#hi babes its me

[purrvaire]

black sails + tumblr text posts I have on my phone (pt.3/?)

2

[arawsuu]

Save me Astarion..

Astarion save me.,.,

Astarion...

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price guest stars on The Muppet Show (1977)

[irishyuri]

local homosexual has more game than the king of camelot

[shirecorn]

Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.

The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos

[sashisuse]

THE VOICES.

[sadisthetic]

its the hard rock life

[yuwuta]

gojo assistant to gojo househusband is EVERYTHING to me he’d be so good at it. packing up bentos before work, visiting u for a lunch break, visiting u for a shoulder and neck massage. hes just so cute. i bet that even when he gets to a househusband role he’d still do some assistant duties and he absolutely is against u getting another assistant bc he’s been that guy and he knows u are too easily fallen in love with. he’d probably only give up that role to someone that he trusts 100% and knows that won’t fall in love with you like yuuta and even then he probs gets a tiny bit irrationally jealous when yuuta knows a lot about your schedule and habits bc that’s HIS job but a lil smooch from u will have him too flustered to even remember what initially ticked him off

when he finally makes it out of the work husband territory, he’s already wildly insufferable as a boyfriend. but when he finally becomes your husband? all bets are off—if people thought satoru couldn’t be louder or prouder of you they were so, so very wrong. he was born for this. 

sends you off with a bento and a kiss every single morning, and then calls you right before lunch time to remind you to actually take your lunch break and eat—and maybe because he wants compliments on the food he made you. when he can’t send you off with lunch, he has yuuta deliver it for you, or he drops it off himself, which is always a welcome surprise, not just for you, but everybody in the office. it’s nice that he’s remembered so fondly, and some days he does miss it, but he wouldn’t trade in being your husband for the world. 

so true about yuuta being his replacement—satoru was very, very thorough in the vetting process of hiring your new secretary. he knows how easy it is to fall in love you, he knows what it’s like to be the work husband and he refuses to hire anybody else who might think even slightly like him. so, call it nepotism or call it favoritism, but yuuta is one of maybe three people satoru actually trusts with the job. turns out yuuta is best suited for it anyway, which brings satoru even more relief. on the days he really misses you, it makes him pout when you recount all the times yuuta saved your ass, but a kiss or two really is he needs to be brought back to reality. 

he’s always calling or texting you with paint samples or fabric samples, and you’ve learned to not try and make sense of satoru’s interior design priorities. you really don’t think that the guest bathroom needs new wallpaper, but he does and if he wants to install it, who are you to stop him. so many days you come home from work and he’s like, “oh, babe, my mom called in a friend of a friend and turns out her husband can make us our own version of that vintage couch you saw in the museum display last week,” which is. absolutely insane because that’s easily a $25,000 couch, but he just waves you off about it and asks you what color you want it in—he’ll handle everything else. 

[periprose]

sydney is too young for carmy. its grooming tbh very weird of carm to look at syd that way when she's his mentee and looks up to him. disgusting that creeps like u ship it

We don't have a canon age for Sydney or Carmy so I'm going off their actors' ages.

A four year difference is too much for you?? Lol. This isn't grooming and realistically most relationships can have this dynamic. Anon I invite you to the real world where rarely you will find people who date are on the exact same level (please don't come at me with this "power imbalance" shit too lol)

Also if you think I'm a creep I don't really care. Being an adult means I can do what I want without caring about randoms on the internet think of me.

A lot of you also use purity culture/false virtuosity to bully people, too; don't think I don't notice how you're subtly trying to equate this to actual pedophilia. Genuinely, you do a disservice to actual issues when you pull this shit.

[mortiskiller]

Reason#128462 I am in love with being a feedist.

It's so exciting to cook dinner for me and my girlfriend! Getting off work to head to the grocery store for the meal I have planned. Feeling my plumping gut and thighs rub against my clothes as I whistle down the aisles.

Looking at ingredients as I gently rub my belly, smiling from the warmth spreading throughout my body. Hmmmm... Cooking a nice big meal for her to encourage me to eat. "Are you going to eat a lot for Mama? Get big and round for me? Mama loves it when you whine from being full as I ride you."

Walking home in the cool night the few blocks to our house. Lay out the ingredients, take my clothes off, pop and edible, and listen to music while I cook.

Watching my under belly kiss the counter as I chop veggies. Feeling my hips shake as I dance around. Texting her to get home quick, dinners hot and ready!

Feedism just permeates so many parts of life in ways that just make me wildly happy.

Thanks @ihatemakingusernames for making me the happiest and fattest I have been in years 😍

[babe-heffron]

one fascinating thing i've noticed reading these memoirs is the tension between patriotic duty so to speak and recognising that war is really bad and no one should have to fight or die like that

[crustyfloor]

Calm down...

[shyyy-kitten]

I accidentally took a nap in this makeup, but it's still cute 😝

[temscraft]

to me the appeal of labru is kabru has to stop playing five dimensional chess in his head and actually communicate with laios

[armandyke]

I read A Botanical Daughter and it changed me profoundly as a person. Sometimes family is an evil scientist, an autistic dandy, a lesbian in a waistcoat, and a fungus 🩷🌺

[moeblob]

I changed my mind, you guys can take the doodle page of OCs on main.

A villain, his wife, and their daughter. There is so much info I could ramble about them but I think the biggest thing to know is I got so angry at someone acting like a wife holding a husband responsible for things he said is a reason to not get married. And I decided in my spiteful rage at the spousal hate for no reason... what if there was a husband who loved his wife and the fact she held him responsible? They're just super in love and she's willing to be the memory bank and he appreciates her so much.

So here's a family that loves each other a whole lot because I got mad at a tacky "i hate my spouse" meme.