#hater hours i love hating sometimes...

[fairycosmos]

is it just me or does anyone else hate celebrity halloween costumes? they're always so polished and perfect. they just spend their $$$ on a team of stylists and makeup artists to loo exactly like a pop culture person/character. imo the fun of halloween is piecing scrappy costumes together with clothes/accessories you can easily get your hands on. not that i expect them to not spend their millions on a perfect costume but i hate how it's become a spectacle where everyone praises their costumes

they r kinda boring not gonna lie........it's like you have all of these resources and you dont look scary or cool you look like IDK a sexy ghost or whatever and like..........sometimes they serve but even then it's less impressive bc it's like Obviously you'd be able to serve..........im being a hater but i agree there is a level of tackiness and fun to halloween that celeb instagram pics seem to intrinsically lack just by being celeb instagram pics. teehee. like i dont care about a kardashian in a latex cat suit i care about the people wearing fake blood and funny masks trick or treating in the street being stupid. lol

[laurrelise]

once again rambling about five and lila because i’m fucking pissed. enjoy

“five and lila were perfect for each other because they had so much in common” yet so many perfect couples have absolutely nothing in common???

they could relate to each other in ways that made them hate each other and that’s why they were SUCH good foil characters, i don’t understand why the romance had to be necessary.

there is absolutely no reason that this romance plotline should’ve been created. it was so ridiculously off-focus from what the plot was (AND should have been) and it literally only made the season so much worse.

do writers understand that not every single character has to fall in love with one another? i mean genuinely?

personally i don’t believe five is aro (though he could be ace) because i can’t help but love five’s love for delores (even if she wasn’t real) but i completely understand five aroace truthers because he truly can be independent romantically as we saw in the show.

i cannot wrap my fucking head around the fact that the writers saw two awesome, dynamic, badass characters with arcs and goals outside of love and attention and decided to turn their personalities inside out and upside down for a dumbass dead-end romance that makes zero sense.

five and lila were the only two people on god’s green earth who could understand each other and hated the other for it. why couldn’t they just be frenemies and call it a day?

god fucking damn it i’m so upset

shoutout to 13 year old 58 year old five hating lila and 29 year old lila despising the fuck out of little five !!! <3

fuck you to the worst, most nonsensical couple of all time and space ❌❌

[leronboi]

I love talking shit about Belle. It's so fun and frustrating.

[taniushka12]

You know its gonna be a tough time when you look at fics of a fandom and the first three ships on ao3 are 1. One you dont care about 2. One you passively dislike/hate and 3. One you Actively Hate. And 50% of the fics of the ships you Do like fucking suck

[thewispsings]

personal assistant | lando norris

pairing: lando norris x assistant!reader

summary: the one where lando norris is dating his assistant.

liked by user1, user2, and 124,730 others!

f1updates: y/n and lando have arrived for the media day at the british gp. y/n arrived about an hour earlier then lando. both arriving in style!

view comments below!

user3: oh she looks so good

user4: IKRRRR THAT DRESS?? HOLY

user5: sometimes i forget y/n went to fashion school until she shows up in these AMAZING outfits and im like YUP! she knows what she's doing

user6: i see y/n dressed lando today...

user7: ofc she did! when lando shows up in something other then team gear then we have y/n to thank

user8: she did such a good job!! he looks so good🤭

user9: why does y/n always arrive earlier 😕 i want to see them walk in together

user10: she's said the thought of arriving late makes her extremely anxious so she rather just arrive earlier then everyone else 😭

user11: i get her. she is me. i am her. we are one.

user12: y/n dating someone who loves to sleep in while she's the complete opposite is so?? 😭

user13: yns so pretty

user14: i wish i was y/n. or lando. idk i just want to be famous

user15: does anyone know where he shoes are from??

user15: guys pls??

user15: A LOT OF YOU ARW LIKING THIS BUT NOT RESPONDING

user15: JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCKING SHOES ARE FROM

user15: I HATE YOU ALL

liked by user16, user17, and 62,739 others!

ynandlandoupdates: y/n and lando taking photos with fans after practice today!

view comments below!

user16: is she wearing landos jacket🥹

user17: yea!! there's a video going around of him giving it to her. it was truly adorable

user18: i was there! y/n was so nice and was handing out umbrellas, she was super shocked when people asked her for a photo 😭

user19: pls tell me someone gave her a bracelet or something???

user18: the guy next to me handed her a bracelet with landos name 😭she said she'll never take it off and got super flustered

user20: you guys don't understand how much i love y/n, like handing out umbrellas??? she's for the people!!

user21: people who hate on y/n must be sore losers because how are you going to hate on that beautiful AND KIND woman??

user22: lando with the backwards hat??

user23: what is it with f1 drivers and backwards hats?? max, lando, charles, carlos they always look SO GOOD

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen, and 635,915 others!

landonorris: pre-race date!🧡

view comments belown

user24: race week dates are back!! 🤭🤭

user25: ahhhh so cute

danielricciardo: cute ig.

landonorris: jealousy is a disease, get better soon😝

maxverstappen1: remind y/n that we agreed on playing mario cart at 11 pm tonight.

maxverstappen: please.

user26: lando and max this lando and y/n that. WHAT ABOUT Y/N AND MAX?? ARE YOU SEEING THIS ☺️☺️ so cute

landonorris: she has been reminded!

maxverstappen1: thank you

user27: do you think max is sitting by his tv waiting for y/n to join?

user28: oh he totally is

user29: she looks so good??

user30: she literally belongs on vogue, holy

oscarpiastri: bring me back that fancy ice cream

landonorris: no!

yoursername: lando 😡 wait by your room oscar we'll be there in a bit!

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, oscarpiastri, and 392,947 others!

yourusername: post race date!

view comments below!

user31: lando was so disappointed until y/n came up to him, hope all you y/n haters who think she's not good for him see this and throw up

user32: y/n posting literally NOTHING except date night pictures is truly so cute and funny at the same time

user33: that dress 😍

landonorris: beautiful girl 🥰🥰

maxverstappen1: simp 🫵

maxverstappen1: by the wayyy can y/n play mario cart tonight?

landonorris: yes she can🙄

maxverstappen1: great! ill be waiting

user34: max going from hating to wanting to play with y/n is tooo funny

user35: yns whole aesthetic is so cute

user36: oh to be y/n going on a date night with lando norris after the british gp

user37: y/n and lando running away after the race to go on a date is the cutest thing

user38: SHES GETTING THAT DICK EVERYDAY SHES GETTING THE DICK EVERYDAY SHES GETTING THAT DICK EVERYDAY 😣😣

user39: THAT SHOULD BE MEEE

user40: who do you guys think take these photos?@/maxverstappen1@/oscarpiastri @/ danielricciardo???? who is it 🤨

danielricciardo: i refuse to third wheel.

maxverstappen1: they never like my photos 😕

oscarpiastri: …it's me 🥲

. . .

notes: I'm so sorry if this sucked?? there's like no plot but i wanted to get a lando fic out so here's this!

[alonetimelover]

So High School - part 2

read part 1 ------》 here

pairing: tennis player!reader x Lando Norris

fc: Iga Świątek

summary: Lando keeps pursuing his attempts at scoring a date with THE YN YSN - to the enjoyment of his on-track besties. But nobody has better days on social media than his haters. And sometimes being passive is not an option - you need to silence them.

warnings: internet hate

F1 masterlist taglist

🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎

f1

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo, yourinstagram and 2 001 292 others

f1 Padel, tennis or maybe carting? Which of these sports are the best and worst to try for our drivers - Lando, Max, Fernando and Daniel, and our special guest at the British Grand Prix - YN YSN? Stay tuned and watch what they all were up to right before the Grand Prix start on Sunday!

view all 23 100 comments

ynsmybestie YN YNYNYNYN YSN

ynsmybestie she is finally AT THE RACE

landogirly yn's going to be lando's lucky charm or he's going to be so stressed it's all over

landonorris best challenge ever

⤷ oscarpiastri are you saying that because of what I think orr??

⤷ landonorris shhhh Osco

⤷ oscarpiastri you're very ungrateful to the person that gave you the place in this challenge

⤷ landonorris LOVE YOU OSCAR

danielricciardo how did we lose playing 4 against 1????

⤷ maxverstappen1 Because you couldn't stop talking!

⤷ fernandoalo_official We played against world No. 1. Maybe that's why. Oh, and landonorris couldn't stop tripping over his feet

⤷ landonorris thank you, my racing father. you embarrass me like my own father

fernandoalo_official Great playing and speaking with you, yourinstagram!

⤷ yourinstagram the pleasure was mine!!!! thank you for all the tips during the race 🧡

⤷ fernandoalo_official Any time! I hope you'll enjoy your time during the race and will come say hello!

ynsmymama not yn only responding to nando's comment

⤷ landogirly lando can do everything and he's still ignored

⤷ norizzfan well, let's have hope he can step up his game

comment liked by landonorris and 4022 others

⤷ ynsmyno1 not lando liking norrrizfan comment 💀

landofan77 not Oscar giving up this challenge so Lando could have a chance with yn

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f1gossippage

liked by landogirly, ynsmybestie and 40 292 others

f1gossippage A little story thanks to our followers from UK!

1st picture: Lando meeting some fans right before entering one of the London's restaurants (very chic and date-like outfit).

2nd picture: a fan caught Lando and some woman entering the photo booth together and stayed to take this photo! Looking rather cozy!

3rd picture: IG story from YN YSN deleted mere 2 minutes after posting! The outfit awfully similar to the one wore by Lando 😏

4th picture: Lando during today's stream "I just came back from the dinner, guys. let's chat" "yes, the date was amazing, thank you for asking!" "I've never said I was at the date. what do you mean?" "Oh no."

Could that mean something? New wag alert? Let's keep watching!

view all 1 088 comments

landogirly I mean it checks out but I can't believe that lando could get THE YN YSN... like let's be real

landogirly BYT if it's true... THE BEST COUPLE IN THE PADDOCK

ynsmybestie one time yn posts something not related to tennis and it gets deleted... and it's also A MAN 🤢

ynsmymama let it be true let it be true let it be true

landofan92 no way

landofan99 he did not bag a baddie like yn, no way

formula1fan93 yeah, no. that did not happened

ynysnfan833 ewwwwww get that away from me

ynysnfan911 really? an f1 driver? she could do much better

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mclaren

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 1 003 292 others

mclaren Our newest addition to the papaya family has arrived!!!! YN YSN (yourinstagram) - WTA No. 1 player has joined Lando and Oscar for their Silverstone fanzone hour! Tune in to our YouTube channel to follow it live!

view all 10 392 comments

landogirly look at lando being all smiley and giggly and blushy 🤭 he has the fattest crush on yn

landosarmyohmy PROTECT THEM AT ALL COST

ynsmybestie not yn saying "well, my favourite driver was and always will be Sebastian Vettel. Fernando is a close second" and then not wanting to say her third favourite!!!!

⤷ landogirly i bet she wanted to say lando (im delusional)

ynsmymama lando saying, "i don't care what people say about me as long as they're not bringing other people down with it. what you want to say about me - say it. and at the same time, you can be respectful about it, can't you?"

landofan99 BEST FANZONE IVE EVER ATTENDED

landoscarfan77 the more I see them interact the more I think there's something going on between them

⤷ ynsmybestie they do have some chemistry going on

⤷ landofan99 wasn't it confirmed that yn went on a date with lando?

⤷ ynsmybestie well... most likely, it was true, but there are no pictures of them together being at the same place

landofan729 LOOK. AT. THEM.

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ynupdates

liked by ynsmybestie, landogirly, danielricciardo and 8 393 others

ynupdates YN congratulating Lando Norris (F1 driver) for his podium finish at the Britidh Grand Prix! photo posted by Lando's father!

view all 638 comments

landogirly AHAHFIRKDNXJIWKSKD

landogirly fuck offfff

landogirly look at himmmm, crinkles by the eyes, hand placement, the JOY IN HIS EYES

ynsmybestie yn once again fulfilling the dreams of her fans

ynsmymama I wasn't on this really but... I SHIP IT

landoscarmyohmy but the video, THE VIDEO, how she just falls into his arms (as if she did that multiple times already), he's little "oh, hi" when she places her head on his chest, her quiet "congratulations, you did so good" and OSCAR in the background grinning like a devil

⤷ ynsmybestie was it also posted by lando's dad????

⤷ landoscarmyohmy yes, it was! he is the captain of this ship!

hater93 another one to put on the list of "seeing an f1 race to just find a driver dumb enough to go out with me"

hater993 why would I care man

hater839 lowlifes found each other

⤷ danielricciardo didn't know you met YN and Lando yourself

⤷ oscarpiastri oh yes, lowlifes of the best tennis player in the World right now and the guy who won an F1 race and is competing for a championship. such lowlifes

ynsmymama Daniel and Oscar backing Lando, THATS FREAKING RIGHT, THESE ARE MY DRIVERS

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landogirly

liked by ynsmybestie, ynsmymama and 7 493 others

landogirly LANDO AND HIS PARENTS ARE AT YN'S MATCH AT WIMBLEDON!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is happening my loves. IT. IS. HAPPENING.

view all 349 comments

ynupdates lucky charm?

ynsmymama please bring mother luck, please bring mother luck, please bring mother luck

landofan75 that man will be everywhere but at the sim room practicing his starts

landoscarmyohmy meeting the parents???????

⤷ ynsmybestie yn met lando's parents at the silverstone race!

landofan588 he looks so gooooooood *drooling*

landofan686 watched it and his dad smirking at lando after every time that lan cheered for yn!!!!!!!! that was everything to me. e v e r y t h i n g

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Twitch: Lando and Max talking and playing COD!

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yourinstagram

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton and 810 292 others

yourinstagram trophies, cars, some love and nature

view all 18 494 comments

ynsmymama A MAN????????

ynsmymama a love letter

ynsmybestie she won wimbledon, she has A MAN, she is happy, she is in love, SHE IS EVERYTHING HE'S JUST KEN

landogirly no fuckin way no fuckin way no fuckin way

landogirly HOW DID IT HAPPEN?????

landogirly also not you trying to soft launch when we all know who that man is

norizzlan lando norris wrotes love letters??????? who is this man

landoscarfan85 WTF

danielricciardo i didn't know you loved OUR picture this much

⤷ yourinstagram how could I not? ;)

oscarpiastri happy to see my stickers being used properly

lewishamilton watching you win more and more titles is truly inspiring! you are the force, YN!

⤷ yourinstagram thank you, seven-time world champion, record-breaking driver and my favourite dog dad!

⤷ lewishamilton waiting for you to break more records! roscoe is waiting for more belly rubs!

fernandoalo_official come to the race when i'm on the podium, princesa!

⤷ yourinstagram i'll blow max's tyres and we're good

⤷ maxverstappen1 hey! i thought we were friends

landonorris keeping cuddles for noir!

⤷ yourinstagram snacks are better to bribe him

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f1gossippage

liked by landofan85 and 20 393 others

f1gossippage Lando Norris seems to be enjoying his free weekend accompanied by his new beau - YN YSN!

view all 1 074 comments

landogirly fucking disgusting to take pics while people are having such a PRIVATE moment

ynsmymama "new beau" google YN and call her accordingly to her accomplishments

ynsmybestie creepy to post these type of pictures

landoscarfan85 not a moment without a camera pointing right at them.... disgusting

landofan854 wine, dine & shine

landofan664 can't get used to lando being all lovey dovey

hater85 waiting for her to flop just like him

hater92 focus on your job

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landonorris

liked by yourinstagram, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 1 001 399 others

landonorris new beau, focusing on my job and looking for a better man

view all 24 430 comments

landogirly HAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHHAH

landogirly that's the biggest "fuck you" to the haters that i've ever seen

ynsmymama oh i love him, your honour

norizzlan someone found his rizz and used it perfectly

landoscarmyohmy using haters favourite words to make your relationship public? ICONIC

ynsmybestie loved the soft launch for the first 8 pictures and then BOOM - the queen's here

danielricciardo no problem for taking those photos, no problem!

⤷ landonorris what photos?

⤷ yourinstagram tickets for the Olympics matches are waiting for you, danny

⤷ danielricciardo you are my best friend

oscarpiastri YOU'RE WELCOME

lewishamilton treat her right

⤷ landonorris 🫡

fernandoalo_official yourinstagram, will i see you more on the track?

⤷ landonorris apparently we don't have time to visit each other at our jobs so....

⤷ yourinstagram i sent you tickets for my next match

carlossainz55 5th picture is your bedroom

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should I add more drama to this or just leave it here?

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taglist: @daniellef89x | @raikiri-sensei | @sleutherclaw | @iambored24601 | @chocolatefuryface | @alexmarie29 | @addriaenne | @ecac53 | @poppyflower-22 | @herdetectivetheorist | @imboredway2much | @hard4ndsoft | @ziraelmtd | @firelily-mimi | @eiffel-hood | @littlegrapejuice | @czennieszn

[slasherscream]

i would love to know which of the crazy ass boys gang would indulge a partner who watches reality tv? whose getting just as invested and angry and who is standing to the side saying it’s dumb and fake? (i know it’s kevin)

❥ who grins and bares it so they can bond with you ❥

Billy Loomis - This is just a bonding activity for Billy. It’s not awful. Nor is it the most fun thing in the world. It’s just one of those tiny moments that relationships are built off. The small bids for connection that build intimacy. You don’t bitch when he wants to watch Psycho for the sixth time in two months. He doesn’t bitch when you turn on trashy TV. He pulls you close, so that you’re sitting in his lap, or laid up against him, and pays enough attention to ask you the odd question or two to clarify what’s going on if he gets lost. What do you mean they switch couples?? When did they start doing that? Last week… oh I bet Luca was pissed. 

David Mccall - David is obnoxious because he pretends to be the type who is upset when you watch without him. He’ll come home, glance at the TV and gasp dramatically: Baby! Why are you watching our show without me?! How far along are you? You watched an entire episode? You know better than that, baby! You gotta rewind it, hold on, I’ll order us some pizza. Can’t believe you’d watch behind my back! This is a ridiculous pantomime that you may or may not pick up on. Mileage varies as always. David couldn’t care less about the reality TV shows you watch. But he likes the way you giggle as you rewind it for him. Or the way you light up when you’re discussing it with him. You used to spend way too much time talking with your friends about this stupid crap. Now you talk to him. Who gives a shit about whatever mindless little thing you’re watching. What David enjoys is your undivided attention. 

Jason Dean/JD - JD also sees this as a bonding activity and bid for connection… However, JD is a born hater. He bonds by talking shit. He’s not necessarily trying to be a bummer about the things you enjoy. He’s just a certified yapper when it comes to shit-talking. If he thinks something is stupid he just can’t sit in silence. This is his most underdeveloped life skill. He’s got ten minutes of quiet in him max. If he does manage to bite his tongue his face gives him away anyways. So what was the point? Will say something pretentious like: “Why are we watching people play out a badly scripted version of their lives through a screen when we could be out living ours, right now? Let’s hop on my bike and just ride, darling! Live a little!” Sir, I just worked an eight hour shift. I need to see someone who doesn’t deserve a rose get sent home in tears. Read the room. Get a grip. 

❥ who is pissed off/devastated when you watch it without them ❥

Sebastian Valmont - What can he say? Sebastian likes to watch people experience psychological torment. He’s trying to turn on the first seasons of “America’s Next Top Model" and watch a girl get sent home in tears after the judges convinced her to shave her head bald to look more fierce.This is the type of quality reality TV that makes Sebastian laugh. Watching people go through their darkest moments in front of a camera that highlights the creases in their cheap makeup is how he likes to spend the occasional date night. You had to put him onto reality tv shows, but now he’s hooked. He probably watches more reality TV than you do. If we’re being honest. You think this might be how he gets to still live out his glory days of being an unrepentant asshole. Sometimes he sighs a little too wistfully when someone is being a monster. 

Jordan Li - Jordan enjoys anything you do together. Even if they hate a particular activity, at least they’re spending time with you. Still, there are reality TV shows that Jordan really likes, such as: home improvement shows, “Say Yes to the Dress'', “Face Off”, “American Ninja Warrior”, and “RuPaul's Drag Race”. And then there are shows that Jordan puts on a brave face about. Things like “Love Island” and “Jersey Shore”. Jordan gets queasy just scrolling past them. There was a time before they became one of Brink’s favorites that their parents kept pushing them to try and be an entertainment Supe. No one is taking you that seriously, anyways! Maybe you’ll do better in the reality TV circuit. It’s unlikely Jordan will ever get stuck in projects like that now. They’ve proven they can be a heavy hitter. Proven that they’re strong enough to not need to sell themselves as cheap, easily-digestible, entertainment. Still, they don’t like thinking of the alternate world where they’re having to sit in front of a camera and do twenty retakes of “authentic” confessional room venting.

Stu Macher - He likes reality TV and doesn’t care who knows. Hooray! A shared interest… except watching these shows with him will piss you the fuck off. He has dog-shit opinions about everything. You will never be rooting for the same people. You will never agree on who handled a situation better. He’s always rooting for the asshole, it seems. You don’t even think he’s doing it to be contrary or to make you mad. He’s genuinely on their side (most of the time… he does enjoy making you mad.) Watching reality TV with Stu makes you want to kill him. It also makes you look at him funny. Why are you always siding with the bastards? You don’t think Ekin-Su needed to apologize? Stu, are you out of your fucking mind?

Josh Washington - You’re gonna try to tell me that the twins weren’t making him paint toenails while they pulled all nighters of “The Bachelor”? Sure, okay, if you’d like to believe that. And his inner circle consists of Emily and Jess? Please. He’s been watching trashy TV for years. He’s watched a little of everything. He is so well acquainted with the dark underbelly of reality TV that it would roll over for a tummy rub from him. It knows his scent. He can easily keep track of the names, faces, and plots. Who’s fucking who. Who hates who. Who’s forming secret alliances. You’ll probably be more lost than Josh ever gets. He’s a day one. He’s an OG. 

❥ who is pissed off to even be hearing about it second-hand ❥

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - He has better shit to do than watch reality TV show crap all day, and so do you. These are the kinds of harsh words that will be waiting for you if you try and get him to watch anything fun with you. Ask him one too many times and, like a parent who is annoyed that you are bothering him, he will begin to fill up any moment of free time the two of you have with activities. No, babe, we can’t watch “90 Day Fiance.” Why? Because we’ve got to run the marathon for kids with cancer and then we’ve got dinner with the mayor after that. You two are gonna be booked and busy. You were obviously bored. Now you won’t have time to even think!

Kevin Khatchadourian - Please don’t remind him so blatantly of his own intellectual superiority over you (he’s an asshole.) He gets the ick of the century when you try and tell him what happened during one of your little…programs. If you have the audacity to take it a step further and ask him to watch with you? He’s rendered speechless. Since when is this relationship a safe space? He doesn’t enjoy well-written, heart-stopping, incredible genre-defining movies and television. And yet, somehow, you’re so delusional you think he’s gonna sit through reality television with you? Don’t piss him off. He doesn’t even bother responding. Enjoy the view of his back as he walks away!

❥ secret fourth worse thing ❥

Nathan Prescott - Nathan is once again in a category of his own, which you might call: too nosy to not get into it, but doesn't want you to know he enjoys it. He made fun of you when you first started to watch reality TV. He can’t go back on his word now. If you were cuddling on the couch he’d have his face turned into your stomach and dramatically roll his eyes at your absentminded head rubbing. Could we focus on what’s important please? But then the plots started thickening and the heated exchanges started to pique his interest. He knew he was cooked when he started recognizing names, who was booed up with who�� wait that disloyal prick hooked up with who this week?! He tells you to just replay the episode because you’re explaining it shitty and you obviously want him to watch it and talk to you about it. It isn’t for his benefit at all. Turn the subtitles on, god dammit.

A/N: this was really fun! how did you know i've been watching reality TV shows lately?? if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writers fuel is engagement. xoxoxo

[flor4de4amor]

may we please PLEASE PLEASE please get more aviator!abby???? she’s so yummy & i need her so bad..

welll if you wannttttt ofcccc!! this is totallyyy not based off of today’s events. if only i had abby around </3

click for palestine | don’t buy tlou | read b4 engaging

the toilet is broken and it's been ruining your fucking day. the stupid handle is too loose and you're determined to fix it yourself. it's far too embarrassing to ask the other wives on base to use their toilet. word spreads far too fast. everyone's gonna think abby doesn't care for you. and that is far from true! she cares about you so much, you think you're gonna suffocate in her love.

which is part of the reason you wanna fix this stupid waste of space in your bathroom. abby takes care of you everyday, and she works hard and long all day. it wouldn't be fair for her to come home to a broken toilet. (sometimes she sits there doing buisness, while playing wordle, and keeping conversation with you as you shower. you'd hate to break routine.) but you've been knelt over twisting screws, fiddling with pliers, and banging your head against the wall for the past few hours. for a matter of fact, youtube is not helpful! in fact, when abby gets home, you're informing her of a the anderson housewide youtube ban. stupid fucking site. waste of space on the web. killed away at your day with useless hacks anyway.

you're so caught up on cursing at the tablet, your cat pawing at your toes, the stupid fucking toilet, and don't forget swearing the wind, that you don't hear abby's heavy footsteps. you normally greet her at the door with plenty of love. whenever you're not waiting for her, it normally means trouble. means that she better make your stiff couch, real comfortable tonight. and no, she cannot steal any souvenirs from your normally shared bed. she must make do with some throw pillows and a teensy tiny blanket.

you think that you've almost got the issue sorted out when she catches you redhanded. her arms snake around your waist from behind causing you to drop your tools and squeal. your cat screeching at the commotion. abby clicks her tongue at the grey streaked animal. bane of her existence. you thrash in her arms for a minute, until she kisses your cheeks and you're able to inhale her scent. "relax pretty, it's just me."

you huff, and turn around facing her sweet face. "you're an asshole." you don't mean it. but, she's just made you almost shit your pants while your toilet is totally broken. fair reaction, if you may say so yourself.

"you don't mean that," she smiles. her thumb goes to wipe sweat off your forehead. "what's going on here that you're wielding serious machinery?" she eyes the discarded plier and screwdriver.

you slide up to the sink, settling your spine against the cool faucet. your cat following in suite, jumping up into your lap, effortlessly. you coax, him, in your laps, scratching behind his ears, while speaking to your wife. "toilet's fucking broken." you groan, "i've spent all day trying to fix it." abby eyes the loud video playing in the counter of the bathroom corner. she goes to shut off the tablet, sensing your agitation.

"why didn't you call me? or a plumber?" her hands rub your thighs gently, trying to soothe you.

"despite what the haters say," you laugh softly to yourself, "i can do things."

she looks you up and down with a look of doubt in her eye, "i know you can." she plants a sweet kiss on your lips to reassure you before planting the real stuff. she pulls away stroking your cheek, "just not this type of stuff."

you roll your eyes and scoff. "ok well, a girl can try."

she smiles, "yeah lets, not anymore." she smiles and leans away slightly, eyeing the damage you've done to the commode. you pinch her bicep for her sly comment. she grunt in a pained response. her hands grip your wrist, not too tight, she'd never hurt you. "listen here girly," she threatens emptily, before releasing your wrist. her fingers tickle at your sides with carefree joy.

"is it fixable?" you ask. you feel awful.

that cocky smile of hers finds its way to her dopey face. "for the average joe? meh," she shrugs her shoulders. "for me?" she boasts, "definitely fixable, pretty. don't worry." she plants another kiss on you. when she pulls away, abby wipes her hands on the sides of her uniform khakis. she kneels to the base of the toilet, and assess the damage closer. "i think i found the problem baby."

"what is it?" you stroke the feline in your lap.

"you've been using all the wrong tools hon," she remarks offhanded while digging around blindly for her toolbar that's got her initials monogrammed onto the front.

"you're a tool," you say under your breathe.

"heard that!" abby says from down below. she chuckles softly, but doesn't let you hear.

"love you baby!" you reply back, a smile fixed to your lips.

"suck it, anderson," she grunts back while tightening a bolt or something. whatever the hell she was doing down there.

"maybe later," you laugh sweetly.

"sounds good to me," abby replies rather quick.

"shut up and fix the toilet anderson!" you say in a fit of giggles.

"yes ma'am," your cornball of a wife replies, while making a complicated task look easy. she's impossible to hate, and so easy to love.

[thenickgirl]

BSF!Nick HeadCanons

nick x fem!reader

disclaimer: this is all fictional, and based on my own conclusions.

warnings: kinda long, very very self-indulgent, pure fluff, swearing.

Nick as your best friend:

⚤ he loves to spend time with you, always asking you to come over and keep him company.

⚤ the two of you are so close and so comfortable with each other that you tell each other everything, the good, bad, and the ugly.

⚤ he’s protective, not overly, but you always know that you’re safe with him. he’s not letting any hate get to you, and if it does he’s always there to comfort you. he doesn’t hesitate to put haters in their place when it comes to you, not caring about any backlash it could cause him.

⚤ you both send tik toks and instagram reels back and forth all day long.

⚤ you share locations with each other, and anytime he checks and sees that you’re somewhere he doesn’t recognize he’s calling you immediately:

“bitch! where the fuck are you???”

“nick, are you fr checking my location again?”

“yes, now take your fast ass home”

⚤ when you’re sick, he’ll come over and help take care of you. attempting (failing) to make you soup, but then decides to just order in from panera. he’ll cuddle up with you while you watch movies or some reality tv show.

⚤ he’s always teasing and making fun of you, you both playfully argue so much that people on the outside think you actually hate each other.

⚤ you’re on the phone with each other for literal hours, whether it’s texting, on a call, or on FaceTime.

⚤ if you’re in college, he’ll make sure you stay on top of your studies. he’ll never let you put off schoolwork just to go hang out with him:

“nick come onnn, i can study when i get back, it’s fine i promise”

“un uhh, nope! you’re not gonna blame me when your ass fails”

“but ni-“

“GO STUDY Y/N”

⚤ he loves when you go shopping or thrifting together. he’ll pick out outfits for you to try, and you do the same for him. the both of you hyping each other up when you come out of the dressing rooms.

“yesss girl, you look so amazing in that dress!”

“says you, i love that shirt on you, it’s definitely your color!”

⚤ he’s a big foodie, and so are you. so breakfast and/or lunch dates are a staple in your friendship. he loves going to your favorite restaurant or cafe to just sit and talk about whatever and whoever. sometimes you like to try out new places and add them to your list.

⚤ he’ll send you flowers or candy on valentine’s day because he’s such a sweetheart, and never wants you to feel alone or unloved.

⚤ he’s always gassing you. he never hesitates to call you pretty or gorgeous, saying how much he loves your outfit, your hair, or your new bag. he’s your number one hype man for sure. you of course, are the same way with him never passing up an opportunity to let him know he’s so handsome and the baddest bitch.

⚤ you’re pretty much the ceo of the nick defense team, always on go when it comes to people being disrespectful towards him.

⚤ he’s basically your personal photographer. he loves taking your pictures for you, and you love to brag about his skills. he loves when you take pictures together as well, adding them to his photo dumps, giving very much bff goals.

⚤ since he doesn’t drive he loves riding with you, he even bought a “passenger princess” sticker to put on your glovebox just for shits and giggles. sometimes you guys would just spend the day riding out, blasting music and singing along, snacking on the random goodies you pick up along the way, just simply enjoying each others company.

“bitches be quick but i’m quicker”

“bitches be thick but i’m thicker”

*both*

“SHE COULD BE RICH BUT IM RICHER!”

⚤ if you’re in a relationship or get into one, he’ll be very protective over you, yet respectful of your relationship. he’ll make friends with them, and try his best to get along for the sake of your friendship. he’ll even plan group outings so you all can hang out together and get to know each other.

⚤ however, the second you call him in the night crying, he’s ubering over to your house to comfort you. he’ll hug you and wipe your tears, reassuring you that you deserve so much better than them.

“you’re amazing and i love you so much, y/n. you didn’t deserve that, and if you want, we can go egg their car right now”

“you get the eggs, i’ll start the car”

“BET!”

⚤ he doesn’t believe in fighting with friends. any arguments between the two of you wouldn’t last very long, you’ll always end up talking things out and laughing about it later.

⚤ he loves to include in the videos, especially any challenges they do like the baking videos. you always get front seat if you’re ever in the car videos, and he makes sure you get to speak.

⚤ he absolutely loves the bond you have with his brothers, and you would tease him about liking one of them solely to get on his nerves:

“matt has been looking really good lately..”

“y/n i swear to god…”

“what?? i’m just being real”

“i’ll actually kill you both”

“bitch, shutttt up! you love me too much”

“you’re right. now stop talking about matt before i throw the fuck up”

⚤ if the stars happen to align where you and one of his brothers fall in love and actually get together, he’ll be so annoyed at first, not willing to share you. eventually he’ll be okay with it, just happy that you both are happy, as long as you keep the pda out of his line of sight.

⚤ he fucking loves your cooking. he knows better than get in your way by trying to help so he’ll sit at the table and watch you. you don’t mind his company at all while you’re cooking, even letting him taste test which he never refuses. he’s constantly calling or texting to see what’s on your menu:

“please please PLEASE tell me you’re cooking tonight. i cannot eat in n out again”

“well, i guess i am now”

⚤ you always have him, matt, and chris over on Sunday’s. you love giving them the ultimate sunday dinner experience. you make sure you cook more than enough so they have some to take home as well.

⚤ any time one of you sees those cute and fun best friend date activities on tik tok or instagram, you’re instantly texting it to one another, making plans to try it out.

⚤ when you take him out to the club or a just night out with the girlies, he’s having the time of his life. he’s hyping you up while you’re dancing and throwing it in a circle. he’ll capture every second to show to you later cause you’re so gone you won’t remember a thing. the next day he’s asking you to teach him how to twerk like that for the next outing.

⚤ since you have similar music taste, you love going to concerts and festivals together. all in coachella with your matching crop tops and boots, turning heads left and right. you two are literally glued to the hip the whole weekend, holding hands and jumping around, dancing to the beat just loving the experience.

⚤ he absolutely loves sleepovers, and he’ll always be the one to suggest them. he’ll have a space for you in his closet and at his sink because of how often you stay over.

“bro is there a reason you called me 15 times??”

“uh is this the body scrub that you use? i’m gonna get it for my bathroom so you don’t have to keep bringing yours every time”

“nick, you really could’ve just tex-“

“YES OR NO??!”

⚤ whenever you sleep over, you always do your nighttime and morning skin routines together. ‘faerie soirée’ playing softly on the portable speaker while you go through your skincare steps, singing along, and swaying your hips to the beat.

⚤ he is obsessed with the different ways you style your hair. his jaw drops every time you pull up with something new. he was completely gobsmacked when you showed up with a 30 inch bust down after just rocking your natural fro, then two weeks later in some knotless braids down to your knees. he’s always asking your opinion on his next hair color, but you beg him to keep his natural hair for a while longer.

⚤ he always waits to get his nails done with you so you both can match. in the days before your appointments with analysse, he’s sending you different ideas he sees on pinterest for you both to choose from only to ultimately decide to just let analysse freestyle.

⚤ when it comes to his brand, space camp, he’s always giving you the sneak peeks. he’ll let you be the first one to try the newest flavor because he trusts your judgment, and knows that you’ll always be honest with him:

“okay, what about this one? did you like it?”

“friend, i ain’t gone hold you…that shit nasty as fuck”

“well damn bitch, tell me how you really feel. okay, we’ll scrap that one”

⚤ he loves when you come to boston with him to visit his family. mary lou and jimmy absolutely adore you, and so does all his hometown friends nate, mckayla, and chloe.

⚤ the snap streaks between you two go crazy. you’re both constantly snapping each other the most random shit.

⚤ he’s always telling you about the guys he’s crushing on or talking to. he’ll ask you if you think they’re cute or not, and wants advice on what to say to them. if they send him nudes, better believe he’s immediately sending them to you for you both to talk (or laugh) about:

“girl you won’t believe what he just sent me”

“ouuu how big is it?”

“bitch, i’ve seen baby carrots bigger than that”

“BLOCKED!”

⚤ on halloween, you guys love to find matching costumes (when he’s not matching with matt and chris) and sometimes the four of you would find costumes to match together.

⚤ on your birthday, don’t be surprised to find yourself plastered all over his story. he’s posting a photo dump of you together with a lil paragraph, going on and on about how amazing his best friend is. you’ll have gifts galore from him, matt, and chris.

⚤ he’s super supportive of whatever you do, helping you in any way you can to achieve whatever it is you need to.

⚤ he’s the perfect best friend and he takes the bond that you have very seriously, never letting anyone or anything jeopardize it.

🏷️: @muwapsturniolo @mattslolita @guccifrog @luverboychris @freshloveforthefit @matty-bear @sturniolossss @imsosillygoofylol @nickgetsmewetter @mybelovednick @moonk1ss3d @ghostking4m @certifiednatelover @meg-sturniolo

[konigsblog]

Hi! This is my first time asking something :D 

Do you do anything, not nsfw? And if so, what would some random könig headcanons you agree with? Like habits and stuff you’d think he’d do? (does that make sense lmao)

If you just do nsfw you could make them nsfw headcanons.. Or just combine both aha

**HII.. i do write for sfw and fluff, as well as angst it's just not really requested as much as smut :) but here, hope you enjoy this!!! 🌙

silly könig headcannons

⭒ mentions of weed use, fluff.. 🌷🎀

⭒könig who prefers cats over dogs. they're quieter and calmer, has a ginger cat called ‘spice’ that's fiesty to new people. he loves the animal to death, and hands it to his oma when he's on deployment.

⭒i've mentioned this before, but i feel like könig was in a band as a kid, just a school one. he played the drums and was pretty emo in his teenager years...

⭒he sleeps in the weirdest positions. he'll either wake up with his body contorted into different ways, his arms above his head and across his chest with his legs intertwined with eachother.

⭒he's an easily jealous person, always top of his classes and getting 100% on his tests. his mother always wanted the best outcome for her son, so she was shocked when he decided to join the kommando spezialkräfte instead of becoming a doctor or a lawyer.

⭒has 100% attempted to get up but fell because his legs were stuck and tangled in his bedsheets.

⭒gets second hand embarrassment far too easily. he's cringing on the inside when someone does/says something stupid.

⭒absolutely hates the summer. it's horrible; everybody's sweaty and stinks, missions make him want to peal his skin off. definitely prefers autumn/winter.

⭒his favourite food to eat whilst sick is soup, a special homemade soup him and his mother made together while growing up. her own special recipe that he only teaches to his closest of friends.

⭒loves late night conversations. they're so deep and understanding, chatting for hours 'til your jaw hurts and the sun his peaking through the curtains.

⭒either drinks black coffee, really bitter. or drinks the most sugary coffee ever, no in-between. (tell me your opinions)

⭒is a morning person. gets up early and has his breakfast, something quick and easy, like toast or porridge (oatmeal), has a morning shower 'nd everything. (i love adding salt to my porridge/oatmeal)

⭒hates when people say germany and austria are the same. will definitely have a whole rant about the differences 'til you understand fully.

⭒smokes weed a lot, pretty much an addict. he says it's to calm his nerves down but he gradually started doing it more and more often. a stoner fs.

⭒enjoys movies, a lot. he loves sitting down with a blanket beside him, covered in orange cat hair. will probably make a bowl of popcorn to eat whilst watching, but ends up eating it all before he's even 30 minutes in.

big, bear hugs. we all know that the big, brute and towering man gives amazing hugs, but he really wants to lay atop of you, to cage you with his warmth.

⭒has a tendency to over share, rants sometimes while pretending to be confident, finding anything to talk about before feeling a bit uncomfortable with what he'd said.

⭒isn't shy. it's my biggest pet peeve when people make könig out to be someone shy, scared, ect.. he's not shy, he's socially anxious, but that doesn't make him quiet. he either puts on a front and pretends to be confident with a cocky, loud personality.

⭒absolutely adores milk. he drinks like a gallon in two days, that's why he's 6’10.

⭒enjoys mint chocolate chip ice cream, hates strawberry, especially if they have chunks. (self projecting)

⭒enjoys doing the dishes, finds it satisfying. until he touches food and gags.

⭒avid banana hater, the texture to the taste, everything about it makes him feel ill.

⭒listens to music for hours, usually something rock or heavy metal, loud music in his ears and the loud explosions gives him some hearing damage.

⭒usually smells woodsy, fresh cut trees and vanilla.

⭒germaphobe. doesn't like being near people when they're sick and will avoid them, probably because he gets sick too easily, despite having a strong immune system.

⭒isn't a very emotional person, he has sympathy for others but can't express it through tears and emotions. he's cold and aggressive to the recruits, blaming them for his issues because he struggles taking blame and fault for situations and needs a punching bag.

⭒owned a fish when he was around 7, cried because it died. turns out it was alive and he saw it swim down the toilet. never got another fish again, traumatized.

⭒doesn't like being told he's in the wrong, will refuse and deny it 'til he's forced to either apologise or end the friendship.

⭒curly ginger, or wavy ginger, you can't change my mind.

⭒doesn't really understand tiktok that much, or instagram. not really something that he's interested in, but occasionally uses twitter for like 5 minutes.

⭒has anemia, or iron deficiency. takes a couple naps a day because he doesn't like taking his supplements.

these are all i could think off 😵‍💫 tell me your personal headcannons!!

banner credit; @cafekitsune

[deathmetalunicorn1]

apollo, hades and hermes reacting to his fem s/o gets transformed into her younger self (around 12 lets say) and now grown so is just epitome of sweetheart and loving person but when she was younger, she was such a hater! like even maybe hate man because of unsaid stuff and just judging everyone around and them, with that “stink” face (i hope you know what face i am talking about lol), she gets back to normal after 2 weeks so how would they react to younger version of his s/o?

-(Love’s) eyelid could only twitch, staring down at his lover, you… well you from several years ago. You had somehow reverted to twelve years old, and you had no memory of him.

-He had called around, hearing that this had happened all over Valhalla, but the good news was that you would return to normal, like the others, after a few hours.

-(Love) smiled, coming back to where he had left you on the couch, scrolling through your phone, “You’ll be back to normal in just a few hours Y/N!”

-You rolled your eyes, your lip curling up for being interrupted as you scoffed, “Whatever.”

-Comical tears appeared in his eyes, he had no idea that you had been so…salty when you were younger. It didn’t fit as you were always just a sweet and gentle person; you would sometimes cry if someone would raise their voice at you, so to see you like this was… unusual.

-He just smiled, trying to be friendly and make the best of the situation, sitting beside you but giving you your space, as you made that very clear when he first found you like this, “Won’t you be happy to be back to your normal self?”

-You looked at him over the top of your phone, a slight glare on your face, “I’ll be happy to get away from you and your stupid haircut.”

-Apollo- The back of his hand lifted to his mouth, appalled by your words as he turned pure white in horror before he fell from the couch in slow motion, landing face down on the ground where he quickly was in tears. You weren’t bothered, putting your headphones on as you played your game. Apollo could only pray that you would change back soon- he wants his sweet Y/N back! When you returned to normal you weren’t allowed to leave his lap as he covered you in kisses, wanting you to be sweet like you always were.

-Hades- Ouch- okay that hurt, and he felt his eyelid twitching at your snark. He raised three brothers; this was going to be nothing!! Two hours later Hades was at the kitchen table, his head in his hands, two empty coffee cups before him. He didn’t know how your parents were able to deal with you as you broke him. He snuggled you extra hard when you returned to normal, taking out his aggression on you in the form of cuddles.

-Hermes- Had turned to stone, completely shocked that you were so salty and mean. He just thought you were scared, that’s why you were so distant from him, but to hear you insult him, being mean- his brain short circuited. Hermes was very pouty that evening, hugging you from behind while you cooked dinner, now back to normal and you smiled warmly, “You’re awfully affectionate tonight.” He didn’t respond, hugging you tighter, glad to have you back to normal.

[braxlrose]

I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

[sirianasims]

Chapter 43.6

My mother taught me that sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours, and you’re soaked through and miserable and it feels like it may never stop. But no matter how heavily the rain falls, no matter how drenched you get, you are not the rain.

Some day you will be dry again.

Things have been easier since I blocked Paul, the pain slowly fading to a dull ache, barely noticeable as long as I don’t dig too deep. I try to keep myself distracted, reading Lucky Girl for what must be the fifth time. It’s my comfort read, Evie reminds me a little of myself. I think we could have been friends, hanging out and agreeing that being in love is the absolute worst, actually, while we yearn for our respective idiots.

The memory of Paul is not the only thing I’m trying to escape. With all my channels inactive, even the haters have gone quiet and my views are dropping every week. I’ve toyed with the idea of simply abandoning everything and starting a new brand, but I don’t want to rebuild my follower count from scratch. I don’t have time for it. My bills are starting to pile up, and while I can still pay them for now, it won’t be long before I have to either crawl back to mom and dad and ask for help, or get one of those real jobs people keep talking about. I’m not even sure which option I would hate the most, so I hide in my book for now.

A sharp knock on the door jerks me away from Evie admiring Jude in an art gallery and back to reality.

I hesitate for a moment. I have no idea who it could be, and I don’t want to see anyone, especially not some smarmy salesperson – or worse, my landlord. With a sigh, I put my book face down on the armrest and shuffle to the door.

Miranda is leaning casually against the doorway, her high heels making her look almost as tall as Samara. At their feet, a couple of large shopping bags are threatening to fall over and spill their contents on my doormat.

“See, Samara? I told you she was still alive.”

“So you did. Then I sure hope she has a very good excuse for refusing to see her best friends for almost two months!“

I feel my cheeks get hot. “Uh, hi. I’m sorry I disappeared, I’ve just had a rough time since, you know. But I promise to call you, maybe we can make plans soon?”

“No need, we’re here now, so you won’t have to worry about that.” Samara’s smile is cheerful, but her tone is resolute. Even so, I try to object.

“Seriously, it’s not a good time, I haven’t even showered for like three days, and the place is a mess.”

“Girl, since when do we care about mess? We’re here because we love you – stinky or not.” She wrinkles her nose, making the freckles on her face dance.

“What is this, some sort of intervention?”

Miranda smirks. “Pretty much. Sorry, but someone’s gotta save you from yourself, and we’re not letting you waste any more time moping over a man who didn’t deserve you. We’ve got snacks and a box of rosé with your name on it, so you might as well get out of the way.”

“Fiiine, but no judging the absolute state of the place.” I roll my eyes and invite them in with a dramatic flourish of my arm, but I can’t help but smile. Samara bounces through the door despite the heavy shopping bags, and Miranda goes straight for my laptop.

“What’s your login?”

“It’s just my birthday, and before you come for me, yes, I know that’s bad.”

Miranda shakes her head as the laptop plays a jaunty tune and lets her in.

“You’ll get the full security lecture another day, right now it’s time to declare inbox bankruptcy. We’re getting rid of all this bullshit so you can get back to business.”

“Miranda, there are literally thousands of messages. It’ll take days to go through, maybe weeks.”

She doesn’t even look up, her perfectly manicured fingers a blur over the keyboard.

“Give me an hour. I’m going to delete anything that contains profanity, and then I’ll sort the rest into folders, so don’t worry, you won’t be losing anything permanently. But I’m going to mark everything as read and archive it so you can get a fresh start. If anyone wants something important from you, they’ll reach out again, trust me.”

I stop myself from protesting further. Miranda knows what she’s doing, and it really would be a relief not to worry about everything.

Behind me, Samara has stopped unpacking the groceries.

“Just let Miranda work her magic and get your smelly butt into a bath. And make it a nice one, soak for a bit and pretend you’re a mermaid or something. We’ll get everything set up in here while you scrub off the sadness.”

I feel a slight pang of embarrassment as I walk into the bathroom. The sunlight is creating little islands of warmth on the black tiles, but it also mercilessly illuminates the limescale in the shower and a couple of cotton swabs that missed the bin. The sink is decorated with a few dried clumps of toothpaste, each of them outlined in red from last time I dyed my hair.

How did I let it get this bad?

I turn on the taps and leave them running while I undress. Then, I lower myself awkwardly into the tub and let the water cascade through my fingers. It would be nice if it was this easy, washing away the sadness and frustration, the longing and the hurt.

The gentle sound of flowing water is mesmerising, and before I know it, the tub is full. I add a small handful of bath salts and swirl it around. A soothing scent of lavender rises with the steam.

When I lie down, the hot water envelops me like a hug. It feels like it’s thawing something in me that I didn’t even know was frozen. I close my eyes and listen to Samara and Miranda laughing about something. It’s almost like being home and hearing my parents talk softly in the other room. It always made me feel safe. Less alone.

As the water begins to cool, I scrub down, slowly, methodically, running soapy hands along every inch of my body. It feels good, like I’m massaging life back into my limbs. Tonight will be fun, I decide. We’re going to stuff our faces with junk food, get absolutely smashed on cheap wine, and pretend that my heart was never broken by some has-been actor from Tartosa.

I watch as the tub empties, imagining that all my sadness is flowing down the drain with the water and the tiny undissolved purple specks from the bath salt. Finally, I move to the shower to wash my hair and rinse off.

When I get out, I stop and examine myself in the mirror. I look a little tired and worn, like I’ve been sick. In a way, I guess I have. But the black tiles are radiating warmth under my feet and there are birds singing outside my window and I’m beginning to feel like everything is going to be fine.

Samara’s blue face glitters in the candlelight. The packaging from the masks we’ve applied is littered with adjectives like “rejuvenating” and “revitalising”, bold statements, but they do actually feel pretty good.

“Sorry, Julia, I know you love this crap, but I just can’t get over the cake tongue. Who decided cake would be the best bait for people? Are we really that obsessed with desserts?”

I look over my nails one last time and put down the file. “I’m actually more disturbed by the whole chin udder situation. I mean, who came up with that?”

Samara makes a disgusted face, but she’s not ready to change the subject. “Seriously though, even if you were absolutely starving and cake was your favourite thing in the whole world, would you really approach a plant shaped like a giant cow head with huge teeth? Really? And then try to grab what is obviously its tongue?”

Miranda giggles tipsily. “No, but can we talk about how Ned’s relationship with the cow plant is super toxic, though? I mean, it always starts out slow, right? Oh, so it eats meat, little bit of a red flag there, but it’s probably fine. And before you know it, you find yourself luring your neighbours to their deaths just to keep it happy.”

“Yeah, it’s classic, the way he keeps making excuses for her? She didn’t mean it, she’s just misunderstood! She only bites me because she loves me! I’m like, Ned, your girlfriend is eating people, you need professional help.”

Samara laughs. “I guess some men would literally rather feed their neighbours to a plant than go to therapy.”

My phone vibrates on the armrest behind me.

“Sorry, it’s Marten again, I better let him know I’ve got company. He’s been super busy with his exams so we haven’t had much time to play lately.”

Miranda raises an eyebrow.

“And he’s still fine just being your friend, is he?”

“Why wouldn’t he be? I mean, he was fine being my friend even though I was dating Paul. Besides, I haven’t even seen him in person since GeekCon, it’s been almost a year…”

I stop. Almost a year since I met Paul. It feels like a lifetime ago. I wonder what would have happened if I’d cosplayed as someone else, or if Paul hadn’t been there that day. Maybe I could have been dating Marten instead of having my heart trampled by some fickle celebrity. Nice, normal Marten with his mousy hair and his robot facts. I smile.

“Anyway, there’s nothing between me and Marten. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

Miranda sends me a mischievous grin. “That reminds me, you know that hot bartender from The Rooftop? Super flirty, cheekbones that could cut glass?”

“The one who gave us free refills on Samara’s birthday? Shane or something?”

“Yeah, him! He asked about you last time, wondered why you hadn’t come with us for like three weeks in a row.”

“How does he even know my name?”

“He didn’t, he just asked about our red-haired friend but you’ve clearly made an impression.” Miranda winks. “Maybe he’d be willing to help you get over Paul.”

I shake my head. “No thanks, I’m pretty sure he’s slept with like half the regulars. And I’m not looking for hook-ups, not now. I need to get my so-called career back on track, but I want to do something… different.”

I think of Paul, of late nights in hotel rooms, laughing at the most ridiculous b-movies before having amazing sex and falling asleep with his arms around me. “I don’t want to do cosplay again, absolutely nothing with movies or comics or superheroes.”

Miranda looks thoughtful. “What about just fashion stuff? I started out with just my shoe reviews and now it’s more general style advice and outfits to match your heels, but you have an eye for it and you know a lot about cuts and materials and design.”

“I guess? I don’t really know a lot about classic fashion, though, like couture and such. And it’s a really tough business to get into, plus I’d kinda like to keep the expenses down for now.”

“You could always just jump on one of the big trends. I bet you’d make bank as one of those clean girl aesthetic influencers or something.”

“That’s actually a good idea. I mean, I can probably get pretty far with just the makeup and clothes I already have. And I could move my sewing machine and rearrange the room, set up my camera and the lights…”

Miranda laughs. “We can start right now as long as it means we don’t have to watch any more terrible movies tonight.”

I reach for the remote. “Not a chance.”

beginning / previous / next

[trashhole]

Finished tfe s2 b1 last night and honestly liked the last three episodes quite a bit. I think the only ones I feel meh about are the first three. They weren’t the best thing ever but this batch definitely introduced some interesting things I wouldn’t have expected.

Spoilers below!

Contrary to the majority of the tfe fandom at the moment, I personally love evil scary murderer starscream. I think him murdering two babies is a pretty starscream thing to do. He was scary and I liked it.

I’m of the belief you can’t have a redemption arc unless you actually do something bad too so I’m pretty happy with where we’re at with starscream. Especially with his taking care of himself line because, he IS taking care of himself. He’s securing his protection and a new home for himself from his perspective. That’s pretty standard for a decepticon as they have colonized many planets. I still think it’s evil and fucked up but i like that it’s evil and fucked up with purpose. In his eyes he isn’t wrong or evil or unjustified, he’s taking care of himself.

Anyway that’s my opinion. I think this fandom has to many haters. That’s also my opinion. Honestly sometimes I think about blocking the tfe tag for a few hours because it’s upsetting to see so much hate for something I love just because other people are holding it to a standard it was never going to reach. But that’s just my opinion.

[canonically47]

social media headcanons for tdi gen 4 :3

nichelle: has instagram, twitter and tiktok. has a massive following which only slightly decreased after her hollywood fail. she posts pictures of herself and her friends on set or out in the city, and her story is always photos of herself with a song in the background or some important cause. she actually cares about those causes and boosts them as much as she can.

julia: has instagram, twitter and tiktok. tells people to kill themselves uncensored which has caused her to have her accounts banned so many times that she has lost every follower. somehow the super fans of total drama still found her current account and she is bathing in the attention she is receiving. whether it’s love or hate, she likes every comment, and insults haters.

bowie: has instagram, twitter and tiktok. he has a lot of followers due to being the first openly gay contestant, and also a lot of haters for that exact reason, whom he cusses out daily, and so do his fans. some argue he’s toxic; others may say he just doesn’t take anyone’s shit.

MK: has instagram, twitter, tiktok, reddit and tumblr. she uses anonymous or small accounts that never link back to her personally. nobody has found her accounts and it is driving them crazy. doxxes people.

zee: has instagram, tumblr and pinterest. he just posts pictures of himself or of nature that he’s taken. sometimes he gets on instagram live high out of his mind and rambles about the meaning of mankind’s existence for three hours, then it’s radio silence from him for months. he also likes a lot of posts that talk about how confusing gender is, which has led some fans to believe he may not be very cisgender. when asked “Hey Zee, sorry if this is too invasive but are you a boy or are you under the trans umbrella?”, he replied “idk i may be under the umbrella when it rains too hard haha”.

caleb: has instagram, twitter and tiktok. very active on social media and has a large following. he posts motivational gym videos and gets a lot of ‘sigma alpha males’ in his comments, which he deletes and blocks. he likes a lot of cute animal videos, especially cat ones. his most viral video is him with his four kittens and their baby mama.

ripper: has instagram and twitter. used to have reddit but deleted it after getting together with axel. he used to have a large following of mysoginistic boys but he’s deleted his accounts and created new ones to start fresh and try to he more mindful of what he posts. you could say axel has helped his mindset in a lot of ways.

axel: has instagram and twitter. posts pictures of her cats or of her and ripper. she follows some of the previous contestants, including duncan, leshawna, gwen, brick, jo, shawn and jasmine. also posts workout videos and has a lot of incels but also thirsty girls in her comments. people often harrass her or ripper upon finding out they are together because “he doesn’t deserve her” or “she can do better”.

chase: has youtube, instagram, twitter and reddit. fucking insufferable. follows every previous total drama contestant. obnoxious content. lots of hate. videos are made on him and they are not good. hope he dies.

emma: doesn’t have social media; took a break from it and deleted all her accounts after chase’s incel following found her and harrassed her because she left him.

priya: doesn’t have social media. she just watches training videos on youtube.

millie: doesn’t have social media because “it greatly affects her generation” and she is “better than that”.

damien: doesn’t have social media and is chronically offline. nichelle once asked him what he thinks about some tiktok drama and he asked, genuinely confused, what tiktok is. begs people at school to tell him what ‘rizz’, ‘sigma’ and all other slang means, rarely gets an answer and, when he does, it just confuses him more.

scary girl: doesn’t have social media accounts. she uses socials to stalk people, though. if anyone challenges her she appears in their nightmares that night. chase has made a video on her being some demon. even his haters agreed with him.

wayne: has instagram. posts pictures and videos about hockey or including him and his friends. his pfp is him and raj at one of their games. he replies to almost every fan that has found his account.

raj: has instagram. his private account deeply saddens and annoys his fans. he posts the same things wayne posts and puts a lot of pride stuff on his story.

[circuscountdowns]

Hello! I’ve sent messages before (such as asking about the bishops’ fate much later in the timeline) but this is my first time asking something off of anonymous!

During the 1000 years or so they lived as mortals, did your lamb and the bishops eventually consider each other friends?* Playing Knucklebones together makes me guess “yes”, but well

Your comment about the lamb slowly waiting for them to request natural deaths made me curious

*In what I assume is a complicated sort of way for obvious reasons

oh yes I loved that ask! I thought about it the whole time i was working on that comic! (And to answer that second half oops) Aym and Baal got whatever Forneus got going on that keeps her alive, and traveled overseas after their explorations of the land of Old Faith. After that contact was lost, and Lamb and Narinder were never really sure what happened to them. They Empty Nest Narinder’s ass in a whole new way asdfghjkl he’d never have to grieve their death really just their departure (if they ever do die idk I’ll leave that open. Makes me sad to think of kitties dying :( skdjsksj)

Friends is a fun word. I think the idea of friends implies choice, and for the Lamb there really was no choice. Complete in-laws situations. The bishops are more than just ex-gods they wish to punish, they’re their catboy’s siblings. And though for a while Narinder tried to cold-shoulder the Bishops, that’s still he family and the cult is only so big. At one point you cross paths on the way to the outhouse yknow. Does the Lamb feel a kinship with these last few people to experience Godhood? Yes. Do they see themself a lot in Shamura and hate them with every fiber of their being? Yes. Are they going to make sure their injury is treated seriously and they get whatever they need? Yes. Are they a little sad when the day comes they ask for death? Sad for Narinder’s sake.

At the very least they were all comfortable together and it brought entertainment. With how long the bishops have been alive, they bring a lot of funny stories to the table.

Heket to the day she dies remains Lamb Hater #1. They may have introduced her to her wife (who IS actually friends with the Lamb. Go figure), but she can hold a grudge like no ones business. It is on sight insult the moment Lamb’s in the room. But also if the knucklebones tournament taking too long, she’s taking the lamb’s bed for herself everyone else get da floor.

leshy has chronic youngest brother disease and it works on the lamb begrudgingly. As long as he stays funny, he can probably get away with a lot. Kallamar is just content to be alive and will push at Lamb’s patience as far as it can go. Shamura sometimes forgets why they should hate the lamb and sees only the thing that makes Narinder happy.

leshy dies once on a mission and it is to the lamb’s delight when the bishops look at them with clenched fists and a blasphemous (to the Old Faith’s beliefs) demand on the tip of their tongues.

this is longer than it needed to be I just love complicated dynamics. I can talk about it for hours. Thanks for the asks!!! <3