#i like to live dangerously and so do not edit forgive me any mistakes

[lilyoffandoms]

Guinevere Drabble - Lancelot x Guinevere

For @choicesmonthlychallenge To Be or Not To Be event (Trust Me). I’m sorry I take all your prompts from this and use them in the opposite way 😬

Warnings & A/N: Nothing I can think of that ain’t canon. Teen (? if I’m to try and rate it? maybe?) Lately I’m on a mission to extend some of the scenes PB teased us with. So this is from that late night watch scene. <900

He watches her chest rise and fall with the steady breaths of sleep. The firelight caresses her face in ways he longs to and he tries not to let his mind wander to places he can't go. To dreams that must remain just that, to feelings he can’t - no - won’t allow himself to have.

He takes out his sword, resting it across his lap as he sits before the fire in the dead of night. He looks it over and checks the edge of the blade. It is a poor distraction. In fact, the very real distraction lies not two feet from him and it is all too real what she makes him feel.

But he has a duty that he cannot fail in.

He looks up at the stars dancing across the sky overhead as the first rays of sunlight begin to erase their memory and starts naming the constellations and he wonders smiles as he recalls the way they had shone in her eyes at the start of his watch.

He sighs and sheaths his sword. Focus, he scolds himself.

He closes his eyes and listens to the night sounds around him. An owl hooting in the distance, a coyote howling and the responses of the pack that follow, her soft sigh as she shift slightly in her sleep.

He groans and rubs his face. I have a duty, he reminds himself.

He begins counting the frogs he hears croaking in the moonlight in the pond they stopped beside for the night.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

He finds himself looking at her again and it’s her breaths he is counting.

He has a duty and yet, he is amazed at how easily he could forget it all for her. He’s amazed at how easily he already has forgotten such for her. It’s not right. It’s not right at all. He cannot fail in his duty. He will not.

Her hair is splashed across her bedroll, her lips quirked a small smile, her face relaxed and peaceful in whatever dream she has found herself in. She is so close to his arm's reach, and he almost reaches for her, but he shakes that feeling from his mind and returns his hand to his side.

His eyes sag closed and he takes a shuddering breath.

He can never have what he longs to reach for.

Her breathing grows quicker and her brows begin to knit together. This is no longer a pleasant dream he realizes as a soft no escapes her lips.

He kneels in the dirt beside her bedroll before he even knows he has moved and he reaches out for the one dream he longs to call his own. The back of his fingers caress her face, turning as his thumb traces the corner of her lip, to cup her cheek.

“Shhh,” he murmurs softly.

Her eyes open, the fear and pain draining from them as she meets his eyes and leans into his touch.

The moment feels stolen with Arthur just across the campfire from them. It is stolen, his mind tells his heart and he stands and takes a step back to the seat he had left. He should apologize but he finds he cannot. He has stolen something precious and he finds he feels only joy for that stolen moment even if he failed in his duty.

She no longer looks sleepy as she sits up and stretches before standing and coming to sit beside him once again. She sits impossibly close to him and snuggles closer still. His mind screams at him to put distance between them but his duty fails him again.

He watches, mesmerized, as her hand rises and tucks a lock of hair behind his ears, her eyes tracing his face and then her hand is following the path her eyes have take. and he closes his eyes, breathing in only her.

He could forget all manner of things for her but duty. He has a sworn duty and with that his eyes snap back open and he shifts away from her.

Not as far as he should but far enough for him to gain some semblance of control back.

“Princess.”

He says the same word he always does, a plea to her, a vow to them, and a warning to himself.

“Sir Lancelot.”

She says the same words she always does, ones he has heard her whispering to him without the title in their bed upon waking in his dreams.

Duty, he reminds himself. He will not fail in his duty. He will not fail in this, he vows as he meets her eyes and smile again. She trusts him. Arthur trusts him. Trusts them.

Trust me, he promises, I will not fail in this.

But this gorgeous person before him is impossible to ignore. He will not fail her or his friend. Whatever he must suffer he will not fail her. He watches her smile grow and sees a bit of something reckless and wild there. He knows that look, knows that feeling all too well, and he just prays she doesn’t command something of him that he would be all too willing to give.

——————————

All Choices Tag: @storyofmychoices @peonierose @aallotarenunelma

Also tagging @choicesficwriterscreations for Fic of the Week. Think I hit all the tag requirements 😬 you know I’m absolutely awful about that, sorry.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Remember me? (Part 11)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Summary: Under the Mountain, Y/n met the High Lord of the Night Court, Rhysand. She was scared of him, but soon she found out that he wasn't who he pretended to be. Despite her efforts at not falling in love with him, she fails. It's not that bad as he loves her back.

But now he's gone, and she's left alone with nothing.

Except for a very adorable reminder of him.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: secret pregnancy, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: honestly dedicated to @thehighladywrites because we love High Lord Eris in this house 😏😌🫶🏻

also, i feel like this timeline ca be confusing because i honestly dont know what im doing lol so just so you all are aware, this part is supposed to be based on the time just before feyre has fled the night court 😉

(Not edited as i am going to slee, sorry! ignore any mistakes ❣️)

•○🌑○•

The curtains were parted to let in a gentle autumn breeze which toyed with the ends of Y/n's hair, and she huffed gently when she felt someone watching her.

She finished adjusting the covers around the sleeping Fin, taking her time to smooth out the creases before she straightened, turning to find Eris leaning against the doorway, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes trained on the softly snoring boy on the bed.

And he was shirtless.

Y/n told herself it was not that big of a deal, that she had seen plenty of men naked, but seeing that pale expanse of skin covering those hard earned muscles, something shifted in her belly.

He glanced at her, blinking when she stepped forward. He straightened when Y/n continued walking forward, and his arms fell at his sides when she passed by him.

Her brows furrowed as she glanced at him and found a blush covering his face.

"Eris? Are you alright? Is your magic malfunctioning or something?"

He shook his head, still standing in the doorway. She paused to turn an watch him.

"You look a little red, you know. Are you sure you don't have a fever?"

He shook his head again, glancing back at Fin once before he inclined his head towards the corridor leading away from the boy's room.

To say Y/n was concerned and confused would be an understatement.

Eris closed the door to Fin's room gently, then grasped Y/n's hand, hesitantly, tugging her towards a large window nearby.

Y/n whirled towards him the moment he stopped walking. "Eris? What is going on?"

He didn't say anything, simply pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket of the pants that hung dangerously low on his hips.

Y/n's frustrations finally got the best of her. "Are we playing charades, Eris? Or did someone cut off your tongue?"

He sighed. "I did not want to be the bearer of bad news, but I guess I still am as I brought you the letter. It's from Feyre. Forgive me for reading it, but it was open when it fell onto my desk."

Y/n's heart slowed down in fright. It... It could also be something good, right? It didn't have to be about her leaving Rhysand. It could be about him getting better and apologizing...

Y/n knew how stupid it was, really, to hope for that.

And even if that hope had really come true, Feyre was responsible enough to not send the letter practically in the middle of the night.

Y/n opened the folded piece of paper, her eyes moving frantically as she read it and searched for words that would soothe her worries.

It was all in vain.

Y/n, I can't live here anymore. I will soon be winnowing to autumn with Nyx. I hope you don't mind.

Y/n suppressed the rage that reared its head in her chest, taking a deep breath as her eyes rose to meet Eris's.

His eyes held the same sadness she felt and was sure were displayed in her own eyes.

"I have weakened the wards enough for both of them to come through without any harm coming to them, and have already ordered the servants to prepare quarters for them to live in. You don't have to worry about much."

Grateful, Y/n moved without realising what she was doing. One moment, she was standing facing him, the cool autumn air curling around her, and the next, she was surrounded by warmth, her face buried in his shoulder, her arms thrown around her neck. He stiffened, but moments later, he relaxed with a heavy sigh, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Thank you." She mumbled onto his welcoming skin, tightening her hold, knowing she shouldn't.

She felt him nod, and she pulled back to glance at him.

If there was any chance Y/n had been mistaken before about him blushing, she wasn't now.

He definitely was blushing, as red as the colour of the leaves in the court he ruled.

"It- it's nothing."

Despite the heavy news that they had received, Y/n felt her lips curl. "Are you blushing, Vanserra?"

He huffed. "Of course not. Why would I blush?"

"You know," Y/n began as se stopped leaning on him and straightened, though his hands tightened on her waist, as if unwilling to let go. Y/n chose to remain silent on the matter. "It is not nice to lie. Did your mother not teach you?"

He leaned his head closer, a smirk forming on his lips. "She might have, but she also focused more on how to treat the female you love the right way. Must've forgotten about the lying lessons."

Y/n blinked, her face going hot. But before she could say anything, she felt Eris stiffen under her arms. He pulled away instantly, tearing his hands through his hair.

"She's here."

Y/n nodded, her hands falling heavily to her sides.

"Let's go welcome them."

•○🌑○•

Part 12

Remember me Taglist: @holb32 @awoa1 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @luvmoo @we-were-beautiful @eerievixen @zoe2 @fussel9913 @j-pendragonx @thesnugglingduck @jesssicapaniagua @devilsnightz @esposadomd @littleffawn @mandowhatnow @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @princesslolaasworld @asemkta @cat-or-kitten @txzii @bunnyredgirl @theofficialmadman @leeknows-wife @aria-chikage @amygdtjhddzvb @azriels-mate123 @inky-clover @kemillyfreitas @12358 @justdreamstars @cuethedepession @princessvesta @fides25 @nocasdatsgay @acourtofbatboydreams @stained-glass-eyes0708 @glaciuswduo @wallacewillow0773638 @cassie6392 @quackitysdrugdealer @txzii @anuttellaa @coisas-da-dani @hnyclover @sassyslytherinshai @historygeekqueen

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

Eris taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter

[stardustprompts]

the city of brass  (  the daevabad trilogy book 1  )  -   s. a. chakraborty change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying     tw ;  death ,  violence ,  religion mention 

‘you do realize you just committed a crime, yes?’

‘you get more like the devil each day.’

‘you can’t please everyone.’

‘i’m trying to warn you.’

‘you have no experience with what happens to people like us during a war. people who are different. you should keep your head down.’

‘you sound eager to be rid of me.’

‘you’re playing with things you don’t understand.’

‘that’s very arrogant. blasphemous, even. only a fool would speak in such a way.’

‘there is power in names. it’s not something my people give out so freely.’

‘I am going to ask you some questions first. you will answer them. and honestly. you strike me as a liar.’

‘you strike me as a liar.’

‘I prefer to think of myself as a merchant of delicate tasks.’

‘that doesn’t make you any less a criminal.’

‘I do what I need to survive.’

‘earn this. save yourself. live to fight again.’

‘forget it. I don’t know why I bothered to ask.’

‘do you have any idea how dangerous that was?’

‘your company is not … entirely displeasing.’

‘i’ll cut your throat in your sleep if you’re lying.’

‘it’s not haunted.’

‘do you have to creep up on me like some sort of assassin?’

‘you betrayed us, the very people your family was meant to protect.’

‘you think it matters how you kill me? a hundred more will rise in my place.’

‘you will suffer … in this world and the next.’

‘i’m simply capable of seeing both sides of an issue. It’s a skill you should try to develop.’

‘there is something very wrong with you.’

‘you’re just going to abandon me?’

‘is that what this is all about then? you’re ashamed of me?’

‘you didn’t grow up in my world. you can’t understand.’

‘you’re so arrogant you can’t even apologize properly.’

‘I could not bear it if something happened to you. I would never forgive myself.’

‘finally. I was starting to fear you drowned.’

‘are you afraid? are you trembling?’

‘you can’t trust anything they say. all they do is deceive and manipulate. they will say anything to trick you. to break you.’

‘I take it then that the rumors do not have you worried?’

‘you’re not even a good liar, do you know that?’

‘I suspect there are some good ideas hiding behind your propensity for rash, terrible decisions.’

‘what you’re suggesting … no man could survive it.’

‘nothing interesting ever happens around here.’

‘have i actually silenced you for once?’

‘knowing how your type feel about martyrdom, let me make this clear. it will not be you alone who suffers.’

‘I shouldn’t have said that. It was rude… and it’s hardly the first time I’ve been rude to you.’

‘are you afraid of me?’

‘it is said that when a man and woman are alone in a closed room, their third companion is the devil.’

‘I can teach you … I mean, if you want me to.’

‘I am not your enemy.’

‘I suppose I’m full of surprises.’

‘I am nothing like you. I would never do the things you did.’

‘I like to keep my options open.’

‘I look forward to being outmatched.’

‘I have a surprise for you.’

‘you���ve taken very quickly to ordering people around.’

‘have you completely lost your mind?’

‘you can’t trust him. I bet every other word out of his mouth is a lie meant to turn you towards their side.’

‘whatever happened in the past is just that: past.’

‘I feel as though it’s an illusion, like I’m one mistake from having it all stripped away.’

‘sometimes magic works best when there’s a little … emotion behind it.’

‘my curiosity is winning over my common sense.’

‘you won’t be able to continue like this. one of these days, you’re going to have to make a choice.’

‘you were my idea, you know. my hope.’

‘just because I shouldn’t have done it does mean … it doesn’t mean I didn’t want to.’

‘I never had anything like this … anything like you.’

‘do you think this is easy for me? do you think I enjoy imagining your life with another?’

‘it must be nice to have a family.’

‘you could, you know? have a family, I mean. here. with us.’

‘you trust too easily. you always have.’

‘you’re not supposed to be friends. you’re supposed to lead.’

‘I’ll have to invent some salacious story to amuse myself.’

‘you’re not terrible. you’re my friend.’

‘that’s cold. that’s a coldness I didn’t know you had in you.’

‘I try to dismiss them, you know, the things people say. I always have.’

‘I would stick a blade in my heart before I raised it to you—- I swear to god.’

‘please just tell me how to fix this. I’ll do anything.’

‘do you think I want your death on my conscience?’

‘I don’t need you to save me!’

‘I’m telling you: I’ll never forgive you if something happens to him—- and I’ll never forget what you did here tonight.’

‘it’s been a dark few months. my time with you… it was a light.’

‘I didn’t mean to do that, to hurt you, I swear!’

‘tell whatever truth you want. make it good. I’m done protecting you.’

‘I believe you. I mean, I don’t particularly care, but for what it’s worth, I do believe you.’

[rphelperblog]

Random Page YA Book Quote Rp Meme

Part one-I opened one of my 42 large moving boxes of books to a random page and wrote down the quote for Rp Meme- feel free to edit quotes or change pronoun or person

“knock knock! I just happened to have my ear pressed to this door. I might have overheard some things, and I have a suggestion!” 

“Libraries were full of ideas—perhaps the most dangerous and powerful of all weapons.”

“She was a pistol wrapped up in silk. She was a blade disguised as a girl.” 

“But how will we learn from our mistakes if we don't make any?

“Hope is the most dangerous thing you can give someone.”

“You don't go into battle because you're sure of victory. You go into battle because it's the right thing to do.”

“Silent acquiescence in the face of tyranny is no better than outright agreement.” 

“Truth be told, I liked that blurriness. That line where reality and fiction jutted up against each other.” 

“There’s not much to be afraid of when you’ve already lost everything that matters.”

“Let's have a toast. To the incompetence of our enemies.” 

“Instead of being afraid, I could become something to fear.” 

“I want everyone to meet you. You're my favorite person of all time.” 

“Sometimes things that appear very different on the surface are actually exactly the same at their core.”

“We find things, just as we lose things. If you’ve lost your honor, you’ll find it again.” 

“Hope is the most dangerous thing you can give someone.”

“Love is a drop in the ocean of what I feel for her. Love is a single sun in a heaven full of stars.” 

“I'll be your family now,"

“Girls hunger. And we’re taught, from the moment our brains can take it, that there isn’t enough food for us all.” 

“I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want.” 

“They trained me for this. It's their own fault. They helped make their own doom.” 

“It’s weird how we have to get a little older to realize that people are just people. It should be obvious, but it’s not.” 

“The right thing and the easy thing are never the same.” 

Because of me. Because I let fear make decisions for me. Because I’ve chosen to let the world push me around instead of pushing my way through the world.” 

“I am often told I defy expectations.” 

“All the time in the world is worth nothing if I don't get to spend it with you.” 

“...Because the voices in your head that say otherwise are just fear talking. Never listen to fear.” 

“Do not accept an evil you can change.” 

“How can a man be so handsome and annoying at the same time” 

“I don't know why it's so hard for people to admit that sometimes they're just assholes who screw up because they don't expect to get caught.” 

“Apparently she's got revenge on her mind, and it's really annoying when people try to talk at you while you're feeling murderish.” 

“Reasons we should get married:Because I love you.We both look good in black boots.I spent some time without you, and I didn’t like it.You make me happy.I make you laugh.I like the way you fight.You see through my masks.I really love you.You love me, too. “

“Do not cry for me, I am already dead."

“If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.”

“Why do we desire, above all other things, that which has the greatest power to destroy us?” 

“There are so many worse things than death. Not to be loved or not to be able to love: that is worse.” 

" I couldn't find you. And I will never forgive myself for that. Ever.” 

“Yeah, but broken isn't the same as unfixable.” 

“I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway.” 

“I mean, most people want to escape. Get out of their heads. Out of their lives. Stories are the easiest way to do that.” 

“Are you like the girls in the book too? Because I think I am.” 

“Many boys will bring you flowers. But someday you'll meet a boy who will learn your favorite flower, your favorite song, your favorite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.” 

“The people you love weren’t algebra: to be calculated, subtracted, or held at arm’s length across a decimal point.”

“We want to prove things, in life, more than we want to disprove them. We want to believe.” 

“Strange how applause was just noise, when you were all alone.

[ramblinseahorsey]

There’s so many people out there trying to give Greg’s parents the benefit of the doubt, saying they meant the best for him, or that Greg just didn’t do a good enough job explaining to them he was unhappy.  That Greg and Steven just need to talk to them, to reach out to them, and hope is a great thing.

But I knew the second I saw this shot that they didn’t love him. They didn’t answer his letters.  Never. Didn’t even read them.  Don’t try and tell me Greg didn’t try.  Don’t tell me he didn’t reach out.

Greg didn’t just say they just discouraged music or pushed him to do sports, this isn’t a Barbara kind of miscommunication.  He clearly said they forced him to do sports and music was off limits. He tried.  From the looks of it, he tried many years after he left too. 

Don’t try and tell me that parents that saw their kid constantly frowning or looking like they were gonna cry in their photos and did nothing about it loved their kid. 

The only picture we see Greg look happy in was his school photo.  Not the one they liked enough to frame.  It is possible there are happy pictures around here with him and his parents we just didn’t see, but I wouldn’t place any bets on it.

The only mistake Greg made in Mr. Universe was not being more tactful with how he explained all of this to Steven.

Greg never specified the lack of love, and therefore Steven just didn’t get it.  He saw all these pictures and trophies and baby items and thought, that’s love, right?  He doesn’t understand or know about the parents who obsess over nick knacks, doesn’t get that these weren’t treasured memories to them, they were collectibles.  Anybody who’d still keep the letters, but not open them, was clearly after the status of being parents, not the actual time with their kid.  They kept in view things from a time he was obedient.  But all Steven sees is the image of a pretty, normal family house, the image Greg’s parents were more obsessed with maintaining than communications with their actual kid.  

They wanted him in their life at first, sure, but only back when they still thought there was hope that he’s end up just like them.  Back when he would still go to the island, back when he couldn’t fight his hair getting cut, back when they thought he could be the cookie cutter clone of them that looked neat in family photos and would prevent them from having to explain to people what he did for a living or why he wasn’t going on vacation for them, yet again, using him as a part of their image, not their son.  

Greg wouldn’t have called all of that junk, when he’s been shown to love collecting and having random junk, failed to emotionally connect or get nostalgic about a single item there, if there had been any love or bonding attached to any of them. 

Greg is a loving, loving, forgiving man.  If there had been any good memories in that house, 

he wouldn’t have constantly looked miserable in it except when he was talking about when he escaped it.

Greg, unknowingly, and only trying to help, bless his heart, made a huge mistake with a single sentence.  

“Trust me, your better off than I was!”  OUch.

He pushed Steven away the second he made a comparison between their lives.  You just can’t play the comparison game with people who were traumatized. 

Was he right that Steven got to grow up with love Greg didn’t? Well, yes, but Steven doesn’t realize that.  All he hears is the man who grew up in a nice, warm, not corrupted gem attacked house, with a nice, normal, not training just in case someone was on their way to murder you education, in a calm, relaxed, not born a war criminal childhood.  And complaining about it!

Of course he got mad!! Even if Greg had specified he wasn’t loved, how could he dare use the word better to describe Steven’s life?  Greg meant nothing bad by it, but as far as Steven was concerned, Greg was telling him he had a wonderful childhood, a wonderful future ahead of him, “just like mom” did.

Greg couldn’t have just brought up a half alien baby wanted dead in a normal community, training with the gems, unstable parents or not, was necessary for his survival.  But in the heat of the moment, Steven doesn’t think of that, the way he talks in this scene, he really thinks he could’ve had that, that a normal childhood could’ve “fixed” him, and that his dad’s choice was the only thing that stopped him from having that.

And between that and the crash, that was the trigger needed for Steven to push his dad away.  The guilt for yet another person he thinks he’s a danger to, and the huge feelings of jealousy he was too ashamed yet still too angry to voice over his dad getting to grow up human.  Steven saw his yearbook pictures and nearly got choked up saying the words “more human” pausing with a frown he quickly gets rid of, yearning to be the human in Greg’s pictures.  

So many out here are trying to take sides, either saying Greg was wrong and Steven was right, or Greg was right and Steven was wrong, but in the end both are true.  Both had the right to be unhappy with what they were given, and both should have done a better job trying to understand and listen to the others plight. 

While Greg should have worded things much, much more tactfully, and definitely, even if accidentally, hurt his kid with his words, he meant no more harm than any of the other people who’ve tried to cheer him up, and was right about all he said.

Yet you can’t get mad at Steven either, because as far as he’s concerned, all he learned today is that his dad had it so much easier, less terrifying, and found an identity in a way that Steven couldn’t relate to, couldn’t use.

That his dad can’t help him anymore.

Edit:  I’m not saying redemption is impossible for his parents,(Steven Universe is all about second chances), I’m saying that I can’t see it happening.  If you wanna be technical about it, anyone can be redeemed.  But that’s the point isn’t it? Anyone can change, but they have to want to.  The only person I could see being less likely to want to change is Marty.  

While possibilities are endless, the people who can not love their own child while raising them don’t tend to be the kinds of people to have a turnaround.  Not saying it hasn’t happened before, just that it’s so very, very rare.

These two made it very clear they didn’t want to, that they don’t want to.  It would be different If the letters were opened.  For a redemption/family reunion to work with these two, they’d have to make the first step.  Perhaps they’d get wind of Steven’s existence, and in a change of heart that came in old age, they’d get motivated to try getting back in touch even though they thought at this point it was too late.  Perhaps we’d get a shot of opened letters falling down not neat and tidy on the dresser.  

For it to work for me, Greg would have to receive a letter.

But i’m not holding my breath.

[raineeskiesabove]

His Truth | Albedo x Sucrose HC & Oneshot (ish)

Using the hc that Albedo is a homunculus, but the nature of this creature ranges across works of fiction I’ve seen, so the rest is based on my own interpretations;;

These two may be brainy in their respective fields of study, but romance is an entirely new ballpark for both of them

They’re both complete dorks when it comes to “wooing” a special someone, and are too shy to admit their feelings. At least for Sucrose, anyway. Albedo’s feelings are a bit more complicated, as he questions whether or not his feelings are even real.

Albedo isn’t human. His feelings aren’t human. It wouldn’t be fair to let Sucrose grow so close to him. It would only be a matter of time before he would lose control, losing whatever “self” he had managed to develop over the years.

At first, Albedo treated Sucrose like everyone else- slightly distant, but with respect. However, over time, he grew fonder of the other alchemist, of her devotion to alchemy and her sweet personality. Over and over, he’d insist that she could drop the “Mister”, but she never seemed to listen. It was this pressure, of Sucrose respecting him so much, that made him all the more convinced that she shouldn’t grow close to him. The real him wasn’t who she thought he was.

“Sucrose, this is a busy time of research for the both of us. Please keep all conversations short and to the point,” he would begin to say, using a purposefully cold and icy tone.

“Y-yes of course, Mister Albedo!” Sucrose would always comply with his wishes, even if his words stung a little. But she had the tendency to ramble, and simply figured that perhaps he had grown tired of her constant questions, observations, and other such things.

For a while, Sucrose accepted Albedo’s new terms, only asking for his attention when she knew he had a job for her. No more questions about his work. No more asking for guidance. Perhaps, she thought, he was testing how well she could research on her own! She knew she was lying to herself, but Sucrose would do anything to reassure herself that Albedo didn’t truly dislike her.

One day, Sucrose left town alone to collect some samples out in the fields of Monstadt. She hadn’t told anyone where she had gone.

By this point, Albedo was mentally tearing himself apart from the inside out, realizing that he could not bear the burden to live like this. He knew that this hurt her. He could see it every time they passed in the hallway- instead of offering a shy wave, she simply looked away and continued walking. She never visited him in his lab anymore. She never asked questions, told him about the subjects she was most fond of.

But what was more concerning were the changes his body undergone since he had shut Sucrose out. At first it was barely noticeable: a hairline fracture, what seemingly appeared to be a crack, running down from the bottom point of the star on his neck. The crack led to nowhere, and didn’t chip upon his inspection, so he was forced to leave it be. As the days passed, more and more cracks began to appear, now stemming from all sides of the star marking. Soon, the cracks caused the outer layer of his skin to chip off, revealing an unnatural, gold interior beneath. These areas were extremely sensitive, like the star on his neck, making work very difficult to accomplish.

Albedo fell into a state of depression, now without care for whatever happened around him. He could barely sleep at night from how intense the markings felt, but resisted the urge to show anyone. Unlike himself, who eagerly devoured stories of the unknown, the other seeing him would frighten them.

He spent the following days mindlessly doodling Sucrose over and over again. He’d drawn her before, already memorizing each detail down to the strands of hair on her head. Thoughts of her ran through his mind almost obsessively, and he simply couldn’t understand why. He cannot love. It isn’t real. He is hardly real. He needed to let go of her, but any attempt to detach himself proved fruitless.

Only one event, after almost half of his skin had decayed, roused him from bed. A knock at his door.

“Albedo?” It was Jean. “Have you seen Sucrose? No one has seen her since yesterday, and we checked her lab. She isn’t anywhere in town, and I’m getting worried...”

Sucrose? But she never left the city unless it was to accompany him- oh.

He was such a fool.

Pulling up his hood, leaving his hair down, Albedo opened the door swiftly, saying nothing as he passed Jean in a hurry.

The only lead he had to go off of was her elemental traces, which were already fading due to it being a day since her disappearance. Not to mention that he had to move slowly, due to how sensitive every movement felt.

Half a day passed, and Albedo began to fear the worst when the trail led to the Thousand Winds Temple. So many, too many monsters dwelled within this area. It was much too dangerous for one to go alone, especially for Sucrose, who lacked a particularly reactionary element. And by now, a steady stream of rain had begun to fall around him.

Finally, he found her laying lifeless against the cold concrete, surrounded by a Ruin Guard that had seemingly lost interest in her.

If one emotion he never felt was love, the other was anger. Pure, white rage that blinded every other thought telling him to be rational. These feelings were simply overwhelming, his heart feeling like it would burst at any moment.

Defeating the Ruin Guard in a monstrous explosion of geo energy, he rushed to Sucrose’s side quickly, checking for a pulse.

Weak, but alive. Severely injured, but still breathing.

“Sucrose... Sucrose, can you hear me?” Even in a situation as dire as this, Albedo felt his voice come out calmly and even.

At first she thought that she was dreaming. She had convinced herself that she would die out here, that no one would come looking for her. Especially not the one sitting above her now. Her glasses had long been lost, but instantly she knew who it was. Even the act of breathing hurt, but the relief of seeing his face caused a smile to bloom on her lips, a laugh to escape her throat.

“Y-you came,” she whispered.

“Yes,” was all he could say before the tears escaped him, running down his face relentlessly, falling onto the girl below. His sobs were strangled and raw, echoing throughout the plaza they were in. A stream of “sorries” and “forgive mes” were mixed throughout his cries, Albedo’s chest heaving from the sudden burst of emotion. Never in his life had he cried. Never had he experienced the true feelings of sorrow and regret.

She lifted a hand to cup his cheek, perplexed by the gold plating of it, but more concerned with the distress he was in. Never had she seen her cool and collected teacher so vulnerable.

To both of their surprises, her touch did not cause him to recoil, nor did it sting him. But rather, as she held her hand in place, the gold began to fade, again growing encased within his usual skin color.

He held her hand against his cheek tightly, now desperately holding onto it. He had almost lost her, but he wasn’t going to make the same mistake a second time. In terms of his condition, he didn’t understand why he had begun to decay, nor did he understand why she could repair it. But she simply could, and that was enough for him to accept that he needed her.

She insisted to now sit up, which he initially declined to endorse, but her insistence was enough to make him back down in his vulnerable state. Sitting in silence, she broke it with a nervous giggle, noting how both of them weren’t having a very good day.

Through his tears, Albedo couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape him, his forehead falling against hers. The movement caused Sucrose to freeze, shocked by his sudden and uncharacteristically bold move. In her trance, she barely noticed that he had guided her hand to the star on his neck, her touch causing a faint glow to emanate from the marking. Through his clothes, the two could see the rest of his gold spots lit up, the glow fading as her touch closed the openings.

“Mi- ah... A-Albedo, I don’t understand. Are you alright? The unusual markings on the surface of your body looked uncomfortable. Why... why was my touch so effective in counteracting them?”

“That is... beyond the realm of my understanding, Sucrose. But, I seek the truth of this world, do I not?”

She nodded, but secretly wondered what that had to do with her question.

“A long time ago, my master gave me one final task: discover the truth of this world. Days grew into months, months into years, and I never found an answer that I could accept. I grew worried that I would never be able to unravel the mystery presented by my master. Logically, this is likely an incorrect answer, but the truth of this world, my truth of this world... For now, I would like to define it as the love that I hold for you. It is... a bit of a foolish answer, isn’t it?”

“...no. No, not at all,” she whispered, closing her golden eyes. A small smile graced her lips, a gentle breath escaping her nose as her shoulders relaxed.

Perhaps it was only seconds, maybe hours, that they stayed rooted in this spot. But there was still one thing they both knew for certain, regardless of the passage of time around them. In the middle of this damp, abandoned site lost to time, Albedo and Sucrose shared their first kiss.

Eww the formatting HAHA;; Ma’am it is 130am wtf am I doing. I am so sorry if the writing and concepts make no sense lmao I fell down this rabbit hole and it became a pseudo oneshot that probably needs a lot of editing I’m too lazy to do rn. Til next time homies <3

[pencilguin]

Under the Stars - Oneshot

Hello hello :D I'm Pencilguin and I'm new to Tumblr! I don't really know how to use this currently but I'm hoping to write some fanfics to stress-relieve from my other projects ;v;

I'm just not even gonna bother writing this onto word first and edit it since I'm super impatient so here's my attempt to writing a Xiao x Aether fanfic-

(Also like I've seen people posting warnings before everything but like,,, Is it necessary? Cuz like I'm kinda scared if I did something wrong but please correct me if I do make a mistake >< thanks)

Genshin Impact ship content, Xiao x Aether, Fanfic, NOT NSFW

The summer crickets could be heard singing the nighttime lullabies as the sound of rustling tree leaves accompanied the blows of the wind. In the distance, the lights of the bustling city started to dim down one by one as the people of Liyue started to pack up their stalls and return to their homes to get a good night's sleep.

From above, in the perspective of the stars, two figures were laid down onto the lightly yellow grass beside a crackling campfire.

It's rare to see Xiao sleeping so soundly.

Aether looked at Xiao's peaceful sleeping face before tucking himself beside him.

It's been a while since they last camped outside after receiving the Serenitea Pot from Madam Ping. For a week now, Aether had to camp outside in the wild like he used to (now that the interior of the Serenitea Pot is under construction) - but the good thing is, he was now able to "live" together with Xiao.

With multiple attempts of trying to convince Xiao to move in the teapot together, each time Aether fails miserably with the answer "no". Carrying the role of a Yaksha, he has promised to watch over the land of Liyue to ensure the safety of the people.

Perhaps it was Xiao's avoiding gaze, but it seems to Aether that he partly wished him to insist further.

Face to face, looking at Xiao's sleeping profile made Aether realize that even with such young features, Xiao might have never experienced anything that he should've when he was a child. After traveling for so long, Aether managed to store many stories of Teyvat, Xiao's history were also included. Many people who knew him suggested words of advice that he has done enough for the people of Liyue and that he should have a proper rest continued on and on...but it just seems like Xiao will never forgive himself if ever doing so. As of now, at this very moment, Aether was very glad that he managed to get Xiao asleep when he clearly stated that he will be on the lookout in case for any dangers and to let Aether rest by himself.

For a brief second, a fairly indecent thought went past Aether's mind.

Xiao looks...so vulnerable as of this very moment...

Aether slowly moved his hand and carefully cupped Xiao's cheeks between them, and inch by inch, the distance between the two slowly decreased until Aether could feel Xiao's quiet breaths were blowing across his cheeks.

Aether chuckled lightly at the sight and placed a peck on Xiao's nose tip, and Aether was silently surprised when Xiao started shuffling around in his sleep and somehow ended up back facing Aether, as if trying to avoid further kisses.

Looking at Xiao's sleeping response, Aether was so close to making a noise when laughing at the thought that Xiao looked like a kitten covering his head in his paws. With the sense of safety with Xiao by his side, Aether slowly started to dose off into the dream world with a hand being placed on Xiao's back.

On the other side, the face of the adeptus was so red that it seemed like it could explode any second.

This time, the reason why Xiao couldn't sleep can be blamed on Aether the next day.

[slyther-bi]

This took longer to write then expected. When it comes to writing I need to listen to music in order to write. It helps me invision what I plan to write. Sadly none of the songs I listened to helped me but eventually I came across a song I used to listen to and it helped me invision the prompt that @sevy-stuff-blog gave me. This one shot is on my Wattpad story "Harry Potter one shots" but I'm posting it on here so that @biggestsleepymoth can view as well as anyone else who doesn't follow me on Wattpad. The prompt was confusing but I hope this turned out okay and that you all enjoy it. (Edit: I fixed my spelling errors and added any forgotten words)

Guilt

Requested by @sevy-stuff-blog

Big thanks to @biggestsleepymoth for helping me out.

Some info: Luna helps comfort Snape who is feeling guilty about Dumbledore's plan

Severus Snape walked down the halls battered and bruised. He had just come back from a Death Eaters meeting and the Dark Lord was not pleased. He was furious and he always punished his followers when he was furious no matter who they were. Sad to say Severus was one of the unlucky ones tonight.

Severus hated this, he hated everything about it and wished he could get out of it. Sadly that wasn't an option, he promised to be a spy for the light side. Being a spy would help them win the war, atleast that's what Dumbledore told him.

Plus doing this helped ease his guilt about everything he's done, doing this may not excuse his actions but atleast it's a start. He let out a groan and dropped to his knees in pain. He was hit with the crucio curse more then he can count. The fact that he was still able to walk was a shock to both him and Dumbledore.

Dumbledore had given him a potion to help with the pain and suggested that he go straight to his quarters instead of going to see Madam Pomfrey. He had also been given two weeks off teaching in order to heal. Severus let out a few pained coughs and fell completely to the cold stone floor.

He wished he hadn't listen to Dumbledore and gone straight to the hospital wing but he was an idiot. 'Great now I'm gonna die here' he thought and began to cough again. A bit of blood came out as he coughed and his vision began to blur with tears. He didn't have to energy to keep himself from crying and allowed the tears to fall.

He deserved this, he did. He put the only person he ever cared about, along with her family, in danger for what? He did not know but he wished he could go back and change the past. Go back and keep himself from telling Voldemort about the prophecy or maybe go back and keep himself from joining.

Maybe then he wouldn't be in this mess. Laying here on the cold hard ground battered and bruised, coughing up blood, and in tears. 'My god I'm pathetic' he thought and made an attempt to get up. His body let out a jolt of pain not liking the idea of moving, Severus bit his tongue in order to keep himself from screaming. "If this is how I die so be it" he whispered to himself as his vision began to blur, the attempt made him grow light headed and he knew he was about to fall unconscious.

Before he lost consciousness he heard the faint noise of footsteps. He tried to move his head to see who was there but each movement caused him a great deal of pain. The footsteps came closer and stopped right besides him. Severus's vision was so blurred that all he could make out was that this person had blonde hair. Before he could make out any other detail about the person he passed out due to pain and exhaustion.

A small groan escaped past Severus's lips, he slowly opened his eyes and saw that he was in an unknown room, well not so much unknown he had been in here before but he never knew who brought him here. He attempted to sit up but he felt a pair of hands push him down "Don't attempt to sit up, you'll only hurt yourself more" he looked at the person who spoke and his eyes grew wide. "Lovegood?" He asked in confusion, Luna gave him a soft smile and held out a potion that would help ease the pain.

"Here sir, drink this it will help with the pain" She spoke softly and held the potion up to his lips. Severus allowed her to tip the potion into his mouth. He drank the potion in one go and made a face of disgust "I'm sorry, I know it taste awful" Luna stated and set the vial aside. Severus shook his head and sighed "It's fine" he muttered, Luna smiled and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Professor?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you join?"

Severus stared at Luna in confusion but that confusion faded when she pointed at his left arm. It was only then that Severus realised that his shirt had been removed and the dark mark on his arm was visible. He closed his eyes and tried to avoid answering the question but it seemed Luna wouldn't let him.

"Professor, please" She spoke softly and stared at him with pleading eyes. Severus opened his eyes and looked at her, after a minute he let out a deep sigh. "Because I was young and naive" He whispered as he closed his eyes again. He couldn't bear to look into Luna's eyes, he couldn't bear seeing the sadness in them. "Because I was blinded by the promise of power, the promise to be freed from a life of abuse, the promise to be the one on top, to no longer be looked down on." Severus spoke and finally opened his eyes to face her, he let out a sigh and sat up.

His body let out a jolt of pain in protest but due to the potion Luna had given him he was able to ignored it. "Because I finally gave in to everyones lies about me" He added as tears began to form. Severus attempted to wipe them away but Luna grabbed hold of his hand. Severus looked down inorder to avoid the look in her eyes. He knew she was looking at him with pity and that was the last thing he needed.

"But you're on our side now, I know you are." Luna spoke, Severus turned to face her and raised an eyebrow "And what makes you say that, Miss Lovegood?" He questioned. Luna gave him a smile "Forgive me Professor but I overheard a conversation between you and the Headmaster. I know about you being a spy for the Order" She explained "I've known for awhile, who do you think has been healing you all this time when you come back completely hurt" She added softly.

Severus stared at her in shocked, all this time it was Luna who was patching him up after a rough meeting with the Dark Lord. "You've known?" He said in almost a whisper, Luna nodded "Yes, the only thing I didn't know was why you had joined in the first place. Nor do I know what made you change sides"

He looked away and laid back down "I made a mistake, a very big mistake that helped set this war into motion. A mistake that endangered many innocent lives" He spoke out with guilt in his voice. Luna couldn't help but stare at him in confusion "Professor, what mistake did you make?" She asked.

Severus looked up at her with guilty eyes "I told the dark lord of the prophecy, I told him that the one destined to kill him would by born as the seventh month dies...." He breathed out as tears began to fall. It took awhile for Luna to understand what Severus was talking about but eventually it all clicked.

She faintly remembered Harry stating that Severus knew his mother back when they were younger. That both Harry and Neville were born at the end of July. That prophecy lead to the death of Harry's parents and to the destruction of Neville's parents. Luna couldn't help but stare at him in shock, nor could she have stopped the gasp that came from her.

Severus had looked away from her and made a move to stand up. Before he could move he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He opened his mouth to say something but was beaten to it "It wasn't you're fault Professor" Luna spoke and Severus felt his heart ache at those words. "It was, it was all my fault, if I had kept quiet, if I hadn't told him then-" He was quickly cut off by Luna tightening her hold on him.

"Stop, you aren't to blame" She stated "I costed people their lives, I endangered the life of the only person who was willing to help me" He muttered, his body began to shake as more tears began to fall. "I ended the life of my only friend!" He shouted out and clutched at the sheets below him.

Luna's heart began to ache and tears formed in her eyes, seeing her Professor fall apart caused her heart to ache badly. Luna let go of him and turned him around so that he could face her "Professor, you didn't know, if you hadn't had told him then someone else would have. And that person would have no regrets, that person wouldn't agreed to become a spy for the Order, that person wouldn't risk their life to help us win this war." She explained

"Nothing could have prevented this war, I can see the guilt in your eyes and I can hear the pain in your voice. You are risking your very life to make things right, without you we all would be dead. Harry would most likely be dead if it weren't for you" She added "We wouldn't have come this far without your help, I know you've done bad things, you've had to inorder to insure that the Dark Lord never questioned you're loyalty but I know truly were your loyalty lies and it lies with us here in the light" Severus couldn't help but simply stare at her, he opened his mouth to say something but Luna held up a hand and continued.

"Whatever you plan to say you can keep it to yourself Professor, You have so much bravery that it puts Godric Gryffindor and the entire Gryffindor house hold to shame. You made mistakes everyone does but it's take someone with a heart of gold to own up to them and attempt to right the wrong. I can see that you're broken but you show such incredible strength because I don't think anyone could do what you do. I don't think anyone could do what you do and stay alive." Luna said with admiration, she pulled Severus into a hug and smiled when she felt him wrap his arms around her.

"Whatever happens Professor, known that I am by your side. I promise I won't tell anyone about this, your secret should die with me. You aren't alone, not anymore" Severus pulled back and managed to give her a small smile "Thank you" he said softly. Luna nodded and stood up "I'll let you rest now, I should be heading back to my dorm" She said.

Severus simply nodded, before Luna left she hugged him one last time and left the room. Severus laid back down on the bed and wiped away the dry tears from his face. The guilt was still eating at him and he still blamed himself but after hearing what Luna said he felt that maybe she was right. He closed his eyes and let out a soft yawn, he succumb to sleep with one last thought in his head.

'I'll keep fighting, I won't give in. For her sake'

'For Luna Lovegood'

[graffiastrology]

The archer, a musical birth chart.pt 5 Does a scorpion sting when fighting back?

Pluto, Lilith and mars in Scorpio:

“No, I could never give you peace”

So yeah, danger does indeed live in you and your birth chart, and she was aware, Battles, revenge, death and transformation will come ahead.

And she knew, since Picture to burn to Better than revenge (songs that are not in the playlist since they may get changed in the new versions) this scorpio force within her, and she has lilith right in the midheaven, and I think of what she said in the “73 questiosn with vougue” What would you say to your past self?

"Hey, you're going to date just like a normal 20-something should be allowed to, but you're going to be a national lightning rod for slut-shaming,"

Lets remember who is Lilith, the mother of demons, the rebel woman,the "bad" wife now a feminist icon, she was expulsed from heaven for having her own desires and thoughts. Having this placement in the MC (the house of public career) can manifest in complicated ways where men and their good wives can point the finger at the MAD WOMAN and project everything you hate on her.

But Lilith in scorpio also has a power of transformation and fighting for women's rights

That event transformed her, and finally stepped into her raw female power.

But now lets go back in time where the narrative was very different, and painted her as a woman with BAD BLOOD putting other women down.But her enemy was not any woman, the triple scorpio herself: Katy Perry.

Scorpio vs Scorpio

Back in 2015 Taylor and Katy stared a big mediatic feud, 5 years from that we can analyze this in a very different way

So lets recap what happened and how everything went off the trails

From the POV of Katy she lent a couple of dancers to Taylor, and she should have known it was a temporary thing, since they have that in the contracts. She must have read the whole contract, right?

From the POV of Taylor from one day to the other she lost a number of dancers of the tour she carefully put together, but they cant go just away, they have a contract oh what it is? Katy told them to put a clause so they could leave the RED tour ? oh this is enough I don’t need a bunch of traitors in my tour, go away!

And they used to be so close, from her POV it looked like she knew what she was doing, and from the Katy perspective it was not a big deal, you tour didn’t fall apart, you had time to plan in advance, but no, band aids don't fix bullet holes

Make no mistake BAD BLOOD was a intimidation tactic, it was a display of power, and it show a side of Scorpio mars in the 11th house (house of frienships)

it was like "look at my army, look at my powerful friends, do you want to mess with us?" Little did she know she had traitors in her army, one of them will be the one to strike low and give her the punishment of a low libra sun pisces moon: destroying your image with lies and illusions.

And then Katy took an opportunity and kicked the horse when she was dead with SWISH SWISH, but Katy you should have known that Mars, your chart ruler, doesn't like this, because if you beat down your enemy when it is down it speaks volumes about your confidence and real power.

But surprise bitch!

She came back from the dead, Pluto in Scorpio in action, babey!

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, a power move like no other, just think about it, she could have:

Release Me! as planned and get a shit load of hate "you don't have the right to feel good about yourself, snake!"

Release an “apology” song, submit to the liar, and disappoint all the fans who stand her in her darkest time

Or this, take control of this whole snake narrative, loyal fans have already endured the storm, and it will create a new image, a powerful woman, one that attracted new fans (me included)

And so she was back at the top of the game while Katy was entering a dark era (probably going to make a playlist for her too) in these times she reflected in what went wrong and what was more important, because IT TAKES TWO to make a fight, she send a letter and Taylor recognized she may have blow things out of proportion and forgave her when they meet in the AFTERGLOW of their war.

But let's pause a moment, can we recognize the amount of growth that must take for 2 scorpio women to forgive and forget, to make amends? and that is something she always did, she believed people can be brand new, 32 and still change to grow up, still INNOCENT everybody makes mistakes, everybody makes impulsive choices that are not for the best...but what not everybody does is trick you, get you on the phone and mind-twist you record a call, edit it and re frame it to destroy someone. I am going to put the most interesting part of the call right here:

West: So it says “To all my Southside [N-word] that know me best, I feel like Taylor Swift might owe me sex.”

Swift: [Laughs, relieved.] That’s not mean….. oh my God, the buildup you gave it, I thought it was going to be like, “That stupid, dumb bitch.” But it’s not. So I don’t know. I mean, the launch thing,

West: You don’t have to do the launching and tweet. That was just an extra idea I had. But if you think that that’s cool, then it’s cool. If not… I mean, we are launching the s—

FAMOUS: I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex Why? I made that bitch famous (Goddamn) I made that bitch famous"

Sigh….THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

Okey let's analyze this, the song was released, Taylor did not promote it, he said that she didn't have to do that, there was an official statement and then the Grammys speech.

People gave him some flak, but nothing extraordinary...somehow he convinced himself he was the victim and as revenge he and his good wife put the edited phone call and used their platform to destroy her, truly a case of how to make the worst of their Gemini, Pisces and Libra.

And after the plutonic transformation and the power move move that was reputation, is time to sit down, and contemplate the pain, because yes, Scorpio is a tough cookie, but still a water sign, and the hurt is intense and after the war, there is pain and even after the years the shape of their name still spells out pain so yeah she doesn't need to forgive however send that letter so they can have their CLOSURE they can have my middle finger instead.

Because when a scorpion cries they will make sure their TEARS RICOCHET, and think about the themes of the scorpio house (8th) how death creates a ripple effect, a death like hers can't go unnoticed and can’t go without consequences (at the moment they are going to divorce) and that is the thing with the scorpio energy it is about action and consequences, its about death and transformation, it's about crime and punishment.

But LONG STORY SHORT: She survived

And I don’t see a better way to go from scorpio to Sagittarius than with that song, so lets JUMP AND THEN FALL into it.

[the-kings-of-games]

LEARN MY SHIP OT3 EDITION: Stolenshipping!!

Character Profiles:

Reginald “Shark” Kastle - former school bully, former Barian emperor, older twin brother, no nicknames (”Why do you have to call me by my full name? You sound like Rio!” —Shark)

Yuma Tsukumo - World Carnival champion, an angel, savior of the three worlds, one nickname (”I think Shark does it to make fun of me,” —Yūma, pouting)

Kite Tenjo - former Numbers Hunter, Heartland’s protector, big brother, one nickname (”He uses it only to get my attention.” —Kite)

How did it happened: slow and steady wins the race

Falling in love was never a part of the plan, but they couldn’t help but be drawn together. Maybe it was Yūma’s heart, Shark’s kindness, Kite’s tenderness, or a combination of all three that kept them on each other’s paths. (Maybe it was fate, or the heart of the cards.) It didn’t start as love but rather fondness and hope of fixing what was broken. Yūma was what connected the three of them at first, drawing the older boys with his enthusiasm for dueling, but it didn’t take long for Kite and Shark to see the other as the great duelist and gentle person that they are. As older brothers, they respect each other’s dedication towards their younger siblings, and they are equally thankful for Yūma coming into their lives. Their fondness, fueled by their hope, became a budding friendship between all three of them, and slowly, they start realizing that it is also love that they shared with each other. 

Relationship attitude: equally dedicated but shown in different ways

Yūma, Shark, and Kite are very dedicated to each other as they are dedicated to the other people they love. Yūma is very expressive and open about his affections vocally and physically, holding hands, giving kisses, calling his boyfriends’ names with joy. Neither of the older boys will deny his gestures, though they are less likely to initiate something themselves, at least in public. Shark acts like the disinterested boyfriend, doing whatever his significant others want him to do, but he’s always hoping that Yūma would lean against his shoulder or that Kite would talk about his day when they come up. He wouldn't deny them any gesture of affection. Kite prefers the comfort of home to do anything and likes to be in the middle so that he could hold both Yūma and Shark better. ^^ Shark likes to mess around and try to make it so that he and Yūma are holding him instead. ("I’m the big spoon again!” —Yūma) 

Misadventures:  If you lose Yūma, you’ll find him with trouble

Yūma both attracts and makes trouble, and that worries Shark endlessly. Kite is a bit more calm about it, but he will be there if something dangerous maybe occur. Yūma and Vector are still really good friends, and the former lets himself get pulled by the latter's enthusiasm and ideas. They really do have a lot of fun, but they will both get scolded at if anyone adventures done the "Ray Way" gets out of hand. Shark and Kite get in trouble in that they mostly just get involved.

I think I realized a mistake here in that Kite and Shark should be way down on "gets them out of trouble" scale, but honestly, it's pretty funny if those two are guys who go for the least bothersome thing but are just ready to throw down anytime at, like, a hint of an insult towards someone they love. ("Couldn't care less what people say about me. I at least know people won't try saying it to my face. If they talking about Rio, on the hand, that's a different story altogether." —Shark) Them getting into trouble is usually short lived as Kite's the type to deal with things himself and Shark makes sure people understand the first time around.

Handling conflict: perhaps similar, perhaps not at all

Shark doesn't start petty arguments anymore post-series, or at least he tries. Being leader of the former Barians again, he regains that sense of being a good role model; he's a lot more calmer, having more anchors in his life, and because of that, he is also more forgiving of people. One would expect that he at least dislikes Vector after all that the latter has done, but Shark sees that Vector does make Yūma happy and is trying to change himself. He forgives not becuase he understand but becuase he just can. The former Barians have all been through a lot—whole lifetimes, trauma, and hopelessness—so when the chance to make things better comes, Shark takes it because all that is truly all in the past.

Yūma is Yūma; he still easily acts and interacts with people the Ame as always, vocal about his confusion and his frustrations, and so he might get into fights or arguments when meeting new people; however, rarely does it take any offense easily. Having learned a lot about himself over the past year, he gets what's it like to be a bit egotistic, a bit selfish, a bit worried about anything, so he gets why people just say mean things like that. In the end, because of his easy going nature, he ends up making new friends as always!

Kite may be the one nobody should make conflict with. He may have opened his heart and treasure the people who fill his life, but he still does keep strangers at an arm length, wiling to give a hand but never heaisting to tell them to step away. They don't belong in his sphere of comfort so it's harder for him to forgive them, especially for bigger offensive like hurting his friends. He'd let people come at him because he knows he can handle them, and if they think they have the nerves to oppose him, he'd readily teach them a lesson they won't forget. He's the kind of guy who hits back, not first.

.

(Unfortunately, this one won't be as long as my Kizuna one, but if you're curious about the other stuff, feel free to send an ask! I'd love to talk more, just not here, lol. I have a lot of fun with Stolen, they're just great together. I'd like to interact with more Stolenshipping fans. ^^

Here's a fic I wrote them for them, inspired by a fellow Stolenshipper: Numbers Not Letters, rated G)

[konton-no-kami]

Random Recs For Simps

(Going to come back to edit this later. I have to go to work, - -) 

(Be sure to read the tags sis!!!)

(This is my first time doing this so forgive any of my mistakes, patna!)

You can find all of these fics here. > https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThuggaBaby/bookmarks

currents by moonwatcher

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28120959

Summary: Sasuke was pretty and funny and everything felt fine, so why was Naruto being as weird as Sasuke said he was?After a moment he realizes, simply and warmly too.

“It’s nice to see my best friend, too.”

Naruto can’t get enough of the way Sasuke smiles.

Kismet by DragonofFernweh

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3602040

Summary:  In a kingdom struggling, the Uchiha are forcing Sasuke into marrying the Uzumaki king in hopes it will link the two kingdoms and bring peace and prosperity. Sasuke doesn't wish to be sold away like this to a stranger, but he has no choice but to consent for the greater good of everyone. 

Will the two make it work, or has fate made a mistake?

Armistice by surveycorpsjean

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21640063

Summary: Sasuke is still here. Or maybe; love hasn't passed them yet.

time after time by foreverautumn

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3417266

Summary: "Who tells someone they look like a cat?"

"No, I said the cat looked like you," Eren corrects, looking back to the cat and ignoring Levi’s mounting confusion.

You’re Wearing It by kayoackerman

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27872841

Summary:  Levi's grown used to Eren being around, enjoys it if he's being honest with himself. Erwin decides it would be good for Eren to go out on a small recon mission, without Levi. Levi, angry and frustrated with the whole situation, Hange (the genius they are) decides to confront Levi about it. With Eren gone, Levi starts to realize just how important the brat is to him. Just how much he really loves him.

for him. by lovemepidge

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17901287

Summary: for him.

 Bakugou, Todoroki and Deku get hit by a body switch quirk during a battle. For a whole week they are stuck in each other’s bodies. They learn a lot more about each other than they knew before. Much more than they could ever think before.Basically, Bakugou and Todoroki are just really gay for Deku.

missing you and finding you by harryswilde

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758551

Summary: First part is about Sasuke missing Naruto (before their fight, when he's still training with Orochimaru) TW: depictions of self-harm Second part is after their fight, when Sasuke is travelling and meets Naruto in a lonely Inn.

clarity by ethydium

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20557622

Summary: Bakugou has his heat coming up, and he's sick and tired of spending it alone - so he hatches a plan to invite either Todoroki OR Midoriya to participate. However, his plan backfires, and he has BOTH of his crushes in his room, ready to jump at his every whim. Still, the rest of the plan can be carried out - get off, catch no feelings, be on his merry way. It's definitely going to work. 100%. ... except Bakugou's plans never really work out the way he intends to, ever.

A love story with the infamous ABO trope.

Kiss Intel by walkingcatfish

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26407774

Summary: Izuku discovered his quirk the day he had his first kiss. Moving districts after graduating had given him the opportunity for a fresh start after the teasing he faced for being quirkless in middle school, and with his self confidence renewed he finally managed to get himself a girlfriend in the middle of his second year. They were on their third date when they shared their first kiss. The day that Izuku discovered he was never quirkless after all. Also the day he lost his first girlfriend.

Tears Fall to the Ground (You Just Let Them Drop)  by miraculousemily47

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26829439

Summary:  Midoriya Izuku has had enough of life. Just when he decides to take the matter into his own hands, he gets a surprise phone call from his childhood best friend and middle-school bully, Bakugou Katsuki. On a whim, he decides to go see what Katsuki needs. Before long, his life has been completely flipped on his head. The only problem is, he's not sure if he wants that or not.

Irony by 419Jhat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17050757

Summary:  In the years spent with Jiraiya, Naruto develops a dangerous relationship with Uchiha Itachi that strains his responsibilities to Konoha and those that he loves.

‘I’ll cry the day this is finally updated. I’ll CRY’

He Who Shall Remain Dead by DeviWan

https://archiveofourown.org/works/659083

Summary: Naruto made a clone. He left that clone with Itachi. The clone and Itachi lived together under the same roof. Itachi had issues (being brought back from the dead would do that to you) and the clone took care of him. It's been nearly two years.

The world wasn't going to wait for them forever, so now it's time.

Naruto dismissed the clone. Poof!

Problem number three: Naruto was almost certainly sure that his clone had been in love with Itachi. Now, in the blink of an eye, he'd lived two years with Itachi. Naruto/Itachi slash.

heaven or hell by Servetolive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24301438

Summary: Where Reno came from, everyone was equally dangerous. And worthless.

Reno isn't sorry. Not about his job, the world he lives in, or the mako-eyed whore he likes.

[AU; Cloud is picked up by Reno of the Turks instead of AVALANCHE.]

‘WARNING: THIS ONE IS A BIT VIOLENT.’

frost god by Servetolive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27039613

Summary:  Reno is sick. Cloud does what he can, with extra advice from Tseng.

work first by Servetolive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140956

Summary:  “I wonder about you sometimes, kid. Like, you just stubborn? Is the dumb blonde thing an act?”

Cloud flattened his brow at Reno and snatched the towel from him. “Would it be too much to ask you to get me some dry fucking clothes?”

Cloud gets caught in a storm and ends up staying the night at Reno's.

Another One for The Sins by Sol_Morales707

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21780109

Summary: Sasuke Uchiha returns to the Hidden Leaf after years of his journey for repentance, of collecting and organizing his thoughts, to find out that Naruto was Hokage at last.

He doesn’t know how to feel about his two extra “welcome back” surprises though: one, that the knucklehead was a married man, and second, a father.

To learn that even with all his power, Sasuke was late.

Pyretos by Atanih88

https://archiveofourown.org/works/134799

Summary:  Sasuke came to stand closer. Naruto watched him, taking in the easy strides and the way Sasuke’s face remained devoid of expression as he took in Naruto’s wounds.

Damaged packages are still damaged packages by yours truly

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28054962

(NOT ME RECOMMENDING MY OWN WORK!!!! shhhh)

Summary: "We won't see each other for a while...," Naruto started.

"Don't." Naruto sighed, "Sasuke-."

"I said don't!" he gripped the front of his jacket tightly, the calming waves of the waterfront singing to their breaking hearts. It wasn't like they'd never see each other again, yet Sasuke was so broken up inside. "Okay."

Whoever was in higher power hated them both, just as Sasuke was allowing himself to feel again. It all goes to hell.

‘Really just posting my bookmarks here for safe keeping. Though, this was fun. I could do this with a specific ship if you want’

[lilyoffandoms]

Crimes Drabble - Trystan x Gabriel

For the @choicespride Valentine event. Kinda used the I love you but what the fuck prompt as an starting point but didn’t use the actual words. Because ain’t no way Gabriel going to admit they may be in love with Trystan.

Warnings & A/N: Swearing and hint at nsft if you squint. I just really hate Valentine’s Day and I have a partner who adores it and I just imagine these two being the same about it.

Quote edit by the lovely @aallotarenunelma

Valentine’s Day.

There are plenty of stupid holidays but Valentine’s Day takes the cake.

It’s the worst.

It’s a stupid made up holiday designed to sell overpriced greeting cards filled with overly sentimental drivel. It’s a stupid made up holiday designed to sell huge gaudy bouquets of flowers that will die within the week and require clean up after they’ve been forgotten and litter the table with their wilted petals. It’s a stupid made up holiday designed to sell chemicals disguised as heart shaped chocolate in heart shaped boxes that taste nothing like what chocolate should taste of. It is a stupid made up holiday designed to encourage restaurants into raising their prices on wine and designing special menus that cost a months worth of groceries for a quarter of a meals worth of food.

It was stupid.

They hated this day.

Gabriel was sitting on their couch with a book forgotten in their lap while stupid romantic drivel played from the music station they had pulled up. They turned off the stupid station playing stupid music and sighed. This day was stupid.

A loud, rhythmic knock at their door made them jump and they decided to ignore it.

Use the goddamn phone and send me a text if you want to reach me, they thought and snuggled deeper into the couch cushions. Anyone that knew them would have texted or called. Uncle Tommy was out on his date so it had to be someone they didn’t need to talk to.

When the knocking continued they gritted their teeth and shouted, “Go away.”

The knocking only continued with renewed vigor.

“I don’t care who you are but if you are still at the door when I get there, I will kick your ass!” they growled loudly as they slipped off the couch, taking the blanket with them.

They threw open the door, “What the hell do… you… want….” Their words came out slowly before stopping entirely as they saw Trystan standing in front of their door in a tux with an insanely huge armful of flowers, a box of chocolates that looked like it would cost this month’s rent in his arms from the best chocolatier in the state, and a bright smile on his face.

“Gabriel,” he smiled.

“What is this?” they asked confused.

“I’m wondering how you plan on kicking my ass wrapped in that blanket,” Trystan chuckled ignoring their question.

“I could,” Gabriel said and stepped back into his apartment. “A blanket wouldn’t stop me,” they finished and threw themselves back on the couch as Trystan followed them into the apartment.

“Got a hot date?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah, in fact,” Trystan said as he set the chocolates down and walked over to the small kitchen and set the bouquet on the end table that doubled as a desk and dinner table and everything else.

“And you’re here to what? Rub it in?”

Trystan didn’t answer.

“Where you taking them?” Gabriel pouted through a moment of wishing it was them.

“Some place where they can be all judgy about the overpriced menu and the couples pretending to be in love with each other for the night,” Trystan called from deeper in the apartment.

Gabriel sat up and scowled, “What the fuck do you think you are doing? I did not say to make yourself at home.”

They got up and followed the shuffling and rummaging until they found Trystan at their closet.

“And I sure as hell didn’t give you permission to go through my closet,” they said matter of factly from their spot against the doorframe.

“Trystan, seriously? What are you doing here? I’m not in the mood for whatever this is tonight.”

Trystan found what he was looking for and tossed the garment bag on Gabriel’s bed and made his way to stand in front of them.

“I refuse to take you out on our date with you wrapped in a blanket,” he chuckled and pulled it off of them.

They stood there, close together, as Gabriel tried to form a coherent thought in their head.

“Me?” was all he managed. “I’m your…”

“Yeah, detective. You,” he smirked as he placed a quick kiss to their lips. “You’re my hot date.”

Trystan placed another quick kiss to their lips and went back to the garment bag, carefully removing the outfit.

“Clothes. Floor. Now,” Trystan commanded.

“Yeah. No.” They crossed their arms and scowled. “You won’t get me naked that easily.”

“Listen, Ruby told me how you feel about today but I’m here to change your mind. Now, these clothes,” he ran his fingers up under the hem of Gabriel’s shirt. “These clothes need to come off and those clothes,” he pointed to the suit laid out on the bed, “need to go on. And then later tonight after I’ve thoroughly swept you off your feet, I will enjoy taking my time with you. But for now, we have a reservation in twenty.”

——————————

All Choices Tag: @storyofmychoices @peonierose @aallotarenunelma

Crimes Tag: @inlocusmads

Also tagging @choicesmonthlychallenge because part of the idea came from their To Be or Not To Be event (Not To Be: I hate this day) and I do love using your prompts for this event in unexpected ways hehe

[vanillawinston]

Mad World| Chapter FOUR

Joker x OC(Jane Parker)

Summary: Jane was in the wrong place at the wrong time and suddenly her life was falling apart. The past and future of a dangerous obsession which changed his life and destroyed hers completely.

Warning for this chapter: death, brutal

Back to the start HERE

Previous part HERE

Words: 1833

Joker

I saw their fear. I saw their incredible fear like it was screaming right to my face. Shaking, completely scared and with a wet face from all their shed tears they were kneeling right in front of me, wouldn't dare to look in my face, knowing exactly that all of this would be over soon, or more they hoped it would be over soon. Ohhh no, they could wish for it to be over, a wish I would for sure not grant them.

"You thought you could play a game," I said and walked a little bit closer to the two whimpering men, "a game with ME?" I screamed the last word, saw gladly how one of them sobbed pathetically. Oh, it would be so much fun taking their lives, taking it slowly, painfully and showing them what a huge mistake they've made to anger me. It would be the greatest fun I had for a long, long time. I cocked my head, eyed both of them more precisely, saw how their faces showed some wounds, how their clothes were ripped into shreds. They had no similarities to the noble men they once were, I have taken care of that.

"I-I'm s-so...s-so sorry, Mr. J..." "Na, na, na, na," I rebuked him and interrupted him by this. Even the men who were holding those two pricks seemed scared, feared me in this mood, and they should. Today wasn't a day anyone should anger me, goad me, oh no!

"No one is betraying me, haven't I tried my best to teach you this, Sam?" I asked and knelt in front of the man who hold his eyes shut, too afraid to look me in the eyes, and whose tears, mixed with snot, were falling on the ground.

"I've tried everything," he screamed pathetically and only managed it to make me angrier. Furious I slapped his face, over and over again, laughed loudly while doing so, saw how his blood was splattered everywhere. It was hard to force myself to stop, but I had to if I wanted to make sure, he wouldn't die so fast. He should suffer, he should feel my pain, he should always feel my pain, and I would make sure of it!

"It is your fault she is gone, and I will make you suffer for it!" I said and pulled him closer to me, saw into his swollen face

"S-she..." "She trusted you, right," I laughed and took his face in both of my hands, "And now she is gone, because of you. Bring him away. Let him live, I need to torture him for the rest of his life, will have so much fun with him as my new toy." With these words I stood up, saw how some of my guys took him away, dragged him away, heard him screaming and begging for mercy I would never show him. He begged me to forgive him, begged me to kill him now, but he would never get an easy death, he would suffer like she had to because of him. He would be sorry, I will make him sorry! She was dead because of a mistake he had made, and I could never forgive him.

"What about him?" The other guard asked, and I sighed annoyed of this question, took my gun and shot my other prisoner, who fell to the ground.

"Who?" I asked unimpressed, "Take care of the plan, I want everything to happen smoothly." I left the room, had enough of this mess for today. I would get Harley back. Today I needed her more than ever, today was the day which would always remind me of what they have taken away from me, and I would never let this happen again. Harley would never be Jane, she would always be unable to hold a candle to Jane, but for now she was good enough.

Jane

It was scary and I kind of felt like I was part of one of the Horror games my brother always had played while walking through the destroyed and abandoned city. Instead of my old clothes, I've gotten some new stuff, everything in black, tight to my body, and a belt full of knives, including a gun, was now my only accessories. I followed the rest of my group, hold one of my many knives in my hand, knew there was a high chance of dying soon, but this was just creepy. What the hell had happened here? Why wasn't anyone talking to us? Informing us about what the hell is going on here? Where are we even going? What was the destination?

"If you won't breath more quietly, I will rip your lungs out," Katana hissed threatening to Boomerang who really was breathing loudly like he just was part of a marathon, even though we were walking so slowly, even a snail could overtake us in this pace.

"Sorry," he mumbled, and I smiled shortly when I saw how humble he seemed to be, but fast remembered again where I was and how serious this mission was which I realized when Rick exhaled hardly in front of us, and the reason why was found fast.

"Are those humans?" Harley asked with disgust, and I also looked with horror to the dead bodies in front of us which for sure were humans... some time ago.

"Seems like it," Floyd mumbled, and I swallowed hardly. In this moment the reason for all the dead people mad themselves noticeable, and I really had no idea what the hell this was, but when I saw the monsters, I thought this all must be nothing but a sick dream.

"Holy shit," Boomerang breathed when these weird creatures started attacking us, and I was completely devastated to see things, creatures like this. But what the hell was that? What the hell was happening here? Automatically I stumbled back, saw how the other guys of Rick started to fight against those things while our little group was just standing still, didn't do anything at all. I wanted to help, I really wanted to fight, to feel the same things I've felt in the past when I had to defend myself, it always had been so exciting, but I haven't had to do anything like this for over two years, I would probably die within a minute. What the problems of the others were, was uncertain for me, but they presumably just didn't want to help Rick. This is when Floyd remembered again that Rick was the keeper of all our lives and if he dies, we all would die with him!

I saw how Boomerang, Floyd, Harley and Crow helped the others, started to fight, keep Rick safe, only Diablo stayed next to me.

"Won't you help them?" I asked reproachfully, but I've heard about his powers, they were part of him, he wouldn't have to be scared to forget how they work, he would be able to help.

"No," he simply said, and I saw with a scared look to the fight, how there were more and more of those monsters, and I knew that I had to help, I had to help Floyd! If I die, it would be for something good and in freedom, it was better than dying in the prison. I ran to one of those monsters, threw my knife and saw happily how it landed right in the middle if his head.

"Jane, watch out!" Floyd screamed, and I had to duck away from one of those things, run my next knife in his throat before pulling it out again. I ran to the next monster, was completely out of breath from this little motion, but it was so weird to actually run again, to fight.

"You are better than I thought, little one," Boomerang laughed while I killed the next monster right next to him, smiled happily because of it. I never thought I would still be able to do this, to kill so easily, but seemed like it was part of me, just like he had told me all the time.

"You are not bad either," I said, smiling and I knew it was crazy, but it really was funny to run around, kill those monsters, to fight for your own life, it was exciting, it made me feel so alive. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw how Floyd shot every monster he saw, how Rick fought with all his power and how Harley was hitting some of those things with her bat. Most of Ricks other guys died, only Katana seemed to really be able to protect herself, to kill everything standing in her way. Never would I've thought that one day I would fight next to all those people, not because of some rivalry or because out of fun, but because we had to, because we had to protect ourselves. How could I imagine it? It was absurd, like some dream, and maybe all of this was just that, a weird dream? Maybe being locked up finally made me lose my mind.

"Watch out!" someone screamed right behind me while I was completely lost in my own mind, and before I could react, someone grabbed me by my hips and pulled me away just in time. I screamed when in the same moment a monster landed right where I was standing a second ago, and without thinking twice, I threw my knife at it, killed the last of these monsters.

"Thank you," I said out of breath, looked to Diablo who once again had saved my life and who was now nodding. He hadn't done anything, he hadn't fought with us, and I really couldn't get why, after all, he was the strongest of all of us with his power.

"Why were you just standing here?" I asked reproachful while putting my hair back to a ponytail. This fight had destroyed my last one completely, I must look like a mess, but I couldn't care less about something like this right now.

"Maybe all the stories are nothing but fairy tales?" Harley asked and walked to us, smiling.

"Even if so, he could have done anything to help," I said, but there had to be some sort of weapon he could use, he could handle. He was a prisoner, for some reason he had been locked up, so he was for sure capable to fight! I wouldn't understand him. He didn't seem to care that much, just shrugged and walked away, to the rest of the group, simply didn't care about anything, and still he had saved my life, twice now. What was his problem? Why was he like that?

Aloha :) I hope you liked it. Sorry for any grammar or editing mistakes, tell me if you like to be tagged and the Gif is not mine xx

Tag: @xxqueenwxtchxx

[emachinescat]

And That Would Be Enough

A Merlin Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat

@febuwhump day 27 - “I wish I had never given you a chance”

Summary: In a moment of grief, Arthur says something to his newly appointed Court Sorcerer that he instantly regrets. 

Characters: Merlin, Arthur

Words: 2,752

TW: None

Note: Emotional whump is still whump, right? :) This was written while sick, and I didn't have time to edit, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes. I will go back and edit after posting; I'm on a bit of a time crunch. This takes place in an AU Camelot where Arthur lives, the knights are all alive, and Merlin is made Arthur's court sorcerer.

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

Words are powerful things.  As king of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon knew very well how a few simple words had the power to heal or to destroy, to build or to tear down, to foster friendship or feed hatred.  He had seen words ruin lives, give hope, change the course of entire nations.  His own words had impacted his kingdom and the people around him in unprecedented ways. 

The words of a king held the potential for great and terrible things, which was why Arthur always chose his words as king so carefully.  The words of a grieving friend had just as much power for making or breaking a world, if not more so – and despite all his diplomacy, all of his training, the king of Camelot still struggled to choose his words wisely when he was hurting, particularly when he was speaking to those closest to him.  Perhaps that is the way of humanity – we allow our naturally self-destructive nature to chip away at the relationships and people that mean the most to us, and sometimes, when life spins too far out of our control, we snap, and words that we do not mean, never would mean, come flying out like an arrow from a ranger’s bow, aimed straight for the hearts of our dearest friends.

Now, Arthur Pendragon’s words had changed no one’s life more completely than his former manservant, Merlin’s.  Just a week ago, Arthur’s lips had formed the words in front of his court and Camelot that Merlin was not only to be a freeman of Camelot, but that magic was legal in the kingdom after over twenty-five years of fear and hatred for peaceful magic users, and that it was Merlin, his new Court Sorcerer, who would oversee the magical protection of Camelot, and who would ensure that magic was only used for good.  Arthur would never forget the disbelieving joy shining in Merlin’s eyes in that moment as he gazed out upon the home that finally accepted him, looked at his king and saw nothing but pride and friendship in his gaze where he had once feared fear and judgment.  It had been a staggering moment for Arthur, that weighty realization that Merlin had truly lived his life in fear of being killed because of how he was born, that the king was now witnessing a soul set free and the beginning of a new era.  Never, he told himself as he watched his Court Sorcerer wave tentatively to the gathered crowd, would he allow Merlin to go back to feeling like he was a mistake, like he was a monster, like he wasn’t enough.

He meant that oath when he made it to himself.  Unfortunately, tragedy has a way of taking our promises, even the most sacred ones, and stripping them from us like bark from a tree.  Pain and loss break us down and force us to our knees and pull hurtful words from the pits of our pain and we throw them around at those who want nothing more than to help us.  

The attack on the patrol had been unexpected and brutal.  For the first time, king and warlock had fought openly, side by side, and Arthur saw yet again how powerful his clumsy friend truly was, and his heart swelled with pride and love for the man who had stood so loyally by his side for so long.  Merlin protected his king and the knights diligently, but as so often happens in any battle, someone strayed too far from the group and fell through the cracks.  Merlin tried to save Sir Arnold, a young knight who Arthur had personally scouted, recruited, and trained as part of his initiative to bring in more loyal and talented men regardless of nobility.  Arnold had been a farmer’s son from a small village on the outskirts of Camelot, and he was a natural fighter, a brave, selfless young man who had wormed his way into the hearts of Arthur and his men.  

He was only twenty years old when he was killed in the senseless, stupid bandit attack, and though Arthur had seen Merlin fight, watched the pain at the loss fill his eyes the moment that Arnold fell, the king’s grief and loss shrouded his vision and he lashed out after the battle at the only person who might have been powerful enough to stop it and hadn’t.  He knew that Merlin had done everything he had to protect all of them, and knew that Merlin too had been close to the young knight, who had thought magic was the most amazing art in the five kingdoms and had followed Merlin around like a loyal pup, bright eyes alight for more displays of magic.  And yet, despite knowing this, Arthur’s words careened out of his grasp in his shock and pain, and he said words to Merlin that took everything his closest friend held dear and smashed it to a million pieces.  Never had Arthur regretted words he had spoken so desperately the second they left his tongue.

“I wish I had never given you a chance!  What’s the point of your magic, Merlin, if you can’t keep the people who trust in you alive?  Arnold trusted that you would keep him safe, and you let him down.  You failed him.  Maybe my father was right.  Maybe magic’s more trouble than it’s worth!”

He didn’t mean a word of it, of course.  But Arthur had just watched a young man who had had so much potential die before his eyes, cut down by a bandit’s sword – a weapon normally so useless in the face of magic.  Grief had sunk its raking claws into his flesh and spit vile lies into his ears, and he lashed out at the person who had just saved his life, and everyone else’s – Gwaine’s, Elyan’s, Lancelot’s, Percival’s, Leon’s, Arthur’s lives.  One person had gotten himself into danger that even Merlin hadn’t been fast enough to stop.  And yet, instead of focusing on the fact that Merlin had saved everyone else, instead of thinking about how Merlin would already feel guilty and devastated at his perceived failure, Arthur allowed his emotions to twist his words into something to harm, not to heal, and he watched with horror as Merlin’s tentative grasp on control and self-worth crumpled with his face.

Arthur could feel the glares of his knights on him the moment the words escaped, but he had eyes only for his Court Sorcerer, who was backing away with a horrible, broken look in his eyes.  Arthur reached out a hand as if trying to grab the hurtful things he had said, as if trying to snatch them back.  But it was too late, and he lowered his hand.  “Merlin, I–”

Merlin shook his head, and Arthur could see him trembling.  “I’m sorry, Sire,” the sorcerer said, then he turned and disappeared, quite literally, into thin air.  Arthur knew he wouldn’t be far – he wouldn’t leave them unprotected, but decided to give Merlin time before he pursued this again.  Meanwhile, he knew, his knights would not be pleased with him, and as he predicted, they made no attempt to hide their disapproval for his treatment of his closest friend.  Arthur carried Sir Arnold’s body on his own horse, and the ride back to the citadel was passed in solemn silence.

Arthur dearly missed Merlin’s company during the short but hard ride home.

***

That evening, after Arthur had personally spoken to Arnold’s poor father, had somehow found it within him to give him the news that no parent ever wanted to hear, Arthur found himself on The Balcony – the one that his father, and now Arthur himself, used to look out upon his kingdom and address his people.

For a while, he just gazed out at the citadel, at the manifestation of all that his father before him, and then he himself, with Gwen and Merlin and his knights by his sides, had built and refined.  After a while, he realized that he was no longer alone, though he could see or hear no one.  

“I can tell you’re there, Merlin,” the king said heavily.

Merlin shimmered into view to Arthur’s left.  The king glanced over, slightly amused, mostly proud, to see that Merlin had unconsciously adopted the same stance as his king – spine erect, hands folded and forearms resting on the railing, chin high and face set firm.  In that moment, Arthur felt power and nobility radiating off of the sorcerer more acutely than he ever had before.  For the first time, perhaps, he could truly feel the weight of the destiny Merlin had told him about, see the prophesied warlock Emrys stand tall with the world placed squarely on his shoulders.  Arthur felt an aching desire to take some of that weight from his friend and bear it on his own back.

Instead, because it was the only way he knew how to deal with his emotions and affection for his former servant, Arthur complained.  “It’s freaky that you can do that, you know.”

“Do what?”

“Turn yourself invisible.  Are you sure it’s a power you can use responsibly?”

He imagined an amused smirk on Merlin’s lips, but when he glanced over at his friend, the warlock’s face had not changed; it seemed to have been carved from stone.

And so Arthur pushed back his fear and discomfort and grief and pain and said what he truly needed to say, despite how uncomfortable it was, despite how much he felt that he had no right to even speak to Merlin in that moment, let alone request his forgiveness, his friendship.  “I cannot express how sorry I am for what I said to you today.”

This time, Merlin shrugged – Arthur caught the motion in the corner of his eye.  “You spoke the truth, Sire.”

Arthur really hated it when Merlin called him Sire .  

“No, I didn’t,” the king insisted, and when Merlin continued to stare forward, he couldn’t help himself – couldn’t stand to see Merlin shouldering a blame and a pain that Arthur had helped put there, had encouraged with thoughtless words and his own misplaced grief.  He reached out, grabbed Merlin by the shoulders, and spun him around so they were facing one another.  Merlin looked up at him, and Arthur saw why Merlin had refused to look at him.  

He was crying.

Arthur let go of his friend’s thin frame so abruptly it was as if he had been burned.  “Gods, Merlin, I’m sorry.  I had no right – no right – to make you feel like Arnold’s death was your fault.”

A tear crawled down Merlin’s face, caught on the edge of his cheekbone, and hovered there for a moment that spanned eternity.  Finally, it plunged, disappearing into the neckerchief that Merlin had insisted he keep wearing despite his new and improved title.  

“You made yourself very clear,” the warlock said in the most measured voice he could muster.  Anyone other than Arthur might have been fooled by the stoicism, but the king, who had known Merlin for so long and been through so much with him, heard the tiniest of tremors and could not recall a time that he hated himself more than this.  “And anyway,” Merlin continued.  “You were right.”  He spread his hands out wide, and magic, cerulean sparks of light that Arthur had come to associate with everything good that Merlin was, sprang to life between them.  As the king watched, the color changed from blue to purple to a dark, blood red.  “What is the point of my power if it can’t protect everyone ?”

Arthur, having been reminded so fully the power of words, chose his next ones very carefully.  “No one,” he said slowly, “not even the great Emrys , not even my oldest, dearest friend, can take care of everyone all the time.”

Another tear rambled down Merlin’s cheek, curled around his trembling chin before dropping off to join the first.  “But you were right, Arthur.  Arnold – he trusted me.”

“And he was right to.”  Arthur put every ounce of conviction he possessed into his assurance.  “I saw what happened, Merlin.  The moment he was hit, you were protecting Gwaine from a surprise attack from behind.  Your back was turned at just the wrong moment.  Arnold had wandered out of your line of sight, as well.  And you did everything to save him when he went down.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“Sometimes our best isn’t enough,” Arthur reminded Merlin.  “But we have to make it enough.  We have to understand that even if we can’t protect everyone all the time, that we ourselves are still enough.  As long as we try , it has to be enough.”

“Well, it’s not.”

“I know.”

They stood in silence, and they grieved their fallen friend.  Somewhere along the way, Arthur’s hand found its way onto the back of Merlin’s neck, and without either of them realizing it was happening, the king pulled his dear friend into an embrace, and together they wept for the good man that had been lost.

When Merlin finally drew away, his eyes red and puffy – Arthur knew his own must look the same – he managed a shaky smile that didn’t reach his eyes, but Arthur knew that for now, it would have to be enough.  “I know you didn’t mean what you said,” the warlock acknowledged.  

“But it still hurt you,” Arthur observed.  Merlin dropped his eyes.  

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does .  Merlin, I would be dead a million times over if it weren’t for you.  So would the knights.  But – but , that does not mean that if something happens to one of us that you failed.  You may be magic itself, but you’re still only one person.”

“Technically, I’m two,” Merlin argued miserably.  “And Emrys is supposed to keep everyone safe.”

Arthur studied his friend in the moonlight, then patted him kindly on the back.  “When I look at you, whether you’re doing powerful magic or tripping over a blade of grass, I don’t see Emrys and Merlin – I just see you .  And you keep me safe, you always have.  You do your job, and you do it well, Merlin.  Sometimes, people are lost, and it hurts .  But the only person you have control over is yourself.  Something I have had to learn the hard way as king is that you can’t always keep everyone safe.  You just have to do your best.”

Merlin sniffled, and he now looked like a lost child rather than a powerful sorcerer.  When he spoke, his voice was thin, weak.  “Do you still wish you’d never given me a chance?”

The question, asked sincerely, struck Arthur in the heart like an assassin’s blade.  “I never should have said that,” he said earnestly.  “And I know that I hurt you, and that you will spend years fighting those words said in a moment of pain, but I promise you that I will not rest until I have convinced you of the truth – that I have never been happier, or more proud, to have you by my side, old friend.  I’m delighted to have given you – and your magic, and our destiny – a chance.”

“Maybe you have the makings of a great king, after all,” Merlin joked, and this time, the tiniest of smiles glinted in his eyes.  He added mischievously, “Tell anyone I said that, and I’ll turn you into a toad.”

Arthur smirked.  “I don’t know, Merlin – maybe being a toad would be easier than all of this.”

They sobered at the collective thought of the friend they had lost.  Merlin scrubbed his face with the back of his hand.  After a moment of subdued silence, he took up the olive branch his king had offered him and joked, “But just think about how many things would want to kill you if you were a toad.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow.  “And that’s different than now because…?”

Merlin gave a curt nod as the two, in some unspoken agreement, turned and began to make their way back into the castle.  “Fair point.”

“Either way, though,” Arthur pressed, jabbing his elbow playfully into Merlin’s side, “I’d have you to protect me, right?”

Merlin took far too long to think about his answer.

“Merlin!”

“It’s just I’m not too fond of toads,” Merlin admitted.

“Merlin!”

And side by side, king and warlock made their way through the grief and uncertainty and guilt and hurt the way they always did –

Together.

[danyka-fendyr]

Absence of Good - 8

Chapter Eight: Despair and Devotion

I’m so sorry this took so long to get out everyone! I’ve been doing literally a ridiculous amount of traveling lately, what with COVID-19 and all the travel plans I had even before the outbreak. Suffice it to say, I’m extremely exhausted as I post this, and I haven’t edited it at all so I deeply apologize for any spelling mistakes or any other errors. Thank you so much to all of you for being so patient and waiting for me! (Also yes I did just watch Emma and it shows okay?)

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @rhabakoli @alwaysadreamingoptimist

AoG Taglist: @pancakefancake @prettyboyspenerrr @youreasnack @alioop3818 @newtslatte @rathersuspiciousbumblebee

Wordcount: 3773

Warnings: None! This is mostly fluff. Some vague references to PTSD.

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” ― Jane Austen 

You rolled over in your bed, trying to fall into the spot of sunlight you knew would be painted over your sheets at this time of morning. Though you were only vaguely aware of what time it was, it was probably about an hour before you were actually supposed to wake up, your mind just starting to stir again. Instead of encountering your usual sunny spot in bed though, you found an entirely different source of warmth.

You cracked your eyes open in confusion. Dr. Spencer Reid was lying in your favorite pool of early morning sunshine, and you felt a brief moment of panic strike its way through your chest before doing an evaluation and realizing that you were both fully dressed and furthermore, had remained sober last night. It came back to you as you looked at him, remembering that he had helped you inside as you broke down crying and a very sleepy, very compromised version of your current self had begged him to stay with you.

Was that bad? It was probably okay to platonically sleep with your coworker, you reasoned. Nothing had happened. You hadn’t even thought about it happening. Maybe under other circumstances you would have thought about what a nice mouth he had or the look he got in his eyes when he was concentrating on something or his hands, which were very nice hands, you had to admit-

Oh gosh. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. This was a terrible idea, and had been a terrible idea before you had even had the idea, before anyone in the history of time had ever had an idea. You had to get out of here, right now.

Except here was your apartment, which was also a problem. Which meant that Spencer had to get out of here right now.

You shook his shoulder, pulling him out of his sleep. You almost felt bad for doing it, having noticed the dark circles under his eyes on more than one occasion. He looked so young and sweet in his sleep too. Spencer always had a boyish quality to him, but in his sleep it only increased, the concerned wrinkle in his brow falling away to a soft little half-smile that made you wonder if he was dreaming, and if he was what about.

That only increased your urgent need to get him out of here and awake though. Your half-asleep mind was still compromised, and your traitor fingers were itching to swipe across the velvet of his mouth, to gently push back the locks of hair falling into his forehead. All of which you had certainly never thought about before.

“Spencer! Wake up!”

It took a moment, but gradually he complied, honey brown eyes emerging only to be lit up by the morning sky.

“Hmmm? Oh, Y/N.” He smiled hazily. “Good morning.”

You suspected he hadn’t forgotten a single detail of what had happened last night, what with his eidetic memory, so you didn’t bother giving him a recap. Instead, you launched plan “Get Spencer out of here immediately” into action.

“We’ve got work in 2 hours. You have to get out of here,” you said, all brisk business to counteract Spencer’s alarming lethargy.

You had never seen the man relaxed, and he chose today of all days to appear pleasantly drowsy, of all things.

“2 hours? I think we have a little bit of time.” Spencer chuckled, raising his arms above his head, the muscles in his arms tugging his rumpled white dress shirt up to reveal the surprisingly toned planes of his stomach.

Which you were not thinking about. Which you were under no circumstances even contemplating contemplating.

“Well, you live 20 minutes from here, and you’ll need clean clothes and-”

Spencer cut your frantic ramblings off, seeming confused by your concern as he sat halfway up.

“I have clothes in my go-bag. What’s the matter?” A look of concern settled into the muddy depths of his eyes, and he reached out to pull you closer, one warm hand wrapping securely around your elbow. “Did you have a nightmare?”

You felt that tugging in your chest again, that longing, that need to just fall into bed with him. To take a sick day. To take 12 sick days. To lay in your bed with Spencer and never ever leave, just stay there running your fingers through his hair, tracing the veins in his arms. All things you absolutely could not do.

“No,” you said quietly, unable to stop staring into his eyes, entranced.

He leaned forward, and you caught a whiff of him, the smell of mostly coffee with something else a little bit woodsy left over from some aftershave or cologne he must wear.

“Then what?”

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and your heart did a little tap-dance in your chest.

I need you to leave because I want to kiss you desperately, but I can’t.

“I’m afraid if you stay, I’ll get too attached. You saw how I was last night. I’m…unbalanced. And if you stay, I might start relying on you, and I can’t do that.”

One full truth in exchange for the absence of another.

“Relying on me how? Relying on me for help? Being willing to come to me when you feel ‘unbalanced’? Because I want that, Y/N. I want you to come to me.” His voice was soft, low.

You were so screwed.

“It’s a bad idea,” You whispered, still not looking away.

Then he said the worst thing he could have possibly said to you at that moment, when you were already so weak for him, so tantalizingly on the edge of something equally dangerous for both of you.

“You think I don’t need you too?”

Sometimes I need you so bad I can’t breathe because of it. Right now, right now I need you so bad I can’t breathe because of it.

“We’re not supposed to. We’re not supposed to need each other. What if something happens?” Still, you were leaning towards him, falling forward like gravity was playing some kind of sick game with you.

“It already did. And maybe it makes me selfish, but I’d rather have as much of this as I can get now instead of waiting for something terrible to happen again.”

Did he even know what he was saying? What he was implying? How good his mouth looked when he was saying those kinds of things to you?

Okay. Just kiss me, and I’ll forget everything. I’ll forgive you for every selfish sin you’ve ever committed if we can make this one of them.

“You should go.” You had never sounded less convicted of anything in your life.

Spencer faltered, and immediately you regretted the words when you saw the flicker of pain race through him. The way his hand fell from your face, the way his eyes fell to the sheets to hide how much you had wounded him. And before he could speak, you desperately scrambled to say something, anything to make it better, and said the one thing you probably shouldn’t have, if only because you meant it.

“I don’t want you to, though.” Another correction would be necessary for that kind of truth, and you frantically changed your mind again and tacked on a new amendment. “Which is why you should.”

He was looking up at you with a blazing hope and determination now, though.

“But you don’t want me to?”

Not even a little bit. I’ve never wanted anything less.

“Not even a little bit. I’ve never wanted anything less.”

You shouldn’t be allowed to speak words before 7 AM.

“I know how to make pancakes,” Spencer offered.

“I like pancakes.”

“Okay. Good.”

Then he got up out of your bed which immediately made your life slightly easier because at least he’s no longer just lying there in your bed looking beautiful.

While Spencer made pancakes, you hurried to get dressed, tying your hair up into a bun and abandoning the thought of anything more fashionable. Most of your makeup was just a touched-up version of whatever ended up smeared all over your pillows last night.

“You know, in the U.S., the most pancakes are eaten in the South. They make up 32.5% of pancake consumption in America.”

You laughed a little bit, unable to stop yourself from smiling at him. It was a little bit blissful having him here in your kitchen like this, making you pancakes for breakfast. You were allowed to have this, right? This little bit of platonic intimacy?

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“Well now you do.”

You kind of thought he smiled like an angel.

You stole the finished pancake straight out of the pan from him, and he gave you a playfully disapproving frown.

“Hey! I wasn’t done with that!”

You hopped up on the counter beside him and took a bite out of it, ignoring how hot it was in your hands.

“Tastes pretty done to me,” you responded cheekily.

He reached into the cupboard behind you, knowing in that creepy way that he knows everything exactly where your plates were, procuring one for you to place the pancake on. You set it down, looking up only to find yourself in a very compromising position. He was so close to you, and he wasn’t moving away. He could kiss you if he just leaned a little bit farther forward. You wanted him to kiss you. Does he know that too? Does he know where you keep your secrets just like he knows where you keep your plates?

“We can’t do this again,” you said, your voice coming out pleasantly firm for the first time this morning.

“Can’t do what?” He pushed hesitantly.

“We’re colleagues. You making me breakfast is weird. Besides, we wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, right?”

His posture went stiff, and he pulled back further away from you, the space between you freezing over.

“Right. I should go get dressed for work. We have to go soon.”

He disappeared and you took another bite of your pancake. It was cold.

 You made a point to arrive separately from Spencer, but the second you walked into the office you knew it was pointless because there he was being cajoled by Morgan about how he was wearing his go-bag clothes and therefore must have gotten laid last night, and then you locked eyes with the very wise Jennifer Jareau and you could see that she knew. She could see the messy traces of your hastily corrected makeup and she knew exactly where Spencer was last night.

You needed to fix this. Now.

“I’m going to go grab some coffee. Missed my usual stop this morning.” You made pointed eye contact with her.

“I could go for some too,” she said, casually following you.

You had been out of hearing range for maybe a second before she asked the obvious question.

“Did you and Spencer sleep together?”

“Sleep? Yes. Anything else? No.”

“So, he stayed at your place but nothing romantic happened.”

“Why do you sound so skeptical?” You scoffed, pouring coffee into the Styrofoam cup you had grabbed.

Jennifer grabbed your arm, making direct eye contact with you.

“I sound skeptical because I’ve known Spencer for years and I’m a profiler, which means I know that he’s in love with you, and you’re in love with him.”

It was a shot in the dark, and it just happened to hit you right in the heart.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, adding cream to your coffee now.

“Cut the crap, Y/N. If you can’t be honest with him at least be honest with me.”

“Fine. I think I might love him. He’s the best man I’ve ever met. I am absolutely not allowed to love him. Are you happy now?”

“Why aren’t you allowed to love him? I mean, there are the obvious reasons, of course, but there are ways to get around those. Those are just excuses. So, what’s stopping you?”

“An interrogation over my morning coffee. How lovely.” You forced your voice to be breezy, light.

It didn’t work on JJ, though. She just waited, knowing that sooner or later you would break the silence.

Your hands were shaking as you stirred the cream in your cup.

“I’m not in a good headspace for that kind of thing right now JJ. I’m all messed up, and I don’t want to mistake feelings of being grateful to him for feelings of love. He’s helped me more than anyone can know but I don’t want to get it all mixed up. I can’t love him like this.”

Another moment of silence lingered between the two of you before JJ spoke, solemn and quiet.

“Are you afraid you can’t love him like this or are you afraid he can’t love you like this?”

Your hands locked up around the stirring stick at her words, jaw clenching around the truth. Maybe she was right, but that didn’t mean you didn’t hate it.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him, Y/N. I know that you cared about him before this. All I’m saying is…don’t let something bad ruin something good. I know what it’s like to think your trauma defines you. To feel like you’ll never get past what he did to you. But if you let him stop you from doing what makes you happy, he’s still winning.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” you spat. “You have a husband and 2 sons who love you that you go home to. You have a life and a family and friends.”

“You have friends too. You’re not alone in this. We love you. All of us, not just Spence. Just…don’t stop yourself from being happy just because you’re afraid.”

You took a deep breath. Willed yourself to relax, to listen to her words. You knew that she did know something of what you had gone through, had endured her own torture over the years. Unbidden, an image of Spencer smiling at you, flipping pancakes over your stove popped into your head, and you felt that increasingly familiar jump in your chest.

“What if he can’t love me like this?” You whispered.

“Then the rest of us will.” With that JJ squeezed your hand, poured herself a black coffee and walked away.

You stood there for a moment longer, a bit frozen as you stared down into your cup, something that didn’t escape Spencer’s notice.

“Hey, you okay?” He said, approaching you.

“Remember how this morning I said that we shouldn’t do breakfast anymore because we’re colleagues and it’s weird?”

“I have an eidetic memory, Y/N. Yeah, I think I remember,” he joked, though you could tell it pained him a little bit to do it.

“Do you agree with that? Do you think it’s weird?”

“Well…I’ve never really been what people call normal, so I guess I’m not a good gauge of what’s weird or not,” he said, dodging the question.

“Did you disagree with me when I said it?” You wanted so badly for him to say that he did.

“I…no. I know most colleagues don’t have breakfast together. I mean, not in that sense. Plenty of professional relationships involve various different meetings over food, breakfast being slightly more casual than, say, a lunch meeting-”

“But did you want to do it again anyway?” You interrupted.

He paused to think, chewing on his lip nervously.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. It was nice.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” You smiled at him.

“You…you thought it was nice too?” His doe eyes went wide with surprise.

“Yeah. Can I uh…can we take this somewhere a little less crowded?” Your eyes darted around the bullpen.

“Uh, yeah,” Spencer said, his voice doing that nervous thing where it jumped up an octave, making you hide a smile behind your hand. “I think Garcia’s office might be available?”

“If it isn’t I’m sure she’ll make it available. She owes me a favor since I let her eat all my Red Vines.”

“Do you even like Red Vines?” Spencer asked.

“That’s for me to know and Penelope Garcia never to find out,” you said, setting a quick pace towards her office.

Spencer had no trouble keeping up, his long legs tripping over themselves less than usual as he followed you. His body could never seem to decide whether it was going to have the grace of a gazelle or the clumsiness of a newborn foal, but today he strode with purpose across the less than pristine tiles of the Quantico floors.

You threw open the door to Garcia’s office without ceremony.

“Garcia we’re appropriating your office, leave now and do not breathe a word of this to anyone or I swear I will steal all of your candy until the end of time and also tell Hotch about that thing you texted me last week.”

Garcia froze in her desk chair. “You wouldn’t. Not the thing!”

“Yes. The thing. Now get out!” You gave her a stern look, then softened. “Please.”

“Alright, alright, it’s all yours. Just be quick about it why don’t you?” She poked her head back through the door even as she was closing it, neon headband a glaring indicator of her continued presence. “Oh, and also? I knew it!”

You could hear her cheering as she closed the door, and you groaned.

“So…you wanted to talk?” Spencer prompted.

“Ummm…yes.” You looked up at him, suddenly regretting your impulsive urge to tell him anything.

What had you been thinking?

He stepped closer to you, and for a minute your heart beat far faster than could possibly be healthy before he sat down in Garcia’s desk chair. The light of the computer monitor glinted off of his hair, and you got the overwhelming urge, not for the first time, to run your fingers through it. Taking this under consideration, you realized JJ was right. This was not a new thing. Truth be told you had been attracted to Spencer for forever and a day, you had just been…afraid. But if you could survive a near-death experience you could survive a little rejection, right?

“I’m going to say some very crazy things now very fast and I want you to listen before I lose my nerve. The truth is I was so nervous this morning because I was trying really, really hard not to kiss you and I was still definitely thinking about doing it. You have this like, aura about you, do you know that? Like, “hello, yes, I’m your friendly neighborhood sexy genius here to make your life harder by not only being smart and hot but also, to top it all off, nice!” Which is very rude of you, in case you were wondering. And so like, naturally I’ve had a crush on you since basically I met you, but then last night you were just…so good to me, and you’re just such a genuinely kind person, and it sort of hit me that I never want you not in my life? And then I woke up next to you this morning and I was like, ‘holy crap, I think I’m in love with him,” which I’m sure you realize was a very startling realization for me, and super not allowed with our jobs and everything, so…I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you and I’m really sorry about it.”

Spencer had been staring up at you with something that resembled awe as you made your way through your rushed confession, but when you finished, he smiled.

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” He stood from Penelope’s chair, stepping towards where you were leaning against her desk.

“Because that was all kind of fast and uncalled for and I know you don’t feel the same, so this was sort of a really crappy thing to do to you.”

He slipped a finger under your chin, tilting your head up to make you look at him. “How do you know I don’t feel the same?”

You could feel his warm breath on your face, brushing against your lips, and you fought the urge to kiss him once again.

“I just…assumed?”

“Well, you assumed wrong, because the second I realized there was a chance you might not be in my life because some psycho took you away, I also realized that I never wanted you not to be in my life. I wish I could explain it better, but I’ve never been very good with words that didn’t involve statistics or oddly specific information. You like Jane Austen, right?”

He knew, of course, that you did, because he knew everything you had ever told him about you. You nodded anyway though.

“’I cannot make speeches, Emma…If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.’”

You kissed him then, unable to resist it. Sunk your fingers into the twining grasp of his curls and tasted him, breath wild and heart running rampant. His hands wrapped around your waist dug into your hips and pulled you flush against him, where you stayed even after you broke off the kiss.

“Maybe it makes me selfish, but I want as much of this as I can get,” he whispered, paraphrasing his words from earlier.

“Okay,” you breathed, indulging your earlier thoughts. “Just kiss me, and I’ll forget everything. I’ll forgive you for every selfish sin you’ve ever committed if we can make this one of them.”

He did, kissing you hard and heavy, something frenzied to the way he held you like any moment now, something would try to rip you away.

“That’s what I wanted to say,” you murmured against his lips. “This morning, when you said that. That’s what I wanted to say.”

“I wish you had. Then I could have had this sooner.” His grip on you loosened, allowing him to pull away to smile softly at you.

“Yes, but we never would have made it out of my apartment,” you said casually, before slipping out of his grasp and out of Garcia’s office, a smug little grin on your face.

Spencer was left to watch you walk away, looking like the cat that ate the canary. It was going to be a long workday.

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” ― Jane Austen

[childotkw]

Hello there! I absolutely love your writing style, the way you describe things and put the reader in the characters' shoes while still being in control of how much the reader gets to know. Also, the characters and plots you create are absolutely mind blowing. Do you have any advice for an aspiring writer(for original work, not ff). Also, any original work of yours we should be looking forward to? Thank you! Don't be hesitant to say as much as you can, nothing's too small!

Hi there!

Firstly, thank you for saying that, it’s very sweet of you. I’ve always been a very descriptive writer, and I love writing complex and nuanced characters! It’s probably what I consider my strongest aspect in my writing - so to hear that is absolutely wonderful 😊😊

For writing an original work, I do have a few little tips and bits of advice, since I’m going through the process myself at the moment.

1) Just get it down.

This bit of advice was given to me recently by a certain someone, and I have to admit that it completely shifted my view on my writing. I have always been someone who pushed to have my first draft as close to perfect as I could get it. But so many times I would get bogged down and frustrated at this perception that I wasn’t allowed to have bad drafts. It’s honestly a ridiculous notion, and I’m a little embarrassed that I had to have it pointed out to me - but I had never considered it before. 

The editing process is there for a reason, after all. Its whole purpose is to smooth down your rough edges. What matters more is just getting your story out and written down. The more you complete, the more driven you will be to get to the end. The more forgiving you are - allowing yourself to make mistakes, to have plot holes and write ‘bad’ scenes and dialogue - the easier the overall process will be for you.

Get your first version done, then go back and nitpick. 

2) Have some idea where you’re going.

When writing original work, world building is a bit daunting - especially if you are creating a whole new world that is far removed from our own. While your first few drafts could and should have mistakes, it truly does help if you have some idea of where you’re going with your writing, and what the world your characters are inhabiting is like.

Having, at least partially, the universal rules of your world figured out in your head can take some stress off you, and keep you on track as you flail through writing your novel. But remember that you can always go back and change or add things in. So never beat yourself up for not planning out every little detail. 

3) No one is perfect, and neither are your characters.

When writing characters, it’s always a good idea to have a weakness for them in your head. Having a flaw doesn’t make your character bad. Flawed characters are compelling and relatable to read, and far easier to connect with. Personally, I always like character’s whose weakness can be perceived as strengths as well.

A leader that is smart and calculating - but who hesitates when they should be decisive.

A scientist that is endlessly curious and brilliant, but whose curiosity and drive pushes them over the brink into something horrible.

A mother that loves and is so utterly devoted to her children that she refuses to check their dangerous behaviours and is constantly unhappy because she doesn’t stop and think about herself.

I’ve written in depth about other topics as well though! If you want to check them out, they should be here.

As for original stories, I do have a couple in the works.

My main focus at the moment is called The Swell, and is a medieval high-fantasy novel about Tristan, the Prince of Binnol, Alden, an assassin and member of the Ravens, and Sena, a fire fae. They work together to protect their kingdom. I’ve posted about that one a lot, with even some snippets. Here.

But I’ve also toyed with something called Bound in Blood, which centres around a young man called Cal living in a world where society collapsed decades ago and humans are fighting for survival against dark creatures. Certain humans can enter into pacts with demons to gain powers, but it requires killing and consuming another human to do it. Cal is one such individual. Here. 

And the most recent one that is literally two days old is called Collar of Vines, which is about a young girl that wakes up in the ruins of a village with no memories and uncontrollable magical abilities. She goes on the run and ends up joining the resistance that are looking to overthrow the corrupt King and the treacherous Institute that trains magical children to be soldiers for the army. This girl is being hunted by one of the most dangerous magical Generals, who believes she had something to do with his twin brother’s mysterious death.