#happiest of birthdays to you !!!!! i hope you had a wonderful day filled with laughter and peace and that you received the endless love

[meganwritesfanfics]

All I Need to Know (Don’t Know Much Series)

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Trigger Warnings: Talk of violence and blood.

Spoilers for The Last of Us tv show

“You are missing out on all the fun!” Joel called from the water. 

“I am having plenty of fun over here thank you very much!” Y/N called back as she lay on the beach. The sun was warm on her exposed skin. Her two piece bathing suit showed off her bump. For only being about 4 months along she had really started to pop. 

“Mom, come on.” Sarah giggled as she chased after Tommy who dove into the water. 

“Vikki really wants Mommy to come play.” Joel called again and Y/N leaned up on her elbows and watched and he held onto the two year old who was splashing around. 

“Mama!” She called as Joel set her little feet on the sand and she raced towards Y/N. 

“Come here baby.” Y/N giggled as she sat up and reached her arms out. She scooped up the little girl and started kissing her cubby cheeks. The laughter melted Y/N’s heart. Victoria looked so much like Joel, her smile, her cute little nose, and her dark brown curls. Y/N hoped that all of her children would look just like Joel. 

“Can I play with Vikki in the water?” Sarah asked as she walked up to Y/N. 

“Of course, just keep an eye on her, this little one likes to think she is a fish.” Joel laughed as he plopped down on the sand next to Y/N. 

“You want to play with sissy.” Y/N said and the toddler nodded. 

“Sarah!” She said as she reached her arms around and Sarah scooped her up. 

“We have done good Mama.” Joel said as he reached over and laid his hand on Y/N belly. 

“We really have.” Y/N said getting emotional. 

“Hey?” Joel asked his eyes quickly filling with concern. “What wrong?” 

“Hormones,” Y/N joked. “And also I am just so happy.” 

Joel laughed but he moved in closer. “You have made me the happiest man in the world Y/N. Every day I wake up and I can help but smile.” 

Now the waterworks really started. “Joel, you are making me cry, this isn’t fair you know my emotions are just a mess with this baby.” 

“I know something that could fix that.” He said seductively, as he leaned in and kissed Y/N’s neck. 

“Oh I bet you do Mr. Miller.” Y/N said as he eyes fluttered closed. 

Suddenly she felt Joel hoist her up and her eyes snapped open. 

“Joel!” She screamed as he carried her towards the water. “No!” 

“Alarm!” Y/N heard a voice say and it broke her out of her day dream. 

She had been making coffee when she got lost in her thoughts. It had been less than 6 months since she had lost the baby. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away. Today was not going to be a sad one, it was going to be one of celebration. It was Joel’s birthday after all. 

Sarah was down in the kitchen long before Joel, which was not unusual as either her or Y/N were usually the ones to wake him up. 

“Good morning sweetheart,” Y/N said as she walked over to the fridge and poured out a glass of orange juice for herself and for Sarah. 

“Pour one for dad too,” Sarah said as she reached around and grabbed eggs from the fridge and walked over to the stove. “He needs some Vitamin C. I swear his blood is nothing but coffee.” 

“He is so lucky he has two wonderful women in his life who take care of him.” Y/N smiled. 

“I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to survive without us.” Sarah giggled as she cracked an egg into the pan. 

“Just a heads up, he totally forgot to pick up pancake mix.” Y/N said as she sipped her orange juice. 

“Seriously, I was going to make him birthday pancakes.” Sarah sighed. 

“Hey, how about I make us birthday pancakes for dinner. Your dad probably won’t be home anyway and then we can celebrate his own birthday without him.” Y/N laughed. 

“Sounds like a plan. Oh I won’t be able to ride with you to school today, I have to go get dad’s present.” Sarah continued as she turned back to the stove. 

Y/N reached into the fridge and grabbed out the bacon before returning and standing next to Sarah. 

“Have you given him your present?” Sarah asked and Y/N thought about the package she had stored in the hall closet covered by some luggage that no one had touched in ages. 

“No I figured I can give it to him tonight when we have cake.” Y/N said. 

Joel made his way down the stairs, and Y/N turned to look at him. Even after all the years that they had been together, Y/N couldn’t help but get butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him. Even if he was wearing his shirt inside out. A fact that Y/N was preparing to tease him about relentlessly. 

“Well if it isn’t the birthday boy.” Y/N smiled. 

“Well if it isn’t my two beautiful girls.” Joel smiled as he kissed Y/N. 

“We were going to make pancakes but someone forgot to pick up the pancake mix.” Sarah chimed in. 

“You know, I don’t even really like pancakes.” 

“They weren’t for you, they were for me and mom.” Every time Sarah called her mom, Y/N couldn’t help but smile. 

Joel had made his way over to the coffee machine when Y/N quickly grabbed his arm. 

“No, Dr. Sarah over here requests that you have some orange juice before your coffee this morning.” Y/N laughed as she placed the glass in his hand. 

Joel stuck his tongue out at Sarah and she did the same. 

By the time they had gotten breakfast all ready, Y/N knew she only was going to be able to stay for a little while longer before she had to get to school. 

“How old are you in anyway,” Sarah asked. 

“Thirty-six,” 

“Gonna half to wear diapers soon.” 

“Who says I’m not already.” 

“And on that note, I’m going to head out.” Y/N said as she picked up her plate and walked towards the sink.  It was then that she heard the garage door opening. 

“Is there enough for Uncle Tommy?” Joel asked. 

“There would have been.” Sarah laughed. 

Y/N sighed as she watched Tommy come in. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Tommy, she loved him, he was like a little brother to her as well. But Tommy always found a way of getting himself into trouble, and by getting himself into trouble, he expected Joel to bail him out. She couldn’t count the amount of times Joel had had to go out in the middle to the night to bail Tommy out. Not to mention he absolutely depended on Joel for everything. 

“You’re still alive, you old fucker.” Tommy laughed as he patted Joel on the back and made his way towards the fridge. 

“Aw, he loves you.” Sarah teased. 

“He’s dependent on me. Not the same thing.” Joel said as he made eye contact with Y/N. Tommy was the one constant thing in their relationship that caused them to fight. 

“I think it’s the same.” Sarah chimed in. 

“It’s definitely the same.” Tommy laughed. “Morning Y/N.” He smiled as he pulled open the fridge. 

“Good morning Tommy,” Y/N said. “Promise me you will convince your brother to come home early since it is his birthday.” 

“You and I both know that the only person who can tell Joel what to do is you.” 

“Hey!” Sarah exclaimed her mouth full of eggs. 

“Sorry babygirl, Tommy’s right. You may have me wrapped around your finger, but whatever Y/N says goes.” Joel smiled as he made his way over to Y/N and gave her a big kiss. 

“Well then birthday boy, I expect you home at a reasonable hour, and with cake.” Y/N smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

“Woman, are you making me buy my own birthday cake.” 

“Well seeing as you forgot to buy pancake mix…” She teased. 

“Alright alright.” 

“Now I’ve got to get to work but I will see you tonight.” Y/N kissed him again before she turned and walked towards the garage. 

“Wait,” She heard Joel call and his hand wrapped around her wrist pulling her back into him. “I love you.” He kissed her again hard. 

“I love you too Joel.” She beamed but her mind drifted back to her daydream and her heart broke a little. As she opened the door to leave she called back over her shoulder. “Your shirt is inside out.” 

“Shit,” She heard Joel say and she could hear Sarah laughing as she shut the door behind her. 

*******

The day dragged on, all Y/N wanted to do was be curled up on the couch with Joel and Sarah watching some shitty movie, but she had to work. School was still rough because it was the first couple of weeks of classes so most of the students were still on summer time. Over the lunch break all the teachers were huddled together in the teacher lounge talking about everything that was going on in the news, She knew that what they were talking about was thousands of miles away, but still she couldn’t help but feel a knot growing in her stomach, as if it knew that something terrible was bound to happen. 

Luckily after lunch, most of the students were in a food coma, so they had calmed down a bit, which made the afternoon go by much faster. She spent an hour or so after school grading papers, before she made her back home. It usually only took her about 30 to 45 minutes to make it home depending on traffic. But for some reason it took her almost 2 hours. And it seemed like there were cops everywhere; racing down the street, parked in front of stores, and houses. By the time she reached the house her nerves were shot. 

“Sarah,” She called when she got in the house. But when she saw that all the lights were off, and there was no Sarah sitting on the couch the knot in her stomach grew even larger. “Sarah!” 

She dropped all of her bags on the floor and ran upstairs, her heart racing. As she peered inside Y/N found the room empty, and her heart dropped. 

Just as she was about to pull her phone out and call Joel she heard the front door open. 

“Y/N you are never going to guess what I found at the Adler’s Dad is going to…” Sarah started when Y/N rushed down the stairs and pulled her into her arms. “Woah what’s going on?” 

“I’m sorry, things were so weird and when I came home you weren’t here and I panicked.” Y/N gasped as she held onto Sarah tightly. As she backed away she quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes. “I’m sorry, sorry. What were you saying you found?” 

Sarah smiled as she held up the dvd. Curtis and Viper 2. One of Joel’s favorites. 

“Ugh no!” Y/N teased. “Do you know how many times your dad has made me watch this?” 

“It’s that bad huh?” 

“Oh it’s so bad, but I think your dad will be so excited to introduce you to it!” 

“Too bad he is going to be home late?” 

“What?” Y/N sighed. 

“He said he was going to work a double, but he would be back by nine.” Sarah said as she made her way over to the couch. 

“Yeah, we will see about that.” Y/N said as she picked up her bag and carried it over to the couch to sit with Sarah. “Do you have any homework?” 

“Nope got it all done.” Sarah said but she couldn’t help but smile at the lie. 

“God we need to work on your pokerface girlie, you are never going to be able to lie about anything to your father and me with a face like that.” Y/N laughed. “But it is Friday so I guess I will let you off the hook. You were probably planning on just made panicking Sunday night right?” 

“It’s what I do best.” 

Y/N sat with Sarah on the couch grading papers while Sarah flipped through channels. 9 came and went and Sarah had pulled out a magazine while Y/N watched the news, the fear filling back up as she watched different reports about the violence spreading around the Austin area. She tried her best to keep that fear off her face, she didn’t want Sarah to get worried. 

“Joel is just running late, as usually he will be home any minute.” Y/N thought. 

As the time inched closer to ten and the news reports got worse, Y/N could feel her hands shaking. Something felt wrong, she couldn’t exactly say what, but she was just filled with this feeling of absolute dread. 

When she heard the keys in the lock, she almost cried. She reached forward for the remote and shut off the tv as Joel his way towards the couch, sitting inbetween her and Sarah. 

He said down and laid back placing his hands on his eyes. This is the way most nights ended for the Miller family. Joel worked himself so hard during the day that he came back exhausted, and late. Y/N reached her hand behind him and began to gently rub his back. 

“It’s 10,” Sarah replied. 

“I know.” Joel sighed, “They gave us the wrong size for the headers,” He leaned forward to take off his boots and Y/N leaned forward to help. “Thanks darlin,” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “That doesn’t mean anything to you Sarah, I’m sorry.” 

“Where’s the cake?” Y/N whispered as quietly as possible. 

“Shit,” Joel said placing his head in his hands. 

“Come on man,” Sarah exclaimed. 

“I’ll get us one tomorrow.” 

“Swear or you don’t get your present.” 

Joel sat up and looked at Sarah eyes wide. 

“You got me a present?” 

“Mom did too, but we aren’t going to give it to you unless you swear.” 

“On my life.” Joel said. 

Sarah smiled. “Do you want to go first or should I?” She asked Y/N. 

“You go first, I’m going to move these toxic hazards somewhere else and then grab my gift.” Y/N laughed as she grabbed Joel’s boots and walked them back to the hall. She could hear Joel and Sarah laughing. For some reason as she grabbed the small present and the note from the closet she felt nervous. It was silly to feel nervous, her and Joel had been together for going on ten years. And everything she had written in this note were things they had expressed to one another so many times. But compiling it all into one note had been very emotional for her. 

Ever since they lost the baby, things between the two of them had been rockier than they had ever been in the past. It wasn’t bad, but it was different. Especially because Joel wanted to try again. He would never push her, that wasn’t the type of man Joel was, but he would gauge her thoughts on the idea. She wasn’t ready, and at the time she didn’t know if she would ever be ready again. Not if it meant she would have to face the idea of losing a child again. But time had passed and she felt her heart had healed enough. 

She made her way back towards the couch where she found Joel putting on the watch. 

“Now I know I can’t top Sarah’s gift. But here is one I think we will all enjoy.” But as she was handing over the present she grabbed the note from off the top and slipped it into her back pocket. 

She took her place next to Joel as he opened up the crudely wrapped present. 

“Who helped you wrap this, Tommy?” Joel laughed and Y/N smacked his arm. 

Inside was a Pearl Jam T-shirt with the cover of Joel’s favorite album on it. 

“Oh sweet thank you!” Joel said and he leaned over to give Y/N a kiss. 

“Wait, that isn’t it!” Sarah squealed excitedly. 

“You have to unfold the shirt.” Y/N responded. 

Joel gave her an inquisitive look but he did as he was told and three small slips of paper fell out. 

“Holy shit!” Joel exclaimed and Sarah laughed. “You got me tickets to Pearl Jam!” 

“Well technically I got all of us tickets to Pearl Jam but yes, they are in Dallas in the summer and I figured you would…” She started when he quickly pulled her in for a kiss. 

“How did I get so lucky.” Joel said as he put his arm around Y/N and Sarah and pulled them into him. 

“Can’t breath! Losing oxygen!” Sarah laughed. “Oh there is one more thing.” 

Y/N groaned playfully and Sarah pulled out the dvd from behind the pillow and Joel gasped as he grabbed it from her. 

“Borrowed it from the Adlers.” 

“Oh this is the one with the deleted scenes.” 

“Yeah imagine how bad those have to be.” Sarah laughed. “C’mon pop it in while it’s still your birthday.” 

Joel stood up and placed the dvd in the player before he sat back down on the couch and both Y/N and Sarah cuddled up to him. 

“Don’t fall asleep.” Joel teased. 

“Course I won’t, it’s too riveting.” Sarah said. 

In less than an hour Sarah was out curled up with her head in Joel’s lap. If it hadn’t been for the note sitting in her pocket Y/N would have been out cold to. 

“Joel,” Y/N whispered not wanting to wake Sarah. “I have one more present for you.” 

“Y/N, you didn’t have to get me anything, you and Sarah are all I need.” Joel said. 

“Will you just hush and read it.” She said as she handed him the paper. 

Joel gave her a curious look before he unfolded the paper. He smiled when he started reading it but the smile quickly faded. Y/N felt her heart stop when Joel shifted Sarah carefully off his lap as he stood up still holding the note as he read it intensely. 

Y/N didn’t even know what to say as she stood there waiting for Joel to finish. She watched as he folded the paper back up his hands shaking slightly. He looked up at her tears in his eyes. 

“Y/N, this is…” He cleared his throat. “This is beautiful, I don’t… I don’t know how I got so lucky as to find you.” 

Y/N could feel her own eyes welling up with tears. “You are going to make me cry, stop it.” 

Joel pulled her into his arms holding her tightly. “I love you Y/N, so god damn much.” 

“I love you too Joel. And I meant what I said, I’m ready to start trying for a baby again.” 

He kissed her again hard and she felt his hands working their way up her shirt. 

“Joel, I don’t mean right this second. Sarah is asleep right there.” Y/N giggled. 

“She’s a heavy sleeper, we will be fine.” He said kissing her again. 

They had just started to make their way towards the stairs when Joel's cell phone began buzzing on the table. 

Joel groaned as he backed away from Y/N and made his way to grab it. “Who the hell is calling at this hour?” 

“Joel Miller, you and I both know who is calling.” Y/N sighed as she straightened her shirt back out. 

“Hello?” Joel answered. “Yeah? Goddamnit.” Joel rubbed his eyes and he turned to look at Y/N. “Now?” 

Y/N rolled her eyes as she made her way upstairs to get ready for bed realizing that their plans for the evening had quickly changed. It wasn’t long before she heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. She peered out from the bathroom and saw Joel carrying Sarah to her room. 

She followed and watched as he laid her in bed and leaned down to kiss her forehead before turning back to Y/N with a pleading look in his eyes. 

Neither said a word until they knew they were out of earshot of the sleeping teenager. 

“Tommy is in jail.” Joel sighed. 

“Shit,” Y/N gasped as she ran her hands through her hair. 

“He needs me to come pick him up because if I don’t today he will be stuck in there all weekend. I’m so sorry baby.” 

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want him to be stuck in jail.” Y/N said. “Just please be careful, the news keeps talking about the violence that is happening everywhere and there were so many cops on my drive home and I…” 

“Woah,” Joel said as he grabbed her face in his hands. “Just breath for me darlin’” 

Y/N took a deep breath as she closed the distance between her and Joel as she wrapped her arms around him. 

“Please just promise me you will be careful.” 

“I will go get Tommy, kick his ass, and then I will be right home I promise.” He said as he leaned down and kissed the top of Y/N’s head. “And then when I get back…” He growled seductivly. 

“Oh no, I will be asleep. You had your chance.” Y/N laughed. 

“But it’s my birthday!” Joel whined. 

“It won’t be your birthday by the time you get back.” 

“I will speed, I will be back here before midnight.” 

“If you can get back here before midnight you might get lucky tonight Miller, but I don’t see that happening.” 

“I like a challenge.” Joel said as he kissed her hard again. He large hands gripped her waist and squeezed causing her to moan. 

“Joel,” She gasped. “If you don’t leave now you won’t make it back in time.” 

“Ugh, fine.” He laughed as he pulled away. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She watched him leave The minute he was out of view she felt the exhaustion hit her. Y/N went up to her and Joel room and laid down, thinking that she would just rest her eyes wanting to stay awake for when Joel got home, but the minute her head hit the pillow she drifted off to sleep. 

******

“Dad?” She heard a voice call and it woke her up. “Y/N?” She turned sleepy to see Sarah standing in the doorway. Suddenly a helicopter roared over head shaking the house. 

Y/N looked at the clock and saw that it was two in the morning. Panic set in when she found her bed empty and no sign of Joel. 

“Joel?!” She called as she followed Sarah downstairs. 

The house was empty. The noises that filled the air only added to the panic that Y/N felt but she tried to keep calm for Sarah’s sake. 

“Where is Dad?” Sarah asked worried. 

“He had to go pick up Tommy, he should be back soon.” Y/N said as she reached for the remote and turned on the tv hoping to find answers as to what was going on. 

The tv turned on to the emergency broadcast sound. “Law enforcement and emergency services are in the area and will be in contact with further instructions… 

Suddenly there was a loud banging sound and both Y/N and Sarah jumped. Y/N grabbed Sarah and pushed her behind her, but their assailant they found was Mercy, the Adler’s dog. 

“Jesus Christ.” Y/N gasped. “That’s it I’m calling your dad,” Y/N walked away from Sarah into the kitchen to grab the phone. 

In an instant she dialed Joel’s phone number, and began pacing around the kitchen waiting for him to answer. 

“You have reached Joel Miller, sorry I couldn’t come to the…” The voicemail responded and Y/N slammed the phone back down. 

“Fuck!” She whispered under her breath. She balled her hands into fists trying to stop them from shaking. “Knowing your dad, he has the volume turned all the way down so he…” Y/N tried to laugh but when she turned the corner she found Sarah was gone and the front door was wide open. “Sarah!” 

Y/N burst out the front door just in time to watch Mercy sprint down the street. “Sarah!” She screamed again and turned to see Sarah standing in the Adler’s yard. “What the hell Sarah, you can’t just go off like that, you scared the shit out of me…” 

“I think something happened to the Adler’s.” Sarah said. 

Y/N made her way over to Sarah and saw what she was looking at. The front door to the Adler’s was wide open and they could hear clanging coming from inside. Y/N’s blood ran cold. 

“Ok, Sarah we are going to quietly make our way back to the house.” Y/N whispered. 

“But what if they are hurt?” 

Y/N sighed. “I will check on them, you go back and lock the door behind you.” 

“No, I’m not leaving you.” 

“Sarah I…” Y/N snapped but she knew that Sarah was far too stubborn to persuade her otherwise. “Fine but stay behind me, understood.” 

She just nodded and she got up close to Y/N as they made their way into the house. 

The first thing they saw was the rug was bunched up right at the door and Mercy’s lease was laying on the ground. It looked as though they had been heading out the door for a walk when whatever happened, happened. 

“Mrs. Adler?” Y/N called as they inched forward in the house. Another loud clang came from the kitchen and Sarah grabbed onto Y/N hand tightly. 

“Mrs. Adler?” Sarah called as they made their way toward the kitchen. Y/N had just taken a step inside when her foot slipped on something wet. She looked down in horror to find a large trail of blood and at the end was Mr. Adler leaning up against the wall. 

“Help me,” He gasped. 

“Oh my god,” Y/N inched forward but watched as Mr. Adler frantically looked from her to his left then back at her again. Y/N followed his sightline and froze when she saw Nana Adler on top of Mrs. Adler and it looked like she was eating her. As Nana Adler slowly looked up Y/N saw what looked like vines growing out of her mouth. “Sarah.” She tried to say but no words came out as she stood in fear watching as the old woman locked eyes with her and let out a loud screech. “Run!” She screamed as she turned back to Sarah and the two bolted from the house. 

Y/N looked over her shoulder to see if they were being followed when she heard the sound of a car and saw the headlights. 

“Get in the truck right now!” She heard a voice say and she knew it was Joel. “Move,” He said as he grabbed onto Sarah and started to push her towards the truck, Y/N following closely behind the two of them. 

Another loud screech came from the house as everyone turned in horror to watch Nana Adler burst from the house. She tripped on the rug and landed with a sickening crack on the floor. Joel had one hand on Sarah and the other he held a large wrench, but he used that hand to start to push Y/N behind him. 

“What are we doing Joel?” Tommy screamed as Nana Adler sprinted towards them. 

Just before she reached them Y/N lunged at Sarah to try to protect her, and Joel took a swing with the wrench, cracking Nana Adler across the face and she landed on the ground unmoving. 

Y/N grabbed onto Sarah and pulled her in, trying to shield her from the body. She had tears in her eyes as she looked over at Joel. 

“You killed her,” She gasped and he dropped the wrench pulling both Y/N and Sarah into his arms. 

“I’m sorry baby,” He said. 

“Joel we got to go,” Tommy replied and that was the first time Y/N noticed that Tommy had a shotgun. 

“Listen to me,” Joel said. “It’s not just the Adlers.” 

Sarah moved out of Y/N’s embrace to look at her father, tears streaming down her face. 

“We are going to be brave. And we are going to get out of this.” He said as he grabbed her face in his hands. 

There was a loud explosion behind them and Y/N jumped still holding on tightly to both Sarah and Joel. 

“Let’s go come one.” Tommy said as he went back to the driver’s seat. 

Joel helped Sarah into the car and as he reached back for Y/N she threw her arms around him. 

“We are going to be ok Joel, aren’t we?” She asked terrified. 

“I promise darlin’ I’m not going to let anything happen to you or Sarah.” He kissed the side of her head as he helped her into the car. 

Previous Part Next Part

[boynextdoors]

ro darling !! sorry if this is late but happiest of birthdays to you <3 i hope you have/had the bestest day filled with love and laughter and peace (and ofc cake) and that you got to spend it just the way you wanted to. i hope this next year treats you with nothing but the endless kindness you deserve. i know we don’t talk all that much but pls know i think you’re the coolest most wonderful bean. may you be happy and healthy always. sending you lots of love and hugs (((hugs tightly))) <3

nini! its not late at all<3 thank u sooooo much and i did get to celebrate it the way I wanted too (I had to cut three cakes eidwefuwe) 💘💘💘💘💘💞💞💞💗💗💗💖 sending u hugs back!!!!!

[nube55]

HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, DEAREST NUBE!!!! ✨ I hope you have the most wonderful birthday month and that you get some much-needed relaxation time. You are one of the most remarkable people I have had the pleasure of meeting through Tumblr, and you are so very much loved by us all. You make such an amazing impact on anyone you meet (trust me, I'd know!) and you're super funny, kind, compassionate, wicked smart and you deserve the world!!!

I love you dearly, friend! happiest of days to you 💕💕💕💕

Amyyyyy

Thank you so much!! But girl you'll make me cry with all these compliments 😭 I'm so glad I got to meet you and your amazing self. I wish we continue sharing some laughter, and ideas, and leisure time 😉 And most importantly, I wish you too have a wonderful year, filled with all the love and joy you bring upon others!

Love you lots!! 💜

[i-got-the-feels]

MY DARLING KRISH HI <3

i’m not here atm and i think i’m late i’m so sorry :( but it’s still your birthday for me here so happiest of birthdays to you beloved! i hope you had the bestest most fun wonderful day and i hope it was filled with all the love and laughter and cake in the world. you deserve nothing less. may this next year treat you with nothing but grace and kindness and patience and bring you good things only! never forget how kind and funny and sweet and talented you are pls (but also i’ll always be there to remind you <3). i adore you endlessly and i am giving you a lil birthday smooch on the forehead through the screen. mwah.

p.s. we haven’t talked in a bit so i hope life’s been good to you! (((hugs tightly))) <3

Nini love - I hope you are doing well

Thank you for this message. I have been in a weird place mentally and hence took time to respond to messages

I miss you and our conversations

[princemick]

ahhhhhhh i’m pretty sure i missed it in your timezone but since it’s still the 30th here for a few hours i’ll consider myself good. HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY KYLE!!!!!!!! i truly hope you had a wonderful day, you deserve it, and i’m wishing you an incredible year filled with lots of love and laughter and joy. you have made our corner of the internet brighter and more exciting and just generally very fun and lively and i’m very very thankful for that. never stop being you!!!!!!! much muc much love 💙💙💙💙💙

aaaah amandaaa wth pls, thank you you're so fucking sweet thank you for welcoming me into this lil corner and making me feel so welcome you're amazing, sending u all the love back <3333

[ladytheoris]

Warning: Fluff

Gojo X Fem reader

AN: birthday post!!

Out of the three hundred and sixty-five days on a calendar, if someone asked you which is the most dreaded day, you would say it is your birthday. It was primarily because of the lack of interest others showed in your birthday. No one bothered to send a wish your way, neither a gift. All along, you were alone. And on that one day, you decide to be the happiest person to ever walk on this planet; as a credit to completing a year, as well as a hope for the next year to be not a bleak one.

But things took a sudden turn when you became acquainted with Gojo Satoru. It was the first random blind date arranged by your friend, to a high school teacher. All that you expected to see was a guy with stubble and a nerd glass with a bit belly. Unlike what you saw; a living form of Jack Frost with sea-blue eyes and silvery hair that reached past his ears. From the looks, he did not have a potbelly, but rather a well-built form enough to envy the runway models.

And it was exactly eight months back that happened. You've been through your ups and downs, you've seen each others' best and worst. In short, you clicked faster than everyone had anticipated.

One thing you did not want to tell him was your impending fear of birthday parties. Maybe that was why Satoru decided to take leave the whole day, planning, purchasing, and decorating your home. And when you returned from work, the whole apartment was not recognizable. It was covered in crepe paper hanging that looks weird yet perfect, balloons that are floating everywhere, and amidst all, Satoru with a big red ribbon on his head.

"What's all this, love?" You asked, only to get a long kiss pressed on your chapped lips.

"It's your birthday." Satoru hugged you closer to his chest, sniffing your hair.

"You remembered?"

"Am I supposed to forget the password to most of my accounts?" He drags you to the dining table where a purple cake sat. It was a work of art, and you could tell Satoru had his fair share in forcing the life out of Nanami to make that cake.

The wonderful caption on the cake said "eat me". You looked at Satoru, and then back at the cake.

"Who am I supposed to eat?" With a big smile plastered on your face, and with a big smirk on his, you cut the cake into two tiny pieces after blowing out the candles.

"Aww, you were supposed to make a wish." He whines as he steals the rest of that cake. You are sure that you won't be seeing that cake the next day. He and his sugar addiction is something that has a history that dates even longer than the span of your relationship. You never complained though.

"I already have everything I wished for." You followed him to the kitchen. He places the cake safely on the counter, as he turns around facing you.

"What did you wish for then?" He placed a soft peck on the crook of your nose.

"A prince who would sweep me off my feet, and have a magical happily ever after." Your hands are wrapped around his torso, as he pulls you closer to him.

"I am your prince?" He smiles again and places another kiss on your lips. "But baby for a happily ever after, you need a ring on your finger don't you think?"

He fishes out a velvet box out of his pocket, "this might be a bit fast-paced, but I can see my infinity and beyond with you."

You did not let him bend his knees. Before giving him the chance, you pulled him in for a deep kiss.

"I had one in my bag too," you said in between the kiss.

"What?"

"A ring."

"You were going to propose me?" His eyes went wide for a second as he stopped his kisses.

"Why regretting your choice now?" you told.

"This is why I love you." He ran to your bag, which was long thrown on the couch. "Where is my ring?"

As waves of laughter filled in that shared apartment, which was filled with love and sweet pillow talks afterward. Safe to say, Satoru did make you feel special after fishing out the ring from your bag. Your birthday was celebrated well in the arms of your lover, now fiance.

[radiowallet]

A huge thank you to Maia @shite-art for creating this adorable Frankie cat and taking a truly hilarious idea and making something so unique and special- a perfect birthday gift for our dearest @jazzelsaur Maia was a dream to work with and their commissions are OPEN! You can find all their details here!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESS!

This Birthday Surprise #1 was commissioned as a gift to @jazzelsaur for her birthday today! My dearest wife- We wanted your day to be as fun and amazing as possible and what better way to achieve that than with a Francisco!Cat taking his piggies dippin! You are such a kind and generous spirit to everyone you meet and you deserve all of that and more in return! We hope that your day is incredible- filled with fun, relaxation, and all the birthday cheer! Happy Birthday!

Some love for you, below the cut!

(We welcome everyone to reblog with your own message for Jess and tag @jazzelsaur so she sees it!)

From @magpie-to-the-morning

Jess!! You are wonderful and talented and we adore you. It's not just your wicked sense of humor, or your gorgeously hot smut, or that big beautiful brain of yours, it's YOU, all of you. You're marvelous and loving and talented, and you share yourself while also balancing writing, fandom, work, and being a person in the world during this truly bonkers time. You're an inspiration and one of the best people I've had the pleasure of meeting on this hellsite (affectionate). I'm so honored and delighted to call you a friend. I hope you have the best birthday and that these gifts and messages put a smile on your gorgeous face. Lots of love!! ~Emma xoxox

From @heartsofbeskar

to my sugar mama, throuple partner, little scrungly, chubba bun, across the lake lover… happiest of birthdays! its feeling very “i love thee let me count the ways” in here as i try to wrack my brain to describe just how much you mean to me. the truth is there isnt words, but there is feelings— the laughter at our exchange of tiktoks, the fondness when you call me any of numerous nicknames, the pride at your talent in writing porn. perhaps mostly importantly, though, is the warmth of your kindness and love and support that burns steadfastly in my heart and helps keep me going. even through the vast abstractness of the internet, you’ve been an invaluable part of keeping me sane, and i can never thank you enough. you’re a beautiful, intelligent, curly haired goddess, and you deserve the absolute best this universe can give. p.s. can i get my allowance? xoxo

LOVE YOU!❤️ olive aka scrimbo

From @sharkbait77

Jess honey ❤️ I've not had as much opportunity to get to know you as well as the other lovelies here, but you have never failed to make me feel so seen, so listened to, & just be a great friend & person to me in general. In a world like ours, it seems like pure, beautiful souls like yours are so hard to come by, but when we do have the luck to know a person such as yourself, it makes all the difference to someone like me. Always know how appreciated you are for your friendship & talent & know that you're always on my mind & I'm always sending good vibes & well wishes your way. I'm happy to know you Jess! Have a very happy birthday & I hope you have very many, great birthdays to come ❤️ Love, Lex 😘

From @asta-lily

Jess my most favourite hot mess, where to even start? You always credit me with being the one who first befriended you in the tumblrverse but you're the one who truly is the gift that keeps on giving. Always going out of your way to send love and golden hearted wishes and never asking anything in return. You are a prolifically beautiful writer and person and I am so so grateful to know you. Have the most special day, and make sure Dr hot mess is spoiling you as you deserve. Love you lots angel, keep being the ray of light that you are - a true diamond 💎 Love, lilsabeth 💙💙💙

From @djarinsbeskar

Darling Jess, from the first moment I met you I knew you were a special bean. You possess so many traits that I think everyone should aspire to have even some of; filthy, fabulous (i mean just look at those curls 😍 ) fiendishly talented and utterly fearless in your exploration of the human psyche through your writing. Your presence has been such a wonderful gift in an otherwise stressful year and your humble, selfless kindness is truly something so rare and precious that I hope you never forget it! I hope you have the most wonderful day surrounded by love and attention (yes, phd or not I'm looking at the doc in the house) and that you enjoy your gifts! Happy birthday!!! xxx

From @thirstworldproblemss

Happy Birthday, Jess! You are such an amazingly funny, strong, supportive, really-freakin'-talented human being, and I'm so glad to have fallen into your circle. Chatting with you is always a kick in the pants in the very best way, and whether you are detailing the relative merits of wookie-fucking, talking me down during a tough day, or just committing puss-on-puss violence, it always makes my day a little bit brighter. I am so very glad to know you, and I hope that your special day is every bit as lovely as you are! <3 your fellow angsty clown whore, twp

From @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Jess- You talented, brilliant, kind, fucking hilarious, fiendish human. I adore you. You are such a bright light, not just because of how wonderfully you write, but also because of how warm and lovely you are to the people around you. You make people feel seen and loved and appreciated. And I feel so lucky to know you. I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful year, Jessafina. You deserve nothing less!! ❤️❤️❤️

From @mandocrasis

Happy birthday Jess! You are an absolute treasure and I'm so so glad to have met you. Your writing constantly makes me want to bust a nut, both because it's beautifully written and because of the top notch, chef's kiss, whore-ny content you provide ❤️You are so kind and caring and offer so much love to those around you. I feel so lucky to be anywhere within your light ❤️ I hope your day brings you every joy imaginable!! 😘

From @leslie-lyman

Jess - Just seeing you on my dash always makes my day brighter. I still remember the first time we slid into each others’ DMs - I literally could not believe that one of my favorite writers was interested in talking to me! You’re always so generous with your time and your talent and your support and I am thankful every day for it. You are such a beautiful person who creates such beautiful things. Thank you for sharing them and your wonderful self with us. I just freaking adore you and hope you have the absolute most amazing birthday! Love, Leslie

From @letterfromvienna

Lady Jessica, my dear—happy birthday! what can I say about you that’s enough? you’re wonderfully talented, so funny, creative, sweet, and supportive. really, just an all around delight. you’re such a bright light in our community: you’re always so welcoming to others, always ready with a funny message or a reply or a supportive comment that really means the world. you put so much of yourself into your work and your friendships—your lovely personality always shines though. I feel so very lucky that this fandom brought us together and I love you to bits (even if you keep sending CiCi @ Law after me) ❤️ thank you for being you and happy birthday, lovely!

From @honestly-shite

Happy Birthday Jess, you gorgeous person!! You are one of the most kind and supporting people I have met on this hellsite, not to mention you are a beautiful writer. You've made me cry with Frankie and Ellie's emotions too many times to count tbh and I love that because through them, you give me the wonderful gift of falling in love. Please know that whenever I see you in my notifications, I do a happy squeal, and whenever I see you on the dash (probably affectionately whoring it up) I read and smile and laugh. You're so lovely. Thank you for always supporting my art 💚 Here's a birthday smooch for you 😘 have a lovely day, you talented lady!

From @loversandantiheroes

Happy big damn birthday to one of the coolest, kindest, funniest, and horniest nerds I know. Thank you for blessing us with your talents, antics, and friendship. We are all the better for it, despite any legal forms you may or may not have received on account of 🐱damages. May your day be filled with love and joy and booze and as many dicks as your whorish little heart desires. 💖🥳🎊🎉🍆💦✨

From @frannyzooey

Happy Birthday to one of the most amazingly sweetest people I know! Thank you for gifting us not only your superb writing, but also gifting us YOURSELF - our lives are all made better by having you in them. Your massive, incredibly enthusiastic reblogs honestly sustain me and I am so very thankful to have you in my life. I love you and Happy happy birthday!

From @astroboots

My favourite whore in the whole wide world (except don't tell the other whores in my life, cause you know how jealousy they all get over this title) you're not just my favourite whore but also one of my absolute favourite people in my world, whether it's virtually screaming horrific nicknames to each other affectionately, debating on the cockulations of wookiee sex, cry-laughing about fat cats on tik-tok, or simply daydreaming about our favourite helicopter pilot husband, you always bring me so much joy in my life. I still remembering reading your humble little poly-story and how I felt like I was being physically attacked by talent. And I don't know if it was the wealth of talent embedded in the story, how your empathy and emotional intelligence shone so brightly in your words, or the filthy porn that had sprung forth from your mind— but what I did know is that I knew from that moment on was that I wanted to befriend this talented filthy horny genius, and I am so glad I did, because I have one of the most supportive and rewarding online friendships I've encountered. You are warm, kind, talented, funny, and just all around best, and I hope that this birthday and even this year against all fucking odds will be absolutely amazing for you, because you if anyone deserves it. All my whorey love, CiCi xx

P.S. The dino-cock was my idea.

P.P.S. you should be so grateful I didn't have Maia draw graphic wookiee porn as part of your birthday gift

And from me:

Jess-

My love, my wife, my whole damn heart! It of course stands to be said that I have let you know just how much your mere existence means to mean on many many occasions. But I'm going to say it again, because as far as I'm concerned, it cannot be said enough. From our very first conversation about writing I knew you were someone I wanted to be around forever. Your kindness, enthusiasm, joy, humor, and love were utterly intoxicating. There hasn't been a day since that very first conversation where I haven't counted myself so very lucky for having you as a friend. Whether we're making terrible jokes together, laughing about our sweet husbands, or giggling about our fictional men, I enjoy every single second of it. Your kind heart and your generous spirit is a gift, and your ability to break me (and my puss) down with your words is unmatched. I am so thankful that I have found a supportive and loving friend that I can count on in all times. You are funny and warm and so so wonderful. I hope you have the most fabulous day where you are pampered with wine and cheese and all things that make you happy. You deserve the best day today and every day!

All of my love to you, Cat

Stay tuned... ;)

[tippedbykreider]

something just like this | c. parayko

Word count: 14.6k Warnings: Mention of infertility Author’s Note: Colt and Cass are back! There’s been about 1.3k of stuff added to this but everything has remained pretty much the same :) Song title is from ‘Something Just Like This’ by The Chainsmokers Summary: Colton Parayko is no stranger to living life on the road and being away from home, but when a new neighbour moves in to the property next door, Colton comes to learn that perhaps home isn’t a place after all.

Colton Parayko would consider himself to be a lucky man. He had a dream job, he was living in a city that felt like home despite being thousands of miles away from his actual home. He drove a nice car, had a nice house in a good area and his neighbours were some of the kindest people he’d ever had the pleasure of encountering. Sure, there were days where he could kill a man for a Tim Horton’s but had to settle for a Starbucks instead, and those days made a pang of homesickness rear its head in his chest, but they were few and far between and if his biggest gripe was a lack of Tim Horton’s coffee in St Louis, then Colton thought he was doing pretty damn well if he was to say so himself.

He’d been in the city for the better part of five years now and had really found a place where he felt like he could put down roots, or at least for as long as his career would allow. When he’d first moved to the city he’d found himself an apartment right in the heart of Downtown, and while it was exciting and there was never a dull moment, it never really felt like somewhere Colton could see himself long term. He liked to party just like anyone else, but he was happiest when relaxing in his own space with a puzzle or a good book. To some this might seem boring or like he was old before his time but with a life as full on as Colton’s could be, it was a nice change of pace to kick back, relax and unwind. That’s what led him to the house he’d called home for the last couple of years. It was modestly sized but bright and airy and a perfect base for him during the season. The neighbourhood was quiet and filled with a lot of young families and it had that real sense of community that reminded Colton of his hometown back in Canada. He didn’t have to think twice about leaving his number with Laura and Joe or Tom and Martina on either side of him in case of an emergency and he knew that his bins would be taken care of if garbage day fell during one of his stretches on the road.

Things had been the same since he’d moved in and in some ways it seemed like time had stood still in that little corner of St Louis but rather than feeling humdrum and dull, Colton felt like it gave him a safe harbour to come back to during the crazy storm of the hockey season. No matter whatever else was happening in his life, Colton could always rely on the community spirit of his neighbourhood to make him feel like he was at home. But sooner or later, the tides of change sweep in and life as we know it is rearranged, sometimes in small ways, other times beyond all recognition. It started on a Tuesday morning in late-February; it was a rare day off and Colton was locking the front door to his house before heading out on his morning run when he noticed the for-sale sign in the front yard of the house to the right of his. He had no reason for the odd feeling that had sprouted in his stomach and had begun to settle heavily there, but there it was all the same.

He set off down the street at a leisurely jog, casting his mind back to the last conversation he’d had with Tom or Martina to try and remember if they’d mentioned anything to him about them potentially moving elsewhere but he was certain that they hadn’t. He would have remembered something like that, he would. He wasn’t exactly sure why seeing the sign had jarred him so much in the first place because while he was friendly with Tom and Martina and while he had always made sure to buy their son a small gift every Christmas and birthday since moving there, it wasn’t like he would consider himself to be their best friend or anything like that. But even so, Colton always enjoyed hearing Sam play outside on warmer days and he knew that he would miss his raucous laughter, it had reminded him so often of his own niece’s back in St Albert. Perhaps that’s what all this was about, Colton thought, the nostalgia and the sense of normalcy and that feeling of home, but even he understood that all things succumb to the rolling tides of change and that people move on to pastures new. All he could hope was that the new owners were just as nice and friendly as the soon-to-be old ones were.

 It was early April when Colton spotted the removals van parked out on the street and within 48 hours he found himself waving off the Parkers along with the rest of the cul-de-sac. He wondered then who the new owners were, what they were like, whether they had children and hoped beyond hope that they would be willing to help keep an eye on his place while he was either away on the road or back in Alberta. He didn’t give it much more thought after that; the Blues were about to start their playoff campaign and Colton’s mind was firmly fixed on hockey. It was only when he returned home from a two day trip to Minnesota that he noticed a silver Mercedes coupe on the driveway next-door. The neighbourly instinct in him told him to go and introduce himself, but it was getting late and all Colton could think about was getting inside, taking a hot shower and dragging his tired body into bed.

An early practice meant that any semblance of a lie-in was out of the question. He’d decided to forgo breakfast at home in favour of an extra fifteen minutes wrapped up in the warmth of his duvet, figuring that he’d find some time to eat at the rink instead. By 8am he was slipping on his sneakers and heading out the door, a small duffel slung over one shoulder with a travel mug of coffee in his hand and his keys in the other. He was so focused on getting the front door closed and locked without having his bag slip from its precarious perch and spilling his coffee that he didn’t notice his new neighbour going through a similar routine of their own. She had a tan leather satchel balanced on her shoulder and her tote handbag was hooked over the same arm and dangling obnoxiously enough that it was severely impeding her ability to get the front door closed. Colton had just turned to get into his car when he saw her and his eyes immediately went to the comically large travel mug that was being held at an almost dangerous angle while she tried to move the bags out of the path between the door and the frame.

It was a no-brainer for Colton to set his own travel mug down on the roof of his car and cross the distance between the two houses, pocketing his car keys as he went. He couldn’t help the small smile that sparked across his face as her voice came into focus with every step he took.

“Με δουλεύεις? Δεν έχω χρόνο για αυτό! Σκατά στον τάφο σου…”

His brows knitted together in confusion despite the gentle smirk on his lips, stifling a laugh as he approached the porch steps while his new neighbour sighed in pure exasperation, completely unaware of his presence behind her.

“Σάλτα και γαμήσου.”

Colton leaned forward and took the mug, which was now tilted almost horizontally from her efforts, from her hand. She turned her head quickly, a look of surprise on her features that Colton returned with a friendly grin.

“You looked like you were having a bit of trouble there.”

She closed her eyes and offered a small laugh on the exhale of a single breath, the corners of her lips quirking ever so slightly into a hint of a smile.

“Sorry about that,” she said apologetically. “The plan wasn’t to cause a ruckus in the street this morning.”

Colton laughed and offered his hand to take the bags from her which she accepted gratefully, turning and shutting the front door before turning the key in the lock with a sense of finality.

“Sounded like you were really sticking it to that door.” He handed back her bags and waited until she’d pressed the button on her car keys to unlock it before giving her back the mug of coffee, taking in the navy blue pencil skirt suit and the powder blue silk blouse she wore. “You gonna be okay from here?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she tossed her bags onto the passenger seat and surveyed him with a thankful expression. “Sorry for the theatrics, I just get a little flustered when I think I’m running late, especially on my first day at a new job.”

“Completely understandable,” Colton agreed while nodding sagely. “I’m Colton, by the way.”

“Cassandra,” she replied, offering her hand which he shook. “I’m guessing you live around here?”

“Yep,” Colton pointed to his house, not a stone’s throw away from hers. “Literally just there.”

Cassandra smiled at him, bright and dazzling and a million miles away from the frustrated little grimace she’d had on her face only a few minutes before, as if the incident with the door was already a distant memory.

“Well, it was lucky you came along when you did. Two bags, one of them heavy and a mug full of coffee? Could’ve been messy,” she smirked behind her travel mug as she took a sip, surveying him with chocolate eyes that were keen and warm all at once. “That’ll teach me, huh?”

“Glad to help. Although maybe leave the octopus impression to actual octopuses. Or is octopi? I never know which,” Colton mused, adjusting the strap of his duffel on his shoulder.

“I believe octopuses is the correct plural, grammatically speaking, although I’m not sure they mind either way,” Cassandra contemplated with a bemused smile on her lips before a brief silence fell between them as they surveyed each other with easiness and a gentle intrigue.

She was beautiful, Colton thought, and nothing like any woman he’d ever seen before with her olive skin and hair as dark as her eyes and there was a kind of fire in her belly, of that Colton was sure because in his twenty seven years of life he’d never seen anybody berate an inanimate object with the kind of gusto that she just had, even if he didn’t understand a word of it. He thought it was an odd contrast to the perfect, pristine suit that she was wearing and he found himself wondering just what it was that she did for a living. That thought quickly brought his mind back to the present, remembering that the real world was calling and that they both indeed had to get to their respective jobs, and he made a mental note to ask her about it when they both had a little more time on their hands.

“Well, I uh, I actually gotta shoot for work too but it was really nice meeting you,” Colton announced with what Cassandra interpreted as slight reluctance which she found both intriguing and endearing in equal measure. “And good luck for your first day at work, I hope it goes well for ya.”

“Yeah, you too and uh, thanks again.”

Colton flashed her a toothy grin, one that gave him a boyish kind of charm despite his imposing size, as he replied, warm and genuine, “Anytime.”

Cassandra watched with intrigue as Colton retreated back to his driveway and got into his SUV, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She wasn’t sure what exactly the rest of her day would have in store for her, but as she saw the little wave Colton gave her through the window as he pulled away, she could feel a lightness start to spread in her chest and knew without a shadow of a doubt that the small act of kindness from her new neighbour had salvaged her morning.

 It was four days later when Cassandra saw her neighbour again, an unusually warm Friday afternoon to be exact. It was his car in the driveway that she noticed first on account that it had been missing for the last two days and while she knew nothing of the man that had rescued her Monday other than the fact that his name was Colton, she couldn’t help the involuntary smile that had settled on her lips as she turned into the quiet cul-de-sac and saw the dark grey SUV she’d recognised from the other morning. She wondered just exactly when he’d come home, remembering her earlier observation that it was still missing as she reversed off her own driveway a shade past 8am that morning. It was 2:30pm now and all Cassandra could think about was getting out of her tailored dress and court shoes and into something much more comfortable.

She shut the engine off and climbed out of her car, grabbing her purse as she went; she’d come back for her satchel later. She immediately slipped off her shoes, not caring that she hadn’t even made the short distance up the driveway to the house, and tucked them carefully under her arm while she fished in her purse for her keys. She didn’t notice the tall blonde from next door emerge from his house, nor did she notice the bemused smile he wore while he watched her root around her too-large purse for her house keys and she definitely didn’t notice him set down the bucket of water and sponge he had in his hands before starting to cross the short distance between their houses.

“You need some help there?” he called out with a grin, causing her to jump and drop the shoes under her arm and the purse in her hand with a clatter.

“Ιησούς Χριστός!” She turned then, the slightly startled expression on her face melting into a warm smile and a soft laugh as she took in the large man in front of her, playfully prodding his solid chest as payback for the little fright he’d given her before moving to bend down and pick her belongings up off the floor. Colton was quicker though and before she had a chance to really register what was going on, Colton was handing her back the oversized purse, the black court shoes still in his other hand.

“Now, I’m gonna hazard a guess here and say that those aren’t your size,” she added with a devious little smirk, nodding towards his hand and laughing. Colton took a couple of beats to catch up to what she was saying as his eyes drifted from the easy grin she had on her face to the shoes before his face turned an interesting shade of pink and his free hand moved to rub the back of his neck.

“I just, um, I figured I’d keep a hold of them while you looked for your keys,” he offered.

“Very thoughtful of you. I swear I’m not usually this disorganised,” she said while she resumed her search inside of her purse. “It’s the Friday brain.”

“Rough week?”

“I’ve questioned my life choices exactly seven times this week and considered becoming a stripper but then I remembered that I couldn’t dance and my parents would be extremely disappoin- Aha!” She pulled the keys from out of her purse and put them into the lock. Colton was instantly hit with the sweet smell of summer flowers mixed with a scent that he couldn’t quite place the second her front door swung open but it somehow seemed to fit her, despite him still not really knowing her all that well. He wanted to though, because while she was intriguing and piqued Colton’s interest in all manner of ways, she was also incredibly warm, the kind of warmth that would draw even the most adventurous wayfarer to hearth and home. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was about her that gave her this gentle presence, maybe it was her eyes and how they seemed to hold a kind of sincerity that he couldn’t help but be enchanted by. Perhaps that was the reason why he was still standing holding her shoes in his hand even after she’d crossed the threshold into her home, despite him every intention of using the rare sliver of free time he had to do something productive like wash his car.

She’d finished hanging up her purse and was now back in front of him, surveying him with an easy smile while her hands reached out to gently take the shoes from his hand.

“Do you wanna come in for a drink or something? I bought a new espresso machine the other day and it’s the perfect weather to make iced coffee, although other beverages are also available if you’d prefer something else.”

“Oh I don’t wanna interrupt-“

“You’re not,” Cassandra assured. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to, believe me.”

There was a lightness in her tone that matched her smile and Colton found himself nodding in agreement, the bucket and sponge sat on his porch steps forgotten as he followed her inside and closed the door behind him. Her home had a warmness to it, much like the one Cassandra radiated herself, and Colton couldn’t help but be impressed at just how put together and lived in the space looked, despite it not even being two weeks since he was sure she’d moved in.

“Wow,” he said as he followed her deeper into the house. “You wouldn’t think you’d just moved in here, it took me weeks to unpack.”

Cassandra smiled as she grabbed two glasses from the cupboard while Colton settled himself against the kitchen island.

“I don’t have a lot of stuff really. This place is easily two or three times the size of my old apartment back in New York so once the furniture was in there wasn’t really an awful lot left to unpack. I did go to Pottery Barn on like, my second day here, which I’m not sure I’ll ever financially recover from but those chunky merino wool blankets are like crack to me.”

Colton laughed as he allowed his eyes to go to the blankets in question that were arranged over the back of a cosy looking cream fabric corner sofa. There were scatter cushions that somehow managed to look both homey and perfectly placed and while the whole room screamed French farmhouse vibes that wouldn’t have looked out of place on Pinterest, it never lost the inviting and hospitable charm that hit him as soon as he stepped foot inside. He took in the rest of the décor while Cassandra busied herself with their iced coffee, pushing away from the island to get a closer look at the many photographs arranged on the side tables and walls.

His attention was caught by a particularly large framed picture on the wall above a console table, eyes immediately drawn to the large group of smiling faces staring back at him. There must have been at least forty people in this photograph, he noted, all standing in front of a white villa with shutters that were the colour of the bright sky above them. He found Cassandra easily, her smile even more dazzling than the sun was that day. She was stood between a man and a woman whom Colton could only assume to be her parents. She had the same golden olive skin as her father, he thought, and her eyes bore a remarkable similarity to his in the way they crinkled slightly at the corners when she smiled but her smile itself and the rest of her features? They were all her mother’s and Colton caught himself smiling softly as he traced his gaze over each happy face in the photograph.

“Is this your family?”

Cassandra poked her head around the wall to see what Colton was referring to, laughing softly at the sight of him looking at the picture with a mild sense of wonder resting on his face before going back to finish making their drinks.

“Yeah,” she called from the kitchen.

“That’s a, that’s a real big family you got there.”

“Well,” she started, the amusement and teasing clear in her voice. “I am Greek and if you’ve ever seen that movie with John Corbett and Nia Vardalos you’ll understand exactly what it’s like.”

Colton fired a grin at her as he shook his head gently, “can’t say that I have.”

“I wish I could say that they exaggerated what it’s really like for the purposes of the movie but they really, really didn’t,” she laughed over the sound of the espresso machine. “Although I am glad that the swearing the other morning didn’t tip you off, I was trying to stay incognito so I didn’t have to spend my life listening to people talk to me about how good the gyros are here. The ones you guys sell here? Not traditional Greek gyros and frankly I’m insulted.”

She reappeared with two glasses in her hand, sidling up next to Colton with a brush of her shoulder against his bicep as she nudged into him with a playfulness that he couldn’t help but chuckle at, thanking her as he took one of the glasses from her hands.

“I mean, I thought you looked Mediterranean but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure on what language you were yelling at your door in.”

“Sometimes when I’m frustrated I open my mouth and my baba comes out,” Cassandra shrugged casually from behind her glass as she took a sip. “Those genes run pretty strong. They’re a passionate people, the Greeks.”

“So were you born in Greece and then moved here when you were young, or?” Colton asked, following Cassandra as she moved to the patio door and out onto the deck before settling down in the chair next to her.

“Oh no, I’m a born and raised New Yorker,” Cassandra clarified as she set her glass down on the side table between them.

“Really? I’ve been to New York a few times with work and you don’t have much of an accent, if you don’t mind me saying. I uh I don’t mean it rudely it’s just, there’s usually a distinctive accent there.”

“Ah, they beat accents out of you in Law school,” she grinned as she surveyed him. “It’s not professional sounding apparently. Although it’s probably for the best, if I sounded anything like my mother I’d never be taken seriously in my field.”

Colton nodded, becoming more intrigued by the woman sitting beside him by the second. “So your parents came here from Greece,” he hadn’t meant for it to sound so much like a question but he was eager to hear more.

“My dad did, my mom was actually born in New York but my grandparents emigrated here from Italy so you can just imagine my mom’s accent,” she punctuated her answer with a laugh before continuing. “My Nonna is from Naples and my Nonno was born in Bologna. They met and got married in Italy and then emigrated here when they were in their early twenties, it was all very romantic. Nonno passed away a couple of years ago and Nonna took it pretty hard but she has my mom and aunts and uncles around to take care of her.”

“So your mom’s family-“

“Also massive,” Cassandra laughed. “I say that I came to St Louis for work but really it was for the peace and quiet.”

Colton chuckled with her at that, unable to even imagine the size of her combined family. He wondered if they’d ever all been together in the same room during Cassandra’s lifetime and whether it was as chaotic as he thought it might have been based on Cassandra’s words.

“So family gatherings must be pretty wild, huh?”

“Thankfully most of my dad’s family are all in Greece. My paternal grandparents are really old now so they don’t venture very far, let alone this far but my dad’s siblings have been to visit a couple of times and it’s always, um, interesting when mom’s family visit my parents while dad’s relatives are staying there and when I say ‘interesting’ I mean ‘loud’,” she grinned. “Everyone forgets regular social conventions like waiting for the other person to finish speaking before starting to speak themselves and the concept of an indoor voice.”

Colton let out a noise that was halfway between a laugh and a cough as he stopped the mouthful of coffee he’d just taken from reappearing out of his nose, Cassandra laughing along with him before she offered him an apology and a smile.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you inhale your drink there.”

“No,no, it’s okay,” he assured. “It was a good mental image, almost curious to see what that’s like.”

“Well, if you ever feel like subjecting yourself to a headache and my family is in town I’ll let you know,” Cassandra winked as a gentle laugh floated past her lips.

“I appreciate it,” Colton grinned in reply, although he couldn’t help the heat rising in his cheeks at the thought, which was an unusual response in itself, he thought, given that the woman sitting beside him was still really an acquaintance. He paused briefly as the light moment they’d shared settled between them, filling the space with a quietness that was by no means uncomfortable despite it being light-years away from their laughter not moments prior. There was a distinct curiosity there, a desire to know her in the way that friends know each other and it was a curiosity that Colton couldn’t trace the source of. She was his neighbour, yes and neighbours often knew a surface level of information about each other and their lives in a kind of shallow and superficial kind of way, and she’d been kind enough to invite him in for coffee, which was probably about as neighbourly as you could get but there was something else about their interactions that felt like more than being just neighbourly. There was a lightness to them, a playfulness that he couldn’t recall experiencing with any of his other neighbours and that curiosity, that need to keep talking to her and listen to her life story, her likes, her dislikes and everything in between, but he also didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, and so he opted to ask her about something safe, something she’d already offered to him in passing.

“You said you went to Law school? I know you probably get this all the time but you must be pretty smart.”

“Yeah, uh, NYU. Graduated a few years back, took the bar examination and then got a job at a decent firm in Manhattan. It’s just so competitive there, y’know? It felt like I couldn’t ever really get ahead no matter how hard I busted my ass because of just how cutthroat that whole scene is and I was sick to death of feeling like I had to prove myself in an old boy’s club just because I was a female in my mid-twenties with a foreign sounding surname so I thought I’d broaden my horizons a little bit. I looked up some reputable firms across the country, sent a few speculative letters and here I am.”

“I can’t even imagine what that’s like, having to jump over hurdles like that just because you’re a woman with a mixed heritage, like I guess I’ve always been aware of how my privilege has meant I’ve never really had to deal with stuff like that but I just can’t even… You’re one tough cookie, you know that?” Colton turned in his seat so that he was facing her better, his glass cradled within his hands.

“I guess you kind of have to be when you work in law, especially as a woman. I spend most of my days around guys who look for opportunities to turn any situation into a dick measuring competition and who look at you like you’re some incompetent newbie who’s only in that position to fulfil some sort of equality and diversity quota bullshit,” Cassandra sighed heavily, meeting Colton’s eyes as she continued. “Real talk? It feels like I lead a double life every single day. I go to work and it feels like I have to put on a persona just to prove that I belong at the table and that shit is fucking exhausting. That person I am when I’m at work? That’s not the real me but people will see that person and make judgments about her, y’know? They’ll say that I’m ‘difficult’ or that I’m ‘cold’ or ‘standoffish’ when in reality they create an environment that is so toxic for women that they force them to be someone they’re not just to get by.”

Cassandra inhaled deeply, filling her lungs back up with air after her mini-tirade had come out on a whoosh of a breath. She was wearing an almost sheepish look as she surveyed Colton, an apologetic smile gracing her lips before she spoke again.

“Sorry for the rant that you literally didn’t ask for or need.”

“Hey,” Colton replied sincerely. “You don’t need to apologise. Honestly? I’m just in awe that you’ve not let the bullshit stop you, most people would have thrown in the towel and peaced out.”

“It’s definitely better now that I’m not working in New York, like, I know it’s still very early days but all my colleagues are really nice and the few attorneys from other firms I’ve dealt with have all been really respectful. I don’t know, it just feels different here. Don’t get me wrong, I love my city, I love New York but I don’t miss the toxicity of working in practice there.”

“Was it hard? Leaving your family and stuff? I mean, it sounds like you’re all pretty close,” Colton asked.

“So hard,” Cassandra nodded solemnly. “Mom and dad were devastated. Their only daughter moving nearly a thousand miles away? God, I remember their faces when I told them. Mom cried, fuck, I didn’t think she was ever gonna stop.” She paused briefly and Colton felt her sigh settle all through his body as her dark eyes found his. “I don’t know how much you know about Greek and Italian culture but family is everything.”

“I don’t but I kind of know what it’s like,” he spoke softly, hoping that she would pick up on the reassurance he was trying to offer her. “Picking up and starting all over again? Leaving your family behind? I know what that’s like and sometimes, when the summer rolls around and my work is done for the year, I almost don’t wanna go back home because it’s hard. It’s hard to see all the things you’ve missed and it’s hard to leave it all behind again but I wouldn’t ever change that feeling because it’s good to know that you have something you miss that much.”

Cassandra took a few moments to let Colton’s words settle in her chest before asking quietly, “where is home?”

“Canada.”

“Wow, so you’re even further away from home than I am. God, I’m sorry. I invite you in for coffee and pleasant conversation and I turn this into a ‘woe is me’ pity party for myself.”

Cassandra looked down into her glass and Colton felt an unfamiliar pull in his chest. It was as if a cloud had passed in front of the sun and the light had dimmed and everything suddenly felt that little bit colder. He wasn’t sure why he all at once felt compelled to open himself up to her, usually being one for his own company and never extending the hand of close friendship to any of his neighbours before, but there was something about Cassandra and the way that she already felt like a ray of sunshine in his life. If there was a way for him to chase the clouds away, even for just a little while, Colton was going to make sure of it.

“Hey, Cassie?” he started, quickly correcting himself. “Um, can I call you Cassie?”

Cassie looked up from her glass to find him looking at her with a newfound softness and she was struck by how much he reminded her of her ancestral home with the rich, warm sand of his hair and the ocean harboured within his eyes. She smiled then and much like a passing cloud, the sun seemed to come back out with that small quirk of her lips.

“You can.”

Colton set his glass down on the table then and folded his hands together, looking at her with a gentleness that was reflected in his voice as he spoke. “I know I’m not always around. My job it- it takes me away quite a bit but I want you to know that you don’t have to feel like you’re alone here. I know how rough it can be starting over in a new city and if I can help or if you ever wanna just talk or hang out, I’m here for you. You can even have my number, if you want, y’know in case you wanna talk or anything while I’m out of town and I just, I want you to remember that it’s okay to feel homesick sometimes.”

Cassie nodded at that because more than his words and the candour with which he spoke, it was the sincerity in his eyes as he looked at her that made her believe him wholeheartedly.

 Colton’s offer of friendship was one that Cassie had taken him up on and it was a state of being that came naturally to the pair. Cassie had learned about Colton’s job as the number one defenceman for the St Louis Blues during their conversation on her patio and while hockey wasn’t a sport that she professed to be well versed in, she still enjoyed hearing about his training, the games and everything that came with it, and she’d been around the Rangers fans in her family long enough to know that he was pretty big deal given that he was a Stanley Cup Champion. Colton, on the other hand, found himself completely in awe of Cassie’s role as a complex litigation lawyer for one of St Louis’ most prestigious firms, especially knowing a little bit more about her struggles to be seen and work her way up the ladder and while he couldn’t profess to be au fait with how it all worked and what was involved in her line of work and the litigation process, he loved to hear about the cases she was working on and how her work helped others. But above those things, their jobs were ones that kept them both busy and it was during the quieter times, the times that would have had them both seeking the solace of their own company once upon a time, that they would seek out each other.

It had started as cups of coffee and quick catch-ups in the brief respites of their hectic schedules, but had soon evolved into making time for lunches and even dinners shared over bottles of wine, continuing long after Colton’s season had ended before finally pausing around mid-July when he would be heading back North to spend the rest of the summer with his family. It had worked out fortuitously though as Cassie’s caseload had multiplied seemingly overnight and she would find herself working longer days and spending more time at the office than her own home. Colton was concerned of course, as any friend would be, and he would check in often when he knew she was working late. It’s not that Colton thought that she shouldn’t be working more hours, understanding enough about her job and role to know that the final push before a big court date often meant extended working hours to get everything ready, but he wanted to make sure that she was taking care of herself and wasn’t putting herself at risk of burnout.

It was a late-August evening when Colton called at around 7:30, just as he had been doing for the last couple of weeks, knowing that Cass would usually be home from the office by that point with her being an hour ahead in Missouri, even with her later working hours recently. The line rang for a few seconds, longer than it usually took for Cassie to answer him and Colt wondered if he’d maybe caught her taking a shower or making dinner. She answered eventually though, a little breathless sounding and an almost forced calmness in her voice.

“Cassandra Constantinou.”

“Cassie? Hey, it’s Colton. Is uh- is everything okay? Is this a bad time?”

“Colt,” she breathed, voice softening immediately. “Hey. God is that the time already?”

She ran a hand through her dark hair as a tired exhale passed her lips which had Colton furrowing his brow at the other end of the line and while Cass couldn’t see the slight worry that rested on his features, she could hear it in his voice as he spoke.

“Are you alright? You never answer your phone with your full name.”

“Sorry,” she murmured, slumping back into her desk chair. “Still in work mode.”

“Wait, are you still at the office?”

“Yeah,” she grimaced as she took a sip of her long-cold cup of coffee. “The court date for that big case I’ve been working on is in two days and I just need to make sure I’ve got all my ducks in a row. Time got away from me a little bit tonight and I was already behind from putting metaphorical fires out earlier in the day.”

Colton sat up from where he had been laid on his bed, unable to keep the concern out of his voice despite the fact that he didn’t want to come across like he was being overbearing.

“Have you eaten?”

“Lately?” Cassandra replied.

“Cassie-“

“I had lunch around 12:15.”

“Cass, that was 8 hours ago,” Colton chided gently. “You gotta eat, πουλάκι μου.”

Cassandra paused her action of moving papers aimlessly around her desk, a grin sparking at her lips for the first time that day and catching like kindling until it had spread the full width of her face and all the way up to her eyes.

“Did you just- have you been googling Greek pet names, Colton Parayko?”

Her tone was light and bright and Colton could feel her smile through the phone, feel the way it crawled through his skin and settled in his bones like a welcome ray of sunshine on a cold day.

“I-I,” Colton was flushing beet red and he was thankful that Cassie couldn’t see him in this moment because the redness in his face was quickly spreading to the tops of his ears. “I’ve been trying to learn Greek.”

“Oh yeah?” Cassie grinned with equal parts mischief and glee, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her desk. “Look, if you wanna learn how to swear at guys on the other team, you might not wanna call them ‘my little bird’, you totally could’ve just asked me if you were wanting to learn some Greek phrases. I can teach you all the good insults.”

“That’s not,” Colton sighed in mild exasperation, although inwardly pleased that this had provided Cassie with a much needed distraction from the stress of her work. “I just wanted to surprise you.”

Cassie’s grin softened immediately and she didn’t miss the way her heart constricted ever so slightly either. Her tone shifted to something much gentler and a world away from her playful teasing not a moment ago.

“Well, consider me surprised.”

“You don’t mind, do you?” Colton asked after a pregnant pause.

“Not at all. I think it’s actually really sweet and thoughtful.”

A silence descended between the pair but it wasn’t one that was uncomfortable, instead it allowed the seed that had been buried deep in Cassie’s chest since the day Colton had gone back to Canada to sprout and it was in that moment that she found herself really missing him. She missed him for a lot of reasons, some she could rattle off like how he looked out for her and made sure that she was taking care of herself, and others she wouldn’t understand fully until later. It was as if Colton could hear that quiet call of her heart in that moment where she found herself wishing that he was back in St Louis because he broke the silence with the words Cass had been longing to hear for weeks.

“So I’m coming back at the end of next week and I was hoping you would be free to hang out.”

“That would be amazing,” Cassie’s voice was rich through the phone with her smile and Colton couldn’t help the slight flutter in his chest when he thought about how pretty she looked when she smiled in the way he was imagining her to be.

“Yeah? I figured I’d come back a couple of weeks early before training camp because… well because I’ve really missed hanging out with you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Colt.”

Colton didn’t miss Cassie’s choice of words and had to fight to resist the urge to analyse them for anything other than what they were. She said it though, not just that she missed hanging out with him, but that she missed him and she had meant it too. She had missed him, more than she thought she ever would and maybe more than friends should miss friends, and despite it being the height of summer, Cass felt like she’d been living under a grey cloud since Colton had left for Canada. It should have rattled her with how easy it had been for Colton to become a part of her life, especially when she had been so used to her own company. It had been the same since she graduated law school – she would work, often long hours as was expected of new associates trying to find their footing in a firm, she would come home tired, she would eat, shower and sleep before getting up and doing it all over again. Any free time was spent either catching up on all the things she didn’t have time to do during her working week or with her family, knowing her parents and grandmother well enough to know that if she didn’t surface frequently there would be a freak-out of epic proportions. Since moving to St Louis though? Cass’s life had changed completely and in ways she never thought possible.

Work was still stressful, yes, but for the first time in a long time she felt valued and appreciated and she was on course for partnership if things kept going the way they were; but more than that, she felt a sense of fulfilment that extended beyond her career. Being friends with Colt was easy and it was as if the two of them had an unspoken mutual understanding of what they needed from each other and their friendship. Cassie understood the pressures of Colton’s job, just as he understood the stresses of hers and it was that awareness of each other and their lives that had allowed their friendship to blossom so easily. That time spent with each other, whether on Cassie’s back patio or curled up on Colton’s couch, was what they both needed to re-center and reset. Sure, they would talk about work but it was always kept brief because neither felt the need to discuss it in great detail, they both knew what it was like for them and they both knew that their time together was an escape from all of that. Some nights they’d sit in companionable silence with nothing more than soft music in the background, others they would talk and talk about everything and anything. But as the weeks had progressed, they found themselves saying goodnight to each other later and later and that hint of reluctance would creep in in the form of a too-long hug or a lingering look. It felt natural though, and good and right, and so it was incredibly easy to make firm plans for when Colton came back to the city.

The end of the work week brought about a successful conclusion to the case that had consumed so much of Cassie’s time and with the resolution that she’d worked so hard for came vast amounts of praise from her bosses and a lighter work load the following week. They’d even gone so far as giving Cassie the Friday off for her efforts but there were a couple of loose ends that needed tying up and so, despite their gentle protests and their best efforts to get her to stay home, Cassie found herself at her desk that Friday morning. As lunchtime approached and all loose ends were sufficiently tied, Cass turned her computer off for the final time that week and said her goodbyes as she headed out of the office. She’d use the afternoon to spruce her house ready for Colton coming over once he was back from the airport and she’d resolved to give her parents a quick Skype after receiving a string of text messages from her mother, with the last one being a threat to fly down to St Louis if she didn’t hear from her soon.

The baking late-August heat had Cass tearing off her pencil skirt and blouse no sooner had she stepped into her house. She cursed as she hopped down the hallway in her heeled pumps, the grey fabric of her skirt bunched around her knees while her clammy hands fumbled with the tiny buttons on the crepe silk blouse.

“Γαμώτο!” she exclaimed as she came dangerously close to slipping on the rug in her hallway and face-planting the floor. “ηλίθιο χαλί.”

She kicked off the shoes that had almost been successful in making her the proud owner of a broken neck and pulled her skirt down her calves, stepping out of it before pulling her half unbuttoned blouse over her head and tossing the discarded clothing into the hamper in the laundry room. She rooted through the shamefully full basket of clean clothing that sat upon the counter top until she found the loose cotton maxi-dress she was looking for.

After indulging in a cool glass of ice-tea, Cass set about tidying the house - not that there was much to do, but growing up in a family full of house-proud women meant that not a single cushion could be out of place if company was coming over, especially if that company was of the male variety (not that she’d ever share that bit of information with her mother). After all, as her Nonna Gioia would say: “a ogni uccello il suo nido è bello,” and even Cassie could appreciate that a beautiful nest was indeed a tidy nest.

It was close to 3pm by the time Cassie settled down on her couch with her laptop, the temperature inside the house much more comfortable with the whisper of a breeze coming through the wide-open patio door. She balanced her computer on the arm of the sofa as she started the Skype call to her parents, her mother’s voice the first thing she heard, even before the video had loaded and before Cass had the chance to say ‘hello’.

“Mamma mia, Cassandra! We thought you’d dropped off the face of the earth!”

“Hi, mom,” Cass smirked. “How’re you?”

“Not funny, il mio passerotta.”

Cassie watched as her mother inched closer to the screen with narrowed eyes, already expecting the next words that came out of her mouth.

“You’re looking thin in the face. Are you eating? Are you sick?”

“No, mama, I’m not sick and yes, I’m eating,” Cassandra replied with as much conviction as she could muster in order to appease her mother, her effort falling short with her mother’s next line of questioning.

“What are you eating?”

“Giovanna,“ Cassie’s father interrupted.

“Look at her, Hector! She’s all skin and bone! Don’t you want to know what she’s been eating? She could be living off celery for all we know! When was the last time you had a proper meal? You’re not doing one of those ridiculous diets are you? They’re no good for you, Cassandra, there’s nothing wrong with a woman having a bit of meat on her bones.”

“I’m fine, mama,” Cassie sighed, keen to steer the conversation away from herself. “How is everyone? Nonna okay?”

“Yes, yes, we’re all fine here. You should call your Nonna though, she misses that pretty face of yours.”

“I’ll call her tomorrow and arrange to Skype next weekend, give her chance to get someone to set things up for her.”

Conversation quickly turned to the family happenings back in New York, much to Cass’s relief. Her father had been incredibly busy with work, she’d learned and he’d finally got around to buying himself a new record player after Cass had spent the better part of four months trying to convince him that there was no salvaging the old one. After half an hour or so of catching up, Cass felt a mild sense of relief wash over her at the sudden realisation that she’d managed to get through any amount of time talking to her parents without the subject of her love-life being brought up.

“Oh, your cousin Antonio had a date with a very lovely girl last week. She’s a hairdresser, such a good girl.”

Ah, fuck.

“Really, mama?” Cass said indifferently, praying to whoever was listening that she wouldn’t follow that up with anything. “Good for him.”

“You know,” her father began, looking over his glasses at her. “If you didn’t work so much then maybe you’d have time to find yourself a man.”

“Baba,” Cass warned gently.

“Your father’s right, Cassandra,” Giovanna gently scolded. “You’re a beautiful girl, why haven’t you found a nice boy yet? You’re too young to be a spinster.”

“Exactly, mama,” Cassandra replied calmly. “I’m too young to be a spinster. I’m working hard to get where I want to be in my career. There’s plenty of time for all the other stuff. Didn’t you tell me to work hard at my job and do well for myself?”

“Well, yes, but I don’t want to be an old Nonna. I want to be able to run after my grandbabies and I’m not getting any younger.”

Cassandra opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of her front door opening and then closing with a soft click.

“Cass?”

Cassandra’s face flashed with a gentle confusion as she checked the watch on her wrist before contorting into mild horror at the sound of Colton calling her name again, louder this time – loud enough that it carried through the microphone and out through the speakers of her parents’ computer judging by the gleeful expression on their faces.

“Is that a man?” her mother said excitedly. “I heard a man’s voice. Who is he? Why is he letting himself into your house? Is he your boyfriend?! Why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend?!”

Colton appeared in the living room, a sheepish look on his face as he spoke.

“Sorry, is this a bad time? I caught an earlier flight and wanted to surprise you.”

“Cassandra Giulia Constantinou, you’d better answer me this second!”

Cass winced at her mother’s voice and threw Colton a glance that she hoped would tell him to run far, far away before her parents started making demands that would make Colton want the ground to swallow him up, demands that she was sure would make their friendship incredibly awkward.

“Bring him in,” her father asserted. “Let me get a good look at him, make sure he’s good enough for you.”

“Baba,” that warning tone was back in Cassandra’s tone and there was a look in her eyes that Colton found adorable but knew better than to make a comment describing it as such.

Whether or not his next move was against his better judgment would remain to be seen but Colton found himself coming deeper into the living room and sitting down on the couch next to Cass, Giovanna audibly gasping as he did so while Hector removed his glasses and surveyed the large man sitting next to his daughter.

“He’s very pale, does he not go outside? Is he sick?” Hector remarked. “It doesn’t snow in St Louis, does it? You’d lose him in a blizzard.”

“Ooooh, Cassandra. Isn’t he tall? And so broad!”

Cassie gave Colton, who had turned an interesting shade of crimson she’d never before seen, an apologetic smile before turning her attention back to her parents.

“Okay, could we try maybe not weirding my friend out? ‘kay, thanks and Jesus Christ, dad, you can’t just say stuff like that to people, I don’t even know where to start with how inappropriate that is.”

“I thought my tan was pretty good this year,” Colton muttered loudly enough that only Cassandra heard him and she had to fight with every bit of self-restraint she had to keep a straight face.

“So, young man,” Hector was speaking again; those eyes that were so remarkably like Cassandra’s were keen on Colton and Cass knew that she wasn’t going to like what was about to come out of her father’s mouth. “What is it that you do? Cassandra is a very bright girl and she shouldn’t be settling for just anybody. She deserves only the very best. Tell me why you think you’re good enough to date my daughter-“

“Okay, that’s it,” Cassandra interrupted, her tone sharper than Colton had ever heard it before. “αυτό είναι απαράδεκτο. δεν τον ανακρίνεις έτσι! είναι φίλος μου και είσαι πολύ αγενής!”

“Cassandra,” her father tried but he was immediately cut off by her once more.

“είμαστε φίλοι και τίποτα άλλο. σταμάτα να με πιέζεις να παντρευτώ” Cassandra paused for a second, as if to catch her breath from whatever tirade she’d given her parents that Colton could only begin to imagine before she spoke again, in English this time. “Now, if you don’t mind, Colton here has just got home from travelling and we have plans. I’ll call you again on Sunday.”

Whatever Cass had said to them must have worked, Colton thought, because their responses were much more subdued and they said their goodbyes rather quickly, Cassie closing her laptop with more force than was necessary and with a long exhale of breath that flared her nostrils.

“I am so sorry,” she started, her eyes apologetic as she surveyed him with a slight crease in her brow that made Colton’s heart tug in his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. I shoulda-“ he rubbed his large hand over the back of his neck as he spoke softly. “I shoulda called ahead or something. Or knocked. Literally could’ve done a thousand things differently. Sorry for putting you in a spot there.”

“No, no, you’re fine. It’s just them. They mean well but fuck.”

Colton reached across and squeezed her hand gently, the touch managing to warm Cassie’s skin even on a day as hot as that one.

“Y’know,” he began, his tone light with a hint of teasing. “You’re terrifying when you’re pissed and start talking in Greek.”

He grinned as Cassie barked out a laugh, her head thrown back in that carefree way that made his stomach do backflips and her dark eyes sparkled behind her long lashes as she looked at him with a beaming smile, the annoyance that had rested on her features melting away into nothingness.

“Yeah? You’d do well to remember that, Parayko.”

“I wouldn’t dream of fighting you,” he quipped. “You’d kick my ass.”

There was a pregnant pause before Colton spoke again, unsure whether or not to say the words that sat heavily on the tip of his tongue. It was the gentle look in Cassie’s eyes, the smile that still graced her lips as she surveyed him easily and the way her thumb had taken to absentmindedly stroking the back of his hand that spurred him on, sure as he was that he could always be candid with her.

“What um, what did you say to them? I’ve never seen two grown adults look so timid after a telling off.”

Cassie chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, chewing over the words in her mind before she spoke them quietly, her eyes resting on Colton’s hand in hers.

“They just have this thing about me settling down and I get it, I’m their only child, I’m approaching thirty and they want grandkids. Remember how I said that family was really important to Greeks and Italians?”

Colton nodded, his eyes soft on her while he waited for her to continue.

“And every time we talk it’s ‘your cousin is seeing this girl’ or ‘the oldest Maloney girl is pregnant, isn’t that nice?’ and it is nice, it is, like, good for them, y’know? And I know my parents wanted a big family and I can’t even imagine how that must have felt, being told after the birth of your first child that she’d be your only child when they had all these plans to have lots of babies and have a big family. I want to make them happy and give them the grandkids they’d always dreamed they’d have, I do, but I’m not there yet, maybe sometime in the future but it has to be right. It has to be.”

She paused then, the rich earth of her eyes finding the summer skies of his and felt a flicker of a flame stir within her chest at how easy it was to just be like this with him, to be open and honest without fear of him somehow using that vulnerability against her. It was liberating and terrifying and everything Cassandra ever dreamed it would be when she eventually found someone she was comfortable sharing this part of her life with, that vulnerability and intimacy that was often so hard to show because of her line of work. But Colton was good and sweet with a pure heart and purer intentions and so she didn’t need to think twice about sharing this part of herself and what she’d said to her parents with him.

“I told them that they were out of line, that they can’t interrogate you like that and that their behaviour was incredibly rude. I told them that we were just friends and that they needed to stop pushing me to get married.”

Cassandra could’ve sworn that Colton’s expression had deflated slightly at the mention of their relationship status but before she’d even had the chance to process it, Colton had fixed his features back to the easy and gentle expression he usually wore around her.

“They just really care about you, y’know?” Colton said quietly after a brief moment of silence. “They want you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” Cassandra assured and Colton couldn’t help but wonder if the conviction in her voice was for his or her own benefit. “I am. Moving here has been the best thing. Work is awesome, I have a house that I could only have ever dreamed of being able to afford in New York.” She paused again, making sure that she had Colton’s eyes on her before she dropped the volume of her voice to just above a whisper, “and I met you. How could I not be happy?”

Colton smiled, not big and bright, but soft and warm and filled with a tenderness that teetered on the edge of crossing the line of friendship. Here in front of him was someone he would have never imagined would become a good friend in the relatively short time they’d known each other, his best friend in fact and now that she was here, in his life and in his heart, he wondered how he’d ever lived a life without her because with Cassandra, nothing was ever forced and she gave him a strange feeling of freedom that he’d never had before. It was that kind of ease that makes the stresses of life fall away and whenever he was with her it felt like they could be the only two people on earth. She knew when he was struggling with the stresses of his job without him ever needing to say it out loud, just like he would know when she was under pressure with her own work but more than any words of encouragement they could give to each other to alleviate the stresses and burdens of life, it was that peaceful, secure feeling between them, that came so effortlessly, that pulled them towards each other like planets to a sun. It was then, in that moment, that Colton began to understand that maybe home wasn’t a place at all, it was a feeling. It was something that you miss when you’re without it and Colton could say with completely certainty that he’d missed Cassie.

Cassie and Colton would see each other almost every day over the course of weeks that followed. Even with the start of training camp, Colton found himself home every evening and Cassie’s work schedule had eased somewhat, meaning that she was often escaping the office at 5:30 on the dot. They would spend those precious few hours before sleep called them to their respective beds together, talking over dinner with a bottle of wine open between them before eventually retiring to the couch. Sometimes they’d find themselves talking all night, with the TV in the background forgotten about, others they’d watch something easy together (which led to Colton discovering that he really enjoyed Bake Off, much to Cassie’s delight) but their favourite nights together, or at least for Colton anyway, were the nights where they would share their favourite music with each other. Colton had admittedly not been much of a music enthusiast. Sure, he enjoyed listening to it just as much as the next person, but he would be the first person to confess that his listening never really extended beyond the radio. The same couldn’t be said for Cassie.

Much like her father, Cassie was the proud owner of an old record player that had been lovingly refurbished. If asked about it, she’d preface her love of the item by saying that it was probably the most extravagant purchase she’d ever made, but she would also make no hesitation in saying that there was just something about listening to Etta James or Billie Holliday on vinyl that digital versions just couldn’t hold a candle to. Colton loved that Cassie’s music preferences had been influenced by her family, he loved hearing about how her father had fallen in love with Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin when he first came to America at the tender age of 21, he loved hearing about how Cass’s father would purchase a new vinyl with every pay-check, something that had started when he first started earning money as a carpenter and handyman and still continued to this day. He loved how Cass could recall, with complete clarity, the way she would sit on the rug in front of the record player as a child while she watched her father unwrap the vinyl, filled with both excitement and anticipation at what wonderful music was held on the black disc in his hands. Colton learned that music had been such a prominent and important part of her childhood, whether it was listening to her father’s music collection with him and telling him about new artists to try or weekends spent at her Nonna and Nonno’s house filled with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. All of those songs had touched her life in some way and with each story Colton couldn’t help but feel thankful and grateful to see inside the heart that brought him such peace and happiness without even realising.

All too soon though, the season had started once more and once again Colton found himself on the road. This time it felt different though. Instead of the usual indifference he would feel about being away from the comforts of home, he felt an ache that had started in his chest and settled all through his bones. It wasn’t homesickness, at least not in the traditional sense of the word, because it wasn’t his house that Colton missed, it was the person that made him feel like he was home. It was the person who had taken the time to make him a Spotify playlist to listen to while he was travelling, that playlist that he couldn’t help but have on repeat because during those moments that the music filled his ears and filled his soul like sand in an hourglass, he was back in St Louis on her patio with her, drinking wine and laughing together with that same music filtering through the sliding doors. It was easy, in those moments where he would be on the plane with his headphones and that playlist on, to close his eyes and imagine the way her rich laughter crawls all the way through his skin and warms his heart like a shot of whisky on a winter’s day.

Cassie hadn’t really noticed just how much a part of her life Colton was until his schedule was pulling him out of the city and she found herself alone again during the evenings. She also found herself, in those moments, picking up the television remote and tuning in to Blues games, even going so far as reaching out to her cousins back in New York to pick their brains about the finer details of hockey, citing her sudden interest in the sport as a new hobby on account of her not wanting to throw Colton into the lion’s den. She’d made sure to test her newfound knowledge on Colton during their phone calls while he was away (which impressed him to no end) and had made a promise to come and watch him play his next game at Enterprise Center. It was that promise that had Colton wrapping up a blue jersey, with his name and number on, in pretty floral paper, going so far as adding a length of ribbon tied in a little bow on top, even if it did look a little droopy by virtue of his large hands and less than nimble fingers.

Colton was tired. A tough stretch of road-games had his body aching in ways that would ordinarily have him crawling into bed and not resurfacing until practice obligations demanded it, but it’d been almost a week since he’d seen Cassie and the promise of her company, a home-cooked meal and all the wine he could manage was something he wouldn’t dream of resisting. He had taken a quick shower once getting home before changing into a pair of jeans and a soft-knit sweater, making sure to grab the wrapped jersey and the small bouquet of flowers he’d picked up on his way back from the airport. He was a little early but he’d learned from experience that Cassie wouldn’t mind. He would simply make sure that she had a full wine glass and offer to help in the kitchen.

He let himself in as normal, the beautiful smell of rich tomatoes and herbs hitting him immediately and sparking a wide smile on his face. He didn’t speak immediately, the volume of the music she had on loud enough for him to know she wouldn’t hear him, but instead slipped off his sneakers and moved further into the house.

“Hai usato capperi?”

The voice that came from the kitchen belonged to an older woman and Colton found himself wondering if he’d missed something during his earlier conversation with Cass. He was sure she hadn’t mentioned having extra company but he had been picking up flowers for her at the time and it was entirely possible that he could have missed that small detail in the process.

“Non è una vera puttanesca se non usi i capperi. Me lo hai insegnato tu.”

Colton paused in the archway, his eyes falling to Cassie in the kitchen while his heart swelled to ten times its normal size at the sight in front of him. There was no one else there with her, only her iPad on a stand resting on top of the counter. It took a moment for Colton to realise that the voice was in fact coming from the device when he heard the older woman begin to speak again.

“Dimmi di più su questo ragazzo che ti piace”

Cassie laughed at whatever the older woman had said before replying, “Ti ho già parlato di lui, nonna.”

‘Ah,’ Colton thought. ‘This is the word famous Nonna.”

“Bene, dimmelo di nuovo!’ her grandmother chuckled. ‘Sono una vecchia signora e la mia memoria è terribile”.

If you asked him about this particular night at a later date, Colton wasn’t entirely sure how long he had stood there listening to Cassandra talk with her grandmother while her hands worked the pasta dough she had been making, but he would tell you that it was long enough for him realise what had been in his heart for a while. Because somewhere in between Cassie talking and laughing with her grandmother and their spirited rendition of the number he recognised as being Dean Martin that was playing loud enough through Cassie’s record player for her Nonna to hear, Colton understood what that recent feeling of homesickness had been. It wasn’t homesickness at all, it was love.

He wasn’t sure why the sight of Cass kneading pasta dough while Facetiming her grandma had made the penny suddenly drop for him. Perhaps it was the fact he could feel every bit of the love that this girl had for her Nonna, much like the love she had for every member of her family. Perhaps it was the fact that she had taken time out of her day to spend time listening to old jazz records with her grandmother just like she had when she was a child. Perhaps it was the fact that the woman in front of him was beautiful and intelligent and so unbelievably kind. But the truth and reality of it was that it was all of those things and above everything else, it was the peace and sense of belonging he felt whenever he was with her. It was having someone to be proud of and be proud of him in return and it was having someone to miss, having someone in his life who makes saying goodbye so hard. Cassie was all of those things and deep down Colton knew that he was those things for her too.

His feet must have heard the call from his heart that his head had not because before he could catch himself he was right behind her with his hand on her lower back, gentle and soft. She jumped slightly at the contact, not expecting him to be in her house for another twenty minutes.

“Sorry,” he laughed quietly before pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. “I figured I’d come over early and help but this all looks a little out of my ability range.”

“Guests don’t help the cook. Guests sit at the island, drink alcohol and mock those who are doing the cooking. Those are the rules” she grinned in reply.

“Mamma mia, Cassandra, cioè un bel giovanotto!”

Colton wasn’t entirely sure what Cassandra’s grandmother had said but whatever it was had Cassie groaning slightly and, unbeknownst to him, her face burning white hot.

“OK, ora riattacco il telefono,” Cassie groaned causing her Nonna to cackle wildly.

“Dagli un bacio per me!”

“Sei una cattiva signora,” Cassandra grinned before the pair said their goodbyes and she was closing the case on her iPad.

Cassie’s attention then turned to Colton who was leaning casually against the counter with an easy grin playing on his lips.

“So that was Nonna?” he asked.

“Yeah, that was Nonna,” Cassied laughed softly. “She was just checking in to make sure I wasn’t desecrating her spaghetti alla puttanesca recipe.”

“And were you?”

“Are you nuts? Do you know how angry Italians get when you don’t make their recipes properly? You might as well set fire to the flag.”

Colton barked a laugh at that, an impish little smirk on his face as he asked, “So cream in a carbonara would be a ‘no’?”

Cassie’s hands, which were rolling the dough ready for the pasta machine, stopped dead in their tracks, a look of abject horror on her face as she looked at Colton.

“Don’t even joke.”

“That’s one for the book then,” Colton grinned, referring to the little notebook sitting on his kitchen countertop that held all of his little tips and reminders he’d learned when it came to cooking, which Cassie found to be both hilarious and endearing in equal measure. “So your Nonna is okay?”

“Yeah,” Cass replied as she fed the pasta dough through the machine. “She said you were very handsome which is high praise indeed because unless it’s Dean Martin, Nonna doesn’t wanna know.”

Colton chuckled as he pushed away from the counter to fix them both a glass of wine.

“Your Nonna has good taste,” he smirked as he set Cassie’s full glass down beside her. “And what about you? Do you think I’m handsome?”

Cassie’s only reply was to suck air in through her teeth before giggling mischievously at the mock hurt on Colton’s face while his hand clutched at his chest.

“You’re wicked, you know that?”

“I get that from my Nonna too,” she laughed.

With Colton’s help, dinner was promptly served and Cassie asked Colton all about his recent trip while they ate. The first bottle of Barbera was soon empty and the pair were well on their way with the second one by the time their plates were clean of their food. Colton insisted on clearing the dishes away and loading them into the dishwasher, despite Cassie’s protests and soon enough they were both curled up on her couch with the glass pyrex dish Cass had used to make her tiramisu in and two spoons. The rest of the evening was spent in easy conversation, Cassie pressed into Colton’s side while his arm wrapped around her shoulders and held her against him. He couldn’t help the way his nose found the soft chocolate strands of her hair where her head rested heavily on his shoulder. They had been sitting in companionable silence for a while, with nothing but the smooth voice of Norah Jones filling the space between them but neither felt the need to speak, not because they didn’t have anything to say, but because there were no words that needed to be spoken, both content to just be there in that moment together.

That’s how it had been all along though, Cassandra thought as she listened to the steady beat of Colton’s heart beneath his strong chest. They had always been comfortable with just basking in the presence of each other, where nothing was forced or artificial. Every part of their relationship, from the moment Colton came to her rescue on the morning of her first day at work, to being in this moment with him now, felt natural and organic. It was easy to let him in and easier to open her heart and her life up to him and it was a trust that Colton gave back to her in spades. Cassie wasn’t sure if she really knew what love was, not having much of a positive experience of it herself and only having her parents’ and grandparents’ relationships to go off, but she believed that it had to be something just like this.

She wasn’t sure at what point she’d fallen asleep and she certainly wasn’t sure at what point she’d laid down with her head in his lap, but it was Colton’s gentle voice and the feeling of his fingers lightly carding through her hair that pulled her from the dream she was having, the memory of it slipping quickly away from her as she passed into the waking world.

“Cass? It’s almost midnight, πουλάκι μου… I gotta head home.”

He smiled softly as Cassie groaned while her eyes fluttered open slowly.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” she mumbled, the last little remnants of sleep still clinging to her voice.

“It’s okay, babe. I wish I didn’t have to go but I have some stuff that I need to do in the morning before practice.”

“Yeah,” Cass croaked as she sat up and moved so that Colton could stand. “Yeah, of course.”

She followed him out of the living area and down the hall to the front door, her eyes drifting immediately to the small bouquet of flowers and gift-wrapped package that sat on her console table.

“Colt?”

Colton followed her gaze to the gifts he’d brought with him.

“Ah shit, I completely forgot I’d even brought these. I heard voices when I let myself in and I guess I just got distracted.”

“You bought me flowers?” she asked as she picked the blooms up, smiling softly at the spray of freesias, peonies and baby’s breath before picking up the wrapped gift. “And what’s this?”

“Just a little something for when you come to the game,” Colton grinned as he slipped on his shoes before turning to face Cassie.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” Colton said softly, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “But I wanted to.”

There was a brief pause before Colton leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to Cassie’s cheek, his smile warm and gentle as he pulled back and with a tone to match while he spoke.

“If you’re home tomorrow afternoon I’ll come over with coffee and pastries after practice.”

With Cassie’s agreement plans were made for the following day and Colton said his goodnight before heading back home, already missing her despite only being next door. As Colton got himself ready for bed he let himself think about Cass and the way he felt whenever he was with her. She gave him the safe space to just be and that was something Colton wasn’t sure he would ever have the words to thank her for. He’d dated enough since going professional to know that not all women were genuine and that in itself made it hard for him to find a meaningful connection, but things were different with Cassie. She had her own life, was successful in her own right and didn’t care about who he was or what he did for a living. Instead, she was supportive and listened to what he was telling her, really telling her, and she always seemed to know what to say and, most importantly, when to say it because for all Colton was always open to hear someone else’s perspective, there were times where he just needed to he heard.

Cassie not only gave him that but so many other things too. She was bright and witty, thoughtful and patient, kind and generous but above all of her wonderful qualities, she’d been an incredible friend to Colton. That friendship was one that he cherished and he knew it was something she cherished too, but rather than be rattled by the idea of that friendship potentially becoming something else, Colton embraced it because it was only what he knew to already be true between them. Their friendship had laid the foundations for them to build something truly wonderful and Colton knew that he was ready to take that leap, but more importantly, he knew that he’d be taking that leap with an amazing woman by his side, and so, as he climbed into bed and settled his head against the pillow, he resolved to tell her his truth when he saw her the following afternoon.

It was a little after 2pm when Cassie opened the door to Colton, the promised coffee and pastries clutched in his hands which she gratefully took from him as she invited him inside. She arranged the baked goods on a plate while Colton poured their coffees into mugs and shortly after they were settled on Cassie’s couch with her sat cross legged facing him and her back against the arm.

“How was practice this morning?” she asked after swallowing her first sip of coffee, a gentle look on her face as she surveyed Colton.

“Yeah, it was good. Coach worked us hard but it wasn’t too bad.”

“Good,” Cassie hummed from behind her mug, eyes narrowing slightly at the way Colton was cradling his mug with his brow slightly furrowed. “Is everything okay with you? You seem a little distracted.”

“I um, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Colton replied as he set his mug down on the coffee table and turned his body to face her better. “About last night.”

Cassie set her own mug down, giving Colton her complete and undivided attention. She didn’t say anything else, instead giving him the time and space to get his thoughts in order and say what he needed to say.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever really told you just how thankful I am to have you in my life.”

“You might have mentioned it once or twice, yeah,” Cassie grinned, causing Colton to laugh softly and some of that tension he was carrying in his shoulders to melt away.

“Well I am,” he replied, tone filled with sincerity. “But I’ve been feeling like something has changed between us and I think it started not long after I’d gone home to Canada.”

Cassie exhaled and chewed on her lower lip slowly, not entirely sure where he was going with this but unable to stop the little pit of dread from opening up in her stomach. She didn’t speak though and so Colton continued.

“I missed you, more than words can say really and while I loved going home and seeing my family, there was a big part of me that couldn’t wait to get back to St Louis and for no other reason than because you were in St Louis and I realised then, that home is wherever it is that you are. Then last night, coming in here and seeing you talking and laughing with your Nonna, God, you’ve never been more perfect to me because all I could see was that love and passion that you have for your family and fuck, Cass, I wanna be a part of that. I want to be a part of your world. We’ve not been just friends for a while and I know that it’s because I’ve loved you for a while, last night just kind of confirmed to me what I already knew deep down.”

“Are you done?” Cassie asked with a straight face and Colton looked at her a little stunned before nodding apprehensively.

It took precisely 1.7 seconds for Cassie to close the distance between her and Colton and crash her lips against his, and another .5 of a second for Colton to catch up and move his hand to cup the back of her head while he kissed her back. They stayed that way for a few moments, their lips moving slowly together in perfect harmony as Cassie manoeuvred herself into Colton’s lap while her fingers busied themselves in his hair, long-overdue for a haircut but Cass found to be a look that suited him along with the short beard he’d grown.

She pulled away only once her lungs had begun their gentle protest for breath before pressing another, quicker kiss to his lips, Colton’s brow quirking as she devolved into giggles.

“What’s tickled you?”

“Nothing,” she grinned. “Just that second one was from Nonna. She told me to give you one from her.”

Colton couldn’t help but laugh at that and found himself wearing a grin to match Cassie’s, still smiling even as their lips met once more.

“God, I can’t wait to meet her, all of your family, actually.”

“You, Colton Parayko, are either incredibly brave or certifiably insane,” Cassie teased as she carded her fingers through his hair, the smile still bright on her face. “It’s a lot, you think you can handle it?”

“I know I can,” he replied, all cocky and confident with a sparkle in his eyes that reminded Cassie of the way the sun kisses the Mediterranean on a summer’s day.

“Good,” she grinned with that bright and beautiful smile that Colton loved so much. “Because one of the perks of loving me is that you inherit a weird, obnoxious family who will drive you completely crazy but who are the most generous and wonderful people you will ever meet.”

“I do love you,” Colton said, his tone soft and a million miles away from what it was not a moment ago. “And I want this, I want you and everything that comes with that because this? Us? It’s perfect and it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Cassie kissed him, slow and sure and soft while her hands moved from their home in his hair to cup his face while her thumbs swept along the scruff at his jaw. It was a featherlight, her touch, but Colton felt it spread all through his skin until it had filled every single corner of his body and had him feeling both grounded and weightless all at once. He pulled back a shade to look into her eyes, those brown eyes of hers that held all the warmth of an everlasting hearth, as if they were the wood that could burn with golden flames and yet be forever perfectly entire. In those earthly hues was his soul, those eyes that were filled to the brim with the kind of beauty that expands a moment into a personal eternity, a heaven he wished to always be a part of. So lost in that astral plain as he was, he almost missed her words, but they were the kind of words that go beyond hearing. They were words that he felt, in the way that she looked at him, in the way that she touched him and in the way that she spoke his name and hearing them said out loud only confirmed what they both felt in their hearts and in their souls.

“I love you too, Colt.”

Colton couldn’t help the smile on his face as he connected his lips with hers once more, sighing into their kiss. That feeling was there again, that feeling that had been there all along, that peaceful, easy feeling of being at home and while neither of them knew for certain what the future would bring, they knew that they would be okay while they always had each other. Neither Cassie nor Colton had ever really experienced what it was like to be in complete and irrevocable love, but somewhere deep inside of them, despite not really knowing what it was that they should have been looking for, they knew that it was something just like this.

[suchalonelysunflower]

The Next Chapter (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood X Reader

Requested: yes!

Summary: A family gathering has you and Calum thinking about the future

Warnings: Fluff. I used the word vagina once. Maybe some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, sorry)

Word Count: 1.7K

Author’s Note: Loving these request 🥺❤️ a little fluffy piece for my favorite boy ✨ Remember that Reblogs, comments, feedback and likes are very important and appreciated ❤️ I love to hear from you guys and you don’t know how much that helps me and motivates me! Hope you like it and Happy Reading🦋✨🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Anon: omg can you do one ab asking if cal wants to start a family

“Babe! Hurry we are going to be late!”

You were standing at the front door, looking inside of your bag in case you have forgotten anything.

“Y/N, you do know I went to the bathroom five minutes before you were done getting ready, right?” Your husband, Calum, said as he walked up to you.

You had to admit, you married the hottest guy on the planet. How can someone make a pair of jeans with a simple white shirt look so good?!

“But I still beat you at the door, didn’t I?” You asked with a grin that Calum easily reciprocated.

“That you did” He smiled, placing one hand at your side, kissing your template, and whispering in your ear “But that doesn’t mean you can beat me at the car” And with that, he started sprinting towards the driver’s seat.

It amazes you how after almost 7 years of relationship you never got over the honeymoon phase. You have met Calum when both of you were young, reckless, and stupid; and not looking for a relationship. But it only took one look at those brown eyes and you were hooked.

You still remember how he came to you with a lame excuse to talk to you at one of the many parties you used to crash with your best friends.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” He said, and you almost thought he discovered you and was going to call security “I’m pretty sure god will wonder where all of their angels went”

He quickly apologized once he realized the words that fell out of his mouth, but you just stood there giggling at this cute attempt of flirting. And, as they say, the rest was history.

The next couple of years came and went and it almost seemed like you were in some kind of an alternate reality where everything played out as it was supposed to. Yes, of course, there were rocky times, especially when distance came to play, but all those times just made your relationship stronger.

Neither of you knew why, but being together just felt right. Which ultimately came to him proposing one eventful night in August after visiting his parents in Australia. And that then leads to your wedding just a few months later, you still recall that as one of the happiest moments of your life.

That was 3 years ago, and you were proud to say that you got to marry your best friend. Every day felt like a never-ending slumber party with new adventures and dreams to fulfill. And you wouldn’t change it for the world.

You were thinking about it as of now, looking at Calum with a smile as he drove to your cousin’s place to celebrate the birthday of the newest addition to the family: your baby niece.

Going to these kinds of parties became pretty regular for you, given that you came from a really big family and all your cousins were almost the same age as you, so they started popping babies out like it was nothing! And you were so thankful Calum was always happy to come along “I love your family, Angel!” He said “And you have to give it to them, they know how to throw a party”

It was true. If there is something your family doesn’t take lightly is parties. You still get a headache every time you remember the stress of convincing them to do something lowkey for your wedding. And as you parked outside your cousin’s house you wonder how you actually did it.

“Wow,” Said Calum as he looked at all the balloons decorating the front door “They really went all out on this one” He laughed.

“Sabrina is one year old!” You laughed, unbuckling your seatbelt as Calum opened the door for you “She won’t even remember this!”

“Yeah.. but at least Aunt Bridget will get to brag about having real mariachis playing at the party”

“Real maria-?” You asked, but Calum was already trying to hold his laughter as he pointed to a mariachi band getting out of their van “Okay, that is new… We are not even from Mexico!”

“No… but mom went to the wedding of Mr. Gómez’s son and she insisted we hired the same band for little Sab’s birthday” Your cousin answered as she opened the door.

You and Calum hugged your cousin before making your way inside the house. You stood in awe as you walked up the backyard and everything was decorated in different shades of pink and purple. Even the family dog had some sort of ribbon around his collar.

“This looks…” You began

“Like if a vagina exploded?” Calum finished for you. You slapped him in the arm playfully, trying so hard not to laugh along with him and be serious.

Your cousin came back a few moments later to hand each of you a drink and inviting you outside to join the party.

*

The mariachis were actually really good, especially when they made Calum have a dance-off with one of your uncles to the chicken dance song. And the rest of the party was also really fun for kids and adults alike.

Now the sun was starting to set and most of your family members decided it was time to call it a day after so many games and dancing. You and Calum, however, decided to stay a little longer since most of your cousins unofficially agreed to have a ‘family-friendly after-party’

You were sitting next to your cousin as you held her baby in your lap, making her dance along with the music.

“You are good at this,” Your cousin said, looking at you and baby Sabrina.

You laughed “It’s not too hard of a job to entertain a baby” And to prove your point, you started making faces at your niece, who started laughing right away.

“It’s not that! You, my dear, have the touch”

“The touch?” She nodded.

“You have that motherly essence, it’s easy for you to engage with the children - they all love you by the way, which is a fact I’m extremely jealous of - And you just have that capacity of love only a parent can understand. C’mon, don’t tell me you and Calum haven’t thought about having a family?”

You drifted your eyes to find Calum amongst the crowd of adults and children.

He was playing soccer with your older nieces and nephews, laughing as he threw himself to the ground on exaggerated acting as the kids scored goal after goal, laughing at your husband’s antics.

And just like that, it was like an image of your future passing by You and Calum sitting in the backyard with Duke running around with your child, playing all sorts of games with you, swimming in the pool, and eating ice cream. Reading bedtime stories as Calum sang them to sleep, him teaching them how to play different instruments and sports, always encouraging them to follow their dreams and passions… Yes, you could get used to that.

“I- I haven’t thought about it” You finally said with a light blush on your cheeks. You didn’t know if it was because of the question, your daydream, or the way Calum was looking and smiling at you.

*

You couldn’t stop thinking about what your cousin said even when you were already in the car and on your way home with Calum humming along with the songs on the radio.

Once you reached your home you started looking around, thinking of all the places you could share with your potential future family; cooking dinner together at night or watching frozen one thousand times on movie night or creating a playroom just for them so they could have their own space to create whatever comes into their minds and-

“You are really quiet, Angel,” Your husband said, interrupting your train of thought “Is everything alright?”

You pressed your lips together in a tight smile and nodded as he came to hug you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder “Did you have fun with the kids today?” You asked cautiously.

Calum chuckled “Yeah… Matthew almost threw me off at one point, he’s getting good at soccer”

“I hope so! His dad told me he started going to practice cause he wants to be a soccer player and a musician like his uncle Cal” You said, pecking your lips in Calum’s red cheek. You could see that he was slightly embarrassed but in a good way. You wonder if your future children will be like that as well.

Maybe they’ll have his cheeks, or your eyes… oh, please let them have Calum’s curly hair.

You smiled to yourself at the thought of little chubby-cheeked curly-haired heads running around your house. They will be perfect and they will be so loved…

Calum hummed next to your ear, placing a little kiss to the shell of it “I know what’s got you all wrapped up in daydream land” He said, hugging you tighter.

You turned your face to look at him “You do?” He nodded and placed his head on your shoulder again.

“Knew it since I saw you looking at me when I was playing with the kids” He placed a kiss on your cheek and made you turn around completely while still holding you by your waist. You swore you could hear the beating of your heart thundering louder and louder.

“And to be honest, I’ve been thinking about it since the first time I saw you hold a baby”

You blinked at him, confusion written all over your face “What?”

“Well… I knew from the moment I saw you that I wanted to start a family with you. I just confirmed it the day you took me to Matthew’s birthday party to meet your family” He said as a matter-of-factly.

“Yo-you want to start a family with me?” You asked with a flash of hope in your eyes.

Calum smiled at you, his eyes filled with pure adoration “I want to start everything with you, Angel. As long as you let me”

“Do you think we’re ready?”

“I love you, you love me” He said and you nodded with a smile “We’ve been together for 7 years, married for 3; we both have steady jobs, I’m not leaving for tour anytime soon so I’ll be home through every step of the way, we live in a nice house and Duke is more than ready to have a new partner in crime, so… what do you say, love?” Calum said with a cheeky smile.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer into a kiss.

“Let’s do it”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @theshyspy @talksoprettyjjx @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @Yeah-and69 @mystic-232

*if Your @ is crossed it means I can’t tag you for some reason, please send me a message so we can fix this ✨

[writingwithacupoftea]

The Perfect Birthday Present

Summary: Y/N Shelby’s birthday was fast approaching, and Tommy has no idea what to buy for her. Who would have thought that a night of drunken antics would give him the perfect answer?

Word Count: 2462

Y/B/M = Your birth month

A/N: Is this fic basically a belated birthday present to myself? Yes. Is it completely different to the one I planned? Absolutely 😂 Hope you all love this one as much as I do 💜

Upon Tommy's arrival back to Arrow House, Mary could tell as soon as he stepped out of the car that he was in a foul mood, even by his standards.

He'd been in London for the past week, sorting out some business. That part of the trip had gone well, Tommy had conceded, but the same couldn't be said for the other part of his mission: finding a birthday present for Y/N. In the past the Shelby's had clubbed together to buy presents, however this year Tommy wanted to get Y/N something special that was just from him.  

It was to be a thank you, really, for having put up with his shit for so long, yet never wavering in her loyalty to him. To say that he was supposed to be the one looking after her, for Y/N was his little sister, the roles had definitely been reversed over the last few years: she had helped him through his nightmares and opium addiction, provided him with brutal and blatant honesty (no matter how much he sulked or raged afterwards until he realised that she was right), and had dropped everything to move to Arrow House with him and Charlie after Grace's death.

To say that he was grateful for Y/N would be an understatement.

But seeing as everyone knew that Thomas Shelby was abysmal when it comes to talking about emotions, he wanted to show it in the only way he knew how – spending ridiculous amounts of his money on her.

He had dragged Ada through all of the best shops in London, looking for something spectacular to gift to Y/N. Tommy had ignored Ada's reminders about Y/N's love for simplicity and the little things: in his eyes, Y/N deserved the best that money could buy, so that's what he would get for her.

Yet nothing that they had looked at seemed quite right – it just wasn't Y/N enough. He should've realised then that Ada was right.

So Tommy returned to Warwickshire a day earlier than expected, empty-handed, exhausted and annoyed at himself.  

Curiosity took over, however, upon hearing music echoing through the halls of Arrow House. After following it, even Tommy's seemingly ice-cold heart melted slightly at the sight that greeted him home: Y/N has dug out the old gramophone, which hadn't been used since Grace had died, and she was dancing around the room with a whiskey in one hand and a half-smoked cigarette in the other.  

Tommy smiled softly at the sight of his sister swaying to the music, unaware that she was being watched. She looked young and happy and carefree, a far cry from her usual reserved and guarded self. Tommy forgot about his own troubles just watching her, enjoying seeing Y/N so alive.

But quickly, his mood changed and the smile vanished. Tommy found himself mourning, almost, the life that Y/N should've had, but because of him she could never live. Times like this shouldn't have been a rarity for his little sister: her whole life should have been filled with the unabated joy that exuded from her in this moment. Instead, she looked over her shoulder at every turn, cleared up the mess after each of his mistakes and constantly walked the streets with a target on her back.

Y/N chose this moment to turn around, having noticed that her glass was empty once again, and was momentarily stunned at seeing Tommy. That feeling passed in an instant, however, and she found herself barrelling across the room, throwing herself into her brother's arms. "TOM!" Her delight could be seen from a million miles away.

"You alright?" He rubbed her back gently as they hugged, and he noticed the strong smell of whiskey on her. "How many of those have you had?" Tommy gestured to the empty glass sat on the table, which Y/N was now refilling, along with a second one that she poured for him.

"Only one or two, Tom." Despite her best efforts to look and sound innocent, what Y/N didn't realise was that her flushed cheeks and the devilish glint in her eye gave her away, causing Tommy to smirk in amusement.

The track on the record changed to a lively Charleston, which only sounded vaguely familiar to Tommy's ears, however sparked far more of a reaction from his sister. She gasped loudly and downed her drink in one, slamming the glass down on the table, causing Tommy to raise his eyebrows at her. Y/N had a large smile plastered on her face as she exclaimed "Oh , I love this one!" She ran to turn the volume up, and started dancing once more.

"Won't this wake Charles up?" Tommy wasn't in the mood to deal with the screaming baby, especially if he was already fast asleep.

"Oh no, Tom, he's the reason I got the gramophone out in the first place. What I've discovered over the last few days is that your son adores music." Y/N turned to face Tommy, and adopted the matter-of-fact tone that she used so frequently with him. "A little dance to something upbeat to tire him out, then you put something gentler on and in no time at all he's out like a light."

Tommy felt guilt bubbling up inside of him, replacing his amusement at his younger sister's drunken state. Y/N had managed to find the solution that he had been looking for since Charlie's birth in a matter of days. It showed how little he knew about his own son, and was just another thing Y/N had had to figure out on her own, another problem that she had taken upon herself to solve for him.

Following Tommy's long silence, Y/N looked over at her elder brother, noticing the sad and far-away look on his face, and held out a hand dramatically towards him. "Will you join me, Tom, or have you forgotten how to dance?"

"I'm tired, Y/N/N. Another time, perhaps."

"So you have forgotten."

"Remember who taught you how to dance, sweetheart." His gaze softened as he recalled fond memories of his sister stepping on his toes. "Anyway, I don't think I could keep up with you now I'm older, as you kindly keep reminding me."

Y/N smirked at this. "Yes, Tom, but I'm older as well... that's how age works." She grabbed his hands in hers and started to force him to move his body a little to the music. "Come on, old man, you're not doing anything to help those creaking bones of yours!"

Tommy sighed, realising that he wasn't escaping, and reluctantly started to dance a bit with her. Y/N cackled at how out of practice he was, his movements stiff and face void of emotion, and was determined to get her older brother to loosen up before she went to bed.

***

A couple of hours later, the room was filled with laughter and both siblings had uncontainable smiles on their faces.

Everywhere was a mess. Records were strewn across the table, as they had quickly been through every one and couldn't remember which ones they liked the best; the furniture had been shoved to the side to make more space, with Tommy's suit and tie discarded on the sofa; and empty bottles of alcohol and various glasses were dotted around the room.

It's safe to say that Y/N had succeeded in her mission – Tommy was the happiest that she had seen him in a long time. She wished that this night could last forever, just her and her favourite brother in their own little world, where none of their worries could touch them.

***

The clock on the mantlepiece would have told Tommy that it was now the early hours of the morning, but he paid no attention to it

A slower tune played as the brother and sister swayed together in the middle of the room. Y/N was half-asleep, exhaustion having taken hold as her body caught up with the amount of alcohol she had consumed. It was rare for her to spend so much time with Tommy these days, despite having moved into his home, and she refused to waste one second of it while he was in the right mood.

As for Tommy himself, he was thinking; not at the fast-pace at which his thoughts usually raced, but just thinking. Well, more reminiscing. He hadn't spent a night like this since before the war; in fact he hadn't come close to feeling this free and at peace since before the war. Even when Grace was still here, his mind was more often than not occupied by business.

He thought about the not so little girl wrapped safely in his arms. Placing a soft kiss on the top of her head, he wondered ‘When did she become so grown up? Where did the time go?’

Breaking the quiet between them, Tommy only just heard his sister’s drunken mumbles of “This is the best birthday present ever,” and felt his heart melt even more.

He observed the contented smile that rested on his sister’s face and realised that Ada was right about Y/N: she lived for the special little things in life, she lived for family and for love, not money and jewels.  

Y/N lived for moments like this… and, just like that, Tommy knew what the perfect present would be.

***

Two days later, and it was Y/N’s birthday.  

Since it was a Sunday, all that she had wanted to do to celebrate was to have a big lunch with all of her family. So, the whole Shelby clan, spouses and children included, piled into Arrow House for one very chaotic afternoon.

Y/N couldn't have been happier with how the day turned out. Arguments were kept to a minimum (but Y/N secretly enjoyed the slight bickering that inevitably occurred), she was able to play with all of her nieces and nephews in the garden to her heart's content, and the whole of Arrow House had a buzz about it.

Even Tommy didn't seem to be as grumpy and pre-occupied as usual. Something had changed in her brother since that drunken night, and Y/N couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. But it was a change for the better, so she wasn't going to complain or question it. Despite her longing for a night like that again, she knew that it was an unrealistic dream: Tommy had far too much on his plate nowadays, even if Y/N thought that it would do him the world of good to let go every now and again. And, Y/N admitted to herself, she had missed her big brother much more than she realised.

But Y/N didn't dwell on that for too long, knowing that she'd miss out on things if she spent too long in her own head (such as John, who had just fallen out of a tree in an attempt to beat his own children in climbing it).

***

It was dusk before the family left, and as much as it was one of the best birthdays that Y/N could remember, she was glad for the quiet and a bit of time to herself.

After eating some more birthday cake and having a cup of tea on the bench in the garden, watching as the stars gradually appeared in the Y/B/M sky, Y/N retreated back inside having discovered that it was nearly midnight.  

Mary informed her that her brother had already gone up to bed for the night. On any other day, Y/N would have been surprised at this bit of news, knowing how late Tommy normally stayed up to work; but her family was exhausting when they were all together for half an hour, never mind half a day, so she quietly padded up the stairs to do the same.

Her attention was immediately drawn to a large box that rested on her bed the moment that she entered her room. Y/N would’ve been suspicious if it wasn’t for the note that sat on top of it:

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Love,

Tommy x”

Excitement and intrigue building up inside of her rapidly, she untied the messy bow (Tommy had clearly tried his best) and lifted the lid. Inside she found four new records and two bottles of whiskey. For a moment she was confused, but then she found a second note:

“For the next time…

T x”

Y/N felt her heart swell with emotion and tears began to line her eyes as she smiled.

She threw on her nightdress and wandered down the hall to her brother’s bedroom. Knocking gently, she pushed the door open slightly, just enough to stick her head around it. Tommy’s crystal blue eyes locked with hers and she suddenly found herself wondering why she was there at all: she and Tommy were both awful at things like this (when then were sober, anyway). There was a reason why he left the present somewhere that she would find it by herself, rather than giving it to her himself.

Suddenly feeling awkward, Y/N smiled slightly and nodded, not knowing what to say to her brother. As she began to close the door again, Y/N heard a slight chuckle from inside the room and Tommy softly called her name.

She shuffled back into the room, looking at anything but her brother sat on the bed. "I know it's late, but I just wanted to say -" But she was unable to finish that important sentence, a loud, long yawn having escaped her.

When she opened her eyes again, Y/N saw, to her surprise, an amused smile playing on Tommy's lips. He pulled back the covers on the other side of his grand bed, and raised his eyebrows, silently posing a question that he hadn't asked for a long time.  

In recent years, Tommy hadn't been overly affectionate: Y/N guessed that it was just another side effect of the war. So, when the opportunity arose for Y/N to get a hug from her brother (who used to give the best hugs, not that she'd ever tell her other family members), she would never refuse.

She half-ran over to the bed and snuggled under the duvet before Tommy could change his mind. Cuddling into his side and letting the warmth envelope her, the siblings lay there in silence for a while, perfectly content.

As Y/N's eyelids began to flutter shut, she mumbled into her brother's chest a soft "Thank you, Tom," that he only just caught.

Tommy tightened his arms around his Y/N's frame in response and pressed a kiss to her hair. He turned out the light next to him as he felt his little sister's breaths even out, and whispered so that no one else could hear: "No, darling, thank you."

[lovingremus]

Youtuber Sirius part 2

Because a few asked for it :)

Read part 1 here!

This is set in the future (roughly August 2021) so who knows how things are then really, BUT in this blissful fantasy world, people have been super dedicated to getting the virus under control the whole year and the travel bans etc. are lifted so this can happen!!

CW the pandemic (& long-distance relationship if you don’t like to read about that <3)

It’s been over a year of twelve-hour daily phone calls and video chats. Birthdays and holidays celebrated over Zoom or FaceTime. Hundreds of “I love you” and “wish you were here” changed over the phone.

It’s been over a year of getting to know every detail of the other, a year of sharing secrets and dreams. It’s been over a year of laughter and ever-growing love, but also yearning and tears and words of comfort whispered into the speaker in the middle of the night, when the heartache of not being able to be together got too much for either of them.

But they have found ways to feel closer to each other. Sirius orders Remus a rose delivery on the door every Friday, sends him almost weekly packages filled with lovely gifts (usually a bunch of his own clothes—Remus rarely wears anything else these days, because oh god they smell like Sirius and it’s SO good). Remus still writes music for Sirius’s videos, and a half of his other songs are about him.

It’s been a while since Sirius hit forty million subscribers on his channel and a couple of months since Remus published his first full album on Spotify. They have both been guests at late-night shows via video calls. Several articles have been written about them, both as individuals as well as a couple.

So, Sirius and Remus are doing alright, but missing each other more than anything. Still, they both understand it’s more important to be patient and wait until the situation calms down rather than carelessly run to each other. Travelling abroad is out of the question right now. So they wait, and wait, and wait. It will all be worth it, they keep saying, you’re worth the wait.

Remus has watched all of Sirius’s videos. It wasn’t even hard, after all, almost like getting absorbed into a good series. He couldn’t stop watching as soon as he’d started, skipping sleep to the point Sirius threatened to make all his videos private until Remus took a nap (this happened quite a few times). Remus could definitely understand people’s obsession, even more so as he was wildly in love, and watching Sirius’s videos brought him so much comfort, a way to spend time with him during the long hours Sirius was asleep or otherwise not available.

He watches Sirius’s London vlog every day. Seeing him walk along those familiar streets is comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. And he had been so close, about twenty feet from him that night, based on the restaurant clip on the video.

Remus doesn’t remember seeing him and feels horribly guilty for it. He can’t believe they have ever been so close, in the same room, breathing the same air. He might have even brushed past his shoulder as he had exited—he had touched someone. Had it been him? Remus couldn’t tell, and neither could Sirius, who had been engaged in a conversation with someone by the time Remus was leaving the stage.

It’s been over a year, and at the end of the summer, their time finally comes. The cases are way down almost all around the world, many restrictions have been lifted. And while it’s still very important to stay safe and careful, they can start planning. They decide to meet in London, where it all started, they both get tested, and as soon as the results come back as negative, the plan is a go. Soon, they’ll be together for a whole month.

They’ll have to quarantine for two weeks as soon as Sirius arrives, which at this point is the opposite of a problem to them. Remus doesn’t go to the airport—he could be circled by fans, which is a horrifying thought, to be honest. Not only does Remus fear a bunch of strangers breathing all over him, no matter how kind their intentions would be, he still isn’t used to being recognised like that. And to avoid that happening to Sirius either, they decide not to publicly tell about the trip until they’re safe and secure at Remus’s house.

Sirius is a mess for the whole ten-hour long flight, not even dreaming of getting any sleep. He’s excited to the point he feels nauseous, he’s fidgeting with the bracelets that Remus made and sent him for his birthday.

Remus has moved houses, leaving behind his small flat and upgrading to a nice three-bedroom apartment. His dream is to have Sirius moving in with him one beautiful day. He’s waiting outside of his home now, switching between pacing back and forth, and sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree, because his legs are like jelly and just won’t carry. He almost faints when Sirius texts he’s only a few blocks away, and soon enough he sees a taxi at the end of the street. It pulls over. The backdoor opens. And there he is.

They don’t waste a second. Sirius runs toward Remus, pulling his mask down as Remus does the same to his own. They crash against each other, hugging so tight they can barely breathe. After a minute, Sirius pulls back just enough to grab Remus’s head between his hands and pull him into a hard kiss. Remus lets him, answering eagerly. They stay like this for a long time.

Later, Sirius posts an Instagram story of the two of them; Remus relaxed against his shoulder on a sofa, both smiling so happily. And the internet goes wild.

Sirius quickly puts up a few question boxes on his story, asking for video ideas and questions. They answer a bunch of them right away, and Sirius posts many cute videos of Remus grinning and blushing and hiding behind decorative pillows, and then they decide to continue later. Sirius has a massive jet lag, and Remus is just as exhausted from just feeling so much, so they go to bed early. Though not much sleeping happens until much later.

The following days are the happiest of their lives. There’s so much to talk about, whenever their lips aren’t occupied by other activities. There are so many things they want to do, even very ordinary things. Actually have a dinner date. Actually watch a movie together.

Nothing is more wonderful than hearing Remus play his guitar and sing right in front of him again, and this time, it’s only for Sirius. He plays all of the sweetest love songs, and Sirius cries and laughs and sings along.

Nothing is more wonderful than to hear Sirius talk to his camera in a low voice when he thinks Remus is asleep, telling the viewers about their day, saying such lovely things about him, and then turning back to stroking Remus’s hair as he quickly closes his eyes and pretends to be completely unaware.

Nothing is more wonderful than being able to kiss, to touch, to hear the other’s voice without the line rattling, see the other’s face from angles that don’t really show on their videos.

They film several videos over the days—a few Q&As, quarantine vlogs and a video where they switch occupations for a day, Remus learning how to handle the camera while Sirius picks up the guitar and attempts to write a song. All of them become very popular, and everybody seems to be very happy for them.

When the quarantine is over and they are allowed to go outside, they take long walks and attend low-risk outdoor events and have picnics at a park. They spend nights cooking and playing games, just doing domestic couple stuff, hoping it never ends.

It’s all so much better than either of them ever dared to wish for. They are impatient for the next time they’ll be able to meet even long before Sirius has to leave in the first place. But that dreadful day draws mercilessly closer, and they take the last week off social media, just focusing on each other.

Work becomes secondary, but the majority of their fans seem to understand. They both are more than deserving of a break, and are just too busy being in love anyway.

[kazuharem]

"Forever and Always” ↠ [FLUFF]

Genre: Drabble, Fluff, tiniest bit of angst

Pairing: Lucien x MC (Female)

Description: Lucien’s wedding day. That’s it

Summary: The happiest day of Lucien’s life.

Word Count: 2,008

Author’s Note: You guys requested for me to make Lucien happy and-

Oops my fingers slipped. So here’s happy Lucien 😊

Also, happy birthday to the love of my life. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever loved a 2D man as much as I do him, but here I am... ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ *puts on clown makeup*

Happy Birthday Lucien! 💜

[DISCLAIMER] I do not own the pictures, characters, or song. The only thing I own is the plot.

You're the first face that I see And the last thing I think about You're the reason that I'm alive You're what I can't live without

You never give up When I'm falling apart Your arms are always open wide And you're quick to forgive When I make a mistake You love me in the blink of an eye

I don't deserve your love But you give it to me anyway Can't get enough You're everything I need And when I walk away You take off running and come right after me It's what you do And I don't deserve you

You're the light inside my eyes You give me a reason to keep trying You give me more than I could dream And you bring me to my knees You bring me to my knees

Your heart is gold and how am I the one That you've chosen to love I still can't believe that you're right next to me After all that I've done

I don't deserve a chance like this I don't deserve a love that gives me everything You're everything I want

“Don’t Deserve You” - Plumb

A figure in a light gray tuxedo examined his reflection silently as he adjusted his tie. He studied his fully dressed self in the mirror, making sure that not even a hair was out of place. When the man was finally satisfied, he met his reflection fully. Lavender met lavender. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Lucien exhaled. He had never seen such a myriad of expressions on his face before. Apprehension, nervousness, happiness, and perhaps just a touch of excitement. Lucien smiled wryly. He looked like a fool stupidly in love.

Love.

What a seemingly absurd concept. Something he had never believed in. Until now. Until her.

He gazed at himself, eyes glimmering with faint excitement and he chuckled. “What have you become?” He asked himself quietly. “Look at you…believing in some crazy concept.” The tone in his voice was deprecating.

He could never imagine it. A beautiful woman in a white dress walking down the aisle. A pair of rings. Vows that spoke of forever. A companion for a lifetime. The sort of things he had never dared to want for himself.

And why should he?

Lucien had always been alone and quite frankly; it was easier this way. Doing the things he wanted to accomplish by himself. No one to argue with him. No one to get in his way. The research that spoke of advancement for the human race. Ever since the tender age of seven, he has always done things on his own. It was something he was familiar with, loneliness accepted as his way of life, and he was content to live with that fact.

Until he met her.

What was supposed to be a mere task of awakening the Queen’s powers morphed into cozy movie nights on his couch. Running for shelter from a surprise rainstorm. Sunny afternoons filled with delighted laughter. The anticipation of having someone wait for him.

Before long, she had replaced the emptiness inside him with a warmth that spread throughout him, spouting feelings of blossoming love that she had carefully sowed within him.

Lucien had found himself opening up to her. He had found himself wanting to know every little detail that made her so unique in his world.

And then there were the colors.

He had been thoroughly dazzled when he could see the prismatic colors of a rainbow for the first time. She had brought color into his bleak black-and-white world, something he had previously thought impossible. But she had accomplished the impossible. She had shown him a brand new world. And it was absolutely beautiful.

She had gone against his expectations. Gone against his point of view that humans were weak and only the strongest got to evolve. She had stood up to him, while holding her own ground.

Even after he had betrayed her, even after all the things he had done as Ares, she was still willing to welcome him into her arms. She was still able to see his side of things and yet, still loved him.

He remembered the moment she had stood up to him, defiant and strong.

“I wouldn’t. If I had the gift of prophecy and knew all kinds of secrets and knowledge…if I had faith to move mountains, but didn’t have love… Then none of it would count for anything. Even if the light’s source is put out, I’d still try to keep my own shining. No matter how difficult, or how dark it gets. Or how foolish or ridiculous.”

He could hear those very words.

“Silly girl,” Lucien murmured as he recalled the memory.

They had gone through all sorts of trials and tribulations and now they were here, at the cusp of a future Lucien had never thought he would achieve in this lifetime. But she had made it all possible.

After Black Swan had no more, there was one evening she had fallen asleep in his arms. And as Lucien gazed at the peacefully slumbering girl, he was struck with a desperate need to keep her in his arms, to want her to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up and the last thing he sees before going to sleep. The urge consumed him, until it was the only thing he could think of.

The next day, he had impulsively stepped into a jewelry shop. When he set his sights upon a pearlescent stone which scattered rainbows when met with light, he knew. That very night, he had knelt before her and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him.

Was he selfish?

Lucien frowned, and the face in the mirror mimicked him, brow scrunching up with distaste.

Don’t be foolish, Ares, look at all you have done. Do you think you deserve such happiness?

A voice, poisonous yet alluring, pricked at the back of his mind.

He watched himself as his hand curled slowly into a fist. Did he? Did he deserve to live this happy and loving life?

That is nothing but a distant pipedream, and you know it, the voice sneered. It taunted him, reminded him of all his faults.

His fist shook as his mouth parted, letting out a silent cry of pain.

Selfish. Foolish Ares. To think you are deserving of happiness-

A sudden knock at the door interrupted the drowning tirade.

And then-

“Lucien?”

Her voice, like a blessed rainstorm after a long drought, washed away the lingering traces of the poisonous voice.

“C-come in,” Lucien cleared his throat.

The door swung up open gently and all the toxic thoughts were immediately wiped from Lucien’s mind.

She walked into the room and the sight of her made Lucien’s entire being swell with a familiar warmth that he’s learned to associate with her.

She was breathtaking. And she looked the epitome of a dream Lucien didn’t dare dream. Didn’t dare hope for. But all the same, had desperately searched for.

“You-” Lucien exhaled and walked slowly towards her. “You are beautiful…” there was wonder laced in his voice. Her cheeks reddened prettily at his words. “You are so beautiful…” he whispered in awe.

He could feel the corners of his eyes prick.

He doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve her.

But that did not stop him from wanting to.

“The photographer is waiting for us to take our pictures before the ceremony,” She fidgeted nervously as she smiled shyly, and Lucien’s heart nearly threw itself against his chest at the sight. She finally looked him in the eye and tilted her head curiously. “Are you ready?”

Lucien did not speak, couldn’t speak as he tugged her gently into his arms.

“Lucien?” She asked, voice slightly muffled by his shoulder.

“Shhh…” he murmured, and his voice is raw, thick with unspoken emotion. He buried his nose into her hair, inhaling her familiar scent. “Let’s just-stay like this for a little bit…” His shoulders began to tremble, and she belatedly realized that Lucien was crying.

“Lucien-” she struggled to turn to look at him, but he firmly kept her head tucked under his chin.

The sight of her in the white wedding dress evoked faint memories that he thought he had long forgotten. The feeling of his mother’s hand as she petted him, calling him “My Little Prince.” The pooling of his father’s big lab coat around Lucien’s tiny frame as he read voraciously through a textbook, undoubtedly much too advanced for a five-year-old. Lucien remembered his father looking on proudly. He remembered the warm afternoons of relaxing in the park when his parents took the day off to spend with him.

Lucien remembered being loved.

He sucked in a shaky breath as he pressed soft kisses against the crown of her head. “Thank you,” he breathed, his words a gentle puff of air.

She didn’t question him and only wrapped her arms around him. Lucien felt warm all over.

The couple stayed in that position for several moments until Lucien broke away slightly, “Shall we?” He asked, “Isn’t the photographer waiting?”

She huffed at him and he smiled, tweaking her nose gently. Lucien pulled her close, his hands naturally finding purchase on her waist as he led her out the door. They walked down the path where weeping wisteria hung above their heads, creating a lilac, perfumed shelter.

Lucien could see their photographer waiting in the distance.

He suddenly stopped and grabbed her wrist, spinning her into his arms.

“Lucien! People are waiting for us!” She cried out with surprise.

“They can wait a little longer,” Lucien declared, a hint of mischievous creeping into his voice. “It’s our wedding, after all.”

She pouted at him and Lucien grinned broadly. “I have something I want to say. And I want only you to hear these words,” Lucien started quietly, the teasing tone easing into one that was more serious.

She nodded and Lucien could see the blind trust and unconditional love in those beautiful eyes.

He took a deep breath, “When it comes to you, I seem to have planned many beginnings, but I can never predict the endings,” Lucien began, and her eyes widened.

Somewhere, a photographer was holding his camera anxiously, as he looked around for any sign of the couple.

Somewhere, a group of guests were sitting in confusion, wondering when the ceremony was going to begin.

Somewhere, a certain CEO was looking at his watch impatiently, brows furrowed in annoyance.

Somewhere, a certain police officer was bouncing his leg in anxiety, secretly wondering if anything had happened to the bride.

Somewhere, a certain idol was waiting restlessly on stage, ready to give the happy couple a wedding performance.

But all these people did not matter to Lucien as he continued.

“I purposely tried to distance myself from you. It’s not that you did anything wrong. It was…safer. For you. Before I met you, I disliked the idea of having a companion. We all have our own destinations, and if I had to match my steps with anyone else’s, I’d walk much slower. But as I walked my path alone, every time I turned around…I’d always find that you had caught up with me. This time is no different. You’re the only one in the world whom I’d gladly turn around for. Or…you’re the only one who could catch up to me and remain by my side. You are the first person I want to see in the morning and the last at night. Thank you for bringing color into my world. Thank you for loving me. I promise to keep you safe, to keep you happy. I promise I will take your love to give me hope, give me joy, and make me a better man. So, from now on, I’ll never let go.”

Lucien paused, gazing into her now watery eyes. He leaned in closer until their noses touched and their breaths mingled.

“I love you, forever and always.”

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

The companion fic to his birthday karma “Cozy Day” will be coming soon!

I love this man so much, y’all don’t understand the amount of love I have for him, okay 😌 Paper Games, let my mans be happy for once pls

For more of my work: 📖

[ellewords]

“you know i’m in love with you, right?” hinata mutters into your shoulder, arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace.

he had to leave. a team had invited him to play in japan. an opportunity of a lifetime had presented itself to him, and he would be an idiot to pass it up. but that also meant leaving brazil. leaving you.

the pair of you had met pretty soon after hinata had arrived two years before, and there had been a spark from the second you laid eyes on each other. you had never been happier than you were during the time you got to spend with him, and as far as you could tell, hinata shared that sentiment. but you knew from the very beginning that your time was limited. that was why you had never made anything official; it would hurt too much when time ran out. you had too much of your life rooted in brazil to validate leaving, and hinata was rooted in japan. it would be unfair to expect that to change just because of how you felt for each other.

yet here you guys were, hinata holding you like you were his lifeline, face pressed tightly into the curve of your neck, confessing like he’d wanted to from the very start as you sniffled. it was cruel, getting a taste of what could have been just as he was about to board a plane out of your life, but you couldn’t help the watery laugh that escaped your lips.

“i love you, too, sho. always have.”

he pulls back, and his smile is wide and wobbly, and his eyes hold so much love and so many tears, and it hurts. neither of you look away.

you don’t know who leans in first, but before you know it, your noses are nearly touching. he looks just about ready to plunge in and seal the deal when the intercom interrupts with the announcement to begin boarding his flight. he winces, pulling away slowly to look at the throng of people beginning to line up. he needs to go soon, but he can’t make himself move. he doesn’t want to move.

he squeezes your hand and looks like he’s debating whether he should pick up his luggage and begin his departure or stay by your side for forever. instead, you make the decision for him, tugging him towards you gently and pressing a kiss to his lips. it’s quick and light, but it starts a fire in your chest. you almost regret it, feeling the longing begin to start up again, but the thought quickly leaves your mind when you see the way hinata blinks rapidly and a smile finally makes its way to his cheeks. then he pulls you tightly into his chest and spins you around, once, twice, a third time as he peppers kisses across your face. when your feet finally hit solid ground again, he’s buzzing with the energy he always seemed to have as he gathers his things and leads you as far as airport security will allow.

“i’m gonna make you so proud, (y/n)! i promise! and then when we see each other again, i’m gonna take you out on a proper date and ask you to be my girlfriend and—“

“i know, sho,” you interject, heart feeling just a little lighter as you watch him get further and further out of view. “i’m already so proud.”

his smile gets impossibly bigger then, and he turns on his heel to walk the rest of the way up the walkway. he stops right before he can disappear, and he looks serious again.

“i love you.”

“i know.”

“i’ll come back to you.”

your heart skips a beat, but before you can respond, another passenger pushes him forward. he’s out of sight instantly, and it finally feels safe to cry. but your smile is still in place.

“i know, sho. i know.”

-💛

— from elle! 💛anon you make my heart hurt and for what?? oh my gosh this is amazing! like legitimately so perfectly bittersweet !! gosh, i love this so so much and the fact that it's timeskip!hinata just makes it all the more *chef's kiss* anyways, i'm picking up where you left off for my little scenario (under the cut, as usual; feat f!reader to go along with what 💛anon sent in). hopefully, i'm able to do justice what you've sent in. thank you so much for this, i hope you're having a wonderful day <3 also i'm not too sure if this is for the first date margins q but i'm considering it as that just in case

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

it’s one of those rare moments wherein he had gotten more than just a couple of days off; in fact, he actually had a couple of weeks. the off season for volleyball had begun — no matches, no tournaments, and for a short while, no practices. just giving the team some rest after months of non-stop playing and training.

the second he had gotten the email that confirmed his time-off, hinata’s fingers found themselves booking a ticket on the nearest flight to brazil, the flight that would bring him back to you. he promised that he would take you out on a date, he couldn’t just show up without a plan. not when all he thought about for most of his waking moments was running home to you.

so he packs his nicest suit, folding it as carefully as he could as to not get it crinkled, and spends all of the 26 hour flight daydreaming of the moment you two would finally meet again in person. would you run up to him? wrap your arms around him? he hopes you would. 

you had kept in touch of course, hinata couldn’t allow himself the displeasure of not talking to you at least once a day. but late night video chats, early morning phone calls, and text messages throughout the day could only do so much. he wanted to feel your skin against his, to hear your voice untainted by the thousands of miles of distance, to run his fingertips along the apples of your cheeks and cup your face in the palm of his hand.

and hours from now, he would finally be able to.

__

hinata stands in the reception area of your office building, flowers in hand, nervous smile on his face. after a nap and a shower, he raced out of his hotel room in his suit, making a reservation to one of your favorite restaurants.

his foot taps on the marbled floor, glancing at his wristwatch every few seconds. he had placed himself by the elevator doors, making himself the first thing you’d see the second you stepped out of it. hinata’s growing more and more impatient as the seconds ticked by, rocking back and forth on his feet. the clock strikes six, any second now.

__

hinata wishes he could capture the bewildered look on your face, the way you stopped in your tracks the second you made eye contact with him. he gives you a sheepish smile, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck before gesturing into a wave. a quiet little “hi” leaving his lips.

you approach him cautiously at first, tentatively, like you were unsure if he was actually there in front of you. he had told you that he had gotten a couple of weeks off, but he never mentioned using them to fly back to brazil. you’re stunned, breath caught in your throat as your eyes move along the entirety of his figure. there’s no way he was here, this is all just a figment of your imagination; the section of your mind that missed him had finally lost control. you want to keep your steps slow for fear of disappointment.

but your heart and your feet betray you, picking up the pace just as you were a couple of feet in front of him. you practically throw your body against his, wrapping your arms around his neck, hoping he’d be strong enough as to not make the two of you fall on the cold floor of your office building.

hinata takes a few steps back from the force of your body impacting his, but he places an arm around your waist, steadying both himself and you. he hears it, the beating of his heart, loud and clear as he takes in the familiar scent of your perfume.

you pull away, placing your hands on his face just to make sure he was really in front of you. gazing directly into his eyes, you breathe out, “you’re here.”

“i'm here.” hinata confirms, pressing a kiss to your temple; just to let you know he's real.

__

hinata gazes at you from across the table, reaching out for your hand so he could hold it in his; he needed this, the warmth of your touch, a gentle reminder that he was once again in your presence.

and you were not one to deny him such a simple thing, mostly because you need that reminder as well.

this isn’t the first time you had eaten at this particular restaurant. during his two year stint in brazil, the place had become a source of comfort for the two of you. it’s where you celebrated birthdays, big promotions, or just had dinner when neither of you felt like cooking.

hinata still knows your order by heart, surprising you. in all honesty, you thought he would forget all about you the second he step foot in japan. there’s a small pull at your heartstrings, a flurry in the pit of your stomach, a fluttering in your chest.

most first dates are spent trying to get to know the other person, but hinata already knew you like the back of his hand. and the same could be said of you with him. you knew in the light in his eyes as he talked about his new teammates how much he adored playing with them. and he knew in the smile on your face as you rambled on about the book you had just finished reading that it would become one of your favorites. 

you can’t help but stare, how could someone change in just a short amount of time? he had grown more confident, looked the happiest he’s ever been. and it certainly helped that he was wearing a suit — you had mostly seen him in sweatpants and pyjamas, so this was an entirely different look to you.

“you know, i wish you had told me you were coming,” you frown, looking down at your work clothes, knowing that somewhere deep in your closet is a dress that would have been perfect for a night like this, “i would have dressed for the occasion.”

“but you’re already perfect.” hinata says it without missing a beat, with such complete and utter sincerity that your heartbeat pick up just as he said it.

__

like a true gentleman, he walks you back to your apartment. a place that isn’t exactly foreign to him, his feet leading him on muscle memory alone. 

the walk back is filled with his and your laughters, arms looped around the other’s as you made your steps as slow as possible; trying your hardest to extend the time you had. 

when you finally reach the front door, hinata stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans, suddenly unsure of himself. was this too much for you? was he coming on too strong?

you chuckle, seeing the complete panic in his features, stepping closer to him. you hold his face in your hands, voice barely above a whisper, “i still can’t believe you’re actually here.”

hinata’s breath evens out at your touch, heart finally calming down, blush on his cheeks. and just like that day at the airport, it’s unclear who leans first, but did that matter at this point? everything hangs in the air, months of unsaid words between the two of you, breath hitching as your noses touch.

“i told you i'd come back.” he mumbles against your lips before letting them meet his in a kiss. 

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

a question: what are the hq characters like on a first date?  |  written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs @mysticstrawberryballoon @cloudedsky_29 @sakusasimpbot​

join my hq taglist here. <3

[btscreatorscorner]

Happy Birthday <3 — Anita

To: @agustdjoon — On behalf of all our staff at BCC, happy birthday! We appreciate everything you've done for us as a mod and we hope you had an awesome birthday, and you continue to have a great rest of the year. <3

From: Lexi — Heyo! I just wanted to wish you a happy, happy, happy birthday and also say thank you so much for helping us out here at the net! It’s been great having you here! You’re awesome and I hope you have an amazing birthday and an amazing year afterward~ ~Lexi

From: Melody — Happy Birthday Anita! Thank you for always being so kind and I hope you had a blast and got whatever you wanted and delicious cake~ Stay safe and happy bb!

From: Yannie — happy birthday Anita, i hope you had a great birthday. i wish all happiness to you this year, more blessings to you love 💖 - yannie

From: Levi — Happy birthday Anita<3 I hope you have an awesome rest of the year and thank you so much for all the work you do for us at BCC! - Love, Levi

From: Rid — "Dear Anita! Wishing you an absolutely lovely day and may it be as sweet as you are <3 thank you for always being kind and supportive and talkative, without you, a part of the network(s) would be missing. Hope you get to eat a lot of cake, sending lots of love <33"

From: Jords — happy birthday anita!! i hope u have had a wonderful day filled w presents, love n laughter! happy new year too you too💗 - jords

From: Marinette— Anita! May you have a great birthday this year! Hope it brings you nothing but joy and all things nice! Happy Birthday!!

From: Maya — Anita!! Happy birthday, and thank you for being so sweet and awesome all the time! I hope you enjoyed your day and have an amazing year. Stay cool baby! - luv, maya

From: Ash— BIRTHDAY MONTH TWIN!!! Loads and loads of love to you on your big day, baby. I hope you achieve your goals and receive the best of rewards for all your hardwork in this new year of your life. Wish you the happiest of birthdays, Anita! 🥺❤️

[like-a-bag-of-potatoes]

Then and Now - Dear Diary

AN: It's been a while since I’ve written Supernatural, or Dean, but I'm back now with a new Series. Gonna be 10 parts in total with a lot of feels and fluffs. I've been toying with this idea since I started re-watching spn earlier this year (thank you quarantine) and then after reading a series by the amazing @percywinchester27​ I got inspired and started writing. Shout out to my awesome beta @thorne93​, you da bees knees. 

AN2: I'm doing a thing where I raffle off a personalised drabble every month. How do you join? Easy, just hammer that reblog button. Reblog is one entry, reblog with comment is two entries. So you help spread my work and you might get a little sumpthin’ in return. Win Win

Pairing: AUDean x Reader

Warnings: Some grade A second hand embarrassment (it gets a bit awkward, yo!) There's some talk about sex in this. Italics are entries from her diary. 

Wordcount: 2070

CATCH UP HERE

Summary: It's 2010 and you’re back in Lawrence to settle your family’s affairs after your mom passed. You hope to be in and out of town before anyone really knows you’re there, but that doesn't go as plan. Will a certain green eyed mechanic convince you to come back to the life you once had in Lawrence? Or are you going to return to the real world as soon everything is settled. 

Three weeks had passed since that night by the lake, and the farm was back in pristine condition. You had worked tirelessly, day in and day out, with some help from your friends of course. It had been so great to reconnect with them all. Honestly, you were the happiest that you had been in a while. There still was a dull ache in your heart though, one that seemed to strengthen every time you were with Dean. It was hard to be around him, to be his friend when you knew that was all it was ever going to be. And now that there was nothing left to keep your days occupied, that old restless feeling had settled in your bones again. 

This life wasn't meant for you. Not on this farm. Not Dean. Not even your friends. It was an unachievable dream, just out of reach, and it was slowly driving you insane. Hope had ignited in you that night by the lake, maybe, just maybe there was a chance for you and Dean, but nothing had happened since then to tell you that that was the case. So now you were convinced you had put more meaning in his words than was really there. 

Some days you would stop by the pet shop and say hi to Red, which now was something you looked forward to. Donna told you that he had been a lot happier since you started visiting him, and at times he was a real chatterbox now. You would let him on your shoulder and walk around the store while you talked softly to him, treating him some sunflower seeds here and there. Red greeted you with a high pitched hello every time you walked through the doors, and when you left, he would reach his little foot out as if he was trying to stop you from leaving. At times you wondered if he would make a good travel companion. If he could come with you in your truck as you drove around the country, but those thoughts were quickly pushed aside. 

It was another beautiful Saturday morning, music was blasting from your old boombox as you cleared out your closet. It was an old mixed CD that Dean had given you way back when, filled with Metallica, Zeppelin, Skynyrd, and everything else Dean listened to. REO Speedwagon played in the background as you found the stacks of old diaries in the far right corner, hidden under some other junk. A smile played on your lips as you pulled them out, five of them in total, all with different covers around them. 

“This is bound to be awkward,” you mumbled to yourself as you picked them all up and carried them with you down stairs. 

After filling your cup with coffee, you brought it all with you to the front porch to start what would most definitely be an embarrassing trip down memory lane. 

June 1st 1995

Dear diary. 

I had a huge fight with Jo today. We were gonna hang out after my guitar lesson and she just kept houding me to play… IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I asked her nicely to back off, but she wouldn't leave it alone. Then she said I was just scared of embarrassing myself in front of Dean and I was sooooooo mad at her. Like… I swore her to secrecy when I told her about my crush on him and now… God… I don't think I can ever face him again. 

She's such a BITCH sometimes. 

The word ‘bitch’ was spelled out in big red letters, and you couldn't help but chuckle at your fifteen year old self. Gone were the days when your troubles were this innocent. 

There was no entry for a couple of days, just some doodles of Dean's name over and  over again. 

June 5th 1995

So I made up with Jo. She apologized which I know is, like, super hard for her to do, so we’re good again. She told me Dean has been acting really strange the last few days. Been all quiet and stuff. She said that Benny told her that Cas had told him that Dean asked Cas if he thought I had a crush on him. 

Jo thinks Dean has a crush on me too, but I don't think so. The last girlfriend he had was Lisa Braeden and she's so beautiful. No way I can compete with that. I just need to get over these stupid feelings so things can go back to normal. 

You skimmed through a few more entries, stuff about tests at school and plans for the summer holiday, then some thoughts and ideas for your birthday. It was all very tame. 

But then… 

June 14th 1995

HE KISSED ME!!!! I can't believe Dean actually kissed me… and on my birthday. It was so perfect, and his lips were so soft. It was better than I could ever have imagined. I'm so happy right now I could just scream. He asked me if I would go with him to the lake tomorrow and I literally can't wait. I can't even stop smiling. 

It was the perfect first kiss with the perfect guy. 

Then there was a drawn heart with Dean’s name in it. Without realizing it, your fingers ghosted over your lips as you recalled the kiss. It was a bit frustrating that you hadn't written it down in more detail, but the butterflies that coursed through you told you that you remembered it just fine. 

Time didn't really register as you sat and flipped through the pages of your diaries, so when Dean pulled up, you didn't know how long you had sat there. The coffee had long been forgotten and was now too cold to drink. 

“What's all this?” Dean asked as he plumped down in the empty chair. 

“My old diaries,” you said with a smile. “I found them earlier in my closet. It's so awkward, but I just can't stop reading,” you explained with a chuckle. It was hard to ignore the uproar of butterflies in your stomach at the sight of Dean, but you did your best to push it aside. 

“Lay it on me,” he gently ordered with that cheeky grin of his. 

“You want me to read you my diary?” You asked in bewilderment. 

“Yes!” he exclaimed, laughing. 

“Brace yourself for some grade A second hand embarrassment, Winchester,” you warned and he made a point of getting comfortable in his seat. You opened the book on a random page and started reading. “June 21, 1995. It's been a week since Dean and I kissed for the first time, and I still can't believe he asked me to be his girlfriend. Like, for real-” Dean chuckled and you chanced a look up at him, but he urged you to continue. “I mean, I have never been anyone's girlfriend before so I'm not really good at it I think. Like, can I just hold his hand whenever I want now? Or kiss him? ‘Cuz I want to do that all the time. I just don't want him to feel like I'm too clingy or something like that.” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. 

Dean just chuckled. “Why didn't you tell me?” 

“About my insecurities?-” he nodded -”I didn't want you to think I was a dweeb,” you said as if it was the most obvious thing. 

“That ship sailed long before that,” he said, erupting into laughter when you stuck your tongue out at him. “If it makes you feel any better, I wanted to hold your hand and kiss you all the time too,” he said in an exaggerated sweet tone. 

“Ha! Wish I knew that back then,” you mused. 

“Go on,” he said eagerly, pointing to the book in your hand. 

With a deep sigh, you opened to another random page. “August 7th, 1995. Dean took me to the lake today to watch the sunset. It was beautiful. We talked about ‘doing it’.” As you read the words out loud you giggled and hid your face behind the book. “Oh my god, Dean… It's so awful,” you whined behind the book. 

Dean found your embarrassment adorable, especially the smile that followed it, and the laughter. Your nose always scrunched up when you were embarrassed and it was nice to see that hadn't changed. “Go on,” he urged. “I wanna know if we ‘did it’.” Although he knew perfectly well that you didn't, not that night. 

“Really?” you asked, peeking up over the book. 

“Hell yeah. I'm invested in this now, don't leave me hanging.” 

“I told Dean I was scared because I hadn't done it before. He said he hadn't either. I was so sure he had done it with Lisa, but apparently that was just a rumor. I want to do it with him, though. I can't think of a better person to lose my ‘V’ card to. He said he would wait for as long as I wanted.” Even as awful as this was, it was very sweet in its innocence. 

“I remember that night,” he said, smiling. It wasn't that cheeky grin from a couple of seconds ago, though, it was the smile one had when recalling a fond memory. “It was a really great night.” 

“It was,” you agreed. It was nice to share this with him, even though it was embarrassing, it was a story that the two of you shared, and it was nice to have this reminder of how good things once were for you. You flipped the pages once more, now looking for a specific entry. “August 12th 1995. Dean and I finally did it. It was at the lake in the bed of my truck, but it was as perfect as could be. He was so gentle with me, and patient. It hurt a lot at first, but Dean went really slow and it got better. There was a little blood afterwards and I was super embarrassed, but he didn't care. I’m so glad Dean was my first, because I don't think anyone else would make me feel so safe. Dean always makes me feel safe.” The words trailed off and you looked up at Dean, the air suddenly thick around you. 

He cleared his throat before he spoke. “Well, there you have it.” 

“Sorry. I didn't know it would turn so… real,” you said quietly, closing the book and placing it on the table. 

“No - it's not - don't.... A lifetime ago, right?” 

“Right,” you agreed. Clearing your throat, you got to your feet and rubbed your clammy hands on your jeans. “Want a beer?” Now, you were eager to change the subject to just about anything else.

Dean looked up at you with apprehension as he accepted the bottle from you. He didn't know how much longer he could hold back his feelings. It was a decision made with his brain rather than his heart, to wait until he was sure you weren't gonna leave again. Every day was a new challenge, and he had to convince himself all over again that this was for the best, even though he desperately wanted you back in his arms. It was so clear to him now, why no relationship he’d had worked out, because no matter who they were or how happy they made him, they were never you. No one could take your place in his heart, not ever. “You know-” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, looking anywhere but right at you -”that night meant a lot to me too. And not just because I got laid for the first time,” he said with a chuckle. Typical Dean to add some joke into a serious conversation. “But because it was you.” 

The truth he spoke was clear in his emerald orbs and it damn near melted your heart. “I guess it was pretty great. Especially for two teenagers who were too immature to say the word ‘sex’ out loud,” you mused, a crooked smile on your lips. 

“You know what I think we should do?” Dean asked after a moment of silence. 

“What?” 

“We should grab some beers and head up to the lake to watch the sunset. Bring some blankets and stuff like we used to do, you know?” 

“I would like that very much,” you said earnestly. 

T&N Tags: @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @capandbuckylvr​ @superapplepie​ @sandlee44​ @eliwinchester99​ @sunflowers-n-rocknroll​

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AllThingsTags: @campingmonkey​

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[rokutouxei]

only this wonder remains

ikemen vampire: temptation in the dark isaac newton/reader | gen | 2948 | [ao3]

or: the 5 times isaac tried to understand, and the one time he realized he didn’t have to. 

for my beloved friend @pathofcomets!

happiest, happiest, happiest birthday to the absolute kindest and most loving and most encouraging person i have ever met in my entire life! i may or may not have reread your isaac fics a billion times to get him quite like you like, and if i missed, at least enjoy the fact that um, i’m having apples today in (the both of) your honor? te iubesc, mama: thank you for joining me in this stupid crazy journey that is 19th century france with vampires.

--

(one)

isaac newton likes things set into order.

math, math is great—math is numbers and patterns and those things make sense and the order is there. physics too: everything in the universe has a set structure, and it’s all just figuring out what that structure is and what it entails. isaac newton likes things in neat rows in color-coded, labeled, square boxes in his mind.

and that is everything you aren’t.

which is why isaac doesn’t quite understand how he’s fallen in love with you so fast. emotionally, yes, sure, emotions, are, he supposes, a thing, but rationally? he doesn’t understand it. where he likes predictability, you are anything but. you are new dishes being served during dinners. you are excited squealing as you’re reading a book. you are catching his hedgehog (very nervously) from its hiding nook, after it was chased by the exponentially larger dogs. you are songs he’s never heard, songs from centuries in the future. you are wide eyes and open arms and isaac doesn’t understand.

but he adores it.

appreciates it.

the day after you’d decided to stay in the mansion, and the door had stayed shut throughout the rest of the fateful, crescent-moon night, vincent takes home with him a basketful of apple strudels, gifted to him by the lovely baker downtown.

you aren’t able to get one before dinner, but just right around midnight, you remember they are there. with a sudden burst of excitement, you pull at isaac’s sleeve until he accompanies you downstairs. your eyes shine like crystals in the kitchen light as you bite into the sweet bread—and isaac… isaac doesn’t know what to do with the warmth that fills him at the sight of it.

you turn to him quickly, offering him a bite. “you like apples, don’t you?”

the sound of dazai’s and arthur’s voices compound in his head, every single apple joke thrown at his direction over the past what-feels-like-a-million-years echoing in the caverns of his skull, taunting him.

but he doesn’t mind.

he doesn’t know why he doesn’t mind being unfolded like this, but he doesn’t.

he takes a bite of the strudel and sighs at the sweetness.

“it’s delicious.”

-

(two)

he tries, he absolutely tries his damnedest to sound nonchalant, but he fails. rather miserably, too. he’s still standing at the doorway of your room, hesitating to enter even when you’d already opened the door for him.

“where are you going?”

you finish twirling a lock of hair into place, before turning away from the mirror and toward him. “ah, comte’s taking me out dress shopping.”

again, he hears you nearly say; but then why are you still going? “don’t you have enough clothes?”

securing your earrings into place, you sit up from your dresser chair to approach him. “‘the most important of the labours of a high society woman in this late 19th century,’” you begin, “‘is to look beautiful.’ … that’s what le comte always tells me.”

“labours that you already fulfil,” isaac notes. the sudden admission makes you flush, so you pull him by the wrist and guide him toward the bed. now seated next to each other, you entangle your fingers with his.

“we’ll be back before dusk,” you try to appease him. “i’ll ask comte if we can do a detour at that bakery with the strudels we like.”

for a moment, isaac is silent; his hand twitches in yours as he considers. of course, he knows that comte means no harm. if anything, the worst is that comte is quite overbearing with how gracious he is at times. there’s no reason to be feeling this way, to be even doubting, he just wanted to ask if you wanted to come with him to the university library—he has to pick up a book he forgot to borrow, and maybe, just maybe, he was thinking of a picnic while you’re already out in the city, that’s all, you can always do that some time else, and so why is he—

he groans. by jove, why is this so hard. he turns and presses his face into the junction of your shoulder and neck; the fabric of your dress is in the way of the thrum of your pulse, but not quite thick enough so he still feels your warmth.

you laugh like it tickles, and he’s about to straighten up when you take his face in your small hands, holding him at eye level to you, your gaze so beautifully clear and bright. it’s as if no matter how hard he tries, with you he is see-through.

“i’ll make it up to you,” you say, pressing a little kiss at the corner of his lip, “…tonight.”

all at once, he doesn’t understand why the sour, sour feeling in his chest suddenly tastes so sweet.

-

(three)

you were radiant.

that was, to say the least. isaac wasn’t knowledgeable about fashion, not a bit. sure, he can vaguely tell what an “average” outfit is (cue the several lengthy discussions to alleviate confusion when sebastian had kindly gifted you with a few items of clothing to wear around the mansion that were, say, anachronistic) but trends and styles are beyond him. to him, if the clothes can protect him from the elements, they are enough, and doing their job.  

but seeing you out there in the ball room? made him realize that maybe… maybe that wasn’t the only point after all.

he’s wearing the most fashionable get-up for the night (because, alas, comte would not let a single one of his residents leave without the best of suits) and yet he feels so… underdressed, looking at you.

which is probably just about right, considering this is the party to celebrate your first year spent at the mansion.

(the first of many, he hopes.)

isaac returns to memorizing the details of your outfit. a beautiful silk gown in this sort of matte gold, embellished with swathes of intricate lace. the cut of the dress is made to accentuate your best features, and oh, the low scoop of the neckline, revealing your shoulders, emphasizing the milky skin beneath, maybe, a place to sink his teeth…

you’re off to a corner of the ballroom across him, engaged in discussion with mozart and theo while you’re holding a glass of alcohol. (he knows you enough to be nearly entirely sure it’s probably a non-alcoholic drink in your glass, just the right shade to seem like so.) mozart says something that makes you laugh, hand flying to your mouth.

(isaac seethes inwardly, wonders what the pianist could have said.)

theo makes eye contact with isaac across the room, and isaac quickly turns away from the man’s pointed smile. and because he does, he doesn’t get to prepare himself for when you inevitably approach him—having been goaded by theo—bumping isaac’s shoulders lightly.

he takes half a second to curse that wily little brother-obsessed man.

“won’t the great professor ayscough honor me with a dance?”

he doesn’t understand why, doesn’t understand why allows this—for him to be tossed and turned in a surge of emotions and thoughts and things he really hadn’t bothered to consider in the past, for him to be oh so irrevocably twined around your finger.

“what makes you think you can do this to my poor heart?” he whispers, and your laugh—oh, your laugh, fills him to the very core.

-

(four)

a part of him curses napoleon for saying it; another part of him thanks him.

the three of you were on your way back to the mansion after an afternoon teaching the kids in the city at the usual spot when napoleon had—rather absentmindedly, almost as if off-handedly—mentioned that the kids seemed to be more… obedient when you were around. you’d raised an eyebrow at him, explaining that you’re actually rather, say, awkward with kids. napoleon had shrugged the comment off, going on a tangent that they seemed to be more likely to follow instructions when it was you who’d call them out, as compared to him and isaac.

and then, the heaviest words in the world.

“maybe it’s because you’re like a mother to them.”

it was too early. you and isaac had never thought of kids and—you’d never really thought of anything, rather. there was only the now, and isaac found himself rather enjoying the pace. should he have discussed this with you already? was this of utmost importance? what if you didn’t want kids with him? what if you did? what does it mean—to do that? what changes? what stays? what—

“pfft,” you chuckle. “that’s only because the two of you are more like cheeky older brothers than teachers, you brats.”

after the corresponding laughter, the conversation soon swerved to other things. but isaac couldn’t leave it at that. instead, it lingered and clawed at his brain for the following days to no end, always making its presence known at the back of his mind whenever he’s thought it’s past him. he hadn’t thought of bringing it up to you because, again, it seemed like you’d taken the entire thing in stride, as you always do, with the grace and wisdom of someone literally beyond his time…

but most importantly, because he didn’t feel like he was ready to hear the answer quite yet.

alas, the universe does not wait for one to be ready for things.

the next time the three of you are downtown, you’re humming as you produce a little jar full of homemade candy as a reward for the children’s hard work of studying. (isaac huffs a little; it’s just calculus, it’s not so bad.) the enthusiastic children rush toward you, and you gently get to their level, squatting down and handing them two candies each.

isaac… is stuck into place, watching intently as you greet each child; you know them by name, know their nicknames; you match the candy appropriately to their favorite flavors, pat them on the head, ruffle their hair, pinch their cheek gently. you compliment the little flowers the girl has put in her hair, enthuse about how the three rag-tag boys look stronger than ever.

and isaac—well, he doesn’t understand why he knows but he knows: this, this is what happiness is.

your smile, the star-like shimmer in your eyes, the sound of your laughter intermingling with those of the children the both of you (!) are raising to be dreamers and thinkers of the future.

isaac is helpless; no science can explain this; unable to do anything but allow you to knock him to his knees like a beam of sunlight shot through the prism of his heart.

flooding his world in a spectrum of colors.

-

(five)

on one night you don’t feel entirely upright, you confide your deepest fears to isaac. these were fears he’d thought were to be expected—fears that made sense—but he hadn’t realized were actually hiding in your shadows. worries and frets about the uprooting from home, the time and the place of your existence. the weight of the knowledge of what comes in the future, the foresight of it. the instability—the unsureness.

isaac does not know what to do with all this. he cradles every word in his hands, holds them so carefully like they will shatter, feels each shaky intake of your breath sink underneath his skin like some sort of warning, some sort of premonition.

of the one day you might have to let her go.

of the one day you might have to do the right thing.

of the one day it will hurt.

of the one day. and you will never understand why.

but isaac is no longer afraid of them.

(he doesn’t know why yet, but he will soon.)

instead, he holds you in his arms in the silver glow of the moonlight, until your shaking stops. until you feel gravity settle you back onto the bed, just like all that isaac had written of it. until you press your face into his chest and sigh deeply. until your exhales feel lighter, like you’ve expelled all the thick fog that rested between your bones.

and isaac… isaac doesn’t know if he should ask, if he has the right to ask, if asking will make a difference, but the part of him that constantly wants to be able to understand things makes him, so he asks—

“what made you stay?”

and the answer is so simple, it’s rather silly how he doesn’t understand.

“because i have you.”

-

(+ one)

long before he had met saint-germain and had hidden away in the count’s mansion for silence, isaac newton was, ultimately, just a mere human: one that tried to make sense of the world around him, set them into categories and definitions that were easy to understand, and thus use. but a human nonetheless. and hundreds of years back, long before the turn of the century in paris, france, in the arms of the only woman he feels like he has ever truly known to really love, there was a little fairy tale he believed in: one that they’d called the philosopher’s stone.

a stone of ridiculous, preposterous qualities. it could turn simple metals into gold and silver. it could heal all and any sort of illness. it could make someone live longer. it could turn crystals into precious stones. it could revive the dead. it could make you immortal.

just by its mere existence, it could give someone the power to turn one thing into something entirely different.

and now, with the scientific development of the late 19th century—and even further, far into the future where you’ve come (he’d asked)—there is still no philosopher’s stone. the facts are in: it is not real, and centuries spent attempting to create this enchanted thing have led to not a single step toward proving its existence. it’s a powerful thing that is too great, it just isn’t allowed to exist.

that was what isaac thought, except as of late.

because maybe… maybe the power is already in human hands.

after all, what else would have given you the ability to make him like this? how else to explain all the miracles you’ve done: to fill the parts of him that used to be hollow; to heal him of the wounds he’d been putting aside; to revive the portions of his heart that he thought—and he’d kept—long dead?

to turn him into gold?

it is morning now, just past sunrise of september 1st, and you’re lying next to him on his bed, still fast asleep. just the sound of your even breathing fills him with a breathless joy it makes him feel rather stupid. the sheer fabric of your nightgown is not enough to hide the pink, red parts where he’d kissed and marked you last night. he wants to run his fingers through your hair, but doesn’t, lest he wakes you up.

he’d pledged his humanity aside for silence, and a space to think, and oh, have you given it to him.

this is what peace feels like, he thinks.

gently, he takes out of its hiding spot a rectangular box. opens it and takes out its contents: a pair of earrings (which he’ll give you later), and a lovely golden necklace studded with pearls; little flowers and suns down to the middle, where a hefty ruby glimmers deep blood red.

just like a philosopher’s stone.

he tries not to wake you, when he strings his little gift around your neck, but the movements jostle you, and just as he clasps it closed at your nape, you wake.

you turn to face your lover with “good morning” halfway out your lips when you feel the cool of the necklace on your bare skin. you look down at the intricate piece of jewelry, the smile uncontrollable on your sweet, still sleep-hazy face.

“isaac—”

“la mulţi ani,” he says—or, well, tries to say, as his tongue curves awkwardly around the words. he does sound rather close though: he must have practiced, and practiced, and practiced.

“thank you,” you say, sitting up to face him properly. “it’s beautiful. i’ll treasure this.”

isaac’s brain is on high speed—i’m glad she liked it, i was worrying, what if she didn’t like the design, then what about the earrings, should i have given her a ring instead? no a ring is too early, this necklace is just right, also fashionable for the times. i asked comte about it—it was so damned embarrassing but i asked him, and—but he silences it, quiets it down by taking her hand in his, presses a kiss on the knuckles gently with his lips.

and, as he always has been, and always is, and always will be—he stumbles for words, clumsily trying to make sense of the thunder-lightning rumbling in his chest, how he’s supposed to say thank you for all that you have given him, all that you have made him.

so instead, he presses your hand against his warm cheek that is a fresh apple red.

“my favorite merișor,” you tease, brushing the stray hair off his face before pulling him into a gentle, warm embrace. and, well, he’d wanted to ask what that meant, but he quickly realizes it doesn’t matter, as he tucks the unfamiliar syllables of your language in his heart.

it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t understand.

and maybe, just maybe, there are things that he never will really comprehend.

but it’s okay.

he can be that merișor.

as long as he is yours, he can be anything.

--------

[title came from could i love you any more by jason mraz & reneé dominique]