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punkscowardschampions · 9 months

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Jali Pt.2

Johnny: [mhmm and he’s as obsessed with her so he’d have been lathering her up to a ridiculous level without her encouragement and we all know with it there’s lowkey a foam party happening rn lol, don’t slip and die kids, except I do imagine her slipping at some point actually and him saving her like the protective daddy vibe he always is and then holding her ridiculously tightly for a minute, nbd, they are just having the greatest time cleaning each other up, nobody talk to me about how long he’d take over washing her hair either because we’ve seen the gifs all these boys go cray over it, absolutely indecent amounts of time being spent on that, you’re gonna have no water left in the tank lads]

Ali: [she is canonically clumsy like, we all remember that time she lowkey broke her ankle bebopping with Carly, know where you get it from Grace, sorry about that one lol, we live chaotic but catch us here feeling like an absolute cliche at the way we’re swooning over that hot move you just did like it was nothing but we cannot be mad when you’re holding us like that; she does have nice hair, tis true and men tend to LOVE long hair even more than lesbians because it’s super femme and all the things so pop off boys, especially this boy right now because we’re blatantly into the attention you’re giving us and are attempting to replicate the vibe on this boy, which is difficult because you are so about it but you wanna make him feel good too]

Johnny: [that was so funny and we need to remember to bring it back when cali are in their flirty era but that’s very much not yet, I’d also like to point out that he’d need to clean this key cos he put it back on her so we’re also making such a point of doing that too because the emotions we cannot verbalise and the way saying ILY is a massive no]

Ali: [oh this key, I’m sure everyone else is wondering why you’re being so quirky wearing this everywhere but we will not be taking it off until we’re in another bad time, the ILY trauma is TOO real and lord knows we’re never gonna say it again, even if our feelings have not changed and we know that]

Johnny: [it’s not even on a long chain you can hide cos it’s his and what boy would wear one lol, mind your business everyone, he’s gotta wrap this girl in a towel like she’s a tiny bub and be using his to dry her hair even though he needs it actually because priorities and the hair obsession continues and this is shamelessly another way to touch it]

Ali: [yet again thinking about how he’ll be a good dad but not going to bring that one up again either, slightly risky, just looking at him like you are a tiny bub honestly the amount of love and awe in your eyes, nbd]

Johnny: [me here like not to Carly’s son you won’t sir, that’s a big yikes and I shan’t be thinking about it rn because he’s giving her the biggest hearteyes back he has ever done and that’s so dangerous for what either of y’all could say, kiss her please and save us temporarily, LAUNCHING himself at her as per because too many feelings he’s gotta kiss her SO hard about]

Ali: [if only you knew babe, but such a thought is not crossing your mind right now because if you were genuinely that psychic, much heartache and drama could be avoided lol soz; be here making out and rolling around on this duvet without a care in the world ‘you’re so good’ as a placeholder for an ILY because he is being nicer than you could ever imagine and what else would be appropriate to say]

Johnny: [telling her ‘I like you’ again like duh that’s why, you know I do I said it earlier sis energy, but really we all know damn well he just wants to say it again in between these kisses, making each pause between each word feel like a thousand years because he can’t stop kissing her and cutting himself off, adding her name as well this time just cos]

Ali: [‘I like you too’ because I don’t think you said anything in return when he said it earlier, for the reasons of the fear and also being too wrapped up in all you were invariably doing at the time he said it so, we’re allowing ourself to, also taking all the time to say it so you can continue to kiss like there’s nothing else in this world you could be doing instead]

Johnny: [y’all do need to get dressed so you can sneak off for this roadtrip but he’s making no move to dress her yet because instead he’s just kissing anywhere and everywhere on her body that he wants to now that there isn’t makeup and fake blood obscuring her and all her cute lil freckles and how soft and baby her skin is its own right ‘not more’ like you may also like me but I like you more though thanks]

Ali: [you’re on your own schedule honeys, obviously you want as much time together as humanly possible but you are also together right now so I understand why you’re not moving, not when you could be literally exploring each other like this, hence we’re doing our little ha we’ll see about that sound as we’re here feeling all the different places you have muscles that other boys y’alls age don’t because they don’t work obviously, holding up his arm and comparing it to yours because you are SO pale, like see all the blue veins type of pale and he is dark and you like the contrast]

Johnny: [she’s looking like a little ghost next to him, we love that, just here tracing said veins and shamelessly tickling this girl for no reason at all except to do it and continuing to have the best time]

Ali: [just here like I shan’t admit you like me more, no matter what you do, sir, very much fighting but not fighting you off at all]

Johnny: [fully being like ‘say you know it’ and things of that nature as they playfight cos shamelessly doing the most to try and get her to in every way obvs ‘I like you more’ in such a breathless and hot way with his already lost voice]

Ali: [really couldn’t be doing more to refuse to say it, pretend locking your lips with this key like no, shan’t but then he sounds like that and you’re nodding hardcore because okay, literally anything you say]

Johnny: [pulling her into him via said key to make the way he’s LOOKING at her even more dramatic because physically say it though thank you ‘tell me you know how liked you are’ in the most daddy manner ever]

Ali: [when the noise you make in response to being pulled into him like this is strangled because of how feral y’all have been and you can’t keep that one in, even with biting your cheeks ‘you really like me’ saying that slowly, almost like you’re making yourself believe it in real time, or don’t want to sound too cocky about it when we’re not]

Johnny: [such a deliberate nod as he continues to pull this key and once again choke this girl a lil bit, standard behaviour by this point because he likes her so much he can’t even talk about it, hence ‘too much’ for the throwback because it’s still how he feels truly, it’s overwhelming and all consuming]

Ali: [insane heart eyes at him whilst being choked to give the anything for you of it all and also just because and ‘more’ as shamelessly, trying to reach his lips with our own, saying his name like PLEASE]

Johnny: [out here kissing this gal like it’s the first time he ever has instead of something he actually did but a moment ago because that !! no notes]

Ali: [kissing him back and pulling him under this duvet with you, like you’re in a tent, because can’t have him getting cold when he’s only properly dried you, also just the vibes of hiding from the world together, smiling at him like a child]

Johnny: [love a lil fort moment and this boy especially would be hiding from the world is exactly what he wants, it’s literally how they started with him loitering away from this party, so he’s buzzing about this, putting his full weight on this girl, STARING at her with the biggest and most blatant hearteyes he’s ever done]

Ali: [I just know my boo worrying about them candles you now can’t see, but they’ve probably burnt out by this point, not that either of you is concerned or thinking about it but you know, won’t let a casual fire start, y’all are okay to be here and living your best lives, just stroking his back and giving him little scratches, kissing the top of his head ‘are you going to have me on your bike again?’ because obviously, that is going to happen numerous times undoubtedly on this impromptu trip but any chance to bring up your first time like REMEMBER WHEN]

Johnny: [you know me so well and guess what ELSE this grandma is worried about, good luck getting your morning after pill when you’re pissing off on this lil roadtrip together and Ali is literally too young to just bowl into a pharmacy, so we’re gonna have to say y’all don’t worry about that either but it ends up being okay, but anyway, this boy is looking at her mermaid nails as one of the few surviving parts of her outfit cos I’m sure the teeth fell off as soon as you guys were making out, amused in that way of it feeling so long ago since the party and like y’all have been in here together forever despite his couple of quick trips out, a NOD because THINKING about it, and unthinkingly doing some of the things he did then, which I’d have to re-read to remember cos I can’t, but you know what I mean and the vibe, purely because he’s thinking about it and therefore reliving it here now]

Ali: [I also had the same thought but we truly are rolling the dice here, which is clearly how you’re living Alison because not saying you planned to have any of the babies you do but you’re just letting fate decide, bold choice but if anyone would, Johnny could TRY to get it ‘cos it’s kinda case by case but they might not give you any because you are not the woman so it’s probably best to say you are just forgetting because the mood we are in; and what a mood it is, giving him full 🥺 at what he’s doing and the memories you are sharing in rn ‘I’d have to die if I hadn’t waited for you’ dramatic but we mean it ‘cos casually can’t think of a better first time for yourself]

Johnny: [We’re not saying it’s right but it how cali are both living from the moment they are sexually active to in Carly’s case her death, and soz that in Ali’s case it tracks and we can again blame Tess because that’s literally also been her exact approach to pregnancy, we love you mcvickers but you’re bad role models across the board lol, and forgetting adds to Johnny’s complete loss of control when he’s around this gal that we’ve talked about before so ‘I’d have killed you if you didn’t wait for me’ him meaning if she was whoring about during this break they’ve been on, despite knowing that isn’t what she meant, just gotta emphasise that and that he’s been keeping tabs again, holding her face in both hands how they do, really staring at her 🥺 ‘but ‘cause you’ve been decent, maybe I’ll let you drive a bit’ as if her expression is cos she wants to]

Ali: [frowning at him whilst he’s holding your face still ‘then I should kill you’ like who slept with someone else, SIR lmao but we’re not FUMING so it’s not full fuck you just like hold on a minute, showing we’re not totally serious here by our expression changing to an excited one ‘I won’t do it via head on collision’ like you can trust me, you don’t need to die that hard]

Johnny: [doing his own more serious frown cos sir you know you fucked up with that and you’re never gonna let it go or get over it fully Taylor vibes, holding her face more !! and making the eye contact insane as always ‘How’ll you do it?’ full okay I’ll let you kill me mood]

Ali: [shaking your head and then resting your face on one of his hands, rubbing your cheek against him like no ‘you missed me for two months, it’s a fitting enough punishment’]

Johnny: [shaking his head like no ‘there’s no fitting enough punishment’ which sounds v dramatic but it’s how he feels, like he can’t possibly ever make this up to her or right the wrong]

Ali: [‘just tell me why you did it’ sitting back up again, enough to properly look him in the eyes and be on the same level, whether you’re sat or lying down in here under this duvet, and a tell me not like a dramatic I WANT THE TRUTH emotional thing, like, just literally explain what you were doing and why and then I’ll get it, because lord knows we forgive a lot, especially if we can understand why a person did what they did]

Johnny: [‘I don’t know’ which would sound like a copout but he means it like genuinely idk what the fuck I was doing or thinking because again how it feels, running a hand through his hair as per but not as frantically as he has on other occasions, just like, here trying to collect his thoughts ‘you took it too far for me’ again another throwback ‘and then I’d nowhere to put myself but further in our way, ‘cause we can’t, I’ve said from the start, told you that, I thought you was with me in it, understanding where the limits are, why they are’ a sigh and another hand in hair moment]

Ali: [just letting you take your time and showing we’re being patient by maintaining eye contact and giving you encouraging looks and head nod vibes but not interrupting or being OTT like GO ON ‘I understand’ when he’s definitely and clearly finished, again, genuinely meaning what you say, no secretly seething vibes or anything of the sort ‘I understand why you did it and where the limits are’ pausing ‘I didn’t think that went over that line but I can see why you thought it did so, I’m not going to say it again’ making a face like obviously, picking at the corner of one of these halloween nails]

Johnny: [reaching out and stopping her picking at these nails by putting his hand over hers casually the softest he’s ever done anything so it’s gonna be enough to stop her purely for that reason ‘sure, you took it too far for me then’ quiet but deliberate emphasis on the word then ‘I can’t say limits I had are same as the ones I’ve got from 2 months missing you’ a pause while he frowns again in that way you do when you’re trying and feeling like you’re failing to say what’s in your head ‘maybe when you legged it off with your pal Carly the line moved, or I pushed it when-’ not being able to say what he did because HATES it ‘or I pushed it’ like a correction and that was the full sentence all along]

Ali: [just looking down at your hands with such casual intensity right now, not being able to look up because of how hard you were looking and now feeling embarrassed by it, paired with where this conversation is ‘I didn’t say we could be together forever, that’s not what I meant when I said what I did’ quietly but again to the point, like you know that now, don’t you ‘doesn’t mean we can’t…’ trailing off because don’t know how to encompass all the feelings you clearly already have for each other ‘miss each other, in the meantime’]

Johnny: [‘I couldn’t handle what you meant’ just blurting that out and then being embarrassed himself because he’s supposed to be a big man who can handle any and everything that’s his entire vibe, doing a bigger and more dramatic hand through hair move about it like ugh ‘all the things we can and can’t do, I don’t reckon I’d be able to tell you which it was fucked me up more’]

Ali: [reaching out and finding his hand in his hair, wherever it is and holding it there with your own, SQUEEZING it like it’s okay ‘I get it now, I’m sorry’ using your joined hands to pull your head towards his to touch foreheads]

Johnny: [doing SUCH a big breath that it’s shaky, soz that it’s once again fully at her because of how close they are, but we love it really because a standard move for this boy at this point, just saying her name with ALL the feeling in the world, more than he’s ever put into it before now because nothing else feels appropriate]

Ali: [holding his head to our chest with both hands in your hair now, giving ultimate comforting vibes, basically a head massage at this point ‘if you like rules then we’ll write our own ones, yeah?’ because would do this for you ‘we can make it make more sense’]

Johnny: [making the most dramatic quiet noise about it because so !! and taken aback by this unexpected comfort and how it feels because when has anyone ever, taking her arm and pressing hard against the vein he traced earlier but not at all in a tickly way rn, running the key along it after his fingers have pressed into her wrist hard enough to leave a mark, as if they are gonna open said vein and write these rules in blood rn because how extra we feel, we can all pretend it’s halloween bants but it is not, doing the most indecent kisses everywhere he can reach on her chest cos don’t wanna move from this position but has gotta kiss her or he’ll die]

Ali: [the GASP being the most genuine one you have ever because feeling as taken aback by how he’s reacting and how much what he is doing is getting to you on the most base level, not stopping massaging his scalp, even if you momentarily had to dig your nails in more than you were when you were being ultra comforting with it, saying his name like a question but not knowing yourself what you’re even asking with it so shaking your head and nudging his mouth towards one of your nips whilst still giving him all this attention like go on]

Johnny: [me like they are never gonna leave for this roadtrip because he will be initiating yet another hook up rn immediately in this position they’re in like that’s what she was asking him for, obvs while doing the absolute most with his mouth on said nip, using the key he was holding against her vein and scratching her with before to play with the other one so they are both getting indecent attention]

Ali: [ain’t even gonna make it to this club my boo says and so true bestie, we’re not thinking about moving in any way that isn’t letting this boy get deeper inside us and closer to our body in general, as if that’s even possible when he is lying on you like this ‘tell me what to do, Johnny’ in reference to these rules but the indecent way it’s coming out now is giving it all the meanings]

Johnny: [‘tell me what you feel’ a dangerous game considering how you reacted last time sir but we get it, what you’re trying to say is that your feelings have changed from when you ran away and you’re gonna let her say it here and now and not freak out, at least in theory or in this moment haha, soz he’s a walking contradiction and this is what he wants tonight sis]

Ali: [when you are SCARED because we all remember last time and how much that hurt, just looking at him like !! because the idea of you leaving again is an actual horrific one now]

Johnny: [giving her the most insane eye contact ever even compared to their usual standards, cos gotta dare/lowkey force her to say it or who is he ‘do you still, or no, girl?’ the way that sounds, so like it’s an actual DEMAND to be told that she can’t possibly refuse]

Ali: [when you have to nod in an equally insane way because we cannot lie ‘but you made me feel like shit for it’ as if you haven’t all but said it with that nod and he couldn’t also just go now based on that]

Johnny: [‘but I’m not no more’ as he’s doing the ABSOLUTE most to make her feel the opposite of shit rn, really going at it in the most intense way possible ‘am I?’]

Ali: [the ‘no’ as a word you can only get out as a moan, pulling his head back into your chest aggressively because the EYE CONTACT combined with everything he’s doing is sending you and you can’t deal]

Johnny: [catch this boy literally scratching a J into her chest with this key and then being all over it with his mouth to make it a massive bruise, no notes, just unhinged behaviour happening]

Ali: [hitting his back with your balled up fists not because you want him to stop but because you want him to keep going and going forever ‘I wish it was a knife’ truly accidentally blurting that one out because control, where?]

Johnny: [me like the ghost of your sister would be loving this for you ‘do you want the other letters?’ he knows the answer, we all do but asking anyway for the pause and the anticipation of it]

Ali: [truly lmao, the ‘please’ is coming out without any hesitation because we’re unable to, even for anticipation’s sake ‘what am I going to wear?’ more to yourself but also just throwing it out there, like we show a lot of skin and some of your name would inevitably be showing if we did now after this]

Johnny: [both unhinged boys with J names, god bless ‘Are you only to wear my clothes?’ looking over to wherever he left them but only for a sec to emphasise the idea like hmm consider that hehe because he has a name to write, all the while fucking her like his life depends on it, especially losing it on the h and the y I feel like, because they are letters you can really add some length to, really fucking her super hard then and when he finishes his entire name and can see it all there like !! I really just did that]

Ali: [we are entirely feral, once again, thank god there’s a party going down for everyone else because nothing about this is discreet currently, trying to reach out and grab your t-shirt or whatever piece of clothing we can get our hands on because we need to absolutely INHALE how you smell, helping muffle some of our ridiculous noises in the process, when he has done it, and you’ve run your fingers over the entire length of his name several times, saying ‘I’ve been yours since I first saw you’ don’t know exactly when that was but is clearly true with how we have been crushing on you]

Johnny: [all bets are off now huns because he will be putting this key in his mouth to clean it, and also to bite down on it when she says that because omg simply must, and then handing it to her so she can write her name on him too ‘so write yours and be mine’ and gesturing where which is near identical to where hers is, ofc]

Ali: [pausing and scouring his body with your eyes, your hands at points like you’re thinking ‘should I do it somewhere else?’ like what if you want to take your top off, CLUTCHING this key how we did in that hookup, letting it dig into our palm again]

Johnny: [‘do as you’re told’ like no there in peak daddy voice because we’re feral at the prospect truly]

Ali: [kissing the shape of your name onto his chest hungrily, licking and biting too as the mood takes, like you’re doing an outline for you to follow with this key ‘I’ll tell you too, when I’ve finished’ LOOKING up at him like I’ll doubly do as I’m told]

Johnny: [here dying about all of that which is evident in how he can’t take his eyes off everything she’s doing cos don’t wanna miss a sec of the antics and how he’s fucking her so hard rn it’ll be almost impossible for her to even write those 3 letters]

Ali: [‘you’re distracting me from my work’ like you’re taking this so seriously and aren’t shamelessly doing the most to grind into how hard he’s fucking you and are lowkey drooling about how good it feels onto his chest rn, taking your time because of how hard it is as well as your name being shorter, going over each letter twice with this key]

Johnny: [when you change it up so you’re going slower to help her, holding her hair back like she needs it out of her way to concentrate etc, but that’s actually more distracting and killing you both more because it’s almost soft of you sir in comparison to how you were just being and the eye contact was already off the charts watching her do this, gonna say he cums when she dots the i because that’s cinematic of you and there’s no way you wouldn’t with how it feels + the change of vibe, pulling out but only so he can aim it at his name on her chest to be the most extra ever, almost like he’s underlining it for her]

Ali: [I feel like you would absolutely go a little too deep dotting that i for him right there because of him cumming, probably making him bleed for real so you have to launch yourself back at his chest to put your mouth on it like no, I am SO sorry, despite the fact you’re dying SO hard at that change of pace yourself and are barely hanging on, you just gotta]

Johnny: [it’s okay girl, we all know he’s into it casual puncture wound and all, in case it wasn’t obvious already by the reaction she’d get verbally and physically, literally dragging her mouth towards his after she’s got that blood and kissing her SO so dramatically about it even though he already cannot breathe because of having just cum very hard and everything]

Ali: [saying your ‘I love you’ directly into his mouth so he’s getting it with the blood that you are drooling into his mouth, picking up his cum from your chest to fuck that into your mouth like you cannot bare to have it not inside you]

Johnny: [‘Jesus, it’s like I’m only just here now first seeing you’ when he can speak which it would be a minute because damn, as a ref to what she said about first seeing him because genuinely feel like she outdoes herself every time and we don’t even know her in the best way]

Ali: [when the breath you do is MASSIVE partly because you’re still recovering and partly because he meant it and he did it, he’s not instantly out the door ‘I look best like this’ covered in your name, covered in your cum, take your pick, we feel it]

Johnny: [‘Yeah’ because cannot disagree soz, touching both his name and his cum because they are that close together and both are a big mood ‘but you’ll look good in what I’ve sent for you to put on’ looking over at the clothes pile again, a bit wistfully despite what he just said cos would love her to just be naked forever]

Ali: [doing a shiver, moving your body further into his hands ‘no clothes past that door’ like that’s the first rule you’re proposing ‘you need to see all of me when you can’t see me all the time’]

Johnny: [holding her and pulling her even closer to him somehow really wrapping his arms around her like that shiver was temperature related and she needs it ‘the law you’re laying down, is it?’ with a lil lol like okay gal]

Ali: [just sitting yourself in his arms shamelessly ‘for me, I can convince you to take your clothes off for me easily without no rule’ bouncing in his lap with a grin like see? Doing your own lol]

Johnny: [doing some more loling like oh you and his own grin back at her ‘oh maybe there is a proper wife in you’ because however much men think they are the boss women are sneaky running the show and that’s almost universal, not this boy basically saying he could marry her though, I’m fine]

Ali: [just carrying on your shameless movements in his lap in this lazy, playful way ‘the only girl you’d do more for is your little one’ like no, that’s who I am and it’s even better ‘trust me, I’m a daddy’s girl’ twisting some of his hair around your finger to emphasize your point]

Johnny: [a noise that’s meant to just be like mhmm confirming her little girl status but is more of a noise because of how she’s moving and what she says next, reaching for the sweet pile and getting her a lollipop from the stash obvs, unwrapping it and putting it into her mouth ‘I can trust I’ll never meet him now’ as he runs his finger over his name again like I have ruined you and he would fight me lol]

Ali: [just doing the absolute most with this lollipop whilst not taking your eyes off his for a second, despite the way you’re casually putting him inside yourself and then just chilling, keeping relatively still and just letting him feel how hot and wet you are, offering him this lollipop to lick ‘you could give him tips on what makes me behave’ shrugging like oh well, that’s a shame]

Johnny: [kissing her like you’re gonna taste the lollipop that way instead, doing the most sucking on her tongue and the like to make that point but we all know you really just gotta cos of how she’s acting and the effect it’s having ‘you’re not to behave this way unless you’re with me’ like no soz I can’t because that’s a rule, no acting feral around or for anyone else thank you, pushing that lollipop back into her mouth in such an extra manner]

Ali: [making such happy noises and putting the lollipop between your tongues so you have to keep kissing this extra to keep it in place whilst you do, doing a pinky promise with both hands ‘a good girl that’s only a whore for you, does sound like a wife’ like hmm, maybe I am, sucking on this lolly contemplatively]

Johnny: [holding both her hands the way they were in one of their earlier hook ups, so tightly and pushing them back so she’s manoeuvred to be pinned to the floor again because big feelings and we have to do a big hot move about it, there’s so much about her being a wife he wants to say rn but simply must not]

Ali: [breathing so erratically whilst being pinned, as if we’re almost fighting back just with the way our chest is heaving and nothing else ‘I have your name’ looking down for a fraction of a second to look at it on our chest]

Johnny: [putting his mouth to said name again cos not letting her hands go rn or lowkey ever with how he feels in this moment ‘the one I can give you’]

Ali: [biting the inside of your own mouth here when his lips make contact with your skin there ‘and you have mine, as well as my virginity’ like yeah, it means something]

Johnny: [‘you’re important to me, nobody can take that or undo it’ no notes, just bearing his soul here]

Ali: [just looking at him, before attempting to reach out and touch his face, realising your hands are pinned like oh ‘come here’ really softly, straining your face very slightly to his]

Johnny: [giving her massive hearteyes as he moves his face closer to hers, stroking her cheek with his own cheek because likewise can’t hold her face without letting go of her hand]

Ali: [the softest yet purest !! noises, nuzzling into him like you’re a cat, giving him all the non-verbal love you can, finding his lips with your own eventually and giving him the deepest kiss, trying to pour all your feelings into this]

Johnny: [‘I meant what I said, you know’ in the tiniest break from the kiss before they are back at it because he doesn’t need to clarify he’s talking about them running away together, she knows]

Ali: [squeezing his hand, however ineffectually with how he may be pinning them because the physical reaction and the noises swallowed by this kiss are not enough]

Johnny: [‘I want you more than anything else I used to or am supposed to be after’ because now he’s started he can’t shut his mouth apparently, excuse him, in between kisses as if that makes it more casual/less coherent when it does nothing of the sort]

Ali: [‘take me, take me away’ in his ear before we’re kissing our way back to your mouth as messily as possible ‘no one else looks after me’]

Johnny: [‘will we not come back tomorrow and instead I’ll keep you all for myself?’ said like that’s happening even though it absolutely cannot because too carried away here]

Ali: [just nodding like absolutely yes ‘I’ll look after you too, you know’]

Johnny: [when a soft hookup is just happening without this boy even really being aware or deliberately initiating it, he’s simply inside her again and kissing her in a way he has yet to before and it’s totally FINE]

Ali: [just the softest moans you are lowkey crying but in a good way, telling him how much you care about him ‘nothing else matters now’]

Johnny: [rubbing his cheek against hers again because she’s crying, kissing her face about it, basically rocking her with how you’re moving for this hookup and holding this girl]

Ali: [just snuggling your face all over and across his without any thought to being this vulnerable and close to him ‘love me’ which could just be fuck me but it’s clearly not]

Johnny: [‘you need it’ said like I will essentially ‘you’re needy as a baby’ just calling her baby here more or less, again totally fine about it]

Ali: [‘because I’m yours’ that only coming out through gritted teeth because you’re barely keeping it together now]

Johnny: [because he’s being so soft about how he’s fucking her for once instead of being feral af and he can, touching her as well, as gently but just that added stimulation when she’s already so dead to give peak yep and I’ll take care of you vibes]

Ali: [just fully coming undone, feeling like you’re actually melting through the floor at this point with how he’s got you with nowhere else to go and feeling as if there is no more you could possibly feel without actually dying from it, nothing cohesive being said but there is ALL the feeling paired with what genuinely feels like delirium like no high you have ever]

Johnny: [with his free hand alternating between stroking her hair/holding her face and touching either his name on her chest or her name on him, either doing soft moans into her mouth/kissing her softly but intensely/saying her name when he touches her or calling her little pet names in his secret lingo of the sort you’d call a little kid so she might or might not have heard on site before from mothers etc, again just giving she’s a baby vibe without calling her one]

Ali: [PRESSING your chest into his, nothing natural or easy about the way you’re purposefully making the names touch, but so insistent despite how barely conscious we are; going to say you do recognise these pet names because you’re a girl who knows and notices things, so the whimpers you’re doing are SO real]

Johnny: [love everything about that, you gotta put your arm around her and pull her even closer and keep her there because those names touching now til the bitter end please, which clearly won’t be long by how !! you both are and I’m sure you’ll both pass out for at least a bit]

Ali: [y’all need to, and you can, you’re only on your own schedule here and actually sleeping together, however briefly and sex induced, is actually another new for you so have it tbh, love that y’all got clean just to end up back in a mess but at least it’s not a Halloween-related mess so you’ll be presentable to leave still when you awake]

Johnny: [I didn’t think of that being a first, how cute, I’m sure you won’t sleep long when the vibe is that this party is still very much going on but I love it for you regardless and yeah you can sneak off for this roadtrip soon which in the dark on halloween night will be a big mood]

Ali: [how your parents are not just constantly having kittens over you, girl, we know how but they’re gonna have to start lmao, you fully intending to run away with this boy right now, nbd]

Johnny: [obvs they think she’s at Carly’s but if y’all paid even the slightest bit of attention you’d know that if true that wouldn’t be good either cos the girl god love her, and I do, is a bad influence and it’s not a good environment, and mhmm what’s actually happening is Tess’ worst nightmare, unprotected sex and literally running off with this boy, the only reason they’re coming back is because he has a job and you best believe he won’t be rocking up until the last minute aka the monday AM for this]

Ali: [mhmm, that part, like your parents lowkey vet out your friend’s family situations when you’re a child so you aren’t going off to crack dens for playdates, like that’s just what it is but it’s just that awkward line of like, not wanting to tell your kid they can’t be friends with another kid because it isn’t their fault and that’s judgy but still lads, this is only continuing and getting ‘worse’ lack of a better word so]

Johnny: [We get it, Tess was that kid with the shitty home life who nobody wanted to play with so she doesn’t wanna be a judgy cunt but ma’am you’ve taken it too far the other way and simply aren’t giving enough fucks, joeray should have been a wake up call huns, Ray is literally dead and Joe is committed, re-group and focus on your remaining kids but alas, it’s not your fault Rocky is a toddler and Ro is a full time job cos she’s starving herself but still, come on, you had these children you gotta parent them]

Ali: [It is a mess and the knock-on effects last for generations to come, sorry to report but for right now, wake up babies, places to be, intense vibes to be had, I know we’re here STARING at you in a way that is only acceptable when you are cute/the person loves you]

Johnny: [I was literally gonna say the same, that she woke up to find him STARING at her lol, but no I like it better this way because the idea that you relaxed enough sir to pass out and stay asleep for however long is peak unlike him and only a jali occurrence vibes, nevertheless you can open your eyes and STARE back at her for a minute before you grab these clothes and start dressing this gal]

Ali: [s’why I got in there before you hehe, we can both be extra in this ship sweetie, don’t even think about how adorable she’d look in his clothes, except it’s unavoidable for you, sir, we’ll be here hugging ourselves ‘cos it’s like hugging you]

Johnny: [when you’ve literally gotta physically push her out of the door because you can’t deal with how adorable she looks and if you do one of your LINGERING look her up and down style looks you will simply die, very rude of you after how soft you were being but I get it, even if I know damn well you’ll almost immediately relent and LAUNCH yourself at her how you do to make out with her against the side of this old caravan or however far they manage to get, pulling at said clothes like he’s mad at her and them, which is very reminiscent of the first time when he hated her Ronan’s bday outfit and outside the hospital when he was mad at her and his feelings for her so, it tracks]

Ali: [understandable, lord knows you literally haven’t moved from that caravan since you got there god knows how long ago and you ended up all over each other basically every second possible so, not expecting you to get out and away that smoothly; are however tugging these clothes back and making a grumpy noise like they’re now yours and he isn’t allowed them back, as if that’s what this is, pouting into this kiss]

Johnny: [playing a dangerous game having a fight about it out in the open where anyone could come wandering up but it’s unlikely with the party in full swing and I’m gonna let y’all live cos I do want y’all to eventually leave instead of being discovered thanks, there’s plenty of time for someone to find out when we want him to have another freak out and that’s not rn, we’re busy being here making a grumpier noise because genuinely so mad at her for how good she looks, GLARING at her whenever he’s not kissing her]

Ali: [another day baby, another day, y’all are playing fast and loose tonight and regretting nothing is very much the vibe so you can get away with it all, meanwhile I will let you do the backing away from walk backwards from him so you can LOOK at him whilst you do it, all without falling over, before turning to run to wherever you know his bike is kept because you helped him with it that time]

Johnny: [she absolutely has to, it’s one of my fave cliches of all time, you should let her go ahead for the sake of being cautious boy but tonight you will be running to catch her up instead because as my boo said it’s very much tonight’s vibe, so you can end up there at basically the same time, him literally catching her in this sense, grabbing her and pulling her into his arms, both of them breathless and once again for that throwback basically falling against this bike, but we won’t let it fall this time, even though he is once again kissing her very dramatically, unable to stop himself from grinning into it because they are about to leave and that’s all he wants]

Ali: [you don’t wanna chance having to do some quick repairs by torchlight when all you want do is get out of here together and have your adventure, still, yet again kissing you like there is nowhere else to be but in your arms like this, doing a laugh into this makeout because we’re just that buzzing and in love and having the best time, using how he is holding you to push yourself up and onto this bike like come on, let’s go, excitable vibes; ps thinking if we wanna just let y’all bebop and have a lovely time away because there’s no real reason for yous to be disturbed, we could do other peeps now again like her telling Carly where she’s going, Ronan probably asking where she is etc, and Tommy if you would like to try because can also tell him]

Johnny: [I was thinking the same thing because we should let them just have a nice time while it lasts cos there’s no telling with y’all and we know therefore what the vibes will be, so I’d say probably post this so it’s all together and then we can decide what we wanna have branch off from it, also if you wanna do any socials for the mood without giving the game away who she’s with, go ahead because I’m sure you have some nice Ali stuff in your folder already and could find more if you wanted to]

Ali: [Ooh, I’ll have to see if I can fosho, posting this now]

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bbgem329 · 2 years

Text

If Only You Were Mine… Chapter Seven

Pairings—Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary

You’ve been in love with Bucky Barnes since the moment you laid eyes on him. That was five years ago, when your older sister brought him home for a Sunday lunch and introduced him as her boyfriend.

Warnings

MINORS DNI. 18++. Angst. Language. Emotionally abusive family. Violence. Readers sister is psycho. Protective Bucky. Steve to the rescue.

Series Masterlist

—————

Bucky was moving before his mind could catch up. Heavy steps shuffling in the direction you’d fled on their own accord, the little velvet box clutched tightly in his trembling hand.

Completely oblivious to Carly’s bewildered gaze as her dark eyes flickered between him and the place you’d previously stood. If he would’ve paid even the slightest bit of attention, he wouldn’t have missed the moment it clicked—a dark, sinister look crossing over her features as the cognizance washed avidly through her.

Maybe then he’d realize just how consequential his little slip had been and the problems that would soon arise from it.

Bucky knew better than to let his emotions get the best of him—having it engraved and programmed into his brain by his father from a very young age.

“A good CEO never lets his emotions run rampant and free, James.” George Barnes scolded, hands pressing heavily on his son’s shoulders.

Eleven year old Bucky swallowed thickly, head bowed and swollen eyes averted under his father’s heedful gaze. He didn’t understand how this had anything to do with his spat with Becca. She’d broken his favorite Batman action figure, he had every right to be openly upset. After all, he’d spent three months saving up his own money to purchase it the very day it was released. He hadn’t even owned it for three whole days before Becca accidentally snapped in half when she stole it to pretend he was Barbie's boyfriend.

“You would do well to learn to keep your emotions in check, play your cards close to your chest so as to not show weakness.” The older man leaned forward, voice low and foreboding as he wiped the dried tears from Bucky’s cheeks, “If you don’t, they will tear you apart.”

But when it came to you, he tended to lose his head. Any and all sensible thought vanishes at the mere sight of you. The only thing on his mind right now was you and the sentiments of raw heartbreak and betrayal on your pretty face.

He’d done that to you.

Beautiful, sweet, loving you.

The woman he loved most in this dark, dirty world. And he had ripped your pure, precious heart right out of your chest and crushed it between his bare palms with little to no effort—as if breaking your heart didn’t concomitantly break his too.

“No.” A hand landed forcefully on his chest, pushing him back and halting him in his tracks.

Bucky’s eyes snapped down, lips curling up in a baleful snarl. Entirely too ready to give whoever was hindering him from reaching you, a real piece of his mind.

“Barnes.” Natasha grit out, eyes flashing and expression stoically fierce. She pressed on his chest harder, though her strength did little to move his much larger mass. “Don’t you dare fucking do this right now.”

“Move.” He growled, his nostrils flaring with each heave of his chest.

She didn’t miss the tick in his jaw or the way his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. He was struggling to maintain his composure. He’d never hurt her, she knew that, but if anyone else were to get in his way—keep him from you, there’s no telling what he’d do.

“You fucked up.” She hissed, nails biting harshly into his chest through the white dress shirt. An attempt to ground him, snap him back to reality, and open his eyes. “You just fucking gave yourself away.”

Bucky hissed at the pain, brows furrowed as he took a half a step back. Her words were going in one ear and out the other, mind stuck in a one-track way.

Get to you. Get to you. Get to you.

You. You. You.

Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.

“Fucking look around.” Natasha spat, voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes were wide and wild as they flashed anxiously around the now silent room.

The evident fear in her blue hues caused Bucky to freeze. The fogginess cleared swiftly from his mind only to be replaced by an abrupt awareness as he came to his senses.

One glance around the room and his heart dropped, the breath leaving his lungs as bile churned in his gut and burned up his throat.

Everyone was watching.

The weight of what he’d just done hit him like a runaway train. Not only had he just given his own true feelings away, something he’d spent five long years hiding and suppressing, but yours too.

He had unintentionally exposed his one true weakness to a room full of hundreds of hungry wolves, enemies eager to get the upper hand on everything Bucky and the Barnes owned.

But worst of all, he’d revealed the nature of your relationship to the worst of them all. Three specific people who were watching and waiting—looking for even the smallest of reasons to finally put an end to you.

And he’d just handed them one on a shiny, silver platter.

Bucky swallowed thickly, eyes landing on Carly, standing exactly where he’d left her in the midst of the room. Always one for a good show, he expected her to be angry, filled with complete and utter rage or at the very least, attempting to feign some form of heartache or betrayal.

But what he found sent dread spiraling through his veins and the weight of her gaze made it impossible to catch his breath.

He scanned the length of her, from the bottom of the neon pink tulle of her gown to the painfully tight ballerina bun on the top of her head. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, accentuating the breast her father paid big money for last year, shoulders squared, and chin lifted confidently, daringly.

It wasn’t her posture that left him unsettled, but the sly, knowing smirk painted across her full pink lips and the eager twinkle in her dark eyes.

Carly knew and she was exhilarated over it.

As if this new bit of information was exactly what she’d waited on for her entire life. The perfect birthday gift—the best she could’ve asked for.

She looked beyond smug, entirely too pleased.

Bucky knew her well enough to figure out exactly what was ticking through her head.

She was going to ruin you.

And in the process, destroy him.

“I fucked up.” He whispered, more so to himself. There were far too many negative emotions reeling through him to pinpoint just one. He felt trapped under the hundreds of watchful, perplexed gazes, exposed raw for everyone to see and he briefly wondered if they could clearly distinguish the turmoil bubbling from within, on his face. “I-”

“Barnes.” Natasha hissed, tugging desperately on the back of his suit jacket.

“I need to go.” He mumbled, shaking his head. He couldn’t hear anything but the rapid beating of his heart pounding throughout his ears as he turned away from Carly and in the direction of the door you’d disappeared through just a few minutes before.

He ignored several calls of his name, brushing off a few tugs on the sleeves of his jacket as he pushed through the crowd.

There was no rectifying this mistake. It was far too late now. Everyone in this room had been given a front row seat to witness the catalyst of Bucky’s demise. They were now very much aware that your relationship wasn’t as friendly and platonic as it once seemed, that the perfect couple image that Carly had worked so hard to portray was a complete facade.

But it wasn’t about that.

Bucky had just poured an obscene amount of gasoline and threw a lit match on an already unsteady bridge. Whatever truce or agreement his father had made with Y/F/N was over—burnt up in flames and crumpling to ashes.

He let the ring box slip from his fingers, landing with a light thud on the floor just before he slipped through the door and into the hallway.

He didn’t like the ring anyways. You wouldn’t have either. It was far too extravagant and flashy for both of your tastes. He knew you’d prefer something much smaller, simpler.

Carly had picked it out and simply sent it to him with the receipt. He’d found it on a pile of files on his office desk when he’d arrived at work two days ago. There was a letter from Y/F/N tucked neatly in the bag, asking—no, ordering him to propose at Carly’s birthday party with vivid instructions on how exactly she expected him to do it.

Bucky burst through the double doors, startling the two guards as he hurried down the steps and onto the front walkway. He picked up the pace when he heard numerous pairs of rushed feet gaining on him.

“Buck.” Steve called out, an unfamiliar shakiness in his voice. It was far off from the confidence and strength Bucky was used to when listening to his best friend speak and it only served as a validation that he’d royally screwed up tonight. “Buck, stop.”

Bucky made it past the iron gates, out onto the barren street, his feet already carrying him in the direction of your apartment before a strong hand latched around his left bicep and pulled him back.

“Get off me.” He growled, stumbling forward as he attempted to yank himself from Steve’s grip. He wasn’t at all above throwing fists with his friend, not right now while he clearly wasn’t thinking rationally.

All that mattered to him now was you—making sure that you were safe.

And if anyone dared to get in his way, one more time, he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to bloody his knuckles.

No matter who they were or what they meant to him.

Steve snarled, teeth clenching and face hardened as he grasped the lapels of Bucky’s jacket and hauled him back to his feet, steadying him. “You need to listen to me. And listen carefully,” He loosened his hold on his jacket, hands pressed firmly to his shoulders, forcing him to stay put and look him in the eye. “We need to regroup. Whatever truce, the deal your father made with the Y/L/N is over. He’s fucking pissed. Your parents left the second shit started to go down and we need to meet them at the Manor right now-”

“No.” Bucky hissed, blue eyes dark and gaze heavy, his chest heaved as the possibilities of what your family might have in store for you whirled through the forefront of his mind. He had to get to you before they did. “I need to get to Y/N-”

“You can’t.” Steve snapped, the harshness in his tone took Bucky aback, mouth opening and closing like a fish. The blonde's features softened significantly, regret pooling in his blue eyes, “I’ll go get her, okay? She’s not safe but neither are you. We all need to get back, regroup, and figure out our next steps.”

“Okay.” Bucky spoke up after a moment. He nodded, bottom lip trapped between his teeth, though the hesitation, reluctance was clear on his flushed face.

“Sam will take you back. He’s pulling the car around with Wanda and Nat.” As if right on cue, a dark SUV pulled to a slow stop beside them, the driver's side window rolled down to reveal Sam. “I’ll go right now, get Y/N and Becca.”

Bucky turned back to Steve, eyes narrowed into mere slits as he trekked around the front of the car.

“Safely.” The blonde added, arms crossed over his chest and chin held high. “I promise.”

He only managed a single nod, inhaling a shaky breath before heaving himself up into the SUV and slipping into the passenger's seat. He didn’t say a word, eyes trained on the dimly lit road ahead as Sam put the car in drive and the car lurched forward when he slammed on the gas.

—————

“What are you doing?” Becca asked, an underlying panic in her voice as she trailed after you like a lost puppy on your rush around the room, throwing the clothes from your closet onto your bed. “Where are you going?”

“I can’t be here anymore, Becs.” You breathed out, tears rolling steadily down your cheeks. No matter how hard you tried to stop them, they just kept coming. The sight of Bucky proposing to your sister playing on a constant loop in your mind. If you thought shit hurt before it was nothing compared to what you felt now. “It hurts too fucking bad.”

You didn’t even bother to fold anything, shoving whatever you could into the three suitcases on the end of your bed. The one and only gift you ever kept from your parents, a blush pink, hard side luggage set. It would finally be put to use after sitting in the back of your closet for two years. You were only packing the necessities, whatever was left behind could be shipped to wherever you ended up.

California, Colorado, or Texas?

Or maybe you’d go even further, finally take a trip to explore all of Europe like Bucky and you had always talked about before settling down.

Fleeing the country, just might be the best and only solution in this specific case.

“He doesn’t love her, Y/N. I know he doesn’t.” Becca declared, slumping against the wall, arms wrapping protectively around herself as she helplessly watched you cry and pack your life away in a frenzy. “Something is going on. Something is not right.”

Rebecca had never seen you in such a state. It had her blood running cold and raw ache blooming in her own chest. She knew she couldn’t let you walk out that door.

If you did, she knew she wouldn’t ever see you again.

And if her suspicions were correct about the strange occurrences with your physical health, Bucky and the Barnes family would be losing a lot more than a lover and a friend.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. He made his bed, now he must lie in it.” You signed, wiping furiously at your cheeks as you trekked to the bathroom to gather any indispensable toiletries. “My family doesn’t care about me. Neither does Bucky—at least not enough. There is nothing here for me right now. It’s like-” You paused, gnawing on your bottom lip as you considered your next words, “It’s suffocating. I can’t breathe freely anymore. I can’t be here—in this city with them.” You sniffled softly, head turned down in attempts to hide your tears and flushed face.

Pointless, you knew, you’d been nonstop crying from the moment she’d dragged you up from the polished floor after heaving up your guts in the potted plant.

You were exhausted.

You were over feeling weak and pathetic.

Done with thinking you actually deserve what you were given.

Through letting the people who were meant to love you, make you feel like just another nuisance—like you were nothing more than a piece of chewed gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe.

You wanted to feel appreciated, cherished.

You mattered and it was about damn time you started acting like it.

For once in your life, you would do something for yourself—put you, your mental health, and happiness first.

“I need a fresh start. I need to grow.” You straightened up, turning to face her fully. Heart clenching painfully in your chest when you noticed the tremble in her pouty bottom lip and tears shining in her big cerulean eyes. “I can’t do that if I’m here.”

“You can’t go.” Becca whimpered, barreling forward and into your arms. You didn’t hesitate to embrace her—arms wound over her shoulders, and your tear stained face pressed to her tousled curls as her own buried into the crook of your neck. “You just can’t.”

“Well, this is cute.”

Your head snapped up at the sound of the all too familiar shrill voice. Heart plummeting and stomach rolling as you caught sight of the poofy pink tulle blocking up most of the bedroom doorway.

“Carly.” You swallowed, struggling to keep your tone and sentiments neutral. You wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing you upset.

Not now—not ever.

“Shouldn’t you be celebrating?” You asked blankly, arms crossed over your chest as she stepped further into the room. There was something sinister in her expression and the way her dark eyes were studying you. It left unease bubbling up from deep within and you found yourself subtly pushing Becca behind you. “Congratulations, by the way.”

Carly laughed mirthlessly. The cruel, high pitched tone left you internally cringing and your grip tightening on Becca’s trembling wrist.

“I should be, yes.” Carly stated, perfectly polished fingernail scraping along the top of your dresser, casting a sideways glance at the suitcases on your bed. There was no hurry in her steps—casually, tauntingly making her way closer to you, like a shark circling its prey. “But you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?

“What-” You swallowed thickly, breath catching in your throat, “What are you talking about?”

“You always did want what I had.” She shook her head, a soft sigh falling from her plush lips.

“Carly.”

“Mother and father didn’t love you, so what? You just thought you’d seek love from somewhere else?” She edged closer, an ominous smirk on her lips and an unsettling, mischievous twinkle in her eye. “From what was mine?”

“I don’t know-”

“Oh, cut the bullshit.” She snapped loudly, chest heaving and a cold glare settled across her perfectly painted features.

All your life you’d never truly feared Carly. Always considered her to be nothing more than another harmless, bratty, mean girl. But gazing at her now—finding nothing but pure hate swirling in her dark brown orbs and the utter disgust in her tone, left you scared for your life.

Perhaps you didn’t know her at all, not really anyways.

And for a split second you found yourself questioning just how far she’d go to make sure she got exactly what she wanted.

“Carly, I don’t know what you think-”

A shriek emitted throughout the room, echoing loudly off the walls and before you had time to react, you were slammed into the ground, head thumping roughly against the hardwood floor. There wasn’t a second to consider the pain radiating throughout the back of your skull before a pair of hands wrapped tightly around your throat and a solid weight dropped square on your chest.

“You ruin everything.” Carly hissed, face hovering mere inches from your own, spit landing on your cheeks and forehead with each and every venom laced word. There was more, but you couldn’t hear over the buzzing in your ears.

Your entire mind on one thing and one thing only.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Your arms flailed helplessly from where they were pinned beneath her knees, legs kicking and hips bucking in an attempt to wiggle yourself free.

“I’ll kill you.” Your eyes bulged as her grip tightened around your throat, nails biting harshly into the smooth skin on your neck. “I’ll fucking kill you.”

Your lungs burned with the need to breathe, through the insistent ringing in your ears you could faintly hear Becca screaming and you briefly wondered why she wasn’t trying to help you, save you.

If she didn’t, Carly would surely succeed.

Your sister—your very own flesh and blood, was going to kill you.

You were going to die and Carly’s snarling, disdainful face would be the last thing you see.

No exploration of Europe. No more laughing with your friends or dances with Rosalind. No more beautiful moments to capture or pictures to take.

No more Bucky.

You had no choice but to give in, accept defeat, and let go.

So you did.

You felt your body slacken, falling pliant beneath her weight and clenched grasp, vision tunneling in and out of focus.

This was it.

You thought as your muscles involuntarily jolted, spasmed, and struggled with the desperation for air, eyes rolling back into your head, and face flushed beet red.

But then it all just stopped.

The weight vanished from your chest, her hands slipped from around your throat.

You inhaled sharply as the air returned quickly to your burning lungs, your hands flying to cover your aching neck, chest heaving as you gasped, gulped, and coughed. Your mind felt fuzzy and muddled due to the lack of oxygen to your brain.

A familiar face appeared in your line of vision, sharp features, short blonde hair, and concerned blue eyes hovering frantically over you.

You couldn’t help but cry, large tears streaming down your flushed face, relieved beyond belief to see Steve. You croaked out his name, though you’re sure it came out as more of a choked groan. He cupped your cheeks in his large hands, tilting your head from side to side and running his fingers down your neck, examining you and the finger marks Carly surely left behind. His lips were moving a mile a minute but you couldn’t hear nor make out exactly what he was saying.

It didn’t matter though.

Steve had saved you.

You could breathe again. You were safe.

You relaxed back into the cool floor beneath you and gave into the exhaustion you had fought just moments before, allowing your eyes to flutter shut and darkness to engulf you.

—————

Tag list

@scxrletrecsmarvel @cjand10 @sarahrstephan @ladifreakingda @vicmc624 @hazeljean2 @capmanranger @gitasor @intothesoul @silentkiller2374 @justsebstan @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @mini-kunoichi @jessyballet @coffeebooksandfandom @sergntbarnes @glitterydeputyshepherdwagon @stumbleonmywords @whore-for-bucky

@one-shot-plus-size @hawsx3 @justifymyfeelings @fanfictionjunkie1112

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes

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hockeyboysimagines · 3 years

Text

All good boys go to Heaven, but bad boys bring Heaven to you.

Chapter 7

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, alcohol, angst, and general inappropriateness. It’s Matthew.

So I’m writing this while watching CGY v WPG and Matthew and Pld just had some words and a lil shoving match and ohmygod I almost combusted🥵🥵🥵

The problem with two stubborn people is that it takes ages to get anything accomplished or resolved. Neither Matt nor Hallie was going to budge, leaving Noah and Carly in an awkward position. Noah had picked up Matt’s possessions from Hallies apartment the day after the fight and she hadn’t seen him since. Almost a week ago.

She knew he was just trying to protect her, but she couldn’t have him running around punching people either.

He on the other hand was mad as hell. There he was, trying to be a good boyfriend and defend her and she kicked him out? He was sitting on his bed, arms crossed like they were everyday stewing about it.

He’d talked with his mom, Noah, Johnny and everyone just about who was there and they all said that while his reaction was warranted, it wasn’t the best way to approach the situation.

She had been so damn angry with him, but mostly she just felt stupid for letting him get caught up in her past, when she was always blaming everything on his. She gave a sigh and rolled out of bed, heading for the shower. She had a lot to do today and as much as wanted to lay in bed and sulk, there was more important things to do.

As she let the water hit her, she realized how long it really had been since she was by herself in her apartment. Even before Matty had moved in temporarily, he had been a frequent visitor and once he lived there, she often took showers accompanied by him. She missed him, his voice, his presence. Everything about him. That stupid smile he’d get when he stepped under the water with her, or the way his wet curls stuck to his forehead and neck. Or how his kissing was never innocent and always turned into something more. She sadly shampooed her hair, eyes closed.

********

Fuck did he miss Hallie. Even though he was mad still, he realized that all those years of sleeping alone could never compare to waking up next to her. He had woke up that morning arms wrapped around a pillow, forgetting for a minute that she wasn’t in bed with him. She woke him every morning, nails scratching at his scalp as she ran her fingers through his hair. She’d kiss her way up his neck, and then pull him in for a heated kiss that always turned into something else.

He missed the sex. It had all been so meaningless to him at one point, but things with Hallie were so different. It had a meaning, a purpose, and for the first time he felt like he had a connection that went beyond sex.

He was falling in love with her.

And that scared him.

He couldn’t sit around anymore. Noah gave him a small smile as he exited his room looking for his keys.

“Hey buddy. You okay?”

“I’m gonna get out of here. Meet up with some of the guys. You wanna come?”

Noah shook his head “ Carly is coming over in a bit. But call us if you need a ride home yeah?”

“Sure.”

Noah watched sadly as he left, door closing behind him. He felt so bad. He wasn’t the same anymore, and it sucked. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Just a situation that got out of hand.

He was interrupted by his phone ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe it’s me. Is Chucky home?”

“No he just left. Why what’s up?”

“Hallie wanted to come with me to pick up her stuff and then I’ll drop her back at her apartment if that’s okay?”

“Sure. Just let me know when your on your way.”

“Will do. Love you.”

“Love you too.” He stood and stretched and walked to Matt’s room to locate any and all items Hallie had left there. Hallie’s things were neatly folded on the chair in the corner of his bedroom. Noah sighed and left the room shaking his head. It was about an hour later that Noah got the “On the way.” Text from Carly. It was about a 30 minute drive to his apartment. He settled into the sofa relaxing, completely unaware of what was about to happen.

********

He felt her eyes on him before she even came over.

“Hi Allie.”

She was smiling at him, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

“No girlfriend tonight?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend….anymore.” He mumbled, downing the rest of his drink. His thoughts were getting hazy, but the image of the last time he saw Hallie was even hazier so he kept drinking to try and get rid of her.

“Oh I know. I haven’t seen you around.” She let one of her hands slide on to his arm, and scooted closer to him.

“Allie-“

“Shhhhh. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t trying to forget about her. Just let me help you.”

********

“Jesus Christ it’s cold.” Carly complained as she cranked the heat in the car and gave a shudder.

“Well we do live in Canada so.”

“Yeah Canada not the North fucking Pole.”

“He’s not here right?”

“No. Noah said he left a while ago. I really think you should talk to him though Hal. You’ll feel so much better.”

“I will. I’m just not ready yet.”

As they pulled into the parking lot and got out, they hurried inside and up to the boys apartment. Carly let herself in, and Noah glanced up from the tv giving them both a smile.

“Hey Hal. Long time no see.” He stood to give her a hug as Carly excused herself to use the bathroom.

“So. How is he?”

Noah frowned and shrugged “He misses you. Feels like he fucked everything up.”

“It wasn’t completely his fault.”

“I think you should tell him that.”

“I’ll talk to him. Just not tonight. But I promise I will.”

Noah brightened and gave her shoulder a squeeze and a shake “Let me go grab your stuff.”

Carly returned a moment after he left “Gosh I had to pee so bad. Did you get your things?”

“Noah has them.” She said pointing over her shoulder as Noah came down the hall. Just as he went to hand them to her they were all startled by the commotion of the front door banging open loudly. Matt stumbled inside, Allie in tow. Their hands were all over each other as caught himself on the wall, Allie letting out a giggle. He reached around her to shut the front door, and realized there was three people in the room staring at him. To his horror he came face to face with Hallie standing in his living room, eyes on fire.

Her face was red and then paled, her heart falling into her stomach. She was so mad she knew tears were coming and blinked them away shaking her head. She would not cry over him again. Not in front of this girl. She was the same girl who had come between them before, the first time he kissed her. Guess she had been right about Matthew Tkachuk all along.

“Hal?” He said pushing away from Allie. He was so happy to see her, both of her, and he took a step forward nearly stumbling. “What-what are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving.”

She brushed past him out the door, Carly following close behind roughly bumping into Allie. Hallie hurried to the car when she heard footsteps behind her and a hand on her wrist.

“Where are you going?” Matt’s eyes slid in an out of focus, and he stumbled when she tried to pull away from him. He was way too close to her, and if he hadn’t been drunk and just stumbled in with another girl, his presence would be intoxicating. But right now he was just making her sick.

“Get your fucking hands off me. I’m going home.”

“What’s wrong- Are you mad?” He looked confused, cheeks flushed, slightly hunched over as she tried to pull away again.

“No I’m not. I don’t care what you do with your free time Matthew. Have fun with your Bar slut.”

He let out a frustrated growl “FUCK!” He looked so angry, and so hurt, but she didn’t care.

“What do you fucking want from me? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! You broke my fucking heart, you broke up with me. I’m just trying to get through everyday. To get my mind off of you for one fucking night!”

“Then don’t let me stop you.” She pulled her wrist out of his grasp and took a step backwards towards her car.

“You think I want this?” He said gesturing around. Noah was a few steps behind him, eyes moving between them and Carly and Allie was some feet behind Noah, looking smug.

“I don’t want this. I don’t want that!” He pointed at Allie behind him, and the smug look on her face faltered. “I’m just so fucked up Hallie I don’t know what to do.”

He reached for her arm again but Carly shot forward and gave him a great shove causing him to stumble. She took three steps again, and reared her hand back before she slapped him across the face. Hard. The sound echoing into the night. She had never seen Carly so angry in all the time she’d known her. After a few moments Matthew reached up to touch the spot she slapped him, before his eyes moved back to her.

“You should be ashamed of yourself Matthew. She doesn’t deserve this and you don’t deserve her!” She screamed the last part hand coming back to slap him again but Noah intercepted her.

“Carly. CARLY STOP!”

Are you? Are you defending him?” She looked dumbfounded as he let go of her and she shoved away from him.

“He’s just trying-to get over all this.” He said waving his hands around “He just wants to get over it. We’re making a huge scene can we just take this inside.”

Her eyes narrowed and her expression became so severe he took a step back. She looked at him and then Matt, the Allie and then said, very calmly “Well if that’s all he’s trying to do, then why dont you try bringing some SLUT home and see if you can get over being single too.” She gave Noah a shove and turned pushing Hallie towards the car. No one stopped them as the pulled out of the parking lot and made it down the road. Hallie peeked in the mirror and saw Noah and Matthew standing watching them leave.

They both went to bed with tears in their eyes.

********

Jay shook his head and patted Hallies knee. She looked awful, having barely slept. He had come over the following morning after a late night text from Carly that he would be needed.

He had brought breakfast and tissues and listened dutifully nodding and adding in comments when appropriate. He had even thrown his hands over his mouth and gasped when they told him about how Matt had showed up with Allie.

“He didn’t.”

“He did.”

Jay shook his head and let them finish the story before he spoke again, choosing his words carefully.

“Don’t crucify me here, because I’m in no way on Team Tkachuk, but it sounds like he’s really hurting. He loved you Hal, I know it’s hard to believe right now but we all know it. And while breaking up with him was the right thing to do, I know it wasn’t easy for you...but has anyone ever thought that maybe it wasn’t easy for him either?”

“I know I hurt him. I just never through the would move on so fast.”

“Hal he’s not moving on.”

“Jay he brought a girl-“

“Carly please. That’s a a bandaid, a distraction. He doesn’t have feelings for her. He doesn’t want to replace Hallie. He just is dealing with it the only way he knows how.”

He was right. Chantal Tkachuk had once told her that he felt things too deeply and she had never really thought about how he felt about the whole thing. She spent the remainder of the day letting tears fall, until she fell into an uneasy sleep. Her phone, which was setting on the counter kept buzzing until Carly finally picked it up. She had 37 missed calls and 12 texts from Matty, all of them unanswered.

“Hello?”

“Carly. Put her on the phone please?”

“Matty.” He heard her sigh and her voice lowered an octave.

“Matty you can’t...you can’t talk to her right now. Your killing her.”

Her words cut him like a knife to the heart, and realized that he was hurting Hallie as much as he was hurting himself.

“Carly can you just-can you just tell her I love her. Please?” He sounded choked and desperate.

“I can try. Goodbye Matty.”

He stared at the phone for a while before a blinding rage came over him and he threw it against the wall, watching as the pieces scattered across his bedroom floor. As fast as he got her, he lost her, and he had messed this up just like everything else.

#matt tkachuk #matthew tkachuk #calgary flames #noah hanifin #nhl blurb #nhl writing #nhl series #nhl x reader #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl players #hockeyblr #hockey fanfiction #hockey blurbs #hockey imagine #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey tumblr

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stallingdemons · 4 years

Text

Four-Legged Protector

Who: Chris Evans & Dodger What: Chris explaining how protective Dodger has become since [Y/N] got pregnant. A/N: Can I just say that this particular imagine has been the most annoying thing ever. I have tried to post this several times after revising and it’s failed. If you’re reading this then that means it finally fucking worked.

“Dodger definitely knew before we did.” Chris nodded as a picture of Dodger got blown up for the crowd to see. “He started acting a bit strange, a little more clingy than usual. Now, he isn’t too clingy, not too over the top but, eh, well, you know he’s there.” Chris laughed as a video clip of Dodger trying to use his niece as a seat. “So, I was gone for a few days in LA. Had some contracts to go over and what not. And, Dodger, he, uh, well, he was all about [Y/N]. Which isn’t too out of the ordinary. He has adapted to the change over the last few years and has found out that [Y/N] is just as good as I am when it comes to being his best bud. But, uh, anyway, he just wouldn’t allow her to be in a different room. And you know, usually he’d just go off and do his own thing. Chew on a toy or go nap somewhere, you know, normal dog stuff. But not those few days. Nope.” Chris quirked a brow and smirked as he pressed his lips together, “Well there was an incident at my sisters. [Y/N] decided to spend the few days I was gone with Carly and the kids. Not uncommon. [Y/N] visits my family quite often when I’m gone from home, we all live so close together. But yeah so they put up the baby gate to keep the kids out of the kitchen while they cooked dinner and Dodger...Dodger just tore it down. I mean, he ripped the gate right out the wall. I’m talking those metal ones. The ones you screw into the wall. Know the ones I’m talking about?” Chris nodded as the crowed nodded, “Yup, took it straight out. He was acting so bizarre. And all he wanted was to just lay at [Y/N]’s feet. He just wanted to be right by her. He was fine once he got to where he wanted to be.

So [Y/N] took him to the vet the next day to see if anything was wrong and they sent him home with a clean bill of health. It was crazy. So we kind of thought, huh, well maybe he’s just missing me? We weren’t really sure, you know? This is really the first time I had been gone and he’d be with just [Y/N]. Usually, if I was going to be gone shooting a movie or something I’d take him with me because [Y/N] would have obligations too. Very rarely would Shanna and Carly have to watch him. Every now and then. But uh, yeah, things didn’t change when I got home and I really got to witness the anxiety Dodger had if he wasn’t near [Y/N]. It was kind of concerning but the vet said there was nothing wrong with him.”

“When did you find out the reason for his protectiveness?”

Chris laughs, “Well, uh, ha, it definitely took us a lot longer than we like to admit. The day we figured it out just so happened to be the day that [Y/N] couldn’t keep anything down. She was so sick. Everything made her nauseous. Things kind of clicked when she described her symptoms being like morning sickness. We both kind of stared at each other, laughed, and then went out and got a pregnancy test. It came out positive and then things with Dodger just kind of made sense after that. He’s been very protective since day one.”

A clip of a Dodger resting his head on [Y/N] came up for everyone to see. In the clip, you can see Chris’s hand reaching over to rub her swollen belly. Dodger’s lip curl slightly and a deep whine comes from his throat as he inches forward to cover the rest of her belly from Chris’s hand. Chris laughs in the clip and says, “Come on Bubba, it’s just me.” Dodger lifts his head, his lips curling forward again. [Y/N] is heard chuckling as her hand pats his head and she says, “It’s okay, Dodger.” It’s after the confirmation, that Chris is able to place his hand on her stomach without Dodger getting defensive.

The crowd cheers and Chris nods, smiling. “I’m not worried one bit when we bring the baby home. He’s already taken that role of protector. Forget me. I’m not going to be able to do shit with him around.”

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slut4supersoldiers · 3 years

Text

REMEMBER THAT (pt.2)

Chris Evans X Reader Words: 1k+ Summary: This time it's Chris who needs saving. Warnings: Anxiety, description of a mild anxiety attack Stress, insecurities, self doubt, foul language maybe A/n: This can be read as a part 2 to ‘as long as you need’. I am thinking of turning this into a series ☺️ I have had one of the absolute trashy days in a while and I needed another indulgent fic but I decided to put a twist on it. Sorry if this sucks. Sending love and hugs to anyone who needs it. If you suffer from anxiety or the likes of it I hope you get all the help and love you need. You deserve it ❤️

(e/n): ex name

Y/n couldn’t remember exactly when she fell for Chris. Maybe it was the first time she met him. That day she remembered very clearly.

Upon Scott’s insistence (y/n) travelled to Boston from LA where she was staying with Scott. She met Scott through work and both soon became inseparable. She knew how close Scott was to his family mostly because he never gave up talking about how much he missed them. So it didn’t come as a surprise to her when her friend kept bouncing on the seat with anticipation throughout the flight.

After a seven hours journey and multiple flight movies later they had arrived at Lisa Evans’ home in Boston. She was just as warm and amicable as (y/n) had imagined. The absence of ruth and 100 watt smile was something you were sure she passed down to her kids.

As expected the the house was filled with accquitances and family. Laughter and endless conversations were flowing. Hours passed and (y/n) felt like she had shaken more hands and hugged more people than she was usually used to. By the end of the day as much as she hated to admit it she had forgotten most of the names of Scott’s friends’ and extended family and all their stories began sounding much the same. She didn’t remember a lot but she remembered him. She remembered Chris.

An unsuspecting Scott was suddenly tackled by a larger man as the two of them stood by Shana and Carly. She heard the laughter before she saw his face.

“Chris stop it. Get off me you jerk!” Scott tried to push his brother away who had now held the younger man in a headlock.

“You’ve gone weak Scott. Need to work out more instead of being lazy.” Chris said through his laugh. Beside (y/n) the sisters both shook their heads and walked away as if understanding that their request of asking their brothers to act like mature adults would only fall on deaf ears.

“Well not all of us are Captain America.” Scott broke free from his brother's onslaught and shoved him jokingly. This made Chris laugh harder and she remembered looking at him in that moment. Like really looking at him!

His head thrown back, a hand on his pec. His eyes covered with glasses and a cap with a big B on the front. As much as she wouldn’t admit it to anyone (y/n) also remembered ogling at the way his shirt seemed to hug his muscles almost as if it could tear with any more movement. She also remembered a voice in her head silently praying for that to happen.

Scott talked about his brother quite often. He had once asked (y/n) if she’d be open to dating him. At that she had choked on her coffee and almost given poor Scott a fright. After that he momentarily stopped his match making gambit. And the reason behind that was that Chris was taken or “it’s some on again off again thing” according to Scott. But right before they arrived in Boston, Scott had commented “they’re done for good and he is better off without her”, when (y/n) had asked if Chris would be there too. And better off he was!

(y/n) remembered Scott introducing them. She remembered Scott’s poor attempt at setting the two of them up. She remembered calling the younger man out for his lack of skills at playing Cupid and she definitely remembered a boisterous laugh leaving Chris’ incredibly inviting lips. She remembered feeling proud that yes! She made Chris Evans laugh. However, she failed to remember protecting her own heart from falling for Chris.

(Y/n) was fairly certain she developed feelings for Chris that day. Or maybe it was when he told her he’d like to get to know her better at the end of the day. Or maybe it was when he travelled to New York on her birthday in the middle of the night because she had casually mentioned she didn’t want to be alone on that day. Or maybe it was how caring, patient and perceptive he was. He always took care of her. In the short time they spent together he soon became a confidante, a pillar and a shoulder to lean on on her darkest days.

So when he stood in front of her right now with red rimmed eyes and a tear stained face she didn't know what to do. The roles were reversed and she could only stare at him.

As if sensing her uncertainty Chris said softly, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Christopher. Come in!” she opened the door wider letting him enter. He made a beeline to the couch and held the yellow throw pillow closer to his chest. He looked so small and so broken. She was scared to reach out and touch him worried she would break him with the slightest touch.

“I am sorry.” His hoarse voice broke her out of her rivière.

“What are you sorry for?” (y/n) took the chance and reached out to him. He didn't move. She didn't pull back.

“I am sorry I came over unannounced.” He sniffled, wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve.

“Christopher you never have to apologize to me. I am always here for you, remember that!” Chris smiled a little. Whenever (y/n) called him ‘Christopher’ it made him smile. Or maybe it was just being with her that made him happier. But right now even her hand over his couldn't take the weight off his shoulders. A sob suddenly raked through his body as he felt the wave of melancholy wash over him again. (y/n) was taken aback as Chris slouched further, his head now on her lap. She rubbed his back hoping to make the broken man feel better.

“Christopher, bub you have to talk to me.” she shifted a little so he could lie down more comfortably.

“(e/n) called me last night.” Chris said in a low voice.

(Y/n) straightened up a little bit. Before he could even say anything else (y/n) had already began plotting ways to murder her. How could she hurt him? How could she hurt the man (y/n) loved...as a friend obviously!

“What did she say?” (y/n) looked at Chris who was now sitting up. His cheeks were wet with tears and all (y/n) wanted was to grab his face and plant small kisses all over his face till he felt better.

“She...uh...she said i would regret breaking up with her and that no one would want to be with me because i am getting older and no one will put up with me and i will crawl back to her.” By the time he was done he had moved away from (y/n) and if that wasn't indication enough the redness spreading across his ears and cheeks told her how embarrassed he was. He had curled up on the other end of the sofa, his breathing labored, hands wriggling together. In the time that they had been friends, (y/n) had learnt to read his body language a bit. She knew he was about to have an attack.

In an instant she was kneeling in front of him.

“Okay listen to me. Everything that she said was wrong. It's all lies. She is trying to get in your head and mess with you. Christopher, you're a wonderful man. You are so kind, you're loving. You're incredibly talented and hard working. You are giving and you love so completely and so deeply and any woman in this world would be lucky to be with you.” (y/n) held his hand in hers.

“You’re a good man in a bad situation. This isn’t your fault. You have a good heart. And I promise you that this feeling of despair is fleeting. It will go away and till that time comes I am here. I am not going anywhere and we can move through this together.” Had it not been for her words that left him tongue tied or his erratic heart beats that stopped him from thinking Chris wouldve told (y/n) how much he loved her in that moment. But for now he settled for a soft smile. (Y/n) mirrored it.

As he breathing evened out he slid down to the floor to sit in front of (y/n). He leaned closer and so did (y/n). Their foreheads now touching. Eyes downcast. Fingers brushing just shy from completely intertwining. Heart beating in a synced rhythm like a sweet symphony. She didn't look up and neither did he afraid that their eyes might speak the words they were hesitant to.

(y/n) couldn’t remember when she fell for Chris but she knew that with every passing day she was only falling deeper...

#chris evans #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers one shot #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut #chris evans one shot #chris evans x reader #steve rogers x reader #ransom thrombey x reader #ransom x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom x you #marvel

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aggravatetheaxe · 3 years

Note

Can I have some Nick x bo thoughts? 🥺🥺 I’m intrigued

Okay I decided to just throw spaghetti for this one, so it's in the form of a chaotic bullet point list

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS THOUGHTS ABOUT NICK/BO:

i feel like there'd be little to no chance of him living without carly also being alive; if anyone was going to appeal to bo's little shreds of humanity - his sense of family - it would be a girl begging for her twin brother's life

also i just like carly so what would be the point if she wasn't there?

it would have to be rather earlier in the movie. like, there is no going back from the point they're at in the final battle, you know? no amount of begging would assuage bo and vincent from murdering them at that point

on the other hand, seeing how resilient carly and nick are is a big turning point in the movie. it's super important for not just the viewers but all the characters to see how well they work in tandem. i wouldn't want to take that away from them

so maybe the best of both worlds would be if carly and nick decided to turn the tables on the boys after they shoot bo and he passes out in the theater?

like what if when he passed out, they tied him up and used him to lure vincent, and there was some kind of tense bargaining situation?

or, ooh ooh ooh, what if: so bo has carly down in his dungeon and nick can't get her out, so instead he captures one of the sinclair brothers and that's the trade off? carly's life for bo's or whatever?

then carly and nick aren't in a position where they can leave ambrose, but the brothers aren't necessarily in a position to kill them either

idk neither of those are perfect scenarios, but suspend disbelief with me

this would be Slow Burn. HELLA Slow Burn enemies to lovers. which i love, so

bo would hate nick on principle because he's the one bastard they couldn't take down, and he's just some fucking guy from florida. plus he's a cocky asshole who has a problem with authority, and though bo kens that, it also drives him FUCKING INSANE when he is the authority figure

nick would hate bo because, well, it's obvious: bo killed some of his closest friends, including dalton, who nick may or may not have had romantic tension with; and wade, his sister's boyfriend. to say nothing of the fact that bo hunted, kidnapped, and tied up his sister with the intention of torturing her later

who would break first? i think bo would. bo's hatred of nick is the principle of the thing, an almost puerile anger that he was outsmarted; nick's hatred of bo is deeply personal

but! that would give bo some time to come to terms with being bisexual. nick doesn't need as much time to come to terms with that, so by the time they hooked up, they'd be on more or less the same page with everything

would it start out as hate sex? almost certainly. they're both so fucking frustrated they feel this way. it might even happen on accident tbh

bo would be completely oblivious to the fact that nick was kind of with dalton/had romantic tension with him. nick would have to be like "??? dude. that was basically my boyfriend what the fuck"

does bo feel remorse for killing people? no, not usually. does he eventually come to feel remorse for killing these particular people? well... yes and no. if he hadn't, he'd never have met nick. but it's a real pain in the ass for your boyfriend and his sister to hate you for killing all their friends, when someone else's friends woulda done just as well

god they butt heads so much. they're both have an extreme aversion to authority, though i would argue nick's is a little more combative. nick doesn't care what punishment he gets - he sees himself as above punishment, uncontrollable - while bo has been taught to fear punishment and has a strong sense of "respect." it is possible to make bo bend under your authority; i don't think it's possible to do it to nick, at least not in the same way

Florida Man. that's all i have to say on that

despite butting heads though, they also have a hell of a lot in common. they were both considered the "evil twin" at ages when they literally couldn't help themselves and needed help, love, and compassion. now they've grown to be men who genuinely do bad things because of the preconceived notions and perceptions of others

the difference between them, though, is that bo comes off as a nice guy but he's actually a MONSTER. nick comes off as a huge creep and a punk, he does shitty things to make himself seem hard and cool, but inside he's a good person. they're foils of each other and that's always sexy

their foil is all about redemption and presentation vs action but maybe i'm projecting

they are foils though so they have some core things in common: strong love for their family, specifically their respective twins; dedication and steadfastness; perseverance in the face of death; quick wit and cleverness, fast thinking; finally, a tendency to say mean things that they either regret later or don't actually mean, in an attempt to protect themselves from being vulnerable

i don't know if these two would ever be truly happy with one another - it would be a tumultuous relationship for sure - but they would understand each other in a lot of ways

and most importantly? bo might realize that, after everything he went through in his life, he made the choice to be a serial killer and torturer. things could have been different

whether or not anything would actually change, i'm not sure, but he MIGHT realize how deep a hole he truly dug himself

but he's too far in now, nothing to do about it, ya know?

if more people came through ambrose, nick and carly would be right there trying to help them escape. come hell or high water, no matter the consequences, they would try to help, even if they could never truly escape themselves

nick would bargain, beg, and steal to earn carly the right to go see their parents (or any other privilege). she should be allowed to be free even if he's not. he's very self sacrificing

okay so that was very chaotic but i hope you enjoyed some of my Thoughts!

#nick jones #bo sinclair #headcanon #nick jones x bo sinclair #bo sinclair x nick jones #house of wax 2005 #house of wax

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noladyme · 2 years

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Spencer Reid: Pretty Ugly - part 3

TW: liberal use of incorrect legal terms and titles, fluff, blood, violence, death, slooooow burn. I've poured a little of myself into this one. so am quite vulnerable about it. Be kind ;-)

Annabel Leigh joins the BAU on her first case. Thrown straight in to her role as unit assistant, she struggles to keep focused when she has to work closely with the Scarecrow to her Dorothy; Spencer Reid.

Set in season 9

The room beyond the two-way mirror facing the interrogation-room was dimly lit, to not give away who was watching. I went to stand by the back wall anyway, feeling creeped out by lurking on the monster sitting waiting on the other side of the wall.

Hotchner stood with his arms crossed in the middle of the room. He looked back at me; something like a smile on his lips. “The make-up… That was your own touch”, he said. “He said women should wear less make-up. He doesn’t get to tell me what to do”, I replied. “You were provoking him…”, Hotchner said. “Good idea”. Morgan and Spencer walked closer to the window. “He’s too calm. He doesn’t think we can hold him”, Spencer said. “And he hasn’t lawyered up”, Morgan said.

JJ entered the room with Blake. “I don’t know. I just think a little lift, right around my neck…”, Blake said, her voice sounding mechanical in the tiny speaker connected to the room. “And these bags under my eyes. Sheesh…”. “I get where you’re coming from. After a full year of breast-feeding, I seriously considered a lift to the ladies”, JJ said. Hoffmann’s eyes flickered between the two agents. “Do you think you could help us with that, Dr. Hoffmann?”, Blake asked. “Do some of your magic on us?”. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about”, the dentist replied.

“Why isn’t he protesting being here? If he wanted us to think he’s not guilty, he’d be yelling and screaming; proclaiming his innocence”, Morgan said. “You’re right. He doesn’t think we have anything on him”, Spencer said. I took a step closer to the three agents, to get a better look. “Well, we don’t have anything solid”, Hotchner said.

“Oh?”, JJ said, and began spreading out pictures of the victims before their operations, on the table. Hoffmann gave them a short look, and I could swear I saw his pupils dilate. “Why are you showing me these?”, he asked. “Right, sorry. I guess you recognize them better like this”, Blake said, and spread out two other pictures; these ones depicting the dead victims post-op. “Aren’t you missing one?”, Hoffmann said. “You have three pictures there, but only two here…”, he added. His mouth was slightly opened, and he licked his lips.

“He’s getting off on them…”, I said. “Take them away from him”. “We need to push him. He might make a mistake, and accidentally say something we can use”, Morgan said. “But you’re using the victims at their most vulnerable state!”, I said. Spencer gave me a short look, almost apologetically. “They’re dead”, Hotchner said. “And if we have to let that monster back on the streets, he might kill someone else. We have to protect any possible future victims”. “Well, who will protect Carly and Karen?”, I growled. Spencer took a step backwards to stand next to me. “Annabel, Hotch is right. Karen and Carly are both dead. We can’t do anything for them, except for one thing. Take down their killer”. He turned his face, and looked down at me; clearly seeing my frustrated expression. I was boiling with rage inside. “I know this method seems cold; but I honestly think both women would want to be a part of putting Hoffmann in prison, whatever it takes”. I swallowed thickly, and nodded. He was right, after all. Had it been me, I would want to help too. It just irked me that the victims had no say in what was happening.

“Well, Hanna survived”, JJ said from the other side of the mirror. “But you knew that. I should almost say congratulations. You finally managed to get one of your patients to make it through surgery”. “I’m a dentist”, Hoffmann enthused. “The closest thing I get to surgery, is pulling out wisdom-teeth… But good for her. That other agent told me she got a new set of breasts”. His smile was strangely proud, and I swallowed bile. “Oh the real surgeon took those out”, Blake said. “She’ll probably need more surgery, though. Might want to see if the doctors can fix the damage you did”. “Maybe even get a set that matches”, JJ said. Hoffmann clenched his jaw, looking almost disgusted. “Well, good for her…”, he grunted. “Are we done here? I told you, I have nothing to do with this; and I actually have somewhere to be”. “At this time of night? Where?”, Blake asked. “You don’t have a family to go home to; your wife left you”. Hoffmann scoffed audibly. “Even the reporters outside realized you’re woth not wasting time on”, Blake continued. “That’s because you wouldn’t give them a statement!”, Hoffmann said. “Well, do you want to give them one? Tell them what we took you in for?”, JJ asked. “You could have your face on the morning news, as a suspect. I don’t know what it would do to your business, though”. “Alright, I’m done”, Hoffmann growled. He looked down at his watch, and swallowed thickly. “You have nothing on me, and my appointment can’t wait…”. “You still didn’t tell us where you’re going”, Blake said. “Because it’s none of your business”, the dentist said.

“If he gets up now, we can’t stop him”, Hotchner said. “We could have him tailed”, Morgan said. “Make sure he doesn’t go after someone else… Of course, that isn’t a permanent solution”. “No, it’s not”, Hotchner agreed. There was an urgency to both of the agents’ tones. We were running out of time.

Hoffmann got up to stand. “We’re done here. I have things to do”. He looked at his watch again.

“He’s right” Morgan said. “We have nothing concrete to hold him on; he has nothing to worry about”. “He should be focused on those pictures. The payoff from his work”, Hotchner said. “Why isn’t he relishing in his results?”. “Well, Blake did just tell him that his last victim had the implants removed”, Spencer said. “His work was destroyed”. “I don’t think that’s it”, Hotchner said. “He reacted provoked, yes; but he didn’t get up, until they told him he had nowhere to go… we need to figure out where he might have held his victims”.

He dug out his phone, and called up Penelope; putting her on speaker. “Garcia, we need all information of properties registered to John Hoffmann”, he said. “Uhm… John Hoffmann, 43. His wife lives in the house, since their separation thirteen months ago, and his apartment is a rental. No other property”. Garcia was typing rapidly, from the sound of all the clicking I could hear.

“What about his clinic? Is there any property registered to his company accounts?”, Hotchner asked. “Uhm… No luck. Unless you count a bowrider he registered as a business-related expense. I’m sure the IRS will have a hey-day with that”. “Keep looking, Garcia”, Morgan said. “Will do”, Penelope said, and hung up.

“Wasn’t Judy Hoffmann coming in for an interview?”, Hotchner said. “We need to find out if there are other places, he might hold the victims”. “I’ll call her again”, I said, and redialed Hoffmann’s ex-wife. She let it ring multiple times, before picking up. “I saw the news! Did you arrest him? Is he there?”, she exclaimed, before I had a chance to say anything. “Judy, you will be perfectly safe if you come in. There are FBI-agents and police here to protect you. I promise…”, I tried. “No! I’m not going there, where everyone can see...”. She halted herself. “If you want to talk to me, you can come meet me”. “I can have officers at your house…”, I began. “No, you! I don’t want… I don’t want some police-officer to see…”. I covered the mic on my phone and looked at Hotchner. “She won’t come in. And she’ll only talk to me”, I said. “You can’t go alone; you’re not an agent. Morgan and Reid…”, he said. The two agents nodded, and I uncovered my phone. “Judy, I will come see you; but I can’t come alone. I’m bringing two agents with me”, I said. “I said, just you”, the woman growled. I tried to calm my voice. “I understand that you’re worried. Maybe John did something to you, and you’re afraid that letting someone see will…”. “We’re done”, she said. “No, Judy! Listen… No one has to look at you, ok? We just need to talk to you”. There was another pause before she spoke again. “Alright… but just the three of you”, she said. “My house”. She hung up the call, and I blew out an exasperated breath.

Spencer gave me an encouraging smile. “Let’s go”.

---

The house was dark when we arrived. Morgan – who had done the driving this time – parked by the curb. “You’re going to need to be calm when you talk to her”, he said to me. “She’s clearly terrified of her ex, and you need to reinsure her that she’s going to be safe”. “I can’t talk to her… You heard Hotchner; I’m not an agent”, I said. “You did great with Hoffmann, at his office. And she seems to trust you, Annabel”, Spencer said, turning to look at me as I sat in the back. “Just be yourself. You’re easy to talk to”. I noticed Morgan smirking a bit, and bit my lip nervously. “We’ll be right there with you, Abbie”, he said.

We got out, and approached the house. It was modern and had probably cost the dentist a pretty penny to buy. I pulled my jacket closed around me, and took a nervous breath, before ringing the doorbell. A light went on above us, and I saw one of the curtains move a bit. “Judy? It’s me, UA Leigh… Abbie… Let us in”. The door opened slightly, and footsteps shuffled just beyond it. “The living room. To the right… Please don’t turn on the lights”, I heard Judy call from inside.

We moved into the darkness; both Spencer’s and Morgan’s hands hovering over their gun holsters. “Judy?”, I called out, and moved in the direction she’d told us to go. The living room was almost as dark as the rest of the house, though there was a floor-lamp turned on by a couch in the middle of it. A slight figure sat in a chair a little way off. “Please sit down”, the figure said. I did as I was told. “Judy, this is doctor Spencer Reid, the agent who spoke to you on the phone earlier; and agent Morgan”, I said. Morgan moved to sit next to me. “Mrs. Hoffmann. We’d like to ask…”. “I said I’d talk to her”, Judy said. “You two can wait outside”. “We can’t do that, Mrs. Hoffmann”, Spencer said. He began moving closer. “We have to…”. “Don’t come closer!”, Judy exclaimed.

I held up a hand to halt Spencer. “They don’t get it”, I said. “The way it feels when you have to look a certain way, just to be able to bear others seeing you”. Judy shifted a little in her seat, and the light from the lamp ghosted her face. I shuddered, and clenched my fists to keep calm from what I thought I’d just seen. “You just want people to think you’re perfect”. “Mrs. Hoffmann, you don’t have to…”, Morgan began. Judy drew back in her chair, and I held up my hand again. “You’re safe, Judy… You don’t want to show yourself, that’s completely fine”, I said. “Just, please… Let the agents ask their questions”. “They won’t look at me?”, she asked almost in a whisper. “We won’t”, Spencer said. He shot Morgan a look, and they both averted their eyes to the floor.

Judy seemed to relax in her seat again. “Your ex-husband may be linked to some very serious crimes”, Morgan said. “We’re not divorced… And what crimes?”. Judy croaked. “We believe he kidnapped and operated on four women, to make them fit his beauty-ideal. So far, two of them have died”, Spencer said. “His ideal…”, Judy scoffed. “That’s a funny way of putting it”. “You don’t share his idea of beauty?”, Spencer asked. “It doesn’t matter what I think…”, Judy said. Morgan cleared his throat. “Why did you leave your ex?”, he asked. “Was it because of that?”. “I didn’t leave John… He left me”, Judy said. “I did everything I could to be the perfect wife, but it was never enough”. “He wanted you to look a certain way”, I said. I could see Judy nod in the shadows. “I would have changed whatever he asked me to”, she said. “I even…”. She sniffled, and reached for a handkerchief. “What, Judy?”, I asked; not really wanting the answer. She reached over to a lamp on the table by her chair, and turned it on. I drew in a short breath at the sight of her face.

Judy’s nose looked like it had been broken and replaced multiple times. Her upper lip was large and puffy, as if it was filled beyond what the stretched-out skin should be able to contain contain. I could also suddenly see why she’d shifted so uncomfortably, as her hips were much broader than what fit her slim frame. “He used you as practice”, Spencer said. She frowned, and quickly turned off the lamp again. “I did what any wife good should do. I loved and supported John. I worked out and kept fit; made sure this house was just perfect. But…”. She brought the handkerchief to her face, and I realized now it was to wipe her chin for drool, from her disformed mouth. “I’m not enough”. “The only thing that matters is how you see yourself”, I said. I thought I saw Judy’s face contort in disagreeing confusion. “If I’d just made him happy, no one would have had to die”, she rasped.

“Did John have any places he liked to go to, to be alone?”, Morgan asked. “I don’t…”. Judy shook her head. “He’d go from the office to home, every day. Only other place was his boat”. “Not big enough to perform the kind of surgery he’s been doing”, Spencer muttered. “John didn’t do this”, Judy said. “He is not like you think he is. If you’d just let me talk to him…”. “I know it’s hard to wrap your head around; you married the man after all”, Morgan said. “But John is a psychopath. He doesn’t care about any of those women, and he won’t care if you talk to him”. “Besides, you said you hadn’t spoken in a year”, I said. “That’s just because he’s stubborn. He wants me to show him how much I care. That I’ll be the wife he needs”. I shared knowing looks with the two agents. “He’s telling you the truth”, I said. “I met with John”. “You’ve seen him? Is he ok? Did he mention me?”, Judy asked, leaning forwards a bit. At the view of her cleavage, I suspected she’d been given implants there as well. “No, he didn’t. He was too busy commenting on how she looked, and how it didn’t fit with what he liked”, Spencer said. “That’s what he does, Mrs. Hoffmann. He cares about himself, and what he wants from other people”.

Morgan’s phone buzzed, and he stepped into the hallway to take the call. “Yeah, Hotch… No, nothing yet…”, I heard him mutter as he walked off.

“So, he looked at you… and he didn’t like what he saw?”, Judy asked. She wiped her chin again. “He’s not a good man, Judy”, I said. She covered her face with her hands, and seemed to begin crying. “Anything you can tell us…”, Spencer said. “Maybe we’ll even be able to prove that John didn’t do it”. Judy looked up, and nodded slightly.

Morgan reentered the room, still holding his phone. “Garcia found something…”, he muttered, and nodded his head for Spencer to follow. The two agents went into the hallway; leaving me alone with the crying woman. “Can I get you anything? Some water?”, I asked. “No… thank you”, she half-whispered. “What’s happening? Is John ok?”. “I don’t know”, I said, and looked towards the hallway. Spencer came back alone. “Mrs. Hoffmann, why didn’t you tell us your family owns a cabin at the north end of the reservoir?”, he asked. Judy sat up a little straighter. “I didn’t know it was relevant”, she said, an edge to her voice. “Does your ex-husband have keys to it?”, Spencer asked. “I told you. We’re not divorced!”, Judy sneered. “Does he have keys?”, Spencer demanded. “I don’t know. Y-yes, maybe…”, Judy stammered.

Morgan came back into the room, pocketing his phone. “They had to let Hoffmann go, but they’re putting a tail on him”, he said. “He’s cleared?”, Judy asked, her voice shaky. “Yes, but you don’t have to worry. Agent Reid and Abbie are going to stay here with you, and keep you safe. He won’t be able to get to you”. “John wouldn’t hurt me”, she said. Morgan gave Spencer a short look. “Still…”, he muttered. “Hotch wants me to meet up with the lieutenant, Hotchner and JJ. We’ll go to the cabin to check it out. It might be his destination”. “He won’t go there!”, Judy enthused. “Someone will pick you up”, Morgan said to Spencer, ignoring the woman. He rushed out of the room, and I soon heard the front door close.

Judy got up, and began pacing the floor. It was a strange sight as she turned. Her bottom was mostly flat, but as her hips were broad, she reminded me of a frail paper doll, from the chest down. “Maybe you should sit down again”, I said. “This is a lot to take in”. “No… no, I’m fine”, she said. “I just want this to be over”.

I saw headlights move down the street, and figured it was Morgan driving away. Judy looked in the same direction, and then at Spencer. “I’d appreciate that glass of water now”, she said. “Of course…”, he said empathetically. Judy turned on the light by her chair again, and went to stand so that we could see her. “I’m going to need a straw…”, she said, and gestured towards her large upper lip. “I’ll get you one”, Spencer smiled, and headed in the direction I figured the kitchen might be.

Judy walked over to the fireplace, and picked up a picture frame. I got up, and walked over to stand next to her. It was the same picture she’d posted on her Facebook, all those years ago. “We met when I took a job as a dental hygienist with him; years ago… I love him… I know he’s not perfect, but I love him so much”, she breathed. “It’ll be ok”, I muttered, not knowing what else to say. “We’ll be ok”, Judy said, her strange lip pulling upwards in a smile.

Spencer cleared his throat from the doorway. “Mrs. Hoffmann? I can’t seem to find a straw”, he said. “Oh… I think I have some by the fridge in the garage”, Judy replied, handed me the photo, and began moving towards him. She halted suddenly, and began massaging her enlarged hips. “I’m sorry. I don’t move very fast”, she sighed. Spencer held up his hands to stop her. “It’s fine. I’m sure I can find them”, he said, and left the room again.

I took another look at the picture in my hands. The younger John Hoffmann’s lips were spread in a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, while Judy was looking up at her husband like he literally put the stars in the sky. I could see why she was attracted to him. He was handsome and rich. Yet, I didn’t understand how she couldn’t see how deranged he was. His eyes were cold, and the way his arm was draped around her, he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but there. Their love was one-sided, that was clear. “It was such a beautiful day… I spent three months on a juice-diet to fit into that dress, by the way”, Judy said, as she came up behind me again. “Ouch… That must have been hard”, I said. “No… Not when it meant I would look perfect, for my perfect husband-to-be”, she sighed. “Did he appreciate it?”, I asked, knowing the true answer would be no. “He was never much for compliments…”, Judy said. “He showed his love in other ways”. “How?”. “John helped me become a woman suited for him”, she said. “He knew I would be happy, when he was. So, he showed me how to make him happy ". “By performing surgery on you? Judy… You have to know that’s not love”, I said. She shook her head exasperatedly. “You wouldn’t understand”, she said.

My phone buzzed, and I dug it out of my pocket, to see Garcia’s name light up the screen. “I have to take this”, I muttered, and handed her back the picture. “Penelope? What’s up?”. “Did Morgan leave already?”, she asked. “Yeah, like five minutes ago. Why?”. “I looked up Judy Hoffmann’s records, after it turned out she didn’t tell you guys about the cabin. All that surgery she had?”. “Morgan told you about that, huh…”, I muttered. “Yes, he did. You should know, I have records of her husband bringing her in to the hospital multiple times, with fractures to her nose. Every time the doctors wanted to reset it, she would be the one to refuse”. I looked over my shoulder at Judy, who stood stroking the image of her husband. “Well, she wanted to make her husband happy; so she probably didn’t want it to look like it had before”. “That’s not all, though… Those implants; he didn’t give her those. She actually went to a plastic surgeon to have them done”. My heart dropped. “She did?”. “Uh huh… But the last time she tried to have work done, the doctor refused; saying her body couldn’t take another surgery”. I looked towards the doorway. It was taking Spencer a long time to get those straws. “Penelope… I think you should send someone back to the house”, I said quietly. “Is everything ok? Where’s Reid?”. “I don’t know… Just send someone”, I whispered. “Right away”, Penelope said shortly, and hung up.

I turned to look at Judy again. “Maybe I should go help him find those straws…”, I said as calmly as I could. “Oh, he probably found them”, she said. “But he can’t get back inside. The door to the garage is a single cylinder lock”. I heard bumps coming from somewhere further inside the house, and figured Spencer was trying to get out of the garage. I backed towards the doorway. “Then I should open the door for him”, I said. Judy picked up a fire-poker, and began moving towards me. “No. I don’t think so. He probably also found some other things out there, so he knows what I did to those women”. I held my hands in front of me. “Judy, I…”. “You know, I saw you on tv too… after you called me that first time”, she said, and took another step towards me. I looked over my shoulder for something to defend myself with. “Your nose leans slightly to the left, did you know that?”. “I’ve been told”, I croaked. “John likes it when things are a little off… He always wanted his clothes, his car and his house to be perfect; but his women…”. She sighed. “I would have gladly gone through a million more surgeries, if it would only make him happy; but the doctors said no…”. “So, he left you”, I said. Judy nodded. “I just wanted to make him happy, and have him back. So, I made him gifts”. “You put those implants in those women…”, I said. “In Karen… You knew Karen, didn’t you…?”. The bumping against the door to the garage continued. “You were making her as a gift for him”. “He’d have her with him at the office, and then he could come home to me; ready to show me love again”, Judy said. “But she didn’t pull through…”.

I sprang for the door, but much quicker than I’d thought her able to, Judy jumped at me, and swung the fire-poke. She hit my thigh, and I yelped as white, hot pain spread from the impact. I fell to the floor, and she was on me, pointing the sharp end to my throat. I grabbed her wrists, to keep from her impaling my trachea. The bang of a gunshot rang though the house, and I heard footsteps running towards us. “Put down the weapon, Judy. You don’t want to do this”, Spencer exclaimed. He must have shot his way out of the garage; and was standing with his gun aimed at the deranged woman. Judy sat straddling me, struggling against my hold. My arms were beginning to strain from the force of her strength, and I felt fear rushing through me. “I just need this last one”, she said. “He’ll know it was for him. He’ll love me again!”. “That’s not how it works. You know that”, Spencer said. “I can’t hold her…”, I whimpered. Spencer swallowed thickly, and his eyes flickered towards me, before looking at her again. “Judy, John is on his way to the police-station again. He heard what you did for him, and he wants to talk to you”, he said. “Really?”, Judy croaked. “Yes… He’ll meet you there”. Judy shook her head, but the pressure of her arms let down a bit. “You’re lying”, she said. Spencer looked at me again. “Rule number one. The Doctor never lies”, he said. My lips parted, and I drew in a short breath. “You can call them. Please. Take her phone, and call the last number on it”.

Judy looked down at me, and released the poke with one hand, to reach for my pocket. Spencer’s eyes locked on mine. “Geronimo…”, he said. I swung my body to the side, and Judy fell off me. Spencer fired a shot, which hit her arm, and she dropped the poke on the floor. I kicked it away, and he ran over to handcuff the screaming woman. “John! I want to see John!”, she squealed.

The front door sprang open, and officers flooded the room, along with Morgan, JJ and Hotchner. Spencer ran over to me, and put his arm around my waist to help me up. The pain in my leg was throbbing, but with his help, I managed to get over to the couch, and sit down. “Are you ok?”, he asked, placing his hand on my leg, to check for a wound. “She got a blow in, but I’ll be fine”, I groaned. “I don’t think it’s broken”, he muttered, as he squeezed my thigh. I hissed, and he drew back. “I’m sorry…”. “You got the quote wrong”, I said. “Rule number one. The Doctor lies”. “It wouldn’t have made sense to say that”, Spencer said. “And you caught my meaning”. I chuckled a little, and a smile ghosted his face.

“We need a medic!”, Hotchner called out, after having gone over to check on Judy. He walked towards where I was seated, and looked down at my leg. I tried to sit up a little straighter, but another jolt of pain went through me. “Two of them”, he added. “I’m fine. It’s just a bruise”, I said. “We need to make sure…”, he said. “Really, I just gotta walk it off”, I insisted, and tried to get to my feet. I almost fell over, and Spencer grabbed my hands, to keep me standing. “There’s an ambulance outside, just let one of the paramedics have a look”, JJ said from behind Hotchner. Morgan was leading the still struggling Judy out of the door. “She needs it more than I do”, I said. “That, and a psychiatrist”. “You’re seeing a doctor, and then you’ll meet us on the plane, to go back to Quantico; is that understood?”, Hotchner said shortly. “She needs to give a statement”, JJ said. “She can do that at the hospital. You go with her. We’ll finish up at the precinct”, he said, and went in the same direction as Morgan. “Reid…”, he called over his shoulder. Spencer’s lips twitched, as if he was trying to give me a smile; and hurried after the others.

“I guess my trial-period is over”, I muttered. JJ squeezed my shoulder. “Let’s go…”.

---

My ears were ringing from lift-off, and my leg was throbbing. The painkillers the doctor had given me at the hospital hadn’t quite done their work yet; but at least I’d gotten off easy with nothing but some bad bruising and swelling. I sunk into my seat, pulled my cardigan tighter around me, and looked out of the window of the plane. The sun was rising, and it was a strange sight to see it emerge over the clouds. A mug of coffee was set down in front of me, and Spencer sat down in the seat across from me. “I don’t think I should have any more caffeine. I already drained Nebraska”, I said. “It’s decaf”, he said. “Bleh…”, I winced.

He chuckled a little, before his expression grew sullen. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. “I should never have left the room”, he said. “I don’t blame you… And I’m fine, really. It’s just a bruise”, I said. “Well, I blame me. If I hadn’t left you alone…”. He frowned deeply, and his jaw clenched. “You… we didn’t know it was her”, I said. “And you did save me in the end. In the coolest way ever”. His lips twitched into a smile. “It was kind of cool”, he said. “But I still should have…” “Never blame yourself for the actions of someone else”, I said. “Different doctor, but still a good quote”.

We sat for a long moment in silence. “What’s going to happen to Judy and John?”, I asked. “She’ll go to jail, or possibly a psychiatric institution”, he replied. “Where did she find her victims?”. “She’d gone doctor-shopping, to try to get them to do more surgery on her”, he said. “She’d seen the two of them at the different clinics, and she knew about Karen from how John had talked about her back when they lived together... The operations were actually performed in that cabin her family has, so we got that right”. “What about him? The man is a monster”, I shuddered. “True. But he hasn’t acted on it, so there’s nothing to charge him with”. “So, he’ll just go on like nothing happened?”. Spencer shook his head. “The press found out his name. His reputation is ruined, even though he didn’t do anything”. “Yet…”, I said. “Won’t losing his rep make him dangerous? He’s crazy”. “If it does, we’ll be back to stop him”, Spencer said confidently. “I’m sure you will”, I muttered, and looked out of the window again.

“Annabel?”, Spencer said. I looked back at him. “Do you mind… Can I ask you what happened to you? If you don’t want to share, I completely understand”. “W-what?”, I squeaked, suddenly anxious. “Something happened to you, to put you where you are today… With us, and the BAU”, he said. “You reaction to the smell of bleach; the way you explained to Rossi your reason for wanting to work in law enforcement... You didn’t say a word about the criminals, and how they need to be punished. You didn’t even mention justice for the victims; you were just focused on keeping them safe. Tells me you felt unsafe yourself, at some point. You did it again, during Hoffmann’s questioning. You were so focused on protecting the victims”. He halted himself, when he saw my expression. “I’m sorry, I overstepped”, he said apologetically. “No, you… You’re just a good profiler”, I said. “You don’t have to tell me…”, he began. “I want to. It’s just… It’s not a fun story”. “I had some pretty bad things happen to me. Talking to my friends made it easier to deal with”, Spencer said. I met his eyes hesitantly, and found nothing but kindness and a genuine want to help in them.

I leaned back in my seat, and sighed; looking down at my hands. They were shaking. “When I was four, I was playing outside, when a man took me…”, I said. “I don’t remember much, other than a dark room, that smelled like dust and bleach. And I was scared… so scared”. I swallowed thickly, and when I looked at him again, I saw that he did too. His eyes were sad, but I didn’t feel like he was looking at me in pity; which helped me to continue. “My mom found me about an hour later, in the back room of a laundromat down the street. My parents called the cops, but when they showed up, they just said that the man was already known to them; and that he was harmless. He’d probably just wanted to take me for an ice-cream… The doctor said I showed no signs of abuse; and I honestly don’t remember him touching me, but…”. I couldn’t finish the sentence. “I think I was lucky my mom found me when she did”. I cleared my throat, and took a sip of the coffee, wincing at the taste. “You were lucky”, Spencer said. “You know, we use this thing, called a cognitive interview… Using the memory of smells and sounds, you can sometimes remember more than you though you did…”. “I don’t want to remember… I don’t need to”, I cut him off. “We found out later that the guy was a patient at a mental institution. I don’t know if he was there because he was a pedophile, or mentally impaired, and really did just want to… play with me”. I bit my lip a little. “All I know is the police did nothing to find out what had happened, or how he got out… And they didn’t bother to have me checked out; my parents had to do that themselves… I was scared, and the people meant to protect and take care of me – the police or the FBI, or whoever… didn’t”. “So you decided to take a job, where you could help make sure that didn’t happen to someone else”, Spencer said quietly. I nodded, and quickly wiped my eye for a stray tear. Spencer reached for a handkerchief in his pocket, and handed it to me. Our fingers brushed as I took it, and I felt warmth stream through me. “Thanks…”, I muttered, and wiped my eyes again.

“You did help back there. With Judy”, he said. “Doesn’t take away how I messed up…”, I said. “You didn’t mess up”, he tried. “I didn’t call in witnesses; I spoke out of turn; I was unprofessional with the…”. “You also helped us figure out how Hoffmann was linked to the victims”, Spencer said. “But he wasn’t the one to hurt those women”, I said. “Still. We wouldn’t have found the connection as fast; which brought us to his wife”. He gave me another warm smile. “You helped. You made sure no one else will be hurt by her”.

I’ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow, I thought to myself.

“Thank you, Spencer. I think I’m going to try to get some sleep”, I said. “Ok… If you need anything, let me know”, he said. “You should rest your leg”. I nodded with a slight smile.

When he got up to walk past me, I noticed his hand hovering over my shoulder. He made a fist, and pulled his hand away, before going over to sit next to Blake. I leaned my head against the wall, closed my eyes, and pretended to fall asleep.

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I was seated in Hotchner’s office again; my hands shaking, and my heart racing. I hadn’t gotten any sleep yet, and my body was fueled by yet another gallon of coffee – not decaf. At least this time, I was wearing something more comfortable; which helped a little, seeing as I was about to get fired only twenty-four hours after having gotten the job.

Hotchner stepped into the office, with a file in his hands. He looked as tired as I felt, but carried himself with quite a lot more dignity than me. He sat down in his chair, and placed the folder on the desk. “I just want to thank you for the opportunity you gave me, to go with you”, I said. “I learned a lot, and I’ll take it with me in the future”. “Good. I know you did your best to impress me and the team, and I appreciate the fact that you had the victim’s best in mind”, Hotchner proclaimed. “That said…”. “I overstepped… more than once”, I said. “And I didn’t contact the families of the victims, when I should have”. “You’re also inclined to interrupt”, Hotchner cut in. “Sorry… sir”, I muttered.

He sighed, and folded his hands on the table. “This team is made out of extraordinary, exceptional, and – some would say – unconventional individuals; who each know how to use their strengths and flaws to their advantage, in solving cases, that to others in law-enforcement are unsolvable”. He raised his brows at me, and inclined his head. “But even we fall short sometimes; because we’re just human. Sometimes we need a fresh set of eyes, to help us along. You were those eyes in this case. Thank you”. “You’re… welcome?”, I said bewilderedly. “You’re not an agent, and you’re not a profiler…”, he began. “I know, sir. I’m…”. He held up his hands to halt me. “Let me finish”, he said. I closed my mouth, and clenched my jaw to keep from speaking. “But you’re a good UA, with great instincts that will help this team stay the best at what they do”. My jaw dropped. “You can speak now”, Hotchner said. “So… I’m not fired?”, I asked. “I would greatly appreciate it if you’d consider staying on with the BAU, as our full-time unit assistant”, he replied. “I’m… Yes. I would like that very much”.

“Good”, Hotchner said, and got up to stand. I followed his lead, and took his out-stretched hand to shake it. “Just one thing. Well, two actually”. “Anything”, I said. “I want you to take the bureau’s entry-level hand-to-hand combat course; so that you might be able to better protect yourself in the future. I read your medical files from Nebraska, and it looks like you were lucky, Judy Hoffmann didn’t do more damage to your leg than she did”. “Of course. Yes”, I said. “And I want you to consider getting a service-weapon”, he continued. “It’s not an order, but I’d feel better knowing you had one”. “I don’t have the credentials to have one. And I don’t have a private permit”, I said. “I took the liberty to apply for a license with the bureau, on your behalf”, he said. “With my sign-off, it’ll go through, as soon as you take the needed exams on the gun-range here at Quantico”. “O-ok…”, I stuttered.

I was overwhelmed, terrified, and ecstatic all at once. “So, when’s the next case? What do I need to prepare? What…?”. “The only thing you need to do right now, is go home and sleep”, Hotchner said. I blew out a nervous breath. “I honestly don’t think I can sleep right now”. “Trust me”, he said. “Once the adrenaline wains off, you’ll be out like a light… Go home”.

I began limping towards the door, continuously looking over my shoulder at Hotchner, to make sure that what had just happened, had actually happened. Hotchner, having turned his focus to the file in front of him – probably some new case – looked up at me as I stood in the doorway. “Yes?”, he said. “Uhm… You never told me how you like your coffee”, I said. “Caramel macchiato. Heavy on the syrup, light on the espresso”, he said deadpan. “Don’t tell anyone”. A smile ghosted his face, and I made the motion of zipping my lips shut, before turning around and leaving the room.

The rest of the team were gathered in the bull-pen, all trying hard to look occupied with anything, but looking at me. Spencer’s eyes twitched nervously, as he dared to meet mine. “I guess I’ll see you all tomorrow”, I said timidly. Spencer raised his head, and smiled brightly. “I take it your meeting went well?”, Rossi said. I simply smiled, not really knowing what to say. Morgan took my bag for me, and patted my shoulder. “Welcome to the team, Abs”. “Thanks”, I said. “It’s good to have you”, JJ grinned. Blake nodded in agreement.

We all headed towards the elevators, Rossi letting me put my arm through his, to help me walk. My leg was still throbbing. Penelope came running towards us as we went. “Hold the doors!”, she called out, and slipped inside, just before they closed. She handed me a phone. “Here you go. Hotch told me you were staying”. “Thank you. And thanks for your help yesterday”, I said. “You’re very welcome. Now, I think you owe me a story…”, she said. I took my bag from Morgan, and slipped the phone into it. “What story?”, I muttered, worried where this was going. “You. Vodka. The Rock…”, Penelope grinned. “Now this I’ve gotta hear!”, Morgan laughed. “Oh god…”, I groaned. “You’re one to talk, Morgan. I’ve seen you after a row of tequila-shots”, Blake said. “Oh, really…”, Morgan replied.

Friendly banter and laughter went back and forth between the people in the elevator, as I moved to stand against the wall, next to Spencer. “I’m happy you’re staying”, he said. “Me too”, I replied. Our shoulders were touching slightly as we stood there, and as fatigue was once again setting in, and my leg not exactly stable, I allowed myself to lean a little against him. “You ok?”, he asked quietly. “Yeah. It’s just my leg”, I muttered. “Would you like me to walk you to your car? For support, I mean”, he said, his cheeks slightly pink. “That’s really nice of you, but I don’t have one…”, I said. “I was going to take the bus and the train”. “Reid has a car…”, Rossi said. “Eavesdropping?”, Spencer said. “Hey. It’s a free elevator”, Rossi smirked. Spencer inclined his head towards me, and lowered his voice even more. “It’s true. I have a car”, he said. “Would you like a lift home?”. I felt my cheeks beginning to burn. “That’d be nice”, I squeaked.

We reached the parking level, and Spencer held out his elbow, to let me hook my arm through it. “Goodnight, guys!”, JJ called after us as we walked away from the others. “It’s actually morning”, Spencer said. “Who cares. I’m going home to sleep”, Blake said. “See you tomorrow!”, Penelope tweeted.

“I’m going to like it here”, I said. Spencer looked down at me with a warm smile. “Me too… I mean I’ll like that you’re here… I mean…”. “Doctor?”. “Yes?”. “You’re being awkward again”. “Yes”.

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“There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion.” - Edgar Allan Poe

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#doctor spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #criminal minds

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