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clonewarslover55 · 2 years

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I’m sad that there’s nothing about Commander Monk too :(

May we please fix that? Maybe some SFW/NSFW headcanons :)

Hell yeah we can fix that!!! I was super excited to do this!!

This got me out of my writing funk!! I'm back babyyy

Commander Monnk relationship headcanons SFW and NSFW

(There are some general head canons as well, I had way too much fun with his character. I mention Kit Fisto a lot in here as well)

Notes: We don’t see much of Monnk so I had to make up a good portion of his character myself. Which I had too much fun doing, so this is kinda long

Also there is no official regiment name(Like the 501st or 212th) for Kist Fisto, Commander Monnk and their boys?!?!?!?!? So I think I should fix that eventually....

Gif incase you guys don't remember how smoking fucking hot he is

SFW

This man probably loves literally any body of water

He loves swimming and all that jazz

But you def meet him at coruscant drinking and relaxing with some of his fellow scuba boys

He isn’t strictly a scuba trooper

He is Kit Fisto’s 24/7 second in command, so he does work on land too

So he looks like your typical “I deal with a crazy Jedi every day and don’t get enough sleep.” clone commander

He is probably watching a few of his friends dance around and flirt poorly

As he leans against the bar with a drink in his hand

He looks kinda tired and unamused by the bar scene

But don’t underestimate him

This man is definitely a flirt

And damn is he good!!

He has learned from the best

The best? Kit Fisto

Kit has taught him how to charm the pants off of anybody

Does it work?

Maybe

But Monnk isn’t the one to not text you after a date or night of fun

You get a good morning and things keep going from there

Most of your dates are, of course, at your place

Monnk shows up with flowers and snacks

If you make dinner he would love to help!

He doesn’t know jack shit about cooking

All he can do is make a mean cup of coffee and some instant cup noodles

But he wants to learn and learn fast!

Monnk can be trusted in the kitchen too, he won’t burn down your home

As your relationship grows over time, Monnk’s cooking improves

Soon he begins to cook for you! And he's good at it!

He brags to his brothers and definitely brings some leftovers to them

Maybe he cooks for them, maybe he tells them to learn for themselves

It’s both

Like all clones, Monnk is touched starved

This man just wants some cuddles

And for someone who isn’t a fellow clone to braid his hair

Monnk definitely has long hair

And melts when you run your fingers through it

Tracing your fingers along his stubble? He is goo in your hands

Just touch him, he needs it

He tries to look all cool and badass (He thinks he is too)

With his matching tattoo sleeves (definitely matches his armor markings and colorings)

And his cool hair and five o’clock shadow

And that tired look in his eyes

But he is just a big ol’ teddy bear who wants love

And you are here to provide it

Monnk is a big time cuddler

He loves being your weighted blanket

Just holding you and touching you makes his heart content

This does mean that he is a slight fan of PDA

He isn’t extreme with it or too possessive

Just a tiny bit

He loves holding your hand, fiddling with your fingers

Monnk doesn’t mess around when it comes to falling in love

He falls HARD for you (The feeling is of course mutual)

And is soon making himself right at home in your Coruscant apartment

You definitely buy him some cozy pajamas and sweatpants

So he can lounge around in comfort

In turn he brings you back presents from his missions

It is often a beautiful rock or a pretty seashell

Working as a scuba trooper means he has many opportunities to find you cool things

And boy does he! You have a lot of cool things from his adventures

Mostly seashells, but one time he brings you home a big ass tooth

Monnk has a tiny tiny hint of surfer bro in him

A TINY BIT

He is flirtatious and very charming

But sweet!

He definitely picked up a bit of Kit Fisto’s personality

So he has great humor and keeps you on your toes

In every way ;)

Sometimes when he comes home, he’ll just haul you up into his arms and give you a spin

Monnk loves doing anything he can to keep things interesting and fresh

Everytime he comes home after a mission you get a different kind of greeting

But he always, ALWAYS, gives you a big kiss

This man is obsessed with your lips and giving them smooches

Which you don’t mind because this man is an excellent kisser

But something he is better at is being a good friend and listener

He will always be your shoulder to cry on

He always listens to what you have to say

Monnk loves every story you have

He has some good ones himself!

You two can spend hours just talking to one another

Enjoying each others company is the perfect date for Monnk

That and bubble baths

He loves water, and is in it often, so baths are a good time for him

He’ll try to be romantic

And boy howdy is he!!

He’ll try to set up cute dates and outings with you

He demands one, sometimes two, date nights per leave

Monnk gets leave often, not as much as the 501st of course

Kit is needed on Triple Zero(Coruscant) often

Monnk tries his hardest to spend every moment with you

If he can’t he will make up for it

Monnk thinks you are absolutely beautiful/handsome and lets you know!

He is always telling you how much he adores and loves you

And how magnificent you are

He always has some compliments to give you

He’ll notice the smallest things too

New haircut? He loves it!! New jewelry! He loves it, especially since it's on you!

Being in war leads to PTSD, and of course most, if not all, of the clones have it to a degree

Including Monnk

His comes in nightmares, so he doesn’t sleep well or often

Until he meets you

The first night he sleeps in your bed he sleeps like the dead

He sleeps so much better at your side

Holding you in his arms or being held in yours just helps!

This doesn’t mean that the nightmares stay away completely

He still has them from time to time

But with you there to help? They’re never as bad as they used to be

Monnk absolutely loves you, and he tells you daily

He has to make sure you remember after all ;)

NSFW

I feel like Kit Fisto makes sure his men know how to properly fuck

He has a slideshow or something

So Monnk knows what he is doing down there

He has a good memory and is a fast learner

So he quickly learns what makes you tick

And he never forgets

Monnk is very attuned at what you like

Monnk wants nothing more than to pleasure you

He’ll make sure to always do what you like

Kinky or not!

Monnk is down for anything

Not at anytime though, he isn’t really down for public sex

He doesn’t want to get caught or in trouble

Unless it is on a beach, one of his fantasies is taking you to a nice quiet beach somewhere and just railing you

Maybe even having another round in the ocean afterwards

Being a scuba trooper means he has a good set of lungs

So when he is giving you oral he doesn’t need to take a single breather

He is down there and giving you the works!

Monnk loves your taste, and he makes sure you know it by his pleasant noises

His scruff always tickles you a bit, but it just adds to to the sensation

Monnk is VERY patient, especially when it comes(pun intended) to you

He can spend hours just teasing you

Bringing you to the very edge, just to not let you cum

He loves teasing you some, but he isn’t too extreme

But he never leaves you hanging! He always makes sure you cum

No matter what, you’re going to cum. Even if it is just a quickie!

Always making sure you cum is his one rule

Is this a rule that Kit Fisto gave him? Definitely, and Monnk is a good rule follower

Which makes things fun when he isn’t topping

If you two ever play any “games” where he has to listen to you and follow orders? Oh he will

Monnk will do anything for you, he loves you so much! He’ll try anything once

Monnk will also cum where ever you want him too, he’ll do it pretty much anywhere

Inside you, painting you in it, whatever you want

All clones have a bit of a breeding kink, but his isn’t too bad

So he doesn’t HAVE to cum inside you, but he does enjoy it

Painting you in it also does something to him

He just enjoys marking you, no matter if it is with cum or with love bites

He loves kissing you during sex, his mouth hardly leaves your body

He just can’t help himself! You’re just so kissable

Monnk is a romantic, so he loves some soft intimate nights

Fucking you slowly, hitting every spot so perfectly

But he isn’t always soft and romantic

Sometimes he fucks like a beast

He loves taking you roughly until you’re both spent and out of breath

Monnk enjoys when he has time with you, so he has time to properly worship your body

Monnk thinks you are the most beautiful person in the galaxy

And he lets you know!

Through words, praises, and actions

He loves praising you during sex, he is always throwing compliments and soft phrases your way

He likes praise in return, but he prefers touch

Run your nails down his spine, make him shiver

Bury your hands into his hair, it’ll drive him nuts

Any sort of touching, rough or soft, drives monnk wild

Monnk enjoys quickies, but he doesn’t like them as much because he can’t do much aftercare, if any at all

He also doesn't like it because he doesn’t have the amount of time to properly worship your body

He is great at aftercare, he makes you feel so loved and cared for

He’ll clean you up and sometimes even draw up a warm bath

Bathtub sex almost always happens though

He loves some good ol’ sex in some water

But it all depends on what you guys did and how tired you are

Because sometimes Monnk will leave you both so spent that you want to sleep immediately

He’ll give the softest kisses afterwards

After you guys cool down and relax in the afterglow, he is down for pillow talk

He actually loves pillow talk

But by the end of the night, he makes sure you fall asleep safe and sound in his arms

#commander monnk #monnk #kit fisto #clone troopers #clone trooper #Star Wars the clone wars #clone wars #aqua trooper #scuba trooper #he has no like official regiment like the 501st :(#new obsession??? Scuba troopers #Star Wars #tags tags and more tags #I love Monnk now too much guys #someone send me another ask for him #he needs more content and I gotta make that #Likes AND reblogs keep me sane guys :)#my stuff

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theauthorlives · 2 years

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What’s their favorite movie? / What’s their favorite food?

for yance :D

Character Questions (Accepting!)

@ship-status

"Movie... Movie..." He murmurs to himself, snapping his fingers like it would jog his memory. "I ain't no movie buff. I haven't seen none of those big recent ones. If a TV's on, I usually flip to sport or some shit. Saying that, there's this one me and Sparkles McGee and Bam-Bam all crammed into they's cell for 'bout a year or two back and we try to make it a mission to watch it together if any of us catches wind that it's gonna be on again.. The fuck was the name of it.... It was 'bout, uh...This guy, and he had to dress in drag so he could see his kids without his wife knowing. Maybe he was divorced? Can't remember that bit. Great movie, whatever it was called.

Eh, it'll come back to me. Food ain't so hard to answer. We got a fairly set menu. Certain days give you certain things, and youse can see people picking and choosing based on that. 'Course, most of them can order stuff in commissary and cook themselves, but folks like me just gotta make do with what we can get.

When I do got enough cash, there's this one brand of dry noodles I like. It's probably 'sposed to be mixed in with something else to make it more sufficient but between you and me it's good enough to eat on it's own. See, it's got this sauce pack - kinda like soy sauce, but a bit fruitier - that really brings out the flavour of the dried stuff. I got this little bottle of chili flakes that adds a nice kick once you add a little shake. Not too much! Don't want no burning of the mouth.

Oh! Mr.s D.oubtfire. That's the one. It was so fucking funny. Don't get me wrong. I do love me a good action or adventure movie where the hero gets to beat the shit outta a bunch of bad guys, but there ain't nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned comedy."

There's a pause, followed by a thoughtful expression.

"Maybe I oughta try and watch more movies. Might help imagine what the world's like out there..."

#food tw #yancyheadcanon #(the urge I had to say O.liver and C.ompany was so strong but I decided to do the right thing and pick something else xD)

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40sandfabulousaf · 2 months

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大家好! The stall selling fish soup and porridge also sells zha jiang mian (noodles with pork and bean sauce) and I wanted to try it. ML, MI, SC and I returned to the stall and I ordered my fix. What can I say? Every version so far has been amazing. The savoury sauce coats every strand after tossing, the noodles are chewy, the pork is tasty and, for this version, the Chinese spinach adds texture. What I also like is the little bowl of peppery broth, which appears to be the same one served with their ban mian (board noodles). This meal was very delicious, it kept me so full, I couldn't stomach dinner and it cost $4. Can't wait to return and try their other menu items!

Back to sushi because why not. I decided on an all-salmon meal and grabbed a tray of nigiri sushi as well as a tray of sashimi. After paying, I sat down to eat. This is my favourite way of eating salmon, especially on a scorching hot afternoon. It's hard to pick which I prefer, but sashimi probably wins by a small margin. I may have a full sashimi lunch down the road after I've tried other meal options at this Japanese corner. They have unagi and cooked scallops with rice as well as yakitori and rice bentos which look very tempting.

youtube

ML, SC and I returned to the Hakka yong tau foo stall because we couldn't get enough of the delicious, perfectly-seasoned pork used to stuff vegetables as well as tofu items and fragrant chilli sauce. Customers can also choose curry gravy instead of clear broth, but we like the broth. Besides the curry gravy might mask the taste of the pork. This time, ML and I skipped the noodles and ordered the larger serving of 6 pieces (the regular with noodles comes with 4 pieces). I can't decide which I like better, both were so tasty. But I think I'll order meepok again the next time because it's hard to resist my favourite noodles.

I'm still doing the 250 calorie challenges out of compassion for Palestinians in Gaza. I just don't share them as often. This genocidal war is still ongoing and the official death toll inches closer to 40,000 by the day. Starvation is spreading in the war-torn strip and my heart goes out to the Palestinians who continue to suffer so much. I also no longer trust countries which proclaim themselves as the champions of human rights whilst supplying weapons to Israel. What is committed against Palestinians is barbaric, cruel, wicked and downright evil and they're indirectly facilitating it.

These countries are so shameless, I can't even. So yeah, there's nothing left to say because at this point, I'm wholly disgusted. We've reached an age of depravation when the brutal murder of another human being is somehow celebrated and justified. These are very dark times for mankind and it makes me wonder how the rules based order serves humanity when thousands of innocent lives are ended in such barbaric ways. Some countries just don't deserve to lead the world. 下次见!

#Youtube

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girldigital · 7 months

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Yankee wanker part trois

Building some more evidence that is not going to help me feel more at home here in the slightest. I was thinking about the birthday I had in New York and how my birthday post, were I to make one, would now probably come a year late, but also how that is an experience that I couldn’t have had here. It’s funny. I’ve seen Kode9 in New York and I’ve seen Kode9 in London and both experience were drastically different. Is it fair of me to compare them? Probably not. However, I will.

To talk about the day I saw Kode9 in New York, I need to rewind all the way to the very start of the day, the moment midnight struck. I turned 26 in some random guy’s apartment. His friends had left a few minutes prior, leaving only G and I with him as he plowed through blow with baseball still playing on his TV. There was one of those light up waterfall frames on the floor next to it. We left not too long after and I grabbed myself a bacon egg and cheese to celebrate my old age. The morning after, I was surprised by a birthday breakfast, with a candle propped up in the middle of my pancake. G really is such a perfect friend to have. Anyway, I don’t remember much of the rest of my day up until the evening. G and his friend had bought this antique Samovar and had propped themselves up in front of Bossa at night, offering tea for a dollar to anybody who wished to have one in the wee hours of the night. This was going to be their second iteration, in the middle of Maria Hernandez park. I crossed paths with Umru on our way to share tea with strangers. The evening started pretty quietly, with mostly friends joining us to share a relaxing beverage out of this Russian contraption. As the night went on, more and more people joined us, exchanging giggles and dances. There was a group of older Latino gentlemen next to us, gratuitously taking care of DJing the evening with the help of their giant boombox. Both of our groups ended up merging after a member of our tea party pointed out the shirt one of these men was wearing said, unbeknownst to him: “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum”. We danced so much they went and bought this massive bottle of wine and I finally revealed to the group that today was actually my birthday. So here I was, in the middle of this park in Brooklyn, happily cheering with a bunch of strangers of all ages to my 26th year of life on this silly planet. Hard to say if any birthday is ever going to top this, especially since the night wasn't even over yet. We still had to head to Silo to catch the man of the hour, legend Kode9. He was playing live which is always bittersweet for a serial Shazamer and obsessive archivist. On one hand, it is pretty sad to think this might be the last time I hear some of these melodies. On the other, it is freeing to attend a show and only have to focus on the now, forced to fully lose yourself to the music. I think we had taco truck food after, then I went back home, one year wiser.

Now on to London….

Well, I went to see Kode9 on the Friday of my first week at my new job. I had gone out for drinks with my co-workers, as brits do, and I must say: I got wasted like shit. Spent a nice chunk of the night talking with this person I think didn't match me on Hinge and they were pretty cool. Anyway, I got drunk bitch. Like real drunk. I remember walking to my place on autopilot, mindlessly calling the Chinese joint on my way in order to pick up the noodles I had just started craving out of nowhere. I went inside, devoured, napped for literally 10 minutes and went out to London’s attempt at their very own Berghain (or maybe not but they did also confiscate my Mini DV...). I also kind of forgot that they actually care about poppers here and the hag at the door took my freshly Paris-imported golden bottle of pleasure and threw it in the bin. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the klepto in me (most likely a mix a both), but the moment she turned away, I did just snatch my bottle right back. Once inside, the music was good, but my God was I not well. I sat on the floor for a little and a few people came up to me to check up. When I couldn’t handle it anymore, I stepped out and sat out for a little nap, only to get told by security that I had to leave if I was to sleep. I think I got approached by 4 or 5 people in total during my first hours there, just asking me if I was fine. Anyway, after I sobered up a little, I could finally enjoy the music a little more. The music was good obviously, but you can only enjoy yourself so much when in that state I think, especially when you're by yourself. I went to the smoking section for some air, and potentially make a friend like I tend to do in the city that owns my heart. Instead, I got a man coming up to me asking me if I was dressed as Ash Ketchum. He told me I could join him and his friends and needless to say, I went back on the dancefloor, by myself. I caught what I could of kuffiyeh-wearing DJ Paypal, but my battery (both human and phone) was running dangerously low. I chose to be cheap and commute home. B and I were texting and she mentioned a bacon sandwich from Wendy’s which made me crave the same bacon egg and cheese I got the day I turned 26. However, as you can imagine, that is not possible to get at 4:30am in South East London. Thus, my still slightly inebriated ass decided to walk in the first 24 hour shop I saw to try and get bacon to make myself one at home. I walked in the first store I saw with lights on. There were 3-4 guys standing at the door, smelling of weed who might have said something as soon as I came in. All of a sudden, I felt my common-sense re-entering my body, feeling unsafe for the first time since being here. As I was leaving, bacon-less mind you, one of them tells me his friend wants my number. Headphones on ears, I pretend not to have heard and start power walking the fiercest way imaginable. After all, I was slightly drunk girl, alone, in the middle of the night, about a 15 minute walk away from home, with nobody to come rescue me in case of emergency. These guys easily could’ve done horrible things to me if they wanted and I’m very grateful they didn’t. After what felt like the longest strut ever, I got home, exhausted and still anxious, barely remembering most of my evening. That was the time I saw Kode9 in London.

Are you getting it now?

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scentedchildnacho · 1 year

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I hadn't read George simmel before he sat down and asked me why I live here.....so annoyed by the dominant tone asked him what he is talking about what a banal thing to ask of no relevance and I asked him why he was such an edgy man what happened to you anyway that your such an edgy man....and the simmel sociology explained his ego can't function without the blaise character he is being Blaise not edgy ......

Then he kept going at me with do you like it here and what's your plan the cops are going to clean sweep.....so again I was like God man so banal and heretics burned at the stake....meaningless all the time what you mean plan what are you talking about in what benevolent universe do you plan things or is plan the you are not special universe and if the black hole sucks everything into ease the pain....

I was like no man you you sitting there drinking and playing possessed and smoking draws cops other people can't cry about their hard life and their broken back and their busted jaw and throat lesion other people got to keep themselves together cops is you man you are who attract cops other people hurt enough and leave those people alone....

Maybe you should take some responsibility for coming around as such an edgy man...when is the possession going to end

Now did you care if I got to be drunk by now in some area free of cop business no...and so you have to get reported

Awful spoiled veteran doesn't care if only he gets to be drunk and is in the most camera space

Its okay I dont cry when I realize I probably won't ever see a way clearly out of this and this will be all life is just so you know I don't cry or anything anymore

Then I was like sober living can be a nice place so why don't you go to sober living.....and he said it costs money....

And he lives in Malibu and he will go home...so I was like yea if you can go home go there

Messianic or apostolic I don't know man I'm going to be patient till a christ figure arrives then like the stories of the bible....I'm going to finally see a city not a hell hole for women like rapid urbanization to cause factory institutions and angel jail births then I will pick up my mat like the colonial war didn't partially blind and deaf me and go to the shine ing city

Or there won't be any Scorpio rising victory in the end and all my strikes of subtly awful labor conditions will be meaningless and the bad gook will turn everything into pho noodles and no one ever will care if anyone is anyone it will all just be Them and I lose and die

But if you ask me the good in the end gets to win...and all your bullshit pessimism and utilitarian justification of ruining people's lives in the name of saving their life will just not inhabit haunt and torture people anymore

Homelessness....simm theory isn't relevant though he is though merely fashionable.....it's not as important as doomsday theory....like the stimulus that is trying to get you to leave your rural customs was threatening to freeze your pipes and collapse the roof on you

Nor can a hyper stimulus like anti freeze constantly blowing into the house have any comment on the innate or instinctual character of the human being but if your going to be that sped up you could make a pen name like Anne Rice to believe you channelled vampires

I did want him to tell me what happens to veterans and their kids though that they don't have inhibitions and show low impulse control...

Iraq attacking Muslim children for cult military rapes...what happens to you all on base I suggest something truly frightening

What happened to me brain washing...I had to go to the dentist and endure a sodomite military rape also.....then Osama bin laden said my religion doesn't get to go no...I'm inherently eve ill to al quaida and fill up the world with mean spirited prudes like Pakistanis that appear pretty at first and later make an inverse Foucault painting on what a mean religion is...

If you ask me if I had to be disturbed as a child by true nightmares then I think you saw people hang people or cut them up...

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luvnami · 3 years

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𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - wahh it’s here! can’t believe my brainrot of osamu teaching a cooking class turned into this long fic lol... i hope you enjoy it!! it was fun crafting the story with my beta readers and i put a lot of effort into it!!! itadakimasu <3

𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @forgetou @amjustagirl (muacks 2x) + tq to everyone who helped me with the banner!!

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - you’re suna’s younger sibling, food, heartbreak, angst but happy ending, mentions of stabbing (joke), kita dances to ‘ice cream’ by selena gomez and blackpink, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood (brief), suna beats (redacted) up

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - miya osamu x gn!reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - you fall in love with miya osamu once more, but you’re afraid of getting hurt again.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 5535

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢

1. Cook the rice according to your rice cooker, then transfer the cooked rice to a separate bowl to cool it down.

“What ya want t’do is scorch the soy sauce.”

The class presses themselves against Osamu’s workbench as they scribble down notes on their recipe printouts. Their lips purse to ooh and aah at his cooking skills, though you’re pretty sure that they’re more interested in how his biceps flex when he flips the wok with a trained flick of the wrist.

You stand at the very edge of the group. It’s better than getting close with a group of hungry housewives, really. If grocery store and department mall sales have ever told you anything, it’s to never get in the way of what a seasoned housewife wants. Unfortunately for you, you haven’t learnt the way of being a homemaker just yet.

You’re unemployed, right in the middle of a month and a half-ish long transfer between jobs. You currently stay at your brother Suna’s place — which is really just an apartment filled with dirty laundry overflowing from its seams.

Turns out Suna himself is a bit of a gossip. He told Kita who told Atsumu who told Osamu that you’re stuck at his place 24/7 with no friends or entertainment in the lovely city of Nagano. It’s just mountains and trees as far as the eye can see all around — and there’s only so many hikes you can take each week.

“Why don’t you take a cookin’ class?”

“Cookin’?” Your face screwed up in confusion. “ What for?”

“So that you can actually pull your weight around the house and make me something to eat.”

You chucked a pillow at his head and began to list all the things you did while staying at his apartment. Laundry, cleaning the floor, doing grocery shopping (even if it was only instant noodles and snacks), finding his disgustingly sweaty socks under the sofa and many other important chores, thank you very much.

Besides, you weren’t as eager when you saw who was the one that would be holding the classes. With his picture plastered across the front of a pamphlet, your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. Years of chasing his dreams and training in a kitchen had done Osamu wonders.

You had half a mind to smack Suna in the head with the yellow, glossy paper, but instead you quietly tucked it into a corner of the guest room to look at later. You were sure Suna hadn’t forgotten your history with Osamu just yet — but perhaps he assumed that enough time had passed to heal your wounds.

Either way, there’s no going back now. That’s how you ended up at Osamu’s ‘Cooking class for homemakers — you can do it too!’, except you aren’t a homemaker. You shift your weight from one foot to the other as the sound of sizzling soy sauce fills the air. Osamu pauses for a while before beginning to mix the rice with the sauce, wielding his spatula and wok expertly like weapons.

“Miya-san, you’re amazing!” someone gushes.

He lets out a bashful laugh. “This is nothing. I’m sure everyone will be able to do this by the end of class today!”

You wonder if he’s ever considered being a teacher. The demonstration on how to make shrimp fried rice is soon over and everyone returns to their benches, eager to try out the recipe. You are no different. Scurrying to your bench at the very back of the classroom, you exchange glances between the printed recipe handout and your tray of ingredients.

“Need any help?”

Osamu’s voice and looming presence makes you jump.

“Woah! Careful there,” he chuckles, his fingers gently prying a knife out of your hands.

Unconsciously, you had raised it in shock when Osamu snuck up on you. The knife now lays safely on the tabletop and you feel the eyes of the entire class boring into you.

“Sorry, Miya-san. I didn’t see you,” you apologise meekly.

“Don’t worry about it, I shouldn't have scared ya like that. And no need for the formalities! You’re my friend’s sister, afta’ all.”

Oh goodness. You half expect the class to pick up their pots and pans and run at you right this moment. You swallow back the half hearted ‘Osamu-san’ that rises in your throat. Your heart trembles in your chest and for a second, the silence that weighs heavily between the both of you turns awkward.

“Miya-san! Could you help me with this please?”

You’ve never been so glad to hear Tachibana’s sickly shrill voice before. Osamu is quick to wave goodbye to you before hurrying over to her bench, a smile still on his face. You breathe a sigh of relief.

You make a mental note to tell Suna that Osamu should just stick to placating those housewives and leave you the hell alone. The last thing you want is to have blackmail spread around the neighbourhood by these gossipy housewives, or worse, have their daughters hunt you down and chop you up into pieces.

Whatever. You’re just here to learn how to make shrimp fried rice and then go home to your annoying older brother. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be here for long. Miya Osamu just happens to be the local heartthrob, the handsome and eligible bachelor chased by anyone single and ready to mingle. You have absolutely nothing to do with someone so popular and good-looking. And for goodness sake, he’s your brother’s high school friend and your… Well, you know.

Your face burns and you pick up the knife again, grip tightening on its handle. You begin chopping at the onions with renewed determination.

(Later on, when you bring back a tupperware of fried rice for Suna, he looks you in the eye and asks “Shrimp fried this rice?”.

You shoot him a glare.

“I fried this rice.”)

2. Prepare all the fillings that you are going to use and set aside, such as pickled plums or tuna mayo. Prepare your seaweed sheets.

What you don’t expect is for Miya Osamu to show up at your doorstep the next day with boxes of food, cartons of drinks and a very noisy brother of his in tow.

“Rin, where can I leave the drinks?” Osamu yells.

“Rin, can I play your PS5?” Atsumu shouts.

You think that they are very different, the Miya twins. Suna takes a minute to finish putting on some clothes (you had answered the door, thankfully. No one wants to see Suna Rintarou in Pikachu boxers) before bursting out of his room.

He’s quick to smack Atsumu’s ‘dirty little setter hands’ away from his precious Playstation, directing Osamu to what constitutes the apartment’s kitchen — a second-hand fridge and the building-installed gas stove that works only if you hit it hard enough. You’re surprised that neither you or Suna haven't died of a house fire or gas poisoning by now.

It doesn’t take long for the other Inarizaki alumni to arrive at Suna’s apartment in a series of doorbell rings. Kita even brings along a large bottle of sake, to which everyone cheers loudly. You don’t understand why they had chosen Suna’s place to have a reunion party. Seriously, wouldn't Onigiri Miya or some other izakaya have been a better choice?

However, there’s free flow of drinks and lots of yummy snacks, so you decide to let the noise wash over you and stand by the food table to pick at the trays of pizza, fried chicken and other finger food. Aran even offers you a drink, smiling sweetly before going off to wrangle Atsumu from trying to initiate a beer chugging competition. Some things just never change, you suppose.

“Having fun?”

You jump and nearly drop the plate of food that you hold.

“You have a horrible habit of scaring people, Miya- Osamu.”

His first name comes out awkward, tumbling off of your tongue as you use a pair of chopsticks to carefully pile back some mentaiko mayonnaise onto a slice of tamagoyaki. Osamu settles into the crook of the kitchen counter next to you with a playful grin on his face.

“Do I really?”

“Don’t forget that the first time you did that, someone nearly got stabbed.”

You pop the tamagoyaki into your mouth. It’s delicious — the egg’s sweetness balances out the salty sauce. You wonder if there’s enough left on the tray for seconds.

“How’s the reunion going?” you ask nonchalantly, and shuffle a few centimetres away from him.

You hope Osamu doesn’t notice that. He does, however, but chooses not to comment on it. He brings up a hand to scratch at his neck, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. He’s close enough for you to get a whiff of whatever cologne he’s wearing. Your head spins for a second.

“Oh, none of us have gotten drunk just yet. I’m pretty sure we’ll be playing beer pong or something later on.”

You steel yourself against the urge to look at what Osamu is wearing. Don’t look, don’t look, definitely don’t look. Miya Osamu is, has been, a dangerous man to fall in love with. You can’t afford to-

Perhaps gouging your eyes out would have been a better choice in theory. Even a glance from where you stand beside him is enough to see that not only is he wearing a tight, black T-shirt, Osamu also has a pair of sweatpants on. Is it a sin to wear sweatpants? Probably so, especially with the way it makes your throat run dry.

“Beer pong, huh?” You try your best to mumble somewhat nonchalantly. “Who won the last time?”

“Kita.”

“Kita?!” you gasp.

Even that’s enough to make you forget about Osamu and his stupid (and very sexy) sweatpants.

“Yeah, right? That was the first time he participated. All of us got left drunk in the street, so we decided to do it at someone’s place this year.”

You let out a soft laugh at the thought of a bunch of grown men piled over each other on the road. You don’t particularly like the thought of cleaning up after them tonight, though.

The lack of words between you and Osamu descends into snorts of laughter that trickle in from the tiny living room. Aran throws his head back, drink nearly spilling out of his cup. Ginjima laughs so loud you see Omiomi cover his ears and Suna holds his phone up, filming every second of Atsumu’s defeat.

Osamu opens his mouth as if to ask you something.

“C’mon! Yer killin’ me, Kita-san!” Atsumu yells, socked feet and waving arms trying to match the onscreen character’s movements.

Kita, on the other hand, is scoring perfect marks without as much effort wasted. You giggle to yourself as he moves his hips, shaking them here and there. A small smile quirks his lips upwards as he finishes with a flawless ending move on ‘Ice Cream’, the Just Dance characters fading into oblivion on the screen. Atsumu crumbles to the floor in defeat.

Osamu’s lips form a straight line as he watches you laugh along, raising a hand to cover your mouth. He curses Atsumu’s birth and swallows back his embarrassment.

“Did ya see that, Osamu? Oh- Kita-san is so good at everything!” you gush.

“Atsumu just sucks.”

When you laugh, Osamu thinks something in his chest lurches. Regret makes his head go foggy and leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

3. Place cling wrap over a rice bowl. Place some of the cooked rice over the centre of the cling wrap and make a well.

“No way ya got a love letter!” Atsumu yelled.

“Ya get yer fair share. We share t’same face, why shouldn’t I get some?” Osamu retorted, rolling his eyes.

Suna watched as the twins began to gripe and argue about who was the better looking sibling again. Nothing unusual, really, given how this occurred every odd day of the week.

“S’gotta be a prank. No way someone likes a loser like you,” Suna mused.

In retaliation, Osamu threw him a stink eye. “You two are just jealous,” he sniffed.

The letter had been written on pretty pink paper, all hearts and cute handwriting as his secret admirer asked him to meet them on the roof after school. Not that Osamu wasn’t affected by it, of course. It always rubbed his ego the right way to know that someone preferred him over Atsumu. Though, it wasn’t like he was interested in anyone then. It only took a second before Osamu ripped the letter in half.

“Woah woah woah! Yer crazy! Whatcha gonna do if some pretty girl gave that to ya?”

Atsumu’s eyes widened in shock, almost reaching forward to grab the shreds of letter that Osamu had torn up.

“Does it matter? S’not like I’m interested in datin’ right now,” he replied.

“Seriously? What if she’s like, super duper hot!”

Osamu’s face screwed up. “Are ya a horndog?”

Just as Atsumu was about to shout at his dear brother again, you opened the door to their classroom and hurried in. You had a bento box in hand and a cute pout on your face as you placed it on Suna’s table.

“Rin! You forgot your bento at home again!”

“Oh.” Suna blinked. “Thanks.”

“Seriously, you gotta stop forgetting your things! I can’t be bringing them to you all the time-”

“Hey, Suna.” Atsumu perked up, referring to you. “Would ya go on a date with Samu or me? Me, right? Definitely me!”

Your face flushed with heat. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“‘Samu got a love letter in his shoe locker this morning. Cliche, huh?” your brother said between bites of his lunch.

“Mm, yeah. Cliche,” you mumbled.

You looked around anxiously for any sign of the love letter. Was it in Osamu’s bag?

“Can ya believe he tore it up?” Atsumu laughed.

“What?”

Your heart felt like a stone in your chest as you froze, your blood running cold.

“Yeah! This dumbass doesn’t know how t’appreciate anythin’,” he replied, smacking Osamu on the back of his head.

His twin responded with a muffled growl as he continued to scarf down his absurdly large bento. You fiddled with the cuffs of your sleeves, staring down at your feet. You were quick to bid the third years goodbye as you fled their classroom as an inexplicable ache spread through your chest.

You didn’t focus on your classes for the rest of the day. The fact that Osamu had torn your love letter, written with all your heart and soul as you crumpled draft after draft last night, tipped you over the edge of your fantasies and had you plummeting straight into reality.

“Oi.”

You looked up from your feet, glancing up at Suna. The both of you were swapping your indoor shoes for outdoor ones, but you had absentmindedly stopped in the middle of slipping your right foot into a shoe. It was nearing the time where they closed the school gates, so there weren’t many students around save for the odd volleyball club member.

“What’re you doing? Put your shoes on properly,” he huffed.

“Sorry,” you said quietly, and slammed the locker door shut once you were done.

You walked a few feet ahead of Suna as you approached the school gate. Your head drooped with each step, tears beginning to mist your eyes. You willed yourself to hold it in till you got home, till you were in the safety of your bedroom to start sobbing your little heart out. Suna tugged on your wrist.

“Are you crying?” he questioned.

You shook your head quickly, rubbing your eyes with the back of your sleeve.

“Oi. Answer me.”

This time, his voice was a little softer, yet held a mixture of irritation and anger behind a crumbling wall of apathy. Who had been the one to make you cry?

“It’s nothin’,” you choked out. “Let’s just go home.”

You turned your face to the side as tears continued to roll down your cheeks, muffled cries turning into heartbroken sobs. Something inside of Suna’s head clicked.

“It’s Miya Osamu, isn’t it?”

You had to bite on your lower lip to stop it from trembling.

“That bastard tore up your letter, didn’t he?”

You gave Suna the tiniest of nods. He let go of your wrist and whipped around, eyebrows furrowed together. Not wanting to date was one thing, but treating your confession like dog shit was something else. Fortunately for him, the Miya twins were changing their shoes in the getabako.

“‘Samu!” Suna yelled.

The gray haired male looked up with a face of confusion.

“Suna? Whaddya want-” Osamu wasn’t able to say anything more as Suna’s fist collided with his face.

Atsumu jumped back with a yelp as the both of them crashed to the ground. Your hands flew to cover your mouth.

“Rin! Stop it!” you cried out.

You dashed over, tripping over your own feet as you tried to pull Suna away from Osamu as they traded blows. It took the work of you, Atsumu and Ginjima (who had been unlucky enough to pass by) to tear the two apart, and even then Osamu was still struggling in his brother’s arms to be let go.

“What t’hell, man!” he snarled.

Suna wiped his nose, glancing briefly at the crimson that stained his school uniform. The adrenaline was beginning to run low and pain began to settle into his fists and ribs. His shoulders heaved with each breath, and your hands clutched his shirt.

“Rin. No more, please,” you begged, pressing your forehead against his back. “No more.”

Suna hated the way your voice trembled as you spoke. He didn’t think it was fair for you to bear the burden of pain while Osamu got to walk away unscathed, leaving you broken in pieces. His fist curled up again.

“It’s not worth it, Rin.”

Suna took in a shaky, deep breath.

You were right.

Miya Osamu wasn’t worth it.

4. Put about 1tbsp of the filling of your choice on the centre of the rice and cover it with rice.

A week comes and goes after the annual Inarizaki reunion. You’re still finding sticky stains on the floor, as well as food wrappers tossed behind the sofa. Suna sends the group chat a video of you yelling at all of them while wielding a mop with so much fervour Aran asks if you broke it. Atsumu actually apologises and Osamu offers to come over and help clean up. The entire group chat flames him immediately.

As per last week, you walk into Osamu’s cooking class at 2p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. It’s hot outside, droplets of perspiration rolling down your nape. The cool air-conditioning of the classroom is much appreciated and you don your apron behind the gaggle of housewives. You catch snippets of their conversation as they put their items in the cubbies provided.

“Tanaka-san, did you see the mushrooms that were on sale this Monday?”

“My son is attending this cram school this summer. Here’s the address!”

“My father-in-law keeps complaining about the heat…”

“Good afternoon, everyone.”

“Miya-san!”

Everyone perks up when Osamu walks through the door. They’re quick to surround him, asking how his day had been. You look tired, take this ginseng drink! It really revitalises your spirits! Did you get a girlfriend yet, Miya-san? My daughter is single, you know!

You watch as Osamu walks behind his bench, all smiles and “Is that so, Shigeru-san?”. Polite enough to please them, but not enough to make them think that he actually wants to go on a date with their 34 year-old daughter who’s a tired office worker looking out for potential husbands like a hawk. He lets out a heavy exhale, using his cap with the Onigiri Miya logo on it to fan himself.

“Hot today, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

You think that maybe he’s the one that’s making this summer so warm, especially with the way that his shirt clings to his figure and his flushed cheeks that make him look adorable.

Wait.

You do a double take. Ah, adorable. You must have meant that heart-print apron that Tanaka is wearing today. It is pretty cute, and you wonder if you should ask her where she got it from later on. Definitely not Osamu with his perfect smile that would make anyone’s heart skip a beat, and definitely not when it’s directed at you.

“Gather around everyone! We’re going to be making gyoza today!”

The demonstration goes as usual — Osamu impresses the housewives, they gasp and someone even touches his forearm and asks “How did you get so strong, Miya-san?”. Not that you care, of course. You certainly don’t. What you’re more concerned about is how Osamu manages to make wrapping the fragile gyoza seem so easy.

Your fingers pinch at the thick dough, eyebrows furrowed together. No matter what you do, your filling keeps spilling out of the wrapper and so you’ve opted to try out for a thicker piece this time. Not that it really matters — Suna will be the one suffering from food poisoning if it turns out bad, anyways.

“Ah, yer made it too thick,” Osamu says as he strolls over.

You tense up as he leans over your shoulder, peeking at the chubby gyoza in your hands. You pretend not be affected by how close he is and continue pinching the wings of the dumpling shut.

“They keep bursting,” you sniff.

“Maybe ya put t’much filling?” Osamu suggests. “Here, lemme show ya. Put tha’ one down and grab a new wrapper. Yeah, just like that.”

You stiffen as Osamu flours his hands and cradles your hands in his.

“Here ya go. That’s t’much, scoop out some more. That’s it. Now gently…”

Blood rushes to your face as you feel the warmth of his skin seep into yours, his hands rough from years of training and cooking. Scars adorn the tips of his thick fingers and knuckles. You suddenly feel the urge to gently trace them with your thumb, to ask him how he got each one of them.

Would he let you? Let you so close, that perhaps you would be the one to know every single thing about him?

“You did it!” Osamu says cheerfully.

He suddenly pulls away, making you plummet back to reality. A perfectly made gyoza sits in your hands.

“I’m looking forward to tasting your gyoza later on. Now keep trying!”

You’re left dumbfounded as Osamu walks away to help out the other housewives. They stammer and blush when they get too close, but he never holds their hands in his own, never smiles as gently as he does with you.

You place the gyoza on a pan and put the lid on with a little bit more force than what is necessary.

5. Wrap the cling wrap over the rice and squeeze and mould it into a triangle shape with your hands.

You try not to make contact with Osamu after that. Attending his cooking classes becomes a game of cat-and-mouse, where you try to tell him ‘I don’t need any help, Miya-san’ and watch him crawl away in defeat. In fact, you decide to skip the lesson on making hamburgs and instead spend the afternoon watching television.

After all, from what you’ve learnt in the past, Osamu is nothing more than trouble. You think it’s worth the sacrifice now to put some space between the both of you so that you don’t end up heartbroken a second time.

Though, you do feel a little bad. Just a little bit. One day when Suna’s out at training, you hear the doorbell ring and Osamu’s voice ring through the genkan. You hear his feet shuffle by the door and a heavy thump outside before he leaves. You only open the door when you hear his car pull out of the apartment building’s carpark, and find a packed bento lunch for you in front.

You try to pretend that the bunny cut apples and sakura shaped carrot slices don’t mean anything.

“Ah, Suna-san! Where were you last week?” Tachibana titters as you step into class for the final lesson.

“I wasn’t feeling very well,” you lie. “I think I caught a summer cold.”

“Oh dear, that sounds terrible!” the ladies chorus together.

You think they’re probably just glad that you didn’t get in the way of their beloved Miya-san. You tug your apron over your head, and ignore Osamu when he greets everyone. His eyes linger on you for a little too long during the demonstration — to the point that he actually burns the skin side of his salmon fillet.

Osamu skirts around your bench like a nervous puppy when the demonstration is over. You don’t seem particularly keen about talking to him, though the tips of your finger tremble when he finally plucks up the courage to stand next to you. It’s not close enough for your elbows to touch, but close enough that he can whisper to you without anyone else hearing him.

“Hey,” he begins, uncertain. His voice wavers slightly.

“Hey,” you reply, wary of what he might say.

“Are you okay?”

You take a moment to think, tipping the sake bottle carefully to measure out an exact tablespoon of it. He wonders when your hands have seemed so delicate, so small. He aches to hold them in his own again.

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good.”

It’s quiet, again. Just like that night in Suna’s apartment, with all the noise of the reunion going on around you, except this time it's the clanging of pans and utensils, paired with the chatter of many ladies.

“I was thinking…” Osamu stares down at your hands, turning the measuring spoon over so that sake splashes onto the hot pan with a sizzle. “Maybe we could get a drink together after this?”

You cover the pan and watch its surface cloud up with condensation. You hide your shaking hands by digging them into the pockets of your apron.

Osamu swallows. Perhaps he had been too direct with you; scared you off with how quickly he was advancing. Or did Suna tell you to be careful of him? That he didn’t want you falling in love with him a second time? There’s no lie about it, that Osamu had been a grade A asshole back in high school.

But he loves you now; has loved you since then. Would you be willing to give him a second chance?

“Osamu,” you breathe.

His shoulders relax slightly when you don’t call him by his last name.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Your voice comes out timid, scared. Osamu’s heart crumbles at the edges. He wonders if you would hate him if he reached out and took your hands in his once more. You’re both adults, perfectly capable of rational thinking if only your hearts hadn’t gotten in the way. Love hurts, they said. You want to agree.

“We can start it out slow,” Osamu suggests.

“I’m supposed to start my new job next month. I won't be in Nagano for much longer.”

“I’m opening a branch in Tokyo.”

“I’ll be busy settling down. We might not get to see each other often enough.”

“A little is better than nothin’.”

“You’re my brother’s friend.”

“Now, yer just picking at nothing, babe. Didn’t you have a crush on me back in high school, too? That didn’t stop ya, did it?”

Your heart wrestles with your brain, insisting on comfort and that love will always come in the form of someone that isn’t Miya Osamu. You’ll find someone, but will they be better? Will they send food to your doorstep, or send you stupid photos of dogs he saw on the street? Will they chase after you relentlessly for years, will they be Osamu?

A lump forms in your throat and you wonder if this, has been, is love. You tear your heart out from within you and let it cling to your sleeve, as pathetic and scared it is. You don’t mind if it hurts. To never hurt is to never have lived, to never have loved.

By this point, your eyes have misted up with tears and it hits you- You’re about to cry about your crush in the middle of a cooking class attended by middle-aged ladies. You’ve never been more embarrassed.

“Really?” you whisper, looking up at Osamu with glittering eyes.

He ignores the “Miya-san! I need your help!” that rings out in the background. He smiles gently.

“Yeah, really.”

A tear slips down your face. Osamu lets out a breathy chuckle as he swipes it away with his thumb, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

“We’ll talk properly after this, alright?”

You nod numbly. You watch as he hurries off to Shigeru, gasping when he sees how she had completely butchered her fillet. He turns back to you, trying to hold in a snigger.

You giggle.

Osamu thinks he wants to hear that laugh forever.

6. Remove the cling wrap and cover the bottom of the rice triangle with a nori sheet and set aside.

“One extra large bonito onigiri with spring onions!” you cry out from the counter.

Back in the kitchen, Osamu and another part-time worker scoop steaming rice out of large vats and use their hands to mould them into perfectly shaped triangles. A scoop of filling goes in and a strip of seaweed is wrapped hastily around the onigiri before it's sent to you to package. You place the onigiri carefully into a box and slip it into a paper bag with the shop’s logo on the front for a take-away order.

The shop is filled with customers even on a Wednesday afternoon. The clock shows 2p.m., past lunch time, yet you can see a queue that snakes out of the shop and down the alleyway.

Another long day ahead, you think to yourself.

“It’s our turn!” a little girl squeals as she takes the bag from you, opening it up to peer at the huge onigiri inside. “Mama! ‘giri!”

Her mother laughs and pats her head. “Don’t forget to say thank you, Haru.”

The girl turns to you, eyes sparkling. “‘Fank you, Miya-shan!”

A cheery grin almost splits your face in half. Miya-san. Four years on and it still makes your stomach flip whenever you hear that Osamu’s last name has become yours. It was an easy decision for the both of you to get married, really. You had loved each other for years and all you wanted to do in the end was to spend the rest of your lives together.

You quit your office job just before you got married to help Osamu out with the new Onigiri Miya branches. It took some getting used to, but the familiar customers and bright smiles that you see just by serving onigiri each day makes it worth it. It’s tough work, no doubt. But doing what you enjoy with the man you love is more rewarding than it ever could be.

Though, it’s not like your relationship has always been smooth sailing. There are days when you bicker over something stupid (like how you always forget to close the lid of the rice cooker), or when Osamu insists that he isn’t overworking himself (although his eyebags tell otherwise). But love’s a recipe with a few secret ingredients, and you’ve come to master it over the years.

“Come back soon!”

The shop is filled with the fragrant scent of freshly cooked rice and bonito flakes being stir-fried into furikake. Customers perch on tiny stools as they scarf down onigiri of different shapes and sizes, licking their fingers clean. A plush toy of Onigiri Miya’s mascot sits on the counter next to a potted plant that Atsumu bought (which is surprisingly still alive).

A photograph of the third Tokyo branch’s grand opening hangs on the wall. You and Osamu hold up a bouquet of flowers, smiling toothily at the camera, your wedding rings glinting in the sunlight.

“One medium onigiri with tuna mayo, coming right up!”

You jump as Osamu shouts out the order suddenly and you nearly drop the onigiri that he hands to you.

“Woah, careful there,” he chuckles, a hand ghosting the small of your back.

“You have ‘ta stop scaring me, ‘Samu,” you huff and roll your eyes playfully.

Osamu grins at you and the edges of his eyes crinkle up. You place the onigiri safely into its packaging and place it on the counter for a customer to collect, before turning back to plant a kiss on his cheek. Osamu’s face flushes pink and he hurries away, mumbling something about bonito flakes.

Your heart soars in your chest.

Yeah, it has been, will be, worth it.

7. Repeat the same steps as above to use the rest of the rice with other fillings that you prepared.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fic #miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu fluff #miya osamu angst #miya osamu fic #osamu x reader #osamu fluff #osamu angst #osamu fic #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq angst #hq fic #hq osamu

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lovclyboncs · 3 years

Text

Everything I Wanted (Todoroki x Reader) Soulmate Au

inspired by Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish.

TW! Mentions of contemplated suicide and insecure thought that could be triggering.

soulmate Au! Where your soulmate tattoo appears on your wrist after you touch your soulmate for the first time.

F!reader x Todoroki

F!reader x Bakugou (brotp)

Plot: the reader is Todoroki’s soulmate, but he doesn’t want to let some mystical ink on his wrist dictate who he should love, so he rejects reader as his soulmate. This story is about how reader first reacted to the rejection and how slowly reader lets herself heal, but what the universe wants it will get.

Part two out now!

This is my very first post on here! I hope you guys enjoy!

I had a dream I got everything I wanted Not what you’d think And if I’m bein’ honest It might’ve been a nightmare To anyone who might care

Every night you’d wake up drenched in sweat, panting as you tried to calm your breathing, tears staining your rosy cheeks. Every night you had the same nightmare, you wished it was just your mind overthinking, but sadly it wasn’t. Even in your dreams you’d replay that memory in your head over and over again.

“ I’m sorry (y/l/n), but even if your name is tattooed on my wrist and even if fate says we are meant to be together, I can’t return your feelings. My heart belongs to another. I’m truly sorry if I’m not what you expected as a soulmate.” He told you with nothing but sincerity in his voice. The sad and hurtful truth.

“I-It’s okay. I understand Todoroki-san. Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine” You said holding in the need to cry, and the need to let the crawling feeling in your throat free, to scream and yell how once again this world was nothing but cruel.

He gave a slight nod of his head before walking away from you. His other half as written by the universe and written on your left wrist.

You looked down at the floor clenching your fists and look up once again to see him standing with the rest of the A-1 class who was chatting as they waited for class to resume. A lone tear raced down your face.

“I’ll be fine” You whispered to yourself.

‘I have to be’ you thought.

As a young girl all you ever did was fantasize about your soulmate. You thought it would be a dream come true for you when you would finally get to meet them. You would get your happily ever after like in those princess tales you’d love to read before going to bed. You thought you’d have the perfect white picket fence life to look forward to.

As a young foolish girl you thought life would be easy.

you didn’t know your parents were going to sacrifice their lives to save others.

you didn't know that you weren’t quirkless and that your parents had been using ‘vitamins’ to suppress your quirk because of how dangerous it was when your emotions went haywire.

you didn't know that it wouldn’t get better contrary to what your therapist would tell you.

you didn’t know that you weren’t going to make as many friends as you had hoped you would.

and what hurt the most was that you didn’t know your soulmate wasn’t going to be your knight in shining armor like you had hoped.

Thought I could fly (fly) So I stepped off the Golden, mm Nobody cried (cried, cried, cried, cried) Nobody even noticed I saw them standing right there Kinda thought they might care (might care, might care)

It had been a month since Todoroki rejected you as his soulmate. You thought you could've gotten over it but as always it seemed like the universe wanted to punish you for just existing. You didn’t participate in class anymore, You made sure to cover your soulmate tattoo so that no one would accidentally look at it, you didn’t tare your gaze from the floor, you thought that it wouldn't hurt as much if you didn't have to look at him, but then the rumors started spreading and then the rumors weren't so much of a rumor.

“ Todoroki and Momo made it official!”

“ I knew they were soulmates, I mean just look at how perfect they look together.”

“ Did you see the picture Momo posted of their soulmate tattoos? I'm so jealous!”

It was all too much for you, so you ran and you ran until you found yourself on the rooftop of U.A. and you let the tears you were holding in fall.

You let the monster crawling at your throat free, letting yourself scream, letting yourself voice the hurt you had been bottling up.

why weren't you good enough for anyone?

not good enough for your parents to live for, they would rather die for others than to live for you.

not good enough for your classmates, they barley talked to you or invited you to places like they did with each other.

not good enough for your soulmate to want you. hell he’d rather cover you up than let people know fate had chosen you for him, were you so disgusting that you weren't even worth mentioning as the soulmate he rejected?

“stop” you whispered to your thoughts.

“ please just stop” your voice sounded hoarse.

“I just wanted everything to stop. To end” you said louder to no one, because no one was there, because no one cared.

you slowly walked towards the edge of the roof and looked down at the ground.

your eyes were void of anything, they looked empty.

shakily you put one foot out into the nothingness, into the only thing that could stop you from letting the pain overwhelm you. you closed your eyes ready to fly.

‘This world is so cruel and yet so beautiful’ you thought before letting your eyes snap open and gasping.

your eyes regained a light and tears began to swell once again, you let yourself fall backwards away from the edge of the building.

Yes the world was cruel and life wasn't fair, but it was also beautiful. there was still so much you wanted to experience, still so much that would be worthwhile.

after sitting on the floor for what felt like hours, you heard the distance sound of the bell signaling the end of lunch. you slowly picked yourself of the ground and cleaned your tears with the sleeve of your uniform jacket.

you made your way back to class 1-A. you were the last one to walk in, and some of your classmates glanced up at you, but they didn’t say anything about your puffy red eyes, they didn’t ask why you weren’t at lunch, they didn’t ask how your day was going so far, they didn’t ask if you were okay.

because you were not okay.

you once again felt a heaviness in your chest.

you thought they would care at least a bit, they were heroes in training after all, yet it seemed like they hadn’t even noticed.

they hadn’t even noticed your absence and maybe they didn’t mind it in the slightest.

I had a dream I got everything I wanted But when I wake up, I see You with me

Maybe you were too wrapped up in your own mind or maybe you finally lost it, but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out how you ended up like this. Eating spicy noodles quietly with your class’ very own lord explosion murder sitting across from you.

If you were to ask Bakugou why he demanded you have lunch with him, he’d say it was because your dumbass face was the only one he could stand enough to willingly share his homemade noodles with, and if you were to ask him why he was sharing noodles in the first place, he would tell you to shut the hell up and just eat without questioning him.

What Bakugou would never admit is that when he was roaming the school grounds during lunch two weeks ago he saw you standing at the very edge. He stood frozen in place, not sure of what he could do, but before he could will himself to move he saw how you feel backwards and out of his sight. He knew why he froze because he remembered a comment he made to deku before they entered U.A. He obviously didn’t mean it, but seeing you so willingly to just dive of a building made something in him feel guilt for making such an insensitive comment even if it was to deku.

He really didn’t know you well. He knew that he had never actually seen your quirk in action though probably more than half of the class could relate to that since you never really used it. He knew pretty much that he didn’t know you at all and that unsettled him. Sure he wasn’t the most sociable guy or easiest to approach, but he at least knew a couple of things about each of his classmates friends.

So he decided to pay more attention to you, he noticed how you really didn’t talk to any of your classmates and how they wouldn’t try to include you in their conversations. He noticed you always walked with your head down not really looking at where you were going. He noticed the bags under your eyes making themselves more prominent. He noticed how sometimes when you would space out in class you’d be staring at the back of the class where the half and half bastard would sit. He became aware of your being but he still didn’t know how to approach you.

The opportunity came after an awkward encounter.

Everyone (or so you thought) had gone out to who knows where and like always you hadn’t been invited. You decided to train for a little while. You had been slowly progressing with being able to control your quirk, but after your conversation with Todoroki you were back at square one. Your emotions were a train wreck making it hard to control your quirk. Becoming frustrated with yourself you decided to call it a day but since you were sweaty you went to take a shower first. You forgot to take your clothes with you, and since you were by yourself in the dorms you didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if you ran to your room. Midway there you bumped into a wall that wasn’t there this morning. You looked up and there was Bakugou looking down at you.

‘Oh shit I’m going to die’ you thought but then you saw Bakugou frown as he looked directly at your uncovered wrist.

‘Shouto Todoroki’ Bakugou narrowed his eyes. He finally understood why you had been acting more closed off than usual, and maybe if you had looked a little harder you wouldve seen the understanding in them.

“Sor-” you began to say but he cut you off

“get dressed and meet me in the kitchen” he said before walking away.

After that day things changed for you. Who knew eating noodles in silence with an angry blonde could set you on your path to healing?

Every time you saw them holding hands you didn't have enough time to let yourself question what you could have done for that to be you.

“hey dumbass hurry up or I’ll kill you” the red eye blonde would yell at you once he noticed you lagging behind. Making you forget about the black ink on your wrist and making you worry about how bakugou was going to react to you getting a C- on the test he spent a whole afternoon helping you study for.

And you say, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to If I could change the way that you see yourself You wouldn’t wonder why you’re here, they don’t deserve you”

It was close to the end of the school year and if you were to say that much hadn’t changed you’d be lying.

thanks to practing your quirk with bakugou and him suggesting meditation to help you stay calm you were finally able to control your quirk enough to use it without fear around others.

Through him you also became friends with the rest of the bakusquad and they helped you warm up to the others.

all the second guessing and the comparing yourself to others didn’t cross your mind often anymore.

unbeknownst to you every time you peeled off the layers of insecuirty that held you back from expressing yourself bakugou would smile glad that you,just like him, could get passed the pain left by an unrequited soulmate bond.

also unbeknownst to you, as you began getting along with the rest of the class and opening up, he couldn’t help but be captivated by some of your quirks. How you would help the likes of denki study even when you weren’t better off yourself, how you were the only one who entertained Midoriya’s rambling and even added comentary.

He began to get to know you and he could see how the universe could’ve blessed him with a soulmate such as yourself. you were the complete opposite of what he was used to, the todoroki home wasn’t exactly the most affectionate.

He was seeing you bloom right before his eyes and all he could feel was guilt as he diverted his eyes to look at his left wrist.

‘Momo Yaoyorozu’

He softly caressed his thumb over the name and even with his soft touch the fake dark ink smuged.

He thought he had what he wanted.

He thought the universe had been wrong.

He thought it was for the best.

but as he saw you bickering with bakugou he found himself wondering what he could’ve done for that to be him, for you to be open with him like that.

he knew he was wrong but he was too far in to fix it.

If I knew it all then would I do it again? Would I do it again?

lastly Todoroki knew that even if you found it in yourself to forgive him, he still wouldn’t deserve you.

Thank you so much for reading this far if you did! I don’t know why I couldn’t get this out of my head and so here it is. Also I threw in an AOT reference to cope with the pain.

#mha x reader #todoroki shōto #todoroki x reader #todoroki angst #mha angst #anime angst #bakugou x reader #brotp #fanfic #oneshot #angst oneshot #billie eilish #songfic #soulmate #themes: unrequited #unreciprocated love #healing #fanart #strwbrrybratff

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niskoo · 3 years

Text

[02:00]

pairing: lee heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff, ....hurt comfort? idk

warnings: poor descriptions of a panic attack because i completely forgot what its like

word count: 1.3k words

a/n: hi hi!! this was (a bit late Jfbsjn) a request from @wonvelvet (thank you so much for requesting!! i love your writing <33) ALSO IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFF BUT IDK HOW IT TURNED INTO THIS HAHA IM SORRY IT MIGHT BE RUSHED </333

networks: @enhypennetwork

For your whole life, numbers and brains defined you. At least, you thought it did. That’s just how your parents raised you, around exams and exams and education. Never have they at least considered your feelings. And neither did you.

Until you got to college and met the boy who accidentally spilled paint on your shoes, the boy who felt bad and quickly apologized, the boy who promised to exchange them for something. You thought it was simply silly, how could be so worked up over a pair of sneakers?

And as he took you out for a small treat ar a bakery, for the first time in your life, he asked for what you wanted. You furrowed your brows at this, claiming it was just pastries and he could pick anything out.

And as you took a bite in the donut, you observed as the boy’s expressions changed as he smiled in what seemed like pure bliss. You asked him why he was so happy, but you really didn’t expect for him to make a whole speech of why donuts bring the heavens down to earth.

You felt something there, you wanted to smile at his small presentation, you wanted to join in and ramble nonsense about a pastry.

Lee Heeseung brought colors to your life. Not long after the first bakery date, he asked you on a real one, where he would dress up and actually pick you up and all that jazz.

And now here you are, a year later, staying in the same apartment.

It was crazy, how he actually brought feeling into your life, when you were completely unaware of how much more you could enjoy life, instead of looking at numbers and meaningless information you probably wouldn’t use in the future.

Most of your experience with your boyfriend was happy. Most.

Now wasn’t one of those times.

Now was one of those rare times where you would find numbers and worksheets so difficult, where you would struggle and want to give up.

It was simply too much. Too many assignments, exams, projects, too much work.

You stare blankly at the open document in front of you, fingers hovering over the keyboard, grazing over the keys. You’ve been at it for hours now, typing potential pieces, before deleting it after realizing how ridiculous it sounded. You’ve never had such a hard time doing an assignment.

The white screen of your laptop practically glares at you, the two paragraphs of nonsense screaming how pathetic and useless you were.

You grunt, and quickly shut your computer down, slamming it shut. There’s a migraine grazing your mind, tired of staring into a bright screen for too long.

You trudge lazily onto the bed, patting the sheets, before plopping in next to your boyfriend with a groan.

Heeseung instantly wakes up at the dip of the bed, turning around to greet you. “Hey, you done with the report?” You stick your head back up from the pillow, shaking your head with a deep frown. Heeseung chuckles lightly at your response, nodding, before pulling you closer to him and under the blanket. “It’s okay, you can finish it later.”

You find yourself instantly dozing off in Heeseung’s embrace, sighing in bliss, before nuzzling your face into his neck, humming in agreement.

You don’t think about the unfinished document sitting on the study table, only about your boyfriend’s featherlight touch and light kisses on your hairline.

Though, a few hours after sleeping, you do find yourself suddenly awake, a deep heavy feeling in your chest. You sit up from Heeseung’s hold, eyes instantly trailing to your laptop on the study table. A sudden feeling of nausea and anxiety floods your body when you realize you had not even done half of your report.

Feeling overwhelmed, you crawl out of bed, hands shaking and footsteps slow as you approach your laptop. Your breaths soon grow shaky as well, as you open your computer and see all the reminders of all the assignments and exams you have yet to come.

Your eyes burn as you read through the list, the anxiousness spreading throughout your body in an overwhelmingly fast pace, thoughts of how you’re gonna fail clouding your mind. You step away from your laptop, stepping back, hands finding themselves shaking and holding onto the back of your head.

You’ve only had a panic attack around 2 times in your life, and every time you force yourself to focus on your breathing, just like father had said, but now all thats hazing and filling your mind is how much things you have undone, how much of a failure you are, how weak you can be.

Soon, soft sobs the air, tears smearing your face messily as you shut your eyes and focus on your thoughts, and your thoughts only.

You’re a failure. You can’t get anything done. You have so much to do. Why are you so weak? Why can’t you fulfill mother and father’s expectations? Why do you have to be so pathetic?

You don’t realize your boyfriend quickly getting out of bed at the sound of your sobs, rushing to hold your hands in his as he kneels in front of you.

“Hey, hey,” he mumbles, placing a hand on your cheek. You jolt at the touch, finally realizing Heeseung in front of you, a worried expression twisting his face. “What’s wrong, baby?”

You try to focus on his question.

Why are you worked up?

Your eyes trail to your open laptop on the table, blinking at the brightness. And then, you remember.

Quickly, you suck in a sob, attempting to stand up and walk to your laptop to finish everything, but a soft grab at your hand tugs you back gently, causing you to bump into Heeseung’s chest.

“Hey, no no, look at me. Y/n, please look at me.” Your blurry vision turns to him, his gaze, glazing with pure worry. You try to blink your tears away, only to have them fall down your cheeks. Heeseung instantly reaches up to brush them away with his thumb, caressing your cheek dearly. “You’re okay now, I promise. You’re with me.”

Heeseung, the boy who makes noodles for you when you stay up to do an assignment, the person who makes sure you get enough sleep, the first person who comforts you, the only person who cared for your feelings. Your breaths finally steady, mind focusing only on Heeseung, his soft gaze, furrowed eyebrows, gentle voice, even gentler touch, god how you would end up dead without him.

“You’re okay, everything is fine.”

Your eyes seem to long for something more than that from him, blinking up with a certain gloss that tugs on his heartstrings. As if to read your mind, your eyes, Heeseung tugs you closer to him, hands now caging your cheeks in his palms.

Heeseung takes your hands in his once more, sticking your palm out in front of him. He presses his own large palms against yours, aligning your fingers together. Your heart softens, softly linking your fingers together softly. His hands felt warm, comforting, as if to reassure you that he’s there for you, that he validates you and cares for you.

“You’re doing so well, I’m so proud of you. Can you tell me what’s wrong now, baby?”

You tell him what’s wrong, you tell him of your never ending stress of that week, sniffling softly every time you remember all your unfinished works. He reassures you that your own mental health matters much more, reassures you that you’re not pathetic, or weak, or a failure, but it’s human to not be able to handle so much.

Lee Heeseung, who painted your shoes and your life, who brought you pure happiness and comfort, you don’t think you could ever live a proper life without him.

A week later, 2 of your essays have an extended due date, you actually pass your exams, and best of all, you’re at a bakery, eating and talking nonsense about donuts bringing heaven down to earth with the only person who ever made you feel validated.

#enhypennetwork #lee heeseung #lee heeseung imagines #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung scenarios #lee heeseung blurbs #lee heeseung drabbles #lee heeseung angst #enhypen #enhypen imgaines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen blurbs #enhypen drabbles #enhypen angst

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fusionlads · 2 years

Note

I asked my friend what they wanted to ask, and for some reason they asked about takeout?? idk lol, what are all the fusions favorite restaurants? Can the fusions even eat in the first place?

Kiwo: Oh, definitely! They have pretty much all the same bodily functions as us regular humans, along with their extra abilities. Fusions, especially the larger ones, and their components actually have really high metabolisms because fusing and using their powers consumes a lot of energy. It can be hard to keep up with, which is why Seán hired Max on.

Max: My office is the kitchen. Not really, I do have a desk in the actual office, but I spend a lot more time in the kitchen. Cooking, keeping the cupboards stocked, hiding my nice pans from Daian… It’s not half bad, really. As long as I keep everybody’s nutritional needs in mind, I can pick the menu myself, and it’s nice to have room to experiment and try new things when I feel like it. Not that I mind taking requests, I do want everyone to enjoy the food I make. If only some people appreciated my efforts a little more and didn’t make instant noodles at three in the morning instead of heating up the leftovers I put my heart and soul into—

Kiwo: Anyway, we’ve gotten off track of the actual question. We’ll let the fusions answer for themselves about their favorite places to eat.

Keviel: Sushi! I heard Dan used to live in Japan and really loved the food there, so I’ve tried lots of Japanese food to see what it’s like. I’m actually better than Kiwo at using chopsticks now, haha. Oh, and me and Breán sometimes get margherita pizza together, apparently that’s Kevin’s favorite kind.

Breán: I’d eat pizza every day if these bastards would let me. Why? ‘Cause pizza’s good, what the fuck else do you want?

Danthi: I don’t eat out much, my job keeps me busy in the evenings. Starbucks is probably the only place I go regularly.

Seániel: I’m quite fond of seafood myself. Though sometimes the others make annoying jokes about crab cannibalism because of my limbs, ugh. Sit-down restaurants can be nice, but we don’t do that a lot. Our outings tend to be, uh, disruptive, to say the least, and we’ve been banned from a few places. Besides, it seems a waste when we have our own chef at the compound. Max works hard for us, and I don’t want to take him for granted.

Seáthi: Okay, picture this. McDonald’s, but the whole menu. Brivin: Hell yeah. Seáthi: Nuggie heaven. Brivin: Definitely one of your best ideas. And there’s nothing like the look on the cashier’s face when you roll up and ask for one of everything.

Kevthi: I like those all-you-can-eat places. Sometimes they lie and make you leave before you’re done, though.

Braniel: Waffle House, because they don’t get fucking NOSY and kick you out for stupid things like fistfights in the parking lot. It’s the only good advice Seáthi’s ever had. …I guess I kinda like that cat cafe downtown, too, but it’s not like people go there for the food.

Seávin: Oh, I could absolutely live off Taco Bell alone. Just bury me in cheesy roll-ups. It’s just a shame they don’t have milkshakes to dip them in.

Daian: Any place that gives real metal silverware and doesn’t ask where it went afterward. Stainless steel is the most common, but I prefer the flavor of sterling silver. Especially plated over an alloy like copper.

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astaroth1357 · 4 years

Text

Demon Brothers Comfort an MC with Depression

As somebody who struggles with and has seen others battle depression, I know that it manifests in everyone a little differently and what works for some may not for others. Unfortunately, there is no cure-all. But if you're like me and some relief can come from comfort/being comforted, no matter how you find it, then I hope this helps you too. Please remember there's always places and people who wish to help out. Try to practice self-love and stay safe out there.

Warnings: Themes of Depression, Angst

Lucifer

His reaction to stress is work. If he’s stressed out, then he’ll do more work. It’s not that he enjoys it, it just keeps his mind distracted and he’d rather things get done. So he can recognize when someone else does the same.

Cooking, cleaning, homework, or other chores, he’s seen the MC go around doing this and that throughout the House. At first he was thankful, his brothers so rarely clean up or look after themselves, but after a while things started to seem off…

They started working themselves to the bone. He could hear them up in the middle of night sweeping or washing dishes. It was almost like they had forgotten how to sleep at night...

One night, when he left his study to go make some coffee, he found them in the library scrubbing the floors. Their shoulders were trembling with hushed whimpers and choked sobs...

He made them put the sponge away, walked them back into his study, and sat them down despite their protests. They explained their condition to him there through tears they seemingly didn’t want to shed... They’d been unable to sleep in days and were using cleaning as a distraction...

His first instinct was to put them to bed, but if they already can’t sleep then that seemed insufficient…

He ordered them to relax in the chair and played classical music as he made them some tea. He tried to calm them down as best he could and reassured them with quiet conversation and compliments to help them stop crying. When they eventually zonked out, he carried them back to bed then set to work.

Informed Diavolo the next day that the MC was having difficulties then sought out the best treatment the human world had to offer. He personally escorts the MC there for regular services.

Would not hear a word of protest on this. If they didn’t want to go, then he would just have kidnap a therapist and bring the treatment to them.

He instructed his brothers remind the MC to relax sometimes and watch closely for signs of overworking. They could let the house fall to pieces for all he cares, just as long as they’re getting enough sleep and feeling better.

“This simply won’t do… But that’s alright. I’ll make sure things here are better for you.”

Mammon

He's been with MC the longest, he knows what's up by now.

He wouldn't say they have mood swings but he's picked up on how their mood rises and falls over time. They may seem perfectly fine for a while, a week, sometimes two. Then suddenly it's as if they pull back...

They'll stay in their room longer, be a bit more quiet at the dinner table, or look spaced out all the time. Like they're there, but not really with him anymore…

At first he thought it was something he was doing but they’d always tell him he’s fine. Great even. So why did they keep pulling away…?

He got worried enough about it that he asked Solomon if it was just a human thing. He’s the one who told him what depression was and that the MC may have it.

Honestly, he can’t say that he gets it completely, but he takes it seriously. If it’s making the MC feel this bad then he’s got to try something, right?

He’s unsure of what to do, so he settles for just being there for them. Constantly. If he notices that they’re pulling back again, he’ll go to their room and just be there. Even if he’s only checking his phone while sitting next to them on the bed.

He makes sure to remind them that since they’re his human he doesn’t like seeing them sad. If they need to talk, he’s got it. If they need a hug, he’s got that too. He won’t let them feel like they’re all alone as long as he’s around.

“Tsk, look… You know you’ve got me here, right? I ain’t goin’ leave ya…”

Leviathan

Was pretty oblivious to it until he walked into their room one day to lend them a new manga and found them curled up, crying in bed.

Panicked right away because he thought they were hurt and almost called for Lucifer before they stopped him.

After they explained the situation and that sometimes the tears just happen, he felt awful for them. He’s not exactly an emotionally secure person himself so he could relate to feeling like your mind can be against you at times.

He offers them funny manga or shows them games that make him relaxed and happy. He takes their tastes into account and tries to craft them the best “feel good” media pack an otaku can ask for.

If they’re not an otaku like he is well… He doesn’t really know what makes normies feel better, but he’ll still try there too. He’s sure there’s probably some things on Akuzon that can help. Flowers? Candy? Do crystals work on them? He’s not very equipped, but he is trying.

Asks them over for a lot more anime/game nights because he thinks if he can get them distracted, then that’s a bit of relief in and of itself. Will try very hard to make them laugh when they’re together. Every little smile is a victory in his eyes.

“Okay, I brought this, and this, and this, oh and that too! It’s a good series. We can watch it together, okay?”

Satan

Sadness is sort of new to him. When you’ve been angry most of your life you end up not very familiar with other emotions, be they your own or other people’s...

He DID know about depression though. Or at least he knew what it was. He read about it in some human medical journals after the MC came to the Devildom, just to cover his bases.

When the MC started to show signs of having it, he was hesitant to say much at first because he didn’t think his place to do so.

He changed his mind after they began skipping classes. It started out pretty minor, they’d be late for class this week then maybe leave a little early the next… But soon it seemed like they couldn’t bring themselves to go at all.

He knew this wasn’t a Belphie situation. The MC wasn’t lazy and they cared a good deal about their grades. If something was keeping them from making it to class, it had to be serious and he wanted to help.

He read enough on the subject to be able to approach it tactfully, then presented the MC with his findings. He tried to be gentle, but he was worried and when he’s worried he wants to get to the bottom of the problem as soon as possible.

When his suspicions were proven true, he did everything in his power to help them. He read up on the condition for days and asked them a lot of questions about how they doing, how they’re feeling, what makes them comfortable, etc.

He begun looking into what treatments were available/able to be smuggled down to the Devildom while still being discreet, if that’s what they wanted. His brothers didn’t need to know.

Checks up on them a lot in the meantime and tries to cheer them up if he can. He’s not the best at it face-to-face but he may send them gifs and pics of kittens doing kitten things. That usually helps him, so maybe it will help them too?

“Don’t worry, you can get through this. There’s a lot of options available. Here, let me show you what I’ve found...”

Asmodeus

Even the most beautiful people can feel depressed sometimes and Asmo knows that.

It started with him fussing over their appearance like he does with all his brothers, semi-playfully of course.

“MC, are you getting enough beauty sleep? MC, why don’t you do something more with your hair? MC, you could look cuter than that! MC? Are you listening...?”

It didn’t take long, though, for him to notice the dip in their self-care was getting steeper… And it wasn’t like them. They didn’t put as much pride in their appearance as he does (who can?) but they had a style. There was a way they liked to present themselves to other people. They just weren’t doing that anymore…

Something was wrong and he was sure of it.

When he invited the MC to his room that day, he didn’t have any ulterior motives for once. He wasn’t looking for a night of fun, only answers to soothe his concern.

He had never been more gentle or considerate of their feelings than he was right then; coaxing but never prodding until finally they let him in wholeheartedly.

He held the MC as they cried, listened to every word they had to say, never interrupted or complained, and just brushed every tear away.

Makes it his mission to take care of the MC inside and out. Spa days become a regular occurrence where he will ask how they’re doing and let them vent whatever they need. If they don’t feel like talking, then he will take over and try to make them laugh with some embarrassing gossip about his brothers.

Wholeheartedly believes that one's mental health is entwined with one’s physical, so will make them feel the most beautiful and relaxed they ever have in hopes that it might soothe that emotional pain too.

“Go on, sweetheart, and let it all out… Don’t worry. I’m listening.”

Beelzebub

His first tip off was the food. They weren't eating.

Beel's pretty perceptive to what food is around him at all times so he’s the first to notice MC's portions getting smaller… then their plates stay half full.

That worried him enough but when they started skipping meals all together he knew he needed to step in and find out what was wrong. Were they sick?

He gently cornered them one day in the kitchen when they went to grab some instant noodles. It was well past noon and that was the only thing he'd seen them eat since yesterday's breakfast. He knows they're never as hungry as he is, but that has to hurt them too, right?

When he asked about their appetite they wouldn't meet his eyes. They tried to tell him that they were fine but that wasn't going to fly. He called their bluff immediately.

He didn’t expect them to start crying... Honest.

He felt horrible and just pulled them into a hug while they let it out, rocking them gently like he does with Belphie when he’s upset.

When they explained to him what depression is and how they don’t feel like eating sometimes it makes him more worried than before. He honestly can’t process the idea of not being hungry for such long periods of time but it sounds bad for them surely…

From that day forward he keeps a close eye on their food intake. He’ll be the first to encourage them to eat and even offer his own food if they haven’t had any yet. If they’re looking a little down, he’ll offer them snacks from his comfort food stash.

He’s always down to be with them when they need it. No questions asked. If they just show up at his room or send him a text then he’ll be there. He doesn’t mind if they don’t feel like talking, he just hopes his presence helps somehow.

“Do you need me right now? Okay. I’ll order us a pizza but you have to eat some of it too, alright?”

Belphegor

It’s not an unfamiliar feeling to him. He went through his own sad spells after Lilith died… Back then he coped with it through sleeping most of the day and being with Beel.

He started to notice that the MC was sleeping more. At first he was kind of happy because then they could nap together, but it started getting worse…

They’d sleep almost all day. Humans only need 8 hours but they’d go 14 or more… Not even he can stay in bed that long...

When they were awake they’d be quiet. They’d like to hold him but they weren’t telling him what was wrong…

After a while, he got so worried that he looked up what could be making them so sleepy. When he read about depression it all clicked in place for him, not just about them but about himself too.

One night, while they were having another afternoon nap/snuggle, he gently brought up the subject and they confirmed his suspicions.

What proceeded was a long conversation between the two where he admitted to sometimes feeling the same. They compared notes and thoughts, shared pain and scars, and talked about little things that might not mean much, but made them smile and feel happy to be in the world.

He made a deal with them to start staying up more if he did the same. He skipped class less often in order to wake up and go to school with them and stayed near them while they’re there just in case they started losing steam.

He wouldn’t force them to do any schoolwork or anything, but he would try to keep them up and about by inviting them in on pranks or talking to them so they won’t fall asleep until a good time for it. He just wanted them to be happy and healthy.

Promised that no matter how long the day took, he’d still cuddle them to sleep at night.

“Hey, if I’m not sleeping then you aren’t either. Come on… We can do this together.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #belphie has depression #fightme #you'd probably win #non-confrontational

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aceofspadegrass · 3 years

Text

Get Sick? Break in!

Characters: Niragi Suguru, Chishiya Shuntaro

Genre: Just a sickfic, I guess. Chishiya's just taking care of a sick Niragi, who is a huge grumpy pants.

1.5k words

Nobody asked for this, I just got bored and decided to write Sick Niragi and Chishiya pretty much breaking into his house just to care for his sick butt then leave.

Of course he'd get sick on a rainy day. At least he didn't have plans, but it sucked that he was sick anyways. He rolls over in bed, pulling the blanket closer to him as he breathed through his mouth, his nose completely and utterly stuffed. He didn't even have the energy to grab any medication, and he didn't exactly live with anybody.

So, here he was, suffering by himself.

At least nobody would take pity on him.

Niragi sneezes, grabbing a slowly diminishing box of tissues and blowing his nose hard. He tosses the dirty tissue into the trash bin that thankfully sat within reach of the man, Niragi curling back under the covers. He might as well attempt to sleep off the sickness. Nothing else he could do.

----

Niragi wakes up to the feeling of a wet rag on his forehead, and his entire body burning. He whines under his breath, tiredly blinking as he kicks off the blanket in irritation. He tries to reach up for the towel, but something stops him, and it's then when Niragi spots the blotch of white kneeling near him, and Niragi squints, his eyes refocusing themselves to the smug looking bastard known as Chishiya. He growls a little, Chishiya calmly staring back.

" How did you get in.....?" Niragi's voice was raspy, but still usable. Chishiya just slowly blinks and pulls Niragi's hand away from his forehead.

" Your friend down the hall let me."

Damn it Last Boss. Damn it all.

" Fuck."

" Hey now, at least someone came to check up on you." Chishiya glances at the blanket, and pulls it back up around Niragi. " Stay under the covers, you'll make yourself worse."

Niragi sticks his tongue out. " You're not my mom."

" I sure hope not, because they raised a bitch."

" You take that back-" Niragi tries to yell, but that strains his throat too much and he starts to cough, Chishiya backing away so he didn't get coughed on. Niragi wished he would, make him suffer with him.

Chishiya just watches him suffer, Niragi groaning and tugging at the blanket, eyes shut. " Can you leave now?"

" See, I would, but now that you asked, now I don't feel like it." Chishiya says with an air of arrogance that Niragi wanted to shoot in the face, but he was a little incapacitated. So he opts to just bury himself in the blankets and attempt to sleep again.

Surprisingly, it works.

Unsurprisingly though, it doesn't last long. He wakes up again an hour later, and just starts coughing again, cringing at how heavy and thick they felt. Niragi grumbles and clings to the blanket, the wet rag at least helping a little bit. Not much, though, but it was better than nothing. He feels a finger poke his cheek, and he cracks an eye open as he looks up at a white blob, immediately scowling.

" Here, take some medicine." Chishiya says, and Niragi can make out a glass of water and what might be a napkin, Niragi grunting as he sits up a little and squints. Sitting on the napkin was two pills, Niragi glancing up at Chishiya for a second. Chishiya doesn't move, Niragi looking at the pills again.

" What do you want."

" Hm?"

" Why are you doing this to me? What motive do you have?" Niragi squints at Chishiya, who kept that same smug look he always had.

" I have no motive. Just felt obligated to make you look less like a drenched sewer rat."

Niragi grumbles, but he swipes up the pills, taking them into his mouth. Chishiya wordlessly hands him the glass of water, Niragi taking a few sips of the chilled drink to wash it down, then a few more to feel the cold wash through his hot body. Chishiya watches him without a word, even when Niragi sets the now empty glass down and curls up under the blanket again. Just barely, Niragi could see Chishiya just standing there, and he glares at the male.

" Leave."

" I'll be on your couch then." Chishiya walks away, Niragi calling after him as best as he could.

" I meant out of my house, you underdeveloped mozzarella!"

Chishiya just waves, and he disappears out of sight, Niragi just grumbling some more. He's not sure of how much time passes, just the slow silence and occasional sniffles coming from himself. He grumbles, and attempts sleep for the third time. However, it escaped him this time, so he had suffer for as long as he had to. He groans under the blanket, the headache getting worse and worse and foggier and foggier.

Chishiya comes back a little later, or at least a white blob did, and Niragi could've sworn the illness got worse somehow, despite taking medication. He just remains curled up under the covers and attempting sleep, breathing through his mouth.

Through the haze, Niragi could barely make out the sound of ceramic hitting wood, and the blanket as tugged away a little, letting in fresh cold air. Niragi involuntarily shivers, muttering and attempting to tug it back up. It fails though, and Niragi squint-glares at the white blob.

" Hi. I made soup." Chishiya says, and clinks a spoon against the bowl. " Now, are you gonna help yourself, or do you want to be fed like a little kid?"

" Fuck off, Chishiya."

Chishiya lowly chuckles, that damn laugh that made Niragi mad and his head hurt even more, Niragi squeezing his eyes shut. Still, when he opens his eyes again, Chishiya is still standing there, just staring down at him with nothing behind those eyes.

" Didn't you hear me? I said-"

" Oh, I heard you. But my name isn't an answer, so......"

Niragi just glares at him, his head just pounding. Like hell was he about to be fed by this box dye bitch. He determinedly attempts to sit up, and Chishiya offers him zero help as bit by bit he manages to get into a sitting position. Niragi huffs, and Chishiya at least carefully hands him the bowl, making sure to balance it well enough on top of the blanket that remained on Niragi's lap so it didn't burn his core. The spoon was already sitting there, innocently. Niragi couldn't smell it at all, but he could feel it. It looked like chicken noodle, some standard soup for the sick. He didn't remember having any chicken noodle though, Niragi taking the spoon and swirling the bits around the broth a few times.

Chishiya doesn't say a word, just standing there and watching, waiting. After way too long, Niragi finally takes a spoonful and sips at it. It tasted exactly as he expected, but somehow under this sick spell it felt like the best damn thing he has ever tasted. So he took another spoonful, this one with a piece of shredded chicken and a carrot peacefully sitting within the broth, and he takes that too. It was soft, yet not mushy at all. A satisfying soup. He lets out a hum of satisfaction. He looks up at Chishiya again, and he almost didn't want to even praise him, but he end up swallowing his overflowing pride, even for a mere second.

" Thanks. It doesn't taste like ass."

Chishiya just hums, hands tucked in his pockets as he continues to stand there. Niragi blinks, then scowls. He looks away and back at the warm and comforting meal, eating as much as he could take in.

Niragi doesn't remember when he ended up eating it all, and he yawns. The soup warmed his core in a good, heavenly way, and he sets the bowl on the bedside table. He barely realizes that Chishiya left at some point, but Niragi didn't care at that point either, crawling back under the covers as his tiredness overtook him, Niragi snoring away 'til morning.

When he wakes up again to a clearer nose and less of a migraine, enough that Niragi felt comfortable enough to leave the comfort of his bed, he shuffled around his house, checking to see whether Chishiya had touched anything he wasn't supposed to. However, as far as Niragi could see, nothing was out of place at all, except for a single note on the benchtop of his kitchen and a lack of dishes. Niragi picks it up, squinting at the tiny handwriting.

' Feel better. It gets boring when you're not being annoying and on the move. And make sure to retake the medication. I put it back in the cabinet, third bottle on the left.- 🐈'

Niragi blinks, then huffs a little, the paper crinkling under his fingertips. " You little......" He throws the paper back down, even though he fills a new cup up with water and the bottle of medication that Chishiya probably used. " How dare you come in, do all this 'care' shit, then just disappear. Absolutely rude and pathetic. Didn't even stay to make sure I didn't die in my sleep-" He mutters to himself, taking the appropriate amount.

Still, somewhere buried in him, he was a little thankful he even showed up in the first place.

#aib #alice in borderland #aib fanfic #alice in borderland fanfic #chishiya shuntaro #niragi suguru #niragi x chishiya #chishiya x niragi #niragi pretends he hates the attention but he probably enjoys it #why did chishiya break into the house in the first place?#who knows #this doesn't exactly take place at the Beach at all #chishiya's a med student #he probably at least attempts to be a good one #niragi is an angry noodle #chishiya don't break into people's houses to play doctor you goof-

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cyncerity · 3 years

Note

👁👄👁 can I ask for anything with naga Phil au?

I TOLD YOU I WAS ACTUALLY WRITING IT!! >:)

Anyways here the long awaited naga!Phil noms

Tw: vore, digestion mention, angst, swearing, puke mention

Phil turned to look at the food that Wilbur had gone out of his way making. Honestly, it all looked really good, for it just being pasta, the only food Wilbur could make. After Phil had been, well, shrunk, he couldn’t do what he needed to do for his family, like making dinner, so his sons had taken up his jobs around the house. Though it made Phil sad that he couldn’t do everything he needed to for his sons, he was grateful that they could at least take care of themselves without burning the house down or killing one another.

Phil subconsciously moved to slither up a leg of the table to get to the food and to get on level with his sons. He saw Techbo getting dishes out, Wilbur continuing to stir pasta in a pot, and Tommy being an unhelpful gremlin as per usual. The tiny naga smiled as he moved through the table to get to a ramp that led him from his current position to the top of the cabinets near Wilbur, who was talking to Techno and doing his best to avoid Tommy’s shenanigans.

He almost got up when Tommy suddenly bumped the counter, sending Phil tumbling down without the time to even scream before he fell into the pot that Wilbur was stirring. He couldn’t even yell out to Wil since he was still talking to Techno, who also apparently didn’t notice Phil almost drowning in noodles.

Finally, after what felt like hours to Phil, the stirring stopped, leaving him buried in noodles. He tried fruitlessly to slither his way to the top of the pot, and just as he got close, he felt himself being lifted very quickly with…a spoon maybe? It was hard to tell before he was dumped in a bowl and then quickly covered with even more pasta as he heard Tommy say something about going to his room. Suddenly the surface he was in was moving and swaying slighlty, and he could hear the feet of his youngest moving beneath him as Tommy ran to his room.

The bowl was soon layed on an uneven surface that Phil could only assume was Tommy’s bed. Phil managed to grab the edge of the bowl and peer over side just in time to see Tommy turn up the volume of his phone, which was propped up against his sheets and playing some sort of cereal video. But even with the volume almost all the way up, Phil couldn’t hear a sound out of the phone.

It dawned on him that Tommy had earbuds in just to late, as in the time it took for him to process that information he felt himself be pulled back under the noodles as his tail was forcefully twisted around cold metal, leaving Phil unable to escape what he now unfortunately realized was a fork.

Tommy didn’t take his eyes off his screen for long enough to realize that Phil was stuck to his utensil, and he didn’t hear Phil calling out to him. Tommy just slipped the fork into his mouth as Phil screamed in terror, and slipped the newly emptied fork out just as quickly, leaving Phil no escape. Phil made a move to try and pound on the teeth that surrounded him, but they quickly re-opened just long enough for Tommy to fit another mouthful of spaghetti. Tommy barely chewed the food, which Phil would have been more disappointed with had it not been for the fact that if Tommy were chewing, Phil would more likely be crushed to death, before swallowing to make room for more food.

Phil barely had time to get used to the unbearable humidity of the mouth before he was sucked tail-first down the throat. In little to no time the only part of him still in the mouth was his torso, and Phil could feel exactly where the sphincter tightened around part of his tail, and he could feel the part of his tail that was already in the stomach, since it was the only part of him that wasn’t being constricted at the moment besides his upper body.

Phil made every move in his power to scream and claw at Tommy to let him out. As much as it hurt him to try and use his claws on his own son’s throat, he didn’t want to die by someone he loved, and someone who didn’t even know that they were putting their father in danger. Phil continued to scratch at the mouth as he flailed the free part of his tail in the stomach against the walls back and forth as hard as he could, trying to use every part of him to alert Tommy that something was wrong.

He not only heard but felt Tommy’s stomach growl slightly at the movement from Phil’s tail and he heard Tommy start to cough, since having something stuck throughout his whole esophagus was making him feel sick. Phil’s hope sparked that maybe, just maybe, Tommy would at least accidentally cough him out.

That spark of hope was extinguished when a wave of soda came splashing at Phil, making his already slippery claws let go of the flesh surrounding him and sending him down into the hollow organ below.

A few antagonizing moments later and Phil was left curled up in Tommy’s stomach, trying to process what had just happened. He was in a stomach. And not just a stomach, his son’s stomach. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he realized that his own son would kill him, and wouldn’t even know what happened to him. His family would think that maybe he was eaten by some wild animal, or got stuck somewhere and starved. Maybe they would just assume he left them. After all, they wouldn’t have a body to confirm his death. Tommy would have digested him by the time they realized he was missing.

Phil began to coil in a circle around the stomach and against the walls in a motion that would have mimicked pacing if he still had legs. The longer he thought about it, the worse the scenarios that entered his head got. Tommy’s stomach rumbled loudly, probably from the fact that Phil had been punching against all sides of the stomach for a while at that point, and he heard a groan from above him and felt the wall against him press in, and that was all it took for Phil to pass out from stress and fear.

*******

Tommy pressed a hand against his stomach, which growled under it as he let out a pained groan. His stomach felt uneasy, like there some sort of uncomfortable weight in it, and he felt like throwing up. He wasn’t sure why, since he had just been fine, but maybe it was the pasta. He got up slowly to go to his brothers and get some sort of medication or something to settle his stomach, but was stopped by Wilbur before he could reach the medicine cabinet.

“Toms, have you seen Phil? I don’t think he got any food yet and I haven’t seen him in a while.” Tommy scoffed at Wil before turning back to his quest for some kind of anti-acid.

“Maybe Phil’s the lucky one, if he didn’t get any of your fucked up food yet. I feel like shit, big man, honestly. Like, I feel like I’m about to throw up.” Wilbur’s face shifted to concern as he looked Tommy.

“I don’t think it was the pasta. Techno had some, too, and he seems alright. Maybe you should get something to help you empty your stomach, you probably just ate to much.” Tommy nodded along. Honestly, it made sense to him. And it would explain the queasy feeling of something swaying in his gut every time he moved, it was probably just to much food. “Alright then,” Wilbur continued, “I’ll go get you a pill or something and you go get a bowl.” Tommy did as Wilbur said and they met back up in the living room, Tommy with a big metal bowl and Wilbur with a pill and a small cup of water. Tommy quickly took the pill from Wilbur and swallowed it down and Wilbur slid the bowl closer to Tommy as he noticed him start to look more sick.

*********

Phil slowly woke up looking around him to see he was…in something, and still surrounded in pasta. The walls around him were tall and shiny and cold, much cooler that the dreadful heat of the stomach. Metal. A metal bowl? How’d he get there?

As he became more and more conscious, he began to process that there was yelling somewhere above him, too.

“…well then how the hell’d he end up there?!” “I have no fucking idea, I swear!!” “How could you not know?!” “Are you trying to accuse me or something?!” “Would you both please calm down!!”

Phil knew those voices anywhere. His vision cleared enough to see Tommy and Wilbur engaged in a shouting match, and Techno trying and failing to calm them down.

Phil began to try and get out of the bowl when he was suddenly picked up out of nowhere and practically smothered with attention from his sons, all of whom were fretting over whether or not he was ok.

“I- Im fine…” Phil said, voice hoarse from the screaming earlier. He was soon lifted up higher towards Tommy, who he realized had picked him up. Phil’s face fell as he realized Tommy’s cheeks were lined with tear tracks.

“Phil, I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what happened, I didn’t mean to, I swear, I-“ “It’s alright, mate.” Phil interrupted, leaning forward and hugging Tommy’s nose. “It’s alright.”

He felt Tommy’s body begin to shake with slight sobs as he began crying again, pressing Phil into his nose gently with his hands. He turned his head to see Wilbur and surprisingly Techno join the hug, too, both relieved that Phil was ok. They were both horrified to see Phil unconscious in the bowl, and knowing he had been in Tommy’s…it was hard to think about. They were just glad he was ok. And Tommy was just glad he’d forgiven him.

And Phil was just glad that his sons still cared, even if he couldn’t be the best dad to them at the moment. They were still a family, and he’d never choose to abandon or leave them.

#cyncerity #g/t #tw vore #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #cynwrites #quick JSchlatt reference in there lmao #ifk why good for you #Naga!Phil AU #naga!phil #g!tommy #g/t vore #tw puke mention #naga vore

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lowspoonsfood · 4 years

Text

Hard boiled eggs are a great snack and you can cook them in a batch, as many as you can fit in a saucepan. Just put them in a saucepan, cover with water, bring to the boil and cook them for about 10 mins from the time when it's started boiling. Once they're done, put them immediately into cold water (I usually do this in the saucepan - tip out most of the hot water without tipping out the eggs, then fill with cold, tip the cold out after a minute (as it absorbs the heat from the pan and the eggs) and refill with fresh cold - saves dirtying a bowl. You could also do it in the sink I guess?)

If you like them a little soft in the middle, 6 mins is about right for large eggs that started at room temp, and you can experiment with times to find what you like - I picked 10 because they should definitely be done by then even for large eggs and sometimes making decisions about things like that takes spoons. If you keep your eggs in the fridge (as I understand you have to in America bc of the way they treat eggs) then they'll probably be done by 10 mins but if they're large and you wanna be sure go for 15.

Ways you can use them

- just by themselves

- with a little salt

- roll in your fave herbs or spices or a pre-made spice blend (dukkah is a good one for this!)

- dip in salad cream or mayo or some kind of condiment that sounds nice to you

- marinate in miso or soy sauce or tea (google "miso egg" or "tea egg" for better instructions). takes a few days but is fucken delicious

- (more spoons) chop and put in a sandwich or on toast

- (more spoons) dice and mix with mayo or cream cheese, optionally add chives or cress, eat by itself or put in a sandwich or use as topping for pasta or a baked potato

- halve and use to top instant noodles (combine this with the miso egg trick for extra tasty)

- (more spoons) chop them up and mix with tomatoes, rocket (arugula), cucumber, green beans, lettuce or whatever you like for a salad

- turn into a full meal by combining with other low spoons snack options like pre-cooked meat, cheeses, fruit and/or nuts.

Note: the highest spoons part for me is removing shells from the eggs. It helps if you use older eggs (something to do with how well the white adheres to the membrane), and if you cool them immediately once they're cooked. You can get devices where you crack the egg into it before you cook it, but unless you have a dishwasher, this just adds something else to wash (which is worse than peeling the egg for me).

#2s #gluten free #vegetarian #low sodium #lactose free #cooking tips #recipe #submission

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shuadotcom · 4 years

Text

Letting You Go | KSJ

꙰ Summary: When returning home from vacation, the only person you want to see is Seokjin. When he isn’t at the airport to greet you, you decide to go to him. What you find breaks your heart. ꙰ Pairing: Seokjin x Female!Reader ꙰ Genre: Angst, idolverse ꙰ Rating: PG13 ꙰ Warnings: Profanity ꙰ Word Count: 2.1k ꙰ Project: @thebtswritersclub‘s February “dishonest love” project ꙰ A/N: Very big thank you to the lovely Noor @papillonsgf & Rid @taegularities for beta reading this for me and giving me their suggestions and commentary!! I appreciate you both so much!! 💗💗

You should know something is wrong as soon as you step into the terminal without seeing his broad shoulders hovering inches above the crowd waiting for you. You pull your phone from your backpack and check your messages, hoping to see one with a dozen exclamation points and sad faces accompanying an apology about being late. Instead, there are two new messages from Hoseok and Taehyung, asking when you would be landing back in Seoul.

You reply and tell them both that you’re already here and that you’ll stop by their dorm after dropping your luggage off at home. You scan the crowd once more before dragging your large suitcase behind you to get a taxi.

Two hours later, with your luggage sitting in the living room to unpack later, you’re leaving your apartment after a quick shower. You change into a blush pink sundress that Seokjin always compliments, saying he loves how the pastel color looks against your skin tone. On your feet are a pair of white heeled sandals he had bought you because he said he liked how they make your legs look.

The sun is hot as it beats down on you, making you start to sweat. You pick up the pace while cursing the unforgivable late summer heat. You arrive at the building soon after and greet the security guard at the desk. You’ve been here enough times that he recognizes you and always gives you a huge smile and loud greeting when you arrive. Once off of the elevator and in front of the apartment, it only takes two knocks before the door is thrown open, and you’re engulfed in a hug.

"Noona, you're back!" Jungkook pulls you inside, shutting the door behind you. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, Kook." You laugh and ruffle the younger man’s hair. Given his height, you have to stand on your tippy-toes, even in heels. You slip off said shoes and stick your feet into a pair of pink slippers by the door. Seokjin has often told you to leave a pair of your own there since you were at their place so much.

"Do I hear who I think I hear?!" Hoseok's voice reaches the living room, and you see his dark head of hair appear from the hallway as he runs over to pick you up and spin you.

"Hobi put me down. I’m too heavy!"

"Nope! And just because you said that, I'm going to keep holding you!" He tightens his grip on your waist and continues to twirl with you, making you let out a string of giggles.

"Hobi, put her down before she gets dizzy!" Hoseok sighs yet stops at Namjoon’s words. He’s next to pull you into a hug, followed by Jimin and Taehyung, who come barreling out of one of the other rooms. Yoongi is the last who’s been in the kitchen the whole time.

"I started making lunch for you since Taehyung and Hoseok said you'd be coming over." Yoongi grins at you, causing you to do the same.

"Aww, thank you, Yoongi! You guys are way too nice to me."

"Hey, stop. You're our friend, and we like having you around," Taehyung says, pulling you down to sit next to him on the couch.

"So, how was your trip? Was it nice to be back home?" Namjoon asks as he takes a seat on the couch next to you. Hoseok and Jungkook squeeze in next to him, squishing you against Taehyung.

"It was great. I enjoyed seeing my family again." You went on to tell them about your family reunion and how much had changed in your four years away from your home country. You left Korea in late June, only anticipating staying until early July, but you had gotten so caught up in being home again that you extended your trip to the whole summer.

As much as you love talking to your best friends about your family, you can’t help but gaze down the hallway. Everyone you have wanted to see has come and greeted you except for the person you wanted to see the most.

Once you finish your story, Yoongi announces that lunch is done, and he brings the large pot of noodles to the middle of the dining room table. Before anyone seats themselves, you finally ask the question that’s been gnawing away at you.

"So, where's Seokjin?" The question causes silence to overtake the room. The guys all share a look before glancing at you. Jimin is the one who speaks up first.

"He's out right now. He had a, uh, meeting."

"Oh. That's probably why he didn't pick me up from the airport. I texted him last night, and he said he would, but he probably forgot." More glances are exchanged. Before anyone else can say anything, the front door is opened, and the voice you’d waited to hear in person sounds throughout the apartment.

"I'm home!" You feel a smile break out across your face, but you don’t care about how goofy you probably look. You stand from the couch, intending to meet Seokjin when he rounds the corner into the living room.

“Hey, Y/n, wait.” With Seokjin being the only thing on your mind, you shake off the hand that Namjoon places on your shoulder and barely hear him from beside you.

"Seokjin, I'm back, and I..." Your sentence trails off as you see him enter the room, hand-in-hand with a petite Korean girl.

"Oh, Y/n, you're here!" Seokjin flashes you a large, bright grin, not noticing how your own smile has slipped away. He lets go of the girl's hand and crosses the room to sweep you into a hug that you only meekly return. "When did you get here?"

"Um, about half an hour ago." If he has any recollection of the conversation you had last night where he said he would meet you at the airport, he doesn’t let on.

"Well, I'm happy you're back! I'd like you to meet someone. The guys already met her last month, but Y/n, this is my girlfriend, Juhee. Juhee, this is my best friend, Y/n." The dark-haired girl bows to you, and you return the gesture even though you don’t want to.

Seokjin then goes on to talk about how they met, not that you’re listening. The only sound you hear is your heart beating too loudly and the blood rushing through your ears. Your stomach begins the acrobatic act that it always does when Seokjin is in the room, but it’s much different this time. Your hands are sweaty, and your body is shaking as you feel the hot, painful sting of tears in your eyes. Taehyung’s hand has slipped into yours at some point, trying to give you comforting squeezes.

"Right, Y/n?" Seokjin is speaking to you, which breaks you out of your stupor.

"What?"

"I said, we've been friends for almost three years, right?" You nod, too afraid to speak. Your throat is dry as a rush of dizziness makes your head spin.

You eye the girl that’s smiling and nodding next to Seokjin. She’s the same height as you, but that's where the similarities stop. Her hair is jet black and pin-straight, probably naturally that way. Her skin is clear and pale, and she’s the type of thin that you’d never be, no matter how hard you exercised. She’s everything you’re not and probably more.

You have to leave before you break down completely.

Without another word, you rush past Seokjin and leave the apartment as quickly as possible. Without any responses to the men calling your name behind you, you’re out of the door and all but running down the hall to the elevator.

“Fucking come on!” you hiss, fingers jabbing the call button with enough force to break it. Your vision is blurring, and your throat feels tight, feeling yourself about to cry.

Finally, the elevator dings, and the doors open, but before you can step in, you feel a warm hand on your upper arm, turning you around.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" Seokjin’s close and looking at you with concern. His eyes immediately widen in panic at the sight of the tears streaming down your cheeks. "Y/n, why-"

"Do you love me?" you blurt out. He looks taken back at the outburst.

"Wh-what?"

"I said do you love me?"

"Of course. You're one of my closest fr-"

"As more than a friend?" His mouth opens and closes a few times, his grip on your arm tightening slightly.

"Y/n, I have a girlfriend now." Again, that word, coming from his mouth and not talking about you, shatters your heart all over again and pushes more tears from you.

"I thought...I thought you were in love with me..." You watch his eyebrows furrow before his mouth goes slack. "Oh, I get it. You're allowed to flirt with me and buy me things and hold my hand and call me 'baby,’ but that doesn't make me your girlfriend." You yank your arm from his hold. It feels as though your heart is going to beat out of your chest by this point. "You can fall asleep on the phone with me, and you can fuck me whenever you're horny, but I'm not good enough to date?" Seokjin glances over his shoulder, probably making sure no one has overheard your loud tone.

"Y/n, I-"

"So what were we, Seokjin? Friends with benefits?" You’re met with silence. "I've been in love with you for two years, Seokjin! Two years! I’d feel like the luckiest girl on the fucking planet when you’d pull me into your lap or brush my hair out of my face or kiss my cheek. I fall for you more and more every day! Every time you touch me or compliment me or even smile at me, I feel like I’m going to explode because I’m full of so much happiness and love for you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else except you, Kim Seokjin, but you obviously never felt the same. I was just someone to pretend with until you got a real girlfriend, right?" On top of the pain in your chest, you’re also bubbling with anger at this point.

"Y/n, it's not like that. I care about you so much, I really do. I just...I never saw you as someone who could be my girlfriend."

"Why? Why her and not me?"

“Y/n-”

“Is it because she’s prettier than me? Am I too ugly to be your girlfriend?”

"Come on, no! You're amazing, and I think you're beautiful."

"Then why don't you love me, Seokjin?!"

"I don't know! I just don't know, okay?! But it doesn't matter because I'm with Juhee now, and I really like her!" You swallow the lump in your throat. That's all you needed to hear.

You turn on your heels and press the elevator button again. This time when the doors open, you step in without being stopped by Seokjin. It isn’t until the doors start to close that his hand shoots out and stops them. "Y/n, please don't hate me." You avoid looking at him, and you push his hand away.

"I don’t hate you, Seokjin." This is true. Your outburst has erased all traces of anger in you. All you feel now is a hollow emptiness in your gut. "Just don't talk to me for a while, okay?" You hit the button to close the doors, and this time, your eyes are on his face the whole time. You take in all of his features once more before the doors close and the elevator starts to move.

Once you’re alone, the real sobs you’ve been holding in slip out in the form of a shrill scream. More hot tears run down your face as you lean back against the wall, wrapping your arms around yourself as some form of comfort.

It isn’t until the elevator stops at the lobby that you realize you’re still wearing your slippers. There is no way you’re going back upstairs for your shoes, so you leave the building in the pink, opened-toed house shoes and start your walk home. Seeing how Seokjin has bought you those sandals, it is probably better that they stay anyway. You think of it as a small piece of him you’re leaving behind.

Picking up the pace, you’re intent on going home and getting rid of everything he has ever bought for you or given you as a gift. You make a note to get rid of the dress you’re wearing as soon as you get inside. The sooner you can get all thoughts of Kim Seokjin out of your head, the quicker you hope to be able to heal the painful, gaping hole in your chest.

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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years

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Akita and Zane talk after the battle in 'Awakenings'. The conversation... doesn't go as either of them expect.

Prompt: memories, from @ninjago-bingo‘s warm board:D

Trigger warnings: implied self harm (one or two characters dig their fingernails into their hands), discussion and introspection about most of the crimes the 'Emperor' committed, a lot of talk and introspection about murder.

Word count: 4682 (I've literally been writing this for like a month lol, kinda disappointed it ended up fairly short:/)

"We have to talk."

The girl with red markings on her face - Akita, he heard Lloyd call her - unsheathes her short dagger, eyes narrowed to slits.

He glances around the throne room, hands pressed to his head. The memories were still trickling through; strange islands and a forest of snow, a dungeon and... a noodle factory?

"Alright," he says quietly. She bears the same red marks of the bear he can remember Vex convincing him was a criminal, many winters ago. That could only mean-

It wasn't you, he reminds himself. It was the scroll, and the actions of a power hungry traitor.

You gave the order, his now infallible memory supplies, and, honestly, he has no rebuttal for that.

"Alright," he echoes meekly, trying to muster some emotion into his voice. "I know-"

"No," she cuts him off roughly, her eyes scanning the room. It is just the two of them now - the samurai had fled once they had recovered from the strange trance he had put them in. Vex had been locked in the dungeon by Lloyd, who was helping any of the samurai who could not quite remember their old lives.

He had ruled for sixty years. Some of their families might dead, some by their own hands.

They know this. He knows this.

Irrationally, he wishes there was some way to fix this. A spell, or a way to turn back the clock; some way to yell at a younger Zane to just scout the cave-

There is no way backward; only forward, out of this winter - and, possibly, into another one.

He stares at the girl in front of him, taking in her tattered clothing, the ease with which she holds her weapon. She's not afraid to fight.

"I don't owe you an explanation, Emperor," Akita says definitely, forcing out the words. "But you will give me one, or you shall never see the light of day again. My brother-"

His heart lurches, eyes widening. Brother.

"Knows that the dungeon has many empty cells," she finishes sharply, barely contained anger flashing in her eyes.

He keeps the facts brief, concise. Once this is all over, he can dwell on them - agonize over what he should have done; use it to be better next time. Atone for his mistakes, even if he can never truly make up for them.

"A snake capable of sorcery used a magic scepter to blast me and a vehicle to this realm. I was sent here sixty years into the past, which is why it took my friends so long to find me. I was also holding a similar magic scepter - one which amplifies the holder's power, but if held for too long, it corrupts one's mind."

"I know what happens next."

How-

"I watched your message to your friends," she replies curtly, by way of explanation. "I did not know that you and the Emperor were one and the same. Continue."

"Vex interrupted a process I was using to try and fix a- vehicle, which caused me to lose my memories. He told me that I was ill. He said that he was a great friend of mine, and that this realm belonged to me. He convinced me that Formlings were warmongers, and that the rightful king had overthrown me. Just before he almost killed Lloyd, he said something that caused my memories to return."

She frowns. "I do not understand. How does one lose their memories so easily?"

Akita stares at his metal skin, her eyes widening as if noticing it for the first time.

"I am not quite like you-"

"I know," she interjects, eyes brimming with anger. "I am not a murderer."

"I was... created," he replies, quietly. "Out of extra materials. I can act like others, but I do not always understand emotions in the same way."

Akita frowns again, raising her dagger. Her voice grows a dangerous edge; sharp and cold. "You never realized that your actions were wrong?"

They're entering dangerous territory. Some part of him wants to derail the conversation; stick to the facts and leave his emotions out of this.

But he owes her an explanation - he owes everyone an explanation. He owes them so much more, if only he could give it to them; erase the past and leave their quiet realm in peace.

"Before I came here, I would never have done such things - if I had my memories, I would never have done such things. Vex convinced me that they were the only way I could defend my throne. I did not know that they were wrong. The moment I realized what I had done, I tried to help your side. The right side," he finishes, ignoring the temptation to stare down at the floor instead of into her blazing eyes.

An indecipherable expression crosses her face. "You never talked to another? One of your... army, perhaps?" "Vex gave all the orders. He just asked me for approval. I never left this room." "And you approved them," she muttered, but it seemed to serve more as a reminder to herself than it did to him.

"What was your life like, before you entered our world?" Akita asks suddenly, suspicion still coating her voice. He blinks, the question unexpected.

"My friends and I can control and create different elements," he began, hesitantly. Carefully. "We were taught to fight. We protect our city from those-" "You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

"Those who cannot protect themselves," Zane finishes, guilt making his vision hazy.

He quickly blinks away the tears, all too aware of her persistent gaze.

"Two more questions," she says quickly, glancing behind her. "This room makes me uncomfortable. And so do you." The accusation is clear, but her eyes are not quite as cold as they had been earlier.

"What do you feel now?" Akita asks roughly, taking a step back. "You mentioned earlier that you do not feel emotions the same way that we do. Explain."

I could lie, he thinks, fleetingly. What if my feelings convince her that I am the Emperor even more than I am Zane? A voice at the back of his mind points out that he is - was - the Emperor.

He knows this.

He knows that he will have to acknowledge it once they are back home.

He knows that he cannot dwell on it now, or the winter will go on - inside his mind instead of outside it.

"I feel... guilt," he begins. "For the terrible crimes I have committed. Horror, at my own actions. Anger, towards that traitor. Relief - that I am no longer under his influence." An eyebrow touches her forehead, ever so slightly.

"How guilty?" It is almost a challenge, her voice rising in pitch threateningly.

"I will spend the rest of my life working to atone for my mistakes," Zane answers sincerely, resisting the irrational urge to squeeze his eyes shut. "However, I know that nothing I can do will ever undo them. But I can help others from people who- who... seek to manipulate them," he finishes quietly, a remorseful sigh punctuating the confession.

Akita says nothing; lips pressed in a hard line. Her blank, steadfast gaze meets his. The dagger clatters to the ground.

He draws in a breath sharply.

Picking it up, she squares her shoulders defiantly. "My people will know that... that there were two prisoners within these walls," she sighs, the weariness in her voice all too evident.

Yet he does not miss her glare; a barely contained anger that lurks just beneath the surface.

Akita straightens her spine, frowning menacingly as her hand tightens on the dagger.

He resists the irrational urge to take a step back.

"My brother and I will never forgive you," she snarls.

You do not have to, he would like to say. But he suspects that she already knows this.

"Come near either of us again, and I will make you long for death."

She shifts to her wolf form, baring her teeth - but when she stalks closer, he does not back away.

Suddenly, he is all-too-aware of the fact that the throne room is currently empty - bar the two of them.

He does not move.

It is not as if she could harm him - titanium is not easily damaged (yet, some part of him wonders if that is a blessing or curse), but they have faced enough villains for him to know how it works.

The villains die at the end; rightfully so.

Why should this be any different?

"You will pay for your crimes," Akita growls, shifting between her forms as if it is second nature. It probably is. "Emperor."

Her dagger clatters to the ground once again.

He does not move.

Why should this be any different?

---

"What's taking her so long?"

"Who?" The Samurai asks, the confusion on his face only amplifying.

"No- nothing," he mumbles, wincing. The adrenaline is wearing off - and with it, the fleeting distraction from the pain coursing through his chest.

Broken ribs? Probably. But he's got bigger problems to worry about - his minor injuries don't really matter when there's a warrior (because after all that she's been through, he thinks that she deserves the title - even if it's one she would never have wanted) seeking vengeance, someone who could tear apart this castle, brick by brick if she wanted to, alone with his brother.

His brother - who'd taken hers; encased her village in a tomb of ice, leaving behind no one but a teenager consumed with blinding anger - rightfully so, he admits, a bit wearily.

What happened to you, Zane?

Are you even... there? The person who used to stay awake with me when all I saw was the building crumbling before my eyes, night after night? The one who swore to protect those who couldn't protect themselves?

Are you still there?

"Can I, er, go inside?" he asks no one, trying not to breathe too hard. The Ice Samurai he'd been trying to help had vanished, most probably to try and get answers from someone else.

He owes it to these people to help them - if he'd just been faster, stronger, better, Aspheera could never have-

Not now, Lloyd!

He should probably open the doors - try and diffuse whatever fight they'd gotten into. Akita reminds him of Kai; both of them fiercely protective of those whom they care about, yet sometimes clouded by rage so thick they can barely see out of it.

But he's hesitating - there's always the possibility that her anger; prison of its own, might extend to him.

Not that he even has the right to condemn her for it, though.

Unwillingly, a fleeting thought presses itself to the forefront of his mind; beautiful white hair, a soft voice coated in honey-

Broken ribs, he reminds himself stubbornly, grimacing at the flare of pain as he draws in a breath sharply. She's gone, she's gone, and it's-

He bites his lip until the tang of iron fills his mouth, eyes fixed determinedly on the floor.

Not now, Lloyd!

Slowly, carefully, he pushes the door open. It creaks softly - but he doesn't think anyone hears it.

Oh, no.

---

"Akita?" a voice questions, hesitantly. He's half-leaning against the door, blonde hair almost completely hiding wary eyes all but squeezed shut in pain.

She stiffens, ignoring the part of her that learns to hunt, murder, the- the monster-

Blinking, quickly, she allows her mind to embrace the sharp, cold air on her fur, and her harsh, ragged breathing - until she can almost feel the shift in her heart, trading instinct for a different type of clarity, white fur for skin and hair.

Grabbing her dagger, she halfheartedly swipes it at the boy who makes her cheeks redder than they usually are, the boy who travelled across the ice seeking a murderer-

Well. He is in no condition to help anyone - they both know this.

But he does not have the right to interfere with this conversation - her feelings do not matter when his friend is-

"Leave us," she snarls, fingers digging into the hilt of her dagger. "What makes you think you have the right?"

Her voice grows colder, but she can't quite keep the tremor out of it.

"You did not find your village half-dead, or spend months mourning your brother," Akita snaps, frustration seeping into the words. Why does he always have to make everything so complicated?

"I know," he replies, hesitantly, eyes flitting between the room and the door. "But... this isn't the right thing to do, Akita."

"Do you think it was right for your friend to seize power from our rightful ruler? Do you think he was right when he imprisoned an innocent child for so many years?"

She doesn't bother to keep the venom out of her voice, ignoring the fact that the light brown of her skin has almost faded to white where she grips her weapon.

Taking a step closer, she bites her lip.

If he will make this his fight, so will she.

"The girl I told you about," Lloyd interjects. "H- Harumi." He forces out the name, as if the very mention of it ails him.

She raises her eyebrows. "What are you going to do? Distract me with stories about your girlfriend while he," Akita glares at the Emperor with a sigh, "escapes?"

"No," he replies softly. Brushing the hair out of his eyes, she doesn't miss his poorly concealed wince.

This is the friend he seeks?

There's a fragile silence, one of which she refuses to shatter. Nothing he can say will erase the horrific actions of this- this power-hungry ruler who has abused the gift he has been given; persecuted their lands, and forced innocents into lives ruled by fear and hatred.

"I- er-" Lloyd starts, visibly uncomfortable with saying... whatever it is he is trying to say.

She does not interrupt, but does not take her eyes off the Emperor, either. He has not moved or even contributed to their exchange yet.

Good, she thinks fervently. She does not need to force herself to try and feel sympathy for a man she has hated for so many long winters, one who has taken a piece of her heart and locked it away in a tiny prison cell.

"Did I ever tell you that- that... I watched her die?" he asks, aiming for a casual tone.

The hurt subconsciously laced into it makes something in her heart twist, as if it had been pierced by a shard of glass.

Outwardly, she does nothing more than raise an eyebrow.

For all the days they have spent trekking across the ice together, it suddenly dawns on her how little she actually knows about him.

"No," she replies carefully, dragging out the word. "Why?" "She-"

Akita can almost see his internal struggle - anger and fear and indecision and something she can't quite place her finger on meshing into another thing entirely.

"She- tried to murder," Lloyd flinches at the word, nails digging into his palms, "my friends. And I was forced to watch, helpless," he whispers, so softly that she has to strain to hear it.

"But when she- she died in a crumbling building, I- was... the one who caused it to fall."

"Your point?" she snaps; voice as sharp as her blade. He is the only thing standing between her and the Emperor; between the growing hatred she had allowed to fester for all this time, because one day she would finally make him pay-

Her friend visibly winces.

Too late does she realize her mistake, a fact that leaves her a bit sick to the stomach.

That's nothing compared to the bout of nausea that accompanies another realization, juts a second later.

How could I let my anger hurt another - one who did not deserve to receive it? Am I truly any better than the one whom I have condemned?

Well. The logical side of her mind points out that it is her choice to forgive, for such unforgivable acts; that the anger that had doused everything in its hue, every day, was to be expected-

"I apologize... for my conduct," she says quickly, forcing herself to meet his eyes. "You have never hurt me. I did not mean to hurt you." "It's okay- this- this isn't my fight anyway," Lloyd replies quickly, fingers wrapped around the door handle - but she doesn't even think he's aware of the fact. "I just- I just wanted to share something with you, something I wish someone would've shared with me, because-" He's rambling, words practically coated in a jumble of shaky nerves. "What is it?" Akita asks softly, losing a little of the stiffness in her tone.

"Murder- it isn't right," he repeats, hands pressed to his forehead. "But... it'll hurt you more than it will anyone else. I can't go a week without seeing her fall in my dreams, over and over again. I should've been glad, I guess... she'd hurt my friends and I so many times. But- but I'm the one with the nightmares, and all this- guilt. And I care- I care you, Akita. I know that I'll never understand how you've been hurt by- by the Emperor... just, think about how it'll affect you." Akita's eyes widen incredulously, but he's not done. "Just- don't let someone else make you hurt yourself." His voice is about a pitch higher than normal, but neither of them really register it. "Sometimes, the best kind of revenge is refusing..." Lloyd trails off, his eyes squeezed shut (a second later, he opens them again, blinking profusely), "to let anyone... make you hurt them."

Irrationally, she wants to break something.

That advice offers... an entirely new perspective. One that she had never thought of.

One that is- is unwanted, she insists fervently.

And now his fingers are pressing into his hands again, so tightly that she almost wants to yell - stop it, idiot, you're hurting yourself! - at him. "Because... it might haunt you lot more. And if they- they- really want to hurt you?" Both of them ignore the erratic, painful looking way his breathing starts to hitch just then.

"Don't give them... the satisfaction of it - by- your own hands."

Her mouth drops open.

No words come out.

What?

Out of the corner of her eye, she watches Lloyd slowly - a bit too carefully - push the door shut behind him. It creaks softly, but neither of the two left standing in the room really hear it.

She squeezes her eyes shut, far too many emotions almost crashing through her mind.

"You seek to rescue your friend. I seek revenge."

Blinking the world back into focus, her mind whirls and whirls; the storm unrelenting.

"I seek revenge."

What exactly did that mean to her?

She...

She did not quite know the answer now.

---

Akita does not speak for some time, her thoughtful expression plainly clashing with one of anger.

He does not speak, either, although it is for a different reason.

Lloyd's words have forced him to face the reality he has been avoiding ever since he smashed his scepter on the ground - ever since the decade-long winter had ended.

"And if they really want to hurt you? Don't give them the satisfaction of it - by your own hands."

"If they really want to hurt you."

There is only one whom Lloyd could have been referring to.

"You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

Somewhere within his mind, he is aware of the fact that the second his memories returned, the staff lay in pieces on the floor; all of that corrupted ice shattering into nothing.

He is also aware of the fact that sixty years of tyranny will leave behind much more than an altered climate.

If they even get back to Ninjago, what will have become of his city? It took his friends decades to find him - what could have happened during all that time?

Friends. Does he even have a right to call them that?

He is not quite sure - or even sure if all of them will be as forgiving as Lloyd.

The Green Ninja had always strived to find the best in people - to believe that anyone could make up for their mistakes, that they would want to. It had been to his friend's detriment, once - yet Lloyd had never quite given up on the world, in the same way that many of them had. Maybe it was some sort of childish naivety - or maybe it was just in his nature to hope, even after all they had been through, that everyone had some good inside them.

Yet, he had never met anyone who shared his friend's mindset - or at least to that extent.

Kai knows what it is like to have a sibling kidnapped, taken from them for no rhyme or reason - other than the fact that a cruel ruler who seeks power and exploits those around them for it will stop at nothing to get what they want.

Cole knows what it is like to die (well, almost, his logic points out) - to be imprisoned within yourself; a husk of a person, unable to live your life to the fullest.

His mind flashes to the thousands of innocent villagers he had frozen in icy prisons, practically caskets-

Irrationally, his hands begin to shake.

He chooses not to focus on that.

Nya used to hunt down those who hurt others, he recalls - and then squeezes his eyes shut.

Is she not quite similar to Akita in that regard?

The realization leaves him more gutted than he thought was possible. Had he really become the very person his friends worked so hard to stop?

He clenches his fists, the titanium covering his fingers grating together.

At least I am no longer holding the scroll, he thinks, fervently. Before long, the memory of a clear, quiet night pulls itself to the forefront of his mind.

The echo of a whispered confession; a brief explanation mixed with tears and shaking hands. A voice usually so bright, silenced to the shaky murmur of "I watched her die, Zane, and it was all my fault, it's all my fault-"

It was then when he had learned of- of an alternate timeline, his processor had inputted seamlessly. Another reality, wiped from their minds and the press of time. One that only existed in the memories of two of his best friends.

One that resulted in poorly concealed winces, seemingly arbitrary flinches, Nya throwing out any dresses she owned and Jay practically shaking with fear when he was asked to do certain chores. One that resulted in scars that ran far deeper than those of venom or sword. His memories had been useless then, too, his mind points out. How could he have let two of his best friends suffer for weeks on end, when he was able to upgrade or encrypt his memory drive at any time? When he was a n- robot, and should be able to recover memories that had been deleted or erased? The others could never be afforded that opportunity - yet, he had let the team down when it mattered most. If he could not be there for others, try to help them protect them from a force unable to ever be completely defeated, would he ever even halfway fulfill his purpose? He had pondered all of those questions - had ignored the pang in his heart when many pieces of the figurative puzzle clicked into place, for many weeks afterward. He had almost immediately vowed to be better - to ensure that his purpose did not go unfulfilled.

His purpose, he thought bitterly, as he squeezed his eyes shut. What had become of it now?

Another question to ponder, he supposed. And the realization that Jay - one of his brothers, one who was always equipped with a weapon and a joke too - would forever know what it was like to be kidnapped, held hostage, simply because a power-hungry figure cared less for another than anyone ever should.

Akita's brother had been scarcely less than a child - after his imprisonment. How could he have strayed so far from his original goals - how could he have strayed so far from what he had supposedly fervently stood for?

---

Lloyd's words still ring in her ears, his weary tone not quite matching their crazy implications.

She rubs her temples, frustrated. This was definitely not what she had come here for! She had come for vengeance - vengeance for the terrible crimes the Ice Emperor had committed, against her village, her brother, even her-

But what was the point of revenge if she was the one left scarred? a small voice in the back of her mind points out, doing nothing but adding to her indecision.

I cannot do this, she insists fervently, thinking of her brother's worn face - and the years he had spent imprisoned; a lone figure silently mourning a sister he did not know still trekked the ice.

Just as she had been mourning him, she thinks sadly. The pang in her heart may have lessened since she had realized that he was still alive, but it was still horrifying to think that he had lost decades of his life - she had lost decades of hers, too, in a different way, she muses - saddened, alone, imprisoned.

But is this what he would have wanted? For her?

He had always been the calmer, logic-based one. She was always running into fights, the one fueled by emotion and anger.

Well. She spares a moment for the future.

The Emperor would leave their world - possibly, to haunt another. She would remain here - with her brother and her village, the woods and the towering peaks of the mountains.

I only have this one chance, she reminds herself firmly. She fixes her eyes on the strange blue ones of the Emperor, and sees a future ruled by that one decision.

Her gaze flits towards the doorway, and she sees a future there, too.

She sighs, dropping her eyes to the ground.

But Katuru would want me to- to-

Be happy, she realizes, jarringly.

Taking a deep breath, she bites her lip.

"Will taking your life make me happy? Will it make up for the years of pain we have endured at your hands?"

Her voice rings out, hesitant yet determined.

"I wish it were so," she confesses wearily, ignoring the ache in her hands. She's been gripping the hilt of her dagger for so long, the blade's almost pierced her skin. "Alas, it is not."

The Emperor meets her gaze, but not completely - out of guilt? Fear? Anger?

She does not have the time to ponder meaningless questions.

"I despise you with every fiber of my being, you coward," Akita snarls, some of the anger she has become so accustomed to bleeding its way into her words. "But I will not tarnish my hands on someone as worthless as you, when you presently pose no threat to me."

The words spill from her mouth, but she almost wants to stuff them back inside at that very second.

This isn't why I came here! This isn't what I was supposed to do-

Another voice cuts through the one in her head, a weary confession from someone she knew nothing and everything about.

"Don't give them the satisfaction of it - by your own hands.

The next words she utter fill the room - steady, unwavering.

"Leave our world, and never return. Never. You have treated my people as if you are a monster, yet you say that you are sorry. As if you could ever care - after everything you have done to us!"

Akita sheathes her dagger, indecision still weighing heavily on her mind.

"I hope that you are as haunted by your time here as we all are," she spits, walking towards the door. She does not look behind her, but packs as much bitterness as she can into the last word she utters before the door closes behind her.

"Emperor."

---

A/N - I know this wasn't great, but honestly, it was really interesting to write and challenged me to think about certain things quite a bit. If you did read it, thank you so much!:D

#the ice chapter #ninbingo #ninjago zane #ninjago lloyd #ninjago akita #ns11 #zane julien #lloyd garmadon #ninjago fanfiction

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