#and truly no one asked for this

[softquietsteadylove]

Ok but what about Gil making some dad jokes? 😂

In the end he makes one that even Thena finds funny but would never admit!

Choose the AU 😁

"Hey."

"Hey," Gil greeted in return. He was watched as he dropped his bag off by the door and then moved further into the cabin--his cabin. But he was used to it.

The White Wolf hadn't been cleared to return to the field, much to her seething rage about it. Too much risk of infection walking around in the open, carrying gear, chafing, sweating, exposing it to open air. She was required to remain stationary for at least two weeks.

She had gotten off the call with the medic team and nearly thrown his laptop into the fire for it.

He had kept his promise, given her the space she was used to and the privacy she wanted. She stayed in his bed while he went to work, mostly read. And then when he got home she would complain about wanting to leave. It was their little routine.

"How is it out there?"

Gil raised a brow but just nodded, "pretty normal stuff."

Thena just nodded, setting her book aside. Some days she was a little less prickly. Usually it meant she wanted something.

He looked at her, "you hungry?"

She never admitted to actually needing anything from him. He was under the impression that if he didn't ask her directly she might wither away and starve. But she was a truly terrible cook when left to her own devices.

He was still trying to determine if that was an effect of being out in the woods for a year on her own, or if it was a pre-existing condition.

She nodded.

Gil smiled a little. They were getting more used to each other, and he knew the Wolf had a sense of humour in her somewhere. He put a hand to his ear, "what was that?"

"Fuck you."

Her words had no real bite to them anymore. He chuckled, "no, wasn't that."

Thena sighed and glared at him with all the vitriol in her 5'8" frame. "A little."

"Good," he grinned at her before looping into the semi-attached kitchen nook, "I'm a medium hungry myself."

Thena rolled her eyes visibly and loudly.

Gil let the little joke suffice and moved into the kitchen. "Dry season's coming, so there's a lot of extra trimming happening."

He didn't get an answer, but he wouldn't expect one from the Wolf. That didn't mean she wasn't listening, either.

"I walked by your last post. It's still intact," he continued as he pulled stuff out of the fridge. He didn't have much to work with, but Thena wasn't particularly picky either. Little thing could eat like a real monster if she liked something. "Do you need anything?"

After learning that she would be staying with him a little longer, he had gone back to her camp and packed up everything for her and brought it back here. She had been a little averse to him packing up her personals, but she let him bring her things to her. He had to assume she arranged and packed them more to her tastes while he was at work.

"Not to be trapped in your bed like an animal?"

"Hm," Gil murmured as he slid some ground hamburger and onions in a pan, "I don't think they have that at the drop-mart."

More silence, most definitely her groaning at his jokes again.

Once he was satisfied that he had the makings for a decent sauce, he set it on low to reduce and went back out to her. He leaned against the doorway. "Cleaned?"

She eyed him. He was asking about her healing burns. "Had a shower."

That wasn't exactly cleaning them with a saline solution, but he supposed it did technically qualify as being washed out. He came a little closer, "you need help with the bandages?"

She looked up at him. Sometimes - certainly not always - he could get some of her guard down. If he spoke softly, moved slowly, something about it could calm her usual worry and help her open up to him, even a little. She shook her head.

"Okay," he accepted without much argument. Less fuss the better, with the White Wolf. "Hey, I brought some stuff for you."

She gave him her driest, deadliest look, "if it's another stupid joke I swear to god-"

"Okay, okay," he chuckled as he bent down to his backpack and pulled it open. "Went to the station, found some stuff that might help pass the time."

Thena let him bring it over, depositing some books on the night table within her reach, setting down a couple of snacks. She picked up the peanuts immediately.

Gil watched her tear into them, really giving him the unfortunate impression that she hadn't done anything to feed herself while he was gone. "Sometimes I think all you eat is trail mix."

She glared at him as she shovelled more toasted peanuts in her mouth.

"But that's," he grinned at her, "just nuts."

She flicked one at him.

He caught it after it bounced off his forehead and popped it in his mouth. She could have all the nuts she wanted, really. Anything, so long as she was eating. "Don't fill up. I'm making spaghetti."

Thena's eyes widened and she tilted her head. She liked his spaghetti.

"I brought some coffee too," he continued as he went to actually put on the noodles, seeing as how his guest was apparently starving.

"Coffee?"

Ooh, that was really catching her fancy. Gil made a note to himself to bring more, and not just the instant stuff she could technically make for herself out in the woods.

"Coffee," he confirmed as he salted the pasta water. "But I had to file a report on it."

"File a report?"

He didn't look at her. It tended to put her on edge. But she had gotten out of bed just to verify his coffee story. He reached for the pasta, "yep--usual stuff, I was making some coffee and...it got mugged."

"Gilgamesh."

Whatever, he liked his dumb jokes. He laughed, ignoring how she was glaring at him for it. He bobbed his head to the side, "get out some bowls?"

Thena didn't love being told what to do, but she seemed to far prefer it to listening to him tell jokes straight out of an outdated 'dad' manual. She did retrieve some bowls for them.

After tossing the noodles in the sauce properly he served Thena first, and with a mountain's worth of noodles and meat sauce. She would get through it, and he would have more where that came from, too.

"Thanks," she muttered quietly. She did turn and leave without waiting for him, but he was charmed when she plunked his own bowl into his hand first. It was a small gesture, but it was about as outwardly caring as Thena could get.

She sat herself in front of the fire to eat, taking up the chair of his she liked the best to do so. She had his blanket around her bony little shoulders, probably after she had taken her shower and left her hair down to dry.

She might look cute if she weren't eating spaghetti like a starving dog.

Gil smiled as he sat down in his other chair next to her. He dug in too, just at a more human pace. It was good spaghetti at least. He peeked over at her.

She licked some sauce off her lips, repeating the motion like a dog licking its chops. She caught him staring and frowned, "what?"

Gil blushed. He hadn't meant to stare, let alone in any particular way, at any particular part of her. He cleared his throat, "uhm, I was, uh, gonna tell a vegetable joke."

She glared at him, cold as ice, daring him to go through with it.

He smiled down at his bowl, "but...it's a little corny."

He needed new material.

Thena laughed. It was quick, and light, and she held up her hand to hide her mouth, but she laughed.

Gil stared at her though, positively elated. She had a cute laugh. "Hey!"

She shook her head, trying to banish the smile from her face, "don't get any ideas."

"But you laughed!" he pointed, even risking her turning around and biting his finger off. "You're laughing!"

Thena faked a dramatic sigh and poked at her food, "maybe it's Stockholm, being cooped up here with you."

"No, you laughed at my joke," he continued to state with the utmost pride. And why the hell not? He had gotten a laugh out of the White Wolf. He felt like he had tamed a bear single handed. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Thena rolled her eyes at him but she didn't get up and leave him to eat alone, like the first night or two. She took another, slower bite. "Call it payment for all your help."

She didn't have to repay him for anything. Although hearing that beautiful laugh she had really was a nice bonus.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[chloesimaginationthings]

Love when Game Michael does this!

Which Michael sprite reaction is everyone feeling today?

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[daisythornes]

SO what i would've done in my epic perfect ending to the umbrella academy is:

EITHER

- ok, if we must do the downer ending where they sacrifice themselves to save the entire world and must no longer actually exist. what would've been a lot more satisfying and clever in addition to that is: the umbrella academy comics exist in the new world.

Claire is the writer/artist mastermind behind the series, because she has this strange near-memory of someone once telling her these bedtime stories about a group of dysfunctional but endearing superheroes. she assumes it must've been her imagination, but still, there's a resonating echo of love.

boom. our brellies live on and get to learn and grow and be happy in some way, even if it's in fiction.

OR

- when Five is talking to all the versions of himself in the Five Diner, he first thinks it's the whole family that's the problem with the timeline and yeah, that they'd need to die so everyone else could live, but then!

the other versions of him tell him that no, it's not the whole family that's the wrench in the gears of the universe. it never has been. it was him.

this whole time, he's been looking for answers in every direction but within. he was the only variable he hasn't considered, the last unknown.

more specifically, it was him leaving his family that broke the timeline and caused the curse of the inevitable apocalypse.

that led to the Commission, to the Kugelblitz, to the Umbrella Effect/Keepers Cult - to every possible bad ending, in every timeline Five and Lila ever saw.

so, uh... maybe after a conversation with Diego and Lila if they wanted to resolve that whole situation more.... maybe after a conversation with Viktor (Five's childhood best friend, despite the show literally always forgetting about that)...

Five gets on the timeline train one more time, then jumps back to the day he ran away. maybe he's young again but with all his memories intact, because he's figured out how to control that now, maybe he just tells his younger self not to mess with time travel or leave home.

either way, Five goes back to dinner. then he grows up with everyone.

Ben doesn't die, because Five being there helps save him somehow. Klaus gets better, Allison learns to let go, Diego and Luther reconcile, and Viktor has a best friend to tell him he's always been special, and help him sort out his powers properly.

Lila and the other Sparrows and Jennifer are still alive in this version of events, they just grew up differently, in different places and circumstances. they all find their way to the Hargreeves, because of course they do. Allison has Claire. my beloved Grace is there.

Reginald dies, and they dance at his funeral. the world doesn't end eight days from then, or any time after that.

the show ends with the gang dancing to I Think We're Alone Now, but they're in the same room this time, all together in their old house, and everything is the way they've always deserved.

[becca-e-barnes]

Ma’am, you are deviously incredible 🔥 We’re begging for an exploration of him saying “I love you” while fucking her like he doesn’t 🥹

My brain keeps picking up the storyline a few splendidly torturous hours in when her body’s completely spent & quivering & she’s a blubbering mess & that’s when he picks her up & takes his sweet time positioning her so she can limply yet eagerly watch their reflection has he finally gives her… exactly what her twitching body’s been craving. 🥵

I'm so glad you all enjoyed the thought of this as much as I did because I've been dying to expand on it 😵‍💫 (Part 1 here)

I like to imagine by that stage, he's absolutely desperate too though. He's got to feel your sweet little pussy clench and flutter around him, contracting so tight every time you cum that he swears it's going to be the end of him.

He's been too hard for too long, buried inside your body and he swears he's never felt you this wet or this hot before. It's been fucking luxurious, forcing you to cum against his fingers, feeling how your body's natural reaction is to coax him to drain his balls into you but that alone isn’t enough. He needs more than that.

He wouldn't admit it to you but he can't take any more. His balls feel like they're fizzing; overfull and beyond ready to flood your waiting, overstimulated body.

He arranges you gently, laying you on your front because he doesn't trust your trembling arms to support you. "That's it, good girl." He coos, hearing you whimper and sob pathetically because he needs to slip out of you to slide a pillow under your hips.

"You've made such a mess." He groans, taking a second to appreciate the delicious, inviting, slick little cunt he's about to indulge in. "You're dripping, sweetheart. God, I just know there's no way I'm going to be able to pull out."

His huge hands are gripping your hips and with one sharp, brutal thrust, he's back inside you and you both sob pathetically at the feeling of your bodies being joined again. This is exactly what you've needed but you don't have the words to tell him that. All you can do is whine and will your body not to cum again so soon.

"I meant. What I said earlier." He punctuates his sentence with soft groans, drawing back until he almost slips out of you before pounding back in.

He leans forward, tilting your chin up, making sure you can see the way he's fucking you in the mirror at the end of the bed.

"I love you. And I don't want you to forget that." He sounds sincere, one hand trailing up from the small of your back to right between your shoulder blades and then back down again. It feels intimate and tender but all that is forgotten by the very next thrust.

"I love you. But for now, you're just a mindless. Little. Drooling. Breedable. Cunt for me." He slows his thrusts down, determined not to cum so soon but it's going to be difficult to last until he gets the first couple of loads out of the way.

"Baby..." You whimper, feeling the tip of his cock nudge against your sweet spot, making you shake from overstimulation.

"I know sweetheart, I know. It's too much. But you're being so good for me. You're so perfect. How have no idea how you feel. So wet and warm and I can feel you fluttering around my cock. It's like you're trying to squeeze every last drop of cum out of me. Is that what you want? Because angel, I'll keep this delicious cunt stuffed full of load after load until I have nothing left to give you."

His thrusts are punishingly fast, thumping against your raised ass, half chasing his orgasm, half holding it back.

"And when I do, I'll remind you just how much I love you. And the baby I'm going to give you tonight."

With that thought, he can't stop himself from cumming, his dick twitching inside you as he shoots thick ropes of his seed right against your cervix. You're so cock-drunk you can only rut yourself millimetres back and forth but that's all you need to send yourself spiralling into another orgasm that leaves you trembling and sobbing.

"Fuck, you want that as much as I do, don't you?" He kisses the back of your neck, breathing you in while letting the euphoric rush subside. He notices he hasn't softened in the slightest despite such an intense orgasm but he knows he needs to be gentle with you for a moment before he can get any rougher.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good Morning, World.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[archer973]

One of the things I realized when I watched Fury Road directly after Furiosa:

Furiosa doesn't treat Max like she treated Jack. She treats Max like Jack treated her.

There are so many parallels - the way they meet, their conflict with each other that quickly turns to partnership, their journey to The Green Place (and how it fails)...

But where before it was Jack reaching out to her, now it's Furiosa who is asking Max his name, teaching him the kill sequence for the rig, trusting him to have her back in a fight, giving him everything he needs to leave (even when she wants him to stay).

Furiosa doesn't see Jack in Max, she sees herself. Everything from the muzzle to the nightmares to the fact that he barely speaks is a direct parallel to what she was like when she met Jack, and Furiosa knows it. And so as someone reached out to her, she reaches out to him, this feral, half-mad Wastelander. She reaches out and offers him hope, just like Jack did to her when he came back for her on the Fury Road.

And together, they find some kind of redemption

[cozymochi]

can i get a uhh 5. swimwear for Idia? only if you feel like it. thank you for your amazing art ily ❤️

this took me two dang days and it still looks bad, but i pressed on cuz YOU 🫵 have friend privileges. And even then!! I still gave up 🤡 Normally, i’d dodge “swimwear” cuz some people get weird about it and try using it to get around my set boundaries :))) But this is Idia. There’s nothing to see anyway.

the meme 2024 edition (followers only)

[chubs-deuce]

tfw cats

[blueskittlesart]

Hello hi I hope you know the "aigis earnestly asking for lesbian sex" post saga lives rent free in my mind. Internalized homophobia speedrun kotone%. Also your art is so pretty

this is fr what playing the end of aigis's route for the first time felt like. I was losing my mind the entire time

[blackhholes]

teen wolf meme: [2/4] families -> the hales

Killing doesn't run in a family. Maybe it does in mine.

[mysterycitrus]

combat skill ranking of bats etc? i feel like i know what order you'd put but i love the way you explain things

idc about powerscaling except for interesting narrative reasons…. so this will be no evidence only vibes. and yeah i really feel like my opinions won’t be a surprise at all + im not interested in arguing about it but in brief

cass — obvsly. borderline superhuman eugenics baby. i don’t think there’s any elaboration needed but what isn’t talked about so much is she can dodge bullets and outrun a speeding car so like. she’s gonna curbstomp any vanilla human

dick — i know people disagree w me on this and like. yeah bruce could be considered a stronger physical combatant but dick is also the only person who’s better than cass at something and we know he excels at crowd control. he’s an acrobatic prodigy from birth, he’s got a really good strategic mind, and he’s really fast. he doesn’t hit hard but he hits a lot. u can’t catch him if he’s flipping around all over the place then launches himself at u going 80mph

bruce (and damian) — i only rank bruce higher cause damian is a lil baby. i dislike the idea that bruce is thee physical combatant, even ignoring cass, cause frankly bc and wildcat and connor hawke and richard dragon should all be substantially better. he’s really good at ten things vs a mastery of one. anyway he’s really big and still light on his feet. he has a fun belt full of bombs. he’s super bossy

once damian’s older i think he’ll surpass bruce easily (and possibly dick too). everyone else im really so so about. i’d rank babs and tim just after bruce probably. people act like tims only ability is his intelligence when he’s also one of the best staff fighters on the planet and it’s weird. steph is down towards the bottom because a lack of formal experience compared to everyone else, but is still very powerful when she hits. duke also has less experience but an edge with his powers and training w cass. jason…. he’s deffo closer to the top but idk i subscribe to the idea that there’s always going to be some subconscious adjustment to the new body he’s stuck in. he’s taller, he’s very capable, he’s a master of weaponry. but like pretty much everyone else he doesn’t have the physical advantage that someone like cass or damian have. i do not believe he can take dick grayson in a fair fight. sorry. partially for realism but mostly for tragic robin legacy reasons, yknow?

[chloesimaginationthings]

Why is your springtrap design face blocky?

It’s easier to draw + IT’S FUN,,,

[hypewinter]

Jazz wasn't crazy. People might argue that burning her childhood home to the ground with her parents still inside would be an indicator of insanity. But how else was she supposed to react after coming back home from college to find out her parents had brutally killed her brother via vivisection?

Dying her hair blonde wasn't crazy either before anyone asked. Plenty of girls dyed their hair when they needed a change. Besides, she could never live with herself if she kept the same hair color as that vile woman.

Admittedly Jazz would have to secede moving to Gotham had been a little crazy but it was the perfect place to start fresh and blend in despite her "quirks". She had even picked out a nice new identity for herself.

Clearly Jazz was not crazy as she had managed to land a job at Arkham Asylum as a psychiatrist. If she were really insane would they have ever hired her? No they wouldn't have.

Jazz was not crazy. She was very much sane. Just like her precious Mr. J.

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x short!gn!reader (no prns)

request: i’m loving your works omgg sooo i have a request for vice captain hoshina! can you do one where soshiro and reader are holding a training session together and they’re sparring rookies and they’re both just staring at each other cause damn why’s my s/o so fine while fighting? fem reader who’s a captain or higher rank would be so cool hehealso bonus points if the rookies ask soshiro and reader to spar against each other and they do! 

warnings: rather small and short reader, i had written it with a fem reader in mind like you had mentioned but i realized there were no actual fem terms used (or prns) so i tagged it as gn! however the reader is described to be rather short with a small build, TYSM FOR THE REQ !! so sorry it took so long to get to !!!!

wc: 1300

It wasn’t like Hoshina to space out during work, but he knew this would happen the moment they assigned the two of you to help with sparring trainings together. Watching you spar, he just wasn’t able to take his eyes off of you— it was truly beyond his control, unfortunately.

“Uh, Vice-Captain,” the next one in line said, trying to get his attention. It was Iharu.

“Oh, sorry,” he said, snapping out of it finally and focusing on the officer in front of him. “Alright, whenever you're ready.”

Now, once he had started sparring, his full attention was on his opponent. He would never spar with anyone distracted if they wished for it to be serious— not even a kid. He'd move quickly and swiftly, precisely hitting Iharu wherever he showed any openings. When Hoshina sparred, it was usually over before the opponent knew it. Iharu would be on the ground and Hoshina would have his arm by his neck to show what would've happened if he had a sword. It was beautiful, to say the least.

Iharu’s eyes were wide in shock— he knew Hoshina was strong, but he thought he'd be able to do a little more.

“Iharu, you need to calm down a little more,” he said.

“I know, I need to think a few steps further and I just—,” he started to explain.

“No, I can tell you're trying to think ahead. However, you're stressing out over that way too much. I’m sure you're trying not to move only by instinct, which is definitely a good idea, but sometimes I think you can trust your gut a little. Calm down, I'll guide you a little more next round,” he said.

“Thank you,” Iharu said, grateful of the feedback and quickly moved to the back of the line again.

Now, his eyes were on you again. They always were. You were going against Aoi, and it was truly a sight to see. You weren't all that tall, rather short if anything compared to all these tall men, and definitely far shorter than Aoi, but that wasn't going to hold you back. Not one bit.

The way you'd move swiftly but confidently always made him beam. It wasn't like you were doing anything flashy, or insane, it was just every move you did had a purpose. With absolutely no unnecessary movements, your every move was precise.

It was rather obvious that Aoi had subconsciously let his guard down from the difference in your builds, even if he didn't mean to at all. Though that only lasted a few seconds. Immediately, he knew you were leagues above him. You'd observe so carefully— predicting his next move, watching for cues, reacting on time. There was so much thinking you did while you sparred, but it worked so well for you, and when you succeeded in such a method, it truly looked like magic from afar. Quick and precise dodges, a jab in the slightest opening, a swift hit where it was least unexpected (or rather, seemed impossible for do).

And Hoshina loved watching you spar. Because you looked so thrilled doing so. You seemed to be having just as much fun as he was excited to watch you fight. Of course, he loved the pure skill in your craft that you had acquired through loads and loads of effort, but he loved how you looked so excited sparring someone new. How you jumped around in seemingly glee and not just the calculated steps you made. 

You were so attractive when you sparred, he was afraid all these new officers would fall for you after this.

Your sparring with Aoi was over soon enough, and he finally realized how long he was spaced out for.

“Sorry, I'll get it together,” he said to the next officer in line, but they were all looking at your match too. Just watching.

Perhaps it was mesmerising to see someone with a smaller build show absolutely no disadvantages you faced, even if there probably were many. Or rather, inspiring, might be the word.

“It feels like I watched a magic show on one end,” Reno said to Hoshina. He was next.

“Doesn’t it?” Hoshina replied, rather smug, which perplexed Reno.

“Entranced by me, over there?” you teased from the lack of, well, sparring happening in Hoshina’s line.

“Bullseye, I fear,” Hoshina replied, to which you blushed a little. He wasn't one to reply so genuinely with so many people around.

“Oh, shut up, get to work,” you said, immediately feeling slightly flustered. “Next!”

“Is that how you talk to your Vice-Captain, Platoon Leader (L/n)?” he asked and you jutted your lips out in frustration. So now you were Platoon Leader (L/n).

“Apologies, Vice-captain,” you said.

“Hmm… what should I make you do,” he pondered out loud. You didn't think he'd actually make you do something. “You should spar with me.”

You blinked. “You could just ask normally, you know?”

“Shut up, you're no fun,” he said.

“Alright, I'll spar you later,” you said.

“Woo-hoo!” he said and that made you laugh. You were feeling rather ‘woo-hoo!’ about sparring him too. It's been a while since you had done so.

He was actually far more excited than he'd like to admit. If there was one thing he enjoyed more than watching you spar, it definitely had to be sparring against you. As soon as the training was complete and everyone had the advice they needed, it was finally time for you.

“Would it be okay if I watched?” Reno asked, and you grinned.

“Absolutely,” you said. “Make sure you go spread around that I absolutely beat his ass later.”

“Beat who now?” Hoshina asked, but you just smiled.

After all this time working and sparring with him, you had only actually beat him once. Perhaps today would be your second.

“Whenever you're ready,” he said and you sneered. You got the first move. You stayed low, keeping yourself small. Hoshina specialized in going against smaller kaiju, but they were all still larger than him. Even when he sparred, he wasn't the tallest nor the largest, so it wasn't often he sparred with someone smaller than him.

After a few seconds you jumped right back. You remembered to breathe. Hoshina was a horrible opponent for you because you centered your moves on openings you could observe, but Hoshina hardly had any openings to begin with, and the ones he did have were far too fast to deal with. You'd have to focus more than ever. You took another deep breath again.

“Okay, I'll go ahead then,” he said. You had to force yourself to relax. It was just human instinct to stiffen at the sight of him coming at you. Relax, but stay focused.

He knew you'd stay low so he kept his body rather low too, but everything was terrifyingly fast. However, as time went on you found yourself focusing better and finally you managed to land a hit on him. You both took a step back, catching the breath you didn't realize you had lost.

Again, without a word, the two of you started to spar again. This went on and on until finally your knees hit the floor and you didn't seem to have the strength to stand.

“Ugh,” you said, frustrated. You flopped onto the floor and lied down, the exhaustion immediately catching up to you.

There were still a few around who had stayed to watch, but it was as if he didn't remember. Or didn't care.

“Love,” he said, crouching down by your side to face you. His eyes were wide and he had a smile he couldn't hide. He looked absolutely in love with you, to which you had to blush at. “Wanna go again?”

You laughed. You could hardly even stand.

“Absolutely.”