#he's singing this to karkat

[chradorya]

That one ship/art trend but with davekat

[chrisrin]

🎶 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘴 🎶

[its-solars-system]

DAVEKAT WEEK DAY 2: ART

He only sings if Dave agrees to stay outside

[sunnixsunshine]

Can you trollify a troll? Let’s find out…

[spiralingguitarist]

TEREZI: H1S T1M3 ON TH3 M3T3OR D1D...SOM3TH1NG... TO H1M.

[aroacedavestrider]

Worried for you every time I see your system bitchcount go up. Get well soon yall

hrk well…! hiya im yoi!! (yoimiya genshin) and im answering this one cause im the most recent split hehe. honestly its kinda like….. i dunno were just trying to cope with stuff i guess! i split back toward the end of our fall semester when shit suddenly got really bad after a really good period, (im talking grade dropped from an 85% to a 59%!!! yikes) and, well…….im naturally a cheery person! so i think thats just kinda what we needed during a time of extreme stress and disappointment and i know i am sure happy to provide!!

last time someone split before me was shoby (shinobu genshin) and that was back in may when we were finally kicking our really cringe ex to the curb anddddd we needed a strong assertive force to do it! and shobys been really good at actually getting us in the mindset to sit down and do important tasks ever since. :)

so yeah it does suck that a lot of the time we come about cause something huge happens and were like “uh oh, how do we cope with this?” but i think were here for the better and were all like a little family! im happy to be here and im happy to introduce myself to daves friends on tumblr dot com!! and thank you for your concern too, were doing better ^^

🎇 yoi 🎆

[ariose-ghoul]

dunno if it's just the way it sounds on cassette but in donkey riding, the "here comes dad with ten weeks pay" just scratches my brain so fuckin good

[dirksawesomesprites]

editing / fixing sprites + my headcanons

Part 1: Beta Lowbloods

Aradia Megdio

without bag

with bag

dead

she uses she/they and is demigirl and bisexual. her horns are covered in a layer of dust from scavaging for fossils and living in an underground hive. she wears a messanger bag that she uses to keep all of her fossile hunting materials and other things. she uses the fossils to decorate her hive and shes goth (original i know). her matesprit is sollux and her moirail is feferi.

Tavros Nitram

he uses he/him and is a cis guy (just is slightly feminine) he is mlm/gay. he loves fairycore and his favourite dog breed is a golden retriver (speficially the human version dave showed him, not alternian.) his robot legs will occasionslly malfcution, causing them to either get locked in place, squeak loudly, or get sticky joints. dave constantly has to call dirk over to fix his legs. his matesprit is dave, moirail is gamzee, and he has a black crush on gamzee (not very "black" though, mostly a "i can fix him" mentality but it ends up being "i can fix him but itll make me worse in the prossess) type stuff. its a pale leaning black thing.

Sollux Captor

he uses they/he/she and is bisexual and bigender (original i know but its kinda funny concidering my headmate with a sollux source is bisexual and bigender so im stealing that). hes emo and has a johnnie guilbert shrine in his hive he swears is ironic. he is colour blind (blue colour blindess specifically) so he sees voilet/purple as a ugly brown thats why he calls eridan ugly so much. he plays the synthesizer. hes double jointed and likes to gross his friends out with it. his shoes were orignially both white but he lost the second one but was too lazy to find it so he just wears the same brand shoe but different colours. theyre vans shoes. his matesprit is aradia , his moirail is dave , his kismesis is eridan , and his auspistice is karkat.

Karkat Vantas

he uses they/he, theyre nonbinary / transmasculine (has top scars and is technially transmasc but is also nonbinary i dont know if im saying this right) and is unlabeled for sexuality (they kiss guys but is unlabeled take with that what you will) they are punk even if they dont particualerly dress like it. their sweatpants are too big and their sweater is too small / tight so theyre a small gap of stomach showing. he purrs when happy, sleepy, or comfortable. when he gets scared their voice cracks and squeaks. when theyre alone listening to music in their hive hell jump around bouncing off stuff pretending to play the guitar and screaming / singing at the top of his lungs to the song. his matesprit is gamzee, his moirial is eridan, his kismesis is dave, and they aupistice for eridan and sollux.

Nepeta Lejion

she uses she/meow and is girlflux, catgender (original i know), grey romantic, and asexual. when she paints on her shipping wall she tends to get paint all over her and it has since stained her jacket. she has had her hat since she was very little and its very streched out and worn. same with her tail as its not part of her, it drags on the ground behind her and gets dirt, sticks and leaves caught in it most of the time. she likes to play the xylophone, read warrior cats, and play animal jam with equius. she purrs when she his happy / sleepy / comfy like karkat. her matesprit is feferi and her moirail is equius.

[knife-moth-mc]

a non-comprehensive but pretty long list of specific things about the baby is you that i think are good or make it good art in some way

The specificity of “what the fuck are you doing on the ground writhing in pain”. I feel like a more normal thing to say would be something like “Are you okay???” It’s very This Gun That I Have In My Right Hand Is Loaded

The layered voices when dave denies being pregnant

The fact that john’s immediate next question after “who’s the father?’ is “who’s the baby?” as if that’s in any way a question that makes sense

Woooooo….. police sirens police sirens…… wooooooo……

John meowing fully unprompted

The extremely Homestuck-specific euphemisms throughout

“I’m not even born yet, that’s not fair!”

Karkat showing up out of absolutely nowhere

Karkat voice “I must be the…. mmmmmidwife.”

Karkat immediately interrupting the unfolding baby situation to sing a little song about his hatecrush on john

Rose’s VA’s ooc lines just kind of thrown in there at what initially seems like random but if you pay attention it makes a certain kind of rhythmic sense

The reveal that rose is pregnant being followed by a betrayed “Rose!” said by both dave and rose

“Suck that bitch’s dick!” “I’m going to—That’s not what I’m doing! That’s the opposite of what I’m doing!”

Hearts. And minds. And souls. And hearts.

The genuinely catchy sung section of the rose rap

The slant rhyme of serengeti with spaghetti

Dave basically turning to the camera to say “incest is bad” before immediately proposing to his sister

The pathos of rose’s confession that she lied about being pregnant, followed by dave’s extremely flat, emotionless reassurance

“Being pregnant might be against the rules of the MSPA forum but shipping us together is not, for some reason”

Bro showing up to provide a new conflict now that all the rose stuff is resolved

The conflict being specifically that he wants to eat babies

“He’s never tried to eat my babies before” implying that there were previous babies

Bro’s forbidden technique being just “words that rhyme with themselves” and then him almost instantly fucking it up

“Actually, a fight sequence was entirely unnecessary, so it was deleted, and what happens is that in the end, it turns out Bro was a robot, I mean… it was just complex, given the fact that this is a normally simple story about, you know, like a thirteen year old boy giving birth to his bre—best friend. It didn’t fit the archetypes, so I’m going to move on to the next song, and you can just… chillax a little bit.”

KC Green (the guy who made This Is Fine and I Guess and a bunch of other well-known images used as memes) being there completely unexplained to lead a sing-along. Like it makes sense historically but in the album itself it just kinda happens

Andrew hussie being directly addressed by name just to really drill in the fact that this is pointed commentary

The very confident implication that babies are a different species entirely

compiled because @420technoblazeit doesn't know how to appreciate this masterpiece

[kat-of-seventy-seven-roses]

Homestuck Mythical Creature au / Cryptid Au

Very tempted to make an ask blop :p need to see if anyones inch rested

thought processes under the cut (bc some choices are wild)

Johns a pooka, an irish fae trickster who shapeshifts into animals. his favorite form is the bunny. john and jane are both fae, so their pranks range from harmless to mentally scaring to life altering. absolute chaos grimlins. dirk is also an irish myth, so he knows them well and is often trying to get them to not ruin the local population of humans. so they do pranks on him insted. john loves to steal dirks head and hide it places.

rose speaks to the eldritch horrors and is slowly becoming one herself. she wants to become a litch.

Dave is a harpy! a very chill one who doesn't tend to sing with his full chest, so people dont start crashing into his doorstep. dave dies in some magic accident that caused davesprite to rise up from the ashes. but dave harpy is ALSO fine no ones really sure how. may have been roses doing.

Jade is a werewolf obv. but shes also a witch and has formed a coven with rose and roxy.

Jane is ur avrage fae faerie/sprite. her favorite fae rule to get people to break is "dont eat their food."

Roxy is both a cat who is also a wizard i need not elaborate

Dirk is a headless horseman. not to be confused with THE headless horse man. thats another dullhan with a well paying halloween gig. dirk is often subject to losing his head, so he made a magic pumpkin to pilot the body when this happens. he does have a very large and scary but beautiful horse.

Jake is the bigfoot. and one of the most well hunted (and well travled) cryptids. thus, his friends often make jokes of not ever seeing him except in blurry images. its not his fault hes very large and loves to travel! and is also not very photogenic...

Aradia is a monthra!!! however she made a deal with a devil and became a ghost... not sure WHY yet or why it kills her. but it does. its all in her plan or smth, but that doesnt stop sollux from being very upset that hes the one that has to take and keep her soul. she is reserected later by the coven, still soulless but it doesnt matter bc her soul is in good hands and thus she still feels it. shes much happier now.

Tavros is a minotar self explanatory he is a small minotar, tho. a mini minotar if u will.

Sollux is ur run of the mill soul for potato chip demon. an excuse to give him twin tails and horns. him an kitkat gave me the most trouble! but then i went with a solkat devil angel motifi and im kinda attached t9 it now. even if its sorta a cop out. i simply couldnt find twin creatures that werent gods or children of gods. nor any crab creatures...

Karkat is an angel. he WAS human notably he was human for awhile even good friends with kanaya before he died. he never found love but helped so many with theres that he became an angel that was a lot like cupid. thus he was a small angel incharge of match making and also likened to a baby and hes very much NOT happy about this. it pisses him off, solluxs often gives him a hard time. about it. (extra angst is that kitkats also really fucked up about never knowing what love felt like but having to give it to others. and he has it in his head that that means he never will know, bc no ones matchmaking the matchmaker. but theres a song he hears everyonece anwhile by a stray harpy that makes him feel a lot lighter.)

Nepeta is my go to cat creature a nekomata. a two tailed cat yokai.

Kanaya is a vampire. obviously.

Terezi is a dragon! still blind! still licks. but can now transform and has wings, very scary. shes basiclly just her lusus lmao.

Vriska is a spider lady. i have arachne here bc its similar, but shes not arachne the myth proper. shes just a spider with the top part of a woman at the head. A Jorogumo a spider lady yokai and is basically actually what im picturing.

Equius is a centar and fuck if i ever have to draw him....

Gamzee is a clowwwn, just a clown, just a silly lil guy. What do you MEAN clowns arnt mythical creatures??? what do u mean u saw him under ur bed when you were a child? u must be mistaken. as a nod to ICPs boogieman. when gamzee is not high as a kite and is just a clown, he is one of the most terrifying and unkillable creatures known to children kind.

Eridan is a selkie. basiclly a mermaid but part seal. personally, I'd like to make him part seahorse. but not in the hippocampus way. i chose this bc he can shapeshift, thus he pretends to be a high elf sorcerer, yes he does get dunked on about this.

And finally, Feferi is a siren! who happens to be able to become very VERY **VERY** BIG. she doesnt lure people to drown them but she DOES love to keep live captives in cages :)

[badlydrawndavekat]

damn wait- that’s already been asked- hollup-

Karkat what do you think about Dave’s rapping skills? And Dave, can Karkat sing?

CG: SURPRISINGLY, HE'S NOT ACTUALLY HORRIBLE AT IT! CG: BUT I THINK CALLING IT 'SKILLS' IS A STRETCH. CG: SPITTING BARS AT ME ABOUT RYAN REYNOLDS FOR AN HOUR IS DEFINITELY NOT A SKILL.

TG: you already know the answer CG: WE CAN'T JUST LET THINGS BE DEAD, CAN WE?

[cyber-corp]

An actual summary of Homestuck Act 6's intermissions

by someone who’s a page away from Collide

Let’s do this lightning-round style.

After breaking through the fourth wall on the ship and getting the Gift of Gab (lol), John and Jade prepare for a three-year-long voyage to meet up with the gang, with Davesprite, Nannasprite, and a variety of other faces in tow. They write a letter for the crew.

The Monarch (previously the Mendicant) and the firefly buddy (I've forgotten their name) plead for the Vagabond's life. She takes him to the trolls and kid's rendezvous spot.

The trolls finally meet up with Dave and Rose, who have indeed reached God Tier. Half-dead Sollux and GT Aradia show up as well. They plan to host a "funeral" for Sollux, who is just sort of watching in disgust.

After Karkat's bucket-human-troll-sloppy-fueled breakdown from John's letter, the Vagabond, and the firefly show up, and the gang sets off through the Furthest Ring.

Intermission 2

Hussie, who was taking care of Spades Slick after he fucking killed the world by shooting Snowman, is shot dead by Lord English. I'm sure he'll show up later though. They always do.

It's been about a year in between the intermissions. While Rose explains what the Scratch did, Karkat attempts to explain the troll love quadrants to Dave. They draw dicks, fight, Dave wins by a mile through the suplex

Meanwhile, John, Jade and friends play the Ghostbusters II MMORPG, which is hilarious that that is even a thing in the first place. Jaspersprite sings a birthday song for him, Jade gets dogmad, which causes John to black out.

After getting harrassed by an eepy Roxy, John encounters Meenah (the best character!!!!!) for the first time. He takes a trident from her and wakes back up.

In a dream bubble, Terezi meets Aranea (second best character!!!!), who offers her to heal her sight. In another dream bubble, Hussie proposes to Vriska with a ring. Because of course he does.

Intermission 3 (and some other stuff)

Aranea invites Jake to Meenah's dream bubble, where she finds quite a lot of fighting happening. After telling a story of the Condensce, Jake embarrasses himself by attempting to wallop Meenah. He wakes up after getting whacked, but Brain Ghost Dirk sticks around.

After a "quick" game of Meenah Quest, we get a glimpse of what John and Jade are up to; watching Con Air baybee!!!! Except John has a big freakout over hating the movie, hating Davesprite, and passes out. What a guy.

PM and Noir are locked in chase before they enter a bubble of Jack's own massacre of the Battlefield, before John awakens and fights him. Rose shows up for a brief second and John uses his cool-ass windy powers as well.

After the battle, John wanders into a desert, finds a ring, and finds Tavros (wHO DESPERATELY WANTS THE RING,) and Vriska. She shares her plan to find a treasure that'll defeat Lord English.

After another game of Meenah Quest (where she unsuccessfully gets no one on her team), we go back to the meteor, where Rose drinks and forgets her date with Kanaya (best couple. fight me) and then falls down the stairs. They warned her, dog.

John wakes up with the ring, soyjaks, and the intermission ends.

Intermission 5 (CALIBORN TOOK uP THE LAST SPOT)

Dave and Karkat intervene Terezi, who is a massive wreck because of her degrading romance with Gamzee and letting Aranea heal her eyesight.

John, Vriska, Aranea, Meenah and Aradia find a big green cave in a dream bubble, where they also find a juju. It's the Homestuck House! John sticks his hand in it, his arm appears throughout multiple points in the comic, and then voops out of reality completely. He has an INTENSE STAREDOWN with Caliborn and wakes up on LOMAX, Jake's planet.

I don't usually do this but

(skips many, many important bits and pieces)

Vriska comes back (thanks to John's time shenanigans), plans out everything to come and verbally abuses her ghost self, Dave and Dirk have a feelings jam, dead pre-retcon Terezi and Ghost Vriska rejoice in facing the end, and everybody just about gets ready to

Collide.

This has been by far one of the most bonkers pieces of fiction I have ever read, and nothing gets me more excited than to see all of it come together and wrap all of it up, I hope. Also Caliborn and Calliope are one of the best "Jekyll/Hyde" characters I've seen in a long while!

Whatever lies on the other side of that hyperlink, I sure hope it'll be good.

[cronenfag]

seriously just imagine it:

you're seeing broadway homestuck at a concert, everyone is having a great time, karkat seems a little excited. "we have a little surprise for you guys" karkat says. all of a sudden, nagito comes out and starts singing "fingers in his ass". when he gets to the chorus, someone else starts singing...

"hello everybody- let me tell you about homestuck" lights flash everywhere, and you see sans singing "fingers in his ass" along with nagito, while vriska is singing "you can't fight the homestuck". everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. then if things couldn't get any better, rose and kanaya walk onto stage and kiss, holding the gay flag.

[davekat-sucks]

Okay! Hi! So I have something fun to say! I read the anon talking about Karkat being headcanoned as ace. It made me remember the person who runs this blog saying Dave is uncomfortable with sex. I have a narrative reason as to why Dave would be uncomfortable with sex. Two actually! I decided to reread a certain chapter and I realized something. It’s big! The biggest scoop this fandom has ever had!

I think you guys would love it! The fandom is going to have a rude awakening someday. You guys are going to be SO HAPPY! Let’s watch this thing burn down together and hold hands singing Kumbaya My Lord Kumbaya! Fuck I’ll bring stuff to make s’mores!

This me going off about the homestuck epilogue DaveKat scene again and there is some brutal topics covered in here, you’ve been warned. I imagine Dirk was in control of the some of the narrative when Karkat and Dave had sex. I think Dirk had a lot of control over what happened but not all of it. Free will is still a thing. Here is Dirk saying as much! He says he likes using persuasion!

Did you guys catch a certain part of this when reading it? The non stop animalistic fucking part I mean. That’s weird to say about your family. Moving on.

Dave and Karkat don’t really admit that they like each other romantically… seems like they don’t want to. Right that’s what the fandom must have picked up on. It’s hard for them to date because of the Ace/Aro thing. Or. They DONT. They don’t want to date. They never did. They’re forced to. In meat, it looks like Dirk just wants Dave to top this guy.

Here. Read what Karkat says.

Then Karkat says “I’m glad you’re my friend.” “I don’t have to wonder what is missing!” Karkat doesn’t have to wonder what is missing! We’ve got everything we need here! But wait! they’re not just friends! They are… best… friends? Karkat sounds unsure of what to even say here? He sounds like he doesn’t know where this is going. What he’s even being pushed to say. He said what he meant already. Dave is the one asking him if they are more than friends.

Look. If someone with the powers of a god is compelling them to talk about their feelings and this is the most Karkat can say, it means there is NOTHING ELSE THERE. Dirk is losing his shit here.

Here’s an excuse! “Maybe relationships isn’t a thing Karkat does!” Hold on to that thought Dave! If it makes you feel better about having animalistic sex with a guy! I’ll come up with anything to make you think that.

“HE WANTS IT! YOU WANT IT!” Karkat wants it! You want it too, Dave!

It’s nothing to worry about Dave! You two can do it right here on the couch if you want! Please want that! I mean he loves you so much! See you two are so so so close! He’s going to bust it open for you! Dave he wants it! Dirk wants it. He is excited at the idea of it. Karkat doesn’t seem to care and diving into Karkat’s head to convince him he loves Dave isn’t Dirk’s goal. Karkat falling in love has nothing to do with anything. Why would Dirk even care? Dirk only cares about Dave having sex here. Dirk isn’t really influencing Karkat either, he doesn’t get into his head at all.

I don’t know how much Dave wants Karkat. I’m not able to really discern that. Though I wouldn’t count this as a confession. Dave is drunk! Or at least tipsy. He has someone else chatting in his head. He can even hear hear what Dirk is saying.

Dirk is saying all sorts of things in Dave’s head. Dave is stressed to the point of sweating. What was Dirk going to say before he was cut off? A threat? It sounded like a threat. Is it supposed to be encouraging!? Either is fucked!

The let me do this myself bit reads more like an act of defiance. Let me see if this is right or not, Dirk! Though if you’re under the influence and someone has been fucking with your mind to fill it with what they want for you, do you think that isn’t ABUSE?! Brainwashing? Do you think Dave is being lead to believe Karkat actually wants to date him? I think all of those things are true here.

It all reads like Dave and Karkat are forced together. Like that’s even what the writers are trying to fucking say. It reads like they are spitting on the couple and using them as a narrative tool. Someday in the future they have to address Dirk and Dave’s relationship.

When I read this line it conformed for me something I was certain of before and I’m certain that is what is being said here. I think there is a clear reason as to why it was put into this chapter. What Dirk’s intentions are. Read it and see if you can catch what I’m going to point out.

There it is. This is what the epilogue is going with.

Born again virginity. Dave didn’t have his virginity before he died at 13. Why even bring up a line like that if meant nothing. If was a joke?

Why was Dave willing to pay Dirk respect for killing himself in Candy?

For that matter! Why is Dirk so into Dave topping some guy? Isn’t Dirk a bottom? Why is Dirk so into talking about his son and/or brother having animalistic sex with one of the few male characters left alive? Karkat is someone the fandom would have loved to see Dave end up with since they smiled at each other once in Act 6.

So. Here’s what I want to get at. The to long didn’t read version of what I wrote!

What’s the two narrative reasons Dave doesn’t want to have sex?

1. Dave doesn’t want to have sex with someone if Dirk is just going to come into his head and get off to it.

2. Dave isn’t comfortable with having sex because of unresolved trauma.

What was the scoop? The big scoop that would tear the fans apart?

Karkat and Dave aren’t in love. They never were. Karkat wanted to say he appreciated having someone who put so much faith in him. It meant something to him. He said he feels content with that. He doesn’t have to wonder what is missing.

Karkat is Dave’s best friend. They are close. I love that. I want them to have a normal relationship, but they don’t. And they can’t. Even the running for president plot line was introduced so we could have Dave backing Karkat and giving him support. But that, once again, may have just been the narrative fucking with them, setting them up to have a moment like this. This is the problem with meta fiction. How much of this is the characters? The writers? The gods overseeing them? They have Calliope and Dirk picking at these assassinated characters like vultures. Just like how Calliope had John and Terezi get with each other in his dad’s car. John might have liked her but he was dying in that moment. Narratively, that was setting Terezi up to want to bring him back to life. To think they could be lovers in some way, and maybe they can. I don’t know. How much of that was John being fucked with? This story is a horror story. No one here is happy. Nothing here is good. Nothing is clear.

The one thing I am sure of is that born again virgin line meant something. Dave was holding onto his new founded virginity. Maybe he didn’t even feel comfortable saying he liked men because that is like saying he might have in someway enjoyed what Bro did to him. Maybe he didn’t want to have sex because of a terrible experience he had. Maybe the writers of the new homestuck content will pivot, maybe they will undo all of what is being set up here. But why do that? They like the drama!

I can see them containing with this theme. Dave was molested before homestuck even started. That is what is being said here. Bro molested him. Dirk feels horrible for it. He wants Dave to be the one to decapitate him too, like it’s closure.

The true to long didn’t read is basically this: Dave and Karkat is only canon because it’s forced. The writers are even announcing it! Thanks for the years of us having to listen to people falsely celebrating DaveKat! Now we’re going to just sing our hymns and celebrate their destruction.

That actually makes sense. It is fucked up if all along that Ult Dirk and by extension Hussie, WhatPumpkin, James Roach, HICU, and the fanbase itself, are forcing the two without their consent and they can't escape it.

It was so obvious from the start and yet people accepted it for what it was. This kissing in the laundry scene now gives a different meaning now that these boys did not actually want this but are forced to anyway without their say.

[harpoonsnotspoons]

So. So it seems I've been getting into Be More Chill (which makes sense considering who I am and shit) and I've noticed that a lot of characters sorta line up with Homestuck people? So. I'm going to list those

Jeremy and Michael: Ok so it'd probably make the most sense to have Dave as Jeremy and John as Michael, I'll acknowledge that. But also...this is a Davekat account. And it still works with Karkat as Michael. He's just a little less madkat and a little more sadkat (Which tracks for him tbh). The Dave part though, I thought he'd work as like...pre-current Dave. When he's still learning "how to be a Strider" or whatever. I mean the entire musical is about being cool

Christine: Terezi. Need I say more?

Rich: DIRK. DIRK DIRK DIRK. The hair even sort of matches

Jake: Do I even have to fucking say anything

Jenna: Vriska. I don't remember shit about the other popular girls though so they just don't matter for this

With the logic of Dave as Jeremy that would make Bro Mr Heere which means he'd have to sing a song about pants and that's fucking hilarious to me

AND THE SQUIP. Wow. Gee. I wonder what cool epic awesome hot android guy would fit this role? (It's me guys. Hal lol)

Expect at least a little art of this

[kitkat-the-muffin]

For a while I rationalized the existence of the Homestuck Epilogues just cause I like Davekat and I just wanted to accept them being canon even if it also meant accepting tons and tons of character assassination and a terrible storyline

But honestly it’s time I take off the shipping goggles and acknowledge that all of the Epilogues is a mess, including my favorite ship content. They, like everyone else, are out of character and are making decisions that they’d never do

Roxy, who once threw a whole funeral for a cat, would never show disrespect at the death of one of her best friends

Jade would never prioritize invading other peoples relationships when she could be enjoying the company of her family and friends

John would never sit back and accept his fate, whether it be straight up dying or living a life of mundanity, if it meant he’d be miserable with it

Jake would never let people use him for their own gain (again), Dirk would never manipulate people (not after his character arc geez guys), Rose would never give up the chance to fix a problem herself, Kanaya would never leave her wife to suffer alone, Jane would never become the next Condesce, etc, etc.

And despite my rationalization of the Davekat scene through my shipping goggles, I have to admit that Dave would never jump headfirst into both a crush and relationship, especially when you account for his trauma. At the very least, he wouldn’t confess to having a crush without blabbering on about his anxieties first, likely coming out in the middle of a rant on accident (don’t deny it, you know he would) in the same way he accidentally calls Jane “John’s hot grandma.” He’d probably say something like “I’m going through a bisexual crisis, a bi-sis if you will- oh yeah I’m bi by the way, hahah bi-by like bye-bye which is what I should be doing before I embarrass myself further ok bye”

I can see him saying all that ^ more than I can see him downing a ton of alcohol and kissing his crush as if he was in some sort of romcom. Homestuck’s always been really good at deviating from tropes and making the characters feel more like real people, and real people don’t succumb to romcom scenarios. Karkat would smack the romcom out of Dave long before ever succumbing to his own romantic fantasies (It’s like, say you always wanted to be a fairy princess but once you actually turn into one you’re like “uhhh what this is so unrealistic and kind of uncomfortable...” Idk bad example). The point is that no one actually wants to be in a romcom, they just want some of those romantic events like singing songs and having deep emotional conversations, but not suddenly kissing each other after screaming at the fourth wall that’s for sure

Karkat is knowledgable enough in romcoms to know when he’s in one, and you know as hell he won’t give into a cheap narrative like that. Karkat’s never been one to let fate strangle him into submission, he wouldn’t have survived to 6 sweeps on Alternia if he had. Also, he has no interest in politics, not after the whole Gamzee thing anyway, and while I do think Karkat cares a lot for Dave and would want to make him happy, he surely wouldn’t do so by running for President. Karkat’s the kind of person who shows affection with little actions, like drawing with chalk or listening to music. You know, quality time

And I think it’s time that I woke up from my own romcom fantasy and realized that while I want these characters to have a happy ending, this just isn’t them in the first place

I’d like to hear some thoughts from non-davekat shippers on the subject. Nothing anti-davekat I mean, more like some opinions from people who are davekat-indifferent. How did this character development affect readers without red-tinted shipping goggles?