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bfiaflbox · 9 months

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- Endanovember -

Pairing: Matty Healy x female reader

warnings: swearing, smoking, shitty writing

Disclaimer: this is a one shot at the moment. It's kinda Christmas themed, completely unrelated to anything else. I just sat down and typed this out so no proofreading here.

The title is from that graham Norton interview where Matty forgets where the album comes out and Ross reminds him that it was "Endanovember". Bon Appetit.

I wrote a second part to this, but I don't like it yet, so let me know if you're even interested in a second part :)

Endanovember 2022

„Are you ok?“ he asks, kind of timid. We‘re sat in a tiny coffee shop just around the corner from where he lives.

„Yeah…“ I struggle to put my feelings into words „I guess I just feel a bit melancholic“

„About what?“

„Christmas? I don’t know. I love the lights and the vibes and the idea but the reality always disappoints.“, I let out a sigh. After Matty doesn’t say anything I continue. „We were discussing Christmas plans in the family group chat and… my brother is spending it at his in-laws, my mom is going on some yoga retreat or whatever and I haven’t spoken to my dad in three years, so I‘m just kind of… here I guess? I don’t know, I feel a bit left behind“ fuck, putting it into words makes it feel real and hurt even more. It’s triggering some deeply rooted insecurity, the feeling of not being loved. Tears prick at my eyes but I’m determined to not let them fall. Proper date that would be, him taking time out of his busy day just to sit here with his … what, situationship? Friend with benefits? to cry about her disfunctional family.

He reaches out and takes my hand, his thumb drawing circles on the back of my hand. He doesn’t say anything at first. He seems to be lost in thought for a bit then says: „You could come home with me.“

„Are you inviting me for afternoon sex? Because I’m not averse to that idea“ I joke

„Nooo, I mean yes, but I was talking about Christmas. Come home with me to spend Christmas with me and my family.“

„What? Don’t you think that’s a bit much to bring your current fling to the family Christmas celebrations?“

„Fling??“ he looks at me kind of confused and hurt. He lets go of my hand.

„… I mean, yeah??“ now I’m not sure anymore. To be fair we haven’t talked about what this thing between us is. To say I liked him would be the understatement of the century but I definitely wasn’t his girlfriend. I met his mates and we spend as much time together as our schedules will allow but he’s a busy man, probably not just with music-related things. I never allowed myself to hope that this was an exclusive thing.

„No! What? Do you think that‘s what this is?? That‘s bullshit!“

I get the feeling I just fucked this up royally.

„I just…“

„Have you been seeing other guys?“ he interrupts me.

„No! I just thought that we haven’t talked about what this is and…“ I’m lost for words.

„Nine months! We see each other every chance we get, we speak every day, you know all my mates, I take you to every event as my plus one, I tell everybody you’re my girlfriend and you think this is just a fling??“

„I don’t know? there hasn’t been a single conversation about this!!“ I’m annoyed that he’s getting mad at me.

„I need a smoke“ he gets up, grabs his coat and leaves.

What the fuck just happened?? I stay seated for a few moments, then decide to go home, too. Fucking asshole, leaving me here like this.

I put on my coat and step outside into the cold late November air. Matty is pacing on the sidewalk in front of the cafe, cigarette in hand, looking upset. Apparently, he did not leave, he did indeed just need a smoke. I kind of feel guilty for doing him wrong like that, even if it was just in my head.

When he sees me, he stops for a second, looks at me and goes „Ok you know what? You’re right, we haven’t talked about this. Let’s talk about this.“

„Can we maybe not do that on the sidewalk?“

„Fine. Let’s go to my place."

He grabs my hand and starts walking. I want to yell three or four different things at him at the same time. I want to ask him where he finds the audacity to be mad at me, why the fuck are his hands this wonderfully warm when it’s freezing cold outside and also I want to beg him to let us fix this because it’s a good thing, whatever it is. But I stay quiet, walking beside him, down the street to his place.

Once we’re inside, I blurt out „I really don’t get why you‘re mad at me because…“ I don’t get to finish my sentence because Matty has pushed me against the wall of his hallway and is kissing me like a starved man. My anger is wiped away instantly and I want nothing else but to feel his lips on my lips, forever. Still, my hands find their way into his lovely soft curls. I make a fist and tug at the strands they grab, admittedly in an attempt to hurt him a tiny little bit.

He groans, breaks away and rasps „Kindly, shut the fuck up, I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself for not making it clear enough to you that I fucking love you“ Excuse me, what?

„Excuse me what?“

He huffs out a laugh „Yeah you heard me“

I‘m glad I have the wall for support because right now I’m not sure I would be able to hold my balance. I kind of want to ask him if he‘s taking the piss but think better of it. All I do is look at him while trying to process what just happened.

„Darling, you‘re the kindest, funniest, most compassionate person. You feel so true and reliable and safe. I know I'm not the easiest person to be with but I can leave some of the heavy things behind when I'm with you. And you’re so. Fucking. Sexy“ he kisses me again and I get it. I get it because I feel the same way. Being with Matty feels like coming home to a good place where someone actually gives a fuck. Yes, we are having a great time whenever we hang out, I just thought he didn’t feel remotely the same. But he‘s here, I‘m not making this up, this is actually happening.

„Could’ve said something earlier, Idiot“ I whisper as we break the kiss for air.

„I should have, shouldn’t I?“

I nod. „That would’ve been clever“

„Yeah“ he agrees.

„Yeah because... turns out I love you too and we could’ve had this all along“

„You could’ve said something, too, you know?“ he lets out a soft laugh

„And what, completely humiliate myself?“

„Hey, no kink shaming“

We both burst out laughing and I playfully swat at his chest. Matty hugs me in return and I feel like I'm finally home.

#matty fic #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #this is not good but you still get to read it #bon appetit #Matty Healy fanfic #the1975fanfic

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kenzie-the-drawer · 1 year

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Hello all my followers! I have an update

Been a while since I posted on here 😅

But, I just wanted to tell all of you that I might not be posting on Tumblr anymore, or at least not has much.

I’ve been going through some anxiety and self doubt issues with my art lately. Or even for many months. Which I’ve stopped posting for my mental health. That’s why you guys haven’t really seen many art posts from me.

I just felt like I was in some kind of art block. Where all I drew was Cars and Finland art, which I still do like to draw, but I just felt like it was kinda stopping me from making original pieces I actually wanted to do. Adding to the fact was going interest into different fandoms, and kinda losing interest in the Cars fandom.

So, I took a break from posting in order to try and experiment many things without the pressure of people liking or hating it. But, I now feel like I’m at a right place of mind to start posting original pieces. However, I want to start doing it on a different platform due to this account mostly being covered of Finland stuff I kinda want to move away from.

So, I’m now moving onto Instagram. I might not be posting so often, as I’m still trying to get some confidences to post again because I do want many people to see my art. You guys have no idea how much you make me smile with your reblogs, likes, and comments that I can’t even put into words. Having many of you loving art pieces I didn’t even personally like lol. So, it mean so much to me for many people to see my other art too.

So, for any of you who are interested, my Instagram is @kenzie_the_drawer, with all the spaces and it’s a public account.

Again, thank you all for always supporting me and loving all the art I do. You guys give me so much confidence I wish I can give to myself lol. But, I’m now moving on to another path in hopes for a good future for me.

Thanks again. I’ll love you all ❤️

P.S. Don’t worry, I’ll still have tumblr to look around. But, I just won’t be posting anymore. So, you’re still free to message me and comment on my stuff if you want. Yeah, kinda got a little depressing at the end lol

#update #art

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taelonsamada · 2 years

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2022

Saw @dominimoonbeam do this and thought it was a fantastic idea, not only to remind myself how much I’ve accomplished this year, but also set goals for myself for 2023!!

2022 was an INSANE year for me lol I had discovered redacted late November/early December 2021, but REALLY sank into the fandom around March 2022, and the people I met in that fandom were all amazing and wonderful and insanely supportive. Thanks to that support, I finally delved back into the world of fanfiction for the first time in almost twenty years, and the response has been…. Well, I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve cried several times when seeing how people have responded to my silly little stories lol On top of the fanfiction, the fanart and the response people have given it have not only had me drawing more and thereby increasing my drawing skills, but my commissions have skyrocketed, which has allowed me to tame some bills that were hanging over my head (AND YES I AM AWARE THAT I STILL HAVE SEVERAL COMMISSIONS WAITING, I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN THEM, I PROMISE 😭) And as if the craziness weren’t enough there, I even got to travel to Boston and meet one of the amazing friends I’ve made in person, and while there I achieved a decade long dream of getting to see the Final Fantasy concert Distant Worlds!! 🥰

Progress was made here at the camp, too!! We finally got new batteries, which means we’re able to operate more solely on solar, which allows us to consume less gas and thereby save money AND be less dependant on outdated resources! Frustratingly, the mine got a 3 year extension, but that just means three more years of telling the government where they can stick it, so more chances to stir up some drama lol

And of course, this year I’ve also finally achieved the dream I’ve had since I was 9 and published my first book!!!! What. WHAT. And on top of that, you all have been wonderful about that book, and very supportive 😭 I am a legit different person in an entirely different place than I was in December 2021, and I just cannot believe it. And I have every intention of making sure 2023 is just as wonderful lol

Goals for 2023:

Finish writing Tarnished Truths, the sequel to Silvered Scars

Edit and polish Tarnished Truths

POSSIBLY publish Tarnished Truths (depends on how long editing and polishing takes)

Write the third book in the series (which will be following Reid, the Alpha of the pack from Silvered Scars)

Finish writing Between You, Me & The Fence Post

Finish Return to Shore

Put a dent into my Redacted WIP file

Make more art (definitely been more focused on writing the last few months)

Save up enough money to begin building my own cabin out here in the woods

Again, I wanna thank each and every one of you who’s been along with me for this insane ride, and I hope you’ve had fun on this journey! It’s far from over, and 2023 is definitely gonna be an interesting year!!

#2022 wrap up #on to 2023!!#jeez seeing it all written out like that #a lot really happened in 2022 huh #LOL it’s been such a crazy year

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richardsgraysons · 10 months

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Hiii, wanted to do a matchup

I’m curly haired, with green/grayish eyes. I’m creative and love anything that has to do with art. I love to paint and draw. I love music, I play several instruments (like piano and violin), and listen to music like all the time. I love to read, specially classic literature and poetry, I have even written dos poems and short stories, that’s how I express myself. I’m really smart and I really like to learn, I have a great interest in science. I love to watch performances, like ballet or gymnastics and ice skating, would love to participate in one.

I think my biggest issue is with identity, specially because I’m a child of immigrants, so thing haven’t always been easy. I’m really stubborn and put others before myself and push others to open up, but hate to do it myself.

DICK GRAYSON

you love watching gymnastics, ballet, and ice skating? you’re in luck! you know he’s talented on all those and more. he’ll even teach you the steps if you want

you guys go on gym dates and stuff like that. but it’s more like he does a lot of extremely cool calisthenics and your jaw drops as he contorts his body to the most vile position ever and you have to remind yourself that that’s a man

dick’s also struggled with identity before—he had lost his parents and he was the original robin. his siblings were lucky that he had everything figured out. he didn’t know who he was outside of robin and the flying graysons

so a lot of late night trauma bonding where you’re cuddling together. he’s big spooning all the time

the two of you work on your hyperfixations together. one of your dates is almost about what you’re currently interested in for as long as you want. most of the time, he just sits back and lets you all

he likes reading your short stories. if you want, he’ll give you feedback on it!! he’ll hang it up on the refrigerator too up on magnets 🫶🫶 ultimate love language

#dick grayson #dc comics

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mia-solastasia · 1 year

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Anatase: Diamond Dog Sona [Jun 28 2015]

This piece is outdated, made for a defunct project. The information bellow is also obsolete musings.

I would like to describe to you the achievement I've made with this, and why this is. This is a lot of overthinking, by the way.

Any depiction of myself is ridiculously important to me. It doesn't matter if it's for MLP or Pokemon or my own original projects. I work hard to ensure I get the best depiction possible. Sometimes I focus too much on the negative and uglify things more than I should, so I have to try to balance that out with positive. But at the same time, I don't want to merely show in a 'sona what I want to be, but who I am. I'd honestly rather she have red eyes or some more interesting color rather than brown, and I was truly tempted to go through with it. My streak lately has been on stylizing and prettifying the bumps in my appearance. (Mostly my hair, which has gradually gotten less curly in my depiction and now depicts me with bangs I don't actually have in real life and would likely find a pain in the ass) Not just because I dislike them, but because it's sometimes necessary for my sanity in creating the art. Simplifying things like hairstyle to make it easier to draw is just as much of a concern. Not only that, but I don't want to prefer the appearance of any other character and come to prefer the too much to represent me. I tend to be extremely fickle in that regard. Something has to be pretty enough to represent me as well, and I won't accept things bellow a certain very unpredictable level of aesthetics.

So a balance must be achieved. Between depicting myself as I am physically, and depicting beauty that is easier for me to draw and something I want to attach myself to. One thing I'll probably never try to go as far as is to remove the color of my hair and eyes. These traits are recognizable, and whilst I think they're so plain and ordinary, they stand out in a sea of people trying to be special with crazy colors. Also, it matches the color scheme a lot better.

Why a Diamond Dog anyway though?

At first, I tried redrawing yet another redesign of my ponysona. I liked it at first, but then... something felt wrong. I've drawn so many ponies over the years and it just seemed... like even though I think ponies are really pretty, my appearance could not be applied to one properly to both appeal to my beauty and be semi-accurate. I struggled with a lot of thoughts of color schemes, accessories, and most of all, hair-style. Whilst I like ponies in accessories, they honestly look better with very few. However, distinguishing me requires several accessories that are red, as I was not willing to make the main body red so as not to kill my eyes.

o I went somewhere completely different. I thought about other species in Equestria that might fit me, and this was the best I could get to. A bit flimsy due to the fact that they've only been depicted in one episode as a bunch of Diamond-stealing rogues and ruffians, but the concept was sound enough. A canine-like creature with gigantic pawlike hands and a penchant for the crystalline and jewels. I have identified with canines a lot over the years and haven't quite shaken that yet, and also think they're more fitting than an equine (even an extremely stylized cartoon equine) after doing some re-thinking. And I have a penchant and flare for crystals and gems. Also, the large hands fit me as I am very VERY hand-oriented, and I could not imagine life with the hooves of a pony, to be honest. I love being a biped with hands. It seems like unicorn magic just wouldn't be the same as the sensation and fine control of a pen in my hand to do my art.

Also, Diamond Dogs wear clothes and accessories by default. Also very fitting.

Of course, I had to do some... guesswork and modification to make a Diamond Dog fit my specifications of beauty whilst keeping the design looking like it would reasonably be fitting of a female. In case you're unsatisfied with that though, she comes from a different clan of dogs than the Diamond Dogs, so some differences in their appearances make sense. (More on that later, as I said.)

And the design is symbolic of how I feel in the brony community. Just kind of like I'm a part of it, but I'm still pretty damn different from a lot of others I see. I'm not a pony at heart, and I don't feel like I'm a huge fan of the show, but I'm still here, making this art, and caring about what's going on in the community and show. The ponies keep drawing me back in, even though I'm essentially a different species, and I guess that's because there's just something about them I can't resist. It's perfect.

Overall, I have unintentionally hit a cord with this design. A very strongly resonating cord. Unlike any ponsona I've ever had or even the Valstaens I've tried to design, something about this feels... correct. It feels right.

I hit all the right marks and created something that will be easy to redraw whilst still appealing to me immensely. I think part of the reason is because this style and this particular design reminds me of one of my most played and cherished games, Final Fantasy IX. It fits its aesthetic very well.

Honestly, I'm contemplating switching my default style to a more chibi-ish style or something similar to my MLP style except with shading. I think part of the reason it resonates with me so much is because this wasn't even that hard to draw, and other than many distractions along the way, it didn't take long to complete on its own. It flowed naturally, something that hasn't happened with my attempts at my "real" art style in a while. I guess I should just consider MLP my default style. Just kind of give it up, and let it happen. I enjoy drawing in MLP-style. It's immensely appealing, and whilst it sometimes takes me a long time to imitate vector quality lines (if I get too obsessed, like I do sometimes), the way it looks is just not only really good, but it's... something I can manage without wanting to tear my head off. I think I'll stick with this. And I'll probably base my Valstaen heavily on this design. I already had a design for her before, but it's probably going to be changed now that I've let this happen.

This piece is just so beautiful to me. Not because it has the biggest amount of effort, or my best anatomy, or even my most dynamic pose. But because of how it resonates with me. I look at it, and that feels just like me. And that is not something I've managed to achieve in a long time, and not ever to quite this intensity. I can't explain it. It it just my best work because out of all my works, this one comes from my heart, and this one says what's in my heart because it wasn't a slog or a huge effort. This flowed from my fingertips so effortlessly and wasn't something I constantly revised, but something that I drew on the first try, fixed up a bit, and then went straight to coloring. That is very rare for my depictions of myself. All that sounds stupid, I realize. It doesn't have to make sense to you. All that matters is that it is, and I'm happy about that.

#diamond dog #sona #mlp #my little pony

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wyxan · 9 months

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Fandom Resolution: identify my likes and dislikes

Being a full person with likes and dislikes that I know and share is something I have to work at. So I’m keep a list (and checking it often 😊). It’s time to move from being what I think people want me to be to trusting them with my actual human self 💜

Likes:

Fandom friends - the hype for posts/ideas and encouragement for WIPs and mutual unapologetic excitement and insight and advice and community. Yeah, love you, you talented bunch!

DC / Marvel crossovers - why choose??

Rare pairs - or basically writing any dynamic based on how interesting it has the potential to be.

Comedy / banter - I’ve really enjoyed creating back-and-forth moments and leaning in to characters that I think are funny and like to tease.

Developing head-canons, building out characters, and self-indulgence - I’m really enjoying my MJ in the Sunrise series. My idea is that she’s on the ace spectrum (like she feels the way she does about Peter because she knows him thoroughly), devoted to Peter (as he is to her), and completely non-judgemental about his desires (even if she will take longer time to consider her own role and might never move from where she is now at all). If she can see Peter wants something that he isn’t sure he can have, and she can ease that, she’s going to do it.

Taking part in events - reading everyone’s fics and commenting and sharing ideas, argh. It was my first time experiencing that in fandom and it was just such a joy.

Charcoal portraiture - I’ve never done anything like that baby Jason piece before and it was SO enjoyable. It’s probably 10 hours of work over 2 days and I literally loved them all. I didn’t know I could do that, it was fab. Also engaging with a character and their story to decide how to draw them: he’s hungry, he’s tired, he’s scared, he’s angry, he’s ready to fight, he’s only about 12 - I love him even more.

Dislikes:

Smut?? - Not sure if I dislike it, but smut was harder than I thought it would be to write, and I felt very self conscious about the lack of feedback. It’s hard to know if that’s because it was bad and people politely moved on or if there was less of an audience for it / public audience. I don’t think I enjoyed how I went about trying to write it, I think maybe in future I’ll try a) PWP to take the pressure of a storyline off (like these characters are already in universe together, let’s just move on), or b) a multi chapter fic where I mostly focus on the storyline and if smut feels like it adds something I’ll include it or write a side fic for it.

Not having a beta reader - the first fic I posted was so kindly beta’d by noxnthea and she made the whole process genuinely exciting and definitely improved the final output. I wrote the next one very late for the deadline and then the E rated fic I got weirdly shy about so I just posted them. It lets all the nerves creep in and puts a lot of pressure on AO3 stats! And on that vein…

AO3 stats page (/tumblr notes) - I’m not judging myself for wanting engagement because it’s very human to want connection. I do think I got a bit too keen on repeatedly checking my engagement stats when I wasn’t getting comments or kudos, and second-guessing everything. I can’t mind-read how people use AO3/tumblr and I need to try not to set myself arbitrary targets or to assume that low engagement means those seeing it aren’t enjoying it. However I have been pleased that I haven’t forgotten how much I enjoyed the creation process even after posting.

#fandom resolution #xan is recovering :)

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kenobster · 1 year

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I haven’t seen you post anything on ao3 since July, did I miss something??? (referring to your zero notes zero kudos post)

No, you didn't miss anything on my ao3. I've just been going through an Anakin whump phase on my tumblr lately (with answers to asks and miscellaneous posts and fanart -- some of which I already deleted when they got 0 notes, including a fanart I posted today. So even if you go looking, you wouldn't find all of them). So because of that, whether or not it's true, it personally feels like ppl aren't interested in certain things I'm excited about (tho the like.... three or four people who have shown interest, tyvm). And I'm really grateful to everyone who has read my fics on ao3. If I didn't have that huge bewildering amount of support to fall back on, I'm sure I'd be a lot worse off. So I greatly appreciate that. And at the very least, if all else fails, my mom will show support for all of my posts/fanart/fics lmao. Anyway, so I'm well aware lots of ppl dont have those things to rely on, so I'm hella not trying to take them for granted. ❤️ I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that so many people have said such kind and heartfelt things about my writing.

But there are certain things I still carry a lot of shame for liking. No one could ever make me feel ashamed about 5PE, but my biggest dream is to one day draw Anakin dubconnishly sucking Palpatine's dick. And my favorite fic universe to fantasize abt rn is the Vader Mpreg one. And those are things I do feel ashamed for liking at times. So when those are the things I post (currently on tumblr) that get 0 attention (esp when other things are getting attention), it sorta starts to reinforce the shame I'm already feeling.

Like, I spent 8 hours yesterday drawing that fanart I posted (which I deleted a few minutes ago). I skipped dinner and stayed late at work for 2 hours on Friday to finish writing this post on my work computer (bc my personal pc crashes if i try to make tumblr posts). Did I make either post to get notes? No. It was fun for me. Just the process of it was fun for me. I enjoyed myself so much!!! Totally worth it.

But do I regret posting them publicly instead of just keeping them for myself and my friends? ... Honestly, yeah, I kinda do.

Probably people did like the posts but are afraid to be seen liking things so dark and deranged. And like, that's okay, because I'm brave, I'm super brave, and I will be the first to post any deranged content out of any group of people. But I have limits, too. And if people are willing to read 5PE or shadow AU but not willing to read about Vader's uterus, then I start to feel less brave. :/ And I start to become demoralized over other things too.

Like, I was set to post chapter 10 of 5PE this weekend, but I haven't been able to work on it. Every Shadow, being less dark, is even harder to work on. Because if my perception is that ppl find me sick and grotesque and deranged for my most fucked up ideas (that's my perception, not necessarily reality), then it hurts to have my tamer content be supported instead.

Is that fair to yall? No, not at all. Am I trying to guilt trip anyone? Absolutely not. It's just a current unfortunate reality that's bumming me out, and there's not much anyone can do to change it. I just gotta let the feelings run their course.

Anyway thanks for reaching out anon. I feel better having been able to air all of this. Though I'll probably still step away to some extent (how long? who knows. The depressive episode will decide. But prob not for that long.

#sorry for mistakes i typed this on my phone #kb post #reply #anon

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luminashdawnwing · 2 years

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November DWC 2022 Day 1: Instinct / Neglect

“Do you ever get bored, Goldleaf? Tired of all the papers coming in that you have to catalog, all of the magisters and magistrices crying out for the personal touch of a clerk, your stamp of approval on their work going into the archives?”

Luminash spoke idly, a smirk playing at his lips. He leaned against the back of a chair - scarcely deigning to sit and chat in the Magistry clerk’s office - but remaining after his work was done to wag his tongue all the same. Somewhat, perhaps, like a cat, satisfied that his incessant meowing had obtained him his dinner, offered the opportunity for his caretaker to stroke his back before wandering off again.

The clerk, adjusting his glasses as he peered at yet another one of Luminash’s requests for placement of work into the archives, exhaled a bone-weary sigh.

“Magister, no day you stop by my office is ever boring. That said, the frequency of these visits in the past years has been...” He trailed off, fishing for the right word, “Concerning.” He looked up at the magister, who still wore something of a smug grin, “Do you ever sleep with the rate you’ve been seeking publication?”

“Oh, of course I do! The sheer number of unfinished, abandoned work I have had the time now to complete has no doubt contributed to that perception, though."

Goldleaf flipped a page, his eyes only barely avoiding glazing over entirely. The magister could never simply say something. He had to ramble it, as if speaking with too few words would make him look stupid.

“I haven’t seen any joint reports with the Reliquary come in lately,” the clerk replied, preparing his next barb, “Have they finally cut off access to their Titan collection? Or perhaps stop replying to your requests for collaboration?” He couldn’t help but quirk a smile, even if it was wiped quickly away as he turned another page.

The magister barked out a laugh, “Nothing of the sort! It’s just that they’ve become so...boring! It’s all the same digsites, Goldleaf, or catching up on a backlog of artifacts. And that is good, of course, I’ve been doing the same, but there’s nothing new!” He shrugged, shaking his head, “They have filled in their map, but they neglect new horizons.”

Peering over his glasses, Goldleaf let a smile spread across his face, “So you don’t know? Oh, I have news for you then, Magister.” He tapped the papers on the desk to straighten them, “First, that I am signing off on the publication of your next volume of the History of the Elven Peoples. Second, that I have a letter from one Ms. Rivergleam that you may find interesting.”

Luminash’s ears twitched, eyes widening in excitement, “Rivergleam? Was she not one of those sent to Orgrimmar?”

Goldleaf nodded, “To possibly meet with ambassadors of dragonkind, yes.” The clerk pulled a folded parchment from his desk and offered it to the magister, “She sent a batch of letters to the Magistry, to be distributed to certain chosen scholars by illustrious clerks such as myself.”

“And one is for me, I take it?” Luminash leaned forward, no longer leaning against the wall, the promise of a new horizon drawing him in. The world was, of course, at peace, and peace was a thing of beauty, an opportunity scarcely afforded to mortals, but was it not also stagnation?

The clerk offered a folded parchment, but snatched it away before Luminash could grab it, flashing a grin, “It is yours, yes, on one condition.”

The magister scowled, though it did not reach his eyes. Truly, the bureaucracy of Silvermoon would be unbearable if not for bothering the clerks, “Name it, Goldleaf.”

“You will now be putting a second volume of your elven history on the shelves of our archives, and yet you’ve numbered them volumes two and three. What is the first?”

Luminash snatched the parchment and laughed loudly, “Oh, I thought you’d never ask!” The magister made to leave, calling out over his shoulder as he left the cluttered office behind, “Why, the very beginning. One cannot have elves without our troll forebears, can we?”

“Magister! Wait! You know how much a fight that will be to publish here! Magister!”

Goldleaf only sat, stunned, as Luminash’s laughter echoed down the hall.

@daily-writing-challenge

#novemberday12022 #novemberdwc2022 #luminashdawnwing #the return of Luminash's favorite Magistry clerk

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hellfireclubmember3 · 1 year

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Had so much fun writing the most recent chapter of my bad batch fic! If you’re looking for a hunter x reader story where the reader is a Jedi on the run, consider checking out the rest of my story on wattpad. I update it multiple times a week.

On The Run

Chapter 6

The Bad Batch and I had been hiding out on our little oasis for a few days now. Over the past few days, I had felt the most calm that I had in a long time. With the clones around me, I felt protected and safe. Even though there were people looking for all of us, we were together and were going to look out for each other. In fact, I had grown quite close to the clones over the recent days.

Each clone was unique in their own way, each having different tendencies and quirks that made them special. Echo was kind and resourceful, always standing up for what was right. Tech was honest and clever, never afraid to share the facts, even if to a fault. Wrecker was funny and sometimes childish, but in a way that brought joy to those around him. Omega was curious and compassionate, sometimes getting into trouble because of it. And Hunter… Hunter was the most interesting of all.

I was drawn to Hunter in a way that I knew could potentially be problematic. He was a fierce protector, a loyal friend, and a strong leader. All honorable, and attractive, qualities. As a Jedi, I was taught to let go of attachments as fear of those losing those attachments can lead to a path to the dark side. But lately, those attachments have become my motivation to keep going during these difficult times. I have felt more alive in recent days, happier since joining this interesting crew. Instead of letting go of these feelings, I found myself wanting to embrace them. But that’s not what Jedi do. So I found ways to keep them out of my mind, but not fully cutting myself off from them.

It had been a quiet few days and some members of the group were getting a bit restless. “I want to explore. See the sights!” Omega complained.

“It’s not safe, Omega.” Hunter explained. “It’s too risky.”

Omega let out a long sigh. “But I’m sick of sitting around here. And we haven’t noticed any signs of the Empire, why can’t we just go into the town for a quick visit and come right back?”

Although I agreed with Hunter, Omega’s argument was appealing. It had become rather boring and seeing something new would be a good change of pace. Despite my better judgment, I decided to go out on a limb. “I could take Omega into town.”

“No.” Hunter replied immediately.

“Come on, Hunter. You can’t expect her to sit around in hiding for the rest of her life. If just she and I go into town, we can easily keep from drawing too much attention to ourselves.” Hunter opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him. “And we can handle ourselves, can’t we, Omega?” Omega nodded assuredly.

Omega and I looked at Hunter with hopeful eyes. He sighed, “Fine, but don’t be gone too long and keep your coms on.”

Omega jumped up and gave him a hug. “Thanks, Hunter! I promise you won’t regret it!”

***

Omega and I walked through the village, stopping at different stands set up in their small market area. With my hood on, I made sure no one was able to get too close of a look at me. Although this was meant to be a leisurely trip, I found myself in a defensive mode. Constantly scanning my surroundings, making sure that no one approached either of us. Always keeping an eye on Omega, making sure she was safe.

We had decided that it was probably time for us to head back to camp when a large shadow loomed over the market. Looking up, I saw the underbelly of what appeared to be a pirate ship that was making its way to land. I grabbed Omega by the shoulder and pulled her into the closest alleyway. We watched the pirates disembark and my heart dropped into my stomach.

The group of pirates casually walked into the marketspace, clearly having been here many times before. The villagers handed over credits and items without question, but with obvious disdain. Leading the group was a confident looking weequay by the name of Hondo. He and I had had a few run-ins during the clone wars. On many occasions, he had helped the Jedi, but was also known to do whatever would benefit him the most. With a bounty of my head, I knew that he would only view me as a goldmine.

While I had been contemplating an escape plan in the event Hondo saw me, Omega must have been realizing what was happening to the villagers. “This isn’t right…” she whispered. Outwardly upset by the arrangement the pirates had with the locals. Soon after, a disagreement broke out between one of the pirates and a young villager.

Within seconds, the villager was shoved to the ground as the pirates ransacked his stall. I went to grab Omega, to pull her further away from the action, but to my horror she had run out towards the commotion. “Leave him alone!” She demanded, standing between the villager and the pirates.

“What do we have here?” Hondo stepped forward and motioned to Omega. “A little mouse that has lost her way.” The pirates in his crew laughed scornfully. “Step aside, girl.” Hondo said more seriously now.

Omega drew her energy bow, “No.”

“Foolish child.” Hondo sneered. “Remove her.” He commanded his pirates.

Before making one of the most foolish decisions of my life, I spoke into the com device that Tech had rigged together for me, “Get to the town now and ready the ship. Things are about to get messy.” Hunter’s panicked voice came over the com device, but I turned it off before I changed my mind. I steadily moved my lightsaber from my pocket to my hip, readying it in case the worst happened.

“Do not lay a hand on her.” I yelled, my voice carrying over the commotion of the moment. Hondo turned and our eyes met. Surprise covered face first with a greedy look following before it returned to his unsettling calm charm.

“Long time no see, my Jedi friend.” He called to me. Shocked whispers rang through the crowd that had formed. I placed my hand on my lightsaber. “I would ask what you’ve been up to, but in light of recent events, I’m sure I could take a guess.”

“Leave the girl alone, Hondo.” I demanded.

Hondo ignored my request. “I’m sorry for what happened to you and your friends, you know.”

I took a deep breath, easing my nerves and emotions that were boiling up inside of me. “Let her go, now.”

He threw his hand to his chest, feigning hurt. “No small talk? No catching up? You’re not happy to see an old friend?”

All I could think about was getting Omega to safety. Even if it meant risking my own life, or my capture. His crew were growing antsy, things were escalating and I would do what needed to be done. I drew my lightsaber, “I’m not going to ask you again.”

Any amusement on his face vanished. “I have a better idea. You, in exchange for the girl.”

As our showdown was reaching its zenith, a familiar figure moved from out of the crowd and stood in front of me. “I’m afraid that won’t be an option.” Hunter said, his blaster pointed right at Hondo.

If Hondo was nervous, he didn’t show it. “I like these new friends of yours, Y/N, they’re feisty.” He smiled, pausing to take in what he thought would be his triumph. “I’m afraid it has to end this way. Truly I am, but business is business.” He said darkly, and signaled his pirates to move in.

“Now!” Hunter yelled, and immediately smoke bombs exploded, covering the area in dark smoke. Hunter grabbed my arm, pulling me towards his escape route.

“What about Omega?”

“Don’t worry, Wrecker and Echo got her.” Hunter assured me.

Within moments, we heard Echo’s voice over the com channel, “We’ve got Omega.”

“And I’ve got Y/N. Tech, meet us at the rendezvous.”

“On my way.” Tech responded.

As Hunter and I ran around a corner, we reunited with Wrecker, Echo, and Omega. The five of us continued our maneuvers with Hunter leading the way. The whir of the Marauder’s engines sounded from above as Tech moved into position. We boarded the ship as quickly as we could. I took one last look towards the village and locked eyes with Hondo. To my surprise, he saluted me and turned back to his crew. He always kept me guessing, I’d give him that.

#fanfiction #bad batch #hunter bad batch #tbb fic #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb tech #sw tbb #tbb wrecker #star wars tbb #tbb omega #tbb #the bad batch #hunter x y/n #clone force 99 #clone wars #the clone wars #hondo ohnaka

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tiredassmage · 2 years

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15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thank you for the tag @captainderyn!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Possibly a great, great(?) grandmother I never had the chance to meet, via middle name, though it’s been... probably at least a decade since I heard that tatter and I’m not sure how correct it is, lol. I’m... not particularly close to a vast majority of the family, tbh, given Drama(TM). Mom picked by meanings though. I know that was very important to her.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I... think I cried a little about a week and a half ago in one of my classes. Not because the class, I promise, lol. We watched the pilot episode of a show called Station Eleven in class and that was a gut puncher.

3. Do you have kids?

No, thank you. My pets and my OCs are all I need, lol. Very ace. Not my personal cup of tea.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Mmmm. I wouldn’t say regularly. It has its moments and I’m sure I was a bit more brutal with it when I was a kid, but its purpose isn’t generally helpful in areas where I need to communicate. I think most of the things I say sarcastically now are probably in regards to fictional characters. xD

5. Favorite time of day?

Late evening, in that like seven - ten pm range. Generally evenings. I’m absolutely not a morning person. If I’m up rather early, I’m tired later in the day. Evening tends to host “me” time.

6. Eye color?

Good ol’ reliable brown. (I need more brown eyed ocs, tbh?) Fun fact: eyes are kind of what enchants me, irl and I probably tend to be a bit invested in fictional character eye colors, too, lol. They’re beautiful. I have no other explanation. That said, I’m very shy about eye contact until I feel more comfortable with people/get to know them better.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, if I’m picking between them and scary. I don’t do horror, I am baby. I can be enraptured by a decent thriller and loved a good crime drama TV show. I can kind of do paranormal stuff sometimes, but I can scare myself just thinking a little too hard about it, so very hesitant.

8. Any special talents?

Mmmm... nothing nontraditional, I suppose. I had a few music teachers tell me when I was younger that I have hands that would’ve been great for piano, but I wasn’t super interested in pursuing musical interests outside of, like, basic school requirements. I did chorus for a while, but was kinda eh. I did enjoy acoustic guitar, but, again, not exactly enough that I ended up doing anything with it.

9. Where were you born?

Rural northeastern US of A. I miss having a fall season, but decidedly not enough to give up the warmth of living much farther south.

10. What are your hobbies?

Largely video games, lol, if it was hard to tell. I’d like to do more drawing and get into digital art. I am majoring in Digital Media Design, after all. One of my hopes is to properly play around with a tablet I bought myself over the summer while I take a break from courses. I desire to draw my blorbos, haha!

11. Do you have any pets?

Two ball pythons, the loves and amusing occasional nuisances of my life! They made a brief appearance on my main here. There’s also two dogs in the house, James and Cooper. Cooper is definitively my mom’s dog, however, and, jokingly, my little brother. (He’s her favorite. We all know this.) Cooper is... ??? We think a Collie mix. And James is a Basset-Lab, both adopted about a year or two apart, if I remember right.

12. What sports do you/have you played?

Oh, actual eons ago, I briefly played soccer (probably not very well) when I was very, very small. I have ridden horses (I miss them, Brent), but primarily only in schooling shows and I did participate for a few years in my barn’s summer gaming series just at Walk/Trot. I used to ride low-level jumping courses. Competitive sports haven’t ever really been my thing, particularly to participate in. I would’ve called riding one of my hobbies while I did. It’s an expensive one though and a bit of a tricky one to get back into when balancing college and part-time retail work. My mom and I try to stick to our developed tradition of selecting a local trail riding venture to attend every year for my birthday though that keeps that connection outside of whatever I vicariously pick up through games, lol.

13. How tall are you?

5′5ish. A smidgen shy, but that’s what they put on my license.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Histories and sciences. If I wasn’t so averse to writing research papers and math, I have genuinely considered majoring in either area. Unfortunately, my university doesn’t have a program for meteorology (weather and natural events are a somewhat more recent interest of mine) and video games evidently have some staying power as my interests, so that’s how I ended up in DMD.

15. Dream job?

I’m honestly not sure anyone has a really solid answer to this question, lol. I certainly don’t. I... went into DMD partially because it was interesting enough and I genuinely felt college would benefit me somehow. While I like my pet store job, it’s not exactly where I’d like to spend the next twenty years, even if I am a creature of habit that balks at change, lol.

So, theoretically, I’m studying DMD and entertaining the idea of a minor in creative writing because characters have always been one of the most important aspect of games to me. The idea is to maybe pursue a focus on character or scenario writing, but I... really don’t know, lol. I’m still largely clearing prerequisites and other structural graduation requirements, so I haven’t really dug into the focus areas of my degree yet and I definitely still doubt that I know what I’m doing or if it’ll genuinely be something I can pursue.

It’s definitely scary and I absolutely struggle with that uncertainty, but it’s also a process of just trying to remind myself that it’s a skill and therefore it is something I can develop if I put the work in - that’s the whole purpose of taking classes, after all. It’s something I’m trying to be more conscious of because I have found it very easy to slip into the student mindset of doing things just for class, so I’m still not sure what all I have as far as presentable skills or how to showcase them. But that is... off the base question, I suppose, lol.

So, work in progress!

Uhhhhmmm, this one’s sort of a mix idk who to tag for, lol, so I think I’ll leave this one open? Muts/followers, feel free to say you’ve been tagged if you’d like to do this one!

#tag games #dot talk

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arrjaysketch · 2 years

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Gratitude! Future Plans!

I’ve been reflecting on this year. I am beyond happy with myself for deciding to pick up art again and give it another go! I have immense and unending gratitude for all the support and encouragement I’ve been shown! I’ve been really excited about my art journey, and I’m honestly having a ton of fun! I’m really glad you all are having fun, too! It means so much to me to make something meaningful for myself and have you all love it just as much as I do! Back in 2006 (or even as early as 2004) I had an idea of making proper references for all my characters. However, due to various circumstances that never came to pass! Here, now, today, though, I’m up for that challenge. It’s absolutely incredible that I’ve made reference sheets for 12 characters so far! And, I’ve done a turnaround! And, I’m super proud of turning all my commissions out really fast! I’m really, really proud of my accomplishments this year! FUTURE PLANS! COMMISSIONS If money is tight, I’ll probably be opening for commissions at least once every other month in 2023, if not more. We’ll see! There are a LOT of personal projects I want to work on. I’ll post journals with as much lead time as I can regarding when I’m expecting commissions to open! REFERENCE SHEETS For character reference sheets, I have 3 female characters I want to do reference sheets for, and 7 male characters! This means I have a total of more reference sheets I want to do (for now). This will take me some time into 2023 before I’m done. After these are done, I’ll move onto other projects! TRADES & GIFT ART After my current round of reference sheets, I’ll open for some trades and gift art! I’m thinking I’ll spend at most a month on trades. I’m absolutely giddy, honestly! I’ve been wanting to do trades for DECADES, buuut I’ve been a bit of a Disaster Human! EXPRESSION PROJECT Something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time is a better version of the 25 Expression Challenge. I’ve done it before a LONG time ago, and I know I’ve done one recently-ish with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. BUT! I haven’t done one when I’ve had this much self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-efficacy! Like, I feel like I could push myself well beyond what I’ve done before! I’m making a 100 Expression Challenge! You all are in for a A TREAT! TREMMIE & EVAN SERIES After the 100 Expression Challenge, I want to do dive into a passion project I’ve been wanting to start in for 15 YEARS. I’m going to have a Tremmie and Evan sex romp series/comic! It’s going to be everything from sweet, silly, to hot and heavy and gooey! I want to give myself a fun challenge, and I think y’all would love it as much as I do! SOFT SHADING I’m also planning on dinking around with soft shading in 2023! I think I could make my art really pop with some quality shading and lighting! POSSIBLY SELLING SOME OLD CHARACTERS AS ADOPTABLES I am thinking of selling some characters as adoptables! There are 11 characters of mine that I'm never going to draw again, and I’m not going to combine them. I was thinking of making a ref sheet for each and selling the character that way! (The characters are: Callisto the skadger (skunk badger (spoken for), Sheila the Ringtail, Helen the spotted skunk, Heather the hedgevixen, Mindy the other, Shazzy the felox (feline/fox), Brook the swift fox, Yasmine the red fox, Jessica/Jessie the arctic fox, Ian the whitetail buck, Liam the jackal, and Nemo the snow leopard). FUTURE REFERENCE SHEETS (MID-LATE 2023) I realized that there are also characters I wish to keep! There are 8 characters in add to the above I want to do ref sheets for. Some are my wife Mistletoe's characters! She's not involved in the fandom anymore, but we fully support each other's interests! She sees how happy my characters make me, and she still likes furry and MLP art! (The characters are: Betsy, the arctic wolf (may change her name), Celeste the genet, Holly Graham, the red Scottish vixen, Josh the striped skunk, Marissa the mouse, Miriam the mouse (thinking of a new design!), Mistletoe the snowshoe hare, Rose Bunny (Arctic Hare)). LEARNING NEW STUFF And, of course, I’m hoping to keep learning new things all the time! Goodness knows I’ve already learned so much since I started back on this path in May! DISCORD SERVER (MAYBE, EVENTUALLY) At some point I’m going to finish up my Discord server! I’m envisioning a laid-back space to share art, cool stuff, and chat a bit! STREAMING! I am also planning on streaming eventually. My real concern is being able to split my attention between drawing and a chat.

Posted using PostyBirb

#future plans #status #status update #commissions #reference sheets #2023 #year 2023 #gratitude

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catgirlhell · 2 years

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Hello I just wanted to say thanks for the post about the art collage stuff and some tips on art. It helped me a lot since I keep comparing myself to artists who are the same age as me or younger who got god level drawing. Idk it just makes me feel like shit that I’m older or same age as them and can’t even draw a damn thing without just getting tired. Anyway thanks to much for cheering me up! It made my day better! Thank you!!!!

(Me rambling moment totally understand if not interested to read!!! ) Although the tip of “everybody does not start like Picasso level drawing! It takes time!” I just have a hard time taking that advise. Ever since a few years ago I just have a hard time even drawing with the remembering of my toxic friend laughing at how shit my art is and how they talk of me never having a future. I just remember the days when they would point, smudge, draw over the stuff I make and laughing at it. I know I should ignore that kind of shit since it’s been so many years but I just can’t leave it. I know I should but nothing is working. I try to escape with social media but then I’m just shown with young artist that have wonderful art. I also know I gotta ignore but it’s just tough. Because of the words of the toxic friends I haven’t drawn in years. I just can’t face my art being so shit. I know I should develop and continue but why should I when everyone says my art is bad. Years to my adulthood are creeping up. I want to be an artist but I just can’t face myself and my art. I wish I could go back in time and draw with confidence and joy like before. So that I can start over with my art becoming better. I just feel like it’s too late. Around me I hear sound of people choosing their path and bright future. Idk sorry for rambling, I know it’s annoying but these days whenever I open my mouth, words just spill out. Anyway I hope you have a good day, your post cheered me up a lot! Thanks

thats. a lot. uh. alright so I'm gonna let you in on a secret-- no one is ever truly satisfied with their art. i've got 50-something year old professors who've been working at industry level for decades and still have yet to feel they've hit their peak. the idea that you will ever feel comfortable with how far you've come is a myth and a lie. you will always feel like you can do better.

as for the anxieties that come with other people besmirching your work; that might be a bit harder to overcome, but as a rule i tell this to everyone i know who wants to get into drawing, whether as a hobby or a career: You have to love drawing in order to draw. I'm serious! the anguish of that kind of futility of forever climbing an unending mountain is only abated by not caring if you ever reach the summit. learn to love drawing for the sake of drawing and nothing else and then the rest will come easy.

good luck with your journey!

#ask tag #thats a whole lot to dump on a person but hey #if my words help???? i guess??????

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opalai-pixel-witch · 2 years

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Hello, after almost a year :,D

I will tell you briefly how my life was

I did a job, I sent it and they liked it, but I had to correct it (which delayed me a lot), apart from doing other things, like a report where practically all the elements of the job are and a web page (I haven’t done one in a long time, so it was like starting from -10 :,)

Another thing that happened is I distanced myself a bit from the PP fandom, not because there was something wrong with it, but because there wasn’t official new material for a long time and I ended up looking at other things like Marvel, which practically releases daily material or, at less, monthly I got obsessed with the Watchers of Marvel (I don’t know why but I love them XD)

And I’ve been drawing them ever since together with a little music alien band called Area21 (I seem to like aliens and weird things ^^; )

And I’m writing to you from this Tumblr because I finally feel safe about the identity of this one (apart from the fact I was able to solve some problems it had ^^; ) And if I organize myself better, I’ll try to post all drawings I made of PP games ;)

The PP fandom came back to life, at least in the Discord, and the drawings are being published are prompting me to draw the characters again XD

I’m trying to draw them, but I still have my work and I have to do other things, and starting new things with this project is very hard for me :,D

By the way, I was surprised you mentioned the drawing style issue, I never considered I had a style, but it seems that I do XD

Ah! And I was looking at your drawings and it’s great to see your progress, especially in digital drawing, keep it up! :D

((I’ll be sending you other messages responding to the last ones I don’t answer you at the time, I hope I’m not bothering you 👉👈))

--------

Hello again!! It’s very lovely to hear from you (^^)/

I totally understand, real life has gotten busier for me too—long story short, contemporary math (and pretty much just math in general) is a nightmare =~=;; Be sure to take care of yourself and not push yourself too hard!!

I can definitely understand that too ;v; I’ve recently gotten into the Jackbox fandom (as I’m sure you’ve noticed with the flood of Jackbox drawings I’ve made |D) and lately those two interests have been fighting for control of my brain :P I think the issue is fandoms can fall asleep sometimes, and then out of nowhere they can just wake up again, as the PP fandom has with the upcoming new game >o>

But even if we’re not active in something it doesn’t mean we love it any less ^_^

Also welcome to Tumblr!! I hope you have a good time here, this site can be kind of a mess at times :P It’s definitely been exciting to see the PP fandom up and running again, and I’m very much looking forward to their new game ^o^

I look forward to the art you make of them!! Just make sure to do things at your own pace and go easy on yourself ;v;

My apologies, I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable saying that ^_^;; I just think that having a distinct art style is super cool and I thought I’d mention it

Thank you so much! ^o^ I’m really happy you like my digital stuff, I have to admit that I’ve been kinda addicted to doing tablet drawings lately |D

(You never have to worry about bothering me, I’m always glad to hear from you!!)

#submission #axl-draw

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27thetherealmoon · 9 hours

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Hello. it’s me again! How are you? Sorry it took me ages to write another massage but you know, I was crying (again) a few hours after I send my massage for I fear I have hurt your feelings or upsetting you somehow (Hey, I also have high paranoia) so I’m really glad it wasn’t the case. :)

I love LOVE the Furina you have created. The Furina that subconsciously forgetting her past because it was too hurt to remember. The Furina that cares so much about people who ended up hurting her. The Furina that so beautiful with her white eyelashes and started to loving it and herself . The Furina that still didn’t know there’s people who love her and care for her. The Furina that doesn’t want to be a burden to other people even when she’s dying. The Furina that so strong she finds a new purpose and goes out of her way to finding herself. The Furina that perfectly human and very dear to me (to you as well, it seems). Ahh I would missed her so much. 🥹

Regarding your two reasons, I knew one of it is because your mental health, a quick look at your account proved that and because I’m struggling with mental health issues too, I understand. If writing Furina in her lowest point effecting you negatively then it was a wise decision to take a break from continuing the story or distancing yourself from it. Your mental health and happiness matter more. but I just can’t stand by and watch the author of my favorite story belittling her own work in her profile like that, that’s why I came here – to give you piece of my mind.

And to your second reason, no, you’re not pathetic for hating hoyo. I’m a twitter girl (I rarely ever used tumblr anymore, actually) but I also hate hoyo as a company (like, screw you hoyo!). I know hoyo has been a HUGE disappointment after disappointment lately, especially with the whitewash of Natlan characters. but trust me when I said that most of twitter people also doesn’t like them, and have been very vocal about it (at least that’s what I always seen in my timeline). Though, in gi twitter fandom – from what I’ve noticed – is that most of them is aware that hoyo’s a shitty company but they also acknowledge, and bitterly accepting the fact that they complains wouldn’t be heard and the company would never change. Only the CN fandom can. And they have a mindset that it’s okay to enjoy something while also criticizing them, in hope that the company would her you and changes. It doesn’t make you a hypocrite, I promise.

Me myself haven’t played the game for few months now because the story got so boring after 4.2 AQ and because Hoyo. But I never once thought that me making nvfr fanarts was me supporting Hoyo as company. That’s a very interesting way to think about fan works honestly. I’m making nvfr fanarts simply because I love them. be it as their own characters and together as a ship. In return, they improved me, like a lot. My love for them motivated me to draw them more and improved my drawing skills. They prompted me to share my works with the fandom, which I still feel very insecure about every time I posted my arts. and they introduced me to a lot of kind people in the community– I even finally make some mutuals there ehe. In the end though, I draw them for myself. not for hoyo, not for the community, just for me, because I love them.

It’s funny, because everything that you said that makes you frustrated of mihoyo is what make your story special. your hard works to make sure everything was represented right and the details you put through in your story, that hoyo didn’t bother with, was obvious and very much amazing. Not only hoyo as a company, but I rarely ever find a story that goes into details about language differences, foods, clothes, heck even skin care! You’re the only one who bother to put skin care in your fic (at least from all nvfr fanfics I have ever read). And trust me, all your hard work was very much appreciated by me and everyone who read your story.

As much as I want to know more about tphh, I also want to move on from them. Seeing them in my bookmarks still hurt you know. It’s not helping that you didn’t change the moderate your comments options before you orphaned the story. Now every new comment wouldn’t reach anyone and goes straight to the archive. In fact, I left a comment there before I came here because I knew my massage won’t reach you. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who left comment for I know there are still many people who love tphh, even bookmarked them, despite knowing the story would forever unfinished.

You already spoiled tphh a lot if you asked me and I’m afraid my curiosity and enthusiasm wouldn’t be sated if I was to ask more spoiler from you, hence I couldn’t move on. But there is one thing that still gnawing at my brain, like how do you planning Neuvillette finds out Furina is gone? because your story was so different from others runaway or lost Furina’s stories that I can’t imagine how your Neuvillette gonna know. And if Clorinde’s reaction already makes me cry a river, I can only imagine Neuvillette’s would be a heart-wrenching one, if not more. As for future chapters, just knowing Furina would heals and find so much love is enough for me. 🤍

Lastly, I wished, like how Furina’s story goes in your mind, that your stories, too, would go to the same direction. That you wouldn’t feel insecure when you uploaded your works to the fandom and that you would heal and be better. 🤍

P.s. I’m too shy and awkward when it comes to direct conversation (heck I need days to write this massage only and because English isn’t my first language either) so I would left this massage in your ask box, if you don’t mind! Also, sorry for the wall of messy text.

P.s. 2: I always thought your username was spelled 27-the-the-real-moon and it turns out it is spelled 27th-ethereal-moon. What a beautiful username 🥺

Hi!! I'm so happy to hear from you again! I'm doing alright atm. How are you?

Don't worry, your message definitely didn't hurt my feelings. I was actually really happy to hear from someone after I orphaned TPHH. I honestly kind of assumed people would just... not really care much? So the fact that you cared enough to find my tumblr and message me really touched me, as did your words.

I really love the way you described TPHH Furina. It's honestly kind of crazy to me how much of the character I wanted to build is already in the fic because it feels a bit like I cut the story off right at the start before anything could really happen, but your words made me realise that a lot of who she is and who she would develop into is already there. I'm honestly kind of proud of myself for that, which is a very weird feeling because I usually don't feel like this.

I can't lie that "a quick look at your account proved that" made me laugh for five whole minutes. What gave it away? 💀 I'm not gonna go into too much detail here because it makes people quite uncomfortable, but I feel the need to elaborate a bit.

One big mistake a lot of writers make is drawing too much from personal experience and putting too much of themselves into their story and it's a mistake I make with every story I write as well.

Hibernaculum is tied to my weird relationship with my family, specifically my father and my brother but also my mother. It's a very easy thing to write about (for me at least) because most of this is far in the past and I've worked through a lot of it. I understand what happened, have an idea why these things happened, and I have a good idea of how things will continue to affect me in the future.

The Perfect Human Heart is tied to struggles I have had my whole life, struggles that haunt me right now and will probably continue to haunt me until I'm dead, but in ways and for reasons that I don't understand, can't predict and can't work through at all considering how my life is currently going. So sitting down and writing about a Furina who's plagued by familiar thoughts (for different reasons) became very personal and overwhelming very quickly and also became very taxing for me. It would probably take me years to get to a state where I could actually write for TPHH (specifically writing out Furina's thoughts and problems) without risking my own health like I have in the past few months. I could've probably predicted this, but oh well.

Thank you for giving me a piece of your mind. I appreciate it.

What really got me alongside the whole Natlan whitewashing bullshit was that one GGZ ad (idk if you knew this but the game still exists in china and I think japan?) with a bunch of little girls in bathing suits bending over, spreading their legs, covered in tentacles etc. Like... Hoyo sucks so much. And in so many different ways, too. It would be impressive if it wasn't so incredibly sad and upsetting. It also attracts very weird people, specifically the people who used to make fun of genshin players who now suddenly support genshin, hsr and especially zzz because hoyo isn't "woke", which makes online discussions about the games and any form of criticism aimed at hoyo as a company basically impossible. Being in fandoms at all right now is incredibly exhausting and kind of miserable and it takes the fun out of things (that's the one beautiful thing about the naruto fandom tbh. It doesn't change. No matter how much time passes, the discourse always stays the same as if it was cursed to be frozen in time in 2014).

I've never been great with the whole "separate the art from the artist" thing. Sometimes I can do it pretty well(ish) and sometimes I can't do it at all. I did a decent job at it after Sumeru released because I simply stopped spending money on genshin or any other hoyo game and focused on supporting artists who represented sumeru more accurately. Then, when I started to plan out TPHH, I swore that I would be one of the artists who worked hard to depict these countries more accurately by doing ny very best to research every country that is supposed to be represented in these nations as much as possible. And that also worked for a bit, but it didn't really fix the underlying issue of me really beginning to resent hoyo. I already talked about this in my last answer, so I'm not going to repeat myself, but you know what I mean. Hoyo kept fucking things up and in the process of trying to fix it for tphh I realised how easy it can be to not fuck up completely and that made me resent the game more and more.

I think the whole "fanworks to some extent always means supporting the company/the artist" thing that is buried in my head and haunts every piece of fanwork that I post comes from JKR and the way she has talked about harry potter fans and how she sees them now, but it's also more complicated than that. It has to be because Kishimoto isn't a great person either, but I haven't axed Hibernaculum yet. Maybe I'm just a giant hypocrite idk.

I used to be really active in the fandom as well and I really wanted to interact more with artists and fan accounts (I used to look at neuvifuri fanart to motivate myself to write) but I never ended up doing it (because I don't know how to talk to people but also somehow talk way too much, as you can see). It's a nice space, and I miss how much fun everyone was having when they came up with theories between 4.0 and 4.2. It was a cool space. I really loved those long threads people were making on Twitter about furinas lore and where it might go. It was fun. I haven't really interacted much with the fandom since I axed TPHH but the few things I've seen make it seem like the fandom really cooled down a lot, probably because hoyos repeated fuck ups put everyone in a weird mood and that's just really sad to see (and obviously because Fontaine is no longer the main focus right now because I think the natlan patch is out now? Idk I haven't played in months either).

The small details were honestly my favourite parts to write in this fic. Talking about how languages change and develop and how Furina still speaks a lot of languages that have died out (or are currently in the process of dying out because standart teyvat is getting more and more popular in pretty much all of the nations, pushing the languages there out of the way) or have become almost unrecognizable in the last 500 years as an example was really fun. People always talk about how Furina is 500 years old, but they never talk about how much things change in 5 centuries. Yes, she is/was one of the youngest archons (probably, I don't think we ever found out how old she actually is if you count human years + oceanid years), but 500 years is so much fucking time. So many things that you'd think are eternal will crumble in that time, and so many things that you thought will crumble stay untouched. Skincare formulas change for the worse, clothing, hairstyles, makeup, and even furniture go in and out of fashion, city layouts shift, houses collapse, etc. The world Furina saw when she was first brought into that world is in a lot of ways entirely different than the world she lives in now and I kind of wish people focused on this stuff more so I tried my best to implement that to the best of my abilities. Also the differences in culture in different countries and regions is one of the most interesting things about travelling so writing about it was genuinely awesome. What foods are more popular in different nations and regions (I think I mentioned that the people of Fontaine eat a lot more fish than as an example Liyue? I'm not sure) and other cultural differences like Liyue producing better skin care than Fontaine was such a fun thing to come up with and something that I did in an attempt to breathe a bit more life into the world, so to hear that that worked makes me really happy.

The comment thing you mentioned is actually quite strange because I remember approving all comments, then going into settings to turn off comment moderation, saving it, and then going to orphan the fic. Like, I definitely remember doing that. I wanted to make sure that people could voice their frustrations without having to tell me directly because I know a lot of people aren't comfortable with talking to people directly like this. I *know* that I did that. Then again I also had to change the settings on Hibernaculum like three times because it kept changing it back to "only registered users can comment" even after I changed it to all users (and saved it! I save it every time I swear that's not the problem. I check this stuff obsessively!). Ao3 is really weird right now, at least for me, and I have no idea why.

How Neuvillette finds out is actually kind of a complicated story point (because everything I write is kind of complicated for some reason), but I'll try to keep it short:

First thing you need to know is that Neuvillette wanted to give Furina a Vision (like a month after the flood while she was rotting away in her house) and planned to use that vision as a reason/excuse to visit her (because he thought she didn't want to see him but if he was there to give her something like a vision she would *have* to open her door, right?). However, no matter how much Neuvillette tried, he couldn't manifest a vision for her. He could make one for other people and they work well too, but he couldn't do it for her (he thinks it's some punishment from the heavens or something and tries to do research in the whole thing but it's actually because having a wish/an ambition is what makes the creation of a vision possible and Furina at that point wishes for nothing at all, so she literally doesn't have that spark that would tie the vision to her and make it uniquely hers, which is why Neuvillette can't make her one.)

The second thing to know is that Furina is getting sicker and sicker the further she gets away from Fontaine. Baizhu has no idea why and she starts living and helping out at the apothecary until Zhongi recommends that she should meditate close to the water, like a lake or the ocean or something, because that might improve at least her mental state (he's full of shit, he knows that she used to be an oceanid and that oceanids get sick for a while when they distance themselves from fontaines waters and remembers that hanging out around water used to help with the symptoms of her illness before she ascended. He simply assumes that that illness stayed with her even after she was turned human). She listens to him and starts to read and meditate close by the harbour to enjoy the ocean. One day, when she meditates, she tries to really centre herself and connect to the world and find inner peace and ends up actually connecting to the waters in Liyue.

I kind of romanticised/imagined the powers oceanids have as something divorced from the power of the sovereign in a way. That they have an extra spark of something in them, something unique stemming from egeria or from the shade of life, which makes them an independent force that can't be controlled by the Hydro Archon or by neuvillette (kind of as an explanation for why furina didn't order them to come back/couldn't order them to return when they rebelled/left while she was still pretending to be a little dramatic tyrant archon). That means that Furina had her own powers before she split herself and created a human vessel, and her tapping back into them despite officially being human would show that she still has that spark from her mother in her even though she's now human. Like a "despite everything it's still you" moment, even if she doesn't understand it as that in that moment (because she doesn't really understand what's happening at all due to her missing memories).

Neuvillette would feel that moment when she connects to the waters for the first time in several centuries, and while he wouldn't be able to tell where she is in the world he'd know that she felt too distant to be in fontaine (and because this fic was planned before the lantern rite he also wouldn't be able to leave fontaine because thats what a lot of people assumed before that because his presence was keeping ousia and pneuma stable, but oh well). The little spark of Furinas presence in the waters of teyvat would flicker back out (because she simply wouldn't be strong enough at that moment to hold it for longer than a few seconds and she'd be scared that she's capable of making that type of connection in the first place) and Neuvillette would go to Furinas house to check if she's really gone because he can't believe it. He would find both Chlorinde and Wriothesley there who both took vacation from their jobs because "the effects of the flood finally caught up to them too and they need a break" and he finds out that both of them believe that Furina got kidnapped or murdered by the fatui because they found evidence that she had contact to dilucs anti fatui spy network and sent him info that her own spy network collected (you know, the one that canon kind of forgot about after mentioning it once at the start of the game) and that shes been gone for like... a while now. Neuvillette realises that Furina connection didn't feel like the way humans with visions connect to the waters of Teyvat (and remembers that he also never managed to give her one anyways) and freaks out because something odd is clearly happening to furina, she might be kidnapped or something, she's too far away for him to find and protect her or help her in any way, and he can't leave to track her down either. She's unreachable for him and possibly suffering (she's kind of freaked out sitting at the harbour and trying to connect to the waters again but doesn't quite manage it) and he's powerless to stop any of it despite reclaiming his sovereignty. And then he proceeds to have like... ten panic attacks at the same time and Wriothesleys prophecy comes true and it floods fontaine again (not as bad as the actual big flood obviously but like basements are filling up, the aquabuses are unusable etc).

That's how he finds out. Through Furina making progress in her quest of finding out who she is. It is a very Furina-centric fic, so it was important to me that Furina made these steps on her own while Neuvillette is forced to stay still and let her do these things, only able to provide minimal support and hope that after her journey is over she will find her way back home while working through what he feels for Furina (obviously fondness and romance) and how that differs from what other people like Chlorinde feel for her (familial love for someone who is somehow a sister, a mother, a grandmother but also a(n ex) god at the same time).

I honestly doubt that I'll ever get over my insecurities concerning my own writing, but I'll try my best, I promise. Also, never apologise for big walls of text. Really, I should be the one apologising for this absolute monster of a response. I'm incredibly thankful for your words and that you chose to share them with me, so please don't feel bad about this. It makes me really happy to hear from others. Thank you, seriously, for taking time out of your day to share these thoughts with me.

Omg I'm seeing it now it does look like 27 the the real moon I never noticed that! 💀 😭

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lcec0ldheart · 5 months

Text

Random OC stuff of the day #3: New OC! Enter Crimson Starius! And some backstory!

So, I missed two days. This is supposed to be a daily thing. But it was my sister’s birthday on the 20th, and we celebrated it until halfway through the 21st, so I was dead tired. I’ll try to post two oc stuff in one day at some point to recover lost time, but i am excusing myself once bc it was my sister’s birthday lol. Have a BIG post to make up for this? Its pretty late but i got forced to cook not my fault

Anyways, new OC! I know it’s really soon but oh well fkrlgkrjejjrjd

I suddenly got the idea (for what he looks like, Violet having a brother has been in the back of my mind for a while even before her redesign) while doodling stuff, and so I made a quick scribble of him before actually drawing him at school. Surprisingly enough, I was able to start and finish him. Here is Crimson!

Crimson is an 11 year old kid, the younger brother of Violet! The “Sun” to Violet’s “Moon”!

A charismatic, chaotic, fun and bold kid that wants to enjoy himself and make some friends. He’s quite clever, cunning, funny, and is perceptive and likes to share with people. Also very creative and a bit crazy, he’s interesting to be around.

Although he tries not to show it, he’s also pretty emotional, and he’s a bit self conscious of what others think, wanting some attention. Despite this, he’s still a fun, nice and sweet kid who makes mistakes at times. Can be read as selfish, but it’s usually by accident and he’ll do something to make up for it. Shy around new people but that doesnt last long

Somewhat hyperactive and struggles to sit still, and gets bored easily, but he’s really good at being entertaining and enjoyable. He’ll try crazy ideas even if he’s been told it wont end well, and he’s relatively confident in himself, but still wants some validation. He’ll invite a friend to whatever he’s doing, as he wants to make sure they’re enjoying themself too. More relaxed, and kinda goofy.

He draws pretty well for his age (Certainly better than I did LOL), learning how to draw with Violet’s help. A good leader, and smart for his age, notable when he’s around other kids. Relatively mature and knows the most unexpected things (He and Violet share weird fun facts with each other. Sometimes, my irl brother will tell me something he shouldn’t have learned until high school. He’s a great kid, but he scares me sometimes…)

Since he’s so young, he doesn’t really fight (thank goodness although he’s weirdly strong for his age and tall…), but he likes playing with fire, and unfortunately Violet can’t really discourage him due to him being fire immune somehow. I guess he had to pick up some kind of weird trait from her, lol. If he had to use a weapon though, 100% would be a hammer. My IRL brother is having so much fun with the inflated comically oversized one we have.

(Hey guys, it’s Crimson IRL!)

Crimson and Violet’s sibling dynamic is pretty interesting to me. Due to how he and Violet was left on her own without parents when she was 13 (About a year and half has passed since that happened), they’re very close, sticking together no matter what happens. Sometimes they talk like friends the same age bantering with each other (No joke my brother is crazy smart 75% of the time we talk to each other like we’re twins, and he’s NINE), other times they have a younger brother-older sister dynamic, but Violet’s the one that’s been taking care of him. No idea how she manages to get through it all, but she’s the one who makes sure he’s fed, clothed, has somewhere to sleep, making sure he’s happy, helping him whenever he needs it, and is cared for. Give Violet a “sister of the year” award because MAN i couldn’t imagine managing that at 13 no less

Fortunately, eventually the two get some sort of support system (With Violet getting some friends MAYBE found family…) and they have their older (I’ll introduce her eventually but i haven’t introduced her yet. Maybe i will for lesbian visibility week though) cousin, who is sadly pretty far away and busy, but still tries to help, being the one to buy their living space and giving Violet quite a bit of money to make sure the two can live on their own without having to work or worry. Also gives her advice.

As for how they’re managing to live on their own, they’re doing fine. Because of the fact they’re on their own, they’ve adjusted their living to what fits them best. It’s not all that bad. Still stressful for Violet though

Crimson usually attends online live classes on his laptop (They both have laptops they use for personal and school reasons), and he’s actually taking advanced classes, doing quite well in school. (He still needs to pay more attention sometimes though.) Sometimes he needs help, but he knows what to do for the most part, and if not he’ll ask Violet at some point during the day.

Violet does her school work remotely, not on live classes, but that allows her to go however fast she wants to on her school courses. It also lets her manage her own schedule which is good because the only thing holding her back as a kid in school was having to follow everyone else’s schedule.

Her sleep schedule is naturally fucked up (I swear she’s like some sort of nocturnal creature lmao) and was a bit of an issue when she couldn’t get to sleep all night and got sleepy while in class. But since online courses don’t have that problem, she can sleep whenever the hell she wants! Which is why she’s usually sleeping when other kids are in school lol. Crimson is normal (ish) in the case that he wakes up at the crack of dawn, so usually around 6 AM. Violet is quite book smart. Due to her being able to do assignments wherever and whenever she wants (assuming she meets deadlines), she is zooming through highschool. I imagine the story with Frost, Pyrite and Violet would take place around the summer, so after that she’d be starting courses most people wouldn’t get to until junior year, despite only being 14 and half. 2 grades ahead basically

You’d think that one of them being awake half the time the other is asleep would cause problems, but for the most part it doesn’t. They still eat at least 2 meals a day at the same time, just that for one of them it’s breakfast and for the other its dinner lol. Usually when Violet makes her own lunch (which she has at like 12 am lmao) she’ll have a second plate made, and put it in the fridge to leave for Crimson when he’ll have his own lunch since she’ll be asleep at the time. Though Crimson is learning how to cook too, as he wants to make his own food as well, so that won’t be necessary soon!

While Violet and Crimson don’t judge each other much, they still think some of the things the other does is weird. Like Crimson sometimes goes on rambles and rants talking to himself or the wall about practically anything. It’s like he’s a chronically recording youtuber. Violet isn’t really bothered by this, she just finds it entertaining and kinda funny, and talks back if she has something to add. Crimson also tends to pace around the room a lot. He fidgets if he’s sitting in place, and gets kinda restless assuming he’s not being stimulated in some way, so usually if she sees him doing that she’ll find something for him to fidget with (He might just go find like a wrench to twist himself) but she doesnt think its weird or anything

Crimson might ask Violet a question if he sees her doing something not normal (Like using her telekinesis), but assuming she answers he’ll just take it and be like “Oh cool” and maybe ask her to participate in one of his schemes if her powers end up being useful for it. He thinks the purple markings and nails and glowy eyes is normal bc Violet is his standard for what a person should look like LOL (This is why he doesn’t ask why it’s so difficult for her to sleep like a normal person, or why she’ll manage to infodump about something for hours, or how sounds seem louder to her, or why she gets fixated on specific things, because she’s the person he knows the most, so it feels normal to him. and even if he knows otherwise he doesn’t mind)

Overall, they’re very close, and kinda learned how to socialize by talking to each other lol thats why both of them aren’t too good at talking to normal people. The two will stick together and support each other no matter what. Sometimes they have issues or bicker, but they geninuely love each other (Crimson doesn't say it as much but he ends up conveying that by his actions.) I call them the Sun and Moon duo!

Uh I don’t know what else to put here, but that’s another ramble from me that got super off topic lol. Goodnight guys, hope your day is going well, yuh

#Disaster Trio Daily #Except its not really about the trio and more so a new oc and Violet LOL #Crimson Starius #Violet Starius #Woah this is long and got super offtopic #But here we are ig #anyways i am eepy and tired goodnight guys lol #if my brother gets social media (hopefully not anytime soon) give him some appreciation he’s an awesome kid #or else /j would be nice tho #Guess who I based the sibling relationship of?? ME AND MY BROOO #im normal #and yes #crimson is implied to have adhd #same with violet having autism #neurodivergent siblings gang unite🎉

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