sehunsmuabrows

[kiaraalazulu]

Your opinion on Stryfewood, please :3

they make me feral but tbh I didn't ship them until I started trying to draw fanart and discovered I suck at drawing Vash so I just drew Meryl and Wolfwood together over and over until I realised how hot and how interesting their dynamics are

[nztsume]

• waiting for the big twenty-five •

homelander x you

{“Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

“It’s when your brain finishes developing.”, you replied, remembering the information from back in the day, when you were still trying to get your Psychology’s degree. “Your frontal cortex- the one in charge of your personality and all- it stops growing at around 25 years old.}

Even if you’re just kind of a glorified baby-sitter, you just want to see him happy - instead, you accidentally make him worse.

read on ao3

------

Hi yall!!! The voices won and I finally ended up starting to write the young homelander fic of my dreams where we find out how he ended up being the deranged insecure insane man we know and love!!

In this one, you're Madelyn Stilwell's niece who works at Vought- and have striken an unexpected soft spot for the company’s latest investment- this insecure, shy but sweet young hero called Homelander.

Enjoy!

• 1 •

July, 2005

Every single day, at exactly 5.30 a.m., Homelander was to be awoken by the smell of coffee on his kitchen table. The coffee had to be fresh, beans grinded that same morning, no sugar, no milk, no exceptions. To accompany it, he was to have his pills: two of creatin– for muscle growth, three of protein- to feed them, a weight gainer– so he would stop being so lanky, and an extra dose of vitamin D, to fight those pesky pimples guys his age still got sometimes. All of them should be in a small container, so he could swallow them at once with his first gulp.

Next to his coffee and his pills, he was to have a folder with any relevant document for the day- interviewer’s questions and the answers he was to give, profiles of important people he would meet, scripts for any ad he was to film. All of that, including his schedule for the day- except that was to be read to him by you. This is how Maddie had told you it had to be done, and how you’d done it since day one.

You looked at your wrist watch, holding his coffee on your hand- piping hot, just how you knew he liked it-  and you yawned, watching the thinnest clock hand go round it, as the last minute before you could walk into his apartment went by. 

Finally, it was 5.25, and you could already walk in- so you did. 

You weren’t exactly his maid- he had several of those, but none of them were to do anything to his apartment whenever he was around. He wasn’t to have much contact with the normal civilians, the normies- as Maddie called them. You preferred to reserve your opinions at that- your aunt had changed a lot since she had started working here. 

What you were was Maddie’s secretary- and Maddie was Mr. Edgar’s secretary- or something. There was a fancier title for that, but you couldn’t recall it. All you knew was that she was aiming for vice-CEO or something, as it was the only thing she talked about whenever she dragged you to a bar after office hours, and insisted on drinking glass after glass of whisky.

As you finished setting things up, you appreciated the result- his cup of coffee, his pills, his documents and ah, a special surprise. One big, obscene chocolate cupcake, the kind where the chocolate topping is so rich that it spills and drips all over, with one beautiful strawberry on top, and next to it, one single candle. You weren’t sure if chocolate was his favorite, but you knew he had a bit of a sweet tooth- so he’d appreciate it, at least some. 

Finally, you took out your red lighter and lit the candle- and less than twenty seconds later, you looked up- and there he was. 

"Good morning, John.”, you put the lighter back on your blazer’s pocket, smiling at him. 

He blinked- eyes still not fully alert, as he scratched them. They were boring holes into the chocolate cupcake, and you couldn’t help to smirk a little- you knew he’d be interested in it. 

“Is that for me?”, he asked, surprised, almost like a child- and you laughed. Ever since you’d met him, about five or six months ago now, you’d felt like he was younger than his actual age- there was something about the way he stood in the middle of his own massive penthouse, like a kid lost in a big, elegant furniture showroom. Alone, quiet and shy, even when wearing his own super suit. It didn’t help that it was actually way too big for one person, with its tall, tall roofs, marble everything and sleek furniture- much less for an overworked twenty-something with no time for a social life.  

“Of course.”, you assured him. “It’s your birthday after all, right? Happy 24th!”

He pressed his lips awkwardly, trying to contain a smile- but that didn’t work, as he let out a laugh, and finally came to the kitchen island, almost a skip on his step. You couldn’t help to be glad- finally this kid was getting some happiness in him.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome.”, you said, sarcastically, as he went to town on the cupcake, taking big bites out of it. He stopped for a second mid-bite, mouth full of chocolate, to look at you with a smile- and there was a gleeful glint in his eyes. Actually, that was enough of a thank for you. Anything that made that perpetual sadness that he always seemed to hold go away, even for just a few minutes, was worth it. You laughed at him. “Okay- just go for it. But don’t forget your pills!” 

“I can’t believe it- this tastes so good!”, he finally said, after taking another bite- in less than thirty seconds he had eaten half of it. Unbelievable! “Best birthday gift ever!”

“Oh- shush.”, you crossed your arms, leaning back against the counter, watching him take a big gulp of coffee. “Just wait until you see what Maddie has gotten you- it’ll blow your mind.”

“I don’t think it’ll be better than having chocolate as breakfast.”- he set the last bite of the cupcake aside, finally taking the pill container, and eyeing them with disgust. You sighed- perhaps if they let the kid eat his breakfast he wouldn’t need those nasty pills- it wasn’t like he wasn’t going to burn it off in the training center literally thirty minutes later. You didn’t know much about supe genetics, but they couldn’t be too different from normal people’s, right?

You yawned again, this time covering your mouth to the side, as you let him have the rest of the cupcake and his coffee. You liked to give him some minutes of silence so he could enjoy it properly- you knew that that’s how you liked it when you had yours.

This morning in particular, you just wished you had gotten to drink your coffee alone- but your fiance was just arriving from a shift at the E.R., and you had to deal with his graphic description of a dick that had been cut in half by a broken wine glass. You were still trying to forget about it. At least you lived close enough to Vought- just a ten minute subway trip away - so you didn’t have to wake up much earlier than that. It was just lucky you knew how to do your make-up on the move, another time-saving skill you’d learnt in your college years. 

You heard him drinking the last of his coffee- doing that big slurp noise he always did, and you finally decided to take the document with his schedule- ready to tell him about his day. 

He was tired -he always was, but today he seemed particularly so, even behind the hint of a smile the cupcake had left him with. You could tell by his posture under those cheesy button up burgundy silk pajamas, shoulders too slumped, hips rested against the counter. You weren’t surprised- according to Maddie, ever since they’d debuted him close to two years ago to the public, he’d been worked non-stop. It was only time until he broke, you thought- but you could never say it to her. Your aunt had always been too good at pushing people further than they could reach, and too good at seeing only ahead of her; John was just another one of her subjects. 

“Alright”, you finally said, seeing the subtle move of his shoulders straightening at your voice, “Ready to hear about your day, birthday boy?”

He groaned in response, the hint of his smile completely being wiped away, “I guess…”

You pressed a smile for him, but mentally frowned reading over his schedule- he was packed, of course. “What’s that? Not excited about being 24?”, they’d even put an interview right after his birthday celebration- his 1 hour long birthday celebration. They as in Maddie and Mr. Edgar. “Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

“It’s when your brain finishes developing.”, you replied, remembering the information from back in the day, when you were still trying to get your Psychology’s degree. “Your frontal cortex- the one in charge of your personality and all- it stops growing at around 25 years old. So you get only one more year of acting like a dumbass without people holding it against you.”, you added that last one joke to make him laugh- it worked. He wasn’t used to people throwing curse words around him. “Congrats!” 

“Just one more year, huh?”, he said, more seriously than you expected. “That’s kind of sad.”

“No way- it’s great.” you shook your head, “After 25… it’s like your brain rewires. You’re not embarrassed anymore, you get some self-esteem back from when you were a kid.”, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, remembering how stupidly shy you were back when you were his age. It wasn’t that long ago, really, just four years- but it felt like another lifetime, somehow. “10 out of 10, if you ask me. Anyway–”, you gave one more sigh, before turning your attention back to him, “Let me tell you about your day. So- it officially starts at 9.10 where you- oh. I didn’t know this. You’re getting a new suit!”

His eyebrows rose, “I thought that wasn’t until September.” 

“Hmm, maybe they wanted to launch it at today’s park inauguration for your birthday- which is at around 11.30, by the way. So you get your suit fitted and all, then it’s an one hour drive, and then the inauguration. After that, lunch, and after…”, she frowned. “You have to have tea with- with Margaret Pataki and her friends ...?” , no way they were making the kid spend his birthday with a bunch of rich old ladies that wanted to get in his pants. You couldn’t believe Maddie. What in the world could have they offered your aunt to get the privilege of The Homelander’ s time on his birthday? Unbelievable.  You huffed. “Well… too bad you have your weekly marketing meeting. You’ll have to miss it.”

“I thought that wasn’t until Thursday.”, he frowned, but there was a hint of relief behind his confusion. 

“It’s not-”, you shot a look at him, “But you should get to rest for a couple hours on your birthday, don’t ya?”, you winked at him- and then moved on, before he could protest any further. Better not to think about it too much, or you’d get extremely mad at your aunt. “And then… your birthday celebration!”

“You’re coming, right?”

You looked up from the paper, surprised at his sudden intensity as he cut you off. You found those crystal blue eyes boring at you- like you were another cupcake, expectating of your reply.

“ ‘Course.”, you simply smiled- surprisingly secretly pleased. You liked him- he was a nice guy, behind all the pizzazz that Vought put him through in front of the cameras. Perhaps too nice, in your opinion- there was some trauma somewhere in there, you could tell. But you didn’t weren’t close enough to him to recommend therapy or something, although you had suggested it to Maddie… who obviously shrieked at the thought of their golden child going to the shrink. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Johnny.” 

“Thank god-”, he sighed, rolling his eyes in sass, “If I have to deal with Stan or Madelyn or any of the other old farts there by myself, I’ll laser my own foot.” 

This made you laugh. It always surprised you whenever he showed a bit of bite, as it seemed like whenever he was with Maddie or Edgar, he seemed like the best behaved pupil in the boarding school- and whenever he was in front of the public, he was an absolute boy-scout. “Oh- come on. I’m sure Noir’s gonna be there too. I’m not your only friend here, you know?” She hoped so, at least. John seemed to like Black Noir, although his presence in the Vought building was far and apart, since they hadn’t officially re-debuted him under the company’s name yet.

He shot you one last skeptical look before taking the folder with the rest of the documents- this was your dismissal, and you took it. It was ten to six, and he had to be in the training center soon. 

“Anyway- I’ll take my leave. Maddie’s probably sent me my tasks for the day already.”, you heard a low distracted hum coming from him, already walking to the door. Before you left, you peeked at him one last time, before saying: “Happy birthday.”

He looked up just as you waved, and there was a hint of a smile in his face- good. You smiled back, and finally, slammed the door closed.

 

-

 

When you worked at Vought- more specifically, in their superhero division, every single day felt like standing in the middle of the sea during a storm- wave after wave of issues and tasks coming at you, suffocating you at times. Truth be told, you weren’t supposed to be working there- you were far too unqualified, both emotionally and academically. 

When your aunt Maddie had found out about your mother’s disease, she, of course, had refused to help her. She had always been resentful at how resentful your mom had been of her, at how she had chosen a professional life path while your mom chose to have you at just seventeen, dropping out of school to form a family. Just your average sisters’ feud, splashed with just a bit of new wave feminism and abandonment issues. However, knowing you had dropped out of college, Maddie was kind enough to offer you a job in her workplace- none other than Vought Enterprises. Big shot shit. 

She had told you that she wouldn’t make any promises, she wouldn’t work with you, and she wouldn’t slide you in with the big supes, where she worked. She had hustled her ass off to be where she was- she wouldn’t let your wormy little self run on the path she had so laboriously paved. You were okay with that- any corporation job would pay more than what you were doing in the dingy bar downtown where you’d been working since you dropped off college. Besides, you knew your aunt had never been all there- the love-hate she always showed you wasn’t personal, it was just a thing she did.

It didn’t help that you weren’t even more than seven years younger than her, so a lot of your childhood memories involved playing with her teen self. She was more a cousin than an aunt, to be fair. So there were a lot of things you could easily let slide- her insane mood swings was one of them. You knew she meant well- behind all of her power plays and degradation.

Either way, that didn’t end up happening- you working for a less important division, like pharmacy. As soon as she suggested Mr. Edgar to give you a job he was into the idea- he liked to keep things between family. And in hindsight, it was understandable. The things that happened behind the scenes for supes weren’t half as glamorous or exciting as they seemed to be on camera.

This morning had been particularly busy, the waves of work slowly turning into a tsunami, as Homelander’s birthday was a top priority for the entire department. He was the star, after all- had been for almost three years now. He was Vought’s face and voice, their personality. The bright eyed, all-american, charming, strongest to ever exist superhero. America turned into the shape of a man. Everything they’d ever dreamed, they were training into this twenty-something-year-old. Any excuse to celebrate him was good enough for them- because it was as if they were celebrating Vought itself.

That’s why you’d been running all over New York the entire morning. The tailor had managed to mismeasure John’s shoulders, somehow, and they needed two more of the handmade eagle feather golden shapes that went… well, you didn’t know where they went. You had only gotten the gist of it, along with a brown envelope to take to the goldsmith- any goldsmith that would get them done before 11.30 a.m., when Homelander was supposed to debut his new suit to the world, to mark a new era or something.

Luckily, it was 11 sharp as you ran through Vought’s main hall’s doors, and 11.04 as you knocked the costume division’s door on the 45th floor. You were breathless, knowing that he had to be on the other side of the city, to Fort Lee in less than half an hour- although seeing how tight they were, he was probably going to fly to the inauguration. The city council had granted him his very own children’s park after he’d saved a school bus from sinking into the Hudson a month ago, and they had chosen to inaugurate it the very day of his birthday. As if he had nothing else to do on that day.

Maddie opened the door, blonde waves all over the place, breath ragged. You knew the signs, she had been yelling at someone- and you were lucky it wasn’t you. You saw a flash of dark blue somewhere in the background and you knew it was John- and your curiosity was piqued. Would the new suit be too different? At least it seemed they’d keep his colors. 

“Where are they?”, your aunt demanded.

Wordlessly, you took out a fancy necklace case out of the bag you were holding, “I had to find a different place- our goldsmith was taking too long to decide whether he could do them or in time or not.”, you explained, as she snatched it off your hands and opened to inspect them. While she did that, you subtly went on your tippy-toes, trying to catch the new suit without her knowing. “I think they look just like the mold-so…” 

“Perfect.”, she concluded, slamming it closed, and she took one look at you, with those severe eyes of hers. “Go to the 72th. They need help with the party.” 

After that, she slammed the door on your face. Oh well- you’d see it later, hopefully. 

 

—

 

The 72th was a mess- as it always was, since it was the floor where most Vought only parties were held, the ones no outsiders should know about. Before, you would have thought that that meant something sexual- perhaps some sort of massive over the top superhero and congressmen orgy, the kind conspiracy theorists would talk about- but soon you found out it was not the case. Rather- it was the kind of party where millionaires would get drunk and discuss whether bombing another South Asian country would make them profits or not. You didn’t know which of the two types of parties were worse.

This time, though, at least the purpose of the preparations was much more innocent- just a small party for every person in Homelander’s life to celebrate him and his birthday. It was kind of impressive so many people showed up, in your opinion. It was the 4th of July, after all- most everyone would choose to celebrate it with their families at the park- or even just watch the fireworks from their TV at home. Instead, about twenty or more people were there, running around with you- decorating, inflating balloons, making every cookie in the dish look beautiful and photogenic. All for him- everyone wanted him to be pleased. You were sure that as long as he was allowed to eat enough of them, he’d be just as happy. 

One thing you ended up noticing about the attendees was the variety, or more like, the lack of thereof. Most people there were some of Vought’s scientists, the ones you only knew of by their pictures on the Vought’s Best wall. You wondered what they had to do with Homelander, or if they were there just for protocol. Maybe these were the kind of people Edgar wanted him to surround himself with. Important people- people who did good for humanity. 

And no, no Black Noir to be found.

Interestingly enough, even they were helping with the organization. Perhaps they were close, you wouldn’t know. You didn’t know much about John’s past aside from what you’d figured out by yourself- and what the public knew. 

Either way, he was about to arrive, and you were to get Maddie’s gift ready for him. The box was a bit too big for it- but it needed the space, you guessed. You just wondered if the box was necessary at all. 

Somebody heard the elevator sound starting to ding up- and began shushing everyone, as they started crowding around the room, hiding the big table with the cake and different foods that they had set up in the middle of the room behind them. You, of course, didn’t want to steal any spotlight from someone who could actually be important to him, so you placed yourself to the side, excited for him to arrive. You knew he was going to love this; he loved attention- even affection, as much as he tried to hide it.

The elevator finally dinged on their floor, and the doors opened, and-...

“Happy birthday!”, everyone shouted- only for Maddie to come out, her heels clicking as she saw on her that particular face she made when she scolded someone- her words drowned by their scream. Everyone made a confused noise- wasn’t it supposed to be…?

Then- a massive spot of blue walked in- a young man with wide shoulders, an unhesitant stroll and perfectly coiffed blonde hair- clad in an imposing red and blue suit. Homelander.

You began singing Happy Birthday- loudly, completely drowning everyone’s confusion and whatever Maddie was nagging the young supe about- and everyone was super quick to join. And you had the pleasure to see John’s face go from a slight frown to a bright expression- as everyone sang for him- claps and even stomps to go with it. 

But… there was something off in his smile as he started recognizing the faces around him. You saw his eyes go through every person in the room with a strange restraint- like he was holding back something. Then- they fell on you, and they stayed there, somehow, it seemed that it made that off feeling fade off. You clapped and sang more excitedly.

“Happy birthday, dear… John-Homelan-Johnny !”, everyone laughed, as nobody quite knew how to address him, “Happy birthday to you!” 

You saw him laugh- eyes looking around in surprise at the decorations. Everything was red, white and blue- with lots of golden details, that had been your touch. They were the expensive kind, but anyone could tell they weren’t set by professionals. You thought it added a homey touch that he’d enjoy- and he did, as he quite didn’t know what to do with himself, with his hands, as everyone clapped and whistled for him. 

“Oh-!”, he finally said, “Thank you- thank you, guys!”, he was trying to play it cool, calming them awkwardly. 

After that, the short event officially started. The attendees started mingling amongst each other, coming up in groups at times to talk to John, who seemed more interested on whatever was going on on the food table. You had caught him eyeing it from time to time whenever he was left alone for a second or two, as if he was deciding whether he could have a treat or not .

Meanwhile, you were busy guarding Maddie’s gift- which was secretly the only reason you were here at all. Not by your own volition, of course- you’d obviously come to John’s party if it was up to you. But… somehow, you felt that without your aunt’s express invitation it would have created problems for you. Sometimes it felt like Maddie got insanely possessive of the kid- as if anyone could come and snatch him away from under her management and steal her progress doing that. You didn’t quite know- all you really knew is that whenever you made a small observation, offered a small detail you’d noticed about him, she responded incredibly bad.

It wasn’t too bad, though. At least you were saving yourself from awkward conversations with strangers- plus, sometimes John caught your eyes and smiled at you. He had even tried to make his way to you a couple times, always interrupted by a new group of people who called for his attention.

He looked good in his new suit, you had to admit. A far cry from the leotardish one-piece he had before- that only worked to accentuate his still teensy physique, still too skinny and lanky for what he was supposed to be Edgar’s final vision of him- this new suit was magnificent. It looked like it was a two piece, for once- which he was probably thankful for- held by a strong golden (gold?) belt, and a high collar, covering just enough of his neck to draw attention to the slight v line it formed. He had some padding, she knew that- but it was just enough, not to transform his actual size, but to accentuate it. He looked more mature, more secure in his skin, and it showed - even if just a little bit.

Either way, you could hear her gift getting more and more agitated by the minute- so it was a relief when you heard her voice loud, commanding everyone’s attention.

“Let’s open your gifts, John.” Maddie said, coming up from behind and slapping a hand on his shoulder, making him jump a little. 

The party moved to the gifts table, where a small pile laid. You dutifully took the box you’d been guarding on the corner of the room and started walking it by it with a bit of difficulty, mostly because it kept moving all over the surface- but also because it was making your nose itch.

By the time you had gotten there, John had already started opening some of his gifts. Someone got him an insanely expensive wine you knew he wasn’t even going to try, and someone else a piece of pottery. It was hard to make someone like him a gift- what could you even get someone who could have anything? Not that John ever asked for anything, though. But he could- and everyone was aware of that. Vought made sure they were.

As soon as Maddie saw you with the box, she took it from your hands and walked up to him- and the second he turned to it, his face illuminated. 

“A dog?!”, he took it from her almost immediately, sitting on the floor with it on his lap- hands fighting to open the wrapping as soon as he was settled. 

“Oh John!”, Maddie scoffed, annoyed, “You spoiled it for everyone else!”

He didn’t seem to hear her though- entranced on the unwrapping, and you couldn’t help to hold your hands together on your chest, excited with anticipation. You were sure he was going to love it.

And as soon as the little guy jumped from inside the box- you know he did.

“Oh, lord!”, he exclaimed, as the small dog started barking and twisting in his grasp- as excited to see him as he was, its tiny tail wagging so hard it was moving its entire little body with it. “Oh, my god!”

The dog, a small Jack Russel with a big, brown spot over one of his eyes, barked excitedly, and you were sure you could see John’s eyes shining with tears, sat on the floor while everyone else aww’d at them. You could tell that- for once- he had forgotten about the people around him, as he let the puppy jump on his legs, on his chest, licking his face, sat back on his hands, as if he was stopping himself from squeezing the little thing. He was happy, so happy , and the dog was too.

“I can’t believe it!”, he gasped, again, as he finally decided he needed to pet it, getting rid of the thick gloves that his new suit had, grabbing it with both hands. The puppy barked at him, tongue out, and a laugh escaped from his mouth. “You’re the cutest thing I’ve seen in my life !”

The puppy wriggled its way out of his grasp, and jumped at his face again, licking him- and everyone aww’d once again and clapped. You finally unglued your eyes from the adorable scene to your aunt- and she looked incredibly pleased with herself. You would be too, this was probably the first time you’ve seen him actively elated.

Suddenly, she was startled by something- and you saw her hand going to her blazer’s pocket, picking her cellphone in a second. As she walked away with it, you took a step closer to him- and he turned to you.

“Did you know about this!?”, he asked, incredulous, fighting against the dog’s excited licks, “I can’t believe it!”

You couldn’t help the smile on your lips as you saw him. “Obviously. I went to pick him with her!” you crossed your arms over your chest- still remembering the horrors of the testing lab you’d gone get the poor dog from. It had been a month ago, and the dog had stayed with Maddie until now, ���He was not the youngest puppy in the uh- adoption center but…”

“Shush, he’s perfect.”, he interrupted you, holding it to his chest, and turning to you, “What’s his name?”

“I’m not sure actually-”, you turned towards where your aunt had left- and you saw her smiling into the phone, a small skip on her step- and you knew that body language. She was sucking up to someone on the other end of the line. “We could ask Maddie if she named him when she comes back.”

But as you said that, Maddie actually came back- almost running in the short steps her heels allowed.

“Let's get this over with”, she whispered to you, as she walked by you taking over the center of the small round that Had formed around him, “Hey, everyone! Let's cut the cake!”

Everyone agreed happily- but you frowned, running to follow her as she went to the food table, already starting to make space for it. You knew that this was supposed to come at the end of the party, but not even half an hour had gone by yet- what was she doing?

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw John's eyes shoot from you to her to Edgar, as he as well tried to figure out what was going on.

“Maddie-”

“Seems like his birthday interview got delayed a couple hours”, she whispered to you excitedly, almost like a secret, “Guess who'll get to make up for his fatal mistake of not seeing Mrs. Pataki and her friends!”

A sense of disgust immediately took over your stomach, as you realized why she was so happy. She was making John spend time with those women after all- she was going to get him to butter them up for Vought On his own fucking birthday. 

“Go help with the cake.”

You felt sick.

Behind you, you heard John approach and Madelyn’s arm immediately shoot to get a hold of his forearm and guide him to the center of the table, the dog still in his arms.

Suddenly, a lot of things started happening simultaneously. Edgar was on the scene now, - a cameraman that you’d seen wandering about the event next to him - finally caring about this party at all, as he seemed to be giving him directions about how to encapsulate the happy event. 

Maddie, on the other hand, stood next to Homelander- whose eyes seemed far, as he heard whatever she was telling him, his lips pressing in some sort of emotion you didn’t have time to figure out, eyes looking far away from the scene unfolding. You got closer, as you started fixing the cake decorations, and got to hear some of it.

“And you'll show off your fucking new suit and tell her ‘ You like it, Margie?’ like she's the woman of your dreams, okay? She needs to go home and tell Pataki that Vought's doing great things while she considers divorcing his ass. You need to make up for the time you made her lose, John.” she was instructing right next to his ear, and he seemed more out of it by the second, “You'll be so fucking sorry to her she won't doubt for a second that you made a honest mistake with your schedule.” 

People started gathering as well- their loud chatter surrounding them like a massive beehive, buzzing so close to the table it was even starting to make you dizzy and desperate, as you fought to make one of the star decorations stay up. One of the scientists came up to you with a lighter, offering to turn the single candle on and you nodded, mindlessly as your focus kept shifting to him, and the way his gaze dissociated more and more- and you were actually worried now. You’d never seen him like this, not this badly. 

“Homelander!”, Edgar called, his serious nasal voice adding a new layer to the buzz, just like the scientist's lighter he couldn't get lit on. “Move one step to the left and turn a little, the lighting's bad there!”

“Seriously - apologize like a fucking dog, you hear?”

“Fuck”, you cursed under your breath- snatching the lighter yourself and trying- getting to turn on.

The camera started snapping- and it added another layer. A group laughed loudly in the background. Edgar kept giving needless instruction. The dog started wriggling, running out of his grasp. Madelyn kept barking into his ear.

“You'll lick her feet- and…”

And you could almost hear it before it happened. 

“Madelyn, I fucking GET it !”

The loud high sound- the sound his lasers made.

The crowd gasped, shocked- but more importantly, the dog started fucking screaming in pain.

“Oh- no!”

Someone screamed- and all hell broke loose. John ran from the table to the side- where his laser had left a dark, charred line that ended with… with the poor puppy laying on the floor, bleeding and crying. You ran after him.

“Oh no- no, no, no, no…”, he was on his knees, and you fell next to him as he whispered the words to himself, holding the poor thing as it wriggled, its loud shrieks vibrating in your ears. His hands were starting to get covered in blood, and its fur was so bloody- flesh so mangled you couldn't make sense of any of it. “No- please !”

You were speechless, shocked, and the blood was draining from your face by the second. “It was an accident!”, you were immediate to comfort him, but his eyes were glued to the animal- unable to think, to do anything, “It was an accident, John, and-and…”

You looked around- but nobody thought like you- nobody else was stepping up to comfort him. Instead, everyone stared in… fright , taking fearful steps away from the scene like he was a monster- and that made you so insanely mad.

“I-I killed him!”, he exclaimed in horror. “Oh, God, I fucking killed him!”

“ No, you didn't! ”, your hands went to his shoulders, shaking him a little as his eyes filled up with tears- and your heart was going a mile a minute, “He's crying ! He's still alive!”

“N-no, no, I-”

“John!”, Maddie’s voice shouted- and you looked up to see her walking to you, angry, as she got out of her shock, “What the hell was that?! Are you insane?! Are you retarded ?!”

He turned slightly to her, eyes full of tears and remorse and pain- and you couldn't take it anymore.

You stood up like a spring and took a step between them.

“Madelyn!”, you looked at her in the eyes, heart still drumming, “ Are you fucking serious?!”

You saw her eyes widen and her mouth fall open.

She started sputtering your name, visibly shaken. You'd never ever had spoken like this to her. She was always the one that was right, the one whose decisions just weren't questioned.

“Y-you stay out of this!”, she finally managed, and tried to push you to the side- but you slapped her hand away.

“No, I won't! Not this fucking time, Aunt Maddie.” you stood your ground, stomping a foot.

There was a rage in you burning- and you instantly realized this wasn't just about this, right now. This was a rage that had been slowly burning- building up these last six months as you'd witnessed how they treated this kid, how they exploited every single second of his time. How tight his leash was. How simply sad and alone he looked all the time.

It had been burning since your mother had been diagnosed with that heart condition- and how ironically heartless her sister had been to her. How she'd offered you the job the same way someone offers leftovers to a starving stray dog, and how you had to swallow your dignity and take them.

It had been burning, you'd even say, after the first day Maddie had started this fucking job, and how she blew you off when you went to her apartment with a cake you'd made her to celebrate it- saying she had coworkers over and she couldn't deal with a child like you here, too, as if they were too important for you to even see them.

She growled your name one last time, “You're about to lose your job.”

“Then fucking do it, Maddie.”, you hissed back, feeling venom in your voice, “Fire me. Fire me! Who wants to work in a company that depends on how much they can exploit some twenty-year-old, anyway? Oh, but the second he makes one mistake you all look at him like he's a monster, right?!”

You couldn't help to turn around, including everyone in your rant now- every single person that was important in John’s life, who was looking at him like he was going to laser them next. Him, who was still holding onto the crying puppy, hands drenched in his blood.

“Don't look at him like that! God- look at him ! He didn't do it on purpose! You all pushed him to do it!”

You felt frustration building in you- as your eyes started to burn as well, angry. No, you couldn't let yourself cry, you needed to speak up!

You saw Maddie about to say something else when someone took a step forward- Mr. Edgar.

“Okay, okay everyone…” he had his hands raised up, voice infuriatingly calming and imposing. “Let’s calm down. You-”, he pointed at a random woman, who jumped at his calling, “Take the dog to the fifteenth, there must be a vet somewhere there.”

The woman quickly stepped forward- a middle aged with a messy bun hanging off of her head- arms in front of her, ready to take the still wailing dog from John while putting the most distance from him she could. Your eyes followed the movement as he extended the creature to her- his hands still shaking. For some reason, as this happened, you felt absolutely insane- like you were some schizoid character In a movie, and everyone else was just watching your crazy rants unfold. 

“And you- miss… Stilwell?”, he continued, turning to you- and as you shook your head (you didn't share your aunt’s last name, thank you ), he held a hand up, like he didn't actually care about that, “Why don't you take Homelander here home? He's still a bit shaken.”

And you're the only one here not afraid of his lasers, seemed to be the tacit rest of his request. 

At that, you stood straighter, facing him as a bitter bile pooled in your throat - desperate to keep jawing off about all you've been keeping, seeing these last months, about every single thing that they'd knowingly been doing to him- but you held back for him. Edgar was right, he needed to get away from this,  he needed some peace- and perhaps not to have to spend his birthday with some old lady who would be pawing at him all night. 

You swallowed it and nodded at him, chest still out and shoulders squared, like you were a shield and shot one last look at Maddie.

She was boring holes into you- mouth in a thin line, dark blue eyes unblinking in anger, hands fisted to her sides. You knew that look, your mother had been the end of it one too many times. But unlike her, you did not relent- and Maddie should better get used to it.

Then, you simply turned, falling to a kneel once again, as you grabbed his shoulder. His eyes were on you as well, those clear blue eyes, still watery, still shaking. His hands were drenched in blood, as was the rest of his new suit- he looked so small in that moment, so scared.

“John?”, you let your voice fall into a soft tone. At your call, his eyes tuned into an emotion you couldn't quite decipher- aside from intense gratefulness, “Let’s go home.”

[jjungkookislife]

Quarterly Fic Recs 2024: #2

Hello! It's that time again (I feel like this past quarter flew by! I enjoyed these fics these past few months, and I hope you'll enjoy them too! Please consider reblogging fics you enjoyed to share them with others! I love finding new fics to read! :)

Seokjin

the leather loafers @jimlingss

summary: Yes. You went to the ball. Yes. You ran into the prince. Yes. The shoe fits. BUT-! You aren't that Cinderella bitch. THEY'VE GOT THE WRONG PERSON!

into the rush @minisugakoobies

summary: When your best friend Taehyung tells you he has the perfect thing to help you get over a broken heart, you’re surprised to learn he means dodgeball, the beloved game of sociopathic gym teachers everywhere. But even more surprising is the way you find comfort in the game, and so much more, as you fall into the rush with the help of another teammate - his brother, Seokjin.

Yoongi

tiger layer @kth1

summary: You are here to serve your king. In any way he pleases.

minis: july 1874 @hobidreams

summary: time goes on, and so does your love stretch and grow alongside it.

sunder @sailoryooons

summary: Sunder (sun·​der) transitive verb : to break apart or in two : to separate by or as if by violence or by intervening time or space

Hoseok

in good hands @/minisugakoobies

summary: Once again, another partner has left you feeling unsatisfied. Maybe it’s time to call in an expert. Don’t worry, Hoseok knows exactly what you need.

Namjoon

none :(

Jimin

delicate @/gimmethatagustd

summary: After months of not talking to each other, Taehyung thinks he can charm his way into your life again. Thankfully, Jimin is there to help you work through your feelings.

Taehyung

only here to sin @/gimmethatagustd

summary: When your genius of a boyfriend returns to Harvard for his sophomore year of college, you never would have expected to have his worst enemy keeping you entertained in his absence.

Jungkook

valentine vixen @bunnyhugs77

stripper reader! x rich! jungkook

supercharged @btsmosphere

summary: It starts with a blow to the chest that changes your life. When your city’s most celebrated hero pays a visit, it turns out the noble Bolt has no trouble tossing lives aside. Lives that won’t be missed. Lives like yours. Seven mysterious and powerful men give you another chance – one that starts to feel more like a curse the moment you meet golden boy Jungkook. The boy who wants you as far from his brothers as he can get you. Is it you he hates, or the blue lightning that now runs through your veins? And could it be his golden light that illuminates your heart when darkness threatens?

fan identity [SMAU] @tteokggukk

summary: in which you and jungkook are both famous internet celebrities that have never interacted, but share a common secret. you both have fan accounts for each other where you actively show support and express your opinions. one day, you were both nominated for the same award, social media influencer of the year. lowkey rooting for the other, you both express your opinions on your secret fan accounts as certain interactions begin to arise from a famous fan account dedicated to your “opponent” nominee.

closer @sweetestofchaos

summary: being close to you is still not close enough

OT7/Multiple Members

dirty, dirty boy @gimmethatagustd

summary: For Taehyung, the only revenge sweeter than fucking Namjoon’s girlfriend behind his back is fucking Namjoon from the back.

s

Namjoon

bf snapchats @secretsecretbunny

Jungkook

supercharged @btsmosphere

summary: It starts with a blow to the chest that changes your life. When your city’s most celebrated hero pays a visit, it turns out the noble Bolt has no trouble tossing lives aside. Lives that won’t be missed. Lives like yours. Seven mysterious and powerful men give you another chance – one that starts to feel more like a curse the moment you meet golden boy Jungkook. The boy who wants you as far from his brothers as he can get you. Is it you he hates, or the blue lightning that now runs through your veins? And could it be his golden light that illuminates your heart when darkness threatens?

Seokjin

day six [corruption kink] @euphoricfilter

gf gives him a blowjob @sugarlywhispers

slithered from Eden @aphrodijin

summary: in which your new lover is probably a fairy or a vampire, you’re not sure. all you know is that he’s too beautiful to be human, to be even real at all.

i hate u, i love u @jeonbunnie

summary: If loving Jin is wrong, you don’t wanna be right.

this is us @btsgotjams27

alternate timeline

Yoongi

yours to keep @ugh-yoongi

established relationship au

twelve @sailoryooons

summary: When the red string of fate appears around your ankle, you have twelve days to find your fated partner or die. That’s how the spell works - that’s how fate has always run Her business. There is one, very inconvenient witch who keeps getting in your way, though, and you might just kill each other before your mark does.

pull it harder @multicitrus

summary: Yoongi has a slight hair-pulling kink.

every little thing @7ndipity

summary: When you overhear Yoongi talking about how clingy you’ve been lately, you decide to take a step back from your friendship to give him space. But your sudden absence goes far from unnoticed by him.

silk touch @jjkwifestyle

summary: where yoongi's touch drives you mad.

wishes and kisses @95rkives

summary: sneaking into his studio with burnt homemade cupcakes to celebrate his birthday.

boyfriend yoongi @perfectlyoongi

always, us @katnisspeetaprim

Hoseok

scary good @7ndipity

summary: A spooky movie and needy Hobi? You couldn’t imagine a better way to spend Halloween.

hoseok drabble @dirtybtssnaps

fuck around and...? @kooksbunnnn

summary: Being neglected can bring out the brat inside you, little do you know that he loves to be the brat tamer.

retribution @kpopfanfictrash

Namjoon

the morning after @7ndipity

summary: Namjoon’s reaction to you waking up sore after a night together.

needy @likeastarstar

he's a munch @kooktrash

established relationship

doom boy @soft4gguk

Jimin

prompt drabble @jl-micasea-fics

gf gives him a blowjob @sugarlywhispers

I'm here sweetheart @folkookie97

summary: Jimin comforts his wife during her crying spell.

i promise i'll say yes @taetaespeaches

Taehyung

the one with the hall pass @eoieopda

summary: you and your boyfriend have everything important in common — especially your taste in men.

taehyung drabble @euphorajeon

ride with me @theharrowing

summary: While on location for Taehyung’s driving vlog, he shuts the camera off to make a confession.

it's definitely you @pt2change

baby @minisugakoobies

summary: It’s just another Saturday night out, drinking with your favorite people, trying to pretend that you’re not completely in love with your best friend.

fireworks ^

summary: Taehyung knows exactly why he doesn’t remember last year’s fireworks.

Jungkook

paradise @minisugakoobies

summary: That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!

naked @btsgotjams27

summary: You’re selfish when it comes to him. He wants more, but you won’t let him.

late night calls @bangtaninborderland

summary: you get a call from Jungkook at 7am, struck with worry you pick up only to find your adorably tired boyfriend.

OT7/Multiple Members

carnival of terror ch. 4 @theharrowing

summary: The carnival is in town, and it is unlike anything you have ever experienced. Will you make it out alive?

the one with the hall pass pt. 2 @eoieopda

summary: you and your boyfriend have everything important in common — especially your taste in men.

[werepuppy-steve]

strawberry wine

real life has got me feeling stressed and uncertain so, naturally, i started thinking about a previous fic, which can also be read here

The kitchen’s dark, save for the light above the sink. Steve is elbow deep in soapy dish water when the radio on the china hutch behind him clicks on, a soft country ballad trickling into the quiet space. Arms wrap around his waist and Steve huffs a laugh as he reaches for the dish rag to dry his hands.

He turns in Eddie’s arms and is met with an expression that’s so open and full of love. It still catches Steve off guard sometimes, still not used to being loved by someone who proudly shows all of his emotions on his sleeve.

Eddie takes Steve’s hand in his as they sway in the dim light. Steve buries his face in Eddie’s shoulder and closes his eyes, letting him take the lead.

I still remember

When thirty was old

My biggest fear was September

When he had to go

The lyrics are like an arrow in Steve’s stomach. He grips Eddie’s shoulder tighter and presses closer to him as they continue to sway in the slow circle. Eddie just rubs a soothing hand up and down his back.

A few cards and letters

And one long distance call

We drifted away

Like the leaves in the fall

Doesn’t mention the tears seeping through his shirt or the way Steve’s shoulders wrack with silent sobs. Eddie presses a kiss above his hair and holds him tighter while he croons softly.

Strawberry wine and seventeen

The hot July moon, saw everything

My first taste of love

Whoa, bittersweet

“I don’t want you to go,” Steve admits against his shoulder, feeling a bit like a child throwing a tantrum. He thinks he’s allowed to be a little selfish when it feels like his whole world is being ripped away from him.

Robin’s transferring her community college credits to a state school after her gap year ends and the kids are a month away from graduation and starting their own college journeys.

Corroded Coffin’s been noticed. Their gigs at The Hideout have been growing ever since Eddie’s name was cleared and the murder charges were dropped and there was an actual scout at their last one. Talked to the band and showed them a pretty picture of fame and fortune.

And a way out of this cursed town.

And Steve? Steve has no idea where he’s headed in life. He gave college a try three separate times after Vecna and dropped out each time after a semester. Too stupid to understand what his professors were talking about and unable to keep up with the workload while also working full time.

What good is he if the world isn’t ending? If he isn’t being the protector, the body they need when shit goes sideways (it always goes sideways.) His parents were at least kind enough to pay off the mortgage and cover the utilities for at least a year before they fucked off to God knows where, but once that’s up? Family Video only pays so much and he’s definitely not being paid to drive the brats around every weekend.

“I know,” Eddie says, because they’ve already talked about it. The band’s been invited up to Chicago to meet with label executives next month to let them hear some samples of their music, and that means the possibility of signing a contract and finally getting their big break.

Steve is so, so proud of him.

He’s also so, so lost.

They’ve stopped dancing. Eddie is still running his fingertips along his spine comfortingly. Steve sniffs and pulls back just enough to look at him. His boyfriend has opted for a flannel over a band t-shirt today. Steve fiddles with the collar and doesn’t meet Eddie’s concerned eyes.

“But you have to go.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself. “I can’t hold you back from something you’ve waited your whole life for.” He gives Eddie a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Corroded Coffin is your baby.”

Eddie cups his face and frowns. “You’ll always come first, you know that, right? Even if I’m on the other side of the world, as soon as you say the word, I’ll come right back to you.”

Steve does know that, and it scares the absolute shit out of him. Being loved so completely and unconditionally. It’s been almost three years and he’s is ashamed to admit he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Eddie to wake up and realize he could do so much better than a washed-up has-been who peaked in high school.

For him to realize that Steve Harrington isn’t actually a good dude after all.

But he wants this thing with Eddie to last longer than three years. He wants forever with him and he can only hope that Eddie wants the same. So he swallows down his insecurities and self doubt and leans into Eddie’s space, pressing their noses together and taking the lead of the dance this time.

“I promise not to call too often, then.”

taglist (mutuals lmk if you want to be added!): @yournowheregirl @steves-strapcollection @thefreakandthehair @stobinesque @vecnuthy

@tboygareth @flowercrowngods @starryeyedjanai @matchingbatbites @corrodedbisexual

@theheadlessphilosopher @patchworkgargoyle @sentient-trash @wormdebut @legitcookie

@corrodedcoughin @steddieas-shegoes @wynnyfryd @sidekick-hero @simplebtromance

[ishipallthings]

Cap Iron Man Rec Week 2024 (Fri)

Family Fluff Friday - July 26th for @cap-ironman Rec Week

Family fluff - both canon and AU fics, all the fluff!

Remember to show some love for your hard-working creators!

Deep in the Heart of Me by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) (AU)

There were days when the realization that he was someone’s father made Steve’s head hurt, but mostly he was grateful that he could trust his instincts, because apparently Peter was what had been missing from his life. Yes, he still had lingering, unresolved issues from his time in the Army, and sure, he had what Bucky annoyingly referred to as a criminally untapped ass, and no life outside of work and Peter, but Steve was okay with how his life had turned out because of trusting his instincts. Unfortunately, those same instincts had straight up betrayed him by going absolutely haywire upon being exposed to Tony Stark.

ten years too late (just in time) by Anonymous (AU)

 Steve never went out with Tony when they were young despite Tony’s attempts at wooing him, mostly because he thought Tony was too much of a flimsy playboy who could never really commit seriously to anything that wasn’t partying. Years later he runs into Single Father Tony taking care of his 3 year old. Tony refuses to buy his kid candy before dinner and is overall a pretty decent dad. Tony also thinks Steve could never be interested in him, since he was always rebuffed before, but Tony’s in for a surprise.

Tony, Please by FestiveFerret @festiveferret (AU)

Steve is doing just fine nursing a painful crush on his most captivating client. That is, until his babysitter has an emergency and drops Steve's six-year-old daughter off at his work. Somehow, everything goes off the rails.

Send Me A Hero by suitofhumour @suitofhumour (AU)

Tony needed a bodyguard for his kids and Steve Rogers was the most recommended pick available. Even as Tony tries to be wary of him, the guy manages to worm his way into Tony's life and soon his heart. But Steve has a secret that might be something that even Tony with his Iron Man suit cannot handle easily.

The one where… Tony meets Mr. Rogers by shieldmaidenofrohan  (AU)

“Are you ready?”

In the midst of a heavy rain by BladeoftheNebula @bladeofthenebula27 (AU)

“Do you know where Mr Rogers is?” Peter hummed. “He took his refreshment with him. He said he was going for a walk and would return for our next lesson.”

the porcupine and the armadillo by meidui @meidui (MCU, post-EG, series link)

‘I would not hurt them,’ the Porcupine thought to himself. ‘They did not give me a chance to show them that my belly is soft and has no quills. They also did not care that my quills are not there to hurt them. They are there to protect me and I would not survive without them.’

Treading Desire Lines by fohatic @fohatic (MCU, post-EG)

Tony knows that his daughter can be difficult, but he really needs someone to do him a solid when an important opportunity arises. Unfortunately, word is already out: Morgan Stark is a real handful. Never one to shrink from a challenge, Steve steps in, hoping to shift the strained dynamic between him and Tony and having no idea how the course of his life is about to change.

you’ve got to close your eyes and see by Thahire @thahiree (MCU, post-EG)

Morgan manages to bring Tony back eleven years after Thanos’ defeat, long after everyone’s learned to live without him. Everyone’s overjoyed once they get over their shock, but Tony finds it hard to adjust, now that Pepper’s moved on and Morgan’s not a little kid anymore. Somehow, the one constant is Steve.

Hope you guys enjoy the recs, and stay tuned! Please mind the tags before reading. Check out my tag for previous years’ rec lists, and here is an older rec list I made for stevetony single parent AUs :)

[lostdrarryfics]

lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! July 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of July. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. It was on ao3, 8th year, after the war, very often the writing shifted between draco and harry's POV. Draco and theo were dating (but they breakup in the end so drarry gets together), it's also a bottom draco fic but I can't remember any specific sex scenes. Theo peer pressures draco to do pills-like drugs and latter ron mentions to harry that he saw theo and draco staring at ron weird and laughing in the hallways at night. Their relationship is toxic but I don't remember much about it, draco and harry slowly starts to become friends, it's more or less at the same rhythm as Theo and draco relationship crumbles. I remember there was a point were theo has sex with some other guy to get more drugs and draco gets upset because he was cheating but then theo says that the other guy raped him and draco is not supposed to tell anyone because he could get in trouble and harry is secretly listening to the most part of the discussion and in his head he starts to question why would nott get in trouble if he was the victim but ultimately doesn't do/say anything about it. Theo gets addicted to those drugs but I can't remember if draco get as well or not. I can't recall if someone harasses draco for being a ex death eater but the students definitely look at him, and other slytherins, differently and most of them get excluded from the rest of the school despite the majority being innocent or too young to have done anything

2. harry and draco I think were already together. But Hermione liked draco and tried to steal him from harry and either used a love potion or gave him a cookie which made him fall in love with her. Some maybe key points I remember are: Harry was thinking and out of space not listening to ron and hermione fighting, when they finally got his attention ron told him about how Hermione thought it was ok for her to flirt with draco even in front of harry. Then at some point draco came up to the three and as he left hermione kisses him on the cheek in front of harry. I read the story on Wattpad in like 2020/2021 and Im pretty sure it had chapters.

3. harry has an owl service or some delivery food service like ubereats, postmates, deliveroo and once he learned who the order was for, Harry was going to give Draco Malfoy a piece of his mind for such a request for late delivery. “ugh pure bloods and their wealth”. then unexpectedly the wards let Harry in, and then he was face to face with Draco. now I will be honest, the role of Harry and Draco could be reversed, but I don’t think so? It may feature a young Scorpius Malfoy or Teddy Lupin. rating: explicit / mature? last remember reading it on ao3. One shot, completed. Maybe apart of Harry/Draco Owlpost Fest? tags: post-war, not canon compliant?, owl, owlpost, delivery, malfoy manor, grimmauld place, order, baked goods, food service. harry and draco are like in their 20s-30s. one chapter: about 10K words

4. i’m pretty sure in this fic harry is this well known baker/pastry chef in the wizarding world, and him and draco become friends and soon start dating. draco falls in love with harry’s sweet desserts which harry claims has a “special ingredient” which he won’t tell draco until the end. that’s when they meet in harry’s pantry/bakeshop and draco soon learns harry methods to creating such desserts, especially when harry uses his magic literally and metaphorically to create a huge order for a Ministry event which make draco falls deeper for him and his special filling especially when they go to the eat and eat his home made desserts. rating: explicit / nc-17. last I remember reading it on ao3. May be apart of a Drarry fest including: H/D Erised or Food Fair or Owlpost. From 2020-present maybe? tags: post war, not canon compliant, bakery, baker, pastry chef harry, coffee shop, coffee, post hogwarts/ harry potter epilogue what epilogue, frosting, icing, innuendos, pwp, cake, batter word count, filling, cream, crème, food, euphemisms. harry and draco are like in their 20s-30s. one chapter: 10K-20K words

5. fic I read a couple months ago. I found that fic at AO3, it's a multiple chapter (I don't remember the exact number of chapters). Main couple is Drarry. The fic is not magical au, I think Harry is a university student(?) and such an extrovert slight flirty person, but he only has Hermione as his friend. Btw, in that fic, Hermione is having an affair with Remus (their professor). Harry is crushing over Draco (Draco's not a university student), he's often goes to the campus to pick up Astoria, his girlfriend at that time. One day, Astoria invite Harry to her house in order to spice up her bed activity with Draco. At first, Draco is so shocked and offended(?) with Harry's presence (Draco has a idk what to call it, i guess internalized homophobic(??) caused by his father action). But then, slowly, Draco become more intrigued to Harry. Harry also realized that Draco is not the same as what Draco show in the outside, Harry knows that Draco hide his dom side(?) to look so calm, collected, chill, and so on). I think it's save to say that there are some infidelity at that fic but at the end Draco ends his relationship with Astoria first before officially start a new one with Harry. Oh, and Astoria is kind of regret her choice introducing Harry to Draco because she kind of sad to lose Draco, but no hard feeling tho.

6. the first few chapters are poems. Draco was fleeing to the muggle world or something and Harry captured him. Harry is also an Alpha and he mated with Draco forcefully, I think in this world if one of them dies then the one mated with you can be dead too. Thank you so much, it’s on AO3 but I can’t find it.

7. looking for a fic where Draco works as a mailman or something and he plays chess with one of the elderly lady in a wizarding nursing home. The lady also gives him tips but it embarrasses him but he accepts out of necessity. Harry is an auror and a newly turned werewolf and he cannot control himself around Draco like I remember that he keeps sniffing him while they were near an elevator. I've reread this fic but I can't seem to remember the title!

8. looking for a fic i only read the synopsis for (i swear i saved it but i cant find it now) basically draco writes a letter to harry saying "I'm going to kill you" but harry misreads it as "im going to kiss you"

9. fic on ao3, it was about Draco being like a sex slave for the deatheaters, and he was held up in chains and perceiving a lot less of his surroundings due to him trying to not feel anything. The plot of the war was different, and Harry and Ron were using polyjuice to get inside the manor, then they found Draco and were surprised, but Ron did like a gesture that he would also r4pe Draco (like unzipping his pants or something) and Harry stopped him, I think Harry said to Draco that he was gonna try to set him free when they could and Draco stayed there while watching them go. I'm not sure about that last part, and I do not remember much more or maybe even he wasn't free at all at the end

10. what I remember is that Draco was held in a room at Order headquarters, I remember several members tried to visit him for questioning, including Harry. But Draco didn't reveal anything at all. Then there is a scene where Harry comes in and tells him that Lucius Malfoy is dead, Harry shows the ring as proof that he is not mistaken

11. I could be mixing up two fics. I'm pretty sure it was on AO3. It was a 4th year AU, where I believe Harry and Draco were already dating when the Tournament happened. One scene that I remember clearly is that when Harry has to do that wand thing for the tournament, his wand just doesn't want to be used by Ollivander, so it hits Ollivander in the head. Also I think that Harry and the other champions get along pretty well and ARE working together. So much so that I think that they all agree that they just don't really wanna be a part of the tournament and then they train together and everything. And if I'm not mistaken, for the second task they all decide to use a boat? To get to the Merfolk village and then just dive and get their hostage. And for the third task they were just planning on get inside the maze and do a picnic?

[madstronaut]

tis christmas in july aka the season for feasting year-round 

much like the 3-in-1 monstrosity of shampoo/condish/bodywash that the COD men probably use (not gaz, though he would n e v e r) I am tossing in my ramblimmentaries three of cin’s lovely fics together here 🥰

aaanyway not even ashamed to say I’ve been re-reading their holiday keegan fic SEVERAL TIMES a month since I first saw it last december cos it’s so cute and fluffy

ok I need to get this out of the way laughing my ass off rn because autocorrect changed cumikering to cucumber several times throughout here and i was howling when I went to edit this and I was like why are there cucumbers everywhere??? LMAO

Reading: Neighbour Keegan Russ x reader by @cumikering

ah meet cute at the laundry room; I love it alr (as you can see i am easily pleased/amused/moved)

also it’s already on sight with reader’s cuz, i have unfortunately met ppl like this IRL (haven’t we all) and well talk about telling on themselves about how unhappy they are :/

“Well, if you need company…” he said, trying to not sound too hopeful. I’d love to spend some time with you. You turned to him, brow raised. “Wait, you mean, you want to come with? Be my plus one?” “That wasn’t- well, yeah. I can do that.” He shrugged. “If you want.” This wasn’t the direction he was heading for. He was going to offer to spend Christmas together, maybe exchange gifts, but he surely wasn’t going to take that back. Anything for a chance with you.

AAAA OBSESSED WITH HOW CUTE AND AWKWARD THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE IS

He always enjoyed seeing your face brighten like that, despite never getting the chance to see it enough…But between deployments, he was lucky to even catch a glimpse of you once a week, leaving any possible advances towards you simply a fantasy to him. He was out of practice, but was he that out of practice that he came on too strong and scared you? He certainly didn’t mean to make it suggestive. This was going to end before it even started. He grimaced to himself.

we love some good ole mutual pining🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰

That time you saw Keegan on a run shirtless out your window you had to sit down.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA crying laughing at this…also reminded me of a time I hung out with a friend in LA who went to pick up a friend after he ran a marathon and drop him off before we went to dinner - didn’t realize the runner was an old acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while since he was a senior when I was a freshman in college but I fucking remembered him alright when he came running up ripped af, shirtless, sweaty, saw me and went “MADSTRONAAUUTTTT OMG” and picked me up and spun me while in his giant hulking sweaty arms and I briefly bluescreened…anyway cough sorry back to keegan what was I saying, yes shirtless sweaty keegan yes yes 

He didn’t speak much (you wished he did though because his voice was divine)

my fellow voicekink brian bloom fans where you at

ah wooing by fake dating, is there a better trope (tbh the ones I’ve read are hit or miss but this one is 10/10)

Keegan sat on his bed as you went through his wardrobe. How cheesy would it be if he were to pull out his guitar and serenade you? He, too, was told the ladies liked men who played the guitar. Why do you think he picked it up in high school?

*thousand eyed stare thinking of how many times I've heard wonderwall as a millenial*

He’d made it his mission to make sure taking him to your family was worth your while.

ah yes a true soldier through and throughhhhh~

You were a steady stream of glee that didn’t drain him and he couldn’t get enough.

AAWWWWWWW fucking loved this line!!!!!!!

also the cousin’s name as Bella now has me picturing her as twilight kristen stewart

It only made it hard to dilute your hopefulness that this meant the slightest bit more than nothing.

“dilute your hopefulness” GAAHHH LOVE THIS PHRASE CIN MWAH MWAH

now how to put this lightly but everything about bella just filled me with pure rage lol first off I WOULD ALSO KILL FOR A DYSON AIR WRAP GIFTED TO ME (can I buy one? yes. can I justify buying one? hell no) and I hate to use this term but textbook definition of a ‘pick-me girl’ right here but seeing casual cruelty like this would make me hear those kill bill sirens and have me swabbing some vaseline on my face and taking my earrings off and spitting some razorblades out my mouth and- cough anyway that’s from my younger fanciful days, I don’t carry razorblades in my mouth this isn’t late 90s/early 2000s new york ha cough anyway moving on smh throwing my hands at bella up in air

but I loved the contrast with keegan and let me just say everything about bella’s ‘gift’ goes against the pure nature of giftgiving and I am thrilled that she left the card there but got to take Keegan home 🥰

this whole fic reminded me of a lovely quote I read on a tear-off daily calendar lol

“The wise one knows. The giver of the gift IS the gift. And the gift is just the giver’s heart in the shape of something to make you smile.  The gift decays. The giver stays. And so the real gift remains.”

I will make an exception for celebrating Christmas in July for any of cin's holiday fics 🥰🥰🥰

-----------------------------------------

aaaaand also reading: by Ghost x plus-sized reader by cinny

omfg fucking tearing up my pillows to shreds at how much I love this lil fic!!!

You scoffed, looking past him at the other ladies in the room. “Are you serious? There are plenty who weigh far less.” His brow rose. “Are you calling me weak?”

fucking love reading about a suave smooth-ass ghost

His eyes softened a touch. “May I? Please?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 WHO CAN RESIST PUPPY EYED GHOST??? TELL ME WHO

 Across the pub, the table of three men grinned at the massive stranger. The one with the mohawk was very much entertained as he gave him thumbs up.

yes yes we love wingman!141

You laughed, your breath warm against his ear. “Are you going to set me down or am I having my drink on your back?” “Don’t give me ideas.” He chuckled as he lowered you to your feet.

HOW CUTE IS SIMON CARRYING READER TO THE BAR? AAAAAAA

“Okay. Well, thanks for he drink. You could get back to your mates if you want.” “I’m Simon,” he mustered instead.

“he mustered” AAAH I LOVE BIG NERVOUS MEN STUMBLING OVER THEIR WORDS

When he turned to them, they immediately busied themselves with their drinks, averting their gazes.

LMAO

So that was why you were alone. You were waiting for someone. Disappointment anchored at the bottom of his chest. “Right. Okay.” You smiled. “Thanks for the drink, Simon. I’ll see you around, yeah?” He grunted and you headed to the end of the bar. He stood umoving for another second before retreating to his table like a kicked puppy.

ummm omg I literally keeled over and slumped out of my chair in sympathy for simon for a good minute before I could read on OMG CIN HOW COULD YOU (lmao jk I loved this sm)

You flagged down some other blond man who walked over to you with a smile.

LMAO yes yes simon you are clearly superior

“I know she’s with someone, but I can tell she likes you more,” Price said, and Simon finally tore his gaze away from you. “Ye should fight ��im, L.T. He dinnae stand a fuckin’ chance.” “You can knock him out with a slap,” Gaz quipped.

fucking love this, cin has 141 characterisation down to a T with each of their responses!!!! 

also men of the world if you can please take notes on stepping up from 141 here, please start doing so yesterday tyvm

so busy mopping up my heart from melting at how adorable this meet-cute is and I also got halal two days in a row from the halal guys cart by work thanks to reading about the kebabs in this fic

-----------------------------------------

and finally reading: Ghost x asmr artist reader by cinny

"Simon had a pepper problem and a pasta dilemma"

🥺🥺🥺🥺 I am dying at the cuteness here alr🥺🥺🥺🥺

You turned to him. He noticed the little startle before you shoved your phone back in your pocket.

men who are self-aware of their size and presence and the effect it has on ppl around them and act accordingly, I love you

Your quiet cooking videos were one of the only things left that offered him calmness, especially on those nights away on missions, giving him tingles in all the right places, and shamefully, the wrong ones too sometimes.

sir, sir, there is no room for shame in love~

“Ah- I’m sorry,“ he managed, flustered by your sudden exit. “I didn’t want to be presumptuous, but you make those videos, don’t you? I recognised your voice.” You grinned, turning to him. “I just wanted to thank you,” he said. “Your videos comfort me a lot.” “I’m happy to hear. Thank you for watching.” Simon wanted to tug his beanie over his face because as you walked away, he was unmoving with a racing heart and a blush over his pale cheeks.

omfg WANTED TO TUG HIS BEANIE DOWN??? I AM IN LOVE I LOVE STRONG YET VULNERABLE GIANT MEN SM (this is a fluff fic so I am keeping with the fluffy vibes nd restraining my horny ass from choking out some absolutely thirsty comments here)

Despite the uncomfortable circumstances, your quiet yet crisp voice always sent him into a restful slumber.

yes shoutout to my favorite YT vids and comfort fics for putting me to sleep without fail

The chance encounter only fuelled his attraction. Knowing the kind smile behind the sweetest voice felt like an intimate secret, one you shared with him and only him - not with the rest of your few thousand subscribers.

i love how sweet simon is here with his lil parasocial crush and OMG WHEN READER APPROACHES HIM FIRST IN THE PASTA AISLE I also blushed IRL GOD I LOve FLUFF FICS SM

“Someone sent in a recipe for a video, and it’s absolutely delicious. I’ve been making it at least once a month ever since.”

SIMON’S COMFORT YOUTUBER’S COMFORT RECIPE IS SIMON'S??? WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUS OUROBOROS OF A COINKYDINK

He combed his hair back with his fingers, hoping his hat hair wasn’t terrible. He caught the double take you did at his tattooed arm.

🥰hehehe i love these little tidbits and morsels of vulnerability (hmm good band name, writing that down)

The rich scent of caramelised meat drifting in the room wrapped around him like a warm blanket.

Between sips of tea, you enjoyed your own halves of the chocolate wordlessly, the music melting into the background.

The savoury aroma glided past the thin gaps of the oven, swirling and dancing between you and him.

mmmmmm this has to be one of the coziest fics ive ever read

“I was an apprentice butcher before I enlisted.” He pressed down on the ricer with ease.

so much said in two sentences!!! ugh mwah mwah so many chef’s kisses for your writing style cinny

also loved how both are very self-aware and how reader picks up on simon talking about his mom in past tense and the whole fic emerging to fit around this bit of simon’s story is so wonderful to me… He waited until you took a bite before taking his own, and his breath caught. His brows furrowed as lump formed in his throat. Had the ground cracked and plunged him into a glitched universe? He was once more in Manchester, 10 years younger, finally home after a long day at the butcher, his mum and brother waiting at the table with the piping hot dish in the middle of it.

literally picturing that critic eating ratatouille flashback end scene from the eponymous movie 😂🥰

The last thing he wanted to do in front of you was shed a tear, but there he was, some hulking stranger sobbing on your shoulder as nostalgia held him in a death grip. It was humiliating to be seen like this – he didn’t remember the last time he cried from feelings, yet the tears wouldn’t cease despite his efforts. But you held him close, and his thick arms wrapped around you. He told himself if he pulled you close enough, it would hurt less.

i love how simon’s comfort streamer becomes an IRL comfort place for him to safely break down 🥹🥹 did I cry from reading this? IDK MAYBE WHO KNOWS? (looks at the ruined kleenex piled in my wastebin)

I hope all readers know and have a person and place like this (and may we host such places and become such people as well) 💛✨🌿

and of course I will pause my rambles here with a big-ass hug 🫂 and thank you to cinny for being a wonderful comfort fic writer for meeee 🫶🫶🫶😘👌😘👌😘👌

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Poll 4- New Plot Bunnies

EDIT!!! I just realized I had this poll set for 1 Day and not 1 Week. 🤦‍♀️So sorry for everyone who has already voted if I can't trouble you to vote again...

This poll is for which fic you want to see updated on July 16th as part of my 7 day birthday gifts to the fans! If you are unfamiliar with my works or need a reminder, check out the links and summaries below the “read more” before you vote. Other poll information for this week can be found here.

And any fics that don’t win but still collect a substantial amount of votes are eligible for a Redemption Vote on June 6th! Otherwise, thank you for your participation! 😍😁

Just Out of Reach- Ladyhawk AU; Bilbo and Thorin were getting married in Laketown in secret when a curse was placed upon them. Now Thorin becomes a raven by day and Bilbo a raccoon by night so that they can never be together as hobbit and dwarf again unless they fulfill the catastrophic wishes of the curse bearer, whoever he may be…

The Raven Prince- Swan Princess AU; Thorin never gave much thought to his fiancé past how much he didn’t want to have a fiancé, especially not this hobbit. However, after the mysterious death of the Shire Kingdom’s monarchs and Bilbo’s disappearance, Erebor is approached by a sorcerer who flexes his power and influence on Thorin. Now he’s a raven and he must somehow save Bilbo, save his kingdom, and get his father’s blessing before it’s too late.

An Unexpected Gift on a Journey to You- Dwobbit Frodo; Bilbo went back to the Shire, and Thorin couldn’t necessarily blame him. However, eight years later, he starts to miss what once was and what could be and decides to journey to the Shire to plead forgiveness. Only problem, Bilbo supposedly had left for Erebor months before. Why had he not made it? Where was their former burglar? And what was with this little hobbit child who supposedly had been living with Bilbo?

In a Garden of Dreams, I Plant Memories- Afterlife AU; Bilbo had received a high honor. He was the gardener. Every morning, he would go out and tend to the souls planted in his garden, listening to their dreams and helping them to grow. One morning, he went out and found something different. A dwarf waiting for him who seemed to believe he had known him long ago.

Lois Lane Had It Easy- Superhero AU; Bilbo is an insurance claims adjuster who always seems to find himself in some sort of predicament thanks to their local superhero and supervillains. The various attempts on his life would be bad enough, but Bilbo seems to have somehow offended their hero, Oakenshield, as he practically ignores Bilbo leaving him to save himself every time. Perhaps it was the infatuation talking, but Lois Lane definitely had it easy.

Banished and Waiting- Modern Royalty AU; Bilbo had been madly in love with his university boyfriend, even after learning he was in fact the prince of Erebor. However, when he went with Thorin to meet his family, Thrain banished Bilbo behind Thorin's back deeming him not good enough and sent him back to the Shire. Bilbo has been waiting ever since for Thorin to come find him. That was eighteen years ago. Instead, Gandalf was the one to find him and beg him to help him. The King of Erebor's life depends on it.

Untitled AU- Emperor's New Groove AU; Bilbo went back to the Shire much to the Sackville-Baggins displeasure. Lobelia sent Otho after a trader for a poison to use on Bilbo. However, when they used it Bilbo turned into a ferret instead. Bilbo leads them on a chase determined to get back to the safety of his dwarves, while Lobelia and Otho attempt to finish the job.

[oddinary4bts]

Ella! Congrats on your milestone, you deserve it!

Can I request this one from the fluff list, with Hobi please?

23. “I fell for you without even knowing it and, jesus, does it hurt that you can’t see it.”

Thank you!! I really enjoyed writing this drabble, gosh I miss Hobi so much :')

Two Hundred and Nineteen Days | jhs

☆pairing: Hoseok x reader

☆rating: 13+

☆genre: slices of life!au, fluff, a tiny little bit of angst (don't ask me how it happened, angst sneaks up on me all the time)

☆warnings: a little bit of alcohol, entirely unedited

☆word count: 2.2k

☆a/n: I had an out of body experience writing this fic. I chose a random number (219) of days... only to realize the 219th day of the year is my birthday. I was shaken for a good ten minutes lmao. I hope you enjoy reading!

☆other fluff prompts can be found here!

☆☆☆☆☆

                You’ve known Jeong Hoseok for five hundred and forty-one days. It took you thirty-four days to realize he had become your closest friend at work, and since then it’s been five hundred and seven days of you and him meeting at the coffee machine every day to gossip about your other coworkers.

He’s your favourite coworker. Every day since you’ve started working at this company, you’ve sat at the desk across from him. Every day, he’s offered you a bright smile and wished you a good morning. Every day, he’s eaten lunch with you, talking about how he used to dance when he was a kid and how his mother would dress him all formal with a little red bow tie.

And two hundred and nineteen days ago, at last New Year’s Eve party, Hoseok held your hands because they were freezing while you stood outside watching the fireworks.

Two hundred and nineteen days. You think you should have understood your feelings for him since then, but you’ve been blind to it. That early March afternoon when he said his mother wanted him to go on a blind date and you’ve felt your heart breaking in your chest at the perspective of him going, you weren’t able to explain your reaction to him. You blamed it on your throat hurting, and he bought cough medicine for you that he brought at work the next day.

In late May, when you ended up being stood up by your other coworkers for your usual end of the month lunch, you think you almost realized. But when he mentioned his last date had ended well, you furrowed your brows and then asked him about it.

Halfway through the month of July, when he told you that he believed he’d be single forever, with that bright smile of his that always makes flowers grow on the soil of your heart, you whispered that you didn’t believe it. When he asked you to repeat, you said, “Don’t we all feel this way”.

Today is the 7th of August. You’re out on the annual camping trip of the company – not an actual trip, just a day on the countryside, next to a small lake where you swam in the early afternoon. And today you feel like you’ve been blind. Because he’s been in your life for five hundred and forty-one days, and you’re only now realizing that maybe, the way your heart flutters every time you see him is not because he’s a dear friend. Though you reckon the flutters started after New Year Eve only, so maybe you've only been blind for two hundred and nineteen days.

You’ve been drinking a little. Just a few glasses of rosé wine throughout the day, and you’ve watched him drink a couple of beers. Brought him one when he finished his last one without him even asking. It had your hands clammy with anxiety, but he didn’t say anything, just thanked you as you sat back next to him.

The sun has set now, and you’re lounging by the fireside. Some of your coworkers already left, and only the closest ones to you are still here. None of them know what you’ve realized today, and you’re quick to notice how Ryunjin sits close to Hoseok. How she speaks to him in ushered tones, and you think maybe, after all, your eyes opened two hundred and nineteen days too late.

He looks your way once, and when your gazes catch your heart stops in your chest. He smiles, infinitely soft, infinitely kind, and your cheeks burn. You’re lucky the firelight hides it, and you take a sip from your cup to distract you.

When Ryunjin puts her hand on his arm, telling him they should go look at the stars on the lake, you feel your heart drop so low in your chest it physically aches. To your surprise, Hoseok invites everyone, and everyone gets up to go.

It’s you that he falls into step with, even though Ryunjin is just a step in front of him.

“You’ve been silent,” Hoseok says, gently. “Where’s my gossip partner?”

You choke on a chuckle, and then worry at your bottom lip. “Sorry. I… I’ve been feeling weird.”

“Do you need to go?” Ryunjin asks, kindly, because even though you don’t like how she’s been around Hoseok, Ryunjin is nice. “I think Youngseo and Chaeryeon were talking about leaving.”

The two girls in question are up ahead, and they don’t hear Ryunjin. But you feel like she’s trying to get rid of you, and it hurts, just a little.

“I can drive you,” Hoseok suggests, and you almost stumble on your feet.

Because is it really a good idea to be encased in Hoseok’s car for the hour that the drive back is? You highly doubt so, yet you can’t find it in you to refuse. Not when Ryunjin mentions she thought Hoseok was driving her back, and Hoseok says she can always catch the ride with Youngseo and Chaeryeon.

You’re twenty minutes into the drive home, spent in an awkward silence, by the time Hoseok asks, “Are you okay?”

You can’t really tell him the truth, right?

“Yeah, I actually feel better,” you lie.

“I’m glad,” he says gently, and then you’re encased in another ten minutes of silence, only interrupted by him humming to the music on the radio. Until you realize you shouldn’t have said you’re better, because he says, “Is it just me or is Ryunjin into me?”

You freeze, and then turn to glance at his profile. “Is she? I don’t think I noticed.”

Another lie, and he obviously doesn’t catch it.

“She kept talking to me today,” he continues, and he sounds genuinely … happy.

Needless to say, it breaks your heart.

“Did she?”

“Yeah,” he says. He glances at you once, before chuckling. “That’s why I wanted to go. I’m so awkward, what would I have done for an hour with her in my car? I would have just made a fool of myself.”

All you can think to ask is, “Do you like her?”

It has no business sounding as aggressive as it does, and this time Hoseok catches up to it.

“I don’t know… Why?”

You nibble at your lower lip, anxiety flooding your entire being. “Just wondering.”

“Mmh,” he lets out, and then the atmosphere shifts.

It shifts into even more awkwardness, into Hoseok sending you weird glances that you ignore as you look out the window on the passenger side, watching the streetlights as they grow more common when you near the city.

Hoseok doesn’t hum for the rest of the way, doesn’t tap his finger on the wheel in time with the beat of the song. And when he parks his car in the office's parking lot, not turning the engine off right away, he turns to look at you.

“Why are you weird about this?”

You freeze with your hand on the doorknob. “I’m not weird.”

“You’ve been weird since I mentioned Ryunjin,” he insists.

“I haven’t.”

He throws you a no-bullshit look, one eyebrow cocked. “You usually always gossip with me and now you just haven’t said anything.”

You scoff, shooting him a quick look before finding solace in the world outside of the window again. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”             

“Your opinion?” Hoseok suggests, shrugging his shoulders. “You know Ryunjin, maybe she told you something?”

“So, you do like her?”

He’s growing frustrated. That much you can tell as he runs a hand through his hair and makes a vague move that looks like ‘how am I supposed to know’.

“Maybe? She’s attractive and she’s nice, I’d be stupid to miss the opportunity.”

“Right,” is all your able to answer.           

He watches your profile, bores hole into it, and then he turns off the engine and the doors immediately unlock. You quickly open the door and step out because frankly you need air, need to get away. Because you were stupid, not to realize before. You were stupid to not understand what those flutters in your heart were, were stupid to not understand that you didn’t like to think about him going on dates because you were falling in love with him. Had probably fallen in love with him two hundred and nineteen days ago, as he had held your freezing hands through the New Year.

He follows you out of the car. “Y/n, come on,” he says, jogging to where you’re powerwalking towards your car. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” you say, scoffing. In a fit of rage, you add, “Actually I do.”

You stop, turning to look at him. His eyes are a little wide, a little scared, and his usual bright smile is miles away from his features.

“What’s wrong then?” he presses, voice small.

“I fell for you without even knowing it and, jesus, does it hurt that you can’t see it.”

Hoseok goes very still. You don’t think he’s even breathing, as you stare at each other. The silence stretches, and he doesn’t even blink. He does become blurry though, as tears slowly fill your eyes.

And when you realize that he’s not going to say anything, you turn around, shame draped on your shoulders, trickling down into your very stature as you take a first step away. And then a second, and a third one, and you think maybe tomorrow, on this two hundred and twentieth day of the year, what happened today will just be a nightmare.

It materializes into reality as one tear slips on your cheek, and you wipe it with the back of your hand angrily.

That’s when he says your name. So softly, like the flutter of an infant’s lids as they sleep. You’re not even sure you heard it – you feel it more than anything. It wraps around your heart, heals the slow unravelling.

He stops you, with one gentle hand wrapped around your wrist. His fingers are warm, light, and when he tugs to make you turn, you give in. Mostly because he has startled the tears away, and you look up at him, thinking he’s never looked at you with that much of a serious look on his face.

He murmurs your name again, and it settles in your soul, building a home for him there.

When he kisses you, supple lips meeting your awaiting mouth, you sigh, and let him pull you in. He cups your cheek with one hand, ever so gently as if he thinks you’re the most precious porcelain, and his other hand holds your waist. You rest yours on his chest, feeling the rapid tap-tap-tap of his heart under your fingertips. His organ traces a melody into your palm, strong and steady. When he pulls away from the kiss to look down at you, you think he’s shining, brightly, blindingly so. He is the sun, and maybe you’re the Earth. Maybe you’ll grow and nurture life under his warm rays.

At least that’s how you feel when he pulls you into another kiss, this one languid, slow and passionate. When his tongue teases your mouth, you meet it with your own, and immediately you know his taste will intoxicate you, in the best ways that it can.

After a long and small eternity, Hoseok pulls away again, and he offers you a sweet smile. “I fell for you so long ago,” he admits. “But you never…” he trails off, shakes his head slightly. “I never thought it was reciprocated.”

One of your hands reaches up, and you shakily trace his jaw with the tip of a finger. His skin is soft, like a rose petal, yet infinitely warmer. “I think I was oblivious to it. Until today…”

“Can I take you out on a date?” he asks, a little suddenly.

You smile. “Where do you want to take me?”

He shines even more at the sight of your smile, at the fondness tracing words of affection in your eyes. “There’s this place I go to dance sometimes. It’s bright, and they also have arcade games. It’s my favourite place, and I always thought you’d love it there.”

Your heart fills with warmth, flutters with tenderness. “I’m sure I will.”

And of course you do. Because it’s a little piece of him, and you’re realizing every day that you love every single piece of him. The good and the bad. It might have taken you two hundred and nineteen days to realize it, but you’re in love with the very tapestry of his soul, with every single thread that makes him.

A hundred and forty-six days later, Hoseok holds your freezing hands into the New Year, and this time he kisses you as the first fireworks explode into the cold night air, shining colours on you. They match the explosions in your heart that every swipe of his tongue brings to you, and you reckon that, in the six hundred and eighty-seven days of you knowing him, Hoseok has always made your heart shine.

And you know now that there are a thousand, a million more days in front of you, and that you’ll shine for him through all of them, like he shines for you.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Seven Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 14 is available on AO3 & Chapter 15 will be posted soon.

Currently 14 chapters completed: 417.3K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

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I'm so excited to continue writing Chapter 15 and for anyone who hasn't read Chapter 14, here's a brief overview: Buck and Eddie sat together in Buck's oncologist's office to hear the results of Buck's Cancer Screening, Buck had a setback that reminded Eddie about the day he found Buck unresponsive in his loft back in July, the Buckley parents showed up unannounced, Bobby knows Buck and Eddie are in a relationship but he hasn't said anything and Eddie had a panic attack after they left the scene of a call. Also, Eddie and Karen had a conversation about Eddie's paramedic certification course and Buck and Bobby spent a Saturday together participating in a father and son activity.

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Here's some Buck and Eddie romantic fluff from Chapter 15.

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Buck leans down, he gently rubs his hand up and down Eddie’s back and when he begins to wake up, Buck softly kisses him on the lips, smiles and says, “Good morning my love”.

Eddie’s eyes flutter open and in less than one second, he focuses and once he realizes his boyfriend's ocean blue eyes are looking back at him, he smiles and responds, “Good morning, babe”.  Then as realization sets in, his expression changes to one of confusion because the last thing he remembers is they were talking on the phone before 3:00AM after Buck called and said a current Hershey University professor responded to his Facebook message with information about his biological father.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, I did but babe… when did you get here?”

“About a half hour ago.  I brought breakfast because today… is “Diaz Day” and you’re not going to do anything except for take a shower, get dressed and relax.”

When Eddie sits up in bed, Buck’s smile widens because even though Eddie’s hair is standing up all over his head, Buck still believes he’s the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life.

“You brought breakfast?”

“I did and I’m going to cook lunch and dinner today too and breakfast in the morning, so you won’t have to do anything.”

Eddie yawns then asks, “Is Chris…”

Buck interrupts him.  “He’s already awake and waiting for us to meet him in the dining room so we can eat.”

Eddie stands and wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist.  He pulls him close and whispers, “Thank you” into his ear.

“You don’t have to thank me… we’re a team and we have each other’s backs and hearts.”

Eddie tightens his arms around Buck’s waist and buries his face in between his neck and shoulder.  He knows he’s tired and he has been for a couple of days but Buck has his heart and his back and he couldn’t be happier.  He's here and he declared today to be “Diaz Day” and he said he’s going to take care of him.  He’s never had anyone to do anything like this for him before but Buck does these types of romantic and giving gestures all the time and he knows he wants things to be like this for the rest of their lives.

What else does Buck have planned for "Diaz Day?"👀

____________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

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Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Will be posted soon.

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Read chapters 1-14 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 15 will be posted soon.

[heathtrash]

tww fans, help me recover from top surgery!!

okay i am freaking oUT bc surgery is in a few hours but i thought of a cute way you might want to support me - by reading/commenting on my fics? comments are my favourite thing to get so i will LOVE reading them while i'm in that very common post-op depression time

hicsqueak

A Clock With No Hands - it's epic, it's angsty, it's action-packed, it's domestic?? pippa pentangle is a horse girl?? if you love confinement slowburn angst this is the one for you. you can read up to the end of chapter 10 if you don't like unfinished things because it has a nice natural pause there. my first ever fanfiction i ever started. i don't know what else to say about it. it's my child i'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places - pippa is engaged! TO A MAN. hecate is furious about being invited? it's the daily update fic that i devoted my full life to for the month of october! i'm told it was exciting to read as it was updating but still remains a very "i'll just read one more chapter" fic. it really does go places

Theft of a Heart (I know this much is true) - go back to the 80s for this dive into teen hisqueak! it's kind of a prequel to a clock with no hands. if you want to see how morgana orchestrates pippa and hecate becoming friends, then this is the fic for you

Blow, Northerne Wynd - rapunzel au!!! hecate's confinement re-imagined as the rapunzel story. pippa is a gallant knight who visits her. technically this doesn't have an ending but i left it in a pretty good place!!!

there’s something about kittens - tiny little one-shot about pippa and hecate taking care of the kittens that the cackle's students will receive

To ready one's heart (hicsqueak Valentine's Day drabble sequence) - i mean, who doesn't love fake dating at a charity auction?

Going Once, Going Twice - (summary-style) non-magical au where hecate is an archaeologist bidding on an important item for her research. a rival from her past, pippa, bids against her. they have to meet up to resolve matters and. well, it's a christmas romcom.

Other ways of keeping warm - hicsqueak at a christmas market. SUCH fluff.

Taking the Initiative - after a workshop from pippa, hecate gets really into dungeon mastering a D&D game for a small group of students. this was never finished but maybe it doesn't have to be?

Raspberry and White Chocolate - very short university au where hecate is a lecturer and pippa is a PhD student. one of the first fics i ever wrote!

hackle

A Witch in Paris (Yours, Hecate) - hecate is staying in paris for research, and her only means of communication with the headmistress she pines after is by letter. if you've never read hackle before, this is a soft introduction! it's actually a remix fic so i can't take all the credit (originally was a series of letters by @emiline-northeto)

A Rather Distinguished Guest - edwardian au where hecate is on her way to a guest-house where she is the housekeeper, and finds herself sharing a carriage with a very interesting stranger. it's historical cottagecore!

A minute before midnight - hackle love confession at midnight on new year's! it's soft

Hush Little Kitty - only very tiny amount of hackle, but the fic is mainly about hecate looking for morgana. if you love cats and soft hecate then here!!

Only Happy When It Rains - super random magical grunge band au, no idea what i was thinking

mumbroom

A Nanny’s Intuition - hecate goes BACK IN TIME to pose as a nanny and protect baby mildred hubble in julie's flat from a magical attack. obviously she'll have no problems at all keep her feelings in check. what could go wrong???

Merry Christmas, Darling (mumbroom ficlets) - THREE one-shot fics showing how julie and hecate get closer over the years at Christmas, from beginning to date, to engagement and marriage

The Best Cure is Company - hecate is sick, julie helps her recover. established relationship that just gets cuter

misc/collections

A Taste of Honey - one of my most beloved fics??? HONEYBROOM. jennifer honey (yes, matilda miss honey) comes to teach at cackle's as a supply teacher. hecate is about to be in for a Lot. this goes deeper than expected

Fly Me To The Moon (Fill My Heart With Song) - starabella! a year after the betrayal, dimity checks up on arabella by taking a date to her jazz gig. starabella never gets enough love

Something Strong About Her - starbroom, where hecate treats dimity to a lovely day out

The Star of My Sky - starbroom, where hecate has a proposal for dimity and her collapsible broomstick. hecate teases dimity relentlessly. if you're wanting a laugh, THIS.

a dance to remember - pippa/hecate/julie, lots of soft care for hecate at ostara. chill lil cottage one-shot

The Cat Omnibus (multiship Valentine's Day drabble collection) - maybe you really like cats. there's a cat in EVERY drabble. some beloved rarepairs

only three sentences to confess my love (Tumblr Ask Box fics) - askbox three-sentence fics. they're gay

A Selection of Chocolates (April 2020 drabble collection) - so i bought a discounted 65p easter egg, and wrote a multiship collection. i've no idea

The Witching Hour: A Celebration of Hallowe'en (TWW October Drabble Challenge 2019) - random hallowe'en/autumn drabbles

Only This Moment (march 2020 drabble collection) - another multiship drabble collection, for my sins

other fandoms

home is where you kiss me - imodna try to make a home together and perhaps there is a little cONFESSION? some mild threat

creepy creeps with eerie eyes - imodna decorate zhudanna's house for hallowe'en. it's silly and cute and i wrote most of it right after the first episode of campaign 3 aired because i was immediately obsessed with imogen and laudna, like a gay

The Importance of Being Subtle - vex and keyleth go on an adventure and there's a sneaky little love confession. if the tag "sapphics on a broomstick" doesn't draw you in, i don't know what will

As Long As You're Here - downton abbey, mary/baxter sickfic. mary is sick and baxter has been left behind in quarantine with her

Just a touch more - downton abbey, mary/baxter. baxter is dressing mary in preparation for a hunt. it takes a turn for the gay

To the Hilt - flemson in an olympics au. joanne davidson and kate fleming fence. it's very uhhh gay word. even if you don't know the ship, you might enjoy the ladies with swords.

Two First Kisses - flemson university au? kate thinks she's straight and goes to the LGBTsoc meet. there's no way she'll fall for jo, right???? it's also 2006 because i'm nostalgic for my own university days. tbh this might as well be original fiction, the ship is barely relevant

Holding Back the Years - doubt, sister aloysius/sister james. is sister aloysius ready for the cOnFeSsIoN sister james is about to give her? lesbian nuns idk

to seduce a stranger (maryisa valentine's day drabble sequence) - maryisa from his dark materials! marisa coulter has to lead mary malone on, but how far will it take her?

anyway thank you so much if you decide to read or re-read anything! i might have some LAMPBROOM (constance hardbroom/lynne lamplighter) in the works but i’ve been so brain empty these past few days. if i have a braincell in recovery i’ll try to edit and post the chapters i have. obviously if that’s not your ship i’ve written plenty of other fics 🫡

[solomontoaster]

Just Leave A Comment Fest

Right, so I thought it would be fun to make a rec list of all the great fics I commented on during @justleaveacommentfest . I didn't have a ton of time to read fic this week, not just because of Ao3 going down, but I did my best! For fics that were multi-chapter I commented on every chapter.

July 10, Old/New:

New (published 7/8/2023, updated 7/11/2023) — Near Misses, Wishes by Underthebluerain | T | The Witcher | Jaskier/Radovid

Even if they don't fully realize it, Jaskier and Radovid's story is one of near misses.

Old (published 2/15/2013) — In the Hay by Hammocker | T | The Witcher | Jasker & Geralt

The night is too cold for Dandelion, but traveling with your closest friend has its perks.

July 11, <2k words:

1,917 words — Equal to Law by cyparissuscried | T | The Terror | Sophia Cracroft/Thomas Hartnell

Tom, she thinks. She could write a whole play with his name alone. He would be embarrassed of it and hide his face in the front of her kirtle at its premiere and she would not make fun, because that is the very reason for writing a play of his name. Tom. Thomas. Tom. Thomas. Tom. Thomas. Tom.

918 words — untitled (ghosts) by grahamgore | T | The Terror | Francis Crozier/James Clark Ross

It's 1854. Francis finally visits the Abbey at Aston Abbots.

July 12, AUs:

Soulmate AU — a grove without a name by stiltonbasket | G | MDZS/The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian was ten years old when he first began wearing mourning for his dead soulmate. Eight years later, he meets Lan Wangji. (Or, the one where a soulmate bond goes silent and shatters during the Sunshot Campaign, but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were always meant to be.)

Daemon AU — You're the Demon I Know by maely1234 | T | MDZS/The Untamed | Gen, Nie Huaisang

Nie Huaisang has spent nearly a decade working and planning and scheming, his daemon A-Zhi at his side. But while he may have survived Jin Guangyao's plans, dragging his hated enemy down in the process, he hadn't prepared for after. Left floundering without his quest for vengeance guiding him, Nie Huaisang navigates what it is he wants from life. Follows from the second siege of the burial mounds onwards.

July 13, Rarepair/Platonic:

Rarepair (12 fics) — all known effects of time and absence by robokittens | T | The Terror | John Irving/William Malcolm

My Dear Malcolm,— When next you receive post from me it will be in a batch, all post-marked from the Sandwich Islands and all beginning with a longing for your company.

Platonic — Lost Brothers by FormlessVoidbeast | M | Mad Max: Fury Road | Capable & Nux

Capable had brothers. She’d held them in her arms, and whispered their names in their ears over and over in hopes that they would remember who they were. (No War Pup ever remembered who they were by the time they were a War Boy)

July 14, Something New:

New Fandom — Frankenstein

we face the night by hilaryfaye | E | Creature/Elizabeth Lavenza

I no longer claim to know why Victor said that I died that night. I believed once that I knew him, likely better than anyone in the world, but after that night we became strangers to each other in a way that we could not repair. Did he believe he was shielding his father and brother from a greater horror? Was it truly easier to face the notion of me dead, than me lost to him? Better a martyr, perhaps, than a saint defiled.

let them come and tear us free (we are bound eternally) by hilaryfaye | E | Creature/Elizabeth Lavenza/Victor Frankenstein

Victor speaks of me too kindly. I know this. He paints me as a saint because it is easier for him, I think. He imagines that he can make for himself a childhood that was innocent and guiltless, myself an angel found in humility. It is not true, of course.

[dreamsculptor]

A post about what I’ve been doing, and how I’ve been doing:

I got a job around July of last year. It’s right around the block from where I live, so I have essentially no difficulty showing up for my shifts. On top of that, the people I work with are all completely delightful and constantly show me that they care about me and my well-being, co-workers and managers alike.

To drive home the fact: my birthday passed in February. I requested my birthday off, and I got it, but when I came back to work for my next shift, my executive chef had literally bought a cake for me. After I got off my break and returned to the line, there was the Minions birthday song playing on the speakers. ( 😭 ) But my chef was standing at my station with the cake and candles in it for me.

My assistant general manager had also put a candle in a Hostess cupcake and brought it to me mid-rush as a gift:

I had a party on my birthday - which only about 4 or 5 of my friends were able to attend, but I’m grateful they did - and one of my coworkers gave me his two favorite books, Into the Magic Shop and The Obstacle is the Way. I finished ITMS recently and it was so outstanding it made me cry on numerous occasions. I have yet to start TOITW. I see why ITMS is one of his favorites, and I look forward to reading TOITW. I overwhelmingly recommend reading Into the Magic Shop (author James R. Doty, MD).

Do you remember Avery? and Mokushi? The story that Avery was originally part of has been slightly overhauled, and the previous owner of Mokushi transferred ownership of her to me. I’ve expanded the rest of the “TARDUS Crew” with 3 new characters - Renatas Monte, Emil Oberto, and Hường Hoa. I’ve started working on a few little pieces of writing for the TARDUS story itself, which can be found on the site, but I also expanded into Fallout 4 AU territory with “To Change and Not to Change” (subtitle What Grief Does to People, for the ridiculous acronym TCANTCWGDTP) which I have gotten heavily invested in. The stories of Mokushi, Emil, and Danse are outlined, and I have yet to write out Avery’s story. Hường also comes into play in Mokushi’s story, and I have plans to write out Mokushi and Hường’s initial meeting.

(Footnote for TARDUS/TCANTC: There’s an ‘incorrect quotes’ page on the TARDUS site. Very fun to read, and offers a quick depiction of the relationships between the characters/how they tend to interact with each other. “K” stands for me, Kepler, because I’m funny.)

All in all, only outlines taken into account, I have written ~7,500 words for TCANTC. I have also drawn a comic titled “Medical Attention” for one of the events in TCANTC, as well as a 3-chapter, ~8k word fic following TCANTC’s version of the Blind Betrayal quest from Fallout 4. It is available to read on my website, and also hosted on Archive of Our Own. (Don’t @ me, it’s still one of the best-constructed and high-traffic writing sites on the internet.) I’ve also commissioned Moth to build a site for me, which looks amazing - it can be found at a sub-link of his Neocities, here.

I’ve stayed close with a few of my friends from Tumblr, like Moth and Apollo. A few others have hovered around though I haven’t stayed in extensive close contact with them, like Hero, Isadora, and Jay. I’ve also made a variety of new friends, such as Capt, Xeno, Clymene, Shiny, and Hacksick. I’ve been spending a lot of time talking to - and doing writing sprints with - some slightly older, more experienced writers, who I will not name to maintain their anonymity. They don’t face publicly on the internet, and I expect they would appreciate me upholding that. I’ve also been making friends with my neighbors and the people in my community - who I also will not name, for my safety and their privacy. If I didn’t name-drop you directly, and you expected to be here - sorry! There’s a whole lot of people that come in and out, or who pop up for a conversation or two every once in a while, and I appreciate you just the same. ❤️

I also broke up with and cut off my ex-girlfriend who I mentioned at times in the past. She still lives near me, which I loathe, but I don’t cross paths with her very often, which I am grateful for. In her stead, I have been talking to and connecting with a variety of other trans people in my area. All around, it’s been good to fill my life with close friends and real people. I feel much more present, less isolated, much happier, and more fulfilled for it.

I have also been stepping up to do more volunteer work for the less fortunate people in my city and the surrounding area. There is a mission that I’ve started to work with weekly to distribute food to the homeless, and I personally take leftover food from work (that would normally get thrown away at the end of the day) to redistribute to the homeless people directly in my neighborhood.

The weather around here has also been steadily improving - less snow and more sunshine - and I look forward to when the days start getting warmer so I can return to rollerblading regularly. With my job being so close to my home (just about a mile), I greatly enjoy rollerblading to work when the weather permits. When the weather is too cold but the streets aren’t snowed over, I usually like to take an electric scooter. If there is snow outside, I tend to get a Lyft to work.

I also decided to make the bad wonderful decision to install Final Fantasy XIV, and I’ve sunk 80+ hours into it already. I’m completely taken with the story of it - though I haven’t even finished the storyline of A Realm Reborn (the ‘base game’) - and I greatly enjoy the photo mode that it offers. If anyone else plays FFXIV, I’m Syn Kepler on the Siren world on the Aether datacenter. I plan on making at least one more character, on a different datacenter, sometime in the future. It’s been a lot of fun.

I’ve especially fallen in love with Thancred Waters and Cid Garlond. My main character, Syn, is a male Au Ra with the height scale set to maximum, and everyone looks tiny compared to him. I love it. (Thancred is in the first picture, Cid in the second.)

All around, life has been good. Things have gotten weird at times, and pretty awful at others, but I find that they impact me much less nowadays. Even when I think about bad things, when I remember negative memories, when things go awry, the negative emotions I feel about them are an under-current compared to the joy of living my day to day life. I wake up in the mornings happy to start a new day, to talk to my friends, to see my co-workers, to work on the things that I love. The positives of my life, after 20+ years, finally outweigh the negatives. It makes me grateful that I survived the dozens of suicide attempts throughout my life, that I’ve finally made it to that ever-preached day that “it gets better.”

It really does get better. You might - if not most likely, will - suffer. Life will be shitty, sometimes. You’ll lose friends so close to you it makes you want to die, but after the fact, you will earn new friends that you find just as much joy with. Different changes in life will make different people happy - what made me happy was freedom, to move out of the South, to live on my own, to be able to cut and color my hair and dress all the ways that I want to. To live in a place that I do not constantly fear for my safety as a transgender, gender-non-conforming, nonbinary person. To work with people who accept me at face value and don’t harass me for being transgender, who don’t say transphobic things to my face and behind my back. To work in the kitchen, and not in the dining, to not deal with customers - who have often also been the perpetrators of harassment in the past.

I’ve updated my blog themes to contain the lyrics to Sunshine by Atmosphere (YouTube, Spotify) because it wonderfully reflects the joy I finally have in life.

In the words of Slug (the MC of Atmosphere), whom I love so dearly:

Every day that gets to pass is a success.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

A list of albums I’ve found and loved (Spotify links only):

Fight With Tools - FLOBOTS Cardboard Castles - Watsky When Life Gives You Lemons - Atmosphere God Loves Ugly - Atmosphere Knew School - Knowmads Prohibition Swing - Lyre Le Temps Power in Numbers - Jurassic 5 This Is How We Get Better - The Narcissist Cookbook

[meggie-stardust]

I posted 1,335 times in 2022

181 posts created (14%)

1,154 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@myletternevercame

@fantasmalresplendent

@teenwerewoofs

@feuer-bluete

@punchedbymarkesmith

I tagged 1,315 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#meg writes fic - 121 posts

#meg answers things - 80 posts

#meg watches teen wolf - 65 posts

#dracula daily - 31 posts

#steter - 31 posts

#count memeula - 28 posts

#says the girl with the elvish tattoo - 27 posts

#steter mini bang 2022 - 27 posts

#also doubles as an intro post - 26 posts

#fandom - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but familiar. you leave a valuable impression on those you meet. your humor is witty and smart and probably gets people to laugh so hard th

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

@steterweek Day 6: Epistolary elements. It took me like 5 mins to craft the "story" and then like an hour to make these dumb images, and I still got the date/time stamps messed up. OH WELL. Also, I of course, had to use these images that dropped this week. OBVIOUSLY.

Stiles goes on vacation without Peter

See the full post

45 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

#4

Friends, I'd like to present my @steter-bang 2022 fic and the stunning art by my partner @bettertasting. This is her first contribution to the TW/Steter fandom, and I am so damn lucky that she was my partner for this. Y'all have to tell her how amazing the art is so she keeps giving us Steter content. 💜

This fic wouldn't have gotten anywhere without the cheerleading from my co-mods @teenwerewoofs and @midmorning-bomb, and the words of wisdom and encouragement from @punchedbymarkesmith.

--

At This Truth We Have Arrived

After years of exacting revenge on the Argents for the murder of Laura, Peter returns to Beacon Hills only to be confronted by the truth that the pack has moved on without him. But the fact that everything he once knew has changed isn't necessarily a bad thing; not when there is someone like Stiles who is so full of possibilities.

OR as my WIP notes for this fic say: "Peter is curious. They do something. Murder murder. Sex sex."

“Okay, so the thing is, and I’m not criticizing you here,” Stiles says as they turn off the main road and onto a ranger access road, “but the thing is that when you got rid of all the Argents, some folks may have taken that as an invitation to, you know, take their place.” Peter slams on the breaks and turns to Stiles as the car skids to a halt on the dirt road. “Have you been dealing with other hunting families?” “Ugh, no,” Stiles says, rubbing at the spot where the seat belt tightened over his chest. “Not families. More like the odd vigilante.” “That’s still not great, but––” “Until now,” Stiles interrupts. “This one, Monroe, I think she might be a bigger problem if we don’t…” “Take care of her?” “Take care of. Murder. Po-tay-to. Po-tah-to,” Stiles says easily. “The point is she’s recruiting.”

Read At This Truth We Have Arrived and see the amazing art on AO3.

52 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

#3

"How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him when I had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to me! Beware how you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me."

200 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#2

Lucy writing to Mina like

2,889 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I know a ton of people have said this before but for the love everything PLEASE stop treating AO3 like instagram. It is NOT cringe to comment on an old story. It’s an archive old stories are still meant to be found and read. Please think about interacting with the fic you read: at least kudos if you read it, a comment would be ideal. The authors will be over the moon. I guarantee you not a single author is going to ask why someone is commenting on an older fic.

23,026 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dragodina]

Da bin ich wieder 🙃 Wenn du noch Lust hast:

3, 51, 56, 67 („Queerschläger“)

Boah, hab ich gerade eine halbe Ewigkeit gebraucht, um diese Frage wieder zu finden, ich sollte dann nachher ins Bett gehen 😅

Aber klaro, hab mega Lust drauf und immer wieder gerne 🥰❤️ Here we go again 🙂🙃✌🏼

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

For the majority of my life I have kept them to myself. Just wrote them down to get rid of them and clear my head. And eventually I had stopped writing for quite sometime.

But since seeing german crime show "Tatort" episode "Schattenleben" in July this year with currently my most favourite tv character Julia Grosz sparked something in me and I started writing again. And even uploaded it on AO3, scary as hell 🙈. So far, that journey continues and its a lot of fun 🥰❤️. For WIP's and ideas that I have mostly planned out but not yet shared, I find it really hard to not spill or spoil anything 😅😂🤭. I'm just so excited to upload new stuff and maybe see/hear what readers might feel or think about it.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

No, not really. In general, I like all things related to Julia Grosz and Tine Geissler. Then it can all vary from fluff to humor to crime to angst fics. In my writings, I try to find a nice mix of it all. So far I found my hang with some angsty/suspensy and emotional writing, that I like and enjoy to read very much 😊😅.

56. Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

As I tend to polish stories or chapters up anyway after publishing it, yes, all of them at one point 😅🙈. But after that, no, then I stick with the versions published.

That said, I'm a bit torn about the thought or lets say I think about writing maybe a version of "Last Chance" that stays closer to Julia Grosz original family backstory ... I haven't come to a decision yet though ... and how I would do that in the end ... but I have found myself thinking about that once in a while.

Would be interesting (from a readers point of view) to know if someone would be interested in that or if LC should just stay the way it is 😊 I'm not sure how, especially chapter 4, was taken by the readers, given the fact that I strayed so much from Julias original backstory. At the beginning I didn't really gave it much thought and didn't know much of her history than was known by what was shown of Julia through the episodes.

So I just thought for the story and since I wanted to also share another story that concentrates completely on the episodes and mostly canon facts, I just came up with her backstory on my own.

After I wrote and uploaded chapter 4 though I found an interview with FW where she said Julia grew up only with her father. So ever since then I'm wondering if LC would be different had I known that fact before, had I changed anything or something differently, had I stayed closer to that and would that change anything about LC. Or maybe I'm just really overthinking that way too much 😅😊.

67. If a fic was titled "Queerschläger", what would this story be about/how would you write it?

Phew, erm, nice of you to put further hints and ideas in my head. As if I hadn't yet enough of them. Without any particular ideas it's a bit hard to tell.

The way I know myself though, it would absolutely be a Tinia story, I would probably make it a bit of a fluff and humour one. About them meeting, spending time together, finding their way to each other. And bring in Falke just to mix it up a bit. And let him team up with Tine "against" Julia just to annoy her a bit more 😅 (I might have to come back to you about this questions when I had time to give it more thought 😅).

Oooor, in another universe, when Falke somehow somewhen has to retire, I would team up Julia with another young female superintendant with skills in profiling and forensics, who is also queer and who really likes to tease her with Tine (because in her heart she is a really big fan of Tinia herself 😅😂). The title would definitely be appropriate then ✌🏼.

(Well, whatever version, that screams for a story with exactly that title, doesn't it 😅🙈?)

Like always, that was really much fun 🙃🙂❤️ If you're not tired of this and your interested in some of the still unanswered questions feel free to ask some more 😊

I'm going to pick some new ones too soon 🙂

For now, have a wobderful sunday sind read you soon 🥰❤️

[rosemariiaa]

~Broken and Bound~

pairing: Paige x Oc

a/n: two fics, one week? i’m on a roll be happy. also ty to my baby ke for ranting with me, that anddd writing this much easier! happy reading lovelies 💌

themes: internalized homophobia, trauma, self- acceptance, angst

Enjoy!!!

Juli was exhausted. Physically, yeah, but it went deeper than that. Her muscles ached from volleyball practice, but the heaviness in her chest was worse. She trudged back to her dorm, earbuds in, but she wasn’t really listening to the music. The world around her was muffled, distant, while her thoughts were loud—too loud, and too familiar.

The anxiety had been there for years. Ever since she was a kid, living under the constant pressure of being perfect for her family. Her parents didn’t tolerate anything less. And for the longest time, she’d tried to meet their impossible standards—straight A’s, captain of the volleyball team, the picture-perfect daughter they could show off. But when Juli started figuring out who she really was, the fear crept in.

Her sister was the first to come out. Brave, proud even. Juli remembered how her parents reacted—shock at first, then disgust, followed by the cold, sharp anger that sliced through their home like a knife. Her sister was gone within days, sent away to some Christian boarding school halfway across the country. They never spoke about her again, like she’d been erased from the family entirely. Juli could still hear her mom’s voice in her head, laced with bitterness:

“She’s broken and disgusting. That will never happen in this family again.”

Juli was twelve then. And the message had been clear—if they found out about her, the same thing would happen. So she’d shoved it down, every crush, every feeling, every part of herself that didn’t fit into the box her parents wanted her in. She buried it deep, hiding it away in a place where even she had trouble finding it sometimes. But it was still there. And now, every time she got close to someone—close to Paige—she could feel that fear rising up, threatening to unravel everything.

She reached her dorm building, mindlessly scanning her keycard to get in. The smell of cheap coffee from the campus café lingered as she made her way up the stairs. She didn’t stop to chat with anyone, not that she wanted to. Being around people used to help, but now? It just reminded her of how much she was hiding.

And then there was Paige. The person who made it all more complicated, in both the best and worst ways.

Once inside her dorm, Juli dropped her backpack by the door, the familiar thud barely registering. She pulled off her volleyball shoes, changed into her old sweats, and tied her damp hair into a loose bun. She always tried to shake off the tension, but it never worked. Not fully.

Juli stared at the pile of snacks that she had bought the other day on the table—chips, soda, candy, all of it there because she knew Paige liked to munch on something when she came over. It was such a small thing, but it was the way Juli showed love. It was easy, unspoken, something she didn’t have to voice. She wondered if Paige noticed, though. If Paige saw the things Juli couldn’t say out loud.

A knock at the door pulled her out of her thoughts. It was Paige, leaning against the doorframe with that usual smile. Happy, carefree. Like nothing in the world could touch her.

“Hey, P,” Juli said, her voice soft as she stepped aside to let Paige in.

Paige tossed her backpack onto the floor, kicking her shoes off casually. “What’s up, babe?” Paige asked, slinging an arm around Juli’s shoulder before heading to the couch.

Juli gave her a small smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Just tired. You know how it is.”

“Yeah, I get that. I was gonna text you earlier, but figured you’d be in practice.” Paige grabbed a bag of chips and plopped onto the couch.

They didn’t talk much after that. Paige filled the space, like she always did, with her snacks and her soft humming to whatever tune played in her head. Juli sat beside her, scrolling aimlessly through her phone, but her thoughts were far from the screen. Her heart kept tugging in two directions—wanting to be close to Paige but also pulling away, afraid of what that closeness meant.

Because every time they were together, Juli’s mind was haunted by what happened to her sister. How their parents had turned on her in an instant. How they’d made her feel like she was dirty, wrong, and unworthy of love. That fear ran deep, like a scar she couldn’t heal from, and now it was dictating every move she made.

She could feel Paige’s hand brushing against hers now and then, the small contact sending her stomach into knots. How many times had she done this? Pushed Paige away, made her hide, made excuses for the world outside their little bubble? She didn’t mean to hurt Paige, but every time she flinched or pulled away, she saw it—saw the flicker of doubt on Paige’s face.

And the worst part? Paige never called her out on it. She just let it happen, again and again.

“You’ve got a crumb right here.” Paige’s voice broke through the silence, her thumb brushing lightly against Juli’s lip. It was such a simple gesture, but it made Juli’s heart skip. Paige wiped it away, her hand lingering for a second too long before pulling back, thumb brushing her own lip as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Juli’s breath hitched, her mind scrambling to catch up. Before she could think, before her fear could stop her, she leaned in. Their lips met softly, the kind of kiss that felt like it had been waiting all night. Paige’s hand slid to Juli’s waist, pulling her closer until Juli was straddling her, hands gripping Paige’s shoulders as the kiss deepened.

For a moment, everything else disappeared. The world outside didn’t matter—the hiding, the lies, none of it. It was just them, their breaths mixing, their hands tangled in each other’s clothes.

Juli melted into Paige’s lap, feeling her girlfriend’s hands steady on her hips, grounding her. They kissed slowly, like they had all the time in the world. Juli forgot about everything—the fear, the walls she’d built. It was just Paige, just them, and for a brief moment, she felt safe.

But then there was a knock. Juli didn’t hear it at first, too wrapped up in Paige, too wrapped up in the way Paige’s lips felt against hers. But then there were keys jangling outside the door, and Juli froze.

“Shit.” She pulled back quickly, heart racing. “P, you gotta go.”

Paige sighed, the frustration flashing across her face before she masked it with a tired nod. “Yeah, I know.” She was already off the couch, slipping into Juli’s room like she’d done a hundred times before.

Juli barely had time to fix her hair before Diane, one of her teammates, walked in. “Hey, Jules!” Diane said brightly, like she didn’t just interrupt something.

“Hey,” Juli responded, her voice tight as she gave Diane a quick hug. She was still catching her breath, trying not to look guilty as hell.

Diane glanced at the table full of snacks, raising an eyebrow. “Damn, who’s all this for? You having a party?”

Juli’s laugh was forced. “Nah, just… bought them.”

Diane frowned. “Wait, aren’t you on that diet thing this week? You’re not supposed to be eating this, right?”

Juli blinked, her stomach dropping. “Oh, yeah… right. Uh, it’s not for me. It’s for my friend.”

Diane didn’t press, just shrugged and grabbed her hoodie off the chair. “Cool. I’ll see you later then.” She smiled, heading toward the door.

Juli’s heart didn’t stop pounding until Diane was gone, and she immediately locked the door behind her. Her hands shook a little as she walked back to her room, pushing the door open to find Paige lying on her bed, scrolling through her phone like she hadn’t just been shoved out of sight.

“I’m sorry,” Juli whispered, her voice full of guilt. She always apologized, always said it like it would fix everything.

Paige didn’t look up. “It’s fine, Jules,” she said flatly, swiping at her screen. But her voice lacked its usual warmth. It lacked everything that Juli loved about her. Juli sat on the edge of the bed, her hands in her lap. “You could stay… I mean, Diane’s gone now. We’ve got the place to ourselves for the rest of the night.”

Paige’s eyes flicked up to meet hers, something unreadable there. “I’ve got early practice tomorrow. I should go.” Her voice was distant, and Juli knew it was a lie. Paige didn’t have practice until noon, but the truth was, Juli couldn’t blame her for lying. She knew she was making this harder than it had to be.

“Okay,” Juli whispered, her throat tight.

Paige stood, leaned down, and kissed the top of Juli’s head, the gesture sweet but tinged with sadness. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Juli croaked out.

And just like that, Paige was gone, leaving Juli alone in her dorm, her thoughts echoing louder than ever.

As soon as the door closed, the weight crashed down on her again.

The fear. The guilt.

She wanted to scream, wanted to cry, but most of all, she just wanted to be free from it all. Free from the lies. Free from the fear of who she really was.

But freedom felt so far away.

——

Paige’s POV

Paige shut the door behind her, standing in the hallway for a second. The lock clicked into place, and that was it—another night, same routine. She exhaled slowly, rubbing a hand over her face, before slipping her phone from her pocket. No messages, but that wasn’t a surprise. Juli was probably inside, pacing around her room, feeling guilty but saying nothing like usual.

Paige sighed, shoving her hands into her hoodie pockets as she started down the stairs. It was always like this. She knew the script by heart now: they’d kiss, maybe get a little carried away, then someone would show up or so Juli always thought and then she would freak out, and boom—Paige was shoved into the closet or bathroom like some dirty secret.

Tonight wasn’t any different.

She got it, though. She really did. Juli’s past was full of fear—of being found out, of what could happen if someone knew the truth. Paige had heard it all before. She didn’t fault Juli for being scared, but lately, the hiding had started to wear her down.

Paige reached the bottom of the stairs, pushing open the door and stepping into the cold air. It stung her cheeks, snapping her back to reality. As she walked to her car, her mind drifted back to the lie she’d told. “Early practice tomorrow”—classic excuse. Truth was, she didn’t have practice at all. She just couldn’t stay any longer.

Couldn’t stay and pretend like everything was fine when it wasn’t.

She unlocked her car and slid into the driver’s seat, hands gripping the wheel, her eyes on the quiet campus outside. Juli’s fear made sense. Paige wasn’t mad about it. But it was starting to feel like she was bending herself in ways she didn’t want to anymore. She was tired of lying—tired of making up excuses for why she had to leave before sunrise, tired of always being on edge whenever they were together.

Juli’s fear was valid, sure. But what about hers? Paige was starting to wonder if she was losing herself just to keep this thing going. Killing a part of herself just to keep Juli happy and by her side. It just kind of summed up how Paige is as a person.

She leaned back in her seat, staring at the dashboard. She could’ve stayed tonight. Could’ve said “screw it” and held Juli close until the sun came up. But why bother? Juli would’ve found a reason to pull away eventually. That was the routine.

Paige chuckled to herself, shaking her head. It wasn’t like she hadn’t known this going in. She knew what dating Juli meant—keeping things quiet, staying hidden. She was fine with it at first because all she wanted to do was just be with Juli, but now… now it just felt like a lot of pretending. Like she was always trying to convince herself that things were okay when they weren’t.

She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, her eyes unfocused. The thing was, she loved Juli. She really did. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. Sometimes you needed more than whispered apologies and quick kisses behind closed doors.

The engine rumbled as Paige started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. She didn’t really have anywhere to be, but driving felt better than sitting there with her thoughts. Better than admitting she didn’t know how much longer she could keep doing this—

losing little pieces of herself just to make it work.

———-

a/n: i would love to hear you guys thoughts on this and if you want a part two!! feedback is always welcome here 💌

tags: @thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner @sierrale8ne @ohbueckers @mrsarnold @absolutelydreadful @riyahtheballer