#hetalia wisconsin

[hetastates]

Midwest Monday!

How each (Midwestern) state responds to scam calls

Illinois: Abruptly hanging up the phone. He doesn’t have time, patience, energy, or will to deal with this. As a kid he might have played along, giving a fake name like "Mr. Hugh Wang-Kerr"; as a teen he would have made threats to the spammer, but as an adult he likes to keep the line free for business opportunities and ladies in strapless dresses (for some reason, though, they never keep the line free for him…)

Indiana: Specifically answers to say "what do you want" and hangs up. Sometimes does this while driving. It’s quite concerning to those who share the road with her. Everyone wonders why she picks up if she knows she’s going to be hanging up within two seconds, but nobody has ever asked her directly why she does this. Indiana's response to scammers is an enigma and— INDI KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!

Iowa: WHAT? HUH?! He'll call you back, he says — and by that he means meet him at the Flying J later if you have something to say to him. He might be a strapping and toned young man — the type you’d think is attractive until you get close enough to smell that True Farmer Boy Whiff — but he’s an old boomer in terms of technology. He owns a LG 5450 for "business calls" and an iPhone 5 because his friends begged him to get a real phone, yet his monthly screen time is about forty two seconds.

Kansas: How do these people keep getting her number? She once took her grievances directly to the cell phone tower, but that wasn’t resolved the way she wanted it to be resolved. Kansas has a very communal way of fixing her scam call woes: If there’s anyone around her in the vicinity, she’s all up in their face. "Hey, do you know anything about how to get rid of these dang calls? Is there, like, a button I press or somethin'?" Oklahoma once told her to chuck it into a tornado. They haven’t spoken as of late.

Michigan: Are you calling about getting your car fixed by him? He’s told you a thousand times, these new cars and their computers have got to go. Oh, you’re not? Well, why are you bothering him? "We've called you about your car's extended warranty—" Oh have you? Have you now? Nah. He’s not buying it. Get off the line right this second or else he'll reach so far under your hood that you’ll be seeing via LIDAR until Teslas are reliable.

Minnesota: Poor Minnesota, easily flustered and not one to Karen around. Half the time, she’s not sure if it’s a scam call of if it’s genuine, and she doesn’t want to be too quick to judge. She'll sit there on the line for a couple of minutes to really gauge the situation, adding in a few "uh-huhs" and "mmms" until the time is right. Then — ope! There’s someone at the door! — or, — ope! My casserole is ready". Half the time, it’s not even a lie!

Missouri: The good thing about Missouri is that he likes good, cheap, reliable things — cell phones included. He has a Sonim XP8, meaning that every time a scammer (and this extends to tax collectors, insurance agents, and Oklahoma — "Seriously, Okie, go bother someone else!" —) gives him a ring, he just throws his phone at the nearest wall and picks it up after it’s stopped ringing. Concerned? Don’t be. The Sonim is designed for that type of treatment. There’s no point in buying something if you can’t huck it.

Nebraska: When she got her first scam call, Nebraska was quite surprised — she was under the impression that this sort of thing would never happen to her! She ushered over Minnesota, who begged her to be kind (oh, Minnesota — the trouble you go through), but Nebraska had heard too much about funny responses to scammers and wanted to try some out on her own. From inventing fake and morbid businesses to pretending to be in the mafia, Nebraska has demonstrated quite the creative streak when it comes to answering scam calls.

North Dakota: He doesn’t give much thought to the matter. He barely answers these calls. Sometimes it’s a one word "no" or a two word "go away", but NoDak works in silence when it comes to scam calls. Why give it time or energy?

Ohio: Aww, yeah! It’s his time to shine! He acts as though he’s in a Broadway musical or an award-winning Hollywood hit. He doesn’t want the fame and fortune that this career demands — no, he just wants the feeling of pride and superiority he gets from completely destroying the competition. He’s mustered up some quite imaginative responses to scam calls, and has concerned quite a few of the callers. His insurance company isn’t too happy with him, because he took it a step further and started doing it to them, too. Good thing they’ve got a lawyer…

South Dakota: Like Ohio and Nebraska, he has quite the enthusiasm to answer in funny and offbeat ways, but unfortunately, he’s got a brother to the north to put some sense into him. "No, SoDak, don’t answer the phone." "No, you’re not being stupid today." Dang it, NoDak, why do you have to steal his thunder? Can’t a state do anything fun? Saying funny things to scam callers isn’t even illegal this time!

Wisconsin: What's that? Wisconsin, pick up the phone! Or is she busy again, screaming over some sports game. What game could she even be this enthusiastic over? Does she even have any major sports teams? Regardless, that phone is not getting answered in a timely manner. Does she even hear it? Wisconsin? Wisconsin, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty! Wisconsin! Wisconsin! Nothing. Damn.

[panda-state-panoptic]

I’ve been thinking about fashion and

This is such a Midwest girls vibe to me

(Left to right) Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Indiana is how I’d dress them

I love the idea of all the female states with their hair done up (or done down) and wearing flower patterns it’s so cute to me

And then with the 70s being bolder with fashion and just having fun

Maybe it’s because of the casualness of it and the social revival going on, but 60s (and 70s) fashion just has such a happy vibe to me and I love to see it

This is more of the 70s but

(Left to right) N. Carolina, S. Carolina, Georgia, and Tennessee is how I’d dress them

Like look at how gorgeous and fun yet elegant their silhouettes are that’s so awesome

[spidertalia]

my wisconsin in a nutshell <333 (she is pure, unadulterated chaos)

[simple-persica]

Some expressive states from the discord (plus Hawai’i bc I love her)

[roszabell]

here it is, the first digital art piece i ever made. and surprise surprise it’s a hetalia OC of my home state

[aph-ask-usstates-and-provinces]

Wisconsin: Hey, aren’t we kinda cousins?

Québec: Who are you and how did you get into my house—

[aph-wisconsinites]

Alex/Madison: What’s the quickest way to lose weight?

Peshtigo, taking off his prosthetic arm: Cut off a limb.

[ask-alaska-and-hawaii]

What good is eternal youth when you can't even get drunk in your own country!?

Wisconsin

[incorrectaphstatequotes]

Iowa: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Wisconsin: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

[ask-aph-province-of-old-quebec]

Knows French and will converse in French: Quebec, Wisconsin, UP

Knows French but pretends not to: Ontario, Minnesota, Michigan

Knew French at some point but isn’t fluent anymore: Illinois, Indiana

Doesn’t know French: Ohio (or does he?)

[ask-ger-and-usa-states]

There is 1 (one) god and it is the Chicago Bean. It is a psychic force of joy, a purely benevolent structure. It’s shape and reflective coating are precisely forged to spread happiness to even the furthest corners of the city. Bean shall deliver us from despair. (If the mighty Bean is threatened the people of Chicago would take up arms in its defense without hesitation and I think that is so cool of us)

To be able to witness such a beautiful sight is a miracle in itself

[justskulkingaround]

[simple-persica]

Whoa, it's Wisconsin! She's a hard-working gal who is hella down to get her hands dirty. Homegirl is nice, she just looks a little intimidating, it's the harsh weather for me. Yes, she wears that tank top no matter the weather, no she won't put on the sweater she always carries around. (not really related to anything, this is just the vibe she gives) Loves really weird soda. Like super weird. Hand her ranch soda and she'll swig it with no problem.

Design things!

Her hair is supposed to be this dark Aburn color but she's actually blonde with some auburn highlights, she just dyes it and is super lazy about fixing her roots.

Her super long hair curl is Green Bay, for obvious reasons I think

Her pants are based on those hunting "bibs???" that are supposed to protect your legs when walking through tall grass, but also the pants that cranberry farmers wear because cranberry farming is like...huge there. The top part is tucked back into her pants with the shoulder straps hanging loose.

Pictured below is a closer look at her ear cuffs. Mastodon skeletons are super common in Wisconsin, so I wanted to call to that by giving her an earring cuff that looks like mastodon teeth

She commissioned these as a treat to herself, so they're very special to her but none of her siblings really get what it's supposed to be

I love what I have so far, but she's still super in the works. So if y'all have any suggestions for her design, personality, and relationships, I'm super down to hear them!

[ask-hetalia-jones-family]

What shenanigans do the three northern (MN/wi/mi) Midwesterners get up to?

“Well” Alfred sighed rubbing his temples, “They are being them I guess. I don’t know why they are trying to get China, maybe to ask Yao for food. Maybe Isolation is getting to them” Alfred questioned. 

[ask-cohabitation-wisconsin]

"Welcome to my farm! You need anything?"

☆Wisconsin ~ Claire C. Müller

☆Profession ~ Dairy farmer

☆Age ~ 16 1/2

☆Species ~ Human?

Dependent blog of the @ask-cohabitation-hub

[aph-ask-usstates-and-provinces]

ask my states and provinces bles