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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years

Text

Do Us Part

Warnings: nonconsent and rape; oral, fingering, marital discord, cheating, spousal arguments and mental/emotional abuse, age gap (Peter is 24/25 and reader is 35/36)

This is dark!Peter Parker x 30s/’older’ reader and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You find it hard to accept that not all good things last as you face the changes in your marriage, yourself, and your marriage.

Note: I wanted to write Peter again but also I’ve seen this nonsense about how 30+ writers are too old for fanfic which is dumb af. And I wanted to turn the age gap trope a little so that it wasn’t the reader being the younger one in the relationship. I label it older reader but I don’t think being in your 30s is old tbh (my bf is 36 so pfft). It was all just a conglomeration of circumstances that inspired a deceivingly sweet dark Peter and I hope you like it. Also it’s 7.4k so a bit of a longer read.

Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

You walked slowly along the transparent shelves set into the pristine white walls of the cosmetics section. The department store was a haze of distant voices and the chirp of scanners as customers milled the aisles and waited their turn to check out. You whiled away your time looking at things you’d never buy as you waited for your husband to return from the men’s department.

You thought of the sparse make-up bag under your sink and the liners and shades you hadn’t used in years. They were likely expired and better tossed in the bin. You hovered along the crystal bottle of designer scents and stopped to test a particular blush-tinted fragrance.

You set the bottle back and peered over at the dark cubbies that housed the men’s scent. Even from there, you could catch a whiff of the heady scents as a younger man with reddish brown hair examined an angular vial of Dior Men. You suddenly felt out of place; a mid-thirties woman in her out-of-season clothes fantasizing about overpriced perfume.

Your husband's voice further cemented your reality as you fingered the golden cap of the Coach eau du parfum. Wesley rolled his eyes and flipped up the little plastic panel that hid the bold prices and huffed.

“I hope you don’t think I’m gonna pay for that shit,” he sneered, “what have you been doing? I was waiting for you.”

He waved a plastic bag as his lip curled and you pressed your mouth shut tightly and swallowed. The day began with another argument as he discovered the seared hole in his shirt and instead of blaming the crappy old dryer, he blamed you. Most of your clothes had been chewed up by the thing but you never complained.

“No, I was just… looking,” you teetered in your flats and glanced around. The young man at the corner display quickly turned to hide his nosy observation, “did you find some new shirts?”

“No thanks to you,” he sniffed.

“Oh,” you played with the hem of your tee and tucked your hands into your pockets nervously. You’d left him to look alone as you only seemed to irritate him and rarely took your advice on matters of clothing, “well, I thought I’d give you some space--”

“Stop acting so pathetic. Start taking responsibility for yourself. For god’s sake, you're almost thirty-six and you don’t know how to hang a shirt to dry?” He spun on his heel and snapped over his shoulder, “let’s go.”

You flinched but followed behind him as he strode away and you stumbled out behind him through the automatic doors. He tossed the bag into the back seat and slammed the door before flopping angrily into the driver’s side. You mirrored him daintily and squeezed your legs together as you tried to make yourself as small as you could.

“I told you about the dryer,” you said.

“And?” he started the engine and slapped his hand around the wheel, “call a fucking electrician or some shit.”

“Alright,” you shrugged as he stopped at the exit of the parking lot and checked his phone quickly.

“Benny wants to do a round of golf,” he peeled out and you grasped the door as your heart raced. You hated how reckless he was when he was angry. You hated how easily he got angry these days.

“Okay,” you picked at the fraying stitching of your purse.

“Don’t start moping,” he sneered, “I fucking work all week and I can’t go out and have a few rounds?”

“I never-- I didn’t say anything,” you murmured.

“You don’t need to,” he turned the wheel sharply as he cut off another car, “you sit at home all day and do what?”

“I work too,” you said.

“Uh huh, sure, if that’s what you call it.”

You ran your fingertip over the bleach stain on the knee of your jeans and said nothing. When he was in a mood, he would latch on anything until he outright exploded. You tried to think of when he changed, when he had stopped being the chill guy you met back in college. It felt like a slow trickle, small things you ignored until it was a mountain you could not see past.

You felt like crying but you’d stopped that a while ago. You existed in a purgatory of acceptance and helplessness. You wanted him to love you again, wanted to believe you could fix things. So you would keep trying. You would do better.

💍

You picked out a large flank of steak and winced at the price. You had a special dinner in mind. It was Friday and the work week was done. You wanted a weekend without a fight and Wesley was always one for a nice big cut of beef. You hadn’t made him one in a while, your dinners were the usual repetitive drumsticks and rice or your homemade mac and cheese.

You continued onto the fish section and grabbed some salmon for yourself. You’d gained some weight and decided to cut out dairy and red meat if you could help it. The pile of produce in your cart reminded you of the extra jiggle around your stomach and thighs. You also grabbed one of those women’s magazines that advertised a regimen to help slim your figure. You only hoped you could stick to it this time.

With your weekly haul in tow, you wheeled up to the check-out and waited behind a young man who looked oddly familiar to you. Maybe that was the passing years. You always felt a vague glimmer of deja vu, more often a sense of forlorn nostalgia of what you would never have again.

As you stared thoughtlessly, he looked over and smiled. He bent in front of your cart and picked up a thin packet of seasoning.

“You dropped this,” he said as he held it out and you thanked him before quickly snatching it and looking away.

He paid for his large bags of chips and over salted pre-packaged meals and packed up at the end as you loaded up your own goods, the cashier sending them down the parallel belt. You swiped your card and tried to calculate the chunk of money from your last check. You thanked the clerk and sidled past the young man as he finished up.

You rounded the counter as he lifted his three bags. You looked up without thinking, the sleeve of his shirt tight around his bicep. You caught yourself staring and looked back down as you packed in the cans.

It reminded you of Wesley; he’d also started being more mindful, he hit the gym after work and you noticed the little pudge that started just after he turned thirty was slimming out. It was that exact reason that made you notice the extra pounds on your own frame, not that you didn’t realise before.

The man left and you unfolded the little buggy you slid under the cart. You loaded your bags into it and dragged the cart behind you as you made an awkward exit with both wheeled trolleys. The compact fabric buggy was easy enough to fit on the bus if you stood.

You pushed the cart into the row of empty ones and continued across the parking lot. You rolled up to the bus shelter and checked the bus times on your phone. You dug out your strip of tickets and ripped one away. You leaned on the thin handle of your trolley and looked over your shoulder as you heard someone approach.

The man who checked out ahead of you put his bags on the metal bench inside the shelter as he sipped on a bright drink from the place just beside the grocery shop. He sent you a smile over his straw and you spun back to crane your head and search for the bus.

When the metal beast barreled up and cranked to a stop at the curb, the man waited behind you and as your wheels caught on the edge of the ramp, he reached around you and helped push it over the lip. You thanked him shyly and continued up. Usually you tried to keep the shop light on weekdays but you hadn’t really been paying attention.

You pushed your cart against the small barrier just behind the accessible seating and stood beside it, conscious not to take up too much space. The man stood just behind you two bags on one shoulder and the other dangling from the opposite elbow as he sucked on his straw. You grabbed the upright bar as the bus took off and watched the electronic banner for your stop.

A sharp stop had you veering back and you were caught by the young man as he chucked, “oop, you okay?”

“Yes, thank you,” you muttered and gave a sheepish smile over your shoulder.

“There’s a seat,” he gestured just behind you, “I’ll watch your stuff.”

“Um, no it’s… fine,” you gripped the bar tighter as the bus shuttled forward, “my stop is soon.”

You looked ahead of you and three stops passed before yours. You exited through the front with your buggy and headed down the sidewalk as the bus pulled away. You were exhausted just from your little sojourn and it wasn’t even two o’clock. God, you felt old.

💍

You had a salad chopped and tossed and the steak and fish laid out and seasoned. As you listened to your old Spotify list, the music dipped and the notification blipped over the screen. You washed your hands and grabbed the phone. You frowned as you read the lone message from Wesley, the only one you got from him all day.

‘Just finished at the gym, getting drinks with Andrew,’ you read and re-read the message as your heart fell.

You typed out a whole angry response and backspaced it all. You replaced it with ‘ok, have fun’ and blacked the screen. You shoved the meat back in the fridge and stretched saran wrap over the bowl of salad. You placed it on a lower shelf and closed the door, quickly swiping a can of the craft beer Wesley kept around.

You shut the light off in the kitchen and ignored the pang in your stomach as you cracked the can. You climbed the stairs as you sipped the hoppy foam. You put it on the night table and changed into the old butterfly pajamas you wore most nights and turned on the tv mounted against the wall.

You turned on Netflix but hardly paid attention to the carelessly chosen movie. You sat against the headboard and down the bitter beer until the can was hollow and your eyelids were heavy. You slumped down so that your shoulders were at your ears and dozed off in the stiff position as the room moved with the colours of the television.

The anger and alcohol shaded your shallow sleep and you hardly heard Wesley when he came in, only waking when your bladder was ready to burst and his snores rumbled in your head. You went to the bathroom and returned, wide awake, and stared at the shape of him in the dark.

You remembered when he used to kiss you when he came home, even when you were asleep, he’d wake you with the little pecks. You remembered when he was happy to come home. You remembered when you were happy.

You swallowed the acrid aftertaste of beer and left him to snore. You went downstairs and curled up on the couch but didn’t sleep. You just stared at the shadows of the furniture until the sun rose.

💍

The next day, Wesley didn’t wake until after noon and when he did, he didn’t say a word to you. He took his coffee and sat at the patio table in the back as you stewed and cleaned the kitchen. You had nothing to say to him even if you felt stupid for being mad.

“Gotta head down to the dealership,” he said as he interrupted your scouring of the stove.

“The dealership?” you said after a moment, deciding whether or not to break your vow of silence.

“I told you on Wednesday, I’m picking up the car--”

“We talked about this. We should wait a little longer--”

“It’s my money and I got a great price,” he sighed, “just because you have to pinch your pennies--”

“We’re married,” you squeezed the foam sponge, “it’s our money. Don’t act like I don’t pay for anything around here.”

“Oh thanks, honey, so wonderful you paid for a five dollar steak,” he scoffed, “I’ll be impressed when you can make a mortgage payment on your own.”

“How dare you!” you turned your back to him and kept scrubbing, “fine, but not a penny of my money is going to that thing.”

“That’s fine, I’m selling the old one, that should cover most of it--”

“What?” you slammed your hand between the burner, “you said we would hold onto it so I had something to--”

“Then you can buy it from me,” he said venomously.

“I’m your wife,” you spun to scowl at him again, “I-- what is wrong with you?”

He tilted his head and squinted as he poked his tongue out along his lip. “Nothing wrong with me,” he shrugged, “what’s wrong with you?”

“Don’t--” you warned as you pointed a finger at him through the bright yellow gloves, “don’t do that… I’ve been trying and you just keep pushing me away.”

“Me pushing you away?” he rolled his eyes, “you were passed out last night when I got home. Maybe if you didn’t fall asleep before nine I could actually fuck you… or at least get it up if you worked on losing some of that cellulite on your ass.”

Your lip quivered and you sucked in a breath. You shook your head and turned around again. You ignored him as your hand shook and you continued your work, scratching at the dried-on food around the burner. His empty mug clinked onto the counter and you listened to his exit.

Fuck him and his new car. You were done trying with him.

💍

Wesley’s new car was shrouded in the shade of the garage as the old black Hyundai sat out on the driveway with a red and white “For Sale” sign on the windshield. Right after he got back from his extravagant purchase, he made the listing online and several perusers stopped by Saturday night but Sunday morning saw the car still there.

You sat by the border of stones around the garden as he drank beer in the garage and approached any interested buyers who appeared; although so far he’d only had two before noon.

You tucked your clippers into your apron pocket and dusted off your gloves as you stood. You were a little dizzy from sitting out in the sun and a glass of water was the perfect excuse to drown out the annoying sound of your husband’s voice.

You ignored Wesley as you trod through the garage and kicked your sneakers off on the mat right before the three steps up to the house. You went to the kitchen and put your gloves on the counter as you filled a glass from the dispenser on the front of the fridge. You’d given up everything but water and the slices of lemon were the only flavour you had.

You took the glass and your gloves and headed back. Wesley waited just at the bottom of the stairs as he glared up at you with arms crossed. You sighed and descended but he didn’t let you pass.

“What is your problem?”

“Are you really asking me that?” you hissed.

“You giving me the silent treatment isn’t gonna fix this,” he snarled.

“You know what you said so… I shouldn’t have to tell you to apologize,” you retorted and he stayed put.

“Is this about the car?”

“The car is just another thing,” you cross an arm around your stomach, “you think I couldn’t use it to get around, to get the groceries maybe? Or, I don’t know, maybe since you have such a problem with my home office, I could go out and get a ‘big girl’ job as you put it so many times--”

“Your mother has a car she never drives. You can just take her with you, two birds, one stone. I need to sell this to pay for the new one--”

“The one I begged you not to buy,” you huffed, “you could’ve waited a few more years until we were a little more comfortable--”

“Oh, wait? Until we have a kid and all my money goes to it,” he snapped, “yeah, I’m sure we’d have the money then--”

“You’d have to fuck to do that,” you stepped down the last step and pushed past him.

As you came into the sunlight and shielded your eyes, a figure stood by the garden, knelt just by your tulips as he felt the soft petals. You narrowed your eyes. You recognized him for sure. It was the stranger from the bus.

“Um, hi?” you croaked as you swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Hey, it’s… you again,” he chuckled softly as he stood, “I saw an ad for a car and… well, I’m getting tired of the bus.”

“Oh, uh, my husband,” you pointed over your shoulder, “you’ll have to talk to him.”

“Okay,” he smiled, “Peter,” he held out his hand and you stared at it. You introduced yourself and shook his firm grip.

“Like I said, it’s my husband selling the car,” you brushed by him and got to your knees by the flowerbed. “Unless you’re looking to buy some wilting pansies.”

“Hmm, I like the tulips better,” he said as he slowly inched away, “thanks.”

You sat back on your heels and he strode over to the open garage. You heard Wesley greet him and didn’t bother paying attention to the same pitch you’d heard all morning. You pulled on your gloves and wiggled your nose as it tingled. You really just wanted to keel over and bawl.

“Sold,” Wesley announced and you heard a clap, “all yours!”

“I’ll just transfer the deposit,” Peter said and a minute passed before he emerged again, the keys hanging from his finger, “Thanks, Wes.”

You hid your distaste. It used to be that Wesley hated being called ‘Wes’ but lately, he introduced himself to everyone as just ‘Wes’. He really had changed. You must have too.

“Hey,” you looked up and blinked as the sun made your eyes water as it shone around Peter.

“You bought it?” you asked as you yanked free a weed.

“Yep, but uh,” he glanced over his shoulder as the old car stereo Wesley used blared out a classic rock tune, “I… wasn’t eavesdropping but I heard some of it and… if you ever need a ride to the grocery store, I usually try for Wednesdays,” he tucked his hand in his pocket, “I don’t live too far and since we go to the same one--”

“No, no, you don’t have to do that,” you looked back to the soil, embarrassed.

“Well, if you change your mind,” he kept the keys dangling from one finger and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his wallet and slid out a card with some effort, “I’m supposed to have these handy but I never really use them.”

He offered the business card and you read his name above the title, ‘senior photographer’. You gave a half-hearted smile and put it in your apron pocket.

“Thanks,” you said, “I can manage.”

“You don’t have to though,” he said kindly, “but I’ll, uh, leave you to your gardening. Sorry if I bugged you.”

“You didn’t,” you assured without looking up, flattered that anyone cared enough to even offer help.

“Hey, Pete,” Wesley stopped Peter as he neared the car, “you can have one before you go.”

“Oh, no, I’m gonna be driving,” Peter argued.

“Pfft, it’s a celebration and one won’t put you over the limit,” Wesley insisted and handed him a dark bottle of craft brew, “come on.”

“I really should go--”

“It’s a Sunday, where do you need to be?” Wesley patted his shoulder and looked over at you, “hey, honey, you wanna see if we have any snacks for our guest?”

“I’m not hungry,” Peter said curtly, “really. Just the beer is fine.”

They disappeared back into the garage and you cringed. You hated that. Wesley only every acted like a husband when others were around.

💍

You waited a whole week before returning to the grocery store. You were short on everything and it was a reason to get out of the house. Your husband had made both your home and your workplace hostile.

It irked you that Wesley resented you working from home when a couple years ago he was so happy about it. Then, he’d been so enthusiastic about starting a family but when it didn’t happen right away, he grew disillusioned and bitter. Now, he seemed to have no interest in being a husband let alone a father.

As you packed up your spinach and bottles of Perrier, your cart rolled just a little as someone nudged it from the other end. You raised your head and hid your surprise and discomfort as Peter smiled back at you.

“I thought you said Wednesdays,” you murmured as you dropped a bag in your cart.

“I forgot eggs,” he held up the carton, “I guess I have good timing.”

“You do?” you asked as you pulled your cart forward and maneuvered around to push it out of the way of fellow shoppers. You bent to grab your trolley from beneath and he caught it as you unfolded it.

“I’ll drive you,” he said.

“I told you--”

“I’m here so why not? Save the ticket for next time,” he urged.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why does it matter? Why do I matter to you?” you asked.

“I don’t know, I… like helping people,” he shrugged, “what if I told you you were helping me? I have this horrible need to be the hero.”

“That will go away,” you muttered under your breath and he lifted a brow, “sorry, I… thank you.”

“Alright, let’s go then,” he collapsed the trolley and carried it easily under his arm as he cradled his eggs in the other, “I got the A/C fixed on the car too.”

“Mmm,” you hummed and walked with him out of the store.

You crossed the parking lot and helped you load up the bags in the trunk. That car should have been yours; you’d made enough payments on it yourself but Wesley was such a stubborn ass.

You sat in the front seat as he slid into the other and started the car. He drove cautiously through the lot and you read the store signs as he came to the exit.

“How long have you and… the old man been together?”

“Um,” you glanced over at him and chewed your lip, “since college so… almost fifteen years now.”

“Fifteen?” he turned out onto the street, “really? I thought he was older than you.”

“Christ,” you scoffed, “don’t flatter me.”

“Really, I woulda said twenty-eight at most,” he said coolly, “wow, I feel so young now.”

“And I feel so old,” you grumbled as you crossed your legs, hoping he didn’t notice the wrinkle in the pink capris.

“Whatever, you’re not even forty,” he said, “and time has treated you well so I can only think in a few years… oh jeez, sorry, that came off weirder than I intended. Not that I meant for it to be weird at all--”

You giggled at his rambling as he rolled to a stop at the sign and peeked over at you in the rearview. You caught his eye and quickly looked away, “what?”

“Just… you have a nice smile,” he said as he turned down a side street, “and a nice laugh.”

“Thank you,” your voice was brittle at the genuine compliment, “you’re funny.”

“Am I? I wasn’t trying to be,” he took the same short cut you took when you walked home from the convenience store which was closer than the plaza.

“And nice,” you said as he came onto your street, “you really didn’t have to drive me. You could’ve dropped me at the corner--”

“No way, I was raised better than that, and if you think I’m letting you carry that all in by yourself--”

“Raised to help little old ladies?” you mused.

“Raised to treat ladies properly,” he corrected, “especially pretty ones.”

“I’m married,” your heart pattered as you dared to flirt back, almost in disbelief that he was humouring you, “and your lies don’t work on me, young man.”

“Not that young,” he insisted as he pulled into the driveway.

You got out and went around to the trunk. He handed you the bag with the bread and other light products, and loaded up with the other bags.

“You get the doors, let me do the heavy work,” he said and nodded you towards the house.

You went ahead of him and unlocked the door. You let him inside and pointed him into the kitchen. He placed the bags on the counter and stretched his arms and hands as you set yours on the other side. The muscles of his arms moved under his skin and you could trace the lines of his torso through his grey tee.

“So,” he took out the bottle of Perrier, “this going in the fridge?”

“What-- you’ve done enough.”

“Fridge?” he ignored you and pulled out the other.

You gave a long blink and threw up your hands in surrender, “yes, please,” you came around and reached in to grab the whole grain buns, “bottom shelf.”

You finished unpacking your groceries and took the empty bags from Peter and shoved them under the counter. You stood and looked at him nervously as he watched you, his fingers tapping on the granite.

“Do you want a snack? Something to drink? Water?”

“I’ll have a water,” he said and moved to leaned his elbow on the countertop, his side snug to the edge.

“Sparkling or--”

“Regular’s fine,” he answered

“Ice? Lemon?” you pulled out a tall glass.

“Just ice is fine… then I’ll be out of your hair,” he said.

Ice clinked into the glass and you covered it with the distilled water from the fridge. You slid it onto the counter and stepped back.

“Oh, I… actually, it’s a good thing I ran into you,” he said and took a sip, “my aunt, she likes to garden too but she got some bulbs she’s not gonna use, I thought maybe… maybe you would like some to fill in the holes?”

“What kind?” you asked.

“Some daffodils and some crocuses, I think,” he said, “I could bring them over next week after work?”

“That sounds like a lot of work,” you scrunched your lips, “you could probably just give them to a neighbour.”

“It’s not out of the way,” he said, “you want them?”

You stared at him and thought. He was nice. Too nice.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing, I… I’m sure you have a girlfriend you could be spending time with--”

“I don’t. Not anymore,” he interrupted.

“Oh, sorry,” you said, “I didn’t--”

“Like I said, I always wanna be the good guy,” he finished his water and the last of the cubes settled at the bottom, “thanks.”

“No, thank you,” you said as he set his glass in the sink and backed away, “really, you made my day so much easier.”

“I hope your weekend is better,” he said, “but…”

He didn’t finished and you folded your hands together as he hesitated by the hallway.

“But what?” you prodded.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, “nothing. I should go.”

“Okay,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “see ya.”

“Monday,” he confirmed as he turned to the doorframe, “I’ll bring the bulbs. Just after seven.”

“Right,” you slanted your lips and watched him go.

The door marked his departure and you turned to exhale and lean against the counter. You could still smell his rich cologne. Then you felt guilty. It was stupid to think he was doing anything more than being nice, that the flirting was anything but a joke, but still, you missed feeling that way and it should’ve been Wesley making you feel that.

💍

You squeezed the phone as you clenched your jaw so tight it hurt. Your eyes were wet and finally the tears were ready to start falling. The smell of steak filled the kitchen, another meal you wouldn’t eat. At the last minute, Wesley texted to tell you he was hitting the gym. Again. He was already late after a long meeting but promised he’d be home to eat.

So you waited for him to answer your furious phone call but got his voicemail instead. Your eyes narrowed at the bottle of wine and your chest knotted as the tone sounded.

“Wesley, this is it. I can’t do this anymore! I’m your wife. Do you even want to be with me? I can’t go on like this and now you won’t even answer my calls,” you snarled. You knew he had his phone on him as he no doubt had his Spotify work-out list on shuffle, “when you come home, you can sleep on the couch.”

You hung up and grabbed a stemmed glass from the cupboard. You filled it to the brim with Pinot Grigio but before you could taste it, the doorbell made you jump. You set down the glass and walked up the hallway. Just on the other side of the frosted glass was a silhouette. You opened the door and touched your forehead as you faced Peter.

“I totally forgot you were coming,” you breathed, “I’m so sorry. But thank you, you really didn’t have to--”

“Are you okay?” he asked as the paper bag in his hand crinkled.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I… thank you for the flowers,” you looked at the brown paper bag and he handed it over, another bag on his wrist; white with ribbon handles, “what’s that? You headed out for a date?”

“Um, no,” he said, “actually, I was just…” he pushed his fingers through his hairs, the reddish brown locks slightly curled with sweat, “I wanted to talk to you.” He looked past you and his warm eyes returned to yours, “Wesley isn’t home yet?”

“No, he won’t be for a while,” you backed up, “so you might as well come in. I have a steak no one’s gonna eat.”

“Yeah, he wouldn’t be,” Peter said glumly, “and steak sounds good.”

He closed the door behind him and followed you into the kitchen. You put the bulbs at the back of the counter and grabbed the bottle, “wine?”

“No thank you,” he said.

You plunked down the bottle and took a gulp of your wine before you turned to plate the steak and your chicken breast alongside the fried asparagus and roasted potatoes. You set the filet before him as he sat on the stool and climbed up across from him at the long island.

“Thank you,” he watched you slide a steak knife and fork towards him and his gaze lingered on your lips as you took another thirsty mouthful, “this is for you, actually.”

He pushed the white bag over to you and you smelled the subtle floral scent rising from it. You put your glass down and pushed open the top of the bag and peeked inside. You shook your head and rescinded your hand as if you were slapped. It was the same perfume from that day weeks ago.

“You… how?”

“You don’t remember?” he asked.

You thought back on the day you wanted to forget. He was the other shopper in the perfume section, the one who sent you that sympathetic look as Wesley reproached you. You winced and grabbed your utensils. You cut into the chicken and shoved it in your mouth. You swallowed loudly.

“Take it back,” you sniffed, “I don’t want it. I don’t deserve it.”

“You do. He doesn’t deserve you,” he carefully sliced into the medium rare steak.

“Is that what this is? Some perverted joke? A challenge?” you dropped your fork and knife, “you think you can seduce the sad housewife and then laugh at it? Sow your wild oats?”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” he calmly put down the silverware, “I… what I didn’t say when I showed up is I just came from the gym.”

You frowned in confusion and wrinkled your nose. You took another drink of wine as you tried to understand.

“I saw Wesley,” he said as he leaned on his elbow and pulled out his phone with his other hand, “I didn’t wanna say anything but… you’re here beating yourself up over him and-- just look.”

He slid his phone across the counter and you looked at the screen. Your entire body felt heavy and your veins filled with ice. You dropped your head into your hands as you tried to wipe the sight from your eyes; the image of your husband groping a woman in yoga pants, an act she wasn’t deterring.

“I knew it,” you sobbed as the tears burst forth and leaked down your palms, “I knew it. And why wouldn’t he? I’m old, ugly--” you sniffed and pulled your hands away to wipe them on your pants. Peter held out a paper towel and you took it as you avoided his eyes, “thank you but I think you should go. I’m humiliated enough.”

“You shouldn’t be alone,” he said as he climbed down from the stool and rounded the island, “he’s an asshole. He’s blind.”

“Please, Peter, just leave me alone,” you slid off the stool and he caught your shoulders. You looked up at him as you dabbed away the streaks of sadness with the paper towel, “Peter--”

“I’m not leaving,” he said firmly, “he’s out there having his fun, so why don’t you have some of your own?”

“Peter, that’s-- that’s wrong. I’m too old for you. And… I’m fat and--”

“You’re perfect,” he reached up to frame your chin with his hand, “you’re gorgeous,” his other hand trailed down your arm and to your hip, “that’s the first thing I noticed about you…” he pulled you closer and tapped your ass lightly.

“No, I can’t-- I just want to be alone,” you pushed on his arms and felt the thick biceps as he flexed and kept you close.

“Well, baby, what I want,” he turned you so that you were pinned between him and the island, “is for you to put on that perfume… I want you wearing nothing but that.”

“Peter,” you pushed on his chest that time and the hard muscle wall didn’t budge, “Peter, go--”

“Baby,” he bent and scooped you up suddenly.

His hands spread over your ass as he lifted you and crushed his lips against yours. You murmured in surprise and he placed you on the granite countertop. He parted from your lips as you sat up and he shoved your legs apart, inserting himself between your knees. He played with the bottom of the dress you’d worn in hopes of rekindling your dying marriage.

“We can go slow,” he tickled along your thighs and pulled back suddenly, “just a little at a time.”

He leaned in as he reached around you and grabbed the small white bag. He pulled out the perfume and snaked his hand around your neck. He pulled you to bend over him and he kissed your neck just before he sprayed a puff of perfume across your throat. He stood back and took a deep breath. He put the bottle on the counter and his hands went back to your skirt.

“Peter,” you caught his hands as they crept under the fabric, “please.”

You tried to slide forward and he stopped you as he grasped your hips and held you in place. He bit his lip as his eyes glimmered up at you. He drew a hand away and took the glass of wine and held it before your mouth.

“Drink, relax,” he cooed, “forget about him.”

You stared at him and he brought your hand up with his and wrapped it around the full body of the glass. He nudged it to your lips and watched you until you drank from the crystal rim. He smirked and lifted your skirt as he bent to bury his head beneath the folds.

You gulped and choked on the wine as your skirt fluttered down over his shoulders. You felt his finger on the lace trim of your panties and winced. He squeezed your thighs with his other hand and nuzzled the crotch of your underwear. You tried to close your legs but he kept them apart easily.

He curled his fingers under the elastic of your panties and tugged. He pulled until you lifted your ass just enough for him to get them free and he guided them down your legs before quickly parting them again.

You set down the glass and almost overturned it, the last mouthful splashing up the side. You pressed your hands to the granite and peered down at the shape of his head beneath your skirt. You gasped as his cool tongue grazed your warm folds and delved deeper.

“Peter…” you wisped and closed your eyes as you tried to hide from your own shame.

He purred as his tongue flicked over your clit and you twitched. He caressed the crease of your thigh with his fingers as he lapped at your, his other hand pressed against your stomach until you fell back across the counter. You arched your back instinctively and his hand cupped your tit through your dress.

He blindly pulled until your chest slipped out and pushed the cup of your bra as he teased your clit with his tongue. He felt along your cunt with his fingers and shoved his index inside of you. You moaned as he pushed another inside and curled them as he suckled on your bud.

Your core burned to life. Your entire being was set alight after months without affection. You quivered in delight and fear. Your nerves stormed both out of guilt and hunger. It felt so good but you knew it was wrong. The scent of the perfume filled your nose as your skin grew hot.

He moved his hand in time with his mouth as he doted on you. His touch intensified as your legs bent around the side of the island and your fingernails dragged along the granite, your voice rising without thought. He pinched your nipple and you cried out as you came in a wave of sheer pleasure and grabbed his wrist as you tried to steady yourself.

He eased off slowly as you trembled in the afterglow, his lingering touch tickled along your legs as he pushed your dress up. He pulled you to sit up and lifted the fabric over your head and ripped your sleeves free from your arms. He tossed as side the garment and swiftly covered your mouth with his so you tasted your own arousal on his tongue.

He unhooked your bra blindly and slid it off your arms. You were intensely aware of your nakedness and as you brought your arms up to cover yourself, he forced them down and ran his hands over your bare torso.

“Beautiful,” he said as he laid a trail of gentle pecks along your throat and chest, pausing to take a nipple in his mouth as he rolled the other between his fingers and sent a shiver through you.

He kneaded your sides and hips, his fingers danced along your thighs and he followed the path with his mouth, kissing and nipping your flesh. He lifted his head again as he took your hands and twined his fingers through yours. He tugged you gently until you slid off the counter and landed on your feet shakily.

“Baby, you’re so amazing,” he placed your hands on his chest and pushed them down his muscled torso and brought them back up beneath his tee shirt, “go on.”

He let you go and you continued to roll up his tee. He dipped his head and raised his arms to help you and you clung to the tee as it fell limp in your grasp. Dazed, he snatched the shirt from your hands and flung it. He once more pressed your hands to his chest and guided you in feeling the lines of his toned flesh.

He pushed your hands against the top of his jeans and leaned into you. He kissed your temple and whispered along your hairline, “turn around, baby.” He squeezed your ass and purred, “mmmm, please, I wanna see that ass.”

You blinked, dazed, and spun slowly. You caught yourself on the edge of the counter as your legs trembled and you heard the subtle zip. He kicked his foot between yours and pushed your legs apart as he led you back so that you were slightly bent against the island. He ran his nails down your back and gripped your hip with one hand as his other drew away from your skin.

You flinched as you felt his smooth tip against your ass and he rubbed it between your cheeks. You inhaled and held in your breath as his hold on your tightened and he angled his dick under your ass and grazed your cunt. He poked your entrance and pressed his chest to your back as his hand covered yours on the granite.

He slid into you and your voice fizzled in the air as he forced the air from your lungs. You pushed your head back and it met his shoulder as his other hand crawled down your front. He spread your folds with his fingers and swirled another around your clit as he tilted his hips and thrust into you slowly.

“Ah, Peter,” you slapped the counter and he shushed you as his hand left yours cold and his fingers stretched over your throat.

His motion picked up as the noise of him crashing into you echoed around the kitchen. Your eyes rolled back as he rammed into you even harder. You were on tiptoes as he was driven by the weak moans that leaked from your lips and your wet pleasure squelched around him. He pressed two fingers to your bud and rubbed until you squeaked and your thighs quaked around him.

“That’s it, baby,” he growled, “I bet you never cum like that for him.”

You whined and he sped up again. He pinned you against the counter so that the lip pressed into your stomach. He took his hand from your cunt and pushed your head down as he kept his other hand around your neck. He didn’t waver once as he fucked you.

“Touch yourself, baby,” he commanded, “I want you to cum again for me. I know you want to too.”

His thick breath warmed the air and grazed your back as he held you down and his hold on your neck tightened until silver stars rose in your vision. Your feet dangled against the tile and you reached down to play with your clit as it buzzed. It was only seconds before you were murmuring in ecstasy once more.

“Fuck, baby, can you feel that? The way your clinging to me,” he puffed as he slammed into you over and over, “he can hardly fill you, can he? Hmmm? Little man.”

You wheezed as he choked you and his other hand kept your head pinned. You heard a distant creak but could barely do more than keep your fingers moving as your heartbeat deafened you. You came again and croaked as your cunt squeezed him hungrily.

“What the fuck?” the voice broke your lusty trance and suddenly you were pulled away from the counter.

Your head lulled as Peter held it up and turned you around, his pelvis slapping against your ass as you faced your husband. Your mouth hung open as your blurred vision barely registered the scene and the deep grunts only got louder behind you.

“Look who’s here,” Peter rasped as he snaked his arm around you.

“The fuck are you doing?” Wesley sneered as your eyes closed and your ass rang with each thrust.

“What you can’t,” Peter snickered, “doesn’t she look so happy?” He grasped your chin and pushed his fingers into your mouth as he held your head up, “well, you into watching or you gonna let us finish, old man?”

#peter parker #dark peter parker #dark!peter parker #fic #peter parker x reader #dark fic #one shot #dark!fic #do us part #marvel #mcu #spider-man #avengers

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salemwritesxx · 3 years

Text

𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓪.

𝕋 𝕒 𝕜 𝕒 𝕞 𝕚 𝕂 𝕖 𝕚 𝕘 𝕠 | ℍ 𝕒 𝕨 𝕜 𝕤

⇴ male reader [25, Vigilantes, quirkless] ⇴ all characters are depicted as [18]+

↳ request: Add on to the ask my bad! {Vigilante reader instead of hero-: When hawks found out he was expecting a baby he immediately kept it a secret from the reader and his friends. Since he doesn't want the hero commission/the public to catch wind of it cause it'll put both of their lives at risk also the public wouldn't be happy to know that their hero is in a relationship with someone who isn't a female- {{Angst!- The hero commission isn't supportive of hawks love life and unborn child_ if they found out about it, they'll probably blackmail the reader into doing their dirty work in exchange for hawks life.) But,, he soon tells the reader after being confronted about his change of behavior and appearance. About 3-4 months into the pregnancy. Time skip to where the kid is born- happy ending🤙🏾

↣ rating: general audiences ↣ warnings: mpreg, size / height difference, lil’ bit of angst with happy ending, discussion of abortion

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

“No… No, no, no. Fuck!”, he cursed quietly.

Staring in disbelief at the little plastic strip, he put it besides two others. All three of them were positive. There was no doubt. Hawks was… pregnant.

Falling back onto the closed toilet seat, he sighed deeply as tears welled up in his eyes. Keigo wasn’t one to cry easily, but right now everything broke apart. How would everyone react? How would the HPSC react? How would you react? Right now, it seemed like his past was catching up to him, what if everything turned out the same? What if history repeated itself? Would his unborn child have to endure so much as well? Wouldn’t it be better, if it was never born-

“Keigo?”, your voice made him snap out of his dark thoughts.

“[Your.name]?”, hastily wiping his tears and pushing the pregnancy tests into the trash, he tried his best to sound calm.

“So you’re here! I was worried, Kei! You ignored my calls.”, when he came out, you stood there leaning against the wall, a worried expression on your face.

“Ah, no. I was just busy, you know? HPSC needed me again today.”, Kei tried his best to lie and put on his best fake smile.

But you still found it suspicious.

“Are you okay, Baby?”, taking a step towards him, your big hand cupped his cheek and your thumb gently wiped over his red, swollen undereye.

Had he been crying? Keigo? That’s rare.

“I am fine, [Your.name], I am fine. What about you though?”, he kept smiling when he pushed away your hand and walked past you into the kitchen.

“I haven’t heard from you in a while, too, ya know?”

“Ah…”, was the only sound you made as you shyly scratched your neck.

“That’s true. I’m sorry if I worried you, Kei. It’s just… I had to hide for a few days. The police were especially pesky and I couldn’t risk being caught.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”, he waved aside, “It’s not like I was worried. I know you can handle yourself just fine.”

This was the last thing you thought you would hear from him, leaving you confused and maybe a little… hurt? Sure, you chose to be a Vigilantes and go out at night to take care of some things your own, but to think your boyfriend wasn’t even worried about you while doing so? Maybe he really did despise what you did and he just never said so out loud. Until now, he had never commented on the illegal things you did, because ultimately, you never destroyed anything and just helped the less unfortunate people, but maybe…

After all, you worried about him constantly and he was a licensed pro-hero, still – many things could happen. Like that, you had a weird feeling that Hawks was not fine at all despite him claiming he was.

And while normally, your little reunion would have been much different, Kei just couldn’t think about anything at that point. All he was thinking about was the baby growing inside of him and what he should do about it…

As weeks went by, you noticed Hawks was changing. His excuse of being “bloated” was weird and got old quickly. Furthermore had your relationship taken a big hit. Few kisses and almost no touching. It almost seemed like he was uncomfortable constantly. You wondered what it all was about. Was it just over? Did your relationship just slip right through your fingers and you couldn’t do anything about it?

Usually, when you were both home, the apartment was filled with dumb laughter. It was so nice being around you, but all Keigo was in the past few weeks was anxious, quiet and easily agitated. His home was his safe place, it’s where he could forget everything and relax. Not think about his work, about the HPSC, but with your child growing consistently, it was harder and harder to relax. In just a few weeks, someone who had a keen eye could probably tell that he wasn’t “bloated” anymore. Instead, he didn’t know what to do anymore.

Then, one day, it must have been around the fourth month of his pregnancy, someone rang the doorbell in the middle of the night. First, Keigo wanted to ignore it, however, as they kept ringing, a thought popped into his head. He hadn’t seen you in about a week, which wasn’t unusual per se as you had to hide from time to time, but for you to not contact him at all was a little… odd. Were you in trouble? Did they find about your connection to him?

Hence, with his own feather in his hand, he was ready to defend himself as he made his way to the door. The rain was drumming against the windows mercilessly. Perfect distraction if someone wanted to raid him.

Though, when he swung open the door, ready to cut anyone and anything, it all came differently. A large body was leaning against the side of the door.

“[Your.name]!”, his golden eyes widened as your own [eye.color] ones looked quite lifeless.

Before Hawks could do anything, you couldn’t hold yourself upright anymore, thus falling through the opened door. Quickly reacting, he caught you, but being so much smaller than you, his feathers had to help lift you and get you inside his apartment. Only then, when he pulled his hands back did he realize what was on his hands and what he had thought to be water, was actually blood.

His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. Rushing to your side, he literally ripped open your black coat and what was underneath, revealing a gaping wound on your side.

“Kei…”, you suddenly croaked, trying to reach out your hand, which he immediately grabbed and squeezed tightly.

“Don’t talk, [Your.name]! Everything will be alright, okay?!”, he visibly panicked.

He could hide his feelings very well. At least usually. But not this time. Maybe it was because he was hormonal due to the pregnancy, but just the thought of losing you made him cry. Hastily standing back up, he rushed into the bathroom to grab some towels and into the bedroom to get his phone.

“I… I didn’t know… where else to go… Kei…”, you coughed up a bit of blood, even though he had told you to not talk anymore.

“I know, I know. It’s okay, Baby.”, hugging you against his chest, all he could do was sob, “Everything will be alright, okay?!”

With a thumping heart, Hawks stood in front of the door for a few moments, before he knocked and entered eventually.

“Oh! Kei!”, you were just eating your pudding.

“[Your.name]!”, without holding back, he rushed towards your bed and jumped you.

However, hearing your painful whimper due to the ecstatic hug, he immediately pulled back with a small “I’m sorry.”

You, however, just shook your head and put the pudding and spoon away before gesturing him to come closer again.

“No, it’s okay, come here.”, you said with a soft smile as you pulled him in again.

Keigo just following your movement, scooching closer and in the end, hugging you again when you wrapped your own bandaged arms around him. You were so much more beat up than he initially thought…

“Thank you for saving me, Baby. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“You did!”, sitting back up, his golden eyes were shimmering, “I was so worried about you.”

“Ehh? Didn’t you say you weren’t worried about me a few months ago?”, you just teased him, but Keigo was hormonal and highly stressed, so he reacted way too violently when tears welled up in his eyes.

“I know… But you know I like to talk big sometimes.”, he sniffled.

Quickly, you reached out to softly cup his face and wipe away the tears.

“I know. Hey… Kei. Tell me what’s going on, hm?”

“Huh?”, his golden eyes widened a bit as he stared at you.

“Baby… I know something’s going on. Things haven’t been normal lately and you act different, too. Tell me, if it’s something I did, I can change. I will do anything, but please be honest with me already… Last night, I thought, that’s it. I thought I’d die with things being so weird between us. It was horrible to think about it…”

Looking around for a moment, you were the only one in this room and even if it wasn’t the best location to finally say it out loud, Keigo just couldn’t continue to lie. He had wanted to get an abortion three times and canceled every time because he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Clearly, he wanted this baby. And he wanted you to know, it was just all so… complicated.

“Kei…”, you squeezed his hand one more time.

“Okay…”, sitting down on the bed properly, his other hand reached out as well, needing every bit of comfort and support he could get.

“I…”, biting his lip, he hesitated for a moment before looking up and straight into your eyes, “I am pregnant.”

Your eyes widened and for a second, you just stared at him in disbelief.

“Wait… you…? Really?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh my God… that explains a lot.”, you kind of laughed while shaking your head, but then you realized something.

“Wait… How long...?”

“17th week… Do you not understand, [Your.name]? I am pregnant.”

“Yes, I understand quite well and I think that’s amazing.”, you squeezed his hands again, a big smile on your lips.

“No, no! You don’t get it, [Your.name]!”, Hawks then suddenly stood up, “This is not amazing. Do you know what that means?”, he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“Kei…”

“We are fucked, [Your.name]. Do you know what happens when the HPSC or the public finds out? Let alone who the father is? What if… What if our baby has to endure everything I had to endure? What if… I become like them? Or what if the HPSC finds out and takes them away from us?”, his voice broke a little at the end, just imagining it…

“Keigo, hey.”, you turned around and placed your feet onto the ground, sitting on the edge of the bed, hence why you could take his hands again and pull him closer.

“You will never become like them.”, you cupped his face, gently wiping the tears away from the corner of his eyes.

“And, Kei, you already made a decision, no? You want to keep the baby – our baby – right? It’s already the fourth month…”

“I do… But… I don’t know what I should do. I am not myself, [Your.name]. I keep crying over stupid things, I can't concentrate when I’m doing my work and I am always scared someone finds out.”, eventually, you pulled him onto your lap, though he was careful not to hurt your side.

“I know you’re scared, Baby. I am too, but we can do it. Together. I will be with you every step. I will protect you.”

“[Your.name]…”, wrapping his arms around you, he buried his face in the nook of your neck, his small frame shaking.

“It’s okay. I’m here, Kei. And I won’t go, ever. We will do it together. And I promise… I promise I will stop going out during the night.”, you whispered this promise into his ear, earning his small sniffles as he clung to you.

“Our baby doesn’t have to grow up in isolation because of my recklessness. I will become a good father. They will have a great life, okay, Kei? We can do it. Whatever the HPSC throws at us, we will deal with it, together. I promise they won’t grow up like you had to.”

The last thing surely broke him as Hawks barely whispered a “Mhm.” back. But at the same time he was smiling, so grateful he was finally able to let you know as the last few months were really straining.

---

“I wish you were never born! You are a nuisance! You keep me from being free!”

“Why did I not get an abortion? Why did I do this to myself? You good for nothing!”

“-go! -igo! Keigo!”, his golden eyes opened at last.

Breathing heavily and with beads of sweat running down his temple, Hawks stared at you for a moment. Still not really sure what just happened the realization sank in little by little. A dream.

“[Your.name]…”

“Hey, I’m here. It’s okay now.”, you whispered and gently kissed him, before hugging him tightly.

Melting into your arms instantly, he buried his face at your chest as one hand reached down to his growing belly. He would probably pop soon.

“It’s weird… I haven’t thought or dreamt about them in over ten years and now… ever since I found out I’m pregnant… I …”, he mumbled more than anything, glad you were there to hold him.

“I know.”, was the only thing you whispered back while gently caressing his back.

When the HPSC trained him, he forgot, or rather suppressed most of his abusive and traumatic childhood. Maybe it was because he worried so much about your little baby that it all came crashing down on him eventually. But he would never become like them.

“Oh-“, both of you felt a little kick, making you giggle.

“Seems like our little baby girl wants to cheer you up as well.”, you whispered and nuzzled his head with your own while your hand reached out to his belly as well, softly caressing it.

“Seems like it.”, Keigo finally smiled a little.

“We will protect her.”, he quietly said after stealing a soft kiss from you.

“We will. And hey, the public took it really well when we outed us. The HPSC can’t do shit to hurt us anymore.”

“Yeah, I know. Thank God.”, cupping your cheek, Kei pulled you down again, before whispering against your lips, “Thank you.”

“Mhmh, for what?”, you chuckled and kissed him again, making him also giggle.

“Just… for everything. I love you, [Your.name].”

Smiling softly at him, you pecked his lips again and whispered an, “I love you too.”

For a few moments, it was quiet as you just cuddled and tried to calm down the excited little girl who was kicking and punching Hawks.

“Say… how do you feel, though? You haven’t been out in-“, but another kiss stopped him from continuing.

“I am perfectly fine, Shortcake. It… was hard, but it was the right decision. You are more important than anything or anyone else, and now with our little nugget growing… what we have is just so much more important to me than vigilante justice.”

The smile that spread across his face was truly warming your heart. It was the right decision and you wouldn’t regret it. You knew how hard his childhood was and you didn’t want that for your baby girl. She should be able to proudly say who her parents were and for that reason, you couldn’t continue your former lifestyle.

After sharing a few more kisses, Hawks then asked for cuddles, which you happily agreed to. Hence letting him shift positions and turn around, careful not to hit you with his wings, he hugged his pregnancy pillow. And then, you slipped your own arms around him, hugging him carefully and littering small kisses onto his neck.

He was so small in your arms, but that’s what he had loved from day one on. Keigo felt protected and loved when he was in your arms.

Calling out for you, Keigo carried the groceries into the kitchen, just to bite his lip instantly when he saw you laying on the sofa. Your little baby girl sprawled out on top of your broad chest, sleeping. Once Hawks came a little closer, he realized you were sleeping as well, thus with a soft smile he just kneeled down in front of the sofa.

“What would I do without you, [Your.name]? You two are seriously the light of my life.”, he thought with a big smile on his lips.

To think he was so incredibly sad when he found out, he couldn’t be more happier now. Everything turned out alright after all, just like you said. Leaning in, Hawks gently kissed his baby girl’s forehead before standing up again, leaving you and Tsubasa alone – at least that was his intention.

However, a soft tug on his clothes made him stop. And a glance back made him smile and turn once more, following your movement and laying down beside you, softly tucked under your arm, just where he belonged.

There were no words needed as you softly kissed him before your head fell back into the pillow. Your arm securely holding him and Tsubasa and just like that, you were able to hold the whole world in your arms.

And it certainly wasn’t any different for Keigo.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

⇻ salem.talks: I think I repeat myself every time I write for him but… KEIGO IS SO TINY ovo probably cuz I absolutely adore the EndHawk ship and their size difference gives me life? so I cannot help but make it happen when I write x reader with kei. like I can just dream of being as tall and buff as endeavor lmao but yeah this was nice I love preggo hawks!

#salemswriting.#hawks #takami keigo #hawks x reader #hawks x male reader #bnha x male reader #bottom hawks #pregnant hawks #mpreg #bnha x reader

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whitesparrows97 · 3 years

Text

Love is a foolish thing

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x female reader

Warnings: drinking of alcohol, swear words, angst, mean people, jealousy, minor injuries, explicit sexual content including oral (female receiving, indication of male receiving), fingering, light spanking, little bit of dirty talk, protected and unprotected sex

Genre: Strangers to friends with benefits to lovers

Summary: Falling in love… it sounded so simple. Falling. Like one wrong step, a small stumble and you were deeply in love. But there was nothing easy about love.

Word Count: 20K

Note: My tumblr nearly crashed while trying to post this story because it’s too long. I really have no idea how that happened, I just couldn’t control myself. So nothing new. But what is new is the banner. This is the first time I created one (goodbye using gifs from tumblr) and I really hope you like it. (The gif of van Gogh’s Starry Night is not mine and I found it on giphy. The picture of Taehyung he posted himself when they were touring in Berlin.)

Also a little disclaimer: English is not my first language so please excuse any mistakes! I’d normally split a story this long into chapters but because this is a story for the btswritersclub fic exchange, I decided to post it as a oneshot. I really hope you’ll like it @taetaesbaebaepsae !

intro: new beginnings

He felt the thumping bass throughout his body and welcomed the tingling sensation on his skin with a wide grin as he pushed his way through the crowd. His gaze slid over the countless faces as he passed them; most of whom he had seen before on campus or at previous parties.

Faces were what he could remember.

The bone structure of the face, how their hair framed their face, their facial expressions… These were all things that could not be easily changed and what made a person unique. No matter how much they changed, dyed their hair or cut it off altogether, wore a lot of makeup or none at all – there was something that didn’t change, no matter how hard they tried. And that’s exactly what Taehyung saw in people, which was why it was easy for him to recognize people, even if he had only run into someone once in the hallway.

For a long time, it had felt like a curse to Taehyung. Nowadays, he knew how to use that gaze to his advantage. It helped him especially in his studies and his art teacher had praised him more than once for having that special sight.

There was one thing, however, that he had a lot of trouble with.

“Hi, Taehyung!” A young man appeared in front of him, shouting against the loud music.

Taehyung shifted his gaze down to look the shorter man in the eye. The young man grinned at him, a bit wryly and a red plastic cup in one hand, which judging by his already glazed look was not his first cup of the evening.

He put on a smile and nodded. “Hey…”

Names were the thing he just couldn’t remember, for the life of him. He was glad he knew his best friend’s name after all these years. Even if every now and then he found himself thinking before it thankfully came back to him. It was frustrating to know so many people, to recognize them, but to have forgotten what their name was.

Taehyung didn’t wait for an answer, but with another smile apologized to the young man in front of him, who had already started moving clumsily to the music again. Taehyung doubted that he even noticed that Taehyung had disappeared.

He gave a wide berth to the area in the center of the room that had been chosen as the dance floor this evening and instead kept close to the walls. From there, he could get a rough idea of who all had come to this party on a Thursday night.

Despite the loud music, he could hear the loud voices, buzzing conversations and peals of laughter. Here and there, yelling mingled in. The first visitors to the party were already clinging to the shoulders and upper arms of their friends, which were the only reason they were still standing upright.

Taehyung shook his head, laughing softly when he saw this. He hadn’t been that late; a glance at his watch showed him that the party had only started a little over an hour ago. But it was summer, which meant that the semester would soon be over. And with that came all the exams, so Taehyung couldn’t blame anyone for needing time off from studying.

As he looked over the various groups of people, his gaze lingered on a face he didn’t recognize.

Intrigued, he slowed in his walk.

He frowned and his smile disappeared as he looked at you intently from head to toe. His father had once described this facial expression as his “artist’s expression”. When he was so engrossed in a painting or drawing that he didn’t notice how his eyebrows drew together and deep wrinkles formed in his forehead. Even now he could hear his mother scolding him that the wrinkles eventually wouldn’t go away anymore.

When he had explained to her that wrinkles told more stories than words ever could, that they were charismatic, she had shaken her head with a smile.

Taehyung’s gaze lingered on your lips, which had formed into a relaxed smile as you listened to someone talking to you. Min Yoongi, his best friend and a music student in his final semester.

Taehyung didn’t know what the two of you were talking about or if you knew each other, but you seemed to get along well.

He continued to watch you for a brief moment before you seemed apologetic and then disappeared towards the kitchen with your cup in hand. Determined, Taehyung walked towards his best friend and when he was only a few feet away, Yoongi looked up.

“Hey,” the older of the two said, nodding at Taehyung. He took a sip from his cup and let his gaze roam the room, just as Taehyung had done moments before.

“Hi,” he greeted back, eyeing Yoongi for a moment. “Who was that?”

Yoongi laughed into his cup and shook his head with a grin. “You must know everything and everyone, don’t you?”

Taehyung shrugged, but didn’t contradict him. “I just like to get to know the people I study with.”

Yoongi snorted at his statement. “Even if I told you her name, you’d forget it in half an hour anyway.”

Taehyung couldn’t object to that either. It probably wouldn’t even take half an hour. Sometimes Taehyung felt as if names went into the one ear and right out the other without even a brief stopover at his brain.

“You know,” Yoongi began, raising an eyebrow, “women usually aren’t too keen on being called by the wrong name by mistake. Just a little advice.”

Now Taehyung was the one who snorted. “Thanks, you seem to know a lot about that. Should be a little careful with your new girlfriend. Just a little advice for you,” he repeated Yoongi’s statement and Yoongi grinned.

For a moment there was silence between the two men. Only the loud, booming music and the buzz of voices filled the pause between them.

“Y/N,” Yoongi then suddenly said, “her name is Y/N. She studied in another city before and came to this university for her master’s.”

“What did she study?”

“Why don’t you ask her that yourself if you’re so interested?”

Taehyung raised his glass, which was almost empty anyway, downed it in one gulp and made his way to the kitchen where you had disappeared to.

. . .

“So you’re Y/N. Right?” Taehyung didn’t show how proud he was that he had been able to remember your name.

You nodded and waited for him to introduce himself. “Well… Are you going to tell me yours or do I have to guess?” you asked after a short silence when he kept studying your face but no words came out of his mouth.

“Oh, sure,” he blurted out, startled by this question for a second, “I’m Taehyung.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his hand twitch, as if he wanted to shake your hand and you had to stifle a grin.

But Taehyung had seen the corners of your mouth move upward. “Are you laughing at me?” he asked, holding a hand to his heart in feigned hurt.

“No, no,” you placated him, but any further attempt to explain was interrupted by your laughter rising inside you. Taehyung looked at you through narrowed eyes for another moment before a grin spread across his face as well.

You liked his smile. You noticed it right away, even though you had only been talking for a few minutes.

Your gaze lingered on his lips for a moment too long and when you looked back into his eyes, his grin had widened even more and there was an amused glint in his gaze that hadn’t been there before.

You had to avert your gaze and let your eyes wander around the kitchen. You didn’t know what it was, but his gaze made you nervous. It was intense. As if he was looking right through you.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked, bringing you back from your thoughts.

Instead of giving an answer, you took his hand and led him back to the living room.

The dance floor had not emptied in the meantime, rather the opposite was the case. By now most of the guests at the party were crowding onto it, so that the entire room had become a dance floor. And even the people who were standing on the sidelines and preferred to watch the spectacle from a distance were persuaded to dance.

You made your way past sweaty bodies until you finally found a place where you could move a little more freely. The song that was playing was energetic and fast – and while the other people around you were jumping up and down, singing along loudly and off-key to the lyrics, Taehyung surprised you when he put an arm on your waist and pulled you close to him.

The two glasses of alcohol you had already drunk were slowly but surely making themselves noticeable. A pleasant warmth flooded through you as you felt Taehyung’s strong hands on your hips, moving you to the beat of the music. That, and the fact he smiled at you whenever you locked eyes made your heart beat a little faster.

Especially when his thumb drew little circles on the small sliver of bare skin where your shirt had ridden up. The air was stuffy and sweaty, but at that moment you didn’t mind it one bit.

Taehyung leaned forward and your breath hitched when his lips touched your ear as he said, “You’re beautiful.”

You waited with your eye roll until Taehyung had leaned back again, so he definitely caught your gesture. Immediately, his eyebrows shot up.

Now it was up to you to lean forward. “Can’t you think of anything better?”

Taehyung thought for a moment, and if you hadn’t felt his hand on your lower back, pulling you closer and closer to him with each movement, you would have thought he was completely lost in thought.

But then you saw the corners of his mouth twitch up as he tried to suppress the grin.

Again he leaned forward toward you, but this time he didn’t speak directly. Instead, you first felt his lips against the shell of your ear, and then gasped in surprise as he gently bit your sensitive skin. The deep, throaty laugh that followed sent jolts of electricity through your veins.

“I could also say that you look incredibly hot and caught my eye as soon as I arrived.”

You were completely stilled in your movements and the hand that had been on your hip before had crept up to your neck. His slender, long fingers danced on your sweaty skin and your eyes fluttered closed as you savored the sensation he and his fingers were causing.

You almost forgot about his lips against your ear, which made you flinch as Taehyung spoke the rest of his sentence. “And none of it would be a lie.”

When you opened your eyes again, the hand had disappeared from your neck and resumed its place on your hip. You didn’t speak a word, your looks said enough. And when your eyes wandered lower for a moment and came to rest on his lips with that mischievous grin, the outcome of the evening was sealed.

. . .

Your back hit the wall behind you and you let out a soft “Oh” in surprise. Taehyung took the opportunity and his tongue slipped between your open lips into your mouth. You moaned as he explored your mouth, which spurred Taehyung on even more.

His hands traveled down your torso, down your sides, and finally grasped your hips. Then he pulled you tighter against him so that you were locked between him and the wall behind you. Even though you didn’t feel locked in at all. You hadn’t felt this free in a long time.

Your hands reached out between your two bodies on his torso, and you felt the muscles under his shirt twitch as your fingertips brushed almost delicately over sensitive areas. His lips turned into a grin before he kissed you passionately again.

His fingers wandered lower and finally wrapped around one of your thighs. They dug pleasantly into your flesh, making you hum contentedly. With a sudden exclamation of surprise from you, he lifted your leg and the moan you both gave as your hips met was muffled when your lips crashed into each other once again.

But it wasn’t just his hips you felt against yours. You felt him hard, right between your legs as he circled his hips against yours.

He wandered his mouth along your jaw first before kissing down your neck. “You are so receptive to my touch,” he said softly, but in the otherwise silent room, his voice sounded loud and clear. His hot breath tickled you, making you shiver as Taehyung ran his tongue along your neck.

“Sorry,” you laughed softly when you shuddered again as his tongue explored the contours of your collarbone.

His grip around your hip and thigh strengthened before he let go of your neck and straightened up. He released one hand and gently stroked your hot cheeks with it as his gaze darted back and forth between your eyes. “You never have to apologize for being sensitive to touch. That just tells me I’m doing everything right.”

And how right he was.

“Do you have condoms?”

Your question made him pause, and a second later he gently let your leg slide back to the floor. He seemed to think for a moment, an index finger pressed to his lips before he stuck it up in the air as if he had a sudden idea. You watched as he walked toward the bed and opened the nightstand drawer. He rummaged around in it for a moment, and you grimaced as you thought about Taehyung digging around in other people’s things.

“Bingo,” Taehyung exclaimed, reaching into the drawer and tossing a package onto the made bed. “Unopened,” Taehyung added as he turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t be mean,” you said, but had to smile as well. His smile was contagious. “Just be glad the person doesn’t seem to be having that much sex… it’s to our benefit right now.”

“That,” Taehyung countered, “or that’s a new pack because he just fucks a lot.”

You couldn’t hold back your grunt when you heard his statement, that’s how dryly he said it. “Whose room is this, anyway?”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung said and looking around for a moment.

You didn’t need to check, because you couldn’t have known the person. It could even be Taehyung’s room for all you knew. You didn’t even know who the host was at that party. A girl, Grace, from one of your seminars had approached you yesterday and invited you. You hadn’t seen her all evening and wondered if she had shown up yet.

With slow and deliberate steps, you walked toward the bed in front of which he stood. As you came to a stop in front of him, you noticed his frown in the dim light. “What is it?”

“I hope you don’t think of me as being unprepared or expecting us not to use contraception.” He held your gaze as if he were watching every little emotion in your face. “I didn’t plan on doing this tonight, so I didn’t come prepared.”

Your hands wandered up along his sides, feeling the muscles under his T-shirt. “So,” you said softly, looking back up at him, “you don’t do this kind of thing often?”

A mischievous grin had stolen onto his face in return. “Occasionally,” he admitted with a shrug, “but probably less often than you’re thinking right now.”

You were about to reply something when suddenly the door was yanked open behind you and the music from the living room could be heard more clearly all at once. Surprised, you turned around.

“Oh,” a guy laughed when he caught sight of the two of you. A girl stumbled into him as he stopped so suddenly in the doorway.

“This place seems to be occupied,” the girl laughed now, too, eyeing the two of you.

Her boyfriend – or acquaintance – also caught her glance. “Or are you two interested in–”

“No,” Taehyung said firmly, before the other could fully ask his question. He stepped out from behind you and it only took a few long strides before he arrived at the door. “We’re not. Thank you.” With those words, he pushed them both out of the room and closed the door. “Shit,” he muttered.

With nimble fingers, you opened the box of condoms and grabbed one before heading towards the door as well. Taehyung had leaned forward and seemed to be examining something on the door. Or rather, something that wasn’t there.

“What’s wrong?”

He straightened up again and made a head movement toward the lock. “There’s no key.”

“Okay?” you asked, “Is that a problem?” Your fingers gently stroked his upper arm, squeezing it once firmly, and Taehyung understood. He raised an eyebrow and the next moment he spun you around and your back hit something again, this time it was the door. There was a dull thud as your back hit the wood and you felt it give in from Taehyung’s strength. You just hoped it would hold for the next few minutes…

“Not at all,” he whispered in your ear and you bit your lower lip to stifle the wanting moan that almost fell over your lips. You closed your eyes to fully concentrate on Taehyung’s lips, his teeth which left red and blue marks on your sensitive skin.

Your eyes fluttered open in surprise, however, as Taehyung’s lips suddenly disappeared and he slid down to the floor so that he was kneeling in front of you. His eyelashes cast long shadows in the dim light of the bedside lamp, and absentmindedly you brushed his hair out of his face.

“I know I’m repeating myself and that you don’t want to hear it, but you’re so beautiful.” His long fingers found their way under your top and every little bit of skin he bared was covered by his lips a short time later. What remained was heat – heat that coursed through you and eventually accumulated in your abdomen.

You were about to pull him back to his feet by his shoulders when his fingers found your jeans button and a moment later you heard the opening of a zipper. His hand found yours, which was still clinging to the condom as if it were an anchor and which he took from you before guiding your hand to his head. As you looked down at yourself, fingers buried in his hair as if you’d done it umpteen times before, your eyes met.

Lust and mischievousness were in his gaze, the smirk hidden from your perspective, but you saw the glint in his eyes as he pulled down your pants along with your underwear.

. . .

“And then he went down on me.”

“He what?” Grace looked at you in surprise.

You cleared your throat. Your cheeks were warm and you tried to avoid her curious gaze. “He went down on me.”

You wanted to end this conversation as quickly as you could. You didn’t even remember how Grace had talked you into telling her about last Thursday in the first place. But Grace had pestered you for so long, until you finally caved in. She had seen you disappear into that bedroom with Taehyung, which was why you couldn’t deny anything.

“Oh. Wow.”

“Oh, come on,” you said, trying to downplay the subject. With a little more force than necessary, you shut your laptop and shoved it into your backpack. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You bet it is,” she whispered-shouted, earning a few scowls from the nearby students. She quickly apologized to them in a softer tone. “You bet it is,” she repeated, quieter this time, as you walked toward the library exit. “No guy does this on a one night stand.”

“I’m sure there are some.”

“You wouldn’t give a blow job either, would you?” she completely bypassed your argument.

The door slammed shut behind you and you took one deep breath. You loved the fresh evening air in early summer… especially when you had been sitting in the stuffy library for hours. Even though some loved the smell of the old books and dusty paper, it mainly caused you a headache and the unspeakable pressure before your next exams.

“I’m just saying,” Grace continued to explain, “you can’t be sure if the person is clean.”

“I am clean,” you muttered, feeling a little affronted. “I told him that beforehand.”

“On the other hand, yeah, he can wear a condom I guess. Hmm…”

For a moment, you wondered if you were in a parallel universe, where Grace was walking the path to the dorm alone and therefore not responding to you. But then she turned around and looked at you with waggling eyebrows. “Did you come?”

“Grace,” you sighed, wanting the questioning to stop. Instead of answering her, you countered, “I should have just ignored you those few weeks ago when you sat down next to me in the seminar.”

“And would be alone to this day? That would be so sad.”

You rolled your eyes. “At least then I wouldn’t have to let you pepper me with your questions.”

“True again,” she said with a shrug, “but then you wouldn’t have anyone to brag to about the great sex you had either.”

You said nothing in reply, but kept your gaze firmly focused on the building a few hundred feet in front of you.

“Or miserable sex we can make fun of?”

That elicited an annoyed groan from you, and finally a shake of your head. “First of all, we don’t make fun of anyone at all, no matter how good or bad someone is in bed.”

“Okay, Miss Diplomacy.” A pause arose and it amused you to see Grace growing more impatient by the second. “Okay and so what? So was he good?”

Sighing, you nodded, “Yes, he was.” Before Grace could clap her hands in delight, you quickly added, “I didn’t come, though.” The words came out of your mouth faster than normal.

She just snorted, though. “Then trust me, this won’t be the last time.”

You raised an eyebrow. “We both agreed that this will be a one time thing.”

“Well, look at it this way,” she began, and with a beep, her student ID was confirmed and the glass door to the building slid open. “Did he notice you didn’t come?” You nodded. “Then he’ll certainly have the urge to prove himself all over again.”

You thought for a moment, letting Grace’s words run through your mind. “Oh, I don’t know. It wasn’t because of him.”

“Then what was it about? Couldn’t you relax?”

You nodded again. “The whole situation was unfortunate,” you began to explain in more detail. “I felt like someone was going to burst into the room at any moment and–” You bit your lip, trying not to say the rest of the sentence.

Grace gave you a meaningful look. “And?”

You had arrived outside your room and nervously played with your key card. “It’s just…” Ringing for words, you looked down at the floor until you finally looked up in frustration. Grace looked at you patiently, seeming to notice how hard it was for you to talk about it. “He was so… gentle.”

When Grace heard that, she had to grunt.

“Hey,” you countered, smacking her on the upper arm.

“Ouch.” She grimaced as she rubbed the sore spot. “Would you have preferred him to be rough?”

You tilted your head and considered. Grace laughed when she saw that.

“I’m just saying,” you said, now serious again, “No one night stand I’ve had has tried this hard. I guess, I’m just a bit surprised, that’s all.”

“Then why don’t you talk to Taehyung,” Grace replied, still a grin on her face as she walked backwards down the hall to her room, “Maybe he won’t try so hard next time.” You could still hear her giggling, even as she disappeared around the corner and out of your field of vision.

. . .

falling into habits

Taehyung moaned and thrust deeply into you one last time before coming to a stop inside of you. He braced himself on his forearms to avoid crushing you under his weight while you both caught your breath. Silently you lay in Taehyung’s bed before he finally reached between your bodies, held the condom tightly, and pulled out before finally rolling off of you.

He didn’t bother to get up and dispose of the used condom, just tied it together, lazily wrapped it in a tissue, and rolled back onto his back so that he was lying next to you.

For a moment you lay like that next to each other, completely detached from the world that was going on outside Taehyung’s apartment and instead in one where only the two of you existed.

But then you picked yourself up with a discontented sigh, and awkwardly climbed over Taehyung, who made an attempt to hold you by the waist. Laughing softly, you batted his hands aside and a second later your bare feet came into contact with the carpet.

Your fingers found your panties and quickly you slipped them back on. So did your jeans and your T-shirt. You glanced back and saw Taehyung still lying naked in his bed, on his stomach now, while the bedspread covered his lower half. Your gaze slid down his trained back nonetheless, and you bit your lips as images of the last few minutes popped into your head. Or rather hours, as you silently cursed when you glanced at your phone.

You heard Taehyung laughing tiredly behind you. “Why’re you cursing?”

As you continued to gather the rest of your things, you briefly glanced over your shoulder back at the bed. Taehyung had turned his head so he could watch you.

“I’m late,” you explained to him, stuffing your belongings into your bag, which you unceremoniously slipped on.

Taehyung groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

“Can’t you skip it and stay here instead?” His voice sounded muffled and you wanted to go back the few steps to run your fingers through his tousled hair.

But you couldn’t.

“I’ll see you in a few days.”

“That’s not soon enough,” he whined and shook his head.

“I think my group would kill me if I didn’t come to the meeting. Besides,” you added a little louder, worried that Taehyung would fall asleep otherwise, “I’m already grateful to them for accepting me into their group in the middle of the semester in the first place. I don’t want to cause any more inconvenience.”

You heard only a displeased murmur from Taehyung’s direction and threw a quick goodbye into the room before leaving his apartment.

The walk to the campus took you half an hour, even if you hurried. However, you could use the time well to reflect on the last weeks.

After your conversation with Grace, it had only taken a few days for you to receive a message from an unknown number. Yoongi had given your phone number to Taehyung through Grace – which Grace had commented with an “I told you so” – and a day later you had met up.

This time hadn’t been at a party, but at his home, and quickly one thing had led to another. You hadn’t even taken a seat on the sofa properly before your lips had crashed into each other.

You had never talked about where this was going with you – and if it was going anywhere at all – but for now you were pleased with how easy everything was with Taehyung. You were on the same wavelength, he made you laugh, and the sex was good. Great even. That’s all you needed right now. And honestly, that’s all you wanted right now. Relationships meant drama and in the end at least one person got hurt.

Out of breath, but fairly punctual, you arrived at the workroom where you had arranged to meet your group. The others were already there, but no one seemed to mind that you had arrived a few minutes late.

You spent the next two hours putting together the topics you had worked on and writing them into the presentation. You had been surprised when you first met and found out that everyone had done their work. You worked hard and expected the same from others, and as you had explained to Taehyung, you were glad that the group had accepted you at all.

After all, by then well over half of the semester had passed, and in the beginning you had inevitably set the group back in their schedule. While the others had already been working on comparing the similarities and differences between their novels from The Modern Period, you had been reading your novel and gathering notes at lightning speed so that you could now sit together and pretty much finish the presentation. Each of the four of you would still have to write your own essay, but you knew you could do that in two to three days. You had all the information, so all you had to do was put it on paper.

Relieved and satisfied, you sighed as your bones cracked when you stretched your arms high above your head and arched your back.

“Wow, we really got something done today,” Toni said, visibly satisfied as she scrolled through the presentation one last time.

An approving nod went through the group and Thomas also closed his laptop with a quiet click.

“Do you want to join us for a drink?” Mia looked at you through her delicate glasses, which she pushed back up her nose with an index finger.

You didn’t have to think twice, because you were happy about any invitation. So a smile spread across your face before you nodded.

Conversations and laughter accompanied you down the stairs and you were so engrossed in a conversation with Toni that you didn’t notice the person waiting in front of the entrance of the building. It was only when you heard your name called out to you that you turned your attention to the person.

Taehyung, you realized with surprise.

“Hi,” you greeted him, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, “what are you doing here?”

“Hey you. I thought I’d pick you up.” He had both hands buried in the pockets of his sweatpants and had thrown on a hoodie to protect himself against the coolness of the summer evening.

You took the few steps back to Taehyung, noticing at the edge of your awareness how the others’ conversations had fallen silent.

“Pick me up? For what?”

Taehyung shrugged. “Yoongi and Grace invited us. I think they both wanted to watch this new movie that started in theaters a few days ago.”

“Oh.” You looked over your shoulder at the others and saw the three of them glance quickly to the side before your eyes could meet.

“Oh?” Taehyung repeated, taking his hands out of his pockets. Some disappointment spread across his face, as if he had expected a different answer.

You heard a “Is that Kim Taehyung from Fine Arts?” and a “Fine he is definitely,” which made you pause for a moment.

“Well… I uhm, I actually wanted to go out with the others. They just asked me if I wanted to join them.” You pointed your thumb over your shoulder to the group, which had now started whispering quietly.

“Ah I see,” Taehyung said and his grin was back when he heard that, “So you’re making friends?”

“Taehyung,” you said, your voice sounding more whiny than you had intended.

“It’s all good,” he laughed and before you knew what was happening, he had put an arm around you and pulled you against him for a moment. You froze, surprised about the sudden public display of affection.

His perfume was still in your nose even when he had already let go of you and taken a step away. “Have a nice evening then. Text me when you get home okay or need someone to pick you up. I’ll stay awake until then.”

And without further ado, he smiled at you again before walking past you. As he passed the group, he waved to them and again wished you a good evening. You watched as he grew smaller and smaller in the twilight of the evening, the farther away he got, before finally disappearing behind a corner.

All evening you couldn’t get his grin and the scent of his perfume out of your mind and nose. And more than once you wondered if it would have been better if you’d made a different choice.

. . .

what am I to you?

The apartment door was yanked open, revealing a beaming, smiling Grace.

“Hello, you two,” she greeted you with a sly smile before stepping aside, thus allowing you into the apartment. “Did you find your way here okay? When I first came to Seokjin’s apartment I got lost.”

You kicked your shoes off your feet and whispered a “thank you” at Taehyung as he took them from you and placed them neatly next to the countless others.

“Sure,” he answered Grace’s question, straightening up again.

In the narrow hallway, he looked huge, as if his shoulders were almost touching the two walls. You could only see his back as you walked to the voices that seemed to be coming from the living room. Music was clearly audible playing over the stereo, but quiet enough that you could talk without having to shout. You couldn’t deny the slight nervous tingle that had formed on your skin.

Your eyes fell on Taehyung’s hand. You would only have to stretch out your arm a little and then your fingers would touch his fingertips.

Your arm, which had lifted slightly on its own, fell limply back to your side. You kept your hands to yourself, even though nervousness was spreading through you. Like a balloon, it inflated before bursting as you stepped through the door into the room. Ten, twelve faces looked up as the three of you entered the room. You were relieved that there was no big fuss about it, but the others greeted you briefly and then continued in their conversation, which you had interrupted.

You took a seat on the sofa next to a girl you didn’t know. But she looked nice.

Unnoticed, your eyes followed Taehyung, who took a seat at the other end of the sofa and returned Yoongi’s handshake. The two of them jumped right into an animated conversation.

You were so focused on the two of them that you didn’t notice the look the girl next to you was giving you. Until she finally cleared her throat and you winced, caught and startled.

“Sorry,” she smiled apologetically at you, “I didn’t quite catch your name. What’s your name again?”

“Y/N.” You had to clear your throat as only a croak came out at first. “And what’s your name?”

“Emilia, but feel free to call me Emmy.” She gave you another genuine smile, which you returned. Even your last bit of nervousness fell away from you as you lapsed into pleasant small talk over the next few minutes.

It got even easier as Grace placed a glass of freshly mixed cocktail in front of you on the coffee table and dropped to the floor at your feet. You were all the more relieved to have her by your side and not have to answer every question, but to sink into the back of the sofa for a moment and just follow the conversation.

Inevitably, your gaze slid to Taehyung and it surprised you when your eyes met.

When Taehyung saw this, he grinned at you. You had talked on the way about how awkward it was for you that he knew all the other guests and you knew no one except for him and Grace, and a bit of Yoongi, though mostly from Grace’s or Taehyung’s stories.

That’s why you could interpret his grin well. You knew what he was going to say, even if you didn’t have a chance to talk right now.

“See, it’s not so bad.”

You had spent so much time with him the last few weeks that you could practically hear his deep voice in your head. A warm feeling spread through you, even when he had already averted his gaze and was absorbed in talking to Yoongi again.

That’s how the hours of the evening went by.

You played a never-ending round of Uno, in which you didn’t come last (you preferred to hide the fact that you came second to last), and other card games. No drinking games, which you were happy about. No forcing to drink so everyone could drink what they liked, when they liked.

At one point, Taehyung and Grace had switched places and you got all hot as he leaned against your shins. Him and Emmy knew each other since the first semester, as you found out. It made you feel weird, knowing that they knew each other for years, while the both of you only met a few months ago.

Nonetheless you enjoyed the evening, and feeling so protected by Taehyung that you didn’t even look at your phone every few minutes out of habit. Therefore, you had no idea what time it was. Only the slowly emerging tiredness told you that it was probably time to go home.

You knew you would sleep well that night. Maybe you would spend the night at Taehyung’s place too – this would be a first.

However, your good mood was abruptly over with one, harmless sentence.

“How do you two know each other anyway?” Emmy looked at you with interest and at first you were perplexed, so surprised at this question that you just sat there stiffly.

Most of the others were engrossed in conversation and didn’t notice this awkward situation. Because what were you supposed to answer? You were not together. You didn’t even know if you wanted to and you had never talked about it in the first place. It had always been kind of clear that there was a sexual attraction between you – but something beyond that?

You couldn’t answer that.

Your gaze flickered to Taehyung for a second. Why didn’t he tell his long time friend about you? She didn’t even know your name… Had Taehyung never mentioned you to his friends before?

You were just getting ready to speak, to make a not very explanatory statement, when Taehyung beat you to it. “We met at a party.” He reached for his glass and took a sip while making a hand gesture between the two of you. “We haven’t known each other that long, just for a few weeks.”

Emmy raised her eyebrows as if she’d expected a different answer – and she wasn’t the only one. She gave you a small smile and turned to Seokjin, who was sitting next to her and, as you had learned that night, was not only the host but also the entertainer of the evening.

You turned your gaze from Seokjin and Emmy back to Taehyung, who was talking across the table with another young man whose name you had already forgotten. It had been too many names for one evening. But what surprised you a little was how quickly Taehyung had pushed the subject aside.

Was that all?

You hadn’t known yourself what you would have answered, but you were sure it would have been more than Taehyung’s answer. Something else.

For the next half hour, you were exceptionally quiet, which Taehyung also noticed. He turned to you and squeezed your knee once, almost affectionately. “Are you tired? Do you want to go home?”

You nodded silently, barely able to look him in the eye. What was wrong with you? As if two sentences had tipped your mood 180 degrees. From one extreme to the other…

When you stepped into the cool summer night, you took the opportunity to take a deep breath. The alcohol and the heat in the living room had clouded your mind. That had to be it.

But even on the way home – to your apartment – your mood didn’t seem to lift. Taehyung’s jokes and casual comments, which would normally make you smile, were exhausting at that moment and you were about to tell him that you could walk the rest of the way on your own.

Then he suddenly stopped as if rooted to the spot and you had to walk a few steps back again. For a moment there was only silence. In the distance you heard shouting and laughter and the occasional car passing you by, bathing you in its warm yellow light.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

A simple question. No simple answer. So you just shrugged your shoulders. “Nothing, why?”

He clicked his tongue in displeasure. “You know I hate games like that.” Even in the darkness, you could see how his lips were pressed into a straight, stern line.

Immediately your heart sank at the sight, making it even harder for you to find an answer and voice your thoughts. Instantly, you wished you had pulled yourself together for the last forty-five minutes. Instead, you were now in a situation you couldn’t easily get out of. At least not without completely throwing your principles overboard, and you just weren’t ready for that yet.

You turned your gaze to the ground and heard Taehyung sigh. A moment later, he took a step closer so that his shoes entered your field of vision. As his hands clasped yours, you flinched, not expecting the sudden touch. An argument was more what you had expected.

“Hey, look at me, please,” he asked, this time in a softer voice. When you did just that, his gaze searched yours, as if trying to read all the answers from your face. But you knew your face was just an expressionless mask, not reflecting the chaos inside you. “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?” You stayed silent. “Huh?”

You avoided his gaze and let your hands slip from his grasp. The disappointed look on Taehyung’s face escaped you as you searched the sidewalk for an answer.

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

That made you look up. “I don’t need your help.” You winced at how cold your voice sounded. But you felt pushed into a corner.

He frowned at your statement. “Okay…” he said and buried his hands in the front pockets of his pants. The hands that had held yours a moment before. He studied your face as if thinking about whether to say the next part or not. Then, “What do you want from me then?”

The question made your heartbeat quicken.

Behause you had no real answer to that. Therefore, you just shook your head.

Taehyung mimicked the movement. “What kind of answer is that, Y/N?”

You shrugged your shoulders and Taehyung sighed, gradually annoyed.

“I feel like I’m talking to a wall right now. And to be honest, I’ve had that feeling for a few days now.”

You had to swallow.

“We’ve never worked out what this is between us,” he began, hesitating briefly, “but maybe it’s about time we talk about it.”

“Why?” Pleadingly, you looked at him. “Why can’t it stay the way it is right now?”

“Because of this.” He made a hand gesture between the two of you. “Because it’s not good for you or for me. I, I have–” He sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. “I’m just afraid that you and I have different intentions.”

“Different intentions?” you repeated, confused. What was that supposed to mean? “Well, you’ve made it more than clear tonight how you see things between us.”

Taehyung raised both eyebrows when he heard that. “What do you mean?”

You rolled your eyes. Did you really have to explain to him now what was bothering you? “Emmy didn’t even know who I was.”

He let the sentence sink in for a moment before enlightenment spread across his face. “Oh, that’s where that comes from… What would you have wanted to hear? That we’re together? We’re not, are we Y/N?”

“I just don’t understand you,” you said, not responding to him.

“I can say the same back,” he muttered, but you ignored that too.

“All evening you were so… so distant and your friends didn’t even know who I was and how we know each other. Do you know how awkward it was for me when Emmy asked that and then this answer came from you?” You waited a moment, but Taehyung’s lips were pressed tightly together again. “Do you think I didn’t feel the looks from Grace and Yoongi? The–The pity when they heard you just label me as an acquaintance?”

“Oh, is that your problem? Is it so important to you what others think of you?”

You didn’t respond. That was not the reason and he should know it.

“What was I supposed to introduce you as then?” Taehyung raised his voice now, showing just how frustrated he was getting. “Hi guys, this is Y/N by the way. We’ve been fucking for over three months, but I actually know absolutely nothing about her because she pushes me away every fucking time I want to get to know her better. Is that how you want me to introduce you next time?”

His chest rose and fell rapidly as he stood in front of you, completely out of breath, waiting for a reaction.

You had to swallow and turned your gaze to the floor as the corners of your eyes began to burn.

“Yes, I admit,” Taehyung continued, a bit more calmed but still noticeably upset, “I shouldn’t have introduced you as someone I just met at a party. But as what instead? What is this between us? You can’t tell me, and you don’t give me any clue about how you feel… how you feel about me. Sometimes I think you don’t fucking like me at all.”

“That’s not true,” you said meekly, but Taehyung snorted when he heard that.

“Please stop denying that you don’t act like shit towards me. One night everything’s fine between us and the next day you’re back to being so distant as if there’s nothing between us.” You held his gaze, even though you wanted to look away. “And admit to yourself how you feel. For your sake, but also for mine, please. And let me know when you’ve made up your mind, I just can’t take this constant back and forth.”

He took a step back as if he needed some distance from you after his confession. Then he slowly walked past you while you continued to stand rooted to the spot.

“Are you coming?” you heard Taehyung’s voice behind you.

“I can walk the rest by myself.” Your voice sounded weak, as if the conversation just now had drained all your energy.

Taehyung shook his head and nodded in the direction of your student apartment. “I’ll still walk you home. I’m not an asshole.”

If you concentrated, you could see the top of the roof in the distance. But maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you in the darkness. What was certain, though, was that the walk home would be unpleasant and long.

. . .

it’s a fine line between disappointment and anger

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other as your eyes flitted over the passing cars. You were on the lookout for Grace’s neon green old Ford Fiesta, although its eye-catching color made it hard to miss and visible even from a distance. When you took a quick look at your phone to check the time, you realized that you were already waiting for over fifteen minutes.

The others were late.

You tried not to be too irritated about it, even though you couldn’t quite suppress the feeling. After all, you had taken a cab to get to the location, which was so far out of town. By train it would have been a big detour and a long walk afterwards, so you had bitten the bullet and spent the money on a cab. Even though you couldn’t deny that you almost cancelled when you found out how far out the location was.

And you knew all too well the reason why you had come after all.

You just hoped that Grace and Yoongi would give you a ride on the way back, so you wouldn’t have to pay for a cab again.

You were about to reach into your jacket pocket for your phone again when you suddenly saw something green flashing in the distance.

“Finally,” you muttered. You watched as Grace pulled into the parking lot and drove around the corner a little too fast before the car came to a stop in a parking space.

“Sorry!” it echoed across the lot, barely after the driver’s side door was yanked open. “We’re late.”

Grace came rushing to you and gave you a quick hug. As she did so, you noticed how out of breath she was, and instantly your little pang of annoyance was gone. “We still had to pick up Taehyung and Natalie.”

Natalie?

You tried not to flinch at the unfamiliar name. However, you didn’t even need to ask who this Natalie was because at that moment a girl got out of the car and brushed the non-existing dirt off her tight black jeans. Your gaze was so fixed on her that you didn’t even notice Taehyung, who had also gotten out of the car.

Only when he was just a few meters away from you and Grace did you notice him. You couldn’t help but let your eyes glide over his body. It had been a long time since you had seen Taehyung in jeans, when he usually wore wide-leg pants. You couldn’t deny how outrageously handsome he looked in the light blue jeans and plain black T-shirt that revealed his tanned arms. You wondered if he’d done something with friends last weekend and been out in the sun a lot.

You felt an unpleasant tingling on your skin and turned your attention back to the strange girl who pierced you with her gaze. It surprised you that no one else noticed her deadly stare, but that’s when she briefly narrowed her eyes and averted her eyes from you. Like a snake, which gave its warning before attacking if you didn’t back away. The message was clear, even if you didn’t understand what she had to fear.

Taehyung and you, that was a closed book. Briefly flipped through it and then put back on the shelf. There, where it belonged and where it should preferably never be taken out again.

You hadn’t checked in for the past four weeks, and instead had locked yourself in your small dorm room preparing for exams. This had distracted you during the day, but at night you had often stayed awake. Your finger had hovered over the chat with Taehyung countless times before you had changed your mind at the last moment.

It didn’t work. It wouldn’t work.

Something inside you was still resisting, but now you didn’t have to act surprised if Taehyung had had enough of waiting. You had never been together. It was probably not difficult for him to move on.

And you had given him every right to do so.

But then why did your heart tighten as you looked back and forth between Taehyung and Natalie?

“Let’s go in, it’s all going off of our time,” said Yoongi, who was the last to join you. With a nod and a quick smile, he greeted you before you walked together towards the front gate. The path to the small, ground-floor building was sandy, and lost in thought, you kicked a few small stones in front of you that were lying on the side of the path.

“We needed one more person,” Grace snapped you out of your thoughts.

Confused, you looked up.

“To play paintball,” she elaborated when she saw your puzzled look and nodded in the direction of Natalie, who was laughing at something Taehyung had said. She then punched him in the shoulder and he pretended to stagger far away before laughing as well. Just a few weeks ago, you had been the one laughing at his jokes. “It needs five players minimum, at least that’s what the website said.”

“Sure,” you replied, even though you had barely listened to Grace. You didn’t care about the reason Natalie was here. You wished that you had chosen to stay home. But there was nothing you could do about it now, and you definitely wouldn’t bring down anyone’s mood.

So you put on a smile and hoped it would come easier in the next hours.

It didn’t take long at the reception, thankfully, so you were soon queuing up to borrow the equipment. During the induction training, your fingers nervously ran along the frame of the visor of your helmet that you had to wear. Purely precautionary, because the head was off limits, a paintball company employee explained to you.

“There is also another rule,” the employee explained in a firm voice that indicated that he had told this text dozens, if not hundreds, of times before. “Or let’s say good etiquette. If you’re close to someone and the person hasn’t seen you,” he paused dramatically and you wondered if this pause had been in his script or if he’d added it over time, “don’t shoot the person, say ‘Bang!’ instead. Even if they’re just little hardened gelatine balls, they can really hurt when shot at such close range. So don’t be assholes and take care of each other.”

Scattered laughter rippled through the three groups receiving instruction with you. As your eyes slid back to the staff member to hear if he had more to explain, they lingered on Taehyung and Natalie. Natalie signalled Taehyung with her index finger to her lips that they should listen. As she did so, however, her lips twisted into a grin and from the short distance you could hear her soft laughter.

Oh now you couldn’t wait to get on the field.

. . .

You hid behind a small wooden hut in the fenced area. As you tried to calm your breathing, you checked the end of the gun to see how many of the little colored bullets were left before sighing quietly in frustration.

You scanned your surroundings as you scrambled back to your feet, but there was no sign of Natalie. She was responsible for your team’s ammunition, and no sooner had the round begun against a group of strangers than she had apparently made it her goal to stay hidden not only from your opponents, but from her own teammates as well. You hadn’t seen her the entire round so far, and if you didn’t have a deep-seated grudge against her, you’d almost be impressed.

You were jolted out of your thoughts when you suddenly heard a dull stomping behind you in the house. The hut was small, perhaps two square meters, and consisted only of thin wooden boards nailed together. As quietly as you could, you turned around and tried to make out something through the small slit between the wood, but even as you squinted your eye, you couldn’t see anything except for the floor.

Suddenly, you heard something behind you.

You whirled around and raised your gun at the same moment, aiming it right at the young man who was just sneaking around the corner of the house and was about to surprise you.

You looked at each other perplexed for a moment before he turned his gun away from you and held up his free hand.

“I think we’re both out, aren’t we?” he laughed, and you agreed, smiling.

He helped you to your feet and you went to join the others, who were also hit and waited outside the area until the round was over. You were surprised that Natalie and Taehyung were the only ones left from your team.

When Grace spotted you, she threw her arms up in the air in disappointment. “Oh no! I think we’re losing this round.”

Yoongi stifled a grin at the pure disappointment in his girlfriend’s voice before putting an arm around her shoulders. Grace unconsciously rubbed her side, and as you moved to stand next to her, you asked, “Is that where it hit you?”

She looked down in wonder, where her hand was still rubbing the presumably sore spot, before nodding. “Those things really hurt, don’t you think?”

You shrugged. “I didn’t get hit. It was more of a mutual elimination.” You glanced to the side and saw the young man from the other team standing alone. His remaining team seemed not to have been hit yet.

No sooner had this thought crossed your mind than two unknown men suddenly joined you. Their faces reflected frustration and disappointment. Your eyes widened when you saw the countless paint splatters on their clothes.

“What happened to you guys?” laughed the other man when he noticed it too.

But the two didn’t answer him, instead they looked in your direction.

“Not a bad tactic,” one said, and the other nodded.

You were glad that Grace and Yoongi were as clueless as you were when Grace asked, “What tactic?”

“You guys completely overran us with all the bullets two of your team members had. We didn’t expect that at all.”

Grace muttered something unintelligible and the two men joined their teammate.

“You didn’t get any ammunition from Natalie either?” you asked in amazement, firmly expecting to be the only one who hadn’t seen Natalie.

But the other two shook their heads and Grace rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what her problem is. If I had known beforehand what a bitch she was, I would have told Taehyung to take someone else with him.”

Yoongi grumbled in agreement. “Taehyung’s taste in women is questionable.”

An uncomfortable silence settled over you like a heavy blanket. You didn’t miss Yoongi’s panicked glance in your direction, nor Grace’s elbow, which landed in Yoongi’s side.

“Sorry, Y/N… I didn’t mean that,” he apologized, but you shook your head and forced a smile.

“It’s okay.”

But was it really?

The awkward silence was interrupted by a loud roar and cheer, and a little later the last four from the fenced area joined you. Two of them reflected exactly the emotion that the two men before had as well, while the other two were in each other’s arms, cheering and laughing loudly, and almost stumbling into each other.

“We won!” Natalie announced, grinning broadly and visibly proud.

You didn’t need to look in Taehyung’s direction to notice that he was happy, too. You could hear it in the deep laughter that reached your ears.

But over their joy, they didn’t seem to notice that no one was rejoicing with them. A quick sideways glance at Grace told you how pissed off she was getting. To keep the situation from escalating, you stepped in.

As calm and relaxed as you could, you said, “Maybe you’d like to give us some of that ammunition, too, in the next round.”

Natalie’s laughter died away, leaving behind an ugly grinning grimace. With raised eyebrows, she looked at you and took a step toward you. “It worked, didn’t it?” She paused. “Y/N.” She literally spat your name at your feet. “Or did it hurt that much when you got hit? Oh no, little baby.” She raised her hand and pinched your cheek like grandparents used to do with little kids. With a quick movement, you pushed her hand aside.

“Ever heard of teamwork?” interfered Yoongi, who also took a step forward, easily getting between you and Natalie. You were grateful for the distance between you.

Natalie’s challenging gaze was on you for a moment longer before she turned her attention to Yoongi. “Don’t be such killjoys, geez. We won, that’s all that matters.”

The discussion between Yoongi, Grace, and Natalie passed by you as your gaze slid to Taehyung. Your heart stopped for a second as your eyes met for the first time this day. You tried to find something in his gaze, an answer perhaps. An answer as to how you could drift apart in such a short time. And an answer to why on earth he had had to bring Natalie with him.

Yet you knew the answer, and you knew you had no one to blame but yourself. Even though it had never been anything serious between you, Taehyung had given you the chance that it could have possibly become something more. If you had been brave enough. If you had admitted your feelings.

If…

If you had given each other and yourself a chance.

You had to avert your gaze and turned it to the ground instead. When you looked up again after a few seconds, Taehyung had turned his attention back to Natalie, who was still discussing with Grace.

“Hey,” one of the men from the other group interrupted the argument, “Do you guys feel like swapping through?”

“Sure,” Natalie replied without waiting for a response from the others first. “Why not?”

“I want those two on the team, though,” you heard one of the men say quietly to his buddy before his gaze shifted to Natalie and Taehyung. The other one laughed and that reaction made the blood boil inside you.

But that’s how it was decided before any of you three even had a chance to protest. Grace didn’t look like she was too sad about being on Natalie’s opposing team, though, and you were glad to know at least her and Yoongi were by your side. In addition to the two of them, you were joined rather reluctantly by the young man you had eliminated and one of the two who had been eliminated last in the round before.

Grace chatted with the two on her way to a new area, but you didn’t feel like talking. Usually you took the opportunity to meet new people, but today it kind of drained your energy. Either that or it was the annoying shrill laughter that could be heard every few seconds. Your ears were hurting by now.

“Wow, how cool!” Grace marveled as you walked through a large gate to the new area. And you too could only look around with your mouth open over the large plaza full of cars. At least you suspected that they were cars under the thick layer of paint, since they were barely visible. In the middle of the square diagonally stood a bus, which probably marked about half of the area. You could also make out an RV in the distance and many smaller cars scattered around.

“You can hide in the cars, by the way,” one of the men from the other group gave you a hint.

“Are you guys here often?” asked Yoongi with interest and the other nodded.

He raised his gun, which looked different from the one you were holding. “Custom-made, we all have our own equipment.”

“Of course you do,” Grace muttered and you had to laugh. “Shhh, don’t laugh,” Grace whispered, but had to laugh as well. The fact that your laughter didn’t please one person at all escaped you at that moment.

“Okay, we’ll each start from one side,” one of the two on your team announced, and you began to spread out across the course. More than once you almost slipped on the ground, which had become slippery from the layer of paint. You barely managed to hold on to the outside mirror of a car. A thick layer of paint remained on your hand and you grimaced as you wiped it off on your pants.

At least you had thought ahead and taken a change of clothes with you.

You looked at the RV that was in your area and before you could weigh the pros and cons, your legs had already carried you there out of pure curiosity. Quietly you opened the door to the interior and carefully closed it again behind you.

Even the interior was not spared from paint splatters, but there was much less in here than outside. You continued to look around the dark room, which was only sparsely lit because the windows were also covered in paint from outside.

“Shit,” you muttered as you realized what a bad idea that had been. You couldn’t see what was happening outside, and there was no place to hide in here either. The benches and kitchenette had been ripped out and only the small cubicle where you thought the toilet was, was still there.

With a sigh, you turned and reached toward the door to go back outside, when suddenly you heard voices. You couldn’t make out who it was or if it was someone from your team, but you couldn’t take the risk.

Cursing, you lowered your hand again and walked quietly but briskly toward the small cabin. You winced when the rotten wood squeaked as you opened the door, but continued with your plan. Not that you had a choice. In the darkness, you were able to make out that the toilet had also been ripped out, making it just a tiny, empty room.

You shut the door and squatted on the floor. Straining your ears, you tried to hear something, but except for your breathing, which seemed uncomfortably loud under your helmet, you couldn’t hear anything. Adrenaline coursed through your veins and your ears picked up every little sound.

Had that been the door to the RV?

You tried to make yourself a little smaller.

“I swear, I saw her go in here.”

The blood froze in your veins as you recognized the deep voice. You didn’t know why, but it hurt to hear that Taehyung had betrayed you just like that. And you didn’t need laser vision to know who was alongside Taehyung.

A second later, the door was yanked open.

Your eyes narrowed as you had to look at the sudden light that fell through the door, illuminating the person in front of you from behind. You only heard them laugh, which sounded somewhat muffled by the helmet and visor, before you heard a loud clack and a second later felt a sudden pain in your upper arm.

Before you understood what had happened, the sequence repeated itself two more times. A bullet bounced off the wall and hit you in the back of the head. You flinched as a sharp pain shot through you and instinctively grabbed the back of your head. Even in the dark you could see your fingers were yellow from the paint.

“Oh oops,” you heard Natalie laugh, “Bang.”

She giggled even as you scrambled to your feet and pushed past her. She didn’t step aside, not until your shoulder made hard contact with hers and she stumbled to the side.

“Ugh, someone can’t lose, I guess.”

Jumping out of the RV and almost running into Taehyung, you froze on the spot for a moment. Not a word came out of him and after a few moments you just gave a cool short laugh before shaking your head and walking towards the edge of the area.

The back of your head hurt and as you ran your fingers through your hair again, you winced, noticing how the color was already gluing them together. A curse stuck in your throat, but you tried not to let it out. Once you started, you wouldn’t be able to stop.

“We’re really bad,” Grace laughed when she caught sight of you. But you shook your head in response and silently walked past her. “Is everything okay?” One foot in front of the other. “Y/N?”

Her questions fell silent when you were finally far enough away. You went straight to the lockers and reached for your bag. The sudden jerk caused it to snag on the metal of the locker, which only made you pull on it more furiously. A few seconds of mindless pulling later, you let it go. As you brushed your palms over your face, you noticed how your hands were shaking.

So you forced yourself to take a few deep breaths before slowly grabbing the handles of your bag again. This time you immediately managed to pull it out of the compartment. The locker slammed shut behind you as you made your way towards the changing rooms.

. . .

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Grace asked you this question for the third time and for the third time you nodded.

You said your thanks to the staff member who held out an ice pack to you and immediately you held it to the back of your head. By the time you had changed your clothes, you had already noticed the dark red spots where you had been hit and which would surely be blue by tomorrow at the latest. When you had pulled your sweatshirt over your head, you had noticed the thick and painful bump on your head.

“I really appreciate this, Grace, that you’re offering to wait with me,” you explained, “but you paid for this and you had fun, so I don’t want to spoil it for you.”

“You’re not spoiling anything for me,” came back the prompt reply. Grace was still holding your free hand as if she was afraid you were getting the next cab home at any moment. And to be honest, you would like nothing better than that right now.

Still, you rolled your eyes. “Come on,” you said, nodding behind her.

Yoongi was just heading your way, with a questioning look on his face. “What happened?”

Grace started to answer, but you beat her to it. “I got hit, nothing bad.”

But Grace grunted contemptuously. “Natalie shot her in the back of her head.”

“It wasn’t on purpose.” You didn’t want to defend her because you knew the two hits before that had definitely been on purpose. But you also knew that the hit to your head had been bad luck.

“Does it hurt much?” Yoongi didn’t join the discussion, but remained diplomatic. You gave him credit for that. Your head hurt enough as it was, you didn’t need another unnecessary argument.

In response, you shrugged your shoulders and pressed the cold pack harder against your head, closing your eyes briefly.

“Do you want one of us to stay here?”

“Not you too,” you groaned, and when you opened your eyes again, you caught sight of Natalie and Taehyung, who also joined you at that moment.

“Oh,” Natalie said, barely standing next to Grace, “you changed your clothes, Y/N,” she remarked as she looked down at you.

Grace’s grip on your hand tightened and you saw her jaw tighten.

Then you turned your gaze to Natalie. There was not an ounce of remorse or pity in her gaze. “Yeah, I’m out. Completely for today.”

“Oh no, what a shame!”

Taehyung on the other hand was exceptionally quiet right now and didn’t say a word. And you didn’t have the strength to look up and see the same look you saw a few minutes ago.

“Well, that’s just the way it is. Shall we keep playing?”

No one said a word and the uncomfortable silence increased by the second.

“Go on,” you said, squeezing Grace’s hand, “go on playing without me.” You gave her a significant look and Grace’s eyes widened briefly before a knowing smile spread across her face.

“Okay, let’s go!” she said euphorically, jumping to her feet. Then she pulled Yoongi by the hand with her.

Natalie didn’t take the invitation twice either and followed the two of them. Only when she had walked a few meters did she stop in wonder and look back at Taehyung, who hadn’t moved an inch. “Are you coming, Tae?”

You couldn’t hold back your bitter grin when you heard the nickname. When you looked up, Taehyung’s gaze was right on the floor in front of you. “Come on, Tae,” you said, and at your voice your eyes met, “your girlfriend’s calling you.”

Taehyung’s answer came directly without hesitation and his voice was cold as he said, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Just like I’ve never been your girlfriend? Is that the same between you two?”

“That’s not fair, Y/N… You were the one who didn’t talk to me for four weeks. It was as if you had completely disappeared from the face of the earth.”

He looked at you silently, his lips pressed into a straight line. He shook his head ever so slightly before turning and following the others without another word. You had to admit that you felt some gloating when he ignored Natalie’s outstretched hand and followed Yoongi and Grace without paying any attention to her.

. . .

“You should have seen her face,” Grace laughed, quickly covering her mouth when she realized how loudly she had spoken. You stood in front of the locker while Grace pushed her water bottle into her bag. Wordlessly, Yoongi held his dirty clothes out to her and with a roll of her eyes, she grabbed them and stuffed them into the bag as well. “Next time, bring your own bag.”

“Hm-hm,” Yoongi muttered, already having turned his attention to something else.

You exited the building and headed toward the parking lot. You looked over your shoulder, where you recognized Taehyung and Natalie a few feet away from you. The two didn’t say a word to each other and silently followed you.

“What happened?” you asked quietly as you turned to face forward again. You couldn’t deny that the mood between the two of them seemed tense, while Grace walked beside you almost jumping for joy.

“She realized it hurts when you get hit.”

Immediately your head snapped to her, “Oh God, what did you do?”

But Grace shook her head and you could see a slight smile on Yoongi’s face. “Not me.” She gave you a meaningful look that you couldn’t interpret. Or wanted to. “Taehyung.”

“Taehyung?” You were confused. “Weren’t they on the same team?”

“Apparently he got tired of her,” Yoongi said, and he too looked at you for a moment too long.

“And that’s not the only thing,” Grace directly followed up when Yoongi hadn’t even finished speaking, “He accidentally called her Nicole. She hasn’t spoken to him since.”

“Admittedly, he didn’t really talk to her before either.”

You had to swallow. Suddenly a fat lump had settled in your throat, making it hard for you to make a sound. Only when you cleared your throat did you start to speak. “Can we talk about something else?”

For a moment neither of them said anything and you felt the eyes of both on you. You had yours, however, focused on the floor in front of you. Grace was just starting to speak when suddenly a shadow appeared next to you in the corner of your eye. You looked up in surprise and were even more surprised to see Taehyung next to you.

He didn’t say a word, but just walked beside you. You opened your mouth, but you didn’t know what to say. Especially not in front of Grace and Yoongi. And in front of Natalie, whose footsteps you heard right behind you.

And was there anything to say at all? Or would all the effort be for nothing and just a little too late?

You eyed him from the side, letting your gaze glide over his tousled and windblown hair, over his nose and his lips. The lips, which formed slightly downward and the eyebrows, which he had pinched together in thought.

It seemed as if he noticed your stare, because suddenly he looked up and when your eyes met every trace of strain disappeared. A brief smile spread across his face before he turned his gaze forward again.

Arriving at the car, you tried to make yourself as small as possible in the middle seat so that your leg wouldn’t keep bumping into Taehyung’s as Grace rounded a corner. Your heart had been pounding up to your throat ever since you felt the heat radiating from him and taking over you completely. Your skin tingled and again and again your gaze slid to his hand, which he had placed on his knee. It needed only a small movement of your hand and you would be able to grasp it. You wondered if he would withdraw his hand or allow–

You quickly turned your gaze to the other side. But it was no better there. Natalie barely gave you room, which didn’t make your predicament with Taehyung any better. She stared wordlessly out the window since you got into the car and paid no attention to the conversations in the car.

Even though there wasn’t that much attention to pay there, because every attempt Grace made to start a conversation was met with a wall of awkward silence. A few short sentences, Taehyung, Yoongi and you returned before the conversation died again. On top of that, you felt Grace’s eyes on you through the rearview mirror every few seconds. You didn’t need to be able to read minds to understand that you were supposed to talk to Taehyung.

The next time your eyes met, you tried to shake your head as inconspicuously as possible.

This was not the right time.

Grace shook her head… and drove a little too fast around the next curve.

You managed to suppress the surprised yelp, but couldn’t keep your balance, so you fell into Taehyung’s lap. Your hand came into contact with his thigh, which you tried to brace yourself against.

“Oh,” Grace laughed, and you gave her an evil glare through the driver’s seat, “I guess I was a little too fast. Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Taehyung’s deep voice startled you. You felt his strong hand on your shoulder and slowly he pulled you back upright.

“Yeah, sorry,” you apologized and your cheeks burned. Damn, Grace…

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing happened.”

But something did happen, just not the way Taehyung was thinking at that moment.

. . .

scary love

Your heart was pounding loudly in your chest; so hard it almost hurt. Your gaze slid from your perfectly applied makeup to your top, and you stared at the spot under your left breast for a moment, sure that you could see your heart beating. You shook your head and took one deep breath before grabbing your bag, throwing on a jacket and leaving your room.

The hustle and bustle of the city drowned out your noisy thoughts as you made your way to the apartment of the house party. When Grace had approached you about the party yesterday and asked if you were coming, your thoughts had inevitably drifted straight to Taehyung. The last time you had gone out at night was when you and Taehyung had had your fight. Even though that was nearly a month and a half ago, it seemed like it was only a few days ago.

But it wasn’t just your thoughts that had drifted straight to him.

As you got off the bus and walked the rest of the way, Grace’s expression came back to your mind. The much-important pause that had followed her question and right before her hesitant “Taehyung will be there too.”

You wondered if it would always be like this from now on. That you would have to be forewarned if there was a chance that you might run into each other.

You hoped that this would not be your future. That you could have a clarifying conversation with him tonight. And that he was at the party at all. You didn’t even want to think about the fact that you came to the party today for nothing.

The thumping bass and sweaty heat met you as you entered the house. Immediately, your eyes scanned the various guests as you walked through the different rooms on the first floor. Your heart stopped a few times as you thought you spotted Taehyung, only to be disappointed when it was someone else.

You were still a little scared that you seemed to feel so strongly about Taehyung. You didn’t want to imagine the pain if Taehyung rejected you. After all, he had been relatively cryptic in his statements, and even if… you had taken a few weeks to make your decision. The situation with Natalie still hadn’t left your mind. What if he showed up again today with another girl?

Your thoughts raced and your gaze darted through the crowd until finally someone entered your field of vision and you looked up slightly.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Grace looked at you with wide eyes and you were sure your nervousness was showing.

“Yes,” you answered her, your voice sounding breathless. Just like how you felt. “Have you seen Taehyung?”

Grace stifled a smile, but the corners of her mouth twitched up suspiciously, betraying her.

“He’s coming along with Yoongi. The two of them should be on their way.” She glanced at her phone and nodded once more in agreement with her statement. “Oh, Yoongi just texted that they arrived.”

Your heart skipped a beat and the nervousness became almost unbearable all at once. Nausea spread through you and you gratefully accepted the drink Grace held out to you, which you only now noticed. As you took a generous sip of it, you realized it was water.

“Thank you, Grace.”

“I thought it would be better if you worked this out sober.” She smiled at you encouragingly, but suddenly her eyes fell on something behind you. You were afraid to turn around because you knew exactly who must have come up behind you. You could see it in Grace’s smile and you inevitably wondered if you were looking at Taehyung like that. Or if he was looking at you like that.

But when Yoongi came up beside you, you couldn’t continue to stand rooted to the spot. You turned your head to the side and Taehyung’s gaze was already on you. For a moment, you stared at each other as if you were having a telepathic conversation. Then a small smile spread on Taehyung’s lips and you felt yourself relax abruptly.

“Hey,” his deep voice greeted you.

“Hi.” You didn’t notice Grace and Yoongi giving each other meaningful looks before they unobtrusively walked away from you and left you alone. You were too focused on Taehyung, on his face and his smile. He looked handsome, his T-shirt tucked into his dark pants, and at his neck you could make out a fine silver chain, its pendant disappearing under his T-shirt.

You had missed him. And you were glad to see him again.

And as you studied his expression, hope spread through you that he might felt the same way.

“Shall we–”, “Do you want–”, you started talking at the same time and you suppressed an eye roll as you laughed softly.

“Please,” he let you go first with that boxy smile you had missed so much.

You took a deep breath and laid out the words you’d been thinking about for the past few days. “Do you want to talk somewhere that might be a little quieter?”

Taehyung nodded without thinking twice. “Shall we go to my place? I’m here by car.”

Surprised, you raised your eyebrows. “By car? But you just got here, right? And since when do you have a car?”

His smile changed, taking on a hint of… was that embarrassment? “Well, I didn’t come here for the party.” Now he was grinning fully at you. “And Yoongi lent me his car.”

The words got stuck in your throat and you were incapable of more than a smile.

“Shall we?”

As you nodded, Taehyung led you through the crowd back to the front door. Every few seconds he looked over his shoulder to make sure you hadn’t lost him and were still behind him.

But you wouldn’t let him out of your sight again.

Silently, you walked to Taehyung’s car, but this time the silence was not uncomfortable. Instead, there was a certain tension in the air, as if you were both nervous about the upcoming conversation. No matter how it turned out, something would definitely change for you.

As the doors slammed shut loudly, the sound snapped you out of your thoughts. All at once, you realized how close you were to Taehyung. His right hand was on the gear stick as he put the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking space. You couldn’t help but watch him as he expertly pulled the car onto the road.

“Are you just going to stare at me the whole time, or do you want to talk as well?” Taehyung’s grin showed you that he was just teasing you because he had noticed your stare.

“Sorry,” you returned with a soft laugh, turning your gaze to the road ahead of you instead.

“How are you?”

Normally, you hated that question. It was a filler for awkward pauses when you didn’t know what to say. But at that moment, it was different. You knew that Taehyung was genuinely interested in how you were doing and that his question hinted at more than it showed at first glance. A question whose deeper meaning only the two of you knew.

Therefore, you pondered for a moment how best to answer this question. You decided to tell the truth. Finally. “I… could be better.”

“Oh?” Taehyung tilted his head and gave you a quick sideways glance.

Your gaze was on your feet as you continued to explain. “I’ve been pretty bothered by everything… All this between us I mean.”

“Hm-hm.”

“And I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?” Taehyung sounded seriously surprised. “For what?”

You sighed and let your head fall back against the headrest. “For treating you like that… I didn’t know what I wanted myself, and I expected you to know. That was unfair.”

Taehyung let your words run through his mind. “And do you know what you want now?” In one move, he parked in front of his apartment and turned off the engine.

You waited until he pulled the key out of the ignition and looked at you. “Yes.”

“And what’s that?” Taehyung’s voice was little more than a whisper, so soft that it was meant only for your ears. Afraid that if it left that small space of the car, that your mind would change again.

But it wouldn’t anytime soon. Rarely had you felt as sure as you did at that moment.

“Can we discuss this upstairs?”

Nervously, you followed him up the two flights of stairs, the mixture of your racing heart and exertion making you gasp a little as Taehyung unlocked his apartment.

“Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, water… I also have that lemonade you like so much.” His voice grew more distant as he disappeared into the kitchen. You heard dishes and bottles clinking as you waited uncertainly in the hallway until Taehyung finally stepped out of the kitchen with two bottles and you went into the living room.

No matter how you sat on the small sofa, you couldn’t stay still and had to change your position every few seconds. Legs crossed, once left leg up, then right leg. Then both feet on the floor, once half bent on the sofa–

Until Taehyung finally put a hand on your knee, forcing you to rest. A small smile played around his lips as he sought and finally found your gaze. “I’ve never seen you this nervous before,” he remarked, leaning back again after making sure you stayed in one position for now.

You exhaled before taking a sip of the lemonade and placing the bottle back on the coffee table. Your hands shook as you placed them folded back together in your lap. You heard the quiet whirring of Taehyung’s Playstation, which he never shut off, and which had already become a welcoming sound. It seemed almost ridiculous to you that you had missed that.

You cleared your throat and slid back and forth on the sofa again before finally getting to speak. You were so engrossed in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice how nervous Taehyung himself was and how he was hanging spellbound on your lips, hoping that you would finally give him an explanation.

“I’ve had a lot of time the last few weeks to think about… well, to think about the weeks before that. The paintball game in particular has given me a lot to think about.”

“I still wanted to apologize for that,” Taehyung added, “Nadine was really out of line. I shouldn’t have brought her.”

You grunted before you could hold it back, but decided not to comment on his mistake. Instead, you asked, “Then why did you? How do you even know her?”

Now Taehyung was shifting back and forth a little uneasily. “I know her from a few parties. She approached me shortly after that fight we had…”

The question hung in the air, but still, you had to have certainty.

“Was there something going on between you two?”

Taehyung hesitated to answer and you felt your heart sink.

Then he sighed. “We kissed, made out a little before I stopped. When Yoongi asked me if I knew anyone else we could take to the paintball game, she offered coming. I thought it would be a good idea to… um, well–”

“Were you trying to make me jealous?” you interrupted him, raising an eyebrow.

Taehyung nodded and rubbed the back of his neck with the flat of his hand, slightly embarrassed. “I know that’s stupid and childish. But I was just still so mad at you–at me, at both of us to be honest. You’d been so absent-minded with me, I just wanted to see some kind of reaction from you.”

“I’m sure you saw one,” you muttered, turning your gaze to the gray carpet.

“Yes, but not the one I wanted,” Taehyung returned, also muttering. “I never wanted you to get hurt. That’s what I told her as well.” There was silence between the two of you for a moment and you heard Taehyung take a deep breath. “I haven’t been in contact with her since, if you’re interested.”

You weighed his statement before nodding slowly and turning your gaze back to him. “You can have contact with whomever you want, Taehyung,” you began, and he started to contradict you, but you raised your hand, wanting to finish your sentence, “but I don’t want to tell you what to do and what not to do. Who you should have contact with and with whom you shouldn’t. If we start with such stories, we’ll get into a spiral again. But thank you for telling me honestly what happened between you.”

Taehyung waited a moment to see if you had finished talking before it rushed out of him. “I didn’t end it with her because I was afraid of what you would think about it. In the first place, there was never anything between us that could have been ended, and secondly, that was entirely a decision for myself. And I wanted to be fair to her. I know what it’s like to just be a replacement for someone and how shitty this feels. I didn’t want to do that to anyone else.”

“I didn’t know anyone had ever hurt you like that.”

Taehyung laughed softly as he recalled, and you were glad that the memory no longer seemed to cause him pain. You still had to work on that yourself, letting bygones be bygones and not projecting your experiences onto other people, other men.

“In my junior year… I can’t remember her name,” Taehyung began to tell, “I was fully into puberty and she was the first girl I really liked. You must know that I used to be quite the nerd.” He softly laughed about himself when he remembered that.

“A nerd? Pfft.” Looking at Taehyung now, with his wide black pants, muscular upper arms showing under his white T-shirt, and his whole aura radiating, you found it hard to imagine.

“Hey, don’t pfft me,” he complained, “I cared a lot about good grades and she noticed that. Of course, back then, I gratefully accepted any chance to do something with her. Even if it consisted of me doing her homework while she sat on her phone, probably texting her friends about how boring I was.”

“Ouch. That’s almost exactly like all those teen movies from back in the day.”

“And I was the poor nerd that the whole school made fun of behind his back.”

From the way Taehyung said this, you knew he wasn’t exaggerating. Your hand twitched as you reached for his hand, but you were unsure how far to go. Whether your touch was appropriate and, more importantly, welcome.

But he had seen that small movement and reached for your hand. Your fingers intertwined as if they were made for it and you wondered if that was the first time you held hands like that. At that moment, you couldn’t imagine a more intimate gesture.

“I changed schools my senior year and graduated. A fresh new start, so to speak.”

“I know what that feels like,” you agreed, nodding, and he smiled at you gratefully. His fingers painted small circles on the back of your hand and the skin touched by his fingertips began to tingle.

“It wasn’t an easy time for me, if I’m honest,” he continued, “I didn’t make any friends in my last year because most of the groups had already formed and I felt like it wasn’t worth it for most of them to make another friendship for that one year. But I could have tried harder. So I was glad when I was out of school.”

You tilted your head in wonder. “I thought you liked school?”

Taehyung threw you a small smile. “There’s a difference between liking learning and liking school. I always wanted to get good grades, even if that girl spoiled it for me a bit. Crashed a little bit after that, and really all I enjoyed was drawing and painting. I was glad that the university accepted me at all with my final grades. Because that’s not what a lot of people think, that you need good grades to study art.” Taehyung rolled his eyes and shook his head, laughing softly.

“Is that what you want to do? Being a painter?”

Taehyung thought about it for a moment. You could tell that he had a profession on the tip of his tongue, but seemed unsure of how you would respond. You squeezed his hand once so he would continue.

“I mean, there are many professions,” he began to explain, “I can stay at a university after graduation and pass on my knowledge to others. I think that’s pretty cool.”

You waited a moment, but Taehyung seemed to be pondering his thoughts. “But?” you asked because of that, and he turned his attention back to you.

“My dream is to open my own gallery. To support small artists and bring their voices to the public. And, of course, to exhibit myself, that would be awesome.”

“Do you have some paintings here?”

He looked at you like you’d asked a totally crazy question. And maybe you had. Sometimes you lived in your own world full of books from centuries ago that you felt a little detached from the present time.

Taehyung let your hand slip from his and got up from the sofa. He went to the large cabinet that took up almost the entire opposite wall, pulled open a drawer, and began rummaging through it. After a few moments, he seemed to have found what he was looking for.

When he came back to you, he had a large drawing pad in his hand, which he held out to you. With careful fingers you took the A2 large pad from him. The first small loose sketches fell into your hand as you opened the pad. Immediately your jaw dropped as you took your first look at what probably represented Taehyung’s most intimate thoughts and feelings.

You recognized many black and white sketch-like drawings that, at least you assumed, must have been painted with charcoal. It seemed like he had been studying different facial expressions, and that was a theme that ran through many of his drawings. Even your untrained eye could see that Taehyung placed a lot of emphasis on the expressions of his models. Anger, annoyance, sadness, more rarely happiness… you kept turning the pages and suddenly the drawing in front of you looked familiar. Or rather, the person who was drawn looked familiar.

It was you.

You looked up in surprise and met Taehyung’s waiting gaze. It seemed like he was reading every reaction on your face.

“Some people don’t like it when you draw them,” he explained.

You searched for the right words as you continued to flip through it and saw another drawing of yourself. In the background you saw sketchy hints of other people, and you wondered if this was supposed to be the night of the party when you two had first met.

Your index finger gently stroked the fine pencil lines. “This is how you see me?” Your voice was no more than a whisper. Your eyes fell on the date, written very small in the corner of the picture. You weren’t quite sure, but you believed that the picture had been taken on the very day after the party.

“What do you mean?”

Your gaze fell back to the drawing. The drawing strokes were deliberate and skillfully placed, as if he had done it a thousand times before. Only in the region of the face could you see eraser marks, and as you stroked over them, Taehyung laughed softly.

“It took me forever to get your face right,” he admitted, also letting his gaze slide over the paper in your hands.

“It turned out beautifully,” you breathed.

Taehyung looked up from the drawing and eyed your face for a moment before the corners of his mouth twitched upward. “Still, nothing like the original. Nothing comes close to that.”

You rolled your eyes when you heard that, but had to laugh softly. His comment reminded you of the night of the party. Already there he had been able to convince you, to your surprise, with his bad and exaggerated comments. You would have ignored anyone else, but even then you had given him a chance.

No matter what Taehyung said or did, he always made you feel that he meant it one hundred percent. And that was what set him apart from many men your age.

And that was the reason you were here.

Gently, you closed the sketchpad and placed it on the coffee table in front of you. “So,” you began, leaning back again until your back touched the backrest. Even though you looked relaxed from the outside, excitement and nervousness raged inside you. “What is this between us?”

Taehyung also leaned back and turned slightly to the side so that your knees were almost touching. With every second that Taehyung said nothing, the tension grew.

Then he cleared his throat and you flinched, so tense you were. “Hmm,” he began, studying your face. “There can be everything and nothing between us.”

You suppressed a snort, and instead a muffled sound of disapproval came out.

A smirk spread across his face when he heard it, before he leaned forward.

“Is that answer not acceptable to you?” His grin revealed that he knew exactly what you wanted to hear.

Needed to hear.

Because still your heart was beating up to your throat, afraid that you would get hurt. But luck was with the brave, right?

So you shook your head. No, you were not satisfied with his answer.

You also leaned forward so that you braced your elbows on your knees. Now there were only a few inches between you and Taehyung. You imagined even feeling his breath lightly on your face. Then you said, so softly that it was almost swallowed by the silence around you, “I want more than what we already had. I don’t know if this is or can become a relationship, but I want more than sex. I want to get to know you, your quirks and oddities–”

“There aren’t any,” he interrupted, grinning.

“There’s already the first one” you mumbled, looking at him seriously for a moment. Then a smile broke up your serious expression.

Taehyung just shook his head with a grin before his eyes fell on your lips. “Does that mean I finally get to kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

Taehyung raised his hand, slowly, and so gently that at first you were unsure if you were imagining the touch, before his palm and thumb rested on your cheek and his fingers caressed your ear and neck. Your breath hitched at the intimate touch and unconsciously you leaned towards the movement.

This was the moment when you threw every last bit of doubt overboard. The space that was finally vacated, after all these years, was filled with a warmth until you even felt the heat on your cheeks.

Taehyung now leaned forward fully and you closed your eyes at the same moment as his lips met yours. The kiss was soft at first, almost cautious, as your bodies had to get used to each other again. But it only lasted a moment before Taehyung opened his lips to intensify the kiss and ran his tongue along your lips. You willingly opened your mouth and allowed him to enter.

He explored your mouth and pulled you towards him by your hips until you landed on his lap with a soft “oomph”. He gave a low, satisfied-sounding grumble and his grip on your waist tightened, as if to make sure you wouldn’t vanish into thin air again at any moment.

Your fingers ran through his soft hair and you didn’t know where to touch him first. Everything was going too slowly for you and when you let your hips circle against Taehyung’s, he made a satisfied sound. His big hands eased off your hips and instead sought their way under your T-shirt. Meanwhile, the kiss grew more intimate and you both fought for the upper hand, even though you knew there was no answer to that question.

“God, I missed you,” he murmured into the kiss.

His thumb circled your nipple over the material of your bra und you arched into his touch. You felt him growing even harder between your legs when you pushed your hips into his. Taehyung bit your lower lip and elicited a whine from you. He grabbed your thighs and in the next moment he had lifted you up and laid you backwards on the sofa. Immediately he towered over you and you spread your legs so that he could find space between them. His mouth wandered downward, along your neck, remembering exactly which parts of you were particularly sensitive and making you squirm in his grip.

As he let his hips snap against yours, your moans echoed loudly in the otherwise silent room. He showed you exactly how hard he was, and your abdomen contracted as you thrust your hips upward, hoping to get more friction.

But Taehyung seemed to have other priorities at that moment and pushed your T-shirt up a little further. You shivered as the cool air hit your bare and heated skin, and when Taehyung sensed this, he rubbed your sides with his large, warm hands. His mouth also found its way to your stomach and he spread countless small, innocent kisses on the sensitive skin before he slid a little further back and straightened up until he knelt between your legs.

You were already out of breath at this point and looked at him over your rapidly heaving chest. He held your gaze as he slowly, but surely reached with his fingers to the clasp of your jeans and undid them. He took his time, after all, you were no longer in any hurry. Time belonged to you alone at that moment.

Taehyung helped you slip out of the tight jeans and threw them on the floor next to the sofa. He didn’t hesitate for a second and let his hands slide up your legs starting at your calves, until he finally reached your thighs and spread them a little further apart.

His gaze was fixed on the center of your body and his eyes flickered upward for a brief moment where your eyes met. “And I missed that, too.” He bit his lip while his gaze studied your body, as if he were absorbing and memorizing every little detail of you.

The air escaped you as you laughed out of breath. “I’ve missed you, too.”

This time his gaze was on you longer; it seemed like he didn’t expect that answer. Both of you would probably need a little time to get used to this new situation. But it didn’t scare you anymore. For the first time in years you had the feeling that someone accepted, even liked you, as you were.

And for the first time, maybe ever, you knew you were giving someone else that chance too.

He turned his gaze back between your legs and you had to moan as he stroked his thumb over the wet line that had already formed on the material of your underwear. Then he withdrew his hand and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt, which he pulled over his head a moment later. Immediately your hands grabbed everything they could find, his trained arms, over his chest and stomach. Until your fingers finally reached the waistband of his pants, where you paused for a moment.

You looked up and without breaking eye contact, you pulled the button through its flap and pulled the zipper down, before Taehyung slipped out of them.

Your breath hitched when you saw how hard Taehyung was. His bulge was significant in his gray boxers and when you saw that, you grabbed him through the material. He groaned and his eyes fluttered shut at the touch before he thrust his hips towards your hand. Taehyung grumbled in frustration as that wasn’t enough. Without further ado, he grabbed your hand to push it away and grabbed your legs instead.

Before you knew what was happening, he had spun you around so that you were sitting on the sofa again and he let himself slide onto the floor between your legs. He bumped into the coffee table behind him, clanking, and you watched the two bottles of lemonade wobble dangerously before they settled back down.

“Maybe I’d better move this one back a little,” Taehyung said more to himself than to you, and gently pushed the table back a few inches, giving him a little more room to maneuver.

Without playing any more games, he snaked his fingers under the thin material of your panties and you lifted your pelvis so he could slide them off of you. Then he grabbed your thighs from underneath and pulled you to the edge of the sofa. You felt his hot breath on your heated and wet center and let your head fall backwards onto the backrest.

“Did you know you have the sweetest pussy ever?” He gave you a quick glance from between your legs and as if by themselves your fingers found their way into his hair. Then he buried his face in your dripping folds and licked a long strip along your opening.

“Oh God,” you uttered as he placed the tip of his tongue against your clit and circled it. “Why are you so good at this?”

Taehyung’s deep laugh came from between your legs, and the vibrations from it sent more shockwaves through your body. He savored your taste, diving right in so that his nose grazed your clit and you unintentionally thrust your hips upward. He released one arm and held you in place with the flat of his hand on your abdomen.

His lips found your clit and when he started sucking on it hard, you let your head fall back and pushed his head even closer between your legs.

With a smack, he broke away from you and when he looked up, you could see the area around his mouth glistening. “You have no idea how delicious you are, Baby,” he murmured, replacing his tongue with two of his fingers that slid up and down, spreading your arousal. His fingers stopped briefly at your entrance, pressing the tips of his fingers inside so that he stretched you ever so slightly before running them along your labia again.

“Don’t tease me like that, please.” Your inner walls were pulsing around nothing, just waiting to finally be filled. Preferably by Taehyung, but if he didn’t hurry, you’d have to do it yourself.

“Oh come on, you love it,” Taehyung laughed softly, biting his lower lip as his gaze fell on his fingers, sliding in and out of you. He was giving you what you wanted, just not enough of it.

“Taehyunggg…” You didn’t care how whiny you sounded.

But your plan seemed to work, as Taehyung suddenly pushed them all the way into you. You stifled a moan as his fingers buried deep inside you and the heel of his hand pressed against your clit.

“Is that better?” Taehyung sounded breathless as well.

“Yes,” you gasped and Taehyung began to pick up a slow but steady pace with his fingers. You could hear how wet you were and that sound only turned you on more. “Taehy–” His name got stuck in your throat as Taehyung began to curl his fingers while being buried deep inside you.

“What was that?”

“Fuck you,” you blurted out between clenched teeth, but Taehyung knew you didn’t mean your insult.

“I’d rather have you do it.” And with that, all at once, he pulled his fingers out of you.

He eyed your torso and slid his palm over one of your breasts. Through the material of your T-shirt and bra, he let his thumb circle your nipple before pulling his hand back. “Take that off, Baby. I want to see you.”

You did and pulled both your shirt and bra over your head. When you turned your attention back to Taehyung, he had taken off his boxers so he was completely naked as well. He had taken a seat on the sofa and was sliding his hand up and down his cock. Drops of pre-cum had formed on his tip, which he picked up with his thumb when he noticed your gaze and reached out to you.

“I’m clean,” he mentioned immediately, “I got tested shortly after this started with us. Just to be safe.”

You grinned, grabbing Taehyung’s wrist and encircling his thumb with your lips. He tasted slightly salty, but barely noticeable, and with your tongue you traced along his thumb. You began sucking on his finger and heard Taehyung swear under his breath before letting it slide out of your mouth with a “pop”.

“Okay, enough of that.” He reached out a hand towards you and grabbed what he could get, which was your forearm, before pulling you towards him by it. You almost stumbled as you were pulled forward and just barely managed to brace yourself against the backrest next to Taehyung’s head. “Sorry, but I cannot wait.” He gave you an apologetic smile.

You placed one leg on either side of Taehyung’s hips and before you had settled on his thighs, he had leaned forward and taken one of your nipples into his mouth. Shuddering, you exhaled as he circled his tongue around the sensitive bud and sucked on it. You rested your chin on the top of his head and your fingers loosened the little knots that had formed in his hair at the nape of his neck.

“I love your body,” he said before giving your other nipple the attention it needed. “It’s perfect.” His hands traveled down your body and gripped your butt cheeks, which he kneaded. “You’re perfect.”

You reached between both your bodies to take his cock in your hand and slid forward a little. With slow movements, you lowered your hips and let him slide along between your legs.

“Oh god, Baby.”

Taehyung was now gripping your hips to get you into a steady rhythm. His cock slid so wonderfully past your wet opening, giving just the right amount of friction to your clit. You changed the angle of your hips and the next time you moved your hips forward, his tip lightly penetrated you.

“Fuck, wait.”

Taehyung looked to the side towards his bedroom before cursing again.

“You’re clean you said?” you asked, and Taehyung’s head snapped toward you.

“Yeah…”

“I have a contraceptive implant.”

His mouth shaped into an “Oh” as he understood what your statement meant – and the implications it had.

“We don’t have to, I can get a condom too.”

You didn’t miss the way he brushed his thumbs over your sides. To reassure you, or rather himself.

“I don’t mind if you don’t.” You tilted your head and looked at him, waiting. It was his decision now, even if you could see from his expression that he had already made it.

Then he nodded. “But I won’t last long.”

You snorted. He’d said that once before, after you’d had a particularly long foreplay. Still, he had managed to make you come twice.

You propped yourself up on your knees and guided his cock to your opening before sliding down on it a moment later. Each time he stretched you anew with his considerable size and you took a moment to get used to it again. Meanwhile, Taehyung stroked your back, up and down your spine, until you began moving your hips backward.

You let him slide almost all the way out of you before moving forward again.

“Oh, Love,” Taehyung moaned, and at the nickname, your hips stalled.

Taehyung seemed to notice his slip of the tongue as well and slightly panicked, he looked at you.

“Love?” you repeated, letting the nickname roll off your tongue. You didn’t think it was that bad…

“Do you prefer Baby?”

You shook your head, because the longer that one word buzzed around in your head, the more you liked the sound of it. “Love is okay.”

“Just okay then?” Taehyung grinned, the tinge of panic gone again as he noticed your relaxed reaction. “Hmmm…” He left you with the false expectation that he was thinking when he suddenly let his hips snap upward.

You drew in your breath sharply, followed by a moan. You didn’t know how he always did it, but he managed to hit the exact point inside you each time that made your abdomen contract so tightly that the knot already seemed ready to burst.

He held you by the hips as he pounded into you from below. He squeezed your arousal out of you with each thrust and you felt both of your excitement running down your thighs, while his hands kept you upright and in place.

“You–you’re so… so fucking wet and–and warm,” he pressed out with effort between thrusts.

Loudly, you moaned his name. You didn’t care if his neighbors heard you, or the people walking by on the street outside who would surely have to hear how well Taehyung was fucking you.

You raised your head, had you watched Taehyung’s cock split you apart before, and met Taehyung’s gaze. Your lips found each other in a passionate kiss and you pulled him even closer with desperate hands. One of his hands released its grip on your hips and landed hard on your ass. Your moan was swallowed by Taehyung’s mouth as he massaged the tender area.

You let one hand slide between your legs and circled your clit with your finger. The kiss was only interrupted by your moans as you were brought closer and closer to the edge of your approaching orgasm.

“Taehyung–”

“I got you,” you heard him say, your eyes squeezed tightly shut as the knot in your abdomen released all at once and you came, clenching hard around Taehyung’s cock.

Taehyung thrust into you a few more times before he too paused in his movements and pulled you back onto his lap entirely. His loud breathing mingled with yours as you both tried to come down from your high.

“Oh, you’re absolutely incredible,” Taehyung said after a while.

Your sweaty bodies had already melted into one and you felt Taehyung slowly go limp inside you. He sighed before pressing a kiss to your temple and gently lifting you from his lap with a firm grip and laying you backwards on the sofa.

He helped you clean yourself up, being so gentle that you didn’t even flinch as he wiped away the sticky remnant of both of your arousals. While he was putting the trash away, you grabbed your underwear and slipped them on.

You were lifting up your T-shirt when Taehyung returned from the kitchen, a glass of water in each hand. His expression changed when he saw you getting dressed. Wordlessly, you extended a hand to him to gratefully took a glass.

“Are you getting ready to leave?” He didn’t look at you when he asked that, but put exceptionally much focus on putting on his boxers as well.

You let him ponder for a moment longer before letting your shirt fall back to the floor. “Do you have anything more comfortable?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows drew together as he looked up.

You nodded towards your shirt in response, which was crumpled on the floor. “Maybe sweatpants and a hoodie?”

Taehyung seemed to finally understand and his disappointed expression gave way to a relieved smile. “Sure, you want me to get you something?”

You took the few steps towards him and let your fingers dance on his bare chest. “I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie? Order some food and just wind down for the evening?”

He looked at you, the question on his mind visible all over his face. “Does that mean… you want to stay the night?”

You nodded without hesitation. “Yes, I want to stay the night, if that’s okay.”

Taehyung laughed, a hearty, deep laugh that you hadn’t heard in so long. “You bet it’s okay with me,” he answered, pulling you into a hug. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Love.”

Love. What a weird and funny little word.

You couldn’t wait hearing it more often from now on.

. . .

As always, if you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving me some feedback and letting me know what you think! That would mean a lot to me because I was really nervous to post this. Thank you! 💜

#kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #bts imagine #taehyung smut #thebtswritersclub #bangtanarmynet #bts x reader #bts smut #bts fanfic #strangers to lovers

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ratmonky · 3 years

Text

Deceitful Curse

Word Count: 10K

Warnings: non-con, stalking, obsession, mild blood, chikan, gaslighting, manipulation, humiliation, degradation, misogyny, exhibitionism

AO3 Link

As promised, this will be a gift fic for my lovely friend @lyrrotting , I promise I will write your four armed Sukuna fic soon to make up for this shitty fic lol <3

It was said that most people had an angel sitting on their right shoulder and a devil sitting on their left shoulder, the two bickered into the person’s ears about many things. While the devil would try to tempt the person, the angel would become the sound of conscience.

However, Yuuji only had the King of Curses whispering in his ear and he himself had to be the voice of conscience within his own mind.

Certainly, there would be a time he would be tempted to listen.

~~~

Life was good, Yuuji had already graduated over a year ago and gotten his sorcerer license to work until his inevitable execution.

Life was good, everyone had moved on with their lives. Inumaki had gotten a girlfriend, Fushiguro had a girlfriend and from what he heard, Maki and Kugisaki were dating each other.

Life was good, they were all happy.

Life was good, everyone else was happy.

~~~

There was a new coffee shop that had opened just two blocks down from where he lived. Naturally, Yuuji wanted to check it out for the sole purpose of seeing how big the place was. When he invited his friends over to his place and if they ever stayed the night, he wanted to have a place he could take them to for a brunch or a cup of coffee.

Unfortunately for him, the place was small. There were barely a dozen tables and nobody seemingly wanted to sit at the cramped coffee shop when they could walk to the nearby park to enjoy their coffee.

The place was crowded due to rush hour so he returned a couple of hours later to finally order something.

As soon as he walked inside, the sugary smell of the sweets and the strong aroma of the coffee surrounded him.

“Welcome!” said a cheerful voice. It was you, beaming at him with the brightest smile he had ever seen on anyone. It looked too genuine to be a fake service worker's smile.

He hesitantly walked up to the counter with a blush coloring his cheeks from the intensity of your smile that was aimed towards him. “Hi,” he said before lifting his eyes up to the menu displays. “Ah.” He had no idea what to get. “Takeaway, I think, and ahh… Um…”

As if you noticed his struggle, you started talking. “If you like sweets I’d recommend my special summer drink. If you like coffee, I can give you the best brew in the whole city. It isn't strong but the aroma actually tastes like fresh coffee beans, I roast them fresh every day.” You were so bright, still smiling. Didn’t your cheeks hurt? How could anyone be this sweet? “Or I can choose a drink for you! Trust me, I’ll make it count!”

He understood none of the things you were saying but he felt like he could trust you to choose a drink for him, so he nodded approvingly.

Clapping your hands together, you walked behind the coffee machine and disappeared from his view. “You live around here?”

Yuuji was caught off guard and didn’t realize you were talking to him for a while until you repeated your question. “Ah, yes! I live around the corner.”

“I’ll do my best to impress you so you’ll buy coffee from here every day.” Your tone wasn’t flirty. It was friendly and inviting, actually welcoming.

“That’s a good business tactic,” he said, matching your tone. “But I’m not that easy to impress.”

“Isn’t my prices enough to impress you? They’re rather cheap for the service you get and I’m not even talking about the quality of my products.” You reappeared with a plastic coffee mug, it had ice and apparently black coffee in it. You poured some sort of golden cream over the coffee on the counter where he could see it.

Like hypnotized, Yuuji watched with his mouth wide open as the two colors mixed in a gradient effect in his drink before you put a lid on it.

“Was that good enough?” you asked, proudly. “To impress you I mean.”

“Y-yeah.” He reached and took the drink you set on the counter. He was carefully examining the colors in awe when he abruptly realized that he hadn’t even paid yet. Hastily he dug his hand in his pocket and took out his wallet, “I’ll come here more often I think if I like the drink of course.”

“Hmm, you’ll like it so I’m not worried.” You smiled as he paid with his credit card. “See you later…” Furrowing your burrows, you looked at him so he would fill in.

“Itadori,” he introduced himself, blushing. “Yuuji Itadori.”

“(name),” you said, offering a cute smile. “Have a nice day, Itadori.”

“Y-you too.” He waved awkwardly and you did the same with a giggle. It was clear that he was a little overwhelmed.

By the time Yuuji exited the shop, he hadn’t realized how hard he was blushing or how he had forgotten to even try his drink. Then he blushed even harder realizing how embarrassing he acted back in the shop but he shook his head to get over those thoughts.

Decidedly, he took a sip from his coffee and immediately understood why you were so confident that he would be back to buy more.

~~~

The next day, it wasn’t exactly the incredible coffee you had sold him yesterday that brought him here.

It was you.

He was trying to convince himself that wasn’t the case though.

However, Sukuna knew the truth.

~~~

“Being single sucks!” Yuuji complained with a whine after slamming his empty glass on the table.

“You should try those dating apps if you really want a girlfriend,” Fushiguro replied and flicked the ash off his cigarette on the ashtray.

“I agree, Itadori, if you really are determined to be in a relationship then you should try meeting new people.” Yuuta fanned the smoke Fushiguro blew towards him away using his hand with a forced smile.

Inumaki nodded in agreement, continuing to munch on the salted crackers and avoiding drinking.

“It’s easy for all of you with pretty girlfriends to say!” Panda cried, “It’s only me and Itadori who’s single.” He wrapped his big arms around Yuuji and started rocking back and forth.

“You can always book a flight to China to meet with a female Panda?” Yuuji said in a confused tone, “Or the zoo?”

Panda froze and loosened his arms around Yuuji before pushing him away from himself. “That was rude.”

“Huh?” Yuuji raised a brow, still confused.

“His type is more… humane, I think.” Yuuta scratched at his cheeks and raised his brows, hoping that Panda would deny what he just said but he didn’t.

“Wait.” Yuuji’s eyes widened, “So, you’re telling me that it would actually work between you and a human, or is it-”

“Itadori,” Fushiguro said to stop Yuuji from delving deeper into the uncomfortable topic. “Leave Panda’s love life alone.”

“Hmm, why did you bring up the topic of wanting to get a girlfriend?” Yuuta asked, humming thoughtfully. “Do you have someone you like?”

“Deja vu,” Panda mumbled under his breath, nobody heard him.

As soon as the question was asked to him, Yuuji thought of one single person; you. The image of your smile and your cheerful voice. It was just a simple crush, the two of you were total strangers. Yet, he was still thinking about you right now and couldn’t get you out of his mind.

He suppressed all of those thoughts and noticed how everyone was looking at him, waiting for his answer.

“No, I don’t,” Yuuji replied.

~~~

Unlike Sukuna, Yuuji was an inexperienced young man. He was a celibate too. Which meant that to him, sexual desires had to come after love. The feelings of love and affection were important when it came to sex. Having sex was an act of love and a form of affection, to prove to the person he was involved with that he was devoting himself to them.

Pathetic.

The kid had already grown up to be an adult but still had the mentality of a child.

Sukuna knew he could help.

~~~

“You’re coming here more often now,” Sukuna pointed out. “Is it because you know the server likes you?”

“No, she doesn’t like me,” Yuuji deadpanned. He pouted cutely seconds later and watched you walk over to his table holding a tray with his drink on it with a bright smile. “I’m here only because this place makes the best coffee.”

“Here you go,” you chirped, putting Yuuji’s drink on the table. Your friendly smile and gorgeous eyes wandered on his face for a moment longer than usual. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thank you.” He was blushing.

You flashed him another stunning smile before turning around on your heels.

“She’s into you,” Sukuna declared.

Yuuji ignored Sukuna’s words and stared after you as you walked back to the counter to take another order. His eyes couldn’t leave the way your hips moved with each step you took.

Sukuna’s lips on Yuuji’s hand grinned before disappearing.

~~~

“The girl looks like her,” Sukuna said.

“Will you be quiet?” Yuuji groaned and slapped his cheek so he would go away.

It was silent, he smiled to himself. Finally, he had some privacy.

The porn actress spread her legs and Yuuji wrapped his left hand around his cock after licking his palm as he was holding his phone with his right. He slid his fist up along his length and squeezed tightly towards the tip. The pressure felt the best when he applied it to the sensitive tip.

Loud moans coming from the actress filled his apartment since he hadn’t bothered to put on headphones. Not that he needed them when he was living alone but it was a habit now. So, he lowered the volume.

However, there was another reason why he didn’t need to hear the moans of the actress.

“She doesn’t sound like her, does she?” Sukuna made fun of him.

Yuuji ignored him and didn’t bother to tell him that it wasn’t the case. He just needed to cum and go to bed, that was it. He was too used to Sukuna interrupting his self-care time at this point and if the King of Curses didn’t mind watching a guy jerk off to some cheap porn, so be it. They were sharing Yuuji’s body and mind. Or not?

Yuuji focused on the video as the girl bent over and started fingering herself in an awkward position. His hand around his cock started moving to match the way her fingers went in and out of her cunt.

She really looked like you.

Wasn’t that why he had chosen this video?

Nevermind. Forget about it.

He had read or heard somewhere that masturbating with the non-dominant hand could give more pleasure. It was something he had done when he was only a teenager to try it out but now he liked to use his left hand.

It felt different, sometimes his hand went numb and it felt like someone else was touching him. You were touching him.

You.

This had to be how a handjob felt, if you ever gave him a handjob it would definitely feel like this.

Yuuji dropped the phone and closed his eyes, only focusing on his fantasies about you while jerking himself off. His hand moved faster while his hips were desperately thrusting up as if to mimic fucking you.

You would tease him, wouldn’t you? Stare at him with a grin, edge him and even slow down just to make him whine.

Or perhaps you would get rid of your clothes hurriedly to ease yourself down on his cock. Were you a virgin? You would be his first, he would want you to be your first too.

Were you the type to whimper or moan during sex?

Where would you place your hands?

Would you move your hips?

Which position would make you lose yourself?

He would want to be on top, so he could watch your face and kiss you.

What kind of face would you make?

Would you be blushing and moaning?

The image of your eyes overflowing with tears while your face was being stained with the same tears and your ruined makeup appeared within his mind.

Yuuji abruptly came harder than he ever had in his whole life and his seed landed on his stomach, his orgasm left his legs shaking in pleasure.

~~~

He didn’t go to the coffee shop the day after from embarrassment.

~~~

“You weren’t here yesterday,” you remarked while making his drink. “I was sure you were going to be here after I made you my new drink on the menu.”

“Ahh, I was just busy and didn’t have time to swing by.” It was a simple lie and it wasn’t like he could ever tell you that he was scared of himself after he came to his fantasy of seeing you cry. “I didn’t think you’d miss me this much.”

“Well, you’re my only loyal customer,” you pouted and put his drink on the counter. Nobody else was in the shop, another coffee place had opened just around the corner. “You always drink my special brew coffee too. It’s like an honor to me that you like my coffee.”

“It’s the best coffee I’ve ever had,” his reply was instantaneous and honest. “I like this place, I can tell how much love you put into making your drinks and it feels cozy here.”

You were grinning, “Mm, tell me more. Praise me more. What else?”

He started smirking but his blush ruined the smug face he was making. “Never mind, you’re weirding me out.”

“Hey! I was just asking you what else you like about my place! What’s weird about wanting to know how I can make this place better?” you feigned anger.

He wanted to tell you that he was only coming here for you. Wait, no. He came here for the coffee. Nothing else.

“What about making new drinks every week? They’d sell more and you’d get to try out new things?” he said after careful thinking.

“That’s actually a good idea, thank you, Itadori!”

Ahh, the way you said his name… Yuuji wanted to hear you say his name again and again. Over and over again.

“It’s nothing,” he replied, rubbing his neck nervously with his hand. “I’m just trying to help.”

~~~

It started with small words of encouragement.

“That woman likes you, I can tell from the way she smiles at you. Talk to her more and befriend her.”

“It’s not like you to say nice things,” Yuuji said, averting his gaze from yours in embarrassment when you looked his way. He hoped you hadn’t caught him looking. “Besides, she’s just a server. It’s her job to attract customers with a smile and sweet talk.”

“Every server needs a master,” Sukuna spoke through Yuuji’s hand. Nobody could see him since the guy had his hand pressed against his ear. “She doesn’t look at you the same way she looks at the other peasants here.”

Yuuji didn’t say anything.

~~~

His finger hovered over the follow button.

”That’s her?” Sukuna asked, his ancient soul was getting used to the technology he saw his vessel was using. “Those are her pictures?”

“Yeah.” Yuuji gulped, nodding languidly. It would be weird if he followed you, right? He had found your account by chance. Not because he found the account of your coffee shop and then scrolled through the following list to find a friend of yours and then searched through their following list to find your name to eventually find your account. Only by chance.

“She looks different in the pictures.” Sukuna was right. You were smiling as usual but you weren’t wearing your cafe uniform. You were wearing normal clothes. Clothes that revealed more of your skin, your shoulders, legs, thighs, and in some pictures your cleavage. There was a smug look on your face when you were looking at the camera as if you knew whoever was looking at these pictures was admiring your beauty.

“Yeah, she does.” He was now looking at a picture of you in a dress that fit you just right, showing your curves he hadn’t noticed in your uniform.

“She’s beautiful.” Sukuna could sense the intensity of his vessel’s stare at your picture.

“Yeah.”

“I’d save that picture if I were you.” Sukuna grinned.

Yuuji took a screenshot.

~~~

“You should be more assertive if you want her to consider you as a man,” Sukuna said as Yuuji was walking towards the coffee shop. “Women like confident men.”

“You come from the ancient times, this is the new age. Women are equal with men and I want her to feel-”

“Women want men. Not boys. Definitely not brats like you.” Sukuna disappeared when his vessel entered the coffee shop.

Yuuji sighed in a dismissive manner, “Whatever you say.”

~~~

Women want men.

~~~

“What do women like in a man?” Yuuji asked.

The happy laughter of the guys died out as soon as he asked that and the loud chatter of the other people inside the bar couldn’t fill the dead silence Yuuji created.

They were all looking at each other around the table now. Nobody wanted to talk.

“I guess they like guys who are assertive,” Yuuta responded when no one else did. “Megumi, why don’t you say something? What does your girlfriend like about you?”

Fushiguro was inanimate as he stubbed out his cigarette on the ashtray and took a long moment to consider what he was going to say. “She said that likes that I’m possessive and get jealous when she talks to other guys.”

“Hmm, possessive and jealous...” Yuuta nodded and then turned to Inumaki. “And your girlfriend liked that she can depend on you, right?”

“Salmon.”

“There you have it,” Yuuta concluded. “They like possessive guys who they can depend on!”

“What about you, Okkotsu?” Yuuji asked. “What does your girlfriend like about you?”

The person in question looked a little lost and taken aback that he was being asked. He had to take a deep breath to keep his facial expressions normal. “She likes that I take control.”

“How?” Yuuji was desperate.

“Isn’t that a bit invasive question, Itadori?” Fushiguro warned in a soft tone.

“It’s not invasive at all!” Yuuta forced a laugh and spoke in the same joking manner. “It means that I was a little pushy and bold, I think?”

Both Fushiguro and Inumaki started agreeing.

“I see.” Yuuji realized that Sukuna was right.

~~~

“Isn’t that her picture?”

Yuuji ignored him and continued rubbing his cock.

His hand started moving faster, his eyes were trained on the picture of you, eyes roaming on your body and imagining how it would feel to run his hands along your curves.

“She looks like she’d love taking it from her ass.”

“Shut up, she’s not like that!” he immediately protested. His cheeks were bright red from shame. He had never done it to the pictures of the people he had met. Only celebrities. It didn’t feel right.

“She’s a woman. I know what women want and like.” Sukuna was confident. “I know exactly what she wants, unlike you.”

Yuuji tried blocking out the curse’s voice in his head and tightened his grip as well as his pace. He was imagining you again, eyes full of tears and you were twisting your body to push him weakly away with your tiny hands as he took you from behind.

Thanks to that fantasy, he came in an instant.

~~~

Yuuji was a good guy.

He was sacrificing his life to save others every day and he was going to be executed for the sake of saving humanity from the curses.

He could never be the bad guy.

~~~

“Welcome,” you chirped as soon as he walked through the door. “The usual?”

Yuuji awkwardly smiled and bowed his head to greet you. “Y-yeah.”

“Had a good day?” Turning around, you walked away from the counter to reach the coffee machine, disappearing from his view.

Yuuji made his way towards the counter and tried recalling how his day had been. He had exorcised a couple of curses and even got the opportunity to catch up with Fushiguro and his girlfriend when they ran into each other downtown. To put it simply, his day had been the worst. “It was a good day, how was yours?”

Dumb.

You were only making small talk because he was a regular here, nothing more. He knew people who worked in small coffee shops like this were always friendly to attract customers, to give a sense of home to people who come here for a drink or the tasty sweets. It was a marketing strategy.

“My day was tiring. I took your advice and put a new drink on the menu but apparently, it’s really good because everyone wanted to try it. However, the thing is… it’s so hard to make it!!” You appeared in front of him again with his drink and pointed behind you, at the menu displays. “I ran out of strawberries twice and had to call to ask my friend to go buy some from the store for me.”

“Woah, that sounds really exhausting!” he said in a tone to match your own while you were making a cutesy pouting face. “Hmm.” There was a momentary pause as he took his coffee from you and grinned. “I changed my mind, I also want to try this incredibly hard-to-make drink too.”

Your shoulders slacked and you gave an exaggerated sigh. “I thought you of all people would pity me…”

“I’m known for being ruthless,” he joked, chuckling. The smile on his face was genuine and he couldn’t stop smiling, it was as if he could never be in a bad mood around you. “But yes, I was joking. No need to call a friend to buy more strawberries or anything.”

You pointed a finger at him with mock threat and anger. “Don’t make fun of me or I won’t serve you again.”

“That’s better than threatening to spit in my coffee.” He tilted his head and shrugged.

“You said it as if I don’t do it all the time.” You raised a brow.

Both of you laughed but once the joke died out, there was an awkward silence.

“Anyway,” you said, gesturing towards one of the tables you clearly had wiped and cleaned because you were getting ready to close the place. “You can take a seat there if you wanna, I sadly have to finish up cleaning.”

When he looked around he could see that there was a mop you were planning to use. He didn’t want to disturb you any longer. It would be weird if he sat down when you were desperately trying to close the shop for the night.

It was rude and you were only being polite to him.

“I’ll drink this on the way home,” Yuuji replied with a nervous grin, and the tension from your shoulders visibly relaxed.

“Have a good evening!” you chirped after him as he turned around his heels.

“You too!” He exited the shop.

“Coward,” Sukuna spat.

“Please, be quiet.” Not again. Not this devil again.

“You could’ve fucked her against that counter. She was all over you, begging for you to make a move.” There was an undeniable smile in his voice.

“Be quiet, will you?” No. You were just an innocent girl. Someone who was nice to him because he came to buy coffee. He was just a customer.

“You, brat, are going to die as a celibate if you keep this up. Have you ever stick it inside a woman before? Do you have any idea of how heavenly a woman’s warmth is? The way they squirm and moan under you as they give you the look of an angel’s and beg for you to take it slow, cling onto you with tiny little hands-”

“Shut up!” Yuuji slammed the coffee on the concrete ground, his chest heaving in anger and frustration.

Some passersby stared at him and walked further away from where he was standing.

Sukuna disappeared with a smile.

Yuuji took a deep breath to calm himself.

~~~

The bells over the wooden door chimed, announcing his arrival.

“Hi!” you quickly yelled and appeared by the counter, your smile widened when you realized it was Yuuji. “The usual?”

“You don’t need to ask,” he replied, eyes softening and shoulders relaxing. He felt like himself in here, he felt at home.

“Did you have a good day?” you asked before disappearing behind the coffee machine.

“It was a bad day until I came here,” he said lumberingly, his cheeks flushed from nervousness. He was terrible at flirting.

You laughed, he couldn’t see your reaction but you sounded happy when you spoke. “Ahh, I’m glad I’m able to make you happy! It brings me joy when I manage to help others have a good day in one way or another!”

So kind and selfless.

The two of you were a perfect match.

Seconds later you were standing in front of him with his drink on top of the counter. “I hope you’ll have a great rest of the night, Itadori! I’m glad my coffee was able to help you feel better.”

He opened his mouth to say that it wasn’t the coffee that made him happy but he closed it when he realized how weird it would sound. “Thank you.”

~~~

“I like you and I think we should hang out sometime,” he said, smiling awkwardly. Seconds of silence passed and he slapped a hand on his face in embarrassment. After taking a deep breath he tried again. “Do you wanna go out for dinner this weekend?”

“You are acting like a brat,” Sukuna mocked. “Go up to her and tell her you to want to make her yours like a real man.”

Yuuji ignored him while staring at his reflection in the mirror and groaned. He hated when Sukuna said things that made sense.

His clothes were ironed and his hair was slicked back with the hair gel he had bought in a rush.

“You look pathetic.” Brutally honest, Sukuna’s voice had a tone of embarrassment in it. He was ashamed of living inside him.

“I look good.” Yuuji wasn’t going to let him ruin this moment. He was going to prove to everyone else that he could get the girl if he acted like himself. There was no need to be pretending something he wasn’t when it came to you. He knew you would want him to be honest.

“She’s going to reject you, brat. Don’t ridicule yourself and take my advice.”

“What’s your advice?” Yuuji scoffed, “Manhandle her?”

“You’re feeling the instinct of mating and lust,” Sukuna said. “You want to fuck her, you don’t want to make love to her or whatever the humans call it.”

“What?” Yuuji forced a smile on his face and laughed hysterically, “Are you even hearing what you’re saying?”

“Love isn’t real. Obsession, lust, and devotion are real though. You want to breed her. Don’t mix up libido with what peasants would call love.”

There was a grim pause.

“I like her,” Yuuji said. “She’s pretty and she seems like a nice person. Her smile is cute and-”

“Do whatever you want, brat,” Sukuna yawned, getting ready to disappear from Yuuji’s cheek. “Try not to throw a tantrum when you get rejected.”

“You were the one who told me to go up to her and make her mine?” Frustrated, Yuuji rolled his eyes in irritation.

“Making some woman yours doesn’t mean to woo her or make love to her. Are all brats the same as you? Don’t you know that women are pleasure dolls for men? They live to please men.” Sukuna was getting serious, he raised his voice with each sentence. “Women are like fish, they don’t have feelings.”

“That’s not true.” Yuuji’s voice got a little weaker than he had intended to. “You’re wrong.” It didn’t sound like he was denying what Sukuna had said and trying to convince himself that wasn’t the truth instead.

Sukuna disappeared from his cheek with a malicious grin.

Shaking his head to gather his thoughts, Yuuji quickly walked out of his room and exited his apartment.

It took him twenty minutes to get to the coffee shop when it usually took him barely ten minutes. He had gotten flowers for you. Not really sure which ones to get, he had chosen one of the pink and red bouquets on display. He was nervous and sweating. He had to wipe his palms down on his jeans to keep them dry way too many times, he had stopped counting after the seventh time.

He stood outside of the cafe, trembling in excitement. There weren't any windows at your coffee shop thus he couldn’t see if there were any customers inside. He could only hope that it would be just the two of you alone since there was something very special he needed to tell you.

I love you.

He grabbed the handle and opened the door. You were behind the counter, looking down at your phone. As soon as the bells over the door chimed you put it away and smiled, “Welcome!”

I love you.

Yuuji’s grip tightened around the bouquet he was holding, his cheeks started burning in nervousness.

“Woahh, you’re going on a date?” you asked while he walked up to the counter, your voice was as cheerful as ever. “I couldn’t recognize you, should I give you the usual?”

“Uhh, no.” He paused. When both of you stared at each other he realized how awkward and confusing his answer was. “Um, it’s not a date but I’m gonna ask the girl I like out.” His face was turning beet red.

“Aww, that’s so adorable! She’s so lucky, you’ve even bought her flowers, so cutee!!” You pressed a hand over your chest, feigning being hurt. “Ahh, my heart can’t handle it.”

“Y-yeah.” He blushed harder, shifting his weight on his feet nervously. “She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

“You better treat her right then and I hope she’ll say yes.” You didn't miss the eyes on you and continued smiling in discomfort. “The usual?” you asked once it started getting a little too quiet and he nodded.

The uncomfortable silence started making Yuuji reconsider what to say or if he should say them at all. You put his coffee on the counter before he could take his time thinking.

“Is that all?” you asked as you were putting his order’s total into the cash register.

I love you.

“N-no,” he replied in a quiet voice while reluctantly taking out his wallet to pay for his coffee.

“I hope you have a lovely night, Itadori. Go get the girl!” you cheered him on with a cute smile.

“Actually,” he started, looking at you with his flushed cheeks and fidgeting with his fingers. “Ahh, (name), I wanted to tell you something.”

“Hmm, what is it?” You were smiling, watching him in confusion.

Yuuji decided that he shouldn’t beat around the bush at this moment because he wanted to seem confident. He knew if he didn’t spit it out now or else he would never say it. He had to get to the point and dive in ahead without any hesitation.

“I like you.”

Lifting the bouquet, he held it up towards you as you looked at him and then at the bouquet repeatedly with wide eyes but you didn’t seem shocked.

You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again.

“I mean, you’re such a nice person and I found myself always looking forward to seeing you. I think about you all the time and I can’t get you out of my head. I used to hate it here, it’s a large city with too many people… but then you took over this shop, and now I… don’t hate it that much.”

He was saying all that with a puffed chest and a big goofy grin on his face, his cheeks were blushing as he tried not to look nervous. However, when he saw the way your smile curled down to a frown as he kept on talking, it felt like someone poured iced water down his head.

Yuuji couldn’t breathe.

“Um, that’s flattering,” you said, forcing a smile on your face and taking the bouquet from him. “Were these for me?”

“Y-yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

You nodded languidly, noticing that you were the girl he wanted to ask out. “I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I really appreciate it.” You couldn’t find the words that wouldn’t hurt him.

Gradually, he noticed how uncomfortable you looked and his smile disappeared from his face.

“I’m sorry but I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m really busy with working and taking care of this cafe but I appreciate your feelings.” You averted your gaze from him for a moment, a scoff left your lips. Were you laughing at him? “I apologize if my affable demeanor gave you the wrong idea but sadly I can’t return your feelings.”

He looked down to his feet to pull himself together, an icy shiver ran through him as he spoke. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

So childish.

“Of course,” you said, forcing a chuckle.

“I hope we can still be friends, I wouldn’t wanna lose you.” Yuuji was desperate, he couldn’t imagine a life without you.

“Of course!” you repeated with a louder forced chuckle. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship!”

“Me neither.” He couldn’t lift his head or move, his body had turned to stone.

The pauses started to grow longer and eerily quiet. You were the one who spoke next.

“Thank you so much, Itadori, I’m flattered by your confession and I hope we can be close friends!” Pressing the bouquet on your chest and hugging it with both arms, you used a soft tone to talk to him. “I need to close down and catch the train home, I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah…” Yuuji turned around and walked out of the cafe without saying anything else, leaving the coffee he had paid for on the counter.

“I told you, didn’t I, brat?” Sukuna mocked, voice full of mischief as he appeared on his vessel’s cheek.

“Leave me alone,” Yuuji hissed. He was walking away from the coffee shop, not going home though, not yet. He needed to calm down.

“Women want to be ordered around, brat. They want men to take control. If you act like a brat, they won’t see you as a man.”

Yuuji’s breath hitched upon hearing Sukuna’s words. His knees started feeling weaker than they ever could but he had to stand proud, assert his dominance over the King of Curses and collect himself.

It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair that he was in this situation, it wasn’t fair that he was rejected, it wasn’t fair that he was cursed to live in despair. He was eventually going to get executed and he hadn’t had a youth where he fulfilled any of his dreams. He had wanted only one thing, to feel happy with one person and that childish wish must have been too much to ask. Not only he got rejected but now he had Sukuna making fun of him.

“You must be a man and make her yours.”

“She told me she didn’t want a relationship.” Yuuji couldn’t deal with him anymore. “We’re friends.”

“Do you want a woman for yourself or not, brat?” Sukuna sighed in irritation before humming thoughtfully. “I’ll help you,” he offered generously, “I’ll help you make her yours.”

“Leave me alone, Sukuna.” Yuuji was getting angrier, and soon he started to tremble in rage.

“Let me help you to get a taste of a woman, brat.”

“She rejected me-”

“She’s just playing hard to get. A woman like her wants to be chased. She didn’t tell you to get lost because she wants you to keep coming back to her so you’ll continue to give her your attention. That girl would spread her legs for anyone who gives her attention if she wasn’t a prude. She’s a virgin, that must be why she’s acting like this. I can smell it, the blood that’s yet to bleed once her innocence is taken. You need to take it, brat.”

“You want me to rape her, is that it?” Yuuji spat, he had never thought he would say those words out loud.

“I never said that, brat.” Sukuna let out a chuckle, lying. “Let me show you what I mean.”

“I’m not letting you take over my body,” he replied coldly.

“I don’t want to take over your body, that woman is yours,” Sukuna assured.

“Then, what do you want me to do?” Yuuji asked.

Sukuna grinned viciously, “Let's go back to where she works first.”

~~~

“Itadori-”

The door closed after him with a soft click.

You let out a frustrated sigh and pressed the bouquet against your chest, hugging them tightly.

That hadn’t gone well at all.

Your eyes landed on the coffee he forgot to take with him on the counter. “I’m the worst,” mumbling, you put the flowers on the counter to prepare the cafe for closing.

You took the paper coffee mug and poured it out, the dark liquid went down the sink as you watched, hypnotized and lost in your thoughts.

That guy… He wasn’t like any other you met. He was adorable and matched your energy like no other person ever had. You enjoyed being around Itadori and you were glad he felt the same but… he knew you for less than two weeks. He was clearly confused, he had made a friend who he managed to click instantly and mistook his feelings for love.

Nonetheless, you felt terrible. It was never easy to reject someone, especially when you were so busy trying to manage the coffee shop of your dreams you finally got to open.

Itadori had to understand that. He would understand, right?

Oh, he had looked so excited and nervous. He had even slicked his messy hair back and brought flowers…

You hoped he would get over it quickly or at least, he would come to the shop tomorrow so you could comfort him. The two of you needed to talk a little more, you needed for him to know that you didn’t want to break his heart. You felt the need to apologize, ahh, so stupid. You hadn’t even done anything wrong.

It hurt though.

It still hurt.

You hated making other people feel bad. You wanted to be the reason behind their smiles and laughter, not tears.

Packing your stuff and turning off the lights, you left the shop. The door was locked two times as usual before you hurried down the street towards the subway.

The station was packed more than usual and you immediately regretted not listening to your friend’s advice on renting that one apartment down the block. But complaining right now wasn’t going to get you home.

You hopped on the train and shielded the bouquet with your arms wrapped around it as you tried not to get crushed by the swarm of people getting on the train. Once the doors closed, you had successfully managed to find a place by the train door with a little space so you could avoid getting the bouquet crushed.

Facing the doors, you stared out the small window, it was dark but every second or another a light would zoom in and out. You weren’t sure if they were there for navigating or not but you found yourself too focused on the lights as the sudden brake of the train made you stumble forward.

When you regained your balance to stand up straight, there was someone behind you. They were a little too close but it was nothing out of the ordinary, you always found yourself being pressed against other people during rush hours in the subway.

At the next stop, the doors on the opposite side opened and another swarm of people filled the train. Now, the person behind you was trapping you between their body and the door that was in front of you.

You were showing extra carefulness to not let the bouquet get crushed, you wanted to take it home in one piece without anything happening to it. These flowers were beautiful, they smelled amazing too. You wanted to cherish them even if you hadn’t managed to cherish Itadori’s feelings.

As you were inspecting the bouquet you saw a small card that was attached to one of the flowers. You checked it and realized what it was.

It was Itadori’s phone number and a cute little heart drawn next to it with a small message.

‘I’d love to hear more of your voice and complaints about work in private!!’

You didn’t realize you were smiling at the note until something brought you out of your trance.

A voice to be exact.

“Your lover got them to you?” A husky voice asked.

Lifting your head, you stared at the small window. From the almost transparent reflection on the window, you could see that the guy behind you had talked. You couldn’t see his face from his hoodie covering his features but you could tell that he was talking to you.

“Um, not really,” you replied. It wasn’t abnormal to you that other people made small talk to you, you talked to strangers more than anyone else every day. You always overshared anyway. “They are from a close friend.”

“He must love you.” There was an undeniable smile in his voice.

You forced a chuckle, looking down in front of you. “Y-yeah.”

When the train braked abruptly, he got closer. “Touch her-” It was a whisper from the same guy, you were unable to make out the words clearly but you decided to ignore him for the rest of the ride. You needed to get off in twenty minutes and were too tired to act friendly.

That was when you felt the back of his hand brushing against your ass.

You froze, before you could call it an accident and blame it on the crowded train, he pressed the back of his hand more purposefully on the soft flesh.

Fear paralyzed your body and you found yourself at a loss of words. You didn’t know what to do, you wanted to move away but you were trapped between him and the door.

“You’re not gonna ask for help?” he asked, leaning forward to mock you.

It was too humiliating and you were unable to think of anything. Somehow, you shook your head to tell him to stop because your voice wouldn’t come out. You pressed the bouquet harder against your chest in panic, praying to whoever was listening that the guy would stop.

You heard him say something but every other voice was muffled now, it was as if your ears were filled with cotton.

The only thing you did was to hope that you could muster up the courage to push him away and get out on the next stop.

Why was this happening to you?

Why?

“See, I told you.” Sukuna scoffed as Yuuji’s entire face was beet red. “She’s not even gonna ask for help because she wants you to continue.”

Yuuji saw your blushed cheeks in the reflection in the window, you were breathing heavily and standing still.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

When Sukuna convinced him to follow you into the subway train and let him do the talking, he was conflicted because he wasn’t sure what the King of Curses wanted to prove but now, he knew.

“Women live to be conquered by men,” Sukuna concluded, “Do you understand it now or should I elaborate more?”

Yuuji was quiet.

“She’ll bend down and beg for you to fuck her right now if you continue touching her.”

You wouldn’t.

Right?

Using his whole hand, Yuuji groped your ass while trembling from dismay but he couldn’t forethought the way you reacted being anything other than screaming for help or pushing him away.

Instead of fighting back or doing anything he had thought you would, you mewled and stayed exactly where you were.

They were all right.

Fushiguro, Inumaki and Yuuta. They were all right.

Sukuna was more than right. He had been trying to help him but Yuuji was too blind to see it.

“Check her cunt, I bet she’s soaking wet.” Sukuna had said to mock his vessel. He didn’t expect for him to move his hand between your legs and under your skirt to press his fingers against your clothed pussy. Neither did you.

Letting out a squeal, you hunched forward, pressing your legs together in panic as his digits moved along your clothed slit that was completely damp.

He started rubbing his fingers between your folds, your juices soaked your panties and made sloppy sounds each time he moved his digits.

“I can hear it from here, did you wet yourself, or are you this wet for me?” Sukuna laughed audibly.

You shook your head, slouching further down and trying to move away from Yuuji’s hands.

“Women aren’t good liars,” Sukuna said as Yuuji slouched forward with you and pressed himself against your ass. “You’re aching to have a cock inside you, no?”

“Please,” you begged. You wanted him to stop.

“Oh, look, she’s asking so politely to be filled with a cock.” Sukuna made fun of your misery while watching the brat finally grow into a man.

Yuuji was sure Sukuna had taken over his body because he would never hump the girl he liked as he was fingering her over her clothes in a train. In public, he reminded himself, in a train and in public where nobody seemed to care.

His hands were moving on their own, he hooked a finger under the elastic edge of your panties to pull them to the side.

“W-wait, please,” you whispered in a weak voice, finally using a hand to grab his wrist to try to pull him away from your pussy. You weren’t strong or convincing enough though.

Yuuji slipped his fingers inside you and grinded his growing erection against your ass, earning a surprised moan out of you.

The hand that was grabbing his wrist immediately went to cover your mouth to suppress your voice as he started humping you to deliberately mimic fucking you.

“Please, stop…” Your voice was fainter than a whisper behind your hand.

“You say that but you’re pitifully trembling in anticipation.” His lips were brushing against the shell of your ear but it was as if he wasn’t using his mouth to talk.

“I’m not…” You pressed your legs together and trapped his hand between your thighs while he twirled his digits around inside you.

“Lying isn’t cute, you know.” There was a smile in his deep voice, “Come on try harder to lie and make me believe you don’t want it.” He dragged his tongue along the shell of your ear, earning a surprised but muffled moan from you.

Yuuji brought his other hand up to cup your breast over your shirt, his cock was painfully hard against his jeans, and the knowledge of him touching his crush was too much for him to handle. He could cum in his pants if he wasn’t careful enough. Sukuna was saying the most vulgar things to you but instead of pushing him away, you were staying exactly where you were. It was fascinating to see how much you were begging to be touched.

It disturbed him a little, would you let any stranger touch you like this? Would you be this wet for anyone?

Yuuji didn’t want to know the answer but Sukuna did.

“Come on, be honest. Would you be this keen to be fucked by any man or is it because it’s me?” Sukuna asked, he was barely holding himself to switch with the brat, he loved corrupting innocent souls like you. He loved seeing the painful and pathetic cries they would let out as their faces were stained with tears.

You shook your head rapidly as his fingers inside you curled to rub a sweet spot you didn’t know existed.

“So, does that mean you wouldn’t want to be fucked by anyone but me?” Sukuna laughed while Yuuji let out a low groan, grinding harder against your ass, humping you roughly.

“N-nooo,” you were sobbing now, tears started running down your cheeks.

“Good girl… You’re finally being honest. You hear that? She would never want to be fucked by anyone but me.”

“T-that’s not what I meant…”

It was fun to tease girls like you. Sukuna could feel your fear and took incredible joy from hearing your voice crack. “Now, that’s cute… I wanna hear you cry out my name in your cute voice too.”

Yuuji groaned, shaking his head as if Sukuna was going to listen to him.

“S-Sukuna,” he mocked your crying. “Come on, say it just like that and beg for me to fuck you.”

Your body was shaking in fear, your cries only spurred him on and you didn’t know what to do. “P-please stop, S-Sukuna.” The way you whimpered his name, there was no way Sukuna could hold back.

“You better take her innocence before I do it myself, brat.” Sukuna was a man of his word, he had promised the brat to not touch you but if he didn’t man up and fucked you here, he would have no choice but to do it himself. He would never let a girl’s innocence go to waste. The blood of purity was something holy for curses like him. It was the nectar of the gods from the most ancient times, something that could only be attained by the perfect innocent virgins.

“Don’t you dare,” Yuuji spat, speaking for the first time. “She’s mine.”

You didn’t hear him though. His fingers were thrusting in and out of you vigorously while he was humping you and fondling your tit. Your walls clenched around his digits as he moved his hand on your chest between your bodies to impatiently pull the front of his pants down.

Realizing what was about to happen when he finally pulled his cock free and hiked your skirt up, you stared at your reflection on the window, crying and begging him to stop.

Yuuji froze momentarily, pulling his fingers out of you. He could see your expression in the window but you couldn’t see his face. He was stunned by seeing your cheeks wet with tears and mascara running down to ruin more of your makeup, it was… it was purely so erotic and better than his fantasies.

He slammed his hips forward and buried the entire length of his cock in your pussy.

Your virgin walls squeezed tightly around him and the sharp pain of your hymen being torn made fresh tears run down your cheeks. Your hand covering your mouth went to the door in front of you to keep your balance because of the ferocity of his thrust. Your lips parted to scream in pain but his fingers being shoved inside your mouth stopped you.

You tasted your bitter juices on his fingers as he twirled them around your tongue, catching the muscle between his knuckles.

Yuuji felt lightheaded by the fact that he was actually having sex with his crush, on top of all that, you were both each others’ first. He knew he was going to cherish this memory forever and even though he would have liked to do it in a bed with the lights off, this was fine too.

It didn’t matter where he was as long as he had his cock inside of you.

With a moan, he staggeringly pulled his hips back to abruptly slam into your pussy. The blood of your innocence acted as a lubricant, made it easier for him to slip inside, and made a sloppy sound each time he thrust inside.

You could feel his entire weight settle on your back while he nuzzled against the side of your neck before he shakily licked the sensitive skin to get a taste of you. Instinctively, you tried moving your head away from his mouth but his fingers in your mouth prevented you. To put it simply, you were trapped and were at his mercy.

He picked up a discreet but still desperate pace to fuck you, he was still cautious of the two of you being in public but he was still delirious to be having sex with you. Sex. Did it always feel this good? Were you feeling good too? You wanted it, he knew you did because you told Sukuna you wanted it.

Slamming his hips forward, he knocked the air out of your lungs, you gasped on his fingers, drooling all over yourself from having your mouth forcefully kept open by his long digits.

Yuuji was hopeless to mark his territory, to mark you as his. He wanted everyone to know that you belonged to someone when they looked at you. You were his and only his.

His cock grew bigger inside you at the thought of him owning you. He started fucking you frantically, no longer bothering if the people around had noticed or not. Your cunt tightened around his cock and you felt his teeth sink into the sensitive flesh of your neck. He bit hard, hard enough to draw blood and leave you trembling in numbing pain.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the tip of his cock hit a sweet spot and your legs shook uncontrollably under you, they were struggling to carry your weight.

His teeth sank deeper into your flesh and you dropped the bouquet you were holding against your chest to involuntarily arch your back instead. He chewed on your skin as he felt your virgin walls pulsate around his cock, you were begging to be filled with his seed, weren’t you?

Women were nothing but a bunch of breeding holes anyway. They all acted like innocent angels when deep down they all were whores. Pleasure toys for men. They lived to please men, didn’t they?

You lived to please Yuuji, didn’t you?

Yuuji pulled his hand out from your mouth and stopped biting you. He licked the blood from your neck to focus on fucking you with frenzied thrusts instead. All of his inexperience and desperation were behind his thrusts, along with his entire weight, forcing you to take the very shape of his cock and never forget the girth of it.

Continuing to peppering small kisses on your neck, he started angling his hips just right to hit the spot that made your knees unbuckle. One, two, three thrusts, and your legs were a shaking mess. You moaned in response before he wrapped an arm around you to keep you up on your feet.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Sukuna spoke suddenly, startling both of you. “You shouldn’t hold back anymore.”

Yuuji wasn't sure which one of you he was talking to but he kept on nodding and moving his hips.

“Nobody else is going to hear you, give me an honest answer,” Sukuna was chuckling. “How does it feel?”

How does it feel to be fucked?

How does it feel to be fucked on a train?

How does it feel to be fucked in public?

How does it feel to have your innocence taken away?

How does it feel to indulge the darker parts of your mind?

Yuuji’s hips stuttered when your walls clenched around him tightly as you refused to answer.

“I won’t know how it feels if you don’t tell me, (name).”

Your mouth popped open and you moaned upon hearing your name. How did he know your name?

As soon as he thrust into your pussy, you forgot about it and let out a moan.

Were you always this depraved?

He continued fucking you frantically. His pace was faster and more ruthless, he was close. With each thrust of his hips, he left you moaning in involuntary pleasure but there was no denying that it felt good.

It felt so good.

“Tell me, (name).”

It felt so good.

“Come on, tell me.”

“Please,” you begged. It feels so good. Feels so good.

“That’s not what I wanna hear,” Sukuna murmured. “Come on now.”

The automated voice announced the next stop.

“Hurry it up already.” He was getting impatient.

“It feels so good,” you whimpered, defeated.

“Good girl,” Sukuna grinned before disappearing from Yuuji’s cheek.

The shame overwhelmed all of your senses and you looked at your reflection in the window once more, you caught a glimpse of your aroused expression. You were such a whore.

Yuuji slammed his hips forward one last time and you felt the small twitch of his balls against your skin before his cock twitched, spurting thick ropes of cum inside you.

The train stopped and he pulled out of you.

His seed started gushing out of your pussy before starting to trickle down your legs. Most of the bodily fluid had pooled under you and when you fell hard on the ground, they soaked into your skirt.

The guy who assaulted you was nowhere to be seen as the doors of the train on the other side opened. Many people hopped off the train but nobody paid any attention to you and you were sure they had been oblivious to what had happened. Nobody would care anyway.

A sob tore out of you and you tried getting up. Your legs were like jelly but as you managed to stand up, you noticed the bouquet you had dropped. More tears started to come out, they blurred your vision and you found yourself grabbing it from the ground.

Thankfully, it wasn’t crushed.

The train doors closed and it started moving forward while you were trying to fix your skirt.

Ah, that was your stop…

You sobbed again but pressed a hand over your mouth to not disturb anyone. Your crying didn’t stop even after you got off of the train on the next stop. You wanted to call someone to help you get back home because you weren’t sure if you could make it alone. Your legs were hurt, the throbbing pain coming from between your legs wouldn’t let you walk or stand up.

You weren’t going to tell them what had happened. Nobody could know. You didn’t need their pity. You were too ashamed.

Sitting on a bench, you scrolled down your contacts but none of the names there would help you. Not unless they had something to gain from it. Wasn’t that why you dropped everything and moved here to open a coffee shop?

How pathetic of you.

People only used you for your kindness.

You shifted on your seat and something slipped out from the bouquet. When you picked it up, you noticed that it was the note Itadori had written for you.

There was an ugly pause before you dialed the unknown number and a familiar voice responded.

“Hey,” he sounded awkward. Of course, he would, you rejected him. “What’s up?”

“Itadori,” you whimpered, voice cracking. Immediately, you cursed yourself for being this pathetic.

“A-are you o-okay? W-what happened?”

Bursting into tears once again, you only told him that you only needed help in shame after clearing your throat.

It took him barely fifteen minutes to arrive at the station to get you. You wiped your tears as soon as he came into your view. He was breathless, face beet red from running.

“You okay?” he asked in between breaths. “I ran here as fast as I could.”

He ran here.

Has anyone cared for you this much?

“Yeah, thank you and ahh, I… This is embarrassing… I twisted my ankle and needed help getting home.” You were never a good liar but you hoped he was gullible enough to believe it. “I know it’s weird to call you here but none of my friends would come if I called-”

“Ah, it’s no problem!” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and chuckled. He had been worried for nothing. “I can carry you, that’s what friends are for, right?!”

You nodded and bit your lip to prevent yourself from crying. He was too kind. Too similar to you.

“Want me to carry you on my back? Or like this?” He emphasized his words by holding his hands in front of himself to show you that he was offering to carry you bridal style.

“Yeah, that would be better.” You masked the shame with a fake smile. You were embarrassed that you were pathetic to ask him for help even after you rejected him earlier tonight.

He smiled and took a step closer towards the bench. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he slid his arm under the back of your knees and placed a hand on your back to support you as he lifted you up to take you home.

You were grateful that you had a friend like him in your life.

~~~

The next day Yuuji came to the coffee shop to take your offer from the last night about giving him a free coffee drink of his choice.

You served him his coffee with a smile and sat with him on one of the tables, talking about your day as he listened to you complain.

In the end, Sukuna was right, Yuuji realized.

Women were begging to be fucked. Women secretly wanted it and that was why you were acting indifferent after all that happened the day before.

He had been worried over nothing, besides, he needed to be more confident and assertive like everyone told him to be. Then he would get the girl. That was what every article he read online, all of his friends and people around him told him. That was what Sukuna told him.

“Wanna go get dinner after you close the place?” he asked, taking a mouthful of his coffee.

“I need to clean and it might take a long while-”

“I’ll help,” he replied, smiling. “Everything’s on me.”

How could you say no to that? How could you say no to anything he had to say?

In your eyes, he was the nicest guy in the world.

Were you really going to pass on the opportunity to have him in your life?

“It’s a date then?” You were grinning, cheeks flushing as you said it. Slowly, you placed your hand over his on the table.

Yuuji gave you a blank stare, something sinister sparkled deep within his eyes but you couldn’t see it. Unbeknownst to you, his other hand under the table had a mouth on it that had an unsettling grin on it too. It was funny how clueless you were. Nonetheless, Yuuji took your hand in his to give you a reassuring squeeze and made you blush harder before agreeing, “It’s a date.”

#idk if i should tag this with the characters tbh this was too dark for me...#i won't tag it cuz i don't want anyone reading this lmao anywayy #i know my endings suck but yeah <3 #panda x munkey fic coming up next <333 #anywayyyy going inactive again byeeee <3

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djadins · 3 years

Text

aurora glow | thrawn x f!reader — part two

warnings: if you squint there is fluff

rating: T

word count: 2.8k

Thrawn requested your company through the rest of the day in order to have you available for any questions he might have. You trailed behind him as he ordered his men around effortlessly. Some were scrounging in the woods around you, some were working on repairs. Others were guarding the perimeter that had been set up. The plan was to shut the backup power on the ship off at night when work had ceased and only to turn it on when work began again at daybreak.

You warned Thrawn that it got dangerously cold at night in the fall in this part of the country, especially now after the flare.

He did not seemed too concerned at this, as his men would return to their bunks at night unless they were on perimeter patrol. He mentioned that there was a place for you, too, to sleep on the ship and refused when you offered to sleep in the warehouse instead.

“Absolutely not. You may not be one of my men, but you are under my protection now and I will not have you sleeping out here alone.”

You wanted to mention that there in fact would be troops outside and that you may feel slightly more comfortable in semi-familiar territory (as you had been used to sleeping in whatever abandoned buildings or caves you could find) but you decided not to say anything. You had a feeling if you said what you were thinking, he would insist that you sleep in the ship anyways.

The sun was soon setting and your stomach groaned. You only had a breakfast of some foraged berries this morning and although you were used to eating light, it had been at least 12 hours since your last meal. Thrawn turned around to face you, chuckling slightly. The man he had been speaking to looked like you, but was not from Earth. He was in a greenish gray uniform, one of the men who had been working on repairs inside of the ship. “This is Ensign Eli Vanto, my translator and friend.” Thrawn gave Eli your name and he bowed slightly.

When Eli excused himself, you looked up curiously at Thrawn. “Translator?”

He hummed in response. “Yes, in the part of space I am from, we speak a language far removed from the common tongue. Although I was vaguely familiar with Galatic Basic, Eli was from a planet near to mine and we both could speak a different, common language. He then was assigned as my translator.”

You assumed Galatic Basic was like English, because you had been communicating with Thrawn this whole time without Eli.

“Once the ship is repaired and we are back on mission, I will do my best to tell you all about the galaxy. Eli will be able to fill in whatever I cannot.”

You murmured a thanks. “I would like to learn about your planet,” you said softly.

Thrawn seemed surprised at your statement. “I’d be happy to share it with you.”

You both walked in silence the rest of the way to where some men where preparing dinner. There were at least 10 fires going with large cauldron-like pots balanced on top of them. A thick, delicious smelling soup was inside, although you already knew that you would be unfamiliar with the ingredients. Thrawn had ordered all perishables to be used for dinner.

You were impressed by the efficiency of the men. They were clearly used to feeding a ship full of people, but still. Multiple tables had been moved outside of the ship to hold trays, plates, bowls, silverware as well as foods you did not recognize. What you assumed was fruits, vegetables and other side dishes.

Thrawn must have noticed how wide your eyes had become because he gently put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You hadn’t realized how cold the end of the day was becoming until you felt the heat radiating from him. “Don’t worry if there is something you try and do not like. It took me a while to become familiar with my food preferences.”

You realized based on his last comment and this one that his part of space must really be separate from the Empire that he talked about. You had seen other men in his crew that did not look human-like, and more of what you had imagined aliens might look like, but there was nobody else so far of those you had seen that had looked like him.

At one point, he had gone through the same thing you were going through now.

Thrawn led the way, being the Captain allowed him the first meal. You being an honored guest meant you got to follow behind him. He passed you a tray with an empty bowl, plate and silverware on it. “If I may make a suggestion?”

You nodded in response. He hummed approvingly. “I’ll pick out your food based on my own personal preferences. If you see something you take interest in that I’ve missed, please add it to your tray.”

You nodded again and Thrawn’s lips curled upward. You followed close to him as he loaded both of your trays up with the same exact meal. You saw something that looked like raspberries that you added to you plate. At the end of the lineup, one of the workers filled both of your bowls with the chowder.

You followed Thrawn to a log not far away and were surprised when he sat on the ground, his back against the log. You both ate in silence next to each other, apart from the inquiries he had about the food’s taste. You were surprised at how much you liked everything on your tray, trying a bit of it all.

You became full rather quickly and knew that you should stop eating. This was entirely way more food than you had been used to in years.

“Everything alright?” he asked between bites.

“Very good, thank you. I’m just not.. not used to eating this much. I don’t want to get sick.”

Eli joined the both of you in that moment. He slid down on the other side of you against the log.

You listened as the men talked while eating about the state of the ships repairs so far. It sounded optimistic to you, but you knew that in reality you had absolutely no idea what most of it meant.

One of the soldiers started a fire in front of the three of you after the sun went down. Another man took your, Thrawn’s and Eli’s tray.

You looked across the encampment at your fellow Earthlings. They had been given a small tray filled with food to share amongst themselves, eating with hands bound in front of them.

Thrawn grabbed your attention when he noticed you observing them. “Do you have any suggestions on what we should do with them?”

You shook your head no. The laws of men no longer existed. “What would happen if they did this in the Empire?” you asked.

“They would be.. executed.”

You shivered, even with the heat of the fire and Thrawn’s body heat at your side. Though you weren’t touching each other, it was radiating off of him in a blaze against you.

“What would happen to them if your planet wasn’t in ruin?” came a voice from the other side of you.

Thrawn tsked at Eli’s carelessness even though he himself had admitted to you that your planet was dying just after meeting you. Thrawn noticed when you tensed up.

“They would probably be jailed,” you thought aloud.

The three of you looked over at your fellow humans. “We do have a brig, though I do not want them on the ship,” Thrawn admitted.

“We will watch them, for now. Depending on their behavior, we will let them go when the time comes for us to leave.”

You weren’t sure if he was saying that for you or Eli.

You watched the flames of the fire while Eli and Thrawn resumed talking about the plan for leaving. At one point you shivered and Thrawn immediately stretched his arm out behind you on the log. He was barely brushing against your back, but it was enough to warm you a little more.

Eventually Eli left to get some shut eye, leaving just you and Thrawn. You both sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying the night. If it weren’t for the bustling of his men around the various scattered fires or the patrols off in the distance, you might have fallen asleep out here next to him.

“Why don’t I show you to your room?”

You looked up at his eyes, shining and reflecting the fire. You nodded and he stood gracefully in one movement. He held his hand out towards you and easily picked you up on your feet when you gave him yours.

This time you walked just past what you remembered to be Thrawn’s office door. As the backup power was now off, he had to use one of those suction cup thingies to open your door. He waved you inside and you walked into the room in front of him.

The room was lovely and big. “Meant for any visiting dignitaries,” he explained, as if reading your mind. “I’m right next door if you need anything.”

Thrawn explained how to use the lantern and then left you to settle in. You unpacked what little you had in your bag — a few snacks (apples, nuts), a tattered, thin blanket, along with your rotating small pile of clothes. You had recently washed them all in a stream and folded them neatly to place into the dresser. You put your 9mm in between the stack.

Thrawn had noticed it earlier in the day and said that you wouldn’t need it while here, but if it made you feel safe, then you were welcome to keep it on your person.

You slipped out of your boots, putting the knife you carried inside under the fluffy pillow on the bed at the end of the room.

You pulled out your toothbrush and the plastic water bottle that you had filled yesterday and poured a little water on it. You swished the brush around your mouth for about two minutes and then put it on the sink top. You flicked your tongue over your teeth to make sure they felt smooth.

You refrained from looking at yourself in the mirror of the bathroom, instead opting to change into the clothing you usually slept in — a light pair of joggers and a baggy t-shirt.

You settled into the bed — it was surprisingly comfortable. Even with your blanket on top of you, however, the bedding provided little warmth. Now that you weren’t moving, you were starting to get very cold. You quickly slipped out of bed to put two pairs of socks on your bare feet.

It didn’t seem to help you much. Just as you couldn’t take it anymore and were about to put on every piece of clothing you owned, there was a soft knock at the door. Thrawn called out your name. “May I come in?”

You told him to come in and slipped out of bed to meet him at the door. Your teeth were nearly chattering but you closed your jaw tightly.

“I wanted to make sure you were getting settled.. are you alright?!?” Thrawn’s tone went from calmed to what you imagined was worried soon after he walked inside. You hadn’t seen this much emotion on his face since you had met this morning. He walked up to you and you resisted the urge to bury your face into the heat you knew his body would be giving off. “Your temperature has dropped drastically since I left.”

You couldn’t stop your teeth from chattering when you talked. “I.. its.. c.. c.. cold.. in h.. here.” An uncontrollable shiver ripped through your body.

Thrawn immediately enveloped you in his arms. Your tense body loosened in the warmth of his grip. He had changed out of his uniform and was wearing a tight black shirt and black pants similar to yours. You could see that his body was rather defined now that he wasn’t hidden under all that armor.

“This won’t do,” he said under his breath. You shivered again, but no longer because you were cold. You let out a small yelp when he picked you up bridal style. With one hand, he closed the door to your room and opened the door to his, the other supporting your weight.

After closing his door behind him, he carried you through his quarters. Past his desk in the door you had seen earlier, was a short hallway. Connected was a training room, bathroom and bedroom that you could see in your quick pass through.

He sat in his bed against the headboard, with you still in his arms. He positioned you in his lap and then brought his blankets up and around the both of you.

“Apologies, I did not realize. You warned me it would be cold for you tonight and I didn’t know the extent of it.”

You shook your head. “I mean it as a warning for everyone, but.. thank you.”

“I hope this doesn’t bother you, but it was my.. instinctual response.”

You didn’t want to admit how nice it felt to be touched by another person again after so long so instead you told him that it was okay with you.

He had one arm wrapped around you, supporting your back and reached onto his bedside table for a small looking tablet. When you peered at the screen, there was a bunch of letters arranged in words you did not recognize.

“I usually update my daily log at the end of the night. If it aggravates you, please let me know.”

You were surprised at the events that had transpired in the last few minutes. Not that he had been rude to you at all today, quite the opposite, but his attitude and demeanor were entirely different than they had been all day. Although you had seen a little bit more of his softer side when you had been alone with him, he had remained fairly impassive all day. He was commanding when talking to his men (well, except for Eli).

Now here he was, hoping not to disturb you after carrying you into his quarters. Keeping you warm, in his lap, in his bed. It was unexpected to say the least.

“I don’t mind,” you told him.

He began softly speaking in another language and as he did so, writing filled his tablet. You were mesmerized by it even if you had absolutely no idea what he was saying. He would pause every once in a while, or erase a few lines and change something.

His voice startled you out of your stupor. “Feel free to ask me anything, if you have questions.”

You hummed. “What are your people called?”

“Chiss. I’m from a planet called Rentor, in the Unknown Regions.”

You nodded at his pad. “And is this your native tongue?”

“Yes, its called Cheunh.”

You settled against his a little more. “It’s very pretty.”

He turned to face you a little more. “Really? Most other species I’ve encountered think it is harsh to the ears.”

You shook your head. “I don’t think so.”

He paused for a moment. “Are you warm enough?”

You nodded against his chest. After a few moments of silence, he continued his entry. When you heard your name, you looked up at him.

“Just recording everything that happened today,” he explained.

You listened to him for a bit longer, watched the letters appear on the screen, before the drowsiness pulled your eyes closed.

“Thrawn?”

“Mmm?”

You paused as you thought how to phrase your question. “Are you the only one of your kind in the Empire? Chiss, I mean.”

“..Yes.”

You understood it a little better now. You were both alone in your own ways and he recognized that piece of himself in you.

You were curious as to what he was saying every time you heard your name brought up, but were too tired to ask. You weren’t sure if that would be pushing it either, however you had a feeling that he was willing to answer most of your questions.

Your breathing was starting to slow down, you mouth slightly agape. You hadn’t opened your eyes since you initially shut them. You heard a light clank as Thrawn reached over and set his tablet back down on the table beside his bed. He shifted you off his lap and over to the side of the bed that you both weren’t currently occupying. You were hardly aware of what was happening, as sleep overcame you.

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danniburgh · 3 years

Text

Formalities and Introductions (a RushBit one shot)

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: It's mother's day and you get to meet Javier's mom.

Word count: +2k

Chapter warnings: mentions of death and dead people and nostalgia.

A/N: This is canon RushBit after the main story, it will make sense once we throw ourselves into it. I just wanted to commemorate Mother's Day with this.

ao3 // fic index // Masterlist

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

May 9th, 1996.

You turned on the driveway and pulled over; when you turned off the car and grabbed your bag from the co-pilot’s seat, you felt your smile creep up on your face again and you tried to hide it, unsuccessfully.

You got out of the car and immediately the big black ball of hair that was Pepe ran out of Chucho’s house and you crouched to greet the old pup.

“Hi, good boy,” you cooed to him as his large tail formed whiplashes around the space “where are our men?” you asked him, standing up. The dog huffed and turned around to walk back to Chucho’s house.

You followed him and walked in. The first thing that welcomed you was the stern voices of two men arguing in spanish. You walked behind Pepe into the kitchen and crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the arch frame of the entrance, neither of them seemed to notice you.

“No, viejo terco, no,” (stubborn old man) Javier chastised from the chair he was sitting on, his back to you, as Chucho chopped something on the counter, his back to Javier.

“Is that the way to talk to your dad?” you asked out loud, Javier seemed to wince and turned around to see you.

“It’s my dad,” he replied, Chucho chuckled, turning around to wink at you and to clean his hands with the kitchen towel hanging on his shoulder “I talk to him how I want to.”

“No, you don’t, shut up.” you teased, Javier smirked and took the can of beer that was resting on the table in front of him and took a gulp. Chucho sat next to him as you left your bag on the opposite chair.

“How’d it go?” Javier asked, watching you walk to the fridge and take out the water jug and make your quick way to the dish rack for a glass.

“I hate the DMV,” you mumbled, pouring the water on the glass and placing it in front of Javier, along with a kiss on his temple, “I got yelled by a lady trying to cut in line,” you chuckled and Chucho followed, you left the jug on the table and took the beer can from Javier’s hand, “but I got it.”

“Hey that’s mine,” Javier frowned as you walked to the sink and left the can there, “show it to me.”

“Was, drink your water,” you said, Chucho chuckled again and shook his head when Javier let out a huff, he knew better than to say something at that point, he knew how much you cared about Javier, “I even got surprised, I don’t look half bad in the photo.” you raised your eyebrows as you walked to the chair, took your bag and rummaged around it, finding the small plastic rectangle and handing it to Javier when you sat down.

“Half bad? you look gorgeous.” Javier mumbled, Chucho leaned to the side and Javier handed it to him.

“You do, Florecita.” Chucho said, smiling at you.

“Well thank you,” you smiled back at him, “with that driver’s license I’m officially a citizen of Texas.” you rolled your eyes and Javier frowned in feigned hurt.

“What’s wrong with Texas?” he said as you took the license from Chucho’s hand.

“I’m not saying there’s something wrong with it.” you shrugged, taking the water glass you had put in front of him and taking a sip of the cold water.

“You’re suggesting it.” he narrowed his eyes with that shit-eating grin of his.

“I’m not! what do you care? you hate Texas.” you rolled your eyes again and Javier faked a gasp.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just not fond of it.” he let out, taking out a laugh out of you. Chucho muttered something along the lines of chamacos locos (crazy kids) and stood up to resume his chopping.

“And yet you’re making me live here,” you chuckled out and Javier just shrugged, “what are you cooking, suegro?” you asked, and Javier took the glass from your hand to drink out of it.

“Meatloaf,” Chucho replied “Javi, remember to pick up the flowers in the morning.” he said without turning.

“Yeah.”

“What flowers?” you asked Javier.

“Tomorrow’s mother’s day.” he let out, moving on the chair to face you better.

“I thought it was this sunday,” you narrowed your eyes until your brain remembered that the holiday was celebrated on the tenth in México, “oh shit.”

“Oh shit indeed,” Javier teased, knowing you just had to remember it, his hand snaked on the table to take yours “we’re gonna go see mom,” he muttered “wanna come?”

Javier felt a bit nervous asking you that; to go with him and his dad to the cemetery and look at a tombstone he hadn’t seen for a long time.

He didn’t talk about his mom often, because it all reminded him of the last time he saw her and the image of his smiling mother tortured him more than do him any good; he spent a long time of his adult years wondering if the choices he was making would disappoint the woman that had birthed him and wrapped him in so much love since the first minute he was on earth; he spent most of his life thinking what would his mother say if she found out what he was doing or why. And he still needed to work on restoring the memory of his mother in his mind, because she would smack him on the nape if she knew he avoided talking about her at all.

He saw your eyes, wrapped in that warm kindness that had settled in them since you had moved in with him and decided to stay by his side; he knew you wouldn’t say no, but he still had to ask.

“Sure, you don’t have to ask me.” you said, Javier nodded and gave you a tight lip smile and turned to his dad.

“You need help, pop?”

“No.”

Javier padded inside the room when you got out of the ensuite, towel drying your hair, he walked around the bed, sat on the edge of the edge of his side, his back to you, and picked up the book you two were reading before falling asleep.

“You ok?” you asked him, he hummed in affirmation while looking around the nightstand, “you sure?” you asked him again, he turned his face to look at you and saw you with your eyes narrowed as you threw the towel in the hamper.

“I’m fine.” he said, following you as you walked to the dresser and picked up his glasses, you shook your head slowly and sat next to him, handing the glasses to him.

“Liar, liar.”

He scoffed when you stood up and walked around to your side; he stood up as well, and you began that half put together routine you had before bed; pulling down the covers, throwing some pillows on the bed’s end bench and climbing on the bed to snuggle together right in the middle of the mattress.

“Do I have to ask you again?” you muttered, resting your head on his shoulder as he picked up the book. He sighed and shuffled to face you.

“I haven’t been to her grave since I left.” he mumbled.

“I don’t think she judges you for it.” you let out, he chuckled humorlessly.

“You didn’t know her,” he said, “she does.”

“I don’t know her because you won’t talk to me about her,” you whispered and Javier sighed again, you turned your head to face him, he was already looking at you. “I understand it’s hard, but I’d like to know about her.”

Javier looked at you without saying a thing for a few seconds. His hand reached to your cheek and he nodded a few times.

“Ask away.” he whispered, you gave him a smile that he could only classify as the smile of a curious child and it made his chest turn around with love.

May 10th, 1996.

The bouquet was heavy, but you insisted on carrying it yourself, the smell of the pink carnations invaded your nostrils as Javier’s hand gripped yours in that entangled mess that was your fingers when you held hands.

“Por acá.” Chucho said, he was guiding you both through the narrow dirt paths of the Laredo’s Cemetery, Javier was helping you not step on any graves out of respect, he had said.

“I’m nervous,” you mumbled, Javier snorted “I’m about to meet your mom, I’m nervous.”

Javier let out a nostalgic chuckle.

“You met her last night.” he reminded, you smiled, remembering him abandoning the book when you started asking what you wanted to know about his mom; where was she born, when, where she grew up, how did she like to be called, her favorite kind of music, how she used to call him when he was a kid; all the things you didn’t know.

The ones you did, Javier was not the one to tell them to you, it was Chucho; your non-father in law loved when you were in a curious mood because you nagged him until you got responses, and from him you had learned her name, how did they meet, when they got married and how did she die.

But you were eager to learn Javier’s perspective about his mom, because Chucho spoke about her with all the love and devotion of a husband, a man that knew her soul and her body; but Javier knew her kindness and her protective side.

And you loved every bit of her he handed you, it made her more real and it was as if you knew her too. Or at least part of her.

“So carnations were her favorites?” you asked him in a low voice, Chucho turning right on another path.

“Yeah, those and jacarandas,” he replied with a smile, you turned to see him and smiled at him “but those don’t grow here.”

“Isn’t Guadalajara filled with those trees?” you asked, almost in a rethory, remembering the brief time you spent in that city and seeing the streets filled with purple little flowers, Javier nodded.

“I saw some of those in Colombia too, most of them in Medellín,” he mumbled, gripping your hand tighter absentmindedly, it was still hard for both of you to talk about Colombia, but it was harder for him “reminded me of her.”

Chucho stopped in front of a white tombstone, on each side there were two stone vases with some half-dead flowers on them and he took his hat off, you looked at Javier and he breathed in heavily, you handed him the bouquet and he gave you half a smile.

“Hola, mi amor.” Chucho let out, “happy mother’s day” his usual stern tone faded and you felt a tight knot in the middle of your chest and bit your lip.

“Here, pop,” Javier undid the bouquet and gave him half the carnations, “hola, mami,” he whispered to it and you just saw them moving silently around the grave, you stood there, in front of the gravestone.

Margarita García de Peña. Beloved wife and mother. 1926 - 1967

The two men in front of you took out the dead flowers and put the carnations in the vases, Chucho stood there, a hand on the cold stone and started whispering to it.

Javier walked to you and you opened your arm for him to settle around.

“She was so young.” you said, he nodded.

“She had me young.” he mumbled, you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Gracias.” you whispered. He looked at you with half a frown and saw you looking at the grave.

Javier huffed and shook his head with a soft smile adorning his face; he tugged you to him and wrapped you inside his arms, you put your arms around his waist and Javier kissed your temple.

“She would’ve loved you.” he murmured on your skin.

“She loved you.” you said, making him hug you tighter.

Javi's babies: @pulplorrd

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#javier peña #Javier Pena #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #narcos #narcos fanfic #narcos netflix #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal #pedro pascal characters #rushingly bittersweet tag

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bedbellyandbeyond · 3 years

Photo

The Straw

(Story Post)

After a long day of work, the last thing Sydryn wanted to see was their refrigerator items strewn across the kitchen counters and floor while their sibling took a nap at the kitchen table. There were also several grocery bags among the catastrophe, heaped and overflowing with countless fluffy pink pastries. “What in the world is going on here?” Sydryn demanded, loud and stern enough to startle Seranan awake. “Sissy! What, oh…” Seranan sat up and looked around. “Oh, yes. I was just doing some reorganising… But then I got tired and took a nap, I guess.” “Reorganising my refrigerator? Full of my food?” Sydryn snarled. “Why in the world would you do this? Not to mention, you left the refrigerator door wide open!” “D'uh. How else would I access it during lengthy grocery reorganisation?” Seranan asked, propping up their head. “And I did it to fit in my groceries.” Sydryn picked up one of the shopping bags and held it open. “This is entirely roll cakes!” “Yes. Disgusting, I know. You can blame your little angel for introducing me. Now I have a wicked craving all the time,” Seranan groaned. “Don't blame Köbi for this! When did you even go out and get nine bags of these? You're not to leave the house!” Seranan rolled their eyes and tapped their phone on the table. “They have grocery delivery apps now. Join us in the 21st century, Sissy.” Sydryn fumed. “You of all dragons did not just tell me to modernise...” “Just because I'm a history hoarder does not mean I don't know how to use the internet,” Seranan huffed. Sydryn threw the grocery bag down and pointed to the hall. “Get out of my kitchen immediately!” Seranan rolled their eyes and got up, cradling their underbelly like it was such a struggle. “I bought them for you too, you know. The angel said they’re your favourite.” “Stop talking to Köbi!” Sydryn snarled.

“You should be happy we get along at all...” Seranan shrugged. “All your little pets typically piss me off.” “Köbi is not my pet, he is my employee,” Sydryn growled. “That kind of talk is exactly why I do not want you talking to him.” “Where is the little ‘employee’, anyway?” Seranan huffed. “He should be here to help clean up this mess...” “First of all, he is my assistant, not your maid. Second of all, I was going to ask you the same thing. I had to work late, so he should've been home over an hour ago.” Seranan shrugged. “I haven't seen him.” Sydryn sighed and stepped out into the hall. “Köbi?” they called up the stairs. Köbi poked his head out of the powder room just down the hall. “Yes?” “Ah. You are home. Seranan said they hadn't seen you.” “Huh?” Köbi walked over and looked into the kitchen. “You don't remember me coming in?” Seranan waved a hand. “How am I supposed to pay attention to what you’re doing all the time?” “But you asked for me the minute I got home. We had a whole conversation about where Syd buys their roll cakes,” Köbi reminded. “I thought that was yesterday.” “It was definitely today, because they would've been closed yesterday.” Seranan waved a hand. “Unimportant. Must have slipped my mind. Anyway, your employer's home. Shouldn't you have dinner prepared by now?” “You specifically asked me not to come into the kitchen since you would be occupying it during your delivery,” Köbi reminded. “Several times, I checked back to see if I could get dinner started, but you hissed me away." Seranan frowned and shrugged. Sydryn groaned and grabbed Seranan by the braid. “Clean up this mess immediately, or I will burn all of these desserts and you won't have any dinner tonight!” Seranan whined. “My tail! Sissy, that's so mean! You wouldn't starve a pregnant dragon, would you?” “Starve?” Sydryn motioned the plastic wrappers strewn across the kitchen table. “You've eaten twenty of these already!” “They hold absolutely no nutritional value, though...” “Then stop eating them!” “It's a craving! I can't help it!” Köbi waded through the sea of plastic grocery bags to get to the fridge. “I was going to make a roast, but I don’t really think there’s enough time, so how about…fettuccine?” “Absolutely not. I will vomit if I eat another beet coloured pink pasta noodle,” Seranan declared. Sydryn yanked their sibling’s hair again. “You’ll eat what you’re served.” They looked to Köbi, though. “I need meat.” “Okay… Uh, how about smoked meat sandwiches?” Köbi suggested. “Perfect. Thank you.” Seranan rolled their eyes. “Everything’s always smoked meat, pink pasta, rose tea, salmon, prawns, grapefruit…” With another swift yank, Sydryn spun their sibling around grabbed their wrist tightly. “Are you mocking my hoard?” Seranan snarled, scaling up under Sydryn’s grip. “…You’re hurting me, Sissy.” “Syd, let’s calm down…” Köbi said, reaching out to take the dragon’s arm. Sydryn flinched away. “Don’t! My sibling, whom I so graciously have been putting up and feeding while they escape prosecution for dracocide, seems to think they can have an opinion on how I run my house.” Seranan glared at Sydryn. “Colours are for children. Your hoard is stupid.” Sydryn’s eyes widened, a wild look of pure and concentrated wrath set ablaze inside them. “Syd! No!” A split second later, Köbi was between them, his hands up, his stance wide. Seranan was in shock, having been pushed back down into the kitchen chair, their sibling’s grip relinquished. Sydryn’s crazed look was gone, instead replaced with surprise and distress as they stared at the angel. Light dripped from his cheek as Köbi reached out and placed a hand on Sydryn’s shoulder. “Sleep.” “Köbi—” Before Sydryn could finish, they passed out, falling into the angel’s arms. Köbi grunted under the weight then sighed as they picked up the pregnant dragon bridal style. “You’re hurt,” Seranan finally emitted, slowly standing up. “They struck you.” “I’m fine. Just a little scratch.” Köbi wiped his cheek on his shoulder and the injury completely disappeared. “Better me than you.” “I would’ve been fine,” Seranan stated, straightening up. “Dragons can scar other dragons,” Köbi reminded. “And it’s Syd I’m concerned about. They’re strung out and emotional right now. If they really hurt you, I don’t think they could forgive themself.” Seranan frowned. “So, what are you going to do? They must be heavy…” “I’m going to put them to bed for now,” Köbi said, shaking his head. “But don’t worry about what I’m doing… If I were you, I’d consider cleaning things up around here a bit. Syd won’t stay asleep long. And I think after a long day, waking up to a meal made by family would just make my day. Wouldn’t you agree?” Seranan scrunched their nose. “…You can’t tell me what to do.” “I can’t. I can only make suggestions.” Köbi carried the slumbering dragon out to the hall. “I’ll come back in a minute to help.” The red dragon barely dignified that with a huff. Köbi just continued on, taking Syd up to their bedroom. As soon as they were tucked in, Sydryn began to wake up. “...Köbi.” They looked at the angel standing beside their bed. “Did I... Did I hurt you?” “No.” Köbi shook their head. “Must've been a bad dream.” “Angels shouldn't lie...” Sydryn sighed, rubbing their eyes. “I'm so sorry...” “No, I'm sorry for sleeping you without permission,” Köbi said. “I’m not supposed to touch you...” “You did what you had to,” Syd insisted. “It could have been bad... Is Seranan alright?” Köbi nodded. “Yeah. They're perfectly fine. Don't worry about them. Tell me about your day. What's got you so riled up?” Sydryn sighed and sat up. “Everything. I have patients who shouldn't be getting pregnant getting pregnant, almost getting pregnant, and I'm pregnant, and I also have to keep an eye on Gardi, even though he wants more responsibilities, and Ix and I are supposed to be collaborating on the celestial pregnancy research, but beyond that, they hardly say a word to me and I wonder if somehow I've upset them in some way... I don't know. I genuinely enjoy working with them, but not when they won't even look me in the eyes.” “Oh. Oh, um...” Köbi rubbed his neck. “Well, if you're worried about Ix, I think you should just talk to them about it. With Reid, from what I can tell, he's pretty much fully recovered. If you trusted him to manage your practice while you were away in the Fall, I think you can trust him now. And as for all the patients, maybe giving Reid more responsibilities would be a good thing. You really need a break. You're putting a lot of stress on yourself.” Sydryn shook their head. “I can't take a break. There's too much going on and even if I let Gardi have more responsibilities, he can't take all of them on.” Köbi tilted his head. “Well, right now, you really should just rest. When dinner's ready, I'll bring it up.” “No, I should probably come down and apologise to Seranan,” Sydryn decided. Köbi shook his head. “I don't think you're ready for that. Wait for them to come to you.” Syd sighed, laying their head down. “...Alright. Thank you, Köbi.” “Don't mention it.” Köbi made his way back down the kitchen where Seranan was now trying to stuff away their groceries into any empty cupboard space they could find. Kobi noticed some bread and meat had been pulled out and placed on the kitchen table as well. “Looks like you got started,” Köbi said delighted. “I’ll get the rest out, and—” “I don’t need your help, I am perfectly capable of constructing a few sandwiches…” Seranan growled. “Go about your business.” “Okay… I just wanted to add, um…” Köbi rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry I prioritised Syd in the situation when they lashed out. After what you’ve been through before, I can understand if this situation was…difficult for you.” Seranan’s eyes narrowed as they turned their gaze onto the angel in disgust. “If you’re trying to suggest that any of my experiences have left me weak with ‘emotional trauma’ or some kind of ‘victim complex’, you are sorely mistaken.” “Alright. Well, just so you know, you can always talk to me,” Köbi stated. “Actually, I’ve been explicitly told not to talk to you, and from this point on, I plan to follow along.” “Okay.” Köbi shrugged. “Well, I like pickles with my smoked meat sandwiches.” “I fail to see the one who asked!” Köbi chuckled before backing out. “Talk to you later, then.” “You will not!”

#lore #Sydryn #Seranan #Köbi #nbpreg #ovipreg

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bangtangalicious · 3 years

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the glow up (5) | pjm, jjk

pairing: jimin x reader x jungkook

summary: after going off to college, you & your best friend committed to working out. a year later, the results show, and you cant wait for your hot hometown friends to see you. now all you wanna do is wild out and have lots of sex, and enjoy it without feeling insecure

genre: angst, smut, childhoodfriends!au weightloss!au (is that a thing) friends-to-lovers!au

word count: 3k

warnings: college boys fighting, jimin’s abs, everyone’s abs, misogyny, mentions of sexual harassment, light smut: threesome (mxmxf), tittie fuck, cock warming, a single spank, gaslighting, toxic behavior, slut shaming

part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 masterlist

It was another scorching day. Your stomach turned at the prospect of the day ahead of you. Today was Hobi’s annual summer party. Every summer he would have a big party with literally everyone from your old high school.

Hobi’s party had a notorious reputation of being the scene where all the summer flings were established. You and Jimin would always go together and leave together, never getting too involved. It was boys like Taehyung and Jungkook who really got wild at this.

You hadn’t even thought about how different this party would be for you now, especially after Jimin’s. Normally you and him would catch up with old friends, drink a little bit, but mostly just enjoy the music and have fun together.

Not only would you not be able to hang out with Jimin, but you also would not be able to avoid the heart of party. Hook-up central. The pool.

You shuddered thinking about the last time you were in a pool, where Jungkook had just groped you so openly and you just let him. You liked it.

You tried to convince yourself that Jungkook’s actions lately didn’t effect you, but for some reason the thought would leave you with a sour taste in your mouth. You and Jungkook had always been cordial, he was part of your friend group, but you two were never specifically that close. You were comfortable with him, but Taehyung was definitely more approachable even back then.

You had texted Taehyung about going to the party together, but he had already made plans to go with Jungkook, and that was the last person you wanted to see.

You really only had one option left.

Next thing you know, you’re back at Jimin’s doorstep, remembering with a wave of guilt how you left him to go fool around with Taehyung just around a week ago. You rang the doorbell.

“Who is it?” You heard from inside.

“It’s me”

Nothing.

“Jimin?”

The door cracked open slightly. Jimin was shirtless, his skin now significantly tanned from when you last saw him, and also his muscles surprisingly more defined. He had clearly been working out a lot since you last saw him.

“Oh hey” His eyes softened when the met yours but you could see the sadness in them. Your heart clenched. You pushed past the door and threw yourself into his arms, giving him the tightest hug you could conjure. “Are you okay?” His familiar scent overwhelmed you, and you wanted to just melt into him.

You nodded, cheek pressed against his shoulder, “God I missed you so much. Jimin stroked your back affectionately before pressing his lips to the top of your head. You looked up at him. “I am so sorry Jimin”

Jimin forced a slight smile, “It’s…fine. What’s going on, is everything okay?”

Not leaving his arms for a second you spilled. You told him everything that transpired. Every thought you had, Every regret. You told him about what really happened at his party, what happened after. You told him about jungkook, taehyung, everything. You could no longer bare to keep anything from your best friend.

You hadn’t noticed, but Jimin was now clenching your waist tightly, his eyes raging.

“Jungkook did what” After a few moments of silence to take in everything you said, Jimin was furious.

You took his hands into yours and sat him down on his bed. “Look it doesn’t matter.” Lies. “I just, I’m so sorry about all of this. I’m such an idiot—“

Jimin pulled away from you, shaking his head. “No way. You have no reason to be sorry. This is NOT your fault. I’m going to fucking kill Jungkook” He tilted his head in anger.

“Jimin, it’s okay just—“

“It’s OKAY?” Jimin yelled, “You’re OKAY with the fact that Jungkook just fucking stuck his fingers in you? And…that fucking Taehyung too…he didn’t do anything to stop him? What the fuck?”

“It’s really not like that Jimin” Jimin ignored you and cracked his knuckles.

“I didn’t” Your voice went small, “I didn’t try and stop him. It’s my fault” Jimin stared at you.

“You know, you could be a lot of things, but I would have never thought you were stupid.” He inhaled sharply before easing his voice back to an appropriate volume, “Are you okay? Like seriously.”

“I think so.”

“Shit y/n. SHIT” Jimin tossed a pillow across the room in frustration before buying his head in his lap.

“Jimin…” You ran your hand through his hair as he tried to calm down.

“I’m the one that should be sorry. God I was such as ass to you. After we had sex too, ugh I regret it so much. The things I said I mean…not the sex. You’re my best friend, it’s my job to protect you and be there for you, and make sure you don’t get hurt. I made our relationship complicated and I’m sorry.” Jim-in raised his face, giving up an intense look, “But so help me y/n, if Jeon Jungkook or Kim Taehyung have the audacity to show their face to me tonight, I will FUCKING end them”

Jimin decided it was best for you two to stick together like usual during the party. You decided to forgo the swimwear completely for the evening, opting instead for a a pair of denim shorts and a tube top. Jimin would have preferred you cover up more, but he didn’t say anything. You put a glittery body spray that added a nice shimmer to your skin in the sunlight.

Hobi’s house was gigantic. Even after all these years, it always excited you to come see all the new things they may have added. Flat screen TVs in the kitchen, a glow in the dark pool table, a whole dance floor, each year brough surprises. Hobi’s pool was on the roof of the house, infinity style. You could already hear the music blasting. It was comforting that there were already a lot of people there, so your entrance could go unnoticed. You saw Taehyung’s white convertible parked from the corner of your eye, letting you know he was already there. Jimin parked the car. You both sat for a while, simply listening the loud bass vibrate your surroundings. The music gave you a sense of confidence. You reached for Jimin’s hand but he pulled it away.

“Let’s just be normal tonight” He tried to smile. You wanted to roll your eyes. He was so hot and cold. You got out of the car. You could see people standing around smoking, old friends hugging and taking selfies. Red plastic cups everywhere. Shirtless guys, bikini-clad girls, familiar faces. It felt like an out of body experience. You followed Jimin, who chose to wear a loose white muscle tee that showed off his toned arms.

“Oh my GOD! Y/n!” You heard some familiar voices of girls from your high school. You smiled and waved, “GIRL YOU LOOK SO GOOD YESSS” You giggled. More girls crowded you, fawning you with compliments, but the attention was short living, as soon they noticed Jimin who was by your side.

Now this glow up made them drool.

“Park Jimin!” “Have you been working out?” “Holy shit, wanna come over later?” “Jiminieeee I missed you oh my gosh”

Good. Take him away sea of ladies. You thought to yourself. Jimin turned to look back at you in worry as he got dragged away. You winked and gave him a supportive thumbs up. Once Jimin was out of sight, you decided to look for Taehyung.

Where to look first? The pool. You climbed the stairs until you finally got to Hobi’s rooftop, walking out into the intense sun. The pool was packed, music louder here than before. People seemed to be having a great time. There was volleyball, chicken, all sorts of games happening. People were jumping, splashing, it was truly a sight to behold. You saw Junkook right away, with a girl on his shoulders wrestling playfully with Hobi in the water. You stared at him, jaw clenching at how carefree he looked.

“Princess” You turned to see Taehyung, dressed still in partially unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. In his hand was a cup of what you assumed was beer. “Good to see you” He places a firm kiss onto your lips, lingering a bit. You flinched at the sudden action.

“Taehyung what the fuck” You whispered, looking around to make sure no one had seen you. Taehyung chuckled, wrapping his hand around your waist. His eyes followed where you had been looking earlier.

“Wanna dance with me?” You had no response. Especially because while the two of you were strictly hooking up, Taehyung did seem to really like you, but you suddenly felt overwhelmed. So many people would see you two together. Someone would tell Jimin. And then Jimin would start a fight. Taehyung noticed your hesitation.

“I…I’ll be right back” You wiggled out of Taehyungs grasp and rapidly made your way through the crowd before he could stop you. You barely glanced back long enough to see a confused and slightly hurt look on Taehyung’s face.

It wasn’t long before you heard a whistle.

“Y/n! Babe! Get that sexy ass in the pool” Jungkook cat called. Hobi playfully splashed him, rolling his eyes. The girl on his shoulders just giggled. “Bet I could take you both, if you know what I mean” He winked. You glared at him.

“Excuse me” You felt yourself getting dizzy as Jimin’s voice came booming across the pool. You had no idea when he got up here. He had a few girls surrounding him, but his eyes were glued onto you and Jungkook, who was still in the pool a few feet away from you. He made his way over to you, pulling you back behind him, gritting his teeth. “Get out of the pool Jeon” He spat.

“Nah I’m good Jimin. But hey, I’d be down to share. You me and y/n. Sounds fun” You could hear Hobi mention to the girl that she should probably leave.

“I can’t believe I’ve let you live this long after what you did” Jimin growled, curling his hands into a fist.

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair and smirked, “The fuck did I do? She’s the one screwing Taehyung left right and center. Get mad at her. Bros before Hoes” You placed your hands on Jimin’s arm to keep him from jumping into the pool and pounding Jungkook’s face.

“Jungkook, that’s enough” Hobi said, trying to keep a playful demeanor, “Come on guys, let’s not kill the vibe. Take it inside”

“Any guy here could make a move on her and she’d sleep with them. Because she can. She’s a slut now.” Jungkook raised himself out of the pool, the water dripping down his intense muscles. His tattoos gleamed in the sunlight.

“Inside. Now.” Hobi’s voice became more stern. Jungkook put his hands up in defense. You followed Jimin’s lead and went down into the house, Jungkook trailing closely behind. The three of you reached Hobi’s bedroom.

“Tell me one good reason that I shouldn’t smash your face” Jimin sneered. Jungkook, to your dismay, could not stop smiling.

“I dare you to try”

“Guys!” You finally intervened. “Please, let’s just talk it out” You plopped down on Hobi’s bed. “I wanna get back to the party so just make it quick”

Jungkook suddenly pulled down his shorts. You quickly covered your eyes and Jimin yelled out “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Let’s just have sex.” He whined “It would be so good, think about it. It’s like revenge sex, hate sex, jealous sex all in one.”

You could hear him stroke himself slightly, and you opened your eyes to watch. Jungkook had a body of a God. Your heart raced, unsure if this was a dream.

“You’re insane. I am not having sex with you. And y/n is definitely not.” Jimin approached Jungkook with the intention of pushing him away, but Jungkook was stronger, and simply held Jimin in place, kissing him on the lips. Your eyes widened at the scene. Never would you have thought you would see two of the hottest guys you knew kissing right in front of your eyes.

Jimin pushed Jungkook back, “Dude what the fuck?”

Jungkook licked his lips, “Come on Jimin, don’t be a prude, live a little. It’s an experience”

“My problem isn’t fucking you, it’s you fucking Y/N”

Jungkook turned to you. “Do you want to do this? Do you wanna try it out?”

You bit your lip. You did fantasize about having one someday, just not necessarily with these people. However, Jungkook looked stunning and Jimin made your heart race. It could be amazing.

“I guess I’d be down to experiment…but I don’t know if I’ll like it” You commented, hugging your knees to your chest. Jungkook knelt down and kissed the tops of your knees.

“Oh baby girl, there’s no stopping me once I get my hands on you”

You didn’t have time to process what he said before he was pulling down your shorts and pulling off your top. Your naked breasts bounced in front of his eyes.

“Oh fuck yes” He muttered. He motioned for Jimin to join him on the ground. Next thing you knew, both boys were on their knees before you, each one with their mouth latched to one of your breasts. It was the most erotic sensation you had ever felt. It was overwhelming, and you couldn’t help the loud moans that slid past your lips.

“Oh my…holy…shit that feels” Your sentences were unable to form, it was as if the electric pulses of the way their tongues circled and lapped at your sensitive nipples shut down the rest of your brain. Waves of heat seared through your veins and your hips bucked up unconsciously. Jungkook, who was already naked, helped you lay back on the bed.

“Now, Jimin. Since you two actually like each other or whatever, I’ll let you pick.” He motioned towards your body that was squirming around and begging for their attention. “Pussy or tits”

Jimin frowned at Jungkook’s coarse language, but scanned your body nevertheless, considering his options.

“You are not getting inside her.” He mumbled. Jungkook shrugged.

“Either works” He climbed over your face so that his knees were on either side of you. His large hands pushed your breasts together as he let his long, thick cock slap against your glittering skin. The view wasn’t ideal, but once you felt Jimin’s soft fingers caressing your thighs, you relaxed immediately.

“Condom?” Jungkook asked. Jimin smirked slightly and shook his head. “Oh wow, Park Jimin’s gonna take his bitch raw. Impressive”

“I’m protected you idiot” You mumbled, shutting your eyes so you could focus on the feeling of Jungkook slowly sliding his cock in between your heaving breasts. The invasion accelerated your heartrate. The way his tip just rubbed against the valley of your chest almost feverishly as he picked up his face. You were so turned on you couldn’t believe it.

Jungkook let out soft grunts as he thrusted into you. Meanwhile you could hear Jimin undress and start stroking himself, the sound of skin on skin driving you wild. Your thighs trembled in anticipation.

Finally Jimin was hard and ready for you. He watched carefully as Jungkook fucked your tits mercilessly, his hands clenching your breasts so harshly you were afraid they might bruise. You felt Jimin tease your exposed folds with the tip of his cock. You let out a whimper when he backed up a little to continue stroking himself.

“Jimin” You whined helplessly, “Jimin please. I wanna feel you please”

“I…” Jimin still wasn’t sure that he wanted to do this. Seeing you, with Jungkook almost sitting on your face and using you like a sex doll, it made him feel queasy.

“Jimin baby please I need you” Your voice almost sounded to him like a cry for help. His eyes narrowed at Jungkook who was too fucked out to notice.

Suddenly you felt something wet sprawl all over your stomach. Jungkook came. Everywhere.

“Fuck that was so good” He groaned, releasing his hold on your aching breasts only long enough to slap them harshly before squeezing them again one last time. He carefully got off of you and stood up. You opened your eyes to see Jimin still standing where he was, only this time with his cock out in his hand. Jungkook began to dress himself.

“You missed out Jimin. Oh well” He winked, and as if nothing happened, he was gone.

You and Jimin were silent.

“I…” Jimin stuttered, slightly embarrassed that he froze up and didn’t join in, “I just…couldn’t. The way he was just, using you, I felt…dirty”

You sighed. “Come here” He obeyed, cuddling up behind you. He wasn’t as hard as he could be, so you figured you might as well assist him with that.

You reached down and began stroking his cock. He nestled his face into your neck.

“I’m so sorry y/n” He whispered before letting out a pleasurable whine “I’m so sorry”

He kept apologizing as you jacked him off, eventually spitting in your hands to increase speed at which you pumped him up and down along his length. Something about his pitiful whining was turning you on a lot. You wrapped your whole hand around his cock and guided it in between your ass. Jimin moaned loudly.

“Oh my godddd” He exhaled as you wiggled your ass back and he entered you from behind. “Can we just stay like this for a bit baby? Can you keep my cock warm while I cuddle you hm?”

You nodded, and he softly kissed your neck.

“You’re mine. I’m never sharing you again”

<-----previous next------>

A/N: i know the smut was very much not satisfying in this, i promise the next part is nice n dirty. hehe.

taglist: (lmk if you wanna be added!!) @honeyspillings @hollowtree10

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loverdrew · 4 years

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Just A Little Longer | s.r

(not my gif)

Synopsis: A day out on the field doesn’t go as planned, and Y/N is thrown into am ambulance to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital before anyone can help.

A Grey’s Anatomy x Criminal Minds crossover.

Warnings: none (?)

There was a ringing in the air louder than the one you hear everyday. I felt my breathing hinder. My eyes can only open so wide, enough to see the light, but once by my side, could see only a dark substance quickly oozing out of my body. As I came to, I could tell it was getting harder and harder to breathe, a sharp pain with every inhale and exhale. Upon instinct, I checked my fingers for mobility, feeling that they could move slightly. At least this means I am not paralyzed in my upper body. There was no other noise for a few more minutes, just a slight rustling of trees and the dirt road beneath me. I don’t even remember the initial shot being taken, whether it was from me or him. All I remember is instantly falling to the floor once I arrived on the scene. I just laid in my own blood, the realization that no one may be coming for me.

“Y/N! Y/N! Wake up!” I could faintly hear from what felt like a mile away. My brain perked at the voice, definitively Morgan, but my body would not react. I tried with every might to move my limbs once again but alas, nothing. It was if my brain was screaming and sending pulses to my muscles but it just refused to move. I started to feel hands all over me, lifting me and placing me on what I could imagine was a gurney, as it moved. My sense of hearing coming in full force, beginning to hear people talking and shuffling. Hotch and Morgan were asking where I was being transported to and Emily and JJ consoling someone else who I could hear was practically sobbing.

“They’re going to take care of her, c’mon let’s just go follow them now!” Emily yelled to everyone. But that distressed someone fought back.

“No! She’s not even moving! They’re intubating her! Emily she’s dying!”

Spencer....?

“Reid, you want to help her? Get out of here and go to the hospital.” Hotch firmly said, I could even tell he probably put his hands on Reid, as the sound of prominent footsteps were halted. And the next thing I heard was doors closing, and the sirens blaring.

Once we had arrived at the hospital, I heard a woman’s voice that sounded very strong, like she was in charge.

“What do we got?” She asked.

“GW to the left ribcage, she’s lost a lot of blood, almost 2 pints. We’ve been intubating her since we got to the scene but Bailey, it doesn’t look too good. Possible head contusion when she hit the floor as well.” The EMT stated.

“Alright I’ll page Shepard and Hunt immediately. Out of the way everybody! FBI agent coming through!” And my gurney started moving even faster, winding down a short hallway into a room where I could hear many doctors coming to look at my wounds. I felt absolutely helpless, not being able to communicate what hurts for me. What if they miss something? What if they can’t help me in time? The EMT said I lost a lot of blood, what if it’s too much to come back from?

“Hang 2 units of O neg now!” A man with a deep voice yelled out. I could feel big, callus hands turning me on my back, and the next thing I knew a needle was being shoved in my arm and a warm sensation filling my arm.

“Owen she needs to go up to CT now or she’s not going to make it.” A woman with a softer voice spoke next to the man.

“Amelia she needs this wound patched first or she’ll bleed out and then she won’t even have a chance in CT.” He raised his voice at her, kind of like how Hotch can be sometimes.

“Let me see, I can patch quickly if everyone gives me space. Looks like the bullet left through the back as well.” This time it was another man with a softer voice than the first, and instantly felt his delicate hands holding onto my ribs, feeling a metal substance touching my skin. By my analysis, he’s most likely a plastics surgeon. Only a man in plastics has such delicate touch.

“Well hurry Jackson she’s got about 10 minutes before that brain contusion completely debilitates her and she’ll be in a coma.”

“Yea I got it.” He said nonchalant.

The sounds of beeping and shuffling were quickly interrupted by deep screams, of which belonged to the lanky pretty boy. My heart rate instantly got faster the second his voice entered the room.

“Sir, sir who are you?” The plastics guy asked urgently.

“I-I’m her, her uh- I’m just a friend, please let me be next to her.” He pleaded, rasp in his voice. I can tell he had been crying the whole ride over.

“Okay, sir you’re gonna have to wait with everybody else, she’s in a lot of distress and she’s lost a lot of blood. We’re doing everything we can for her.” Almost on cue, my heart monitor started spazzing. The loud beeping indicating I’m going into cardiac failure.

“She’s in V-fib, get the defibrillator now!” The man with the lower voice yelled. I felt the clothing on my body being ripped open, a few buttons popping and flying off. The patches were on and in a few seconds, I felt the shock and I could feel it vibrate every vessel inside me. They cleared a second a time, my heart rate returning to normal.

“Okay Jackson you’re gonna have to finish her later she needs a head scan now.” The women voiced, and immediately I could feel the gurney being whisked and into an elevator, going up to the CT room.

Being in the big machine and hearing the slight “ZZZ” sound felt like the first time of peace since my brain fully woke up. For a few hours now I was being poked and prodded, not even getting a chance to hear my own thoughts. This was the only time I got to really savor whatever life I had left, to really hear and feel the people I love around me, and to prepare for what could happen. It felt inevitable to try and escape death, it was a part of my job. And the one regret I’d have is not being the real me with the person I loved most in this world. That tall, pretty, incredible genius was the love of my life for the past 3 years I’ve been with the BAU, and he was everything and more I could’ve ever dreamed of and better. I could physically feel my heart aching at the way his voice cracked yelling for me. I wished nothing more than to look him straight in the eye and hold his hands, telling him I’ll be okay. The way he stuttered when he said friend, so unsure. We had kissed just a few days ago, after a long day of work he came by my hotel room and finally expressed his feelings after so long. The fireworks we shared were something out of a book. The way his hands fit around my face, holding me so close and so softly as if I were glass and he was afraid to break it. We hadn’t talked about it since, but we figured we had more time. But now I realize time is never guaranteed.

Within 30 minutes I was in a regular room, the plastics man working on sowing back up my wounds. “You, Ms.Y/N are one of the luckiest gunshot victims I’ve seen; no severe tears. Which means this just needs a quick stitch and you’ll be all set.” He said softly to me, I could feel a smile on his face as he spoke.

I heard another person walk into the room, footsteps almost so quiet.

“H-How, how is she Dr.?” He was shaking.

“The CT showed some swelling but no internal bleeding. We’re going to keep her here overnight but I’m sorry, I don’t know if and when she’ll wake up. That’s all up to her.” The women sadly spoke, unsure of even her own diagnosis.

I heard Spencer start to cry again, a loud puff coming from deep in his chest.

“Dr. Reid, could you please sit with me.” The two of them stepped to sit in the 2 seats next to my bed.

“I know what it feels like to be in a field of study where, you know everything there is to know. And I also know what it feels like to be completely out of control in that field, when you know what to do, but you can’t even do it.” She sighed. “I am one of the best neurosurgeons in the country, I know almost everything...but yet I had a brother who died of a brain injury. I could’ve been there to help him but I couldn’t do a damn thing. I know what this feels like.” Reid started crying harder, his cries muffled by his own hands. He was trying so hard not to let the sounds leak from the room, but it did and it made my bones stand still.

“I had a mentor who was in a coma, and even though I’m in plastics”- (told y’all) -”there was still nothing I could do for him. We just had to wait. He was one of my greatest friends, one of the best people you’d ever meet, so loved. The love of his life died in front of his eyes and I think most of us knew he’d be going next, to be with her. Life was too painful without her. Do you love this girl right here?” Spencers respond came almost immediately.

“More than anybody or anything.”

“Then wait, just a little longer. If she loves you like you love her she’s going to fight to wake up and be alive.” Both of the doctors walked out, leaving me and my lover boy.

His veiny hands grabbed onto mine, rubbing softly at my knuckles.

“I’m gonna do what he said, just wait a little longer. But please Y/N, if you can hear me, come back to me.” He cried into my hand, the tears coating it.

As if the Gods granted it themselves, I moved my eyelids open. Very slowly, and it hurt to do so, but they opened. Spencer sensed movement, and his head instantly came up holding on tighter to my hand. A weak smile placed on my face as my tired eyes loving locked with his.

“Waiting for me?”

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid masterlist #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler imagine

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wild-west-wind · 4 years

Text

Here’s that story I wrote yesterday. Posted on AO3 which I was previously unaware of, because some folks said that’d be easier for them and I live to serve.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Major Character Death

Fandom: Original Work

Additional Tags: cw blood, cw violence, it's a messy little thing, and it is probably obvious I didn't put much thought into it

Grasshopper Pie

In the hills above the town of Grasshopper, where once monsters roams the earth, something lies beneath the ground. Not quite dead, but not quite alive. Hungry.

(A little short story I banged out in a day. I don't like it.) (Overall there's a lot I'd like to change, but this is an exercise for me in saying "That's good enough," rather than lamenting over multiple versions of the same story.)

[ Link ]

Beneath the cut is the first ~1000 words or so.

About an hour north of Billings there’s a little town framed in a hollow by rocks as bright green as avocado flesh. Twenty people live there, give or take. Once there was a glacier nearby, full of dead grasshoppers, slowly melting, quickly rotting as they fell from their icy tomb. Free, finally, but only for a moment.

They called this town Grasshopper.

A dirty black truck rolled down Grasshopper’s main street, mostly empty, lined with forgotten storefronts. A milliner only identifiable from the painted sign on the brick side wall of a slumping building. An assay office, windows broken, stood beside the very much open general store. A diner flicked off it’s lights down the way. Much to Amaya Zigor’s dismay, they closed for lunch.

In the sagebrush speckled hills above Grasshopper, a group of students set up camp. Between open sided tents and awnings lay broad pits. In the green soil lay black fragments of bones. Long dead. Unlike the grasshoppers in the long-gone glacier, these would not rot. They already had.

Amaya pulled her truck up to the dig site, and backed it up. Fresh supplies in her back seat. Enough beer to drown a horse in her cooler. She wasn’t thinking about that, she wasn’t thinking about how her ice cream was melting in her plastic grocery bag, seeping into her upholstery. She was thinking about the fossils, the rocks. She was thinking they were wrong.

In the hills above Grasshopper, Montana, there were fossils. Bones of dinosaurs, bones of small reptiles. One damaged, but more-or-less articulated wing from an Azhdarchid that Jacob, a new student in the lab, was certain can be identified to the genus Quetzalcoatlus, which would have been cause enough to justify the night’s drinking if he hadn’t been full of shit.

Amaya sat down over the edge of one of their pits. Exposed in the upheaved earth, was a narrow bank of glassy black earth. Below it bone fragments. Above it, more bone fragments. Above that, the physical boundary marking the end of the Cretaceous, and the extinction of the non-avian dinosaurs. There were two impacts here, separated by centuries at least. Probably millennia. The fossils below the older impact were jumbled. Impact assemblages, she and her labmates were certain, but even those were odd. The taphonomy was strange. Bones died jet black, but in every fragment, every hollow, grew bright blue minerals, large and irregular crystal forms with no appreciable cleavage. The running guess was the mineral chalcanthite, but it was much too hard for a fingernail to scratch. In truth, no one, not even Dr. Lee, had the slightest idea what was going on here.

Amaya Zigor was certain that, however this dig ended, she and her lab wound either be the stars of the next Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference (next year in sunny Brisbane), or complete laughing stocks for their outrageous publications. Either way, she would leave Montana with a PhD, and folks would know her name.

A jolt ran up Amaya’s back, and she nearly fell into the pit, as Dr. Lee rested a heavy hand on her shoulder. His round face framed by long sideburns and horn-rimmed glasses.

“Amaya,” he said smiling, “You’ve been sitting here for half an hour.”

Amaya took a deep breath, and forced out a pale imitation of a laugh, “I have a lot to think about.”

“Don’t we all!” he said, sitting beside her, a little too close, “Have you seen pit three today? Shayna has been finding some excellent crocodilian material over there. Mostly osteoderms and teeth, but enough to diagnose a species I’m sure.”

Amaya didn’t respond. Lee was overly fond of Shayna. The whole lab knew they were fucking. The fossils in the ground knew they were fucking. The only person who didn’t know was the other Dr. Lee, whose hydrogeology projects out in California kept them apart just long enough for Dr. Lee the paleontologist to engage with his favorite students for some intensive extracurriculars. It didn’t help that Shayna screamed like a banshee in bed.

“I might have you go over and assist her tomorrow. I know you’ve been hard at work over here, but I think her finds should are worthy of pulling you off this side.”

Amaya turned to face her advisor, and flatly said “Of course.” Lee heard what he wanted.

“Good, I’m glad you understand. Try to get these jacketed by tonight, will you,” he said, gesturing to the eroded limb bones in pit seven, “wouldn’t want them to break down any more than they have.”

Amaya agreed, and retrieved her tools.

Even in the early evening, the summer sun beat down hard through a cloudless sky. Heat poured off the green earth below, light glinting off the blue crystals pocking the dig site. With dental picks and a brush at her side, Amaya set to work, exposing the underside of the therapod femur exposed in pit seven. She labored past sunset, prepped and dug and cleaned as she heard her lab around the campfire, heard them crack open cans of beer, and pass around a bottle of Wild Turkey. Crickets sang on the warm clear earth. Their natural rhythm undulating, rising and falling and thrumming with some unseen energy.

The ground under Amaya’s knees seemed to grow only warmer as she cleared rock away. As the air grew cool above her, the pit was hot and wet. A foul, implacable odor hung inside.

Most folks don’t know that fossils smell. Some of rotten eggs, some like a fresh asphalt road on a hot summer day. Pit 7 didn’t smell like either. Pit 7 smelled like electricity, like an old TV the moment it turned off, as static danced about the dying light on the screen, whipping motes of dust into a frenzy.

Below the femur the blue crystals grew more common, filling not just cracks in bone, but every pore of the rock as well. With every scrape of her pick the reek of the pit grew stronger. Blue sand replacing the green dust at the pit floor, until the blue crystal stopped giving way. Amaya scratched at in, and pulled at it, and watched as her picks failed against it. She pulled herself out of the pit, and staggered, her legs asleep and electric, back to the truck, where she retrieved a diamond pick, and a hammer. Chills ran down her arms and legs, as she found the air outside the pit was icy cold, frost creeping up the edges of her windows.

#anyway if y'all hate this you're in good company #because I'm not please with it #but whatever #it's a thing #it reads like I wrote it in a day #fueled by a frozen pizza and two pots of coffee alone #there's something good in there I think #but it needs to be twice as long for it to work

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years

Text

august

pairing: sheriff lee bodecker x younger! reader

warnings: cheating, age gap

a/n: i wanted to write this chapter to show how y/n’s and lee’s affair began and to show how y/n shaped lee or his point of view. this song is mostly based off august from taylor swift (bc we all know at this point that i’ll just write fanfics based of any folklore/evermore songs) and war of hearts from ruelle. this one is not smut, the next one (illicit affairs) is gonna be. additionally, i’ve come to the conclusion that knockemstiff y/n dressed like betty draper and after-knockemstiff y/n dresses likes meg draper and that is canon. btw if you’re interested in what she’s wearing in this chapter here [x] p.s.: lee’s not captain yet in this chapter

> ILLICIT AFFAIRS

Salt air and the rust on your door, I never needed anything more. Whispers of are you sure? Never have I ever before. But I can see us lost in the memory, August slipped away into a moment in time ‘cause it was never mine

August was an odd month this year; the godless and sunless town was going through the biggest heatwave anyone could remember. Most habitants were in the parks and outside their homes in plastic chairs enjoying the heat, however, in Y/N’s house, they were baking apple pies with the apples leftover from the little apple tree farm they had a bit south from the town centre. Y/N had suggested they just gave away the apples but her grandmother, ever the traditional woman, believed the best way to show appreciation would be to bake something. “It shows you care, Y/N” as if she cared about anyone in this god forbidden town. She couldn’t wait to pack her bags and go to the big city where she can be something other than a trophy wife. Besides, it wasn’t like there were any available suitable husband options around.

She wiped the flour out of her forehead as she placed the last pie in the oven. 24 pies, surely that would account for a high electricity bill at the end of the month. Not that it mattered anyway, her grandmother could more than afford it after all she was the woman right now sat at the kitchen table, giving out plates as if they cost nothing.

- Y/N, sweetheart, can you go and deliver the pie on the living room. It’s already cold and I don’t want it to go stale.

- Yeah, sure.

- To Captain Bodecker’s house. Promised Jane I’d send her one.

- Captain Bodecker’s? But that’s in town. - she scratched her elbows. She’d rather not go to Captain Bodecker’s house yet again he probably wasn’t even around, always busy in the station. - Can I take the car?

- It’s a 20 minute walk, it’s sunny outside and you’re young. Save on gas.

- But ...

- Y/N, you better be outside with that pie in 5 seconds or we’ll have a problem. - she interrupted.

Y/N sighed, unlacing the back of her apron and placing it on the hook. Just great, that’s all she needed today, to walk to the town centre to deliver one of the pies she had just spent the whole morning preparing. She guessed it could’ve been worse, she could’ve had to go deliver it to the police station then Captain Bodecker would’ve definitely been there. It wasn’t that she disliked him, quite the opposite. Back when she volunteered at the precinct he was the only one who was nice to her or at least the only one who wouldn’t try to put his hand under her skirt. He’d even memorised her name which not even the Sheriff who had hired her knew, to this day whenever he saw her he still called her Bella. He was nice to her and she couldn’t say she hadn’t developed a little school girl crush on him, despite the fact he was married. He’d even stood up for her when her manager started screaming at her. Nevertheless, she couldn’t stand being in his presence, feeling like whatever she said would get her in trouble. His wife wasn’t someone she enjoyed either; Jane Bodecker was known for having quite the sharp gossiping tongue. Most of her friends commented their “men friends” would comment how she used to have quite the reputation while at high school and whenever she saw her at the shop, she’d always call her Little Miss Perfect or make some side comment about how she was occupying a job that someone else needed. Still, Y/N could deal with Jane, a little smile, a nod and she was ready to deal with the devil.

The sun scorched her skin as she walked her last minutes til the Bodecker residence. It was a nice home, recently painted with some nice flowers in the front garden yet there were rumours of Captain Bodecker wanting to move to Brewer Heights. Y/N didn’t know how she’d react if during her morning walks she passed by him, so she counted it only as rumours. Standing in front of the red door, she held the pie in one hand and knocked against it with the other one. She stood there waiting for someone to come in until footsteps made her wake up from her dream-like state and prepare to deal with Jane. However, as the door open, a familiar silhouette had her heart racing.

- Y/N, what brings you here? - she watched him dressed in casual clothing, something she barely saw if she had ever seen; jeans and a white t-shirt.

- Captain Bodecker ... I ... I was looking for your wife. My grandmother sent this. - she held up the pie in front of her. - She said Mrs. Bodecker wanted one.

- Jane’s ... out. Come in. - he opened the door wider for her but she remained in the same place like a statue. - Come on, it’s too hot out. Don’t want no fainting lass complains on my day off. ‘Sides, don’t you want a slice of pie?

- I really shouldn’t.

- You can say no if you want to. No need to be afraid of me, Y/N. - he leaned against the doorframe. - Thank you for the pie, though.

- I guess I can stay a bit. - she tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. Lee couldn’t help but shamelessly check her out as she walked inside his home. It was no secret she was a beautiful woman, heck, Lee thought her to be the prettiest little thing to ever arrive into town, with her sunny smile and pretty dresses. This one was no different, lavender which complimented her so well with a little white rope tied around her waist into a bow, like a little present. Nevertheless, he kept it under wraps he was a married man besides every man in town shamelessly harassed her, despite the side eye he gave them.

He watched as the fabric of her dress swung with the movement of her hips. Lee surely didn’t expect such a pretty girl to walk into his home, had he known he would’ve made an effort to fix the mess that was his house. Normally Jane tended to keep that sorted as he usually spent the day and night at work, but with her staying with her mother after their last fight. It wasn’t anything new, she always did that whenever they fought and then would return after Lee made a fool of himself by begging her to return and that he was wrong during the fight. Still, she placed the pie on his kitchen table with a gentleness and posture which mirrored her privileged upbringing. He couldn’t lie and say his mind hadn’t wandered around how she would look when she eventually got married, after all that was the future of all Knockemstiff women. He also couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t wondered how she would look as his wife. She was sweet, with a sharp mind which definitely had not been appreciated in the precinct. Despite this, productivity seemed to raise whenever she called out any officers who had their feet on top of their desks instead of doing paperwork. He still remembered having to always keep an eye on her, were any officers to get too rowdy with her. Yet, she didn’t care and she held herself and believed herself to deserve the same respect as every working man in Knockemstiff. Although he imagined how she would be as a wife, he had to admit he couldn’t see her ever being some Knockemstiff’s man’s wife and with the example from her grandmother, she was surely on the path to be a rebellion starter.

- Big fan of apple pie, Y/N?

- My grandmother refuses to sell the apples so instead I woke up at 6AM and have been baking apple pies nonstop. She says it shows I care.

- Never thought you to be found of Knockemstiff residents.

- And I am not. - she spoke as if the mere thought of it offended her. - She said she promised Jane one.

- Don’t think Jane will be back for a while. - he leaned against the kitchen door, watching her place the pie onto his kitchen table. - You can take half that pie, if you want.

- Trust me, I have my share of apple pie at home. - she folded her hands on top of her stomach. - Uhm ... Do you want me to cut you a slice of pie? I normally take mine with a bit of vanilla ice cream on top. It’s gorgeous, the warmth of the pie and the cold of the ice cream. You should try it?

- You’re just full of ideas, aren’t ya? - he sat on the wooden chair as she sliced the pie to the best of her abilities. - Shouldn’t you be at university, or someth’ng?

- Well, grandma had the stroke and she’s not as motile as she used to be. I’ve been taking some classes at Ohio University but it’s not the same, it’s ...

- It’s not the big city, ain’t it? - he added.

- It’s not that I dislike Knockemstiff, Captain ...

- Yeah you do. - he interrupted her. - Just don’t let the Sheriff hear it. He already ain’t too found of ya.

- Nobody in that precinct liked me. - she rolled her eyes. - Well, they did but I did not like them in that way.

- I liked ya. Whenever you screamed at Leroy it always made my day.

- Leroy’s the most incompetent person I know. All he does is pimp girls out as if he discovered prostitution. I feel sorry for the girls.

- He does a good service.

- Of course you’d know. - she pushed her hair away from her shoulders, feeling the sweat roll down her neck. God it was, too hot. Lee furrowed his brown, laying the fork onto the porcelain plate. She caught his look, brow raising over in a playful, smug kind of way, before she laid her hands on the table. - I’ve seen it before.

- You’ve seen it before?

- Don’t worry, I didn’t see IT, but I saw Jenny get in the car with you just after graduation. I know what she does, she would call me all the time whenever Leroy was being an ass.

- Oh ...

- Don’t worry, I’m not gonna say anything. Everyone in this town cheats, mostly because everyone in this town marries someone just because they think that will save them from Hell. No one is saved if they’re born in Knockemstiff, not even me.

- You mean to tell me you’ve done bad things, Y/N? ‘Cause I don’t believe it.

- I’ve never done it but I’ve thought bad things. All the time. - her gaze lowered from his face to his waist before returning back to his eyes. It was a millisecond gaze, something she herself knew but he didn’t notice, no matter how observant he was. There were no perfect men in Knockemstiff, but in Y/N’s mind he was her perfect man. After all, there are no perfect men anywhere, even Saints sin and then die heroically to get into heaven. Y/N would rather sin than die for people who would’ve had her accidentally killed many times if it weren’t for her grandmother’s name and status in town. What’s the fun in being good? Every time she was good she got yelled at, someone put her hand under her skirt or tried to pin her against a wall. She was good, she would just rather sin so people wouldn’t taint her goodness. It’s a question of self preservation, at least that’s what she told herself.

- That doesn’t make you bad. If so there wouldn’t be good people.

- There are no good people. - she added, ever the negative person she was, something she had inherited from her mother and which everyone who knew her could trace back to. - All people are born so they could be buried. Everything you do ... in a 100 years they won’t remember everything and all that be left of you is your burial site. That’s your legacy.

- Such negative views for someone who wants out of Knockemstiff. I thought you’d have a better outlook on things.

- I’m never getting out of here. - she sighed, almost used to the idea that she was going to stay no matter how long she fought it. - I’m gonna die here.

- Dying ain’t so bad. - he leaned against his chair. Y/N smiled at him, looking around his home. It was messy yes but it was still a good home yet that wasn’t what she noticed. Looking out the window, she saw a built in pool. She didn’t remember hearing the Captain had a pool. Sure, he had a the better salary compared to everyone else in town except for the Sheriff, Mayor, and her grandmother. Yet she had never heard of him having a pool, not even she had one.

- You have a pool?

- Yeah, built it back when Sandy used to come over to wind up from the dinner job. She’s married now so I don’t think she wants a pool at her big brother’s home anymore.

- I don’t think anyone in town has a pool. - she rose from her chair and walked to the window in a lavender rush. - It’s gorgeous.

- You can come over whenever you want, Y/N.

- Can I go now? - she looked over her shoulder to him. The idea of being able to swim while the boiling august heat continued to shine down onto the hellish town. Somehow it made sense yet it didn’t. Lee cocked his head to the side, wondering if he’d misheard her words or if she was really considering swimming into his pool. Unwanted feeling stirred south of him and he punished himself mentally for imagining the lavender flower girl in such ways.

- Well, uh ... you don’t have a swimming costume. - he babbled like a confused, stunned child.

- I can swim on my undergarments. It’s pretty much a lace embroidered swimming costume. - Lee merely nodded, not knowing exactly what to do but knowing he was flirting with sin, looking at an abysses and seeming not to fear that he was going straight into it.

Y/N walked from the window up to the kitchen door which led over to the garden. The once white door had withered with time, turning slightly yellowish with rust on the borders, the glass of the small see through windows cracked yet remaining its shape. The door seemed to be a small reminder of what was still wrong in the Captain’s life but she chose not to dwell over it, no to think about it. She felt the cobblestones against her feet covered by an old pair of white ballerina slips as her mirrored image became clear in the crystalline pool water.

Lee on the other hand watched like a hawk, from the rusted door he’d broken so many bottles of liquor against, as her lavender fabric fell to the dirty cobblestones. The contrast of the prim expensive dress against the cobblestones which had aged as badly as he had done was telling. At least it was telling enough for him and he wondered if this was a gift from God or if the devil was toying with him. The devil is in the details, his mother used to say, yet as she emerged from the water, hands pulling down her hair, he was almost entirely sure the devil was the girl in his pool, the same girl who had worn white dresses until her 18th birthday. Yet again, the devil was once an angel and to him, she was closer to becoming a fallen one than continuing to wear shades of white.

- You don’t swim, captain? - she asked as she swam to the border of the pool.

- I don’t enjoy doing it. - he stayed glued to the door, a good distance from her to ensure he didn’t get tempted. - You gonna just swim around like a mermaid, huh?

- It’s better in the water than on the cobblestones, I tell ya. - she dipped into the water once again only to return to the surface, water droplets rolling down from her plump skin. - Come on, captain. You’re gonna leave me swimming by my lonesome? During the hottest day in Knockemstiff?

- You’re a trouble stirrer.

- Maybe I’m just bored. - she smiled at him. He knew she wasn’t tempting him, he knew Y/N. She liked to tease around, she enjoyed the freedoms which she imposed onto herself and as such she was much different from the women he knew. Not that he knew any women outside of Knockemstiff. He’d been born and raised here and all the women he saw from out of Knockemstiff were on his television screen. - Come on, Captain. It’s your pool.

- I don’t want you to see my belly.

- I don’t care, besides, if it’s that bad then come into your clothing. - her arms rested upon the pool border, wondering eyes tempting even the saint of all saints. Lee looked at the cold water reflecting the afternoon sunlight beams, trying to avoid the thoughts that crossed his mind before turning around. He let his jean trousers pool to the ground along with his shoes before entering the water using the ladder. He was almost sure he’d make her laugh if he were to jump into the water.

The water was cold and dripped from his skin in crystal like drops. Y/N offered him a playful smile, swimming close to him with that wide eye child naughty fun look only she managed to still hold intact. She held her hands slightly back before pushing the water towards him.

- You tellin’ me you invited me in for a water fight? - he chuckled at her actions.

- Afraid I’ll win?

- Kid, you’re much too tiny to win against me.

- Wanna bet? - she threw water again at him, swimming closer and closer to him before anchoring herself against him, hands on his shoulders. - I bet you as many apple pies as you want.

- Yeah, I’m trying not to gain any more weight, kid.

- You have beautiful eyes, I’ve never noticed. - she made eye contact with him, seeing her own reflection in his light blue eyes. Maybe she’d never notice because the uniform was so dark blue his eyes reflected it like mirrors, yet they were light. - They’re gorgeous.

- Trying to make me blush, kid?

- Just never noticed.

- Well huh ... - he could listen to his heart beating and drumming against his chest along with the soft movement of the water. All his eyes could see was her, her hands holding onto his shoulders and her angelic face looking at him. - Thanks, you have nice eyes too.

- You can’t take a compliment, Captain. - she teased.

- I don’t think I’m deserving of any, specially coming from you, kid.

- What is that supposed to mean?

- You know what the men say in town. They think you’re the prettiest thing in a skirt to ever pace around here. Pretty sure they’ll kill each other trying to get your favour.

- My favour? Is that what you think I’m good for?

- No ... I ... That’s not what I meant. - his face creased. - I’m just telling you what I hear.

- You seem to know a lot of gossip about me, captain. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’ve been asking around.

- What if I have? - Lee watched for the first time her mouth shut close. She didn’t know what to say next, eyebrows furrowed together as she inspected his face, slow blinking. Her eyes left his to look at the water back at him. - Just looking out for you ... not a lot of people like you ‘round town.

He hands gripped his shoulder as she swam closer to him. Her intention was to hug him thank you. Of course she didn’t expect no one to look out for her, she didn’t care about what a bunch of housewives and hopeless alcoholics thought of her. She knew he didn’t inspire adoration in them other. As she got closed to him, he leaned down, capturing her lips into his. Her hands slide from her shoulders to his chest, almost as if she wanted to be the good one and push him away. He was married after all. However, as his lips moved against hers she found herself incapable of pushing him away, hands relaxing just resting against his chest as she found herself acting on her sinful thoughts for the first time.

So much for summer love, for saying us, ‘cause you weren’t mine to lose.

taglist: @lookiamtrying

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let-the-dream-begin · 4 years

Text

In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 31: Home For Christmas

Chapter 30

Read on AO3

Christmas morning began with a solid weight on Claire’s back that knocked the wind out of her. Eyes still closed, she let out a stifled oomf, and heard a low chuckle beside her. (They’d both made sure they were fully clothed before falling asleep for this exact reason.)

“Aye, good morning, leannan.”

Claire groaned; of course the man was already awake, and had probably been more than capable of stopping Faith from pouncing on her. When the tiny slaps to her head began, he finally intervened.

“Alright, alright, let’s be nice.” The weight was removed, and Claire finally opened her eyes, rolling over to see that Jamie had lifted Faith bodily off of her, and was holding her up on his shins, holding her hands: playing airplane.

“Merry Christmas,” Jamie crooned up to Faith, and she squealed, kicking her legs. If Jamie didn’t have her hands, she’d have toppled over. But Claire knew he’d never let her fall. “Aye, merry Christmas, lass.”

Claire sighed heavily and forced herself to sit up, smiling lazily at the pair of them. “Merry Christmas, baby girl.”

Claire might as well have not said a thing; she was still giggling at Jamie and kicking her legs. Claire gave him a look, and he winked at her before letting Faith gently plop on the mattress between them.

“Hi,” Claire said, bending down to kiss her. “Merry Christmas.”

Faith hummed in response, squirming out of bed by climbing over Claire.

“Merry Christmas, Sassenach.”

Claire looked up to see Jamie sitting up, hair tousled, clothes rumpled from playing with her daughter, a lazy, peaceful grin on his face. Even as Faith relentlessly tugged on Claire’s hand, groaning impatiently, Claire leaned over to kiss him.

“Merry Christmas, love.”

Faith could be held up no longer, and soon both adults were being led to the tree, crouched over so as to have one each of her little hands. Gillian, thank God, already had coffee brewing, having already been trampled by Faith herself on the air mattress. Gillian had offered to get a hotel room this year, not wanting to overcrowd Claire now that she knew Jamie would be joining them, but Claire would not hear of it, and neither would Jamie. Both ladies were wearing their matching set of Christmas pajamas, and Jamie dramatically remarked how left out he felt to not have received his own pair for this year.

“I’ll remember that fer next year,” Gillian said wryly, handing them each their own festive mugs of coffee.

Air mattress out of the way and coffee distributed, Faith was tearing into the first of three bigger boxes before anybody could stop her.

“That’s from Auntie Gi, darling,” Claire said, nestled tightly against Jamie, laying her still sleepy head on his shoulder, smiling contentedly. Claire knew exactly what was in those three identically sized boxes, and she fully expected the joyful stimming that erupted from Faith. It was an Animator Doll, the Anna one. Claire had seen them in the Disney store and decided that Faith absolutely had to have one, then Gi had offered to get her one, and so had Jamie.

Faith handed the unwrapped box to Gillian without so much as looking at her before she moved onto the next one, a gesture that very clearly meant: free her from her box immediately.

The three adults chuckled, Gillian muttering to herself as she headed to the kitchen to get scissors.

“That’s from Mummy,” Claire said, though she was sure it was falling on deaf ears. Claire had gotten the Elsa one, and the box was shuffled over to Gillian, still just beginning to open the Anna box. Faith moved onto the third box, Claire reminding her it was from Jamie as she got up from the couch, abandoning his warmth to help Gillian with the boxes before they fell behind and Faith had a fit.

The third doll was Merida, the one Jamie insisted he get for her. Faith hummed loudly and flapped her hands, squealing with delight. She looked over to see Auntie Gi and Mummy busy trying to free Anna and Elsa, so she picked up the box to shuffle over to Jamie in her silent request.

“D’ye like it, Faith?” Jamie said, setting his mug down to take the box. “She’s our lass, aye?”

Faith nodded, then bounded back to the tree.

“Faith Julia,” Claire called. “I won’t finish opening these until you say thank you.”

She hastily kissed Gillian’s cheek, to which she replied, “Ye’re welcome, Pipsqueak,” then Claire’s, answered by “You’re welcome, lovie,” and then Jamie’s.

“Ye’re very welcome, mo chridhe.”

The next few gifts were from Santa: a few DVD’s Faith had been asking for (one day she pulled up a list on her tablet of every single Disney film ever made alongside their DVD cover and started pointing to the ones they didn’t own, some that Claire hadn’t thought about in years) and a few she had not, a plush of the pig and chicken from Moana, a new puzzle, and a set of Merida pajamas. By the time Faith got through tearing all the wrapping off, all of her new treasures were freed from their boxes and plastic wrapping. The pajamas had come last, and before anyone could stop her, she was pulling her nightgown over her head.

“Faith, wait, that’s not — ”

Before Claire could remind her that she was to get dressed in her bedroom, and that anywhere else was inappropriate, Jamie was already holding the shirt over her head, smiling at her as she poked her head through. Claire shook her head, trying to suppress the smile that insisted on making its way across her face. She just sighed, letting Jamie finish dressing her, and Gillian snorted into her coffee mug.

While Faith got started arranging her dolls and toys on the coffee table and finding spaces for her new DVD’s among the rest of her collection, the adults began their own gift exchange. Gillian and Jamie exchanged gifts first, each giving the other Scottish-themed holiday baubles, causing all three adults to laugh. Claire got Gillian a shot glass with a bawdy quote that served her all too well, and Gillian got Claire a small potted succulent, the pot having been hand painted by her.

Claire was nervous; she was always a terrible gift-giver. Frank had been content to receive the most generic man-gifts known to humankind, but Claire knew full well that Jamie deserved more than that. Yet even as she handed him the box, she was worried she’d still gotten just another generic man-gift.

Jamie grinned at her as he took the box, opening it with care, as if to not disturb the wrapping. He would be the type to open presents that way. He set the paper aside and opened the box.

“Open the card second,” Claire said quickly as he picked up the envelope. He looked at her sideways, then set the envelope aside. After unfolding the wrapping paper, he pulled it out: a gray Scottish tweed cap.

Jamie was grinning ear to ear, examining the fabric. “It’s authentic,” Claire chimed in. “Made sure of it.”

“It’s braw, Sassenach.”

“I saw on Facebook your father had one in a lot of your photos, but I never saw you with one. So I thought I’d give you a bit of Scotland for Christmas.”

His grin spread wider, if that was even possible. “Thank you, Sassenach. I love it.”

“Put it on,” Claire demanded. “I want to see.”

Jamie chuckled, but he obliged, and Claire’s heart fluttered.

“What d’ye think?”

Claire leaned in so their faces were inches apart. “You’re as dashing as ever.”

He captured her lips sweetly, both of them grinning into the kiss.

“Oi,” Gillian barked. “Ye’ve an audience, here.”

They broke apart, still grinning, and Claire rolled her eyes. “Alright.” She swiped the cap off of Jamie’s head and put it on herself. “Open the card now.”

Jamie chuckled, taking up the envelope. “Ye dinna look bad yerself, lass.”

Claire stuck her chin up proudly. “A girlfriend always ensures she looks good in the clothing she buys her boyfriend.”

Jamie shook his head as he tore open the envelope, a blush creeping up his neck.

“What?”

“Nothin’.”

“What?” she demanded, shoving him by the shoulder.

He glanced at Gillian and then sighed in resignation. “I was thinkin’,” he whispered in her ear so that only she could hear, “what ye might look like wearing just the cap.”

Claire’s stomach flipped, her breath stuttering. “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

He bit her earlobe in response, and she squealed.

“Oi!” Gillian shouted. “There’s a bairn. No’ to mention me.”

The pair of them just laughed, and Jamie continued tearing into the envelope. Claire remembered exactly what she’d written; she’d agonized over it for hours and days:

Merry Christmas, Jamie. You’ve changed my life for the better in every imaginable way. I love you.

Your Sassenach,

Claire

He kissed her again, and Gillian was no doubt rolling her eyes.

“Trust me, mo ghraidh,” he said. “Ye’ve changed my life, too. Made me whole.”

Claire briefly indulged his beautiful words, stroking his jaw, before pulling away so he would look at what was inside the card.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a subscription to something called Flaviar,” Claire explained. “Once a quarter you get all these samples of rare whisky. Right up your alley.”

Jamie beamed. “This is unbelievable!”

“You can go on the website and customize your account with your personal preferences,” Claire went on.

“Sassenach…” he laughed. “It’s great. It’s so great.”

Claire smiled back at him. “I’m glad you like it.”

With one final kiss (and an eye roll from Gillian), Jamie picked up his gift to Claire and handed it to her, a large square box. He looked just as antsy as she had felt giving him her gift. She tore open the paper with no such grace that he’d possessed when opening his. There was a plain white box, and Claire opened the lid and gasped. She reached in and pulled out a miniature greenhouse of sorts: a white framed structure of clear plastic, open on one side. There was tissue paper packed inside the structure, and Claire unburied a box labeled: Medicinal & Herbal Tea Indoor Herb Garden Starter Kit.

Her heart positively melted as another small gasp escaped her lips. “Jamie…”

“I noticed yer wee balcony garden a while back, Faith’s party I think,” he said. “Figured ye missed yer wee herbs in the cold months. So.”

“Oh, Jamie…there’s so much here!” She turned the box over and rattled off the list of seeds included. “Chamomile, Lavender, Lemon Mint, Calendula, Yarrow, Sage, Rosemary, Fennel, Lemon Balm, Peppermint, Hyssop…” She trailed off, realizing no one else had any bloody clue what she was saying. “This is more than I was even able to find myself.”

He shrugged. “Amazon has it all.”

“It’s perfect. It’s wonderful.” Her heart was fluttering; she felt like a kid in a candy store. “This, did you get this on Amazon, too?” She gestured to the greenhouse.

“Oh. I made that.”

Claire was gobsmacked, her mouth falling open. “Made it?”

“Aye. Wasna too difficult. Ye could just put them on the windowsill, but I thought it would be nicer in something a bit more decorative.” He suddenly looked very shy, as if apprehensive of the quality of his own handiwork.

“It’s beautiful.” She cupped his face in her hands, having put the box of herbs in her lap. “All of it. You are amazing.”

He was blushing, and Claire wanted to kiss every inch of his face that was splotching red. He still had no idea how bloody wonderful he was.

“There’s, ehm, one more thing.” He pointed to the packed tissue paper inside the greenhouse, and Claire reached inside, pulling out a small, long and narrow box. She tossed her head back, laughing out loud. It was a little dirt poker with a ceramic heart on the end that read: “I Dig You.”

Claire tossed it to Gillian, who also began snorting with laughter. “Oh, that’s awful.”

“Aye, aye,” Jamie said, laughing. “I couldna resist.”

“Oh, God…” Claire said, still laughing as she cupped his face again. “I dig you, too, love.”

Claire felt very much like Faith with her toys, wanting to tear into her gift and begin planting everything immediately. Sadly, it would have to wait, as there was much to do today before they met the Murrays at Jamie’s apartment.

“Faithie,” Claire crooned. She had finished filing away her DVD’s and was now surveying the dolls and toys she’d arranged atop the coffee table. “It’s your turn, lovie. Remember your gifts?”

She did not respond at all or give any indication that she’d heard her.

“Faith, come here,” Claire said, getting an idea. She took off Jamie’s cap. “Do you want to wear Jamie’s hat?”

She immediately picked her head up and scampered over to them, grabbing greedily for the cap. Claire let Faith feel the textures inside and out before plopping it on her little head.

“You look lovely,” Claire said, poking her nose. “This was my gift to Jamie. Where are your gifts, baby? Do you remember?”

Faith just giggled, spinning around with her hands on her head, on the hat. Claire sighed with a laugh, taking her by the shoulders and redirecting her to the tree. “Here, darling. See? Give one to Auntie Gi, one to Jamie, and one to me.”

Claire knew what was inside the shoddy wrapping; Faith had brought them home from school and they’d wrapped them together. She watched as Faith obeyed, handing one to each of the three adults, and Claire had to pull her into her lap to stop her from bolting off. They all opened them at the same time, Claire letting Faith “help” to keep her engaged.

“Oh! Look at that!” Claire said with exaggerated excitement, despite having seen it already. The other adults gave similar verbal reactions. “Oh, who is that? Who’s that, Faith?”

It was a large foam snowflake, each of the three decorated generously with glitter of all festive colors, a photograph in the center. The teacher had asked how many adults were in Faith’s life that would need one, which Claire appreciated. Faith still did not like to be photographed, so only half of her face was visible, due to the fact that she was hiding in Angus’s fur. But, it was better than the ones with her hands covering her entire face. And it was rather sweet, really, the way she was hugging her dog.

“Who is that, Faith?” Claire said again, pointing. Faith jabbed her finger into the picture, humming and bouncing in her lap. “Yes, who is it?” With an explosive squeal, Faith poked herself in the chest over and over. “Yes, good job!”

“Good girl,” Jamie echoed, and Gillian said, “Yay!”

“Who else?” Jamie chimed in, pointing at Angus in the photograph. “Who’s that, Faith?”

Faith gave another little shriek and pointed at Angus, chewing at his Christmas treat in the corner of the room on his bed.

“Ah! Good job!” Jamie gave her tiny thigh a squeeze, and the women cheered quietly as well.

“Thank you, baby,” Claire crooned, hugging her tightly and kissing her temple. “I love my present. Go give hugs.” She passed Faith over to Jamie, who held her tightly to his chest in his lap.

“Thank you, m’annsachd. I love it very much. I’m gonnae put it right on my tree when we get to my house.” He gave her one final squeeze before sending her off to Gillian, who had to call Faith’s name several times to get her to actually come to her.

“Thank ye very much, my sweet wee lass.” She gave her a loud kiss on the cheek. “Best present yet this year.”

Presents all distributed and Faith’s ornament hung on the tree, they moved into the kitchen for their Edible Arrangement breakfast. When Claire had explained to Jamie the Christmas traditions, he’d offered to pick up the ingredients for the cookies. When he’d asked, “What don’t ye have?” and Claire had answered: “Uh…the cookie mix and the icing?” he’d laughed out loud. Evidently, he’d thought they’d be making them from scratch, which was quite bold of him to assume, considering who he was dating. In the end, Jamie brought over ingredients for homemade sugar cookies, and the four of them had a grand old time forming the dough, rolling it out, and using the cookie cutters, all with Christmas music playing, of course.

While they were baking, Jamie encouraged Faith to pick out one of her new Christmas DVDs to watch. Claire had mentioned that she was not a fan of using streaming services, wanting to feel the physical copy in her hands and have a space where it belonged that was in her control. So Jamie purchased half a dozen movies that were already streaming somewhere, being that he wanted to watch a Christmas movie with his girls, but wanted to do it in a way that Faith would be happiest with.

And so, Jamie sat squished into the corner of the couch with Claire curled into him like a kitten, Faith at attention between the cushions with Gillian on the other side of her, with Home Alone playing on the tellie. Claire was nursing her second mug of coffee, warmed by it head to toe, along with Jamie’s occasional kiss to her head, or the deep rumbling in his chest that echoed against Claire’s back when he laughed.

Last Christmas, Claire had confidently told Gillian that it was the best one she’d ever had. And now, the future was bright with possibility, the promise of each holiday getting better and better with Jamie there. Hell, each month, each week, each day, every hour, minute, and second was better than the last with Jamie in her life.

God, she was never letting him go.

——

Jamie had given his sister a key to his apartment for her to use in the event that they were late coming from Claire's apartment because of Faith or any other mishaps. They were, in fact, perfectly on time, arriving at 1:30 exactly, giving them plenty of time to get things in order for the arrival of Jamie’s family.

And yet, Jenny’s rental car was there waiting anyway.

Jamie sighed, rolling his eyes as he parked his car.

“Shoulda known,” he said. “Maybe she’d come when I wanted her to if I told her four.”

Claire squeezed his knee, and he could tell she was trying not to laugh. “She’s going to have all the food out already, isn’t she?”

“Aye, that she is.”

Faith insisted on being carried by Jamie, refusing to even let herself be unbuckled from her car seat until Jamie tried. This left Claire and Gillian to handle the presents and Angus. Gillian had driven over Claire’s car so Jamie could spend the night with his family after they had to go back to Claire’s.

Jamie announced his presence as he unlocked the front door, but there was no need. Everyone was sitting in his living room, everyone except Jenny. Before he could ask, his father cut in:

“We tried tae offer help,” he said wryly. “Yer darling martyr sister shoved us out of the kitchen and told us she didna need us mucking anything up.”

“Out of my kitchen,” Jamie grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Aye, well, Merry Christmas, everyone.”

“Merry Christmas, son.” Brian stood up out of the recliner to embrace his son, cupping Faith’s head gently as he pulled away. “Merry Christmas, lassie. Great to see ye again.”

Jamie took note that his nephew was playing the Wii again, and he briefly wondered which of the three adults had known how to set it up. Unless the wee imp already figured it out.

“Merry Christmas, Claire,” Brian said warmly, embracing Claire tightly. “This is Gillian?”

“Yes! My best friend, and a Scot to boot,” Claire stepped aside.

“Pleasure,” Gillian said, shaking Brian’s hand. “Thank ye so much fer having me.”

“Any family of my son’s lass is family of mine,” he said, genuine as anything.

Ian greeted everyone next, and it only took a few seconds before Maggie was on Claire’s hip. Jamie watched with weak knees as she babbled to the baby and made adorable faces at her, reveling in the sound of their mingled giggling. Offers of playing with the baby was the only way to get Faith to allow herself to be put down, and then Jamie was off to the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas, Janet,” he said, watching as she finished arranging appetizers on a large serving plate.

“Merry Christmas, brother,” she said, her voice chipper.

“I see ye’ve got yer son on more of those mind-numbing video games.”

“Och, come off it. It was the only way to get him out of my hair.”

“Ye could have waited fer us. I could have helped.”

“Nonsense. I’m used to being the host on Christmas. Why should that change?”

“…Because ye’re not the host this Christmas?”

She shot him a dangerous look, and he gave up, putting his hands up in surrender. “We’re just inside when ye’re finished, o gracious host.”

Jamie produced the ornament Faith had made him and let her place it on the tree, and Ian and Brian remarked how lovely it was, how fine it looked on the tree. Shortly after, Jenny fluttered in with the tray of arranged food, and then the whisky and wine was flowing. Wee Jamie was pulled away from the Wii so the repeat marathon of A Christmas Story could be put on, and the adults sat and talked and laughed while Faith went back and forth between her mother’s lap, Auntie Gi’s lap, Jamie’s lap, and the baby mat that Maggie was playing on.

Jamie was going on and on about how great Faith was doing at the stables, how well her transition had gone between therapists. He knew full well that around this time last year, Jenny had been overly concerned with the propriety of this relationship, whether or not it was a relationship back then not mattering in the least to her. He emphasized how important it had been for there to be a boundary set between mom’s boyfriend and horse therapist. Jessica and Faith were developing a really special bond that was really lovely to see from the outside.

Not to mention that standing there with Claire and cheering her on together was one of the highlights of his entire week.

“What day of the week did ye say she goes?” Ian asked.

“Fridays,” Claire answered.

“Oh, and there’s a break fer the holidays,” Ian said, sounding sad. “I would ha’ loved to see her ride. We’ll be flying back before it starts again.”

Jamie’s chest warmed, and he felt Claire melt against him, and looked down to see her genuinely touched.

“I…I have videos, if you want to see,” Claire said tentatively.

“Oh do ye?” Ian lit up, and Jenny and Brian beamed.

“Yeah, hold on…”

Jamie watched as Claire clicked through her photos and found all the ones grouped by location at the stables. She scrolled all the way back to last September, and Jamie’s heart flipped.

“I’ve never seen these,” he said, leaning in.

“Oh,” Claire said, and he could feel her blush before he saw it, heat radiating from her sweater-clad form. “Well, at the time it didn’t seem appropriate to show you. But yes…there are quite a few that you…haven’t seen.”

Before long, Claire was sitting back as Jamie and his family combed through every photo and video of Faith at the stables. There were hundreds from her first day alone, and when they got to Halloween, Jenny smacked her brother’s arm.

“Oh, come on! Dinna tell me that wasna planned!”

“It wasn’t,” Claire said. “Faith chose it because Merida rides horses.”

“She’s sae smart,” Brian said, oozing with pride. Jamie’s eyes twinkled.

“Oh…look at this one…” Jenny put a hand on her heart. “The way he’s looking at her, even all the way back then!”

Ian and Brian nodded in agreement, smiling. Jamie leaned in and felt his breath catch in his throat. He remembered the moment clear as anything.

“Could I get one of her with Pippi before you put her away? Without the helmet?”

“Aye, of course.”

Faith hadn’t wanted to move just yet, and Jamie hadn’t seen the harm in letting them have one more moment together. And apparently Claire had snapped the exact moment where Jamie was struck by how amazing it was that the stars had aligned just so to allow him to have even the smallest part in this child’s life, remarkable as she was.

Even all the way back then.

“I used to stare at that one,” Claire admitted sheepishly, quietly, as if trying to confess to Jamie alone. “Random times during the day, I’d find myself looking at it. And I still managed to convince myself until July that that wasn’t strange at all.”

Jamie chuckled wetly, blinking away unexpected tears. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and fervently kissed the crown of her head.

“It’s like I knew,” Claire said, even quieter, as Jamie’s family started playing a video on the phone. “Like I knew that someday she’d be yours.”

Yours.

Jamie’s eyes lifted up to see Faith rocking and flapping her hands on Maggie’s play mat, bottom lip tucked firmly under her teeth, humming.

Mine.

“That,” Jamie whispered into her curls, “is the greatest gift you could give me, Sassenach.”

She kissed his cheek, and they returned their attention to the phone. After several minutes and several repeated, “Oh, beautiful!” “She’s a fine rider!” and “What a braw lass!”, the conversation steered in different directions. Jamie noticed that Claire kept turning her head toward wee Jamie, and during a lull in the conversation, she called out to him.

“Your uncle told me you play football, is that true?”

“Aye!” the lad burst proudly, eyes immediately lighting up. He shuffled closer to her, standing in front of where she sat on the couch.

“That’s amazing.” Claire beamed. “I wish I could see you play. I bet you’re so good.”

“I am,” he said, nodding curtly. “Ye can come next Christmas, and watch me then!”

Claire looked up at Jamie, who nodded encouragingly. “Yes, I’ll have to do just that.”

“I’ve got videos of some of his games,” Jenny chimed in. “If ye really want to see.”

“Of course I do!” Claire’s voice was filled with genuine excitement, and little Jamie was alight with joy.

“I want tae see! Let me watch!”

“Dinna crowd her, now.”

“No, it’s alright. Do you want to sit with me?”

The boy bit his lip and scrambled into Claire’s lap, and she accepted him into her embrace like it was the most natural thing in the world. Jamie watched, his heart melting as his nephew snuggled closer and closer into her, giggling every time Claire cheered for him on the screen. When he was able to tear his eyes away from them, he looked up to see Jenny beaming at them as well. She looked up, and their eyes met over Claire’s head, and Jenny’s smile widened.

It struck Jamie that of course his wee nephew would feel left out with all this talk about Faith, and he was far too young to understand that her achievements were all the more special because of her disability. So naturally he would feel like nobody cared as much about him as they did about Faith. And it was just so like Claire to notice that, and to take the initiative to make him feel included, make him feel special.

“Oh! What a save!” Claire exclaimed, and little Jamie laughed. Apparently he’d been playing goalie that day, and had actually managed to toe away the ball that was headed at him at about half a mile an hour. “You saved the whole game!”

Jenny flicked her eyes back to the screen. “Aye, that’s one of my favorites.” She ruffled her son’s hair, and Claire smiled at her. Jenny glanced up at Jamie once more, and she winked at him. In that moment, Jamie heard her loud and clear.

She's a keeper, brother.

Before long, dinner was served. When Claire complimented the ham, both Jamie and Jenny answered with thanks, and Jamie shot Jenny a look.

“Just because you put it in the oven doesna take away the marinating and seasoning I did.”

Claire just laughed, shaking her head at the two of them. “I can’t imagine what it was like to have raised those two,” she said, leaning over to Brian.

“Aye, ye’ve no idea.” They shared a laugh like lifelong friends cracking an inside joke, and Jamie had to laugh, too.

Could she have fit in any more perfectly?

After dinner was present time. Wee Jamie was bouncing off the walls nearly as bad as Faith. The kids of course went first, and Jamie made sure to emphasize that his nephew’s gift was from him and Claire both. She had helped him pick it and they split the cost. It was a wooden train set, complete with curves and ups and downs and Thomas and a few friends. Jenny chided both of them for buying something so expensive, but Claire waved it off.

“It’s from both of us,” Claire insisted. “And look how happy he is.”

“Thank you, Uncle! Thank you, Auntie!”

Jamie’s stomach flipped. “Lad—”

“You’re very welcome,” Claire interrupted, accepting the crushing embrace he was squeezing around her legs. “I’m so glad you love it.”

“Aye, you’re welcome, lad. But—”

“No, Jamie, he can call me that. It’s okay.” Claire said quickly. “If that’s how it makes sense to him, then I don’t see why not.”

He looked back and forth between the lad’s shining face and Claire’s flushed cheeks, then up at Jenny, who shrugged with a smirk.

“Aye. That’s…that’s fine.”

By the time Jamie’s head stopped spinning, Faith was already halfway finished tearing open the first box that she’d reached for. It was a horse for a barbie doll to accompany the rest of the gift in another box. Wee Jamie tore open the gift from his grandda while Faith reached for the other box, and Jamie watched with bated breath, knowing exactly what was inside. Claire crouched down next to her daughter, cheering on Faith’s paper tearing excitedly.

“Oh, Faithie, look!”

Jamie met Jenny’s eye; she looked nervous.

“It’s a barbie with a dog, and he looks just like Angus!” Claire opened her mouth to keep talking, but her breath caught in her throat, and her fingertips rested tentatively on the fabric taped to the plastic of the box, right over the dog inside. Her mouth hung open, and she looked up at Jenny, her eyes glistening.

“Where…did you get this…?”

“I made it,” Jenny said sheepishly.

Claire’s mouth fell open wider, and she blinked rapidly. Faith, completely oblivious to her mother’s emotion, thrust both boxes toward her, demanding they be opened. Jamie stepped in to help, having already grabbed the scissors in anticipation of this request. He sat down next to Claire and put his hand on her knee.

“I sent her a picture of Angus,” Jamie explained, poking the fabric on the box. “And Jen hunted down a small enough print, made a pattern, everything.”

Jamie freed the plastic dog first and untaped Jenny’s creation, then slipped it on.

“Look, Faith, see?” Faith took it in her hands eagerly. “Now he’s just like Angus.”

Barbie’s dog now proudly wore a rainbow, puzzle piece-patterned vest that read, in tiny, carefully stitched lettering: “Autism Service Dog.”

“See, lass?” Jenny chimed in, kneeling in front of Faith. “This barbie is just like you.”

Jamie’s heart was fit to burst as Faith flapped her hands with glee, and Claire half laughed, half sobbed beside him.

“Jenny…” Claire croaked. “This is…beyond…” She sniffled and swallowed, quickly swiping tears off her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Every wee lass deserves to see herself in Barbie,” Jenny said it like she was reciting a cheesy toy advertisement on the tellie, but Jamie could see the emotion behind her eyes.

Claire leaned forward and threw her arms around Jenny, and she squeezed right back.

“That means…so much to me. More than I can ever say.”

“You’re very welcome, Claire. So very welcome.”

Jamie felt tears pricking his own eyes, and might have succumbed to them if Faith hadn’t been moaning impatiently about freeing her doll and its horse from their confines.

Jamie’s girls pulled away from one another, each smiling wetly.

“If my son can call ye Auntie, d’ye think it’s alright if I call ye Sister?”

Claire’s smile grew impossibly wider, and she nodded. “I would be absolutely honored.”

And suddenly, for Jamie, every single thing was right in the world.

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bunny-hoodlum · 3 years

Text

Asynchronous With You: Chapter 2

ship: naruhina

rating: teen (maybe mature later)

tags: Modern Day AU, Foster Siblings, Family, Angst, Unrequited Love, Poor Communication

summary: An awkward journey full of self-denial and missed moments between two foster siblings. Perhaps their love will find the right timing someday.

When Naruto and his playdate make it back to his place, there are no shoes in the genkan. He's got the apartment to himself just as promised.

He's starting to get nervous when he takes off his shoes and she bounds across the corridor, heading towards the living room.

A brow perks up as he follows after her and she's sitting prettily on the sofa, with her hand on the remote.

He walks up behind her and perches his elbows beside her head as she finds the program she was looking for.

One of those intense dramas with controlling parents and an abusive ex-boyfriend. Naruto dropped his head with a sigh. This is not what he thought was going to happen.

At the sound of her patting the spot beside her, he reluctantly agrees and plops down with his arms crossed and his spine limp. Already bored.

"I'm obsessed with these, so you're going to have to bear with it," she said almost seductively, like a Mistress withholding his reward after a bout of slow torture.

Suddenly the front door goes ker-chunk. A shock runs up his back and his arms tense around his middle. Head turned towards the entryway, he stares in disbelief as Hinata pads across the corridor. She nearly enters. The kitchen is behind them after all. But she freezes as his panicked expression and ducks down around the corner.

Naruto raises up, saying "I'm gonna take a piss."

"If you're escaping, I'm leaving."

"I'll be back, for real. I'll watch your show with you. But I really gotta leak," He hurried off and sharply rounded the right corner. He grabbed Hinata by her shoulders and hurried her down the corridor, hiding her behind his larger frame. They made it back to her room where he closed the door behind them. And then he looked up at Hinata's winded expression. "Thought you'd be at Cram."

"I,I was about to make us dinner," her voice shook breathlessly. His eyes dropped down to the grocery bags in both her hands. He could make out an extensive category of cup ramen brands and flavors through the semi-transparent plastic. The shape of the other bag was tented, a case of eggs weighing it down. "I didn't think you'd be happy with curry udon."

"I wasn't," He crossed her room, closing the space between them and he took the bag of ramen of from her. He eyed the goodies inside. Some favorites, some unknowns. Triple X Crawfish flavor? Carbonara? Squid Ink? He was already beginning to forget both his guest and his libido in favor the buffet right before him.

"I thought we could try them together." She bit her lip. Her with her hand free, she began to finger and twist the hem of her skirt. An action that was perilously similar to the vision he had when he imagined her in her panties.

The cloth-wringing was a subtle shift from her finger-poking days, but it was a tell nonetheless.

It must've put her off to find out there was a stranger home, even if he was the one that brought her in. She's still not very good around new people, and he thinks perhaps that pretty girls intimidate her too, (with special exceptions held out for Ino and Sakura). He literally just brought the enemy into her territory.

What to do, what to do?

Did it seem like he had a choice anymore? No way he could still get lucky with Hinata home.

Naruto grimaced as he did the only thing he could do. "Well, she said if I don't watch her show with her, she'll leave."

Hinata's shoulders visibly relaxed. They exchanged lopsided smiles as they hovered in the silence.

Taste-testing cup ramen with his foster sister. His mouth stretched wider at the notion, contentment and gratitude deepening a little further in his heart.

When was the last time they hung out together, anyways?

They passed the time talking like they used to do, only pausing when a rather violent ker-chunk rattled down the corridor.

Naruto grimaced as that girl's dual nature became more apparent to him. Kind of like someone he used to have a crush on.

Naruto stood up and reached his hand out to Hinata, grinning widely, teeth gleaming. "I think you might've saved me this time, Hinata."

____________________________

As they sampled and slurped each new flavor over dinner, sharing bites and commenting at which ones they liked best, Naruto remembered the one thing that's been weighing in the back of his mind. He remembered, because he was having fun, and there might come a day when he can't have fun with her like this.

"Where're you going for high school?" he asked.

Hinata slurped up the two noodles hanging daintily from her chopsticks before she put the cup down, her expression thoughtful. "Kurenai-san can't afford to give me the same education that she gave Neji, so my options are limited."

"What? That's not fair."

Hinata replied with a shrug and a smile. "It's not really fair on her, either. She just happened to be our next-door neighbor when it happened. She didn't have to take us in. And if she never knew us and what we were going through, she never would have. You could say we were lucky and she was unlucky--"

"If she really felt that way, then you wouldn't still be here and Neji wouldn't have seen graduation. The way you're thinking of it is completely wrong."

"Did you wish I hadn't come home?"

Naruto pulled back. "Huh?"

"Spending time with her may have been boring, but you were looking forward to something else. You can have the things you want when you don't have to share."

How did the conversation devolve like this? Where was all of this coming from?

"Hinata... Wherever you go, I'm going to go with you," As he said that, her head perked up, her wet eyes took him all in. "I think so, anyway. Everyone's staying here, so, I think I'd miss them a whole lot. I mean, making new friends is great and all, but I got a good thing going here. What about you?"

A chill inhabited her features, like she had just locked herself away in order to face him.

"I don't know."

"Aren't you in two clubs now that you're not deputy class rep anymore? What was it, bug-catching and dog grooming?"

Two interests that couldn't be more unrelated if it weren't for the fact that it was Hinata who was interested. She had that motherly nature about her. She loved to take care of things. Just like she chose to do now for him.

Hinata nodded lamely.

He slouched in chair, one arm draped over the back as he sighed in resignation. He wanted to hear words from her, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen. He glanced in her direction and his dismay edged further into disappointment.

She kind of looked like Neji right now. Like back when him and Neji were bitter and small. Hinata looked like a blizzard raging inside a snow globe.

He has to stick close to her, make sure she's alright at all times. But right now, he was failing. Right now, he couldn't see what was attacking her.

AN: Oof, short-ass chapter. 1200 words. 😅 Felt like a good jumping off point though, I think it'd be good if the next chapter were from Hinata's perspective. I think I'll definitely combine this chapter and the first one into a single chapter for AO3 and FFN when this is all done.

btw I hate doing summaries. I always feel like I'll end up writing something completely different, rendering it all lies. Lies, I say! 😲

#naruhina fanfiction #naruhina #asynchronous with you fanfiction #chapter 2 #foster sibling au

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 3 years

Text

Chapter Six.

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 13.8k

WARNINGS: sexual content

come talk to me about wtsgd! i’d love to know your thoughts!

January 4, 2018

With every article of clothing that flew from the closet, Harry neatly folded each piece as he laid them flat in Luci’s suitcase. He remained seated on her beige rug, leaning against the side of her bed with an open luggage that was sat next to him as he intently listened to her ramble nervously about the new adventure she was about to take on.

Luci had a flight tomorrow morning that was quite early for her own liking, and she was just now packing her belongings. To be fair, she had been busy meeting Samantha for extra discussions about work, and she even met her new manager, Thea, who had been so excited to meet her and manage her. Thea was a forty-two-year-old woman who had quite the experience in being a Hollywood manager. Her and Samantha were a dream-team, as they would like to call themselves, for a few years now and they’d managed to raise the newest stars up on the Hollywood sign itself. Their work was promising, and Luci put her trust and her career in the hand of the two women.

For the past three days, Harry and Luci had been spending as much time with each other. They were saddened to be together for only three days, which was the exact amount of time they’d officially been in a relationship. But they were making the most of their time with making dinners together and sleepovers since that was the only available time Luci had since she had been so busy during the day. Harry was lucky school wasn’t back in session yet so he could put his full attention on Luci.

Once her luggage was filled with all different types of clothing and shoes, Harry closed it for her, rolling it over next to the front door before grabbing the duffel bag he lent her and dropping it next to the luggage. It was nearing ten at night and Luci had to leave for the airport at four in the morning since Thea had booked her flight for six because she was going straight to the studio to meet the rest of the cast and do table readings.

Harry found Luci leaning against the countertop with her back towards him. He could tell just how tense she was because of her anxiety and nerves that were boiling in her body; her shoulders seemed like they were frozen because of how tense she was, and he knew her neck started to ache because she kept rolling her head around to relieve the pain. All he wanted her to do was relax, and he could only do so much to help her ease the nerves.

He’d learned that Luci’s love language was words of affirmation, indicating that she needed constant reassurance. It seemed fitting because as an actress, she always wanted feedback on her work; plus, she was always one for needing validation for every single thing she was proud of. And Harry seemed like the perfect guy to give her that reassurance because he loved uplifting her mood, hyping her up, and making her happy.

Pressing his chest against her back, he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin against her shoulder. His hands rubbed her lower stomach, and just the mere touch had made her relax as she loosened up in his arms; he held her up tightly so she wouldn’t have to anymore.

“You okay, baby?” He asked, knowing it was a dumb question, but he always wanted to make sure.

“Yeah, I’m alright. Just nervous,” she responded, even though he had already known.

He kissed her cheek, and Luci melted. “You’re gonna do amazing, I just know it. The producers were so impressed with you that they wanted you to be in their movie. No one could deny your talent, Ci, I can promise you that. You’re fucking marvelous.” He had said the exact words that Luci needed to hear; she smiled, caressing his tattooed arm with her soft hand.

“Thank you, baby.” She turned her head to the side, meeting his lips before planting an appreciative kiss for all that he had done for her.

“C’mon, wanna show you something.” He unwrapped his arms, making her turn around suspiciously before leading her into her bedroom.

On her bed was a photo album that had a brown leather exterior with black trimmings to protect the edge of the book. They both sat on the edge of the bed as they looked down at the front of the album.

“This is just a little something that I thought you would appreciate,” Harry said before handing it to her.

Luci slowly opened it to the first page of the album. Taped on a thick white construction paper was the Playbill booklet of the show, along with Harry’s ticket that he purchased next to it; at the bottom had the date of the night Luci had performed for the first time in Harry’s handwriting. On the back of the first page was every single good review everyone had to say about Luciana Suki. The reviews were cut out into strips as he tried to fit as many reviews as he possibly could on the square paper. When Harry was glueing the reviews on them, he left out about ten critics because they simply couldn’t fit on the paper; a sense of proudness had washed over him because Luci was just a likeable person along with her amazing talent—no one could not like her,

Flipping the clear plastic sheet protector, the next page was Halloween, where Harry printed the pictures Nina had taken of them. He did not forget to write at the bottom of the page that it was Luci who had asked him out, along with the date. They both laughed once they read it because it was a memory they simply would never forget.

On the back of the Halloween page was their first date. They had taken a selfie in front of the sunset, moments before their first kiss, capturing their well-spent day together. Along with their picture was the fair food Harry had taken, imitating a food blogger; a picture of Luci with wide eyes, staring into the camera as she took a bite of her food. Harry had smiled, heart fluttering after he’d taken the picture.

The last page was recent; the day Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. He’d managed to make a copy of the photobooth strips since he wanted to keep the real ones on hand. The date he asked her was written in between the third and last picture as those were the exact moments he’d asked her and she said yes.

The scrapbook was the most sentimental and thoughtful gift Luci had ever received; the time and effort Harry had put into making the entire thing showed within his creative scrapbooking skills, and it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever given her.

“Harry…” her eyes were blurry from the tears, threatening to fall out.

“This’ll be our little memory book. I know it’s very early in our relationship, but I just want you to know how much you mean to me, and that I’ll look back on these memories and smile because we had the best times. And I’ll keep this going and fill it with all future memories and your accomplishments because I’m so incredibly proud of you.” He delicately took her face into his hands as if he was holding a piece of art as he caressed her soft cheek with his thumb. Luci’s tears had hit his finger, overwhelmed with how much adoration and admiration Harry was giving her.

“Thank you. I…adore you so much.”

Far too early to say those three words, she settled for the second closest thing that verbally told him how she felt, but her feelings were just as close to the real thing, no matter if it was too early or not.

Harry blushed. “I adore you, too.”

Just like her, he felt those three words swimming on the tip of his tongue. His heart was beating unbelievably fast for how early their relationship was, and he made no effort into slowing down his heartbeat because he quite liked how she had that affect on him.

Gently, she connected her lips with his. They kissed and swirled their tongues together as the electric spark ignited inside of them. Luci held onto him as tight as she possibly could, savoring his presence, his touch, his closeness since she would go months without any of those things.

He pulled away from their intense and passionate kisses, making Luci pout and he quickly pecked her lips, kissing her frown away.

“Can I show you how much I adore you?”

The question had caught her off-guard. “You wanna…”

“Only if you’d let me. I wanna take care of you,” he said genuinely. It didn’t take Luci long to nod yes. “Let me hear you say it. Please, I need your words.” Harry pleaded.

She looked at him intently before she softly said, “Take care of me, Harry.”

Her words only brought him relief before he kissed her cheek and pushed at her shoulder to lie back. Luci got comfortable as she laid in the middle of the bed; Harry had moved his lips down to her neck, kissing and nibbling at her skin but not hard enough to leave a mark. She softly moaned at the feeling; his lips had affected her quite a lot, and it always left her wondering what else he could possibly do with those pink lips of his and she was finally going to find out.

Harry settled in between her legs, which she was quick to welcome him. He was hovering over her, kissing every bit of exposed skin that he saw as his hands were toying with the hem of her sweater.

“Can I take this off?” He asked, referring to her sweater.

“Yes.” She nodded.

Harry lifted her sweater, chills entered her skin as her warm sweater was taken away from her and thrown to the side of the bed. The newest bit of skin that he hadn’t seen only made him want to kiss every inch of her, to learn and memorize every crevice and dip of body. Eagerly, he kissed the valley and tops of her breasts.

“You’re so beautiful, Luciana,” he complimented. There was something about Harry telling her that she was beautiful and adding her full name with it that made her feel like snow on a warm day; she had melted entirely just by his statement.

He took her hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking and pulling at it. Luci’s hand met his hair, scratching his scalp lightly as she let out soft breaths of air. Kissing down her body, her eagerness heightened as she subconsciously bucked her hips slightly into his torso as she felt Harry smirk against her stomach.

“Don’t laugh,” she said, looking down at him. Harry looked up as her elbows were slightly propped up against the bed with a smile that matched his.

“Not gonna laugh, baby.”

“Okay…” she dragged out, her tone teasing.

Continuing, he kissed the skin above the hem of her leggings before he asked if he could take them off, and she said yes. Kneeling on the bed, he took off her dark grey leggings as her legs went straight up; she was left in her cotton nude underwear, and Harry felt like he could come on the spot. He’d truly never seen someone so beautiful until he met Luci, and his admiration for her had only increased.

“Stunning. Gorgeous. Every fucking synonym for the word ‘beautiful.’” He was amazed by her beauty, and he clearly wasn’t afraid to let her know. He loved the way she looked when she was shy and flustered, and when her cheeks would heat up too much for her own liking. But Harry thought she was absolutely adorable when she was feeling those emotions.

“Harry, you’re too sweet.”

“Mm, and I bet you are too?” He raised his brows, a smug smile appeared on his face. Luci bit one side of her bottom lip before she licked her lips.

“Then why don’t you hurry up and taste for yourself.” In all honesty, she was impatient, and she was eager to feel his mouth against her.

Harry chuckled, grabbing one of her ankles as he pressed a kiss to it, trailing his lips along the inside of her legs. He felt the goosebumps that had pricked her legs, and he loved having that sort of affect on her. Once he got to her thigh, he put her leg down and laid on his stomach in between her legs before proceeding to kiss up her thighs.

Satisfaction was handed to him when he heard Luci heavily breathing through her nose due to his heavy and teasing kisses when he hadn’t even touched her where she wanted it the most.

“Baby, please.” Luci’s tone was desperate as her arousal only increased, anticipating the relief she was going to feel once he touched her core.

“Alright, alright. Since you said ‘please.’” He removed her underwear and dragged them off her legs. The sight and scent of her only salivated his mouth, only ready to devour and pleasure her to the fullest. His blood had rushed below his waist, slightly straining against his sweatpants. “Fuck, aren’t you a sight.” Luci felt shy and intimidated under his stare, causing her to close her legs, but he was quick to stop her before she closed them all the way. “No need to go shy on me, Ci. Just admiring your beauty because you’re absolutely marvelous.” She thanked him, a small smile found her face. “Now, can I please get a taste?” He asked once more.

“Yeah, make me feel good.”

He kissed the crevice of where her thigh and vulva met before he licked her clit. A spark was sent through her body as he continued licking, sucking her sensitive bud into his mouth, pulling back slightly.

The feeling of his mouth on her was everything she ever hoped for. She had been so stressed about the changes that were happening quite quickly that made her feel on edge and extra needy. Especially when Harry was her boyfriend, looking extra good, she was particularly eager to jump his bones.

“Mm, yeah, like that.” She moaned out, bucking her hips against his mouth as the tip of his tongue rimmed around her entrance, collecting and tasting her arousal.

“Taste so good, fuck. Could be down here for hours,” he said before he boldly licked a long stripe from her weeping hole to her clit.

He took his thumb and rubbed the bud, making her jolt because of how sensitive she was already while taking his middle finger, lubricating it with her wetness before inserting it into her hole. He pumped in and out, curled his finger, and caressed her walls, all while slowly rubbing her clit in circles. Harry earned a throaty moan, and since his hands were occupied, he finally had a moment to really look at her and take in her appearance on what he was doing to her.

His beautiful girlfriend had her legs wide open with her back arched. She let out a string of moans and a series of curses as she placed her hands on her tits, kneading the flesh and playing with her nipples to only add to her sensitivity and pleasure.

Harry was rock hard once he had a taste of her, but seeing her playing with herself, touching herself was the cherry on top. As if he could help it, he bucked his hips against the edge of the mattress as he let out a soft moan of relief, even though he’d rather have Luci touch him herself.

“Harry. Harry. Harry.” She chanted as if it were the last and only thing she knew. His name off her tongue sounded like poetry—so sultry, so sensual, and so seductive. He never wanted another person to say his name again because for all he knew, Luci had possession of it.

“C’mon, baby. Get there. Get there for me, yeah?” He never once stopped his movements, and he would beat himself up over it if he did.

“Another…finger.” Luci requested, and he complied. Adding his index finger right next to his middle, he curled both of them up in sync, hitting the soft part of her upper walls and her g-spot.

He relentlessly hit her sweet spot over and over again, and it had Luci moaning loudly; her sounds bounced off the walls of her room, going straight to Harry’s ears. Just as Luci was, he was on the edge as well; he continued rutting his hips against the mattress and wanted to release so badly, but he was waiting for Luci’s pleasure to wash over her.

Replacing his thumb that was rubbing her clit so graciously with his tongue, he flicked his tongue up and down in a fast motion as he kept fingering her. She was quick to respond to the change as she tightened around his finger.

“When you’re ready, baby, come for me.”

Those were just the words that she needed to hear; her breaths were staggered as they were caught in her throat. For a moment in between the anticipated orgasm she’d been waiting for, she looked down at Harry because she knew that with just one look at him, she would combust. And when she did, Luci met his jaded eyes that were looking so hopeful for her release, like he was hungry for it. Her mouth fell open, disconnecting her vision from Harry as she threw her head back onto the pillow while her orgasm had tickled her skin into a toe-curling, back-arching, and loud-moaning pleasure that took her breath away.

The rough tugs of Harry’s hair from Luci’s hands and the taste of her orgasm on his tongue only gave him the release that he was working for. He moaned against her core as the vibrations were sent through her body, making her shake. Harry’s hips slowed its movements as he breathed heavily through his nose, licking and tasting every drop that Luci had to offer him.

Harry rested his head against Luci’s thigh; they both were catching their breaths from their orgasm as soft huffs came from their mouths. She propped her elbows up and looked down at the gorgeous man below her who was pressing kisses to her inner thigh. Running a hand through his hair, Harry looked up and she gave him a sweet smile. He crawled onto the bed, still in between her legs as he propped down onto her chest; Luci giggled at his adorableness.

“You’re…,” she couldn’t finish her sentence as her orgasm made her speechless. Harry planted his elbows next to her, coming face-to-face with Luci before pressing a kiss to her lips. She could taste herself on him as she swirled her tongue with his. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, anywhere, Ci. I should be thanking you, though.” Luci tilted her head in confusion. “I, uh, seemed to have taken care of myself also,” he said bashfully as her eyebrows raised. So, that’s what all the moaning and heavy breathing was about, she said to herself. “I’m sorry, that’s kinda embarrassing-”

“No.” She immediately stopped him. “That’s not embarrassing at all. That’s actually pretty fucking hot.” She reassured, the corner of her lips turning up.

“Really?” He’d never came before while eating someone out, but he’d been so captivated by her sounds and her taste that he couldn’t help but let himself go.

“Hell yeah, baby.” She placed a hand on his cheek, pulling him in for a kiss. Their kiss didn’t deepen or lead to anything more than just sweet affection; it was enough to ease all of Harry’s worries away.

Once they giggled and shared a few kisses, they cleaned up and refreshed themselves for bed. Harry’s ability to make her feel incredibly good had made her forget that she had a flight to catch early in the morning; and it would take her away from Harry for four months. Her sadness and anxiousness had begun to settle once they finally got comfortable under the covers—more so, Harry was comfortable as Luci was anxious.

Despite the dreamy orgasm, her body was tense against him, and he’d felt it easily. He turned his head to look at her, and her mind was present; she stared up at the ceiling, toying with her fingers as she rolled her foot in circles, her ankles occasionally cracking once they returned to the starting point.

“Hey,” Harry broke her away from her thoughts; Luci looked up at him. “You okay?”

She nodded, though he could still sense her unsureness. “Just sad…nervous,” she admitted.

Harry lowered himself on the bed so he could be leveled to where she was laying. They shared a pillow, which they’d done plenty of times and left no room for the ‘cold side of the pillow.’ But it was intimate and sweet, and a mix of both their scents combined.

“Tell me what you’re thinking?” He asked softly.

Luci took a deep breath before she started. “Everything’s happening so fast, and it’s making me nervous. I-I just don’t want things to completely change.”

“Nothing’s gonna change, Ci. And if it does, it’ll be for the better. Your career is gonna take off and you’re gonna star in so many amazing films and shows. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Yeah…” The one thing on her mind had been bugging her for the past few days, and it drove her up the wall once she thought about it too much. But the only way for her to put her gear into reverse and come down from that wall was to tell him the truth. “I don’t want anything to change between us.”

If he was being honest, Harry had thought about that quite a bit. Hell, he’d thought about it even before he asked her to be his girlfriend and when they were just friends. He had thought about how when Luci was famous, their relationship and friendship was bound to change. Would they still be together? Would they still be friends? Would she forget about him and forget about their time that was spent together? So many questions had scrambled in his brain that all of the overthinking thoughts felt so familiar to him.

But he wasn’t going to spew out every single one.

Instead, he kept an optimistic attitude about their relationship.

“Nothing’s gonna change, alright? We’re gonna get through this. And if things do change, we’ll work together to adjust to it,” he reassured, although he was unsure himself. He didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire Luci had in her head at the moment because that would only make things worse. Plus, she had a flight to catch early in the morning, and she really needed to rest now.

His words seemed to calm her mind down, and she was grateful that one of them was stable enough to comfort the other. So, she nodded, taking what he said to heart. They were gonna get through this, and she put her whole faith on them.

She murmured a ‘thank you,’ feeling too tired to talk any more as it seemed her head had exhausted her. She got comfortable next to Harry, tucked away in his side as her fists huddled up the material of his sweater, wrinkling the area. Harry rubbed her back, soothing his girlfriend for a little before hearing snores, thankful that she was able to sleep with no trouble.

He lied awake in a complete daze as the only thing on his mind was Luci and how amazing she was without the complete knowledge that their relationship was definitely going to change.

It had been two weeks since Luci left for California, and Harry had never felt more alone in his life, not even during the times before he met Luci. He knew it would only get better with time, but he’d gone months talking and seeing her almost everyday until this moment.

She made sure to text him whenever she got the chance to, which he was relieved about. Her texts had always provided a sense of comfort and happiness to him whenever he saw her name on his phone. Each greeting was filled with excitement and longing. Whenever it just so happened that Harry was busy and Luci was available, she’d text him ‘I miss you,’ along with other types of messages that practically begged Harry to get a glance at his phone to see who was blowing up his phone.

Their new long-distance relationship was unfamiliar as neither of them had ever been in one before. It was unspoken how they handled it, besides from the basic ‘call or text me when you get the chance.’ However they knew they’d face the problem head-on together.

“Alright, everyone, hope you all have a great and safe weekend!” Harry announced once the loud bell rang before them. “Make sure to catch up on all your readings, please. You know who you are,” he said in a teasing tone.

He sat down in his black chair that swiveled and reclined, great for his back; a few of his students had asked him a few questions about their essays once he sat down, which he was happy to help and glad to see that they were using their time to ask him questions. He said ‘goodbye’ to the last student who was exiting his classroom and wished him a ‘happy Friday.’

Pulling out his phone from the top drawer of his desk, he smiled as his phone lit up, seeing a message from Luci that was sent thirty minutes ago.

Finished with table reading :) Might go for some drinks with the cast. Hope class is doing well!

Quickly, he typed back. His fingers seemed to take over, hoping she’d see his message before she puts her phone down for another few hours.

Hi, baby. Just finished with class and gonna head home in a bit. Are you up for a call later tonight? No worries if you can’t and you’re out. x

Harry set his phone down once he didn’t see the bubble pop up as he looked at their message thread for two minutes. He figured he could get some grading done and impute the student’s grades into the system so he could distract himself and make use of his time.

Every five minutes, he would pick up his phone, and once he saw that there was no text from Luci, he’d put it face down and get back to work. He did that for the next two hours, and ended up staying until four, grading papers and constantly checking his phone.

A knock on his classroom door had made him whip his head towards it, finding his colleague standing in the doorframe.

“Not going home any time soon?” Carina, one of the math teachers, crossed her arms and smiled a bit. She was one of the first teachers Harry had made friends with and one of the closest in the school. She’d been working at the middle school for three years and had introduced Harry to the staff once he started teaching. Harry had to admit, he had the slightest bit of crush on Carina as her red hair and green eyes seemed to attract him.

They hung out a few times, mostly inside one of their classrooms during lunch. Harry even developed the tiniest crush on her, only because Carina was a new person in his life and she was quite nice.

There had been one Friday where Harry invited her to his apartment, and they popped a bottle of wine and talked and drank. She was nice, Harry thought. But the wine had gotten the best of both of them and they soon found their lips pressed against one another. Harry thought it was nice to kiss someone, but as Carina pulled his hair and stuck her tongue into his mouth, he realized that his crush for her had disappeared instead of heightening as it was supposed to. So, he stopped her by pulling back, explaining that they couldn’t do that anymore and that he was sorry. He truly didn’t want to lead her on. Luckily, she was understanding and told him that she was going to head home.

But to his surprise on her way out, they ran into Luci who was just unlocking her door from a night out. On the inside, he was freaking out because his new neighbor had caught him red-handed—the neighbor he thought was incredibly beautiful. And he found himself completely drawn to her, pushing his feelings for Carina out of his body and welcoming the new profound feelings he had for his neighbor.

“Uh, I’m not sure yet,” he answered.

“Okay, well, since it’s still early, I was wondering if you’d like to hang out?” She asked confidently. Carina had always been quite confident and was a people person. Harry, on the other hand, wasn’t so much a talker when it came to new people; it really depended on that person’s vibe.

He weighed his options in his head. He so badly wanted to talk to Luci tonight, or whenever he got the chance, and he was afraid that whenever she did text back, he’d be hanging out with Carina and not giving her his undivided attention because he hated being on his phone when hanging out with someone.

“Uh, maybe next time? Sorry, I’ve been-”

“No, it’s okay. I get it, you don’t have to explain. Have a good weekend, Harry.” She smiled, although he could sense the defeat from rejection inside before she walked down the hall and away from his classroom.

Harry felt bad, honestly. He didn’t like disappointing people or making them feel like what Carina probably felt. But he just hoped that his rejection still made them friends because he wasn’t really close to anyone in the teaching staff.

A big yawn took over him for a moment as he stretched his back and arms into the air before he decided it was time to go home. He hadn’t had much plans after Luci left, seeing as most of his plans for the weekend involved her, and he hoped that he could at least hear a snippet of her voice tonight to help fill the void of her presence.

But when Harry got into bed at eleven at night, he’d lost hope, and would try again tomorrow. It was minutes of tossing and turning, not finding the right position for his liking. So, he accepted his discomfort and laid on his stomach, arms and legs spread across the mattress. After a few moments of lying in silence, his phone began to vibrate against his bedside table. He looked at his phone that was face down on the wooden table, the slightest bit of light shining from the edges. Sighing, he decided to take a look at who might be calling him, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Luci’s contact picture and name plastered all over the screen.

Quickly, he pressed the green button to answer. “Hello?”

“Harry!” She said loudly against the speaker phone. He could hear chatter around her and utensils hitting the glass plates, so he assumed she was at a restaurant.

“Hi, love. How are you?”

“I’m good.” She dragged the word ‘good’ out, giggling at the end of it. Luci had been drinking for a few hours now, casually sipping her drink that was barely enough to get her fully drunk as everyone was talking amongst themselves and eating. But one of her cast members had bought continuous rounds of tequila shots, so she was now to the point of drunk—tripping over her step, finding everything funny, and wanting to talk to her boyfriend. “I miss you.”

“I miss you more, love. I’m so happy I get to speak to you, even if it’s just for a moment,” he said honestly. He truly believed that not talking to Luci up until he slept at night was the reason why he was up, completely sleepless.

“Me too. I’m sorry I didn’t text you back…” she said softly as she stood in the middle of the hallway of the restaurant that led to the restrooms.

“No worries. I’m glad you’re having a great time, though. That’s all that matters to me is that you’re happy.” His genuinity made her eyes full with tears. She wasn’t usually someone one who cried when she was drunk, but just hearing Harry’s voice and not being physically next to him made her emotional. Sue her.

“I am having a great time. Just wish you were here.”

“Me too.”

“Miss everything about you.”

Harry smiled, laying on his back with one of his arms propped behind his head. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. Missed your hugs, your kisses, your eyes, your lips. Swear, they’re the best lips I’ve ever kissed.” Her voice was low, not wanting the people who passed her to hear what she was saying for Harry only

He couldn’t help but blush at her flirting. Even over the phone and on the other side of the country, she still managed to make him blush while his heart flipped.

“Well, now you’re just flattering me, baby.” His accented voice that was crackled through the phone had sent a chill down her spine, making her bite her lip as she leaned against the wall.

“I’m being serious!” She exclaimed, talking over the loud clatter of plates and glasses as the restaurant was cleaning up for closing.

“What else do you miss about me?” Now, he was just teasing. It stroked his ego to hear her tell him everything she’d missed about him; it made him feel good inside.

“Missed…” she paused for a moment as she was unsure if she should say such a thing in public.

“C’mon, tell me, Ci,” he encouraged. His tone was pleading, and if she were right in front of him and not across the country, he’d be on his knees in front of her just by how he presented his words.

“Missed you between my legs.” She curled his lips into her bite, preventing herself from biting her lip as she might accidentally seduce someone that passed by.

Harry smirked. “Yeah? What do you miss about that?” He heard her sigh, and he knew that she was trapped under his spell that he’d miraculously casted from New York. With that certain memory, he constantly thought about it. The sounds she made. The way she tasted. How she felt in his hold. It made sure she was tattooed in his mind.

“Missed how you made me feel good; how your mouth and fingers felt inside of me.” Her voice itself was enough to get Harry’s cock to twitch inside of his sweatpants as it was extra raspy because she was trying her hardest to keep her volume at a low level. Now, she couldn’t stop confessing everything she missed about him, and who was Harry to tell her to stop? “I miss the way you would lick me, how you would tease me a little even though it drove me insane. I missed the way your hair felt between my fingers, and when you would moan because I pulled at them roughly. I, especially, miss the way you made yourself feel good and how you came just from seeing me come. That was my favorite part of that night.”

She crossed one of her legs over the other as she squeezed her thighs together. Her words had given her blinks of flashbacks from their last night together; and oh, how she so badly wanted to make that moment last. Harry was fully hard underneath his pants, and he tried his hardest not to relieve the straining pain.

“Fuck, baby. You have no idea how much I miss you.”

“Promise me you’ll show me once we’re together again,” she demanded, and a smug smile appeared on his face.

“That’s definitely a promise, Luciana.”

There he goes again with her full name, Luci thought. Before she was about to respond, she saw the group get up from their chairs from her peripheral view.

“I’m looking forward to it, baby. I-I gotta go.” Their chat had sobered her up just a tad bit, and the wetness of her panties had slightly woken her up, wishing Harry was there to take care of her.

“Alright, love. Get back safely, please, and text me when you get back to the house,” he requested softly, not necessarily wanting to know her every location but to know if she’s safe.

“Will do. I…adore you.”

Harry smiled. “I adore you so much more.”

With that, they hung up. Luci said goodbye to her coworkers before getting into an Uber to Thea’s home, where she would be staying for the time being; and Harry relieved himself by touching and making his hard-on go away with the thought of Luci in his head and how she tasted, which made him realized that he was going to need another taste of her so she wouldn’t disappear on his tongue,

After three weeks of rehearsals and getting to know each cast member and crew on set, Luci was exhausted. Ocean’s Eight was mostly going to be filmed in LA, where the production had a set built, but she anticipated the two to three days where she gets to be in New York to film in the Met Museum. So, being in the same state as Harry only excited her further.

It hadn’t even been a month yet nor had they even begun shooting for the film, but getting through table reading, rehearsals, and an entire run-through of how the movie was going to be filmed was taking a toll on her physical health. She felt like she hadn’t slept properly, or had gotten a good amount of sleep ever since she left New York; and mentally, she was missing her family and Harry.

Her family had always made sure to check in with her to see how she was doing because just like Luci, they shared the same excitement for the first movie she was acting in and missed her dearly. She continued to make contact with Harry, but it wasn’t as much as she would like to. Work had been so busy for her that whenever they started to have a decent conversation other than the usual ‘hi’ and ‘how are you?’, her break would be over and she would have to walk away from her phone, which was the closest she’d been to Harry in three weeks.

It was almost five in the evening on a Wednesday night when everyone had wrapped up for the day. Sighs of relief were heard through everyone as they all knew that rehearsals were over and sometime within the next few days, they were going to start shooting.

Luci packed up her belongings, taking an extra water bottle for the road before she said goodbye to everyone and headed out of the studio. It was a chilly evening as the soft winds brushed past her while she quickly made her way to her car that she’d rented out. The white Honda Civic keeping her safe on the roads of Hollywood was nothing like the subways of New York, but it was a nice change since she hadn’t driven in a while. One thing she absolutely hated about driving in LA was the traffic and the aggressive drivers in said traffic; and all Luci could do was groan, saying that they weren’t going nowhere with that kind of traffic. It’s always the Prius drivers who’re reckless, she thought.

Just as she was about to get inside the car, one of the producers, Jane, had called out for her, catching her before she drove away.

“Hey, Jane. What’s up?” Luci rolled down her window.

Jane took a deep breath, catching her breath. “I’m glad I caught you before you left. This is the new schedule for next week with all the scenes that are scheduled for each day. You’ll start filming in a week, so you have a small break. So, you’ll come back here for a few days to film a few scenes as needed, and then, we’ll be off to New York, and back here again.” She explained.

With her eyes wide, Luci took the freshly printed schedule that had a calendar outline until the end of April. Jane had highlighted her scenes, in which she’d have to go on set, and it seemed like she was booked until April.

They talked a bit more about some scenes, and Jane let her know that she may need to be on set even if she wasn’t filming but her actual start date for shooting was a week from now. They bid each other ‘goodbye’ as Jane told her that she’d see her next week, and Luci had a surge of happiness rush through her as she headed back to her temporary home for the next few months.

Unlocking the front door, Luci stepped into the dark hallway as she immediately kicked off her shoes and hung her coat in the closet right across the front door. She quietly tiptoed to her room down the hall, her feet covered in fuzzy brown socks that padded along the wooden floor as she made her way straight to the bathroom to shower off the long day she had. The scalding hot water hit her skin as she washed her scalp and used her coconut-cream body scrub that she’d been using for years, lathering up the suds and spreading it on her skin.

Once she finished in the bathroom, she headed over to her bedroom, pulling the soft pink comforter back before she laid down on the mattress as a breath of relief took over. She shifted towards the left side of the bed, towards the figure that was sleeping on her side; the familiar scent engulfed her senses.

She pressed her chest against his back, wrapping her arm around his waist as she placed a soft kiss to his neck that was exposed from his t-shirt. Her worries had washed away once she took him in her arms; the amount of comfort she found was astonishing, but she was grateful for that comfort.

He shifted and turned around in her arms, making her pull back a little bit as to not wake him from his slumber. He was now face-to-face with her, eyes closed as his eyelashes fanned out against the top of his soft cheekbones while soft breaths puffed out of his mouth. Carefully, she pushed back his floppy hair that had landed in his face, and she admired more of his beauty.

After a few moments, he moved once more but this time he felt a pair of arms around him, making him jolt as a way to wake himself up. Luci stared at him with an amusing smile on her face as she watched him wake up to realize that she was in front of him.

Blinking a few times, his vision cleared and what he saw struck him—he felt like he was dreaming, though he's not complaining if this was a dream.

“Luci?”

“Hi, Harry.” She responded, a smile plastered on her face as her eyes glossed, from what he could see in the dark room.

“W-What are you doing here?” He leaned against his elbow, slightly sitting up to fully wake himself, testing to see if this really was a dream.

“Came to see you.” Luci simply stated, brushing the side of head. Harry’s eyes were droopy, confused, and still sleepy.

“But…how-”

“Shh, we’ll talk when we wake up again, okay? It’s, like, five in the morning.” Harry had no energy to protest, but he also didn’t want to sleep because if this was an actual dream, and the next time he woke up again and Luci wasn’t holding him, then he would be very sad and disappointed.

As the minutes passed by, the two found themselves laying together and looking at one another; neither of them spoke a word as they basked in the silence and beauty and elegance they found in each other. The moonlight hanging far up in the sky and the distant lights from the city as a few people were getting an early start of their day was seeping through the curtains of the small window in Luci’s bedroom.

And this moment, dream or not, they held each other tight as they let exhaustion and sleep take over them.

The next time he woke up, Harry woke up in a frantic, gasping for air as his lungs shook him awake, begging to breathe. He looked over at the window, seeing that it wasn’t dark anymore but it was bright out in the cold and blue atmosphere. Recollecting his dream, he turned his head to the space beside him but there was no one next to him; the sheets were wrinkled and cold as he must’ve shifted around a lot in his sleep.

The time read 10:23 a.m on the bedside table. There was a moment of panic because it was a school day, but he remembered that he took the day off and called a substitute teacher in advance.

Groaning, he rubbed his eyes, grabbing the large glass of water on the bedside table before chugging the entire thing to fulfill his thirst. He walked to the kitchen to grab some more water until he saw his girlfriend in a wrinkled Whitney Houston tour t-shirt and some sweats as she flipped a pancake on the stove. Luci was swaying her hips, humming a tune, and Harry realized that she had earphones in, so she hadn’t heard him walk in. He stood still for a moment, wondering if this was another dream, but he wanted to act upon his thoughts where he would attack her with hugs and kisses, but disappointment would seep through him once he realized it actually was a dream.

But this wasn’t a dream. He wasn’t blissfully in his slumber, dreaming about his girlfriend. This was very real. The sharp sting of his fingers pinching his arm had reddened his fragile skin; he purposely bumped his elbow against the wall, hitting his funny bone as he bent down in hysterical pain; he gently slapped himself a few times until he realized this was all real.

Finally, the corners of his lips turned up as he walked to stand behind Luci. He placed the glass on the counter in front of her, making her jump as she turned around, pressing her lower back against the edge of the white countertop. She took out her earphones, setting them aside as she smiled, finally getting the chance to properly greet Harry.

“You’re here,” he said, bewildered at the thought. He turned the dial of the stove off before placing his hands on the edge of the counter, trapping her in his arms.

“Yeah, I’m here. Thought I said ‘hi’ to you when I got here, no?” She tilted her head as she looked up at him, running her hands up and down his arms; goosebumps enraptured on his skin. “Happy birthday,” she greeted; he thanked her, though he had almost forgotten it was his birthday. He hadn’t even checked his phone since he’d woken up as he was sure there would be plenty of texts from Anne, who was most likely getting emotional that her baby was getting older; and Gemma, who was having a blast that was turning twenty-eight since he always teased her for getting older. But the first thing he did was find Luci. “Oh, and happy one month.”

“How…”

Luci chuckled because he still seemed to have the same reaction when she’d arrived. “I was informed that I don’t start filming until next week. So, last night, right after rehearsals, I booked a flight out here to see you on my time off, just in time for your birthday.”

“Wow, I…” Harry was speechless. “If I’m being honest, I thought that was a dream. I was sad to see you weren’t in bed when I woke up.” He pouted dramatically.

Luci chuckled. “I’m sorry about that. For the new few days, I’ll make sure to stay a little longer until you wake up. Speaking of, I’m glad to see you made use of my spare key.” She raised her brows teasingly.

When she left three weeks ago, she’d given Harry a spare key to her place just in case anything happened, so he would have access to it. She also told him that he was allowed any time in her apartment whenever he felt like it, so a couple of times a week, he would let himself into her place and sleep in her bed. Her scent that was displayed all over the pillows and the entire apartment had brought him some sort of comfort, but her sweet fragrance couldn’t compare to her presence where he could wrap his arms around her body instead of a pillow and her comforter.

Harry smiled bashfully. “Well, you did say…”

“I know what I said, and I don’t mind it. I think it’s really adorable that you sleep here sometimes.” Luci pulled the sides of his t-shirt, bringing him forward so he was closer. “Now, can I get a proper kiss hello? I’ve missed you.”

He smirked, pressing his front against her before he took her face in the palms of his hands, leaning down as Luci tiptoed, they placed a loving and tender kiss to each other’s lips. Neither of them knew how they'd gone so long without the other’s touch because once they kissed each other, they couldn’t stop.

Everything seemed to align when they felt each other’s touch; the day seemed to get brighter, the birds chirped louder like they were singing a tune, and their admiration was stronger than ever. Every emotion and word was told through their kiss, and it was a kiss of longing and yearning. The pure desperation to compensate for the time that wasn’t spent kissing; a kiss that simply said ‘I missed you. Please don’t let me go this long without your lips.’

Matching swollen lips and a flustered state that was plastered on their faces seemed to be the theme of Luci and Harry’s reunion as they pulled back to catch some air. Harry quickly took her lips into his again before he bit down on her bottom lip, pulling back slightly, making a throaty moan escape from her, which ultimately caused Harry’s cock to bloat up.

“You can get more than just a kiss ‘hello.’” Harry muttered against her; Luci inhaled sharply. “I did promise you a little something once we were together again, right?” He challenged, a smug smile emerged on his face. His thumb caressed her cheeks, and she wrapped her hands around his wrists.

“You did.” She confirmed. “But it is your birthday, so I think I should take over today, no?” Her voice and words were doing everything right to his body. He felt every single word she spoke, and her sultry voice was going to be a broken record in his mind every single day. All he did was nod, not trusting his ability to speak. “Words, Harry, I need your words.” She’d said his words that he used when they were last together, when it was him who made her feel good.

“Yeah, take over, baby. Please.” He was completely under her spell, physically and mentally luring into her. Luci reached up to give him a brief kiss before she pulled his arm, leading him to her bedroom.

The back of thighs hit the edge of the bed, and she gently pushed at his chest so his back landed right in the middle of the mattress. She climbed onto the bed, legs astride his thighs as she began to kiss his neck, leaving a small hickey on his skin that he would admire until it faded. Playing with the hem of his shirt, she pulled away, giving him a devious smirk.

“Can I touch you?” She asked, looking so intently in his eyes.

He nodded. “Please.” His dreams and fantasy were coming to life as his mind had been filled with Luci’s body and touch when his nights were extra lonely. He didn’t need to fulfill himself with the minor satisfaction when Luci was prepared to do that for him as she lifted his shirt up, exposing his tattooed torso to her sight.

Harry took off his shirt, throwing it onto the floor before watching her become so immersed with his body. The permanent ink fascinated her, and she delicately touched the tattoos that were exposed to her eyes like it was a prized possession. Leaning down, she planted a kiss to the swallows on his collarbones, trailing down to the butterfly that was plastered on his stomach; Harry’s breath hitched as he felt himself get hard underneath her. She then licked down to his lower abdomen, where his happy trail lied between two ferns; and she opened her mouth and nibbled on the skin in between his laurel tattoos, making Harry internally groan at her tasteful teasing.

Running her fingers along the hem of his sweatpants, she asked him if she could take them off, to which he breathlessly responded: “Yes, please. Take everything off.”

His cock rested on his stomach while Luci took in his large size. Her mouth practically salivated at him; and she was eager to get him in her mouth, to get him inside of her. But she wanted to take her time to appreciate and admire his endeavours.

“You’re beautiful, Harry,” she complimented genuinely. Harry looked down at her, and just as he was about to thank her, her tongue licked the base to the tip of his needy cock, earning a loud exhale from him.

She slipped the head of his cock into her mouth, sucking and tasting the pre-come that had spilled out of the tip, swirling her tongue all around. Harry moaned, throwing his head back onto the mattress as he gripped the sheets harshly, wrinkling in his hands.

Luci took him into her mouth further, holding back the urge to gag. She breathed through her nose as she bobbed her head up and down while raking her fingernails on his torso, increasing and adding to the sensation.

“Fuck, Ci.” He breathed out, panting. The slightest bit of embarrassment took over him for a moment because he felt like he was on the edge of an orgasm; it had been way too long since he’d felt another person’s touch, another person’s mouth on him.

Pulling him out of her mouth, a string of saliva followed as it connected to her bottom lip and the middle of his cock. “Like that, hmm?” She asked, batting her eyelashes at him flirtingly.

“You have no idea…” he trailed off, burying his hands into her hair. He didn’t mean to rush her into blowing him again—all he wanted to do was touch her, and the closest thing was her head—but Luci took that as a sign to continue her movements again.

“Fuck my mouth.” She requested. Harry’s eyes widened, not expecting to hear that from her; but everyday, she surprised him. “Please. Want you in the back of my throat.” She was trying her hardest to take him further than she would like, but she couldn’t quite reach that point. “Think you deserve that, birthday boy.”

Harry inhaled sharply, containing his demeanor as a smirk landed on his mouth as he sat up, sitting on his knees. Luci’s feet were planted on the floor as her upper body was laying flat on the mattress

He leaned down so his mouth was next to her ear as he whispered, “Best birthday ever,” before giving her a quick kiss. Luci placed his dick back into her mouth, wrapping her lips around his tip as she waited for him to take over. Harry tangled his fingers into her hair before slowly bucking his hips forward as he slid into her mouth. Placing her hands on the back of his thighs, she pushed him further, urging him that he could go faster; Harry complied.

Harry felt like he was on top of the world, like nothing else mattered except for this moment right here. It was like he was in between the soft clouds that could be matched for the blanket and mattress underneath him; like he was looking down at the nature and beauty of the world conform to the beauty of Luci below him; like he was screaming at the top of his lungs his secrets for the world to hear, which corresponded to the filthy words he was spewing out and his loud moans that filled the room up; and it was like the world was screaming back at him, which was a wild Luci moaning around him, sending vibrations up his body.

He was feeling everything all at once.

And he fucking loved it.

When he pulled back to check on his girlfriend, she gasped for air. She had tears in her eyes—a few had streamed down her face—her lips were swollen, and her hair was a mess—and Harry absolutely loved it. Luci kissed up his body, meeting his lips as she gave him an eager and sloppy kiss. Their mouths connected, and he tasted himself on her tongue with the side of Luci. The best flavor ever.

“Want you so bad.” Harry managed to say between the heated kisses.

“Have at me.” She moved past him, laying down on the bed before she quickly stripped her clothes off, throwing it onto the floor where it landed next to Harry’s clothes.

“You sure? Thought you wanted to take over?” He smirked teasingly.

“Unless you wanna take over, I’m very sure.” She reached into her bedside drawer to grab a condom—an unopened pack of condoms and a bottle of lube. “Mind if we use lube? I know I’m pretty wet, but I don’t know if I’m that wet, and I want you inside of me already and I want it to feel good for the both of us.”

“Of course, baby. Whatever you need to feel comfortable, feel free to do it.” He kissed her reassuringly before smirking, wondering how long she’d been waiting for this moment.

He grabbed the foil packet, and rolled it onto his aching cock that was begging for a release. Grabbing the water-based lube, he squirted some of it onto his hand and rubbed it on his length before running his hand up and down her slit, and to her sensitive nub as he circled his finger, making her mewl. He settled in between her legs, placing his arms near her shoulders as he hovered over her, kissing her sweetly.

Asking her once more if she wanted to push through with it, she gave her consent, grabbing his dick before lining it up with her entrance. Harry slowly pushed in as Luci gasped at his size; he was stretching her out so well that tears pricked her eyes, the overwhelming invasion of his girth and length had made her pant.

Once he was fully in, Luci looked down in between them, seeing he was balls-deep inside of her; they both moaned in unison.

“Baby…you’re so big.” She squeezed around him, causing Harry to hiss, gripping her hips tightly. “Move, please. Need to feel you.” She couldn’t count the amount of times she’d dreamed and fantasized this moment; her fingers and her vibrator weren’t cutting it anymore.

He began to thrust; her arousal lubricated his dick even more as he smoothly slipped in and out of her. Leaning down, he took her breasts into his mouth, licking and sucking as his hand fondled the other before switching. Luci slipped her hand in between their bodies, touching and rubbing her throbbing clit; Harry smiled at the sight.

“You look so fucking pretty touching yourself, Ci. Making yourself feel good?” She nodded, closing her eyes as she threw her head back. “Am I making you feel good?” Harry’s thrusts began to quicken as his hips slammed against the back of her thighs. “Tell me.” An urgent praise needed to fill him, and her filthy words needed to be spoken.

“So good, H. Fuck…” she continued rubbing at her swollen nub as the tip of Harry’s cock brushed against her g-spot. “There. Right there. Please, don’t stop. You’re so fucking good.” She cried out into the air as he continued his movements, sweetly hitting her special spot. Unexpectedly, she grabbed one of his hands and wrapped it around her throat, covering his large with hers as they squeezed her neck together.

Harry felt like he could come right there and then at the sight of their hands wrapped around her neck. He felt her squeeze around him once more, making him groan.

“Pretty girl, Luciana. Can’t get enough.” Even in her filthy state, she still managed to get shy at his words, making him chuckle. “Don’t go shy on me now, baby. I’m fucking you, and now is the time you get shy?” He squeezed his thumb a little bit more into her skin, feeling her pulse point that was quickly pounding hard. He took his other hand and rubbed at her clit since she stopped due to all the sensations she was feeling at once. Luci began to involuntarily buck her hips, moaning louder than ever. “C’mon, Ci, give it to me.”

After a few more thrusts, a few more rubs, and a few more squeezes, she came so intensely that she saw stars. Part of it was because she was lightheaded, but her orgasm had washed over so powerfully that her body began to slightly convulse. Harry came into the condom a few moments after as a raspy groan filled the air.

Once they calmed down, Harry gently pulled out of her, taking off and throwing the condom away in the trash before he laid down beside Luci. He pulled her exhausted body to his chest, and they laid there for a moment, regaining their energy back before they could greet one another.

Luci was the first one to break the silence. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, baby. Happy one month.” He brushed her hair out of her face, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Happy one month. So many more to go.”

Harry smiled at her words. He felt a certain reassurance once she’d said that, like he wasn’t the only one feeling the intense and quick feelings that laid between them and their relationship because he truly felt like their relationship was for the long-haul, and she felt the exact same way—no matter if they’d only just started dating.

So many more to go.

“I have your gift,” Luci said, detangling herself from his arms. They’d been cuddling for the past twenty minutes, talking about random things that came to mind.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Harry sat up against the headboard as she opened her luggage, pulling out an burnt-orange knitted sweater.

“I should’ve wrapped it, sorry, but…” she handed the folded sweater to him. “Happy birthday.”

“This is so cute! I love it.” His fingers touched the soft material, observing the details and the stitching. “Thank you so much.” He held her hand, gently pulling at it so he could place a kiss to her lips.

“I’m glad. I’ve been knitting it since October, and finally got the chance to finish.” Harry’s eyes widened as he felt his heart swoon at the fact that she was doing something entirely sweet and thoughtful for him before they were even dating.

“I truly love it. Thank you, Ci. Your talents continue to surprise me.” Luci smiled, nodding her head as she thanked him. Looking at him with bright eyes, she saw the world within him. She was so insanely lucky that Harry was her boyfriend, the guy that she met the day she moved in; a certain fondness fell over her.

For Harry’s birthday and their one month celebration, he wanted to take Luci to his favorite Chinese restaurant called Tasty Plates, two blocks away—the restaurant that he bought food from for Luci’s birthday. He wore the sweater Luci gifted and made for him since he was quite excited to wear it one of his girlfriend’s creations.

Upon entering, Luci noticed a very friendly atmosphere as the employees chatted with their customers as if they’d known one another for years, which they probably had. The smell of fresh and authentic Chinese food filled her senses, and she could already feel how home-y this place was.

The restaurant was a self-seated restaurant, so Harry led her to one of the tables next to the wall that had frames upon frames of pictures and signatures of famous celebrities, athletes, and chefs that had the privilege of visiting the restaurant.

“You’re gonna be up there one day.” Harry interrupted the intent observing that she was doing to the wall.

“Hmm. You think so?”

Harry nodded his head as if it was the most overt belief. “Absolutely. Being on this wall is, like, equivalent to having a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I already know they’re gonna have a picture frame bigger than all the others because they’d want everyone to see your picture.”

Luci smiled, appreciating the sweet compliment as she reached across the glass table and held his hand. They chatted for a bit before one of the waitresses, who was also the owner, had taken their order. Kai, greeted Harry with a wide smile, glad that he was able to visit their restaurant. Harry introduced Luci to Kai, to which he earned a teasing expression from her; Kai practically knew almost every detail of Harry’s love life since the day he entered the restaurant, and Harry really didn’t mind—Kai provided him with some of her wiseful advice on relationships since she’d been in plenty of them in her time; but a piece of advice that really stuck to him was when she said ‘You’ll meet hundreds of people as you grow older, but you’ll know when you’ve met the right person. And if there’s anything that I’ve learned, it’s that when you have that person, don’t let them go because you’re going to regret it.’ Kai was speaking from personal terms, and she proceeded to tell Harry the story of when she met her husband, the co-owner of the restaurant, and how they went years without talking and loving, which were the most difficult years she’d ever went through.

And Harry carried that advice everywhere he went.

Kai brought out their food in a record-breaking time, saying that since Harry was her special customer, he got special treatment at the restaurant. The three joked around, laughing and teasing before Kai left their table, allowing them to eat. Luci excitedly told Harry everything about work—her cast members, famous actors and actresses along with producers that she’d met on set, and her upcoming schedule. She was glad to have someone to share this information with, aside from her family, and just the thought of telling Harry everything excited her.

“I’m pretty booked until the end of April…” she mentioned.

Harry looked down at his food before looking back up at her. He noticed a certain look that she carried, and it was a look of guilt. He placed his chopsticks on top of his bowl of rice before he grabbed her unoccupied hand, holding and caressing her skin.

“Talk to me,” he said softly. He didn’t want to assume what she was thinking; he’d rather hear her voice her thoughts.

“I feel bad, y’know. I mean, we just got together and we’re not even spending time with each other because it’s my fault-”

“Nothing is your fault,” he objected.

She looked at him sadly. “If you think about it, it kinda is. Harry, we’re spending our one month anniversary when we haven't seen each other in three weeks. What the actual fuck is that?”

“Well, I know you’re not going to quit the movie; plus, I wouldn’t let you.” He pauses for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows, mouth turning into frown as if a realization had just hit him. “Unless this was a mistake-”

“No!” She shook her head, and Harry immediately felt bad because she looked like she was about to cry. “This will never be a mistake. One of the best choices I’ve ever made when I asked you out.” She reassured him. “It’s just…we’re supposed to be in the honeymoon stage, y’know? How could we do that when I’m always working and on the other side of the country?”

Harry understood, he really did; and he didn’t know the way to answer her question since he didn’t know the answer himself, but he tried his best and said, “Well, then that just means when you come back home, we’ll still live through and be in the honeymoon stage four or five months from now.” And that answer seemed to satisfy her as she smiled, looking down at her lap as her cheeks heated.

Drifting away from the serious topic, they enjoyed the rest of their lunch by talking and laughing.

“What’s your mom like?” Luci asked, wanting to everything about him.

Harry’s heart fluttered. “Her name’s Anne. She’s great—one of the kindest women I’ve ever known.” Luci smiled as she listened to him talk about his mother. “She’s done a lot for me and Gemma, and even though we’re older now, she would do everything and anything for us all over again. That’s just the kind of person she is—selfless, kind, and definitely knows how to crack a joke or two.” He smiled at the memory of when he was a child and how his high-pitched laugh would come out when Anne would joke around.

“Is that where you get your love for jokes?”

“Definitely. Can’t say I have better jokes than her or else we’ll have a joke battle.” Luci laughed; she loved listening to him talk about his family. His face lit up every time, and he had a smile that replicated his childhood photos.

They talked for an hour before the conversations were coming to an end as a comfortable silence was washed over them. Kai brought out custard tarts, which she knew were Harry’s favorite Chinese dessert, that was on the house. They thanked Kai for their wonderful food, service, and for the dessert before Luci paid, tipping extra.

Kai told Harry that he’d better not be hiding Luci because she really liked her, and hoped that he would bring her back soon. Harry promised, even Luci said that she would visit even when Harry wasn’t with her, which made Kai very happy.

Back at Harry’s apartment, they ended up cuddling on his couch and eating ice cream together before he turned his body towards Luci and asked, “Can we talk about this morning?”

Luci turned her head towards him, raising her brows. “You mean when we had sex?” She wondered, and he nodded. So, she put her finished bowl of ice cream on the coffee table in front of them before giving him her full attention.

“I just wanted to know what you thought of it. Feedback is very much appreciated.” He smirked.

“Are you saying that so I could feed your ego more than I already do?” Luci teased.

“Maybe…”

She chuckled. “I liked it a lot. Sex had never felt like that before,” she responded honestly. No matter how many times she had sex before Harry, how many partners she’d slept with, Harry was undeniably the best one; and she thinks it was because he was her boyfriend, but either way, there was this compelling connection between them that had their minds and bodies were on the same page.

“I agree. But I also wanted to ask if you were open to new ideas in the bedroom. I know that we’ve only had sex once, but I couldn’t help but notice-”

“That I like being choked?” She took his words right out of his mouth, putting a devious smile on her face as she said them. He nodded, a bashful smile on his face.

“I’m pretty open, yeah. I haven’t tried many things, but there’s a first time for everything. So, I’m up for experimenting and I’d want some of my first times to be with you,” she straightforwardly said. He loved how honest and open she was, and it was just a quality that was going to be added to the long list of why he adored her.

“I feel the same way.” He smiled.

“Can I just say, though…I loved it when you talked to me the way you did. It’s really sexy and it makes me feel sexy.”

Harry smirked. “Noted.”

For the rest of the night, they talked about things they’d want to try on each other. They had a growing list of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ on things to try in the bedroom, which ranged from being handcuffed, blindfolded, over-stimulating, and mutual masturbation. Luci was open to spitting and slapping if Harry was down to try it, and he told her that was up for trying anything with her, but he answered that he’d love to test out the waters on those two to see if they both liked it.

It was only going to grow from when they experiment and talk about it again. Their conversation had sparked up a sense of arousal in both of them that they were fretting in their seat and couldn’t keep still. Luci noticed him grow hard in his trousers, so she straddled his lap, and asked him to take her to bed, which he wasn’t going to say no to.

He watched as she rode him to oblivion, throwing her head back as her tits glistened with sweat despite the cold weather on the first of February. Harry then ate her out, burying his tongue in between her folds. At first, he denied her orgasm, telling her that he’d allow her to let go once he gave her permission to because he wasn’t quite finished with licking her up. Luci was whiny as she cried out into the room, gripping his curls the hardest her strength would allow her. And when he gave her permission, she came on his tongue, his face, and his chest, wetting the sheets below her; and Harry swore it was the filthiest but hottest thing he’d ever seen. Their breaths were heavy, making the room even warmer than it already was with all the tension and passion that swirled through the air.

After they regained their energy back, they went a few more rounds until they were absolutely exhausted. And they both knew they were going to be incredibly sore the next morning, maybe even the next few days; but they say that the best kind of sore is when you’re finished with a workout, so Harry and Luci both categorized their rounds as the best cardio.

April 27, 2018

Cheers and claps were spread all around as the director called out the final cut to the final scene of the film. It had been a long and tiring process, but a wave of proudness and relief was felt throughout the entire studio.

Luci felt relieved she was finished with this project while still feeling a bittersweet rush of emotions. This was her first ever major film that she was a part of, and she felt nothing short of proud of herself at how hard she worked to get to where she was. But the journey wasn’t over yet as she couldn’t wait to start her next one, and where that adventure would take her.

Harry was all she could think about. She couldn’t wait to finally go home to him for a while and not have to worry about anything. They only saw each other for one and a half days at the beginning of March when she was filming in New York before she had to fly back to California, but one and a half days were better than nothing.

She hugged the crew and cast as a big smile stayed on her face for the remainder of the time she was on set. Everyone took pictures with one another after the cast had changed out of their wardrobe and costumes while the production crew was cleaning everything up.

Thea and Samantha arrived on set once filming was over to congratulate Luci. They hugged and took a few pictures, which was now going to be a tradition after Luci was done with a project. After everyone had settled down, the adrenaline ceased a bit, Luci headed back to her trailer with Thea. Before she could enter, Thea pulled her to the side to introduce Luci to a journalist who was waiting for them by the side of her trailer.

“Hi, Luciana. My name is Audrey.” They shook hands as Luci politely introduced herself and greeted the interviewer.

“Audrey is just going to interview you, is that okay?” Thea asked, and Luci nodded, seeing as it was for harmless promo. She was a bit nervous because this interview was probably for an important media outlet, and it was her very first one too.

Throughout the months, Luci had gone through media training since Thea mentioned that it was necessary and inevitable since she was now in the spotlight, so public appearances and special interviews were required for her to go through that training. Her media coach told her the basics: to be herself—people love to see true and raw personality to a celebrity; have interesting stories to tell upon asking because people will ask, and be passionate because the media loves to pick up on nitty gritty details about one’s appearance and attitude, which will cause them to flip the switch completely.

The entire process had overwhelmed her a bit as later that night, she called Harry in tears as she explained the training to him as he tried to comfort her through the phone from across the country.

He assured her that everyone was going to love her because she had a loveable and approachable persona to her that it would be difficult to not love her; Harry had almost slipped his three words that were lingering on his tongue to further prove his point, but he stopped himself, not wanting to say them over the phone.

Thea let herself into the trailer, leaving the two to begin the interview.

“Okay, do you mind if I record you?” Audrey asked, looking down at her phone, making Luci trail her eyes down to the voice memos app where Audrey’s thumb hovered over the record button.

“No.” She shook her head, and Audrey pressed the red button.

“So, Luciana, I was informed this was your very first major film project. How do you feel about it?” Audrey questioned in a professional interviewer voice.

“I-I feel very honored to be working in this film with so many people that I’ve watched on the screen growing up. This film has such an amazing crew and cast that it felt like family; and I learned so many things from this entire journey, so I’m very appreciative and grateful to be part of this.” She may have rambled a bit, but it was a solid and genuine answer.

“Who are your inspirations that you look up to while being part of this business?”

Luci thought for a moment, gathering the actors and actresses that popped in her head. “To name a few: Meryl Streep, Sandra Bullock—I had the honor of working with here—and Cillian Murphy, to name a few. I’ve also really loved and was always inspired by Giulia Stone. I loved all of the movies she did in the seventies, and she’s just so iconic and a legend that I will always admire.”

Audrey then asked about her upbringing—where the new and potential star grew up, and her past job on Broadway.

“Broadway was also a dream of mine when growing up, and the atmosphere was insane. I loved every minute of it, and I left the building with so much adrenaline and energy every night because the audience was always so wonderful.”

They then talked about her role for Miss Saigon, and Luci was reminiscent of her part before she stepped into the world that was filled with well-known actors and a big industry. In a way, she missed the Broadway universe, and for the first month of shooting for the film, she considered quitting and going back to Broadway as she felt like she wasn’t fit enough to be part of the job, but she pushed herself through (with the help of Harry and her family). She believed everything happened for a reason, and perhaps her time on Broadway was limited to what she’d expected because the film industry was calling her name.

“Last question to wrap it up.” Audrey chuckled. “Do you have a lover? Anyone special out there that has your heart? These questions will be asked frequently, so might as well get used to them now.” The curiosity poured through the interviewer’s body, and portrayed in her exterior as her eyes bulged, lips curled in as her hand moved her phone closer to Luci, making sure to get her answer on record crystal clear with no chance to mumble or hide her answer. Luci didn’t like how she said the last sentence, like it was an obvious question to ask.

For some prideful and egotistical reason, Luci didn’t want to fill her satisfaction, to fill the media’s curiosity in hopes to feed people the latest gossip and the inaccurate news. Sure, Luci wasn’t a big name, people barely looked twice at the mention of her name, but something inside of her didn’t want everyone to know what her personal or love life looked like; frankly because it wasn’t any of their business.

Confidently, she subtly leaned her head a little closer to the speaker of Audrey’s phone before answering, “No, I don’t.”

Audrey pressed the red button again to stop recording, and Luci would later on know that she made a big mistake saying that.

come talk to me about your feelings, thoughts, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3 next chapter will be up next saturday!

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles ff #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x oc #harry styles series #boyfriend!harry #teacher!harry #actress!oc

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love-and-monsters · 4 years

Text

Harpy Model

M harpy X GN human, 6,762 words.

This story is based on this post that I was tagged in by the lovely and talented @p-gretz. Thanks for the inspiration!

You fumbled with the camera equipment in your hands. The tripod kept trying to escape under your elbow, but shifting to secure it would mean losing the lens cap, and grabbing for that jeopardized the magnifier you had balanced against your collarbone. If people stopped dumping things on you at every given opportunity, you probably would have been alright, but being the lowest member on the totem pole meant your status was barely better than a self-propelled table.

The tripod slipped another inch down and you automatically grabbed at it. The sudden movement unbalanced the camera in the center of the pile. With a clatter of plastic, it slipped free, tumbling toward the ground.

A feathered hand snagged the camera strap, jerking it to a halt seconds before it struck the ground. “Need some help?” a slightly accented male voice asked.

“Thanks, but I got it,” you said. A total lie. You could not have had it less if you’d tried.

“Nonsense. At least let me take something so you can get better situated.” Before you could protest again, he had removed several of the objects, tucking them into his feathered arms.

Without the constant danger of dropping something if you so much as twitched, you were able to shift the pile in your arms into a better position. “Thank you. I’m sorry, I-”

You froze. It felt embarrassingly out of character for you to look at someone and freeze, but his face made something in your chest do backflips.

He was elegantly made up, with touches lengthening his lashes and emphasizing his cheekbones. His hair was pale and curling in little waves around his ears. Delicate feathers sprouted around his neck, trailing down toward his arms. They were pale white, with touches of pink. His tail was easily the most striking part of him. Long, green feathers made a train behind him that brushed the floor and gave him the impression of a trailing cloak. He stood delicately on bird-like talons, poised like a dancer.

Fortunately, your freeze only lasted a couple of seconds, and you disguised it by pretending to drop and recover one of your many items. “Sorry. I’m trying to go to studio, um. A12, so I’ll just be heading over there-”

The man laughed. It was more gentle than mocking, but you felt your stomach shrivel in embarrassment regardless. “Really? Then you’re heading in the wrong direction. I’m headed in the same direction. I can walk you there.”

“I wouldn’t want to bother you,” you said.

“It’s not a bother. You seem like you could use the help.” You blushed furiously, but the man didn’t seem to notice. He shifted the camera he’d taken from you into a more comfortable position in his arm. “Are you new here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.”

“Yeah. I’m, um. The new intern, basically. You’ve been here for a while?”

“I work with a few different photography places as a model. But I’ve had a contract here for some time.” He flicked his tail casually. “If you need help, I can show you around a little bit when we’re done. This place can be a real maze until you get used to it.”

“Oh, I couldn’t impose on you like that. I mean, you’re probably really busy and I don’t want to take up any of your valuable time-”

The harpy laughed. “My time is hardly the most valuable time here. And, if we’re being really honest…” He leaned in close to your ear. His feathers tickled as he put a hand up to his mouth. “I don’t mind making some of the people around here wait. They’re all really stuck up.” He leaned back and dropped you a glittery wink before strolling on ahead. “Come with me! It’s this way.”

You hurried after him. He had a particularly flowing, graceful way of moving. It wasn’t hard to believe he was a model- even if you hadn’t met him in the studio, you would have guessed it. He moved like he was always on a catwalk.

The studio was particularly maze-like. There were multiple winding halls with several doors each. Only a few small signs gave any sign of where anything was, and casual racks of clothes strewn around the hallway blocked more than half of them. The harpy, however, strode through the halls with a practiced ease.

After several turns, you finally came across a door marked Studio A12. The harpy pushed the door open and paused to let you through before stepping in himself.

“Revali! You’re late!” An impatient-looking woman glared across the room at him. You froze automatically, but he just put down the equipment he’d been carrying on a nearby table and gave you a wink.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” he said. You turned away from him as your supervisor approached you.

“You’re late too,” he said.

“Sorry. I kind of got lost.”

“I know it’s your first week here, so I’m not going to scold you for this, but being on time is important here. At least for the photographers.” He cast a disparaging look at Revali who was chatting cheerfully with the stern-looking woman. “Models get more leeway.”

“He doesn’t seem so bad,” you said. “I thought a lot of models here were kind of stuck up.”

“He’s not stuck up,” your supervisor agreed. “He’s got the opposite problem. He doesn’t take anything seriously. One of those types who float through life on nothing but their good looks.”

The photoshoot started right after he spoke and you were immediately swept up in the business of it all. Your job was essentially doing whatever anyone needed of you, and they needed a lot. You spent most of the time scrambling around, fixing lights, grabbing accessories, fetching camera equipment, and being a general gopher. The photoshoot lasted only an hour and a half, but you were exhausted by the time it was over.

You sagged by the door, waiting for your next task to be assigned. Revali was having some sort of conversation with his manager that seemed to be verging on an argument, at least on her end. Revali looked as casual as ever.

His manager said something stabbing a finger in his face. He didn’t even flinch. He just lifted one of his shoulders in a slight shrug and, with a flick of his tail, strolled away.

“Ready for the tour?” he asked as he walked over to you. He had a particular way of walking, like he was constantly on a catwalk. It really was more of a strut than a casual walk.

“I already said you don’t have to. And, um, I don’t want to get you in trouble.” You made a subtle head motion toward his managers, who was alternating between looking at her phone screen and glaring at him.

Revali tossed his head. “She’s not my mother. She doesn’t control me. I do what I like. And right now, I’d like to take you on a tour of the studio. Why don’t you come with me?”

You glanced back at his manager. Revali shifted in front of you, blocking her from your sight. “All right,” you said. “But it can’t take too long. I’ve still got other responsibilities to take care of.”

Revali nodded and gestured for you to follow him out the door. “Like I said, this whole place is kind of a maze. I swear, they designed every section to look as similar as possible. But, you can figure out where all the studios are because it’s broken into sections. The stairwells are always marked with the sections. Even numbers are always to the right when you get off the stairwells and odd numbers to the left. Here, I’ll show you how to get to a couple of the bigger studios-”

Revali was right- the entire place seemed to have been designed like a weird, spiraling maze. You ended up needing to take notes on everything he told you. When you finally came to a stop, you were almost dizzy from all the turns you’d needed to make.

“Where are we?” you asked, looking around. “I haven’t been in this part of the building before.” It was almost indistinguishable from the other parts of the building, with eh same florescent lights and powder blue walls, but there were larger signs next to every door and they were spaced closer together.

“Yes, you probably haven’t needed to come down here yet.” Revali opened one of the doors and stepped inside. It was a small room with a large mirror taking up most of one wall, a couch, a minifridge, and a few racks of fancy-looking clothes. “They’re the model rooms. Those of us who have long-term contracts here get our own little spaces when we’re not working.” He strode across the room and sprawled on his couch.

You stood in the doorway. One of the models taking an interest in you and then inviting you back to his personal room? It was hard to keep your imagination from going places. “Hey, uh. I don’t want to be rude, but if you invited me back here for some, uh, fun, I’m not really into casual flings, so-”

Revali shrugged. “Whether or not we have sex is entirely up to you. I’ve had a couple flings in here. Honestly, they didn’t do much for me.”

If he had been attempting to make you more comfortable, it had backfired. Great. Now you didn’t want to sit down anywhere. You remained in the doorway. “Why did you bring me here, then?”

Revali shrugged. “You seemed overwhelmed,” he said. “And it’s much quieter down here.” There was a series of thumps and cursing on the other side of the wall. Revali glared at it. “Mostly, anyway.”

You plucked up your courage and settled on the couch next to him. He grinned. “Also, it’s lunch time and I like eating with other people. I make way too much food all the time.”

Revali grabbed a few Tupperware containers out of his minifridge and lay them out on the table next to you. Most of them appeared to be some sort of meat covered in a thick sauce. Revali was looking at you eagerly, so you took the fork he was offering and took a bite.

“Oh!” you said. “It’s good!”

“Yeah?” Revali said. “I cook when I’m stressed, so I always have more food than I need.” You took a few more bites, enjoying the richness and spiciness of the sauce over the umami of the meat. Revali leaned back, watching you eat with a strange amount of intensity.

“Um. Are you going to have some?” you asked, gesturing to the food. Revali made a face.

“Can’t. I have my own lunch here.” He pulled out an uninspired-looking salad with a few strips of grilled chicken on top.

“You make food, but then you don’t eat it?” you asked. Revali shrugged.

“The life of a model. I do need to keep in shape,” he said. “But I’m always cooking, so you can come over any time you want. I’ll give you a free lunch.”

“You could try at least one bite,” you said. You lifted a piece of meat on your fork and held it out to him. Revali lifted a brow. “Come on. You made all this. I’ll feel bad if I’m the only one who gets to eat it.”

Revali’s brow lifted a little higher. “Well, if you’ll feel bad, I suppose I have no choice but to spare your feelings.” You had intended for him to take the fork from you, but instead, he leaned forward and picked the chunk of meat off the fork with his teeth. He sprawled back and chewed, eyes closing. “Mm. It is good.”

You glanced around the room. It was slightly messy, with clothes and makeup strewn all over the place. Nothing was dirty, but it was a little cluttered. “How did you get into modeling, anyway?”

Revali opened his eyes and pushed himself more upright. “It was a few years ago. Just started doing a few local things, then I got scouted by my current agency. It’s not the most fun, really, but it’s pretty good money. Better than flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant, at least.” He shrugged. “Never finished college, so my job prospects are pretty limited.” He eyed you. “What about you?”

“I finished college a month or so ago. Studied photography. I’m hoping that this internship will lead to an actual job in the future, because right now I’m kind of living off my savings.” You gave a weak chuckle. “I kind of wanted to do my own photography thing, but, you know. Better to have a stable job.”

“Don’t I know it. I’d love to do some more interesting projects, but these ones pay well, which is what my manager likes.” Revali checked his phone and grimaced. “I’m going to have to head to my next shoot in a few minutes. You can hang out here if you like. Just put stuff back when you’re done with it.”

“I should probably be getting back now anyway,” you said, standing up. “Thank you for the lunch, though. You’re a good cook.”

“Thank you. Come back any time. Like I said, I’ve always got food. Actually, let me walk you back to the photo area. Just to make sure you get there all right.” Revali held the door open for you as you stepped into the hall.

“I’m not that hopeless,” you said, starting to head down the hallway. Revali snickered and you stopped. “What?”

“You sure?” he said. “Because, uh, you are going the complete wrong direction.”

“Oh,” you said. “I. Um. That’s embarrassing.”

“You’ll get used to it. Eventually. Here, I’ll show you the way.” Revali linked his arm through yours. “This all right?”

“Sure,” you said. “Thank you. Again.”

“No problem at all! Now, we should probably hurry, so I don’t get yelled at twice in one day. My manager would blow a blood vessel.” Revali headed off at a rapid trot, forcing you to jog to keep up.

Meeting him for lunch became a regular practice after that. He usually had something new and interesting for you to try, and he seemed to enjoy your company. Every day, you would slip out of work and head down to his dressing room for at least half an hour. A few times, you lost track of the time and had to sprint to make it back to your next shoot.

“They’re really putting you through the ringer, huh?” Revali said as you collapsed on his couch. He was wearing the sparkliest blue jacket you’d ever seen. Whether it was actually for a shoot or not was up in the air- Revali was the sort of person who would wear it out and about.

“It’s all right. I wish I was allowed to do more than just menial labor, though. I knew I was going to get the tasks people didn’t like when I started, but I wish I had more learning experiences. I feel like I’ve barely held a camera for something other than handing it to someone.”

Revali stretched his arms over his head, wings twitching. It was always interesting to watch the way they moved. They were a combination of wings and arms, with feathers sprouting all along his arms and the wing tip and hands separating at the wrists. Whenever he wore long sleeves, he needed to cut slits for the feathers and tied the ends closed around his wrists. They were usually tied closed with some sort of bangle, so he nearly always jingled when he moved his arms. “That’s a bummer. Have you been able to take any photos at all recently?”

“Nah. I’ve been too busy. When I get home from work, all I want to do is collapse. And I’ve been having trouble getting inspiration. I’ve been trying to get out more and do some shoots in nature, because it’s a lot nicer than the manufactured settings we have here, but I’ve been having trouble finding a model.”

Revali sat up straighter. “Having trouble finding a model, hm? Well, isn’t is just so fortunate that I happen to have some skills in that particular department?”

“Are you sure? I can’t really pay you much. That’s part of the reason I’ve been having trouble getting some models. When your job isn’t paying you anything, you can’t afford to hire someone for an afternoon. And I’m just not connected enough to find someone willing to do it for free.”

“I think we can help each other out,” Revali said. “I do actually need some new photos for my portfolio, and I think it would be nice to have a more natural setting. Let me use the photos and I’ll do it for free.”

“You’d be willing to do that? And you’re not too busy? I know you’ve kind of been running ragged for the past few days,” you said.

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all. Like I said, it gives us both something we want.” He whipped a phone out of his pocket and started tapping on the screen. “Let’s see. I’m free Saturday afternoon, if that works for you?” You nodded. “Wonderful. Text me your address, I’ll stop by and you can take me wherever you want.”

Your phone timer dinged and you jumped to your feet. “Oh, shoot, I need to get going. Um, I guess I’ll see you then? And thank you!”

“Don’t worry about it, cutie. Just go.” He waved a hand at you. “I’d hate to see you get yelled at on my behalf.”

You scrambled out the door, waving goodbye to him once more before heading down the hall.

Waiting for Saturday became the highlight of your week. You deliberated over the best location, eventually picking a slightly secluded, riverside area. Revali had agreed to bring some of his own outfits, which he had allowed you to approve. They were simpler than the outfits he usually wore to work, with more natural colors, but he still looked good in them.

You spent a lot of time fussing with your cameras on the day of the shoot. It would be terribly embarrassing for Revali to show up and see you unprepared.

The knock on your door was startling. You carefully placed your camera on your table and hurried to answer it.

Revali was leaning against the doorway. “Hello, darling. Ready to go?”

He was wearing some fancy-looking gold and silver makeup and he’d done something to plump up his tail. It was long and fancy typically, but he’d added long lines of beads and fluff to his tail, making it look even more striking than usual.

“Wow,” you said. You were suddenly overly conscious about how messy your hair was and the fact that you’d just kind of thrown on the first clothes you’d laid your eyes on in the morning. Would it be weird if you made an excuse to go change? “Uh. Do you want to come in for a minute? I just, uh, need to finish something up.”

Revali stepped into your house. “Nice place,” he said, glancing around. You snorted.

“Please. I’m renting a house in the middle of nowhere that has, like, three rooms. Uh, make yourself comfortable. I just need to, um. Grab a jacket.”

“It’s nicely decorated, though. You have a good aesthetic sense.” Most of the stuff you had was from second-hand stores, but it did all sort of go together in a sort of farmhouse-chic way.

You hurried into your room and swapped your old sweatshirt out for a nicer shirt and one of your nicer jackets. The pants were staying, they were good enough. You hurried back out into the kitchen. Revali was examining a few of the photos that adorned your walls.

“You take these?” he asked. They were mostly nature shots, images of animals or flowers up close or landscape shots of rolling fields or mountains.

“Yeah. Most of them were for class. I just hung up the best ones,” you said.

“They’re nice. I like them. Do you like taking picture of nature better? Than of people, I mean.”

“Um. I mean. They’re both nice, just in different ways. There’s something really meditative about taking pictures of nature. It’s peaceful. Working with people can be harder, but it’s also kind of rewarding? Like, taking photos for a wedding is really nice. You get to capture a really great moment in someone’s life and then, when they look back at it, you help them remember the good moments. I like being able to do that for people.”

Revali looked at you. His eyes were bright, assessing. “Why do you work for the studio? It’s not any of those things you said, peaceful or rewarding. It’s mostly just stressful.”

“It makes money,” you said as you headed for the door. “Why do you work for the agency?”

There was a pause, long enough for you to get in the car. “Because it makes good money,” Revali finally said. “And it also means I get my face out there. I like being well known, you know.”

“I can’t imagine wanting that. I like being behind the scenes way more.”

Revali settled back in the seat and watched the fields roll by. “Where are we headed?”

“Um, there’s this nice little riverside area in a stand of trees. I thought it might make for some pretty photos.” You glanced at him uncertainly. “I hope that’s okay with you. I know you said you’d be okay with a nature shoot, but hope you’re not going to be too upset with a little dirt. I’ll try to keep you out of it, but-”

Revali burst into peals of laughter. You twisted your head to stare at him before realizing that you should probably keep your eyes on the road. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Oh, I shouldn’t laugh! It just struck me as very funny, but you had no way of knowing, of course.” Revali wiped a stray tear away. “Do you know where I grew up?”

“No,” you said. He hadn’t told you, had he? Revali seemed unoffended. He ran a hand through his hair, which somehow still looked artfully tousled. You were temporarily distracted by the way little tufts curled loosely around his ears. Hurriedly, you turned your gaze back to the road.

“I grew up on a farm,” he said. He fluttered his feathers. “I’m a cockerel harpy- I’ve got my fancy show feathers, but I’m not exactly a bird of paradise. It’s a family thing. I grew up working in the dirt and mud, and whenever I go home, I’m expected to do it again.”

“I never would have guessed,” you said honestly. He had the soft looks of someone who had never worked hard labor, but when you looked him over again, you could see how his smooth muscles might have come from farm work. “Your family didn’t mind, then, you going to be a model?”

“You think I have some sob story about running away from my strict farm father to pursue my dreams of being in the spotlight?” Revali smirked at you. “No. My father was disappointed, I think. He did want me to carry on the tradition. But I’ve got two younger sister who are much more invested in the farm life, so he didn’t have any fears about passing everything on and both my parents are the ‘follow your dreams’ sort, so they probably would have let me go anyway. I’m not sure they understand what I see in modeling, but they support me nonetheless.”

It was a short drive to the little grove. You parked out of the way and gathered your camera equipment while Revali looked around the area. “It’s pretty,” he said, inspecting a spray of yellow flowers. “You have a good eye.”

“Thanks.” You carefully placed the tripod. “Okay, first things first. I want to get some full-body portraits first, then we can move on to the up-close stuff.”

Revali was easy to work with, easier than you would have guessed from the number of arguments he got into with his manager. He posed gracefully, responded to your every critique thoughtfully and carefully, and even put up with your artistic considerations with far more patience than you would have expected. Even when you spent several minutes forcing him to hold a pose while you got the angle just right, he didn’t complain.

About two hours after you had started, you called a break. Revali shrugged his artfully-held jacket back on and lounged against a tree. “Can I see some of the photos?” he asked.

You considered for a moment, then handed the camera over with the same care you would with a baby. Probably more, really. “Just don’t break anything, all right?”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” Revali said. “I’ve only ever dropped two cameras. And one of them survived with only minimal damage!” You stared at him in wide-eyed horror. “I’m kidding! I’ll be very careful.”

He clicked through the camera’s photo roll. You sat nearby, leg jittering nervously. His expression was inscrutable.

“These are nice,” he said after a few moments. “I mean, they’re quite good. Better than a lot of the shoots I’ve been to recently. I like the shadow and light here.” He tapped at the photo on screen. You leaned over to see which one he was talking about. It was one of the close-ups, where Revali was staring up through the trees. The sunlight dappled leaf shadows across his face and picked up the flecks of gold in his dark eyes.

“It’s just a photo of your face,” you said, a little embarrassed by the praise. “I mean, it’s hard to make you look bad.”

“Oh, you’re being too modest. A poor picture can make anyone look bad and my lovely face can only do so much. You’re the one who set up the shot and was all clever with the lighting and whatnot.” Revali gave a little wave of his hand. “Honestly, it’s better than a few of my modeling pictures. And you’re much better at giving direction than most of the people at the studio. I swear, the number of times I just get told to look pouty at the camera is ridiculous. Or ridiculously esoteric shit. ‘Think about your best friend returning after a long time away’ my ass. Just tell me exactly what to do with my face and I’ll do it.” He stopped and gave you a slightly embarrassed look. “Not to make this about me, of course. But yes, you are quite good. It’s a shame you don’t get more projects.”

You shrugged. “I’d like to do more independent stuff. But I just don’t have any connections and I’ve been having a hard time getting gigs and, well, it’s just hard when you’re getting started.”

Revali tilted his head to one side. “Things will get better,” he said. You huffed out a sigh.

“I hope so. I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t get to do something interesting in my actual job soon.” You fiddled with a few of the camera settings again. “Ready?”

“Certainly.” The photoshoot commenced once more. Revali seemed to be putting his all into the shoot, which you appreciated. He probably could have slipped by with just posing halfheartedly, but he was really putting effort forward.

You spent longer on a photoshoot than you had expected. Revali was nice to work with, cracking little jokes at every opportunity and being patient with any technical mishaps. The sun had started to sink toward the horizon by the time you were done.

“Sorry that took so long,” you said. “I didn’t mean to take up your weekend.”

“I’m really fine.” Revali flicked his tail, combing his fingers through the long feathers. “You apologize a lot, don’t you?”

“I just don’t want to come across as rude,” you said. Revali laughed.

“That’s one thing you certainly don’t do,” he said. “I enjoyed myself.”

“Still,” you said as the pair of you headed back toward his car, “why don’t I buy you dinner? It’s the least I can do.”

Revali looked down at you. His dark eyes glittered with interest. “If you’re offering, then I’ll certainly take you up on it.”

It took some driving around, but you eventually settled on a small café fairly close to Revali’s townhouse. He selected some sort of salad and you picked out a sandwich. Revali was right, the place was quite good. “I’ve never been here before,” you said. “I guess I haven’t been eating out for lunch as much, though.”

“I’m pleased my cooking is so good to you,” Revali said. He picked at his salad, moving the leaves around more than he was eating them. A knot started to form in your stomach.

“Hey.” Revali looked up. Your tone must have been strange because his expression became serious. “Um. You don’t, um. Eat much.”

Revali lowered his fork. “Ah. I did notice you staring during meals, but I suppose I was trying to flatter myself, thinking it was entirely my good looks.”

You felt hot. “I’m sorry, I know it might be rude to bring it up. But I’m just a little worried. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Hm,” Revali muttered. He put down his fork and shifted in his seat. His feathers rustled and ruffled. “I did have some trouble with eating well when I was younger. It never developed into a full-blown disorder, but I have always had a bit of an issue with maintaining my looks. I suppose my current representation isn’t helping with this issue.”

“Your manager?” you guessed. Revali gave a tight-lipped smile.

“Yes. I gained a pound the other week and got a bit of a lecture for it. Apparently, thin men are in right now. Harpies are usually fine boned and slender and all that, but I suppose it’s not quite enough for her.” A swell of anxiety crested behind his words.

You fiddled with a toothpick. “Can you get new representation?”

“Unfortunately, I can’t. She is the only available representative for the company I have a contract with right now. And even if I could switch, I don’t have any guarantee that the next manager would be any better. Extreme dieting is not exactly uncommon in the modeling industry.” He sighed, picking up his fork and poking at the salad a few times before spearing a large bite and shoving it into his mouth. “The contract actually expires in a couple weeks,” he said, swallowing the bite. “She’s not happy about it. She really wants me to sign on again, but I haven’t done it yet.”

“What’ll you do if you don’t sign on again? Try to go somewhere else?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been modeling for a few years now. I’m not sure what else to do. But I’ll admit, I don’t love the culture. It’s not great for my mental health, in all honesty. I just don’t know what else to do.”

He looked so despondent that you couldn’t help but reach across the table and take his hand. He stared at your fingers for a moment before lifting his gaze to yours. “I’m sure whatever you chose will be the right thing,” you said. “I think, if your modeling career is bad for your mental health, then you can quit. You’re more than just a pretty face, you know? You know more about photoshoots than you think you do. You’ve got a good sense for lighting and you’ve even got a better idea of colors than I do. And you’ve got a really great fashion sense. I think there’s a lot you could do.”

Revali blinked at you for a moment, then his face broke into a breathtaking smile. A blush stole across your face, blazing in your cheeks. He looked unbearably beautiful. It wasn’t just the features of his face, though they were all very good. It was the clear and genuine delight that the smile conveyed. “I don’t think I’ve had someone compliment me so sweetly in a long time! At least, not on something other than my looks.”

“Not to mention, you’re a kick-ass cook,” you added. Revali laughed and took a sip of his water. You weren’t sure, because he had quite a bit of makeup on, but you though you could see a hint of pink tinging his cheeks.

“If I’m looking for a less stressful job than modeling, I don’t think being a chef is a good choice. And I’m not quite good enough to be in the industry. But it is nice to have my skills complimented.” He took another sip. “But thank you. Being a model can make it so your looks are the most important part of your life. It’s good to be reminded they’re not the most important thing about me.”

You shrugged. “Hey, I’m not much in the looks department, so I’m pretty good at looking past that.”

“Now, now, don’t be modest. You’re quite cute yourself,” Revali said, dropping a glittery wink. You felt yourself flushing again.

After dinner, you returned home and bid Revali a farewell. You spent the evening examining the photos you’d taken. Most of them were quite good. At the very least, they would make good photos for your portfolio. You considered them for a few moments, then pulled up the bare bones of your website and started uploading the photos.

The next day, you joined Revali for lunch again. He was wearing more than his usual makeup, but even so, you could see the slight puffiness around his eyes. “Tired?” you asked.

“Ughh. My manager and I got into a fight last night, after I got home. Things were said.” He massaged his forehead. “Tell me something good, darling, I need it.”

“Um,” you said. “I set up my website last night? Or I started setting it up, at least.”

Revali focused fully on you. “Your website?”

“Yeah. Um, I hope you don’t mind, I put some of the pictures we took up there. I want to see if I can start freelancing, at least in my free time.” Revali perked up. The tired look slid off his face.

“I don’t mind. I’m used to having my pictures all over the place. So, you’ve decided to start doing your own thing, now?” He leaned toward you.

“At least a little bit. The hardest part will be getting clients. Once I build up a little bit of a base, I can start getting people by word of mouth and stuff. But it’s difficult now.”

“I’d expect so,” Revali said, but he appeared to only be half paying attention. His gaze had become a little unfocused, like he was thinking about something else. “You know what, my next shoot’s in a few minutes. You can hang out here if you want. I’ll see you later.”

You met for lunch a few times in the next couple of weeks. Revali’s mood seemed to have improved. He was much more cheerful and, to your great relief, he seemed to be eating more.

It was almost exactly two weeks after you’d had your photoshoot when Revali sought you out at work. “I was going to come by for lunch,” you said. “Is something wrong?”

Revali seized your hands. “No. Things are great! I just told my manager to fuck off!” He proclaimed it loudly enough that several people in the vicinity turned toward him. You ignored them.

“That is great! I’m so glad for you,” you said.

“That’s not everything,” Revali said. “I have a surprise for you.” His tail twitched and flicked with excitement. “Follow me!”

Revali tugged you through the building, down to his dressing room. “Okay. Remember how you were talking about having trouble getting clientele?”

“Yeah,” you said cautiously.

“Well, I’ve been a model for a while. Which means I have some connections and some favors.” Revali opened the door and tugged you inside. “So, I thought I’d call some in!”

The room did not look different. You looked cautiously at Revali. “Uh. What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“This!” Revali snatched a stack of papers off a table and thrust them at you. You flipped through them. “It’s the information of people who want to have photoshoots! There’s a couple of weddings, one person wants a pet thing, a couple of people want you to take photos for cosplays- I told them all that you were really good and you’re easy to work with and a bunch of people were willing to give it a shot.”

“You got me gigs?” There was a note of incredulity in your voice. “Like, paying gigs?”

“Yes! I told you, I have some contacts and some favors. I pulled a few strings.” Revali fluttered his wings.

“Thank you,” you said. “I don’t know what to say.”

“All the information you need is there. You can contact them all for more information, but it should have the basics.” Revali sprawled across his couch. “I figured that if I was going out, I might as well use my connections for good.”

“Going out?” you said, perching on the couch next to him.

“Yeah.” Revali rubbed at the back of his neck. “I told my manager to fuck off, remember? There’s a solid chance I’ll get blackballed for it, and even if I don’t, I don’t think I want to do this modeling thing anymore. It hasn’t been great for my mental health. And I’d like to be seen as more than just a pretty face.”

“You have plans?” you asked.

“No. I’ve got some money saved up. I figure I can afford to coast for a little bit. And if it really gets bad, I’m sure my dad would be happy to have me back on the farm.” He laughed, but you caught the slight downturn of his mouth. You ran your finger along the edge of the paper stack.

“If you’re interested, these are a lot of jobs. I think I could use a little bit of help,” you said. Revali blinked at you. “I can’t pay much, but it’ll be a little bit of money and if I start getting really good, I can hire you on full time. You’ve already shown you’ve got an eye for this stuff.”

“Really?” Revali said. He stared at you disbelievingly. “You’re willing to do that for me?”

“It would help me as much as it would help you. I mean, you’ve already been a huge help and you’re not even working for me yet. I think we’d make a good team.”

Revali looked enormously delighted. “Oh, thank you! You’re incredible!” With no warning, he ducked forward, his hands came up to the sides of your face, and he pressed his mouth to yours.

Your brain short-circuited temporarily. There wasn’t a single coherent thought in your mind. Just a bunch of sensations. Mouth. On your mouth. Kissing. Revali was kissing you. Passionately. His hands were on your face. His feathers were tickling you. His breath was warm on your face.

He broke away from you before you could gain enough sense to kiss back. Revali grinned sheepishly. “Oh. That was sort of supposed to be the grand finale. We were supposed to go out for dinner first. I just got excited.”

You pulled your thoughts together. “You were going to ask me out?”

“I thought you deserved something for taking me out a while ago. And I’ve been thinking about asking you out for a while. But you looked so cute there and I was very grateful, and I just couldn’t help myself,” he said. “I hope you didn’t mind too much?”

“No,” you said. “I didn’t mind. At all.” Revali smiled. You were drawn to the curve of his mouth, the fullness of his upper lip. “But, maybe just to make sure, we should do it again?”

Revali’s smile got bigger. “You know, I was thinking that I’m not going to have this dressing room much longer. There are a lot of things we could do in here. Celebrate our moving on and all that.”

“Let’s start with kissing,” you said, “and we can see where it goes.”

Revali leaned closer to you. “Start with kissing. I can do that.”

#exophilia #harpy #harpy boyfriend #monster boyfriend #monster lover #his name is a reference btw #rooster harpy #male monster

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