#hard to seem cool and collected when everyone's seen you do a team task with ted lasso and utterly fail

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

sometimes when im bored i imagine various ted lasso characters on taskmaster and that cheers me up

[dennou-translations]

Violet Evergarden: Booklet 2

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I wanted that star. I wanted to be the person who would piece through that star.

   Leon Stephanotis and the First Star

   I had once seen a comet that only came around every two hundred years together with a girl.

It had happened years ago. That was one beautiful evening. Even now, I can still vividly recall the twinkling of the stars we watched on that day while our bodies shivered at the coldness of the nightly wind. Like jewels scattered over a dark canopy, the starry sky was enough to make one forget to even breathe. As it passed by, dragging its white tail, the meteor looked just like a fairy in flight with insect scales scattering about from her wings.

Whenever I looked at a beautiful night sky, I would think many times over, “Aah, now that I’ve branded this moment into my heart, I’d have no regrets if someone reaped my life away”. Should I lose my life, I wanted it to be on a starry night like that. I wanted to die with the memory of witnessing something stunning.

“May the night sky be a beautiful starry one on the day I die,” I wished.

But that one evening was a little bit different. Maybe because I had someone to watch the stars with me. Maybe because that was my first love.

She was a gorgeous person. Even more than the stars. Her hair looked like the Sun when shining under the moonlight and her blue eyes were like gemstones created from a mix of the sea and the sky. With her porcelain skin and skylark voice, the way she walked was just as that of a well-cared maiden. In reality, she was an orphaned ex-soldier, as well as an Auto-Memories Doll from a far-away southern country, so the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” was pertinent when it came to her.

She was most likely an once-in-a-lifetime kind of person, one that you couldn’t know if you would ever get to meet.

My chest throbbed even at the sigh that leaked from her when she was peeking at the telescope. When she looked my way and smiled faintly, I experienced an impact as if I had been hit in the head, giving in to a love that made me feel like my whole body would melt and crumble down.

“Master, astronomical observations are quite a wonderful thing.”

If, by any chance, my body were to be crushed by a star in that moment, only on that day did I want to keep looking at something, even if for just one second more. I wanted to keep looking at her. Forever and ever, I wished. That was what I thought.

This encounter had changed my life and decided my fate. I didn’t mind if people laughed at that, calling me a romanticist. I, Leon Stephanotis, whose destiny had been altered, would always look back on it.

On the day that I had watched the stars with Violet Evergarden.

   “There was a sea of gold in his land” – who was it again that had sung the praises of a desert like this?

“I’m beat.”

When bookworms read too much, their head’s capacity would exceed the limit, so they would automatically forget the things they had read in their early phases. I had confidence in my memorization abilities and yet I couldn’t remember this, so it was surely a passage from an adventure novel or something of the sort that I had read in my childhood.

——What a beautiful comparison.

When I actually stood in the middle of a desert, my impressions were drawn to the temperatures, sunlight and other such things regarding the environment instead, so this poetic expression hadn’t crossed my mind. In the destinations of my travels, I often reminisced to a certain someone who was somewhere in this world, as well as the things she, who spoke words as beautiful as that, used to say, as if borrowing them.

“So pretty...”

I liked the color of gold. I could observe the grains of sand moving smoothly for all eternity.

“Everyone, you did well; the books we excavated will be brought back by another group. Meaning that we from the starting line-up are finally off for the first time in months.”

As I was spacing out, I didn’t hear the commander’s words very well. I was only staring at the ground, missing out on everything. When I raised my head, the happy-looking faces of my bearded and somewhat dirty colleagues entered my eyes. All I understood right away was that we would get a vacation.

“After we get twenty days off, we’ll regroup in Iustitia, at Shaher’s headquarters. After that, we’ll go to that place in the south where the reconnaissance team was sent. Next will be our turn to bring back the luggage. Don’t let your bodies get weak.”

“Roger that.” Once everybody gave an agreeable reply in unison, we disbanded from the spot.

Iustitia, Shaher’s headquarters. The main office of my occupation. I was previously in a section called the codex department, devotedly working on the deciphering of documents and copying manuscripts, but now I had been transferred to a completely different section. It sounded good when we were called the leading actors, but it was actually a group of reeking adventure rascals, the literature collecting department.

I put my heavy baggage sack on the ground and heaved a breath. Wiping the white folk clothes that I had been provided with on-site, I dusted the sand off them. This clothing called dola – a long robe secured by a waist belt – looked flappy and inflexible at first glance, but it was surprisingly easy to move around in. It was made of a rather velvety silk material, so there would normally not be so much sand sticking to it, but since I was caught in a sandstorm until just a moment ago, there was no helping it.

We had returned from a thorough search in the ruins of an abandoned castle, once the dominion of a royal clan whose name was eminent in the past. A book burning movement had taken place in this land at a certain point, but we had received information that a scholar from those times, out of fear towards the situation, had hidden valuable books in the forsaken palace. The information was apparently right, so after wandering around all over the deserted castle, we had found dozens of books. The books that would be taken to Shaher’s headquarters were to be made into written copies and spread to the world.

Made for protection purposes, Shaher’s literature collection was also well-reputed in other countries. It was difficult to negotiate with the locals responsible for the abandoned castle, but we were allowed entrance this time as well thanks to our achievements thus far. Just like that, someone’s story, studies and feelings, which were supposed to have disappeared, would breathe once again. The books we had been looking for would be delivered to other people and comfort them during long nights.

——What a wonderful thing.

The working environment was awful, but I was proud of my job.

I sat down on my luggage and gazed at the cityscape while drinking water from my canteen. In this desert-zone city, everyone’s clothes seemed harmonized no matter what color they wore.

“Senior Leon, what will you do on your days off?”

As a junior who had not yet left the spot called to me, I furrowed my brows and looked at his face. He was a young man of masculine facial traits, which was enviable to someone as baby-faced as me.

“Hey, Sir.”

A rarity amongst the members of our unit, the man had not been born in Iustitia. If I wasn’t mistaken, he was a rich kid who had been born in a southern country and entered Shaher through connections with the foundation executives.

Getting a job at the Shaher Observatory was a daunting task even for those who had studied astronomy. It was hard to make it without learning in a good environment from an early age. Since Iustitia, the capital of stargazing, was the best place to study in, it was natural that the ones hired were mostly the locals.

——Well, this guy had connections, so this has nothing to do with him.

I pondered an answer. “Nothing in particular.” For the time being, I decided to be cold, acting as nonchalant as ever.

And this was also the same as always, but the junior took no offense in my crude response – rather, he laughed at me, looking happy. “Then that means you’ve got no plans. I was thinking of going home. If you’d like, how about we go together? We have a villa by the lake... If I go now, the schedule will allow my family to join in.”

“No, why do I—”

“Last time we had a break, I told my little sisters about your cool adventure story and they wouldn’t shut up about how much they wanted to meet you. Hey, hey, how about it?”

I was baffled. I had no idea what was good about me to this junior but he would oddly flock to me. The reason why I hadn’t told him about my plans right away was that I felt he would follow me if I did so. Honestly, he was a bother. Up to now, we had acted as a group. I wanted to be alone even if a second sooner.

“I’m not going.”

“No way... My family’s all pretty boys and girls! Sir, you like beautiful things, don’t you?”

“Do they look like you?”

“They do.”

“Then they might be pretty, but won’t be my type.”

“Sir! You’re horrible!”

“So loud. If your family’s waiting for you, hurry and go.”

While I gestured with my hand as if shooing a dog, the junior made a puppy-like sad face. Even though he had a big body, he was amicable and his display of emotions was richer than most people, making him look all the more like a dog.

“Then, if you ever feel like coming to see me during your break...”

“I won’t.”

“...could you contact a hotel called Varona in Leidenschaftlich?”

“I won... uh?”

“It’s a first-class accommodation establishment. It’s under my uncle’s administration, so you can get a stay there immediately, and I can pick you up as soon as you give me my name. Oh, you’re making an interested face, huh? Want to come with me right now?”

What piqued my interest was the word “Leidenschaftlich” – that was all.

——That’s where the CH Postal Company is.

And it was also where my first love worked at.

“You were from Leidenschaftlich...?”

“That’s right. I did say it in my self-introduction when I joined the department.”

“Well, I don’t listen to people I have no interest in...”

As expected, my junior gave a happy-looking smile with his whole face. “Sir, I like that you’re equally unfriendly to everyone. People only got close to me because of my title... and my family’s social standing... but Sir, you’re cold, and that feels nice.”

“Your suffocating actions are a pain in the ass to me. Besides, hum...”

“What is it, Sir?”

“Hum, say... is the CH Postal Company well-known?”

“Do you know Violet Evergarden?” – the reason why I couldn’t ask this was a literal embodiment of how much I lacked guts, I thought.

With an “aah”, my junior immediately made a face like the name rang a bell. “I know them. It’s the company of that businessman, Claudia Hodgins, right? They’re popular. Shocking that the name of a company would come from you.”

“I’m an adult, after all. I’d know the name of one or two renowned businesses at least.”

“That’s a lie, ain’t it? I already know you don’t have interest in anything but stars. Erm... if I’m not wrong, all the postal companies of Leiden got sucked into it. They also succeeded in company split-ups. Their president is a celebrity too. The newspaper series where he talks to other entrepreneurs is a trend... It got adapted into a book just recently. There’s a chapter in the extra edition where he talks to his secretary and the president of an affiliated company, and it’s so fun. The book’s in my room at the headquarters, so you can take it with you and read it all you want.”

“Is there nothing about business in that book? Like, about the Auto-Memories Doll field... Hum, according to my research, there should be a rather famous Auto-Memories Doll in it... Don’t know if she’s still there, though.”

I timidly attempted to ask, yet it seemed my junior didn’t know the details. That was expected. The number of people who could hire Auto-Memories Dolls was limited, so hardly anybody would know even the name of a famed Doll unless it was someone marginally acquainted with them.

“I wonder. I do sorta know that they apparently have one real beauty of a Doll. But I also have a good-looking face... so I don’t yield to beauties from here and there.”

“Got it. Thanks for the info. And for the nice conversation. Go home.”

“Sir...! If you get bored of being alone, please remember me!”

Leaving behind my clingy junior, I took off from that place. I strutted with a hand in my pocket.

My junior wasn’t a bad guy. He had a high-handed personality but fit into the category of good person. He must have talked to me like that because he knew about my background as an orphan who had lost his parents and got a job at the astronomical observatory by way of assistance from Shaher. Meaning he was worried about his senior, who would be spending his vacation alone with no lover or family. The reason why he had invited me to a house where his family would be was probably that he was exposing his intentions in his own way.

——But to hell with that.

I wanted to be alone. To say that the people who thought I was pitiful were the actual pitiful ones was my essence. I had always enjoyed watching the stars by myself anyway, and I enjoyed books about stars too. Book reading wasn’t meant to be done with two people, right? I liked being alone. This was also because I had lived a life of accepting solitude for a long time, but if anything, it was harder for me to settle down when I was in someone’s company.

When I turned the street corner and confirmed that he finally wasn’t following me anymore, I let out a relieved sigh.

——Alone at last. Time and space just for me.

The times when I was by myself like this were the ones I felt most comfortable in, and while I did have some things to reflect upon in that regard, unfortunately, I didn’t have a family to pester me about having children, unlike the rest of society. Because I was alone.

——I get that it isn’t a good thing.

There were things that you couldn’t get used to or change, despite understanding why you should. I was equal parts as obstinate as I felt inferior to those who had families. Only one person had ever made me want to be with her for a little longer when I was in her company.

——Only one.

Our circumstances were similar and we were also alike in that we were burdened with loneliness, but it wasn’t as if I liked her because of the similarity. It was because she seemed like she would be all right even if she were on her own, so I had wished to stay by her side. To get close to her. I “liked” her in that way. It wasn’t as if I wanted her to do something for me. I was the one who wanted to do something for her. It was that kind of “like”.

It had happened a long time ago.

After we had spent a little time together, she left. When we were bidding our farewells, I stopped her and confessed.

“Violet.”

I told her I was in love with her. I didn’t ask her, “I like you, so what do you wanna do?” – I simply told her I liked her.

“I’m... I’m... in the codex department now, but... I actually wanted to be in the literature collecting department like my father.”

She gave me this answer: the way that she cherished me was different.

“I had my hopes up that maybe my mother would come home one day if I waited here, bringing my father back with her... so I kept shutting myself in until this age, without ever stepping off into the outside world. That was possible in this place and I wanted it myself. But... just now...”

But if we ever happened to meet again, she wanted to spend time with me.

“I’ve just made up my mind. I’ll go around the world like you.”

In that moment, the woman who had said that she couldn’t feel emotions...

“I might face danger. I might lose my life without anyone ever finding my body, just like my parents. But—But that’s okay. I’m thinking of choosing that path.”

...smiled at me like a normal girl, looking happy, and told me something.

“If I do that, I’m sure we might get to meet someday, somewhere, under a starry sky. We’re both gypsies. And if that happens, will you...”

——...watch the stars with me again?

“Yes, Master.”

She told me that. She said it. This alone was already enough for me. This alone gave me the courage to come out of the world that I had been secluding myself in. Even if my love wasn’t requited, even if we never saw each other again, I was so happy.

She.

Violet.

Violet Evergarden.

Just that – just the fact that she had promised to watch the stars with me – had made me happy to the point of changing my life.

I kept making transfer requests ever since that day, finally earned approval and ventured myself into the outside world. The world other than Iustitia that I saw for the first time was bustling with a dizzying variety of things, which made me regret secluding myself. But surely, if I hadn’t met her, I would have taken a lot longer to go outside. No, I might have never left that bird cage to begin with.

That environment where I was allowed to wallow was terribly indulgent. After all, everyone was awfully nice to me for not being able to stand up, just because I was sad.

I didn’t simply think that I would definitely get to see her at least once. The probability of an astronomer and an Auto-Memories Doll, who had spent time together at work, meeting even once was surely the same as the meteor we had seen that day – once every two hundred years.

I was being ridiculous. If I really wanted to see her, I should just go visit her postal company in Leiden. The reason why I didn’t do it was that I was scared. That maybe her words were just out of friendliness, and that, if we did meet, she wouldn’t even remember me and I would be rejected. On top of being terrified of this, I also had a dream.

That if we ever happened to reunite, I wanted us to meet again truly by coincidence, under a starry sky.

If something like that really were to happen, just what would I do? Would I smile? Cry? Or ask for her love again?

I nodded at a passerby who had almost collided with me and started walking again. I had no particular destination. I could also go back to the headquarters just like this and be an idle bookworm in my own room, but going sightseeing around this city for at least a little bit was also good.

——I won’t get to see Violet if I stay in that place.

I had no free time to spend money, so I could afford the luxury of staying at a remotely nice hotel. Having made up my mind, I went into the main street and began looking for accommodation in the desert capital.

   Local idioms were honestly my weak point. Even though it was a common language, it was hard to catch because of the many dialects. When I talked to elders, I was done for.

However, I could perfectly understand that the inn’s owner, an old gentleman, had treated me like a “young lady”. Of course, I told him he was mistaken, but he didn’t hear it. He led me to my room with a hand around my hips.

The room was quite a high-class one, so I let it slide. If it were my old self, I would have been as furious as a raging fire. But I had grown up. By holding back my anger, I would manage to spend the night in a proper bed, where it didn’t seem like bugs would show up, so becoming an adult was for the best. Even if my self-respect decreased a little.

While I was chilling in the room and writing my diary, the sun went down in a blink of eye and it was getting late into the evening.

   “Heave-ho.”

It was the dead of night. I put on warm clothes and prepared myself to go out.

I wanted to observe the desert’s starry sky at my own leisure. As our activities had been limited to daytime ever since we had arrived here, I was now finally getting to do the things that I actually felt like doing. I had watched it together with everyone else from the windows of the cheap inn that the literature collecting department’s personnel had stayed at, but as expected, I wanted to see it from a spacious place with no noise or anything of the sort. As a scholar born in the so-called “capital of stargazing”, I obviously was going to have my fill of the desert’s night sky.

Unable to contain my feelings of excitement, I left the room after my lips relaxed a bit. For the heck of it, I greeted the innkeeper and told him I was going to see the stars. When I did so, he made a worried-looking face.

Apparently, women were forbidden of wandering outside at night in these lands. He couldn’t stop me from going out since I wasn’t a local, but warned me not to get too close to men. It wasn’t as if there were many ruffians among the people who walked around at night, but simply that this city had this kind of culture, so if the men suddenly spotted a woman, they might think badly of it. I had grown up in a men’s dormitory watching a bunch of idiots, so I understood what he was trying to say.

I showed him the retractable cane I was holding, and while I was at it, I also demonstrated with one swing that a blade came out from the tip as well. It was not for killing anyone, but it sufficed for making the other party recoil and holding them back.

Receiving the innkeeper’s applause from behind, I ventured myself outside.

The temperature gaps between nighttime and daytime was extreme in the desert. Having been raised in a mountaintop astronomical observatory, I was used to areas where there was a discrepancy in temperatures between day and night, but even then, I could bring myself to deem it as comfortable due to differences in humidity. The instant I stepped outside, I shuddered with a “brr”.

However, I forgot the cold as soon as I saw the sight spreading overhead. Surely, God must have dropped His jewel box. The starry sky unfolded in a way that made even someone like me come up with such a poetic saying.

Due to the fact that it was nighttime, there were few people out, but it wasn’t as if nobody was wandering about the city. Just as the innkeeper had said, it seemed that someone with a womanly appearance (I wasn’t a woman at all, though) walking around did catch people’s eyes, as they called to me countless times. I put myself on guard in each of those instances, and everyone withdrew with the same caution as the innkeeper.

Not letting the women walk around late at night was also meant for protecting them.

I had heard that there was a place for stargazing aimed at tourists somewhere a little far from the city, so I headed there, for safety as well. Several tents were erected around the sparse green area. In addition to privately built tents, there were also merchant tents selling drinks and food.

After looking through the signboards with the prices of the alcohol and warm soups that people of this region consumed and were familiar with, I picked the alcohol. I was an adult now and on vacation, so I told myself that it was okay to drink today and gave myself permission.

I went for a cloudy-colored alcoholic drink simmered in a large pot called the witch’s cauldron. It was warm and sweet, with a slightly spicy aftertaste. It warmed your body when you drank it and was the best delicacy to savor in cold weather.

Some people invited me to enter their tents, but I refused and steadily began setting up by arranging the astronomical observation tools that I had prepared. I assembled a demountable astronomical telescope over the sheets.

Even though this was said to be a place for stargazing, not everyone seemed to be astronomy freaks like in Iustitia – most of them were lying on the ground, enjoying a conversation with their companions while relishing in the jewels of the night. Everyone other than myself had simple handheld telescopes, so a few locals started appearing fussily around me, looking greatly interested. If anything, there weren’t just tourists.

A young father who had a child with him shyly came to ask me, “How much is it for you to let us take a look?” Apparently, he had mistaken me for a merchant.

“I don’t take money for it. It’s something for me to enjoy myself.”

The young parent made a bewildered face at my blunt reply, but nervously stepped in front of the kid and said, “It’s okay even if it’s just for a little bit, couldn’t you let this child take a peek?”

“Sure, it’s fine.”

He was also surprised at my ready consent. As he asked one more time if I really wasn’t going to charge for it, I declared that I wasn’t, swearing by this land’s god.

I beckoned the child. Our heights didn’t match since he was too small, so I lifted him by the hips.

“Can you see them?”

“Just a tad higher.”

“This much?”

“Amaziiing.”

At the child’s delighted look, the father and I locked eyes with each other and laughed. Then, other people who had been surrounding us at a distance came over one after another, asking me to let them see next. Whenever I said that I wasn’t charging any fee, they would ask me back, “Are you a saint or what?”.

In a land where you could see such beautiful stars, astronomical telescopes weren’t wild-spread among locals, enjoyed only by tourists and outsiders. That was probably the case. For them, this was an expensive item brought by outsiders. The stars were beautiful enough at naked eye, so if I had to say it, telescopes weren’t necessary. But if there was something that would help them see better, there would obviously be people saying that they want to take a look.

——Guess I’m gonna contact Shaher’s donors and indicate this place as a potential donation site.

If this pleased so many people, maybe it would be nice to have a telescope that everyone could look into, just as there were benches where everyone could sit on along the streets. I liked stars, so it made me happy even if just one more person fell in love with them.

“Having fun?”

“We are! You’re so generous!”

The figure of an elderly man much older than myself smiling like a boy, looking extremely happy, struck home pretty hard. It wasn’t like I wanted to hang out with anyone or that I had a preference for getting along with everybody. That wasn’t the case at all.

“This thing’s pricey, ain’t it? You okay with people touchin’ it without a care?”

“It’s not made for decoration; it’s something to look at.”

But these kinds of moments were nice.

——Very nice.

If these once-in-a-lifetime encounters would increase the proportion of stargazing in someone’s life, nothing could make me happier.

——When I get old, I guess I’m gonna run a rent-a-telescope or something like that somewhere.

I decided to take a few steps back and let everyone enjoy themselves.

This sensation that the joy of the surroundings was becoming more and more contagious. This feeling that people were gathering there only out of curiosity and adventurous spirit, not for profit. It didn’t seem fitting of my usual self, but something like this was also conceivable every once in a while.

With nothing to do, I naturally started looking around. Wonderful night, wonderful atmosphere.

The figure of someone standing still amongst it all entered my field of vision even without me wanting to. Everyone else had a companion.

The person was clad in dola like me and had a veil covering her face. From her physique, I could somehow presume that she was probably a woman.

Hoping that no weirdos would go talk to her, I worried about and kept watch over the woman, just like people had done for me. If she got caught up by anybody, should I intervene?

I used to hate women, yet here I was, concerning myself with one. I might have a misconstrued sense of justice, but I at least had to care.

I was just looking at her for a little while simply for that reason, but the instant that the wind blew strongly, all of my nerves became her captive. Her veil came off. It came off just slightly and I could see her face.

Her golden hair fluttered leniently. Her shapely profile was exposed under the starry sky. This beauty that could be discerned even in the nightly darkness was breathtaking.

It was really just a few seconds’ time and she immediately fixed the veil back on tight, but I had already seen her, so I knew. I knew.

I knew who that was.

Distancing myself from the telescope, I walked unsteadily towards her. Like winged bugs that gathered up to light.

This person literally shone like a lantern in my life. It was fire that wouldn’t disappear, no matter how much time passed. Time only strengthened the flame’s vigor.

That was why, aah, I... I...

“Violet Evergarden... is that you?”

That was why I called to her at that moment, with a shrill voice. As she looked at me, her eyes slowly crinkled, the corners of her lips went up and she smiled at me.

I felt like tearing up at that.

“It has been a while, Master.”

I had dreamed of this.

“Is it really you?”

I had dreamed of this day.

“Yes, Master.”

Always had been.

“Stupid, I’m not your master anymore... I have a name too... You’ve probably forgotten about it, but I... My name is...”

I had dreamed of this day and had always been thinking about what to say if we ever got to meet again.

“Mr. Leon Stephanotis. Is ‘Mr. Leon’ all right?”

If it were under a starry sky with not a single cloud, we could talk about its bare beauty. If it were on a rainy day, we could discuss the mythology related to the constellations.

“Did I mistake it? I have confidence in my memorization skills, but...”

If it were on a night where a once-in-every-two-centuries meteor were to pass by, we could share stories of the past in which we had observed the sky together.

“No... you got it right. You got it... Just ‘Leon’ is fine... Violet, the time you spent with me was so long ago, and yet, you sure... managed to...”

I had dreamed of this. You had no idea, did you, Violet Evergarden?

“You sure managed to remember.”

You were my first love. The first person I fell for. That day was the first time I confessed to someone.

“Leon, do you recall the promise we made?”

I opened the door to courage. I opened it thinking it would be okay even if I got hurt. But instead of hurting me, you accepted it. You broke my love to pieces, but still acknowledged it.

“Yeah.”

I had dreamed of this. Of this moment. You didn’t have to remember it. You could have forgotten what you had said to me. But if nothing else, I wanted to have one more look at you before I died.

“Have you memorized...”

One more time.

“...the names of a few stars?”

I wanted to see you one more time.

Violet Evergarden. I – the sixteen-year-old Leon Stephanotis – was in love with you.

He was in love with you. So was my current self. Now that you were in front of me, I could tell as much, even if I didn’t want to.

The flame inside my chest was saying, “This woman is the one who started the fire.” It told me that you were the woman who burned me up. You had burned me, and you still were. You melted everything that I had locked up within ice. It told me that you were the woman of my fate.

Violet wordlessly nodded in agreement. She nodded like a child. She was happy that I remembered what she had told me – I could tell by the facial expression she was making.

——You used to be so expressionless and doll-like – who was it that changed you so much?

You weren’t a doll anymore now. More like a girl who had someone’s love. You didn’t look like anything but that in my eyes ever since you were with me, though. But now, surely you had someone. This someone had changed you to that point, right?

“Violet,” I said, suppressing the pain of my sweltering chest. “If you have some time, won’t you spend it with me?” I asked.

I was attempting to open the door to courage again. Regardless of what awaited me beyond it, even if I regretted opening it. I asked nevertheless.

You changed me. You made me who I was. You probably didn’t know that. You didn’t have to.

“Yes, by all means.”

And this beautiful woman in front of me, too.

“I had been waiting for a day to come when I inform you about the fruits of my studies.”

Surely, she had also been made by someone.

“Should we ever meet, I had wanted to report them to you, even if you did not remember.”

Envy, affection and attachment ran through my body.

“That is what I was thinking.”

My sixteen-year-old self was screaming. “I was in love with you. I was in love with you. I was in love with you. I’m in love with you. Even now, I still like you,” he shouted.

I no longer had any of the youth and recklessness of those days. However, regarding my love for her, the me from back when I confessed to her was still here.

“I’m sure what I’m gonna say now will trouble you. But would you listen?”

I was still here. That version of me was still inside me.

Violet Evergarden, you...

“You can laugh if you want; you see...”

...to me, you... a woman like you was...

“You were my first love.”

Violet Evergarden, you...

“I still like you. Forgive me.”

To me, you were a woman of the stars.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

WandaNat x Reader : Kiss The Chef

Summary: Food is the way to the heart! In this case at least.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,883

* * * * * * 

“I said minced, this is chopped.” You resist the urge to shout, instead choosing a mild anger.

The man frowns, eyes glancing at the garlic on the cutting board and back to you.

He clearly doesn’t know the difference.

A deep sigh wracks your body before you fan him aside, picking up the chef’s knife and a fresh garlic clove. Then mincing it yourself and making sure he sees the difference.

“Now you certainly don’t sound like someone who loves their job.” 

Setting the knife down, you wipe your hands off on your towel, and turn to your long time friend and pain in the ass, Mister Tony Stark. 

“Why are you in my kitchen Anthony?” You ask, passing him, and stopping at the sauce station to taste test.

Tony feigns hurt, hand over his heart,“ that is no way to greet a friend.” 

You simply look at him, a bored expression on your face. In short telling him to get on with it because you have a kitchen to run.

He nods,“ alright alright. I’m here to cash in that favor you owe me.” 

“Did you not do that already? Cause I’m pretty sure I catered your second wedding my friend.” You remind him.

Clicking his tongue, he tells you,“ you got paid. That was a job, this is a favor.” 

The urge to groan is high but you don’t. A deal is a deal.

“What is it?”

* * * * *

Adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you eye the large facility, before heading inside with a sigh.

Tony is waiting at the door for you with an all too familiar smug grin on his face. If you were the violent type you would’ve smacked it off. 

“Don’t look so proud.” You huff.

Chuckling, he throws his arm around your shoulder and begins the tour of his compound. He takes you around to the gym, shows you his lab, and the living quarters where your temporary room is, then finally shows you the way to the kitchen.

As you walk you memorize where you’re going, since this’ll be the route you take most often for the next month. 

Once inside, you survey the room with narrowed eyes, checking all of the equipment it’s fitted with. It’s all state of the art, which Tony brags about, and it’s not a problem but it does mean you’ll have to get acquainted with it all. 

Tony also informs you of F.R.I.D.A.Y his fully automated A.I. He let’s you know how it works, how to order fresh ingredients, and how to pull up recipes(mainly his favorite meals but also those of his teammates. 

“And the pièce de résistance.” He jokes, then grabbing a f/c fabric and shaking it out.

‘Kiss The Chef’ is written across the front of the apron in white and Tony happily places it around your neck, despite the blank expression on your face.

The man always finds your stoic and aloof personality amusing. Especially since, while cautious, he proves to be the exact opposite. Still you two are friends. 

You’re expecting Tony to leave. With it being well past six you decide to prepare dinner and the man knows you’d rather he not hover. But he does. 

Still you move through the kitchen with the same grace as you do your restaurant. 

With this being your first day as their chef, you want to make a good impression, so you fix a meal you’d perfected long before you’d become a professional chef. 

All the while you’d had to stop Tony from dipping into the food you made. Snapping at him more than once and slapping his hands away from the food. Until eventually you kicked him from the kitchen with a task to go get everyone. 

Using that time to set each plate on the table, with white wine as it’s a compliment to the pasta dish. Making sure they all look presentable and that the table looks nice but not cluttered, you go back into the kitchen to give them their space to eat.

You don’t even try to hide your proud grin when you hear their reactions to it. First their awe at the set up and then the silent chatter about how much they enjoy the meal. 

As you wait, you nibble on the leftover food and drink a beer. Until Tony comes in to bring you to meet everyone.

“Guys this is a friend of mine, Y/n. Y/n this is Steve, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Natasha, Carol, and Rhodey.” You nod to everyone, eyes lingering on the brunette Wanda and the red head Natasha. 

They look familiar you just can’t place where you’d seen them, so you move past that.

“Y/n is the chef who prepared this meal. As a favor to me, she’s agreed to be our chef for the next month, hopefully by which we can have the position filled permanently.

Everyone nods at his information and the man you now know as Rhodey speaks up,“ well thank god for that. This was incredible. I’m assuming you have experience as a chef.”

Nodding you tell him,“ I’m head chef at a restaurant in Manhattan called-”

“Pezzo di Paradiso.” Wanda interrupts with wide eyes.

Beside her, her redhead girlfriend holds the same expression.

How had they not noticed? You work at their favorite restaurant. And this is a dish they’d thought tasted familiar. 

They’d seen you more than a few times there. They even considered asking to thank you after a meal on more than one occasion but always became flustered at the idea of having an actual conversation with you.

Mainly Wanda. The young woman had developed a crush on you that grew with each visit to your restaurant. A crush that Natasha had continuously teased her about, despite her own attraction to you. 

Now you’re to be in their home for an entire month.  

That seems to fly by quicker than anyone liked.

Over the next couple weeks the team finds themselves loving absolutely everything you cook and growing to like you as a person in general, which admittedly takes a moment since you’re pretty closed off. 

Some nights were spent teaching one of them a certain recipe or valuable techniques. Your two main “students” being Wanda and Natasha.

At first the women weren’t sure about invading your environment as you worked but you’d assured them you didn’t mind showing them some stuff. Especially since you allowed their teammates to learn from you.

What everyone had begun to notice was your approach to the women. While with everyone else you were stern and slightly frustrated, you were much more patient and forgiving with them.

On more than one occasion Tony found you smiling or chuckling softly at Natasha’s mistakes with meals or Wanda’s curiosity toward the meals you made.

He’d teasingly asked you why didn’t snap at them for hovering or being in your space and when you stumbled to answer him he knew. Your month in the compound had lead you to develop feelings for the women.

Which had ate away at you. 

The women are in a relationship. Clearly in love with one another. You knew that your feelings for them would amount to nothing as they are obviously happy together.

But that doesn’t make leaving any less hard.

Your month is up. Tonight is your last night as their chef. So you plan to go all out, as both a thank you and a goodbye. 

Using F.R.I.D.A.Y, you pull together everyone’s favorite meals. It’d been a while since you yourself cooked eight different meals but you still give it your all. Even when you set the table. 

You have F.R.I.D.A.Y call everyone down after you’ve set name cards around the table. You know there’s a chance that you’ve overstepped, having left red roses at Wanda’s and Natasha’s spots.

It’s your way of telling them that they are indeed special to you, without the risk of saying the words to them and having that blow up.

As had become usual, you hear their excited chatter as they sit down, and even their comments pointing out the difference in their spots to Wanda’s and Natasha’s. 

You present them all with a three course meal. Starting simply with salads for everyone, again being special with Natasha and Wanda as you give them soups from their countries of origin. 

The second the smell of the Shchi hits Natasha her mouth waters and while she is mesmerized by the food, she finds herself mainly focused on you as you place a bowl of Zöldségleves in front of Wanda.

Both women then look at you. 

It’s clear you’d paid more than enough attention to them as they spent time with you in the kitchen. And you’d noticed the few times the women mentioned missing the taste of food from their homes. 

Which is further proven when you serve them their favorite meals from their home countries. Chicken Paprikash for Wanda and Pelmeni for Natasha. 

By the end of the night everyone is stuffed, not leaving though until they toast to you and thank you for your services. 

Natasha and Wanda, set on one particular goal, wait for everyone to leave, before going into the kitchen. 

They find you putting away the leftovers from each dish, named sticker labels pressed to the side of the tupperware. As always they’re flustered and attracted to the sight of you moving in the kitchen so elegantly. Like this is truly your element. 

“Oh,” you finally notice them, taking a hardly noticeable step back in shock,“ is there something I can help you ladies with?” You ask, ignoring the heat that’s begun to rush up your neck at the realization of your situation.

“In fact there is.” Natasha says, a smirk tugging at her lips.

You’re almost positive this is the moment they tear you a new one for leaving the roses and obviously making their meals more special than the rest of the teams.

“We were hoping we could give our compliments to the chef.” Wanda speaks slowly, a small purposeful step forward.

Fighting a confused frown, you nod,“ um, well, compliments received.” 

The women take notice of your nervous state. It isn’t often that you act this way. As you usually keep a cool and collected air around yourself. 

And unbeknownst to you, this gives them every bit of information they need. Their thoughts that you are attracted to them as they are you had just been confirmed by you.

“Actually, Wanda and I believe our actions could speak much louder than our words.” Natasha’s voice drops to a flirty tone.

You aren’t sure if you heard her right, but it’s clear you did when Wanda nods and takes yet another step forward.

Hesitantly, she reaches for your hand, and releases a breath when you let her take it.“ We’d really like to show you are gratitude.”

Her innocent words hold a suggestive tone and you swallow, glancing at Natasha who simply smiles reassuringly. So you nod and let them pull you from the kitchen.

You aren’t sure if this will be more than it’s implied to be but you’re eager to find out.

* * * * * * 

[mk-wizard]

Optimus Primal: Analysis of a bot who achieved “Nirvana”

Hello. It’s been a while since I’ve done a Transformers article, so to make up for lost time, I am going to do one on a character who was not only famous for their various bodily transformations, but also their spiritual transformation. I am talking about Optimus Primal.

So to get started, what exactly is Optimus Primal besides a Maximal who shares a name and helmet style with Optimus Prime? If you’re thinking that he is the Maximal equivalent of Optimus Prime, you would be dead wrong. Despite his name and looks, Primal is a great hero by his own merit who achieved greatness through grit, hard work, self sacrifice and inner growth on his own and without standing even for a moment on the shoulders of any giant. If anything, he is the reason Optimus Prime lived to make his own legacy. To understand and appreciate all of this, one must delve deep into the life story of Optimus Primal.

In the beginning, Primal was an average ranking leader of an exploration ship called the Axalon and his mission was to observe and collect data on other planets and their life forms. He was intelligent, honourable and not above having a sense of humour. However, he can turn and be very stern. The fact that he was young and inexperienced also showed in how he would have slip ups like making bad decisions, making one too many speeches and even losing his temper. All the same, he was the type who would learn quickly from his mistakes and constantly grow. He is also a skilled fighter with guns, swords and he is shown to be a martial arts master of some kind. He also seems to be part of the air force hence having the ability to fly in robot mode.

One fateful day, he was tasked with following and apprehending Predacon Megatron who stole the golden disks. The pursuit led them to getting stranded on prehistoric Earth though at the time, neither faction was aware that this was Earth yet because it was so different from the Earth they were informed of in the history books. At first, Primal chose a gorilla as his alt mode which proved to be one of the most useful beast alt modes in the series. As the Beast Wars (though here in Canada, the series was called “Beasties” for some reason) progressed and after several encounters with some mysterious aliens who intended to destroy prehistoric Earth, Optimus Primal unintentionally sacrificed himself to save the planet, Maximals and most of the Predacons. In the aftermath, the planet was changed and everyone could now see that they were on prehistoric Earth and with time, Primal was restored to life by having his spark transferred to an transmetal body. He could still transform into a gorilla though now he could fly even in his beast mode as he now had a hoverboard similar to the Silver Surfer’s.

During the second half of the war, the series became progressively darker and Megatron’s deeds became more sinister if not homicidal as he was now not above killing his own and even going as far as attempting to kill a comatose Optimus Prime in the Ark after he discovered it. Primal also clearly lost a lot of his innocence as he became less optimistic, more tense and while his honour remained intact, his hesitance to fight with full force with gone. In order to save Optimus Prime, he temporarily held his spark into his own body though holding the spark of a Prime had side effects on his own spark and body. Primal underwent a powerful change of which he became a giant quadruple changer, his firepower was at its peak and it can be theorized that a part of Optimus Prime’s divine connection to Vector Sigma was transferred to him.

In this new powerful form and now gaining clarity on the severity of the situation, Primal was more motivated than ever to defeat Megatron and return to Cybertron so history could no longer be tampered with. And while he did succeed at defeating Megatron who also underwent his own upgrade after exposing his own spark to the spark of the Decepticon Megatron, this victory was not without a price. When the Maximals returned to Cybertron, Predacon Megatron managed to take over the planet forming a new faction of mindless drones known as Vehicons which he controlled through a cybernetic psychic link, and in the process, wiped out the memories of the Maximal team and reduced them back to their beast forms’ lowest level.

Luckily, Primal managed to gather his team and find Vector Sigma and the entity/program known as the Oracle which purified them and gave them new upgraded techorganic forms which they all retained for the entire run of the Beast Machines series. At this point, Primal was no longer a naive mech of science and had become very hardened as well as fanatical without how he believed the Oracle was guiding him towards wiping out all technological life on Cybertron which also put him at odds with Cheetour who used to look up to him. After the devastating loss of Rhinox who was reprogrammed into the evil Tankor, Primal fell into a depression which affected him on both a physical and spiritual level, but he was brought to his senses after speaking to the spirit of a now purified Rhinox and with the support of his team. He now also realised the Oracle wasn’t guiding him towards eliminating technology. It was guiding him towards finding a balance between technological and organic life. With this new mindset, Primal stayed on this spiritual path though he now handled it with a cool head and a more enlightened tone until the final face off with Megatron. In the final face off, Primal sacrificed himself by plunging himself and Megatron into Cybertron’s core allowing the entire planet itself to transform for the better into a technorganic state and also reawaken the entire population. While the heroic deed did cost Primal his life, his spark was at peace as it joined the Allspark and it is hinted that he became something even more in this state.

Since his time in the Beast Wars and Beast Machines CGI cartoons, Primal has made some appearances in the comics, several Japanese mangas and animes, and may make a debut in the final season of War for Cybertron.

Out of all of the character in the Transformers lore, I find Primal is the one who had the most growing up to do and he not only did grow up, he stepped out of a large shadow he didn’t even know he was in and became something amazing. He is also one of the few heroes who I initially didn’t like. And even now, I didn’t like the naive, long winded immature person Primal was initially as he did feel like someone who was copying Optimus Prime, but as he grew up and dropped the naivety, my feelings towards him changed (pardon the pun). By the time Beast Machines rolled around, I outright loved him and I loved his newfound spiritual Buddha like approach. He found his own identity and it was inspiring. It was also this version of Primal that convinced me to look at the Transformers as being more than just machines. Showing that they had a religion, a culture and more made me see the Transformers in a new light that stayed with me for life.

I admit he is not like Optimus Prime, but in his defense, you simply cannot compare the two to each other because they are so different and their journeys were different. Prime’s war was more political and social, and he was much older and wiser. Primal was really just a young scientist who was asked to do a job though circumstances dragged him into a battle. With time, that battle became a rebellion. And also, Prime and Primal’s personalities are just vastly different. The very point of each of them is that they are not like each other and that is something to be celebrated not scorned. Optimus Prime was the leader for the team, era and war of his time and Optimus Primal was the leader for the time, era and war of his.

My overall analysis is that I can see why people are not initially endeared by Primal as I myself was one of these fans who wasn’t, but as his life experiences mature him, you fall deeply in love with the person he becomes and I think that was the point of him. I think that the writers purposely made him to rub you the wrong way because he was so immature and I think that makes him a cleverly written character. And also relatable. I’m sure by many people’s standards, we weren’t as likeable when we were immature and had a tendency to talk too much and not listen enough. Perhaps Primal could be seen as a Transformers character who embodies a metaphor for how growing up and gaining wisdom can change a person.

With all that said, Beast Wars and Beast Machine is worth watching thanks to Primal if not for the story, to at least see the journey of Optimus Primal, but that is all my opinion. What is yours?

If you have a Transformers theory or character analysis you want explored, please let me know in my ask box. And please, support me through Patreon or Ko-fi if you want me to make Transformers merch and videos. Or if you want a commission of your favourite bot, let me know in my shop. All links are on my profile page.

Thanks for reading and as always, stay safe.

[mysingularitybts]

Glances a Jung Hoseok One-Shot

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x famous!reader

Genre: romance, 

Warnings: none 

Here I was at another big fancy event. Don't get me wrong it was an amazing opportunity and it showed how far I had come in my career. I was honored to be invited to the Variety Hitmakers Brunch, yet I detested how snotty everyone here was.

All award shows of sorts were always the same thing, people bragging about what they won. It seems they forget the reason we are here is to celebrate the music that has the power to change many people's lives. Even the dirtiest songs have the power to help a person. Music can lift people's moods, give them closure, become their relationship songs, give warmth to a romantic moment. Music is always in our lives one way or another making every moment better. It's why it's so crucial in moviemaking. It sets the mood and without it, everything would be much less anticlimactic and boring.

Back to the point at hand, it's not so much the artists who I frown upon, it's the people behind them. Managers and CEO's, they suck the life out of events treating it like a business (which it is for them). Their greedy eyes looking for the next collaboration, for the next hit. They whisper in your ears making you think it's your idea, but it's not. It's all part of their master plan to make more money, to make you do most of the work. Having barely any regard for your health or wants or needs.

I don't want to say it's like I describe all the time because it's not, but a lot of them are like that. I'm one of the lucky few who got a good team behind them. It was no easy task though I failed many times and people failed me, somehow, I managed to get through it. I had my family and friends to pick me up every time I fell and made a mistake. Eventually, I found my amazing manager Carly and she led me to my amazing record label.

It's been five years since I've been in the music industry officially. It all started when I was 16 and had a dream of becoming a successful singer. How naïve I was thinking it was just going to be me signing to my heart's content. HA! It was eventually, but first I had to learn to produce, to practice singing, and to practice dancing. I had to face failure every time my CEO said she didn't like my new song or theme. Having to start over again to come out with something that satisfied her. After finally coming out with an album I loved with all my heart and it being a success I also had to face a lot of hatred and as a 17-year-old girl, it hits you hard. Other than the hatred I also had to manage my personal life and learn to adapt to a new way of life.

It's all in the past now. I learned how to ignore the hate to my best ability. I learned to focus on the fans that loved my work. To hear them out and become even better. There were a lot of things that happened in between, but I like to think they don't matter anymore as long as I learned my lesson. Although my dream to become a singer was very different from what I imagined, I didn't regret it one bit. It led me to where I was right now receiving an award for artist of the year at the Vanity Hitmakers Brunch.

Walking around with Carly leading the way I saw a lot of my colleagues and friends. Depending on what they were doing whether that was being interviewed or simply talking amongst each other I'd wave hello or stop and talk to them. These award things could be reunions between friends since it was hard at times to meet up with everybody since we were all on tour or filming or in different parts of the globe. It was one of the reasons I still came to these events the other reason being the fans. I owed them my success so if seeing me in an award show made them happy then I would go. I would also fangirl over other artists. Can you blame me? I'm only a human that likes listening to people's music.

As I walked around, I saw Billie Eilish, an amazing artist I collaborated with a few months ago. I liked her since she also saw the truth behind this industry, we had an understanding about it and that made us bond. I could only wave since she was in a conversation with one of the organizers of the awards.

As I kept walking and looking around my eyes landed on seven gorgeous men. My jaw dropped not only because of their beauty but because of who they were. It was none other than BTS. My heart raced; I have been a fan of their music since practically the beginning. How did I not know they were going to be here? I've always wanted to meet them, but we never coincided on any past award shows because for some reason every time they went, I had something else going on. I hated myself for it.

With sweaty palms, I debated on going over to them. I mean they were probably busy talking to somebody else yet nobody was approaching them. They even seem bored. Why was that? They were an amazing band that everybody wanted to collaborate with or be seen with. It just didn't make sense. Maybe it was the language barrier? It could be since not many American artists knew Korean.

With that thought in mind, I hung my head in defeat since I didn't know Korean either. Disappointed I turned around to leave when I almost slapped myself across the face in realization. One of them knows English surely with his help you could get the point across that you were a huge fan and not only that, but this dumb bitch also knows Korean.

How could I forget I know a whole other language is beyond me, but it happened. Thank you Nari for teaching me. Nari is my best friend we have known each other since preschool and are still very close. Her parents moved to the United States from Korea when she was still just a baby.

While I was in school my parents often were not around much so the Seong family took care of me until they got off work. Thus, I learned the Korean language and a bit of its culture. Plus, I gained a whole other family who I love very much.

Shaking my thoughts away I began walking over to them. My hands trembling in excitement, my inner fangirl begging to come out. I kept her locked up though because I did not want to make a fool out of myself. As I got closer, I saw Jimin look my way from his spot on one of the sofas that were around the tents.

When I got to where they were, they all stopped talking between themselves and looked up at me. Eyes wide not knowing what to expect.

With a gulp, I bowed and with a trembling voice said in Korean, "Hello, my name is y/n and I am a huge fan of your work." I crossed my fingers hoping my Korean didn't fail me.

With anxiousness, I waited for their response. Suddenly it vanished as Jungkook smiled up at me, stood up and shook my hand.

"Hello y/n, I'm Jeon Jungkook I'm glad you enjoy our work." He said smiling brightly at me.

I almost fainted seeing as 1/7 of BTS was standing in front of me shaking my hand. I was never going to wash my hand again. Gathering my wits, I kept on smiling as the introductions kept going around.

Once all introductions were done, which I think weren't necessary, they made a space for me to sit with them.

"I got to say I didn't expect anybody here to speak our language," Yoongi said from his seat as he looked at me.

"Oh, I only know because of my best friend. She's also Korean and taught me everything I know," I explained, "If I say anything wrong, blame her," I finished joking.

"No, you are doing very well, your friend did a good job," Hoseok said from his spot beside me.

"I have to say I am also a big fan of your music," he then said abashedly.

"Really?!" I said surprised not expecting them to know much about my music.

"Yeah, he has followed your music for about two years now," Taehyung exclaimed as he shot Hoseok a teasing smile.

"He even has a collection of your albums," Jin blurted out trying to get the point across.

"Yah, stop it you are embarrassing me," Hoseok told them, trying to play it cool and hide his blushing face.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It makes me so happy that you enjoy my music!" I honestly said holding my hands close to my heart.

It was one thing to meet your idols but for them to also know your music is another level. I felt proud of myself since I looked up to them and their work.

We sat in the middle of the tent talking to our heart's content for a while. I was glad I had the guts to talk to them seeing as they no longer looked so serious or bored. I guess they were just a little lonely and wanted some company. Talking to them felt easy. I thought it would be a bit more awkward, but I was proven wrong. They knew how to hold a conversation. We talked about everything from their upcoming music to my music, to the places we've traveled, and about the awards in itself. There was never a boring moment; they made everything entertaining or interesting.

It was when we were laughing loudly about something Jimin said that my manager came to tell me it was time to go find our seats since the ceremony would begin shortly. With a disappointed sigh, I went to stand up and say goodbye to BTS.

"Well, guys I guess this is goodbye," I started saying sadly, "It was great meeting you, I hope I get to see you again."

"I hope so too," Taehyung said enthusiastically, "I had a lot of fun talking to you."

I looked at them as I bid my farewells. When I got to Hoseok he looked as if he wanted to tell me something but couldn't bring himself to.  Yoongi, noticing his reaction, took matters into his own hands.

"Hey y/n, how about we take a picture to remember this day?" he asked, offering a smile.

"Let's do it!" I responded.

They all stood up and got into position. It was Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon, me, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin. I felt as Namjoon wrapped an arm around my shoulders and Hoseok partially wrapped his arm around my waist not quite touching me. Something strange happened to me as I felt very aware of his body heat, touch, and the smell of his cologne.

Once the pictures were taken, I felt disappointed as he stepped away from me. Disregarding those thoughts, I shook my head and bid them goodbye once again. I couldn't believe I had met BTS wait until I told Nari. She is going to freak out and ask me all kinds of questions. I would be able to fangirl with her, but until then I'd have to hold it in.

The awards went, as usual, I cheered on my fellow friends and colleagues, yet I cheered a little louder for my new friends BTS, they truly deserved the award. As someone who has seen them from the beginning, I could say they worked very hard to get to where they are now and had been through some tough times. Not only did they manage to become successful in Korea, but they also paved the way for many Korean artists to get recognized in the United States.

Once the awards ended and all the photoshoots and speeches were done, I found myself walking to the back entrance of the building to get to the SUV waiting for me. My feet were killing me making my back hurt, the makeup on my face felt uncomfortable, and not to mention the dress I was wearing got scratchier the more I had it on.

Deep into my thoughts, I didn't hear a voice calling out to me until Carly nudged her elbow into my side. I looked at her questioningly and she pointed over to the man walking over to me his dimpled smile being a welcoming sight.

"Oh, sorry Namjoon I didn't hear you, what's up?" I spoke as I stopped walking waiting for him to catch up.

"Don't worry, it happens to all of us, I wanted to ask if you were going to the after-party?" he asked as he tilted his head in question. It was a cute sight not going to lie.

"No, I'm not a big fan of after-parties they get too wild," I explained.

"In that case, would you like to meet up with us in a few hours after we get out of here?" he eagerly asked "We are not big fans either of American after-parties. They get awkward for us because of the language barrier," he finished saying.

"I understand," I told him reassuringly, "Count me in."

"We'll stay at our hotel and celebrate there. I'll send you the address," he stated, giving me a smile, his eyes closing at the same time.

"I'll see you there!"

"One more thing!" He exclaimed, "Come in comfortable clothes it'll just be us hanging out, no need for fancy clothing," he then finished explaining seeing my confused face.

"Even better, this dress has been getting more uncomfortable the more I wear it," I said relieved that I wouldn't have to dress up again.

It was fun dressing up, but it got uncomfortable quickly.

"See you later?" Namjoon asked one more time as he started walking away.

"Definitely," I replied as I waved him goodbye.

As soon as I got to my apartment, I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of high waisted leggings and a cropped hoodie. I didn't do much with my makeup, just applied some tinted moisturizer, did my eyebrows, applied some mascara, and some lip balm. Trust me compared to what I was wearing earlier this was nothing. As I got ready Namjoon sent me a text with the address of the hotel and what time I should get there. Luckily the hotel wasn't that far, and I had about an hour to spare. So, I did the only reasonable thing. I took a nap. After my nap, I realized it was time to go.

When I arrived at the hotel, I quickly made my way up to the room Namjoon told me about. As I got closer to the door, I heard a lot of loud voices, yup, I was definitely in the right place.

I knocked on the door and waited for somebody to open it. I didn't have to wait long when Hoseok confusedly opened the door.

"Y/n?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah? Hi Hoseok," I greeted smiling up at him.

"I didn't know you were coming," he confessed, still looking confused.

"Oh, I invited her," Namjoon began saying, "I guess I forgot to tell you, Sorry Hobi."

"Yah Hoseok let her in already," Jin yelled from his place on the sofa.

Hurriedly Hoseok got out of the way and gestured me in. I walked inside and noticed they were all dressed comfortably too in Jeans and their signature Hoodies. As I looked around somebody ran up to me and engulfed me in a hug. When they stepped back, I realized it was Taehyung.

"Hi, Taehyung!" I greeted him.

"Y/n I'm so glad you're here!" he said excitedly, "I was getting bored with these people around." He then said seriously.

I started laughing when I heard a hurt "Hey!" from Jimin.

Unbeknownst to me, Taehyung was sending Hoseok a teasing smile as he glared at him not liking the proximity between us.

"What were you guys up to?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing much we were going to start a live soon," Jungkook answers as he set up a tripod in front of the sofa.

"Oh! In that case let me know so I can scooch over a corner while you talk to army," I told them kindly.

"Nonsense you get to be with us in the live," Jimin said from his place on the dining table the hotel offered.

"Are you sure?" I questioned with uncertainty, "I know you guys don't usually have guests in your lives."

BTS usually didn't do lives with other people. They did them mainly amongst themselves. I didn't know how army would take it if they had somebody else with them, especially a girl. They would certainly have something to say about it.

"We're sure. Don't worry, it'll be fun!" Hoseok said from behind me as he patted my shoulder.

As soon as the setup was done we all gathered around the sofa. Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi sat on the L shaped sofa while Taehyung, Hoseok, and I sat on the floor leaving me in between them.

Surprisingly the live went very smoothly and it was a lot of fun. I didn't see many hate comments just questioning ones as to why I was there. The guys introduced me as their new friend and as we went along the live there were opportunities for me to get to know them a bit better.

While I sat there, I felt as Hoseok's leg pressed against mine, making me feel flustered. Warmth spread through me the more the live went on. At some point he whispered something in my ear in a low voice that made me lose focus on what was happening around me. He was doing things to me I couldn't explain. I wonder if he also felt the same things I did. Towards the end of the live I couldn't focus anymore. The strange thing was that Taehyungs leg was also very close to mine and he even had his arm around me for some time, yet that did not bother me in any way.

When the live ended my thoughts were interrupted by Jimin giving out a yell as he opened a bottle of champagne. Deciding not to think of my bodies reaction to the rapper beside me I shook my head and accepted the glass Namjoon offered me.

I was glad I came to what I now call the BTS afterparty. The guys were amazing and came up with the weirdest games.

Throughout the night I couldn't help but sneak glances at Hoseok. My eyes always wondered to him without my consent and whenever he spoke my attention would instantly be on him. At one point when I turned to look at him, he was already staring at me very intensely. I tried to hold eye contact, his eyes were very dark and alluring causing me to get lost in them, feeling as if I had fallen into a dark abyss. There was so much emotion in his gaze, I got overwhelmed and looked away. I felt as a blush crept up my cheeks and as I looked back up again, he gave me a smirk.

Wasn't Hoseok supposed to be the sunshine of the group? This wasn't sunshine, sure it was fiery but it was also sinful and flirty and dark.

After a while and I decided I had enough to drink so I got up to leave. I wasn't drunk or tipsy but if I kept drinking, I would get there. I bid my farewells promising to see them again soon and left the room. As the doors to the elevator started to close a hand stopped them and a man came in.

Looking up at him I confusedly asked, "Hoseok?"

"Y/n wait," he said rushed.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

It was only the two of us in the elevator and as I recalled all the glances and grins he gave me back in the room, I started growing nervous. I stuck my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie to try and hide their trembling.

He got very close to me, our chests almost touching. He leaned his face down towards mine. I felt his hands graze my cheeks with his breath mixing with mine. He got closer, his lips brushing on mine until he pulled away. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes but as he grew the distance between us, I opened them in confusion, disappointment reflecting in them. I was breathless even though the kiss didn't happen and as I looked at him, he was the same way.

Hoseok still had his hands on my face and I felt as he grazed his thumb on my lips. For some reason, he also had a disappointed look on his face. I wonder why, he could have kissed me if he wanted, plus,  he was the one in control of the whole situation. He could have done anything and I wouldn't have protested.

"Let me take you out on a date first," he said, answering my silent question.

I could only nod but that was not enough for him.

He got closer again but this time it was to whisper in my ear, "I need to hear you say it."

His voice was low and raspy. I couldn't stop the goosebumps from arising on my skin.

"Y-Yes, I'd, um, love to go on a date with you," I felt like a schoolgirl as I stuttered.

I jumped as I felt the elevator ding signaling it had arrived at its destination. Somehow without me noticing he had stepped away taking his warmth with him and leaving me cold.

"I'll see you soon for our date, y/n," he then said cheerfully, his attitude changing completely from before.

"Bye Hoseok," I said perplexed at the sudden change.

I walked away from the elevator but turned to look back. There he was staring at me again as the door closed and just before they did, he sent me a wink as a seductive smile made its way to his lips.

A/N: I don't think I've ever written anything like this. So, if you guys enjoyed it please let me know and make sure to like and reblog to show your support.

Im still shocked at what I wrote. It honestly started as an innocent idea but towards the end something like happened. It's not smutty but like I tried to write a tension between them.

Did you feel it? Did it need more?

Please let me know!

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

[witchymarvelspacecase]

Alternate Endgame

Summary: Fuck Endgame. Reader has precognitive abilities and we’re gonna fix this stupid movie.

Warnings: Cursing, endgame spoilers, maybe some tears?, fluff

WC: 4816

AN: It took me for-fucking-ever, and it is CRAZY long, but here it is.

Forever love to @writingwithadinosaur​ for CONTINUING to put up with my empty promises to write.

You woke with a start; heaving deep breaths that just couldn’t seem to fill your lungs. You were coated in a sheen of cold sweat. It had been months-- no, years since you'd had a premonition that strong, and you were more than a little shaken.

Not thinking you reached over for the man sleeping beside you, but your fingers only met cool sheets. Of course they did. It had been 5 years since Sam had… disappeared, he wouldn’t simply reappear in your bed because you’d had a vision. No matter how much you wanted him to. 

Before Thanos, Sam had been there for you. You’d started as teammates, then friends, then more. Sam was everything. He was sweet, funny, and loyal. The fact that he was gorgeous certainly didn’t hurt either. He’d helped you process your visions. He’d hold you, press kisses to your temple, and let you talk through what happened if you could. If you couldn’t he was more than up to distract you. God you missed him. You missed his touch, you missed his voice, missed the tiny birds he’d draw on your mirror, or mission paperwork, or the small bird figurines he’d hide throughout your room. It hurt even more intensely, waking from a vision after so long, and finding him still gone.

As moments passed, and your breathing became less panicked, your mind began to clear, and details of your vision slowly, but clearly came back. Pain, a lot of pain, and death. There was hope, you thought for a second that you’d heard Sam’s voice… but there was so much risk involved. And the deaths you saw… you couldn’t take anymore death.

FUCK no. You wouldn’t let it happen like that. No way.

Knowing that sleeping again would be impossible, you dragged yourself out of bed, intending to make coffee, but paused at your bedroom door. Turning abruptly, you walked instead to your closet. Reaching onto the top shelf, you pulled down a large zip top bag with a few of Sam’s sweatshirts inside. You pulled one out and quickly re-sealed the bag. Bringing the fabric to your face and inhaling the lingering scent of detergent, cologne, and Sam, had fresh tears springing in your eyes. But it also brought a sense of determination, and confidence. 

Sam was with you. He wasn’t gone permanently, and he believed in you. He loved you.

Pulling the sweatshirt over your PJs, you left your room with a new sense of purpose.

…

The Aether; the reality stone. One of 6 infinity stones that had enabled Thanos’s snap. It had been given to the collector many years ago, and it was your only hope. 

Of course, that was assuming that the rest of your team figured out the whole time travel thing. 

Exhaling, you shook your head in disbelief. Time travel. 

Aliens, gods, titans, and now time travel. 

Before Carol had brought Tony and Nebula back, time travel would have been as ridiculously out of reach as it sounded. But with Tony back? You could see time travel being a distinct possibility, and a quick one.

Tony was refusing to help, which hurt, but you understood. He didn’t want to risk losing his daughter. Given how life seemed to take from Tony, his resistance made sense. Were Morgan your daughter, you wouldn’t risk her either. 

Although, caution didn’t sit well with Tony Stark. You had a feeling he would be unable to keep himself from at least trying to work out time travel now that he had an idea. He would try, and probably tweak his equation until it functioned flawlessly.

Tony would figure it out. And when he did, he would feel obligated to help; he wouldn’t be able to keep the knowledge that the team needed away from them. That meant you needed to learn as much as you could about the Aether before Tony figured out time travel. If it were anyone else, you would have had plenty of time.

Your original plan, to ask Thor, was a non-starter. The god of thunder had been through the fucking ringer. Honestly, you were shocked he was doing as well as he was. As soon as you could, you planned to sit with him awhile. Nothing invasive, but you got the feeling he wanted to talk, but didn’t know where to start.

Dr. Banner was able to fill in some blanks for you, but not enough.

Thankfully, once you were able to contact him, Wong was a veritable treasure trove of information. He was able to walk you through the process of using an infinity stone, being that he was the only one left alive who had done so in the past. Or, almost the only one.

“Rocket,” you called. The small creature had been across the room, talking to Thor, but came over as you waved him to you. “I need your help.” 

“With what?” he seemed genuinely curious, and then a little taken aback when you began to explain.

“I’m not sure you’ve been told what I can do,” you began. When Rocket shook his head, you explained your premonitions.

“And these visions are always accurate?” he asked, his furry little face serious.

“Yes. The visions are accurate, but meant as a warning. So far, when I have interfered, the future has been altered, and whatever I’d seen could be avoided.” Then, you proceeded to tell him about the future you’d seen in your most recent vision. “I can’t- I won’t lose any more of my family, Rocket. This plan I have, I- it will work, but I need your help.” Your expression was beseeching.

The raccoon didn’t ponder long though. “What’d’ya need?”

“I need you to tell me as much as you can remember about when Quill held the infinity stone, and when we have to go and retrieve the fucking things, I need you to help me get a specific one.”

Luckily, Rocket was willing to trust you. Something told you he didn’t trust easily, especially not when what you were telling him couldn’t be proven one way or another, but he’d lost a lot of people too. It seemed he was ready to take a chance.

When it came time to be split into groups to collect the stones, Rocket helped to ensure you were on the team with him and Thor, headed to Asgard.

Next step. Rock climbing practice, a lot of it.

…

“Bruce, I need a favor.” You crossed your fingers, hoping he didn’t ask too many questions regarding your request. 

Though Rocket knew a good portion of your plan, he didn’t know all of it. The fewer people who knew, the better. It wasn’t easy to convince Bruce to give you the extra pym particle. You’d stopped Scott from accidentally using one up, so there was one left, but Bruce was hesitant to give it to you. It wasn’t until your eyes began to water and your voice began to crack that Bruce caved; he couldn’t handle tears. Though you hadn’t planned to cry, it had worked in your favor. 

Actually, the hard part was getting Bruce to keep his mouth shut about you having the extra particle. Bruce had a hard time lying to anyone. You needed everyone as in the dark as possible, especially Clint and Natasha, or your plan wouldn’t work.

…

“See you in a minute,” Natasha said with a smile. You gave a smile back, hoping it didn’t appear strained and took a deep breath before “jumping” to Asgard, ten years in the past.

Thor was thoroughly distracted, with good reason, so it was a good thing you had Rocket on your side.

“I hope you know what you’re doin’,” Rocket grumbled as you took the carefully contained Aether from him.

“You and me both,” you replied quietly. 

“Good luck.”

You gave him a small smile before triggering your suit.

…

You appeared just far enough back that Nat and Clint didn’t hear you, but close enough that you could see them heading up one side of the mountain. They headed up the side that was clearly meant to be climbed, you however, went to the opposite side; a sheer rock face with a drop from an unbelievable height.

You’d received an odd look from Tony when you’d asked for a part of Peter Parker’s Spiderman suit. He’d given the gloves to you without asking the question that was clearly on the tip of his tongue, but you knew there would be many questions later as a result. The gloves’ grip wasn’t nearly as strong as it would have been for Peter, but they would be much better than nothing. Your other tools had been easy to obtain and stuff in a backpack; a combination ice axe and climbing hammer, pitons, carabiners and high strength climbing rope. Hopefully, the practice you’d managed would be enough.

Taking a deep breath you reached up and began your ascent. You needed to get as far up as you could and quickly, so that you could be in place and relatively stable when you needed to use the stone. 

You forced the pitons into the rock face and secured yourself, freeing your hands and arms to use the stone, and more importantly, catch Natasha. The two tasks had to be done simultaneously, or your plan wouldn’t work. 

Vormir’s guardian, and Clint needed to see Natasha fall, and believe she was dead in order to free the soul stone, but Natasha couldn’t die.

It felt like no fucking time had passed between when you finally anchored yourself and you could hear Nat and Clint arguing. 

“Showtime.”

Using the stone, you warped reality around yourself not a moment too soon, as Natasha was suddenly hanging just above you.

“Damn you!” Clint shouted. Natasha had clipped him to an anchor she’d shot into the cliff, saving him, and now she was dangling from his outstretched arm.

“Let me go,” she said, almost calmly. 

You knew in her mind, she was doing the right thing. Knew she was decided, resolved.

“No, please no,” Clint was crying. This would destroy him.

“It’s okay,” Natasha soothed ineffectively.

“Please-” Clint begged, but Natasha kicked off the cliff, forcing Clint to lose his grip.

For a moment, it felt like everything froze, then you blinked and reality seemed to split in front of you. You could see what you’d created for Clint and the guardian to see, but you could also see Natasha hanging safely from the second piton you’d secured just to the side of you. 

“What the-” she broke off, seeing the distorted reality of herself falling to her death. When you reached over and touched her shoulder, her head whipped around, suddenly able to see you and the reality stone.

“What the fuck-” You silenced her with a finger to your lips. You weren’t sure whether or not you could be heard by Clint or the guardian. Waiting just a few seconds until you saw Clint disappear, you released the control you had on the stone and gestured for Natasha to trigger her suit to return home.

She looked like she really wanted to argue, but she did as you asked.

Clint’s knees hit the floor and he almost dropped the soul stone when he turned and saw Natasha standing beside him. Tears were flowing down his face and all sorts of nasty curses in a multitude of languages flew from his lips. 

“Don’t you ever fucking do something like that again! Do you hear me, Tasha?! Fuck! You can’t give your life for mine. What the fuck were you- how did you-” Clint cut off and pulled Nat into a tight hug.

“I can’t promise never to do something like that again, Clint. I don’t know what happened. I thought-”. Natasha cut off too, tears in her eyes. She had been resolved to die to save Clint and the others, but she was glad she hadn’t had to.

“What exactly happened?” Bruce asked, looking from Nat and Clint to you. 

“What?” Clint asked, looking from Nat to you.

“Ask them. I sure as fuck didn’t know what was happening,” Natasha said on a long exhale.

You noticed Rocket and Tony were also looking your way. When Nat pulled far enough away from Clint to face you, they both looked at you too.

All eyes on you. Great.

“Well, I had a vision…”

You explained part of your vision. To be fair, you would have explained the whole thing, you wanted to, but there was a niggling feeling at the back of your mind telling you that you weren’t done. You couldn’t tell everyone. It sucked, but your friends-- your family would understand. When it all worked out, you would tell them, but not yet.

…

The final tweaks were made to the new gauntlet. You watched as Tony, Rocket, and Bruce hovered around the thing, clearly unsure if it was ready.

But you were only barely watching. As Tony’s attention was drawn away, you drew over to his latest Iron Man suit. You’d talked with Rocket, and had some idea the power the stones would put out, with that in mind…

“FRIDAY, could I bother you for a moment?” you asked politely.

“Of course. What can I do for you?”

…

Not a fucking moment after Bruce snapped his fingers and the compound was totaled. Most of the structure was underground, along with several of the team.

Shit. 

The worst part of having premonitions was that you couldn’t see everything. The visions  would scare the shit out of you, and give you just enough information to run on, but never the whole picture. Thus, you found yourself running with Clint and Natasha through an underground maze of destruction trying to avoid the fucked up alien hoard that was chasing you. 

ANY of that information would have been nice to know ahead of time.

It also would have been nice to know that a past version of Nebula was somehow in the present. 

Fortunately that problem was “solved” when present nebula showed up and shot her past self… God you couldn’t wrap your head around all this shit. 

A fight was underway as you cleared the tunnels, and it did not look good for your side. Although you noticed with a little shock, that Steve was holding Mjolnir. Or he was until Thanos knocked it from his hand, and cracked his shield. 

All you could see then was Steve, barely standing, alone, facing an army increasing in size. Your heart was racing. You knew Steve wouldn’t give in. You hadn’t seen him die, but that didn’t mean his life wasn’t at risk. Fuck! What were you going to do?!

Then a voice you hadn’t heard in years crackled over the comms, “Hey, Cap, you read me? Cap, it's Sam. Can you hear me?” and a glowing yellow portal appeared next to Steve. “On your left.”

Seeing Sam, in his Falcon suit, fly through the portal, you almost hit the ground.

“Sam,” you whispered, tears in your eyes, but a growing smile on your face.

“Hey babe, miss me?” You could hear the smirk on his face, and though it would have bothered you before, it made you laugh now. 

Your team had a chance. Hundreds of portals opened and thousands of people poured from them. You could vaguely hear chanting from the Wakandans, and see glowing shields being formed by the masters of the mystic arts. New hope and resolve formed in your chest.

“Every fucking day, Sam. Now let's end this so I can yell at you for disappearing on me.” He laughed, and you both ran into the hoards of Thanos’ followers.

…

Unfortunately, though the reinforcements were amazing, and desperately needed, Thanos and his army weren’t backing down.

Carol powered through ships, and struggled with Thanos, but she couldn't overpower him. When you saw her fall, and Tony began approaching the giant murder grape, you recognized your time to act.

“Carol,” you called as she rose, shaking debris from her hair. When she met your eyes, you waved her over. During the fight, you’d managed to speak to Thor, Dr. Strange and Wanda. They all knew you had a plan, though Strange seemed dubious, and they had all agreed to help. The fact that you’d managed to corral them all was a fucking miracle in and of itself, but what you were about to do, was still gonna be difficult.

Your group managed to stay out of Tony’s field of vision. What he was about to attempt, had to happen. What you needed was to reach him in time to alter the aftereffects. 

“I am– inevitable,” Thanos announces, snapping his fingers, which would have been gut wrenching, had the mad titan actually had the infinity stones in his gauntlet.

However, unbeknownst to him, Tony Stark had swiped them right out of his hands. Tony Stark, who was now pulsing with immense amounts of gamma radiation and pure power from the ancient relics.

“And I– am– Iron Man.” Tony snapped his fingers. That was your cue. You, and the most powerful teammates you had, reached out, and took Tony’s left hand. Power and pain radiated through your body. And that was all you remembered.

…

The rocky ground beneath you was not comfortable, but you were barely aware of the sharp stones digging into your back since your whole body felt like you’d been in a car accident.

“Fucking ow,” you groaned.

“Well what did you expect? Trying to divert that level of radiation; you’re lucky your crazy stunt didn’t kill you!” Dr. Strange was in full lecture mode it seemed. You could hear Thor and Carol talking just behind you, and when you cracked your eyes open, you caught a glimpse of Wanda’s magic trailing behind her. Your eyelids felt like there were hundred pound weights on them. Why couldn’t you keep them open? 

Wait! 

It took a full second and a half for your brain to re-engage; quickly recapping the past few days. You bolted into an upright sitting position, all but shrieking in pain as your gritty eyes frantically searched for one figure amidst hundreds.

“Hey kid, you gonna explain all this to me now? I don’t like being in the dark.” You looked directly behind you and burst into tears. Tony was looking at you with a slightly exasperated look on his face, belayed by the small smile on his lips.

“It worked,” you sobbed.

“I don’t know what all has been going on in this place, but I know you’re not supposed to be upset that we won,” came Sam’s voice. He walked up behind Tony, clapping him on the back as he stepped past him to crouch down beside you. “Hey, Gorgeous. I missed you.”

A wet laugh exploded from your chest, “I fucking missed you too, Sammy.” Your eyes overflowed and your smile wobbled as he rested his forehead on yours. 

“It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I love you,” he soothed, cupping the side of your face and rubbing across your cheekbone with his thumb. He was home. Sobs shook you, and you knew it would be a while before you were able to stand. Or it would have been if Sam hadn’t picked you up and insisted on carrying you.

He didn’t let you out of his sight for several days.

…

It was actually weeks later, after some of the rubble had been cleared from where the compound once stood, before you finally explained what had happened. 

Not everyone was able to cram into Tony’s living room, so some people; Dr. Strange, and King T’challa and his people were there via remote communication. Rocket had even rigged up some sort of communications device into the Guardian’s ship so they could hear too.

“I had a vision,” you started. You were sitting in Sam’s lap, across from most of your family. Natasha sat in an armchair, with Clint perched on the arm. They’d both gone home to see his family almost immediately after the fight, but they both insisted on hearing what had happened.

Scott and Hope shared a couch. Bruce stood just behind it. 

Steve and Bucky were standing next to each other just to the side of you and Sam. They weren’t standing beside you, they wanted an explanation just as much as the others, but the two men were close with Sam, so it seemed they wanted to show that they supported you, as his girlfriend.

Tony was in an armchair across from Natasha and Clint. Thor stood behind his chair, and Wanda sat on the floor between the couch and Tony’s armchair. Even Carol was there, she sat backwards on a kitchen chair that she’d dragged into the room.

“We figured as much,” Tony replied. He smiled as his daughter ran into the room and all but threw herself onto Tony’s lap. He picked her up and situated her comfortably before continuing. “What exactly did your vision show.”

“For the most part, I saw just what happened. I saw you figure out the time travel thing. I saw us split into teams to get the stones. That's where I intervened,” you paused. Sam gave your hip a gentle, supportive squeeze. You hadn’t told him what you’d seen yet, but he knew you. Knew you were trying to say something that had gone horribly wrong. 

“I asked Bruce for the extra Pym charge, and I asked Rocket for some information, and to help me get on the team that went to Asgard.”

You saw Thor straighten then. He’d begun to take care of himself again, though you knew he was still overwhelmingly sad and lonely, he seemed to be working his way out of the deep rut he’d been in. “I don’t recall actually getting the stone. I was too distracted by my- my mother. Rocket did not show me the stone either. I just assumed he had it.” Thor looked at you, an unidentifiable emotion on his face. “Why did you need to be on our team?”

“I needed the reality stone. Wong and Rocket helped me get an idea of how to use it. And then I needed the extra Pym charge to take me to Vormir.”

Natasha’s brow furrowed. “I was supposed to die, wasn’t I?” she asked calmly. Clint stiffened beside her.

“No, you died in my vision. You weren’t supposed to die. That’s why I fixed it,” you gave her a look that brooked no argument, and she smiled in return.

“I used the stone to make it look like Natasha had died. Clint and Vormir’s guardian had to believe that it had happened. The only way to get the stone was-” 

“To lose what you loved,” Clint finished for you. You nodded. “I had to believe it or it wouldn’t have worked.” You nodded again, though he hadn’t phrased it as a question.

“I’m really sorry you had to see that, Clint, but it was the only way I could think to make it work.” You really were sorry. You knew Clint sometimes woke from horrible nightmares, occasionally about his family disappearing again, but also about seeing Nat fall.

He shook his head, and you let the subject lie.

“No wonder you were so fucked up when we all got back,” Steve said quietly to Clint. Then he turned to you. “That’s not it, is it?”

“No.” You looked to Tony.

“The suit wouldn’t have held that much power,” Tony concluded. “I didn’t think it would, but I didn’t have the time to strengthen it. I just didn’t know-”

“I know,” you said. “I had FRIDAY make some tweaks when you weren’t looking.” If it was possible to look proud and affronted at the same time, that’s how you would have described Tony’s expression. “Then, using the info I’d gotten from Rocket, I figured out how to displace the power, instead of letting it hit you alone.” You nodded at Carol, Thor, and Wanda. “I pulled the strongest people I knew, and lined us all up behind you before grabbing your shoulder just as you used the stones. The power was distributed to all of us, and we were able to hold, and diffuse it with no ill effects. I don't think it’s something anyone could have thought to do in the moment, it only happened because I had that vision.” You looked at Nat and Tony again. “After all we’ve been through, I couldn’t live in a world without you guys. Any of you,” you added, looking at everyone.

Tony had his arm wrapped tight around Morgan. And you heard a muffled sob from just behind you, turning a little, you saw Pepper. You winced, you hadn’t intended her to hear this. She saw your expression and shook her head. “Thank you,” she mouthed before walking to Tony’s side. She gave him a kiss and held his free hand in a death grip.

Clint had a grip on Nat’s hand too. White lines formed at the corners of Thor’s mouth, and Wanda looked like she was having trouble processing all the emotions in the room, but her eyes focused on you. 

“Why didn’t you tell us all this?” Bruce asked; he’d been quiet the whole time, though he’d known you had something going on earlier than most.

“I was afraid that if I said something, it would change something. I had no clue what was safe and what wasn’t and I knew-” you cut off, shifting to grip Sam’s hand, clearing your throat. “I knew if everything happened as it should, the dusted people would come back. I couldn’t risk that getting fucked up, just like I couldn’t let what I saw happen to Tony and Nat.” You squeezed Sam’s hand. “I’m sorry I kept this from you all, but I really couldn't risk it.” You closed your eyes, tilting your face to look at the floor.

You heard someone approaching, and felt Sam shift, but you didn’t open your eyes until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Natasha stood in front of you. As you looked up at her, you heard another set of footsteps approach. Tony appeared behind her. Steadily, your whole family came close. Natasha pulled you up, and into a tight hug. You felt Sam rise from behind you, he kept a hand on your hip. Tony put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing. Steve gripped your other shoulder. Bruce had a hand on one of your arms, which were around Natasha, and Clint gripped your hand. Looking around the room at the others, you saw pain, and gratitude in every face. 

“Don’t keep shit like that to yourself again, you hear me?” Natasha grumbled, tears in her voice keeping her tone from being very threatening.

You let out a choked laugh. “I’ll do my best.”

“Clearly your best is damn good. I’ll take that any day,” Tony said. Tears were in his eyes, and there were tracks of them on his cheeks. “You did a good job, kid.”

“We’re proud of you.” Steve gave you a smile. Clint met your gaze and though his eyes were still warry, he gave you a smile, squeezing your hand.

Sam’s hand ran up and down your lower back as Natasha and the others stepped back. “You’re amazing, baby. You did good, just like always.” He wrapped his arm around you from behind and pressed a kiss to your temple. 

Everyone settled back into their seats before Steve spoke again. “Is that all you changed? Nothing else we need to know.”

You laughed a little, drawing everyone's gazes again. “Well I did change one more thing, it wasn’t big though.”

“What was it?” Steve asked. 

“I kept Scott from accidentally using a Pym Particle when he was talking about how they worked. That was the only way I could have one to use.”

Hope rolled her eyes, “seriously, Scott?” Clearly she was well aware of Scott’s inability to be smooth.

Scott’s face was beet red, but laughter filled the room. It seemed that the group would be able to move on from the news after all.

“I wasn’t gonna use it!” Scott insisted.

“If you had to be stopped, then yes, you were going to use it,” Hope argued, rolling her eyes. “You’re hopeless.”

The room filled with laughter and you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. Leaning back into Sam, you let a long sigh escape you. It was over. The world was readjusting to having its missing members back, and after 5 years, you knew it would take a while, but, looking around the room, you had hope for the future.

You had your family after all. Your family, and your Sam. Everything was as it should be.

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[toomuchponytail]

Caretaker/reluctant caretaker having to force feed a whumpee pain or sleeping meds bc they're panicking too hard to listen to reason and/or keep refusing to take meds out of fear that its poison

Anon! Thank you for submitting this! I really like this one, (I actually think I’m going to do forced sleeping pills soonish in addition to this one because I liked it so much--you could say it is my jam this week, lol) I hope this is sort of what you were hoping for? 

Thank you for being awesome! 

I hope your day is hot sand and cool water, the duality of beach days, both the sand and the sandwich, hopefully not as one entity. 

I wish you the strength to get through the bad knowing that the good is on the way, waiting in the wings, and that your feet don’t burn with all the steps you’ve taken on this weary earth. 

But if they do I wish you lake water, deep and dark and refreshing. 

Take both care and smooth stones from all the beaches life gives you. 

Enjoy! :D 

Hero pulled into base as the sun crested over the city with all the enthusiasm of a convict returning to prison. 

He sat in the car as the engine cooled, scrubbing a trembling hand over his face, his eyes felt like they were full of sand, the muscles in his arms and shoulders burned fiercely when he shifted to open the door, he walked up the path to the door on legs that felt like rubber. 

As he fumbled briefly with his keys he began to fantasize about falling into bed and just sleeping for ten--maybe even twenty four hours, it would beat the hell out of what he was doing ever since super villain had resurfaced, catching sleep half hours at a time during the day, or while off watch at base. 

He’d actually managed to do something last night, catch a few of super villain's guys robbing the Gadinia st. bank, when he’d questioned them after stopping them one of them had actually given him a lead as to where super Villain’s base was. 

It was a win--one he’d follow up on after he’d gotten some sleep, he wasn’t much good to anyone like this, let alone the whole city. 

He set his keys on the counter, pouring himself a tall glass of water to try and cut the dust he felt in his throat. 

It was oddly peaceful in base today, the main room was actually completely empty in fact….Where was everyone else?! 

Hero jumped into high alert, glad he hadn’t taken off his cuffs when he’d entered like he normally did, he began to methodically sweep the building, room by room, clearing it in the unnatural silence. 

His mind, though sharpened by adrenaline was still in a buzz of exhaustion, it felt like his thoughts were traveling to him through a mesh sieve. 

Had his team told him that they were going to be somewhere else? He couldn’t remember that, but he wasn’t 100% sure either. As he cleared the last room he heard the door burst open, followed by the voices of his team, all of them talking at once in a wall of frantic sound that made him more nervous than he had been in the silence. 

He rushed to the mainroom hearing the sounds of desperate struggling, was one of them injured? What was going on?! 

“Where were you!?” One of the other heroes called to him accusingly when he rounded the corner, the other hero was helping leader, their sidekick, and two other heroes contain the heavily struggling antagonist who was bleeding badly from a wound somewhere in his side. 

The antagonist was panicking, trying to push the other off of him, there was an odd wild disconnected look in his eyes, they looked scared and lost, like a hunted animal. 

“I didn’t--My phone got smashed, what happened?” Hero stuttered, blinking as his team fought the antagonist into the room and laid him on the couch,  as soon as they tried to let go of him he tried to bolt, struggling to escape as if his life depended on it, only to collapse to the floor, not strong enough to get anywhere. 

Hero hadn’t seen the antagonist in more than a month, they’d been so preoccupied by super Villain that they hadn’t even checked up on their regular nemesis’s whereabouts. They could see that the last few weeks hadn’t been kind, they were much thinner than they had been the last time they’d seen them, their eyes were wild and shone with raw panic, they were mumbling half spoken pleas in a broken painful croak of a voice but they sounded resigned, like the mercy that they were begging for they didn’t expect. 

“Stop! No more, no more! Please!” They groaned, turning away as best they could. 

The other hero made eye contact with hero over the weakly struggling antagonist, “We don’t know,” they said grimly, “We found them collapsed in a dumpster, an informant called it in.” 

“Can you bring in some bandages hero?” Leader asked, they were trying to put pressure on the antagonist's wound, they pulled up the antagonist's shirt, trying to get a better look at what they were working with--what they saw made them gasp, all the sound in the room died, hands loosened their hold on the antagonist enough for them to pull away and curl in on themselves, pulling as far away from the heroes as they could with a choked groan. 

The antagonist’s torso and back were ripped to shreds, covered in raised angry welts and ragged edges of flesh that wept blood. 

They’d been whipped, burned, beaten, hero wasn’t sure what was worse, they swallowed hard to keep from being sick, leader had gone pale, they looked down at the blood on their hands, the antagonist writhed with agony behind them, seemingly in too much pain to stop moving. 

Other hero had stepped back when the wounds were revealed, “Who’d do something like that?” They whispered in horror, watching as the antagonist’s movements grew weaker, the shuddering more pronounced. 

“Super Villain would, if they wanted something from them,” Hero stated through clenched teeth, “We’ve got to do something!” 

“First we do this,” leader snapped, steeling themselves to the task at hand “Bandages, please.” 

Hero went to the medical cabinet, retrieved rolls of bandages, a bowl some warm water, a cloth, and a small bottle of strong pain relievers.

When Hero got back into the room leader had positioned other hero, their partner, and the others to what were hopefully less painful holds for the antagonist. They’d gotten their better holds on him, in his weakened state is wasn’t difficult to restrain him anyway. 

“Look around antagonist, it’s us, hero’s over there, you’re safe,” other hero tried to reassure, but the antagonist didn’t seem to hear them, they were still trying to pull away, babbling weakly in supplication. 

Other hero winced as they tried to hold the antagonist gently, they didn’t like thinking that in their struggle to control them they’d hurt them even more than they were hurt already. 

Hero handed the supplies to leader, who took them grimly, hero sat by the antagonist’s head, keeping them from whipping it from side to side like they had been, they smoothed the antagonist’s sweaty hair away from their face.

“N-no,” the antagonist groaned, when they felt leader gently grasp the bottom of their shirt, when the leader started to remove their shirt, unsticking it from their wounds the antagonist screamed, ragged and broken, hero winced, feeling a pang of guilt, he couldn’t help but feel responsible for this. He took two of the pills from the bottle and placed them in his palm, “Antagonist? Can you hear me? Hey, you in there?” he tried to keep his voice from shaking. 

“No, no please,” the antagonist choked out, “I don’t--can’t! Please! No more!” 

“We’re helping you okay? Can you take these for me?” Hero held the drugs up for the antagonist to hopefully see, but the antagonist didn’t seem to understand them. 

“Please,” they begged,“I can’t take it anymore.” 

Hero set his mouth grimly, taking the antagonist’s jaw in his hand he opened it gently, forcing the pills inside the antagonist's mouth despite the antagonist’s weak thrashing. Hero hoped that the antagonist wouldn’t choke, but they needed them to swallow those pills, they were delirious in their current state, too out of it to know that the heroes were helping them. 

The antagonist tired to spit out the medication, but hero clamped their hand over their mouth, they struggled violently for a moment, perhaps thinking they were being drugged by the people that hurt them, but they couldn’t keep it up for more than a few tense seconds, they didn’t have anything left. 

The antagonist swallowed the pills, sagging into themselves in both defeat and bone-deep exhaustion, when the leader started to gently wash their collection of wounds the intensity of the pain only helped to send them into unconsciousness. 

The antagonist passed out hurting and held down in a strange place by foreign hands that he didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. 

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy - chapter 253 - the chaos continues!

I’m taking a chance to look at chapter 253 on its own again - what is this?  Early 2019?  So much happens in this chapter as Abashiri 2.0 unfolds as a giant cluster with a lot of similar characters interacting.

Team Hijikata, sans Kadokura, Kirawus and Ushiyama regroup outside the brewery.

Ariko is ironically with Toni as he picks up the rear.  They confirm that our convict has fled inside.  So this group will be somewhat effective as they aren’t a divided group.  Hijikata was also able to confirm that our convict is a foreigner as they had suspected.  Toni is able to use his awesome ears to let everyone know that he heard a military rifle.  This means that the 7th is on the other side of the building.  And boom the final panel shows why Hijikata is an effective leader.

He makes it clear they capture Jack, and retreat.  NOT engage with the 7th.  Wow.  Smart, this is what a good leader does, he makes the right call.

The action turns to Ogata in the fire watchtower.  He leans below the widow where Vasily fired so he’s not visible.  This then reveals that Ogata’s type 38 is inoperable.  And begin the replay of Ogata’s sniper battle with Vasily but even worse than before.  Instead of the single shot rifle, he’s got no rifle.  But he’s in luck!  Usami is also terrible with rifle care and love!  In his need to chase down Kadokura with his bayonet, he left his type 38 on the ground.

Ogata has an interesting monologue here were he’s asking if the rifle is where it was dropped and states if he hadn’t jumped back he’d have been shot.  I am working with the english translation here and life has been far to busy to seek out the original text.  Either he’s having a conversation with himself, or he’s talking to ‘Yuusaku’.  Why could this be the case?  The next page.

Ogata looks up at the spot where he was with a “. . . . .” speech bubble and then asks “Did you save me?”  Is it Yuusaku?  Is it his guilty conscience?  Could it even be Vasily?

But he continues to state that there is no way that is possible and that you are not that soft-hearted right?  Again, it could be Yuusaku since we know he was trying to be a good little brother.  But, it could be applied to Vasily since Ogata thought he knew exactly what type of sniper he is.  Being the next level strategic sniper that he is, Ogata begins to kick a hole in the side of the wall to escape out of sight since the ladder is currently being targeted by Vasily since he thinks that is the only way out.

And this makes my heart go pitter-patter for Ogata since he’s going to outwit Vasily.

The last panel has dialogue makes me think it is a bizarre mix of Yuusaku, Vasily and Ogata’s own conscience.  Something is trying to get Ogata to think about feelings and he’s not happy with it.  It be him annoyed Yuusaku is ‘haunting’ him.  It could be the fact that Ogata is pissed that Vasily won’t let him just do his mysterious goal(s).  Or he’s just upset he’s feeling things and emotions.

The action turns back to our puddle of drunken boys.  Nikaido wants to kill Sugimoto, Tsukishima tries to hold him back and he rushes off (or tries to) because he has to stop Jack!

It is a giant fail all around, Nikaido’s firearm leg backfires on himself, and we get an epic Koifail,  Koito tries to hit Sugimoto with a bottle, falls over drunk and doinks Tsukishima instead.

Poor Tsukishima, that’s gonna leave a mark and Koito returns to lying there making his high pitched cry of something.  He really can’t handle his alcohol.  As team Tsukishima is down and out for the count, Sugimoto is able to stumble upon his type 30.

He even takes the time to suck the beer out of the rifle, after he damaged it the last time it got wet in the swamp back in chapter 114.  This mean the shame he felt when Ogata berated him had a lasting effect on Sugimoto.  Maybe, try to take care of his rifle (sometimes).

Though Noda makes it clear the it must be thoroughly dried . . .

So Ogata still wins this ‘debate’ Sugimoto.

Back in the current chapter, Sugimoto then realises that he lost Asirpa which is a bad thing. . .  I guess no one heard Kikuta yell that he caught her either. . .

The action returns to Asirpa still aiming at Kikuta, who the cool, collected and sexy man that he is, is still trying to reason with her.  She points out that two of his statements have to be lies; that as someone who investigated the scene he knows more about the bodies and that they were there first is also a lie.

Kikuta smartly pauses for a moment before asking if she’s seen an Ainu gold coin.  Her shocked face is enough to allow him to continue talking.

Kikuta has confirmed that through some mean she’s seen one of the coins and that Kikuta can press forward.  He begins to reason that since the 27th collected a few of the coins, they’d have to be the first people on the scene since they’d be stolen.  His plan is to win her over with as much logic as possible.

Kikuta said that the existence of the coins was enough for Tsurumi to tell his men that it confirmed the existence of the gold.  This is a suspicious statement to me.  Kikutata is saying that this is what Tsurumi said.  How do we know that Tsurumi used this as a reason to get the men behind him?  It could have been a lie made up by Tsurumi who just said the gold coin is proof.  Unless someone else besides Tsurumi came up with this makes me want to not quite trust this.

Anyhoo, that is me just being suspicious of anything through the Tsurumi filter.

The conversation continues on with Kikuta wanting to link the coins to Wilk.  He explains that the tattoos are similar to the coins and knowing that Asirpa has seen the tattoos and the coin, he’s wanting her to think of her father’s involvement.  To sweeten the temptation, he says that Tsurumi knows more things and they can tell her the truth as to whether or not Wilk killed the other Ainu.  There is a moment of tension as she sweats while holding her bow drawn.  But the issue is resolved when she gets a full page to reply.

Asirpa shows that she is a big picture thinker.  She’s been worried since the start of the manga about if her father killed the other men even though she’s had enough evidence that he likely didn’t kill them.

Instead, she realizes that the future of the Ainu is more important and she has accepted that he entrusted this task to her.  Which is also confirmed by Sugimoto’s conversation with Wilk and by Kiro’s actions and Ogata’s words on the ice floe.

Her stance really puts her in the same area as where Kiro was and that by going to Karafuto she learned that she must become active in her role in everything.  Good or bad or indifferent, Asirpa has made it clear that she’s got more in common with the partisans than with most of the Japanese men she’s been traveling with.  I think on some level, Sugimoto realizes that, but denies it since he can’t accept the fact that Asirpa has many different challenges that he simply lacks.

This then makes sense why Kikuta tries so hard to get her to give up and abandon the gold.  Everyone around her will be killed!  I’m guessing Kikuta isn’t a fan of unnecessary death and destruction, but her reply is more interesting.

She’s upset that he’s stating this after she’s already witnessed death because of the whole ordeal.  Her own father’s death, all the people at Abashiri, Kiro.  Asirpa has committed to things and she’s already seen so many people die as a result of this.  And she’s right, Kikuta’s plea is far to late.

We then get a flashback to Asirpa and Sugimoto alone as to when they first teamed up in the beginning.  Is she having a nostalgic moment of when things were less complicated?  That she’d like to go back to things before the quest for the gold.  If she hadn’t met Sugimoto would she have missed out on the gold hunt or been older and able to handle it better?

Of course the tension of the moment needs to increase!  Usami emerges from the shadows.  Honestly, it is hard to tell if he wouldn’t just hurt her, but if he wants maximum Tsurumi love, he’s going to cut the bowstring.

And surprisingly, Kadokura tackles him and tells her to flee since everyone would be in trouble if she went with Tsurumi.

Asirpa escapes even as Kikuta tells her not to.  Usami then tries to pin down Kadokura, but his roll to escape trips up Kikuta.  I’m becoming suspicious of you Kadokura . . . are are more aware of things than you seem to be . . .of course Asirpa runs back into the building and we know that Jack is in the building. .

Kikuta tries to pursue her, but she fires an arrow at the ground near his feet and he hesitates outside calling her shrewd.  I think he’s disappointed he couldn’t win her over with words.  Though Ogata shouldn’t feel as bad, even someone like Kikuta couldn’t win her over to his side.

And poor Kadokura!  He’s being chased by Usami again and Usami’s obsession with him is just bizarre . . .

Why does Usami have such a fixation on him?  Kadokura also is hiding something and again, he’s more competent than he looks . . .

The action then returns to our sniper battle.

A figure wearing a cloak is visible around the brewery.  A hand is shown reaching for the type 38.  Shockingly, the man is shot in the head!

Vasily has scored another kill! 

Of course, as soon as I saw this, I was like, “Oh that poor decoy.”  Since I know Ogata isn’t going to run out into the open to grab his new baby.

We then see the body collapse; a man missing teeth with a few coins falling from his body.  And I just thought, nice nice.  Ogata paid off some [likely] drunk or desperate man to wear his cloak and reach for the rifle.  Realizing that Vasily will have to discharge the used shell casing, he sprints out.

In an example of speed and dexterity, he scoops up the rifle and leaps through the window that Ushiyama already broke open.  We see the next shot from Vasily hit the brick below the window.

Ogata begins to get cocky and snarky, by stating that you [Vasily] keeps missing his shots.  He notes that chances like he’s had don’t happen often and we just get upset sounds from Vasily.

Face it, in this replay of our sniper battle, Ogata has owned Vasily!  He’s several steps ahead and Vasily was lazy to think Ogata would use himself as the target again. 

This also means that Ogata knew where Ushiyama went through the window or found the open window well in advance.  He’d then have to time sending the poor decoy out so that he could rush in, grab the rifle and then leap through the window.  This isn’t a fair fight between the men; in the context that Ogata will out maneuver him.  Based on his cheeky attitude, Ogata knows it is Vasily and I’m even more certain that Ogata questioned him and knew there is a good chance he didn’t die due to his injuries.

Tsurumi is correct all the way back during the showdown in Barato.  We know the whole link to his father is one of Tsurumi’s lies slowly shown by Ogata’s involvement in Hanazawa’s death.  What still holds true is less about his parentage and more that 1.) Tsurumi knows that Ogata is ambitious - even though he doesn’t show it. 2.) Tsurumi doesn’t know his goal or objective - which we still don’t know.

Lastly, and most importantly, Ogata is an exceptional soldier and he’s not someone you want as an opponent.  Vasily, is an excellent sniper, but he lacks the other skills that Ogata possesses.

Since there is so much going on the action returns to the quest to corner Jack.  Toni is able to follow Jack and Ariko is able to read the blood trail. Kantarou proudly states that their group will prevent his escape.  He might be right.  They have the best team.  Not drunk or emotional and cohesive.

Of course it has to end on a cliffhanger with Jack spotting Asirpa.

This chapter continues the chaos that is this entire fiasco!  So much is happening.

Team Sugimoto-Asirpa-Shiraishi is completely broken!  They got separated and currently lack any cohesion.  This is resulting in Asirpa being constantly targeted and singled out - you know that thing that Sugimoto keeps telling her not to do.  Shiraishi was ignored and we have no idea what he’s doing.

Koito, Tsukishima and Nikaido are down and out for the count.  Perhaps, their beer mishap will help them detect issues from Tsurumi, hiding some of their reluctance to serve him blindly.  Plus, Nikaido is far to unpredictable of a factor - why did they bring him and what to they hope to achieve.  Kikuta’s distrust of Koito and Tsukishima is obvious, he grabbed Asirpa and left them behind and he’s been trying to not work with Usami as well.  Kikuta is almost showing his hand by not showing his hand. . . .

I hate to admit it, but team Hijikata is doing alright.  But Hijikata is a leader.

Boutarou is MIA.  We know he ran off some where or is doing something.  Is he hiding?  Does he have a hidden alliance with some of the group?  Kirawus?  Or is his loyalty to Shiraishi, one of the new cast members he seems to trust and like.  He also questions Shiraishi’s motives so he’s not playing dumb either.

And Ogata - Ogata is having likely an existential crisis about ‘emotions’ while in the middle of a sniper battle with Vasily.  As I continue to chew on his dialogue, I really think he has more than one listener for his one sided conversation.  Vasily is linked to Yuusaku.  It was the fact that Ogata did not kill Vasily and then he had his fever dream where Asirpa became Yuusaku.  Since then Asirpa, Yuusaku and Vasily have been linked to Ogata.

I’m beginning to wonder if the reason why Ogata all of this started when Ogata began to think about the possibility of guilt.  His fever is linked to something bad taking hold of him. . .

But what if this is the fact that Ogata is now recognizing his guilt and humanity through Yuusaku’s death?  He ended up in a situation where this finally bubbled to the surface.  Was the fever really a bad thing or did Ogata realize something during his fever dreams making a breakthrough.  Of course being the total suck at dealing with emotions, he’s just kept fighting them since, but Ogata can’t deny that something changed him after that event.

Well that’s all I have for now.  My brain is a bit of a mush from over 4 hours of Zoom meetings today.

It is clear chapter 254 will be as chaotic and high energy as the last few.

[wheresmynaya]

Lopez’s 8 Ch.4 | Brittana

Thank you all for the luv last chapter and for those who stopped by here for a chat too! Still getting used to writing for such a big 'cast' so hopefully that's translating alright. 

Also available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & below the cut! 

With everyone moved into the loft and somewhat acquainted with one another, Santana feels like she can breathe a little easier. Keyword: a little. The team is aware of what they need to do and set off on their tasks, even Quinn’s orders are already starting to arrive at the loft. You think you’re addicted to online shopping? Well, you’ve never met someone like Quinn Fabray.

“What is all this?” Santana asks as she comes round. She’s eyeing all the empty packaging and bubble wrap then steps out of the way just in time as a hulking man rolls a large box through her path. She knew she should’ve given Quinn some ground rules when she told her to make sure they had the necessary equipment needed.

Who the hell knows what she considers necessary.

“Don’t worry, you’ll like them,” Quinn chuckles then gives the guy’s shoulder a pat, “Thank you, Hank. You can set it down by that wall over there.”

“Yes, Miss Fabray,” He nods and wheels off the box.

Santana quirks a brow, “You’re on a first name basis with the delivery guy?”

“We’ve been in business together for awhile,” Quinn nods and waves for her to come closer. “Two things first,” Quinn points to the giant box being wheeled away, “That’s a 3D Printer – which we’re going to have so much fun with once it’s installed – and these.”

Santana looks down at pair of the most dorkiest glasses she’s ever seen being handed to her.

“Try them on,” Quinn says.

Santana snorts and backs away with a chuckle, “I’m not wearing those.”

Quinn rolls her eyes, “Just do it.”

“So you can snap an embarrassing pic of me to post everywhere?” Santana waves off, “Nope. I wear contacts for a reason.”

Quinn just gives her a stern look until Santana finally relents and snatches them from her hand.

She slides them on and is immediately surprised by the graphics that pop up. These aren’t your normal pair of dork glasses, they’re super high tech dork glasses! She looks around at the various boxes and equipment surrounding before looking back to Quinn who has this proud smile on her face.

“Cool right?” She asks while Santana continues to look around.

“This is awesome,” Santana mumbles in awe. She sees an icon that kind of look like a camera and asks, “Can this thing take freaking pictures?”

“Even better,” Quinn answers, “They can capture scans which can be sent to Mercedes’ laptop or directly to the 3D printer. Once it’s up and running, we can replicate pretty much anything!”

“Like the necklace?” Santana smirks.

“Like the necklace,” Quinn confirms.

Santana’s just about to praise her for nabbing such a handy find when the door leading to the garage slides open and in comes Brittany, clad in her leather jacket and Ray Bans.

“Someone’s parked in the loading zone. I think you’re about to get towed,” Brittany calls out as she chucks her helmet on the counter and slides off her sunglasses.

“Crap!” Tina curses from her desk set up across the room and quickly bolts outside.

Quinn chuckles at the pair but Santana continues to watch as Brittany grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. Her cheeks look a little flushed as she tips the bottle back for a long drink and Santana stares the whole time, wondering why Brittany doesn’t wear this leather jacket more often. That paired with Brittany’s tight blue jeans and white t-shirt is a look Santana won’t ever get tired of.

When Brittany pulls away from the bottle, she notices Santana and Quinn and starts to make her way over to them. Now with her coming their way head on, Santana can’t help but admire the view. It seems like Brittany knows Santana’s caught in a trance again because she reaches up and rakes her fingers through her hair, attempting to bring some life into it after being constrained by her helmet.

As Santana’s eyes slowly drag up Brittany’s slim frame, her mouth goes dry.

“Jesus, give me those!” Quinn snaps when she notices Santana’s leering.

“What?” Santana sputters out.  

“You’re ridiculous. That’s what,” Quinn shakes her head just as Brittany approaches them.  

“Shut up,” Santana hisses just before Brittany greets them.

“Hey, finally invest in a pair of x-ray glasses?” Brittany asks but it’s directed at Santana. She’s wearing this smug grin as she adds, “Although, you don’t need them if wanted to see me naked.”  

“Here we go,” Quinn groans as she face palms while Santana shakes her head.

“They’re not x-ray glasses,” Santana corrects her.

“Just for looks then?” Brittany asks, “Do we all get a pair?”

“No, we’ll just share this one,” Quinn says as Santana hands them over to her, “I already know what Santana would use them for anyway and I don’t think anyone needs that.”

Brittany frowns at Quinn, “You don’t want Santana to see? That’s kind of rude.”

“They’re not for seeing,” Santana clarifies with a chuckle, “They can take pictures.”

“Oh! Wow, really? That’s like some super secret spy stuff,” Brittany comments before taking a sip from her bottle.

“Yeah. They’ll be perfect for Emma when she and Tina go to the Cartier vault,” Quinn replies proudly.

Santana nods while Quinn stows away the glasses case for safe keeping. She turns to Brittany, “Nice jacket.”

Brittany looks down at what she’s wearing as if she forgot, “Oh this old thing?”

Santana chuckles, “Did you have a good ride?”

Brittany hops up on a counter and swings her legs, “Yeah, it was nice. Hot out, but nice. You should come with me next time. It’d be perfect for you, maybe you’ll finally find some peace.”

Santana shakes her head, “Peace? That’s the last thing I’d find if I got on that thing with you.”

“See, that’s what I don’t get,” Brittany laughs and waves at all the new equipment, “You can play with all this gear and put yourself in danger with these heists, but you draw the line at riding a motorcycle? Because that’s too risky?”

Santana takes a step closer to Brittany, “Among other things, yes.”

“Other things like what?” Brittany challenges as she sets down her water bottle. Her legs fall open a little wider and Santana nearly slips in to stand right between them without even noticing.

“Well for starters,” Santana narrows her eyes as she steps like she’s being drawn in, “There’s the helmet hair.” She reaches up and ruffles Brittany’s blonde hair, momentarily reveling in the softness, “Not cute.”

“You don’t think I’m cute?” Brittany asks behind a pout.

Santana almost falls for Brittany’s trap, “I just don’t think I could pull that off as well as you do.”

“I beg to differ,” Brittany grins mischievously and tugs Santana in close by her hips. It catches Santana off guard, but she doesn’t move once she’s there. She’s too caught up in the look Brittany’s giving her, “I’ve had many, many dreams of you doing just that and I can confirm, you looked very sexy. No surprise there though, you make everything look sexy.”

Santana smirks as she lifts a brow, “You having dreams about me now?”

“Yup!” Brittany pops the ‘p’ while her hands slide around to the small of Santana’s back, “Hot ones too. I’m kind of jealous of dreamy me. She has way more fun than I do.”  

Santana giggles but it comes out low and husky.

The sound has Brittany licking her lips and the two get so caught up in staring at each other that they completely forget that they aren’t exactly alone. With how wound up they are and so desperate for each other, giving a fuck about being alone has nearly left the building. Brittany’s got Santana trapped between her legs and if Santana’s hands start to trail inward, she’d be right where Brittany wants her.

She thinks back on what Brittany said about changing her mind soon and she finds herself really considering it now.

When has an orgasm ever gotten her into trouble?

Santana thinks of a specific instance actually but chooses to ignore that one because majority of the time it doesn’t.

“Can you two make out somewhere else?” Quinn interrupts with a groan, “Some of us are trying to work here.”

Santana and Brittany both blink out of their daze and pull away from each other.

Thankfully, Quinn and the random delivery guy Hank are the only ones around but Santana doesn’t want to make something like that nearly happening in front of everyone a habit. She doesn’t want to deal with having to explain what’s going on between them; she just wants to steal some expensive shit and get rich, not have a whole existential crisis about whether or not her feelings would be taken seriously.

“I – I’m going to make sure Tina’s alright,” Santana says abruptly and heads outside. The more distance she can put between her and Brittany right now, the better. That was too close of a call for her comfort.

Quinn just eyes Santana leaving and turns back to Brittany with this tired look on her face, “So I see you two are still like this…”

Brittany frowns as Santana disappears out the door, “I guess so.”

\\

As the countdown ticks away, the most important day for Santana arrives. She’s trying hard to seem cool and collected, but on the inside she can’t help but feel a little anxious. Today, Emma and Tina are off to the jewelers to hopefully get a successful scan of the Toussaint so Quinn can begin the printing process and Tina can start crafting the decoy. It’s probably the most important part of the entire heist because without this scan, the whole thing goes to shit.

“Knock knock,” Brittany says softly as she raps her knuckles on Santana’s bedroom door. She’s already poking her head in through the crack, looking for where her partner might be.

“Hey,” Santana greets from the edge of her bed. She’s been sitting there for awhile trying to wrangle her thoughts so she can make it in time for the live feed of Emma and Tina’s trip.

“We’re just about to connect to the feed downstairs. You coming down?” Brittany asks.

Santana just nods, “Yeah. I’ll be there in a sec.”

Brittany frowns a little at the sight of her and the sound of that faraway tone.

“You okay?” She asks in that voice that calms Santana and puts her on edge even more so all at once. The blonde goes to take a seat next to her partner and eyes her warily, “You look stressed.”

“I think I am,” Santana chuckles lightly and turns to Brittany, “It’s an important day.”

Brittany gives her a sympathetic grin and squeezes at Santana’s thigh, “We’re gonna be fine. Everyone knows what they need to do. You know how to get us out if something comes up, right?”

Santana returns the grin, “Right.”

“So there’s nothing to worry about then,” Brittany shrugs, “We’re prepared for whatever happens. You made sure of that.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Santana nods, already feeling somewhat eased by Brittany’s words, “Just the jitters I guess.”

“We’ll be okay,” Brittany moves to stand and holds out her hand, “Now turn that frown upside down, we’ve got a show to catch.”

Santana smiles at the offered hand.

This is why their dynamic is so perfect;. when one is starting to spin out, the other takes hold of the wheel and gets them back on track. They balance each other out but also always have each other’s backs. It’s something Santana’s never found in anyone else and it’s one of her favorite things about being in this with Brittany.

So Santana takes Brittany’s hand and they head downstairs together.

\\

It’s one of the most nerve-racking thirty minutes of Santana’s life, but just as Brittany predicted everything goes according to plan. They get a perfect scan and start the printing process so that by the time Tina returns to the loft there is a set of zirconia ready for her. While Emma’s across town attending her first session with Rachel Berry in regards to designing the gown she’ll wear for the Gala, Tina gets started on replicating the necklace.

“Wow,” Tina breathes out as she steps forward to get a closer look. The rest of the team minus Emma is huddled around her as she looks in the 3D printer’s case, almost mesmerized by how similar the fake is to the actual necklace.

“Think you can work with this?” Santana smirks, nudging her childhood friend’s arm.

Tina’s smile is big and bright, “Definitely. This’ll be fun!”

Sugar steps up too and her hands itch to make a grab at it, “You guys think I can try it on?”

“No!” Everyone says in unison.

Sugar just pouts and jams her hands into her pockets.

\\

In the following days the team begins to find their grove and go off on their individual missions: Emma deep in designing Rachel Berry’s dress, Tina hard at work on the necklace, and Mercedes hacking away. While Brittany hangs back with her and Sugar, Santana and Quinn head to the Met for their next task: plant a Banksy.

It’s a simple switcheroo, one that’ll cause enough ruckus to grab the security team’s attention which is exactly what they want. Minus the getting caught part, of course.

So once inside the Met, the two split off: Santana gets into position with the painting while Quinn distracts a guard. They’ve done something like this loads of times before, so the switch is smooth and Santana’s out of there in no time. With the Met thinking there’s been a breach of their security system, Mercedes can slip in and do whatever she needs to do to make sure that they can get around undetected.

Once a crowd begins to form, it’s all pretty fast moving and the two slowly make their way back to the car without a second glance.

When Santana and Quinn get inside, Santana pulls out her phone to send a text to Brittany to update her on their progress. She’s surprised to find a new text waiting for her though when she swipes into the conversation. It’s a selfie with Brittany and Sugar making silly faces while Mercedes sits behind them looking as unamused as ever with both of her middle fingers up.

It makes Santana chuckle before she goes to type her text.

Quinn notices and asks, “What’s so funny?”

“Just this picture Britt sent,” Santana shrugs as she types, “It’s kinda cute I guess.”

Quinn watches Santana’s smile grow and quirks her brow, “So…what is it about you and Brittany?”

Santana sends off the text and looks to Quinn questioningly, “What do you mean?”

“I see how you two interact with each other. Neither of you have changed any after all these years,” Quinn explains, “All of the planning and the scheming and the intricacy of it all…it’s like your foreplay or something.”

Santana feels her chest tighten and quickly turns away from Quinn to focus on starting the car. Here she goes again, sticking her nose job in places that she shouldn’t. Santana wished Quinn would just mind her business, but that wouldn’t really be Quinn now would it?

“That’s just how we are,” Santana brushes off as she begins to drive, “We like to have fun.”

“So that’s what you’re calling it?” Quinn smirks.

Santana rolls her eyes, “What else am I supposed to call it, Q?”

Quinn just shrugs and goes to look out the window. The silence doesn’t last long though.

“Fuck,” Santana snaps as they catch up to all the traffic, “We’re going to be here forever!”

Quinn chuckles at her dramatics. Since asking her question, they’ve sat in near silence the entire ride so Quinn jokingly asks, “Trapped in a car with me, isn’t that a dream come true for you?”

“You have no idea,” Santana answers sarcastically then lays on the horn as if it’ll make all the traffic suddenly disappear, “Let’s fucking go people!”

“Stop! What’s that going to do?” Quinn whines and starts swatting at Santana’s hand until she quits it. She gives her an annoyed glare which Santana returns instantly.

“We’re just going to have to wait it out,” Quinn says to which Santana lets out a long sigh. “Don’t be like that. This is good, we can finally catch-up. We haven’t really talked much since you broke into my garage.”

Santana softens at that. At one point in time, she and Quinn were pretty tight. Not in the way that she and Brittany are, but Quinn was around just as much. Also, there was the whole giving birth thing that Santana had to witness and that kind of thing creates a weird bond between people.

“Okay, what do you want to talk about?” Santana relents and puts the car in park since they aren’t moving anytime soon.

Quinn looks pleased with herself, like her mood has instantly lifted at the very idea of some girl talk.

Santana regrets agreeing to this the instant Quinn starts talking about Beth and how much she misses her daughter.

\\

 Later that night, Santana’s sitting alone at a diner across from the McCallister Security tower. She’s been sipping coffee while Mercedes and Sugar are off trying to infiltrate the building. They got word that an important meeting regarding the Met’s breach was going down and it was imperative that they listened in.

Right about now, Mercedes should be tapping the room and then on her way to meet Santana at the diner where they could catch all the hot gossip. It takes about ten more minutes of Santana waiting before Mercedes finally joins her.

“Where’s Sugar?” Santana questions as Mercedes pulls out the headphones.

“Went back to the loft already,” Mercedes answers and hands Santana an ear bud, “Said listening to a meeting was even worse than having to sit in one.”

Santana chuckled as she popped the earbud in, “Fair enough. Let’s see what we’re dealing with.”

\\

It’s late by the time Santana and Mercedes return to the loft and almost everyone has gone to bed, everyone but Brittany.

“You’re late,” She points out as Santana and Mercedes enter. Mercedes’ brows rise at the blonde’s tone and quickly disappears to her room without a word.

Santana just strolls over with a sweet smile on her lips, “You keeping tabs on me, Britt-Britt?”

Brittany shrugs, “Maybe. Maybe I kind of missed you? Between Emma’s weird muttering and the constant squeak of rubber gloves and Tina being annoying, it wasn’t much fun here.”

Santana laughs, “What about Quinn?”

“She’s getting into character for tomorrow. Whatever that means…”

“She has her interview with Vogue,” Santana explains as she shrugs out of her jacket, “Sorry you were lonely. Mercedes and I grabbed a bite while we listened to the meeting. She’s actually pretty cool. Oh! I brought you a cannoli. You like those, right?”

Brittany instantly perks up as Santana hands her a small box. She wastes no time in taking a bite and hums happily at the taste, “Thanks San. You bring home the best desserts.”

Santana feels a blush beginning to creep up her cheek, but she does her best to ignore it and takes a seat next to Britt on the couch.

“How’d it all go?” Brittany asks with her mouthful.

“We’re in! It was an interesting meeting but a long one,” Santana smiles proudly before it falls, “These late nights are starting to get to me.”

“That’s because you need to relax,” Brittany tells her before putting on her best flirty smile, “You know,  I can help with that. My offer still stands.”

Santana lets out a breathy chuckle, “Cute. I’ll keep that in mind, but I think I know something that might help me even more?”

“What is it?”

“Take the lead on the meeting tomorrow?”

“You giving up control on something?” Brittany fakes a gasp, “Maybe you really are losing steam.”

Santana just rolls her eyes, “You really gonna give me a hard time?”

“Sorry. Yes San,” Brittany nods seriously, “I can run the meeting for you.”

\\

And so she does.

The next day, Brittany gathers the team for an update on the McCallister Security meeting Santana and Mercedes listened in on last night and how that’ll effect what happens at the Met.

Mercedes has the overview of all the Met camera angles projected on the drop down screen while Brittany comes up to the group with a mug in her hand. She ends up handing it to Santana who is curled up the arm chair watching the various camera angles like it’s her favorite show.

“Here. Made this for you,” Brittany says softly as she hands Santana the mug, “It’s herbal. The packet said it’s supposed to help you relax or something.”

Santana takes the offered mug with a surprised smile, “Thanks Britt.”

“You’re welcome,” She winks before turning back to the team to get the meeting started, “Okay! So as you can see, the Met is covered in camera and security will be watching them like hawks. It’s almost impossible to get out of there without being spotted…let alone with a ridiculously expensive necklace at that.”

“Keyword there is almost,” Santana interjects before taking a sip of her tea because she can’t help herself.

“Right. We’re going for a spot security doesn’t even care about: the bathroom,” Upon its mention, Mercedes clicks to the angle, “But once we get going security is going to go over everything with a fine tooth comb, even angles like this. Whoever exits that is going to be a suspect. So what do we do?” Brittany asks and waits for someone to answer. When no one does, she continues, “We get a mule. Not an actual one like I thought, but a figurative one…sort of.”

The group all exchange somewhat confused looks so Santana cuts in, “Someone else is going to move the necklace for us.”

Brittany points to Santana, “Exactly.”

“Sugar, how much room do you need to plan something on someone?” Santana asks.

Sugar ponders a moment, “Like nine feet?”

Santana nods and looks to Mercedes, “And how long will it take to create a nine foot blind spot?”

“Maybe 10 or 12 days if I’m moving the camera bit by bit,” Mercedes responds.

Santana smiles proudly at their answers and looks to Brittany who’s already looking back at her with an equally pleased grin. She loves when things just come together like this.

“Sounds like a solid timeframe to me,” Santana says and turns back to the team, “What do you think?”

“Yeah, I can get to work on that now,” Mercedes replies and everyone else starts to shuffle about to continue their tasks.

“Wait!” Sugar stops them and raises her hand, “Question.”

Santana notes the hand in the air and laughs as she looks to Brittany, “Is she raising her hand right now?”

Brittany just shakes her head and laughs too.

“What is it, Sugar? I already told you I’m not paying for your Metro Card,” Santana says.

“It’s not that,” Sugar waves off as her hand drops to her lap, “I was just wondering…are you two like…a thing?

Santana looks slowly to Brittany.

“I was wondering that as well,” Emma adds, “You don’t really see one of them without the other.”

“Two peas in a pod!” Tina chimes in happily.

“Glad to see I’m not the only one that’s noticed these two fools making googly eyes at each other all the damn time,” Mercedes says next.

Santana catches Quinn’s eye and the blonde just smirks as she adds, “Didn’t I tell you that your subtly needs some work?”

Santana feels her face getting hot so she’s glad that the lights are still off for the projector because she’s sure everyone would see her as this blushing mess and that’s not a good look.

The team is all talking at once, giving their examples and theories, and it’s a lot. Santana doesn’t know how to deal and Brittany’s just kind of watching with her hand covering her mouth, hiding her smile. She thinks it’s all so hilarious and she loves how flustered and riled up Santana gets over the teasing.

The girl can dish it but struggles when it comes to taking it.

Suddenly Sugar has her hand up again and she’s speaking a little louder than everyone else, “Okay, raise your hand if you think Santana and Brittany are banging.”

Everyone raises their hand instantly, even Brittany.

“Oh my God, Britt, put your hand down,” Santana urges looking stressed.

Brittany does as she’s told as a couple giggles escape her.

Santana doesn’t think it’s quite as amusing though, “We aren’t banging. Who even calls it that anymore?”

“That explains everything,” Tina replies knowingly, “It’s probably why this heist is so immaculate, she’s gotta channel all that extra energy somewhere.”

“Preach,” Mercedes nods and goes to bump her fist with Tina.

It’s all playful – at least that’s what it was meant to be – but Santana hates feeling like the butt of a joke. She hates that her thing with Brittany is being analyzed by all these people she barely knows. People that shouldn’t be commenting on whatever goes on with them.

So she snaps and jumps to her feet to address the crowd.

“They’re immaculate because I’m a fucking genius and decided to use my time in solitary confinement wisely, so let’s just be careful here with trying to talk about things you know nothing about,” Santana threatens with her steely gaze, “Don’t forget. I’m a convicted criminal. I’ve been to jail and I will shank one of you if you happen to piss me off. So try me, I dare you.”

“Santana…” Brittany whispers and gives Santana’s arm a gentle tug, “They were just joking.”

“Well this isn’t fucking comedy hour, okay?” Santana growls and Brittany backs off as she turns to the group again, “You’re all here to do a job. Not speculate. There is nothing going on between Brittany and I – not that it’s any of your business – so let’s stay focused on the plan and do what we all came here to do. Get me?”

The group all nod in unison before heading back to their tasks.

Santana turns away from them and hits the lights. She’s still fuming and a little embarrassed but she instantly feels a whole lot better when she spots Brittany staring at her ass.

“That’s not helping,” Santana points out.

Brittany chuckles, “Maybe you should stop wearing those leather pants around me. You know they’re my favorite.”

“I thought you don’t pick favorites?” Santana asks with narrowed eyes.

Brittany lifts her shoulder casually, “Guess I make an exception when it comes to you.”

Santana’s heart skips a beat and it takes everything in her not to swoon. This is Brittany. This is how she talks to everyone. She’s charismatic and flirty and everything good in this miserable stinking world, but she can’t get wrapped up in all of that again.

It didn’t end well before and she doubts it’ll end well now.

[centuryofdean]

Of Food and Comfort - Part 10

Author Note:: SMUT Alert. Like... I got carried away.. again. Now that I am rereading it before posting, like damn. I’m wondering what the hell got into me and what I can do to write something like this better next time. Criticism is always welcome! *As long as it isn’t left in a degrading / hurtful way.*

Author Disclaimer:: Marvel and its characters are not mine. I take no credit. Instead I claim the maybe not so great plot, writing and characteristics of the reader insert character. I am not a die hard Marvel fan, I haven’t read all the comics, but have watched the movies. I may get some things wrong, so please don’t hate me. I also have been incorporating Old Norse as terms of endearment.

Summary:: You worked for Tony Stark as a…mechanic of sorts. Anything around the Avengers compound that needed a technicians touch, you handled. With working and living there, you had grown to be friendly with the super heroes. Of course you had grown to have feelings for one of them. The muscled Thunder God to be exact.

Rated:: M for Mature. Please do not read this story unless you are 18+. Smut. NSFW

Pairing:: Thor x Reader

Before you knew it, January and February came and left. It was a little saddening that time seemed to be flying, but every day was just as beautiful and magical as Christmas.

The Avengers weren’t called away on any missions, and Thor hadn’t been called back to Asgard. This left you with a month of bliss with him. Just like before, Thor followed you around the base as you worked, he helped while you cooked dinners. Only now there was kisses.

A lot of kisses.

A while ago when you were making dinner, Thor entered the kitchen and zeroed in on you. Before you could even utter a ‘hello’ he had grasped you by the hips and lifted you up and onto the counter top of the island. Thankfully there wasn’t anything on the island, because surely it would have been pushed to the floor with the force of his actions. In seconds he descended on your lips.

Every kiss you both shared was enough to make you lift off the ground with the amount of butterflies in your stomach. This one on the other hand was—it was hot. He wasn’t frantic, but each movement of his lips and tongue was precise. Warm hands worked up under your shirt to trace the skin of your sides, ghosting over your bra cups slightly before dipping back down.

Unconsciously you worked your legs open and had the heels of your feet digging into Thor’s thighs while you tried to pull him closer. A fire ignited in your core, and the friction only made it burn hotter and warm you from the inside out.

“What has gotten into you,” you gasped for breath while he kissed your neck and rutted into your center. Each movement worked you up more and more.

He didn’t respond at first, just nibble at your collar bone and pulling your body tightly into his grasp.

“I was blessed with a very nice dream,” he murmured.

Your hand reached down towards the button of his jeans, fiddling with the button for a second before popping it open.

“Come on guys!”

Thor immediately pulled away, facing away from you and the entrance of the kitchen. Clint was standing there with one hand plastered across his eyes and the other on his hips, foot tapping fast in frustration. “Could you at least do this kind of thing somewhere like in your rooms, or in the movie room or something? Somewhere that no one will be likely to interrupt, like me,” he muttered.

When Valentine’s Day rolled around, you made a little dinner for the both of you and ate it in his rooms. There wasn’t a lot romantic about it, you had a feeling Thor wasn’t aware of the holiday for couples and that was fine by you. It truly felt like a made up holiday just for cards and candy sales. Romantic gestures should be made year round, not just on one day.

Instead the both of you ate, then cuddled and watched a few movies.

Well, you tried to watch movies, but Thor’s wandering hands kept distracting you with the small images he traced on your stomach and thighs. Eventually you both ended up wrapped in one another, yanking at each other’s clothes between frantic kisses.

Even though you were determined to finally have sex with him that night, Thor pleased you with his mouth and silver tongue instead. When you asked him later why he still hasn’t taken the next step, he simply said it wasn’t the right time.

It was now rounding on the third month of being wrapped up in the life of Thor, when the team finally had a mission to do. Everyone was either running or walking with purpose through the base either collecting their gear or looking for something that was out of place. Thor simply grabbed the hammer and strode towards the doors out to the grounds. The quinjet that was used for missions was kept out on a helipad out behind the building.

Since the moment FRIDAY sent the message out through the intercoms, you were trailing behind Thor. It was just a mission, he had been on dozens of them with the team. Still you couldn’t help but feel a little off kilter at the idea of him—and everyone else—going out to fight again. Everything had been so nice and calm for the past few months and you enjoyed it too much.

Soon the rest of the team were filing out of the building towards you both and the quinjet. Thor turned and walked a few yards out away from you before thrusting Mjölnir in the air. In return lightning shattered down from the sky and struck the sleek Asgardian metal and flowed through Thor. Before your eyes, his clothes changed from the relaxed jeans and t-shirt he adorned, to the dense Asgardian leather and metal you had only seen him wear and handful of times. His hair even erupted into braids leading from his forehead down to a low pony tail at the base of his neck.

Was it possible you could get Mjölnir to do a cool costume and hair change on you? Maybe when he got back you could ask him to show you how.

Thor rushed forward and wrapped you in his arms for a bruising kiss. When he finally pulled away you couldn’t help but smile. His bright blue eyes twinkled when he glanced down at you.

“Be careful,” you patted his shoulder. “I’ll have some chilli ready for you all when you get back.”

“Is chilli a soup,” he questioned.

“Depends who you ask,” you laughed. The others were boarding the ship, calling for Thor to join them. You quickly hugged him closer to you and kissed his neck softly. “I love you big guy.”

Thor finally pulled away from your embrace, holding you at arms length while his now steel grey eyes looked between yours. A slow smile worked its way onto his face before he kissed you quickly, “And I love you as well drotting.”

Then he was gone, jogging towards the ship that had already started and was hovering a few feet off of the ground.

You watched the jet take off, still wrapped up in the thought that you both just said you loved each other.

One Week Later

Worrying wasn’t something you resorted to usually, but oddly when it came to the God of Thunder all you seemed to do was worry. You tried to tell yourself he was a God, and had the rest of the team with him. Everything was fine and the mission was just taking longer than normal. So you tried to keep yourself busy.

FRIDAY had compiled a list of things for you to work on to keep your mind busy. There were numerous tasks around base that needed an installation, tune up or a complete repair. This started around day four, from the moment you woke up until the moment you went to sleep you were tinkering on things. It worked all too well. One time while trying to replace the brakes on one of Tony’s Roadsters you fell asleep underneath it between brakes.

You had just showered and was thinking about ordering in a pizza when FRIDAY came to life on the intercoms. “The Team is on their way back Miss L/N. Estimated time of arrival is five hours from now,” the AI stated.

Five hours was a little short for you to make chilli, but if you cooked it on high in the crockpots you should be able to get it done just as they arrived.

The hours flew by. You had prepared the chilli shortly after hearing FRIDAY’s message and it was almost ready. Everyone would want to shower and change before eating anyway you would think. Smiling to yourself, you waited by the door eagerly to greet everyone when the reached the living room.

Tony was the first to get through the door, he didn’t look injured but just extremely tired. Soon everyone was piling in the living room, some a little roughed up but all tired. Thor was the last to get in the door, and you started to stampede to him with excitement of seeing him.

Just as you were about to throw your arms around him, you noticed that blood coated his left shoulder.

“What happened,” you gasped, lightly using a finger to lift at his shredded armor to see the shallow wound.

He didn’t answer but pulled you to him and kissed you soundly. After he pulled away, he smiled through a hiss of pain as he shrugged, “The enemy got in a few good blows.”

“Chilli is in the kitchen,” you called out as everyone started to disperse, “help yourselves!”

Thor started towards the hall towards his room. “Schat,” he said. Accustomed to the nickname—though you didn’t know what it meant still—you turned back to him. “I am going to bathe myself. Will you bring food for us both to my rooms? I would like to take a nap after we eat.”

Wanting to give him enough time to shower, you grabbed a few Tupperware bowls and lids to carry the chilli in. After filling both bowls up, you sprinkled in some bacon and cheese and put the top back on. A few slices of sourdough bread and some drinks later, you were making your way to Thor’s room with a small picnic of sorts. The shower was still running when you dropped off the food and left to your own room to change into something to sleep in. If Thor was going to take a nap, you might end up taking one as well.

Just as you settled yourself against his dozen or so pillows, Thor emerged from the bathroom with steam covered in just basketball shorts. The way he smiled when he saw you caused you to smile. One week away made you yearn for his touch and affection. You missed the way he smiled at you, or the way his eyes would almost twinkle when he looked into your own. The gash on his shoulder didn’t look as bad as before, though it should probably still get bandaged.

Thor settled himself down on the bed just as you got up. “Where are you going,” he asked confused, reaching out for you when you slid past him towards the bathroom.

“To get something for your war wound,” you replied as you riffled through his medicine cabinet. Tony kept everything stocked here, bless his soul.

On your knees, you leaned over Thor’s side and carefully used some topical ointments, gauze and tape to cover his gash. He hissed once or twice while you rubbed in the ointment but did not complain.

After he was bandaged, you settled in and passed him his food. Each of you ate in relative silence, but quickly. Your mind stopped racing and calmed its worry the moment he walked through the living room door. Even with blood on him, your worry reduced significantly. Surprisingly you had forgotten your small conversation about loving one another before he left. Now—well now it was all you could think about now that he was here and settled.

He must have meant it, Thor doesn’t typically say things he doesn’t mean. That being said, you felt ecstatic at the fact that he did feel the same as you; that he loved you.

“Ah,” he smiled after taking in his last spoonful, “this is chilli. I like this one.”

You laughed softly, using the bread to scoop up the last of the tomato sauce in your bowl. Thor collected the empty dishes and set them aside on one of his nightstands. You mentioned you were going to put them away, but he grunted, pushing you back into the pillows and curling up against your side with his head on your chest. “Not now schat,” he grumbled, “now it is time for napping, we can clean the dirty dishware later.”

He snuggled up against you, arms around your waist and legs curling up towards yours.

That is where you laid for a few hours, your hand tangled in his hair while the other rubbed up and down his arms. The TV was flashing some show, sound turned down low. You had tried to sleep yourself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, because you were enjoying him being draped around you too much. At one point, his one of his deep snores cut off, throwing him into a coughing fit. You couldn’t help but giggle softly, running your hand down his back in an act of comfort so that he settled back into normal breathing.

One of his hands slipped under your shirt and slid up to cup your rib cage, thumb rubbing back and forth over your skin softly. You sighed in content, letting your eyes drift from the television to him again. Lazy blue eyes were twinkling back at you, sleepily awake it seemed. “Hey big guy,” you murmured, not wanting to completely rouse him from being asleep. Everything was nice and peaceful for the time being.

“Hello drotting,” he whispered back, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your neck where he could reach. “I missed you.”

A smile worked its way on your face between giggles as his mustache tickled your flesh.

“I missed you too,” you replied, threading fingers through his hair as his lips started to build pressure in kisses. They started soft and low on your neck, lazy, and then built up to harsh and sucking at the spots you were most sensitive.

A soft moan left your lips when his teeth nipped at your earlobe, toes curling. In just a few moments he had easily slid from your side to straddling your thighs and leaning over you while he lavished your neck and collarbone with kisses. Hot hands were rubbing the skin of your hips and stomach, working your shirt up inch by inch.

This wasn’t new to the both of you. From the time you returned from Asgard, there were plenty of times the both of you were completely naked to one another. Those times of fooling around were amazing, but you still wanted to take the final step. Determined to make those wants come true, you helped him pull off the t-shirt you were wearing before gluing your mouth to his.

Heat consumed you fast and hard. A small patch of sweat started on your forehead as the kiss you shared grew—as did the ache in your core.

One of Thor’s hands sought out your breast, softly rubbing a thumb across the pert peak of it in between soft squeezes. The other was slowly inching your underwear down to your thighs. You honestly only noticed when the cool air of the room was brushing against your warm heat when he gently urged your legs apart.

“I must make it up to you for every day I have been gone,” he said, voice deep and husky as he pulled you by the hips to the edge of the bed. “Seven days. Seven orgasms? Does that sound fair to you schat?”

The fire in your core blazed to life and left a nice red blush from the tops of your thighs all the way up your stomach to your neck and face. Thor did like to say things to get you worked up, this wasn’t an exception. Just the idea alone of being pushed to explosive pleasure seven times seemed like it would break you almost. Was that even possible for one day of fooling around?

Your thoughts were cut short as a hot moist heat lapped at your opening for a second before swiping up to your bundle of nerves.

A ragged moan left you as Thor repeated the action. Debilitating pleasure coursed through your veins as you grabbed a hand full of his hair to yank him up and away. His brows furrowed in confusion as you panted and gazed down at him. “I’m not sure if I can take seven, but I want one to be with you inside of me,” you blushed even as the words left your lips.

One of the most wicked grins you had ever seen erupted across his face. “Yes Y/N, those are my intentions,” he murmured before diving back between your legs.

At a loss for words you fell back into the bed with both hands on his head, urging him to continue while your hips shamelessly thrust against his lips and tongue. You were thrilled at the thought of finally experiencing sex with Thor. Just trying to imagine what it would be like sent tingles down your spine and into your core. Another whimpering moan left you as you continued to think about it, letting Thor pleasure you while your mind ran wild. The soft thrust of two fingers into your opening, caused you to twitch with ecstasy, you were close.  

The inner fantasy you conjured changed drastically to envision Thor thrusting into you, in tandem with his fingers thrusting into you, and his soft moans of pleasure, and the simulation to your clit by him sucking softly at it. This pushed you over the edge, crying out softly as your hips jerked out of control and riding out the waves of pleasure that were consuming you. Through it all, he lapped at you more erotically, fingers twisting and turning inside of you while you cried out.

When the last dregs of pleasure left you, you laid limp on his bed panting for breath and smiling softly at the euphoria that settled in you. “I love you,” you murmured softly.

Thor’s hands ran up and down your sides softly, pressing soft kisses to your thighs as he climbed back onto the bed with you. “I love you as well schat,” he replied, lips coming back to your neck before gently pulling you back into the pillows. You got to enjoy a moment of bliss before he had coaxed your legs open once more and trailed his fingers softly over your dripping sex.

“We have all night to enjoy one another,” he laughed, “but I don’t ever remember being such an impatient man as much as I am now.”

Your hand reached down and started to yank at his shorts, trying to pull them off of him. The task wasn’t too easy as he was kneeling on them between your legs, but you managed to get them to his knees. Reaching up with your neck, you pressed a gentle kiss to his chin while a hand grasped him and squeezed affectionately. “I am impatient too,” you murmured, “I think we waited long enough. I just want you already.”

He laughed loudly at this, slipping a finger back into your relaxed sex, pumping slowly. “I have wanted this for a long time, but told myself we couldn’t until I knew you felt the same,” he smiled. His hand expertly played you like a musical instrument while he kissed you thoroughly. The noises he got you to produce was enough to be embarrassed about, but you stopped caring a long time ago.

“Wait,” you pushed him away softly with the soft-spoken word. “You have been waiting for me to tell you I love you before we could sleep together?”

Thor looked so relaxed on his knees between your legs. One of his hands actually was stroking himself slowly while the other was between your thighs. All the while he was smiling happily. “Of course,” he said simply. “As I said, you are too good for simple pleasures. Loving one another is far greater than simple pleasures when it comes to sexual relations.”

You were at a loss for words. It was a little hard to try and focus with him pleasuring you still, and your mind was racing. How long has he loved you? How did he even know he loved you? As a God, he had to have lived many lifetimes. You weren’t young exactly, but you lived long enough to know that this feeling you had for him was truly love. Starting to become overwhelmed with all the thoughts and feelings, you were breathing harder as you felt your body start to build for another climax.

All at once Thor impaled himself in you, causing yourself to climax again and cry out in pleasure while tears streaked down your cheeks. What was this emotional state you were in? The bliss from another orgasm was there, but you couldn’t help the tears that were coming quickly now as you moved your hips against his.

It was a tight fit, but you felt so complete and whole with him stretching you around himself, riding out the orgasm with small thrusts against him.

Thor pressed his lips to your cheeks, tongue trailing all the tears that you created before kissing you soundly while he thrust into you. This pleasure was better than anything else he had done to you. Every time he retreated and pushed back into you, he stimulated your bundle of nerves and had you crying out for more. You almost couldn’t breathe it was so good. Suddenly Thor thrust deep and hard, causing you to scream out in surprise with another climax and loss of warmth as he quickly pulled out of you and held himself above you.

How in the hell could he bring you to bliss so quickly like that?

Trying to gain your barrings, you looked up at him confused as he had his eyes closed and held himself in his hand tightly. His hand didn’t move, but he took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes to you once more. Confused, you touched his shoulder lightly, feeling yourself still throbbing in beat with your heart after another onslaught of pleasure.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, leaning forward he kissed you thoroughly for a moment. “I didn’t want it to end just yet.”

He pounced on you again, kissing you back into the pillows and taking your legs to wrap around his hips while he ground his pelvis into yours. You could feel his member between your legs, pushing between your cheeks and into the sheets. “Before I get lost in you again,” he smirked, “where would you like me to spill myself?”

You had been prepared for this. Just when you started seeing Liam all those months ago, you decided you needed to be prepared and get on birth control. Granted you were determined to still use a condom until you knew of his sexual history, but with Thor you weren’t really worried. Gods didn’t really get STDs from what you could gather. A long time ago you had asked Thor if he ever got sick and he replied that human aliments didn’t affect him, Asgardians never fell ill.

You crushed your lips to his chest, kissing and sucking on his neck as you worked yourself over his pelvis. “You finish with me,” you whispered. “I take a shot to prevent pregnancy.”

Reconnecting your lips with his, he guided you back to the bed, gently cupping himself and sliding into your center slowly. A soft grunt left you as he became fully seated. It was a little less tight than just moments ago, but it still felt amazing. He worked himself slowly in and out while kissing you hungrily. The pleasure soon built up again and you were moaning uncontrollably into his mouth or neck when you needed air to breath. His hips snapped at just the right angles, but the slow steady pace was maddening. More than once you tried to urge him faster by moaning in his ear, “Faster, please—oh Thor please.”

He moaned into your neck, but paid no mind to your wishes. Instead you clawed at his back, crying out as you edged closer and closer to another blissful orgasm.

“If you won’t go faster,” you pleased, “harder?”

Thor grunted and obliged, snapping his hips a little harder than the last time and grinding his pelvis into you for more stimulation. You screamed happily, enjoying the ease of ache. Still it wasn’t enough, but you were content for the moment.

One of his hands reached down from by your head and cupped a breast, tweaking your peaks almost painfully. In turn your hips twisted in the action and sought out more pleasure from his aching pace. A loud whimper came from him before he kissed you harshly. Your lip got pinched and you could taste blood slightly when his tongue invaded your month you tangle with your own. It brought on another moan, but suddenly he increased his speed.

Even when you needed breath, he didn’t tear his face away, you both just panted into each other’s lips. In seconds you were crying out again, falling into blinding oblivion as pleasure racked your body once more. Thor’s thrusts had grown erratic, and his own moans grew in volume. Your pleasure only seemed to peak and tumble over even more when you felt him grow and explode inside of you, more heat filling you from the inside out.

Every motion between the both of you seemed to slow, breath lost as you settled onto the bed and felt Thor’s weight press against you softly. Not enough to suffocate you but enough to feel comforting.

Suddenly Thor started to laugh, causing you to open your eyes and take him in. You were shocked to see wetness on his cheeks. Your thumbs wiped it away, and in turn he did the same. Not realizing it, you had cried again, and for some reason so did he.

“Why are you crying,” you asked. You had only seen a handful of men cry before.

“The same reason you were,” he said smiling before pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “I told you loving one another would make joining greater than simple pleasures.”

Laughs left your chest at his words because he was right. You had had sex with men before, but this was the most beautiful and pleasurable time it had ever happened. Before you thought you loved one man, but that was nothing compared to this. Both of you were still panting and wiping at each others faces, trying to catch breath. His skin was molded perfectly with yours as he was still nestled inside of you.

“We should take a shower,” you murmured, kissing his shoulder. “I still need to clean up the kitchen.”

When Thor slowly pulled out of you, you whimpered at the loss. Suddenly you felt completely empty, as if you were missing something that belonged. “Sh,” he whispered, “we will come together again soon.”

Did he feel it too? As if something was missing? You didn’t get a chance to ask before he kissed you again and lifted you into his arms.

“I love you,” he murmured into your hair. A smile that threatened to break your cheeks came over your face.

“I know, I believe you already told me,” you cheeked back to him, enjoying the closeness between you both.

“I have seven days worth of telling you to make up for,” he said as a matter of fact. “And more pleasure to bestow on you too, but that can wait for later.”

You closed your eyes in the shower as you felt Thor’s fingers work shampoo into your hair. The warmth that encased you from his body pressed against yours, the water from the shower and the feeling of a mild scalp massage was amazing.

This, this was love.

Previous Chapter << Part 9: Popcorn

Next Chapter >> Part 11: French Toast

Taglist

@jumpingmanatee @thorfanficwriter​ @lancsnerd​ @captainamericasbeard​ @jennie22feona​ @alyssatjuhhh

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S.T. REWRITE - S2:E6; Chapter Six, The Spy - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

Will’s connection to a shadowy evil grows stronger, but no one’s quite sure how to stop it. Elsewhere, Dustin and Steve forge an unlikely bond.

||3rd Person POV||

The cubes of meat hit the wooden boards with a wet slap. Traveling along the abandoned tracks is Dustin and Steve, each carrying a bucket of butchered meat. Their bait.

"All right, so let me get this straight," Steve sighs, looking at the boy just paces ahead of him. "You kept something you knew was probably dangerous in order to impress a girl who... who you just met?"

Dustin rolls his eyes, sighing irritably as he throws more bait on the track.

"All right, that's grossly oversimplifying things."

Steve shakes his head.

"I mean, why would a girl like some nasty slug anyway?"

"An interdimensional slug?" Dustin smirks. "Because it's awesome."

Steve picked up his pace, making his way to Dustin's side.

"Well, even if she thought it was cool, which she didn't, I... I just..." he shrugs, his lips forming a tight-lipped smile. "I don't know. I just feel like you're trying way too hard."

"Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, alright?"

"It's not about the hair, man," Steve says, shrugging once more as he lazily kicks a stray pinecone from his path. "The key to girls is just... just acting like you don't care."

Dustin looks at him curiously, not expecting the insight.

"Even if you do?"

Steve nods. "Yeah, exactly m. If drives them nuts."

"Then what?"

"You just wait until, uh..." he pauses to throw another chuckle of bait behind him. "until you feel it."

"Feel what?"

"It's like before it's gonna storm, you know? You can't see it, but you can feel it, like this, uh... electricity, you know?"

A spark of recognition flickers across Dustin's face, and he nods eagerly.

"Oh, like the electromagnetic field when the clouds in the atmosphere--"

Steve shakes his head, an unimpressed look on his face. He head flicks to the side, sweeping away a stray lock of hair tickling his forehead.

"No, no, no, no, no. Like a... Like a sexual electricity."

A look of surprise crosses Dustin's face.

"Oh,"

The longer the day stretched on, the more Steve is bewildered at the ever-changing events he could never have foreseen. Nevertheless, he gestures to Dustin as he continues.

"You feel that and then you make your move."

There is a brief pause before Dustin asks simply.

"So that's when you kiss her?"

Steve's eyes widen, and he can't decide whether he should roll his eyes or laugh.

"No, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Romeo."

"Sorry." He mumbles.

"Sure, okay, some girls, yeah, they want you to he aggressive. You know, strong, hot and heavy, like a..." He shrugs once more, looking back at the boy who had begun to lag shyly behind. "I don't know, like a lion."

Dustin hums thoughtfully, his gloved hand reaching inside the white steel bucket as he listens.

"But others, you gotta be slow, you gotta be stealthy, like a..."

His mind travels back in time for the briefest of moments, his heartwarming at the memory of sneaking innocent moments with Nancy Wheeler. He finds himself smiling.

"Like a ninja."

"What type is Nancy?"

And just like that, his smile falters.

"Nancy's different. She's different than the other girls."

"Yeah, she seems pretty special, I guess."

"Yeah. Yeah, she is."

"But this girl's special, too, you know. It's just, like, something about her."

"Woah, woah, woah. Hey, hey, hey" Steve says, stopping them in their tracks and he turns to face Dustin.

"What?"

Steve studies the boy's body language, eyeing him suspiciously.

"You're not falling in love with this girl, are you?"

It is clear to Steve that Dustin has grown shocked and slightly uncomfortable.

"Uh, no. No."

His suspicious stare lingers, but he continues them down the tracks.

"Okay, good. Don't."

"I won't."

His attention returns to the tracks and laying the bait but his thoughts continue to spill from his lips.

"She's only going to break your heart, and you're way too young for that shit."

A thick silence settles between the duo once more, a common theme so far. His thoughts now louder than ever, amplified in the silent autumn air and Steve feels his pity for the boy growing. The kid's got heart, he can tell, and despite his better judgment, he feels a soft spot growing for him.

"Fabergé."

It's Dustin's turn to give a quizzical look, his brow quickly quirks.

"What?"

Steve gestures to his full head of hair, failing to meet Dustin's eye.

"It's Faberegé Organics. Use the shampoo and conditioner, and when your hair's damp... It's not wet, okay? When's its damp..."

"-Damp."

"You do four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray."

Steve doesn't have to see the look on Dustin's face to know the kid is grinning madly. He can hear the smirk in his voice, Dustin is clearly holding back a snicker and already Steve is beginning to regret his decision.

"Farrah Fawcett spray?"

"Yeah, Farrah Fawcet." Steve halts once more, making sure he towers over the boy as he jabs a finger in his face. "You tell anyone I just told you that and your ass is grass. You're dead, Henderson. Do you understand?"

Dustin nods, suppressing his smile as he avoids Steve's gaze.

"Yup."

A new silence blankets the air, with it a new sense of commonality, and understanding. It's comfortable. Another smirk tugs at Dustin's lips as they continue their journey, laying slabs of meat.

"Farrah Fawcett, really?"

Steve shrugs.

"I mean, she's hot."

The tension melts away in the wake of their forming bonds of friendship, they share a smile and an occasional nod. They are each surprised by the unexpected comfort each other’s company brought. Unbeknownst to the pair, the farther they ventured, the closer they got to the decaying tunnels beneath their feet. And to their right, a bright yellow flag planted in the dirt, a marking made earlier by Hopper and his team that signaled rotting earth and decay.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Hopper's fingers release the button as he lets out a defeated sigh. He sits in his truck, radio in hand and he has sent their secret code to El, letting her know it was him. But his shoulders sag, he knows what he has to say needs to be spoken aloud, no translated. Guilt has been a heavyweight on his shoulders since their fight, his inability to mend their mistakes and all the things left unsaid. His time in the tunnels crosses his mind, and how fearful he was when he believed he wouldn't make it.

Not by death, so much. Of course, it was frightening, but what really bothered him - scared him - is what would happen to her if he never saw her again. Not only the way they had left things but what would become of her? How would she stay safe and who could truly know how to take care of her, nurture her. The last thing he wanted was to leave her on her own, and he certainly didn't want to risk going inside and dealing with the problem at hand, without talking to her.

Or least letting her know he was sorry.

So here he sat, his body hunched forward as he lay against the wheel, the radio grasped tightly in his hand. His voice shakey and his heartbreaking. He took a deep breath, and let the words spill out.

"Hey, it's, uh... It's me. I know that I've been gone too long, and uh... It's-- I just, I want you to know that it's not about you and it's not about our fight. Okay?"

His garbled voice rings out in the empty cabin, no one around to hear him but the several boxes are strewn around the room.

"Something came up, and I will... I will explain it all when I see you. I just... I just want you to know that I'm not mad."

His grip on the radio and his own hand grows tighter, he clutches it tightly like a lifeline. He can no longer fight the tears that threaten to spill, and his eyes go red and puffy.

"I'm just sorry. About everything."

The hot tears sting his eyes, he has to stop to collect himself as best he can but it is almost no use at all. His heart lurches, but for the first time in a long time, it is alive. He wishes with all his might that he can be there with her, comfort her. But he knows he can't. He continues to battle the enormous lump in his throat but it is winning.

"I don't want you to get hurt at all. And I don't want to lose you."

He chokes on his tears, but he feels the soft rumble deep within his chest where a weak chuckle forms. He sniffles and speaks once more into the machine.

"Just make sure you heat up some real food. Not just Eggos. And I want you to eat all the peas, even if they're mushy and gross. And..."

He sighs, knowing more than anything he intends to and will keep his next promise. He would move mountains to keep it, and has every intention of showing her, and himself, that he will be there for her.

"I will be home soon."

The monitor clicks off, and the car and the empty cabin go silent.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"This is him last week."

The photo on the projector slides into place and shifts into focus. A map of Will's brain, for the most part normal, but sprinkled across the grayscale map is several flurries of activity. Patches of red.

"And there are the hippocampal abnormalities we had discussed. Nothing out of line with what we've seen from others suffering from post-traumatic. But..."

The medical team is gathered in one of several conference rooms as one member of the staff tasked to the Byers case reviews with the team, including Dr. Sam Owens. The man sighs in worry, his elbow is propped up on the wooden conference table and he massages his temples worriedly as the slide changes. It's another map of Will's brain, but there is an extra flurry of activity that frightens them all.

"this is Will from last night. And as you can see, there are now abnormalities I'm the limbic and paralimbic areas. And this..."

The man grows increasingly unsettled, and with great reluctance he advances the slide. Aside from a few select spots on the brain, the picture is enveloped in red. The Brian is drowning in the virus and there is more red than black.

"is from an hour ago."

Not a soul in room remains still, every lab coat shuffles uncomfortably. And suddenly the papers in their hands have become overwhelming captivating. Attempting to hide his own discomfort, Owens turns to his team and gestures around the table.

"I don't hear any suggestions."

A colleague of his looks up from his papers, though his fingers still nervously fiddle with the edges of the files.

"We have bigger problems than the boy."

"Do we?" The man snaps.

"We can't keep delaying the burn." Another adds.

Agitated, Owens leans forward, his palm smacking the table.

"You're talking about putting... putting a Band-Aid on this." He stutters.

The first man speaks up.

"Right now, a Band-Aid is the best option."

"It's our only option."

Owens looks around the room aghast at his colleagues. They merely stared back, silently taking a stance.

"And if it kills the boy?" Owens spits.

"Then quite frankly, Sam, it kills him."

Owens stills in anger and disgust and jabs a finger in the man's direction.

"Say that to me again." He threatens.

The doctor that stands by the projector reluctantly speaks up.

"The rate this is spreading, he'll be lost by the end of the day. What we do or don't do won't change the outcome."

"We have to start the burn." The other states.

Owens takes one last look at his team, his eyes hold nothing but disgust. Huffing, he grabs his things from the table and jumps to his feet and storms for the door.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to think." He spits.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"What the hell is taking so long?" Joyce sighs.

She and Bob sit side by side to the right of Will's bedside. Her leg bounces up and down at an almost unnatural rate and she nervously wrings her hands.

"Hey," Bob assures. "doctors take forever, always. Just try and relax. Just be patient."

He reaches forward, briefly rubbing her knee in an attempt to soothe her nerves however he can. Taking his words to heart, Joyce takes a lingering breath and she tries to calm the storm of nerves in her stomach. But with every passing second, her nerves return. With every beep of the monitor is a harsh reminder than another second has passed.

Finally, she sighs as she shrugs the blanket off her shoulders.

"You know, I just..."

She slips through the door and marches to the end of the hall. The two guards stationed in from of the closed double doors tense as she approaches with no intention of stopping.

"Let me through. Let me through!" She orders, struggling against their arms.

"You know we can't do that."

"I need to talk to--"

"He'll be with you shortly."

"You said that an hour ago!"

Bob soon joins her side and attempts to calm her, and across the hall staring through the door is Will. He lays perfectly still on the bed, and the heart monitor starts to race beside him. With every beep of the monitor, his vision fluctuates. He is seeing but not with his own eyes, he is a passenger in his own body and yet all he can focus on is the gun holstered in the guard's belt.

《•••》

The figure, who had been properly equipped, aimed his device and a violent spurt of fire erupted from the end.

《•••》

Anger. That's all he can feel.

《•••》

The vines writhed and shrieked violently as they shriveled up.

《•••》

Will.

《•••》

Will convulsed uncontrollably, his limbs on fire, spreading as rapidly as the flames in the hub below.

《•••》

Will.

《•••》

He saw the visions. Like he was navigating the dark and cold tunnels, they never stopped moving and he knew they were out to kill.

•••

Will was panting heavily, but he slowly turned around coming face to face with the monster. It towered over the school, looking directly at Will.

《•••》

"Will?"

A warm hand touches his arm and he falls back to earth. The spike in his heart echoes in the room with the speedy beeps of the heart monitor. He hadn't registered that Mike had been speaking to him, trying to reach him. He looks to the boy who is watching him concerned.

"What's wrong? Are you hurting again?" Mike asks.

"Uh..."

Will tries desperately to speak but the things he wants to say don't come. Instead, he feels the undeniable urge to sit up. He does so, and more words come to his brain but they are not what he truly wants to say. There is a wild, demanding itch in his brain that he must extinguish.

"I saw something."

The itch subsides.

Unsuspecting, Mike listens intently with worry.

"In your now-memories?"

Against his better judgment - the small, dying voice in the corner of his brain that grows small and smaller yet - he continues to scratch the itch and he nods and leans closer.

"The shadow monster." He whispers. "I think I know how to stop him.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

The sun has reached it's highest point when Dustin arrives at the familiar landscape of the old scrapyard, Steve by his side. He wears a proud grin as Steve gazes across the yard, nodding in agreement.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, this will do." Steve begins his descend down the small hill, shedding his sunglasses. "This will do just fine. Good call, dude."

His grin widens significantly, his chest welling in pride before he falls ik line with Steve. The two continue to sprinkle their bate trail behind them to the center of the yard. They dump the remanents of meat in a pile when they hear an approaching voice call out to them from the hill.

"I said medium-well!"

Dustin is relieved to see Lucas, he is beaming down at them as he sends them a wave. But his stomach plummets when he sees Max standing at his side. The two begin their descent down the hill and Steve wonders aloud.

"Who's that?"

He looks to Dustin when he doesn't answer, he sees the concerned and disbelieving glance he wears at the redhead. Suddenly, his mind clicks.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"You told her?" Dustin hisses.

Lucas and Dustin are huddled behind one of several abandoned vehicles exchanging hushed words. After proper introductions, Max and Steve have set to work and begun to build their base.

"So what?" Lucas says.

"'So what?'" Dustin laughs dryly.

"You wanted to tell her, too."

"But I didn't, all right? You know why?"

"You're chicken?" Lucas retorts.

Dustin rolls his eyes at Lucas's weak jab, and his anger only grows.

"Because not only does that put us, and Max for that matter, in danger, but Y/n especially! You know, my sister, the escaped experiment that the government lab could snatch up on any old whim? That sister?"

"They agreed to leave her alone, remember?"

"Like their word means shit! They faked Will's death to cover their own asses for fuck's sake. They don't exactly strike me as the caring, honorable type. Who's to say they won't ever change their minds and decide they want her back!"

Lucas shrinks back, regret flashes across his face as he takes in his words. He sighs.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, alright? I didn't think about it like that, but it's already done. And for what it's worth, I don't think she's gonna tell anyone."

"You don't know she won't tell, we just met her! What if she slips up? What if she's cornered and the information is forced out of her?"

It's Lucas's turn to roll his eyes, and he scoffs.

"Dude, you're spiraling. None of that's gonna happen."

Dustin sighs and shrugs his shoulders apathetically.

"Maybe I am and maybe it won't. The point is, we all agreed not to tell her and to look for Dart."

"Who you conveniently found."

"Are you suggesting that I'm lying?"

"I'm saying you have a creepy little bond with him."

"Yeah, that was before he turned into a Demogorgan."

"And you haven't heard from Y/n?"

Dustin's face scrunches up in anger at Lucas's mention of his sister.

"No."

"Or Mike?"

"No."

"Will?"

"No."

"Hopper?"

"No! No one is around. Why do you think I'm with Steve Harrington? Something's-"

"Wrong." Lucas finishes, sighing. "I agree. Which is why need as much help as we can get."

They both hear a soft grunt from across the yard and they rise to their feet and peek through the vacant window of the car. Max is piling several sheets of metal against the bus closing off weak spots underneath.

"She didn't believe me, anyway." Lucas says.

A small smirk forms on Dustin's face.

"You probably didn't tell it right."

They share a weak laugh and rise to face each other and Lucas extends his hand.

"So, we good?"

Dustin's eyes fall to his friend's hand and he smiles weakly.

"Hey!" A loud crash behind Dustin startles them and they turn to find Steve glaring at them."Dickheads! How come the only one helping me out is this random girl? We lose light in fourth minutes. Let's go."

They only stare at him as he retreats to the bus, reluctantly following. Steve gestures for them to move, his voice increasingly rising in anger.

"Let's go, I said!"

They pick up speed and each grumble a response.

"Alright, asshole!" Dustin snaps with a whine. "God!"

"Okay! Stupid."

+++

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[moneyshvt]

☆ . · . simay barlas, twenty-two, female, she / her . · . ☆ AYLA CLEARWATER lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for THE LARGE NATURAL STONE FOUNTAIN and that’ll be it. the SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHER has offered occasional glimpses of LIGHT GREEN walls and an impressive collection of EMPTY PICTURE FRAMES in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained CLEVER as ever since moving to tercet court one year ago, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more of NARCISSISTIC too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a FRIENDLY relationship with everyone else who lives on this street. ☆ . · . ooc info: ollie, they/them, 21, est . · . ☆

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

— she was adopted when she was just under two years old from turkey, so the clearwaters have always felt like her family to her. she knew the greater part of growing up that she was adopted, it just never was an issue for her. it was a fact, but it really wasn’t an important fact. she has no desire to try to find her birth parents or family, though she has visited turkey.

—  the clearwaters are a triple threat in sports : her grandfather retired mlb player and coach, her father a retired prominent defenseman in the nhl and current dartmouth men’s hockey coach, and her older brother ( 26 ) is making a splash in his third year in the nfl as a wide receiver.  however, her parents made sure she and her brother had a ( fairly ) average “middle class” bringing up, though they had their fair share of money in the bank. didn’t have to struggle, really, but didn’t get everything she wanted either. had a summer job scooping ice cream for two years in high school.

— grew up in norwich, vt, real big on nature and hiking and all that jazz and lowkey misses it in the heart of la.

— when she was ten she got one of those kid’s polaroid cameras ( u know the ones where the film is only a little bigger than a postage stamp ) and she was obsessed. she worked her way up through cameras over the years, having a natural eye for it.

— one of the first games she ever shot was one of her brother’s high school football games which sounds sweet but it was actually because she was so bored out of her mind and wanted something to do. needless to say, though, that was the start of it. some might say it was kind of inevitable she gravitated toward sports somehow — she was a clearwater at heart. since then she has gained a lot of knowledge and respect for all different kinds of sports.

— for college she was torn between dartmouth and nyu. she ultimately chose nyu because it was somewhere new.

— she went to nyu for advertising and photography, shooting various nyu sports teams while she was there and throughout her years, managed to shoot a few rangers, knicks, and yankees games as well. she held two summer internships with the yankees ( on her own merits or because of her family name, she may never truly know ) and ultimately graduated from nyu a year early.

— she then spent the better part of a year after graduation road tripping as you do and ended up in california. it’s all about who you know, and in picking up a favor for a friend in cali she stumbled into the perfect opportunity. from there she landed a role on the company that handles the photography for staples center and other notable teams, most notably the kings, lakers, and dodgers ( photography company based on this irl one ).

— she moved into tercet court not long after she knew she would be in la for much of the time being. it’s definitely not her house, considering she makes just enough to live on. it’s a family home, purchased initially by her father who’d wanted to sink some money into tangible assets instead of the stock market and to have a west-coast home available for the family. hey, worked out pretty well for her.

— she has predominately been tasked with shooting the kings the past year or so, though she started with shooting dodgers games last summer and is doing so this summer as well. she’s also shot a handful of lakers’ games when a friend needs someone to cover. three of her photos so far have been used in large ads and banners in the city ( including most recently her current MONEY SHOT of the game winning goal in a come back win ) --- very cool moment for her. several others have been used by local publications and websites.

— she does a little freelance work as well ; mostly for friends or friends of friends, though she’s been considering lately trying to make her skills and business available in a more professional manner. she does do a lot of photographing for herself --- a lot of candids ; she thinks they capture the true spirit of a person moreso than when they’re posing or prepared for a photo. but not in a creepy way --- she’s been the victim of the paps enough times by association with her family to know the correct boundaries and limits.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— lowkey loves playing games with the paps, though she’s probably the only one that finds it funny. as a photographer herself she has a good eye for where they’re hiding and will also snap photos of them in turn just for her own amusement.

— she hopes someday to be the team photographer for a team, hopefully in one of the “big four” ( nfl, nhl, nba, mlb )

— she played field hockey and lacrosse through high school.

— ayla thinks she’s better at shooting people. part of what she loves about being a sports photographer is how active and unpredictable it is to shoot a game. she’s had to learn a lot to try to predict what she can.

— very much a morning person. has never had a problem waking up in the morning. who’s jealous bc i am. goes for a run at sunrise, and has showered, gotten ready for the day, and is at a local cafe shop editing photos / making graphics and drinking an iced mocha by 8. truly couldn’t be me...

— so desperately wants to be that girl with tons of cute aesthetic plants in her apartment but tragically plants always die in her care no matter what she does. probably has gotten one of those tiny tabletop sand zen gardens to make herself feel better tho she still keeps trying with plants. so far the only ones that have lived any length of time are the air plants.

— she really wants a greyhound but is afraid to make the commitment to actually adopting one.

— her personal insta ( the non-sports one ) has a modest following. a few thousand, probs.

— she has struggled a bit with people who think her opportunities have only arisen because of her family pedigree ( which some have gone so far to tell her they’re “not her family” --- which, don’t even go there, lads... ), and that has made ayla work all that much harder to prove that she’d gotten where she has on her own merits.

— she has a rule ( and in the case of the nhl there is a rule enforced by a signed contract ) about not getting involved with anyone she shoots ; it’s considered a conflict of interest. i imagine she has a really good relationship with the players though --- probably doesn’t hurt that she is pretty. at least one of them have hired her to shoot their wedding this summer even though she is wildly under qualified.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

alya is a chill and laidback person at heart. her approach to the fame attached to her due to her father and brother has been to laugh it off good-naturedly. she’s generally well liked, with a hint of sass and humor. she comes across as a bit of an air-head at times, but that’s part due to a persona she put on from a young age. she has an observant eye that drew to her photography in the first place and will often allow her to draw certain conclusions about people. she’s well versed in all the sports she shoots, something that tends to surprise a lot of people, but how is she supposed to be good at her job if she isn’t ? if she gets bothered during games she typically shuts people down with wide eyes and some obscure bit of knowledge in her cute, raspy lil voice. dareisay... elle woods, what like it’s hard ? energy ??

a few of her downfalls include her narcissism and need to be liked. she looks to look and feel pretty, by her own standards, and is a queen of the self-timer and remote self photography : has two instas because of it -- one for her sports photography and one that’s a “personal” and mostly just pictures of herself. her need to be liked is something she doesn’t even realize. she likes to be seen in a positive light.

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

alya stands at 5′4″ with a slim but athletic build. her hair is naturally brown, but is dyed to have blonde highlights. she does not need glasses or contacts and has no tattoos.

she’s almost always wearing the same pair of beat up timberland’s she’s owned since freshman year of college. she likes to be able to move easily ( bc homegirl absolutely cannot walk in heels at all ). despite what the tabloids like to call her unfortunate choice in footwear, she likes to look cute, often pairing them with short, flowy sundresses or skirts + crop tops. when she shoots games, however, she’s dressed rather practically in skinny jeans, a crop top, and a cardigan. her hair is often kept down and loose, or in a messy bun.

𝐎𝐎𝐂

it me. ollie again. i also play fitz ( miguel bernardeau fc ). yes the overlap between fitz and ayla is not great but i truly only know one thing that that one thing is hockey asldfalsdjf sO. if y’all seeing me rping with myself on the dash bc i think it’d be fun to bounce fitz and ayla off each other mind ur own business...

[superman86to99]

Adventures of Superman #504 (September 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN! The three weakest Supermen team up to take on the most ridiculously overpowered one! Last issue ended with Superboy, the Man of Steel, and the long-haired Man in Black flying towards Coast City (or what used to be Coast City), and this one starts with... the same thing, because it's a long-ass trip. At least they use this time to ponder on important matters.

When they finally reach the Cyborg Superman's city-wide robo fortress, the Man in Black loots some giant guns and ammo from an alien mook. You know, just in case you forgot this comic came out in the '90s.

(Needs more pouches, though.)

While trying to hide from the 800 aliens shooting at them, the Super-Trio bump into a giant missile that's about to be launched into Metropolis. The Cyborg Superman wants to nuke the city and replace it with another giant engine, as part of his plan to turn the Earth into a massive evil spaceship (Warworld 2.0). While the Men (in Black and Steel) continue infiltrating the fortress, Superboy manages to latch on to the missile to try to stop it from reaching its destination. It's not an easy task, but after a Spider-Man #33-esque effort...

...the Kid manages to change the missile's trajectory, taking it away from Metropolis. He saved the city! And then the missile blows up anyway, right in his face. Good thing he wasn't wearing his cool jacket in these pages, because there's no way it could have survived that one. It remains to be seen if HE did.

Character-Watch:

OK, he did. I seriously feel like turning that missile is Superboy's "Spider-Man lifting the rubble" moment. He's trapped in an impossible situation and doubts himself, but then gets his shit together and pulls it off because he has no choice. It's interesting that Karl Kesel made the Kid particularly punny and vapid at the start of this issue, almost like he was daring us to be annoyed by him, only to level him up at the end. I bet a lot of Superboy haters were converted right here.

Plotline-Watch:

Superboy's Platonic Friend Tana Moon breaks down and cries on camera about Superboy's sacrifice, probably earning a juicy raise in the process.

When we get to Superboy #60 (the kickass “Hyper-Tension!” storyline), someone remind me to check my suspicion that the page with the big multiverse-crossing missile looks exactly like the page with the regular missile in this issue.

There’s a quick cameo by journalist Jack Ryder (secretly The Creeper) as a talking head on Lois Lane’s TV, alongside Superboy’s manager Rex Leech and one of the wacky Superman cultists who paint their face like the Cyborg. Look at this guy. He shaved his head but only painted the face part? Come on man, you either commit to it or you don’t!

In Engine City, Mongul gets snappy with the Cyborg Superman again, and again gets humiliated in front of everyone (Cyborg calls him a “dog”). Why do you do this to yourself? Dump him, girl!

A robot sniper almost headshots the Man in Black, only for some invisible force to yank his gun at the last moment. Hmmm. In unrelated news, Don Sparrow says: "Interesting note that Luthor II can’t find Supergirl -- I wonder where she is?" Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Don also points out: "The Man in Black asks if he can call John Henry ‘Steel’ because the Man of Steel is too much of a mouthful on their mission, setting up for his permanent name change." Steel should have said "OK, then I'll call you Black."

I'll stop cannibalizing Don's section and just hand the mic over to him. Click "read more" to keep reading!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We start with the cover, and it has a unique heritage.  This cover was sketched and laid out by Karl Kesel, penciled by Tom Grummett, and then inked by Doug Hazlewood, and it’s a good, accurate description of what we find in the issue—our three Supermen fighting their way into Engine City.  Added points for bringing up the pre-Crisis concept of the Superman Revenge Squad, which was actually a grouping of Superman rogues (an updated version would appear in a few years). Weirdly, editorial is still seeming to hide the Fabio-hair on Superman proper on the covers—I wonder what that’s about!

Inside the book we get our first look at a trait that defines this issue visually: grease-pencil clouds!

Max pointed this out to me when we were chatting about the issue, and I think he’s right—this book doesn’t look like it was inked in Hazlewood’s usual way.  It’s 1993, so it’s hard to imagine they could pull off “digital inking”, the practice of just darkening the pencils, but we see a pencil-like texture so often in this issue, a guy could begin to wonder if that’s maybe what they’re up to.  So for the whole issue, there is a slightly looser, rushed feel, especially in the backgrounds.  Then on the credits page, we notice a special thanks for Mark Heike—who google reveals to me is a comic artist in his own right.  Maybe he pitched in with some semi-credited inks? Smokey clouds aside, it’s another nice splash, with the returned Superman leading the charge.

A common critique of Tom Grummett’s Superman is that the way his face is drawn can look a little Conan-like, and the new long hair doesn’t help that, though in these early pages Superman is looking very on-model and handsome.

The fight (and flight) choreography as the Superman trio enters Engine City airspace is well done, and while it couldn’t be more 90s if it tried, the image of Superman double-fisting blasters and ammo belts is pretty awesome, I must say. Plus, Superboy’s assessment that it’s “slammin’” might replace Robin’s “totally rad!” as a new catch-phrase in these reviews.

The reveal of the giant rocket has a great sense of scale (and is another example of pencil-like lines still popping up on finished art).  Great sound effect there, too.

As Superboy heroically climbs up the rocket, Tom and co give a great sense of the speed, and g-forces the kid is experiencing.  And there is such a great sense of drama in these last pages, as the celebrations for the missile having missed Metropolis quickly turn to grief, as Superboy is for sure, definitely dead. [Max: Forever.]

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

Interesting to hear Steel use the phrase “a bursting shell” in relation to piercing Superman’s skin, a callback to Action #1’s description of Superman’s invulnerability, which apparently was known in-universe as well.

I love how unequivocally “Superman” they write the Man in Black in these pages.  On his first day back to civilization, he’s already saying he’d gladly die again in order to stop Warworld from taking over Earth.  Goosebumps, man!

Does Kesel have dogs on the brain?  First Henshaw calls Mongul a dog (ouch) and then just one panel later, Superboy makes his Dalmatian joke. (Note: Dalmatian is actually misspelled in the comic!) [Max: “Dalmation” does sound like some sort of Jack Kirby thing. Maybe it’s something the Kid saw at Cadmus?]

Superboy is pretty much a non-stop joke machine in these pages, as just about every panel he’s in, he’s cracking wise, so it’s hard to highlight all of them.  Some are better than others—I get that hearing the phrase “full frontal” puts Michelle Pfeiffer into his head, but “full frontal assault” just isn’t sexy. [Max: You know, 26 years later, I JUST got that one.]

GODWATCH: Steel invokes “God” when he thinks Superboy might have been burnt up in the rocket launch, and then a page later, Superman does the same when he sees the charred corpses of Henshaw’s minions. [Max: Also, I don’t think I caught the significance of John Henry’s “I know” as a kid.]

I love Superboy’s self-talk as he climbs the missile, particularly the Caddyshack-like “crowd goes wild”.  This is exactly how a kid his age would act in that crazy moment.

Lois and Clark was airing in this period, so Perry White is legally required to use Lane Smith’s “Great Shades of Elvis” catchphrase. [Max: Unfortunately they don’t have the rights anymore, so they had to change it for the collected edition...]

[okimargarvez]

FEW HOURS IN LUKE ALVEZ’S MIND - 2

Original title: Few hours in Luke Alvez’s mind.

Prompt: Luke’ POV, memory of war.

Warning: quote of 12x1.

Genre: comedy, family, angst, friendship.

Characters: Luke Alvez, Penelope Garcia, BAU team.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot.

Legend: 🔦🐶.

Song mentioned: none.

Few hours in Luke Alvez’s mind- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

Part 2

I spend the whole weekend immersed in sheets, photographs and damn memories. Most of the data held by BAU on Cullen doesn’t tell me anything new, nothing I didn’t already know. After all, it was I who caught him on the fact and brought him to justice. I even read my report, written a few hours later. It doesn’t even seem so obvious that I was in a state of shock at that time.

Roxy tries to distract me anyway, but this time neither she can help me.

That's why when I finally hear the sound that announces that it's Monday, I get up almost joyfully, I collect everything, throw it in my bag and I almost seems to be lighter, when the plane begins the take-off phase.

This time I am not fascinated by the size of the building, nor by the number of offices, doors and stairs that go in every direction. However, without knowing why, I contradict what I had said last time and decide to entrust myself to the elevator. When the doors open, what my eyes see is an intense stain of pink, white, blue and obviously yellow. Even Penelope notices my presence, because she turns her head slightly in the opposite direction to mine. Is she not happy to see me, or maybe she has some problem?

-Hey.- it comes out with a low and almost whispered tone. With her distant way of doing, she manages to put me in awe and almost in embarassament. What a ridiculous thing! She almost seems to swallow in returning my greeting, lowering and raising her head quickly in a military gesture.

-Good morning.- once again the tone is flat, aseptic. After a moment of sighs, I decide to throw myself. Perhaps she behaves like this only because we don’t know each other well yet. And I intend to immediately remedy it.

-How... how was your weekend?- I dare to look at her, hinting a smile, but the blonde is still statuesque, impassive and looks not interested to reciprocate or even just to consider me. I finally give up, looking back at the elevator doors. The journey is looking a lot longer than the other time.

-I don’t really discuss my personal life with my co-workers.- she decides at the end to say, with a way of doing as if telling an obviousness and only my being a stranger to her team, makes me so stupid that I don't know already. But her voice is so serious and hard that I find myself again intent on staring at her, nodding unconsciously.

-Really?- I sound a little too incredulous, with my tone, but how can I think she is telling the truth, after seeing how she behaves with Reid?

For the first time, she looks at me, but it is only a moment and I don’t even have time to cross her eyes. -I keep it real a low profile, here.- and the fact that she added this adverb of place as a specification, inevitably pushes me to ask myself in which other places she behaves differently. But it's none of my business. Although that opinionated air pushes me in the opposite direction, to investigate lands that will surely turn into quicksand. While I'm thinking about what to say, she starts again to talk. -If you must know, I hung out with my boyfriend- while she makes her proclamation she turns voluntarily towards me, and I do the same -who is super hot, and awesome and totally in love with me.- every detail that she adds to the dose increases but paradoxically makes her speech seem even more unjustified. She raises her eyebrows and seems to want to provoke me. And I accept the challenge, amused by her attempts to look cold and by the desire to keep me at a distance anyway.

-That’s cool.- she stops looking at me, I don’t. I smile in a rather incredulous way, that if she turned towards me, she could be mistaken for a joke towards her. Not knowing how to get out, I shoot the first bullshit that runs through my head. -You guys go out, or ...?- I scrutinize her reaction from the corner of my eye.

-No. We stayed in and he helped me with some fingering techniques.- she announces, relaxed, then, realizing the shocked way in which I am looking at her, she hurries to add details that clarify what she really meant. -For my clarinet, which I practice and he helps me.- but now the mind has started towards unknown shores. And her attempts to make the double meaning less apparent, her embarrassment, and the way she is passionate about defending her cause, her red cheeks, make it all funnier. -And this conversation is making me uncomfortable.- I nod, aware I still have the serial maniac look on my face. She hears a beep, looks down at the phone -And I’m sorry, I must go, Agent Hotchner needs me.- she tries to show herself professional and a moment later she is saved from the elevator opening, but her voice it is too acute (and perhaps partly even pained) because the effect she hopes can work.

I don’t know why, I cry out: -Uh, I made lasagna.- perhaps to continue our challenge that ended with my victory by abandonment by the adversary.

And without looking back, stiff, she responds with a dry -I do not care.- resigned, shaking my head, I decide to finally come out of the elevator in my turn.

 -A Tempe, in Arizona, was found a guy who wandered aimlessly, with an object around his neck... a weird object...- the photograph shows what looks like a shaft with the space to insert the wrists and a kind of collar, which in part makes the victim seem crucified -... but above all he had these signs on the body.- this is instead a human chest and there are only three letters incised: BAU.

-He definitely wants to get our attention... and it's working.- JJ expresses her opinion for the first time since the meeting began. A fist bangs on the table. I realize that it was Hotcher, the big boss who seemed so calm.

-It's a provocation!- Rossi exchanges a look with the blonde sitting next to him, there seems to be something I don’t know, but who doesn’t even know Tara.

-Wheels' up in twenty minutes.- and said that, Hotch stands up and leaves the room, very nervous.

Fortunately, Rossi had hinted at the possibility of having to leave Quantico suddenly, so I have with me a bag perfectly suited to the occasion, with everything I need. The only thing I regret is not to have alerted Roxy, but I can call Jessica to go and keep her company.

 The jet is not quite as I had imagined it. It's definitely better. Equipped with all the comforts. Everyone sits down, they seem to have almost permanent seats. We don’t have such resources at the task force. I try not to be too amazed. I find my place and start to reread the file for the umpteenth time. Now new sheets have been added concerning the case of this boy found in the desert.

Spencer's exclamation, sitting right in front of me, attracts my attention. -Off of bubble gum?- I ask incredulously. -For real?- it seems strange enough to me, but apparently it's not.

-We've seen the use of aerosolized drugs before.- Spencer begins to explain in the tone of a professor. The others raise their eyes to the sky, JJ chuckles. -One called scopolamine puts you in a catatonic state. The other, sevoflurane, is used during dental surgery. It puts you in a suggestible, almost hypnotic trance.- too many complex terms, even if I understand where her wants to go. I did chemical studies before joining the rangers. But I'm a bit rusty.

-And because it's used in dental surgery, it tastes and smells like bubble gum..- the blonde who sits next to him continues in his place. I nod, not completely convinced.

Rossi draws a picture from the file and shows it to me: -And that's why we think the unsub is this guy.- he says with a decisive tone. It doesn’t take long to recognize him.

-Mr. Scratch. Peter Lewis. He was one of the key players in the breakout.- I say aloud. It is certainly not for him that I am willing to move temporarily to Quantico. I want to take that bastard to catch Cullen.

Rossi seems to have read my mind. -Looks like you get to hunt a fugitive after all, just not the one you thought.- it also seems to ask me without saying it explicitly, if I'm still willing to help them, even if the monster we have to chase is not what I wanted. A moment of silence. I can feel everyone's eyes on me. I sigh.

-But I'm bumping on two things.- I start to list. -Number one Peter Lewis should be doing everything he can to stay hidden.- I don’t wait much to do the other And number two If he's going to surface again, why would he copy another guy's style?- that of the Crimson King, who led me to be on this jet now.

-He obviously has some agenda that's not clear to us yet. But we need to consider a more pressing problem. Peter Lewis is a math genius. Which means he plans for every variable.- I hadn’t thought about that. In Dr. Reid's tone there is almost a kind of... admiration is perhaps not the most correct term, but respect, in considering that the enemy is an intelligent person and therefore more dangerous.

- Why is that more pressing? Every serial killer thinks that.- the oldest has the courage to say. But the young man doesn’t intend to surrender.

- Yeah, but most of them operate out of compulsion and he doesn't.

He would stress test all permutations of his plan before reappearing, most likely on other victims.- fantastic perspective, to imagine that outside there are bodies (unless they were devoured by the creatures that populate these areas) of unfortunate people stumbled on one of the many, crazy insane murders that it's around.

- You think we're missing someone.- JJ rightly concludes.

- He wouldn't release Brian unless he knew we couldn't catch him.- it is the final gloss, before the computer screen, positioned so that everyone can have a correct view, it turns on (as well as all the others scattered around 'airplane) and enlighten with the figure of Penelope in the foreground, behind her other electronic devices and various confused as a background.

-Here I am. The paragon of professionalism.- she says. Why do I think that if I had not been here, on the other side of the screen, she would never have said a similar joke, which reminds me so much of the one she exchanged with me, warning me that she kept a low profile here?

- Garcia, have there been any suspicious murders in the Tempe-Phoenix area after Brian?- Rossi asks, ignoring any other question. Her eyes are not seeing us, but thousands of data. I can imagine it.

-Outside of the usual drug and domestic abuse violence, no.- is her response.

-Controll the reports of 911, complaints of people disappears, psychotic episodes, delusions.- lists JJ. The other blonde nods.

-Check 911 records, any missing persons reports, psychotic episodes, delusions.- Rossi adds.

I'm gonna check the prank phone call bin to be sure…- she interrupts the joke. The expression becomes serious and almost frightened. And it is transmitted to everyone present.

-What is it?- Spencer is the first to find the courage to ask.

-I've got a call here about a Jennifer Jareau that caller listed the address as 54321 Rossi Avenue.- fabulous.

-Wow, this guy is really baiting us, isn't he?- anger is painted very clearly on JJ's face.

-Ok, it came from a burner phone, but they left the GPS on. I'm sending you the address now.- I find it admirable that even in such a moment of great confusion, with one of the worst unfortunately again in circulation, which has directly attacked her team, she manages to keep her cool enough to be really professional. That's why all those rumors about her skill and the fact that the CIA didn’t allow her to access their files.

Rossi shakes his head -No, send it to Hotch and Tara. But let them know that Peter Lewis left the breadcrumbs on purpose. They could be walking into a trap.- he warns. The IT nods and the screen turns off.

 Sometime later we land and take a car, we reach the police headquarters. After pleasantries to which they all seem accustomed (except me), we are given a room with a little blackboard, pins, maps and a table with chairs to gather. Everyone reflects on his own, rereading the documents, Spencer scribbling something incomprehensible. When I start to open my mouth and ask for it, Rossi glances at me as if to say to let it go.

Finally, the young doctor decides to externalize his thoughts. -D.I.D. is a difficult disorder to treat, but it's even more difficult for a third party to control. To succeed with this kind of experimentation, he would have had multiple failures. We are seeing that.- he seems to be too expert on topics of this kind. And this makes me think that it can have a much more direct experience than I can imagine seeing him from outside. Not that I think it's him, crazy. But someone close to him must suffer from some kind of mental illness, because the degrees can give you the knowledge, but don’t give that tone so sure. Science is after all empirical.

-Brian survived the torture, and Chelsea's mind snapped from it.- JJ adds after a moment of silence.

I feel like taking the word for the first time. -It begs the question, though... Why didn't Brian go crazy?- it’s that we are all wondering. But we still haven’t found an answer.

TAGS:  @arses21434 @kathy5654 @martinab26 @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @thinitta   @garvezz  @shyladystudentfan @cosmicmelaninflower @kiki-krakatoa  @pegasus-scifichick  @ leftlamphumanfestival @inlovewithgarvaz @thatnerdygirljudy

[constantlyirksome]

Review: All Good Things Must Come to an Endgame. (major spoilers.)

Capping off phase three of the Marvel cinematic universe was always going to be a monumental task. It had to be a film that worked both as a sequel to Infinity War, while also tying together buckets of plot and development from over twenty movies over the last decade. The Russo brothers had to juggle actors contracts being up, coming up with a believable fix to The Snap, while subtly hinting at what might come next for phase four. For the most part they managed to create a thrilling, satisfying movie that had me cheering in my seats, but definitely had me thinking about certain (mostly inconsequential) details that didn’t feel quite right.

Review under the cut.

The Time Heist.

We knew that somehow, no matter what, the remaining heroes from Infinity war would find a way to get everyone back. It’d be a crap end to the franchise if they didn’t, and also confusing considering there are movies planned that depend on certain characters, you know… existing. Time travel was the prevailing theory for a lot of people, and it makes the most sense. Still, the way that idea was used, to go back to key times in MCU that were both infinity stone locations, and places were each character could grow and reflect on the past was beautiful. And it was entertaining as an audience member seeing characters that have grown so much over the years encounter younger, stupider versions of themselves (looking at you Starlord.) The heavy emphasis on the original avengers film in 2012 was important; as that was arguably the first movie that proved a shared cinematic universe could work. As the present day Scott, Tony, Steve and Bruce scurry around the 2012 battle of New York we get a look back at the original six heroes kicking ass, as well as a sneaky view into what happened after. The way they all just took the tesseract, scepter and time stone felt very easy but was enjoyable nonetheless. In fact, the collection of all the stones, barring the soul stone guarded by Red Skull were all collected incredibly easily, so the focus was more on nostalgia than a complicated heist plot.

(A highlight was definitely Tony perving on “America’s ass”.)

Not All Hero Arcs were Created Equal.

With the destruction of half all living things the movie was able to zero in on a smaller core cast, and luckily the first six Avengers, the people who have been on the journey the longest, it was a final chance to give them a thoughtful, meaningful farewell. With the addition of Rocket, Rhodey, Nebula and to a lesser extend Carol (more on that in a bit) the original cast were able to close out their storylines. Some of these were more successful, Hawkeye getting his family back, or Bruce finding a balance between beast and man were nice. The Hulk thing was strange and could be written off as a joke, it’s hard to take Bruce or the Hulk seriously as the weird mash-up they ended up as.

Some of the storylines ended, in my opinion, kind of sourly. As soon as Hawkeye and Black Widow rocked up to the soul stone planet, you knew one of them was doomed. Scarlett Johansson rose to the occasion in a big way, as she sometimes falls flat. First as the tired warrior trying to hold down the Avengers after the snap, which was a cool evolution to a character who used to be a loner, then as the sacrificial lamb. It was a truly heartbreaking thing to watch Clint and Nat try to save each other, a final ode to their relationship, which was one of the best in the MCU. When Clint returned to the present without her it felt heavy, so I was frustrated she didn’t get as great a send-off or the same emotional response that the other major death got.

Thor’s fate is already one of the most contentious outcomes on the internet. I hate that basically any development made during Thor Ragnarok has been undone, I wish that the Russo’s had been more faithful to the ideas Taika Waititi and Chris Hemsworth made. But I do believe his current state, as a drunk, overweight recluse, isn’t totally out of the realm of possibility. He did lose everything and blamed himself for The Snap, so to want to spiral, to break down and lose hope, isn’t beyond possibility. The weight gain could be seen as just a punch line, (making fun of people who gain weight isn’t funny or cool) but it’s also a conscious step away from “perfect man, perfect body angel pirate” thing. He still got to play around with Meek and Korg, which was great. I do not believe for a second he would just leave New Asgard and the people he fought so hard to join the Guardians. That’s dumb, but when an actor wants to put a character to rest concessions have to be made. The big issue will be explaining his absence if he’s not in Guardians 3. (He could and should replace Chris Pratt.)

Tony and Steve, Captain America and Iron Man, were always going to be the two characters with the grandest ending narratives. They have led and been the leaders of most movies. They got, in my opinion, very suitable and bittersweet endings. Cap has fought and fought, slowly inching away from the patriot of the 1940s, to see him go back and get the ending he was robbed of when he went into the ice was really nice. The rules of fictional time-travel, not just in Back to the Future, say he shouldn’t have been able to do this. To totally change his past things would change in the future but whatever. Would he leave all the friends he’s made the last decade, to revert back to a more difficult time? That’s for the message boards to debate. He got a happy ending, which is fitting.

Tony Stark has had one of the best character arcs in movie history. From “the merchant of death,” to a hero who was still an emotionally stunted lone wolf, to a team leader who has tried to sacrifice himself at least once in every movie he’s been in. The hero that started the entire franchise in a cave with a box of scraps. He sort of got his happy ending and then didn’t. He got to spend four years happy with a family which is what a lot of people wanted for him. But in the end, it was him that made the ultimate sacrifice. There’s the idea that to have a character suffer for so long to only die at the end isn’t entertainment. But it was fitting, it was emotional and it was beautiful. He had the strength to do his own snap, and then he got to be with his wife, his best friends and his adoptive son Peter one last time. (I thought I couldn’t cry harder than when Peter turned to dust, but the sequel hurt, where the two roles were reversed, way more.) Robert Downey Jr's work, his acting in not just those final scenes but in the whole movie was a master class. Hopefully, Peter and the rest of the world will be able to move on… But I doubt it.

Thanos in Infinity War said to Strange during their first battle “You never used your greatest weapon” which back then was the time stone, but this time it was Captain Marvel. The excuse that she was in space explained why she never helped the Avengers before pretty well but to use that again to explain how little she was in Endgame was a cop-out. The first ten minutes, where they fight Thanos the first time and she put him in a chokehold was so satisfying. The second time when she took the full brunt of a head-butt and not flinch was even cooler. Imagine if she’d had the opportunity to travel to 2012 or even to go collect the power stone. I understand that she has solo sequels pretty much assured, but she definitely should have been in Endgame so much more… and her haircut made her look like Hillary Clinton.

The next generation, Valkyrie, Wanda, Carol, Sam and Bucky all have bright futures, and I think it’ll be very exciting when Disney releases television shows starring some of them.

Fight!

Finally, I wanted to mention how perfect, how epic, how breathtaking that final fight was. Starting with the big three against a no gauntlet Thanos, that almost would have been enough. We got the fan service of Captain America holding you know what, Thor fighting with long hair again. But when Thanos’ army comes over the hill, and then Doctor Strange opes up a hundred portals I screamed. Why neither of these armies showed up in Infinity War is a mystery but it was beautiful all the same. And that sequence, all the female heroes of the last decade (Including Pepper in some dope blue armor) lining up and going ham on their enemies was my favorite part of the movie hands down.

Final Verdict

So the overall feeling as I left the theatre was lots of excitement, and that the journey that the movies and the audience had been following for so, so long had come to a pretty satisfying conclusion. Any problems audiences may have so far seem to be subjective, and could be debated, about Caps goodbye, Thor’s weight, or whatever else. Endgame did an amazing job of celebrating the old movies, and was full of amazing action and fight sequences and left the door open to the possibilities for more movies with some fan favorites.

[teddyylou]

Klangst Week: Day 1 - Unrequited

Keith rested his bruised and sore arm on the back of his chair, watching the dented and dirty armor sink into the soft material.

He leaned on it slightly, bending over in order to catch his breath. He shut his tired eyes for a few moments as he listened to his heartbeat slowly return to normal.

He had pushed himself really hard on that mission; too hard perhaps, Pidge had even pointed out that Keith had probably broken a record with the amount of Century’s he had defeated.

Pidge was sweet and all, but she wasn’t the person he had hoped would notice.

“Shiro! You were amazing! The way you blew up that ship with your lion before it could shoot down that village. We couldn’t have saved that planet without you.” Lance gushed to their leader.

Keith watched on angrily as Lance swooned over the black paladin.

“Umm… thanks, Lance. We all helped.” Shiro replied, seeming only half interested in what the Cuban had to say.

Keith scrunched the hand that was on his chair into a fist, gritting his teeth. Why did he even try with Shiro? Why couldn’t he see that Shiro wasn’t interested?

But he was. Oh, boy, Keith was. Why couldn’t lance be swooning over him instead? At least Keith would give him the time of day.

He looked back over to the pair now; lance still hovering over Shiro and admiring his every move, not even trying to be subtle. Shiro wasn’t even looking at the blue paladin.

“Hey, Shiro! You have to teach me how you did that thing with-”

“Princess.” Shiro cut Lance off unintentionally as the Altean Princess entered the controls room.

‘Shiro probably didn’t even know that Lance was talking in the first place…’ Thought Keith.

“Good work today everyone, you were extraordinary as a team! I’m so delighted that the team bonding exercises have been paying off!”

Keith noticed how Shiro’s posture changed as Allura spoke. While Lance spoke, Shiro was bent over his control panel focusing on the screen, not even facing the boy. Now he stood straight, giving full attention to the princess, hands held shyly behind his back.

“How did I do Allura?” He asked bashfully. The red paladin had never seen his leader so awkward and unconfident.

“Amazing!” Lance yelled from behind them.

“You did your job successfully Shiro, so good.” It was only a half-hearted answer but Shiro’s face lighted up at the mediocre comment. Lance looked taken back a bit at this. His smile turned to a hurt frown as he watched the others talk.

Keith thought he had gotten the message from Shiro, but as soon as Lance began butting in on Shiro and Allura’s conversation again, Keith decided that he had had enough.

He couldn’t stand watching Lance act like that, or be treated the way he was, for that matter.

He let out a loud exasperated sigh and stormed off past the other two tired paladins resting on the couch.

As he huffed past them, they made comments out loud about him, as if he couldn’t hear them.

“What’s wrong with Keith?” Hunk asked the group as Pidge fixed her glasses while staring lasers into the back of Keith’s head.

For the first time since getting back from the mission, Lance actually looked up and acknowledged Keith at all.

‘Finally’ Keith muttered to himself.

“Ha! Probably angry that he wasn’t the star of the mission; Right Shiro!” He laughed obnoxiously.

“Uh, yeah sure lance.” Sighed Shiro, quickly before turning back to watch what the princess was doing.

‘Shouldn’t have asked.

__________

“Okay, team! This mission is a big one and we are going to need some supplies.” Announced Shiro. “Pidge and Hunk, I need you to wormhole through to the Xynos Nebula to collect more of those particles that generate the laser guns we found on that asteroid last week. Allura and I will stay with Coran and Slav to work out our battle plan. This leaves Keith and Lance with the modified pod to go down and scope the imprisoned planet undetected.”

Finally, he got to go somewhere with Lance. They had to report back to the base and all, but maybe on the way there they could talk and maybe Lance would like him more. Keith was admittedly bad a socializing, but who could blame him, sometimes he sounded rude and he wasn’t good at conversations, but he would 100% listen to lance ramble on in his beautiful voice for hours if Lance would even bother.

“Awww, why do I have to go with him!” Lance complained, pointing a thumb in his direction.

And the image in Keith’s head of the two finally getting somewhere with their friendship vanished as soon as those words were uttered.

‘What did I even do to make him hate me so much?’ He thought trying to keep a straight face as he pretended to listen. Most people think he is hotheaded and impulsive, but really most of the mission prep is spent looking at Lance or wondering why Lance hates him and he just… misses the instructions. He hopes he was hiding the hurt on his face well enough.

“You are the only ones left and you are the best pilots, I trust that you can report back to us.” Replied Shiro.

“No, I don’t wanna be stuck in that tiny pod with mullet over there! I think that my brilliant mind should stay here with you and work on the plan.” He argued.

“You’re going with Keith.”

“No”

‘Again with everyone pretending that I’m not right in front of them.”

Shiro placed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Fine whatever. Allura, what do you think?”

‘Predictable’ snicked Keith to himself.

__________

So this is how Keith ended up in a small pod, sitting through an unending brutal silence with a person who hated every Galra to her core. She suggested taking Lances spot, but he was adamant in helping Shiro, thus landing them in this situation.

The task went sort of well. Keith piloted and Allura wouldn’t speak to him so he didn’t have to worry about a back seat driver. He followed Shiro’s coordinates and Allura reported back what she saw. They were back in record time.

When they got back into the controls room, lance was almost bouncing off the walls at the small amount of attention he was being given. When Shiro complemented and idea or had his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Good job you guys, we got all we needed to form our plan. You work really well together.” Shiro amended, more so that Allura would maybe be a little nicer to Keith.

“Sure, whatever.” She muttered.

Keith looked back over to Lance. He was truly beautiful. His smile, even if it was directed at Shiro; his laugh, his (presumably) soft hair and perfect tan skin. Damn Keith even liked his stupid jokes.

He didn’t even hide the fact that he likes Lance from himself. Pidge and Hunk had already guessed too and he thinks Shiro was catching on.

Why did Lance hate him so much? Keith could feel a burning sensation in his chest and throat, he knew what this was all too well. He was never good at dealing with emotions and everything with Lance was just building up. He adored the Cuban who didn’t even want to go in the same pod together for a mission. And Lance was head over heals for someone who had feelings for someone else and never gave him enough attention.

Keith knew that he would. He would give every second of every day to Lance. But lance hated him, and he was starting to hate himself too because of it.

__________

Almost a week had gone by since that mission. Keith had spent less time with the group than before; he just couldn’t handle seeing Lance. In fact, Lance was probably enjoying not having him around.

He thought that someone would notice that he was missing a lot, but the only one who would really care that much was Shiro and they saw each other every day when they got up early to train. They acted normal and talked like normal.

Then Shiro would leave probably thinking that Keith would do the same. Little did he know that Keith barely left the training deck anymore.

Just before dinner every day they had a group training session, everyone just thought that Keith had come early. Technically that was true, he just hadn’t left since that morning.

He sliced through drone after drone while he watched Lance sit on the sidelines ogling at Shiro’s muscles as he worked out.

Keith let out a physical cry of rage as he took the heads off three more robots.

“HA!, Geez Mullet calm down, it’s just training!” Lance yelled out to him. His face flushed with embarrassment as he looked back at the robot’s he had destroyed.

“I, I um-” He Tried to speak.

“Hey, Shiro…”Lance piped up again, and Keith was back to not listening.

He was so tired. Everything ached, but he couldn’t stop working out, he needed the distraction.

He squirted water into his mouth as he rested his arm on the cool wall of the training deck. He buried his head into it and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

‘Why do I have to be like this!’ He yelled in his head.

‘Why do I have to like him so much!”

He accidently let a small cry escape his lips but quickly sealed them shut as he snapped back into reality, hoping that no one noticed.

“You need to stop.” Said a small but stern voice from behind his.

Keith’s eyes widened as he whipped around off the wall to face Pidge.

“What do you mean? Stop what?” He laughed awkwardly.

“You know what I mean. This much training is bad for you. Don’t think I don;t notice. I didn’t think you would listen to me anyway, but it’s getting worse. I know what you are trying to do. You are attempting to distract yourself. Please just find other ways to do this. I’m worried about you.”

She spilled out, you could hear the concern littering her voice.

“Aww Pidge that sweet, but I’m fine.” He laughed again.

“Please Keith. At least come to dinner. Training is almost done, we can go up early.”

Keith sighed, “I’m not hungry.” was all he said before leaving the room and going back to his own.

As soon as he was back in his room he flopped onto his bed, let everything that he was holding inside of his for the past week spill. He was so angry and hurt. He hated himself and he just needed to get everything out. He didn’t even think about anyone hearing him anymore. Everyone was all really happy without him, up at dinner right now laughing and celebrating a good session. Eventually, Keith cried himself to sleep.

__________

Things finally began to look up for Keith on their next mission. He got paired with Lance again and Shiro was not in the mood for bargaining today.

They set out in Lance’s Lion to collect some rare ore or something that Keith didn’t hear.

Maybe today was they day he could try and talk to Lance.

“You and your lion seem to be pretty in sync hey.” Keith instantly regretted saying as he cringed at his choice of sentence.

‘What are you even thinking?’ He mentally face palmed.

“Yeah she is fast, hopefully, this will go quickly.” was all Lance replied with. He was so much quieter than usual, Keith noted, did he really hate his that much?

“Um… yeah” Keith stuttered, hoping that Lance would say something else. Thank God Lance talked so much that even when he was being quiet it was still enough to fill a silence.

“I mean, why didn’t Shiro let me stay with him again, we work so well together.”

Keith hummed in agreement. It was a start.

“But, like, I don’t really mind, Shiro is busy and he can’t always think everything out, Right? I mean, he does it so well cause he is amazing but, he is still human. Well unless you count that sick Galra robot arm.” Lance shot out.

“Can we please not talk about Shiro!” Keith basically yelled out before realizing that the look on Lance’s face said that that wasn’t in his head like it was supposed to be.

“Um, um, I m-mean.”

“What’s wrong with Shiro?” Lance questioned.

“Nothing nothing…” there was a brief silence “… you do know he isn’t interested in you in ‘that way’ right?” Said Keith.

“Umm… yeah!” Said Lance in a tone that made it sound like Keith had pointed out that the ship that they were in looked like a lion.

“Why would he be.” Lance choked out disguised in a laugh.

“Let’s just say, you’re not very subtle,” Keith said flatly.

“Yeah well, you’re just jealous!” Lance snapped.

“Of…”

“Shiro and I’s friendship.”

“What are you talking about. We are like brothers, Shiro barely talks to you.”

“Yes, he does.”

“When?”

“A LOT, thank you very much!”

Keith let out another exasperated groan in annoyance.

He started yelling before he could even stop himself and register what was happening.

“WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT SHIRO LIKES ALLURA! HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLIND, WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I-”

“That you what?” Lance snapped.

“Agh, nevermind, I’m leaving.”

“How! We’re in the middle of space.”

“Red’ll get me.” He sighed.

Lance didn’t even try to stop him.

__________

Usually, when Keith was upset he would train, but he just didn’t have any energy left in him so he decided to go and sit in the Holodeck and space out for a while watching the stars and planets.

He sighed as he laid back on the tiled floor.

He had never lost it like that at Lance. So much for a friendship.

Keith didn’t even realize that he was crying until a tear rolled off the side of his face into his ear.

He just let them fall as he thought about Lance.

“Hey, are you okay?” He heard a familiar deep voice whisper.

“Yeah Shiro, I’m fine.” He wiped the tears off of his face.

“Come on, I don’t want to see my brother sad.” He tried to joke, still saying a good distance away from the teen on the floor.

“You heard all that, huh?” Keith said swallowing that lump that was gathering in his throat.

“Yeah, man, I didn’t know that I was that obvious around Allura.” He laughed.

Keith couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth at hearing that. He sat up and Shiro took a seat next to him.

“Well, you are.” Keith smiled smugly. “Thanks, Shiro.” He added seriously.

“Anytime, I just want to make sure that you are fine. You have been training a lot, missing meals, what was it you were about to say to Lance before you cut yourself off but the way. If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Oh um… well, you see… I, I kind of… Li-like him. Lance. I like Lance.”

Keith stuttered.

“Bit late to the party there Keith we all figured it out. Well, Pidge told me cause she was worried about you.”

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. Lance hates my guts.” Keith said as the tears welled up in his eyes again.

“Hey,” Shiro comforted “That’s not true.”

“Yes IT IS” he cried harder “he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me! What did I even do to make him hate me! Why can’t he see that I like him? I- I LOVE HIM!”

Keith was a mess, sobbing and sniffling. Shiro engulfed him in a massive hug. “It’s okay Keith. There is no point thinking about it when you are this tired, you’ll only upset yourself more. Cover your face and I’ll walk you to your room, get some sleep, I’ll bring you food so that you don’t have to join us if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks, Shiro.”

____________

That night Keith laid on top of his blankets, staring at the roof, he could feel the hard object that was his blade under his pillow. It was pitch black in his room and he was far off sleeping.

All he could think about was Lance.

He was ready to give up on sleep when he heard a knock at the door.

Without moving, Keith yelled out. “Who is it?” Knowing that it was probably Shiro.

But boy was he wrong.

“Why didn’t you tell me!”