#hey janet. buttons

[bradassholemajors]

I love my coolass vampire lesbian maid alien wife

(magenta as buttons from the busy beaver button museum website)

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

the Chemical Brothers - Galvanize 2004

"Galvanize" is a song by British electronic music duo the Chemical Brothers featuring vocals by American rapper Q-Tip. It was released on 22 November 2004 as the first single from their fifth studio album, Push the Button (2005). "Galvanize" won the Grammy Award for Best Dance Recording in February 2006.

The song peaked at number 3 on the UK Singles Chart on 23 January 2005. It was the Chemical Brothers' highest-charting single in their native UK since "Hey Boy Hey Girl", which had also reached number 3 in 1999. The song peaked at number 1 in Greece and Spain. In Australia, it was ranked number 65 on Triple J's Hottest 100 of 2004.

The track features a distinct Moroccan Chaabi music string sample from Najat Aatabou's 1992 song "Hadi Kedba Bayna" ("This Lie is Obvious" in Arabic). The track also features rapping by Q-Tip (member of A Tribe Called Quest, and previously featured in the polls at #146 with Janet Jackson's "Got 'til It's Gone"). In part of the song, it is played a sample from the duo's first single "Leave Home", released in 1995.

62,3% pushed the correct buttons.

[columbiastapshoes]

headcanons part 3‼️‼️ crazy‼️

hey guys it’s me the person with the regular posting schedule and normal amount of thoughts about this movie! woo hoo! this one is a bit shorter, my sk8 hyperfixation has been completely taking over my brain LMAO but without further ado here u go!

-columbia has a stuffed animal that she is extremely emotionally bonded to. i’d like to think it’s a rabbit with big floppy ears and it’s made out of that kind of rough towel-like texture ykwim?? but anyways she’s had it since she was little and it’s so dirty and has no stuffing in its neck anymore but she refuses to fix or clean it and just carries it around everywhere

-magenta fucking loves earth candy. homegirl is trying to keep up the “i hate this planet it has no redeeming qualities” act but as soon as someone walks into the room with gummy bears she goes absolutely feral

-frank is scared of cats. yes, i know he has the mannerisms of a cat and that is why it’s funnier to me that when he sees a cat he will just leave the room. but also he’s not like an “AAAAAAHHHH A CAAAT THATS SO SCAARRRYYY” person like he’s trying to be subtle about it and won’t admit to being scared but it doesn’t fool anyone

-brad LOVES 50s love songs and also jazz of all kinds. stole this bit from a fanfic but his nickname for frank is sinatra :3 but anyways he’s always playing an ella fitzgerald or doris day vinyl and humming along to the melody while he reads or does other stuff

-frank either wakes up at 5 am or 2 pm. no in between.

-is columbia a dancer? yes. does she use those skills when she’s just dancing to music by herself? absolutely not. she bounces to the beat like a toddler. i love her.

-frank again :3 that bitch absolutely has pierced ears, belly button, and tongue. the movie isn’t canon and i know what i’m talking about <3

-magenta is goth most of the time but when it gets really hot and she cannot survive in all black she gives up and goes whimsigoth with purples and dusty pinks and browns <3

-rip columbia u would have loved electro swing

-ever wondered how riff got that hunch in his back? i have the answer! when he and magenta were little he tried to cut her hair while she was sleeping and she judo flipped him and it just never healed properly

-i could have sworn i posted this one before but i can’t find it? so im just gonna say it now- after the movie events (in my brain no one dies and brad and janet unofficially move in let me have this) janet is trying so hard to be supportive of everybody and im picturing her and magenta as that customwoodburning clip that’s like “are you a les-bin?” “yes ma’am i am” “AWESOME‼️‼️‼️ 🔥🔥🔥”

-magenta is a witch and has an altar in her room, the first time brad went in there he accidentally bumped into it and was scared that the spirits were gonna be mad and kill him and magenta was jokingly like “yeah. ur dead” and he was like “oh no D:” and she had to clarify it was a joke

-frank reads erotic novels at the dinner table and comments on them out loud 🫶

-columbias favorite animal is a jellyfish. i have no reasoning but nell campbell indirectly talked to me and i have been hyperfixated on this movie for over 2 years so u can trust me on this one

[themidnightcrimson]

Violent Night—part one. | w. maximoff

summary: in which christmas eve becomes terrifying.

warnings: creepiness, ultra cheesy flirting with carol danvers

this series is for 18+ only. minors: do not interact.

masterlist.

Soft Christmas music lilted throughout the office. Your coworkers, in their suits and ties and dresses, most adorned with a Santa hat or a necklace of Christmas lights, held their cups of red punch and talked to each other as if they were friends. It was the annual office Christmas party held inconveniently on the night of Christmas eve, and you sat alone in the corner of the break room, eating a rather stale sugar cookie that Janet had made and brought on a ceramic Santa plate that looked older than you.

The Santa hat that had been delegated to your head was itching your hairline, so you took it off and tossed it on the counter you were leaning on, glancing up to the clock to estimate when would be the most appropriate time to leave. Your boss, who wore a red bulbous nose and cloth reindeer antlers on her head, was practically guarding the door. She wanted everyone in the company to have a nice party together, to talk and mingle and become closer in order to champion “company spirit and kinship”. It was the most bullshit thing you had ever heard. Everyone may have looked like they were having a good time with each other, but when Monday rolled around, it would be back to passive aggression and miserable competitiveness. No one wanted to be there, especially you.

As the overly sweet taste of the green icing on the tree-shaped cookie invaded your tongue, you felt someone walk up beside you. Turning, you saw that it was Carol, the only coworker in that room that didn’t make you want to hang yourself with the Christmas lights. She was getting more of the artificially flavored red punch as she glanced up at you.

“Hey Danvers,” you greeted her with a small smile that was hidden by the cup you held. “Are we still going through with the plan to recreate Die Hard tonight? I call being Hans Gruber.”

Carol laughed as she ladled the punch into her cup—her laugh was always genuine and not fake and facetious like every other coworker. “Why do I have to be Bruce Willis?”

Smirking, you shrugged as she leaned against the counter next to you, eyeing you as she took a drink from her cup. “Maybe you’re just not cool enough to be Gruber.”

Carol gasped as she lowered her cup, her shocked look turning into a smile. “Hey, you know I’m the coolest person in this room. Don’t even deny it.”

“Second to me,” you chirped, starting to feel a little bit giggly near the blonde who wore a rather dashing suit. To be honest, Carol was your workplace crush, and after several shared lunches and flirtatious conversations, you were beginning to believe that the feeling was mutual.

Carol distracted you from your intentions on sneaking out early, and you ended up being some of the last ones there. You both sat on the counter near the punch bowl, delegating yourselves as the punch guards and refilling people’s cups for them when they approached. You also talked—you could always just talk with Carol. Unlike your other coworkers, she did not listen to respond. She listened to simply hear you, to take you in, to understand you.

Soon, your boss was actually urging everyone to go home. It was late now, and the roads were icy from the day’s snowfall. Some people were also tipsy, having brought alcohol to spike their punch, which caused new workplace relationships to form right in front of your eyes. You and Carol discharged from your punch duty and grabbed your coats, going down to the lobby and to the front doors.

“Are you calling an Uber?” Carol asked you as she wrapped her scarf around her neck. She knew that your car had been in the repair shop for a couple weeks after the engine mysteriously stopped working.

“No,” you said as you buttoned your coat, your fingers already too cold to function. “My parents always told me not to get in cars with strangers, and I still can’t shake that,” you laughed as you struggled with your buttons. “I’m probably just going to walk—”

Warm fingers suddenly brushed against your cold ones, and you looked up to see Carol stepping closer to you, the air around you warming up. She smirked as she buttoned your coat for you, causing your cheeks to redden. “Am I a stranger?”

Her eyes met yours, and you instinctively looked away. “Um… no.”

“Then ride with me. I’ll drive you home,” she said with finality as she finished buttoning your coat and stepped away. “It’s way too cold and late for you to walk home by yourself. Don’t you live out in the woods, anyway?”

It was true—it was a strangely cold and snow-laden Christmas eve, and your house was way out on the edge of town, buried alone deep in the woods. While the walk home wasn’t too long, as you’d been trekking it for a couple of weeks now, it was a dark and creepy one. You hadn’t walked home in the dark, and you didn’t even want to imagine how much creepier your forest of a front yard looked at night.

“Well—”

Carol cut you off by taking your wrist and leading you to the door, turning to smile at you. “You don’t have to pay me for gas, before you ask. It’s the giving time of year, after all.”

You couldn’t help but smile as you rolled your eyes. “What holiday spirit you have.”

Carol’s car smelled just like her perfume, and you tried to ignore that as she drove you to your house, playing old Christmas music and cheesily singing along in what you verbally opined as the worst singing voice you had ever heard. You couldn’t help but giggle when she started to also add in theatrical facial expressions, having to grab the wheel when she almost slid off the road.

“You’re gonna kill us!” you exclaimed through laughter as she focused on driving more cautiously.

“It’s Christmas—no one dies on Christmas! It’s like, a universal law,” she argued as she took a turn that would lead the car into the woods where your house was.

“Tell that to the directors of Die Hard.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Gruber.”

“Aha! So you admit that I would be Hans Gruber!”

“Well, Hans Gruber dies in the end, so if I get to win, then yes.”

“Yea, but doesn’t his son or something come back in the second movie?”

“There’s a second movie?”

“Yea, I think it’s Die Hard with a vengeance or something—”

In the middle of your sentence, something shadowed dashed across the road directly in front of Carol’s car. She slammed her foot on the brake, the car’s tires screeching and slipping on the icy road, the car nearly slipping into the ditch until it came to an abrupt stop that left you both heaving forward and slamming back against the seats. Hot steam from the exhaust pipe blew into the cold air and fogged around the car as you both panted from the sudden situation.

“What the hell was that?” you breathed as you pulled at the seatbelt that had choked your neck. You looked all around the road and the woods, not seeing that strange figure that had run so fast across the road.

“I think it was a deer,” Carol said as she took a deep breath and sighed, calming down from nearly having a wreck.

“A deer?” you echoed. That didn’t seem right. Whatever had run across the road was tall, as if it were standing upright. “It looked like… a person.”

Carol shook her head. “No, I saw some sort of antlers or horns. And there’s no way a person could run that fast, especially on this icy road.” She looked over at you, seeing that you looked startled. “It’s wintertime—all the deer are moving around. I almost hit two last week, actually. They’re everywhere out here in the woods.”

You only nodded, halfway listening to her as the image of the figure burned in your mind, and a strangely unsettling feeling rose in the pit of your stomach.

Slowly, Carol propelled the car forward at a slower speed, making sure to be alert and keep two hands on the wheels as she drove to your house. You were both silent now, wondering what that shadowy figure was and how you hadn’t seen it until it was right in front of the car.

Finally, Carol’s car pulled into your snowy driveway. “You need to shovel the snow out of your driveway,” she commented as she pulled in front of your house. You had never seen your house from the outside at night, all the lights off, dark and gloomy. Going inside alone made you feel scared, but you felt relief when Carol undid her seatbelt and stepped out, obviously deciding to walk to you to your door. It was also sweet, and it made you smile as you walked with her up the icy front steps.

“Jesus, and you need to put salt on these steps,” she laughed as she held onto the railing, her shoes slipping on the stairs with each step.

“I don’t have a shovel… or salt,” you said as you made it to the front door.

“I can come out this weekend and clean it all up, if you want,” she sighed when she finally made it up the front steps. “I have a shovel and salt, like most adults who live in a colder climate.”

“Shut up,” you playfully said as you took out your keys and unlocked your front door, immediately reaching your hand inside and flicking the switch beside the door that turned on the porch light. Sighing with relief for being out of the dark, you turned back to Carol to see her looking at you already, a soft smile on her lips. “Thank you… for driving me.”

“Anything for my favorite coworker,” she grinned, to which your cheeks turned pink.

There were a few beats of silence where you both said nothing, only standing in the cold night on your front porch, looking at each other. There was some sort of strange look on her face, as if she was holding something in.

Needing to flee the awkwardness, you moved to go inside. “Well, have a good—”

Your words were interrupted by two hands taking your shoulders and turning you towards her, and suddenly her lips smashed against yours. You froze under the sudden, unexpected kiss, grabbing onto her coat and leaning backwards. Her lips followed you, not picking up the hint that you were trying to pull away, and instinctively, you had to push her shoulders away from you.

Carol stumbled back with a heavy breath, her cheeks flushing red as she looked at you with a look of both thrill and concern. The back of your hand met your lips, feeling how they buzzed. As much as you had liked Carol, you did not expect her to kiss you so aggressively, nor did you want it.

“I-I’m sorry,” she blurted, the looks of thrill fading from her face and making her look cold and scared. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s…” you began, waving your hand to tell her to stop apologizing. “Um… it’s fine.” You took a step closer to your door, eyes flickering between her and the ground.

Carol sighed with disappointment and looked down, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I just thought you… I don’t know. I thought…” She shook her head again and looked back to you, and you were shocked to see that there was moisture welling in her eyes. “Merry Christmas, y/n.”

She instantly turned away and walked down your steps, stomping in the snow towards her car. The feeling of offense inside you morphed into guilt as you watched her get into her car, seeing silver tears slip down her cheek under the light of the moon.

“Carol!” you called, taking a step forward with the mind to go confront her and tell her that you did like her, and that you wanted the kiss, and that it only took you off guard because it was so sudden. But she turned her car on and reversed out of your driveway.

You felt too embarrassed and upset to stand there and watch her drive away, so you went inside your house and slammed the door shut, taking a deep breath and listening to the sound of her motor fade away.

“Fuck,” you groaned, turning to press your back against the door and cover your forehead with your hand. You hadn’t meant to upset her. She was the only coworker you liked, and the only person you had liked in a long time. Now you just ruined it, and going back to work on Monday to face her sounded like pure hell.

“Shit,” you whispered as you shivered, feeling how cold it was inside your house. It was Christmas Eve, and the night was still relatively young. Although you lived alone and effectively had no real friends, you wanted to celebrate in some way.

Before embarking on your lonely festivities, you hopped into a hot shower that eased the tension that the moment with Carol had brought you. Nonetheless, you still couldn’t get the feeling of her lips off yours. If you had been crushing on Carol for so long, why did the kiss seem to disappoint you? It wasn’t that she was a bad kisser, it just… didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right in that moment, as you got out of the shower and made some cookies before settling down on the couch to watch Polar Express. With your blanket warming you, and the Christmas tree in the corner of your living room glittering and glowing, you wanted to feel comfortable. You were fresh out of the shower, munching on your favorite cookies, watching your favorite Christmas movie—but that tense knot in your stomach was making its presence fully known.

The sound of the movie playing on the TV in front of you was not enough to drown out the silence of your home. Living alone had proved hard. You hated living in the middle of the woods. You would have rather had noisy neighbors who played drums or mowed their lawns at 6 A.M. You would have rather had annoying children running across your front yard and accidentally throwing balls through your front windows than to be sitting there alone in complete and utter silence besides the low murmur of the movie and the distant hooting of an owl.

And it was so dark. You had turned on every light in the house, but the darkness of the night outside continued to seep into your home. Just sitting there, still, alone, staring at the TV, was going to drive you into madness.

Getting up with a rush, you threw your blanket off you and went to the record player that had been given to you as a housewarming present. Although just pulling up Spotfiy on your phone was easier, using a record player seemed like a fitting thing for Christmas. You put on a record of old Christmas classics, feeling slightly relieved by the grainy music that poured out of the player.

Needing something to do, you decided to wash up the dishes that had been sitting in your sink for a few days. Another bad thing about your house was that there was no dishwasher, so you had to hand wash the dishes as you hummed along to the old Christmas classics, somewhat relieved by the clanging of dishes and noises of the water as your hands swam in it to scrub one of the many dirty coffee mugs.

There was a window directly in front of the kitchen sink, halfway blanketed by a pair of beige curtains. The curtains allowed a sliver of the window to show, and as you rinsed the coffee mug, your eyes casually glanced upwards. Through that sliver of window, past your back patio, into the woods, your eyes caught a shadow moving between the trees.

The fear that jolted throughout your body was cold and sharp like an iron spear grating itself up your spine. Your hands went numb, and the mug in them slipped through your fingers and fell onto the edge of the counter before bouncing off. The crash of the mug breaking on the floor startled you, but what startled you more was that when you instinctively blinked at the sound of the glass breaking, whatever figure you had seen in the dark trees was gone.

“What the fuck…” you whispered, stepping away from the sink as if the faucet was going to become alive and lurch up around your neck. The fuzzy socks on your feet were no help in protecting you from the broken shard of glass that your heel stepped on, and you hissed upon feeling the sharp pain on the bottom of your foot.

Leaning on the island, you bent your leg and looked at the bottom of your foot, seeing blood seep through the fuzzy sock. “Shit, shit, shit.”

With another look to the window and no sign of any shadow or figure outside, you decided that your mind was playing tricks on you. The figure you had seen, or thought you had seen, looked exactly like whatever it was that had run across the road while Carol drove you home. It was late at night, and you were alone in a house in the woods. You were only getting scared and delusional, you convinced yourself. If you really had seen anything, it was most likely only a deer like Carol said.

Your foot was leaving bloody prints on your kitchen floor now, so you started to hop your way to the bathroom to doctor yourself. With your mind concentrating on whether or not there were any band-aids left in your bathroom cabinet, you almost didn’t notice something flickering on your Christmas tree as you limped past it. When it caught the corner of your eye, you stopped, turning to squint at the tree.

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

MK1: Kameos to Kontestants: Janet Cage.

Bio:

Pride: Janet Cage is known in two worlds, being both a major martial art star and an actress with more than one award. Her supernatural abilities, while putting her on the map, do make her interested in their origins. One way or another, she’s going to find who she really is.

Unique normal attacks:

Slowdown: Janet reels back her fist, hold the button to enhance with her shadow energy, before she thrusts it forward. Fully charged outs the opponent in a stun state.

Special Moves:

Ball-buster: Janet does a split, slamming her fist into the opponents crotch. She says “Boom!” As she does it. Enhance for a shadow uppercut that launches.

Crescent Shadow: Janet slides forward on an energy trail, performing a back-flip kick.

Shadow kick: Janet does a classic shadow kick. Enhance for her to perform a second roundhouse after the first kick.

Autograph: Janet pulls out a poster of herself, scribbles her autograph before tossing it out. This does minimal damage. Enhance for her to crumple it into a ball and throw it, for two percent more damage.

Fatal Blow:

Blockbuster: After the kameo attacks, Janet runs in with a leaping knee that breaks the opponent’s nose. She then cracks her neck, winds up her fist, and slams it between the legs, exploding the testicles on male characters.

Fatalities:

New Shades: Janet walks over proudly, taking off her sunglasses and placing them on the opponent’s face. She then grins and walks off, and suddenly, the glasses begin to beep, and then explodes the opponent’s head.

Montage Hit: Janet coats her body in green aura, and does a rapid series of hits on the opponent, almost like a raging demon from SF. She then slowly walks up and flicks their chest, releasing a chain reaction that breaks all their bones and muscle tendons.

Brutalities:

FRIENDSHIP: (Last hit must come from Autograph) The opponent picks up the poster and kisses it with cartoony love hearts floating above their head. They run off giddily. Janet shrugs, and the announcer says “Brutality… Um, Friendship?”

Cut to Black?: (Final hit must come from her throw) Janet punches the opponent’s face, then does two more before shoving her fist row the opponent’s face, pulling out a chunk of their brain.

Ending:

I’ve gotta tell you, this adventure? Wild as shit! Other realms, tournaments, magic, divergent timelines like a comic book? Hell, other me’s?

(Though, between you and me, we know I’m the prettiest one, right?)

There’s a blockbuster series to be made here.

But still, despite it all, I’m still no closer to learning how these powers came from.

I thought it was a chi thing, extension of my soul, but Liu Kang seems to think it’s important, or is gonna be important later on. Ha, foreshadowing, am I right?

Now, I’m not a monk type of lady. But if this old master Shujinko knows something? I’ll give it a shot. And maybe those army people could run some fancy tests on me, one on one time with lieutenant blonde sounds like a fun time.

But I’m not shaving my head, the fans love this look.

Intro dialogue:

Janet: I’ve played soldiers before, you wanna see?

Sonya: Focus on the fight, Cage.

Liu Kang: Your abilities are of great importance, they--

Janet: Hey, no spoilers, m’kay?

[multiverse-edge-slobs]

One morning day at New York City, people shopping, kids playing, it’s peaceful except one hero who let out massive belch “Uuuurrrrppp!!!!!!” That make windows shattered, furnitures shaking rumblers. An 6’7” green skinned woman named, She-Hulk, She-Bulk or Jennifer you can call her, She-Bulk is at Shawarma Restaurant with Janet Van Dyne aka Wasp, She-Bulk’s weights 8,949lbs, her largest double belly flop over her knees, with the standard indent towards the bottom that makes it look like a butt and touch the floor, Her belly button was lost among the folds of soft squishy fat. You can say is in the middle, VERY thickest and yet fattest leg with rolls practically covering her both feet was amazingly fattest with fattening sausage looking toes, Her hips widened as well tripling in width like Wonder Woman’s doorframe hips, a pair of ass cheeks biggest than stacking bowling balls, very hammy lower arms but upperarms fattening like fatten hams, and a decent shelf of backfat and Her back was QUITE fat, littered with 50 rolls to potentially hide snacks and stuff in “Hey, Janet, i want thank you to treat me to dinner” She-Bulk smiled on her bloated face with bloated cheeks between her smile, her cheeks burgs, She-Bulk scratched her fattening triple chins

Wasp walked out with she-bulk she was definitely not as fat but had a bit up pudge “don’t mention it Jennifer, you really know how to pack it all in their” the wasp had the power to shrink in size while increasing her strength and endurance.

[miyuhpapayuh]

anytime, anywhere.

Sitting at his chair, Lee neatly stacks his papers together and places them beside his computer. Getting his work early was something that rarely happened, since everybody likes using him to solve their problems and help break down their theories.

He turns away from the computer and watches the heavy blankets of rain fall over Manhattan. He sighs and calls his longtime girlfriend, Gina.

"Hey baby, I was just about to call you." Her sweet voice comes through.

"I miss you, baby."

"Really? How much you miss me?"

He chuckles, knowing she was up to no good. Hell, neither was he.

"Bring ya fine ass up here and I'll show you."

"Give me ten."

                                                        —

At the home the couple shares, Gina steps out the shower and places her towel around her body. She removes her silk wrap, letting her pre-curled hair fall over her shoulders. She moisturizes her body and reaches into her top drawer, grabbing the new red lingerie she bought last week.

Putting the skimpy material on, she grabs her black trench coat and black thigh high boots. She applies her smudge proof red lipstick and heads out the door.

Arriving in front of the building, she hops out of the car and shields herself from the rain with her umbrella. She steps into the warm lobby and heads toward the elevator. She steps inside, tightens the straps of her coat and pushes the button to take her up five stories, where his office is located.

She taps her nails against the railing inside the elevator, waiting for it to get to her destination. The doors slowly open and she steps off, making her way down the hall.

She passes some of his colleagues on the way, waving and saying hello before, stopping in front of his door.

She twists the nob and pushes the door open slowly, watching his handsome face come into view. She slides in and closes it back, locking it behind her. Her heels click again the marble floor until she gets to the carpet.

Lee groans at the sight of her; curls flowing around her, lipstick covering her thick lips, dark coat hiding God knows what underneath and the intense look in her eye is enough to drive a man crazy.

She steps around his desk, pushes his chair away from it and straddles him, making the coat fall away from her legs. She wraps her hand softly around his neck, pressing her lips against his.

He groans into the kiss, rubbing her exposed skin. He breaks away from the passionate lip-lock to look over her shoulder. He tries to lift the material up but, she smacks his hands away.

"Whatchu doin'?"

She smirks and stands up from his lap, moves his papers to the other side of the desk and sits directly in front of him. She places her heels on either side of his chair, inviting him the stare at her core.

She slowly unties the straps, letting them fall to the side. Popping each button as she goes along, her lingerie threatens to pop out but, she keeps it concealed.

"You ready, Daddy?" She asks.

He nods, biting his lip and continues to stare at her.

"A closed mouth don't get fed, baby. Say it."

"Take that shit off before I do it myself." She grows wet at his demand. Pulling the coat away from her shoulders, it falls away from her body. Lees' eyes pop out of his head at the sight in front of him.

He stands from his chair, gripping her up by her neck. She licks her lips, smirking up at him. He shrugs out of his suit jacket and unbuttons his shirt.

"You came prepared, huh?" He turns her around, pushing her into the desk. Pulling the material aside, he presses his hand against her heat.

"You just knew this was gonna happen, didn't you?" He asks against the shell of her ear.

She whimpers as he rubs the pads of his fingers against her dripping slit. She bites her lip, turning her head to stare at him.

"I'll buy you new panties." He rips the fabric away from her hips, pushing her top half down onto the desk. She moans as he places his hand back around her neck, continuing to rub her.

She hears his pants hit the floor and her anxiousness grows. She feels his hardened length against her slit and moans out.

Lee pushes halfway into her warmth, grunting at the feeling. Gina immediately tightens around him, halting him from going any further.

"God dammit.... relax." He groans, pulling out and pushing back in, “let me get up in there...”

"Fuck... just like that, baby." She whines as he fills her to the hilt with every stroke, driving her crazy.

"Oh shit... oh shit!" She pushes at his hip as he speeds up. He doesn’t stop until she’s a quivering, whimpering mess, leaving her sticky mess all over his desk.

He pulls her up and pushes her against the cold window, her legs around his waist.

He plunges back into her wetness, pressing her into the glass. Her soft whimpers and his animalistic growls collide.

"You're so naughty, baby." He speeds up, leaving Gina breathless. Every stroke, he whispers naughtily in her ear.

One.

"Coming in here, looking like sin..."

Two.

"Got me fucking you against this window," Her mouth drops open as he rolls his hips, digging at her spot, "showing the world... who you belong to."

Three.

"Shit... I'll fuck yo pretty ass, anywhere." He growls into her ear, feeling her clamp down on him.

"I'm gonna— fuck! Fuck!" He pulls her hair, making her head jerk back. She places one hand against the window and the other, on his thigh.

"Cum on this dick, Gina...." her body starts to convulse as his strokes become more powerful, sending her over the edge.

A short squeal followed by several obscenities leave her lips as she releases harshly. Lee wraps his arm tightly, around her waist and continues to drill into her.

"Ah! Babyyyy!" Feeling his orgasm catch up to him, he slams into her harder, knocking her over the edge once again. Her voice gives out, from the screams.

"Oh God..." Lee thrusts into her one more time before, filling her up. He pulls her away from the glass and sits her in his chair, reaching in his drawer for baby wipes to clean her up.

"You're so cute for having these in here." She laughs. Lee chuckles, as he redresses.

"Anything for my baby." Gina stands up and pulls her black trench coat back on. She tightens the straps before, walking over to Lee, placing a kiss on his lips.

"I'll see ya later, baby." He watches her disappear through his door and rubs his hand down his face, smiling.

"She's something else."

@soufcakmistress @ibeoutchea @thegifstories @chaneajoyyy @sheabuttahwrites @supersizemeplz  @nayaxwrites @cecereads209 @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @killmongerdispussy @ghostfacekill-monger @blowmymbackout @quietstorm-thundathighs @twistedcharismaaa @uzumaki-rebellion @daddy-killmonger @hearteyes-for-killmonger @l-auteuse  @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @headcannonxgalore

[shinsouslightningbug]

Lmao ask and you shall receive 🖋️📚🍲 for you and Shinsou :)

🖋️: Have you tried learning another language because of your f/o? Did you stick to it after the initial idea?

Me: I've learned a few random words in Japanese, but I keep tripping over the pronunciation. Let's see... I know how to say "die", "idiot", "itadakimasu", "fuck", "shit", "bitch", and "I love you".

Shinsou: Why am I not surprised that you learned all the curse words first?

Me: Because you like antagonizing Bakugou, and that guy is LOUD when he's mad... which is all the time. Anyway, I'm kinda slow at languages (my middle school French teacher and my high school Italian teacher can confirm), but I'm working on it, I promise.

Shinsou: You could just download one of those language apps like Duolingo.

Me: I refuse to interact with that homicidal green owl.

Shinsou: ...what?

📚: Are there any folk tales / local legends that you've told your f/o about?

Me: Okay, so I don't really have much in the way of "local legends" unless you count cryptids like Mothman or the Jersey Devil, but I do know I'm some flavor of North European (AKA White As Fuck), so I know a lot about medieval English and Irish legends like King Arthur, Fionn Mac Cumhaill (pronounced "Finn McCool", which I love), Bonny Janet, Robin Hood, etcetera . Oh, and I know a fuck ton of Norse myths.

Shinsou: Nerd.

Me: Your nerd.

*⚡⚡⚡*

Shinsou: I don't actually know many local legends or myths, other than a handful of yokai. Tengus, kitsunes, kappas, tanuki, that kind of thing.

Me: I know one myth about the sun goddess Amaterasu hiding in a cave after her brother Susanoo threw a horse into her weaving hall and getting lured out by a striptease from the dawn goddess Ame-No-Uzume-No-Mikoto, and then one about how Susanoo was exiled and then found the legendary sword Kusanagi No Tsurugi.

Shinsou: Grass-Cutter?

Me: it's a lot more epic than it sounds, trust me.

🍲: Let's talk food! Are there any culturally-unique dishes you've tried making for your f/o? Are there any they've made for you?

Shinsou: I've made chili for Sparky a few times after he's had a bad day at work, since it's his favorite.

Me: He's getting a lot better than when he first tried.

Shinsou: Hey, I hadn't ever heard of chili before you made it for me. Give me a break, kitty.

Me: You forgot the CHILI POWDER. The thing that gives chili it's NAME. You forgot that.

Shinsou: And you've burnt water. What's your point?

Me: For the love of- That was ONE TIME!

*⚡⚡⚡*

Me: I've tried my hand at mochi a few times. I think they turned out pretty good! I've also made yakitori before, since that's basically just putting some chicken on a stick and grilling it.

Shinsou: Not bad for someone who's burnt water before.

Me: IT WAS ONE TIME!

Shinsou: Still not sure how you managed to do that.

Me: Oh, and I've made ramen, but everyone and their mother knows how to make ramen.

Shinsou: Putting a plastic container in the microwave and pushing a few buttons doesn't count as "making ramen".

[danime25]

Sweater

masterlist // ao3

Summary: Holland wanted to take his girl out tonight. She had other plans.

Rating: +18 for explicit mature content

Content/Tags: Smut, Gratuitous Smut

Status: One Shot/Complete

Another day, another lead to nowhere and yet it wasn’t such a bad day at the Nice Guys Agency. He had Holly waiting for him at home and a nice rocks glass just begging to be filled with whisky. After all, he needed to loosen up a little before his ‘date’, as his daughter would call it. He’d dab a little cologne on before he met his lady, maybe pick out a nicer tie than the ones he would normally wear to work. He pulled up to his house and saw the lights were off. He raised an eyebrow but his first thought was about Holly, wondering where she could be. Ideally, she’d either be at Healy’s or Janet… no that wasn’t her name. He racked his brain for a second before deciding it really didn’t fucking matter all that much. Maybe Holly was throwing him a surprise party? What would the reason be? Again, it didn’t fucking matter all that much. Finally, after spending a minute or two in his car he got out and quietly unlocked the door. He flicked the light. His lips moved before his voice managed to say anything and saw a figure sitting on his couch. Her hair draped over one shoulder and she was almost perfectly still. She turned around to face him and her whole face lit up. Damn. She was the hottest fucking woman around right now.

“Hi Babe.”

“Hey.” He greeted her cautiously. She got up from the couch to meet him, wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. His hands moved to have one support her back and the other work its way into the luxurious silky hair she had. When she pulled away he looked down at her body. He noticed her legs were showing and then looked up to see that all she seemed to be wearing was a sweater that acted like a dress on her. “That’s… my sweater.”

“Yeah?” She raised her eyebrow and bit her lip. He wanted to devour her there, but his brain started working before he could do that.

“Where’s Holly?”

“Over at Jessica’s. Gave her 10 for a pizza. Gave that slut of a sister 10 to keep her legs shut.”

“God she’s such a slut.” His voice trailed off as his eyes darted back down to her chest. “One last question.”

“Yes?”

“Why the fuck you still got it on?” He took the sweater and lifted it off over her head and was greeted with the cutest pair of panties. She wrapped her legs around his hips and with all the force in his body slammed her into the wall. He moved one hand up from resting on her ass and worked it up her back to support her neck. She shoved her tongue into his mouth and he felt his eyes roll to the back of his head while keeping his lips pressed up against hers as much as possible. She wiggled a bit and moved her arms underneath his arms. She used her hips to rock into Holland, throwing him off a little bit and he stumbled away from the wall, only to push her back into him. After what felt like seconds and hours all at once, he pulled away from her and she got onto her feet. “Jesus fucking Christ.” Without a word, she ripped open his shirt, two or three buttons flying off onto the floor. She worked her hands over the waistband of his pants and kissed him again. He kissed back before letting out the tiniest of moans. “God… stop fucking teasing me babe…”

“Tell me what you want.” She looked into his eyes. She looked so innocent, but Holland knew that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“God just let me fuck you.”

“Should have said that sooner.”

He threw his shirt and tank top off to the floor and jimmied with his belt. He cursed under his breath as his fingers fumbled to undo the buckle, only for her to swat his hand away and unbuckled him. He picked her up and threw her down on the couch. She twirled a strand of her hair around her finger before Holland practically jumped on top of her. He took one of her legs and pushed it up so her foot laid flat on the couch. He rested on top of her before he thrusted inside of her with one firm motion of his hips. She made a grunt from the back of her throat as he slowly started thrusting into her. He took it slow at first, but when he looked down at her face and the way she was trying to hold back all the moans, he sped himself up.

“Fuck.” She dug her fingernails into his shoulder blades which only urged him to move faster as he wanted her to move her hands down lower on his back. Her back arches as he thrusts deeper into her. “Fuck Hol.”

“Say that again.” He moaned

“Fuck Hol.” She repeated herself

“Say something else.” He grunted, sweat dripping down his face

“What the fuck do you want me to say?” Her chest heaved as she got close to getting off

“Anything.” He let out a pathetic little whine as he felt the heat pooling in his abdomen

“Just fucking cum inside of me already, Hol!” She slapped his back with her dominant hand and like that his body jerked and he came. His pace slowed until he came to a complete stop and lied on top of her.

After a minute of pants and otherwise near silence he finally broke it with a normal volume, “Jesus.”

“Fuck.” She smiled as she cursed

“Fuck.” He nodded before doing his best to wrap his arms around her in the position they were in on the couch. If he could have moved he would’ve carried her to his bedroom. And yet… he needed her again, right here right now. He nipped at her neck a little bit and watched as her head rolled back. “God. I need a smoke.”

“Give me one too.” She said before he got up to grab his pack from out of his coat pocket along with his lighter. After he got up off her, she went across the room and picked her clothes off of the corner she hid them in before her boyfriend got home. He watched as her back faced him and she slowly, so painfully slowly put her clothes back on like a reverse strip tease. After he got his light started he fumbled through his clothes on the ground and put his tank top and pants back on. Just in case Holly came back, with Jessica in tow. After a couple minutes spent smoking, she looked over at the phone hanging on the wall.

“So Chinese?” She said nonchalantly

“Yeah, Chinese would be great.” He darted his eyes away from her glare before going across to the kitchen to start dialing.

“Hol?”

“Yeah?” He turned towards her, just as he was about to punch in the last number

“I’m glad we stayed in.”

“Yeah. I am too.” He smiled before saying, “You should wear my clothes more often.”

[lasagnaboi9383]

One morning day at New York City, people shopping, kids playing, it’s peaceful except one hero who let out massive belch “Uuuurrrrppp!!!!!!” That make windows shattered, furnitures shaking rumblers. An 6’7” green skinned woman named, She-Hulk, She-Bulk or Jennifer you can call her, She-Bulk is at Shawarma Restaurant with Janet Van Dyne aka Wasp, She-Bulk’s weights 8,949lbs, her largest double belly flop over her knees, with the standard indent towards the bottom that makes it look like a butt and touch the floor, Her belly button was lost among the folds of soft squishy fat. You can say is in the middle, VERY thickest and yet fattest leg with rolls practically covering her both feet was amazingly fattest with fattening sausage looking toes, Her hips widened as well tripling in width like Wonder Woman’s doorframe hips, a pair of ass cheeks biggest than stacking bowling balls, very hammy lower arms but upperarms fattening like fatten hams, and a decent shelf of backfat and Her back was QUITE fat, littered with 50 rolls to potentially hide snacks and stuff in “Hey, Janet, i want thank you to treat me to dinner” She-Bulk smiled on her bloated face with bloated cheeks between her smile, her cheeks burgs, She-Bulk scratched her fattening triple chins

"Oh, of course, Jennifer! It's the least I could do, after you saved the city again!" The thin woman smiled at She-Bulk, as the massively obese woman walked back with her to Janet's apartment, for her to spend the night. She smiled, looking at Jennifer's body jiggling with each step, the massive pile of green fat barely contained by a ripped purple spandex suit, a vast tear in it's midsection leading to her stomach pouring out of it, almost hanging over her knees.

[bradassholemajors]

made a bunch of shitty moodboards for the rocky horror characters w/ buttons from the busy beaver button museum website :•) anyway here’s frank n furter

[henriiiii-1001old]

time to do a silly over here hey is it okay to ask u to pick one au u have, how would the aus cast do in among us. like who the fuck rages. i shit you not someone ran to the emergency button in a game i was in instead of reporting a body, i was very mad. werent even the imposter either. also hi other person who knows who i am. -silly

anyways i have the PERFECT THING to explain how theyd play among us :33333

introducing: tmc as the morning lobby/hafu lobby!!!!!

you dont need to know who they are to understand, just know that i am insane over them and i love among us videos sm still <333333

SO FIRST!!!! we have mark and sarah as 5up and hafu. 5up and hafu are noted as an iconic sibling duo, very much like the heathcliff siblings. they are also MASTER among us players, most notable for their incredible impostor plays (esp when together as an impostor duo). but besides that, mark and sarah play EXTREMELY well and like order to balance out the chaps of the lobbies.

next up we have jonah and adam the iconic dumb and dumber duo, dk and steve, respectively. they mostly do a lot of trolling. dk is mostly known in his older days for “throwing” a lot of the games, which i just have a feeling jonah would do a LOT. he does get a lot better overtime though!!! as for adam, he gets steve bc steve’s demeanor just 100% matches w adam man. and the lobby has claimed that steve can “roleplay as himself”, which is kind of what adam has been doing his entire life. dumb and dumber can be a powerful duo if they dont throw each other under the bus in the first round and have had some killer games!!!

next up i have thatcher as dumbdog. dumbdog is usually seen in a dark green color, which my brain just went “oh yeah thatcher lol.” however, dumbdog is a mix of a serious and silly player, going along with bits that he thinks are funny but also still being serious when he needs to be. i just think that captures thatcher SO WELL. also dumbdog’s laugh is just so good i might just make it thatcher’s laugh i love it sm.

next we have dave as junkyard. the entire thing with junk is that he’s the oldest in the group, and i think dave would play that role very well even if he’s not necessarily the oldest.

and this is where things get blurry. im not sure who would be who at this point, so i’ll just give a lil rundown of everyone else’s playstyles.

ruth is also a serious and silly player but leans more towards silly. maybe she’d be a good kara? idk

WAIT EVELIN IS MAYBE JANET. i mostly know janet for being so focused on being her role, especially snitch, and its just really entertaining imo. i just feel like evelin would be the same way, hyperfocusing on playing her role and such.

the alts are. okay at the game ig. gabe’s mostly alright but when he’s crew he’ll just get sussed for no reason and it pisses him off to hell and back. six is a VERY silly player. he’s probably a really good jester ngl. stanley i’d say is the best one! very tactical and plans out a lot of their actions. plays really good as both crew and impostor. puppet can be a REALLY good impostor if he knows how the specific role works. he does like to do a bit of fuckery here and there though bc he just likes being so silly goofy.

i didnt almost forget eden (lying) and soeaking of i feel like he’s still getting hsed to the game, likes to call too many buttons, gets caught too often, and misreads a lot of situations. but hymn’s still learning!!! he’s got a long way to go!!!!

uuhhh thats kinda all i have for now ig! also i probably should have clarified this is mostly for unholy gift.

[renee-writer]

Baby Girl Chapter 20

AO3

They go out that night before another case makes it impossible. She is nervous, having dated very little. Her focus was on her education and then work. Now to be going out with someone from work, it has her stomach tied up in nuts.

 

What to wear? She stands in front of her closet  scanning through her available items. Nothing feels right. Finally she chooses a little black dress. You can’t  go wrong with that, right?

 

Minimal make up, her hair casually pulled back, she is ready. The door bell rings and her heart jumps. “Come one Beauchamp. It is Jamie. Your mate. You can do this.” She tells herself as she sooths down the dress and walks over to the door. She opens it.

 

He, dressed in a button down off white shirt and jeans, stands holding flowers. Handing them to her, his eyes roam, taking in her long legs, previously unseen bare in all their glory. “Hey Claire. You look stunning. A real knockout.”

 

She blushes as she takes the bouquet. “Thank you and thank you for the flowers. They are beautiful.”  She hurries to place them in water.

 

“I feel overdressed.”

 

Another blush. “ I wasn’t  sure what to wear. Little black dresses are always appropriate, I thought?” Her teeth work her bottom lip as she worries.

 

“Oh no, you are right. Your dressed wonderfully.” He offers his arm and she takes it. They walk towards his car. “My lady.” Said as he opens the door. She smiles and slips in. Closing her door and the wonderful clean and somewhat green smell of her perfume in. Walking around, he finds she has reached out and opened his too.

 

“Manners, eh?” She grins at him. He returns it.

 

*Indeed.”

 

They make a point not to talk shop as they drive to the restaurant.  Instead, they discuss the other members of the team.

 

“Exactly how smart is John?”  

 

“Oh he is a certified genius.  Has a perfect memory. Everything he sees, reads, hears, experiences, he recalls. “

 

“A blessing and a curse in…”

 

“Aye. Being the youngest doesn’t  help either.”

 

She rests her head on her hand and looks over at him. *Who is the oldest?”

 

“Murtagh .” he laughs, “He is nicknamed  ‘Godfather’ because he makes it his mission to look after everyone.”

 

“Sweet.”

 

They pull up in front of a cute little restaurant. He comes around and opens her door and offers his arm again. With a brilliant smile, she takes it. They walk in.

 

Sitting across from her, orders taken, he asks, “So tell me about yourself, your family.”

 

“I am an only child. My dad has one brother, my darling Uncle Lamb. “

 

“Lamb?” he raises his eyebrows.

 

“Quinton Lambert. He goes by Lamb. He is the man who has raised me since I was five and my parents passed in a auto accident.” She says it without a break in her voice. He knows she has reached a stage of acceptance. Still, he lays his hand over hers.

 

“I am sorry.”

 

“Thank you. I was blessed to have Uncle Lamb. He was father and mother, best friend and counselor. He took me in without a word about how it would disrupt his life. He was a archeologist when I came to him. He became a professor so I could have stability.”

 

“Sounds like a wonderful man.”

 

“He is. Your turn. Tell me about your kin.”

 

He smiles. “How many generations back?”

 

Her eyes roll. “Your parents will do.”

 

He settles back in his seat, preparing to tell  a tale. She grins in anticipation.  “My parents meet when they were in upper school. She was a Mackenzie and her parents had no love for the Fraser’s …Well, she snuck out the window and into his car…They we’re married before her parents discovered her missing.  William was born nine months later. Janet, who everyone calls Jenny, three years after him. Myself three years later.”

 

She is fascinated by the story. “Did your maternal grandparents ever forgive them?”

 

“Aye. With Willie ‘s birth. Nothing like a grandchild to thaw cold hearts.” Their meals were served during his story. They take a few minutes to eat.

 

“It is just Uncle Lamb and I and you have such a large family.”

 

“Aye, let’s see there is Willie and his wife,  Rose. They have two children, Brian, after my dad and Violet to go with Rose.  Jenny and Ian have, Wee Jamie, Maggie, and the twins, Janet and Michael.”

 

“Wow!”

 

“I am the only one not married with children. Jenny frets about it but my mam, Ellen, she tells her to let me be. That the right one will come and then I will settle down.”

 

She grins over the last of her fish and chips.  “Been a bit wild, have you?”

 

Now with the blokes he would answer that differently. But with her, honesty wins out. “No, only two serious girlfriends. One in uni and one a few years back.”

 

“Two. That isn’t bad.”

 

“Not at all. My sister considers me unsettled until I get married. “They share a laugh. “How about you?”

 

A flush and her head goes down.  She debated how to answer this question. “None.” Honesty  wins.

 

His blue eyes, almost  indigo in the candle light, grow huge.

 “None?” She shakes her head.

 

“No I was a socially awkward teen and young adult. Then my career  consumed my time.” She shakes her head again. “That is true but not completely. I wanted someone as giving and understanding as Uncle Lamb. It couldn’t be just anyone.”

 

“I think that is wonderful. To be so sure of who you want.” He draws closer across the table. Both their breaths still. She sees the gold that runs through the red in his hair. He sees the same in the brown of her eyes. They sparkle like whiskey. A second and then…

 

Both their phones ring at the same time. “Blast it!” he mutters. It is Murtagh. They have a case.

[incarnateirony]

Not that person. Don’t know who that is. Do you realize how many people can’t stand you because of how you’re acting right now? People in the server. You can’t comprehend that people might say or do something that’s not for their own “team”, and so many people can’t fucking stand you for it because the if somebody disagrees you cry manipulation and convince everybody that they are evil enough to stalk and scream ILL SLAUGHTER YOU YOU CUNT at for MONTHS. Get. Fucking. Help.

...Fear me? What am I gonna do? Kick out a lurker? Is that gonna ruin their life?

Actually, I know who you are. I know you're the moron feeding bad information to Snotrag after he was banned and denied re-entry for being the most obnoxious piece of shit in the server to the point I'd wake up to all my servers pushed down by the fuckin DMs bitching about his sea lion ass, I also know it's not just my server you're targeting, and a second server is dealing with it, because you guys are weird, treasonous snakes that think spinning up cobwebs of bullshit will fix your life. Like, idk if you know, we know you're there. We know who it is you're talking to and which servers you're attacking, and it's not even just mine.

I don't give a fuck. You don't like me? Leave my blog. Leave my server. Nobody has a gun to your head. What YOU can't tolerate is that I. Don't. Have. To. Tolerate. Your. Abuse. You slap, I bite. You punch, I shoot. What's not clicking.

You're not used to it. You're used to feeling like big britch keyboard warriors, but you finally found someone that hits the buttons your parents clearly failed to for you, because you're experiencing some kind of shame and lashback.

I weathered like. YEARS. Of half of hellerdom coming at me. "SOME PPL DONT LIKE YOU" COOL SHIT JANET WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY DO I CARE.

Reality is reality whether you like reality or like the person telling you reality or if you've been so insufferably ignorant someone just finally defines "reality" by knocking your teeth in. And that's why you're losing your shit. Because you know for a god given fact you can't scare me. You can't out loud me. Any time you try to manipulate things you guys look like bigger clowns and assholes when the receipts hit.

You think *I'm* hated? OH. BOY. HEY SWEETIE PIE LOOK AT THE TRENDS IN 2pO'S ENGAGEMENT OVER THE LAST 6 MONTHS FIGURE OUT WHAT'S HAPPENING.

You finding a bunch of bitter asshats that got banned for triangulating jensen or bullying users and you all monkey climbing like howler monkeys to jump up and down about how fine it is for you to work with pieces of shit like Snotrag--who report to 2po--so yes, you are exactly what I said you are.

Again. Don't like my shit? You can leave. Nobody glued you there. You're not a hostage. What you like is lies and drama. Go find that somewhere else.

[maifromshowfall]

Narrator:

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Cut to Barry's room, where he's picking out what to wear.

Barry

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Yeah, let's shake it up a little.

Barry uses honey from a dispenser to style his hair, rinse his mouth, and then applies it to his armpits.

Mom (Janet Benson)

(calling from downstairs:) Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Barry:

Coming! (phone rings) Oh, hang on a second. (adjusts his antennas into a headset) Hello?

Adam Flayman

(on the phone) Barry?

Barry:

Adam?

Adam:

Can you believe this is happening?

Barry:

I can't believe it. I'll pick you up. (hangs up, sharpens his stinger) Lookin' sharp. (flies downstairs)

Mom:

Barry, why don't you use the stairs? Your father paid good money for those.

Barry:

Sorry. I'm excited.

Dad (Martin Benson):

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. And a perfect report card, all B's.

Mom:

Very proud. (touches Barry's hair)

Barry:

Ma! I got a thing going here.

Mom:

Ah, you got some lint on your fuzz.

Barry:

Ow! That's me!

Dad:

Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

Barry:

Bye! (flies off)

Mom:

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

(Barry drives his car to pick up his classmate. Adam's outside his house, reading the Hive Today newspaper. The front page headline reads "FRISBEE HITS HIVE ! Internet Down. Bee: 'I heard sound, then Wham-o!'")

Barry:

Hey, Adam.

Adam:

Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel?

Barry:

A little. It's a special day, finally graduating.

Adam:

Never thought I'd make it.

Barry:

Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school.

Adam:

Those were so awkward.

Barry:

Three days of college. I'm glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive.

Adam:

You did come back different.

(a bee calls out as they drive past)

Bee:

Hi, Barry.

Barry:

Hey Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

Adam:

Hey, did you hear about Frankie?

Barry:

Yeah.

Adam:

You goin' to his funeral?

Barry:

No, I'm not goin' to his funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead.

Adam:

Yeah, I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.

(They make various noises as the car goes up and down some hills and does a loop on the road.)

A & B

Woah! Oooooooh!

Adam:

I love this incorporating an amusement park right into our regular day.

Barry:

I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations.

(They arrive, fly in and take their seats.)

Barry:

Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.

Barry:

Well, Adam, today we are men.

Adam:

We are!

Barry:

Bee-men.

Adam:

Amen!

A & B:

Hallelujah! (bumping each other) Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Announcer:

Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Dean Buzzwell walks onto the stage and taps the microphone.

Buzzwell:

Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... (presses a button to change the timer on the podium from 9:00 to 9:15) ...9:15. And that concludes our graduation ceremonies.

(Students cheer, throw their caps into the air as helmets are placed on their heads.)

Buzzwell:

And begins your career at Honex Industries!

Barry:

Are we gonna pick our jobs today?

Adam:

I heard it's just orientation.

Barry:

Huh. Woah. Heads up! Here we go.

(The stands for Winger University the students are sitting in begin converting into tram seating.)

Female announcer:

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. (flies down to go in the tram as it starts moving and repeats it in Spanish:) Mantenga sus manos y antenas dentro del tranvía en todo momento.

I would have you sent you the entire thing, and by god I tried, but it crashed tumblr twice in the process, so consider yourself spared

Please Stop Sending Me Asks.

[cosmicgrapevine]

     Mr. Hudson’s printer hummed as Lynd’s temporary ID came out. Tabby took it gently; the paper was still hot. The photo quality was awful, but it still said ASH, LYND (M) (JR), and gave a locker number and ID number. It was real. This was really happening. “I’d recommend not losing that one,” Mr. Hudson said, “Seeing as how your birth cert, social, legal address, name of legal guardian, medical records, and educational history are, uh, ‘temporarily unavailable’.”        Lynd smiled guiltily as he took the ID. “I understand this is…less than ideal, from your perspective, sir. You have my gratitude.”       “Well, I’ve gotten some funny looks from the registrar before, but this was a wild one.” He sat down and reclined in his office chair. “I’ll be honest, guys, I wanted to move slower here. Enrollment here is over twenty-five hundred, and 99% of ‘em are just living their normal lives.”       “You think I’m a danger?”       “I didn’t say that,” he answered. “But in terms of blending in, this is a trial by fire, and, well, you’ve barely been living in civilization for two weeks. If you get found out, and if the Fullmires hear about it…it’s my job to keep my students safe.” He shrugged. “But hey, get out there and prove me wrong, Mr. Ash! Welcome to Kahoti High, and go Knights!”       “Go Knights.” Tabby responded. She wasn’t much for school spirit, but he’d earned some. Miss Verne gave him the news Sunday afternoon; he hammered out a ‘remedial-oriented’ schedule for Lynd and got it approved by the school, and now it was Wednesday morning. He’d have a familiar face in class every hour but one, and with an early start, be done at 1:30 every day.       It would be her early start now too, some days. She’d had her license for a year and a half, but ‘Driver’s Ed’ with Lou and Lynd, far away from prying eyes and ears, was a perfect place to talk shop. Today, though, she’d just walk him through his day before her own started; he said that if he was showed every room and how to get there, he wouldn’t even need a printed schedule: “Marksteppers are good at retracing our paths; we need to be.”       So, in control for now, Tabby stopped them in an isolated corner and asked the question she’d been wondering since Sunday. “You spilled to Mr. C about my mom, didn’t you? I didn’t; it’s none of his business. But as soon as she showed up and started bitching me out, it turns out Mr. C had a card up his sleeve.”       “Yes, it was me,” Lynd said. “He and I had a minute alone that night. And with what you’ve said about your mother…” he shrugged. “I wanted to show my gratitude, so I asked him to intervene on your behalf. Was I in the wrong?”       “Well, apparently it means I owe him a big favor, but what else is new?” She tried to keep her chin steady. “I was all ready to show Mom how much I’ve changed, but as soon as she walked in, I just…it’s like I was in a trance. I was all ready to just do what she said, even though I’d hate her for it, and hate myself for obeying. Because that’s just…what I’m used to. It’s the safe thing, even when it sucks ass. If Janet didn’t step in, I might have just followed Rita out the door.”       “I’m scared, man. I keep it hidden from Dad and Mel, but God, I’m scared. I’ll never really get away. Rita still owns me, way deep in here.” She pointed to her head. “And now Mr. C knows that and who knows what he’ll do with that. I thought…I’d be free here. But it’s only been two weeks and I already feel like a puppet on a string again, I’m just—”       Lynd silently drew her in for a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Next time, I won’t interfere without asking. But I don’t regret doing it. Someone who caused you so much pain…they don’t deserve you in their life.”       Tabby blushed as she buried her face in his shirt. He’d gotten all spiffed up for his first day, and she didn’t want to stain his button-down with her tears. “C’mon…‘don’t deserve?’ That’s a bit much.”       “No, it’s not.” He gently lifted her chin from his chest. “I was scared too. That first night, I thought it had all been for nothing. But you stood up for me when no one else did. And now I’m here. Do you think anyone could do that? Do you really doubt how…incredible, and wonderful a-and beautiful you are?” He took her hands in his, pressed them against his chest. His heart beat rapidly under them. “It’s my turn to help you. Whatever Florentino asks of us, we can face it together.”       She stared into his sunset-colored eyes, framed by dark, shaggy bangs. Then he kissed her.       This was the only time of day that the school building could be called ‘romantic’. 6:45 AM, freshly cleaned, still an hour before the horde arrived to yell across crowded hallways and miss the garbage cans with their wadded-up snack wrappers and sneak cigarette breaks in the bathrooms. So she took a nice long time, putting her arms around Lynd, running her fingers through his hair and playing with his necklace. After all, who knew what the future held, or if the moment would ever be so perfect again?