#harrison tries to give him the oscar

[tooktheladdedgbtq]

....and the Oscar goes to.. | Tom Holland X Male!actor reader. 

A/N: this was just something I wrote because I got inspired I guess. Happy Pride everyone!

——————————————

You couldn’t decide whether time was slipping through your fingers too quickly or if this had been the longest night you’d ever experienced.

seconds slowed to a crawl while you tried to gather yourself before it was your turn to take the stage. You were nervous. Not about being at the oscars or presenting for the first time. Not even about being nominated for your leading role in the second installment of a critically acclaimed trilogy. No, you’d been used to these sorts of things, you’d been an actor since you were a very young kid. Starting on television before film, and you even got to hold the Emmy the show had won when you had just turned a teenager.

No, you were nervous about who exactly you’d be presenting to. Of the five nominees and potential winners, only one could cause such an intensive feeling in your chest. Only one could awaken a sense of dread that battled with a feeling of intensive happiness mixed with anticipation, and it was Tom.

You’d known each other for years and had come to fall in love. You’d met as young co-stars on set and eventually grew into an inseparable friendship that progressed into something far more. Neither of you were sure when the feelings started but it felt like they’d always been there and you weren’t exactly complaining.

Your blissfulness with Tom was beautiful but short lived. After almost a year of being official you both agreed to take a break from the relationship. Unbeknownst to Tom you were just agreeing to save face and hadn’t pried for an answer out of fear of being hurt. You just accepted that this was how things were now, and took a step back.

You’d still kept in contact with him. It was hard not to. He was still your best friend. But whether it was the business of work or something a little more awkward, distance grew between you both as the multi-hour long facetime calls and text threads became once-a-week check-ins to just make sure you were alive and okay.

Time had passed, and you didn’t have a clue what you could possibly say to him now. You certainly didn’t want to ruin his special night. But you’d missed him so much and felt like you would implode at the first sign that he’d be interested in getting back together with you. But you also didn’t want to seem desperate or needy if he’d moved on. You didn’t want to slip and say those three words again in the moment.

Father time showed you no mercy as the sand in his hourglass suddenly shifted from a slow-motion drip to a flood. The seconds you’d spent daydreaming of your past with Tom and pondering about the your potential future had passed and left you with little time to gather yourself before presenting. still you shook your hands, arms, and lastly shoulders, putting all your worries aside and waited for introduction from the host.

Before long you’d been counted in to walking on stage, and heard the host over the microphone. “Ladies and Gentlemen, to present the award and introduce the nominees for Best Supporting Actor, please welcome one of this year’s nominees and one of our generation’s greatest talents: Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

The applause erupts from the audience like a revved up engine as you took center but it was nothing compared to the standing ovation you’d receive later on that night when receiving your own award for Best Actor.

You were stood promptly center staged with the towering Oscar statue reflecting onto the black stage floor beneath your feet. Your outfit was alluring and would surely be the next hot topic which is rare for male stars. You looked like a million bucks. Everyone knew it, most of all, Tom.

You smile and wave as you approach the microphone, your teeth shining a blinding white, and wait for a hush from the crowd.

You chuckle lightly as a few hoots and hollers sound out as the cheers subside.

You eye the monitor across the room and start to read, your nerves dying down as your jokes land and laughter echoes around the room.

As you finish the introduction, clips start to show behind you to accompany the names of the nominees as the cameras catch a glimpse of each of their reactions.

You couldn’t help but notice how tough the competition was as each actor was called. Steven Yuen playing a detective in a thrilling murder mystery. John David Washington in a fictional film playing the world’s first black astronaut aiding in the discovery of lovecraftian horrors. Andrew Garfield for his role as a psychotic narcissist and genius businessman. Oscar Issac acting in a sci fi space opera asking questions of existentialism.

Finally, you had to withhold your smile as you called out the last name. He had returned to his Billy Elliot roots being nominated for his role in a astonishing musical romance film. “Tom Holland.” You’d been ecstatic when he’d told you about it as you’d always recommend he tried it again since it made him so happy in his younger years.

You spot him a few rows from the stage, making eye contact with him and wondering if he was thinking about you the way you had done with him earlier. You couldn’t help but notice him squirming in his chair and fidgeting with his hands. Selfishly asking yourself if this wasn’t just about the award but about having you present it to him.

Seeing you here after what felt like an eternity apart and your reunion potentially being the greatest achievement of both your careers. Making it the greatest night of your lives, that is, if you were still together. But you were still best friends. That’s what mattered. So you push your self centered thoughts aside and shoot him a small wave that he returns with a smile and thumbs up. letting you know he was okay and that you could continue as the camera pans back to you capturing your not so hidden giddiness.

This awarded some small oos and aahs from the crowd as your relationship with him had been a wholly celebrated one. especially among your marvel peers.

You’re handed an envelope and statue as the music ends and the applause dies down and you take one final glare into the camera before beginning to open the envelope.

“....and the Oscar goes to,” you take a peek at the crowd and see some of the nominees holding hands with loved ones. others plainly

awaiting your next words with bated breath. The anticipation shone on everyone’s faces. Even those that weren’t nominated. Your not-so-hidden grin giving away the answer mere milliseconds before his name escaped your lips. “Tom Holland!”

Tom shot up with a shared expression of shock and happiness on his face. Pecking his mother on the cheek as she wipes the tears of pride from her eyes. His best mate Harrison gives him a quick embrace and a pat on the back before he moves on to shake hands with the director and smile at everyone cheering him on as he gradually moves toward the stage still completely baffled at the victory.

As he walks towards you in his pink pastel colored suit and brown leather dress shoes you can’t help but swell with an overwhelming feeling of joy having been here to share this career defining moment with him. You thought about how far you’d both come to get here and almost started tearing up remembering all you’d been through together.

He skipped up the miniature steps and blanketed you with both arms. You didn’t want it to end as you hadn’t felt it in a while. You threw your arms around his neck and he tightens his hold around your torso. Before you could even process them, your blunt thoughts spill out as whispers.

“I’m so incredibly proud of you. you deserve this and so much more.” you hear a small chuckle escape him as he responds. “I am trying not to cry y’know mate?” a wolf whistle comes from the crowd as you apologize for being so sappy and before he can tell you off for it you hand him his award and shove him off toward the microphone.

As he takes center stage you stand off to the side to watch him give his acceptance speech. He pauses and takes a second to gather himself before he starts talking straight from his heart with nothing prepared.

“Um, Wow. I really can’t believe this is really happening and I probably still won’t believe it happened tomorrow. Just.. wow.” his words were filled with that charmingly British accent you’d come to love so much.

“First I would like to thank my mother, without whom of course, I would not be here. I would like to thank the academy and everyone who worked on this movie from the producers and camera men, make-up and costumes, to our wonderful writers, composer, back up dancers and vocalists, and of course my friends, my co-star and the director Damien Chazelle.” whom he gestures to sitting in the second row. “I share this with all of you and I can’t thank you enough for awarding me with the opportunity to create something I love so much.”

He thanks the other nominees before turns towards you to end his speech. you felt your heart in your hands when you saw his big brown puppy eyes dart in your direction with an intensive glare of admiration.

“last but most importantly, I want to thank the inspiration for all of the love songs I sung in the film and the reason I decided to take the role. The person standing here on my right.”

Your jaw drops and your eyes widen when his words hit you like a speeding semi. you realize that he’d just called you his muse in so many words. the inspiration behind the love songs in the film no less. Meaning that with every lovestruck note his character sung he was reminded of you. All that time spent worrying if the distance between you two would cause him to forget about you, or if he’d maybe moved on and found somebody else. But no such thing had happened. He was relating his character’s longing in the film to his longing for you this entire time and that made your heart do a backflip.

You blush and cover your still ajar mouth with your fist whilst trying not to pay attention to the crowd who’s attention was fully focused on you.

He takes a deep sigh before continuing. “Y/N you’re not only the reason I took this role, but you’re the reason I was able to play it with such sincerity. You’ve been a unwavering beacon of support throughout my career in general but here you really gave me the inspiration for something special. He faces the audience again as the all follow his words with whispers of how adorable you both were. “from reading lines together in the middle of the night, to keeping me company when i’m on the brink of a meltdown.” It was all true and it only made you miss you relationship more and you found it difficult to hold back your tears.

“Y/N is the kind of best friend everybody needs, the kind of partner everybody deserves, and the person I’m so incredibly lucky to have known for so long. ..and I still can’t believe he never figured out the lyrics were all about him, It was kind of obvious-” the audience laughed you’re so close to swooning as he turns toward you again. “But, with all my heart, I love you, Y/N. Always will.” you feel as if you’re floating.

He shifts to the crowd one last time to say a final thank you before you both walk off stage one arm around one another’s shoulders. You have a short but sweet conversation backstage with him where reassures you that everything he said on stage was true and completely unscripted. He wants to talk more but knows your category is coming soon so he asks for a later opportunity and you agree before returning to your seat in the crowd.

The rest of the night flew by with you winning the award for best actor and receiving the biggest applause of the night. Tom joined in the standing ovation. You thanked everybody involved in making the film, the academy, and squeezed a little joke directed towards Tom that garnered a shared laugh from both him and the audience. You were the last award of the night and after the celebrations it was time to return to your place, where Tom was waiting for you. Wanting to talk about everything that had happened not just tonight but everything leading up to it. He also hoped you’d kept a spot open in your heart for him to return to.

[liliacvol6]

Just Famous

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader 

Summary: You’re THE up and coming movie star, he’s the guy that plays Spider-Man. What happens when he reveals in an interview that you’re his celebrity crush

Warnings: Honestly just a cute ass lil story

~~~ 

I had this in my drafts forever so I figured I should probably post it eventually :)))

(Y/F/N) - your first name

(Y/L/N)- your last name

(Y/B/F) - your best friend’s name 

~~~~~~~~

You sat on your couch reading a news article about the up and coming movie Spider-Man Far From Home. You were a large marvel fan and had wanted to get into the movie series, you auditioned for MJ but it ultimately went to Zendaya. You talked about this recently in an interview, how losing the role made you work harder and that’s how you go the role you were nominated for an oscar with. 

“Y/N!!” Your manager and friend called to you, you looked up from your phone. Their face was bright red and they held out their phone, “Fucking watch this”

You grabbed her phone and pressed play. It was a video from an interview from the Far From Home press tour. Tom Holland, Zendaya and Jacob Batalon sat laughing and giggling while the interviewer came up with the next question, she waited for the giggles to die down and then said,

“So (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) auditioned for the role of MJ, do you think the movie would’ve been way different if she was cast and Zendaya, you weren’t?” Tom started looking around the room at everyone and as Zendaya started to speak Tom threw his hands in the air waving around, 

“Wait just a minute, (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) could’ve been my MJ? Are you serious??” Tom was smiling widely now, Zendaya slapped his arm and Jacob rolled his eyes,

“What am I not good enough??” Zendaya asked laughing, Tom shook his head and put his face in his hands 

“No, you’re great but she’s celebrity crush for sure and I would love to meet her” 

You gasped as your manager started laughing, “How crazy is that?” She asked taking her phone back. You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling. Tom Holland was extremely cute and from what you had seen in interviews and red carpet appearances he was a real sweetheart too, and YOU were his celebrity crush... you couldn’t believe it.

~~~~~One week later~~~~~

In the past week you were still swimming around with the thought of Tom Holland. It was just a stupid comment that he probably didn’t mean but you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The day you thought you had gotten over it, your manager informed you that you were just invited to the Far From Home premiere in two days. Naturally, this caused you to freak the fuck out even more than you already were. You called up your best friend and asked them to join you at the premiere. They said yes and now it was time for you to find the outfit. 

*I’m in love with this dress btw *

You settled on a dress dress that was to die for. The red was a not so subtle nod to one of Spiderman’s iconic colors and you looked stunning. 

~~~~~

The Night of the Premiere 

“Okay we are approaching so you and (Y/B/F) get ready to depart the car” Your driver told you, you looked at your best friend and they smiled back at you. You were nervous yet excited, nervous because even though you’re an actress you still got nervous in front of the camera. Also nervous because you were most likely going to meet Tom Holland tonight, which also had you excited. 

The car came to a stop and the door opened, you could see some flashing cameras in the distance and knew that’s the destination you had to get to. You stepped out of the car and people started screaming. You say all of the Spiderman fans screaming and waving. You waved back to them and (Y/B/F) came over and grabbed your hand, leading you to where you had to go. You scanned the people that were waiting to go onto the carpet. You were slightly overwhelmed with the amount of marvel stars that had shown up. 

“Holy shit, this is insane” Your best friend whispered to you as they also looked around at all of the celebrities. You nodded to her and turned around to talk to her while you waited to go on the carpet. 

“Oh my god! (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)!! I didn’t know you would be here!” A voice yelled behind you, you turned and were face to face with none other than Zendaya herself. You were star-struck. 

“Oh wow hi, you’re incredible and you look so beautiful” You said to her as she pulled you in for a hug. You introduced your best friend and they received a hug from Zendaya as well. 

“I’m happy you’re here, Tom is a big fan” She said causing you to smile slightly. You wanted to tell her that you were a big fan of his but you couldn’t because Jacob came over and tapped her shoulder,

“Hey Z, we gotta take cast photos” He said looking from her to you, “You came! Awesome, Tom didn’t know if you would since his manager sent out the invite so late” He said smiling at you, you just laughed and waved as him and Zendaya were rushed over to the rest of the cast. You felt slightly embarrassed that everyone was throwing around Tom wanting to meet you like this wasn’t insane news to hear.

Your eyes landed on Tom Holland. The red suit, looked so good on him and you almost lost your breath when you saw him wearing glasses. 

“Woah” you audibly said as your best friend’s eyes went to where you were looking, to your horror he turned his attention to you. You both made eye contact and you felt your stomach flip in knots. He was so handsome and he was looking at you. He gave you a smile and turned his attention back to taking photos. 

After the group photos it was your turn to walk the carpet. You walked with confidence and smiled at the cameras. You were then joined by your best friend and took pictures together. When you turned to walk to the next picture spot you saw Tom staring at you, you went to smile but he turned away immediately. You watched as he started a new interview with Zendaya and it was your turn to walk past him and get ready to watch the movie. When you were walking past you heard your name being called by Zendaya. You turned and saw her ushering you over to the interview. You tried to not look nervous as you walked over to where the interviewer, Tom and Zendaya were standing smiling at you.

“Hi” You said to Zendaya, you turned to look at Tom and he was blushing. The interviewer laughed and held up her microphone.

“So, Miss (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), we were just discussing all the different celebrities that are here tonight when Tom Holland let it slip that he was most excited to meet you” The interviewer said holding the microphone over to you, you didn’t know what to say, Tom was now looking at you with a sheepish grin on his face and you giggled into the mic.

“That’s really sweet, I was really happy when I got the invite because I’m a huge Spiderman fan and I think Tom is doing a great job of portraying him” You said smiling at Tom and then the interviewer.

“Ah.. Thank you” Tom said quietly. 

“Oh my god he’s so embarrassed, that’s so adorable” Zendaya said reaching out to pinch his cheek, he playfully slapped her hand away causing everyone to laugh. 

After a few more questions that the interviewer had managed to loop you into as well, she said “Well thank you for the interview and I can’t wait to watch this film!” she said cheerfully before turning and moving on to interview someone else. 

“I’m sorry about that” Tom said to you as you went to turn away, you turned back and made eye contact with him. You smiled and shrugged

“Don’t be, I have wanted to meet you for a while” You said, mentally you were applauding yourself, you couldn’t believe you managed something intelligent out and especially something somewhat flirty. 

“Listen, I know we don’t know each other that well but if you would ever wanna get a bite to eat or something I’d love that” Tom said giving you a big smile, you felt your insides once again freaking out and you shook your head

“Yeah, I’d love that.” Tom beamed at you and then glanced down and back up

“You look beautiful tonight, and uh.. listen. there’s this after-party I’m throwing with a few friends and I’d love for you and your friend to come along so we could hang out. Only if you want.” He added the last part hastily 

“Oh absolutely, that would be a lot of fun.” 

“Great, can I get your number?” He asked, you said yes and he went over to Harrison who had his phone and brought it back to you.

You put your number in and he thanked you. You didn’t have any time after that to chat because everyone was called in to watch Far From Home. Your best friend tugged on your arm when you were in the theater and showed you your phone which they were keeping for you while you took pictures. 

You had a new text

“Hey, It’s Tom!”

Another one

“Tom Holland, haha shoulda specified. Anyways, here’s the address for the party. I’m looking forward to seeing you there.”

Another text came in while you were looking at your phone

“And you really do look incredibly beautiful tonight” You smiled at your phone and texted him back 

“You look incredibly handsome tonight, I especially love the glasses :)” You looked up just in time to see Tom getting flustered and Harrison laughing as Tom hit his arm. You couldn’t wait for the after-party.

[bi-the-way-132]

I'm taking requests!

Rules:

send any request you have to me through the comments on this post or my inbox

I write mainly fluff but I can also do angst (it's not the best) however I cannot do smut. (I tried and it ended up as a shit show)

first come first serve

I write all types of relationships including x reader, wlw, wlm, mlm, polyamorous, and ships

I write for:

Dear Evan Hansen

Evan Hansen

Connor Murphy

Zoe Murphy

Alana Beck

Jared Kleinman

Be More Chill

Michael Mell

Jeremy Heere

Rich Goranski

Newsies

Davey Jacobs

Crutchie

Race

Spot

In The Heights

Sonny De La Vega

West Side Story

Riff

Baby John

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Wanda Maximoff

Peter Parker (Tom, Andrew, or Tobey)

Loki Laufeyson

Yelena Belova

Kate Bishop

Agatha Harkness

Dr Stephen Strange

Steven Grant

Marc Spector

Jake Lockley

Harry Potter

Cedric Diggory

Neville Longbottom

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Newt Scamander

The Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Dune

Paul Atreides

Duke Leto Atreides

Stranger Things

Peter Ballard

Billy Hargrove

Eddie Munson

Jonathan Byers

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Max Mayfield

Gareth Emerson

Argyle

The Last Of Us

Joel Miller

Ellie Williams

Jurassic Park

Tim Murphy

Queen - Band

Roger Taylor

John Deacon

The Beatles

Paul McCartney

George Harrison

Encanto

Bruno Madrigal

Camilo Madrigal

Dolores Madrigal

Tangled

Flynn Rider

Atypical

Casey Gardner

The Inheritance Games

Avery Grambs

Grayson Hawthorne

Heathers (Movie)

Jason Dean

Veronica Sawyer

Actors

Mike Faist

Laura Dreyfuss

Ben Tyler Cook

Sebastian Stan

Chris Evans

Tom Holland

Andrew Garfield

Joe Mazzello

Oscar Isaac

Miscellaneous

Woodland Demars

I might do some other characters/people if you ask me. these are just the ones I've written before

If you don’t know what to request, I got some prompts you can choose from below. Just make sure in your request to specify which prompt from which list!

General Prompts

It’s really not that complicated

Close the door

It’s three in the morning

I should have told you a long time ago

Why are you helping me?

You have to leave right now

Just trust me

I’ve been waiting a long time

We could get arrested for this

What were you thinking about?

I thought you were dead

You’re never going to let that go, are you?

Was that supposed to hurt?

I can explain

I don’t believe you

He/She/They was/were never mine, but losing him/her/them broke my heart

How do you destroy a monster without becoming one?

I’m afraid you’ll end up seeing me the way I see myself

He/she/they lived to be the greatest

Don’t ever forget me. Please.

The world stopped breathing that night

Everything here can kill you, but I can do it most efficiently

Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless

I buy a personality

I screwed up

And maybe in the end, I was meant to be alone...

You’ll never see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresh air

I just want to go somewhere where nobody knows my name

All the memories come back, but they never do

If your treated like a monster for long enough you become one

Nightmares keeping you awake too?

There, there, it's okay, don't cry

Shh It's okay now, I'm here

I will always be here for you. Never forget that

Don't you ever forget that I am always here

If you ever feel alone, don't because I'm right here

I Literally Scraped My Knee Falling For You

Angst Prompts

Shut up

I can't believe you would do this to me. After everything I've done for you

Give it back

No.

I can't even look at you

You could have just told me

You're just a kid

I'm done

Stop talking to me

Stop coming back

I don't care

Please just let me go

Do you love him/her/them?

I can't love you

I used to think love was real

But in the end I was not the boy/girl/person he/she/they fell in love with

I always knew I would end up being the one who got hurt

If only I had spoken up to him/her/them the first day I saw him/her/them. Maybe we would have been friends and maybe we would have fallen in love. But I didn't talk to him/her/them and we weren't friends and we didn't fall in love. He/she/they found someone else. I can only blame myself

I tried not to fall in love with him/her/them

Can you please stop?

Why did you come back?

Go away

What you said really hurt

I can't do this anymore

I'm not fine. I know I said I was but I'm not

I can't love you. I don't know how

Help.

I have no choice

I had no choice

And with those words, he/she/they left

You're hurting me

You have to choose

Here. You can have it back

Kissing me won't make this go away

To think I trusted you...

I miss your smile

Don't you remember?

I never want to look at you again

You weren't there when I needed you most

How can one person be the source of so much pain?

You’re my regret

Watch me

Don't cry, everything will work out

Please don't cry, I'm so sorry

Fluffy Prompts

You deserve someone who values you

I've known you sense, forever. I can't imagine my life without you

We can't be friends anymore. I will always see you as something else

I don't like him/her/them. I like you

You're a wonderful person, never forget that

He/she/they has/have no idea what they're missing

Sure there are people out there who lobe you. I do

The lucky guy/girl/person who wins your heart will be so lucky

If it wasn't for you, I would be lost. I'm so glad you came into my life

I'd do anything for you

If I was your boy/girl friend, I'd pepper you with kisses and gifts and spoil you so badly

I've been thinking about you a lot lately

Are you jealous of (character/person)

Can you picture it? You and I together?

'Us' I like the sound of that

You always know what to say

My family thinks we're dating...

You’re in love with her/him/them

Come here

Love is overrated

I’ve missed this

Didn’t you guys used to be best friends?

[trulyinspiringmovies]

The Lost City

“The Lost City” aims to be a crowd-pleaser and it’s fun enough.

Loretta Sage is an author of a successful romance-adventure novel series and a widow. She just wants to conclude the series and be left alone, but her cover model, Alan Caprison, urges her to make more. At the start of her book tour, Loretta and Alan get into a bit of an argument and Loretta storms off. She gets kidnapped by Abigail Fairfax who wants to use her knowledge of the lost city she wrote about to find the Crown Of Fire. Now Alan must set out to find Loretta, save her, and potentially win her heart like in her romance novels.

There’s nothing that really stands out with this movie. It’s the classic Hollywood blockbuster formula in action. It aims to be inoffensive and overall a fun time. If that’s the metric I’m grading this movie by, it does its job. I had fun with this movie. I think Channing Tatum is a fun actor to watch and Sandra Bullock was surprisingly comedic. I love me some Daniel Radcliffe and it’s always fun watching him act because he seems to have a genuine passion for it. Brad Pitt also has a small part in this movie and he was cool while he was on screen. Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s part was unfortunately the weak link in this movie. She’s given nothing to do in this movie. She has this whole subplot about trying to get to the island Loretta’s at and I just couldn’t understand why. Like, what was she going to do once she got to the island? Where would she start looking? She’s also paired with some of the other weak links of the movie. Patti Harrison plays Loretta’s social media manager and she was genuinely painful to watch. I don’t think the actor was to blame in this case either. The material she was given was almost cruel to her. The other person Da’Vine Joy Randolph is paired with was Oscar Nunez. He tries to be this crazy guy we all love to laugh at, but never commits to the role. He also just goes on and on, reiterating the same thing desperately hoping that the joke lands with the audience. The jokes never landed. Because the A-plot was filled with enjoyable performances and the B-plot was filled with nothing but boredom, the pacing felt extremely clunky to me. Still, this movie is filled with some decent jokes and fun performances from the three main leads, so it’s not a complete waste of time. The climax even manages to almost say something slightly profound about love, so I’ll give it half credit. All in all, I’d say this movie is something worth turning on if you have nothing else to watch.

★★★

Watched on April 27th, 2022

[denimbex1986]

(Sebastian’s interview plays from from 49.26) 

“It was a wild time because I, I had made like three different audition tapes. I was shooting this tiny movie in Germany and I was making tapes, sending them from there - and, I made a tape for Steve, all, all for Steve, and, and they didn’t say no, they kept giving me notes so I was re-doing them, and then I didn’t hear anything for a while and I was gonna actually go to Romania, where I’m from, after Germany, and instead like, this is where I’m like, I don’t know if, you know, life could’ve gone a very different way had I gone, I don’t know, but instead I, I actually ended up coming back to LA, and then I heard that they were like; ‘Oh, you’re in LA?’ So then, so then I finally went in for like a fourth audition, you know in Sarah’s office, and I did the audition there with her, and then they called me to do a screen test and, which was for Steve, and - and I was like ‘a screen test?’ I had never even - I did one other screen test in my life which was for Star Trek, with JJ Abrams, and it was like - and I, and I obviously did not get that but, but it was like in a, you know it was like in an office with, with, a regular office. I mean this apparently was, we were actually gonna shoot like a scene - you shoot like a whole scene; you put on a costume and everything, you know - I put on this 1940′s like, whatever that suit that Chris has in the, in the movie, in the first Captain America movie, and I, you know you have hair and make-up done, like, it’s like a big tease but you still don’t have the job, you know, it’s crazy. And then you go in there and you’re like, “Oh my God” at the lighting and the camera, and, and I remember doing that, and it was me and like a bunch of other people and, and as soon as I got out of that, like four days later they were like, “You know, it’s not gonna go any further” - you always hear that; “It’s not going any further”, and then, so I was kinda like “Ah fuck after all that..” you know, I was really bummed. And then I got a call saying, “But maybe you shou - maybe we can talk about this character” and, and I never even knew anything about a James ‘Bucky’ Barnes ‘cos what I did like, even for the - I never knew anything about Captain America, I never knew anything about - you know, I never read the comics - so I, and I didn’t wanna read any of it before the audition anyway; there was no script, there was just this scene, and so I really didn’t know anything about Bucky Barnes.”

“Well, so we had that meeting right, like where they, they were like, telling me about James ‘Bucky’ Barnes; again; I don’t have a job. Like, I’m like listening going, ‘Are they - like, this sounds fantastic - but like what, are they just seeing if I’m interested?’ Well yeah, I am interested, like, I wanna be in a movie. But um, they were telling me about his story and they said yeah, and then you know, he becomes The Winter Soldier, he ends up sort of being captured, he falls off this train, he loses an arm, gets recaptured, they they brainwash him, they turn him into this assassin and he comes back, and you know, eventually you know, he comes back around, he gets his memories - like they, they told me the whole story but that was it, there was no more. And then we - and then we were shooting the first movie and, I fall off the train in the movie, and I realised when I went in for a costume fitting, they had given me a costume that was missing the left arm so I was like, ‘*Gasp* Okay that means that they’re - they’re gonna do it’”, you know like - and then, suddenly we were gonna shoot this scene and I had the costume that had both arms and I was like, “Err, why’s not the arm?” and they’re like, “Ah you know what? They just decided that they’ll see if anything - you know, they’d rather have both arms just in case and stuff”, and I was like, “Oh fuck, maybe they’re not gonna do it”, you know? So then I fell off the train in the movie and, the movie comes out, everything’s, you know, cool; 2011, I’m at the premiere of Captain America The First Avenger, and meanwhile like, I’m not, you know, I’m still like, really fighting for a job, like 2011 was one of the hardest years of my life. Like, you know, I was going to this premiere but I, Iike, it was - I needed a job, I was running out of money, like, it was like all this stuff was happening and, and then it wasn’t really until I wanna say like, whenever the San Diego Comic Con in San Diego happened, and a friend of mine called me and said; “Dude, they just - they just, uh, let out the new, uh, title for the sequel and it says ‘Captain America The Winter Soldier.’ in it.” And I was like “What?” That’s how I sort of found out and then a call happened  and we were like, ‘Okay we’re gonna do this sequel’ - that’s how that sort of happened. I mean, I never knew.”

“Well, I mean I think, I think the only thing, uh what’s different is, is the level of experience, right like, I feel I’ve grown so much as a, obviously as a human, you know from experience, but also just as an actor, like how I’m approaching things now is on such an deeper, more specific level than I did ten years ago, you know? I mean, like I’d gone to school and I knew what I was doing and you know, but, but then I think you just learn yourself better, you know, you learn to access yourself in, in different ways, so I feel for me, the work is always deeper now. Like, so I, I guess that sort of changes approaching the character but also the character had - had evolved, you know, cos he’d sort of gone from - through that whole Winter Soldier journey, and then we kind of had him, you know, on these redemption paths like all through Captain America Civil War and into the Infinity War, Endgame stuff. But it was really for me like the, The Winter Soldier movie and the Civil War movie were, were probably the biggest character development moments that he had right? ‘Cos he didn’t really in the - in Endgame and Infinity War; he was there and, and it was still-  it was still travelling towards something, and, and, really the show now - like, this show was the first time we kind of really dove into more things with him, deeply, um, and yeah, I just think, it’s just a life experience to kind of come back to a character, and in a way, you know you add to it. Like, I, I don’t know what filming - I mean it’s not like A Boy’s Life, right, that movie that Ethan Hawke did, but they came back through the years, and there was maturity there and a growth and I, I can’t help but think that to some extent, if I sat down and I watched Captain America First Avenger, and I watched all of the movies with that, this character’s in, including our show, I, I 100% would probably see a character that’s has grown because the actor that’s playing him has, you know?”

“Um, I think we all discussed that we wanted to find a way back for him towards a more stable place, or a better sense of self, you know? He’s gotta own everything he’s experienced; he’s gotta kind of like, The Winter Soldier persona per se is - it’s like a demon that’s a part of him that he’s somehow come to terms with and, and he’s learned how to turn it into a strength, rather than it you know, suddenly like he’s just gonna be cured of this thing because; they are comic book heroes but like, and some more than others, but they all have these emotional complexities to them and, and, and one of the things that I love, like I was lucky with this character, is that he really does have this sort of relatable arc, you know? Um, we’ve all kind of go through - we all have to like face our pasts, we, we’re all haunted by things that have happened to us; trauma, things that we’re trying to like overcome or, you know, people deal with addictions, people deal with - you know so, so there’s all these pieces to that character kind of as he’s like trying to find a better way of life, you know, and fit into the world better - and also give him, give him - give him a new life so to speak, uh, without you know, in, in the shadow of Steve Rogers, you know, and, and exploring how that character now can be in the world, you know, um, and properly function, even for audiences. I think for both of them that was - that was also, uh, another piece.”

“Well I just, but again, like for me like, I knew, I knew this character really well. Uh, like I feel like the preparation that before you start shooting is the most crucial time ever because and, as you know like with you what I’m currently doing, like, it’s just like, you can see, others can’t - yet. Um, it’s insane to try to become someone else or whatev - like, you’re always trying to find ways to relate, you’re always trying to understand; the whole thing is a big sort of study project. Uh, with this character, I mean I was very, yeah I was very protective you know, while we were shooting and there were things that we were trying out, that, that had been tried out on the page that weren’t working, you know, and things that needed to be reshaped you know with us now being kind of like getting into the dialogue - getting in, getting there on set, you know, dynamics, and, and it was great that we had, we were allotted the freedom, Anthony and I, to really take what was on the page and make it our own you know, and kind of bring our own experience from the movies to this, you know? And there were times when I was like, ‘Hey listen, like, he wouldn’t do that or he wouldn’t say that here. He would - he would do this - we haven’t earned this yet.’ You know? I think; I can’t speak for everybody, but you know, for me, I, I wanted to really explore a different side of him. Obviously one that was comedic with Anthony right, the dynamic of what that is, and it really, I started looking at it going like, ‘Oh my God, they’re like the - it’s, it’s the Odd Couple.’ That’s what it is. Like, Anthony’s you know, Walter Matthau and I’m Jack Lemmon, like that or it’s like the other way around. Like, that’s the bickering thing, that’s the comedy, you know and, and Bucky is a guy out of time who’s like an old guy trapped in this body trying to fucking figure out what the hell’s going on. And, and, uh, that’s the comedy - like that’s where; and that’s also where the truth is with him, you know? Um, but I was, I was like always reminding them being like ‘Guys, just remember he was a fucking assassin’, you know; he’s always have this chip on his shoulder you know, to some extent, and, you know - and also he’s really gonna - he is, at the beginning of the season, he’s coming from a very defensive place because his - his sort of big purpose up until that point right, like had been, ‘I know I’m not a perfect individual, right, but I know this guy, my best friend, the guy who’s been by my side since I fucking remember anything, Steve Rogers, is a good man, and I’m gonna do everything I can to try to make sure that guy’s okay, you know, and, and follow his lead’, and, and I know like that was like the, the moral compass; Steve Rogers was his moral compass right, and now you’ve taken that out, so he’s going, it kind of is a little bit like, ‘Well now what do I compare - what do I base myself off of? Like what do I, what’s my target, what’s my purpose, what’s my direction? What’s my sense of, where’s my GPS?’ You know like, it’s a little but like that and, and he’s in a very defensive place at the beginning because he’s - he hasn’t confronted the emotional implications of that yet, and throughout the season obviously he does, you know, but you see that he’s sort of like, instead of confronting, he’s kind of hunting certain questions and fears like further down the road and kind of trying to drive an agenda and, and for a minute, you know, before he actually takes a step back and go, and goes, ‘Wait a minute, what does Sam Wilson really want? Like, who, you know, who is Sam and, and therefore who am I?’ and like ‘What do we really want and what is it really about?’, you know, and so I guess those were all the things we were tackling.”

“I always thought there was a conversation that took place you know, before that scene, that, before the final scene of Avengers Endgame, where you see Steve Rogers much older and there’s a sort of right of passage you know that,  that happens, that I - I always feel thought there was a conversation between him and Bucky before that happened, you know, and in that conversation, where it was like, ‘Bucky, you don’t have to worry anymore. I found my - my peace you know? I’m - I’m, I, I finally got that life I wanted, you know, I took, I’m - I’m taking one for me, you know, and I’m good. Now it’s your turn to go and take one for you, you know? We both served this thing, the shield, this ideal, whatever you wanna call it, like, we’ve done our time - like, let’s find our life like before like, while we still have it’ And, you know, I think Bucky kind of honoured that, and I think, and I think, essentially it was goodbye. It was like, ‘Okay buddy, like, you know, it was a good run, like let’s, good luck and, and let’s go and see what happens’ you know?’ And so I don’t think it’s - does Bucky know where Steve Rogers is? That’s a good question. Um, maybe, maybe not, you know? Uh, I mean I, I don’t even know if I have the answer to that question and I, and I definitely don’t. Yeah, so, so, so I, I treated the season very much like, ‘Alright, this is where it’s at, you know, and how good - I don’t have to, thank God I’m not, I’m not standing over a coffin, you know, I’m, I’m, I’m looking at my friend who’s smiling into the sunset and, and, and being like ‘Yo I had a great life, like, I’m good, you know, so now what is it about? You know what? It’s about the legacy he left behind, you know, I’ll protect that.’ But again, he’s not making it about - Bucky’s not making it about Bucky - he’s again making it about Steve, and of course as you see the season, Sam goes, ‘No, you gotta look at you. You gotta, you gotta make it about you. What do you want?’”

“That was before. And, and it was one of the - episode 5 was like really the first one we were, we were filming. I mean, we all - the whole thing was like a movie; we never broke up the episodes. Like, but that sequence in, at Sam’s house was all at the very beginning of the, of the show, you know, and, and it was crazy because we were shooting a really important scene very quickly, not having had, you know, a lot of the journey yet. That was literally probably day three, you know and, and I that think one of the things that was so wild is, obviously we were shooting the show and then, you know, we were supposed to be the first show out and stuff, and then the pandemic happened; all the tragic events of the pandemic, everything, you know, that was happening in this country, everything we were witnessing, all the way up until this January, you know what I mean? And we were going ‘My God’, like, how, how relevant our show sort of suddenly even became even more you know, because there was a lot of questions that were being asked even before anything had happened.”

“Well yeah, I mean Kevin and I; you know, I, I, yeah, I, I remember having a really good long chat with him before we started you know, just to, just to talk about Bucky and, and kind of like, you know, making sure we were on the same page and everything, and, and I love that. I love talking to him, I mean he’s, he’s like an encyclopedia. You know, I mean there’s just - there’s so much he knows about everything, um, so I, that was my main source, and then, and then Kari and I spent a lot of time talking.”

“Well yeah, I mean. Unless a role requires a certain kind of, whether it’s like gaining weight or losing weight or whatever - I usually, I, for my own, like, I just, the, the workout regimen has just always been part of my life and, and really started with Mar - like, with this character and Marvel ten years ago, you know what I mean, just, is when I really, really - I was trying so hard to get into such good shape around those movies that it just kind of - I mean, I, I don’t go as crazy def-con 5 about it as I do when we’re shooting something or when we’re preparing, but yeah, going back to it, of course. I always try to go back, get really - get into the gym, and, and into the diet specifically like three months before, and um, and it’s a whole process uh, and, but I’ve gotten a little bit more comfortable now, in my, sort of my strengths versus my weak points, you know. Uh, I think like in some - somewhere around the Civil War movie I was just, I was like, ‘I just want to be as massive as I can’ or something, like I was just really - and now I’m kind of more, ‘Okay, I, I know what works for me a little bit better and not’, but yeah, it’s always - especially because of the stunt stuff. And yeah, you know, I, like it’s a, it’s a - it’s a blessing really because, in a lot of ways, you know, I don’t have - Bucky doesn’t have any head covering, anything. Since we started, I’ve managed to do a lot of stunt stuff. Whenever there’s a physical sequence, like we, we always get passes at that, you know what I mean, and it really is on us like how much we wanna be involved or not and I always want to be as involved as possible and it’s been amazing. I mean I think what happens is - when you do it so many times, like I was so obsessed with it on the Civil War I would even go up to the Russos and even if like the camera wasn’t on me, I’d still wanna do it. You know what I’m saying? Like at one time I like pulled my back. Because you can’t - like, if you’re doing that sequence like 30 times, or whatever, like, even like, you’re exhausted, You’re, I don’t care, how, what - you know, maybe a super-trained athlete, whatever, like, they’re training for that fight, right, they’re training for that two hours like for months, but we’re going eight hours a day. Like, I think, even some of the stuff like it’s - I’ve always had a good amount of stuff that I was allowed to do, and that for me is super fun because he’s much more hand-to-hand combat. You know, he’s got his arm; like he can’t fly, he’s not throwing hammers and spiderwebs and stuff like, he’s just, it’s much more hand to hand and, and, and it’s because I wanna be in shape to be able to do that. So for the pandemic, I was running - a lot, and then what I did was, um, I had pull-up bar in my apartment and I was literally running up and down stairways and then I was doing 100 - I was doing 100, 200 push-ups a day, 100 pull-ups a day, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, like I would just do that over and over again. And yeah, that was the only way.”

“Oh God, that scene is like - you know, those are the scenes that when you read a script you’re like, ‘Oh yes, this is gonna be amazing’, like you’re like, ‘oh I love that, that’s amazing, it’s gonna be like the moment’, and then it starts to be like this iceberg ahead, that you’re like slowly going closer and closer to it. It’s like, ‘Oh God that scene, oh God that scene’s coming up’ - and then you just have it marked on your calendar like, ‘two weeks until -.’ You know, and it’s just - and even up until that point, it’s just always - it’s a scary thing to always be thinking about because you know, you have to go to these places and you have to go there - and um, yeah, we did it, we did it a few times and, it was a good day.”

“Oh my God, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, just like thinking about it now, with like the whole Chadwick thing is just so crazy. I’m like - with him I was always like really enamored, because I remember on that Civil War movie we met and, and  um, you know, he had come in and, and he new and he - it was sort of like the introduction of his character and I was like, ‘Oh my God, this guy is gonna, he’s blow everyone away.’ You know what I mean? Like it was - there was such, like a commitment and dedication to everything he was doing; it was just so crazy, and we had a lot of these fight sequences and I remember being terrified of going in those scenes with him, um and, and, and we went for it - like we went - we really went for it. ‘Cos I was like, ‘Okay, he’s really showing up, I gotta, I gotta stand tall, I gotta show up’ you know, and then afterwards, we would just do these little fist bumps, you know like, ‘Cool, we’re good.’, you know, like, and then after we shot, you know I spent some time, a little bit, on the press tours and we would be laughing, and it was really cool, and I just, in my head, I would always hope that there was just gonna be more. And so, it’s just crazy to even wrap my mind around the idea of being in any world without him there, you know? I just can’t even imagine it really in my mind, you know, but obviously, I always felt like, I always - in my little scene, you know in my little scene at the end of Black Panther, I was always like ‘Aah, I’m part of the worl - I’m part of that movie.’ I always - I felt, I felt so good, you know, with that little scene and I, and I just loved working with Ryan Coogler, you know on that, he - it was so cool, ‘cos that was, he directed that scene and I remember being there that day, and, and so I kind of got to work with him a little bit, and, and I just, it was a really cool experience. Like, I really, really liked him as a director. And I loved Fruitvale Station; I loved all of his movies, um, I love Creed, I, I - so, so the idea of working with him again in some capacity is really cool and, and you can bet, I’ve, I’ve definitely raised my hand and I’ve said, ‘Hey man, whatever I can do, I’m in.’, but it’s just, it’s gonna be wild to tackle you know any - any of that going forward - I’ve no idea. I could just keep sending - I could, you know what, I should just send him an email once a week just ‘Wakanda.’ But it’s kind of cool, you know like, I love, I, I, again like, I felt really, like, grateful and proud that I was included even with that little scene, ‘cos sometimes, like you know, like I’ve, I’ve told this story before but I don’t know, I, I love telling it, you know, like I was on this airplane one time, and I was flying home, and, and I remember the stewardess came up to me and she gave me - she just handed me this tiny piece of paper and like walked away. And I was like ‘What?’ So, I was like, I don’t know, maybe it was a number, I’ve no idea what - you know, and, and I open it and it just said ‘Wakanda Forever.’ You know and then I like turn around to look down the aisle and she just goes (makes Wakanda symbol). And I was like, ‘Oh my God, okay’, like but it was - so I know, um, I, I love that, that people remember that Bucky’s a part of that in some way, so, you know hopefully, maybe there’ll be more.” 

[peeterparkr]

perfidy;tom holland|4

chapter 4: the scene

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits

story summary: Tom and you have been sworn enemies since you were young. However, you happened to be best friends with the twins. When one of your friends challenged you to break Tom’s heart, you immediately accepted to get back at him for all the times he’s hurt you. Old feelings might come back, while both of you try to go past your pride and your lies.

chapter summary: you and Tom get... nicer. 

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: smut (if you don’t wanna read it skip the *), swearing, mentions of sex, alcohol mention, didn’t proof read

word count: 4.9k

here’s a playlist

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged? 

We’ve all made mistakes. It’s a part of life. It’s on us if we learn from them or not. Making the same mistake twice makes you a fool, but making it for the third time and doing it worse, makes you wise. No, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. Because life isn’t a movie, you can’t skip a scene. 

But everyone conspired on making everyone believe life would be like the movies. You knew better. You knew that your life wouldn’t have something out of the ordinary. 

And you didn’t believe in movies that made the whole big act, you loved movies which pictured life as it is. Of course, we can’t get rid of the whole happily ever after and the good guy wins, dreams come true. But, the whole story can’t be a fairytale, it had to have some drama, it couldn’t be perfect, because life..it truly wasn’t. 

You had a lot of trouble with the script you were about to write, not only because it involved pulling stunts you’d certainly not like doing, but because it wasn’t the kind of scripts you liked to write. Because you knew that your boss wanted a story that would sell, and you didn’t like writing those. They felt… plain. 

You believed in feelings and in poetic cinema, if one must call it some way. You believed in rough action and transmitting something, on making life a little bit better, but true. You loved writing feelings and the thoughts and the way we tend to speak when we're alone, the roughness of thoughtful and quiet minds, life as hard as it was. Not writing about some stupid tv series about getting revenge on your childhood enemy. Because even though this was life, it was more than that. 

It was deeper and so beyond the crap you were pulling. 

It wasn’t something you’d watch. Especially, because for you, there were too many love songs, too many romance movies, too many of them. The world doesn’t need one more, did it? It was getting tiring the same old story. There wasn’t one that made you feel something. What was so special about romantic movies? You never truly liked them, maybe it was due to your early heartbreak but you never invested your life on romance. It felt… plain. Like a scene with no action. 

How would you write something that probably didn’t exist? Not that you didn’t believe in love, but romance per se. You didn’t like the idea of giving false hope. 

But movies, they gave false hope. Of the guy who’d stop your wedding, or the summer love or whatever crap they’ve manifested so recklessly now. It was stupid. 

Sure dreams aren’t crap, and there are moments in life which you’d love to picture forever. There was something about life being captured in camera that made it so… magical. Maybe that’s why you’d obsessed on the videos that you’d recorded throughout your childhood and teenage years. You had a sort of project with them, one you’d kept to your heart. The script you actually wanted to write, about a girl and a dream and how life maybe keeps pulling her down. And that maybe she stopped one day and wondered if this was the life she was supposed to live. 

An Oscar worthy script, that’s what you’d love to write. Not some stupid tv series that’d probably star some standup comedian that would be popping at the moment and Britain’s latest sweetheart. 

You didn’t want to write it.

Besides, you weren’t sure  how exactly you’d write what was probably going to happen. Because you knew what was going to happen. You wouldn’t have this on camera, though. 

The driver was rushing  to get you to your location, and you weren’t sure why you hadn’t stopped either yourself or Tom from doing this. 

This was the sort of mistakes that happen in movies that lead to the perfect romantic spot. But this was your life and you were sure that this would only lead to more trouble than you already had with him. But gosh, why was he so good at this? His lips were like poison, but you had to keep on tasting and tasting. 

This could be… poetic cinema. 

His fingers were roaming around your skin as he tried to deepen the kiss, his tongue finding a way into your mouth. You pulled away, this was inappropriate, and you could clearly sense it by the way the driver was trying to go faster. 

Tom frowned and you discreetly motioned to the driver, but that didn’t keep Tom away. His hand on your waist was fidgeting as he cleared his throat. 

The ride went quiet, too quiet for your own convenience. Except for the music the driver was playing in the background. Your heart beat was about to pop out of your chest, but eventually you arrived at Tom’s place. 

“Or should we go to your…?” He asked but you quickly jumped off the car. Tom quickly followed you and rushed to the door. He searched for his keys but you had already placed your lips back on his, you felt in such a rush, unsure why. 

*

He weakened against your touch as he then pushed you against the door, he finally found the keys and opened it, you both, between sloppy kisses walked in. Your hands were going under his shirt and he pulled away. 

“We can’t make any noise,” he whispered as your lips landed on the very welcoming spot on his collarbone.

“Shut up, then,” you ordered as his hands landed on your ass, feeling it up. His fingers then travelled up your sides. 

He slammed you against the wall, taking you by surprise but he smirked. “In no way are you taking control of this,” he warned as he sucked on that sweet spot on your neck. 

“We’ll see,” you sentenced as you walked your fingers down his chest, down to his pants as you unbuckled him, but then your fingers stayed on his abs, as they traced them up, making him shiver as he was too busy moving down to your cleavage. 

You pushed him away to finally rip off his shirt and he pushed you right back to the wall, as he unzipped you, his hand cupped your heat. You let out a moan but he quickly silenced you by pushing his lips back to yours.

“So wet for me, darling?” He smudged between kisses, as he started to grind against you, you felt a bulge growing up and pushing you up. He was the one to groan this time. 

“I’m gonna fuck you,” he stated as he pulled your legs up to his waist. 

“That’s the least you could do,” you snapped. And he took it as an invitation for his hand to go past your pants, feeling your folds through the underwear. You closed your eyes with pleasure as his fingers gently circled your core through the fabric, but then he pulled his hand back up as he saw you liking more than he wanted to

You started to unbutton him but he stopped your hands. This was the alcohol doing its job, but also you had really felt the need to do this, without feeling anything for anyone. Somehow your friends had been right, this was exactly what you needed a perfect rebound.

“To my room,” he warned as he picked you off the ground and between pushing you against the walls and trying no to fall, you both finally made it. 

He slammed his door shut and then let you down, but you changed it up, pushing him against the bed. He sat on the edge as he pulled you close to him, he finally got rid of your shirt as his lips then connected to your chest. You sat on top of him, and grinded against him. He moaned, but you covered his mouth knowing damn well his brother and Harrison were next door. 

“Easy, Holland.” You grinned as you pushed his arms down to the bed, he looked at you with surprise but then a smug smirk traced on his lips. 

“This seems oddly familiar,” he recalled, laughing. “Seems like all those years wrestling were of use.” 

He unhooked your bra as he then admired them, he didn’t hesitate on bringing his lips to them.

His tongue swirled around your nipples. You bit your lip trying to stop yourself from making any noise as you pushed him back down, you finally unzipped him and pushed down his pants, his hard cock trying to burst out of his boxers. You crawled back up to meet his lips, your hand palming his length. 

“All that for me? I thought you hated me,” you grinned cockily, as you kissed down your way down to his abs, but then you kissed your way back up. You teased him, as you felt his cock growing. You say on top of it, legs opened and chuckled as you moved your hips around just a little, his hands practically cementing into your body as he also tried to move you as he pleased to. 

“Fuck, y/n,” he half moaned half whispered. But you went back down to the edge of his boxers as your fingers brushed against his length, as his body . But you were only teasing him, somehow seeing him tense and suffering had you on your edge. 

“Are you going to do something or not?” He snapped, and you laughed to yourself. 

“No,” you smirked as you traveled back to suck on his collarbone, grinding against him. 

“Fuck,” he cursed as he took you by your arms and pushed you into the bed. It was his time to pull down your pants, as his hands caressed your half naked body, bristling your skin with each touch. He kissed behind your ear and then turned your face to face him. 

You thrashed your hips against his, trying to get some friction to the growing need in yours, it seemed like he had needs of his own to be covered. But even as his lips crawled down from your lips to your chest down to your belly, you knew you weren’t going to get what you wanted. You squirmed against his touch, his lips leaving wet spots as he was trying caving his way down. He was just an inch from your sex as he kissed your thighs, his warm breath vibrating against your heat, he smirked as he placed a single kiss on top of your underwear. 

“Tom,” you breathed out, but he only brushed his lips against it, as if he was punishing you for what you’d done earlier. “You’re a prick.” 

“I know.” 

He climbed back up as his fingers brushed your underwear again, pulling it down slowly. His index gently bristled your folds as you let out a soft moan. Your hands arrived back on his ass as you kneaded them, just as his own hand played with your breasts. 

You finally pulled down his boxer and his cock sprung out, already dripping. He brushed it again your swollen clit and you had to catch your breath. 

“Keep it down,” he warned again. 

“Or what, asshole?” You grinned as your fingered traveled down to hold his pulsating bulge, he rolled his eyes back and then gasped out of surprise. 

But he pushed your arms to the bed, as you looked into his eyes, filled with lust and excitement. 

“No touching,” he ordered as you plucked into the duvet, gripping tight as his own fingers slid through your folds, as his thumb rubbed circles on your core. 

You convulsed with pleasure as he then tried to positioned himself in between your legs. He searched in his nightstand and reached out for the condom, ripping it open with his teeth. 

You saw his hard and big cock sprung out as he wrapped it around. He smirked. You couldn’t have expected it even if being warned as soon as he filled you up, you let out a moan. 

“Shut up, idiot,” he reminded you as he adjusted himself. “So tight,” he whispered as he started to thrust upon you, slowly at first then getting a steady rhythm than had you pulling on the blankets. You bit your lip to resist you from moaning, and Tom was trying to shut himself too as he was slamming against you. Your hands found their way into his har and you clawed his back. He cursed against you, but his lips found their way back to yours. His fingers trailed down back to your core as he was circling it, just like you needed him to. 

You cursed under your breath, as you rocked your own hips up. He rolled back his eyes as he let out a moan. 

“You shut up,” you said this time with a smirk, as he pulled you up, sitting the two of you up, helping you out to maneuver more. 

“Fuck, I hate you so much,” he stated. 

“Hate me harder, then,” you snapped. You rocked your hips in circles trying to find the perfect spot as he jumped up and down, his head falling back down with pleasure, as his hands explored around your body. 

“I’m gonna--” He announced as you nodded. Sweat dripping down the both of your bodies. 

“Me too,” you whispered as you felt your orgasm building up in your stomach, your thighs trying to close as he kept opening you back up. He laid you  back down as he tried to keep up his pace but you saw him squirming, as your own toes curled and you had to keep the grip on the duvets as you reached your high, panting slowly as he finally came undone, and pulled out of you to catch his breath.

You rubbed your face as you were panting softly. 

*

That had… been a scene. Maybe not as poetic as you thought it would go, but it was rough. 

“We fucked up, didn’t we?” You managed to say in between breaths. 

He grinned. “I… don’t think we did.” He admitted as he faced you. “That was amazing.” 

“It was okay,” you stated, with a smirk, knowing it’d pinch his pride. 

“What?” He frowned. 

You laughed. “I’m kidding… it was…” You bit your lip. “It was great.” 

“Try fucking great,” he corrected you. “We made a good team for once.” 

You shrugged. “You said it, all those years wrestling.” 

“Man, why did Timmy leave you? That was… something else” 

“Are you really going there?” You rolled your eyes. 

He laughed. “Right, sorry, I forgot about your shitty personality.” 

“And you’re one to speak,” you flicked his shoulder. 

“I’m England’s sweetheart,” he smirked. “The whole world is in love with me.” 

“The whole world is stupid,” you stated. 

He paused and then chuckled to himself, it felt silent, and you felt your stomach falling down. He stared at you, and for a moment, it felt different as if he had paused to admire you, and you did to, looking at the sweat that sensually brightened up his face and as his chest puffed up and down, it felt… Different, not like you were just seconds ago, it had  changed it all to this, not the rush, not the heat, it was… Silent. He puckered his lips as he then proceeded to caress them, you raised your brows but then pushed his hair away from his face. He kissed you again, it felt different as he wrapped himself around you. As if he was trying to state something with the kiss. As if he was asking to slow it down, and… you did. 

You woke up later, it was early, the moonlight was still striking through the room, you curled up to the soft and warm duvet that surrounded you, your bare skin made you feel uncomfortable, but you were… pleased. You tried to shift but his arm fell around you, he pulled you close to him. And then you turned around to look at him. You felt your skin bristle with cold. You ran a hand through his hair, still curled from the sweat. 

You despised him. 

Even if the moon was dancing over his skin and his eyes were calm enough and his lips just parted perfectly, you were sure of it, you didn’t like him. Specially because you’d felt used, no matter how good it had felt, it only made your hatred grow. Because you knew how it’d go in the morning, with him probably telling his friend and brother that you had begged him to sleep with you, even if he had been the one to start it. 

And you hated him because he had made you feel so good, it had felt great, there had been barely any inhibitions. And… no feelings. It was weird. It had been what you’d probably asked from yourself all this years, selfless meaningless sex. Casual, and… It probably wouldn’t ruin anything.

That’s what made it worse. This wouldn’t be acknowledged in just a few hours. 

You closed your eyes again to find some sleep, as he pulled you even closer. Which made you… feel different. He probably was doing this subconsciously and you didn’t need to address it. But if you were honest, you’d been so touch starved since your break up that you had missed this more than the sex. An arm around you and someone to curl up to. 

This… this was too intimate and you weren’t sure if you liked it was with Tom, out of everyone, with Tom. But you couldn’t help but feel nice with his bare skin against yours. 

Eventually you fell back asleep. 

You woke up later again, the foggy light coming from the window, as you stretched out to find no one by your side. You felt a jolt in your stomach as you saw your clothes perfectly folded on the edge of the bed. 

You didn’t want to walk out of the room, and you didn’t want to face anyone. Not Harrison, not Harry, although you’d been quiet, you were kind of sure the bed had made noise of its own. 

You didn’t regret it, though. Somehow, you didn’t regret it, but you didn’t want to address it. 

You dressed up and then, quietly made your way down. You almost had a heart attack as you saw Tom in the kitchen. 

“What the fuck are you still doing here?” He asked. The sentence stayed in the air, as you stayed there, with your arms crossed. 

 He seemed confused as he stared at you. 

“I just woke up.” Your voice was just as harsh as his. 

“Well, you’re up. Go.” He snapped again as he was looking behind you. 

“I literally just woke up, Tom,” you rolled your eyes taking out your phone. “I’ll—get myself a cab and then we’re good.” 

“I’m—no, sorry, I’m sorry,old habits, it’s cause...I think I saw Haz there. They can’t see you,” he explained, as he went to a softer spot on his voice. He gulped as he stared at you. He walked over and grabbed you by the hand as he pulled you to the end of the kitchen, cornering you against the counter. 

“I am not hiding, Tom.” 

“I—sorry, sorry… sorry,” he apologized, as his hands landed on your waist. Your brows picked up. “I just—don’t want them to know.” 

“You’d rather have them believe we hate each other?” You questioned. 

“Well.” 

“I don’t have to pretend,” you stressed. “Nothing’s changed.” 

“Oh, I don’t like you either.” He smirked. “However, I think a lot has changed y/n,” he pointed out as he lifted your chin, his fingers sketching on your waist. He knew exactly what he was doing as his eyes were bathing you with his glance, going from your own sight to your lips. 

“We don’t have to do this,” you quickly sassed. “We can pretend it didn’t happen.” 

“But it did, y/n.” 

“You know it changed nothing right? I still despise you.” 

“Tell me more,” he smirked as his  lips bristled a sweet spot on your neck. 

“That’s not dirty talk,” you stated. 

He grinned. “Which makes it better, doesn’t it?” His lips were barely half an inch close to yours. “But we both know, they can’t find out about it,” he admitted and you felt his warm breath hitting your lips. 

Somehow that made it… fun. Keeping this a secret and having the adrenaline of trying not to be discovered awakened something in you. You closed the gap by pressing your lips fully to him, and you could taste coffee from them, a sweet but passionate kiss. 

“We were drunk,” you said in between kisses. 

“I’m not drunk right now,” he grinned as he cupped your face. “It was fun.” 

“I… really, Tom…” You looked away. “I don’t do that.” 

“You think I do?” 

You shrugged. “Well.” 

“I guess we both did it because we trust each other,” he admitted. “For better or for worse.” 

“Well, it can’t… Keep happening.” You gulped. 

“Why not?” He grinned as he placed a single kiss on your cheek. “It’s not like we’d catch feelings.” 

He was right, and that made you think of the first reason you’d done it. The bloody script you had to write. 

“But I’m going to work for you, it’d be unprofessional,” you said. “Besides, sleeping with the enemy?” 

Tom laughed. “I guess,” he sighed dramatically. “Well, it was fun.” 

You pushed him away. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving.” 

“I was about to make you coffee,” he stopped you by your hand. 

You frowned. “Really?”

“No,” he smirked. “You really thought I’d get all domestic on you? Gee, y/n, thought you’d known better. Get the hell out of my house.” 

You grinned. “You’re such a sweetheart, aren’t you?” 

“Y/N?” And that voice had not been the one you expected. 

“Harry, hi,” you gulped. 

Harry looked confused, this had fucked it up. If he’d heard anything from what had happened. Tom stopped as he stared at you, you knew he was building up excuses as his brother watched you both. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked. “Are you… wearing the same…?” 

He seemed clueless, that was good. 

“Yeah, uh, last night y/n got pretty wasted so I offered her to stay here,” Tom cleared out his throat. 

“You did?” Harry raised his brows. 

“Yeah, yeah, he was drunk too, you know we’re nice to each other when we’re drunk,” you explained. But last night you’d been quite a bit nicer, hadn’t you? You wrinkled your nose. 

“Morning,” Harrison had chirped into the kitchen. “Oh, y/n didn’t see you…” He frowned as he looked between you and Tom. “Hello.” 

“Haz,” you smiled at him, trying to cover up your embarrassment. “What’s up?” 

“Eh, not much, just awful roommates I have,” he pointed out as he glared at Harry and Tom. “Uh, okay, I found this,” Haz said lifting up Tom’s t-shirt from last night, throwing it over at Tom, but then turning back to you.. 

Both Tom and you got flustered red as he caught it. 

 “Where did you sleep? Had I known I would’ve offered you my room,” Harry pushed.  

“I--I gave-I gave her my room, I slept on the couch, yeah, yeah, I slept on the couch,” Tom explained. 

“And the shirt?” Harrison frowned.

“I was drunk and since I slept on the couch… I took it off,” Tom quickly blurted out. 

“Yeah.” You nodded. “And he already kicked me out, so I’ll… see you later, Harry, Haz.”  

Harry frowned. “Of course not,” Harry said. “You’re staying for breakfast.” 

Tom sighed. “Then I’m not having breakfast with you.” 

“No one wants that,” you poisoned as he walked past you, but he dedicated you a wink as he left. 

“Piss off, y/n,” he chanted as he finally left, lifting his middle finger at you. 

“Fuck off, Tommy!” You sang back. “Have a shitty day!” 

Harry crossed his arms as he rolled his eyes. “Is that ever going to stop?” 

“No, not really,” you grinned. 

Harry headed to the coffee pot as he poured out a mug for you, you sat down on the counter as Harrison was very confused watching you. He pulled out his protein shake and started to prepare it. 

Harrison seemed suspicious. “Was anyone watching porn last night?” 

“What?” You laughed. 

“I heard...moans,” Haz said. “Could've been my imagination.” 

“Again with those dreams boo?” Harry teased. 

“I...I was,” you lied, nervously. Harry and Haz side eyed each other with a smirk. You rolled your eyes. “It wasn’t porn, I… Was helping out a friend with a scene.” 

That gave them less of an explanation. 

“He… is making a project, it’s… You know one of those films that has the unnecesary sex scene but it’s all poetic and shit?” You rolled your eyes. “He asked me if it had been unnecessary.” 

“Was it good?” Harry asked. 

“Very,” you said without thinking. “Bad. Very Bad. Very unnecessary.” 

Haz laughed. “Well, I heard it but then I went back to sleep, thought Tom had brought someone, but… Clearly,” he laughed as he stared at you. “I was very wrong.” 

“Very.” 

Harrison finished shaking his protein. “Well, Imma head out, it was nice seeing you, y/n,” he grinned. 

“You too, Haz.” 

Harry ran a hand through his hair. “So, what’s the script gonna be about? Any idea?,” he said as he handed you a mug of hot coffee. 

“I...” You shrugged. “Dunno, I’m not as excited,” you admitted. “They probably want me to write something that sells.” 

“And have England’s new sweetheart to star it,” Harry rolled his eyes. “Right.” 

“But maybe I’ll go back to the other project you know?” 

“Memories one?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Yeah, so if you have any vids please... Send them my way, I need some inspiration.” 

He grinned. “For sure.” 

“I....y/n I’ve gotta be honest, I need to talk to you.” 

You felt guilt inside you, maybe he had heard you last night. “About what?” The coffee tasted bittersweet. 

“Tom,” Harry was serious. 

You almost spat the coffee.

“What about him?” You faked ignorance but you couldn’t ignore the tingle in your stomach. 

“You’re gonna be his assistant, y/n, and… I know he really can be an asshole to you,” he started. 

You loosened up as you took a deep breath. “Ah don’t worry, we… talked about that last night, we’ll… be okay, we can be….decent.” 

“But can you?” He questioned. 

“Well,” you clicked your tongue. “We’ll try, and besides... I...” 

“Did you go check his stuff last night?” 

You had checked him just fine, that you had. “I... we... didn’t, but I’ll ask him to send it over to me. Look, I’ll text him just now.” 

You picked out your phone and hovered through your contacts, Tom’s had a crap emoji right next to it. 

Y/n: Hey, send me your schedule, dipshit.  Tom: Hmm, I think I need something in return, love. 

You rolled your eyes as Harry watched you. “He’ll send it later,” you told him. 

Y/N: Not gonna happen.  Tom: I haven’t even asked you anything.  Y/N: No.  Tom: Tell me more.  Y/N: This isn’t sexting. Tom: Nice, and what are you wearing? Y/N: 🖕 Tom: Oh, already asking for a dick pic?  Tom: attachment Tom: 😉

You coughed as you felt your heart stopping, but it was only his schedule. You put your phone away and then watched Harry. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, perfect.” 

Harry sighed as he looked up. “There’s… there’s something else, I need to tell you.” 

You watched him as he paced around the kitchen, he seemed nervous, he really had something to tell you and you knew this wouldn’t go well. What was this all about? 

With Harry, it was always… Complicated. He was your best friend and you could trust him with anything in the world, but sometimes, you’d felt like there was always something in your friendship bothering him. Maybe it was due to the fact that he was so close to Tom and you couldn’t stand him, or maybe it revolved around the fact that Harry was one of the few people whom you’d actually worded it to: ‘I like him’, sure it had been a long time ago, and those feelings had never resurface but Harry knew it. Harry had seen you cry when Tom had made you cry. And Harry had been the one to show up at your house, uninvited to make you feel better after Tom had been an asshole to you. 

But what could Harry really do about it? It was his brother you were talking about, sure he could stop him, but he’d always have to choose Tom over you, because he was his damned brother. 

Would it bother him if he knew you’d slept with him? Probably. 

Probably.

“I… I love Emma,” Harry started. 

That was certainly not where you thought the conversation would go. You grinned, knowingly. “I know, silly.” 

“I…” Harry closed his eyes. “I… really love her, okay, and… Everything else is just…” 

You raised your brows. “Well, that’s amazing, isn’t it?” 

“I..” Harry was shaking. “God, I thought saying this would be easier.” 

“Harry Holland, what are you tryna tell me?” You chuckled with confusion. 

He kept pacing through the room, trying to talk to himself. “I well, look, it’s complicated, and I’m telling you this first because you’re my best friend, alright? And I need you to tell me if I’m doing anything stupid, or… If whatever, I mean, I dunno, maybe it is very silly, but I feel that even after… After all these years when I thought I knew something, I well… Look, it’s… I haven’t even told Sam, and not Tom…” 

“What?” You tilted your head. 

Harry took a deep breath. “I think I’m going to ask her to marry me,” Harry finally blurted it out. 

Well, that was a scene.

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

tag list   @clairesrainbow @underoosmarvel​ @wronglanemendes​  @itsvianny​   @jake-and-amy-are-married​ @starlightfound​   @kill-the-stereo​ @originalpinkpowerranger​ @spidxrparkxr​ @mukesnugget​ @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover​ @organicpurplepants​ @happywolves81​  @nedthegay​ @skylar-mendes​  @sentimentalquackson  @savannah0111​ @spidermansmj14 @soccerstud004​ @marinaabernardii @applenter​ @silver-winter-wolf​    @dark-infernal-instruments​ @claredolphinbear24​ @bookgirlunicorn​  @tomshufflepuff​ @avengersgirllorianna​ @nevertoofarfromivar​ @saintlavrents​ @herofiennestiffinashardinscott.  @tomzfrog​ @tohollandback​ @morganhoran1671 @awkwardfangirl2014​ @spideysimpossiblegirl​  @everythingbooknerd​  @xapham @xapham​ @xxtomxo​ @tomhollandisagod​ @danicarosaline​ @laurfangirl424​ @vintageroses1014516​ @cinnamon-roll-peter​   @the-lost-fairy-tale​ @lala-florez​ @fufaation15 @healthyassdonut​    @ilcveyou3000 @xxtomxo​ @socorroann​ @muffinmari25   @cassindeansass  @rogers-obsessed-barnes-curious​ @southsidespidey @nathaliabakes​ @nathaliabakes​ @marvelstuck​ @embrace-themagic​ @bradfordbantams​ @sanniegirl1214​ @gioandreolli  @peterpandco​ @fairytaleparker​ @underooling​ @griff1ndor​ @chubby-cheek-calum​ @thatweirdomimic​ @avengersgirllorianna​ @reginalaufeyson-holmes @better-daisy​ @yeahimcrying​ @allmonstersxarehuman​ @spider-manholland​ @clairesrainbow @georiaang @sebxstianbarnes​ @kissingtrutharchives​  @snoopy3000​ @prettymessygurl​ @spideyparkerstark​ @fanfic-4-you @lexshead​ @officiallyunofficialperson​ @mannien @whitewolfandthefox​ @melodiclovesong​ @bizzlepotter​ @localfangirlx​  @xxpeachyxo​ @acceptance07​ @witchything​ @witchything​ @swaggyspiderman​ @localfangirlx​  @queengemsworld @liberty01​ @stiles-banshees​ @itsjusttor​ @stretchkingblog97 @annathesillyfriend​ @dangerousluv1​ @tomshufflepuff​ @thewayilookatbacon​ @petersdiaries​ @emjaywrites​ @swaggyspiderman​ @infamousmany​ @jungeunave @bullshitstars23​ @ispiderdudei​ @calhtlland​ @literalfsngirltrash​ @quacksonhq​ @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes​ @desir-ae​ @pxkajesus​ @unbelievableholland​ @peterporkpie​ @justanotherusername80 @smolpeachees​ @thenoddingbunny-blog​ @quackeroos​ @spideyyeet​ @astoldbydanid​ @hollandcreep​ @itscaminow​ @milly7110​ @iriaaarb​ @laurieteddy​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @rebekkah4766​ @farfromtom​ @fancyxholland​ @seaveyheartful​ @oh-whatabeautiful-parker​ @coveredinthemessimade​  @shameless-self-promo-of-a-shrub @dreaming-lia​ @thatdamjoke​ @annathesillyfriend​​ @l0ove-sick-blues @witchything​ @witchything​​ @bookworm06​​  @sandtopearl  @lala-florez​​ @ohfudgeiamgorgeous @chaoticpete​​ @shezzalocked​​ @ @lowkey-love-loki​​ @yoinkyourheart​​ @cosmicholland​​ @frenchfrostpudding @badbitchydecisions​​ @w4ybefor3nir4na​​ @americaswritings​​ @ilovepeterparker13​​ @lukesbabylon​​ @iamaunicorn4704​​ @simple-things​​ @oh-annaa​​ @herondale-snow-carstairs​​ @sip-portteam​​  @farialia​​ @t-holland2080​​ @tony-starks-ego​​ @quaksonhehe​​0 @stargazerholland​​ @marvelslut-musicalnerd @hotrubycrab​​ @sovereignparker​​ @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash​​ @belleknows​​ @mysticalinsomniac​​ @nycparkers​ @itstaskeen​ @anythingthaticareabout​ @spn-assemble-seven​ @tanyalooovesyou​ @cahosinparadise​  @heartofholland​ @peachybloomss​ @youcompletemesk​ 

[skylarmoon71]

Earth 2 Harrison Wells x Reader-Imagine

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Flash.

“Woooo!” you grinned listening through the com link as Jesse and Wally were helping with a robbery. Harry had that constant frown and you just directed your gaze back to the two dots that were zipping after the car. They passed the car easily, forcing the criminals in the vehicle to pull up to a stop. “Alright, cuff them quick, remember don’t let him touch you. “ Barry instructed. 

In a matter of seconds both criminals had no choice but to walk out of the cars. All three speedsters had them cornered. 

“Mission completed. “ Wally said. You fist pumped. “We’re coming in.” Barry said. You pulled out your earplug, awaiting their arrival. You twisted your chair, ready to maybe get a bite to eat. Barry was probably carrying those guys to iron heights. “All in a day's work.” you spoke. When you looked back Harry was still leaned over the desk. You had a feeling you knew why. 

“Hey Oscar, quit being a grouch.” he turned to you with an annoyed look. 

“I don’t appreciate the nicknames you and Cisco insist on using on me.” 

“Well maybe if you smiled once in a while we wouldn’t have too.” he just looked back at his computer. 

“Stop worrying. Jesse’s a smart girl. She knows how to handle herself. She’s your daughter after all.” 

A ghost of a smile made its way on his face. You and Harry never really got along, but every once in a while you would have moments like this. Honestly, you were sporting a huge crush on him. That’s why when he first came you made it your mission to avoid him. Whenever you did bump into him you gave him the cold shoulder. 

You couldn’t trust him, and for good reason. After what happened with Eobard you told yourself you’d never trust anyone with that face again. Little did you know there was an entire multiverse of Wells. 

Lucky you.

As time went on though, it was becoming harder to deny your growing attraction for the man. When you found out about his daughter, your wall slowly crumbled and you made any and all efforts to comfort him. The both of you still bickered though. 

At that point you decided it was better to just give up on your feelings. He obviously didn’t feel the same way. And it didn’t make sense chasing after a man that had no interest in you. 

With that thought you turned, exiting the cortex. 

“Maybe I’ll stop by the store and get some beer.” you could tell it was going to be a long day. Might as well treat yourself with some booze and outdated movies.

~~~

“So what do we have today?” When you strutted into the cortex the next morning you were shocked to see no one there. Harry was the only one at his desk. He looked up, making a face when he saw you. You frowned. You were going to deal with this once and for all. You could deal with him not having feelings for you, but that didn’t give him the right to treat you like crap.

“Hey what’s your deal with me!” you demanded. He looked over, wondering if it was him you were yelling at. 

“Excuse me?” you pointed. “Don't pull that excuse me crap, you know what I’m talking about. Ever since you got here you’ve treated everyone like the dirt beneath your feet. I allowed it at the beginning because you were a grieving parent, but your attitude still stinks, especially with me.” He slammed down his tool.

“I don’t recall  being obligated to be a nice person. I’m not Ramon and Allen. I’m not here to be your friend. My only goal is to help with the new threat that’s it. “ you scoffed. 

“You really are something else. I’m not asking you to be a saint. But would it kill you to wear a smile, or say good morning!!” he walked towards you like a lion approaching it’s prey. You almost backed down when he was standing right in front of you. He was staring you down, and all at once you seemed to lose the ability to speak. He towered you, blue eyes pinning you in your spot. 

“Is there anything else you would like to get off your chest.” his voice was lower and you felt like the air had been smacked right out of you. 

“N-No I-I..I uh..” somehow you forgot how to make actual sentences. 

“I have no desire to be your crouch. Snow told me about your relationship with the previous Wells.” His words made you take a step back. 

“W-What does that have to do with…”

“He broke your heart. Maybe it's your fault for being so naive. “ you felt a pang in your chest at his words. You looked up at him, eyes watering. You weren’t sure how, but at that moment Harry looked like he actually regretted the words he said. He looked down running a hand over his face. 

“Listen that was..I didn’t mean it like that I just-” you didn’t want to hear his explanation. 

“I think you’ve said all that you wanted.” you replied coldly. You tried to hide the tightening in your throat as best you could when you spoke. 

“I won’t waste time trying to get close to another Wells. I should have learned my lesson the first time. “ with that you were gone. Upon your exit you almost crashed into Barry. He held you by the shoulders apologizing. When he saw your fresh tears he tried to find out the reason. You pulled away from him, rushing off. Barry’s eyes moved in Harry’s direction. He looked pissed. 

“What did you say to (Y/N)!” he accused.

“You don’t have to lecture me Allen. I already know I messed up. “ Harry turned back to his desk. He wanted to punch himself. 

~~~~

That night you were tucked in your bed, legs pulled to your chest. The memories of Dr. Wells, or Thawne for that matter replaying in your head. All the sweet words he said to you. How special he said you were. It was all a lie, a facade to ensure he accomplished his goal. You regret everything you ever felt for him. In some sick way Harry was right. If you weren’t blinded by your feelings for him maybe it would have been easier to see through him. Even when you found out about him you never wanted to believe it. But all the evidence was there, and when you confronted the man, when he was standing right in front of you, he never even looked sorry. He just wore that stupid smirk on his face. That sinister smile as he ripped your heart out of your chest and threw it in your face. 

~~

“(Y/N). “ you cursed at the voice behind you. After your little spew with Harry you made it your mission to avoid him. You succeeded for about a week. Of course he was going to find you sooner or later. The person who called you wasn’t Harry though, it was his daughter. You turned to her, forcing a smile on your face. “Hey..” you said a bit awkwardly. You could tell by the look on her face that she wanted an explanation. “What’s going on with you and Dad. “ you were hoping she wouldn’t ask that. “Nothing, you know us we could hardly stand each other.” 

She placed a hand on her hip. “Yeah, usually you’re going at it  like an old married couple, but you haven’t talked in so long and dad he’s..he’s not acting like himself.” you were a bit worried. Then you remembered why you were angry at him.

“That’s not my problem.” you stated flatly. You knew it was mean, but he was the one that said those things to you. He had no right. 

Jesse looked ready to say something, but the person you were dreading walked out from behind her and you suddenly felt like crying again. 

He stepped forward and just as he opened his mouth alarms started blaring. You flinched and Jesse braced. “Someone’s in Star Labs!” she bolted out to scope out the threat and Harry moved closer to you. 

“You can yell at me later. Right now just stay close.” he instructed. You nodded. As much as he made your blood boil, it wouldn’t do any good if a dangerous meta was loose and either of you got hurt because of a spat. 

You followed close behind as he moved in the direction of the cortex. When you made it to the entrance Barry was putting cuffs on an unconscious Jesse. Harry ran over in a panic. 

“Allen what the hell are you doing!!” Barry waved his hands about to explain. Caitlin was kneeling down, retracting the needle from the girl's skin. 

“Those metahumans we took down last week. Somehow they got out of Iron Heights. I think one of the guards slipped up. One of them has manipulative powers.” He informed. 

“They twist your view. Jesse thought we were the enemy. “ Caitlin added. 

“I had to take her out before she could get hurt. I locked one of them up in the pipeline but the other is somewhere here. “ Barry interjected. He looked down at the computer, trying to pull up footage of the halls. 

“Try right behind you.” you spun around just in time for him to press his hands on your forehead. A red light glowed in his palm, passing through your skin. Barry zipped forward, shoving the male away from you. The meta crashed into the wall, falling down and  passing out from the force of the blow. Barry wasted no time, cuffing him quickly. 

Harry looked over to check you. “Stay back Harry, she's been hit.” Caitlin advised. She had a syringe in her hand, unsure of how to administer the shot without provoking you. 

“Give it to me, I could get close enough in a second. “ You turned to Barry and you screamed in terror. He looked back, shocked to see the level of fear in your eyes as you backed up against the wall. 

“Please don’t hurt him I’ll do anything please!!” you were pleading. Barry approached, raising his hands to show you he didn’t mean any harm. 

“Hey (Y/N). Listen it’s me Barry.” he pulled off his cowl, but that just triggered you more. 

“Don’t hurt them Dr. Wells I’m begging you! Please don’t, I’ll do anything!!” Barry froze, he recalled you saying those words before. 

“S-She’s..she’s reliving a memory.” he muttered in recognition. 

Harry stared. “What do you mean by memory? I thought he just manipulates your concept of the present reality. “ Caitlin shook her head. “They morph reality yes, but reality for everyone is different. Some people see their friends as enemies. Others face a reality they can’t control. One they feel powerless in” Harry couldn’t believe it. The level of horror on your face hurt him. When he made that statement about Dr. Wells he knew he crossed a line. What he didn’t realize was the level of emotional damage Thawne actually did to you. You weren’t a meta. So when he attacked you couldn’t do anything but stand there and watch as he tried to kill your friends. 

Harry took the syringe from Caitlin’s hands, storming over to your direction. He couldn’t see you like this. When he was standing directly in front of you your eyes widened and you tried to scramble away. 

“D-DON’T!” Harry pressed the needle into your neck. It took a while, but slowly, your eyes started to lower. Just as you were about to pass out you looked directly at him. 

“Harry..” you said softly. He smiled, removing the needle. He tossed it to the side, cradling you into his arms. “I’ve got you, don’t worry. You’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you again. “

Barry and Caitlin watched from the back, both a bit stunned by the level of care the man displayed when holding you.

~~

You groaned, holding your head as you tried to sit up. When you finally came to, Caitlin was right at your side with a smile. 

“Look who’s finally up.” you gave her a weak smile, leaning against the head of the bed. 

“I got socked by that meta didn’t I?”

“Affirmative.” she said cheekily. You just laughed. “Wow, my head feels like I got hit by a bus.” She jotted something down before placing a hand to your forehead.

“I think that’s my fault. I made that in a rush in case those metahumans got a hold of our speedsters. Unfortunately a shot like that does the trick but the dose isn’t really easy on regular people. “

“Noted.” you looked over, noticing Barry and Jesse standing at the door.

“ You really gave me a scare. How are you feeling?” Barry’s question made you shoot him a look.

“Sorry, I guess it was a stupid question. But hey at least we caught the guys.” you nodded. 

“That’s good.” Barry was still watching you. “(Y/N), I just wanted you to know. What happened with Thawne..it wasn’t your fault. We know it hurt you maybe far worse than any of us.” you looked at him a bit taken aback. A shaky breath exited your lips. “Y-Yeah, you don’t have to worry about it. I'm over all that. It’s been months.” He shook his head. 

“There’s no time stamp on how long those types of wounds heal. If you ever wanna talk, we’re all right here.” Caitlin and even Jesse smiled, agreeing with him. You gave another nod. 

“Thanks guys, I appreciate it.” Jesse grinned. 

“Of course, by the way. There is someone who’s just as worried. “ before you could ask you felt the wind blow your hair back. When she reappeared there was someone with her. 

“Jesse I told you not to-” his complaints stopped when his eyes landed on you. She unhooked her arms and at that moment everyone started to make their exit. You turned to Caitlin with pleading eyes, begging her not to leave. She gave you a thumbs up, vanishing around the hall. 

When it was just the two of you, you shifted back into the bed. 

“Listen I-”

“I apologize.” Harry cut you off. You stared at him. Not sure if you heard him right. 

“Wait..did you just say..” he stepped closer, taking a seat at the edge of your bed. Him being so close made you readjust your position. You picked at the sheets nervously. 

“I was unaware of how deep Thawne’s wounds scarred you. Then I made a comment that was uncalled for. I apologize.” you bit down on your lip. 

“I’m sorry too.” you said finally. “It was childish of me to avoid you like I did. I should have just talked to you. The truth is you were right. I let my feelings dictate everything I do. The feelings I had for him and the ones I have for you.” Harry looked over at your words. 

“I-I like you Harry.” you confessed. “Y-You look just like him so I told myself never to go down that road again. But little by little I couldn't help but be intrigued by you, attracted to you. I’m so stupid!” you said, fresh tears falling down your cheeks. Harry moved closer scooping you into his arms. 

“Don’t say that you're far from stupid. “ you clenched your hands into his clothing.

“I am..I am the foolish one. I’m just as much attracted to you.” he whispered. You pulled back.

“W-What..” his hands rested on your cheek, wiping any evidence of your tears.

“I distanced myself because I thought you were only seeking solace in me to replace him. I was cruel to you because it was the only thing I could do to deny just how much your presence affected me. I’m completely and utterly infatuated with you (Y/N).” you swallowed. He was so close now. “If I haven’t already ruined my chances, I would like an opportunity to show you just how much I care about you.” 

“Okay..” you mumbled. With the way he was looking at you now there wasn’t much you could say. His thumb traced the outline of your cheekbone. 

Everywhere he touched felt like a spark to your skin. His lips met your own in a slow, hesitant kiss. It wasn’t much at first, just the innocent touching of lips. 

After a few moments you wanted more. Your hands tightened their hold on his clothing as you tried to pull him closer. He complied, pressing you softly into the mattress. You sighed at the feel of him. Your hands slipped into his hair and he gave a soft appreciative sound. Your stomach twirled at the little noise. Your hands wandered, you hooked your fingers into the hoops of his pants, pulling. His hips thrusted into you and you gasped. Your lips disconnected and Harry continued pressing kisses to your skin as you tried to regain your breath. 

“We should...probably...stop..”you forced out in between pants. 

“Agreed, they could..walk in at any time..” he was still pressing heated kisses to your body. His leg moved between your own and you moaned, looking at him a bit startled. Harry smirked down at you. “Then again, I think I’ve been holding out too long. Something tells me you have too.” you gulped when you felt his hand travelling under your clothing. 

“H-Harry..” you whined weakly. You whimpered when he squeezed your breast. 

“I finally have you, I’m not sure I really want to stop..” he growled into you ear. 

Someone clearing their throat made you both turn. 

“Allen.” Harry said sharply. Barry looked uncomfortable, like he regretted even coming in. 

“N-Nevermind, It can wait. “ he dove out of there faster than you’d ever seen. 

Harry’s eyes fixed back on you. 

“Now where were we.” 

[unexpectedreylo]

Here It Is:  My Spoilerific Review/Post Mortem of TROS

When I saw The Last Jedi two years ago, the movie haunted me for days, for weeks, for months.  It inspired the imagination, dragging me into the world of Reylo and reassuring whatever reservations I had about the post-Lucas sequel trilogy.

The Rise of Skywalker haunts me too but more in a “Demon House” kind of way.  It fires up the imagination, but more in the sense that it keeps you up at night thinking of all of the ways it could’ve been better.

This isn’t to say I hate the movie.  I don’t.  It’s not even entirely or mostly bad which is what makes it extra frustrating.  You can laugh your way through a total disaster like “Cats” or “The Room” but a movie with plenty of promise and of talent behind it that makes some bad decisions is tragic.  Especially since this is the closing chapter to a trilogy and the saga itself.

You can see there are bones for what could’ve been a really good, maybe even great movie.  One of my favorite parts was the opener where Kylo Ren literally descends into hell/the underworld to confront the devil for no other reason than he didn’t even want Satan above him, a man who serves no gods or devils.   (That right there is a classic Byronic hero.)  Exogol is a great haunted house/spooky setting.  The revelation that it was Palpatine manipulating him all along was a shocker and makes Ben’s story that much more poignant.  I also really liked the contrast with Rey’s introduction, a beautiful shot of her in the verdant forest floating among rocks as she’s meditating.  She is Persephone in her element (which makes the ending all that more baffling but don’t worry, I’m getting to that).

This sets the stage for the revelation that the two are part of an intriguing concept, a Force dyad, kind of a Star Wars version of soulmates maybe even twin flames.  The two just had to acknowledge the feelings between them, reunite, and take out the Sith trash while Rey finally confronts her own dark side.   I don’t mind the latter concept at all because with the trilogy’s thickest plot armor, I think it’s valuable to put her in some peril and to have her better understand Kylo/Ben.

Abrams also wanted to recapture the feel of 1980s blockbusters like the Indiana Jones films or The Goonies, both made by his old mentor Steven Spielberg.  That’s most palpable when the Space Scoops Troop, er “trio,” falls into quicksand and pokes around an underground cave looking for one of the film’s many MacGuffins.  Abrams does good set pieces and powers them along with snappy dialogue.  Like TFA, it’s peppered with some genuinely funny scenes.

If nothing else, you can’t blame the cast for any of the film’s problems.  Everyone does the best they can with what they’re given and the long-standing chemistry between various pairs (Adam and Daisy, John and Oscar, Adam and Harrison Ford for example) do a lot to serve their scenes.  I think Oscar’s best scene was when he confesses to Leia lying in state that he doesn’t know if he can be the leader the Resistance needs.  It’s an honest, human moment.  Daisy continues to infuse Rey with her natural luminance.  I particularly liked the few quiet moments she has, such as meeting the children on Pasaana or healing the snake.  It shows her compassion and foreshadows healing Ben.

Daisy does pretty well with what she is given about struggling with her dark side.  (Remember, she didn’t write her own screenplay.)  Maybe it’s unpopular to say this but I kind of liked her brief turn as “Dark Rey.”  I have no doubt had she turned dark she would be pretty scary.  Her desire for revenge and fear of her own nature--driven by genetics or not--were intriguing concepts and I thought she tried to make the most of it in her performance.

Ah Adam Driver.  God bless that man.  He brings his considerable A-game 100% of the time no matter what and it shows.  He could sell sand on Tatooine.  I have no idea why they put the mask back on him other than a marketing department decision as I suspected, but taking it off when he’s making his appeal to Rey before she leaps out to the Falcon carries a gravity few people can pull off.  His reconciliation with Han was one of the film’s highlights.  For once the repetitive nature of the script actually worked in TROS’s favor, as Kylo retraces his steps in that fateful scene from TFA and finds a way to clear his conscience.  I also think this was originally meant to help the audience forgive him, especially since right after this he renounces the dark side.  Which makes later choices baffling, which I’ll get to.  Driver’s shiniest shining moment though is when he is once again Ben Solo.  Deprived of dialogue for the rest of the film other than “ow,” he nevertheless manages to convey a different personality that is very much Han Solo’s son.  His fight scene is right out of a 1970s martial arts movie, imbued with determination and sass.  I want to see a trilogy about THAT guy.

The Reylo scenes are, well, until it goes south, wonderful.  Some of us would’ve  preferred a lot less fighting but I see it as mostly Rey trying to deny herself and Kylo not being sure if he really wants Rey to turn to the dark side.  (On that note, I wish we’d seen Rey’s vision of sharing a throne with Kylo rather than just hear her talk about it.)   As I predicted, the turning point of the relationship came after the lightsaber battle on the Death Star wreckage.  I find it interesting that Kylo hesitates to kill Rey--partially because of his mother’s influence--and it’s she who could’ve killed him.  She immediately recognizes the dark side was turning her into something she didn’t want to be and nearly costs her the man that deep down she loves.  She heals him completely and along with her confession that she would’ve taken Ben’s hand, his soul is nearly healed by the power of love alone.  Which makes the film’s later choices baffling.  If you think about it, Ben’s turn is even more dramatic than Vader’s.  Vader chose his son over the Emperor at the last minute, some inkling of his light still there shining through at the right moment under duress.  Ben flat out rejects the dark side of his own volition.  That is pretty powerful.  Which makes the ending far more painful.

Rey and Ben’s one big romantic moment was tender and sweet and that was a pretty good kiss.  We finally get to see Ben’s big toothy grin.  Even though we all hate it, Driver did an amazing job conveying first his sorrow over Rey, then his relief, his joy, his love, and finally his strength leaving him.

Visually, the film looks great.  I think J.J. did an even better job shooting this film than TFA.  Adding to the visuals is the fabulous art direction.  They hired supervising art director Paul Inglis immediately after his previous flick Blade Runner 2049 came out, and that decision paid off.  This leaves the film with a number of beautifully-rendered scenes, whether it’s the haunted house scary underworld beneath Exogol, Kylo Ren’s starkly white quarters, the landscapes of Pasaana, the stormy seas around the Death Star II’s wreckage, the shot of Rey hesitating in the Star Destroyer’s hangar before leaping out to the Falcon, or Rey meditating among the floating rocks during her introduction.

I liked D-O and Babu Frick.  I even liked the lady who complimented Kylo’s helmet.  

Where do I start having problems?  The first time I saw the movie the scenes with Leia didn’t bother me but the second time I saw it, it was far more apparent they wrote around the bits of footage they had left.  It was a valiant effort to make Carrie Fisher part of the last film she never had the chance to perform in but it didn’t feel organic.  Since Leia dies during the movie anyway, I don’t know why having her pass away offscreen in between TLJ and TROS is less merciful to the audience than having her body lie beneath a sheet for half the film.  No wonder Billie Lourd skipped the premiere of this flick.  I couldn’t take it if it were my mother either.

On my second viewing, the Resistance base scenes started to get on my nerves.  Maybe it’s because I got tired of looking at the same group of like 10 people over and over.  Maybe I was annoyed that the only purpose of those scenes was to earnestly spout exposition.  Now, exposition is important.  I’m surprised Abrams, notorious for not bothering with it even if it’s necessary, even did this much.  But there was something about George Lucas’s Rebel base scenes that made these people look and act like guerrilla soldiers.  Maybe it was Lucas’s experience shooting films with Navy guys as a student, or his documentary style.  Abrams’s Resistance behave more like college students and activists than soldiers.  

But TROS’s biggest problems lie in its breakneck pacing and its writing.  Parts that should’ve had greater emotional resonance don’t because it moves along too fast.  I would’ve sacrificed one of the set pieces/action scenes or chuck one of the pointless new characters for the sake of deepening the relationship between Kylo and Rey or showing us more Ben Solo.

Some of the characterizations seemed off.  I know a lot of fans are deeply unhappy Rose Tico didn’t get to do much but I was surprised to see her in it even to the degree she was there.  What gets me about the whole Rose thing was her relationship with Finn is totally forgotten FOR NO REASON.  Really, why drop it?  There was no narrative purpose for doing so!  

General Hux is totally wasted in this film, reduced to little more than a cameo.  Sure it might be a surprising twist that “I am the spy!!!” (LOL) but his reasons for it are totally OOC.  He might despise Kylo Ren but to the point of helping the Resistance?  This is the guy who cheerfully blew up the Hosnian Prime system and wanted to blow up more.  He’s evil, a psychopath, a true believer in the First Order.  He might give the Resistance a tip that would result in embarrassing Kylo Rey and use that to start a coup against him but just helping the Resistance out of petulance and spite?  Nah.

Poe tries in this film to be a combination of rogue and deadly earnest idealist, but you generally don’t find those two qualities in the same person.  One second he’s talking about smuggling space dope, the next second he’s saying stuff like “Good people will fight if we lead them!”

Finn, God love him, is reduced to largely running around yelling, “Reeeey!” and eagerly trying to tell Rey something but the film never really got around to what it was.  It wasn’t until a Q&A session that Abrams revealed Finn was trying to tell Rey he was Force sensitive (something that should’ve been developed over the course of the trilogy).  Abrams had time to show us a random lesbian kiss for representation points, but no time for Finn to tell Rey he was Force sensitive?  Huh?

The story not only contradicts the previous films--I wonder if Abrams even saw his own movie TFA much less anything else besides the OT--it contradicts itself throughout.  Palpatine’s return is never really explained and his motives with Rey keep changing.  MacGuffins are added on top of MacGuffins with side missions thrown in.  Chewbacca is blown up then he’s miraculously alive on another transport we didn’t see.  Abrams and Chris Terrio didn’t just add to Rey’s origins, they blatantly spackled over it and TLJ’s overall message.  Discovering one is of evil origins is a gothic storytelling trope but really, it should’ve been developed since the first film so it doesn’t feel like whiplash from something else.  Everyone keeps telling Rey don’t be afraid of who you really are, but Rey ultimately does nothing but run from who she really is.  With each reversal, retcon, or contradiction in the film, it leaves a mess.  We’re supposed to believe Rey was better off sold to Unkar Plutt than be with her not-so-bad parents?   Who the bloody hell had sex with Darth Sidious?  You mean to tell me Luke and Leia knew all along Rey was a Palpatine but they never bothered to say anything and somehow they had more confidence in her than in their own flesh and blood?  Oh while we’re at it, I noticed the second time I saw the movie they straight up gave away Ben’s death before it happened!  WTF?  “Leia saw her son’s death at the end of her Jedi path.”  It seems like Luke and Leia were resigned to Ben’s fate as some horrible destiny that couldn’t be changed but Rey was still an open book to them.  That’s so stupid and really fellow OT fans, how does this respect our childhood faves?  Han comes off as the only decent person in this thing.

Rey and Ben taking on the Emperor was a great applause moment, the dyad unified against the ultimate evil.  For the most part it was fantastic...until The Yeetening.  Two things annoy me about the remainder of the conflict against Palpatine.  One, Rey and Ben should have destroyed Palpatine together.  If Rey could do it on her own then what the hell did she need Ben for?  He could’ve sat out the rest of the movie at Starbucks and remained alive while Rey killed Palps on her own.  There’s no point to their combined power because it wasn't necessary.  Two, while poor redeemed I-turned-back-to-the-light Ben was crawling up the pit with no help from anyone, every good guy we ever knew of in Star Wars, even from the cartoons, is giving a voice over pep talk to Rey.  (It seems cheap too since we don’t see the characters.  Avengers Endgame did this kind of thing far better.)  How about if the pep talk was given to the BOTH of them?  That Anakin Skywalker, the man Ben had idolized, had time to say “wakey-wakey” to his tormentor’s granddaughter and not his own grandson is appalling.  The third thing is while Darth Vader defeated Palpatine with the love for his son and his long-gone wife, Rey defeats Palpatine simply with power.  Rey and Ben’s love for each other could’ve been the force that defeats the Sith once and for all but for some reason it doesn’t occur to Abrams and Terrio.

I could’ve forgiven most of this--the jar of Snickles and all--had they got the resolution right.  But they didn’t.

ROTJ and ROTS’s endings were masterful.  ROTJ gives you an idea of what trajectory our heroes were likely to follow:  Han and Leia were going to end up together, Luke was going to bring forth the next generation of Jedi.  ROTS sets up Obi-Wan on Tatooine, Yoda on Dagobah, Leia on Alderaan, Luke on Tatooine, Darth Vader on a Star Destroyer, and poor Padmé on her way to Star Wars Heaven.  I have no idea what happens to Finn.  Maybe he’ll train with Rey.  Maybe he’ll go to college.  Maybe he’ll backpack through Europe.  I have no idea.  His story just stops.  Same deal with Poe.  Aside from getting shot down by Zorii, what’s he going to do?  The film gives zero indication.  It goes from the Free Hugs session to Rey squatting at the old Lars homestead.

The biggest crimes though occur to Ben and Rey.  Ben’s death sucked all of the air out of the film.  Yes, it’s beautiful that Ben loved Rey so much and so selflessly he was willing to surrender his life for hers.     It’s beautiful that it never mattered to Ben who Rey was, whether it was “nobody” in the last movie or the granddaughter of his tormentor/enemy in this one.  Had the Palpatine concept been there all along, there would’ve been something sweet about healing the rift originating in the prequels.  But I wanted Ben to live.  I wanted for once for someone to address the issue of atonement but Terrio and Abrams were too lazy to bother.   If The Grinch could be redeemed AND find atonement with those he wronged in a 30 minute Christmas special with commercials, then why not Ben Solo in a 150-minute movie?  

I could have lived with a sacrifice arc though had it been handled correctly.  But they flubbed it big time.  The sacrifice isn’t honored at all.  He just dies, he vanishes as Leia’s body vanishes, and he’s “never to be seen again.” Or mentioned.  Rey barely reacts on camera.  It’s as though reviving Ben from certain death, choosing good over evil, making a valiant attempt to save his girlfriend armed only with a blaster, and giving his life for hers weren’t valued by anyone.  The movie didn’t give a damn.  When Vader died in ROTJ, he at least had final words with Luke who then burns Vader’s remains on a pyre.  We see Anakin restored to his true self join the Force Ghost crew at the end of the movie.  We got none of this with Ben.

It’s also the most frustrating and disappointing disruption of a romantic arc since 1980′s “Somewhere In Time.”  In that film, Christopher Reeve travels back to 1912 and finds true love with Jane Seymour.  Everything is going great and Reeve’s character has made the choice to stay in that time and marry Seymour.  Then he pulls out a 1979 penny and is sent “back to the future” as Seymour screams.  At least that film though had the decency to reunite the love birds in the afterlife.  Which might explain why the movie still has a cult following to this day.  Tragic love stories always make sure there’s some kind of catharsis for the audience.  Rose takes Jack’s name, lives her life as he asked her to do for him, tells his story, and reunites with him when she dies.  Romeo and Juliet are united in death and the healing of their respective houses begins.  Even Padmé got a state funeral and had the legacy of her children.  There was no such catharsis for Rey and Ben.

Rey ends up right where she started:  alone and in the desert.  She got the Dorothy ending, there’s no place like home.  But the difference is Dorothy is a child not yet ready for the big scary world and the answers to her problems weren’t out there but right where she was.  Rey is a grown woman.  She should’ve been treated like one.  Instead she is deprived of her lover/soulmate and while such a separation should have been painful, it doesn’t even register.  She has a “found family” but they’re not there with her.  She’s in a home others tried to escape from, haunted by ghosts instead of being among those she loves.  Taking the Skywalker name seems tacked on, as though they realized if the name is to live on somebody needed to take it.  Why not then just have made her Han and Leia’s or Luke’s daughter in the first place?  It’s worse when you remember it’s a Palpatine who’s usurping the name.  Or when you realize she’s still hiding who she is.  

Here’s what would’ve been better.  Rey tells the Resistance about the pure selflessness of the Skywalkers and she wants that to be the core value of the new Jedi going forward, where every new student was going to learn their story.  Then we see her anywhere but Tatooine, happy and surrounded by students of all ages.  Maybe Finn training too.  She sees the approving Force ghosts of Leia, Luke, and Anakin.  Then Ben, clearly a different entity, materializes beside her.

Or something, anything other than what we got.

It’s as though they kept making story decisions without giving any thought at all to their implications.  They tried to do too much while being lazy about it.  They went for expedience--copy pasting ROTJ when convenient--over meaning.

The ending accomplishes what no other Star Wars film has done to me in 42 years of being a fan...it broke my heart and fulfilled my worst suspicions about where the ST was going to end up, largely due to its deflating ending and terrible denouement.  It leaves for me and many other fans a big gaping open wound, not closure.  

Ultimately the sequel trilogy’s biggest flaw is that there clearly was no plan.  What we got was a billion dollar game of exquisite cadaver with no real design for characters, their arcs, the story, or even what message these films are supposed to have.  Every decision was based on the director’s own ideas along with corporate meddling.  So we get conflicting ideas and blatant spackling over what the last director didn’t like. Was Kylo Ren meant to be a guy we love to hate or a lost boy we want to come home?   Was Rey a heroine we can all aspire to be or a lost princess of darkness?  What the hell was the point of Finn or Poe?  What does this add to the saga overall aside from more stuff?  Who are these films even for, old OT fans or young fans?  I believe it’s this lack of a plan that has generated so much confusion and bitter internet wars among fandom.  

[sailingintothenight]

“WANNABE.” T.H. Imagine.

And what if after years of chasing each other like a cat and mouse, you and Tom started to wonder if you wanna be something else in each other's life?

A/N: I am posting a one shot after weeks of writer's block. I hope you like it. It's 9:30 pm in Peru and it's still April 28, so it's still my birthday! Give it a try. Pleaseeeeee! And yes, I borrowed a scene from Mean Girls (Because I loveeee that movie)

“Hello God, it's me again, (y/n). What's up? I know we haven't talked much lately, but, hey, listen, I have a favor to ask you- I have behaved well, I haven’t gotten drunk at any crazy party of any Hollywood star and I haven't accepted drugs, ever: I'm afraid my grandmother will appear in my room as a ghost and pull my blankets in the middle of the night, plus, I haven't make out with any Stone-cold Hollywood hottie, and trust me, I've had more than one chance. Anyway, about the favor–”

"Yes, but (y/n)'s grandfather invited us to his birthday party..."

Tom's voice startles you and cuts off your internal dialogue, turning you back to the reality.

It’s 6 am. The sun shines in the clear sky, and you are on a flight back to England in a luxury privet jet that is about to arrive at the airport, while Haz, Harry, Tom and you are sitting in comfortable velvety seats, with the view of morning sky on your left side. 

The exciting memory of your last recording still seemed to run through your veins, too exciting to let you sleep. Because that was the end, the goodbye after incredible months. All your efforts from the past months were hidden behind that last performance that looked like a fantasy, except for the kiss, ugh, you had to erase it from your mind. But now, you're going back home, ready to take a break away from the set-up bridge and blue and green backgrounds, away from the makeup artists who gave your face the final touches of the magic of Hollywood, far from the suit of a superhero who had just won her last battle and who got the cute boy, Peter Parker.

But not far away from Tom Holland.

Because evil takes a human form in Tom Holland, your lifelong neighbor.

How do you even begin to explain Tom Ho– Stop, people say that if you pronounce his name 3 times a curse falls on you.

But fans say Tom Holland is flawless, you heard his curly hair is insured for 10,000 dollars, his favorite movie is “Spider-man Homecoming”, duh, and very soon, “far from home”. One time he met Robert Downey Jr. in his own village and he started hyperventilating, and once he threw a fan's phone on the floor and she said it was awesome.

"Please don't tell me you're going to his birthday party." You complain, because you can't help it.

"Would that bother you that much, darling?" Tom smiles, tilting his head back so that his tender smile fits perfectly with his tender face. “Then of course I will go. Also, your grandfather still has the hope his granddaughter would get a man like me.”

"Ew. Why would my dear grandfather want me to be with someone who enjoys keeping a frog in his mouth?" You ask, earning yourself an Oscar for best actress with the innocence you exude and the seriousness you manage to put on your face, even when Tom's eyes narrow from the attack you just launched, while, enjoying the show, his friend and his younger brother laughs, shaking heads with a familiar expression on their faces because of the familiar discussion between you and him that happens, every two or three days. "Seriously, Tom, give the poor Henry a break."

"Henry?" Tom asks with real confusion, his accent thick, while the other male voices ask it in a collective whisper too.

"I named your frog Henry, hope it doesn't bother you." And you laugh, victorious to feel how Tom exhales the air through his nose.

“Seriously, (y/n), when will you confess that you are in love with me? You don't have to be so shy, darling.” Tom laughs too, using his finger to tap your nose, because he knows perfectly well that you don't like that, just as you don't like being called darling anymore. “Ray is a wise man, you should listen to your grandfather."

"Yes, if you like skinny ones."

"I'm not skinny. I have the perfect body.” Tom defends himself.

"For now, but in a couple of years you will named your big belly as your dad does after drinking with mine." You laugh like a little girl because you love Dom, because he's warm and funny, because he loves his wife and children, and because of how funny he is when he and your dad have had too much alcohol, like the time they started a cartwheel contest in the middle of the street. "Who's there? It's Dom Junior.”

"Shut up! My dad is still sexy!” A heavy silence falls over the small place as everyone looks at Tom with furrowed brows and true confusion, but that's when he realizes the choice of words he used to refer to his dad. "That's not what I meant!"

You raise your hands in a sign of peace, your gaze avoiding his as you stop yourself from laughing and mocking him.

"That's so wrong, Tom." Harry says, with a certain bittersweet taste on the tip of his tongue. "Now because of you I won't be able to see dad's belly the same way."

Harry and Haz chuckle at Dom's expense.

But when the jet landed smoothly on the headlight-lit runway in the early hours of the morning, the heavy hours from the past months feels now as if they weighed the same as a feather, pain and exhausting sleepless nights disappeared in the blink of an eye, and now, there is no oceans that could make you feel far away, because in the end, you always came back home.

"Besides..." You say to finish that conversation, your backpack on your shoulder before making the victory path towards the stairs to get off the plane. "I would like a boyfriend who can grow a mustache, not like the failed attempt on your face. Thank you very much."

"Hey!" Tom frowns as you pass him by, and his voice rises even higher than it already is. "My doctor says it's just a hormone problem."

"Damn, bro..." Harry laughs as he puts an arm around Tom's shoulder, giving him a brotherly hug before walking out to the car waiting outside. “(Y/n) will be hard to catch, you know? But try it, maybe you will make it in this century."

Harry laughs, and then, walks out of the plane.

"What does that mean?" Tom asks Harrison, who is still waiting by his side.

"I think he meant that you are in love with (y/n), but you haven't noticed it yet."

Harrison chuckles, but after patting Tom on the back, he rushes to place a hand on his best friend's shoulder to stop him.

“Hey, mate… you, uh…” Tom's eyes soften, almost to the point where his brown eyes resembled the gaze of a little 5-year-old boy, sad, and lost. “You haven't told anyone why we came back, right?”

“Of course not.” Harrison says, and his gaze smiles just like his lips. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? We are home, you are home. You can take the time you need to rest.”

Tom nods, unsure, but tries to be strong as they both get off the plane. 

The gray autumn clouds hang with invisible strings in the sky as Tom Holland, actor, handsome, wealthy, and the loneliest person in the world, releases a deep breath that is lost among the sounds of the world, because his world is no longer sparkling or velvety thanks to the cameras or a red carpet, and while his new movie is a box office hit that never in his best dreams he would have imagined, something wasn't right for him.

That’s why he is back home.

The car ride is silent as some sleep, except you and Tom, because your eyes seem to recognize the streets you grew up in, because your hearts recognize your home. But for Tom, he recalls tilting his body to the left and a camera captured his best actor pose a week ago, but since then, his body has felt null, as if floating in the air and no longer responding to his orders. He was crystal clear, but a few people seemed to see clearly through him. Tom tries to convince himself that the tickling in his hands is his body's response to tiredness and not his anxiety, because he suffers it too, but he feels that something is eating his soul.

"Are you okay, Tom?"

Among a sea of ​​people, Tom Holland has always pretended to be an interesting person, but now, he takes a deep breath and looks at you, nervous, lost in the middle of that huge world, but you, looking back at him gives him peace, because he doesn’t feel alone anymore. 

What did you think? That someone is interested in knowing if you are really okay? Of course they care, right?

“Of course, darling.” Tom smiles, as if in a snap of fingers, everything is fine.

But there, he catches a movement of yours.

You tilt your head to the side, like his beloved Tessa when she is curious about something, but he doesn't say it out loud because you would take it the wrong way, but the movement in slow motion worthy of a Hollywood scene and the serenity of your gaze makes Tom hold his breath, that breath that previously didn't fit his chest with so many problems that he carried inside.

But suddenly he can breathe again, finally.

“Okay.”

The minutes pass until the car stops on a street that you two recognize perfectly. When everyone is out, the car leaves, but because your favorite boys are about to leave, too, you hug everyone as the promise to celebrate Harrison's birthday next week hangs in the air. You love them so much, because they are beautiful people who helped you to save yourself from the storms of doubts and fears, each of them in their own charming way, and for that, you were grateful.

"My friend Danielle is coming so I would like you to meet her, Haz." You chuckle adorably before leaving, noting that Harrison's smile is as real as his desire to meet her.

"I'm looking forward to it, darling."

"Wait, why he can call you darling?" Tom says, and for a second, you see a sparkle in the brightness of his eyes, but as the door of his house opens and his beloved Tessa runs to receive him, the confusion disperses like the morning haze.

"There she is the only darling you will ever get, Thomas."

And the moment you turn around, because the door of your house opens too, you lose sight of Tom's honest smile and the question that he hides behind his sweet eyes. Was he in love with you all this time without realizing it? And what if he wanna be your boyfriend? 

Oh, right. The favor that you were going to ask God for? To get you a boyfriend, a cute one, a hot one... maybe like Tom. Weird, isn't it?

Tag list: @galaxies-of-the-heart​

[hyperfixationspam]

jonmartin voice requests transcript

i don’t think anybody’s made a transcript of the requests from the gaming & giving stream yet so here it is. i cut out the first few minutes where they’re just getting ready and a few minutes at the end, but otherwise it’s the full thing

ALEX (out of character): So, we are going to be going through a bunch of reads which are what people have been, basically providing us to say. I’ve not seen these beyond checking that I can open the document, so this is sort of, a bit of a blind read on my end.

JONNY: I’ve read through some of them and they are awful.

ALEX: (laughing) Fabulous. Great. So with that in mind, I’m now opening it up. Um... okay, cool, so for the first one, you- I need to interrupt you. (frustrated) Oh, fine.

JONNY: Okay, so this is from donut_bridgetrose. (spooky voice) The Magnus Archives is a podcast-

ALEX (ooc, very loud and overenthusiastic): FUCK, DUDE! YEAH IT SURE IS!

(Jonny starts laughing out of shock)

ALEX: I thought that was an appropriate level of enthusiasm.

JONNY: (laughing) Sorry, I didn’t expect you to put quite so much pepper on that one!

ALEX: I mean, I don’t know what to say like-

JONNY: No, fair enough, fair enough.

ALEX: I’m just reading with (???) intent. I’m up next, who’s this one from?

JONNY: Uh, reatx.

ALEX: Okay, given the writing of this one, I’m going to assume this is actually intended as a Martin one, not an Alex one, so I’ll do it as such. (clears throat to do Martin voice, disappointed tone) Jon, please j-just stop reheating tea in the microwave!

JONNY: The next one is from sofairycakes. Again, I’m gonna assume it’s a- like, I think these are all pretty much JonMartin ones, to be honest. I don’t think anyone’s actually said- the thing is, Alex, I don’t think anyone actually cares what *we* say.

ALEX: (laughs) That’s true. So I think we need to do this one like-

JONNY: No one’s paying to have, like, Alexander J. Newall say something, you know?

ALEX: It’s fine, I’ll pay me. Okay, I think we have to do this simultaneously.

JONNY: Yeah, because it says “both.” Or... let’s- do you want to go first?

ALEX: I don’t know if it is- no, let’s say it together, let’s say it together. Let’s try and sync up.

JONNY: I don’t- I don’t think they want it simultaneously. I think what this means is they don’t mind which one’s which.

ALEX: Very well, in which case then, I’ll go first.

JONNY: Okay.

ALEX: And I’ll do it as a Martin one, then. (clears throat, Martin voice, soft) I-I’ll take care of you.

JONNY (Archivist): (hoarse, upset voice) It’s rotten work.

ALEX (Martin): Not to me. Not if it’s you. (ooc) There you go.

JONNY: Okay. Ac3yspac3y-

(Alex laughs)

JONNY: Or, ace 3 space 3.

ALEX: Okay, great.

JONNY: (clears throat)

ALEX: Yeah, really get the-

JONNY (ooc, looking straight at the camera): Four rats in a trench coat is the best Peter Lukas, and we love him.

ALEX: (laughs) Direct to camera address, very nice, okay. (as Martin) Jon, why isn’t Lonely Eyes *our* ship name? (ooc) Who was that from, by the way?

JONNY: That was from compostwitch. Next one is from theoceaninmotion, there’s a whole bunch for you.

ALEX: Ooh, yeah. Oh, my formatting’s terrible, I’m gonna do the unspeakable, I’m now just gonna start looking at the text instead of your face. (computer screen shines in his eyes) Ooh, that’s bright, maybe not, maybe not. Okay, gimme a second to just mess with my formatting because I can’t see nothing.

JONNY: There’s very little like streaming to make you realize quite how absurdly pale you are after a year of just being inside.

ALEX: Outside is bad time. Right, okay, I’m gonna give this a go, then. Forgive me if I hesitate here, I’ll do my best. (clears throat) No, don’t-

JONNY: This is from- sorry. This is from theoceaninmotion.

ALEX (Martin): No, don’t click- Peter, just-just give me your phone, I’ll get the emojis set up, but I-I *refuse* to help you understand Elias’s texts any further from here. There are just some things I don’t need to know! (grossed out noise)

JONNY: This is from joeytwoeyes.

ALEX: I’m gonna assume Martin as well. (as Martin) Mm, assassins killing Elias? My favorite!

JONNY: This one is from nagev.

ALEX: Uhh. Alright, I think this one might be for me, like not a Martin one. (deep sigh) Harrison Campbell is my favorite author.

JONNY: This is one for me from riotcontrolcamp. (as the Archivist) Sometimes people will ask me about my life aspirations and I’m like, I don’t know, I thought I’d be in a car with my hand out of the tail light by now.

ALEX: (laughs) I like that one.

JONNY: This one’s from Cassidy.

ALEX (Martin): Forgive and forget? (very quickly shifts into a hysterical voice that’s very much not Martin’s) No! Resent and remember! (cackles evilly)

JONNY: From cucumberkale, this is a two hander.

ALEX: Oh, yeah, I’m first. (as Martin) I have done nothing wrong ever, on my life.

JONNY (Archivist): I know this and I love you. (ooc) Good little Parks and Rec reference there.

ALEX: Oh, yeah!

JONNY: From the bluescapegoat.

ALEX (Martin, mischievous): Jon, uh, did you hear about the explosion at the cheese shop?

JONNY (Archivist): What? What cheese shop?

ALEX: (wiggling eyebrows) Yeah, da brie [debris] was everywhere.

JONNY: (deep sigh) This apocalypse has officially gone on for too long. (ooc) This is from alfcommittingcrimes.

ALEX: (laughs) (as Martin) Hello, Jon. Apologies for the deception, but I would like to remind you I love you. (laughs)

JONNY: Aww.

ALEX: Cute reference.

JONNY: Um, this one’s from Monty. This isn’t actually-

ALEX: This is more of an instruction.

JONNY: They haven’t scripted anything, yeah. Um, okay. (as the Archivist) Martin, I’m very sorry for ever saying that I hated your tea.

ALEX (Martin): It’s okay. Some things are more important than tea. (ooc) There you go. I thought I’d go sincere-

JONNY (ooc): Oh no! Martin’s been replaced! (Alex laughs) Anyways, this one is from tomakeitworse and it’s for you, Alex. Well, as Martin, not as you.

ALEX (ooc): I mean it’s wrong, but okay. (as Martin) Oolong is the best tea.

JONNY: From shikashaman. (statement voice) Statement of Benedict Avalanche regarding clown milk. Statement begins. Honk.

ALEX: (laughing) I think that’s a call back to earlier this stream, so. (makes ok symbol) Very class act.

JONNY (ooc): One from ladymystree for me. (Sasha giggling in the background)

ALEX: I’m hearing giggling on your end, I think someone’s enjoying themself.

JONNY: No, it’s fine. They’re doing a cryptic crossword and I’m sure they’ve just stumbled across a-

ALEX: It’s really cryptic. Really cryptic. Yeah, it’s a cryptic giggle, alright. Carry on, then.

JONNY (Archivist): Ceaseless Watcher, evict this feline, Her Serene Highness The Empress Nyx from out of the *goddamn* Christmas tree.

ALEX: (laughing) I like that one.

JONNY (ooc): This is from myth_ac. (as the Archivist) Martin and I have this connection where we finish each other’s-

ALEX (Martin): Sentences!

JONNY (Archivist): Don’t interrupt me.

ALEX (ooc): (laughs) I quite like that one as well.

JONNY (ooc): Yeah, I don’t know what that one’s from, I recognise it. But it’s, uh, redderie. (as the Archivist) I’ve been asked why I changed my opinion on poetry. I do not know this. This information is unattainable such as it is. Not even my endless resources could solve such a mystery. No, I did not fall in love with a poet on purpose, next question. (Alex laughs) (ooc) This one’s from coinmaster. Uh, and it’s for you, Alex.

ALEX (Martin): Thank you so much for asking, Jon. My ideal date, uh, would be getting home after a long day, curling up next to a roaring fire and listening to Rusty Quill Gaming. It’s-it’s a podcast, it’s distributed by Rusty Quill.

JONNY (Archivist): Oh, yes, I’ve heard of it. It’s not very good. (roasting) Ohhhh!

ALEX: But it does have a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial sharealike 4.0 international license, so that’s quite cool, too. (ooc) (laughs) I may have riffed there, I apologise.

JONNY (ooc): It’s fine, it’s fine. We’ve said what they’ve asked us to say, anything additional is- that’s bonus. (Alex laughs) This one is from mstars, for me to read in statement voice.

ALEX: Oh! (laughs hysterically, tries to compose himself)

JONNY (statement voice): Why are you so far away in Galactonium? Hey, won’t you save me? Hold me, maybe? I just want to be your little clone baby.

ALEX: (laughs) And that’s in my head for the rest of the day.

JONNY (ooc): This is for you. I refuse to listen to it. I’ve- too many people have told me it’s good. Which means that-

ALEX: Automatically, yeah. Understood.

JONNY: Well, no, it’s just, like- I don’t want it stuck in my head. I’m aware, if I listen to it, it’s in my head forever, and I can’t risk that.

ALEX: You don’t want him- you don’t want Tim getting- well, Tim and Ben, you don’t want them living rent free there.

JONNY: They can’t win!

ALEX: Understood. Okay, in that case, then. (as Martin) Sorry, Elias, I can’t hear you, there’s a panopticon in the way! (ooc) Fair.

JONNY: One from b_ees. Another for you.

(TheBrothersMeredith in the chat: Coward)

ALEX: Oh no.

JONNY: Mm-hm.

ALEX (Martin): (grunt) I’m trying to sneak around in the Lonely, but I’m-I’m dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks just- it keeps alerting the Eye!

JONNY: One from thequack04. (as the Archivist) I have had a very long day, I am very small, and I have no money, so you can imagine the stress I’m under. Square brackets this is a John Mulaney quote close square brackets. (Alex laughs) (ooc) One for you. Uh, from misssunflower94.

ALEX (ooc): I’m gonna assume this is for actually me.

JONNY: No, I think it is for Martin, because remember, Martin’s opinions on poetry.

ALEX: Uh, no, fair, actually, no, I take that back. You are correct, you are correct. (as Martin) I don’t know, I just- I’ve always found Oscar Wilde to just be a bit... overrated?

JONNY: One for me, from awildmeerie. (as the Archivist) Hello demons, it’s me, ya boy. (Alex laughs) (ooc) Um, (stumbles over the name) emperiocism. Sorry for that, emperiocism. Can Jonny sing/speak in his most serious Archivist voice? (serious Archivist voice, speaking) Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

ALEX: Oh, don’t- (incomprehensible frustrated noises) god.

JONNY (ooc): From marsmagnusandkbouchard, this is for you.

ALEX (Martin): (very angry) Fuck being the bigger person, I’m just- (feral) I’m just gonna start biting people!

JONNY: Excellent. One for both of us from zestymayos92.

ALEX (ooc): (laughing, tries to compose himself) (as Martin) The world ended, and that is super not poggers.

JONNY (Archivist): You’re right, Martin, very not poggers indeed. (ooc) One from catskeleton for you.

ALEX (ooc): That’s just- oh. (as Martin) Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m definitely not a ghost, and Jon, I love you.

JONNY: I have a really difficult one- this anonymous one is difficult because it says “in the style of Sailor Moon” and I’ve not seen many anime, um, animi, sorry, in my life.

ALEX (ooc): The plural is anipodes.

JONNY: And Sailor Moon is not one, so I have no idea what-

ALEX: As far as I am aware, if you want to do it representatively, your clothes need to fly off in a large elaborate explosion and be replaced with some kind of dress-based armor. But that may not be feasible.

JONNY (Archivist): (very awkward) I am the pretty Avatar who fights for the Eye and for knowledge! I am the Archivist, and now, in the name of the Ceaseless Watcher, I’ll punish you! (ooc) I... I don’t know.

ALEX: I think that might have been actually pretty decently close. It’s been a few years since I watched a Sailor Moon, so don’t hold me to that though.

JONNY: I’ve only ever seen silent gifs on... your Tumblrs or your Twitters. Anyways, this is from theraccoonfriend. (as the Archivist) Get out of my swamp. (ooc) Uh, from Kath, for you, Alex.

ALEX (Martin): I’m fine! Stop asking!

JONNY: From sunnyjordie, for you, Alex.

ALEX (Martin): Hey, would you help me out? I’m very gay and a few- and I’d like a few dollars. (ooc) I’m gonna do that again, I think I screwed it up. (as Martin) Hey, would you help me out? I’m very gay and I’d like a few dollars.

JONNY: Square brackets this is a John Mulaney-

ALEX (Martin): Square brackets this is a John Mulaney quote close square brackets.

JONNY: Um, from Linothy, for both.

ALEX (Martin): Please, pleeeease stop drinking tea by just putting the bag in your mouth and just chugging hot water.

JONNY (Archivist): I’m *cultured*, Martin. (ooc) And dang3rgrang3r, or dang 3er grang 3er. Uh, for both.

ALEX (Martin): God, Jon, why don’t you ever wear your own clothes?

JONNY (Archivist): I like your sweater! It makes me feel...

ALEX (Martin): It makes you feel like a thief!

JONNY (Archivist): No, it makes me feel *safe*.

ALEX (Martin): Aww, Jon...

JONNY (ooc): One from voidbean.

ALEX (Martin): I’m sorry, you were STABBED??

JONNY (Archivist): *Lightly* stabbed, I didn’t want to frighten you. (ooc) I think that’s a Brooklyn 99 one.

ALEX (ooc): Yeah, so do I, actually.

JONNY: Sarafifi24.

ALEX (Martin): Press X to pay respects.

JONNY: So from alfcommittingvoicecrimes, they’ve asked “sing chorus of Pump Shanty.” And the thing is, if you want to hear me singing the chorus of Pump Shanty, that is available on Bandcamp, Youtube, and Spotify. So, Alex, why don’t you do it?

ALEX (ooc): Okay, I have no idea so I’m gonna take a random stab in the dark.

JONNY: I’m very excited to hear it.

ALEX: With a tune that doesn’t even scan in terms of meter.

JONNY: No, like just- it’s a folk tune so just sing it like a folk. Sing it to an old folk tune.

ALEX: ...Yes.

JONNY: You know, an old folk tune.

ALEX: (to a tune that’s definitely not Pump Shanty) Pump me boys, let’s a-fly, down to hell and up to the sky. Bend your backs and break your bones, we’re just a million miles from home. (cringing) I have no idea what that should be-

JONNY: (trying not to laugh) Brilliant. No, that was it. You got it.

ALEX: Oh, wicked. I was worried for a moment.

JONNY: No, that was... uncanny, to be honest. We’ve got a few more that are from Nobles donations, so these don’t have specific donor names, so we can just go back and forth.

ALEX: The first one’s as Wilde. (as Wilde) I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying.

JONNY (Archivist?): Blartin, that is, Paul Blartin Martin Cop is on his segue and eye ass Jon is sitting on the handlebars. He is facing Blartin in a koala-esque embrace which is not quite an embrace but rather for structural support. His ass eyes are out and alert. He knows all. Petty theft perishes under their collaborative iron fist.

ALEX: (laughing incredulously) Okay!

JONNY (ooc): Do you want to do this one? I think- yeah.

ALEX: Okay, okay, sure. (deep breath, as Martin) Hey, you can do this. It’s been really, really rough, but you can do this.

JONNY (Archivist): Working at the Magnus Institute was like a four year game show called “Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?” but instead of winning money, you lose your bloody soul. (ooc) Okay. (as the Archivist) You’re a child, an infant. Your mocking is thus infantile. He’s not my boyfriend. This man is more to me than you could dream. He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness and warmth when I shiver in cold, and his kiss still thrills me after a millennia. His heart overflows with the kindness of which this world is not worth of. I love this man beyond measure and reason. He’s not my boyfriend, he is all and he is more.

ALEX (Martin): You’re an incurable romantic.

JONNY (Archivist): (next request) He thinks I don’t notice, but the bodies in the hallway speak a clear language. Death is all around us, no one is safe. The signs all point in one direction: Martin’s totally sus.

ALEX (Martin): (noises of disbelief) O-okay, come on, I am innocent! How could you even think that??

JONNY: Martin was ejected.

ALEX (ooc): (laughs) I think that’s it.

JONNY: Yeah, I think that’s the list.

[trashinaglass-archive]

Movie Star

Y/n is sick of Tom thinking he’s the shit

Request: Hi can I request kinda an angsty imagine kinda based on when Tom said was talking about his dad and acting like a “movie star”, and basically he says something really pretentious to the reader about how important he is and he is taking the fame to his head, and she gets upset and he realizes he messed up. Thank you loads :)

A/n: I’m here for the angst. I hope it’s good bc this is a good concept

Tom was the best boyfriend you could’ve ever asked for. Kind, loving, understanding, and grounded- the latter being the most important to you. You felt the responsibility of keeping him grounded laid on you; you were the one he cared about most. The opinion he cared about the most.

You didn’t really worry with a few comments he made- he was hardworking in a career that didn’t allow him much privacy. Of course he’d get angry from time to time, act like an asshole every now and then, but it was when it turned from mean comments toward others to praiseful comments toward himself than you began to get really worried about him.

“I just want a girlfriend. I’m tired of being single,” Sam groaned as you and the brothers were sat in a bar.

“Look, bro- all we need is for someone to recognize me, and you’re golden,” Tom suggested.

You raised an eyebrow at the comment, “or you can be yourself and find a girl that likes you for who you are.”

“I’m just saying, I’m kind of a big deal,” he said, shrugging his shoulders making you roll your eyes.

“Calm down, movie star,” you told him, the word rolling off your tongue with disgust. Tom immediately shut down, sipping his beer quietly as you continued to talk to Sam.

Hearing the words come out of his mouth pissed you off endlessly. You wanted nothing more than for him to create something he’s proud of, to feel proud of himself, but you needed him to be humble about it as well. You were sure that he had brought himself back, no ridiculous comments to follow for a while, but lo and behold, amidst the recent film reviews, he found himself excited again.

You were currently driving home after a long meeting in London, answering the phone when Tom called.

“Hey, gorg,” you answered.

“Hey- how long are you going to be before you get back?” He asked, sounding excited about something.

“Um,” you said softly, glancing at the clock. “25 maybe? If traffic stays good. What’s up?”

“I was out today, shopping with Harrison and Tuwaine, and I saw something that I think you’ll really love,” he told you.

You let out a sigh hearing his words. “Tom, as much as I love you and your gifts, it’s getting to be a bit much,” you tried to break it to him gently. He’d ‘been out shopping and gotten something for you’ just about every day for a week and a half now. Maybe it would be okay if they were simple five dollar gifts, but they cost hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars. You never were the one to tell people how they should spend their money, but it was getting to be crazy.

“What do you mean?”

“Tom, you’re spending way to much money on gifts for me. I don’t need a new piece of jewelry every day,” you explained to him. “I appreciate that you think of me like that, but don’t waste your money on these gifts for me when you could use it for so many other things.”

“You’re not even going to ask what it is?” He replied, his voice sounding hurt or angry.

“No because I’m scared of what you’d tell me. For all I know it’ll be £10,000, and I can’t even fathom you spending that on me.” The line went quiet as the words came out of your mouth. The silence making your heart sink. “Tom, tell me you didn’t spend ten grand on a piece of jewelry.”

More silence, making your heart sink even further. “No,” he said quietly, causing your suspicion rise.

“How much did it cost?” You asked him, wanting to know the final verdict.

“Love, it’s not the price that matters,” he tried to reason.

“No, tell me, Tom. Stop fucking stalling.”

He let out a breath, knowing you were going to be upset, “thirty-five.”

“Grand?” You asked for confirmation, your jaw dropping. Tom let out a quiet ‘mhm’ to answer that your fear was indeed correct. “Thomas Stanley-“

“Y/n, it’s fine! I wouldn’t be buying you things if I couldn’t afford it,” he defended himself. Part of him wanted to be mad that you weren’t jumping for joy, but the other part of him just wanted you to understand it isn’t hurting him financially. “I’m fucking Spider-Man- I get paid more in a day than normal people get in an entire year. I have so much money, I could buy you the entire city if you wanted it. Have you seen the expensive fucking suits I’ve been wearing? The watches? I’m not broke- buying that £35,000 bracelet was nothing to me. I’m probably the richest person in Kingston right now, you ought to be happy about that.”

You bit your lip, not believing what he’d actually said. “No one gives a shit how much money you make, movie star. I sure as hell don’t, fucking dick.” You could hear Tom yell out as you hung up the phone, turning it off and throwing it in the floorboard of your car. You pulled the car off the side of the road, placing your head on the steering wheel and letting out a good, long cry.

You don’t know what happened to your sweet boyfriend, the one that wasn’t obsessed with money, but you wanted him back dearly. You weren’t sure what was going on in Tom’s thick skull, but you were certain. If he couldn’t get his act together, you weren’t going to stick around for it. You didn’t sign up for any of that.

Once your eyes dried, you started the car again and continued on your route home- going to your place rather than Tom’s like you two had originally planned. Sleeping and being by yourself was all you wanted at the moment.

When you woke up, you found yourself in your cold living room early in the morning. You decided to check your mailbox since you didn’t yesterday, finding a particularly heavy envelope, and hurried inside to open it.

Inside lay the bracelet, a receipt, and a note from Tom. It was a pretty bracelet, you had to admit. With diamonds surrounding the outside of it. It definitely was your taste in jewelry, but not £35k worth.

I wanted to say this all in person, but knowing you, I probably won’t see you in person for a while. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for being a dick. I’m sorry for being a ‘movie star’ and properly acting like one. I don’t mean to be obsessed with how much I get paid. I plan on working to keep myself grounded. I feel like you constantly do so much for me, I need you to know just how much I love you for it. I guess buying gifts is my love language, but you’re right. I’ll try to do better on what I get you and how much I spend.

As you’ve probably seen, I left the receipt in this envelope along with the bracelet. Keep it if you like, but I figure you’d want to return it. Do whatever you want with the money, you’re obviously the more responsible one and know how to handle it. I love you so much, y/n. I would trade all the money in the world for you to be happy. Nothing compares to what I feel when I see you smile, and I hope I didn’t just fuck up everything we have. Call me when you’re ready- and preferably not angry with me anymore :)

You bit your lip, looking at the bracelet and receipt. You almost didn’t even want to touch the thing, appalled by how expensive it was. Sure you liked pretty things every now and then, but you were a simple person and a bracelet that costs more than your flat and your car combined just didn’t belong on your wrist.

You put the receipt and the bracelet back in the envelope, slipping it in your purse and heading out the door.

. . .

“Y/n!” Tom exclaimed as he saw you walk through the front door. He didn’t expect to see you today, but he was more than excited by your presence. Without a word, you handed him a stack of papers. “What are these?” He asked, looking at them confused.

“Thank you letters for your generous donations- £7,000 to five different charities,” you told him. “I don’t care if you want to spend your money, but just keep in mind that there are people out there that aren’t as fortunate as you that can use that money for more productive reasons than looking pretty.

“Tom, I love you, and I hate to break it to you, but you are only special to so many people. Myself, your family, your fans, but that’s it. No cop thinks you’re special, no doctor or nurse thinks you’re special, no lawyer or judge thinks you’re special. That room full of actors at the Oscars could care less who you are because you aren’t them. I don’t give a shit how talented or hot or rich you are because that’s all superficial. Years from now, you won’t have that. But you will always have your heart. Don’t let it become corrupt because you can’t see past the pretty things.”

Tom nodded as you spoke, taking in every word like his life depended on it- which, to him, it probably did. It sucked having to be the person to say such harsh words to Tom, but it had to be done. The thought of losing your sweet boy to a fame driven and egotistical world was the biggest fear you’d ever felt.

“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“How about ‘I won’t act like vain, dickhole movie star again’? Or ‘I understand that I’m not the shit’? ‘I’m just as special as my ‘broke, normal’ girlfriend’?” You offered. Tom visibly sucked a breath, his jaw clinching. “You realize I’m that person you called out? That ‘normal person’ that makes in a year what you make in a single day? I’ve never been so insulted, and it was from my own boyfriend’s mouth that I had to hear that from. I’m sorry I’m not cool enough to be an actor and play pretend in a Spider-Man costume, but I can assure you that even though I make less than a quarter of what you make, I am still on your level. My broke ass is just as important as your arrogant, rich one. And I need you to pull that stick out of your ass so you can see who you’re dealing with because you are not going to belittle me like that again.”

“I didn’t mean to,” he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. He didn’t realize just how severe the situation was; he was so concerned about himself, he didn’t even realize he was insulting the love of his life. He could hear the hurt behind the anger in your voice, and it broke his heart knowing he was the cause of it. “I’m such an asshole,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you, running through his hair.

“Yeah you are,” you said with a humorless laugh, turning to walk away.

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asked, his voice pitiful.

“No,” you looked at him again. “But you need to take some time to realize some things, and I need some time to cool off. We have dinner plans with your parents tomorrow- fix your shit before then.” You turned again, walking out of his flat. 

Taglist: @lucychg @yourwonderbelle @rageyoudamnednerd​ @maliburumofficial @cutiepiemimi13 @happywolves81 @lifeandloveandhappiness @madeinthemidnightmemories @castellandiangelo @meaganjm @spnobsessedmemes @h-oneyholland @babylsn​ @harrydesires​ @xxtomxo (add yourself here)

[papermoonloveslucy]

GEORGE NEEDS A RAISE

October 7, 1949

"George Needs a Raise” (aka “George Tries for a Raise”) is episode #57 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on October 7, 1949.

This was the fifth episode of the second season of MY FAVORITE HUSBAND. There were 43 new episodes, with the season ending on June 25, 1950.

The script was later adapted for television as “Ricky Asks for a Raise” (ILL S1;E35) first aired on February 16, 1953.  

Synopsis ~ Liz tries every trick in the book to convince Mr. Atterbury to give George a raise. To get results she even resorts to selling apples in front of the bank where he is employed.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George's boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father's garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on "Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89. 

Gordon also played the boss Alvin Littlefield in the television version of this script on “I Love Lucy.”  

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricarodo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Frank Nelson (Waiter) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”.  Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs. His trademark was playing clerks and other working stiffs, suddenly turning to Benny with a drawn out “Yeeeeeeeeees?” Nelson appeared in 11 episodes of “I Love Lucy”, including three as quiz master Freddy Fillmore, and two as Ralph Ramsey, plus appearance on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” - making him the only actor to play two different recurring roles on “I Love Lucy.” Nelson returned to the role of the frazzled Train Conductor for an episode of “The Lucy Show” in 1963. This marksed his final appearance on a Lucille Ball sitcom. 

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers it is morning. Katie is singing in the kitchen.”

The song Katie is singing is “Some Enchanted Evening” written by Rodgers and Hammerstein for their 1949 hit musical South Pacific, which had just opened five months earlier on Broadway and would continue until 1954. “Some Enchanted Evening” became a pop standard and was covered by many artists, including Frank Sinatra and Perry Como, who’s version hit #1 in 1949. 

The stage show would be a punch line in “No Children Allowed” (ILL S2;E22).  Ethel allows the Ricardos to stay in their apartment despite a clause in the lease forbidding children. She later repeatedly brags about her good deed. “My friendship with the Ricardos means more to me than all the money in the world…”  She repeats the speech so often that Lucy quips: “That scene has had more performances than ‘South Pacific’!“  Authors and producers Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II dominated Broadway from 1943 to 1959 and were frequently mentioned on “I Love Lucy,” often as just ‘Dick and Oscar.’

Liz enters and wants to know why Katie is so cheerful. Katie attributes it to Mr. Nagy, the mailman. 

LIZ: “Katie, have you been playing post office?” KATIE: “No, but I have been giving him a cup of coffee every morning. That’s three kinds of coffee I have to make every morning. He’s Silex. I’m an old-fashioned boil drinker, and you and Mr. Cooper are drip!”

Katie is referring to a coffee brewing system marketed by the Silex Company (now Proctor Silex). The name Silex is almost synonymous with any glass vacuum pot. At the 1939 New York World's Fair, the Silex Company's exhibit was dominated by a seven-foot replica of a Silex glass coffee maker in operation. It was considered superior to boiled water, drip coffee, or metal percolators. 

Liz is desperately waiting for a bill from Miller’s Department Store that is due in today’s mail. Liz has overspent on a red velvet suit she couldn’t resist. George confronts her about the $98 expense and her history of her over-spending. Both Miller’s Department Store and Mr. Nagy the Mailman are running references on “My Favorite Husband”. 

Liz encourages George to ask for a raise. George says he hinted at wanting a raise from Mr. Atterbury.  Liz wants George to bring it up at dinner, as they are dining with the Atterburys that night. Liz begs George not to pick up the check and let Mr. Atterbury do it.  

LIZ: “Every time the check comes he’s looking down at his fingers. You’d think he just discovered Uranium under his fingernails.”

Uranium is a very heavy metal found in most rocks that can be used as a source of concentrated energy. It was first identified in 1789 and named after the planet Uranus. As early as 1949, Popular Science Magazine started highlighting uranium hunting as a hobby using a device known as the Geiger Counter. In 1958, “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” joined the scores of other television shows and films by presenting “Lucy Hunts Uranium”. 

The Coopers resolve to order the most expensive items on the menu and let Mr. Atterbury pay.  That night,while  Rudolph and Iris are waiting for the Coopers at the restaurant, Iris laments that George never picks up the bill. They resolve to let the Coopers pay tonight’s check and to order the most expensive items on the menu. 

The waiter (Frank Nelson) comes by and they start with four bottles of imported Champagne.  [Note: All Champagne is imported. Domestic is called sparkling wine.]  Liz orders a Porterhouse steak and Iris orders a double lobster thermidor. The waiter feigns excitement about waiting on such big spenders. 

Of all the roles Frank Nelson played on “I Love Lucy,” only once did he play a waiter: in "Lucy Changes Her Mind” (ILL S2;E21), repeating the role he created in “Liz Changes Her Mind”, episode 50 of “My Favorite Husband.”

Lobster Thermidor is a French dish consisting of a creamy mixture of cooked lobster meat and brandy stuffed into a lobster shell with a mustard sauce. Due to expensive ingredients, it is usually considered a dish primarily served on special occasions. Porterhouse Steak is a T-bone cut of beef.  The origin of the term "porterhouse" is disputed, with several cities and establishments claiming to have coined it. Owing to its large size and the fact that it is one of the most prized cuts of beef, Porterhouse are generally considered one of the highest quality steaks, and prices at are accordingly high.  

After dinner, everyone is stuffed and the waiter wants to know who will pay.

WAITER: “Will this be cash or do you want to finance it?”

Rudolph drops his fork and George claims he left his wallet in his other suit, fulfilling Liz and Iris’s predictions about how the men will avoid paying the bill.  

Next day, Liz preps George on asking for a raise. Liz role plays with George giving him the bravery he needs to ask for a salary increase.  

In Mr. Atterbury’s office, George can’t get out the words. Mr. Atterbury tells George he just fired Joe Ridgley for asking for a raise. Instead, George sheepishly asks for the key to the washroom! At home, Liz is dismayed to hear that George didn’t have the guts to ask, and vows to Katie to do her utmost to campaign on his behalf with Mr. Atterbury. 

LIZ (about George): “Oh, he’s so wishy-washy. And if he doesn’t stop being so wishy I’ll have to take in washy.”

Later, Mr. Atterbury calls George in to his office and tells him of Liz’s ‘campaign' consisting of four anonymous phone calls, and three telegrams, one of which said: 

“I think you should give my brother a raise - signed Gary.”

Gary Cooper (1901-1961) was one of the most popular and successful actors in Hollywood. In 1949 he could be seen in the Warner Brothers picture It’s a Great Feeling. Cooper was mentioned in two episode of “I Love Lucy” but never acted opposite Lucille Ball. She did, however, impersonate him in “Lucy and Harpo Marx” (ILL S4;E28) in 1955.

As George and Rudolph are leaving for lunch, a rock comes crashing through the window with a note tied to it:

“Dear Mr. Atterbury - George Cooper deserves a raise. Signed, an important depositor. PS: Sorry, I thought the window was open.” 

When the men go to lunch, Liz is on the street disguised as an apple seller!  

LIZ (in a trembling voice): “Apples!  Apples!  Buy an apple, Mister. Buy an apple and help a starving vice president and his wife!” 

Liz’s apple seller was inspired by the Damon Runyon story “Madame La Gimp” which was made into the 1933 Frank Capra film Lady for a Day, starring May Robson as Apple Annie. It was remade in 1966 as Pocketful of Miracles starring Bette Davis. In 1972, Lucy Carter went undercover as “Dirty Gertie” (HL S5;E10), a direct nod to the story and films. 

Later George phones home to tell Liz he’s been fired!  It seems Liz sent 10 rag-tag children to his office yelling “Daddy I’m hungry!”  Liz says she borrowed them from Mr. Wood next door.  

In “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15), Lucy Ricardo suddenly invents ten children, to dissuade an amorous butcher (Edward Everett Horton) and push him toward an elderly spinster (Bea Benadaret) who is sweet on him!  Coincidentally, Bea Benadaret played the spinster, and plays Iris Atterbury in this radio episode. Liz says her ten were borrowed from Mr. Wood who was usually played by Hans Conried. In other episodes he had 11 children, so one is either too young or otherwise engaged!  

Katie reminds Liz to cancel her sky-writing order. Liz gets an idea. Instead of writing out “George Cooper Needs A Raise” she will send a new message. She phones the skywriter: 

LIZ: “Hello. This is Mrs. George Cooper. What?  No, I didn’t order ‘She’s lovely. She’s engaged. She uses Pond’s’.” 

As the skin-care business became more competitive in the 1920s, Pond’s tried to boost sales through an extensive advertising campaign based on testimonials. The new campaign, which began in 1924, attempted to give Pond’s cold and vanishing creams more cachet by having them endorsed by socialites and members of aristocracy. Pond’s continued to use testimonials through the ‘She’s Engaged, She’s Lovely, She Uses Pond’s’ campaign of the 1940s and beyond. [For plot purposes only apparent at the very end, the writers reverse the order of the slogan, putting “she’s lovely” before “she’s engaged.”]

Liz tells the skywriter to spell out “MR. ATTERBURY IS A STINKER” in letters a mile high!  Liz goes down to the bank to assure Mr. Atterbury sees it. 

At the same time, Mr. Atterbury tells George that instead of being fired, he’s being promoted; from third vice president to executive third vice president. Liz arrives and at first refuses to acknowledge Mr. Atterbury.

LIZ: “Come on, George. Get your things and let’s leave this marble sweatshop!”

George breaks the good news to Liz of his promotion and all three go off for a celebratory drink. Outside on the street, Mr. Atterbury sees some skywriting starting and stops to see what it will spell out. A shocked Liz let’s out an “Aye-yia-yai-yai-yai!”

Coincidentally, this a Spanish exclamation of surprise often let out by Ricky Ricardo on “I Love Lucy,” so it is odd to hear patrician Elizabeth Elliott Cooper use it. In real-life, Lucille Ball had been married to Desi Arnaz for nearly nine years, so she was quite used to it!  

 The skywriting starts with “MR”...

LIZ: “It’s probably just an ad for that show, ‘Mr. Roberts’. Come on, let’s go.” 

The show Liz is referring to is the Broadway adaption of the 1946 book Mr. Roberts by Thomas Heggen. The play opened in February 1948 and went on to win a Tony Award for Best Play (the first ever) and closed in August 1950. Henry Fonda, who dated Lucille Ball briefly when she first got to Hollywood, played the lead and got a Tony as well. The play opened at the Alvin Theatre, where Lucille Ball would star in Wildcat a dozen years later. Fonda repeated his role in the 1955 film. There was also a radio adaptation in 1953, and a short-lived NBC television series in 1965. 

The skywriting continues: “MR. ATT...” Liz asks Mr. Atterbury to tie her shoelaces. George points out that she is wearing pumps.

More skywriting: “ATTERB...

LIZ: “It’s probably an ad for that piano player, José Atterby.” 

Liz is referring to José Iturbi (1895-1980), who was a Spanish conductor, pianist and harpsichordist. He appeared in several Hollywood films of the 1940s, notably playing himself in the musicals Thousands Cheer (1943) with Lucille Ball, his first big role.

The final letters of the name are spelled out: “ATTERBURY”.  Liz still tries to convince him the skywriting has nothing to do with him. 

LIZ: “It’s that soft drink. (Liz sings) ‘Atterbury hits the spot!  Five full ounces, that’s a lot!” 

Liz is paraphrasing the Pepsi-Cola jingle written for radio in the 1930s by Austen Croom-Johnson and Aland Kent. Liz says “Five full ounces” instead of “12 full ounces”. Most soft drinks sold a 6 ounce bottle for a nickel. Pepsi sold 12 ounce bottles for the same price. It was recorded in 55 languages, played in Symphony Hall, and more than one million records were released to jukeboxes.

Finally, the full message appears in the sky: “MR. ATTERBURY IS LOVELY!”  Mr. Atterbury is touched and Liz is (to say the least) surprised. They all go off happily for a drink!  End of episode. 

[Although it isn’t overtly stated, we must assume that the skywriters got the Pond’s ad mixed up with the Cooper ad, explaining the sudden message change!]

[enchantingkittengaditor]

Deep Water | 00.0 Teaser: Magazine Profile

July 2020:

WATCH OUT WORLD THE OLYMPIANS ARE COMING FOR YOU

Today I got the amazing privilege to interview some of the worlds up and coming super-stars: The cast of the Disney+ series ‘Percy Jackson and The Olympians’

First I sat down with Caitlyn Watson, yes as in that Watson, the middle child of 5 kids is the younger sister of both Alice Watson, the super-star songstress, and Beatrice Watson, the oscar-nominated actress and future Black Widow.

She herself was very polite and shy, while she greeted me like an old friend in her favourite little coffee shop in Oxford, I could see that she was extremely nervous and didn’t entirely want to be there with me. When I brought this up she simply laughed and told me: “I was raised to always be polite to others and hide your emotion but lately that’s just become a lot harder with these interviews and my GP telling me she thinks I can stop my anxiety meds. So, I’m very sorry if it’s at all awkward, I’m just a very anxious person with a complicated past of hurting and tough emotions.”

But once we talked a little more she started to open up about herself and the madness that apparently rules the Watson house, even telling me that one day I should do a profile on her and her sisters and see where they grew up for the last few years. According to her, her castmates are some of the sweetest people I will ever meet except for Harrison who is quote “A total and complete twat with anger issues who is trying to clean up his act,” apparently with the help of her co-star Robert Downey Jr.

She was very humble and told me about her roots, having originally been born in the New Zealand city of Invercargill, she spent her first few years on her father’s family’s ‘Highland Station’ which at that point mainly functioned as a christmas tree farm and an animal sanctuary, though know it’s a natural park protected by the New Zealand government since her mother inherited the land, presumably when her father died though she didn’t really mention him much.

She then apparently moved to the outback when she was 3 for 6 months due to her father’s inability to keep a job in New Zealand. That was before moving to Cambridge for 3 months with her mother and sisters while her sister Dorathy was born, they then moved again to the Caribbean where she spent the rest of her childhood until high school while her older sisters moved to school with her cousins in the UK. Apparently, around 2011 - 2012 there was an incident involving her father but she didn’t mention him beyond this point.

After spending years in the Caribbean her mother relocated her family to Oxford, near her sister and her family, as 3 out of 5 of her kids were at high school, this is the point that Caitlyn met most of her current friends and co-stars.

The only reason I included any of this is that it is the most in-depth look into the Watson girls’ childhood.

When I asked her about the idea of being famous she said that it was never her dream, she actually used the very British phrase ‘cup of tea’, and that she was proud that her sisters had achieved their dreams but never imagined that she would join them in the crazy world of fame, instead she said she would have preferred to stay in the background cheering them on and becoming a lawyer or architect that becoming famous herself.

Overall my time with her led me to believe one quote I got from her co-star Jasmin was very true about her:

“Life. Life is cruel and unforgiving but not as unforgiving as the wrath of a teenage girl. Especially when said teenage girl has the fury of a thousand fires hidden beneath layers and layers of walls built up of years in the fray of the spotlight.

“That’s what Caitlyn Watson’s heart is like. It’s been like that since she was 11. Since her eldest sisters became famous, one as an actress and one as a singer. But no matter how famous they became she was always comforted by the fact they still had to share a room with her when they were at home.

“But Caitlyn will never let anyone know that unless they were one of her friends or her older sisters.”

Unlike Caitlyn, Jasmin happily lets people know what’s on her mind, often going on rants on twitter about something on her mind whether or not others care about the matter, though often several tweets long she often gets straight to the point.

My meet up with her was very different, instead of meeting in a hidden gem of a café we met and a roller rink where she still works. When I asked her about skating she stated, “It’s not my thing at all but my brother loves it and it paid well so it meant I could save for Uni and still go to school and get all of my homework done on time.” 

She also seemed very polite but instead of shy she came across as confident as Sharpey Evans from ‘High School Musical’ but a thousand times as nice.

From my day with Jasmin, I learnt a lot about how someone can be into both death and life in the form of flowers. She showed me around all of her favourite places in Oxford including a cemetery where she says she often comes to contemplate life and the quality of doing her homework.

I also got to see her go on one of her useless rants, this time about why we should all just give up and become moss after she found a headstone in the cemetery with her name on it. Though I reassured her it couldn’t have been her’s as the date was over 200 years ago.

Overall That day I learnt that she is overdramatic to the extreme but in the best possible way and will instantly welcome you into her family with open arms. But she is also like any other teenager as she is addicted to her phone and social media, though she does spend a lot of time on her phone trying to help people or keeping in touch with her fans. I even learnt that she has a rule: if any fan DMs her she has to reply within 72 hours or she has to sit with Harrison in every class they share for a week. But when I tried to ask her about this she just said “You’ll see. The whole world will see.”

So on that note, I will stop talking about her and start talking about her co-star Brenten, who voices Grover Underwood.

Now, I was warned that I might lose my hearing by both Caitlyn and Jasmin if I met up with him during his band practice so instead, I met up with him at his father’s music store where he excitedly showed me all of his favourite records, most of which were released well before he was born.

He was also asked, by his father, to show me some of the instruments he could play and give a demo of them, which is where I see why Caitlyn and Jasmin gave me the advice they did. Though I can see why people have been giving his rave reviews online for his music because he is a truly talented musician.

My day with him went as well as the other two but to me, it wasn’t as interesting as he himself wasn’t as interesting conversationalist. Though the one interesting fact I did learn from him was that he is the only cast member actually from American. But like everyone else didn’t grow up in America instead of spending most of his childhood in the Caribbean before moving to Oxford in summer 2019.

The final person I talked to was Harrison, who voices Percy himself. I was warned that he could be a bit temperamental so I went in prepared. Though he was very polite, I could see where they were coming from. He seemed to have some sort of underlying anger issue.

When I asked him about his co-stars he had some very interesting things to say. For example when I asked him about Brenten he stated:

“Brenten’s a great guy, he’s really focused on his music and I admire his passion and continued dedication to music. He’s really passionate and he’s really fun to hang out with. We do hang out outside of all of this we often try to comprehend our homework together, which just ends up with us playing one on one basketball or footy.

“But most of the time the girls are there so we get told off by Caitlyn for not focusing on our work which just makes us continue to goof off until she gives up.”

As for Jasmin, he said:

“Jasmin is just one of the guys she tried to join the guy rugby team at school and is thus far the only girl to be able to join a rugby team in the A-class in the whole league that the school is in. She hangs out with us whenever she can’t hang out with Caitlyn and the others. She’s also been helping me by giving me advice on how to handle my emotions and how to react to other people. She’s also helped me get in touch with people who can help me control my anger and get it out on the field instead of on others.

“She’s really is amazing she helps everyone she can and wants nothing more than to improve the world from where she found it. She is also very scary so don’t mess with her or you’d be completely insane. She can flip a switch from being the sweetest most innocent person alive to being a ripper out of the vampire diaries in less than a second if you mess with her friends or family. It’s honestly terrifying.”

Though when I asked him about Caitlyn he wouldn’t shut up, he truly seemed like a love-struck teenage boy, which I guess he could be. Some of the highlights include:

“She’s one of my best friends and she sees through my bullshit and calls me out on it, I don’t know what I would do without her,” he said slightly blushing at the mention of her, “She’s about 98% of my impulse control and without her I think I would have punched everyone in the city by now.”

“She’s my best friend. I don’t really believe in soulmates, but if I did and they did exist, I believe she would be mine. Maybe not romantically but platonically.”

“I would love to date one of my best friends I think that the bases of any good relationship.”

“She’s such a sweetheart, she may think that she’s a badass but really she’s a kitten in a human suit. I mean she also has a bunch of cats so that’s probably where that influence came from.”

“The weirdest experience on set was when Rick, Brie and Tessa decided that there was going to be an end credit scene in the final episode of the final season of the underwater kiss scene thing. So me and Caitlyn agreed and when we had to film it in front of the green screen I remember she was completely terrified, so I took her to the side while everyone was getting everything ready and I asked her why she was nervous. I remember she said ‘I’ve never kissed anyone before, and I don’t really want my first kiss to be on camera.’ So I decided in less than probably a second I was going to kiss her just so her first kiss wasn’t going to be on camera and I remember afterwards her sisters threw popcorn at us and laughed because they thought we were being complete idiots. It was a lot of fun to shoot that day.”

But enough about the possibly budding romance forming between theses two star crossed teenagers. It’s my personal belief that these four amazing teenagers are going to change the world whether or not that’s for the best they’re coming. So watch out world! The kids of ‘Percy Jackson and The Olympians’ are coming to get you.

Photo Sets From The Shoot:

Brenten (Caleb McLaughlin):

Jasmin (Amandla Stenberg):

Harrison (Jake T. Austin):

Caitlyn (Olivia Holt):

The Watson Sisters (Alice - Taylor Swift, Beatrice - Florence Pugh, Dorathy - Sophie Nelisse, Ellie - McKenna Grace):

The Entourage of Friends & Cousins (Kenzie - Kira Kosiran, Lola - Kelli Berglund, Arya - Selena Gomez, Sansa - Amber Heard, Melisandre - Danielle Campbell):

September 2020:

The Watson Sisters Have Landed Themselves In Deep Water!

Once again the pop princess Alice Watson has landed in deep water but this time she’s dragged her younger sisters Beatrice and Caitlyn into as well.

This morning it was announced that their father, long to be thought dead, Jason Franks would be put up for re-trail on the charges that landed him in jail.

In late 2012 he was tried and found guilty of murder, rape and parental abuse by English courts and sentenced to life imprisonment. While we don’t know many details as of yet we do know that all three of the eldest Watson sisters will have to testify in court as they apparently did before, though this time the trail is going to be public meaning they are going to be allowing press into the court.

While it is not known whether or not the girls have spoken to their father since he landed in jail, it was commonly thought that he was dead. Which is why these three have landed themselves in deep water, as they have been leading the media on for years playing along as though their father was dead.

It is as of now unknown when exactly this trial will take place but it is known that Alice has delayed the production of her next album, much to the disappointment of her fans, to allow for the trail in her hectic schedule. It is also rumoured that the production of Caitlyn’s new mysterious Marvel show will be delayed as will the production of Beatrice’s new movie.

While I will repeat that most facts are as of now unknown some of the things we do know are as follows:

The Watson Sisters will be testifying in court (as of now it is unknown whether or not it is against or for their father)

Their father will remain in prison until the trial

Their father has a record of criminal offences such as selling drugs in nightclubs when he was in the airforce stationed in Canada.

The court date is set around March 2021

For now, that is all we know but until the date is set and the record is cleared it’s likely that these three girls will remain in hot water.

September 2020 - March 2021 A News Title Timeline From Their World.

The Watson Sisters Announce a Book That Is Said To Set The Record Straight

Caitlyn Watson, ‘I never told anyone anything to do with my father except that there was an incident.’

Alice Watson, ‘I don’t want to comment on whether or not he abused me.’

Beatrice Watson, ‘Go the fuck away, leave us alone, we just want to buy school clothes and deal with this in peace.’

Beatrice Watson Swore At Journalist In Front Of 8-Year-Old Sister

Alice Watson’s Instagram Has Lost Over 20 Million Followers

Caitlyn Watson Said To Possibly Be Fired From Disney

The Rock, Obama, Robert Downey Jr. And More Come To The Watson Sisters’ Side.

Celebrities And Fans A Like Applaud The Watson Sisters’ Bravery To Come Foreward In New Book

‘Their Book Shows People It’s OK To Come Forward If This Happens To You,’ Says Brie Larson

‘What Life’s Like’ By The Watson Sisters Is A Must Read For Everyone

‘What Life’s Like,’ Is Now The New York Times Bestselling Book Of The Month

‘What Life’s Like’ Has Soldout Says Publishing House.

‘The Real Victim Here Is Us, The People,’ Claims Fox News

Thousands Of Fans Show Their Support Of The Watsons By Stopping Media From Getting Into Court House

The Heart-Breaking Testamony Of Caitlyn Watson On Her 17th Birthday

The Watson Sisters’ Father Has Been Sentenced To 3 Lifetime Sentences In Prison

‘We’re So Proud Of Each Other For Getting Through That’ Says Beatrice Watson

‘I’m Now Just Going To Go Back To Mum’s Have a Cup Of Tea And Hug My Cats,’ Says Alice Watson As She Leaves The Courthouse With Her Sisters

‘I’m Happy It’s All Over Now And My Girls Don’t Have To Worry Anymore,’ - Laura Watson

We interrupt your scrolling to bring you an... AD!

[dweemeister]

NOTE: This review contains full spoilers.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

The ninth installment of the Skywalker saga is not only the conclusion to the Star Wars sequel trilogy, but to a decade where the Walt Disney Company has asserted itself as the most powerful entertainment company that has ever existed. The company, led by Chairman and CEO Bob Iger, is unrecognizable from where it was a decade ago, with Walt Disney Motion Pictures dominating, if not outright monopolizing, theater screens internationally. Unlike the movie moguls of yore such as Darryl F. Zanuck (20th Century Fox), Mack Sennett (Keystone Studios), David O. Selznick (Selznick International), or Jack Warner (Warner Bros.), Iger has a business background, not an artistic one. His respective $4 billion purchases of Lucasfilm and Marvel were decisions not made from cinematic considerations, but financial ones. The conservative artistry seen in Disney’s films in 2019 – including that other enormous blockbuster of the year, Avengers: Endgame – has evidenced where the company’s soul is. This is not the House of Mouse of Walt Disney, which ceased to be in 1968 after the final films Walt produced before his death were released to theaters.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is directed and co-written by J.J. Abrams (the other co-writer is Chris Terrio), who directed The Force Awakens (2015). The film goes out of its way to repudiate Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi (2017), which – though valued more than its predecessor by yours truly – unleashed a torrent of intra-fandom acrimony rooted in racism; sexism; and an unhealthy, uncritical merger of personal identity and pop culture franchise. This is not to absolve The Last Jedi of its plentiful shortcomings, but to comment on where the Star Wars fandom is upon the release of The Rise of Skywalker. The Rise of Skywalker is more of a continuation of The Force Awakens, and this includes Abrams’ propensity to craft variations on existing material. Yet even the most creative decisions in this ninth Star Wars episode are hampered by poor filmmaking, two-and-a-half films worth of plot stuffed into one, dreadful writing resulting in thematic inconsistencies and canonical contradictions that will be  explained away in some novel or video game, and an obvious lack of planning. The most concerning thing is that Star Wars’ reputation – despite my description of the series four years ago as, “a pastiche and always has been” – as an innovative force in cinema (even the prequels) has been lost. This is not the Star Wars of George Lucas, which ceased to be after Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm.

Without warning or foreshadowing, the opening crawl immediately states that Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) – who appeared to have died in Return of the Jedi (1983) – has broadcasted an ominous message to the galaxy. This message, which you can hear exclusively on Fortnite (this is not a joke), has caused widespread anxiety but, most importantly, has led Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) to Palpatine’s whereabouts. Palpatine has been orchestrating everything to seduce Kylo to the dark side, also revealing to the erstwhile Ben Solo that he has commissioned a fleet that will bolster the First Order’s by ten thousand-fold – a fleet that will send shivers down the spines of accountants anywhere. Elsewhere, Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher posthumously) is finalizing Rey’s (Daisy Ridley) Jedi training as Finn (John Boyega) and Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac; whose character is now Leia’s successor apparent) learn of the name of the planet where Palpatine is hiding, thanks to a well-placed spy. What follows is a series of fetch quests with the three central sequel trilogy heroes, accompanied by Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo), BB-8 (operated by David Chapman and Brian Herring), and C-3PO (Anthony Daniels).

The film features many others, most notably Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), Resistance ally Jannah (Naomi Ackie), First Order General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson), Allegiant General Pride (Richard E. Grant doing his best Peter Cushing impression), Poe’s friend/acquaintance/Abrams and Terrio’s written excuse to make him straight Zorii Bliss (Keri Russell), and R2-D2 (Hassan Taj and Lee Towersey). Lupita Nyong’o’s Maz Kanata returns in a glorified cameo; a handful of deceased characters make postmortem appearances.

Rose Tico made Kelly Marie Tran the first (and only) non-white actress to play a lead role in a Star Wars film. The character, along with John Boyega’s Finn, was given a poorly-written C-plot in The Last Jedi – Tran (who was subjected to online abuse prior to and after The Last Jedi’s release) and Boyega did their damndest in some of the worst sequences Star Wars has. The filmmakers (it is not exactly clear who is responsible, whether it is the screenwriters or the producers) have capitulated to the online trolls who attacked Tran (and her character) for her appearance, gender, and race. Her exclusion and other decisions in this film dispose entirely The Last Jedi’s antithesis that one need not be from a hallowed bloodline or an exclusive order to exemplify the bravery, compassion, and service to others that is celebrated within and beyond Star Wars. Rose Tico, described as, “the heart of [The Last Jedi]”, is an embodiment of the idea that the consequences of the multigenerational violence initiated or inspired by the Skywalkers – and, by extension, the centuries-old conflict between the Jedi and the Sith – are felt most by those without Force capabilities, military or political power. The Rise of Skywalker, through its treatment of Rose Tico among other storytelling choices, openly rejects this commentary and opportunity to present an untold perspective in favor of dynastic interests and expositional excess.

For Finn and Poe, The Rise of Skywalker represents another missed opportunity for character development. Finn, from the moment he appears onscreen, is too busy speaking expository points. Poe is given a lady friend so that homophobic censors around the world do not give Disney’s distribution managers a difficult time. The interest surrounding Rey (whose arc, as a mythic hero finally realizing her horrible family history as a Palpatine, comes to a merely satisfactory conclusion in The Rise of Skywalker) and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo – and yes, that includes their bewildering relationship that Abrams himself cannot coherently explain – will be endlessly debated in greater detail by others with a greater emotional affinity for Star Wars.

As the embodiment for the First Order for almost all the sequel trilogy, Kylo Ren’s/Ben Solo’s about face to the light after being stabbed in the stomach by Rey is unconvincing. This is a character who has been presented with numerous opportunities to renounce the ways of the dark side of the Force and has spurned each opportunity – even after becoming Supreme Leader of the First Order in The Last Jedi, with no authority figure influencing his conduct, and fully understanding the difference between right and wrong. He has acted predatory towards Rey in the form of physical threats and has demonstrated no willingness to change. Abrams and Terrio’s solution is to have Kylo Ren hallucinate a forgiving Han Solo (Harrison Ford, uncredited) to inspire this change – they might as well have had an angel and devil on Kylo Ren’s opposing shoulders because it would have been just as believable.

Too many aspects of The Rise of Skywalker depend on fanservice. The appearances of individuals like Lando Calrissian and Luke Skywalker’s Force ghost (Mark Hamill) are welcome, but do not add enough to the film from what the filmmakers are intending. The introduction of new characters in the final film of a sequel trilogy is additional bloat that will be better developed in a future Star Wars book, television series, or video game. This is an irritating development, as ancillary Star Wars media is not guaranteed (okay, with Disney’s money it is probably a certainty) and probably will not be consumed by the masses (especially in several decades’ time) – these characters and other subplots should stand independently within the film they appear. Abrams and Terrio’s attempts to provide a morsel of character development to these secondary and tertiary characters should have occurred in earlier films or scaled back for The Rise of Skywalker. Death is apparently a reversible thing, robbing scenes of emotional power and exemplifying how gutless the screenplay is – certain developments in how the Force works have opened dangerous precedents for future Star Wars media, making it resemble more like superhero media (where only Bruce Wayne’s parents and Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben remain deceased). It is further evidence that, as has been widely speculated, that Abrams and Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy approved this sequel trilogy without a comprehensible three-part story or, at the very least, a general idea of how to develop a logical story arc for this project.

Other questions raised but not developed across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi linger. The sequel trilogy dispenses with the tried-and-tested theory of the three-act narrative structure if analyzed from the entirety of the Skywalker saga – a trilogy of trilogies. Films and cinematic trilogies do not always adhere to this paradigm, but given how the previous eight episodes are told and how rigidly J.J. Abrams has kept to this structure in his career, it is stunning how the ninth episode completes the sequel trilogy’s incongruence with all that has come before. Episodes I, II, and III (“Act 1″) are the catalyst: with his fear unchecked and exploited by Palpatine, Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader and the Republic is overthrown by an authoritarian Galactic Empire. The Jedi Order is almost destroyed. Episodes IV, V, and VI (“Act 2″) sees the light confront the dark: Luke Skywalker becomes a Jedi and the Rebel Alliance lands a fatal, but not final, blow to the Galactic Empire. Anakin, “the Chosen One”, fulfills the prophecy of bringing balance to the Force.

Episodes VII, VIII, and IX (“Act 3″) – if we are assuming the traditional three-act structure that Star Wars has adopted in each of its films and the two preceding trilogies – should see how the protagonists create and maintain order leading up to and/or after the fall of the Galactic Empire. Thus, the sequel trilogy should see the reconstruction of the Galactic Republic and Jedi Order. More politics may not be what Star Wars fans want to see, but post-revolutionary/post-war states tend to be unstable politically and militarily. A post-Galactic Civil War period could easily see the violent death throes of Imperial and Sith-y remnants amid the restoration of the Republic. To quote from The Battle of Algiers (1966): “It’s hard to start a revolution. Even harder to continue it. And hardest of all to win it. But, it’s only afterwards... that the true difficulties begin.” Instead, this sequel trilogy is nothing more than a contemporary rehash of the second act. It is another dramatic second act confrontation, an escalation of the second act because we learn little about the post-Galactic Civil War period within the films. Palpatine’s zombified resurrection (Abrams’ responsibility) and defeat at the hands of Rey does not flow naturally from The Last Jedi and makes the final minutes of Return of the Jedi (which it partially copies in its climax) a lot less consequential than it should be. What should be the Skywalker saga’s third act is shoveled into the final ten or twenty minutes of The Rise of Skywalker.

The maximalism of The Rise of Skywalker requires it to juggle too many plotlines for an overlong fetch quest. It is not aided by the editing of Maryann Brandon (2009′s Star Trek, The Force Awakens) and Stefan Grube (The Force Awakens, 2016′s 10 Cloverfield Lane). In a series that has contained remarkable examples of film editing, The Rise of Skywalker is a franchise-worst – even the prequels had the decency to stay on certain shots for a few seconds to allow the audience to bask in the landscape, a certain character or creature, or a lightsaber duel. The film switches cameras too quickly, positioned too close to the characters. It occurs in the film’s quieter moments and during the climactic battles (the gold standard of editing in Star Wars battles is Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi v. Darth Maul in 1999′s The Phantom Menace; note how few cuts there are compared to most of today’s action movies and how Lucas is not afraid to pull his camera to a wide shot to let the scene feel larger than life as well as making spatial sense).

The Rise of Skywalker still feels like a space opera epic, with exciting action sequences abound here and there. The “secret sauce of Star Wars”, George Lucas will tell you, is not in the new worlds and aliens and those who use the Force. It is composer John Williams; The Rise of Skywalker is his final Star Wars score. This is not Williams’ best Star Wars score, but it is a masterful capstone to forty-two years of work. The newest and most fascinating musical ideas are both contained in the cue “The Rise of Skywalker”. Williams, whose motivic-heavy scoring relates ideas and grows alongside characters, provides a general main theme (0:00-0:54) and a friendship motif (beginning at 0:54) appearing in scenes where the bonds between Rey, Finn, and Poe are depicted. These few minutes exemplify how wondrous Williams’ ability to add complex harmonies underneath his soaring melodies is. Few other film composers living, if any at all, can have these two new musical ideas (these motifs are abnormally, but welcomingly, longer than usual for Williams) intermingling and in contrapuntal conversation to such mesmeric heights. 

The Emperor’s theme, as first heard in Return of the Jedi, makes its predictable and always-unsettling return here. But the other major motif introduced for The Rise of Skywalker is “Anthem of Evil”. This, introduced by choir, is expanded upon in “Approaching the Throne” and is befitting a being neither fully alive nor dead. The unsettling bass notes and low choir seem more appropriate for a horror film, but is entirely deserved for this film. One can also find excellent cues online (a favorite is “Falcon Flight”, which demonstrates the best of Williams’ action scoring) as of the writing of this review that do not appear on the initial commercial release album, but an album provided to Hollywood insiders for awards consideration (that album contains the best statement of Kylo Ren’s motif). This is a valedictory score, yet contains some of the best film music work of the year. We will give John Williams a pass if he is in a celebratory mood.

Williams has completed something that, in film history, only one other composer has accomplished. He stands alone with Akira Ifukube. Where Ifukube composed for Toho Company’s kaiju films/Godzilla franchise (from 1952′s Godzilla to 1995′s Godzilla vs. Destoroyah), Williams has composed for a multipart cycle of films released over several decades (nine films, like the nine symphonies of many classical music composers). Williams’ Star Wars cycle is the most popular example of what grand orchestral film music can do – how it lends greater emotional heft to images onscreen, its dramatic versatility, why it deserves a place in the concert hall and classical music history – among today’s audiences. The nine scores will be his defining work, but hopefully posterity will remember and see the genius of his compositions like Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), Schindler’s List (1993), and even his strict classical music and jazz pieces.*

Kathleen Kennedy’s mismanagement of this sequel trilogy has been laid bare by The Rise of Skywalker. In four short years, Disney has somehow run one of its most prized IPs into the creative cinematic dirt by attempting to please as broad a base as possible in this ninth installment. The creative choices of the last several years and The Rise of Skywalker alone has made being a casual Star Wars fan exhausting. As someone who did not watch a Star Wars film all the way through until I was thirteen, has it always been this exhausting? One day that exhaustion will make way for relief, but that will be long after Bob Iger is hailed for his supposed moviemaking acumen with Star Wars and Marvel leading the way. Iger, as mentioned previously, has not been visionary but mercenary for the Walt Disney Company, with Kathleen Kennedy and Kevin Feige his enforcers. He will remain in charge of the Walt Disney Company until the end of 2021.

This Star Wars sequel trilogy, popular as it has been, has been an artistic misfire. J.J. Abrams, more of a hype man‡ than the B-director whose has never shaken off his television background, has somehow regressed from the ideologically bankrupt Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) – hey, Trekkies and Star Wars fans have something in common! The filmmakers chosen to bring The Rise of Skywalker and this sequel trilogy were baptized in waters created when George Lucas, Gary Kurtz, and others redirected the flow of film history with Star Wars. Star Wars may no longer be guided by Lucas’ vision, but the artistry that arrived in theaters in 1977 can never be washed away.

My rating: 5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

Also in this series: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) and The Last Jedi (2017)

* These references to classical music history should not be construed as a claim that John Williams is an equal to Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, or Mahler - they are composing music in different artistic contexts (classical music for music’s sake is different from classical opera and both are contextually different compared to orchestral music written for a film). Instead, it is an acknowledgment that orchestral film music is gaining widespread acceptance as part of the classical music canon. Erich Wolfgang Korngold (1938′s The Adventures of Robin Hood), Alfred Newman (1962′s How the West Was Won), and Max Steiner (1939′s Gone with the Wind) created the vocabulary of film music in the early sound era and have - to varying degrees - been accepted into the classical music canon. The jury is out for the younger composers working in Hollywood in the twenty-first century.

‡ Abrams’ (and others as well) incessant teasing of LGBTQ+ representation resulted in a scene where two women we have no information about kiss in the background for a few moments after the Final Order’s defeat, surrounded by a bunch of Resistance soldiers also celebrating. Given the context, this kiss can be explained away as a moment of platonic affection that went further than it should (hypothetical: it’s nearing midnight at New Years’ Eve and folks are drunk everywhere... what do you think is going to happen?). Let’s not pat ourselves on the back now, filmmakers.

[icescrabblerjerky]

«51. Public kiss», Zolf and Oscar? Please? :D

Oscar runs his eyes over them all hungrily when they return, noting the new injuries, the hardships they’ve been through. He looks at the all in turn, starting with Cel, ending with Zolf, checking to be certain they have all the limbs that they left with, heart in his throat from far too many hours worry.

They look exhausted, but that’s to be expected. Hamid looks… amused. Which isn’t.

Zolf catches sight of him and gives him an open, relieved smile and Oscar sees that Azu looks amused as well. Cel... well Cel looks positively lascivious.

“What’s gotten into you all?” Oscar asks, even as Hamid gently pushes Zolf forward a step. Zolf rolls his eyes and comes forward, reaching out a hand to take Oscar’s. Relieved as he is at the contact, Oscar raises a skeptical eyebrow at Zolf. They had agreed to keep the relationship private. They had agreed that any information about what precisely they meant to each other was a potential weapon. “Zolf?”

Zolf reaches up and tangles his hand in the collar of Oscar’s shirt, tugging him slightly. “Zolf what?”

“We know about you two,” Hamid says, and he sounds delighted. Azu hums in agreement. 

“Yes, Wilde. We know.”

“How…”

Cel claps their hands together. “Oh he didn’t realise either you two are just so precious.”

Zolf is just looking at him. “Do you remember what you did, just before we left on the mission?” Zolf says.

“Briefed you,” Oscar says and Zolf shuts his eyes and draws in a breath. 

“Do you remember what I did, just before we left on the mission?”

Oscar has been very busy since coming to Japan, and hasn’t slept since they left for Shoin’s island for worry, but for Zolf’s sake he casts back and tries to remember the exact circumstances under which the party had left him, at his desk in the reading room, having just…

...having just…

“Ah,” he looks down at Zolf, who shrugs. 

“Under the circumstances,” Zolf says. “They’ve convinced me I need a welcome home kiss.”

“One that we can see, please,” Hamid pipes up. “It’s not as if you’ve ever been shy about that sort of thing, Oscar.”

Oscar looks over Zolf’s head at Hamid and scowls dramatically. “Allow for time and circumstance to change a man, Hamid,” he says.

“Demonstrably!” Hamid says, and he’s obviously holding back a laugh. “But Cel and I have a little wager on this and so…” he waves a hand and Oscar, exhausted and weak with relief at having Zolf back, whole and unharmed, laughs, strikes a pose and leans down to kiss Zolf with the dramatic flair of his London days. 

No one actually kisses particularly well in public but there is a sweetness to this, an acknowledgement. When he pulls back Zolf is smiling up at him and he can hear Azu and Cel and Hamid in the background applauding.

“Something worthy of a Harrison Campbell novel?” Oscar says, softly enough that only Zolf can hear.

“Better,” Zolf says, brushing Oscar’s cheek with a knuckle, then he turns his head to look back at the others. “I hope you ingrates are satisfied.”

“It... mostly makes up for having to walk across the bottom of the ocean,” Hamid says, then steps forward to squeeze Oscar’s arm. “I’m glad you’re looking after each other.”

“I’m glad you approve,” Oscar says. “I’d hardly like to be on the wrong side of a dragon. Shall we get everyone something to eat?”

“Oh gods yes,” Hamid says, over the sound of Cel’s enthusiastic agreement in several different languages. Zolf and Cel and Hamid move off towards the inn and Oscar is left looking at Azu, who has a soft smile on her face.

“Aphrodite approves, I take it?” Oscar says.

“I approve, Wilde,” she says. 

He grins at her. “Far more important, in my eyes,” he says, and motions for her to follow him inside.

They’re all tired, after all.