#he'd invite his siblings to guest star

[balkanbitch]

I just think that out of all the batkids jason is the most likely to have a podcast reading reddit aita stories.

[aeon-borealis]

Random AleHeather Headcanons

-I honestly think Alejandro and Heather would be childfree by choice. Heather isn't fond of her younger siblings and her parents were more than ready to push her out of the house. Alejandro has a very strained, tumultuous relationship with his family.

I like to think they'd build a found family between each other, friends, and others they meet along the way. Both are trying to work through personal shit as well as Total Drama baggage. Neither wants to put a potential kid through what they've been through. They both have wants, goals, and ambitions that don't leave time for kids. Neither wants the stress that'd come with pregnancy and a crying baby either. That's just my take, though.

-Heather wants a big house with a walk-in closet and filled with lots of nice, posh furniture and luxury items. Both Alejandro and Heather have a few high-fashion outfits and at least one Louis Vuitton bag.

-Alejandro was already gender non-conforming in World Tour with his shoulder length hair and earrings. In All Stars, he said he put time and effort into "manscaping." He already has femme-leaning gender expression, so I think he'd go further into "fuck gender" as he gets older. He'd have some skirts in his closet. He wears make-up. He carries purses and calls them purses. His style is low-key, but he slays.

-Both Alejandro and Heather are Sims fanatics. They're the kind of gamers that Sims is the only video game they're interested in if/when they have time. Heather's favorite Sim is Dina Caliente and she has a laundry list of reasons to justify Dina's gold-digging leanings.

Alejandro's favorite Sim is Nina Caliente. He's a hopeless romantic at heart and when he feels charitable, he makes Don Lothario give up womanizing and realize he likes the idea of a quiet, domestic life with Nina. Alejandro also has a soft spot for Olive Specter. He loves her "Gothic love story" with the Grim Reaper.

-Both Alejandro and Heather want a huge, grandiose wedding. Only a few family members are invited; the rest are their short list of friends. It's a destination wedding and they foot the bill for their guests. And they're a very happy, sappy couple.

A wedding is after years of therapy and overcoming trauma together. If I dream up endgame Aleheather, they're gonna be a healthy hetero couple that learned how to work together. I think more media needs that shit in general and I'm gonna include that in my fan works because I want more of that, dammit.

[theroyalsims]

CROWN PRINCESS JOINED BY PRINCE ALISTAIR AND NEW GIRLFRIEND AT ROYAL BOX FOR SIMBLEDON WOMEN'S FINALS

Despite the thrilling championship match unfolding on the court, all eyes were definitely on the Royal Box this morning at Simbledon!

The Crown Princess, who serves as Royal Patron of the Brindleton Tennis and Croquet Club, was joined by her younger brother and his new girlfriend, Margeaux Riccaforte. Despite being seated together, Anya arrived first, and was welcomed by retired tennis great and all around sports legend Bianca Galdofinia. Lovebirds Al and Margeaux, meanwhile, had a much more low-key entrance via the private side wing of the arena.

The trio, who were seated front and centre, seemed to have a great time during the finals. The Crown Princess and Margeaux were even photographed having an animated conversation as a grinning Prince Alistair looks on (see top photo).

Anya inviting her siblings is not at all new. For years now, she has been accompanied by members of her family, including then Princess Eleanore. This is also not the first time she invited Alistair and his "plus one." Years ago, when the young Prince was dating Princess Katrine of Arendahl, the two snagged tickets from The Crown Princess for the Simbledon semi-finals. A Simbledon Arena employee shares:

"The Royal Box is THE place to be during Simbledon and it's reserved for our most important guests. One sure way to get invited into the Box is to be a guest of the Royal Patron herself. Royal Box seats are reserved and they're by invitation only."

And as it turns out, Anya is not at all stingy when it comes to invites, especially to her family and friends. So why then, did Alistair's ex-girlfriend, Ximena Kalarmy, never get an invite? She did date Prince Al for years. Was it a royal snub by Anya? An insider claims:

"When they first got together, Anya asked Al if he and Ximena wanted to join her during one of the matches. However, when Al asked Ximena, the latter said she didn't want to cause more controversy by making a public appearance, and that she didn't want to be torn down by the press for her outfit and her looks. When Al told Anya Ximena wasn't up for it and that he'd be skipping Simbledon that year, Anya didn't ask again. So Ximena never got an invite back. And my sources claim she wanted to attend the year after that. But this time around, when Anya asked if Al and Margeaux wanted to join her for the finals, both said yes. Margeaux plays tennis too and prior to dating the Prince, she was a staple at Simbledon, just not at the royal box."

So as it turns out, there was no "royal snub" initially, but once Ximena refused Anya's invite, it looks like she got the cold shoulder from Anya, at least where Simbledon Royal Box tickets are concerned! Can't say we can blame HRH... as the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy!

The Crown Princess looked stunning in green for her latest Simbledon outing, opting for a summery embroidered frock in a deep emerald hue. HRH went with with pearl and gold in the jewellery department, but the real star of the show was her hairdo, thanks to immaculate new caramel highlights. Her Royal Highness wore her hair down, set in perfect cascading waves.

We gotta say, we love the hair, we love the dress, and we love our generous Simbledon patron! Here's hoping we snag one of those coveted tickets for next year's match!

[its-vannah]

The Moment I Knew | Part One | Charlie Weasley x Reader

A/N: Hey loves! Here's a new mini series starring our favorite second born Weasley! I know I haven't finished Confessions, Harry's House, or the Regulus/Sirius series, but this'll be a short one before I get back to those. Enjoy!

Pairing: Charlie Weasley x Jacob's sibling! Reader (Hogwarts Mystery)

Summary: The oldest Weasley brothers have always been a big part of your life, so much so that you're in love with Bill. But when you get the invitation that he's getting married, you start to realize your true feelings—for Charlie

Warnings: Contains major spoilers for Hogwarts Mystery (don't read if you haven't made it to year 7/plan on playing)

For as long as you can remember, the Weasley's had been a monumental part of your life. Without them, you probably wouldn't have found your brother. And if you hadn't found your brother, his disappearance would've only made the hole in your chest larger.

And for as long as you had known the Weasley's, you'd been in love with the oldest son, Bill. It had happened fast. When Rowan had suggested getting his help with the cursed ice, you figured he'd be another set of hands. But he only added to that hole in your heart.

Whether he was fawning over Emily Tyler or off in Egypt, he was never with you. Not anymore, at least. You two had once been joined at the hip, but that all changed at the end of your fifth year. The year he said goodbye to Hogwarts and hello to curebreaking.

His departure had broken your heart, but he wasn't the only Weasley you could rely on. No, there was another that was there for you through thick and through thin. While you hadn't known him nearly as long as you had known Bill, Charlie Weasley was always there. And he was one of your best friends.

After Rowan's death and Ben's betrayal, he was one of the only shoulders you could lean on. When Penny left to work on being a potions master and Andre decided to become a Quidditch designer, you felt alone. Except you had Charlie.

Until he left for Romania to work at a dragon sanctuary. When he told you the news, he had been debating it. He felt bad being so far away from his family, but you urged him to go nonetheless—no matter how much it hurt to say goodbye.

You didn't realize at the time, but watching him walk away on the train platform made you feel something new. In that moment, you didn't want to admit defeat and accept that he was leaving. You didn't want to plant your feet in the ground and force a smile on your face. No, you wanted to run after him. You wanted to go with him, not sure of what the future would hold. Watching him leave broke your heart even further. But nothing could've prepared you for an invitation to the wedding of William Weasley and Fleur Delacour.

Gripping the piece of parchment in your hand, you read it a thousand times before setting it down in front of you. You could have made up an excuse. Bring an auror, they would've understood. But you loved Bill, more than you should, and you wanted to be there for his big day. While you didn't see him as much as you wished you could, he was still one of your best friends. You had to be there, even if it broke your heart.

There was only one problem: you didn't have anyone to go with. As much as you'd rather have gone through it alone, experienced the pain of watching the man you loved get married to another woman, you knew you couldn't just go in alone. It would be far too embarrassing if Molly Weasley tried to pair you up with a random guest.

So you sat down at your wooden desk, taking out a piece of parchment and a quill. Dipping the tip into ink, you set it to the paper, letting the ink flow over it, "Dear Charlie..."

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, May 3

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince William and Prince Harry: Showdown at Prince Philip's Funeral

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Alec Baldwin, Kathy Ireland, Conan O'Brien grabs lunch in West Hollywood

Page 3: Meg Ryan, Heather Graham, Jon Voight steps out in Beverly Hills

Page 4: Kris Jenner says her role as momager of the Kardashian clan is like being a fireman because she has to put out so many heated squabbles -- satisfying daughters Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner takes skill and Kourtney is often so fed up she fires her three or four times a day, but Kris believes she's done a good job, saying she's totally dedicated to her brood and spends oodles of time and energy going the extra mile for them

* Jailed Ghislaine Maxwell is raising a stink over federal lawmen's claims she's a prison piggy, saying the institution's busted sewer pipes, not her toilet habits, are responsible for the overwhelming stench in her cell -- lawyers for sex perv Jeffrey Epstein's accused madam and sex trafficker leveled the charge to flush out prosecutors' claims the socialite's cage stinks like a hog's pen because she doesn't flush her toilet -- her lawyer Bobbi Sternheim insists there was a pervasive stench of sewage in Ms. Maxwell's unit, necessitating guards to flush pipes by pouring water down open drains in an effort to trap and disperse gaseous emissions and at times the stench in Ms. Maxwell's isolation cell has been overwhelming due to overflowing of toilets in the cell block above -- as for Ghislaine flushing, she does it often, at the guards' bidding even, though she doesn't use the commode in her cell due to lack of privacy

Page 5: Kelly Clarkson's tacky tales of pooping in trash cans and other crude antics are grossing out her alarmed pals, who fear divorce stress is pushing the talk queen over the edge and while Kelly has loved to shock people, her cringeworthy behavior has gotten worse since filing for divorce from music manager Brandon Blackstock, father of her daughter River and son Remington -- now Kelly has many fearing she's finally flipped after recently telling talk show guest Clint Black on-air she destroyed a poor trash can by pooping in it during a quick backstage concert break and she's constantly making potty jokes and seems to get a rise out of shocking people and even by Kelly's standards, this was a step too far and people are urging her to scale back on the belching, farting and gross anecdotes because they're a turnoff and make her look trashy and her grueling workload and prickly divorce has manifested in this gross behavior where she can't seem to hold her tongue and blurts out whatever she's thinking without consideration for other people -- other stars like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are thinking twice before inviting her to social events and for talk show rivals like Ellen DeGeneres and Drew Barrymore, it's a dream seeing her push the boundaries of taste and Kelly doesn't have a filter and as long as she's got an audience she's just going to keep on doing it

Page 6: Macaulay Culkin is the daddy of a brand-new baby girl named Dakota, who is named after Macaulay's sister who died at 29 in a 2008 car crash, and she was delivered by Macaulay's lover actress Brenda Song

Page 7: Angelina Jolie has become a stressed-out single mom trying to care for her brood of six during the pandemic lockdown, and the strain is is showing on the 98-pound actress, but the 45-year-old, who shuns hiring a full-time nanny, still wants sole custody of her underage kids Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox and Vivienne, and is fighting tooth and nail with ex-husband Brad Pitt to get it; their oldest Maddox Jolie-Pitt is now 19 and considered independent although the university student frequently lives with his mother -- caring for the gang puts a big drain on Angelina's bank account and her custody war with Brad is costing a pretty penny -- Jolie and her children spend most of their time bunkered in a massive 7,500-square-foot Los Feliz mansion that boasts a huge library lined with resource books but the kids need to be separated so they can concentrate on their individual Zoom classes and someone is always hungry or needing help and at the end of the school day, when they are bored, they end up looking for Mom to find them something to do while she is trying to work on her own projects, and like most siblings, the kids fight or argue, and that can test any parent's nerves and Angie is with the kids pretty much 24/7 and it's taking a toll -- there is a glimmer of hope as schools are close to reopening and once the five youngest are back in school for several hours a day it will give Angelina the breaks she needs and hopefully she can hang tight until then

Page 8: Cover Story -- Prince William and Prince Harry bury Prince Philip, but not the ax -- despite their public displays of grief, bitter brothers William and Harry erupted in a raging royal screaming match behind the scenes of their grandfather's Prince Philip's funeral and Princess Diana's sons lashed out, accusing each other of ugly betrayals and destroying the royal family and the princes blamed each other's wives for igniting the family feud and their showdown was explosive and they're refusing to forgive or make peace and any hope Philip's death will end this feud is pie in the sky -- Harry and William were forced to reunite to mark the Duke of Edinburgh's passing and comfort their grandmother Queen Elizabeth, but that doesn't mean they're kissing and making up; far from it because Harry and his wife Meghan Markle have caused so much damage with their TV interview, it will take a lifetime to heal this rift -- sparks began flying almost immediately after Harry landed back in his homeland. He went straight to his former marital home Frogmore Cottage in Windsor to quarantine under COVID rules while William and his wife Duchess Kate Middleton and their three children were holed up at their country home Anmer House in Norfolk, about 100 miles away, but that didn't stop the once-inseparable brothers exploding in fury at each other during a video call finalizing funeral arrangements -- William and Harry knew they'd have to walk together behind the cortege to honor their grandfather, but that was where their reunion ended and while their grieving grandmother and royal relatives mourned the loss of the family patriarch, William and Harry's pent-up anger and frustrations exploded as, on the same side of the Atlantic for the first time in over a year, William blasted Harry and Meghan for bad-mouthing his wife Kate and selfishly trying to destroy the monarchy and he reamed Harry for not visiting their grandfather in his final days and using the funeral as a publicity stunt while Harry retaliated by accusing his brother of throwing him and Meghan under the bus and vowed never to talk to him again -- instead of an expected joint public statement praising their beloved grandfather, they issued separate tributes, which underlined their split as in their statement, William and Kate reminisced about Philip taking their children for horse-drawn carriage rides and they vowed to support the queen in the years ahead and that was a dig at Harry and Meghan, who can't help the queen due to their self-imposed exile to California and it was also a shot because Harry's son Archie has spent no time with his royal relatives since his birth almost two years ago -- Philip's death has only intensified this horrific feud and this war is far from over, and may never be

Page 10: Prince Philip went to his grave regretting he couldn't stop Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle from ripping the royal family in a bombshell TV interview -- The Duke of Edinburgh called the explosive tell-all madness and he had some sympathy for Harry and Meghan's desire to do their own thing, but he thought they were wrong and he hated Harry and Meghan's preoccupation with their own problems and their willingness to talk about them in public; one of his rules was give interviews but don't talk about yourself -- Philip loved Harry and thought him a good man, but he did not believe they were doing the right thing for the country or themselves when they quit royal duties and Philip died worrying the explosive interview permanently damaged the monarchy and he deeply regretted he wasn't able to prevent the scandal

* Outraged Prince Philip shunned his son Prince Andrew's ex-wife Duchess Sarah Ferguson for the last 19 years of his life after she was caught cheating in raunchy photos that went public -- Philip considered Fergie beyond the pale and refused to have anything to do with her and when Sarah was staying at Balmoral Castle with her daughters, her ex-father-in-law would run from a room she'd entered and Fergie said it was ridiculous because as soon as she came through one door, he'd be falling over the corgis to get out of the other and she added it was very funny, except, of course, it wasn't -- the only time they appeared together in public was at Prince Harry's 2018 wedding, 26 years after Fergie was photographed lounging topless while her then lover John Bryan sucked on her toes on the French Riviera; she and Andrew were separated at the time

Page 11: Marie Osmond is getting the last laugh on rival Sharon Osbourne after the big-mouthed Brit, who chased off Marie from The Talk, was booted from the chat show in a racism scandal -- while Marie doesn't wish ill on anyone, she certainly isn't feeling any sympathy for Sharon's plight -- in public, Marie has never said a harsh word about Sharon, and never blamed her co-star with pushing her off The Talk, but behind the scenes, Sharon made mild-mannered Marie's life hell, which chased her away and Marie still cringes from the whole experience of working with the brash former reality diva, more than seven months after leaving the show and Marie doesn't want to stoke the fire, but it's kind of satisfying in a way that Sharon's finally being exposed for what she is: a snippy, smug phony

* Chaka Khan was the first celeb booted on Season 21 of Dancing with the Stars in 2015, and it's no wonder because she was a lousy partner, claims pro hoofer Keo Motsepe -- Keo slammed the singer for demanding they only rehearse around midnight, because that's when the night owl was used to going to the record studio and laying down tracks -- Keo accepted the challenge but now calls Chaka his worst partner ever

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Jane Lynch eats lunch in West Hollywood (picture), Khloe Kardashian is getting called out for her attempt to erase a bathing suit snap that revealed some very real body dimples and famous for posting airbrushed and filtered photos depicting her as flawless she went berserk over the unedited pic summoning legal eagles to get the image scrubbed off the internet but she drew colossal backlash, Sutton Stracke of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills got promoted to series regular and impressed producers by making ousted castmate Teddi Mellencamp cry by branding her boring, fired New York Housewife Dorinda Medley has lost 14 pounds, Lil Nas X's limited-edition designer Satan Shoes which commanded $1,018 when they hit the market are now deader than a doornail after legal pressure from Nike

Page 13: Dean Cain sports a Superman-style logo on his hoodie as he bums around Malibu (picture), Annabella Sciorra shoots an episode of Blue Bloods in NYC (picture), co-anchor T.J. Holmes shows his tongue on the Good Morning America set (picture), Olympic champ Lindsey Vonn admits skiing was a slippery slope when she started mingling with the beautiful people of Hollywood

Page 14: Brooklyn Decker proves she going gray at just 34 and she's kinda digging it, Kathryn Dennis trying to prove she's comfortable in the natural skin she's in shared pics from her first-ever bikini photo shoot and actually points out imperfections

* Fashion Verdict -- Zoe Saldana 6/10, Kelsea Ballerini 3/10, Jessica Madsen 7/10, Joy Bauer 2/10

Page 17: Eddie Cibrian is incredibly proud of wife LeAnn Rimes for baring the truth about her battle with psoriasis in a naked photo -- Eddie applauds how LeAnn let it all hang out for a photo shoot to show solidarity with other people with the scaly skin disease who are ashamed and want to hide it -- LeAnn has described the horrors of hiding her painful, crusty rashes, saying onstage she'd wear two pairs of pantyhose or jeans, even in 95-degree heat and underneath her shirt, her whole stomach would be covered in thick scales that would hurt and bleed, and the pandemic worsened her condition because stress is a common trigger for psoriasis, and with so much uncertainty happening, her flare-ups came right back

Page 19: 10 Things You Don't Know About Catherine O'Hara

* Sylvester Stallone may have gone his final round as boxing great Rocky Balboa as his reps reveal the actor has thrown in the towel and won't reprise his iconic role in the upcoming Creed III -- in the Creed spinoffs, retired fighter Rocky trained Adonis "Donnie" Creed, the son of his onetime rival

* Dr. Dre hit back against the abuse claims of estranged wife Nicole Young, slamming her allegations as appalling in recently filed court documents in their ugly $1 billion divorce -- in the docs, Dre charges Nicole hurled the accusations only after realizing their prenup may prevent her from getting half his money, but Nicole insists the rapper forced her to ink the agreement, a charge he also denies

Page 23: Caitlyn Jenner is refining her image ahead of her run for governor in California by reducing her massive breasts to look more conservative -- she wants to downgrade her E cups to a more respectable C cup because she's been worried for a while they are way too big within the context of her body and draw unflattering stares and running for the California governor's office is serious and she wants people to listen and look at her face, not her boobs and the truth is, the implants have been weighing her down and giving her back pain too, so this makes sense in more ways than one -- Caitlyn will be slowly abandoning other cosmetic procedures and she would like to wean herself off filters and Botox too, but that'll be a gradual process that she'll do as time goes by and the big thing here is that she wants to look more natural and relatable for voters

* Nearly half of America is ready to vote Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson into the White House -- 46 percent of voters are ready to rock and roll with the 49-year-old former WWE wrestler as their prez -- in his new sitcom Young Rock, Dwayne plays himself as a future candidate for the Oval Office, but in real life he has admitted he is seriously considering a run for the top job

Page 24: New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, now facing two separate investigations into sexual harassment charges made by at least eight female staffers, is accused of cheating on longtime love Sandra Lee -- there's obviously a reason Sandra moved to California; she literally could not have moved farther away from Andrew; she's on the edge of the Pacific

Page 30: Grace Kelly died nearly flat broke -- the Hollywood starlet gave up millions to marry Prince Rainier of Monaco, and when she died at the age of 52, her only assets were a cottage in Ireland, owned by her grandfather, and $10,000 -- in 1956, she married into Monaco's royal family after coughing up a $2 million dowry, which is about $20 million today, and walking away from a glittering career -- according to a new documentary, her Hollywood earnings have disappeared as during her film career, Grace's total earnings could have reached $1.5 million, earnings that appear to be entirely missing from her will, but thanks to Grace, Monaco's royal family has cashed in big-time as her son Prince Albert II has an estimated net worth of $i billion and his wife Charlene Wittstock is rumored to be worth $150 million -- most people think of Grace Kelly's story as a fairy tale, going from Hollywood and suddenly being whisked off to a lot of wealth, but what is so poignant is that she had to pay to become a princess

* LeVar Burton may soon be helming a new enterprise: Jeopardy! -- nearly 200,000 people have signed an online petition supporting LeVar to replace the game show's late host Alex Trebek and LeVar supports the idea himself

Page 32: Kirstie Alley had two husbands and once claimed she was crazy about John Travolta, but for decades she secretly carried a torch for a married man: Patrick Swayze -- Kirstie described Patrick as the one that got away and truly believes they would have been together until his 2009 death at age 57 if things worked out differently and she says her love for Patrick began on the set of the 1985 miniseries North and South where she thought he was the most handsome, sexy, kind person she'd ever met, and each day on the set, she began to fall more and more in love but at the time they were married to other people: Patrick had his wife Lisa Niemi and Kirstie was married to Hardy Boys actor Parker Stevenson, her second husband -- Kirstie and Patrick shared a deep emotional affair and confessed their love, but never actually cheated on their spouses and Kirstie said they had an affair of the heart -- Patrick and Kirstie played lovers on the series and you can see the chemistry and at least once a year Kirstie watches the series and reminisces about the time she spent with him -- she says she cried for months after his death and she and his wife Lisa eventually became friends and even today, Kirstie wonders what would have happened if she and Patrick had not been married to other people

Page 36: Sally Struthers reveals she quit Save the Children charity after she was nearly murdered by a gang of bloodthirsty rebels during a trip to visit African orphans -- Sally was a roving ambassador for the charity for 35 years until a terrifying incident in Uganda where she was filming ads with a boy, who'd come from a remote village, when suddenly a roving band of guerrilla warfare guys came out of the bushes and asked the boy where he was from and he named his village, which was far away, and they decided they had kidnapped him, and they were going to shoot all of them and Sally was terrified and figured she was a goner, but a priest with her group told her to slowly walk off while never turning her back on the terrorists and as she walked, he convinced the gunmen to let them alone and at that point, Sally, who had a daughter Samantha from her six-year marriage to shrink William C. Radar thought she's been on so many little airplanes that could have crashed and in so many horrible situations and she's got a child, a real-life child of her own, and she can't do it anymore

* Usher is being accused of stiffing Las Vegas strippers by tipping them with fake money with his moniker and mug on the bills -- the flap exploded with a Twitter post slamming the singer for handing out Usherbucks in $100, $20 and $1 bills at the club Sapphire Las Vegas but club honcho George M. Wilson denies the charge, saying Usher, who stars at Caesars Palace stating in July, was a true gentleman and great guest and he and his crew converted thousands of real dollars to tip the girls dancing on the stage and left a generous tip for staff and apparently someone in his team left some Usher dollars on the floor to promote his Vegas residency and that is where it seems the confusion came in

Page 40: Val Kilmer is shooting for more than a career comeback after bouncing back from throat cancer; he is also looking for love -- Val admits he doesn't sound like he used to following a tracheotomy, but he insists he feels a lot better than he sounds but his voice is a raspy, grating sound, and he's forced to eat through a feeding tube, but he feels that shouldn't matter with the right woman -- the actor, who is slated to appear in the upcoming Top Gun: Maverick, is pumped up about working again, but it's dawned on him that he's missing one other thing, love, and the single star feels more energy now than ever before and there are things he'd like to do with a partner, like travel more -- Val regrets some of the things he did in the past and he was difficult and selfish, but his whole cancer ordeal has made him a better man and more open and giving but it's been a long, long time since he had a girlfriend, let alone even kissed a woman, but with the support and encouragement of his kids and friends, he's ready to put himself out there

* Fans are saying Christopher Meloni has one of the most remarkable rears on TV after a photo surfaced showcasing his awe-inspiring ass-ets -- a shot of the Law & Order: Organized Crime star in skintight jeans sparked a Twitter-storm where fans of his fanny let loose about his sculpted caboose

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Holly Madison is blabbing about her eight years as Hugh Hefner's No. 1 squeeze in the Playboy Mansion, and, if he were still alive, the king of skin mags would hate that he pretty much comes off as a dirty old lech

Page 45: Paula Abdul was a nervous wreck during her American Idol comeback, but she was not so jittery she couldn't brand her former co-judge Simon Cowell an STD -- special guest Randy Jackson and Simon previously teamed with Paula in the 2000s to make the talent show the biggest hit on TV, and Paula temporarily resumed her role after Luke Bryan tested positive for COVID-19, but when Randy told Paula seeing her on set seems like old times, she blurted "We're just missing the STD," and the remark caught host Ryan Seacrest off-guard as he held a computer device linking Paula and Randy, who was not physically present and Ryan exclaimed, "The what?!" and at that point Paula joked she meant it was an abbreviation for Super Talented, Debonair not sexually transmitted disease -- Paula also referred to Simon, who's only three years her senior, as a grandfather and while Paula seemed in the swing of things, joining the current Idol panel of Katy Perry and Lionel Richie, she was reportedly a bundle of nerves backstage before her comeback show and it was like she'd never done it before, and her pals couldn't believe it; they told her she had more experiencing judging than anyone out there