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#hello.....me again two albums later
reverie-starlight · 16 days
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{need you now- hawks}
y’all remember need you now by lady antebellum?
gn!reader, no physical descriptions. angst-ish? kinda fluffy. I’ll be doing a part two of this from keigo’s perspective eventually.
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you can’t sleep.
this has been happening more and more lately, and you wonder how much more you can take without starting to hallucinate.
he’s back home from a mission now, which you only found out because of one of his fan accounts. well- “home”. he’s been staying in the luxurious house the commission kept aside for him. nothing homely about it according to keigo, but it’s not like he has much of a choice.
not after you got caught up in the argument and told him you wanted nothing to do with him.
you had shrugged it off when you saw the post, not knowing if it’s been too long to try and reconcile, but now you’re going down memory lane, holding back tears as you flip through the photo album he made you.
you fight yourself to stay off your phone, but you get to a photo of him kissing your cheek and you can’t stop yourself any longer. the loneliness you’ve been feeling all this time finally wins out.
the clock reads 1:15 AM.
is he even awake right now?
it’s been a month… and he’s always so busy, do you even cross his mind anymore? he always seems to be on yours.
you call anyway, against your better judgement and your heart lurches into your throat when he actually answers.
after two rings, at that.
“hello?” his voice both soothes you and chills you to your bones at the same time.
“hi keigo,” you whisper.
“hi, ba-“ you think he’s about to call you baby out of habit and you wish he hadn’t stopped himself. “did you need something?”
he sounds… somber. solemn. sad.
not at all like the keigo you love.
guilt pools in your stomach at the mere idea of you hurting him this badly.
“I…” you bite your lip. “I miss you.”
you hear his breath hitch. “really?”
you wish you could see his expression and figure out what he’s feeling. he’s always been so good at keeping his voice free of emotion.
granted, he always tried to turn that skill off around you, so you gather that he must be feeling guarded.
you keep going. “I’m so sorry for that night, keigo. I said things that I didn’t mean and I regret it so much… I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
he’s quiet on the line for a few beats and then and exhaled “I’m sorry too, baby. we both said some pretty awful things, didn’t we?”
you laugh, but it sounds a bit more like a sob to you. “yeah,” your voice breaks. “keigo, I… I need you here with me. can you please come over so we can talk about this?”
he clears his throat, likely working overtime to continue to keep the growing emotion out of his voice, but it sounds thick when it breaks anyway. “y-eah. yeah, I can come over. I need you too. I’ll be there soon, okay? unlock the window for me, sweetheart.”
he hangs up and you quickly move to do as he asked.
five minutes later, he’s on your balcony, sliding the glass and slipping into your room.
he immediately wraps you in his arms and your body, once cold and empty, fills with a warmth only he could provide.
he’s whispering words into your scalp. “I love you, y’know that? I love you too much to ever want to break up.”
you nod against his chest, letting the tears flow freely. “I love you too. I’m sorry,” these words are repeated between the two of you- they shoot out of your mouth and hit his chest, sinking into his skin and bubbling up his throat only for them to hit your scalp and absorb into your brain, then fall out of your mouth again like a well oiled machine working overtime.
but there’s nothing habitual about these phrases- as is the case for any time you say them, they’re promises.
promises that will never be broken again.
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I’ve had this idea for a while and I finally wrote it :3
AND I’m gonna work on this from his POV, which I’m almost more excited abt than this one 👀
@emmyrosee sum angst (ish)
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think-like-a-poet · 5 months
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Traitor- CL16
Part 1- Traitor ( you are here)
Part 2- Take me back to the night we met
Part 3- Bust your windows out your car
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Boyfriend Charles Leclerc x singer Fem!Reader
Summary: You found out that your boyfriend cheated on you and your friends help you pack up.
wc: 1200+
A/N: I am using Alex for the photos, but of course no hate to her.
F1Gossip
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F1Gossip: Charles Leclerc spotted on a yacht with a mysterious woman. Are Charles and singer Y/N L/N, his 'current' girlfriend, broken up after five years of dating?
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Cl16ferarri: Charles nooo
Y/NisBest: All Men do is lie
F1Ferarrifan: I can't defend you anymore Charles. WHYYYY
Y/n/Charles: They were suppose to get married.
-> clsuppermarcy: they were together for 5 years. How can that not mean anything to him???
Lovegossip: Maybe they just broke up. He didn't have to cheat.
User682: Home wrecker
LebeYN: I feel a new album coming
-> SingerF1: I hope so
HateYm: Finally, i hated her
-> Supportynalways: Fuck off
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You couldn't believe it. When you opened up Twitter and saw that your boyfriend, now an ex-boyfriend, was trending you didn't expect it to be because of this. Charles had been spotted with a woman on a yacht. They were standing to close to each other, to close to be friends. Your gut feelings were confirmed when you saw the next photo. They were laying on a sunbed, this woman on top of Charles, making out. The next photo was Charles kissing her, it kept going.
You had felt sick to your stomach by the look of it. How could you be so stupid to let this happen. He had told you that he was going to a meeting with his team. Well this looked highly unprofessional and definitely a job for HR. Did those five years mean nothing to him?
You had gotten up from the couch to pack your bags. You were still in your apartment, in Charles apartment. You tried to get everything in your suitcases, not wanting to go back and see Charles. You know that if he asks to forgive him you wouldn't be able to resist him.
You heard your phone ringing and saw that it was Pierre. Not knowing if Pierre already knew and wanted to talk about that or if it was an emergency, you picked up. "Bonjour Pierre," you greeted through the phone. You placed the phone on the duvet so you could continue while speaking. "Salut, are you okay?" he asked right away. Was Pierre really asking you this, probably knowing what is going on. Being Charles' s best friend he should not be doing this.
Placing some clothes inside the suitcase you answered "Never been better," The answer was filled with a thick layer of sarcasm. Tears were now streaming down your face as you tried to keep your breathing steady. "I am going to get you with Kika. We will be there in 20 minutes, please don't leave." you heard a car start in the background and you couldn't believe what was happening. Even though you, Pierre and Kika were close, you were friends with them because of Charles. Charles had been the one to introduce you to his best friend, who later became one of your closest friends. "You don't have to. I can just take a cab to the airport, you don't have to ruin your time." you snicked.
You heard a voice in the background of the phone and before you knew it Kika's voice was filling the phone speaker. "Hello Honey, don't even try to resist. We will pick you up. You are in no state to be alone. We will get some take out and watch a movie. " you smile at her comment. You love her for this.
"Wouldn't it be weird for Pierre. I mean that jerk is his best friend." you heard a soft 'put it on speaker' before hearing the french mans voice again. "He is, but not right now. I don't tolerate cheating. I will not take his side on this." laughing you finally agree with their suggestion of picking you up. "Alright, I am still packing so you don't need to be so fast. I am trying to get five whole years into two suitcases. "
Everywhere you looked in the apartment it reminded you of Charles. He had asked you to move in after 1 year of dating and you had abruptly moved all your possessions into his apartment. It had become your home. You had filled it with furniture you found in stores. Your plants were in all the Corners and there was no way to take those all with you. Pictures of you and Charles were standing on your nightstand, his eyes looking right at you. Had you been so blind to see that it was all fake?
He hadn't even tried to call you after the gossip was all on the internet. You knew that he had seen it, that boy was always looking up his own name. He had to know what people were thinking of him. He had seen the pictures, seen the way people were thinking and he didn't even try to talk to you.
You heard a knock on the door and screamed that the door was open. Not even ten seconds later Kika was by your side and took you into a hug. "I am so sorry honey. Men are truely awful." you couldn't help but let tears stream down your face as your wrapped your arms around the Portuguese woman. "Don't let your boyfriend hear that." you joked and
"I am not here to judge, only to carry your stuff out of here. I have an extra box for your books."He held up a big carton box, two more laying next to him "I don't know if everything fits if you need more stuff in these, but at least more than those suitcases. " Pierre walked towards the bookshelf which was mostly filled with your books. You have always adored reading, but because of your singing career you didn't have much time for it. "Just tell me which one are you favorites and I put them all in and move them to my car. We do need to hurry a bit because I know that Charles is on a flight back."
Of course that man was coming back home. That is why she wanted to leave so fast as she could to do everything to avoid that jerk. "If you can grab all the limited edition and hardcover ones first that would be great. For the rest just fill them with what space is left. I am really thankful for your help." Pierre shrugs his shoulders as if it wasn't a big deal. He started to place all the books carefully into the boxes. Kika had walked to your bathroom to get your make up and skin care products.
After ten more minutes of packing up and checking if you had all the important stuff, you three left the apartment and walked towards Pierre's car with the suitcases. Kika went to sit next to you in the back and Pierre behind the wheel. "What do you want to eat?" the model asked. You didn't really mind so long it wasn't ice cream. Charles had taken a lot of his own brand home but his trainer didn't let him eat it, so you had been trying to get rid of all those tubs by eating them. "I just want some sloppy, salty McDonalds fries. And maybe a burger."
Pierre had put it on the radio and started to drive to the main road. "McDonalds it is."
Part 2
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wearebarca · 5 months
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3. Captured // Alexia Putellas x Original character pt. 3
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Part 1 part 2 part 3
synopsis: Rosalie has never stayed too long at the same place. When the opportunity of a lifetime presents itself critical moment in her life, the photographer decides to once again leave behind what she knows and joins the staff of Europe's best football team.
word count: 4,3K
18 + (eventually)
A/N: Hello, notify me if you'd like a little album of the pictures Rosalie takes. Spanish is from google translate so please be nice. French is my first language so all should be good on that part. Enjoy.
The question took the brunette by surprise. She could see that the footballer was getting more comfortable around her but she did not think that the woman would ask such a personal question. The subject had always been quite sensitive for the Canadian but, for unknown reasons she felt that, here, in this empty facility, with the catalonian trusting her with this whole process, she felt like she could share this bit of her story.
“ My uncle was a wedding photographer. When I was younger, he used to bring me with him to some weddings and have me play his little assistant. He would give me one of those single use cameras and tell me to capture what I found beautiful.” The memory put a nostalgic smile to the woman’s face. To this day, she still incredibly misses her uncle and wishes that he could see her today. 
“My parents were busy people, so my uncle took me under his wing. He taught me everything he knew and encouraged me to pursue this passion and helped me make a career out of it.” She raised her camera and snapped a shot of the blond who was listening with a small smile on her face.  “ Can you angle yourself towards the left please?” 
The blond moved to the side and for the first time tonight, really took the time to look at the brunette. Her hair was in a messy bun with a few strands escaping and framing her face. Her high waisted jean shorts showed off her long legs. She had on an oversized gray grandad cardigan on top of her black t–shirt. The sleeves of her sweater were slightly too long and went over her hands. The brunette looked comfortable and at ease, she was relaxed and completely in her element. She looked nothing like the photographer’s Alexia had worked with in the past. She was used to flamboyant people who yelled orders at their models or were constantly harassing her with their camera, not this slightly awkward, caring, beautiful woman who was willingly sharing her story with the footballer.
“ He must be an incredible photographer.”
“ He was yes,” The brunette’s expression dimed at that, Alexia suddenly felt bad for bringing the subject but the smaller woman motionned to her that everything was ok and continued. “  Eleven years ago he was diagnosed with bone cancer. He died a year later, not long after my eighteenth birthday.”  
“ I am sorry,”
“ Don’t be, I’m happy to talk about him,” She said smiling, “ What about you? Why football?”
“ My dad, he loved football. He was always very supportive and proud. He got sick.” The blond said, looking down, not wanting the photographer to see her be vulnerable. Rosalie felt the shift in the atmosphere and put down her camera. “ He said that he would not die before seeing his daughter play for Barcelona’s first team, but he went two months before I reached our goal.” 
The brunette wanted to hug the girl standing in front of her but could not decide if she would be comfortable enough to do so. “ I am sure he is extremely proud of what you have accomplished, La reina”, the name earned the smaller woman an eye roll from the footballer who shifted in a different position for the photographer. 
“ Ok, let’s get this shoot over with, I think we both deserve to go home and finally relax.” They finished up quickly and Rosalie was quite happy with the pictures that came out. While she uploaded the pictures to her computer, the blond helped picking up the equipment. Grateful for her help, the brunette promised the captain that she would bring her coffee next week as a thank you.
They walked out of the empty training center as the sun was starting to set. When the brunette reached her small car, she turned around to see the taller woman standing awkwardly behind her. 
“ I just wanted to thank you for making this shooting so casual and easy.”
“ Of course, anything to make you comfortable, Alexia.” She grabbed the blond’s hand and gave it a light squeeze. “ Have a good weekend Capitana,” 
“Thank you,” The blond started to walk towards her own car but turned back around after a few steps. 
“ Bonne nuit Rosalià.”
The morning air was crisp against her sweat coated skin and the breeze coming from the sea kept the brunette cool even after running for an hour. It was still incredibly early in the morning and the only sounds that could be heard were the odd car passing and the sound of her feet hitting the pavement. Early morning was her favorite time to go run. It allowed her to be completely submerce by the calmness of the still sleeping city. Rosalie didn’t often run with music, preferring to listen to the sounds of her own steps, which acted as some sort of metronome for the torrent of thoughts running in her head lately. 
It had been four days since her shooting with the captain and still, the whole ordeal seemed to be the subject her brain would drift back to whenever the French-Canadian would let her mind run free. The fact that the blond seemed to make tremendous effort to stay as far as she could from the photographer had not helped the questions that were quickly multiplying in her head. 
Rosalie somehow thought that after that night, Alexia would be more approachable and less standoffish. But clearly the woman was not as comfortable as she thought with how vulnerable they had gotten and now she was probably regretting telling the brunette so much. Or maybe she thought that Rosalie went too far by sharing her story with the footballer. Whatever the reason was, the results were still the same. 
Later today, the team will be taking off towards Sevilla for a two day trip. They would all meet at the training center and take the team bus towards the airport. Flying had always been a tricky thing for Rosalie. When she was a teenager she had been on a plane with extremely violent turbulence that had scared the girl and ever since, flying had been one of the woman’s biggest fears. Her friends had always found the thing ironic, since the brunette's job required Rosalie to fly frequently and said that she should’ve gotten used to it by now. But nonetheless, every time the photographer simply thought about flying, she would get restless and anxiety would start creating a pit in her stomach. 
This was the reason why she was currently out at such an ungodly hour, trying to literally run away from her anxious thoughts. Around her she could see that the small coffee shops that were lined on the streets were starting to set up their front patios in order to open and the smell of freshly baked pastries was floating in the morning air. A quick look at her watch told her that she still had a good three hours before Lucy and Keira would arrive at her apartment to pick her up, meaning that she still had time to hit  the half marathon mark before heading back.
She wasn’t used to running this long on morning runs, but she had gone over her training program with Sara, one of the coaches and switched up her training to make it more challenging. So far her breathing was good and she could feel the slight burn of her legs but overall, her pace was good and she was more than satisfied with her time. 
Sara had been a true angel this past week. She had helped the runner organize a new training plan that was focused more on endurance rather than speed. Rosalis had always struggled with long distances which was why marathons were her least favourite type of races. She was extremely hard headed though so she was still focused on mastering this type of event. 
She even went as far as going running with the Canadian during the weekend. She was quite impressed by the level of fitness the brunette was displaying and found that she very much appreciated the company of the French-Canadian. After their run they had stopped at a local café and had agreed to room together during the upcoming trip. 
When Rosalie arrived at her apartment complex, she noticed the couple’s car parked by the door. She checked her watch to see that she technically still had at least an hour and a half before they were supposed to be here. She opened her door to come face to face with a sleeping form on her couch and Lucy running around in her kitchen.the smell of crêpe was wafting in the space.
“ Took you long enough,” The older woman whispered, handing Rosalie a fresh cup of coffee.
“How did you even get in here?”
“ You’re the one who left her door unlocked Rosie, which is not very safe darling you should be more careful.” 
The blob of  blankets on the couch stirred enough to reveal disheveled blond reddish hair. “ Lucy, please shut your mouth. I'm trying to sleep here.”
Rosalie made her  way to the living room and jumped on the woman who screamed at the Canadian to get off.
“ Frenchy you smell like ass go shower, Mama Bronze isn’t done with food anyway.” 
After her shower the brunette put on some comfortable clothes consisting of the staff’s tracksuit pants, a white t-shirt with the Barcelona logo and the Nike club vest that had quickly become one of her favorite articles of clothing. When she came back in the kitchen, everything had been picked up and the kitchen island was dressed up with the food. Lucy and keira were already sitting down and shoveling down food.
“ Mais quel bande d’animal, sincèrement? Vous ne pouviez pas attendre que j’aille fini?”
“ Tais toi femme et viens manger.” Lucy replied with her mouth full.
“ I regret teaching you French, I hope you know that.” She sat down and sipped on her coffee. She wasn’t hungry due to the knot that kept her stomach in check. Knowing that the younger woman would most likely not be able to eat due to her nervousness, Lucy got up and pulled out from the fridge a protein smoothie she had made at home before coming over. 
“Here, at least drink this, you just came back from what I assume was a big run. You gotta put something in you.”
Once breakfast was over, Rosalie finished packing up her camera bag while the girls were loading her bags in the car. The drive to the training center was quiet. Keira was still half asleep and Rosalie was simply too stressed to engage in conversation. Lucy didn’t mind the silence, she was relaxing and enjoying the time spent with two of the most important people in her life. 
The bus ride with the team was more or less the same, with everyone in  pretty much the same state as Keira. As they got closer to the airport, Rosalie’s nerves became worse. Her knee was bouncing up and down and the woman kept zoning out, unable to keep listening to Martina who was going on about a rumor about some people working in management. Thanks to Marcello’s participation in the conversation, Rosalie’s state remained relatively unknown. Or so she thought. 
A few seats behind her, Ingrid, Alexia, Mapi, Keira and Lucy were all sitting together. Knowing that the younger girl was quite fragile at the moment, Lucy had kept a close eye on her. 
“ Hermana, you keep watching Rosie, is everything good?” Mapi wondered, stretching her neck to catch a glimpse of the photographer. 
“She hates flying, it affects her a lot. I just don’t want her to get too bad, you know » Alexia had also noticed the change in the brunette. The normally bubbly woman looked pale and uncharacteristically quiet. 
« Can we do something to help? » Ingrid asked.
« Not really, nothing really distracts her in this situation. We just have to let her process this and stay close, just in case. » Keira replied. They were used to flying with the brunette and had tried everything to help her calm down but nothing really did the trick. She usually would put her headphones in and grip the seat as  hard as she could until they would land. 
Lucy got up and excused herself. Alexia watched her make her way to the front of the bus where the coaches, therapist and the rest of the staff were. “What is she doing?”
“ I think she’s trying to figure out who’s sitting with Frenchy on the plane.” Keira answered, turning towards her girlfriend.
“ They are close, Si?” Alexia’s curiosity had gotten the best of her. She wasn’t jealous, she could see that Lucy and Keira cared a lot about the green-eyed woman and she did not understand why, but she wanted to know as much as she could about her. 
“ Yeah, Like sisters they are. Lucy’s very protective of her, she does have much family. We’re hers now, you know.” Keira smiled as she watched Lucy walk back to her seat, but not without stopping to drop a granola bar on The Canadian’s lap and threatening her to eat it before they boarded. 
“ So who’s with her?” 
“ Apparently she’s the only staff member who didn’t get a ticket in the same area, probably because they booked it after everyone else. She’s gonna sit with the team, but we don’t know our seats yet so..” She said as she sat back down.
“ It’s ok, I can ask whoever is with her to swap with me, I’ll sit with her.” Ingrid said smiling. 
“ Thank you Ingrid,” Lucy said, visibly more relaxed knowing that the brunette would be with someone she seemed to trust.
At the airport, security went smoothly and the team collected their boarding passes only to be called moments later to the gate. The speed at which everything was going was a godsend for Rosalie who was too focused on making sure she had all her documents all the while taking pictures of the team, to have time to think about the moment the wheel of the plane would leave the ground. 
As she walked in the tunnel leading to the aircraft, Rosalie could feel her heart hammering in her chest and her palms getting increasingly sweaty. Lucy’s grounding presence helped the brunette a little but her fear was fighting hard to gain control. The photographer checked her boarding pass for the first time since receiving it to check what seat she had been assigned. 
“ where are you sitting?” The question came from Ingrid who was walking in front of them. 
“ I have B47,” her answer came put a lot more calm than the woman felt as she scanned the seats to find her own. 
“ That's good, Mapi and I are right in front of you,” As she was answering, the Norwegian stopped and picked up her bag to place it in the overhead bin, which told Rosalie that they had reached their seats. She walked the few steps that separated her from her seat, only to come face to face with the woman that had been occupying her mind for the last few days. 
Suddenly, Rosalie’s anxiety found a new target to spiral about. A hand on her shoulder pulled the photographer out of her thoughts. 
“Are you ok? We can sit together if you want? I have a few movies downloaded on my tablet. Mapi can sit with Alexia.” Ingrid asked, smiling softly at the brunette. Rosalie appreciated the dark haired girl but there's one thing that woman hated more than flying, and it was  pity. She knew that they only wanted to help her but she couldn’t help but feel like they were pitying her and she didn't want to appear weak in front of her new team, which is why she politely declined, thanking the couple and placing her belongings in the bin on top of her seat. 
The comotion caught the attention of the blond captain who had not seen who was prepared to sit next to her. She was more than surprised to see the photographer standing in the alley with a nervous small playing on her lips. 
“ Hey,”
“Hola,” Alexia said smiling, picking up her bag from the seat next to her. She sat down next to the blond and closed her eyes to try to calm herself before take off. 
Looking at the brunette, Alexia felt a strange sense of protectiveness wash over her. She wanted to make the brunette feel better, make that smile that takes her breath away appear on the photographer’s soft features. A few seats away, she could see Lucy watch them with a worried expression which Alexia answered with a reassuring smile. She would not let the brunette spiral. 
Surprisingly, Alexia was not the first one to speak. “ I am sorry if I overstepped during the shooting. I didn’t want to male you feel uncomfortable.” She said, eyes still closed and head thrown back. If she was to sit with the blond for this trip, might as well try to make it a little less awkward. 
“ What do you mean?”
“ I don’t know, I just  don’t want you to think that I’m probing your personal life.”
“ No, no I did not think that, do not worry,” the footballer took a second to think about what she was going to say next. She was aware of her own behaviour towards the photographer. The woman made her nervous and she felt like with the brunette, she did not need to put on a controlled facade like with the rest of the media team, and that scared the Ballon d’Or winner. Alexia hated feeling like she wasn’t in complete control of herself, so the easiest solution in her mind was simply to keep her distances. But staying away from the brunette did not appease her curiosity. “ I am very sorry if I made you feel this way. I appreciate your presence Rosalia.” 
The blond’s small confession made Rosalie slightly relax, enough for a small smile to escape her lips. She turned her head towards Alexia, who felt a warm feeling take place at the sight. “ I appreciate your presence as well.” 
The plane jolted, signaling the brunette, who had momentarily forgotten where she was, that they would be taking off very soon. She quickly grabbed the arm rest and panic flooded brain. Alexia, who had seen the brunette deteriorate, did the first thing that came to her mind. She grabbed the hand that was gripping the arm rest and held it with her own. She reached with her other hand and gently turned the photographer’s face towards her. Green met Hazel and the brunette was instantly captured by the depth of the footballer’s gaze. 
“You’re ok, hey look at me, breathe with me ok?” The blond took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her lips. The brunette followed the footballer’s lead, her eyes never straying from Alexia’s. “ bien, lo estás haciendo muy bien”
Alexia’s words ignited a small flame at the pit of the photographer’s stomach which successfully calmed some of the anxiety, but replaced it with an odd feeling that the French-Canadian was simply not ready to face yet. 
“ Here take this, it'll help with the pressure,” the captain pulled out a pack of gum and popped two pieces in Rosalie’s hand. The first bite surprised the photographer who made a face that pulled a chuckle from the footballer. 
“ What kind of psycho chews cinnamon gum?”
“Hey it’s good don’t be mean,” the woman answered with a hurt expression. She could see that Rosalie had calmed down quite a bit, but the deadly grip she still had on the blond’s hand showed her just how sacred the photographer was. Suddenly, they could feel the plane gain some speed and the wheel lifting off the ground. The brunette’s gaze shifted quickly towards the small window as panic clouded her eyes.
“ no, no sigue mirándome” With her hand still on Rosalie’s face, she drew the brunette closer still. Only a few inches separating the two. Rosalie could smell Alexia’s perfume, something sweet, like strawberries. She smelled like summer, it was intoxicating. She didn’t understand what the blond had said but it did not matter, since as soon as her gaze met hers, the blond smiled sweetly and Rosalie forgot once again where she was. 
“ Tell me one of your happiest memories,” The French-Canadian was surprised by the blond’s question. She had gone from ignoring the photographer to taking care of her during takeoff. She knew that Alexia was simply trying to distract her, but the curiosity she could see shining through her eyes made the brunette realize that maybe, the football player didn’t hate her after all. 
“ My first triathlon, it would have to be one of the most meaningful things in my life.” She answered.
“ Tell me about it, si?” 
“ It was a few years ago, my uncle loved triathlons. He used to do one every summer. He also volunteered as a photographer for the races. When I got older I would volunteer with him and he used to say that I would be a great triathlete if I wanted.” She said, smiling at the memory. 
“ He knew that my football days were over since I had gotten injured and needed surgery on my ankle. He said that once I’d be on my feet again I should give it a try. But I used to think that I would hate running, it was the part I hated the most during training.” Rosalie’s expression darkened. 
“When he died, I thought that it would be a good way to honour him in a way, the training was so hard. I had never swum before and my cardio wasn’t great coming back from injury.” She took a deep breath and her gaze left Alexia’s to shift to their intertwined fingers. 
“ But the rush of crossing the finish line was electric. It felt like I made him proud.” She looked back up only to see the captain's face lighting up along with hers. 
A few seats in front of the two, Lucy was witnessing the whole thing along with Keira. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing. In the time they had known her they had never seen her be so relaxed on a plane, nor being so physically close with someone she had just met. She had always been a bit weird about physical touch, it had taken a while before she started to relax whenever the English women hugged her. But at this moment, hand in hand and only a few inches separating their faces, the photographer looked comfortable, happy almost. 
The sound indicating that you could take the seat belts off pulled the two women out of their little bubble. Realizing that she was still gripping the footballer’s hand, Rosalie slowly untangled her fingers from Alexia’s and slightly pulled away from her. 
“Thank you for distracting me,” 
“My pleasure, I am always happy to know more about you Rosalia” The footballer turned around and pulled out her headphones from her case. Rosalie, still surprised by the blond’s statement, put one headphone back in her ear, letting the other one dangle in on her chest and closed her eyes, listening to the calming sound of her music, all the while keeping an ear out in case anything happened. 
A few minutes passed, not much could be heard around. Everyone was either on their phones or had put a movie on their screen. Rosalie could see from the space between seats that Mapi and Ingrid were snuggled up and watching The Lion King on their tablet. An intense shuffling sound pulled her attention away from their screen to see Alexia intensely searching for something in her bag.
“ Ah mierda , where are they?” She sounded frustrated enough for the brunette to lean in to see.
“ Are you ok?”
“ Si, I think I did not bring my headphone charger and they just died,” The blond said frustrated. 
“ Here,” The brunette took her headphone that was resting on her chest and offered it to the footballer. “ we can share if you’d like, I’m not using them both.” She said smiling. 
“ You don’t mind?” 
“Of course not, it’s the least I can do after you helped me like that.” She said, getting closer so the wire wouldn’t pull her other headphone out. “ What do you usually listen to?” 
“ You can leave on what you were listening to, I just don’t like working without music.” The blond said, pulling out her laptop. Rosalie pressed play again and the soft piano song started again in her ear. After a moment, the blond stopped typing and spoke again. 
“ This is nice, very calm, what is it called?” 
“ This is Interlude by this group called London Grammar. The singer’s voice is so powerful, it’s one of my favourite groups.” she said, happy to share her music with the blond.
“ Good, I will look them up then.” The blond went back to her work, softly humming to the music in her ear. Meanwhile, Rosalie was starting to feel like her lack of sleep and intense morning run were slowly taking a toll on her body. Alexia’s calm and grounding presence, along with her perfume that flooded her senses every time she took a breath allowed the photographer to relax enough for her eyelids to become heavy. Slowly her whole body became heavy and her head lolled to the side, resting gently on Alexia’s shoulder. 
At the contact, the footballer went rigid, but relaxed as soon as she realized that the photographer had finally succumbed to sleep, after being on edge all morning.  Knowing she could not work without disturbing the brunette, Alexia closed her laptop and relaxed in her seat, letting the soft music guide her towards sleep as well.
A/N: feedback is appreciated
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lumosinlove · 4 days
Text
Write Me In
Part Five
~
His office felt weird. New York felt weird. Even being with Cassie felt weird. Leo was so groggy in his real life that sometimes, when he was washing his face or sitting in a meeting or grabbing a bagel for lunch, he wondered if he had just been sleeping that whole time with Finn and Logan. He wouldn’t put it past himself to dream up something like that. Leave it to him to think making dinner for two of the biggest names in the music industry was a daydream. And the kissing, of course, but he spent far more time thinking about salt water in Finn’s hair and the way Logan looked walking around the markets. It was all smeared gold in his mind. And then there were the dirty dreams which he kept accidentally thinking about in meetings.
The article was going to lead this month’s issue, which meant it would come out right as Finn and Logan started up their tour again. A crew was being sent out to Nice for the cover shoot and Leo had been so jealous when he found out that he’d had to excuse himself from the meeting for a moment. He missed them. He probably scrolled through their messages too much.
The thread started when Leo had settled into a cab and opened the app to text them that he’d landed, only to find an incoming FaceTime call interrupting him. Leo had saved their numbers under their initials—as if that would really fool anyone. So, when Finn’s first FaceTime had popped up, he’d been more than surprised to find difficult little rock star calling him instead, complete with a photo that Finn seemed to have taken himself—him and Logan basking in the sun, hair wet from the ocean and cheeks smushed together.
Leo had answered with, “and what’s Logan saved under then?”
Finn had just grinned and ran off screen—presumably to grab Logan’s phone because a second later, Leo got a text of !! from grumpy<3
Leo figured that was subtle enough to keep. He’d pushed his headphones into his ears and let Finn’s voice fill his head as the city rose up and greeted him in its sunset.
Somehow, without so much as a ripple, talking to them had started feeling like talking to old friends. Once a day. Twice a day. Photographs of their lunches and messy work spaces in between. When Leo received his fist voice memo, he’d had to lock himself in the bathroom at work and breathe a few times before hitting play.
“Hi, Le,” Finn’s voice said. “Okay—we’re writing today. Lo, hello, say hi.”
“Hi, hey,” Logan said, then let out a wicked cough. “Sorry, Finn made me do one of those ginger shots and I’m in hell.”
Leo covered his laugh with his hand.
“Shut up, it’s good for you,” Finn replied. “Okay, anyway. So, this is called—oh, I’m gonna be on the piano. But this is—and I’m gonna try to play it straight through.”
“Stop interrupting yourself,” Logan said, then it sounded like he got closer to Finn’s phone. “It’s called Neon Signs and it’s off of the new album, and we know your editor wanted you to hear one more song for the piece so—ouais. Go, Finn.”
“I was going to say I’m on the piano and on the album it’s also piano. So. There.” He laughed and played a few chords. “Okay. It’s about one of the times when we almost got together, but we didn’t. We were at a bar that we weren’t old enough for.”
“And Finn got us stuck outside because they wouldn’t let us back in,” Logan said.
“Fool them once, and all that,” Finn cut in.
“It was freezing.” Logan’s voice, then a pause. “And I kissed him.”
“Again,” Finn said, laughing. “Anyway, spoilers. Here we go.”
There were a few seconds of dead air. Just Finn breathing. Leo pressed his headphones against his ears and kicked up his volume in time to hear Logan whisper something in French and Finn hush him.
I wanted you to meet me outside.
We’re not old enough to drink, no, not quite.
And leaving this bar means risking getting stuck out in the cold.
But I said ‘follow me’ you said ‘all right.’
Pulling up your hood against the frost bite.
And now that we’re here, there are too many things I want you to know.
But somehow I can tell tonight is not when you’ll be told
That just the look of you beneath that neon sign
Sure is something to behold…
It’s soft and blue…
Like me and you…
Maybe I’ll do this forever,
Only kiss me when it’s snowing.
Cause at least it isn’t never,
Though I can’t see where we’re going.
If only that light from that neon sign
Made you see me
Just as brightly
Oh God
Where’s my,
Neon,
Bar sign?
One that you can read.
Put it over me.
Bathe me in signals and the arrows pointing where I want to lead.
“Oh,” Leo said softly to himself—reacting to the lyrics, but also to Finn’s piano. It was a meandering, sad tune. As if even the music wasn’t sure what its next note would be. The song took them out of winter next and through to summer. Into humidity, and strings lights and patios and dorm rooms, sweltering with the door closed and no AC. A goodbye—was this them going to college? And it was Logan singing. Fall and desperate for something to last. Finn fumbled a little on the piano, cursed softly, and despite the next sad lyric, Leo could hear Logan smiling. Instead walked into my own past. You’re sitting on the bed and I’ve never felt less or more alone.
Leo listened to it four times. It was hypnotizing. Yes, he knew the story. He’d been given the precious task of telling the story—but they were telling it, too.
Meanwhile, the article was going through drafts and drafts. He’d fought hard to keep the section about Logan’s market in. His editor hadn’t seen the relevance, and maybe Leo’s relevance wasn’t entirely music-based, but those markets were in the songs. Maybe not in so many words, but Logan was as gentle as his voice could be when he was there. He stood still in that space, listening to the rhythm and thrum of the people around him.
Sending cover shoot to you without me :/ Leo typed out.
Finn replied almost instantly: I’ll refuse to pose until you arrive.
Then Logan: I will lock them out.
Ha, Leo wrote.
No Ha. It’s my house.
I’m at the office—in the final meeting for the article. He thought for a second, then smiled as he typed out. Everyone’s so happy for you.
You are coming to our first show, Logan typed out, and then a few seconds later, ? accompanied it, as if Finn had forced it out of him.
I’m coming to a show. Not sure when yet, Leo said. I’m on another project and have to finish it up before—
His eye caught on his phone’s clock. Jesus. He’d been in here for ten minutes texting like a teenager between classes. Before what? Before I can come back to you. Before I can come home, before I can come back because I miss you.
The thrill that came from being able to know he missed them because he knew them was strong.
—before I can make it, he finished. Have to go back to meeting now
Finn sent him five rows or pink hearts, Logan said, we miss you, and Leo sat back down in his meeting with a smile on his face that earned him weird looks. Cassie stared at him until someone asked her a question.
~
“Okay, so you’re gonna spill all your beans now.” Cassie jabbed him gently with her fork at lunch. “Like. Right now.”
“I don’t have beans.” Leo tilted his bowl to her. “This is my mama’s chicken salad recipe. Want some?”
Cassie groaned. “Just tell me why you’re grinning at your phone like an idiot every chance you get!”
“I’m not.”
“You are, you are.”
“I’m not, I’m not.”
“Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.” Cassie grabbed onto his arm. “Tell me.”
“I’m excited for them,” Leo said. “That’s all. I’ve always looked up to them, and this is a big deal.
“So we are talking about Finn and Logan?”
Leo froze, caught. “Oh.”
It wasn’t his fault. They filled every little space of his mind. And if there was somewhere they couldn’t reach, they pressed up against that part, all warm and insistent.
Cassie threw her head back and squealed. “Leo. Tell me, tell me—”
“Oh-ho my God, they kissed me.”
Cassie stared at him, voice cutting off. Leo slapped his hands over his own mouth.
“You don’t know that,” Leo said quickly, just as Cassie made a soft, breathy sort of screeching sound.
“Wh-at?” she set her fork down with exaggerated precision. “What did you just say?”
Leo glanced around the courtyard they were in, but they were alone. In the shade, sun dappling down on them, and alone.
“They?” Cassie’s hand on his sleeve twisted the fabric. “They kissed you?”
He hadn’t meant to say a word, but the knowledge was like a fire inside of him. Being wanted like this. Being wanted by them.
Cassie started laughing, surprised and delighted. “Leo.”
“Yeah, they—apparently, um.” Leo shook his head. He didn’t even know how to say this. “They’ve been tracking my career since I just had the blog, and we were out by the fire pit and we almost—but we didn’t. And then we talked and I told them about Jack—sort of.”
Cassie’s blue eyes went wide at that, but she stayed quiet.
“And they sort of got why I was saying no.”
“You said no?”
“At first, at first.” Leo pushed his lunch away and dropped his voice. “Okay, okay, okay, sworn to secrecy.”
She squealed again through a shut mouth and hit him repeatedly in the arm.
“So, Nice,” Leo said. “Logan’s house.”
“Yeah, fuck you, by the way, meant nicely but with jealousy.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But, so that night happened where they made the move a bit—”
“What does that even mean?”
“Mm, hard to explain. They were actually—” Leo’s laugh interrupted his words. “They were so bad at it.”
“Finn O’Hara is bad at making the moves?”
“Only when he means it, apparently.”
Cassie’s waved him on. “Okay, more, I need more.”
“So, we talked it out at the markets.”
“Ah. That’s why you like those sections so much. It’s all coming together.”
“Shut up.”
“And they kissed you there?”
“No,” Leo said. “Logan kissed me, just once, and um…” Leo bit back a grin. “And then later, Finn. Mostly because—I mean we said we’d take it slow and Logan was just keeping that promise, but I may have lost some resolve with Finn because—fuck, because.”
“He’s Finn O’Hara,” Cassie said. “I think ‘fuck, because’ is a fine reason.”
“And that’s when he said they want me to come back once I’m off their project. I mean, I know I have the follow up piece but…then I’ll be done.”
Cassie had her chin in her palm, the way she sometimes did when she was thinking. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
She sat up straight. “Both…of them?”
Leo opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. “Honestly, I haven’t been even…feeling strange about that. Is that weird?”
“No,” Cassie said, shaking her head. “I mean, not if it’s working. You’re not, like…jealous?”
“No,” Leo answered. It was the truth. “I know I probably should be.”
“They are basically high school sweethearts,” Cassie said. “Like, this article, the way you describe them…That’s soulmate shit right there. I don’t mean you don’t fit with them, I’m just…”
“I know where you’re coming from, but…” Leo sighed, smiling. “And I went there, too, but it’s just not like that. I like the way they are together. The way they treat each other. I like it as much as I like the way the are with me.”
“Holy shit,” Cassie said, then laughed. “Oh man.” She pushed her lunch aside in favor of pulling her laptop out of her bag. “Holy shit, holy shit, which show do you want? Which show, Le, I want to book that all out right fucking now.”
“It’s one night.”
“Yeah, well, it’s gonna be a hell of a night.”
Leo reached forward and grasped her hand. “Don’t even joke about that with me, I’m a wreck.”
“Yeah, well, you need all the help you can get. You were there for, what, three weeks, and you just kissed?”
“I am—”
“No, I commend you, cowboy, you just have eons more willpower than I do.” She raised her eyebrows at him. “Now, which show?”
Leo had been thinking about it. Of course he’d been thinking about it. He pictured them in different cities. Walking different streets. But, in the end, there was no question. Leo wanted to be where they had figured everything out. Maybe they’d figure out each other, too.
“Italy,” Leo said. “I want Italy.”
~
He was nervous to see them, that was for sure. Cassie always followed through on her work quickly, but Leo felt like he had blinked through being home before he was staring down at an empty suitcase again. Italy. Milan. It would be warm. He’d be there for a week. Something casual for the shows. Something nice for press events. Something comfortable for…mornings? He stared in his underwear drawer for too long. When was the last time he’d had to care what he looked like in his underwear, much less what his underwear looked like. That turned into staring at his t-shirts for too long, only to pick up his Heartthrob O’Hara t-shirtand fold it into his suitcase. Then he sat on the edge of his bed and googled Logan Tremblay t-shirt. They weren’t that good. Grainy photos just plastered on fabric. He typed in Night Swimming lyric t-shirt. There were hundreds, but Leo had fun scrolling. He’d probably added too many things to his cart when he finally found what he was looking for. The shirt was white with four words in forest green on it.
OH MY
GREEN EYES
Leo bit back a smile and ordered it to be delivered tomorrow.
The next night, he was cooking dinner and squinting at his iPad, when the recipe webpage disappeared in favor of an incoming call.
“Milan?” Logan asked when Leo answered.
“Yep,” Leo said. He leaned his elbows on the counter. “Is that okay?”
“That’s longer,” Logan said.
“I know,” Leo sighed. “But it’s when I’m in between projects and can write your follow up.”
Finn mirrored his position, squeezing into the frame beside Logan. “Why don’t you come here right now? I’ll write you a note, get you out of school. Photoshoot tomorrow, you can watch us kiss on camera.” Finn snuck a hand out to grab Logan’s chin when he wasn’t looking and turned his face to kiss him, even if Logan was smiling too much to make it last.
Leo leaned forward. “I…As tempting as that is...”
“I liked it when we were your job,” Finn shot back. “You were around all the time.”
“Oh yeah? Not me,” Leo said. Finn blinked, and Leo fought a smile because he’d got him. “Kissing subjects is…”
“Fun?” Finn said. “A right we may exclusively reserve?”
Logan looked over at him with a smile and Leo was tempted to take a screenshot. He didn’t know how that would go over. He’d never taken a photograph of them himself. He knew that spooked some celebrities. In the beginning, he’d thought he’d die if he offended them. He still felt like that a bit.
“Shut up,” Logan said to Finn. “We don’t want to be Leo’s subjects.”
“I was kidding.”
“Listen,” Leo said. “It’s a right you can reserve, I’d just prefer you do it as you and not as Night Swimming.”
“Deal,” Finn said. He put his palm over the camera briefly, as if they had shaken on it. “What are you doing?”
“I’m cooking dinner.” Leo said, mimicking Finn’s sing-song—and then realized he’d basically just sung in front of Finn and tried to forget about it. “What are you doing?”
“Waiting for you to come back,” Logan said.
Leo arched a brow. “To cook you dinner?”
“Non,” Logan laughed. He rested his chin on a palm, and Leo got basically an entire screen full of those green eyes looking over—him, he realized. Logan’s gaze darted over his face like he could do it for hours. “Other things.”
Heat washed over him, and Leo bit his lip. “Hmm…Play me more songs?”
“Can do, Sunshine,” Finn said.
They kept him company while he finished cleaning up, taking him through the packet they’d been sent concerning their photoshoot tomorrow.
“We’re doing it down by the sea,” Finn said. He was lounging on the couch, Logan at his feet holding a cup of tea. “And some house shots.” He tapped the leather couch. “Probably right here. Or the kitchen…Well, if it’s the kitchen, I know what I’ll be thinking about.”
Leo laughed as he shut his dishwasher. “Yeah, that kitchen gets a lot of action when I’m there.”
“Not when I’m there,” Logan said.
“Don’t worry, baby,” Finn said, running his fingers through Logan’s hair. “We’ve got a pretty good track record in Italy, don’t we?”
~
Leo didn’t sleep much that night. He usually didn’t before a flight. Something about the anticipation. Not that this was bad anticipation. He let himself drift and think, rather than fall and worry. Still awake, but lighter. The story was out of his hands now, gone to turn into paper and ink. He would write his follow up, but then…
Just three people, Finn had said. Just three people.
On his nightstand, his phone lit up his dark ceiling. Leo turned his head. There weren’t many people who could get through his Do Not Disturb. Part of him got nervous, wondering if something was wrong, and he propped himself up on an elbow quickly, pulling the phone off its charger.
you’re awake
Three words, soft as a whisper. From Logan. Just Logan.
A moment later came the ?
Leo rolled onto his back, grinning.
are you spying on me somehow?
Finn said you have trouble sleeping, came the reply.
I do sometimes, Leo sent. And then, do you not like question marks or something?
I just thought I was right
Leo laughed out loud, all to himself.
well, I am awake.
are you okay? Logan asked.
Yeah. Just thinking.
A bit of a pause, just long enough to make Leo bite his lip.
about what?
Leo typed his reply out slowly, carefully. Savoring getting to say these words. Getting more than one kiss from you.
An immediate reply. maybe I won’t ruin it this time
Leo smiled. I think the last thing you did was ruin it.
:)
God. Smiley faces from Logan Tremblay.
go to sleep so you get here faster, Logan wrote. or just get here now.
Job—remember?
:(
Leo laughed again. I do have a surprise for you when I get there.
what is it? Logan asked immediately.
“Classic,” Leo whispered to himself, but just sent a smiley in return. Then, after a moment’s thought—
goodnight, green eyes
~
The article, when it came out, was hot as lightning. The photographs were gorgeous. Natural. They turned into each other like puzzle pieces, dressed in the muted, gentle browns of the house, and then the bright jewels of green and blue. But it was the opening show that came after it that caused the storm.
Leo didn’t get a single bit of work done—but neither did Cassie, so it was fine. He had never watched a grainy live stream closer and made Cassie go out and get him lunch so he didn’t have to get up. He brought his phone to the bathroom with him. He’d never refreshed Twitter so many times to find new photographs and videos. Finn, getting a pride flag thrown up to him at one point. The moments when they shared the microphone now sometimes ended in a kiss. A kiss. Leo was laughing and choked up all at once. Logan’s hat said rouge.
“Is there a reason you didn’t choose that show?” Cassie asked.
He’d thought about it. Being there. He could have gotten out of work—not in a I’m sort of kind of dating them and suddenly I miss them every second please let me go way but in a…this is important for the follow up way. But. He hadn’t. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to.
“This is a long time coming for them,” Leo said carefully, and found it true. “This is something they thought they’d never have. It’s theirs. And I wanted them to have it more than anything.”
Cassie’s eyes softened. She’d wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. “They better know how lucky they are if they’re getting you.”
Leo smiled and tilted their heads together, turning back to the show.
“Well, fuck,” Finn’s voice echoed through the stadium as he sat down at the piano. “You guys know what song’s coming by now, I guess.”
Rooftop, Leo thought, and shushed Cassie so harshly that she rolled her eyes and knocked him lightly on the shoulder.
Logan was still on stage, though, and getting up from behind his set. Leo’s heart leapt right into his throat.
“Something’s happening,” Leo said. “Something’s happening.”
“You shush,” Cassie said.
“Or at least you thought you did,” Finn said, then leaned back and laughed, the microphone barely catching it over the answering cheers. Logan crossed the stage, taking his time. Finn made room for him on the piano bench seat and Logan slotted perfectly against his side.
“No, look,” Finn played a few chords. “Rooftop has a special place in my heart, but it’s no part of tonight. Tonight…” He looked at Logan. “Tonight how about a little duet, Tremblay?”
Leo knew these chords. He loved these chords. And now, he could think of the lyrics that were about to come. They were probably some of the first words written about both of them letting themselves have each other…It was perfect. The crowd knew the song, too, and they were manic when Logan started playing the piano’s lower register, almost like a bass to Finn’s higher, softer melody.
A crew member brought out a second microphone and fixed it over the piano. Logan thanked him with a nod, and leaned in.
“You should have seen Finn trying to teach me piano,” his voice echoed.
Leo leaned closer to the screen. “Oh my God.”
Cassie sorted. “You’re so smitten.”
“They’re playing Keep.” 
“Yes, I know, I am a fan, too!”
I see you in the morning staring out over the waves.
I find I don’t need my instincts, never thought I’d see the day.
I could just roll over, yeah, I could close my eyes,
Cause I don’t have to grasp at glimpses, no, I’ve got my whole life.
I’ll tell anyone who asks, 
“Harmony, harmony,” Cassie said, imitating Leo’s accent.
Leo wrapped an arm around her shoulders and put his palm over her mouth. But she was right. The harmony, Logan joining in on the chorus, was exquisite.
I’ll show anyone who wants to see.
Like sea glass, or pebbles found on the beach.
Oh God, look at what I get to keep.
I’ll hold it as long as my breath lasts.
I’ll say it in all the languages they speak.
Like histories or songs sung while out at sea,
Hey Sunshine, what do you say you keep me?
Cassie made a strangled noise before Leo could. She pulled Leo’s hand away from her mouth.
“Sunshine? He just—They just changed the lyrics,” Cassie said. She got her arms around Leo’s waist and shrieked, making everyone in the office look at them. “He changed the lyrics.”
Leo was going to melt into his keyboard. Or cry? No. He was going to love them.
“I see you in the kitchen just before we go to sleep—” Finn gave his head a little, sharp shake, smiling, and when he looked up, Leo saw that he was crying, unable to sing through it. The crowd filled in. I find I don’t need my instincts, you are mine to keep.
Leo touched his lips lightly. Leo wouldn’t forget that sound, the stadium singing for them like that, even through a video. Not ever. He wouldn’t forget the feeling of knowing how much Finn and Logan deserved it. And how much he wanted them to have this. And how sweet is was when Logan played the last note, Finn wrapping an arm around him and pressing a lingering kiss to his temple, and Logan catching Finn’s tears with a gentle hand.
Finn found one of the stadium cameras, touched a hand to his mouth, and held it out.
Oh God, Leo was going to really love them.
~
Leo could feel the change in the air the moment he stepped of his airplane. Humid, but light. He rolled up the sleeves of his button-down and put his sunglasses on as he stepped into the warm afternoon. He was a little groggy from his flight, but not too bad. He was hungry, though, and in desperate need of a coffee—which he was most certainly in the right place for.
“Mr. Knut?”
Leo turned, pulling his suitcase up to his side. A man was standing there, sleek in a light gray suit and a driver’s cap. He had a neatly tripped gray beard, kind eyes, and a light British accent.
“Yes?” Leo said. “Oh, are you—”
“Mr. Tremblay’s driver, yes. Ralph, it’s a pleasure.” Ralph motioned towards his suitcase. “Might I take care of that for you, sir, on the way to the car?”
“Oh, no, that’s all right,” Leo said. “But thank you. It’s nice enough of him to send you to get me. Very kind.”
“Yes, he was very keen. This way, sir.”
Leo followed him the short distance to the car park, remarking on the weather just because he wasn’t used to being called sir. Ralph was kind about it, offering small talk right back. The car was shiny and black, the windows so dark and opaque that Leo guessed that was why Logan used it. He stored his suitcase and laptop bag and stuttered around Ralph opening his door for him.
“Oh, wow—thanks so much.”
“Of course, sir.”
Leo slid into the smooth, leather seat. The whole car smelled new. There was a water bottle waiting for him in the door side pocket, nestled into a tortoise shell cup holder. Leo took his sunglasses off just as the door shut—
And then someone was grabbing onto his shirt and tugging. An insistent, warm mouth covered his, swallowing Leo’s sound of surprise.
Logan. The warm, pine scent of him. The feeling of canvas when Leo made to touch his hair. The weight of him swinging a leg over Leo’s lap. Callouses on his hands where they smoothed up Leo’s neck.
“Hello,” Leo gasped. “Fuck.”
“Hi.” Logan barely said the word before he was kissing him again. Leo had to let his head rest back against the seat he was so dizzy with it. His mouth probably tasted sour, he was probably sweaty, maybe he even smelled from the plane, but Logan didn’t seem to care.
“Where’s—”
“Sound check,” Logan gasped, and then he had Leo’s bottom lip gently between his teeth, pulling and letting go. “He’ll be at the hotel by the time we get there.”
“You don’t need—your sound checked?”
“I need this.”
From his place on Leo’s lap, Logan put a hand on the ceiling. For a moment, Leo wondered what the hell he was in for in the back of this car, but Logan’s fingers found a button that he pushed and up a partition between them and Ralph began to rise.
“Hotel, sir?” Ralph asked as the sheet rose.
“Merci,” Logan confirmed, and then the partition cut them off in a muffled, tinted-window bubble of their own making and Logan’s hungry green eyes were all Leo was left with.
Their breathing sounded loud to Leo’s ears. He got his first good look at Logan. White t-shirt, black cotton shorts. Green hat, backwards. Tan, gorgeous, just like Leo remembered him, but even more real. A small scratch on his cheek from somewhere. He’d cut himself shaving on his chin, a little red dot. Leo reached up and took off his hat, letting his bangs fall forward in their gentle waves. They were pretty light from all the sunshine.
“Can he…” Leo whispered. “Can Ralph hear us?”
Slowly, Logan shook his head.
Leo reached up and tucked his fingers through Logan’s hair. He could have lived off of the way Logan’s eyes slipped closed. “How long is the drive?”
“Thirty minutes.”
“Hm.”
Logan’s smile looked like one of his soft, lulling songs. “What does that mean?”
Leo didn’t answer. He’d been taken by surprise, but that was fading now. All it left behind was want and relief. For now, he was done with the distance and the florescent lights of his office. He was back in Logan’s arms.
Thirty minutes felt like five. Logan’s soft sounds filled him right up as Leo kissed his neck—that was when Ralph’s gentle knock from the driver’s seat came. Leo broke off, startled. His mouth felt puffy—and good. Logan’s warm weight felt like the only thing holding him together.
“Ouais,” Logan called. “One moment.”
As Logan leaned their foreheads together, the world filtered back in. Leo became aware of the sound of a crowd outside, and had to laugh.
“Are we about to be photographed?”
“Probably a little,” Logan said. “It’s okay. You wouldn’t believe how many times Finn and I have had this happen.”
“What, got a little heavy in the car?”
Logan grinned, ducking to kiss Leo again. “Mhm.”
“That’s…” Really hot.
Logan slid off his lap, back to his side. They both spent a moment trying to pull themselves together. Logan would have to get out first, which made Leo feel a little better.
“They’ll bring your bags to the room,” Logan said. He slipped on a pair of sunglasses. “Ready?”
Hands banged against the windows, making Leo jump. There were some chants of Finn’s name, along with Logan’s, and Leo realized they didn’t know who was in the car. “I—yeah.” The room. “I think so.”
Logan considered him for a moment, then took off his own hat and placed it, bill forward, on Leo’s head.
“Oh,” Leo said. “Do I look—”
“You look how I want you to look. Merde, I want Finn to see you.” Logan grinned. “But it may be a bit much for a photo.”
Leo reached up and touched the hat. It was green and had said the word LOVE on it. That was a story Leo wanted to write. Logan could say a lot with his hats. There were whole twitter accounts dedicated to the way he hinted at future songs or albums with what was on his hat.
LOVE. Leo was wearing the word love.
“I know I shouldn’t hold your hand quite yet,” Logan began, trailing off.
Leo laughed. “That would spark some wild rumors.”
Logan looked at him over the rim of his glasses, the shadow making his green eyes bright. “Stay close to me, okay?” He popped the car door and the sound of the crowd doubled, frenzied, screaming, yearning. “Stay close.”
Leo could hear his own heartbeat. He could feel it in his throat. He did want to hold Logan’s hand. “I will.”
And Leo experienced the cameras and fans from an entirely different view. He’d followed Finn and Logan around. He’d never walked with them, not like this. Not side by side in a way that signaled to everyone he was with them.
He stuck close to Logan’s back, as promised. He caught some curious looks, felt phone cameras trained on him. The sun was bright and he was very glad for Logan’s hat. He tried to take it in, if for nothing further than that this was the biggest crowd he’d ever followed a star through from this close, but it was over in a flash. They were in a cool hotel lobby, marble and stone, and a smiling woman, motioning them to the elevator. Logan’s two security guards got in with them.
The sudden silence was loud. Logan took his sunglasses off, casually folding them into his shirt and leaning back against the wall as they rose.
“Here we go, Tremz,” one of the guards said, fist bumping Logan as he passed him through the open doors. “See you tonight. Remind Finn the dinner res he asked for is at eight-thirty.”
“Thanks, Paul.” Logan looked back from the hallway. “Leo?”
“Sorry,” Leo said and strode forward. “Thanks—Thanks, Paul.”
Paul was a massive guy, but when he smiled he looked like a teddy bear. “You got it, man.”
There was only one door on this hallway, right in front of them with a large brass knocker, and no sooner had the elevator shut than did it swing open to reveal Finn—sweaty, in a soft looking gray t-shirt and running shorts, and grinning.
“Jesus,” Logan said. “You scared me.”
“I heard the ding,” Finn said cheerfully.
He was looking right at Leo. Leo drew Logan’s hat off, trying to catch his breath.
“There were crowds,” Logan said, as if explaining.
“Yeah,” Leo said. “Are you guys famous or something?”
Finn ignored the joke. He walked right up to Leo, wrapped him up in his arms, and held on tight. Leo had maybe been expecting a kiss—probably something a tad more obvious than Logan’s sneak-attack. But the hug was better. Finn was warm. He smelled like sweat and sunscreen from being on stage.
“Hi,” Finn whispered in his ear. He pulled back, holding Leo’s cheek briefly, then gently tweaked a curl of Leo’s blond hair. “Hi, Sunshine.”
Leo covered Finn’s hand, turning his mouth against it. “Hi.”
“Come here,” Finn said, laughing. “Come in.”
“Ouais.” Logan put a hand low on Leo’s back, guiding him through the suite door. “Where’s my surprise?”
“What surprise?” Finn asked as the door shut behind them. Sure enough, Leo’s bags were waiting there, neatly side-by-side near the small kitchen.
“Not till later,” Leo said.
Logan narrowed his eyes. “How later?”
“Tomorrow later.”
Logan huffed.
Finn came up behind him, pressing a small cup into his hand. Espresso.
“Oh, how did you know?” Leo sipped it down easily. Hot and slightly sweet with sugar.
“You’re in Italy,” Finn said. Next he was wrapping an arm around Leo’s waist. “You understand that if it’s a physical surprise, he’s going to dig through your luggage?”
Leo toyed with his delicate espresso cup.“Not if I say not to.”
Finn’s chin hooked over his shoulder. Leo could feel his laugh against his skin. His strong chest against his back. His hips— “You think he’ll listen to you?”
They both regarded Logan, who was still glaring at them—and glancing at Leo’s suitcase.
“I think he will.”
“Hm,” Finn said, and Leo felt a kiss land on his neck. “I think you’re right.” Another kiss to the exact same spot. Over a mark Logan had made? “I see someone has already gotten to you.”
“I was accosted in the car,” Leo said.
“Classic.”
Logan just rolled his eyes and began dragging Leo’s suitcase into another room.
By that night, the fans who didn’t read up on their music stories had already figured out who he was. Leo Knut—last seen on the road writing the coming out piece on Night Swimming. Sure enough, Twitter was full of wearing Lo’s hat wearing Lo’s hat???
“Ooh, you’re so undercover,” Finn commented when he glimpsed Leo’s phone once they were back in the car, speeding through the night on the way to dinner. “They don’t know what’s coming for them.”
Leo clicked his phone off even as Cassie texted nice hat. He looked at Logan, at a purplish bruise Leo had left on his neck. “No, they really don’t.”
Logan covered the mark with his palm and grinned out the window. Leo laughed, looking, too, then paused.
“Hey, are we leaving the city?”
“Yep,” Finn said.
“Where?” Logan asked.
Finn shrugged exaggeratedly. He’d changed into a dark blue button down, light slacks, and pretty brown leather shoes that Leo badly wanted a pair of. He’d pushed a dark green button down towards Logan, dark trousers, and white, pristine sneakers. He’d taken one look at Leo and told him he was perfect, but Leo had showered and changed anyway. Dusty red shirt. He’d followed Finn’s lead and left the collar loose.
Logan kicked at Finn from his seat across from the both of them. Finn just stuck his tongue out and took Leo’s hand across the console between them. Leo stared at it for a moment. Finn’s pale fingers that would be playing a guitar to thousands of people tomorrow were right there wrapped up in his own.
“Where?” Logan insisted.
“Jesus, Lo, can neither of us try and surprise you? I know you found all your presents as a kid, but you’re not finding the ones I give you.” Finn dropped a wink. “I’ll give it to you when I decide.”
Apparently where was a castle. Literally a castle. Soft lights flooded up the old stones to reveal turrets and archways. A man in a tuxedo was waiting for them at the entrance. They were given champagne in thin, airy glasses and leave to roam the lit gardens before their dinner was served. The air was mild, but the feeling of Finn and Logan at his shoulders was better. Finn had something to say about every flower, every piece of architecture, as if he had studied up for this night. They ate dinner under the stars, watching fireflies dart through the greenery.
It wasn’t until they had been served an array of desserts and left truly alone that Leo thought to bring up the article and how they were doing—it was different to ask without a screen between them.
“We’re so good,” Finn said. He looked at Logan, who nodded. Finn wrapped an arm around Logan’s chair, scooting it closer to his. Leo watched him lean into him. His brown eyes flickered to Leo even as his lips brushed Logan’s skin. “Lo?”
“Ouais, I…” Logan gave up on words and tucked his face into Finn’s neck, laughing.
Leo leaned back in his chair, glad the table let him stretch his still plane-cramped legs out under the table. “It’s so nice to see you up there. Really. I can’t wait for tomorrow. You just look so…free.”
“We feel free,” Finn said. “And it’s thanks to you.” He held out a hand across the linen tablecloth and, after a moment, Leo took it. “How are you, Le?”
Leo let out a slow breath, watching the way Finn’s thumb tracked across his knuckles. “I’m…” He laughed a little. “That’s quite a question. Really quite a question.”
Logan laughed, and when Leo realized he was laughing at him, he threw a sugar coated almond at him in a neat arc across the table—which lost all its effect when Logan caught it in his mouth.
“Non, seriously.” Logan leaned more into Finn’s side. “Leo?”
Leo looked around them. They both had a knack for finding these slices of paradise. Though, lately it had been feeling like any where they were was heaven, even his own kitchen.
“Being on tour with you was wonderful,” Leo answered. “And Nice was, of course, perfect. So beautiful…God, this is beautiful.”
“Why am I sensing a but?” Finn asked, brows drawn together. Logan looked downright nervous.
Leo shook his head, bringing his other hand to hold Finn’s as well. “No. Well, yes, but not like that.”
They both looked at him expectantly. Patiently.
“You’ve been sweet in waiting for me. And honest about wanting me.”
“We fumbled and recovered,” Finn said.
“We do want you,” Logan said earnestly.
“Well, I…I hope so,” Leo said softly. Finn’s hand tightened around his.
“Yeah?” Finn whispered.
Leo nodded. Logan couldn’t quite reach with the angle, but he reached for Leo, too, hand on Finn’s wrist.
“It’s been—what? A week and a half of video calls? You know all these glorious places are amazing, but when we’re just sitting around…I mean, when we’re just talking… Or you’re watching me wash dishes, do laundry. And I start to feel like…”
He felt the words well in his throat like tears as he looked between them. He understood Cassie’s hesitation. He understood his own hesitation. He’d been nervous that he’d come back and something would have changed. Like adrenaline leaving the system. But it hadn’t.
“I’ve never not known how to be without someone before,” Leo said. “But you make me feel like I don’t remember how to be alone.”
Finn’s smile was tearful and Leo realized he felt a little like that, too, even as Finn leaned forward and kissed him. It dissolved into a laugh, into kiss to his cheek. A piece of silverware clattered to the ground as Finn tugged Leo’s chair closer and hugged him as best he could.
“Rouge, you’re pulling the table cloth, the table—” Logan’s voice came, laughing. Leo heard his chair scoot back and then there was another pair of arms around Leo’s neck, Logan leaning over the back of his chair. He managed a sloppy kiss to Leo’s mouth, despite the angle.
Leo closed his eyes and held on. He waited for Finn to make him laugh. Or Logan to say something in French. But they stayed quiet, surprising him. He peeked one eye open, only to see that Finn, whose forehead was pressed against Leo’s temple, had his eyes closed, too. Leo didn’t dare move him to try and get at Logan, but the content sigh he felt against his neck was enough to go on for him. Wind whistled through the trees around them, bring the smell of some sweet flower. Leo closed his eyes again and leaned back into Logan’s shoulder and Finn’s arm. It was like a blanket, their quiet. They’d been more serene than he’d expected from the beginning—puzzles, dinner, reading, morning runs. This was something deeper. It was as if something unhappy had finally been able to settle for them, too. The questions were still there. How will this work? What will people think? But they were muted and far off.
They looked up at footsteps on the patio, only to find a surprised waiter holding a pitcher of water.
“Ah,” the waiter said. “Pardon me. Uh…”
“Hi,” Finn said, only lifting his head. “Yeah, we’ll take the check.”
~
They laughed about it on the car ride home, the waiter’s face. Speeding through dark hills, and then streets still filled with chatter and light. Leo watched out the window as they slowed in narrower streets. It gave him a glimpses of passing faces. Laughing, eating, kissing.
Finn’s hand pressed to his thigh. “Are you composing sentences right now? I think you are.”
Leo looked over at him. “Maybe. And you?”
“I’ve been watching you two write in your heads for the last ten minutes,” Logan said. He’d stretched his legs out so their feet slotted together in the car space between them.
“Well, no one got on my lap, I had to do something to pass the time,” Leo said, squeezing one of Logan’s ankles between his own.
Logan just looked at him with bright eyes. “I don’t want to have to stop.”
Leo let his head fall back against the seat and he put his hand over Finn’s. “You just deal with that every day?”
“All day,” Finn said. “You don’t even want to know the things he says to me before we go on stage.” Finn laughed and scooted over in his seat, pressing right up against Leo’s side. “Actually, you probably do.”
No one was waiting at the hotel this time. There were no bright flashes to catch what Leo was sure was an intense flush on his cheeks. They stayed close in the elevator, their security shaking their heads at how giddy they probably sounded—all that content silence had bubbled into talking over each other and far too loud laughter. Finn fumbled a little with the hotel key, but then they were inside the suite and met with a blast of AC. Finn went to turn it down, but Logan got his hands on Leo’s waist and pulled until Leo had him pinned right up against the side of the entrance hall.
“This is how I first met you,” Leo said, staring down at him. He traced a hand under Logan’s jaw and watched the way he bared his neck for more. “I was so surprised. And you were so beautiful. And also you literally did not stop making out with Finn which was, like, okay then.”
Finn’s laugh reached them. “I asked him that after you left. I was like, how long was he standing there actually? And he wouldn’t tell me.”
“What’d you want, Lo?” Leo whispered, leaning down to kiss him softly. “Me to walk in ready to go right then?”
“Non, I wanted to see if you thought I was hot,” Logan said, then laughed as Leo pulled back to follow Finn’s voice into the living room. He called after him, “And you do!”
Finn had his dress shirt half unbuttoned and his belt in one hand, frowning at something on his phone.
“You okay there difficult rock star?” Leo asked, trying not to stare at his pale chest against the blush color.
Finn looked up, all big brown eyes suddenly—how did he do that? Switch between unbearably hot to unbearably sweet in two seconds—and smiled. “Oh. This isn’t what it looks like.” He gestured to himself with his belt. “I just wanted to change. And yeah, just tomorrow’s call times.”
Call times. Show tomorrow. Leo took a breath. Right. What time was it? Midnight? One? Leo knew they should sleep. He’d seen them on the nights before shows many times now. Logan drank mint tea. Finn read. Unless they had friends at the shows, or family, they tried to get as much sleep as they could. Logan slept in as much as he could. Finn seemed incapable of sleeping in, but he went for a run and he ordered up a big breakfast. God, Leo wanted to make them breakfast again. He wanted the way they sat with him, looked at him, made him coffee.
Leo nodded. He emptied his pockets, setting his phone and wallet on a side table. “I hope it’s not too early? I know your routines the night before a show and this isn’t it. It’s early for me, technically. But it’s late for you.”
Leo’s eyes drew down Finn’s body again. The half-untucked shirt. He was pretty sure those socks he was wearing were the ones advertised on TV offering arch support. Why, why was that hot right now? It was. And maybe Leo wanted the way Finn looked right now to be exactly what it looked like. What then?
Finn was quiet, glancing at Logan as he came into the room and sat on the back of the couch to look at Leo. Finn drew in a slow breath, stretching his arms up and behind his head, so that when he spoke his voice came out tensed like his muscles—which Leo could see more of now, the sharp cut just above his waistline. “I mean, you could…” He grinned, dropping his arms and relaxing. “We could get you on the right time zone.”
Leo bit at the inside of his cheek. That wasn’t exactly the line he’d heard in Finn’s voice during all of his laundry-folding day dreams, but it was so very Finn that it was better.
“What did your team think when you said I’d be staying with you?” Leo glanced up around the room. “I mean, in the same…” Bedroom? “Suite.”
“They’re our team for a reason,” Finn said. “They know what’s their business, and what’s ours.”
Leo raised an eyebrow. “And my being a reporter isn’t their business? I bet at least a few people would disagree with that.”
“You’re not the kind of reporter they worry about,” Logan said. “Unless you suddenly revealed a long-range camera in your suitcase.” He tilted his head teasingly. “That’s not the surprise, is it?”
“No,” Leo laughed. “Definitely not the surprise.”
“And just to be clear,” Finn said. “Because looks like we’re not great on being clear—”
“Room, not suite,” Logan cut in.
“Jeez, way to grab my punchline and yank it out from beneath my feet.” Finn strode closer and put his hand on Logan’s shoulder. “But yes. We were hoping…I mean, there is another room. Two other, in fact, for you to choose from.” He tilted his head. “But I was hoping just your suitcase would be staying there.”
“We,” Logan said, rising from his seat.
“We were hoping.”
Logan stood in front of Leo. He held out his hands palm up, and Leo put his palms into them. Logan gave a gentle tug. When Leo hesitated, worrying the inside of his cheek, it took about half a second for concern to flicker over Logan’s face.
“Le?” he asked gently. “What…What did I do?”
“No, no, no,” Leo said. “Nothing. I want that. I really, really want that. I just…” Leo sighed, cursing himself. The nerves he’d felt while packing sprung back at him. Look at them. Look at them.
“It’s been a while for me,” Leo said softly. “I mean—I mean a while. And you two know each other—so well. I just don’t want…to, like, disappoint, or…”
“Non,” Logan said.
“You couldn’t,” Finn added. “Leo, you couldn’t disappoint us. Like, ever.”
Leo knew that. He did. He even believed it. It didn’t stop the idea that he would from making him want to crawl under the covers and hide.
“I’m looking at two people who know each other inside and out,” Leo said. “And I love that about you two. But—yeah. That’s all.”
Finn and Logan looked at each other. Leo didn’t mind the silent communication ability. He even liked it. It was sweet. In his dreams, he got that ability with them, too. One day.
Finn stepped forward. It wasn’t the stage walk. It was just him. Even in the button-down that Leo now knew to be the softest linen, it was just him. Not all the photos Leo had seen of fans catching him on the street—sunglasses, t-shirt, notebook or coffee…smiling, talking with them, and uncapping Sharpies with his teeth. Leo had looked at the photos from that particular day a lot. A lot. Summer in New York, headed to the recording studio, stooping so a girl could slip a necklace she had made him over his head.
“Okay.” Finn smiled softly. “There’s one thing we can do no matter what. It’s late. We can just get ready for bed and…and then whatever you want.”
Logan nodded. “Whatever you want.”
“We do know each other through and through,” Finn said. He tucked a stray curl behind Leo’s ear, but Leo felt it spring back into place. “Which is why we know how much we want you here.”
Leo shook his head, putting a hand against Finn’s chest. “You don’t have to convince me. I’m just…” Leo looked to Logan. “I…This is like a dream? A really good dream.”
“Leo.” Finn’s voice was overly serious, but Leo caught the spark in his eye. “Were we your celebrity crushes or something?” 
Leo’s laugh surprised him, head falling back. “Finn.”
“Aw,” Finn wrapped his arms around Leo’s waist. “I embarrassed him. Look, Lo, we were his celebrity crush.”
“First, I meant because you’re so sweet. And second, I’m pretty sure you could attempt world domination with the number of people who would name you if asked who their crush is,” Leo said.
“Maybe,” Finn replied. “But I only care about one.”
It was the little things, first. Logan left small pools of water all around the sink when he washed his face. He went to Leo’s luggage, and Leo only had time to call out a warning don’t before Logan was pulling out a t-shirt with a delighted laugh. Thankfully, it wasn’t his surprise one…But it was Finn’s.
Leo was brushing his teeth next to Finn O’Hara in Italy, and Logan Tremblay was holding up his HEARTTHROB O’HARA t-shirt with a grin on his face that said it all.
“That was also a surprise,” Leo said around his toothpaste. He groaned, and put a hand over Finn’s delighted eyes as passed him to go rinse his mouth.
When he leaned up from the faucet, Finn was there, rinsing beside him. Leo cleared his throat, laughing a little under the feeling of Finn’s gaze. He tried to escape, honestly he had no idea what to say, but two hands caught his hips and a hard, warm chest met Leo’s back.
They looked at each other in the mirror. The lights were soft and dim, bringing out each of Finn’s freckles. Leo put his hand over where Finn’s rested low on his stomach.
“I’m embarrassed,” Leo said, smiling down at the sink. “It’s stupid, right?”
With a slight pressure to his hip, Finn turned Leo around. Leo rested back against the counter’s edge, and Finn nudged his way to stand between his thighs. He carded Leo’s hair back from his face, the ends damp from washing his face.
“Nothing about you could ever be stupid,” Finn said.
Leo traced the N of his NASA t-shirt, then one of the trails on a shooting star. “You probably see people in that shirt all the time. Probably have signed that shirt a million times.” Leo closed his eyes. “Shit. I’d say I’m not some crazy fan, but younger me was definitely a crazy fan.” He looked up at Finn. “But you know all about crazy fans.”
Finn smiled a little. He barely had to tilt his chin forward at all to brush their mouths together. “I do know a little about that.”
“So maybe the shirt doesn’t even matter?” Leo asked hopefully. Finn’s brown eyes were staring at his mouth—that still had toothpaste on it maybe?
“Everything about you matters,” Finn said, and kissed him.
It brought back the rush of the ocean. The heat of the sun, sitting against those cliffs when Leo had been so confused, so in want. He knew how to hold himself together. God, if there was one thing he was so very good at in this world, it was holding himself together.
“Maybe I’m your crazy fan,” Finn whispered. “I’ve been stalking your writing for long enough.”
Leo laughed. “Mm, that’s true.” He reached up for Finn’s shoulders, pulling him closer.
He didn’t want to hold himself together anymore. He didn’t want to hold back. Nothing he knew even compared to this. Not the fame, not the novelty. This. Worn out t-shirts and getting to have a perfect fit in a legendary love like theirs. These were new muscles, letting himself go, and he’d been straining them with these two. They felt stronger now.
The band of his pajama pants was wet from being pressed back into Logan’s puddles. Finn tasted minty, and with him standing between Leo’s thighs like this, Leo got to tilt his head up into the kiss.
“How do I look?”
They broke apart to see Logan standing in the bathroom doorway. He wore a soft looking pair of gray boxers, and his chest and arms filled out Leo’s t-shirt in a way Leo had never, would never have even thought, to imagine.
While Leo sat there staring, Finn laughed. “That thing looks like it’s about to fall to pieces.”
He wasn’t wrong. There was a hole near the collar, the letters were faded at the edges. But it was so damn soft from years of being washed that Leo couldn’t bare to part with it. He reached up and pushed his fingers through Finn’s hair. That gorgeous red hair. Maybe there was so much more he couldn’t part with now.
“Ouais, me too,” Logan said. Leo didn’t know what he was talking about until he walked forward and reached up for Finn’s hair, completely messing it up. “Everyone’s obsessed with it, but how can you not be?”
Leo laughed as Finn squinted one eye shut but let them have their fun. It was soft and thick, the sorter strands at the sides feathering through Leo’s fingers like velvet.
Finn put a hand on Logan’s chest, tapping over the letters of Leo’s t-shirt. “I always guessed that was why everything they put my name in is red, too.”
“Marketing?” Leo said.
“Yeah.” Finn sighed, shrugged, then smiled. “Le, that shirt really is about to fall apart.”
“I…wear it a lot.”
“Oh yeah? All around the city with my name on your heart?”
Leo bit his lip. It was more than that. It was what he wore when he was sad, or had had a bad day. When he was sick, or exhausted, or angry.
And then, over the past month, that comfort had shifted to them. A bad day at work ended with four hour FaceTimes until Leo was too sleepy to talk anymore and Finn’s soft voice. Goodnight, Sunshine. And when he couldn’t sleep, somehow Logan always knew. The soft light of his phone lighting up his bedroom from his nightstand and never letting him feel alone or sinking or like he would never sleep again.
“Le?” Finn asked softly. His hair was a mess from their hands. His eyes were pure syrup again, asking, checking, worried—loving?
“Hi,” Leo said. “Sorry, hi.” He put a hand on Finn’s cheek and looked at Logan.
Logan tilted his head. “What are you writing right now, Soleil?”
Leo closed his eyes briefly at the nickname, leaning his head back to bask in it. “Dialogue, I guess.”
“Ouais,” Logan said, wrapping an arm around Leo’s waist. It completed the circle of the three of them. “Of?”
“How to ask you to take me to bed,” Leo whispered.
“Yes,” Finn breathed, and then Leo was being kissed.
He’d written a lot of words in his life. It was almost funny to be asked what he was writing right then. He wasn’t even sure this was something that could be written. What did kiss have on what Finn gave him? It was just what Leo remembered. The heated energy from that middle of the night kiss in Nice, only tripled.
“Hey.” Logan’s voice was low. Leo felt fingers tighten in his hair and he gasped, breaking Finn’s kiss long enough to be pulled to another mouth. The ocean and the shade. The shade and the ocean. Finn’s laugh echoed against the bathroom tiles. He was watching them. He had a hand on Leo’s back, and probably Logan’s, and let them kiss.
No, Leo couldn’t have written this down. Logan, pulling him towards the bedroom. Finn flicking off the bathroom light and leaving them in the yellow-pink glow of a reading lamp and the moon.
“I’d raise the sun if I could,” he said. He caught Leo up around the waist again. “Just because it’s dark in here doesn’t mean I want it to be.”
“Finn.” It sounded pleading, but Leo hadn’t meant it that way. Not stop. Not more. Just… “Have some compassion for how full my heart can be right now, O’Hara.”
And then Leo took that famous NASA t-shirt right off of him. The stars and the comet trails, they were still there. Finn’s torso was its own sky map and Leo, wondering what Finn liked, bent to kiss a trail of his own along one thin collarbone.
What words existed for the feeling of Finn chest rising and falling against his mouth.
What words could Leo have used to describe the smile Logan gave him as he let Leo pull his t-shirt off of him next? All Leo could comprehend was the sheer strength of his arms and the dark trail of hair that led down into his boxers.
There were no hesitations, like Leo had thought there would be. The pauses were woven in, just turns and folds and lifts like pages. Yes? This? Grins and breaths and—Logan’s sounds. Logan. Logan knew what he wanted. Finn knew what Logan wanted. Leo, very quickly, knew what Logan wanted and shared a slightly dazed grin with Finn about it. He got to watch Finn’s practiced fingers, and see how much Finn enjoyed giving Logan everything he could possibly desire. It was as sweet as it was unbearably hot. Finn looked so pale against Logan’s tanned skin. Marble. That was a word Leo had used before, but it applied. Jesus Christ, it applied.
What did grip have on the way Logan clutched at Leo’s shoulders when they were at last as close as anything could be, his thighs shaking against Leo’s. Bliss, certainly, was nothing compared to the look on Logan’s face when Finn’s hand pressed over the strong curve of his adam’s apple and asked him how he liked it, told him they looked gorgeous. Throbbing held nothing to the way Leo’s heart pounded, and more than nothing to how close those words brought him to the edge. Rhythm. That’s what Logan had. Leo set his hands against the small of his back—two dimples there, made for Leo’s thumbs—and held on.
“Mm—” Logan’s breath came out short and he froze, mouth open against Leo’s neck. His back was slick with sweat now. Finn sat back on his heels just beside them, working himself slowly.
“What you waiting for, baby?” Finn breathed. He’d not been moving much, but there was a sheen over his nose and temples, too. Just from watching. Now, he shifted behind Leo and wrapped his arms around his waist, nuzzling under his jaw.
Leo reached between them and Logan muffled his sound in Leo’s neck. Logan hadn’t been warm from the second he met him, but oh, he was warm now. Burning in Leo’s hands, against Leo’s body.
“I just want it to last,” Logan said shakily, but he was moving again, like he couldn’t help it. “You’re leaving in two days.” Logan wrapped his arms fully around Leo’s shoulders. “Don’t.”
“Don’t even know how—” Leo’s eyes slipped shut and he tried to breathe through the mix of white hot pleasure and blue tenderness pulsing through him. “How to think about leaving.” He smoothed his hands up Logan’s back, feeling the way it flexed as Logan moved against him.
“Ouais,” Logan said, a smile slipping across his face. He pulled back, his breathing jumping as their hips shifted. He kissed Leo hard, then cursed softly and let his head fall back. “Fuck…Leo…”
With his hair falling back and out of his eyes like that, Leo’s language left him entirely. He’d seen him like this on stage, lost in the music. He’d watched from the VIP booth, from the wings. Logan was closer to him than Finn was, always staying in one place. He’d seen the lights catch his every angle as he threw his head back, sweat dampening his dark hair, and played with everything he had. Tonight, Leo felt like theirs in that same way.
The sheets were kicked towards the end of the bed, or pooled on the floor. Leo’s head was on Finn’s chest, Logan’s forehead pressed to the top of his spine. Leo couldn’t stop touching them. He trailed his fingertips down Finn’s chest and watched goosebumps follow in their wake. Logan had a thigh thrown over his hip and Leo stroked the unbearably soft skin behind his knee. He dipped his thumb in the divot below Finn’s bottom lip.
Finn smiled sleepily, his eyes closed. His eyelashes were dark just now. In certain lights they tinged lighter, like his hair. “You’re ticklish.”
“You’re soft,” Leo replied.
“Is he asleep?” Finn whispered.
“Non,” came Logan’s voice, though he sounded part of the way there.
“I’m not kidding.” Leo reached back to hold Logan’s hip. “I’m getting up if I start keeping you awake with my tossing around.”
That was a lie. There was nothing that could haul Leo out of where he was right now.
“Nu-uh.” Finn kissed Leo’s temple. “No tossing. Not with the weighted blanket I have.”
“You travel with a weighted blanket?” Leo asked skeptically.
Finn reached out and picked up Logan’s hand, kissing his knuckles. “Sure do.”
“Oh,” Leo laughed.
“One-hundred percent effective, I promise.”
When Finn turned the lights off, it sent the room into near complete darkness and so Leo could do nothing but feel, in every nerve, and expanse of exposed skin, the way Logan nudged his nose into the soft hair at his nape, and the way Finn rolled onto his side to hold them both.
“Show tomorrow,” Finn whispered. “You ready?”
Leo smiled. “Do I have to be ready? I think that’s supposed my question to you two.”
“You have to be ready,” Finn placed a kiss to his neck. “It’s a Leo show.”
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dreamingofep · 2 months
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Forbidden Love pt. 3💔❣️
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Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)
Prompt: Reuniting with Elvis was supposed to be the highlight of your summer, but with unresolved tensions between you two, things aren't what they seem. [Fem!reader]
TW: Cussing, TENSION, ANGST, kissing, fingering, oral
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 6k
A/N: Hello everyone! Cannot wait to have you all read this next part🤭 This is a very important day for Elvis in his career! July 17,1969 is when From Elvis in Memphis was released! It’s an important part of the story and you’ll find out later why this album is so important to Elvis too! Enjoy!
You could not let go of how Elvis was treating you. It was so immature and childish. You couldn’t get over how he made you feel when he got so close. It was suffocating and thrilling all at the same time. He shouldn’t have done any of that though.
You decide to sit back down on the couch and wait for John. You’d rather be at home right now and get away from Elvis before he did anything else reckless. The house was very quiet and could only hear the guys talk outside. There was a bookshelf in the living room that had dozens of books. Some were classics that you had read a million times and some were spiritual and philosophical. Those really caught your eye. You didn’t know Elvis was interested in those things.
You pick one off the shelf and start sifting through it. The way it talked about life and the meaning of it was something you had never thought about. It was beautiful and could see why Elvis might like to read something like this.
The sound of clicking heels coming down the hallway turns your attention to see who is coming. It didn’t sound like Elvis walking in. These sounded like stiletto heels. A girl wearing a yellow dress passes the living room and does a double take when she walks by, not expecting you sitting there. She looks like the girl in the photo with Elvis you saw earlier. She stops dead in her tracks and has a confused look on her face.
“Who are you?” She says sharply.
You place the book down on the coffee table and stand up.
“Hi I uh-, I’m y/n. You must be Dianne?” You ask politely.
“Yeah, I am. You still haven’t answered my question though, who are you?” She snaps.
You stare at her dumbfounded. She was so rude. Is this how she interacts with all of Elvis’ guests?
“I’m a friend of Elvis. My husband is going to start working for him,” you tell her flatly, not putting up with her crass attitude.
She takes a few steps into the living room to get a closer look at you.
“Hmm. Elvis has never mentioned you,” she says, her voice snobby and pretentious.
Your jaw clenches at her rude comments. You’re doing everything in your power to not blow up on her too.
“I’ll get out of your way then. It seems you were not prepared for company,” you say walking past her annoyed.
You make your way to the front door and don’t get the chance to open the door yourself as someone comes barreling in quickly. It was Elvis opening the door and coming in, inches away from face again. You stand there paralyzed, not expecting to be so close to him. He has a spry smile on his face like he is all too pleased to be this close to you again.
You quickly step back, making room for him to come in. You realize John is also behind him looking confused at the situation. Elvis’ smile slowly fades when he sees Dianne right behind you.
“Hi darling,” she says chippy and quickly moves past you to hug him. She makes it look like such a show when she embraces him. She wraps her arms around his neck and runs her hands in his hair. You wanted to roll your eyes, it was pathetic she was trying this hard. You didn’t care who Elvis was with. What has become abundantly clear, he didn’t care about you either and you had to deal with that fact later.
You look back at John and try to smile at him.
“How did it go?” You ask him.
“It went fine. Elvis wants me to work security for him,” he explains. You’re a little shocked that’s the job he gave him. John has no security background and doesn’t even know how to use a gun. You also didn’t know Elvis needed that much security nowadays. You couldn’t help but worry a bit for John’s safety doing this… as well as Elvis’…
“Oh wow… I wasn’t expecting that. Are you okay with doing that?” You ask gently.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll just need some lessons and I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it all,” he tries to assure you.
“Honey, you didn’t tell me we were having company,” Dianne says behind you, a slight agitation in her voice.
“Yeah, I must have forgotten. But these are old friends, they don’t need to be fussed over. They can come by any time,” Elvis says with a smile walking back over to John. He puts his arm around him and pats his chest in a friendly way.
You almost believe this act he’s putting on. He learned a thing or two from being in Hollywood that’s for sure. The way his voice lit up and how his whole demeanor was relaxed and calm. John couldn’t be happier to have his friend treat him like this. You hadn’t seen such a big smile on his face in a long time. You look back at Elvis and your eyes lock onto each other’s. He knew you could see past the act and the smile he was faking right now.
“Why don’t we all have dinner together here Friday night? It would be so nice to get to know you both. Elvis never talks about his friends with me,” Dianne says. 
You watch as the rehearsed smile on Elvis’ face slowly turns into a scowl. Oh, that look was a dangerous one. He couldn’t hide any longer how uncomfortable he was in this situation.
“Why don’t we talk this over later dear,” Elvis says flatly, letting go of John.
“No, I want to have dinner with them, What is there to talk about?” She snaps back. You watch as Elvis gives her a cold stare. He lets out a slow, deep breath as he stands there searching for the right thing to say.
A smirk forms on your lips when the most devious thoughts pop into your head.
Throw more fuel on the fire that is Elvis Presley.
“Oh no, that sounds like a wonderful idea! I can make a dessert! I make an amazing cherry pie! Elvis, you would love it! If I remember correctly you love cherries right?” You say excitedly. You quickly turn back to John, “Wouldn’t that be nice John? We can catch up like it’s old times! Besides, I haven’t seen you since your goodbye party Elvis. I would love to know what you’ve been up to in these eleven years,” you quip.
Elvis’ jaw clenches as he now turns how scowl to you. You look straight into his fiery eyes and have no fear in your body. He had to know how pissed you were for doing this to you. Dianne’s face was a bit shocked at your admission.
“Oh, you both have known each other that long and kept in touch?” She asks warily.
“Well, he and John have stayed in touch. Whenever I would call, the phone seemed to magically disconnect and never take my calls,” you say, acting confused looking at Elvis. He knows what you’re doing and he is doing everything in his power not to snap at you.
“I think I should be going,” you say looking at your watch, “I have work soon and need to get ready. What time would you like us over Dianne? Six okay?” You ask sweetly.
She nods her head and smiles at you, “yes that would be perfect! We can’t wait,” she says looking back at Elvis and his unpleased expression aimed at you.
You force another fake smile at him and go to hug Dianne goodbye. You didn’t want to, but you knew it would irk Elvis more than anything. You stop in front of him and give him a pathetic hug. “Can’t wait for dinner,” you say flatly, matching his expression. He continues to stay quiet. You’ve never heard silence so loud before.
*
June 17, 1969
You worked the morning shift at the diner today and you couldn’t help but worry about this dinner tonight. As much as you were proud of yourself for getting under Elvis’ skin as he did to you, you couldn’t help but feel nervous again in his presence. You’re sure he knew your game and you were afraid of what he was going to say around Dianne and John. The last thing you needed was for him to expose what you two did at his goodbye party. You had never told a soul about what happened that night. And admitting it now, eleven years later to your husband and his girlfriend would be disastrous.
You surprisingly got off of work on time and quickly ran to the store to get the ingredients for the cherry pie. Baking was one of your favorite things to do when you had any free time. You loved to measure all the ingredients and mix them just enough to make something sweet and delicious. It took a while to cut everything up and roll out the dough but it was all a labor of love. You hoped Elvis would like it. You always remember he loved it when you brought it over for barbecues…
You let the pie cool on the counter and start to get ready. You were once again plagued with the worry of what to wear and how to look for this dinner. You sifted through your closet and tried to find something casual but you ended up going with a red swing dress. You focused on doing your hair and makeup next, taking your time with your winged eyeliner and curling the ends of your hair just right.
The creak of the door startled you and you quickly go to make sure it was John coming in. He looked tired and sweaty when he walked in, barely looking at you when you greeted him.
“Hey, are you okay?” You ask.
“No, I’ve had a long day. I’m tired and just want to sit down,” he snaps.
“Oh, I didn’t know. What did you do today?” You’re doing your best to not roll your eyes at his attitude.
“We ran around doing errands that Elvis made us do and Jesus, that guy just ran us ragged. We drove all over LA in this sweltering heat and he was just in a shitty mood all day. I don’t know what his deal was,” he says frustrated.
“Well, I’m sorry. People can have rough days sometimes. Elvis is just a man,” you try to say gently. “Maybe he’ll be in a better mood at dinner.”
“I’m not going to dinner,” he spats.
“What? Why?”
“I don’t want to. Plus Elvis didn’t even want to have this dinner! It was you and Dianne making a huge deal about it. Just call him and cancel,” he says as he walks away into the bedroom.
“What? No, I’m not canceling! We’re supposed to be there in half an hour! I’m sure the food is made already and everything. It's just rude to cancel so late,” you try to reason following behind him. He sifted through his drawers to get new clothes as he headed to the bathroom, completely ignoring you.
“John will you listen to me!” You say raising your voice.
He quickly turns around, “Then go by yourself if you’re so worried! I don’t care, just go, I don’t want to be there,” he snaps.
You didn’t say anything at first, his words were so cold and it hurt you more than you thought.
“Yeah I know you don’t care,” you mumble under your breath as you walk away.
Going back into the bedroom, you slip into some heels and grab the pie off the counter. You snag the car keys off the counter and angrily get in the car.
*
It wasn’t a far drive to Elvis’ house but your head was swarming with angry thoughts the whole time going up there. You felt like every man had an issue with you at this point. Elvis purposefully blocked you out of his life and John couldn’t stand to be with you in his spare time. It made you feel awful about yourself and had so many reservations about going to this dinner alone now. It wasn’t a great look for you. He had already supposedly told Elvis things weren’t going well for you two. This only made it look worse.
You pull up to the gates and someone opens them for you. You try to prepare yourself to put on an act for the whole night to get to know Dianne. It was going to be a long night you feared. You couldn’t give a damn about her. You wanted to get to the root of the problem between you and Elvis. If John was going to work for him, you were in Elvis’ life whether he liked it or not. You’d be around much more and you weren’t going to let him take jabs at you any chance he got.
You grab the pie from the passenger seat and head for the front door. You gently knock on the door and wait patiently. You can hear the turn of the lock and you prepare to put a big smile on your face for whoever is going to answer the door. Your smile drops when you see it’s Elvis who opens it. It was something so trivial, but you just never expected Elvis to open his own front door. He looked devilishly good once again. Damn it he was so distracting. He wore a blue silk button-up that was unbuttoned to the middle of his chest with a silver and turquoise belt. A gold chain hung from his neck and just drew more attention to his exposed chest. He looked good without even trying and those black pants were tailored to perfection.
Focus, you idiot.
“Hey,” you say sheepishly.
His face had the same shocked look as it did the other day when he saw you. You didn’t know what to make of it. He looks past you and peers his head to the side of the door.
“Where’s John?” He asks.
“Umm, he’s not coming. He wasn’t feeling well,” you try to explain. Elvis presses his lips together and opens the door for you to come in.
“Great,” he mumbles under his breath.
You hesitantly walk in, not liking his attitude already. You walk in through the foyer and turn to the dining room to set down the pie. The long marble table was set with napkins and silverware already and a tall candlestick centerpiece. There were four placemats set on the table, two on each side of the table facing each other. You set down the dish to the side since it won’t be served right away.
The house was stone quiet. It didn’t seem like there was anyone in here but you and Elvis. One of his housekeepers emerges from the kitchen and gives you a courtly smile.
“Can I get you something to drink dear?” She asks you.
“Just some water please,” you say politely.
She returns quickly with a glass of water for you and you turn back to Elvis, standing there with his arms crossed at his chest looking down at the ground.
You don’t exactly know what to do or where to sit. The whole room feels awkward with just the two of you in it. You decide to move to the living room and wait for Dianne to come downstairs. Elvis follows behind you shortly after. You look out the window and see the city below. The view was truly beautiful. There was a large pool in the backyard and lounge chairs along the edge of it. You could see why Elvis liked this house so much. It was perfect for entertaining. You could feel Elvis staring at you from behind. It ticked you off he doesn’t even try to have a conversation with you.
“Does Dianne know I’m here this time?” You ask him.
“Yeah well… she’s not here,” he tells you.
You turn around quickly, “What? Why? I thought she wanted this dinner,” you say confused.
“We got in a big fight this afternoon and is staying at her sister’s for a bit,” he says a bit uncomfortably.
“Oh, I’m sorry about that…” you say quietly. A heaviness fills the air and you both don’t know what else to say to each other.
“You shouldn’t have come,” he says, breaking the silence.
“What? I didn’t know that you and Dianne got in a fight and John wasn’t feeling good before we left. It would have been rude to just cancel like that!” You try to reason. He shakes his head, not liking anything you just said.
“It wouldn’t have mattered,” he grumbles.
The housekeeper pops her head into the living room and tells you both that dinner is ready on the table. You smile at her and head for the dining room. You probably should just leave, he doesn’t want you here, but you couldn’t give up on Elvis that quickly. Sure, people change over the years, but you didn’t buy that Elvis became so irreverent about everything.
You sit down and place your glass of water in front of your plate. It was a classic Southern meal with pot roast and mashed potatoes. It smelled delicious. Elvis sits down reluctantly across from you, sighing softly when he looks down at his plate. The house was all too quiet for your liking.
You spot a record player behind Elvis. One of your favorite memories at Graceland was always having music playing and everyone having a great time. You spot his new album sitting on the side of the speakers. It just came out today and was titled, From Elvis in Memphis. It had a picture of him from the ’68 special in front of the background dancers that mirrored his silhouette.
“Can we put on your new album?” You try to sound bubbly. You were genuinely curious to hear it. This was his first album since his big special. His whole career was heading in a new path because of it and the buzz around this new album was on everyone’s mind.
“Maybe later,” he says as he picks up the napkin and puts it on his lap.
It was disheartening to hear him not care about his new work.
“You were always so excited to share your new albums…”
“I know, I’m just not in the mood,” he says flatly.
“Is it because I’m here?” You ask bluntly.
His eyes shoot up to look at you and his silence speaks loud and clear.
At this point, it ticked you off this was the way he was treating you. You hadn’t had an actual conversation in a decade with him and he acted like you were the worst person he could interact with. The housekeeper checks in on you both to see if you need anything else.
“No, thank you. We’re fine. You can go home and rest, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says pleasantly.
She thanks him and leaves a few moments later.
Now you two were really alone and it made you uneasy. Neither of you has touched your plates and you try to scramble for where you want to start. You needed to hear what his problem was with you. Even if it ruined your relationship forever.
“What did I do wrong?” You say forcefully. He looks at you a little shocked at your tone.
“Nothing, you’ve done nothing wrong,” he says coldly.
“Bullshit,” you snap, his eyebrows furrowed by your outburst. “You took one look at me the other day and hated my very presence!”
“What did you want me to do? Did you want me to pretend like I was waiting for you to show up? Catch up like old times,” he hisses.
“No, but show me a little bit of decency! It wasn’t my fault that I haven’t heard from you for years! I did everything in my power to try and keep in touch with you. You chose not to reciprocate that, why?!” You press.
“I had nothing to say to you, did you think of that,” he spats.
It hurt, you thought you knew him so well but you don’t know where your friend went after the Army.
“I’m going to be around whether you like it or not. The least you can do is give me answers,” you tell him. He stares at you intensely, his eyes too dark for your liking.
“Fine,” he says.
You shift your food around on the plate, knowing your next question might open a can of worms.
“You regret it, don’t you?” You ask, looking back up at him.
“Regret what?” He asks through his teeth.
“You regret having that night with me before you left,” You tell him.
“No I don’t-,” he tries to tell you but you cut him off.
“How can you say that?! It was one of the first things you brought up after not seeing me for eleven years! I can put two and two together,” you say disgustedly.
Elvis looks down at his plate again and shakes his head.
“I don’t regret it, but it haunts me every day,” he says low. You were taken aback at his confession. You were afraid to have him explain himself but you needed the truth.
“What does that even mean?” You ask hesitantly. He flashes his heated eyes back at you, making your heart race a million miles an hour.
“It means I think about it much too often and wish things were different,” he admits. Your blood boils at his words, you can’t hold back your anger.
“You wish things were different?! How do you think I have felt for the past decade! I miss my old friend! I miss someone that I can talk to any time I want and who could help me in any situation. I barely have a husband who can tolerate my presence! Now I have to add you to that list!” you seethe.
You can tell he’s taken aback by your words. He wasn’t expecting for such emotions out of you today. You get up from your seat, too much anger flowing through you to sit down any longer.
You don’t let him speak just yet, there was too much racing in your head to stop you.
“What we did, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. You’re acting like we actually…” you stop yourself from saying it out loud. If you said it out loud you might hurt your own feelings. You don’t want to feel rejected again.
“We did enough, that’s all that matters. We didn’t know what we were doing,” he tries to say nonchalantly.
God, he was infuriating! Everything that was coming out of his mouth made you want to scream your head off at him. One more snobby remark and you were afraid you were going to do just that. You come to the front of the table to get closer to Elvis which was a dangerous move but you didn’t care.
“I wanted you, Elvis! There was not a doubt in my mind that you were the one I wanted in that moment. I had never felt for anyone like that before! Don’t you dare try to downplay my feelings,” you snap.
“We were both drinking and let it get to our heads!” he tries to reason.
“No! I was so sure! I wanted you. That was all I wanted for that night. I didn’t care you were leaving. It was so much more than that. My feelings would not have changed,” you seethe. He sits there holding the armrest tightly, his chest rising and falling faster than normal. You try to have patience for him, try to let him speak but he just sits there. He looks at you like no one has ever looked at you before.
Was it anger? Frustration? Lust?
Lord, it cannot be that last one.
“You know what, I’ll go. It’s clear that you’re not going to change,” you hiss at him.
You start to turn away and stop when you hear the screech of his chair moving back and the sound of shattering plates hitting the floor. You look at the mess on the floor and Elvis’ fierce gaze. He quickly grabs your wrist and stills you from going any further.
“What are you-,” you start to say.
He picks you up and sets you on the table, your heart racing uncontrollably as you look up at him.
“Enough.” He growls. You try to squirm but he holds you firmly on the table as he hunches down to get eye level with you.
“And you don’t think I wanted you? I never wanted someone so badly in my life. It terrified me. I couldn’t though. I couldn’t have my way with you. You had never been with a man and I wasn’t the right person to do that.” He admits looking away.
“I-, I didn’t care about that. I wanted you to have me,” you say low.
He straightens out his posture, taking in a deep breath before speaking.
“I know, I know you did. I could feel how much you needed me,” he sighs, brushing your hair off your shoulders. His fingers brush your skin and makes you have goosebumps all over. “What an idiot.” He murmurs.
All you can hear is the sound of you two breathing shallowly and quietly.
“And those sounds you made when you were on me… they play way too often in my head,” he says softly, leaning in your ear. Your hands grab onto his arms, unable to hide the way his words are affecting you. Images of that night flash in your head again. It felt like it was yesterday and you can see how his face made those beautiful expressions when you were moving on him. His hands slide down your arms and gently slide down your legs. Your body tenses and you take a sharp breath in. His hands feel so good on you and burn through the material of your dress.
Looking up into his eyes, you feel yourself melt. You remember this exact feeling eleven years ago… but things were very different now.
“Am I too late to have sucha night with you?” He coos. His entire presence was suffocating and intoxicating. Each breath you made was harder to take with him this close to you.
“Elvis,” you say in a breathy sigh.
You’re nine years too late, you think anxiously. That ring on your ring finger seared into your skin, making it abundantly clear you should not have found yourself in this situation. It also burned as a reminder of how unhappy you were. How it weighed you down in chasing your hopes and dreams for years now.
Damn it Elvis was wildfire. One look from him and he consumed all reasonable logic. You loved how it felt to have all of his attention on you. It was something you didn’t realize you craved. You craved a man’s attention and affection.
A smirk forms on his face after hearing his name come from your lips.
“Hmm… I’ve missed you saying my name like that,” he says pressing his forehead to yours. You feel yourself losing the battle with him. He’s pulled you in too far and you love it.
You can’t hold back anymore, you need him. There was no other voice in your head other than it screaming his name.
“Kiss me,” you whimper as you slide your hand on the back of his neck and through his hair. He puts his hand on your cheek and leans in.
Passion and fireworks explode in your head. His lips felt better than they did before. They were so soft and plush and had you craving more. You can’t catch your breath in between kisses as he continues to move his hands on you. The soft material of his shirt had you clawing at it, needing to feel his skin.
Small, soft moans come from your throat as you kiss him more. You never wanted him to stop. You were suddenly transported back to that night but this time it was somehow so much more intense. His hands move up your legs again and move your dress up with it. His fingers rub and tease the soft, sensitive flesh near your core. You felt like you were on fire from every touch of his. Your core began to throb and ache for more. You feel his hands spread your legs open wider, allowing him to step in between them and get closer.
You needed his hands to touch you more, to touch you in places you’ve only dreamed of since. You guide one of his hands lower and he understands exactly what you need.
He takes two fingers and rubs them up and down your folds. The friction felt so good and you instantly moaned in his mouth. It had been so long since you’ve felt any pleasure and this was on a whole other level. He responds with a moan too and slips his tongue in your mouth. You felt completely breathless as he teased and had you reeling for more. His fingers were gentle when they moved on you and knew where you needed the most attention. He puts more pressure when he rubs your clit, liking how your body bucks into his hand. Then he teases your entrance, rubbing and pushing his fingers slightly into you. You gasp as you feel the material of your panties get pushed inside of you.
“Oh God,” you moan.
His incessant teasing has you on the edge of dying. You knew you were embarrassingly wet from all of this and he was just making it worse. He kisses you again and groans while he does so. You feel his finger pull your panties to the side and let his other fingers slide through your sopping-wet folds. You have to break the kiss as you feel his curious fingers give you exactly what you need. You watch as his face also forms into pleasure the more he discovers you.
“Jesus baby,” he moans, his face looking shocked and turned on.
You hold onto him tighter, your eyes silently pleading for more from him. He nods his head at you, getting the message you need him. He gently pushes his slender finger inside of you, pumping it in and out of you slowly. You can’t help but throw your head back, it all feels too good as your core squeezes around him.
“Fuck honey, you’re so damn wet,” he groans. You can’t speak as so many different sensations are flooding your body.
You continue to hold onto him, too afraid this is all a dream and you’re going to wake up any minute now. But he keeps you focused on him and what he’s giving you. He enters another long finger inside you, making you moan his name. You weren’t expecting any of this. How he was making you feel euphoric with the smallest movements of his hands. You look back up into his eyes and he has that droopy, lust-filled look glassed over him. Just looking at him had you weak and breathless. You close your eyes as you feel the coil in your belly become tighter and tighter.
Your eyes pop back open as you feel him gently grab your ankle and push your leg up, having your foot rest on the table’s edge. He then starts to slowly sink down on his knees in front of you. You silently cuss under your breath watching him kneel before you and look at your weeping core.
He licks his lips slightly, pumping his fingers slowly into you again and making you squirm. He only does this for a few more moments before he gently takes his fingers out of you and looks up. You gasp when you feel him no longer inside you and feel your wetness come leaking out of you. You look down at him with your cheeks burning red. He doesn’t mind your blushing embarrassment, no, he’s enjoying this so much and wants you to feel good.
He leans in close and you feel his tongue swipe through your folds. You loudly moan, you have never felt anything so good. He teases and knows just what you want without you saying a word. Your hand tangles in his hair and encourage him to keep going. You felt yourself edging closer and closer to finishing and he knew it too. His hands squeezed around your thighs, keeping your legs spread apart for him.
His tongue teases your entrance and plunges it inside of you. You cry out for him, loving what he’s giving you. It all felt too good to be true. This wasn’t how you expected your evening to go. What started as raging hate for him turned into passionate lust that clouded over everything. He slithers his hand to your clit and starts to rub it as he continues to eat you.
You gasp for air and feel your entire body tense. You look down at him helplessly and watch how his eyes are closed and completely focused on you.
“Oh God Elvis, please,” you cry for him.
He doesn’t stop and knows he’s got you on the edge of falling apart. A few more movements from his tongue and your body shudders hard. Your core squeezes around him and you buck into him. You gasp for air and hold onto his hair tighter. Your vision grows blurry and you don’t even feel like you’re on this earth right now. You felt like you were in another world and it only consisted of you and Elvis there. He makes his own pleased groans as his tongue continues to go to work on you. You can’t help but cry out for him, telling him how good it feels.
You hadn’t felt this much pleasure in ages. It was new and enlightening. He gradually slows his pace down and moves up to tease your swollen bud. It was like a zap of electricity running through you as his mouth teased. He stops to look up at you, his mouth and chin covered in your slick. He slowly gets up, his tall stature looming over you and making you feel so small.
He stares at you with awe in his eyes. You felt the same. He leans in to kiss you, passion overflowing with his lips. Your head is spinning once again with how he’s kissing you and the way his hands hold onto you tightly.
You pull away to get air and see he’s just as breathless. Your thumb gently wipes his face to get it clean once again and he smiles. He then picks you up off the table and has you stand once again. Your legs shake slightly and you hold onto his arm tight.
He takes your hand in his and starts walking away from the dining room. He doesn’t take his eyes off of you the entire way. You stop him as he starts to lead you further into the house.
“Where are we going?” You ask a bit nervously.
He smirks at you and pulls you in for another kiss. You melt as you feel him pressed against you for the first time in a very long time.
“I wasn’t done making you feel good,” he says coyly. “Is that ok?”
You nod your head at him, knowing he has you in the palm of his hand now, liking it more than you thought possible.
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harlowsbby · 8 months
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Fading Out?
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Summary, Jack misses date night and the reader gets upset.
Jack 💘
“Babe what are you doing right now? If you aren’t doing anything make sure you get ready, I’m taking you out tonight.”
That was the last message you received from Jack before you started rushing around to get ready for your mysterious little date that he’d be taking you on.
The time was around three almost four in the afternoon, you knew Jack usually left the studio around five so you quickly jumped into the shower to freshen up.
“Why are you getting all dressed up?” Your friend Jessica’s voice came through the speaker of your phone.
“Jack is taking me out tonight I’m not really exactly sure where but all he said was for me to get ready.” You told her.
“Really?! That’s so sweet.” She gushed and you smiled.
“I know! I’m so excited, we haven’t been out together in a while he’s always so busy with work and his album, it feels good to actually spend some time together.” You confessed.
With Jack being gone all day with either finishing up his album, or doing promo shoots with New Balance or just photo shoots in general, there wasn’t enough time left to actually spend time together.
So when Jack texted you saying that he was taking you out you were beyond thrilled and over the moon with excitement.
Looking at the time you noticed it was about five minutes till five. “I’ll call you later Jessica I’m going to call Jack right now.” You told her. “Okay, have fun tonight.”
After the two of you hung up you went ahead and decided to call Jack to see where he was at. When he didn’t answer you looked down at your phone with a frown on your face.
“That’s weird.” You mumbled to yourself, usually whenever you’d call Jack he’d answer right away but you figured he was driving so you decided to text him.
Jack 💘
- I’m ready! Let me know when you’re outside!
You smiled and put your phone down and fixed your lipstick and looked yourself over one last time. It was now five thirty and still no sign of Jack.
Nemo’s house wasn’t far from Jack’s house it was about ten minutes down the street so you weren’t understanding why he still wasn’t home.
You decided to call Urban to see if he at least knew where Jack was. “Pick up.” You mumbled as you started to shake your leg, it was a habit you tended to do whenever you were nervous.
“Hello?” Urban’s voice came through the speaker. “Urban!” You yelled and he winched, not expecting for you to be yelling.
“Yes Y/N? Why are we yelling?” He laughed and took a step outside to hear you better. “Have you seen Jack? Or heard from him recently?” You asked Urban.
“Jack? Yeah he’s in the house with us.” Your eyebrows furrowed together. “Us? Who is us?” You asked him.
“Like Nemo, Ace, a few girls but don’t worry Jack isn’t cheating.” He laughed. “Oh okay well when you see him again can you let him know I said thanks for tonight.” You mumbled into the phone.
“Uh yeah sure I got you.” Urban asked he wasn’t quite sure why you wanted him to say that but he wasn’t about to question or get in the middle of anything.
You hung up the phone and went ahead and got unready. Deep down you had a feeling tonight wasn’t going to happen but you decided to be hopeful.
Just as you were about to turn off all of the lights downstairs and head upstairs to bed Jack came through the door with an apologetic look on his face.
“Baby, shit I’m so sorry I was about to leave Nemo’s house to come get you so we can go out but I got sidetracked by Ace and-.” He kept ranting and ranting and you were honestly sick and tired of hearing him.
“It’s okay.” You said with a tight lip smile. “Really it’s fine I should’ve known better than to give my hopes up, my fault.” You smiled at him and made your way upstairs.
“What?” Jack watched you as you walked passed him and upstairs to your shared room. He expected for you to yell at him or do something but you not doing anything made him even more worried.
“Babe? Are you good? Are we good?” He asked and watched how you laid yourself under the covers and sat up against the headboard.
“We’re perfect.” You sarcastically stated. “I feel like you’re lying.” He nervously laughed.
“Of course I’m lying Jack can’t you tell.” You spat and suddenly you were no longer leaning back you were now up and ready to discuss this.
“Okay so what’s wrong? Talk to me.” He said and sat next to you and went to grab your hands but you pulled your hands back.
“You should know that the problem is we haven’t spent anytime together !” You yelled your hands flying up in frustration.
“I thought you understood that I needed to get this album done? Once I finish the album then I’m all yours.” You scoffed.
“You don’t get it.” You chuckled dryly. “Why do I have to wait till your fucking album is finished to spend time with you!” You yelled.
You hated yelling it was one of your least favorite things to do but you wanted to get your point across to him.
“Are you being serious right now? You’re acting really selfish Y/N.” He spoke. “You know what if you don’t or can’t understand my lifestyle and understand that I won’t be available to run to your every beck and call.” He sighed heavily.
“Then maybe we shouldn’t be together Y/N.” He stated.
Your heart shattered at his words the last thing you wanted to do was to break up with Jack. “That’s how you feel?” You croaked out.
“Then fine we’re over.” Jack watched you with sadden eyes as you made your way out the room.
That night you slept alone in the spare bedroom you just needed time to think and time for yourself to try and see what you were going to do now.
Eventually you ended up falling asleep and waking up the following morning to spell of bacon, sausage and eggs being made downstairs.
You tied your robe against you and crossed your arms over your chest as your made your way into the kitchen. When you finally came into view you saw Jack sweating away at the stove.
“Good morning.” He smiled when he saw you and handed you a plate.
“Thank you.” You mumbled and sat at the table Jack frowned usually you’d be running into his arms or giving him a kiss.
The two of you sat and sat in silence you both tended to be a bit stubborn at times. Jack watched with sorrow filled eyes as you twirled around the eggs and nibbled on a piece of bacon.
“Y/N, baby I’m sorry I don’t want to break up with you.” He told you. “So why did you say that last night? All I want is to spend time with you but I didn’t realize I had to schedule an appointment.”
Jack chuckled. “You still got your humor.” You shot him a glare. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding but I am really sorry baby please will you forgive me?” He frowned.
“I’ll forgive you under one condition.” You smirked. “What is it?”
————————————————————————
“I really hate touching feet babe and you know this.” Jack groaned as he started to rub and massage your feet.
“So? What does that have to do with me you said that you’d give me a massage.” You stated and took a sip of your wine.
“I know, I know but still.” He grumbled. “But still nothing get to massaging because I’m getting a bit hungry.” You laughed as he groaned again but nonetheless he continued to rub your feet.
You leaned back into the couch and noticed Jack’s phone was ringing. “Druski is calling you want me to answer.”
“Yeah answer it.” He said. “Jack! Where you at man the game starts in a few minutes Urban and me just got here.”
Jack was meant to be going to a football game with Urban and Druski today but he was going to be busy making up for how he acted last night.
“Sorry Druski but he can’t come he’s a bit busy.” You flipped the camera and showed Jack who was sitting on the floor criss cross, applesauce style and painting your toes.
“Man.” Druski’s head went back in laughter. “You’re such a simp! I’ll catch you later.” Druski laughed one last night before hanging up.
“This is no fun.” Jack grumbled. “It’s fun for me and that’s all that matters and make sure my nail polish isn’t all crooked.” He smacked his teeth.
“Okay baby.” You smiled. “I love you though.” He smiled as well. “I love you too babe.”
(I tried writing this a few times but idk I still don’t like it but I hope you guys do 😭)
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jokeroutsubs · 3 months
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🎈🍰Nace Birthday Special🍰🎈 ENG SUB: JokerOutSubs x RADIOaktivno collab: 'Demoni' Album Presentation
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Audio + CC link: https://youtu.be/4plC7TteUGw
We are once again very happy to have been able to collaborate with Boštjan Najžar from RADIOaktivno podcast (Facebook, YouTube), with whom we already worked for 'Umazane misli' subtitles. He very kindly reuploaded the deleted Demoni album presentation video on YouTube and we were able to provide subtitles for it!
Below you can find the transcription of our translation of the interview, which originally aired on 23.11.2021, on Radio Prlek/RADIOAktivno YouTube channel.
Cr: Translation by drumbeat, @varianestoroff, and another member of JOS. Proof read by TWT klamstrakur, Anastasia and @flowerlotus8
Transcript 👇
Everyone: We are Joker Out.
Bojan: And you're listening to Radioaktivno.
Host: 'Katrina' by Joker Out, all the members are with me today on Radioaktivno. New member Nace, Kris, Jure, Bojan and Jan. Hi!
Nace: Hello!
Kris: Hi, greetings.
Jure: Hi, hi.
Bojan: Good morning.
Jan: Same… also from me.
Well, even though it's already evening, I see your days are short or they turn immediately into mornings.
Jan: Yes, we usually wake up at 8pm, and stay awake for two days, and then we go to sleep.
Isn't 8pm already the end of the day, or is that when the soundchecks are over?
Bojan: We basically call it vampire rotation. So… We skip the soundchecks and then, when we wake up, we get out of our coffins and go straight to the stage.
So you don't like the light?
Bojan: No, we're not really comfortable with light, yes. Sunglasses are mandatory.
Kris: That's why we live in Ljubljana, where it's never really bright anyway.
I disagree. I was looking at some photos today, and when the sun was out over there, here it was still foggy.
Kris: See, that is why we are here today.
Bojan: Well said.
'Katrina'
Jure, we started with 'Katrina', with the single that launched your new album.
Jure: Yes, it's true. 'Katrina' is the first single we released at the end of August, before the album was out. What can I say? We also made a video for it with Mark Pirc.
Bojan: Maybe the most energetic, or one of the more energetic songs on the album. It kinda feels like this album is maybe a bit calmer compared to the first one, or more oriented towards, how should I say, yes, frustrating, restless moments. So 'Katrina' is, and let's say, 'Ne bi smel', which we will hear later, kind of represent the high point in terms of rythm, we think.
Today we also have in our company a new band member, Nace. How did you integrate into the band after a few weeks?
Nace: I will say, musically, I never doubted it, but as mates, or, rather, band-mates, we've been slowly growing into a little family, I think. We've spent quite a bit of time together now, in the span of a month, and I have to say, they've grown on me so much, like, yes, a family, right?
Have you passed all the tests, taken all the exams?
Nace: I mean, I had the last one yesterday, but, I have to say, that I didn't quite get an A, right?
Kris: And what was that test?
Nace: Well, about the history of Joker Out.
Kris: Oh, yes.
Nace: So I learned something new as well alongside the mistakes, right? But I've still got time.
I see though you have integrated into the band well, you've already got your sunglasses on.
Nace: It was a must-have, right away, as Bojan called me at the time, he said, "Do you have (sun)glasses?" I said, "I do". And that was it and he said, "I think we've found the one."
Bojan, do you have difficult admissions exams, then?
Bojan: Well, I wouldn't say we have difficult admissions exams. Rather for the reason that there are practically no admissions exams, the same thing happened with Jure and Nace. Basically, when we kind of said, we want him, it was more based on this energy that they were radiating, not so much just on musicality, or whatever you want to call it. And in both cases we made the right decision. Now, I believe that we are done deciding.
The next one will be 'Ne bi smel'.
'Ne bi smel'
Jan: Yes, 'Ne bi smel' is a song that we "should have" written, and it's actually, along with 'Katrina', quite a bit, it's the second most most energetic one. I think we had, I mean that Bojan, had maybe the most trouble with the writing of its lyrics, but…
Bojan: The most and the least trouble simultaneously.
Jan: Yes.
Jure: But I think the least work we had was with the instrumental, it got put together really quickly.
Bojan: This song is, well, good thing Jan took the microphone, because I wrote the lyrics for 'Ne bi smel' practically as they are today, crossed them out completely and Jan came into the rehersal space very upset and said to me, that I had to go back to the old lyrics, and I'm really…
Jan: You shouldn't have changed it.
Bojan: Yes, but I didn't know how else to…. So, yes, well, that song was just a big frustration for me, actually, because I've changed the lyrics so many times and ended up going back to the first version. But yes, enjoy.
'Ne bi smel' and Joker Out with their album 'Demoni' on Radioaktivno. Fresh from 'Umazane misli', you've released a new album.
Bojan: Yes, our ghostwriter was really diligent, so we were able to get the new material out very quickly. No, actually, we can't believe it ourselves how quickly the second album came to be. Especially because the first album was quite a torturous process, at least in the finishing touches, when it came to mixing, and we all thought that we got tired of making music and that there wouldn't be an album at least for a while. Then we really reached a moment when…
Jure: You know what happened? We set up the rehersal space.
Bojan: Yes.
Jure: And we announced Križanke, and then we were like, "Okay, now what? Maybe we need to go to Križanke…" Yes, we announced Križanke earlier than we started the album.
Kris: We sold it out before we started the album.
Jure: Yes, well, that too. We went to Križanke and we said, yes, well, we gotta release a new album, right, for Križanke.
Jan: But we've also sold it out promising this… the debut of a new album that hasn't even been made yet.
Jure: Yes, yes, we haven't done anything yet!
Bojan: When it hadn't even been planned yet.
Jan: Not one song, nothing.
Bojan: Nothing. We were like, "Hey, ten really sick songs, that for now don't exist yet, but we'll handle this later ."
But then these songs were created very quickly, because Križanke was in September of this year?
Kris: Yes, they were created quickly. I mean, if we're being completely honest, some have been in the making, even when we were making the first album, because, you know, you can't frustrate yourself with only ten songs, that you've been twisting for two and a half years, and Bojan in particular and I have written a few songs in between, or outlines. Then we built from that, when we started, the first draft. For the first draft.
Bojan: A first draft and an outline.
Kris: Right, a first outline.
Which means that things have been happening very fast for you lately?
Kris: Yes, things are moving quite fast, maybe, maybe even too fast for some. [someone gasps dramatically and Kris laughs] No, but in my opinion, we're all excited about it, and we're basically happy that everything can evolve so dynamically.
Can you all keep up?
Jure: I think so far yes, we have a great team around us, who really help us a lot. So, yes, we're keeping up with everything so far. A problem would arise if we didn't, right?
Bojan: And then we would break up. And in ten years' time we'll have a reunion and sell out some venues again and then break up again.
Jan: No, we must not disband now, because there's one Instagram page, a page called Joker.Out_nesmerazpadt [Joker.Out_ shouldnotbreakup]. So, let's not disappoint our fans.
Do you follow social networks well?
Jan: Yes, we must. Because, I mean, as someone who deals with social networks in the band, I feel like I spend a lot more time on my phone, doing whatever it is I'm actually doing, than making music. Which is a bit of a shame, but it's just how it is today, if the band itself promotes a brand of its own, its own image, you have to take care of the other things as well, that are not music.
Bojan: I think you should be grateful for all these references that you're going to be able to put to good use in PR and strategic management…
Jan: What, you mean if I wanted to get a job at Telekom?
Bojan: …when we break up and you'll be looking for a real job as a TikToker.
Someone: Manager.
'Plastika'
With the second one, we'll undergo surgery. It's time for 'Plastika'.
Bojan: Yes, 'Plastika' is a song that was written in the studio a few days before the album was released, basically. I didn't know what to write about, and there was an article in Delo about how 1/3 of Slovenian teenage girls want plastic surgery, and producer Žarko Pak looked at me from his chair and said, "Write a song about this." And I did.
Joker Out, 'Plastika', album 'Demoni' which we're playing today. You're not the luckiest with electricity. And if we connect this to Ormož.
Jure: Oh yes, yes, I mean, at our place we installed the wiring ourselves, so we're good electricians. But if the fuel runs out in the generator, it's not our fault, right.
Bojan: Yes, Ormož was such a lucky-unlucky situation, because we ran out of electricity during the concert, but luckily, that's the lucky part then, we were so, I would say, in the right mindset, that we went to stand on the speakers in front anyway, and sang and strummed on the acoustic guitar, until the power came back on, so it was actually one of those special little moments, and the flashlights and the lighters were on, you know, romance, people kissing, dancing, hugging, so, nice.
Does that mean you are also working on an acoustic repertoire?
Jure: Not yet.
Jan: Only in Ormož.
Jure: [laughing] Only in…
Bojan: Ormož special.
Jure: No, not yet, I think it's a bit early for acoustics. We'll do it later, in our old age, when we don't know what to do anymore.
As the older musicians say, when you go to their concerts, or like when you start playing around 5 or 7 PM at the latest.
Bojan: Yes, yes, that's it. Acoustic. Have a seat, and we'll be done at five.
Jure: Then let's go home and watch the news, you know, at seven.
Anyway, you have a lot going on right now, you sold out Križanke not long ago.
Kris: Križanke was just now, yes, actually, they seem… Even though it may be, we've been on holiday and I don't know, I think we did ten concerts in between, so Križanke seems like a long time ago. But now we're basically already heading to another bigger venue, Stožice, on October 6th, 2023. Yes, exclusively, exclusively for Radio Prlek. On the other hand, especially now with our latest single 'Demoni', we also have our eye on the Balkans and we're waiting to see if anything happens.
How do sold-out venues affect you?
Nace: I mean, I'm looking forward to Stožice for now, right, which I have no doubt will be sold out. So, anyway I don't know, I wasn't with them in Križanke, so I can't say that I've experienced it, but let's just say, that I look forward to everything that is coming.
Does this give you extra motivation to practice more?
Nace: I mean, if I may be a little cocky, I think I don't need to practice, right. But if you don't believe that, I recommend to come to a concert and listen to me play.
I see you have a good new member.
Bojan: Yes, yes.
Jure: Good at lyings, good at lying.
Bojan: Nace is a few years older than us, right, and he's…
Jan: Just by 30 years, right.
Bojan: 30 years older. …that he has quite a lot of experience. and he's a professional musician, so we're really just a bunch of amateurs compared to him, right, as far as practice is concerned, so I think, that Nace is quite right at this point, that if anybody needs a little bit of practice, it's us, and maybe me most of all, well, but let's move on.
Kris: To be completely honest, since being in the band Nace has requested to reherase the most. And even then we were like, "No, no, we don't need to", so… It's not entirely true, this facade that he's put up.
Nace, how much musical experience do you have, then? In which bands?
Nace: Me? I mean, oh… This question surprises me every time. I mean, with time, when you play so much you tend to forget people and I always find it hard to put a spotlight on people because I know, I will forget someone and I don't want for them… Well. What should I tell you?
Jan: About the cruise ship.
Nace: Oh, yes, as a fun fact, I can tell you that as an 18 year old I already went into the world, on a ship, on a cruise ship, to play where I spent half a year, I saw a bit of the world I came home and started to get a bit more involved in the Slovene music scene. So, maybe it's one of those things that most people have seen and I'm still a member of the 'Diamanti' band. RTV Slovenia programme 'Friday Evening'. And I was an accompanist for quite a lot of Slovene artists, I also recorded some things. So, I think that I've already left a mark, but it's far from final, and I think I will also leave one with the band, I'll bring something new to the band and show that… Who is, not who is Nace Jordan, but that I deserved this spot.
I almost heard, who is Nace Junkar?
Nace: You're not the first, well, but… as much… I'll say that Nace is a great person, right, as far as I got to know him, but I don't want to be mistaken for him. Jordan and Junkar, there is a slight difference
'Demoni'
The next one is 'Demoni'.
Jure: Oooh, little demons.
Bojan: Mhm.
Jure: The first one in Serbian. Bojan, I think it's best if you tell us more about it.
Bojan: Well, 'Demoni' is actually one of the first songs that I've written in Serbian in my life. The reason behind it was mostly or rather, let's say that the reason can be split into two parts. The first part is because we share the aspiration to go out of Slovenia's borders, to the Balkans, which are familiar to us. And the second part is that my roots are Serbian and I always wanted for my grandma to understand what I'm singing about because she always tells me "Yes, it's a lovely song," but if you don't understand it completely then it doesn't have that much meaning, right I've always wished for her to be able to understand so now she understands. Though she wasn't that excited about…
Jure: Right, she wasn't, I was just about to ask…
Bojan: No, that there're demons, it confused her. Why demons, is there something wrong with them, like that. But nothing is wrong, grandma, everything is all right. Everything is all right, grandma.
Demoni' from Joker Out on the Radioaktivno show. Exit was this year. A Serbian festival, world renowned, with a lot of people. Did you have fun there?
Kris: We had a lot of fun. Above all it was our first non Slovene concert experience for us. Before that we played in Poreč but more for Slovene students. So it was our first time introducing ourselves to the international crowd. And one might say that the majority of the crowd were Slovenians, but I was under the impression that a few foreigners were also impressed by our concert and that we left a mark, now we're hoping to be called back to Novi Sad because we had so much fun during those days when we were there.
Bojan (in Serbian): Brothers, call us, we would very much like to come back.
Have you then made a grand enough entrance through the doors to the Balkans?
Jan: Yes, we rang…
Bojan: With a club.
Jan: …with a hammer on the door. I don't know, I mean… I think that after a concert in Stožice the band that does it, also needs something new, something fresh. So, outside of Slovenian borders, there are many ears who want good music. So I think that Serbia is a great destination.
Nevertheless, the title of the album is after a song that is in the Serbian language.
Bojan: Well, that isn't that relevant. The title of the album was actually chosen because we thought that the word demons sums up all these elements we were surrounded with from Cvetličarna onward pretty well. Demons represent good responses bad responses, demons were sleepless nights, a lot of concerts, demons are the new songs that aren't made yet, demons were Križanke, that we sold out without having an album. Basically, a lot of demons were keeping us company we were each other's demons, because we were together all the time, maybe we were fed up with each other in some moments maybe we missed each other in some moments. So we really thought that this very short and clearly defined word that covers a broad spectrum of things that were happening to us. Not just negative but also positive, but yes.
Are you ever asked why Serbian and not English? Because the majority of artists create in English to break into the international market?
Jure: Well no, I think we aren't asked this much but I think that each one who starts working in English in Slovenia comes back to Slovene at the end.
Kris: We'll come to that. We have …
Jure: But yes.
Kris: We have a more long term tactic than most Balkan artists. First, go to the South, then through the South to the North, through the diaspora. So, first we have to conquer Serbians and Croats and all the others and so…
Bojan: and Bosnians and North Macedonia...
Kris: …and all the nationalities in between then we can go to whichever German, Swiss Austrian club to play.
Bojan: Well, no, you know what, being an author and wanting to stay authentic it's beneficial to stay in the language that suits your creative process and Serbian is my mother tongue which I think I expressed myself quite well in, right. Especially considering it's my first try. We'll see about English, I need more practice. I listened to an interview and I am pretty stiff... In English I mean.
Everyone: [laughter]
Practice makes perfect, they say.
Bojan: It wasn't planned. Yes, practice makes perfect.
Kris: You mean, have you listened to that interview yet?
Bojan: No, I haven't. I lied. But It's not like anyone can tell.
'Padam'
Next one is 'Padam'.
Kris: 'Padam' may be the first song that we envisioned for the new album to me it seemed that it defined the direction and vibe for the album very well. But when Bojan was playing it to us, it was very, very different. It was more suited to a band format than it is now. Do you remember?
Jure: Yes.
Kris: Yes, it had a demo with drums and that. Yes, I think so. I was sure then, that, that it would be, because it was a strong song lyrically and melodically and I was sure that it would be the biggest single of the album. But then, over the album making process, we somehow changed it and stripped it down and turned it into some kind of an acoustic ballad that really forces you to listen to the lyrics. Maybe it's not a banger as it used to be but it stands out more.
Bojan: So if someone says that Joker Out is a band that only wants hits it's just not true. This is a lie.
Also ballads.
Bojan: Also ballads.
Jure: That are hits, of course.
Bojan: Yes, yes. Right, that's a given, it's a given, god willing.
This time you offered us ten songs. It's interesting that you haven't released singles before but you first offered the album and 'Katrina' at the same time. Different approach than with the previous album where singles were combined in an album.
Kris: Yes, well in an ideal world we could release a few singles before the album release but we wanted to have two whole albums released in such short time that we actually didn't have time to deal with the process of releasing singles before the album release. But we'll definitely release a lot of singles from this album after it's out. So, 'Katrina' is released and 'Demoni', and then a lot of things can come. Also, for example, a song that to many didn't look like a single from the album could be released with a music video. When we released the album, there were I wouldn't say mixed responses but different people liked different songs. Now they maybe figured out which ones are more favourites and which aren't. But anyway, there's something for everyone on the album every listener can find a song or two on the album that are their favourites. And it's not as if it's so unevenly distributed.
Nace, how many times have you listened to both albums?
Nace: To both? I mean, I listened to the first one more for sure, since it has been out for longer, right. Otherwise, I listened to the second one immediately when it was released, I started listening to it in order to learn it. So I practically listened to it at least once per day for a month when the boys were vacationing. And maybe I might have gone over the guitar part as well, while driving, so, out loud, through Ljubljana, windows down, you know how it goes.
Bojan: You were driving, you were driving with a guitar in your car. Are you insane?
Nace: Look, I knew that I couldn't come there and not know, so I took advantage of every minute. I'm driving from Kranj, you know that is half an hour every day, when you go to Ljubljana, and it comes in handy. You know, a rush hour and you can… At least that bit of 'Padam' where tha bass comes in you know, I can practice it in between.
If we focus on sound, can you compare it to the debut album?
Jan: No. I mean, in some aspects, yes we're still us, the same people that also created the first album but the first album was recorded very sporadically. First, we recorded some drums, then the bass three months later, then we were recording the guitars for half a year every day, for a few hours and it dragged on, the thought process wasn't connected but it was more fragmented. So yes, I think that this album because for the most part we recorded it all together it works more coherently, in regards to sound.
Kris: If I may add, besides the whole process that influenced the sound, with this album we paid much more attention to the sound in post-production and instead of Žare who mixed the first album we found Todd Burke from LA this time who is a mixing and recording engineer there and he actually contributed a lot and he elevated the professional level of the whole product.
It means that you went from disorder to order?
Jan: We went from a mess to a blooming meadow, yes.
Who is the main author, or rather how do you create?
Bojan: Well, I'm the main author but this album was really like… What can be heard… What can be heard on the album was really a product of all of us because it was actually being made at the rehearsal space Songs were changing a lot from day to day from moment to moment. We tried a thousand and one versions for each one all ideas were welcome so I think that we truly found what everyone liked the best for each song.
As can we can see, now your rehearsal space is pretty nicely done.
Bojan: Yes, our rehearsal space is actually like our holy temple that we built ourselves. And we are immensely proud of it. Here, I think Jure is the most suitable to talk about it because he was, I'll say, the main author.
Jure: Installed the wiring and… Yes. Yes, we have a lovely space now, yes. It's nice, it's nice to come to the space and feel at home. Because it's a different energy and you can be more creative. I remember the beginnings, when we made the space when we first played there, do you remember it?
Bojan: Yes, yes.
Jure: When it was like, "Oh, sick."
Bojan: And then Maček, he thought it was so sick that he slept there for a week.
Jure: I do that even now.
Bojan: The rehearsal space influenced the album's creation a lot. Really, so I would say that a space is one of key elements for the band.
'Vse kar vem'
The second part is the lyrics, who's in charge of those?
Kris: Yes, again, for the most part, Bojan. although on this album one was written entirely by me, and one was a collaborative effort, between me and Bojan. That's actually the very next song, 'Vse kar vem', which we basically, I had an outline of the chorus, when last year, in March 2021, we went…
Jure: That's almost two years ago then.
Kris: Right, no, a year and a half. A year and a half.
Jan: Where were we?
Bojan: You've already had that in Šentjernej
Kris: I'd had it in Šentjernej already? Okay.
Bojan: Yeah, you've already revealed a bit of the chorus.
Kris: Oh, okay, interesting. Well, but we worked it out in March 2021, when we went to a hunting lodge in Lower Carniola and we took the chorus, Bojči changed the vocal melody slightly, we kept the lyrics and we made it into a whole song, which is basically based on these four chords. And he wrote segments of the lyrics, from the verses and the stanzas and the song grew spontaneously. I don't know if either of us even really knows what it means, because the stanzas are kind of in contrast to the chorus, but they come together very well.
On the album cover you are surrounded by mirrors and flowers. Except Nace, you are not there yet.
Nace: That, you asked the wrong person. It's just, when I look at the album cover, ah, the cover's pretty wicked. If you look at all the details in the background, how the guys are positioned, take your time, because I think you should dig into it at least a little bit and admire.
Kris: The album cover, if I may add, basically, if you'd like to see more details of how it was made, or what it all looked like, our new video 'Demoni', which was released a while ago, was basically shot on the same set and the same day, as we were doing the photoshoot for the album cover and it kind of visually supports the title track of the album.
Jure, is there something you wanted to add? For the album cover?
Jure: That they should buy the CD if they wish to see it.
Bojan: I would just add, that we are extremely happy and very grateful for the team, that was responsible for this creation. There was Primož Lukežič on camera along with Mark Pirc on the conceptual design, Andraž Drobnič on the graphic design and Damir, or Ponorelli, who did such a good job of styling us.
Who is in charge of your image?
Jan: Partly ourselves, for…
Bojan: Partly our parents.
Jan: Partly the parents, yes, they take us to Nama occasionally. Well, for the big concerts, for the videos and for the album cover, for the videos 'Katrina' and 'Demoni' and for the concert in Križanke, Damir Ponorelii handled the projects for us. Damir Raković Ponorelii. A good name. Well done, Damir.
Bojan: Rakičan.
Jan: Yeah, I think he, sometimes it's good to have a sixth eye. When we try to style ourselves for a concert and things don't…
Bojan: You mean the 11th and 12th eye?
Jan: Yes. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Right. He's probably got a 13th eye as well, right.
As you mentioned, you also filmed the most recent single, 'Demoni', in the same style?
Bojan: Yeah, we shot the video on the same day, as Kris said earlier, the same day that we shot the cover photo. So, it's seemed quite logical for us to make the most of this set, that's been set up in the studio, the guys have brought from the Ljubljana Marshes the whole covering, the mirrors were set up and it really kind of encapsulated the mood of the song of 'Demoni' and the album itself. And I believe we were pretty much done in two hours. Actually, the post-production was probably more complex for Mark. As you can see in the video, it took a little bit of video-shop skills as well, or whatever they're called.
Kris: Uh, if I may comment, you haven't actually heard this before. A while ago, when Jure and I were guests on the radio, the host said that when he first looked at the video, he was genuinely frightened. That he was a little bit thrown off, right, when he watched it. So in my opinion, we've achieved with the video what we set out to do.
Today, actually, video production is a necessity.
Kris: Yes, it is. Especially for the Balkan market, I believe, a song doesn't exist if it doesn't have a visualization, right, and a video is your way in if you want to. In Slovenia, we still have this way of life, where one would indeed listen to an album or buy a CD, which is nice to know, no.
'Ona'
'Ona' will be next, also in Serbian, and Bojan curses in it. How so? Or is it coincidental?
Bojan: Yeah, you know what, this cursing infiltrated itself very spontaneously in the lyrics. And I'm not the biggest fan of that kind of thing in principle, but it seems to me that in the whole context of the song, that phrase was very fitting, it's just an expression anyway. The thing that you really don't give a * for something, is just part of everyday vocabulary, including me at home. and when I showed it to my parents, they thought it was pretty amusing, not vulgar, and I don't think it's vulgar either, so yeah.
Jure: I'm interested in what your grandma said.
Bojan: But Grandma was mor… Okay, here we go. Grandma was slightly offended the first time she heard it. The deal is, she couldn't quite imagine how anyone could just put something like that it in a song, right. But she told me a month ago, that she really, really loves listening to this song now and that she thinks it is hilarious.
Jure: Yeah, well, come on.
See, now Bojan is no longer a nice little boy.
Jure: Now grandma knows what you're up to, right.
Bojan: Now he's a nice little girl.
How did the listeners respond to the second album?
Jan: According to the interactions we had with them live and through social networks, I'd say pretty good, right. I mean, maybe it wasn't what they were expecting, it definitely wasn't, they weren't expecting techno, bangers and what else we've got, yeah, the Beatles on acid, but I think we've intrigued them, that we kind of poked them, which I think is quite welcome.
The reviews are also positive, as you can read online?
Kris: Well, you know, I've read two so far. One was Croatian and one Slovenian. The Croatian one was maybe even a little bit more positive. The Slovenian one was, basically, based on it still being Shagadelic rock'n'roll or not. See, I don't know, maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Bojan: You know, how you can ask the creator…, anyway, we invented Shagadelic rock'n'roll, right, so, whatever is made by the one who invented it, it's just it.
Jure: It just is.
Bojan: You can't…
Kris: I mean, yeah, okay, I totally agree with that, but you know, they've just based their impression of what Shagadelic rock'n'roll is on our first album, and maybe for most Shagadelic rock'n'roll is, what 'Umazane misli' was. But you have to allow for the possibility, for it to develop, because if you don't you're going to be listening to 'Umazane misli' 2, 3, 4, and 5 for the rest of your life, and we wouldn't want do that. We have decided for the morning after 'Umazane misli' and that is what 'Demoni' is.
What about the initial reactions from the Balkans?
Bojan: Last time we were backstage with Buč Kesidi, who are, let's just say that, at the moment the most active band in the Balkans from the younger generation and they were very, very, very, very, very excited about the album. And for Demoni, they said, "This, bro, is such a bomb, bro, it's gonna be a megahit, bro. I mean, literally, it's killing it, bro."
I mean, Bojan, this sounded very authentic just now and exactly as they'd say it.
Bojan: Yes, yes. That's exactly how it was, right. I didn't make a thing up.
Kris: He basically played the recording just now, since the listeners won't be able to tell.
Probably. Nace, are the listeners the main critics then, underneath the stage, in front of the stage.
Nace: I mean almost certainly. I mean, that's who this music is being made for, they're the reason we go on the road and perform. So I think it couldn't be any other way.
How have they received you as the new member? Is there more buzz around you now?
Nace: I'm not sure if I'm in the spotlight. And I think that neither they nor I, or anyone else for that matter has tried to thrust me into it. But it seems to me, just moving from concert to concert, that they're warming up to me, and so on… They're already shouting, "Nace!" and it feels really nice.
Kris: Has anyone approached you for a photo?
Nace: Yes, they have…
Bojan: They already have.
Nace: They have, they have.
Kris: Oh, great. This is a good sign.
'Tokio'
Next one up will be 'Tokio'.
Jure: Oooh, 'Tokio'. We love playing that one at concerts. I dunno, it's such a vibrant song, really. I'm lost for words…
Bojan: You're full of fun ideas…
Jure: No, you know what, it's 8 PM and my mind's blank.
Bojan: Okay, okay, yeah, we just woke up. Well, the reason is, 'Tokio' is actually… 'Tokio' because my first demo was in English, it was a bunch of gibberish, but in between was 'Dancing in the Streets of Tokyo' and Žarko insisted that this catchphrase has to stay. So, then we were making jokes a bit, about playing in Japan, and that's why I included two sentences in Japanese. And it was really cool, because when we were recording the vocals, we were like, "Okay, what's the Japanese pronunciation now?" and then we called Jan's ex-classmates who are studying Japanese studies, to tell us how to pronounce it, and we called a Japanese lady, someone Žare knew…
Kris: Some Slovenian man, married to a Japanese lady, no idea really, but, Mami Narita…
Bojan: Yes, yes, Mami Narita…
Kris: Yes, yes, yes it's not a joke at all. It's, it's, maybe you should leave this out, so it's not on record, but, it was actually her name, Mami Narita.
Bojan: Don't put this in in, please.
Jure: Yeah, well, whatever, it's a name. Whatever?
Bojan: I mean, she could be the only one in Slovenia.
Or, if you know the singer Stella, you can get in touch now, she's just gone to Japan to study.
Jure: Really?
Bojan: Well, here we go.
Jure: We've met Stella, haven't we?
Bojan: We know Stella, yes. We haven't been in touch for a while, though, but, right, Stella's a great girl. We've met Stella, but, yeah, we're probably not going to be hanging out that much, obviously, if she's going to Japan.
She's already there.
Bojan: She's already there? Maybe we'll visit.
Kris: Maybe the song is about Stella.
You've had a vacation since Križanke, was it an active one or not?
Jan: Yeah, I went to Littoral Slovenia for a week, with a tiny keyboard , among the goats and the hills above the Vipava Valley. And then Jure and I went caravanning around Germany, where our tyre blew up twice, but let's leave out the details. And we bought some new equipment, so, yeah, it was spent actively in part and in part, we did rest.
What about you Bojan?
Bojan: I've spent a few days at the seaside, a few days in Banja Luka at my grandma's, lounging on the sofa all day, eating čevapi and drinking Coca Cola. One day I literally got up from the sofa in the evening, and my grandma said, " Where are you going?" And I said "I'm going to grab something to eat." "No, I'll go!" So I literally wasn't allowed to do anything.
Jure, besides Germany?
Jure: Besides Germany, a week at the sea and afterwards we went to the seaside together, for a couple of days. I don't know, it was nice, but we haven't vacationed in so long, it was a bit weird to go on holiday, right. It's not my usual mode.
Kris?
Kris: Yeah, I've had, let's say, the least, the least laid-back kind of vacation, because on the same night after Križanke, I flew to Peru, where I spent three weeks. We hiked and travelled and basically got very little sleep. All in all, it was a good experience and it basically was the only time when I could make a trip like that possible, a kind of collective vacation, but we had a chance to relax a bit when I got back, we went to Pula for a couple of days, as the guys have already mentioned. and that was my, let's say, my actual time off.
Nace, all you did was practice?
Nace: I did, for the whole month basically, like I've mentioned, and when I didn't practice, I was driving around in the car, and then I practiced in the car.
Bojan: What about the fish?
Nace: That's it, right. And then we went to Pula together that week, that was, what, the last week? Before the first concert, we got to know each other…
Kris: That was the first week of October.
Nace: …a little bit better. The first week of October, yeah. So we had a good time. And then straight to the gig, it was well, yeah. And the fish… Actually, yeah, Bojan and I got a new hobby, we took up fishing, but we've spent a fair amount of time fishing and I have to say, so far, without success. But it's nice, so if anyone knows, a serious fisherman, Bojan and I are really looking for someone, who would take us to a place where we could catch a fish. Even if it's to an aquarium. Just so it happens.
Did you set the wrong bait?
Nace: No, we've tried every bait in the world.
Bojan: I mean, really, we Googled it, we did everything right in theory, but we really didn't catch more than two seabream, and even they were really the size of this microphone I'm talking into. And a fun-fact, just a quick one, Nace took me to a pond, to go fishing, right, because that's where you catch fish. We got to the pond and the gentleman who manages the pond said…
Jure: Fish farm.
Bojan: I mean, yeah, he said… We said, "Where do we buy a ticket?" and he said "Well, no need, there aren't any fish anyway. You can just go for free." Naturally, we didn't catch a thing.
The interview will proceed a little differently, I'm not the one asking the questions anymore, you'll get a new interviewer. Last week I hosted Slick, a rapper from Velenje, with his album 'Sveža plat' ('Fresh Side'), and he asked you four questions. The first question is:
Slick: If you could collaborate with any musician in the history, who would you choose?
Jan: Well, let's say Vivaldi.
Jure (?): Oh, that's what I was going to say…
Jan: Imagine, you know, he shreds on a violin, I shred on a guitar… brrrrrr…
Bojan: I'd say, from the top of my head, Maček, you. Tell me.
Jure: Oh, I guess The Beatles.
Kris: David Bowie.
Nace: Led Zeppelin. To be fair, I've already got Bonham in the band, I'm getting there I'm getting there.
The second question:
Slick: How often do you tell yourself that you don't have time and is that really the case?
Nace: I mean, I say that to myself every minute, but I don't know if it is true. I mean, we all like to whine a little bit sometimes, don't we.
Kris: Yeah, I say I don't have time a lot, but I know that for certain things, that you want to make time for, you take the time.
Jure: Yeah, I agree with Kris, yeah. But our profession is such, that we're not home on the weekends and when someone asks you if you wanna go to a party, or have a drink, you just say you don't have time, right. So, yeah, we don't have time. That happens a lot.
Bojan: I would say, that if … I'd say I don't have time, I'd be lying at some point. But during the summer I actually didn't have time to even think about whether I had time or not. So I am glad that the summer is over.
Jan: Yeah, sometimes you have to put your feet up, so, sometimes I use that excuse to be able to…
Jure: Lie down.
Jan: To lie down, yeah. I mean, I don't actually have much time, but not to have time at all, well, there's that. And stil.
The third question Slick asks you is who in your family has had the biggest impact on the person you are today?
Jan: Probably my mother and my brother…
Bojan: You can't name more people, hey.
Jan: Oh, just one? I guess, as far as music goes, definitely my brother, because he's also a music producer and he was the one who first introduced me to music, and without him I doubt I would be heading in this direction.
Bojan: I would say my father. He's kind of also the biggest supporter of what's going on in my musical head, and whatever's going on with us and he's actually really, really, really happy with all the success. And even when there's failure, he knows just what to say to calm me down.
Jure: You know what, I've been locked in a cellar, and my dad's always said I was made for a pick and a shovel, so…
Bojan: And he wasn't far from the truth.
Jure: Well, yeah, yeah, parents, naturally, right. That's it.
Bojan: Why parents, you have to choose one person…
Jure: Well I can't choose one.
Bojan: How come?
Jue: I can't.
Bojan: Come on.
Jure: They come together.
Bojan: Break someone's heart, won't you?
Jure: Yeah, then I'll say my sister.
Bojan: Here, good one.
Kris?
Kris: For me, I would think it would be quite hard to tell, who has influenced my musical career the most, right, but it is definitely going to be my dad, who was the first who put a guitar in my hands when I wished for one.
Nace: For me, in music, it's must be my cousin, right, because we essentially grew up as brothers. and he brought the guitar to our house, and that's what made me… And he had a band and then I wanted that too, except he's a few years older than me.
And one last question, Did you eat cheese?
Nace: I did.
Kris: I did.
Jure: Yes, I like it very much.
Bojan: I love cheese, too.
Jan: Yes, I've eaten it many times.
Then afterwards you have the same task, so you can start thinking about it, each of you will ask one question to the next guest.
'NGVOT'
The second to last one we're going to play today will be 'Ne govoriva več o tem'. also known as 'NGVOT'.
Kris: More specifically Ngvot. We have chosen that title because, I think that when I first brought the song to the rehearsals in 2018, I already had it spelled out that way. And then, when we wrote it on the setlists it was always 'NGVOT', because it's just too many words, to cram them all into one setlist. But, what's the story behind this song? Because it's a bit different in atmosphere and maybe more naive than the rest of the album. It's a song, as I said, that was made in 2018 and which we kind of, we never really liked it very, very much, but we played it because we needed to be fill our setlist. And then, fortunately or unfortunately for us, it really clicked for us in the concerts, our fans really took to it as one of their songs, and they sang along beautifully at concerts and we basically couldn't imagine doing the second album without the song. So, then we got creative, and we adapted it a little bit into a form that fit us, that was very different from what we played before the album came out. But actually, it fits very nicely now, I think, right. It comes in handy.
Joker Out, to round up this conversation, I see you have very busy days what challenges lie ahead, besides Stožice next year? It's just around the corner.
Jan: We have quite a few plans for the future, which… I don't know if I'd give them away yet, no. But it's… Maybe, at this point it looks like we're going to Hamburg to record the English versions of our songs. That's also a partial answer to the previous question, for Kris, or for anybody, why Serbian and not English. English is coming too.
Bojan: So, that we can join those bands, that go to English and then go back to Slovenian really quickly.
I see you still have CDs as a sound medium? Is that it?
Jure: Yes, and we have a LPs as well. They sell out even faster than CDs, actually, I think. They've made a comeback recently. It seems to me that you have to have this product. When you release an album you have to feel the CD in your hand to say OK, now we've got this.
Bojan: I am absolutely thrilled. I thought we were selling tea coasters all along. Bear coasters, you know?
But you don't sell ID cards.
Kris: Yeah, here we go. Yeah, buy our CD or LP.
Everything about how to get the LP on the website?
Kris: Absolutely, our website is the best guide sign you'll ever see, It's all clearly visible on it, come and have a look.
Bojan: www.allyourneedsunderoneroof.com
And there's a mention of Joker Out somewhere.
Kris:Yeah.
Bojan: Yeah, somewhere at the bottom.
Kris: In sidenotes, right.
Bojan: Yeah, yeah.
You mentioned earlier that there's going to be more singles from the album, not just the two that are already released?
Nace: I think there will be, right. It's just a question of when. Well, 'Demoni' have arrived on Halloween, and now to the next step.
Kris: Yeah, so, well, what should I say...
Jure: Something else might be released, live from Križanke.
Kris: I'm sure there'll be some more live footage, but for now we've got a couple of songs coming out as singles. For me, maybe, I'm not saying it's going to be a single, but I feel 'Ne bi smel' is very much singlelike, the second song on the album. And maybe the others should share which one they see as a single.
Nace: I mean, I also see 'Ona' as a single, right. Definitely. If nothing else, when we play it live, it's it for me. It could be.
Bojan: Honestly, I'll say it like this. Let's give it time, but I think, sooner or later, every single one of these songs is gonna have its singlelike moment. So, keep your eyes open for the videos, the video material, let's not restrict ourselves, you can also find on our website a couple of nice pieces of furniture or home accessories, so you're welcome to visit.
And then in a few more sleeps, it will be the 6th of October 2023.
Jure: Yeah, that'll be quick.
Bojan: What happens then?
Jure: Yeah, Stožice, right. That's it, quick, get the tickets, because they're going to be sold out. I don't know, I feel like we can't wait. Although, we've been waiting six months for Križanke, and it's been pretty exhausting. Now we have to wait a year, so it's only going to get more exhausting.
Bojan: Yeah. Well, the problem with Stožice is, is that truthfully they're so surreal, that, I mean, I really remember the first time we ever set foot in Stožice, when we played at Ritem mladosti (Rhythm of Youth), as an opening band at 7pm, and we said, "Wow, hey, can you imagine everyone coming here because of you, can you?" And now, like three or four years later it's going to happen and it doesn't feel real yet.
'Novi val'
I think we tie this to the last track 'Novi val'.
Bojan: 'Novi val' is one very, very special song for me, because it emerged, from one, how should I say, direct impulse from nature and that was when the fires broke out in the Karst. That's when this phrase came, "Where shall we go from here if we are already setting the horizon ablaze?" and the song was built around that. We kind of felt, that there was a generation, a few generations younger, and maybe a couple of generations older than us, entagled in it, in this preconception that maybe we don't know quite what to do with ourselves or that we are not a good enough contrib… What do you call it, a contribuator to society? I've just made up a word for that. Basically, this song is a bit like I would say an expression of any young person at the moment, who knows that they matter, who knows that their voice counts. and who wants a better tomorrow.
'Novi val' to wrap up this conversation, Jan, Bojan, Jure, Kris and Nace, thank you, for being guests on Radioaktivno and may you be successful and hard-working on your journey. And see you again in a year with the new album?
Bojan: Absolutely, thank you very much for having us, we had a great time last year as well, we remember that interview as a nice one, next year we don't know if there will be an album, but we'll be fresh out of Stožice, really.
Jan: Yeah, thanks for the invitation, we'd love to come again. I agree with what Bojan said.
Jure: I wish everybody a good night, right.
Kris: Good night everyone, the third album may not be next year, but I'm sure there'll be a lot of things to listen to and see.
Jure: But it will be the next one.
Kris: It will be the next one.
Nace: Same from me, right, see you in Stožice. I'm Nace. Still, something like that.
All: We're Joker Out,
Bojan: and you're listening to Radioaktivno.
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venusgirltarot · 1 year
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What Would An Album About You Sound Like?
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Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, envision the person you are thinking of and then choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to.
Pile One
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Ahhh okay this is so cute. Im going to try to explain this as best as I can, Pile 1. So this seems like a concept album. The idea of the album (not the sound but idea ya know) reminds me of “Melodrama” by Lorde. I’ll leave a quote here for a better description but it’s like a concept album about a single night
“Melodrama is described as a loose concept album that explores the theme of solitude, in the framework of a single house party with the events and moods that entail it”
The album about you is similar in the sense that it’s a “loose concept album” but it’s about the writer seeing you. It’s like you’re at this party that the songwriter is also at and they’re obsessed from the moment they lay eyes on you. You’re like this beautiful unobtainable being to them and they want to get to know you so bad but they just can’t seem to talk to you. This could also progress to a one night stand that never progresses to more because of a lack of communication to this album is going through the writer meeting you and watching you throughout the night and then goes into their regrets and what they wish they would have said to you the next day, if that makes sense.
They see you at a party and think you’re so beautiful but can’t seem to find the words to tell you that. I keep hearing “I like the way my bedsheets look on your body” from “hello!” By role model. (I believe that’s the right song but lmk if it’s wrong so I can fix it!) and I keep being reminded of this musician on TikTok “Chappell Roan” and their song “Red Wine Supernova” I think that’s similar to what this album would sound like and it also fits the aesthetic. I highly recommend you listen to this song because it fits your album so perfectly. I tried to find a lyric that resonates the best to include but they all work so well that I couldn’t choose.
Despite this entire album being about only you and just one night leading into the next morning, it’s still so diverse (I hope that makes sense) like you’d think there’s only so many songs you could write about a 12ish hour time frame and one person but this writer has endless things to say about you and the night you met them. I could see one song having a feature and it’s later in the album somewhere between tracks 7-12 or so. The aesthetic of the album is very neon lights, the dance floor on prom night after everything has died down and people are starting to go home, slow, melodramatic and just really pretty. Again, I highly recommend you check out “Red Wine Supernova” because it fits so well.
Track list:
1. Pretty
2. Blooming
3. missing you
4. Shinning Eyes
5. Dying Slow
6. Party Streamers
7. Old Fashioned (Feat. Another Artist)
8. Starlight
9. Nova’s Surprise
10. Sunset
11. morning after
12. You
Pile Two
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Pile two, your album sounds like one written by Hozier, Noah Kahan or The Lumineers. It reminds me a lot of “Angela” by The Lumineers. Specifically the lyric “Angela, spent your whole life running away” and “vacancy, hotel room, lost in me, lost in you” it also reminds me of Ethel Cain in the sense that it’s a concept album about running away and starting a new life (but not as dark as ethel’s and with a much better outcome than she got. I heard “success story” it’s about leaving behind a difficult past and moving forward. There’s hope for the future in these songs, remembrance of the past and healing trauma. It’s a beautiful album with a good balance of different emotions. I could see this album coming with a short film or a series of music videos that piece together to tell a store. Similar to “III” by the Lumineers.
I keep hearing a few snippets from the deluxe version of “Stick Season” (that will be out June 9th 👀) like “Medicate meditate swear your soul to Jesus / Throw a punch fall in love give yourself a reason” or “we ain’t angry at you love, you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost” it’s such a beautiful album with so much soul and emotion.
I could see this album getting an acoustic live version that artists do sometimes like “Album, live from Wherever” you know? This album has very unique and catchy lyrics that stick with people, the type of lyrics people take and sell on things in their Etsy shop or use as a quote in their yearbook or put in their instagram bio. It almost feels like poetry. I also heard “escapism” this is the type of music that paints a picture and takes you somewhere else. This album will kind of chronologically tell a story about you moving forward and healing from trauma and finding a peaceful ending. Ending with a song like “Angelia”
Track list
1. movement
2. Adelaide’s Interlude
3. mother
4. farmhouse
5. leave me behind
6. baby blue
7. mustang
8. you’re gonna go far
9. more than this
10. peace
11. at your own pace
12. growing pains
13. at last
Pile Three
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I feel like this album has a soft rock sort of sound? Like hozier with a rockier edge if that makes sense? It reminds me of the way hozier sings about love. He sings about a very deep and impactful love and his writing his like poetry and I think that’s what an album about you would sound like. I think this album could be about the writer/musician fighting feelings for you because they’re focused on career or are just concerned about the outcome of the relationship. They might have a fear of falling or something.
However, the last card I pulled was the 10 of cups so the outcome is very good. I feel like this album is coming from a reflective place like this is after yourself and your spouse have settled down and had kids or pets or whatever you would like and your partner is looking back at your relationship from the very beginning up until now and writing about it.
I keep hearing “I’m in love with an emo girl” I don’t think this is what the album will sound like but maybe that’s your aesthetic/vibe? This might just be conformation for you. I also keep hearing that Shania Twain song “you’re still the one” this is the kind of album that fans would dissect like narrow down the time you met your person and talk about every lyric and how that lyric relates to you and your relationship etc. this album talks about how devoted and in love with you your person is but also talks about the (I heard “trials and tribulations”) it took for you two to get there so it may include religious reference. Like religion by Lana Del Rey or Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift where there’s this slight aspect of religion/devotion to your partner.
You hear a lot about how you have to actively choose your partner everyday to make a long term relationship work and this album would definitely delve into that a little. It could also be produced by you and your partner’s mutual friends or people who have been there since the beginning or very early in in your relationship. I think this would be a longer album and there’s definitely 18+ songs on there 👀
Track list
1. October
2. Cosmic
3. Full Moon
4. Bourbon Street
5. She’s All Over Me
6. Starla
7. The Empress
8. Diamond Eyes
9. Find More of Me
10. Dreamscape
11. Escapades
12. Midnight
13. You’re All I Need
14. Mirror
15. Apartment 32
16. Deep End
17. Eternity
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avianyuh · 10 months
Note
Hello 👋 can I pls request Taehyung, Jungkook and Yoongi reaction? They left their dogs at their crush's house for a few days but when they come back to take them home, their pets had become very fond and clingy towards their crush and refuses to leave with their owners. Thank you ❤️ ❤️
Request: Yoongi, Taehyung and Jungkook reaction to their dogs liking reader more
I wrote something similar which I'll link for all of the members here but I'll write this too :) Ty Anon
Yoongi:
Yoongi had trusted you with Min Holly for a few days while he was away with work. You texted him frequently to update him on Holly. Also sent lots of pictures of the two of you, which Yoongi secretly loved.
So when he arrived back from his work trip to pick Holly up, he was excited to not only see his dog again, but also you.
"How was he?", Yoongi asked, rubbing Holly's head as he sat on the couch.
"Oh he was great, a total sweethear", you smiled as you gave Holly another treat. "One for the ride home", Y/n said.
Yoongi laughed before asking you if you were free later that week, to which you responded yes. Then he clipped Holly to his leash and tried to walk towards the door, yet Holly wouldn't budge.
"Holly, you have to go home", Y/n said. Yoongi, however, found it amusing.
"I think he wants to stay here with you", Yoongi laughed as he unclipped Holly.
"How about I come visit you for the next few days, to ease Holly into it, you know?", Y/n asked.
"Sounds good to me", Yoongi said, looking forward to the next week.
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Taehyung:
Taehyung had a performance in Japan which required him to leave Yeontan for a few days.
Though Taehyung wasn't dating Y/n, they spent most of their free time together and he couldn't think of anyone better to watch over Yeontan for a few days. He trusted you and he knew Yeontan was great with you.
So, he went to Japan for the week, and facetimed you every night, speaking to you for hours and getting a little screen time with Yeontan too.
So when he got back from Japan, he immediatly went home to greet his furry baby, and of course, you.
Y/n had actually house sat for Taehyung so he didn't need to pick Yeontan up at all.
When he stepped inside, Yeontan immediately trotted over to greet him, with Y/n following from behind.
"Tae! Welcome home", you said, moving to hug him. Taehyung sunk into the hug, missing your warmth and appreciating you more than ever.
The two of you sat for awhile, you asked about his trip, he asked about your week with Yeontan. You know, the usual.
After a few hours and a few episodes of the tv show the two of you had been watching recently, you leaned over to pick up you phone on the coffee table and checked the time.
"Oh, Taehyung, I have to go home soon, it's getting late", Y/n said, standing up and heading towards the door to put on her shoes.
"Aw, alright, call me when you get home.", Taehyung said as he watched Y/n put on her coat.
But what was most surprising was Yeontan, who planted himself in front of the door and wouldn't let Y/n leave.
"Yeontan", Y/n giggled, "I have to go, I'll see you soon!", Y/n said, crouching down so she was eye level with Yeontan.
Taehyung laughed as he stood up and walked over towards the both of them.
He picked up Yeontan and looked at Y/n,"You might as well stay, he doesn;t want you to leave.", he smiled shyly.
"I guess I could stay", Y/n responded, petting Yeontan, a blush creeping onto both, Taehyung and Y/n.
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Jungkook:
Jungkook was currently promoting his solo album and had to go abroad for promotions. He left Bam with you, as he not only trusted you, but he knew that Bam loved you a lot.
So, when he got back from his promotions, he was excited to see you and pick up Bam.
He arrived at your apartment and unlocked the door with the key he had been given by you.
"Oh, Jungkook! You're back!", Y/n said as she walked into the living area, coming to inspect who had opened the door.
Bam followed close behind her, and immediately ran to greet Jungkook, who he had missed dearly.
"Bam missed you", Y/n smiled, watching as Bam come back over to her.
"He seems pretty happy here", Jungkook said, watching as Bam sat in his dog bed that you had boughten for him.
That's what Jungkook loved the most about you, you were so considerate and you took such good care of Bam.
The two of you watched Bam go back and forth between the both of you for the next hour. The two of you caught up about what the other had missed.
But when Jungkook thought it was time to leave, Bam had other plans.
When Jungkook called him over signaling towards the door. Bam stayed firmly planted by Y/n's feet. "Bam, come on we gotta go home", Jungkook said, finding it somewhat amusing. He looked up and watched as you covered your hand over your mouth, trying to stifle a giggle. He called Bam again, yet still nothing. "Bam, I'm serious.", Jungkook laughed, trying to sound stern.
"You don't sound very serious", Y/n joked. "What's the rush to go home...do you not like me", Y/n playfully pouted.
"You know that's not true", Jungkook laughed before heading back towards the couch. He could stay a few more hours.
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ladykailitha · 5 months
Text
Icarus Part 9
Hello and welcome back to this wonderful fic! Like I've said before having a set schedule for each story got hard and I've resorted to posting on vibes alone.
This week's vibes are all over the place because of the pain in my elbow. It's getting better but it's taking every ounce of self-control and self-preservation I have not write as many words a day as I can to make up for lost time and slowly work my way back up to my old schedule so I don't re-injure it.
But as I've said, if you want to see a specific work more often, drop me an ask and I'll see what I can do.
Here we have Eddie being a sweetheart and Steve and his friends being dorks.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
****
NDAs were such a large part of Steve’s life he couldn’t remember a time he didn’t have them. For everything.
Even producers had to sign them before they could even breathe in the direction of The Fallen in the recording studio.
It was an exhausting but necessary part of his life. Just like the locked room in his apartment.
Shane and Spence had done an amazing job with Steve’s little notebook of song material. And shocker, only two of them were love songs. Most of the rest of the songs were about trying to survive in a world you had to hide.
He knew that a lot of critics would tell them to lose the masks if it bothered them so much, but at this point Steve didn’t care. They were working on their third album in three years and he was fucking tired.
“Again, from the top,” the producer said into the com. “Abbadon you got a little pitchy on the second line. Watch it. Astraeus, you’re coming in too early. It’s duh-ba-ba-dun and then you come in. You’re coming in on the first ba.”
Steve and Shane nodded and they began again.
Steve’s brain thought it was going to melt out of his ears. He had a test for his certification after today’s session in the studio and he was sure all the information would have leaked out by then.
But apparently Steve’s brain went on autopilot taking the test, and not only did he pass, he passed with full marks.
Spence clapped Steve shoulder. “Hey, man if this whole rockstar gig ever falls apart, you should come be an EMT with me.”
Steve grinned back. That wasn’t a bad idea actually. With his lifeguard training and his affinity for thinking well under pressure, it really was the ideal job.
“I might just take you up on that.”
They broke up for the day and as Steve was putting away his guitar his phone rang.
“Hey, Eds,” he greeted.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie replied. “How did your test go?”
“I aced it!” Steve said, bouncing on the tips of his toes in excitement.
“What?” Eddie cried. “Baby, that’s so amazing! We’ll definitely go out tonight and celebrate. But that’s not the reason I’m calling.”
“Oh?” Steve asked.
“How far are you guys into the album?” Eddie asked, hesitantly.
Steve frowned for a moment. He looked over at Spence and Hopper. They had all had a really rough session today and it had become almost grueling in a way that the other two albums never felt.
“Not as far as we’d like,” Steve admitted. If anyone knew what they were going through it was Eddie.
“I’m sorry, babe,” Eddie commiserated. “Would it be better to continue at it or take break touring?”
Steve scratched his cheek thoughtfully. It would be nice to actually take time with the album and not push it out as quickly as possible.
“A break for sure,” Steve murmured. “We’re on our third album in three years, and even though we just got back from a tour, it was less exhausting than being in the studio right now.”
Eddie was silent for a moment. “Have you thought about changing the studio you’re working in? Sometimes a change of scenery can help.”
“I guess we could try,” Steve muttered. “I just didn’t think we had that kind of pull with the record label yet. I’ll call Robin later and see what she can do.”
Eddie hummed in agreement. “So the reason I was asking, babe, is that they have given us a choice of two sets of dates. One that would start at the beginning of the new year and one that would start next summer. And since we’re taking you with us, our management is going to coordinate with yours.”
“Oh.”
Steve wasn’t sure which he would prefer, if he was being honest. “Can I talk to my boys and get back to you on that?”
“Sure thing, Stevie,” Eddie said fondly. “You can tell all about what you guys decided when we meet up for drinks tonight, how does that sound?”
Steve let out a little sigh of relief. “Yeah, that sounds great, Eds. Text me the details.”
“You’ve got it!” Eddie said and then they both said their goodbyes and hang up.
More work, Steve thought mournfully. He didn’t want more work. He was tired and miserable and he should have been happy. The record was liking the album so far, they were about to go on tour with the biggest metal band in the world, he was dating Eddie. Why wasn’t he happy?
He put his head in his hands and forced himself to breathe. He knew that a lot of what he was feeling was being forced to wait when he didn’t want to.
That even if he was out as Abbadon, he couldn’t be out with Eddie. Both of their labels would have literal bitch fits. They could be out to their friends, but as far as the media went, that was off limits. Being bisexual or gay was better now, but it could still tank their careers if they came out with actual same sex partners. Steve’s career especially, new as it was.
Steve let out a low shuddering breath. This whole masked identities shit was tough. He didn’t know how those other bands could handle it. Maybe the difference was that their families knew. He honestly didn’t know.
But he had chosen to walk down this road. When they first started playing and getting turned away by how they looked, they chose to not change themselves, but to become someone else. And it worked and he really couldn’t argue with the results.
Steve loved his job. He loved that he got be in a band with his best friends and that his platonic soulmate was their manager. He loved getting out there on stage and singing his heart out. But it was hard sometimes.
He pulled out his phone and called Robin. “Hey, what are the label’s requirement on getting this album done? Like does it have to be at this studio with this producer?”
“One sec,” Robin said, pulling it up on her computer. She scanned the document complete with searching for key words. “Doesn’t look like it. Why? What’s up?”
“You know how we’ve hit a wall in the studio?” Steve asked around chewing on his thumb.
She scoffed. Of course she knew. “And you’re thinking a change of venue might help or at the very least a new producer?”
“Yeah...” Steve said. “Eddie suggested it, but I wasn’t sure if we had that kind of clout with the record label.”
Robin was quiet on the line, but Steve could feel the cogs in her head turn. “I’ll get on it.”
“Thanks,” he said, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Did Eddie’s label send over the tour dates?”
“Let’s see...” she hummed. “Yup! I’m reading through them... and I’m guessing you to talk with everyone before making a final decision?”
“Right in one,” Steve said. “Preferably with whether or not we get someone else in to produce.”
“You’ve got it, babe,” she said. “Does this have a deadline?”
“Eddie said he would like to know by tonight,” he said, “but I can tell him we’re still working things out and that’s we’ll get back to him.”
“That would be ideal, yes.”
Steve huffed out a laugh. “I’ll still talk to the boys and at least get a feel for what they’re thinking even if we can’t shift producers or studio.”
“Sounds good,” Robin said. “I’ll get back to you as soon as I learn anything.”
He hung up and pulled up the group chat and messaged his friends to meet at his place. He had stuff he wanted to talk with them regarding upcoming tour dates.
Simon and Shane texted back immediately. Spence had left them on read for about fifteen minutes before responding with a question about how long they would be.
And then the ribbing began.
-Oohh...you with that girl?- Shane
-He totally is!!- Simon
-Pics or it didn’t happen- Steve
-Pics!- Simon
-Yeah, man, is she cute?- Shane
-Why do you care, Shane? You’re gay- Spence
-Because like a flower I can appreciate the feminine form, even if I don’t want to fuck it- Shane
Pic comes in of Spence on his couch with a gorgeous dark-skinned woman with soulful eyes and long black hair.
-Meet Nadia
-Lucky guy!- Simon
-That’s quite the flower :P- Shane
-Yeahhh...I’m sorry, man, as much as I would like to let you stay with your lady love, we really need to talk. Business. :(
-I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. -Spence
-lol! You keep telling yourself that and maybe one day I’ll believe you- Shane
-GASP! Spence doesn’t love us! :’(- Simon
-Damn it. Fine I love you all- Spence
-Simon uses sad emoji against Spence, it’s super effective! (pokeball emoji)- Steve
-Meet at my place as soon as you can- Steve
There was the usual chorus of affirmative responses and Steve set down his phone.
He looked up at the ceiling as he huffed out a sigh. His friends were on the way, Robin was trying to fix the problem with them hitting a brick wall making their album, and Eddie was supportive.
It helped that Spence was dating now, too. They could commiserate about their love lives.
Simon hated that while he could get girls as Asmodeus but not as himself he swore off dating until he found someone who liked him for him and not just because he was a rock god.
Shane just liked having fun. Wherever that took him. Usually gay bars with lots of booze and dancing.
They weren’t “rich and famous” enough for the wild parties and shit. At least not yet. They were getting a lot traction with their second major album though so that was probably going to change fast.
Steve just glad that he would have Eddie and Robin holding his hand though this.
He looked over at the contract on his table and sighed. Like Spence, he really did love his job. And he knew that there were hundreds of bands wishing to be in his shoes.
He could do this.
He was, after all Abbadon, lead singer of The Fallen and he knew how to do this shit.
****
Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21
Tag List:
@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03
@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie
@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach
@val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch
@bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian
@thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners
@thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade
@cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars
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solitarydemise · 5 months
Text
Somebody's Watching Me
!StalkerEddie !FemReader
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Summary:It's your second year in college and the stranger at your school is your secret stalker.
Warnings:Stalking,home invasion,smoking
𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐
While you were studying,your phone ringed and an unknown number was calling you. You would never answer these calls before,but you had a lot of acquaintances at school and since you were in charge of most of the activities,other students was calling you often. You answered the phone "Hello." there was nothing from the other end. Thinking there might be a line outage,you repeated "Hello?" there was no sound again. You just knew that the other person was a man. Because he was breathing with a deep voice,he was doing it intensely.You stayed silent for a few seconds and hanged up the phone and looked at the time. It was almost your bedtime and you got up from your desk and walked towards your window. There was a bus stop right in front of your house and a man was sitting at bench. You didn't care because it wouldn't be right to watch someone on the street through your window. You closed your curtains and walked towards your bed.
You almost had a nervous breakdown while getting ready for school at next morning. You couldn't find the black blouse you always wore. It was a rather small and thin piece and would often get lost among your other clothes. You would have been late for school if you kept looking for that blouse,so you grabbed another shirt and quickly walked to the bathroom.
"I was almost going to cry!" Jessica laughed at you "Don't exaggerate,it's just a blouse." You looked at her and sat down at one of the tables in the cafeteria "Yeah,but it's annoying losing my stuff especially when I'm about to be late Jess" you said. Every year there was a student passport photo shoot at your school,and today was one of those days. After the meal,you and Jessica went to the area where you would take photos and started waiting in line. Students in the photography club were taking your photos,and they also took care of the album for each graduating year. When it was your turn, you sat on the small stool and fixed your hair. There was a long-haired boy you'd never seen before,you couldn't even see his face properly because he put the camera viewfinder to his eye as you sat down.
He took your picture a few times and you blinked involuntarily when the flash went off. He moved the camera away from his eye and looked at the photo "I'm so sorry my eyes are very sensitive." you said. "It's okay" he spoke as he adjusted the lens without looking at you. You could barely hear his voice,you looked at his hands as he readjusted his camera. He had a tattoo and a chain bracelet. Afterwards he took the picture again. You stood up from the chair and when you looked at the boy again,you couldn't see his face again, his long hair was covering his face when he bowed his head. After Jessica got on the bus,you put on your headphones and started walking home. Two of you had homes in different places and you lived quite close to the school. You and Jessica had lost track of time in the library and it was already dark.
Spring was coming and the weather was very nice. When you saw the cats next to the garbage,you walked towards it and took out the cat food that was always in your bag. The cats were starting to come to you and you smiled "Mommy is here" You bent down and started feeding the cats. Your headphones were still on and after a few seconds,you quickly looked back because of the strange and scary feeling you felt behind you. There was no one around,whenever you went for a walk alone you had the feeling that someone was following or watching you. Even though a few minutes had passed,you couldn't shake that uncomfortable feeling and you decided to leave.
When you came home,you were face chatting with Jessica and cooking at the same time. You opened your window and curtains to prevent the smell of oil. A few minutes later,you paused with the flash light coming from outside. "What the fuck was that?" Jessica asked "What?" while you continued to look outside "There was a light coming from outside, could someone have taken my photo?" you said with fear. Jessica laughed “Why would anyone take your photo?” you closed your curtains "I don't know". "It must be a UFO" Jessica said. Jessica liked to joke about things like this,but you knew this situation was nothing like that. Whenever you were under such a stress like that,something came out from under. That night,you couldn't concentrate on anything because of that stress and fell asleep while watching a movie.
When you woke up,you realized you already missed class time. You got angry at yourself and got up from your bed while swearing. You were already late for school so you took a shower,got dressed and went out to enjoy your day. There was a beautiful park near your house and you exercised there every weekend. Since you slept late last night,you were only going for a run today. While you were jogging through the trees with your headphones on,you couldn't take away that feeling inside you. Your neighborhood was not that safe place and had to be cautious of everything. At the same time,you were thinking about the fact that maybe these were your ridiculous theories. Music couldn't relax you so you called your sister. You were running at a fast pace while continuing to talk with her. After a few minutes,you got tired and sat down on one of the benches and continued talking to your sister. At that time you were just talking to your sister,unaware that dozens of photos of you were being taken.
1 Week Later
This year's albums are almost ready to be released. Members of each club had their photos taken, but no one showed up for the music club you were in. Sam put down the guitar he was holding and looked at you "You should ask the photographers,they missed us" You looked at Sam "But I don't know any of them". "There's a darkroom downstairs next to the lab." Emma said. You took a deep breath, "Okay, I'll ask one of them."
After your rehearsal was over,you went to the place Emma described and found the room used by the photographer students. You walked in without letting much light in and looked around. Everywhere was red,it was a very interesting place but there was no one there. While the students were away,you started to look around more closely. You went to the corner of the room and were horrified when you looked at the photos hanging on small pegs. They were all your photos,from a few months ago or even 5 months ago. While cooking in the kitchen, feeding the cats,relaxing in the park and jogging,changing your clothes.Your head was starting to spin and your body was getting hot, you held on to the table next to you because you felt like you were going to faint,your stomach was starting to feel nauseous. Anxiety was taking over your entire body. A few seconds later,the door opened. White asnd red light mixed together. The last thing you remember was a boy approaching you,you had a panic attack and fainted.
𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐
Pt.2 is soon♡♡
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nomizombie · 9 months
Text
(2) Fanboy!König x Rockstar!GN!Reader 🎸🎤🎶
[SFW/Wholesome] ; more rocking out!!!! Mutual pining, gender neutral, no usage of y/n!!! Author has never been to a concert or been a rockstar, not proofread…
[A/N] ; ty for all the nice comments on my last post! my face is gonna be sore from all that smiling 😭😭 heres a continuation from the last part, hope you enjoy!!! :)))
Part 1
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Your hand hovered over the call button. Would it be so bad to call him? I mean, he did write his number down. The least you could do is call it. Thats normal. Yeah, that’s completely normal.
You tapped the call button and waited (for 3 seconds) until you heard the familiar click.
Silence.
“Hello?” You called out.
More silence.
“This is König right?”
Even more silence. Unbeknownst to you, König was a trembling mess on the other end. He parted his lips and no sound came out.
“Ah, I’ll just hang up then. Must’ve been a wrong number-“
“The albums. Thank you for signing them.” A meek voice spoke.
“So you are there after all!”
You hear nervous laughter on the other end.
“Sorry. Um. Whats the word? Starstruck?”
You couldn’t help but giggle.
“‘s alright, König.” His name was getting easier to say the more you said it.
More silence.
“Your singing. It was great.” He spoke again. This time a bit more confident.
“Well, I would assume so since you have so much merch of me.”
“Ah. Right.”
More silence. He was a lot more awkward over the phone.
“So… do you like the band or do you like me?”
Even more silence. Maybe you pushed too far. Maybe a guy like him doesn’t like teasing-
“You. You’re a good singer.“
You chuckled as you heard his response. Nevermind that, teasing him was fun. You could imagine the shaky hands as he held his phone, the pink tips of his ears, and the quietness as he thought of a response. How cute.
“Only good?
You pushed further.
More silence.
“It’s amazing. I’m in a trance when I listen to you.”
Now it was your turn to blush from your cheeks to your neck. Such simple words but it felt so good coming from him.
...
You had never texted with someone so much. Especially not someone as kind as him.
Every waking second, you spent tapping away on your phone. Before you fell asleep, in between shows, even during a meal with your bandmates.
It started off simple. You sent him a quick thank you message for the necklace and he responded with an also simple thanks for the handshake. Then, he followed up with another message complimenting your performance, and that might've been when you started expecting his texts.
Weeks later, you two continued to talk nearly everyday. Obviously, people began to notice. Your small smiles and giggles were frequent enough that even your manager got suspicious.
“Got someone special?” She snickered as she gripped the steering wheel. You couldn’t see her face but you just knew that she was raising a brow at the rapid screen smacking of your phone.
“Huh?- No! Its just a friend…” you quickly clarified.
Her eyebrow climbed a little higher as she gave you the look in the rear view mirror.
“Doesn’t seem like just a friend.” She laughed again, noticing your red cheeks, "Hey, I won’t get mad, I promise.”
Your cheeks continued to burn as she tilted her head to the side, silver earrings dangling and clinking as she waited.
“Okay, fine. He’s a fan from our December show.” You sighed. You really couldn’t hide anything from her, could you?
She gasped, “A fan?! Gasp! Our lead singer is into groupies!”
“He’s not a groupie! Its just- How do I explain this… He’s really fun to talk to.” This time your entire face burned.
“Fun, huh? Well I will warn you, dating a fan never goes well. Be careful alright? Can’t have our star vocalist getting heart broken now, can we?” She tutted her finger at you. Surely an experienced warning.
Before long you had arrived at the concert hall. This gig was probably the biggest youve had in months. Hundreds- no, thousands would be here tonight, watching you play. But, you could care less about the numbers, you only needed one person to come, the massive fanboy that you’ve been texting everyday the last few weeks.
You hands reach for your phone.
- im here at the venue. you almost here?
- Yes. Almost. Good luck with your show.
You two had been texting for weeks now, nearly everyday (or more accurately every hour) but he was still super formal with you. It was almost a little adorable that he still felt nervous interacting with you.
- awesome!! see ya :D
The typing animation played for a long time, disappearing and reappearing a few times before he finally responded.
- See you soon. 👍
An emoji. That's new. You grinned at the thought of him struggling to text you but that was quickly forgotten when you felt a cold hand on your shoulder.
"Stop texting your friend and start your warm ups! People are starting to come inside!" Your manager growled before quickly ushering you into your changing room.
By the time you stepped onto the stage, you were still struggling to rid your mind of thoughts of him. It's funny how much this boy has completely taken over your brain. But nevertheless, you greeted the crowd, strummed your electric guitar and started off with a new song. This one about your most recent obsession.
As you sang, walking from stage end-to-end you found yourself scanning the crowd for your favorite fan. But, oddly enough, he was nowhere to be found.
"That's odd." You muttered under your breath. Seriously. You have a massive audience tonight and the only thing on your mind right now is König? Get your head in the game.
Sweat beads dripped down your neck as you jumped up and down on stage, hyping up the crowd as you continued to hit ever note. The music was the only thing you could think about. You soon fell into the groove of the song, but yet, he still remained at the back of your mind.
With one final strum, you sank to your knees, panting. When's the last time you had really felt the rhythm? You smiled. Your new obsession was your muse.
As you trudged off stage, a damp mess dragging your feet behind you, you suddenly hit a wall. A very tall and solid wall.
You hissed, rubbing your sore nose as you opened your eyes. Once again, the worn out logo of your band crowded your vision. Your gaze travelled upwards as you finally realized that this wall, is in fact, not a wall.
A pair of beady eyes in a balaclava stared down at you.
"Hi." He said quietly.
"K-König! What are you doing offstage?!" You suddenly remembered how sticky and dewy your skin was, how damp your shirt was and the crazed, frizzy hair. You smoothed your hair out and wiped your face on the sleeve of your shirt frantically.
"Why are you here?" You asked a bit more calmer this time.
His ears turned a light red as he averted his gaze.
"Well... I wanted to watch you from here... and your manager… let me in." He breathed. Pausing in between words as he grew a little redder.
"My manager- her?!" Your calmness had left just as fast as it appeared.
He blinked at you. A few seconds of silence before nodding his head and rubbing his neck nervously.
"Ja, that's right."
"Holy shit- wait, how'd she know who you are..?" You asked curiously. You had never once mentioned his name or described him to her.
"Oh, uh..." He thought for a moment, finding the words in English.
"She's my... How do I say, like- aunt but not, kind of like my mother's friend." He muttered the last part quickly.
That explained the collection of exclusive merch.
Noticing your confusion, he continued, "Ah, it's not important. Your voice, lovely as always."
"Thank you, König." You grinned at him, your eyes squinting as you smiled.
His eyes widened before squinting as well. The way you said his name always made his heart jump in his chest. Meanwhile, you just couldn't get enough of his eye-smile.
The conversation was silent again. He stared anxiously at you before lowering his head.
“Can I… ask you something?”
“Of course, shoot away.”
He went quiet, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, before continuing.
"Well- do you, um..." His signature stuttering and stumbling over his words.
You hummed curiously.
"Do you want to get a-a drink together? Later? I'll wait for your autograph session and then I was wondering if you wanted to go out perhaps, of course you don't have to it was a stupid question, wasn't it? Excuse me then, I shouldn't have asked-"
"Of course. I would love to," you cut him off. His rambling was strangely... endearing?
Shock filled his eyes before he chuckled nervously.
"Ah. Sorry- I got a little anxious."
"It's okay!" You laughed. How was this behemoth man so cute? “What time?"
"I'll text you." He smiled and you noticed how his eyes crinkled when he did. That was never going to leave your memory, was it?
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dividers by @mmadeinheavenn !!!!
Hii!!! If you got it this far, tysm for reading!!! ❤️❤️ Lmk if youd like more!! I like this au but i would also love to expand! If you have any ideas my requests are always open :)!!!
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the-amazing-boop · 1 year
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My track by track first impressions for Unreal Unearth (with some contextualized thoughts of the singles)
De Selby Part 1 - straight into the lullabies playlist. Just perfect.
De Selby Part 2 - perfect fade in from Part 1. I couldn't have dreamt up a better, more subtle transition. Still my current creature comfort.
First Time - oh, ffs, it's bluesy and sad. Lethal combination. This might be another one on repeat later. Ow. Ouch, ow. THE FINAL TIME YOU CALLED ME "BABY". Wtf. I see why some of y'all were cussing him out on here.
Francesca - my beloved. Brutal to have this follow First Time, though. Mentally two-stepping through the tears. The bellowing at the outro still has the power to ascend me despite my replaying.
I,Carrion - another certified heartbreaker for the lullabies playlist. She's Greek, she's cosmic, she's pure love.
Eat Your Young - I am once again solidified in my conviction to refuse having children in this fucked up world. Y'all be safe.
Damage Gets Done (feat. Brandi Carlile) - Okay guitar lick! Oh the voices belting together in harmony is hitting me. I'm getting really 2010s feelings I haven't felt in forever. I feel the sudden urge to forgive myself. He's back at it again with the choral work, CAN I LIVE??
Who We Are - and just like that, I'm back on my emo shit. He really went for emotional whiplash in terms of song ordering, huh? Not me literally listening to this while engulfed in a dark room as well. Another one I'll have to repeat, I fear.
Son of Nyx - oh fuck. Oh no. Not the piano dragging along. And no words. THE CUTOFF. THE STRINGS. THE VOCALIZATIONS. It's definitely a warning. Shit's about to start hurting for real. It's so haunting and gorgeous.
All Things End - Hello, old friend, my first favorite. I'm terrified of what follows you. It was bad enough watching the man "die" on the table (my hands are in the air to receive the gospel).
To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - fucking hell. Just devastating. Idk how much more I can take.
Butchered Tongue - this hits like crazy if you have any connection to a diaspora that was nearly erased or just have ancestry DEEPLY rooted oppression and the like. Ffs, I'm gonna need stitches for a cut that deep.
Anything But - and then this happy shit. Back at it again with the whiplash, the bastard. I love it though! This is going on the light and bright playlist. I'm a sucker for sad lyrics dressed in bright colors. And the vocals?? Come on, now.
Abstract (Psychopomp) - I was right. Everything following Son of Nyx just hurts differently. Dare I say worse than the first half of the album. I really shouldn't get into how I relate OFTEN to the poor roadkill creatures in my area.
Unknown/Nth - a nice and plentiful helping of stake through the heart, as usual. The briiidge. I drown in it every time.
First Light - I'm gonna say it's an instant classic. The imagery. The love on love on love. The catharsis. The drumsss. Oh! The acoustic fade out.
Overall, he didn't bother not once to lift his heel on this album. He's outdone himself. No skips. I am foaming at the mouth, waiting for my vinyl to come in. All get 10s across the board from me. 16 works of art. I really wish I could lock myself in a room for three days to really digest this album.
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louloulemons-posts · 1 year
Note
weirdly specific I know but what about fem!goth!reader who's been best friends with eddie for years. he thinks he knows everything about her until one day he climbs through her window to hang (bc of course he does, he can't use a door like a normal person, even if her parents aren't home, where's the fun in that?) and finds her rocking out to taylor swift and it turns out shes a massive closet swiftie.
Weird But F-ing Beautiful
Modern!Eddie X Fem!Gothic!Reader
Summary : You were a metal head with a secret, you love Taylor Swift.
Word Count : 1k
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(How I imagine Reader would defend Taylor)
Warnings : not proofread, 3am writing (again-pls someone save my sleep schedule), so many taylor references!, swears, petnames, cuteness, eddie and reader are just adorable honestly
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
You and Eddie had known each other for years now, you’d say he was your best friend in the whole world.
The pair of you had a lot in common, you were both unusual and unique people. You bonded over that, along with your love of bands like Metallica and Black Sabbath.
You’d always liked darker things, loving halloween whilst most liked christmas. Horror movies and true crime documentaries brought you comfort.
Complaining about summer as your dark wardrobe made the heat cling to you, it was just the person you were. But you had a secret, one that even Eddie didn’t know of.
You absolutely loved Taylor Swift. You’d found yourself bopping along to one of her songs that was on the radio and were hooked, owing all of her albums and having them on regularly.
Enter Sandman to All of the Girls you Loved Before was quite the contrast, but you loved it.Walking down the halls to your locker, Lover was playing in your ears.
People who passed you wouldn’t think that, ripped tights, a skirt that went just above your knees, dark top with long flowing sleeves - bat wings Eddie liked to call them.
Fingers and neck decorated in mismatching jewels, huge boots, a corset around your waist and eye liner that took longer than you’d care to admit. Love Story didn’t really look like a song that’d be your favourite.
Arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing you softly. Pulling out an earbud you spoke, “Edward.”
“Hello Sweetheart.”
“What can I do for you?”
“Milkshakes?”
“You paying?”
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
Sipping on your strawberry shake you chuckled at Eddie, leaning over the table you wiped whipped cream off his nose. “Thank you,” he blushed.
“Don’t mention it Rockstar.”
“Sooo,” he said.
“Hm?”
“I may or may not have gotten two tickets to see one of the best bands of all time, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with?”
“Oh my god One Direction have reunited?” You laughed, “Shut up. Will you come with me?”
“I mean I guess I could free up some time for you,” you smirked, taking another sip of your shake.
“Cool.”
“Cool.”
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
“Thank you for the milkshake.”
“Anytime Sweetheart, I’ll text you the details of the concert and stuff.”
“Please do. I’ll see you later,” Leaning over and kissing his cheek, cherry red stain being left on his skin.
Heading up to your room, neither of your parents were home yet. Throwing your bag down you put a record on, Taylor.
Humming to yourself as you undid your boots, you decided to start on some homework. Turning up the music and tuning everything out for a while.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
Stood in front of your mirror, you began wiping your makeup from your face, eventually singing along. “I remember when we broke up,” you sang softly, humming mainly.
Sliding off your rings and necklaces, your hair being pulled out of your face, comfortable for the night. God how did this woman make these songs so catchy? What was in them?
You couldn’t help yourself, “I used to think we were forever ever …” You put your books away, cleaning your desk, “We are never ever ever getting back together!”
Dancing around your room, you laughed as you spun around your room. These songs just made you so happy, “We are never ever ever ever getting back together!”
“Okay I get the message,” a voice laughed.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” you screamed.
“Wow chill it’s me.” Eddie.
Storming over to your record player you turned it down, Stay Stay Stay playing quietly in the background. “What the fuck are you doing here? How’d you get in?” you shouted.
“Window. Came to bring this back, wasn’t expecting a concert.”
“Oh fuck off Edward,” you huffed, taking a ring out of his hand. Turning away from him and putting it with your others.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I um didn’t know you liked this music.”
“Well I do, got an issue?”
“No. Just … do you actually like metal or was that just umm …”
“I like both okay? Sometimes I just want to feel like a happy, silly teenage girl. Her music helps me do that, or if I need to cry, or fall in love or anything really. I love metal, I didn’t lie!”
“Okay. I believe you. She’s cool.”
“You think?”
“Well you like her, so she must be.”
“Shut up,” you smiled.
“I’m serious. Teach me the way of Taylor Swift,” he grinned, dropping on your bed.
“Well thats 10 albums, and then there’s Taylor’s versions.”
“God you’re a proper little nerd.”
“Says the one who loves D&D,” you smacked him lightly.
“I’m not saying she’s bad! I like that one umm … Enchanted?”
“Yes! It’s her newest re-release, god I love that album and 1989s out soon as well.”
“Slow down babe, you’re losing me.”
“Sorry, so um Enchanted?” you asked, standing up, pulling the vinyl out of its case, replacing it on the record player. The song played softly. “It’s beautiful.”
“It is,” you smiled, turning back to Eddie. “Thank you for bringing my ring back, where was it?”
“My van, must have fallen off.”
“Or you stole it.”
“Me?” You nodded.
“Don’t think it’d fit Sweetheart.” The chorus played, and Eddie began to hum along, standing to be in front of you. “I like this other side of you.”
“Thought you’d make fun of me.”
“I’d never. I like all parts of you, this might be my new favourite, maybe we can see her concert.”
You snorted, “You willing to sell a couple organs?”
“For you, I do anything.” You smiled up at him softly, he nudged your nose with his.
“As Taylor said, I was Enchanted to meet you,” he smiled, leaning down to press his lips to yours.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
A/N : This was so fun to do! I just jammed out to Taylor the whole time and it was great. Thank you so much for this request I hope you enjoyed it 🤍
Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍
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doc-pickles · 9 months
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sent to save me | sidney crosby (ch. 1)
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series masterlist
summary: sid meets nikita’s best friend and runs into a ghost from the past
warnings: none! :)
author’s note: hello! sooooooooo I have probably a million other things to do/write but this came to me and I knew I needed to write it. this is going to be a series and will probably be a lot angstier than my vegas series. I have some ideas for what’s going to happen and I can’t wait to share them with y’all!! anyways I hope yall enjoy this!
xoxo
nina
(ps - title is from ‘always been you’ by shawn mendes)
It starts off innocently enough. He’s at Geno’s for dinner like he does once a week. Nikita is babbling away next to him about everything he’s learning in first grade.
“And Mrs. Riley is super nice and I get to sit next to Vivie who always shares her fruit snacks,” Nikita says all of this at a speed that Sid can barely comprehend but he simply nods at his godson.
“Always with Vivie,” Anna coos as she ruffles Nikita’s hair, her other hand coming to rest against her swollen belly. “Attached at the leg you two.”
Sid chuckles and gently corrects Anya which has her rolling her eyes as she squeezes his arm. Being with his best friend and his family made going home to an empty house hard, but Sid knew he wouldn’t trade his weekly dinners at the Malkin house for anything.
“Vivie is my best friend in the whole world,” Niki rambles on as he runs out of the room. He comes back with a picture frame and shows it proudly to Sid. “This is us at science camp over the summer.”
Sid’s brows furrow as soon as he looks at the photo. The little girl with her arm wrapped around Nikita is a bit shorter than him, dirty blonde hair pulled back into braids. Her big brown eyes are staring up at the camera, upturned nose and gap toothed grin framed with freckles and a set of dimples. Sid stares at the photo for probably a bit too long, the little girl looking somehow familiar even though he knows he’s never met her.
“Nice picture Niki,” Sid smiles when he finally tears his eyes away from the frame. Anya is watching him carefully but doesn’t say anything as Nikita begins talking about how much he loves math.
The rest of the night is uneventful, Geno’s steak and potatoes going over well with everyone at the table. If he and Anya notice that Sid is quieter than usual they don’t say anything to him. It’s not until he’s playing outside with Nikita after dinner that Sid catches his friends whispering to each other as they wash dishes.
When he gets home later Sidney doesn’t even take his shoes off before he’s walking down the hallway to his study. The photo album is tucked into the farthest bookshelf, the dark leather binding helping it to blend in. But he knows exactly where it is, exactly what it feels like in his hands. He pulls it off the shelf and holds it for a moment before opening it to the first page.
‘To Sidney, the love of my life. Happy anniversary babe!
xoxo A’
The handwriting is loopy and decidedly womanly. He traces his fingers over the words reverently before flipping the page. Sid’s breath hitches as his eyes lock on the photo there. Blonde hair, shining green eyes, and a dimpled smile so wide he still sees it every once in a while when he closes his eyes.
There’s a part of him that wants so badly to flip through every page, to take in the smiling woman on the pages and the version of himself that seems to have faded without her. Instead he closes the photo book, shelving it again before he goes out to the living room and pours himself a glass of scotch.
“Why the hell am I still here if you can’t make me a priority Sidney?”
“I’m trying! Don’t you see that? But I also have a team to think about, a whole fucking franchise riding on my shoulders! Don’t they matter too?”
The night and all of his regrets replayed in Sid’s head often. Annie’s tear soaked face, the words they both carelessly yelled at each other. His front door slamming, her things gone from his house by the time he came back from his next road trip.
He’d wanted Annie and hockey, wanted her to see that he was trying to make them both a priority but it hadn’t been enough for her. He hadn’t been enough for her.
And in the end none of it had mattered because three weeks after their argument Sid had shattered his knee in what would be his last game as a Penguin.
Yeah he missed hockey, but he missed Annie Wright more than anything else.
+
A week later Anna’s water breaks in the middle of the night. Sidney drives over and crashes on Geno’s couch as they head to the hospital together. When he wakes up Nikita is poking his cheek with a frown.
“Hey bud,” Sid yawns as he wipes a hand over his face. “Your mom and dad went to the hospital, looks like you’re gonna be a big brother soon.”
Nikita seems wholly unimpressed as he looks at his godfather, “Can we get McDonald’s breakfast before school?”
And because he’s a sucker for Niki, Sid agrees.
By the time they’re pulling up to Nikita’s school Sid is more awake, parking and following Niki up the path to his classroom.
“I’ll pick you up later too bud,” Sid tells him as he ruffles his hair. “Then maybe we can go see your little sister.”
“Nikita!”
Both Sidney and Nikita whip around at the excited voice, watching as a little girl runs up to them. Sid immediately clocks her as Vivie from the picture Nikita showed him. She’s sporting white overalls and a pink sweater, her blonde curls bouncing around in the pigtails fastened high on her head.
Vivie hugs Niki tightly then blinks up at Sid and he swears the air just got much thinner because he can’t pull in a full breath, not when he feels like he’s looking in a god damn mirror. Vivie has the same big hazel eyes as him, the same jutting chin and furrowed brows. But her smile and those dimples… Those remind Sidney of someone else.
“Vivie! You left your lunchbox in the car,” the voice that haunts his dreams is suddenly right behind Sid and before he can think better of it he turns around.
Annie looks much the same as she did eight years ago, her heart shaped face and wide green eyes exactly how he remembered them. Her blonde hair is shorter, resting just above her shoulders now. There’s something else Sid can’t quite put his finger on but he thinks that Annie doesn’t hold that same infectious joy she used to.
“Oh my god,” Annie breathes the words out slowly as she makes eye contact with Sidney. “I- Oh my god…”
“Miss Annie, this is my Uncle Sid,” Nikita explains excitedly. “My mommy is having a baby so Uncle Sid got me McDonald’s and took me to school!”
Annie schools her features as she tears her gaze away from Sid and pastes on a smile for Nikita, “That’s so exciting! I’m sure you’re excited to be a big brother.”
The school bell rings then and Vivie and Nikita waste no time hastily saying goodbye before running off hand in hand. When they’re out of sight Sidney turns to Annie who’s white as a sheet as she stares at her shoes.
“Annie,” the word is low and laced with hurt as Sid focuses on the woman he used to love. “Annie please tell me you didn’t… That she’s not…”
Sidney can’t bring himself to say the words out loud, even though he’s almost positive they’re true. Vivie’s face is ingrained in his mind now, showing up every time he blinks. His eyes, Annie’s smile… He stares at Annie and begs her to tell him anything but what he knows is true.
Please don’t tell me you had our daughter and kept it from me. Please don’t tell me I’ve missed seven years of her life. Please don’t tell me that perfect little girl has been so close and so far. Please. Please. Please.
“Sidney, I am so sorry.”
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soothinglee · 9 months
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even if my heart stops beating⏤✰
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seungmin x reader | 1.6k✔︎
my notes⎯ hello everyone ! I know it's been a while since I've actually wrote something ! I actually got hit by a bus! yeah I had to sue this company called "writers block" and I finally got a settlement! (also happy new year!) I recently (like a week ago) got into Kpop, specifically Stray Kids ! I've read some fan fictions (shameless) about some of my favorites and got inspo to write one! thank you @soobnny . also I haven't wrote anything in a while so i'm a little rusty, i'll be as good as new soon!
warning⎯ mentions of vomit (used as word vomit) and crying.
genre⎯ angst to comfort.✔︎
songs⎯ six feet under; billie eilish | pretty boy; the neighborhood
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the old rusted clock that came with the condo you and seungmin bought sits perched on the top of the fridge. Its old, wooden frame slowly caves in on itself as time goes on.
not even an hour or two ago you had happily entered your home to start cooking dinner, not even worrying about showering first because you were so excited to have dinner with your boyfriend.
even going out of your way to spend a hundred dollars over the amount you usually spend to give seungmin the greatest 'welcome home' feast. he and the rest of stray kids had been on tour for the last couple months, traveling all over the world to perform at concerts and do collaborations with other idols to promote their new albums.
sure, it had been lonely, being by yourself all of the time, the only glimpse of your boyfriend you could get is when he could facetime you for 2 minutes or when he responded back to a text 4 hours later. but you understood, you knew what you were getting yourself into even when you started becoming friends with him.
if anything, you were strong, understanding, and flexible to when he couldn't make it to something like a movie night or date when his plane arrives later or practice runs over.
the only thing now, is that he had promised you that he could make it on time to dinner. sending countless 'I swear ill be there' texts and swift calls ensuring his presences at the dinner table during his dance rehearsals.
but now you were sitting at the table alone. a cold jajangmyeon sits in the platter in front of you, a similar on across the table from you. looking up at that old clock the hour turns to 10 and he's officially 2 hours late. it wasn't unknown for him to run a little over his time but this was unbelievable. you curse yourself for being naive and truly thinking he would keep to his word.
as you get up and clean the meal that you created you feel a little piece inside of you break, watching your hard work spill into the leftover containers like your tears. this was embarrassing, waiting around like a puppy in hopes your owner comes home. you were loyal and hopeful to a fault but wasting time and money like this was just unacceptable.
by the time seungmin walked through the front door it was half pass midnight and you had situated yourself infront of the t.v watching a new drama a colleague from work recommended.
"(name)." he calls out, you hear his shoes hit the wall as he takes them off, and then theres a shuffle as he organizes them on the shoe rack. you hear him leave his keys in the bowl on the desk that was by the front door, his footsteps growing louder as he nears the living room.
"(name)." he calls out again, seeing you lay in a cocoon of blankets in the dark, he think maybe you're sleeping so he quietly discards his winter coat on the back of the couch. he flicks on the lamp on the other side of the couch to bring in some light. though when he comes around to sit down he finds your eyes wide open, "why didn't you answer me when I called?"
"why didn't you come on time like you promised?" you quipped back quietly, suddenly too exhausted to have any conversation with him. you try and sink further into the thick blanket as you watch the Netflix symbol load and the next episodes intro plays.
you can't see his face but when he sighs and shifts in his spot you can hear the hesitance, "you already know why, practice ran late, like always."
"whatever."
"'whatever?' what's going on with you?"
"nothing." your tone is snipped but honestly you couldn't care less. somewhere in your soul you feel as though this might be a little extreme of an reaction but there is only so much patience you can give one person. you constantly make time for him and this relationship, so why couldn't he move things around and do the same for you? your eyes remain on the television.
seungmins eyes dart quickly to the t.v and then back to you, noticing that your full attention isn't on him, so he leans over you and goes to grab the remote from your hands. at the sudden loss of contact you make a move to try and get the remote back from him but he effectively powers down the t.v and discards in on the coffee table.
"I'll only repeat myself so many times, what's going on?"
it was like a newfound energy fizzled at your toes and pushed itself up and towards your head, your body springs up from its sideways position and you angle yourself to face seungmin.
though the light was somewhat dim due to only the lamp being on, he could see the red-rim of your eyes and the dried streaks of tears sticking to your cheeks. obviously, it had been evident that you had been crying.
seungmins eyes soften for a moment, he reaches out to try and smooth out the puffiness of your cheeks but as soon as you see his hand coming you push it away, "you were crying?" it comes out more of a statement than a concerned question, but the worry was still evident in his tone.
"duh," you start, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the tense space, you find comfort in the carpet on the ground. you were feeling...nervous. you didn't want to cause anymore problems but things won't get solved unless they are discussed, which in all honesty, the thought of confrontation in the first place is feared.
you need to get it out, you can't stop living like this. deep down you know he cares but you have to stop going off of assumptions. either he's going to show up or not, it was clear already that you showed up no matter how busy you were.
"do you even still love me?"
the question tumbles from your lips before you could even process what you were saying. maybe it wasn't what you wanted to convey exactly but it was definitely a start.
"what?" his airy voice sounds dumbfounded which makes sense. the intense look you're giving him plus the profound, out-of-the-blue question throws him off guard.
of course he loves you, why would you ever think anything different? "where is this coming from?"
"well it's just that every time we have something planned your work gets in the way. I spend hours and hours getting ready, trying to look my best, just to waste the day sitting on the couch waiting for you to come home. sometimes I'm waiting so long I fall asleep! I put so much effort into being a good girlfriend! hell, I even spent over 100 dollars on dinner tonight because I knew you had a hectic day, it took me two hours to make it just for it to go cold and put into a container,"
your voice chokes up, full of exhaustion and disappointment. you feel the tears pooling in your eyes but have no energy to stop them. you really want to quit the word vomit but there's no point, theres more to be said.
"I try so hard to not get disheartened but it gets so hard when you don't even try. sometimes I feel like you don't even care about this relationship anymore, like you don't care about m-"
just as you were about to finish your words were muffled by hands on your face, and lips on yours. seungmin had kissed you to stop your rambling. you couldn't help but to feel relieved and somewhat offended.
"stop." he whispers as he takes a breath, his hands still on your face, foreheads connecting, "please stop." his voice crack under pressure, its subtle but at the lack of distance between you two you can hear it so well. your eyes are closed, trying to get your own tears at bay but hearing how emotional he's becoming breaks you. a sob teeters at your bottom lip but you force it still.
"don't you ever think that I don't care. I always have." he pauses and wipes the stray tears on your face with his thumbs, "I'm so sorry I've made you feel like this. god I'm such a bad boyfriend, this is my fault."
you try to move away to comfort him but he holds you in place gently, you sniffle and reach up to brush the bangs from his face.
"I promise you I'll be more attentive, ill take you out everyday, spend as much time with you, cook for you, miss practices all the time just to make sure you know I care about you."
"you promised earlier but you didn't come!" you cry, recounting how long you waited.
"I know!" his voice quivers as his hands tremble, lightly shaking your head, "I know...and i'll never forgive myself. you don't know how much you've shaped me into the person I am now and I- I have no clue what I would do without you. I just have a poor way of showing it."
you grip on his wrists, mimicking him with your eyes squeezed shut, you stopped trying to keep the tears in awhile ago, letting them fall freely into your covered lap. "how do I know I can trust you? I'm so sick of feeling like this."
"I promise you I will prioritize you more than anything, Idol life, dancing, singing- whatever, does not come before you. I won't leave you hanging like this anymore, i'm sorry I didn't pay more close attention to your feelings," his bottom lips shakes as he takes another deep breath, he opens his eyes and you can see pass the tears and sorrow a new found determination.
"even if my heart stops beating, you're the only one I need."
past your wary judgement...you believe him...
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