#heeseung iland | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taeghi · 2 years

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𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 : part 3

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PAIRING ▸ lee heeseung x fem bodied!reader

SUMMARY ▸ heeseung makes progress towards isa becoming his girlfriend- until he doesn't and you wonder if he made it backfire on purpose.

WORD COUNT ▸ 10,956

GENRE ▸ enemies 2 lovers, angst, SMUT ; blowjob, almost? sex lol, masturbation

TAGLIST ▸ @rerequire @mymeloem19 @shadowsofthewild @defxciii @heejaykeluv @nikirikii @enhaluv22 @holybxba yedammi @lhsng @bamchanbin @nalwhare @i-dalso @jaeyunslut @laffatae @skzimaginesmainblog @kimmchijjajang @jays-blue @heesquared @hoon-lvr @hoonlv @axartia @bluesoobinnie @cyuuupid @eulaenthusiast @lalalalawon @bunhoons @enhasengene @blond4enha @pythonilyn @snowyseungs @soobnism @leviathanlee26 @moonlightgrleric @leefra98 @markleeisdabestdrug @heartkatemiddleton @snowyseungs @slut-4-jake @cloudednines @yizhoutv @missharubear @gobighee @lizdevorak @bbakuhoee @esuilinfoster @shiningdery

minors dni

HEESEUNG THOUGHT HIS AWFUL LUCK HAD TURNED AROUND WHEN HIS TEACHER ASSIGNED HIM AND LEE ISA TO CLEAN THE CLASSROOM TOGETHER.

heeseung had never thought he’d enjoy staying after school to clean the classroom. he knows that he’s going to be late to practice, but he could care less about how mad his coach will be when he finds out that not only was he late- that he was late because he came into class late that day.

heeseung describes himself as an honest man- and to be an honest man he must admit that he doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to school or his attendance (or girls) and it wasn’t new to him that his teacher punished him to clean the class once everyone was gone. usually, he’d play the practice card and his teacher would sigh but let him off- but today, when lee isa stepped foot into the classroom a minute late after him he seemed to have lost that card.

he thought it was unusual for good girl lee isa to be late to class- because she was never late for class. her attendance was perfect as well. heeseung thinks it’s another part about her that he likes.

heeseung has thought many times about lee isa and what he likes about her; from her perfect nose and smile to the way the ends of her bang on her right side curls inwards. but what he wants most is how she’s so different from him. the main difference is that he knows she wouldn’t hurt someone- ever.

heeseung cringes at the thought of him hurting people. memories of ex-friends ’faces getting so red with anger, girls he had just hooked up with crying in front of him- and you- flash through his mind.

heeseung isn’t sure what exactly caused him and you to not be able to converse calmly with each other- but it happened around freshman year from what he remembers. his memories with you aren’t the best and some of them make him laugh when he thinks about your reactions and expressions to the things he’s done or said to you. he thinks that you’re always the one to start things- that you can never take a joke and god, that’s all he knows how to do.

he knows that you always say he isn’t self-aware of what he does- but he knows he is. it’s part of his guilty conscience that keeps him up at night. and maybe his self-awareness wasn’t always up to one hundred percent- but it’s definitely grown as of the beginning of his senior year.

he’s so self-aware now that he can realize that not every fight is started by you- though he’s sure you know how to get right under his skin- get him so annoyed that he says things he regrets; like certain insults that he knows hit your insecure bone or posting embarrassing pictures or videos (the iconic vomit vid) of you when you’ve begged him not to.

heeseung used to swear that you have done worse to him than you have done to him, but now he’s not too sure.

heeseung hates to think that you and he have been sworn enemies in every life the both of you had the chance of living together- because he hopes you don't go the rest of your lives hating each other. or more so, that you don’t go the rest of your life hating him.

he wonders if you ever think the same.

heeseung caught the way you wiggled your eyebrows at him obnoxiously when you left the classroom with the other students for the end of the day. he knows that you’re only spending time with him so that you can become better for jake and that it gets isa out of the way of jake for you- but recently sometimes it feels like the two of you are truly just friends.

and heeseung knows his past self would hate to think it, but he’s been having actual fun with you. In fact, the thoughts of you are filling his mind so much that he almost completely misses the way isa speaks to him.

“hm?” heeseung snaps his head to the pretty girl, “sorry?”

isa’s pretty laugh fills the ugly classroom, “i asked why you were late this morning.”

“oh,” heeseung picks up a broom that was leaning against the wall, “I’m always late.”

“well yeah, but there’s no cause for your lateness?” heeseung picks up on isa’s suggesting tone and he raises an eyebrow up at her to question it, “you know, like y/n?”

heeseung feels his eyes widen at her question and part of him feels anxious that he had been speaking out loud, “what?- uh- no!” he cringes at himself yet again. isa’s pretty lips form a suspicious smirk. “really, y/n and i- it’s different.”

“different?” isa stops cleaning the chalkboard, “different how?”

“different like-” heeseung pauses to think about how he should word his next sentence, “like we’re not really together-together if you know what i mean.”

isa still looks confused but nods anyways and turns back to her cleaning, “so do you like each other?”

“we’re just friends.”

isa nods and heeseung focuses on sweeping, hoping that he didn’t just mess up literally everything- which reminds him, “is there anyone that you like?”

isa laughs at heeseung’s rushed-out question, “like in a ‘we’re not really together together way or in an ‘i want to date them’ way?”

“in an ‘i want to date them’ way.”

isa spins on her heel and leans against the newly cleaned board, “why?” she bites her lip and looks up into heeseung’s eyes.

“uh,” heeseung gulps as her eyes pierce so seductively into his own, “well because you know who i’m into- or who i’m not into i mean.”

isa makes a noise to think and she picks at her freshly done nails, “i mean there is a boy that i’m interested in.”

heeseung feels his heart pick up the pace at her words- his body filling with anxiousness and excitement that he struggles with his own body to keep calm and try to think of something to say, “there is?”

“yeah,” isa says with a sweet smile on her lips that makes heeseung want to drop to his knees, “do you want to know?”

“yes.” heeseung states and the quickness of his response shakes isa and him, but isa has a better way of hiding it than he does.

isa twirls her fingers in her pretty hair and takes a few steps towards heeseung so now that she’s a meter in front of him, the height difference is something that neither of them can ignore as heeseung has his whole head and neck bent down to look at her, “well, he’s on the soccer team.”

heeseung curses in his head when he figures it’s jake that she’s talking about and he wishes for a second that he didn’t even ask the stupid question until- “and he’s always late for class.”

“is he?” heeseung feels his confidence return and he’s smirking down at her.

“yeah, but i wasn’t sure if he liked me or not until very recently.”

“oh?” heeseung leans his hands and chin on the broom handle, “and what was the verdict?”

isa smirks back at him and he doesn’t know what is about to happen but he knows that this is something he’s been wishing for for four years and it’s almost everything he’s dreamed of as he steps even closer to him. he can smell her perfume as they look at each other with the same want and lust in their eyes.

heeseung felt like he was on cloud nine from it all.

“you guys can go now,” their teacher popped her head into the classroom, her eyes scanning its cleanliness before her eyes landed on the two of them, “what’re you two up to?”

“nothing mrs.kim!” isa steps back, sweeping up her backpack to throw it over her shoulder, “again, i’m so sorry for being late today! i’m sure it won’t become a regular occurrence!”

“it better not be, unless you want to end up like him,” mrs park teases them as she nods her head at heeseung who is still leaning over the broom with his jaw clenched. “let’s go heeseung, don’t want the coach to be madder at you then he probably already is.” heeseung shakes his head to clear it, smiling at isa who waves to him over their teachers’ shoulder.

their teacher rushing him to practice makes him forget to remind himself to ask isa why she was late for the first time ever today- plus the memories of his and isa’s interaction seem like something better to think about.

the longer you stood outside the party waiting for heeseung the more you hated his guts.

the porch isn’t just occupied by your fuming self but other couples who were making out and smoking. some other kids are laying on the lawn in front of you and you don’t even want to know what they are up to.

it would be your first party that you attended as a ‘couple’. heeseung and you had planned to meet up at the party (god forbid he meets your mother again) so you can walk in together.

fall has officially set into the air and it is making goosebumps rise on your legs from the fabric of your dress not covering them. you have been spamming heeseung with texts for the past ten minutes and he was not answering any of them. you start to wonder if he’s ignoring you and if he’s not going to show up to this party at all.

“hey, y/n, what’re you doing?” you turn at the mention of your name and see jake standing on the porch besides you. his blonde hair falls messily into his eyes and his tan skin looks so pretty in the mix of the moon and porch light.

“just getting some air,” you lie to him and it scares you how easily it seemed to be. you couldn’t tell him that your freshly new boyfriend is potentially ditching you at the moment.

“oh?” jake looks down at your body and then back up to your face, “do you think you’ve had enough? you look awfully cold.”

and suddenly your lying skills are out the window, “uh, no! i’m fine.” jake quirks an eyebrow up at your answer.

“ok, well do you want to come back inside? i lost the guys a while ago and I haven't seen the girls since we all got here.”

“sure,” your mood brightened up at the idea of being with jake. he smiles sweetly at you and you follow him back inside.

there seem to be more people at this party than any of the ones you’ve gone to before and it’s very hard to squeeze your way through the crowd. you’re nervous that you'll lose jake since he’s ahead of you.

suddenly, indicating that he was thinking the same thing he snakes his hand behind himself and grabs hold of your wrist, dragging you successfully behind him now. you try not to focus on the warmth from his skin onto your cold one and try to not lose him.

you both finally stop when you’re in the kitchen and he’s passing you a cup that some other guys are handing out. you’re leaning against the kitchen wall when he joins you with his own.

“i think they’re gonna run out of liquor soon with all the people here,” jake nods towards the crowded living room, “this was like the last of the vodka.”

“why are there so many people here?” you ask him curiously.

“choi yeonjun’s back in town for the weekend.”

“yeonjun?” your voice raises excitedly. “i haven’t seen him in over a year.”

“oh god,” jake groans and leans against the wall beside you, “you’re not gonna ditch me for choi yeonjun too are you?”

you quirk an eyebrow up at him, “what do you mean ‘too’?”

“i mean, haven’t you already ditched me for heeseung?”

“what? no!” you exclaim, “i wouldn’t ditch you for anyone- not heeseung or yeonjun.” jake smiles down at that and he sticks out his pinky finger at you.

“pinky promise?”

you smile and link your finger with his, “pinky promise.”

“good, because i need someone else that’s sober to help me every time our friends get too wasted to get home themselves.”

this time you groan at the memories of both of you dragging chaeryeong off of a lawn chair into the car and the time at sunghoon’s birthday party when both of you had to clean up sunghoon’s vomit from all over the kitchen. your reaction makes jake laugh and your stomach clenches at the sound of it.

“you know, heeseung is pretty lucky to have you,” jake takes a sip of his drink as your eyes widen in shock, “you’re a really great person, y/n.”

in the moment all you can think about is fuck lee heeseung and fuck this stupid plan, “actually jake,” you start and jake’s eyes squint in confusion at you.

a wave of guilt washes over you for some reason and you aren’t sure why. maybe it’s because you’ve been lying to jake for months now. maybe it’s because your friends are going to lose trust in you when they find out you've been lying. or maybe it’s because you feel like you’re going behind heeseung’s back right now.

“jake! come over here!” jay’s voice calls from the other side of the room- over the loud music and talking of all the other people. both of you turn and look at jay who’s waving over jake and is drastically pointed at isa who has her back turned to him. you catch the way jake’s eyes lighten up at the sight of isa who is standing with her friends.

“i’ll see you later, y/n.” jake says without even looking at you, just walking over with his drink still in his hand, jay pats him on the back as he walks past him as well and goes straight up to isa. isa looks just as happy as he does to see him. your heart hurts more at the sight of them hugging quickly in a friendly manner.

you curse lee heeseung for not being here and for making you not be able to open your mouth quicker.

jay’s waving at you catches your eye and he’s calling you over as well, but you couldn’t stand the thought of being so close to jake and isa who was now bending over into each other’s ears and whispering so only they would be able to hear each other. you only shake your head gently with a playful scowl on your face at jay, making him look confused at you. luckily, sunghoon pulls his arm around jay and distracts him, making jay forget about his still position against the wall.

you feel confused as you stand by yourself and watch all your friends have fun amid the big crowd in the living room. the music seems silent while your thoughts are loud and racing. you aren’t sure why you’re feeling so confused, but your stomach turns in disgust every time your eyes drift over jake and isa together.

it’s jealousy and anger mixing around in your chest and you want it all to go away. you feel frustrated that jake and your relationship seem to be stagnant when it could and should be so much more.

you can’t help but think that you’re perfect for each other.

well at least in your mind you’re perfect for each other.

you have fun with jake when you are hanging out with your other friends. the surfing lessons he gave you the past summer were the only times you were alone together- plus everyone else that was at the beach that day. even then, you didn’t get to talk to each other about anything besides the party the night before, your friends or surfing. it makes you wonder what you guys actually know about each other.

“dude i’m so sorry i’m late,” a presence stands beside you (and it luckily blocks your view of isa and jake) and you instantly can tell who it is without looking at him, “coach was kicking my ass because of detention earlier- which by the way- was awesome!” when heeseung saw the distant look in your eyes that weren’t looking at him he stopped, “what’s wrong? you look like you’re about to cry or kill someone.”

“i’m going to kill someone.”

“ou, who?” heeseung turns to look out at the people partying, excited to hear about it. until he felt a harsh slap to his bicep again, “ow!”

“you! i’m going to kill you!” you were grateful for the loud music now.

“what why? i said i’m sorry for being late! i couldn’t tell the coach i needed to leave his punishment practice to party!”

you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, you could barely look at him right now with all the thoughts of him and jake crossing through your mind at the same time. “are your parents home tonight?”

“no, why?” he asks you, not taking his eyes off of your angry figure.

“because i want to fuck so let’s go.” you grab his wrist of the arm you had hit earlier and start to pull him through the crowds of people. you ignored the looks you were getting as you bumped them to their sides and the calls of your name from heeseung behind you. you only listened to him when you both stood out on the street outside of the house party. “what?”

honestly, heeseung had thought you had lost it. he thought you were so drunk and blinded by whatever had made you so pissed that he thought your brain had stopped working.

“i mean, you want to fuck-fuck or like, just do what we usually do.”

“heeseung,” you grab a hold of both of his upper arms so he looks down into your eyes, “i want your dick inside of me.” and now heeseung thinks his brain is close to stopping as well since “y/n wants me to take her v card” fills up his mind and stops any other thoughts of forming.

“are- are you sure? i mean you said before-” heeseung tries to process what you’re saying and what you want.

“i don’t care what i said before.” you snap at him, “i’m tired of being inexperienced and i’m tired of watching jake fuck every other girl and not me! so please heeseung, just take me back to your house so we can fuck.”

heeseung says ok and then you’re both speeding walking back to his house, little laughs falling out both of your mouths. and although heeseung said ok, he doesn’t feel ok. it's fun almost running through the streets with you so you can get into bed together sooner- but there’s a feeling behind it that makes him feel uneasy.

he thinks if you were any other girl that was begging for him to fuck her and to take her virginity he wouldn’t have thought twice about it- hell he wouldn’t even bother taking her back to his house, he’d find a spot somewhere on the lawn and fuck her there.

but with you it’s different. and he’s quickly realizing that everything about you is different. so he thinks that he should treat you differently.

i want to give a very small TW here just in case: reader says to stop during sex- and heeseung does immediately!

but it’s still so hard to when you’re ripping off his shirt before you’re even fully inside of his bedroom. you’re smashing your lips against his so messily and your hands are trailing down his toned chest. it turns heeseung on that you’re trying to take the lead and have so much confidence compared to the other times.

heeseung had mentally already prepared himself to bring you back to his house (or to an empty room at the party) to make it up to you for being so late to the party. he did not expect you to instantly drag him back out and make him take you back to his house.

“heeseung, please,” you beg him, feeling frustrated and needy. your foreheads are touching as you look at each other.

“you’re one hundred percent positive you want to do this?”

you feel a bit of doubt rush through your mind at the thought of losing your virginity to heeseung. you always imagined you would have lost it to a boy that you loved- to a boy like jake. but you understand that to get jake to love you back, you would have to do this, “yes, heeseung.”

heeseung doesn’t notice the flash of doubt in your eye and leans in to kiss you again, this time rougher and pushing you back so you’re on his bed. your hips started to move involuntarily against his hips, making him groan against your lips. you could feel the texture of his jeans rubbing against your clit through your panties.

heeseung’s hand slipped down in between your bodies and started to slink off of your panties down your legs. you could feel your bottom half now bare to his bedroom as your dress was bunched up at your hips. heeseung’s hips were still rolling into yours. heeseung’s hands were roaming your outer thighs, keeping them spread so his body could stay in between them.

heeseung pulls away from your lips first and starts to kiss down your neck, easily finding your sweet spot by now, and sucking a harsh bruise into it. you hold back your whine from the pleasure and focus on the task at hand. your hands trail down to heeseung’s crotch, rubbing over the bulge that had formed. when he feels you start to unbuckle his jeans he pulls away from you completely.

“fuck, wait.” heeseung stops and you see that his chest is breathing heavily like your own, “i gotta stretch you out first, i don’t want to hurt you.”

“no no, i’m okay,” you stop him from inching his finger towards your core. he looks up at you confused, “let’s just fuck.” you could tell that heeseung wanted to say something, but he chose not to, deciding to listen to you and shove his pants down his legs.

his cock was hard when it sprung up and it made you realize just how big he was and that he was supposed to shove his big dick into your pussy in a second and you hoped to god it wouldn’t hurt as much as your friends said it would.

heeseung rummages through his bedside drawer until he holds up a crinkly condom package. he stands in between your spread legs again, “do you want to try to put it on?”

you gulp and shake your head no, making heeseung shrug and begin to open the package himself. he slides the condom onto his dick easily, showing that he has a lot more experience than you do, and you try to not shy away at the thought. you try to think of jake and that you were doing this for jake- you were doing this so you can jake could be together.

heeseung places his dick at your entrance, making your body freeze up, “are you sure you want to do this, y/n?” heeseung asks, resisting the urge to bend down and stroke the side of your face with his thumb.

“yes, i’m ready heeseung, god,” you let out in a frustrated tone that you regretted when you saw heeseung’s concerned face drop into something more offended.

heeseung huffs but doesn't say anything as he begins to push into you, watching your face and body. when his tip slides into you he stops, catching the way your face contorted into pain, “do you want me to pull out?” heeseung’s voice is a higher pitch than normal.

you shake your head no, “just keep going, hee.” you don’t look at him as you can only focus on the sheer amount of pain you were feeling as he continued to slowly push himself into you.

you aren’t sure how much farther he slid himself into you until you couldn’t deal with the pain, “ow heeseung! okay i- i can’t.” your hand grabbed onto heeseung’s forearm, wanting to stop him from going any further.

due to your pain, you miss the way heeseung’s eyes fill with pure panic and concern at your words, “shit, y/n.” heeseung instantly pulls out of you, making you hiss with more pain. “fuck, i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry.”

your hands cover your face as you start to feel tears of frustration start to pool in your eyes. there was no way that you could ever live up to jake’s expectations at this point. he would never see you as someone he could love. if earlier in the night where he left you in an instant for isa didn’t make that clear enough to you.

you’re too distracted with trying to cover your tears from heeseung that you don’t notice him fervently rushing around his room, slipping on some sweatpants and finding a sweater for you to wear.

“y/n, here sit up,” you feel heeseung beside you again, his hand finding its way to your lower back to help you sit up on his bed. you can’t bear to look at him because you feel so disappointed in yourself for so many reasons that you can count. “do you want to change into this while i go get you some water?- or do you want to have a bath or a shower- fuck how bad does it hurt?”

“i’m fine, heeseung!” you snap at him, pushing his hand away from you, “fuck, i’m f-fine,” you repeat, this time quieter and you still haven’t looked at him.

“here, just put this on and i’ll go get some water.” heeseung put his sweater in your lap and left his room. he felt like one million thoughts were going through his mind all at once and he couldn’t help but feel guilty for hurting you. it was the last thing he had wanted to do.

when he comes back with a glass of water, he finds you under his blanket with his sweater on, the hood over your head as you lay on your side, facing the doorway. he places the glass of water on the bedside table and smiles softly at your quiet ‘thank you'.

heeseung thinks to himself that he’s never felt this awkward before in his own bedroom.

“are you going to lay down?” you ask him quietly after your eyes met silently a few times.

“do- do you want me to?” heeseung stutters, trying to think of something to do to help the situation. when you nod against his pillow he gently crawls over you so he lays closest to the wall now. you’re still laying on your side as he lays on his back, staring up at his ceiling.

heeseung wasn’t going to lie to himself or to anyone (okay maybe to you) that he hadn’t thought of fucking you before. he figured that you were more on the vanilla side until he had heard you and your friends talking about your virginity. it made something click inside of him- like he saw a different side of you from then on.

kissing you was something he hadn’t expected. it was softer than he imagined, and he liked to smell your perfume as you kissed. and he liked the sounds of you whimpering into your mouth when he takes you by surprise and presses his tongue into your mouth. your reactions to everything he does are so cute that it makes him turned on in a way he’s never felt before.

after your first set of rules had been set, he never figured that you would give him a handjob or anything of the sort- but he wasn’t disappointed when you had. he found it hard to think of anything else since it had happened. every time his hand sneaks down to his crotch late at night. all he can think about is you.

after all the times he had thought about fucking you- he had never expected it to go like that.

he wanted to say so much to you, but he didn’t want to cross any lines with you. he knew that once this deal between you was over, the two of you would go back to hating each other- to swearing at each other in front of anyone- doing anything to insult or embarrass the other. so, he didn’t understand why he cared so much and wanted to hold you.

your silent shaking makes him look over at your slumped forward figure. heeseung was suddenly hyper-aware of your sniffles filling up his bedroom.

“are you okay? i didn’t mean to hurt you, y/n i’m so sorry.”

“i’m fine, heeseung.” you respond, “i’m just disappointed and confused and it makes me sad to feel this way.”

“i’m sorry, i should’ve taken proper care of you i-.” heeseung turns to lean onto his elbow, ready to apologize with his whole heart.

“-you’re fine heeseung.” you cut him off, “it’s just- why does every other girl get to lose her virginity and have sex all the time but i can’t? it seems so easy for everyone except me.”

you hear heeseung sigh and flop down onto his back, “it’s because you like jake and not me. it’s easier to lose your virginity to someone that you actually like- someone that you want to have sex with.” when you don’t respond to him he continues, “i’m sorry, y/n. it’s not just you, i’m sure there are other girls th-.”

“kiss me.”

“w-what?” heeseung stutters again, this time out of pure shock from your words.

“i don’t want to think about it anymore- just kiss me to distract me.” you turn slightly on your back so you can look at heeseung over your shoulder, “please?”

heeseung scans your face and eyes sincerely this time, hoping to catch any sign of doubt- but ultimately finds nothing. he moves over slightly, so he’s leaning over you, his face close to yours. you catch the way he licks his lips, wetting them before he presses his lips to yours.

the kiss is the softest kiss you have ever felt. sure, you haven’t kissed very many people- but you know this one would be the winner for sure. you can almost barely feel heeseung’s lips against yours- but you fully take in the passion you feel from him.

you can’t help but let a few tears out of your eyes as you continue to kiss heeseung. the kiss is something that you need at the moment, and it’s making your heart and head feel ten times lighter than it is. heeseung feels your tears against his own face, and he pulls away slightly from you. both of you are looking into each other’s eyes and you don’t think you’ve ever noticed how pretty his eyes are.

“you shouldn’t have to have sex with someone just because everyone else is- or because you feel like you should.” heeseung’s thumb brushes against the side of your face, caving in to his urges from earlier, and wipes a stray tear off of your cheek, “i’m sorry that it hurt- and i’m sorry if i made you feel like you have to be experienced with stuff like this.”

your brain was still filtered with the alcohol from the party earlier, and your body felt exhausted from everything it had gone through. your mind was practically begging you to go to sleep.

so, you lean up towards heeseung and press your lips into his, hoping that it would suffice and successfully let him know what you were saying without speaking any words.

and heeseung swears he feels his heart skip a beat.

if lee heeseung was upset that you left his house before he woke up the next morning, he didn’t act like it. you expected him to text you or even tease you about ditching him in his own bed- but there was nothing.

in fact, you didn’t even see heeseung until the end of school on monday.

“y/n, your boyfriend is here,” chaehyun giggles out to you from the other side of the classroom. you glance up at her before your eyes wander towards the door.

heeseung is leaning against the door frame with a quirked eyebrow at you, a smirk on his face at chaehyun’s words. you could feel your cheeks burn at the statement and you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. you start to pack your bag quickly, wanting to get out of the class as soon as possible as you could still hear the last group of friends in the classroom whispering and giggling.

with their hushed giggling, it was then that heeseung noticed isa sitting amongst the girls cradled together against some of the desks. he didn’t know how he could have pinpointed her exact laugh out of everyone else’s, but it succeeded in distracting him enough to glance over and see her looking right back at him.

there was some meaning behind her eyes as she softly smiled at him, his cocky demeanour disappearing the more he looked at her soft features. her friend whispered something in her ear, but she didn’t look away from heeseung, only sending him a wink until he was kicked in the shin.

“ow!” he whisper yells, his pained face meeting your amused one.

“i said, let’s go.” you started to push him out of the classroom, his ears catching isa’s giggle one last time.

both of you continued walking until you ended up in the outdoor classroom. the school had ended twenty minutes ago so there were some students still lingering around the property, but you didn’t pay them any attention from your spot on the bench you had sat on before.

heeseung had offered you some of the water he was drinking which you declined, making both of you sit in silence for a little while longer. it was starting to get colder now, as october had officially started up. the leaves were starting to turn orange- but not to the point where they were wilting off of the tree branches and covering the grass.

“do you have any new ideas about our whole plan, thing?” you ask him finally, because you have thought about it yourself, and haven’t been able to come up with much. everything you had planned before didn’t seem to go as expected.

heeseung leans back against the bench, his legs spread and he lets out a hum that indicates he’s thinking, “i haven’t thought about much, but halloween is coming up we’ll have to think of something big for that night.”

“halloween?” you ask with a tone of surprise, “like in almost a month? you want this to go on for another whole month?”

“well, i mean, we can’t seem like everything we’re doing is so forced, right?”

you groan and put your hands to your face, and it makes heeseung worry for a second that you're about to start crying again.

“what’s so wrong with going on for another month?” he asks you, wanting to reach out and place his hand on your back, but he keeps it glued to his thigh.

“because, hee,” you look at him, and he counts it as ‘four times now’ that you’ve called him by his nickname, “i want to date jake, not you.” you shake your head and miss the way heeseung rolls his eyes.

“well, sorry that i can’t make this go any faster.” heeseung replies, crossing his arms over his chest.

you’re about to speak again but a now familiar giggle cuts you off. both yours and heeseung’s eyes widen and you’re jumping up and going to the side rail of the outdoor classroom. you’re both trying to stay hidden as you look over to who was walking on the sidewalk below.

sure enough, isa is walking there as you had thought. but only jake was with her.

heeseung and you glance at each other when jake becomes visible to the both of you, and you go back to watching them.

jake sticks out his hand for isa to take, and he spins her around with it, making her giggle harder and tell him to quit being cheesy. you felt like you could throw up if you wanted to at her now annoying voice.

throughout your and heeseung’s plan, you couldn’t help but find the nice girl that you once called an acquaintance annoying. everything she did made your anger rise- and you haven’t spoken to her since the day you had pushed heeseung into her. maybe you were jealous of her because she had the attention of both of the guys you were closest to, but you didn’t want to admit that.

“are you hungry?” you can hear jake ask her as they now stand right below you and heeseung hiding.

“yes, i’m starving.” isa exaggerates and you notice heeseung moving more so he can see her more.

“what do you want to go eat?”

you can hear isa hum as she thinks, and heeseung nudges you to look, they’re still holding the hand that jake twirled her with and it makes you roll your eyes, “how about mcdonalds?”

“if that’s what you want.”

“that’s what i want.” isa confirms and you can hear shuffling and giggling again.

“okay, they’re far away now,” heeseung says in a normal tone, you move so you’re beside heeseung in the open view- if anyone were to look up at the outdoor classroom they could see you and your ‘boyfriend’ no doubt. you can see jake and isa swinging their clasped hands as they leave down the school’s side driveway- towards the street where they were most likely going to get mcdonalds, “i have to go to practice now.”

heeseung stands up and dusts off the knees of his pants. you stand up after him and swing your backpack onto your shoulder. “we can talk more about this tomorrow if you want, i don’t have practice.”

you nod and watch im walk back to the bench where his jacket and bag were, “and why did you post that picture of me on your instagram?” (reference to updated profiles) you were annoyed this morning when you walked into the cafeteria with ryujin and choerry shoving their stupid phones in your face of heeseung’s stupid instagram.

heeseung shrugs as he starts to put his jacket into his bag, “why did i lose like twenty followers after posting it?”

“you lost followers?” you exclaim, “it’s probably all the girls that followed you to drool over you.”

heeseung smiles to himself as he slings his backpack over his shoulder, “if that’s what you think- i thought it was because you were too ugly.”

you gasp and slap his shoulder, making him laugh, “if i’m so ugly then why did you post it?”

heeseung shrugs again, “i guess it’s a cute picture,” you squint your eyes at him in unsureness, “and because if people think we’re dating we should probably act like we are.” now that was something you could understand as to why he would post it, “maybe you,” heeseung pokes your nose with his finger, “should post a picture of me too, so more people believe it.”

“i’ll think about it- i don’t know if i really want lee heeseung all over my account.” you make heeseung laugh again and he clasps his hand over your head, messing up your hair roughly.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.” he starts to walk backwards toward the door, “make sure to pick out a good pic!” he winks at you before he’s out of your sight and the closed door is the only thing you’re staring at.

you grab a tighter hold onto your backpack as you curse lee heeseung yet again, and push open the door so you can leave as well. on your way home, you mentally pick out a picture that would seem allowable to post on your instagram.

you just prayed that no one would tease you about it.

you felt as if things between you and heeseung had changed after the weekend.

there are unspoken emotions that are creating an emotional and physical distance between you two. every time you had seen heeseung after the weekend (which was not a lot) it felt off. even during your almost silent conversation in the outdoor classroom on monday, it felt as if heeseung was forcing himself to talk and to put on a facade around you.

part of you wondered if heeseung was having second thoughts about your whole plan. he had said so himself that he had no more ideas on how to progress your relationships with isa and jake until at least halloween.

you had figured that this would take some time for jake to realize he has feelings for you- but not this long. and you would have never imagined that lee heeseung would be beside you for the majority of it.

you could not even start to count how many times you swore you hated lee heeseung. but then you started to get to know more about him, and you got to know the way he tasted on your lips, and how his warm body felt against yours. you even noticed how caring he could be towards someone. and now, it’s awkward between you two and you can’t help but wish it wasn’t. you wish heeseung would come up and mess up your hair, or shove your shoulders in the hall, or point out a stupid mistake you did.

heeseung had texted you that he wouldn’t be able to hang out the day he said he would- and rearranged to see you on the weekend when someone would be having a party. you suspected that jake would also be in the future unknown party heeseung was referring to and it kind of gave you something good to think of during the week. it helped distract you from the sinking feeling in your chest you got every time you passed heeseung in the halls- or even just thought about him.

your friends were also no help at all, always asking if you and heeseung were still dating, or fighting, or just trying to prank them and get them to believe you were even dating in the first place. you would just shrug them off every time, hoping that the conversation would lead somewhere else. their questions and ideas only fuelled your upset mind more. you were so confused about why there was some unspoken tension between you and heeseung that neither of you was seemingly willing to talk about.

by the end of the week with not even a word spoken to each other since monday, you were upset. and you couldn’t believe that you were and were allowing yourself to be upset over lee heeseung.

he was someone that had become a big part of your life so suddenly, someone that you shared a secret with that no one else knew about. and now it seemed like it had all just stopped so abruptly. it was filling your mind and it was all you could think about.

even in gym class when you should’ve been paying attention to the basketball game in front of you, you found yourself staring off into nothing and thinking about what had gone so wrong that you and heeseung were now avoiding each other- and what would happen at this party you were both knowingly going to?

your distracting thoughts of heeseung were what made you completely miss the in-game basketball being thrown right into your direction- being missed by the player that was supposed to catch it- and smack right into your head.

in front of your whole entire gym class, you were thrown off of the corner of the bench you were sitting on, and down onto the floor, hitting your head off of the gym floor as well. before you could realize what was happening, there were your peer students standing all around you on the floor and asking if you were okay. your teacher barged through them and quickly analyzed you, seeing if you were bleeding from anywhere.

though there was no visible blood leaking from your head, you couldn’t ignore the aching of it from both sides from where the ball hit you, and from where you hit it off of the ground, your teacher still sent you to the nurse's office. thankfully, all the nurses were nice, and none of them made fun of you or made you worry more in any way. when the main nurse left you alone to rest for a bit before she could send you home, you sighed in relief and laid back down on the hospital bed she had set you in.

you must have not been laying there long until you heard the door of the room you were in being whipped open and a stamper of feet rushing inside right after. you open your eyes to find a big-eyed concerned heeseung looking at you, scanning your body for any injuries or bandages.

“heeseung?” you call his name in a confused state, sleep almost taking over you until he comes in.

“yes, it’s me.” heeseung walked right over to your bed, looking down at you, “are you okay?”

“yeah, ‘m fine,” you nod, sitting up so your upper body is resting on your elbows, “what are you doing here?”

heeseung scoffs, “well when a whole group of kids come up to me and tell me that my girlfriend has been sent to the nurse's station from what was probably one of the worst concussion-induced accidents they’ve seen- of course, i’m going to come here!”

this time you scoff, and you relax your elbows so your body rests completely down on the bed now.

“what was that scoff for?” heeseung asks, your hand comes up to rest on your forehead, a harsh ache hurting your entire head.

“nothing heeseung,” you tell him, closing your eyes from the brightness of the room and the sudden awakening.

“no, you scoffed for a rea-”

“-heeseung,” you cut him off, “can you get the nurse for me? i just want to go home.”

you don’t open your eyes to look at him, only listening as he stands there for a moment longer, probably in disbelief from your words before he’s leaving your room and getting the nurse for you.

the nurse was really happy when she saw heeseung and let you go home earlier since he would be there to help you. she made him promise to wake you up every hour just in case you had an undetected concussion. and even when you had left the nurses station and told heeseung you would be fine to get home by yourself, he insisted on walking with you.

the walk itself didn’t seem too awkward. your head is hurting and you’re tired and heeseung and you kept a safe distance away from each other as you walked. every now and then you could hear heeseung humming a song to himself as you walked.

you wanted to ask heeseung why he was suddenly caring so much for you when he didn’t even acknowledge you throughout the week in the halls- or text you at least. though, you knew he would ask you the same questions. to which you wouldn’t know how to answer besides blaming it all on him for acting weird and distant first.

you guess that you are angry.

and frustrated and confused- and if lee heeseung’s emotions switched this fast then you couldn’t keep up with it. it annoyed you that he ignored you all week- just to show up at the nurse's station ready to drop everything for you.

when you finally get to your house, you start saying bye to heeseung, just wanting to go to bed before your parents get home in a few hours.

“what are you doing?” you ask him as he follows you up your porch to your front door.

heeseung gives you a confused expression, “what do you mean? i promised the nurse to wake you up every hour to make sure your head is okay.”

“heeseung, i’m fine okay? just go back to school.” you shake your head at him, turning to unlock your door so you can go inside.

“yeah yeah, you’re always apparently fine- but i think this time i should really make sure you’re actually fine, o-?”

“what do you mean ‘apparently fine’? when i say i’m fine i mean it-” you snap and turn to look at the tall boy, “i don’t need you to check up on me, especially not after you avoided me all week.”

heeseung looked taken aback at your outburst, “right- you’re fine. but i still think i should come in and help you lay down- or stay until your parents g-.”

“no, heeseung,” you step inside your house, your hand resting on the door handle inside, “i don’t need you coming inside and pretending as you care about me- we only need to pretend to date in front of everyone else, not with each other.” you see heeseung about to open his mouth to speak, “just go back to school, heeseung.”

you harshly close the door in his face, leaving him standing on your porch alone in the middle of the day. heeseung kicks his foot against the pole at the end of your driveway as he walks past it, leaving your house, angrier than he’s been in a long time- and it’s mainly at himself.

heeseung was nervous. and he liked to believe that he never got nervous- especially about parties and girls. but something about the party tonight, and whether or not you were going to show up made him undeniably nervous and it was killing him that he couldn’t control it.

heeseung hasn’t spoken to you since he dropped you off at your house yesterday and slammed the door in his face. he knew from what you said that you were onto him. you knew that he was avoiding you and he knew that you were upset about it. he wanted to tell you that you weren’t the only one upset about it.

honestly, heeseung felt like he had to create some distance between you and him. ever since the night where he almost took your virginity, he’s had a hard time thinking about anyone or anything else.

he was disappointed when he woke up the next morning to an empty bed, your clothes gone, and the hoodie he had let you wear was thrown onto his desk. at first, he didn’t understand why he felt upset that you had snuck out before he woke up, but he realized soon enough it was because of an underlying feeling he didn’t dare speak or think about.

heeseung has been wondering if he has had the underlying feeling for you for the entire time he has known you- and that it only started to affect him now because he was spending more time with you- and often those times were intimate. he thinks (or hopes) that it’s all just a part of his hormonal teenage brain that makes him only think he has feelings for you.

but he still can’t help but get annoyed when you bring up jake- and the fact that you’re basically in love with him.

heeseung knows that parties are where your friends like to hang out. it’s where they all feel at peace with themselves and have fun. so he knows jake and isa will be here tonight. but he wonders if you’ll show up. he’s noticed pretty early on into your hateship that you’re not a party person, yet you still show up for your friends and jake. he also knows that you’re absolutely pissed at him and are losing hope in getting jake to like you back. so he figures that there’s about a 30/70 chance that you will show up.

he hopes that his made-up 30 percent chance is true and that you’ll come right up to him and ask what the plan is tonight. he even thinks that if you come up to him and just slap his bicep like you usually do will be sufficient enough for him to at least be able to see you.

heeseung knows sunghoon and jay are around this house party somewhere. he saw sunghoon dancing with some girls earlier, and jay was against a wall with choerry not too long ago. but he couldn’t be bothered to find them at a time like this. he didn’t feel like himself, and he knew his friends would be able to catch on in no time.

he hasn’t seen jake tonight, and he wonders if he’s with isa somewhere. maybe he’s taking her out on a proper date, and holding her hand and saying things heeseung has only imagined himself saying to her. he realizes then that he doesn’t care what jake says to isa- but he knows he should. he used to care at least.

“boo!” a false deep voice exclaims from behind him and grabs a tight hold of his arm.

“jesus!” he turns around with a scowl, ready to reprimand the person who just tried to scare him. his scowl fades when he sees isa.

“what’re you thinking about so deeply?” isa starts a conversation, her pretty smile on her face as she looks up at him.

“nothing much,” heeseung shrugs and takes a sip of his drink, immediately wishing he was drunker.

“really? nothing much?” isa quirks her eyebrow, “if it’s nothing then why does it have you zoning out at a party?”

“that’s a good point.”

“you should have fun tonight, heeseung!” she grips his arms, shaking him gently.

“i know, i know.”

isa lets one of her hands drop from his bicep while the other one snakes its way up to his shoulder, where it plays with the hem of his shirt, “i think you need a distraction.”

“that’s what this is for.” heeseung holds up his cup and brings it to his mouth, where he downs the entirety of it left.

isa smiles at him, “but it doesn’t seem to be working does it?”

at this point, isa is pressing her whole body against his, and heeseung is struggling to think of anything else except for how warm and small she is compared to him, “i guess not.”

“can i try?” isa pouts up at him, and he wants to know how her lips feel against his- and a small part of him wonders if they’ll feel even remotely close to how good yours feel.

“try what?”

“to distract you.”

heeseung thought he was dreaming. he had thought about isa in a scenario like this countless times. yet, this wasn’t a fantasy of his it was real life and he now he was standing there looking like an idiot in front of her.

“uh-, yeah, sure,” he stutters out and he’s glad the music is loud so no one else could hear what he and isa are talking about. he still hears isa’s soft giggle before she’s wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling his head down so it’s close to hers.

they look into each other’s eyes for a second, as if to think about what they’re about to do before they’re both closed and their lips are touching. heeseung’s thoughts about how soft her lips would be are correct, and her perfume smells just as nice as he thought it would. but it feels off in a way he didn’t imagine.

“do you need some more distractions, hee?” she whispers, her lips barely brushing against his as they stay close together. heeseung thinks about it for a moment, and he knows his past self is kicking him in the ass for taking so long to her answer her very direct question. so he thinks he nods not for himself, but for everyone else that would be encouraging him to get on with it with the girl he’s been thinking about for years.

isa smiles at his curt nod, and in a second she unwrapped her arms around him and instead wraps her hand around his wrist so she can pull him through the house. heeseung assumes isa must have been to this house before with her confidence walking around, going straight to a bathroom that was down an extra almost hidden hall. the music of the house is barely there when she closes the door after herself.

before heeseung can even properly lean against the bathroom counter, isa is pushing herself against him again. their lips meet in a frenzy and it takes heeseung a second to be able to kiss her back. her hands are pulling tight on the hair on the back of his neck. heeseung starts to pull her closer to him as well, his hands gripping her waist so their hips can press together. he feels isa smile against his lips, and he knows she feels his hard-on through their pants.

“i wanna make you feel good, heeseung,” isa says with her voice full of lust. “are you gonna let me distract you some more?”

“fuck, isa,” heeseung licks his lips as he stares down into her eyes, “please.” isa smirks at his subtle begging and she drops down to her knees to unbuckle his pants. she pushes them and his boxer down to his ankles so his semi-hard dick is now available for them to look at. her hands grab the base of it quickly, placing soft kisses up the shaft, “fuck,”.

isa takes the tip of his cock into her mouth and sinks down as far as she can go before gagging. she quickly starts a steady pace and it makes heeseung roll his eyes into the back of his head. it’s warm and wet and easy to fall into the pleasure of it all. he feels and hears her moan against his dick, and it makes him open his eyes and look down at her.

and it shocks him to only find your eyes looking back at him.

“what the fuck,” heeseung lets out in surprise, his hands gripping tighter onto the counter behind him to steady himself.

“what?” isa pulls off his dick and looks up at him in confusion and slight offence. heeseung takes a hard gulp when he only sees isa again, and he mentally hits himself for being so weird.

“nothing, nothing, it just feels so good,” heeseung only partially lies, and he knows isa believes it when she smiles up at him gracefully and goes back to sticking his cock in her mouth happily.

heeseung tells himself to just focus on the pleasure, to not screw up this night even more, but now he finds it hard to when he’s questioning himself on why he saw you looking up at him. it can’t help but imagine what it would feel like to have his dick in your mouth specifically. he starts to imagine that he would have to go slow with you, have to deal with your teasing and annoying smirks he’s grown to think are cute.

he’d want to hear your gags and whimpers with his dick lodged into your mouth. he wonders if your eyes would swell with tears easily, and he imagines wiping off your makeup that would be smudged afterwards. he feels himself grow harder at the thought of you, and it makes him jerk his hips forwards, making isa gag for a second, but she keeps up her pace.

heeseung is disappointed when he looks down to find isa on the floor in front of him instead of you. and he can’t believe what he’s feeling. he would have never thought that he’d rather you want to make him feel good instead of isa. but he does, and now you’re all he can think about which makes him feel guilty.

heeseung’s hands cover his face as he scrunches up in frustration with himself and the situation, “fuck,” he lets out a groan, not believing what he’s about to do.

“are you okay?” isa’s voice sounds strained as she pulls away from his dick, noticing his scrunched eyebrows through his hands.

“yeah, yeah,” heeseung says and he looks down at her with no expression, “let’s just stop.”

“stop?” isa sits back on her knees, which gives heeseung room to bend down to pull back up his boxers and jeans, “did i do something?”

“no!” heeseung shakes his head instantly, and reaches forward to help isa up off the ground, “i just,”

isa takes her hand out of his, “you just what?”

heeseung feels more guilty now from her angry expression, “i just can’t do this- with you. i need to go.”

“what the fuck, heeseung?” isa watches him start to walk backwards to the door, opening it from behind.

“i’m so sorry, fuck i’m sorry isa, i just- i gotta go.” heeseung cringes at his words as he says them, turning into the hallway and walking through the house at a fast pace. he keeps calling himself a fucking idiot as he walks, cursing himself and you for what just happened.

“heeseung, bro!” he hears someone call him but he ignores it and keeps walking, almost to the front door at this point, “hee!” a hand wraps around his arm, forcing him to stop. heeseung almost groans in frustration when he sees jake in front of him, “where the hell are you going in such a rush?”

“what? i’m not rushing, i just- i want to go home.”

“oh,” jake looks confused, “you don’t want to stay for a bit longer, i just got here and we haven’t hung out in a while.” heeseung wonders if the world just hates him at this point.

“no, man, i gotta go home.”

jake looks disappointed at heeseung and it makes him feel bad for leaving his best friend- or who once was his best friend, “well, do you know where anyone is?”

“uh, i saw sunghoon in the living room a while ago, he’s probably still there.” jake nods in response, and heeseung turns to leave.

“hee,” jake calls him again, heeseung looks back at him again, “are you okay?”

“yeah! i’m fine! just wanna go home.” heeseung forces a smile on his face, praying to god jake would believe him.

“okay, man, see ya.” jake nods a goodbye at him, and heeseung smiles softer in response.

heeseung finally leaves the godforsaken party, not looking back the entire walk home, just replaying the night's events over and over in his head. he checks his phone for the first time when he steps into his bedroom, seeing a couple texts from jay and instagram notifications- but nothing from you like he would’ve hoped.

heeseung crawls into his bed, wearing about the hoodie that he had given you to wear a week ago. he tries to smell your perfume or shampoo on it, but only smells the cologne that he hates. his dick is still hard, and it twitches in his sweatpants and it makes him groan. he wishes you were in his bedroom with him, laying in his bed as you’ve done before. he tries to resist his stupid teenage boy urges but gives in by slipping his hand into his sweat pants.

heeseung rubs his thumb over his slit, almost hissing out from how sensitive he is from isa’s mouth earlier. his precum is dripping out and it makes it easier for his hand to start to glide up and down his dick.

he starts to imagine you on your knees for him again, your mouth surrounding his dick and letting him fuck into your mouth. his hips start to fuck into his hand, imagining it was your warm and wet mouth.

heeseung’s teeth are clenched tightly together as he only thinks of you.

he thinks about you moaning his name and asking him to cum for you. the thought of you wanting to make him feel good drives him crazy and makes his hips jerk up faster into his fist. he thinks you’d let him do anything to you- teach you anything because you’re so eager to learn.

the final thought of you wanting to swallow his cum sends him over the edge, and he immediately thinks it's the best orgasm he’s ever given himself- and it’s because of you. his muscles are tense, and his vision goes blank as his eyes close tight.

his chest is heaving out of breath as his hand and thighs are covered in his warm cum- he wishes you were there to lick him clean.

heeseung’s questioned his self-awareness for a while- but now he knows his self-awareness is up to par with the way he’s so conscious of the fact that he has fucked up and he has fucked up bad. he hopes that he’ll wake up in the morning, and you’ll be beside him in bed, sneaking in as quietly just as you had sneaked out.

heeseung’s self-awareness allows him to know what these thoughts mean- that he only wants you, and he has, for a long time.

@ taeghi, 2022. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS

stay safe everyone :) i hope you enjoy the next and final part !

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ididntseeurbag · 1 year

Text

start over

pairing: heeseung x fem!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, fluff

warnings: reader gets stressed

in which i-land is a program to make both a girl and a boy group. you and three other girls are supposed to perform fake love, but the dance moves aren't easy. luckily for you, your now ex-rival heeseung is there to offer comfort.

a/n: this is the second part of my very small mini-series! part 1 here | part three here <3

phase two of i-land had started, and y/n was stressed to say the least. she and her team were 3 days away from the bts test, a performance she was in charge of leading, since fake love required some strong vocals and she was the best in that field.

two of her teammates, anna and georgie, had gone to a small practice room to check on the vocal details, while seungcha (the last member of the team) was sleeping in her room by y/n's orders, for she had overworked herself almost all day and it was already past midnight.

y/n was left alone in the main practice room and decided to go over the dance a few more times in hopes of getting right the moves she hadn’t mastered yet. she danced one part over and over again but couldn’t seem to stop making the same mistakes.

frustrated, she stopped the song, rested her back against the mirror and let herself fall until she sat on the floor. she felt angry at herself for not being able to execute the moves perfectly, and it was even worse when she thought that it was most probably affecting the whole group.

she slightly raised her head to face the ceiling, letting it also rest on the mirror, and closed her eyes. she felt overwhelmed by her incapability of dancing correctly and blamed herself for it, since a leader should be the one that did best in order to set an example for her other partners.

feeling anxious and angry at herself, she couldn’t help but let the tears fall, not caring about wiping them off. she cried, her negative thoughts getting stronger by the minute. she told herself she wouldn’t be able to debut if she kept that up. hell, she thought she wouldn’t even pass the next phase. she also wondered if her team could get out of such a slump if their own leader wasn’t good enough.

the stronger her assumptions were, the more the tears fell. the music that autoplayed from her playlist silenced her soft sobs, but the glass walls of the room left her exposed to whatever person that went down the stairs.

that person ended up being heeseung. he was going to the lower level of the building to see if the main practice room was available, whistling a tune as he made his way down. when he got off the last step, he saw y/n and wasted no time rushing to her.

y/n heard the door open and quickly wiped her tears, thinking it was anna or georgie and not wanting them to see her this vulnerable. to her surprise, she saw heeseung instead, but she was thankful it was him who found her. feeling a bit more at ease, she let the tears fall again, but they didn’t fall as strongly, since y/n was a bit more calm just by having the boy beside her.

heeseung sat next to her and made her rest her head on his shoulder, not before wiping the tears from her face. he put his arm around her shoulders and rubbed her arm gently. “what’s wrong?” he softly asked, worried that speaking any louder would bother her.

“everything,” y/n shortly and dryly chuckled. “i can’t get many moves of this dance right and that makes me not have enough time to check on my vocals and help the girls with that as well,” she let out between small hiccups caused by the crying. “what an amazing leader, am i right?” she sarcastically asked.

“oh y/n,” heeseung spoke. “you know that’s not true.”

y/n sat up right. ”oh but it is, heeseung!” she exclaimed. “i’m not working well by myself and even less as a leader, i’m supposed to be pushing these girls forward, not making them fall behind,” she sighed. “that’s not being a good leader,” she muttered while lowering her face.

heeseung moved so he was in front of her and lifted her face up by the chin with his thumb and index finger. “y/n,“ he said, noticing the girl couldn’t meet his eyes. “y/n, look at me, please,” he softly smiled when she did so, growing even more soft towards her when she looked at him with saddened eyes. he recognized that stare, since he had it not many weeks ago, at the start of the survival. he felt terrible knowing that she was going through such painful times like he also did.

“i know it’s hard to be a leader,” he continued. “but you need to remind yourself that you’re not the only person in this team, so you don’t have to do everything alone,” a pause. “i’m sure georgie, anna and seungcha know this, and they’ve been trying to lift some weight off your shoulders, but you’re not letting them.”

“i don’t want to burden them with anything, seung,” she worried, not noticing the name she added at the end of the sentence.

heeseung’s heart skipped a beat when she called him that, not having heard that nickname before. nevertheless, he focused on the conversation at hand. “but you’re not burdening them, you’re just asking for their help, and that doesn’t make you any less stronger or a worse leader,” he gave her a reassuring look. “in fact, it shows that you know when to be in charge and when to make others step up while you focus on improving your own skills,” he told her. “besides, i know for a fact that you don’t do ‘many dance moves’ wrong because i’ve seen you practise this song and you’re almost flawless.”

“‘almost’, you said it yourself, not completely,” y/n observed.

“that ‘almost’ can be perfectly fixed and turned into a ‘fully’,” heeseung countered. “and i can help you with that, if you don’t want to ask any of your teammates so they can focus on themselves a bit more until tomorrow.”

“you’d do that?” the girl asked.

heeseung chuckled. “why not? it’s not like you still hate me and i don’t want you near me.”

y/n looked at him with a mix of surprise and guilt. “i never hated you, heeseung,” she said. “sure, we fought and collided, but i never felt an ounce of hate towards you.”

the older looked away for a few seconds before meeting y/n's eyes once again. “well,” he smiled. ”younger me was dumb enough to think that you hated my guts.”

“younger you was very wrong, then.”

“and i’m glad he was,” heeseung smiled. “you know what? how about we start over?”

“what-”

“hi!” the boy cut her off, reaching his hand towards her. “i’m lee heeseung, and you?”

y/n giggled at what he was doing, but still played along. “song y/n,” she shook his outstretched hand. “nice to meet you.”

heeseung squeezed her hand before letting it go and looking at y/n. they both started laughing at what just happened, and he looked at her as their laughter died down. “there’s the smile i like,” he said in almost a whisper. “you look much better when you smile.”

y/n was amused at his words, trying her hardest to ignore the thousands of butterflies in her stomach that suddenly showed up because of him. she didn't want to admit it, but she was starting to fall for the boy.

feeling the sort of awkward tension between them, heeseung got up, grabbed the phone y/n was using and opened spotify. he searched for a song and pressed play, giving the girl a wide smile when snap shoot by seventeen boomed out of the speakers.

the boy started to dance around and acted silly from time to time so he could get a laugh out of y/n. at one point, he made her stand up and dance with him, not caring about making a fool out of himself, only focusing on the girl next to him and making her forget the bad thoughts she had carved into her mind.

his efforts worked, because y/n started singing the song out loud and laughed from time to time when heeseung made a weird move. when the song ended and second life started to play, the pair stopped fooling around.

y/n grabbed both of heeseung’s hands and, after some hesitation, pulled him into a hug. “thank you, seung,” she whispered to him, now actually being aware of the nickname. “i’m glad we can start over.”

heeseung returned the hug and rubbed her back. “i’m glad too, y/n, really glad.”

while both were sharing an embrace, they didn’t notice the two figures at the door. it was georgie and anna, the first one looking at the pair with a soft expression and the second with a smirk on her face. “told you they were not going to be rivals all their lives,” anna whispered, not wanting to get caught. “you owe me 10.000 won.”

“ugh,” georgie complained as they both went back to their practice room. “i thought you had forgotten about that.”

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