#health is the worst its ever been | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chlotual · 5 months

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so tired of the obsession w thinness n it being seen as the ideal body type….its all so boringgggg YAWNNN

#im not good w words but idk it’s starting to annoy me #like ive seen so many stories of ppl losing weight bcs of a health issue n being treated better just cuz they’re thin now. even if their #health is the worst its ever been #its genuinely so messed up 😭 u cld be so unhealthy but it doesn’t matter as long as ur thin 😁 bcs thats the only fucking thing that matters #😁😁😁 i hate it here #.post

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lynxgirlpaws · 4 months

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i hat ehow constantly angry i have been recently. like. minor inconveniences piss me off to tremendous extents. I got a little bit of water on my shirt and pants and actually growled out loud. people will message me with nothing but the best intentions and I will for some reason get comically stressed and irritated over it. my cat keeps yelling at me and nothing i do helps and i get so close to yelling and it upsets me. literally no fucking clue why this is. it is. infuriating. which only makes the constantly angry problem worse.

#avierant #avie has three moods #“Fuck you I hate you go away I hate everyone”#“Please Please Please Please come talk to me Please I need you I need attention Please”#“Nothing is wrong and nothing has ever been wrong what are you talking about”#I have been cycling between these three for. well i'd say weeks but actually m. wlel i'dsay months but actually years #ughi have #i have had such normal mental health lately #[it has been some of its worst I can recall]#no i will not talk about it go fuck yourself #i have a vic2 to go edit

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bionicboxes · 3 months

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art done for a sibling's soul-link.

#box art #i promised them i would draw art of this duo so here we are #pokemon #ironically sunflora and pikachu were linked and were what won the levincia gym for their teams #sunflora won the violet half of the levincia gym apparently. i didnt get to watch that one lol. but it was deathless.#pikachu won the scarlet half of the levincia gym.. at a cost.#she died to a crit at full hp :(#the mismagius was at +5sp.atk and pikachu was at +6 sp.def #so anything but a crit wouldn't have killed. it wouldn't have even been close.#and the mismagius was confused! maybe paralyzed too i dont remember #PLUS they had tried to stall out all of mismagius's attacking moves.#mismagius got a crit through confusion with possibly its LAST attacking pp and killed pikachu who was at full health.#it was devastating. mismagius was ONE hit from death.#Quaxly was able to finish it off with a priority move. but it was heartbreaking #there's so many factors that made it The Worst that i cannot explain.#watching this battle unfold single handedly made it so i will Never like Iono Ever #anyway. sunchu my beloveds.

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queeranddepraved · 8 months

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So your dom or sir "per se" must be either king or ryan. Those are the only two other who like so much of your personal stuff.

Is it really that important to you, anon? Do you really need to know the details of the "relationship" I have with every person I talk to on here? Every person I do slutty things for on here?

If you must know, yes, the Sir I referenced in the picture I posted of my ass is theblindking94. We talk a lot, I do slutty things for him, he's a great guy, and I'm really glad I convinced him to join the dark side (come back to tumblr from reddit 😅). He also thinks it's hilarious that you so desperately need to know any of this.

Ryan is a friend and mutual who probably doesn't wanna be dragged into this weird, jealous nonsense. Leave him be.

Not sure if you're jealous or just really freaking nosey.

Either way, gonna remind everyone that I talk to lots of people on here. I've been on this site for over 10 years. I've been slutting it up on here for at least that long. I've talked to soooo many people. I have people i started talking to in 2015 who I still talk to from here. Like I'm gonna be a slut, I'm gonna talk to a variety of people, and if I wanna "publicly" (on my blog) do something for someone on here, like Sir, then I'll do it, and I'd prefer to do it without jealous anons worrying about who my "dom" is.

Also, to be clear, I deeply appreciate the relationship I have with my 2 mains (Sir ❤️and Dad 🩷) and other people on here as well, but...

No one owns me.

No one.

Not a single person I've ever talked to owns me in the way it feels like you're implying by saying dom or sir and trying to figure out who my "dom" is.

I'm not owned. This isn't an exclusive situation. I talk to as many or as few people as I want on here.

You jealous? You want to talk to me?

Then fucking do it.

But be interesting, be respectful of my boundaries, don't try to own me, and understand that sometimes I won't reply. Sometimes, I disappear for a bit. Sometimes, other people in my dms take priority. Sometimes, the vibe just isn't right. Sometimes, talking on here is meant to be more casual, and that's okay. Either be okay with these things or like go. Lol

Anyways, thank you, Sir, for letting me set the record straight for these silly jealous anons. ❤️

#also like this is the longest ive been consistently active on a blog without taking a break #and its solely because my mental health is the worst its ever been #so like???#just be glad im even on here #just be glad i let any of yall see my body #like do you know how lucky you are just to follow me?#im fucking great #act like it #anon #sir

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famewolf · 4 months

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all my old fav youtubers coming back this fall has gotten me into a mood where I've been diving back into old bands I used to listen to religiously. and i gotta say ... they all still slap

#[static]#not that i ever stopped listening to them much but ive been playing the entire album instead of just listening to favorites #so many memories tied to certain albums fkjghdf #i dont miss being a teen/in my early 20s at all life was so much harder and confusing and it was the height of my worst mental health years #but the world did feel simpler #the punk and emo scene fucked HARD in the early 2000s and 2010s #i hope we see a revival (and i feel like ive been seeing some new artists that hit that nostalgia in the right way)#i have been genuinely feeling Older recently and not in a bad way. its just funny to be in an age bracket that is a minority where i work #ppl are either way to old to know what im talking about or where literal babies when i was in school #i had to explain what camp was at work the other day and also they had no idea what rocky horror picture show was and me and the -#other gay millennial at work were losing our minds that people in their 20s hadnt heard of rocky horror #politely losing our minds of course like ... who cares if people dont know or do the things we did as young queers but also it -#- definitely made us feel older!#theyve also been playing a station that has all the music from my middle school and high school years ....#you know you're getting old when theres now a store radio station for it LOL they never play anything current

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heybinnie · 1 year

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You're not being rude and it's perfectly understandable to not wanting it to have been a suicide. I hoped for that too. But eunwoo's and mj's letter and mj's post today pretty much point to suicide, which is heart-rending. Mj said in his post that bin was worried about the team and members until the last moment, so I'm sure he left at least some kind of message to some people, but unfortunately a lot of times the idea that people leave a note is false. I've had people close to me that tried to commit suicide and there was no note or anything. What you're feeling is real and sad. Bin was an amazing person. It's ok to be sad and not okay, for as long as you need. I miss him too

And I'd encourage you to ignore the people that say those vile things. They don't know what they're talking about and they can't even begin to imagine how much he must've been suffering, all alone, to take such a drastic decision when we know he was such a loving person. If he wasn't t ihose closest to him wouldn't be suffering as they are right now.

thank you for being kind. life has had me in a chokehold so as ugly as it sounds, i havent had much time to be angry about it, but now im thinking about it again and its still baffling to me.

im so sorry to hear about your friends’ attempts and i genuinely hope theyre doing better now. youre right, not everyone leaves a note, and i think i was still trying to make sense of his passing all those weeks ago. not that its gotten any easier …… but i guess i shouldnt spend so much time wondering about the why of it even to myself. harsh as this sounds, it is what it is (i say as i still struggle to come to terms with it) and life continues onwards.

#i say this ………… but a song will come on and its him and i wonder all over again #i think it was just easier to accept his death if it was health related u know #and u know how some ppl have been saying that idols can save us but we cant save them? that was the worst thing ive ever had to digest #i hope it was peaceful #whatever the hell that means #but i still hope it was peaceful

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ttlmt · 5 months

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I hope you're doing well and everything is okay! <3

thank you nonnie <3

#honestly the last month has probably been my worst mental health wise in 4 years if not ever #i see the asks people are sending me and comments and stuff and i want to answer #im just currently digging myself out of a very deep hole as the semester wraps up #i wanna be back soon #i have so many dapg gifs to make im excited to hopefully have time to do them #hopefully people will still want them djksdgh #im so excited about everything dnp have been doing but its a lot on tumblr when im struggling #so ive mostly just been screaming at my friends #love yall very much #3 exams and 3 projects and 1.5 weeks to go

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hopefulyellowlamp · 1 year

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it really hurts to see the people i trusted and loved more than anything in the world just move on from me as if they never knew me

#lamp vents #aka my exfriend posted on tiktok and i havent unfollowed them yet...#and im still not over how he just... cut me out of his life with no warning #he was like 'yeah i get that youre autistic and has a panic disorder and a severe depression. but also all your symptons for these are unac #ceptable and i hate u' and not only cut me out of his life but also turned several other of my friends against me #like i cant get over the fact that they used moments where i was in distress and having panic attacks or severe sensory overload against me #as if i would have sensory overloads and panic attacks just to manipulate them or make THEM feel bad #jeez im sorry i didnt realize im not allowed to have emotions #i know i snap when im overwhelmed which is why i usually always would deafen/leave call on discord immediately and try to jreathe or calm #and somehow theyd still turn it to be avout them #i was trying my damnedest to be the best friend but jesus christ man they expected me to do SO MUCH when i had two panic disorders and so m #uch mental health issues #most of which i tried to explain to them... they were all neuro spicy ot mentally ill too so i thought theyd understand #i thought theyd at least not think the worst of me when all ive ever done is look up to them #the worst feeling ever is having someone i looked up to and wantef to be like so much it fucking hurt #say everything they hated about me after 4 or so years of friendship where i trusted them enough to tell them anything #it still makes me doubt myself #anytime someone writes to me about how we need to talk i immediately expect loads of pent up anger at me #i always expect my friends to finally be done with my bullshit and tell me theyre tired of me #ive always had doubts about wether or not im a good enough friend or not but lately its just been so much worse #and i keep getting so angry and frustrated because i still miss them and i still wanna try and make it up to them #even tho theyve made it clear they already made up their mind about me being the bad guy #i just feel so helpless and alone #i used to be able to go to him about all my problems but i guess he really saw that as bothersome... i did so much for him and for what #i spent so much time with him and i knew his parents and i knew his pets and i knew his routines #we CUDDLED while sleeping in the same bed multiple times we took naps together and i #i showed him my favourite childhood game #and he bottled up all his emotions until they spilled into hatred for me #for what? for nlthing. and then he teams up with another friend WHICH I INTRODUVED HIM TO #he fucking replaced me after all those nights of quick typing and crying and reassuring him that i loved him and would never replace him

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savethepinecones · 8 months

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idk im just real sick of waiting weeks to see if a new medication works for me and then having to start over when it doesnt. i havent been able to work in four months and ive changed meds like four times and i have to taper onto the one im on now which means i wont have the full dose for a month and even then theres no guarantee itll do much and i have so little energy and motivation that im actually out of clean clothes to wear but cant do laundry and im so fucking bored but i dont have the energy to do anything and i have to just wait until the new meds kick in and i hate this in between period and i hate that i have to go back to it every time i switch meds. i found a medication that worked really well but i also had really bad side effects so i had to go off it and i almost feel worse now because i caught a glimpse of like how my life could be if i could get this shit under control and now i have something to compare my current bullshit to and im just. tired. im feeling a little better today than i have since i started on the new meds so i think theyre finally starting to kick in but im so behind on chores and general life maintainance stuff that theres no way im gonna be able to catch up any time soon and the best ill be able to do today is like maybe do some laundry so i have pants i can leave the house in

#i think this is the worst my mental health has ever been #or at least the longest ive been in a slump #and if i push myself too hard it gets worse #but also if i dont push myself at all ill barely even be leaving my bed #and im used to just making myself ignore my limits and get shit done anyway (which is how i ended up this bad in the first place)#so im not used to recognizing when im pushing myself too hard #so its been really hard to find a balance #idk im rambly today i guess

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theygender · 2 years

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I'm doing it. I'm gonna get a fucking hysterectomy

#its something ive talked about half jokingly for years bc the idea of ever being pregnant or giving birth makes me INCREDIBLY dysphoric #so it seems completely fucking pointless to have to go through so much pain and sickness every month for absolutely no reason #this past month where i couldnt get my medication already had me seriously thinking about it tho #bc even if im managing my endometriosis okay with BC i dont want to have to worry about going through hell if i cant fill my prescription #i was looking into the side effects and etc bc i was thinking about asking my doctor about it next time i went in #and the only thing that had me concerned was that a full hysterectomy or oophorectomy sends you into menopause which seems like itd suck #(but smaller surgeries like tube ligations dont actually stop you from having periods)#BUT i was complaining about this at work and one of my coworkers told me she had a hysterectomy for endometriosis #and her doctor gave her a partial hysterectomy so it stops periods and prevents pregnancy but doesnt send you into menopause #and that sounds fucking GREAT honestly so i wanted to ask my doctor about it even more #but now that roe v wade has been overturned? the deal is sealed im getting this hell machine out of me one way or another #im hoping that my doctor will be understanding as a woman herself but if not my coworker said she'll give me her doctors info #and if THAT doesnt work. i just checked out r/childfree and theyve got a list of doctors in my area who are willing to help #i dont want to keep suffering through chronic illness symptoms every month for absolutely no reason #i dont want to run the risk of getting pregnant and having to live through my worst nightmare as someone with dysphoria #AND like my gf just pointed out to me. ive got other health issues that im trying to get sorted out #im chronically underweight and i either have pots or some kind of hypertension. plus a low immune system and etc etc etc #being forced to carry a pregnancy could fucking kill me for all i know. AND i would have to go off of a lot of my meds??#all this thing does is cause me chronic pain and put my already precarious physical and mental health at risk #im GETTING it fucking taken out #rambling #ive got an appointment with my therapist on tuesday and i think im gonna ask about getting an official diagnosis of gender dysphoria #and im already in the process of getting tested for pots with my primary care doctor #so hopefully those diagnoses combined with my endometriosis will help speed it along... 🙏

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kaserolly · 1 year

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I cried so much today and NGL I'm ready to cry again

#this day was just... bad. one of the worst ever #but tbh ive had such a bad week overall bnhghhfh #it hurts to see so many close ppl suffering... while i myself am hurting as well... i wanna help them i wanna heal them #idk i just feel like its my fault... like i made them suffer #its a stupid thought i know bghgghg but i cant help but believe it...#my parents are already stressed cuz of work and cuz of the health of my grandparents... and im starting to become one of their problems #i... havent been well these past few months. i cant say what exactly is going on gvggg but its getting worse abd worse #even if i tell myself that its fetting beyyer i know its a big lie hghhggg #im hurting others... heck i bet im hurting the one i love the most rn...#it hurts so much bbhghh i wish i could heal others i wish i wasnt a nuisance #im not ok i was never ok i jysr wish i can just stop i wish i was a happy and healthy and confident person #but ill never be one... ill always be a nuisance and i can never give people happiness and love...#im starting to cry rn huthhhbim so useless...#im sorry everyone... its my fault its always been my fault

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bromantically · 2 years

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people who dont know anything about all the horrible things that happen internally for u or all the things u go through without telling them will just say the most cruel shit ever

#kitty purrs #mom told me shes having a hard time listening to me talk about getting to hang with someone and go out to do things #bc she doesnt get to have it #bc shes too ill and drained and doesnt have friends #i havent fucking had this in 4 years!!!!!!!!!!#im at the worst point in my me tal health than ive literally ever been!#u have no clue! u have no clue! u dont know how horrible it is #wheres ur fucking sympathy. im sitting here going to bed every night with hprrible intrusive thoughts #and fantasizing about never waking up again #ive been so fucking alone for so long that its impacting my ability to FUNCTION!!!!!#just let me have this. fuck man #neg #vent

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surreal-duck · 1 year

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letting me live alone was a bad idea i think