#happy bday to the sponge guy!!

[cyber-corp]

[prettylittlebrownskingyal]

🎂☆ Jason Todd Birthday Week ☆ Aug 16th - JASON’S BIRTHDAY

Dickface Grayson: what do u want for ur bday baby bro?

RedNerd: a big booty hoe

Spawn: same

Wiffle: sksks DAMIAN

The family group chat is usually rather annoying. No one sleeps and no one has boundaries or tact so there’s always three hundred messages and long ass tangents (courtesy of Tim, Damian and sometimes Duke) for Jason to read over his morning coffee.

It’s a big thorn in his ass.

But it’s routine. He’s grown to expect it like he anticipates sunrise, it’s become one of those things on his mental checklist that he can never forget. Those morons keep finding more and more opportunities to weasel their way into his life and it’s so goddamn irritating that he loves it.

Which is why the lack of notifications he wakes up to makes his skin itch in an unscratchable way. His first instinct is to assume something’s wrong because there’s nothing beside that one question from Dick. But as he replies, Damian and Stephanie’s responses follow immediately— he finds relief in knowing their fine but his confusion grows.

He realizes he’s bored.

He has a three day stretch of no plans and he’s so freaking bored he kind of wants to claw his eyes out.

Dickface Grayson: i told y’all asking him wouldn’t work

Dickface Grayson: i. told. y’all.

Timbits: stop with the y’alls

Wiffle: y? cuz it reminds u of connor?

Timbits: fuck off

Wiffle: bite me

Babs: I say, we go with the original plan

Duke☀️: but how are we going to get him to go willingly go to a party?

Spawn: we could knock him out

Timbits: NO

Spawn: and just carry him there

Timbits: Damian I swear to GOD

Dickface Grayson: why can’t we do the surprise party

Wiffle: cuz he’d hate it

Wiffle: and he’d kill us

🐥Cass: let’s just get him a cupcake and call it a day

Spawn: i second that

Spawn: or we could get him an escort

Babs: DAMIAN

Spawn: put it on father’s card

Timbits: as much as I would LOVE to see that

Timbits: we can’t

🐥Cass: add it to the list for next yr dames

Babs: I have work to do, you guys plzzz come up with something.

Dickface Grayson: good luck babs

Dickface Grayson: I say party

Wiffle: i’m going with Cass and the cupcake

🐥Cass: ^^

Dickface Grayson: Damian I see you typing. Don’t say it.

Timbits: he’s Jason guys. he doesn’t want the attention of having to blow out a candle and listen to us butcher happy bday

Timbits: we need something he’d like

Wiffle: let’s just give him his presents

Wiffle: they’re all books anyway

🐥Cass: books and cupcakes

Spawn: no that’s stupid

🐥Cass: ur stupid

Spawn: ur stupider

Wiffle: Tim’s stupidest

Timbits: blocked

Dickface Grayson: CHILDREN

Dickface Grayson: babs will murder us if we don’t come up with something

Timbits: I mean…. she’ll muder you

Spawn: muder

🐥Cass: muder

Wiffle: STUPIDEST

Jason calls Alfred, texts Bruce and leaves a long winded voicemail for Barbra. She replies with three smiley face emojis and then a voice note of her reminding him that his has three days off for his birthday specifically for resting, to stop worrying about everybody else. She’s stern and sure and he knows it’s pointless to argue.

Alfred had been vague too and Bruce hadn’t replied— with all his sources dry, Jason’s left pouting in his apartment, bored out of his mind. He keeps opening and closing his apps to see if there’s been updates.

There isn’t.

RedNerd: why are you guys so AWOL

Timbits: we’re giving u a break hbd loser

RedNerd: shady

Timbits:🙃

Timbits: i’m disowning Steph

RedNerd: i’m on her side whatever it is

Timbits: traitor

RedNerd: 🙃

Jason sighs languidly. He flicks his phone to the side and watches it bounce off the couch. There’s a full five seconds in which he allows himself to release his boredom in a long, guttural groan and then he’s diving after it to check the screen. It’s not broken. He resolutes himself to reading as all else fails.

Timbits: Jay’s getting antsy

Dickface Grayson: ughh

Wiffle: what r we gonna do?

Spawn: yk

Wiffle: Damian

Spawn: shut up Brown, I was going to say that Duke had an idea.

Wiffle: oh

Wiffle: what’s ur idea sunshine?

Duke☀️: I never volunteered

Wiffle: I’m starting to like the escort thing so plz

Duke☀️: fine

Duke☀️: I’ll invite him to the manor to play PUBG

Duke☀️: no party

Duke☀️: and then we do family dinner and have Alfred make a cake

Dickface Grayson: that’s simple enough

Wiffle: and Alfie makes the cake he’ll have no choice but to accept it

Babs: good work team

Duke☀️: team?

Babs: Good Work Sunshine ☀️💛💛

He’s cleaning his kitchen for the third time when his phone vibrates. A plate is almost dropped in his haste to get to it.

Duke☀️: PUBG. Pizza. Manor?

RedNerd: yessss

The manor’s dead silent when he steps into the threshold. Alfred slips out of the kitchen to bid him a quick hello, hands him two boxes of pizza (one extra cheese and the other sausage and peppers) and shoos him up the stairs.

“You look like shit,” is what Duke says in greeting. He already has the controllers and television set up. Jason feels a little like he’s found bliss.

“I’m losing it, man. No patrol and shit for three days? I’m going to die. Again.”

“Yeah cuz I’m about to kick your ass. Hand me my pizza and sit down.”

“It’s on, sunshine.”

Dickface Grayson: Duke has him in the den. we’re jist gonna ease in one by one. Alfred’ll bring the cake, we’ll do presents and then it’s done

Wiffle: sounds good chief

Timbits: is my pizza here?

Spawn: no one ordered for you

Duke☀️: yh it’s in the kitchen.

Timbits: right, expect me first.

They play four rounds until Jason’s spent most of his pent up energy on killing opponents. Duke gets better every time he plays and he works well with Jason’s style. It reminds him that they should team up more for patrol.

Damian slinks in on his toes right as they start the fifth. He’s got a box of pizza balanced in one hand and Alfred the cat tucked under the other.

“Todd,” is all he says before plopping down on the opposing sofa.

Tim wanders in after, barefooted and rumpled. He opens his mouth to say something, spots Damian and snaps it shut. He makes a noise that reminds Jason of a busted engine. He doesn’t know what that’s about, he doesn’t want to know either.

“Timbo, take this.” He passes him the controller and yanks his skinny frame down with one arm. “Play for me so I can eat.”

“Cheating,” Duke intones.

“It’s my birthday, I can do what I want to.” They all visibly stiffen at the words. He continues, speaking quickly around a mouthful of pizza. “And also. You guys have been really weird all day. What have you been up to?”

The response is a three tiered chorus of, “Nothing.”

“The group chat was dead quiet.”

Tim is stuttering something out when Damian drops a “I wish it was,” under his breath.

Nobody says anything. He chews, swallows and waits for them to fill the silence.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Do you guys have another group chat?”

“No.”

“Why would we?”

“Yes.”

Jason’s braces himself to be as offended as he possibly can when three things happen in the space of a minute.

Tim throws a slice of pizza at Damian while Duke ducks between the cushions. The ensuing fight is so loud Jason can’t hear himself think.

Dick and Cass come stumbling through the doors with Stephanie tailing behind them— their all singing “happy birthday.” Alfred— bless him— is following along with a small sponge cake adorned with lit candles. He makes it one foot into the room before there’s a loud splatter, a scream and shouted curse.

There’s a controller in the cake.

Dick and Steph are on the ground trying to pull a shocked Damian and Tim apart while Duke sinks further between the upholstery.

“Jason,” Cass crosses around the disaster zone. She offers him a hand and gives him a firm shake. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you.” He’s still stunned, gaping down at her like a confused goldfish.

“These are for you.”

It’s a pile of hard copy classics secured by a gold ribbon. A tiny bite size cupcake sits on top.

“Thanks Cass. I really appreciate it.”

She hums, casts a glare at Damian and sways out of the room.

“Well,” Alfred snaps. “I’m going to clean this buttercream off of me while you all fix this ...mess. Master Jason, it appears I owe you a cake.”

“It’s fine, Alfie.”

Dick slams his fist to the floor, fuming. “ It’s not.”

“It’s ok—“

“Jay we’ve been trying to plan something special for you all day. This was the best we could do— just us, just a cake and some presents— and we found a way to screw it up.”

“That’s what the other group chat was for.”

Tim chimes in, rolling out of the chokehold Damian has him in.

He sees the guilt hanging around the dropped corners of their mouths like anchors. So that’s why they were so unattached, they were just being annoying amongst themselves.

“This is….it’s great actually. That,” he points to Damian on the ground. “Was quality entertainment. Duke is still a PUBG genius, which it was nice to be reminded of and this—,” he raises the books and cupcake. “—is really all I need.”

He and Dick split half of Damian’s pizza out of sheer spite. Bruce comes in at some point to let them know Alfred’s making another cake and then he somehow gets sucked into a game of Super Mario. Later, they’ll all gather around in the kitchen to force feed Jason cake and watch him open presents. It’ll be quiet and intimate and just right for him.

He’s not bored to death anymore.

Tomorrow, he’ll wake up to four hundred messages in the group chat and the world will right itself.

Wiffle: We’re all going to remember what we’re getting Damian for his bday next yr, right?

Duke☀️: lessons in decorum

Timbits: tickets to the Crayola Experience?

Timbits: tickets to Sesame Street live?

Wiffle: no

Wiffle: a trip to Home Depot to get him a big ass hoe

[antivanbrandy]

...Okay so I'm way too late because I'm way behind on my dashboard, but still, happy birthday!

@pierceaholic replied to your photo “thank you heaps guys! <3333”

                   Oh no. Sorry I missed your birthday, but happy belated birthday! <3 <3                

@bethesdong replied to your photo “thank you heaps guys! <3333”

  Hey, it's your birthday too! Happy birthday!                

thank you guys! <3 and bethesdong, if it was your birthday too happy bday right back at you! <3

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pierceaholic replied to your post “if movies about wlw (that have a happy ending!!!) are something you’re...”

Oh, thank you for the rec. I'd given it a miss because I sort of assumed based on the setting (and the nature of most wlw films) that it would end up being bleak and depressing. It's great to hear it's the opposite! I will have to check it out.                

no worries! i had the exact same assumption at first, and i’ll admit that things do look bleak at points. but i’d seen some good reviews and people expressing excitement over how the movie resolves so i thought, bugger it, i’ll give it a go, and man am i glad i did. i hope it’s to your liking too! (though, truly, the sex scenes are a bit much. like i can read the filthiest fics without batting an eye and see porn gifs on my dash and just ‘nice’, but the second there’s a sex scene in a movie or tv show i have to go take a stroll because of secondhand embarrassment and squeamishness. i dunno why, and this movie has some pretty graphic ones. still! it’s a good movie, and worth and the awkwardness i reckon xD)

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@edamahun replied to your post “Oh, I almost missed your birthday! Or it's only just starting,...”

  Ew 40C is painful. You're absolutely welcome to fly down here, it's only meant to be 27C today. :P                

oh man i’m so envious - it ended up being 46′C yesterday and it was bloody awful. it’s 42′C today and it’s gonna be 40′C for another two days before it cools back down. uuuurgh i hate summerrrrrr

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@rhea-hawke replied to your photo “*posts my Vestige for no other reason than I can*”

She's so pretty...just started playing ESO for the first time                

thank you hun! oooo, how are you liking ESO so far? which faction did you pick?

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@nightmareon3rdst replied to your post “the year is 2017, i’m going to be thirty years old in a weeks time,...”

                   ((I will do my best to remember to tag you next time we get a game together and you're awake))                

;.; thank you hun oh man, like please please dont feel pressured to include me or anything but ahh if you’ve ever got a free space i’d super love to join, i’ve been wanting to play for so many years it’s ridic

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@sablehaven replied to your post “[[MOR] i’ve never been in this much pain during a period before...”

                   It probably won't make much of a difference right now, but it might be helpful later, cranberry also helps with cramps. I hope you feel better soon, cramps like that are absolutely horrid.                

thank you for the suggestion hun, i’ve never heard that one before. i’ll be sure to give it a go next time, they’re just getting so unmanageable D:

[mayeleventwentytwelve]

Jan 2020 - May 2020

Jan 2020 - Went to El Vez for our mensiverary! Omnomnom and got back to sleeping over your house every weekend & seeing my wittle mans.

Feb 2020 - Went to Fogo for mensiversary/Valentines day. That’s where we got the buy one get one free on next visit. That’s also where you took that picture & kept saying wowww you look so handsome. We also had tres leche cake. We also hung out with Spencer & Ruby one weekend. Went to Queens and wanted to go to Dessert Kitchen but turns out they changed brand. And so we went across the street to a new spot. We also tried that bubble tea place you wanted to try out. Twas good. We also went ice skating at Bryant Park! But before that, you had a sponge cake and almost made you pass out on the train. I remember you had to sit down for like 30 minutes before feeling better. Eventually we got to ice skate for maybe an hour or so. Then we got Jamba and went to Kabayan. At the end of the month, we went to Paris! With just Ruby at first lol, and then Spencer joined once he was finished with exams.  I remember it was raining when we landed. We found our airbnb and relaxed for a little. Then we got crepes, you & Ruby got savory while I got my go to- strawberry, banana & nutella. YUM! Then we went to an ice cream spot- you made me take a picture w/ it because it looked like a vageeeena. Then we walked around a little bit, we found a park where we were trying to take pics in front of this fountain/statue but out of nowhere it started down pouring. Was so funny looking at the pictures. Then we went to a supermarket where we got snacks and ice cream and went back to airbnb. Later that night, we went to that cheese place. We had meats and a whole bunch of cheese. We each had our own melting pan, was so yummy. We got lucky because we didn’t reserve but we told them we can be done in an hour. After we were done eating, we went home & got ready for bed. Day 2 in Paris- I woke up around 11 something to messages from the airbnb host asking if we left. I was so confused and then realized I had only booked the airbnb for the one night because we were switching to the other one we had booked. So we were all rushing, and your stank a** didn’t shower the night before. None of us brushed our teeth, so we quickly got ready & left. We saw a woman and a man downstairs, but they were separate. So we put the lock back in and then come to find out, the woman was the cleaning lady. She seemed mad lol. We found a locker storage place & put our luggage in there. Then went to this breakfast spot that had a picture of a woman with big tatas and made you so happy & giddy. Then we went to St Chappelle where we walked around. Then went to Laduree and got yummy macaroons. Walked over to Musee de Orsee. Stayed there for a bit then left and ate macaroons outside. I remember walking out to some guy roasting chestnuts. And then there was a pigeon that people were taking pics of. We finished macaroons, went back home and stopped by a bakery where you guys got croissants and I got chocolate eclair. Then we got our luggage and uber’d to the new airbnb. I remember mine & Ruby’s luggage smelled so bad! Probably because it was went from the rain and then we put it in storage. Anyway, we met up with the airbnb guy & he walked us upstairs. I remember he offered to bring the luggage up for us and I was like no its ok. Meanwhile me and Ruby were dying lol. And there were those damn rods that were so loose & almost slipped on them. We finally get into airbnb- it was really nice except they had no handsoap so we had to buy. It was nice that the toilet was separate from the actual bathroom. We found a place to eat nearby - that’s where we tried snails. Then on our way back, we stopped by the grocery store, we got soap, Ruby got her pistachio ice cream & you got your bag of madeline cookies. We go back to airbnb and go to bed. Actually, that first night I remember staying up till really late and poor Ruby was standing by the couch the whole time lol. 3rd day - we went to the bakery to get a loaf of bread and some croissants. Came back to airbnb and made toast. We also bought some juice that was really good. Then waited for Spencer to come. Once he got in, we uber’d to Eiffel Tower. It was sooooo cold that day. I remember you kept asking me what I was going to wear and I had nothing nice lol. We had to wait in line for a little, then we eventually got to go up. We took our pictures & it quickly became dark. As we were leaving, the tower lit up so we took pictures. Then you made us walk to some grass area in front of the tower to take pictures. Little did I know, you were going to propose! I was so shook LOL. I just remember you positioning me for the pic and then you went to Ruby and Spencer to tell them how to take the pic. We get done and then I start walking away and you go “hey baybuh” and you drop down to one knee and say will you marry me? You were smiling and I think I was so shocked I didn’t say anything. I think I said what? Or really? Lol and you asked again and I was like omg yeah. And I teared up a little bit lol. You got me good man! I knew the moment was coming this year but didn’t think it was this trip. Then we go to some restaurant that had that beef stew. We ordered scallops I think, french onion soup & 4 of those beef stews lol. Then we go back home. We all shower and then hubba hubba lol. Next day, we go to Arc de Triumph & Catacombs. Arc de Triumph we had to walk up a bajillion stairs, I was tiyud! I was also wearing boots which didn’t help at all. Catacombs was cool, freaky but cool. Prior to Catacombs, we had Mcdonalds. I had same old but I think you guys tried something different. After Catacombs, we went to the Lourve. Where both you & Spencer took shieeeets lol. Walked around a little, then went to a restaurant. The original one we went to, there was like an hour wait so we went to some place across the street. After dinner, we went back home. I went to shower first, then Spencer/ Ruby but they used up all the hot water. So you slept outside. Last day in Paris, we found a locker spot to store our luggage since our flight wasn’t until later that day. We walked around, ate at some pho place near our first airbnb. Went to airport, got more macaroons. Then flew back to NYC.

Mar 2020 - Jensen’s first bday! Then we met up w/ Spencer & Ruby. Went to Kulu and that’s when we last saw them lol. We went to Fogo this month to celebrate mensiversary which was really risky when I look back at it now because of Rona. But we washed our hands a lot. Little did I know, that second weekend would be the last weekend I see my wittle mans :( Then we went into quarantine/ lockdown. And you have been happy and playing WOW every second of everyday while getting paid. SMH lucky bastid.

Apr 2020 - we celebrated our mensiversary eating bowl noodles and on Facetime lol. You went into work this one time and was very sad.

May 2020 - our EIGHT year anniversary! First anniversary as an engaged couple. Did we even celebrate? LOL I remember we were supposed to facetime and eat noodles but I don’t think we ever did. HMPH.