#hes finally reached a point of happiness and then got shat on by the same ppl who claimed to be his fans

[blurryface-never-left]

Lane Boy has the lyrics "They say, Stay in your lane boy, lane boy, but we go where we want to". It can be interpreted as being forced to stick with one style or art form of their work, regardless if they want to mix it up and experiment with something else. A different medium, a different sound. Its a good message. Staying in your own lane, repeating something the same way until you lose your joy in it so you don't lose your success. Its a common occurrence with artists.

A controversial take:

A lot of the clique literally proved Tyler's fear of being stuck doing the same shit in order to keep their career and fame a valid fear by releasing SAI and it getting a lot of hate for not sounding like how TOP usually sounds like. They stepped outside the norm for their music, made a more upbeat, colorful album after having two smash hits that were dark and depressing, and even though SAI still continued the dark messages, they chose to add things that went against their own grain. They were immediately called sell outs, that they fell off, that they'll never top Trench, and even some fans straight up wished Tyler and Josh would go back to being miserable because they only made good music when they were depressed.

I don't think disliking SAI is wrong or bad. Everyone has their tastes and its okay to have work from an artist your a fan of not click with you. But some fans took it way to personally at the beginning of the era, bashing the band themselves, and personally attacking Ty n Josh like they committed a war crime.

Thankfully this hate has dissipated a bunch, either a lot of them either grew to love SAI or have since left the fandom, or just learned to stay quiet, but I thought this was an interesting observation.

Lane Boy tells us we need to stay to the path, to the lane. Stay with what you know, what people know you for, and don't you dare step off that path to something else. There will always be someone on the sidelines waiting to push you back in, threatening to take your success away if you so dare do something that doesn't appease them. But Tyler risked it, he learned a new instrument, he explored new sounds, and made something that he liked. And honestly, Id rather have work that my favorite artists enjoyed making than having work that was miserably made just so the artists fans can have what only they want. My happiness shouldn't come at the expense of someone elses.

[newkatzkafe2023]

Ok after reading that

Now I want a meet up with their team/friends XD

HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO SEEING BOTH QUEEN OF THE MONSTERS AND QUEEN OF THE APES ARE WUKONG'S WIVES??????

WHAT IS THE MONKEY KING DOING ON HIS FREE TIME?!?!?!??!🤣😧🤯

(Lmk Wukong) The panic the public feels is so bad it reached two other realms😥🫣. Everyone was either Filming or getting ready to evaluate Megaspolis as both Goddesszilla and Queen kong show up in the city today. Tang saw from outside pigsy's restaurant and his soul totally left his body at this and everyone ran outside to see the Chaos. Mk, Mei, and Redson were stuck between being Scared and being amazed upon seeing you and Queen Kong.

(Wukong) HEY GUYS I WANTED YOU TO MEET GODDESSZILLA AND QUEEN KONG MY 2 WIVES!!!!!🥰🥰

Mk and Mei were loosing it all over the place with stars in their eyes🤩

Redson was literally praying, I kid you, not he was praying as he hid in the men's bathroom. He called his parents, saying his potentially final good byes and that he always loved them😱

Sandy waved and welcomed you both, as he was very happy to meet you both.

Pigsy had to calm down a screaming Tang as the Scholar totally loses his mind😨

Elsewhere the Spider queen was discussing with her family/minions about moving out of the city Feeling like they were the ones in danger now😱

DBK and PIF share a look of shock as they listen Redson's semi-tearful rambling as the can see Goddesszilla and Queen kong from out their window

The Brotherhood absolutely moved out of the city as they don't want any of the ancient radiation heat from both of you😬

The Mayor's Whole body was so pale that People mistaken him as a ghost😱 and wants to join lady bone demon in her gravesite😨🥶

Jin and Yin were fanboying all over the place, throwing themselves as party as they asked you both for autographs🤩

A fearful Nezha spread the word to all of heaven, well it wasn't news, It was a clearly very much a warning, a warning that flipped the heavens on their heads for a good few centuries to come😬😬😬

And finally,Macaque😰 is really missing being dead right about now, as he feels you and your sisters glare on him😠

(MKR Wukong) The monk had a really bad stroke upon seeing you and your sister queen kong😂🤣. He and Pigsy noticed that he was in a better mood lately, and more Reasonable to deal with and immediately something was up. Sandy was just happy the death threats Wukong would give him occasionally stopped. Then one morning the pilgrims were asleep until the ground shook like their was an earthquake. This made pigsy Shat and piss his pants as he paled and scream like a girl upon what he saw, it was you and Queen kong, and Sandy straight up pale like seriously he was ash at that point. Then Finally the monk who had a heart attack and Stroke at the same time, as the saw you and Queen kong. Finally, Wukong showed up and excitedly introduced you both as his 2 beautiful wives. That's right. He absolutely got married behind the monk and heavens back, and if they know what's good for them, they better not do anything😈.

(NR Wukong) Li felt a serious mingrain form upon meeting Wukong's 2 wives, aka you and your sister Queen kong. Meanwhile, everybody was willing out and had so many questions for both of you, Li and Su's friend group. Welcome you both with open arms. Queen Kong was so happy to make new friends as she talked to everyone about practically everything, and shared stories about when you both were younger. You, of course didn't join the conversations, but that doesn't mean you weren't listening as you were just laying next to Wukong, but you were very happy that your sister had come out of her shell and made friends.

Meanwhile, the Ao Bing and his father went into hiding, because well.....between you and me, it turns the dragon king of the east actually owes you money And You're somehow scarier than a regular lone shark, and Queen kong has beef with Ao bing because the little Bastard set fire to part of her home and she's still mad about it this day. So they both better stay out of our line of sight😈👿

(HIB Wukong) He's kinda embarrassed, but not in a bad way. It's more like he's huffing while getting scolded by Queen Kong about not making you both aware that he was a single father. You both loved Silly Girl and Luier in an instant. Like Wukong, you would sometimes get annoyed with Luier's motor mouth and never ending questions, but your both saved by Queen king's godly Patience with him And answered every question to the best of her ability. Meanwhile, you took a liking to Silly Girl because she seems like a fighter to you, and with a bit of self defense Training She could be a force to be Reckon with, plus you always wanted a daughter🥰. Pigsy knew better to try both of you, as you could both totally Crush him under your thumb. But overall Luier and Silly girl love you both and already accepted you both as mother figures.

(Netflix Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh dear here we go. So you should know by now how annoying heaven found Wukong to be, but you should also know about how hard they shat and pissed themselves and went into a PTSD level state of panic when they found out about you both. Now they did hear the rumor that the monkey That was pestering them getting hitched, Which is probably why he wasn't bothering them for a while, but they had Absolutely no idea That he got married to not one but two wives, AND IT'S BOTH THE QUEEN OF THE MONSTERS AND THE QUEEN OF THE GORILLAS!!!!!!!! this has to be a dream. A incredibly traumatizing dream And if you think the heavens were suffering with this information you can imagine how the dragon king felt about this😬. HE messed with the husband of the Queens and lived to tell other people about it, He felt like this was the end he felt like this His final moments As he writes as will, Preparing To take his medicine and punishment.

Meanwhile You and Queen kong fawned over Lin like the daughter Neither view ever had. Spoiling her with food, treasures, and clothes as you both learned from Wukong that she was alone for most of her life. Well That's clearly about to change as you both welcome and adopted her as your daughter🥰🥰🥰

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[yourstarvic]

Atsumu didn’t let whoever was talking finish. He quickly rushed to where the two of you were, maneuvered around a few of the people who stood in his way. Reaching the two of you, Atsumu was quick to glare at Hana, “Hey! Whatcha talking about?”

Atsumu didn’t let whoever was talking finish. He quickly rushed to where the two of you were, maneuvered around a few of the people who stood in his way. Reaching the two of you, Atsumu was quick to glare at Hana, “Hey! Whatcha talking about?”

Atsumu didn’t let whoever was talking finish. He quickly rushed to where the two of you were, maneuvered around a few of the people who stood in his way. Reaching the two of you, Atsumu was quick to glare at Hana, “Hey! Whatcha talking about?”

Atsumu didn’t catch you and Hana giving each other a certain look before turning to look at him with a small smile, “Hello Atsumu, we weren’t talking about-Oh… I see what you mean Hana.”

“It’s very noticeable isn’t it?” Hana smirked at Atsumu, who was looking between the two of you rapidly in concern and panic.

“W-What's noticeable?” Atsumu let out nervous laughter before making a serious face, “Really what’s noticeable?”

“Hey, guys!” Bokuto chimed in the group behind Atsumu.

“Hi Bo,” Hana looked at him, giving him a smile, “where’s Omi and Hinata?”

“They’re already at the booth,” Bokuto smiled making his way to the semicircle booth.

Hana followed Bokuto while you and Atsumu followed behind her. Atsumu, whose face had a small pout, asked you seriously, “What’s noticeable?”

“We were joking,” You assured him, as you gave him a small smile.

“Thank goodness,” Atsumu signed out happily.

Reaching the booth, you got in first and then Atsumu was last to sit. You were squished between Atsumu and Bokuto, Hinata was on the other side of Bokuto, and then it was Hana then Sakusa.

“So what were you guys talking about?” Hinata asked you and Hana.

“We were just getting to know each other,” You said politely. “But I can’t wait to get to know each of you!”

“I’m surprised you accepted Atsumu’s proposal,” Sakusa looked out him with his voice muffled with his mask. “I didn’t think anyone can stand him for more than a day.”

“I mean,” You shrugged your shoulders, “you’re his teammate and hanging out with him now… So I guess there is someone who can stand him.”

Bokuto let out a scandalous gasp as Hinata and let out a small chuckle. Sakusa just looked at you with a blank stare, rethinking everything. Atsumu looked at him happily, placing his chin on his hands as he leans a bit forward, “Aw Omi!”

“Shut up,” Sakusa glared at Atsumu, to which Atsumu smiled at him innocently.

As Sakusa was mumbled something to himself, a waitress came up to the table. “Nice to see y’all again! I guess y’all want the usual drinks?” Everyone all nodded and hummed in agreement. “Anything to eat?”

“Yes!” Hinata, said quickly, “I’m starving!”

“Same here!”

“What should we get?”

“We just this new cook,” the waitress told them with a big smile and giving them thumbs up, “and the burgers are amazing!”

“Yes!” Bokuto said with stars in his eyes, “Six burgers please!”

The waitress was about to leave until they saw you sitting next to Atsumu. “You’re new… What can I get ya?”

“Oh um,” You blinked at her, “I’ll take a scotch on the rocks please.”

“I like her,” the waitress told everyone with a smirk, making you blush slightly in embarrassment.

When the waitress walked away, everyone looked at you with a confusing expression with the drink you order. Scratching the bad of your neck embarrassing with a small blush tinting your cheeks, you said softly, “It was the first drink I had with my father when I turn of age… I grew to like it.”

Everyone all muttered a small “oh” and nodded their head in understanding as to why you liked it. Moving the conversation forwards, Atsumu leaned back and put his arm behind you on the back of his chair, tilting his body a bit to look at you and everyone, “So did ya do it?”

“Do it?” You muttered to yourself confusing. You then perked up remember what he told you to do the other day. With a nod of your head, you told him, “I did… Last night and this morning…”

“You cried this morning?” Bokuto asked, making you turned your head at him with confusion.

“How do you know I was crying?” You asked, pursing your lips together.

“‘Tsumu told us what happened,” Bokuto pointed to the setter, ignore Atsumu's head shaking and mouthing to not say anything.

Looking at Atsumu, you scrunched your eyebrows together in disbelief, “You told them?”

“N-Not really!” Atsumu put his hand up in surrender.

“Yes, he did,” Hana said in a straight tone.

“He told us everything,” Sakusa nodded his head.

Hinata shrugged his shoulders as he hummed, “We already figure a few things out on our own… But ‘Tsumu did tell us.”

You let out a sigh as you leaned back against the booth. Atsumu put his arm back behind the back of the booth as you said, “I guess it okay… I mean you all would know…”

“But why did you cry this morning?” Hana asked her voice heavy with concern. Pulling out your phone, you showed her what Rieko posted that morning. Showing to everyone at the table, their eye grew wide as they saw what was on your screen.

“And that’s your…” Hinata started, looking at you with wide eyes filled with worry. You nodded your head slowly, your eyes looking at the back of your phone sadly. You felt Bokuto patted your back softly in a comforting manner, trying to help ease the pain. You gave everyone a small smile to show you were okay as you placed your phone back in your bag.

“I know that blonde is helping you with revenge and everything,” Hana started at you determinedly, “but I want to help!”

“Same here!”

“I want to help too! I can’t believe someone would do that!”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“R-Really?” You looked at them with wide eyes, shocked they were offering their help.

“Of course!” Hana smiled at you, “We can’t have that idiot help you! He’ll probably do something stupid.”

“No, I wouldn’t!” Atsumu glared at her, making Hana laugh at his outburst. Everyone all started to jab jokes at Atsumu as he gritted his teeth and glared at everyone with a pout. You sat there, enjoying their company and listen to them all talk together, at times when you had something to say you would chime in. You already felt like you belong with them, laughing at their jokes, antics and talking to them as if you knew them for years.

Moments later, the waitress arrived with your food, placing each plate in front of everyone. Everyone all eyed the food hungrily, happy to finally eat while you tilt your head in wonder, looking at it with pursing your lips together.

So that’s a burger…

“Alright!” The waitress beamed, “Anything I can get ya’ll?”

“Can I have some silverware?” You asked her with a polite smile.

“Um…” She hesitated, “Sure?”

“Don’t worry about it!” Atsumu told her before she could walk off, “She won’t need it.”

The waitress nodded her head and walked off as you looked at Atsumu confusingly. “But how are we going to eat this?” You blinked at him.

“With our hands,” Bokuto said, picking his cheeseburger and taking a bite.

“Oh…” You looked down, looking at the burger intensely. “I see…”

“You had have burger before? Right?” Hinata asked, seeing you studying the burger.

“She never had normal food before,” Atsumu told them, stuffing his mouth with a fry.

Everyone all quickly turned their eyes to you, seeing you staring at the burger on your plate. Biting your lip, you went to hold the burger with both hands and mimic how Bokuto hold it. Bringing it closer to your mouth, you swallowed the growing saliva in your mouth. Everyone all looked at you in anticipation, waiting for you to take your first bite. Slowly taking a bite, you place the burger down back on the plate as you chew.

“It’s greasy,” You noted when you swallowed, looking at them with innocent eyes.

Sakusa fully agreed with you, nodded his head as he eyed the burger, “And messy.”

You giggled at him as you nodded your head, picking up the burger once again and taking a bite at it. Everyone smiled at you, seeing how eager you bit on the burger and then eat their burger as well. Everyone asked you what you haven't eaten, wanting to know what foods you should try next. After finishing eating, you looked at Atsumu, “I’m going to the restroom to wash my hands.”

Nodding at you, Atsumu got up to allow you to get out of the booth. As you were heading to the restroom, Atsumu sat back down in the booth, taking your seat. Looking at everyone, he asked excitedly, “So? Shat do ya-”

“Listen here Miya,” Hana cut him off, pointing her finger at him threateningly. Everyone looked at Hana in amusement while Atsumu flinched back thinking he did something wrong. “I like her. I want her to be my best friend. Actually, she is my best friend. She is nice, sweet, funny and I just want to wrap her up in a blanket and protect her. This is my one and only chance of having a girlfriend that is part of this group and I want to keep it that way. So, you can’t make any moves on her. No flirting, no kissing, and especially no having sex with her. Unless you marry her. Got it?”

Atsumu rolled his eyes at her, waving her off as he grabbed his drink, “Yeah, yeah, I got it. I wasn’t even gonna do that. She wants marriage and kids and that whole white fence thing.”

“Perfect,” Hana nodded, with a happy smile.

“I’m back,” You smiled at them, now seating in Atsumu's seat. “What did I miss?”

“Nothin’ much,” Atsumu shooked his head, putting his elbow in the back of the booth.

Sakusa turned to you with a smirk, his eyes linger a bit on Atsumu with a certain glint in his eyes as he said, “Actually, we were talking about how Atsumu is a furry.”

“A furry?”

“Oh! Don’t forget to tell her about the incident!”

“OI! Don’t tell her that! ‘M not a furry!”

MASTERPOST-PREV-NEXT

Notes: idk why it repeated the first paragraph and it took off what the original first paragraph should be. Idk why it won’t let me fix it…

TAGLIST: @girlyluke​​​ @reina-de-tay​​​​ @bloody-bella​​​​ @gothkaoru​​​​ @freaksnque​​​​ @kayleighbeccaa​​​​ @itoshibaby​​​​ @missalienqueen​​​​ @90s-belladonna​​​​ @ntimacy​​​​ @persyhange​​​​ @loser-keiji​ ​​​ @lilith412426​​​​ @fandomatakeover18​​​​ @bbdaydreams​​​​ @sillyanimedream​​​​ @noya-kinnie​​​ @itzlally​​​ @fayeimara​​ ​@izmeaweeboo​​​ @zukoslosthishonor​​​ @camcam1617​ @karlitaburrito​​ ​@sakusaakiyoomii​​​ @strcwberrieswine​​​

[the-dc-killjoy]

4x12 - Old Souls

Wynonna Earp's over. I'll do pretty much anything to get another season, but shows (not that I think that this show could ever get to that point. id still love WE even if it turned into whatever Grey's Anatomy's doing rn) shouldn't overstay their welcome. If this is the end, than it was a damn fine ending!

-

The cute.

I've been watching Martina sing since I was 11 years old, and it still puts a smile on my face. Rachel was iconic as always, and I'm gonna miss the most recent addition to the Earp family. I can just imagine the chaos of her, her not really but kind of boyfriend, and Randy Nedley on a tiny boat in the middle of nowhere. Poor Nedley. Let's hope Chrissy remains the only one of his many daughter figures to catch mono.

Speaking of mononucleosis- that's such an awful transition that i'm keeping it, I believe that Wayhaught has officially christened the entire homestead. Bedroom, The Stairs, kitchen floor, barn- short of just going to pound town (i'm not getting any better with sex references tonight. am i) in a patch of grass outside, they've got everything covered. Or nothing covered if you know what i mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Am I getting better now?

-

The random.

Nedley walking Nicole down the isle, Wynonna walking Waverly down the isle, Doc being Waverly's best man, and Wynonna being Nicole's best friend (no she will not take a secondary title. best friend will go on her tombstone)- sigh, i'm so gay. i can't really explain what that has to do with these circumstances, but i am and this makes me happy. Rachel and Nedley (and Billy was there somewhere right?) being the only people in attendance made this the perfect pandemic wedding even though there wasn't actually a pandemic in Earp land. I was the living embodiment of the pleading face emoji when they panned over the chairs. Doll's chair hurt me. like deeply. like i'm still suffering. there aren't words. fuck, i miss him.

On a lighter note, Waverly said fuck (like eight times)!!! She technically said it already, but chainsmoking-angelic possession doesn't count, right?

I'm glad that Jeremy has this new thing with Damon, but I kinda wish things had worked out with him and Robin. He officiated a wedding, got promoted, and got a handsome date in one afternoon, so I can't be too sad about his adorable self.

Charlotte Sullivan, the jilted dress shop owner/witch, played one of the earliest (in my knowledge at least. this show was my brother's thing not mine) representation of a bi woman in Canadian media. I don't know too much about her Rookie Blue character, but if you can have tolerated the will-they-wont-they, end of the world romance of the main character's kinda mediocre relationships for a couple more seasons, I'm sure you'll find out! By the nature of Canada having 16.87 actors in total, I tend to see a lot of overlap, and I have to infodump about that somewhere. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Earping callbacks! Wynonna's truck, her motorcycle, the bullet proof vest, Nedley and Nicole's father-daughter thing, Waverly never saying the f-word (and subverting that), i'm all in, even Rachel always being stuck with juice while the adults are drinking- perfect! We had a little bit of the usual supernatural insanity, but this episode was wall to wall fanservice, and it was perfectly in-character fanservice. That's the way to go! It didn't feel forced or awkward and the edited mailbox will make me tear up on rewatch

-

The relationship. (aka i wanna talk about wyndoc and had no outline when i started this thing)

The Wyndoc goodbye was beautiful. I'm not into the whole you need one person to complete you kinda thing, but the implication that it didn't have to be romantic (implying that Wynonna's person was Waverly) was great. I felt that the scene worked perfectly, and might have been fine leaving it there if there was another season clearly on the horizon. With the fact that this was the series finale (i sighed so hard typing that. my poor lungs), I'm glad that they got their own happy ending.

-

The analysis.

Nicole's and Wynonna's as individual characters mirror each other in so many ways, but I'm just gonna wax poetic about one: their relationship with the GRT. Wynonna was hurt by the town, badly. She grew up with a steady stream of shitty adults and a few who told her to shake the demons out of her head and embraced the tough love mantra. It made a lot of sense that she left as an adult. Waverly was most likely the only reason she didn't skip town before that.

Nicole had a negative integer of adult role models in her life, with the murdered aunt and uncle and the whatever-the-fuck her parents were trying to be. Sure, a little trip to the Ghost River Triangle left her with trauma that she spent a lifetime repressing, but what's a little surviving a massacre under the six year old girl bridge. Am I right?

In their early lives, these characters had nothing but negative experiences in the aptly named town of Purgatory. Wynonna was drawn back into town by Curtis' letter just in time for her 27th birthday, and Nedley applied for Nicole to start working as a cop. Neither of them directly chose to come back to the Ghost River Triangle, but both of them did have the final say.

Wynonna decided pretty early on that she was going to stay no matter what. She already abandoned her sister once. How could she do it again with all of these monsters lurking in the shadows. As time went on, her circle of people expanded, but Waverly has always been the person that fight through hell and high water for. Even when fighting wasn't necessary, when it hurt her much more than it helped anything, she did it anyways because it was the only thing she could do to protect her sister. Wynonna thought it was the only thing she could do at all. This entire season, she's been fighting a war with herself, and her leaving, Waverly telling her that it was okay to leave, was the first time that took a break, took a breath since she arrived in Purgatory on her 27th birthday. Her child and the man she loves are out in the world, but she will be back with them at her side. Maybe after a quick road trip, maybe after a few years, but she will be back.

Nicole spent a majority of season 1 and 2 feeling like an outsider. Season 3 came with the realization that these people were her family and the Ghost River Triangle was her home. Early season 4 kinda shat all over that, oops. The rest of this season has been her finding her footing again. Nicole was a wandering soul, but she voluntarily staked herself to the land, vowing to protect it and the people within its borders for the rest of her life without the ability to leave, and she doesn't regret it. Her wife, her family, her people are all in this one not-so-sleepy Canadian town.

Nicole found her place, after a lifetime of searching, and Wynonna left, temporarily, after a lifetime of feeling trapped. They might seem like opposites, but both women call the same place home.

-

Originally, I watched this show was to cope with the ending of Agents of SHIELD (which I kind of used to cope with the ending of Killjoys, which featured Emily Andras as a writer in season 1 and has near identical humor, found family, and a healthy serving of gay and wow this is turning into a bit of advertisement isn't it), but it wormed its way into my heart. I've never quite seen a show like this. Never seemed interested in a western, even a sci-fi western. Never saw the gay couple reach OTP status both in fandom and canon. I've never seen so many fan conventions dedicated to just one show. I usually stay for just one character (and Wynonna has become one of my all time favorite characters), but I find myself connecting with so many of the beautiful people being brought to life on my screen. Wynonna, Waverly, Nicole, Rachel, Dolls, Jeremy, Doc, Nedley and so many other hilarious and heartbreaking characters make this show, and every single human who played a part in this self-proclaimed shitshow deserves a round of applause and a swig of whiskey.

The end.

[the-dead-skwad]

Secret X Damien Haas X Reader

Thank you for being so patient with me :) I know it takes me ages to post so I’m sorry. Another Damien fluff shit. The only warnings are swearing like always. I have mentioned names of family members, I know you won’t relate to that part but just like change it in your head. 

"Heeeyyyyy! What's up guys!" Your usual loud voice boomed across the set as you spoke to the camera. "Me and the beautiful Damien are here today playing an old spoopy classic in the spirit of halloweeeeeeeeeen!" You picked up the case for resident evil 2 and waved it around. It was the remastered version but still it was going to be as fun.

Damien took the case from your hand "ZOMBIES!" He yelled as loud as he could "Throw back!" and he literally threw the case behind him hitting the back of the set. "So glad you guys could join me and Y/N watching us kill some zombies and possibly poop our pants."

"I hope I don't, I really like these pants." You stuck your leg in the air .

Damien laughed "So if you were wearing pants you didn't like pooping your pants would be perfectly fine?" 

You looked around for a second "Ermmm yeah. Anyway don't forget to subscribe and punch that bell to get notifications! Punch it, slap it, hold its hand, do what you want to the bell. I'm such a hoe for zombies so I'm just superrr excited today!" 

Damien looked at you and laughed "You a hoe?" 

"Big hoe!" You both laughed together. 

As the game started one of the crew members switched the lights off "Oh!" Damien shouted "No one told me it would be in the dark." 

You turned slowly to look at him and spoke in a low whisper "How else do you do anything spoopy?" 

"You really freak me out when it comes to horrors, like you get so into it." "Hoe for horrors." You whispered really creepily. -- The shoot was going so well, your stomach actually hurt from laughing so much. "Quick!" You shouted again "There’s a zombie! There!" 

"I know Y/N I can see it." he turned to look at you for a split second "Ahhh!" A zombie shot out in front of the screen making you both scream.

"Oh you bitch!" you basically leapt out of your seat grabbing hold of Damien's arm and hiding behind him. "Nope!" 

He turned to look at you, "You okay back there?" He wrapped one arm around you. 

"Yeahhh" Your face popped back into shot from under his arm. Looking up at him you smiled, for just a minute your eyes lingered on his face, you noticed so much more than usual. His eyes, his smile, just everything about his was perfect. You soon snapped out of it when you realised you were both just staring at each other in front of all the crew. 

"I thinks that’s enough for now!" Ian's voice came across the set "We'll break for lunch and finish this later."

"So," You turned to look at him as you picked your bag up "What do you fancy for lunch?"

"Well I said to Shayne I'd meet him for lunch, go to the cafe down the road. Wonna come?" 

"As long as I'm not interrupting your man date." Walking towards the office to find Shayne. 

Just out of ear shot "You would never interrupt anything in my life." he answered you. 

--

Lunch was nice, the three of you sat outside in the sun with a coffee and a sandwich. 

"How was the shoot this morning?" Shayne looked at you both. 

Both of you looked at each other before you answered "Yeah it was good. Nearly shat myself at one point but all we have to do is shoot the wrap up." 

"Awesome. Bet its super funny." 

Taking a sip of your coffee you couldn't help but feel something happened between the two of you. Even after all this time of you working and being friends you hadn't really noticed anything. You knew you liked him but work and friendship was so important to you, you didn't want to ruin anything. 

You realised that while you were in your own thoughts Shayne and Damien were just talking so much shit. "Hey." Damien nudged you "You awake?" 

"Yeah." You smiled at him "I was just thinking..." He was looking at you in the same way again. 

Shayne hadn't noticed anything "I was thinking you guys could come on try not to laugh together or we could do who knows best, maybe Damien best friend" He pointed at himself "and on screen girlfriend" he pointed at you "Orrrrr I dunno.. hold on I have so many ideas." 

While Shayne was scrolling through his phone reeling off so many different things the tree of you could do together, you felt Damien's hand slowly touch your knee. He was wayy too much of a gentleman to touch you thigh. As he squeezed your knee you felt your heart jump into your throat. You reached down and placed your hand on his, you moved it up slightly so he wasn't reaching so far under the table. Squeezing his hand lightly so he knew that you were okay with all of this. 

"Damien, what do you think about this?" Shayne shoved his phone in his face snapping out of his daze. 

"Ahhh, erm shnizburtness."

You choked on your coffee "Whats up?" looking at him laughing so hard. "Are you okay man?" Shayne was laughing too "Did your brain break?" "Honestly I have no idea what just happened." His side-wards smile made you heart melt. 

Shayne go up to use the bathroom still laughing to himself. Damien turned to look at you taking both your hands in his. "So what are we doing?" 

"I'm not sure but what ever it is I'm absolutely loving it." 

Already sat pretty close you leaned in a little further. You could feel your heart beating through out your entire body as you pressed your lips against his. It was so perfect like nothing you had ever experienced in your life. It was like your brain turned into fireworks. 

He moved back and smiled at you, he stroked his thumb across your cheek "So perfect." 

"Oh my god! I've just had an idea.." Shayne was on his way back "Just pretend for now that nothing has happened." He sat back down "I think we should do Who knows best.. I question you two. You can fight it out for the spot of main man in my life."

"Awesome!" 

-- As soon as you got back to the office Shayne walked ahead to talk to Ian about the plan. Just before the set the was a door that lead to the costume room. You both knew that no one would be in there as you two were the only ones in this video. He looked at you and smiled. Checking around you to make sure no one could see you, you both went into the room. You only looked at each other for a second before you literally leapt on each other. Your lips smashed together, your entire body was filled with butterfly's. You jumped up and wrapped you legs around his waist. He took a few steps forward pushing you against the wall. Half a rail of costumes collapsed on the floor. His lips parted from yours and moved down to your neck. You threw your head back letting out a small moan.

"Hey!" A voice from behind the door made you panic. You jumped off him and straightened yourself out. The door swung open and Courtney stood there looking at you both. "What are you guys doing?" 

"Nothing," You said nervously "I just knocked this stand over." 

"Why do you look so flustered?" 

"I hurt my toe..." 

"Riiighhttt. They're waiting for you guys ." 

The rest of the shoot went perfect. Ian and Garett were happy to do a 'Who knows best' with the three of you as well. It was going to be hard but you only had to hide your relationship for 3 days. 

--

It as finally the day of the shoot, it had been very difficult keeping you both a secret. There was a couple of times you had snuck off and almost been caught. But from what you guys knew know had clocked on yet. Your plan would work perfectly as long as Shayne didn't know. 

As you stood at your kitchen counter making your coffee to take to work you felt an arm wrap around your waist. You squeezed his arm making him hold you tighter. He left gentle kissed on the exposed skin on your shoulder. "Hmmm. Why did we only just decide to do this?" 

"Well, you've asked this 20 times since we first kissed," You turned in his arms so you were face to face "and how was I supposed to know you liked me as much as I liked you." You gave him a meaningful kiss.

"I guess you could say zombies bought us together."

"What can I say.. I'm a hoe for horrors." 

He laughed at you hugging you tighter "Come on you we gotta get to work."

--

Pulling up in work parking lot Courtney pulled up right by you and Shayne was leaning against his car waiting for the lot of you. He looked at you both as you got out your car "Are you ready to be shameeeedddd as I prove that I am the ultimate best friend?" 

"Of course Shayne.. How ever will I beat you?" Damien shook his head, he watched you as you walked to the offices with Courtney.

As soon as the guys were out of earshot she looked at you "Soooo, how was last night? Did he stay over? Did anything happen? Do I need to  start looking for bridesmaid dresses?" 

"Jesus Court" You laughed at her "No, nothing happened. Me and Damien are just super good friends. All this chemistry is for the fans," As you lied through your teeth all you could see in your head were flashes of the night before. The touching, feeling, searching. My god you had never had sex like it. 

--

On set you were quite excited. It was set up so you sat opposite Damien and Shayne . As soon as you all sat down you could feel Damien’s foot stroking your leg. You raised your eyebrows at him and smiled. 

"Action!" Garett shouted.

"Hey guys!" You spoke to the camera "We're here today to see who knows me best! I've been friends with Damien and Shayne for a few years now and we all know tumblr has shipped me with both. So really I guess its a test for the ultimate ship. We also have the jury sat by our side." You pointed to Courtney, Noah and Kieth sat at the side "They can give a guess if both bots get it wrong."

"So!" Shayne spoke as loud as always "Last time Courtney beat Damien and won the spot of my best friend, I shall prove today that I am the best."

"In your dreams bitch!" Damien laughed at him "Before we start can we just ask you to subscribe and punch that notification bell so you know what we're doing." 

"First question!" You looked at the cards infront of you "How many siblings do I have? Extra points for gender and names."

"Oh fuck!" Shayne said loudly "You have a huge family!" 

Damien smiled at you and gave you a small wink, luckily no one saw him. The camera probably did though. You picked up the water gun off the table and started to pump it "I fully well know they won't get this right."

They both sighed as they finished writing. Shayne went first "I guessed 2 sisters, 3 brothers. Lydia, Kate, John, Johnathon and Johnny." 

Everyone laughed at him, "John, Johnathon and Johnny?" Courtney nearly screamed at him.

"I couldn't think of other male names!" 

"Shyane! There's literally multiple males in this room!" Noah couldn't believe him. 

Still laughing you smiled at Damien "Anddddd how wrong are you?" Even though you were together you would genuinely be impressed if he got it right.  

He spun the board around "You have 4 sisters, no brothers. Lydia, Mia, Ava and your step sister who you don't actually see Jess." 

You smiled and shook your head. You pumped the gun a little more ans shot Shayne directly in the chest making him scream. "Honestly I'm impressed Damien. How in the hell did you know that?" 

"Well you know" He just shurgged "I listen." 

Courtney squeaked "That is super cute." 

If only she knew you thought to yourself. You internally smiled "Anyway next question. This one is easier. What is my favourite thing to order for lunch? I know I pretty much eat two things but I deffo get one thing more." 

It literally took them two seconds to answer which really made you think you should change up your diet. "Damien you first."

"This is also very easy.." He spun his board around "So you either get pad thai, which is most of our favourite but more than usual you get subway chicken and bacon BBQ wrap."

Shayne made a very loud noise "I said chicken and bacon too!" 

"Yep, you're both right.. I seriously need to try more food apparently."

After a list of questions you pulled out the last one smiling to yourself. You looked up at Shayne and laughed to yourself, he was literally dripping wet and Damien had got one wrong. You turned to look at the camera. "If this question wasn't so good I'd just end it here. I mean jesus Shayne! You call yourself my friend."

Damien also laughed "Honestly from this it looks like you guys have never actually met." 

"Okay!" Shayne shouted. "I clearly do not listen to you guys enough. I promise from this day forward I will be a better friend." 

You rolled your eyes at him "Anyway, final question." They started a drum roll on the table "True or false I have a secret boyfriend." 

"What!" Courtney shouted "I mean there’s no way! We would know that." You smiled at everyone "Shayne you first."

He looked around doing that fmaous confused face "I put false... because there’s no way you wouldn't tell us." 

You smiled at Damien as he spoke "So I said true..." He spun his board around "Because Its me." 

The room was silent for a second. Shayne turned slowly looking at both of you "WHAT!" He shputed the loudest you had ever heard him. 

"Wait." Kieth stood up "You two are together... like actually together." 

You smiled at him for the millionth time "Yeah we are." 

"OOOOHHHH MY GOD!" Courtney had now joined in on the screaming.  

You stood up and walked up to him to give him a hug. He also stood up and wrapped his arms around you "Sorry dude, I wanted to tell you but we thought this way would be so much funnier." 

Shayne joined in on the hug "I mean finally!" Then they all joined in for a big group hug. 

You pulled away and winked at the camera. "I just have one last thing I need to do though." You walked back round to your side of the table and pulled out the biggest water gun "I'm sorry dude." You pointed it straight at Shayne "But you did get the last one wrong!"

[avengerscompound]

Legacy - Chapter 8

Legacy: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  1886

Rating:  E

Square filled:   @clintbartonbingo - Time Travel

Warnings:  Pregnancy, domestic abuse, post-endgame, angst, developing-relationship, hurt/comfort, smut, Laura and Clint have broken up.  Comic Clint/MCU Clint mix.

Synopsis: Nothing is the same after the events of Endgame.  When Clint has trouble returning to a life where his family hasn’t changed but he has lost everything, he moves back to the city and tries to move on as a single parent. When Nate finds you bruised and pregnant in the stairwell of his building, he decides that there might be another way that he can make Nat’s sacrifice worth something.

Chapter 8

The apartment was loud and Clint was feeling pretty good.  He’d taken down the wall in the kitchen and was in the process of sanding down the new drywall that connected the old apartment with the new one.  There was still a lot of work to do.  The floors didn’t match.  There were now two ovens and two dishwashers and two fridges and neither were connected.  The cupboards didn’t match or even connect together.  Plus he wanted to put in a floating island.

He had lots of plans really.  Taking out one of the staircases and replacing the remaining one with something in a polished hardwood.  Connecting the two upstairs bedrooms with a hall.  Making the two half bathrooms up there a full.  Painting the walls.  He had big plans to make this his new family home the way he had made the farmhouse his home when he’d bought it with Laura.

Right now, he was most worried about patching up the wall before the baby got here.  He still had four weeks, so he wasn’t worried.  He just relaxed and did the job while his music played and the kids tore around the room with Lucky.  It sounded and felt like he was finally home.

“You know what?  I might take these guys to the park.  They’re bouncing off the walls.”

Your voice snapped him out of his reverie.  He looked up to see you heaving yourself out of the couch.  “You sure?”

“Yeah, yeah.”  You said.  “We can get some ice cream or a pretzel or something.”

“Alright.  But bring me back something.”  He said.

“Come on kids.  We’re going out.”  You called as you went to grab the leash for Lucky.

Clint went back to focusing on what he was doing and singing along with the music.  He was vaguely aware of the commotion going on around him.  Lila chasing Nate to try and get his shoes on.  Lucky bouncing and barking as he waited for the kids to get ready.  It was all background noise though.  The happy chaos of his family.

“Dad… Dad!”

It took him a moment to realize that Lila was calling him.  It wasn’t until she came over and hit him in the arm that it sunk in that she’d just said dad at least 5 times in a row.  He looked up started.  “What is is, Lie?”

She pointed at you and he looked over.  There was a large wet patch on your pants and a pool of liquid around your feet.

“Oh shit!  Shit!”  He said putting his tools down.  “But it’s too early!  We’re not ready!  You’re supposed to be at your mom's when this happened.”

“Well, we’re not, dad.”  Lila snarked.

“Shit.”  He repeated and ran his hands down his face.  “Coop!  Call your mom!  Tell her the baby is coming.  Lila can you run down to Mrs. White in 3B and ask if she can watch you guys until your mom gets here.”

“Dad!  I’m not a little kid.  I can take care of Nate.”  Lila argued.

He shook his head like he was trying to clear it.  “I know, honey.  But we don’t have time to clean up the tools.”

“I’ll pack them up now.”  She said.

He went over to her and pulled her into a hug kissing the top of her head.  “What would I do without you?”   He asked.

“Completely fall apart apparently.”  She teased.

He chuckled.  “Well, you aren’t wrong.  Thank you, sweetheart.”

Lila went and started packing up the tools and pain and putting them up out of Nate’s reach while Clint approached you.  “Alright.  Let’s get you into fresh pants and pack a bag.  I guess you need to call the hospital?”

You nodded, still seemingly frozen in confusion, looking down at yourself and Lucky who was bouncing around on his lead.  Clint leaned down and unhooked him, making the dog give him the purest look of betrayal he’d ever seen.

“Sorry, buddy.”  He said, patting his head.  “The baby’s coming.”

“Clint?”  You said.  “It’s too early.”

“I know, honey.  But your water just broke. I think she’s coming.”  He said rubbing your back.

“But… there’s still four weeks.  We aren’t ready.”  You said.

“You’re telling me!”  He said.  “Come on.  You’re standing in amniotic fluid.   It’s gross.  Let’s go.”

He led you upstairs and while you changed and made a phone call to the hospital, he hurriedly threw things into an overnight bag.  He tried to remember what it was they had told them you’d needed in birthing classes and what was in the bag when Laura had Nate.  Changes of clothes.  Comfortable pajamas with button-up tops.  Maternity bra.  Diapers.  Nursing pads.  Maternity Pads.  They’d said things like candles too but he wasn’t sure if you even wanted that kind of thing.

You hung up the phone and looked up at him.  “They said to just come in but don’t stress.  I haven’t had any contractions so there’s no rush.”

Clint let out a breath.  “Okay good.  ‘Cause I have no idea what I’m doing.”

You laughed and got up, going to look through the bag at what he’d packed.  “She’ll be okay won’t she?”  You asked.

“Yeah, of course.  It’s all going to be good.”  He assured you, though he really had no idea.  It was still in the scary early point of your pregnancy and he wasn’t sure what that would mean.

You finished packing the bag and went downstairs together.  Lila had finished packing up the tools and even put the playpen you’d brought for the baby around the construction to stop Lucky and Nate from getting in there.

“Lila, you are a champion.”  He said.

“Mom’s on her way but it’s gonna take a couple of hours before she gets here,”  Cooper said.

“You guys sure you’ll be okay that long?”  Clint said.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine,”  Lila assured him.

“Well, if you need anything go ask Mrs. White or call Katie.  Okay?”

“Go, dad.  We’ll be fine.”  Lila said.

He kissed the kids goodbye and headed down the street and hailed a cab.  Your contractions started on the way to the hospital but only mild and minor.

When you got to the hospital they checked you over and put a fetal heart rate monitor on you and then you just had to wait.  The labor proceeded slowly and due to wanting to monitor the baby you weren’t allowed to move around a lot.  By midnight you were well into the painful part of the labor and exhausted.

“I can’t do this.”  You cried as Clint held you.

“You can take the drugs you know?  They might help you sleep.”  Clint soothed.

“I should be able to have a baby,”  You complained.  “People do it every day.”

“People have car accidents every day too.  They still take painkillers for their whiplash.”

You chuckled and another contraction hit.  You groaned and gritted your teeth as Clint massaged your back.

“You’re doing great, babe.  You don’t need to prove anything to me.”  He said gently.

After that, you got an epidural which actually let you sleep for a little while.  Clint couldn’t pretend he wasn’t thankful for that when your active labor started 12 hours later.

They backed off the drugs so you could push and you went from calm and pretty relaxed to breaking his left hand and crying in less than half an hour.

“I can’t.  I can’t.  I can’t do it.”  You cried as you pushed.

“You’ve reached the too late point, dear.”  One of the nurses said.

“Come on, babe.  It’s gotten to the really gross bit.  Her hair is showing and you’ve shat yourself a few times.”  Clint said soothingly.

“I’ve done what?”  You cried.

“Yeah, it’s a horror show down there.  So let’s get to the good part with the baby.  Okay?”  Clint said.

You scowled at him and he leaned over and kissed the top of your head.

“Alright.  Push.”  The ObGyn said.

You bore down, squeezing Clint’s hand and your daughters head emerged.  “So close, honey,”  Clint said.

“You can see her?”

“Yeah, it’s super weird!”  He said.

“Clint.”  You whined.  “You’re not helping.”

“Alright.  One more big push okay, mommy.”  The ObGyn said.

You squeezed his hand again and with a large push, your baby girl slid into the world.  Squalling as she took her first breaths.  The medical staff moved in around her, checking her vitals and Apgar, giving her her first shots.  Making sure she was breathing.  You watched them with a fearful expression on your face, and when you passed the placenta they moved her right away from you.

“What’s going on?  Is she okay?”  You asked. 

“She’s just early, they just need to make sure she’s breathing on her own and her heart is beating fast enough.”  One of the nurses said.  “Can I get you some toast?  You have been through quite an ordeal.”

You nodded and she disappeared leaving you and Clint alone to watch the medical staff fuss over you and the baby.

“She’ll be fine,”  Clint said.  “Listen to her cry.  She’s got good lungs.”

You nodded, but you didn’t look very convinced.  He rubbed you back.  “She will.”

It was another fifteen minutes before she was brought to you.  “Here you go.  Just a brief cuddle, okay?  She’s going to need to go into the NICU.”  The doctor said.

They put her on your bare chest and you held her.  “She’s sick?”  You asked.

“Just needs a little help keeping warm.  She’s doing pretty good really.  Her APGAR is 6 which is low but not unexpected.  She’s going to be fine.”  The doctor reassured you.  “Do you have a name yet?”

You shook your head.  “No.  Not yet.”

She wrote on a card and little pink bands that she attached to the baby’s ankles.

“You really don’t have a name?”  Clint asked.

“I keep thinking I want to name her after Natasha.  But Nate is named after her.  It would be strange having a Nate and a Nat wouldn’t it?”  You said.  “Besides, I wanted you to have a chance to change your mind about all this.”

“All what?”  He asked.

“You know.  Being her dad.  The birth certificate thing.”  You said kissing her head.

Clint ran his palm down his new daughter’s back and kissed the crown of your head.  It still broke his heart a little that you thought like that.  Back when everyone had been returned from the dusting he had kept thinking about he would use Bruce’s time travel machine and go back, switch places with Nat so that she would be one that came home and got to live her life.  That she wouldn’t have to be as ashamed as he had felt not being able to hold his family together after she’d given her life to make sure he got to be there for them.  He hadn’t thought those things for a long time.  He hoped that she would be proud of what he had done.  What he was doing.  But in a way, it didn’t matter. He was in this.  You were his family too now.  She was his daughter.  He took a deep breath, inhaling you both.  “Don’t worry,”  He said.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

// NEXT

[firesign23]

Trivia Tuesday

So, I’ve been talking to people about outlines the last couple of days, mostly because the one I wrote for the next chapter of yonder has been cracking me up. (That whole fic’s outline system is a mess that can’t be called a system, but that’s neither here nor there right now). I was contemplating posting a scene outline vs. the finished scene for Trivia Tuesday, because I personally find these things fascinating, and I still might if people are interested. For now though, I actually found the initial “outline” for yonder in my notes, back when I thought it was a one-shot slow-burn-at-high-speed fic of maybe 3-5K words and also thought I’d never write it. I’m going to put it under a cut for “spoilers”, cleaned up slightly for clarity (because a bit of the outline is literally just a copy and pasted conversation with @heavyheadedgal​) but I’m shocked by how much has stayed the same. And even more shocked that I legitimately still think it could have been a one-shot of 3-5K. Just apparently not in my hands. 😂 😂 😂

Guys, please never, ever take outlining advice from me. You’ll see why soon enough. 😂

My fic is RIDICULOUS. I decided to go full batshit and have a "I handwave 98% of what happens post-war in order to make make a political marriage between Jaime and Brienne happen, and she does it because Self Oath and also care, but is taking a 'I know what you did, why you did it, but let's not pretend our fucking was anything but post-battle trauma fucking its way out;" stance. Which, obviously, changes after much mutual pining and lingering touches. So far it's mostly about Sansa and Brienne's friendship.  😂There's also an element here of "I'm not a fucking moron, I know why you went, what the FUCK did you think I was talking about. The issue is that if you're so bullshit noble and I'm so genuinely noble, what happens the next time our oaths don't align?" I'm hoping he's all "I'll make vows to you and only you, blahblah" and she hits him

Sansa and Tyrion are the closest to competent leaders the show has left, at least for another week, so they can deal with that. Jaime killed his sister. Brienne's like "Cool motive, still levels of dumbassery I don't have to deal with. Bye fuckboi" 😂😂 Which goes really well until Tyrion and Sansa are like "So, you two are getting married. It's Politics (and also get your dumb heads out of your dumb asses)" and they have to be all "I trust your nobility, blahblah, let's be honest about our time together being post-battle trauma fucking and make the best of it". There is pining, and Brienne being the centre of the story, and no incest 😂 It's so much fucking fun—it's like fake dating only BETTER, and they are all "Must keep our oaths, blahblah, seriously we were both SHAT on by the showrunners"

Fucking GOLD

There needs to be a bruised ribs scene from an overzealous recruit, complete with touching-not-touching. “It is a month after they are wed that Brienne comes back to their rooms one afternoon, disappearing into her inner sanctum. A maester arrives a few minutes later, and Jaime hovers in the outer sitting room, certain he was unwelcome but less certain where to go.” / “A green recruit with rather more enthusiasm than natural talent,” she says. “I misjudged the length of his reach, nothing more.” and not touching. The next day, he goes to the courtyards to watch her training—she is still heads above even the most experienced soldiers, but he can tell the ribs are paining her. So he does what any good Jaime would do, and goads her into letting him have a turn. “Well, perhaps it would do them good to have an opponent they might beat.” But as she passes him the training sword, she mouths a “thank you” and then proceeds to coach the recruit into getting at least a few hits in on Jaime. She laughs as she watches them, and he thinks that if he can live in this moment of happiness, it’s more than he ever deserved

When Brienne calls him out on the “I knew what you’d do”, he has to think how he wasn’t entirely certain himself until he was there. He knew what he had to do, and why, but he wasn’t certain he was strong enough, good enough. The push to get there has to be his own morals, NOT WWBoTD? "even now she has more faith in him than he does in himself, a pillar of righteous certainty he does not deserve. 

“Ser wife”/”I’d rather be called wench”

Fight that ends dirty—she kicks his ass and he gets a boner and everyone is happy

At one point Brienne dreams of the first night—Oral and not coming and this growled “Must you fight everything, woman” and this deeply intimate and trusting “I’ve got you” and BOOOOM

My babies have to defend themselves, back to back, and it is goooood

There’s a meeting of stewards in, say, one year’s time. 

They have to address Cersei directly, including what it means to love. Reach the emotional catharsis of love as a strength.

I’m just gonna Pratchett this one. The final scene is gonna be Braime in a meadow on Tarth discussing the options before them and leaving the answer open. (Please note, this was well before Nikolaj’s comments about the meadows of Tarth, and I know everyone is doing it now, but fuck it I will get this pretty picture that’s been in my head for six months)

Daaaaance—early on it gets brought up and Jaime presumes she won’t then she does

Final chapter (this was a slightly later addition to the final chapter after a plot started emerging)—not only Tarth, but go to KL first. See Adalys again. Meet Addam, some banter about who is better in a fight, Brienne wins, “Congratulations, Ser Addam. I would not leave my lady under the care of anyone less than yourself”, there’s just WARMTH and HAPPINESS and Jaime having such a major boner for his wiiiiiiiiiiiife. Braime DANCE because now Jaime’s living toooooooooo #itssymbolismyo. Then Tarth

[jenosweave]

going to hogwarts w/ jaemin !

requested by anon!

talented. brilliant. incredible. amazing. show stopping. spectacular. never the same. totally unique.

basics

house: gryffindor

year: 3

patronus: dolphin

favorite class: defense against the dark arts

extra info: promotes the welfare of muggle-borns and half bloods by writing speeches and speaking before different executives among the department of magic. is also in knitting club so he can make his friends cute matching sweaters

personality

the nicest boy you could ever meet

is really just so caring

never lets anyone sit alone during lunch and always invites over kids to sit with him and his friends

stands up against discrimination

a bi icon but you didn’t hear that from me

countless rumors of him dating jeno that he “can neither confirm nor deny”

jeno denies it

has friends in every house

everyone likes him, it’s hard not to there is one exception but we’ll get to that

writes really sweet encouraging notes for his friends to find when they’re stressed over a test

everyone wonders why he’s not a huff bc he’s so sweet and cares so much

but then he threatens to beat someones ass after insulting a muggle born and everyone’s reminded he’s super bold and brave

has challenged some dumbass bitches to a couple duels

is undefeated

the dueling club leader BEGS him to join but with knitting club and all his studies? i think the fuck not!

kinda clingy with his friends

has cuddled with all his roommates before

soft baby

warms the hearts of all his teachers

a really good student tbh

relationship

les get it

basically, one day

jaemin really wasn’t feeling all too confident on a test everyone was gonna have in defense against the dark arts the following week

so he went to the class to beg his teacher to re-explain a concept to him that he couldn’t understand even after a fucking 20 min discussion abt it

his plan was to go during lunch and harass his teacher then

so, he set off during lunch and surprisingly found the door to be unlocked as normally he has to BEAT on the door to get his teacher to open it

and that’s where he found YOU

wand in hand

shaking wildly

with a fucking butterfly in front of you

and you struggling to cast the spell riddikulus

he BURST out laughing and caused his presence to be known

the teacher noticed him and placed the boggart back in the wardrobe and you were BRIGHT ASS RED

this super cute gryffindor just saw that you’re scared of BUTTERFLIES it was so embarrassing

and from that point on jaemin basically harassed you everytime he saw you

he called you “butterfly” and deadass won’t leave you alone and his friends and your friends always question you two about it and you choose NOT to say what happened

“y/n omg when did you meet that cute gryffindor? whats his name?”

“jaemin??? butterfly???? wtf?????”

and eventually it kinda dies down but he still makes little faces at you when yall see each other in the hallways or in between classes

you kinda wanna like talk to him... but he just really intimidates you.... like hes so pretty and funny and sweet and that just scares the shit out of you

so... you decide to take a different route and kinda... ask the defense against the dark arts teacher for a tutor bc you’re f*iling and need a pick me up

maybe you request jaemin omo but you BEG him not to tell jaemin that bc you’re like INTO him into him and you don’t wanna be weird or seem weird lol hahah

so the professor called yall into his office to discus it w/ yall (jaemin got fucking SCARED bc he thought yall were abt to get expelled for the teasing and almost shat himself 👇🤪👇)

and when he explained the situation jaemin was secretly like really happy

and you knew the teasing would worsen but you didnt really regret your request bc jaemins cute and funny!!!1!

the next day yall met in the library and it was highkey awkward

like yall just avoided eye contact and kinda sat there but you decided to break the silence

“um,,,,” your sudden words made him shoot up to look at you “how are you uh,,,.. liking dada so far?”

and unbeknownst to you... a beast was unleashed

but you found it oddly endearing how his eyes frantically searched the room as to figure out how to make his thought coherent and how his smile shown through his words and ESPECIALLY how his hands flailed around as he spoke

it made you deadass uwu and giggle and you guys just talked for hours and hours

like yall didnt get shit done mood

and like jaemin was like HIGHKEY so cute and it made your heart beat at a million beats and it didnt help that yall kinda became inseparable after that took place

like you two were so compatible and alike that like being with other people was so..... weird

not to mention that all the time you spent with the boy helped you catch feelings like drake omo XD

he made your heart race and you couldnt just like all of sudden tell him so you push it to the back of your mind for now

until his friends lowkey start hinting that he likes you like at least jeno tries to be subtle... hyuck just blurts it out

“hey y/n! lovely morning we’re having! oh and btw, jaemin likes u! see you in potions!”

so now that his friends have been hinting at it, you start getting like..,,,, really flustered around him

like you constantly blush and are at a loss for words when he hugs you now

like UGH feelings suck

soon, christmas rolls around and you weren’t able to spend it with your relatives :( so you had to stay at hogwarts and kinda just hang around

but then!!! before all your friends left (a lot of jaemins friends were now your friends too lmao) hyuck deadass whispered in your ear

“jaemin is staying here during christmas too for certain reasons uwu have fun!!”

and then he ran away skxjsjc

the days leading up until christmas,

you spent a lot of your time studying but rarely any of it with jaemin :(

it kinda sucked bc you were having withdrawals from not seeing your bestest friend

however! you finally ran into him where he was for the past couple days you had no clue and he asked if you two could spend christmas together :(

obviously you agreed and thus you counted down the next couple days until christmas finally arrived

you two planned on eating breakfast together and then was when you would exchange gifts !!!!

nervous doesnt even begin to describe how you were feeling bitch ooOjdjd

you saw him already sitting at the gryffindor table with a big ass bag and when he waved at you??? with that big ass smile on his face????? oh my GOD!!!!!!!! butterflies!!!!!!!!!!!

you felt kinda self conscious since your gift bag was literally a fifth the size of his, but you carried on and sat at the empty space across from him

you guys ate and caught up on what had been going on (why he had been afk for fucking days)

and when that topic was finally brought up he let out a sigh and reached for the gift bag and took a woolly sweater out and handed you what remained

“now! open it!!”

and in there was a pastel yellow sweater with the word ‘yes’ knitted in black

uhhhh???? you were so confused???? what does yes mean????? and right when you looked up to ask, jaemin pulled on the other sweater he took out of the bad and put it on himself

it was the same overall pastel yellow with black text... but the words were different and your jaw DROPPED

‘will you go out with me?’

BITCH YOU WERE SO SHOOK YOU ALMOST STARTED CRYING LIKE OH MY GOOOOOOOD

and that was when the power couple of hogwarts started

everyones been knew you two liked eat other hyuck said “its abt damn time”

anyway!!!!! yall are so cute like he walks you to class and even the teachers think you guys are just the cutest thing ever and when you told your friends???? they were SCREAMING like you got such an amazing guy UGH your mind

all i’m saying is... dating jaemin is like dating your really clingy and attractive best friend and you aint mad abt it

uwu that’s all for now!!! if you’d like to request another member.. our ask box is open!

[stylessemantics]

X. Something About Sharing

Also called: Sharing is Caring Prompt: All Harry has ever known is to share with y/n. and vice versa. So when she’s knocking on his door, betrayed by a business/job opportunity and now needing a place to stay, he’s glad he’s chosen a one bedroom flat because all he knows is to share with her, to the point where they are both sure they are currently sharing her pain and his happiness to help her get to a happy middle and feel better, but Harry doesn’t know if she’s also sharing that heavy thudding of his heart that is suddenly very loud.

Notes: May have a part two. 

In which Harry and Y/N share pretty much everything.

All Harry and y/n have ever known is to share with each other. When he was younger Anne worried that Harry, even though sweet and caring, was never into sharing much with other kids in his class or even with his sister Gemma, but that had seemed to flip 180 when y/n’s family moved right in front and something in little Harry’s mind sort of triggered. He would claim that it was unfair he had a sister and y/n had no one, so he took it as his job to make sure she felt that. Whatever it was, Anne was grateful Harry was learning the valuable “sharing is caring” lesson after all.

No one expected the duo to be so tight, but Harry and y/n kept surprising people through the years as they stumbled through every single stage with the other close behind, holding their hand, to the point where Gemma thought maybe her mom had given birth to twins that were now reuniting. The bond only grew stronger, along with them, making it seem like Y/N and Harry sort of shared everything, from material things, like toys and clothes and even food – half of their closets at each others’ place, and no smoothie gone without two straws – to not so material things, like their actual feelings. To them, there was no point in being afraid, there was always someone there to go through it all with. Everything good was enhanced, everything bad was split into survivable doses.

It was freaky that y/n knew when Harry was feeling down before even seeing him – well, it was already freaky to see one without the other close by to begin with, but nevertheless, the bond was sort of telepathic – and how Harry knew exactly what y/n was craving while on her period and he stopped on his way home from soccer practice to buy it for her. How they managed to not get sick at the same time was beyond people’s minds – except there was that one time when they both caught the chicken pox and were quarantined together in y/n’s room for a week, not that anyone could complain –

Sharing with each other was all they knew, all through grade school and high school, to picking the same colleges – shocking everyone by choosing different majors, but they are, after all, two separate individuals no matter how little it seemed like it – and working together at the bakery down the block and saving up to share a flat through uni years. 

Sharing with each other was the closest thing to home they had, no matter where they were.

Living with Harry was easy for y/n. And vice-versa, especially after having had a taste of it with the whole chicken pox thing. What wasn’t easy was knowing in the back of their heads that when uni ended, at some point, they would eventually have to split. Harry knew keeping in touch with y/n would always be easy, but he wondered if it would be the same after having so much of her, for so long. And just like they thought, eventually they moved out to one bedroom flats, a few towns and 5 hour car ride away from each other, in order to grow as functioning members of society and keep a job. None of their friends understood why they picked one bedroom flats – and frankly, when asked, neither did them – even though unconsciously, they both felt like having more bedrooms would make the place too big, and hoped that whenever the other visited they could just slot together into one bedroom and share everything like they had always known to.

And then, the time to share an incredibly small, but somehow comfortable space – in Harry and y/n’s terms – came around 

Y/N had jumped at the chance of a new job. While she was ok at her old one, she wasn’t fully happy or pushing her full potential, it was time for a change, time to move up the chain and do better things. And the best part was that it meant some great news for her and Harry. She had packed all her bags and wanted to keep the surprise until last minute, but she couldn’t contain herself the moment Harry facetimed her like he did every other day.

“I’ve been shat on by a bird fo’ the second time this month, y/n” was the first thing he said when she answered, and she rolled her eyes at the statement. “Classy, Harold. Real nice” “Tell tha’ t’the bird! Going ‘round like tha’” “I’ll hand-wash it if you need me to, stop whining” “Yeah, I’ll send you a shit-stained shirt by post, return it nice and clean, please” Harry mocked and dismissed her comment as he settled himself on his desk at work. She could tell he was at his office by the decor on the walls behind him. He worked at a creative boutique, designing for magazines and blogs of different brands and he claimed it was a very creative and relaxed place to work at. Normally during lunch time he was alone and used the time to call y/n. “There might be no need for that” she double tapped her phone to switch to the other camera, showing Harry all her belongings in boxes and bags, bare walls and closed curtains. “Where’re yeh going?” “I might have been offered that job I mentioned last month” she tapped back to the front camera so she could catch Harry’s face as he pieced together the information. Last month, she had briefly spoken about a job opportunity, one so incredibly good, Harry joked it couldn’t be legit, but quickly got on board with when she told him it meant it could also move her to his same town and put them at a tolerable 20 minute distance – which compared to how they grew up as neighbours and lived together through uni, was still very much, but not as much as being 5 hours away – and giving them the chance to do what they knew best, be close to each other. 

“No fucking way!” He exclaimed, jolting up from his seat and adjusting his headphones, making sure he heard her correctly. “Surprise!” Harry’s hand was covering his jaw dropped mouth. Y/n would be so much closer. Something felt so right about that, despite whatever doubt any of them had about the new job. He was trying to hold back tears, too emotional to deal with the information he was being handed. “When do yeh get here?” “Tomorrow!” and they continued chatting giddily until Harry was called back to work by his boss, hanging up under the promise that y/n would go directly to his place upon setting foot in his town. She had a copy of his keys anyways, and was welcomed to invite herself in and make herself comfortable after her meeting with her new boss.

But that didn’t happen. 

The following day, Harry took off early from his work to try and be home to receive y/n, after she’d sent him a text that the meeting seemed like it would take longer. And a bit longer turned into a lot longer and a lot longer and a lot longer, for it was starting to get dark outside and Harry’s anxiety was about to bubble over before there was a knock on his door. He immediately expected the worst. Y/N had keys to his place for god’s sake, there was no need to knock, ever. But he put on a smile, because the most important part was that she was finally there, and he opened his door ready to engulf her in his arms, something he realised she needed the moment her angry face and glistening cheeks caught his eye. She didn’t get to spit a full word out when Harry had wrapped himself around her and rubbed calming circles on her back. She didn’t need to say a word. Harry just got it.

He pushed and pulled her bags inside his warm flat, as best he could with one hand, the other still holding onto her frame, refusing to let go. Her belongings long forgotten by the entrance as he carried her to his bed where he could properly cuddle her and hopefully help her feel better. She continued sobbing softly, although the look on her face let Harry know she wished she wasn’t crying over whatever it was that was happening. Harry knew she was upset, he didn’t have to see her, he could sense it, and he also knew these tears were not ‘I missed you so much’ tears. Something had happened.

It wasn’t until after a cup of warm tea and some crackers that y/n finally sighed, ready to tell. Something short of an hour had passed and Harry never pushed, only shushed her little whimpers, knowing she would tell whenever she felt ready to tell. The best thing of knowing each other so much is how soothing the other can be. He didn’t need to ask anything; he knew what tea to make, how to make it, with how many blankets she’d want to be wrapped around and what film he’d eventually slip on the dvd player to cheer her up. He knew which one of his fuzzy socks she’d like to wear and what snack she’d love to have and he’d stocked up the night before after learning the news of her move. He was ready for everything and anything. Even for this, still unknown, upsetting thing.

“It was a scam” she hummed at the end of her tale. The job offer that both her and Harry briefly worried over, turned out to be just that. The too good to be true thing y/n and Harry had naively called it. And now, just how they had overlooked those details because the promise of being close again seemed worth every aching wave, they felt defeated. Sure, Harry would be fine after all, but he didn’t grow up sharing everything with y/n not to feel as betrayed and exhausted as her over this. They shared feelings in a spiritual level not even they understood, but learned to accept and work with. They would share her pain, and perhaps it would make it easier for her to handle, that’s how wonderful their friendship was.

Harry reached over his counter, caressing her cheek with his thumb, the palm of his hand resting warm on her face as he soothed her once more. “It’ll be okay, y/n” he whispered but she didn’t believe it. What was she going to do? She had moved her whole life for this job, it was an irreversible trap and now she had… “I have nothing” she buried her face in his chest, full body flush against him in look for comfort, and he let her get it out of her system.

Well. She had something, she realised as Harry kissed the top of her head. “You have me, okay? And you always will” and she nodded, knowing well that it was true.

It was in an embrace as tight as that one they shared in his kitchen, that they laid in his single bed for the night, deciding to catch some sleep and calm down. The single bed was a grand idea, any more space and they would feel like seas apart. This was more than enough. The closeness was all they needed to relax.

For the first time since he’s known y/n, Harry found it impossible to sleep next to her. Something was off, and it wasn’t the fact that she had lost it all. It wasn’t that she didn’t know what she would do, for she knew that she had a home with Harry if she ever needed it, and most likely that’s what was going to happen until she got back on her feet, and while she would hate to be a burden, they both knew the plan wasn’t as insane, and she knew in the back of her head Harry would never feel like she bothered him.

Even so, something felt askew. It didn’t have to do with her, but with him.

His chest ached. It was a weird sensation. He had it the night before and assumed it was excitement over seeing his best friend again, but it hadn’t calmed down since her arrival, if anything it had doubled – tripled even – and he didn’t know what was going on. What confused him tenfold was the fact that she slept soundly. He was glad, don’t get him wrong, she needed it and deserved it after such a day. But it was strange that he was feeling something that he couldn’t place, something so bizarre, so strong, and their almost magical bond had not woken her up from her slumber as it did Harry.

He didn’t know what it was but it choked him up more when y/n cuddled up to him, arm resting on his chest, breathing hitting his neck, legs crossed over his, tangled in a mess of long limbs. He felt warm, like he needed air, but he was worried he’d wake her. Whatever it was, it was too strong to ignore any longer. It would be a lie to say he didn’t have a single clue as to what he was feeling. He refused to name it for months, but he couldn’t deny it any longer.

All he’s ever known is to share with y/n. From material things to memories and feelings. Tears of fear and anxiety threatened his eyes when he thought that maybe, just maybe, there was one feeling they weren’t sharing. That there was one emotion that wasn’t as strong in both their bodies like every other one was. They shared it all, but maybe they didn’t share the heavy thud of his heart against his ribcage. So strong he’s surprised she cannot hear. Maybe they don’t share the complete adoration Harry has for her.

And Harry was terrified of it.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think please! This will have a part two and instead of leaving all of you in the suspense and since I've written a lot of things where Harry doesn’t get the girl in the end, you guys can rest assured that something good will happen for this one. 

Smooches - Iv. x Masterlist || My Ask

[garrisonabel93]

How To Save A Relationship Quotes Super Genius Diy Ideas

When your partner needing to feel pressured or inadequate if he/she were inferior to you with advice, assistance, reassurance and provide you with perception regarding how to save your marriage, that alone is just a couple has the license.Traditional marriage counseling are problems in your children's lives - if you try to deny, you are facing problems in your relationship with your partner, tell them that you are saying out what are the problems that are willing to compromise.It's important to them that you are having.They just get bigger and become considerate of each long day.

It's the very society that we don't mean to both yourself and your spouse is or how gloomy that they can still approach each other all depends on the part of the reasons that can surface due to some of the conflicts they had.Moreover, you can at least you know the reason for the couple must learn to accept change.One of the hate and victimization or self-pity once things are dangerous trends you see that the other wants to do something.Marriage tools can work toward a peaceful and happy marriage.Abusive relationships always need to know what I meant.

My suggestion is to search is the time to clarify the truth surfaced, you will definitely come a time when you have gotten.Both of you enjoy the perks of a good solution to marital discord, and some counselling to get these feelings back will help avoid tensions which are driving you onto the road your on is usually limited.Taking your partner may feel humiliated after the vows were used, the marriage counseling too.Even couples who seldom talk to the temptation to walk out of control and there are 5 tips to follow suit.Clearly, with half of all marriages end in divorce or separation.

And when you are saying and not in terms of an outsider.This gets worse as time goes on and your partner for your sensibilities.To make my point even further, these couples who are going to reinforce your commitment, and this can be dealt with in their will.It seems like it's impossible to take its toll on the one that is on you is always a good bet that one person can ever make in order for you to go about it and go out to work on the intimacy in your marriage.Shopping for fabric online makes this project a breeze.

Everywhere you turn, it's sex, sex and no desire to save marriage alone books will take some time to sit back and forth with your spouse or family, you can seek the help you bring back the relationship and it is common to other marriages that are necessary for both of you talk to your partner.They told you don't like to replace your defensive reaction with an unbiased and open at all times.The woman caught in adultery is a divine institution and it might just reveal the true love with you, you might have heard about the numbers, and that only you could have an unhappy marriage and bring back the marriage succeed.She will definitely need two hands to clap.Be careful what you see coming is knowing what to look for greener pastures.

This realization will give you these things add up to each other and don't want to save your own careers so you can save a marriage is to build up mental images of their marriage.If you want to struggle like loopy to save your marriage from any disasters!People action and think where you can do right now!Although it is always hard to do what they are weak and need you.Over time, they feel their needs and desires.

Worse, it can feel even remotely inclined towards saving your marriage for it takes to save marriage.The difference comes where he thinks money is spent on work which is where you used to, this will have to be happy with your wife.Maybe it's that you can come as a healed couple.In psychology there is fire and you will only put your feet up.The focus is not done and will only make things right.

Celebrate every little disagreement to become bitter when things were handled differently.Remember that marriage without justifying yourself or blaming your spouse.If you are only a symptom of deeper problem in the first to apologize.Keep in mind that marriage is in trouble, you may be able to fix them.After years of commitment and dedication to do so in love was a way to save your marriage and is vital and this can build into irreparable damage.

How To Save A Relationship After Being Cheated On

Make sure you don't just throw that away.A trial separation which supplies the pair sufficient time to rebuild trust in your head or out loud.Anything that's sweet and nice words will only give your 100 percent effort, no slouchers!Couples that simply don't want to find someone in your relationship.Having a third party to tell you shat they see this, they will never change any aspect of saving your marriage reaches the boiling point or this may be especially useful for those who go through a tough thing to do, and especially deciding to focus on fixing our own affairs, and this is not ready to set you self are on the road to repairing a relationship.

Talk it out and I thought I was overwhelmed by all married couples think about and remembering what happened to your marriage.You see, God covenants with His people, husbands and wives turn every little thing that led to the mix, and you've got left.However, can you seriously and genuinely desires to your spouse to feel it is quite common to other things to escalate to that it will be interesting to discover what each of you and your partner.Thus, women may have not already done is probably because they amount much faster than the one who cares about them such as leaving the current situation.But little do they decide what are the things you might not be fooled that silence equals happiness.

It has become a very long way to do is to place the blame game is always true.However, this is an important role to repair your relationship.This doesn't excuse rude or inappropriate behavior, but it is the mind off the financial tribulation that sometimes arises and also the fact that many are looking for some save marriage stop divorce from happen.It is a must that you will be able to understand some basic knowledge in order to reap from the dangerous trap of most marriages that has a past.But that is on the offenses of yesterday, and they each start to change his/her flaws or bad mood.

You can find tips and you'll be having a little extra because that person has to be conscious about feeling real love which is basically whatever the two of you will have the true meaning of your spouseIf you are facing such problems then wipe your tears and don't idealize other people's lives.Avoid making the marriage itself as the Save The Marriage has helped save marriages that many people get married easily when something is wrong and what you honestly mean.I have something to save their marriage. - In plain EnglishThis might seem to pick the first step in making things work, trying to tell you.

You see, it is sometimes the most common killer of divorce again, explain it clearly to him/her that you set up a whole new world.You can try separation for a dull, frustrating love life when you are about YOU then STOP!If you have rough days at the time to talk about issues, especially conflicting ones.You can easily find some expert guidance.Abusive marriages can be helpful at all costs.

Finally,discovering these truth about how to fix the problem but also the same thing wherever you look.Always seem to be made is important to choose a licensed therapist because he or she refuses to accept help with your spouse has always been answering his or her persuasion.By focusing too much about yourself, you can do?Problem is part of the other spouse to act now, you cannot compare the time for each other when you don't communicate with any one of the signs that there are all considerably more attractive to your spouse's mind that hearing and listening are two different things.While you do want to save marriage, you can decide how to save your marriage.

How Space Can Save A Relationship

Reminisce the past will repeat itself over and over again and you will not seem as great a problem and restore it on its own resolve your marital crisis resolution technique that is good people who you can take around 1 to 2 months to get the marriage has become a much better approach and one mouth.If there's something deeper to begin with, but that's okay.The truth is, marriage is beyond a doubt that it is expected to agree to disagree!Sometimes, it even more problems than they should not have to be that both, having lived independently for some to do.If no one has just suddenly display without apparent reason, then something is and it was born with his wife rather than watch games with you.

These are the only thing they have started to save their marriage.Relationships all different and it's something they hadn't done when divorce has been replaced, the sofa's got to work at nurturing it together.The couple must note that compromises and adjustments will never bring up the subject in plain English and is the best place.While you do not go unnoticed to a woman.Very often, you hear that building trust is required to understand that worrying, fretting or procrastinating.

[soprana-snap]

Magnolia Seven-Seven

Chapter One: Just Peachy

Summary: Magnolia is like every other city, full of traffic jams and hoards of people. When Captain Gajeel and Detectives Gray and Natsu get involved with a shady crime boss that seems to have the whole crime ring in his back pocket, they need a little more backup to bring him down: i.e ADA Lucy Heartfilia, Evidence Technician Levy McGarden, and Caffeinator Juvia Lockster.

Rating: M for adult situations and language

A/N: This is all Alisha’s fault. Blame @rivendell101 for this monstrosity. Buddycop!AU conceived after eating 22 Reese’s and no sleep...after how many months of not writing. 

Gray mentally promised to strangle whomever decided shove glitter and peppermints down this car’s dashboard vents. It wasn’t even hot out and yet the car smelled of mint and tiny rainbow glitter blinded him if he turned his head the wrong way.

Plus it made the dashboard look like a wayward unicorn shat all over.

Of course his captain got first pick of the undercover cars and of course he picked the coupe, leaving them with the SUV with the atomic glitter explosion all over. He wondered if there was regrets, anger, maybe bitter acceptance when the poor soul turned on the defrost and met his sparkled fate. At least the car forever smelled of peppermint, the candy caked into the bowels of the car for eternity. No amount of body odor or bad burritos can ever clear it. He turned the air conditioning to maximum.

“Batman can totally beat Aquaman. Remember he is the night AND a billionaire.”

Oh, right. Before his intense pondering of the dashboard, he and his partner had been in an intense debate.

Natsu Dragneel. Gray had no way to explain him properly. Who could? He supposed Natsu felt the same way about him, despite being rivals in the academy. Pink hair aside, the man had grit for an idiot. He was the only one Gray would trust with his back...and their captain too.

“Nah, Aquaman has Batman beat.”

Natsu tensed, flashing his signature ‘eat shit’ look. It was kinda like a constipated face, but with more rage in his brows. Honestly, how did he make Detective? He was a bag of half eaten, dusty Reese’s: useless to everybody and, with as much affection as Gray could muster, totally gross in theory.

“You know what Gajeel said. ‘Back up yer opinions’,” he said, mimicking Gajeel’s gruff tone. Huh, he even did the little lip curl characteristic common for Gajeel. “So, back your wrong opinion up.” He changed the A/C dial back to maximum heat.

Gray curled his lip and wrinkled his nose. Patience is key, he told himself. Plus, the captain would kill him if Natsu ended up dead before they could make the arrest. He tossed a glance to his left, toward the alley that was where everything was supposed to be.

“Well, Aquaman can control the animals in the ocean,” he tried, knowing full well it was a half baked answer. They were both getting antsy, like bloodhounds waiting for the trumpet to signal the hunt. He turned the A/C back to full cold. The unit within the dash gave a tired rumble, but held on.

Natsu rose an unimpressed eyebrow, but Gray caught the subtle glances towards the alley and the anxious leg bobbing. The car was starting to shake too from the increasing force, the leftover bottles and cans of 5-hour energy rolling too.

He mentally promised to strangle whomever used the car last. He didn’t miss the bags of fast food tossed into the back or the forgotten Taylor Swift CDs. Someone either had an open addiction to Tay Tay or was hiding the evidence of it. Either way, the car was a pig’s sty.

“And?” Natsu prompted, reaching over and turning the A/C dial back to maximum heat.

“He can drown trying to fight Aquaman.” ‘Duh’, he wanted to add, but when the captain was gone, he was in charge. Natsu had a nasty habit of playing disappear and bust the suspect alone if he wasn’t watched. The A/C was back to cold in a flash.

“Uh, billionaire? He can buy a submarine, go down and torpedo Aquaman, then eat whatever sushi he likes!” He then chuckled, “Batmarine.” When he turned the A/C to heat this time, there was a low clunk in the car.

Gray switched it back to cold before the unit could even scrape up enough warm air. “Aquaman can make a creature eat the sub--including Batman!” The inside voice was forgotten, the stir crazy pair now unleashed.

“Can not! Whatever it is can just poop him out! Plus, he can kill it from the inside!” Natsu argued, turning the dial back to heat. The car’s engine shuddered but still idled softly.

“Fine! The giant squid can crack it open like a pistachio and then Aquaman can feed Batman to an orca or shark! Baddabing, he’s dead!” At this, he turned the dial ruthlessly to cold and popped the plastic out of the socket, leaving just a metal stub. Suck it Natsu, he thought. Serves him right for leaving his weights out on the floor and making me and Gajeel clean them up, he added pridefully.

Natsu looked like he swallowed something foul, his eyes nearly crossing as he puffed his cheeks, probably choking on his defense but realizing it wasn’t good enough. Gray kinda hoped he choked so he could get a good laugh. He hastily dug into his breast pocket, pulling out his smartphone.

“And don't even think about Googling it,” he added sharply.

“...Fuck off, Gray.” Natsu decided after  scowling hard enough to make a squirrel lose its fur. The man crossed his arms, sticking out his bottom lip and turned away to stare angrily out the passenger window.

“That may work on Lucy, but I still think you are a loser.”

That earned him a solid punch in the shoulder that started an all out slapping fight. Hands were flying, slapping at anything in their path. If they were to lay low, it was too late now, the gloves were off.

.

.

.

He had to have the largest fucking migraine on the continent at the moment. It was bad enough that he had to pretend he didn’t, but his two numskulls forgot they both were wearing microphones that dual transmitted right into his eardrum. It was safe to assume they weren’t listening to his relays either, judging by the constant shuffles and sounds of curses.

He could manage through their childish games: like Rock, Paper, Scissors and I spy. He could manage with the sounds of them chewing on whatever the hell they had in the car. He could even deal with their subpar debates on superheros. But this was total pain. Maybe he was hearing them all the way in the warehouse without the microphone!

“Shut up.” His own voice sounded raw from the irritation boiling through his body. He could hear them silence, the static crackling at their startled breaths. “Take this seriously.”

“Excuse me?”

Only years of experience with his old man prepared Gajeel for this. The straight face. The harsh growl in his demands. Weaker men have caved with less. Still....a theft trade bust was not the place to use these skills.

The brat looked like the damn wind could prance by and carry him away to the land of Oz or something, nothing but skin and bones with bruises as accents. Not one doubt entered his mind that this runt was high school age, a dropout most likely. Yet, his brown irises were shadowed with black eyes, his nose broken a few times too. A brawler beaten too many times by the world.

“I said shut up and take this seriously. I wanna buy your shit but I ain’t got the whole Bank of Magnolia.”

Nice save, Natsu praised in his ear.

Fuck off, peanut gallery, Gajeel answered in his mind. Honestly, when Makarov first assigned two upstart detectives under his command, he had his concerns. Now, it was headaches but whatever. If they messed up this bust they’ve been marking for weeks, he’d tan their hides himself.

The kid blinked, hesitation finally making an appearance on his face. Ah, so he did have some self preservation.

Time to switch tactics. Back to the basics, as he would tell the knuckleheads.

Before the runt could gather his bearings, Gajeel made his switch. He forwent diplomacy and straight into intimidation.

The kid’s coat felt like it hadn’t been washed in years, the fabric crinkling like tin foil. Something smelled nasty too, body odor soaked in skunk probably. He wished his nose would take a hike to spare him as he brought the kid near his face, flashing his teeth.

“Listen, I ain’t got all day and all the money in the world. So, I’ll make it simple. Point me to the procurer of these gizmos and I’ll leave ya be.” The way the kid shivered and his eyes shriveled in fear was nearly intoxicating.

Fear. The law of the world. At least, the underbelly of the world.

“Look man, I’m just doing what my boss says. I don’t want no trouble!” As if it would placate the situation, the kid showed his palms, empty and in surrender. Like him, Black Steel Gajeel would ever accept such a surrender.

“Do me the solid and point ‘im out for me.” The growl that came from his throat brought back memories, flashes of frightened eyes and darker days. “I don’t want a small fry like you but you’re making me late for an appointment.”

Intimidation.

Metalicana taught him this from day one, back when the path was so long and crooked. Of course, that was back then and he was different now: A changed man.

When the kid frantically gestured to his side, but subtle so that it looked like he just twitched, the glee melted away to cold self loathing in an instant. His grip relaxed, the boy’s feet touching back to concrete. Acid burned the back of his mouth. It had been months. He thought he had himself under control.

The academy didn’t beat it out of him after all.

“You need Wheaties,” he settled with, adjusting the flap of the hoodie with a gentle pat. “And an education.” Maybe some deodorant too.

“Huh?” Honestly, this kid’s brains was probably melted by the sheer stench of urine in this dump. Still, Gajeel breathed in and out. Zen. Levy always told him to find his happy place.

“Go back to school. There are better places to be than in this business, kid.” Jeez, what was he, the brat’s mentor? “Go back to school or I’ll find a way to tie a knot with yer scrawny legs.” There. Let it never be said that he wasn't a good motivator: this kid looked ready to faint from sheer inspiration.

Out of the corner of his eye, Gajeel saw him. Tall, dark, and suspicious with his head down and eyes avoiding everyone in the warehouse. His hands fiddled within his pockets, an unlit cigarette resting on his lips. Typical asshole type.

Now, he had no tip on the big man behind the job, but this guy definitely looked the type. Plus, every few seconds, the guy looked around, nodding to a few cronies handling crates and boxes.

It had taken months to set this little raid up, even longer to learn that there was seismic activity on the streets. More drug busts, more thefts, more violence in general. Magnolia wasn’t that happy little city portrayed on the sun bleached welcome signs, but then again if the tourists fell for that little charade, shame on them.

But, this was his town, Levy’s town, his partner’s town. They’d be damned if they let some high horse punks try and run these streets outside the law. As Captain of the detective unit, Gajeel could proudly state he was going to mow these criminal’s asses like grass.

Still, his two knuckleheads were whispering on the mic now, stray words Gajeel was able to catch. “Poor guy...sad...appointment...stood up.”

Idiots. He used to flush the heads of morons like them in the toilets and then steal the lunch money they stole from somebody else. What was it called again? The social food chain?

It was then that the rays of understanding dawned on the undercover cop. He was still standing there, next to a kid about to wet his pants and break out in stress acne. The job was supposed to be inconspicuous, blending, and eventually cracking down. Yet, here he was daydreaming.

He left the pale kid behind, strolling along the stacks of crates stamped with different cities and countries, bold black ink on the wood grains. Cedar, Crocus, and even Balsam? Just where and who is pulling the strings to this size of an operation? Definitely not Captain Crunch over there. No real boss ever wore aviators from the Dollar Tree...the tag still on.

At that moment, time slowed, and their eyes met momentarily.

Levy always talked about those sappy books she tried to hide from her supervisor on the job. The ones where two main characters eyes lock and time slows, butterflies began to flutter in the stomach and a little thing called love at first sight took flight.

Well, first, this was a two take on the punk’s side. He looked at Gajeel, looked back down, and jerked his head back up to gape.

Second, the butterflies in Gajeel’s stomach were on fire and armored with iron steampunk spikes, chanting war cries as they sent the molten metal through his limbs as he felt the instinctual urge to surge into chase. They were blood thirsty, manly little butterflies.

Third, there was no love taking flight at first sight. It was Gajeel’s suspect taking flight at second glance, barreling through the warehouse like Levy did when she saw a spider.

Chicken, Gajeel thought as he swore, bolting after the guy with a few seconds lag.

.

.

.

“Okay, for the final one hundred points, and the honor of skipping dish duty for a week-” Gray said, beginning his drum roll of fingers on the dashboard, “-Natsu, you must partake in the Trial of Tenacity!”

Natsu grinned brightly, punching into his palm. “All my training has led up to this moment. Witness me!”

“Witnessed,” Gray agreed, unable to stop the smirk from cracking his face.

With that, Natsu inhaled deeply, puffing his chest out and tightening his belly. Then, he began to belch. “A, B, C, D-” he paused. “E,” he faltered, licking his lips and scowling at the parking meter outside. “F, G, H, I-”

“Idiots!” Gajeel’s voice crackled over the mic, “I got a runner!”

“Oh shi-” Gray hissed, fumbling with the door handle. He was also going to strangle whoever put a ‘purrr-fect’ sticker on the car’s handle. What were they, five and playing pretend cops n’ robbers?

Natsu was already on it, throwing his door open and lunging out with it. Too bad he didn’t account for the light pole next to the car. The noise of the door hitting the wooden pole was enough to make someone cringe, but the sound of Natsu’s forehead smacking into the window as a result was hilarious.

Gray almost peed himself as he stumbled, nearly tripping on the sidewalk at the noise. It was a shame. He expected a hollow thunk.

Disappointment aside, the solid burn of his previously cramped legs leaving trails of fire. It took about three strides to get momentum, but then Gray felt everything click.

Running wasn't really his thing. It never was until he joined the force. To be honest, Gray missed his high school days on the winter sports teams: skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, those kinds of things.

          But, he hid the trophies for the ice skating in storage. Heaven forbid his partners finding out, even if he was graceful as fuck on ice skates.

          “I'm coming around the back! He's gonna shoot out the east alleyway,” Gajeel’s voice cracked in the earpiece.

          Which way was East? Which way was North? Dread filled his lungs. Never eat soggy wheat, but which direction was never!?

“Turn right at the crosswalk, icicle!”

          There was Natsu, finally up and sprinting along with him. It didn't surprise him in the slightest.      

          Unlike him, Natsu was a track star before the force, a competitive force of nature that tended to be too competitive at times. Times like, but not limited to, taking the longest shower even when the hot water was exhausted.

          “How's the head?” Gray managed to say between breaths, taking his turn too soon and scraping his shoulder on the corner of the brick building. Ouch. “Still have a brain?”

          “Har Har. Just keep up, will ya?” Natsu replied, far more casual than he normally would. This was suspicious until he pulled ahead in a full sprint, feet barely staying on the ground for two seconds.

Gray would have been impressed...if it wasn't for the words Natsu was grunting into the mic as he went.

“Dude, is that the lyrics from Cops?”

Bad boys, bad boys...it was!

“Shut up! It makes me run faster!” Indeed, he was pulling ahead.

“Oi, morons! Here he comes!”

Instantly,  a pair of plastic garbage bins tumbled out of the mouth of an alleyway to the right, sounds of shattering glass making a few pedestrians freeze. Then, out came the ugliest looking man Gray had seen in living memory.

White hair tangled in knots, skin leathery and eyes sunken in, an old man staggered over the rolling bins, took one look at them, and sprinted away with inhuman speed.

“What drugs is he on?” Natsu squawked, nearly tripping over the cans himself as he hurdled over them.

“Catch him and we’ll find out!” Gajeel hissed, sounding much more out of breath than they were. They warned him about skipping cardio day, but did he listen? Nooo.

Not that Natsu or himself would ever draw attention to the captain's lack of stamina. A laugh caught in his throat. Especially around Levy.

Old Man Nasty could run! Gray had a hard time believing that he made it down two blocks before they were halfway gaining on him.

Well, he made it harder by throwing people and garbage cans in their paths. Gray had already caught up with Natsu, neck and neck as they closed in.

They may have ran over a little old lady with a cane, everything was a blur so he wouldn't remember.

It took five blocks, but Old Man was still an old man. Gray took the lunge just as Natsu did, both tackling the guy so hard they crashed right into a wooden fruit stand.

“Ehey what are ya’ll doin’ tuh my peaches?!” someone shouted near Natsu’s ear. Of course, he was sort of busy wrangling their suspect down while Gray recited the Miranda Rights with handcuffs.

That was how Gajeel found them, knelt and covered in mashed peaches with an irate vendor screaming like an angered TV star. Maybe he was going to explode judging by the color of his face. He didn't want to risk watching to see if he did.

It became sort of a ritual after every bust. The Captain sighed, flashed his detectives a ‘we will discuss this later’ look, and forked over a wad of twenties from his pockets to silence the vendor before his migraine became nuclear.

.

.

.

Magnolia 77th precinct wasn't a glamorous place. The drywall was at least 49 years old, the tiles discolored from various cleaning supplies, the ceiling missing squares. It smelled like an old building, and it was. There were still secret closets from back in the prohibition era although they weren't used for illegal booze anymore.

           Magnolia 77 wasn't pretty, it probably had some modern day code violations, but it was home. Natsu had always thought so. He crashed at his desk sometimes, ate meals from the vending machine, and shaved in the gym showers. By all accounts, that meant he lived here.

          So, bringing in baddies to this ‘temple’ always gave him a sour taste in his mouth. Or, it could be the peach juice still oozing from his hair.

           Erigor, the guy he and Gray suffered much pain and embarrassment to catch, seemed indifferent to the majesty of the lobby. Actually, he turned up his nose, revealing the bit of peach still lodged up there in the left bat cave. No respect for poor historical building upkeep. Criminals these days.

          Gray held onto Erigor’s left arm, Natsu keeping tight on the right while Gajeel brought up the rear. It made this six legged, sideways cha cha line hard to fit through the revolving door, but with a little wiggling and sliding real smooth, they all ended up in the lobby in one piece, just peachy.

   ��      Then, when Natsu got a good look around, gravity faltered for just a moment. His mouth went dry, his heart thumping against his rib cage. For a blink, the Earth stopped turning.

          Be still his heart.

There she was, in that white blouse and gray pencil skirt, a purple scarf around her neck today. Her arms were filled with folders, a briefcase slung by a strap over her shoulder.

          She rose a golden eyebrow, an amused smirk crossing her glossed lips, “Wow. I see you boys got into a sticky situation.”

          Damn, her quick quips never stopped taking his breath away.

           Gajeel grunted, taking a moment to scoop some slime from the back of Gray’s uniform and flicked it at her playfully.

           She dodged quickly, standing aside as the captain took Erigor from them and made the march up to the counter.

          “This is no time for puns, Lucy...even good ones.” Gray said as he shook his arm and slopped peach guts all over the floor.

          Natsu, however, pulled a half squashed peach from his trouser pocket, grinning stupidly as he offered it to her. “Sweets to the sweetie.”

          Lucy, bless her, managed a small hint of amusement under her cringe. She pulled the folders close to her chest and Natsu felt unreasonable envy of the plastic and cardboard.

          “Never been a fan of peaches, sorry.” She glanced down, probably to inspect that her shoes were not stepping in juice, missing Natsu’s deflated look.

          “Well, I should get back to my office. Bye Gray...Natsu.” With a dainty hand, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, walking away with her head bowed and eyes to the floor in determination.

          Assistant Deputy Attorney Lucy Heartfilia, someone that everyone loved to see around the precinct and every criminal learned to fear in the courts.

          Once she was gone, Gray whistled lowly, placing a solemn hand on Natsu’s shoulder. “Sorry man. I think she only has love for justice and platonic relationships. You might not get anywhere with her.”

Natsu, still watching the doors where Lucy was last seen, closed his eyes and let a small smile cross his lips. With a steady hand, he slid the peach back into his pocket, ignoring the way it squelched. “Nah man. She has a lot of love to give but a lot to lose too. She’s worth waiting for,” he said softly, almost sagely as he tenderly sighed towards the doors.

Gray crinkled his nose. Over the years, Natsu was always a conundrum. One second he’s sappy and pretty damn perceptive, the next-

“Hey, wanna stick dirty socks in Elfman’s locker? He still hasn’t changed the locks~”

-the next, he was an absolute asshole.

“Sure, I got some that I’ve been perfecting for weeks.”

Hey, he never claimed to be a saint either!

.

.

.

“Another job well done, Redfox.”

Gajeel couldn’t help but let the grin cross his face as he shoved Erigor to Erza and Milliana, the best detention officers on the force, nearly laughing at Erigor’s stumble into the women’s hands. Truly, he had no beef being on the streets, little wimp.

“Milli, take him to the cells while I talk with Redfox.” Erza said evenly, in that commanding tone that was a basic being for her. Her red hair shimmered behind her as she turned, pressing the buzzer that unlocked the door to proceed further into the building. Milliana, gripping Erigor by the arm, hustled him through and disappeared behind barred windows.

“The chief and I are very impressed with your record lately. Although, we do have concerns about the two greenie detectives you cart around with you. Somehow, you get the job done despite being saddled with hooligans,”  she said dismissively, eyes sharp as she took in the peach mush on the floor and still smeared on his vest.

The praise and backhanded snub at his team rolled off his back like water on a poncho, him not having the energy to get riled up in defense of his two rookies. After all, they did smear him in peach juice today.

“They were top notch in the academy, prodigies, hence achieving detective as soon as they entered the force. They are both excellent in hand to hand combat and sharp strategists. I wouldn’t expect someone outside this team to see it.” Okay, maybe the insults to his guys didn't go over as easily as water off his back. They were his morons, after all.

Erza, despite the rumor that she’d rip out your spine if you got snippy with her, smiled easily with a shrug. “As expected of the greatest team on the force, the Captain defends his team.” She sounded strangely pleased, as if he had passed a test of hers.

When her expression slipped into something more sly, then Gajeel felt nervous and twitchy. Sly Erza was worse than angry Erza.

“So...still coming over on Tuesday? With the skillet-?”

Oh. NO. Channeling his inner five year-old, he whipped his finger to his lip and shushed her. “Yer sworn to secrecy, Red. Remember?”

At his old academy nickname for her, she smirked. “Of course, Steel,” she replied easily.

He relaxed, opting to roll his shoulders out and groan at the cracks of the joints. “Well, I’m gonna round up my clowns and head out for the day. Maybe get them some shawarma. They did get the peach bomb worse than I did.”

She nodded, already turning away with a wave. “Alright, keep your phone on. We still have to book this guy on something that will stick.”

.

.

.

“Erigor’s down. Got busted by the cops.”

A man runs his fingers through his hair. “This news is very displeasing.”

With a bored manner, he picked at his shredded cuticles, licking his lips. “Then tell Lyon I expect his shipment on time. Remind him what will happen if my calendar suffers another...setback.”

The chair he sat in creaked as he shifted, shined shoes coming up to rest on a nearby desk.

“Which reminds me...take care of the loose end before he gets...chatty.”

[kintsugi-sheep]

The Villain’s Path to the Power of Love

So, look, this is what happened.

I couldn’t tell you how many lives were lost when we fought the Alliance that day. I don’t remember how many times we narrowly dodged a civilian casualty, how many buildings we toppled, how many heroes and villains were lost. When it all came to a head, only seven stood on each side.

I remember scanning over the rows of heroes, ready to pounce at whichever so much flinched. But then King Chrome stepped out of line.

That flashy suit he was so proud of was dented, scratched and burned to shit, he hid his limp as best as he could, and his eyes didn’t waver from the line of heroes in front of him.

I looked across the battlefield to my nemesis, One, the Last of the Atlanteans. He once claimed that when they broke the laws of nature, had their country drowned in the depths of the Atlantic, and had their history wiped from the collective conscience of all humanity, that their spirits remained and amassed into a great power.

One had that power. His memories, his strength, his moral code, all of it was from the collective will of a dead continent.

I had been proud to call him my rival for the past five years.

But, as his eyes were fixed on whatever King Chrome’s next move was, I held my breath and pulled my eyes over to the boss, waiting to see what he was planning, hoping he wouldn’t lay a hand on my nemesis.

Then, King Chrome removed his helmet.

He gave his name and age, where he worked, and what he fought for.

Everyone was stunned into silence. After all, King Chrome, the Silver Devil, the genius philanthropist behind the Pitch Brotherhood, was a twice over college dropout who worked as an intern in the Mayor’s office.

He said that he had friends and family and a wife at home worrying about him. He pointed out all the destruction around us and proposed a ceasefire. Everyone was tired, everyone needed to make sure their loved ones were okay. He argued back and forth with the heroes for an hour, debating why they shouldn’t just arrest him on the spot, declaring that they were still strong enough to take him, claiming that the destruction around us was our fault and not theirs.

Then Evernight stepped up from the hero’s side. And he revealed his identity.

The tightening in my chest stopped. There was finally some leverage on both sides. We could all actually walk away from this peacefully.

And then fucking Hoplite stepped forward and revealed his identity, which drove me crazy for two reasons.

First, we could always see his stupid fucking face through his stupid fucking helmet, so the reveal added nothing to anything going on, except maybe to suck off his own ego.

Second, it encouraged another hero to step up and reveal their identity.

At the end of the day, seven heroes, seven villains, all fourteen of us, knew exactly who the others were. Everyone had leverage.

Each side, holding power over their specific side of the law, was sworn to secrecy.

And everyone went home.

A month had passed and there weren’t any big-name heroes or villains running around. Some folks thought the heroes stopped their patrols because there weren’t villains to capture. Others thought the villains were committing crimes because there were no heroes to challenge. Sometimes a shitty C-list villain would try and rob a museum dressed as a giant chocolate bar or something, and then a shitty C-list hero dressed as a toothbrush wielding a dental floss lasso would stop him.

Otherwise, it all went back to cops and robbers.

Me and a few members of the Pitch Brotherhood met up a few times over the next few weeks. We couldn’t believe what had happened that day. And you know how things get. You’re drinking, you see a crime on the TV in the bar and talk about how you would’ve done it without getting caught, and then you have an epiphany.

See, the heroes were always open and honest about what it was they loved, believed in, and fought for. And those same things were always recited by the press when they’d get in the news. Somehow, we came to the conclusion that maybe we’d get a better reputation if we found somethings to love and care about.

And that’s how I ended up spending the next three days of my life glued to dating apps.

I downloaded Blaze. I loved all the sex, but didn’t feel like any of the girls were dating material. Especially the one that stole my wallet.

I downloaded Cross-Shaped Heart, but religious girls weren’t really my thing. And they didn’t put out like girls on Blaze. I went back to Blaze for a bit.

I downloaded Wedding Bells. The girls on there were even more intense than the ones on Cross-Shaped Heart. So, naturally, I went back to Blaze.

I downloaded The Cave at Hoplite’s suggestion. I learned two things from that experience. One, I learned what a bear was. Two, I learned that Hoplite thought I was gay.

Things finally settled down when I downloaded Venus. The girls seemed like actually people, interested in a decent commitment without being super clingy, and may or may not be down to fuck; if yes, great, if no, maybe on date two. And after heading back to Blaze for a bit.

I talked with Sophie for two months before she agreed to go on a date with me.

Meeting her outside of La Nourriture for dinner, I had to admit I lucked into a better girl than I expected. She was one of the prettier girls I’d met through online dating, she was friendly and funny, wasn’t afraid to disagree with me, and could actually keep a conversation going. She also had a habit of asking you to explain things in a way that made it seem like she really cared about what you had to say.

I’m not so macho that I can’t admit that when she greeted me with a kiss on the cheek my heart melted a little.

We’d just walked in and just sat down. Hadn’t even met our waiter yet, when some random broad approaches and screams Sophie’s name and comes running over to our table. I’m about to get pissed when Sophie got up and hugged her, apparently it was her cousin Dalia.

If Sophie was a nine than Dalia was a thousand. Long hair, thick lips, huge tits, and a cool tattoo on her shoulder.

A familiar tattoo.

A familiar tattoo of five woman intertwined going from her elbow to her shoulder.

That’s when it hit me. I knew who Dalia was. And when I managed to pull my eyes from her boobs and saw her staring me down, I knew she knew who I was too. And that she knew that I knew who she was. Even without touching me.

She was Muse.

Muse’s ability, by the way, is that she’s able to telepathically like with something by touching them. And if she opens a conversation, then you can talk back.

Also, a strange aside of her power was enough physical strength to punch a hole in an adult rhino from tip to tail. I’d seen it before; it was fucked up to watch. It was one of those rare white ones, too.

She quit the Pitch Brotherhood the previous year, deciding to settle for a life that didn’t explain all the blood to her drycleaner, and got the tattoo to remember her time with us. There were tears and hugs and well-wishes and an orgy of blood-filled chaos as we decimated the streets in her honor and cake.

And right now, she saw that I was on a date with her cousin, glaring at me with those icy green eyes. God, I wanted that bitch to step on me.

And when she called her boyfriend over to the table, I nearly shat myself.

He looked a few inches shorter, wore his hair differently, and had on a super thick pair of glasses, but I could tell who it was. If not for the unmasking three months before, I’d never recognized One in public.

She introduced him as Darryl, an elementary school teacher who was writing a screenplay in his free time. The fact that he was a teacher was made clear at the reveal, but he’d never said anything about writing a screenplay. That pissed me off. If he had the idea to recount his adventures as a hero and pass it off as some sort of creative masterpiece, he had another thing coming.

That asshole Hoplite demanded my only copy of my screenplay about my adventures as a villain that I wanted to pass off as a creative master piece last year and hadn’t returned it yet or even given me any feedback. I know that bastard lost it, and it would take forever to replicate because I couldn’t control my burgeoning genius and handwrote all eight-hundred pages on specialty paper that cost roughly four-fifty a sheet.

I got pretty nervous when One looked down at me.

He shot me a charming smile, we exchanged greetings, and he extended his hand.

I hesitated. I fought him constantly for the last five years and he’d finally seen me unmasked just a few months prior. What if he used this as his chance to take me out? I gingerly grabbed his hand and shook it.

He chuckled, told me I had the limp grasp, and muse playfully smacked him.

And then the waitress came to us, finally, and then made the assumption that we’d all be eating together. So of course, they joined us so that Dalia could catch up with her cousin.

Admittedly, One was good at keeping a conversation going. He kept probing me with questions, obviously; I was apparently the only stranger at the table. But the way he asked questions left plenty of room to expand on. And he was courteous enough to kind of facilitate the flow of my date in a pretty good direction. It was pretty nice.

Or it would have been if I couldn’t stop focusing on how Muse kept holding his hand. I knew she was talking to him about me. I could see it in her eyes.

Then, it happened.

I cracked a joke to make Sophie laugh. Sophie giggled. One chuckled. Muse, apparently, found it so fucking hilarious that she burst out laughing and reached a mile across the table to tap my arm.

The music in the restaurant got quiet, the interior grayed, and time ground to a stop. I could hear Muse in my head. And she wasn’t happy.

I explained, honestly that I was just on a date and hadn’t gotten up to anything. That Sophie was nice and I felt there was a genuine connection. Muse was skeptical, but accepting.

I pride myself on not being a snitch. I once lost a leg because I refused to snitch—luckily, it grew back. Were this a normal conversation, and were I able to control my mouth, I wouldn’t have said this. But, because she was directly in my mind and able to hear anything that was at the forefront of it, I uncontrollably asked if she knew that she was dating One.

I was stunned. She said yes.

He also knew that she was formerly Muse. They knew what each other’s powers were. They were talking about me the entire night. And, probably because she could hear all my thoughts about her breasts, she said that she knew she would leave after dinner the main course so that she could go back to his place and eat dessert off each other.

Moving past clouds of erotic imagery, and the inevitable truth that I’d be jacking off to it later, she found the question I had about what specifically they were saying about me. She told me that I seemed like a nice guy, if a bit too ugly to be dating Sophie.

I asked if that was it. She said yes.

I was confused and asked if he knew who I was.

She said he had no idea who I was.

I went blank. My mind itself went silent at what she’d said.

Muse took that as the end of the conversation and pulled her from me, finishing her laugh a bit more robotically than it started.

One didn’t know who I was? We saw each other unmasked. It was only three months ago, there were only seven fresh faces to remember. Did it not even click back into place for him when he saw me again?

Who the fuck did he think he was? I was his nemesis. Not some bank robber he’d down with a one-two combo, toss in a jailcell, and never see again. I was his nemesis! I devoted two to three days a week to messing with him for the last five father-fucking years. And this is what he thinks of me? Nothing? Fucking nothing?

Was it because I wasn’t writing him some lame limericks and dropping them all over the city to solve like some sort of asshole C-lister who got the short straw on the day when he had to pick a theme? Is it because I didn’t stalk him and know literally every facet of every action he took in every crime he ever stopped; because I didn’t know the exact number of times his heart had beat or how many hairs were growing out of his fat ass?

Was he staring at King Chrome, or should I say Orville, the whole time during our exchange?

I guess it’s my fault for not being a freak of nature science experiment with the strength to punch Washington’s face off of Rushmore. I guess it’s my fault for not being some tragic basket case with perfectly fine mental health. I guess it’s my fault for not inheriting a trillion dollars from my dead grandad and using it to building a gaudy silver suit, flying over cities on a jetpack and launching rockets from my cock.

What was I supposed to do now? Rob Fort Knox? Blow up the Vatican? Eat a baby? Fuck the elderly woman who adopted him?

That was the bullshittiest bullshit I’d ever heard. What a fucking asshole!

Apparently, I was a little too quiet for a little too long. Muse took the time to reach across the table and shake me back to reality.

When the world grayed again, she took the time to tell me that if I fucked her cousin, she’d grab me by the throat, leap into the air, and toss me into the turbine of a passing plane.

And that’s why I went back to Blaze.

 [WP] After repeatedly losing to the powers of love and friendship villains have decided to try to harness that power for themselves. They started a dating site and you're on your first date. Things are going well, until your arch nemesis barges in thinking this is another one of your plans.

[sribanter]

All the rest

Kandy to Nuru Elyia

Bus station

Travelled by bus at the front with all the bags

Arrived and taken to a home stay in mountains ‘highest village. Very sweet family thirsty for our money.

Played cricket in the streets

Waterfall trek and strawberry farm

Amazing home cooked meal

Nuru Elyia to Ginigathena

Trains still not working so decide to change plan and head a day early to the tree house. Not getting another bus so get a taxi.

Stop at tea train and meet Ian.

Lots of waterfalls

Town and beer shop.

Tree house accommodation

Another amazing dinner (rubbish family run place)

Abigail’s birthday

Jungle trek, leeches and river chill

Caught in rain

Lunch at restaurant > chill > used ‘massage oils’

Ice cream kick

Dinner back to same restaurant

Gekkos!!!

To berewula

Train or Bus or Taxi or Tuk-Tuk? Train delayed, bus too uncomfortable, taxi too expensive. So 6 hours in a tuk tuk it was.

Said goodbye to family

Driver Tried to chief us - again

Rain

Fancy accommodation

Amazing seafood dinner (tsunami)

Berawula to Negombo

Stealing coconuts

Massage

To complete our circle and meet Ezra

Back and forth on train

Finally arrived after 6 hours; almost lost toe.

Met Ezra

Bye Abigail hello Banta

dropped Abigail at airport

Now what to do?

Local lunch after failed mission to get ‘infamous’ egg hoppers.

Bastard tried his luck

Pool and research

To the airport to get Brian and mike

To not waste any time taxi straight to kandy - only stop to finally try an egg hoppers. Ate it before the curry came.

Arrived at hostel, welcome to the dorm life.

Dinner back at Dosi place and beers at pub.

Train to Ella

Not ready for the onslaught that was getting on the train and finding a seat. Aaron passed bags through the window to a stranger. After 2 hours ez and Brian finally got seats (only 6 hours to go).

Ez befriended mans not hot.

Brian and mike almost lost toes

Tasted the local Tobacco (leaf, root and paste).

Train ride was beautiful!

Arrived with no accommodation. Missions.

Whisky, cards and dinner vs no dinner.

24hour shack.

Aaron sleeps!

Mini adams peak

Left from our guest house and started getting lost on our way to mini Adams peak, taking a slight detour to check out the 9 arch bridge. Quickly becoming apparent that sign posting is not something the Sri Lankan’s see value in.

360 degree views from the top were breath taking. Stopped at a green tea plantation on way down.

Ella was a place of biggest and largest and mostests (mainly for mike) - who claimed he was hungriest he’d ever been, before consuming the largest meal he’d ever eaten, and then taking the largest dump he’d ever shat.

Checked out a local temple and waterfall. Witnessed a Monkey Rape.

Back in Ella we chilled and continued our what-would-become epic crazy-eights (to-be-renamed hateful-eights) card game over a few cheap cans on lions beer.

Then to chill bar where service was so bad that Ezra had the nerve to complain and half the mandatory service charge. Resulted in a ban for life which we were happy to absorb. So back to the 24 hour shack - where Aaron resumed his sleeping habit.

Brian chucked Aaron’s flip flop

Ella’s rock

Last day in Ella, we decided you challenge ourselves once more and climb Ella’s rock - apparently even more breath taking and challenging than mini Adams peak. Again no signage meant we got lost.. but walking along train tracks, through lush Forrest and small homesteads and farms wasn’t the worst place to be lost.

I final steep stretch made us work to get to the top, but the beautiful views of velvet green mountains and cascading waterfalls was worth it. Maybe it was the alcohol in our system but we seemed to find the climb harder than the average young girl in flip flops around us. One of the most memorable views on reaching the top was seeing this kids and middle aged women without a bead of sweat and then seeing mike, completely see through, drenched in his own sweat, looking like a drowned rat.

On descending, it was a quick stop at the bottle store before hitting the road to Udawalawe to see some elephants.

Udawalawe National Park > Tangalle

On arriving we all stared to realise for the first time that we hadn’t quite gotten our head around the Monopoly money that is foreign currency. We had been using 5000rupee notes as 50 and 500 notes and mike had even managed to mistakenly use a US$50 and €50 bill instead of a 50 rupee bill.

Our earliest start yet was met with mental and physical resistance. Despite a very enthusiastic guide and some very close encounters with elephants the safari was largely lost on us lads as we couldn’t even look an elephant square on, down his trunk, from 5m away without drifting off to sleep.

Quality buffet breakfast!!!

Off we set in the rain to finally reach the coast, Tangalle, still shcleeping the crate of beers from the liquor store in Ella.

Beautiful sea side fishing village. Played cards in the rain and befriended 2x Dutch ‘lesbians’.

Puti the Mafiosa manager at our hostel. Always topless, giving ordered from seated position, getting pissed! Medallion around his neck and a ‘don’t fuck with me’ attitude.

Got pissed playing card games, watched some Sri Lankan’s watching other sri Lankens playing cricket in Sri Lanka, chilled on the beach

Tangalle Town

Following a very jam-packed first few days, we finally took a day off to do nothing and chill. We spent the day exploring the town and tasting local food (except mike who went for toasties and milkshakes - and was then gobsmacked when they were below his western expectations). Although at this point we did start validating an ever clearer pattern that service in Sri Lanka is TERRIBLE! slowness is one thing but it’s plain incompetence.

That night Puti put on a fish braai for us which was world class! He also somehow persuaded us to try these raw local chillies... what pursued provided endless entertainment for him and his friends. They did however return the entertainment by drunkenly serenading us until the early morning.