#he tells dad jokes all the time

[softquietsteadylove]

Ok but what about Gil making some dad jokes? 😂

In the end he makes one that even Thena finds funny but would never admit!

Choose the AU 😁

"Hey."

"Hey," Gil greeted in return. He was watched as he dropped his bag off by the door and then moved further into the cabin--his cabin. But he was used to it.

The White Wolf hadn't been cleared to return to the field, much to her seething rage about it. Too much risk of infection walking around in the open, carrying gear, chafing, sweating, exposing it to open air. She was required to remain stationary for at least two weeks.

She had gotten off the call with the medic team and nearly thrown his laptop into the fire for it.

He had kept his promise, given her the space she was used to and the privacy she wanted. She stayed in his bed while he went to work, mostly read. And then when he got home she would complain about wanting to leave. It was their little routine.

"How is it out there?"

Gil raised a brow but just nodded, "pretty normal stuff."

Thena just nodded, setting her book aside. Some days she was a little less prickly. Usually it meant she wanted something.

He looked at her, "you hungry?"

She never admitted to actually needing anything from him. He was under the impression that if he didn't ask her directly she might wither away and starve. But she was a truly terrible cook when left to her own devices.

He was still trying to determine if that was an effect of being out in the woods for a year on her own, or if it was a pre-existing condition.

She nodded.

Gil smiled a little. They were getting more used to each other, and he knew the Wolf had a sense of humour in her somewhere. He put a hand to his ear, "what was that?"

"Fuck you."

Her words had no real bite to them anymore. He chuckled, "no, wasn't that."

Thena sighed and glared at him with all the vitriol in her 5'8" frame. "A little."

"Good," he grinned at her before looping into the semi-attached kitchen nook, "I'm a medium hungry myself."

Thena rolled her eyes visibly and loudly.

Gil let the little joke suffice and moved into the kitchen. "Dry season's coming, so there's a lot of extra trimming happening."

He didn't get an answer, but he wouldn't expect one from the Wolf. That didn't mean she wasn't listening, either.

"I walked by your last post. It's still intact," he continued as he pulled stuff out of the fridge. He didn't have much to work with, but Thena wasn't particularly picky either. Little thing could eat like a real monster if she liked something. "Do you need anything?"

After learning that she would be staying with him a little longer, he had gone back to her camp and packed up everything for her and brought it back here. She had been a little averse to him packing up her personals, but she let him bring her things to her. He had to assume she arranged and packed them more to her tastes while he was at work.

"Not to be trapped in your bed like an animal?"

"Hm," Gil murmured as he slid some ground hamburger and onions in a pan, "I don't think they have that at the drop-mart."

More silence, most definitely her groaning at his jokes again.

Once he was satisfied that he had the makings for a decent sauce, he set it on low to reduce and went back out to her. He leaned against the doorway. "Cleaned?"

She eyed him. He was asking about her healing burns. "Had a shower."

That wasn't exactly cleaning them with a saline solution, but he supposed it did technically qualify as being washed out. He came a little closer, "you need help with the bandages?"

She looked up at him. Sometimes - certainly not always - he could get some of her guard down. If he spoke softly, moved slowly, something about it could calm her usual worry and help her open up to him, even a little. She shook her head.

"Okay," he accepted without much argument. Less fuss the better, with the White Wolf. "Hey, I brought some stuff for you."

She gave him her driest, deadliest look, "if it's another stupid joke I swear to god-"

"Okay, okay," he chuckled as he bent down to his backpack and pulled it open. "Went to the station, found some stuff that might help pass the time."

Thena let him bring it over, depositing some books on the night table within her reach, setting down a couple of snacks. She picked up the peanuts immediately.

Gil watched her tear into them, really giving him the unfortunate impression that she hadn't done anything to feed herself while he was gone. "Sometimes I think all you eat is trail mix."

She glared at him as she shovelled more toasted peanuts in her mouth.

"But that's," he grinned at her, "just nuts."

She flicked one at him.

He caught it after it bounced off his forehead and popped it in his mouth. She could have all the nuts she wanted, really. Anything, so long as she was eating. "Don't fill up. I'm making spaghetti."

Thena's eyes widened and she tilted her head. She liked his spaghetti.

"I brought some coffee too," he continued as he went to actually put on the noodles, seeing as how his guest was apparently starving.

"Coffee?"

Ooh, that was really catching her fancy. Gil made a note to himself to bring more, and not just the instant stuff she could technically make for herself out in the woods.

"Coffee," he confirmed as he salted the pasta water. "But I had to file a report on it."

"File a report?"

He didn't look at her. It tended to put her on edge. But she had gotten out of bed just to verify his coffee story. He reached for the pasta, "yep--usual stuff, I was making some coffee and...it got mugged."

"Gilgamesh."

Whatever, he liked his dumb jokes. He laughed, ignoring how she was glaring at him for it. He bobbed his head to the side, "get out some bowls?"

Thena didn't love being told what to do, but she seemed to far prefer it to listening to him tell jokes straight out of an outdated 'dad' manual. She did retrieve some bowls for them.

After tossing the noodles in the sauce properly he served Thena first, and with a mountain's worth of noodles and meat sauce. She would get through it, and he would have more where that came from, too.

"Thanks," she muttered quietly. She did turn and leave without waiting for him, but he was charmed when she plunked his own bowl into his hand first. It was a small gesture, but it was about as outwardly caring as Thena could get.

She sat herself in front of the fire to eat, taking up the chair of his she liked the best to do so. She had his blanket around her bony little shoulders, probably after she had taken her shower and left her hair down to dry.

She might look cute if she weren't eating spaghetti like a starving dog.

Gil smiled as he sat down in his other chair next to her. He dug in too, just at a more human pace. It was good spaghetti at least. He peeked over at her.

She licked some sauce off her lips, repeating the motion like a dog licking its chops. She caught him staring and frowned, "what?"

Gil blushed. He hadn't meant to stare, let alone in any particular way, at any particular part of her. He cleared his throat, "uhm, I was, uh, gonna tell a vegetable joke."

She glared at him, cold as ice, daring him to go through with it.

He smiled down at his bowl, "but...it's a little corny."

He needed new material.

Thena laughed. It was quick, and light, and she held up her hand to hide her mouth, but she laughed.

Gil stared at her though, positively elated. She had a cute laugh. "Hey!"

She shook her head, trying to banish the smile from her face, "don't get any ideas."

"But you laughed!" he pointed, even risking her turning around and biting his finger off. "You're laughing!"

Thena faked a dramatic sigh and poked at her food, "maybe it's Stockholm, being cooped up here with you."

"No, you laughed at my joke," he continued to state with the utmost pride. And why the hell not? He had gotten a laugh out of the White Wolf. He felt like he had tamed a bear single handed. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Thena rolled her eyes at him but she didn't get up and leave him to eat alone, like the first night or two. She took another, slower bite. "Call it payment for all your help."

She didn't have to repay him for anything. Although hearing that beautiful laugh she had really was a nice bonus.

[lumiereswig]

the chilchuck dub drives me absolutely up the wall. why is the american voice so flat and one-note when the original voice gets so much variation and softness in? noticed it especially on the last ep when he was telling marcille about the tiny lifespan and she saw The Horrors. the japanese actor is softly like: i was just joking! while the american voice is ironic: i'm only kidding. that's a huge difference!!!! one is dad chilchuck having a joke that went off the rails, the other is just stirring shit for no reason. no wonder people see chilchuck as this sardonic beer-swigging twig with dead eyes (he is that but also more)

[dandylovesturtles]

@theplacewhereidumpmyinterests I can't talk about most of them because they're part of an AU verse I want to keep secret until I have the first fic that's part of it written, and idk when that will be (by summer?? HOPEFULLY??), but I guess I can talk about the other one because idk if/when I will write a fic for him (I'd like to but like I am only human)

"more AUs Dandy?" LISTEN all I do is sit around and think about "what if"s, okay?

ok so this started as me being like, hm, we see Lou Jitsu with a rotating door of women, so many he doesn't seem to remember all their names, so it's not totally out there to think he might have gotten one of them pregnant, right?

and thus Marcus (middle name Kyle) was born! literally!

so the story for this is, Lou Jitsu had a fling with a woman in the early 90s, pre-Big Mama. they were both in agreement that the whole thing was casual and it didn't last very long, but oopsie-daisy about six weeks after their last night together she finds out she's pregnant.

she debates what to do for a bit, because, as established, Lou Jitsu is kinda a fuckboi and she doesn't really want a relationship with him. But once she decides she's definitely keeping the baby she feels like she can't just not tell him, right? so she tries!

...unfortunately he's dating Big Mama by that point and she interferes to make sure that Lou Jitsu never meets with the woman and never finds out, because she knows this would get in the way of her plans.

she takes never hearing back from LJ as a sign he just isn't interested in the kid and resolves to single-motherhood. which she is the best at, btw.

she's still considering trying to introduce Marcus to his dad at some point, but unfortunately her kid isn't even 5 before Lou Jitsu suddenly goes missing, with his teary fiancée telling a sob story to the cops. assuming, same as everyone else, that he's dead, she lets the whole thing go, though she does tell Marcus who his dad is once he's old enough to understand everything.

Marcus goes through periods of being obsessed with Lou Jitsu, watching all his movies and consuming every piece of media about him that he can find, and periods where he can't stand to even hear the name. it's up and down. from his perspective, LJ abandoned him and his mom, but he's also dead, so it's not like he can have closure on this ever, right? so it's just a thing he has to deal with on his own.

but he's fine! he's alright. he gets through high school, then college, then accepted into vet school just fine.

then... his mom gets sick and dies.

yeah, that's a hard blow.

but he's alright! he has a few buddies from college he still sees now and then, and he's started his zoo vet residency at the Bronx Zoo (with a particularly special interest in reptiles), so lots of new people to meet that way! he's doing great! he's not lonely at all!

(a few months ago, he was suddenly woken up by a surge of something, like dozens of voices were crying out to him for help, tugging him toward something, saying his family needs him...

yeah, no idea what that was about. he doesn't have any family anymore.)

then the sky opens up and aliens come out.

Marcus is at work, because of course aliens would attack at the beginning of his shift. he spends the day ushering survivors into safe zones within the zoo, using his medical knowledge to handle first aid, and just trying to stay sane as the whole world turns upside down.

and then just as suddenly as it all started... it stops.

in the aftermath, everyone around him is just trying to get home, desperately calling their loved ones and praying for the best. Marcus starts trying to figure out how he's going to get home, because the trains definitely aren't running, and as he looks as his phone for a spark of inspiration, he realizes... no one has tried to call him. his coworkers' phones have been going off all day, whenever they can get signal, as loved ones try to reach them, but... he doesn't have anyone trying to reach him. and as he sits there he realizes he doesn't know who he should be calling, either.

so. that's pretty depressing.

and as he's sitting there, thinking about his life and what led him here, in a now empty vet clinic outside the bronx zoo... he hears a noise. and then, voices.

ah great. looters.

at first, Marcus tries to call 911 - but obviously the call center is swamped. so he decides to take care of the problem himself, going to see who's there and get rid of them...

wait, who is he kidding? he's definitely not paid enough to confront potentially armed looters! he's going to get out of here.

but just as he starts to leave, he hears the voices again - coming from one of the surgery rooms this time. and they're talking about IVs... scalpels... anesthesia...

suddenly he realizes that these aren't looters - they're here to try and treat somebody.

and like hell is he going to let some idiot kill someone trying to do DIY surgery.

so he turns back around and bursts into the room... on two humans, a rat that counts as giant even for New York, and four very big, very injured turtles.

one of whom immediately points a gun in his face. to be fair, that's what he thought would happen.

"Donnie!" yells the biggest one, and, oh, they can talk. huh.

"Relax, it's just a tranquilizer!"

"Donatello!" that's the rat. there's a sound like a whip cracking and the one with the gun makes a startled noise and drops it.

now the rat is in front of him. he's looking up at Marcus imploringly. "Do you work here?" he asks.

"Y-yeah. I'm a vet."

the rat bows very politely. "my sons are seriously hurt, and I don't have the supplies to help them at home. I understand it is a lot to ask, but... we must use your supplies. please, if you could just look the other way."

Marcus looks around at the turtles, especially the one on the table, the one worst off. he looks mangled. he won't live long if he isn't properly treated.

a rat, two humans who look like teenagers, and the turtles. who the rat called "sons". now that he's noticing, they're all pretty short, other than the big one. are they also teenagers?

"...Are any of you doctors?" he asks. the littlest one starts to raise a hand, but the girl grabs it and forces it back down.

everyone else has left by now. he's the only doctor here.

alright. guess he's doing this.

"...okay, everyone make some room. let me get sterilized, and I'll see what we're working with here."

and that's how the son Lou Jitsu didn't know he had becomes primary care doctor to his teenage mutant ninja half-brothers. ^^

(and then a bunch of other stuff happens)

[itsalwaysforyou]

just remembered a wip i had which was jay at uni meeting normal people and desperately trying to act cool and normal whilst internally screaming about being in a whole new place with all new people and not having his gang with him

[thegirlsarethriving]

just finished undertale. ok i see the vision. i now understand yall's Sans-to-Benrey obsession pipeline. and the Papyrus-to-Tommy Coolatta pipeline

[blobbei-art]

Anyone else thought that must’ve just been kind of mean from Descole’s POV

[wikitpowers]

i only wanted johnny to actually be a good father and buy kit his favourite chocolate chip ice cream and take him to amusement parks and go on all the rides with him bc he's scared and read him bedtime stories in funny voices so he feels all the love he deserves that's all

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

[erisolkat]

god i hate everyone

[lefthandoverfoot]

idk vent post

cw homeschooling trauma and general emotional abuse

[toastingpencils37]

Just want to rant about Kai a bit, and how he is in Season 1.

Because I fucking hate him in Season 1. I'm sorry, but he's just such an asshole. And not a funny and lovable asshole. Just an asshole, whether it's about the green ninja shit or Nya being a girl.

And he does improve after his True Potential episode (due to character development), but prior to it (and actually during part of it) he's just unbearable to me.

And I remember that as a kid I hated him as well during Season 1.

[queer-reader-07]

do y’all have those things you do with your parents that are so routine that you forget that it’s not “normal”?

because for me it’s definitely that my dad and i email each other memes. and not in a “my dad is technologically inept” way, my dad has an engineering degree and has worked in tech for over 3 decades. no it’s more of a “he’s TOO technologically literate to not email me memes” way.

he only has facebook on his computer, so instead of figuring out how to get the memes to his phone to text them to me, he saves the images and emails them to me. and i love it but i do oftentimes forget that getting emails with shitpost memes from your father isn’t exactly normal

[volfoss]

Actually the crumbs of Armand in this book have given me the strength I'll need to finish this shit show tomorrow

[ginalinettiofficial]

ok i’m actually mad abt how little continuity dndads has rn like why are we doing memory stuff if we haven’t checked to make it consistent w what we’ve already said has happened ????

and also why are they seemingly determined to character assassinate ALL of the characters from s1???? up to and including the already dead ones?????

and ALSO what is even the plot anymore i feel like the world building has been so inconsistent and loosey-goosey and like that’s okay when it isn’t relevant to the plot but in this season where it IS relevant to the plot like. what are we doing???? who can or can’t travel between dimensions???? what are the limitations????

i’m just confused and annoyed i want it to be a fun show with a story that you can follow again but lately it’s been just a mess. still fun ofc because all five of them are just fun to listen to but like. i have not been able to make any sense of what the fuck is going on for like a solid 4 episodes now and i’m just disheartened about it. it’s gone off the rails but not in a hehehaha funny fun way.

[barkingangelbaby]

venting so much i ran out of tags lmao

[plumsodapop]

"Fire at will" ?? Lol what did Will ever do to you