#he made many plans about me living with him full time and when I'd ask how he planned on getting custody he'd wave it away

[chussy]

just realized that my dad actually basically attempted to kidnap me the summer before 7th grade and I didn't even interpret it as such until now because it was so in line with his general shittiness that it didn't even stand out

[daysofyellowroses]

noodles

carmen berzatto x reader | 1.9k | based on this absolutely adorable request from my darling @thecapricunt1616 enjoy it then i am beyond happy 💗🌼🫶🏻

It didn't matter how many times you shook the plastic stick, the little pink plus sign didn't fade. You tossed it in the trash can, where it joined three others with matching pink pluses. You couldn't really get your head around it, you'd been careful, taken things relatively slow..well, kind of. 

Things had just progressed a little quicker than you'd expected. One minute you're applying for a hostess job, thinking you probably won't even get an interview, seeing as it was a Michelin-starred hotspot, then next thing you're front and center at a fancy restaurant and spending large portions of your shift flirting with the head chef. 

It was never serious flirting, it was just silly and fun. You made flirty comments to everyone, you just particularly meant them with Carmy. He finally seemed to get the hint when you asked him upstairs after he'd dropped you home for the 10th time. 

Nothing really happened that night, you just shared a drink, cheap wine from your refrigerator, and made each other laugh with stupid jokes. You told him you meant it when you flirted, he insisted you were joking. It was only when you kissed him that he finally got the message, kissing you back with a fervor that had your head spinning in the most wonderful way. 

From there you two developed a relationship that suited you both. You were professional at work, still had some nights apart when you were both exhausted or just needed some alone time. But you had spent hours sitting on his kitchen counter watching him cook, told him stories from your past, encouraged him to tell you some stories too. You watched movies that you didn't pay full attention to, you read your book with your legs over Carm's lap, rolling your eyes with a grin when he would tease you for looking so serious. 

It was the best relationship you'd ever been in, and while you weren't sure what the future held, you were positive Carm would be a big part of it, that you two would keep going, develop your relationship.

Sure, you had thought about kids, marriage, a home together etc., but in a kind of just-for-fun-daydreamy kind of way. 

Now, one of those things was becoming a reality. It wasn't exactly how you would have planned it, you and Carm weren't even living together. Sure, you stayed at his most nights of the week and had more than a few personal belongings left there, but it wasn't the same.

It felt like moving in should have been the next step. The excitement of starting to really build a foundation together. You were just skipping ahead a step or two, apparently. 

Eventually you left the bathroom and chose to sit on your bed for a while instead. You called your doctor and made an appointment, more as a formality. Maybe it would feel more real when your doctor told you rather than seeing it on a plastic stick you'd peed on.

Once you were dressed you went to make a coffee before stopping yourself, wondering if it was ‘allowed’, even though it was so early on. You decided to play it safe, having a herbal tea instead, which you nearly choked on when your phone rang, Carmy's ID flashing up on the screen.

Did he know? How could he know?

“Hey,” You smiled as much as you could, trying to feel normal. “How are you? How is everything?”

You hoped you didn't sound too unusual or not yourself, feeling annoyingly aware of yourself.

“Hey, everything's good,” Carm replied and you felt yourself relax a little. “Just..there's been a slight change of plan for today.”

You stifled a laugh, nothing Carm could say could be a bigger change of plan than an unexpected pregnancy.

“Oh? You raised a brow, lightly tapping your nails against your cup. “What's up?”

“So, it turns out that apparently I promised Richie and Sug that I'd babysit while they have some meetings. I hate to ask when it's your day off but..could you help me?”

You couldn't help but laugh, resting your head on your head on your hand and letting out a soft sigh.

“Of course I'll help, don't worry. When do you need me?” 

An couple of hours later, you found yourself at Carmy's apartment, smiling as he opened the door looking flustered, a toddler on his hip and a doll in his hand.

“Perfect timing,” He smiled, stepping aside to let you in. “I'm outnumbered.”

“Who said I'm on your side?” You raised a brow, smiling at the little boy on Carmy's hip and gently stroked his cheek as he giggled. “I'm here to help the kids gang up on you.”

“Oh good,” Carm nodded, lightly tapping you with the doll. “Bring it on.”

You made your way to the living room, smiling as you spotted Eva on the couch, giving her a little wave.

“Hey girly girl,” You grinned, going to sit next to her. “Hope you've been keeping your uncle busy?”

“Yeah,” She giggled, leaning over to you as Carm came into the room. You leaned down, smiling as she whispered in your ear.

A half hour or so later, you went to open the living room door as there was a knock, adjusting the toddler on your hip before opening it and trying to keep a straight face as you met Carm's eyes.

“Hi, can I help you?” You asked, raising a brow.

“Uh, yeah, actually,” Carmy nodded, trying to keep a straight face. “I have an appointment, I'm a little early but..maybe you could squeeze me in?”

“Maybe,” You nodded, biting your lip softly. “Come in, follow me.”

You turned and walked further into the room, gesturing to the couch. “Take a seat.”

“Yes ma'am,” Carm nodded as you walked to the kitchen door and opened it.

“Your two o'clock is early,” You said, glancing back to Carm for a moment.. “Do you want to fit him in now?”

You nodded before turning back to Carm and gesturing to the kitchen. “She'll see you now, come through.”

You walked into the kitchen and smiled as you watched Carm walk in, the smile on his face as he spotted the makeshift beauty salon that had been set up.

“Take a seat,” Eva gestured to the seat across the counter, an adorably serious look on her face. You placed the baby into his high chair by the table, smiling as you heard Eva boss her uncle around.

“Hands in the bowl, keep them still.”

You went to the fridge, taking out a little light blue lunch box before glancing over to Carm with a smile.

“What color do you want?” Eva asked, pointing to the handful of nail polishes sitting on the counter. 

 “Hm, I'm not sure,” Carm mused, looking at the colors. “I got a big date tonight, I wanna look my best. What do you think will suit me?”

You smiled to yourself as you put the lunch box in the microwave, laughing softly as you heard Eva tell Carm to hold still.

After lunch and Carmy's nail appointment, you decided to take the kids to the park, feeling a new wave of love for your boyfriend that he made no attempt to remove the red nail polish. When you were taking the stroller to the lift, one of Carm's neighbors passed you in the hall and smiled at you and realized that it wouldn't be long before the baby in the stroller would be yours.

You brushed off the thought, trying to focus on just having a nice, fun day. As you were en route to the park, Carm asked if you could have a little detour, and you were sure the look on the kids faces when you arrived at build-a-bear would never leave you.

Carm took his nephew from the stroller and placed him on his hip before taking him to pick out a teddy, your heart swelling in your chest, moreso when Eva took your hand and asked you to help her choose.

You found yourself subconsciously placing your hand on your stomach, wondering what it would feel like to hold your own baby on your hip, feel their hand in yours, see the excitement in their eyes when they were presented with a cute little toy.

Carm's nephew had picked a bear (perhaps with a little nudge from his uncle), that ended up in a chefs uniform (that one was a total push), while Eva chose a bunny that she chose a performance outfit for. 

When you got back to Carm's, you were more than happy to chill on the couch, though you practically melted into it when Carm got a book and read to the kids (and their new toys) til they were asleep. 

“Not a bad effort,” You smiled, looking over to Carm and trying not to imagine the toddler that could be in his lap one day. “You might actually be pretty good at this whole uncle thing.”

“I might just be,” Carm grinned, reaching out to touch your hand. “Had help from the best though.”

“You're welcome,” You smiled, gently stroking his hand. “I presume that's why you're taking me on a..big date, was it?”

“Oh absolutely,” Carm nodded, looking serious for a moment before he grinned. “the biggest.”

“Hm, guess I'll have to get glammed up,” You smiled, looking over to Eva. “Maybe I'll see if I can get a last minute appointment.”

That evening, after a quick trip home to grab a change of clothes, you were back in Carmy's apartment. It felt so quiet without the kids, you found yourself putting on music just for background noise. 

When you were in the bathroom putting on your makeup, you felt a wave of nausea hit you, more out of nerves than anything else. You hoped it would leave, but before you knew it you were bent over the toilet, taking a deep breath as you waited for the inevitable.

There was a knock on the bathroom door when you were washing your hands, looking up at the mirror taking a deep breath. Even with makeup you still looked unwell. 

“Hey,” Carm smiled as you opened the door, the concern evident on his face. “Are you okay? I thought I heard..”

“I'm fine,” You nodded, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh as the concern didn't leave his face. “I just..need to talk to you.”

You walked into the bedroom, sitting on the bed and trying to think of the right words.

“Okay,” You began. “this is..really not what I thought would happen, and I don't know how you're going to take this but..oh god..”

As you buried your head in your hands, Carm was immediately by your side, his arm around your waist. 

“Whatever it is you can tell me,” He assured you. “I promise. Just let it out, we'll handle it.”

“I'm pregnant.” You said before you could stop yourself or build it up more, lowering your hands and looking over to Carm.

“You're..wow,” Carmy nodded, rubbing his jaw. “Well, thank fuck for that. I mean, I knew, but I thought you were dumping me.”

“Wait what?” You raised a brow. “You knew? How did you know?”

“I just knew,” Carm shrugged with a smile. “I mean, I guess I hoped I was right..I know it's skipping ahead a little but..I want what we had today, all the time.”

“Can you stop being so perfect for like one day?” You rolled your eyes with a grin, resting your head on Carmy's shoulder. “Or maybe just after the big date.”

[maddascanbe-blog]

Part 2 of the life-swap series! Oddly enough when I asked those close to me, none of them anticipated that I'd swap Chloe and Luka. Honestly it made more sense to me? Both have sisters, have at least one obscenely rich parent, and have crushed on the two leads?

Now onto the plot-

After finding out about the twins Jagged decided to battle for custody. He managed to get full custody of Luka, but not Juleka, and out of spit decided to cut the twins off from each other, causing Anarka to move to the the US. But despite having a young son now, this didn't stop Jagged from touring, often leaving Luka behind in Paris to be looked after by whoever was available. Even when he was in Paris he often avoided Luka, instead leaving Penny to watch him.

Luka grew up bitter at his fathers lack of care for him, and took it out on everyone around him. Mostly the staff of both Le Grande Pari, where he lives, as well as whatever caregiver his father/Penny had hired. When he went to school, he immediately began taking his anger out on everyone there too. Once Adrien's mom passed he took a special hatred to the blonde, in some ways seeing himself in Adrien. Both now children of single fathers, but Gabriel is in his sons life (whether that's good or bad doesn't matter to Luka).

And Luka, being an empath knows exactly how to get under ones skin. Because even if you don't show your emotions outwardly, he still can tell when he's struck gold. The only person he doesn't hate is Marinette, his childhood friend and the only person unaware of his attitude.

And yes, we are going for Cannon Chloe swap here, so no redemption for Luka. Sad. I'll draw Akuma-Viperion later.

Onto Chloe, once Andre found out about Audrey's infidelity he gave her two options. The first, he expose her and her career be permanently marred. Or she give him full custody of both Chloe and Zoe and the could divorce peacefully. Chloe hasn't seen her mom since she was 3 and quite frankly had no interest in her. Zoe only being a half sister to Chloe is a carefully guarded secret, one that Zoe thinks even Chloe doesn't know.

Chloe, not wanting to emulate her mother grew up with a very different mindset. Instead being taught that being both too aggressive and a pushover will lead to a mess. So she instead learns to govern her hive with a firm but steady hand. The staff of Le Grand Paris greatly respect her, and she is often the one sent to head off a Luka temper tantrum, as the only person unimpressed by both him and his father. She's more of an Clara Nightingale fan anyways.

She fast tracked her way through school, and decided to take Highschool online as to give herself more time to work both at the hotel and at her event planning company. As Queen Bee, she is fierce but kind. The favorite of the secondary heroes, since she is not only efficient at stopping the akuma, but will stick around to comfort and reassure both the victim and the civilians who were caught in the attack.

Due to her calm voice and good advice, Ladybug and Chat Noir have turned to her many times for comfort on both the chaos hero life and civilian troubles. She's always willing to listen when they need her. As such Hawkmoth sees her as the most beneficial to target. Only he seems scarred to akumatize her for some reason...

[zadig-fate]

For those wondering about the origin of the Bojan "Nie Wieder Berlin" story mentioned in my last post (since @punknoodle-4 asked), it's a reference to the 2004 American sex comedy film Eurotrip, specifically this scene:

For non-German speakers: the English subtitles are not accurate (in many ways). When the truck driver says "Nie wieder Berlin!", it actually translates to "Never again Berlin!" ("Nie wieder" / "never again" is a common expression in German.)

Bojan apparently loves this movie (I guess the whole band does?? that tracks though ngl it seems like their humour) and this scene seems to be the first thing that pops into his head when he hears "Berlin".

So when I first met him before the Halloween show in Vienna and asked if they had plans to come to Berlin, he immediately asked if I'd seen Eurotrip (I had) and made a joke about this scene. If that was all, it wouldn't be much of a story, but...

A month later in Wrocław, I happened to be standing nearby when another German girl asked Bojan if they were coming to Berlin, and then he asked HER if she'd seen Eurotrip (she hadn't), and he tried to explain this scene to her and make a joke about it, but he didn't remember the correct German phrase so I think he just confused her lol. So when I talked to him next, I taught him the expression "nie wieder Berlin" and what it actually meant (since the subtitles weren't quite correct) and he thought this was really funny and kept repeating it because he's silly like that hahaha 😅

Then a few days after THAT was the Prague show, which was kind of a disaster, from the pre-midnight queue drama to the show itself, which started really late, then electricity went out a few times, and they also had to stop the show because a girl passed out. After the show they went pretty much straight to their bus but still passed by us, so I called out "what do you think Bojan, is it nie wieder Prague now?" and he laughed and hugged me (this man hugs everyone, no wonder he's constantly sick) and said "no, it's definitely wieder Prague!" (= "Prague again").

So last week when the band actually DID come to Berlin (where I live), I took inspiration from @izpira-se-zlato 's infamous Hojan shirt and decided to make Bojan a "nie wieder Berlin" shirt, which I gave to him during soundcheck, and he loved it 😅

And we even got a post-show selfie 🫶🏻

So yeah, that's the full story behind the "nie wieder Berlin" reference (and I've seen people making "nie wieder Berlin" bracelets so I guess it got around???).

Now when Bojan sees me hanging around outside after their gigs, he greets me by shouting "NIE WIEDER BERLIN!!" and I guess there are worse things I could be known for 🤷🏼‍♀️

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Falling Part One | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Falling is forbidden but Jungkook's been pushed to the breaking point. Pairing: Angel f!reader x Angel Jungkook Word Count: 2.7k~ Warnings: Talks about doubting God and questioning why he let's bad things happen to people on earth as well as leaving heaven to join the devil. This is not meant to be harmful to any religion and I don't want to cause any doubt in God or your faith so if you feel that would affect you then please do not read. Nothing super in depth but still wanted to preface it with this. a/n: I'm planning on releasing at least a part two if not more but I wanted to see how this would do before I continued on with it so please tell me if you would like a part 2 :)

"You're not supposed to be here" I whisper, yanking my wrist out of Jungkook's grasp. "I had to see you" he says his eyes full of regret, begging me to forgive him after everything he's done. It isn't that easy when your love is destined to end in tragedy, taking anyone and everyone in your path down with you. 

It didn't start out like this, but the choices he made tore us apart and left me broken for so long that I've lost track of time. They say to forgive and forget and I may forgive him in the future, but I'll never forget. I've fallen for him once and I won't do it again...

Flashback eons ago...

"Jungkook come over here!" I yell for him to come watch as the new arrivals make their way in one by one. "There are so many today" I say, the lines between my brows deepening as I watch a group of children come in, the oldest being no more than 6 years old with some even younger following behind them. "Do you know what happened down there?" I say glancing over at Jungkook who has a pained expression on his face. 

"You do, don't you?" I question tentatively, turning my full attention towards him. "There was an earthquake today" he says looking back at the group that had somehow almost doubled in size since I'd turned my back on them. "Do you know how many?" I question him but he refuses to even make eye contact with me. "Too many" he says clenching his jaw and turns to walk away. 

"Jungkook stop" I say chasing after him as he makes his way through the city and I realize where we're headed after a minute or two. Walking through our front door he storms through the living room and heads straight to what I can only assume is our bedroom, leaving me behind. I close the door silently and take a deep breath before following.

I find him sitting on the bed with his back to the door, trying to calm his breathing down. It breaks my heart every time seeing how things like these take a toll on him. "Baby talk to me" I plead, walking toward the bed to stand next to him. I rub his back, trying to console him as best as I can but it doesn't seem to do any good.

After a moment of doing so he turns to face me and grabs onto my hips and pulls me into him and hugs my waist, finally letting the tears fall. I pull him in closer and run my fingers through his hair, quietly encouraging him to let it all out. 

"Why does he do things like this? Take all of these innocent people's lives, and for what? Because it's all a part of his plan? Why does killing so many souls have to be a part of his plan?" he asks between sobs. "I don't know, but like you said it's a part of God's plan. He knows what's best for us, and that includes everyone down on earth. I wish we could understand the things he's done and what he will do in the future but I'm sure it will all be revealed once time on earth runs out" I say, trying to make excuses for the tragedies he's caused. 

"Sometimes I just wish that he would leave them to their own devices and just watch over them" he says sniffling, trying to calm down but I can see a few tears still make their way down his cheeks despite his best efforts to keep them from falling. "Me too, but you take away the good if you take away the bad. He makes so many miracles happen everyday that it could tip the scale to equal the tragedies that happen from those natural disasters if he didn't interfere" I say trying to make sense of it all. 

"But the thing is some of those are not natural, and even if they were then why couldn't he make them magically disappear like his other miracles? How can he pick and choose who is worthy of saving and who is just left to die?" he says pulling away and looking up at me with his tear streaked face, causing a few tears to form in my eyes as well. "I hate seeing you like this" I say as my tears start to fall. "Baby" he whispers with his face contorted in a mixture of guilt and torment. Pulling me towards him as he moves to lay down on the bed, with me now burying my face in his chest.

"I know it sounds heartless but sometimes these things just need to happen and we just need to trust that he knows best" I say after having a good cry of my own. "I've trusted him! I've trusted him time and time again and things never get better" he says in a hushed tone, his voice still shaking. "I don't think I can do this anymore" he admits shaking his head and sits up to walk into the next room. I follow after him and watch as he rummages through the books we have in the study until he pulls out one book in particular that I haven't seen in years. 

"You told me you got rid of that" I say feeling uneasy, seeing that all too familiar book that changed everything for us. "I held onto it for a moment like this. I should've listened to them" "Listened to who? Lucifer? Jungkook don't you remember the war he caused? How many lives were lost until God damned him and all the angels that took his side to hell? Please don't tell me you're actually considering falling?" I say realizing how serious he is about this. 

"Aren't you tired of following someone so blindly and never knowing why they do what they do? I can't live like this anymore" he says while flipping through the pages, trying to find the ritual. "Oh, so you think he's going to be honest with you? You know how deceitful he is! Remember what your brother went through when he fell into his trap? The look on his face when he fell?" I plead reminding him of the agony he went through.

"That's something I will never forget and it's one of the things that keeps me here, keeps me trusting in God despite all of the pain and suffering he let's happen down there" but despite all of my efforts to change his mind they don't seem to do any good. "Everyone has to die eventually" I say placing a hand on his shoulder and walking out and back into our bedroom.

Sitting down on the bed in the place he had been just moments before I try to make sense of all he's said and although I agree to a certain extent I don't think I could ever be pushed far enough to fall. Taking a deep breath I go into our bathroom and turn on the shower and strip off all of my clothes. Being met with the feeling of warm water hitting my skin does little to soothe my anxieties but it's the only thing I can think to try right now. 

Listening to the sound of the water pitter pattering around me eventually helps drown out the thoughts that are trying to plague my mind. The what if's that I know will keep me up no matter how hard I'll try to forget. Even if he comes to his senses and we move past this, just the thought alone of watching him fall will never leave my memory. 

Hearing the shower door open startles me for a second but the temporary shock disappears when I feel his arms wrap around my waist. He places his face in the crook of my neck and presses his body flush against mine. "I'm sorry" he whispers and places a few featherlight kisses on my neck. I feel the tension in my body slowly dissipate as his existence wraps around me, reassuring me that he's still right here with me. 

"Please tell me you're not going to fall, promise me you'll stay" I say turning around to face him with his arms still wrapped around me. I sense the hesitation he feels which causes me to doubt him but it's gone as soon as I hear the words I wasn't sure he would've told me just moments ago, clearing all of those worries away. "I'll never leave you" he says not breaking eye contact for a second, showing me his sincerity. I search his eyes and although it's against my better judgement I decide to trust that he'll stay faithful to the promise he's made me. 

As time goes by I can see small changes in his behavior that make me doubt his words all over again. "Baby, aren't you going to work today?" I question when I come out of the bedroom and into the kitchen and see that he looks as though he had just woken up. "Yeah I just slept in, I called Gabriel and told him I'll be coming in late" he says giving me a sleepy smile, reassuring me that he's taken care of everything. 

"You sure you're feeling alright? This is the third time this month that this has happened to you. Do you need me to start waking you up, because I wouldn't mind" I ask walking up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist while he continues to makes himself breakfast. "It's okay Honey, I'll try to be more responsible. Now go, don't you have to leave for work now?" he says turning to face me and places a kiss on my forehead. 

"Yeah I probably should, I just wanted to check up on you before I did. I'll see you tonight" I say giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, and turn to go but before I can make my way out of the kitchen he pulls me back by my wrist and holds me in place with a hand on my waist and uses the other one that pulled me closer to guide my lips over to his, giving me a more urgent and passionate one that makes me forget about what my intentions had been just moments ago.

"Have a good day at work love" he says leaving my lips, making me chase after his and instead rests his forehead against mine. "I love you" he whispers and gives me one last chased kiss. I blink a few times breaking out of the temporary trance he had me in moments ago and burry my face in his chest. "You're not playing fair" I pout as a result of his affection that would leave me wanting him until I see him next, leaving his chest rumbling in quite laughter. "Is it wrong of me to want to kiss my wife?" he reasons rubbing my back a bit.

"Well...no, but you can't just kiss me like that and expect me to be able to leave you here" I whine a bit, pulling away and scowling at him. "I love you" he laughs and gives me another peck on my pouted lips. "I love you too" I say dropping my head in embarrassment. "Now come on, you don't want to be late to work like me" he says giving my butt a few taps, signaling for me to head out. 

"You're mean" I say and storm off to grab my bag, but before I'm able to leave again he pulls me in once more, this time spinning me and dipping me back into an even deeper kiss this time. "You love me though" he says against my lips once he steadies me back on my feet and quickly runs away into our bedroom before I'm able to scold him again. "Jeon Jungkook!" I yell after him while I hear him laughing down the hallway, amused as always by the reactions I give him from his teasings. "Love you!" is his parting message before I turn to go. 

Once my hand reaches the door nob I can't help but whisper a light "I love you too" before finally departing, knowing he'll hear me regardless of the volume. We've been destined to be together from the beginning of time so no matter how far the other is, our hearts and love remain connected no matter the distance...

Walking in the door after work I notice that all the lights are off which is strange since Jungkook usually gets home before I do. I check to see if he had left me a note which I thankfully find pinned up on the fridge telling me he'll be home around seven, staying a little bit later to make up for going in late this morning, accompanied by a cute little bunny character that he makes sure to draw at the ends of all of his notes to me. This one accompanied with a banner saying 'I'll love you forever and always'. 

I put it back up on the fridge, and can't help but smile, imagining him taking a little extra time making sure it's perfect with his big doe eyes and soft lips parted in concentration. Some may like huge gestures and declarations of love but for Jungkook and I, it's the little things that we do for each other everyday that really count. 

I wait until around six o'clock until I start on dinner for us so it'll be ready by the time he gets here. But as seven comes and goes I start to get a bit worried about if something had happened to him. I finally decide to check the bracelet that we share that shows each other our location and I see that he's close to the ruins from the war and I feel myself start to hyperventilate and rush out the door. 

Flying over to get to him sooner I find him putting on a necklace that had been created for those who wish to fall and I call out to him. "Jungkook please stop, what are you doing?" I ask walking towards him with my already tear streaked face with the tears that seem to never end. "You weren't supposed to find out like this..." he trails off, clearly still conflicted with what his decision will be. "Just step away from the ledge over there and let's talk about this okay?" I plead beckoning him over and back to safety. 

"There's nothing to talk about, it's been done already. I just need to-" "No! Stop! Don't you dare finish that!" I say finally raising my voice at him. "You promised me, you promised that you wouldn't leave me! You told me you wouldn't fall!" I plead, walking towards him but every step I make towards him he takes a step back, closer to the edge so I stop in my tracks when I realize he's serious about this. 

He makes his way over to me and for a moment I think that he might've changed his mind. As soon as he get's close enough he pulls me in and kisses me. I sob into the kiss feeling a sense of comfort and he rests his forehead against mine, breathing in my sent before whispering "I love you". I open my eyes to look into his but notice that they're still closed and before I'm able to say it back he utters the words that will break my heart over and over again.

"I'm sorry" are the last words he utters to me before he runs back to the edge and jumps off, tucking his wings in close to his side to prevent them from catching his fall. I scream and run over to the edge hoping to stop him but I'm too late. The last image I will ever see of my husband is his form plummeting to earth. His beautiful wings that had started out a pure white turning grey, continuing to get darker the further he falls, signaling the transformation has started.  

He's fallen, and there's nothing I can do to bring him back.

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[books-and-catears]

"I Used to Love You Actually..."

<- Brothers

(Thanks for this ask @r-u-n-e! It was so fun to write!)

It was just another day at the Demon Lord's castle. Just another tea party. And maybe it was because Luke wasn't there, that the topic of discussion grew that heavy.

Simeon was talking about a book he'd read recently. "It truly speaks of sadness of another kind. Not borne of death, war or illness. Simply of slowly losing love for something you once adored."

"Indeed. Falling out of a love is such a painful affair." Diavolo shakes his head, "My heart aches at the thought of it."

"Perhaps being the receipent is harder. Imagine waking up next to someone you've loved and known all this time, only for them to open their eyes and see that it's not the same." Solomon glanced at you. "They no longer look at you the way they used to."

"That would be terrible thing to see indeed." Barbatos poured some more tea into your half-empty cup. "Have you ever had such an experience, MC? To have loved and lost love for someone?"

You sipped from your cup slowly. There was no point in hiding it now anyway. You closed your eyes and answered, "Funny you should ask, because it was one of you, actually."

Who is it?

The silent question hung around in the air. Everyone had stopped moving, with their undivided gaze turned towards you.

It was You.

You simply opened your eyes, to look directly at the one you meant, smiling coyly. He understood.

You cast your eyes downwards and finish your tea accompanied by uncomfortable laughter and lingering pauses. You pretend to glance at the clock and get up to leave.

"It's getting late. I should go before the brothers come running. Thank you for having me."

Solomon

"Come, I'll walk you home." It's not an offer you are allowed to refuse. When have you ever been able to change his mind once it's made up?

"Sure." You accept. He slows himself down to keep pace with you, as he always does. He usually fills the silence with his many stories and questions. Tonight he has ony one.

"Have you ever felt the loss of something you never knew you had?", he stopped in his tracks abruptly. You looked up at him to see his pained smile. "It's not a very nice feeling."

"Not quite. But.." You fidgeted with something around your neck. You held up a vial shaped locket attached to your necklace. Something blue glistened inside.

"...I know what's like to almost lose myself to someone who didn't need me. I'd argue that's just as bad." You detached the vial from your necklace and handed it to him.

Solomon's eyes grew wide in disbelief. It was a face you rarely saw on him. "This is ..this is Liquid Time."

"Yes. The very same one which cursed you with immortality." You smiled, "I was planning to consume it. To keep you company."

"You were considering turning immortal...for me?" He clutched the vial as if it was your hand. With his head spinning in desperation , he stumbled towards you.

"I fell in love with you during my apprenticeship. You were always so kind, whimsical and full of knowledge. I wanted to spend a little more time with you. Not much just a millenia or two." You chuckled. Solomon's face flushed red.

"But I realised how foolish it was. I virtually know nothing about your past. You never trusted me enough to tell me. And besides you already have Asmo, Barbatos and now Simeon and more. Why did I think you're a little lonely just like me?" Your eyes burned and watered.

"Don't hold yourself accountable. I fell in and out of love with you, all on my own. I'm sorry. You can take that vial as my apology." You started walking ahead alone.

"Then would you drink it now if I asked you to?" Solomon held your wrist. "Would anything convince you to drink this?"

"If you really needed me in your life, I'd do it in a heartbeat." How cruel of him to ask such a thing. Love lingers long past it's death. Didn't he know that?

"Good. Because I don't know how to live a life without you anymore." He opened the vial and poured the liquid into his mouth.

Before you could make sense of what he was doing, you were pushed against a nearby tree, his mouth crashing against yours.

You tasted it all, the soft tremor of his lips and the icy cold Liquid Time flowing down your throat. He held onto you for dear life as he made you drink every last drop of it. "What a strange confession of love, Solomon."

Simeon

"I'd like to walk you home, MC." Simeon is already waiting for you at the door. He waits for you to finish putting on your coat, smiles as you make your way outside.

"The tea and sweets were most remarkable today, wouldn't you agree?" He initiated.

The silence between you two was usually comfortable, but not today. Today it was stifling, choking the sanity out of him.

"Indeed it was. Barbatos always outdoes himself." You agreed.

You saw him fidget with his gloves and fix his cape five times in a row and make it more crooked. Maybe you shouldn't have told him.

But there was no going back to unsay it. "Simeon." You called out and turned around. He looked so elated as he said, "Yes, MC?"

"I doubt I need to explain why I fell in love with you. Noone has been more gentle or sweet with me than you." You went ahead and straightened out his cape.

His smile disappeared, his eyes turning solemn. Your heart almost broke again seeing him like that. "But I'm a human, afterall. I couldn't possibly allow myself."

Did you even need to explain further? How Lilith's love for a human lead to her fall, and her demise? Surely, Simeon knew it better than you. He lived through it.

"Lilith's end was much happier than you think." It's as if he read your mind. "She died as a human, holding hands with the human she loved, surrounded by her children and grandchildren."

Simeon's smile was back. "Isn't that the most peaceful end one can have? I'd be the most blessed man alive, if my life ended like that. With you holding my hand."

You were still processing what he said when he took your hand and pulled you closer to him. He pressed a gentle kiss on your lips.

"Meeting someone like you was a miracle. And if by the same miracle, I turn into a human someday...I swear by my heart, I will make you fall for me again."

Diavolo

"I'd like you to stay over today, MC. There are certain things I need to discuss with you." Diavolo placed a hand over yours even as you were about to stand up. How typical of you, Diavolo.

Solomon and Simeon were bid goodbye and Barbatos refused your help when you tried cleaning up the plates and cups. He merely shook his head and pointed upwards, "Young Master is waiting for you, MC."

Diavolo stood at the top of the stairway, wordlessly extending his open hand for you to take. He smiled with eyes full of melancholy. You'd seen it so many times before.

"Let's take a walk around the castle, shall we? I'm sure there are things we missed out on showing you." What a juvenile excuse. But not altogether unbelievable, the castle was gigantic afterall. You chuckled.

It was almost endearing to watch him explain to you stories of the demons in the paintings and then say "Oh my bad, MC." when he realised you are already familiar with it.

He was biding time. You smelled the scent of your favourite Devildom dish from the kitchen. "I asked Barabtos to prepare your favourite for dinner tonight. I also have a gift I'd like to give you."

Or he was doing something even more ridiculous - trying to win back your love. You shook your head at him, overwhekmed.

"Diavolo, really, you need not do all this for a mere human like me. You're the Future King of Devildom. I'm not half as deserving of all this time and attention you always keep giving me."

That seemed to hit a nerve. His smile faltered as he squeezed your hand. "You should come see your gift first then."

He took you to the throne room, two seats gleamed under the lights instead of one. "Take a seat, MC." How could he be so persistent without raising his voice, you wonder.

You did as he asked. "Now, close your eyes." You obeyed him again. You felt something slightly heavy being put on your head. You touched it. Solid, metallic and engraved with patterns and jewels. A crown.

"Diavolo I couldn't possibly-" He shut you up with a kiss, urgent and manic. All your feelings bubbling over, you ended up wrapping your arms around him.

"If the only reservations you have against me, are our difference in blood and status, let me show you how I slay anyone who objects to you. You have been nothing but capable and worthy eversince you've arrived. Noone is more worthy to be mine."

Barbatos

"I have something to show you, MC. Could you stay a little longer?" Barabtos whispered to you at the door. His voice and proximity - your heart skipped a beat. You nodded.

You bid goodbye to the others and Diavolo excused himself for he had a mountain of paper work left to do. "Right this way, MC." He offered his arm. You took it.

How often is it that you get him like this? It's so rare to be just him and you, with no impending duties or rush. "It's nice to see you relaxed like this..." You said, leaning into his shoulder.

He smiled and lead you to his quarters. "Come take a seat." He offered and you sat down on his bed. "What is it you wanted to show me then? Is it in here somewhere?"

He kneeled on the floor before you and cupped your face, his gloves soft against your skin. "Yes it is. But before that I'd like to continue our discussion from teatime. Who was it MC? Who is it you loved?"

You tried to avert your gaze. "You know who it is. Don't pretend as if you don't know..." Barbatos merely shrugged. Such a tease. He wouldn't rest until he heard it from you.

"It's you...it was you from the beginning. Kind, gentle, talented and loyal to a fault. Secretly playful even. You are so perfect in every way, how could I not?" Your eyes glistened at how badly you wanted him.

"And I know it's stupid okay? I know you have your duties and sworn loyalties. You must be so tired each day. I would only burden you further...and a future between us is impossible..."

"Impossible you say? I'd beg to differ." He looked to his side, gesturing at a door. You followed his gaze and watched the door open. It took your eyes a minute to adjust to see the vision inside.

You gasped. "No way...it couldn't possibly be.." Barbatos took his place next you, holding you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. "Oh but it is. Look, it's our wedding day. And everyone's there to celebrate us."

"You look so happy..." You pointed at his face. He chuckled into your skin, spreading warmth in your heart. "I'm always that happy with you around. Now won't you renew your affection for me again?"

[jklovesfandoms]

I CAN'T SLEEP, AND MY BRAIN WON'T SHUT UP, SO HERE WE GO BOYS

Ricky Potts deserved to have a mobility aid for the whole show (homeboy literally had crutches for basically his entire life, in the old licensing) bc as someone who uses a mobility aid when his ankle pain gets too much to walk with, I'd know that HOMEBOY WOULD STRUGGLE AT LEAST A LITTLE TO GET USED TO WALKING UNASSISTED! Plus I want to see SABM with crutches, it'd literally be amazing. (Yes, I do have a plan to film a dance video for SABM with my mobility aid and in cosplay in the hopefully near future, why do you ask?)

Why is Noel the most romantic boy in town? MISCHA IS STANDING RIGHT THERE, KARNAK!!! Jk, I love both of them, and while I understand why they each have their own "___est/most _____ person in town" I firmly believe that Mischa Bachinski deserves that title.

Also, I may be aroacespec, but like... Man, I'd kill to be Talia or Mischa, like imagine feeling that much love in your heart, and knowing that someone holds that much love for you, just :)

Also, Mischa's speech at the beginning of Talia literally HAD to be his wedding vows. They fit perfectly, and tbh, made me cry the first 5 times I watched the bootleg. Just the pure passion, and love, and joy Misha has for Talia, and how he represents that in his vow-like speech genuinely made me tear up and sob. Once again, aroace over here, literally have had romantic and sexual attraction explained to me SO MANY TIMES, and full on didn't get it until I watched and heard the pure happiness and joy in Mischa's voice during that speech :,) I love him, so much

Constance is literally an amazing character (along with the rest of the choir, literally every single character in this show is amazing) and she deserved better! In the current licensing (which yes, I get it, people don't like it, but hey, it's really good live, don't cut it down before it starts) she's literally amazing, and so kind the entire show, and honestly really just done with Ocean being Ocean, which is really funny. Also, idc about what people say about the current licencing, the preplanned improv group was the funniest shit I've seen. Especially the "Oh, heroin? Okay... Ooh cocaine? If I must! Bath salts for everybody!" That's so funny, and it's even more funny when it's a performance and not just a line on a script. Also, her bumper has actually made me cry so many times. Like, I had to pause the (totally.... Totally legal) bootleg to sob my heart out for several minutes.

Anyways, my alarm to go to school goes off in 3 hours, and I've not slept yet, so let's see how exhausted I am, especially since I have a 14 hour day tomorrow (today?) Gn!

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Watched the first Paw Patrol movie with my dad, this time entirely in Brazilian dub (first time I watched was entirely in English), in the early hours past midnight today. Have the best of his reactions. Honestly, most were the same as mine when I watched the movie for the first time too, so let's go XD

"How did he SEE that tiny turtle up ahead???? Oh geez, there goes the bridge."

"I decree this trucker as the only sane person in the entire movie and the movie didn't even start for real yet." "Dad, he spilled his ice tea or whatever was that on himself." "It was the road's fault." "........ Ok you got a point."

"Lary, pause." "They look cute sleeping, right?" "They look like us after we eat. Post-dish depression." (It's our personal pun with "post-birth depression") "Tag yourself, I'm Marshall." "I'm Chase. Your brother is... What's this one's name again?" "Zuma? LMFAO YES HE IS"

"When did he have time to get this thing built?" "Who knows. I always joke that he's out there spawning stuff at will." "Are his parents like millionaire or something?" "No one knows about his parents or family, not even the official website gives any info on that." "HOW DOES HE PAY FOR ALL THIS--" *Cue Skye asking the same thing and Ryder responding* *Dad chokes on nothing and I have to pause so he can cough it out and drink some water*

"Oh fuck. He's-- He's lighting up all the fireworks." *Stops what he was doing in the living room to pay full attention* "THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD."

"Sure, block the roads to launch the cars. This is so HotWheels. They have THEIR OWN LANE."

"WELCOME TO THE BIG CITY, PUPS. WE HAVE LARGE ROADS AND WE STILL HAVE TRAFFIC JAM. YOU'LL LOVE IT."

"Isn't-- Isn't Chase their POLICE dog?" "Yeah" "Chase why are you ALLOWING this, how many traffic laws did they JUST BREAK"

"Sweet Jesus, don't mess with Marshall. He's got a mean cannon and he's LOVING it."

"Wait, Liberty's a street dog?" "Yup" "I thought she had an owner. So she's like one of those lovely strays who make friends with just about everyone they cross paths with." "YUP"

"... What the actual fuck is wrong with Humdinger?" *Shrugs* "He shouldn't be allowed to run for elections on anything."

"Oh no, Chase froze. Looks like those panic attacks you used to have." "........ You remember those too, huh" "Yeah. You made me freeze a lot too. I didn't know what to do with you so I'd freeze like that too." "Oh."

"There goes Marshall saving the day again. I see why you like him too." "He's cute." "I like his fire truck. Are you going to buy his toy too?" "You bet it." "Nice. As you should."

"Okay now I'm afraid of Liberty." "Why?" "Did you see how sure she was about her bait plan?" "Yeah?" "SHE'S GONNA HAVE THE TIME OF HER LIFE MESSING UP WITH HUMDINGER I'M CALLING IT"

"YUP I CALLED IT"

*Liberty calls Delores a toilet brush* "OUCH THAT WAS BRUTAL I LOVE HER EVEN MORE NOW"

"Literal prison BREAK. Nice." *Thumbs up to the TV*

"Aw that was cute. Ryder is a good boy."

"That thing is sucking way too many clouds."

"THAT THING IS SUCKING WAY TOO MANY CLOUDS."

"THIS IS GONNA CAUSE A STORM, RIGHT?"

"YUP CALLED IT."

"Omg she's so excited HER FACE IS SO CUTE! Repeat this entire scene please."

"GODDAMMIT RYDER YOU'RE SO MEAN LAUNCHING HER LIKE THAT ASUASHAUSHAUSHAUSHAU"

"Why is her number 22?" "Ryder numbers the vehicles, not the pups." "So they have 21 vehicles before hers." "Yup." "How many are there?" "Last I checked, last one was an Aircraft Carrier ship, number 25." "Wow."

"Did-- Did Zuma just BREAK his-- Oh, it's a boat too. Two-in-one. Ryder DOES really think of everything, huh?"

"Okay that was nice, I thought we wouldn't get to see Zuma doing anything in this entire movie at all." "Aquatic rescue dog in the big city, right?" "Yeah it's not exactly his natural habitat." "I feel him." "... I forgot you were a beach kid." "In my heart I still am."

"PULL THE LEVER, KRONK!!!!!" *Hysterical laughter* "OKAY HE DESERVED THAT."

"Chase KNOWS how to drift-- MOTORCYCLE???-- DRIVING UP THE WALL???????" *Slowly clapping for the entire scene*

"Is he afraid of heights? He didn't seem to be when he rescued the trucker and I see him doing a lot of stuff in the show." "I think it's not the height itself, it's mostly the panic remembering the times he failed at these tasks." "Trauma, then." "Yeah."

"Is he gonna-- Yup. Spirit jump. Of course." (For reference, the leap of faith scene from the movie "Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron")

"Okay now I'm afraid of Skye too-- Did the clouds just went POOF." "Yeah they did." "Damn, we just had such a badass scene, it killed the badassery."

"Ouch the helicopter-- DAMMIT ROCKY AHAHAHAHAHA"

"Awwww Liberty! That's my girl. Nice." "That's literally the name of the song that was playing when she was riding her new scooter for the first time." "Perfection. So she officially joined the team?" "Yeah I didn't get there yet but she's in the show after the movie came out too." "Did they do that because there was only one female pup in the show?" "Actually there's Everest too, that Husky Siberian! But she doesn't live with Ryder and his pups, she was adopted by the guy who lives in the mountain. In the main team, yeah, it's only Skye." "Still too few girls, they need more." "Tell me about it..."

[twoset-updates]

[270223 词不达意的劳拉 weibo post]

tl;dr: this fan met eddy in a cafe and got to chat with him. translation below (it's quite long but very sweet)

I was helping Twosetter friends in Singapore get tickets [for the Twoset vs Davie show], and I was lucky enough to get a spot ahead in the queue. You could only buy a maximum of four tickets with one account, and she needed three. I thought I shouldn’t waste the luck, so I decided to buy four anyway. At the time it was an impulse decision; I hadn’t even decided whether I’d let someone else have the ticket, or go to the concert myself. So although I had the ticket, I hesitated for a long time thinking whether I should go after all. For one thing, Twoset wouldn't be the only ones performing, and for another, borders had just reopened. Time would be tight to get a visa, and air tickets and hotels in Singapore aren’t cheap, either.

Just like that, Lunar New Year passed. When my friend asked me what I would be doing with the extra ticket, and if I needed help finding someone to take it, I thought of Boss Yang’s “just do it”. Even if it wasn’t for Twoset, I hadn’t been overseas in three years. Recently I had been troubled by certain comments from some people, so I might as well treat it as a vacation to relax. So I applied for the visa, and told myself that I would go if I managed to get it. As it turned out, I really did end up getting it.

I won’t elaborate too much on the performance itself. It was my first time seeing Twoset live, and my first time meeting Twosetters in person, so I was really happy. I felt that the more talented Twosetters are, the more humble they are. They’re all really friendly, too. Someone even brought cookies they had baked (I brought them back with me and still can't bear to eat them). It was like a grand exchange of things everyone had made.

So many things were exchanged

I was also happy to visit the places where Twoset had shot videos, the National Museum of Singapore, Victoria Concert Hall, Merlion Park, the mall where Davie pretended to be tailing Twoset—so many places. I also ate and drank lots of delicious things. Out of all the fans who had flown in, I might be the one who stayed the longest in Singapore. I thought the trip would end just like that, but I didn't expect that the day I was to fly back home, I got a huuuuuuuuge surprise.

In retrospect, meeting Eddy was such a coincidence, it felt like fate. I had only wanted to get a coffee to go from this cafe, and was planning to eat at another restaurant. But when I went in, the staff asked if I wanted to eat in or takeaway, and for some reason, I said I would eat in. The cafe was pretty full, and I was brought to a seat quite far inside the cafe. Then I ordered my meal and the food arrived, and just as I had finished taking photos and was about to start eating, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walk by me to wash their hands. I glanced at them, and got a shock. Was that Eddy?! But I didn't dare to stare at them directly, so I just observed them through my peripheral vision.

The person walked by my table again after washing their hands, and I only saw their side profile and back. Those glasses, the brick red T-shirt from the Christmas video, black skinny jeans, and white Gucci sneakers—who could that be other than Eddy?! I watched as he walked to the seat right by the entrance and sat down.

I was calm on the outside, but on the inside: AHHHHHHH HELP! When did he come in?! Should I go say hi? What if he ate and left quickly! But I thought, I'd be flying back in the afternoon, and I might never get another chance like this. So I took a deep breath and walked towards the entrance.

He was eating alone (I was so lucky; if he had been discussing something with someone else, or if he was with a friend, I would probably have walked back to my seat as I wouldn't dare to disturb him), and had ordered a coffee. On the chair opposite him he had placed his backpack, and there was a large notebook on the table. When I reached his table, he realised I was there, and stopped eating to look up at me. For about two seconds, we just looked at each other silently, neither of us saying a word.

(Me, internally: say something! Don't be such a freak!)

(For the below conversation, it happened in English, unless mentioned otherwise. {} indicates actions, expressions, and additional explanations, and () indicates my thoughts.)

Me: OMG Eddy

E {realised I was a fan so he was a little cautious but smiling}: Hey hello!

Me: OMG, can I sit next to you? {The table next to him was free}

E: Sure, do you want a photo?

Me {nodding vigorously}: I actually came to see your performance, but I'm flying back this afternoon. Actually, this is the last place I'm going to before I head to the airport {I can't stop talking when I'm nervous, sorry, I don't know what I was saying}

E {his tone of voice was very gentle}: Oh where are you from? What's your name?

Me: I'm Laura, from Shanghai, China {I sat on the seat next to him, and turned to face him}

EDIT: I forgot to mention, amidst all this I also asked if he remembered, during the video they filmed in Taiwan about giving fans gifts, I'd asked Lisa to pass him a gift from me. (None of us knew whether Lisa would be chosen, but I told Lisa I'd send the gift to her anyway, and if she wasn't chosen it would be my Christmas gift to her. I'm thankful to Lisa for being such a nice person and agreeing to my request.) [I told him,] I gave him and Brett a Mario luggage tag each, did he remember, those were actually from me. He said, "Oh yea yea I remember that gift." (He really remembered, I'm so happy)

Then Eddy talked a bit about Shanghai with me. He said he'd been to Shanghai, and I couldn't resist teasing him about when he said "Shanghai Stock Exchange" [T/N: during Landmark Charades] (Eddy internally, probably: Why won't the fans from Shanghai give me a break about this). He seemed like he was cringing at himself (super cute!). He said he really didn't know why he said it during the video, and I asked if it was because the tour guide had brought them there when he was in Shanghai? He said he'd actually never been there, and had only been to the Oriental Pearl Tower. I told him he should come to Shanghai and see the Shanghai Stock Exchange, the building is really quite magnificent. I said, "please come to Shanghai, come to China, we fans in Shanghai really look forward to you visiting," and he said they'd look into it. (I know he was just saying it though; it seemed like it would be difficult for them to come to Mainland China.)

At one point, I apologised for my bad English, and he said, in Mandarin, "it's okay, we can speak in Mandarin too." But I kept speaking in English to him (I have no words for myself, I could have listened to him speak more Mandarin!). When he said they'd "look into it" he said it in Mandarin [T/N: original phrase is 再研究一下看看].

I told him his Mandarin is really good, and joked that Brett's sucks, and he laughed. But I hurriedly added that Brett's pronunciation is really good, and with his usual serious/earnest expression, he nodded, saying, "Hm, that is true." I said Brett seems like a pronunciation prodigy—previously there was a German fan who said his German pronunciation was good (and there was a German fan who watched the show with us this time who said the same). Eddy said that is indeed the case, as Brett had a lot of friends from Germany when he was in Europe. But I told him that since he could understand Mandarin puns, it was really impressive too. He smiled bashfully after being praised. (So so so cute!)

Then I suddenly remembered that I had interrupted his meal, and I was worried whether he would have other plans later in the day, so I asked him. I said, "I'm very sorry I interrupted your meal, I don't know if you have any other plans later, is it okay?"

He very seriously looked at his watch, and really thought for a bit, and only then did he tell me he actually did have something on later, but it was alright as there was still a bit of time, and we could continue chatting for a while. {He didn't immediately say "it's okay", and didn't take the chance to end the conversation either; he's really a sincere and nice person.}

At that moment, he suddenly pointed at my right shoulder, and said, "This is really cute." I took a second before I realised he was referring to the violin earrings I was wearing that day. I said, "Yes, this is for the violin gang." He said, "Yea!", and I replied, "I'm part of the piano gang though." He smiled and said, "Oh, that's great." I said, "But a lot of times I'm lazy and don't practice," and I took the chance to ask him if he would sign a mini metronome. I told him I'd actually bought it at Synwin the previous day (and luckily I had it in my bag as I was afraid it would be damaged [if I kept it in my luggage]). He agreed and asked if I had a marker. I said, "Yes, I even have a gold autograph marker." He said, "Cool," and wrote "Go Practice" for me. As he did so, he toyed with the metronome a little, and said, "I didn't know there were mini metronomes like this, it's really cute." I asked (greedily) if he could address the autograph to me, and he checked again that my name is Laura. It's actually a really common name, and I thought he would just write it straight away, but he was considerate and still asked me how to spell it. (He's so nice.)

He even added a emoji, really cute

Alright, I'll "Go Practice"

Because I had to take the metronome and autograph marker out of my bag, I had picked my bag up from the ground, and he noticed that my bag had two pins on it (Puganini and Meowzart pins from the SSO; a Twosetter in Singapore had mailed it to China for us). He said, "Oh, this is cute," and I replied, "Yeah, It's from the SSO," and he said he knew, but he only knew they had made Puganini pins and not Meowzart ones. {He really pronounced the "meow" sound, it was cute.} I said, "Yeah, and it so happens that it's Paganini and Mozart (referring to him and Brett), what a coincidence." He agreed.

My SSO Puganini and Meowzart pins.

Then I remembered that I had made three headbands for the concert—one for Twoset, and two other Paganini and Mozart ones (because I had thought those characters would appear during the show)—and I still had them in my bag, so I hurriedly took them out to show him. First I showed him the TwoSet Violin one, and I told him I'd even glued on LED lights by hand, and turned the lights on to demonstrate. It seemed like he was happy about it but also thought it was a little embarrassing. He hid his face in his hands (ahhh so cute). Then I showed him the Paganini and Mozart headbands, and said, "These don't have lights though." He said they were really cute, and I told him the Mozart one has rabbit ears because Mozart had made the rabbit ear gesture, and the Paganini one has devil horns. Then I paused, and asked if he wanted the headbands. (I thought I'd just ask.)

TwoSet Violin (I put the LED lights on by hand, sorry for the poor craftsmanship)

Paganini (I originally wanted to add lights too, but I gave up afterwards)

Mozart

Unexpectedly, he said, "Sure!" He took them from me, and said, "I'll give this {the Mozart one} to Mozart Brett." Then he wore the Paganini one himself ahhhh (I was so stunned in that moment, I completely wasn't expecting him to take the initiative to wear it, so I just dumbly stared while we continued to talk). After about five seconds, I realised he might feel awkward wearing the headband, so I asked if he wanted to take it off for now, wasn't it awkward? Then he suggested that we should take a selfie first (I completely didn't think that he himself would suggest a selfie with the headband), so he could take the headband off after the selfie, because it did feel awkward after all. (Ahhhhh I'm sorry I keep saying this, but he was so cute when he was being bashful ahhh)

Paganini Eddy is so cute and looks so good!

After the selfie, I told him I was in too much of a rush this time to finish lights on all the headbands, so if they came to Shanghai, I would make a full set of headbands with lights for them, and he said, "Deal!" (So, please come for real TAT)

That was almost it, but just then, I remembered that a while ago a lot of people were curious if they had ever tested which Hogwarts house they were in? At first, he didn't really get what test I was talking about, but when he understood, he said that they'd never done the test.

E: Do you think the test is fun? Should we do it?

Me {nodding}: It's really fun, I think you guys can try it.

E: Which house do you think I'd be in?

Me: I think you're Ravenclaw

E: I think I'm Ravenclaw, too

Me {quietly}: I'm also Ravenclaw (shameless)

E: What about Brett, which house do you think he's in?

Me (I didn't think he would bring up Brett on his own): Hm...... I think he's either Gryffindor or Slytherin

E: Oh? {He seemed to be surprised that I chose two houses; I'm guessing the one he was surprised about was Slytherin.}

Me: Gryffindor because he's very courageous, but Slytherin because he has a realistic {I said it in English and Mandarin} side as well. [T/N: original word for "realistic" was "现实"]

E: Oho, Brett, Slytherin, hehehehehe {a teasing laugh} (I thought, does he think that Slytherins are villains, so he thinks it's funny that a fan thinks Brett is a villain?)

Really, I took up quite a bit of his time, and I apologised a few times throughout the conversation, but he amiably said that it's alright. He listened to me patiently, replied to me earnestly, and fulfilled all my requests. (Now that I think about it, it might be because I told him in the beginning that I would be flying back to Shanghai in the afternoon, that he was very forgiving of me, and for that I'm very, very thankful to him.

P.S. Eddy is more handsome and good-looking close-up than in videos; his eyes are round and bright, his iris and sclera are clearly defined, he looks here and there when he's thinking, and he has double eyelids on both eyes. Sob, he's really cute (for the millionth time)

Finally, he really was like he said: a very gentle listener. At the start of the post, I mentioned that I was feeling troubled, and part of it was for reasons related to my work. There were some issues that I couldn't figure out an answer to, and in the course of my conversation with him I couldn't help but tell him some of it (it's strange, he has the power to disarm people). He patiently and carefully listened to my troubles, and in reply, he didn't simply say something like "you should just do it," but instead he said that it was a tough problem indeed. I told him that that's why I'm grateful to them for making videos and performances that inspired me, and he told me, "If you decide to do it, you can do it."

Me: ......well, since you've said that, I have to do it now.

At this point, I guess I can't get out of the fandom anymore...... It feels like all the challenges I faced in making this trip to Singapore happen were worth it. In the process, I received a lot of sincere help from Twosetters, and I think I did my best to help them sincerely as well. As expected, sincerity is really the solution to everything. I guess that's how it is with Twoset, and this community that formed around them. I think that's one thing about Twoset that differs from others, the most special thing: they brought together this amazing, talented community. It seems if you treat others with sincerity, and have a little luck, you'll be able to make your wishes come true.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

I'm Saying It Now

My best friend's funeral was on December 15; slightly over 2 months ago. His death was brutally unexpected, and he had a distanced and (perhaps overly) private, if not strained, relationship with his family and with his partner of over 20 years, so it was clear at the services that not much was carefully planned, or crafted to what A would have wanted. Honestly, no one likely knew what he'd want at his funeral; I doubt anyone ever discussed it with him. Or rather, I doubt he ever discussed it with anyone. Not that he lived his life in reckless denial of the realities of mortality; just that he didn't open up to many people about anything, including people he was 'supposed' to be supremely close to, like his parents, or his partner. I know he wasn't discussing it with his kid; too morbid and anxiety-inducing. And he never talked about it with me, either, likely for the same reasons. I'd told him countless times over the decades of our friendship, in not-quite-jesting ways, not to die. 'Don't die.' 'You better not die.' 'Don't fucking die, man.' 'You're not allowed to die.' 'Don't die on me.' 'You can never die.' He usually came back at that with, 'I'm not planning on it,' or, 'I'm trying my best not to,' or, '10-4, boss,' or a couple of times even, 'Jennifer, Jesus Christ, you're so fretty.' So, probably obviously, we never had a bestie chat during a viewing of NCAA tournament basketball that went, 'So in the event of my death, I want to be cremated and my ashes shot into space, and I want you to read this section from Marcus Aurelius's Meditations, and if any ex-girlfriends from high school show up, flip them off...'

Anyway, at the services, which were small and short and too religious for A's taste and belief system, and not religious enough for more than half the mourners (his estranged family), the officiant, who didn't know A at all, was full of the vague spiritual platitudes so many people use around death. He said about 1000 empty words and then opened the floor up to people to share about A. One of his aunts got up, sobbing, and said how much she loved A when he was a little boy in choppy, tearful sentences. No one else stood up. Not his father; not his partner; not his son; not his best friend (me). I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand up; I couldn't speak, definitely not off the cuff. It was hard and painful to even be there accepting that reality on any level, and I'm not a huge fan of speaking out loud, even privately and about cheerful things, to even my closest connections. But these are pale excuses, and I'm ashamed of myself for not standing up to speak about my best friend, one of the most important people in my life, one of the greatest loves of my life.

So I'm saying it now.

Saying it here, to you folks, who at least sort of know and care about ME, is I'm hoping equal to, if not better than, saying it to a room full of people who pretty clearly didn't know shit about A. I hope someone there other than his aunt, who probably still saw him as an 8 year old, really cared about him. I hope they were just like me; they cared so much they couldn't verbalize it on the spot.

Here's my eulogy for A; the one I wish I stood up to say.

A was my best friend. He still is the best friend I ever made. He's the friendship in my life that's been the most close and consistent and lasted the longest. He helped me through the hardest part of my life, and he helped me every time I struggled with anything hard, no matter how often I asked. And I often asked. He was the only person for a large portion of my life I ever asked for help with anything. And he always helped. He never once complained about it. I have a vivid memory of being so overwhelmed with a calculus problem once, that I called him, desperate and in tears. "I've been working this problem for over an hour, and I can't get it. I can't get this. I'm going to fail the next test. I'm not going to pass the AP test. I'm not going to graduate college because I'll have to take math, and I'll have to do it without YOU, and I'll fail..." I'd filled up the front and most of the back of a sheet of college ruled notebook paper with figures and formulas; erased and tried again, over and over. To say higher math was 'easy' for A would be a gross understatement. He really could do calculus in his head. It was effortless, sometimes seemingly involuntary, like he could somehow divine answers through magic (or that's how I perceived it). I felt for sure I was bothering him, asking for help (again) on something he thought was boringly simple. Maybe disappointing him, because I needed help with something he thought was boringly simple. He said, "You're way out ahead of yourself and freaking out. WHY did you wait an HOUR?! Where are you at?" I told him, reading off lines of calculation, sniffing and gasping back more math-panicked crying. "You messed up line 6. Jennifer. You did 50 or 60 lines of extra work. Just call me when you hit the first wall next time. An HOUR. An HOUR and you made yourself CRY. You are not going to fail the next text. (Correct. I didn't.) You are going to pass the AP exam. (Correct. I did.) Even if you have to take college math, you'll pass. You can do it without me. (I'll never know if he was right that time; I didn't have to take college math; because he got me through AP Calculus alive.)" Higher math wasn't really the hard part of my middle school and high school life, though; it was that I was alone in everything, not just calculus homework. My grandparents had passed away, and I was far away from any connections I'd made as a child, without cell service or internet. At a time when I had no one to count on and no meaningful connection, I met A. He WAS my support system in its entirety for almost a decade. And he never let me feel like a chore. In fact, he usually seemed HAPPY to help me. He's helped me through a lot of other stuff that was way more difficult than advanced mathematics. Today is the hardest day of my life, saying goodbye to him. The most difficult thing I've ever struggled with. I'd rather do calculus problems all day, every day, in perpetuity, than say goodbye to him. I'm aching to call A so he can help me do it. A, I'm going to miss you every day of what's left of my life. And not just because you aren't here to walk me through the hard stuff. The pieces of me that you shaped and salvaged are pretty huge and consequential. I can't do the math that quantifies how much I'm missing now. I can just tell stories. I was always secretly hoping you'd tell me one day that you were getting married and you'd say 'fuck it' to tradition, and ask me to be your best man. The only speech I'd ever be happy to give. I had a sappy literary quote all picked out for the hypothetical toast. But I'm saying it now instead, to close a speech I am devastated to give and never wanted to give. C. S. Lewis, in The Last Battle, the final book of The Chronicles of Narnia, wrote,

"Now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

I always thought that was a great quote for a wedding; a hopeful wish for the beginning of a loving commitment in marriage. But he wrote it as a speculation of the afterlife. I know neither of us ever had a lot of confident or overt faith in an afterlife, but damn I sure hope you're in a happy story now, in which every chapter is better than the one before. I love you. That won't ever change. I hope we meet again some day in a happy chapter.

[iheartchv]

If you were still doing COD matchups, I would love one if it's not too much trouble.If not, no worries, can just say I love your stuff so far and keep up the good work!

Thanks so much if you have the time for it, but thanks either way if you're too busy! Cheers!

I'm a big fan of Soap, Ghost, Roach, and Keegan, but if any other characters stand out to you, I'm down!

I'm a 5'2 plus-sized woman working on getting my master's degree in writing and editing. I'd love to be an author and maybe a professor or documentarian someday. I love reading, photography, cooking/baking, and while I'm too poor to travel right now I'd love to do it in the future! I'm a history buff, a gamer, and a literature nerd that is laughably full of trauma/CPTSD but I'm doing alright so far.

My friends lovingly call me a "doormat" because I'm too nice, but really I just like to give people a chance and avoid snap judgements. I'm a very patient person and I think long and hard before making big decisions, although I can also be prone to impulse buys and jumping into things to avoid giving myself the chance to psych out.

I've often been told that I'm a very stoic individual with flat intonation, making me often look angry or bored even when I'm having a good time. I'm the kind of person who really comes to life when I'm with people I care about or talking about the things I'm currently fixated in. It always shocks people when they speak to me and I'm comfortable enough with them to joke around and let my "weird energy" out. I once crawled on my friends floor in college pretending to be a French tortoise because she said that I smiled like a koopa troopa when I was being devious. Je suis un tortue... She never lets me forget.

I also have a tendency to laugh hysterically when stressed or flustered and it has been described as sounding like a "maniacal drugged up clown."

🤡

// thanks ^^ I hope you like your matchup~

🤔hmmm... I match you with...

Keegan P. Russ

I think you'd be paired with Keegan

He may be quiet but with the right person he shows another side of him

That's where you come in

One night, you were being followed by someone

Luckily Keegan happened to be nearby and told the guy to scram

When he turned around to you, were met with the most gorgeous blue grey eyes... on such a handsome face

"You okay?"

"Yeah..." you'd give a nod

His voice made your heart jump and skip a beat

He offered to walk you home the rest of the way

He notices that you're carrying a book bag, figured you were probably a college student

"What're you studying?"

You tell him what your plans were for college and the future

Whether he was interested or was just listening to you, it felt nice to talk to someone

There was something about him you couldn't ignore....

He asks for your name, and he tells you his

You got so carried away with talking that you didn't realize you were home

He stops at your doorstep

You thanked him, trying not to show how bashful you felt

He just small smiled and replied,"Good night, miss", watching you walk inside before leaving

Every now and then you'd run into Keegan and he'd give you a smile that made butterflies tickle in your belly

For a local magazine/newspaper, there was a short story section that was looking for monthly stories to be submitted

You took the chance and wrote a short story, Keegan being your inspiration

The way you described the male protagonist had same features and qualities like Keegan... except the name was spelled different

When it was published, and after many compliments from the townspeople and your friends, Keegan read it

The story you wrote wasn't too far from the life he lived being a part of the Ghosts

Since then Keegan started getting close to you

And you didn't mind that at all

As he got to know you, the more silly side of you, he couldn't get you off his mind

He's falling for you...

After telling you his feelings for you, you happily accepted him

Because after knowing more about him, you had fallen for him, too

Now you two are inseparable

Some would say a "cute couple"

Keegan loves having you in his arms

He loves holding you, giving you kisses all over, just being so loving

He's so warm and caring

He didn't care if anyone would make fun of him

All that mattered was you and your happiness

His love gift would be acts of service

He'll do things for you: give you a massage, help you get comfy after a rough day, etc.

If he feels that something is bothering you, he wants to know

"Come on, sweetheart. You can tell me anything"

When your sad, or break down in tears, he will hold you and rock you gently, speaking in a soft, slow voice:

"It's alright. I got you, my love. I have you..."

He'll kiss and wipe your tears away

"You're always safe with me" he'd assure you

"I'm always here for you"

He swears to protect you with his life

If you'd like a love letter from Keegan, or other COD characters, check out my Valentine event💗

[hybeboyenthusisast]

Player One, Player Two: 29. Melt (written)

𝘈 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨-𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴, 𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘰 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘫𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘴. 𝘊𝘩𝘰 𝘠/𝘕 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘢𝘸𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘪𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘰 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘨𝘶𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘺, 𝘒𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘢𝘦𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯. 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨-𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵... 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

Prev / Masterlist / Next

18+, only warning is teasing and you might be mad at me LMAO

WC: 1.2k

When a group of friends fail to set a dress code for their events, this is what happens. Hayoon looked stunning as always, you were dressed up, and Jiho actually wore something other than sweatpants, but... others were basically in their pajamas. Specifically Heeseung, who was actually in his pajamas, Taehyun in sweatpants (God he still looked so good), and B was dressed the same as she always was, in her monotonous outfit. At least Felix and Jeongin were in-between fancy and casual, so at least there was a progression from dressing up to not giving a rat's ass throughout the whole group's clothing choices.

The evening was casual, anyway, but with something to celebrate and an excuse to dress nice, you were happy with your outfit even if you looked ridiculous when standing next to Heeseung. His plaid pajamas were cute, but when he and Jiho waltzed into your apartment that evening, you had rolled your eyes and asked if he even cared about being there.

To which, he scoffed, and responded, "of course I care. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here and I'd be at home, in bed, naked." You scrunched your nose up at his words, waving him and Jiho, who was laughing, inside the apartment.

Everyone slowly trickled in, some arriving quite early, and others arriving later. Again, something that happens when you don't set an exact time. By the time Hayoon had made it to the apartment, B was already tipsy and Jiho was devouring the food. The party wasn't really 'in full swing', as this wasn't one of those crazy parties with booze and loud music, but rather the friend group gathering. But, a gathering sounds lame.

Your apartment wasn't exactly small, but it was a bit crowded with so many people there at once, and you found yourself sweating more than you would like. Almost everyone was engaged in conversation or playing a video game on the TV, so surely nobody would notice if you slipped away briefly just to change into something else.

You quietly excused yourself from all the chatter in the living room, making your way to your bedroom. The plan was to change before anyone noticed your absence, so you didnt even think to close your door.

As you stood in your green and blue bedroom, yanking clothes off your body, you heard a gasp at the exact second that an item of clothing twisted weird and got stuck on your head. Your body stiffened as you realized someone was in your bedroom with you, and you had no idea who. And you also looked like a fool, trapped in your clothing.

"Um, can you help me?" You asked, speaking out into the void, as you had no idea who or where the intruder was. You heard someone clearing their throat, muttering a small confirmation before making their way towards you.

Either they were already nearby or they had long legs, but they reached you quickly. The heat of their body so close to your almost bare body made you shiver. Gentle hands tugged at the fabric until it came loose and was able to be tugged free. Patting your hair down, you glanced over your shoulder to see who was there.

And of course, the man you so desperately wanted was standing right there. You silently thanked yourself for choosing a cute and sexy pair of matching panties and bra, so at least Taehyun didn't catch you in old and ugly undergarments.

You shivered as you felt Taehyun's breath on your skin, neither of you having moved. A small gasp left you as Taehyun's hands firmly grasped your hips, pulling you backwards, closer to him.

"Tae," you breathed out, holding back a moan as Taehyun dipped his head in between the space between your head and your shoulder, his hot breath on the skin of your neck.

You had no idea what he was doing, if this was a dream, or if you were hallucinating because you were drunk off your ass. But you didn't care. You wanted, no, you needed to see where this was going. The growing wetness between your legs was not going to go away on it's own, after all (hopefully).

"Yn," he breathed out in response, his lips hovering just above your pulse point. The proximity made you shiver, wanting to feel his lips on you.

As Taehyun adjusted himself so he was directly pressed against you, you felt his lips brushing against your neck. His large hands moved up and down your sides, coaxing you into relaxing and melting against him. Your hands, idle for too long, grabbed at the gorgeous man taking over all of your senses. One hand grasping his, stopping it on your waist, the other hand slithering up his neck.

You moaned as Taehyun's hips grinded into your backside, highlighting the growing hard-on in his jeans. "Oh my god," you whimpered, melting against his touch and leaning yourself fully into him. The hand you had trapped in your own moved and he had quickly spun you around, his arms wrapping lowly on your hips, fingertips grazing your ass.

"Can I kiss you?" Taehyun whispered, dipping his head down, his lips almost touching yours. You moaned quietly at his words, turned on by his actions and his request for consent. Lips pressed against lips, you gave Taehyun his response, your hands finding purchase in his hair. You stood up on your tip-toes to alleviate some of the height difference, poking your tongue and swiping it across his bottom lip.

Hands groping your ass, pressing you into him, his erection straining against his jeans and pressing into your stomach, Taehyun felt like he was on his way to heaven. Your lips were so soft, so sweet, and he never wanted to stop kissing you. Your tongues gently intertwined at first, testing the waters, before you had a surge of confidence (and arousal) and began kissing Taehyun more passionately. You knew he wanted you; his erection made this pretty obvious, and you wanted him to know you wanted him as well.

You broke from the heated kiss for air when you couldn't last without air any longer, Taehyun immediately diving in and peppering kisses on your neck, sucking softly here and there, trying not to leave any marks but still give you pleasure. You were ready to close your door and lock it, ignore all your friends and surrender yourself to Taehyun. His mind was on the same track, wanting to make you scream his name as he would pound into you, not giving a crap about all your friends just outside in the living room. He would gladly let them listen to how good he would make you feel.

The vibe in your bedroom was much different than the vibe in the living room. Loud laughter from Felix, Heeseung whining like a baby, and Hayoon calling for you, everything that was going on in the apartment came into focus once again.

The heat between you and Taehyun dissipated as you heard Hayoon's approaching footsteps, accompanied by her whining for your attention. "To be continued, love," Taehyun kissed your forehead softly, giving your waist a squeeze. He quickly left your bedroom, closing the door behind him and directing Hayoon back to the living room with everyone.

You pressed a finger to your lips, still tingling from the kisses you and Taehyun shared. You felt electrified, buzzing from whatever the hell just happened. To be continued, definitely; you were eager to melt into him, over and over again.

P1P2 Taglist: @cecedrake2217​ @rencarnationofangel @alyssajavenss @mintxts​​

Permanent Taglist (open): @junnmizz @ashxxgyu​ @igotkpoops​ @xiaoderrrr​ @alyssajavenss @mintxts<3

[vole-mon-amour]

2x04 (sorry for no cut but i need to be able to see the entire post on my blog for certain reasons)

That's my kind of gal.

Why is Nikolai being called Sobachka aka a doggy?

THEY'RE DOING IT???? AHHHH!!! I dislike how they're rushing through CK, but god, it's one of the greatest moments in the book! This makes me smile.

"To all of that", including "Yes, I can't do this without you." That's why I ship them. Jesper is so easygoing. He UNDERSTANDS Kaz. What they share is so special. Jesper wouldn't mind big words, but he'll do just fine without them. I can't stress enough how much he loves him & how it's mutual.

The fact that Jesper fucked up the entire thing in the book, and Kaz didn't say him a word until his patience reached it's absolute limit. Even the physical fight they had in Ck until Colm stopped them. How they brushed it off and continued with their lives, their plan, their relationship.

I just love them SO much. I wouldn't change these two for any other ship in this universe. If I was asked to choose just one ship, they'd be the one.

"Among them, it passed for good luck." <3

NINA. LMAOOO. Honestly, only she can do that. Which is a bit brutal, but also... She knows her worth and he allows her. But also, that woman is loyal and smart. They'll get there eventually.

I really like the scene where David explains to Alina how it all happened. What Darkling has now and how dangerous it is. As it turns out, I just dislike him near Darkling, but overall he seems to be an alright kind of guy.

Me: This is my fav character. Also me: Aww, poor baby suffering. He looks so good while at it.

To be fair, I do have a 'I love me some traumatized characters' tag, after all.

You already did, asshole. Honestly, the fact that he doesn't remember, just like in the book. I can't wait for Kaz's revenge. Get him, my love.

Which also teaches you what? Never trust Pekka fucking Rollins. He'll destroy you and have no regret whatsoever.

(whispers) he's so hot while he's at it. It's so much easier watching the show knowing the books, bc otherwise i'd completely lose my mind over this.

I love him, your honor. The flashback fits so well. The revenge is so sweet when boiling like that. I'm gonna enjoy Rollins' fall.

My booy. <3

"The trick is not to love anything." Because Pekka Rollins once killed what Kaz loved the most. His brother. Yeeeah.

"You'll never find your son in time." I'm a bit disappointed. They wasted the masquerade, the pushed this iconic line from near the end of CK in the middle of the season. What are they doing?

That iconic line, though:

"I want you to remember."

I also find this as a very interesting choice. In the book Inej witnessed Kaz saying that. In here it's Nina and Jesper, which also gives them an understanding of what's going on and what Kaz Brekker really is. I can't say I can complain. It's a smart move. And they nailed this. Even though too early, they nailed this.

I know Kaz wouldn't appreciate a hug, so I'd like to sit next to him and be there for him. And this is the scene that made me want to cry. Oh, Kaz. I love him with all my heart. What a character.

That smile. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. ;_; Yeah, crying now. Also, the fact that Nina looks back at Jesper, asking if it's the right time and Jesper shakes his head. I'm not tired to say that Jesper knows him.

;______; I'm giving this episode 10/10 just for this entire scene. Losing it, besties.

I'm gonna need so many fics after this episode. Fics that address Jesper's feelings of hearing Kaz's story. I'm gonna need Kaz to call Jesper Jordie. I'm gonna need all of that.

Jesper: "I like the chaos. The gamble of Barrel life. Never knowing what comes next." Sooo... you like Kaz. :) Also, I remember people talking about this before (during the books), but isn't it suspicious that Jesper likes Wylan for this reason? Because it very much screams Kaz. VERY much. So again, if Kaz was more available... Kazper is canon, one way or another. So much to explore tbh. I'm full of inspiration again (and I haven't even finished my previous 3 wips :)))

Also, the way Jesper easily goes for a quickie with Wylan, which basically means he'd fuck Kaz if he could. Because all the traits show!Wylan has, it's all (and more) in Kaz already. And Jesper knew Kaz for years, so I think the conclusion is very logical.

I'm not giving this 10/10 bc of how they ruined Wesper. But. This was a very long, but a very good episode. So much important information. I even watched parts with Alina and Nikolai, which is VERY rare for me. I'm usually not interested in that part of the show at all.

This is so far my fav episode, but I'm really disappointed that there was no That Iconic Masquerade Line.

[gumclones]

I know I've already made an ask about Chicle before, but I'd really like to know your thoughts on his relationship with Pb. Mainly because I saw one of your previous posts about how Gumbald wouldn't let a dum-dumified Chicle anywhere near the battlefield during the gumwar, which made me think about how Bonnie had made Chicle fight for the candy kingdom as Crunchy in the episode "Something Big".

first: thank you for the ask! I made this sideblog because I wanted to discuss Adventure Time, so asks like this are feeding the AT-loving gremlin in my brain.

my full response will go under a cut because, as always, I love to talk at length.

so I'd say there are two parts to this: one about Crunchy in Something Big and one about his relationship with Bonnie as a whole! I'll talk about Something Big first.

I think there are a few key differences between the battle vs Darren and the Gum War that explain what happened in the former better than Bonnie's relationship with Chicle on its own. for starters, the Gum War was a planned offense, but Darren and Maja launched a surprise attack on the candy kingdom. it's possible that Crunchy wasn't conscripted so much as already present in the castle, which we know from You Made Me he lives in. it's not like there'd be any place to send him that would be both accessible and safe! on top of that, he's an archer rather than a ground soldier.

another difference is that at the time of Something Big, Crunchy's been around for around eight hundred years already, while Come Along With Me seems to have happened essentially the day after Gumbaldia. it's not clear how many memories Crunchy retains, but as of the end of Gumbaldia he seems extremely disoriented. before the events of Skyhooks II, Crunchy is comparatively much more put together – he probably wasn't actively volunteering to fight or anything, given his not-so-secret goal to never die, but it'd still seem like much less of a disaster to give "normal candy citizen" Crunchy a bow than "hey what's a plan" Crunchy.

the last thing that stands out to me is that Bonnie has more resources than Gumbald! he may have a base of operations, a city-state under construction, and a secret lab, but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have the means or the know-how to put people back together. (he might be able to do it for his cake people, but Crunchy is literally built different, much closer to Gumbald personally, and already the victim of a mistake Gumbald likely blames himself for.)

on to the meat of the question: Bonnie's relationship with Chicle!

I think that Bonnie's relationships with Lolly and Chicle are somewhat colored by Gumbald being… kind of obviously the favorite. I don't think that she necessarily intended this, and I don't think she ever particularly mistreated the other two! (at least, on top of the way that she mishandled things with everyone out of inexperience.) but he's special to her – the "world's greatest uncle" mug was what inspired her to create the three of them in the first place, she didn't have handy presents ready for Lolly or Chicle, and Gumbald is the one she frequently talks about in the present. I think that the three clones were all aware of this on some level, if not necessarily consciously - it's why Gumbald styles himself the leader, I think, and why Lolly and Chicle don't seem to attempt to relate to Bonnie individually outside of the rough "unit" of Gumbald/Lolly/Chicle.

another thing about Bonnie's relationship to her family is that she seems to have started out with at least a loose idea of what role each member would play and baked that into them from the start. I don't think she had very fine control over their personalities, but none of them seems like a fully blank slate when they're awakened, which leads me to believe that they were shaped by her attitudes and feelings about them.

we can see all three of them step into these roles when first awakened by Bonnie! Lolly adopts a maternal persona, Gumbald quite readily accepts his role as "great uncle" (the mug proclaims it so!), and the first thing Chicle does is crack a joke. I think that Bonnie wanted him to be the fun one – not quite a peer, he's still a protector, but closer to her level than Gumbald and Lolly. and this is reflected in how everyone seems to default to seeing him as "the funny one," to the extent that he even lampshades this role in Gumbaldia.

because Chicle and Lolly play more minor roles in Bonnibel Bubblegum, it's a little harder to suss out how they view Bonnie – between the mime comment and the way he buckles her into the car, Chicle implies that he doesn't take her very seriously, but more than that it's not super clear (does he resent her in a fashion similar to Gumbald? does he prefer to ignore her? there's lots of possibilities)!

however Bonnie viewed Chicle at first, her perception of him took a definite turn when he was dosed with the dum-dum solution. I have a lot of headcanons for what Bonnie's life was like between the flashbacks in Bonnibel Bubblegum and The Vault – mostly that Crunchy, Punch Bowl, and Manfried were all very prone to wandering off, ignoring danger, and getting easily bored in a way that forced Bonnie to adopt the kindergarten teacher persona we see in the present day.

she seems to want to keep a close eye on Crunchy in the present day, seen by how he lives in the castle and is the first test subject for her aura visualizer and by the missing poster on Tree Trunks' house in Always BMO Closing. she's also quite fond of him, though – she uses him as her example of how candy people need to be babied and snuggled and both times he seizes power (onscreen, at least) she seems very… chill. she doesn't punish him or even seem particularly mad – at the end of The Dark Cloud she's very casual when she talks about usurping him (contrasted with the scathing glare she gives the King of Ooo in May I Come In?) and at the end of The Pajama War she doesn't even acknowledge that he's seized power or was about to execute Starchy.

on his end of things he seems to enjoy being babied a little, given that he plays along and laughs when she's showing Lemongrab how to interact with candy people and happily cuddles her. (contrast his irritation when Starchy calls him "the new Cinnamon Bun"!) he also seems to be subconsciously aware of his connection to her – when he overthrows the King of Ooo he describes himself as "a true princess, wrought of iron." I think he's definitely aware that he, Manfried, Punch Bowl, and Mr Creampuff are much older than all the other candy people, but I'm not sure how much of a difference he perceives between himself and them on a conscious level.

(I do headcanon that, similar to Jake and Jermaine, he's got a low-level psychic link to Bubblegum, Punch Bowl, Manfried, and possibly Neddy. my main evidence for this is that in The Pajama War when asked to relay what he hears in the closet he describes the VR environment Finn and Bonnie were walking in pretty much exactly. I think that he probably shares dreams with her without either of them realizing what's going on.)

unfortunately, there's not a lot of material to go off of for how they see each other after Skyhooks II! Chicle seems to have mainly thrown himself into reconnaissance and sabotage work, and Bonnie, while she does take him seriously as a threat at the end of Marcy and Hunson, doesn't seem to spare him much thought otherwise or notice his absence on the battlefield. I think this can be straightforwardly attributed to the writers not having been given enough time to fully wrap up the show, though.

I have a lot of self-indulgent headcanons about what direction their relationship might have gone in if the Gum War (including the events of Gumbaldia) had been averted! maybe one of these days I'll write up a summary post about it.

[signalwatch]

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Watched:  10/21/2023

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  Second, I think

Director:  Francis Ford Coppola

Firstly, this isn't Bram Stoker's actual Dracula.  This is Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992).

I very much remember Coppola, with whose work I'd just become acquainted at age 15 or so, announcing he was going to remake the Universal Monster stuff using the source material.  And as a teen, I was jazzed.  Let's kick the dust off, ditch the stuffy 1930's stylings (I'd never seen the movies at this point) and lets make a Dracula for the 90's!  

All I can really remember from that first movie is that it was... a lot.  The reviews were mixed, but everyone was going to see it, and I was in a packed theatre when I watched it myself.  

Honestly, I remember thinking "well... that was a lot.  And I get why the reviews were mixed."  Halloween night of '93, I went to see the original, and was like "oh, wow.  This is rad.  I get why people love this." and, in fact, my interest in horror movie monsters I'd had as a kid was reignited (along with a VHS copy of Phantom of the Opera) to the point where I'm annoying about it to this day!

Over the years, I've not returned to the Coppola movie because (a) I didn't like it all that much to begin with, and (b) there's so many Draculas.  And one gotta catch 'em all.  

Since seeing this back in '92, I've since read the novel, watched the 1930's original many, many times, seen some sequels to that, watched the Hammer films, watched a clutch of other vampire films and Dracula adaptations - including stage plays, read Carmilla, and basically laid down what I think is a solid foundation.

This movie is super strange.

Like, look.  It's got some amazing ideas, and beautiful visuals.  My exposure to the movie in the internet age has been largely through stills and gifs, and given the dedication to the visual that this movie embraces, its a reminder that the film has some stunning photography, FX, design, costuming, etc....  It's an absolute "spared no expense" endeavor.  

I actually love the fact that the movie uses weird edits and dissolves - the peacock feather to the sun, etc... 

You can't ask for a better cast in 1992.  This is a post Silence of the Lambs Anthony Hopkins getting to play all the cool roles, a height of her fame Winona Ryder, Richard E. Grant, Cary Elwes, Billy Campbell, Keanu Reeves, and fucking Tom Waits as Renfield.  And, of course, a young Gary Oldman showing everyone what Gary Oldman can do.

Look, the movie isn't the book, full stop.  Since Lugosi made women swoon in the stage show of Dracula and then in theaters (no, really), the story of Dracula has become weirdly morphed from "agent of Satan slowly murders virgins" to "eternal love story".  

The book provides nothing like the pre-credits sequence to explain why the Count became an agent of the devil other than it sounded like a fun sort of thing to do.  There's no suicide of a wife, no war with the Turks.  There's no attempt to humanize Dracula by giving him a reason he might turn to the forces of darkness with which the audience might sympathize.  

There's just no love story between Dracula and anyone else in the book.  There's Mina having a mix of shocking sympathy for her tormentor (because she's a good person) and a bit of Stockholm Syndrome in the final chapters.   I have read that a lot of the past lives stuff is borrowed from a different Stoker novel about mummies, but it feels straight taken from the Boris Karloff movie The Mummy.  Which makes me wonder what Coppola planned to do for his remake there, had they proceeded as planned.  

There's nothing wrong with making the story a romance - that's what vampire stuff does, I guess.  But Bram Stoker's Dracula essentially turns the story of Dracula into Mina cheating on her boyfriend while he's at work with a dude with no job and a soul patch.  She'll insist they made such a connection (and, ironically, he's also juggling three other ladies she doesn't know about) and she's going to act nuts about it because she's invested so much into her secret little fling when she should write her dude and admit she's banging someone else.

The end result is that no one in the movie is anyone you care about except for maybe Van Helsing.  Mina seems like a dupe, Jonathan is wishy-washy, Lucy is narrative cannon fodder as the horny girl in a horror movie, and the three suitors are stripped of any qualities other than they sure are in the movie, and one has a hat.

Because the movie leans into Mina and Vlad's secret affair, it chews through a lot of plot time and also sets the pacing of the movie somewhat different from the novel.  By necessity, this means - so the movie isn't even longer than what feels like a very, very long two hours - the other characters get some short shrift and plotlines get condensed.  And that's... fine?  

Surely this movie's love affair works for someone out there, just as the Bella/ Edward romance works for a lot of people.  And I'm not opposed to it on its face, I just don't think this movie pulls it off in a way that makes you (a) cheer for the romance or (b) be horrified by Mina's seduction.  It just sorta rolls out, and the dramatic irony of Mina having no idea what's really happening becomes tedious.  And tedious is not good for movies.

I don't blame either actor here (even if sometimes Ryder's Ryderism in her voice gives the game away).  Oldman is maybe at an 8 at his lowest and an 11 for good chunks of the film, but that's what's called for.  Ryder is playing what she's got, but it's hard to know what that is.  We don't get much of who Mina is until she's already in crisis.

What we clearly do get is the idea that this is sexual repression, Victorian style.  And Dracula is supposed to prey on the unspoken horniness of the women - with Mina clearly trying to push Jonathan's Victorian sensibilities, and of which Lucy seems keenly aware as she uses the barest hint of a sexual nature to keep three dudes with options on the line.  

At the time of the movie's release, between fighting prudishness and lots of blood, this was seen by some as a movie for the AIDS/ HIV era, which... I don't think Coppola probably thought about even once.  It's the sort of observation made that is more about how the movie reflects the times, and what the viewer might bring to the film.  I don't think (but don't know) it was made for such a comparison - especially when the novel is clearly about science wrangling with unknown diseases, and the movie skips a lot of that element.  Except...

Our intro to Van Helsing has him discussing syphilis in a medical classroom, and making clear connections between STDs and the moral nature of man, which was quite the rage in the 90's.  I doubt that bit would make the cut in 2023, and it's an odd tie to Van Helsing as mystic scientist and Dracula-chaser. 

Flipping the script of the seduction of Mina is the imprisonment and seduction of Jonathan.  What is curious is that the movie never deals with what Mina knows about Jonathan's time away, how he delivered that info, etc... as it seems she's fully aware of the situation, and  we are robbed of her own reaction.  It's a lot, and she just seems like she's taking it all in stride.  Which, I guess if you've been shtupping a mysterious Eastern prince, you don't make a lot of fuss when your man tells you three hot women forced him into sex daily for a month.

What the movie does offer is spectacle upon spectacle.  And that isn't necessarily wrong.  The portion of the novel that's Jonathan's POV gets really weird, really fast.  But it can be the difference between Jonathan seeing a glimpse of what seems to be wolves in the woods and us seeing Jonathan's wagon from the shoulder POV of wolves, as the movie does.  The suggestion that the count moves unnaturally versus the obvious floating and zipping around the count does on screen that leaves nothing for the viewer to share Jonathan's uncertainty.  But this is a matter of taste.

I do enjoy the "this is a soundstage" look and feel to the exterior shots and the swing-for-the-fences design, including some of the stuff that's a bit risky to try as it can *feel* like it's trying.  The movie really is gorgeous, and there's a reason the stills that people post every Halloween have made me want to revisit the movie.  

Is it scary?  I mean - I think it has its moments.  And it embraces the weirdness of Renfield and Dracula himself as well as any version.  But without really *caring* about Mina or Lucy, the horror of what's happening is more indicated than visceral.  The scariest bit is probably, really, the dudes going into Lucy's crypt, with the first fifteen minutes in Dracula's castle a close second.  There's a lot of space in-between those scenes and after.

What's odd is that this is really considered the other Dracula film, the primary version still the 1931 Lugosi version or the Spanish version.  There have been innumerable versions before and since the 1992 version, but no one really seems interested in just telling the story in the book.  That said, this one is certainly closer than most.  

With endless streaming services, it seems like *someone* would just give it a go.  

By the way, I still think the guy who played the best Dracula in a movie in recent years was Nic Cage in Renfield.  I can only imagine if Coppola had cast his nephew for this what we could have had.

[geralts-yenn]

Writing Questions Tag Game!

I got tagged by @raccoon-eyed-rebel and @peyton-warren! Thank you two! I don't know if it even makes sense for me to answer all this stuff, considering I only started to write in September 22… So please don't judge my boring answers.

What is your absolute all-time favourite idea you’ve ever had? Giving Mikey this whole family of Cavill characters and making them all dorks. It was just a brain fart that appeared when I bing-wrote "pranked" without ever thinking of it before it was written down. And now they all just appear from time to time in my head and I guess we'll see more of them in the future because I'm already font of all of them.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes? No, I don't have written (or maybe published) enough to make people thinking about asking me questions :)

What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave? I love how characters do things that I hadn't even planned for them. Brains are just amazing. And I love interacting with other writers. Talking about characters and scenes, giving comfort when someone's struggling, praising them when they created something that I enjoyed. I found some wonderful friends here that I don't wanna miss anymore. (@raccoon-eyed-rebel @mayloma @deandoesthingstome @fvckinghenrycavill, thank you so much for that!)

The downside of being an author is that I'm so fucking anxious about my writing skills. I'm questioning every bit I write down and probably read every sentence I type down 30 times. And that doesn't help at all but I just can't stop worrying. Thinking that someone else who is more talented should tell that story. And at the moment I hate that I don't have time to write although there are so many things in my head that need to be told. And then when I finally have time to write my head is just completely empty.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create? I love how stories that live in my head for a long time get so much better when I write them down. Suddenly all these little details appear and things fall into place. Something that never happens when I'm just daydreaming.

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing? That you don't need a full plan for a story before staring to write. Just let it flow

What is your favourite story you’ve written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you’d like and can! Well, sadly I haven't finished a multi chapter story at all until now. (Yeah, I know…) But I wrote a book for my daughter and this is probably the story I'm most proud of. I also did the illustrations for that one. But I won't share that online because it's very personal.

What is your favourite out-of-the-box quote? I have no clue. I actually love everything I have ever written, lol

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals? You all don't know him yet. It's Will. He's a CIA agent and he makes some decisions that aren't really professional. And maybe, if I ever find enough time, you're going to meet him and make up your mind about him on your own. Or maybe this whole story will turn out completely different and he's not controversial at all when I'm finished, lol.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think? That girls on tumblr really made you a lot more confident, wow! You are lucky that you found them!

no pressure tags, but I'd love to see your take on these questions: @deandoesthingstome @fvckinghenrycavill @mayloma @just-chirpin @notabronte @thesaucynomad @sillyrabbit81