#hi anon i keep giving you essays I apologize

[sophfandoms53]

Anon from before, I can’t keep talking because I don’t have anything else to add expect maybe Striker got other things he cared about besides his family taken away from that terrible day too. I don’t know I don’t have any else to add sorry. 😫 Although I will ask, what do you think of the song “In My Sights”?

NOOO YOU’RE FINEEEE

It gave me like a bunch of ideas to think about and I will never turn down any Striker thoughts so thank you for that🫶

There’s already been some theories about Striker losing what would’ve been his bar based on all the cluttered stuff he has around his lair, so that’s something to think about, and it connects back to his line to Blitz in HMF about how not many imps start businesses on their own yk.

Part of my backstory for Striker that I hope to share properly soon but my anxiety hates me LMAO has to do with him losing his wife and daughter (this man is so girl-dad shaped i promise) alongside his family that day and that little idea has become an entire google doc and timeline😭 I’ve had a lot fun with it and I wanna share ittttt, especially his wife I made bc I absolutely adore her sm she’s one of my favorite OC’s I’ve made bc I designed her to be this direct contrast to Striker in like every where, even down to her name, and i just ughhhh I love her and I love them. I even have an entire fic of them already done too.

AS FOR IN MY SIGHTS WELL UH….

Spotify wrapped aboutta have my neck this year LMAOO

rt i can write an essay about how fucking good I think In My Sights is and how it absolutely captures EVERYTHING about Striker’s character and story thus far. Every time I listen to it (which is often clearly) I ALWAYS find something new to appreciate.

And omgggg Ed’s vocals make me meltttttt.

I’ve never really talked about Striker’s voice change on here before but I truly don’t mind it and I actually adjusted to Ed’s performance rather quickly. As iconic as Norman’s was, I just feel Ed fits Striker’s character a lot better and we’ve been able to see more sides of him through Ed’s performance. Ed is such a wonderful voice talent and it saddens me people don’t appreciate his Striker enough because they’re still stuck on Norman. There’s so much range in Ed’s performance and I rlly enjoy him a lot.

I was always begging to hear how Ed would sing for Striker once he took over the character bc Sweet Victory was Norman’s little song (this song is so stupid i love it so) and he ate that up so ofc I was like Ed needs to sing too duh. I already knew he could sing bc I was a Hunicast viewer and heard that man sing as Alastor. So I wondered if he could do the same given Striker’s country accent and lower tone.

SO WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW DROPPED WHEN HE HIT THOSE HIGH NOTES AT THE END OF THE SONG😭

Thoroughly impressed fr.

Just a fun little song that gives insight (lol) on our cowboy that I can dissect like every lyric of even if it’s not canon.

Although now that we got shorts coming out…. In My Sights AMV when???? Jk that probably won’t happen but i can be a little delusional during the drought okay LMAOO

[sahisan]

hurt/comfort with wanderer where his lover used to be a harbinger alongside him but came with him and was the only one who didn’t forget him when he became wanderer. she, however was very close with childe and columbina, and often misses them. she has bad days where she goes into depressive states from being away from them, and wanderer is there for her.

★ summary: wanderer x ex-harbinger!gn!reader. he comforts you after you've had another dream about your past days as harbinger.

☆ cw: sfw. fluff. hurt/comfort. cuddling. wanderer is bad at comforting (kinda). wanderer is called 'kuni'. reader's gender not specifies despite that the req has 'she/her' pronouns. mention of arlecchino x columbina (i couldn't help myself (not when i like the fatui and harbingers sm)). reader's rank at the harbingers not mentioned. 897 words.

☾ a/n: okay so. um. let me start with an apology first okay. dear anon who sent me this im extremely like EXTREMELY sorry bc this request had been sent to me ON AUGUST 7 and im like. IM SO SORRY TRULY༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ also this is inspired by wanderer's teapot lines so hehe. anyways wanderer fluff yay (i wrote this while listening to onibi series).

despite being in another room, writing some very important and very useful essay about research on inazuma's economy after the repeal of the sakoku decree, wanderer hears clear sounds of crying and sobbing.

your crying and sobbing.

and since it's already past 3am, and you should be fast asleep, he immediately senses that something is clearly wrong. sighing at the papers on the desk in front of him, he stands up, exiting the room.

he enters the bedroom only to find you curled up under the blanket on the bed, incoherently sobbing and babbling about something with a weak voice, trembling under the sheets, with occasional gasps for air and more muffled, but still loud sniffles.

wanderer frowns empathetically at the sight.

he knows what caused this state - another dream or even a nightmare of yours about your past harbinger days, about the happy days at both your and his duty, about other harbingers... he knows all of it, since he's witnessed all of this with you by his side, being equals with you still.

"[name]." he calls out, sitting down on the edge of the bed right next to your curled form.

as he gets a response of a sob echoing through the room, wanderer sighs softly again.

and you can't bring yourself to answer. not when the memories flood your mind like a waterfall - there's a waterfall of tears on your cheeks, too.

"[name], get out of there." he asks you again, hand placed on the blanket on your shoulder, providing you with as much reassurance as he can give you at the moment.

he bites back a frown as you reveal your tear soaked face, letting the blanket move to the side as you move to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling in the dark. wanderer clearly doesn't like what he's seeing.

remembering that he can, at least, comfort you in some way, he gets under the covering without any further words, draping a hand over your waist to bring your sobbing body closer and closer to him until your face is nestled flush against his chest. his other hand keeps you near by having his fingers softly going through locks of your hair on the back of your head.

you cling onto him like he's your life vest, your savior and an angel that's here purely to rescue you and help you out of your misery. wanderer almost chokes out a "hey!" as you get impossibly close, hands around him to basically melt into him - it even feels there's no air between the two of you. not like he minds it, of course.

he hears you muffling another small cry into his chest, before you exhale shakily through your mouth, sniffling quietly.

"did you dream of them again?"

"...yes."

"who was it this time?"

"columbina and- and childe." you reply, interrupted by a small hiccup as you speak. he could laugh at that but he can't bring himself to do it now, looking at your current state. he knows it's tough for you - it's always been since you both parted ways with the fatui.

"i- i miss them, kuni." you whisper shakily, and your voice sounds so weak as if you're going to break into tears again - and that's precisely what you do, clinging onto him, unsteady hands grabbing onto his clothing.

wanderer sighs deeply. "i know." he knows, he knows, he does. how couldn't he when almost every evening you start babbling about those petty banquets hosted by the harbingers to let out all the stress from the past month, literally about everything you - and he - could remember.

"do you- do you remember that banquet?" you ask quietly, sniffling a few more times, before wanderer goes silent for a moment to think.

oh.

"oh, that banquet?" he confirms thoughtfully, hearing a small, quiet chuckle from you.

"yes, that one."

"that one where signora purposefully got childe so drunk that he started flirting with columbina and almost got beaten up by arlecchino?" he laughs too after you do, realizing you're slowly but surely getting better now. "how could i forget that one?"

"oh, kuni, i know you could never.." you smile up at him, eyelashes glistening with small tears on them.

"yeah, she beat his ass just as the bastard deserved." wanderer says, his thumb coming to wipe the trails of tears on your reddened cheeks. "i almost admire her for that."

"almost?"

"almost."

that is when he earns a loud, long laughing season from you, back to seeing you smiling from ear to ear and crying now because of how hard you're laughing.

if the puppet had a heart it would be shattered into pieces by now, after witnessing all your reactions and emotions. wanderer unintentionally, subconsciously, starts laughing with you.

"sometimes i think you hate everyone in this world." you speak up after you've both calmed down a tad bit.

"why only think? i do hate everyone." he retorts with a raised eyebrow. "everyone except for you." he adds quietly, nuzzling comfortably into the crown of your head, breathing in the scent of your hair.

"what was that, kuni?" you try to look up, but his hand keeps you at place. ah, there i is - your favorite flustered wanderer is back, just as you like it.

"nothing, go to sleep." he mutters, tugging you into the blanket silently.

[whalesforhands]

This is the same anon with the truth or dare idea and I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! Got me all giggling and kicking my feet (from the quick reply AND the fic hehe) wanna say rq that I love how wholesome and cute your fics are❤️😭😭 they're healing my soul from the manga

Anyways I was thinking of something similar but with 7 minutes in heaven😗

Imagine playing 7 minutes in heaven with the trio in the classroom after class (I doubt the closets in their dorm is big enough) and stsg are both picked to go into the supply closet first, leaving reader and shoko alone. While the duo are doing god knows what in that closet, reader and shoko are just casually flirting and the longer it went on the handsier (is that even a word) she got. She couldn't really help it with the way that stocking was hugging the fat of your thighs, you can't blame her for wanting to give it a good squeeze, to which she eventually did. Reader just let out a whine of shokos name and brushed it off, though it did fluster her a little with how bold shoko is.

After the 7 minutes, stsg came out with their hair and clothes a bit disheveled (nobody questions it). Though they both had this look, lowkey glaring at shoko for getting to spend alone time with you and even getting you to let out such a cute call of her name. Cue their usual banter with shoko fighting over who gets to spend time with you and eventually everyone does get back to the game, this time reader and suguru getting paired up.

If there was anyone you'd wanna be locked in a dark closet with, it's probably suguru. He's so nice and thoughtful, always making sure you're feeling comfortable and that you're not too tensed. Though with how small the closet it, the both of you are pressed up against each other. Now usually suguru is one to keep his composure, but it's just a tad bit hard to do so when he can feel your soft breathing, and your chest pressed against his. Whenever you squirmed, he'd tell you to stay still, but the more you tried not to do something the more you couldn't help but do it😭 so now we have a fustered suguru trying to keep his hands to himself and reader who's squirming around and apologizing profusely. Eventually tho, suguru hugs reader in place to stop the squirming, tho I think he underestimated your height a little, seeing as how his arms are wrapped around your ass and not your waist, with his hands resting at the back of your thighs, and a surprised reader lets out a loud cry, which surprised suguru as much as you, and the two outside of the closet, who opened the closet door immediately after only to be greeted with the sight of your compromising position. Needless to say it took both you and suguru a while to actually look each other in the eye afterwards.

This is kinda long sry😓

this ask brings me back to 2014 creepypasta boyfriend scenario core. but it’s totally something that stsg would pull though LMFAO. and sorry, i picked the closet. a whole spacious classroom vs a tiny, dark enclosed space, which would u pick? hehe

party games are my way into your heart ii (shoko x reader, geto x gojo, gojo x reader x geto)

warnings: gets kind of spicy, 17+, third year au, i got slightly carried away writing, i am definitely showing favouritism towards geto in recent fics, gojo stans time to step up that creativity of yours and not just in porn, reader is a loser virgin

‘Party @ MY room!!! tell shoko too!! btw if u both miss it i’m eating all the pudding in the fridge!!’ - The Great Gojo Satoru

Two options were given for you to circle.

Yes or YES

Satoru had surreptitiously handed the note to you.

By that, he rolled a ball of crushed up paper towards you via the ground, past Suguru’s legs and eventually hitting your shoe as you slightly jolted from the sudden distraction from your literature review of The Tale of Genji.

He had coughed, albeit a bit loudly into his hand when you ignored it, choosing to focus on your essay, until you heard him cough even louder.

“Gojo, are you experiencing a cold?” Yaga-sensei had asked, out of concern for his student as a teacher, and out of worried annoyance because it was Gojo.

“Ahhh~ Sensei, ahem! Just feeling under the weather today!” He had coughed out, the back of his hand pressed to his forehead for melodramatic effect, leaning back and slumping down in his seat.

“You seem perfectly fine if you’re playing up such theatrics. Focus on your work.”

“Yes sir!”

You saw Suguru roll his eyes as Shoko audibly snickers at the situation.

(You smile just a little at his silliness. Maybe you will pick up his note.)

You snatch up the paper, gently unfolding it as Shoko peeks at it from beside you.

She smirked, reading the note before mouthing something to you.

“See you there.”

(Anything for Shoko.)

——

“Ugh, of course I get you.”

“Pfft, you should be proud, darling!” Gojo leaned against a huffing Geto’s shoulder, snuggling his head against him.

“I’ll be sure to show you a good time, sweetie~!” Gojo had puckered his lips, aiming to land an obnoxiously wet kiss on Geto’s cheek before his forehead was held back by the said victim’s palm.

“Save it.” Suguru grimaced, getting up.

Wrapping his arm around Suguru’s waist, Satoru lead them both to the closet, sending a wink towards you and Shoko before he slid the closet door shut.

…

…

…

“Ahnnn! Suguru you’re such a naughty boy!”

“Good god- Shut the fuck up!”

“Ooh~, I like it when you’re so mean to m- Ack!”

You heard fumbling, cursing from Suguru when he whacked his arm against something, Satoru growing strangely quiet.

You turned to Shoko, cheeks burning and embarrassment written all over your face as you tried to ignore, tried to stop your mind from imagining what was happening in there.

“Is… Is this normal for people our age…?” Your hands were pressed bashfully to your face, your shame apparent as Shoko downed another sip from her glass.

(“It’s special grape juice, don’t worry.” She had smiled, “You can have a sip, though.”)

“Totally normal if you’re as ‘active’ as those two. Haven’t seen them go a day without touching each other.”

(“Is it… Really that good?” You watch her down it. It looked kind of sweet.)

“…”

“Aren’t you curious about what it would feel like?” She paused, a devious smirk overtaking her face. “With me, of course.”

(“Try it, babe.” She had pressed the rim of the glass against your lips gently, about a single sip left inside. “Maybe you’ll like it.”)

——

Perhaps that was how you ended up in this situation.

Sitting on the ground, your thighs parted just enough for Shoko to be inbetween them, her lips pressed against your neck, her hand on your thigh as you squirmed at the feeling of her sweet tongue on your bare skin.

It felt good.

“Shoko…” Your hand comes up to her shoulder, gripping and trying to pull her closer as you felt her knee inch closer to your core.

It made you feel so… Warm and fuzzy. You can’t tell if it was the sip of alcohol you had, or maybe it was Shoko herself.

“Ah, Shoko!” You felt her bite down as your voice came out unexpectedly loudly in the form of a moan.

The closet door slammed open.

A haphazardly dressed Satoru and Suguru stepping out, almost hurriedly, causing Shoko to smirk, slowly separating from you but not without ensuring that your unbuttoned dress shirt exposed the mark she had left on you.

Satoru’s smile was tight eyes flitting between your neck and your face behind his sunglasses as Suguru kept his usual serene expression, albeit it looked a little forced.

A little angry.

“Why don’t we have our beloved (name) go next?”

——

“Suguru? I-I’m sorry I got you… I-I know you prefer Satoru so-“

“No, no.” He sounded a bit panicked, his hands pressed against the wall to prevent any ‘accidents’.

“You’re… Wonderful. I’m actually quite glad I got you.”

You perked up, your heart jumping at his words.

“R…really?”

You hear him chuckle. “Really. I’m fine with just chatting with you for the next 7 minutes.”

You hope he couldn’t tell that you were blushing.

Pressing your head against his chest, you uttered your soft thanks, feeling his hand gently stroking your head.

Your hands blindly shifted around, trying to feel for something to hold on to so that you could give Suguru some space, so that he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable touching you.

“Ah, p-please don’t move around so much.”

“S-sorry-! I’m trying to- ah!” You fell forward, your chest pressing even closer to Suguru, your thigh brushing against a certain area that causes him to freeze up.

You continue to squirm as you try to regain your balance, unknowingly rubbing against a slowly hardening-

“I’m sorry-! I’m going to hold you, okay?” You hear his hands moving away from the wall, trying to politely find purchase on your body before-

“S-Suguru…! That’s- That’s…!” His hands had unfortunately settled themselves on the globes of your ass, almost as if he had forgotten the height difference between the both of you.

“I-I’m very sorry!” His hands aimed to move up to your waist, but with your squirming, his hands only slipped further down, brushing against the skin of your exposed inner thighs as you suddenly moaned at the euphoric sensation.

(Another embarrassing sound from you…! Are you trying to kill off your social life?!)

The door is suddenly jolted open, a pouty, flustered Satoru gulping as he took in the sight.

The hem of your skirt had caught onto one of the many hangers, leaving it slightly flipped up, giving Satoru an eyeful of your panties.

Suguru’s face was bright red, his hands still on the back of your upper thigh, his grip had tightened protectively on instinct when the door was slid open, as if trying to defend you.

(It didn’t work. If anything, it added more tension to the scene.)

You were doing no better, panting and slightly sweaty, your hair a mess as you leaned against Suguru’s chest, hands wrapped around his waist.

You looked euphoric. Your eyes unfocused, the embarrassment making you cling even more onto Suguru, hiding your face in his chest.

“Get out, Satoru!” You felt Suguru’s chest rumble with displeasure, your face burning bright.

masterlist

Notes:

You and Suguru found it hard to look at each other without blushing up a storm for 3 days straight.

Shoko couldn’t stop laughing with every awkward interaction she watched between you 2.

You accidentally fell on top of him during one of the 3 days. Suguru nearly passed out.

Satoru was extremely pouty. He begged for a final round after you and Suguru got out of the closet. Just before it could land on you, Yaga had burst in, asking what all the racket was. That was the end of the party.

Satoru was refusing to cuddle with Suguru for a whole day out of pettiness.

Satoru, out of pettiness yet again, refused to talk to you civilly. You ended up cuddling with him in place of Suguru to, in his words ‘Make it even!’.

[leezlelatch]

Original Romancing anon here! I just wanted to add to the conversation that I also LOVE seeing kink portrayed in a fluid and normalized way!! Like it can just be part of the characters' sex lives, you know? Just a thing they enjoy sometimes. Some nights Copia wears panties and maybe he wants his ass ate and maybe he even wants to be topped. But it doesn't always have to be a 'scene' with someone being 'the dom' and someone being 'the sub' you know? Of course that sort of kink is great as well! But fan works so often fall into that trope that it's super refreshing to see kink written in a more "real" way 💖💖

Hi! Glad to see you back. :)

Yes, I absolutely agree. It doesn't have to be a big production. "Bottom" has unfortunately become synonymous with "submissive". And in that submissiveness, characters are portrayed as these feminized two-dimensional objects there for the "Top's" or "Dom's" pleasure.

Which we see a lot in the portrayal of Terzo for instance. You can write a character that loves to receive. You can write a character that is unapologetically queer. And as a character with not much background, but some, anyone can weave a tale exploring his sexuality, his relationships, and how they shape him as a person. But the integrity of a character is equally as important. We have learned that Terzo has a lot of internal struggle.

“He represents this frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself. But despite his wounds and his darkness, he has a sense of humour and is endearing, like most of my heroes" (Metallian 7/2015).

We have learned that he had big plans for his papacy in leading his flock toward Meliora - the pursuit of something better.

"...even in his formative years, he remained a focused man of vision, looking far into the future, always addressing his people's needs and longings to keep our church together in those turbulent, rapidly changing times" (Source).

And through performances, the unplugged tour, etc., Terzo has made himself clear as a man who looks after the underdog, who has a sense of humor, who encourages the indulgence of pleasure, particularly a certain feminine one, and is very much a complex character in his own right.

So often you see him portrayed as this bed warmer. As someone whose only purpose is to take what he's given because he's the fandom twink. I think it's a disservice to the character. Which might earn me some frowns, but...

We have four old Italian men at our disposal to craft stories around. Which you can take anywhere and do anything with. I am just of the opinion that they should be allowed to remain old Italian men (other than stories set in the past, of course). With all the complexities that the source material we do have, gives us.

I apologize for my essay lol But thank you very much for your ask. I would absolutely eat Copia's ass.

[c2-eh]

Oh my god I'm so so sorry eva. It completely slipped my mind. I was going to follow up with what I wanted. I was trying to be dramatic. Girl (gn) I'm terribly sorry. But I was going to ask you to please give me your entire versainz thesis cause oh my god "after the battles comes the reward" was such an amazing fic. I was just going to ask you not to gatekeep your versainz brain and give me all the thoughts you had about them. I'm reading to read essays. The fic was amazing. The personalities were so contrasting to each other and at the end when Charles and max see each inherent and that whole moment was so guckin spectacular. I loved the whole thing. That's all I wanted to ask. Once again really sorry for leaving you hanging like that.

<3<3

i'm so so sorry anon for leaving you hanging like that, but i was not in the right place to answer and i wanted to answer this properly!! also don't apologize so much it's fineee!! :)) i should be the one apologizing because of how long this took 😭

okay so first of all thank you so much, i'm so happy you liked the fic!! <3 i have to put it under "keep reading" because i went kinda insane with it hehe

so my versainz thesis is partly reflected in the fic. i don't think it is appreciated enough how great their relationship is after all these years – even after all the "alleged" bullshit and toxic atmosphere that was going on in toro rosso (the toxic versainz was jos and sr, no one is changing my mind). they were each others' first teammates, they kinda eased into the whole f1 world together – young and eager and trying so so hard to beat each other because that is what you do, no? they tried to prove themselves (especially in the team that would get them to RBR) and still managed to be friends, to respect each other and that stayed with them till today. they both are sons of famous fathers so the expectations and pressure was even worse (from public? NO, from their own fathers) so that is another thing to bond on. why? one understood what the other was going through and he got why the mood was swinging here and there every day, and why the mood depend on if "he" was at the race.

another thing is that i am sure carlos was max' gay awakening (max wasn't carlos' because carlos was dense and way too convinced his dad is the god (iykwim)). they might not have been bestest of friends (they still kept their distance because they did not know having friends in this sport is ok), but you can see by every single of their interactions how much they respect each other. they have very contrasting personalities as well, which is so very compelling to me. as i portrayed it in my fic, max is all "no bullshit guy" when it comes to racing and he is not afraid to be blunt and tell how things are. all while carlos is calmer and more well spoken. if we combine them, it is perfect balance. i see max as the one that is overprotective - when he talked about how carlos felt in vegas 2023? that moment is integrated into my brain forever. on the other hand, carlos is the one that is calm, stands for what's right and protects his loved ones, but does it with more grace and peace. they just fit so well, because they are the definiton of thunder (but not really) vs calm (but also not really) (but for that we would need another convo lmao).

i just think these two are the definition of "right person at the very wrong time" because they understood each other (and still do), but the time was not right – too young, too soon, so much responsibility, distraction and so on... there are SO many things that speak so loudly about these two. like, they are not even "getting back together" trope, but "finding someone you loved again and it is finally a right time". also max is soft – soft and giggly but not many know it, but carlos does. and carlos loves it, which makes max even more soft.

the fact they started together and saw each other win – carlos even was right there (literally next to max, might i add) when max won his first wdc. the hug is so personal to me to this day. they just love each other, thank uuu

i would pay good money to have these two as teammates again to see the relationship and the dynamic and how it shifted now they are older and more experienced <3

so sorry it is so long actually haha, love u anon ! sequel to that versainz fic will come in the summer!

[kaus-quietis]

Greetings, Anon! Thank you for your questions. I have to admit, even in the past, I refrained from posting reactions or speculations as BSD chapters release, but you already knew that, so I will indulge you. I'll answer each part of your ask. BSD ch113 thoughts below, manga spoilers ahead.

♠ "What was your raw reaction?" It was not a calm, quiet one, I can tell you that. No, in fact I screamed with excitement as if I was in a Roman amphitheatre and my favourite gladiator just got back up on his feet, out of sheer force of will, grinning and sweaty. My scream was the fastest way I could "verbalize" the fact that I was overjoyed to see him alive again, even if it's in the 15th century, and on top of that he seemed to be some kind of spy monk all chained up and having what seems to be a ridiculous amount of fun getting caught and discussing with Bram. This is all very in-character for him.

♠ "Was that something you expected?" Absolutely not. Yes, yes, I truly did not expect a jump back in time and this infobomb drop, despite the fact that we did get a few hints that Fedya seemed present at past events when all the other character really appeared younger than him (near the end of S4ep3, where on a rooftop Fedya says "It's not V, it's Five" and I am seriously like bruh I give up what I want to say is I need more data to work with, what am I supposed to do with this, rationally speaking?). However, we can't yet extract anything conclusive from this. Is he ageless? A time-traveler? Immortal? Does he revive? When was he born? Was he born at all or created differently somehow? Is he of BSD's world, or an external one (Beast liveaction finale anyone?)? Is this all within the Book and he's just… idk flipping the pages? Anything is possible and I refuse to spend a lot of time working with incomplete data. This is not very follower-friendly (as in, my blog is basically inactive in-between), I know and I apologize, but if after many chapters there will be something worthwile to add to my essay (with what Fukuchi said in ch113 I already have important stuff to add), under those circumstances I will consider writing an update. It's not yet time.

♠ "<Was that> something you felt different for the characterization we all made for Fyodor?" Hmm, I would hesitate to refer to a characterization "we all made" for him (I wish! T o T), because my analysis and blog are but a tiny tiny part of the fandom (I think…? I wonder about my Fedya essay's reach or influence sometimes). But let's say here we refer to one that comes close to what I tried to show in my essay. In that case, I would say that there is nothing to fear here in this chapter, but it's very understandable to have massive trust issues at this point. We went through a miserable, miserable time when the previous ones made the guy who visually memorized a full deck of used cards somehow not notice Chuuya wearing contacts and fake vampire teeth, despite knowing the vampire race since… well, the 15th century! I cannot even begin to describe what I felt reading ch111.5-112, I was beyond repulsed. Lovers of "villain" characters understand the following thing well: in most media, our fav has to lose, he has to die or disappear at some point, with rare exceptions. I, too, know this well, but that was no compelling way to solve BSD's villain threat. I still don't know how BSD will wash away that narrative stain, as I consider it, but then again one of the reasons we love this manga is that it keeps us on the edge of our seats and the most absurd yet fun turns can happen out of the blue. We can reasonably ask ourselves: ok, what is the purpose of showing Fedya's backstory now? If it's for build-up, we can already start grinning like Cheshire cats. What could possibly be next? I'm cautiously optimistic, things look in-character and good to me. Very good, in fact.

♠ "Or do you think it is later on going add some depth to his character?" Backstories are shown usually for a very clear purpose. We don't know the purpose yet, but if it's done well, then… then my whole essay could be at risk lmao (and I love this sensation). New info could add so much depth to his character, in fact, that his previously observed traits could gain new meanings, or even contradictory ones. Whichever it will be, I think it's pretty safe to bet on "his backstory will be very relevant".

♠ Bonus: even if I enjoy going "full analytical" and enter conference speech mode when asked, I am driven by strong emotions, by which I want to say – I am not immune to assassin/spy monk Fedya chained up like that and having the time of his life again. I missed seeing him entertained like that, and his current …………. visual representation in the.. uh. ..chapter, yeah, well, it's doing things to my Depeche Mode-worshipping heart.

Anyway, to conclude with some facts we know as of now:

a. Fedya and Bram are inside the Bran Castle, close to the Romanian city of Brașov, "deep in the Carpathians" although not built at high altitude itself. It's basically a fortress built between 1377-1388, with several later additions. The BSD representation of it is very accurate to how it looks today. It's near perfect, actually, I applaud.

b. Bram mentions King Matthias, and in this context that can only mean Matthias Corvinus, King of Hungary for 1458-1490. The meeting between Fedya and Bram thus happens some year during his reign, when Transylvania was still part of the Kingdom of Hungary. What is still strange to me is that I can't pinpoint Bram's exact position, as in… were his people independent? Or avoided? I feel like I need to re-read past Bram-related chapters to think about this.

c. Nevermind Bram, the things that Fukuchi says, those are the real goldmine here, but the gold is still… encrypted? I mean: Fedya made the DoA plan (more than confirmed now), and because Fukuchi asked for the condition to keep casualties under 500, Fedya respected that and we got entertained for like half of the whole BSD manga: using coin bombs for terror, for economic/political destabilization, using the vampire infection to avoid further violence, these things. The more you think about it, the more insane it gets. Since Fedya agreed to this condition, it means causing (more) deaths and violence were expendable things to him. (But imagine this: Fukuchi said "I want max. 500 deaths" and Fedya said "Yeah I can do that", now if Fukuchi would've said "I want max. 2 deaths" I really believe Fedya would've still said "Yeah I can do that". What can't he do, especially since murder for murder's sake isn't his goal?). This is in perfect harmony with his "necessary deaths only" approach so far, and much much more. There are far more implications in what Fukuchi said, which I won't type out here now. Gotta keep them and build around them for a future analysis update.

This was a rather long read, but still, I hope this satisfies your curiosities, Anon. *bows dramatically & disappears in a borderline insufferable ENTP way*

[lilibethwrites]

I agree with the other anon who said your writing was so suitable for the universe. Can you tell us how you can write him so beautifully and realistically? I also felt like i was reading the book written by George Martin unlike 95% of the fics written for Aemond. Please keep blessing us with your writing!

Thank you so much! I feel like I'm repeating myself here but your messages are all so SO lovely and I'm forever grateful for your kindness 💖 As for writing Aemond (or any character), I suggest reverse-engineering characters. In any piece of media you see him (the show, the book), look at what he does: what are his common traits, what kind of situations he often creates for himself or finds himself in, and look at how he reacts to them. Aemond is a bit unfortunate in this regard because he doesn't get as much attention and as many deep-dives into his psychology as the characters from the main ASOIAF saga get. Still, there's enough to go on. For example, our introduction to him signals a fundamental aspect about him: he's ferocious.

You'll have to keep this in mind at all times, even when you don't think his birth doesn't serve your immediate purpose (i.e. writing him in a romantic relationship). As you go through the story, try to think about this again and again. Is he giving the Strong Boys (tm) speech because he is the impulsive kind of fiery or is he the silent, methodical, grudging and vindictive sort of fiery? Did he claim Vhagar because he is easily angered and makes silly decisions or did he do it because he is intense? Let's see:

If you can add onto the crumbs of what little you're given, you'll start familiarizing yourself with him. You'll need to tear him apart and put him back together because you'll need the conclusions you will have reached when it comes to putting him in situations where he hasn't been in the source materials. And so, if you keep these crumbs in mind, even when you're writing him in circumstances where they're not immediately relevant to the context, you'll find that he'll have his own voice in your writing.

And, when it comes to placing him within your writing and within your designated circumstances, you will have already been peeking into his mind as second nature. You need that, because the most difficult habit to break when writing a fix-it or otherwise AU type of stories is forcing them into acting the way that you would like in all circumstances instead of making characters have the will of their own. Let him be angry, let him be rude, let him be scary, let things fall apart and then smash the pieces to dust, make it uncomfortable for him and everyone else. You know him by now from analyzing him, so you know he won't just swoop his lover up and fly into the sunset. You know he won't make a romantic speech like Romeo to Juliet in front of everyone. But you know he won't give up quietly, either. Make him fierce, intense, and intimidating. Let him make mistakes and suffer for them. It makes the climax all the more precious and everything feels much more organic. The rest is just drafting, editing, drafting again and editing until you lose your mind.

Thanks for the question, and apologies for the academic essay on writing for this gorgeous war criminal.

[rayatii]

Raya Recounts: a brand-new series of overly-detailed opera summaries with unsolicited commentary!

Episode 6: Pagliacci

Pagliacci (“Clowns”) is an opera in a prologue and 2 acts, by Ruggiero/Ruggero Leoncavallo (it’s never clear which is the preferred spelling of his first name, so I just decided to kill two birds with one stone). Leoncavallo remains known today as one of the top composers of the verismo style (derived from the Italian word “vero”, meaning “real”), which also include Giacomo Puccini and Pietro Mascagni. Verismo is an Italian movement from the late 19th to early 20th century that centered around writing operas that, rather than focusing on the historical and fantastical stuff that had been largely prevalent since the genesis of opera itself, tell stories about relatable characters, everyday situations, blurrier lines between “good” and “bad”, and most importantly, REAL emotions. And the opera we are looking at today is especially adamant about all this.

Pagliacci is definitely Leoncavallo’s most famous work, particularly for the aria “Vesti la giubba”, which you are very likely to hear in any piece of mainstream media as sung by a tenor in a clown costume. But more on that later, I promise. The opera itself was an absolute success when it first came out, and still remains widely performed today. Anyway, he also wrote the song “Mattinata” for the incredibly famous tenor Enrico Caruso, as well as a version of La bohème that is much, MUCH less famous than Puccini’s, but still has some banger tunes. Both are still less well-known than what we are looking at today.

Leoncavallo was inspired to write this opera after witnessing the success of Mascagni’s famous verismo work Cavalleria rusticana (hey, let me know if I should give it the Raya Recounts treatment someday??); because these two works share many similar themes (and are also quite short in general; around 75 minutes or so??), starting with the New York Met Opera in 1893, it has become something of a tradition to stage them both in the same evening. This double bill is colloquially referred to as “Cav/Pag”, and there have been lots of disputes in the opera circles on social media about which work is superior (I absolutely refuse to answer this unnecessary dilemma!! They’re both great in their own very different ways. I could probably write a whole essay about that, but this is not what we are talking about today).

The libretto was written by Leoncavallo himself for this very opera, and he claimed that it was based on an actual murder case that his father, who was a judge, presided over when he (today’s composer/librettist) was still a child; it apparently involved one Gaetano d’Alessandro who, with the help of his brother Luigi, murdered one Gaetano Scavello, a servant in the Leoncavallo household, because they were both in love with the same girl. (Read here Leoncavallo’s own account of how the opera came to be.) However, there doesn’t seem to be any other evidence of this being true. Actually, when Pagliacci became a thing, the French author Catulle Mendès sued Leoncavallo for plagiarism because he thought that the plot was similar to his own play La femme de Tabarin, BUT he had to drop the charges because someone else sued HIM for plagiarism for this very play.

This title was suggested to me by an anon ask back in early January. Whoever you are, I hope you didn’t find this too long of a wait! Because this work is shorter than those treated in the previous installments, this post will most likely be much shorter than the previous ones, not counting the obligatory unsolicited commentary.

As usual, the solo characters’ names will be bolded when introduced (and in this case, both bolded and italicized for the characters of the show-within-the-show), and I will give potentially bad Italian translations for the important numbers (damn, so much Italian in this series!).

I apologize in advance if the “keep reading” option doesn’t work; it has been failing me for this specific post, and literally pushed me on the brink of breaking down crying. I hate this hellsite.

Spoilers, of course!

The Prologue starts off with a orchestral prelude (technically in C major, but it’s pretty tonally adventurous, at least in my opinion) that features at least one musical motif that we will definitely hear later on, and at some point during it, Tonio, a baritone with really bad kyphosis (we’re in 2023, and we should normalize the fact that the term “hunchback” is considered derogatory. Thank you, @madmozarteanfelinefantasy, for making me realize that long ago) dressed in his Commedia dell’arte costume, comes in from behind the still-closed curtain and directly addresses the audience, introducing himself as the Prologue (Prologue: Si può? Si può?; “Could you? Could you?” or something like that. It’s not every day that you see an opera character breaking the 4th wall!).

He claims that the author himself is using the ways of old-fashioned performing arts in his work, which is why he sent him (the Prologue) to speak to the audience. But NOT to give out that typical speech about how they should not be alarmed because the tears and agonies that will be shown onstage are not real and blah blah blah blah blah (man, this gives me severe flashbacks to reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream back in Grade 10 English class), but rather to tell them quite passionately that the author chose to depict a real story that he was reminded of one day, that he penned it with genuine tears and sobs (are you sure it was not ambition to match/surpass Mascagni at this verismo thing?? 😏), and that all the love, hate, screams of rage and cynical laughter that will be shown onstage will be depicted as in real life, and that the performers are real people of flesh and blood who breathe the same air as the audience (man, for a debut in verismo, Leoncavallo really be fucking hammering the meaning of verismo into our brains). That being said, he calls for the show to continue, and disappears behind the curtain.

The orchestra briefly reprises the main theme of the prelude before the curtain actually opens on Act 1. We are at a village located in the Italian province of Calabria, somewhere near the town of Montalto (Leoncavallo’s childhood homeplace), on the Feast of the Assumption (well, it literally says “on the day of the feast of mid-August”, but I guess that’s what it means), sometime between 1865 and1870 (yes, all these details are indicated in the libretto and the score). We hear an out-of-tune trumpet and a bass drum in the distance, and the peasants from the village, all men, women and children, rush to see where that sound is coming from (we also hear the offstage voices of two principals, but I’m too lazy to elaborate because it’s not very important). They joyfully announce the return of “Pagliaccio” (the Italian word for “clown”, but also a relatively close equivalent of the Commedia dell’arte stock character Pierrot) and his troupe of traveling performers (Chorus: Son qua! Son qua!; “They’re here! They’re here!” It slaps so fucking hard).

Indeed, a group of people enters the stage in a cart drawn by a donkey (obviously replaced with a truck or something in most modern-ish productions) (in the libretto, the men are dressed in their respective character costumes, which they will change out of later in that scene, but nearly every production I have watched has them dressed in everyday outfits throughout the whole scene, probably for practical reasons).

You’ve got Canio, the leader of the troupe, who is the one beating the drum; Nedda, his wife, who is literally just sitting there; Beppe (actually, there is a lot of debate as to whether his name is actually Beppe or Peppe, because Peppe is what is written in the older scores and libretti, but Beppe is the spelling we usually see nowadays, so that’s the one I will be going with) who is the one leading the donkey, and Tonio, the most-likely Tired Of Life™ Ugly Designated Fool we have met earlier. Everyone cheers for Pagliaccio (Canio, that is), the prince of clowns who supposedly drives troubles away with his cheerfulness (I mean, this is rural Italy in the 19th century, obviously he is going to get a massive fan-club).

After thanking the crowd (and loudly beating his drum to stop them from interrupting him), Canio, a tenor with a significant amount of vocal maturity required (and THIS time, it does actually make more sense for this age to reflect that!!!!), announces that he and his troupe are putting up a show this evening at the twenty-third hour*, where they will see antics involving, among other things, the good Pagliaccio setting a trap and getting revenge. It’s at the twenty-third hour, do not forget!

(*Note: the actual term here is “ventitre ore”, which does translate to “the twenty-third hour”, but according to what I read, this is NOT supposed to mean “11 PM”, but is actually a timekeeping method from rural Italy way back in the days, that calculated the time based on the parts of day during which the Angelus (or “avemaria” in Italian) was recited, meaning that in this case, the show will be presented between vespers and the evening Angelus/avemaria, i.e., sometime before/at sunset. That makes much more sense than 11 PM tbh.)

Anyway, the villagers confirm that they will indeed be there at the twenty-third hour, and a bit of confirmation-repetition ensues between them and Canio. After that, Tonio goes to help Nedda off the cart, but Canio beats him to it and slaps him, telling him to fuck off (not literally, but you get what I mean). Everyone laughs at him, and Tonio internally swears revenge. A villager (who is either a baritone or a bass because his music is written in bass clef, but there is literally zero info besides that, and I have the vocal cords of a little girl so I can’t give a more precise decision) asks Canio if he wants to join them for drinks, which he accepts, and Beppe (who happens to be a tenor with much less required vocal maturity than Canio) asks to join in as well.

When Canio asks Tonio if he wants to come as well, Tonio tells them to go ahead, saying that he wants to clean the donkey. Another villager (a tenor, given his music in treble clef) jokes that Tonio wants to stay alone in order to make a pass at Nedda, but Canio does not take it very well. He warns the villagers not to play such games with him, and explains that while onstage as Pagliaccio, if he finds his wife with another man, he would simply give her a silly lecture and then calm down and probably get the crap beaten out of him or something (I’m not sure if that’s exactly what he means) and the audience laughs and cheers and all’s well that ends well, in typical Commedia dell’arte fashion. But if he were to actually find Nedda cheating on him in real life... well, the story would have a very different ending (Un tal gioco, credetemi; “Such a game, believe me”. I’m not sure if this really qualifies as an aria. Foreshadowing much??). Nedda, a soprano with a voice much more youthful and lyrical than her husband (which is kinda telling), very briefly internally expresses uneasiness of some sort. The male chorus of villagers asks him if he is really serious about this. Canio replies: “excuse me, I love my wife!” (it’s not clear to me whether he is actually answering yes or no to the question, and the different translations I have seen seem to conflict with each other.) As he says that, he kisses her on the forehead.

At this moment, we hear what is supposed to be the sound of bagpipes (tho in the score, it’s apparently meant to be represented by oboes??). According to the chorus, it’s pipers who are accompanying a gaggle of happy couples on their way to church. Sure enough, church bells start ringing vespers. After Canio reminds them yet again that the show is at the twenty-third hour, the chorus happily leaves to go to church, all while imitating the “din don” sound of the bells (Chorus: I zampognari!; “The pipers!”. In the libretto, the aforementioned pipers and couples appear onstage at one point, but I don’t think that’s necessary), while Canio and Beppe go offstage with some of the men from the village.

Nedda, left all alone onstage, expresses worry over the apparent violence in Canio’s manner, fearing that he might uncover her secret thoughts. But she brushes that off as silly, fearful dreams, and decides to focus instead on the beautiful mid-August sunshine, which fills her with life and a desire she can’t identify. She looks up at the sky, and sees a bunch of birds flying above (represented in the orchestra by high woodwinds and violins playing tremolo (meaning “trembling” in Italian; in this specific case, it’s quickly alternating two notes that are not too close to each other); she mentions their screeching). She asks herself what they are seeking, where they are going, all that. She mentions that her mother, who was a fortune-teller, understood their birdsong, and used to sing it to her when she was a child; she imitates it by trilling (i.e., alternating two notes close to each other very quickly. I myself have yet to learn this technique in singing, tho my teacher did say long ago that I would someday).

Nedda goes on to talk all about how birds fly in the sky, free like arrows, defying clouds and the sun, following a dream. Nothing can stop them, not even the wind, storms, rain, or lighting, as they fly above chasms and seas (insert that one John Cena “Are you sure about that?” meme that probably no one else rememebers bc it dates back from when Vine was still alive). Perhaps they are vainly seeking a strange land they have been dreaming of, but they are driven by a mysterious power that pushes them to fly on and on (Recitative and ballatella (probably meaning “ballad” or something like that): Stridono lassù; “They screech up there”).

At some point during Nedda’s aria, Tonio has come onstage. When Nedda finishes, she notices him. He explains that he was enraptured by her singing. She dismisses him in an amused manner and tells him to join the others at the tavern. He tells her that while he may be a deformed guy who arouses nothing but mockery and disgust, he harbors sincere dreams of love, and experiences genuine anguish whenever she passes by him disdainfully, she literally has him under her spell!

Nedda obviously does not take him seriously, and tells him that he will have time to give her this declaration of love again when they perform onstage this evening, but that he should spare himself the trouble right now. As he angrily insists that he truly wants her right now and that he will make her his, she continues to mock him and then threatens to call Canio (damn, on one hand, Tonio is definitely a massive dick who doesn’t take no for an answer, but on the other, Nedda is most likely mocking him for his physical difference, at least in great part, which is definitely quite assholish; but that also applies to everyone else in this opera). At which point Tonio attempts to force himself onto her, but she grabs Beppe’s whip (the one used for the donkey) and whacks him across his face with it. As he leaves offstage, Tonio swears on the Virgin of the Assumption that she will pay for this. Nedda calls him a snake, saying that his soul is as deformed as his body (yes, actual line in the libretto. Tonio’s characterization did NOT age well at all).

Immediately after that, someone else joins Nedda onstage. It’s Silvio, another baritone who is definitely much hunkier than the previously-seen one, and a young local from the village who happens to be Nedda’s lover. So she is indeed cheating on Canio as was feared!! Man, it’s not every day that you see the soprano cheat on a tenor with a baritone; usually it’s the other way round. Anyway, Nedda chides Silvio’s rashness in showing up at this hour of day, but he assures her that they risk nothing because Canio and Beppe are still drinking at the tavern, but even so, he was careful to sneak through a scrub he was familiar with to join her. Nedda tells him that he narrowly avoided bumping into Tonio, who just told her he loves her and attempted to force himself onto her, but that she managed to push him away with the whip.

Silvio takes pity on what happened to Nedda, and then begs her to stay with him, because once she leaves the village with the troupe at the end of the holiday, what will become of him, of his life? He tells her that if it’s true that she never loved Canio, that she hates her job and all that touring around, and if her love for him (Silvio) is not some made-up bullshit, she should run away with him tonight (Duet: Nedda! Silvio!... Decidi il mio destin; “Nedda! Silvio!... Decide my destiny”. It’s over 10 minutes long, I swear). Nedda desperately begs him not to tempt her with such a crazy idea, and says it’s best for them to part, but assures him that she cannot tear him from her heart, and that she will only live off her love for him. After they both repeat some of their respective lines at the same time in a musical fashion, Silvio accuses Nedda of not loving him anymore.

At this point, Tonio, who has appeared somewhere onstage, unseen by the lovebirds, makes his presence known to the audience by internally going “ha!! I’ve caught you, slut!” (yup, because “sgualdrina” = “slut”), before quickly leaving. Meanwhile, Nedda desperately tells Silvio that she does love him. Silvio asks her why did she bewitch him, why did she kiss him with such ardent passion if she is just going to leave him the next day? (Okay so in the libretto, the stage direction says “lovingly, trying to charm her”, but the words alone sound pretty whiny.) Nedda replies that she has forgotten nothing, that she wants to live a life of calm, peaceful love with him, and that she is completely giving herself over to him. They both decide to forget everything (presumably agreeing to run away together, I guess), and they intensely re-profess their love for each other, with Nedda asking Silvio to kiss her.

They obviously start making out after finishing the duet (well, it doesn’t actually say so in the stage directions, but it wouldn’t make much sense for them not to make out after all those repeated “kiss me!” lyrics). As they do, Tonio and Canio sneak onstage. Tonio advises Canio to walk up to them slowly to surprise them. Meanwhile, Silvio starts to take leave of Nedda, telling her to meet him here in the middle of the night. Nedda assures him that she will, and adds: “Until tonight, and I will be yours forever”. It’s when these exact words are uttered that Canio cries out, alerting Nedda of his presence, who desperately urges Silvio to flee, which he does. Nedda tries to stop Canio from chasing Silvio, but he pushes her aside and runs offstage in his pursuit. As he does, Tonio laughs cynically, and Nedda sarcastically congratulates him in a disdainful way. Tonio says just as cynically that he has done what he could, but that he hasn’t lost hope of doing better. Nedda expresses her disgust, and he responds that she doesn’t know how happy he is.

Canio returns onstage, very pissed; Silvio has managed to outrun him. He furiously asks Nedda the name of her paramour, which she absolutely refuses to give him. Canio goes as far as to threaten her with a dagger (dude, what the fuck?!!!), but Beppe comes onstage on time to stop him from doing anything, telling him that the people are leaving the church and coming to the show. Canio struggles against him, still demanding the name of Nedda’s lover. Beppe asks Tonio to restrain him, and urges everyone to get dressed for the show (dude sure has his priorities straight, even within the risk of homicide). He reassures Nedda that Canio is violent but a good person (once again, “are you sure about that?”). Most likely after Beppe and Nedda leave, Canio is still in the midst of a violent hissyfit, and Tonio tells him to keep it together for the time being, since it’s very likely that the guilty lover will attend the show and give himself away. Beppe briefly reenters to remind the two to start getting ready, and he and Tonio go offstage.

Left alone onstage, Canio absolutely despairs at the idea of having to perform while he is in such a state that he is barely able to check himself (THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE ARIA (or Arioso (i.e., a sort of bastard child between recitative and aria) in this case) THAT IS SO INCREDIBLY FAMOUS IT’S A STAPLE OF OPERA REPERTOIRE AND HAS BASICALLY BECOME A MEME IN AND OF ITSELF!!!!! Recitar!... Vesti la giubba; “Perform!... Put on the costume”. Well, “giubba” literally means “jacket”, but I’m going with the common translation for this specific context). But as he dresses up in his iconic white costume and applies the iconic white makeup onto his face, he also tells himself he must make an effort to become Pagliaccio for the time being, because the audience is paying to have a laugh, and so he must turn his tears into laughter, and laugh at his own grief (as indicated in the iconic line “Ridi, Pagliaccio” (“Laugh, clown/Pagliaccio”)) so that the audience will applaud. Man, it’s such an intensely emotional aria that it’s kinda difficult not to feel some sympathy for Canio in that moment (well, depending on who is singing), even though he has been jealous and murder-y for the most part so far. That’s verismo for you. Also, it’s not written in the libretto but most tenors finish singing this aria by sobbing loudly.

(I would like to (not so) briefly interrupt our scheduled program to talk a bit more about this aria, because it’s so fucking iconic that it has been referenced in countless movies, TV shows and commercials. For example, check out this hilarious Rice Krispies commercial (featuring a singing mother-in-law who looks at hell lot like Montserrat Caballé...). Or this absolutely wholesome Coca-Cola commercial that probably would have given this opera a happier ending. Also, for those who don’t remember, on Halloween 2021, my costume was actually Canio/Pagliaccio. Here are a couple pictures, as well as a vid I posted on TikTok. And yes, I am entirely of the opinion that “Vesti la giubba” and “The Show Must Go On” are basically the same song. And speaking of Queen and Freddie Mercury, the opening of the song “It’s A Hard Life” is directly lifted from the melody of “Ridi, Pagliaccio”. Here is a video that directly compares the two.)

Anyway, the act ends on a very sad Canio who has just single-handedly codified the Sad Clown™ trope while faced with the task of acting out something onstage that reflects his own real life. And that’s fucking painful!!!!!!

After an Intermezzo in E minor (switching to E major around midway through) that is definitely less famous than Mascagni’s (but still quite nice, and also includes at least one musical motif we have heard; the first theme also kinda reminds me of the beginning of Ravel’s Tz*gane), Act 2 opens on the exact same location as Act 1, but obviously at a later time of day. We hear the same out-of-tune trumpet and bass drum that opened Act 1. There is a little stage occupying the area (if it hasn’t already been shown in Act 1, as indicated by the libretto), and Tonio, dressed in his costume, is ushering the excited villagers to their seats. According to the chorus basses, there are kids running around (at least I think), which. Yeah, I have definitely seen that. The crowd is getting excited/impatient for the show to start, and there seems to be some squabbling over seats somewhere at one point, it’s just basic pre-show audience chaos. At least until Beppe, who is also dressed in his Commedia dell’arte costume, calls for everyone to get seated with no shouting.

Meanwhile, Silvio, who has blended into the crowd, meets Nedda, who is ALSO dressed in her Commedia dell’arte costume, as well as collecting the audience’s money. She tells him to be cautious, as Canio hasn’t seen him. Silvio reminds her (as he pays for his seat, obviously) that he will be waiting for her (so that they can elope, remember). After their exchange, the chorus repeats their pre-show audience chaos lines, with Beppe calling once for everyone to pay before getting seated, before he retreats backstage with Nedda. The audience continues to call for the show to start, until a bell rings loudly, indicating the beginning of the show, and the curtain of the stage-on-the-stage rises.

The Commedia (Play) (even indicated so in the score) has started. As the (real) orchestra plays lighthearted incidental music that heavily contrasts with the rest of the opera (believe me, it’s important), we see a little room with a table and two chairs. Colombina (played by Nedda) informs the audience that her husband, Pagliaccio, will be home late at night, and wonders where the fuck is that idiot Taddeo? Suddenly, we hear a solo violin plucking some open strings. As the orchestral strings play a soft accompaniment, we see/hear (because in the libretto he’s offstage, but in most productions he’s not, and he is strumming a lute/mandolin/something) Arlecchino (played by Beppe) serenading Colombina, singing typical serenade stuff about desperately pining for her and wanting to kiss her little mouth and asking her to open her window (Serenata (Italian word for “serenade”, obviously): O Colombina. No translation needed).

(Another pointless fun fact! Back when I was in Grade 10, way before I got into opera, my Drama class did a unit on Commedia dell’arte, and we were all asked to pick one stock character to portray and study throughout the whole unit (we were seven students). I picked Colombina, and it was so much fun.)

At this point, Taddeo (played by Tonio; basically a stock foolish servant character) comes in while carrying a basket, unseen by Colombina. He takes the opportunity to ogle her, and his comically exaggerated reaction at her beauty (at least as indicated in the score) makes the audience (of the play-within-the-play) laugh. He contemplates confessing his love for her now that her husband is away. Colombina then turns towards him, and he confirms to her that Pagliaccio is indeed away, and that he has bought the chicken that he was asked to buy (the one inside the basket he is carrying), which he presents to her by dropping on his knees. He tries to confess his love for her, but she interrupts him twice. The third time, during which he calls her pure and chaste as snow and says that he cannot forget her no matter how harsh she is with him, Arlecchino enters through the window while carrying a bottle, and then grabs him (Taddeo) by the ear and kicks his ass, earning laughter from the onstage audience. When Taddeo realizes that Arlecchino and Colombina are in love with each other, he gives them his blessing and decides to keep watch for them (man, that is literally the one thing that the “real life” situation and the show-within-a-show don’t have in common). He exits the room as the onstage audience laughs and applauds.

Arlecchino and Colombina embrace (comically, according to the score. Also, in quite a few productions, all the movements are done in a dance-like sort of way), and then they sit down to eat a dinner fixed by Colombina, complete with the bottle of wine that Arlecchino brought. After they have gobbled down some yummy food and chugged down some yummy wine, Arlecchino gives Colombina a vial of sleeping drug to slip to Pagliaccio when he comes back so that they (Arlecchino and Colombina) can run away together. But then, Taddeo bursts in (still comically), warning the two that Pagliaccio is here, and that he is very upset and knows everything. He goes off to hide away (probably inside a closet or something, like in some productions; in the 2015 Met production, he hides inside a freezer, and it’s hilarious).

As Arlecchino escapes through the window, he reminds Colombina to pour the sleeping drug into Pagliaccio’s cup. Just as Pagliaccio (played by Canio) comes onto the stage-on-the-stage, she replies: “Until tonight, and I will be yours forever”. Canio internally realizes that these were the EXACT SAME WORDS that Nedda said to the guy she was cheating on him with, and he starts to become really upset, but tries to pull himself together to continue with the play. Pagliaccio tells Colombina that he knows there was a man here, and when Colombina denies it, Pagliaccio points out that the table is set for two. Colombina claims that Taddeo was seated with her and hid himself out of fear. She reveals Taddeo, who begs Pagliaccio to believe her, claiming that Colombina is pure and that those pious lips of hers abhor lying! The onstage audience (at least, the score says it’s just the chorus tenors and basses) laughs.

Well, this is enough to push Canio over the edge; completely breaking character, he rails at the onstage audience, and violently demands once again that Nedda give him the name of her lover. Nedda tries her best to keep the performance going by calling Canio “Pagliaccio” twice, but Canio replies passionately that no, he is not Pagliaccio; he has the right to be honest, and the whiteness of his face is because of shame and his bleeding heart’s desire for revenge with blood. No, he is only the guy who foolishly took her in back when she a starving orphan in the street, and gave her a name and loved her to madness (ewww, the implications) (Arietta (or at least, Wikipedia refers to it as an arietta, i.e., a short aria): No, Pagliaccio non son; “No, I am not Pagliaccio”).

Half of the chorus women comment on how this performance seems so real that it’s making them cry, and a few chorus men tell them to shut up. Meanwhile, Silvio in the audience comments internally about how he can barely hold himself back. Canio continues with his rant, going on about how he was so blinded by this delirious passion that he had hoped that if she didn’t love him, she at least felt compassion towards him, and that with every sacrifice he made on his heart, he believed in her more than God himself. But no, he sees nothing but vice in her soul, and the only law she follows is that of her senses (wow, that was difficult to translate!). He tells her that she doesn’t deserve his pain and that he wants to crush her under his feet in his disgust. The onstage audience can’t help but applaud and shout out “Bravo!”; it’s clear that they still think it’s all just a performance (ugh, show, don’t tell, Raya!!).

Nedda (as herself) challenges him to drive her out of here this instant if he judges her unworthy of him. Canio derisively tells her that she is clever, that she would definitely take the opportunity to run off with her darling lover. But no, he will make her stay and tell him the name of her paramour. Trying to get back into character, as the orchestra reprises the lighthearted theme of the Comedy, Nedda tells him that the man who was sitting with her just now is no one but the harmless Arlecchino (it’s not actually indicated anywhere, but usually productions would have him reveal himself, which definitely makes sense).

The onstage audience starts laughing, but it quickly dispels due to Canio’s furious attitude; as the people start doubting that there is any acting going on (with some commenting on how this is some serious and dark business, and others telling them to shut up) and Silvio can barely restrain himself, Canio becomes completely enraged by Nedda’s defiance, and demands that she tell him her lover’s name, actually threatening her life. She swears in the name of her mother that she will never tell him; she may be unworthy, whatever he thinks, but she swears to God that she is NOT a coward (sorry). Beppe tells Tonio that they must leave, he’s scared (sorry again, this was the first thing I thought of), but Tonio tells him to shut up. Nedda says that her love is stronger than his disdain; she will not speak, even at the risk of death.

As the fight escalates, there is general confusion going on among the onstage audience; some villagers are restraining Silvio (to be fair, they know less than him what is going on), and Tonio is restraining Beppe the whole time. It all culminates when the basically out-of-his-mind Canio grabs a knife from the table (in some productions, Tonio even slips it in his hand!!) and stabs Nedda in front of the terrified crowd. In her dying breath, Nedda calls for Silvio, who rushes towards her, but Canio immediately figures out who he is and also stabs him to death. We hear the famous final line: “La commedia è finita!” (“The comedy is finished!”, usually shouted out rather than sung), and after a thrilling solo timpani roll buildup, the orchestra plays a bombastic reprise of the “Ridi, Pagliaccio” motif.

(Quick note on the “La commedia è finita!” line: in the libretto and the score, it is assigned to Tonio, but many performances nowadays give this line to Canio instead, sometimes while sobbing over Nedda’s dead body (like the first production I ever watched; from Ascunción in 2015). Many, many justifications have been given for the assignment of the line to either Tonio or Canio, and some productions have tried being more creative with it, from what I heard. As have some memers.)

But all this debating aside, the (REAL real-life) curtain falls on these harrowing happenings.

The end! ❤❤❤ This has been an overly-detailed opera summary with unsolicited commentary, I hope you enjoyed ;)

- Raya / rayatii

(PS: this opera’s title is often mistakenly given as I pagliacci (“The clowns”). But speaking of titles, fun fact, it was initially going to be titled Il pagliaccio (“The clown”), but the guy who initially premiered Tonio asked Leoncavallo to change it to the plural Pagliacci, in order to highlight other characters in addition Canio, particularly his own so he could steal the spotlight. I personally do find the title “Pagliacci” to be better.)

(PPS: sorry for the long post; have this bit from the Simpsons that uses “Vesti la guibba” (transposed down from E minor to B minor, however) and adds another layer of meta to the opera (couldn’t find a clip with a better quality, sorry), this tvtropes theory about Nedda’s origins (which honestly makes so much sense and adds a whole extra layer to her characterization), and a personal reflection about how real-life couples singing the parts of Canio and Nedda (such as Roberto Alagna and Aleksandra Kurzak, who have sung a handful of Pagliacci’s together these recent few years) give the opera a whole extra level of meta so that you get a husband and wife playing a husband and wife playing a husband and wife... Y’know what, there should be a movie about a husband and wife slated to sing Pagliacci together, when an affair with a stagehand or something results in disastrous consequences... AND WHAT IF THEY WERE PLAYED BY A REAL-LIFE HUSBAND AND WIFE??? - okay calm down, Raya.)

(PPPS: I have read/listened in several places about how Canio can be interpreted in various ways; sometimes, he is an absolute cinnamon roll in general, but just absolutely snaps Don José-style when it comes to Nedda’s infidelity (for example, the 2020 Vienna production with Roberto Alagna; not the interpretation I would go with, but it pleasantly surprised me); sometimes, he is portrayed as an alcoholic or something, as a way to explain his violent behavior (for example, the previously-mentioned 2015 Met production with Marcelo Álvarez; at least, it seems to be implied iirc); and sometimes, he is just portrayed as a complete sleazeball from the beginning (for example, the 2015 Salzburg production with Jonas Kaufmann, complete with sketchy tattoos. Yeah well, I didn’t actually watch that production, but I heard a bit about it). All this room for interpretation, no matter what we do or don’t agree with, is a big reason why I find opera to be such a beautiful genre. Yeah okay, this is kinda my way of making up for not referencing enough productions throughout the actual summary, but give me a break 😅)

[aficionadoenthusiast]

tsoa IS a good book, even divorced from the iliad, and its a very emotional interpretation of the relationship between achilles and patroclus. But you cant fault someone being frustrated that for a majority of people, at the very least on this site, tsoa's interpretation is THE ONLY interpretation of the relationship between achilles and patroclus, because their only knowledge of the content of the iliad is what was said in tsoa. And Miller (purposely, and its not inherently a bad thing) made a lot of changes to better fit the narrative of what tsoa was trying to say: patroclus' worth was disminished (reliable narrator... unreliable narrator... the text is still the text) to emphasize his adoration of achilles, and it was effective! But the frustration comes from the constant lack of awareness people have of the distinctions between patroclus' modern portrayal (which is not entirely Miller and tsoa's fault: hades game and now, the holding achilles play also portray achilles' and patroclus dynamic in a similar way as tsoa) and how patroclus, and achilles for that matter, are in the actual iliad.

There is also thetis, and while I am not here to judge Miller's antagonizing of thetis in her book (which again, fit the narrative), you have to admit it is a bit saddening to see thesis constantly villainized without distinction wheras thetis in the iliad, had no actual ill toward patroclus, her most defining interactions with him being her weeping with her son on the shore while hes holding patroclus' body, and her giving patroclus the nectar and ambrosia of gods to keep his body from decomposing. Her relationships with both her son and husband were also "healthier" as she embody maternal love as her narrative role in the iliad.

Lastly, I think it all just comes down to tastes: while I do appreciate the soft and dramatic, almost forbidden, yearning of tsoa, I think I would enjoy it more if it was a more casual, unquestionned kind of love, the one you dont really think about until it is violently and tragically taken from you. After all, gay relationships are as diverse as any relationships. And I feel this one lacks representation, not just for achilles and patroclus, but just in general.

I apologize for the essay, this is not meant to be an attack nor a lesson, just to offer an argument from another point of view. A plesant day or night to you

hi anon! this is the post they're talking about for anyone interested.

first off, i want to say thank you for being respectful. when i opened this ask, i was honestly expecting something way worse just based on the tsoa hate i've seen.

second, when i say tsoa hate, i'm not talking about people who are frustrated that the majority of the iliad retelling content is tsoa or the people who just didn't like the book. that's fine; everyone's entitled to their opinion, and i don't expect everyone to love the book as much as i did, and, honestly, i can understand the frustration (though i generally am only looking for tsoa stuff)

everything you said is very true, but the hate i'm talking about are the people who are straight up blaming madeline miller and tsoa for everything wrong with all modern portrayals of the iliad. i won't link any of it because i don't want people who see this to click on the links just to spread hate, but believe me when i say there is a ton of it, and most of it is full of toxic masculinity, almost none of it as tagged as hate or anti, most of it mentions achilles and/or patroclus as 'soft uwu gays', all of it tags just 'tsoa' or 'patrochilles' so anyone looking for tsoa content has to see it, and all of it hates on miller for being uneducated for bullshit reasons.

the 'soft uwu gays' is the thing that really bothers me. (look up 'soft uwu tsoa' to find some of it if you want to see what i'm talking about.) hating the book is fine! like i said, not everyone's gonna have the same opinion on the book as i did. but ignoring the whole message of the book to instead prioritize traditional ideas of masculinity, and then to act like the book is feeding into a gay stereotype by making the two of them loving partners? that is straight up homophobia and sexism.

besides, the book is a retelling. it is not gonna be the same as the iliad, and that's how it's supposed to be. the point is to offer new perspectives on old stories.

i will admit that the tsoa fans that act like it's just another version of the iliad and can be taken as a substitute for the iliad are annoying and wrong. there are indeed many differences.

(reiterating: no hate on you! you were incredibly respectful and made very good points, and i'm not trying to call out everyone who didn't like tsoa! just the ones who can't figure out how to hate respectfully or have a conversation instead of an accusation match)

for the unreliable narrator thing, that is a big deal imo. if the narrator is unreliable, there is nothing in the book you can trust. in this case, the part you can't trust is patroclus' true role in the fighting as well as the real level of badassery between the two of them. like i said in the original post, the book was purposefully written to leave out a lot of the fighting because she wanted to highlight the duality of warriors, but the soldiering side is already known from the iliad which left madeline miller to speak on the loving side of patroclus and achilles via patroclus' perspective and narration.

as for thetis, i'm not gonna lie, i have not yet read the iliad, but i have read excerpts, summaries, and i have studied it (i just lost so much credibility but it's fine), so i can't speak on her tsoa portrayal (though i will say that i have never acted like tsoa is canon iliad). what i can speak on is growing up with controlling parents. i'll just leave it at it fucking sucks. although, it would have been cool to see a supportive thetis!

thanks for the ask! and, again, most of this doesn't apply to you! you were very respectful, and you had very good points!

have a good day or whatever time it is where you are!

edit: i took out the first reference to canon relating to the iliad. see notes for more info.

[papirouge]

Lol the stories about the child sacrifice and abortion parallels plus the boy wanting and mutilating himself to be an animatronic as a trans allegory are pretty based and at least the last one seems quite likely to be based on that if the original creator was the one who came up with the idea. how in hell did people even find out he was a registered republican voter? how do you even register yourself as a voter for a particular party?? in my country, things don't work like that so I'm lost. your vote is completely confidencial so it shouldn't be possible for anyone to know such info unless someone close to him decided to spill the beans.

I think i've heard before something about the creator of fnaf being cancelled but for some reason I had the idea it was for being christian, perhaps i'm confusing him with another game creator...

like i said i only play minecraft and pokeymon, but notch, the creator of minecraft, has also had his heated gamer moments too. he said trans women aren't women, he said people who didnt believe in a straight pride parade deserved to be shot, said feminism was a social disease and called a feminist a cunt, said there was nothing wrong about white pride (then later kinda recanted by saying something like "I didnt know there were only some groups allowed to feel proud of who they are"), and something else about not giving in to mentall illness in reference to transgenderism, though later kinda apologized saying he didnt understand trans identities very well. obviously, references to his name got erased in many products and even the game itself, only visible once after you beat the ender dragon, and microsoft banned him from their events ever since.

pokemon creators havent had these type of controversies which i attribute to having a better pr team and not growing up alongside social media and decide it's a great idea to post any thought that passes through their head. theyve had some though, like with jynx believed to be a racial stereotype (supposedly though she's based on ganguro fashion and the "fat lady" of an opera) so her skin was changed from black to purple. interestingly, ludicolo is a very obvious mexican stereotype yet nobody cares lol.

i do think its kinda funny when these authors get cancelled but they stil keep them/their product around to milk it to death.

and I might or might not watch the video. ive watched some youtube essays before but never that long, so we'll see...

I mean only mentally ill people like me would be dedicated to watch a 9 hours lore video essay, so I don't blame you anon lol

I am too very confused about the registred political alignement thing but I gues that's yet another dystopian US lunacy. In my country this stuff doesn't exist neither. I heard some celebrities/influencer get flack for being Republican (Jaclyn Hill comes to mind) but I have no idea how people/haters manage to get this information. I guess they are available on public record or stuff like that.

Since FNAF has a VERY dedicated fandom, I am not surprised some fans went as far as to sleuth this info out.

That minecraft guy sounds like a legit asshole though and he deserved to be canceled idc I HATE when people make foul out of themselves for the whole world to see, and then act shook when people don't want to have anything to do with them anymore. I hope he didn't have the audacity to whine about "Mh fReeDoM oF sPeeCh" because dude was apparently saying it was ok to kill people for having disagreeing opinions🙃

On the opposite, Scott Cawthon is SUPER lowkey & private and never explicitely said anything rude or insulting. People just started hating him for being Republican and allegedly Christian (which I think nobody found actual evidence of)

And animatronic aren't allegory of trans people, it was only the B-7 story of a boy butchering himself as one. The whole FNAF story is Scott Cawthon creation. He just co-writes the book with a female author, but only him creates the lore. Animatronics are regular robot who are possessed by the spirit of dead children.

I didn't know they changed Jynx color 'o' I never thought anything about this design - I felt like she didn't even have skin, but but more like a void lmao (like these spectre type pokemon)

I roll my eyes at article defending this design à la "oooh but Sugiomori didn't want to offend anyone uwu" ok but Pokémon is now a game with an INTERNATIONAL audience. If Nintendo wants to keep making bucks out of their game, they have to adapt themselves to foreign audience. This sort of "purity complex" when it comes from japanese cultural assets coming into the West is insufferable. No culture is immune to criticism.

Ganguro started around 1996 which is the year when the first Pokémon game came out...so I highly doubt Sugimori would be already aware of this trend during the game development. Japan already had a weird thing with dark/black skin, so Jynx simply might be yet another design celebrating this brand of "quirkiness".

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Oooooh icic! That definitely makes sense now that you mention it too I’m even more curious…if you got a request for a character that was really obscure or say you had 0 interest in would you reject it? Or would you just like grit your teeth and try to write something LOL I know before you said that both your Rin and Sae fics were requests (I think apologies if I remembered wrong) and you also had some Hiori requests too and iirc those characters were all kinda uhh “new” (for lack of a better term) to your usually characters..? And esp with the itoshi “hate” neutrality since they aren’t usually characters you’d write of your own volition, like imagine if someone requested igaguri or like ego what would happen? LMAO

I’m no fic writer but I remember when I had to write essays I’d slap out the first like two paragraphs keep writing and in the end I’d always go back to rewrite the first two because the flow of my writing established itself in the latter parts LOL yeah I think beginning parts are usually less refined on the first draft. At least for me, the inspiration ends up flowing midway through when I finally have a solid idea of what I’m going for HAHA

I’m genuinely hoping we get a lot more spinoff content generally….I know some series make more spinoff content after their series ends so I hope we continue getting more bllkverse expansion soon!!! I seriously wanna know what happened in the other stratums in NEL and the first selections too

Yeahhh it’s wild I think actually there’s a French version of the Bible??? Which is why I’m like what’s the English team doing LMAO Reo getting voted for all the good ones was hilarious like even everyone in bllk is like yup bros got it all (Isagi’s comment was FOUL LMFAOOO) and igaguri being last in everything HAHAHAHA

FR!!! Im just sitting here waiting for a Karasu awakening like PLEASE man has been sitting there busting his ass carrying the team please give him a chance!!!!

Also speaking of Karasu…..ok this is gonna be kinda really random but I actually stumbled upon one of @/i-am-not-strange’s posts but FOR THE LIFE OF ME I can’t press on their profile??? Either my fingers are broken and I’m pressing on something wrong or Tumblr is just flipping out but do you have my idea what art they’re referring to in their recent post about like Karasu and Hiori swapping bodies…? I’m sure it’s not canon but I can’t lie and say I’m not intrigued LOL I would go ask them myself but whenever I try to go to their profile it either a) does nothing b) crashes??? I’ve never had this happen before (like I’m on your profile just fine) but???? Anyways…sorry for having to ask you here LMAO and no worries in advance if you don’t know it just caught my eye LOL

-Karasu anon

honestly i feel like i always cook 10x more with characters i don’t like/am unfamiliar with…maybe because it pushes me out of my comfort zone so i’m more willing to experiment?? like i think the instrument and white butterfly were probably my fav things that i wrote for my event (and honorary mention to seabird because it’s so cutesy) and both were for characters i was unfamiliar with!! lowkey i think i could go crazy with an igaguri or ego fic LMAOAO imagine an ego fic where you know him at his peak as a soccer player and watch his downfall (bonus points if you’re friends with noel noa/connected to that weird ass dynamic somehow) OR an igaguri fic that plays into his weird religious trauma of being forced to be a monk if he can’t play soccer?? mostly it’s treated as a joke but what if it was taken seriously…PLSSSS i need to STFU why did i just genuinely come up with plots for EGO and IGAGURI 😭 suffice to say i would literally write for any character no matter how obscure/how little i personally care abt them 🤩 i try not to let my biases show in my writing either and hopefully i’m successful in that!! like my itoshi neutrality doesn’t rlly manifest in the fics i’ve written for them i think!! so even if someone requested for one of my opps i wouldn’t let my distaste impact how i write/how seriously i take the story

omg that ALWAYS happens to me whenever i do essays too!! that’s why i hated high school writing when our teachers made us write our thesis first…like yes i can write a thesis for you but i can guarantee that i won’t follow it and it’ll be entirely different by the time i submit it so it follows the contents of what i actually wrote vs what i INTEND to write!!

blue lock has SUCH an expansive cast and it’s also sooo popular as a manga so just from a business/financial standpoint it would make 0 sense not to do spin-off stuff!! like i’d even read a sae spin-off of him in spain if they don’t want to go through the bllk program again and want to focus on one of the itoshis…we’ve followed rin pretty closely and know his mentality pretty well so idt he needs a spin-off but depending on how in depth the main manga goes on sae i think a spin-off of him could be fun!! or like shidou or smth…OR AN EGO ORIGIN STORY SPINOFF OMG I’D DIE FOR THAT ACTUALLY like him and young noel noa and their rivalry?? i don’t even like ego that much but i think it would be cool to see his backstory be explored like that!! also an episode anri but we know we’re never getting that sadly

FRRR why is there a french version but not english?? maybe it’s because bllk isn’t as popular here yet?? hoping that changes with season 2 though…i’m not saying jjk fanbase levels of popular because that’s when you get the crazies but def bigger than what it is rn

THEY GAVE HIORI AN AWAKENING THEY CAN GIVE KARASU ONE TOO!! especially because he was so crucial to hiori’s awakening…like come on now kaneshiro be a good author and put some parallels between mr talented but doesn’t care and mr mediocre but works hard 😒

HAHA THAT’S SO WEIRD tumblr stays tweaking 😭 i was able to go on her profile fine so maybe there’s smth going on with your app?? honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a tumblr issue because for how old this app is it’s surprisingly unusable at times 🫣 maybe it’s working for me because she’s one of my mutuals?? idk 😰 also i know the post you’re referencing but do not know what art she was talking abt…i can send her an ask abt it and then link her response in the next ask of yours i answer and hopefully that works!! if not i could also add a screenshot into my answer LMAO

[stayxlix]

Hiii! I'm so happy you decided to share your work with us. Your story is AMAZING and I hope every Stay here on Tumblr will stumble on it one day. You write so well I feel like I'm entering another world and I'm getting out only when I finish the chapter. I felt torn throughout all because I wanted to read all chapters together because it's so good I could never get tired of it, and at the same time I wanted to savour every single word and make it last as long as possible so not to end the story in 20 minutes lol

I also enjoy your playlist, and I admit I thought about your story while listening to some of the songs listed there before I knew about the playlist itself, and even though you're not obliged to listen to them, I was wondering if maybe I could suggest other songs, too? I actually stumbled on some of them by accident and some lyrics made me think about certain scenes you wrote or just about the narrative itself

I was thinking about: "Run Boy Run" by Woodkid, "Ignite" by K-391 and Alan Walker, "Into your arms" by Witt Lowry feat. Ava Max, "Towards the sun" by Rihanna, "Revolution" by the Score (but I think every single song of them could fit a dystopian/post-apocalyptic world), and "The Resistance" by Skillet (his songs may come as "too" strong, but his lyrics are really something else and his songs capture dystopian themes as well in my opinion).

You're not obliged by any means to listen to any of these songs, but I got so excited about your playlist and I wanted to provide more material, who knows if it could be of any inspiration lol 😅

Hope you're having a good day and I'm sorry for the essay 😅😅

hi anon😊you never have to say sorry for how much you write to me💕 (although i do feel the need to i apologize for the thesis i wrote you in response😂😂 )

you are more than welcome to suggest music or anything in particular that you would like to share, my inbox is always open💕 i just finished listening to the songs you recommended and i feel like i owe you a huge thank you for sending them my way, i will absolutely be going back to listen to every single one of them when i need inspiration to write (which seems to be relatively often lol). the majority of my inspo comes from music so you have no idea how much i appreciate this🤭 i really liked your recommendation by Skillet, im not familiar with them but i love the blend of male/female voices (and i think its so cool that the group includes a husband/wife duo?!??)

im so happy you decided to give my story a chance, its very sweet to say that you hope every stay will stumble upon it some day. 🥹🥹 i love this, and i can’t help but keep coming back to how you said that you feel like you’re entering another world when you start a chapter. idk i don’t really consider myself a “writer” yet (maybe some day lol) but this is something every person who writes anything at all would be absolutely moved to hear (myself included) so thank you for such kind words💕 (you also made me laugh by saying that you go between wanting to savor every word and reading it all at once because this is totally me with anything i read on this site lmao.) i appreciate you so very much anon, and i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day☺️ much love♡♡

[autimind]

I'm the anon who sent the "interesting message" and I just want to say thank you. To start, yes, I'm a cis-male living in the US (also securely aroace) When I wrote out that (admittedly messy) message I had just seen your post from 2-3 days ago and it was almost like a dam burst. Most of what I typed I hadn't really thought about before (not that I find it to be untrue; just that none of it became a conscious thought) and it put into perspective how much I could benefit from just talking about it. Your response helped, and I agree that I haven't given up yet, it just feels like I'm just flailing while most have learned to float. Ironically, one of the few things I am confident in is my determination, even if it seems like blind insistence at times (and its tendency to get me stuck on certain thoughts/ideas).

This got rambly so I'll state it again. Thank you. And, in case you're wondering, I do plan on pursuing help from a mental health professional and my rant (sorry about that by the way) helped me realize I needed it more than I thought I might.

You are quite welcome, anon. It was my pleasure.

I had to look up 'aroace' but never mind that. You apparently know your own internal config. Well done.

As a quick segue: I like to ask people what they are adding, what kind of positivity they are injecting into the future. I ask it of myself often enough. Well, my blog is one thing and one thing only: giving what I have learnt to people out there. You said it was almost lik a dam had burst. Good! At least my post reached one person that needed that message. That is why I do it. I am not a spiritual teacher by far but I do know some things. I try to think what things I would have wanted to hear, or read, at age 16 or age 20. I am very glad that my post as well as my response helped.

By all means keep flailing. It does keep you above the waterline. You will have noticed by now that flailing is excessively tiring, though. It sucks up any and all available energy. It would be wonderful if you managed to float or even swim. By the way, a message isn't 'rambly' just because it doesn't look like an A+ high school essay. You are allowed to write naturally.

You have determination in spades, apparently. So use it. Set yourself some goal and get at it. Never apologize for being in need. You may rant at me all you want. I am happy to learn that you will pursue professional help and I wish you best luck in that endaevour.

It is exceedingly hard to help someone whom you don't know. Still.. from my (volunteer) work with other autistic people, I have learnt that rebuilding self-confidence and trust is best done in tiny steps. If you keep failing then the steps are too big. Make them smaller. B.J. Fogg, in his wonderful book Tiny Habits, uses the example of someone who is convinced they need to run 10 kilometers, or some such distance. They can't. Everything is too hard. So he sets the task of at least dressing for running and putting on running shoes, then stepping outside for a minute. If that is all you can give and you give it… you have given 100%. And so on and so forth, you can safely build on your tiny successes and eventually run that distance.

Sometimes self-care is hard. I make a point of making my bed every single morning, immediately after getting up. At the very least, I have done one thing and done it well. I find it gets me in the mental mode of action, doing one thing after another. Perhaps you can decide to spend at least a couple of minutes on clean clothing and personal grooming? That is a very positive and self-caring act. It has the added benefit that it fits the expectations of society and if you do decide to go out of the house, you'll feel stronger.

Again, you are welcome. I hope you have had a chance to read my post on (probably) not being awesome.

Kind regards,

Ṭhitadhammo

[boydepartment]

It's sheep anon again! *Warning, this is a really disjointed and kinda sad sheep anon message. It's just about recent world events and thoughts that's been going on in my head. Please stay safe everyone.* I feel like there's a lot of people suffering right now with all that's going on in the world, and to be honest, I feel kind of helpless to it. There's no way for me to possibly know the amount of suffering in people's hearts and sometimes when I look at the world, it seems apathetic to people's pain.

Personally, I struggle a lot with sharing when I'm hurt irl. It's a lot easier on the internet because my struggles aren't tied to people's perception of me. The fear of rejection by people I put my trust in scares me more than anything I think. I tend to try to be perceived as perfect partly because I'm scared that they'll see how messy I actually am and leave. It actually takes me a while to write these messages because I obsessively edit and reread everything to make sure everything is perfect before sending.

I'm glad that my essay long responses can make a positive impact even if I can't do anything personally. Some of the things I write have been rewritten like a million times before but I try do my best to live up to what I write and not just write things just because other people do. I also get excited to read your responses, it reminds me that we are all connected to each other. It's amazing that people actually read what a random stranger has to say because sometimes I feel like I don't have a voice. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into creating your small corner of the internet. I'm glad you exist. <3 You can stay everyone. Virtual hugs all around the world.

(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠)⁠つ⁠⊂⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠)

-🐑

Hi my dear sheepie :)

I completely understand what you mean, it’s hard watching the world around you be really shitty and feeling helpless about it. It’s a struggle feeling really bad and not knowing what to do. I think in times like this it’s important to be extra kind to everyone, and extra patient. A lot of things are happening and that’s the least we can do for the people around us. Donating to certain charities is good as well, I know my family donates a lot :) we also used to have our own toy drive for kids but then my dad couldn’t keep making the drive across 2 states. Anyways too much JayJay lore lol what I mean is, it’s the little things around us that make the world a little better even if it seems like it’s all gone to shit lately. There is always hope, people are too stubborn to give up that hope.

I also really understand wanting to come off as perfect and terrified to put your trust in people. I feel the exact same way, I only have one person in this world who I am really assured I can trust probably for the rest of my life. Hopefully for the rest of my life, if I can find someone like that so can you. And I’m sure all of us can find multiple people like that as well. I think everyone needs a reminder that it’s okay to be wary of people, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take chances with people. If we don’t take chances we aren’t really living are we? We’re caging ourselves in.

Sheep anon I always look forward to your messages, I can promise you even if they aren’t perfect I will still love them just as much. None of us are perfect and that’s what makes us human and special. Uniqueness is so important nowadays. Being odd and out there is truly my favorite thing to be, I hated forcing myself to be just like everyone else. It’s like I mentioned earlier about caging yourself into this perfect box. It’s like that scene from Ouran high school host club

If we force ourselves into the frame, we could be missing out on something. It’s okay to be imperfect. You will always have a voice on this blog sheepie :) whether you come off of anon or not.

If my message seems a little out there I’m really sick at the moment, I have a fever while writing this and just overall feel icky in the sinuses. So I apologize if I went on a tangent or left something out. I tried my best to stay on topics lol!!!

Remember to eat and rest up when you can, I know it’s hard not getting into your own head about things. Some things are absolutely out of our control so we have to make up for it by being kind.

Can’t wait to hear from you again sheep anon ❤️

PS. Other than Felix are there any other members you lean towards? If you mentioned it before I apologize. I have the memory of a goldfish sometimes.

I usually lean towards Chan if I’m not ult biasing Felix. Chan gives me hope that good men still exist, I don’t think I’d be terrified of him if I randomly saw him in public.

Anyways! This response is already very long! Have a good day or night sheepie! Remember to be kind to yourself too❤️

[mikimagines]

Can you do more dr x child reader? I really liked the idea of it:) you don't have too If you don't wanna. Have a good day and drink some water.

Danganronpa 2 Cast Meets Child Reader! (Again)

(this is my apology for literally disappearing for 11 months..! + I was bored.) also thank you anon!

yes, this has spoilers for sdr2. + mod mikan finally posts an imagine after 11 months??

What a weird day you were having, first you ended up on this weird island, second you saw all these random kids around these islands, and a talking bear? a talking bunny? very weird / cool.

it’s not that you really cared anyways. other than all these questions that you got from everyone in the class. like, “how did you even get into here?” “what’s your talent?” “what’s with you and sandwiches?” “are you sure that you don’t need any help?” questions that you can answer, other than the “what’s your talent” question. which to answer to all of that is a sandwich slapped to their face and you running off while they wonder what just happened.

( actual answer: you sneaked in to “hope’s peak” for fun + kotoko and you thought it would be fun to see what’s in a “big kids” school for a second. ) also, your just a random elementary student who just loves likes sandwiches for some reason.

for trials, you…slept like it was nap time back when you were in preschool. sure, it would of been more sad if you genuinely knew/or cared. about these people. so let’s say if you did, (found some of them very cool, which lets be real, you probably did.) You would probably be a little bit of a help in the teruteru/byakuya case. but only really on the minor details, and not like. the “dead” body….

there was also that one time where Peko and Mahiru and it got Fuyuhiko hurt “disappeared” like Teruteru and “Byakuya”/ Imposter (basically everyone who had “died”, via Hajime trying to save you from not saying the truth until later. (which never happened because they were luckily alive at the end so he doesn’t have the say the “they ain’t coming back” talk.

for example from what hajime said to you when you asked him where did the ones who are “missing” : “Don’t worry [Name] they probably went out to go search for [People Who Are “Dead/Executed”, they will come back soon.”

“Coming Back Soon?, Missing? but aren’t they..”

“Going to take a while to come back to the island, yeah!”

“you seriously really need to say the truth to the kid…”

anyways, after the whole Peko and Mahiru going out to “search for the two also missing classmates.” you and the others came to see the injured fuyuhiko. he was acting more weirder than usually has been because he got hurt, from something. (the others didn’t explain well.)

Since he was so hurt, from something the others didn’t also explain so well, and he was facing the window, not talking to anyone. everyone decided to give him some rest and leave him alone. well other than you obviously.

you grabbed a plastic bag from your backpack full of random items and tried to give it to unresponsive fuyuhiko you guessed it! a damn sandwich. you don’t know why, but you just put it on the desk next to his bed after giving up to give it to him directly as you thought it was going to go.

and before you left the room, he said… “thanks.”

“…your welcome.”

you guys got along more after this and fuyuhikos apology during breakfast the other day.

he was more like a big brother figure to you from now on. (rip hajime.)

now then! he’s a summary of what happened next because I don’t feel like making this long enough to be an essay.

summary for the rest of chapter 3, 4, 5 of child readers journey through jabberwock island : you almost ended up getting killed by mikan for some reason, luckily you drop-kicked her before she could do anything. when you get into uh whatever that place where gundham and nekomaru (robot ver) disappear too, your backpack full of things like food sandwiches was taken by monokuma for a second…(you found it later.) post after the whole nekomaru being “missing” hajime keeps calling it, makes you wonder for a while. next island,, very explosive. nagito also goes as well for some reason and the chiaki,, eh tbh you really didn’t care at that point. you were said chiaki left. she was very nice and liked your sandwiches as well like fuyuhiko..

ah oh well. it was all just a game anyways!

wait what.

So uh, now your finally inside a school. it looks even more weirder than all of the bear dinosaurs blocking the paths to the other islands..they didn’t like your sandwiches sadly. well maybe because to tried to throw one at them to see if they would catch it like a puppy.

it’s creepy, and there is also a classroom you saw, well uh. trial time!

again, you were in the middle of sleeping. all they were talking about was almost kinda boring.

then you opened your eyes, almost instantly there were some random big girl with a flip phone of her…and random people that look like all of your “classmates” ages.

anyways blah blah blah, everyone feels down, chiaki saves the day for one last time, hope hope hope. 3d definitely not something that reminded you of all of those fashion games you would download on your family members phone goes down by that talking bunny (who you forgot exists.)

and after all the farewells. and goodbyes / see you laters.

you woken up, seeing most of the people who hajime said “disappeared”!!!!

you were happy, although you didn’t know most of them, they finally found each other, “why didn’t you guys come back tho, like hajime said?”

…hajime had a long talk with the others. with a lot of kazuichi’s “told you so” although to be honest, it’s kinda werid for the others as it’s usually hajime being the one saying “told you so.”

oh well.. what a journey…a very weird one.

I apologize for the ooc too + kinda lazy too,, I made this at 11 - 1 am in the night,, I should probably be sleeping too but it’s been a while since I posted + almost a year since the last imagine about nagito and the ghost. (This being due to my danganronpa phase fading away.) (also like my last post said, who knows, I’ll probably make another blog or make this blog into another fandom fanfic spot.)

thank you for reading anyways! :D

mod mikan.

[earlgreydream]

blindfold.

| draco x reader x Theo | smut | fluff |

anon requested. Draco, Theo and reader where it starts with a smut, but then the reader has to say the safeword and the boys are so sweet to her

a/n: I want something soft, so here’s a sweet little d x t x r blurb

“I read about it in a book,” you whispered to Draco, sitting on a table in the common room. He stood in front of you, between your legs, hands resting on your thighs.

“My naughty girl, what kinds of books are you reading?” He teased, kissing and nipping at your jaw. You giggled softly, squirming away from your boyfriend.

“I’m a good girl!” You insisted quietly, keeping your conversation private.

“I don’t know about that,” Theo spoke, walking over and setting his bag down beside you. He pecked your lips, earning an adoring smile.

“Our sweet little Y/N read about blindfolds in a novel, and suggested the idea to me,” Draco filled Theo in on your conversation, making you blush.

“Blindfolds? That’s something you want to try?” Theo asked, raising his eyebrows at you.

“I don’t know, we’d been talking about trying new things. I thought that one would be easy.”

“We can try it, sweetheart,” Theo concluded, giving you another kiss.

They dropped their things off in the prefect dorm and hurried to quidditch practice, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You slipped off of the table, walking to Draco’s dorm. You worked on a charms essay and tried not to let your mind wander too far while you waited for them to come back. The two hours felt like a lifetime, and you were relieved when they entered enthusiastically, happy to be home to you.

“How was practice?”

“It was great, everything went really well.”

The boys kissed your head before going to clean up, and you undressed while you waited for them. They returned and Draco smiled, wrapping his arms around your bare waist and kissing you deeply. You carded your fingers into his hair and moaned into the kiss, feeling him slide his tongue past your lips. The kiss was possessive, wrapping you in the feeling of being his, offering protection and safety. Theo pressed kisses along the back of your neck, lifting your hair and finding the little places that made your knees weak.

“Let’s experiment, shall we?” Theo asked, and you nodded breathlessly.

“I’m a little nervous,” you confessed as you climbed onto the bed, sitting up.

“We’ve got you, you’re entirely safe with us,” Theo reassured you, his lips brushing yours.

You settled down, reaching out to hold Theo’s forearms as Draco gently secured one of his green silk ties around your head, blindfolding you.

You had been curious to try something new, but you were now a little unsure about being unable to see what was coming, or what the boys were doing to you.

You certainly trusted them, though you were uneasy with one of your senses taken away. You jumped a bit as Draco’s fingers trailed down your spine, making him laugh.

“Be gentle, please,” you practically begged, clinging just a bit harder to Theo.

“We will, sweetheart. Draco and I aren’t going to hurt you,” Theo promised, kissing your cheek.

He lowered you to lay down on the sheets, keeping one of his hands in yours. Draco admired you, smiling as he ran his hands up the sides of your body, gently fondling you. Your back arched, pushing your chest into his touch, an action Draco appreciated.

He knelt between your legs, prying your knees apart and exposing you to them. Theo smiled, his free hand trailing between your legs and finding your clit, rubbing your sensitive skin and pulling a whine from you.

You jumped as Draco began to ease into you, quickly enough that it was one fluid motion. Theo kept moving his fingers in tight circles, kissing up the sounds you were making.

Your heart started to race, and you were feeling overwhelmed by their movements, especially when Draco’s hands returned to exploring your body. You tried to relax, but it all got to be a little much for you.

You pushed your blindfold off, gently shoving Theo off of you.

“Slytherin!” You gasped your safeword once your kiss was broken with your boyfriend.

Draco immediately eased out of you, and Theo took his hands off of your body.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Draco’s worry was written all over his face. You sat up, drawing in sharp breaths.

“Yeah, I just... I didn’t like that,” your voice trembled and Theo opened his arms.

“We never have to try it again, never.” Theo promised, kissing your head as you climbed onto his lap.

Draco agreed, squeezing your hand and kissing your shoulder. You mumbled out an apology, your cheeks pink with embarrassment over getting so upset over nothing. 

“Don’t apologize, ever. We want you to feel comfortable. Your safeword is there for you to use, love. We will never be upset with you for being honest,” Theo promised, gently grasping your jaw so you were looking at the boys. He leaned down and kissed you, feeling you relax against his arms. 

“Let’s get cleaned up, yeah?” Draco asked, earning a nod from you. 

You let your boyfriends care for you, showering with them and squealing as Draco sprayed you in the face with water.

“Draco!” you shrieked, putting your hands up and smacking his chest. 

Theo laughed, returning the showerhead to its place before turning the water off and ushering the two of you out. 

“Enough causing trouble, Malfoy,” Theo scolded lovingly as Draco tried to tickle your sides. 

“But-”

“Go be useful, get Y/N something to wear.”

Draco rolled his eyes at Theo before kissing your cheek and grabbing one of his jumpers for you. You ran your fingers over the stitching that said New York, a souvenir of one of Draco’s many trips abroad. He rolled the sleeves up so your hands were free before kissing your palms, making you smile. 

You sat on Theo’s lap in a green velvet chair, enjoying the feeling of him gently dragging a brush through your locks. You watched Draco sway to the music playing from his record stand as he changed the sheets. His silver eyes met yours, and he blew you a kiss, making you giggle. Theo’s gentle hands in your hair calmed you into feeling sleepy, and you slid off of his lap. He caught your hips and kissed the base of your spine before letting you go, following you to join Draco in bed.