#he’s so house wife

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

[saturnniidae]

[the-daily-dreamer]

When team black’s very own perfect male wife, Daemon Targaryen, goes behind his wife’s back, overrules her decisions, and stains her reputation…

I been trying to tell team black that daemon ain’t a male wife for the last year to no avail. That man has not once given a crap about Rhaenyra or what she wants or believes in. He believed that grooming her would lead to her being subservient to him and bending to his will so he could be king.

He’s acting like he’s king. Because in his eyes he’s the real power. It’s why he chokes her when she isn’t decisive like he wants. It’s why he makes ulterior plans without her permission to get what he wants. It’s why he ignores her when she needs him in pain and fear and grief. And most importantly, it’s why he sullied her name.

He is angry that he is behind Rhaenyra in succession, angry that he relies on her claim to get himself and his blood on the throne, angry that he has to answer to her instead of the other way around. So he will destroy her claim and her reputation so that he is more loved than her.

If you wanna be a fan of daemon because he’s just a bad person and you like how bad he is…go ahead. But I’ve had enough of the team black “perfect innocent meow meow male-wife girl dad daemon” narrative. He’s a pedophile, a predator, a misogynist, a wife beater and murderer, and a genuinely despicable person who just had a child killed to suit his blood lust and hatred as well as to ruin the reputation of the woman he resents for being more than him. At this point, you’re all stanning a man who is everything you wish team green would be and your hypocrisy is showing

[faeriekit]

New In Town (dp x dc)

ALRIGHT! 👏🏽 A prompt. (Or, well. A premise.) I’m schtealing a lot of worldbuilding from @mediumsizedpidegon‘s post here so bear with me please.

The Bats, however they catch wind of Amity, catch wind of Amity Park. Of course they do. Amity Park has a very distinct presence— Or, well, a lack of a presence. It may have an abundance of documented weirdness online, from folk stories to abandoned livestreams to concerning details in expats’ online blogs.

But there is no online evidence of Amity Park that leaves Amity Park.

So. What is a family of detectives to do when confronted with the need to gather physical evidence? Road Trip, baby!🏄🏽‍♂️🚗🚞🚡

Everyone hops in the car/Batplane and makes their way to Amity Park; they make hotel reservations, ring up the only reasonably rich enough people to even touch their social circle (the Manson family, and Vlad Masters, apparently), make an itinerary for all the documented tourist stops to hit up while in town off the town website, and prepare themselves for whatever dimensional weirdness is causing a complete tech blackout on the town and an inability to be found by satellite.

They get about ten feet into Amity proper when they meet the first local.

His name is Danny. He’s nice! Affable. He looks a lot like any other Wayne sibling, actually, if a little on the younger side. He notices it’s their first time in town. Do they need any help getting around?

Best way to get information is to ingratiate with a local, so...sure, why not? They get a free tour guide, Danny gets to show off his town; they see all the sights, like the local burger joint, the school, the Manson home, the town hall, the city proper. They’re having a clothing swap in the temple parking lot, actually. You should go check it out!

For whatever reason, it’s all...Punk? Goth? There’s a couple of lolita dressed tossed in, and some crocheted things. Everyone has a trunk out their car, eyeliner, and at least two piercings in their face; everyone here seems to know each other on a personal level. Well, small towns are small towns. Whatever.

Danny isn’t deterred by their reactions. If they want, there’s the movie in park tonight! If not, they can catch dinner, though; their hotel restaurant closes at 8pm sharp. (He just...knows this off the top of his head?)

They split up. Some of the family people watch at the restaurant. Everyone is...weirdly courteous to them. A little standoffish. But not at the Wayne name, just at...them being there.

The people at the park find out they’re watching The Night of the Living Dead. This would be much more normal if the park wasn’t also clearly the cemetery, in the middle of July? Which is. Why? It’s not even for any holiday or special time of the year? It’s just...clearly a movie night in the summer? There are little kids here, playing among the gravestones while their parents set out blankets and snacks. Why is this considered a family event??

Well. At least Jason has fun.

Everyone goes to bed and reconvenes in the morning. When they wake up and roll out for the day, Danny manages to find them again, this time with two new friends, bright and chipper in the morning. There’s a farmer’s market today! Everyone’s worked really hard on this week’s harvest; don’t they want to see?

...Sure?

And the longer they’re in Amity Park, the more they begin to realize how convenient it is, that they’re ferried around so easily; that there’s immediately a local who takes a liking to them, that there’s always something else to do; how suspicious it is that no data can get in or out of Amity now that they’re in it, or how they can’t seem to get close to any of the more suspicious parts of town they want to infiltrate. The town is entirely closed to outside influences. The fashion trends are strange and foreign. They only eat things grown in the area, by people they know, and it’s all sort of...green. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone knows where to go. Who to talk to. The superstitions— make no wishes, step on no cracks, wear no large jewelry, cross no shadows of any person (living or dead, apparently), speak to no one without full view of their eyes. 

But nothing seems dangerous— not until a few of them try to investigate Axiom Labs, a subsidiary of the otherwise national Dalvco company, and are met to the face with a blaster that uses tech they’ve never seen, by a red fighter in an ultra-synthetic suit.

Overnight, the extremely polite and welcoming town becomes a hostile entity to fight their way out of.

[cupcakeinat0r]

[drhubrisworm]

Melinoe: Father, I have heard that my brother, left open a position in the clerical department for shade paperwork

Hades: That is correct

Melinoe: I nominate myself for the position.

Hades: And what exactly are your qualifications?

Melinoe: You have seen the state of my room, I have also prepared a scroll detailing more responsibilities I can handle in this clerical position.

Hades: Considered and approved, you will begin your work the next eve

Zagerus: *Shocked and high fives melinoe*

[theindefinitearticle]

what you have to understand is every character in riverdale represents a genre and a class dynamic do you understand no wait come back

[getosugurusbangs]

bleaching the bathtub puts me at ease.

[shirecorn]

Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.

The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos

[gorejo]

forbes gojo’s house cleaner cleaning their bedsheets for the fifth time this friday 😔

"Gojo-kun," the older woman huffed, voice still gentle yet stern as she spoke to the younger man that she'd been taking care of since he was a child. Quickly pinching his bare side, back littered with angry marks and love bites, as she walked past him with an armful of white bedsheets, clicking her tongue, "I don't think Gojo-sama would be delighted to hear her son is being a pain to his wife."

"What do you mean —" he almost spit out of his water as his childhood nanny passed by, her shorter stature swallowed by his upright build. His blue eyes immediately took sight of the white fabric that she was holding, and his thoughts instantly recounted the iniquitous matrimony he had with his wife — not even a few hours prior.

the sheets were probably still damp — fuck.

Quickly rushing toward her, Satoru took the sheets from the older lady, blushing as he fumbled over his words, "I-I'll get this, Hirota-san, you go down and rest, " he flashed her an awkward, apologetic smile, "she's still sleeping right now."

Fed up with the countless times she had to cover for his mess, but also feeling sympathetic towards you, "the poor woman's always being swindled by you," she grumbled before making her way down the stairs, wondering how on earth he didn't get you pregnant by now...

++ on Fridays, that would be Satoru's job to do (: usually, he'll be good to put the sheets in after moving his wife to the other bedroom... but this particular day, he was being a bad boy.

[thechy-fychannel]

y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.

[fishsinsareacknowledged]

choose your character:

-[Nikto]- [König] [Ghost]

Nikto has tits so big every button up shirt he has, has to be oversized or the buttons will pop off. Everytime he tries something in the fitting room it breaks and he has to pay for it either way so he just buys it while doing an estimate. Nikto who tries them out at home and they expectantly break. Fixing the buttons up before deciding to give it to you. Making an excuse that the fabric just wasn't right for him.

Nikto who comes over just to make sure you still have his clothes. Talking to himself in satisfaction when he sees a whole stack amount of his clothes mixed into yours. Nikto who "accidentally" leaves his clothes in your house for you to keep. Nikto who folds a clean boxer into your drawer of panties, taking one for himself. An eye for an eye.

But also Nikto who leaves a dehumidifier in your closet so the clothes don't smell like shit other than him. Leaving you some scented candles if he notices the smell of your house is "off" cough cough having someone over. Gifting you some bedspray the same as his so he can pretend that you're in the same shitty bed he is on during deployment. Nikto who comes back and the first thing he does is replace and maintain the cleanliness of your house, refurnishing the floors if they're wooden. Replacing the grout if they're old.

Leaving mothballs in your bathroom and closet. Checking on the batteries of your devices. Neatly arranging your cables. Spraying antibug spray onto the walls and floor. Making the house all devoid of life except you. It makes him calmer. Doing the chores and the environment. Just the way he likes it. Clean, sterile and you. He loves you.

Ps: Don't look at the tags.

[natjennie]

I love that no matter how many fucking times alison gestures to exactly where the ghosts are mike will still look up in the air for them. the fact that he makes an attempt to interact directly with them instead of just always looking to alison is so charming. but also adhd king.

[sadlynotthevoid]

Crack idea here: LCF modern AU with magic where og!Cale accidentally gains a swordmaster aura after way too many hours of playing beat saber.

Cale: *intensely playing the same game for 74th time this (new) year*

Cale's body: *starts exuding glowing mist*

Cale:

Hans, who just opened the door: Excuse me, young mas— Hhh...

Hans: Madam Violan!!!

[dirtytransmasc]

Alicent being ignored as a parent during those first few years. Alicent being expected to take care of aegon, while also allowing Viserys to take him whenever he so pleased, to show off and pass around like a model toy. Alicent being denied her child whenever lords and ladies were around. Alicent only getting him back when she was at her wits end, stressed after being separated from him for so long, watching people hold him wrong, play with him wrong, touch him wrong. Alicent only getting him back when he is fussy and no longer a source of entertainment for Viserys and his guests. Alicent holding her baby close to her chest during outings or events, stiffening when people ask to see him, hesitant to release her grip on him. Alicent biting her tongue when people ask to "give her a break" when she really wants to tell them that it's her baby and she's perfectly capable. Alicent being so exhausted from guests and Aegon being so little and full of energy, and her second pregnancy, causing her to doze with Aegon in her arms, only to nearly lash out when someone tries to slip him from her arms, engulfing him in her arms as if to fend him from hungry wolves. Alicent carrying him around, even as she grows tired, her arms burning and back aching, so she knows he is safe, away from prying hands and acrid whispers, away from his father's attempts to use him for amusement purposes. Alicent feigning a smile, feigning composure and enjoyment, when really, she just wants to be home, in her chambers with her son, where no one can bother them, where they aren't props meant to smile and wave for a man who does not love them.

(inspired by this reblog of my post from earlier. cause yes, @squgs [hope you don't mind me tagging] is right, she would very much go to war for her baby)

[confoodles]

SPOILERS FOR TUA SEASON 4 ❗❗❗

I truly admire the writers' dedication to making up for Luther being the least liked character in the earlier seasons. They rlly said GUYSSS we r soo soo sorry abt the being in love with his sister thing and the imprisoning Viktor thing OKAYY?? Look he's gonna be a himbo now !! He's working as a stripper and dressing as an astronaut OKAY?? He lives in an abandoned house that he decorates with trinkets OKAY?? HE IS LOOKING AT SCONCES IN AN ANTIQUE SHOP GUYSSSS PLEASEEEEE FORGIVEEE USSS !!