#he stayed until tommy understood and let him go even though it was painful

[multifandomwriter56]

His Little Spy: The Painful Truth

A/N: Here is Part Two

Series Summary: Anita Edwards is a spy who works for Tommy Shelby. She is an orphan and longs for a family. Will Tommy ever realize she is his daughter, despite them not being blood? Or will he lose her forever?

Chapter 2 Summary: Anita recovers at Polly's and thinks back to how she became Thomas Shelby's spy.

Characters: Tommy Shelby, OC, a few minor OC's, Polly Gray, mentioned other main characters from the series

Warnings: language, mentions child abuse, short scene with child abuse

Word Count: 2,483

"Polly, are you sure? I can stay at the Institution like Mr Shelby wanted me to."

Polly guides the eleven year old up the stairs, rolling her eyes. "Don't worry, Anita, Tommy is not cross with you for staying with me." She opens the door to one of her many spare bedrooms. "And if you ask me one more time if I'm sure about you staying with me, I'll give you a clip over the ear."

Anita smiles softly at the threat, knowing the older woman would do it in a heartbeat. 

“Now, lie down. You need to rest. I’ll leave you some breakfast in the morning.”

“Why won’t you be here?”

“Tommy and I have a meeting with Mother Superior early in the morning.” Polly says darkly; not even trying to hide her hatred for the woman. 

Anita swallows her apology for causing them problems. She has a feeling Polly doesn't want to hear it. “I can make me own breakfast. You don’t have to worry about it.” 

“I’m sure you can; but your only concern tomorrow is to rest. You will stay in this house until I feel you are healed enough to wander. Understood?”

“Yes, Polly.” 

“Good.” Polly smiles at the young girl. She doesn’t know when this young girl climbed into her heart; but she’s family now. If only she knew that. “Get some sleep.”

“What the bloody hell happened to you?”

Anita does as she was told; closing her eyes as Polly closes the door. Instead of dreaming though, her mind thinks back to when she started working for the Shelby business.

Anita ignores the boy, as she tries to hide her black eye with her hair. 

“Your uncle?”

“Fuck off, George. I’m fine.”

The boy is surprised to hear Anita talk that way. She’s usually quiet and timid. The girl always says it’s better to observe than talk. He’s not sure he agrees, but she helps him with his numbers and lets him talk as much as he wants; so he keeps walking her to and from school.

“Anita Edwards, where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

George watches as his friend’s whole body tenses. He whispers for them to run; but she ignores him.

“I’m going to school!” Anita shouts back as she turns around to face her abuser. 

“I don’t remember saying you could go today.” He growls as he steps closer to the two nine year olds.

“I have to go to school. I was gone all last week; they’ll get suspicious. Just trying to save your arse.” She spits out the last word just as her uncle stands in front of her. The slap is expected, so Anita is able to stop herself from falling to the ground. 

“Don’t hit her, you bastard!” George charges at the man, swinging his fists.

“George, no!” Anita steps forward to stop her friend, but she’s too late. Her uncle doesn’t even hesitate to punch the boy, knocking him out cold. “George!” She glares up at her living nightmare. “You prick! Why would you-” She’s cut off from him shoving her into the wall, knocking the breath out of her. 

“Oi! What the fuck is going on here?”

Anita tries to blink away the black dots blinding her vision. That voice is so familiar; but she’s not sure where she’s heard it from. 

“Get the fuck off of her.” 

She hears some rustling as the man manhandles her uncle away from her. When the man calls her name, she tries to focus on him but the black dots are still there. Wait, how does this man know her name?

“Anita, love; come on, look at me. Stay with me.”

Finally the black dots are gone and her eyes focus on the concerned, blue ones. 

“There you go. Good girl, good girl. That’s it.”

“Mr Shelby?” There’s no way that’s the Thomas Shelby. Why would he concern himself with her? They barely even know each other. 

Anita used to play with John’s kids when they still lived in Birmingham; but since John’s death and Esme took off with their kids, Anita doesn’t see the Shelby’s regularly; only when she sees them pass by on the streets of Small Heath. 

“Yeah, that’s right. It’s Tommy.” Tommy never understood why; but this kid he’s only been around a handful of times always calls him Mr Shelby. Which seems normal to anyone; but she is on a first name bases with the rest of his family. “Can you stand?”

Anita ignores his question as she tries to look over the gangster’s shoulder. “Where’s George? Is he okay? I need to see him.”

Tommy gently but firmly places his hands on her shoulders. “He’s still out cold. I will help him once I know you can walk and you have no broken bones.”

The young girl thought about fighting him; but she knew from observing the family that she would definitely lose that fight. The only thing she would accomplish is taking time away from George. So she nods her head before slowly pushing herself up. 

Tommy relaxes slightly when she complies. His hands move from her shoulders to her elbows. He keeps them there even when she’s standing straight. He doesn’t remove them until she takes about six steps. As soon as he releases her, she heads straight to the young boy. He follows. 

When he sees Arthur and Finn round the corner; he motions with his hand for them to come over. 

“What the hell, Tom?” Arthur questions, his eyes roaming over the man knocked out on the ground.

“Take Mr. Edwards to Moss and tell him to lock him up. Let him know I’ll explain everything when I have a chance.”

His brothers grab the man; but Arthur stops when he sees the two children. “Did he do that?” At Tommy’s nod; he drops the man, head first. “Whoops, hands are a little slippery.”

Tommy watches them until they turn the corner from where they arrived. He focuses back on the children, sighing in relief when he sees the young boy awake. “Can you walk, son?”

“I think so, Mr Shelby.”

He watches as Anita helps the boy, George he thinks, stand to his feet. He gently tilts the boy’s head upwards so he can look at his pupils. The kid definitely has a concussion. “Can you walk yourself home, George?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Tell your father what happened and if he has any questions, he can come to me.” Tommy orders as he pulls out his lighter and cigarette case. 

“I want to go with him. Someone needs to make sure he makes it home.” Anita states. 

Tommy stays quiet as he lights his cigarette. Once the lighter and case is back in his pocket, he speaks. “You, Miss Edwards, are coming with me. We need to have a little talk.” He knows he looks and sounds intimidating. He also knows he doesn’t really need to. One thing he remembered about Anita was that she’s always been a good kid. She was a good influence on John’s kids. 

She just seems to get caught up in bad situations. 

Anita thought about arguing but she decided against it. Mr Shelby had saved her life; she has no doubt her uncle would have killed her this time.

“I’m fine, Anita. I can walk meself home.” He wraps his arms around her in a quick hug before letting go. “Thank you, Mr Shelby.” At Tommy’s nod, George heads home. 

Anita watches her friend, much like Tommy did with his brothers before forcing herself to look at the businessman. 

Tommy takes a drag before nodding in the general direction where #6 Watery Lane is. “Come on.”

Tommy opens the door to his past home, stepping to the side to allow her to go in first. She does, stopping at a table. She waits for him to speak first.

The nine year old follows closely behind the man; keeping her eyes on his long black coat. She rather not see everyone staring at them as they pass by. She knows they’re wondering what Thomas Shelby wants with a child. 

She's wondering that as well.

“Your parents died when you were younger, correct?” Tommy asks as he flicks the cigarette butt into the fire.

Anita nods her head. “Dad died in the war. Mom died from consumption.”

“Do you have any other family besides your uncle?” When she shakes her head; Tommy decides he needs another cigarette. “When was the last time you had a meal?”

She’d rather not answer the question, so she just shrugs her shoulders. 

The small action tells Tommy everything. “After you eat, I will take you to the Grace Shelby Institution. You’ll be safe there.”

“Can I stay at the St. Hilda's?” When Tommy frowns, Anita quickly assures him. “I mean no disrespect, Mr Shelby. I stayed there for a couple of months when my mother passed before my uncle took me in. Most of my friends live there. I really am grateful for your help.” She adds the last bit, hoping she didn’t offend the man.

Tommy’s not sure he likes the idea of Anita going somewhere he doesn’t control; but he wants the kid to be happy. She deserves that much. Even though his gut is telling him to say no, his mouth says yes. Some of his concern dies when the girl smiles for the first time since he found her. 

“I’ll see if Pol can-”

“If you’ll just show me where the food is, I can make myself something. I’d rather not be more of a bother than I already am.” Anita ignores the disapproving frown directed at her. She has a feeling he didn’t like her interrupting him. “Is there any way I can repay you, Mr Shelby?”

Tommy exhales, letting the smoke free from his mouth. “There’s no need for that. Just stay out of trouble and stay in school.”

Anita nods but silently disagrees with him. She could be helpful if the man let her. “I’m good with numbers; and I can read faster than anyone my age.”

“Anita.” Tommy warns, his voice deepening. “I said no.”

She turns her back towards him as she opens one of the cabinets, looking for food. “Yes, sir.” She mumbles.

Tommy may not know the nine year old all that well; but he can tell by her tone that she’s going to completely ignore him. 

Once he listened to everything she had learnt; Tommy agreed to let her be his spy. He didn’t admit it out loud; but Anita knew he was impressed.

Anita wakes up, the memory still playing in her head. She sure as hell ignored him. When she wasn’t in school and she could sneak away from the sisters, she would spy on Tommy’s rivals, his own men, and anyone who posed a threat to the Shelby’s. She would even help Lizzie with the baby and watch Charlie for her.

During one of the times she was at Arrow House helping Lizzie, Tommy surprised them by coming home early. He immediately started interrogating her and she admitted to everything. Tommy hadn’t been happy at first, but Lizzie helped convince him that Anita was not only helping her, but him as well. 

* * *

Anita had done as she was told. She ate the food Polly saved for her and took the medication she had laid next to the plate. She found a book and laid on the couch reading. It was two hours past noon when she couldn’t handle the boredom anymore. She may be mature for her age; but she is, in fact, an eleven year old girl. 

She slips on her shoes, tying the lace before heading for the door. She opens it, jumping when she’s met not with a view of the streets but of one Tommy Shelby.

“Anita, are you sneaking out?” He asks her, the lit cigarette wobbling up and down in between his lips.

Knowing she was caught red-handed, she shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe.” She mumbles as she steps backwards so the gangster can step inside. 

Tommy grins, stepping inside his aunt’s home. “And what is out there that is worth risking a scolding from Pol, eh?”

Sensing the man isn’t upset with her, she answers bluntly. “Fun. People.” Her eyes widened, pleading with the man. “I’m bored, Mr Shelby. I can’t sleep anymore. I’ve finished two books. There’s nothing else to do.”

“I understand, love; but you’re here to rest. Once you’re healed enough that you don’t wince with each movement, you’ll go to one of my institutions where you can act your age all you want.” 

“Oh.” Is the only thing Anita can say. She thought she was staying with Polly until she became of age. Polly made it sound like she wasn’t leaving any time soon. How could she be so stupid? Why would anyone want her, let alone the Shelby family? “Right. I know. I’m sorry for complaining. I really am grateful for what you did.”

Tommy frowns. What just happened? What happened to her playful attitude? “Anita, what’s wr-”

“Nothing.” She answers why too quickly, silently scolding herself for saying anything at all. “What are you doing here anyways? Don’t you have a meeting in London in-.” She looks at the clock behind her. “An hour?” 

The smirk is back. “I see someone has been reading my diary again.” He shakes his head fondly when the girl blushes and looks down at her feet. Instead of scolding her for it, he pulls out a small bag from his coat pocket. “I brought you some food. You need to eat.”

The young girl’s cheeks turn a darker red. “I made some food around noon.” She admits, hoping Polly didn’t tell Tommy she was supposed to wait for someone to bring food to her. 

Tommy chuckles this time, shaking his head. “I’ll make a deal with you. I won’t tell Polly you cooked your own lunch if you don’t tell her I was two hours late. Deal?”

Anita grins. “Deal.” 

Tommy stays with her for about an hour. He told her his meeting in London was rescheduled for tomorrow.

The two of them mostly sat in silence; him reading over some papers he was picking up for said meeting and Anita looking over the books (the legal ones) that Tommy had in his briefcase. She wants the practice and Tommy sees no harm in letting her learn. 

She talked the older man into splitting the food Polly made so she can say with confidence that she ate the food.

Tommy leaves, growling a lighthearted but still serious “Behave” over his shoulder before shutting the door; leaving Anita alone once again.

Now alone with her thoughts, Anita thinks about his words. Maybe she should leave Birmingham. In truth, it would be easier for everyone if she was out of their lives for good. Right?

Forevers: @desiredposion @theseakrakence @simonsbluee @elenavampire21

Peaky Blinders: @psychkunox @theshelbyclan @lilymurphy03 @findinghisredrighthand 

His Little Spy Series: @smcc212 @peakascum @auggie2000 @ajwantstohavefun @bloomskater @play-morezeppelin @venomsvl @the-horror-and-the-wild-simp @lovemissyhoneybee @theshelbyslimited @bethabear12 @raincoffeeandfandoms

[coldsunlight36]

i love how things that went unsaid in all the other arcs, the things that if said wouldve changed so much, was finally just...said. acknowledged. the love and need to protect and the confusion and anger and trying to stick it out with each other even when feeling so alone, always coming back... it stopped the cycle, and i am so glad for it.

[ayamturd]

late│technoblade

summary: three times you said i love you, and the one time technoblade says it back

prompt: “I’d do anything for you, whether or not you ask me to”

warnings: fluff and major angst, blood and death descriptions, dsmp spoilers

pairing: in-game romantic!technoblade

a/n: this is my entry for @burntcilantro​‘s 500 writing event!! much love and congratulatory to min, they’re an amazing writer and an even better person (they’re so nice, give them the support they deserve)

also i separated some of the dsmp events and spaced them out (so there’s more time between for plot purposes lol)

wc: (2.0k) - m.list

“Why are you so stupid?”

You were sat on top of a chest, holding one leg with your arms while the other was currently being wrapped by Technoblade. While you giggled at his insult, you winced once he tightened the gauze on your ankle with a glare. 

“It’s not funny, y/n.” He leaned down to bite off the rest of the wrapping, finishing the fold as you huffed at his seriousness.

“I told you to watch the house, not climb onto the roof and play a fun game of risk. What were you thinking?”

His stare was heavy and made you feel little as he looked down at you. The tone of the room changed as you lost the humor in the situation, his concern overpowered by the anger laced in his voice.

“I just wanted to help,” you stated, turning your face away, discouraged, with your arms crossed. “You’ve been getting the all the resources lately and haven’t let me even step off the damn property.”

Looking down, you fiddled with your fingers as to avoid his gaze. “I wanted to try and fix the wood panelings that have been leaking, that’s all.” 

The silence was harsh, and you swallowed deeply at how uncomfortably stiff the air became. Technoblade opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it shut with no words to voice.

With a shaky breath, you gripped the edge of the wood and slowly lowered yourself onto your foot; you didn’t plan on staying here just so he couldn’t say anything more. Technoblade was quick to steady his arms around you in case you fell, but you immediately pushed his hand away aggressively and stood with all your weight on your healthy foot.

Arms out to balance, as you tried to take the first step on your bad foot, you crumpled into your self with a yelp from the pain and collapsed. Ready as always, Techno caught you from behind and guided you to the nearest chair. 

You flinched from the small movement but sighed once sitting again. Techno crouched in front of you to check how you physically were, but your eyes were closed shut as you tried to collect your breathing. 

“Y/n,” Techno call out. Calming yourself down, you opened your eyes to meet his; he was much more sincere before, his face soft as he spoke gently to you. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.” Looking down, Technoblade paused as to gather his thoughts before explaining himself further. 

“I know I’ve been overbearing since the attempted execution,” you reached a hand towards his cheek when he mentioned the recent event, which he leaned into as he continued with closed eyes, “but please know it’s from a place of concern. I just- I don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t let anything happen to you. I-I…”

“I know. Trust me, I know.” You spoke for him as you pulled him into your chest, hugging his large frame as best as you could. He relaxed into your hold with a sigh of relief. 

“I love you, Techno.” You kissed the top of his head, and he only burrowed himself deeper into the hug.

“I’m so sorry, love.”

Technoblade was hunched over on the front lawn, hands on his head while trembling from the overwhelming pain of the voices. He whimpered at your words, indicating he heard you to some extent.

He had come home, alone, and fell to his knees at the sight of you when you opened the door. Immediately, you had rushed over to him and skid to your own knees to comfort him, but he grunted from your attempts to touch him; even when under the influence, he was still conscious enough to fear for your own safety relative to the blind rage of the voices. 

You had tried talking to him, attempted to get him to give you any context to what was causing his anger, which he answered with snarling growls in return. “Tommy… left… betrayed. Chose government.” 

While broken into murmured words, you understood instantly and tried to bring him back in spite needing to quench your own anger from Tommy’s departure. You rested your palms into the snow, lowering your head as much as possible to meet his bowed head. 

You peered up at him despite his own eyes screwed shut from the unbearable chaos that roared within his head, and called out to him as softly as you could. It was a stretch, but you hoped you could soothe him down by talking.

“Hey bubs, just listen to my voice, alright? You hear me now yes? You can understand what I’m saying?” Patiently waiting, you watched him closely until he gave the smallest nod, fists still pushed against his skull and twisting from the ache. 

“That’s good, that’s really good, love. You hear my voice, now listen to my words.” Slowly, you leaned close enough to whisper to him directly. 

“I’m here, okay? I’m so sorry about Tommy, I know how much you cared for him. I still care for him too, and I know it hurts right now, but rest assured I’m still here. I’m here Techno, and I’m never leaving you.”

With clenched teeth, he let out a sob at your declaration and pushed his head against you. You took his permission to touch him promptly, gripping him with as much strength as you could carry so he felt stable and secure. 

You squeezed him, desperate to ground him from slipping further, and rocked the both of you. He released a shuttered breath, and you kissed his skin gently.

“I love you, you know? I will always be here and I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

He clutched you with his entire being, your words and presence more than he could ever ask and want. 

“Why do you have to be too reckless for your own good?”

You grinned widely at his words, smile almost sadistic as you glanced at him with your arms propped on the axe you carried above your shoulders. 

“What ever could you mean?” Despite the roll of his eyes, he did nothing to hide his own amusement to your eagerness to the upcoming destruction you were to bring. He chuckled, his deep laughter making you smile more softly to how genuine he was as you walked besides him. Hand raised to wave his rocket launcher, he focused ahead proud. 

“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” Turning to look at you again, you stared at him adoringly and smirked slightly while bashful to his confident manner. “We are indeed.”

It became relatively silent as you walked through the layered snow, feet crunching from your steady pace. You continued to take random glances at him, Technoblade doing the same until you both heard a loud groan. 

“My god, you two are insufferable, I can’t deal with this right now.” Dream sneered at you specifically, as if you were the cause for his own discomfort, and walked through you both.

“I’ll meet you guys there instead, but hurry.” Swiftly, he pulled out an ender pearl and threw it a few yards ahead towards the portal, his figure disappearing altogether. 

You stared in disbelief from his actions until a cough interrupted your thoughts once more. “You know what,” Phil avoided looking at you both, his hands tapping together awkwardly as he walked ahead as well but turned to address you while moving backwards. 

“I’ll see you guys there too, just, be sure to be quick?” You both nodded wordlessly, and he took his leave in fast haste. 

Standing there alone, you risked another glance at him and met his eyes, laughing loudly at the circumstances. 

Technoblade held a hand to his face, body shaking from his laughter while you were endlessly giggling, holding your stomach from the pain. Eventually, your fits faded with large smiles, and you faced him with a shake of your head. 

“I didn’t realize we’d be one of those couples.” Technoblade sighed, though you could tell it was for play, and nodded. “A shame really, I never thought this day would come.” 

You giggled again, and chose to move closer, tilting your head upwards at him with a sweet beam while leaning onto your axe. He gave you a small smile in return, however his faded immediately after. 

Lifting his open hand, he cupped your cheek and bent down to kiss your forehead, touching yours together after with his eyes closed. “Promise me you’ll be safe? I trust you to protect yourself, but for me, stay safe when things start to go bad?”

While you knew it was impossible to guarantee you’d stay away from the majority of the danger, you knew better than to leave his concern unanswered and open. 

“I promise,” you murmured, “for you, I promise.”

He pulled you against his chest this time, engulfing you completely and holding the back of your head earnestly to his heart. 

“I love you,” you voiced, your words muffled into his armor and coat. He hummed while looking ahead, his eyes trained on the glowing portal that called towards him. This was a war he refused to leave with mercy, the price of your peaceful lives together on the line. 

“No…”

There was too much blood. The thick liquid stained every surface and soaked through his coat that he pushed against your wound. 

Internally panicking from your tight expressions of discomfort, Technoblade desperately searched through his inventory for something, anything, that could heal or at the very least help you. He was forced to face the reality that he used all his potions during the midst of battle and combat. He couldn’t do anything. 

“Why, why why,” he snarled, his eyes clouding with an outset of tears he couldn’t care for. “Why are you so stupid.” His voice caught in his throat from his conflicted emotions and he tightened his hold on the fabric pushed against your stomach; the pain had faded at this point, and you were numb to the constant pressure he tried to hold. 

“I’m so sorry, love. I lied.” Your voice was light and strained, but Technoblade refused to accept the situation for what it was. He turned to a perched crow, screaming at it to get Phil and scaring it away with a slash of his sword, before tucking his head down in an almost silent plea. 

“Why do you have to be too reckless for your own good?” he whispered. Though he tried to be delicate, he couldn’t help how tight he held your hand. 

“I’d do anything for you, whether or not you ask me to.” You gave a tired grin as your eyes began to droop, hand tightening on his, however incredibly weak in comparison. 

“I asked you to be safe,” he cried, body stricken with grief as he abandoned his hold on your stomach and instead shakily held your face, your own blood smearing against your skin from his callous fingers. “I needed you safe.”

You placed a hand over his, using all your strength to relish in his touch and kissing the inner of his palm. “Yet you needed my love more.” 

He choked out a sob from your admittance, and pulled you into his chest, your body limp, as he rocked you slightly. “I’ll always be there for you, and love you more than I could for my own safety.”

The ruins echoed the wails of a tormented heart on the broken landscape of a haunted battlefield that called for death and devastation. The smoke and clouds of destruction reigned above, and despite the final end to the corrupted nation that was built on nothing but lies and deceit after a helpless man’s death, Technoblade couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“I love you,” he uttered, the words he struggled for oh so long to express finally free from its cage. “I love you, y/n. I love you so much.”

His words fell on deaf ears, and he screamed in agony at the truth that laid before him.

He was too late.

[glowstick-cafe]

Hey I really like our work!! Could you do a reader that doesn’t reLly show emotion and constantly feels like they aren’t apart of the happy things in life. (Like a sbi x reader type thing) also could I be 🪐 anon? If not that’s cool!

Die for you||SBI x reader

Sure you can, sorry this took so long I had a bit of writers block.

SBI x reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warning: If there's any, please let me know

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You don't remember where you came from but you're 97% sure that you're human, you were found passed out in the woods while Phil was out in the forest. Ever since he found you he has been somewhat of a father figure, along with the fact that his three sons saw you as family.

-

"Y/n, Phil wants you to come downstairs for breakfast." The familiar voice of Technoblade called, you replied with a groan into your pillow which did not satisfy the piglin. "He's gonna mad." He pressed, a louder and muffled groan came from you, with an annoyed sigh he picked you up from the bed and threw you over his shoulders earning a few strings of curses from you.

Techno walked to the dinning table where food was already laid out. "Techno put them down." Phil said not batting an eye, "You should be thanking, they probably wouldn't a have gotten up if I weren't there." Techno mumbled the last part but you were pretty sure everyone understood. Techno set you down at the table while you have him a playful glare that he pretended not to notice. While eating your brain zoned out not really caring to add to the conversation until you heard your name, "Y/n, you been staying in your room a lot for the past few days." Wilbur poked, you raised an eyebrow at him not really wanting to talk about it, "Yeah, well I've been more tired than usual." You said, that wasn't the thing that was bothering you but it was an a answer that was believable, but Wilbur knew you better than that...he always did. "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?!" Tommy's sudden thought made Phil and Techno choke on their food. "Tommy, what the fuck! Are you mental?!" You yelled as you saw the boy had a grin on his face, "Just drop it, ok?" Your voice sounded harsher than you wanted it to my but you got up from the table in annoyance and storming off. "We're going out in a few minutes!" Phil shouted, after a bit of silence your annoyed groans can be heard making everyone at the table chuckle.

-

You were out in the forest with Phil, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy, what were you do doing in the forest? No fucking clue but you carried around a small basket to collect random things you find to make a random potion.

"Give it back dickhead!" Tommy's loud voice yelled, "They're just old discs, they probably don't even work anymore!" Wilbur teased, the brunette held the two discs out of Tommy's reach only making him more annoyed. "Phiiiiil!" Tommy cried out making the winged man turn his head, "Wilbur, give the discs back to Tommy." Wilbur rolled his eyes a Phil's comment but gives the discs back to Tommy anyway, "Why do you cause me pain all the time?" "Because you're a child." Wilbur joked making Tommy huff, Phil ruffled Tommy and Wilbur's hair and chuckled while Techno tried to hide his small smile. The sight of all them happy made you smile, but it felt like you weren't meant to be there. "Hey mate, you ok?" Phil sent you a worried smile, "Y-Yeah...can we just go home?"

You felt bad for making everyone come back home, you always have ruin everything don't you? You lay in your bed letting your thoughts take over. "Y/n, are you ok? I knocked but you didn't answer." The familiar voice that belonged to Phil spoke, "Sorry, I was spacing out..." "Yeah, you've been doing that a lot lately." He pushed, in that moment you knew that he knew that something was wrong, this conversation was bound to happen but not like this. Phil closed the door behind him and took a seat beside your bed.

"Y/n, just tell me what's going on." His soft voice beckoning you to spill every little detail that was bothering you. "Why should I tell you? It's not like you're my dad." His eyes widened at the sudden outburst. "Y/n, wh-" "Actually, ya know what? I shouldn't have to tell you what's wrong because I'd mess up your perfect little family, it's like you drag me around everywhere just to remind me that I'm just some nobody you found in the woods and took pity!" You quickly cover your mouth in shock at what you had said, sure there were your true thoughts and feelings but you never thought that you'd actually say them. "Phil I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that, I just came out of no-" Your shaky voice was cut of by the winged man enveloping you in to his arms, it wasn't like his usual hugs, it was more sad as if to say he was sorry for making you feel this way. Your hand dug itself into Phil's arm as you screamed out all of your pent up emotions that you had held for so long. "I never realized that we made you feel this way. Y/n, please know that even though same may not show it everyone in this house would die for you the same way we know that you'd die the same for us." His soft words resonated in your brain, if you dared to speak you know that you'd only end up having more tear on his shirt.

"We all love you Y/n."

"I love you too, dad."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like I could've done better on the middle part but I'm proud of this one.

[votederpycausemufins]

All my knowledge is of hermitcraft and the stuff people have written for the Hermit!Tommy Au but I kept having this idea and needed to write it. I also think i got a bit out of character halfway through because it was supposed to be short, but i vibed with it too much so now it’s long and maybe not 100% accurate but it’s still angst followed by fluff.

also @petrichormeraki wanted me to tag them when i posted this.

Tommy had been with the Hermits for a while now. He hadn’t really kept track of when he first arrived, but it had at least been a few months. Otherwise, time was a mess. The Hermits has all but legally adopted him and all the joy that came from them caring for him made time seem to fly by.

Doc was fun to be around because while Tommy was perfectly fine never going back to the SMP, the way the man acted gave Tommy a small bit of familiarity in a good way to his past life.

He likes hanging out with False, mainly for sparring. Never anything deadly, but even if there wasn’t a need for Tommy to constantly look over his shoulder, it was good to keep from getting too rusty.

He doesn’t really hang out with Zedaph as much as Zedaph hangs out with him. Normally the Hermit would come out of the blue with something new for Tommy to try. Flicking levers over and over for something that would normally be as simple as using a furnace just became fun for Tommy, especially if he had energy pent up.

Xisuma is someone Tommy doesn’t run into much, but the fact that he doesn’t is something Tommy finds comfort in. Even as the server admin, the man is very down to Earth. Nothing like Dream ever was.

And then there’s Grian. Tommy got along with all the Hermits fine and of course there were some he preferred over others, but Grian took the cake for him. When he first showed up, Grian was the one to give him a place to stay at his old hobbit hole. Professor Beaks had been left there and still used to the SMP and scared for his life, Tommy hid the pet bird as leverage for his own safety. When Grian found out, he mostly shrugged it off, but the tens of chickens in the hobbit hole the next day was proof of retaliation.

Tommy didn’t understand the underwhelming response at first, but responded in kind, using the eggs from the chickens Grian had left to egg the Hermit’s base. When the builder nearly broke the door to the hobbit hole, Tommy grabbed his axe, ready to fight for his life, but was taken aback by the cheerful look on Grian’s face.

After that, Grian had practically taken Tommy under his wing. He showed Tommy how to build more effectively with cobble, eventually managing to get the teen to have some variety. Grian also brought Tommy along on his various chaotic endeavors, leaving behind chickens, mycelium, and possibly some missing doors.

The two chaotic red wearing Brits got along so well that they sometimes spent entire weeks together. Because of that, Tommy was all too aware that the Hermits participated in MCC as well.

It made sense. A few of the Hermits vaguely recognised him when he showed up in Hermitcraft and a few of them looked familiar to Tommy. That had made him feel a little safer since now these people weren’t complete strangers, but it did complicate things. Every so often, the portal to MCC would open and the Hermits participating would go through. The closest Tommy would get to the portal was just before the Hermits left, occasionally giving a ‘Good luck Grine!’ or something similar to Grian as he went through. But after that Tommy stayed as far away as he could manage.

The portal there led to MCC. And from there, there was a portal that led to the SMP. If Tommy could get to Hermitcraft, others could too. And that idea was terrifying, no matter who it was. Dream was a worst case scenario, but even if it was Tubbo. Tubbo had exiled him, and even if they were still on good terms after that, Tommy could have visited at some other MCC, but he didn’t, and that idea likely wouldn’t go over well, especially since otherwise, people probably thought he was dead and Tommy didn’t care to correct them.

But compared to all those other times, today was very different. Today Tommy wasn’t at the sidelines to help send off the other Hermits, he was one of the ones being sent off. They had taken every precaution. Mumbo had rebuilt his Spookification chamber for Tommy with some alterations, specifically removing the firework method of alteration. The teen was also dressed for being on a team with Grian as the Cyan Creepers, so his familiar red and white shirt was missing. But under Tommy’s costume, he still kept the chain necklace holding his compass. He refused to part with it, though made sure he would be hard to access to keep from glancing, knowing at the championships, it wouldn’t be spinning wildly anymore.

With a comforting pat on the back from Grian, he and the other Hermits walked through the portal. The crowd of people that were on the side almost immediately overwhelmed Tommy, making him think that it was a bad idea all over again, but the sight of the two other team members for the Cyan Creepers reassured them, especially as they lined up for the cameras for some fun and silly times. Then once the games began, he was too focused on winning to think of much else.

Before long, the championships were over. They had come in fifth, which was a bit disappointing at first, but on the other hand, it was still pretty good and kept the spotlight off of him. When dodgebolt began, Tommy stood next to Grian, but with a crowd of people, a good game, and no perfect place to sit, the both of them wandered for a better vantage point.

At one point, Tommy managed to push his way right up to the edge of the viewing ledge. It was the perfect place for a while until the action moved, causing everyone to decide it was the perfect place. Enough people moved nearby that Tommy was worried about falling into the pit below, and he almost did before someone pulled him back.

Tommy was ready to thank whichever Hermit or even other player helped him but the words died in his throat when he faced the person who grabbed him. He knew that mask and neon green color. And there was no reason for him to help Tommy unless-

“I finally found you!” Dream spoke. He raised his voice to be heard over the crowd, but not too much to draw the attention of others. Tommy froze as he definitely heard the words. But there was no way for Dream to know, he didn’t look at all like normal.

“I-I’m sorry.” Tommy tried not to stutter, hoping just the situation of being grabbed would excuse it. “But I don’t think I’m who you’re looking for. I’m new here. Unless you’re greeting me for being new.” It was something he prepared before in his mind after Grian brought up the possibility, but it felt sloppy putting it to use.

“Oh don’t lie Tommy. I know it’s you. I guess you got lost, but it’s okay, you can come back now. I got rid of the exile for you. Aren’t you glad?”

Tommy was glad for the mask that covered Dream’s face. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see Dream’s actual expression. “How did you-” He started to speak, but Dream cut him off, poking Tommy’s chest, right where the compass was.

“Weren’t you paying attention to the teams? Tubbo got put with me. And between games he just happened to glance at his own compass. And wouldn’t you know it, it led me right here.” Dream held up the compass that belonged to Tubbo. It looked damaged, and it was recent. Tubbo likely didn’t want to give the tyrant admin the compass, but lost it to Dream anyway.

“Give that back to Tubbo!” Tommy shouted at Dream, trying to snatch it from him.

“Feisty now, aren’t you? We can take care of that when you come back. I’ll also give it back to him if you come with me.”

Tommy froze. There was no way he was going back, but what could he do? Everyone was focused on dodgebolt, and he didn’t want his appearance to have caused more trouble for Tubbo.

Tommy glanced at the crowd one last time before reluctantly nodding. Dream grabbed his hand in a painful clench and dragged him out of the crowd towards the SMP’s portal to leave. However, just before reaching it, Dream stopped. Tommy, who had been looking back at the crowd, hoping someone would see what was going on, turned towards the portal to see Grian standing in front of it.

“Heya, where do you think you’re going. MCC isn’t over yet. Dodgebolt it still going on.”

Tommy expected Dream to just push past Grian or even give some sort of retort, but the actual reply was shocking. “Uh, n-no, just… have to head back early. Th-the game delays made things run over. A-and we’ve got to get b-back for… something else. Don’t w-want to be late for that.”

Dream’s words made Tommy so shocked he forgot to breathe. Dream was scared, no he was terrified. And he was terrified… of Grian. Tommy looked back at the Hermit who stood unflinching in front of them.

“Really? I could have sworn that you were here when I arrived, and that kid wasn’t. And he definitely came from a different portal. I know since I was keeping my eye out for my teammates. So why’s he going with you?”

“I uh…” Dream struggled, struggled, to give an answer, letting Grian continue. “That’s what I thought. C’mon kid, let’s go back to the crowd. You can stay with me until it’s over then I’ll help you find your portal back.”

And Grian took Tommy away without any retaliation from Dream. Tommy was left in awe. Grian wasn’t even an admin in Hermitcraft but Dream was terrified of him. It was amazing! But at the same time, it made Tommy spiral a bit.

When everyone returned, Grian had made sure Dream left before the Hermits and Tommy did so Dream couldn’t watch Tommy leave. Tommy stuck to False’s side as they walked through the portal, Grian being the last to come through as he continued to act as a guard. When he tried to comfort Tommy after his run-in with Dream, he understood when the teen responded he just wanted to go home. The championships were exhausting enough without a scare like that.

The next day, Tommy hung out with False. And then Zedaph, and then Doc. Grian noticed immediately, but didn’t pay much mind to it. He noticed since Tommy had spent a full week only hanging out with him, so the sudden absence of the boy was noticeable, but it made sense that he would want to hang out with the others.

After that, Grian didn’t pay too much attention to the lack of Tommy until he ran into him while stocking the barge. Tommy had been buying something at the store when Grian flew in. He nearly dropped his diamonds in trying to leave in such a hurry that it finally concerned Grian. The builder started visiting other Hermits Tommy tended to visit and ask about him. No one really noticed much other than Tommy dodging any questions about him possibly going to hang out with Grian.

Grian decided to leave it alone, and he was definitely going to, but after another run in with Tommy, he threw that decision out the window. Grian normally wouldn’t have done this, but after trying multiple times to just talk to Tommy and being unsuccessful, the builder had to essentially corner the teen.

Immediately, Grian regretted it. Tommy was trembling, obviously scared, holding a sword in his hand. He carefully tried to point out that Tommy didn’t need to have his sword out, but instead of just putting it away, Tommy just threw it on the ground, also throwing down his other gear. Grian had heard of Tommy doing this before with the other Hermits, so he immediately recognised what was going on and dived to grab the gear. It scared Tommy more, but Grian wanted to make sure nothing ended up destroyed.

“Tommy, calm down, I just want to talk. Did I do something wrong? I mean, obviously I must have, you look scared out of your mind every time I’m around you. But I can’t think or anything I did and I don’t want this to keep happening. So can I know what’s going on?”

Tommy didn’t speak for a while. He just looked defeated and terrified. Grian called in some of the other Hermits to come help Tommy calm down, though at first it didn’t help. But over time, Tommy finally did stop looking so terrified and they moved to somewhere he would feel less cornered. It took more coaxing after that, but finally, Tommy explained himself.

“He’s scared of you. Dream is… actually scared of you.”

“Yeah, I’ve killed him once or twice. Plus my full name is Lord Grian Dreamslayer, so it’s kind of in the name.” The builder tried to say it as a joke, but it didn’t seem to lighten the mood.”

“He’s the admin and he’s scared of you. And you… I’ve been hanging out with you.”

Grian nodded. “Well yeah, we do fit together well. ...Did he say something at MCC to make you think I didn’t like you?”

Tommy shook his head. “N-No. You’re right, you’re fun to be around. But dream likes… liked messing with me. And tried to train me. And I hang out with you more than I had with him, and I’m more like you. I-If you’re somehow more powerful than him-!” The rest of the words stopped in Tommy’s throat, choking him up. Stress was nearby and gave Tommy a careful hug for comfort, which helped him a little.

Grian waited a little bit for the tension to calm slightly before he spoke. “I don’t know exactly what Dream has done to you. You’ve told us a lot, but you obviously haven’t told us everything, and telling us isn’t the same as experiencing it. But let me tell you that I’m not going to do what he’s done to you. I remember how you were the first day we found you. And I see how you are now- well, how you were a few weeks ago- and I’m happy. Happy because you’ve been happy. You’ve been safe and cared for here and it shows. I don’t want to force you to be anything, I want you to be you. Sure, I’m powerful enough to kill Dream, but I’m not going to use that power on you. I’m only going to use it around you if it’s to keep him away from you.

“And! And! It’s just because of how your server is. Here we can go to the end. We don’t have a set amount of lives. We build massive structures and sell totems for a single diamond each. We fight Withers for fun and make farms with them. We farm just about anything you can think of. And Tommy.” Grian paused, making sure Tommy was paying attention. “You may be from somewhere far off that none of us old Hermits have seen, but now you’re here. And new home or not, that makes you a Hermit too. Sure you can be like me. Or you can be like False or Doc or Scar or Mumbo. But so far, you’ve been pretty you. And that you is a Hermit.”

Tommy took a few moments to process it, but the message seemed to get through to him. With that, Grian stood up with a smile. “Now I get that you probably don’t want to hang around me much right now. It makes sense. Maybe hang out with some other Hermits and learn some new stuff to get your mind off of things. Plus, I also did some talking around looking for you, and got you this.”

Tommy’s eyes practically sparkled as Grian placed down some music discs. He greedily grabbed the treasures and stuffed them in his inventory, looking up just to see Grian flying off. Taking on Grian’s idea, Tommy decided to go with Cleo and try to wrap his head around those armor stands again. While he wasn’t a pro, he did manage to make one scene of the hermits all holding weapons and surrounding an armor stand in lime leather armor. Grian was right. He was a Hermit. And he wasn’t going back. At least, not permanently, he thought, clutching his compass. Maybe, there would even be another Hermit like him.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n ranboo, tommy tubbo and jack - just come home

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part three to the happier imagine (the great adventures of y/n and ranboo) this is where the group reunites

content warning: angst to fluff, small mention of creepy fan,swearing

please read what’s written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 16-18 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and the others (especially ranboo) in this imagine is completely platonic

so turns out moving house didn’t stop the creepy fan from contacting you neither did blocking every account they made as they began contacting your mods, your business email, they even started spamming ranboos dms, mods and business email and now you had the stress of Tommy trying to contact you. at this point neither you nor ranboo knew what to do, you were both convinced it was a troll trying to scare you both with jokes but the joke wasn’t funny. it never was, to say the least, it was horrifying. you stood with ranboo who was now changing the locks just to keep you safe, it was clear the fan didn’t know your new address as rather than sending you your address (as though you had suddenly forgotten where you lived) like last time it was just random messages trying to psych you both out. your phone buzzed again making ranboo jump you dreaded looking at the notification but you did it anyway

Tommy: y/n I’m serious please can we talk..tubbo and jack aren’t the same without you. I miss you

“anything important y/n?”

“no nothing to worry about”

“you’ve not been acting like yourself since the last stream are you sure you’re okay you know It's not your fault don’t blame yourself for whatever’s upsetting you I’m here for you I love you”

“I know boo I know, i love you too”

later that night you had to quickly end your stream despite to fact you had only been streaming 30 minutes as ranboo was arguing with someone the only reason you knew it was serious was because he was shouting back at the person, you had never heard him so angry and you’ve been friends with him for at least 16 years.

“okay chat that’s gonna be the stream for today…I forgot I have something to do I’m not going to raid anyone on here however tech is live on youtube for the first time in ages so I do recommend you go and check out what he’s doing good morning or good night I’ll see you soon”

as soon as you ended the stream you made your way to the room ranboo was in that's when you overheard tubbo arguing with ranboo

“oh good for you ranboo you're getting everything you want I mean you and y/n moved on easily the two of you bought a new house you both look happy and don't get me started on your career's taking off”

“goodbye tubbo”

ranboo left the call and opened the door

“oh boo”

you instantly pulled him into a hug, it was an extremely stressful time for the pair of you and you understood how painful it is arguing with someone who was once your best friend. every night the memory of Tommy blaming you for things that were out of your control and jack telling you to get out of the car haunted you however nothing compared to the way tubbo looked at you when you finally got home that night. he looked at you as though he never cared about the friendship the pair of you shared. of course, you never told ranboo about it keeping you up at night but he wasn’t stupid he knows you were still hurting even if it had been years since the fallouts happened

“why..why are they trying to get in contact again I was starting to feel like myself again”

“I don’t know…come lie with me on the couch for a while we can talk about anything you want”

the pair of you laid on the couch talking about what was going on and reasons why it was happening. ranboo decided he’d forgive the others if they contact him again however you were not as forgiving as they hurt you and your friend. eventually, his crying came to an end and he fell asleep holding onto you. you were falling asleep yourself until your phone buzzed.

Tommy: look y/n why don’t we all meet again, just come home

y/n: I am home I moved into a lovely house with ranboo and I sold the ‘home’ you’re talking about, now please stop contacting me tom I don’t want in my life anymore not only did you hurt me but you also hurt ranboo

Tommy: fine talk to tubbo

y/n: don’t add him...

*tubbo has been added to the group*

tubbo: hi y/n

y/n: you have 5 minutes to explain why you made ranboo cry.

tubbo: I don’t know what you mean

y/n: do you think you’re funny because oh boy do I have news for you.

Tommy: please just meet us one last time you can even bring ranboo

y/n: I was bringing ranboo anyway

tubbo: can I bring jack

Tommy: yes, see you where we always used to meet

y/n: ight see you Saturday

tubbo: see you Saturday I love you

y/n: please don’t say you love me tubbo. if you did we wouldn’t be in this situation.

you spent the rest of the night messing with ranboos hair you ended up accidentally waking him up however he pretended to be asleep before you could notice he was no longer asleep as he didn’t want this moment to end. however, you did occasionally hear him laugh quietly to himself

“Are you awake or am I hearing things”

he decided there was no point in lying as you were already questioning if he was awake and he was struggling to hold back his laughter so responded by tapping your waist signalling to you he was awake

“great..bad news we have to meet Tommy jack and tubbo on Saturday”

you watched as he quickly opened his eyes looking at you as though you had told him the best news ever

“heh?! actually? are you actually being serious right now”

“Unfortunately I am”

noticing you were unhappy about it he pulled you closer to him and spent the rest of the night explaining why it won’t be as bad as you’re expecting it to be and how it might actually be a good thing after all. a couple of hours later you fell asleep feeling a lot more comfortable with what was happening on Saturday ranboo fell asleep not long after, proud of his achievement. the days flew by, it was finally Saturday and you had mixed feelings about it, on one hand, you were somewhat excited about meeting them but on the other hand, you weren’t sure you were ready for them to enter your life again.

“I'm ill sorry ranboo you’ll have to go on your own”

“wowww real mature making me go all on my own…I thought we were best friends”

“I know you’re joking but I’d feel bad making you go alone give me five minutes and then I’ll be ready to go”

“here”

ranboo decided to throw one of his hoodies at you so you had something to wear that made you feel safe as he understood how overwhelming it’ll be to meet them again, five minutes later you got into the passenger's seat next to ranboo

“not feeling like driving hey”

“I will purposely drive around in circles to avoid meeting them”

“heh…are you okay are you actually okay seeing them, I don’t mind letting you stay home”

“I'm fine boo honestly now let’s go”

once you made it and began walking to meet them ranboo grabbed your hand. the only reason he ended up letting go was to talk to the others since Tommy pulled you into a tight hug not wanting to let you go the moment he saw the pair of you

“y/n I’m so sorry”

“I'm sorry too..”

Tommy spent a good few minutes frantically apologising to you for what happened and how he didn’t mean any of it. he was halfway through his speech about how he’s learned from his mistakes when tubbo spoke up.

“Tommy doesn’t keep y/n to yourself”

“sorry tubso”

you looked at tubbo not knowing what to say, it was evident that the pair of you were still hurt, he reached into his pocket grabbing a rock he found on the beach the other day

“here I found it the other day it reminded me of you”

“thank you I love it”

ranboo stood behind you wrapping an arm around you as he noticed you were starting to get upset. tubbo couldn’t believe how much you and ranboo had changed over the past years and it hurt him how close the pair of you had grown and the promise rings you and ranboo were currently wearing left him questioning whether that could have been him if he didn’t leave you both when it was clear you both needed him. jack spoke up next.

“hey, y/n..”

“nice to see you’re still bald manifold”

“Nice to see you haven’t changed. I’m sorry for what happened it hurt to see you go I was kind of hoping that you'd stay”

“oh jack it’s okay you were just trying to lighten up the situation I'm sorry I was so harsh”

a few months later the five of you were slowly but surely mending your friendship you all knew it would be difficult and take a long time to get back to how it was in the past but it would all be worth it

around a year since you met up again the five of you were closer than ever you were all streaming together again, constantly filming vlogs as a group. safe to say the wait was worth it, however, you and ranboo always wearing the promise rings you got for each still hurt tubbo

taglist

@milkydisaster @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[ghost-like-pale]

no need to hide from me

info: philza finds out about your scars. not that he's mad, he's just surprised. 》 they/them 》 irl + platonic 》 1.5k words

warnings: explicit selfharm, blood, hurt/comfort, implied father/child-like bond

a/n: my first piece, i don't know how i feel about it.

this blog it meant as a way of coping with trauma/mental issues, please don't report it. if you don't want to see what i write, please just block me.

——♤——

"kgh-"

you felt the pain run through your body as the blood slowly dripped past your forearm onto your thigh. a sharp inhale went through your airpipe into your aching lungs.

"ack-!"

the small razorblade slid over your troubled skin for the fifth time these past 2 minutes, hoping no one would hear your small choked sobs from the echoing bathroom.

after letting the pain simmer down you get welcomed coldly by numbness. it never fails to meet you after a cut.

this meet-up has been nice, enjoyable, even. but the guilt of not being able to be as hyperactive as tommy and tubbo, the embarrassment of not understanding what wilbur was talking about and the shame of accidentally saying something stupid and phil laughing at it gave you a reason to punish yourself.

—

you didn't eat much during dinner, even though it was your favorite meal - kristen even cooked for everyone. that's exactly when phil knew something was wrong.

you excused yourself from the table and walked upstairs to the room you resided in. after the others moved on from the dinner table to the living room phil decided to go after you, telling kristen to heat up a plate of food and join the rest of their friends. kristen understood, and walked to the kitchen to grab a plate. phil quietly yet swiftly made his way upstairs.

—

you heard the stairs being climbed from the other side of the walls, widening your eyes and making you panic. the blade you were holding was stained with a mix of old and fresh blood. the tiny drops of dark-red liquid splashed on your leg once again. in a panic you threw the razor to the corner of the room and wiped the blood of your body hastily. you pulled your sleeves over your hands and hid them from sight, hoping the new cuts wouldn't bleed through the fabric.

"(y/n)?"

phil knocked on the door to your room. you wipe your face entirely, trying to physically get rid of your anxious expression and answered phil's call.

"come in!"

you sounded grossly happy, making you cringe internally. you trapped your hands between your legs while feeling the mattress sinking next to you.

"you okay? you didn't eat much earlier."

phil wasn't stupid; he knew you weren't. he wanted to see if you would confess to him on your own terms.

"oh, yeah. i'm okay, just didn't feel too hungry, heh."

the small laugh you exuded only worsened phil's concerns.

"(y/n), i'm not sure i believe you. you can trust me."

your panic grew by the second, not wanting to worry phil, yet desperately wanting to tell him. you didn't have the words for it and your brain is not going to bother finding them - it was too busy trying not to cry.

"phil, i promise i'm alright. i just wasn't hungry and i'm worn out from the things we did."

phil exhaled through his nose. what the hell was he going to ask you now?

you bit your lip harshly, trying to focus on the pang of hurt coursing through your mouth rather than your head.

"listen, (y/n). i know you better than this. you can tell me what's wrong-"

before he could properly finish his sentence you stood up. you screwed your eyes shut and yelled at him.

"I SAID I'M FINE, PHIL!"

phil was taken aback by the sudden and intense hostility you showed.

"i'm...i-i.."

you slowly came to a realisation as to what happened. your lips sputtered unintelligible words and your eyes spilled out tears. phil quickly came to his senses and stood up as well. his arms wrapped around your upper arms and shoulders, his head resting on top of yours.

"it's okay, (y/n). i'm not mad, i promise."

you didn't respond. you only sobbed louder and pushed your face into his chest, finding safety in his secure embrace. you stood like this for a bit, calming down over time until the sobs from earlier were nothing more than hiccups.

"are you okay to talk about it now?"

phil eventually spoke up. you nod slowly, pulling away from the hug and letting yourself fall onto the bed you sat on a while ago, phil following your lead.

"what's wrong, kid?"

you let out a shaky breath and let go of the sleeve you were holding onto tightly during the conversation. you grabbed the end of your sleeve and tried to pull it up, but to no avail.

you couldn't. you couldn't show him yourself.

you whined softly, trying to think of a solution. phil rested his hand on your thigh as a way of non-verbal support, giving you an idea. you dropped your arm onto phil's hand, him instantly understanding what you meant and grabbing your arm gingerly. he placed it on his lap and carefully peeled off the sleeve.

"oh, (y/n)."

it was a sight to behold; a bloodied arm with messy cuts, a few still dribbling slightly, most of your skin covered in the half-dried crimson fluid.

refusing to look at phil, you stared at the wall on the other side of the room. you could feel his eyes staring daggers at it, your face heating up in shame and vulnerability.

"i'm so sorry, (y/n)."

you felt your sleeve being pulled over your arm again and you were pulled into another embrace. this time the hug felt sympathetic, like it was apologizing to you for everything you've ever been through, saying sorry for the fact you had to do this as a way to live with yourself.

if you had anything left, you could've cried for hours. but your tears ran out a while ago, so you stayed quiet, with the exception of a few whimpers and sighs.

"thank you for telling me."

phil broke the silence again, a small smile appearing on your tear-stained face.

"but- we should really clean up that arm. you don't want that to get infected."

he said with a hint of a chuckle. it was kind of nice hearing him be a little humorous in such a depressing scene.

"yeah, maybe we should."

you responded with the same tone. he grabbed your hand and lead you to the nearest bathroom. he fetched the softest towel he could find and dampened it with lukewarm water. he then turned his attention to you; he dabbed the still open cuts first and cleaning up the freshest blood. then he moved onto the dried blood around it, wiping it carefully, minding the sensitive wounds.

"stay here, i'll get the first-aid kit from the other bathroom."

phil said, before disappearing into the hall outside. you stood on the cold tiles for a few moments, pondering how you even managed to muster the strength to tell anyone. you were glad you did, though.

"i'm back!"

the familiar voice rang through the reverberating room and into your ears, making you turn your head in the door's direction. the smile grew slightly when phil's face entered your vision.

"arm, please."

you did as he asked and handed your arm to him. he took a cream-coloured bandage out of the small bag and gently yet firmly wraps your injured arm.

"thank you, phil."

your smile was persisting while looking at the bandaged arm. phil packed up the first-aid kit and grinned himself.

"you're welcome, kid. now, let's get some clean clothes and a plate of warm food."

—

"PHILZA!"

tommy yelled from the couch he sat on. the rest of the group quickly turned around to greet their friends.

"hi, mate. what are we watching?"

wilbur waved over to you and signaled to come sit next to him. you happily obliged and sat down with a plate in hand. the couch was just big enough to seat 3 people, you, tommy and wilbur occupying said seats. kristen sat on the chair on the left, while tubbo sat on a pillow on the floor with his hand in a bag of crisps.

"no idea, we were just going to choose something."

wilbur answered for him, earning him a smack on the knee from the blonde. phil laughed while lowering himself into a chair on the right side of the couch.

"he asked me, you prick."

"well, you were just too slow."

the two boys bickered back and forth a bit until tubbo spoke up.

"why don't we let (y/n) decide?"

both wilbur and tommy seemed satisfied with that resolution, nodding their heads and verbally agreeing.

"uhm, how about ___."

kristen immediately agreed, so did phil and tubbo. tommy was still a bit bitter about not being the one to choose, but didn't object, the same for wilbur.

"alright, it has been decided!"

—

the movie was quite long, but enjoyable. your dinner was finished and the plate stood on the coffee table, next to an empty glass and a half-eaten bag of crisps.

your head rested on wilbur's shoulder, a fluffy blanket draped over you along with one of his arms. your eyelids were heavy, the light emitting from the tv becoming more distant every second.

a final consious breath escaped your lungs and you finally fell asleep.

the comfort this household has brought you is something you couldn't find anywhere else - you were truly home.

——♤——

thank you for reading, please be nice

masterlist

[oddaodd]

· Maimed ·

Summary: Tommy finds out Y/n had to resort to prostitution while he was away at war and doesn't handle it well. 

Author’s note: This was requested by the lovely @idgaf2022  and I just gotta say I fell in love with this request and Im very happy with how it turned out . As always, I wish you all the loveliest of days. ❤️

Warnings: mentions of prostitution, war and an accident with a knife.

·

“When where you going to tell me?” Came his voice void of all emotion. His eyes piercing through her skin.

“Tell you what?” She smiled. Her mind refusing to believe she knew what he was talking about.

“I was at The Garrison today” he began There was a man, a man I had never seen before. He spun such yarns about you ” he paused and took a look at Y/n’s face. Her smile long gone. She knew what he was talking about.

“At first I though he must be stupid to come up with such stories about my wife in my pub, but then when nobody  believed him, he mentioned the scar you have under your ribs” he spoke pointing at the place where she evidently had a scar.

“Tommy… I..I” But she couldn’t find the words, they were all held back by the knot in her throat.

The war had been hell. Everyone had lived through it differently. Tommy and his brothers and many other men had had to go and fight and Y/n and Polly and Ada and many other women had had to stay behind and run the country while the men were gone. They were dark times abundant with need and scarceness.  Y/n had tried her best to keep her and tommy’s baby daughter, Josephine away from need and hunger. Having just gotten married and had their baby, Y/n had her hands tied. She tried to help Polly as much as she could at the shop but sometimes there just wasn’t enough money which lead Y/n to charging fro her company to the men who didn’t serve. All for Jo’s sake.

When Tommy came back she never mentioned it, ready to put it behind her and every night she prayed for Tommy to never find out. All her customers had been from outside of Birmingham after all.  

“Did you seriously think I’d never find out?”

“No” she began, taking his hands in her shaky ones she wanted to, but she knew she couldn’t hide it forever. “No, but I just… I just didn’t know If I wanted you to know. I felt so ashamed and I didn’t want to bring it up when I knew I would never have to do it again. Things were hard when you left …”

“ It must have been such a sacrifice” he muttered bitterly and snatched his hands away from hers.

“How dare you?” she spat “You have no idea of how hard it was when you were away, the money from the shop just wasn’t enough!”

“Oh I bet” he said sarcastically “You’ve never liked sleeping alone.”

“Thomas...” she warned dumbfounded on the verge of tears. She couldn’t believe her own husband was making her feel like shit.

But he ignored her tone and her hurt features “Needed someone to keep your bed warm while I was away” he spat mercilessly “Or maybe you just missed the feeling of someone between your legs”

At his venomous words Y/n saw her own hand moving in slow motion before it crashed against Tommy’s cheek. She couldn’t handle him to keep talking like that, digging up a past she tried so hard to burry deep down. Her lips parted at her own actions.

When Tommy’s unchanging face fixed upon her again he noticed the tears that had so vehemently threatened to spill had finally succeed in doing so. Triggering a feeling of deep guilt deep within his soul.

“Fuck you” she spoke in a maimed voice. Tommy prepared himself for more verbal retaliation from her, but she left the room without another word and a few minutes later he heard the engine of a car shortly followed by the sound of tires moving on the gravel.

It was only then when Tommy realized he had maybe taken it too far. He wasn’t acting out of hatred. When he heard the bloke talking about how well Y/N felt snd bragging about having fucked Thomas Shelby’s wife, he felt his anger rise to levels he hadn’t known till before that unfaithful night. The man, obviously was dead before Tommy began heading home.

Nasty emotions had been festering in his mind with every kilometer he drove and when he saw Y/n when he arrived home, it all exploded.He was angry, not necessarily at Y/n, but angry at what she had done, angry at himself. He hated that he couldn’t have avoided what lead to Y/n having to do what she had done.

Y/n avoided her husband to her best efforts for the following week. Polly took her and her daughter in when she knocked crying on her door. Y/n couldn’t shake the nasty feelings Thomas had awoken within her. She couldn’t stand more than an hour without breaking into tears and her heart broke every time her little Jo looked at her with worried eyes, ignorant of what she was going through. It wasn’t something a 7 year old should know about.

Polly understood Y/n’s pain and helped her take care of Jo when she couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed.

“Your mummy’s tired. Let’s let her rest”

She had been there with her all along and when Y/n had asked her to keep her secret all those years ago, Polly obliged without question. She knew her nephew wouldn’t comprehend.

Days went by slow, heavy and cold. One Friday evening, pol had taken Jo to the movies giving Y/n a little time for herself.

Oddly enough, she felt like cooking so she made her way downstairs and began making vegetable soup. After half an hour or so she heard the front door opening.

“Was the film good?” She asked loudly hoping to hear the sound of Jo’s voice, but when she heard the footsteps coming closer to the kitchen she immediately identified them as Tommy’s  

“Please go away” she asked in such a broken voice that made Tommy contemplate on going away to not cause her further discomfort, but he stayed because he knew he had to make it right.

“We should talk” he said in an uncertain voice standing at a respectable distance from his wife.

“I don’t want to talk” she spoke shakily. Goosebumps suddenly taking over her body.

“I’m so sorry Y/n, I..”

“You made me feel like dirt” she stated as she heard his footsteps drawing nearer to her with his uncharacteristic apology.

“I spent so much time forcing myself to be alright with what I had to do keep Jo and I alive  and then to try and forget all about it when you came back” a  heavy breath holding back her years as she began chopping a carrot.

“But now you brought it back up and I... I feel so filthy, I’ve showered three times today and I don’t feel any better.” She continued as the first tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Y/n “He began softly placing a testing hand on her waist. She shook it away.

“Look at me” he pleaded

But Y/n shook her head no. Knowing he was in no place to reproach, he respected her unwillingness to look at him and spoke.

“Im so sorry, Y/n. I was selfish and didn’t stop to think about what you were feeling”

Y/n’s body continued to shake with silent sobs

“I now know I was in no place to judge what you had to do to survive and  I won’t ever forgive myself for making you hurt like this”

“Yeah you were in no place” y/n spat with sudden anger as she continued cutting the vegetables with tears in her eyes “Not when you didn’t even stop to ask me and decided to just listen to the part of the story some bloke told you and not...” she hadn’t noticed the force she was putting into her cutting skills until the knife grazed her finger.  

She yanked her hand away from the cutting board with a wince and immediately went to grab a piece of cloth to  wrap her finger in.

“Fuck, y/n” Tommy said coming to her side when he heard her wince. “Are you alright?”

She shook her head no and he knew she wasn’t answering about the cut.

“Please look at me” he tried again and to his surprise this time Y/n did tilt her face to face him.

The sight of her bloodshot eyes tore cracks in Tommy’s heart. And his hands shook a little when he cupped her face, a few tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“I love you Y/n” he professed looking into her eyes.”I’m so sorry I was so crass about it. And I promise you’ll never have to do that ever again. I’ll keep you safe”

At his words Y/n’s hands went to his. She understood and accepted his repentance, but it did little to soften the pain she felt. Tommys hands then went to tuck a few strands of her loose hair behind her ear his eyes still set on hers.

Y/n then succumbed to the sudden need she felt for his touch and embraced him with uncertain arms. Tommy corresponded instantly wrapping his own arms around her fragile figure.  After a few moments of silence and much needed touch, he asked to her ear if she could ever forgive him.

“Yes” she spoke weakly but she wasn’t entirely certain she meant it. She wanted to forgive him but she didn’t know if she could ever forget his hateful words. Tommy knew it well enough.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @nyotamalfoy @peakyxtommy @writeroutoftime @lilymurphy03

[chanelsebbie]

Hi! I loved the stuff on your other account, and I wanted to see if you could write something with Tom being needy, but when you snap at him, he becomes all big, macho, and dominant?? Thanks!

Needy

➵Warnings: Smut, needy tom, suggestive content, dub-con but not really, degrading

➵Masterlist

➵a/n: I loved this, you want me dead, b?? I love you tho and thank you for the request 🥺

“Tom, stop,” you mumbled, trying your hardest to pay attention to the script in front of you. 

But Tom planned on doing the opposite, his lips still on your neck, sucking small pink and red marks on your skin, his fingers drifting up and down your inner thighs, too close to where you needed him most. 

“Come on, darling, lighten up a little bit. You’ve been staring at that script for hours, I think you need a break from it,” he argued, turning your head with his finger under your chin, leaning in to have your lips on his. 

“Yeah, because it’s my job,” you argued, “How I make money. You can’t always be the breadwinner,” you shifted away from him. 

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he smirked devilishly, leaning over to your ear, whispering, “I can make you cum so hard you cry, darling, it would be all about you,”

He takes one of your hands, placing it right on his painfully hard bulge, “See what you do to me? Feel what you do to me?” he muttered. 

The shifting of your thighs didn’t go unnoticed by him as you swallowed hard. You wanted nothing more than to have him dip down between you legs and lick you until you passed out. But you really needed to finish this script before you started work tomorrow.

“Tommy, I can’t. I really have to finish this,” you said as politely as you could muster, knowing that you had been needy at times like this.

The eldest Holland brother scoffed at your dedication, even if he would do the same thing in your situation, seeing as you two had the same job.

“Just take a break,” he protested your argument, “the script will be there when you get back, darling,”

Now you were getting annoyed, Tom’s antics becoming a distraction rather than motive. You knew he wasn’t going to stop.

“Thomas. Stanley. Holland.” You finally gritted, his eyes growing wide at someone using his full official birth name besides his mother, “I said no,”

“Right,” he scoffed in disbelief, getting up and heading towards the bedroom before slamming the door behind him, not bothering to look back your way.

Something about the way he slammed that door told you that there was no more playful tone, and once you were done, you were going to be in for it.

You finished the script around an hour later, but stayed out there longer than necessary because you really, really didn’t want to see what Tom was cooking up in his devious little brain about a tit for a tat. 

Finally, you mustered up the courage to get up off the couch and set your script on the kitchen counter before finally slipping down the hall to the last door, hesitantly twisting the knob.

The first thing she was greeted with was Tom’s back to the doorway, most likely either pretending to be asleep or actually asleep.

You slipped into bed and under the covers, a warm lamp lighting the room as you scooted as close behind him as possible, wrapping your arms around him as you leaned in and kissed his neck gently.

If he wasn’t awake before, he definitely was now.

And yet he resumed in a dormant state, pretending you weren’t even there as he continued to stay in the same position.

“Tommy,” you silently whined, your fingers tracing his bare chest, trying to coax him to give in just like he did you.

“Tommy?” He scoffed, “I thought I was Thomas.”

You closed your eyes and let out a breath of regret, poking your head over him as you kissed under his earlobe, knowing it was his sweet spot.

“Come on, darling,” you teased, mocking his British accent.

Before you could think, Tom was grabbing you by the throat and hovering over you, a lustful sadistic look in his eyes as he searched your wide ones.

“I have half a mind to tie you to the bed and edge you all night, then leaving you there while I sleep on the couch,” he growled lowly.

You whimpered, knowing that was the last thing you wanted, and he knew it too.

“Or maybe I could just use you as a little plaything to get myself off and not touch you for the next week.”

“All this over me snapping back?” You challenged.

“You’re lucky I’m feeling merciful, princess, after all, it is your first time truly pissed me off, huh?” His grip tightened slightly, making you squeak.

“Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to fuck you until I cum. And if you cum as well, so be it, but it won’t be my problem. Understood?”

Your face sported a look of annoyance, but in all reality, you felt like this is what you needed. To be put back in place. To be dominated. 

“Understood?” he gritted when he recieved no answer, snapping you back into reality from your diviating thoughts. 

“Mhm,” you nodded, biting your lip to keep from letting loose a smile that would surely get you in deeper shit.

Without another word, Tom released your throat, letting his hand drift down your body, and you shivered right as he got to your v-line, his soft, intentional touches driving you insane. And needy.

Soon enough, his fingers found your clothed clit, drinking in the reaction you were giving him, your eyes on his.

Even though he was insistent on only pleasuring himself, you knew that he just loved make you cum just a little too much, making his promise futile.

His mouth was propped open, small pants tumbling from his lips as he took control, shifting your panties to the side and inserting a finger, curling it, not giving you any time to adjust before he was thrusting at a fair pace.

You whimpered and whined, writhing under him as he did his best to stay concentrated on pleasuring you. Put your sounds were so heavenly.... so distracting.

His pace quickened as he soaked in your musings, your arms going around his shoulders, hands going to the back of his head, pulling him in and locking your lips with his as your moans were now muffled with his mouth.

Suddenly, he pulled back, panting, “See? This is all I wanted, darling. Now cum,” you nodded as he did the same, “cum all over my fingers, slut.”

Like a dog on command, your core tightened around him as you threw your head back, letting out long, breathless sounds of pleasure as he helped you ride it out, now grinding his painful hard-on onto the skin of your thigh.

He abruptly yanked out his fingers, then stripping you forcefully as he threw you around like a rag doll, and once you were perfectly bare for him, he stood back to admire his favorite girl.

“Stunning,” he sighed out, before stripping himself, now going to hover over the top of you, his patience for release thinning.

He lined himself up with you, your eyes meeting his, a wordless confirmation that this is what you truly wanted.

It was a stretch, it always was, but it felt amazing to have him inside you, slippin in centimeter by centimeter, making you feel every ridge and vein. His want and his need for nobody but you. 

You were breathless as he started to move, sliding in and out as he stretched you, his heavy breaths making you squirm on his cock. His eyes were locked with yours, his chocolate brown eyes staring into yours, a disagreement leading to such a romantic, passionate moment. 

He began to go quicker, adding to the pressure in your core, leaning down and kissing your neck, whispering soft nothings into your skin as he continued to move. 

“Just like that,”

“So good for me, my perfect girl.”

“Fuck, clench around me like that again, darling,”

“I love you. I love you so fucking much,”

The outpour of affection made you weaker and weaker as you slipped into another headspace, whimpers and moans the only noise you could make as his paced quickened and hardened. 

“Fuck, I’m close, darling, are you close?” he panted, and you nodded, letting out a small ‘mhm’.

You clenched hard around him, both of you plummeting over the edge. Both of you let out a symphony of moans and gasps as you both slipped into a state of euphoria, the both of you grasping at each other as you did. 

The both of you struggled to catch your breath, Tom pulling back and looking at your closed ones, smiling to himself, knowing that he made you feel as good as he did. 

“Fuck,” you sighed. 

“So. Still feel like talking back?”

[tloujm]

Part XXVI: Giving Grief

Author’s Notes: This is the first chapter I’ve posted in months (literally since April). I don’t know if this is a full comeback. I have a few chapters in the drafts that need to be edited and formatted for posting but after that, I still plan on continuing the series bc my plan was always have a long fic. With no new content after part II of the game was released, my interest in the fandom waned but was always there. Now with HBO creating a show based off the game, as well as me being apart of the Pedro Pascal fandom, I think I will soon become more consistent in posting as new content gets released. I will say that at least half of what appeals to me for Joel is Troy Baker’s voice and while I love Pedro’s voice too, I know it won’t be the same. I still think Pedro will do the voice justice bc he can do a damn fine country accent as seen in the movie Prospect on Netflix. If you’re a fan of his and have Netflix, please go watch it!

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You and Joel reconcile and bond over Ellie and Sarah. 

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel waited for you to come home. He paced back and forth in the kitchen switching from holding the card and setting it down on the counter. He was eager to talk to you about this new revelation partly because he was nervous to have the other conversation with you. After a while of calming his nerves down, you still hadn’t come home. The sun had set an hour ago and Joel was ready to throw on his boots and go looking for you. 

Just as he laced them up, the front door opened. You walked in and immediately stopped because his body blocked you from walking in the house further. 

“Going somewhere?” You asked as you slid past him. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted, but the thought of him leaving to go do other things before the issue between you was resolved upset you. 

He reached back down to unlace his boots. “Not anymore. I was ‘bout to head out and find you.”

“Why?” You asked dryly.

“I’d been waiting on you to come home for a couple of hours. We gotta talk.”

“You’re right, we do. I was helping Wendy walk the kids home from the daycare; that’s what held me up. I’m here now, though.” You leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms. The stance you took reminded you of what Joel would do.

He walked into the kitchen and came back. “Kiddo made this for us.”

You took it in your hands. “When did she have time to make this?” He shrugged. Your fingers brushed across the drawing of the hat before finally opening it. “Oh my God.” She looked at you for a split second before looking back down at her signature. “Her name has been ‘Ellie’ the whole time.”

“I know.” He commented. 

“She never said anything. All of us have asked her.”

“Technically, she still hasn’t spoken her name, but I guess she wasn’t ready for that.”

“She wasn’t ready to let anybody in.” You said. He nodded in agreement.

“Until now.” He walked up to you and pointed to her name on the card. “She’s doing so good, this Ellie. I can only try to imagine the horrors that she’s seen out in the world before she came to Jackson, but whatever happened out there, it led her to us. I’m...It’s just nice to see her opening up to this place.”

You understood what he was trying to say. “Yeah, I’m proud of her too.” You walked past him and into the kitchen to hang the card on the refrigerator. Joel followed. This time, his arms were crossed.

“(Y/N), I meant it when I said I was sorry back there. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“If you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it.” You rebutted.

“I was upset with you because I expected you to react the same as me when Ellie climbed up that T-Rex, but I don’t want a carbon copy of myself. I love you and want to have a family with you because you are wise beyond your years, confident even if you don’t always think so, responsible even for things that aren’t your responsibility and most importantly, you’re level headedness. Where I have a tendency to lose my cool in certain situations, you are guided by this calm...patient sense of will that I envy.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, giving you the opportunity to say something. Seeing that you were still soaking in his words, he continued. “You’ll be a great mother. I saw it in the gentle way you juggled all those kids at the daycare. I saw it in the way you took care of Ellie the first day she came here. You’ll see though, if it’s meant for us to have a baby, how difficult it is to stop worrying. It didn’t stop when Sarah....even when I tried to push those feelings away. It doesn’t stop. I know she’s not her, but it’s hard for me to just stand by and watch her do something that could hurt her.”

“I wasn’t standing by, or at least that wasn’t my intention. I wanted to give her space. She’s so delicate, or maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t treat her like she’s some glass figurine. I just wanted her to grow comfortable with us by trusting her. Believe me, it wasn’t easy for me to do when there was nothing personally for me to go off of, but then I thought, she’s lived out there for God knows how long by herself. She’s not only seen things but has been able to survive things. It’s hard to see how clever someone is when they won’t let you in, but I knew she had to be to have made it this far. I get it though. I’ve never been a parent. I can only sympathize with your worries. I can not empathize with you until I’ve been where you have. I’m sorry too. I could have found a way to give her space without allowing her to be in such a dangerous spot. You must be disappointed in me.”

He moved up to you and placed his hands on your shoulder. “I’m not. Look at me. I’m not disappointed in you. She was both of our responsibilities earlier.” He brought you into a tight hug. “You’re right, she is smart. She felt comfortable enough to show a side of herself that no one else has seen. You know why? ‘Cause she felt safe around us. Despite the grief she put me through, it was nice to see her so happy.”

“I know it was, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she jumped though! I didn’t think she’d go that far.”

“At the end of the day, kids will be kids. It’s not an excuse to slack off on raising ‘em, but there's just a certain wild and carefree nature that every kid has. It’s instilled in their DNA or somethin’ and then it fades away as they get older, about the time their back starts to ache.” Joel chuckled as he explained. He kissed the top of your head before pulling away to get a good look at you. He made a face as if to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He took your hand and pulled you into the living room. You sat down next to him. “She reminds me of Sarah sometimes. Ellie’s about the same age as her. She ran me through the ringer, raising that one.” He chuckled at the memories. “I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, being her dad, but you shoulda seen the amount of grief she put me through. Especially being a single parent.” He wiped his hand across his face, letting it linger along the length of his neck. “One time, she snuck off to some skate park when I told her no. She was in this skateboarding phase. I bought her a customized skateboard for her birthday and she would practice using it up and down the driveway. She had barely learned that little flippy trick when she asked me to take her to the skate park. I told her no because it looked like it was for experienced skaters. I wanted her to practice more first. To say the least, she was mad at me. She told me she was staying after school for the science club, but she really went to the skate park with some friends. By the time I figured out where she was, I found her lying in the grass, holding her arm in pain. Turned out she had a hairline fracture in her...radius?” He pointed to the bone on his arm. You nodded that it was in fact called radius. “I grounded her for lying to me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have taken her to the park. I mean I’m no expert on skateboarding, but at least I could have been there to supervise; make sure she wasn’t on one of those tough looking ramps.”

“Did you ever take her skateboarding after she healed up?”

“After the cast came off, she switched interests to soccer. I installed a shelf on one of her walls to hang the skateboard on. Better that than being stuffed under her bed. Soccer was her life though. She made new friends from the team, won titles, learned tricks with the ball. Me and Tommy were regulars at her games. I was...am proud of her.”

You smiled as you envisioned his memories. “Did she give you grief with that as well?”

He nodded in an exaggerated way. “Oh yeah, but I’m sure I used to give her grief too.” You lifted your eyebrows with desire for him to elaborate. “I may or may not have argued with the coach and ref on a few occasions regarding plays.”

“You never dated any of the soccer moms?” You teased.

He scoffed. “Most of them were married and the ones who weren’t, I sent Tommy’s way instead. He wasn’t mad at it.” The two of you chuckled. “I did flirt with a few, married or not, so I could get my hands on some of their homemade baked goods.”

“I was under the assumption that soccer moms made food for everyone.”

“They did, but I still wanted a few more cupcakes for the ride home.” He admitted as you laughed. “Listen, I had a busy life. I didn’t have much time to hone my baking skills, so it was nice to be able to have homemade cakes and cookies for a change.

“Well, if you wanted cookies, that’s all you had to say! I can show you how to bake right now.”

“It’s late.” He reasoned.

“It’s never too late to feed your sweet tooth.” You rebutted as you pulled him back into the kitchen.

[flysafepapi]

best interests (pride more than anything) 6/?

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing(s): Ollie x OFC John x platonic!OFC Tommy x platonic!OFC

Tagging: @the-makingsofgreatness​

Summary:  Even in the short amount of time it’s been since Amelia moved to the city, she’s heard all sorts of stories about them. The Peaky Blinders. More than half of the stories, she suspects, are wildly exaggerated and  little more than idle gossip traded when people are well into their cups. Even so, she made a promise to herself to stay away from men who looked like trouble, especially after the last time, and if anyone in this dreary city was trouble, it was them.

masterlist

“Your man said it was all right for me to have this dance.”

He most certainly did not, Amelia thinks but doesn’t say. Ollie wasn’t happy when she’d told him she’d be a day late, especially when he heard the reason for the delay. He hadn’t understood why she agreed, but knew that there wasn’t any hope of talking her out of something when she’d already decided she was going to do it. Still, she knew there’d be a conversation about it when she did arrive.

“Well then how can I say no?” She smiles, even though she wants to tell him to keep his hands to himself, because she made Tommy a promise. Because she wasn’t doing this for herself, she was doing this to make sure John wasn’t being forced into marriage for the sake of a business deal. “I hope you’re better at the moves than him, but I don’t think you could be worse.” 

Objectively, the dance isn’t bad. She keeps the smile on her face, playing her part perfectly. It might’ve been enjoyable if her dance partner had been anyone else, but she can’t complain, it’s not like she was forced into this with a gun to her head. 

“Thank you for the dance.”

“Of course. Maybe we can do this another time.”

She doesn’t say another word until they’re back in the car. 

“Let me guess-”

“The numbers are enticing enough, but he’s specifically requested you. Two hours.”

“Optimistic, isn’t he?”

That can’t be a smile she sees on his face for a second. Surely not. 

“Ten minutes. If you take even ten seconds longer, I’ll kill him and then I’ll make you wish I was so merciful with you.”

~~~

“Pick up the glass.”

“Pick it up yourself.”

Foolishly, she hadn’t thought to bring the knife she rarely goes anywhere without, and so it’s still sitting on the side table back in her little apartment. She can’t do much more than brace herself against the push that pins her to the surface of the pool table behind her. There’s not a lot of fighting back she can do like this, with one of his hands around his neck, until her fingers close around something thin but solid. One of the pool cues, she guesses. What follows is as far from the plan as possible, but Amelia has always been good at improvising. 

When they were younger, much to the exasperation of their parents, her brothers and her had often got into scuffles, little fights so insignificant she can’t even remember now. She remembers how it works, though, and stamps on his foot as hard as she can in the stupid heels Hazel had let her borrow. 

The burst of pain loosens his grip for a second, and gives her enough time to shove him back and spin around. The sound the pool cue makes when it connects with his arm isn’t quiet, the snap of wood against skin, but it’s quieter than the scream that cracks through the air as a result. 

“You fucking-”

The first time was just a warning. The second hit is purely for her own satisfaction. The pool cue is light in her hands, but solid enough to do the damage she’s aiming for. She raises it again when he gets up, cradling the wounded arm with the other, taking a few steps away. Not enough to put herself out of range but enough that she’s out of reach. 

“Move and I’ll do it again.”

“I don’t know if you’re brave or just fucking stupid.”

“I could say the same thing to you. Now here’s how this is going to go. You’re going to stay right where you are, and I’m going to walk out of those doors. You’re going to stick to the deal that Tommy made with you.”

“And if I don’t?”

For all the bravado in his voice, he still flinches violently when she swings the pool cue down, just barely grazing him as it cracks against the floor, pieces breaking off and scattering in every direction. 

“Go back on the deal and find out.”

She glances up towards the doors when they open, Tommy slipping through with who she assumes is Kimber’s wife on his heels, and grins. “Come in, we were just having a nice and civil talk. Weren’t we, Billy?”

~~~

“Did you have to hit him? With a fucking pool cue of all things?”

“About time someone taught him a lesson about keeping his hands to himself.” She takes the cigarette case right out of his hands and lights two, passing one over. “He should feel lucky I didn’t do worse.”

“Is there anything you’re afraid of?”

“Any people? No. Insects, though? Nothing needs that many legs, it’s unnatural.”

The attempt at a joke falls flat, but she hadn’t really been expecting it to make him smile. She’s pretty sure, at this point, that he’s forgotten how. If anything, it only makes her more determined to make him laugh just once. 

“We’re going to need to do whatever it takes to make that deal with the Lees, then. I don’t think he’ll be particularly inclined in honouring the deal after that. Wounded his pride more than anything, and that’s far more dangerous.”

She carefully ignores his use of the word ‘we’, knowing that as soon as she does he’ll close right back up again and they’ll be back at square one.

“Then it’s a good thing I found someone else that can fulfil the terms instead of John.”

“And who’s that?”

“You.”

[hb-writes]

The Shelby Women’s Alliance

From the Little Lady Blinder universe. 

Prompted by this ask: “Would you write about Clara getting her period and she’s scared she’s dying so she tells Ada/polly?”

Characters Featured: Ada Shelby, Clara Shelby (Shelby!Sister), and Tommy Shelby (because apparently I just couldn’t leave him out of it).

-----

Ada sighed at the end of her sister’s long-winded and quickly expelled explanation. She quit her spot hovering by the door to sit beside Clara instead. 

“Oh, you poor little love,” Ada said, her voice letting out the slightest cavalier bit of laughter as she pulled her in for a hug. “You’re just fine. I promise you’re not dying.”

It took a moment for Clara to accept her sister’s hug, to release her small arms from around her own body and properly reciprocate. Clara felt as though she’d been hugging herself for days, not entirely sure what was going on with her body but far too embarrassed to talk to one of her brothers about it. 

Ada did feel sorry for the girl, for having it happen when she was the only female in the house for so many days, with Polly gone away for some time off. And she felt sorry for not preparing her better, for assuming that her little sister growing up in the same house and being vaguely exposed to the things women went through would be an education enough. Clara Shelby thrived on having the necessary information and she turned inward without it, a muddled attempt of protecting against the sense of deficiency not knowing made her feel. 

Ada should have sat her down and discussed it months ago, before she and Freddie moved to London, even. But as much as she felt sorry, and understood her sister’s embarrassment, and regretted not preparing her better, Ada was also concerned that her sister hadn’t voiced to a soul that she thought she was dying, not for three whole days. Clara had done no more than begging off school for the end of the week, citing nothing more than some nondescript nausea. 

Not until Ada, Freddie, and the baby walked through the door of number 6 for a visit that had been planned weeks ago, had Clara given even the slightest indication of there being anything more going on. And even at that, it had taken a bit more prompting than it should have for Ada to gather enough information from her sister to fully understand the situation.

“It’s alright, Clara. You’re a young woman now, is all.”

A wail came through Clara’s lips and Ada held her tighter. 

“But I don’t wanna be, Ada,” she answered.

“Well, we don’t have much choice in it, love,” she answered. “But you’ll be alright. Just a few days a month and--”

“This happens every month?” Clara shouted, pulling back from Ada’s shoulder, her eyes wet with tears. “Ada, I don’t want this every month!” 

Ada fought to keep her composure at her sister’s outrage. She rubbed Clara’s shoulders, giving her a sad smile.

“It’s just a few days and--”

“And it’s terrible and unfair and it hurts,” Clara whined.

“Yes, you’re right,” Ada answered, “but you’ll grow accustomed to it. It’ll get easier and--”

“I don’t wan--” 

A knuckle rapped on the bedroom door, cutting Clara off for a moment. 

“Go the fuck away, Finn!” she shouted from her perch on the bed.

The door swung open and Tommy leaned in the doorway. “What have I told you about that word?”

Clara gulped and her lip started to wobble, whether from her brother’s tone or the pain in her abdomen or the tiredness that had plagued for days or the fact that she’d been going through it all alone or any number of things floating through her mind.

Ada sighed, turning away from her sister for a moment. “Let it be, Tommy.” 

“Let it be?” Tommy met Ada’s eye. “Your sister’s been up in this room claiming sickness for two days now, feigning it by the looks of it, and--” 

“Get out, Tommy!” Clara shouted as she stood, moving towards the door, shoving her hands into his chest. “Just get the fuck out!”

“What did you say?” Tommy asked as he stepped into the room, his hand wrapped around Clara’s arm. 

“Oh, leave her be. Your sister’s not feigning anything.” Ada stood up to meet them, pried her brother and sister apart as she settled between them. “And she won’t be feigning it next month when it happens either, so if she asks you to get the fuck out, just do it.” 

Tommy’s mouth opened as his mind got around to understanding the meaning behind Ada’s words and he took a deep breath, nodding as he met Ada’s eye. “You’ll handle this, then?”

“I’ll handle it or Polly’ll handle it or Esme’ll handle it and I can’t imagine she’d ever want anything from you boys about it.” 

Tommy glanced behind Ada. Clara was still standing there a few steps away, her lip quivering, a few stray tears streaking her cheek as she held her arms around her body. He moved past Ada and grabbed Clara by the shoulders, pulling her into a hug before she could push him away. 

Like with her sister, it took Clara a moment longer than normal to accept the hug, to thaw enough from the cold solitude of the preceding days to accept the comfort of her brother’s arms. 

“If you want me out, I’ll get out,” Tommy said. “Next time just find some better words, eh?” 

“Get the hell out?” Clara mumbled into his chest.

Tommy chuckled. “Maybe put a please in there, eh?”

“Alright,” Ada started. “Enough with the semantics, Tom. We were in the middle of something.” 

“Ada’s right.” Clara pushed out of her brother’s hug. “Please do get the hell out.” 

“You know, I’ve always thought an alliance between you girls would be the greatest threa--”

“Women,” Ada interrupted.

“What?” Tommy asked, turning towards Ada and stepping away from Clara.

“It’s an alliance between women,” Ada corrected. “Your sisters are both women now, Tommy.”

That would take getting used to, the idea of his Clara being a young woman. “Right.”

“Well, Tom, unless you’d like to stay for a chat about the particulars…” Ada began, leading him towards the door with a hand on his shoulder. “Do pretty please get the fuck out.”

Ada offered him a smile as she held the door open a crack. 

“She’ll be fine, Tom. If you’d like to help maybe go fetch her some tea and biscuits, eh? The Shelby Women’s Alliance has the rest handled,” Ada whispered to him before she shut the door. 

-----

Read more Little Lady Blinder stories here.

[juuls]

So the good news is I’m not dying (well, let’s give it another 50 or so years then check back on that 😋)

I told a couple people but mostly kept it between my dad and I; at least, I told him stuff before my besties because I’m a daddy’s girl and I wanted comfort and hugs and someone physical to cry on.

And okay, look, what I’ve been experiencing is nowhere near as bad as others have it, but this was the worst case of nauseating gastrointestinal distress I have ever experienced to the point I woke up at 3am this morning, threw up for the 10th day in a row, clutching at my upper abdomen and barely able to walk (no one else was around to help me get there). Anyway, no one wants cramps where they’re not supposed to be on women—felt like when I ruptured an ovarian cyst a few years ago along with kidney stones another time, just felt higher up the abdomen.

Two points about the personnel at hospitals and how people with fibromyalgia get treated. One bad, and one surprisingly good.

The triage nurse told me I shouldn’t be wasting hospital time (there was no else in the waiting room because it was goddamn 5am) and that all ‘normal visits’ should be conducted through general practitioners/family doctors. Never mind the fact that the 2018 census showed 241 doctors for every 100,000 people. Which is abysmal, and I’m so lucky to have the same one for 20 years now. Anyway I told her in a snippy tone (I get bitchy when people imply I’m a hypochondriac or wasting people’s valuable space and resources as a disabled person) that a) it currently takes 6 weeks to get an appt with my doctor and that’s why I book two months in advance, but am shit out of luck if something pops up between all that. Like, I get a d understand and take precautions with Covid. But like??? Sometimes people need to have their abdomen poked and prodded which…

Might actually save my life/or from a long recovery surgery, or a lifetime of having to plan his and grandma’s days around his (I’m now learning: hereditary— thanks grampy) disease. But yeah this female doctor in probably her late thirties comes in and actually TAKES ME SERIOUSLY. I did also start the meet and greet by expressing concern over her doing what countless others have done…. Blame it all on the Fibromyalgia (oh you have a concussion Tommy?? Keep playing, it’s just your fibro!” Bitch please. Anyway. She said she absolutely understood and would help me figure out what feelings were fibro, and which were abnormal for anyone. Reminds me of this tweet I found around this hellsite:

But I’m so grateful she listed and she actually ordered all the blood panels they have available at this rural hospital, took x-rays, did a physical exam… and after all that and the tests she semi-smiled at me and said “well it’s not fibromyalgia” and I about cackled.

But yeah, if you start throwing up for no reason for 10 days in a row (plus some other gross things I shall not mention), please go to the hospital. Apparently I have something fucked up going on in my large/small intestine and perhaps colon. She was worried enough about me, since they don’t have the tech there except x-rays, that she said she’d bully my do tor into seeing me sooner so he can arrange some, uh…. Well; some not bad; some uuuugh…. tests to figure out wtf is going on.

I didn’t even know what was going on! So hard to explain pain when you’re in pain every day. Bah. But she helped and had excellent bedside manners and took me seriously. One of the best feelings as a fibro patient.

Only problem with it not being fibro… is you only have deductive reasoning and tons of tests to do. She told me if I don’t vet these tests done, I could die from a rupture or whatever term she used. Though I do know what sepsis is! Yay! *rolls eyes*

I’m just glad I didn’t talk myself out of going to the ER, because I was worried it ‘wasn’t serious’ enough…. Yeah well, your body can lie to you! Jerk body.

So yeah now I have a plan of action, new medications to hopefully last me until the more thorough tests are conducted.

I don’t want to be (more) sick, but I’ve always believed in knowing what can happen to your body even if it’s a bad thing. And maybe we caught this early.

All I can ask for now is this, though: please please please no more upchucking every day, or at leat only for a few days.

God, it’s been a miserable 10 days, but I still somehow feel better. Knowing does that. :)

(P.S. I’m not intending this as a ‘woe is me’ thing because sometimes people do care about how their friends are doing, and also because I am a hug supporter of listening to your body and judging WHEN not IF you go to the doctor about it. I hope this post helps that attitude somewhat.)

Anywho, we’ll see how the tests do (whenever that may be, because of Covid) and treagmt with meds a d adjust food until I learn more.

Take care. Be safe. Stay well!!!! ❤️

[jewishtommycoolatta]

entertainment of an angel

Word Count: 1030

Ship: Freelatta (Tommy x Gordon)

TW for unreality and religious themes.

-----

It’s said that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Tommy knows.

-----

He was just… different, you know?

Different in that way he couldn’t explain.

Maybe it was his eyes, seeing things Tommy couldn’t. His hands reaching up for something not quite there, not quite seen-- and for almost a second he could swear he could, could swear he saw that ring around his head, gently glowing…

Gordon seemed to have been working at Black Mesa for a while-- had to, to be in his position, working in such an important test-- but Tommy had never seen him before. He should have seen him before.

He was quite a sight.

Gordon knew… too much about things he shouldn’t, and not enough about things he should. He knew his coworkers-- and knew how to step over their bodies. He knew how to get through the twisted facility, dark and dilapidated as it was, yet he-- he forgot the name of the event. The Resonance Cascade. He knew how to wield a weapon. He forgot people’s names so easily.

And-- he was so kind. He wanted to help everyone. He was devastated, so devastated, at every death-- senseless, senseless senseless death, and him so mad that he couldn’t control it when he thought that he should?--

The world seemed to disappear when he went just too far out of sight. The lights always seemed to glow just for him, almost like it was coming from him-- and if Tommy strayed too far, he’d be left in the dark. 

He didn’t want to be left in the dark.

And Gordon wouldn’t let that happen. He led him by the hand, healing his blind eyes-- a miracle, really, textbook, even-- leading him. Leading them all, really, but leading him.

Maybe he should have stayed the leader. Maybe then that wouldn’t have happened.

If an angel can be wrestled, then an angel can be cut. An angel can be severed, screaming, bloodied and dragged, consciousness fading out a scream like a prayer.

And-- well, at least it proved something.

He was a higher being.

Tommy felt like nothing. He felt nothing. Swarming all around him. In his head. Whirring in his ears.

Nothing numbers making up his soul, his fake heart beating on script.

Gordon was the only real thing in this fake world.

That was one kind of way to be holy.

When he came back, Tommy almost couldn’t look at him. Averting his gaze like it might kill him to look in his face, halo eyes, where he knew he saw things he didn’t, where he saw him the way he couldn’t see himself.

In a three-dimensional world, our shadows are two-dimensional, and a cross-section of an object is also two-dimensional. In theory, a world with four dimensions would have objects that cast shadows and have cross-sections that are three-dimensional.

Gordon breathed like Tommy didn’t, and Tommy wondered what he looked like out there, extra-dimensional. Where he really was.

Fathomable only by guessing. 

He wondered if he could really feel this pain (just in case, he was extra careful with the isopropyl alcohol, his fingers ghosting over that little bit of skin exposed just before that blasphemous cut, afraid he was going to break him even though he knew someone so much more than him could never be really hurt by him, and that really didn’t need to be disinfected anyways, form not bound by digital pain like Tommy was.  He held him carefully anyways.)

Maybe it was almost a reward-- a boost to his ego. The privilege of protecting a protector. Dragging his heavy avatar through the water, delirious man spouting whatever his nonsense was, shooting clones and navigating through a maze of lab he’d never seen before (and as far as his fake memories went, never really existed until now), fighting his way through with a being pretending to be too weak to defend himself.

His father-- his father didn’t seem to understand. Maybe he understood, yes, that they weren’t really there the way he was, but didn’t seem to grasp that-- that--

When Gordon went to ‘sleep’, Tommy watched. That glow around him faded, and then everything faded, including Tommy, and nothing swarmed in his ears again. And Tommy hated swimming in it, somewhere without purpose, and if all he needed to be was close to a man he already wanted to hold like the way the shore cradles the tide, rocking it in its arms, then he was blessed. If all he needed to live was what he wanted to live for anyways, then he was blessed.

Gordon beat the video game. There was never any doubt that he would. It was made to be. Some silly little world, just for him to prance about in, no need to care as much as he did, though he did, though he did--

He went to his birthday party.

His fake birthday party.

His birthday party that he knew was fake. Celebrating a fake man, so utterly beneath him that he could close his eyes and he would literally disappear. Gordon seemed to hate it, even, but still stayed, ring glowing, seeing things he couldn’t see, ignoring things he couldn’t see. Choosing to see him instead. Choosing to see him instead.

According to the original descriptions of angels, they seem to have lots of eyes, circling around and around, all the better to all-see with. Lots of things to choose to look at. 

Hunkered in a corner, chowing down on shitty cardboard pizza, extra-fake in the third dimension, Tommy rambled on about books and manuals he read sometime before he existed. 

Gordon, in all his cross-section, his fleeting glimpse at the incomprehensible, his infinite status and beating heart, his halo all-seeing eyes, he watched. And he listened.

According to the Talmud, every blade of grass has an angel that bends over it and whispers for it to grow. It takes a special, holy kind of love to care for something that insignificant.

Insignificant Tommy, polygons on a screen, dead as soon as he decided he was done with him. And he was whispering to him, that holy love, that eternal attention.

And with all his undeserving heart, caressed by the tide, he listened.

[marjansmarwani]

I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart

5.1k || ao3

When Carlos and his partner encounter the bank robber with the bomb, Carlos knows in his gut that the man is telling the truth. But it's not that simple because nothing ever is so when the man offers a compromise Carlos jumps at it and he tries to help him by removing the bomb. It does not end well, and it's left to TK and his crew to pick up the pieces.

TK wants nothing more than for Carlos to be okay, than for this nightmare to be over, but when Gabriel Reyes arrives it's clear that the universe is not done throwing curveballs at them yet. ----- Day 3 of Angst Week: Coda/Fix-it for 2x08

-----------------

“Trust your instincts, Carlitos,” his dad had told him, “they are the only thing in life that won’t steer you wrong.”

He had been 15 at the time and he and his dad had spent hours together, working side by side on the ranch, Gabriel dropping words of wisdom as they came to him and interspacing it all with anecdotes and thrilling stories from his job. It was normal, such a typical part of his life that he didn’t think about it until it had happened less and less shortly after he had turned 17, shortly after he had a certain conversation with his parents.

Logically he knew there were a number of reasons for this: he had graduated high school shortly after and was around the ranch less and less. His dad had gotten a promotion and was working longer hours. There were any number of reasons that all made perfect sense, but Carlos could never shake the feeling that maybe that one conversation had been one of them. It didn’t change the fact that those hours and those stories and chats had been so formative to Carlos. They were a large part of the reason he had become a cop, and they were a large part of what shaped his conscious and his decision-making process.

And now, standing in an alley with his gun leveled at a man with a bomb strapped to his neck and a bag of stolen money in his hands, it came back to him again: trust your instincts.

His instincts told him this man was telling the truth, that he was being forced and that his life was in danger. He believed him when he told him that he wanted nothing more than to get home to his son, to little Enrique. But he couldn’t just let him walk away with a bag full of several thousand dollars — not if he wanted to keep his job.

Mitchell and the suspect were both watching him, both waiting for him to come to a decision, to break the tie. He knew what his partner wanted to do. He knew that she wanted to follow the book, but his instincts were screaming at him that it wasn’t right, that they would be condemning an innocent man to death and a child to a life without his father.

Perhaps the man sensed his hesitation; maybe he somehow knew that Carlos was on the fence because when he spoke next it was directed to him, and it was a compromise: “If you can get this thing off of me,” he began, voice steady but eyes still pleading, “I will give you the money and go with you. I’ll tell you everything I know about the people who did this. Please, I—” he broke off and when he continued his voice had lost its steadiness. It was full of desperation, “I don’t want to die.”

Carlos looked at Mitchell, but he was already lowering his gun. They communicated silently for a moment before his partner relented, lowering her own weapon, “Fine, but we are not touching it. We are calling for the bomb squad.”

“There’s not enough time for that,” the man protested. “If I’m in one place for too long they’ll know something is wrong. And if they think something is wrong…” he trailed off, but Carlos could fill in the blanks pretty well.

“Go ahead and radio for the bomb squad,” Carlos told Mitchell as he holstered his weapon, “but I’m going to take a look. I think he’s right and that means we don’t have that kind of time on our side.”

“Reyes—”

“We don’t have a lot of options here, Mitchell,” he reminded her tersely. “Either we run the risk of driving what is possibly an active explosive device into a police station or we let him go. I think this is the best shot we have, for everyone involved.”

She bit her lip, but nodded, “Do what you can, but please try not to get yourself blown up Reyes. That’s an awful lot of paperwork.”

“I’ll do my best,” he agreed as he stepped forward, gesturing for the man to turn so he could see the mechanism clasped around his neck. It looked fairly simple, at first glance, but there were some wires that were concerning, to say the least.

“Anything you could tell me that might help?” he asked the man wryly, but he shook his head frantically.

“No, they just held me down and put it on. I couldn’t stop them. I…” he broke off with a sob and Carlos could feel his heart clench.

“Hey,” he told him evenly, “we’re going to do everything we can to get you out of this and home safe to Enrique, I promise. I just need you to stay calm and still. Can you do that?”

He waited until the man started to nod before thinking better of it and instead giving him a small, quiet, “Yes.”

“That’s good,” Carlos told him bracingly, “now just hang tight and I’m sure we’ll have this off in no time.”

He felt around the band holding it to his neck. While the device itself looked complex, closer inspection showed him that it was secured to the terrified man by simple straps. He made quick work of them with his utility knife, and even though some were too close to wires for his comfort he is still able to cut enough of them that between him and his partner, they are able to ease it off the man.

When it is finally off he nearly sags in relief, almost collapsing on the ground before them and only held aloof by Mitchell’s bracing hold.

“Thank you,” he told him appreciatively, “thank you! I thought...thank you.”

“Of course,” Carlos said evenly, studied the device now in his hands, “I’m just glad we were able to get it off without incident.”

“Maybe they were lying to me,” the man admitted, “I was too scared to ask too many questions. Maybe it’s just a fake after all.”

Carlos wanted to believe him, but while he was no expert in explosives the contraption in his hands did not look fake. His opinion was reinforced when the lights started blinking more rapidly, and the man paled.

“The tracker,” he whispered. “They must have realized that I’m not coming, they must have triggered it. I’m so…”

But Carlos didn’t wait to hear the rest of his apology. “Get down!” he instructed Mitchell, who pulled the man down with her even as his desperate eyes followed the device and his mouth still moved in soundless apologies. Carlos pulled his arm back and launched the device as far away from them as he could, further into the alley before them. Maybe he could throw it far enough, maybe it wouldn’t be a large explosion. Maybe whoever had made it wasn’t good with explosives, maybe it wouldn’t even…

But all of his conjecture was cut short by a resounding boom as the device exploded in the air. The force of the blast pushed him off his feet and the searing heat caught him on the way down. It was disorienting; loud and fast and hot. He could feel his body being pelted by debris, he could feel the sharp pain as it sliced through him on its way by. He hit the ground with a resounding crash that echoed in his head as it bounced off the ground as pain bloomed from everywhere all at once. His last view was of bits of destruction raining down like snow, gently drifting as it obeyed gravity. It could have been beautiful if it hadn’t been for the pain.

He blinked again, feeling his eyes grow heavy. He wanted to look around, to check on his partner and the man who had formerly had a bomb stuck to his chest. He couldn’t summon the energy to move an inch. He supposed he could take the small comfort of having been right, he supposed as his eyes drifted closed. His instincts had been right, on all of this.

His last fleeting thought before everything went black was that sometimes he wouldn’t mind if his instincts were wrong.

-----------

The 126 paramedic crew pulled up to the scene in tense silence. The intel had been spotty but what they knew was enough to have TK gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white: there had been reports of an explosion, there had been police on the scene before the explosion, and those police could not be reached now.

That was all they knew because it was all dispatch had been able to piece together. There was no saying what kind of explosion or what kind of destruction it had left behind. There was no knowing what had gone down or who the officers ever were. All TK knew was that his gut was filled with a dread that grew incrementally as he sped towards the scene. He knew that his team had picked up on his tension, that they understood how his fear was different from theirs. He couldn’t put into words how much he appreciated them letting him be.

There was an eerie silence over the scene as they stepped out of the ambulance when they arrived. They weren’t far from the main street; it was as if a hush had fallen over the alley in reverence to the fallen. Because there were fallen — they could see that now as they drew closer. Three figures sprawled on the ground; unmoving and surrounded by destruction. They gathered their gear and rushed forward, Tommy alerting dispatch that they would require additional RA units to respond.

It was another step and another heartbeat before TK realized just how well he knew one of the fallen figures and in that instant, he couldn’t breathe. His feet moved forward of their own accord and his mind frantically tried to process every detail of the horrible sight before him as he crashed to his knees besides Carlos’s still form. There was blood, but he couldn’t tell from where. Burns were likely too, given the singe marks and lingering heat. But TK’s chief concern was that Carlos wasn’t moving, that there had been no acknowledgment of his arrival. Even in sleep, Carlos seemed to know when TK was nearby but now, there was nothing.

He reached out a shaking hand to his neck, holding his breath as he waited, as he prayed to feel the familiar thrum of a pulse under his hand. For a long moment, there was nothing and TK was sure he would shatter. But he shifted his hand because Carlos couldn’t die today and tried again. He waited, every ounce of his being focused on the hand on Carlos’s pulse point until a slow but steady rhythm began to beat under his fingers and TK finally allowed himself to breathe.

“Pulse is weak but present,” he announced to Tommy who had kneeled beside him, his voice sounding strange even to his own ears. His captain nodded and reached into her bag, pulling out her gear as she appraised TK.

“Are you good Strand?” she asked. “Usually I would tell you to stand down, but given the situation, we don’t really have a choice. I need all hands on deck.”

TK took a deep breath and nodded, reaching into the case beside him to pull out what they would need. No, he was not good but he knew Tommy was right: there was no other option. Either he did this or risked losing Carlos for good, and he would always do anything in his power to stop that from happening. That was not an option he could live with. “I’ve got this Cap, what do you need me to do?”

“Start the exam while I finish up his vitals. We need to know what we’re dealing with here.”

“What about the other two?” he asked even as he started following her instructions. “Don’t you need to…”

But Tommy shook her head, “They’re both relatively fine, Nancy can handle them until more help arrives. Reyes here seems to have taken the brunt of the blast.”

TK nodded without hesitation. It sounded like Carlos, after all: always trying to be everyone’s shield.

He began his exam, starting with his head. It seemed like every moment revealed a new injury: blood on the back of his head, likely from a fall. Cuts and abrasions of various sizes littered across his body, fragments of what looked like a car taking up residence where they didn’t belong. Each new discovery struck TK like a physical blow, but he pushed on.

The head injury was the most concerning, for a while. But as TK moved forward, as he examined more he learned that was not the case. There was a large piece of sharp metal sticking out of the left side of his abdomen and though TK had no way of knowing how long it was, it looked as if the majority of it was buried inside Carlos’s body, far far too close to vital organs for TK to breathe easily. He sucked in a breath and alerted Tommy, who grimaced when she saw it.  

“Pack it tightly,” she instructed him, handing him the gauze and tape necessary for the job, “make sure there is no room for it to move during transport. We want it held still until they are able to remove it at the hospital.”

TK nodded and took the gauze, tightly winding it around the intrusive object so that it held firm. He watched with dread as the gauze steadily turned red as blood sluggishly leaked out from around it. There were so many ways an injury like this could go wrong, too many ways that it could turn fatal. The thought alone was almost enough to send TK reeling but he pushed it down. This wasn’t the time; Carlos needed him here. He needed him focused. He couldn’t risk falling apart when the very existence of the one person who just might mean more to him than anyone else in this world depended on it.

TK and Tommy had finished examining Carlos and packing what wounds they could to prep him for transport when the requested additional units arrived. Tommy gave them a run down as TK and Nancy loaded Carlos onto the gurney and transferred him to the back of the ambulance. Not a word was said when TK climbed into the back instead of the driver’s seat, Nancy stepping around to take that spot instead without a word.

As they drove he and Tommy continued working; monitoring and treating Carlos the best they could. In all that time and all the movement, Carlos had not stirred once and TK tried hard not to think about that, to dwell on what it might mean. He managed to hold it together, to stay professional and focused until they arrived at the hospital and unloaded the gurney, Tommy relaying the necessary info to the medical team that met them at the doors.

He held it together until the moment Carlos’s still and bloody form disappeared through the doors of the trauma bay. Then, with nothing left to focus on, he finally let the tears come.

He felt arms around him and felt himself being guided to a chair that he sank into gratefully, aware now that his entire body was trembling. Now that they were here and now that Carlos was in the care of the doctors, the situation was out of his control. Whatever happened now, he had no say in. He had done all he could and he had to hope that it was enough. Carlos’s injuries returned to him in flashes and TK knew with a sinking dread this was not going to be a short wait. It would be a while before any news came; good or bad.

So he sat here in the waiting room, tears running down his face and his team at his side, waiting for the answer he knew would come eventually, hoping and praying that it would be one he could live with. That somehow, despite all the odds, Carlos would be okay.

TK couldn’t lose him, it was as simple as that.

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After a while, there are no more tears left.

It was a surprisingly short time before he cried himself dry, until he pulled himself together and settled into quiet fear. Tommy and Nancy settled in to wait with him, offering their quiet reassurances and comforting presence until their radios sounded. He found words enough to assure then that it would be fine, that he understood. That he would be fine on his own. They didn’t look like they believed him, but what other choice did they have? So, with a promise that he would keep them updated and that they and the rest of the crew would be by as soon as they could, they were gone and TK was alone.

He sat in silence, alone in the waiting room, trying to keep his mind from spiraling. But no amount of bouncing his leg could keep him from picturing the scene, from thinking of what Carlos must have gone through, from imagining the worst. He twisted his hands in his lap, noticing a spot of blood that had slipped past the protection of his gloves on the inside of his wrist. He swallowed and turned his arm so he couldn’t see it. He didn’t need a physical reminder; the scene was still all too fresh in his head.

Every single detail of it was seared into his mind and TK knew with a sinking dread that this was one of those times where being a paramedic put him at a disadvantage. He had seen more than his fair share of injuries and over time, you got a sense from the ones that people walked away from. The injuries he had treated Carlos for — the ones that had littered the body he loved so well — were not those. He knew that losing Carlos was a real possibility.

He also knew that it wasn’t that simple. He knew that losing Carlos meant losing his world, and he couldn’t face that.

Nearly an hour of silent, solitary waiting passed before he heard footsteps approaching his seat in the waiting room. His mind was still too fractured to process their proximity so when they halted and someone sank into the chair beside him, he hardly gave it a thought (he hardly had a thought left to give). The tears may be gone but the bone-deep fear was ever-present and all-consuming; his constant companion as he sat and waited, rubbing his still shaking hands on his legs.

And so he doesn’t process anything until the figure beside him started speaking: “You know, Carlitos didn’t always want to be a cop. He wanted to be an astronaut first, for the longest time.”

The voice was shaky but startlingly familiar. It took TK a moment to place it but when he did the shock was visceral; running through his whole body as he looked up to see Gabriel Reyes sitting next to him, eyes staring off in the direction of the treatment rooms that currently held his son.

“Maybe if I had encouraged that desire a bit more, we wouldn’t be here,” the man said quietly, sadly. “Maybe he would be a world away, but safe.”

TK didn’t know what to say to that. Somewhere between the shock of his boyfriend’s father appearing and the fact that he was speaking to him as if he knew him TK had lost the ability to speak. He could simply stare.

“I suppose that’s neither here nor there though,” Gabriel continued, “I suppose we are past what-ifs.”

He turned then, taking his first look at TK. He looked him up and down, registering the blood staining his uniform and the anxiety and fear radiating from him with a grim expression. “You treated him,” he observed, voice growing quieter and softer. “First of all, thank you. No matter what happens, thank you.”

His gaze held TK’s, his eyes (so much like Carlos’s it almost broke TK to look at them) sad and heavy with worry. TK swallowed down the tears that threatened to return and nodded.

“I can’t imagine having to do that,” Gabriel continued in the same tone, “I can’t imagine having to keep your head about you when you see someone you care about hurt like that. That shows real strength, in my opinion. I’m not so sure I would be as strong.”

TK heard the words being said, but he simply stared in response. Someone you care about he had said. And the look in his eyes…

“You knew?” TK said, finally finding the words that had eluded him for so long, “About Carlos and I?”

Gabriel nodded, “Since we ran into y’all at the market,” he confirmed.

TK was left staring again, but for a different reason. Carlos’s parents had known. They had known for weeks now. They had known as Carlos tore himself apart, they had known as the secret almost ripped TK and Carlos apart. They had known and they hadn’t said anything.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he finally managed.

“We wanted Carlitos to come to us on his own, in his own time,” Gabriel told him softly. “We didn’t want to push.”

TK watched the older man look sadly back towards the doors separating them from Carlos and for the first time since it happened, he found an emotion besides fear rising up in him.

“It has been eating him alive,” he told Gabriel, voice far stronger and far sharper than before. “It almost cost us our relationship. He is afraid of how you will react, he is so afraid that…” he trailed off, feeling that he was veering into territory he should never enter without Carlos’s consent or presence. He allowed himself a breath before he continued: “He was afraid to tell you and this whole time you’ve known?”

It’s not until his hot anger begins to fade from his mind that he can fully process the reaction from his boyfriend’s father. Gabriel’s eyes are wide in shock and horror, and TK came to his senses with a resounding crash.

“I’m sorry,” he says more softly, calmly. “That was out of line. It’s not my place to—”

“No, I think it is,” Gabriel disagreed, cutting off TK’s apology. “It’s your concern as much as his, after all.”

“Still,” TK tied again, “I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

“Perhaps not,” Gabriel agreed with a dry laugh that felt so foreign amongst the fear still so heavy in TK’s heart, “but it certainly got the point across.”

They studied each other for a moment before Gabriel spoke again, “I know I haven’t been a perfect father,” he admitted, “but I do love my son.”

“I don’t doubt that,” TK assured him. “Carlos loves you too, I know that for sure.”

“And you?” Gabriel asked, fixing him with a piercing gaze. “Do you love my son?”

“I do,” TK said firmly. “More than I have ever loved anyone.”

“Does he love you?”

“Yes,” TK said, without hesitation. “He has never let me doubt that, even when I’ve wanted to.”

There was silence again as the two men regarded each other and after a long moment, Gabriel nodded, expression sad.

“We’ve missed so much,” he said quietly. “We should have done better. We will do better,” he promised, voice stronger as he met TK’s eyes, “when he wakes up.”

His voice was strong and his eyes certain, and TK nodded, taking comfort in the older man’s certainty that there would be a future, that they would get to see Carlos again.

Gabriel smiled at him before continuing, “I’d like to get to know you, TK. You and my son and what you are together; if you’ll let me.”

The expression on the older man’s face was sincere and despite everything, TK managed to find the smallest of smiles.

“I’d like that,” he agreed. “I’d like that very much.”

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If Carlos had to describe everything that came after the pain in a word it would be confusion.

There was pain and then darkness, that he knew for sure. But everything after was a haze. There were moments of awareness (he thinks) here the darkness lifted and he could hear voices. He couldn’t make out the words and the voices didn’t make sense. It sounded like TK and his father, but he didn’t know how that was possible. Awareness didn’t last for long though, so his final thought before he slipped back into the darkness was that his mind was playing tricks on him.

When he woke up again, his head felt clearer. He was more sure that he was actually awake and alive, this time. There were still voices and he could almost make out the words. He could even place them with absolute certainty: they were TK and his father. But that still didn’t make any sense, even to his less hazy mind.

He blinked his eyes open, having to repeat the process several times in order to adjust his eyes enough to see. There was a hand holding his own and he squeezed it, hearing a familiar intake of breath in response.

“Carlos?” TK asked voice choked with emotion, “Can you hear me, babe?”

“Ty,” he said in response, pulling his eyes open fully and tilting his head to drink in the sight of his beautiful boyfriend, grinning through tears. He tried to reach up a hand to wipe them away but his limbs felt heavy.

“Try not to move too much,” TK said softly, “you’re still pretty hurt.”

“What happened?” he asked, and TK looked across his bed before another familiar voice cut through the room.

“What do you remember, Carlitos?”

Carlos whipped his head around to the other side of the bed - or at least, whatever the slow and painful equivalent of whipping his head was - to see his dad sitting in the seat to his right.

“Dad? What’re you...” he trailed off turning to TK again with a baffled expression but his dad pressed on.

“Try to answer the question, mijo. What do you remember?” His dad’s voice was soft but the instruction was clear. Carlos looked into his dad’s eyes as he tried to pull the bits of memory together into a cohesive memory.

“There was a man,” he said slowly, “he robbed a bank, but he didn’t want to.” He paused and his dad nodded and smiled at him, urging him to continue. “There was a bomb around his neck, he said two guys forced it onto him. He said they had a tracker on him so he couldn’t go with us because they would set it off. He said that if we could get it off of him he would come with us though and tell us everything he knew, so I did. I guess it didn’t like that much though, because the last thing I remember is it exploding, I think.”

There was silence as he finished his account and Carlos pieced the rest together in his mind. Mitchell hadn’t wanted him to try, she wanted to wait for the bomb squad…

“Mitchell!” he exclaimed, looking frantically back to TK, “and the man. Are they…?”

“Easy Carlos,” TK said calmly, squeezing his hand again and leaning closer, “don’t worry, they’re fine. A little banged up, but you got the worst of it. It looked like you were closest to the blast,” he added quietly, voice turning more serious. “You were certainly the worst off of the three of you.”

Something in the way TK said it filled him with dread. “Did you…” he began, and TK nodded. “Ty,” he said softly, squeezing his hand this time as best he could, “I...I am so sorry. I wish you never had to see that, I can’t even imagine.”

“Don’t you even start with me, Carlos Reyes,” TK told him firmly. “This was not your fault. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.”

“Besides,” his dad added from the other side, “I think we should all count our blessings that it was your boy and his team. I have no doubt they are the best and that they would have moved heaven and earth to save you.”

Carlos couldn’t agree more, as much as he would rather TK never have to experience that level of pain on his behalf ever. He was about to say as much when something else his dad said struck him. Your boy. He knew. He knew that TK was his boyfriend. He looked to his dad again, searching his face for any clue before finally asking the question.

“You know?” His dad’s expression didn’t change and Carlos shifted his gaze to TK, who looked down.

“I’m sorry Carlos, I know you wanted to tell them in your own time but…”

“But your boy did nothing wrong, Carlitos,” his dad interrupted, shooting TK a firm look. “We already knew. I approached him. All he did was make me see how we had been hurting you by not acknowledging it and for that, I am so sorry son.”

Carlos blinked at his dad, processing his words before turning to TK with a raised eyebrow, “Do I want to know what happened while I was unconscious?”

TK grimaced and his dad laughed, “I will say you’ve found yourself a tough one. He has spine for sure, mijo.”

“Yeah,” Carlos agreed, studying TK as he winced at his dad’s statement, “he’s pretty special.”

TK relaxed at his words and gave him a warm smile, squeezing his hand gently. Distantly he could see his father watching them fondly and Carlos was struck by the surrealness of this moment. He had pictured this so many times: his boyfriend and his dad co-existing, him casually showing his affection for someone he loved in the presence of his family. He had ached for it for so long and a part of him had always been convinced that it would never be any more than a dream.

Yet here they were. The proof was right before him in the hand holding his own, in the soft kisses pressed to his forehead by the man he loved, in the soft smile of his father as he watched from his chair on the other side of his bed. Never had he expected to find such happiness in the wake of such pain and fear, but he knew he would be eternally grateful for this ending to this disaster because it had brought about a wonderful beginning.

[ka-writes]

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Notes: READ WARNINGS!!

Please I really want you to be safe.. anyways, this is mainly a set up for the next chapter.. it has a shit ton of angst prepare yourself.

Also am very sorry it is late!! ‘‘Twas very hard for me to start writing it, btw I started another AU please go check it out, thank you <3

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Warning: Torture I go into detail, gore, cussing manipulation, characters lose sense of reality.

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In case you missed:

Chapter 1:

Chapter 6:

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Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Ao3 link for this work:

And my other AU:

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Change 7: This is a dream… right?

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He was back where he started this whole thing.

In a cage.

One cage over from the door and now in the middle of the room. It felt empty and bare, yet full of an uncomfortable sense of dread and fear, though he would never admit that aloud.

This time there was only one other cage in sight. The room had changed as well. It was no longer covered in grime, or smelled of blood. Instead it was a sickly white and smelled of rubbing alcohol. Which caused his nose to burn with the overwhelming scent of the cleaning supplies, making the entirety of the room feel more and more like one of those horror stories in hospitals, the only difference being that this one was real.

The thing that replaced the other cages and humans was an operating table with vials and tools that Tommy couldn’t identify.

There were no lights currently, except for the same small door window, which was the only thing that really stayed the same.

It was cold, it felt empty. There was no description fit for the amount of dread Tommy felt. It was built up after laying in the dark for so long. It burned his gut and made his head swirl with thoughts of what would happen next.

He wouldn’t ever admit he was scared, but the situation kinda explained itself.

Without warning the door swung open. No squeaks like last time, just a smooth motion allowing the room to be basked in yellow light from the hall.

Then the lights turned on, immediately causing Tommy to shut his eyes. His head started throbbing and every fiber in his body screamed at him to run. The lights turned into blurry blinding blobs that lit everything in a white fire, making it apparent that the room was indeed scrubbed of any stains or blood. Once his eyes finally adjusted, his migraine caught up to him, making the entire thing unbearable.

“Hello there!” An alien stepped in the room. Their features were outlined in white and their skin wasn’t even recognized, simply because it looked like a shadow. They had claw-like hands and wore glasses over their white to red eyes. They had a black doctor’s coat and wore black pants with white knee high boots. They had a devilish tail along with devil horns and a floating white halo. Their fangs poked out from a blinding white mouth, which was curved into a practiced smile.

“My name is BadBoyHalo, but you will refer to me as Dr. Halo.” They finished with a sickly sweet tone and a side smile, “My pronouns are he/him, and I will be taking care of what happens while you’re here.. not that you will ever leave of course.”

His mind was racing. Everything told him this was real, but he couldn’t help but pray that it was all a sick dream.

“Now we will start off easy and move onto the harder stuff later! Please refrain from trying to run, we have a shock function attached to your translators.” This caught him off guard. Why was he using plural tenses?

He looked towards the other cage, that’s when he noticed the strange bee alien also wearing a petrified expression. His eyes didn’t wander to the other cage, only watching Dr. Halo.

“Now who do we start with?” The doctor asked, even though he clearly already knew. A twisted smile shone on his face letting the light catch the awfully amused glint in his eyes, “Let’s start with the droneling!”

——————

There was no explanation for where the two went.

They simply vanished. No traces to follow or reasons to run.

The only logical explanation was Dream catching them. Which meant Techno would have to ask around for where the ship was harboring. The only problem being, he was awful at talking to people.

“So what do you wanna know?” A tall Wollylock person asked, she was the only known person to know anything about Dream, being his mother and all.

“Er- information on the Dream Team Ship.” Techno stated rather awkwardly.

“Why?” The captain asked, impatience clearly visible with her expression.

“They took two starlings from my crew.” At that the captain practically fumed with furry.

“I will help. After all, that boy needs to learn some manners.” The captain stated, her determination was infectious. “What is your craft’s name?”

“The SBI Craft, piloted by captain Philza.” He said robotically.

“Course it has to be Phil. That man has what, four kids he claimed to his crew..”

“Technically, I am not a kid, neither is Wil- Er our scientist, so really he’s only harboring three kids, now one since two were taken..” Techno decided that was the best explanation he could come up with, though there was really no point.

The captain chuckled and brushed off the other’s attempts at defending the crew. “Just send me the ship’s cords and your captain’s contact and I will be in touch.” With that the captain slid a communicator over the table and walked out of the sketchy bar.

Techno made his way back to the ship and delivered his captain the news. He tried to ignore the gut feeling that everything was wrong…

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(The next section has graphics depictions of torture and gore, please skip this section if it could or will trigger you in any way, there is a summary at the end. Thank you <3)

The world moved unbearably slow. The cage opened ever so smoothly, making him want to throw up. It was the sign that everything was going to go to hell.

That’s what this has to be right? A hellish nightmare that wasn’t real..

No that wasn’t right..

Did it matter?

A hand yanked his wrist out of the cage and into the blinding white room, that felt like fire surrounding him as he stepped to the operating table.

Needles and scalpels were set neatly on a silver tray. The restraints were heavy and felt like they burned his wrists and ankles. He was pushed onto the table as the ‘doctor’ slapped on gloves. More restraints were clipped over his waist and thighs.

Then something pinched his leg. He felt the blood rushing it’s way down to the cut, as a scalpel carved out a rectangle. He could hear scissors cutting something, and distant screams… were they from him?

He didn’t know at this point. More agonizing cuts on his legs along with a couple of needle pin marks.. a couple snaps of an illusion disk and a bit of writing, on both his skin and paper..

He couldn’t really feel anything after the first one, only simply knowing that his body was reacting to the pain yet his brain hadn’t quite caught up with reality.

It was like he wasn’t exactly controlling his body, just simply existing in the dream-like state. Time didn’t exist there, neither did recognition of the pain. Emotions ran wild. Turning all of his thoughts sour as he attempted to remember what happened.

It wasn’t until the doctor un-clipped him and put him back into the cage that he noticed the other.

That’s who did this to him. That’s the person that pushed him through pain.

The human wore a terrified expression as the doctor took him out for his turn.

He couldn’t help but smile at the other’s pain. The other deserved it..

Right?

(If you skipped this, Tubbo got tortured and blamed Tommy for the situation.)

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“IT’S BEEN A FUCKING MONTH! And you still haven’t found your son’s damn ship?!” The man on the other line was furious, and rightfully so.

Puffy undoubtedly understood the anger the man had. I mean she had been in the situation before when her youngest was kidnapped by another crew of pirates. The only difference in this situation was she was fighting against her son, her duckling… when did her duckling turn sour?

“You’re right about that, Phil. I can assure you Niki is doing everything in her power to track them down, along with Jack.” Jack joined the team after Puffy met Niki.

She must admit that having someone working in the ISF had its perks. Though no one could fully trust him. For good reason of course.

“Ponk is ‘talking’ to Sam, he sure as hell ain’t cracking yet.” She finished bitterly, “Like I said Quakity is waiting for his monthly letter from his fiancé, which would hopefully give us a clue at where to look.”

“I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that it’s been a month.. Wilbur said the humans barely last a full week if they aren’t treated..” The worry was lining his face and causing the bags under his eyes to look more like nasty black eyes. His face was sullen making it apparent the man hadn’t been eating properly. His wings ruffled at every noise and he seemed to be running purely on coffee. Puffy wanted nothing more than to return the man’s unofficial sons back to him.

——————

Everything was great!

The plan worked perfectly, and Sam hadn’t cracked yet.

Meaning he could easily start on the next faze. The only issue would be he’d have to gain both of the starling’s trust.

Even if the present was a bitter reality lined with things that would annoy him, the end result would be worth it.

Having a human and a nuke expert by his side would allow him to have everything he ever wanted.

Power.

Not just power, but all the things that came with it. He wouldn’t be questioned again, and everything and anything he said would be the final word.

It would be hell for those who crossed him, and even worse for those who abandoned him.

Wilbur, Sam, Ant, Quackity, Foolish, and even mother dearest, Puffy. They would all pay for their disloyalty. Once this is all over, they would never cross him again.

I mean he did give up everything to gain this life.

There was nothing to lose and everything to win, and he’d be damned if he didn’t win.

I mean he sold his soul for this!

It was all worth it.. right?

Of course it is. Stop doubting me child.

——————

28 days of torture, and now they were sitting with their captors playing house.

It was wrong. So utterly wrong.

“Eat your food Tommy.” The captain commanded.

Tommy complied not wanting to go back in the cage. Every day he woke up there, more things were shoved into him and more pain was given.

“You too Tubbo.” The command was given and the other complied, the same fear visibly shown.

“Reports.” Dream stated sternly, the rest of the crew compiled without hesitation.

It was a bunch of regular reports of how no one knew where they were, what supplies needed to be restocked, the current condition of the ship, and any developments with the news. A bunch of boring bullshit. He bit back any sarcastic remarks that threatened to spill, but refrained in fear of what they would do to him.

The crew was dismissed leaving Tubbo, Tommy, and Dream alone.

“I want both of you to listen.” Dream started his tone raising all hairs on the back of Tommy’s neck, “Phil and his crew led you to us. They didn’t comply the first time and poisoned your minds. We did the right thing, and fixed you. Now, there are some rules you have to follow. You may not wander the ship, only go anywhere with one of the crew members. You will both share a room and follow the same schedule. Anything you do that is not an order deserves a punishment, for it is proof of what the other crew poisoned you with. Now! Go to your room, it has a black door.” With that the man finished and the pair headed towards their room.

The speech sounded right, yet felt wrong. But everything was justified, therefore it was fine. Plus the worrying was just a problem for future Tommy, maybe that’s what Dream meant by the other crew poisoning him.

The other said nothing as they entered the room, only fixing Tommy with a bitter gaze which turned into something of confusion. Neither one slept, they couldn’t bring it in themselves to sleep, especially since Dream hadn’t told them to.

Instead both of them settled into a silence as they lay on their bed, only getting up when the man told them too. This was all they could really do as they faced their new reality. Slowly but surely their brains began to believe every word of the speech. Finally when the man asked to join him, a bubbly sickly joy gave them the grace to finally help their rescuer.

Six months after the initial capture, one month of torture and five months of vigorous training, consisting of fighting, weapon design, and hours of studying blueprints, they were finally able to go on their first mission with their rescuer, not questioning anything any of the crew said at this point. Sick months of training and they became living weapons ready for whatever the cruel world threw at them…

This is a dream.. right?

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Chapter 7- End

Words: 2221

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Notes:

Hahahaha I am in pain from writing this... please bare with me.. ;-;

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Dream is being a manipulative bastard... I mean the character. More specifically my take on Dream’s character in this situation... ahhhhh

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I hope you’re staying safe, don’t forget to take care of yourself!! <3 also likes are appreciated but reblogs are always better! <3

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