#hashtag true boyfriend behavior

[meep-meep-richie]

Love how they take the same pose

[emowonz]

₊˚ෆ ⊹₊ ⋆ that boy is mine P.SH ₊˚ෆ ⊹₊ ⋆

⊹₊ ⋆ IN WHICH - being in a secret relationship with your superstar boyfriend can be super hard to keep him to yourself! especially when he has thousands of fangirls drooling over him, so once he's finally off tour he shows you he's yours, your boy.

⊹₊ ⋆ PAIRING - boyfriend!sunghoon x fem!reader

⊹₊ ⋆ CONTAINS - unprotected sex (no), softdom!sunghoon, jealous! reader, afab reader, hoon calls reader (princess, baby, etc), fingering, profanity, breeding kink, and pussy eating.

₊˚ෆ ⊹₊ ⋆word count- 2k

⊹₊ ⋆ 🏷️ - @totaladolecense @heeseungsbm @twinsanz (lmk if you would like to be added!)

⊹₊ ⋆ a/n; was listening to ari and thought this was the perfect song for hoonie! hope you all enjoy ᰔ

June 15th, friday afternoon.

you laid in you and your boyfriends shared bedroom , that he hardly even slept in due to the overwhelming fate tour. You haven't seen your boyfriend since may 20th, sure having a famous boyfriend is fun. you feel mysterious perhaps like romeo and juilet a forbidden love until you have to sneak around to avoid paparazzi, barely even go on dates, you can't even be seen out in public sadly due to dispatch not minding their damn business.but do you regret dating sunghoon? of course not, you love that man til pieces and he loves you to the moon and back.

sometimes you would find yourself scrolling through TikTok suddenly searching "sunghoon edits" to even remember how your boyfriend looks. you tried your best to avoid opening up the comments because they always seemed to piss you off even though you are his and he is yours right? as you stalked the hashtag you ran across a video a fan interaction oh? you thought to yourself. you always skip the interactions they always seemed to be nice and just friendly compliments but this one was different.

it was a really pretty girl, which most of his groups fanbase are that didn't rub you wrong until now. you knew your boyfriend was attractive anyone can tell you that, exactly why you needed him to yourself. the video showed clips of her recording hoon and he seemed to keep looking her up and down strike one, taking her phone from her and recording himself with it strike two, and lastly during sendoff he blew her air kisses waving goodbye strike fucking three.

you were frustrated, who does he think he is? you thought as you looked down to the caption, "might sign a NDA tonight🤭" the caption read. your eyes almost fell out of your head how shocked you were. scrolling through the comments searching for any hate which you wished she received more. everyone agreed with her saying things like.

"omg he needs you soo bad im sick💔"

"i fear that nda was being handed to you after he even looked at you!"

"you guys would be such a power couple!"

this cant be true you shooked your head before mindlessly typing in the comment section "youre nothing bye" before coming to a halt erasing your message. it isnt the girls fault, if a famous idol was fliritng with you, you would react the same way. its sunghoons fault for even acting like this knowing he has a girlfriend at home. just as you were about to power off your phone and call it a night you recieved a call from no one other than hoon. you rolled your eyes before answering the video call, sure your upset with him but he did look really good in that video.

you answering as the camera revealed hoon, sitting in his dressing room with his camera propped up, his messy curls laying on his forehead as he pushed up his black glasses. he was in a black shirt with a black leather jacket on top, his honey glazed skin shining in the dim light almost set you off. "hey sugarbutt" he spoke in a raspy soft voice smiling at the camera looking into the camera to see your face but couldnt due to your camera being shut off. you were beyond irritated at Hoon for his behavior today.

his face scrunched up due to your camera being off, "hey princess can you turn your camera on, I miss your pretty face I cant wait to see you tomorrow" he chuckled as he rambled almost making you blush you and Hoon have been texting about him coming back home every since he went back to korea. you try your best not to melt at the tone of his voice. being you, you decided you wanted to be petty. "oh really I thought you missed hoonslover" you read out the girls username outlaid as you turned your camera on showing your pissed off expression.

sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows at your words as silence filled the call on both ends. "oh im guessing cat got your tongue mhm?" you question the man who seems like he's spaced out. "your tits look really cute in that tank top baby" he crossed his arms burning a hole through your chest with his eyes. heat run to your cheeks as you rolled your eyes placing your blanket over your chest. "oh so you think this is a joke? our whole relationship?" you jumped to conclusions.

"baby I don't even know what youre talking about, but whatever it is it isn't serious you know you're my number one" he stated as his tongue began to pop his cheeks and he cracked his red knuckles. "well it doesn't feel like it sunghoon, its not even your fans its you! I get it, its for business but for Gods sake Hoon you looked at the girl like you wanted to pull her on stage and fuck her" you rambled taking a big sigh after you let out your frustration, once again silence filled the call.

you rubbed your eyes feeling them began to get teary, "its whatever hoon, im just gonna go to bed ill see you tomorrow" you sighed. "wait princess let me-" just as he was about to finish you hung up before it turned into a even bigger issue. hopefully in the morning it will be resolved.

June 16th, saturday afternoon

you’ve been bed rotting almost all day, after the one sided argument with hoon you couldn’t even bare to even open up your messages while having your phone on dnd and ringer off. once you ran out of snacks you decided to get out of bed and go make some cereal just for you to plop back in bed. you sighed as you put your pink bunny slippers on the same exact ones you and hoon got to match, yours pink, his blue great timing.

as you walked into your kitchen grabbing a bowl from the cabinet you began to hear someone fiddle with their pockets reaching for a key maybe it’s just the people down the hall. until you heard a familiar whistle as the sound got closer and you seen the door knob jiggle.

oh shit you thought as you inhaled and decided you were gonna ignore him so he would feel bad and give you an apology right? your brain clouded with thoughts until he opened the door revealing sunghoon. he had on a simple black zip up with gray sweatpants, hair curly and over his forehead and once more with thoses damn glasses. you pretended you didn’t see the tall figure working his way up behind you due to you being “so busy with the food” once hoon reached behind you he wrapped his cold hands around your waist causing you to shiver.

“y/n” he spoke in a low stern but sorta comforting voice as he placed his head amongst your neck, feeling his warm breath hit your neck as your breath began to hitch. “sunghoon” you spoke trying to match his vibe as you heard him scoffed at you. “why were you ignoring my calls baby? still upset from last night mhm?” he asked as he began to leave soft pepper kisses down your neck, you let out a soft moan before snapping back into reality gently pushing him off your neck. all that time in korea he could be doing the same thing with another woman you shook your head at your overwhelming thoughts.

“Can I make it up to you princess? i’ve missed you sooo much” you could feel his smirk as he rubbed his bulge on your ass. You let out a soft moan due to the friction, your hormones began to overwhelm you making you decide you don't even care anymore. Fuck it you thought as you turned now facing the taller man as you pulled him down to your level making the man slightly crotch down as you grabbed his face shoving your lips desperately into his. Sunghoon immediately accepted the offer by grabbing your ass, picking you up and placing you on the cold marble counter.

Everything felt like it wasnt real, sorta like a movie. You snapped back into reality once hoon slipped his tongue into your mouth turning his head slightly getting a better angle.the two of you guys tongue fought for dominance. Hoon giving your ass a hard squeeze made you gasp allowing him to win as he started sucking on your tongue, now tasting the cranberry juice you drunk lingering on your tongue. As you grew more needy you moved your hand down to hoons pants rock hard you felt. You began to stroke his covered dick almost making his knees buckle as he moaned in your mouth. 

"jump baby, seems like I have to remind you im yours" he smirked pulling away from your lips out of breath. you obeyed his request doing a soft hop as Hoon caught you, his big hands grabbing your plump thighs. he leaned in kissing you again as you guys made way to the bedroom. he gently laid you on the bed now making contact with your neck man how you've missed this. he left soft bite marks as he returned back to your mouth like an animal.

he began to remove your oversized sweater that hid your figure. "no bra? fuck baby you're perfect" he groaned diving into your chest sucking your tit like his life depended on it, he pinched your nipple at he wasn't sucking on switching back to back on each breast. you moaned as the cold air hit your chest causing your nipples to harden.

"fuck I can't wait anymore, need to taste you princess" he grunted pulling your short shorts down along with your pink lacy panties off revealing your soaked cunt as he got onto his knees infront of you what an beautiful view. cold air making contact with your wet pussy making you shut your legs as Hoon forced them back open. "so pretty, such a pretty fucking pussy, my pretty pussy yea?" he questioned looking up at you. you covered your face in embarrassment due to you being the only person fully naked but Sunghoon didn't seem to care. "yes hoon, all yours" you mumbled. Hoon tapped your thigh making you look at him, "hey sugarbutt don't cover that pretty face, I got you" he stated in such a low teasing tone.

you couldn't take another second of the teasing, "please hoonie, please touch me" you whimper in anticipation unknowingly buckling your hips up as hoon chuckled at you. “patience baby, let me play with you yea?” he looked up at you with that damn smirk. you shook your head yea as your eyebrows furrowed.

sunghoon kept eye contact with you as he lowered his head down to your warm cunt before slowly licking your bud causing your body to relax and shudder slightly. he spread your lips open slowly shoving his tongue in and out your womanhood. "fuck I cant believe you would ever think I could even touch another woman after tasting you y/n" he spoke against your cunt lapping all your juices up with his tongue as you felt vibrates once he spoke.

you squirmed around as his words went straight to your heat, "h-hoonie I don't think im gonna last any longer" you stutter as you slowly felt your high creep up on you. "its okay baby let it all go, let it go for me" he spoke as his actions grew faster sucking your clit like now tomorrow then adding his index finger into your throbbing hole almost setting you off. "oh my goodness hoon, im gonna fuck im gonna!" you shouted squeezing your legs around his head almost suffocating him as you rode your high out on his tongue.

gasping for air as hoon slurped up your mess. "princess you did so good for me, I think you need an reward" he smirked wiping his juicy mouth off looking at your fucked out expression, little tears stains on your cheeks. so beautiful he mumbled before taking off his baggy sweats, as hoon removed his pants you anazlyed his beautiful features, his long eyelashes, his boyish eyebrows, and his little moles that you've counted many times.

"take a picture it'll last longer" he teased looking up at you snapping back into reality making you flustered. he chuckled looking at your shy expression, "you're so pretty baby, all I need is you" he spoke pulling off his black boxers revealing his member. did it get better in 3 weeks geez you thought almost drooling looking at it. "all I need is you too hoon" you whispered making eye contact with the man hovering over you. the two of you leaned in and kissed but this time it was full of love, geniune love to be exact.

getting eager you began to stroke his shaft making him groan, "fuck are you ready baby?" he questioned you. you nodded your head yes super fast. "words baby, say it with your chest" he spoke making your face heat up. "yes, im ready hoonie" you said as he gave you a slight smirk before teasing your hole slapping his cock onto your cunt making pornographic slap sounds as you moaned outloud. "put it in please" you begged as hoon slipped himself in you.

the both of you moaned in unison as hoon finally bottomed out. "fuck baby youre so tight, no other woman can ever make me feel like this" he rambled beginning to thrust in and out of you at an amazing speed as you bit your bottom lip containing your moans. "you're so pretty like this, im so fucking in love with you baby" he whined as he thrusted in and out of you. you moaned at his words, almost making you want to cry out in pleasure and in sadness.

"I love you more hoonie, you make me feel so so good!" you drag your words crying out as tears ran down your cheeks. hoon wiped them away before leaving down mouth capturing your lips. this position had him hitting your g spot like crazy. you began to ramble and moan so loud it could wake the neighbors up. "you're so tight baby I don't think im gonna last much longer" he moans against your neck as his pace thickened now massaging your clit with his thumb.

your eyes rolled as you felt your high hit you like a train wreck, "oh my gosh hoon im cumming, I want you to cum in me please" you shouted as you creamed onto his dick causing your body to shake. hearing your pornographic scream set sunghoon off. "fuck princess, im gonna cum, gonna cum in your tight pussy" he whined in your neck as you felt his load shoot up your body.

the two of you stayed there, hoon still on top of you lifting his head up. "I love you so much baby, and im so sorry that I ever made you feel like a second option" he stared into your eyes. the little twinkle in his brown eyes almost made you burst into tears. " I love you so much more hoon, and im sorry for not taking your word and trusting you"you said tracing your nails on his bicep."promise we'll talk about it before jumping to conclusions?" he raised his pinky up at you. "promise" you smiled locking thumbs with the man. you sighed preparing yourself for the next tour hoping you don't try to rip your loving boyfriends head off.

"you know you're really hot jealous babe?" he smirked at you flashing his fangs at you."shut up" you mumbled rubbing your face in embarrassment before speaking, "come on and take me to cvs unless you wanna be a idol father" you joked as sunghoon laughed picking you up out of bed and leading you to the shower to wash up.

maybe being jealous isn't a bad thing if it makes you end up in situations like this.

[unhingedhearties]

The Long Awaited Team Nathan Receipts

The majority of the repugnant behavior from When Calls The Heart fans that I’ve shown on this blog comes from the Hearties that are Team Lucas/Lucabeth fans. I’ve shown several images of people justifying this terrible behavior because “Team Nathan fans acted the same way” without ever showing proof. 

Like this for example. Posted literally a few hours ago. That is until today when one Lucabeth Heartie finally delivered the receipts, showing the equally abhorrent behavior that Team Nathan fans showed years ago which will totally excuse everything Lucabeth fans have said this year and help us to truly understand where they’re coming from.

WCTH fan Fleu to the rescue. I’m sure these are going to be good.

…The hashtags are cringey as Hell and definitely something Team Lucas fans have appropriated, but this reads like more of a light-hearted joke. Come on Fleu. As the kids say “DO👏 BETTER👏”

Now we’re getting there. This reads a lot like the temper tantrums Lucabeth fans are throwing right now. Right down to the “Elizabeth has become horrible. The show’s really lost its values”. They even tagged one of the actors. 

I’d really like to hear Team Lucas and Team Nathan fans explain why Elizabeth’s actions when she picked one man made her horrible, but when she picked the other man they made her good. What’s the difference? I know the answer just comes down to “the actor I think is hot is the righteous choice” but I’m curious what backwards logic they tell themselves to explain why they aren’t hypocrites.

…okay, yeah. Still cringey and still the same shit-flinging antics we’ve seen from Team Lucas fans, but I’m not seeing anyone downplay war crimes hours after they happen, then scream that they’re being bullied and “tone policed” or repeatedly go to the actor’s Instagram pages and call them slurs and tell them they’re going to Hell on every photo. Where are the Team Nathan fans harassing Erin and saying that she ruined their life? Where’s the Team Nathan fans saying that Erin’s “ugly” boyfriend “It” is the reason the show ended up the way it did?

It’s the same person talking about giving low scores to episodes on imdb. Don’t get me wrong, this looks incredibly stupid and petty and anyone caught doing this should be shamed, but surely more than one person did this.

Now we’re back on track. Angry Hearties really do sound like a broken record. At this point you can just make pre-written Rage!posts and let them fill in whatever name they want. Not an original thought or well-articulated argument to be seen.

Oh man, this one’s sad. I like how they gave themselves that stupid hands emoji. Truly a clever mind. 

(You just know they didn’t come up with “Pucas” right away and had to rhyme it with every letter that came before “P”).

Well damn, there you go. That is indeed exactly how Team Lucas fans are currently acting. Can’t argue with that proof.

This is going to sound mean, but it’s true, so I don’t care. A lot of pissed off Hearties love calling the cast ugly whenever the show doesn’t go the way they want it to. I’ve seen a lot of photos of you people, especially when the Hearties Family Reunion happens. There is not one of you that should be calling anyone or anything ugly. If this was Sparta, you’d be thrown off the cliffs. Defective does not even begin to describe the genetics I’ve seen in some of you people. If you’re going to make asses of yourself online, some self-awareness would do you good.

Oh my God! The only thing dumber than caring about imdb ratings is obsessively messing with them because the woman on TV you project yourself onto didn’t pick the hot guy you will never have in real life.

So… yeah. Team Nathan fans have indeed embarrassed themselves online. But I’ve still yet to see it done to the level of what’s been shown on here.

But that’s not the point. “They acted like grotesque sub-humans, so it’s okay if I do it” isn’t the winning argument you think it is. If your children (and God help any children these fans might have spawned) behaved that way, I doubt you’d allow it. It’s embarrassing to see a child act this way, it’s 10x worse to see middle aged women do it. You people complain about the show “losing its values” every season, what does Jesus have to say about your behavior?

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. Unless your favorite TV show makes a change you don’t like, then be as hateful and toxic as you want. Doubly so if other fans did the same thing years before.”

[the-expose-on-girls]

About #girlvsgirl

If you have seen many posts on The Exposé, you may have noticed a common hashtag throughout the blog: #girlvsgirl. No one has had a conniption about it, yet, but it's only a matter of time.

Society has done a complete 180 from the days of movies like Mean Girls and Wild Child, which almost encouraged a culture of catty drama and backstabbing between girls. These days, we are "enlightened" to the errors of living that way. Now, we are all about #womensupportingwomen, #girlpower, and #sisterhood.

While it's GREAT we are encouraging women to work together instead of against each other, this movement has not stopped women from mistreating other women and has also gone to the opposite extreme where women are not allowed to criticize the negative behaviors of other women (because that would be "hating" on them and you would be "crazy"). As one example, you aren't allowed to call out another girl for being too friendly with your own boyfriend; you must simply tolerate her actions and keep preaching #girlpower. As another example, if you vent about some girls you know being catty and excluding you, then you are "hating" on other women.

When the way that other women treat me has got me feeling down and I want some relatable music to turn to, there is little to be found and the few songs out there are hard to find, almost as if they have been swept under the rug. Oh, there is PLENTY of music out there with lyrics about bad men: messages like "he cheated on me, so now I'll wreck his fancy car" or "he didn't call me yesterday, so I'll sleep with his best friend". Songs like those are touted as "empowering", these days. (To which I say: empowering or TOXIC?)

But oh ho ho, heaven help the women who release songs into the current music scene, calling out bad behavior of their fellow woman. The backlash is overwhelming with accusations of "internalized misogyny" and "pick me girl". Songs like "Backstabber" or "Stupid Girls" wouldn't last a day in current society.

And now we get to the hashtag that appears in most of The Exposé's posts: girl vs girl. It is not used to encourage the pitting of women against women. It is meant to be a label for media where women can finally be open and honest in calling out the women who bullied and abused them. The goal is to create a term that can be searched on the internet to help girls find relatable music, stories, art, and coping solutions as they are being put through the metaphorical wringer by other girls.

This is a topic that needs more attention, so we can be more honest than plastering fake smiles on our faces as we chant "women supporting women" through clenched teeth. These girl power hashtags are like a pretty pink band-aid on a broken leg. What we actually need is a good, hard reset so there can be true healing.

So next time a girl's emotional abuse, gaslighting, betrayal, or other form of bullying has got you feeling low, search #girlvsgirl for some relatable content and help in your situation. Or maybe post your own story and include the hashtag. Let's find comfort and healing together.

[lifblogs]

Fandom: Supernatural Rating: T Pairing: Destiel Word Count: 4832 Summary: Dean is a contestant on the dance show 5678, and this year he has to be paired up with a partner until either one of them gets kicked off. Dean's partner is Castiel, the hot ballroom dancer with the stick up his ass. WARNINGS: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Undiagnosed Eating Disorder, Homophobic Slur

read on ao3

5678. Dean had watched every season of the show, and after years of training in contemporary he’d made it through the auditions, made it through the rounds of disqualifiers, and now he was at the live show. He was living the dream, even if he was working himself to death every week trying to make that dream come true. For this season partners wouldn’t be switched every week to give him a range of dancers to test his mettle with. Nope, instead the network had decided it’d be more interesting for everyone to be paired off, and to gain “diversity points” they decided not all of the couples would be the typical male and female. Dean was kind of bummed. Some of the girls, mostly the ballroom girls, like Anna, and especially Jo, were super hot, and their bodies could move, but he’d been paired up with Castiel, the boy from some small town in the Midwest whose crazy religious parents decided his name needed to sound angelic. He looked like an angel. Smooth skin, blue, blue eyes, like crystals reflected in the light of the sun, dark hair that was always perfectly messy. Castiel was also a ballroom dancer, and he didn’t seem happy to be assigned Dean. He made this obvious because aside from just being a couple on the show, they were roommates. Castiel decided to always get in Dean’s personal space, to stare at him even when he asked him to stop, to give him weird looks when Dean made pop culture references, and he turned him down whenever he asked him to join him for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And it wasn’t like he was asking him on a date. He just didn’t want to eat alone.

Castiel started spending more time with Zach, and he adopted a rather gruff demeanor, correcting Dean on his dancing, putting him in his place. Yeah, Castiel was the better dancer—he’d had a few extra years of training. But so what? Dean could pick things up fast, which was what got him to the live shows to begin with.

But Castiel was good-looking, and the way he could move was something Dean had only dreamed about. He told stories with his body, painted pictures that transcended reality, and sometimes, just for a few mere moments, during their rehearsals, Dean would lose himself, forget the steps, and just move with him, be with him, and those were the moments where they were the best. Their choreographers noticed it, told them to work on that intimacy. Dean blushed when they brought it up, not sure what that meant. Friendship? Or something more?

They’d finished up for the day, so, Castiel rolled up his sweaty shirt and stuffed it into his bag, pulled on a new one, and hardly gave Dean a look before leaving the studio. Dean shrugged at the choreographers, stuffed his feet into his shoes, and hurried out after him.

“Hey, Cas, that was great!” Dean called to him, speaking over the noise of the crowded city street they found themselves on.

“You need to work on the hits,” Castiel responded gruffly, completely ignoring his compliment.

“What?” Dean asked, jogging a little to catch up, and avoiding people as he did so. “I got too much energy for you, my angel?” he joked.

“Not enough energy.”

“Dude, this isn’t hip-hop. It’s ballroom. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Yes, and ballroom isn’t contemporary. We don’t float around like a bunch of fairy princesses.”

Dean tried to ignore his deprecating comments, and laughed slyly, thinking of the way Castiel could move his hips.

“Oh, buddy, I know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He shot him a disgruntled look.

Fuck, he looked good like that. Hair mussed, cheeks red, sweaty from a good few hours of creative athleticism. The bored part of Dean’s mind thought of other creative and athletic things they could be doing with their bodies.

It was a stereotype that a lot of dancers got down and dirty when they weren’t on the dance floor, which wasn’t true. Sure, he’d had a lot of girlfriends, and some boyfriends, but other dancers he’d known had gotten almost nothing. Like, Benny for instance. One girlfriend, and he’d only been with Dean a couple times.

“Oh, you know, just that… You know, forget it, never mind. Not important. So, you want to grab some dinner, listen to the song a little more?”

“Dean, that song is stuck in my head. I’ll be lucky if it leaves me after I die.”

“Okay, fair.”

“But dinner, come on. You, me, some burgers, a milkshake.”

“A milkshake?”

“Yeah, two straws?” he joked, wondering if Castiel would pick up on the fact that he was teasing him. “Choreographer said we gotta work on our intimacy.

“And I suppose you think that means we get in bed together,” Castiel responded bluntly.

Dean’s cheeks went red, and he stopped short. Castiel kept walking. It wasn’t long before he lost sight of him in the crowd.

“Hey, wait up!” he called, catching up to him. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh?”

“Look, you don’t like me, I get that, but—”

Castiel suddenly whirled on him, and Dean had to stop before he bumped into him. His partner was squinting at him, which Dean had taken a few days to learn meant he was confused.

“What do you mean I don’t like you?”

“Y-y-you correct my dancing, you get in my space, you stare at me, you don’t want to get food with me. I get it, but we need to win this.”

“Dean, I do like you.”

Dean pulled his head back, surprised.

“What?”

Castiel grabbed his arm, something that shouldn’t have startled Dean after all the touching they’d done during rehearsal, but it did.

“Come on.”

He walked them back to their room, hand on his arm, leading him the entire time, and Dean liked the way he was taking charge. It was nice to give in a bit. Though Dean was the taller of the two of them, if only by a couple inches, Castiel had been assigned the leading parts so far in their dances, so he supposed this behavior was natural for him. Besides, Castiel was not small. He was actually wider than Dean, and Dean was a big man. He was relieved neither of them had had to do lifts with each other yet, but he was sure Castiel had the arms for it.

They got inside the hotel lobby, and he pulled him aside to a secluded corner, next to a potted plant that kind of looked like a mini palm tree. Was it a fichus? Dean whacked at one of the leaves.

“I do like you,” he told him.

“What? No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I’m just an assignment to you.”

“You are. You were. Look, I like you. I just… I didn’t really have any friends back home, so I don’t know how to do this, and…” He lowered his head, cheeks reddening “Have you been on Twitter?” he continued.

“Yeah, a bit. Why?”

Castiel pulled his phone out of his bag, tapped on it a few times, and then turned it around to show the screen to Dean.

Dean studied it for a few seconds, scrolling, looking at the blue hashtag that seemed everywhere before asking, bewildered, “What the hell is Destiel?”

“It’s us, Dean. The fans, they… They ship us.”

“Wait, you know what shipping is?” Dean asked, breaking out into a smile when he realized Castiel had used a pop culture term.

His partner rolled his eyes.

“Don’t look so surprised. I had to look it up. It… It looked like it had to do with me, so I wondered, and I spent last night doing, uh, research? The fans, they want us together.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So… So that makes things awkward, right?”

“We can be friends though?”

Dean looked at the gorgeous young man in front of him, the desperation in his eyes that he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before, the kindness. Where had all this come from? Had it been there and Dean had been so wrapped up in himself, in winning, that he just hadn’t seen it before?

“Cas, is this real? You’re not just using me to win?”

“No, Dean. If I’m going to win, it’s because I’m the best dancer, not because I’m manipulative.”

“I don’t know, I feel like you could be pretty manipulative, I mean, with that hair, those eyes…”

“Dean.”

“Hmm?”

“Can we just be friends?”

“Friends, yeah,” he agreed, blushing once more when he realized what he’d been saying out loud. He hoped he could just lie that his cheeks were just flushed from their workout.

“So what is with you?” Dean asked as they rode the elevator up to their room. “You’re so in the moment, so tough. It’s hard to get through that.”

Castiel shrugged. “My dad was away a lot growing up, I didn’t have my mom.”

“Oh, did she leave?”

“I don’t know what happened to her. My dad never talked about her the times he was around. So I was raised by my big brothers, Michael, Luke, and Gabriel.”

Dean grinned at that. “More Biblical names?”

“Luke liked to tell me Dad was part of a cult,” he explained.

The elevator dinged, coming to a slow halt, and then the doors slid open. Dean and Castiel bumped shoulders trying to get out at the same time, but Castiel, still true to his gruff demeanor, pushed ahead and got out first, leaving Dean somewhat befuddled. Maybe Cas hadn’t noticed he’d acted in such a way. Dean tried to not let it bother him, and was instead trying to focus on the fact that this guy was finally opening up to him somewhat.

And he was definitely going to ignore the fact that he didn’t want to open up to him.

No need to tell him about all the nights his dad came home drunk, yelling at him, or the times his dad’s friends used him to put out their cigarettes, or the times his dad called him a faggot for being a dancer. Called Sam that too, even though Sammy wanted to be a lawyer. He hadn’t done as much to him though, especially since Dean had told Sam to keep things to himself to avoid getting hurt, and Sam had listened to him. He especially wasn’t going to tell him about the fire that killed their mom, and burned down their house, and left them moving from place to place, always being the new kids, never staying for too long. And then there were the times his dad would just up and leave, abandon him and his brother, sometimes without money or food, leaving Dean to do what he had to to take care of Sammy.

Dad never told Dean where he went, but he came back angry and drunk, and then they’d move again, so he suspected he’d gotten into trouble with the cops, or maybe some married woman. Sometimes he wondered if he had a sibling or two he didn’t know about.

“Was he?” Dean asked, realizing he hadn’t said anything about the whole “cult” comment.

Castiel shrugged.

“He was never around long enough for me to ask him. He’d kind of just drop in, tell us what to do, make sure we all knew Luke was his favorite, and then leave. That’s just how it was.”

“You have any guardians?”

“No. Michael was old enough by the time dad left. He hates Luke. Luke hates him too. Sometimes I swear those two are gonna kill each other.”

Castiel swiped his card in the lock, the light shone green, and he opened the door to their room. The nice thing about their room was that it was much bigger than an ordinary hotel room. They had plenty of space to move around, a slightly bigger TV, a microwave, a fridge, a coffee machine, a minibar, a table with two chairs, a stuffed chair and a lamp in the corner, and a window with a nice view over the city. The bathroom was pretty nice too. Dean enjoyed the water pressure in the shower. There was also a big dresser between the two beds, and a dresser that the TV was on. The beds were almost too soft for Dean to get used to.

“You’re joking,” Dean said, hoping he was right.

“Sure.”

His partner didn’t sound too convinced.

“First shower?” Castiel called, drawing an end to their conversation.

It was a question, but he always did this, so Dean just nodded, and let him have it.

He sunk down onto his bed, not caring that he was sweaty—besides, he figured he might have to be up all night getting those hits right. Dean did okay with their other song, which was a jazz routine, and Cas did too. That one wasn’t so bad. It was a story about two dudes, two roommates who wanted to get takeout but couldn’t agree on where to order from, and the props were numerous amounts of food menus that would get all over the stage by the end of the song. There was also a fake phone involved, with a power cord, and a little bit of tying up, with Dean being the one to get tied up. Go figure. Cas, always the one in charge. It made Dean want to slap him sometimes.

But the way he grew up. It sounded hard.

Maybe they weren’t so different.

~~~

“I’ll go.”

“Excuse me?”

Dean had just gotten out of the shower and was in a pair of shorts. It was hot outside given that the beginning of the live show wasn’t that long after summer break started up, and for some reason Castiel had steamed up the bathroom before Dean had gone in. He didn’t really feel like putting a shirt on at the moment, just wanted to lounge around until he cooled off. Castiel was sitting at the table, with his phone out, writing what looked like notes on the little pad of paper provided by the hotel.

“To dinner. I’ll get dinner with you.”

“As friends?”

“As friends.”

Dean sat down and ran a hand through his still-wet hair. “So uh… what ya thinking? Burgers?”

“No, I cut red meat out of my diet.”

“Pizza?”

“Too many carbs, and you can get bloated from dairy.”

Dean sighed, sitting back in his chair. “Come on, do you ever have fun?”

“I’m just trying to stay fit.”

Dean gestured down at his body. “Look at me, I’m fine, and I eat what I want.”

Castiel scrolled through his phone, frowned at what he found there, and then his lips turned down in a little pout. He placed it down on the table.

“Burgers?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Dude, you serious?”

Castiel rubbed at the table with one finger, and Dean couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his hands were. Well, he’d noticed before. He’d happened to watch Castiel’s audition over and over again, watched the strong hands that moved his partner Hanna, lifted her in the air, twirled her around, pulled her close, pushed her away, told her where to go.

Hanna hadn’t made it, and Dean could see why—her lines weren’t precise enough—but Cas? Wow.

“They’re kind of my favorite. It’s why I cut them out.”

“Oh, dude, now we have to go!”

“Great, grab a shirt.”

“Nah, I was thinking I should go out like this. The ladies love it.”

“But I won’t.”

Dean gave Castiel a knowing look, just to tease, not sure how serious he was being about this. “Come on, what’s not to love about this?”

“Dean.”

“What?”

“Shirt. Now.”

“Fine, but when we get to contemporary, your hands are gonna be all over this.”

Castiel frowned at him, but it wasn’t out of anger. His eyes were squinting in the way he did when he was confused, head tilting. It was… cute.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“If I would my bed would be a mess right now.”

A strange noise left Castiel, maybe a growl, and he covered it up by clearing his throat. In a few seconds Dean was nearly one-hundred percent sure he’d imagined it. Nearly.

~~~

Dinner with Castiel was… interesting. That was one way to put it. He ate a lot. Dean did too, of course. He always did, which he chalked up to the fact that he was a big dude who spent most of the day working out. It was made worse by the fact that they didn’t talk, both of them looking at their phones. Dean couldn’t help himself and was looking through that tag on Twitter that Castiel had shown him earlier. It was… somewhat terrible.

He placed his phone in his pocket, trying to ignore it, but he was starting to realize something.

“So what you said earlier, about me not getting the hits,” Dean began, “I was thinking of heading down to the studio to work on ‘em tonight.”

“You know you need me for that.”

Dean shrugged. “Figured I’d use a broom.”

“That only works in movies.”

“What? It was gonna be a sexy broom.”

Castiel wiped his mouth on his napkin, and placed it down with a sigh.

“Do you want my help?”

Now Dean was interested in his French fries, and he stuffed a few in his mouth.

He mumbled a response, not sure how he was supposed to explain to his partner that beneath all his joking he was actually nervous about Castiel being better with this dance than him, “No’ rea’y.”

“Dean, you’re not a ballroom dancer.”

“And?”

“And, do you want to get voted off?”

“Hmm, let me see…” Dean began, taking out his phone again. He opened up Twitter once more, and searched for the hashtag he was looking for. What he found was just as overwhelming as it had been a minute ago, some of it embarrassing, some of it cute, some of it a little too much, and some people needed to get banned from Twitter. “‘At 5678, OMG, Dean and Cass are the cutest! Hashtag Destiel, hashtag season fifteen winners,’” Dean read. “Ha, she spelled your name like ass.”

“Let me see that.”

Castiel grabbed the phone from him, and Dean tried to reach for it, but his partner had already drawn it back. He was hurriedly reading, scrolling with his thumb.

“’Castiel needs to bone Dean, hashtag Destiel’? ‘Cas and Dean equals hashtag Destiel’. ‘Hashtag Destiel for season fifteen winners’ ‘Hashtag Destiel…’ ‘Hashtag Destiel…’ ‘Hashtag Destiel…’ ‘Hashtag season fifteen winners. They do know there can only be one winner, right?”

Dean took his phone back, mouthed, thank you, rather pointedly, and scrolled to one of the Tweets he’d seen earlier, and then showed it to Cas.

He read: “’Hashtag Destiel, pull a hashtag Katniss and Peeta, hashtag Season fifteen winners.’ How would that even work?” he asked.

Dean shrugged, turning his phone around.

“Point is, they want us to go all Hunger Games, so I don’t think I’m getting voted off anytime soon.”

“But we’ve literally just started the show,�� Castiel pointed out.

“I don’t know, Cas, people are crazy.”

To Dean’s surprise a small smile alit Cas’ face.

“What? What is it?”

“On Twitter,” he began to explain, “when they call me Cas I hate it, but when you say it… I really like it.”

For the first time in awhile, Dean had no response to that, and he lowered his face to try and hide his blush, especially since he was sure he could feel Castiel’s inquisitive eyes on him.

“Dean, are you sure you don’t want help tonight?”

“I just… when I joined I told myself I could do it all on my own, you know? And now I’m finding out that that ain’t so easy. Hell, you’re not so easy.” Castiel’s eyes were wide when Dean looked up, maybe slightly scandalized, and he realized his mistake. With a laugh that pushed aside some of his insecurities for the moment, he went on, “No, no, not like that. I’m keeping it PG here. For now.” He winked at the last words jokingly, before going on, “But seriously, I want to be your roommate, and your partner, and do the best I can, but… asking for help, especially from the guy who I thought didn’t like me at first—”

“I didn’t.”

“Great, yeah, that helps.”

“But I do now. Very much so.”

“Look, I’m just not used to asking for help. I always had to do everything on my, especially with looking out for my little brother. The partnering thing that we’re being asked to do, that’s new for me.”

Castiel’s hand reached out across the table, and for a moment Dean just stared dumbly at it. What, did he expect them to hold hands?

Cas cleared his throat after an awkward silence, and pulled his hand back.

“You didn’t tell me you had a brother.”

“Yeah, he’ll be starting his sophomore year in high school soon. Kid has barely hit his growth spurt yet. Growing up, I… I was the one really looking out for him. And I guess I really want to win so I could give him that prize money, make his life better.”

“That’s a beautiful reason for winning, Dean.”

“Eh, maybe the other one isn’t so beautiful. I also just want to prove to myself that I can do what I want to do, that I don’t have to be like…” He trailed off, realizing where this conversation was going.

“Like?” Castiel prompted.

Dean shook his head. “Never mind. Look, you done with your burger? Maybe… Maybe I could use a partner tonight.”

The warm smile that Cas gave him had affection Dean wasn’t used to blooming in his chest. “Of course, Dean.”

~~~

After paying they headed back to their room to grab their stuff, and then they went to the studio. A few of the other contestants were there, including Benny who was a jazz dancer, and his roommate Zach, a tap-dancer (Dean couldn’t roll his eyes hard enough at that). Zach’s partner Rowena, the ballerina was there as well. All of them were so focused that Dean and Cas didn’t bother saying hi. They just got their own room and set to work.

It was a bit easier to practice without the slight fear that cameras were going to show up at any minute to film some clips for the next episode. Though, they’d already had their time in front of the cameras of course, and then there were the interviews. If Dean relaxed enough he really began to feel like a celebrity. Though despite how fun it could be he still found it easy to stick to his purpose. Win for Sammy, and maybe win for himself along the way.

“Okay, okay…” Castiel called, grabbing Dean’s hips to stop him. “No, just… move with my hands. We can start slow.”

Focused, Dean did as Castiel said, letting his strong hands guide his hips left to right as they counted, and he paid attention to how far out he made them go.

“Good, so bring it up to the tempo, and keep it just like that.”

Feeling what he was supposed to be doing instead of just being told or shown really helped, and Dean found that he was soon really getting it.

They danced till they had the song beating in their blood, till they were sweating, and their bodies were sore.

While they sat on the floor, taking a water break, Dean pat Cas on the thigh, delighted and exuberant from their practice session so far. And it was good to have a partner who he knew had his back.

“You’re really good,” Castiel said. “I think what you want to do for your brother, it’s a really good thing, but you shouldn’t forget yourself.”

Dean slowly put his water bottle down, and found himself meeting his eyes, unable to tear his gaze away. Some kind of odd feeling was fluttering in his stomach, and he felt warm all over, and not just from the workout.

“This kind of show, you don’t just audition because you want money. You want to go through the experience, and really feel what it’s like to be a professional dancer, to do what you love. I can tell this is what you love. So don’t forget that.”

“Wow, Cas, uh… Wow.”

“What?”

“You can get pretty deep and sentimental, is all.”

“Perhaps one of us has to.”

“Or… or both of us could,” Dean ventured. Castiel was silent now, his full attention on Dean, not even drinking from his water bottle. “I do want this for myself. I do. And the reason is… well, my dad—he never went easy on me. Ever. I’m not sure he even likes me. It… it makes it difficult for me to like myself. I just want to show myself that I don’t have to be like him, that I can do something I enjoy and feel good about. I want to feel good about myself, Cas. But it’s hard, you know? It’s really, really hard. But when I dance, I forget all of that, even for those few minutes I’m up on stage.”

Castiel leaned his head back against the wall. “Sometimes I think I’m just doing this to make my dad proud, or to make myself useful to the family.”

“What was that you said about not forgetting yourself?”

Cas cracked a grin, and gave a gentle laugh, despite the pain etched onto his face.

“Wow, we’re both kind of a mess, aren’t we?”

Dean stood, and held out his hand, “I think that’s the best part.”

Castiel reached up for Dean, even that movement so graceful. When Dean pulled him up, Castiel surprised him by saying, “Hey, I’m a little sick of this dance for now. How about you show me some contemporary?”

“We really should work on ballroom.”

“We have the rest of the week. I know we’ll get it.”

Feeling excitement beginning to bloom in his chest, anticipation ready to burst, Dean went to get a song up. And he kept that feeling inside himself, willing it to spread to all his limbs. He would use that, use what he felt to put it into his body. With his body he could say things he never knew how to put into words.

A slight blush crept onto Dean’s face when the first line started, SYML singing, “Darling, please, take my hand.” With his hand held out, Castiel took it.

Castiel had done some training in contemporary, and he picked up the lesson easily. Before long, Dean was admiring Cas’ extensions even while he did his own work, and then they’d come together again, or push each other apart as the song dictated. They held each other, touched each other, all of Dean’s body understanding what all of Cas’ body was saying, and he was sure it was vice versa.

Time slowed, even as it rushed by in heated motions and achingly precise movements. The song became everything to Dean, and when Cas fumbled, he was right there to pull him close, or to come up from behind him, and hold out his arm or his leg for him, positioning it with the tempo.

When the next song began they still danced in Dean’s style, Cas clearly enjoying it, figuring things out as he went along. The next song was “Can’t Pretend” by Tom Odell, and when the chorus hit Dean was surprised to see Castiel positioned to beckon Dean into a controlled leap that Castiel would carry him through.

Dean wasn’t even nervous that they’d never done lifts before, even though it’d been something that had been itching at the back of his mind earlier in the day. Towards the end of the lift Cas’ arms shook, and he fumbled it, and Dean went down. He laughed, pulling Cas with him. Cas landed on top of him, his face so close to Dean’s as they laughed.

“Oh, feel our bodies grow / And our souls they play / Yeah, love, I hope you know / How much my heart depends / But I guess that’s love, I can’t pretend / I can’t pretend, oh…”

Feeling the music, the moment, laughing as he was trapped on the floor beneath Castiel, his body already starting to throb a bit from the fall, he kissed him.

And Cas kissed back.

“I guess that’s love, I can’t pretend / I can’t pretend, oh.”

For that moment, winning didn’t matter. Only what Dean wanted right here, and right now did, what Cas wanted, the music, the welcoming exhaustion in his muscles, the sweat glistening on their skin. For that moment, Dean was glad to have Cas as his partner. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

[meetmebehindthemall13]

About the whole ttb debunking stuff

I honestly find it really difficult to stan this.

To be honest, I do not take everything TTB or other main blogs post as absolute thruth, personally sometimes I doubt the sources as well because I have a hard time trusting what unknown people say in general, let alone online. I also had personal contacts with some of them where they weren’t super kind or polite too. And I do believe some stuff is really trying to hard and reaching.

BUT I find it really difficult to stan a blog created specifically to systematically debunking them because:

1) If you are an ex-Kaylor.. it means that at some point you too believed there was more than meets the eye. It means you, too, read between the lines of the public canon narrative and lyrics and you came to believe that things weren’t really black and white. If they were, there wouldn’t be such a numerous group of people who believes in Kaylor, right?

So, to me, this approach kind of diminishes the credibility of the whole thing. It’s an attempt to systematically dismantle every theory or post a blog puts out there. This kind of approach only stands if you are 100% positive that without a doubt that blog only puts out bullshit. So much that you feel confident enough not only to debunk or examine post by post or theory by theory but that you jump right at debunking the whole blog. Which is totally centered on something you used to believe.

That resonates with me more as a “I used to passionately believe in something, I got skeptical, I got burned now I’m bitter” than a “I realize some of the stuff might really be a reach and I’m not 100% sure the whole Kaylor thing is real, let’s try to have a constructive conversation about different theories or topics and let’s help each other out”.

2) The argument that Taylor’s relationship is not up for speculation. I don’t totally agree.

Taylor has proven that she is aware of everything (EVERYTHING) that is said about her on social media, especially on Tumblr. She could’ve shut the whole fandom down, just as she has done with wedding rumors with Joe. Tree is one of the best PR pro out there. If you think she is not aware of all this, you are wrong. And yet, no official statements.

Not only this. She is fully aware of memes or inside jokes in the general fandoms, she reads theories, she knows which meanings we attribute to symbols or songs. She knows we speculate in general, on lyrics meanings, on aesthetics, on promotional choices etc. As a matter of fact she expects us to, she has trained us for it and encouraged us to do so in the past years. She knows what some things mean in the fandom because they have been discussed for years. And instead of taking some distance or avoid to bring them up, she just includes these elements in her songs, in visuals, in outfits etc... it’s leverage.

She’s not a baby, she’s not defenseless. I’m just saying she’s a super smart bad ass business woman, she’s more intelligent than all of combined, and at this point she mastered the art of taking her career AND her reputation exactly where she wants to.

And since I see it coming, let’s address the “she never invited us to speculate on her personal life though”! True. But she did say her art, mostly her songs, are what comes from her heart the most authentic and intimate part, but everything else IS strategic. And she takes full credit for the promo strategy she chooses to market her album with and she says she’s in charge of it! And as many have previously stated, if you claim that you want to keep your relationship so private and secret but every time something comes up about it, it is so conveniently and timely followed by promotional boosts for you or your boyfriend’s career, you kind of accept the consequence that some people might get confused and take it as part of the strategy itself.

I cannot say that Kaylors are 100% right just as I can’t say people who don’t believe in Kaylor are. But there are grey areas for sure and there is ground for speculation.

I am doubtful at times, sometimes I see a lot of reaching. I’d be happy if there were more grounded, rational, leve headed and critical thinkers among Kaylors but I just don’t think this approach is the best. If you are complaining that main Kaylor blogs are acting as messiahs, bringer of indisputable truth, in my opinion you can’t save the situation by being petty, flooding their hashtags and acting like you’re the Police and you are, in fact, bringer of your own opposite but still indisputable truth.

It just kind of seems the same symmetrical behavior, don’t you think?

[varchieforever]

Okay, so this post is probably going to be a little over the place because I'm just going to write out my feelings about what I think about how Riverdale handle their social media promotion right now and also feelings I have if they make B*rchie happen romantically. I apologize in advance for my spelling since English is not my native language.

I know Riverdale have not yet gone there with B*rchie but I know the Varchie and Bughead fans and even the B*rchie fandom are all fired up and the shipper wars are out in full swing everywhere. It's not so much about the actual writing of the show and we can't change whatever the writers have in store, it's their story to tell. It's mostly about social media accounts. I am digusted with their behavior and how they're promoting the show with the whole #b*rchierising hashtag, the writers, the network, Archie comics, a lot of adults behaving very irresponsible just doing it to create chaos and wars. I wish they would just stop and think about the consequences and what this is achieving and what they push out to a target audience that's mostly very young viewers. They're solely creating chaos and anxiety!

As far as writing in B*rchie in a romantic way this late in the series with two established strong couples in both Varchie and Bughead with love stories cemented in the series since season 1, I think it's wrong on so many levels. But like I said it's not up to me but I hope the writers stop and think about what kind of message they're sending out and what going there would mean for all characters involved. One of the things that attracted me to check out Riverdale in the first place was the fact they said they wouldn't be doing what every other teen drama had been doing for the last 20+ years. That was to not create some sort of "love triangle" whether it would be two guys fighting over the same girl or two girls fighting over the same boy. It was out-dated and they were right it is.

This quote about a television love triangle (Beverly Hills, 90210) reflects clearly how I'd feel if Riverdale went there. I wish I didn't have to post this in the year 2020 because this love triangle was written in the early 90's so it's almost 30 years ago and after that we know many followed the same pattern. I wish just one show could stay away from this concept, branch out and stay true to the characters and stories they've told and I still have hope the Riverdale writers will.

"I actually remember getting that storyline and being incredibly upset about it. And it wasn't because Brenda was losing Dylan. I thought that it was really wrong that we were putting that out there, that we were saying, 'Yes, it's okay for a best friend to fall in love with her best friend's boyfriend and cheat with him.' Where's loyalty, where's friendship? And isn't loyalty the most important thing in this world? Along with love, those are two of the things I grew up valuing the most." - Shannen Doherty interviewed 2012 about her feelings about the writers doing the Brenda/Dylan/Kelly 90210 triangle.

[digitalsocietyblog-blog]

The Power of Trolls

In the evolving digital age, social media has become a large part of many peoples’ lives. We use it to communicate with friends, advertisers use it to sell new products, and celebrities show off the behind the scenes of their lives. With around 7.8 billion people making up the population, 3.8 billion of these people are active social media users (Statista, 2020). Despite many people using social media for positive reasons such as entertainments, activism and social change, the focus of this blog post will be looking at how social media can enable ‘trolling’ through users being able to be anonymous and hide their true identity.

So what exactly is trolling? Trolling can be referred to being ‘a complicated phenomenon that cannot be reduced to a single definition or explanation’ (Synnott, Coulias & Ioannou, 2017). However, Baker (2001), Cox (2006), and Brandel (2007), describe trolling as the posting of incendiary comments with the intent of provoking others into conflict. Those who troll view their actions as entertainment and take pleasure in hurting others anonymously and is often a result of wanting attention, boredom and revenge (Shachaf & Hara, 2010).

Those who troll often do not intend to cause long-term harm, however there are consequences to this form of online bullying. These consequences include lowered self-esteem, depression and in some cases suicide (March, 2017).  Aged just 40, Caroline Flack committed suicide in her home (Bagwell, 2020). Before her death, Flack was facing criticism online due to the claims she assaulted her boyfriend. Despite her partner disputing these claims, Flack received death threats, abuse online and even criticism in mainstream media. Many people, including MP Lisa Nandy blamed social media for failing to prevent the trolling Flack was facing, stating ‘In no other area of life would we allow private companies to police themselves. We ought to make sure the state has a system of regulation and support around that’ (Proctor, 2020). Following her death, many social media users shared #BeKind, a hashtag used by Flack. 

Flack’s case is just one example of the effects of trolling; but it should be taken into consideration what social media platforms are doing to prevent online abuse and how they are punishing users who troll. Platforms such as Instagram, Twitter and Facebook allow users to ‘mute’ notification based on certain keywords, report users and ‘block’ accounts (The Sun, 2019). However, due to the ability to be anonymous, those who troll are able to make new accounts to continue their trolling even after users have blocked the trolls’ original account. Currently there is an online petition to make online abuse a specific criminal offence. This would mean those who are found guilty will no longer be able to make anonymous accounts due to having their IP Address blocked.

It can probably be said that internet trolls will continue to exist despite the attempts made to diminish the number of trolling cases. It is important that social media users do not engage with trolls but continue to be aware that words can have an everlasting effect on people. This blog post will end with a quote shared by Flack a few months before her death – ‘If you can be anything in the world, be kind’. 

 …………………………………………………………………………………………….

Bagwell, Matt (February 2020). Caroline Flack Has Died, Aged 40. Retrieved from: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/caroline-flack-dead-dies-love-island_uk_5e482b9dc5b64433c617296c [accessed 16/03/20].

Baker, P. (2001). Moral panic and alternative identity construction in Usenet. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 7(1).

Brandel, M. (2007). Blog trolls and cyberstalkers: How to beat them. Computerworld 28(32).

Cox, A. (2006). Making mischief on the web. Retrieved from: http://www.time.com/ time/magazine/article/0,9171,1570701,00.html [accessed 16/03/20].

March, E. (July 2017). Psychology of internet trolls: They understand what hurts people but simply don’t care. Retrieved from: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-13/trolls-understand-what-hurts-people-but-they-simply-dont-care/8701424 [accessed 16/03/20].

Morse, F. (2013). Trolling And Online Bullying ‘Affects One In Three’. Huffington Post UK. Retrieved from: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/02/21/trolling-online-bullying-lolz-not-trolls-_n_2732660.html [accessed 16/03/20].

Proctor, K. (February 2020). Caroline Flack: politicians condemn press intrusion after presenter’s death. Retrieved from: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/feb/16/politicians-condemn-press-intrusion-after-caroline-flacks-death [accessed 16/03/20].

Shachaf. P. & Hara, N. (2010). Beyond vandalism: Wikipedia trolls. In Journal of Information Science, Vol.36. pp.357-370. Sage Publications.

Sun Reporter. (September 2019). Online Hate: what is the law around internet trolls and trolling?. Retrieved from: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9915679/what-is-the-law-around-internet-trolls-and-trolling/ [accessed 16/03/20].

Synnott, J., Coulias, A. & Ioannou, M. (2017). Online trolling the case of Madeleine McCann. In Computers in Human Behavior, Vol.71. pp.70-78.

[parkminijiminie]

You do realise at how Jm was looking at some of the better physique interviewers and talking abt Mendes happily when Jk was right there!?!?! I really think Jk deserves someone better. not someone who sees him as a "loyal subordinate" or likes him for his "mind". Jm has been so upsetting drg these interviews. Stay strong, JK! This trip will be a hard one for you.

I debated with myself whether or not I should answer this ask and to what extent as I’ve seen it going around and a lot of good bloggers have already shared their thoughts on it. But I decided that one more doesn’t hurt and repeated questions like this actually give an opportunity for the matter to be discussed from all sides. So even though I doubt you will read this, Anon, I still wanted to address it more for myself and my followers than for you. So here we go

I’ll start with a question that is bugging me quite a lot and  that I find problematic: 

Why is Jimin never enough for some people, in general and regarding Jungkook?      

When Jimin smiles a lot, you say he’s “flirting all the time” or in extreme cases that he is “a slut”. When he doesn’t smile, then “he hates America” or “hates white people”. When he shows his affection to Jungkook, posting pictures of him with special hashtags, talking about him or hugging him, you say “he is the only one who initiates things”, that JK “only tolerates him”, how “Jimin should move on”. When he is more passive and lets Jungkook be the instigator or give attention to someone else, people go “Jungkook is not special to him”, “Jimin does this to everyone”, “He is only playing with him”. Part of this fandom is never satisfied with Jimin. Either he’s giving too much or too less. Even if he just sits still and breathes people still find things to be upset about and blame him for. He just can never win. 

How can anyone even have doubts about how special Kookie is to Jimin, how adored, loved and spoiled with attention, care and affection he is by him, I will never understand. There is never an interview or a vlive nowadays where JM is not praising him; he is always the first to compliment and hype him, to push him when Kook needs it, to support him. Jungkook himself said Jimin is his biggest stimulant on and off stage. He himself specifically chose “There for you” to describe their relationship: a song about always supporting someone and them always having your back.  Are we talking about the same Jimin who didn’t leave Jungkook’s side when he almost fainted? The same person who goes most frequently to JK’s room and spends the most money on him (Jungkook’s words)? The exact same man who was ready to sleep on the floor for Kookie, who gambled his own money so that Kook doesn’t stay hungry? Do we have the same Park Jimin in mind or did some of you get confused? 

Don’t even get me started on how much compliments Jimin has said about Kookie, how much he has hugged him or touched him (on his neck, his waist, his ass, his thighs, his face etc). So much so that there are whole compilations just of him playing with Jungkook’s butt on stage at the end of DNA. JUST on stage. He is so touchy and loving with him that more often than not it looks like he can’t keep his hands to himself. I don’t know about you but it looks to me Jimin quite likes what he sees in Jungkook.

The two particular examples you give all have an explanation behind them: 

“The loyal subordinate”: a teasing comment made in the same day when coincidentally Jimin couldn’t keep his eyes off JK’s face (he scanned his features with his eyes, stopping at his lips). 

If you look for a deeper explanation other than that JM was simply joking, then here’s one for you: For YEARS Jimin was said to be chasing Jungkook around while Kook supposedly “hated him”. Of course, we know that was never the case, they were close even before debut but people even to this day like to repeat the same old story. Jimin, being the social media king he is, is of course aware of this. Do you imagine how hard it must be to give affection to someone (who you know loves you as well) and see a thousand comments about how he hates you? Do you realize how painful it could’ve been for him to see this all over the Internet even when he knows that it’s not true? 

So from time to time he likes to remind us how special he is to the Bunny, how appreciated he is and how none of the bullsh*t is true by saying things like “Jungkookie always comes to my room”, “Jungkookie only gave a present to me”, “Jungkookie bought the tickets (for the Tokyo trip)”, “He is my loyal subordinate”. He does it to show people that JK does in fact care a lot for him and that no, their affection is not one-sided. Maybe he does it because he is aware how Jungkook struggles (or struggled) with expressing feelings with words or simply because he is happy with their close relationship and wants to boast about it. But I assure you, in no way is he treating Kook like a servant. Yeah, maybe he likes being spoiled by him but I think as much as he likes receiving, Jungkook likes giving. Example: 

JM: Jungkook will pay (for his parents’ celebration) 

JK /confidently/: I CAN do it !!! 

So, I don’t think there’s any taking advantage of anyone in this relationship. Jimin babies Jungkookie a lot and in the same time he gives him a lot of privileges. So much so that JK feels they’re the same mental age and often speaks to him informally and casually. (a big thing in SK as you all know)

“The mind” comment: First to clear things up - Jimin didn’t say “he likes Jungkook for his mind” only. He was asked to name a physical feature of Kook but he chose his mind instead. 

To me this is such a precious moment actually. Jimin’s said numerous times how attractive and sexy Jungkook is and has admired his physique. A comment about his lips or smile would be nothing new to me and wouldn’t get me so excited.  Instead of just giving a generic answer about a part of his body (which we know he appreciates, given the above examples of how much and often he touches said body), Jimin complimented Jungkook’s brain, his way of thinking, (something JK himself said he loves about his own self).  Kookie, just like Jimin, is someone who is sexualised and objectified A LOT in the fandom, even in his most vulnerable times, for example when he almost fainted. He is not really known or usually praised for his mind, rather for his body and athleticism. He is often degraded to just his looks or a shipping tool. Which makes Jimin’s comment a lot more meaningful and impactful. There’s a saying that goes well with his answer: “If you want to give a good compliment, call a person who is often regarded as beautiful smart and a person who is always praised as smart beautiful”.  Or another one, that I really like and find especially fitting: “I’m in love with your universe”. 

There’s no doubt in me whatsoever that Jimin loves Jungkook’s universe. Not just his body, or his handsome face but also his talent, his goofiness, his whole self.

Finally about JM and men in America. He complimented an admittedly gorgeous singer, he found an interviewer attractive, he smiled and giggled and was amazingly charming. All behavior that is not foreign to him. Sure, you may say he is more open and expressive but assume he truly is attracted to men. He’s a celebrity and his every action is scrutinized. Idols dating always brings scandal but being a gay/bi one is a sure way to risk your career if you get exposed. If he truly is not straight, that is a big part of himself that he must protect. He might “hide” behind fan service and skin ship but he can’t really be open about his attractions considering his status and that Korea is still homophobic. Which is why his ideal type is always a girl and why Jungkook is often referred as “his brother”. The U.S.A might not be paradise but it’s a lot more accepting and open which gives him the chance to act more like he maybe wishes he could in other countries but can’t. Hence why he may seem “wilder”, “more flirty” and etc. But why are people acting like this is the first time he found someone good looking or as if he’s offering himself to sleep with these men, is beyond me. He is just being his charming and attractive self, it’s who he is but maybe in America we see him a little bit less guarded. 

What he’s done so far is not a crime or something to be concerned about even if he is romantically involved with Jungkook. In fact anyone who has ever been in a serious relationship will tell you that you don’t just stop finding people beautiful. You still have eyes, you can still admire someone and think they are hot, you can even have innocent crushes. You’d just never do anything about those things because you’re happy with what you have. You’re only admiring. I’ve had a serious boyfriend for years and I gush about Jimin to him, sometimes I even say to him “wow, what a sexy man” or “what a pretty girl” and he to me. It doesn’t faze us that the other can appreciate beauty in another person from a distance. Beauty is beauty and that’s that. Of course these are personal examples and I can’t speak for Jimin and Jungkook but I think many people who are seriously committed will agree with me on this. 

As a conclusion what I’m trying to say is that Jimin has shown plenty of times his admiration, affection and attraction to Jungkook. In fact I’ve written a whole post about this HERE.  So there is no need to exaggerate and over dramatize. And also, please stop treating PJM like he is only looking for someone to sleep with. He might be but we don’t have a way to know. From what I see he’s just being his gorgeous self and people are bound to find him attractive and fall for him. I mean, he exudes sex appeal (and many more things) naturally so that’s a given. 

To all the Jikook shippers out there reading this (very long, sorry) answer I’ll say to consider this: Jimin may smile and giggle and raise his perfect eyebrows at anyone but there’s only one Jeon Jungkook who can turn him into a shy, flustered, blushing mess with just a simple sentence and the change of his voice’s tone.

Exhibit A: “Jimin-ssi”, “Jimin-ssi”, “Jimin-ssi” 

Exhibit B: “Where do you think you’re going?” 

Exhibit C: “Jiminie-hyung was acting”

Exhibit D: “Who’s the cake for.. I want to eat it, it looks delicious” 

Exhibit E: “I can tease Jiminie hyung to no end” 

Exhibit F: “Do you hear my heart beating?” 

I can give you an example for every letter in the alphabet, both in English and in my native language. Peace 

[rebelwheelssoapbox]

Pretty vs. Visually Interesting: Thoughts On Gender, Beauty and Disability

(TW: The following article discusses oppression, gender, ableism, body image struggles & verbal abuse.) As an artist and photographer, I am drawn to people who look visually interesting versus someone who just looks pretty. To be clear, one can be visually interesting and attractive. Attractive is a very subjective thing that can vary and although one’s idea of attractive might be influenced (consciously or unconsciously) by what society deems as pretty, it does not need to conform to such rigid ideas to qualify as beautiful. Yet as a woman, I am aware of the great lengths society goes to remind me that I should strive for pretty. For although it is 2018, in ways we are very much stuck in the highly rigid and toxic gender roles, where a man's worth is defined by his ability to earn money and thus be a “good provider” for his family and a woman's worth is defined by her ability to attract a man via her ability to conform to the societal idea's of beauty (aka: pretty).

[image of a cisgender appearing man and woman on their wedding day in their wedding attire].

This of course, is toxic for many reasons: for one, it portrays marriage, monogamy and having kids as something that is right for everyone, when it is not. It's also based on a very hetero-normative standard, when there are other equally valid sexual orientations. It falsely suggests there are only two sexes and two genders, and lastly that one's gender (a man-made concept that says that one's appearance and behavior is based on what's in your pants) is determined at birth by one's sex (which is just not the case) But I digress. The idea of pretty (at least in regard to women) is a rigid standard of beauty that typically favors whiteness, cisgender appearance, sexy – but for the sake of the male gaze, slim over fat (or fat in “acceptable areas” like the chest and ass), and certainly bodies that are not visibly disabled. And thus is also highly toxic because it's not something that everyone can achieve.

[a model looks towards her right]

And if a woman's worth is supposedly determined by her ability to conform to pretty, (which of course is not actually true, but that's what is promoted in our society), then cue all kinds of internal struggles between who a person is (how they appear and how they feel) and who they think they ought to be if they are to be accepted, loveable and good enough. If they are to be of worth.

Though not my only identity, as a visibly disabled woman, society makes it pretty clear that I can not be pretty. According to society, disability (when visible) can not be pretty, as our bodies do not conform to the able bodied standard. In fact, the more visible my disability, the more backlash I get. This is not to say that disabled people can not be beautiful, because we are. We're just not pretty – but we don't need to be.

In fact, as an artist and photographer who favors imperfection in their subject, I strive to look visually interesting over pretty. This is a conscious choice. I wear my disability identity as a badge of pride using hashtags like Disabled AF #represent, and thus taking the power back.

[image description: a circle design with a purple, blue, purple, yellow and then orange border. It's circles within circles. The main fill of the circle however is red. The text is yellow "Disability Pride is not about loving your symptoms 24/7. It's about rejecting the idea that they make you inferior. #disabledAF #represent " ]

When I think of pretty, I think of boring and being boxed in. When I think of visually interesting, I think of subversive and freedom.

But I didn't always feel this way. When I was a little kid, I used to love going through various fashion magazines. I liked looking at all the women, with their gaze and shiny red lips. I am sure it was partially because I was queer (bi) but didn’t yet realize it, but also because that whole world just looked so exciting and glamorous to me. Around the age of 10, I decided I too wanted to be a model, so my mom drove me to a local modeling agency where a grown woman, looked at my belly with disdain and said “You'll have to lose that.” 

[a photo of a model from the 80′s with blonde feathered hair, and eyes that are looking at the camera]

It was the first time I became aware of my body in regard to worth. Up to that point, I never looked at my body in the mirror and thought I am this or that. It was just a body. It helped me play outside and I covered it with clothes, but it was never good or bad. It just was. But in that moment, it became clear that the lack of flatness of my stomach was bad.

There were other factors  (I grew up in a volatile household where I was called things like stupid bitch, fat, ugly, and often I was not physically safe) but I think it's safe to say that the experience at the modeling agency, was one reason why I developed a really toxic relationship with food and weight, often starving myself till 3pm, overeating and then exercising. I also desperately wanted a boyfriend in my teenage years because I was not conscious of how family and society had influenced my idea of worth. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner nor a loving relationship, but it is toxic when you feel you need a partner to show to the world, look how of worth I am for I was able to attract someone who is willing to date me. In time, and especially as I was exposed to third wave feminism & the riot grrl scene in the 90's (which yes can be problematic, but in this case was helpful), did I start to reject this quest to look pretty. Did I start to view pretty as this concept of beauty that celebrate the few and oppressed the many.

[a photo of Bikini Kill, a band from the Riot Grrl era]

In fact, in time, the more visible my disability became (as it was invisible enough in my youth, where most people didn’t think of me as disabled, just clumsy), in time the more I celebrated the beauty of imperfection. The beauty of visually interesting over pretty. I realized society is going to gawk at me regardless if I dress in all beige or wear loud colors. They are going to stare whether I dance or not (literally & symbolically), so I might as well just dance (spoons willing and if my heart so desired.)

By this time, I had also cut ties with many people in my family who were not capable/willing to treat me right – the way I deserve to be treated and also became better friends with food, eating when i was hungry and no longer depriving myself, nor equating my worth with my weight.

[a photo me in Betty, my motorized wheelchair wearing black combat boots]

Not to suggest that I always have my shit together, because I don't (and that’s okay. Does anyone actually have their shit together all the time?), but for the most part this is where I was at.

And it really wasn't until recently (2018), when I decided that I would start taking selfies, that the toxic influence of pretty came knocking on my door. Yes, I am late to the party. Honestly, I had nothing against selfies. It just never really occurred to my brain that I should take them. But being a YouTuber and noticing that fellow content creators post selfies of themselves on social media, I thought I too would give it a go.

Could I take a solid photo of myself? I thought it would be interesting to challenge myself artistically, since I am normally not the subject of my work. And since I am way more comfortable behind the camera then in front of it when it comes to photography, let's see what happens when we challenge ourselves on that level. But the more I took photos of myself, the more the focus was on me and my face, the more old demons came back to haunt me.

And while I do think that when people from marginalized demographics (such as the disability community) take & post selfies, that this can be an act of protest and can be used to create much needed representation, I started to become aware how certain selfies got more likes, shares and thus validation than others.

When I posted a selfie and no one responded, I started to feel self conscious and wondered, is it me? Is it the photo of my face that is somehow not enough? (Is it not pretty?) My past started to creep up on me again as I started to view my physical appearance with a super critical eye, noticing anything that looked “out of place.” Noticing the contrast between the selfies with the “perfect” makeup, “perfect” angle and “perfect” lighting (who got tons of shares & likes) versus mine who had none of those things. Even if I wanted to, I didn't have the spoons (energy) to put that kind of effort into a selfie and it started to mess with me.

[an artsy selfie with a blue tint and I am looking towards the right]

It wasn't until I started to take more artsy selfies, did I realize this is how I am comfortable being seen. It wasn’t till I took a more creative approach, did I start to care less how many people liked it, if people liked the photo, because I liked the photo, and that was enough. Only then did I start to re-embrace the way I look and celebrate the imperfection.

It was during hour 3 of the expedition, that I saw it... the elusive green diamond! #DaDaDaaaaaaaaaaaa #NerdySelfie [photo of my face with my mouth covered by a tie die scarf. reflected in my black rimmed nerdy glasses, is a green diamond (a reflection from the computer but shhhhh] So while I may subversively explore ideas of pretty in the future, for that is the freedom of doing visually interesting, I do not foresee me and pretty spending time together any time soon and that is a beautiful thing.

[a B&W photo of me wearing my black rimmed nerdy glasses and grinning ]

[theconservativebrief]

By now, you’ve probably heard the story.

Last week, an actress and photographer, Rosey Blair, asked to switch seats with a woman on a plane from New York to Dallas so that she could sit next to her boyfriend. Blair proceeded to live-tweet as she observed the woman and her new seatmate chat and eventually start flirting, discussing their mutual love of working out and subtly touching elbows, all details captured and posted by Blair. Her thread went mega-viral, racking up 900,000 likes, getting picked up by national news outlets and earning Blair thousands of new followers.

Many initially thought the story was adorable, even if others found it creepy and intrusive. Then the incident took an even darker turn.

An online hunt began to find the identities of the couple, now identified by the hashtag #PlaneBae. The man, a former professional soccer player named Euan Holden, embraced the media circus, but the woman, uncomfortable with the newfound spotlight, hesitated. That didn’t stop the online mob from tracking her down. She began receiving crass, sexually explicit messages in the comments of her personal Instagram profile.

She deactivated her social media accounts and declined an invitation to go on the Today show. Blair and Holden appeared without her. No one asked her if she had any reservations or concerns about being made part of a viral story. All she did was board a plane and chat with her seatmate. Now she is a public figure, a hashtag, and a target. Millions of strangers on the internet want to know about her personal life.

The erosion of the division between public and private has been coming for a while now. Maybe it started with reality television and the dramatic storylines broadcast to millions about people just like you falling in love. (Though those people willingly signed up to become public figures.) Maybe it was already in the works before then: People have always turned other people’s lives into public spectacle regardless of their will.

When I was 22, I wrote my first paid article for a publication on the internet. My essay, written under my own name, was about what it was like to date with genital herpes. I expected maybe a few thousand people to read it on the Women’s Health website; it wasn’t even going in the physical magazine. At the time, I was an intern at a media company, less than a year out of college, and my only brush with fame was as a 13-year-old writer of moderately popular Harry Potter fanfiction.

The herpes article went viral. Not just “few thousand retweets” viral — I mean invitations to go on daytime television viral. Two days after my essay went up on Women’s Health, I was featured in a trending article on the Washington Post website. It was aggregated from there on Yahoo, Jezebel, and eventually even The Daily Mail, where an enterprising staffer tracked down my private Facebook profile and raided it for photographs to use in their article.

There I was, smiling brightly in a picture my mother had taken as my father blew out his birthday candles. Of course, they cropped my father out, leaving me grinning and alone as hundreds of Daily Mail readers wrote comments underneath attacking my character. This slut, this shameful whore. She should kill herself for having an STI.

The next year I would find myself at the center of a new controversy when Genius, a well-funded startup that mostly writes annotations on song lyrics, launched a new tool allowing their users to annotate any website, anywhere. I wrote a blog post detailing why I thought the product was unethical, as it ignored the consent of the website creator and let strangers essentially scrawl graffiti on our intellectual property. I was also concerned it would be yet another tool in the hands of abusers, stalkers, and harassment mobs to come after me on my personal blog; since going viral, I had spent a year receiving horrifying sexual emails from strangers.

Sam Biddle, writing for Gawker, found my case unconvincing. His argument boiled down to my status as a public figure. “It’s brave and noble of Dawson to publicly try to combat the stigma of STD infection,” he wrote. “But when she writes ‘we need more voices to challenge the single narrative of herpes,’ she’s already acknowledging her place in public—it’s right there in the ‘we.’ If you want to advocate for a cause in front of an audience (and judging by the fact that her website has a ‘Press’ section, I’m assuming she does), you have to take what comes with it. Dawson says she has a blog ‘to have total control of how I write and who interacts with me.’ If only this were possible! Unfortunately, this is a fantasy, and will always be so.”

Chelsea Hassler, writing for Slate, argued the contrary position: That as a blogger with a few articles published, I was not someone who rose to the level of a “public figure.” I was an individual, an amateur. She wrote, “There’s a substantive difference between critiquing the work of a professional journalist or blogger and critiquing the writing of an individual who is using her blog as an outlet to communicate with other likeminded people.”

People like me pose a challenge to traditional understandings of the public-private divide. I write about my personal life, and sometimes I get paid to do so. I have fewer than 20,000 followers on Twitter. I’ve had a handful of short stories published in anthologies by indie houses and my blog has steady traffic, but I don’t have a Wikipedia page. Would you consider me a public figure? At what point did I become one? Would it change your mind if I told you I’ve never wanted to be one?

I don’t think there is any such thing as a “private person” anymore. The vast majority of us constantly groom our internet presence, choosing the right filter on Instagram for our brunch and taking polls of our friends about our next Facebook profile picture.

We don’t think about this as a public act when we have only 400 connections on LinkedIn or 3,000 followers on Tumblr. No one imagines the Daily Mail write-up or the Jezebel headline. We actively create our public selves, every day, one social media post at a time. Little kids dream of becoming famous YouTubers the same way I wanted to be a published author when I was 12.

But there are also those of us who don’t choose this. We keep our accounts locked, our Instagram profile set to “friends only.” Maybe we learned a lesson when a post took off and left the safe haven of our community, picked apart in a horrifying display of context collapse by strangers who we didn’t intend to speak to. Maybe we are hiding from something: a stalker, an abusive ex, our family members who don’t know our true queer identity. To some of us, privacy is vital.

A woman boarded a plane in New York and stepped off that plane in Dallas. She chatted with a stranger, showed him some family photos, brushed his elbow with her own. At no point did she agree to participate in the story Rosey Blair was telling. After the fact, when the hunt began and the woman took no part in encouraging it the way Holden did, Blair tweeted a video in which she drawled, “We don’t have the gal’s permish yet, not yet y’all, but I’m sure you guys are sneaky, you guys might…” And her followers did not disappoint.

When people called Blair out for this blatant invasion of privacy, she blocked them. Because she, apparently, wanted to control her own boundaries. Later she tweeted about wanting a job at BuzzFeed.

I don’t know what the woman on the plane is thinking or feeling. I don’t know if she’s afraid or angry or mildly amused but inconvenienced. But I know how it feels to see strangers scrawling obscenities on social media accounts and email inboxes you once considered safe, commenting alongside your friends and family members. I know the sour humiliation of knowing everyone in your life can see that strangers have written about you — your parents, your co-workers, your exes.

Even when the attention is positive, it is overwhelming and frightening. Your mind reels at the possibility of what they could find: your address, if your voting records are logged online; your cellphone number, if you accidentally included it on a form somewhere; your unflattering selfies at the beginning of your Facebook photo archive. There are hundreds of Facebook friend requests, press requests from journalists in your Instagram inbox, even people contacting your employer. This story you didn’t choose becomes the main story of your life.

There is no opting-in, no consent form, no opportunity to take it all back. It feels like you are drowning as everyone on the beach applauds your swimming prowess. What do you have to complain about? Why wouldn’t you want publicity?

It’s clear that to Blair, the violation of this woman’s privacy is less important than Blair’s growing platform and ambition. It is not a romantic comedy for the digital age. It is an act of dehumanization.

A friend of mine asked if I’d thought through the contradiction of criticizing Blair publicly like this, when she’s another not-quite public figure too. But Blair is not just posting about her own life; she has taken non-consenting parties along for the ride. While Blair uploads gorgeous Instagram photos to celebrate her body on her birthday (I say this genuinely: You go, girl), the woman on the plane has deleted her own Instagram account after receiving violent abuse from the army Blair created. As the content creator of this media circus, Blair is responsible for the behavior of its fans. When faced with the opportunity to discourage their privacy violations, she has done the opposite: “I’m sure you guys are sneaky.”

You become a public figure the instant that someone else decides you are worthy of interest, even if you are minding your damn business. Maybe you will tweet a joke. Maybe you will squint in a friend’s photograph. Maybe you will yodel in a Walmart. Or maybe you will board a plane.

This essay is adapted from a blog post that originally ran on Ella Dawson’s website.

Ella Dawson is a sex and culture critic whose writing has been published by ELLE, MTV, Women’s Health, and more. Find her at elladawson.com and on Twitter as @brosandprose.

First Person is Vox’s home for compelling, provocative narrative essays. Do you have a story to share? Read our submission guidelines, and pitch us at firstperson@vox.com.

Original Source -> The dark side of going viral

via The Conservative Brief

[blog315]

Online Minorities

I’ve noticed every so many years, a fresh, loud, obnoxious batch of raucous racism rears its head for the world to see. The 90s saw the Rodney King beating, and recently we have witnessed multiple police shooting, beating and killing black men with few, if any, consequences. That’s not to say racism goes dormant in between these blasts of media coverage. Like Cisneros and Nakayama state, social media and the internet have given racists a platform, but where they hint at the anonymity of users possibly being a cause of their nerve to speak like that in any context, I also wonder if these social media users are so often surrounded by like-minded people that they somehow think it’s normal behavior. That sounds like a stretch a bit, because it’s delusional, but isn’t being a racist bigot also delusional? The fact is, these online racists, like the ones who claimed an Indian-American woman was “Arab,” “a terrorist,” and “not American,” have expelled any notion that racism is behind us. This awareness, however, has allowed the more tolerant population an opportunity to speak up against racism on an equally public stage. And that’s where it all gets really tricky. The thing is, white privilege is real, as the theory of post-racism suggests, and in entertainment, white washing is prevalent. However, with the surge of awareness of racism online, many jump to call racism and white-washing without thinking it completely through. A few months ago, maybe longer, there was an article on one of the accounts I am following. The topic was Game of Thrones being “too white.” I couldn’t go far back enough to find the piece, but I remember it well enough. “Where are all the people of color?” Was a question that was emphasized. People were becoming offended before examining the elements of Martin’s world. The story and places in it are heavily borrowed from Europe and European history. Some have even theorized so far as to assign countries to territories as they think Martin drew inspiration. Dorne is Spain, Casterly Rock is England, Winterfell is Scotland, The Reach/ Highgarden is France, etc. Even the shape of Westeros is the United Kingdom with an upside down Ireland on top. Like in our world, the farther south, or closer to the equator you go, the darker skin tones will be, so Dornish people are darker—totally consistent with reality. Essos, to the east, is inspired by many different people including the Huns, Native Americans, middle Eastern’s, etc. these people are also darker. Some people in comments suggested that certain characters (from westeros) be black. Like Tyrion should be black and Cersei, his sister, white with golden hair. This might work for some people, but to me, this is excessive and distracting. People of the same region and families should resemble each other, I’m suspending disbelief enough with dragons (Arya and Sansa looking totally unrelated still bothers me). Cisneros and Nakayama note “new racism denies the significance of race,” and inserting random darker-skinned actors where it doesn’t belong makes no sense and denies the significance of race in the show, like the unsullied (who heavily represent the atrocities of slavery), the dothraki, and other players from Essos. Race plays a role in the show, and mixing it up without logic takes away from that.

Speaking of denying significance, jumping to scream “racism!” Or “white privilege!” All over the internet where it doesn’t necessarily belong takes away from the significance of combatting real racism, as well. This plays into stereotyping, racist people see this and jump at the opportunity to call us all snowflakes or something else equally meaningless. In class we talked about Ellen Pompao, and I researched the tweet and the responses that followed. A&E had changed the name of a program about the KKK to something more appropriate and she praised them, followed with black hand-clapping and thumbs up emojis. Someone responded and Ellen clapped back about racism being everyone’s problem, which is true. Maybe she could’ve elaborated more, but it’s 140 characters, and let’s be serious, her message and intent were blatantly obvious. People with problems about her tweets were perceiving them the way they saw fit, in order to insert racism where they could argue about it. One woman mentioned her being a privileged white woman, which begs the question, can white people who inherently have privilege not show solidarity and compassion for a cause that is not “directly” theirs? These attitudes add to the divide; they don’t encourage anything positive. Another woman tweeted her to inform Pompaeo that her [black] husband and children were not props. I found this the most offensive tweet on either side. She never mentioned her family, but this woman, who was black, attacked them anyway, even though it was obvious they were on the same side. My boyfriend is half black. My half sister is half black. My niece and nephew are black. If anyone accused me of using them as props without my mentioning of them, I’d be fuming to the point that I would be dangerous. So who does this racist problem belong to, if not all of us? When I was reading Sarah Florini’s piece on “signifyin’,” I was reminded of what I was telling my boyfriend about subcultures not actually “belonging” to anyone. If I want to wear cowboy boots, I can (I don’t, though). I don’t have to listen to country. If I want to dance to hip hop (again, not my thing), I can. I don’t have to be black. So when she mentioned the language patterns that belong to the culture of black twitter, I thought, hey, I kind of want to look up these hashtags and make fun of Drake, but, I guess I’m not allowed? The whole thing is kind of confusing to me. I get that their identity is important, and having that culture is imperative to their identity, as is all of our cultures and subcultures. But like with Game of Thrones, when someone who is new to watching the show shows up in the comments jumping on a thread, trying to get in on the inside joke, they’re still welcomed-- maybe shamed slightly, but in fun. Not really. I’m not trying to compare the importance of these two subcultures. Clearly, one is more important than the other. But like I said before, sometimes things can become divisive when they shouldn’t. It’s a complicated road to combatting racism while appreciating differences—a road filled with eggshells. I, myself, have no problem stepping right on them.

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'Real Housewives of Atlanta' Star Kenya Moore Shares First Photo From Wedding Day

Kenya Moore has finally found "true love."

The 46-year-old Real Housewives of Atlanta star, who tied the knot last weekend, shared the first official photo from her wedding day on Instagram on Friday.

EXCLUSIVE: Kenya Moore Opens Up About Boyfriend's 'Unacceptable' Behavior and Their 'Turbulent' Relationship

Moore gave fans a peek at her wedding gown in the matrimonial snap, where she and her groom can be seen holding hands on the beach.

"A good man is hard to find but true love is even harder. I found both,” she wrote with the hashtags ​"#truelove​,"​"#happiness​"​ and ​"​#crazyinlove.​"​

NEWS: 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' Star Kenya Moore Receives Temporary Restraining Order Against Ex Matt Jordan

The couple tied the knot in front of family and friends during an intimate beach ceremony in St. Lucia. Moore's new hubby is a businessman that she had reportedly been dating for several months, although she’s keeping his name under wraps.

"I'm just ecstatic," Moore told People after the ceremony. "This man is the love of my life and I'm so happy to begin our lives together as husband and wife."

Now that she's married, a baby could be the next big announcement for the first-time bride.

Last year, Moore opened up to ET about her fertility struggles, which she previously chronicled on RHOA.

"You have to be on a schedule, and you have to be tested at a very specific time," the former beauty queen explained of documenting the in vitro fertilization process on camera. "And it just never worked out while I was filming, and so I just decided to do it while I'm not [filming], and we'll see."

See more below.