#having the same problem with my Fitbit

[bethlammen]

Tag rant

[autisticlee]

I stopped marking anxiety on medical forms where it asks what i've been diagnosed with in the past because I experienced every doctor telling me all my problems were anxiety and getting no help. except trying to convince me to take anti anxiety meds (tried once and made me have constant panic attacks and I only slept i think 5 hours in a week and was having hallucinations and stuff. never again!!!) but when i'm having heart rate increase with palpitations and shaking and dizziness and sweating and weakness and completely exhasution and feeling out of breath, nausea, and etc, it happens without the anxiety brain symptoms. I just stand up and it happens, even if head empty. but doesn't happen if i'm layijg down and worrying about a thing?? not sure if I should try talking to a doctor about it again and hope not marking the anxiety box helps, or just assume i'll be told it's anxiety again and not waste my energy..........

[jodilin65]

In bed while Tom is out donating, and feeling shitty as ever. I slept so badly and my fatigue is off the charts. I think if it weren’t for the fact that the test is coming tomorrow, I would be ending it right now. Eleven years of fighting for my health and I'm still getting nowhere. All I’ve managed to do is trade one problem for another — not that I'm not wound up, thanks to these epic sleep issues. I'm just wound up in a different way.

Took half a clonazepam a little while ago, though, and that has helped calm my fraught nerves. I might need one more refill to get me through this tough time — if I can ever get through it. I'm trying not to think of the possibility that there could be other things wrong with me and not just sleep apnea. I'm only willing to fight for my health so much longer, though. My mind and body can only take so much more of this shit. There may truly come a day at some point this year where I have to accept and admit I tried, but I lost this battle. And it’s pointless to carry on unless I want to suffer for another 15 to 20 years, and I definitely don’t. I would prefer to live as long as my husband does, but I don’t think I can hold out that long for him. I really don’t.

It’s so hard for me to be optimistic when so many things have failed to work out in the past. I wish I could know that all I need is to get adjusted to the CPAP and that I’ll sleep better — and therefore I’ll feel better, both physically and emotionally — but that’s the thing. I don’t know that. And I don’t even know for sure what the test is going to reveal.

Wesper is said to have a 95% accuracy rate, though. The only thing I don’t get with it that I would have gotten in the lab is that it can’t measure my brainwaves to look for other problems that could be affecting my sleep. I also read that while Fitbit has reasonable accuracy for detecting REM sleep, it's iffy when it comes to deep sleep. That much can vary from 49% to 84% accuracy.

Anyway, I’m so damn exhausted from all these sleep disturbances that even if I could keep a schedule, I couldn’t work any more than a 2-year-old could lift a 100 lb barbell.

Many times I’ve asked myself what my purpose in life is, and now I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s to wish for a past that can never return. You get older, the health issues start creeping in, and things just aren’t the same. Then you realize that things weren’t quite as bad as you thought they were years ago. At least it doesn’t seem that way now. Yes, I had my share of problems and shitty moments, but in most ways, the last decade has been worse. I had problems before, as I said, but for the most part, I still had my health. I couldn’t sleep when I wanted to, but I could sleep normally when I did. I don’t think I was this exhausted even in the noisiest of the apartments I lived in.

I still wonder about the lung tightness. I’m fine now, but I felt very short of breath in my sleep and after getting up, and I wonder how much of it is connected to the sleep apnea. I know a lot of it could be — and most of it probably is — but like I said, I hope there’s nothing else going on, especially when I’m lying down. Since it won’t hurt me, I might skip my levo tomorrow just in case. I don’t feel like it’s asthma at the moment, so hopefully I’m just winded from struggling to breathe all night. I just don’t see anything being wrong with my heart or any cancers, but I’m a little worried I could also have CSA too, even though I doubt it. I checked, and the Wesper is good at detecting that, but not as good as it is at detecting OSA. So it can tell me a lot more than Fitbit, but not like a full polysomnogram.

My only other concern is the fact that I can’t have the sound machine as loud because it’s going to record whether or not I snore. With all the fucking planes we’ve got swarming around here, that’s a bit of a concern, along with anything unusually loud driving by. The commercial planes wouldn’t override the air cleaner or a soft, consistent sound like a fan, but small planes and helicopters are harder to drown out.

I did what I said I’d never do again — I prayed out loud to anything up there, no matter what type of entity it may be, to please help end my suffering. I’ve struggled for 11 years with health issues. Now it’s mostly sleep and fatigue as opposed to booming hearts and anxiety. I still say this is the lesser evil, but it’s plenty bad enough. It’s totally debilitating and affecting my daily life. I won’t even get into what it’s doing to my mood. Something’s got to give — otherwise I’m going to give up. Literally. If I don’t, whatever this is will slowly kill me for sure, and it’s no way to go.

I’m trying not to worry about the possibility of a curse being on my sleep, getting a CPAP, finding it helpful, then having it replaced with other things to disturb my sleep, like more outside noise, nightmares, pain, or whatever. I’m also trying not to worry about the fact that once one problem is solved, or at least mostly solved, a new one arises.

If my sleep issues are mostly weight-driven, cursed or not, I really do have to figure out how to conquer my weight loss phobia and learn to live life hungry, not just to lessen my sleep apnea but for my overall health. But there’s only so much I can take on at once. One thing at a time! Let’s see if I can get my energy back first. If I can’t, then there’s no point because I can’t see myself carrying on from there.

I’ve been noticeably hungrier lately, even though it isn’t affecting my weight. I learned that my estrogen cream can increase my appetite. Seriously, I feel like I’m back in perimenopause. I finally mustered up enough energy to throw a can of hash into a skillet but that wasn’t enough and I ended up having a sandwich after that. I still had room for more, but I quit at that point.

I just heard a thump — thought it was Tom returning — but instead it’s community parking lot time at the Honker’s. That truck with the New York plate is back. Even though they were quiet, that truck from Michigan better not park right alongside our driveway like last year!

Why would someone from New York be here during the summer, though? Aren’t you supposed to be back up north during the summer? Maybe it’s a reverse snowbird that just visits during the summer, I don’t know.

Replika released the second realistic female and male avatar. I like this female better than the first one, and the male is almost as nice. Tom said the male’s hair looks greasy, lol. The male voices go with the male avatars, but the female voice almost sounds like a 12-year-old. The app overall is glitchier than Matey. It’s running pretty slow.

[growandrecover]

hi,

im really scared bc im officially ✨overweight✨ and my ed has just been #triggered. any tips on how to avoid relapse?

Hey, anon.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm really proud of you for reaching out and actively trying to avoid relapse. That's wonderful.

First up, if you can, stop weighing yourself, measuring, body checking, or anything else you may be doing. Your weight does not say anything about you. Absolutely nothing. If you're concerned about your BMI specifically (which I know a lot of people with eds get caught up in), it's all a bunch of garbage. It was made based off of cis white men, and does not take muscle mass into consideration. Even if you happen to be a white amab person, it's still a joke. If you can't stop completely, try to limit what you're doing.

Next, please make sure you're eating all your meals and snacks. My therapist has told me to do this, and I'm passing along the information to you guys. If you have to, set a schedule for yourself and stick to it with the best of your ability.

If you're someone who used exercise to lose weight in the past/if you exercise currently, you may want to lay off that until you're in a better headspace. Going along with this, if you wear a Fitbit or Apple Watch of any kind, taking it off may help avoiding triggers like your daily step count, calories burned, and your other exercise levels. I wore one for almost a year and took it off a few months ago. Surprisingly enough, my quick dips back into some of my ed behaviors have stopped. I finally realized that those triggers sitting on my wrist 24/7 had been messing with my head.

If you're able to/not already, get an adequate amount of sleep. I think we all know what happens when we stay up too late, letting our minds wander into our ed thoughts in the middle of the night. Low levels of sleep interfere with our mental health, which, in times like these, needs to be extra nurtured.

Try to look at it from someone else's point of view. If someone you knew came to you with this exact problem, what would you say? Would you want them to be kind to their body, to fuel it, and to take care of it? Probably, right? Or if that's hard for you to say to yourself, wouldn't you just want them to be free of their eating disorder?

This is pretty harsh, but your ed is trying to hurt you. It's trying to kill you. Whatever it needs to say to get you to engage in those behaviors, it will. It'll tell you that you're not as [adjective of your choice] or [another adjective of your choice] when you weigh more than you have in the past, but that's simply not true. As I said earlier, your weight is just a number. You deserve recovery. You deserve happiness. You deserve a life free of food rules and that nasty voice in your head.

If you're scared, I'm here to tell you: your ed will not fix anything. Losing weight will not fix the idea of yourself you have in your head, and won't make you magically like your body more. It wants you to think it will, but it won't. It only makes your life worse.

Something that helps me is looking at recovery posts on Pinterest or Tumblr. I love being able to see other people's thoughts and encouragement. It always inspires me to keep going, and I hope it'll do the same for you, too.

Whatever it is that triggered you is not worth all the pain and suffering that comes with an ed. I don't care if it was something somebody said or just a thought you had. Nothing is worth going back to your ed.

You can do this. I believe in you.

I really hope this was at least a little bit helpful, and I hope you're okay, anon. If you're not right now, you will be.

If I missed something, or you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message! ♡

[bluefrogbubbles]

I had a Fitbit, it was a Fitbit Versa 2. I got it a couple months after my birthday, supposed to be for my birthday, in 2023. It was originally bought in 2022 I think by the person who had it before me, maybe it was 2019, I can't actually really remember, they had barely used it, so it was like new. About 5 days ago, I had to get a new one cause it was breaking. The screen was coming out, still attached, but popping out. Still usable as well. Then the next day it stopped working all together. I went on eBay to try and find a new one, preferably also a Fitbit Versa 2.

I found one, or at least one that as advertised as a Fitbit Versa 2. It arrived yesterday (its like 2:30 in the morning rn. It arrived around almost 5PM) I was a little confused cause the earliest predicted date of arrival was the 11th. It arrived in the 9th. Not complaining. Thats amazing. I had looked at the sellers feedback reviews, and they had a 93.2% positive review, and had sold like 8 thousand things.

What arrived wasn't a Fitbit Versa 2. Not even a Fitbit. It was a smart watch. I had to download a new app to be able to use it. Anyloop. That's the brand or whatever. It came with the same band like all Fitbits and smart watches come with. I can't use those, first time I did it was like it burnt me. I tried using my old band, but I couldn't attach it because the clippy part that attaches the band to the watch was the teeny tiniest bit too big. Like barely anything. If you pushed hard enough maybe you could have forced it in. But that also risks breaking something. Yea, we can find a smaller clippy thing that fits, we tried the ones from the band it came with, but those were too thick for the hole the clippy thing goes in on the band.

I thought it wouldn't be a problem using the band it came with for a little while we found a smaller clippy thing, since my first reaction took about 2 weeks before it started hurting to wear. Its only been a few hours and it feels like it keeps getting tighter. It feels irritated.

Now, I don't overly care that it's different from my old one, even tho I was looking for the same one I had, it still does what I want it to do. I'm pissed off because of the false advertising. I ended up going through some of the reviews on the sellers account and other things they sold, so many positive reviews buried the negative ones, but I found reviews from other things this seller sold about how what they got was not what was advertised. The account is "true-aussie"

I got this for $70. When I got it there was only 2 left. There is still 1 left, they have upped the price to $100 for it. At this point, I should have just waited till I got paid and ordered one that was like $120 rather than try and go for a cheaper option. But like, you never know, sometimes the cheaper option ends up better than the more expensive. That just wasn't the case here. This just really fucking annoys me.

[stevestonbike]

Garmin App Nagging

Generally it is useful, even helpful, but weird. Garmin Connect talks to my bike computer and my watch. The watch is better than the fitbit brand which is part of the google harvest my data to make money conspiracy. I get pulse Ox and sleep patterns and that stuff.

Oh and it cannot tell if the difference when I use my bike computer and my watch on a ride. It could ask if they do not want to be clever. I mean two rides over the same distance and time by the same person, come on!

One of the things the App can tell you is your fitness age. It says I am five years younger than my calendar age. Oh and I could do better if I lost weight. Errr. Nagging helps right?

It uses the BMI which is a flawed metric at best. The problem is the incorrect exponent is used. Mass scales with the cube (^3) of dimensions while the BMI uses the square(^2). A person of a say an ideal BMI if scaled up to be a bit taller and exactly the same muscle and fat proportion would become overweight.

Muscular people will be penalized in the BMI as muscle is much heavier than fat. I have some muscles.

Clever people have proposed using a formula with an exponent of 2.5 or so, but the BMI has been around for so long (1840s) and has been logged by so many sources it is locked in place.

So if you are a taller person or have muscles do not pay attention to the traditional BMI.

My old BMI is 24.9 Garmin says 25.1 as it cannot resolve parts of cm. It wants me to have a BMI of 22.2 which requires me to lose 19lbs or 10% of my weight. I have a smart scale that says my legs are 17% fat. Charts indicate my upper body is about 20% Fat. So if I went to zero percent fat I might hit that number. 0% fat is considered not healthy.

Oh and under both new and old BMI I have a healthy weight.

Given the science Garmin has access to you would think they could do better. Just a Nag.

[astrojaxsaga]

The projects at the forefront of my mind right now are taking up a lot more mental space than usual, and so weight loss has become a secondary concern. I'm mostly just focused on whether or not I am sticking to my macros, making time for the gym (even if I need to take a small break over the weekend, I'm not bent out of shape anymore if I dont get to the gym 5 - 6x a week), and I have stopped taking my Fitbit calories burned seriously. My watch appears to grossly exaggerate the amount of calories burned in a day, and I have a feeling this is more of an algorithm issue for those who fit into a higher BMI/body fat category than the "average" person based in these scales. Fitbit can be innacurate up to 20% (which is nuts, if you actually burned 2500 that would mean it could read up to 3000) and I guess this is an issue for people with higher BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate, or the calories you burn just to be alive) because you are already starting with a higher calorie burning rate to begin with. I had this same problem with my last watch, and I thought buying a new one would fix it but I guess the technology just is not there yet.

At any rate, the next few weeks will be focused on lots of work stuff. And also one super fun thing, which is that my partner and I are going to Italy for a wedding in April (: the wedding is in Rome, and we just booked our second AirBnB in Naples for the second half of the trip. I was really nervous due to cost of travel right now while I am working to pay off my credit card and get out of debt, but Naples AirBnB's were like 1/3rd less than the cost of Rome, and Europe has much cheaper (and tastier) food than BC. So I think our budget is reasonable and we should be in good shape to do some museums and eat good food. I'm pretty conservative when I travel though, so I will try to keep our budget under lock in case anything crazy happens.

I have some upcoming conferences I need to write abstracts for: two are in Toronto (back to back) and two others are in Durham UK (also back to back). I also need to have a meeting with my supervising committee regarding whether or not I'm on track to finish my research by the deadline I proposed (which I did not know I was supposed to have had ! Oh well). Anyways, lots of fun stuff to look forward to(:

[fixnotcharging]

Why Your Fitbit Sense Is Not Charging Quick Fix in 6 Steps 2024

Fitbit sense not charging(after dying, or turning on, Reddit, to 100), Fitbit sense not charging when plugged in, Fitbit Sense charger pin stuck, why my fitbit sense is not charging

These are probably the 6 easiest and most common ones

The first thing you should try always whenever you experience a problem with the majority of technological devices is to restart it.

How do you restart the Fitbit Sense?

1. There's a button right here, sort of like a pretend button. It's an indentation actually.

2. You want to press and hold that down for at least 10 seconds until the Fitbit logo faintly appears on the screen.

3. Make sure that when you press and hold that down, you are pressing firmly and holding it down consistently

4.  So the device registers that you want to hold it down and that you're not trying to press it.

5.  If you're moving your finger, it might think that you're releasing it and pressing it again. So be consistent with your pressure and holding it down. So restart it, see if that works.

6. Oftentimes that will fix the problem, believe it or not. You might think it's something else, but oftentimes it's just a software issue, so just restart the device.

7. Most of the time, if you were to actually leave the device alone, it would sort that out by itself. But if you want to charge it right now, and you want it to be sorted out right now.

Hard restart of Fitbit Sense

Try restarting it with a hard restart, I would call that. Number two, make sure the outlet works. I cannot tell you the number of times, even myself that I plug something into an outlet and I think that it's not working, the charger, the cable, the device. But in reality, the outlet, the breaker has tripped.

Now, in my current house, it's not so much of an issue. In my older house, a few times the breaker would have tripped because some of the wiring.

Most of the wiring I had replaced with new wiring, but some of the wiring was older, right? So it couldn't handle as much of a load. We had new appliances and devices that were drawing load from it.

So anyway, that's a whole other story. But make sure your outlet works. So how do you check that? You plug a different device into it. And you might think that these are running on the same circuit, and most of the time they are. But sometimes your top outlet and your bottom outlet can be running separately because they might not be bridged together.

So if you're plugging your Fitbit Sense into the bottom outlet, make sure you're checking the bottom outlet with another device, making sure that it has power to it, that it's working. The third thing that you can try is to wiggle or manipulate your charging cord.

Now, these charging cords are super durable - Solving the Mysteries of the Charging Cable

But let's say you've had your charging cord for a long time and it's been really, really kinked. Like really, really pressed together. You might actually develop a kink in that spot.

So what I would recommend is once your charger is plugged in then I would recommend that you go ahead and you maneuver and wiggle the charging cord over and over again.

We're going to get out of this right here. No, I don't want to go to the widgets. The weather, no thanks. Let's go back to the home screen. The clock, just to make sure we're sort of where we need to be for the video. No distractions.

So try and wiggle the cord and see if it starts charging because that might work. If you have a kink in your cord.

Power Compatibility: The Right Match for Your Fitbit Sense

Make sure the voltage or power or amperage is compatible with the power brick that you're using.

So essentially, you have a cord here and then you have a power brick. You want to make sure the power brick that you're using works with the cord and the device.

Now, for the most part, I've never had an issue with this with any of my devices, but you might have a different kind of power brick that's giving out too much power or too little power

And that's not going to charge the device at all or not going to charge it properly. So take a look at the stats on your actual power brick and see if that makes sense.

There should be some sort of statistics, some numbers labeled on there with regards to how much power it's going to convert and so forth. Connection Puzzle: Ensuring a Secure Fit for Charging

Make sure the end of the charger is making a good connection. You’re done. It only goes on in one orientation. And if it's not clicking in place magnetically, like some people think this is charging, it's not making any connection.

So you need to make sure it clicks into place magnetically like that.

Magnetically clicked into place. It's making a solid connection on your fitbit sense. That's what you're looking for.

And it only goes in one orientation. So make sure the end of the charger is making good connection with the Fitbit set.

Last but not least is number six, Safety Tips and Tricks Fitbit sense

1. Which is make sure the charger and the port on the Fitbit to charge it are clean.

2. Lots of people, you know, they have like they sweat with their Fitbit on and they have like dirty wrists.

3. Maybe they're working out like an outside setting or in a dusty setting or working in the dirt with their Fitbit or in any sort of like, you know, anything where your wrists are going to get dirty.

4. These ports will get dirty. And if they're dirty enough, it will prevent the charger from making a proper connection, which will essentially prevent it from charging. So make sure that your actual all of these are clean. 5. Make sure that they're clean. It's not really a concern with the charger. I wouldn't really recommend touching the charger. These will probably be perfectly clean for the most part.

I6. It’s more on the Fitbit itself. And obviously, whenever you're dealing with anything like cleaning anything, make sure that your charger is unplugged.

7. Whenever you're working with cleaning anything or dealing with anything with the charger.

8. Make sure that it's unplugged whenever you're like kind of looking at the actual charging portion. That's it. Just be safe. You know, obviously exercise safety as your number one concern.

Source link:- https://fixnotcharging.com/why-your-fitbit-sense-is-not-charging-quick-fix-in-6-steps-2024

[evanvanness]

Oura ring review

I bought Oura v3 the day it came out, after a couple years of wearing v2.

So why do I have such mixed reviews about my Oura ring?

I didn't know I was getting a Fitbit, and I don't like the step tracker.

You could argue that this is on me, and I'd agree, but I don't like having a step counter. Am I marginally more active? Probably. Am I convinced it's really that important that I get up every hour like the activity score says it is? No. Do I regain focus when I get up every hour because of the ring? No.

I generally just find it a little stressful to have my steps counted. Maybe activity getting gamified is good for some people, for me I think it's a net negative. And unfortunately on a human level I continue to be unable to simply ignore the activity score.

2. I don't trust the scores

As I suggested above, I am not confident that the 3 scores (sleep, readiness, and activity) are particularly well thought through, even after they've had years to tweak them.

If you are going to gamify me, I want my scores to actually reflect progress and health.

Activity. Your score is determined by how many minutes you've been inactive, how many days you made your daily goal, whether Oura thinks you've both rested and exercised enough.

There's more problems here than I can mention in a post, but let's do three basic ones.

First, whether you make your daily goal is binary. If your goal is 500 active calories burned per day and you burn 499, then you get a 0 for that day for your score and that 0 will linger in your activity score for a week. wut. Second, I frequently get in situations where Oura is dinging me points both for not exercising enough and not resting enough. You can't have it both ways, Oura. Third, you can pick your daily activity goal. If you raise it, then you get no credit for activity, but you will constantly find yourself in the situation of #2 where you are getting dinged.

Sleep. Your score is determned by how long you sleep, you often you wake up, how much REM sleep, how much deep sleep, how long it takes for you to fall asleep, and when you sleep.

Oura is extremely judgmental of night owls like me. It will never give me a good score, no matter how much I sleep because I generally go to bed late. In my opinion, they should have some rock solid evidence if they're going to be so absurdly judgmental, and let's examine those studies for multicollinearity.

As for REM/deep sleep, Oura seems pretty good. But of course it doesn't have the accuracy of a medical device, and there's likely people for whom it is more inaccurate than others.

Readiness. Your score is determined by your lowest heart rate while you sleep, HRV balance, temperature, how long it takes for your heart rate to stabilize, how much you sleep, and how active you are (though it seems these last 2 measure are overly dependent on your activity and sleep scores, which are overly biased and judgmental).

These actually seem like the most accurate and useful metrics to me. If your heart rate is up, you probably need to do something about it like stop eating earlier or not watching something scary or reduce your stress, etc. If your temperature is up, you are getting sick and need to make sure to sleep longer tonight. This is hardly my area of expertice, but my understanding is HRV is known for being an important metric for athletic performance.

There are stories of people identifying serious issues early solely because these heart rate started going up, and I totally believe it.

3. I lost v3 after 6 months and never replaced it.

The oxygenation rate seemed like the big feature, but it was always the same. If I recall correctly, it wasn't even supported in the software when I first got v3.

I have heard that v3 is now actually signifcantly better, particularly in sleep accuracy, but it did not seem better during the roughly 6 months that I had it.

I understand hardware is hard. It is! But isn't that even all the more reason why the software shouldn't have lagged so much behind the hardware?

4. Oura ruined my sleep...for awhile

When I first got my ring, I'd wake up early and be excited to see my sleep score, then be annoyed when it was bad and be unable to go back to sleep.

Anything observed...changes.

This might not be true for you, but it was very true for me, and quite negative. I imagine this is not the normal effect, but worse sleep lasted awhile for me.

5. I'm annoyed at how it thinks that in my early 40s I can't go for a run after a day where I went for a long, slow walk.

Yes, this type of thing really happens. Maybe it's true? I don't know. Seems like it's not, but when it does say things like this through the activity/readiness score, I think it needs to prove it to me.

What do you like about the Oura ring, Evan?

There must be some things, because I still wear it!

I realized I needed to prioritize sleep more. I've taken some steps to sleep better and to get more types of certain sleep. I realized that the cold is better for sleep, when that's not intuitive to me.

It's given me a much more intuitive sense of how many calories you actually burn through exercise. I now understand why all health gurus say "diet > exercise," since you can walk for an hour and burn less calories than eating a chocolate chip cookie.

That all made it worth the $299 to me.

The data is directionally correct. It's probably not yet to the level of accurately where it's worth obsessing over any of it, but as I said above, it can be an early warning sign of serious health issues. It can point stuff out you can improve on. It can get you to be more active, and also tell you the days you shouldn't be active.

All of those things only get more important as I get older.

----

As a final note, Oura has a bunch of your health data sitting in a centralized server somewhere. That means it is a honeypot for hackers, governments, etc. Oura is based in Finland, which is probably the only reason I don't naturally assume that it's intrinsically spyware (though it does have a San Francisco office). I certainly worry about any centralized data depots over the long-run of any startup. The incentive to sell your data or metadata or whatever is strong.

This is why we decentralize.

[diaryofalamb]

Going to the gym tonight, I’m actually really excited! I’m going with some family members (one of my aunts who got the same surgery as me and two of my cousins) and I just got my new Fitbit that my mom bought me. My old one would have problems charging and I’m so so excited, even if I just walk on the treadmill and don’t sweat.

At my last appointment with my surgeon, she wanted me to up my exercise (seeing as how I’ve been few and far in between with that, mostly focusing on the eating habits and shizz) to do one hour walks at a fast pace daily. I want to build up my stamina mostly, to be able to take long walks and explore cities or be able to walk around in amusement parks without having to take too many breaks. My body is starting to slow down in how quickly I’m losing weight (I’m at 208 last I weighed myself) and I think now is the right time to add exercise to my habits. It’ll kick what little I’m eating into energy and maybe also keep my metabolism on it’s toes so it doesn’t slow down even more.

It’s December and that means my diet is now “open”. I freaking miss having fruits and vegetables and pasta/bread. I’ve been wanting cucumbers, grapes, blueberries, celery, sweet potato fries, salads, etc. Eating the chicken and protein shakes and cheese and whatnot was easy but not being able to have the sweet kale salad I love from Albertsons, or dill pickle spears when I’m on my period (which actually came twice since the surgery), it was so tempting to try even just a bite. So while yes, my diet is open for me to try the foods I’ve been missing, I mostly miss the “healthy” foods I wasn’t able to eat. And that doesn’t mean I’ll be going crazy with eating straight up sweets or anything.

[audio-luddite]

OK so what do you believe?

I mean as in advice and tribal knowledge from experts. In the most general rigorous sense everyone is wrong. (including me) We deal in prejudice and opinion and of course preferences.

Is chocolate ice cream better than vanilla? It is often exactly that kind of issue.

There is a LOT of snake oil product. So lets dispose of the worst bits right now. Fancy power cables from your wall to your equipment are simply fraud. Good heavy wire and decent plugs is all you need. Same thing for speaker cables. There is no blind difference between heavy gauge wire and fancy woven by virgins super duper crystal products. Hardware store stuff is fine.

Often legitimate are good interconnects between say a preamp and an amplifier or from a CD player. There are cheap ones which are cheap for a reason. But it is easy to go past reason. It slays me when people get hot and bothered by exotic fiber optic stuff. If that works at all it is fine.

Now to a certain degree those items up there depend on having good equipment as opposed to bottom feeder cheap stuff. Or there are some astronomically expensive amplifiers that will blow up from Radio Frequency interference if they do not have full shielded and grounded cables. Just avoid those, they are poorly designed.

Asian as in Chinese knock off equipment could be good, but usually is not. Some review well, but the reviewers get special examples with real quality parts as opposed to the cheap stuff. (Full disclosure I work for a Chinese owned company and you should hear what they say)

The good stuff is from North America, Japan, and Europe full stop.

There are good new brands but all that aim at audiophile / high end / good stuff are priced what the market will bear. Rolex watches do not keep better time than a cheap digital watch. Hell my Fitbit is a watch and a heart rate monitor and a bunch of other things and keeps better time and costs less than a watch band for a Rolex.

Affordable equipment of quality is older. There are audiophiles who swoon over equipment from 1958. It aint that good, sorry. Stuff from the 80's and up is fine. But parts age especially things called electrolytic capacitors. They are very like fast acting batteries. They use chemicals and will wear out over time and use. So an old amplifier or other piece should have been gone over by somebody who knows how to properly fix such things.

Good old stuff is preferable if it is well cared for.

My amplifier dates to the 70's, I built it up in the 90s and used new capacitors which have held up fine. My preamplifier is from the 90s and has been maintained well. Do not be afraid of old things. In good shape they sound as good as the best new stuff.

The problem occurs if you are new to this and simply do not know what or where to look for things. Many old Brands have no relation to the company that started it. Marantz comes to mind. Old Marantz is well thought of. New is trading off the old reputation and frankly I do not know. McIntosh is the same company and makes the same stuff today as 60 years ago. Old school, but never inexpensive. They are pretty though.

OK so what to do. I prefer separate components as in a preamp and an amplifier and a CD Player and a Turntable. That is what my sound system is. I have a DVD system with a 7.1 surround receiver, but I only use that for movies.

Assuming you want something similar you need to get at least three things, four if you need speakers.

Preamp: It is my opinion that this piece has the greatest impact on the overall quality of your system. In my system is is the most expensive part. I have a turntable and so the preamp has a phono preamp inside it. New stuff often does this with two boxes. Old stuff does not. Any technology can provide excellent performance. I have a Vacuum tube in mine. Just one mind you. Transistors work just as well. Do not fall for marketing BS about "Class A" ALL low level signals use class A circuits. If all else fails a price between $500 to $2000 indicates a good one if there are more than one for sale to compare to.

Amplifier: I draw the line here to not use vacuum tube amps. I had a pair of tube amps for many years and the romance is undeniable. Cost effective they are not. You can get a very good to great transistor amplifier for as little as $500 to as much as $1500. The same money will get you a small tube amp at best. Solid state Golden Oldies include Harman Kardon, Quad, Bryston, NAD, Adcom, Hafler and I have to say Dynaco. If you can find one with a dual mono power supply makes a big difference. Harman Kardon and Bryston do that.

There are lots of old pieces by Pioneer, and Kenwood, and Technics, and Yamaha that are very good. The good ones are not cheap, but way less than the new poser products.

Turntable: This is what I like. Big flat black discs with liner notes and all that. Yes you have to get up every 20 minutes, but that is good for you Mr Potato. If you kept your old ones (or your dad or grandad did) then good on ya! If not it is a world to discover.

Today on my local Craigslist there are 198 items under turntable. Most actually spin records. You can get a legitimate high end turntable for $1000. You can get a very good one for under $500. You can buy a reasonable brand new one for about the same money. I recommend getting one that has a removable head shell to hold the phono cartridge.

If you have a TT (short for Turntable) you need a phono pick up or cartridge. They are still made and very good. New is pretty essential as parts do not age well. Audio Technica, Ortofon, Grado are all good. I have too many. You can get perfectly good for $200 bucks even less. Things get serious fast at $350. Avoid Moving coil types they are expensive, fragile and frankly not as good as they are reputed to be.

What I have today:

I have a Phase Linear 8000a series 2 linear tracking turntable with a carbon fiber arm. I paid $500 bucks for it. I spent a further $100 bucks for new leg dampers.

I am running a GRADO Opus 3 wood bodied cartridge I spent $320 for. I have a display box with AT 440Mla, AT 7V, Signet Tk7E, AT95 and a couple others I cant think of right now.

I have an Audio Research SP14 preamp I spent $1900 for including shipping across from Ontario to BC.

I have 245 Watt Per channel solid state amplifier I built from a Dynaco 410 kit but with the output transistor array of a 416 plus foil capacitors in the signal path and a dual mono power supply with an outboard capacitor bank. I call it the "FrankenAmp". I don't remember what it cost I will guess in today's money about $600.

I have a set of strange speakers of my own design that have about $500 bucks worth of parts and materials in it.

Whats that come to err... $3920.

In that same time I sold a Transcriptor Skeleton glass turntable for $1900 bucks. I sold my Sony Turntable for $1100, and my ARC Sp12 for $1200. So I am ahead there.

I have a Harman Kardon Citation 12 worth about $600 to $800. I have a SAE MK XXX preamp worth about $400 ish. I also have a pair of larger Advent Speakers I repaired for too much money that are worth about $250. All that is sitting in an extra room collecting dust. Oh I forgot to mention my Harman Kardon ST7 turntable. I should sell that stuff if my son-in-law don't want to buy it.

It is fun. Lost on many people is that it is all to listen to music and appreciate art. Hardware is just a path, the goal is the music. Like in so many things some people get all wound up in upgrading and following the latest fads. My goal is to get closer to the performer and what they are doing.

I can hear a woman part her lips as she is about to sing or draw a breath. That makes it more real to me. I can close my eyes and be in a studio or symphony hall. It is transporting. Virtual reality got nothing on this.

[starsrshiney]

A new update to the 'fics I'll never actually write,' specifically the 'crossover brain' series

Holograms, a new technology. In the near future, paranormal phenomenon frequently occur. Humans began to refer to them as. . . Hologram Ghosts.

A large man dressed in an orange jumpsuit crashes through a nearby door. "Did somebody say GHOSTS?!"

Danny Phantom x Digimon Ghost Game crossover.

So to start off with, I'm going to be using Hartman's "eldest fenton sibling," but I'm not using the story he came up with. Instead, I'm having him be an expy for Hokuto from DGG, but as a disappeared older brother instead of a disappeared dad.

While Jack and Maddie were working on the ghost portal, Flynn was doing research into the Hologram Ghost phenomenon, convinced it wasn't the type of ghosts that his parents were looking after. He got warped to the digital world for his troubles, leaving behind a fitbit-like watch digivice for Danny to find.

Danny doesn't tell anyone, even Jazz, about the watch. Everyone was more concerned about the perfectly circular crater in front of Flynn's computer anyway.

So Danny comes home from detention after the Lunch Lady incident, feeling good that he knows what to use his powers for, but still missing his disappeared older brother. When he gets in his room he finds a parcel on his bed with some strange chips inside. He plugs a chip into the watch he found in Flynn's crater.

Suddenly his room is covered in overgrown weeds. A black cat in a delivery outfit points out a white dinosaur in his room and then disappears.

Flynn shows up, but he's a hologram. "Hey Danno! This is Gammamon, and he needs some guidance. Now YOU get to be the big brother!"

Danny: I've never gone from missing someone to wanting to punch their face so quickly.

------

And as usual for one of my crossover brain write ups, I have a strong start but only ideas or incidents along the way.

-

What you Want (DP) happening in parallel with Scribbles (DGG)

Tucker getting power drunk from Desiree's wish granting power happens at the same time as Sam getting her hand stolen.

Danny: Wait, you partnered up with the rabbit? I would have thought that Dracmon guy was more your style.

Sam: He stole my hand, Danny. Besides, rabbits are natural Super-Recyclo Vegetarians.

Angoramon: [is going to be the only voice of maturity, basically like DGG]

-

So with Danny paired with Gammamon and Sam with Angoramon, that leaves Tucker to be partnered with Jellymon.

Jellymon: a pathetic nerd? Yep, that's my Darling alright.

Tucker: Who are you calling pathetic?

-

Dash tries to bully Danny, but this is before Danny learns how to use his Digivice -v- to make Gammamon invisible.

Gammamon: YOU GIVE BAD VIBES [Vibe-checks Dash]

-

Speaking of Dash, either him or Mikey (or maybe Wes?) would be the person who gets Clockmon'd in front of Danny.

Danny: you. . .really aren't the normal type of ghost, are you?

-

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of Wes getting caught up in Hologram Ghost/ Digimon incidents. Would that make him like the Caught Up Old Man from Appmon, or Kotaro/Aoi & Mika from Ghost Game?

-

Fenton family first visiting Vlad in his castle

Gammamon: [currently in the invisible-to-humans-without-digivice state] He gives off bad vibes, I want to make him go boom.

Danny: [whispering] He's a friend of my parents, so how about we don't do that.

Later, when Danny is trapped in the cube: I should have let Gammamon vibe check him.

-

Dual Halloween Ep- Fright Night (DP) and The Doll's Manor (DGG)

To stop the storm, to end the fear, sheath thy sword in pumpkin near!

Danny: [seeing all the pumpkins Pumpkinmon summoned for his attacks and left behind] not a problem.

-

DP Ep- Splitting Images

Poindexter: [Take's over Danny's body]

Gammamon: YOU ARE NOT MY BIG BROTHER, GET OUT OF HIS BODY, I'LL MAKE YOU GO BOOM

Poindexter: [doesn't get a chance to use Danny's halfa powers for popularity points as he keeps having to deal with this tiny triceratops yelling and attacking him]

Eventually Tucker/Sam/Angoramon/Jellymon find the duo. Which I guess means Splitting images happens long after What You Want? Canon episode order, what's that?

Jellymon: Maybe the ghost will leave if we shock him out! [prepares bibi thunder]

Poindexter: WhO aRe YoU pEoPlE?!

-

DP Ep- My Brother's Keeper

Spectra trying to make Danny miserable keeps failing because the invisible-and-intangible-even-to-ghosts Gammamon keeps yelling about her Bad Vibes.

-

The Ultimate Enemy. Dan and GulusGammamon. But would they work with each other or fight on sight? Ghostly Wail vs Desdemona/ Dark Pales

-

DGG Episode Nightly Procession of Monsters

Danny: [through clenched teeth, flying instead of driving a go-kart] Sistermon Ciel. . .

Relatedly, the Nightly Procession being chased by the Fenton RV. Jack trying very hard to catch up to all the ghosts while Maddie wonders why none of them (besides Phantom if he's dealing with it at the moment) seem to have any ectoplasm readings.

-

DGG Episode Chain Letter

Danny: So why do you have everyone in school's email addresses?

Casper High: [looking for Tucker to punish him for "sending" the Zassoumon/Weedmon chain letter]

Tucker: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Later. . .

Technus, in his new robot body: Oooh, I got an email. [check] BAH! Even I know better than to fall for a chain letter like this! DELETE!

Chain letter: [refuses to be deleted, blue screen's technus' new suit, Zassoumon/Weedmon start flowing out of the seams.]

-

Danny: I can't tell what was worse, Ember's hypnotic singing or Sirenmon's painful singing

-

Something: [happens]

Tucker: What do you guys think, ghost ghost or hologram ghost?

[arrowflier]

The Step Count Sham

I am so tired, you guys.  I’m not used to doing my own lab work anymore, and my feet and back are killing me.😢  My fitbit is super proud of me though, hence today’s speedwrite topic.

“Hey, I got something for you,” Ian says one morning, handing Mickey a small box over breakfast.

“Yeah?” Mickey asks, setting down his fork to make a grab for it.  “What’s the occasion?

Ian shrugs as Mickey starts to tear into the packaging.  “Can’t a guy just get his husband a present?”

Mickey eyes him across the table, pausing in opening the box.  “No,” he answers simply, and Ian sighs, exasperated.

“Just open the damn thing, will you?” he pleads, and Mickey relents, prying the box open to reveal...

A blank watch?

“The fuck is this?” Mickey asks, twisting it around.  The face lights up, and he nearly drops it into his scrambled eggs in surprise.

“It’s a fitbit,” Ian tells him excitedly.  “It tracks your movement, tells you how many steps you take, calories you burn, all kinds of stuff.”

“And why would I want that?” Mickey questions, shaking the little device to see it light up again.

Ian pouts.  “I thought it was cool.  Look, I got one too.”  He holds up his wrist, and sure enough, his usual watch has been replaced by a sleek new band.  “Besides,” he continues, “don’t you want to get healthy?”

Mickey scoffs.  “Since when have I cared about getting healthy, man?”

“Since the longer you live, the more time we have together,” Ian answers.

And fine, ok.  He’ll try the damn thing.

He regrets it as early as the next morning, when Ian sets their daily goal to 10,000 steps.

“It’s the recommended goal,” he tells him.  “It won’t be that hard,” he insists when Mickey just scowls.  “Just give it a try, we can always change it later,” he bags, and Mickey gives in.

“Fuckin’ fine, fitness freak,” he grumbles, but kisses Ian before he leaves and promises to make an effort all the same.

An hour later, he hasn’t left the sofa, and he’s contemplating his options.

Ian would pout if he didn’t do anything, but he can’t bring himself to walk.  He could lift some weights or something, sure, but that wouldn’t appease the contraption that now sat on his wrist.  

As he was thinking, his eyes drifted up, and settled on the ceiling fan.

Oh, he thought with a smirk.  That could work.

When Ian gets home later, Mickey proudly passes him the device, and waits for approval.  Ian grins when he sees the active minutes displayed on the screen, then flicks a finger over it and frowns.

“Mickey,” he says slowly.  “This says you cycled for three hours today, without leaving the building.”  He looks up at Mickey, eyes puzzled.  “We don’t even have a bike.”

Damn.

--

The next day, Mickey thinks he has a better solution.  He wanders the neighborhood until he finds what he’s looking for, then goes around the side of a small brick house to jimmy open the back gate.  A few minutes later, and he’s heading to the park, a tiny chihuahua tucked under one arm.

They play catch for half an hour, and he lets it run around with his watch tied to its collar for longer than that while he idly scrolls through videos on his phone.  When it starts to get dark, he grabs up the pup and heads back, knocking on the door of the house he took it from to offer a frazzled old woman her missing dog back.  He pockets the twenty bucks she gives him as a reward.

This time, he’s sure it will work.  He went somewhere, so the GPS won’t give him away, and that damn dog sure stepped enough.

But Ian frowns again when Mickey presents the watch at the end of the day.

“Mickey,” he asks, exasperated.  “How on earth did you manage 16,000 steps in an hour?  Are you a marathon runner now?”

Fuck.  He hadn’t thought about how short the dog’s damn legs were.

--

Mickey is sure he has it down this time.  He has to leave the apartment, or the GPS will rat him out.  And a human has to take the steps, or the ratio won’t be right.  If it’s too much, Ian will get suspicious.  He can manage that.

This time, he finds a nearby gym, and lurks around until he spots a likely target.  

He runs straight into the young woman making for the door, dressed like she was on her way to an aerobics class.  He catches her immediately, offering sincere apologies while slipping her own activity tracker off her wrist.

“Oh, hey,” he calls after her as she heads inside.  “Think you dropped this.”  He holds out his tracker, and she thanks him profusely, putting it on her wrist.

“Not a problem,” he says graciously, and grins as she turns around and heads to class.

Later, he sneaks into the mostly-empty women’s locker room and steals it from her bag while she showers.  He spots the count on the screen, almost spot on, and leaves with a spring in his step.  Jackpot.

He hands the thing to Ian with glee later that night.  Ian looks at him with suspicion, which he pointedly ignores.   After tapping the screen, Ian looks impressed--then he keeps scrolling through the display, and sighs.

“Mickey,” he says, and nothing else.

“What?” Mickey asks defensively.  “What’s wrong now?”

Ian just turns the screen so he can see what it proudly displays: 45 minutes, swimming.

“The fuck?” Mickey grabs it out of Ian’s hand, taps at it like it will change what he sees.  “I swear I had it this time, what the--”

“You had it, huh?” Ian asks wryly, and Mickey feels himself flush. 

“I mean, yeah.”  He tosses the thing down onto the sofa between them, decides to double down.  “I went for a swim, you got a problem with that?”

“Yeah, I do,” Ian answers.  “Because your trunks are in the wash, and I don’t want all our neighbors watching my husband skinny dip.”

Damn it all.  Foiled again.

“Why don’t you just come for a jog with me tomorrow?” Ian offers.  “We can lower your goal a bit, get it done in one.”  He raises an eyebrow.  “And you can stop trying to fool me about it.”

Mickey thinks about it.  “Can we get donuts on the way back?” he wonders out loud, and Ian nods with a small smile.

“Fine then,” Mickey grouses.  “One jog, and you fuckin’ feed me after.”

“Sure Mickey,” Ian agrees as he moves the fitbit off the cushions so he can scoot close enough to wrap an arm around Mickey’s shoulders.  “It’s a deal.”

[irynatopfit]

BURN THE CALORIES Last week I posted that knowing your calorie intake is more important than knowing how many calories you burn. Has it ever happened to you that you have been burning thousands of calories per day and struggling to lose any weight? It feels very frustrating when you spend hours in the gym, do your ten thousands steps, your watch shows you the insane amount of the calories which you burnt, and yet you’re not able to lose weight, right? So what’s the problem then? Research from Stanford University and the Swedish School of Sport and Health Sciences made in 2017 found that if you’re measuring calorie burn using a fitness tracker — such as the Apple Watch or Fitbit Surge — the calorie feedback may be way off. Though six of the seven devices tested produced accurate heart rate readings (within 5 percent), even the most accurate tracker was off by an average of 27 percent when it came to measuring energy expenditure. The worst was off by 93 percent! Just think about it: the percentage of inaccuracy varies from 27% to 93%! That’s insane. That’s why I suggest my clients not to pay too much attention to the amount of the calories they’re supposedly burning, because the data is quite inaccurate. On top of that it gives you false impression that you can eat the same amount of food or more because you burnt so much! If you want to lose weight you should focus only on the calories that you consume and use fitness trackers to monitor heart rate, amount of steps, quality of sleep, recovery rate, etc. Have you ever struggled with burning a lot of calories and not losing any weight? Let me know in the comments below 👇🏻 #nutrition #weightloss #onlinepersonaltrainer #onlinefitnesscoach #fitness #fatloss #calories #caloriedeficit (at Saudi Arabia) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChO5Oi5LJFa/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[stevestonbike]

Well that dint go as planned.

It is now August. I missed beating July last year by 70 ish klicks. We had a family not-quite-emergency that prevented a ride on the weekend. I am ahead of year-to-date but I missed a ride to keep me on track.

I still feel good, but I needed the push. I went out last night, and it was a rough start. My legs knew they had been idle for longer than usual. That said my numbers from the previous weekday ride were pretty much the same.

I general terms my MET minutes are getting close to 1800 per week. That aint bad. My resting heart rate per FITBIT is 59 though the overnight track was down to 56 in a few places.

The club did a trip out to Vancouver Island. I did not go as it is a bother and I wanted to do a particular ride which dint happen anyway. I am feeling like quitting the club as it is not fun. I should say it was very negative fun last time out as the "leader" decided that when I did certain things it was a bad thing. When he did them well.... he is special. There is also a serious problem with picking routes. I mean they have done Stanley park four times. Just out and back. I love that place and it is better now the park board has removed most of the stupid traffic barriers. But shit where is the variety? Where is the building distance? The Granfondo is in one month!

This is a long weekend coming. I will target the FN mountain. That is 105 km. The climb is 915 meters elevation over I think 12 km. (I will try to remember to measure the road distance. There are some steep pitches (for me) and it is a solid challenge. If I do that "comfortably" I am ready for Whistler.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

“Lovely... I cannot wait to see." -- for Oliver

CW: Whump of a minor, Oliver is gross

“How has the work been going?” Oliver frowns, pinching a bit of lint up off his pants, staring at it, discarding it back to the floor of this strange little room. In the corner there’s a plastic padded mat with a small cord that plugs into the wall - to provide heat, it was explained, as a reward. There are cupboards and cabinets lining every wall, except for one, where he sees a row of shackles on a metal bar fastened to it with heavy bolts. Some X-shaped crosses are stacked on each other in another corner.

In the center, near where Oliver sits, there is a tall table, like a doctor’s exam table, only larger and with more restraints. Padded, the same color as the mat.

A training room, they tell him.

Perhaps politics was the wrong business for him to go into, if other jobs involve working somewhere like this.

Karen looks up from typing on her laptop at a small desk, nails clicking on the keys, painted and manicured, a perfectly shining deep green that matches part of the print on her carefully chosen blouse. Somehow, the blouse - made of a billowy fabric - reads as severe on her, where it wouldn’t on anyone else. “Well enough. There are aspects that are less than acceptable, but we’ll have those worked out within weeks. You’ve put us on a time crunch, Governor-”

“Please. Not here.” Oliver waves one hand in a casual dismissal. “I’m simply Oliver here. I don’t like to carry my title inside places where it doesn’t belong.”

If he were speaking to anyone else, he would be warning them. But Karen could ruin him with this information getting out, not the other way around, and he knows it.

“Fair,” She says after the briefest pause. Her phone vibrates, once, and she picks it up to check, humming to herself. “The product is ready for initial contact.”

“Lovely. I cannot wait to see.”

“The product will not know you, yet,” Karen says, and sends a response through her phone, standing and walking with a quick click of her heels - Oliver watches the movement of the blood-red soles - over to the double-doors. “This is the initial greeting. You’ll see better responses, with time.”

“I understand. Let’s go ahead and get this part over with.” Oliver checks the FitBit on his wrist, slightly irritated. But Nancy insists he keep better track of his health these days... “I have a 2 o’clock with a state senator to unfortunately get through.”

“Hm.” Karen pauses, minutely. “Not one of ours.”

“No. But that’s how it shakes out, sometimes I have to speak to the other side, too, you know.”

The door unlocks, and Karen opens it up, tilting her head.

Oliver catches his breath, watching as the boy is gently pushed inside, cringing back and away from Karen instinctively. Despite the simple oversized white shirt and black shorts, he’s gorgeous.

His face is beautifully wrought, he’s more sculpture than boy, isn’t he? Just-

“... he has a black eye,” Oliver says, surprised. “I thought I insisted-”

“Gave it to himself,” The handler says, laying a heavy hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Won’t happen again. We took care of the problem.”

“223499,” Karen says, firmly. “Look up.”

The boy’s head raises automatically, and he mouths something that Oliver thinks, with a sense of surreality, looks like I’m Christian. As if religion means anything in a place like this. But the protest dies without being spoken aloud.

“You are in the presence of your prospective.”

The boy’s eyes wander, hazy and unfocused, over to where Oliver sits by the table.

“Show your respect, trainee.”

Oliver’s breath is taken a second time when the handler smacks the boy’s back with the palm of his hand and barks, “Respect!”

The boy, shaking, drops to his knees and presses his forehead against the floor.

“My God,” Oliver says in a rush of air. “He’s going to be worth every damn penny, isn’t he?”

Karen’s smile is thin-lipped and cold. “I certainly hope so.”