#he's fine though but I know some folks might find it a bit much

[theamazingsallyhogan]

[punkshort]

i know who you are | 2. the journal

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Your memories still remain out of reach, so you ask Joel to tell you a bit about yourself, and with the help of a journal you kept, you begin to learn more about the person you became in the past ten years, leaving you with more questions than answers.

Chapter Warnings: language, eating, alcohol use, angst, pining, sad!Joel, amnesia

WC: 6.3K

Series Masterlist

"Did'ya get any sleep?"

You glanced up at Joel as you walked side by side towards the dining hall.

"No," you admitted, looking straight ahead again.

After Joel left you in his - your - bedroom, instructing you to rest on his way out, you found you could do anything but. Your mind was spinning with all of the information you had just learned, and you weren't sure which topic consumed you more: the end of the world or the supposed love of your life.

The longer his words set in, the more you were finding it difficult to look at him. It was such a strange feeling, having this large, burly, gruff man proclaim his love for you, to say he would stop at nothing to make you feel the same way, to insist you were meant for each other. It seemed so out of character, though you hardly felt like you knew him. But even now as you walked down the street, you noticed how some of the people in town glanced at him. Moving quickly out of his way.

It wasn't just you who found him intimidating.

You were distracted as you walked, curiously peering into storefronts and repurposed buildings when a group of children playing a game of tag nearly ran into you. At the last moment, Joel tugged your arm, pulling you into his side just in time. The children seemed to realize their mistake because their laughter quickly stopped and the smiles fell from their faces as they looked up at him.

"We're sorry, Mr. Miller," a young boy no more than eight years old said.

Miller. You never even bothered to ask his last name.

Joel just grunted and they scurried away, no doubt eager to escape his glare. You chanced a look at him, studying his stern expression when you realized he was still holding you against him. He was warm. Warmer than you expected. And solid. You cleared your throat and stepped away from his grasp, muttering your thanks and glancing around the busy street to avoid the disappointed look in his eye when it became clear you weren't comfortable with him touching you.

You shoved your hands in the pockets of your jeans and continued to walk in silence down the main road. A few people shot you curious looks or did double takes as they walked by, and you had to assume if Ellie heard the news about your accident, then others had, as well.

The Tipsy Bison came into view at the corner of the street, made obvious by the large crowds of people gathered outside.

"Does everyone have to eat here or are you allowed to have food in your homes?" you asked him, and he looked down at you, surprised by the question.

"We got food. It's not like a prison or somethin'," he said with a chuckle. "Most folks like to come here to socialize, but sometimes we cook dinner at home," he stopped short when he realized he never asked you what you preferred. "Did'ya wanna stay home instead?"

"No, this is fine," you told him over your shoulder.

"You sure? Maybe it's too much right now," he replied, jogging a bit to keep up.

"I'm sure. You won't leave me, right?" you asked, looking at him nervously.

"'Course not," he said, trying to hide his grin. He liked that you wanted him around, even if it was only because you didn't know anybody else. It was a start.

When Joel swung the door open, holding it wide so you could enter first, it might have been your imagination but you thought the loud chatter simultaneously died down for a split second. Then Joel stepped in beside you and the volume rose once again.

You wanted to look around and take in the rustic atmosphere but you could feel the eyes on you as Joel led you through the crowd, the scrutiny making you feel extremely out of place, so you kept your gaze pinned straight ahead. Following dutifully behind, you watched as people automatically moved out of his way, like he was Moses parting the Red Sea, until he reached a table in a somewhat quiet corner of the dining hall. He pulled out a chair and stood behind it, his hand still resting on the back, and it took you a second to realize he was waiting for you to sit so he could push it in. You quietly thanked him then finally looked around the room.

The dining room had tables scattered around, and as far as you could see, they all appeared to be taken. People were standing in groups, drinking and laughing and eating and you wondered how in the world your table wasn't taken. You were about to turn and ask when an older man approached your table.

"Hey guys," he said, pulling out a pad of paper from his pocket. "What'll it be?"

You went wide eyed for a moment, looking around trying to figure out what your choices were when, much to your relief, Joel spoke for you both.

"Still got any of that stew left?"

"Sure do. Few guys got lucky earlier today, too. Got two deer, so we'll be havin' more soon," he replied, jotting something down on his paper. "Two whiskies?"

Joel was about to nod when you spoke up for the first time.

"Just water for me, thanks," you said, and the man nodded his head.

"Thanks, Seth," Joel said as he walked away.

You glanced at Joel quickly, awkwardly catching his eye. It felt too much like a date. Dropping your gaze to the table, you tried to think of something to say.

"Probably a good idea, skippin' alcohol," he said. "Didn't even think about it, what with your head and all."

"Yeah," you said, your hand coming up to gently touch the stitches. "Besides, I don't like whiskey, anyway," you added. Joel laughed softly as he watched you shift nervously in your chair.

"What?" you asked with a frown.

"Nothin'," he replied, still staring at you in disbelief. "Just ever since you got here you've been tossin' back whiskey better than most of the men. You must've gotten a taste for it at some point."

"There's no way," you said, scrunching your nose when Seth put down Joel's glass in front of him. He stared down at it wistfully, swirling the amber liquid in the glass, lost in thought.

"Whiskey's how we first met," he said softly, still staring at the glass. You tilted your head towards him, waiting for him to continue. "When you first arrived, you were like a caged animal. You came here lookin' to blow off steam," he said with a distant smile. "It was a slow night. Just you and me and a handful of others. You were tossin' that shit back like it was nothin'."

You watched him as he reminisced. His eyes shone brightly and a small smile played on his lips, it almost felt like you were intruding on something special.

"When me and Ellie first arrived, no one really went outta their way to talk to me. I preferred it that way. Was used to bein' on my own," he continued, looking up at you now. "But that night, you sat down next to me at the bar like you had been waitin' for me or somethin'. You asked me if I was drinkin' for fun or drinkin' to forget. Those were the very first words you said to me."

You were completely silent as he spoke. The way he told it, it felt like you could see the scene playing out right before you, the way he remembered every detail left you in awe.

"What did you say?" you asked a little breathlessly.

The corner of his mouth twitched and he looked down at the table.

"Drinkin' to forget."

You waited for him to elaborate, but when it became apparent he wasn't going to, you asked him another question.

"Then what happened?"

He raised his eyebrows and hummed, a slow smile stretching across his face before he answered.

"You told me you could help me have fun and help me forget," he said, and you could feel the heat instantly flush your cheeks.

"Oh, my god," you murmured, covering your mouth, utterly mortified. "Please tell me you're joking."

He shook his head, still smiling at the memory. You glanced around the room, trying to look anywhere but at him.

"So then, did we...?" you trailed off, gaze still fixed on a spot on the wall.

"Oh, yeah. 'Course we did. I'm no saint," he chuckled.

"Jesus Christ," you said, burying your face in your hands. "That doesn't sound like me at all."

"It's not. Well, not anymore. You had an edge to you when you first arrived. Most do. Survivin' out there does that to you," he said, taking his first sip of whiskey.

You sat in silence for another minute, contemplating asking him what he knew about your life before you met him, but ultimately deciding against it. Maybe another time.

"Where's the bathroom?" you asked him, and he pointed down a small hallway near the bar. You thanked him, his eyes trailing after you as you made your way through the crowds, only dropping his gaze once you were no longer in view. It was a strange thing, recounting stories for you like that. At first, the memories made him smile, but once he saw the lost look on your face he felt the sadness creep back up, settling deep in his chest, and he wondered if he would ever get you back.

You knew you were in the bathroom too long. You knew he would likely be worried, but you just couldn't stop staring at your reflection in the mirror after you washed your hands. Who was this person staring back at you? She looked older and weathered and tired. Your fingertip gently prodded at the bags under your eyes and then a small scar on your chin. What happened to you out there to make you the person Joel was describing? What did you have to do to survive? And did you really want to know the answer?

The door swung open, startling you as three girls around your age entered the bathroom. Their giggles stopped when they saw you and you watched them exchange glances in the mirror before a pretty girl with long, blonde hair greeted you by name. Turning around, you gave her a smile, hoping they would go about their business so you could slip out of there, but of course the pretty girl wanted to talk.

"We heard you had an accident, are you okay?" she asked, and she sounded sincere, but something about her smile made you think twice.

"Yeah, got a few stitches but it should be fine," you said, your eyes flicking to the other two girls, giving them each a smile. They looked at each other and smirked before heading towards the bathroom stalls, leaving you with just the blonde.

"So, is it true? Did you really lose your memory?" she asked, her voice low as if it were a secret, and finally you were able to pick up the vibe. You had been to high school before the outbreak. You had encounters with these types of girls before. Friendly to your face, vicious behind your back.

"Uh, yeah," you admitted, and she gasped as if she felt bad, but you saw the way her eyes lit up.

"So you don't remember, like, anything?"

"Well, I remember before everything went to hell," you told her, "but I don't remember this place, no."

"Oh, wow," she said, and you heard the toilets flush before the other two girls exited the stalls, grinning conspiratorially at the blonde. "So you don't know anybody here?"

You shook your head, feeling uncomfortable with the line of questioning at this point. What was she really getting at?

"That must mean you don't remember Joel, right?" one of the girls at the sink piped up. You looked at her briefly over your shoulder and shook your head, turning back to the blonde but not before you caught the look in her eye.

"Oh, that's too bad," she said, giving you a pout. "Does that mean you aren't together anymore, or-"

Suddenly, the door swung open and Ellie stormed in. Her hard gaze drifted around to the three girls and she gave them a look of disgust.

"Scram, vultures," she told them, and the blonde made a face at her before flipping her hair over her shoulder and heading to one of the stalls. Ellie called your name and you scurried over, allowing her to lead you back out into the dining room but not before she gave the other two girls a few choice words.

"Don't talk to them, they're nasty," she told you as you weaved your way through the crowd. Joel's eyes instantly found you once you were in view and you saw him straighten up in his chair.

"You okay?" he asked, and you could see the genuine concern in his face as you sat down. You were about to answer when Ellie plopped down on the other side of him and spoke first.

"Angie and her little sidekicks cornered her in there," she explained, rolling her eyes. "Already sniffing around for scraps."

"What do you mean?" you asked her, but just then Seth arrived with your meals and you never got an answer.

"Stew again?" Ellie asked, scrunching up her nose.

"It's good," Joel told her before taking a bite. You looked down at the bowl and you were inclined to agree with Ellie, but you swallowed the food down anyway, just grateful for something to eat after such a long day.

"Aren't you going to eat?" you asked her, noticing she hadn't ordered anything and instead was busy sketching in a journal.

"Nah, I'm going to Dina's later, I'll eat there," she explained without looking up.

"Who's Dina?"

"Oh, my girlfriend," Ellie explained, glancing up at you briefly. "Sorry. I still can't get used to this. It's so weird you don't remember."

"Don't be out too late. You got school tomorrow," Joel reminded her. Even though he wasn't Ellie's father, he seemed to have quite the knack for being a dad.

"Yes, sir," she said sarcastically, giving him a weak, two-fingered salute before hunching back over her journal. You heard some familiar giggles coming from somewhere behind you, and when you turned to look, you locked eyes with the blonde girl from the bathroom - Angie - who was holding some drink in her hand, her two friends flanking her sides as she strolled past your table. Her eyes drifted briefly to Joel before she passed by, then turned her attention to her friends, disappearing into the crowd.

"Who is that?" you asked, realizing you never really got much of an explanation. Joel and Ellie responded at the same time.

"Nobody."

"Joel's ex."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as Joel glared at Ellie.

"What? She woulda found out eventually," Ellie protested.

"She ain't even an ex," he said, turning to you now. "Just a mistake I made one time before you even got here," he insisted. The tone in his voice made it sound like he was trying to reassure you there was nothing to worry about, but of course, the information didn't phase you.

"Okay," you replied with a shrug. He examined your blank stare for a moment, searching for a glimmer of recognition. The disappointment in his expression every time something like this happened was becoming too much to bear, so you dragged your eyes off him to glance around the crowded room once again. You found Tommy leaning against the bar and you stood up.

"Where are you goin'?"

"I need to ask Tommy something," you said. "I'll be right back."

His eyes followed you as you pushed your way towards the bar, his heart feeling like it was going to break. He wasn't exactly looking for you to have an overly jealous reaction to hearing about another woman from his past, but your casual indifference hurt more than he expected. When you first found out about Angie, you insisted you weren't jealous but the way you sneered at her going forward, combined with giving him the best sex of his life later that night told him a different story.

"You think she'll ever get her memory back?" Ellie asked, still focusing on her drawing. Joel sighed and dragged his hands down his face.

"I don't know, kid."

"What'd you need to talk to Tommy for?" Joel asked once you both arrived back to his - your - home. You had wandered into the kitchen, Joel hot on your trail.

"Oh, I just had a question about something I saw when we were out there today," you explained, and he raised an eyebrow for you to continue. "There were dead bodies when I came to. They looked all decayed and... subhuman. Now that you told me about the infection, I wanted to ask."

Joel watched you open and close cupboards until you found the glasses, then picked one out to fill with water.

"So you ran into some runners," he said, and you nodded. "Did he happen to mention how you hit your head?"

Your hand froze, your glass halfway to your lips as you considered his question.

"Actually, no, he didn't," you said, setting down the glass and looking up at him.

"Yeah, he didn't really tell me, either," he replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "When he told me you hit your head and you were havin' trouble remeberin' things, I just came runnin'."

Guilt washed over you yet again as you thought about Joel being told the news and how panicked he must have been. He practically ripped all the exam room doors off their hinges to find you, only to be met with a stranger when he finally did.

"Well, I can ask him tomorrow," you finally said, putting your glass in the sink to avoid looking at him.

"Yeah," he replied, trailing off a bit. He was still lost in thought, trying to remember Tommy's exact words when you walked past him towards the stairs.

"You're tired?"

"Well, it's been a long day," you told him, pausing on a stair to look back down at him.

"Right, 'course," he said, shaking his head and following you up. When you got to the doorway of his bedroom you paused, looking up at him. It seemed like he was struggling to say something, his mind working hard to find the words, but instead he just gazed down at you, brown eyes all wide and soft.

"Don't suppose anythin's comin' back to you yet?" he finally asked, and you hated seeing that look. That same hopeful look you kept seeing right before you opened your mouth and crushed him. This was hard for him, you knew that, but the way he kept looking at you was making things so much worse. The pressure you felt to become this person he was expecting you to be was overwhelming. You opted to drop your gaze to the floor and slowly shake your head.

"That's okay," he said, and you dragged your eyes back up to him. "Maybe tomorrow."

You gave him a small smile. "Yeah, maybe."

He sighed and glanced at the door to the spare room.

"You need anythin', I'm right next door," he said, hitching his thumb to the side and giving you a lopsided grin, but you could still see it in his eyes. The disappointment. The sadness. The yearning. And it was making you feel sick.

Just as he turned to head towards the spare room, you spoke. "Joel?"

And he eagerly swiveled back around.

"I'm gonna try really hard to remember," you said earnestly, looking deep into his eyes.

"I know," he replied with a sad smile. He gave you one more look before heading into the spare room and softly closing the door behind him.

Joel slept like shit.

No surprise there, really. He hadn't slept without you in years. He had hoped the whiskey would have helped, but he was wrong. His mind was racing as he tossed and turned, and by morning he had foolishly convinced himself that you would be back to normal after a good night's rest. He got up early and made coffee for the two of you, like he always did, then tended to the fire in the living room. The nights and early mornings were frigid, but the days were warm. The first sign that fall was approaching fast. He was just putting the poker back when he heard the bedroom door creak open upstairs and his heart jumped into his throat excitedly, but when you descended the stairs and locked eyes with him, he knew nothing had changed. He didn't even bother to ask. You didn't look at him the same way you used to. You used to smile and gravitate towards him, your hands always seeking out his, your eyes playful and loving, but now you looked at him like he was a complete stranger. Devoid of all affection, the only thing that remained was a forced politeness.

You said good morning and headed into the kitchen and Joel wondered how long it would take for you to come around. Less than a day ago, you looked at him in fear, but now you seemed at least comfortable in his presence. That had to count for something.

He must have looked like shit because when he joined you in the kitchen, you eyed him up and down curiously.

"Have you been up for a while?"

He shook his head and picked up his mug, taking a sip and hoping the caffeine would bring him back to life.

"How's your head?" he asked.

"Not great," you admitted, pouring your own cup of coffee. "It really hurts. I think whatever meds the doctor gave me yesterday wore off."

Without even thinking, Joel quickly closed the distance between you to examine your injury. You startled a bit when he came up behind you and lifted your hair, but for his benefit, you tamped down your reaction. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he gripped the nape of your neck to angle your head downwards in order to get a better look. You closed your eyes and held your breath as you focused on his fingertips pressing tenderly into your skin. You heard him murmur to himself, the sound coming from deep within his chest, and you realized just how close he really was. Aside from pulling you out of the way so the kids playing tag wouldn't knock you down, it was the first time he had really touched you, and he was so much softer than you expected.

"Don't think it's infected but let's go see the doc, just to be sure," he said, his hand still on your neck, his other hand pushing your hair away.

"Okay," you said quietly, finally allowing yourself to take in a shaky breath as you waited for him to release you.

As if he realized what he was doing, he let your hair fall back into place and let go of your neck, his fingertips lightly trailing down your spine before falling to his side, making you shiver and step away.

"Sorry," he said. "Should've asked to look first."

"It's fine," you told him, absentmindedly rubbing the spot on your neck his fingers just touched.

As you walked side by side to the infirmary, his stony expression slid back into place. Gone was the softness you witnessed in his home. His hardened gaze drifted around the street, then to the watch towers, taking everything in. Studying. Calculating. And that was when you realized there were two Joel Millers: the one who the rest of the town viewed as gruff and callous, and the one you saw in the kitchen that morning, soft and gentle.

You wondered how many people got to see the latter version.

Nick examined you again in the same room as before, but this time, Joel was there watching his every move like a hawk. You could practically see the tension radiating off Nick's shoulders as he moved around the room. He examined your cut carefully, Joel's eyes never once leaving his hands, confirming that it was not infected before parceling out ten little white tablets of extra strength Tylenol into a small baggie and advising you to use them sparingly as inventory was low.

"That's it?" Joel asked incredulously.

"You know how it is, Joel," Nick said, but you heard his voice waver when Joel stood up from his chair. "Meds are hard to come by, we gotta be smart-"

"She hit her goddamn head so fuckin' hard she's lucky she remembers her own name and you're givin' her Tylenol?" he seethed, and you could see his neck growing flush with anger again.

"Joel, calm down, it's fine," you said, sliding off the table. Turning to Nick, you were about to voice your thanks when Joel cut you off.

"It ain't fine. What's it gotta take to get somethin' that actually works?" he huffed, taking a step forward and making Nick shift his weight nervously. "She gotta be missin' an arm? Maybe if she hit her head hard enough to forget what fuckin' planet she's on?"

"Joel, that's enough!" you snapped with a frown, and much to Nick's relief, Joel instantly backed off. He turned and paced around the small room, his hand rubbing over his mouth as he tried to calm down.

"What about my memory? Is it a bad sign I haven't remembered anything yet?" you asked Nick, and Joel paused somewhere behind you to listen to his answer.

"Well, the brain is a tricky thing," he began, his eyes darting over your shoulder briefly. "It could be weeks, could be months. Without any imaging, I wouldn't be able to tell you much more than that." You nodded and swallowed nervously before asking your next question.

"Or never, right?"

Nick took a deep breath and looked at Joel over your shoulder again before responding.

"It's possible."

You heard Joel's boots squeak against the linoleum floor and without even looking, you knew he was anxiously pacing around again.

"Alright, thank you. We'll get out of your hair now," you said, turning to corral Joel towards the door.

"Regardless, I'd like to see you again in a few days so I can take a look at those stitches," Nick said, and you agreed while pushing a muttering Joel back out into the hallway.

"I'll get you better meds," he said as you both walked out of the infirmary. "I got patrol tomorrow mornin', but I can go out after. There's a small cluster of houses we never did a full sweep on. Maybe-"

"The Tylenol is fine, don't go through the trouble. You could get hurt," you said, shoving the baggie of pills into your pocket.

"Tylenol ain't gonna do shit. I don't want you bein' in pain if there's somethin' we can do about it."

You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck, trying to temporarily relieve the ache in your head until you could get home and take one of the pills. You gave Joel a sideways glance, studying him as you walked together. He was brash and rude and aggressive, but you were learning that side of him came out when he was being protective over the ones he loved.

Or when he was trying to hide who he really was.

"So, everyone pitches in around here, right?" you asked, trying to change the subject. "You do patrol. What do I do?"

You paused at a crossroads, trying to remember which way to go, when Joel's hand on your elbow guided you in the right direction.

"You work patrol, too, but you ain't doin' that anymore," he said, letting go of your elbow after holding on for a moment too long.

"Well, obviously. I don't even know how to ride a horse," you said with a snort. "So I guess I need to find a new job, right? Who do I talk to?"

"Why don't you slow down a minute?" Joel said with a chuckle. "Let that pretty little head of yours heal up before you go lookin' for work."

You weren't going to say anything about his comment. Although it took you off guard, you realized he had habits that were going to be hard to ignore and you didn't expect that to happen overnight, but he seemed to realize what he said on his own and awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Sorry," he said softly.

"It's okay. I know this is difficult for you," you said, shooting him a sympathetic glance as you climbed his porch steps. He swung open the door and followed you inside, where you made a beeline for a glass of water so you could take one of the pills.

"We got a lotta history, you and me. It's hard to start over," he said as he watched you toss back the Tylenol with a wince. You examined his face closely and pulled out one of the stools to sit down. You leaned forward, forearms resting on the cool countertop before replying.

"Tell me a story."

He raised an eyebrow at you but couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from turning up a bit.

"What kinda story?"

"A story about us. You just said we have a lot of history together. Let's hear some of it," you replied with an encouraging smile.

"You sure? Thought you'd wanna go lay down," he said, but he eagerly pulled up a stool across from you.

"I think I can handle one little story," you told him, then watched as he stared down at his hands on top of the counter, deep in thought. When he thought of one, a slow smile spread across his face and his dark brown eyes flicked up to meet yours and you saw that softer side of him again.

"Alright," he said, settling back a bit. "So I told'ya last night how we met."

You cringed, remembering the story of a much bolder and seductive version of yourself, and nodded.

"Well, after that night we started seein' each other for a few weeks. It was just casual, nothin' serious," he said, looking down at his hands again. "I convinced you to sneak around so no one would catch on, and you grew tired of that. Rightfully so. I was bein' an asshole."

You watched him pull at a loose thread on the cuff of his flannel shirt, his eyes still cast down and you were beginning to realize it was due to shame.

"So anyway. One day you came over to, y'know..." he said, and you felt the heat in your cheeks again. "And you confronted me about it head on. Demanded to know why I wanted to keep you a secret. Thought I was ashamed of you - which I wasn't," he said quickly, his eyes finally meeting yours again. "But I had been through a lot of shit and I just didn't think I could give myself to someone like that again."

"What kind of shit?" you asked quietly, but he just lightly shook his head.

"One story at a time," he told you with a sad smile. You chewed on your lower lip as you waited for him to continue, his focus back on the loose string while he collected his thoughts.

"So I explained I had a hard time lettin' people in, that I wasn't capable of carin' 'bout anyone like that anymore, and you said to me, 'I know who you are, Joel Miller. Don't give me that bullshit, you're just scared.'"

He stared into your eyes, letting what he said land and hoping to see a flicker of the woman who spoke those words, but you just continued to look at him, waiting for him to finish the story like it was about somebody else entirely.

"Well, you were right, obviously. You always are," he continued with a smirk. "It knocked me on my ass. And I didn't know what was more difficult to believe: that you knew me better than I knew myself, or someone like you wanted anythin' to do with me in the first place."

You smiled and dropped your gaze to the counter, suddenly feeling shy.

"I'm not saying I don't believe you, but so far, these stories don't sound like me at all," you admitted.

He took a deep breath and finally stopped fidgeting with his sleeve.

"A lot's happened in ten years. Stuff that changes people. But I don't care what version of you's here, I love all of you."

You kept your eyes glued to his hands. You wished you could say it back. You knew he wanted to hear it. Maybe one day.

He tapped his finger on the counter, pulling your attention up so you were forced to look him in the eye.

"You fought for me that night, now I'm gonna fight for you, okay?" he said, eyebrows raised as he waited for you to acknowledge him. When you nodded sheepishly, his shoulders relaxed.

"So you're saying I fell in love with you because you were an asshole?" you joked, trying to lighten the mood, and it worked. Joel laughed heartily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nah, you didn't love me then," he said, still smiling.

"So how did I fall in love with you?" you asked, and his tongue clicked against his teeth.

"You're gonna have to wait to find out," he replied with a wink.

It wasn't his fault, but the rest of the day you could feel Joel looking at you. He was examining you, waiting to see the woman he fell in love with, and the pressure was beginning to be too much, so you made up an excuse to go lay down in his bedroom. He had mentioned he had patrol in the morning. Maybe some time away from him would help you relax.

You stared up at the white ceiling. The distant sound of children laughing outside through the closed window and then the door to the garage swinging open and shut acted as a soundtrack to your overactive thoughts. You almost had to laugh. It felt like your mind was constantly working, churning up information and digesting it only to always come up empty.

Absolutely nothing seemed familiar. Nothing about this place or these people felt like home.

You wished so badly you could remember something. Anything to make you feel like you belonged there. One little shred of hope was all you were looking for.

And then you remembered the journal.

Sitting up in bed, you tucked your legs underneath you and reached over for the black book. You fingers hesitated for a moment on the cover. It felt like an invasion of privacy, but how could that be when it was your own?

Taking a deep breath, you flipped open the journal and began at the beginning.

Right away, you could tell you wrote the entries. There was no doubt in your mind. Aside from your handwriting, your typical disorganization shone through like a beacon on every page. You occasionally remembered to notate in the margin the date, or your best guess at the date, but more often than not you were left with very little context for each small paragraph you read.

You were disappointed to realize the journal seemed to begin after you had met Joel. A big part of you was very eager to learn more about the person you were before finding Jackson, but it seemed as though you would have to depend on others to tell you stories you hopefully had relayed to them in the past.

The first page looked to be a list of items you had jotted down that didn't make much sense, but maybe when you first found the notebook, you hadn't intended to use it as a journal.

Socks, colored pencils, sunflower seeds, cards.

Flipping the page, you skimmed a short paragraph about a cabin you stumbled upon when on patrol. Again, it was more notes than anything of any substance. A description of approximately where it was in relation to Jackson along with a note to 'mention it at the next town hall meeting'.

Finally something interesting on the next page, you read a short paragraph about someone named Maria having a baby girl, and you frowned when you read the line Joel handled it better than I expected.

Continuing on, you read an entry about Christmas: Joel found me the softest sweater, it almost felt brand new. I really don't know how he managed to find it and I described the house I grew up in to Ellie and she drew it perfectly, I can't believe how talented she is.

One paragraph in particular grabbed your attention. It was about two people, and based on the context, it sounded like you were close friends. For the first time since we got here, I had the same day off as Ben and Lisa. We went fishing together and brought a lunch. It felt just like old times. As weird as it sounds, sometimes I miss being out there with them. We made a good team.

Maybe this Ben and Lisa would be able to answer some questions you had about yourself. Based on what you just read, it sounded like they knew you before Jackson.

There was a lot more to read, but the next page stopped you dead in your tracks. Your heart began to beat faster as you stared at the four words. Just one sentence, no explanation. A shiver slowly trickled down your spine as you sat there, unmoving, as your vision narrowed on the page: Joel lied to me.

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[dalamjisung]

A muted shade of green ✧ Chapter 3: X marks the spot

genre: finally some fluff! still some angst, but some fluff too!

word count: 5804

pairing: reader x spencer reid

description: you need spencer back home. so spencer comes back home. simple as that.

a muted shade of green masterlist

previous chapter // next chapter

author's note: you folks are amazing! thank you so much for the support and I know this chapter is a bit duller (aka famous filler chapter) but y/n needs a break from pain and suffering all the time lol <3 if you want to join the taglist for this series, please let me know in the comments!

“She knows who I am.” 

That is the sentence that sets off Plan B. 

Spencer’s instructions are clear: call Penelope and go to the BAU. Office Kaper is to stay with you at all times until you enter the FBI and even then, he will personally deliver you to her caring hands, and for once, you don’t argue. In what has been a very dark past few days, you think that Penelope’s bright colours might do you well. “I have to close the shop,” You tell him on the phone, already changing from your sleeping shorts into some jeans, but keeping his hoodie. Right now, you’re not focused on appearances; you’re focused on getting the hell out of there. 

“That’s fine, but keep Officer Kaper with you. Was the envelope delivered to my place?”

“No,” You breathe out, backpack on and ready to go. Nodding to man that has become your loyal companion, the two of you walk out of the building like any civilian couple. It’s unsettling, watching a man that is not Spencer wear his clothes, but he had to blend in so you two didn’t stand out. 

“And he’s wearing my clothes?” 

You turn to look at Officer Kaper and you snort despite the situation. “As best as he can, though he is considerably shorter than you, Spence.”

“You’re calling me Spence,” He says, and even his voice sounds a bit more at ease. Somehow, in the midst of this craziness, you two find time to ease back into what once was and you manage a small smile despite the anxiety rushing through you. “I missed that.”

“I miss you,” Is what you say back, and you blame it on the adrenaline of being outside, so open and vulnerable to prying eyes. “I… I feel safer when you’re here.”

“I know,” You swear you hear something skin to a smile on his voice. “I’m on my way back.” 

“Yeah, in like three days,” Talking on the phone and closing your shop is no easy feat. You’re no genius and having to split your focus onto two different tasks is quite hard, but you manage. You don’t want to let him go yet, scared that one you can’t hear his voice, he’ll be as good as gone. 

“No, I’m on the jet right now, I should be landing in an hour.”

You shouldn’t feel this happy about having Spencer come back this soon and probably in the middle of an active case, but when a psychotic killer starts sending you handwritten letters, you feel entitled to being a little selfish, even if guilt and anxiety are mixed it like the perfect emotional cocktail. “You didn’t have to,” You say, biting your nails when you finally grab everything you need and lock the door behind you. “Spence, I– thank you.” 

“You need me home,” Is all he says before announcing he has to go.

The silence doesn’t make things easier. Now that you don’t have to split your mind in two to multitask, you can fixated on the fact that this is serious. This is quite serious– Cat Adams has just confirmed she knows you. She has also, however, confirmed she does not know where you are, and just like you told yourself before, you have to believe that there is something better than this out there. There is a moment in time, reserved and crafted by the sisters of fate, in which Cat Adams gets bored with you. You are no longer a struggling rat under the weight of her paws, and she is no longer entranced by how you try to wriggle out of maniacal grasp. In another moment, another sliver of an alternate reality, Cat never even finds out who you are. You like that reality a bit better, because then you also don’t know who she is, and the knowledge of her presence and her impact on Spencer’s life is as weightless as a feather. 

While the city passes by you, the taxi ride to the FBI not as quick as you’d like with the early morning traffic, you allow yourself one more scenario. One more reality. 

In this one, you live in an apartment with muted green walls. Your furniture is that fancy, dark shade of oak and you don’t have to keep your books on the store; instead, you have space to add them to your decoration. You have shelves and shelves of books lining your walls and you think you’ve never seen anything more beautiful than that place. The windows, large and usually covered by cream blinds, are open to allow some sunshine inside. In this reality, you’ve told Spencer all about the benefits of sunlight to your books– none of them true, of course, but he still pretends to believe you, and he still opens the windows before leaving for work. This time around, you dream big– in this alternate life, Spencer never even met Cat Adams. He never even applied to the FBI, in this odd, hallmark version of your story. It doesn’t really matter what he does, but all that matters is that you get to be with him. You get to wake up next to him, to talk to him, to call him… hell, you even get to kiss him! 

This reality, as utopian as it seems, it’s fragile, though. Unrealistic. Spencer loves his job, you know that now. A world where you keep him from it can’t truly be a perfect world, not when he’d be so, so unhappy without his team standing next to him. “Ma’am,” Officer Kaper calls. “We’re here.” 

“Oh!” Grabbing your backpack, you follow him inside, feeling a bit awkward at the way people started at your with puzzled looks on their faces. “Wait! Before you leave, this is for you! You mentioned your daughter likes stories and that she’s about five or so, so these should be fun!” Children’s book is one of your secret passions, and you’re happy to see him smiling as he looks through the titles. 

“You really didn’t have to, Miss Y/L/N.”

“I really wanted to, though,” You smile. You need some light in your life as you walk those beige hallways. “Let me know if she wants more– her dad is a hero, so we have a special deal at the store for you.” 

“I’ll tell little Jane that a very nice lady from work gave her new books then,” He says, nodding as Penelope rushes to your side. “Call me if you need anything else, Miss Y/L/N, I’m happy to help. If it makes you feel better, you’ve been dealing with this exceptionally well. It can’t be easy.”

The validation has you pursing your lips, trying to hold back the need to hug him. In no way, shape, or form are you two close– to be honest, this is the most you’ve spoken with Officer Kaper during the forty-eight hours you spent together; and yet, his opinion seems to mean something to you. Your hands hide behind your back and you exhale sharply, nodding at him, eyes glassing over with emotion. “Thank you,” You whisper, head whipping at the familiar sound of heels waddling down the hall. “I’ll uh, I’ll go… but thank you. For everything.” 

He just nods, leaving with a wave and a smile. 

“Either you joined the FBI since we last saw each other or this sweatshirt belongs to a certain genius man,” Penelope says, looking at you with the ghost of a smile. If you didn’t know any better, 

“What? Oh. Yeah, I borrowed it from Spence,” You mumble, hands nervously fidgeting with your backpack. There isn’t much of anything inside, and you think you got flustered when you had Spencer on the phone telling you to get ready to go. All you remember is packing your toothbrush, a couple of books, and some underwear. “Oh, sweet girl,” Penelope sighs, her arm light on your shoulders, guiding you through those horrid halls. You think you hate the FBI headquarters more than you hate Cat Adams, and that is saying something. “Everything will be okay. Boy genius is on it, and he’ll figure this out in no time.”

“Seven days is quite a lot of time,” It’s not fair, how your words make her frown, but you have no one else. The words tumble out of your mouth before you can control them because this is what you’ve been dying to do since you first left that goddamned office, seven fucking days ago. And that is your regret– not talking to Spencer when you had the chance, not letting him talk to you, not… not letting him be therefor you. “God, seven days is a lot– it’s a whole week! I don’t know what you believe in, but if you’re Catholic, God created the Earth in seven days and– well, six days and Sunday he rested, but honestly, semantics. And it’s a whole week, one-fourth of a month. Seven days, and– and–“

“I am not judging you, because I am the biggest yapper of this team,” Penelope cuts right in, hand up in the air between you two. “But you need to breathe. I know seven days is a lot. And I hate that you’re in a position that you feel like you need to count the days. But there are no better people to have on your corner than this team. I promise you, Y/N, and– look!” She shakes her phone in front of your face. “Lover boy just landed! He’ll be here soon, so for now, please sit down and drink some tea?”

The door in the end of many, many hallways later is her office. You don’t really understand the juxtaposition of Penelope Garcia, and that’s okay– you might not understand her, but at least, with her, it feels like what you see is what you get. She wears her authenticity on her sleeve and you actually feel at ease around her because of it. There is not an ounce of ambiguity, not a shred of secrecy coming from her. She looks at you– really looks at you– and in her eyes you know how she feels. Penelope, unlike the rest of the team, is not a trained profiler, and even though you are quite limited in your knowledge of what exactly a profiler like Morgan and JJ does, the internet provided you with enough general background that you know just how… proficient… they are in hiding their own selves from the world. Apparently it’s a part of the job, but at one point, you have to wonder just how intrinsic is the job and their overall selves, and if when Spencer comes back home, does he leaves the job behind or is he always on the clock?

“Here, it chamomile,” The mug is bright pink and purple, and despite the room being dark and cold, you see how she has made it her own. The figurines and stickers on the screens around you make you smile weakly, sipping on the tea while sitting down next to her. Her screens are locked, and you are thankful for that– it makes you feel like at least someone is trying to separate you and the world you never wanted to know existed. “How are you feeling?”

You shrug a little, finger running around the rim of the cup. “I… I’m scared. And this feels really stupid, you know? It’s not even about me, but I’m the one kicking a fuss about everything,” Shaking your head, you let out a big exhale, like you have been holding it in for the longest time. “All because of a silly crush, oh my god…” 

“Wait… Wha– What…?” 

“I know,” You laugh at yourself, that type of chuckle that is so dry and void that even you worry. Underneath it all, underneath all the anger and the confusion and the disbelief, you think you just feel… dumb. You feel stupid. Like you’ve played yourself, and poor Spencer doesn’t even know. “How stupid am I? Getting a serial killer on my back, all because I liked a boy? And it’s not even like he likes me back, so this is all just… so fucked up. I wish I could go visit her and tell her that I don’t have Spencer, not like how she thinks I do.” 

“You like Reid?” Her smile is so big that her voice comes out all weird and squeaky. “You actually have a crush on little boy genius?”

“I–“ The hesitation in your voice is obvious. “I did. Spence is just so kind. And gentle, and loving, and he has this huge heart, you know? He used to bring me coffee every day he visited, and he would tell me all these really cool facts about the most random things, and I swear, I loved listening to him talk.” Without even realising, you’re smiling, wide and true, for what it felt like the first time in forever. You bring your legs up on the chair, hugging your knees close just to feel that sense of security it brings you, grounding you in the moment. The memories of your time with him, your favourite customer, are precious to you; and much like old time treasure, you hide it in the depths of your mind, away and untouched by prying hands of people around you. 

Except, Cat Adams found your map. 

And X marks the spot. 

It’s just a matter of time until she finds the golden chest and picks at the lock. 

Slowly, your smile slips away. “But now… now things changed, you know?” You gulp, not having the capacity to face the pitiful look she gives you without crying. And you’re tired of crying. 

“You didn’t change. Reid didn’t change, he’s still the same kind and gentle and loving man…!” You’re almost swayed by the desperation behind her voice. Penelope is a great friend and you can’t believe you were once jealous of her, but even then, you grimace. It’s not like you don’t want to let yourself be guided by these feelings– you want to let the butterflies loose, you want to allow yourself the giddiness of being with him, you want to have this quintessential girlhood experience, but the threat looming over your head pushes you down and away. You’re scared and you have all the reason to be. 

“Haven’t I?” You ask, cocking your head to the side. “Anyways, at the risk of sounding like a middle schooler, it’s not like he likes me either.”

“Y/N, he– he’s different,” Penelope whispers, reaching for your hand. “He’s afraid of germs and rambles a lot and he’s been hurt before, but please, if you just give him a shot, I think you could be really good for him.” 

“How would you know?” You’re not trying to be rude, you even smile a little, but the question stood– how would she know? You two had very limited interactions. 

“Because he talks a lot about you, and… well,” She confesses, chuckling like she had just done something naughty. When she points at the screens though, you gasp. “I know more about you thank you think.”

That makes your blood run cold. “You– what– what did you find out?” 

“Not as much as I could’ve!” She quickly promises, turning to the screen and quickly pulling up a file. The first thing you see is your driver’s license, and you wince at the picture. “This is all I managed to get before Reid put a ban on me!”

“He put a ban on you looking me up?” 

“Yes, he said he didn’t want to cheat and that he wanted to wait for you to tell him whatever you wanted to tell him,” Her words come out so fast you barely understand them, but it still tugs at your heart. “He said you didn’t know who he was because you didn’t know he worked for the FBI, and I tried telling him that’s not all he is! I did, but Reid is a stubborn, stubborn genius and wouldn’t listen to me! But he is, Y/N, he is much more than this job and–“

“I know that,” You whisper, eyes running through the documents on the screen. Degrees, past addresses, old jobs, family… and past relationships. Your body tenses up at the small list of names, one in particular making you gulp, glancing quickly at Penelope. “This is all, right? You… you didn’t dig more, right?” 

“Yes, this is all! I promise! To be very honest, I could find anything I wanted, but as I mentioned, I’ve been banished and threatened with a long, long lecture on privacy laws.” 

Her words echo in your mind for a moment, eyes unmoving from the bright screens. “Anything?” 

Penelope looks at your with hesitation. “Anything that has been online, yeah. Why?”

Sitting back down, you take a deep breath and nod. “Show me Cat Adams.”

“Oh… Oh, Y/N, no, no no no, I can’t–“

“Yes, you can! You just said you can find anything and, honestly how hard would it be for me to pick up my phone and Google her? If the FBI made the arrest, I’m sure media has picked it up!” Before you can even reach for the device, Penelope is grabbing it, hiding it behind her. “Penelope, please! This woman wants to kill me, I deserve to know what she looks like!”

Your voice is hushed, the undertone of desperation seeping through every word. “What if she gets out?” 

“Y/N, she has a life sentence, she’ll never get out.”

“You don’t know that!” This is what scares Penelope, the way you screech in panic, hands flying to the neck of the hoodie and tugging it away from you like you need it to breathe. “You don’t know that and I need to know what she looks like! Please, Penelope, I’m begging you!”

The tension in the room is palpable, but you know you got through her when she sighed. “I’m doing this for your protection,” It’s more like she’s talking to herself, so all you do is nod quietly, getting up and walking to the back of her chair. “Are you ready?” 

“Yes,” You are holding your breath while you squeeze the back of her chair, trying to keep yourself upright for a moment that could easily throw off your balance. 

In all honesty, you are not sure what you’re expecting. The little you know about black widow killers comes from a fictional world of made up characters, a place where the fantastical magic of made up stories meets the trauma ridden lives of turbulent characters. In them, these killers are beautiful. In fact, their beauty is their weapon, right before their grace and intelligence. It’s almost sick, how you remember liking those stories so much you once called it ‘a form of female empowerment’, and just thinking about it has your stomach tied in a bunch of knots, each one pulling and tugging at you in a rhythm that is too chaotic to not have you hunched over, panting next to Penelope like the photo she pulls up on her computer has just punched you in the gut. 

Because despite all your silent prayers, Cat Adams, in her orange jumpsuit and messy prison hair, is gorgeous. It’s something about her eyes, so cold and distant, yet holding an invitation that even you might not be able to resist. Is this how she draws men in? Is this how she drew Spencer? “I–“

“Garcia, what are you doing?!” 

Both of your turn around at the same time, both of you shocked at the sight of Spencer, in all his sweater vest glory and red face anger, marching towards you both. “Take it down.” 

You have never heard him sound so cold. “Spence, I asked her to pull it up. I was curious.”

“She should’ve known better, she’s an FBI agent!” Now he is screaming, and you can’t help but feel overcome with a familiar type of shame. Part of you, a specific part you left back in New York, expects him to to keep screaming. It’s the part of you that unconsciously pushes the tea mug away. It’s the part of you that looks at the door and feels relieved to see it unlocked. It’s the part of you you’ve been hiding from him and everyone else you met since you’ve moved. 

It’s the part of you Spencer just noticed. 

“I’m sorry,” He says, squinting his eyes at your so quickly it’s almost imperceptible. Almost. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have screamed, I’m just–“

“On edge,” You whisper, nodding in agreement. “We all are, Spence. Don’t scream at her, please.”

“I know, I know, I’m really sorry,” This is more like him– shy eyes casted down between glances here and there. “I just don’t want you wasting your time on someone like her. She doesn’t deserve it.” 

No one says anything for a while. Until you notice it. 

“Spence,” You mumble, smiling a little in an attempt to ease the high emotions in the room. “You cut your hair.” It’s shorter now. His shaggy curls still peek out, but it looks more… grown, even if it enhances his boyish charm. 

“I did,” He mumbles, blushing a little. For a second, he looks at Penelope, like he’s asking her what to say and what to do. “It was getting too long.”

“It looks really good.” 

“Thank you, Y/N,” God, you love when his voice gets low and airy like that. Garcia is looking between you two with a certain kind of spark in her eyes and it makes you shift on your feet. “Uh, shall we go home?” 

“You’re going back to your apartment?”

“Yeah, Officer Kaper said that the letter came with the batch of mail they got from Y/N’s apartment, so it’s safe to assume she has no knowledge of her current whereabouts,” Spencer picks up your backpack without even asking, smiling at you innocently. “I reviewed the security footage you sent of my apartment entrance and there is no suspicious activity happening during the days I was gone. And, well, you know, I’m here now. She’s safe.” 

No one will ever understand the amount of relief you feel in that exact moment. “Thank you for coming back.”

“You need me home,” Is all he says before guiding you away. When you turn to say bye to Penelope, she is smirking, giving you two thumbs up and a giggle. In the midst of all this mess, you actually feel happy to have someone allowing you to enjoy a moment of silliness. “Are you okay? Do you feel a bit better?”

“Now that you’re back, yeah,” You sigh, sticking close to him as you pass by a group of agents. “Officer Kaper is really sweet, but he’s not you, he’s not–“

“Familiar,” Spencer says, but you shake your head. 

“He’s not my friend.” 

“And I am?” The hope in his eyes crushes your heart. You never meant to make him feel like you had left him behind, but you know you have pushed him away when he tried to stand by you. 

No more. 

“You are, Spence,” You breathe out, hand gently falling on his arm and squeezing it adoringly. “You’re my favourite customer and I guess now you’re my living room-mate. But you should really sleep in your bed tonight, okay?” The joke is just an attempt to make him smile, and you’re happy to see it works.

“Will you sleep next to me?” 

His question is not that unexpected, really, but it still makes you freeze in place. “Uh… What… What do you mean?” 

“Sleep next to me,” His bluntness doesn’t help with the way your cheeks fire up. “I know you’re scared, so if you’re next to me, I’ll be watching over you at all times. I’m a light sleeper, so even if something happens, I’ll wake up. We can put pillows between us, if the thought of me that close to you makes you uncomfortable and–“

“It doesn’t,” You say before you can give up on it. “I just… I know you’re a germaphobe and I don’t know how many germs can be shared when you sleep next to someone and I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Actually, when you sleep next to someone, there is an exchange of bacteria and skin microbes when we turn and move around, but your brain compensates by releasing the ‘happy’ hormones because you’re sleeping next to someone you care about, so I wouldn’t mind the former much considering we would wake up pretty content.” 

Someone you care about. You hold your tongue back from asking him if he cares about you– at this point, you should know he does. You shouldn’t need the reassurance, as nice as it would feel to have it, but you really, really want it. In a time where everything is uncertain, you pray so that Spencer can be your constant. “Okay,” You nod, hand slowly slipping down his arm, brushing yours fingers through his, before letting it go altogether. Looking down to the ground, embarrassed with your own courage, you follow him out of the building. “The subway is that way.”

“We’re getting a taxi,” He mumbles, signalling one down as he spoke. “I don’t think public spaces with that much visibility are a good idea for now. I don’t want you paranoid, Y/N, but I need you to be careful, okay? Subways, buses, all of these get crowded and they have a large amount of surveillance. We still can’t figure out how Cat found out where you live or who is her connection that got your name through the UPS delivery, but we’re not stopping until we do, I promise you that. For now, we just ask that you be careful around people.”

“I work with people. I have to talk to them to sell them stuff… I can’t lose my store, it’s all I have!” The two of you turn to face each other on the back of the car. He is shaking his head before you can even continue, and when you feel it, the warmth of his hands covering yours, so much bigger and steadier to the point that is like he’s holding your fists in his palms, you hold your breath. 

“You won’t,” He whispers, shaking his head so gently that wisps of hair fall over his forehead and you have to fight the urge to push it back. “Y/N, you won’t. We’ll figure something out, okay?”

“Okay,” The trust you have in Spencer is enough to have you nodding along. Until the car stops in front of his apartment, he doesn’t let go of your hand, and you make no effort in letting go of his. 

It’s only when it’s time to pay for the ride that you pull away, faster than him in getting the money to the driver. “Hey!” 

“Be faster next time, boy genius,” You say, smiling tiredly while walking next to him through the hallways of his building until you reach Apartment 23. Using your key in front of him, the one he gave you when he went away, feels weird and oddly intimate. “Do you want this back?”

“Keep it,” Spencer says, giving you his trademark tight-lipped smile. The way his shoulders sag a little as soon as he is inside the familiar apartment has you frowning. He is exhausted, tired from flying and rushing through the city, but he still made the effort to come get you at the BAU. “What do you want for dinner? We can get some pizza.” 

“I have leftovers in the fridge,” You mumble, suddenly too out of place in the apartment you know at the palm of your hand. Standing in the entrance, you just look at him, watching him walk around the apartment so carelessly and you wonder if Spencer knows just how meaningful it is for you to have him back home. “I bought groceries, don’t worry, I didn’t use any of your food or anything like that.”

“I wasn’t worried, but now I am. I told you to be comfortable Y/N.” 

“I am…” You mumble, moving to sit down on the armchair. 

Under his watchful gaze, you’re not sure how much Spencer can get out of your behaviour right now. It’s a bit sad that you’re even thinking about this so consciously, observing him as he observes you right back. You know you will never win a battle of wits against the genius across the room, but no ones knows you better than yourself and that is currently your only leverage in this entire situation. But… why do you even need leverage? What is this war you have started with yourself and pulled poor Spencer in without even letting him know? The blanket you adore so much is right by your feet and you pull it up to cover your whole body, all the way up to your face. At this point, you don’t want him reading you because you’re afraid of what he will find. Specially because you don’t know what he will find. 

“What are you doing, Y/N?” When he sits on the corner of the chair, your body dips to the side, rolling closer to him. “Are you hiding?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And why are you hiding?” 

“Because you’re an avid reader,” Even you want to cringe at your own words. “And I’m not really sure what story I’m telling, right now.” 

His laughter takes you by surprise– this has to be the loudest you’ve heard Spencer be. “Y/N, what are you talking about? I’m not going to read you!”

“Spencer, you can’t help it! It’s what you do– I see the way you look at me, okay? I know what you’re doing, and I have to say I am not a fan!”

With one tug on the blanket, your face is exposed again with hair all over it. But then you see his smile, and it looks so honest and happy, like a version of him you thought you had left behind days ago. “You think I’m reading you?”

“Are you not?” You ask, sitting up to try and look at him with a serious expression. 

“No, Y/N, I’m not looking at you because I’m reading you.” 

There are moments in your life, unique and specific in their own credits, that you are sure you will never forget. The day you decided to leave New York is one of them– you bought tickets last minute and left with only a rucksack you found in the back of your closet. On the way to the airport, you called your parents, waking them up at three in the morning to tell them they were going to need to ship your stuff to a PO box address. Y/N, where are you going?, your mom cried out. What is going on? To which all you said was I’ll tell you when I can, before hanging up and throwing your SIM card out of the window. 

Opening your store was high in the list too. Not the day that you conceptualised it or rented the place– the day you truly opened it. The day your first customer, your favourite customer, walked in, that’s the day you truly opened the place. The day he bought a book and promised to come back again. 

Of course there are other dates, too; simpler dates. Birthdays, christmases, random family dinners. The small things that build-up to be big memories. But then there are the big things that are even bigger memories, and you’re intimidated, with the size of it all. It’s too big, too tall, and when you fall, it might just be high enough to break all your bones, but not kill you completely. No… that would be too merciful. 

This– Cat Adams, Spencer, the box– this is not just big. 

This is huge. 

In comparison, tonight is not all that big. In fact, his living room feels quite small now that both of you are back inside. The green walls descend and it’s just you and him, squeezed close in an arm chair you both love, surrounded by books you both love, and you still can’t help but feel afraid. This is as small as it gets, as monotonous as it gets, and yet, this is the most scared you’ve ever felt, because no matter what you do, it’s like you can’t stop climbing– you go higher, higher, higher. His words, replaying in your mind, keep pushing you up, without any regard of how you’ll ever come down. 

Truthfully, you don’t want to come down, even if he brings you down gently. 

“Then… why do you stare at me, Spence?”

He doesn’t answer you, shaking his head slightly before looking away and clearing his throat. Uncomfortableness doesn’t look good on him, and that is saying something, coming from the one person who thinks everything looks good on him. “I uh, I’ll heat up some of those leftovers. Shall I get you some, too?” 

Spencer might the profiler, but you are still able to read the blooming colour in his cheeks. “Yeah,” You say softly, I would love some, Spence.”

Dinner with him is peaceful. You’re learning how to live this new life with a plus one. You learn his habits and his quirks– you learn that he likes to put ketchup on his pizza and that he drowns his coffee in sugar. That despite his immense IQ, he still can’t quite cook for himself– or prefers not doing so. That he made sure his cleaning lady came during the times he was away to avoid small talk and human contact. You learn, through a lot of trials and a lot of success, that you are his one exception. 

For you, Spencer is malleable, and he has no qualms in moulding himself to your needs, except… except you don’t want him to do that. You don’t want him to be someone he’s not and you don’t want the Spencer you know and adore to be someone curated just for you. 

“I’ll go take a shower and change into some comfortable clothes,” He says after he finishes eating. “Thank you for the food.” 

“No problem.” 

“And Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“You can keep that hoodie. You look good in it.” 

Just like that, you chuckle, shaking your head when he disappears behind the bedroom door. If Cat Adams has the map to your past memories, Spencer Reid has the map to your future ones. 

X marks the spot. 

And for him there is no lock to pick– the door is wide open. 

---------------------------------------

Taglist:

@fanfic-viewer

@mysticpeachobject

@donttrustlove  

@r-3dlips 

@lolitsbuckybarnes 

@lilrios-world 

@iniyalovesall 

@beabfleab

@dojacatismywife 

@queenofshinigamis

@beersangel

@catchthewindd

@charismatic-writer

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@scarlettoh

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@redros3y 

@gibson-g1rl

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@gghostwriter

@stanswifties

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@dragon03138

@tbsloneely

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/24/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast&CrewSightings; Samba BTS; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Damien Gerard; Guz Khan!; SaveOFMD Crew Billboard; AdoptOurCrew Saturday Sillies; Making A Difference; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

Been a long Saturday yall. Hope you enjoyed the BTS and general clown/honking going around!

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= Samba Schutte Feat. David Jenkins! =

Samba's back with more BTS for us today!

This time the Crew Shoutout is for Chaos Dad himself: David Jenkins! So good to see Chaos dad having such a great time BTS. We love you David!

Videos on Tumblr:

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys decided to take it up a notch today on his Tiktok/Instagram and tell... someone they've created a monster. Who might that be?

== Damien Gerard ==

Our crew-mate @patchworkpiratebear got a Cameo from our lovely Father-Teach, Damien Gerard! There's a bit of a story behind it, see below! Cameo link

== Guz Khan! ==

Hey! It's been a hot minute since we've seen our friend Guz Khan-- and now he's showed up on a cat! Good to see you sir!

== Save OFMD Crew ==

There have been questions raised about the billboard that the SaveOFMD Crew have been posting teasers for on their socials. The Crew had a meeting today wherein they discussed the concerns of the fandom, and have taken that feedback to heart. They are currently working on a clear information packet regarding the logistics of the current billboard efforts. They have kindly asked for your patience while they finish putting those last touches together!

== @adoptourcrew Saturday Sillies! ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew were kind enough to set up a new Saturday Sillies this week! This time they made custom OFMD Wordles! There were WAY too many images to include in the recap, so if you'd like to check them out, please visit the tumblr post below!

Wanna play? You can visit a tumblr post here

== Making a Difference! ==

Thank you to everyone who contributed to, or shared the fundraiser for Trans Pride Brighton! They've finally met their goal and can stay open another year! You made a serious difference in the lives of trans and non-binary folk in that community!

== Articles ==

Deze HBO-serie is gecanceld, maar had een 95% op Rotten Tomatoes

Schwule Romanze zwischen Piratenkapitänen

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. I hope you had a fun Saturday/Sunday wherever you are. I know some of you are already closing out the weekend. We made it through another day-- and there's all sorts of action going on across all the platforms. I hope you got a chance to have fun, but also to rest. I know you know this, but even though I do too I often forget it. Rest is so very important. It's so easy to burn out, especially when we're constantly exposed to so much online. I think to myself "oh it's fine I'll just get a few more things done" and then it's suddenly 3 hours later and I've had only 4 hrs sleep in the last 30. Please please please give yourself self care today. Go brush your teeth, or take a shower. If you feel like you can do more, brush your hair, or make yourself a nice cup of tea. Do something for you that makes you relax and feel rested. On your last day of the weekend, make sure to take a few moments to yourself and just remember how awesome you are. You may not feel like it sometimes, but I can tell you now you truly are Awe-some. You bring so much life and love to this world and you deserve all beautiful things you want. Anyway, I'm very sleepy and I'm rambling again (what's new). Sleep well and enjoy your day lovelies, see you tomorrow.

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

I'm being lazy tonight again yall. Just two goofy gifs that caught my eye, sorry I am running on fumes. Tomorrow I'll try to find some themed ones for ya <3

Rhys Gif: Courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome

Taika Gif: ohnotheydidnt.livejournal

[skyward-floored]

The cat’s out of the bag chapter 4

More kitty wind yet again! Starting to get into real plot now :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52017334/chapters/141645076

Chapter 3 | Next

————————————————————

Once Wind and Twilight returned from the woods, the Links finally got moving, heading in the direction Wild had pointed out.

Wind felt his bad mood fade as they walked along, the pine trees giving way fully to birch, more sunlight visible with their thinner branches. It really was a nice day, and though he was still annoyed at Twilight, Wind felt much happier as he trotted along with the rest of the heroes.

He wished they’d take smaller steps though. Keeping up with anyone but Four was exhausting.

Wind confidently raised his head whenever someone looked back at him though, intent on appearing steady. He could keep up perfectly fine, he wasn’t going to slow down the group.

Sky might need them.

Wind spent a while focusing intently on keeping up, not tripping on any roots or rocks that the heroes walked over, and staying in the center of the group where he’d ended up, trotting near Wild’s heels. It wasn’t obvious at first, but Wind eventually realized that the others had moved to walk a little closer to where he was, generally keeping him company as he padded along.

Wind was suspicious, but he didn’t mind too much.

...Even if it felt a little like they were keeping him from wandering off.

“So... I have to admit, I’ve never really seen a cat before,” Wild said after a long period of silence, looking down at Wind.

“Really? Never?” Legend asked from beside him, and Wild shrugged.

“I’ve only seen one or two,” Time added from nearby. “They’re just not very common in some places, it seems.”

“Yeah. I’ve never seen them except in Twi’s world. I didn’t even know they were a thing until then,” Wild said.

“They are, believe me,” Four said a little grimly, shaking his head and making his earring sway. “Cats can be... a bit on the vicious side, in my experience.”

“Really?” Wild asked in interest, and Wind perked his ears, curious. Four rolled up his sleeve when everyone looked at him, and Wind had to crane his neck to see him show off a large circular scar near his elbow, one that looked like it came from a large tooth.

“Really.”

“How big are the cats in your time?!” Twilight asked in shock as he stared at Four’s arm, eyes wide with disbelief.

Four pulled his sleeve down, and smiled for some reason. “Depends who you ask. Most folks I know would say ‘huge’.”

“I fought a huge cat once,” Legend hummed, idly rubbing his shoulder. “It could curl into a spiked ball and had fangs as long as my forearm.”

“Aw Vet, you have all the fun.”

Wind felt at his teeth with his tongue while the conversation continued on, feeling a pang of disappointment. How come I didn’t get fangs as long as Legend’s forearm?

I seriously got the short end of the stick with this form...

Something ran along Wind’s head, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Legend had stopped walking and kneeled down to pet him.

“Holy crap Champ you weren’t kidding, he’s so fluffy,” Legend said in delighted astonishment, and Wind twitched his tail, not quite sure if he appreciated the petting (even though it... did feel kinda nice).

“Er, can I..?” Hyrule asked, and Wind nodded, letting Hyrule run a few fingers along his back. “Wow, you’re really soft.”

“He’s a cute one alright,” Twilight said with a smile from a few paces away, and Wind gave him a foul look, still a bit grumpy from earlier.

Twilight’s smile faltered and he looked away as a curl of guilt twisted through Wind. It was quickly interrupted by someone scratching him behind the ears though, and Wind relaxed at the feel of it, his grumpy thoughts fleeing. He leaned into the touch as a purr escaped his throat, and heard someone laugh.

Okay, the petting was pretty nice.

“Hey, we’ve got Sky and a dark lizard to find, you can pet Wind later,” Warriors called from a good distance in front of them, and Wind heard at least two awws as the petting stopped, and they quickly resumed walking.

The group began moving closer to their normal pace, and Wind had to scurry to keep up, his legs beginning to ache at the unfamiliar motions and muscles he was using. He ignored it though, and kept going, purposely walking extra fast when Twilight glanced back to check on him.

He had to get used to walking more with the others when they’d first met anyway, this was just like that. The only difference was he didn’t have shoes to get blisters from now.

Though I guess my paws could get blisters anyway... but there’s nothing rubbing them, so hopefully not. I guess cats can’t really wear shoes, huh. Though maybe they could? You’d have to get some that were the right size though. I wonder if Twilight’s ever seen a cat with shoes?

...His Hyrule is definitely weird enough for people to do that for their pets...

Wind was so caught up in his thoughts of blisters and cat shoes that he forgot to pay as close attention to where he walking, gradually veering away from the others.

And he might not have noticed for a long while, but for the fact that his next step dropped right out from under him.

Wind let out a surprised yowl as he suddenly fell down a sharp incline, scrambling to regain his footing. He didn’t succeed though, and heard a shout behind him as he slid, tumbling down the slope and wincing as he hit a few rocks.

Wind finally rolled to a stop at the bottom, a little dizzy from all the spinning he’d just done, and shook his head, a puff of dust billowing out from his fur.

“Sailor! Are you alright?!”

Wind meowed back a somewhat dazed affirmative, getting to his feet and making sure he wasn’t actually hurt. He felt more sore then before, but he was overall not too worse for wear.

Maybe cat shoes wouldn’t be a bad idea after all, he thought dizzily, sitting back down.

Footsteps approached, and Wind looked up as the rest of the Links came down the slope, barely even an obstacle for them due to their sizes. Legend reached Wind first and kneeled beside him, giving him a quick look over before brushing some dirt off his head.

“Good grief sailor, don’t do that,” he sighed, and Wind curled his tail around himself, sure he’d be blushing if he was physically capable of it. It wasn’t on purpose!

“You’re okay?” Twilight asked next, his eyes wide and face creased with anxiety, and Wind nodded, looking at his paws.

He couldn’t believe he’d tripped. Now Twilight and the others probably wouldn’t let him walk anymore today, if at all, and he’d have to let them carry him around like some sort of useless fluffy pillow—

“Hey, look at what Wind found!”

Wind looked down at where Wild was pointing, and saw that he’d landed in what must have been a dried-up creek bed, dust and scraggly weeds in the bottom.

With a handful of bootprints clearly visible in the dirt right beside his tail.

“Those aren’t from us,” Hyrule said as he kneeled down to look at them. “You think..?”

“They might be Sky’s,” Four finished, and Wind felt hope flicker to life in his chest as they all studied the marks in the dirt. Maybe tripping down here wasn’t so bad after all!

“They look about the right size...” Warriors said thoughtfully.

“Who else would even be out in the middle of the woods like us? It’s got to be him!” Wild declared, then cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled. “HEY SKY! YELL IF YOU CAN HEAR ME!”

Wind tilted his head and pricked his ears, but there was no response to Wild’s shout.

“Guess he can’t,” Legend said flatly, rubbing his ear.

“Maybe Wind can tell if they’re Sky’s prints or not,” Twilight said, much to Wind’s surprise, and kneeled down next to him. “Cats have good noses. Can you see if you can make out Sky’s scent?”

Wind blinked, and gave a sort of shrug, looking at the prints.

“Maybe?” he meowed, well aware Twilight had no clue what he’d said. But Twilight must have caught on to his uncertainty, and he hummed, putting a hand on his chin.

“Right, you’ve been a cat for less then a day... uh... try to think about Sky, and what he smells like,” Twilight instructed. “Once you’ve got that in your head, take in all the smells around you, and filter out the ones you know aren’t right, like the dirt and grass. Breathe deep. Focus.”

Wind nodded, missing the look Warriors gave Twilight, and began to sniff around the prints, closing his eyes in order to focus better. That all didn’t sound too hard.

The first thing Wind could smell was the dirt, a little damp and earthy. Next to that he could smell grass, fresh and green, and a few small flowers, along with the still-present whiff of the ocean in the distance. There was another smell aside from those though, one more complicated.

This one had some perfumed notes like the flowers, and hints of a smell kind of like the trees nearby... wood maybe? But there was also something sharp, like the sea before a storm. It matched the scent Wind had pictured for Sky, and he focused in on it, tail going up in excitement.

Looked like these were Sky’s prints!

“You got it?” Twilight asked, and Wind meowed an affirmative, trying to find where Sky’s scent was strongest. It was hard to just focus on one scent, but Wind did his best.

Twilight followed around behind him as he sniffed along, and the other Links remained mostly quiet while he worked, watching to see what would happen. Wind’s aching body and feet got swept to the back of his mind while he followed the scent, intent on what he was doing, and he diligently followed his nose.

Come on Sky, please be here somewhere...

Wind abruptly stopped as the smell he’d been following got interrupted, another smell overtaking it. It was much more pungent than Sky’s scent, and Wind wrinkled his muzzle as it invaded his nose. He twitched his tail and sniffed harder, trying to find where the first smell had gone, but only finding more of the new musky scent.

Then Wind stopped, looking down at the large clawed footprint he’d just stepped in.

“Monsters,” Twilight said as he studied the mark, tapping a hand on his chin. “But no more sign of Sky?”

Wind meowed in the negative, and lightly bapped Twilight’s hand, guiding him over to another bootprint he’d just noticed next to the clawed mark. It was joined by several others, and they trailed off deeper into the woods alongside the clawed prints.

The others gathered around, and they looked at the marks in silence for a moment, faces worried.

“So Sky... and monsters,” Hyrule frowned, and Twilight nodded.

“Looks like it.”

“But was Sky following the monsters? Or were they following him?” Warriors mused. “Could you tell which scent was stronger, Wind?”

Wind gave another sort-of shrug, looking back at the prints. The monster smell was stronger than Sky’s, but he couldn’t tell if that was because of what it was, or if it just really was more recent.

Wolfie would be able to tell, he thought gloomily.

“It looks like he might’ve been in a hurry, these are pretty well spaced out,” Legend said, studying the further away tracks.

“So Sky was traveling quickly, either following monsters, or trying to get away from them,” Time surmised, his knees cracking as he lowered himself to look. “Good job Sailor,” he said as he ran a light hand over Wind’s head. Wind let out a happy purr at the motion, the compliment warming him. “This should help greatly with finding our missing knight of Skyloft.”

“So long as something else doesn’t find him first,” Warriors said grimly, and he straightened, everyone looking out at where the footprints led.

Somehow the forest ahead seemed a lot less pleasant to Wind.

“Come on. The sooner we find Sky and what’s leaving these tracks, the better,” Legend said with a frown.

The group quickly set off again, and the triumph from finding the tracks faded as Wind was sharply reminded of his sore body. The short break he’d gotten hadn’t helped much, and his legs were heavy and aching, the rest of him sore from his tumblr. The pads on his feet stung with every step, tiny rocks and dirt finding their way in between his toes, but Wind stubbornly ignored the ache.

Sky might be in trouble, and that mattered way more than sore feet, or aching paws, or even Wind’s annoyance at being a cat.

Sore paws weren’t going to stop him.

Despite his determination to keep up, Wind gradually drifted farther and farther behind the other Links, his feet dragging the longer they went. Everyone was moving much faster than before, and Sky’s tracks meandered up and down hills and over rocks and past all sorts of spots that were hard for an already-tired cat to follow.

And unfortunately for Wind, it wasn’t much longer before Twilight noticed his dragging paws and drooping whiskers.

Wind felt himself get scooped into the air for the second time today, and he mewed, frowning tiredly up at Twilight and ignoring how much better he felt not being on his paws anymore.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I said you could walk as long as you told us when you got tired, and you’re barely even walking straight,” Twilight said pointedly, and Wind struggled a moment longer, then went limp, letting Twilight place him on his shoulder without further fuss.

He really was tired, as much as he hated to admit it. And Twilight’s pelt was a nice place to relax for a bit.

...Plus hey, he could see pretty far from up here. That was a plus.

Wind set his head on his paws with a breathy sigh, enjoying a view that wasn’t just feet and legs. That was another downside of being so small now— Wind couldn’t see barely anything, even when he craned his neck, and he hadn’t quite managed jumping just yet. So the view from Twilight’s shoulder was much appreciated.

Even if he would rather be walking.

“Hey... Sailor,” Twilight said after a minute, voice quiet. “I’m sorry about earlier. I know you’re having a hard time. I’m not trying to be pushy, I just want you to be careful.”

“I’ve been being careful,” Wind meowed quietly, knowing Twilight couldn’t understand, but hoping he’d get the gist. “You’re being overprotective.”

Twilight looked over at him, a serious look on his face. “I still remember the first day I got transformed. It was against my will, and I made a lot of mistakes, ones I could have avoided if I’d had someone who knew what it was like being transformed into an animal. I just want to make sure you don’t make the same ones.”

Wind blinked, thinking about that for a moment.

Then he sighed, stretching out a paw and lightly bapping Twilight’s nose. “Okay, I get it.” He’d try listening to Twilight a little more.

But if he kept being so crazily overprotective, all deals were off.

“Thanks Sailor,” Twilight said with a smile, and Wind flicked an ear in response, getting comfy on his shoulder.

No problem, he sighed to himself, and nestled down into Twilight’s pelt, intent on resting up so he could keep going as soon as possible.

Just don’t forget I’m a hero too, Twilight.

[oops-all-concrete]

Hi! I have a request for bg3 head-cannons. These entail Tav not being able to read and the group all separately trying to teach them how to. (I feel like gale would be the master at this). Thank you!❤️

Aw, I love this ask!! Thank you for the request, this is genuinely so sweet and is spawning like a million ideas in my head. (I have a Tav I always imagine being illiterate)

BG3 companions react to; Tav not knowing how to read!

No content warnings, just fluff and sweetness for the most part. Potentially minor spoilers for certain characters? But nothing major/important.

Lae'zel -

She's a little surprised, given how old Tav is. She knew how to read Tir'Su slate by age 6. Knew how to read and write common by 8. Learned a few other languages by 12. For Tav to not know their own language in writing is concerning. She wouldn't have the patience to teach them, but she would go out of her way to read out signs and plaques to Tav. They need to get by somehow and she's at least got the patience for that.

Shadowheart -

"Oh? Was this not a necessary skill where you grew up?" She's quite open minded. She understands not all societies have a lean on literacy, as much as she couldn't imagine living like that. She asks if they'd like to know and reads to them in the evenings. She only has some chappy romance novels and crime fiction, but she likes the books, so she's happy to read to them. It's a slow process, but she's patient.

Wyll -

He's stunned. He knows there's plenty of people who simply can't obtain the skill due to a number of reasons, dyslexia, bad vision, blindness entirely, but Tav should know if they can learn. He's quick to get as much reading material as he can find and invite Tav to little lessons. He's a wonderful teacher, praises every new word, applauds the reading of a sentence and smiles every time Tav reads something on their own during an adventure.

Karlach -

She's the least bothered. A little surprised, but not judging. "Eh, I can't ride any mounts or hold my breath for more than 20 seconds at a time. I've lived, so will you" She shrugs it off so easy. She does however keep that information to herself if she's the only one Tav has told. It's not worth judging, she refuses to look down on anyone for it, but she worries Gale, Astarion or Lae'zel will be critical and perhaps even mean about it? And Tav doesn't need that. Mama K's got you.

Gale -

He's not critical, but he is interested. Gale might have a bit of an ego and thinks the world of his skills, but his mother wouldn't let him leave the house if he thought less of others for not having skills. He does offer to teach, but he asks in a very particular way. "I'd be happy to teach you, should you wish to learn. It's fine if you don't though. Just tap me and point and I'll translate for you" He says, calm and even. Deep down, he is concerned, but stays level headed. Tav deserves that much.

Astarion -

"What, did your folks just get lazy? Ugh, what swine." He's offended on Tavs behalf. He thinks it's atrocious they don't have such a basic and essential skill and can't believe whoever/wherever Tav was brought up just didn't help them. So naturally, he pulls out some of his own reading material and finds some easier things during travel if he can. He'll be damned if he's going to let them sit there and not know what a warning sign is.

Bonus! The elder folks 💕

Halsin -

"Ah, you need not be ashamed. Nature never intended writing, as helpful as it can be." He smiles. He's happy to teach, but doesn't mind if Tav has no desire to learn. He thinks it would be helpful, but otherwise thinks nothing of it. He will read things if asked without question, but makes no other comments.

Jaheira -

"Cub, as long as you can remember what I say and know how to say what you're saying, I couldn't care less...but if you want to learn, you can always tell me or Halsin...or the wizard, Gale. They'd be happy to teach I'm sure" She just shrugs and keeps moving.

Minsc -

"Warriors have no need for words anyhow, my friend! We can just speak with our hands and feet...in combat!" With some encouraging squeaks from Boo.

[riotlain]

TWD crushing on (an Oblivious) Reader

YOOO WE KINDA DUMB

upset there isnt alot of twd x male reader fics that arent smut but anyways

my very select few men💀💀 i might do a part 2 i just wanted to post

THIS IS A NWLNW BLOG!! WOMEN DNI

Daryl Dixon

Our man Mr. Daryl Hiding His Emotions Dixon 🫶🫶

Its fine you didn't notice at first

He seems like he kinda hates you from how quiet he is. Quite the opposite

Being quite in love with someone who isnt a woman is kinda just like. Not processed in his mind??

He didn't know how to feel at first

But eventually he confessed to Carol about how he feels (she suspected something but anyways)

To be honest he had a plan to ask you out

But was extremely extremely hesitant

"They prolly don' even like guys" He'd say

I think both of yall are oblivious

It was a group effort to get yall together

Like all these long ass runs, leaving gifts saying it was from the other

You probably had to be the one to confess ngl

Glenn Rhee

Glenn aint too obvious. Thats what he tells himself atleast

Hes very obviously crushing on you. The only one who cant see it is you

He'd pull harmless pranks, compliment you, help you around, usually adding on a lil wink for lil extra

Yet you still didn't get it. You just thought he was being a goody good friend

Especially since its a bit hard to find any queer folk that like you around here IN FUCKING VIRGINIA/GEORGIA

"You look nice today, Y/n." *Shitty Glenn wink* "Oh thanks man!"

Your obviousness is apart of what Glenn absolutely loved about you though

It gives him time to really think out his lil confession

Which took a while but he had it down! Flowers!!

Who doesnt like flowers??

Well Glenn originally planned to give you flowers. That was until Eugene let it slip that he likes you one time💀💀

You ended up interrupting Glenn like mid confession just because you knew

Simon

Negan teases him for his obviousness

Simon would yell it to the top of his lungs if he must (he probably has to)

Always gives you any ice cream or first shot of a drink

He also always has his arm around you or is LITERALLY FLIRTING WITH YOU

You couldnt tell tho. he looked gay and homophobic to be honest.

So you just didnt say anything

Simon, running out of ideas, asked Negan for any ideas

Since its, Negan what do you expect? Something cute and romantic?? No

SHOW OFF YOUR SEXUAL PROWESS OF COURSE‼️

So with this in mind Simon approached your room with some drinks and did what he does best!

Sexual jokes about his dick and such seeing if you'd take the bait

You didn't you just got a bit flustered and laughed along

Until yknow he actually just went with the impulse and kissed you

FINALLY YOU GET THAT HES LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU

Owen (Wolf)

The king of being either really obvious or the complete opposite

Depending on your guy's situation then heres the various ways itll go down

Owens a prisoner in Alexandria? He'll tell you nearly everything about him. Along with the fact if he gets out of there hes taking you with him!

How romantic!!

If youre apart of the Wolves then you have for sure caught his eye!

He'd do anything for you and I mean anything! Well as long as he's yknow still in control of the situation.

You cant ignore him either. He'll make as much noise as possible for you to go back to talking to him.

Owen will try to stalk you to see what you like

Or try to get that info out of you through a weird interrogation

You dont notice though. If anything youre a bit weirded out that this kinda crazy cult guy is like asking you your favorite color but anyways

Eventually in the middle of one of these investigations hes just gonna kiss you (probably quite roughly too)

"I like you. So youre mine now." "I- Ok sure??"

[rebouks]

Let's be nosy and see what a few folks have been up to recently and/or since Somnium ended, shall we..? 👀

Kaden/Joey are still around, somewhere.. Joey would probably tell you by accident, but Kaden keeps him on a tight leash. I very much doubt either of them have changed their ways, you can't teach an old dog new tricks and all that... I dunno if we'll really see em again properly, though I never say never!

Brynn, Ace and Robert may have left Del Sol, but Randy and Genesis are still stuck in their old ways. Sissy likes the attention and money from her "job" too much to leave. I think part of her still hopes someone's gonna whisk her away to a life of luxury and she'll live happily ever after, just like Brynn did.. assumedly 😩 Randy won't leave without her ofc, and he doesn't really like change anyway. He's lazy, what else is he gonna do?! The motel barely makes any money either, but he manages with a few odd jobs from the less savoury folks around town. They're doing swell 👍

Luckily, no one ever ratted on Darien and he was far too careful to end up under the microscope without being exposed - especially since Wyatt left the scene - so he moved back to San My eventually. Ever the workaholic, he found himself a job at the same accounting/law firm as Wade (props to anyone who remembers him lmaoo) he doesn't need the money but he'd probably go insane without a job ngl 😆 He doesn't really find it easy to make friends either, and Wade recently found himself behind bars for a lil tiny bit of tax evasion so he's pretty lonely-.. although he did meet a fellow asexual lady friend he's been on a couple dates with recently. They have fun n' get on well, but she thinks he's this straight laced/awkward accountant and it makes him feel weird, like he's lying about himself.. so idk how long that'll last. I think he kinda misses being part of a "family", however fucked up it was.. but most of all, he just misses Wyatt 😔

Alma and Mack have been hanging out more often recently, just casually tho u kno?? She likes her freedom too much to give it all up, and although he's a great lover, he's a terrible boyfriend lmaoo.. I think she's accepted that Mack is Mack so they're not making it serious or official this time. They're not exactly getting any younger either, may as well have some fun whilst they're still here, right?! Kobe's considering moving out 'cause eugh 😆

Brivan n' co are just kinda living life right now, working, hanging out with Jacob/Suzie/Miya a fair bit and tryna get used to the news of Jude n' such u kno? Pixie's hitting her milestones like a champ ofc, but she's a picky eater just like her pappy 😅 Bruno insists he's fine but he's been a lil quiet and weird recently. Part of him still struggles with his old self and his guilt, though he ain't exactly a talker, so he retreats into himself now and then instead. He's been thinking of proposing to Ivan occasionally as well, but he doesn't want to do it whilst he's in a funk AND he's a lil worried (aka majorly overthinking) the fact that Ivan might not take too well to being proposed to?? But wait, nah.. he'd love it, right? Maybe-.. unless he hated it, maybe he'd rather be the one to ask-.. should he? Yes-.. no, wait-.. maybe?!!? Probably-.. AGHHHHHFJSDK <- said Bruno's brain 🙈

Jessie and Ivan have been taking it slow, mostly since she's so damn busy all the time, but also 'cause they hardly know each other n' all. Ivan's kinda bummed she's slow to trust him, but he can't exactly blame her so he's being patient n' meeting them whenever he can. Jude is so smitten with his new pappy tho, he even wanted to grow his hair just like him 😭 Oscar n' Robin have tagged along a few times as well since the kiddos are practically the same age, but idk if Robin is too sure abt Jude just yet! He's very talkative and he's a big hugger.. I wonder where he gets that from?? 🤣 I think Jessie's finally warming up to the idea of sharing Jude 'cause she agreed to leave him alone with Ivan for a sleepover soon! They're gonna get dressed up n' head to Oscar's for a spooky party! Oh, and Oscar thinks Jessie has a nice rack....... boi plz 🙄

Not pictured/spied upon..

Tilda - she's just existing rn tbh! She hangs out with Brivan/Pixie now n' then which she enjoys more than she'll let on! She's tryna stay away from dating and focus on herself too.. but she's not all that keen on herself so that's hard work 😩 a few dates here n' there but nothing interesting! She's also still ignoring her family.

Noah n' co - Aspen started teaching a few mommy/toddler yoga classes in the upstairs portion of Noah's gallery since he barely uses it, Juni loves it! Juni started ballet recently too 🩰 Noah's still salty with Oscar for not hanging out more but the man's busy dammit! I think Oscar's glad he's on semi-decent terms with everyone but he'd rather keep them at arms length so it stays that way skdjskjd

Salton - Alton's still Alton lmao.. though Sid gives him more shit nowadays since she's mostly retired she's realised he's even lazier than she thought and I'm sure she regrets letting him get a TV! She's a bit bored/lost tbh, which is why she hasn't fully retired yet.. introspection doesn't suit her (so says she) and she doesn't like all this extra time to think n' shit.. ough 🙈

Rhys & Tommy - both finished uni wooooooo! They're staying with Rhys' parents for now tho, Tommy's not rlly sure what to do with his psychology degree yet but he still thinks he'd like to be a psychologist so maybe he'll get a job/save up n' do his masters or smth?! Rhys has been taking on jobs as a wedding/event photographer for now, but he'd like to veer more towards photography as an art form-.. tho he's not sure how to go about that just yet either 🤔 they're figuring it out and they're happy so it doesn't rlly matter toooo much for now

Uhhhhh idk I've probably missed some folk out but feel free to ask abt anyone else in the comments! 🧡

[aria-ashryver]

Welcome To The Jungle | Choices MC Colony | Episode #4

Dorian: so, just to recap: a nearby settlement hired a PI to investigate whether a neighbouring faction of theirs were actually cannibals -- turns out they are, and now that PI is running for her life and needs our help? Rin: That's pretty much what I picked up over the comms, yeah Marianna: Seven pirate raiders from the Venom Chokers Daenarya: Oh, hey I know those guys! Yeeeeah, yeah they'll eat you. Brienne: Some of them also spit fire. Luca: Sorry-- they spit what, now? Anitha: We're helping her, right? Dorian: …Us versus seven angry, fire-spitting, cannibal raiders? Oliver: Yes, we are helping. Dorian: Yeah, totally! Nothing about that sentence is terrifying! Luca: snorts Rin: …chicken. Dorian: I'm not scared. Marianna: Yes, you are. Dorian: Shush.

Aaaahhhhh oh god everything is fine aaahhh

Good news! Carina is safe and (mostly) well! And since we did such an excellent job on the rescue mission (and were sooooo brave and not at all terrified) she's decided to join us for good.

Welcome to the Jungle, @stars-are-within-me's Carina 💖👋 Lovely to have you aboard

[LINK] - Episode 3.5 (ask) - a little overview of the base so far!

Okay, welcome to Episode #4, folks. Its been an exciting few weeks of raids, illnesses, and wild animal attacks, so I think our MCs are due a nice period of calm to relax, take stock, build up our base, and enjoy the bonds of friendship.

ok so we took stock, the stocks aren't great.

Turns out doubling your colony size overnight really hits you in the food department! Who knew. Fortunately, we do have some folks who know a thing or two about crops and gardening, so we've now got two thriving farms, as well as some chickens (Wilbur and Clementine) and our new cow (Tallulah) who we traded some nomads for.

omg the baby chicks are sleeping in the hay that's so cute 😭

(also, something weird happened and all of our crops were turned into strawberries for like a week before I noticed? We had to replant everything lmao. Idk who was behind that one)

Its been nice to just see folks bonding and chatting about stuff while they work too 😊 At the moment, Evie and Luca are the OG colony besties - Evie helps Luca with their building projects quite a bit, so they have lots of time for Top Notch banter. Clearly.

Luca: *ADHD-fuelled rambling* Evie: yeah, i like this one he's weird

Some of the other colonists are finding comfort in each other in this harsh and unforgiving jungle too 👀 A few situationships have started to crop up here and there?? (and I find it utterly hilarious that once again, its mostly the Blades MCs who are Blades MC-ing)

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you want to change/update any of these settings (bc I'm limiting things like lovers and marriage, etc at the moment), just let me know! [Here is a link] to current sprite stats!

Luca and Oliver have both been flirting a lot lately, so I feel like they might the next two to become a thing lol.

Luca: Great party, Oliver! Just what we needed after getting attacked by cannibals. That was crazy, right? Oliver: Yeah, that raid was a nail-biter. Ha, good thing no one else got bitten though. Luca: …You could bite me. Oliver: … Luca: If you want. You seem broad-minded. Oliver: ...what? Luca: what?

Speaking of biting people (apt segue is apt); a group of vampires have asked if they could host a coven meeting at Cedar Station! (They'll pay us with books!! Fuck yeahhhh books!)

Ricky, stop interrupting the coven meeting. Read the room. It's full of purple smoke and spooky spectral demon eyes.

One of them liked Cedar Station so much, she decided to stay! Cameron? Sergio? No, we used aliases. It's Jiahao. Yes, my cape is amazing.

Welcome to the Jungle, @choicesmc's Jia!! ✨ (I've never had a vampire colonist before, I'm hyped)

Ooh, and right on the heels of this! A roaming caravan of hunters and traders passed by the colony (and enjoyed the seaside for a little bit lol) -- and one of the guards who had been helping herd and protect their animals decided to stick around too!

Welcome to the Jungle, @dutifullynuttywitch's Autumn!! *wipes tear* our lil family keeps growing 🥹

I'm so glad this has just been a period of relaxing and making new friends. I'm really enjoying this calm. Surely nothing bad will happen, right?

Surely nothing bad will--

Surely nothing--

*grits teeth* Surely nothing bad will--

SEVENTEEN MAN-EATING MONKEYS???????

Guys please not now, do you not see us hiding from the swarm of angry monkeys??? 😭😭😭

ok no, we can always make time for humanitarian aid. We were sooo brave and fought off enough monkeys so Marianna and Oliver could sneak away and donate money to *checks notes*: Norma Rubivine the child brawler who is very good at mining despite being only 7 years old because she is a Dirtmole.

(me, crying: Norma come back and hhelp me w the monkeys. Please. Norma.)

Surely nothing bad will hap--

Surely nothing-- AGAIN with the insects???

(*through tears*) Surely nothing bad will--

Aaahhhh ow ow ow almost everyone is downed we have run out of hospital beds aahhhh

So uhhh. Let me end this episode by saying: Dorians arm got cut off by raiders and he almost bled to death and I felt really bad so I made him mayor.

🎉🎊🎉

Thank you once again for letting me borrow your darlings @dr-colossal-pita @choicesmc @rosesnink @stars-are-within-me @lover-also-fighter-also @cadybear420 @storyofmychoices @dutifullynuttywitch ✨✨✨

[danieyells]

Hi! Say, which characters do you think are more top leaning, and which ones more bottom leaning? Or switches? Or, if you think they would lean towards a certain type, but under X circumstances would go the other side?

So to clarify, for the sake of making sure we're all on the same page how i'm referring to everything

Top - generally does or is most in control of the penetrating

Bottom - generally being penetrated or being ridden by the one being penetrated

Verse - top and/or bottom

Dom - generally leads and controls the interaction

Sub - generally is controlled and led throughout the interaction

Switch - dom and/or sub

THIS IS GONNA BE A LITTLE LONG. Tl;dr: lotta tops and doms because of how many strong personalities we've got going here.

Jin: likes to be in control and finds defiance annoying. Distrustful of others. A dom and a top, but if he trusts someone or he otherwise felt comfortable being somewhat vulnerable around them, he might bottom. Occasionally bottoms to keep uppity folks in their place, to show he can dom even from the bottom. Also if you(read: Tohma) can wrestle control from him he'll bottom and maybe submit to some degree, but he'll mouth off about it the whole time. Before things went south, he'd place his vulnerability in Haku and also let Haku dom or top him.

Tohma: he is a servant to his king--and largely only for his king. He'll sub for Jin, but he also tries to maintain control in most situations and his Vagastrom nature means he likes to get a little rough and rowdy now and then. He'll bottom, but he will remain very in control the whole time. He's a bit more tender with Alan, and will let Alan figure out how he wants to do things, because Alan is a bit too shy to really understand things like this and he would want to be patient with him. Mostly a top and a dom though, but understands very well that things are rarely so clean cut, so he won't really be ashamed or embarrassed if he ends up submissive or bottoming.

Kaito: O-of course he's a top! Totally in control! No doubt about it!!! I mean, that's how guys are supposed to be for girls right!!! . . .that is to say, verse switch, tryhard dom with girls, leans sub with boys and people he trusts. He's able to play the part of a top, but unless he's gotten very comfortable and confident it won't be. . .natural? He has a very heteronormative way of viewing these things(he very much thinks he's straight) so if he's with someone smaller or 'weaker' or more feminine than him, he tries to play the part of a top. He'd be too nervous to try with someone else. But also, he's a total people pleaser. If someone he 'should' be topping wants to top him he'll sputter and fidget and say he'll think about it--but since he's a little desperate sometimes he might agree. If he reaches the point of attachment/attraction to someone that he turns down the bravado a bunch, he'll be a lot more openly submissive and nervous, and quicker to agree to something like bottoming because of how much he trusts them. He does want to be better as a top and a dom though--but if his partner likes him more as a bottom he won't worry about it so much.

Lucas: does not know what any of that means. You're gonna have to walk him through it. 100% a verse switch who will do it however his partner wants--he wants experience doing it every way though so, expect very frank requests for who's bottoming/topping and subbing/domming once he's been introduced to the concepts. He would probably like topping more because it feels like a more active role for him and he prefers to put the effort in. I think you would think he doesn't want to be vulnerable, but I think he's absolutely fine with it with someone he'd actually be close enough to have sex with.

Alan: also would be confused about any of this. When you explain he's embarrassed and possibly even more confused. Like Kaito he has a very heteronormative perspective of sex and in his mind he is a Big Strong Man and thus should be on top. But also he's worried about being big and strong and on top. He finds a lot of relief and comfort in being submissive and/or bottoming--harder to do any damage if he's not in control. But he'd be a total gentle service top or dom from the bottom--lots of gentle encouragement and guidance--but also be a submissive bottom if you're someone he'd be afraid of hurting. He'd be shy and flustered either way. He'd be so scared of doing any harm--and he's rough by accident, just because he's not used to being gentle. But he might get so gentle it's unbearable. . . . All in all, tends to bottom because he's worried about the harm he'd do as a top. Switch because he'd feel more comfortable being dommed as to avoid doing harm and he isn't very experienced, but also has some issues with authority and once he gets comfortable he'd start to have his own ideas of how things should be done and might be more willing to dom. Also if he's not afraid of hurting you he'll be more interested in domming and topping. Obviously he would never but bottoms and subs with Dante.

Leo: Dom. Verse as long as he's in control. Leo is very comfortable and confident being in charge and is very very good at being a mean, controlling, dominant top. But he can also be a total bratty bottom if he likes you enough for it or you have the balls to pull and push him into it. Just don't forget that he's a ghoul and while he's not the physically strongest of the ghouls he's still much stronger than a human. Romeo is probably the only person he'll eagerly meet on equal terms in bed(partially because Romeo is so fussy about sex anyway) and he expects Sho to submit to him most of the time. He doms from the bottom a lot, but has no problem topping at all. He likes his partners vulnerable--often tied down and at his mercy--but he also likes to push people into domming him instead. Mostly by pissing them off until they turn the tables, at which point he's bratty and mocking and usually whines afterwards about how rough they were. He plays the part of a subby bottom well, and he might crack and be a cutesy(sassy, bratty--) bottom bitch for you if he's somehow unable to turn the situation around, but he's naturally very in control.

Sho: 90% a verse switch. Goes with the flow of his partner--whatever seems to work best for them works well for him. The other 10% is mostly top and dom, particularly if you tease him a little too much he'll put you in your place. But he's also very prone to teasing and seeing if it gets him begged or pushed down. Bottoms with Leo, tops with Subaru, he and Alan figure it out as they go. Mostly tops with Hyde because Hyde is simply too lax to care either way and Sho has frustrations to work out.

Haru: has not thought about sex since 1962 he is simply too busy MM THIS IS A HARD ONE i think Haru is also a 'go with the flow' type. He's way too busy to pursue sex himself most of the time, so what's brought to him is what he's happy with. (Usually what's brought to him is a horny Towa, at which point he is usually fucked in the grass, cuddled for a while and not allowed to get up, and then Towa wanders off to the next thing that caught his interest without any further concern for Haru.) I feel like he leans sub though--it isn't that he isn't in control, but he'd rather let someone else do the work for once! . . .also he's not very in control. /o\ Bottoms to Towa and Taiga, usually subs with Romeo, bottoms to the janitor. Loves using toys because he spent so much money on all these random sex toys but he never really got to use them.

Towa: Dom/top leaning switch/verse. He loves doing it however it happens, especially if it's with someone he loves, but he has a lot of confidence in himself and his strength and he loves how much weaker others are than he is. And he likes to remind them. Believe it or not he's a lot stronger than most people. As much as he likes being told what to do, it's more that he likes being in control of whether or not someone gets what they want or need and being asked/begged to be the savior. Otherwise he wouldn't have had to think about it when you beg him to save your life.

Ren: sex is already such a hassle and you wanna overcomplicate it more??? Ugh, whatever is the least effort. It really, really depends on his partner and the situation he's in that led to sex happening. He'll put the work in if he likes you, if nothing else. He'd probably be nervous about bottoming, though, but ultimately go with 'whatever, i'll try it' if you want to. He'd end up liking it since he can kinda lie back and let you do everything though.

Taiga: massive sadomasochist so he can't help but be verse. Not great at subbing, he's too controlling and pushy and aggressive. But he'd love for someone to actually be able to put him in his place--they'd have to earn it though. Like physically fight him or otherwise wear him down(drugging him is fine) or something to make him submit. Like he will physically fight for it. You wanna fuck him you've just gotta say so and he'll let you pound his ass all you want, but if you don't want him to be directing you or putting his legs around you and fucking himself on you or pulling you or something you need to like beat him. Don't be afraid of beating him, he loves it! Just know that the second you start he's going to fight back and you might end up with teeth in you. Or worse. He'd absolutely roll over and be a good boy for Romeo now and then. . .if Romeo weren't so fussy about sex to begin with. Tops Haru and Romeo.

Romeo: you know how i said Ren finds sex to be a hassle? Romeo will make you feel like sex is a hassle. Romeo doesn't like being touched or being dirty or sweating too much or risking anything he doesn't like happening to his body or jeopardizing his appearance(disregard that he's a ghoul and anomalous medicine means he's not likely to have any lasting marks from most injuries, let alone your average sex based injuries) so getting him into bed if he doesn't trust you to be clean and competent is nigh impossible. And no, he is not going to bathe you to his standard. Filth. ONCE YOU GET PAST THAT HURDLE THOUGH. . .heavily leans dom verse because he hates not having control and would probably have some rules about how he's to be touched and such, but he loves to be worshipped and appreciated and attended to. . .but also he has no problem using someone else's body as stress relief or controlling them, but he's also such a fussy little pillow princess that he's a good bratty/dom bottom. But you have to get his trust for him to let you have control over him like that. But also he'd love competent control and instruction. . .on the other hand if he really liked and trusted you he wouldn't mind being pushed past his [initial] boundaries and being roughed up. In particular, I imagine he'd love if Taiga did this, but Taiga for some reason doesn't push and they never get anywhere. Tops with Kaito, bottoms with Taiga, switches with Leo assuming they don't get into a lot of frottage and mutual masturbation and other more 'equal' activities, usually doms Haru, doms most of his underlings but might let them top for good behavior(there's rarely good behavior.) Switches with Hyde.

Ritsu: Has no experience but is familiar with the concepts. Believes he'd make a better dom as he's more stringent with rules and regulations. Also very heteronormative--if his partner is smaller/feminine/weaker, he assumes he'll top and dom. However he'd like to be more familiar with all sides of the experience, and wouldn't consider himself anything concrete. Switch and verse, as scheduled and as needed. Consultation is recommended to minimize prep times.

Subaru: okay first of all. He doesn't even like touching people. That's just so much to go through before you start sleeping with someone. Touch them and you get fragments of their memories? And then you wanna be touching for at least a few minutes at a time???? Dom because he needs to be in control of the contact aspect for his own sanity--if he trusts you to be considerate of that, generally submissive. Verse otherwise--he's an actor and has been since he was 4, if he knows anything it's playing roles. And he wants to please his partner more than anything, so he generally works with what suits them. However his lack of experience leads him to bottom a lot more. Bottoms to Sho and usually to Haru and Lyca, although he doms Lyca even while bottoming. Not that Lyca listens very much. . .he's a bit of a weak dom but he tries.

Haku: while i personally think he isn't as heteronormatively minded as Kaito and Alan he is still very 'this is how guys are, i am a man i don't know what you expected' so he does have a very 'boys top girls' default. . .but he has no problem going against that. He's another 'we'll see how it goes' character who works with his partner to see what meshes best with them. He thinks the whole dom/sub top/bottom thing is a bit of a pain--interests and feelings are more fluid than that. Just see how it goes when you get in bed. Maybe set out a plan beforehand. But no need to categorize. He won't fuss either way. Total verse switch.

Zenji: CANNOT TOUCH YOU. But assuming he was able. . .oh god. I don't even know. I don't think he'd be picky tbh. A good artist knows how important perspective is--so why not try it however you want it? Even if it isn't what he was expecting or planning? He'll work with you, what would you like to do? He wants to please you! Maybe favors being on top because if he can touch you he really wants to. He wants to show his partner to the full extent of his ability how good he can make them feel. On the other hand, he'd be a giddy, excited bottom who'd love being attended to in every aspect and who wouldn't be able to take being teased too long. I think he'd just be so eager no matter what. To be in someone's arms, to be touched and heard and acknowledged. To sing for someone when they touch him and to make someone sing for him when he touches them. Just very much a verse switch.

Edward: SO WE DON'T KNOW A TON ABOUT EDWARD YET. But from what we do know. . .I think his laziness would get the better of him and he'd want to bottom. He rubs me as a sweet, teasing bottom. Might play innocent with you. BUT THESE SRE JUST IMPRESSIONS BASED ON RUI'S CRITICISMS. MAYBE ASK AGAIN IN A COUPLE WEEKS WHEN WE'VE GOTTEN THE OBSCUARY CHAPTER.

Rui: so he can't touch you. Like, he can, but you'll die. So. . .getting that close is a little scary for everyone involved. Anyway Rui is the one character who's canonically said he doesn't swing that way(while talking to Tohma--in Japanese he says "I'm nly interested in girks") which doesn't mean ANYTHING in fandom so I can do what I want with him kekw. But it does suggest More Heteronormativity but perhaps a little more strict. Plus since he's scared of touching people even with clothes/fabric between, I think he would feel more comfortable in control of the situation. He's not a hard dom by any means, he's very chill, but it helps him feel comfortable due to the threat of his restrictions, same with Subaru. He'd probably be on top just because you'd probably be playing with a lot of toys and he'd rather control that too unless they were toys that could be used at a bit more of a distance, unless you were pegging him with clothes on. He'd still be worried about that contact through clothes could still be dangerous, but it would definitely be another way to go about it. . .if you could convince him to try it. All in all I think he'd lean dom/top just because it gives him a little more control over what could be a potentially deadly situation.

Lyca: Definitely depends on the partner but. . .leaning verse sub. Wolves are pack animals and he understands he's not really the 'leader' here. He'd want to defer to someone with more experience--although he's not a "good" sub, as he doesn't listen very well and just kind of does and says whatever he pleases most of the time. But he accepts punishment(with some fuss.) He'd also probably want to 'fight' for if he tops or bottoms, though nothing crazy like with domming Taiga. But he has no problem taking it if you've earned it(he likes topping more but he doesn't not enjoy bottoming.) on the other hand he also doesn't have a problem being the one in charge--it would feel good to have some control back after being locked up for so long!--but I feel like he wouldn't know what to do with it. He seems fairly simple-minded so far, so maybe he ends up more of a dominating top when his rut rolls around. Breeding seasons and all that. Probably ends up topping a lot just because there are more bottoms around him tho. Subs and tops Subaru, tops Ed. Bottoms to Haku.

Yuri: if it's his mama he'll do whatever they want. Definitely a dom, it's even in his character profile. But he's the "I'm too busy for such things" type. May or may not want you to beg for his attention. He's a total control freak I think, so he'd want to top too. On the other hand, it's important to bottom too, for the Knowledge and Experience. . .but he's not a test subject, that's mostly for Jiro and the pc and other experiments! . . .but for the pc, whom he's decided is his mama, he'd do whatever they're interested in. He's weak to his mama, he wants them to be happy and to feel good. . .he'll consider being submissive or bottoming for them, but he mostly goes from cruel top to service top. Tops Jiro. Nicolas is, in Romeo's words, a prude, but he would top Nicolas too.

Jiro: doesn't really like things without a point. I guarantee you his thought process is "You want to have sex? I don't think it would be advisable for either of us to have children at this point. . . .why else if not for that? Oh. For personal pleasure and/or intimate bonding. That sounds fine, then. I'll let you know when I'm not busy." Since it's for pleasure and not for business he'd just ask his partner what they want. He's definitely more submissive like that. . .unless an idea's caught his mind. Then he might be more dominant to satisfy that curiosity/interest. Bottoms to Yuri, switches with Nicolas.

HOPE THAT ALL MAKES SENSE ANON.

[yandere-romanticaa]

Whos the best daddy: oda, jingyuan or childe?

WELCOME TO THE DADDY OLYMPICS 🔥

I shall be your fine hostess for the evening so BUCKLE UP! We have a fine selection of men here, all amazing but do not be fooled by their charms, they are beyond deadly!! In the wise words of Mr Pedro Pascal "Daddy is a state of mind." and today, we shall find out which one of these three men has what it takes!

The first man we have is the 11th Harbinger, Tartaglia! Or Childe! Or Ajax! Or however the fuck you want to call him, he has too many names!! (One is enough my good Sir.)

Renowned as a family man, Mr Tartaglia writes letters to his whole family and loves all of his siblings very much, so much so that he is willing to lie in order to keep their dreams intact. While some people might argue what he is doing is wrong (and in a way they're right) but his intentions are always pure and just wants his family to have a good life.

What a gem of a man!

We are also aware that this man is LOADED, so his family or friends do not need to worry about any expenses whatsoever, regardless of how much they cost, Mr Tartaglia has you COVERED!

However.

As unfortunate as it may be, Mr Tartaglia simply lacks the certain finesse that your classic Daddy™ requires to have. His boyish charms are out of this world but they are indeed just that - boyish!

Besides, I personally believe that he'd be more of a "Sir" type of guy. "Sir" and "Daddy" are indeed powerful authority figures but there is a slight difference there.

The final ranking for Mr Tartaglia is 6/10. He is handsome and strong, but he's too much of a kind elder brother figure, or a "Sir" to ever truly quality as a Daddy. At least, that's what I think.

Oh boy, it's getting saucy now! 🥴🤤

This is general Jing Yuan, a man renowned for his lazy and carefree attitude but behind that smile is an incredible tactician who can strike like a lion at any given moment. Despite his attitude, be very, very afraid of him.

Isn't that just so sexy of him?

Tall, husky and sweet, Jing Yuan fits the mold of "Daddy" quite nicely. And to top it off, he has a young child under his care! Their interactions are heartwarming and precious, I can't stop staring at the screen whenever the two are on it and I know for a fact that I'm not alone there <333

His out of this world voice (I'm talking about the English dub) makes me melt - if he tells me to do something, I will do it.

No questions asked.

His authority as a general also gives him great power and leverage as well. A kind man who has the ability to crush anyone who gets in his way is always an amazing Daddy™!

I simply must give this beautiful general a perfect 10/10 score! 😍

And finally, the last man of the hour is the darling Oda Sakunosuke, or Odasaku for short! <33 :3

Where, oh where do I begin with this man? He has the blood of many people on his hands and yet, he managed to worm his way into the heart of the Port Mafia's youngest but most dangerous executive that has ever lived, which is nothing to scoff at I assure you.

While his status as a mafioso gives an air of uncertainty about his whereabouts and well being, it is safe to say that he, like Jing Yuan, is quite the Daddy™. Kind, caring but also incredibly humorous, he is the ideal package. Walks and coffee shop dates would be beyond interesting with this man and besides, I'm sure that his long and slender fingers will be good for other things besides writing! ;)

This man also takes care of an entire gaggle of orphans! Isn't he just amazing?!

Unfortunately, there is one glaring issue though -

His kids are dead!!

That's right you heard it here folks, his kids got blown up! Don't worry Odasaku, I'll be more than happy to give you as many kids as you want! Do you want a son? A daughter? Both??

My body is READY!

As much as I want to give this man a 10, his job and the fact that his kids are blown to bits knocks out a point. I'm sorry Odasaku, but your final ranking is a strong and massive 9/10.

Folks, this is where you step in! Yes that's right, YOU! YOU vote which one of these men is the ✨ ULTIMATE DADDY! ✨

[conkers-thecosy]

Bagginshield-tober / Day 5 / Riddles

Hi folks! Here's my offering for day five of the "Bagginshield-tober" prompt list, by the lovely @smolestboop 💛

You can also find these little snippets compiled into one fic on AO3

It's unlikely I'll be able to post tomorrow because I have a stupid work thing in the evening that I can't get out of, but I plan to post a double-whammy on Saturday to make up for it!

~*~*~

“I have a new riddle,” Bilbo smiled over the top of his book, eyes darting up only quickly. “Would you like to hear it?”

Thorin had never cared much for riddles, in truth. It had always seemed a silly and frivolous waste of time to him before, labouring and weary under the burden of leadership as he had always been. Now he found himself more at leisure in the Shire, the only engagements not nearly pressing in any manner, and had learnt from Bilbo the joy of relaxation. 

He had certainly found more time to read for pleasure than he had before, and he no longer gained headaches from the activity due to the spectacles Bilbo had somehow procured for him - something Thorin’ pride would never have allowed him to wear before, but somehow didn’t bother him here. He had begun to craft for pleasure again, finding much joy in the simplicity of using his skill for nothing but his own fulfilment.

Riddles, however, were Bilbo’s pastime. Thorin knew how much the Hobbit enjoyed making them up and seeing if they worked, or even sharing any he found particularly amusing. He found a willing audience in Thorin, who loved to see the mischief and excitement in his green eyes whenever the topic arose. 

“I would like that,” Thorin replied, taking off his spectacles, then closing his book and replacing both onto the table beside his armchair. 

Well. It was exactly his armchair, but it was the one he sat in each night, opposite Bilbo who was often knitting, or writing into a little notebook, or just reading himself. Sometimes he asked Thorin to read aloud, as though the sound of his voice gave him comfort of some kind. 

“It’s not too tricky,” Bilbo said, not putting his own book away, turning a page delicately with one finger as he spoke. “Unless you look too hard at it, or perhaps don’t want to know the answer, that is.”

Thorin frowned a little. “Is this the riddle?”

“I suppose it sounds a little like a riddle all its own, doesn’t it?” Bilbo chuckled. “But no, I meant that only as a hint, of sorts. Are you ready?”

This one must be important, or particularly difficult then, Thorin reasoned to himself. Bilbo didn’t give hints usually, which meant he really wanted for Thorin to get the answer, or that he thought it might be too difficult. The dwarf lifted his chin a little, his long-sleeping pride pricked by the idea that Bilbo might think he couldn’t reason the answer without help. 

“Please go ahead.”

Bilbo flashed him another quick smile, as though having meant to challenge Thorin and jostle his ego a bit, then turned another page. “What fills this smial, but takes up no space. It is fine for one, but better shared. It is mine, but it belongs to you.”

Thorin frowned hard, trying to puzzle this out. It didn’t really make sense, how could something fill up a home, yet take up no space?

“Air?” he hazarded, and Bilbo’s eyebrow quirked with amusement. 

“Try again.”

Thorin went back to pondering, this time taking a little longer about it. Bilbo turned two further pages in the interim, before the dwarf spoke again. 

“Pipe smoke?”

“There had best not be any pipe smoke in this smial, Thorin,” Bilbo chastised, though with a laugh. “One more try.”

“I did not realise there was a limit,” Thorin grumbled, watching as Bilbo continued to look down at his book. He turned another page, and Thorin petulantly decided he couldn’t possibly be reading it that fast.

“Do you give up?”

“Of course not,” Thorin frowned, irritated by the whole business now. Normally this was just a little fun, a bit of light entertainment and something Bilbo enjoyed, and Thorin liked being part of. This time there was something different about it. Something heavy. Important. He felt like he was being told a secret, but he couldn’t fathom for the life of him what it might be.

“Well,” Bilbo closed his book at last and smiled fondly across at him. “Perhaps you need more time. Tea?”

With that, Bilbo was up and wandering out to the kitchen to make them a hot drink, leaving Thorin to stew over his words like a frustrated child. 

As it turned out, Thorin still didn’t care much for riddles, after all.

[hana-no-seiiki]

༊*·˚ GUEST IS GOD CUSTOMER SERVICE お客様は神様 カスタマーサービス ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

☎️ . . . HELLO HELLO! You have reached the Guest is God’s customer service line. How may I help you, dearest guest? ♡

Oh, you’re new ? My my, why don’t I introduce you to our establishment first, shall we ?

line status: unedited

The Guest is God Host Club is home to many of our fantastic hosts here to make your day, afternoon, or evening a little more interesting. Our employees cover a vast amount of needs our visitors might want from a regular old friend to talk to or maybe a dominant sexual deviant to spend the night with !

It’s important to know that despite our guests position as gods and goddesses of our club, to touch and perform any type of activities must with our hosts must first ask for consent. The best way would be to use our in-house formats such as “May this god . . . ? “ or “Could you service this god by . . . ?” as our staff are trained to respond immediately to this call.

If you break any of the rules, especially the one above, you are to be eliminated escorted outside the premises and blacklisted from entering.

So, dearest Guest. Please make sure to read our rulebook thoroughly !

Now that you know what The Guest is God is, how about I introduce you to our hosts and hostesses?

Now I may be a bit biased, but [L/N] [Y/N] has got to be my favorite ♡ You’ll find them to be the best match for you if you’re interested in the maid types . [Y/N] may act like a bit of a brat at times however, as such it’s your job as our guest to put them in their place ! We can’t have a disobedient servant after all . Oh oh, and I heard, if you pay extra you can bring them home to do your chores and what not. Aren’t you just excited by the thought of —

[ You hear an awfully loud cough from the other side and a couple of smacks. ]

Thanks but th-that hurt, y’know!

Fine ! Fine ! Moving on. Geez.

Now, Hazu Kashi is our latest addition so there may be times he . . . gets out of character but rest assured he’ll get to an acceptable level . . . one day. He’s supposed to represent the Dominant Daddy type but he’s a bit too shy. I honestly don’t know what boss was thinking trying to —

[ Another smack, this time much, much louder ]

He does pack a hit however! [ groan ] Making him the perfect sadist to entertain any of your masochistic needs!

Unto our next host, shall we?

If you’re looking for a more experienced worker. Ms. Hilda Mcguire might be more up your speed. She has worked here for close to a decade now and used to be the top of the ranks before [Y/N]. If you’re into the classic femme fatale who’ll sweep you right off your feet then I suggest scheduling a meeting with her.

Mmm . . . who next . . .

Oh Oh! If you’re up for even more spice in your life, might I direct you to our very own Orochi Kimura! The Yandere Lover. Signing up for them is a little tricky though. Buncha waivers regarding privacy and the lack thereof moving forward with his contract, possible missing peers and family members, bloody letters and what not.

Ah, you want something a little more tame?

Keisuke Abe is pretty rough around the edges. If you like a little excitement but not - well risk your life and all that. Keisuke is pretty fun to hang out with. Though the smell of alcohol in his dedicated room is quite nauseating. He’s great at bringing people out of their shells !

For guests with more expensive tastes, I recommend Junichiro and Nao. Jun is the perfect sugar baby for those whose time is little and wallets big. Give him a gift or two and he’ll be yours to use however you’d like. Nao on the other hand is for guests who love to be on the receiving end.

Tired of demure partners? Why don’t you try Masashi? Personally I wouldn’t hang out more than I have to with the grump, but surprisingly he’s quite popular with the folks here. Some people really do like getting insulted 24/7 huh?

On the other hand, if you like the definition of bland . . . er - shy. Well Haku, Hazu’s twin, should be right up your alley! He’s more of a listener than a talker, so he’s usually partnered with chatty clients.

Let’s get some estrogen back in for our last few introductions . . .

Hinata has to be my second favorite next to [Y/N]. She used to work as a regular old nurse both in and out of the club until Boss was looking for a potential replacement for the latter. Fortunately I heard that [Y/N]’s graduation was cancelled so they’re both available at the moment. As a host she’s pretty similar but with less of the formal speech and more of the motherly vibes, y’know?

Emi Ishii is a jack of all trades when it comes to the sibling-con types. May it be the clingy little sister or the big boobie- [cough] nice older sister, Emi’s got ya covered! A little warning though, that girl can talk for hours if you pick the little sister option. Even I got winded.

And last but not least, we have our general staff members. You might encounter us once in a while during your stays inside the club.

Our boss Mr. Melchior is basically as old as time at this point. I heard from Ms. Hilda that he’s been here since she started working ten years ago and he has not age a bit! He can be really, really scary when people break the rules . .

Ursa or what we usually call her, Bear, is in charge of security. Nothing gets past her sight. If you ever see a big bear mask and claws. Make sure you’re in your best possible behavior.

If you’re having scheduling problems or issues with how your host is acting, please contact either Akihiko Sugimoto or Mei Lan. They’re in-charge of human resources and management respectively.

A quick ring of a bell will alert Kin, our cleaner of any messes you’d like to have gone. He doesn’t exactly talk so don’t expect a conversation if you ever pass by him down the halls.

And last but not least, little old me! I man the desk 24/7. No rest for the wicked they say h a h a! You can call me Youko. I’ll be handling your documents, log in times, and what-not in addition to any questions you may have about The Guest is God.

You still need a bit more time to choose?

Once you’ve made a decision just give this number another ring. I’ll be right here to guide you along the sign-up process.

Hope to see you here soon, Mr. Eden Whitlock!

GUEST IS GOD REGULARS: [reply to be added to the taglist]

©️ hana-no-seiiki 2023.

[baronetcoins]

So. The US has a speaker of the house(*). If you've seen the memes floating around for the past few days, you might find yourself wondering: how did that happen? Buckle in folks, this was a bit of a ride.

(*) for now

When we last left our... main characters, Kevin McCarthy had failed an 11th ballot to be elected speaker, down 20 Republican votes when he could afford a maximum of five defectors. The house then voted to adjourn until 12 eastern time on January 6th. Overnight, some deals happened, because for the first time since day 1 there was a significant movement in votes. Round 12 saw 14 of the representatives who had previously been defectors voted for McCarthy—not enough to give him the speakership (lmao, imagine?), but enough to prove his chances of victory weren't entirely dead. Important for later, three representatives were absent—Ken Buck (R-Colorado), Wesley Hunt (R-Texas), and David Trone (D-Maryland).

Round 13 went much the same in actual voter count, with one more of the never-Kevins peeling off to vote for McCarthy, though it was the first round in which there was not another republican candidate formally nominated. Trone came out of his voluntary surgery to vote for Hakeem Jeffries, and there was a motion to adjourn so the republican caucus could continue haggling, which passed. Setting the house up to reconvene at 10 pm eastern time, and some of the most dramatic hours we've seen in this whole glorious train wreck.

Signs suggested Kevin was feeling good—when asked why he felt confident he had the votes to clinch this, he responded "because I count." Two of the more notorious never-Kevins (Boebert and Gaetz) seemed open to negotiating. The press reported Buck and Hunt would be returning for the evening vote. A cart loaded with giant boxes of Five Guys burgers rolled into the speaker's office.

The hours pass. 10 pm rolls around, and the air is thick with anticipation. The house chaplain offers a prayer in which she suggests the gridlock may finally be over. Patrick McHenry (R-North Carolina) gives a nominating speech for McCarthy with not one but two jokes that fell extraordinarily flat, all the while wearing a bow tie.

Now, the votes for speaker are conducted as roll call votes. The poor, probably underpaid, long-suffering house clerk reads off the name of each representative in alphabetical order, then goes through a second time calling the name of any representative who didn't vote the first time. This takes... a while, but what it means is that when you know who's vote to watch, you spend a while in anticipation of that person's name being called, listening to the alphabet.

The other thing to understand, as this gets deep into the weeds, is a little more of the nuts and bolts of how the count works. The speaker of the house is elected by a majority of the votes cast—that is to say, the number of representatives-elect who vote for a name instead of not voting or voting present, divided by half, plus one.

M = [ (# reps elect - # of reps elect not voting - # of reps elect voting present)/2 ] + 1

The US House, while normally filled with 435 reps, currently has 434, due to one death. 212 of those are democrats, the remainder are republicans. If all 434 vote, the threshold for a majority is 218 (434/2, +1). If, say, two members vote present and everyone else votes, the threshold is 217.

The remaining detractors were Biggs, Boebert, Crane, Gaetz, Good, and Rosendale. Biggs, first on the list, voted for a non-Kevin guy, Jordan. Boebert, second in line, voted present. This was a difference that got audible applause from the chamber. For one brief, beautiful, shining moment, it seemed like we might have a resolution. And then Crane votes for Biggs, which. Fine. Kevin can spare a few losses. And then, Gaetz doesn't. vote. Not voting present, which is a different thing. He just lets the first round skip him. Good votes for Jordan. Rosendale votes for Biggs. At which point, the math is as follows. 434 congresspeople, 432 votes, 217 to win. McCarthy has 216 votes. It all comes down to Gaetz: if he votes for McCarthy, Kevin wins. Anything else, and we're doing this again.

Gaetz. Votes. Present.

At first, this gets cheers and claps. And I look at my mom, who's watching the vote with me, and wonder "what the fuck?" The reaction makes me doubt my math. The floor is in chaos. Pretty quickly, it seems people realize that McCarthy is not, in fact, speaker of the house. Kevin runs back towards Gaetz and starts "negotiating" (fig 1)

Fig. 1: things get heated

A democrat heckles from the distance, yelling "On your knees!" To Kevin as he approached Gaetz. There are calls for order. Mike Rogers, R-Alabama, has to be physically dragged away from Gaetz (fig 2)

Fig. 2: lol, and furthermore, lmao

All this, followed by a motion to adjourn until Monday that at first appears to be successful, until Kevin runs to the front to tell members to change their votes. It appears a deal has been struck—and ballot 15 proves it. All the remaining holdouts vote present, lowering the threshold to 215, and allowing Kevin's 216 votes to take him over the line. Truly, our long national nightmare has come to a middle.

What does this mean? Probably bad things. The rules package and committee assignments are yet to be formalized (that'll come on Monday), but expect the house ""freedom"" caucus to be more or less running the show (*) (*pending a long and bloody battle over the rules, which is, IMO, still on the table).

I could go through the speeches, but it's 2:30 am and I've got a flight tomorrow so I would literally Rather Perish so instead, to conclude, i'll leave you with this.

(3: source)

[nihilara]

some... sft tidbits. nsft are below read more.

generally speaking, kuro is a bit cautious about entering a relationship. he is a fairly touch-starved, and lonely individual, so he takes any romantic relationship he makes with another quite seriously. the biggest issue is however, that he will outlive most anyone he's with. despite his age ( in main he's about 3k years old ), it has not made it easier for him to manage the grief of losing people. so he's gotta just be ready for it, and find someone that's worth suffering that grief for.

that said, he is very doting, and very affectionate. his partner will always come before himself, their safety and happiness are his priority.

it's important to note that being with someone, gives kuro a new reason to really live-- and enjoy life. in a complicated sort of "im immortal and ive lived so long there's not much joy in living" kind of way. his flavor of nihilism is malleable, and shifts around itself, as he finds things in life that make him happy ( they come and go ). nothing matters-- except this person i've now devoted myself to. idk if i'm explaining it very well, but the point is that kuro is an extremely dedicated, and loyal partner.

yes he loves instant noodles, but kuro is actually a phenomenal cook. and being his partner means he's likely to cook for you any chance he gets.

being morally grey, his range on potential partners is quite varied. and he's at a point in his life where he'd probably be down to kiss monsters too. whatever man. so long as you're not spouting nonsense about ending the world for god- or... doing other shit that's problematic, or not needlessly cruel or over the top, you're good.

fella is actually quite charming when he tries to me. as if his awkwardness doesn't give him a charm all on it's own. he isn't mr suave and perfect, but he knows how to talk, and treat people well...

nsft stuff hehehhh...

kuro is not against having casual sex. pleasure is pleasure, and he's actually very capable of separating it from any potential romantic feelings.

i mean at this point in his life? he's vers, and he's a switch. he's willing to try just about anything within reason. tie him up, gag him, smack him around a bit. he does tend to lean more to bottom though, partially due to wanting to let someone else have some kind of control over him??? but he also just prefers it. he can top though, and he can be nice, or mean. again. just ask.

he might come across as awkward honestly, but he adjusts quickly. he isn't out here having sex very often?? or getting frisky with folks a lot??? kuro can go decades with no intimacy and be fine. so sometimes he just needs a moment to get back into it.

he... will usually prioritize his partner's pleasure over his own. a good part of it is due to kuro enjoying being edged. a lot. but he also loves watching them enjoying themselves due to his own efforts? it's satisfying. sometimes he wont even worry about getting off, unless his partner wants that.

reminding everyone, he is 195cm tall. ( 6'5 almost )

his libido comes and goes. it's honestly situational, and there are times when it takes a lot to get him going, or get him off- and times when it's pretty average.

i'm sure i could think of a lot more, but kuro is just? open minded and willing to try just about anything you ask.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

The Morning is Sure to Come

Fantasy Masks AU: Chapter Thirty-Four

A JSE Fanfic

A lot of stuff happens in this one, and I'm not really sure how to describe it. Chase talks with his kids some more, and then falls asleep and has another dream with Jack, where he learns some more about the situation that was revealed last time. And meanwhile, Henrik, Jackie, and Marvin are getting close to Suilthair and scouting it out, looking for Chase and Jameson. Huh. Guess it wasn't as difficult as I thought. Anyway, with the summary done, I'll leave you to it. Enjoy! :D

Previous Part | | From the Start | More AU

Taglist: @brokentimewatch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two more days, and Chase and Jameson were still stuck hiding in the abandoned boathouse. They passed the time with Chase giving Jameson lessons on some combat maneuvers. It was strange without actual weapons, but Jameson appreciated it nonetheless. Surprisingly, he remembered a lot of these moves, either from his time at Wyvernlair or his youth when he was learning self-defense. But he was a bit rusty actually going through the motions.

“There has to be somewhere to get weapons in the city,” Chase muttered. “At this point, I think I can go out without too much suspicion. If I’m careful and come right back.”

Do you have any money? Jameson asked. I don’t, and I know weapons shops have high security.

“Damn. You’re right. It’s too risky to steal them. I could ask Amabel for money—no, I don’t want to do that.” Chase shook his head. “She’d probably take it from Stacia, a-and she might get in trouble, and I don’t want that.”

It’s fine, Jameson said. We’re doing well enough without them.

“For now,” Chase muttered. “Eventually we need to find a way off this island. And when we make our escape, we need to be prepared for a fight.”

Even though they couldn’t go out into town to get weapons, Chase started going around for other reasons. Gathering more information, mostly. Trying to find that way out of Suilthair. If there was one good thing about the week he wasted wandering around the city, it was that he developed a reputation. The common folk recognized him. They knew he was one of them and that the biggest danger he posed to anyone was asking for money. There was no reason to report someone like him to the royal warriors. He was pretty harmless in their eyes. Chase still had to worry about avoiding patrols, but at least he didn’t have to worry about everything.

Unfortunately, nobody he talked to knew of any way out of Suilthair besides the ferry. They were all quite insistent on that. Chase wondered if this was, perhaps, caused by the King’s enchantment influence. Maybe by making people want to stay in the city, he made them forget anything besides the official ferries? But surely there had to be smugglers or something. Who was he supposed to ask about that? Probably people who were more dangerous than the average cityfolk. Were they desperate enough to do that yet? No... maybe not. But in a couple more days, they might be.

Amabel continued to stop by every morning and evening. Chase was always happy to see her, even if he was getting more and more worried. If she kept doing this, someone would eventually notice where she was going. “Amy, are you sure this is safe?” he asked. 

“Mm-hmm.” Amabel nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Alright,” Chase said hesitantly. “But if it gets too dangerous, if people see you come here, I want you to stop.”

Amabel blinked. “Huh? No, I’m not gonna stop.”

“Amabel, I’m serious,” Chase said firmly. “What me and Jameson are doing is really dangerous, we don’t want you caught up in it.”

“You haven’t even told me what it’s all about!”

“Because you’re safer if you don’t know anything,” Chase said. He paused for a moment, trying to think about a way to explain that there was a chance the King could hear her thoughts if she got in too much trouble. “The people we’re up against have ways—magical ways—to find stuff out, even if you’re very, very careful. But if you really don’t know what they’re talking about, then they can’t do anything.”

Amabel stared at him. “Do you mean they’d hurt me?”

Chase was quiet for a moment. He didn’t want to tell his daughter that yes, the people out there would hurt her. “I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe.” When the King sent the warriors to their home, they didn’t kill the children. But he wasn’t sure if that was because the King—or, the spirit controlling the King, as he had to remind himself—really didn’t want to cross that line, or if it was simply because he was focusing on eliminating the adult man who would defeat him one day.

Amabel was also quiet upon hearing that. Then she nodded. “Okay. I promise I’ll stop coming to see you if I think people see me. I don’t want anything to happen to Quentin or Mom without me.”

Chase gives her a small, sad smile. “You know you don’t have to be responsible for them, right?”

“Yeah, but... I wanna be there,” Amabel said slowly. “To, uh... Because...” She trailed off, unable to put words to the feelings she had.

Because you care about them? Jameson asked.

“Yea! Thank you, uh, Mr. Jameson,” Amabel said. “Oh. Dad. Quentin wants to come by tomorrow morning. Remember, you said I could bring him?”

“O-of course I remember,” Chase said. “Be very careful, it’ll be worse if both of you get in trouble.”

“Don’t worry, I can do it,” Amabel promised.

“Okay. In that case, I’ll see both of you tomorrow.”

The rest of that day passed without much of note, and tomorrow morning, Jameson shook Chase awake a bit earlier than normal. Your children are coming, he said, pointing to the ajar boathouse door.

Chase got up quickly and opened the door fully. It was a cloudy day today, but not gloomy. Even with the weak early morning light he could clearly see Amabel walking down the wooden walkway towards the boathouse, holding her brother’s hand in hers. Quentin waved at Chase, smiling when he saw him, and almost shouted a greeting before Amabel leaned close and murmured something to him.

Your children are both so cute, Jameson said, smiling.

“Hah. Thanks. Quentin takes more after his mother, y’know. He has her hair exactly.”

The kids walked up to the boathouse door, and the moment they were inside Quentin shouted, “DAD!” and tackled Chase in a hug.

“Whoa!” Chase pretended to stumble back from the force of the hug, then laughed and leaned down to hug his son. “Hey, Quen. Wow, you’ve gotten so much bigger and stronger.”

“Really?!” Quentin beamed. He looked over at Jameson. “Hi! Bellie says your name is Jameson and you speak in hands. Is that true?!”

Jameson chuckled silently and nodded. Can you understand me?

“Uh... I think you asked if I know handspeak, and I mean, a little. Bellie is better at it.”

“That’s me.” Amabel raised her hand.

Thank you, young lady, I did think that’s what he meant.

“Heh.” Amabel grinned.

“I’m so happy to see you, Dad!” Quentin squeezed him tighter.

“I’m so happy to see you, too.” Chase wrapped his arms around Quentin and lifted him into the air, causing him to shriek with delight. He was a bit too big for this to be easy, but Chase didn’t care, if he could make it work he would. “Now, did Amabel tell you that I’m not staying forever?”

Quentin nodded. “She said you were really busy and that you couldn’t talk about it because it’s secret, even from Mom. Is that why Mom is mad at you? Because she doesn’t like secrets?”

“...hah.” Chase gave a sad little smile. “Your Mom doesn’t even know about the secret. She thinks that I left you guys because I wanted to. But I didn’t.” He blinked back tears. “I promise, I didn’t want to leave you guys. I’ve been trying to find you for a long time.”

“Why can’t we come with you?” Quentin asked, whining a little.

“Because this is grown-up stuff, Quentin. It’s no place for someone like you.”

“Because I’m too sick all the time?” Quentin grumbled.

“No, that’s not it at all.” Chase shook his head. “I’m not letting Amabel come, either. The problem is that you’re both too little. It’s not something shallow like you getting sick. I’ve told you, that doesn’t change what you can want to do.”

“Hmmm.” Quentin frowned, a thoughtful expression on his little face, then nodded. “Okaaaay... I get it. But I really miss you, Dad.”

“I know, I miss you so much, too.” Chase looked at Amabel. “Both of you.” Then he set Quentin down. “I have to leave soon, you know. It might be really sudden. I might not have the chance to say goodbye. Do you two know that?”

Amabel nodded slowly. Quentin looked at her and nodded as well. But maybe he was just copying what she did.

“If that happens, it’s not because I don’t love you two, or your mom,” Chase continued. “It’s not because I don’t want to be around you or because I don’t miss you or because I’d rather be doing something else. It’s just... really unlucky that I had to leave and couldn’t say bye. This thing I’m doing is important. Not more important than you, in my mind, but it’s very important to a lot of people. And it’ll help you guys, too, though you might not understand how.”

“Okay, Dad,” Amabel said, nodding again more firmly.

“So... Mom is wrong?” Quentin asked.

Chase hesitated. “Mom isn’t really wrong, she’s just... made a mistake. But that’s okay.”

“Oh.” Quentin nodded along with Amabel again.

Chase laughed a little. “You two look like little chickens with your heads bobbing like that,” he said teasingly.

“Wha—Da-ad!” Amabel put her hands on her hips, while Quentin giggled at the image. “Fine, Dad, I guess I’m not gonna give you this food.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, Amy. It was just a joke.”

Amabel sighed. “I know. Here. We can have breakfast together. Or, I guess it’ll be a snack for us, we already ate.”

The group sat on the wooden floor of the boathouse and ate together. Quentin asked Jameson a lot of questions, and Chase translated Jameson’s handspeak answers when the boy struggled with them. Then, after what felt like a too-short time, Amabel and Quentin got up, said their goodbyes, and Amabel promised to see them again that evening. Chase watched them go, waving, trying not to show his sadness. As soon as they were out of sight, he fully closed the door, sighing.

Everything alright, Chase? Jameson asked.

“It just... gets harder to see them,” Chase said quietly. “Knowing that eventually, I’ll have to say goodbye again. I get this pang of... of grief.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “Right here. And it gets stronger every time.”

Jameson looked at him sadly. You know... my father once told me not to borrow grief from the future. I don’t think I understood what he meant until now.

“What did he mean?” Chase asked, confused.

You’re not leaving them yet, Chase, Jameson said. You will, but you’re not leaving them right now. You’ll just hurt yourself thinking about it. And you won’t be able to treasure this time together if you’re hurt.

Chase blinked. Something about that went straight into his core, hitting a ball of something that he didn’t even realize was there. “That... that makes sense,” he whispered. “Thanks, Jameson.”

Jameson smiled. Happy to help in any way.

The rest of the day passed as normal. Chase briefly wandered around a bit, returning by the time Amabel visited in the evening. Then he and Jameson talked about more possibilities of escape. But they were running short on topics, having already talked about this for so long, that they ended up going to bed early. Chase took the first watch. And when it was his time to sleep, he fell asleep right away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the first day of boating up the river, the group of Phantoms had to switch boats. The flatbed boat they’d used for traveling the Moors would be no good on the Muinra Avon. It wouldn’t be able to handle the more intense waves and deeper waters. Instead, they used a boat that looked like a miniature ship, once again borrowing it from a small group of people. They weren’t Phantoms, but they must have been sympathetic to the cause. Or maybe they were paid really well and were smart enough to not ask questions.

Henrik was in a bit of a daze for the whole trip. Not because of his symptoms, for once. It was hard to believe that he and Vsevna were really officially courting. And yet it was true. Something that Vsevna reminded him of on the morning of the fourth day of the trip by sneaking up on him and kissing him on the cheek. “Morning, sova.”

“Ah!” Henrik’s face turned very red. “Morning, Vsevna.” He couldn’t help the smile spreading across his mouth. “I, ah, I-I hear that we will be arriving at Suilthair today.”

“In the evening, yes.” Vsevna nodded. “We will have to talk about what to do there some more. But for now, we can enjoy the journey.”

“Indeed.” Henrik hesitated, then reached out and took Vsevna’s hand. “Do you want to show me around the new boat?”

Vsevna’s eye lit up. “Of course.”

The scenery passed surprisingly quickly, even though they were heading the opposite direction of the current. One of the sailors, Talinir, mentioned something about having a favorable wind. Jackie and Marvin spent most of their time on the deck, with Jackie continuing the training he was doing on the ship. Marvin just sat around, watching the sailors. Jackie tried to tease him for a moment about how he was watching one of the sailors, Mona, quite a lot, but Marvin just muttered something about how he had a cat mask first and how it just looked strange when two people whose names started with the M sound had the same kind of mask. “We look like we’re a pair, but I’ve never seen her before.” So Jackie shrugged that off, a bit sad that he couldn’t tease both his friends for having sweethearts.

Around late afternoon, the boat stopped for a moment, lowering its anchor. The Phantoms gathered in the center of the deck to discuss a plan. “I mentioned this a couple days ago,” Marvin said, “but I have the ability to see through my familiar’s eyes.” He pointed to Draco, lying in a patch of sunlight on the deck. “I think we need to use this somehow.”

“A way to scout the city?” one of the sailors, Jiro, suggested. The others murmured in agreement.

“Great idea, but how are we going to get Draco into Suilthair?” Jackie asked. “Can he just... find his way?”

“It is easy for small animals like cats and rats to get on ships without knowing,” Vsevna said. “I’m sure Draco could get onto the ferry easily enough.”

“Once he is in there, what are we going to look for?” Henrik asked. “Obviously we must find Chase and Jameson. But it is a big city, how will we know where to look? I do not think a cat could cover all of its ground in a single day.”

Marvin nodded slowly. “It doesn’t cost too much of my magic to look through his eyes. But if I keep it up consistently, that constant drain could stack up. But if you’re worried about leaving Draco alone in the city, I’m sure he’ll be fine. Familiars aren’t normal animals. I’m sure the only danger to him would be other familiars.”

“Even so... we cannot have you focusing on that all the time,” Henrik said. “You must rest sometimes.”

“What if we send Draco on one of the morning ferries, have him look around all day, and then come back on an evening ferry?” a sailor named Anya suggested. “That way Marvin could get some rest at night.”

Marvin nodded again. “I’m capable of that. But say that Draco finds Chase or Jameson. What then?”

“We have to have some way of communicating with them,” Jackie muttered. “Attach a note to his collar?”

“We don’t want any of the warriors reading it, though,” a sailor named Catherine points out. “D’you think we could write it in code?”

“I do not think that would work,” Henrik muttered. “Chase struggles with reading even now, and Jameson does not know any of our codes. They could both make mistakes.”

“Is there some magic that could work?” Jackie looked at Marvin specifically as he asked that.

“Wizards have ways of talking with each other over long distances, but it requires that all parties are wizards,” Marvin said. “I’m sure there’s some witchcraft that could work, though. I think I remember hearing about people in Drakild, that kingdom across the sea, using... stones, or something?”

“Message rocks,” Vsevna said. “I have also heard of them. I think I remember some of the runes you need for them.”

“Huh. Alright, Vsevna, you and me talk about this, maybe we can figure out the runes between us,” Marvin said. “And Henrik, you too. You’re familiar with witchcraft, you should be able to tell us if something makes sense or not.”

“That could work,” Henrik muttered. “We attach a message rock to Draco’s collar, and if he finds Chase and Jameson, they can use it. But... what if he does not find them? What if something has happened? Such as... I-I do not want to say it, but such as the King getting to them—”

“Shut up.”

Henrik flinched, avoiding the urge to look over his shoulder at the voice. He knew no one was standing behind him. He knew that. But... what if... what if there was someone on the shore? Someone listening in on their conversation?

Jackie put a hand on Henrik’s shoulder, steadying him. “Deep breaths,” he whispered. Henrik nodded. “You good?” Another nod. “Okay.” Jackie turned to face the group at large. “If the King’s got Chase and Jameson, we’ll have to make a plan to get them out. And that plan will depend a lot on whatever information we can gather. Such as where they’re being kept and what the defenses of that place is. Right now, we’re just in the initial planning and scouting phase. If it turns out they’re in hiding, we then have to plan on a way to get them out of the city, ideally without confrontation.”

The group all muttered in agreement. “We should get started as soon as possible,” Vsevna said. “Hopefully we can get these message rocks done in time to get Draco onto the evening ferry.”

They did, though just barely in time. By combining Vsevna and Marvin’s knowledge they’d heard about these message rocks with Henrik’s practical knowledge about witchcraft, they were able to create two talismans out of smooth, white pebbles with runes on them. Some of the sailors fashioned a small leather pouch for one of the rocks and attached it to Draco’s collar. He didn’t seem too happy about it at first, but he tolerated it.

Then the boat docked on the shore of the Green Lake. Marvin dropped Draco off on the land, giving him magical instructions to get onto the ferry and into the city, then activated the spell to see through his eyes, sitting down on the deck while he did so.

As Vsevna had said, it was easy enough for Draco to get onto the evening ferry. He hopped aboard at the last moment, and none of the crew or passengers had the heart to kick him off into the lake. And so, he got a free ride into Suilthair.

Marvin tried to think about where Chase and Jameson would be, if they were indeed in hiding and not captured. They wouldn’t be foolish enough to get an inn. And they probably wouldn’t want to be too close to the castle. “The neighborhoods, Draco,” he muttered, clutching his focus in his hand. Though his eyes and ears were seeing and hearing what his cat was, he could still feel his body sitting on the deck where he left it, and he could feel his amulet warming with magic. “Focus on checking out the neighborhoods.”

He knew he could keep up this spell all night. But he did hope that he wouldn’t have to keep it up for multiple nights in a row.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For once, when Chase woke up in the draísling, he wasn't in the garden he’s used to. It really threw him off for a second, and he wondered if this is a normal dream. But just thinking that question proved his point. He wasn’t this aware in normal dreams. So he looked around the location, trying to assess things. This was a hallway. A regal-looking hallway. It must have been one in the castle, but it looks different. Newer, somehow, the stone brighter and the tapestries fewer, but less worn. He tried getting a good look at them, but their images seemed to shift. The hallway ended in a pair of grand wooden doors, looking too heavy for a single person to open. It’s lucky that they were already open, then. And in front of them stood the deer.

Chase tried to ask what happened, why things had changed. But his voice wouldn’t work. Even so, the deer dipped its head, like it knew what he was asking. It turned around, facing the open doors, lowering its head and pointing forward with those golden antlers. Chase understood. He walked forward, past the deer, and into the room beyond.

He’d never seen this room before, but he knew what it was the moment he walked in. The castle’s throne room. Tall stone pillars lined the way down the long room, and a green carpet guided people towards the dais at the end of the room. Candles in sconces dotted every surface, making up for the lack of windows. The throne room didn’t have windows? That made sense, you wouldn’t want an assassin to shoot an arrow through a window, but still, even with all the candles lighting things up, the room looked... smaller than he expected. Windows would have helped.

At the end of the room was a dais shaped like a half-circle, with two steps leading up to it, covered in that green carpet. On the dais was a throne. It wasn’t gilt in gold or silver like thrones in stories. It was made of wood. But that didn’t mean it was any less grand. The whole thing somehow seemed to swirl, the wood carved into a willowy shape. Green velvet cushioned the seats, arms, and back. At the very top of the throne were three embedded jewels—two green with a blue one in between them—teardrop shaped with the points at the bottom, forming an overall shape like a budding flower.

A man was sitting on the throne. Jack. Chase recognized him, and tried not to shudder upon seeing the King’s face. Jack looked the same as he had for that brief moment in the last dream when Chase had seen him. Fine clothes that were now torn and bloodstained, chains wrapping around him. A manacle around each wrist connected to the throne’s armrests, and a thin metal collar around his neck connected him to the back of the throne. He was sitting slumped in the throne, but as Chase got closer, he raised his head. His blue eyes widened, shocked. “Y-you... came back...?” he whispered.

Chase walked up, stopping at the bottom of the dais. “Y-yea, of course I did,” he said. “I don’t really control the dreams.”

“You didn’t have to come into the room, though. You could’ve waited outside.”

“...I wouldn’t do that,” Chase said. He looked around the room again. “So... this is different.”

Jack laughed. “Yes. The nightmares change every so often. Just when I start getting used to it. I’m guessing it was deliberate this time, though. After all, you broke me out. I couldn’t be allowed to stay out.”

“...the spirit does this, doesn’t it?” Chase asked.

Jack blinked, surprised. “You... figured it out?”

“I did.” Chase nodded. “We found proof that the King’s eyes were blue as a child, but they’re green now. That’s not normal. Something has to cause that. And you’ve said you were imprisoned by the King. Well... I can’t think of a worse prison than being trapped in your own body.”

Jack slumped again, looking almost relieved. “I thought... you wouldn’t believe me if I told you...” he breathed.

“Maybe not,” Chase said. “But then... what would be the point of me having these dreams? I’m pretty sure that—Oh, I shouldn’t say too much, should I?” He glanced around.

“Probably not,” Jack said. “The spirit hears everything.”

“Well... I’ll say that I’m pretty sure something is giving me these dreams,” Chase said. “And if this was... a trap of some sort, and you were actually lying to me this whole time, what would be the point of that? Do you understand?”

Jack nodded. “I do.” He took a deep breath and adjusted his hands in his lap, the motion accompanied by the sound of clinking metal. “So. Y-you know the truth now. I’m... My name is Aodhán Jack Willeim mak Lough, King of Glasúil. I-it’s a mouthful, honestly, I know. I prefer to just go by Jack. My friends called me that.”

Chase walked up the steps onto the dais. He wanted to be level with Jack... but found that impossible. While on the floor, he was too far down, and while on the dais, he was too far up, and Jack couldn’t stand so they could look each other in the eyes. This fact made him distinctly uncomfortable. So he knelt down on the dais. He was still a bit shorter when that happened, but it was the closest their eyes could be. “How did this... Y-you weren’t always possessed,” Chase said. “When did the spirit show up? Did you... somehow attract its attention?”

Jack sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t think so. I think, perhaps, it was just looking for the right person. And I was perfect.”

“How long has this been going on?” Chase asked.

“...Seven years or so,” Jack said quietly.

“That long?!” Chase cried.

“I only had one year as King before it fully took over,” Jack said. “You know, I always thought it was suspicious. Both of my parents getting sick with some mystery illness, and no one else in the castle being infected no matter how close in contact they were with the King and Queen? I thought someone had killed them. Poisoned them, maybe, with something that worked quickly but not too quickly. And I knew I would be the first suspect. That people who didn’t know me would think I...” He swallowed a lump in his throat.

“I don’t... remember any suspicion about your parents’ deaths,” Chase said slowly. “Or your rise to the throne.”

“It was there. Either it was only the nobles who thought it, or the spirit used my power to make everyone forget about that once it took over.”—

“So... the spirit killed the old King and Queen,” Chase whispered.

Jack nodded.

“I didn’t know possessive spirits could do that.”

Jack laughed darkly. “I don’t think this is just any old spiolash that wanders the countryside. He’s... very powerful.”

“Seems so,” Chase muttered. “What... what happened after their deaths? If you’re okay with talking about that?”

“It’s fine, I’ve had enough time to think about it,” Jack said. “Things went... I won’t say things went well, but they were... normal. Being the King was difficult, especially when some of my advisors thought I’d poisoned my parents, but things proceeded how you’d expect them to. Until... I started seeing things.”

“...Things?” Chase asked hesitantly.

“In the dark, usually,” Jack said in a hushed voice. “When I was trying to sleep. A figure in the shadows. I thought it was just sleep freezing—have you heard of that? When you wake up and can’t move and sometimes see fucking terrifying things? I thought it was that. Until I started seeing these shadowy figures during the day, too.”

“Did you think it was a false world curse?” Chase asked.

“I considered it. I got desperate enough to consult with a doctor about it—which did not help my reputation when people found out. But they said I didn’t have any of the other symptoms, so it might’ve been something else.” Jack shook his head. “I couldn’t sleep. When I did, I sometimes woke up in strange places. My nose started to bleed, rarely at first, then as often as once every week. My eyes bled occasionally, too. I tried talking to wizards about it. Maybe this was some sort of curse. But... when I tried to ask, my voice froze up. I couldn’t even imply it subtly. A-and eventually, I wasn’t able to even walk towards a wizard to talk with them. My legs wouldn’t work.”

“That was the spirit stopping you.” Chase meant it as a question, but it didn’t come out as one. Probably because he knew the answer.

“Yes,” Jack whispered. “I-it got worse and worse. I started having nightmares. I started walking in different directions than I meant and it’d be a chore to correct myself. Said... unkind things to people. Couldn’t apologize. Started using my powers in ways I never wanted to. I-I promised I’d never control people. Th-there was an incident when I was little where I would make all the kids around me happy... it creeped me out. And afterwards, when the kids remembered, they wouldn’t talk to me. So, ever since then, I-I promised I wouldn’t do it, even if I thought it’d be good. But... I was... against my will, I was... making people think things. And making them forget things.” He shuddered. “One night, I had a terrible dream. A man with green eyes was chasing me through a dead forest, and he caught me, and pushed me into this little opening at the base of an oak tree and shoveled dirt in front, trapping me. Then, when I woke up, I couldn’t move. My body was doing things without me. I couldn’t... do anything. And ever since then... this has been my life.”—

Chase was quiet. He didn’t know what to say to that. What could ever be good enough for that? Words didn’t seem enough. So he leaned forward and wrapped Jack in a tight hug. He felt him tense for a moment before he absolutely melted into it. “We’re going to get you out of here,” he said. “I swear it, we will find a way to banish this spirit. You will be free again.”

Jack’s breath hitched. “That’d be nice,” he said, his voice thick as he tried not to cry.

“I swear it,” Chase repeated. “I swear it thrice.”

“O-oh. You’re... that serious about it?”

“Of course I am. I can’t leave you to suffer like this.” Chase leaned back. “Not to mention, it’ll really help the kingdom if it wasn’t being headed by an evil spirit.”

Jack laughed. “It would. I was so worried about being a good King once I was coronated, but now that I’ve seen fucking this, I know I won’t be the worst one out there.”

“Not by a stone’s throw.” Chase shook his head. “Maybe I’ll see you in these dreams again. I hope I do.”

“I hope I see you again, too,” Jack whispered. “I hope that the next time you see me, you’re able to see... me. And not that spirit.”

Chase nodded. “I’ll do everything I can.”

“Thank you.” Tears welled in Jack’s eyes. “Thank you so much.”

And then the draísling faded away and Chase woke up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jameson was finding more and more that he hated keeping watch at night. It was boring. So, so, so, so boring. He didn’t have anything to read—not that there was enough light to read even if he did—and no one was awake to play games with or talk to. And since they were trying not to attract attention, he couldn’t very well get up and wander around. So he was left just sitting there. In the dark. His mind tended to drift off, getting lost in his own thoughts.

But he forced himself back to the present. He had to check regularly if there was anyone nearby. He inched over to the door and eased it open, peering out. No, nobody in sight. It was getting close to early morning now, and people would already be getting up and going to work elsewhere in the city, but not here.

And then he saw it. Something moving. Small, and pale against the darkness of the city. He stiffened, leaning forward. Oh. That was a stray cat. But... there were no stray animals in Suilthair. At least not out in the floating neighborhoods. They were liable to fall off the wooden walkways. And yet...

Jameson glanced back at Chase, still sleeping. Then he got up and slowly, anxiously, walked out the door. He crept closer to the cat, glancing around nervously as he did so. It heard him eventually, and stopped, turning to look at him. He stared at it, not wanting to scare it away.

But he didn’t have to worry about that. The cat turned and pranced straight towards him. And suddenly, he recognized it. Jameson gasped and hurried forward. Yes! Yes! It’s Draco! Relieved, he crouched down to the ground and held his hand out for Draco to sniff. Draco did. And once it was clear he wasn’t going anywhere, Jameson hurriedly scooped him up and went back to the boathouse.

Draco wriggled out of his arms soon after he walked back in, landing on the wooden planks with a solid thump. Jameson went over to Chase and shook him until he woke.

Chase opened his eyes, momentarily confused, then looked back at Jameson. He took in the darkness of the boathouse—barely enough to see by—and sat up straight. “Did they find us?!” he whispered.

Jameson shook his head. He pointed back towards Draco.

Chase blinked. “...elders,” he breathed. Then he laughed. “Oh, thank the Elders. H-he found us! Marvin has to be nearby, right?” He crawled a bit closer, petting Draco’s head. “Huh. Did you notice this?” He pointed out a small leather pouch attached to Draco’s collar.

Jameson shook his head. Open it, maybe there’s something inside. A message, even.

“Okay. Hold still, kitty.” Chase reached forward and carefully took out what was in the pouch. “It’s a stone. With... runes on it.”

A talisman? Jameson asked.

“Must be.”

And then, suddenly, a voice came from the rock. “Chase? Jair? Is that really you?!”

“Whoa!” Chase fumbled with the rock and almost dropped it before recovering his grip. “Marvin?”

“It’s me!” Marvin’s voice said, and laughed. “I-it’s so good to see you! I’m watching you through Draco’s eyes right now.”

The rock? Jameson asked.

“Some witchcraft Vsevna suggested. You have to hold it in your hand and speak directly into it. It’s so good to see you two. It really is. I-I didn’t mean to leave, but—well it’s a bit complicated. I can tell you all about it later. Right now, I have to let you know that a whole squad of us have come here to find you.”

“A whole squad?” Chase gasped. “Who?”

“Me, Jackie, Schneep, and Vsevna and some of his crew. Oh, I realize neither of you have met Vsevna and his crew. But they’re very reliable.”

“O-okay,” Chase nodded. “What about Wyvernlair? Did they get our warning?”

“They did,” Marvin confirmed. “But there was still a bit of a scuffle. I’m not sure... I’m not sure how many people were lost. B-but most of them are fine. There’s a new camp. I-I don’t think I should tell you about it, just in case.”

That’s reasonable, Jameson said.

“Are you guys coming to get us out?” Chase asked. “We’re—we’ve been stuck in here. Jameson was caught by the King, I-I got him out of there, but—but we’ve been hiding, and there are no ways out of the city that we can find—”

“It’ll be alright, Chase, I promise,” Marvin interrupted. “Jair? Did you... really get...?”

Jameson nodded.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Marvin said quietly. “L-look, I should probably go, get everyone else awake so we can talk about things together. Keep a hold of the rock. And Draco, though I’m sure he can look after himself.” Draco curled up on the floor as he said that, looking about ready to go to sleep.

“That’s fine,” Chase said. “Um, how long will that take? To gather everyone up?”

“I don’t know, probably not that long. There’s not that many of us. I’m going now.”

“No, wait, one thing we need to tell you!” Chase hurried to add. “Before anything else. W-we learned something big about the King.”

Jameson looked at Chase. Are you sure it’s a good idea to share this? What if this is a trick?

“The King already knows we know this, so he won’t be gaining anything if it’s a trick,” Chase said.

“What is it?” Marvin asked.

“The King isn’t really the King,” Chase said. “He’s being possessed. That voice, that person in my dreams, that’s the real King. His body is being controlled by a spirit.”

Silence. “...if that’s true...” Marvin whispered. “Holy flame, I... I’m not sure how to... W-we’ll be back soon, alright?”

Chase nodded. “Alright. We’ll be waiting.”

“Thank you.”

And though Chase and Jameson stayed quiet, no more words came from the rock. Chase looked at Jameson. “Do you really think it’s a trick?” he asked.

I hope not, Jameson said.

“Yea. I hope not, too.”

For the first time in days, they had a direction. And Chase, after the draísling he just had, felt that he had a purpose, as well. Or a more solid purpose than he did before. He was going to help his family, and the whole kingdom, and Jack. It was a tall order, but he would do it. He could do it.

For the first time in a long time, he felt hopeful about the future.