#haven't touched that book in ages for some reason

[satorusugurugurl]

My Wedding Date is an Escort!

Summary: When invited to your best friend's wedding, you panic. One of the groomsmen, Toji Fushiguro, is your ex-fiancè. Not wanting to deal with probing questions and the embarrassment of being single, your friend Haibara recommends using an Escort! Taking a leap of faith, you book one, the hottest one. Gojo Satoru is hot, sweet, and funny! The package deal! Men and Women pay thousands to go on a date with him (even more, which he doesn't do often). So when your request comes in, the desperation and pleading tone of your voice. Gojo’s heartthrobs, even more so when you tell him you don't want to have sex.

Pairing: Escort!Gojo x FAB Reader

Word Count: 3,882

Warning: Mentions of depression, anxiety, language, steamy kisses, pillow walls

A/N: Ah yes, trauma dumping before things get super spicy!!! Love the communication, it’s giving this could be a great relationship but it’s complicated. If you want to be included in the tag list, you MUST have your age in your bio PLEASE!!! Thank you!!

Part One Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight

Your breathless words had the world crashing down around Satoru as he stared at your flushed face. His eyes widened as he released you, his own heart hammering in his chest. He had never lost control like that before! But there was this pull in his chest, one that screamed that he needed to protect you from the walking douchebag with black hair away from his; no, what the fuck? Not his girl, his client! 

“Holy fuck, I'm sorry! Shit, uhm, I shouldn't have done that.” Satoru grumbled, scrubbing his hands down his face. “I’m sorry.”

Your fingers trailed slowly over your lips. They were still tingling. “No, it's okay. I almost blew our cover.” Satoru slowly dragged his hands down his face, his eyes transfixed on you as you spoke. “That was all part of the act. If you didn't do that, it wouldn't have looked as convincing.”  Satoru visibly seemed to relax, shoulders slumping as he sighed.

“Thank fuck.” 

“It was just weird.” 

“I'm sorry?”A white eyebrow cocked up at your words. “Me kissing you was weird? Was it bad?” 

Your face flushed more, the heat spreading across your cheeks before setting over your chest. “Oh god, that came out wrong!” Your hands shot up in defense. “I-I didn't mean like that, Satoru! I just—I haven't kissed anyone in over a year and a half. So I guess I just—yeah, I’m rusty.”

“No,” you jerked your head up, “no, it was nice.” Stunning blue eyes softened, making you swallow hard. He thought it was nice. He is the hottest man on the planet, and ESCORT thought kissing you was nice.

What the fuck was this life?

Snapping out of the trance Satoru had you in; you cleared your throat. “I-I think I’m gonna take a s-shower!” You tossed the extra pillow to the futon on the floor. “Oh, and uhm, that kiss was nice for me too.” You turned, bolting for the bathroom before slamming the door. 

You slowly slid down it, sitting on the ground as you touched your lips. Satoru had such soft lips. It felt really good being kissed like you were wanted. No, no, it was an act! It's all an act. An act that had Satoru pacing the floor as he ran his hand through his hair.

It was only once he heard the shower running that he sat on the ground. What the fuck was that?! His pale skin was almost red as he tugged at white tufts of hair. He never got flustered with clients before! Maybe he was going insane. He must be because his mind keeps replaying the kiss repeatedly. 

The way you stiffened, how your hands gripped him so tight as he kissed you like he had never kissed a client before. Satoru slapped both his cheeks before shaking his head. That breathtaking kiss was nothing more than him doing his job. He was looking out for you as a client. Yeah, that was it. That asshole of a guy was the reason his heart was still racing as he thought of you and your lips.

By some miracle, both of you managed to pull your thoughts away from the kiss. You showered before switching with Satoru. He finally came out ten minutes later, grinning as he witnessed you placing the four extra pillows down the middle of the futon. You fluffed, pushed, and sat back to assess your constriction before repeating the process repeatedly until Satoru barked out a laugh from behind.

“Quit the impressive wall you’ve built.” Looking over your shoulder, you watched Satoru pull a tank top over his head. He slowly pulled it down over chiseled abs that had to have been crafted by a Renaissance artisan. Because there was no way those were real. “I’ve never had a client do that before.”

”Please don’t take it personally.” You whispered under your breath before fluffing another pillow. “It makes me feel a bit better; I haven’t shared a bed with anyone in a while.”

“Hey, no worries, whatever makes you feel comfortable, you keep doing it.”

God, why was he so nice? Sure, you paid him the big bucks to pretend to be your boyfriend. But that didn’t mean he had to be so understanding and kind regarding your antics. If anything, you would have assumed your pillow wall would have irritated anyone. You know for a fact that Toji would have hated it.

His kind, understanding patience had you transfixed on his movements as you both settled into bed. You were on your side, facing him as he stared at the ceiling, his hands resting behind his head. The silence wasn’t at all awkward. It was comforting in a way. You didn’t have to force yourselves to make dreadful small talk; you could enjoy the silence. 

The silence, however, had questions eating away at your insides. “Satoru?” Your voice mingled with chirping crickets and the warm spring breeze outside. You waited until his head turned in your direction before you continued. “Would it be okay if I asked you a question?” His face softened as he nodded his head.

”Of course.” 

“Why did you become an escort?”

Satoru chuckled, rolling onto his side so you both faced each other. “I think I’ve answered that question about a million times, so it’s easy.” His arm snaked around one of the pillows between you, hugging it to his chest. “I come from a pretty influential clan. It’s all about power, money, and success with them, and being an only child, they expected a lot from me.” His eyes rolled. “The old geezers kept going about when I would get married and have my own kids. And I didn't want anyone else feeling that way.” A cunning smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “So, I became an escort to help people.” He snickered, hugging the pillow tighter. “Plus, I get to annoy those controlling old farts. So it’s a win-win for me. But I still handle my family affairs; being an escort is like my second job.” His words were genuine, and they had you smiling.

”That’s actually really sweet.” You shifted, inching just a bit closer to him. “You seem like a genuinely nice guy, doing stuff like this for strangers.” You giggled nervously, shaking your head. “That speaks volumes; I know you’re a nice guy, but I don’t know a thing about you.”

”I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Honestly.”

“Really?”

“Really.” 

“Okay, so do you like sleeping with your clients? Or has sex lost its spark?” You watched him curiously.

He shrugged a shoulder, smirking. “Sex is still good when it's with a good partner. But I honestly don't sleep with a majority of my clients. One because, well, let's be honest, they can't afford it. I charge double the price of a single day for sex. So that's ¥240,000.” 

“For sex?!” 

“Yep! So people can't afford it, especially when I do family events like this. But I usually refuse; I don't particularly like sleeping with someone unless I know them. You know?” 

You hummed, and Satoru grinned, inching himself closer. Another one of your constructed pillows shifted out of the way. “I understand. I'm glad you have the right to refuse.” He nodded, blue eyes almost sparkling in the light of the moon flooding the room. “Have you ever been in love?” 

“Puppy love, nothing more than that.” Satoru pursed his lips in thought. “But I'm not opposed to falling in love someday.”

“God,” you groaned, rolling into your back, “look at me, asking you stupid questions like I’m in high school.”

Satoru sat up, laying on his elbow as he looked down at you with a pout. “No! No, I don't mind! I like talking to you.” He was leaning over you, smiling wide, white strands of hair falling in his face.

“I like talking to you too, Satoru.”

Satoru wanted to reach out and move Y/H/C strands out of your face. To see if your skin felt as soft as it looked, to feel your warmth. His hand moved, and just before it touched you, he dropped it, clenching it in the pillow

“Y/N, could I ask you something?” 

“Seeing as I asked you something, it's only fair.” You smiled, and it was so fucking cute Satoru wanted to bury his face in the pillow and kick his feet. Restraining his urge, he cleared his throat. 

“You mentioned your ex in passing. I'm assuming it was that asshole from earlier?” You frowned, nodding. “I don't like to pry or push my clients, but I keep thinking about what you said. What did you mean by ‘why didn't he?’ when I asked why he broke up with you.”

Sitting up, you sighed, eyes slowly shutting. Remembering that night was something you desperately tried to avoid. Satoru, however, had opened up to you, and he was helping you. Plus, he'd already caught a glimpse of Toji, so you might as well bite the bullet and tell him. 

Sucking in a deep breath, you exhaled slowly, bringing your knees to your chest, hugging them. “Toji Zen’in and I were high school sweethearts. He was my first for everything, so of course, I fell hard. We moved in together when we graduated high school into a small apartment in Kyoto. We got engaged at nineteen, and things went downhill.” Your grip tightened around yourself. “To make a painfully long story short, Toji developed a gambling habit, burning through his savings while I was in college.” The sheets shifted as Satoru sat up, turning to watch you with narrowed eyes.

“So, as a novice baker working at my parent's inn at twenty-one, I faced a dilemma. My fiancè was jobless, nonetheless, and behind on our rent.” The inside of your nose began to burn as tears threatened to escape. “I could leave him and focus on me and my career. I'd be losing my home and the supposed love of my life. Or I could use the money I saved up for pastry school to cover the rent we were behind on.” 

Sheets shifted, and a large hand gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to look into Satoru’s eyes. “You didn’t.” The tears streaming down your cheeks answered his question. “Y/N—” A sad, broken laugh sounded in your chest. 

“I did. Used everything I saved up to keep us in our apartment for four years.” Nausea churned in your stomach as you laughed a little louder. “After all of that, everything I did, he broke off our engagement. He said he didn't love me, that he couldn't see himself with me five years down the road.” More tears fell down your cheeks, landing on the sheets. “Toji said I was too focused on my career, my dreams, that I was eating too many sweets. That I wasn't as exciting as I used to be.” Satoru’s gaze darkened as you spoke, watching you wipe uselessly at your eyes. “That devastated me, so I packed up, moved to Tokyo, and got pastry training. I haven't been back since.” 

“That fuckin’ dick!” Satoru looked obviously upset over everything coming out of your mouth. “Seriously, you're beautiful, god I hate people like that!” No one should ever be treated the way you have been. To take care of a partner, give up on a dream for someone who you were supposed to marry, to have them pull shit like that. It made Satoru sick to his stomach. 

“Yeah, I'm still trying to get over it. In a way, I guess I'm happy it happened because I feel like I wouldn't have gotten as far in my career as I have. But the scars are still there, along with the trust issues. I can't bring myself to date anyone, let alone have sex.” 

Oh. Satoru perked up at you mentioning sex. You had told him you didn't need sex. The reasoning behind that was like an itch he couldn't scratch. You brought it up, so he might as well take the opportunity to ask while he had that.

“Why is that? The sex part, I mean, you deserve your needs to be taken care of as much as the next person.”

“That my friend is because he broke up with me right after we had sex. Imagine just having an orgasm, and your boyfriend gets off of you and tells you he wants to break up before listing everything wrong with you.”

“Fuckin’ shithead.” Satoru wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his chest and hugging you as tightly as possible. “I'm so sorry you went through that. He's an asshole for doing that to you.” Satoru’s hand gently stroked your head as your face rested in the crook of his neck. “I hope you recover soon because you deserve to feel loved and happy.” His hand paused as he snickered. “And have mind-blowing sex that makes you forget all about those bullshit excuses he gave you.” 

Gojo Satoru’s words and tone were so genuine you found yourself smiling into his neck. Your arms wrapped around him as you lay down. “I hope so, too. Thank you, Satoru.” 

“No, thank you for sharing that with me; it means a lot.” 

The two of you stayed like that, his hand stroking your hair while you rested on his chest. Your pillow wall lasted thirty minutes and was never constructed again that night or the following one because there was a comfort you and Satoru found in each other.

The two of you had so much fun during the day. Laughing and talking as you would hang around with your family and friends. You told stories and jokes and went to dinners with the wedding party together. He got along well with everyone, and your friends liked him and his looks. At the same time, your parents admired him for helping around the inn, delivering towels to guests, and cleaning up with you. They saw him as a perfect partner, just like you had paid him to do it.

But you were beginning to wonder if it was just his job or just him being Gojo Satoru. The amount of laughing and talking you did in front and behind closed doors didn't feel like he was doing another job. He seemed to be enjoying himself truly. The days seemed to fly by, and it was hard to believe it was Wednesday night. Satoru walked you to the bar your friends were at for the bachelorette party. If it was Wednesday, you only had four days left with him. 

“Are you planning on getting drunk, like super drunk?” Satoru asked, looking at you from over his sunglasses. “Because that's a sight I would pay money to see.”

“Nah, I'll have a few drinks, but I don't like getting hammered drunk.” You gently bumped your shoulder into his side. “You sure you don't want to join us? The girls said they’re okay if you join.”

“Eh, I don't like drinking. I'm a lightweight, and it never appealed to me. If Suguru were here, oh, he'd be down.” You beamed up at him as he mentioned his one and only best friend. “Seriously, he'd love this shit. Being surrounded by girls, drinking with them.” Satoru shoved his hands in his pockets. “Seriously though, he'd love you. You two would get along great. I’ll have to introduce you to him when we get back to Tokyo.” 

His words struck you like a hot iron. He was pulling out his phone and checking the time, oblivious to what he had just said. The man you were paying to be your boyfriend for a week wanted to introduce you to his friend? His best friend! 

It had your heart fluttering as butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Satoru hadn't even corrected himself as he peered down at you, returning the warm and happy smile you were positive was tugging at your lips. God, you hadn't been this happy in so long.

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” 

“Cool! We should set something up. Maybe we could get din—”

The door to the bar flew open, and your friends, all looking intoxicated, spotted you. “There she is! Hurry up, Y/N, you need to catch up!” the bride-to-be slurred as she reached for you. 

“Waaait!! Mina, let her say bye to Satoru!!” another bridesmaid said, smacking her arm. 

“Right! Right, sorry!”

You giggled, looking into Satoru’s cerulean eyes. “I'm being summoned. I should get going.” Gojo snorted, leaning down and kissing you on the lips. “I'll see you later.”

“Uhm, excuse me.” Mina had a disgusted look on her face. “What the fuck was that lame-ass kiss?” Your other friends nodded in agreement. “Satoru, what the fuck? Don't you like Y/N?” 

“Of course, I like my girlfriend Mina.” 

“Then kiss her like you mean it!!” 

You turned, giving Mina a look that could curdle dairy. “Mina, stop.” She flipped you off, her attention never leaving Satoru’s face.

“If I don't get to go to a strip club, I wanna see a steamy kiss!” The other girls whistled and cheered. “I want it steamy! I'm talking smutty romance-level shit!” 

“Mina!” 

“What you both are hot as fuck! Consider it a wedding gift!!”

“Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!!” 

Oh great, now your drunken friends were chanting, and bystanders were watching. With a grimace, you turned to the very amused Satoru, who stared down at the drunken girls before his gaze fixed on you.  He shrugged a shoulder as if saying, sure, why not? But he left the decision up to you.

While you were tempted not to make your poor pretend boyfriend a walking spectacle for a group of drunk women. The thought of having to listen to them bitch and moan about you being a party pooper was way worse. So you sighed before turning to face Satoru with a smile. 

“You heard them. If we do this, I can return the dish set we bought.” 

“You don't have to tell me twice.” 

Satoru grabbed you by the throat, pinning you against the wall of the bar. His lips slammed against yours in a heated kiss you'd only seen in movies. His tongue was licking your bottom lip, and you so willingly obliged, opening your mouth, allowing his tongue entrance. Satoru trailed the hand that was around your throat down your curves. His large hand gripped your hips as he growled. Fuck he tasted so good, like cola and vanilla candy. Your tongue moved against his, trying to taste more of him. 

While you tasted like strawberries and chocolate to him, it was like a symphony of tastes between your tongues. One that he didn't want to end, his knee pushed its way between your legs, pressing firmly over your clothes core, making you gasp into his mouth, eyes going wide as the intimate touch. Your moan only made Satoru kiss you harder, desperate to feel the vibrations from the desperate sounds escaping your mouth.

“Whoa! Okay! Okay!” Mina shouted, her wine spilling as she hurried forward. “I said kiss her! Not fuck her in public.” Your best friend playfully swatted at his arm.

When Satoru broke the kiss, a string of saliva connected your bottom lips as you both gasped for air. The sheer intensity of the kiss rendered you speechless as he allowed his eyes to trail over your face. Taking in the flush tint of your cheeks, the way your body trembled under his hand, and the subtle way your hips rocked forward against his thigh. It looked like the kiss had as much of an effect on you as it did on him.

He pressed a soft kiss against your slightly swollen lips. “You did ask for a smutty book kiss.” Satoru sighed as he pulled away. “I just delivered what you asked for.” Mina said something along the lines of ‘smutty kiss without the smut, please’ as she headed back into the bar. “Well, she might not have enjoyed it, but at least you seemed like you did.” His teasing tone slowly brought you back to reality.

”Y-Yeah, it was lovely.” You fanned yourself before heading to follow after your friends. “I’ll see you later tonight.” You breathed out, but just before you could make it inside the door, Satoru grabbed your wrist, pulling you in for a hug.

”Call me when you’re done, and I’ll come get you, okay?”

”Okay.”

His lips were against yours again before he released you. “Okay.” He repeated your word back to you before waving you off as he headed back in the direction of the inn.

His kiss, the tone of voice, and the mere conversation of introducing him to his best friend whirled around your mind as you guzzled down a shot of sake, which had to have been the fifth one in the last forty minutes. While the other bridal party members were laughing and talking, you stared at the table. The kiss and Satoru’s words replayed over and over again in your head, like old sitcom reruns. 

Was it normal for an escort to tell a client they wanted to introduce them to their friends? Was he just being friendly or taking pity on you? Then there was that kiss outside of the bar! He didn’t have to put his knee between your legs, but he did! Now your panties were wet, and the more you thought about the kiss, about him, the wetter they seemed to get.

Holy shit, what was wrong with you!? 

Just three days ago, you told the guy you didn’t have sex; you didn’t need it. But the more you got to know him, the more times he kissed you, the more your icy resolve began to melt. Gojo Satoru was lighting a fire within you. One that you were very cautious of because you didn’t want to be burned again.

You got up from the table, swaying as you headed for the bathroom. Was Satoru just being nice? Or did he feel the same way you did? There was some sort of connection between the two of you. One that you might want to explore if he wants to as well. Why else would he talk to you the way that he did?

Entering the bathroom, you sighed, staring at your reflection in the mirror. Your fingers trailed over your still-swollen lip. Toji had never kissed you like that in the past. Staring in the mirror, you groaned. An image of Toji stood behind you, haunting you like he had done for the last year and a half. 

“Ugh, just get the fuck out of my head and let me heal already.” You scolded the image of him in the mirror, flipping it off.

”I’m in your head?”

Your heart stopped, and your hand dropped to your side. Toji’s image smirked as he tilted his head. You were getting ready to ask yourself how drunk you were when Toji moved. His hands landed on the sink, caging you in while the smell of cedarwood engulfed you like a cloud of smoke.

”Toji—!”

“Shut up, we need to talk.”

(TBC)

Taglist:

@arminloverlol @jamzywiththejam28 @gojoful @maskedpacific @ahseyy @kash77 @sadmonke @ari-maccha @sugurubabe @hyori2 @bluechocolatemint @itsinherited @dellappatca @therealestpussyeater @dead-at-tokyo @nvrgojover @drakenswifeyy @nealeart @yunho-leeknow @fire-child-kira

[a-sip-of-milo]

Need a reason to live?

Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️

Relationships

Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)

Your friends

Your family

Those who look up to you

To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while

Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)

There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going

To eventually be a mentor to someone

To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone

To fall in love

Your partner

To meet your online friends/mutuals

To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it

To see someone close to you through their final days

To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about

Your FP (personality disorder specific)

Group photos with your (found) family and friends

To help your friends do the same

The friends you've yet to meet

A promise you made to someone special

Acts of kindness

To be there when someone needs you

To see someone smile because of you

To make a stranger's day a little brighter

To hand out compliments to those who need it

To make the world a little bit better before you go

To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated

To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.

To help someone you love to quit an addiction

To do charitable deeds

Affection

Hugs from someone you trust

Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet

Cuddles when it's cold/lonely

To laugh until your stomach hurts

Forehead touches

To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing

Doting on people when they're feeling down

To make the people around you laugh

Interests

That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for

Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations

To share creations that aren't appreciated enough

To save up for something that would make life more bearable

To finally complete a collection

Projects would be left unfinished

To travel

To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time

Projects you've yet to come up with

To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold

To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced

Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours

Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))

To stick it to your abusers

To prove your younger self wrong

To prove the people around you wrong

To prove your younger self right

To prove the people around you right

To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you

As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you

To outlive your enemies

To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)

To show off your success to the people who doubted you

To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win

Milestones

You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go

To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own

To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to

To graduate from school

To see your wounds from self-harm heal

To experience old age

To get married

To recover from your eating disorder

To experience independence

To start/complete your transition

To go on your first date

To get your first job

To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve

To rescue a pet and give them a home

To purchase your first car

To rent/purchase your first house/apartment

To have your first child

To lose your virginity

To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation

To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.

Miscellaneous

To finally get diagnosed with something important

So if nothing else, you can still say you survived

You have a bucket list you'd like to complete

To live because you want to, not because others want you to

Comfort drinks with someone you love

You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday

Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.

To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.

All the different foods you've yet to try

To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it

To watch the seasons change

To celebrate the holidays

For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good

To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now

To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger

If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.

If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can 💞

[alicerosejensen]

Together forever pt.3

Warning: Yandere!leon; kidnapping, forced cohabitation, stalkering, fem/reader, age difference, pet names.

A/N: I wrote this earlier, but I will repeat it again so that there are no complaints: I do not approve of this in real life. What is written here is simply fiction, if you have any psychological trauma associated with this or do not like such content then DO NOT READ!

Part 1

Part 2

He really didn’t want to resort to force, but you simply left him no choice...

Flashback to weeks earlier, when you weren't yet under his protection, Leon was analyzing everything about his sweet angel. Well, ultimately, carrying your once again unconscious body back to bed, of course, the last thing he wanted was for you to get injured, but you never know what stupid thoughts could come to your mind after waking up again, so putting you into bed, he pulled out the handcuffs and chained your hand to the headboard of the bed. Not very comfortable but you can sleep.

Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want to keep you on a leash like a dog at all, but Leon has noticed for a long time that you are in constant danger. Back in that dusty archive, when you reached for another folder, the laces on your worn sneakers were untied. Darling, you don't know how to tie your shoelaces at all! He immediately thought that you could have fallen and broken your neck or any other bone, you could even have died by your own negligence! It's good that Agent Kennedy was around, right?

Looking at how you sleep and your eyelids twitch in your sleep, Leon threw the blanket back over you. He knows that your sleep is restless, in fact, he almost knows about nightmares, but you didn't need to be afraid anymore. Nevertheless, Leon was well aware that a sudden change of situation and getting used to the new rules that he created to protect you would be stressful for some time. However, it was still better than wandering through dark unsafe alleys alone on the way home, drinking drinks in cheap bars with your friends who didn't even bother to call you a taxi. Leon doesn't know who to thank for the fact that you're still alive and haven't been raped by some asshole who would break your whole life. Despite the fact that the DSO pays its people well, this rather applies to agents and various informants who risk their lives, but small archivists like you do not interest them at all. Therefore, his angel could not afford a nice apartment in a decent neighborhood without bastards and drug dealers who would gladly get you hooked on some trash. The door of your apartment was indecently easy to open Leon would have done it without a lock pick without any problems, but he didn't want to scare you, however…

It is now his house completely at your disposal. The refrigerator is filled with high-quality products and not cheap instant noodles whose packages were lying in your trash. Money was really tight, wasn't it? A mug with a touch of tea or coffee that for some reason you didn't want to wash well, an unmade bed with your smell that he liked to inhale so much. The moment he plopped down on your bed, the desire to hold you in his arms just took root in him.

He wanted your scent to sink deep into him, to penetrate into every cell of his body. He just needed to possess you. That's why Leon couldn't wait, especially since you never let him become anything closer than just a colleague with whom you chatted during lunch. At some point, knowing where you live, he even came up with the idea that you were really offended, but there was nothing about it from your correspondence or medical records. Like you just liked being alone.

He was watching you to keep you safe. He walked you home ready to become a savior at any moment, it's not the first time he's saved a lady in trouble, despite the fact that you weren't actually that lady. Not according to Leon. Sometimes he came to your apartment and leafed through your books that he didn't like, but he didn't judge. He was taught to be quiet and inconspicuous, so it was extremely difficult to understand about someone else's presence. The only thing that really started to bother you is that things sometimes rearrange themselves and the old traces of coffee on your favorite mug magically disappeared. Robberies were not uncommon in this troubled area, but the only valuable things in your apartment were a laptop and a game console. Actually, it was important for Leon to know about all your preferences!

Now it was all in the past. You're safe here with him, away from all the shit that can hurt you. And in fact, you no longer need to worry about bills and how to live until the next paycheck. Leon doesn't consider himself a psycho when he lies down next to you, inhaling the scent of your body, pulling you to him, kissing your temple. After all, if you want, he will become the hero of those stupid books for you.

"I will definitely take care of you," he whispers, making you shudder in your sleep after hearing this insinuating voice that leaves no chance of salvation.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Your resistance is really annoying. You are still sitting handcuffed to the bed and there are already bloody marks on your wrist from the skin erased into blood after a steady twitching of your hand.

"I just need to dress you up," Leon says in a calm voice, while his patience still allows him to hold in his hands cute clothes for his angel.

Skirt, tights, and a warm sweater. Of course it's warm at home, but he wants to be sure that you have everything you need. That's just you kicking, yelling at him and crying incessantly ignoring the pain in your wrist.

"Baby, don't make me use force. Enough of this moaning!"

"Let me go!" you shout on the verge of pulling the hated handcuffs even without looking at him. Over the past two days, hysteria has been covering you with your head constantly not allowing you to think clearly.

Leon sighs. In any case, he doesn't want to stuff you with drugs anymore, and then what he was trained as an agent comes into play. He needs to break the will of the enemy or rather his beloved. He didn't want to take emergency measures, but you just forced him. He comes up to you squatting down and takes your face by the chin, forcing you to look into his cold eyes. The prepared clothes fly to a chair that is too far from the bed to reach it, but it doesn't matter anymore.

"To be honest, I didn't think that you would calmly react to the move," you were outraged when you heard his words

"Moving in with you?!" you cry out. Tears are spurting from eyes. "Since when is kidnapping suddenly called moving?! I'm not a stray animal for you to just pick me up and stab me in the neck with various rubbish!"

"I could have been slower, but you just left me no choice. Seriously, I could no longer watch you live in that anthill and spend 10 hours in a dusty room earning yourself asthma. Although considering your problems with shoelaces, I would bet that you would have killed yourself earlier by falling off a stepladder or would have been crushed by one of those huge boxes with folders."

“what?.." a guess flashes through your head.

Of course, he could probably somehow get a dossier on you and find out the address of your residence, but… rearranged things, a mug… Did he break into your apartment? You've heard that Leon was one of the best. Patrick even once mentioned that the president himself constantly praised Leon and his services to the country could not be called insignificant. There are many successfully completed missions behind him, but you have never really cared about it. At least until you yourself become one of these successful missions.

"Your poor stomach won't thank you for stuffing it with these disgusting noodles and chocolate. You need to eat right, honey," his words make you angry "You need a proper daily routine, good sleep, fresh air and balanced nutrition. I can provide you with all this, but you only need to be my good girl."

Leon's hands grab you by the face and his forehead presses against yours when he closes his eyes, stroking your cheeks wet with tears with his thumb, then briefly and gently kissing your lips, which is why you try to turn away from him.

"Heal your head!" another shout and insult. "As an agent, you're probably supposed to have some fancy psychiatrist or psychologist!"

"It's true," he easily agrees, biting his lip and getting back on his feet. It still didn't work out in a good way to solve the issue "One way or another, you will obey me. I just wanted us to come to this without unnecessary conflict and tantrums, but if you like it more, then fine. Sit alone for a couple of days without food and water. And I'll come back later and you'll tell me about your decision."

"Wait!" You called out to him almost at the door when he had already turned the handle. Leon turned in anticipation of your words and probably there was still a glimmer of hope in him that you would accept his love right now without radical decisions. "You can't keep me here! My family and at work will be looking for me. No one will believe that I just disappeared!"

Leon only grinned briefly.

"Oh, sweetheart. People disappear every day and believe me, many don't care about them, and as for your family, they could take better care of you, but if they didn't, then this care falls on my shoulders"

The hope that it was just a way of intimidation for further submission glowed deep in your chest. No matter how much the soul did not want it, the brain still suggested that Leon was never the one for whom he could be mistaken. The sound of his footsteps quickly subsided and occasionally you could catch some rustling and knocking on the ground floor. Didn't want to know what Kennedy was doing there, but fear kept throwing up ideas about some sadistic torture room and the fact that he wanted you to forcibly become his girlfriend made you suspect of possible sexual abuse after which it would be impossible to become the same.

And yet the wounded deer jumps higher, fights more desperately. You tried to somehow take off your handcuffs, and to be honest with yourself, your hand was really hurting mercilessly that you wanted to howl. It will be quite difficult without an analgesic. The search for some kind of paper clip, an accidentally lying nail under the bed or something with which you could unlock the lock was not successful. However, you didn't have the hacking skill either, and the handcuffs definitely weren't from some sex shop. Steel bites into the skin until it bleeds, and it would be worth listening to Leon though in this: no need to make sudden movements. Moreover, there are already enough bloodstains on the bed linen, but you were so absorbed in despair that the brain simply ignored part of the pain, but very soon it will be very hard.

Add to that the fact that Leon decided to starve you.

At first, everything was even tolerable. The stomach began to cramp from hunger only in the evening add to this the fact that you are being kept locked up handcuffed to the bed makes your body exhausted. You cried for several hours, but Leon's mercy did not descend to you. It really wasn't a prank and he kidnapped you for his own purposes, which you didn't want to know anything about.

"Leon?.." is quieter than you wanted, you called him again.

It all seemed like a nightmare. Time dragged on so slowly that it was unbearable and scary from the unknown. You were hoping that Leon had made a mistake somewhere and the police would find you very soon, the main thing at this moment is to stay alive and not dead because you definitely won't be able to win by force against a government agent who has undergone professional training and completed many successful missions. When your nerves calmed down a little, you started thinking about how to deceive him. It may not be possible to escape, but send an SMS or make a call to the rescue service. You've heard these stories when a girl called under some pretext and was rescued, but will Leon trust you with the phone?

Later you heard footsteps. Probably Leon was listening to the sounds that you could make, but you were silent, looking at the door with the eyes of a frightened doe. However, nothing happened.

He's probably gone.

The throat was dry. You tightly squeezed your eyes shut trying to calm your breathing and come up with a plan of action. If hunger helped at first, then as time went on, the thought of food and water constantly stirred your thoughts.

there was one maddening silence around. Your wrist began to itch and throb painfully, the blood clotted, but at the slightest movement it began to bleed. It got dark outside again and it started to get cold. You carefully crawled under the blanket, covering your frozen feet with it, trying not to think about the desired water, especially since you had of blood loss. How long can you live without water? 3 days? 4 maybe 5 days?

"Please?" you whispered softly, starting to cry again and giving in to panic. "Leon?"

You needed painkillers. It was a bad idea to actively pull with your hand, but people often do what is not necessary when they panic and you had enough reasons to worry, but in the end there was no point in protesting. Not when you are on someone else's territory under the power of a physically strong person. And yet, most of you wanted to scream and scream, beat him and fight, and not invent plans to escape and naively rely on his mercy, which probably does not exist.

"Leon!" you called again louder in a plaintive voice, licking your dry lips. "Please… at least give me some water."

Drugs and stress perfectly lead to dehydration. Especially the first one considering that you were sick earlier. But Leon was still deaf to the pleas, it was generally quiet downstairs. Maybe he was already asleep?

By nightfall, the condition only worsened. You wrist was swollen and even the slightest movement caused hellish pain, throat was dry and your stomach hurt wildly that it began to seem that he began to digest himself. Maybe agents can safely endure such trials with dignity, but again, you have never been interested in this. You didn't even have the strength to cry.

Actually, it didn't take him two days because his heart was just bursting with pity for you.

Leon looked at you with such a puppy-dog look when you were sitting on the bed with your head bowed and trembling. Well, one day would be enough for his princess, and he sincerely hoped that this punishment would be more than enough.

Click.

You shuddered from another flash of pain and when you opened your eyes, you shuddered with fright when you came face to face with him again.

However, the handcuffs were removed.

"poor girl, I really didn't want anything," he threw the handcuffs on the bedside table, "But sometimes we have to do things that we don't like, right? if you hadn't screamed, things wouldn't be so bad right now and your arm wouldn't be swollen."

He stretched out his arms to lift you up, but noticed another resistance when your tired body moved away from him, which made Leon look at you with a threatening look again.

"Do you want to sit like this for another day?"

You nodded your head negatively and out of fear allowed him to lift you up to lower you to the first floor.

"Give me some water, please…" by God, this was the only thought in head

"Be patient angel" Leon's lips touched your temple when he put you on the sofa.

The glass of water handed to you turned out to be so desirable that it seemed you were a traveler lost in the desert who found an oasis. And yet Leon didn't limit you to one glass, allowing you to drink as much as you need, BUT in small sips. Given the thirst, you ignored his words and eventually choked, starting to cough while covering your face with your hand. Of course he didn't like it.

"Sure it's my fault, but you have to listen to me!" An irritated male voice made you shrink and look at him with those cute eyes that Leon loves and hates so much because you are afraid of him.

He put the first aid kit next to the table and took your wrist carefully, first examining the deep abrasion. You screamed loudly when Leon treated her with a disinfectant solution and then wrapped her in a bandage. having previously smeared some ointment, but it did not hurt less from this. And then he kissed you on the forehead like a brave child for whom it was a feat to endure such a thing.

"What do you want from me anyway?" you asked, afraid of the answer anyway, because your presence here did not bode well. "I didn't do anything wrong to you"

"I didn't say you did anything to me. I just want to take care and keep the one I love safe. In this case, it's you."

"Me?"

"Exactly," he smiled, sitting closer, "I wanted everything to be like everyone else, but you didn't give me a chance. Good for Patrick, too. And yet, to see how you walk everywhere where there is a potential danger… I just couldn't, Princess. I just couldn't take it anymore. But now I promise that I will take care of you and I know you better than you know yourself! Just leave all the tantrums of the fight. No more bumps or bites. I'm serious!"

Yes, there was a good mark of your teeth on his hand.

Although you didn't smile and were actually horrified by the human diversity, one thing was clear for sure even through fear - he wasn't going to kill you or…rape. The latter is not accurate, but the soul hoped for it.

"Just let's do it in order." You reluctantly nodded knowing that you have no choice "First we will put you in order, I will make you a bath and you wash, then you will eat and we will have a good rest and in the morning I will tell you about the rules with a fresh head. I will give you everything you want: books, clothes, cosmetics, whatever you want, but in return, no resistance, okay?!" Leon's hand stroked your tangled hair and at the same time pulled you closer to him against your will, but even despite a little resistance, he pressed you to his chest. "I won't be in a hurry. We will go slowly, there is no need to be afraid for me, the main thing is your safety, and there will be time for the rest"

And hear the joyful beating of his heart, you hoped only that you would have enough time to find help or escape, but for now… you may have to be not an obedient but a cunning girl, otherwise the consequences can be fatal.

For now, you need to wait for the moment and find its weaknesses.

[tobitofunction]

A Pact of Fire and Ice Part 1

Recently became obsessed with Cregan Stark but I still love the Targaryen's. So here I go.

No skin tone was mentioned only the mentions of hair colour. Also some differences from the books to this

part2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

Everything went so fast just a few days ago you were eating dinner in Kings Landing with your family. Now the same family was finally severed after years of hanging by a string, your mother Princess Rhaenyra was supplanted by your Uncle Aegon, and your younger brother was killed by your Uncle Aemond on a diplomatic trip. You meanwhile are being prepped to your journey to Winterfell where you meet your betrothed Lord Cregan Stark. Your brother Jaceryer's offered your hand in marriage to the young wolf. After discussing with his council he accepted." My sweet girl why that face" your mother's voice made you turn around," I'm just preparing myself to leave my home and get married to someone I don't know" You shrugged, Rhaenyra sighed," I felt the same when I married your father Laenor, both of us weren't keen on it. Still, we made it work" she said touching your silver hair gently, unlike your brothers you have inherited the traditional Valerian features of purple eyes and silver hair much to your mother delight as it got suspicions of her firstborn son's parentage of her back for a while."But it mostly it will help us gain a great ally as if House Stark is on our side so will the rest of the north" Daemon said showing up out of nowhere, you sighed," I love being a political pawn" you said to him with an eye roll," Princess since you became off age your mother and I have been drowning in papers of houses asking for your hand in marriage but we haven't accepted any of them as your mother wanted you to make your own choices, but circumstances changed. You should be lucky it's Lord Cregan Stark who will be your husband and not someone else" Daemon said making you squint your eyes at him," Cregan Stark is an honourable man my sweet girl" Rhaenyra said trying to defuse the situation," I'm doing this only for you mother" you said after a minute of silence, she smiled at you and kissed your temple," You remind me of your father" she said," I wish he could have been here" Rhaenyra gave you a tight-lipped smile,"So do I, now say your goodbye's your dragon is being prepared as we speak".

Joffrey was holding tight onto you his face buried in your stomach, "Please don't leave. Don't leave me" he whimpered, tears falling down his chubby cheeks," I will be back before you know it Jof. Take care of Dragonstone and Mother for me. My brave little brother, I know you can do it" You said while touching his hair gently, he slowly backed away from you, wiping tears away. You turned to Corlys and Rhaenys," You be safe in Winterfell, Lord Cregan is one of the finest swordsmen the seven kingdoms have ever seen. He will take good care of you" Corlys said placing a hand on your shoulder," That's not the reason I don't want to go Grandsire" Corlys nodded," I know but duty is important. Both your father and mother didn't want to get married but they did as it was there duty to the realm", you didn't answer but just bowed your head, Coryls grabbed your chin and made you look up at him,"And you being in the north will also stop you taking up arms to ride into battle to fight your Kinslayer Uncle. I already lost one grandchild to the Greens, I don't want to lose another" he said sincerely, you smiled sadly at him before moving towards Rhaenys who took you by the hands," I wish Laenor would see you right now. He would have loved the woman you have turned to. I still remember how happy he was the day you were born, his first and only girl. Take care of yourself, take the long route to the north in case the greens try to attack. This alliance is a turning point in this war, with the north-","I know, with the North my mother's throne can secured back, they have the biggest army in the North" she nodded, she gave you a hug gently caressing your hair before letting you go. You smiled at her before turning to your dragon Tyraxes, a beautiful Snow White dragon whose scales glittered in a purple hue when the sun shone and green eyes,"issi ao ready syt se journey bē jelmor? (are you ready for the journey up north?)".

Meanwhile Cregan Stark was taking Jacaerys out for a hunting trip wanting to know everything about his future wife and Jace was happy to give him the info," She is a bit of a handful at times so good luck with that. People say she is like mother when she was younger. But her beauty is something from out of this world. Her hair shines like diamonds in the sun, her eyes a purple like never seen before and her skin as soft as silk" Jace said in a way which made Cregan wonder if he was in love with his sister, everyone in the realm knew about the Royal Families queer customs," She loves the colour red and always wears jewellery doesn't matter what the situation is rings, necklaces and earrings are always on her" Jace continued," I had this in mind for her do you think she will like it?" Cregan said reaching into his pelt pulling out a small necklace and handing it to Jace who gently took it,"Is this made out of Dragon glass and Valyrian steel?" Jace asked surprised," I found it within my family Heirlooms, I don't know the history of it but I knew it was Valeyrian steel because of the feel of steel it's just like Ice," he said patting the sword which was attached to his hip,"Valeyrian piece of Jewellery should be worn by a Valeyrian Princess" Jace looked at the necklace more in detail it was a dragon which wrapped around a dragon glass sphere, "She will love it. I'm sure of it" he said handing back the necklace. Cregan tugged back under his pelt,"Let's try to hunt for something, your sister will be here by nightfall"

Just like Cregan said you arrived at Nightfall, Tyraxes landed on the snowy ground, the snow jumped into the air from the impact of the large beast,"I'm Princess Y/N, I'm here for Cregan Stark" you said to an approaching knight,"Follow me your highness" he said trying to avoid eye contact with Tyraxes, you patted her nose before following the guard into the castle. You pulled your cloak closer to your body, as the clothes you are wearing aren't doing much to protect you from the cold,"It be warmer once you get inside Princess" the guard said noticing you shivering.

Cregan was waiting in the main hall, Jace was with him excited to see his sister again."Princess Y/N of House Targaryen has arrived Lord Cregan" the guard said. The older man moved towards you,"Your Grace, I'm Lord Cregan Stark, Warden of the North" he said bowing his head to you," I assumed so as the guard called you Lord Cregan and you are the only other person here beside my brother" you said while brushing snow of your shoulders," I have a room prepared for you my Princess. It's close to your brothers, tomorrow I want to show you around Winterfell" he said ignoring the tone of your voice, he did study you from head to toe, Jace wasn't lying when he said your beauty is from out of this world. Your hair looked indeed diamonds when the warm lights of the candles hit them and your eyes took his breath away, "What are you waiting for my Lord? I want to change and I'm in need of rest" Cregan nodded,"Follow me Princess".

You followed Cregan towards your room,"I hope it's to your liking Princess" he said opening the door, It was smaller than your room in King Landing and Dragonstone but it felt homier, the furs and many wooden objects with the warm candlelight, you removed your cape and placed it onto a chair,"It's surprisingly warm in here" you said as Cregan moved towards the Fire place where he threw in more wood,"It's because of the hot springs, you need to see them sister. They are amazing" Jace said excitedly,"I leave the two of you be. You probably have a lot to talk about. My Prince, Princess" he said leaving the two of you alone.

You sat down on the couch making Jace follow he grabbed your hands,"Luce...-","We never found a body, well never his full one. We gave him a dragon rider funeral it was nice, only you were missing" you said sadly making Jace squeeze your hand,"I wish I could have been there. I wish it was me who went to Stormsend. Since I heard about his death, I have been dreaming about our last interaction. It wasn't positive, he was scared and worried and I just yelled at him. It's not what a brother does, it's not what a King is supposed to do" Jace said getting emotional," It's not your fault, you were worried as well and emotions can run high during those moments. The only ones to blame are the greens, our Uncle especially" you said kissing his cheek, making him sigh,"I'm glad you are here my sweet sister" he said touching your cheek gently,"I should be mad at you, selling me off like I'm some cattle" Jace grimaced," I did what was needed, he recently lost his heir and second wife. He needs a new one, his council was encouraging him. He's a great man, he will treat you right" he said while gently caressing your cheek, you leaned into his touch and sighed,"If it will help us get back the Iron Throne then so be it. At least he isn't ancient like some of the other Lords" you said making Jace chuckle," Only the best for my beloved sister" he said,"I let you get some rest. Lord Cregan has the day planned out for you".

The next day you were awoken by a knock on the door, "Princess" a servant girl appeared from between the doors, "Lord Cregan asked me to assist you in getting ready" she said with a soft smile, you nodded and stepped out of the bed,"Did you sleep well Princess","Yes, the beds are softer than I imagined, so are the furs I thought they would be scratchy" you chuckled," Lord Cregan made sure we gave you the best furs" she said placing down a gown on the bed before she began working on your hair, "Is this for me?", "Yes, it's more suited for the weather than the gown you arrived in yesterday. Even though stunning it's ill-suited for the weather" she said,"Very well" you said looking down at the gown, It was a deep red gown made out of a think velvet, and it had embroidery in the form of flowers and leaves on it, "It's beautiful" you said," It belonged to Lords first wife, she wore it often" she said making you frown,"It must mean a lot to him than?" you said as the servant picked the dress up again and back unlacing the back,"She was his first love, gave birth to his heir, so yes the dress means a lot to him" she said as you stepped into the gown,"Why would he give to me than?", "Cause Prince Jacaerys told him red is your favourite colour and you need more suiting clothes," she said,"That's very sweet of him," you said,"Your hair is truly beautiful Princess. We in Winterfell heard of your beauty often, so often that it seemed exaggerated but now seeing you" she smiled,"I'm sorry, it's just here in Winterfell we don't see many variations in peoples looks. Your brother fits right in but you not so much....looks wise of course Princess," she said quickly finishing lacing you up,"Lord Cregan will meet you in the great hall for breakfast".

Cregan was drumming his fingers on the wood, the food in front of him slowly becoming cold,"More wine?" a cupbearer asked, but Cregan only answered by waving him away." So nervous, it's not like you" a female voice said making turn around,"Sarah what are you doing here?" he asked with a smile," I want to see my brother embarrass himself in front of the Princess of this realm" she smiled cheekily," I forgot how long woman take to get ready" he said making Sarah roll her eyes at him," Ironic as there are best clothes. Someone likes to make an impression" she continued to tease, Cregan playfully rolled his eyes, like you tried to make an impression with the young Prince. This is your best dress" he said making her blush," I just want to look good, we don't have royalty here often and besides he is engaged to another and why would a Prince like a bastard like me anyway" She shrugged. Cregan patted her hair gently,"You are my sister which makes you a Stark, it doesn't matter what the others say". Sarah smiled and was about to say something when the door opened revealing you, in the red dress which made Cregan get up from his seat,"My Lord sorry for the wait" you said folding your hands together,"The dress..." Sarah began,"It looks stunning you Princess" Cregan said, he wasn't lying, you indeed look ethereal with it but the emotions of seeing another woman in his dead love dress made him feel emotional, A bit of regret began filling him but also something else started to bubble inside him. He didn't know what yet,"Let's eat, you must be starving," he said,"This is Sarah Snow...my.." Cregan didn't know how to word it,"I'm his Bastard sister," she said bluntly,"It's an honour to have you here in Winterfell your Highness," she said bowing,"It's an honour to be here," you said with a tight-lipped smile,"Is my brother joining us?" you asked sitting down," No your grace, he's breaking his fast in his room. Today is for us to get to know each other and for you to know Winterfell" Cregan said taking a sip of his wine, and looking at Sarah mentally telling her to leave,"I be on my way, have a lovely day" you smiled at her,"She seems lovely" you said cutting into the food," She is, I love her dearly doesn't matter if she is a bastard" he said making you smile." I have another gift for you" he said,"Bring it to me" he said making a servant nod and leave the room before re-entering it,"Here you will need it for the outside" he said as the servant handed you the bundle, it was white with some black and grey thrown in it, it was soft,"It's made of Wolf fur, your brother and I hunted it. We are going eat the meet for dinner tonight" he said,"The craftsmanship id amazing" you said as," I will send them your regards. I thought white would suit you well" he said with a smile,"Thank you Lord Cregan" he smiled,"Let's go, winter is close which means it will get darker sooner and I have a lot to show you" he said while you pulled the jacket on.

"These are the Godswood," Cregan said as you looked around in awe, "It's stunning, it's like those woods from fairytales," you said as the snow crunched underneath your boots,"It's so much larger than the one in the red keep," you said while looking snow covered trees, Cregan hummed in response,"The heart tree is just this way" he said placing his hand on your back and led you to the centre of the Godswood. Soon you were met with the large white tree, the white branches expand in a longer fashion than the one within the Red Keep. The red leaves stood out on its white surroundings,"You believe in the old gods instead of the faith of the seven?" you said,"Yes, don't try to convert me, Princess, your brother tried and failed ","Do not worry, I don't follow the seventh anymore. I find comfort within the Gods of Old Valyria" you said gently touching the leaves of the heart tree."Tell me more about those gods than" Cregan said making you turn around to face him,"Maybe another time my Lord, I want you to continue showing me around Winterfell" you said crossing your arms behind your back.

Cregan continued to show you around Winterfell," The last thing I want to show you is this" he said, he led you to a large door that was made from unfamiliar material, it looked heavy, Cregan seemed to struggle a little bit to open it. Once open only darkness was can be seen," Those are the crypts of Winterfell, all the tombs of my ancestors are kept here" he said grabbing a torch before walking into the darkness,"A bit inappropriate for a first date, he could at least wait for our third before showing me where all his dead relatives are being shoved in" you mumbled before following him. It was dark and chilly and the air was wet which made you wrinkle your nose as you walked down the spiral staircase. "These are statues of the Lords before me," he said shining his torch on the statues, "This one is of my father," Cregan said, he said looking up at the large stone statue,"Do you remember much of your father?", he shook his head," I just remember bits and pieces, I wish I remembered more and I wish I could forget the day he died" you said, Cregan looked at you,"You where there?" you hummed," I hear commission in the throne room of Driftmark, it was only days after my aunt's funeral. I couldn't sleep because of the events from the last few days, so I decided to see what was happening. I found my Grandmother crying over some shard remains, Grandsire Coryl's was yelling at the guards so I knew it must have been my father" you said making Cregan look at you sadly,"No child should have witnessed something like that. I'm sorry Princess for your loss, for all of your losses" he said," Let's leave, this place is giving me the creeps" you said.

Jace was talking to Sarah when you arrived back,"Hello sweet sister how was your trip" he asked,"I know Winterfell now, which was the purpose of this trip" You shrugged making Jace give you a look,"It went well brother. I want to take a bath however" you said,"I will tell the maids to draw you one" Sarah said which made you nod,"Thank you. Until then I will go back to my dragon" you said walking off with Jace following behind. "Now sister, tell the truth about your trip" he said,"I said everything that needed to be said Jace. I won't fall in love with him after one trip," you said before breaking off into a sprint when you saw Tyraxes in the distance, "I missed you girl," you said hugging her neck,"So you saying there is a possibility in you falling in love with him," Jace said making you roll your eyes, "I didn't say that"," but you also didn't deny it," he said,"Don't you have a fiancé to return too and annoy?" you huffed,"Not until you and Cregan are wedded, he wants to marry in the way of the old gods" he said making you look at him with a lifted brow,"It's a very intimate ceremony similar to a traditional Valeryian one" Jace explained making you nod.

[nipuni]

Some various lighthearted life updates 🏃‍♀️

It's been a very busy last few months! in a good way mostly. We had a friend visiting us from overseas so we showed him around the city and took him to all our favourite places. We also met new people and were invited to a bunch of events so it's been very fun! We are all out of social battery tho so now we are slowing down a bit and getting back to work. Nicolas is on a short work trip to Berlin and I'm back to painting. We also started running! aaand we are also back to watching a bunch of shows and to me talking about it here to like five people 😌

Under the cut cause it's a lot as usual!

We finished watching S13 of Doctor Who! (we still have the specials to go but after that we are all caught up!) I haven't updated in ages so here are lot of opinions!

We really did not enjoy S11 😞 I was aware it wasn't very popular but we were hoping it was for all the wrong reasons, sadly we found many to be valid. Some of the episodes were baffling, Rosa? Kerblam?! the writing of the whole season in general felt like a rushed school assignment. The first part of Spyfall was a strong start for the next season but that ending in the second part was really not it. We did love Sacha Dhawan's Master tho!! and we really love Jodie too, 13th is adorable and reminded us of Ten at times! Jodie is such a fantastic actress that it makes the quality of the writing and everything else around her even more frustrating 😫 S12 was an improvement in general. In the last few episodes It felt like the writing team suddenly remembered the companions could have a personality and agency lmao. Highlights for us were Spyfall one, Fugitive of the Judoon and Haunting of villa Diodati, tho we did also enjoy most other episodes of the season despite their issues.

The timeless child plot reveal felt a bit underwhelming? The idea on itself has potential but it felt mishandled (and it had a bit of a Moffat flavour to it? and not in a good way). I think it was meant to add more depth to the Doctor's lore but in a way it ends up having the opposite effect. Then the flux was just a complete mess. It read like a Marvel sort of plot, very comic book like which is alright I suppose if that is something you enjoy but it felt out of place. But mostly it was just way too much, it got out of hand. Anyway we still have the specials to watch! and I think the Master is in them so we are looking forward to it 🥰

We also watched Broadchurch!! and we LOVED it. We ended up binging all three seasons. Chibnall's writing on this is surprisingly great and Jodie's acting is spectacular she really shines here. Olivia and David are always brilliant!! honestly everyone's acting was amazing. This series had us both tearing up every five scenes. The direction and the music are outstanding. I could watch Hardy and Miller solve crimes forever I really love their chemistry and dynamic. We went into it expecting the usual detective fiction but it ended up being a whole study on grief with such a focus on family and community and trauma and a ton of touching interconnected character arcs, just really really good!!

Then we also watched Taking over the Asylum!! MAN we were not expecting to have our hearts wrung out like laundry by this!! We thought it was a lighthearted show!! GOD we are still not over it, what the fuck!! It was so good we loved it!! but we were not prepared lmao what do you mean 'the end'?? we'll be thinking of this for months, I was expecting an extra scene after the credits or something. Excellent characters, refreshing depictions of mental illness and trauma and so crushingly realistic. Every character is so loveable I really wish this was longer 😭

And our quest to watch everything with David Tennant on it continues. We watched Decoy Bride on Valentines day too and it was terrible but such a hilarious fever dream kind of bad that it was fun, it has David on it and he never disappoints. I feel so lucky that Nicolas and I are both in love with him, get yourself a man who shares your celebrity crushes lmao it's so fun!! We feel like teens again chatting about him and drawing little hearts next to his pictures haha 🥰 We watched the BAFTAs just for him and speaking of the baftas!! I was not expecting that last drawing of his outfits to get that much attention oh my god 😭 thank you!! you are all insane and I appreciate it so much!! and thank you for all the support in general, about my art and photos and just everything. I feel very lucky and grateful 😭 anyway I'll end this before I get sappy, that is all for now! I hope this week is kind to you all, I'll be sharing some more art soon 😊

[ineedtherapist]

Ca we have the crusaders with a touch starved Fem!s/o? She is like and at the same time loves to give affection back!

Eyyyoooo I have some free time today so LET'S FCKING GOOO

This idea is so fcking cute AHAHJAJ

13/12 =I'm sorry cuz I kinda lost idea on polnareff and avdol💀

side note: HELP- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE FR-

Crusaders with a touch starved fem!s/o hcs

Jotaro

"...yare yare daze. C'mere"

Jotaro is crazily good with physical touches. Like bro is Holly son and Joseph grandson. One way or another he definitely carry that genes in him.

This guy is stupidly observant, prob already notice about it but never says a thing.

OMG I HAVEN'T WRITE FOR AGES I'M LOSING MY TOUCH

He's a mysterious typa guy so yes he wouldn't reciprocate that much when in public but I guaranteed you when both him and his s/o are alone he'll initiate the first move.

Doesn't mind his s/o touch him as long as they understand his boundaries.

Actually loves,enjoy N appreciate it especially after having a rough day.

HANDS ON HEAD HANDS ON HEAD HANDS ON HEAD-

and on waist too as a matter of fact.

while laying down.

cuddling.

forehead kissing.

their s/o rambling bout their day

and him listening with occasional 'mmhmm and then?"

yeah. feel a bit too personal ifykyk

When he actually knows how much his s/o love physical contact he'll try to do it subtly but as much as possible and won't say a thing if they do it to him in public. cue to Holly kissing his cheek every morning

Sometimes most of the time Polnareff gonna tease him and his s/o and it kinda went like this :

"Hey joot! ya mind if I borrow ur sweetheart for a sec? I'm having a severe withdrawal symptoms from being single as heck. Now c'mere lov- AAughHhhGhh????!! GODDAMN IT JOTAR- FUCK! I'M GONNA DIE! JOTARO!!!!"

Everytime he did that, Jotaro gonna summon star platinum to hug him instead and well- all of the crew get to see a fcking 20+ yr old scream in absolute agonize and by the end of the "cuddling" sessions his face covered with snot and tears.

Due from that absolutely horrifying scene oldseph keep his words to himself though there are still times where we can actually see quite the scene.

Kakyoin would be a bit embarrassed, not in a bad way just kinda surprised with what's happening in front of him though when he get used to it, he's silently cheering for both of his friends.

Avdol takes pictures of all the little cute scenes and put it in a collection.

Marriage present he will say with a small smile.

Kakyoin

"...yes... I'm free.. r u sure? 'kay then. here- OMPF"

This guy is def as touch starved as his s/o. Worse, unlike his s/o, man doesn't even notice it.

Kakyoin sees physical contacts as an act of professionalism and rarely initiate one unless necessary.

He does it with his parents ofc but again very rarely and mostly on special occasions.

Think about it a lot actually but never voice it out especially if his s/o barely try to show they wants it.

When they did, oh boy it's one hell of a ride.

He'll get awkward at first but gradually warm up and well- get ready cuz you're prob will be in contact with him all the time no matter how big or small.

hand holding? yes. hand on waist while being side by side? yes. resting heads on each other laps? yes. shoulder touching while sitting? yes.

He'll be and look really dejected if his s/o says no w/o a proper reason.

Though he is an introvert and will understand if you needed some space. Just give him a heads-up kay? poor boy think his s/o losing interest in him.

WILL search up in books or online on "how to hug a person" or "101 absolute ways on how to not be a creep when initiating physical contact"

He's embarrassed with pda mainly cuz he's not used to it but he tried to make it up later in private .

He also will try to actually be comfortable and open, letting himself to relish and return the affection.

Is absolutely overjoyed with the fact that his s/o love physical contacts cuz honestly deep down he really wanted to bond and be comfortable with the person he loves and the area he really lacks in are well- human contact.

He's glad his s/o is there to teach him.

Another one that'll summon his stand to make a- *ehem* two adult cry because they're as joot always say "being a pain in the ass"

Olseph

"c'mere babe! it's cuddly wuggly time."

Bro the best and warmest teddy bear ever been alive.

#1 physical contact lover.

Hug and kiss his s/o all the time.

Small simple contacts like hand holding while walking through the streets traveling.

Hands on ur laps.

No I will not elaborate.

SITTING IN HIS LAPS.

That can go two ways and again no I will not elaborate.

Though he would absolutely loves it if his s/o sit on his laps while both him and his s/o relaxing.

A normal sunny day on a porch. Him reading a newspaper with his s/o on his laps snuggling doing whatever they're doing.

Absolutely hyped when he knows how much his s/o wanted to be in physical contact cuz again that's his forte.

Tickle his s/o while him and his s/o in bed, just woke up from sleep.

And when his s/o return his gestures?

God.

He definitely make a right choice.

It always a contest between who can give more affection and surprise the others. the hell this is too cute Bye-

Flex in front of the crew all the time and no he doesn't get embarrassed. why would he? his s/o is the happiest things ever happened to him. he'll be damned to give two shits.

Polnareff

"Mon Amour~! can I rest on ur lap? pretty pleaseee"

#2 physical contact lovers.

Also hyped cuz his s/o wanted to be pampered and loves to pamper him back? HELL YEAH

He's extreme. that's for sure.

Zero conscience.

Hug? Kiss? Snuggle? Cuddle? Princess style carry? Name it and he'll be doing just that in a heartbeat.

Once him and his s/o in each other arms, it will took a lot of effort for him to actually let go

The type that surprisingly jealous and won't let his s/o do it to anyone else unless under circumstances.

Get tease a lot but never done anything. Bro confident in his abilities and charm as a man.

Avdol

"yes, I'm free. Of course! Here."

CUTIE AJJSJAJAJA

Ok look like I have every right to fangirl cuz bro so sweet with his s/o.

Avdol is reserved so he doesn't show much of a need or want to be in any literal human contact so it gonna make his s/o a bit nervous.

BUT!

He adores it. He thinks it cute and a symbol of deep trust between two ppl especially coming from someone as special as his s/o.

He reciprocate it whether public or private.

Hand holding. cuz it's sexy u can't change my mind

Very open and accepting in general.

Encourage you and also love to be pamper.

Honestly one of the most loving and normal guy in jjba fr and the crew itself fr.

ahhhh idk what to write but this man is an absolute cutie.

Doesn't get jealous since he trust his s/o.

Actually talk to his s/o about coming to him whenever they're in dire need of human contacts.

Doesn't get teased that bad by the crew. They're just genuinely happy to see avdol and his s/o relationship cuz it have calming and very comforting vibe.

Joseph tease him once in a while but nothing severe.

A bit possessive depending on the circumstances.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Inmortal!Reader meeting their lover again

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Hanako ]

[ Toilet Bound Hanako-kun / Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun ]

I was planing for this to be with more characters but it end up being way to long, so i'll probably do the characters in separated fics

I'm not complaining, I loved so much writng this!! I find the prompt reaaaaally beautiful and romantic!!

Hanako-kun

Among the students of the Kamome Gakuen School you have heard about the rumor of Hanako of the bathroom, a supernatural that can make your wish real for a price, and you decided to give a try, maybe that supernatural could help you find your eternal lover. It was a while since last time you saw him and you were starting to grow worried, maybe he grow tired of the endless cicle of reencarnation and find a way to don't come back?

The bound you two share always lead you to were he reencarnate to meet again, it has always been the same, and when the supernatural answered your call on the bathroom you understood why you were in that academy, for some reason your lover, instead of meeting him as a human like you usually do, now was stuck in a supernatural form, so this is why you haven't saw him in ages!

You weren't scare of him, just shocked, what made Hanako confused, you try to talk to him and continue with the act, explaining your eternal relasionship to him right now would be dificult (and weird, you don't know how he'll react if you tell him right away), however Hanako was wary of you since the start, you weren't surprised to see a ghost, besides only people that are somehow close to dead can summon him and you can even touch him! His insticts tell him that this Is bad, that you may be some kind of threaten, and yet he feel somehow at peace and even happy to see you, like if deep down he were waiting for you. It was so strange and a little scary, he decided to follow you with the excuse of helping you fulfill your wish just to watch you close

It was just matter of time for Hanako to let his guard down, the more time he spend with you the more he felt like it was alright, like if at your side was his place, he somehow felt like he already knew you for a long time but he couldn't just grap his head to understand were you two met. He has even asked Tsuchigomori for help, heck, he even tried to read his own book for answers and searched for yours, but yours was a forbidden book, he was so surprised and even scare when he found your book painted in a pitch black, but, somehow, instead of fearing you he feared for you, as if something would happen to you

He tried to hide his doubts, not wanting to frightening Yashiro or Kou for simple speculations, and he would lost all credibility anyways because it had been only matter of time for him to start to fall in love with you. Hanako first started to follows you with the excuse to watch you but soon it start to be because he craved for your company

Involve you with all the supernaturals mess was an accident but soon he just started to feel bad about it, as well the need to protect you grew inside of him, he asked you to help Yashiro to the cleaning in exchange of your wish to keep you in track but soon he just wanted to have you close, he wanted to stay serious about the topics but something on you just make him feel so safe and comforted, like if you had know each other since always and had always been together

Soon it become too much for him, he was confused about it because he wanted to be with you but at the same time felt so anxious about this strange feelings, and it become a little obvious since he was acting quiet strange, as if he didn't know what to do whenever you were around, like a kid wanting to act angry but craving for attention. It is because either you decide to tell him or because he finally won the courage to ask you about it, but soon you finally get to explain it to him

To say that he was shocked it falls short, that was the start but soon all kind of feelings hit him, all at the same time, getting to know that not just you are an inmortal being but that you two had met like an eternity ago, just like now, you fell in love with a mortal and that love was so stronge and pure that he promised to always come back to be able to see you again, to be with you, and he actually came, everytime he died after some time he reincarnated and you two always saw each other again (however, he never really remember the promise or you, so is like a restart). Hanako felt flustered and even flattered at the thought of someone patiently waiting for him until you two can be together again, even if it takes decades, but he also felt bad for doubting you since you were just acting out of love, and even a little guilt because now you are stuck in this school with him

Hanako will need some time to think about it alone, this was a huge revelation and it affect him more because of how he sees himself and the fact that he is a ghost stuck in this school, he is sure that he loves you and wants to be with you, but how would you feel about the fact that the person you had been waiting for is an assasin? or about the fact that you had been waiting for him for so long and now he is stuck in this school? He feel bad about it and insecure, but also he feels selfish because deep down he want for you to don't give up on him and stay with him, at least a little longer

He would probably need some comfort and reasurance from your part, promising that, despite his actual situation, you still love him. At the end he will have a serious talk with you, asking you (a little insecure and scare of your answer) if you would accept him even if he is now a ghost stuck in the school, or even if you would accept him even knowing that he is an assasin, and when you tell him that you still love him that is a huge relief for him, immediatly feeling like if he had lost a huge weight of his shoulders, and he finally let himself enjoy being with you and actually dating

It would take him a while to get used to knowing all of this but once he does Hanako will start asking you about you being a inmortal and if you have any special power too, as well he may or may not be interesed on his past lifes so he will sneak a few asks and cover up his curiosity with jokes and even being a little flirty, however he gets flustered pretty easy whenever you tell him the romantic and cheesy parts of your love story, but he will try to brush it off by teasing you for it

[gong-fourz]

GHOSTLY TUTOR

Pairing: ghost!sungho x gn!reader Summary: you didn't believe in ghosts till he gives you a reason to. WC: 1k Genre: ghost!au, high school!au, fluff Nets: @blossomnet

taglist - m.list

You've never believed in ghosts. To you, they're nothing more than stories told to scare children around campfires or urban legends spread by bored teenagers. So when the whispers about the haunted library at your high school started circulating, you brushed them off as nonsense. You have more important things to worry about, like keeping your grades up and preparing for college.

It's a chilly Friday evening, and you're in the library, your books and notes spread out in front of you. The school is eerily quiet, the usual bustling hallways now deserted. The librarian, has already gone home, leaving you alone to study. You don't mind the silence; in fact, you relish it. It's the perfect environment to focus on your work without any distractions.

As you dive into your chemistry notes, the dim lighting casting long shadows across the room, you suddenly hear a soft whisper. It's so faint that you think you might have imagined it. You pause, listening intently. There it is again, a barely audible murmur, like someone whispering just out of earshot.

Your heart skips a beat. You remind yourself that you don't believe in ghosts. The stories about the library being haunted are just that—stories. Probably a prank by some of your classmates. Determined not to let your imagination get the better of you, you try to return to your studies. But the whispers persist, growing slightly louder, more insistent.

Curiosity and a hint of trepidation take hold. You stand up, glancing around the library. It's vast and filled with towering bookshelves that create a labyrinth of literature. You start to walk slowly through the aisles, the wooden floor creaking under your feet. The whispers seem to be coming from somewhere deeper in the library.

"Hello?" you call out, your voice echoing softly. There's no response, only the continued murmuring. You follow the sound, weaving through the shelves, your pulse quickening with each step.

The whispers lead you to a secluded corner of the library, a section filled with old, dusty books that look like they haven't been touched in years. You can feel the temperature drop as you approach. There's an uncanny stillness in the air, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

"Who's there?" you ask, your voice trembling slightly.

The whispers stop abruptly. For a moment, there's complete silence. Then, a book falls from a shelf with a soft thud. You jump, your heart pounding in your chest. You pick up the book, and as you do, you notice a name etched into the cover: Sungho.

"Sungho?" you whisper to yourself, puzzled.

"Yes," a voice answers softly, almost directly into your ear.

You spin around, but there's no one there. The library is empty, yet the presence is palpable. You feel a chill run down your spine. Gathering your courage, you speak again.

"Sungho? Who are you?"

The air around you seems to shift, and suddenly, a figure begins to materialize in front of you. He's a young man, around your age, with an old-fashioned school uniform and a gentle, almost sad expression on his face. His form is translucent, shimmering slightly in the dim light.

"I'm Sungho," he says, his voice soft but clear. "I used to be a student here, many years ago."

You stare at him, your mind racing. This can't be real, you think, but there he is, standing right in front of you. A ghost.

"What happened to you?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sungho sighs, looking down at his feet. "I died here, in this library. It was an accident, but I've been trapped here ever since."

Your heart aches for him. "Why haven't you moved on?"

"I don't know," he replies, looking up at you with pleading eyes. "I've tried, but something keeps me here. Maybe it's unfinished business, maybe it's something else. I just want to be free."

You can't believe what you're hearing, but the sincerity in his voice compels you to help. "How can I help you?"

Sungho's expression brightens slightly. "There's a book, one that contains the answer to my release. I've been searching for it for years, but I can't touch it. It's hidden somewhere in this library."

You nod, determined. "I'll help you find it."

Together, you search through the shelves, pulling out books and examining them. Sungho guides you, his knowledge of the library's layout proving invaluable. Hours pass, but you're fueled by a strange mixture of fear and compassion. You can't imagine what it must be like to be trapped like this.

Finally, you come across an old, leather-bound book with no title. Sungho's eyes light up when he sees it.

"That's it," he says, his voice filled with hope. "Open it."

You carefully open the book, revealing pages filled with strange symbols and incantations. As you read aloud, a soft glow begins to emanate from the pages. Sungho closes his eyes, a look of peace washing over his face.

"Thank you," he whispers, his form becoming more transparent.

"Will this set you free?" you ask, your heart pounding.

"Yes," he replies. "You've done more for me than I can ever repay. Thank you."

With that, Sungho's form fades, the whispering ceasing as he finally finds peace. The library feels different now, warmer, as if a heavy weight has been lifted.

You stand there for a moment, the book still in your hands, processing everything that just happened. You can hardly believe it, but the sense of fulfillment and calm in the room tells you it was real.

You place the book back on the shelf, a bittersweet smile on your face. You came here to study, but you ended up helping a soul find peace. As you gather your things and leave the library, you feel a newfound appreciation for the stories and rumors that once seemed so silly. Some of them, it turns out, hold more truth than you ever imagined.

From that day on, whenever you hear whispers about the haunted library, you smile to yourself, knowing that Sungho is no longer bound to this world, thanks to your help. And maybe, just maybe, you start to believe in ghosts a little more.

[coinandcandle]

Hello, I'm the anon who asked about reading recs! I did respond back right away, but since you just asked for asks, I get the feeling Tumblr ate my ass 😄. In case it did, here it is again:

I'm trying to get my footing into witchcraft in general. I'd really like to start practicing, especially anything nature related, but I truly know nothing more than what you'd get scrolling through the tumblr tag. So I'm supposed I'm looking for a good starting place to learn my history around the practice (I know "the practice" is an incredibly broad way to describe it. But I don't know enough to be specific. I suppose anything that could give me a foundation to build from?) and something(s) that could help me dip my toes in for the first time. I've been watching everyone else swim in the pool for years, but I've never even touched the waters.

To simply put it, I'm trying to figure out the very beginning steps of witchery. I know I described everything broad and vague, but I don't really know enough to be more specific 😅

(if Tumblr didn't eat my ask and you haven't responded to my ask for any other reasons, no worries! I'm certainly in no rush)

Omg hello! No tumblr didn't eat you but I was waiting on some responses from friends who I asked for reading recs and my draft box DID eat your ask lol. Thank you for following up with my ADHD-addled ass!! <3

The good news is to start you just kinda jump in. I'm not saying throw yourself into the deep in but you can get your feet wet pretty easily.

Unfortunately during my beginner years most of the published books available were heavily soaked in Wiccan ideology which is absolutely not my vibe and not something I think people should start out with since there's a twisted history to it that you have to unwind but I see why people are attracted to it--it's structured in a way that solitary practice isn't.

I found my start online, honestly, then followed my gut to see where it took me next. All that said;

Here are some recs from me and my buddies:

Magic in the Middle Ages by Richard Kieckhefer (History)

Cunning Folk and Familiar Spirits by Emma Wilby (History)

Popular Magic by Owen Davies (History)

Grimoires: A history of magic books by Owen Davies (History)

Curse Tablets and Binding Spells from the Ancient World by John G. Gager (History)

The Crooked Path by Kelden (Traditional Witchcraft)

13 pathways by Daniel Schulke (Occult Herbalism)

A Deed Without a Name by Lee Morgan (Witchcraft)

Of Witchcraft and Whimsy by Rose Orriculum (Witchcraft)

Grovedaughter Witchery by Bree NicGarran (Witchcraft)

Queering Your Craft by Cassandra Snow* (Witchcraft + queer)

Condensed Chaos by Phil Hine* (Chaos magic)

Outside the Charmed Circle by Misha Magdalene* (Witchcraft)

Sacred Gender by Ariana Serpentine (Witchcraft + queer)

Kitchen Table Magic by Melissa Cynova* (Witchcraft)

*Queering Your Craft and Kitchen Table Magic are that they both feel more basic, Condensed Chaos is more of a "102" type book for chaos magic specifically, and Outside the Charmed Circle is strongly Wiccan in influence but brings up some very interesting topics and ideas. (Note from Jasper)

Make sure to keep an open mind and take no one's word as law when it comes to witchcraft and magic. Take in the information and come up with your own conclusions based on your experiences! :>

Thanks to @windvexer , @stagkingswife, @jasper-pagan-witch, and @rose-colored-tarot for help with the recommendations!

Feel free to comment or reblog with your own suggestions!

[kiefbowl]

you know those anti smoking posters and ads that would show the timeline of what happens to you after you quit smoking starting from like 15 minutes and going into months and then years etc etc? like this:

I have no idea how scientific any of that is, that's just all preamble to give context to my other point: I feel like I can physically feel changes in my brain the longer away from the internet I am. Possibly psychosomatic, I'd be willing to concede that. But I feel like as my current job has left me with little to do but browse the internet all day, my social media and internet usage is way up again, and with that comes weird symptoms I've started to associate with it: brain fog, lack of focus, erratic thoughts, headaches, thought loops, low estimation of my capabilities, lack of trust in my own memory, and weird preoccupation with time and death. Granted, I struggle with depression and anxiety, but paired with increased internet usage I seem even more hyper vigilant at observing my internalization and I become extremely disconnected with my external realities, even so far as wondering "is this real?" That's at the most extreme end, usually I think I have over-all a pretty healthy relationship with the internet, especially due to great practice and awareness over the past few years, but can slide into over-usage pretty quickly. I've felt more aware of these "symptoms" as I've practice things like taking hiatuses (which I recommend) of all different lengths.

This moment in time I feel the most aware of the phenomenon of increased internet usage = symptoms impacting my physical life, maybe due to age or my increased awareness. The other day I realized the thought I was having was just an image looping in my mind like a gif. I was like...am I literally not thinking of anything? But the ability to recognize it stopped it and then I spent the rest of the day away from the computer and my phone and realized my mood was better and I was more present by the end of the day when at the beginning of the day I felt like I couldn't keep a straight thought about anything. I've also realized (in this current past few weeks) I've gotten into a habit of opening too many things on the internet...I'll open a youtube video and as it's loading, open tumblr, and as I'm scrolling realizing I've seen most the posts, so then I open a browser game, but that's boring, so I'm checking my email, and that reminds me of a task I haven't done but when I open another tab I can't remember it already so I'm back at the youtube video....trying to do eight things at once but never really fully committed to any of them. It's freaky to realize you've fallen into this habit when you can spend hours of the day acting like a normal person!

But that's the reason I bring up the cigarette posters is that the effects of "quitting" the internet seem almost immediate. I put my phone in the other room and sit with a book and the first few pages feel excruciating, but if I make myself keep going, 15 minutes later I'm reading like a normal person and yet part of my brain is going "why did you think that this was hard it's just reading so weird so weird so weird" and then 30 minutes later that part of my brain is silent and I'm really reading and it's fine. And I also notice when I leave the house, it takes any activity at all to get lost into being alive again rather than hyper vigilantly observing myself. But so many kids (and adults) joke about not wanting to leave the house. I think for normal and otherwise healthy people, you could easily reverse the effects of anti-social behavior your internet usage is convincing you of by simply "touching grass" (lol), but a lot of people are convinced of some intrinsic truth about themselves because they aren't as critical of their internet usage as other people are, so they don't see the connection between their usage and their life choices. You could literally go for a walk and feel normal again.

I don't really have a conclusion except maybe that the brain is very fascinating, and it's very capable of absorbing so much information at once, that to give it care we need to not overload it. But what I've found to work for me is to not "shut if off" but give it something else to do...a book to read, an art project, an errand to complete. These are thoughts I've been collecting in my mind for years but never felt the need to make a long winded post about, until recently when my circumstances change and that was enough to ramp up my internet usage after a lot of work to be more conscientious about it. I really wrote this off the hip, I just wanted to get some thoughts down.

[goforth-ladymidnight]

On ACOTAR Faeries and Names

For some reason, SJM undoes most, if not all, of traditional faerie lore in her books. (I haven't read TOG or CC so I can't comment on those.) The cynical part of me thinks it's because faeries can be difficult to write well, therefore she took the easy route; the more forgiving part of me thinks it's because she set out to explore why humans believed certain myths about faeries, but then lost interest as she spent more and more time in the realm of the Night Court. (Side note: I find it odd that SJM chose to emphasize that the Illyrians are NOT really faeries, whether High or "lesser". I honestly wonder why that is.) Regardless, there's nothing very faerie about SJM's High Fae, etc. except for their ethereal beauty and pointed ears and the fact that they can do magic, I guess.

I've already written about Aging and Lying when it comes to ACOTAR's Faeries, and I thought I'd touch on another aspect of faerie lore that SJM chooses to ignore. (Heh, that rhymes.)

Names.

His [Rhysand's] eyes shifted to my face. “What’s your name, love?” Giving him my name—and my family name—would lead only to more pain and suffering. He might very well find my family and drag them into Prythian to torment, just to amuse himself. But he could steal my name from my mind if I hesitated for too long. Keeping my mind blank and calm, I blurted the first name that came to mind, a village friend of my sisters’ whom I’d never spoken to and whose face I couldn’t recall. “Clare Beddor.” My voice was nothing more than a gasp. ~ACOTAR ch. 26

Clare and her family are killed because Rhys revealed that name to Amarantha, even though he admitted later (in the next book) that he thought she made it up. So, Feyre's fears were not unfounded, but once she is Under the Mountain with everyone else, she is still reluctant to give her name when Amarantha asks for it.

Lucien is even brought forward and refuses to give away Feyre's name. For his defiance, Amarantha orders Rhysand to shatter his mind before Feyre finally gives in and shouts her name for everyone to hear. The Lady of Autumn even repays her sacrifice by helping her with one of Amarantha's "household tasks".

What is the sacrifice, though? It would seem that the only reason Amarantha wants to know her name is because Feyre knows hers, and wants to address her "properly":

“Feyre,” Amarantha said, testing my name, the taste of the two syllables on her tongue. “An old name—from our earlier dialects. Well, Feyre,” she said. I could have wept with relief when she didn’t ask for my family name. “I promised you a riddle.” ~ACOTAR ch. 35

In traditional faerie lore, it is said that names have power, so giving a faerie your name gives them power over you. (It is important to note that they cannot take anything from you. It has to be given.)

There is a scene in Hayao Miyazaki's animated classic in which the young protagonist Chihiro signs a contract to work for the sorceress Yubaba. In a beautifully animated sequence, her signature floats away and into Yubaba's waiting palm. She literally signed away her name. Chihiro is then given a new name in exchange: Sen. By the next day, she has already forgotten her original name and her purpose (freeing her enchanted parents). It is only when another ensorcelled young man gives her the bundle of her old clothes with a card in the pocket (with her name written on it) that she remembers who she was, and why she's there.

I just think it could have been very interesting to give Feyre a similar plotline in ACOTAR. By giving Amarantha her name, she no longer has it, and can no longer remember it. (And since the story is told in first person, it's easier to convey.)

How she gets her name back could be handled in one of two ways: Lucien gives back her name like the true friend he is, or she doesn't remember it until the very end.

If we explore the second option, this is what I'm thinking: Amarantha sought to break Feyre in mind, body, and spirit. The one thing she could never take from Feyre was her love for Tamlin.

“I love you,” I said. “No matter what she says about it, no matter if it’s only with my insignificant human heart. Even when they burn my body, I’ll love you.” My lips trembled, and my vision clouded before several warm tears slipped down my chilled face. I didn’t wipe them away. ~ACOTAR ch. 43

In my Faeries and Lying essay (linked above), I think it would have been more powerful for Amarantha to want Feyre to admit to lying about her love for Tamlin. In the same vein, I think it would be that much more impactful for Feyre to admit that even if she does not know her own name, she knows she loves Tamlin, and that's enough.

It's the one thing Amarantha couldn't take from her. It's the reason Feyre went Under the Mountain in the first place. And most importantly, it's the answer to the riddle. Love. And that's enough.

[angelfirewalker]

I tried to make this post last week on 3rd of May, but it completely disappeared into the ether. On the 2nd of May, I had started to read the book Stardust by Neil Gaiman. I chose Stardust (simply by word association with my wacky mind... Ziggy... well, I had no clue where to start).

Sorry Neil, they are 2nd hand. I like to recycle and reuse to help save trees. I did buy a brand new Good Omens script book, though.

My Aubrey Beardsley bookmark, and the Crowley T shirt I am working on.

I have dyslexia and put up lots of reasons not to read more than is necessary in everyday life. After I had read along to the audio with Good Omens, I felt I should attempt to read more by Mr Gaiman. A long-term friend I have known since 1979 who worked in the music industry back then and signed Bauhaus to 4ad records suggested I read them all. It seemed like a sign.

On the 2nd May, I read one chapter in the morning and a second in the afternoon. It was a joy, I didn't seem to be dealing with dancing sentences and words. I did miss a few paragraphs and had to read a couple of pages more than once. But I was actually really enjoying reading.

This line made me really laugh out loud, if you know you know!

The next day, the 3rd was the Heavenly Birthday of Lindsay Kemp, (he was the mentor to David Bowie and Kate Bush). So before I got ready to read some more, and I was excited about the prospect. I was sorting a post to celebrate his birthday on the The Lindsay Kemp Company page I run. I made the post, then caught up with some admin on the page. I posted a drawing I did last year of Lindsay. Now this page is visited by Kemp fans from all around the world, so most are used to my bad grammar at times. I don't always realise why I have got things wrong due to the dyslexia. I grew up in a time where if you had problems reading, you were thought Thick and Stupid. I was ridiculed, laughed at if I struggled to read out loud in class called Beetroot for going a lovely shade of crimson.

I got a notification, the grammar police had visited the page and corrected me. I had put 'OF' instead of 'HAVE'.... FFS! The grammar police turned out to be a bloody teacher. I can only hope in the future she will think before correcting grammar. I wanted to answer with this, but it wouldn't have been very professional, and I do my best to behave professionally.

It bought up so many hidden feelings that had been repressed since being bullied at school. In fact 3 different school, starting at age 6 though to 16. (I am the same generation as Neil, but he's 27 months older lol). Suddenly, my mood swung so low. I couldn't pick up the book to read that day... in fact, 5 days later, I still haven't ! That keyboard warrior teacher reduced me to my teenage emotions once again. So if any of you out there are correcting people grammar, think twice before doing so. You don't know what the person posting has been through. It might be a big deal for them to actually post. I am shocked how hard it has hit me. The ridiculous thing is I spent years at Art College and had to write a number of Thesis, which I managed quite well, getting a couple of merits. At senior school, I even took the voluntary Shakespeare module and received good grades.

If only it was that simple Master Crowley.

Not everyone has a brain that works the same, mine is creative and not academic. I have found that being dyslexic means you can also be bad a languages... which explains so much... In the Kemp Company most were fluent in 3 to 4 languages.... me I could read a menu...lol, but still everyday I use my Duolingo app... God I am crap! I went back to painting one of my many hand painted Crowley T shirts to lift my mood, but it even took the enjoyment away from that. I haven't touched any of them since the 4th.

The process of Crowley in Hell T shirt, it takes many layers...still a work in progress.... still a long way to go.. they take forever with the drying time between layers.

I couldn't even be arsed to watch Good Omens.... that's how low I felt. But today I feel better, and defiance is high... so I have been painting FFS! & WTF! on a headscarf and T shirt.. lol. Tonight, I will watch Good Omens. Tomorrow I will read chapter 3 of Stardust and get back to my Crowley T shirts.

I read my post, to which Neil wrote this... it all helped again. Then this quote turned up on my Facebook newsfeed... Divine intervention, maybe? Because it is the best quote that could have come my way, (nearly wrote of again.... but hey ho!)

So yet again @neil-gaiman has come to my rescue with my mental health. I think he is actually my new mentor. For decades, it was Lindsay Kemp who gave me the wings to fly and taught me to listen to my heart. I think Neil is helping me with the mind and words.

So thank you once again Mr Gaiman, for coming to my rescue.... and which of your delights do you recommend I should I read next after I finish Stardust?

*Edit.... I read another chapter....wahoo!

[ultfreakme]

and on our agenda is JonJay. How many times have I told myself not to go under comments on Tumblr, but this time misfortune took me by surprise. It was about Bernard, I decided to go into the comments, which was my main mistake. The author of the post wrote that Jay is worse than Bernard, since he can control the minds of other people (I don’t remember this at all, I know about his ability to pass through walls and any solid objects) and how Jon can meet with him. God, there was no explanation, but if this person meant that Jay forced Jon to fall in love with him by penetrating his mind, then I'm leaving this planet. How blind do you have to be when you read a comic book so as not to read that Jon agreed to help Jay himself, since people needed help. And he didn’t fall in love with him right away either, rather after Jay met the superfamily, like, yes. I’m still It's still killing me that people think Jay is the worst option for Jon, although if you ask my opinion, they couldn't find each other better. Jay literally exposed himself for the sake of Jon, what else do they need for them to believe in his sincerity. By the way, they don’t have any thoughts about the setup from Nicky to Damian. Sorry, but it still really annoys me, like ,how so. I'm still wondering why people love Bernad and Nika more than Jay. Maybe you have an answer, I don't know. (I love them too, but this injustice is killing me)

Anon, I get you so much. I answered something like this before but I love ranting and the Jon Kent tag is filled with Jay hate so I'll do it again. The reason why people hate Jay is:

Racism and Orientalism

People think Jon should've ended up with Damian

He's associated with Jon's age-up

Potential covert biphobia

None of the Jay haters have actually read SOKE. The 'mind control' rumors started spreading and becaus basically 70% of tumblr DC fans haven't actually touched more than 3 issues of the comic books and out of context panels in their lives, they don't know that Jay's NEVER 'seduced' Jon. Which is, by the way, a classic offensive stereotype assigned to Asian characters; that Asian characters, especially ones who are into men are all seducers. This is primarily applied to women but now its being applied with Jay.

It's funny because Jon WAS affected to be attracted by an actual telepathic character; Imra, aka Saturn Girl.

And this is where the biphobia comes in because Saturn Girl dated Jon, it was a disaster fire relationship in a book that mischaracterized both of them.It's implied that Imra accidentally used her powers to make Jon be into her, but NO ONE talks about it because it's a seemingly heterosexual relationship. Also she's a white blond girl. It's far easier to target the sparse Asian rep we get.

Nika and Bernard also don't get as much hate because of this reason. People can talk around it all they want, but they are more loved and accepted because they are white. If either of them were POC, they'd be getting the same treatment.

The DamiJon shippers for some reason got it into their heads that Damian x Jon is going to be a thing and now they're mad that they're headcanons aren't real. Like I can't even be kind about this because these assholes have been nothing but racist, clogging up Jon's tag by not tagging anything right, and have also attacked actual content creators to the point they've had to respond to them to tell them to STOP.

Nothing will get these people to like Jay, because they don't actually care about comics, storytelling, the messages these stories bring, the characters, or anything really. They just care that their headcanon vision of Jon's gone and it isn;t easy to project their "sunshine baby" tropes on Jon anymore since now he's actually got adventures of his own outside of Damian. And those adventures happen to be with his boyfriend Jay.

[bella-rose29]

episode 6 commentary - You Never Asked

this has been a looooong time coming oops

warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS for the show and the books, I think that's it??? I've been weirdly good this time

DEPRAC vans make me think of lego every time

god I forgot how much I love this show (I haven't watched it for ages oops)

barnes being a Tired Dad gives me life

'be smart' as he stares lockwood in the eyes bc he knows that boy is Silly

awwww he cares about them really

not lockwood hanging back to look at the death glow 😭 and then looking up at the Door 😭😭😭 that boy has seen too much death give him a hug, a cup of tea, and a break

pretty solid bird if it broke the window like that george

I want lucy's cardigan

I FORGOT ABOUT SKULL AND HIS VOICE SCARED ME

I want lucy's hair as well

why does skull remind me of gollum

oh goodness me the rolled shirtsleeves

George is so happy 😭

lockwood is so pretty in that golden lighting like it's really his lighting

'I'm in charge now' babes I don't think you are

protective boys

eugh not the sawing

'it's still technically mine you know' George 😭

'we've just sent her alone into a severely haunted house' *lockwood immediately stands up*

once again angry that this show got cancelled bc we'll never get to see skull and lucy's friendship grow

good lord that whooshing sound was loud

'don't force it there'll be some kind of trigger' *lockwood starts kicking it*

NOT THE HAND HOLD THAT WAS IMPROVISED

'that's the last time you go and do a job on your own' um sure...

god he sounds so sad and tortured

'you're incredible' yes she is

Flo you icon

'save your kisses for whatsherface' FLO I LOVE YOU

George I love you

'I was about to ask the same thing... locky' the way lockwood goes from 😃 to 😐

'we can trust her' um baby no

he's such a posh boy

exshellent

sad wet cat kipps

me when I've been to 35 Portland Row in real life 🤭

lockwood watching from the window like a sad ailing victorian boy

also I love A55 by English teacher it's such a good song

'ooo Pamela is it now' I love their friendship

POOR BABY LOCKWOOD

god she's so pretty

FITTED SUIT LOCKWOOD I REPEAT FITTED SUIT LOCKWOOD

'live life for the both of you' do we think lockwood thinks that to himself everyday in regards to jessica

'thought you might like it' just tell her you're in love with her

we were robbed of George in a tux with a bow tie

this entire kitchen scene where lockwood's stood in the doorway is like George is on a date and his dad isn't leaving

CAMERON CHAPMAN THE MICROEXPRESSIONS WHEN LUCY LEAVES THE HOUSE

'so it's just us?' 'is that alright' uh yeah she's been giving you heart eyes from the moment you met

ME WHEN I'VE BEEN TO THE BARBICAN IN REAL LIFE

'two of my favourite things, posh people and small talk' she's so me

'fhamily's fhamous legacy'

'I think she saw me' *lockwood waves*

there is no need for them to be stood as close as they are

god he's in love

congrats to jack bandiera for being able to make sad wet cat kipps also be James Bond kipps

'you feel safe with him, mr lockwood' WHILE LUCY IS TOUCHING THE NECKLACE

'if you ever need to talk, I'm a good listener' YEAH BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY PENELOPE

'is that so hard to believe' only the fact that he momentarily forgot that the two of you aren't actually dating and got jealous

god my nerdy ass would have a field day in the black library

peekaboo

the way lockwood is just fixating on the sword is so funny to me for no reason

power couple shit

'this party's dead, wanna ditch it with me?' 'absolutely' good lord I love them

also bisexual lighting is so them

[rainofthetwilight]

Jenna/JJ Walker HCS!

since I've also seen the other jaylings get their HC posts, now it's JJ and soon ethan's time to shine!!

(most of these are connected to or need the lore post to understand; so check it out if you haven't!)

Jenna, at first, seems like a sweet and shy kid (if you didn't intimidate her), but she's a literal demon once she gets a bit used to whoever she's talking to

^ to continue with the above, she has trust issues, so if you already leave a bad first impression on her or if she just seems wary then she'll have a hard time even standing next to you

and for that reason it was hard to bond with Jay before he got his memories back, he's a person she knows but doesn't at the same time, and it heavily hurt her because she just wants him to love her like his daughter again

she still was able to keep a good relationship with Nya, but it was a bit hard to talk sometimes because of how much Jenna's changed and that they haven't seen eachother in years

she had such a big bond with Cole, so it would be an understatement saying she missed him severely

she was also very close to Kai! Lloyd, compared to now, wasn't very close to Jenna pre-merge but would love to sneak her some candy when Jay didn't let her

Zane was also pretty close, he'd only wear obnoxiously oversized hoodies just to carry Jenna in them

Wu loved spending time with Jenna, and would give her some scrolls to read to improve her Ninjargon! Jenna hosted tea parties with him, too, and would give him a pink birthday hat instead because his current hat was 'too boring' in her perspective

her handwriting was also pretty decent, too

she is touch starved but sometimes needs her space or she'll get snappish, hugs are what usually calm her down

her favourite animals are, well, dragons! she had basically been around dragons her entire life, so she was never afraid of them, other than dragons though she really loves cats!

her blue phonecase even has a cat on it, it's a small white kitty in the middle and she decorated the rest of the phonecase with small stickers (that are mostly Jay's old ones she borrowed, like his pins)

suprisingly tho, her favourite colour is neither red nor blue, it's actually lavender! her second favourite being any shade of gold, she digs those kind of colours :D she only wears clothing that mostly consist of red and blue to match with her family, she doesn't hate those colours though because they're also on her favourite chart

when she was almost 14, she hit her growth spurt and became the second tallest sibling (Noah being the tallest), she couldn't stop laughing at the look on Kaida's face when she realized she's becoming the shortest 😔 (even Tessa is taller than her, and Ethan was already starting to be tall for his age)

she's, unsuprisingly, unbelievably stubborn, and tries to convince herself to not give up too quickly

she has whole boxes of markers, coloured pencils, and paint! her obsession for art is too great, she even asked Lloyd if she could help paint the new bounty

when she'd go out, there would be some paparrazi she obviously did not like them that much, but had grown used to ignoring them

she had so many of those children colouring books and had alot of drawings pre-seabound, and most of them were complete, but they all burned down along with the monastery in crystallized :')

she was a bit anxious about going to school, but was still excited and had enjoyed it! alot of kids had wanted to be friends with her and she didn't mind the attention

she's a theatre kid! would act in alot of plays when she was still at school and she goes absolutely all out when she does, now she isn't so open about that fact but would sometimes sing and dance in secret (she got caught by Kaida one time, and she never felt so embarrased)

her room's walls are painted by her, she painted simple things like landscapes with some dragons thrown in there

she's that sibling who's always got your back, she'd get into fights if it meant that she'd protect you that way

but she is not much of a good listener, wanting to hurry up with things, but if you needed to rant to somebody so badly she'd try

for her whole life, she was very protective of Ethan, their dynamic was good but got a bit wonky during the timeskip because of how dull everything seemed, and because of how Jenna would be in her room most of the time

she loves to cuddle him alot tho and is still able to carry him sometimes, she never realizes that he's heavier than he looks lmao

sometimes, Lloyd would come and find them asleep on top of eachother on the living room couch, the movie they were watching still playing on the TV

and she despises how Ethan never knocks on her door, fsm knows how many times he's jumpscared her when he slams the door open 💀

she loves to pull pranks on people (that people is Kaida) with Quinn and Finn, those three are unstoppable 😎

speaking of that, Jenna warmed up to them eachother quicker than she expected, it just took a while because she was still not sure of them, but she liked their energy and they didn't seem like a threat to her

she was just envious of the two because they spent their entire lives with Nya and Jay, which was what slowed down the process

being very protective of Ethan, she hated the fact she had to share him, so she was very wary of everyone (especially Noah, who she noticed loved to spend time with him) and didn't want him so close to anyone

but when she saw the way Noah treated him gently and had genuienly loved him, and how much fun Ethan had when he spent time with him, she grew to love Noah aswell

Jenna loved to climb on his shoulders before her growth spurt, with him being ungodly tall she felt like she was standing on the borg tower

with all of these fights, she never thought she'd get along with Kaida one day, theur fights would even sometimes get a bit too heated, but once they starting warming uo eachother, and talked in conversations that weren't fights, they both quickly became protective of one another

she doesn't know how to use a gun, she never used a gun before, so Kaida had obviously taught her (Tessa and Noah taught her too when they could)

BUT she does know how to use a sword! she would sometimes train with Lloyd during the merge timeskip, so she has some pretty decent fighting skills and is good with a sword for her age

she has a love-hate relationship with sparring, tho

she hates blood, she really hates blood, but having seen it so many times in her lifetime (*cough* including hers *cough*) she got only a bit used to it

she was scared about coming out as aroace, but nobody in her family is straight (obviously) and neither are the walker kids (obviously #2) and was suprised when they were all so chill

Jenna: Guys, I'm aroace.

The rest of the walker siblings: Cool.

Jenna: ...what-

Ethan: What's an aroace?

during her stay with them, Ed and Edna would teach her how to engineer and how to use unimportant spare parts to make something new, and she was suprisingly a quick learner and it had distracted her a little from what had happened

she is not a great cook in the slightest, she'll break the pan she's using the moment she touches it :'D

she is an avid reader of comics (just like her dad) and finds them to be more interesting and funnier than books, she borrowed jay's starferer comics during the timeskip after the merge and read them all, and god she did not shut up for weeks about it (which made lloyd very proud lmao)

she loves to swim!! her love for it had plummeted a bit after seabound however

but before the merge, she had been taught how to swim by nya quite alot and always loved to go to the beach just to jump in the water (she's that kid to do those massive cannon balls lmao)

and she loves to run too! she'd never back down from a race and is extremely quick, unless you're Tessa or Quinn it's hard to catch up to her sometimes

(I hit that block limit 😭)

EDIT: she, obviously, knows some swear words

she has frequent nightmares from her ptsd (cough crystallized cough near death experience cough fuck I'm spoiling again-) and gets extremely anxious, the pain seems like its still there, and she cannot stay alone by herself for too long or she'll spiral

EDIT: she also has slight pyrophobia from crystallized (try to guess why)

^ during the merge timeskip, when they started happening more frequently, she'd instantly go to Lloyd, but now she almost always goes straight to Tessa during those times. when she's at her lowest point especially, Tessa's the only sister who listens to her and lets her cry it all out which is why she's one of her closest siblings

in fact, Tessa's the first sibling she grew close to!

Nya does know about these problems too, and when Tessa for any reason isn't able to help Jenna heads straight to her

sometimes, when her anxiety gets the best of her too, she talks walks across the monastery courtyard and climbs up and down the stairs a few times, it always calms her down

Tessa mostly uses her a benchpress along with their sisters, so no one is suprised when they see Tessa benchpressing Jenna who's currently on her phone

she's usually comfortable around Finn and Quinn, and begged Quinn to teach her how to fly once she got her powers too

when she and Kaida got along, those hellspawns LOVED to gossip, and would constantly laugh about an inside joke between them while everyone is so confused (me and that one friend meme be like)

like how the brothers have movie nights, the sisters all have movie nights too!!

before Kaida warmed up to them, she'd constantly fight with Jenna during the film and Tessa would try her darndest to shut them up, while Quinn is just focused on the TV while eating popcorn 😎

and if it isn't obvious enough already, other than Ethan of course her favourite sibling is Tessa, but Kaida quickly followed suit

when she'd be bored, she'd grab Finn and Quinn to paint the walls of their room together

whenever she hears Noah talking about Sasha, she goes "nope" and leaves the room instantly

Jenna borrowed Lloyd's old headphones, which she also decorated with her stickers, she only lets Tessa use it

it's easy to tell that something belongs to Jenna, she always has her nickname 'JJ' on her stuff everywhere

EDIT: Jenna also gets an aviator jacket from Tessa! all the sisters have it :DD

in the future, she eventually gets more chill and Ethan will become the energetic one

-

ohh my god that was LONGGG..

bb boy ethan's next!! I'm going to sinai tomorrow though and staying until saturday, so yeah expect him to be a little later on!

[ca-suffit]

what disappoints me so much at this point is that in the beginning the show changing the race for three prominent roles immediately added so much more to the story. i dislike 90% of what and how anne rice has written, but that doesn't take away from the fact that there are some good concepts and interesting characters and relationships in her books. i really thought the show planned to use all that and then take it up a notch with deeper writing, addressing the abuse and rape more directly, as well as including racial dynamics in a well written way and not just being racist like rice's writing was. and up to the finale i would not have had any doubts about the future of the show, but now? it's just a shame that it feels like the show(runner) is patting itself on the back for casting non-white actors and are now calling it a day. no reason to engage with the topic of racial abuse any further. at least that's what it feels like. there is much more in future books that could have been adapted in an incredibly interesting way, things that don't soley revolve around romance either (since you are a book reader, for me, that could have been a bigger focus on bianca and armand's relationship, considering they aged up armand it would make their relationship both as humans and vampires and then both experienceing the same abuse by their maker) but now i don't want them to touch any of that, because they'd probably just ruin it

I always want to give room for ppl to feel what they feel in the moment to all of this, and if ppl want to quit rn that's fine and understandable tbh. but we also don't yet have v much at all to go on regarding how upcoming seasons will look. I'm gonna wait to see what S3 actually looks like, for myself. there's still *so* much fucked up shit they haven't touched. like u mentioned, *marius* is still coming, and we've already had glimpses of armand's perspective on that. that's been a good thing in the direction of still talking about abuse and power dynamics. with claudia coming back, I don't think lestat's just off the hook for his shit either. I know it feels like shit and I'm not trying to tell anyone to stuff those feelings down and get over it. there's a *lot* of reasons to be hesitant to trust anything and that's real. but there are little pieces here and there that are maybe some positives too. idk, we'll have to see. I don't want them to fuck this up either.