#he didn't send that heartbreaking letter

[kaciebello]

Dangerous mail

Masterlist Badger express ★ Mattheo Riddle x Hufflepuff!reader (fem) Summary: Mattheo needs to use the Badger post to send threats. There is only one person who can help him.  Warnings: no use of y/n Authors note: Haiya! This is a sequel series to the whole delivery one. This one is gonna focus on the boys separately! hope you enjoy it! English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes beforehand. Proofread by me and me only (Ｔ▽Ｔ) word count: 1.2k Song: Babydoll - Dominic Fike

 Mattheo vowed to himself never to use the delivery service. That's why his steps were fast and his looks were sharp. When the vow is only in his mind, it is as easy to break as a twig. Trying to find the Hufflepuff Girl turns out to be a rather difficult task. The note was bent, almost burning a hole in his back pocket.

He has already scared a bunch of first-years trying to find the girl, he has searched from the dungeons to the towers and she was nowhere to be found. If he was to guess, the girl was just a few steps faster than him. So when he arrived at the greenhouse where herbology classes are held, he swore angles were upon him when a beam of light shined at the girl.

She was, for some reason, sitting on the top of the highest cabinet. The one where you need to climb to get on top. Now, Matteo has learned not to question the Hufflepuff way of sitting in the most uncomfortable places in the most uncomfortable positions. He once saw her hang upside down from the broom, intentionally. 

He made his way to her, the girl seemed to be dozed and sunbathing in the beam. Her hair was let down but he could still make out the yellow bow in it. He knocked on the cabinets to get the girl's attention. She looked down at him with no other reaction.

“Oi,” He said looking up. She didn't answer him, just waved at him as she swayed her legs back and forth. Mattheo had to step aside otherwise he would have been kicked straight in the face.

“Can you come down?” He asks grabbing her leg, effectively stopping it from swinging. She tried to move it, but his grip was strong.

“And why would I do that?” She argued back, looking down at him she made sure to shield her eyes from the sun.

“Because I wanna talk to you.” He hissed back in truth slytherin fashion. She just looked at him and signaled for him to talk. He just sighed and accepted his fate and the fact that she was not gonna come down from her throne. He assumed that the minute she would have got down, another wild Hufflepuff would have taken her place in seconds.

“I need to use the Badger post.”He says avoiding her eyes. Looking around, making sure nobody hears them.  She raised her eyebrows at him. Not once has one of the boys asked to use her services. Yes, they have received notes and love letters, but not once have they sent something back. Truly playing to the heartbreaker personas. She had a shocked expression on her face for a second before it turned into a wild smile.

“Oh? And who owns the honors to receive a love note from you?”

“It's a treat.”

“Oh,” she pauses. “That makes sense.” She extended her arms to him. For a moment he thought she was asking him to help her down, but he quickly realized that she wanted the note. He reached into his back pocket, pulled it out, and handed it to the girl. She took it from him and immediately opened it.

“Hey!” He yelped and tried to take it away from her, however, she moved it out of his reach.  He murmured something about privacy, she just waved at him again.

“Please, that applies to love notes, not this. I wanna know who you want to kill. Again.” She said and finished reading. Impressed she gave Mattheo a thumbs up. He rolled his eyes at her.

“Well. will you deliver it?” He asks her with urgency. Some people walking by give him weird glances, so he gives them the death glare. She just lifted the note against the sun.

“Ya know I was talking to my friend the other day.” She says now looking at him. He gave her a weird look, not understanding where she was going with this.

“And one of them said my dad is hot. Is your dad hot Mattheo?”

“He's the dark lord.”

“Ahh, is that a no then?”He just shook his head, choosing not to answer the girl. For both of their sakes. 

“Will you please deliver it?” He asks her again. She extended her hand to him and made a motion that could only mean one thing. Mattheo reaches again into his back pocket. Pulling out 5 galleons and dropping them in her palm. The girl thum glazes over them and then places them in her skirt pocket. The note soon followed.

“Please doing business with you.” She says pulling her legs up and starting to sunbathe again. Mattheo huffed in disbelief. 

“I kinda need you to do it now.” He says, nervously stepping from side to side. She signed and looked at him again. She let her feet down and scooched to the edge of the cabinet. Mattheo was watching her. It took him a few seconds to understand she was training to get down.  Looking around trying to calculate how and where to jump. Her eyes landed on him.

“Catch me.” She says. He just signed and extended his hands to catch her. He placed his hands around her waist before she jumped. He helped her down slowly, setting her gently on the floor. She was a little bit too close. He could feel her breath on his face. He was so close he could count the eyelashes on her eyes. Her eyes were sparkling in a way he had never seen before. His eyes shift to her lips for a second before going back to her eyes. One of his arms left her waist, moving to her face and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. He leaned in a bit.

“It's extra.” He stopped in his tracks. Pulling away to look at her straight in the face.

“What?”

“Express delivery, it's 2 galleons extra.” She says looking at him with a very serious face. He chuckles and takes a few stapes away from her. Nodding his head he, he reaches for his back poked and pulls out the 2 galleons.  Placing them in her hand. She doesn't move a muscle, looking at him wide-eyed. 

“You are impossible, you know that sunshine?” He asked her. Her nose scrunched before she shrugged her shoulders at him.

“I will get this delivered by tonight.” She says, now back to her happy persona. She waved at him and left. He watched her as she skipped down the hall. Her robe followed her every movement. He was so close and yet so far. Maybe next time she won't slip away from him. And maybe he won't be so against using the delivery service.

Tag list: @daisiesformylove , @klimovatereza-blog , @lafrone ,@enfppuff , @rafegfs , @frogtape , @lovelyygirl8 , @catiwinky, @anyam444 , @leeleecats , @ghostgardn , @reverse-soe , @ultramarinetovelvet , @iwishigotswallowed , @jazz-berry , @justatadbonkers , @partnerincrime0 , @schaebickel , @bunnyhopsstuff

[sidekick-hero]

I can't stop thinking of Eddie as Cyrano de Bergerac.

He's in the drama club, he's known for his way with words, his ability to bring whole worlds to life with them. Few people know that he also writes poetry, poems about love and loss, society and justice, whatever comes to his mind. Many of them are about a mysterious person with gold-flecked eyes and autumn hair, constellations on his skin, and the sun in his heart.

Eddie guards his notebook full of poems like a dragon guards his hoard of gold. And yet.

And yet Susie Bowers finds it where it fell out of his pocket when that asshole Tommy Hagan pushed him against the lockers. She reads it and realizes how devastatingly beautiful Eddie's words are.

It makes her think… think about her crush on Steve Harrington, the fallen king who is still the most eligible bachelor at Hawkins High. Especially since he refuses to just take girls home to fuck them. No, he wants to date. He wants to fall in love. It's catnip for everyone, but at the same time so frustrating because no girl has managed to catch his eye yet.

Maybe this little notebook is her ticket to a relationship with Steve Harrington.

She approaches Eddie and shows him the notebook, pulling it out of his reach as he attempts to grab it. She offers him a deal: she won't spread copies of all his cute little writings all over the school, exposing his deepest secrets for everyone to see and ridicule. In exchange, Eddie will help her sweet-talk Steve Harrington.

Eddie agrees and writes love letters to the boy he's been in love with ever since he found him drunk and depressed on the side of the road after his girlfriend dumped him. He had taken him home, listened to him ramble on about what he had done wrong, why no one would want to love him, and then put Steve to bed and watched him sleep until morning to make sure he was okay.

He left before Steve woke up, and the next time they saw each other at school, Steve didn't even look at him. It had broken his heart and inspired most of his poems, because nothing inspires like heartbreak.

And now Eddie can tell Steve all the things he thinks and feels about him - just to make it seem like it's written by Susie.

It seems to work, because Steve replies to her letters. His replies are simpler, less lyrical, but just as earnest. His words are sweet, and he's funny and thoughtful.

He's everything Eddie knew he was going to be. And Susie couldn't care less, she just wants to go out with him, have him take her home, have everyone know that she's Steve Harrington's girlfriend.

They go out. After a dozen letters, he gives in and asks her out.

Eddie cries himself to sleep that night.

Someone knocks on his bedroom window. Confused and a bit nervous, because he doesn't have only friends in this town, far from it, he goes to open it.

And finds Steve Harrington standing right outside his window.

"What -"

"Did you mean them?" Steve asks and he can't tell from his tone what he's thinking.

"What?"

"Your letters, did you mean what you wrote or did you just write down what you thought I wanted to hear so I'd go out with Susie?"

His tone doesn't really change, but Eddie can see his eyes shining in the dim light coming from his bedroom. He looks upset, and Eddie wants to fix it, but he doesn't know what answer would do that.

So he chooses the truth. "Yes. I meant every single word I wrote in those letters."

"Then why didn't you send them under your own name?" When did Steve get so close? And why is the window sill digging into his stomach?

At Steve's question, Eddie can't help but laugh bitterly. "Did you look at me, Steve? I'm the town freak! A fuckup. Trailer trash. A small-time drug dealer who failed his senior year. Why would anybody - why would you want to get love letters from me?"

Steve nods, not saying a word as he turns and walks away. And okay, he deserves it, he guesses. Hanging his head in defeat, he shuffles away from the window and face plants on his bed, letting fresh tears fall from his eyes.

Until there's another knock, this time at his front door.

He's out of bed in record time, almost breaking his neck in his haste to get to the door. It can't be - it's impossible that this is -

Steve is standing on his front porch, looking devastatingly handsome in his light-washed Levi's and red sweater. His date outfit.

He walks up to him before Eddie can say anything and cups his cheek.

"I've been looking at you, Eddie. All I've done since the night you brought me home and listened to me and took care of me, I've been looking at you. Looking and waiting. Hoping. Wanting you to give me a sign, any sign, that it wasn't just chivalry that made you do this, but the fact that you cared. About me. But you never did."

"Steve," Eddie whispers, but Steve isn't finished.

"And then I get these letters, and all the words, they sound like you. I couldn't be sure, not until I read the line, 'You deserve someone who wants to love you, all of you, the good and the bad and everything in between. I want to be that person. I want to love you.' You're the only one I've ever said that to. I knew it had to be you."

"But why? Why go out with Susie?"

"Because I had to be absolutely sure that it wasn't Susie. And after ten minutes with her, I was. I drove around until I couldn't… I had to talk to you. To see if you mean it. If you want to love me."

Eddie kisses him.

There's nothing else on his mind but the need to finally kiss the boy he's been in love with for almost a year.

Steve kisses him back, soft, tender, then deeper, dirtier.

When they pull apart, both gasping, Eddie leans in closer because his next words are meant for him and Steve and no one else.

"I want to love you long after my body crumbles to dust and my soul finds yours in the afterlife. I want to love you as the ocean does the moon, forever bound, forever following its call, until the end of time."

[dawnsnail]

I literally can't stop thinking about the WoL and Themis.

The realization that this person you thought was a villain for years is just a sweet little guy before he's thoroughly corrupted by the biggest sacrifice he'll ever make and the fallout of it. That he looks up to you, and you're the kind of hero he aspires to be.

That he respects you so much that he asks for your thoughts on his warring internal identity, because he's unsure if he can be a person when so much duty is on his shoulders.

The guilt that he might have volunteered to be the heart of Zodiark because it's what he thought you might do

There's so much heartbreak throughout the last tier of Pandaemonium -- the way he's so excited to show off his battle skills for you, then so grateful to just spend a few more moments in your presence. The exchange of aether, that the WoL volunteers to give him aether without a second thought to give him form for just a little more stolen time. The pleading for you to hear him out because he has feelings to share in his last moments.

And then he has the absolute gall to tell you that it all had meaning because he got to meet you and get to know you.

And despite finally, finally remembering everything, he chooses not to stay.

Then he dissipates into nothing??? And he's gone.

Because they never stay. Hades and Hythlodaeus didn't. Why would Themis?

But there's still an open portal to Elpis. You can still go back in time and interact with the Unsundered world, daily if you want to, and you have close friends and allies now who live there. So why wouldn't you send a letter? Why wouldn't you wait until Themis shows up again, just to spend another moment of stolen time together?

I will never stop being heartbroken about this 💙

[gamarancianne]

Azriel x reader - In Between part 2

Part 1

Summary: trying to regain your confidence after your broken heart, you met someone in the same position as you and developped one of the best friendships you had ever had. A genuine and sincere friendship. But this person may be closer by other ways to you than you thought.

Warnings: still angst, alcohol in a not healthy way, heartbreak again, hypocrite Elain (kinda slander ig), Lucien being the best.

Note: well maybe a part 3 ig 😅, I was really inspired tbh. Thank you all for having loved the part 1 and shared it with me ! Ily 💗💗 and don't hesitate to ask me something or chat with me in my inbox or dm, or in the comments !

You had been a crying mess for two weeks now, sometimes you went out in a bar to drink so much you would forget even your name. That was the point, forget the constant sting in your heart and you head. Forget him, his beautiful Hazel eyes and inked tattoos on his broad and golden chest. And here we go again: the tears flooded themselves on your face. It was a day to drink today, or tonight, you didn't really have a time notion for the past two weeks: waking up at dawn or dusk, eating, crying and sleeping. You had to forget about all those beautiful things about him, you had to empty your brain and heart. You didn't want to feel something again.

As you were walking to the nearest bar, you thought about those letters elain had sent you, saying you were her dearest friend and asking if your confession went well. You knew she knew that it was you in her apartment that cursed day, but she still pretended and even was saying the complete opposite of what she had said to azriel, falsely comforting you. Was she ever was your friend at this point ? Or has she always criticised and stabbed you behind you back ? Anyway you had decided that it was way better for you to ignore her and keep living your life, if you could still call what you were living a life, without her.

You didn't even noticed when you had arrived in front the door of the bar, but you did and entered, going directly to your now favorite spit in front of the barman : the alcohol was there easier to get. You didn't see then, the redhead man who was at the exact place you had been the few days prior. How dare he steal your chair like that ? Approaching slowly you stilled and you understood that this man was surely in the same situation as you, a heartbreak, seeing his bent frame and the many empty glasses in front of him. They could only have been his because no one was seated near him, and everyone was judging him. They were all avoiding the poor man whose name you didn't know.

"I was almost mad at you for stealing my favourite seat" you stated, seating next to him as his head shot to your side wondering if you were really talking to him.

"Yes I'm talking to you"

"Ah, I'm sorry for your seat do you want it back ?" He asked, genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks flushed.

"No I'm fine here, I can speak with you ...?" You asked ?

"Lucien".

"I'm yn, and as I was saying, I can speak with you here Lucien" he nodded.

"Nice to meet you yn, but you don't wanna talk to me, don't you see all the glares everyone sends me here ?" He drank in a one shot what seemed to be whisky and stared again at his now empty glass.

"Oh gods you men !" He looked at you confused "I know what I'm doing fuck ! I'm a grown up woman and I can make my own choices ! You re the second on in two weeks who tells me what I want or not." You snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry, then stay if you want." He apologized quickly.

You asked shots to the barman and stayed silent a bit nefore you both asked in one voice "what are you here for ?". You two chuckled a bit before you said "you first".

"Well I've kinda learnt that my mate, who knows that she is my mate is dating someone else. And I feel like I'm not allowed to have just once an ounce of happiness." You were hurt for him as you heard his story that he told you with a careless demeanor. He must really be at his lowest.

"Ouch that hurts, I'm sorry man. She's a fool if you want my opinion." He smiled sadly at your answer and pointed you from his chin asking you silently your story.

"Well im heartbroken as well, my best friend encouraged me confessing to the man I love, but he rejected me, and not in a nice way. But as lucky as I am, I learnt that he is dating my best friend who is a back stabber." I emptied my glass in one drink.

"Ouch that hurts too, I'm sorry." He said echoing my words.

We spent the night drinking, and drowning ourselves in alcohol but in a more joyful way than usually.

I then went more and more at the bar to see him, but we drank less and less, leaving place to real conversations between us. It became quickly a routine, and Lucien became one of my best friends, well my only friend of the time actually. And I was one of his only friend as well. Two broken hearts healing parts of eachothzr then didn't even break. Lucien had explained to me his family problem, and how his former male best friend was a toxic man in relationships, how he had been poorly treated in his biological family, and how his actual best friend was his mate's sister so he didn't know how to approach her anymore. He came a lot in my appartment to spend time with me, he even slept in sometimes, because he couldn't face his current family. He practically had his room in your home, some of his stuff never really left.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After 2 knocks on your door you unwillingly got off your couch and opened it letting a wild and out of breath Lucien appear in front of it.

"Lu ? Are you okay ?" That was his new nickname, he loved it, because he felt like he was loved for once in his life.

"Yes.. no ? I need you to come with me like right now ! "

"Oh okay let me get me keys and I'm coming" you trusted Lucien too much to ever doubt about him, if he needed you then you were there for him.

You left your apartment and went to the direction he indicated. After a while you panicked a little, seeing that you were going to the high lord's house.

"Lucien you know I love you but where are we going?"

"To a family dinner, I can't go alone. See, my mate's relationship got complicated and she always complains to me when I'm alone, which is all the time. So I feel like I'm just a plan b and I'm really uncomfortable when she does it. Don't worry I've told them that someone was going with me."

"I understand Lu, but at the high lord's ?" You asked sceptical.

"Well yes, because my best friend I told you about is Feyre."

"What ?" Lucien, had never told the names of his family members, and you neither, so discovering that his friend was you high lady so that you were going to see Azriel made you weak to the bones.

"Lucien ? Your mate is Elain ??"

"What, yes ? How do you know ??" He exclaimed as he stopped on his tracks.

"She is the fake friend I told you about !" You answered on the same tone.

"So it means that.."

"I am in love with Azriel... yes."

"Oh gods" you both sighed.

"Hum yn ?" He asked unsure of what to say.

"Mmh"

"Have I told you that Cassian and him were the ones to get us to the house?"

"No, no, no. Please no ! But what would we even need to be picked up ?"

"We can't winnow so it's either that or climb 10 000 stairs".

Both fearing the fast approaching dinner, the last part of the walk was silent and the air heavy with tension. You held your breath when you saw two winged big figures, Cassian and Azriel. The first one shot his head in your direction and smiled confused.

"Yn ?" Azriel stiffened as he heard your name. "What does owe us the pleasure to see you ?"

"I'm the one to go with Lu today but I didn't know it was with you...". Azriel froze completely still turning his back to you. He wasn't sure it was you but now it was certain and he couldn't face you after the mean things he had said to your face. He hadn't talked about it to anyone except Elain and he kinda regretted it now. Things had got complicated between them because after your love confession she had grown so much jealous! He couldn't bear it anymore, he was a free man, he hadn't wings for nothing! They would argue a lot more and he hated that because it triggered bad memories in him. Plus he felt a bit bad about you. You hadn't done anything to him to deserve to be treated that way, he was ashamed of his actions because he knew that, as insecure as you seemed to be, you might have been spiralling since. That wasn't him, that wasn't how he was supposed to be. When he got Elain, she changed him a lot, and he wasn't sure anymore that it was for the good. She crushed all of his efforts to keep the bad parts of him inside. He was meaner, colder, he wasn't himself. Rhys have scolded him a little about that and he had really reacted in a bad way. An evidence of what Rhys had advanced. Azriel was sure he had made you feel bad, and he didn't want it : you were a nice and smart female, a little clumsy but still beautiful and lovely. As he finally turned to you, all of his regret splashed on him when crossing your look and seeing you pained eyes. You quickly put your head down and he felt even more bad to have made lose enough confidence for you to fear to hold his gaze. Thinking about it, he didn't understand you insecurity of the beginning, before the altercation. How could you, a very beautiful female, ever doubt about yourself ?

Realisation hit him, that he would have to take you flying because it would be awkward if he took Lucien, his girlfriend's mate. He knew she was complaining to him, and he felt even sorry for the poor Lucien. But a question lingered in his mind: how did you two know eachother ? And why the fuck would Lucien bring you to a family dinner ? Were you dating ? Fear crossed his eyes for a second before regaining his composure. You couldn't be dating Lucien, it was impossible, you had just said two weeks ago that you loved him. Could you have moved that fast ? It frightened him, knowing that he had grown to like you when thinking of your shared moments at training, where you two had laughed, sometimes until crying joy tears, and regretting the mean rejection he had given you in return of something so intimate and innocent as your love and devotion for him. Damn him he had even insulted you ! He cursed himself more and more until he got out of his head when Cassian called him.

"Azriel wake up ! You take yn." He said when shooting in the sky Lucien in his arms.

You both stayed in an awkward bubble, without moving an inch, avoiding the gaze of one another, for 30 long seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm sorry" and "so how are you doing" came at the same time from him side you. You awkwardly chuckled but he stayed still so you stopped finally having the guts to look at him in the eye for more than a millisecond.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder this time. You froze. You didn't want that to happen. You didn't want him to face you abut what happened. It would made it real, and you still hadn't enough courage for that.

"What for ?" You asked, your voice breaking.

"You what for".

You hesitated a lot before responding. "No actually I don't. Was it for mean rejecting me without an ounce of regret or nicenessin your words ? Or maybe the fact that you destroyed my confidence? Oh no ! I know, it was for the time you mocked me in front of my friend, who is in fact your girlfriend, and a fake friend!"

"You weren't supposed to be there that time." He said, suddenly finding the floor really interesting.

"Maybe but I was, so it's the same result and the same mean words that came out of your mouth."

He knew you were right. You were completely allowed to be mad at him for the way he treated you. But it was still hard. Azriel had never been in proper relationships nor had he ever been confessed to. It wasn't a proper excuse but it still made it hard to accommodate to those things for a boy deprived of love for all his life. He didn't know how to react, so to him, the better solution was to stay silent. You sighed, disappointed and he came awkwardly closer to you to hold you and shoot in the sky, following Cassian and Lucien, long arrived and waiting for you worried (especially Lucien).

Elain was waiting for Azriel, or Lucien, no one knew, on the balcony of the House of Wind and almost fell when she saw you. You in Azriel's arms, accompanying Lucien. Azriel struggled to let you go, especially after your conversation, but the second you were out of his hold, Elain held you in a crushing hug. You rapidly got out as well, feeling uncomfortable after her hypocrisy. You gave her a sad smile and Lucien introduced you to Feyre and Rhysand who had already told you to call them by their name, and to Mor and Amren. They all welcomed you warmly except Elain and Azriel of course who both looked like ashamed puppies with their tails between their legs.

After dinner, everyone went out in the garden for a tea and you found yourself on a couch behind Lucien sat on the floor. Automatically, because it was something you were now used to do, your hands found his head and started playing with his hair. Everyone had their eyes on you, confused on your proximity but you didn't notice and kept going on braiding his hair.

"I'll do yours later I promise" Lucien said, looking at you from above.

"I hope so !". Leaving everyone even more confused now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you were ready to left with Lucien, Elain caught you and asked you to have a word with her.

Lucien gave you a worried look and you nodded making him understand you were okay for now.

She led you to a private room and paced in it awkwardly. She opened her mouth twice and closed it almost instantly like she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start.

"So, you ans Azriel ? Huh"

"You have actually no right to be mad at me." She cut you off.

"Excuse me ? But I have every right to be mad at you right now ! You have treated me poorly faking to be my friend and laughing at me when you should have been comforting me !" You snapped, angry.

"Well, it's not like someone could ever treat you well."

"What, what do you mean ?"

"Look at you yn, nobody would ever really be with you. You're not ugly but you're not beautifu, you're not dumb but you're not smart, you're just.. Well you. And that's clearly not enough." She looked at you disgustingly.

"But Lucien is treating me well.." You said tears welling in your eyes.

"Don't be blind, yn, he's a man, and like Azriel he will ran to me when he'll see that you're no longer interesting. You were nice and all, you listened to me but I guess I just got bored of you, anyone would." And with that she left the room, leaving 8 pairs of eyes on you as she opened the door. They instantly approached you, Feyre apologising a thousand time for the mean behaviour of her sister and Azriel staying in the back, his eyes full of worry and apology. He was trying to make you feel like everything she had said was false, that you were so much more than that, worthy of the stars,of two shining stars. Because yes they had heard everything. Lucien made his way to the crowd of his family surrounding you and hesitated before he hugged you out of nowhere. Azriel clenched his jaw and his hands turned into fists. When Lucien released you of his grasp, your expression hadn't changed, its like you were empty, just one single tears had escaped your eye. Cassian and Azriel flew you to the ground of Velaris and the last one had kept his hand on yours to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry, for what she said. It's not one bit true."

"Don't worry, she's surely right..." You had answered your gaze falling on his hand. You had never noticed the scars an them, they were so beautiful, so textured, so unique. You eyes widened at the sight and Azriel quickly hid them behind back before keeping going.

"No she wasn't, please don't doubt yourself because of what came out of her mouth because of jealousy. Because that's what she was and still is, jealous."

"Thank you Az really." You sadly smiled at him before joining Lucien who was waiting for you.

He didn't know why, but something clicked in him seeing you walk away under the arm of Lucien and hearing again his nickname from your mouth. He thought it rolled well on your tongue and really wanted to hear it again, as soon as possible. And it tensed him a lot to know that this man who touched you, was probably sleeping at yours tonight, maybe in your bed to comfort you after this emotionally hard day. It puzzled him a lot and didn't even know why, until his shadows came to his ears and murmured repeatedly "want to be him".

Tag list:

@kalulakunundrum

[adamsrcnan]

OKAY OKAY here we goooo an annoyingly long-ish post about all my thoughts on The Sunshine Court

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilersss you've been warned

First things first it is so interesting to see Nora writing from not one but TWO new people's perspective. Jean's perspective is just devastating being inside his head is heartbreaking the constant fear and panic and how much of his energy is used on just pushing down every memory of what was done to him. His coping mechanisms are terrifying and i truly do hope by the end of book 2 he has a healthier way of dealing with it bc baby boy stop hurting yourself :( Every sentence was so painful to read. But also his resilience the entire time to get through it no matter what, god i fucking love him!!! He is a fighter.

Jeremy's perspective is sooooo refreshing. He is such a little sweetheart i could cry. The fact that he sends hand written letters and he's so caring and genuine but he can also be so stern. When he dropped that "i asked you a question" to Lucas fkehdjdfjdh OK SIR. I'M SAT. His relationship with the family butler is so endearing as well i need more background on that for sure! My only one criticism is that he didn't have enough pov chapters and i'm hoping we'll learn more in the second book of course because there's still so much about him and his (dysfunctional? toxic?) family dynamic that we don't know yet but also i'm greedy and i wanna know EVEYTHING about him !!!

Kevin and Jean are so just tragic it actually breaks my fucking heart like "you didn't have to slit my throat on the way out" JEAN??? and "promise me you won't try again. I can't lose you." KEVIN??? And the fact that Jean to this day is still keeping that promise. Also Jean's obvious but secret long term crush on Kevin the way it's subtly dropped every time Jean has to stamp down on his desire's and "temptations" GOD PLEASE I CAN'T STAND IT

SPEAKING OF!!! BISEXUAL JEAN ??? BI JEAN??? BI JEANNNN !!!!

Neil and Jean oh my God like where do i even start?? The guilt Jean feels at what happened to Neil in the Nest and him finally calling him by his name after Riko's death and telling him his game was good. And Neil seriously needs to give himself more credit for how much of a caring person he is because the way he indirectly told Jean that he thinks he is worth saving and didn't even hesitate before asking Stuart to send someone after That Guy after what Jean told him. Neil Josten the man that you are!!!

Jean's little sister Elodie what a beautiful name. Them being so close and him reading to her. The way he found out about her death jolted me differently. It was so awful and i'm so sorry Jean didn't get to see her grow up and meet her again.

Renee and Jean oh my god. Jean thinking she's beautiful (bitch me toooo) And the whole right person wrong time ugh i can't stand it. Him wearing her necklace all the time, enough that Jeremy always notices it. And unabashedly stealing her picture from the foxes lounge. Like he did not give a fuck. He said this one is mine. One good reason to stay alive being rainbows i'm gonna FKSJSKDHDH. Theirs would be such a soft love.

Speaking of soft loves Laila and Cat are EVERYTHINGGGG. God they are so cute with their little domestic life and their rich gay boy son who crashes on their couch with his cardboard cut out dog. That whole friendship dynamic is beautiful. Their fierce protectiveness and care over Jean as well and the patience they have with him even after the little kitchen incident. When Cat took Jean out for a drive on her motorcycle god that was such a heart warming moment and Jean helping them cook as well and becoming the girls' little sous chef it's so cute so endearing !!!

FINALLY FINALLY THE JEREJEAN DYNAMIC

PLEASE I'M GONNA SCREAM

Jeremy being the one who told Jean that Riko was dead i don't even know what to begin with THAT like hhhhhhh. The way they're both stupidly attracted to each other but won't/can't do anything about it. THE WHOLE "say yes Jeremy" SCENE WTF WAS THATTT I WAS GOING INSANEEEE. Both of them having to stop mid sentence when they catch the other looking FINE as hell. Jean being so obvious that even Lucas picks up on the way he looks at Jeremy. Jeremy being there to ground Jean in a Moment and helping him come down from it. Grabbing his face and telling him he's okay. Moving into the room with him to make him feel more comfortable !! The way Jean grabs Jeremy's chin (boiiiii). Jeremy constantly reminding Jean that he is NOT A RAVEN ANYMORE no matter how many times he has to say it. Jeremy saying he'll wait as long as it takes until Jean speaks to him. JEREMY GIVING HIM A HUG AND JEAN CLUTCHING DESPERATELY TO HIS SHIRT FUUCUFHDHSJHSSUHDH and then the "will you help me?" And the "Anything you need" AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE A CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER?!?!?!!!! i can't i can't i can't i caaan'ttt

There's so much more to say but i'm gonna leave it at this for now because i need to go re-read it again and take my time with it this time round but i really could not have asked for anything better Nora truly outdid herself here !!! I'm forever grateful she blessed us with this after so long.

[polinsated]

@polin-erospsyche said these tags i wrote shouldn't be tags, and i trust her with my possible-inpending embarrassment, apparently, so, here you go:

i adore this look so much. the way colin looks at pen here will never not be used as a defence against people saying polin are 'rushed', or 'have no chemistry', or whatever it is they're saying now. and here's my little take on it.

-> you know how they say, you don't know what you have until it's gone. in this case, colin didn't realise how much he needed pen and her letters until they were gone....

—

this lonely, weary traveller has been away for months. we know his family doesn't often reply to his letters. and although he jokes about it, and they do too, we can all agree that he's upset by this, yes?

so in this moment, he turns around and sees the only person who has been corresponding with him throughout his journeys. he sees the woman who not only responds to every letter he sends but also who does so with genuine interest and fondness. the person who has made him feel like he has had a friend there with him on his travels. i personally believe he was alone for most, if not, nearly all of the time he was away. though, even if he did have some companionship; penelope was his constant for that time.

she has probably been keeping him entertained with stories, making sure he knows his family is okay, and asking him about every detail of his adventures. and in my opinion, i believe she barely ever mentioned herself in these letters. she has really been there with him every step of the way via her open ears (nay eyes) and written words.

and so finally, he sees her there, and i don't think he knows what to do with himself.

does he want to just say hello? probably not - look at his face! does he want to sit down with her right away and ramble on about things he has yet to say? or maybe just tell the same stories - because he knows she will listen, and she will understand, and she will enjoy hearing about them. maybe. does he want to hug her and say thank you? possibly.

my point is that i think he doesn't know what to do. it's such a short look that he doesn't have time to decide. and he's suspended in those moments when he sees her looking back at him with a huge smile on her face. he's overwhelmed.

i may be wrong in this part, but i also think he's a little surprised. he knows pen hangs out with his family a lot, but i don't think he expected her to be there right at that very moment he walked in the door. the man is baffled, to me. and in love.. despite not knowing it yet, hehe.

and it leads me to the sudden and heartbreaking point of 3.01. when colin has finished greeting his family, he turns to look at the featherington house because he notices right away that pen is not there like last time. and now it feels wrong that she isn't.

and if you watch that moment, the exact part when he turns back to his family again, there is something in the way his hands swing loosely at his sides, like a defeated sigh from his body - if you know what i'm trying to say.

his body language, to me, just screams disheartened... dispirited, or whatever other fancy word you'd see fit to use. but it's so subtle...

and then later we find out that penelope didn't respond to any of his letters this time. and i can only imagine how confused he is. because, honestly, he probably forgot about the horrible courting comment he made, and even if he remembered, he doesn't know then that pen heard it. so in his mind he is wondering where on earth his friend is. the possibility that she could be unwell has probably also crossed his mind. he is just - desperate, most likely - at this point to find out what's going on.

the thought of him, on his travels, everyday wondering why there still hasn't been a single letter signed 'penelope' absolutely breaks my heart.

and while i was about to end this post, i just thought about colin actually writing his own letters, and how he might've changed his tone along the way... do you think they ever included such words as something like: "i eagerly await your response." / "i hope to hear from you sometime soon." / "are you well, pen?"

or even this soul destroying, lump in the throat inducing quote that my mind has just come up with: "i've begun to think that there's a possibility you have not received my recent letters. for several weeks i have not heard back. not even a single tidbit about your mama, or my bothersome siblings. i must admit, my travels have not been as such fun or as fascinating as when i have my good friend to tell them to. i hope my writing finds you soon enough, or that yours finds me."

......

anyway, i don't write metas.. or i do and i never post them because i feel stupid and rambly and i'm never sure if it makes sense, but, i'm being a little brave here, haha. (thank you, luwen)

[mrsbrookemunson]

I have a Sebastian Sallow request for you!!! Reader and Sebastian are the top two duelers at Hogwarts, and they’re each others enemies. They always bicker and try to one up each other. Everyone is sure they hate each other. But then comes the last championship day of duels, and in the duel before she’s supposed to fight Sebastian, she gets really hurt and Sebastian panics and rushes her to the hospital wing. They realize they actually like each other and perhaps some love confessions??

You're a real one for this - aka one of my favorite writers 💕 I changed up the request a little to make it more angsty—I still hope you like it 🥹 Also - hey guys! I am new in the Hogwarts Legacy writing community, but I've been known for my James Potter and Remus Lupin fics - along with some other fan favorites.

Warnings: *Not Proofread*, Canon violence (blood, injury, fighting), insecurities, slight dark!seb in this, mentions of gameplay (slight spoiler warning), fem!reader, she/her pronouns, "MC' insert, heavy angst in the beginning and a bittersweet ending (can be left up to interpretation) This is like a complete alternative of what happened in the game. Be warned *insert evil smile*.

Word Count: 2343

Darkness.

That's all she saw in that moment. She could hear her own heartbeat, the blood rushing through her veins, her own slow, shaky, weak breaths as the pain of breathing soon subsided into numbness.

Where did it all go wrong?

The image of his eyes nearly black as the night sky, and that haunting smirk on his face that she grew so fond over.

Fond. Now that was one way to describe. No - she didn't hate him, but he hated her. Her feelings were quite the opposite, that soon behind each bicker and snicker grew a warmth in her chest - a fire that she learned to contain within herself, it would've only been a matter of time till she burnt herself.

Was it love?

It felt like life threw her warnings left, right, and center - that love only causes pain. She didn't think the pain would be so bad to the point where it led to her death. Though, as she slowly accepted the darkness behind her eyelids, she thought... maybe death wouldn't be so bad if it meant escaping the reality of heartbreak. Until she was drawn back out again.

Where did it all go so wrong?

They've been together through so much. He was the only person - besides Professor Fig - who she thought listened to her.

Oh how he listened to her...

"Let me see if I've got this straight. You have Ranrok and Rookwood after you because of something you found at Gringotts - where you ended up via a portkey. You can see traces of ancient magic that you think Ranrok is trying to harness. And now you've been witnessing memories left by 'keepers'? Oh! And this house belonged to a Hogwarts professor - who was one of these 'non-quidditch' keepers - hundreds of years ago." He shifted on his feet. "If I didn't know you - " His smile, it could send her over a million times. " - I'd think you were pulling my leg."

In that moment she couldn't believe her ears - had there really been someone in her life that truly listened to her?

"You're not listening to me!"

"Why would I listen to someone so ignorant?"

She cursed at herself, hearing the slight crack in her voice, and from her vision becoming blurry with tears. "Maybe your uncle was right... you don't know when to stop."

"Oh, I do know when to stop."

It felt like it only got worse after that. He was always disagreeing and trying to start arguments with her. Not thinking before acting. Who once always listened to her soon became a brick wall. Maybe she should've voiced her worries, maybe then she would've been able to salvage the already broken pieces of their friendship.

But, she didn't.

Instead, she chose to turn her back on him and walk away. She chose to avoid him - to ignore him. The number of letters that he sent increased every day when she simply tucked them away without reading them. Her stomach twisted and turned doing so - but it was better than the outcome that most-likely would've happened if she chose to stay.

And when the year ended, winning the battle against Ranrok, losing Professor Fig, she had the slightest sliver of hope that he would've spoken to her - grieved for her - oddly enough, she wanted him to yell at her for being stupid enough to go into such a war without his help. But, he didn't - and she felt foolish for thinking he would.

Would they ever speak again?

"MC, Mister Sallow - up onto the dueling platform," Professor Hecat instructed.

She swore she heard him grumble something under his breath. She noticed how Sebastian's physique changed over the summer after their fifth year. He became taller, his voice got deeper, his eyes became darker, and his skin got paler. Merlin, he looked sickly.

She glanced at him, cautiously before stepping up onto the platform.

She lost. He laughed. How cruel.

"She thinks just because she won a battle against Ranrok, she's the best dueler at the school."

It spread like wildfire.

Lucan was all over it. It seemed as though the two best duelers competing against each other was his way of keeping students engaged in his little 'unsanctioned' club.

It became much bigger than that.

Darkness.

"MC?" she heard a voice call out. "MC?! Wake up!"

"What have you done?"

Time slipped away from her. Seventh year came around, and no progress was made between her and the boy she desired in a way that was almost like a lucid dream. He was right there, she could touch him, feel him if she wanted to - but she knew, if she gave in - she'd wake up.

She didn't want to wake up.

Her own body didn't listen and her eyes cracked open. It was too bright to truly process her surroundings and the pain came back as if she was hit by a train. Her head hurt and it became hard to breathe again.

Why couldn't she breathe?!

Sobs escaped her when she felt something sticky on her hands. She looked down and saw blood soaking through her dueling clothes. She started to hyperventilate.

Hands came to grasp her face and she was met with brown eyes. Not the dark - nearly black - she found herself getting used to. No. Brown. Brown like honey, golden like the sun, melted chocolate she wanted to drown - merlin they were beautiful. Such eyes didn't deserve to hold tears nor look so broken, they deserved to be crinkled by smiling and closed by laughing too hard.

"S-Sebastian?" she called out in a rasp.

He shushed her and ran a hand down her head to soothe her wild, untamed hair. His eyes then widened when he pulled his hand away abruptly to glance down at his fingertips. That's when tears began to fall down his rosy, freckled cheeks. "It'll be okay, we're getting you help, okay?"

She couldn't quite understand him, like she was underwater. She felt dizzy and her eyes were getting heavy again.

"No - no - no, don't close your eyes." He patted her face. "Please, don't close your eyes. I need you to stay awake... help is on their way," he paused. "Stay awake from me."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I do anything for you anymore?" she whispered.

His face contorted into one that expressed such hurt. "Wh - what?"

"After everything... why do you even care? You hate me."

His eyes widen. "H - Hate you? I never said - "

"Don't lie to me..." she cried. "You - you did this, didn't you?" She grew angry. "And to think I would've given you the world if you had just listened to me!" She struggled to raise her voice causing her to violently cough. "To think I loved you..." Her head rolled and he instinctively readjusted to keep her head steady.

"MC? MC?!" He shook her as he cried. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry - you're right - it's all my fault - "

"Step aside! Let us through!" Professor Sharp shouted over all the students panicked filled voices.

Professor Weasley, and Professor Hecat followed him.

Sebastian held onto her tight and attempted to wake her up once more. He pressed his fingers to her wrist, but couldn't find anything. Panic struck him like lightning, he leaned down to press his ear to her chest. Her heartbeat barely there. He watched as her skin was losing its color and he suddenly felt sick.

What had he done?

A couple days had passed and MC had not woken up, yet. But, she was alive... surrounded by gifts and 'get well soon' cards. Sebastian hadn't left her side and practically begged the professors to induce a punishment after she had woken. In this moment, he felt the need to be by her side.

The guilt was eating at him alive, already have gotten a lectured from the professors, Ominis, Natty, Poppy, Imelda - Hell, even Lucan was scolding him, adding the point that his club is ruined because of his actions. He couldn't stop thinking about what she said before she knocked out.

She loved him...

That thought sent butterflies throughout his whole body. And Merlin, he wishes she'd wake so he could say it back a million times over between apologies. Loved... Did she still love him? That dawned on him. He gripped her hand tightly in his as the fear crept in - this could be the last chance he has to ever act of feelings rather than insecurities.

When did it all go so wrong? he wondered.

"I love you too," he whispered to her in the dark infirmary. "I've loved you since you beat me in that duel to be honest." He chuckled, dryly. "My new charge." He smiled fondly over the memory. "That day we fought that troll, I must admit I was a little jealous. I wanted to prove to you that I could be your... 'knight in shining armor' as awful as that sounds..." He frowned. "But, you didn't need me. You never needed me." He shook his head. "You are stronger than you know." Tears began to flood his eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you - I hurt you more times than I can count and - " He swallowed. "It will haunt me everyday pass death. Every time I close my eyes, it's a replay of what I did, a neverending nightmare where I see my reflection of who I've truly become. To the point i can't sleep or eat." He weeped. "Everyone was right. I don't know when to stop. And because of that I lose everyone around me... Maybe my uncle was right about me. Maybe I should just leave and never return." He raised her hand and gently kissed her knuckles. "As much as I'd miss Ominis, and Anne, and you - I'd probably be for the best... I'm just a disaster waiting to happen."

MC began to stir on the bed, her eyes fluttering open to meet his. "I did need you, you know," she whispered. "I needed you when it came to Ranrok, and when I lost Professor Fig - you were the only person I truly wanted to be there with me, but you weren't. And part of that is my fault... for so long - I just wanted you, it didn't matter what you had done, but I knew if I went to you my love for you would only grow and I knew that wasn't in the cards for us. You wanted so badly to save Anne, I knew I couldn't fit in there and it would've been selfish fo me to."

"I would've preferred you to be selfish rather than you shut me out."

"I never did such a thing! I tried talking to you but you'd never listen to me."

"Because i was angry - I was angry at where my life had become and who I was becoming and I knew if I opened my mouth I'd ruin everything between us."

"There was nothing between us!"

"I wanted there to be!"

"Well, I guess it didn't matter because look where we are now!"

He pulled his hand away to drag it over his face, using both hands to rub at his eyes. "What went so wrong between us?" he questioned, defeated.

They sat there in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable - but tensions were high. Thoughts coursing through both of their minds at a frantic, overwhelming pace.

MC closed her eyes to try and steady herself mentally. She sighed, "Sebastian I - "

"I want us to start over again, from the very beginning."

She looked rather surprised to hear him blurt out such a thought. "And what? Forget everything that's we've been through together?"

"No, but... we can at least try to move on." He sounded so hopeful. "At least give me a chance."

She laid back in her bed and observed him in silence. The way his eyes were practically pleading her to say yes, to give him relief of what she could tell had been weighing him down for the last two years.

"We'll get it right this time, I promise," he begged and reached out to grab her hand again. His dark circles became more prominent as they were glazed with tears. The moonlight seeping through the windows made him look like a crestfallen angel. "Please."

Her heart squeezed at the sound and sight. With hesitation she spoke, "My name is MC, I started in Hogwarts as a fifth year and crazily enough I can see traces of ancient magic and am known as the 'Hero of Hogwarts' because I defeated Ranrok and ultimately ended the Goblin War."

His smile left her breathless. Weak, yet so powerful. His shoulders lowered drastically with a shaky exhale. "That is a lot to take in... but I wouldn't mind listening to you talk for hours on hand if that's what if takes for you to tell me everything I missed."

"Quite the commitment you're willing to make..." she paused. "And your name is?"

He smiled a little wider. "Sebastian Sallow - and as a note - I am known for committing to something till the end. I don't easily give up."

She returned the smile. "Good to know."

"And to add onto that - I'd wait for you as long as the Earth spins until you are ready to accept me once again as who I once was."

She gave him a rather mocked look of suspicion. "You won't go changing on me, will you?"

He shook his head, hastily. "Never, this - what you see right here - this is what you're getting, nothing else."

She was crying along with him at this moment - but more in relief that she didn't have to carry the burden of her true feelings any long. And she knew - deep down - it would take time, step-by-step opening herself up to him as he would to her. But, she'll consider it yet another quest that she couldn't wait to finish, knowing it'll lead to the next part of their lives together. So, with a soft grin -

"How can I refuse?"

The end.

Should I make a part two - almost like an epilogue?

If you'd like to be part of my Sebastian Sallow taglist let me know!

| Requests Open |

[hwabang]

Break Up + Make Up - Yang Jungwon

Summary: You ended your relationship with Jungwon because HYBE told you to. After a lot of mutual heartbreak and some dangerous situations, you realize this was all a big stupid fucking misunderstanding

Genre: angst + fluff ending

Warnings: fem!reader, idol!reader x idol!jungwon, '03 reader, established relationship, breakup, cursing, arguing, dieting, fainting, starvation, mention of weight, bad eating habits, slight mentions of poor mental health, hospital, mention of sasaeng/crazy engenes lol, reader breaks jungwon's heart but temporarily!, one slight mention of reader not being korean, exes to lovers

Author’s Note: feeling angsty lol. i kinda wanna make "break up + make up" a series for the enhypen members i write for, let me know if you'd be interested!

Word Count: ~ 6k (oop)

NOTICE: (the names used for side characters are fake names, with the exception of the enhypen members. the fake names don't represent any real life characters.)

(gif not mine!)

You and Jungwon have been dating for 4 months now, but you two have been in love with each other for a while. The only thing that had stopped you from dating earlier is the fact that Jungwon's a year younger than you, and neither of you wanted to talk about the feelings until he became an adult in Korea.

Unfortunately, last month some pictures of you and Jungwon on a date were leaked, but your companies decided to go ahead and confirm the relationship since both ENHYPEN and your group were doing quite well right now. You were expecting the hate from crazy fans, but you weren't expecting as much support as you guys were getting. It was an overwhelming amount of love and you two couldn't be more happier.

People who didn't know you and Jungwon would say you two are moving too fast, but the ones who know you well know that you two have been head over heels in love with each other for so long. Sure, your relationship is very established and you two are really serious for a 4 month couple, but who cares? You and Jungwon are taking it at the pace that feels right, and since you two are fully committed to each other and love each other immensely, nothing wrong with moving "too fast".

Currently you were tidying up your dorm with the rest of your members. Today marks the first couple of days you guys get off, and some cleaning of the dorm was much needed right now so that was everyone's first task. After this you were prepared to spend the next 4 off days with your precious Wonnie.

"Hey Y/N," your bandmate Mijeong called out, walking back into the dorm. "Come here?"

You turned the sink off and patted your hands dry then walked into the living room. "Yeah what's up?"

"I just went to pick up our mail and you have a letter from HYBE."

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "HYBE? And it's addressed to me?"

"Yeah, look." She handed the letter to me while sorting through everything else.

"Huh that's weird.. I'll open it later. Anything else for me?"

"Uh.. no more letters, but the front desk said you have a package from (your/country) downstairs; maybe your parents sent you something."

You nodded relaying the information. "Great, I'll go pick it up later. Thanks Mijeong-ah."

You went back to washing and drying the dishes; your last task for today. Once you were done, you took the letter up to your room. Your roommate was doing the laundry so you had a couple minutes to yourself. You sat on your bed and sighed, opening the letter not thinking much of it. Oh how wrong you were.

"Y/N-ssi,

"Hello, this is HYBE Corporation.

We are sending you this letter to inform you that you must end your relationship with our artist, ENHYPEN's Jungwon, as soon as possible.

The relationship being out in the public has decreased ENHYPEN's popularity and put our artists' safety at risk. Furthermore, Jungwon-ssi seems to be losing his focus a lot more after your relationship started. You both have worked very hard to get where you are; we wouldn't want either of your careers being sabotaged because of this relationship.

We kindly request that you end your relationship with him without letting him know that we have asked you to do so. Once you have done so and Jungwon-ssi lets us know, HYBE will personally put out a statement confirming your breakup to the public.

We understand that this might be tough for you to do so. It is solely for the sake of both your group's and ENHYPEN's careers that you all worked so hard for. Idols don't date for this reason; it's quite hard to maintain personal and professional lives. If you start to receive backlash or dangerous threats for the breakup, HYBE Corporation will provide you and your members with top notch security.

Thank you for understanding and for your cooperation.

Best regards,

HYBE Corporation & ENHYPEN Team"

Hot tears were streaming down your face. HYBE wants you to breakup with Jungwon without letting him know they're the reason for the breakup? HYBE were the ones who coerced your company into agreeing to confirm the relationship!

So many things were going through your mind.

You didn't wanna do this; Jungwon would NEVER wanna do this.

However...

You knew ENHYPEN were in danger because of this. Not only did all the past idol-dating horror stories scare you, but you knew haters were sending trucks to HYBE asking them to remove Jungwon from the group.

You can't let Jungwon's dream be sacrificed.

So many things were going through your mind.

But you knew what had to be done.

-

After a text to Jungwon asking him if you could go over to his dorm tonight, you asked the rest of his members to give you and Jungwon the dorm to yourselves for about 30 minutes.

"Oh?" Heeseung exclaimed and you could practically hear the smirk on his face. "Y'all really can't get enough of each other huh?"

You couldn't even crack a fake smile at his joke so you just shook your head, as if he could see it. "No it's not that.. we have something to talk about."

Heeseung abruptly stopped laughing and it felt as if his entire demeanor changed"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"N-no not really.. I just really need to talk to him."

"Something happened. Talk to me Y/N-yah. What's wrong?"

You couldn't do anything but shake your head. "'Im fine Oppa, really. There's just a conversation Jungwon and I need to have that's why I need the dorm for a bit. Just half an hour.. please?" Without hesitation he agreed to get the members out of the dorm for a bit.

8pm finally came around and you rang the doorbell. The door was swung open and you were greeted by a beaming cheeky smile on his face. "Hi sweetie!"

Immediately he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck, hugging him tightly, knowing this would be the last one.

"H-hey Jungwon-ah.."

He moved to the side as you let yourself in, taking your shoes off and walking into the living room behind him. He looked so excited to see you here.. little did he know you were about to break his fragile heart.

"You know," he started. "I was fully prepared for our mini vacation to start tomorrow, but I'm so happy you came over tonight! Now we have even more time together!"

You gave him a sad smile. "Yeah about that.. that's what we need to talk about."

Still his smile didn't fully fade, he only tilted his head a little. "What happened? Sudden schedule? Plans with your other friends? We can still make a little time for each other baby, no worries."

"No it's not that.. you might wanna sit down."

Now Jungwon was worried, worrying that something really bad happened to you as you hadn't smiled once since you walked through the door. He sat down cautiously right next to you. "What happened princess?" he cooed and held your chin gently. "Who's got my baby so sad, hmm?"

His caring nature brought tears to your eyes but you quickly wiped them away. "Jungwon.. I.. I want to break up."

Time felt like it stopped for Jungwon. It felt as if everything stopped; his breath, his heart, even the trees that were blowing in the breezy wind out his window felt like they were frozen in place.

".. What are you saying baby?" he said slightly chuckling. "If this is one of your pranks again–"

"It's not. I'm serious.. I want to break up."

Jungwon's facial expression was unreadable. Was he angry? Sad? Disappointed? You don't know. But whatever it was, it was far from him being okay with this.

"Okay," Jungwon sighed. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked back into your eyes. "Let's talk this through. What happened that made you feel like you need to take such a drastic decision?"

Of course you had thought about what your reason was gonna be. You knew Jungwon well enough to know that whatever the reason was, he'd opt to working it out with you versus losing you. There was only one reason that would hurt him enough, reassure him enough that the breakup wasn't a haste decision; a reason that would make him not want to be near you at all which is what needed to happen.

"..I fell out of love with you."

If the feeling of time stopping was what Jungwon felt when you sprung the break up on him, he didn't know what the hell this feeling was now. "Y-you what?? You.. don't love me?"

You were never a good liar; your trembling voice usually gave away your true intentions. How could you blatantly lie to your lover? Just by simply nodding of course.

"Say something Y/N-yah." Jungwon's jaw slightly clenched, you could tell he was holding back an enormous amount of emotions. "Y-you can't just.. you can't just walk in here after 4 happy months and tell me you don't love me anymore!"

Jungwon's shouting never scared you. He couldn't yell at you the way he yelled at his members. You were too precious for him. "W-what do you want me to say, Jungwon.. f-feelings change."

"At least look at me while you break my heart."

You finally looked up at him to see him in a state that clearly meant he's about to break down; hands balled into fists, tears welled up in his beautiful boba eyes, jaw clenched yet somehow a slight pout formed on his lips, said lips quavering with sobs ready to come out.

"I'm looking at you.. d-do you believe me now, huh?" Your voice got a little loud at the end; you were getting defensive. You just wanted this to end. Not the relationship, but this conversation. You didn't want him to fight for you, ask you anymore questions. You just wanted to go home and cry your heart out.

Jungwon shook his head, the tears starting to fall and the quaver of his lips getting rougher. "N-no. I can't believe it. Not when we both waited so long! S-so long to finally be together.. Not when you tell me and show me every single day that you love me, and that you'll always be here for me. N-not when we've talked about a future together! Y/N, fuck, why are you doing this?!"

All his tears rushed out as soon as yours did. You whimpered, not being able to hold the sobs nor the intense eye contact with him. Your eyes went back to your lap where your fingers were playing with the hem of your shirt. "I-it's the truth Jungwon.. Like I said.. feelings change..."

"And yours changed in a couple hours?" he challenged as he stood up from the couch. "You were texting me about our plans tomorrow, telling me you can't wait to spend your days off with the love of your life!"

"I-I know what I said Yang Jungwon!" you screamed, also getting up from your seat. "You don't have to remind me."

His eyes widened. "Y-Yang Jungwon? When did you.. when do you ever call me by my full name?"

"What do you want me to call you, huh? I'm breaking up with you for God's sake!"

"So why are you crying, baby?! You're breaking up with me because you don't love me but you can'd do it without crying??" Jungwon stepped closer to you, grabbing one of your hands and intertwining your fingers. "Something's off.. w-what's going?"

You had to amp your acting skills up; you realized Jungwon knew you too well. "Nothing's going on! God, I'm just an emotional person and you know this! Just because I don't love you anymore doesn't mean I'm not gonna miss having a boyfriend! That's why I'm crying Jungwon; because of the memories and the romantic feelings not because of you!"

Jungwon winced, clearly hurt by your harsh words. You wanted to pull him into you, but you knew damn well you couldn't do it.

"What is it? What made you fall out of love with me? Is it th lack of time? The publicity? Are you still hung over about me being a year younger? God, it's not even that much.. I've been doing my best to not let you feel it, no?"

"Jungwon, it's none of that. I'm just.. n-not into you anymore."

"Bullshit," he spat. "I don't believe it for a second. I know you're fucking into me."

You shook your head, knowing this was going nowhere. Jungwon would fight for your relationship no matter what and you knew it damn well. "W-whatever Jungwon.. that's the only reason I came here. D-don't contact me anymore after this." You turned to walk towards the door. You had to get out of here before you cave in.

You didn't get far, Jungwon immediately grabbing your wrist and turning you towards him. His tears were coming in faster, dribbling down his neck into his pajama shirt. "Is someone making you do this?"

Jackpot.

You tried not to show it in your face; trying to use what you learned from the one and only acting session your company made you do. "What are you on about now."

"Is someone making you do this," he repeated. "Are you being threatened? Were you influenced?.. No fucking way.. tell me HYBE didn't do this..."

You pulled your hand out of his group. "How easy do you think I am, that I'll get influenced by someone else to breakup with you?"

Very, apparently.

"Get it through your head Yang Jungwon; I don't want to be with you anymore."

You turned around again to leave but were immediately pulled into a firm chest. Jungwon wrapped his arms around you as he weeped into your shoulder, his anger now turning into complete sadness.

"Y-Y/N-yah.." he whimpered. "Please.. d-don't leave me.. you were the missing piece in my life that I needed to be 100% happy! You're my lifeline.. h-how can I survive without my lifeline..."

He turned you around to face him, his hands on your shoulders. Your heart was already broken, but the pieces broke into even smaller, microscopic ones once you saw the kicked puppy look on his face with the biggest pout and the biggest teardrops. "I-it's okay if you don't love me anymore. I-I'll do my best to make you fall in love with me again. I'll do whatever I need to, just d-don't go..."

You shouldn't change yourself for anyone Jungwon-ah, you wanted to say.

You wanted to say a lot, mainly how this is all a lie; how you still love him.

But you couldn't.

You shouldn't.

You shoved his hands off of you. "Just let me go Goddammit!"

He was taken aback by your actions and voice volume. "Y/Y/N.."

You pinched the bride of your nose, letting out a sigh that sounded annoyed. "Yang Jungwon, do you hear me? We're. Done. I don't want to be with you anymore." You went to put your shoes on as he followed you with slumped shoulders, a mantra of your name falling from his lips. "Delete my number. This is goodbye Yang Jungwon."

"Y/N!"

You ran out of his dorm and straight into the van that was waiting for you. As the door closed, you let all the tears and sobs out. Your heart cried loudly, you screamed into your hands as you couldn't control your tears.

A tissue box was handed to you. "Here," a soft voice said. You took the tissue boxes without looking up at your manager. "You alright?"

You shook your head. "I can't be Leo... I-I love him so much! I hated telling him that I don't!"

Leo gave you a sad smile, sighing as he started the engine up. "I don't understand why HYBE would do this.. maybe Jungwon really was losing focus.. whatever it is, you'll be okay in the end Y/N."

You got back to the dorms and all of your members sensed something horribly wrong. They followed you to yours and Haydee's shared bedroom and forced the story out of you.

Mijeong smacked the desk she was sitting at out of anger. "Why would HYBE do that?! It makes no sense!"

Your youngest member Jaein was sitting right next to you, letting you cuddle into her as she rubbed your back. "It really doesn't... HYBE can't be that ruthless, right?"

You shrugged, sitting up from your position and looking straight at Haydee. "I know you're good friends with Jake. He'll definitely contact you. He can't know anything about HYBE contacting me, please."

Your prediction turned out right as an hour later, Haydee's phone rang with Jake's name displaying on the bright screen. She went downstairs onto the street to answer the call, not wanting to discuss it near you as it's a fresh wound. "Yeah Jake."

"Yoi~ what the hell is going on?"

'I don't know," Haydee sighed. "How much have you heard from Jungwon?"

"Well, he wouldn't talk at first. When we came back to the dorm he was on the floor in the living room, in like a fetus position and crying a fuck ton. It took some coaxing from Jay for him to tell us that Y/N came over and broke up with him because she doesn't love him anymore.. but that's not the full truth, is it Dee?"

Haydee was conflicted, but girl code first; she knew it well. "Look, I'm not gonna add more fuel to the burning fire.. It's not my place to discuss this with you but whatever Y/N did, she did for a reason."

"She still loves him though right? Just tell me that much so I can comfort him."

"I was told specifically not to tell you jack shit bro."

Jake groaned. "Fine fine.. whatever you or Y/N or anyone says I refuse to believe it. All of us refuse to believe it; no way Y/N's out of love with Jungwon. They're a match made in heaven!"

"And I agree Jake, but we can't really do much besides be there for them."

"Nah you're right.. Uh, Jungwon wanted me to tell you one thing though. It's actually a favor."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Don't let Y/N forget to take care of herself. We both know.. actually everyone knows, how bad this girl is at taking care of herself. So he just wanted me to tell you and the rest of the girls to take extra care of her."

"Yeah Jake, tell Jungwon and the rest of the guys we'll be keeping an eye out on her. Nothing will get passed us."

And that's where Haydee was wrong. It had been about 15 days since the breakup and so much had changed.

HYBE announced the breakup the same day and since then, the hate towards Jungwon had stopped completely. HYBE stated the reason for the breakup to be conflicting schedules, so neither party would get hate.

Another thing that changed though, was you. You had done a weight check-in today and your managers were shocked to see you lost 10 lbs in two weeks.

"I'm fine Leo," you repeated for the fifth time as he walked behind you into the convenience store. "Stop babying me, you're a year older than me."

"This is literally my job Y/N. Let me do my job."

You rolled your eyes and went to the snack section, picking up a pack of saltine crackers. "Then let me do mine. I'm an idol, I have to watch my weight."

Leo watched as you put your lunch down at the register– if he could even call it a lunch. A pack of saltine crackers, a cup of ice, a zero coke, and a bottle of water. He eyed you as he got the company card out of his wallet. "Shouldn't you grab like, I don't know, an actual lunch item?"

"This is enough," you protested. "I'm not even that hungry. Now stop before I start coming to the convenience store without you or any protection."

With a defeated sigh, Leo payed for your stuff and then grabbed the bag, walking out with you as you two headed back to the company. "How's this enough when all you had for breakfast was coffee? The whole point of me bringing you here was for you to get actual food Y/N.. we're all worried about you. "

"Don't be, I feel fine! I've been so energized since I stopped eating all the food I was eating before."

"That's your fatigue talking. You're gonna end up crashing, I'm telling you."

"I hear you and your worries, but I'm fine. Trust me." And with that, Leo let it go.

Big mistake.

The week after that was the Waterbomb Korea Festival. Because your group was performing, two months prior to the event Jungwon got tickets for all of ENHYPEN so they could come and support you guys. Jungwon was gonna return the tickets, not having the courage to face you, but all of the members insisted that it'd be quite fun to go and enjoy the festival as audience members and not artists for once. So they dragged Jungwon with them.

Jungwon had been so depressed. The past two weeks were a repeat of the same thing; he'd wake up, eat breakfast, go to the company, come back home, shower, eat dinner, talk to fans on We Verse, and then cry looking at videos and pictures he took of you till he'd fall asleep. His members didn't know what to do. They all discussed it and all 6 of them agreed that something about the breakup felt off; no way you fell out of love with Jungwon. 

Jay had even come to see you at your company once. You were pretty close with Jay, him slowly becoming sort of a therapist for you once you two got close as he was quite well versed in helping you through your mental health. He was thinking that maybe you let the voices in your head get to you; maybe you felt you were not enough for Jungwon (which is so far from the truth) hence you broke up with him. But you kept giving Jay the same reason you gave Jungwon until he gave up and left after giving you some sweet words of encouragement. After that Jake, Heeseung, even Jungwon's sister had messaged you but you left all of their notifications untouched.

Jungwon had snagged pretty good seats; not too far from the stage and smack in the middle so they could get a good view of everything. They enjoyed all the acts and performances, having a genuinely good time. All the members were relieved to see Jungwon displaying a sincere smile on his face for the first time in 3 weeks.

Then your group came out and Jungwon felt his heart break all over again. Yes, partly because the breakup and your relationship were fresh wounds. But the main reason he was having a hard time holding it together was because of the way you looked.

Although everything about your outfit, hair, and makeup was perfect that day, Jungwon couldn't help but notice you lost an immense amount of weight. You usually didn't wear revealing clothing as it was out of your comfort zone, but for a festival like Waterbomb, your stylist had to put you in a halter crop top and really short shorts. So Jungwon could see a lot of your skin, and you looked so beautiful.. yet so weak.

And everyone noticed it too. "Is it just me," Niki started, "or does Y/N Noona look sick?"

Jungwon nodded and sighed disappointedly. "Yeah, she looks like she lost a lot of weight–"

"No not that Hyung," Niki interrupted. "I mean, yeah she does look like she lost too much weight but. I mean actually sick. Her face is pale and she's not performing like she usually does... like.. she's gonna faint..."

Jungwon's head snapped to you at the younger's words, now really watching you. And Niki was right, you looked sickly. You were a great performer, so it was definitely odd for you to not be fully doing the moves. Jungwon also noticed you kept looking down a lot, and then noticed you were scrunching your eyes tightly closed while doing so. Were you really going to faint??

Jungwon's question didn't go unanswered for much longer as your group's 3rd song was coming to an end. Jaein had just started singing the very ending of the song when you plopped onto the stage floor, making her scream in the middle of singing. The music stopped, the crowd went from singing and laughing to gasping and murmuring concernedly. 

Jake's eyes widened. "What just happened?! Did Y/N just faint?!"

"I-I think so.." Heeseung responded.

The members (and everyone in the crowd) watched as staff rushed to you, gently picking you up and taking you back stage. Jungwon watched everything happen, completely frozen until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see one of your manager's Leo standing there with a concerned look, completely out of breath. 

"Hey man," Leo greeted. "We're gonna take Y/N to the hospital, the ambulance is on the way... D-do you wanna go with her?"

Jungwon frantically nodded. "Y-yeah Hyung, please." He said goodbye to his members and then followed Leo to where you are. They had you laid on the couch with your members surrounding you; some fanning you, some just watching you to see if you'd wake up, and Haydee was walking around looking stressed as she called your family.

Jungwon slowly made his way towards you. Your members nodded and made some room for him to kneel down in front of your unconscious figure. He caressed your cheek with the back of his fingers, trying to hold his tears back the best he could. "Wh-what did you do my baby.." he whimpered to himself.

"Jungwon," the eldest of your group called out to him.

He looked up to see her standing there with your backpack in her hand. "FeiFei Noona, what is it?"

"The ambulance is almost here, our managers arranged a space for us to change her into her regular clothes; these are pretty uncomfortable. Do you want to come with me to help change her?"

"Of course Noona, anything for her." He got up and carefully picked you up bridal style as he followed FeiFei to the empty dressing room. Jungwon couldn't help but notice that you had packed one of his shirts in your bag.

By the time you were dressed the ambulance came and you were put on a stretcher and taken in. Haydee, Leo, and your main manager went with you, along with Jungwon. The rest of your members were so distraught they knew they couldn't perform so they went home.

Once you were admitted to the hospital everyone was just sitting in the waiting room, waiting for any news on you. 

"Any update?" Jake asked as he called Haydee.

"No," she sighed. "The doctor and nurses have been in there with her for almost an hour.. no one has said anything."

"How's Jungwon?"

Haydee looked over at Jungwon, turning her back to him and walking a bit further away so he couldn't hear. "Not good. He's been crying and sobbing. Nothing we say is helping, although Leo is trying hard. I'll call you once we hear anything."

Not too long after, a nurse came out to the waiting room. "Are you all here for Y/N-ssi?" Everyone stood up nodding. "We just transferred her into a room. The doctor is there waiting, you all can follow me."

They walked in to the room you were in and Jungwon gasped. Your face gained some color back but you were hooked up to IVs and the sight made Jungwon wince.

The doctor greeted the four in the room with you. "Ms. Y/N is fine now," he started. "She was heavily malnourished and dehydrated. I checked her charts, and it seems she lost a dangerous amount of weight in the past month. What have her eating habits been like recently?"

And for once Jungwon couldn't answer.. he had no idea what you'd been up to the past three weeks so Leo answered. "Honestly she hasn't really been eating much.. We all try to force her but she doesn't listen. I don't know how she is at home.."

Haydee shook her head. "It's the same thing at home. She drinks juice and then goes about her day. We've gotten into so many arguments with her about this but like our manager said, she doesn't really listen."

Jungwon teared up again hearing this information and looked up to the doctor with broken eyes. "W-when will she wake up?"

"Hopefully soon," the doctor said. "We're administering saline, medicines, and some nutritional vitamins to her through IV so she should wake up soon. I'll leave you all with her for some time."

"Haydee," your main manager called out. "We gotta get you back to the dorm.. I'm sorry but you guys still have to continue with your schedules and you have a fan meet tomorrow morning."

Haydee nodded defeated. "Okay.. let's go then."

Your main manager nodded then turned to Leo. "I've already talked to ENHYPEN's manager; Jungwon is allowed to stay as long as he'd like. You stay until she wakes up, and when Jungwon-ssi wants to go home take him. Call me if she wakes up."

Leo nodded as Haydee and his boss left the room. "Yes Hyung." Once they were gone he came up to Jungwon who was now sat by your bed, playing with the hand that wasn't hooked to machines. He put an encouraging hand on Jungwon's shoulder. "You okay?"

He sniffled and nodded. "I just.. I don't know what to feel.. I-I'm so mad at her but m-myself too..."

"Yeah I get it man.. I know your manager gave the okay for you to stay here as long as you want but my advice? Don't stay too long. Maybe it's selfish of me to say it but I don't want HYBE coming at Y/N again."

Jungwon slowly turned his head to look at Leo with disbelief written all over his face. "What do you mean Hyung.. what do you mean HYBE will come for her again."

Leo sighed, realizing he fucked up. "She'll kill me for telling you, but here." Leo took his phone out and showed Jungwon a picture of the letter HYBE sent you.

The more Jungwon read it the more he seethed with anger. He stood up abruptly. "What? How could HYBE do this?!"

Leo shrugged. "We were confused too, since HYBE were the ones who wanted to confirm your relationship in the first place. Don't be mad at Y/N; understand she did this to save your career."

"Why would I be mad at her?" he shook his head and turned to look at your unconscious figure. He caressed your cheek as a pout formed on his lips. "My baby.. I knew you still loved me.. but you put yourself through so much just for me.." He kissed your forehead before handing Leo his phone back. "I'll be back Hyung.. I've got a phone call to make. Send me that picture please."

Jungwon stepped out of the room to call his manager, accusing him of ruining his relationship but to his surprise, he was also shocked to hear the real reason why you broke up with him. Jungwon then sent the picture to his manager who immediately contacted his higher-ups at HYBE. "I'll call you back Jungwon-ah," he said before hanging up.

Jungwon paced around in front of the hospital room, biting his lips as a way to keep his anger at bay. HYBE did this without telling his manager, without telling him, and for what? And out of nowhere? None of it made sense. As soon as his manager called back Jungwon immediately picked up. "Hyung what did you find out."

"Jungwon.. that letter wasn't sent by HYBE."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What? What do you mean? The address, the logo, it's even signed by HYBE!"

"Jungwon look closely at the picture.. the 'H' in the logo is tilted."

Jungwon took the phone off his ear to zoom in on the picture and sure enough, his manager was right. He put the phone back to his ear. "Hyung, I'm so confused. You're right but what does this mean?"

"Someone sent that letter to Y/N pretending to be HYBE to sabotage your relationship"

Jungwon's eyes widened. "What? Who would do such a thing?"

"My guess is a crazy fan? Sasaeng? I'm not sure but HYBE is working on it as we speak. We'll get to the bottom of this. You stay with Y/N and her manager and do not leave the hospital alone. We don't know if anyone is trying to hurt you or Y/N."

Immediately Jungwon went back to your hospital room, relaying this new information to Leo who was equally shocked. The two couldn't do anything about it so they just sat around your hospital room waiting for you to wake up. Jungwon in the mean time was updating his members and his sister about what he had just found out.

Another three hours later, you had slowly opened your eyes. You were quite confused as you looked around to see you were in a hospital room, with machines hooked to you. In the car corner of the room you saw Leo and Jungwon sitting on the couch scrolling through their phones. You didn't know what was going on, so you mustered all the strength you had to call out Jungwon's name hoarsely.

Immediately he looked up and practically chucked his phone on the couch before sprinting over to you. "Y-Y/N! You're awake!" His face lit up with joy and relief as he sat down next to you, taking your free hand and kissing it. "Thank God!"

Leo walked over to you and smiled."How you doing kiddo?"

"I'm fine.. what happened? Weren't we performing today?"

Leo nodded. "You were yeah. Until you fainted on stage."

Your eyes widened. "W-what?! I fainted?"

"The doctor said you were heavily malnourished and dehydrated. I told you right? That you'd end up crashing? You didn't listen now look where we are." Leo shook his head in disappointment before ruffling your hair. "Glad you're awake though. I'm gonna go find the doctor so you guys can have some alone time.. you two really need to talk."

After Leo left you hesitantly looked at Jungwon. "Jungwon.."

He gave you a sad smile as he caressed your hand. "I'm glad you're awake."

You sighed. "I'm sorry Jungwon."

"For which part? The part where you didn't take care of yourself? Or the part where you lied to me and broke up with me because of HYBE?"

You widened your eyes. "H-how did you–"

"What were you thinking princess? Why would you tell me you don't love me? Did you want me to start hating you?"

You slowly nodded. "I-I did what I had to do Jungwon... your life was in risk, your members lives were at risk; your careers were at risk! You worked so hard to get here, I couldn't be selfish and take that from you."

"But you were selfish! You took yourself away from me!" he exclaimed. Jungwon wiped his tears before continuing. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I-I was told not to.."

Jungwon sighed, coming closer to you and he caressed your cheek. "Baby.. Leo Hyung showed me the letter so I contacted my manager who knew nothing of it. Then he talked to HYBE and.. they said they didn't send it."

Your heart stopped. "What? What do you mean?"

"So I spoke to my manager a little earlier.. one of my sasaengs sent that letter to you impersonating HYBE."

"Are you serious?!" you almost yelled. "I ended our relationship because of a sasaeng?!"

Jungwon sadly nodded. "Yeah baby.. But HYBE found her and she's having charges pressed against her for this whole mess. We don't know how she found your address so she's got that against her too."

You sighed taking in all of that information and then you suddenly started crying. You pulled Jungwon to you and wrapped your free arm around him. "I-I'm so sorry Jungwon!"

Your sobs brought tears to his eyes again and he too started crying as he gently hugged you back. "Shh.. it's okay.. you didn't do it on purpose.. you did it to save me and as much as I hate it, I'll always appreciate that baby.." He kissed your forehead before letting go and sitting next to your bed again. "Now let's talk about your health.. why did you do this Y/N-yah.."

You shrugged, not really knowing what to tell him. "I don't really know.. I just, didn't feel lie eating I guess."

He shook his head at your reasoning. "Doesn't matter. Eating is a basic human need.. even if you don't feel like eating you should eat something. And Leo Hyung told me about your "lunches"; you think saltines and juice are enough to fill you up for the day, hmm?" he lightly scolded.

"S-sorry Jungwon-ah.."

He sighed as he felt the tears coming back and he looked at you completely dejected. "Please baby.. promise me you'll never do this again.. Please, just eat.."

You felt so bad for everything you put Jungwon through in the past couple weeks, your heart was breaking more than ever. "Jungwonnie," you cooed. "Come here."

Immediately he caught your drift and stood up to lean over your body and kiss you. You two passionately kissed for a couple seconds before he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. "Be my girlfriend again Y/N," he sniffed. "Please... be mine forever."

You nodded and pecked his lips shortly. "I love you Jungwon."

Jungwon sighed, missing your voice telling him that. "I know, I know my baby.. and I love you too."

[callsign-dexter]

My Daughter, My Heart Pt. 1

Summary: Jake gets his papers and instead of talking it out with his long-term girlfriend he does something that is beyond repairable.

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Ex-Girlfriend (OC: Elizabeth Taylor), Jake Seresin x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, heartbreak

Masterlist

My Daughter, My Heart

Prolog Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

The alarm on Jake's phone is what woke him up. He was quick to wake up and turn it off and when he did so he looked over at his girlfriend of 5 years and smiled at her sleeping form. He loved her he really did but the thought of him getting deployed and him having to break her heart when he didn't come back broke him even though he didn't let anyone see it. Breaking out of his thoughts he slowly got up and looked at the time and the clock read 5:30 AM he sighed and got up and started getting ready for the day.

Once a shower was done and everything to do in the bathroom was done he was heading to the kitchen. Jake started the coffee to get it going for both him and Elizabeth as the coffee was going he went outside to the mailbox. Most of the time he would get in a morning run but decided against it he could do it after work. As he was walking down the driveway their neighbor Mrs. Allen was out walking her dog. "Hi, Jake!" She said excitedly and Jake smiled.

"Hello, Mrs. Allen. Early start of your day I see." He said as he was opening the mailbox and grabbing the mail.

"Yes! I'm going to be out for most of the day and need to get the energy going." She said and he smiled and nodded. Jake was dressed in his Navy ABUs. He would get changed into his flight suit once he got there.

"I understand that. Well, it's been nice talking to you!" Jake said as he waved to her with the mail in his hand.

"You too, Jake! I'll see you around." She said and he smiled and nodded and headed up the house. When he got in there he heard the shower running and he smiled because that meant that Elizabeth was up and getting ready for the day.

As Jake was looking through the mail he found nothing too exciting than one piece stuck out to him it was labeled with the Navy's official stamp and his name sprawled across it. He put down the rest of the mail and opened that piece. They were sending him on a 1-year long deployment and his heart dropped to his stomach when he saw that they were sending him Saturday night, tomorrow night. He truly did love deployments but that also meant a chance of him not coming home. When he heard the patter of feet coming down the stairs he quickly put the letter away with his work stuff and smiled when Elizabeth came into the room. "Good morning." She said with a smile and he smiled back.

"Good morning." He replied and kissed her as she walked up to him. He handed her coffee and she began going through the mail. Seeing nothing interesting or immediate attention she pushed it to the side. "I'm gonna be late tonight." Jake said to her and she nodded.

"That's ok. I'm gonna have to stay late to finish up some grading and paperwork." Elizabeth said and he nodded. He had already made up his mind that on his lunch break, he would come and get his stuff. He didn't have much there considering that it was her place and he had already bought a place before he met her so it was still considered very new and he was letting Javy, his friend from The Naval Academy, stay there. He was in his mind thinking of everything and wasn't paying attention until she had said his name. "Jake?" Elizabeth asked and he looked up.

"Hmmm?" He asked

"Did you hear me?" She asked and he shook his head.

"No sorry I have a lot of my mind." He said and she frowned.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked and he shook his head.

"No. I got to get to work. I love you." He said and kissed her hard and extra long then he headed out the door, leaving a confused Elizabeth. He didn't even give her a chance to say she loved him back.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Jake got to the base in record time and through the gate without any trouble. As soon as he parked another car pulled in next to him and he recognized it as Javy’s. They both got out at the same time. "Did you get the orders?" Javy and Jake nodded.

"Yup. Sure did. You?" Jake said as they walked into their building and to the office that they shared.

"Yea I did, I leave the say after you. Have you told Elizabeth?" Javy asked. He was fond of Elizabeth and considered her a friend.

"No. I don't want to. I'm thinking of ending things with her." Jake said and it pained him to say that.

"What? Why?" Javy asked looking at him shocked.

"This is the longest deployment I'm going to be on. All the others were short. I don't want to break her heart when I don't come home. So I'm gonna go at lunch and move out and back to the house." He said and finally looked up at his friend who was looking at him like he had two heads.

"Jake. That's absurd, even for you." Javy said and Jake hung his head.

"I know but it has to be done. I don't have much there." He said and Javy sighed and gave up trying to convince him to do the opposite of what he's going to do.

"Fine. I'm not happy with your decision but I'll help you." Javy said and Jake nodded.

"We'll go at lunch." Jake said

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

After the weird goodbye, Elizabeth got ready for the day. Jake's behavior still running through her mind. She didn't know what to think about it and tried not to think about it. She and Jake had met through Javy and it was an instant connection. As she was putting her makeup on for the day so made a mental note to text Jake. As she was walking down the steps she decided to go ahead and text him.

I don't know what happened this morning but I love you and hope you have a good day.

She hit send and waited for a reply, which usually happened fairly soon after the first text. As she waited so got nothing and that made her heart drop. She decided to push it behind her and get along with her day. Elizabeth worked on base at the school. She was the middle school history teacher and she loved her job.

When she was done inside she headed out to her car and started her journey to the base. She wasn't in the Navy but a civilian working on a Navy base. When she got to the school she parked and walked in. Soon her students would start piling in. She tried to call Jake hoping he wasn't up in the air. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed his number after 3 rings it went to voice-mail.

You've reached Jake Seresin. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Hey Jake, it's me. I'm not going to be able to do lunch today. I'm just not feeling all that great. I hope you have a good day and I love you.

Elizabeth frowned as she finished her message this was not like Jake. She didn't have to think long because a turning in her gut had her rushing out of her classroom and to a nearby bathroom. She barely made it into the stall before she was throwing up. This had been going on for about a week, she thought it was just a stomach bug that she had caught from her students so she let it go. She didn't tell Jake because she didn't want to burden him. When she was done throwing up she went back to her classroom just as soon as the students started to come in. She sighed and started her day.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

When lunchtime came around for Jake and Javy both men went and got into Jake’s truck and went to the house. Before they left the building Jake saw that he had some messages from Elizabeth but decided to ignore them. When he listened to the voice-mail he thought maybe what he was doing was out of line and he should back out, but those thoughts came back and he decided to move along with his plan. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Javy asked and Jake nodded.

"I'm sure." He said as they pulled out of the base and drove the short amount of time to the house. When they got there and parked in the driveway and headed inside everything was the same as they had left it. Jake sighed standing in the kitchen looking around but got a move on, if he wanted to do this he needed to do it now.

"You're 100% sure?" Javy asked one more time looking around the house that he had been to so many times.

"Yes, Javy. I'm 100% committed to this decision." Jake said with a slight annoyance even though he was thinking about having second thoughts.

"Ok man. Just making sure." Javy said as he followed Jake to the bedroom. Everything was still the same. Jake went to the closet and pulled out two duffle bags and sat them on the bed and began to put his belongings in them. It was silent as the two men worked with the occasional question from Javy about something.

All of the clothes and bathroom items were cleaned out and packed they headed to the front of the house. Jake had decided to leave the TV, couches, and most of the appliances there for her since he was going to be deployed and wouldn't need them. He grabbed his computer, charges, extra phone charges, and odds and ends that were lying around. "I think that's everything." Jake said while doing a look around one more time.

"I don't think this is right. She loves you, man." Javy said and Jake sighed and hung his head. He knew it was wrong but to him, it had to be done.

"I know. I just don't want to break her heart when I don't come home." Jake said and Javy nodded as they picked the stuff up and headed to Jake’s truck and put everything in the backseat. Jake had left his keys sitting on the counter along with the garage door remote. He still had time if he wanted to back out but he pushed those feelings behind and walked out the door for the last time.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

When the school had let out for the day Elizabeth stayed back and worked on some work like she would. She sighed and smiled a little to herself thankful it was Friday but also for the little child growing in her. During her lunch hour, she had run up to the store and bought a couple of pregnancy tests and took them when she got back to the school, and after waiting 5 minutes they both showed positive. She and Jake weren't actively trying but they sure weren't doing anything to avoid it.

When she finished up what she needed she packed her stuff up and headed to her car. She said her goodbyes to her friends and colleagues who had stayed late as well. She had been too busy to text or call Jake so she sent him a message. When she got her phone out she frowned at the lack of notifications.

Hey! Finally done for the day! I'm heading home! I can't wait to see you! I have some news!

She waited a good amount of time, more like the amount of time for her to get her stuff packed in her car before she looked at her phone again. Nothing. She was getting nervous and her stomach was in knots, she was worried.

All she could think about while driving home from work was that something bad happened to him. She loved him with all of her heart and would love to get married and have a family with him. She exited the base with ease and started her journey home. The time seemed to drag by especially since she wanted to get home.

When she got home his truck was not in the driveway and when she opened the garage it wasn't in there either. She felt like she could vomit right then and there. She turned off her car and headed inside.

When she got inside something felt off and when she noticed his phone charger missing from the counter she frowned. 'Maybe he came home at lunch to grab it', she thought which made her nerves ease up. As she was going through the house she was starting to get nervous again. Everything of his was mostly gone. She wasn't going to let it get to her just yet but when she got into the bedroom and saw the drawers open and the closet empty of his stuff tears welled up in her eyes. "This can't be happening." She said aloud to herself. She stood there in front of their now her bed and she felt sick, she rushed to the bathroom and vomited. When she was done she rinsed her mouth out and then noticed his toothbrush, cologne, and other bathroom necessities gone and that's when tears leaked out for the first time. "Fuck, this can't be happening. Not now!" She yelled out and ran to the living room to find extra shoes by the front door and his extra jackets gone. She stumbled to the couch sat down and called the only person she knew who would answer. Javy. It rang twice before he answered.

"Hello?" He answered while sitting in his and Jake's office while Jake was doing last-minute training and adjustments.

"Javy. Can you come over?" She asked

"Give me 10 minutes." Javy said and she sobbed out.

"Thank you." She said and they hung up.

She sat there for 10 minutes sobbing as she heard Javy’s car pull up. She rushed out of the house and crashed into his arms. "Everything ok?" He asked even though he knew what she had found.

"Everything of his is gone." She chocked out.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he ushered her inside.

"Everything that he owned." She said as they sat down on the couch "Nothing is here. He hasn't been answering my texts or calls. Do you think he found someone else?" She asked looking up at him with tear streaks down her face.

"No, I don't think he would do that. He loves you too much." Javy said bringing her in for a hug and silently cursing him out.

"I need him, Javy. I need him because I can't raise this baby on my own." She said and that shocked him into silence.

"Say that again." He said knowing he heard her correctly.

"I'm pregnant." She said looking up at him.

"Does he know?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No, I was gonna tell him tonight. I found out this afternoon. Please don’t tell him." She said and he brought her into a hug again.

"Everything is gonna be ok. I promise. I won't tell him." Javy said as he held his friend until her crying had turned to hiccups and her breath evened out. He held her there cursing Jake. He took his phone out and opened Jake's contact and hit text message.

I'm with Liz. You fucked up, man. Big time.

He hit send and got comfortable.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Jake had just gotten into the locker room and was changing when his phone went off. He grabbed his phone and saw a message from Javy and his heart dropped. He never wanted to hurt her just protect her. Maybe he took it too far.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@persesphonestears

@grandstrangerphantom

[nicolesainz]

You are in love (CS 55)

Carlos Sainz x f!reader Summary: Carlos being the sweetest human alive, confessing how much he loves you, whilst having a chat with Lando and revealing past secrets Warnings: only damn fluff (inspired by ‘in between’ by gracie abrams and obviously ‘love story’)

"Man, I think you two have been stuck" Lando points to Carlos's arms with an eye roll following.

"What are you talking about?" Carlos was confused as he didn't understand Lando's supposedly joke.

"From all the honey dripping between ya" He lets out an annoyed tongue click and sips some of his coffee.

Carlos looked at me, wanting to hold back laugh and ready to respond to his friend with a snarky comment.

"I regret introducing the two of you. Well, it's all my mothers fault, so she's to blame" the Mclaren driver complains, scrolling through his phone, taking pictures of us.

"Remind me to thank her actually. I owe her for sending me to you. If it hadn't been for me moving to London, this may not had happen" I cup Carlos's cheeks, giving him a soft kiss.

"Well, it's Lando's mum and fate too! Maybe, well, not actually. I am sure our paths were aligned, that is why we found each other" Carlos holds me tighter and closer to his body, now on top of his lap.

"Since when did you become all cheesy and shit man?" Lando spits out, earning a giggle from me.

"You forget I grew up with three women in the house. Romantic stories, songs, books and movies were a Saturday traditions" Carlos explains as I envision a younger version of himself, sitting on the couch with his sisters and mother, watching movies which had happy endings between the main characters and my heart instantly fills up with sweetness.

"I think it's also because you are a lot in Italy. England hadn't gotten you this soft and sweet" Lando is true. Whenever Carlos isn't working but is still in Italy, we visit Tuscany and Verona. Carlos secretly wrote a letter to Juliet and stuck it in between the other letters, written by romantically helpless women. He still thinks I didn't see him, but I couldn't have a better vision of it.

Never in my life, had a man with such pure heart and feelings following it. Carlos is one of earths wonders and maybe fate did bring us together.

"Will it make you happy if I told you that he took me on a date to Bernabéu, so we could watch the semi finals between Real Madrid and Chelsea?" I say to the English man, with a smirk on my face.

"Did you? Cheeky man! Of course Real would be his first love. Sorry, Y/N, don't take this the wrong way" Lando burst out a loud laugh, holding his stomach.

"Please don't remind me of this day. I should have taken you somewhere else. I regret it" Carlos lowers his head and I still cant stop smiling. I raise his head, giving him a small pout and another kiss on the lips.

"You regret it because Real lost. Not because of anything else. Plus, I was an unlucky charm. My englishness erupted that day"

"And it's not true. I love you more than Real" he caresses my back and leans his head on my shoulder. I know he does. He has proven this more times than I can possibly count.

I can't think of a person I love more than Carlos. He brought me back to daylight after a really difficult period of my life and a heartbreaking departure of my ex boyfriend.

He had given me anything I could possibly ask for. He is an angel on earth.

"This is true. When I first introduced you too, not two months had gone by when he started asking me 'Is Y/N ever gonna visit again?', 'Will she attend another Grand Prix'. I was going insane. That's why I kept sending you tickets, hoping you accepted them. He wouldn't shut up"

Carlos may seem like tough and smooth on the outside, but on the inside he is the biggest sweetheart one can ever meet. So genuinely nice and humble. My heart stopped when I heard this part of the story I didn't know.

"You're not innocent either. You kept looking at his insta, asking me if he had a girlfriend or seeing anyone. Oh the nights I spent trying to convince you otherwise and praising him at your eyes"

My cheeks redden when Lando reveals this secret in front of Carlos. I don't really mind now that we are together. If we kept on hiding our feelings from each other, I would have felt embarrassed.

"Oh cariño! I only had eyes for you, since the moment we met. You took my break away and had to get to you somehow. All I knew was that I was determined to achieve this goal" Carlos exclaims, earning a childish giggle and grin from me.

Oh boy, I felt like a teenager all over again. Like the first time we met. My heart was fluttering as if I was jumping non stop on a trampoline. His words swooned me away!

“Being with you is the best choice I’ve ever made. Smartest, wisest and worthy of everything! I love you forever Carlos!”

My head is leaning on his chest, listening to the fast beating of his heart. I put my hand on my chest and the other on his, feeling the synchronicity of the two hearts.

It’s the most beautiful sensation in the entire world! Pure magic.

“Mi amor, I could never imagine a life without you. You are my life and hope you continue to be for years and years to come”

We share one final kiss before being interrupted by Lando once more

“I definitely ain’t third wheeling here, at all people! Please don’t let my presence interrupt ya”

Me and Carlos giggle, being removed from his lap but still holding hands.

Holding on to each other for as long as possible. Not wanting to lose one another.

[mollywauk]

MIGHTY NEIN ANIMATED SERIES PREDICTIONS AND SCREAMING (I'm inconsolable right now bear with me)

First season will end when Molly does, so we'll get that whole arc and maybe the rescue with Caduceus as well? But perhaps a cliffhanger ending

Beau & Keg!

Yasha alone quests may be more fleshed out like with Pike?

KIRI

SHAKASTE?

The "he's my boy" Nott speech and the Caleb vs Everyone tension of the first arc? Delicious

I didn't think we would reach Essek in the first season because he makes his appearance later in the campaign BUT he was in the trailer so maybe he will be incorporated earlier?

MATTHEW MERCER WILL VOICE ESSEK (please please please)

Animated Jester Sendings! I want to see the looks on their faces when she asks if they're pooping

Also hidden dicks on every frame that jester is in? Not even her necessarily drawing them but like little easter eggs if you pause at the right moment

Actually I do think it would be Funny if Caleb and Beau are having their angsty conversations and there's just a little Jester in the background drawing a dick

Fjord's dreams in animation are going to be INSANE I can't wait

I feel bad already for whoever has to animate Molly's coat but I will be screaming, crying and throwing up when I see it for the first time

The opening tavern scene animated has been my one hope and wish since the moment I watched the first episode and I probably will cry when I see it again

Caleb mudwizard Widogast with his bread hands

Caleb unresolved trauma Widogast lighting up their enemies and then going catatonic

(are we going to get Percy style flashbacks of his time under Ickythong? 👀)

The forehead kiss Molly and Caleb that will later re-ermege in the forehead kiss Caleb and Essek (in a later season)

We're gonna get Dope Monk Shit ANIMATED I could cry, Beau is peak character design and Marisha is peak storytelling with her fight scenes, they're gonna be so good

NOTT THE BRAVE! NOTT THE BRAVE! NOTT THE BRAVE!

Nott trying to steal the reccomendation letter from Fjord and being caught by Molly is one of my favourite scenes from Cr2 I'm going feral

I just remembered that it'll likely end with Molly and now I'm scared, that's going to be heartbreaking when animated, I got choked up the first time I saw his coat swinging in the wind in the animated intro

I just have a lot of feelings about this announcement if you couldn't already tell

I'm being so normal about this

[godsmenusuperbowl]

One More Chance ~ *Seo Changbin*

Summary: You were supposed to meet Changbin in the garden and yet you didn't show. Did you not like him as much as he thought? Your absence puts our dear crown prince into a depression...

Pairing: Seo Changbin X G/N!Reader

Genre: Fluffyish Oneshot

Word Count: 1708

Warning: arguments, depression, political intrigue

Masterlist

Taglist: @samepoisonsamevine @mxnsxngie @maeleelee @imagine-a-life-like-this @kpop-will-kill-me

A/N: Part Two to One More Dance. I highly recommend reading that one first.

Changbin was depressed, to say the least. Nowadays, the crown prince could be found moping in either his room or his personal study. And it was beginning to worry his mother. That's why she sent her daughter to go talk to him and figure out why he was in such a depressive state.

"You have to come out sometime." His sister called out to him as she continued to patiently knock on his bedroom door.

"No, I really don't." His voice was thick and muffled thanks to the heavy door between them.

She scoffed and crossed her arms in front of her. "Open the door. I'm coming in."

There were sounds of movement before finally his bedroom door creaked open. His sister barged her way inside and stopped across the room from him, as he sat back down at his desk and placed his head on the table. She began tapping her foot, hoping the obnoxious noise would force him to talk, but he simply gave a dejected sigh.

"Are you going to talk or am I going to have to beat it out of you like when we were children?" She snapped.

She didn't miss Changbin's flinch, but he did sigh again. "They didn't see me at midnight."

"What are you talking about?"

He glanced over at his sister. "That person I was dancing with almost the whole night at last week's ball? I asked them to meet me in the garden at midnight. They didn't show. At first, I had no idea why and spent all my time trying to puzzle it all out. I then came to the conclusion that they simply didn't like me as much as I like them. And the rejection stings."

She gave her brother a bewildered look. "What in the name of- how could you have possibly come to that conclusion? It's like you said, you danced with them practically all night! They had to have cared about you if they would spend that much time with you! As for them not showing, there must be a reason, rather a more logical reason than that!"

"And what would that be?" He asked with an indignant sniff. 

"I don't know! But something better than that!"

Changbin simply sighed once more and turned away from his sister. "Regardless, I am not coming out of my room until I get over this rejection."

"And knowing you, that will take forever." His sister sighed, missing the annoyed look he sent her. "Look, she's Lord Minho's sibling, correct? Why don't we send a letter inviting them to tea and get this whole mess straightened out."

He shook his head. "No. I can't do that. They probably never want to see me again. I am not about to sit through tea with them, Minho, and mother, trying to puzzle out what went wrong. I don't want to deal with the heartbreak that will come with it."

She groaned. "Well we have to do something! Mother is worried about your well-being and, frankly, I am too. You need to get out of your room already! You and I both know that this is not how the future King should be behaving!"

"But I-" Before Changbin could finish his sentence, a sharp knock on his bedroom door rang out.

"Your Highnesses, the Queen wishes to see you both immediately! She says it's urgent!"

His sister shot him a worried look. "We should go. Mother would never say something was urgent unless she absolutely meant it."

Changbin nodded, his depressed look turning serious. After making sure he looked somewhat presentable, he followed his sister out of his room and to his mother's solar. She was standing right outside the door when she saw them, heaving a sigh of relief.

"Excellent, you're right on time." She then frowned at the state of her son. "Really, you couldn't have at least tried to make yourself look nice?"

"What are you talking about? What's going on?" He asked, a worried edge in his voice.

His mother didn't answer his questions. Instead, she fussed with his hair and with his clothes. "Well, I suppose it can't be helped. At least you don't look like a total lost cause. Now, you're going to go in there, sit, be polite, and not come out until this issue is resolved."

"What issue?"

But he never got an answer. Instead, he was pushed into his mother's solar and the door was locked behind him. His mother wished him good luck before he could hear her and his sister's footsteps retreat down the hall. When he turned to face whoever was in the room, his heart dropped.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" You flashed him a cheeky grin before gesturing to the seat in front of you. "Please, take a seat. We have much to discuss."

At first, Changbin stood there, a little lost as he tried to make sense of the situation. Then he crossed his arms like a petulant child and looked away. "I have nothing to talk to you about."

You tilted your head a little to the side. "Oh? Is that so? From the letter your mother sent me it sounded like you were absolutely beside yourself with worry and sadness. Which is most definitely not a good look for the future King."

"She said that?!" He couldn't stop the shock and shame from seeping into his voice before he buried his face in his hands. "I assure you, I am not beside myself with worry and sadness. My mother likes to make a big deal about nothing."

"I'm sure. She's like all mothers, worrying about her son and his well-being." You sigh. "Still, I owe you an explanation."

You can see his hesitation before he sits up straight and looks you in the eye, trying to appear like the regal prince he's supposed to be. He clears his throat before he speaks. "Go on. I'm listening."

Your lips tug upward in a small smile. "I'm sure you noticed I didn't meet you in the garden last week."

He pretended to think for a moment. "Now that you mention it, I suppose you are correct. Last week was such a whirlwind, I can't remember much of what happened."

You chuckle and shake your head. "Your bad lying aside, I had a good reason. Princess Eunsong is most definitely the jealous type. She and her lackeys ambushed me before I could go see you. They threatened to expose me if I went to see you and, because I care about you and your reputation, I left on my own accord."

Changbin blushed. "E-expose you?"

"Expose my secret." You shake your head as your smile grows. "And since it is just the two of us, I shall tell you my secret."

His eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. "Oh, no! Please don't feel like you need to divulge your personal information because you feel the need! I don't mind-"

"No, you deserve to know." You assure him. You then fix him with the most pleasant smile you can muster. "I am a convict. A fugitive to be more precise."

"I- pardon?"

"Don't worry, my adopted family knows." You begin to explain. "I was born on the streets and to survive, I would steal and sell on the black market. I was pretty good at it as well. Although we all make mistakes and mine landed me in jail for petty theft. It wasn't a heinous crime and I would've been out in a couple of years. However, because the Queen makes it a habit to pardon criminals once a year with her court, I was chosen to have my sentence reduced. It was then that my adopted mother met me and decided I was too young to be scrounging around the gutter for my next meal. She put me through schooling and training and I became the person I am today. And that's how I ended up being Lord Minho's adopted sibling. Now, how Princess Eunsong found this out is beyond me. She's not very intelligent. But as I said before, I care about you and the reputation of the royal family. I was not about to have you learn about my past at a royal ball in front of hundreds of strangers."

He was taken aback by your story. He couldn't imagine what you must have gone through and how much adversity you must have faced to get where you are today. He couldn't help but admire you even more than he already did.

"That's an impressive tale." He mumbled, unsure of what to say.

"I hope that by telling you all of this, you can stop wallowing in your self pity and you can return to the shining, lovely young man I met at the ball a week ago." You toss him a wink which makes him blush.

"I'm sure I will." He mutters.

"Good. Now, shall we finish tea with where we left off last week?" You ask as you pour him a cup of tea.

"May I ask one more question?"

"By all means, please do."

"You sound proud of the adversity you faced and how you fought to get to where you are today. Why not just have Princess Eunsong tell everyone? I would have understood." He asks, cocking his head to the side.

You smile and shake your head. "Besides wanting to protect your family, it also wasn't her news to tell. The truth will come out eventually, especially if we allow this courtship to continue, but I want to be the one to tell my story. Does that make sense?"

He nods and takes the cup of tea you hand to him. He then pauses, the cup half raised to his lips. "Wait, this courtship?"

You chuckle, obscuring your smile with your own teacup. "Of course. I wouldn't have asked to dance with you last week if I wasn't interested in you. And with how we danced all night, I'm confident you're interested in me as well."

With a bright blush and an even brighter smile, he replied, "Well, I would be lying if I said I wasn't. And I do so hate lying."

[trashbag-baby666]

Twin Dads Clegan AU :3

MB made by the lovely @austeenbootler as we bring you a little piece of something we’ve been creating!! (afab!androgynous!gale)

C/W:Mentions of miscarriages

MOTA Masterlist!

John and Gale struggled with fertility for years, the first few times were extra hard. Gale was living alone on an air force base while John was deployed. They were young and hadn’t even been married a full year.

Around week eight of Gales pregnancy and Johns first tour, Gale sends him a letter with the photos of the sonogram. theoretically, he could've told him over email or Skype. But it just didn't seem like something he could fathom saying out loud if this wasn't something John wanted.

Curt can attest to the actual tears John shed after tearing open the letter, he was so excited. He spent the next month blabbing about how excited he was to be a dad. He would blab in the fighter jets during missions about what he was going to name their kid. John literally talked about being a dad 24/7.

Then he got the heartbreaking email then call from Gale. He was at the hospital and he had miscarried.

Curt ends up emailing his partner Ken what’s going on and maybe to stop over.

Ken and Gale become instant friends after the day.

Unfortunately, John and Gale had six different miscarriages over the next eight years. Getting less and less excited and hopeful each time.

Then it happened after they stopped trying for awhile. Gale was pregnant and unsure if he even wanted to try and go through the pregnancy. He didn’t want to suffer the heartbreak of losing another one. But after lots of discussion with John and his doctors and therapist they decided to continue the pregnancy.

They were worried and scared their entire pregnancy. Every time Gale had unexplainable cramps or anything abnormal they would rush to the hospital. They would assure them everything was alright.

Then they found out they were having twins!!! They were boys and they were so very excited. They spent a full month thinking about a second name before landing on Andrew and Arlo.

They also went out and basically bought an additional second of everything…

They would sit in the nursery together a lot. Gale would sit in John’s lap in the chair. His long hair tied back and John’s got his arms around him. He’s rambling about how great of dads they’re going to be.

Gales pregnancy cravings were INTENSE but John was jumping up to get him whatever he wanted!! No matter how odd it is.

Strawberries, peanut butter, and Doritos…pickles and ice cream…spaghetti o’s…

John almost passed out while Gale was giving birth…the nurses literally had to get him juice and crackers. Gale was rolling his eyes and telling John to quit being dramatic. …He almost passed out again when they cut the umbilical cords.

The first week of course was rough, Gale was healing the boys weren’t sleeping. John was jumping up to take care of them at night and making Gale lay down.

After a couple weeks they’re more under control, Gale sits in the chair they got for the nursery. Gale breast feeds one while John holds the other. He leans against the footrest singing blue skies to them softly rocking them.

Arlo ends up having dark brown curls like John and Andrew has cute little blonde curls. Gale loves to sit and play with the boys curls.

Curt and Ken are the go to baby sitters, obviously. They literally live next door to them.

The first vacation they have after the twins are one is hard for them. Gale feels guilty leaving them but John keeps assuring him that the boys will be okay.

However, Curt and Ken do FaceTime Gale and John a couple times a day so they can see the boys.

They really do get to relax though, couple massages, and spa days, Gale really got the treatment he deserved.

[the-fiction-witch]

Mrs Dawkins P18 - P22

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Sweet + Flirty

Series: Mrs Dawkins

P1 - P5 P6-P10 P11-13 P14-17

I barely slept, I had been crying all night.

I didn't eat, I didn't want to.

Still in my dress from last night at the breakfast table,

My father noticed at breakfast but didn't speak about it, Miss Hardcastle could tell something was wrong but I didn't answer any of her questions.

After enough of showing my face I got up and went back to my room, as I left I heard my father quickly ask.

"What's going on with her?"

"I don't know sir..."

"Well, find out." He demanded,

And of course, she began to follow me all the way back to my bed.

Once I collapsed on my tear-stained pillows, she shut the door and locked it, she came to stand by my bed patiently.

"Something you wish to speak about Miss Everset?"

"No."

"Y/n?" Her tone softened,

I peeked out from my pillow, "Yes?"

"What has gotten you so upset today?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "Let me take a guess this has something to do with Dr Dawkins?"

I nodded

"I thought as much." She said, "What's happened?"

"You won't tell father?"

"No. Unless I need to..."

"Need to?"

"Only if I have to start measuring your waist?"

"No."

"Then I won't tell him."

I opened my drawer and handed her the note from last night, she took it and read it over,

"This from your ball?"

I nodded,

"So what happened last night?"

"He never came."

"He what!" She said but then stiffened herself, "He what?"

"He never came, I went out as soon as darkness fell last night."

"I remember you leaving yes,"

"And he never came, I waited for hours. He didn't show."

"I see, I can whisper this to your father and have him send a man to bootkick the doctor down a stairwell."

"No, it's fine I just want time alone."

"Understandable, I will tell your father your monthly sickness is causing trouble so he does not pry," she said going to my door, "Do try not to let your heart shatter over him Y/n,"

She left and shut my door but I couldn't help but be snarky, "Easy for you to say."

I spent the day in bed unable to really feel like existing.

I had read books that told tales of heartbreak and heard people talk of the pain, but I suppose a part of me never truly believed them. I didn't believe my heart's foolishness could cause me physical pain.

Every so often Miss Hardcastle would check on me or bring me food, often taking it away again on her next visit, but late in the afternoon, she came in with a small but sweet bundle of flowers in a grubby tankard.

I sat up and glared a little as she set the display on my table.

"What is that grimy thing?"

"It's a gift."

"A gift? From who?"

"It just arrived, one of your suitors had it sent to you."

"Oh." I sighed,

"Try to enjoy them." She said before she left the room,

I looked at the flowers some daises stuffed in a tankard, they were cheap, would likely die tomorrow and didn't really have much thought to them but still, I felt thankful someone sent them. I stood from my bed and went over to them checking the flowers, they were pretty I guess. I grabbed my jug from the side and went to give them some water in the hope they'd survive at least till tomorrow, I pulled the flowers a little to get space to pour in the water and I spotted a label around them.

So I plucked the label off and checked the name as I removed the flowers completely and began to pour in the water,

'To Miss Y/n Everset

From

Dr Jack Dawkins.'

I froze up stopping the flow of water, I felt so tearful to read his name, my heart ached so badly, and as I looked at the flowers I felt sick, to think he had done this to me and just tried to satisfy me with a bunch of cheap half dead daisies.

I Threw the flowers and tankard off my table letting them and the water scatter across my floor.

But as it did the tankard revealed a letter hidden up in the bottom soaked from the water I poured, I quickly grabbed it saving it from utter destruction and moved to my fire sitting it as close to the flame as I could before It would damage it further slowly drying the cream envelope as soon as it was dry I opened it having to hold it carefully, the page water damaged and some ink spreading any moment more It would have been unreadable.

'Dearest Y/n,

I beg your forgiveness, even if I do not deserve it.

I know you likely do not wish to hear from me much less forgive me, but I only pray you will at least read my words.

I cannot express the heaviness in my heart for what I have done, the pain I must have caused you.

Believe I had every intention of meeting you last night, I was looking forward to seeing you again, I was giddy with the thought of what we would do, what we would discuss, and even just seeing you again.

I am so sorry for not coming, I know I have likely broken your heart and believe me when I say it has broken my own.

But, circumstances prevented our meeting,

A man came in last night just before I left, he needed emergency surgery, the other surgeon was out, and the prof drunk beyond wakening.

By the time I was finished, it was too late, I did come to the bench but by then it was almost morning and I had missed you.

I know that is not the best reason to stand up a girl like you,

Just know truly, if I could have come I would have, and I would have cherished our time together.

I feel monstrous for causing you such pain, and I can barely stand the pain myself.

I do not expect you to forgive me, But I beg for one more chance.

Do you think you could be merciful enough to give it?

And even if not, could I at least say goodbye properly?

If you will grant me this, I swear on my life, I WILL be at our bench tonight.

From dusk to dawn if I must.

Meet me there and I promise you I will apologise a thousand times,

And if you forgive me, I swear to you, I will do anything you ask of me.

I pray I will see you tonight my darling y/n.

Yours affectionately

Jack X'

I was unsure, I had felt so betrayed by him.

I had already wallowed in sadness for so long, but part of me did want to see him even if I did not forgive him at least to hear him out.

If I don't go tonight, this will surely be over.

and if I do, there is at least hope.

I don't know if I can forgive him... and even if I did who's to say this won't happen again, who's to say I simply am a kiss and run, who's to say I am... something worse, simply one of many girls he tosses around like this but the least I can do is be merciful and fulfil his request. 

I brushed my hair and put on a dress, I felt nervous and afraid but I had hope even if it may have only been a fool's hope. I wanted so badly to believe him, I wanted to trust Jack, I wanted to see him even to just hear him explain himself. I snuck out the kitchen door and headed out of the garden I made sure not to be seen as I headed out and through the grass. I found the little bench and took myself a seat taking an orange in hand to toss it back and forth between my hands. I sat and counted the stars doing my best not to cry, to think I was here again waiting.

"Where are you, Jack?" I whispered my fear overflowing.

After a while, I took the orange set it on the grass gave it a gentle push to let it roll away through the garden grass.

"I don't know why I trusted you..." I sighed,

But I felt something hit my ankle, I looked down and saw the orange had rolled back to me hitting my ankle, for a moment I was confused but I looked in the direction I had rolled it.

And there he was.

Dressed the same as he was when I gave him my invitation, his brown trousers, white shirt, blue waistcoat, his purple coat and hat in hand.

"You came?" He smiled,

"So did you," I nodded,

"You look beautiful,"

"Thank you,"

"I uhh I wanna come closer I'm a little afraid you're mad at me." He chuckled tentatively taking a step or two closer, "Will you let me explain myself?"

"You May Dr Dawkins." I nodded,

He seemed upset but did his best to smile, "I am sorry, that's all I can say I'm sorry. I wanted to be here, more than anything. I'd been thinking about you all night, all day, you have no idea how much I was looking forward to seeing you." He said, "I went up to get changed and ready to come to see you then some guy comes in with a bloody hernia, Sneed was off god knows where and Prof was two bottles of whiskey deep into a desk nap. I didn't much have a choice, ended up being more complicated and by the time I got him sewn up... it was too late." He explained, "I did come, on a fool's hope you might still have been waiting for me, but you weren't. I don't blame you for giving up on me. I'd have done the same. I wanted to come to your window and apologise but - I don't know which is yours."

I chuckled a little,

"yeah, and I didn't exactly wanna guess wrong and get your Governess,"

"She's have pointed you in the right direction."

"So she is?"

"She seems to be," I nodded, "For now anyway."

"Great, I uhh I didn't wanna guess and get your father either I uhh I feel like that'd be a bit hard to explain."

Such an image tickled me of the thought of Jack climbing the windows to come to see me and finding himself at my father's window, I could Imagine my father's face, and Jack's.

"Ohh yes, Hello sir, what am I doing art your window? well uhhh no reason just on a stroll, you wouldn't happen to be able to direct me to your daughter would you?"

I couldn't hold back my laughter but neither could he, "I don't know, you're a doctor just say you're on your rounds."

"Ohh god no, some of these ladies in town here Doctors are making late-night bedroom window visits I'll never get any sleep." He laughed, "Do you think you can forgive me?"

"... I do."

He smiled and closed the gap between us taking my hands, "I was so afraid you'd never wanna speak to me again,"

"I very nearly didn't but the flowers were sweet."

"I'm glad you liked them, May I?"

"You may," I nodded,

He took the seat beside me set his hat on the side and slipped off his jacket, "I have missed you terribly."

"As have I," I smiled, "But..." I said as I took my hand from his.

"You're still upset with me?"

"Somewhat,"

"I will apologise a hundred times if that's what it'll take for you to forgive me."

"I do forgive you Jack, I just... I am struggling to have the trust you will not do it again."

"I wish I could swear I never will again, I wish I could." He said, "I think that brings us nicely to what I wanted to discuss last night, You and I. And the... The way we are to continue if that is even something you want?" He explained, "Is it something you want?"

"It is. Is it something you want?"

"More than anything." he nodded, "In that case there are things we both need to accept and understand."

"Yes, I'm sure there are." I nodded,

"The first is the hardest... if you want us to have a future together-"

"I do. I truly do."

"As do I, but if we are. The first thing you must come to understand is my job." He said, "I am a doctor. And Yes if we are to continue and our feelings grow, and one day our bud blooms into something more then Yes. You will be the most important thing in my world, but you must understand I am a doctor, I have a duty of care to all those in Port Victory. As much as you will be above all else you must understand I cannot turn my back on someone for your sake."

I nodded, "I wouldn't ask such a thing of you Jack,"

"You wouldn't?"

"No, Your work should be over me always."

"I don't want to have it be over you-"

"But it should, the greater good is that your work matters more than me. it would be selfish and cruel of me to keep you from your work, to take you away from it, even if you wish to spend time with me," I explained, "The life of a man, woman or child in your care should always trump my emotions."

"So you understand that?"

"I do, and I wouldn't have it any other way." I nodded, "Such is a choice one makes when one enters a relationship with a doctor."

"So we're entering a relationship now?" he flirtatiously smiled,

"I do hope so,"

"I hope so too." he nodded,

"I too have something I wish for you to understand."

"Of course,"

"I... I admit I have not always had this life, this level of society does still feel foreign to me,"

"You fear I will not be able to keep you?"

"No, no it's nothing like that. I... I know that this is not London, and I'm sure things are different given the change of circumstances, however. The rules of society apply here as much as they would in England, in India, in preu or even here in Port Victory," I explained, "Society has rules Jack, and I know already we have broken many of them, but if we are to go forward I would like us to do things properly, for the sake of my father, my family, That is something I need you to understand."

"You, want me to follow the society rules?"

"I do. And I hope you understand if this is to work, they must be followed. and if not then I do not wish us to."

He sat for a moment silently, he for a moment counted the stars, then chewed on his lip, before finally his eyes met mine again.

"I understand," he nodded, "If things continue they will continue properly, But I ask that you give me some leniency."

"Leniency?"

"I am a doctor, I spent a long time as a boy without social rules, and even longer on a ship in the navy where again the rules are... not as straightforward. I will do as you ask, I understand this is what you want but I ask you to be merciful and lenient at least early on, there are rules I do not know, will you be kind to me and let me off one or two for my ignorance?"

"I will allow that," I nodded, "That's only fair, but if I explain you a rule I do not expect to have it broken again."

"That's agreeable," he nodded.

"Good," I smiled, "So..."

"So..."

"I suppose now is the faithful question..."

"I suppose it is, May I ask you first?"

"You may,"

He smiled and looked into my eyes with a gentle smile, "Where do you see us? Where do you want us to go? Sweet Y/n, what future do you want for us?" He asked, "No matter your answer I will still tell you my own."

For a moment blushed, the heat rose in my cheeks, I felt outlandish but I wanted to be honest with him, there was no point in being untruthful.

"I see a life for us if you want one, I see us going forward, I want a future with you Jack,"

I held my breath waiting for his answer but it came swiftly,

"As do I." He smiled, "I want us to move forward, I do not want this to be a fling of a few evenings, I want us to be far more than that."

"You truly see a future for us?"

"I do, if you want one with me."

"I do if you want one with me too."

"I can't think of anything I want more." He smiled, "And as you know the social rules, where do we go from here?"

"Well, we can meet a few more times briefly and formally so long as my father is present, we may write to one another, and you may visit the house so long as my father agrees on it."

"And after that?"

"After that, we are to begin a courtship."

"A courtship?"

"Yes,"

"forgive me, I have never courted a lady before."

"No?"

"No. I am unfamiliar with the rules,"

"Well, you would of course have to ask my father for permission to court me, he would likely ask you a lot of questions,"

"I see, and if he was to allow us to court?"

"Then we would do so, we would court for a time, a few months at least, the shortest courtship my father will allow is six months."

"You've asked him?"

"I did, we spoke after my ball about men we agree upon,"

"Was... I on that list?"

"You were." I blushed,

"So your father is aware that you have an interest in me?"

"He is aware, I'm sure if you were to ask him for a meeting or even to discuss courtship it would not come as a surprise to him,"

"I see, and in this six months what are the rules?"

"We will be chaperoned,"

"Always?"

"Always." I nodded, "Our hands will not touch, we will not enter tight spaces together, our feelings and affairs will be our own other than in penmanship, we cannot travel alone, money must never cross our hands, we cannot give gifts, and of course, intimacy would be... utterly forbidden."

He gave me a look "Are you quite serious?"

"I am, such is the way of courting Dr Dawkins,"

"But... I've already kissed you."

"And that will have to remain our secret. Perhaps... we may exchange a kiss during our courtship secretly."

"You would permit me this? even if it breaks the rules?"

"I would, it seems foolish when we have already done so."

"And after six months of... courting, of being chaperoned and watched over without even a touch of your gloved hand. What then?"

"Engagement."

"Engagement?" he chuckled, "We'd get engaged?"

"We would, it is the outcome of courting, one should not court if you do not intend to engage, it is cruel to all involved."

"Understandable, don't want to waste your time." He nodded, "How would we go about our engagement?"

"Well, of course, you'd have to ask Father's permission, present me with a ring then you'd take over as my protector, we could go as we like unchaperoned, we could be alone together, we could be intimate privately as far as engagement allows."

"And how far does engagement allow?"

"So long as our wedding night is our first night together everything else would potentially be on the table."

"I see, and how long would our engagement last?"

"As long or as short as you wanted from then we would get married."

"Married, And I could make you Mrs Dawkins?"

"You could,"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, then that is how we shall move forward. I... don't know how long I will be able to stand being away from you, but I will write a letter to your father tonight to arrange our first formal meeting."

"I look forward to it." I blushed,

"As do I," He smiled, "and... perhaps if you, really couldn't wait to see me." he suggested playfully, "I am a doctor, and I'm sure if a young lady had a... tummy ache or headache I could perhaps pop by on my rounds?"

"That would be against the rules Jack,"

"I know, forgive me-"

"I think I'd allow it."

"Would you?"

"I think I would,"

He blushed a little, "You think you'd allow me... to deliver letters to you? myself? perhaps... via your balcony?"

I giggled, "Ohh?"

"I just don't want to risk our words being read by eyes over than our own."

"I think I could allow it."

"Do you think you'd allow me... to blow you kisses on your balcony?"

"I think I'd allow it if you permitted me to blow you kisses back Jack,"

"Humm" He chuckled, "Let me put it this way, you may want us to do things with the rules of society and etiquette and I am willing to go along with all of these rules for the sake of my feelings for you." he explained, "But, when it comes to me. I will not stop you, and I will allow my dearest darling to break as many rules as she pleases with me."

"You would?"

"I would, my... reputation, or lack thereof does not concern me. I do not fear gossip and talk, if my darling wants to do something with me, I will not stop her."

"Even if I was to... kiss you, or touch you, or -"

"Anything my little lady wants." He cooed,

"As much as I would adore indulging such a luxury, it's getting late we don't want to get caught again."

"Of course, get to bed don't let me keep you."

"Will I hear from you soon?"

"I will write and arrange a meeting with your father as soon as I get home, and I promise you will soon find me at your balcony with a letter for my dearest darling,"

"I look forward to it. Goodnight Jack."

"Goodnight Y/n."

I smiled and gave his lips a small kiss, his hand gently cupped my cheek as I kissed him, and he softly kissed me back. It felt as fantastic as our last kiss, and I never wanted it to end. But my fears took over and I moved back, I got up and adjusted my dress and he stood and fixed himself. "Sleep well Jack,"

"Sleep well yourself Y/n," he smiled kissing my hand before he began to leave the garden, and I headed back towards the house our slow steps letting our hands be slowly dragged apart, "Plesant dreams,"

"I will try, do try to have pleasant dreams yourself."

"I shall try, they will all be of you I am sure."

"As will mine," I blushed I blew him a kiss and he blew one back before we each went on our way.

I smiled listening to the bird's charming song, my head against my pillow, my arms around the cotton case stuffed with feathers, my nose nuzzling into the soft cotton, the sheets wrapped up around my legs, I felt so joyous, so peaceful, so utterly smitten with all things. I found myself in the half cling of sleep muttering as if my dreams and wakening were fighting for dominance over my body and mind, My sleep letting these words slip through. 

"Ummm... Ummmm... Jack... ummmm... Jack... ummmm... My sweet Jack..." I muttered between my sheets, I blushed when It truly occurred to me what I was doing and I couldn't hold back my giggles, "Ummm... How I long to be in your arms, I can only imagine how long we shall have to wait until you and I can truly lay in my bed together, locked in one another's arms, I imagine now until were engaged." I blushed my fingers stroking the cotton of the pillowcase imagining the folders and hems of his white cotton shirt, dreaming for a moment more than his chest lay below my head, "But, something tells me my sweet Jack will not be able to wait so long." I giggled,

But I forced myself up and got dressed for the day, I sang along with the sweet birds outside my balcony window, unable to stop myself from doing a little dance to the song. 

I heard the door open and Miss Hardcastle came in seeming surprised to see me this way, "My, You certainly have changed your tune." 

"Certainly, why would I need to be gloomy when there is such wonder in the world?" I smiled taking her hand and dancing with her as I sang, 

She was shocked and confused, moving away from my madness. "Well, this can surely only mean one of two things so either you lost your interest in Dr Dawkins quickly and have found another boy to ... fawn over." She said but I ignored her, "Or? am I to take it the day of you laying in bed as if the very world was ending was all for nought?"

I blushed but nodded,

"I see, so we are to take the last twenty-four hours as merely... what we hope shall be the first and last lovers' tiff." 

"I'm sure of it." I smiled finishing brushing my hair and scampering down the stairs with joy, I went to the dining room and hugged my father.

"Ohhh hello, my sweet. Someone has leapt out of bed today." He laughed,

"Of course, so much worth getting up for!"

"I'm glad," he chuckled,

I took my seat and thanked the maid for my breakfast, I ate away at it kicking my feet from excitement and struggling to even stay still in my chair which was noticed by everyone. After a while one of the maids brought my father the post, I didn't much worry over it enjoying the last of my toast as he flicked through it sorting into little piles on the table depending on the business they were regarding. 

"Humm?" He pondered to himself at one of them, he took the knife and opened the letter unfolding it and reading over the letter, He kept glancing up at me as he read it over and my curiosity grew as to why. 

"Yes, father?"

"We have received a letter."

"Oh?"

"From one of your potential suitors."

"Ohh... I see." I said trying to hide my excitement but also my concern. "Is he one from the list?"

"Yes, You're only yes." He said 

Miss Hardcastle and I shared a look, she knew, and she knew I knew, but we both had a silent agreement that some secrets are best kept from father. And my heart melted, that Jack had done as he said he would, he must have written it and sent it last night for it to arrive this morning. I wanted to know what was said but I was almost positive my father wouldn't tell me. 

"Oh... My only yes." I nodded, "What does it say pray tell?"

"He has written to express his official interest in you." He smiled, "You're first of such letters."

"Ohh my, he has?" I smiled pretending I didn't already know, 

"He has, very strongly in fact." He said, "He wishes to ask for a formal visit."

"He does, Ohhh..." I blushed trying to hide that I already knew, 

"Well... as he is your one yes? Shall we write him back?"

I did my best not to look at Egar as I answered "I think that would be lovely Father." 

"As do I, I shall write him back to arrange a formal visit. I take it the sooner the better?"

"I think so," I blushed,

"Alright, then again why waste the paper if we want sooner... I'll pop into the hospital today after my meeting." he smiled, "How does that sound?"

"I think that's perfect father." 

I smiled so happily as I got into my dress for the afternoon, I stood by my ottoman looking at my mirror's reflection as Miss Hardcastle helped me into my dress, my hair and make-up, all done already, even if nothing compared to my debutant ball but still impressive. I know she wanted to do more for what would be my first official date but I slowed her intentions down a little stumbling and reminding her that Jack and I had seen each other more than once already. Of course, tried to push her more towards my ideas as if that is what Jack would prefer. 

"Are you sure this needs to stay?" She asked as she finished with my little grey and blue dress and she looked at the red ribbon around my neck. 

"I'm sure." I nodded,

"Miss Everset I know you have-"

"Lisa. Please. It needs to stay."

"If this man... is, a man you see a future with," she said, "You should bare your soul to him, you shouldn't keep yourself concealed." 

"I thought this whole issue was to ensure I don't reveal so much," 

"You know what I mean." she rolled her eyes, "You should... let him see the scars of the girl he wants a life with."

"What in case they scare him away?" 

"No," she said coming to look over my shoulder to look at the reflection, "Because sometimes seeing the brush lines of a painting makes you appreciate it all the more,"

"I will... In time." I said, "But not yet." 

"Alright if you're sure Y/n," she said, "You ready?" 

"I am," I blushed Happily fixing my dress and I scampered down the stairs excitedly, I went to the lounge. My father waited with a sweet smile, Miss Hardcastle stood in the corner and I sat on the sofa by the window with some embroidery in hand as I patiently waited. 

I was doing my best to contain my excitement, as I waited impatiently. 

I heard the door and I did my best not to jump or look too excited, I saw the maid heading to the door, and I hid my blush as I looked to the floor waiting to see if it was who I was already assuming it was. 

"Dr Dawkins Has arrived Mr Everset." The maid spoke up,

I hid my blush and did my embroidery trying not to giggle, to think this was real. Jack and I were to see one another without worry of our secret being discovered, he was doing things properly and my father would see his intentions truly, 

"Ahh perfect send him in." my father nodded,

and I couldn't help but look up as I saw him, Jack walked into the lounge dressed much as he often was to work at the hospital but clearly a little more cleaned up, we met eyes and for a moment I wanted to cry I was so happy. 

"Dr Dawkins, Pleasure to see you again." My father smiled offering his hand,

"Ahh yes Sir, Pleasure to see you again too Mr Everset." Jack smiled taking his hand and giving it a firm gentlemanly shake 

"And I'd like to introduce you to Miss Hardcastle my daughter's governess." My father indicated over to her,

"Pleasure to meet you," He smiled taking her hand and kissing it politely, 

"And you doctor," she curtsied, 

"and of course, My daughter Miss Y/n Everset." My father smiled indicating to me, "Who I am sure you're familiar with," He chuckled,

I smiled and got to my feet and stood with my hand out excitedly, 

"Of course, I am delighted to see you again Miss Everset," He smiled kissing my hand,

"as am I Dr Dawkins," I smiled both of us trying to hide our blush given everything we had done and discussed in secret. 

"Now, shall we begin?" My father asked,

"yes of course," Jack nodded,

I smiled and took my seat again, and of course, Jack had to sit with my father, and we had to be a good decent space apart due to us not even being courting yet. 

My father and Jack discussed very basic things, the weather, the business of the town and other such things to discuss. I stayed quiet but I smiled whenever Jack and I caught eyes, until conversation turned to things I'd be interested. 

"So? Tell me about yourself, Dr Dawkins."

"Yes of course, Well I uhh... I uhhh I was born in London England,"

"That right?"

"Yes sir."

"Ahh whereabouts?"

"Uhh... Just uhhh south of Clarkenwell Green." 

"Oh, By Jove." he chuckled, "You know I spent quite a time in that area as a young man myself."

"Oh, what a coincidence,"

"In fact, My sweet Y/n was born only just down the road in the small maternity office." He laughed, "Perhaps, well It's ever so unlikely but perhaps once we may have crossed paths?"

"Uhh perhaps yes sir."

"My goodness... you know every day this world expands but then you see a moment such as this and are reminded really just how small it is." 

"Yes Sir, Very small indeed."

"Your family?"

"Uhh humble. I didn't know them for long."

"Ahh yes, can be a mean old world."

"It certainly can,"

"And then you trained I suppose, in London?"

"Ohh No actually at uhh at thirteen I joined the Navy under Captain Grim, learnt my medical skills. Hands on. In the field."

"A navy man?"

"Yes Sir, a surgeon Lieutenant,"

"My father was a Naval man, died many years ago. I had always intended to follow in his steps but uhh life brought me her own challenges shall we say, it certainly would bring me some joy to... keep the Naval in the family, or the family in the Navy as it were." He chuckled "Of course we are far off from that sort of talk."

"Yes sir."

"How long were you in the Navy?"

"Ten years, sir." 

"Ten years my goodness, and then I suppose your skills and history brought you to Port Victory?"

"Yes, The Hospital had just lost its surgeon when I arrived, so I very much took up the role."

"I see, I see." he nodded, "You Know Dawkins, I see you as very much a self-made man, that something you'd agree with?"

"Yes, certainly so sir." 

"Good man." My father said his hands together on his desk with a wide smile that wouldn't leave him, "I have always thought of myself as a self-made man. Men like us Dawkins, we crawl ourselves up with our nails to get where we want to be, No matter the cost, No matter the time, No matter the pain. I see a lot of myself In you Dawkins."

"Thank you Mr Everset, that uhh that is a compliment I shall treasure." 

"I must say, this has been a fantastic afternoon," He nodded, My father glanced at me questioningly and I gave him a smile, "If I may be so bold as to extend you an invitation to dinner on Thursday." 

"Ohh yes absolutely, I'd be delighted Mr Everset, I would be thrilled to attend."

"Excellent, I'm sure we'll talk more of this then."

"Is Uhh is that all sir?" Jack spoke up, 

"All?"

"I uhh I assumed we uhh we would perhaps discuss things?"

"We have discussed what we need to today, I'm sure we can discuss more at dinner on Thursday."

"Yes sir, forgive me I-"

"It's alright, I know my daughter is... Excited about you. I assume then you are of her too?"

Jack blushed, "I undoubtedly am sir," 

"Alright, we will discuss it on Thursday." He said, "Pleasure to spend the time with you Dr Dawkins, and I look forward to seeing you Thursday."

"As do I, thank you, sir." 

They shook hands and he kissed Miss Hardcastle's hand, and then he took my own with a smile,

"I look forward to seeing you again Miss Everset," 

"As do I Dr Dawkins," I smiled 

He kissed my hand and was led away with the maid and Miss Hardcastle. 

My father glared at me as soon as we were alone. "He's an... Interesting gent."

"That he is father,"

"After today, is he still at the top of your list?"

"Yes."

"Do you still have... ambitions for him to court you?"

"I do."

"Very well, he certainly has ambitions to court you, that much is obvious." he laughed, "We will... touch on the topic at dinner on Thursday and if he wants to court you he can come to me the shortest courtship I'll allow is six months."

"You'll really allow us to court after just my ball and two evenings?"

"Y/n. My sweet." he chuckled, "I'm not stupid." 

"Father?"

"I'm not stupid Y/n. You two are sweet on one another even a blind man can see as much. and I know... you two have spoken outside of these realms."

"I uhh I uhh-"

"Don't try to deny it," he chuckled,

"I won't. Did Miss-"

"No. Do you really think I wouldn't have taken notice, when I so clearly see my daughter is in love? and thus kept more tabs on her than I would have normally."

"I am sorry Father I-"

"Don't be sorry my sweet." He smiled, "I know how young love works." he smiled, "I will allow courtship as soon as he asks for it. It would be foolish to force you to be apart when you are merely to sneak away anyway." 

"Thank you, Daddy," I smiled rushing over to give him a tight hug, 

"It's alright My sweet. Love... it's a magical thing. You remember what I told you the day of your Ball?"

I smiled and repeated his words back, "When you see him, when you speak to him when you and him touch hands, there should be this... spark that makes you believe you're the only two people in the world"

"And even I can see, the moment he touches your hand, for both of you it's like you're all that exists?"

"It is the father."

"I knew so." he laughed, "But mostly because..." he said as he took my chin gently, "You Give Dr. Dawkins, The very look that I once saw in your mother when she used to look at me." He said getting choked up, "And the very look I see on him is that which I used to witness in the mirror whenever I looked, or even thought of your mother." He smiled, "If this is the man you want, I could not bare stand in your way." He said, "Go on now, up to bed my sweet."

"Thank you, Father, Goodnight."

"Goodnight," He smiled giving my head a kiss, 

I smiled as I did some drawings before bed, still in a frenzy from this afternoon. 

When I heard a stone click as it graced my balcony glass. 

I didn't want to believe it at first but I so hoped it to be true, I went to the window just as another stone found its way to the glass. Quickly I opened the door and scurried out onto my balcony a small ledge only just large enough to stand myself, beside the tall tree where the bird's nest sat. 

I looked across the darkness and saw a figure in the grass,

"Y/n! My darling!"

"Jack!" I hushed, "Quiet! My governess is merely two windows down and even father is not far, You cannot be so loud, we both know the trouble if someone found you here."

"I know, I'm sorry. But... I couldn't stay away." 

"Ohh My sweet Jack," I cooed sitting on the stone and making sure my nightie hid me away, "You did so well tonight, I am so proud of you."

"Thank you, I did my best to... Impress your father, I'm not so sure he liked me."

"He likes you very much, He wouldn't have invited you to dinner if he hadn't"

"I suppose not, I look forward to it so much."

"As do I."

"I assume he has spoken with you?"

"He has, at dinner things will be discussed and after that, if you come to him, our courtship will be permitted."

"Truly?"

"Truly. He seems rather taken with you."

"I'm glad I could impress him enough to make him think I am worthy of his daughter." 

"He thinks so, he says he sees a look in you that he saw in himself back when he saw my mother."

"I don't doubt it, I know I... struggle not to look at you, to hide my feelings for you. I hope if we are to court soon my feelings do not need to be such a secret."

"I hope so too." I smiled, 

"Will you... allow me to see you again? between tonight and Thursday dinner?"

"I will Jack," I blushed, "I admit... it was hard this evening to see you in my home and yet be forbidden to hold your hand."

"You have no idea, seeing you across the room. I could barely keep my eyes off you. Knowing all I wanted was to go over take you in my arms, kiss you and tell you how I adore you my darling."

"I hope soon, we will be able to do so."

"I'm sure we will, but until then I do not mind visiting my darling as she sits bathed in moonlight," He smiled, "Bright angel, for thou art, As glorious to this night, being o'er my head, As is a wingèd messenger of heaven. Unto the white upturnèd wondering eyes Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him"

I couldn't help my giggles, "Dr Dawkins? I do believe you are reciting that of Romeo and Juliet." 

"well, How could I not? when I find myself below your balcony?"

"I would not for the world they saw thee here."

"I have night's cloak to hide me from their eyes, And but thou love me, let them find me here. My life was better ended by their hate, Than death proroguèd, wanting of thy love."

"Ohh Jack," I blushed, "I did not imagine you as one to have read Shakespeare much less Romeo and Juliet. At least not to this familiarity." 

"You'd be surprised what you find time for on a ship for ten years." he chuckled, "You seem to know it fondly?"

"A young lady was always encouraged to read the plays,"

"I shall have to re-read, so I may dazzle you with words."

"You have no need to Jack, You're words already dazzle me, and cause me to blush beyond measure."

"You are far too sweet to me my darling," He smiled before he blew me a kiss, 

I blushed but blew him a kiss back, 

"I cannot explain how beautiful you look, sat on your balcony for me."

"I admit, there is a handsomeness to you in the darkness below my window."

"Ohh I'm more handsome in the dark am I?"

"You know what I meant Jack," I laughed,

"I do, I think it's something of us being alone. Or perhaps that we know we are doing something we shouldn't be."

"I do think that's true." I nodded, "But... it's getting late, you have work tomorrow I do not wish to keep you up longer into the night,"

He smiled a moment but came as close as he could almost whispering in the darkness, "O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

I giggled and acted up my best formal tone, "What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?"

"I think we both know the kind of satisfaction I would want, be it something we could do."

"Ohh My..." I blushed, "Doctor Dawkins..."

"But for tonight I will be satisfied with just one kiss." 

"...I think I can allow that," I blushed, 

He wasted no time, climbing the tree, I admit I worried for him but also was impressed by his agility, he climbed onto a branch a little too low to make the jump onto my balcony but he was close enough, so I held the stone and leant as far as I could before my feet would leave my balcony and he stretched up as much as he could which was enough for our lips to meet.

It felt like the sweetest kiss we had shared, when we pulled back I felt like I was flying.

"Whoa..." he gulped, "I don't know how but every kiss keeps getting better."

"I feel the same," I smiled, "Goodnight Jack,"

"Goodnight Y/n, sleep well my dearest. I will see you soon I promise."

"I will wait, for my Romeo to return, Impatiently" 

He chuckled, "I promise it will be as soon as I can, How could I ever leave my Juliet all alone too long" he smiled giving my lips a sweet kiss before he climbed down the tree and blew me a kiss, I blew him a kiss in return before he headed away disappearing into the night. 

[simplywghost]

He's just a ghost (part 1?)

After Johnny's death everything changed within you, around you and even in the world, nothing looked as colorful anymore, your family was not as happy and everyone felt the absence of your brother.

Time went on slowly, every week felt like hell because how do you really get over a loss? And people were nice, they gave you hugs and words of encouragement that were filled with nothing but good intentions, but you doubted you could ever recover from this, he was your family, your role model and the light of everyone who knew him.

On the other hand, your family and your home was not the only place where absence paid a visit, it also walked through the barracks and his captain's office, it hugged his teammates and although everyone was painfully used to losses... this one was different, it felt more heartbreaking.

Ghost hated to admit it but his mind wandered to memories of his mate, of that accent that he repudiated and now tried to reproduce in his mind, of the jokes that did make people laugh but he never allowed himself to laugh, which felt bad now. He was a nostalgic man, he lived in the past although he did not like to relive those moments.

And he felt alone, maybe that's why he was encouraged to open the letter you sent him under another name with fingers numb from the cold and assumed that the person writing had already sent letters to members of the army, his full name was written next to his unit. He ran his fingers all over the paper that had been crumpled a little from the stack of other letters, it was kind of cliché but it was the best way to communicate when there was no signal.

“I don't really understand how to start a letter, in fact I have never known, even though I have written so many, I didn't study the reason very well either.

Maybe I feel alone, I don't know, what I have known for quite some time is that I am sad and writing makes me forget a little how monotonous and gray my life has become.”

Ghost looked at the window for a moment, his hand reaching for the old wood of the cabin where they spent the night, thinking for a moment that the feelings of the person who wrote to him coincided with his own, his vision was lost for a moment in the darkness and the snow before returning to the letter.

“Is the army as depressing as they say? I can't come to grips with the reality that blood and death is a lifestyle that people choose by choice, it's selfish, your loved ones worry and fear for your well-being while you flee from the tranquility of a comfortable life."

Simon had to stop to chuckle. “I have no loved ones, darling.” He muttered as he shook his head slowly and settled on the floor as best as he could, his back resting against the wood that creaked with every movement and the musty smell was seeping through his mask into his lungs, how was it possible, with so much snow?

“What I want to say is that I don't understand how you can carry the weight of death on your shoulders without it driving you crazy, it's too much and I get exhausted just thinking about it.

Maybe I need help, for you to allow me to see with your eyes to see if I learn to cope with what I feel now.”

He bit his cheek, his eyes lowered to the end of the letter, where there was a mail address just in case he wanted to respond and the initial of a letter that he deduced was random.

Ghost let out a sigh, it was early morning and his eyes hurt, burning from the amount of time he had spent awake, his body was numb from the cold despite all the layers of clothing that covered his skin, however he managed to stand up and lazily look for a piece of paper that was in decent condition to answer.

It didn't matter who he was, what mattered was that he had an address to send the response to and that he too felt the loneliness eating away at his brain like a virus, he felt exhausted and hopeless, Soap's death had been so unexpected... well, like everyone else's, it was part of the job.

There was a piece of paper in one of the kitchen drawers and he grabbed  it along with a pen that looked about to give in, but trying was what he should do and he doubted it, he had not written a letter for a long time and although he did not consider himself a bitter old man, he never had much to say.

“The army is often not only an obligation but also an escape for many who do not find a home in their house, it is sinister at first, I am not going to lie. There are daily situations that make you wonder if you want to continue there and even if you feel like you are made of iron, many things change you forever.

Time gets you a little used to all the mess and you find yourself unable to feel the same level of terror that you felt as a newbie, which is worse because it often led me to wonder what was I becoming.

I could never spend too much time thinking about whether I feel alone or scared, it's probably what caught my attention the most about the job, it doesn't stop for anyone, it doesn't let us stop to think if it's what we want or not".

His hand hurt from writing so fast and he dropped the pen once he finished, it was a little short but he wasn't used to sending letters, he didn’t have a big family, he wasn't a lover, a son, a father, he wasn't anyone, just a ghost.

He walked slowly back to the window and collapsed on the floor, letting out a sigh and feeling the heaviness of fatigue, closing his eyes. He would sleep badly and wake up sore, but that was better than not sleeping.

The next morning they all left the cabin to a place a little fuller of civilization and he was able to send the letter by mail to the address you left him. He didn't know when it would arrive as it was never a quick process, but he found himself longing for the response. It was the only way he had to feel connected to the outside, so he limited himself to asking questions that might make you simply not answer anymore.

And just as Simon imagined, the letter was in your hands fifteen days later, you read it with tears in your eyes because although his personality and Johnny's were not even remotely similar, he reminded you of your brother, because the 141 was part of him and his essence.

That was precisely the reason why you were talking to him through letters, because you needed to feel connected to someone who was no longer there and your only connection right now was Simon, it was strange, not him but this whole situation, you had met Ghost only once and you felt intimidated, his cold gaze under that mask was so hard and emotionless, he really lived up to that nickname, he was like a ghost.

You sighed, sitting on the kitchen chairs and looking out the window, the weather outside was merciless, the snow was destroying everything in its path and you could no longer see the floor, that weather reminded you of your childhood, the layers of thick snow covered the cars and yet the discomfort of humidity was more present than the cold.

You got lost in thought with the letter in hand before looking at it again, praying that this mysterious man would return safely from deployment, you imagined that he, like you, had felt the loss, so now part of you and of your pain was with him.

[xxsp3llb0undxx]

Blast from the past

Tommy Miller x Lost Lover!Reader [5.2k]

Summary: Tommy and reader were together way before the apocalypse, they were high-school sweethearts. When the cordyceps had begun to spread through the world, Y/n was on her way back to Texas after being gone for a few years, only to face the hard reality of the world turning upside down. Never knowing if Tommy ever came home or even looked for her.

WARNING: GORE ,, BLOOD ,, INFECTED ,, LOSS ,, MENTIONS OF DEATH ,, HEARTBREAK ,, SWEARING ,, PANIC ATTACK ,, MAJOR FLUFF

A/N - Listened to my 60s-70s playlist while writing this, highly recommend doing that when you're writing something set around an apocalyptic event, for some reason the music always pairs well with dystopian fics ??

MASTERLIST TLOU

Tommy, Joel and Y/n had all grown up together, went to the same schools and even lived a couple houses away from each other. Once Y/n and Tommy had hit high-school, they started to change; growing more mature. They were in sophomore year when Tommy had found the courage to ask Y/n to be his, he knew she was the one for him but the fear of never being enough always stopped him from telling her but then he did and it was the best decision Tommy ever made. Their relationship was the best it could be at their age, until Tommy left for the Army once they had finished high-school.

Y/n was alone for awhile, Joel checked up on her from time to time but he couldn't do it as often as he was a new dad and all that. Y/n had left Texas when Sarah had turned 4, two years after Tommy had been drafted, she thought it was for the best to leave this life behind and start anew. So off she went to Kansas City, she put herself through college, juggling 2 jobs just to keep herself afloat. Joel would send her pictures of Sarah every month, sharing the memories of their father-daughter bonding, what hurt Y/n the most was - there was no mention of Tommy in the couple years of her moving to another state, it was like he vanished. She wondered if he was doing well, if he had found someone who made him happy, if he ever thought of her.

It had been 12 years since Y/n had seen Tommy, no letters from him or even a fucking call. She tried to push away every memory she had of him, every joke he told her, every kiss they had shared. She wanted to forget about him because if she didn't, she would lose herself completely and that wasn't an option. Everyday was the same - wake up, shower, eat, work, sleep and repeat. It was infuriatingly boring. Y/n missed the light in her life, the enjoyment. So she went back home to Texas, maybe visiting Joel and Sarah would satisfy the loneliness following her around. She had packed her bags and put them in the trunk, it was around 12 in the afternoon when she headed off to Texas. When she had reached the state border checkpoint into Texas, it was blocked off by military trucks; the soldiers shouted out to those trying to cross - "Please get back in your vehicles and turn around, it is not safe here."

It all happened in a instant, the sky looked as if it were ablaze. Cars and trucks turned over, half blown up, smoke coming out of every crevice. There was chaos everywhere, the roads were jam-packed with abandoned cars, infected ripping apart anything with a pulse. Screams and cries all around, the noise making everything more nightmarish. The streetlights flickered, as if they were sending a message through Morse code - a plea for help. The streets of downtown Texas were dark, there was no one left for the cordyceps to infect; they had either ran off and tried to find shelter from this never-ending doom or they had met the same fate as those sprawled on the floor, lying in pools of their own blood and guts.

Y/n had finally made her way to the Miller house, the front door slightly ajar; something was terribly wrong. She had her way up the steps and walked into the dark home, it was eerily quiet as she walked around trying to find anything to help her find Joel and Sarah. Y/n had went to the kitchen and looked around for something to drink, she was dehydrated and probably suffering the effects of sleep deprivation, she finally found bottled water and stuffed them into a bag from beside the front door. Y/n put as much food and water in the bag as she could carry, picking it up and sliding it on to her back to carry. She picked up one of the kitchen knives that had fallen on the floor, hoping it'll protect her enough to get out of this fucked up place. A picture on the fridge, held up by a magnet, caught Y/n's eye; it was Sarah and Joel, they were smiling wide, eyes sparkling in the sun. She took the picture and folded it up, putting it into the front pocket of her jeans. Then she left, going somewhere she didn't know.

19 years later, June 15th 2023 - Omaha, Nebraska

It had been 19 years, 9 months and 11 days since the outbreak - not like anyone was keeping count though. The clocks had stopped, sewer systems barely working; even in the QZ's. The world had given up, let the infection win the war. Buildings now covered in vines and leaves, mother nature coming back to claim what was rightfully hers. Y/n had left the QZ in Lincoln about a year ago, sick of shovelling the ashes of those unfortunate enough to become subjected to the cordyceps. Omaha wasn't great, it was mostly populated by clickers and runners but it was big enough to keep distance from their colonies. Y/n still had her fair share of run ins with a group of clickers a few times, barely making it out alive.

The older woman had now set up camp in an abandoned subway station, the only place the infected never entered; though she could never understand why. It was dark when Y/n woke up after scavenging the surrounding areas, around 3am or at least she thought it was but no one could ever truly be sure anymore. The sound of rain hitting the steps of the subway station filled the air, it hadn't rained in what felt like years. Taking the opportunity to get more water, Y/n placed empty cans, that had been cleaned out, and bottles from her previous water, out to collect as much of the rain water possible. She had sat on the cold tiled floor for an hour or so before she heard a noise - footsteps. She could decipher two separate pairs but she wasn't entirely sure, all Y/n knew was they were coming straight for her.

With her back against the wall of one of the stone columns, gun drawn and held tightly in her hands. She was on high alert, trying to stay encased in the shadows to give her the upper hand. Once the two people had come down the steps and into view, she noticed it was a man and a younger girl, probably his daughter. The girl walked over to Y/n's sleeping area, rooting through her things; taking what was needed. The sound of a trigger being pulled ricocheted off the walls of the station, drawing the attention of the two strangers. Y/n crouched, moving along the tiled floor keeping distance between her and the two intruders. "Put my shit down or I swear, I will shoot you both and leave you as chow for the clickers." The threat made the girl put down what she had taken, backing away from Y/n's stash.

"Stop hiding in the shadows, if you wanted to kill us you would've done it already." The sound of a rough voice called out, he had an accent of some sort but Y/n couldn't put her finger on it. With her gun held tightly in her hands, she slowly walked out from where she had been hiding, aiming the barrel at the two people in front of her. The older male had deep brown eyes, his brown hair had flecks of grey running through it, same as his beard. Y/n thought he looked familiar, like she had known him in a past life. The girl, who was close to his side, had long brown hair pulled into a ponytail, brown eyes that held so much fear. She couldn't have been more than 15. The salt and pepper haired man wearily stepped forward, his hands in front of him in an attempt to calm the situation and not get himself shot.

"Hey. Hey, aim at me. She's just a kid, point the gun at me." Y/n diverted her attention from the young girl, now completely focused on the man in front of her. Half of his face hidden behind a shadow from his flashlight reflecting off one of the walls, casting dark shapes around the room. She noticed a small scar on the side of his face, grazing across his temple. His skin was tanned, slight wrinkles adorned his face. Y/n was in a trance, unable to process being slammed to the floor by the older male, her gun now being pointed at her head. She was scared but she knew better than to let it show, her eyes narrowed at the man above her; the more she looked at him the more he resembled someone she once loved. Tommy fucking Miller. But he was gone, and she knew it wasn't him but he looked so much like the man threatening to blow her head off.

The two intruders had tied Y/n's hands behind one of the stations columns, her gun now in the lap of the man who pinned her to the floor not to long ago. The young girl kept sneaking small glances at Y/n, her dark brown eyes wide with distrust. "Can you get your kid to stop staring at me, it's fucking creepy." Her voice came out hoarse, the man looked her way debating whether to acknowledge her or not. "She's not my kid. And Ellie leave the goddamn woman alone, you don't need to stare." His accent was becoming more noticeable, he had a southern drawl.

Y/n's eyes looked between the pair, trying to figure out why such a young kid would be with some man that wasn't related to her in anyway. Before she could voice her concern, Ellie started rummaging through her bag, pulling everything out. A picture fell out, the one of Sarah and Joel that she took the day everything went to shit. "Hey. Put that back, you don't get to fucking touch that." Her voice was raised, she thrashed about trying to get loose from the restraints. Ellie ignored her and spoke to the older male beside her and handed him the picture. He took it from her and stared at it with tear filled eyes, he hadn't see that picture in years, he had almost forgotten what his daughter looked like.

His head snapped up at Y/n, anger bubbled in the pit of his stomach. He needed to know how she had this picture. He took long strides over to her figure against the column, crouching in front of her; the picture now laying in her lap. "How do you have this picture? Now don't fucking lie to me either." He was ready to shoot Y/n and leave her here to rot or maybe even feed her to the infected lurking around. "Sarah.." Y/n whispered, her voice on the point of breaking. Soft cries wracked her body, hiccups getting caught in her throat. Then everything clicked in Joel's head, he finally knew who this woman was - Y/n, his annoying best friend, but also Tommy's ex.

Ellie noticed Joel's demeanour change in an instant, she didn't understand why he was acting like his world had just crumbled around him when he had been treating Y/n like shit 10 minutes prior, he was unpredictable. Ellie sat there watching the whole scene unfold in front of her eyes, it started with Joel undoing Y/n's restraints and bringing her into him, holding her close. Then were the tears, Joel fucking Miller was crying; Ellie was stunned, who was this man and what happened to the stubborn ass that never joked around? Joel and Y/n held each other for 20 minutes, just sat there clinging onto each other. Once everything had died down, Joel had turned to Ellie and waved her over, he wanted her to meet the woman that he cared dearly for.

Ellie and Y/n had fallen asleep a couple hours ago, Joel told them he'd keep watch even though Y/n had told him no infected ever step foot in the station. He was sat by himself, far enough from the two sleeping figures for them to not hear him finally let out his emotions as he cradled the picture of Sarah. He finally had a piece of her again, something to keep him going. The sound of rustling fabric broke him away from his little moment, he looked over to see Y/n walking over to him. "You need some rest, Joel. I'll keep watch, I wont let anything happen to you or Ellie." He shook his head at the young woman beside him, he didn't want to fall asleep in case everyone disappeared and he would be alone again.

The two sat in silence for awhile until the rays of the sun beamed through the cracks of the station, creating streaks of white and yellow throughout the building. Y/n turned to Joel noticing his hunched over figure still clutching the picture, she moved his head to lay on her shoulder hoping he would be more comfortable. A content sigh left his lips as he slumped more into the woman, his weight leaning against her smaller frame. Ellie had woken up a little while after, Y/n put her finger to her lips signally for the girl to stay quiet in fear she would wake Joel up. Ellie only nodded and pulled out a book from her bag and began reading it, stifled giggles broke through the quiet room Y/n look at the girl once more; she noticed Ellie reading 'No Pun Intended: Volume Too' by Will Livingston, a faint smile appeared on Y/n's face.

Joel woke up to the smell of coffee brewing, it reminded him of the past, the good ol' days. He opened his eyes, squinting slightly at the sun rays seeping into the room. "Ugh! The fuck is that?" Ellie's voice broke through the air, Y/n broke into laughter "You don't like coffee?" The question making Ellie look at her in disbelief. Joel grumbled before getting up and walking over to the pot, checking if the coffee was brewed. Y/n threw a granola bar at Joel, which he barely caught, telling him to eat up. "So, where you guys heading?" Ellie was the one to answer - "We're going to Wyoming, Joel said his brother was there." Y/n looked at Joel, he avoided eye contact afraid of her shouting at him for not telling her about Tommy. All she did was huff and filled up her flask with coffee, screwing the lid on tight.

One week later, June 22th 2023 - Jackson, Wyoming

Joel, Ellie and Y/n had left Omaha a week ago, carrying their lives in their bags. The trek across states was tiring, always having to look over their backs in case of any surprise attacks from infected or worse - people. The sun had gone down a couple hours ago, the sky littered with stars dancing around, it was a beautiful sight. The trio set up camp in a little cave by the riverbend, snow blanketed the ground all around. It was bitterly cold, puffs of smoke entering the frosty air whenever they let out a breath of oxygen. Ellie was stood on a small ledge beside the cave, Joel would never admit it but he saw a lot of Sarah in Ellie; the witty comments, the sarcasm, always wanting to be older. It was a bittersweet feeling.

"Come down from there. You're gonna break your neck." Joel's voice called out to Ellie, earning a sigh from the young girl before hopping down. A fire had been started to try and provide the group more warmth, Joel took out a flask and started drinking from it. He passed it to Y/n, in which she took a gulp, the liqueur burning her throat slightly. "Can I have some?" - "No." Joel didn't hesitate to shut her down, she was a kid for god sake. "What? Just to warm up. C'mon." Joel gave in, nodding his head at Y/n, motioning for her to hand the flask over to Ellie. The young girl took a sip and pulled a face of disgust, earning a laugh from Y/n. "Yep.. still gross."

Everything was quiet for awhile, the sound of birds calling out from above was the only noise in the dark forest. Ellie was the one to break the silence, asking a question about what they would all do after she saved the world. Joel told her he wanted to have a farmhouse, own a ranch full of sheep; the thought made Y/n smile, she knew he always wanted a peaceful life away from the rest of the world, even before the whole cordyceps world domination. Ellie was the next to answer her own question "It's probably because I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there's ocean, and ahead of you, there's a wall." She paused before continuing "Nowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell.. But you know who my favourite is?" - "Sally Ride" A smile had grew on Ellie's face "Sally fucking Ride, best astronaut name ever."

Y/n never answered the question, she didn't know what she wanted really. She knew she wanted to find Tommy but she never took into account, what if he didn't want her anymore? What if he was happy with someone else, with a family of his own? The thought broke her heart, she knew it was a possibility but the thought of it would always shatter the only thing that held onto her life before all of this.

Joel and Ellie were still passed out, Y/n hadn't slept all night; exhaustion settling into her bones as she lent up against the stone wall behind her, Joel's rifle held close to her chest as she looked around her surroundings. The sound of joints clicking drew her attention to Joel, he was stretching his arms above his head, probably trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling from laying on the stone floor. "Don't give me that look, Joel. You needed to sleep, I can handle whatever comes at us, I'm not a baby anymore." He shook his head, he would never get used to Y/n being all grown up; he still remembers her and Tommy being kids running around on the front lawn as his mother shouted for them to come inside. Those were the memories that kept him going, kept him fighting for something better.

"You know, Tommy was heartbroken when he came home after serving. He kept asking me where you were, why someone else was living in your house." Y/n's eyes glazed over, she wanted to talk - say anything but her voice was caught in her throat. Joel placed his much larger hand into her smaller one, holding it as gently as he could; afraid he would hurt her if he was anything but careful. The gesture made Y/n look over at him, he looked tired, like the world had given up on him - which in some cases, it did. "I.. I never said thank you, so um - thank you for taking care of me all those years ago, Joel. You saved me from losing myself." That struck deep, he thought he was never enough, always fucking up and losing people closest to him. But looking at Y/n, he could still see the light in her eyes - though it had dimmed slightly. A ghost of a smile played on his lips, he felt like he finally done right.

Ellie had woken up shortly after Joel and Y/n's conversation, her hair now out of her usual ponytail, eyes wide open. "Hope I didn't interrupt your little moment." And there it was, her snarky comments. "Listen up, zombie child. Me and Joel didn't have a moment, we're not like that." Ellie stared at Y/n, stunned by what she had said. Then she had laughed, a cackle if you please, flipping the older woman off. "Okay, that was a good one. Joel take notes, be more funny like Y/n." Joel grumbled at her, a scowl replacing his once lovestruck features.

An hour and a half later - The river of death

The trio had made it past what they had originally thought was the 'river of death', relief washing over them. Then the sound of horses and people shouting disrupted the quiet atmosphere, Joel grabbed Ellie's wrist running back to where they had just come from but it was too late, the trio was surrounded by twelve or more riders all carrying guns. One of them hopped down and walked a little in front of the rest. "We ain't lookin' for trouble, we're just passin' through." - "Drop your guns." Nothing Joel could say would change this situation, they were fucked. "You.." The rider pointed at Ellie "Take five steps back." Ellie looked between Joel and Y/n, her eyes begging for help. Y/n had to think of something to help her, the kid needed someone with her right now so Y/n could only do one thing. "Hey, excuse me. She's my daughter, please let me stay with her, I'm all she has left." Y/n forced her voice to break at the end of her sentence, tears pricking at her eyes.

The woman on one of the horses nodded her head at Y/n, letting her walk over to Ellie; engulfing her in a warm embrace. Joel looked over at them, his eyes told the words he couldn't - I'm sorry for everything. "You been near infected?" the man had said, panic set in the pit of Y/n's stomach as she held Ellie closer. "There ain't no infected out here." Joel stated bluntly, trying to find a way to get out of this situation. "The hell there ain't." the man whistled, a dog running up behind him. "Last chance for a bullet. If you've been infected, he will smell it, and he will rip you up." Ellie whimpered, Joel turned his head towards them and mouthed - You will be okay, I swear. The dog, ran up to Joel, sniffing him; his paws placed against Joel's stomach as the dog checked for the smell of infection. He was clean, the dog turned his attention to Y/n and Ellie; his growls ripping through the air as he stalked towards them. Joel shut his eyes tight, scared to see anything happen to them. But all that was heard next was giggles and happy barks, the dog was licking Ellie's hands as Y/n pet him "Who's a good boy?" The dog barked in return before turning around and speeding off to his owner.

"You just bought yourself 10 more seconds. What are you doing out here?" The man was getting impatient, bored by the whole interaction. "I'm just lookin' for my brother. That's all, nothin' more." The woman on the horse perked up at this, like she was a mix between happy and surprised. "What's your name?" Her voice was as smooth as honey "Joel."

The group of riders had allowed Joel, Ellie and Y/n to ride their horses back to their settlement. Joel was on his own as Ellie clung to Y/n, arms wrapped tightly around her waist. They rode for half an hour or so, until they saw big wooden gates about 1/2 a mile in front of them, the words - Jackson - painted on a sign above it. Once they had made it to the settlement, they were met with masses of people walking around, buildings looking like they did before the outbreak. Then Joel noticed someone on a step ladder helping another citizen with something. "Tommy!" the name caught Y/n's attention, her head snapping in the direction of Joel running over to a younger male. Then it hit her, Tommy Miller was alive and he was a few feet in front of her. His hair was much longer now, he had sun kissed skin, freckles dancing across his face. "Hey, Tommy, listen.. I have someone you're gonna want to see." Joel walked over to the horse Y/n and Ellie were sat on, his brother trailing behind. Y/n wasn't ready, she couldn't face him yet, so she did was she does best - run.

Joel called out her name as she ran, looking for a place to hide. She found herself in the stables, pushed into the furthest corner of the building. Tears falling down her cheeks, her chest tightening as she tried to control her breathing. A sharp pain stabbed at her lungs, her breathing rugged and uneven. A hand placed on Y/n's back made her jump, she looked beside her and saw the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago, he was still oh so beautiful. "Hey, doll. You need to calm down, I'm here now." Tommy placed her hand on his heart, she could feel the hammering beating of the muscle, it calmed her down enough for her to breathe; though it still came out in sharp waves. They sat together for what felt like hours, his hand combing through her hair trying his best to calm her down as much as possible.

"I'm, I'm sorry for leaving. I- I didn't know if you were ever going to come back." Y/n tried her best to speak, hiccups breaking through every so often. Tommy shook his head, bringing her closer to him. If he knew she would've showed up in his settlement one day, he would've chosen his life a little differently. It broke him knowing he was going to have to tell Y/n he was no longer hers, how was he going to break the news? It wasn't his fault, him and Maria kinda just happened; it wasn't planned. But right now, all Tommy wanted to do was relish in this moment; memorise every bit of it and lock it away in his mind for safe keeping. He would always love Y/n but he was married now, about to have a kid; something he was too young to do with her back then. "Why did you leave me? Was I not enough for you?" Now that had shattered the remaining pieces of his heart, Tommy hesitated for a moment, thinking over what he wanted to say. "I didn't want to leave you, darling. I just.. I didn't feel like I belonged, I needed to escape from it all.. I'm sorry, doll. You were more than enough, I promise." Tommy's voice broke, it had betrayed him for the first time in years.

Their little moment was interrupted when Maria and Ellie entered the stables, the older woman glaring daggers at Y/n - who was still clinging to Tommy. She turned to Ellie and asked if she wanted to pet the pony, Shimmer. With Ellie now distracted, Maria walked over to Tommy and Y/n, forcing the younger Miller to stand up and pulling him away from the stables. Y/n's eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she watch the love of her life being ripped away from her, once again.

Joel, Ellie and Y/n were housed across from Tommy and Maria, who Y/n had found out to be Tommy's wife. The house reminded her of the past, the good ol' days. Memories of Y/n, Tommy and Joel as kids running around the Miller household flooded her head. Mrs. Miller calling out to the trio, telling them to hurry inside before it started raining, baking cookies with her, dancing around the kitchen while Abba was playing on a cassette Tommy had found in his parents room. Joel teaching Y/n to play the guitar, growing up with the both of them. Those were the times Y/n longed for, the times when everything felt right. She wanted everything to go back to normal, she would give up everything just to go back in time to relive those special moments.

A knock on the door sounded throughout the house, shaking Y/n out of her daze. She went to go answer it but Ellie had beat her to it. The door opened and there stood Tommy, he looked rough; eyes red and puffy, his skin flushed. "Ellie, Maria asked for you. Could you give me and Y/n a moment please?" His voice was broken, the last time Y/n had ever heard him sound like this was when his parents passed away. He went off the rails that day, Joel had to haul his ass all the way to Y/n's house because he didn't trust him enough to be at home on his own. Ellie nodded her head and sneaked past the pair, heading across the street to Maria's home.

"Tommy? What-" Y/n was cut off by Tommy placing his hands on her face and kissing her, it was gentle; something she had missed. He pulled away before she could kiss him back. "Tommy, baby.. what happened?" Y/n brought Tommy into the living room, making him sit on one of the sofa's. His hands were shaking, his eyes looked around the room refusing to meet with her gaze. "We- we broke up.. Maria told me to leave and- and never come back." His voice wavered, sobs wracked his body as he tried to remain calm. Arms wrapped around his frame, the soft scent of soap filling his senses. Her skin was delicate, faint scars littering her hands and arms. "It's okay, Tom. She didn't mean it, she loves you." Y/n forced herself to not breakdown, Tommy wasn't hers anymore and she just had to be okay with it.

Tommy turned to look at her, his eyes scanning her face; she hadn't changed much, hair longer, skin tanned but she was still the Y/n he loved, still the woman he longed to have a life with. "But I love you, doll. I always will and I can't push myself to live a life without you.." Those three little words struck at her heart, it felt like she could finally breathe again. But she remembered Tommy was married and she couldn't ruin what Maria and Tommy had made for themselves. Y/n pulled herself away from him, her head in her hands as she tried to think over everything that has happened in the last few hours. Tommy reached out for her hand and place it on his chest, like he had done earlier that day. "You feel that? My heart beats for you, no one else. It belongs to you, darlin'." Then he kissed her again, this time it was filled with pure love, the need to be with each other. He wasn't giving up on her this time, he couldn't lose her for the second time. He would follow her to the ends of the earth if he had to, she was his home.

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