#he’s so man and so sexy

[ascendingtostardust]

don’t hmu I’m not okay

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price guest stars on The Muppet Show (1977)

[0booboozefool0]

…

so...

there’s this set of pixels…

[sunsburns]

will never not think about drooling all over logan howlett’s thick, strong arm as he holds you in a headlock (18+)

he’s splitting you open from behind with a steady, strong pace. you can hardly move, the weight of his body against you, using it to press you into the bed, and each thrust of his hips has you moaning loud into the crook of his arm.

how your body melts, eyes rolling back, unable to string coherent words other than his name, still a little dizzy from the way he had pushed your head down against the sheets earlier. but now his one free hand is running lines up your sides, and lips wet lips against your ear, letting you hear the low grunts and groans he limits himself to.

sometimes logan lets you hear an occasional, breathless “fuck,” or a choked moan when you squeeze against him.

he brings a string of kisses and nips up your nape, so he can kiss your cheek. it’s sweet, a gentle gesture, only amplifying the pleasure that each deep snap of his hips brings, lulling you to euphoria.

you could die there, happily, in the embrace of his arms, the heat of his body while his cock fills you entirely, fucking you so perfectly, claiming you with teeth at your neck, rasping your name against your skin.

[briefkittenearthquake]

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, in the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy,moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious,gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and i’d still ride.

[delusinaldreamer19]

I giggle to myself a little every time I see someone complain that Sebastian gets twink-afied. Cus like- it wasn’t the fandom who did that (entirely), this mf did it to himself.

Your telling me that this back arching, eyelash batting, floor knealing, long haired, long lashed, pursed lipped, smirking, eyes half lidded, long legged, skinny waist, birthing hipped, flexible, androgynes as hell mother fucker DOESN’T look like he’d want to fuck your dad?

[doortotomorrow]

cooper howard - the head

[coreytaylr]

100% legit totally real facts about the historical stede bonnet

no the title is not a lie these are really REAL bc believe it or not, somehow the show made our stede MORE competent than the real one

sources: Real Pirates podcast (ep1, ep2, ep3, ep4, ep5), Dirty Sexy History podcast (with jeremy moss, bonnet's biographer, who LOVES the show, and said it changed his perspective on bonnet's and blackbeard's relationship PLUS he has the stedesrevenge handle on twt)

the library on the revenge was a real thing. the man really did that.

running away from his family to be a pirate

paying a salary to his crew

SHOWING UP IN NASSAU IN FRILLY GENTLEMANLY CLOTHES AND A POWDERED WIG

before bonnet's capture, he ran his ship aground and that's how the english caught up with him BUT the two english ships also ran aground (😭), so they fought each other with their flintlock pistols from behind their ships (until the tides turned and dislodged the english ships first. rip)

adopted an alias when he started pirating so people wouldn't know it was him but he raided ships near Barbados (where he's from), so that didnt turn out well. his solution? burning every ship from Barbados

he only succeeded in his early days bc merchant ships knew they would get off easier if they surrendered

ATTACKED A WARSHIP that whooped his ass so bad he almost died. the remaining crew steered the ship to Nassau where he met blackbeard

blackbeard stole the revenge from him but "allowed" him to stay on BB's ship (either as a guest or as a prisoner, it's not clear, but he def wasn't a crew member bc he didn't have any chores)

he was seen on deck running around in his gowns 😭😭

BB eventually reinstated him as the captain of the revenge and they sailed together for a while

"there is a 4 month period where stede and blackbeard kind of disappeared and no one really knows what they were doing" 👀

BB allowed bonnet to raid on his own which lead to him getting his ass beat by the Protestant Caesar. BB then proceeded to HUNT DOWN THE PROTESTANT CAESAR while flying the RED FLAG (which meant no mercy to anyone on board)

bonnet would raid ships and take what provisions he needed and give the other ship what he didn't need (essentially the library raiding scene lmaoo)

BB betrayed bonnet by raiding his ship and marooning his crew while bonnet was off getting a pardon

SO BONNET SWORE REVENGE AGAINST BB who was at the time, the most feared pirate

this led to him adopting another alias - "he also changes his name, at the time he goes by captain edward's. which is really interesting, I don't know if that's an homage to, you know, edward teach, but.. captain edward's with an "s", that's as if he's.. a possession of captain edward" ONCE AGAIN 👀👀👀👀

HE ESCAPED PRISON BY DRESSING AS A WOMAN

after escaping, he was promised a sloop by some rando. when the rando didnt deliver, bonnet "WROTE HIM A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER REPRIMANDING THE MAN"

that letter led to him being recaptured 😭😭

he was hanged while holding a bouquet of wilted flowers

[the-darkestminds]

“Elain deserves better than Lucien.”

At no point during this entire series are we led to believe that Lucien isn’t a high quality, compassionate, and thoughtful male. ✋😤

[thatonedudeinthecorner]

I won’t him he’s so find @tiffanyblewss

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price guest stars on The Muppet Show (1977)

[yennao]

Hey if Deathbit ain’t scorched to hell in 97 I’m gonna be disappointed. I’ll draw that too. Obviously. Asap. Till then, comic Deathbit

[chefkids]

The way the only thing that makes Carmy crack a smile while being locked in the walk in is remembering the first and last meal Syd made him. Mind you, he didn't even try the fennel salad and the radicchio almost made him throw up.

[briefkittenearthquake]

“he’s so baby girl”…. is a 40 year old man

[laniidae-passerine]

positively obsessed with how Rockstar Lestat is the exact kind of guy one of my friends would show me a picture of and swear he’s really sexy and cool and brilliant. Whole time I’m thinking “oh dear GOD” staring at a trainwreck weirdo and wondering what’s happened to everybody else that is absolutely missing me. jesus christ he’s blond

[kimcheesiee]

sylus' intimacy game lvl.70 affinity (secret times) audio BUT DIRTIER MWAHAHAHHA—

i edited some stuff to make it sound... well... 🙂‍↕️🫦😏

ENJOY :)

the ending is my fav