#he's so much better than me cause i would've started hitting people for real

[adventuringblind]

Wish Come True

Landoscar x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Lando and Oscar are there to reassure their favorite person that they matter

Dialouge prompt: "I wished for you."

Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks

Notes: This is part of my 1000 followers celebration. I'm still taking submissions for it!

Masterlist

It's normal for people to get anxious. It's normal for the human mind to overthink and delve into every possibility.

It is not normal, however, to analyze every reason why one's partners should leave them. In the world of Formula 1, everyone is looking and judging all the time. It's hard to escape. The people give her reasons to think about why she deserves such partners.

It's terrifying how in her head she is able to get. How fast she sinks into her thoughts. The cold floor of the bathroom is the last thing grounding her to the real world. Her hands rake through her hair as her chest labors for oxegyne.

Oscar and Lando. The two boys who stole her heart. With their stupidly fast cars and endearing gazes.

They found her, tucked away in a McLaren office. Her job not normally one that needs their input. The one time she did, they seemed to decide right then they weren't going to let her secluded herself in her office anymore.

They reassure her constantly. Lando with spurattic physical contact and Oscar with a never-ending supply of compliments. They tell her not to listen to the people. A task she fails at constantly.

They have their claws dug into her mind. They tug, and they pull her in direction she doesn't want to go. Which begs the question, is she cut out for this life? In reality, she really just might not have what it takes to date, not one, but two formula 1 drivers.

There is a soft and familiar knock at the door. She knows who it is. Qualifying ended hours ago. She's been closed up in the hotel room for longer.

"Love? Are you in there? Me and Osc are worried about you." Lando's concern breaches her ears, and she doesn't know what to do. It sends her spiraling further.

The door clicks open. Two sets of footsteps hit against the tile floor. There is a softens to their actions she can't fully explain. Like they know how to approach her with the intent of comfort and how to make it known via every movement.

Their bodies slide down the wall on either side of her. Their orange hoodies are a stark contrast to the white colored walls and tile. They smell freshly showered, and it hits her hard that they were probably together all afternoon.

They don't need her. It's a true fact that nobody should be one hundred percent reliant on another person. But the thoughts creep back into her skin that they don't have a reason to want her either.

"What's going on in your head, hm?" Her body is leaned into Oscar's, head now resting on his shoulder. Lando finds her hand and stops her from causing any harm to herself in her state of panic.

"I'm not enough for you two."

"Now who put that idea in your head? Because we're lyng."

"I put it there. I'm not cut out for this, I don't think. You have so many better options that I can't understand why I would be your first choice." It comes out more choked than she would've hoped.

"But we wished for you. Did you know that?"

Shock flood through her veins. "What do you mean? Like on a shooting star or something?"

Oscar snorts. "He's being sappy. What he means is that when we were talking about our feelings for you, turned out we both had very similar preferences."

"Yeah, the criteria was you. I swear it's like the universe knew!" Lando starts talking with his hands in animated motions. It makes the other two chuckle.

"All that to say, you're perfect the way you are. It's an overused statement, but I don't care because it's true."

Lando's mouth falls open in offense. "So you're allowed to be corny, and I'm not? This is a double standard, mate!"

So maybe it took her boyfriends arguing over what is an appropriate amount of sap for these situations. But at least she knows how much they love her.

(If the terrible pick-up lines they were using on her didn't solidify this fact, she doesn't know what would.)

[broadwayfangirl222]

I don't usually comment on this stuff, like at most I'll just find post I agree with and reblog it but I wanted to share my own thoughts on this:

In light of the leaks and all the spoilers and people commenting on the first two episodes. I'll just say, the anti/critical crowd has lost any and all credibility to me. I don't even mean this in a disparaging or negative way, I just legitimately can not trust their takes anymore. This isn't because I'm a stan who can't stand anyone not liking something they like. I don't care if you like vivziepop's shows or not. Like or don't like whatever you want The reason why I can't can't trust anti/critical takes anymore is because I've seen the most bad faith criticism and takes. I've seen it for the episodes I've seen so since I can't/won't watch the two hazbin episodes yet I'm gonna guess it'll be about the same for those. Like just off the top of my head i've seen takes from ciritics that are like: Somehow it's bad writing for Ozzie to make a whole point about consent, that it's somehow bad for the angels to be similar to the demons (which is the whole point, the point is they're not so different from the demons and the angels are massive hypocrites), Stella never physically abused Stolas 'cause he caught her hand before she could hit him, that somehow this scene between two disabled characters is somehow bad:

not even "it was bad representation because (x,y,z reasons)" Just...it was somehow bad to have this in the episode at all and how the writing for this would've apparently been better if the kid dealt with ableism or was mistreated before this.

And these are from people who at least watch the show/know the basic info about the show since I could be here all day if we go into the misinformation and flat out lies that muddy up the water. Not to mention the harassment being flung at both fans and people working on the shows. I've seen antis/criticals start attacking the people behind prehistoric planet and how the show is now ruined because Vivziepop made a post simply saying she was a fan of it. I've also seen people admitting to lying about working for Spindlehorse so they can lie about how bad the working conditions were. I would genuinely be willing to hear criticism of both the shows and crew if so much of it wasn't obviously done purely in bad faith and there were way less people willing to literally lie and fabricate things to make the shows and crews seem worse than they actually are.

Again I don't care if anyone likes the shows and crew or not. Like I said earlier everyone's entitled to their opinion and nothing/no one is perfect. I just get frustrated about (the lack of) media literacy and care about the very real world consequences that can come from some of the stuff being said/posted. For there to be any kind of actual conversation about this, and not just two camps of people yelling at each other, first, the harassment just needs to stop all together. No one deserves harassment, especially over something as frivolous as a tv show. Next, we need to get rid of misinformation especially when it relates to real people. Actually look into the info you're spreading or see being talked about, make corrections and admit if something ended up being wrong/misinformed.

[slutforsnow]

Chapter 1

Curious, Isn't it?

Eliana fell off the hood of the truck when it vibrated, hearing a crash. Scrambling to her feet, she didn't see Bella but saw a huge group crowding around the black car now beside them.

"What the hell-" She uttered, walking around the car only to see Bella and one of the famous Cullens- Edward. Trying to put the pieces together in her head she caught something. Edward's siblings were about 50 feet back away from Bella's truck so how could Ed be right here so fast?

Students gathered around to see what the happened and checked to see if the pair were okay meanwhile Eliana tilted her head in confusion. Ed and Bella were fine... yet the car was severely dented? Eli was puzzled.

As she thought about it, she remembered that none of the Cullens, not even Dr. Carlisle, were around in the sunlight. Eliana shook her head, that was impossible. After all, vampires weren't real.

Later that day, once everything had calmed down, Eli sat in the lobby of the hospital occasionally saying hi to the other doctors and nurses whom were surprised, yet also grateful to see that Eliana wasn't hurt.

She had started falling in and out of sleep, waiting for something to happen when something did. Jasper sat near her, a few seats down.

"Oh, hey, Jasper! Long time no see, what's up?" She greeted, smiling over at him.

"Nothing much, ma'am. Just was wonderin' if you'd like to meet up.. discuss this whole... thing that went down cause you looked kind of confused by it," He offered casually, noticing Edward talking lowly with Carlisle.

They were discussing how close that was and if Eliana should know or not. Jasper wasn't going to wait around and find out- she was going to know whether they liked it or not. Besides, it was the better option than Eli finding out and telling people.

Elianas face broke into a smile and she nodded excitedly.

"Yes, yes, I'd love to! Oh my God, I thought it was just me who thought that it was off, I'm so happy someone else thinks that too and I'm not crazy- well, I mean I am crazy to people who don't understand ASD very well, but that's beside point. Am I talking too much? Sorry-" Eli blushed a little, smiling a bit shyly. She didn't mean to start over sharing, it just happened when she got excited.

"Great, how abo-... what are you doing with your hands-?" He asked, noticing her hands were doing some weird pattern. Hit the arm of the chair twice, flick her middle finger, hit her wrist on the arm of the chair. Repeat. One of her nervous stims.

"Oh, sorry. That's one of my nervous stims-... happens when I'm super nervous about a friend," She explained, using her left hand to stop her right hand.

"It's okay, but there's no need to stop yourself from stimming. I don't mind it- just caught me off guard," Jasper replied, smiling softly. Ana would've just melted on sight at that smile if she was alone.

"Oh- well... thank you-... most people are weirded out by it-.. but where would we talk about this whole thing?"

"At my house, if you'd like?" He offered, hoping she would accept. He couldn't risk anyone hearing him explain the situation.

"Yeah, sure!!" Thank whatever God was up there because Jasper would've died again had she not said yes.

"Great, I'll drive."

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

hi 🤩 absolutely love your eddie fics lately, and in case requests are still open, could i request a fic where the reader is sort of taller and looks intimidating to others, but eddie loves teasing him 'cause he gets so easily flustered every time (could it possibly get more or less steamy too 👉👈) thank you sm!

Hi, thanks for the request! I am going to combine it with this request as well:

Hi! I absolutely love your works, and the highlight of my day is reading them. I just wanted to request Eddie x Male reader who’s a taxidermist? I’d prefer it if it was fluff, but I’m perfectly fine with anything! =^_^=

This one is going to be a bit of a mix--some fluffy steam, some steamy fluff. To the person who asked for the taxidermist reader, thank you for your patience. I kept trying to find the right idea to make this come alive.

Eddie Munson x Male Reader. Please note: Eddie is 19 in this fic. Reader is 20.

Send me request here! Currently writing for Eddie Munson. I write for a variety of reader inserts (male, female, gender neutral, POC too).

The more details you had to your request, the better it is for me. EX: “What about some fluff for Eddie after he’s had a long day?”

Feel free to look through my masterlist here!

_____________________________________

Eddie knows the truth. Under the height and beneath the scowl that seems to have permanently etched your mouth into a pout, Eddie knows the real you. Other folks see it only in glimpses when they come into the shop. Death has a way for others that requires a kind of softness to be discussed. When people come in with pets they're not ready to let go, the glasses are pulled down from the top of your head, you round your shoulders, you take up less space and talk a bit more quietly to help the person through the conversation.

But when folks come in wanting prize kills or to quote, you turn the shoulders back square, you are cordial and polite. And everyone in town has a different story about you because of it. All of them are good, except a couple from your senior year where a fight or three found sucked you into the vortex. Not that you wanted to be in those fights. Not that you would get into other ones with the purpose of starting them. No one can really say anything bad about you in the way you interact with others.

But everyone says the same thing, He looks sort of scary, off putting but really he's nice beneath it all.

Perhaps it doesn't help that you stroll the town in leather jackets. Perhaps your profession doesn't help either. But in the end, it pays the bills and has led you to leading a fairly stable life. Save for the surprise root canal you had a year ago, which stretched things thin for a little bit.

Perhaps it also doesn't help that in the company you keep resides your boyfriend--Eddie.

Another puff of breath hits your neck. "Love, what's going on?" you asks, setting the tweezers to the side before you damage the eye you're working on.

"Nothing," Eddie returns, shaking his head. "Just watching."

"Can you watch from the side? Your breath is tickling me and I can't mess up this part."

"Sorry, sugar," Eddie kisses your cheek and then moves to the left of you, leaning gently onto the work bench.

You would've thought Eddie would be doing literally anything else on a Saturday morning. But just as you were turning the key to open the doors to the shop, you heard the blaring drums and wailing guitar paired with squealing tires that let you know your boyfriend was pulling in. As you turned to confirm the suspicion, Eddie was climbing out of the van. His eyes were a little puffy which let you know he woke much earlier than usual and had come here. You told me over the phone last night post Hellfire that you had a couple things you needed to finish up today when he proposed a day date. You were only mentioning that you'd be at the shop around 8:30 in the morning under the hopes that if you finished early enough you could catch him right as his day started to see if he still wanted to hang out.

But the late night conversation places you both here. Eddie leaning into the work bench, mindful that you need nothing to jostle you. Eddie notices your hands haven't moved back to resume your work and he smiles before looking up. "What's going on in that head of yours, big boy?"

The nickname makes your cheeks heat up as you release a laugh. "Shut up. Don't you have homework to do?"

You're a year older than Eddie, but knew of him in school and occasionally spoke to each other in the halls. It wasn't until you spotted Eddie's band at the Hideout on a Tuesday night that you two really talked and now, a year later, as placed you two in a comfortable relationship of eight months. There were four months where you were sure of your feelings where Eddie wasn't sure if you'd be weirded about by his need to repeat is senior year.

"No, I don't, actually." Eddie is smug as he says it.

You peer at him over the top of your glasses. His face hardens into the resolve. "Eddie."

"I did it. Earlier."

Your eyebrow raises in a silent question to his statement: did he really?

"I didn't want to have to be doing stupid homework while here. I just wanted to spend the day, fully uninterrupted with you." He adds the last part softly, hand coming up to trace your jaw. His gaze makes yours falter. Eddie can't help the laugh, watching the way you fold to the tender touch. "God, you're so easy."

"Oh fuck off," you spit, and you want it to hold so much more vile than it does. But it comes out in a whisper--meek, like you feel right now as Eddie's fingers run until he's cupping your jaw.

"Give me a kiss."

It's a soft demand that you're happy to obey and Eddie grins against your lips just as you pull away before speaking, "You can't tell me fuck off when you're the one that obeys so well."

"I do know how to completely detach and reattach an eye, I wouldn't exactly test me," you huff out. It's a weak threat.

"Hmm, something tells me you wouldn't ever actually do it. Now I'm going to stop distracting you so you can work, yeah?" Eddie pulls his hands away from your face, settling down again atop of the stool you'd brought over for him before you got started.

"Perhaps, that's what we should be doing," you laugh. "One more kiss though?"

"I can't say no to a pout like that," Eddie whines, taking in the sight of your weathered eyes behind the glasses and the pout. This kiss is short and sweet like the others, but the two of you linger. You know you want more. You suspect Eddie does too, but the way he gives in with another peck.

But there's work and you need to do it. So you turn your attention back to the buck head. Eddie's voice only penetrates the silence occasionally to ask questions. You're more than happy to answer them.

When the bell from the front desk rings, you push up from you're seated and slip out of the gloves that you've been wearing. Eddie swats at your ass as you pass and you hardly blink an eye at the action. "Hi, Mrs. Pugh," you greet.

The conversation is short to Eddie's ears and then the bells above the front doors chime again a few minutes later, you return, washing your hands in the sink before you slip into another pair of gloves. They're black and not the ones you usually had in the shipments. But Eddie bought you a box of black gloves just for shits and giggles once and now you continue the tradition.

It's only another hour of work for you before you call it a day. Saturdays were usually short days for you anyway, though more people stopped in during the afternoons, you tried not to work with the animals for too long on Saturdays preferring to give more space to the front--people making payments, dropping off, picking up. It was usually a steady stream and any attempts to do both would become overrun by the demands of customers in the front.

Eddie migrates with you, when you transition from the work in the back to manning the front desk. "So I was thinking for Christmas that maybe it might be a good idea for me to decorate the trailer. Wayne loves the holidays but because he works so much, never gets to the chance to do much."

You nod at the comment. "Let me guess, you don't know where to start do you?"

"Not in the slightest."

You were currently in the process of moving into your own place but it wouldn't most likely happen until early spring. Until then you were still with your parents and they'd become a little famous in town for having one of the best decorated houses.

"I'll help," you return, spinning to face Eddie.

From the outside, this might look like you crouching in on Eddie, given that you had him by about six inches and about twenty pounds. But Eddie and you both know the truth. He reaches for the wide silver buckle--a belt you wore religiously--and tugs you between his legs. "Thank you. We have some lights. Not sure where we can fit a Christmas tree."

"Don't worry about it," you return softly. "Leave it to me."

"Have I told you today that I utterly fucking adore you?"

You laugh a little, mostly an exhale through your nose. "Not yet."

"Well," Eddie stretches up, lips brushing over yours. "I utterly fucking adore you."

The sentiment is sealed with a kiss. His hands slip under the gray t-shirt, tracing the bumps of your abs. You settle deeper into Eddie, one hand slipping to his hip to tug him closer. You can hear the echoes of your own kissing, the smack of lips as they part. A hum travels up Eddie's throat and you swallow it down for him.

The moment is interrupted by the chime of the bells above the door. "You know, I should not walk in on you two making out as much as I do," Steve huffs.

You and Eddie are slow to pull apart. Eddie turns to face Steve first, his arms winding around your waist to keep you close. "You're just jealous."

"Whatever, Munson. Honestly, if my dad didn't ask me come here, I think I'd live a longer life," he teases, leaning into the counter. "How much more does he owe you by the way?"

You tap at Eddie's elbows to check the ledger and he pulls away from your body for you to work. You're sure it's paid off, but you've always learned to check before you speak. The harrington's usually paid on pick up all in full, but with the holidays approaching you know more and more people are paying in segments. You flip to the H's and go until you see Harrington. "You're paid in full as of last week."

Steve nods, pushing off the counter. "Thanks. You can resume now, make out in front of the very large windows. The whole town's watching." He knows the taunt won't stop the two of you in the slightest.

[khaleesiofalicante]

The IALS story was everything, Max and David are everything and it couldn't have been more perfectly imperfect than that, it was so them so thank you for this amazing doze of serotonin!🤗

“Not necessarily,” David shakes his head again. “Max, what happened, it didn’t just happen to me. It happened to both of us. Just because our wounds are different, it doesn’t mean we can’t share our pain.”

This line did it for me honestly, because in most of your fanfics, especially LBAF, Max is so obsessed with fixing things for David and helping him that he forgets that whatever's happening affects him too. That's why he can't be Other Max, those things aren't happening to Other Max, he has other stuff to deal with (see what I did there?) , the shit that happens in the current timeline is affecting both of them and they need to start healing and hurting together. That's the dream, I really hope they realize and fix this.

The Jaden content made me remember how much I didn't like him, I was half expecting Lance to show up and start roasting him, and now I can't stop thinking about Lance running into Jaden again, pure ✨️comedy✨️, which also made me wonder Max's reaction if he finds out that David called him? I can see that conversation going pretty bad and then better.

I forgot how much I enjoy David perspective, personally I relate to him a lot as a character, and I've found myself having similar problems or views so I really missed reading his inner thoughts. I also missed him simpimg over Max, that's just adorable.

Like real people do was what I didn't know I needed it was amazing, again it was absolutely brilliant🩷

PS: Was that how you always envisioned this scene going or was it easier for you to write it after all this time? Like when you finished it you had the mentality of Mavid trying to heal but after time passed it was like something cooled down and it was easier to imagine them getting closer?

PPS: People who can't take no for an answer suck and should burn in hell, honestly as someone who has a problem setting certain boundaries, it's so annoying when you have finally mastered the courage to say no and some people just disregard it. Stupid idiots, let's hope they find their lost empathy at some point🌼

Helloooooo.

I'm glad you liked the story. And yes, that's one of my favourite quotes too, because Max is one of those people who forgets about his own pain when his loved ones are hurt and I WANNA SHAKE HIM AND BE LIKE BITCH YOU ARE HURT TOO.

Originally, I wanted David to tell Max that he called Jaden. But it seemed unnecessary tbh - and it would've taken focus away from the real story. So, I decided against it. That man has caused enough drama.

I miss David perspective too :(

It was definitely not easy to write it right after IALS. Like I couldn't even picture it - because it was almost as if they were still healing inside my head. It's like saying 'get well soon' but without the 'soon' part, because I wanted them to take their time. I was willing to wait for them because I knew whenever the story would come to me, I'd be willing to write it. There were certain bits and pieces that I knew would be in this scene, including Max feeling insecurity about his appearance and David reaching out to Jaden, and the whole thing happening randomly, as if their hearts were healed and they didn't know about it and it randomly hit them like 'oh'. I hope that makes sense!

PS - Those people really do suck and there is nothing more despicable than disrespecting consent!

Love you.

[mlchaelwheeler]

With the Angela situation-- yeah i think it is bad that that situation is treated like some girlboss moment but what is weirder is that El literally previously has been shown to break another bully's arm (Troy) on the show and made him pee himself too. The narrative didnt treat it as some sort of a bad situation. It was actually meant to be a well deserved comeback and ''cool'' scene. So it makes you ask why it's different now when El hits Angela? Troy being pushed or being his arm broken because he was being homophobic was a good and satisfying scene but Angela getting a similar treatment is supposed to be not? Is it because El hit her without using her powers? I am sorry but I am not getting it lol. We've seen this girl did similar things on the show before so why the treatment is different now when she does the same thing?

I mean if Will did smack Angela and if the narrative treated it as some sort of a shocking moment I would have understood because Will never uses violance or stands up to bullies. But El has done the same thing all the time previously on the show so it aint making sense when the show seems to portray two different narrative choices here when the both scenes are pretty much the same.

yes, the way el interacted with both troy and angela are relatively similar. with troy, she saw that mike and dustin were in danger (and she saved mike from death), so she quick jumped to action by breaking troy's arm. with angela, el obviously didn't have her powers, so she did the next-best thing she could think of and smacked her in the face.

i think that the difference (for me at least) is that when she physically hurt troy, it was because he would've caused mike to die (and may have physically cut dustin with the knife as well). also at this point, el had been in the normal world for what.. 2 days? however when she physically hurt angela, it was because she got bullied in front of a ton of people. el physically attacked angela even though she hadn't been physically attacked herself; it wasn't a life-or-death situation like with troy. with troy, she broke his arm to quickly stop the situation from getting worse, especially since he was still holding the knife. with angela, she wasn't in any "danger" per say but still smacked her in front of the entire roller rink. also at that point, she had been in the normal world for over a year and should've realized that was going to have some major consequences.

el does have a problem with violence in the show. yes, it is due to her upbringing in the lab where she was encouraged (and forced) to use violence against her "siblings." at some point though, she does need to learn that not all situations can be solved by smacking someone in the face, especially when they're not life-or-death situations.

also, the bullies in s4 were really stereotypical and 2d imo. angela was bullying el why? because of her clothes? because of the way she speaks? angela didn't really have a motivation to be a big "menace" to el, which made the bullying seem overly stupid imo compared to what the party went through in s1. with troy and james, they were blatently homophobic, racist, and ableist. troy forced mike to nearly commit suicide and said it was better off will was dead because he was gay. this imo is far more.. (not meaningful (i can't think of the word)).. but real in a sense because these are situations where death is appreciated because of someone's sexuality. that is a much bigger deal than pouring a milkshake over someone's head at a roller rink. just my opinion though, i'm not trying to start an argument.

[mariannethetortured]

No one hates me quite like I hate myself.

I don't hate all of my life. Life gave me my amazing son. I hope he doesn't get my genes. I'm a mess. I fear all the time that despite my best efforts I'm still messing him up. Still causing trauma that I wanted him to have no part of. All because I'm broken. A broken, emotionality unstable woman that was given life to by the same.

"I wish I would never have been born"

The words "I wish I would never have been born" are running rampant through my mind lately. I remember the first time I said those words to my "mother". I didn't know the details of my existence at that time - that the man I call dad isn't my birth father or that the man that is my biological father wanted nothing to do with me. But my "mother" sure knew how to make me feel unloved and unwanted. I don't however recall a time where she said she didn't love me or didn't want me, but she didn't have to say it out loud, her actions the first 24+ years of my life said it loud and clear.

The first time I said those words I knew babies were born but not how they got there. Later it turned into "if you don't want me, just put me up for adoption". How can a mother hear those words out of her child's mouth and not fix anything? I would die if my son ever felt unloved even for a moment.

He's the best thing I've done in my life.

He's the best thing I've done in my life. He doesn't know it but he's the reason I haven't and will never give up on myself completely. It's a big job that he shouldn't have to have, so I don't tell him. I just make sure he knows every day how much I love him and how proud he makes me. I've never had that.

It makes me so angry because it's so unfair. All the things that Would've, Could've, Should've been. What she should have been. I don't know how to be loved.

I know the lives I see on social media aren't all real...

My husband doesn't make me feel any better. I know the lives I see on social media aren't all real... But there has to be a fraction of it that is? I get none of it. I don't get cute date nights (in or out), there's no kitchen dancing, no snuggling at night, no holding my hand in the car anymore. We've been together since we were 17 and we don't even have a song. I am exhausted from the bare minimum or less.

I know people grow apart, but most days I'm angry on top of being sad. I Love You, It's Ruining My Life. He seems unbothered of course. If I try to bring anything up I'm "starting an argument" if we're already arguing and I bring it up I'm "crazy" or a "psycho" or having an "episode" if I'm overwhelmed and hit my breaking point. Or I've been told do do a favor and kill myself. How can you say you love someone and utter words like that on more than one occasion? He'll apologize eventually and say he didn't mean it, and he was just trying to upset me. I'll be expected to forgive and forget it was even said, though it hits me like a bullet to the chest every time and the bullet fragments stay in my chest and fester under the skin. I return words from arguments in the past, throwing them back at him because the tables have turned - and I get told I'm crazy because he "forgets" what he's said to me in the past. Tells me that I'M the gaslighter. Did he really forget? How do you hurt someone over and over again with words and just forget about it?

I have no one to talk to about this.

I have no one to talk to about this. My grandparents are dead. His sisters and mom have their own demons that I'm not going to add to that, I refuse to let my son know the extent of my hopelessness because I don't want to taint his wellbeing with my poison, and my ex-best friends are well, ex. I could talk to my mom friends about it, but I don't want to burden anyone, and what if word got out? I don't ever want the room to go quiet when I walk in. So I endure, alone.

I want him to research, learn, and understand why I am the way I am. That it's not some fucking switch I can just turn off. There's a mask I put on to hide it, but it never goes away. He says he loves me, but I don't believe he knows what the definition is. I know he doesn't care, because he doesn't even try. Makes no effort for anything and then gets mad when I don't want him grabbing on me unaffectionately.

Afterglow

Tell me that you're still mine

Tell me that we'll be just fine

Even when I lose my mind

I need to say

Tell me that it's not my fault

Tell me that I'm all you want

I'm not crazy. I'm broken, and my needs are perfectly reasonable. Nobody hates me as much as I hate myself.

If my need for constant reassurance is too much for him, then he needs to just end it. How am I supposed to live the rest of my life feeling just like I do right now? I can go days without speaking out loud to people, I rot in bed and distract myself with other people's lives and try not to think about my own.

I don't know if I'm done with this yet, but I'm done for now.

[eradicatetehnormal]

Just Finished Class of '09 the Re-Up

I never played the original, I just watched some playthroughs on Bijuu Mike's channel. I liked the black humor and the characters. There's just something so great about a female character who is unapologetically shitty. I like having a vessel to enact my worst tendencies.

Honestly, I didn't like the Re-Up's endings as much as I liked the original's, but I understand why they're like that since this is only taking place in the senior year. Although it does make me wonder why it costs more than the original.

I still liked the game, though.

The first ending I got was the one where I busted the teacher. That was an interesting one. I particularly liked the part where Nicole was just like "Yeah, there's no real difference between sex work and retail work." Of course, she's not a leftist or a Zoomer, so she doesn't flat-out say "We all sell our bodies under capitalism," but I know what my commie queen meant. Stuff like that is fun, though. As someone who was 4 during the time this game takes place, it's always fun to see parallels between how teens supposedly acted in the 2000s vs now.

I believe the second ending I got was the one where Nicole went to jail. I wanted to slap the shit out of her when she was giving that speech to Jecka. Bitch is so aware of her privilege...Until she's not. I do like that the ending made her reflect on her actions as well as gave some commentary on how prison systems make shitty people worse.

The third ending I got was the one where Nicole stole that Catholic girl's man. It's just like, damn, all that 'cause he wasn't getting his dick sucked. Like yeah, the Catholic girl was controlling, but he left her for a girl who fake-offered him sex, but hey, just plays into this game's series' hard-hitting and compelling theme. That all men are trash.

The fourth ending I got was the one where Nicole used Ari. I feel like in terms of impact, this one was the jail ending but better. The steps it took to get there were painfully realistic, with Ari staying in a terrible relationship because she had nowhere else to go, and then was forced back into the closet. I didn't expect Nicole to actually feel bad. It's interesting that Ari is the only partner she feels any remorse for. Nicole is probably gay and she's the embodiment of that one twitter post. I can't find it but it said something like "Don't leave your shitty male ex for me, I will literally treat you the exact same way." I just feel bad for Ari...Or at least I did, until...

The fifth ending I got was the one where Ari's house got caught on fire because of a hate crime. During this ending, it's revealed that Ari is a fucking femcel, SO FUCK HER! Alright, alright, Ari's not that bad. She's certainly got nothing on some of these dudes in the game but this ending really made me have soured feelings towards her, and her being okay with a supposedly racist Nicole in another route did not make me feel better.

The sixth ending I got is probably one of my favorites just because of the path to get there. This game had me shipping Nicole and Emily so hard. It was great to see someone who could actually out-do Nicole and match her personality. They would've been such a fun couple if uh.. You know...Didn't happen.

Last ending I got was the one with the racist teacher. That's probably the closest this game has to a "good" ending. I had my suspicions about the teacher when she said that 2pac was a fantastic and thought-provoking rapper, but that Kanye, 2008 Kanye, had nothing but music about bitches and hos. I had to turn my computer's volume down when she started reading Nicole's essay. Not only is she racist, she's just ultra-fake and bad at her job? First, she dismissed the nuance of modern rap and then she couldn't even recognize plagiarism from a book that was being read IN THE SCHOOL? ALSO, SHE WROTE A PAPER ON HOW INTERRACIAL DATING WAS MISOGYNISTIC TO WHITE WOMEN? Is it weird that I kind of want to know how she went about that? Did she argue that black men were fetishizing white women or that white women were left behind because she couldn't get a black boyfriend? It's probably the former but the latter is way funnier.

[asterjennifer]

hi! i love your content so much, and you’re such a sweet person! i’ve actually started writing fanfics bc of your encouragement!!

i was hoping to request GE and SE Saeran (or just GE if that makes it easier!) with a chubby mc with a history of self harm, relapsing with their atypical anorexia (due to hitting their highest recorded weight) and hiding it from him? mostly because they don’t want to add to his problems, as well as a fear of being stopped. i’ve relapsed in my atyp ana, and it’s been a bit of a struggle lately. i’m quite in love with saeran and have been for years, so i’m sorta looking for comfort, haha. but!! if this is too triggering of an ask, you def don’t have to write it!! thank you so much <3 and pls don’t worry, i’m sure i’ll come out of it again :)

🎀 Oh my dear... Hearing you being encouraged by my words makes me so happy.. And you got this! I know you can, you'll be okay again just like Saeran <3 🎀

© @guririries on Tumblr

Body and Mind

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: GE Saeran x Reader

Category: Angst (Fluff)

Warnings: eating disorder, confrontation

Word count: 2106

Author's Note: Well if you'd like a little story, then let's focus on GE Saeran^^

Summary: What had happened to your body, it's none he should know.

Although you try to hide away it's obvious he comes to learn as he never fails to watch you closely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Probably, it wouldn't have been so difficult for you if you'd said something from the beginning, you knew that very well. But opening up wasn't always one of the things you could claim as your strengths. Most of the time it's incredibly difficult for you to get even a single word out about your problem, or to squeeze it out like you've actually been doing all your life.

Whatever happened, one of your last intentions had been for the man you loved more than anything in this world to find out about your habits, which caused you ending up where you stood today.

Sometimes you broke your mind over the 'what ifs', although they only added oil to the fire named health. What if you would've been comfortable in your own skin. What if looking into the mirror wouldn't make you sick to the stomach? Could you have avoided ending up this way if having someone in your younger years reassuring you about better eating habits instead of scolding you for the intention of seeking attention instead?

People liked to misinterpret the weight that lay on your shoulders when it came to this topic, especially if it's your body as a whole. Some thought you're just wanting to be taken care of, others assumed you're stuck in major depression. Despite the sadness taking over at the subject, which you could never deny, it's not either of it.

That's fickle, the perfect picture of the flawless body. Was it even real outside of the internet? You sighed, rubbing your forehead in order to ease some of the headache following you around since the morning set in.

When others accused you for being needy, it's always the opposite reaction they earned. You didn't want pity or hushing, on the contrary, you never wanted for anyone to find out the mess you could become once it's back to the older days. Was it the recent stress? The fact it took so much out of you all when trying to save both Saeyoung and Saeran after dealing with three bad sides at once? Rika suddenly turned out to be one of the last concerns, that meant something.

You rushed through your hair, enjoying the sun coming through the curtains with the birds outside the house singing their usual songs. Now it's all settled, the bad was defeated and the days to come seemed to be filled with happiness, as Saeran loved to put it.

However, you're uncertain how true this would be for you personally. Not that you didn't enjoy the peace overtaking the future with many bright memories in mind, but there's a nagging feeling corrupting your bones.

You'd been handling it just fine until recently. Because it's finally time for the past to sink into your mind? Or perhaps the insecurities which had no time to reach your mind when being busy with more important matters crashed down onto you all at once with the impact so heavily. It's suffocating, to say at least.

Yet there's a small wish praying in the corner of your heart, even though it felt foreign to just think about it. What if he knew?

Never in your life did you want to bother your lover, who'd gone through a hell nobody could understand. All his life he was surrounded by the bad and dark parts of life itself, how could you ever end up spilling your worries on top of these haunting memories he's trying so hard to work through these days? How would you speak this burden if it's nothing in comparison to his pain? It didn't appear fair towards him. He deserved a carefree life.

Adding yourself to the list of his concerns felt selfish, so much so it's close to impossible mentioning the problem in any given way. It's not the first time you're dealing with it by yourself, it's only a matter of time until it's going better, all you had to do's keep quiet and go through this silently.

But you should've known better; should've known he's coming to realize when you started eating less. When standing in front of the mirror with a frown covering your face.

All these little indications painted the picture of what's truly happening without you making that conclusion before it's too late to turn back. Of course Saeran managed to find out, it's the confrontation you really should've seen coming and prepare for.

There you sat, trying not to let the stare of his ocean eyes get to you. At the edge of the bed, playing with your hair strands while staring out of the window instead of creating eye contact. It tore the thread of patience that's so thin to begin with.

The moment he'd been wishing you a good morning, as he's often up before you, and asked to join him in the kitchen since he made breakfast; you felt anxiety coming over your soul. Therefore you refused softly, waving your hand to play if off as having simple loss of appetite. But his kind facial expression changed to something so strict you hadn't seen in months.

Then he asked what has changed, literally laying out the issue at hand in front of your feet and it took all effort not to break down.

With his arms crossed, he watched your face twist in uncertainty. He leaned against the wall of the bedroom as he eyed your reaction rather closely and somehow it made you feel more exposed than ever. You had no idea what to say; let alone how to smooth out his suspicions.

He'd been dealing with weight problems back at Magenta as well, it's one of the reasons why you bonded so well with Ray from the start. He seemed to understand the torture of an empty stomach while still hating on the own body, which most of the time ended up in self-punishment. He understood and frankly; one hand you'd been grateful you've found someone who's struggling with similar issues, on the other, however, it created an empty space in your chest.

To know someone that pretty and amazing agonized himself to the brim's hard to accept once you develop feelings for that someone. Thanks to some knowledge, you're able to help him take better care of his health in general. Yet it never worked for yourself and now it looked like you're going to pay for avoiding that fact.

"Saeran, it's..." Your words stayed stuck in your throat by the imagination you're becoming another burden in his life. The man with white hair titled his head, pink tips long enough to cover his face by now.

He waited for you to continue. But you shook your head, knowing there's no explanation working in your favor. "Is it your weight that's bothering you?" His question stabbed right through your heart as you looked back at your lover. Saeran's face was unreadable which almost scared you more than getting called out. "You use the scales a lot lately.."

You bit down your tongue, trying to ignore the lump forming in your throat from the bitter taste. "How will you know?" Sounding a bit too defensive, Saeran didn't seem offended by it and just pointed back to the door. "The battery is empty. And Saeyoung and me use it very rarely." Now the feeling of incompetence filled your head as well, it's beyond your comprehension how he wasn't acting frustrated at your stupid questions.

"I.." The noise of your heart ripping echoed in your ears along the pulse that shoot through your veins. You searched for words, anything to ease the tension in the air before Saeran let his hand fall back down beside his body. "(N), whatever it is, you know.. I don't judge. I love you." The affection broke down the dam afterwards.

You immediately rubbed away the tears that found their way to the surface. "I'm dealing with eating disorder!" It wasn't your intention to snap; it happened regardless because you couldn't remember the last time you've said it out loud.

Saeran's eyes widened which you couldn't see as you avoided gazing into his face by staring at the floor. "I- I didn't want you to know, goddamn it," Your voice broke off at the edges. "I didn't want to be another problem you have to take care of and tend... But of course you had to notice!" The mumbling died down, leaving the silence to thicken the air you found difficult to breathe in.

What would he do now? Knowing this man from head to toe, yet getting surprised by his decisions to this day, you're unsure what his reaction would be like. Perhaps it's enough for him to drain out until he's unable to stay by your side. God knows it wouldn't be the first time someone took distance by that never ending circle you're stuck in.

"Why did you never tell me?" Was the first thing he said after what felt like an eternity of uncomfortable silence. "Keeping that a secret from me... I was worrying sick about you." Confused by that particular tone you finally found the courage to see he's pained.

His bright eyes owned a darker shade, for a second you feared he's close to crying. "You trust me with everything, why not this? What made you suffer all alone like this?"

The way he phrased it had the tears winning when running down your cheeks. You hugged yourself, a pathetic attempt to relax your stiff muscles. "I- I couldn't bear the thought of putting any more pain on you." Your confession deepened the frown on his face. "But you're the love of my life. You need to be open with me about such things, what.."

You hid your tears behind your eyes after lowering your head into both palms, it's not funny how you shook from the fear and nervousness inside your system. "I'm sorry-!" You yelped helplessly. "I don't know, I was scared.. I still am! I'm sorry."

The two hands coming around your shoulders frightened you until you realized he took steps closer. Saeran put them both onto your back to have your tears soak into his white shirt instead of your own skin. He pulled you pretty tightly and you sank into the safeness it offered. "Don't be sorry about your condition.. Don't be sorry for anything, my love." He whispered into your hair, leaving a little kiss to the top of your head.

"I'm just.. I'm sad you thought this would be a burden to me, because it's not. You could never, ever be a burden to me.. You know this, don't you?" Saeran felt you nod into the embrace, stroking his hand over your head lovingly.

You sniffed away the hurt, able to take in the warmth of his body and the fresh scent he carried tore down your walls, making you cry and sob out. At least the sound's muffled when pressing yourself deeper against him as you put both arms around him in return. God, shouldn't you have known better? You shouldn't have underestimated your lover.

Saeran hushed you accordingly. His heart beat faster than you're familiar with, it made you wonder how he's feeling about you keeping your lips sealed when wanting to be open with each other, maybe you deserved it he bluntly confronted you with everything. "Saeran.."

You sighed after calming down some more. The young man with minty colored eyes took the words out of your mouth before having the chance to say something else. "You know you're beautiful to me, right?" It caught you off guard.

He stroked through your hair strands carefully, never coming to a hold. "Your weight doesn't matter to me. Whatever you feel insecure about is something I cherish. Try to see if from my perspective." You closed your eyes, thinking what you would've done if he's the one dealing with this stuff. And it's no surprise it hurt when picturing him bearing it all by himself.

"I love you the way you are and if you need help, that is okay." He brushed his index finger under your chin, wanting to get a glimpse at your eyes. Looking up to him being that close, your heart couldn't help but skip a beat.

Saeran smiled warm while letting the touch wander to your cheek to wipe away the rest tears. "You're my angel. And I will gladly go through this with you. For however long you need it.. Or how hard it might be." As you smiled back at the comfort, Saeran huffed relieved. "You're no burden (N).. You're my everything."

[vethbrenatto]

People immediately jumped to the “oh this is fcgs evil murder bot side!” but theres so much to unpack in those 2 minutes that proves that this is probably not the case at all starting with the stress points. The more stressed fcg is the closer they get to that breaking point. Them being practically abandoned by dancer pushed them past it. (This is abit of a long ask sorry)

There’s a few things we know about this state: fcg didn’t wake up and started attacking for no reason chet did hit him and in the state that he was in they saw him as a threat. Also something that alot of people seemed to overlook is the fact that fcg only retaliated against those who hurt him first, he could’ve yelled at the entire party but they didn’t. Ashton did grab fcg but didn’t cause them any harm and fcg didn’t retaliate at Ashton at all.

This is more on the theory side of things but the whole saying there insecurity things at them was probably a way to get the party to run away from him, saying things that they don’t like to hear would drive them away from them so that they wouldn’t get hurt anymore.

the funny yet sad thing is the party probably could’ve talked him down, they weren’t saying or doing anything to those who didn’t hurt him so if they just let fcg be grappled and stay there maybe they would’ve been able to talk to them. Also the violence made it much worse, since fcg seemed way more stressed out the more they got hurt.granted there was a lot more going on so not gonna blame anyone but hopefully one of them /probably Ashton/ will want a much different approach the next time this happens or just say it in preparation

hi same person who wrote the massive fcg anon sorry if that was abit long i just have alot of thoughts about this character and wanted to hear your own thoughts! /also im not the biggest fan of the "oh fcg turned evil" thing /

i'm assuming these asks go together! and no worries, i don't mind hearing people's takes as long as it's not like "you should have this opinion about this"

personally, i kind of disagree with this. i think FCG in the state they were in couldn't have been talked down- mechanically, it seems like they had been triggered in some sense and the only thing that would've stopped them was probably a successful save, being knocked out (like they were), or possibly a calm emotions (this was also tried, but only after FCG was knocked out).

i think you're right it's obviously deeper than "murderbot" because FCG's personality that we've gotten to know doesn't seem to be malicious, but the stress points and the backstory of FCG being triggered by other's negative emotions and absorbing their pain (a metaphor for unhealthy coping mechanisms) to me doesn't make it... not murderbot? it's just a reflavoring and recontextualizing.

also i think i agree that I don't think FCG means the things he said, he said them to be the most hurtful he could. it seems like from the narrative we're being give, those negative emotions he's swallowing from others fester in him, so that's obviously what comes out when he "turns"

to me at this point i think the most interesting thing that could happen (other than this all being a fakeout- that FCG wasn't the one-eyed monster, which i think is 10x better a twist than him being one, but i also don't think that's going to happen) is going to be learning FCG's Aeorian roots. what about their time with Dancer led to this "malfunction"? did she just program him to be a helper bot and being of his advanced intelligence he, just like a real person, couldn't live for just other people's emotional wellbeing. he has to learn to live for himself and consider his own feelings and now that i'm typing that out, it does feel like that is probably the most predictable outcome of all this and it kind of bores me dfgfjdklgkl so um. i hope something else happens? idk

[bubbah26]

I am SHAAAAKING in anger right now...like wtf was that episode. It doesn't make sense, none of it. I know we still have 3 episodes left BUT, episode 13 felt like such a slap in the face.

The miscommunication between jun-ho and youngwoo. It was just...left.

The forced 'blossoming relationship' between su-yeon and minwoo (which I REBUKE,my queen deserves better)

Don't even get me started on my king attorney Jung, I hate that they're putting him through pain.

Get ready, cause this is me ranting and it's gonna be long!

Junho and Youngwoo

Clearly, Junho was still a little upset at Youngwoo because of the whole 'we never said we were dating so we're not dating' convo that happened in ep 12, and I was full on expecting them to hash it out and come to some kind of resolve,but that just didn't happen. Instead we were slapped with a 2 second mention of what happened and then Youngwoo got hit with an inlaw meet up, like wtf. I had to replay the scene again just in case I missed anything. I would say that he is still just in love with her as ever, but something about they're relationship feels strange now, and there is soooo much that doesn't make sense like, Junho is such a great guy, and through the first half of this show I kept thinking 'wow, so he comes from a family that accepts people for who they are and are non-judgemental, how brilliant' and then we meet his sister, who passes judgement and prejudice, she didn't even get to know Youngwoo properly, she just took one look at her and already had it in her mind that she couldn't make junho happy. And that thing she said about how their parents would faint if they found out about her,it had my heart squeezing with anxiety and sadness and I felt soooo bad for our Youngwoo. I am still trying to be optimistic about our whale couple, and I get that there will be challenges in this relationship like the writer said there will be, but with only 3 episodes left, I don't know how things are gonna turn out, especially when they had the chance (multiple chances) to clear the air this episode and blatantly chose not too.

2. Choi Suyeon and Kwon Minwoo romance plot

NO!! ok NOOOO!!! Look, that moment he had with his surprised Pikachu face in ep 9 is something I can look past because let's be real, we all reacted the same way, even Youngwoo turned half lesbian when she saw her but this...this is just not ok. I would've been good with it had Minwoo had his redemption arc in earlier episodes, but it just feels too rushed and sloppy now. What!? We're supposed to sympathize with him all of a sudden because his parents have health problems and he's got too be the breadwinner for his family? like, it sucks that his parents are unwell, but that still doesn't excuse the behaviour he has displayed towards Youngwoo and the things he is still ACTIVELY trying to do. And they wanna throw Su Yeon in the middle of it? Our girl has been through enough!! I won't say anymore about this other than I hope this is just a subplot where Suyeon finds out about what he plans to do and derails his plans. Extra points if Geurami somehow finds out also and they stomp him together, bit of a reach but, if the latest episode has taught us anything, it's to expect the unexpected.

3. Attorney Jung

It was touching albeit heartbreaking to see a glimpse of his married life, as soon as they got to that old noodle place and he started talking fondly about it, I knew there had to be something else, the smile he had on his face while explaining the noodles to everyone, it felt like warm familiarity. Even though his storyline is heavy with sadness and pain, I love how he fully embraced the trip to Jeju. Choosing to ride in the drop top with Geurami and hairy boss at the bafflement of his colleagues, telling everyone that he just wants to hang out with them and enjoy food and drinks, promptly slamming their laptops down and making a mess of Youngwoo's papers(that made me laugh out loud and fall in love with him even more😂) even though he knows this is still work, he's making the most and best of it, and I couldn't be happier for him. The end made me cry for obvious reasons, I'm sooo scared for him. Imma throw hands if anything tragic happens to him.

Anyways, those were my 3 major concerns. I know there's a lot more to unpack but my brain is still trying to recover atm😂

Sidenote: Geurami and hairy boss were the dopamine we all needed to make it through.

And thank you for coming to my Ted talk😊

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home

⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon

⤷ verse 2 | verse 3

⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...

"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.

"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.

"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.

"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."

he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.

the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...

"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."

the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."

you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."

he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.

maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.

but he didn't.

"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."

so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.

i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.

⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.

why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.

"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?

tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.

he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.

"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.

but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."

disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.

"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"

"i'm sor—"

"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.

as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."

"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."

"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."

and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.

but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?

at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[johnsamericano]

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •3•

I hope this ain't getting shitty. Thank you for reading, sexy people. Send me a message or an ask if you'd like to be added to the tag list.

warnings: hungover jaehyun, age gap, hospitals, nothing too extreme.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato @painted-hills

~

Yoonoh woke up on a strange bed, the mattress stiffer than the one he had back home. He refused to open his eyes, fearing that the daylight would worsen his headache.

Yoonoh woke up on a strange bed, the mattress stiffer than the one he had back home. He refused to open his eyes, fearing that the daylight would worsen his headache.

“Wake up, sunshine.” He groaned, all the memories from the past night hitting him like a truck. “Come on, I made breakfast.”

His eyelids finally fluttered open, frown softening at the sight of you in a messy bun and your cute pajamas.

“How come you look so fresh?” The dark circles under his eyes had deepened in the span of a few hours. Thank God he didn't have to work that day.

“I always look fresh.” You seemed to be more comfortable around him. Perhaps it was because you had to tuck him in last night. “Up.”

You tugged both of his limp hands, forcing him to sit up.

“What did you cook? It smells nice.” He scrunched up his nose like a little kid.

“Eggs, bacon, and hash browns.” Fast as lightning, he got up from bed. On his way to the kitchen, he noticed the blanket hanging from the edge of your sofa. Disappointment pinched his heart.

“Why didn't you sleep with me? You would've been more comfortable.”

You set two plates on the small table, pulling the pan out of the stove to serve them.

“You spread yourself all over the bed as soon as I laid you down.” You lied successfully. You didn’t have the heart to tell him you weren’t that comfortable yet.

You let the pan down on the kitchen counter, taking a seat in front of him.

“Do you still want to visit my father?” Sparkling orbs stared at him timidly, fearing his answer would be negative.

“I mean…” You hummed, trying not to give it as much importance. “I do want to go!” He quickly corrected himself, frantically shaking his hands. “It’s just that I don't want to meet your father like this.” He pointed at his bed hair, which had only become messier since he woke up.

“You’re acting like he's gonna see you.” There was a slight bitterness in your tone, along with a fake grin.

“Alright, let's do this instead...” Yoonoh sat up straight, clearing his throat as if he were about to give a speech. “We’ll have breakfast, you'll shower quickly, and then we’ll drive to my house so I can fix myself. How does that sound?”

“So I'm finally gonna see your mansion? How exciting.” You kicked his leg teasingly under the table, his cheeks inevitably dipping as he tried to suppress a smile. “I bet you have some peacocks in your backyard.”

“And there's also a dolphin in my pool.” He let out a hearty laugh, extending his arm over the table to grab your hand.

His house was most definitely not what you expected.

It was about the size of the one you grew up in, the decoration inside minimalistic. There were no expensive paintings framed with pure gold, only pictures of him and his family. There was a small backyard you could access through the French door in the kitchen. Half of it was occupied by a greenhouse.

“I had to donate the peacocks to the zoo.” He whispered as you looked through the glass door, squeezing your shoulders with his slim fingers.

“What a shame.” Hesitantly, he wrapped both of his limbs around your torso, letting his chin rest stop of your head. Your heartbeat was thumping loudly against your chest. Yoonoh surely felt it but decided not to comment on it.

“There’s a Tv in my room in case you want to watch something while I shower.” A hint of mischief adorned his honey-like voice. “Or you can come in and watch me instead.”

“Stop!” Your elbow connected with his ribs out of pure panic, making him bend in pain with his hands covering the injured spot.

“It was a joke...” He whispered, teeth gritting together.

I made him mad, you thought. Should you escape or face the consequences of his anger? All thoughts erased from your mind as he grabbed your calves, lifting you over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You hit his back with closed fists, unable to see the expression on his face. “Yoonoh!”

He went up the stairs, proceeding to enter his room and throw you on his bed. Thousands of dirty scenarios crossed your mind before he threw himself on top of you, crushing your bones under his muscular body.

“My...ribs...”

“Oh, sorry, what is that?” To make matters worse, his fingers tickled your sides, provoking a fit of desperate giggles to escape your mouth. “I’m not hearing an apology.”

“Sorry! Sorry!” His hands finally stopped, giving you time to breathe. Nonetheless, he remained laid on your chest, using his forearms to lift his weight. “Aren’t you gonna shower?”

“I like you.”

The confession was so sudden, so raw it took you some time to finally react. But you had no words to give him an answer, instead, you combed your fingers through his long hair, massaging his scalp while waiting for him to speak up again.

“I never thought I'd be feeling more than friendly affection for you. Our agreement doesn't include love, after all. But I've started feeling like a teenager all over again. I can't help but get excited whenever you call me. Do you know how sweet your voice sounds through the phone?” He sighed, discouraged at your lack of response. “I guess you're not there yet.”

Instead of verbally answering, you planted a sweet kiss on his head, right where small, grey hairs had started growing.

“I’m not good with words.”

“That’s alright.” He snuck his hands under your back, holding you tightly as a sudden need to nurture you took over him. The mature image he had of you faded in less than a second, leaving behind a young, troubled woman. “I’ll shower quickly so we can go see your pops. I bet we’ll get along just fine, maybe even go golfing when he wakes up.”

“I forgot you're almost the same age. Creepy.” He smiled, though uneasiness started steering in his guts.

“Does that bother you?” He asked without giving it a second thought.

“I don't know yet.”

(...)

The man with high cheekbones and bruised skin laid limp on the hospital bed. Yoonoh had been working on his case for about a month, yet, it only started feeling real the moment he entered the room.

“This is my dad.” All emotions had escaped your eyes as if your soul wasn't there anymore. Only an empty shell.

“You look so much like him.” he was afraid touching you wouldn't be the right thing to do, so instead, he said: “He seems like a suitable golf buddy.”

Tension finally loosened its grip around his body as you snorted, pigment returning to your cheeks. Finally, he wrapped his hand around yours.

“He will wake up, y/n.”

“He’s taking his sweet time.” You glanced back at the laying figure, skinnier with every day he spent asleep. “I want someone to pay for taking away the last person that loved me.”

The last person that loved you. Would Yoonoh be able to fill that spot? Not yet, probably. He couldn't modify the depth of his feelings, but he could surely give you the vengeance you longed.

“Do you trust me?” With your eyes still glued to your father, you nodded. “Then I can assure you we’ll win the case.”

“I know we will.”

He sat silently with you, holding your hand without saying a word. The smell of alcohol and the beeping noise of machines made him nauseous. He hated hospitals. You noticed the change in his demeanor, his hand becoming cold while holding yours with strength.

“Do you wanna go?”

“No!” He smiled through the pain, scooting his chair closer to lay your hand on his lap.

He wouldn't agree to get his ass off the plastic chair. You had to tell him you were hungry for him to finally stand up, still clutching your hand like your father did when you were still a kid. His parental behavior caused several emotions to stir inside your guts, so mixed up you couldn't quite put a finger on any of them.

“What do you want to eat?” The tension finally left his body once out of the building.

“Soup.” You smiled while swiping your thumb on top of his knuckles. “I know a place, but to be honest, it isn't good. So we can go to the store and get the ingredients to- but you can't cook.”

“I’m up for a cooking lesson if you are.” He wanted to see your pretty smile again. Maybe making a fool of himself would help. “Let’s hit the road.”

“Wow, so cool.”

“I know.”

(...)

“Can you grab that can of chicken broth?” You pointed at the high shelf, letting go of Yoonoh’s hand to allow him to move freely

“I have a better idea.” He dragged you by the arm so you were standing in front of him, trapped between his body and the shelf. “I’ll lift you so you can reach it.” Matching his words, his hands grasped your waist, ready to carry you.

“Stop!” You slapped his hands repeatedly between giggles. Ignoring your complaints, he started lifting you. “Yoonoh!”

“Yoonoh?” A feminine voice had him placing you back on your feet in less than a second.

“Seryeong, I didn't expect to see you here.” His hands remained seated on the curve of your waist.

“Neither did I. I was surprised when Sungchan told me you'd left early yesterday.” She seemed a bit older than you but still younger than the man behind you.

“I had some matters to take care of.” She eyed you from head to toes with a smug grin plastered on her lips. Just by the look of her clothes, you could tell she was as wealthy as Yoonoh. You feared the scene would turn into a tv worthy drama.

“I’ll go get the chicken breast.” You tried escaping his grip, only to be pulled closer to his warmth.

“No need to. It's already inside the cart.”

Why am I so dumb?

“Does your father know about your little girlfriend?” She asked without hesitation.

“I guess.”

“And why didn't he tell me anything?” She cocked an eyebrow, his hands finally loosening around your body and allowing you to move from your position.

“Look, this is something you should talk about with him. Now, if you excuse us...” With a hand on your shoulder, he began pushing the cart to the next aisle, the chicken broth long forgotten.

“Is this some kind of arranged marriage situation?”

“Something like that.” His hands were tense while holding the cart, knuckles turning white from the strength used. “Before you start asking, I'm not really in the mood and I don't want to direct my bad mood toward you. Let's talk about something else, alright?”

Who was that woman that had the power to turn him into a literal raging ball of fire with just a few words?

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 5)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 3.2k

warnings: more smut (we’re picking right up where we left off last chapter) including some shower shenanigans and lots of dirty talk, relationship conversations, mention of bucky’s military background, really that’s just it...

Maybe it had been hours in Bucky's arms, maybe it had been a lifetime.  You were floating on air, suspended in pleasure as he rocked your body against his, still fucking you even though he'd already come once and you'd come too many times to count.

"Bucky," you whined, back arching even though you figured you were too weak for that.  "Baby, please— s-so good, you're so good…"

Metal fingers pinching your nipple sent your body into overdrive, exhausted inner muscles clenching around him as you cried out.

When he leaned down and kissed you again, you were afraid that you'd be too out of it to kiss him back.  But thankfully you managed to reciprocate, grabbing the hair at the back of his neck to hold him close as you whimpered softly against his lips.

He pulled back just enough to look down at you with dark, half-lidded eyes.  "Fuck, I'm gonna come again," he moaned like he was just as shocked as you were.  

"Yes!" you encouraged feverishly.

"This perfect little pussy is gonna make me come again, baby, is that what you want?  Want me to put another load in this needy cunt?"

"God, yes," you sobbed, his words so perfectly balanced between sweet and filthy.

"Well, I'm gonna," he promised through his teeth.  "Fuck, I'm gonna give you everything, pretty girl, I'm so close."

You couldn't remember the exact words you used but you were definitely begging him for it, completely lost in your need and, apparently, totally lacking in shame.

That weak, broken, desperate moan as he came inside you for the second time in a night… you wanted to bottle it up and keep it for rainy days, and sunny days, and all the days you'd ever see because it was just absolutely fucking divine.

"Don't move," he demanded with a whisper, "fuck, don't move, please."

"Couldn't if I wanted to," you laughed quietly.  He started laughing too, but not so much a 'this is funny' laugh compared to a 'is this real?' laugh.

"Fuck," he breathed, "that was… I didn't know I could do that."

"We're all learning new things about ourselves and our body's capabilities tonight, trust me."

"I'm gonna attempt to pull out without my dick falling off, okay?"

You chuckled through your exhaustion.  "Fingers crossed!"

You couldn't decide which was more lewd: the way it felt, or the way it looked.  In credit to the first, you were confident that even through the numbness that had begun to spread through your body, you still managed to feel every detail of his cock against the spongy ridges of your channel as it slid out of you, followed (of course) by the warm, slow ooze of come dripping down onto your sheets.  As for the second, well, his cock looked pretty glorious as it bounced back up against his abs, incredibly still hard but certainly starting to soften, glistening with your slick and his come and looking so lovely that you were compelled to sit up and lick it clean.  You would've if you weren't (1) so exhausted that you were sure you'd never sit up ever again, and (2) confident that any more stimulation to Bucky's poor cock would just be painful for him.

"Jesus fuck," he sighed as he watched his come leak out of your abused, swollen hole, admiring his handiwork; you giggled from both the odd feeling of his gaze on you like this and the comical way his swearing had deteriorated over the course of the night into half-assed blasphemy.

He fell down beside you on the bed, looking up at the ceiling before glancing to you with a smirk that was clearly tired but still plenty smug.  “God, I haven’t come twice in a row like that since… I don’t know if I’ve ever done that before, actually,” he laughed.

“I know for a fact I’ve never come that many times in a row,” you giggled.

"I uh… I need a shower.  And a year-long nap," he announced with a deep sigh.

"Use mine," you offered.  "I'll join you in a minute if you can promise to keep your hands to yourself."

"I don't know about that," he chuckled, "but I can definitely promise to keep my dick to myself."

"That'll do," you smiled as you watched him stretch and get up, grabbing his discarded boxers before slipping into your bathroom.

You took another deep breath and fought against the giddy smile that refused to leave your face.  Though you knew you had no right to be so happy over something as silly and frivolous as a guy, you let yourself get excited about this guy.  This guy who had made you feel safe when you thought you never would again.  This guy who had been a friend to you when it seemed like everyone else just wanted to get close to an alleged celebrity.  This guy who had already given it to you better than anybody ever had only to do it again without even stopping.

As likely as it was that your infatuation with him was preventing you from seeing all the flaws that every person and relationship were bound to have, it was hard not to think that this guy was everything you’d been waiting for.  Now all you had to do was try not to fuck it up.

//

Bucky sighed as he stepped into the stream of hot water, careful not to slip as his tired legs begged for more rest.  It was a hell of a workout, but then again, he'd never felt quite this good after a real workout.

It was all a little too good to be true; he was sort of assuming that he would wake up any minute now, in his own bed downstairs and with a mess in his boxers to take care of.  And he wasn't even mad about it, because who could be mad about a dream this wonderful?

If he was going to wake up soon, he was going to take advantage of the time he had left in his dream.  After a few moments alone, you slipped into the bathroom and opened the glass shower door, looking like everything he'd ever wanted with your messy hair and post-sex glow.

"Don't hog the hot water," you groaned as you pushed him aside, but you were smiling a little and he was perfectly content to just watch you from the corner anyways.

Well, not just watching; of course he had to reach out and run his hands over your skin, feel the warmth of you pressed against his body as your eyes fluttered shut and your head fell back against his chest.  You hummed contentedly at his touch and the sound went straight to his cock, which swelled a bit where it was pressed against your hip.

You reached up and wrapped your hands around the back of his neck, his hands moving up to gently run over your breasts and stomach where the water was hitting.

He hesitantly ventured into kissing your neck before finally sliding his hand between your legs and grinning at the feeling of his own come leaking out of you.  You were so sensitive that you gasped and shivered just from that little touch, your little moans enough to drive him absolutely crazy (if he hadn't been already).

Two fingers slid into you easily; he decided to take credit for stretching you out so well, both of you sighing as he pushed in deeper.

"Bucky," you groaned, "can't… can't come again…"

"I'm just helping you wash all this come outta you, baby," he explained, though he was sure you heard the mischievousness in his tone.  "There's a lot… I filled you up real good, didn't I?"

You nodded and bit your lip, and he alternated between studying your face and looking down at his fingers slowly pulling out of you as the shower washed away his come and yours.

"I don't think this is all me," he whispered against your ear.  "I think you're getting wet again, princess…"

When you nodded again, your hips bucking slightly in his hand, he went ahead and brought his two slickened fingers to your swollen bud, drawing lazy circles around it as you moaned slowly.

"What're you getting wet for, huh?  Haven't you had enough?"

"Never get enough of you," you whimpered, as if you just magically knew the exact thing to say in that moment to make his cock twitch and his heart twist.  

"I'll be real gentle, honey, gonna take you there nice an' easy…" he trailed off, adding a bit more pressure but maintaining his relaxed pace.  You whimpered and writhed against him, your smooth skin sliding against his so easily with the water washing over both of you.  

He could feel your walls tightening around his fingers when he pushed inside again, smiling when you gasped and clutched his hair suddenly.  He figured you were sore, but he also figured you would stop him if he hurt you, so he just did his best to stay slow and sensitive as he found your swollen spot inside you and curled his fingers into it.  Your whispered curses were music to his ears; technically that would make your body his instrument, and that might be cliche but it wasn’t exactly untrue.

“Want a little more?” he asked below his breath, responding to your nod by rubbing your clit with his thumb.  Your back arched, and as beautiful as it was, it also caused your body to push away from his; he held you down with his free arm to avoid spending even a moment without you against him.

“C-close,” you stuttered, and he hoped the little chuckle he let out didn’t sound too condescending; just shocked, like he intended it,

“I thought you couldn’t come again,” he remembered, fighting his smirk to kiss your neck gently.

“I thought so too,” you sighed, your hips rocking against his hand as your breathing picked up.  “Fuck, don’t stop…”

It was subtle, but he felt you shudder and shake in his grasp, a new wave of warmth soaking his fingers.  He was careful not to let the water wash your come away as he brought the soaked fingers to his lips, eagerly tasting you as you watched him with heavy eyes.  “Want a taste?” he offered, but when you went for his fingers he kissed you instead, revelling in the little hum of satisfaction you released when you tasted yourself on his tongue.

It was you that pulled him closer and deepened the kiss further, weaving your fingers into his hair and moaning a little when he grabbed your waist.

“I should’ve known showering with you wasn’t going to actually be a productive bathing experience,” you laughed when you pulled back, noticeably staring at the way water droplets trickled down his chest.  

“Fine, I’ll let you actually do your whole shower thing,” he relented, “as long as I can borrow your shampoo.”

“Sure, but you’re gonna smell fruity and delicious afterwards,” you warned.

He chuckled a little as he leaned back into the stream of hot water to wet his hair.  “Don’t I already?”

//

You’d never had such an easy time falling asleep in someone’s arms, honestly.  It was so comfortable that you were actually a bit confused when you woke up alone, already pampered by the idea of spending the morning cuddled up with him.  Thankfully, with him living here most days, he was never too far off; you heard movement downstairs and realized he was probably making breakfast for himself since he was one of those natural early risers while you had dozed until— you glanced at the clock to check— 9:53, later than usual for a night you hadn’t been drinking.

Well, Bucky had taken the empty beer bottles from your nightstand for you, but you still remembered that you’d been drinking a little.  Yet certainly most of one beer couldn’t be to blame for you making a move on him; no, that was a purely sober idea, something you’d wanted to do for quite some time, in fact.

Perhaps it was a little misguided.  Maybe it was technically an inappropriate workplace relationship since you were, in a sense, his boss.  But, of every impulsive decision you’d ever made it was definitely your personal favorite.

Hopping up and slipping on a little flowy robe just to not be naked anymore, you rushed downstairs and found Bucky in the kitchen flipping a pancake in the pan.  He glanced back at you, looking a little conflicted, before you observed the plate of assorted fruit waiting for you on the bar.

“Wow, pancakes,” you nodded.

“And fruit,” he reminded you, like you weren’t already munching on a slice of a clementine.  “So it’s healthy.”

“Is this a taste of the ‘Bucky Barnes Boyfriend Experience’?” you chuckled, picking up a grape to eat next.  “Cause so far I’m a fan.”

Bucky’s head whipped around to look back at you, and your face got warm as you realized you'd been assuming that this was a 'getting together' sort of rendezvous and not just a one-night stand.  And maybe that wasn't a fair assumption, based on the way he was blinking back at you in shock.  “Orrrr maybe this is just the ‘Me Misinterpreting Things Experience’ and you just like to use some culinary comfort to soften the blow of the ‘about last night’ talk.”

"No, no," he shook his head, sighing a bit as his expression softened.  “I guess I kind of assumed you were going to regret it."

“Regret… last night?” you finished for him, thoroughly befuddled as you watched him flip the pancake onto a plate which he handed to you.

“Uh, yeah,” he scoffed, like it was obvious, before handing you the container of maple syrup.

“Why?”

“Well,” he shrugged, “‘cause it’s you, and it’s me.  You’re a movie star and I’m the guy who drives your car.  You were having a fun night, you got… caught up in the moment, and I was just in the right place at the right time.”

You took a moment to process that as you chewed your pancake, thankfully managing to swallow the bite before you burst out laughing.  “Oh my god, is that— is that really how you thought this was gonna go down?  After everything that happened last night?”

“Yeah, these aren’t morning-after pancakes, these are please-forgive-me pancakes,” he admitted as he poured another dollop of batter into the pan.  “Can’t you taste the difference?”

"Wait, wait,” you shook your head incredulously, “you thought I was gonna regret sleeping with you, and you still went through with it?"

He laughed a bit at that.  "You were grinding on me and sucking on my fingers.  You must think I'm a saint if you think I could resist that."

“And this was supposed to be your apology… for taking advantage of me…” you tried to reason aloud, still not totally understanding how he could ever question that you would want him.

He shrugged.  "I mean, I dunno… I was prepared to get fired today so you wouldn't have to see me around.  So I guess it was sort of a goodbye, too."

"Was it worth it?  I mean… was the sex worth losing your job?" you asked.  “Hypothetically.”

"Worth losing the paycheck?  Definitely,” he announced, quiet but confident.  “But worth not seeing you again?  No, I don't think so.  When you came down here I was just thinking about how I'd rather keep you as a friend than lose you as a lover."

"That's… poetic," you mumbled.  "Luckily, you don't have to choose.  I fully intend on keeping you around.  If you don't mind."

"Why would I possibly mind that?" he laughed.

“I guess I just feel guilty because if the press finds out you’re my boyfriend, they’ll be all over you.  Your past, your family, any ex-girlfriends…”

His lack of a response made you anxious again.

“Wait, I’m sorry, this conversation is sort of confusing: are you my boyfriend?” you asked nervously.  He laughed, flipping the pancake before looking back at you with a smirk.

“If you want me to be.”

“Yeah,” you answered, perhaps a bit too eagerly, “I do.  If you’re… into that.”

“I am,” he assured.  

“Think of it like a promotion!” you offered with a grin.

“Trust me, I do,” he nodded.  “Does this position come with a raise?”

“No, but a lot more benefits,” you winked.  “And, unfortunately, a lot more baggage.”

“Right, the press.  You really think they’re gonna care?” he raised an eyebrow.

You laughed sympathetically at his innocence.  “Oh my god, you have no idea.  From now on, when we leave the house it’s strictly business— anything else and they’ll be on you like white on rice.”

“Well then we’re not gonna be leaving the house much,” he snickered, “because now that I’ve got my hands on you once, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay away.”

You smiled as he started to lean over the bar to kiss you, but when he moved in just close enough you held up a piece of fruit in front of your mouth, which he took a bite out of instead.  “Slow your roll, Romeo, I’m trying to have an important conversation and you’re trying to distract me.”

“Was it that obvious?” he frowned, sliding another golden brown pancake onto a plate for himself and turning off the stove.

“What I’m trying to tell you is that this is serious stuff.  It’s not too hard to keep it a secret for a while but… it’s just a disclaimer before you agree to anything.”

“Do you give all your potential boyfriends this talk, then?” he asked coyly.

“Well, since I got big I’ve really only dated one guy and he was even more famous than me so... no,” you answered awkwardly.

“Oh, right,” he nodded, getting a little more serious.  “What was it you said they were going to investigate, again?  My past, my family, my ex-girlfriends,” he remembered.

“Yup,” you nodded.  “And any, you know, criminal convictions or whatever.”

“Well, none of those, not much family, barely any ex-girlfriends,” he enumerated, “but a lot of past.”

You solemnly contemplated eating another grape, hoping you had managed to maintain some nonchalance.  “How bad are we talking?”

“Not bad, necessarily,” he mitigated, stopping mid-sentence to grab the pancake with his hand and eat it straight, “but, you know… military.  So not exactly good.”

“Didn’t blow up any orphanages, right?”

“No, not quite,” he laughed, “but I wasn’t a conscientious objector, either.”

“Okay, just keep in mind they’re going to scrutinize everything you ever were before you were my boyfriend,” you informed him.

“‘Your boyfriend’ is the most important thing I’ve ever been.”

The comment took you aback— mostly in a good way, but you weren’t prepared for him to get sentimental like that.  You especially weren’t prepared for the effect it would have on you.  So you, being you, deflected it with a sudden topic change and a raunchy joke.

“Jeez, are you a sadist or something?  ‘Cause I can’t hardly sit in this chair properly, I’m so sore,” you winced.  

“That,” he announced with a grin, pointing at you with the half-eaten pancake in his hand for emphasis, “is the ‘Bucky Barnes Boyfriend Experience.’”

[hyperfixation-hideout]

I saw another person today talk about how Oscar who many just saw as a tag along character said that Oscar had the best development out of almost all the Rwby character in the main cast have had in 3 volume he all so said that he wish we got see more of Oscar in volume 6 be caz that's when his set up really got started and if we had got his real set up then like we have now he be more loved in the fandom like other characters are and if it wasn't for anti's who hate on ships and and Rwby re writes that take Oscar agency away from him he knows he would be one of the top popular characters

I'm happy more people are see how amazing Oscar is he is best boy after all

Oh, interesting! I'd love to see that post or wherever you saw that if you still have it :D

I don't know how I'd rank the development of each character, but I fully agree seeing more of Oscar in volume 6 would've gone a LONG way! He didn't even really need much more screentime, just slightly rearranged.

One thing that always beds my bugs is how the plotline of Oscar going missing went. I won't get too into detail, but having Jaune attack Oscar, no one ask if he's okay (only asking if JAUNE's gonna be okay), him running away for an episode, only to have us never see where he went or what he did or how he worked through the crisis he'd been having and the narrative had been building all volume, only to have him show up at the end with new clothes, a speech, a casserole, and a dismissal of Jaune's apology with "no, it's okay"... was more than a little frustrating to me. The pivotal point of Oscar's arc for the volume (and a pivotal point of his entire character) was resolved offscreen with no explanation. Just one scene would've been enough to make that arc really shine, but because it jumped from buildup to aftermath, it doesn't hit as hard as it could've, cause it really was set up well!

And I think y'all're right, first impressions are HUGE, and a lot of people's initial opinion of Oscar was suboptimal because they didn't feel they understood his character as much as his situation, and he was often in scenes just so Oz could exposit. I latched onto him early on, and because of that I noticed a lot of things about him that gave me a sense of his character, but a lot of them are kinda background so I don't blame anyone for missing it or not seeing it as significant enough to constitute character depth. It could've been introduced more effectively.

But NOW!!! I'm SO glad I keep seeing people both in the fndm and among critics praising Oscar's writing, because it HAS gotten so much better! The Atlas arc really let him shine, gave us more depth, a bit of background, exploration of the feelings he's been having beneath the surface, and a ton of development both as his own character and alongside the increasingly fascinating merge plotline. AND we're seeing how he affects other characters. I'll admit I didn't initially see the dojo scene as Ruby being helped by Oscar in turn, cause I was a super casual one-time viewer then. But now in context of his current actions, I see it. The patterns in his character and interactions are surprisingly consistent and keep getting clearer!

His scenes were some of the best-written in the Atlas arc, and I am thrilled to see where they take his character next :D

unless it's more torture

[miss-smutty]

Brothers - Chapter 11

Unforgiven

Summary- You're hit with the bombshell of Chris coming home after a month away and after he left you questioning everything, completely heartbroken. How were you meant to confront him after so long?

Word count- 2K

Pairing- Chris Hems x reader

Warnings- Swearing, a smidgen of violence

18+ only!

Posted: 3rd August 2021

Taglist:- @everything-is-awesomesauce @nicolemt23 @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires

Brothers Masterlist <<<

You haven't felt like this about anyone for a very long time and Chris has just made your fear of rejection all too real. You couldn't help the way you felt about him though, still feel about him. You love him and he'd told you he loved you, you'd felt it when he'd said it, you'd seen the look in his eye. So why were you even questioning it? 

In the morning you finally felt the courage to check your phone - Liam had stayed with you all night until you'd calmed down enough to go to bed when the sun had rised and you were no longer taunted by your demons in the dark.

There's multiple text messages and missed calls filling up the screen of your phone. 

I'm sorry I had to leave like that, are you ok? Xx

Read the first one. Your eyes scanned over the rest, mostly saying the same thing.

Y/N please answer. Let me explain myself. I didn't have time to speak to Liam about it all right then and I didn't want to leave on a bombshell.

His excuses made you feel sick to your stomach. You could understand why he did it but there were much better ways for him to go about it that wouldn't have left you feeling heartbroken.

You sighed heavily, putting your phone back onto your bedside table a little bit too forcibly and sinking back into your feather pillows. If you gave in to your impulses you would've text him back straight away but knowing deep down that would be the wrong thing to do, you restrained yourself. It took willpower but you just about managed, he'd made you feel like shit there was no way you were going to forgive him so easily.

*********

As the weeks passed by it became more and more difficult to ignore Chris, he wasn't giving up without a fight which admittedly made you feel a little bit better. You'd ignored him for so long it had become a habit and the fact he wasn't giving in told you he definitely did care about you but he'd made a major mistake and you were going to make him pay.

"Have you spoke to Chris yet?" Liam asked you over lunch. 

"Nope." A sly smile played on your lips, you were kind of enjoying making Chris sweat but you'd never admit it.

"Maybe you should, he's been blowing my phone up trying to get in contact with you. You do know he's coming home this week?"

"What? You stopped with your fork in front of your lips, eyes wide. "No I did not know that, has it been a month already?"

"Uh-huh, and its gonna be massively fucking awkward for me if you two are still arguing." 

"We're not arguing..." You brush your hair behind your ear, sitting up straight in your chair. " We're not even speaking." 

The thought of Chris coming home fills you with dread and excitement all at the same time. You're so excited to see his face and yet dreading the thought of having to deal with your problems.

"When will he be home?" You ask, trying to be casual.

"I don't know, he just said this week. I haven't exactly been speaking to him myself, I'm still pissed off with him."

"And you didn't think to ask what day?.and why are you pissed off? He didn't do anything to you." Your voice was a little too high, it always was when you panicked. Chris could come home at any minute and you weren't mentally prepared for it.

"No, but don't you think him hurting you effects me? You've had a face like a slapped ass for a month for a start and if you want to know so badly why don't you call him?" Liam raised his eyebrows at you, unamused at the whole messenger thing he had going on.

"Pfft, I can't." You push your bowl of food away, suddenly not very hungry anymore. "It's been so long I wouldn't even know what to say." 

"Your drama is honestly making me go grey." Liam runs his hand through his hair, looking at you with raised eyebrows.

"I think you'd look pretty good as a silver fox." You tease.

"I would but still, please sort it out." He gives you the glare. "Anyway, I'm going to have a little get together tonight. You up for it?" 

"A get together or a party?" 

"Well you know how it usually goes, it starts off as a get together but usually turns in to a party." 

"Exactly, well I'm off out with the girls so we'll be there later." 

You finished up your meals, Liam refusing for you to pay as usual, he was such a gentleman, you really wish his brother was a little bit more like him in that way. 

*********

You help Liam greet his guests, smiling and mingling as you go. The ratio of women to men doesn't suprise you one bit, Liam was newly single after all but you roll your eyes anyway after leading yet another group of girls through to the living room.

You watched Liam greeting the girls with the most genuine smile on his face than you'd seen in a while, he was happy, finally and it brought you great pleasure.

Your heart stops beating when you hear Chris's distinctive Australian accent carry above the noise in the room, you can feel his eyes burning into your back as you turn around to find him. Your tummy fluttering when your eyes meet, unable to hide how much you've actually missed him from your face. He smiles sheepishly at you making your tummy somersault, excusing himself politely from the group of girls that had circled around him and making his way over to you, when Liam steps in his way, blocking his path.

"I don't want to make a scene here but you've got some serious explaining to do." Liam says sternly.

"I know... I... I wasn't honest with you before I left." 

"That's putting it lightly. Y/N told me everything." You watched the exchange between the brothers, your nerves going into overdrive. You could hear Liam's friend talking to you but you weren't focusing on him, his words just a distant noise, your attention solely on the brothers. Brothers who looked like they were about to fight. Because of you.

"What are you, her bodyguard? If there's anyone I need to answer to it's Y/N, are you gunna let me past?" You watched as Chris' jaw tensed, the muscles in his neck becoming more prominent and you knew things were getting heated.

"If you're gunna treat her like shit Chris then yeah I am, the manly thing to do was come clean. It was a pussy move and you know it." People were starting to watch and your cheeks were burning but you were routed to the spot. Unable to move all you could do was stare blankly.

"Are you calling me a pussy?"

"Yeah, I'm calling you a fucking pussy." Liam shoved Chris square in his chest, he barely moved but his jaw clenched together, the tendons in his neck straining with rage.

Why, why, why were you stood watching this and not doing something about it? Your two favourite people in the whole world were about to fight each other and you're stood watching like it's a fucking soap opera.

You could see Chris thinking, debating about what he should do. Should he give his brother a free pass - he did deserve it, or should he fight back - he'd already called him a pussy he didn't want people actually believing it. 

He decided to let it go, moving past him to get to you when Liam shoved him again, this time he wasn't expecting it and almost fell over, recovered himself and then went for Liam. Your mouth hung open, your legs started moving before you registered what was happening.

"Stop! Please stop!" You screamed, Liam's friends coming to the rescue and holding them both back. Tears in your eyes at the thought of them fighting each other

You looked up at Liam's friend holding Chris back. "It's ok, I've got him." You took Chris by the hand, leading him away from Liam, weaving through the crowd that had gathered, pissed off that they'd caused such a scene in public but you needed to get them away from each other so they could both calm down.

Chris walked into your room and you closed the door behind him, resting your head against it for a minute.

"What the fuck was that?" You question, turning around to face him.

"Don't ask me, what exactly did you say to Liam while I was gone?" 

"Are you really trying to blame me? I told him the truth Chris, like you should've done." He hung his head in shame. His elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Yeah I know but let me explain."

"I haven't got time for it now." You start shuffling through your wardrobe. "I need to get ready." You say with your back to him.

"Ready for what?"

"I'm going out with the girls." You turn around slowly, looking at him, taking him all in. You've missed him so much, why does he have to be so damn attractive.

Then he gives you that sexy smile and your knees almost cave but you remind yourself of the things he said, willing yourself to stay angry with him.

"Do you have to go? I've only just got back." You start going through your wardrobe, if you had your back to him you could distract yourself from the heavy sexual tension between you. The need to run up to him and wrap you legs around him, telling him all was forgiven while you kissed every inch of his damn fine body. 

"Yeah I'm going. You don't get to treat me like that and then just come back and act like nothings happened." 

"Y/N can you please stop being so stupid, this is ridiculous." He said sitting down on the end of your bed with his head in his hands.

"I'm being stupid? Are you for real?" You take off your clothes until you're left in just your underwear, turning around to look at him with your hands on your hips.

"Ok sorry that was the wrong thing to say, I've been trying to speak to you every day for a month. Did you not miss me?" He looks up, his eyes widening when he sees you in your underwear.

"You're always saying the wrong thing aren't you?" Now can you leave, I need to get ready and I want to do it in peace." You point to the door, your hand falling limply by your side when you watch Chris licking his lips, his eyes focusing everywhere but your face.

"Do you have to go? I think I can find a way of making you forgive me." 

"You can't just fuck your way outta this one Chris, I'm not a toy for you to do as you please with." 

"You're so hot when you're angry... I'm really trying not to fuck you senseless right now." He bites on his fist watching your anger falter.

"We're just friends aren't we?" You say rather bitterly

"We're not just friends and you fucking know it, friends don't do this shit -" he says as he moves in front of you, his hands wrapping around you and resting on your plump cheeks. "I told you I loved you and I fucking meant it. Can we please forget what I said? I didn't think about it until after I'd said it and I tried to call you straight away to apologize."

"Do what?" You reply trying to keep your calm as his hands electrify your body.

He cups your ass and lifts you into his arms, you instinctively wrap your legs around his hard torso. He lays you back onto the bed and kisses you deep, his tongue desperately finding yours as he thrusts his bulge into your tingling pussy. Your body betrays you as you let out a low moan, you feel him groan from deep inside as his prehistoric nature takes over.

"That." he says breathlessly.

"I'm still going out tonight but I'll be back later." You say between him kissing down your neck, savouring every last inch of your taste. "You can think about how you can make it up to me while I'm gone and before that you better go grovel to Liam, I think he's even more pissed off than me."

"Oh baby, you're not even going to know your own name by the time I'm finished with you never mind anything else." 

"This doesn't mean you're forgiven, this means I'm giving you a chance."