#he wants me to. i write poems about him and paint him. we go on star gazing dates but all i look at is his eyes. i g

[catboyrightsdefender]

thats my boyfriend actually

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[leovaldezluvr]

"my honeybee, come and get this pollen!"

synopsis : hc's of leo valdez and his gf !!

pairing : leo valdez x daughter of apollo!reader

warnings : swearing / cursing, intentional lower case writing, kissing, nothing crazy tho!

requested ? yes! by the amazing @sunnitheapollokid 😚

masterlist : coming soon!

nai yapps : HI BABIES 🤭 first time writing hcs, hope ya like!! it turned out longer than expected so yeah haha, not proofread so please don't mind the grammatical errors 😭

on the radio . . . "espresso" by sabrina carpenter

in my opinion, leo is kinda insecure (just like percy) so it took him a while to realize that you liked him back !!

in the meanwhile, he would fangirl about you to his friends

oh and trust me, they were SICK AND TIRED of that boy

"guys, did you see the way she looked at me at dinner??"

(which he told them like for the 1293858th time that week)

#delusionalking

and don't act like you didn't do the same thing as well, because we all know damn well you did

yapping about leo to annabeth, silena and piper at the cabin 10 sleepovers is a weekly (almost daily) occurrence

like i've mentioned in the beginning, leo's probably really insecure, so he uses his flirty and cheeky personality to cover it up!

which has you giggling and kicking your feet

because that boy flirts with you more than anyone else

oh and when he found out that you work at the infirmary with will solace?

it was his most visited place other than bunker 9

leo is naturally a really clumy person (me too lmao) so he injures himself on accident quite often when working on something in bunker 9, but one way or another he'll find an excuse to come visit you there (even if he's not hurt) and say shit like

"you come here often?" or "can you kiss it better?"

with a shit-eating grin as you heal one of his injuries

since you're a child of the music god, you have AMAZING taste in music

so every once in a while you'd come over at bunker 9 and play some of your music while leo works on his projects

you'd be on his bed, painting away or even working on poems

speaking of poems!

you once wrote a poem about leo and after building up courage (with the help of your girlfriends) you read it out to leo!!

and let me tell you, that boy turned as red as a tomato

and he couldn't stop thinking about that poem FOR DAYS.

like girl you had that boy wrapped around your finger 😭 (hence the song i choose for this blog)

after that, he decided it's time to ask you to be his gf!! (screaming)

him and his friends (percy, jason and frank) have been planning and scheming on the best way leo can ask you out

since percy has a big mouth, he told the news to his girlfriend, annabeth.

your and leo's friends were pretty much one big friend group, so you guys hung out quite often

soon enough, piper and silena found out about leo's plan too

SOO HERE'S HOW I IMAGINE HOW'D LEO WOULD ASK YOU TO BE HIS GF!!

basically, the group decided to hang out at the beach is Montauk

"LAST ONE IN THE SEA IS A ROTTEN EGG!"

percy yelled, all the boys racing to the sea, except for leo.

"boys." annabeth muttered, rolling her eyes, causing piper, silena and you to giggle.

you had your beach towel spread out onto the sand, your tote bag to your left and a book in your hands.

leo sat at your right hand side, applying sunscreen onto his arms and upper body as he watched the boys splash and attempt to drown each other.

"could you please apply sunscreen on my back, y/n?"

you look up from your book you're reading and place your bookmark between the pages. a smile grew on your face as you nod, signaling leo to turn so his back faces you. he obliged and did as you said, he pulled his knees closer to his chest leaned his head onto his arms. (kinda like this I'm bad at explaining haha 😭)

hours pass by, the group has all been at the sea having a splash fight, then also played volleyball. now they wanted to have some snacks and drinks

and of course the group decided to pick you and leo to go get the snacks

you, oblivious to their intentions, started putting your flip flops on. as you weren't looking, leo shot a look at the smirking teenagers he calls his friends. piper and frank were showing thumbs up for support. while jason and percy gave him a knowing look. leo saw annabeth mouthing "now or never" to him.

"lee, you ready to go?"

he put his attention back on to you and nodded, heading to the corner shop with you next to him. he glanced back to his friends one last time, seeing them look at the pair walking off and cheering for leo, but silently of course, so you wouldn't suspect anything.

after you two have bought the snacks and drinks the friendgroup wanted, you head back to the beach.

leo noticed the group playing volleyball again, and used to opportunity to confess now. He stopped walking, standing at this area.

"hey, y/n. could we talk for a sec?"

you didn't think much of it and nodded, walking closer to where leo was standing.

then, his nervousness got the best of him and that boy just started rambling.

"so i just wanted to say that Iive liked you for REALLY long time. like a i like you A LOT and I really want to be together with you but i'm not sure if you feel the same and i really don't want to ruin this friendship. but i've never felt this way about anyone and–"

then he got interrupted with kiss!! (by you of course)

he froze, definitely not expecting that. but quickly kissed you back. his hands on your waist, pulling you closer as your hands wrapped behind his neck.

you soon pulled away, both of you catching your breaths.

"i like you too, leo."

a bright smile appeared on leo's face, him leaning his forehead onto yours.

"can i be your boyfriend, y/n?"

you act like you're thinking about, rubbing your chin jokingly, but ultimately day yes.

he kisses you again, but pulled away quickly as you two heard screaming and cheering from the back.

the pair turn around to see their friendgroup being the cause of this loud noise.

piper, annabeth and silena were the ones screaming, holding each other's hands as they jump up and down like little girls. While the boys were cheering and clapping, Percy even started jumping up and down with the girls. (LMFOAOA DON'T TELL ME HE WOULDN'T DO THAT)

anyhow! that's how i imagine it'd happen

leo and you are both you clingy mfs, even before dating. but now you two are glued to the hip.

he definitely calls you cute nicknames in spanish (#latinoking)

"mi amor" , "cariño" , "mi vida" , "hermosa" , "mi corazón" , "mi sol", "mami/mamas"

he loves, and i mean LOVES when you help him with his projects (cough this fic cough)

whenever a piece of your jewelry (earrings, necklaces, ect..) breaks, you already know your boyfriend is there to fix it for you.

despite being the daughter of the sun god, your hands were always FREEZING. that's why you had your fire boy to warm you up

that boy is basically your human heater. while you two would cuddle in the summer, you would get so hot while being in his embrace, but you just suffered, because his grip is strong as steel.

your guys' dynamic is sunshine x sunshine protecter!! (the protecter being you because leo doesn't do shit to stand up for himself)

#1 princess treatment giver!!

"baby, i can get out of the car myself–"

"shh, don't worry about it mami."

wow this is getting way too long woopsie

in conclusion, leo valdez is the best boyfriend ever and you two are the power couple of chb!!!

THE END!!

— 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐍𝐀𝐈.

taglist (pls tell me if I should remove / add you!!) : @thesnshinee @graceslcver @gentlehue @ssparksflyy @coolestgirlintheworld112 @ghostlyloversworld @percyslcver @lovely-calypso @woodlandwrites @brainsofseaweed @mershellscape @hopelesslyromanticshark @canonfeminine

[hitomisuzuya]

Scaramouche x fem!reader. Aftercare. Fluff. Not smut but tagged as such for a few sentences here and there. Soft Scara

@notyashiro128 requested some Scaramouche aftercare from me via my inbox awhile ago. Bear with me, everyone. I am running on about 3 hours of sleep while I write this. I think quite a few of you guys wanted me to write something like this.

Scaramouche is quite unforgiving in bed. He really lays into you. He is a very aggressively passionate man. And the results would very often show themselves on your body.

However, don't think there weren't those nights where sex with him was soft. You always got such a unique balance between rough sex and soft sex with him.

His aftercare is surprisingly quite tender. This man will go to the moon and back taking care of you.

He will offer to run you a warm bath with salts, soothing oils, and scented bubbles. He was a fan of lavender. Plus, the scent would help you sleep. It why he primarily liked to use it. (Shhh, sometimes it helps him sleep to.)

He would get in the tub with you, put his arms around you from behind and hold you against his chest. He would rub the soothing compounds in the essential oils the heat of the bath water released into your sore muscles.

His kisses would be soft, and doting, his tongue soothing against any inflamed skin from his bite marks. More often than not, it would led to soft, equally as passionate sex. You would be trembling almost breathless in his lap.

Scaramouche is something of a king of massages. I mean, look at his beautiful, gorgeous hands and those drool worthy fingers. You would be on your stomach, pillows propped around you carefully positioned by him. His fingers would knead into your sore muscles. You would melt like butter, sighing in relief as he tended to your sore muscles. Let's just say you would be drooling, practically asleep when he was finished. He was very thorough with his massages.

If you wanted something to eat or drink, he got it for you. It didn't matter what it was, even if he had to go out to get it. And he always came back with some kind of treat, like chocolate. He always grumbled about that, though.

One of his favorite things to do while he waited for you to fall asleep (he always made sure you fell asleep first<3) was to run his fingers tenderly over the bruises and bite marks he'd made. You are a beautiful canvas to be decorated by paints of passion by him.

This man is and always be a cuddler. A clingy little octopus in fact. Prefers to generally be the big spoon. It makes him feel like he is protecting you while you were in a vulnerable state position like sleep. Basically, Fort Knox level protection.

If you wanted to talk, Scaramouche would talk about anything, even if he said he thought the topic was stupid. Please talk to this boy, he loves the sound of your voice. He will indulge you on any topic, even if it was something simple as you seeing a cat today.

He had a feeling he was going to hear the words, "Hunny, can we?" followed by the words cat and keep him soon. And he would relent because you called him Hunny.

Count on Scaramouche stroking your hair if you are resting your head against his chest. It may look like an absentminded gesture while you talked, but it was something enjoyed doing. He loved to hear the soft, content sigh from you as you curled into him more.

Essentially, you are the center of this man's world. He is rude, arrogant, egotistical, self centered, obnoxious. An experience to deal with. And Scaramouche knows this. But damn it, he loves you. And he more than shows it.

His aftercare is further extended into the next morning. If he had to get out of bed before you, and leave your side before you woke up (which he HATED probably more than sweet things), he would leave a little note next to you. Usually, it was a song lyric or maybe a line from a poem that reminded him of you.

You kept every one of them.

Before you fall asleep, you are guaranteed hear him say, "I love you," as he kissed the top of your head.

[yanderestarangel]

Hello! Could you write something about the Lin Kuei Trio, please? Where do the three like the reader and know that one and the other also like it?

​​​​​​𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐊1 | 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐊𝐔𝐄𝐈 | 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

TW: rivalry, afab reader, smut in the final cut, foursome, blowjob, v!sex, anal!sex.

The first one to like you was Tomas, at first it was platonic, with him just wanting to be your friend because he thought you were an extremely nice person to him and everyone around him, but soon this innocent feeling turned into a need and need to have you. in a much more carnal and intimate way, like a couple.

Then Tomas asks for help from Kuai Liang, who is curious to meet you, soon going with his younger brother to find you, also falling in love with you, so a competition soon begins between the two, it wasn't a bad rivalry, Kuai Liang tells you I wanted you as much as Tomas also wanted you, but they would both be happy if one of them managed to stay with you at the end of the day, until Bi Han came in.

Bi Han found out about the brothers' competition, so he decided to get to know you too, at first he just wanted to be with you to annoy Tomas, but he really starts to like you as time goes by, your smile, your voice, your face then the competition really starts to get serious. Bi Han would love/hate the competition for your love, he would spoil you with expensive gifts bought by him - necklaces, rings all in pure gold and diamonds - or even some technological trinket that he ordered Sektor to make.

Kuai Liang, on the other hand, would spoil you with gestures of care and service, helping you clean your house, walking with you or offering to carry you in his arms or on his back, so you wouldn't get tired walking. He helped you rest by massaging your back, feet and legs - It was Kuai Liang's excuse to smell you and kiss your thighs from time to time, if you allowed him of course, artisanal oils made by himself, his favorite was of roses and almonds, it made your skin tempting and beautiful for him.

Tomas is more shy, but he writes you little letters, usually poems about how beautiful you were and how you brightened up his day, like warm rays of sunlight on a cloudy day, some were just letters about his subtle feelings.

"We painted and read together, or I listened, as in a dream, to his delirious improvisations of his soul aching for life. Your beauty blessed by the immortal gods, perhaps I loved your eyes more than my own, perhaps I vibrated with every timbre of your voice and movement.

Your grace is like a dance of swans on a crystal clear lake in the pure gardens of paradise itself.

The angels came to envy our nights together, wondering about the essence of our dawn, the touch of your lips on my skin, on my face, chaste as the purity of the finest silk, such a feeling was deprived of me in my distant childhood.

I wasn't, as a child, like others, and I never saw how others saw, but your company makes me see the gift of your beauty, only you, (Y/N) my divine blessing of select destiny."

Tomas wrote on the parchment, while looking at your reaction, he did the best he could with each letter, poetry and poem he wrote to you, accompanied by small flowers, picked by himself, along with small expensive perfumes that he managed to buy with the reserve of money he had, he would smile sweetly and ask you if you thought it was good enough, he really needed your approval and love.

The competition got worse when the three brothers realized that you had a favorite, Bi Han would get more pissed off with Tomas and Kuai, even ending up in serious fights - Kuai fights with Bi Han or Bi Han with Tomas, to the point where they left seriously bleeding -

So you would have to choose soon.

If you chose Bi Han, Tomas and Kuai Liang would be sad but would respect your decision, sad looks would be given to you as you spent time with Bi Han but would respect your decision.

If you chose Tomas, Kuai Liang would be sad but happy for his younger brother, even if he is still in love with you. On the other hand, Bi Han would freak out, his anger towards Tomas would increase with daily fights over you.

If you chose Kuai Liang, Tomas would also be happy for his brother, even if he cried every night because his heart ached with love and Bi Han would just ignore you two - you would also be banned from being in their house, to avoid the Tomas and Bi Han's suffering -

♡ Or you can resolve this all in foursome sex ♡

As Bi Han lifted you effortlessly and positioned you on top of him, his hard length pressed against your wet entrance, a low growl escaped his lips. His hands firmly grasped your waist, holding you in place as he began to rock his hips, the friction between your slick folds and his hardened cock sending shivers of pleasure through your body.

Tomas wasted no time, his fingers trailing down your spine before coming to rest on your ass. With a purposeful grip, he guided your hips, pressing you down onto Bi Han's length. His touch was both commanding and gentle, his intentions clear as he guided you to find a rhythm that pleased all three of you. Meanwhile, Kuai Liang watched with darkened eyes, his own arousal evident as he remained in the hot spring. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, a mix of desire and frustration clouding his expression. You could almost feel his gaze burning into your exposed body, his fascination apparent as he bit down on his lip, struggling to hold himself back.

As grand master lifted you effortlessly and positioned you on top of him, his hard length pressed against your wet entrance, a low growl escaped his lips. His hands firmly grasped your waist, holding you in place as he began to rock his hips, the friction between your slick folds and his hardened cock sending shivers of pleasure through your body.

His hands instinctively found their way to your hair, his fingers tangling in the strands as he hissed in pleasure. The taste of him filled your mouth, the smooth glide of your tongue eliciting moans from his lips. His hips moved in tandem with your oral motions, seeking a deeper connection with your mouth. As Bi Han thrust into your wetness with force, his length stretching you to your limits, an intense mixture of pleasure and pain coursed through your body. The feeling of his dick plunging deep inside you, filling you completely, elicited a moan of pure satisfaction from your lips.

Tomas wasted no time, his fingers trailing down your spine before coming to rest on your ass, not one to be left out, took advantage of your exposed rear entrance. With slow and deliberate movements, he eased his girth into your tight opening, the sensation causing you to gasp in pleasure.

The dual penetration overwhelmed your senses, the mix of pleasure and tightness sending waves of ecstasy through your body. Bi Han's grip on your waist tightened, and with each forceful thrust. The intensity built, the rhythm of his thrusts matching the pace of Tomas behind you.

Lust surrounded you, pulling you deeper into a vortex of sensations that threatened to consume your every thought. Bi Han's thrusts grew more forceful, his voice dripped with taunting satisfaction as he spoke, amplifying your state of lust. "-That's right, my dear. You're just a vessel for our pleasure, a cum deposit for us to fuck." -He growled, his words spurring you on even further.

Tomas, his hunger for pleasure unabated, continued his steady rhythm within the tight confines of your ass. Each movement sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, pushing you closer to the precipice of ecstasy. He leaned forward, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered breathlessly "-You want our cum, don't you? You want to be filled and marked as ours."

Kuai Liang pushed you further onto his cock, as you felt his balls hit your chin, he moaned loudly as he smiled roguishly seeing you a mess, lost in the unbearable vortex of heat and pleasure. "-(Y/N) can't even speak, like a stupid whore with my dick in his/her/they mouth, you really are little cocksucker, with three dicks in your little holes uh?"

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[volturiprincess]

To love You in an Old Way

Jasper Hale x human mate reader

Summary: Reader is a fan of old school love Warnings: None, just pure fluff A/N: This one-shot was inspired by this song I been listening on repeat lately, its called "Amarte a la Antigua" or "To Love You in an Old Way" by Eslabon Armado. I added lyrics from the song onto this (Spanish is my first language so translating was easy) From just that song theres another song I listen from this group and another one shot idea came to idea. There will be another A/N in the end. Enjoy :)

(You can never forget your first love for a Vampire)

“Today we no longer write letters to fall in love

Today the flowers are no longer seen”

I have never been serenaded by gifts or even experienced all those old school love gestures. I always said I had no interest in being serenaded but secretly I wished that everything you see in the movies could happen to me. The endless romance books I have drowned myself in so that I could try to picture myself in those romantic scenes leaves me with an unsaid desire. But it is an unrequired thing, guys at school just don't work like that anymore 

“Where has that romance gone?

There are no longer poems to conquer each other

Now only emails are sent”

That is until a certain cowboy came into my life, Jasper Hale. I always admired him from a distance and didn't really approach him in any way until he awkwardly but oh so adorable came up to me one day and said “Hello y/n would you like to go out with me to a bookstore in Port Angeles”. The way he had a hint of anxiety in his eyes and how he flexed his arms behind his back left me curious as to why he was so nervous to talk to me. From that moment 2 years ago today, we have been together ever since, and yes I do know about him and his family being vampires and his past even. There are days where he has to be away from me to control his thirst but I never feel disappointed or hurt. I do always praise him for how far he has come to being able to be around me without the feeling of wanting to drain my blood in a second. 

But the thing I absolutely love about Jasper is he is an old school lover, makes sense since he is old but he does everything you would see in the movies. At first it started with just short poem phrases left inside my locker or in the books I would read, 

“Loving you the old way, stealing your smiles

Hold your hand, open the door for you, write you poems

love like before”

And from that he started to write full on poems, one of them being called “To love you in old way”, which just hits my heart in every way. He then started to give me little gifts, nothing fancy yet unless you count chocolates but he would give me little drawings he's done throughout the day or once he gave me a bracelet he made that had a small heart and rose charm. I still wear that bracelet to this day. 

“Fill you with roses, sing you songs, paint you caresses”

When he writes me poems, he leaves them in my bedroom with a bouquet of my favorite flowers each time. The way he loves me is something I never knew could exist, he's so suave with his southern charm  and the way he can sit for hours listening to me talk just makes my heart swell. Many would assume just because he's the reserve type he lacks being a romantic type, but when me and him are alone he says some of the most dazzling and mesmerizing things that can put any poet to shame

Like just a minute ago he said this line 

“In you, I have found the love that fills my soul”

And with his Texan accent, it made it more personal.

“Was that an Edgar Allan Poe quote?”

“It was, I figured you would like it for the reason being you love his works”

“Oh you know me so well cowboy”

He smirked slightly and pulled me into his embrace so my back was against his chest while he was leaning against a tree. 

“I like how you learned quotes from his works to woe me, even if he focuses more on the dark and terror of life”

“Well one thing I have grown to know about you is books are a key to your heart”

“Yes true, and food, don't forget food”

The way he laughs makes me melt into him more, his laugh is quiet like the sounds of small bells ringing, so angelic yet at the same time so bewitching.

“I could never forget that about you darlin”

I thought about our first date, I was internally panicking and was overthinking constantly of what to say to him, I was debating to just be myself or my quiet self. What made me loosen up with him was he gave me this aura of calm, at the time I didn't understand how but with that feeling I relaxed and was able to finally be myself. Since our first date was at a bookstore, he held all the books I wanted and he didn't protest or anything, actually he would recommend books or I would catch him sneaking books into my growing pile. After that date, we just knew we fit like a puzzle, it was then confirmed later that Jasper and I are mates which confused me since I am human. 

We would spend hours either in his room or mine reading and then talking about it afterwards. He really is my missing piece to my soul. My parents even approved of Jasper and would be happy to have him over or even letting him stay the night or vice versa. They knew Jasper was the perfect gentleman and wouldn't do anything to hurt me, which is true in every way, even if he does have his days where he struggles with his thirst control.

“Penny for thoughts?”

At hearing his voice through my mist of memories I answered “I was just thinking about our first date”

“What about it?”

“Just thinking how we fit like two puzzle pieces”

He kissed the top of my head and mumbled quietly

“You have no idea how true that is”

I grabbed his hand and traced his visible veins. I would often do that to make him relax more and in a way it comforted me. As for him I noticed he would bury his face into my hair, he says my hair smells like flowers and I could feel him melt everytime he did that. 

“Can I ask you something”

His sudden voice in our quiet bliss startled me

“Yea? What's up?”

“Well I have a supplication for you”

I raised an eyebrow at that word but pulled away from him so I could face him.

“Supplication? You never fail to amuse me with your formal words but continue with your supplication”

His radiantly affectionate smirk spread onto his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled a small box out, seeing that box my eyes widened slightly, is it what i think it is? With opening the box I can already see the twinkling diamond shining through 

“Darlin’ the moment I meet you I felt I could finally breathe again, I felt somewhat human once again and my dark past did not cloud my mind as much, I don't know what I would do if I were to ever lose you or let you do, that might sound selfish but damn dang it I love you doll, Will you do me the honor and marry me?”

My tears were already building up when he barely said his first words. The man of my dreams is asking for my hand in marriage and the way the sunlight was hitting him made him look so surreal, it felt like we were in a dream at that moment.

“YES Jas, YES!!”

His smile widened and he placed the ring on my finger in an instant and pulled me into a deep kiss. This kiss didn't feel like any other kiss we had in the past, it felt like all our past deception vanished and it was just me and him in this whole world. And to think this all started with me craving for that old antique love gestures. 

“Love you the old way, love you like before”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I love Jasper, as I said in one of my past post, he was my first Vampire love until well I discovered Felix but I still love him never less. I have another idea for a one shot with another song but this time it will be about Caius, hence to why I have one of his quotes in my bio.

[malewifeharem]

CELEB JING YUAN?? ☁️

celebrity!AU jingyuan

彡- ,, a collection of my brainrots about dating jing yuan as diff types of celebs!

cw ⁞ none unless ur allergic to rich hot general fluff. not proofread.

an ⁞ this may be a little ooc, i apologise ehe. I TRIED PLEASE I PROMISE RGRGGRHRGHGRHG

imagine ceo!jingyuan picking you up from work at your office, patiently waiting for you in his car. he doesn't understand why you want to continue working when he's already mentioned countless times how he could provide for you. you'd never have to work a day in your life again! (lets pretend we're hardworking in this) he gets out of the car to greet you with a smirk before opening the car door for you.

"get in, princess."

you smile at him and thank him for sending you home again — this has become a habit of his, though he sees it more as his duty. you quickly arrive at his residence and were about to bid him goodbye when he suddenly stopped you — his hand gripping your wrist, reluctant to let go. you ask him what's wrong and he just has the saddest pout on his face, looking like a dejected, kicked puppy. (lion?)

"why won't you let me spoil you... i know how much you hate your boss, if you resign, you'll never have to deal with him again. i'll pay for whatever you'll ever want and need, darling," he murmurs sleepily, pulling you closer to him so he can rest his head on your chest. how are you supposed to say no to him like this?! you don't notice his smug smirk as he hears your heartbeat fasten rapidly — he already knows you'll give in to him this time. (sly mf)

imagine artist!jingyuan who sits in his studio everyday, painting his beloved lover onto countless numbers of canvases — his work forever preserved. they all lay untouched, scattered on the floor. he's displeased. you'd visit his studio occasionally and always find him grumbling and utterly frustrated with himself. usually, when he's hit with a creativity block like this, it passes within a couple of days but he's been in this state of discontent for weeks at this point.

"i've been painting for ages now but nothing is appealing," he groans.

you turn to look at the multiple canvases strewn all across the floor and you beg to differ but ultimately decided to stay quiet — you won't be able to understand an artist's grievances anyway. you comfort him to the best of your abilities and you can tell that he appreciates it a lot — the weight of his eyebags lifting slightly. you return to the studio a few days later to see it in a completely different state of mess, the canvases from before are now replaced by sludges of clay.

"oh, you're back. ah, so you've seen the ceramic statues. it's you, my love. it seems your beauty is so breathtaking that it must simply be portrayed in multiple forms of art."

imagine world renowned author!jingyuan who sits in his garden everyday, inscribing his poems on scrolls — the work forever preserved. he hums in satisfaction as he rolls up the piece of parchment, slotting it into a case before sending it off to you via his personal cycrane. you're already reading his first draft within a few hours and pointing out any mistakes he's made so carelessly — making sure to add sarcastic comments by the side to add salt to the wound. after a few days of corrections, the work is ready to be sold to the collectors — the two of you meeting up to thank them for the smooth transaction.

"must you be so cruel every time you mark my work, my love?"

"it's because you're so sloppy with your work, 'yuan. aren't you a famous author? hm?"

"sorry, i work best with a reward-based system. maybe you should give me a kiss for every grammatically correct sentence."

"if that's what will solve your problem then fine."

"don't act so cold, we both know you'd like that."

you notice that his writings have become longer and you haven't been able to spot any mistakes either. (rip your sore lips)

[cryinginsanity]

It’s beautiful isn’t it?

Benedict Bridgeton x Fem!Reader

——————————

Use of y/n & y/n/n | she/her | not rly proofread

The 3 times Ben wanted to kiss her and the 1 time he did

One

Ben did not shy away from women. Specifically divulging in women. But something about y/n was unique. From the first day they met.

“Ben brother! Meet Lady Y/n Y/l/n. She likes art too and she’s an excellent writer maybe even better then whistledown” Eloise boasted about the girl she had only met a week prior. Y/n smiled at him. “ she exaggerates writing is just a pastime of mine, I like to think I’m a much better artist, El told me you like to paint as well? “ Ben realized he hadn’t spoke yet when the girls were still staring at him. “Oh yes I do enjoy painting, I’ll have to show you sometime?” “I would rather enjoy that, Mr. Bridgeton” “oh please call me Ben, may I mark your Dance card? I’d like to catch you on the dance floor before the night is over“ this took Eloise by surprise, Ben never dances with anyone. Y/n just lifted her card allowing him to write his name in all caps “I’ll see you later *Ben”* y/n spoke waving as she was pulled away by her friend. Ben wanted to follow her and pull her away, but something in him told him he couldn’t. That she was special, not just a girl for him to ruin for the ton.

Two

El seemed preoccupied with lady Whistledown, seemingly always off somewhere. So when y/n showed up at the door of the Bridgertons dressed in a beautiful sage green gown with a book of poems Benedict opened the door. “Oh! Hello Ben is Ellie here?” She asked him, a little taken aback. His hair was distracting as was his face. He was painly beautiful. “Lady y/n, come in!” “Oh please enough with the formalities call me y/n or y/n/n” “y/n/n” Ben mumbled to himself. If anyone were to ask Ben what possessed him to invite her in knowing his sister wasn’t home he’d say “she looked to beautiful to send home disappointed and alone”. “She upstairs?” Y/n figured “what? Oh no Eloise just left I think, actually I’m not sure but she isn’t here. I’m here alone” “oh” “yes. I’m not entirely sure why I told you to come in Y/n/n” he tested the waters on the new name. Silence followed, she wasn’t really sure what to say. “Uh well I guess I do, I thought maybe we could spend some time together. You know. As friends.” She chuckled a little “ if you wanted to hang out with me Ben all you had to do was ask” “so you will?” His voice going up an octave not hiding his excitement. “I will” she nodded. He grabbed her hand leading her to the garden where he had his easel and a blank canvas. “I know you like to paint as well, would you care to join me? Or you can read your book to me whilst I paint” she smiled at him, her e/c eyes looking longingly at his face as if to study him. “Do you really wanna hear me read a silly poem book” “I think I’d be content if you were speaking nothing but nonsense if it meant I could hear you speak forever y/n/n” she looked away at that, butterflies forming in her stomach and heat rising to her cheeks. “Okay Benedict” she sat on a bench conveniently next to him and began to read. Ben looked down at her, thinking about how domestic this was. He imagined he could do this everyday for the rest of his life.

Three

After their spontaneous time together, they began spending a lot more time together Intentionally. “When are you going to show me your paintings?” She looked up from her book her head in his lap. He looked down at her “hmm is that a line in the book” sitting up closing the book placing it on Ben’s lap. “I’m serious Ben. They’re apart of you, you’re always painting. A lot of times when we’re together. I want to know you” “you do y/n/n” y/n huffed “I want to see the world through the eyes of Benedict bridgerton, your art allows that. I want to know your soul, your art allows that. Will you allow me that pleasure” “do you want to know what I see” she knew she wasn’t getting where she wanted tonight “sure” “I see.. the most beautiful woman to grace the earth, I see a girl the stars beg for at night. No art is as majestic as you. If you looked through my eyes all you would see is you, you take my vision even when we are apart.” “Oh” he was close to her, very close to her. She felt his breath on her nose, his fingers reached for hers. “It’s getting late” he pulled away “yeah, yeah it is” “the moon looks beautiful” she spoke, looking at the sky. “Yeah it does” she saw how Ben didn’t move his gaze from her, she didn’t mention it though she let him stare at her. She’d probably let him stare at her forever if it meant they were together. “I’ll take you home”.

Four

As the season progressed Benedict would wait until the late of the night to go over to y/ns home. Throw pebbles at her window, and watch her smile before she snuck out in a sleeping gown. If her mother knew she was out in the night like this she would be enraged. Hell Benedict was enraged, if someone saw them instead of simple scandal they would see her in all her glory. As she came out the back door, his breath was caught. This was a feeling known all to well for Ben, he felt it everytime he saw her. She was absolutely breathtaking. It seemed as thought she granted him permission to breath again when she grabbed his hand. Another scandal, he wondered how many they might commit tonight. They walked in comfortable silence. Y/n gazed up at the moon stopping almost immediately. “Y/n/n?” “Ben look! There’s a full moon tonight. Is it not just beautiful” “ Oh yes quite beautiful.” In truth he hadn’t looked at the sky, not once to busy looking at her. She knew, taking her free hand bringing it to Bens face to guide him to look. “It is beautiful y/n/n” “ When I am to be wed-“ he sharply turned his head to her “ When I am to wed Ben I wish you gift me a painting of the night sky, perhaps you can add us, no one would have to know.” He saddened at the thought of her marrying another though he knew it was to come. Her mother was urging her and introducing her to far to many men than Ben would like. ”I wish to show you something.” “Oh okay” she laughed as he begin to pull her quicker.

Benedict allowed her to sit in his drawing chair, watching her as she brushed her fingertips lightly against the detailed painting of her. She was in awe, she never thought she could look so beautiful. Benedict was smiling at her, attempting to commit every part of her to memory as if she hadn’t taken up the pages in sketch book. Y/n looked up at him, her smile faltering into an express he couldn’t quite make out. She tried to speak, instead opting to sigh. “Y/n/n?” He said pushing a fallen curl out of her face. “Hmm” she mumbled meeting his eyes again with a small smile. “There’s something on your mind dear?“ He takes her hands into his, carefully caressing his thumbs against her skin as though she may break. “You can tell me anything.” He assured, though she disagreed, she feared this confession would be far too *real* for Benedict to hear. “I can’t.” She spoke looking towards the painting again.” “I promise” he said, interlocking their pinkies, laughing lightly. “Tell me y/n/n? Please” she tried to find ways she could tell him no, ways she could come up with a small lie and leave, but when he was looking at her, like she was the only thing that mattered she broke. “I love you Ben” almost immediately Benedict steps backwards dropping her hands frowning. “No you don’t.” She steps after him. Slightly stumbling off the tall stool, even in his moments of weakness Benedict reached out to steady her before immediately pulling away. “I don’t appreciate you telling me how I feel” he looked insulted, like she was playing a silly game with his emotions for sport. “You don’t love me! You are simply confused Y/n” “Y/n” she spoke softly, more to herself then to the bridgerton, he hadn’t called her that since the day they met. “Y/n/n, Ben call me Y/n/n” He shook his head feverishly, tears welling in his eyes, it broke her. Benedict had not ever known love that when she confessed he was crying? The man she loved. Truly. Was crying at her hand. “Ben” she reached for his hand, he wish he could have pulled away, instead he let her grasp it. “Tell me you don’t feel the same, tell me and I will leave, we will ignore this, we will continue to be just friends.” He finally looked into her eyes “I cannot. But you are wrong. You do not, no you cannot love me. Y/n you are much to good for me.. please say you do not love me.” “Y/n/n.” She ignored everything else, “Ben please call me y/n/n” “My y/n/n please” he begged. She reached her hand to his face, cupping his cheek. Almost immediately he leaned into her. She used her free hand to guide his to her waist, a pleading look still sat in his eye. He was quite taller than her, she stood on her tip toes before he immediately ducked down. Her lips dangerously close to his, he turned his head. As if on que she immediately turned it back, “I love you with everything I have in me Benedict Bridgeton, you are the sun to my moon, I do not wish to live without you. I cannot live without you. I do not wish to find good, I want you. I could not love anyone else. You make me whole, you live in my mind like no other, my thoughts are enamored with you and only you, please ben I do truly love you, let me love you.” He had been inching his face closer towards her as she spoke so that her last words could be felt against his lips. He cracked, every promise to not ruin her had vanished. He kissed her like his dying breath depended on it. His hands pulled her closer at the waist and hers rested on his face. She pulled away first, needing to catch her breath, he kissed down to her neck, biting behind her ear. “Say it again” he whispered “I love you Benedict bridgerton” “god I could listen to say that forever” he grabbed her hand, “do you trust me” “you tell me what you think” He smiled at her, leading her out the room he used for painting. Most of the lights were out, no one in the halls, it was quite late. She didn’t ask where they were going, she assumed his room. She was right.

“You’re beautiful” Benedict said as he turned to her and saw how the moonlight peeked through the window onto her. He thought the moon must be in love with her too, like it rises every night in hopes of touching her skin. “So are you” Y/n/n said with a small laugh. “No Y/n/n; my y/n/n you are truly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. It is the greatest honor to be in your presence” Ben watched her, all of her, the slight upturn of her lips. He ran his hand from her check down her neck to her arm then hand. “Ben” he leaned down to kiss her shoulder, up her neck, finding it easy to learn all of her spots. He moved to sit on the bed allowing her to slot between his legs. “Y/n/n” “Ben?” “Will you marry me?” “What?” “I want to marry you y/n/n. I’ve wanted to marry you since the first day we met” “Yes of course Ben” Immediately kissing him as they fell back onto the bed.

[alcestas-sloboda]

Why Ukrainians didn’t produce a Tolstoy?

there are a lot of things that can piss me off, today it was this tweet:

and all i wanted to do was to ask this person, why the fuck do we need a racist misogynistic piece of shit as a standout author if we have Shevchenko as our prophet?

but you don’t know who he is? of course, you don’t. that is the thing with imperialism: you destroy other cultures while promoting yours as the only way to legitimise your rule. even if those territories are of higher cultural development. but there is always a way out of it: kill them all. kill anyone who poses an existential threat to your hegemony. throw them into jail. forbid them to write and paint. send them to gulag. kill them. torture them. execute them.

if you don’t know Ukrainian literature, it doesn’t mean that it‘s nonexistent. if you don’t know "a Ukrainian Tolstoy", it means there is a Ukrainian Bahrianyi, who was sent to the gulag but ran away and was the first person in the world to openly criticise USSR in his pamphlet Why I am not going back to the Soviet Union. "I don't want to go back to the USSR because a person there is worth less than an insect"

there is a Ukrainian Symonenko and a Ukrainian Stus. there is a Ukrainian Lesya Ukrainka and Olha Kobylyanska. a Ukrainian Kotsiubynskyi, Ukrainian Drach, Ukrainian Olena Pchilka and Ukrainian Lina Kostenko. and so many more of the bravest people who despite all wrote in the Ukrainian language about Ukrainian people and for Ukrainian people.

there are thousands of beautiful texts that weren’t translated because this would’ve harmed the empire. that is why you are reading Dostoevsky and not Khvyliovyi.

but there are also thousands of texts that were never written. just how many more poems would’ve Stus written if he wasn’t killed by the Soviet regime? how many more texts would have Pidmohylnyi, Semenko, Yalovyi, Yohansen, Zerov written if they weren’t shot at Sandarmokh?

just how many texts have the world missed out on because Khvyliovyi committed suicide as he couldn’t live in the world with Stalin’s repressions. "today is a beautiful sunny day. I love life - you can't even imagine how much", - he will write in his death note as he shot himself with his friends waiting for him in the next room.

or maybe there was a Ukrainian Nobel Prize in Literature waiting for Tychyna? maybe, but he submitted to Soviet authorities and started writing hails for the regime, suddenly forgetting his own literary style and living his entire life in fear. fear of what? fear of getting caught. of getting destroyed just as all of the previous Ukrainian intelligentsia.

I’m tired of my people being silenced. I’m tired of my poets being undermined by "great” russian literature. it’s not worth a single Symonenko’s poem. it’s not worth a single paragraph of Bahrianyi‘s prose.

the greatness of russian literature lies on the bones of Ukrainian writers. to be this high, they killed hundreds and they are still doing it today.

the body of Ukrainian children’s writer Volodymyr Vakulenko was found in the mass grave in Izium in September 2022.

there will be a Ukrainian Nobel Prize in Literature, and there will be more Ukrainian books. there will be Ukrainian Zhadan and Zabuzhko, Liubka and Izdryk, Deresh and Kidruk. there will be Ukrainian literature.

another funny thing is that this person is Indian and let me tell you: the fact that you stand up for one empire even when your own country has suffered from the doings of another is evidence of deep colonial trauma and I hope you will cure yourself soon

[writer-by-the-sea]

Can I ask for a gender neutral drabble request about farmer feeling insecure and asking Elliott if he thinks they’re sexy and he admits to thinking about them when he touches himself? 🥺

“Have you ever just felt so unattractive that you don’t even think a turtle would be interested in you?”

Elliot startled beside me, I forgot that we hadn’t spoken in a few minutes… Or was it more than an hour now? I wasn’t sure. We would often hang out at the beach together after Elliott finished his yoga for the day. I’ve even joined him a few times, but honestly I stretch enough getting eggs out from under the chickens little bums that I couldn’t bare to do one more damn ‘triangle downward pose’ even if I wanted to.

“In your defense,” Elliot began. “I don’t believe turtles can be sexually attracted to humans.”

I snorted. Of course he would reply with the facts. And it was a silly question to begin with, the man looked like a bronze god sitting next to me. Shirtless and wearing those god damn red shorts that have me drooling in my sleep. “Never mind,” I replied with a laugh. “It was a dumb question—“

“No, it wasn’t.” Elliott’s voice was firm as he stared at me, his frown actually making me feel bad for even asking. “And, for the record, you’re very good looking.”

Um.

What?

I said nothing and just stared back at him, his eyes soft and caring as he gazed back at me. He had a single elbow propped on his knee, smiling now as he watched me— waiting for me to say something, anything in reply.

“I think about you,” Elliot said before I could manage to mumble out literally anything. “As in, when I’m in bed, or in the shower…” He paused, pressing his lips together as he thought to himself. “In the bathroom at the pub once, it was the day you walked in after being at the mines and the monsters tore half your clothes off...”

Hang on.

WHAT.

I held my hand up, stopping him from continuing and shook my head as I tried to process what the hell he was saying. He thought of me? In the shower? In bed? At the pub? What the hell did that even mean—

“I cum so easily when I think of you.”

Well there’s my answer.

Elliott was so relaxed as he spoke, shrugging after he just dropped a bomb on me as if it was nothing at all. “You’re very good looking, I never saw myself fantasying about the only farmer in town. However, it’s become a daily event now.”

“Elliott,” I paused. How does one even reply to this? Sure, the question I asked may have been a been asinine— but! To reply, and to reply so causally. “Ar you— are you saying to jerk off to me?”

“Everyday, yes.”

I dropped myself into the sand, uncaring anymore about the hot sand as it burned the back of my neck and arms, my hair was going to be a real bitch to wash later but I couldn’t even think about that right now. Elliott, the hottest guy in town, who writes poems and short stories with ease, who does yoga on the beach, who laughs with me at Gus’ pub, who is actually a dork that’s obsessed with Star Wars—

Jerks off to me.

Every. Single. Day.

Elliott laid down beside me on his side, worry painted all over his gorgeous face. “Farmer? Do you want me to stop?”

I laughed, just amazed at the entire situation. “No, you don’t… no.”

“Thank goodness,” Elliot said with a sigh and rolled to his back. “I don’t think I would have been able to stop. Especially after today.”

“Elliott,” I said and sat up, looking down at him with narrowed eyes. “What on earth would have happened today that would make it any harder to stop?”

“Well—“

I gestured down to myself. “I stink like chickens, my jeans were so beat up I cut them into shorts, I’m wearing an old hole filled white tank top— none of this,” I took a beat to gesture to myself one again. “Would give you the material needed to jerk off to.”

“Your shirt is absolutely soaked from the swim you took earlier, I can see your nipples.”

….

I looked down and groaned. “Elliot!”

“They’re very sexy nipples.”

And I could die.

[simpingforstardew]

muse

pairing: sdv elliot x reader

synopsis: elliot is struggling with severe writers block; if only he had a muse...

note: a while ago i talked about having a derivative idea for an elliot x reader fic; here is that fic !! the premise is completely unoriginal, but i'll leave the references at the end of the fic to avoid spoilers hehe

warnings: i don't even know for this one gang, wholesome w/ an ending that could be read as spooky? let's call it a doomed romance !! tw/ relationships that are doomed by the narrative !!

word count: 1.5k

Adronitis

A heart so damaged; tender; sore—

You ever-blooming sycamore,

Through hunger pangs; my deliriousness,

I mourn my mortal catoptric tristesse.

With starving dreams, your warmth I crave—

I worship you, I must embrave,

Indulge me, lay your fear ahind.

Our sanctuary; your piece of mind.

My amorous famine demands more […more what?],

So I feast on your smile […] petrichor.

i am just writing this right niw so it

looks lije i am being pro ductive oh Yoba

andnow leahs comin g over this

is alll shit im jist going to star t overrr

“How’s the writing going, El’?” Leah peers down at Elliot with a smile, wiping the sweat from her brow. “We’ve been at it for a while without a break, you know?”

“Oh, Leah! It’s going splendidly, and yes, it seems we have…” Elliot coughs, avoiding eye contact while tearing the paper from his typewriter. “Why don’t we call it for today then?”

“Without showing me what you’ve done? C’mon,” she whines, “What do you have?”

Elliot and Leah had decided, sometime early last Spring, to meet in Cindersnap forest every Wednesday to work on their current projects. ‘Parallel play for artists,’ Penny once called it when walking Jas back to Marnie’s ranch. For Leah, this weekly rendezvous has (so far) allowed her to complete 2 clay sculptures, 3 wood sculptures, 23 drawings, and 8 paintings; for Elliot, the last few months has allowed him to create…

“Nothing,” Elliot sighs, packing his typewriter’s case with a frown. “I have, somehow, written nothing! I mean, I wanted to craft a Petrarchan sonnet, inspired by Poe’s romantic, yet macabre sensibilities. I ended up with trash I couldn’t even make hendecasyllabic. It’s embarrassingly Shakespearian and—”

“Whoa, whoa, buddy, that’s okay. That’s fine. I’m not sure what any of that means, but…” Leah scrunches her freckled nose, hoping to find the right words to calm Elliot down, “It seems like you’re expecting perfection from a first draft. Maybe we should call it for today, and you could revisit your poem tomorrow?”

“Yes, you are right,” the authors scowl softens; after a moment of meditation—feeling the summer breeze tangle in his hair—he looks towards Leah with a smile. “I will see you next week, Miss Faraday.”

Elliot didn’t return to his typewriter until later that week, deciding instead to bask in the sun’s warmth on the beach. The author sits on the pier with a contented sigh, the rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore providing a soothing backdrop to his afternoon reverie.

Even still, despite the Elysium that he has found himself in, Elliot cannot shake his frustrations; his linguistic discouragement plagued his every thought.

“Ahoy there, my boy! Perfect weather for fishing don’t ya reckon?” Willy smiles, closing the front door to the Fish Shop behind him. Elliot

“Ah, hello Mr. Tucker,” Elliot waves as the fisherman sits beside him, attaching a small blue tackle onto an impressively shiny rod, “I suppose it is, although I fear I don’t have my fishing gear with me today.”

“What’d I tell you about calling me that? No need to be so formal, son,” Willy chuckles, casting a line into the vast depths of the saltwater, “Say, aren’t ya usually off in town around this time? Feel like I never see you this early on a Wednesday.”

Elliot still had to adjust to the predictive routine of a small town, and the horrifying consequences of straying from said routine: becoming the topic of mid-afternoon gossip.

“Yes, well, I um—,” Elliot sighs, looking into the deep blue below as if the ocean concealed the antidote to writers block, “I have been, writing with Leah every Wednesday and… actually can I ask for some advice?”

“O’ Course ya can, my boy.” Willy nods.

“I have been… struggling lately,” The taller man slumps as he runs a hand through his auburn hair, his voice heavy with uncertainty, “I feel as if I have lost my spark, my… capacité artistique. I cannot, for the life of me, write anything of quality! I just… I feel broken, Mr. William.”

Willy takes a moment to think, slowly breathing in the salty air, “Hmm, I see your problem, lad— but it’s important to know yer not broken. Aye, nothin’ about ya is broken.”

A fish tugs at Willy’s fishing line: desperately; hopelessly.

“It’s like if yer pal Willy couldn’t fish anymore… I’d sooner swallow a sea urchin than lose my ability to do what I love,” Willy pulls the rod towards him, putting up a fight with whatever poor creature is on the other end of the line, “but sometimes it’s tricky doing what ya love 24/7, son! You got to remind yerself to take breaks, and…”

The creature is hurled out of the ocean, flapping helplessly as the fisherman releases it from his tackle. Willy holds the freshly-caught octopus up to Elliot.

“Remind yerself why ya love it!” Willy chuckles, before mumbling to himself about throwing his newest catch in a tank lest he ‘gets inked’.

As Elliot sits in contemplative silence, the ocean offering solace: the rushing winds, the distant cry of seagulls, even the smell of salty air. Over the last year and a half, he has grown to love it all.

As he rises to his feet, Elliot considers his friends’ advice. He certainly didn’t want to remain in this slump forever; so he needs to find a reminder of why he loves writing; a source of reinvigorating inspiration.

He needs to find a muse.

A muse in a village with a population of 27.

‘Well,’ Elliot thinks, slamming his cabin’s door shut behind him as he slides onto his desk chair. He sets up his Olympia SM 9 for the second time today. ‘If I can’t find my muse in life, I will simply create my muse in art.’

For a moment, the black page loaded into the typewriter stares back at Elliot, mockingly. Then, as suddenly as the crash of thunder that bellows from above, the author began to write.

Elliot bursts into the Fish Shop, his manuscript clutched tightly in hand, a triumphant gleam in his eye. “Willy, my friend, you’re incredible!” he cheered, his excitement palpable. “I truly could not have done this without your support.”

Willy grins, offering a sincere thumbs-up. “Glad to hear it, lad! So what was your reminder, eh? What got you back on track?”

Elliot coughs, a flush creeping up his freckled cheeks. “Well, you see… I made it up.”

Willy arches an eyebrow, bemused,“Ya made up yer reminder for why you love writing? Now, son…”

“No, no,” Elliot hastens to explain, “My love for writing is genuine. But my muse, my darling muse, is not.”

“I’m not following, my boy.”

“I have spent all night crafting the narrative of a completely fabricated person, it’s all here,” Elliot elaborates, “They’re genuinely kind, talented and hard-working, despite never being appreciated. They have the most charming mole on their neck, and they’re delightfully witty! After their grandfather passed away, they—”

“Son,” Willy interrupted gently, his tone tinged with amusement, “Yer a peculiar one, ya know that? How is this going to help with yer writing?”

“It does sound ridiculous, but dedicating my sonnets to this idealised character… thinking of them as I work on my novel… It has been phenomenally motivating!” Elliot laughs, re-reading through the pages before stopping in his tracks, “Oh, I do apologise old friend, I barged into your shop like a man possessed.”

It had been months since Elliot had felt such a fervent desire to write; his unbridled excitement was contagious; a smirk spreads across Willy’s face, crinkling the corners of his dark green eyes.

“If it were anyone else instead of you, I’d be furious, lad,” Willy chuckles, reaching into his mini fridge, “‘Ere, I whipped up too many crab cakes last night, and I know they’re yer favourite— consider it a gift.”

As Elliot arrives back at his cabin, writing snacks in tow, the muffled playing of his piano greets him. He chuckles softly, before preparing to shoo Harvey out of his home so he could resume his day of writing.

“Sincerest apologies, I—,”

“Oh! Honey, you’re back so soon.” Turning away from the piano, your eyes catch Elliot’s with a familiar warmth. You admire the way your boyfriend’s hair always forms delicate waves when exposed to the sea spray.

The author was struck speechless, his heart pounding as he stared at you with more focus than you have ever been subject to.

It couldn’t be real. And yet there you are. You. The muse Elliot had crafted— who's entire life was written mere hours prior on the pages that were now strewn about the floor— was standing before him in flesh and blood.

Every flawless detail exactly as he had imagined.

“Elliot, darling, are you okay?” Your smile becomes wry; nervous as to why your lover was acting so peculiar, his pale skin was now a ghastly white. “Would you like me to pour some wine? We can—”

Before your suggestion was made, Elliot was gone; the door slamming shut behind him.

note #2: okay if you didn't catch it, my inspiration was the 1960 episode of the Twilight Zone: 'A World of His Own', and (more relevantly) the 2012 psychological horror romcom Ruby Sparks !! if you check out either that episode or movie, pleasepleaseplease lmk what you think <33

[s1ckh1mb0]

Lemme give you a megaphone so the ppl in the back can hear you bestie‼️🫶🏽

Like yes I wanna be longingly fucked sideways with fingers down my throat till I’m all teary eyed but….what if me and him just went to a museum and look at marble statues or paintings made by artists from long ago and point out the small details while sharing the historical context behind them. Or what if we held hands while going to a coffee shop owned by a small business then an old bookshop. We could read classic literature and write poems to each other or sum🤷🏾

I love this so much. Like the causal intimacy of being together with your girlfriend/boyfriend and being able to have interesting conversations and spending time with you is what makes doing things like this so great. Both of your phones away in your back pockets so that you both have one another’s attention. Time can go by so fast without the distractions of other people around trying to voice opinions. Learning together and growing together as you both grow older.

There are many different characters I can see this with. Especially when it comes to the women. Most time they are some of the most intellectual people and they just get thrown off. The AOT girls are the first ones that come to mind. Mikasa and Historia especially. Those two would absolutely love to do something casual with you. Historia is an absolute renaissance art lover. Michaelangelo is would be one of her favorite artists. She knows so many facts and can tell you for literal hours. Painting dates ejth Historia oh my lord. One of her favorite things to do. She’s so messy with it and it’s so cute.

Mikasa though? She’s all for cafe dates. She is obsessed with you. Now I think Mikasa and Historia had a bit more fancier taste because of who they are, but Mikasa loved being to be close to you and just hear you talk to her about just about anything. Her pretty nails that you did for her, twisting around your curls as she sat prettily on your lap while you fed the small cake that she bought for you guys.

Another girl I think this works for is Bulma from dragonball. Oh my god that woman is beautiful and smart. Museum dates are 100% guaranteed. She’s one of the smartest characters in that entire show and you think you’re getting out of hearing everything that woman knows? She is so graceful with it too. The two of you walking around hand in hand while she educates you on all the different facts is so amazing. She also loves how much you know on your niche and different interests. Especially if comes things about science or the body. She loves being able to talk to someone on her level or educate you.

When it comes to men the first thing to comes to men first people that come to mind are Nanami and Levi. We all know how Nanami is, he’s the hardworking man that we all love and there’s no way you guys don’t have a museum date at least once. But, I can see nanami doing bakery dates. Something small you both can fit in your busy schedules because nanami had made a vow to himself that you guys do at-least two times a month. He loves to use that time to discuss anything you think has been affecting you guys, whether to be in the relationship or just something bothering you at work or whatever. If there’s nothing bother you then you guys just talk about any events coming up or even planning the future you want to have for the both of you. It’s the ambiance of the bakery that makes you both feel so calm which is so different from the many things you have to do all day. He holds your hand as you speak, rubbing his thumb over your knuckle while watching your lips as he digest every word that comes from your lips.

Levi is totally the bookstore date kind of man. Sometimes you guys don’t really want or have anything to talk about. You just both miss each other so you sit together while reading. Both doing your own thing but being close enough to fill the need of being together. You both have your own books (headcanon that Levi prefers audio books instead cause of his lost of vision) and you rest your hand on his lap as you sit together on the small bench in for bookstore. He is retired so you two take a lot of time to yourselves, just enjoying the presence of one another..

Even people like Captain price and Laswell from call of duty, they love going out to drive in movies with you. You end up sitting on their lap while they laid in the back seat. Halfway through the movie those two aren’t even watchin anymore. Laswell would just be kissing the back of your neck while wrapping her arms around your waist, silently thinking about how lucky she is to have you in her life. While price is just happily watching all perched up in his lap, smoking his cigar, and thinking about how in love he is with you.

———————————————————————

Anyways I love all these ideas and a lot of people currently (especially men) don’t do dates and showing affection like people used to. I feel with how everything is on social media people just mostly look for someone sexually or they base a lot of opinions on the sexual aspect of the relationship. Like yeah that’s great and all but I want someone to YEARN for me. To want to be around me and miss me when I’m gone. Someone willing to remember small things because I feel like when someone knows you well knows what efforts to put in when it comes to loving you and showing you ways they do.

And I’m fortunately lucky enough to have a man like that❤️ @insane-juggalo

[mommopurinn]

"Interspersion of light", Yomi and Juurou's after story

Now living peacefully, one day Yomi seems to have found a new ‘hobby’… It’s a story about an idle alien in late summer.

I was walking up the slope next to the hedge.

The gravel was heated by the sun, and the surroundings looked hazy, as if in a dream.

Bamboo leaves cast a shadow on one side of the road, attracting walkers.

A long and narrow path covered in shadow.

And after the end of the slope, the scorching heat continues.

I noticed an old man walking down and stepped out of the shadow.

When we passed each other, we bowed and tipped our hats.

Our sleeves brushed against each other.

It was late summer, when cicadas started to change their voices.

Having finished my 'work' before noon, I was coming back home, where he was waiting for me.

     

There’s a poetic word for late summer.

It’s supposed to make a melancholic impression, but today’s heat made you forget about it.

My 'work' was to go from home to the post office.

But only now have I thought that I shouldn't have underestimated this trip and should have brought a hand fan with me.

     

The front door was opened to let the wind in.

It passed through the gates along with me, and the wind chime rang in a clear sound.

This sound let him know that I had come back.

I took off the geta, hung up the hat, and wiped my neck, drenched in sweat, with the sleeve.

I crossed the corridor, trying to look as calm as possible.

     

“I’m home.”

“Welcome back.”

     

He was the one who told me that I should have brought a hand fan.

Yomi smiled with just his eyes and dropped his gaze back to his hands. Slowly and steadily, scissors were eating into the paper.

There was a pile of small cut-out squares scattered around the tea table.

I sat on the opposite side, and he passed me a cup of tea he was drinking.

It tasted like water with melted ice.

     

We lived quietly.

I earned some money by writing poems and publishing them in magazines.

Earlier I went to the post office to send the manuscript.

“How was the response?”

“They keep urging me, so they must have liked it.”

“I see. This is good to hear.”

“...I don’t know about this.”

“Is it not impressive?”

“It’s just a miserable man’s feelings put on display.”

“I am quite happy to think that your words might save someone.”

“......”

“So, when will I get to read it?”

Yomi didn’t look away from his hands.

I looked at the radiant summer garden, listening to the faraway sound of cicadas and the nearby sound of scissors.

“I’ve told you many times. These are just my words to you put together as poems.”

“Then it should be fine for me to read it, right?”

“......”

On the second glance, I noticed that Yomi’s hands had stopped. He smiled at me, his eyes narrowed.

He was enjoying the way my voice had gotten stuck in my throat after his teasing.

“Words are fish, and poems are fossils.”

“I like fossils.”

“Words are fossils, and poems are soil.”

“I like soil as well.”

“Please, don’t make fun of me… I don’t want you to ask me of this only when you feel like it.”

He put down the scissors and walked out into the corridor with a smile on his face.

“It must have been hot,” he said, and I heard his footsteps heading to the kitchen.

I took the scissors in his stead and started cutting the paper in the same way he did.

These pieces of paper with one or two dots painted on them are called piece marks.

They're printed on food and housewares packaging.

I’m not sure why Yomi started collecting them. Probably out of boredom.

     

“Tarou-san sent us a gift.”

     

I heard Yomi’s voice from the kitchen.

At the same time I heard the sound of cork being pulled out.

“It’s your favourite orange juice.”

“First time I hear about that.”

Only my uncle and aunt know about our quietude.

They live in Aoyama and don’t visit this house.

They know it would be a burden for me if they tried to get closer.

Yomi came back and put two glasses on the tea table.

How nostalgic.

Memories of my uncle doing the same when we were kids came to mind.

“I finished cutting it out.”

“Thank you.”

“What will you do when you collect them all?”

“I will send them to Seijo elementary school. They have a box near the gates to collect offerings from the neighbourhood.”

He slid one mark across the table with his index finger.

Then he started to arrange the scattered cut-outs by the score.

When he collected ten one-point marks, he smiled in delight.

"Apparently, they can be exchanged for different goods according to the score. The school could buy an electric fan or a heater.”

“I see.”

“So I am acting like a hero!”

“...Huh?”

I said involuntarily.

In a split second that I was looking down, Yomi had hidden his face behind a magazine.

It was Josei Nine for which I was writing.

“......”

“They have a special feature on fireworks.”

“...I see.”

“It seems like there will be a fireworks display in Tamagawa tonight.”

“......”

“Why don’t we go see it?”

“It’s far.”

“We can view it from the shrine nearby.”

Ice was crumbling inside the glass.

I nodded with a sigh, and Yomi lowered the magazine. Eyes, shaped like crescent moons, peeked at me.

     

Interspersion of light

     

"This brings back memories.”

     

We have gone to temple festivals before.

It was back when you still couldn’t walk.

You were drawn in by the sound of the fireworks, so I slipped out of our house, carrying you on my back.

Clutching on my clothes to not fall, you were watching the festival hustle and fireworks blooming in the sky with your eyes wide open.

     

And now you are standing next to me without my help.

“Am I wearing my yukata properly?”

“Yes. It suits you.”

“Thank you.”

A speaker that was supposed to be a siren was playing festival songs today.

Back then, I couldn’t do what I promised you.

I turned my back to the place you were pointing at, saying “I want to go”, and ran home as fast as I could.

     

Yomi was going up the stairs with a light sound.

I followed him, not running anymore.

     

Night market stalls were lined up on the temple grounds.

The crowd was brimming with excitement.

“It looked like a spaceship.”

“?”

Paper lanterns as portholes.

Old songs as an alien language.

From the very beginning, I always knew that you were not from this world.

“Like a ship that came to take you home.”

This temple was standing on a hill in the residential area.

Scared by the festival lights emerging from the evening darkness, I didn’t dare to come close.

And now, when I had finally revealed the truth, Yomi covered his mouth with both hands and laughed silently.

“My people are not that kind.”

“......”

I couldn’t know that.

“If no news came, I would be assumed dead. And this planet would be declared as an unsuitable environment.”

“So… no replacement or help would come?”

“The invasion efficiency rate is 100%. There is no chance that attack would be unsuccessful.”

“Then it’s 99%.”

“?”

“I’m talking about you.”

“Ah, this is what you mean… 1% that had stayed because of his own indecisiveness.”

I didn’t notice the moment I started holding his hand.

“Back then, I wanted to go only to learn about the folk beliefs of this world.”

“And did you learn anything?”

“Yes.”

Yomi’s cheeks turned red.

This smile was definitely meant for me, not for the mask.

     

“Ah!!!”

     

Yomi’s pupils suddenly widened.

He pointed behind me, shaking our joined hands.

“Look at this, Juurou!!”

I was dragged to the shooting range.

He was excitedly looking at the rice cooker put on display in the middle of the stall.

Did you really want something like this?

Would you even be able to use it considering how bad you are with machines?

Yomi ignored my confusion and got even more excited.

“Please!”

Nudged by their parents, children tried to get the rice cooker.

Every time the ball hit the box and bounced back, Yomi trembled slightly.

Even if you don’t rush…

“It’s usually impossible to get a prize like that.”

“You can’t know if you don’t try!”

Child who had missed the target left the shooting range.

Yomi took the gun in their stead and aimed, placing his elbows on the table.

I paid 30 yen to the shopkeeper.

Sounds of children firing blanks echoed next to us.

Even some parents who decided to try themselves have given up and started leaving.

The price of this is 30 yen.

Yet Yomi still aimed at the rice-cooker with his eyes wide-open.

It’s absurd.

Trying to get the target in the centre from the very side of the table.

“Aim at the underside.”

“......”

“You have three shots, and if you manage to push it down…”

It suddenly became very quiet, I thought.

Yomi looked up at me as I spoke with such seriousness and chuckled.

He brought one eye down to the gun and pulled the trigger.

A heavy sound that definitely wasn’t that of a blank hit the box.

     

“I told you, didn’t I?”

     

The box leaned back and was now supported by the stall’s curtain.

It was as if the rice cooker itself was surprised, having no plans to fall.

While me and the shopkeeper were staring at it in amazement, Yomi smiled shyly to the applause of the children.

     

When we left the stall, it was completely dark outside.

Yomi had a hundred-point piece mark in his hand.

And the rice cooker was put in the centre of the display again, with its box cut a little bit.

“Household appliances sure do give a lot of points!”

“It's good that we didn’t take the actual thing home.”

“It would have broken if I tried to use it.”

“It would.”

“Why do you seem so relieved?”

“Nothing can compare to the kamameshi you make.”

     

Darkness deepened. You could feel the autumn approaching.

But the crowd of people on the long road wanting to preserve the summer made the temperature rise.

Children wearing masks were shouting their secret techniques.

A dazzling earthling and an alien collecting piece marks.

I gripped Yomi’s hand even stronger than before.

“I am not going anywhere.”

Yomi answered me.

“I am here.”

“I still can’t trust you.”

It had been a while since the last time we walked together like this.

Even if I know that other people can see you, I still can’t help but think that this convenient happiness is just a dream.

“You are a man who can disappear as soon as I let go of your hand.”

It’s not as if I wanted to hear any excuses from him, but...

When I looked at his face, waiting for an answer, Yomi smiled, as always.

“Can you show me a face like this again?”

“?”

“It was very cute.”

“I’m not joking.”

I quickened my pace.

Yomi, whom I pulled with me, suddenly lost his footing.

He almost fell forward, but I caught him in my chest.

The strap of his geta was snapped.

The crowd went around us, who were standing still, and flowed forward like a river.

“Ah, it finally snapped.”

“These geta are quite old.”

I picked up the geta, lending him my shoulder instead.

     

The tree shadow on the side of the road was dim and concealed us from the noise.

He leaned back on the tree, and I kneeled before him, checking the geta.

They belonged to my young father or uncle.

The other one seemed fine at first glance, but when I looked closer, I saw that its strap was also damaged.

“Maybe it happened because I started running.”

“Because you tripped, probably.”

I ripped a strip from my handkerchief and twisted it into a small rope.

I tied it in place of the strap and put the geta on Yomi’s foot.

It was too loose and shook around.

It definitely needed to be readjusted.

“Thank you.”

“Let’s buy new ones at the stalls.”

I took Yomi’s ankle to try putting the geta on again.

Suddenly, as if coming out of smoke, his foot touched my chin.

“!”

He urged me to look up.

I didn’t notice when a gentle and affectionate smile appeared on his face.

“What do I need to do for you to believe me?”

“......”

His toes traced my Adam’s apple, pulled aside my collar, and touched my collarbone.

“I am always telling you that this is not a dream, am I not?”

In Yomi’s eyes, I saw myself furrowing my brows like a child.

Seeing me like this, he pulled his foot back.

His gaze went to the road, where the lights were shining.

I laid down the broken geta and put my hand on the side of his face.

I want to ask you so many things.

You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to.

But…

I’m scared.

“I can’t love you when you’re so fickle.”

My vanity was melted away by the heat of the festival.

I’m sure Yomi felt the same.

“When I split this Earth into two… I think I was split as well.”

“......”

“We were both saved by Shin’ichi and walked the same path.

…But one thing that was different, was ‘her’, who was supposed to become your mother but fell in love with another being.”

Another… being.

“Just like a certain someone, she loved the blues of the Earth.”

“......”

“Because of this, you were never born; because of this, the world exists as it is now.”

“......”

“She really was a handful. To think that she would forget about her role in waking myself and put herself to ‘sleep’ as well…”

“......”

“However, I am not your dream…”

“What relationship did you have with my mother?”

“?”

Every time you mentioned ‘her’ while speaking in your familiar tone, my heart darkened.

“...Was she your partner?”

“Huh?”

Yomi’s eyes opened wide, and he burst into laughter.

But when he saw that I didn’t laugh with him, he closed his mouth, swallowing the rest.

“What did you find so weird?”

“I am sorry; I did not think that you would care about this.”

“You thought that I wouldn’t care?”

“Are you jealous?”

“......”

“Please, do not worry.”

One hand touching the other, our fingers intertwined.

     

“I only ever had one partner in my life. It is you, Juurou.”

     

Vibrations shook the festival grounds.

Immediately, everyone looked at the sky.

Seeing Yomi’s cheek turn red, I realised that the fireworks has begun.

     

“Let’s go.”

     

Yomi took my hand and started running.

A black thread was tied in place of a geta strap that was about to snap again.

It seems like once more I missed the time when he started walking by himself.

Listening to the sounds of fireworks behind my back, I ran up the long stone stairs.

     

When I looked back at the wide open sky, I saw dots of light spreading throughout it.

Colourful fireworks bloomed in it and then faded away.

Probably, residents of all the wardens gazed at these lights and sounds, yearning for the stars.

     

“Thousands of meteors have fallen in the last hundred years.”

One more firework went up.

“Even before I arrived, ‘all kinds of things’ came here flying.

And humans must have come in contact with them.”

“They probably did.”

“And when needed, their sleeping protective instinct must have been awakened.”

Just as hawks have claws and bees have venom, we, who live on the same planet, must have the power to fight.

So maybe heroes called Icaruses were an immune response meant to protect the Earth.

“This planet is not suited for an alien like me after all.”

“It looks quite peaceful to me.”

“Do you really think so?”

“?”

“Do not mind me.”

What did you imply by that…

“Did you know that there was heavy rain yesterday?”

“Ah, I heard about it. It’s good that Sayashi residence wasn’t flooded even for a millimetre.”

“And there was a case with people growing animal ears. Maybe it really was a dream, just as you say.”

“It was. And you looked extremely good.”

“......”

Yomi snuggled closer to me, as if asking to stay this way.

     

“When you die, I will destroy the Earth.”

     

One more firework went up.

“But until then, I will protect your peace.”

“I won’t die.

I’ll be reborn as a blue flower next. The colour that you love so much.

When you find me, take me and put me in your hair.

And by the time I wilt, I’ll be reborn as a new flower once again.”

     

You didn’t laugh at my words.

Looking at you shedding tears, I was the one who laughed.

     

Please, tell me if there are any mistakes or places that sound weird.

[dsireland86]

LOVESONG

Nicholas Ruffilo x Reader

18+ for smut, language, and angst

"However far away I will always love you However long I stay I will always love you/Whatever words I say I will always love you I will always love you"

TAGS:

@somewhere-diamond, @philomenie, @pathion, @acciobuckybarness

                            Lovesong

“Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again/ Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again.”

The constant dragging of the pen across my skin doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. Nick was right when he told me I'd be fine. I watch him, how he easily guides the needle over my skin, following the lines of the words painted on my arm. It’s a simple tattoo; simple words in simple writing, but it’s the meaning behind them. It’s what it represents that makes me smile. I look up at Nick and watch his expression, so serious, so focused, and smile, grateful that he's mine.

“There, finished,” he says, turning off the pen and removing his gloves. I bring my arm over and grin when I see the finished product. It’s perfect. I have no intention masking the tears forming behind my eyes either because if there’s anything Nicholas knows best about me it’s that I get emotional when it comes to him, so I leave them, letting them softly slide down my cheeks. The words carry a deep meaning for me and Nick ever since we listened to the song they belonged together. It was the first time we kissed, and that first kiss led to many sweet, hot make out sessions and moments of realizing that neither of us wanted anyone else. They were the bridge that connected our hearts together and reminded us of the truth; that we would always love each other. Looking up into his pale green eyes, he slid his hand over my cheek while holding my stare, smiling.   

“I love it, thank you baby.” Grinning, I pull Nicholas into me, giving him a gentle kiss, but the more he leans into me, the more greedy I become. Our tongues meet and dance together as I grip the corner of his shirt with my one good hand and cling to him, never wanting to let him go. If I do, I might stop breathing. “How can I be so fucking attracted to you by just you laying in chair like this,” he mumbles against my lips while climbing on top of me. Giggling, I welcome him, opening my legs wider so he can lay into me and when he does I instantly feel complete. The pressure of his swollen length, hard against my heat, stirs the fire in me that is yearning to ignite into something unstoppable. Nick’s breath is shaky, telling me he’s thinking of things he probably shouldn’t be, but rubs noses with mine anyway, caressing the side of my face with his long, tattooed hand. He creases his brow in frustration, trying to find a stimulant for the friction between his own legs. I want to be that stimulant so I encourage him by arching my back and thrusting my sex against him. “Why am I so freaking in love with you,” he grumbles and lowers his lips to my neck. I arch my head back further to give him more access and moan as he continues rubbing against me. “I could write poems on your neck with my lips; that’s how much I love you.” I feel the low rumble of a growl against his chest as his lips slide across my neck.

“You just love the idea of me,” I joke.

“No.” Nicholas pulls back and looks at me. “No,” he says again, caressing the side of my face again. "I do love you,” pecking my lips. I can’t help but smile a little and pull him down with my one good arm, and kiss him, hard. 

“I love you too; so much that I can’t even explain it.” 

Nick’s eyes have always been the focal point for me. They were the first thing I ever noticed about him. They way they look at me, see me, they just make me dive right into him, head first with no regret. We stare into each other for a moment and just when I think he’s about to get up, he lifts my shirt up instead and begins to drag his hands over my belly and under the waistband of my leggings, making me gasp. He looks up at me with a smirk and tugs at my leggings, until he has them partially down. 

“Nick, what the fuck!” I’m so scared someone’s going to catch us. 

“Relax, Y/N. We’re good. It’s late. No one’s coming back tonight.” He gets up off me and pulls the privacy curtain that loops entirely around his work space closed. 

“Better,” he asks? I nod, giving him a shy smile. “Are you going to leave me like this?” pointing towards my bottom half. Nick pulls out his phone and my eyes grow wide. “Don’t you dare, Ruffilo,” I scold him. But he just smiles and snaps a few pictures of me before I’m able to do anything. “For memories sake,” he smirks. “No!” I cry, throwing my head back, laughing. Leaving me exactly how I am, Nick begins to clean up my finished tattoo, working carefully, but quickly so we can continue where he left off. After covering it properly and removing his gloves, he slides over to me on his rolling stool and removes my leggings entirely. Spreading my legs and exposing my soaking wet pussy to his eyes alone, Nicholas licks his lips and whistles. “Really, We’re doing this here?” Not that I minded. I just wanted to hear him tell me how badly he wanted me. He looks up at me and grins while grabbing his phone and after a few seconds of waiting, our song begins to play over the bluetooth speaker.

My heart stops beating and the feeling that swallows me up is indescribable. “Nick,” I whisper as “Lovesong” by the Cure plays, filling the room with a haunting aurora. “Relax my love. Embrace the feeling,” he says convincingly, rising to his feet and pulling me down until my ass is partially off the chair. He sinks to his knees as I grip the sides of the chair in anticipation of what’s about to happen. When his tongue licks up in between my folds a loud, unintentional cry escapes me, and as he begins to work up my pussy, I embrace the feeling  rushing through me like he told me to and refuse to hold back any sound or word that wants to escape. 

“Shit baby, fuck,” I moan, feeling Nick’s tongue plunge deep inside my opening. Between the lyrics being belted out by Robert Smith and the way Nick is fucking me with his mouth, my arousal is climbing quickly to its tipping point. “Y/N, I fucking love you so much, you know that, right?” I look down at Nick and the way he’s staring at me, mouth glistening with a mixture of my juices and his spit have me all kinds of crazy. But I nod, too out of breath to say anything. He smiles while running his finger through my slit and I hear him moan the second he dives back into me, eating and devouring everything he wants. “You’re mine to touch,” I hear him say in between the cries for more that spill out of me. “No one else's.” He slides two fingers at a time inside me, causing me to thrust into the feeling of them sliding between my walls as his tongue continues its electrifying assault. The sounds he’s making are edging me closer.

“Fuck, Nick, I want you, please. I want you on me, in me,” I pant, moaning when his fingers start pumping faster. I grind harder against them, pushing them knuckle deep and coating them with the wetness that only Nick can create in me. “That’s it, love, push that sweet pussy hard against my fingers. Soak my fingers and let me see those juices drip down my wrist just for me.” My thighs are shaking. Nick notices and takes a moment to stop and plant sweet kisses inside of them, biting tenderly at the warm flesh. I can’t hold back my moans. I don’t care if the whole street can hear me. The way Nick is making me feel is worth it. “God, Y/N the way you cry for me is so beautiful. I wanna hear more of it.” His mouth finds my entrance again, and this time he doesn’t hold back. “I want to make you cum for me baby.” I can’t deny the heat spreading under my skin or the fire in my abdomen that I feel. I know I’m close. “Nicky, fuck baby I’m almost there. Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” I beg him, reaching for the back of his head. My fingers find his hair and I tangle them in his messy bun, pushing his face against my cunt and locking his head in place with my thighs. His one hand locks around my calf and squeezes hard while the other one is pumping in and out of me at a merciless rhythm. With my heart racing and my muscles tightening, I grip Nick’s hair and start to moan louder, begging him not to stop as my arousal comes crashing into me, finishing me off on such a high that tears slip from the corners of my eyes and down to my ears. I’m breathless and my head is slightly spinning when Nick stands up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I can’t hold back any longer,” he confesses, undoing his belt and letting his pants and boxers fall to the floor. “I want you… here…right now,” pulling me down a little more and lining his swollen cock with my sex.

“Seeing you between my legs is so fucking hot.” Nicholas raises his eyes to me and grins big, and then without warning, slams himself into me like a savage dog. His lips part, exposing his teeth making the feeling of the ridges on his cock buried deep in me more intoxicating than before. I urge him on, panting and moaning his name along with words barely audible, watching the euphoric expression on his face take over. He throws his head back, holding my legs wrapped tightly around him and continues to pound into me, taking from me everything that makes him feel like a man. “That’s it my love, say my name as I fuck your tight little pussy that holds me just right.” He looks down then lays into me, kissing my lips with so much hunger I almost can’t breathe. Gripping his shoulders, I squeeze, digging my nails into the flesh covered by his black “My Chemical Romance” shirt. “Nicky,” I moan, unable to finish my thought. He picks up his pace, thrusting into me at a frantic pace. My walls are fluttering around his cock as shockwaves grip my body. “Y/N, fuck baby you’ve got me almost there. Keep moaning for me, keep crying,” he growls, throwing his thumb over my clit and circling it as quickly as he can. I cry louder for him as my own climax explodes all around me and it proves to be enough for Nicholas as he quickly shoves the front of my shirt up, pulls out of me and releases his cum all over my stomach, shuttering and moaning out the rest of his orgasm. “Holy fuck, Y/N,” he nervously laughs. He milks himself one last time before  placing a quick kiss on my lips and backs away to pull his pants back up. I lay there feeling utterly spent and out of breath, but feeling completely satisfied. Nick comes over with a towel, wiping up his mess and cleaning me off. Apparently, he put “Lovesong” on repeat because it starts over for a third time. But this time we sit across from each other and listen to the words together.

As we clean up and get ready to go home, we talk about how we’re adding tonight to the box of secret memories that include all the hot and heavy make out sessions in the book store where I work. 

It’s a favorite place of ours. On weekends when I’m not working we get expensive coffee, dive into gothic authors like Poe and Walpole, and listen to The Cure on Nick's old Discman while sharing earbuds. I nestle in close to him with his arm around me and we share a book that I always let him pick out. It makes him happy and that’s all I want; to see Nicholas happy.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------

We intended to spend the rest of our lives together and add more secrets to our box. But soon after Nicholas left with his band for a two month tour things started changing for me. My dad got really sick. So sick that we had to move hours away to be closer to the hospitals that were trying everything to save him. I didn't have a choice in anything that happened and it didn’t seem fair. Nick and I tried all we could to make the long distance and work schedules work, but with his constant touring, the outbreak, and my dad's sickness getting worse, life suddenly came crashing down all around us. It left us both broken, hurting in ways we never thought were possible for us. It ended us. I was the one who chose to walk away first because it was too painful to continue digging into wounds that were trying to heal. Everytime Nicholas left for a tour or to fly out to California, he took a piece of me with him, until eventually, I didn’t even recognize who I was anymore. I was done feeling that way. Our box of secrets eventually got buried, and possibly forgotten about at least for Nicholas. That’s what I always told myself on the days where I longed and ached for him. It was the easiest way to deal with it.  If he didn’t care then why should I? 

Eventually the pain passed and eventually the hurt faded, but I never got over Nick and the fact that I was the one that ultimately ended us. I carried that guilt with me everywhere. Especially with the success of his band. Bad Omens was everywhere and it seemed like no matter where I went I saw all four of their sweet faces or heard Noah’s incredible vocals that I knew he busted his ass to accomplish. He certainly wasn’t the boy in Folio’s garage screaming his head off anymore. 

They had made it and they were living everything they talked about living and wanting during all those late nights I would spend with them in Nick's basement, all of them high or wasted. I was proud to have been there from the very beginning, watching them grow and conquer shit as a band and as individuals. But I was heartbroken to not be there now and often wondered, many times, if any of them still thought about me, especially Nicholas. The words tattooed on my skin with the memory of what happened after were a constant reminder of my stupidity. But I chose to pick up the broken pieces of life anyway and carry on living despite the pain. I had to fight even if it hurt.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“However far away, I will always love you

However long I stay, I will always love you

Whatever words I say, I will always love you

I will always love you”

I moved back a few months ago. With Dad’s death and Mom refusing to leave where his last moments with us were, I decided it was time for me to spread my wings a little. I missed my old home, the town, and the memories, and since it wasn’t too far from Mom, I signed a two year lease on an apartment right down from the old bookstore where I used to work. It closed about a year and a half after I left when the owners passed away. One died right after the other, possibly from a broken heart. The idea that one couldn't live without the other was beautiful, sort of like an “Annabell Lee” kind of thing. I could still hear Nick’s quiet voice when he told me how beautifully morbid my mind was after telling him it was my favorite poem of Poe's. I saw a different look in his eyes that day; the dark green hoodie he was wrapped in bringing out the soft green in his narrow orbs. The way they stared at me felt as if he might’ve been thinking about forever. Maybe he was. Needless to say that afternoon was another memory for our box of secrets.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

Our fingers tangle, weaving in and out of each other’s as I sit between Nicholas’s legs, my head against his chest. There’s a soft silence between us once I finish the poem and gently close the book, laying it down next to me. The only thing we can hear from our small cozy nook tucked away in the back of the bookstore is the soft shuffling of a customer’s feet or the ringing of the doorbell indicating movement coming in or going out. 

Nick places a gentle kiss on the side of my head. “Your mind is morbid, Y/N, but beautiful,” he states, stroking my hair away from my forehead and releasing a light chuckle. I lay my arms to rest on each of his legs that are covered by his favorite pair of black jeans; the ones with the holes in them. They’re my favorite too because they give me access to places only I’m allowed to touch. Massaging his thighs, I slide two fingers through the holes, feeling the warm flesh buried beneath them and I hear a subtle groan slip through his lips. It makes my toes tingle. “I know, I can’t help it. But I think it might be a reason you like me so much,” I say, smiling as I feel his thigh muscles flex then relax and he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “It’s not the only reason I like you so much,” he muses. Nicholas lays his hands over mine as I continue to rub his legs, craving to feel more than just the little spot beneath my fingers. He leans down and runs his moist lips up my neck, leaving traces of small kisses as he goes. I clench between my legs as my core tingles with the familiar feeling I get everytime I’m close to Nick like this. I know he’s trying to work me up just as much as I am him. I close my thighs and the cool wetness of my arousal that soaks my panties rubs against my skin. I moisten my lips and whimper, shifting and purposely pushing hard against Nick's swollen cock. “Shit,” he mumbles, sucking in a light breath through his teeth

I knew where this was going, and as long as we were quiet, we'd get away with it. I remove my fingers from the holes and move them further up his slim legs, closer to where his hardness is pushed against my back. He twitches against me, causing me to giggle and wiggle against him some more. Nick’s breath hitches in his throat. “Two can play this game you know,” he croons, acknowledging my actions while taking a bit of my ear between his teeth and sucking it as I softly cry out. His hands snake around me and one finds the bottom of my throat;  thumb and finger finding the perfect points to quiet me as the rest wrap around the sides, restricting my airwaves. The other one trails over my thigh and dives right into my warm center, gripping it, rubbing it, and shamelessly slides two of its fingers knuckle deep inside me. I want to moan, but Nick tightens his grip on my throat. “Shhhhhh…. You need to be a good girl and stay quiet. If you do, maybe I’ll let you cum on my dick instead of my fingers,” he whispers. My chest rises and falls quickly from the overstimulation of Nick’s fingers that are slowly and mercilessly moving in and out of my wet cunt that’s been hungry for him all day. My choked moans only encourage him to go faster, creating that coiling feeling all over my sensitive bundle of nerves. “Nick, I wanna cum so badly,” I whine weakly as the heart spreads under my skin. But the only thing I hear in return is the panting sounds coming from behind me.

Nick is totally getting off on what he’s doing to me and the thought alone makes me clench around his fingers.  My arousal is at its peak and Nick has managed to build my pleasure up in such a way that I’m about to set a record and cum for him after only a few minutes of his foreplay. But just as the heat begins to pool in my lower back and abdomen, telling me I’m about to, he stops, pulling his fingers out of me, leaving me empty and whimpering for his touch. His grip on my throat loosens and I relax against him. “Fuck, Nick,” I hiss, my body limp in his arms. I hear him chuckle and feel the deep vibration in his chest. “I told you if you were good I’d let you cum on my dick, so get up here,” he insists, lifting me up. Excitedly, I sit up, turning around to face him. The hard bulge between his legs shows me just how well I can satisfy him and I can’t resist the temptation to run the palm of my hand over it applying the right amount of pressure. Nick releases a pleasurable groan and lays his head back against the wall. 

“You sound like you’re hungry for something,  my love,” I whisper through a quaky breath. I can feel those pangs of excitement inside my walls again that are craving Nicholas and everything he can offer me. From the sweet and fun sex, down to the rough and dirty, he knew my body like he knew the chords to his music and he knew what to do and how to work it to his benefit. 

“I’m starving for you to slip me inside you. He is hungry, baby.” he admits, rubbing his crotch, trying to find some release from the friction. The desperation in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed and I suddenly want to give him everything he wants. Brushing the hair out of his eye, I look into his soft eyes and straddle him and start to rub my aching sex against his cock. His hands find my hips, pushing me further into him. 

“God bless woman, if this is what reading a little bit of Poe does to you, then I wanna read  his complete works and fuck you until you’re screaming my name.” Nicholas grips my bottom and pushes me harder against him until I can feel the discomfort penetrating the tender flesh of my clit and making me whimper some more. “It wouldn’t take long, that’s for sure,” I admit, wrapping my arms around his neck. I raise myself up, shoving my breasts closer to his face, and he nuzzles in between them with his nose. Without a word he lifts my shirt and pulls the cup of my bra down, releasing my nipple to the coolness surrounding us. His teeth quickly latch on, nipping and sucking it, making it harder than before, and eventually takes the whole breast in his mouth. I moan and grind on him, praying he doesn’t stop anytime soon. “Fuck me, right now, Y/N,” the tone in his voice filled with desperate urgency.  Nick doesn’t have to repeat himself. I climb off him and undo his pants and help him slide them off and in one quick tug he has mine off. “Wait,” he says before I climb back on top of him. I look down to see a sly look covering his face. “Hand’s on the wall,” he orders, taking my legs and pulling me closer to his face. I grin, licking my lips and closing my eyes as I do as I’m told. I know what I’m about to feel is going to take me over the edge and I hope I can remain quiet. 

“Your pussy is a work of art, Y/N,” Nicholas praises, sliding a finger through my wetness. I suck in a huge breath and bite my lip to stay quiet. “Look how wet you are for me baby. So needy, ready for my cock to disappear into your body and stretch you, ripping you apart until you’re shaking and spilling your juices all over my dick. Fuck, love.” Nick’s words have my legs trembling and it takes all my effort to keep myself up. I quietly moan, throwing my hand over my mouth and biting the inside of my finger to keep from crying out in desperate need for him. “Nick,” I moan against my hand. He slips a finger in me, prodding me, then slides his tongue over my lips, licking up and moistening my pussy with his spit. “Nick, fucking dammit, I can’t,” “Fuck me, Y/N,” he demands, knocking my legs until I collapse in his arms. I grip his cock and bring it to my entrance, sinking down on it until it completely disappears inside me. The pressure fills me, and the fullness of him claiming me is making me desperate to feel more. “Oh my god,” Nick cries into my neck,  grabbing my hips to push and pull me against him. “You like claiming what’s yours, baby,” I ask, pulling up off him until just the tip of his cock is touching my walls. I circle it for a moment before sinking back down on him, watching his expression fade into pure erotic ecstasy. “You know I do,” he answers, breathlessly. Nicholas groans deep in his throat, tightening his grip on my hips until I’m sure he’s leaving bruises. My hands grab his neck as I begin to grind and rock against him, slowly and sweetly at first, but picking up the pace as the climax in both of us continues to grow. “Oh god baby, that’s it. Ride me Y/N. Grind on me until we find that spot that’s going to make you cum for me.” The warmth that’s created by the two of us starts to make us sweat and I cling to Nick as if my life depends on it. I’m in love with him, intoxicated by everything about him.

“You're so beautiful, love,” Nick gushes. I smile and lower my lips to his, hiding a thousand words of love for him, hoping he’ll taste them one by one. “If the universe took you from me I wouldn’t rest until I found you again,” Nicholas whispers in my ear as his teeth graze the outer lobe. I pick up the pace of riding him gently while his lips find the soft flesh of my breasts. He wraps his tongue around them and takes the nipples between his teeth, nipping them gently enough to get the rise out of me he’s looking for. I seethe, bringing my hands to the back of his head to keep him there as I push my overstimulated, soaking wet pussy further onto his throbbing cock; the deep ridges and crevices massage my inner walls as I continuously move back and forth at a faster pace. 

“I think the angels aren’t happy when they look at us,” Nick says, gripping my hair and tugging it back just so he can kiss my neck the way he wants to. He lingers on one spot a little too long, leaving behind his mark of ownership that leaves me beaming with pride. 

I'm too overwhelmed with what's happening between my legs to think about anything else except how good Nick is making me feel and how it's getting harder to suppress the cries dying to escape. I bite my bottom lip and fall into his shoulder. “They don’t get to feel you cum like I do.” He pushes in harder, pushes deeper, hitting that spot that he knows is his alone. “Nick, you’re ma…” I can't finish my thought as a deep cry fills the back of my throat. My body is on fire. The familiar heat is pooling in my lower abdomen and I can feel my climax coming quickly. “I’m what baby,” he purrs, reaching his hand down and using his thumb to apply the right amount of pressure on my clit as he circles it.  I moan a little too loudly, earning Nick’s hand over my mouth. “You want to cum for me?” he growls, clenching his jaw and tightening his grip on my waist. I nod quickly as a single tear slips down my cheek.  Nick removes his hand from my mouth and replaces it with his mouth, his tongue slipping inside mine and claiming every part of it his. “Then cum for me, Y/N. Tell me I’m the only one who has your soul. Not the angels, not the demons; only me.” And I did. I cum so hard on Nicholas leaving ungodly marks on his shoulders that I’m left in tears. Nick kisses the side of my head as I relax into him, breathing heavily as he rests his hands on my back and drags his fingers up and down my skin. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

I wiped the tears that had unknowingly fallen. Those memories of Nicholas were so beautiful to me, yet were the death of me each time I brought them out of their box. I missed him; my soul was slowly dying for him. 

The windows of the old bookstore were boarded up but not the front door. The bell that rang out each time someone walked in or out was still on the front, rusted and out of use. Inside was dark and I could vaguely see dust covering bookshelves that had been left behind just like the memories of Nick. I looked down at my arm, running a finger over the words that were slowly starting to dull, and smiled at the thoughts. Wiping my face, I continued my walk home, pulling my phone out the moment it vibrated. I stopped, frozen in time. There was a text message… from Noah. My hands started shaking and my heart started racing. At first I thought about just deleting it without reading it, but then I realized that wouldn’t be fair to Noah. He didn’t do anything. So I opened the message, never prepared for what I was about to read.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s Noah. I know it’s been like forever since we’ve talked, but I came across your number, at least I hope it's still your number, and thought I would reach out to you and see how things have been. We're planning a trip home to visit some friends and family and it made me think of you. (Yes, some of us still consider you family). Did you ever move back once your dad got better or are you still living at the new place? I hope he’s better too by the way. You’ve been on my mind so much lately. I don’t know why. Maybe it's because Nicholas brought you up for the first time in so long when he played some chords to a Cure song. He seemed to have gone somewhere else while playing it. I think he might’ve been thinking about you. He smiled when he was done, and I swear I saw tears, but then got up and left the room before any of us could ask if he was okay. Anyway, I really hope this is still your number, but if not, well at least I tried. If it is, I hope you'll text me back soon, please 🙏.  

-Noah

“This is a horrible stupid idea,” I sighed, mentally screaming at myself for choosing to do this. After hours of debating and overthinking I replied to Noah's text. He kept his word and texted me a week later when they arrived, giving me the address to the air bnb they were staying. 

So here I was slowly driving down a street I didn’t know, searching for a house that was bigger and prettier than anything I’ve ever been in, and praying I didn’t throw up. 

“Holy shit,” I cried, stopping in front of a white three story country style house surrounded by some large oak trees and a massive porch that wrapped around most of the house. It was beautiful. 

There were other vehicles in the driveway so parking there was out of the question. I took it as a sign I should turn around and leave and was about to when my phone vibrated.

“Park anywhere”

-Noah

“Shit,” I huffed. Wait. Was Noah spying on me? I narrowed my eyes and stared out my windshield, looking for any sign of him and stopping when they rested on his tall lean figure waving at me from a window on the top floor of the house. 

“What the fuck, Sebastian, seriously,” grumbling as I parked the car by the curb. I sat with the engine still running, rubbing my temples in hopes to levitate the pounding headache I had due to stress and my tightly clenched jaw since leaving my house. Coming here was a really bad mistake and I was about to throw the car into drive and leave when a knock on my window startled me, causing me to jump. I looked up and saw Noah, smiling down at me with that same beautiful smile of his. It was contagious. I smiled back and took a deep breath as Noah opened the car door for me. I stood before him, taking in how much he’s changed in four years. “Your hair,” I breathed, surprised at how good short hair really did look good on him. “Yeah, look!” He lowered his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have a neck; who knew!” Noah’s eyes widened and he chuckled at his own joke, making me huff a small laugh, grinning.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe you really came. Come here, give me a hug,” he sang, holding his long arms out to me. I willingly fell into him and wrapped my arms around his waist, taking a deep breath once I laid my head on his chest. “I’ve fucking miss you, Y/N,” he confessed, resting his chin on the top of my head. “Life’s been crazy and so many things have changed, but you’ve never left my heart. I’m so sorry I never stayed in touch like I should have.” “No, don’t do that, Noah. It’s not your fault; it never was. It was never anyone's. Only mine. I made the choice to leave.” Noah pulled me back and looked at me, confused. “What do you mean it was your choice? Nick said he was the one who ended things.” I didn’t have time to respond when a familiar voice from the past came ringing out behind us, swallowing me up in a clenching grip.

My spine tingled, hell my whole body tingled as my heart began to race. My once calm  nerves were now making my hands shake and the tears I promised myself I wouldn’t show started to seep from my eyes as I clenched my teeth, trying to muffle my cry. “Noah, what are you doing? Who are you talking to?” Nicholas’s voice was like rain in a dry desert; the desert being my heart. It quenched every part, bringing every buried memory and feeling back to life again. “You didn’t tell him I was coming?” asking Noah softly. He looked from Nick to me, shaking his head. “Shit,” Noah cursed. “What?” I looked up and turned around, running straight into Nicholas’s chest. “Y/N?” He took my arms, holding me away from him. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him, afraid that if I did I would shatter into a million pieces. “What the hell, Noah, why is Y/N here?” The tone in Nick’s voice made me think he was upset that I had shown up. I cursed myself for coming, for believing that enough time had passed between us. My breathing became erratic and I felt like I might pass out. “Y/N, hey are you good? You okay?” Slowly I shook my head. And then I broke. Like a dam backed up for centuries, the tears and all the pain I’d held in for years came rushing out, causing my knees to grow weak and making them buckle. Nick caught me just in time, slipping his arms underneath mine and pulling me into his chest. He smelled just as good as I remembered, but with more cologne and whatever it was drove my senses wild. I continued to cry and Nick continued to hold me, one arm tightly closed around me and the other caressing the back of my head. 

“Shhhh, love it’s alright. It’s okay.” Hearing my pet name fall from his lips and the sound of  his voice as soothing as before brought to me peace. “Noah, do you want to explain this?” I felt the deep rumble of Nick’s voice against my cheek as it laid against his chest. “No, not really. I think I’m just gonna go back inside. Bring her in when she’s ready, okay. I’ll explain then.” Just like that I found myself alone with the ghost of my past, only it wasn’t really a ghost at all. This time it was the real thing. 

“I don’t understand. What are you doing here, Y/N? How did you know we were here?” Nick didn’t let me go, but continued holding, making me feel the safest I’ve felt since the last time he held me. “I don’t either, Nick. I don’t know what I’m doing here.” I began to briefly explain everything that happened after Noah first reached out to me, never once looking at his face. If I did I would fall apart again.

“So you being here is all Noah's doing?” “Yeah, pretty much.” We were both silent as we stood there in the street holding each other. For a moment it felt like old times. “Hey.” Nick spoke softly, raising my head with a finger under my chin. I closed my eyes, refusing to look at him. “Do you hate me so much that you can’t even look at me?” “I don’t hate you Nick!” I shrieked, flinging my eyes open only to be met by his intensely heavy green orbs. “God, Nick,” I breathed, taking in his appearance, noticing all the little changes of maturity that graced his once younger face. “Four years looks incredible on you.” Nick’s eyes twinkled as they darted between mine. “I could say the same about you. You’re still just as beautiful as the last time I saw you.” His face instantly fell at the mention of that day. I quickly wiggled out of his grasp and took a step back, clearing my throat. Nick continued to gaze at me, but I could no longer keep eye contact. “I try not to think about that day,” I lied, crossing my arms. “Funny,” he said, coming closer to me. “That's all I can think about.” My eyes darted to his. “What?” “You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” Nick scoffed. “I don’t care if you do or don’t. It doesn’t change that it’s the truth.”

My brows drew together, wondering how his confession could be true. “How come you didn’t stop me then? Why didn’t you come for me?” “Would it have changed your mind if I did?” He reached over and touched my face, dragging his calloused fingertips down my cheek. I briefly closed my eyes and took a deep breath, opening them as soon as I released it. “Y/N, your  mind was made up; you made your choice and I  wasn't it. What was I supposed to do?” Even then I could see how badly I’d hurt Nicholas. As soft and sweet as he was, he had somehow managed to harden himself to the cruelness of my choices. But that still didn’t change how the thought of him not fighting for me, for us, cut me like a thousand papercuts. “You could’ve at least tried Nick. My mind wasn’t in the best place then. I wasn’t capable of making the right choice, but I felt like I was forced to otherwise,”. I stopped, realizing Nick wasn’t following what I was trying to say.  “Otherwise what?” “You know what, never mind. Just forget it.” I dropped my arms to my sides and walked to my car, about to open the driver's door. Nick’s large hand came down on the corner of the door, baring it from opening. 

“I’ve never been very good at letting go, Y/N. I didn’t want to let you go. But the moment you came to me with that frightened, confused look in your eyes, I knew you were already gone. You’d already made your mind up about what was best for you and no matter what I said, it felt like you were looking for an excuse to leave. So, I let you.” Nick pressed his body against the back of mine, pinning me between him and the car. I wanted nothing more than to turn around, pull him into me, and kiss him like I was dying and he was the only thing keeping me alive. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. You were my everything, Y/N; you promised to stay with me forever.” Tears were pouring down my cheeks and my shoulders shook as I wept. Nick laid his hands on them squeezing them slightly. “Everyday after you were in my head when you weren't supposed to be, haunting me, reminding me of everything I lost. And the worst part about all of it was I still loved you; I still fucking love you. I still fucking want you like nothing else and I hate myself for it. My life felt empty without you in it, but eventually I had to get used to it.”

I turned around, my lips almost meeting with Nick’s. I wanted him to kiss me in the worst way. I wanted him to grab me and ravage me like a starving animal. “I want to fucking kiss you so badly,” he confessed, as if reading my mind. He placed both hands on the car on either side of my head, leaning in until his lower body was pressed against me. There was no way out of this. I was cornered. “I wanna be inside you again, the only place where I felt love.” I groaned through tears and laid my head back against the car. Nicholas lowered his lips closer to my neck, running his nose along my skin. “I would’ve given anything to taste you again, Y/N, to feel your walls clench around my dick and the way your nails ran over my skin.” I could feel his hardness against my leg and I swallowed hard, trying to keep my composure. “But I couldn’t find you. You walked away and never looked back.” Nick backed up, tapping his fingers on the roof of the car. He stared at me. I saw all the different emotions running through him like the colors of the rainbow, confusing him in the worst way. “I’m so sorry Nick. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just trying to make it hurt less; for both of us.” “Yeah, well you did a pretty bang up job of it. You lied to me. It was so bad I began to wonder if you were lying to me all along since it was so easy for you to give up on us the way you did.”

His words stabbed me in the heart. “Look, I screwed up alright! I know I did.” I shoved Nick away, no longer able to deal with the hurt, the painful reminder of how I destroyed our love. “But I never once lied to you. I’ve done a lot of fucked up shit, Nick, but loving you was different. Loving you made me a better person. You made me a better person.” “Then why the fuck did you give up on us, Y/N! Why were you so quick to throw us away when the first storm hit?” “Because I was fucking scared, Nick! My dad was dying and my entire world was starting to fall apart. I thought that telling you we were over would’ve made walking away easier, but it didn’t. After I left I had hoped you would come for me, that you would fight for me and convince me that we were stronger than the storm, but you didn’t, Nick. You let me walk away and knowing that made me think you didn’t care as much as you said you did. So maybe you were the one lying.” Nick stood there wide-eyed and tense. He didn’t blink, allowing the tears to pool at the bottom of his eyes. “I had to finally come to accept the fact that you didn’t think we were worth fighting for which made these words hurt all the more,” raising my arm to show him the tattoo he marked me with all those years ago. Nick swallowed and finally blinked, letting the tears fall, but quickly brushed them away. He reached out and took my arm, running his thumb over the words. 

“However far away, I will always love you, however long I stay, I will always love you, Whatever words I say, I will always love you,” he read softly. “Yeah,” he hummed. “I guess we both lied then.” The ice in his tone was enough for me to know the truth. Our love was completely dead. Without looking at me again, Nick turned around and walked back towards the house. I could only stand there in shock, wondering what to do next. It was like I couldn’t breathe, the air around me suddenly too heavy for my lungs. “I didn’t mean to ruin your life Nick. I know I made a mistake and I own up to it, but so did you. You fucked it all up just as much as I did. When are you going to accept your part in letting us die? When are you going to admit you were wrong and take some of the blame off my shoulders?” Nick stopped and listened to what I was saying, but then as he continued walking towards the house my heart fell to the bottom of my stomach. I got in my car and left, stopping at the liquor store and buying the biggest bottle of rum they had.  

“Whatever words I say, I will always love. I will always love you.”

The next few days were hard. Feeling like I’d been injected with Novocain, a numbing feeling followed me everywhere I went and I felt comatose, never wanting to wake up and face reality again. The butterflies that had once fluttered and made me feel so in love had died, making the shattering of my heart breaking the loudest quiet ever.

I took a few days off from work, stayed home and did my best to get life together, but it didn’t go over so well at first. But after three straight days of screaming and crying, waking up still drunk, and passing out over the toilet, I managed to wake up sober, take a shower, and clean my apartment. I was on the road to recovery. 

I taped over the words on my arm, hiding the constant reminder of pain I no longer wanted to deal with. Instead of trying to face it anymore, I ran from it, burying it so deeply down inside me and forcing myself to feel indifferent about it. But those words were the last and only thing I had left of Nicholas and no matter how badly they hurt, they needed to stay. I deserved the punishment. 

Five days after my encounter with Nick, I sat down in my living room with my Chinese takeout and a handful of things to watch on Netflix. I chose quickly and snuggled into my blanket with great anticipation over the first bite of food. But before I could take that bite, the buzzer for the outside intercom rang, informing me that someone was looking for me. 

“Who the heck can that be,” mumbling to myself as I got up off the couch, adjusting  my sleepy shorts as I made my way over to the intercom. Completely irritated, I pressed the button. “Hello, can I help you?”... … … … “Hello?”.... … … … “Okay, look, if this is a joke,” “Y/N?” I gasped, throwing my hand over my mouth. “Nick?”.... I did my best to mask the surprised cry in my voice before pressing the button. “Nick, are you still there?”.... …. “Yeah,” he answered, his voice cracking. “Y/N, can I come up?” “Yeah, Yes! Absolutely, I’ll buzz you in.” I hit the button instantly, jumping over to the closest mirror to check my appearance. I looked fucking horrible, but I didn’t have any time to fix my face before there was a soft knock on the apartment door. I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t ready to face Nick again. But I didn’t have a choice. Nervously,  I undid the locked bolt and opened the door, but when my eyes fell upon Nicholas, all of that nervousness faded.

“Holy shit you look beautiful,” Nick exclaimed, a different tone than days before.  The expression on his face was sincere, making my heart flutter, but I’d never felt more uncomfortable as I did standing there in my sleepy shorts, and a rough looking complexion. “You’re crazy,” admonishing him while resting my cheek on the side of the door. “Can I come in?” His green eyes twinkled at me  “Gosh, yeah, sorry,” I apologized, backing up to let him in. I caught the scent of his cologne as he walked by, and it hit my senses like a brick, making my heart beat even faster. “This is a really nice apartment. How long have you been here?” I closed the door, locking it behind me. “Um, about seven months, I think. I moved back about a year after my dad passed.” I crossed my arms over my chest, lowering my eyes away from Nick’s. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” Nick admitted, sympathetically. “Don’t be,” I assured him, shaking my head a little. “How could you?” “I don’t know,” he shrugged, giving me a lopsided grin. “It’s fine Nick, really. He went peacefully. That’s all that matters.” “Still, I should’ve been there.” There was deep regret in his voice. “How did you find out where I live?” I asked, drawing my brows together, narrowing my eyes. “Oh, Noah said you told him. ”Did I? If I did I didn’t remember. Nick looked around the apartment, eyes wandering over everything, but quickly stopped on something familiar on the wall nearest my bedroom.

Carefully making his way over, he stood before some pictures, eyes fixed on the images before him. His mouth twitched and he gave a half-smile. “There are so many,” his voice quivered, showing off just how nervous he really was. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets with his arms locked tight against his sides. “Where did you find them all?” I stood beside him, staring at the wall of my “Annabelle Lee” picture collection. “Some I printed and made myself, others I found online,” answering him sweety. I bit my lip, too apprehensive to tell him about my favorite two. “Y/N, this is awesome. It reminds me of that night in,” turning his head to face me only to find me already staring at him. We were transfixed instantly, staring at each other with the same longing and hunger as that day in the bookstore. He moved a little closer to me, dragging his tongue over his bottom lip before taking it between his teeth.

I clenched my jaw, trying to suppress the sexual tension that was quickly rising inside me. My body knew exactly how to respond to what my eyes were seeing Nick do, as that all too familiar arousal flooded my core and sent all the tingles to my toes. I crinkle my nose, earning a dark chuckle from Nick. I knew then that he knew exactly what he was doing. “Those are my favorite,” I blurted out, trying to distract him from the tension building between us. His eyes quickly shifted elsewhere as he turned to look at where I was pointing, narrowing his eyes to get a better look. “Are those,” he asked, suddenly roused for a different reason, pointing to the frames. I nodded, breathing nervously. “I bought the book before I left. I thought that maybe if I I had it, it would feel like I had some of you with me, and I wanted as much of that feeling as I could get. I still want that feeling.” The last part came out mumbled, and I hoped Nick didn’t hear it as I played nervously with my fingers, too scared to look up at him. After a long silence, Nick cleared his throat. “I know you hated me, Y/N, and I don’t blame you. I had to keep leaving when you needed me to be there to support you, love you through all that was happening with your dad. But it was all out of my hands. I was being pulled in two different directions, and I didn’t know what to do or how to handle it, so I did the best thing I knew how to do; close up and shut down. It wasn’t right; I know that. It wasn’t fair to you.”

I started to cry, feeling dreadfully guilty, and dropped my head in my hands and quietly sobbed until my hands were completely wet. “I didn’t hate you, Nick. I don’t hate you. I love you so freaking much. But loving you was slowly killing me. I did what I had to do to survive and that was to say goodbye even though I didn’t want to,” my voice faded as I finally looked at him. His expression was grave, the past eating away at his mind no doubt. “I never wanted to walk away from you Nick. I never wanted to give us up. Every night and day I was forced to fight my battles without you, pretending I was strong when I was really falling apart. Trying to explain to you what was happening became difficult because what I was going through couldn’t be seen, only felt. All I wanted was your arms. All I wanted was to see you to know that everything was going to be okay. But I couldn’t have that. And then the fucking pandemic hit and, well.” I took a breath, in hopes to calm myself. It felt so good to get it all off my chest, but at the same time I knew I was hurting Nicholas by throwing too much at him.  It was evident on his face.

I took a risk and reached out for his hand, sighing with relief when he took it and entangled his fingers with mine. “I took the easy way out, Nick, I know that. We could have saved us if only I had fought harder. But you want to know the worst part about it all?” Our eyes locked together. Nick clenched down hard, trying his best to keep his emotions closed, but I could see it in his eyes that he was starting to break. “You never came after me, Nick. You never tried to stop me, to convince me I was making the wrong choice. And because you didn’t it was enough to convince me that I wasn’t worth fighting for. That’s what broke me.” 

Nick squeezed his eyes closed, bringing his fingers up to dry them, while still clenching the other ones around mine. It was a death grip that I was so grateful for. 

Nick kept my eyes as he moved in closer until he couldn't resist the madness building up around us anymore. He looked down at me, muttering “fuck it” under his breath while his eyes were are on my lips. He moved so quickly I couldn’t keep track of his actions as his hands closed around my waist, pulling me into him.  The feeling of his thick hardness hot against my aching sex had me screaming inside for him to have his way with me, to do to me whatever he wanted as long as he knew I wanted him forever. And then he kissed me and it was the best kiss ever in my whole life. The way he pressed his hand to my shoulder blade to arch me into him, the way it started slowly, just his mouth on mine and his tongue begging for entrance. We stayed that way for a long time until I looped my arms around his neck. He shifted and shoved me up against the wall, leaning into me and pushing my thighs open to make space for himself until we were flush against each other. Soft whimpers fell from my lips as I absorbed Nicholas like a sponge, wanting absolutely ever part of him. His hard grunts and deep growls of satisfaction over the attention he was receiving was empowering and told me he wanted what was happening just as much as I did.

My heart was beating like a drum against his chest at the feeling of his hand trailing up the skin of my thigh and under the cotton of my sleepy shorts. They gave him the perfect advantage to claim what had been waiting for him the past few years. I moaned, grabbing his wrist before he went all the way. “What?” he asked breathlessly, eyes full of lust. I blinked a few times, making sure this was real, and relaxed the grip on his wrist. “I want what’s mine,” he demanded, voice deep and raspy. He kissed me again, slipping his hand behind my neck and pulling me in to get deeper. Arching my back, I thrusted my sex into the bulge between his legs, feeling the cold wetness of my juices soaking my panties. “I want to feel my fingers between your lips before I sink them so deep into your perfect little cunt that has always belonged to me and hear the way you sigh and let my name spill from your mouth.” Nick’s fingers skimmed my pussy, causing me to gasp and grab the front of his shirt between my clenched fists. His soft perfectly “v” shaped lips trailed up and down my neck as his tattooed touch between my folds made my knees weak and almost give out. “Oh, Nick, please,” I whined, pushing in on his shoulders. He pulled back, his eyes blazed with a fierce hunger. “Please what, Y/N? What do you want, love?”

Placing my hand over his, the one nearest my opening, I kept perfect eye contact with him as I guided his hand to where I desperately needed it to be. “This,” he affirmed, slipping two fingers at a time inside me. I sucked in a deep breath at the feeling, brazenly grinding down on him. “Fuck, Nick!” I cried out as he slowly pushed and pulled in and out of me. “That’s it baby girl, grind on my fingers. I can feel you, uh fuck yeah,” Nick encouraged me, burying his face in my neck. Picking up the pace, he held me tightly up against the wall, breaking apart every barrier I’d put up since the day I said good-bye to him. “Like that? Is that it? Is that the spot, love,” Nick urgently asked the louder I moaned the closer he got to my g-spot. I quickly nodded, furrowing my brows and bit my bottom lip, clasping my hand over his to feel the way he was fucking me with his fingers. “I’m addicted to the way you’ve always gotten wet for me, baby girl, the way I fill you and make you cum for me.” he praised me, pushing in harder and making me moan again. “Fucking hell, Nick,” I cried throwing my head back against the wall. “I want your cum on my fingers, love. I want it to drip down my hand.”

My cries grew louder the closer Nick brought me to my climax. I was a weakened mess for him. “Nick,” “Yeah, baby?” “I’m sorry I walked away. I’m sorry I said goodbye.” Tears seeped from my eyes. Nick slowed his pace inside me to wipe them away. “However far away, I will always love you, however long I stay, I will always love you, whatever words I say, I will always love you,” “I will always love you,” I echoed. He caressed my face and kissed me. “Nick, I need you inside me,” I whispered in his ear, feeling the deep rumble of his approval against my chest. Before I realized it, Nick had me in his arms, carrying me into my room and laying me on the bed. He undid the button on his jeans and unzipped, yanking them off and revealing his hardened cock, dripping with the silkiness of his pre-cum. I groaned in want as he slipped my shorts and panties off. Without a word, Nick spread my legs and positioned himself overtop me, and lined himself with my entrance. He rubbed his tip through the wetness of my folds, and slipped inside me, spreading me open for him. Pushing in and out sweetly but with the kind of aggression that always made me cry his name, I dug my nails into his tanned flesh, gripping his shoulders, holding him close. “Oh god, fucking, Y/N,” Nick groaned, instantly pounding into me at a brutal pace. “You’re still so fucking tight, love.” “There’s been nobody since you.”

He pushed himself up off my chest, looking down into my eyes for clarity. “What? Are you being serious?” I nodded slowly. “I didn’t want to forget your touch, the color in the feeling you always gave me. I wanted to hold on to it forever.” Nick groaned, lowering his forehead to mine. “And it’s okay if you didn’t do the same. I understand,” clarifying that I wasn’t angry. He began to move unhurried, taking his time to stretch open my inner walls and make as much room for him inside as he could. I sighed, moaning loudly at the feeling of having him inside me again. “I don’t fucking deserve you, Y/N,” Nick confessed, thrusting hard into me and grunting loudly. “Yes you do. We deserve each other. You’re the Poe to my Annebelle.” He gave me a wide smile before grabbing my leg and holding it against him, fucking into me in a new position that hit the very spot I’d been craving him to hit. “Right there Nick! Fuck! Don’t stop, baby!” “That’s it, right there? You’re gonna make me fucking cum if you keep screaming like that.” I made no attempt to mask my cries that quickly turned into slight shrills. “Fuck, love, keep crying for me baby girl, I’m almost there.” “Nick, I’m cum….,” I cried as my orgasim hit me like a tidal wave, exploding inside me and making me see stars. Nick shoved my shirt up to my throat before pulling out of me and spilling his seed all over my belly and between my breasts.

“Oh, holy shit,” Nick growled, milking himself until he knew he was empty, before rolling over onto his back. Finding my hand with his and entangling our fingers like he used to do, we laid there for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence. Eventually, Nick cleaned me up, wiping off his mess before scooping me up and tucking me in under the blankets. “You’re staying aren’t you,” I asked sleepily, eyes already closed. I felt the bed dip and Nick's warm body slid into mine. “I’m already here,” he whispered, taking me into his arms. “And I promise I won’t leave. Ever,” kissing my hair. “Me too, Nick. I will always love you.” 

[sempsimps]

Gregory Violet head cannons + NSFW

Season 4 of black butler has me thinking about a certain emo (Gregory not ceil but check out my friend @serve-corps if your into that) but like omfg he's so fine what for and like man wears lipstick I just he's so adorable I've never wanted to own the manga more in my life he's so- I should stop but like aaaaaa so this is head cannons mixed with actual cannon that was on the fandom wiki so that's fun I was thinking of writing a full story later but for now....

this is head cannons, and at the bottom, I'll have a warning for my nsfw thoughts. lol, just remember you're responsible for your Internet consumption, but before i get into this, it's all my opinions. Don't take it as gospel or anything like that, im having fun, alright? okay then.

Little head cannons

-he likes poetry. He gives that vibe like come on...(literally an hour later) Okay, so like, just seen a manga page of him drawing a jabberwocky around ceil like a sleep paralysis demon. a little back story on this particular poem is "a nonsensical poem about the killing of the jabberwocky" in 1871, apparently. this is very relatable to ceil and Gregory alike and like Google it for real (so like I was completely right about that and I didn't even know)

he smells like a mix of charcoal and acrylic paint like dusty but kinda nice, ya know (i go back to this further down)

-why dose he seem like he has autism, i cant explain it but, i have it to, so I'm not trying to be rude, but the bowtie he wears is like a normal tie but looser and nicer. and i hate ties, so i feel that in my soul. he also seems like he wouldn't like synthetic material idfk. also social situations suck, his voice is mostly monotone and quite, its not the typical "not understanding cues or not getting jokes" but its more like a social anxiety thing, and that's usually diagnosed with autism i think? (I'm not a doctor i don't really know. Maybe I'm projecting here a little)

-he's like defo bi or pan or perhaps an ace group. I'm not that educated on that lgbtq+ aspect apologies but that's the vibe (again, that's my opinion)

Dating head cannons male or female [brackets if pointed to someone with tits lol]

-bones. Need I say more? I like bones and rocks soooo be like, otters give him a bone (not like that-) or rocks he strikes me as a rock guy like smooth ones. idk how, but just get one he deserves it.

-painting dates if you struggle, he can easily guide you through it, his hand gently moving to help you use the right brush stroke. he's clearly more skilled in pencil/charcoal works, though we haven't seen much else [that takes skill and I take art like damn that's difficult]

-So apparently the sun and dancing makes him dizzy (it was on the fandom wiki) so definitely have water on hand and well he doesn't seem like the type to like anything plain becuse of the drink mixing so water is a no go to boring and i get that so grab one of those ball tea infusers and make flavoured water he can put the flavours in it like idk lemon slices and let it sit in the water maybe add suger (wait thats just flat lemonade lol whatever I'm a genius ik don't flatter me)

-stolen hoodie? Nah, stollen emo robe looking ass. it seems everyone in purple house has one, and well, yall could swap, or ya know, just wear his. if he has another obvious man is never seen without it, it could be a comfort for him. but like, he seems like he would have a bigger one, and it would smell so nice like charcoal and acrylic paint (that i mentioned earlier). Don't question it, but you can smell that, right? but there's a hint of passion fruit becuse he's trying for you (aw how cute) you can not tell me he doesn't like perfume and like its either passion fruit or cola adjacent like i know it probably wasn't around at the time but like you can see it (maybe i based this on a meme i found but shush)

-you paint each others nails need i say more? and even if you dont like/want to, he would just like to take time off with you to do his own or you do his. oh my god, I just remembered he wears eyeliner the same thing, but he likes you doing it. For some reason, you're better at it, and he doesn't want panda eyes.

-sneaking out at late to hide behind the boarding house, to just chill or chat, looking at the stars. It's a nice area, but yall gotta dodge the house master most of the time. Still, a little thrill never hurt nobody, just maybe given a Y or two if you're caught.

-hiding in your shoulder when the sun or people get too much to deal with. (I feel that so much)

-Gregory is a mix when it comes to pda. Overall, he doesn't like it could be a little overwhelming for him, but when yall with the other prefects, he might hold your hand, he's trying, and we love him for it.

-Gregory seems to observe his friends a lot, and so i think he truly values any relationships he has with anyone. on a whole, he usually draws people that are around him, like ceil, and i think i seen one of Lawrence. (idk i don't have the manga) so i think he would have a lot of sketches of you, be it in his work as doodles, or fully fledge charcoal drawings, maybe even a painting. but he values and enjoys being with you a lot.

-little snacks like fruit and chocolate almost like a picnic in the swan gazebo, but ya know not sharing with everyone unless Gregory wants to, also the fact your with the others in the swan gazebo is becuse, 1 your allowed to be there they've invited others before, 2 you get along with the prefects and drudges and they really don't care, 3 your either his drudge or the first two already applied before hand so you both seen no point in doing that.

okay, so i can't think of anything else wholesome to put down, and i just can't stop thinking, so now this is the warning I REPEAT NSFW BEOYNED THIS POINT!! ALSO HE IS 18-19 ACORDING TO GOOGLE

NSFW head cannons

- some general things, he's a switch or power bottom idk but i can see it so much he prefers you on top, though

-favourite body part would be chest. tits or not [but defo would love them so much like a stress toy] or the space between shoulder and neck, to hide in and bite....(he is a wolf lmao)

-right, so first off lipstick. oh my god... imagining it smeared in places and having prominent marks on your body made by him, like hickeys but removable. and like after he gives head, it would get so messed up on his face or you and just kissing him with it like that, getting some on your lips... (jesus, i need to touch grass)

-he likes art obviously, and well going back to the lipstick and hickeys, he wants to see what colour they turn, your like a brand new canvas just begging to be painted on by him, and honestly vice versa he's too pretty not to mark up..... (no comment)

-this is an all boys school they most likely don't have sex ed here and so you would have to teach him what to do but once he knows it kinda clicks right ya know [another reason i think he would just love titties becuse he wants to learn and i mean like he would get kinda fascinated with them] also he would be really sensitive in general and that's a great advantage to top (but hey you didnt hear that from me 0^0)

okay then that was that and ive run out of ideas now and i need to get this out of me ive got like 2 more things to write about this emo becuse i love and relate to him so much anyway hope that was good i try to be accurate even though this is head cannons and not real at all im still trying to be in character sorry if my writing sucks :)

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

Taylor’s use of 7 is Haylor, including seven: a thesis

Buckle up, friends. Ever since hearing the seven poem aloud on the Eras tour—with its explicit link to Wildest Dreams—it confirmed my long-held suspicion that *seven* is Haylor.

Some data:

- all track 7s post Red seem to be Haylor

- 7 is Harry’s number (added to hers you get 20, hence all the references to 20)

- seven is track 7 on folklore, the album Taylor released on 1D’s 10th anniversary. What? Harry had released Fine Line on her previous bday (#30, Dec 13/19) and she’d missed his Feb 1st day already.

But bestie, you might ask, how is it possible? Let me explain, drawing from details of the song.

We know that Anne and Des Styles divorce when Harry is 7. Anne has primary custody of H and Gemma in Holmes Chapel, but they remain close to Des whom they see on weekends.

But then, there is a period in their lives that no one knows much about and no one speaks about. Even this gem (which I am currently citing) - a 1D origin story has very little.

Harry has another stepdad whose last name is Cox (which was Anne’s name during 1D X factor time). His name was John. They family move to Great Budworth in the Cheshire countryside where Anne is landlady in a pub (and Harry talks fondly of ice cream runs and first girlfriends).

But then when H is around 12, Anne and the kids are back in Holmes Chapel. Anne eventually dates and gets serious with Harry’s beloved, now late stepdad Robin Twist. And Harry sometimes mentions his overwhelming desire to protect his Mom and Gemma at all costs.

No one ever mentions this guy. Ever.

Fast forward a few years to the magical December of 2012. After work commitments, Harry and Taylor spent 4 or 5 days in the north of England. They stay with Anne, and they Christmas bake and go on double dates with Gemma and her then boyfriend, and grocery shop and hang out with his friends. He takes her to the Lakes, where she’s dreamed of going.

It’s her 23rd birthday and be showers her with surprises and 23 thoughtful gifts (she’s not writing The Moment I Knew on his watch!). He gets her food from his childhood fave Chinese place and the bakery where he worked! He is showing her his life. It’s documented here…

Including their visit to a pub in Great Budworth and a drive around the area.

We have no idea what happened, but maybe Taylor does?

Taylor never got to take him to Pine Tree farm in rural PA, as far as we know. But in the depths of the pandemic, when no one could go anywhere, she paints him a picture of her PA childhood.

And in it, we find a fictionalized friend who has a difficult and maybe scary father figure. One from whom Taylor wishes she could save and protect her friend, despite crossing her heart and promising not to tell.

What a gift, to affirm the struggle this child went through, and to show her care and desire to *be with them in it*.

She wanted to scoop him up and take him away from the closet tears to play pirates and “run away to India”. What kid in rural PA wishes to go there? Come on! 😭😭😭

And then, here are the lyrics she pens:

“Passed on like folk songs, the love lasts so long”

“And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on…”

And most significantly - *love you to the moon and to Saturn* 🌙🪐 !!!!!

She wasn’t kidding in Gold Rush - “my mind turns your life into folklore, I can’t bear to dream about you any more.”