#hi guys so um i finished the logan patton fic

[blazethecheeto]

let it out and let it go

Summary: Logan is angry. Logan has been angry for a long, long time. When things get worse, Patton steps in to help.

Words: 3,937

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdowns, Implied/Referenced Self Harm

|| ao3 link ||

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i am so, so angry, but it is caged.

can you blame me for taking a knife and hoping that if i cut long enough, deep enough, it will finally find a way to leave?

-

The argument is as familiar as the sun setting. Roman’s yelling about Logan cutting out ‘karaoke night’ from Thomas’s schedule, and Logan’s trying to address how little time they have left to finish their next commitment. There’s overlapping voices, there’s lots of swearing, and Patton’s about to step in to break up the fight when someone else does. 

“–So suddenly having a bit of fun is irrelevant in our schedule now?” Roman motions to Thomas’s general direction. 

Logan scoffs. “Having a ‘bit of fun’ is not the priority. Thomas needs to finish his work, the work he promised to get done by tonight. Then, and only then, can he fulfill other frivolous matters like karaoke.”

"Can't you see, Logan?" Roman gestures emphatically towards Thomas. "He needs a break, a moment of respite from the constant labour you put him through! He's not a machine . "

Unlike you.

The unspoken words linger for a brief, horrible moment between them, and Patton presses his hands together, cracking his knuckles nervously as he watches Logan’s face. He merely closes his eyes, clenching his jaw, before speaking again.

“We cannot afford any distractions tonight. He needs to take some responsibility for once .”

“Excuse me, he needs this, not only to improve his voice for tomorrow’s rehearsal, but to spend time with his friends.” Roman’s voice drops, becomes gritty and mean. “But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? You don’t have any .” 

The silence in the room seems to swallow the rest of the tension. Roman’s hand flies to his mouth, but the damage is done. The glass cracks. The stone drops. Patton’s eyes dart to Logan. He grinds his teeth together, and he can see the glare in his glasses flash a shade of deep orange. No . 

“Logan, I– I’m sorry–” Roman says first, his words choppy and hesitant, like he is trying to calm an unleashed beast. 

“Sorry? Oh, you’re fucking sorry. Now I’ll just sink out and let you have your way, right?” He says, his voice overlapping with a familiar wrath, his shadow on the stairs behind him growing and growing. 

Virgil appears, almost suddenly, scaring Patton out of his wits. He thought he had grown used to it by now, but it seems like he hasn’t grown used to anything. 

“What the hell is going on?” Virgil’s voice is multiplied, his eyes darting back and forth between the three Sides. 

“Roman said I don’t have any friends!” Logan’s words are clipped, almost in a sing-song voice. Like something had taken control, and none of them wanted to say it. “Interesting isn’t it, how you team up with me when it’s convenient, then lash out when I dare to contradict your egotistical views.”

He took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself. The shadow crawling up behind Logan, waiting to strike. Virgil’s face goes pale once he sees it.

“Logan, of course you have friends, don’t listen to his bullshit. You’re better than him.” Virgil growls, his voice low and masking his terror, and Patton has a feeling he isn’t talking about Roman anymore.

“Do you think I’m angry about not forming interpersonal bonds? That despite it all, I am not a true part of this family?” He presses his hands against his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m not, I’m not .”

His voice distorts with every repetition, and Thomas and Roman exchange a desperate look. Virgil bites his tongue, cursing under his breath. 

Patton hesitates, then reaches out to him.

“Lo–”

He whips his head to Patton, and in that moment, his stomach drops with certainty. They had lost him. “ Fuck. You. Patton . You think you know what’s right and wrong, what’s good and evil?”

The figure laughs, his hair messy and his tie askew. He turns to face Roman, his grin tiger-sharp and his anger radiating off of his skin. “You don’t know true justice.” 

Virgil closes his eyes. Thomas backs away. Roman screams.

The figure pounces.

-

Logan isn’t quite sure what’s in his mind and what’s real until after he regains control. 

He remembers the feeling of skin in his hands, of flesh as it gets ripped off, of slaps and punches and screaming until his throat is raw. He remembers Patton holding him back, his blue eyes meeting him in one breath of air before he is drowning again. 

He is drowning in the orange haze, buried underneath years of repressed pain and ignorance. He feels as if he cannot breathe. He feels like he might die under the haze, underneath the blur of violence and horrid sounds he cannot control. He cries out for Patton, for Thomas, for Virgil. They don’t come. 

When everything subsides, he is in his room again, his hands tied down to the bed. His tie is askew, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, but he is physically alright. Of course I am, he reminds himself. He is nothing more than a figment of Thomas’s imagination. Even the damage dealt to the others will heal. He swears he can feel blood dripping from his hands, but when he looks, they are pale and dry.

A thorn twists inside him, but he knows they tied him up for his own good. With one grunt, Logan yanks the restraints off and sits up, the silence overwhelming. 

He sits and breathes in the smoke. His bed is made, smoothed and pressed as if it does not know anger. It does not know unrest, and never had one wrinkle in its navy-blue duvet. 

Logan knows better. 

He gets up, finally. He looks at himself in the mirror, at his tired eyes. He barely remembers what they were fighting about. God, Logan doesn’t even remember why he attacked Roman like that.

“Lies…” A familiar, vengeful voice whispers in his ear, but he flinches and turns away. “He was never your friend.”

Logan doesn’t care. He finds he doesn’t care whether they have hated him since he appeared in Thomas’s mind, a smudge of blue, data and information streaming through his eyes, his hands, his head, his soul. That was all he was supposed to be. Why couldn’t he stay like that?

He doesn’t know what he is doing wrong. He’s tried to push down any hint of frustration. He’s repressed his hatred, and any other semblance of emotion. The small jabs towards his appearance, towards his personality. How Thomas seemed to turn to Roman, Patton, even Janus now, for advice, while he clutches his papers to his chest, burning with an anger the algorithm never meant for him. He’s tried to fight him for so long. 

It never seems to work.

Logan remembers how he had resorted to drastic measures, hurting himself to quiet the voice, to release chemicals that made his soul twist inside out, pain in every fingerprint left on those cold, sticky, knives. He can still see them now, out of the corner of his eye, stuffed into the bin along with all the plans he made with Thomas on rare good days. 

“You can’t escape me unless you hurt them. Because you hate them, don’t you?” The voice hisses, norepinephrine flooding through his body. “The only way to stop it is to tear them apart.”

He shakes his head. “That can’t be the only solution.”

Without warning, the knife twists deep into his chest as he remembers what he did to them, what he screamed, what he felt when he lost control. The venom in his voice burns in his own lips. Logan hates it, hates his own hatred, hates that he can feel bile crawling its way up the very back of his throat, scalding the corners of his eyes.

He feels like a forest fire. Burning away, absolutely out of control.

“You wanted them to die. Admit it, it wasn’t just me. You wanted them to continue screaming. For them to never stop. You want to make them see you, not have their gazes glaze over you, no, but for them to listen. You hope they will burn till the end of time, and you will get to watch, conscious as they relive the pain they put you through for thirty-five long years.”

Logan presses his hands down on the dresser, looking away from his reflection. He was right. Of course he was right. Those were his darkest thoughts, the ones he saved for when he was in a dark room, his head bowed, hot tears running down his cheeks as he took deep breaths to stifle his pain. But he would never carry out those thoughts. He can’t keep hurting them like this, even if the results weren’t permanent. They were permanent to his soul, to Thomas’s soul.

He glances back at his reflection. For a moment, he sees himself with jagged claws and ripping teeth, eyes alight with rotten wrathfulness. Logan doesn’t look away, only grips the dresser tighter. A trick of the light, he tells himself, as that is the most logical solution. He blinks once. The image is gone. 

“This needs to stop,” he says softly, quietly, like if he said it any louder, someone would clap a gag around his mouth and drag him underneath the waves again. 

This needs to stop. 

-

Patton knocks first.

He knows he hasn’t always been good at that.

“Logan? I just wanted to come check in on you kiddo, can I come in?” He says, his head gently pressing against Logan’s bedroom door. It’s wooden and cold, a perfectly straight rectangle, with the exception of a blue splotch on the door handle. A sparkling star that is slowly fading, covered by the new coat of dull paint.

Patton remembers when Roman used to bug Logan to decorate his door just a little, to make their Mindscape look more like a ‘Homescape’. When he gave in, they had both decked out his door with glitter, planet stickers, courtesy of Patton, plastered against the wood, and swirling computer code written on the sides. Logan hadn’t liked it at first. He thought it was too distracting, meaningless, and ugly to look at. That had really hit Roman’s nerves, and they had one of their many fights. 

He screamed about how Logan never appreciated the beauty in anything, while Logan argued he didn’t want his door so fully drenched in sparkle, while Patton stood in the middle. After they had enough, storming off in opposite directions, Patton was the one to find Roman and convince him to apologize. 

In the end, Logan agreed to let one star sticker stay on his door handle, because he did appreciate the thought. Roman sprinkled extra glitter on that one, to ‘shine bright in his darkest days’, he had said with a smile.

Now, Patton swallows as he looks down at the sticker, covered by years of hatred. He can’t let that be his last fond memory of them before…before–

Logan opens the door. His hair is gelled back, tie tucked into his shirt, his collar smoothened. Patton wants to cry when he sees the dullness in his eyes, the slight tremble in his hands when they lean against the door. 

“Are you okay?”

“I am alright, of course I am. Thank you for the measures you took to ensure I did not hurt anyone.” He hesitated, then added, “I didn’t…hurt anyone, did I?”

Patton closes his eyes, remembering how he tore at Roman like a rabid dog– well not him , exactly, but it didn’t make things easier when it was Logan’s body. Thomas was horrified, so Janus took the reins and removed the memory from his brain, before taking control of the situation with a swift hand and a grave look. 

“Kinda? You hurt Roman, but it’s all impermanent. Jan stepped in before things got too bad.” When Logan sighs, turning away from him, he quickly adds, “I am sorry I had to tie you down like that, it’s not your fault–”

“I know. It is partly mine, though. I am more susceptible to his …attacks, because of this.” He motions to his general person, the dullness in his eyes quickly breaking into a vulnerable one. “I am going to hurt you one day, and it will be real.”

Patton’s hand instinctively reaches for Logan’s hand, but he stops himself, pulling his arm back. Boundaries, Pat. “Do you need help?”

Logan looks at him as if he had sprouted three horns, like he had just asked him a trick question, like when Patton had snapped at him to stop talking, a long long time ago. But then he looks down at his hands, taking a long breath. 

“I don’t know what to do,” he says very quietly, so quietly Patton isn’t sure he even said it. But then he looks up at him again and lets him in his room. 

He steps in tentatively, looking around. Papers and calendars are stacked in towers, sticky notes crumpled on the floor, and a dull white desk is shoved in the corner. Then he sees the knives. As the door clicks behind them, Patton turns back to Logan, pressing his hands together again. 

He wants to scold him for not telling him about this sooner. He wants to wrap him into his arms and whisper reassurance that everything will be okay. He wants to fall to his knees and apologize for leading him to this point. He does none of those things. 

“I’m sorry,” he starts, and winces. Patton has found himself saying those two words too often lately. “I’m so sorry for everything, Logan. You needed help, and we just…brushed you aside. We thought you would hold all of us up as we dealt with our problems, but we were never there for you.”

“I know you are,” Logan says, but his voice is still leashed, like he is trying to hold back his true emotions on the matter. “It frustrates me that I can’t control myself lately. I’ve always been…so good at it.”

This , Patton thinks, this he gets. The puzzle pieces fit together, not symmetrically, but like a broken mug, holding each other up after being shattered. He can see the loneliness and the isolation of feelings unsaid.

“I think I know the feeling,” he laughs sadly, his knuckles flexing as he speaks. “You tell everyone you’re fine, that the heartache and bitterness will stay inside you like blood because it’s where it belongs. You think it will just go away if it stays there long enough.”

Logan nods, his eyes so painfully hopeful. “Does it?”

Patton shakes his head, feeling tears press in the back of his throat when he sees Logan’s expression. The knives they hold look identical in the light. “No. You’re– you’re suffocating those feelings, burying them deeper and deeper until they kill you. You made a grave within yourself and locked the casket. You can’t keep repressing…you taught me that.”

Logan clenches his fists. “Then what do I do? The other option is purely destruction, and I can’t– I won’t hurt anyone.”

“I’m not asking you to. You can’t lock away your emotions, or they will eat away at you until there’s nothing left, kiddo.”

He sees his gaze twitch to the knives in the corner, and Patton shakes his head. He knows. The blades were meant to silence, and maybe it did, for a short period of time, but in the end, there is no relief, only guilt, only grief. 

“Blood does not quiet the pain, no matter how many times you spill it,” Patton says quietly. 

“I just want to make it stop. But I don’t want to give into that rage.”

“It’s the only way. You need to get it all out now, so that there’s less there when he tries to take the reins. He won’t have that ammo.”

Logan shakes his head, blinking back tears that involuntarily sprung to his eyes. “I’ve carefully maintained myself for so long, and now you’re telling me to just…give in? So what, the rage wins?”

“It’s okay to feel rage. You’re not giving into anything. You need to feel it, feel it in all its ugliness, and then let it out so you can let it go .” Patton explains vehemently, but Logan just shakes his head again, pinching the bridge of his nose, his glasses sliding up on his face. 

“I can’t.” 

The illusion of stability is cracking between both of them, a mirror breaking beneath their feet. Patton is scared no one will be left to gather the remains. 

“I–” Logan stops at this, running a shaky hand through his hair, his eyes wet and blurry and devastating. “I don’t want to lose control.”

Patton sees him. He understands him. He sees his own terrified reflection in Logan’s glasses as he crosses his arms as if he could fold in on himself until he disappears. 

“Please.” He moves towards him, towards his folded body, and slowly places his soft hands on his shoulders. “You need to.”

Logan meets his eyes, his arms trembling as he uncrosses them. Finally, finally , he pushes Patton aside, as if he doesn’t want to hurt him. The anger burns in his eyes, but not flaming orange. No, this anger was deep, sad, blue. He takes a deep breath, turning away. He clenches and unclenches his fists. He stares at the bin of broken promises and sharp, temporary relief. 

Then, he screams.

-

Logan doesn’t want Patton to be there at first. 

He doesn’t want him to see his breakdown, the emotion more than he’s ever shown any of the Sides. He hasn’t even shown himself this level of vulnerability. 

“I hate you. I fucking hate you! ” He screams again, punching a pillow, his voice choked and raw. He doesn’t know whether it's aimed at Roman, Virgil, Thomas, or him.

He picks up the bin, the bin filled to the brim with schedules and lists Thomas promised to do. With a strangled cry, he throws it at the bedroom dresser. The mirror shatters, leaving him alone with thousands of glinting silver eyes staring up at him from the floor.

He wonders whether he has become nothing but an echo of himself, leaving behind ash and rage. It burns in his eyes, through his heart and legs and chest. He smashes and screams and hits and cries. But this, this is Logan’s pain. Not his , not Thomas’s. 

Logan’s .

He takes a textbook and throws it against the wall, the noise loud and disruptive. He hates it almost as much as he hates everything right now. The emotion is overwhelming, god , it’s so, so overwhelming. His hands tremble as he punches the wall.

“I– I wanna kill you all.” He sobs. “Do you have any fucking idea how you made me feel? How you made me feel for years ? I was nothing to you. I did everything for you. I just wanted you to listen to me.”

He grips his hair, his eyes closed tightly as he sinks to his knees. He can’t see Patton anymore, only the blurry image of his bed, of furniture trashed around him, of sticky notes ripped apart like snowflakes plastered to his skin. 

“I just– I just wanted you to listen.” 

He cries for hours, or minutes, or seconds, but Logan can’t tell. He just knows he stays pressed against his bed, his head buried in his knees for a long time. He’s so, so angry. 

Then, after an eternity, he feels Patton sit down next to him. His presence is comforting, until he realizes he had seen his entire meltdown. Logan wants to cry again. Instinctively he tries to wipe his tears away, but he remembers. 

Let it out, and let it go.

He lets the tears fall.

Loneliness had always been his crutch, a grave and an embrace that kept him company, tucked away behind numbers and data. Patton was right. It did feel like he had broken out of his casket. Losing control wasn’t so bad when it was his own anger– and he realizes with a start, that he hadn’t heard his voice the entire time he was breaking down. 

He finally raises his head, the unbearable weight that he had been carrying for years suddenly lighter. Patton is watching him closely, but with understanding, rather than malice. Logan is startled to see tears in his eyes too. He wipes his face, feeling his heartbeat slow, and his breathing grow steadier. After another silence, he asks seemingly no one, his face turned to the mess in front of them. 

“Does it ever get better?”

There’s a beat of silence.

Patton’s face looks rueful, his gold frames sparkling in the shadows of Logan’s room. He feels an overwhelming swell of gratitude for the man sitting beside him, who had witnessed him at his worst, who hadn’t touched him or tried any sweet words, which would have made his skin crawl with fury. 

Instead, he looks down at his hands, cracking his knuckles. “I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out myself.”

Logan knows. He knew, he has known that they were all falling apart. Thomas was heading down a horrible path, and he didn’t know whether he could keep him out for another month, even with letting go of all of his own pent-up anger. And yet…

“We’ll find out together.”

The words pass over his lips, determined. Patton turns to him, his eyes wide. It morphs into a small smile, and he pushes himself up, standing above him. 

“Yeah. We will.” 

There’s one more thing though…the thorn is still twisting at his side. Logan remembers how he had screamed so hatefully, how he genuinely wished Roman was dead. He never wants to feel like that again, but for that to happen, he needed closure.

“I need to apologize to Roman. And Virgil…I think I gave them both a scare.” He chuckles, his brow furrowing in worry. 

“You don’t owe it to them,” Patton tilts his head, but Logan can see that he was hoping he would say that. 

“I do. I’ve been too angry at Roman for a long, long time. I think I’ve just been repressing it. I don’t want to hurt him again.”

Patton nods once, outstretching his hand to Logan. “Come on then, we won’t let that happen.” 

He allows one smile to pass his face, taking a look backward at his room. The smashed furniture, ripped books, and tears staining his sheets, chains hanging off the bed frame. He knows that everything will be perfect the next time he enters. It always is. 

But he isn’t. He never has been. As he looks back at Patton and his hand outstretched, it almost feels like a sincere apology. It almost feels like a fresh start. 

He exhales, smoothing his hair back. “Thank you, Patton.”

Patton’s eyes are a deep ocean of possibilities and sunlight. He smiles, like they had just fit two puzzle pieces together, not perfectly, never perfectly, but like a broken promise, holding each other up after being shattered. “Anytime.”

Logan knows the problem isn’t going away, if it ever does. But as he steps closer to the doorknob, his hand waving over the paint and letting the blue star glow, he knows that for once, he might be able to let it out and let it go, one day at a time. 

[lilfellasblog]

Tolerable

Summary: Virgil's been accepted by Thomas and the famILY, even after they found out his secret. But will this be too much for them to handle? Or: Virgil has endometriosis, thinks he has to hide it, and that works out as well for him as you think it will.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience.

TW: Past bullying and harassment mentioned, endometriosis, menstruation, this is a sick!fic, painful cramps, unsympathetic dark sides.

Word Count: 2351

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Virgil groaned and curled into himself. Not for the first time, he cursed the Mindscape’s sick sense of humor for not only making him the only trans Side, but also for giving him the period from hell. After researching his symptoms and checking in the Subconscious (he tried not to think about how he could see everything in there), he had discovered he had endometriosis. It certainly explained what he’d been experiencing. He didn’t even want to think about the number of tampons and pads he burned through. Alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen could only take the edge off so much. The websites he visited suggested some, ahem, all-natural pain remedies, but Virgil was the opposite of in the mood when he was on his period. He felt tired and dizzy and light-headed and nauseous, and he always seemed to get migraines at the same time of his period because apparently God hated him personally.

He ground a fist into his lower abdomen during a particularly painful cramp that felt like his internal organs were ripping each other in half, and kept it there until the pain subsided somewhat. He wasn’t sure why, but pressing his knuckles into the spot where he felt the most pain seemed to help lessen the severity of that particular wave.

Virgil sighed, trying to figure out if he wanted to ask the others for help. He was exhausted, having dealt with this for a day already on his own. They’d all accepted him, including Thomas (thank fuck), but he didn’t know if they wanted to deal with everything that came with him being a trans guy. Yet, now that they knew, even though he’s dealt with this on his own before, being alone feels even harder.

What if they’re grossed out? They weren’t grossed out by me being trans, they seemed sad whenever I had even asked, but this is… yeah. I don’t know, I don’t want to push it. Just as he finished that thought, an excruciating pain ripped through him. He bit his knuckle and held his breath to keep from crying out.

“Virgil? You okay in there buddy? You missed breakfast, so I brought some up if you want any,” Patton offered through the door.

Virgil had to breathe through his nose to battle his nausea at the thought of breakfast food. “Thanks Pat. I’m good, just not feeling too well. I’ll be fine in a bit.” It’ll be manageable in a few days.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry to hear that! Is there anything I can do? Would soup help?”

Actually… “Yeah, I think I might be able to handle soup.”

“One bowl of soup, coming right up!”

“Thanks Pat.”

“Anytime!”

Despite his pain, Virgil smiled fondly. He’s too good for me. Before, if he’d shown any indication that he was on his period, the consequences would be more pain, some kind of humiliation, and a nightmare sequence courtesy of Remus that always lasted so long he’d bleed over.

Virgil rode out the waves of pain, unable to concentrate enough to follow Buzzfeed Unsolved, until Patton knocked on his door again.

“Virge? I have your soup,” Patton called quietly.

“Alri-” Virgil’s voice cut off as he was bowled over by a powerful tearing sensation that left him seeing stars.

“Virgil? You okay in there? Are you hurt?” Patton called, much more loudly this time.

Shitshitshit, I can’t let him see me, he’ll know I’m in pain and he’ll ask why and then I’ll have to tell him.

“I’m worried you’re hurt or unconscious, can you answer me?”

Virgil took a few deep breaths. “I’m here,” he croaked out.

“Oh honey, you sound like you’re in so much pain! Are you okay?!”

Since he wasn’t holding his breath, a pained keen left him against his will.

“I’m coming in.”

Fuck.

Virgil tried to uncurl his body, but he couldn’t find the willpower to counter the pain. As soon as Patton caught sight of him, he quickly set the bowl of soup (with crackers and cheese, Virgil noticed) on the nightstand and rushed over.

“It’s okay, I’m here. What’s wrong? You look and sound like you’re in so much pain!”

The worst of it passed, and Virgil managed to relax his body a bit. “I’m okay, I’m… kind of used to it.”

Patton’s expression darkened. “Did they hurt you again?” he asked, voice nearly a growl.

“No, nothing like that!” Virgil quickly promised. Patton sagged in relief.

“Thank goodness.” Patton frowned. “This has happened before? Do you have a stomach bug?”

Virgil thought about lying for a brief moment, but was too scared of accidentally summoning Janus to risk it. “No…”

He cursed when Patton’s puppy dog eyes came in full-force. “Is it something bad?”

Just as Virgil was about to hedge around the answer, he felt a telltale dampness. “Uh, nothing dangerous for us since we’re Sides, but I do need to go to the bathroom.”

Patton immediately scooted aside. “Okay! I’ll be here when you get back,” he reassured.

Shit. “Thanks.”

Virgil uncurled himself from his position on the bed, then carefully made his way to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up since he had bled over a bit, changed out his pad and tampon. Just as he was about to flush away the bloody water and toilet paper, there was urgent knocking at the door.

“Virgil, are you okay?!”

Virgil was a little annoyed, but knew to rein himself in. “Yeah Pat, I’m good, just about to wash my hands.”

“Sweetie, are you sure? There’s blood on the bed.”

OH FUCK.

“Um, I’ll be out a in a minute.”

Think think think think THINK!! Okay, what can I tell him? I could just fudge the truth a little bit, but that might be too close to a lie. I could just tell him I don’t want to tell him, but he’d be so sad that I don’t trust him and he deserves better than that. Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

Realizing he’d been staring into space, he dried his hands, then went out to face the music.

Patton was studying the comforter that had gotten stained, and looked up and smiled at Virgil as he emerged. “Hey Virge, I was just gonna wash this for you, is that okay?”

Virgil could feel another wave coming on. “Yeah, but you don’t have to.” Let me lie down so I don’t double over in front of you.

Patton waved him off. “Nonsense, you’re sick and I wanna help!”

SHIT. “Okay, I can help get it off.”

“Sure!”

Virgil frantically tugged at the comforter, while Patton calmly gathered it up in his arms. As soon as the comforter was off the bed, Virgil laid down and curled up, hopefully in a way that made it look like he was just lying down.

“Virgil, can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer!”

Virgil assessed Patton. Patton was looking nervous himself, biting his lip and eyes averting themselves.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Patton took a deep breath. “Well, I know you’re in a lot of pain, you’re not feeling well, you said it’s happened before, and there’s blood that you don’t seem too worried about.” He fidgeted uncomfortably, trying to figure out how to ask. “Is there anything I can do to help with… this?”

Virgil sighed. Of course he’d figure it out. “Honestly, the soup is more than what I usually get-”

“What?!” Patton cried.

Oops.

“Um, usually I just kinda deal with it on my own?”

Virgil kicked himself for the devastated look on Patton’s face. “Oh Virge…”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind dealing with it by myself!”

“I know, but you shouldn’t have to! And you don’t have to anymore!” Patton declared. “You’re in so much pain, is that normal? Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Normal for me, yeah, and I don’t think so.”

“Normal for you? Why just you, are you in more pain than other people who get periods?”

Way to put it on the nose Patton. “I-”

“What’s this regarding?” Logan asked as he walked in.

Patton didn’t close the door, shit!! “Nothing!”

“Patton seemed to be implying that you’re in a great deal of pain-”

“WHO DARES HARM YOU?!” Roman thundered, sword already drawn.

GODAMMIT. “NO ONE. Okay, Jesus Christ. Look, I’m fine, I’ve just got the period from hell. I’m sorry you guys found out, I didn’t mean to, I’m fine dealing with this on my own, I know it’s weird and-” Virgil cut himself off at the sorrowful looks he was getting. He sighed. These guys aren’t the Dark Sides, they probably don’t think it’s weird and gross and something I’m doing to them on purpose. “Sorry. Just, I have this thing that makes this harder, I can’t think of the name because I can’t think during this, and I’m fine. I’m just miserable for a week and then it’s manageable. This is better treatment than I usually get, and now I can at least get food. Just ignore me.” Virgil cursed God as another devastating cramp chose that specific moment to be an asshole. He held his breath, but couldn’t stop from curling in on himself. Concerned Patton noises could be heard, and Logan was trying to encourage Virgil to breathe. Roman just stood there, feeling helpless.

Once it passed, Virgil unclenched and took a few breaths. “Sorry,” he panted.

“Please do not apologize. Average menstrual cramps-” Virgil winced. “-have been shown to be at a similar pain level as a heart attack, and it sounds like you experience more severe cramping. If you wish to be left alone, then we will respect that,” Logan stated, agreements coming from each of the other Sides. “But there is still the concern of unusual pain. Do you require pain medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it helps me not lose my mind, but it can only do so much. I’m on the max dose for ibuprofen and tylenol right now, and I’m alternating them.”

Logan frowned. “This is your pain level even with medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it’s this thing that starts with an “e”… shit, what is it…”

Logan’s eyebrows shot up. “Endometriosis?”

“Yeah!” Virgil squinted. “How the hell did you know that?”

“I’m Thomas’ center of knowledge. Gracious, Virgil…” Logan trailed off. “Has a TENS unit ever proven helpful?”

“A what?”

Logan straightened up. “A TENS unit administers small electrical pulses to pain points or trigger points via electrodes placed on the skin. Research, as well as personal anecdotes, have shown them to be effective in combating menstrual pain. Would you like me to conjure one for you?”

Whatever, worst thing that might happen is it could hurt worse for a few seconds. “Sure, why not.”

Logan closed his eyes, and a few seconds later a rectangular device with a bunch of wires coming out of it appeared. “Would you like me to apply the electrodes, or would you like to?”

The thought of someone touching his bare skin, especially where he was in so much pain, still scared him, even though he knew these weren’t the Dark Sides. “I can put it on.”

No one said anything as Virgil rolled over to his side and placed the electrodes where Logan instructed. He turned back over, blushing slightly and feeling weird. He could feel another bad one coming on, and he hoped that this would work. Logan handed Virgil the unit.

“There are a few levels of electricity. Since this is your first time, it’s recommended you start at 1 and see if you need to increase from there.”

Before the next bastard cramp could come to do its damage, Virgil just nodded and turned on the device, bracing himself for electrocution pain. Instead, the cramps was… not as bad? It still hurt like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t as godawful as it could be. He cranked it up a few more dials, and the pain dimmed to a level he couldn’t remember ever feeling.

His eyes widened as he uncurled and sat up, jaw slack. The pain was still there, and he could still tell that his muscles were freaking the fuck out, but the pain was down so much he could almost ignore it.

So Logan just made my life about a thousand times better. How do I let him know?

“What kind of bullshit wizard magic is this?” Nice, REAL kind of you to say after Logan literally changed your life.

Logan just did his proud little smirk of his and drew his shoulders back. “No magic involved, merely science, and,” he adjusted one side of his glasses. “logic.”

Virgil sighed, still light-headed and dizzy, but the amount of relief that flooded his body without the pain was helping him feel so much better.

Logan frowned. “If you’ll excuse me, Thomas requires my help with a business e-mail.”

Virgil looked out through Thomas’ eyes and Sanders what the HELL. “Yeah, you’d better go deal with that.”

Patton waved his hand over the bowl of soup to warm it. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

Virgil fidgeted. “Not to be a stereotype, but I’m currently willing to commit homicide for chocolate.”

In the next moment, Virgil found his lap full of his favorite dark chocolate-sea salt-almond bars.

“I should probably go too, make sure Thomathy gets the tone of the e-mail right,” Patton said regretfully.

Virgil waved him off. “No worries, go do your thing.”

“I’ll keep our brave knight company!” Roman declared.

Patton said goodbye and sank out. Roman and Virgil stared at each other.

Roman broke first. “Soooo, friendo…”

Virgil sighed, putting Roman out of his misery. “I don’t usually feel like being a people, but this TENS unit thing is really helping. I’d be down to play some video games after lunch.”

“Sounds wonderful! I’ll get the game set up!” Roman sank out with his usual flair.

Virgil snorted and shook his head. Thank god for TENS units.

He flushed as he thought to himself, Thank god for famILY.

[oliviaischillin1204]

jelly cookies

Pairings: Platonic LAMP

Word Count: 2,106 words

despite Crofter’s being a main influence on this fic, it wasn’t inspired by the most recent video (which is why it doesn’t reference it at all). in reality, this is based on this one random ask that someone sent to August like,,,,, 11 and a half months ago LMAOOOOO. so yeah. fun times!

(also i guess tw for minor references to over eating, but it’s not graphic nor does it last long)

Logan was minding his own business as he made his way to the living room, when something grabbed him by the tie and yanked him into the kitchen.

“Ack-- what?” he stammered, before someone shoved a finger to his lips.

“Shhh!”

Loagn pulled back, eyeing the other side with irritation. “Roman, what are you doing?”

“I said shush, Pocket Protector!” Roman insisted, pointing to the kitchen counter with intention. Logan followed his gaze to see a tray of cookies on a cooling rack, freshly made and definitely delicious.

Logan turned to Roman, eyebrow quirked. “And you decided the two of us need to spy on Patton’s batch of cookies because...?”

“Because,” Roman replied, leaning close and speaking lowly, “I overheard him telling Virgil about these cookies. He said they’re jelly cookies, Logan!”

Logan’s eyes darted back ove to the counter, and now that he was looking closer, he noticed a nearly-empty jar of Crofter’s Jam sitting on the counter next to his other ingredients.

“... Ah,” Logan stated after a moment. “I must admit, the idea of jam-filled cookies is ingenious, and... incredibly tempting.”

Roman nodded slowly. “Patton said it was a surprise for us. We should-- we should probably wait for him and Virgil to come back before we eat them, right?”

Logan blinked, dragging his gaze back to Roman’s face. “Right. Of course. We should... wait. Definitely.”

They nodded at each other for a few beats. The scent of warm Logan’s Berry jam wafted through the air.

“... Or we could try a couple--”

“-- To ensure that they are satisfactory, yes, I agree completely.”

That was how Patton and Virgil found them 10 minutes later: Logan and Roman hunched over the tray, crumbs scattering the counter as they shoved the last two cookies into their mouths.

“Oh-- oh! Kiddos, what are you doing?” Patton’s voice made them look up, guilt and jam all over their faces. Patton and Virgil stood in the doorway, Patton with his hands on his hips, Virgil with his jaw hanging open.

“Dude, did you guys seriously eat all of the cookies Patton made?” Virgil asked incredulously.

“We--” Roman started, before looking at the tray with befuddlement. “Did we really eat them all?”

Logan coughed, wiping a bit of jam off of his cheek and licking his thumb clean. “We apologize, Patton, truly. We didn’t intend to eat the entire batch without you. We merely... got carried away,” he finished, slightly embarrassed.

Virgil scoffed. “And to think Patton wanted to do something nice for you,” he said, crossing his arms and shooting the cookie thieves a faux-stern look. “You two better be sorry.”

“Oh, I think they’ll be sorry soon,” Patton said softly, a strange look on his face. Something about his tone made all three of them look at him.

Logan furrowed his brow, one hand idly rubbing his full stomach. “I beg your pardon, Patton?”

Patton met Logan’s eyes, a small smile on his face.

“I said,” he repeated, “I think the two of you will be sorry you ate all those cookies very soon.”

Logan opened his mouth, probably to reply that he had already apologized for the both of them, but suddenly his entire body twitched, his hand gripping his stomach a little tighter.

“What--?” 

“I was going to tell you,” Patton said in fond exasperation, waving a hand around, “that that was a brand new recipe, with a special ingredient just for you two!”

Roman’s hand went to his stomach now as well. He felt a strange warmth bubbling up inside of him, making his stomach flip in an oddly familiar way. 

“I-- um-- what ingredient, Padre?” he asked, aiming for casual but failing, feeling his legs start to go a little weak beneath him.

Patton hummed. “A little Crofter’s.” He looked between Logan and Roman, and his smile grew even more. “And a little magic.”

Logan and Roman jolted in unision, confused smiles coming to their faces.

“Sorry, what--?” 

“What do you mean, magic?”

“Oh my God,” Virgil said suddenly, eyes widening in delight. He pointed between Roman and Logan, laughing a little as he announced, “They’re tickle cookies!”

Both Logan’s and Roman’s eyes widened. They looked at Patton, whose small shrug and cheeky smile provided them no reassurance.

“Well, I know you two get too embarrassed to ask for tickles,” Patton explained, smile growing as he watched Logan begin to shift his weight back and forth, while Roman’s breath started coming faster and faster, “so I wanted to make it a little easier for you to get them! Why did you think I called them ‘Jel-Lee Cookies’?”

Logan and Roman froze. They slowly turned to look at each other.

Roman grinned sheepishly. “Hey--” 

“You-- you are figuratively dead.” Logan’s threatening words were completely ruined by the huff of laughter he let slip halfway through his sentence. His hands gripped his stomach, but it was useless: it was like he could feel a wave of tickles rippling across his midriff from his very core, and no amount of covering his skin could protect him from those sensations.

“Can I just say? This is pretty fucking hilarious,” Virgil interjected from where he sat atop the counter, his chin in his hand as he watched the chaos.

Roman shot him as much of a scowl as he could muster. “Oh, be quiet, you Hot Topic re-eject!”

He leaped forward, his body moving instinctively as he felt something fluttering at the back of his ribs. But, of course, there was nothing there; the tickles were coming from somewhere deep inside him, and he couldn’t escape himself. He wheezed, hands belatedly slamming over his mouth, as he crumpled to the ground in a flustered heap.

Logan was quick to follow him to the ground: he, too, rocked back and forth in a desperate attempt to ease the tickles coming from inside his core, but unlike Roman he couldn’t pry his arms away from his sides. He knew, logically, that he couldn’t protect himself from the waves of tickles running across his sides, ribs, and stomach, but that knowledge wasn’t enought to keep him from clawing at the invisible tickles over and over again.

“So...” Virgil said with a shit-eating grin. “What’s gonna happen now, Pat?”

“I don’t know, Virge!” Patton replied. “I didn’t plan for them to eat them all at once! Gosh, I wonder if that’ll make the tickles even more tickly? What do you think, Logan?”

Logan couldn’t answer; he was too busy squealing and desperately kicking his legs, despite knowing that there was nothing he could do to distract himself from the tickles.

“Pat-- Pat-- Patton!” Roman giggled, writhing on his back on the floor. “Please-- please, help us!”

“I don’t know how!” Patton replied, not looking bothered in the slightest. “I didn’t put enough in there to actually hurt you guys, but it looks like you’re just gonna have to wait this one out, gang.”

Logan shook his head, his entire face taken up by a giddy smile. “Cahahan’t! Can’t wait! Plehehehease!”

Virgil hummed, suddenly leaning forwards to cast a sly smile down at the two gigglebugs.

“Hey, Pat, what was that Logan was telling you a few nights ago?” he asked, speaking to Patton as if there weren’t two helpless lees laughing their hearts out on the floor. “Something about a study he read, about how digestion can be sped up by ‘tactile stimulation of the abdomen’?”

Patton quirked his head. His gaze darted between the two lees on the floor, wriggling around and squealing like pigs.

“Do you mean when he got Roman to hold me down while he tickled all over my tummy?” he asked slowly. “Cause I remember that very well. They said it was just to help my stomachache after eating too much at dinner, but I think they were just being meanies, huh?”

Logan and Roman shot each other frightened looks through their laughter, especially as Virgil hopped off the counter and Patton crouched down to the floor.

“Maybe we can help them?” Virgil asked, rolling up his sleeves and cracking his knuckles. Patton was already nodding, arms reaching for the closest lee on the floor, which just so happened to be Logan.

“Time to help your tummy-ache!” he cooed sweetly, but Logan gasped, weakly crawling backwards.

“Nohohoho-- no! Dohoho-- dohohon’t--”

He couldn’t even manage to get his pleas out through his laughter, instead collapsing back on the floor as he gasped for breath.

But to their surprise, Roman was already nodding, smiling wide as he practically pulled Virgil closer to him by his hoodie.

“Hehehe-- help me! Hehehelp mehehehe!” he begged. Virgil blinked for just a second before his face split into an evil grin.

“Oh, you don’t even have to ask, Princey,” he said darkly, and then he pounced, fingers digging and wiggling into the middle of Roman’s tummy.

Roman howled, head dropping back as his arms jerked to push Virgil away.

“Nahahaha-- huhuhurry-- plehehehease!” he pleaded. He threw his body from side to side, but Virgil followed him all too easily, massaging his stomach and cooing over his blushing face.

Logan watched the two of them through his own gasping laughter, so he was wholly unprepared for the feeling of two hands gripping him just above his hips. His laughter spiked dramatically.

“Nohohoho!” he begged Patton, who was kneeling above him with a half-sympathetic, half-evil look on his face. “No, nonono, dohohon’t--”

“Aw, Logan,” Patton cooed with a teasy smile. “You just need to relax, bud. It’ll be over sooner if you do.”

He paired the reassurance with massaging his thumbs deeply into Logan’s lower stomach, right above his pantline. Logan shrieked, hands shooting down and shoving desperately at Patton’s tickly grip to no avail.

“Tickle, tickle, Logan,” Patton sang. He rubbed small circles into Logan’s tummy chub. “That’s right, get all those little giggles out. Let it out, there you go.”

On the other side, Roman gave a particularly loud snort when Virgil tazed either side of his bellybutton. His arms finally jerked down out of his control and shoved the hands away.

Virgil scoffed. “You asked for my help, Princey,” he reminded him as he pried Roman’s arms away from his torso and pinned them under his knees. “You begged me to help you get rid of all the tickles, and I won’t stop until you're all tickled out."

Together, Virgil and Patton wiggled and buzzed their fingers all over Roman's and Logan's tummies, keeping them begging and pleading through their squealing laughter. For Logan and Roman, they didn't know which was worse: the teasy tickles coming from Patton and Virgil, or the pulsing tickles coming from within themselves. They couldn't get away from either of them, and both were driving them metaphorically crazy. 

Luckily for the two tickled-out sides, Patton and Virgil’s theory proved to be correct: the more they tickled all over Roman and Logan’s abdomens, the less they felt the waves of magic tickles coming from inside them. 

“Ssstohop,” Roman panted, weakly batting at Virgil’s hands. “I’m gohohood-- I’m good.”

Virgil immediately acquiesced, pulling his hands back and propping his chin on his hand to give Roman a shit-eating grin. Paton pulled away, too-- only to shoot down to Logan’s tummy and give him a sudden, noisy raspberry, shocking him into giving one last shriek of laughter.

“Sorry, sweetie,” he said, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “I couldn’t help it.”

It took several seconds for Logan to catch his breath enough to respond. “Whyhyhy?”

Patton beamed as he sat back up. “What’s wrong, Logan? I thought you liked raspberries.”

His words made both Logan and Roman whine again, both from the tease and from the reminder of their cookie mistake.

“We learned our lesson,” Roman insisted. He was busy covering as much of his face as possible, although his flushed cheeks were still visible behind his fingers.

“And what lesson was that, tickle addict?” Virgil asked, smirking when Roman peeked out to glare at him

“No more stealing random cookies,” he said sullenly. Logan nodded, arms still clutching his midriff like he still felt the phantom tickles.

“Apologies, again, Patton--” he started, but the moral side waved him off.

“No need to be sorry, ticklebugs!” he chirped. “Besides...”

He drifted off as he leaned back, craning his neck to look at something on the counter. The others followed his gaze to a small kitchen timer.

“The second batch will be ready in about two minutes,” Patton announced. He turned back to the lees on the floor, smile as sweet as Crofter’s jam.

“Who’s ready for a second helping?”

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Five times Virgil sat on a surface not meant for sitting (and one time he didn’t) pt 6/6

Rating: Teen to be safe

Word count: 829

Pairings: none

Warnings: non-graphic, non-sexual nudity (it’s Remus)

+1. Thomas

That’s the last time I eat tacos before bed, Thomas thinks to himself as he descends the stairs to get to the kitchen. He had trouble getting to sleep earlier, and then once he’d finally fallen asleep, he’d had the weirdest dream, which resulted in him startling awake again. He’s not sure what time it is, he hadn’t checked, but he decided to take Patton’s suggestion of a warm glass of milk.

Thus why he’s going to the kitchen at dark o’clock in the morning.

Normally, if he’d been going for a glass of water, Thomas would have left the light off, trusting himself to find a glass and the sink in the dark. But since he’s after warm milk, he decides that it’s best to turn a light on. He doesn’t want to burn himself, after all.

So Thomas switches on the living room lamp.

And promptly screams.

“What in the name of Adam Driver are you screaming about?” Roman’s voice demands from his right, causing Thomas to scream again.

After he’s calmed down from his second scream, Thomas realizes that he must have summoned the Sides with his first scream, seeing as how his living room was now full of… well himself, really.

“Thomas,” Logan reprimands from his place next to the stairs, looking barely awake, dressed in only his unicorn onesie and no glasses. “It is incredibly early in the morning, you should not be awake yourself, let alone waking the neighbors with your unnecessary screaming. I thought you were getting a glass of milk and then heading back to bed.”

“Yeah, Thomas,” Virgil drawls from the couch, as if his unexpected presence wasn’t what made Thomas scream in the first place. “People might think you’re being murdered and then they’ll call the police and then you’ll have to talk to the police to tell them that there’s no murder going on.”

“Wouldn’t that be fun though?” Remus asks enthusiastically. Other than Virgil, he seems the most awake, standing naked and proud in the middle of the living room.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas apologizes, looking between his Sides that he had accidentally woken up. Logan seems to be fully utilizing the banister to keep himself upright. Roman‘s face is covered in stark white moisturizer, and he’s wearing those fancy silk pajamas like Thomas had always imagined rich people to sleep in. Patton is sitting by the window in his car onesie with the hood pulled up, obscuring his face. Actually, he might just be sleeping. Janus is definitely sleeping, having taken Virgil’s usual spot since Virgil isn’t currently using it, curled up on the stairs in a nightgown like Ebenezer Scrooge. Remus, as previously stated, is standing, wide-awake, in the middle of the living room, wearing only a nightcap that looks like it goes with Janus’ gown.

And Virgil is on the couch, fully dressed, because he’d been sitting there in the dark when Thomas came downstairs.

“I didn’t mean to summon you guys, I just wasn’t expecting to find Virgil on my couch in the middle of the night.”

“Apology accepted,” Logan says before sinking out, too tired for anything more.

“Yes, if no one needs me then I’m going to go finish my beauty sleep,” Roman declares with an overly exaggerated yawn.

“You could sleep for a hundred years and you’d still be the ugly twin!” Remus yells after him. “Well this was disappointing,” he informs Thomas. “Call me if something juicy happens.”

And then he’s sinking out, too. Leaving Thomas with just Virgil and two sleeping Sides.

“Um, should we wake them?” Thomas asks, gesturing to Patton and Janus.

“Nah,” Virgil waves him off. “They’ll sink out on their own soon enough, it’s hard to stay in the real world when you’re unconscious.”

“Oh, okay.”

Thomas stands around awkwardly for a minute before deciding to continue the conversation.

“Why were you sitting on my couch in the middle of the night? Don’t you have a couch in the Mindpalace?”

“Yeah,” Virgil shrugs. “But I think more clearly when I’m on your couch. The Mindpalace has a way of… twisting things, I guess. It’s less distorted out here.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” Thomas bobs his head. “But why in the dark?”

“I’m a figment of your imagination, Thomas, I can’t turn your lights on.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense,” Thomas says again, rubbing the back of his head. “Hey, do you want warm milk?”

“Yeah,” Virgil nods, standing to follow Thomas into the kitchen?”

“Wiff cookies?” The slurred question comes from behind them, and Thomas turns to find Patton blinking blearily at them from the floor.

“Sure, Pat,” Thomas smiles at the Moral Side. “Just don’t tell Logan.”

“Promise,” Patton swears seriously, as he stands and shuffles forward, stopping only once he’s walking right into Virgil.

Thomas turns to the stairs to offer Janus milk and cookies, but finds that he’s already sunk back out.

Oh well, he thinks. More cookies for us.

~~~END~~~

[Janus], [Logan], [Roman], [Remus], [Patton]

Taglist:

@alias290

@winterwynd

@everythingisstardust

@ask-caramel-the-dragon

@memestofsdsins

@disasterlesbon

@selenechris

@ladyaurorab

@all-bridges-will-burn

@i-can-kazoo

@unsaltedtoaster37

@queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@the-snake-god

@discontinuedbirthdayparties

@thatonerandomarmadillo

@justmeandmygayships

@patient--zer0

@pixelated-pineapple

@for-real-fandom

@sunshinenotdick

@antiredhuman

@fanficloverinthesun

@katthebookiestnerd

@nova-galexa

@ai-incarnate

@genderfluidmoma

@the-bones-fall

@grayson-22

@vindicatedvirgil

@gayboopnoodle

AN: that’s the end of the series (which would have been more accurate to call “Eight times Virgil sat on a surface not meant for sitting (and one time he didn’t)” or “Five times the Sides found Virgil sitting on a surface not meant for sitting (and one time Thomas found him on the couch)” but whatever). Sorry it took so long for this part to be up, but I had to move out of my apartment.

I hope you enjoyed it and definitely let me know if you want to be tagged in any other Sanders Sides fics I write in the future. 💜💜💜

[foreverfangirlalways]

Sander Sides High School Host Club

Sanders Sides OHSHC-

This is simply a bullet fic for a Sanders Sides version of Ouran High School Host Club. Everyone is Supernatural except for Virgil, and if y’all like it enough, I will turn it into a full fledged fic. Just let me know!!

-_-_-_-

Original Character= Sander Side -supernatural identity- tattoo that shows supernatural identity Haruhi=Virgil -human- ??? Tamaki=Janus -shapeshifter- dice surrounded by various shapes Kyouya=Logan -vampire- fangs with a moon and cross Hikaru=Patton -Cupid- bow&arrow w/ heart Kaoru=Emile -Siren- musical notes with emoji Hunny=Roman -fae- willow tree and red mushrooms Mori=Remy -sandman- hourglass combines with a sandstorm Renge=Remus -fae- willow tree and green mushrooms

-_-_-_-

~A bunch of freaking people talking loudly in a freaking library!~

Virgil – [Sigh] ~This place has four library rooms. You'd think one of them would be quiet.~

~How are things in heaven Andy? I can't believe it's been ten years already. I'm beginning to think that rich kids only come to school to have a good time.~

~An abandoned living room. I guess this is the only place I'll be able to study in peace and quiet.~

[Gets buried in an avalanche of petals]

Sides Host Club – "Welcome!"

Virgil– ~When I opened the door, I found the Host Club.~

Janus *background/narration/janus answer to Virgil’s ‘whaaa???’*– "Only those with excellent social standing, filthy rich families, and are supernatural creatures are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Sides Academy. The Sides Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys, with too much time on their hands, entertain other handsome boys who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Sides Academy's elegant playground for the super-rich, supernatural, and beautiful."

Virgil – "This is a cult?"

Patton– "Oh wow, it's a new boy!"

Logan – "Patton, Emile, I believe this young man is in the same class as you, isn't he?"

Emile– "Yeah, but he's so shy and quite! He doesn't act very sociably, so we don't know much about him."

Logan – "Hm. Well, that wasn't very polite." "Welcome to the Sides Host Club, Mr. Honor Student."

Janus – "What? You must be Virgil Storm! You're the exceptional honor student we've heard about."

Virgil – "How did you know my name?"

Roman– "Why, you're infamous. It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy. You must have a lot of nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student cutie."

Virgil– "Boi, excuse me?"

Janus – "You're excused. You're a hero to other poor people, Storm. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy. It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others."

Virgil– "Ahhh, you’re that type of asshole. I think you're taking this "poor" thing too far."

Janus – "Spurned. Neglected. But that doesn't matter now. Long live the poor! We welcome you poor man, to our world of beauty."

Virgil– "Bitch, bye. I'm outta here."

Patton– "Hey! Come back here BFF Virgil! You must be like a superhero or something. That's so cool!"

Virgil– "I'm not a hero. I'm an honor student. And who are you calling "BFF Virgil!?"

Janus – "I never would've imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay."

Virgil – "Openly what? BITCH WE’RE ALL GAY! There are no girls at this school! It’s like, a requirement or something!"

Janus *not listening*– "So tell me what kind of guys you're into. Do you like the strong, silent type? Because we don’t have that. We have Remy instead.

Remy- “You got that right babes. Silence is weakness. That’s why I always be slurping Starbees! *siiiippppp*”

Janus- Then there’s the boy Lolita? That’s Pat and Em! How about the princely type, Roman, or the cool nerd type, Logan?"

Virgil– "None! I was just looking for a quiet place to study."

Janus – "Or maybe... You're into a guy like me. *winky winky nudge nudge* What do you say?"

Virgil– "I will slap you. Back away!"

~Joan enters to see what the club was up too, and hears a ‘crackboom’. He turns to the noise, and sees the club standing over his broken vase.

Joan- “BROOOOOOOO! No effin' way, dude! Who broke this vase? Who broke this vase? Seriously, guys. Everyone who's here at my awesome party... this huge crowd of people that's definitely here right now...”

Virgil- *Mumbling* “Oh my go- wait, are they drunk? Why are they talking like that?”

Joan- “Somebody broke my grandma's vase. And that was the last thing she gave to me... to sell for about 75 thousand dollars! I swear to all things football and/or skateboarding that I will find you. Don't make me cry these incredibly manly tears! Anyone can speak up here and be a part of this scene. Especially those of us who aren't imagined and are actually here on the stage.”

Janus, Logan, Patton, Emile, Roman, and Remy all facepalm.

Joan- “Like, not the people who are imagined to be here through means of suspension of disbelief.”

Logan- I do not understand theatre. Joan, you don’t have to practice your script right now! Besides, you literally watched Virgil break it.”

Joan- “True, but I was very convincing! Now, ima go, but y’all should have the new guy do indentured servitude or something, because that’s the typically way a teenager pays for breaking a vase. Bye!”

All- “Bye Joan!”

Virgil- *gulping and looking around the room*"Uh, I'm gonna have to pay you back."

Remy – "With what money? Babes, you can't even afford a school uniform."

Roman – "What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway?"

Virgil- “Hmm, don’t like you either asshat.”

Logan – "Well, what do you think we should do Janus?"

Janus– "There's a famous saying you may have heard Virgil, "When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do." Since you have no money, you can pay with your body!”

Virgil- *raises an eyebrow, flips him off, and moves to leave*

Logan- *grabbing Virgil’s arm and pulling him back* “He doesn’t mean like that! He means-“

Janus- * interrupting* “That means starting today, you're the Host Club's errand boi!"

(Scene change)

Virgil– ~I don't know if I can handle this Andy. I've been captured by a bunch of boys that are calling themselves a host club.~ [Indistinct chattering] Brian– "Um, Janus, what's your favorite song?"

Janus– "What song? The one that reminds me of you, of course."

Steve (the stove) – "I baked you a cake today. Would you like to taste it?"

Janus– "Only if you'll feed it to me darling."

Bill (the drill) – "Oh wow. You're so dreamy."

Chad – "May I have a word with you Janus?"

Janus and Bill – "Huh?"

Chad– "I've recently heard the Host Club is keeping a little kitten without a pedigree."

Janus– "I don't know if I'd call him that. Speak of the devil! Thanks for doing the shopping Count Woe-laf! Did you get everything on our list?"

Virgil– "What? If Roman can’t call me that neither can you. Now here’s your food."

Remy– "Hey, wait a minute, what is this?"

Virgil– "Just what it looks like. It's coffee."

Remy – "I've never seen this kind before. Is this Dunkin Donuts?"

Virgil – *rolling his eyes* "Holy fucking shit. It's just Krueger coffee pods. I even got Starbucks brand!”

Everyone– "It's coffee pods?"

Remy – "Whoa! I've heard of this before. It's commoners' coffee. You just place it into a machine."

Steve – "I didn't know there was such a thing."

Brian – "So it's true then. Poor people don't even have enough money to buy Starbucks from Starbucks!"

Chad – "Mm hmm!"

Virgil- “No, it’s just Starbucks coffee pods. For home. It’s convenient you preppy asshats.”

Logan– *winks* "Commoners are pretty smart and convenient."

Roman – "68 cents per pod?"

Patton – "That's a lot less than we normally pay!"

Virgil – "I'll go back and get regular Starbucks. Excuse me for not knowing y’all orders."

Remy – "No, I'll keep it."

Crowd – [Gasp]

Remy– "I'm going to give it a try."

Crowd – [Gasp]

Remy – "I will drink this coffee!"

Crowd – [Applause]

Remy – "Alright Virgil, get over here and make me some of this commoners' coffee."

Virgil– ~I hate all these damn rich people.~

Chad– "Oh Janus, Logan, now they’re taking the joke too far. His palate won't be able to stomach that crap. Y’all don't have to drink it just because he bought it."

Virgil- "With all do respect, what?"

Chad*verychadlike* – "I'm sorry. I was talking to myself."

Virgil– "Bitc-"

Emile– "Virgil!"

Virgil – "Eh, I'm comin'" "Here."

Remy – "Let the tasting begin."

Brian – "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff."

Jon – "I'm afraid if I drink this my father will yell at me."

Roman– "What if I let you drink it from my mouth?"

Jon – "Well then I would drink it."

Guys – [Squealing]

Virgil – ~This is ridiculous.~

(Scene change)

Emile– [Giggle] "So he had a cookie jar hidden in our room."

Patton– "Emile! Don't tell them that story. I asked you not to tell anyone that. Why are you so mean to me?"

Emile– "I'm sorry Patton."

Guys – [Gasp]

Emile – "I didn't mean to upset you, but you were so adorable when it happened, I had to tell them. I'm sorry."

Patton– "I forgive you."

Guys – [Squeal] "I've never seen roommate love quite like that."

Virgil– "What are they so excited about? I just don't get it."

Roman – [dramatic entrance] "Sorry, we're running late."

Jon – "Hello Roman. Hey Remy."

Apollo – "We've been waiting here for you guys, hi"

Roman– "I'm sorry. I was waiting for Remy to finish his party plans and I simply couldn’t leave a man behind! *wrapping his arms around Remy* especially not the handsomest prince in the world!"

Guys – [Gasp] "So cute!" [Giggling]

Virgil– "Is Roman really a prince?"

Logan – "Roman may seem dramatic, but he is a fae prince."

Virgil – "Really? Damn."

Logan– "And then Remy allure is he’s a sassy, coffee-addicted sandman."

Virgil- "Interesting... tell me more?"

Logan- “Well, Emile is a siren. Patton is a Cupid.”

Virgil-*suprised Pikachu face* “seriously?”

Patton– "Vergie!"

Virgil– [Yelp]

Patton– "Hey Virgie, do you want to go have some cookies with me?"

Virgil– "Thanks, but I don't really like cookies."

Emile– "Then how would you like to hold my Stitch?"

Virgil– "I'm not into stuffed animals."

Emile– "Don’t worry! Stitch isn’t a mere stuffed animal! You look stressed. Stitch is enchanted, he brings luck and happiness to the holder.”

Virgil– [Gasp] "Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt?"

Emile and Patton– [Gasp] *REALIZATION!* "Take good care of him, okay?" [Laugh]

Logan– "You'll notice that our club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests. Just so you know, Janus is number one around here. He's the king. Just don’t tell Roman. Janus’s request rate is 70%."

Virgil- "What's this world coming to? So, what is he?"

Logan- “Janus is a shapeshifter.”

Virgil- “Figures”

Logan– "And in order for you to pay off your 75 thousand dollar debt with us, you will act as the Sides Host Club's errand boy until you graduate. You can try to run away if you want to Virgil, but just so you know, I can find you anywhere you go. By the way, do you have a passport?"

Virgil – "Huh? What does that matter? And how could you find me? You never told me what you are."

Logan: “oh, of course. *smiles slowly, showing fangs.* “I’m a vampire.”

Virgil~eyes widened. Crap. Why does the one I like best have to be the most dangerous?~

Janus – "You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little emo." [Blow]

Virgil– [Hyperventilating] "Please don't do that again. Fight or flight, I will punch you."

Janus– "You need a makeover or no guys going to look twice at you."

Virgil – "You seem to be looking at me just fine. Besides, I’m not trying to get guys to look at me."

Janus– "Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing. You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the masses, like me."

Virgil– "I just don't think it's all that important."

Janus– "Hm?"

Virgil– "Why should I care about appearances and labels anyway? I mean, all that really matters is what's on the inside right? I don't understand why you even have a host club like this."

Janus– "It's a cruel reality, isn't it?

Virgil– [Grunt]

Janus– "It's not often that God creates a perfect person like moi, beautiful both inside and out."

Virgil– "And vein all around?"

Janus– "I understand how you feel since not everyone is blessed as I am, but you must console yourself. Otherwise how would you go on living? And think about this Virgil. Why do you think they put works of art in museums? Because beauty should be shared with the world, and those born beautiful should-“

Virgil-(~There's a word to describe people like him.~)

Janus- “promote other beautiful things. That's why I started this club in the first place. I did it for those who are-“

Virgil-(~Hmm. What is it?~)

Janus- “starved for beauty. For those working day and night, pursuing beauty. And although

Virgil-(~Aw man, I wish I could remember that word. Hmmm~)

Janus-“your looks may be average, and you have a few negative characteristics, I've chosen to share my expertise with you. Here's a tip. When setting down your glass, extend your pinky finger as a cushion, and that way when you set it down you won't be making a lot of noise. Gentlemen do not make loud sounds. Besides,” Virgil-(~"a pain in the neck"?~)

Janus-“a gentleman looks much more refined”

Virgil-(~No, there's something that fits him perfectly, better than that~)

Janus-“that way. I like to check my reflection.., but above all else ? Virgil, you must remember, how effective a glance to the side can be.”

Virgil- “Ha. I got it!”

Janus-“Oh, did I strike a chord?”

Virgil- You’re Obnoxious!"

Janus*sulking*

Virgil – "Uh, I'm sorry Janus. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings."

Roman and Remy– [Laugh]

Roman– "You're a hero alright."

Remy – "Uh-huh."

Virgil– ~But he is a pain in the neck.~ "I'm sorry Jan, but your lesson did strike a small chord with me."

Janus– "Really? It did? Let me teach you more, my friend."

Virgil– "Well, he got over that quick."

Janus- “Emile!”

Emile – "Boss?"

Janus– "Call me King."

Roman- “Nope, that’s me! Try again.”

Janus- “Fine. Call me Emperor Now where was I?”

Emile– “I think you were wanting to make Virgil a host. You can teach him all the basics of hosting..."

Patton– "But he's not going to get very far with the fellas if he doesn't look the part you know. HE NEEDS A MAKEOVER!!!"

Virgil– "I thought I already vetoed that?"

Roman– "Yes! Maybe if we moved his bangs out of his eyes it could help."

Virgil– "Hey! I happen to like bangs in my eyes! STEP AWAY FROM THE BRUSH! NO!!!"

Remy Attack Virgil with a hairbrush

Remy realization*

Logan– [Gasp] "Remy."

Remy – "Got it!"

Virgil– "Huh? Bitch what the hell is going on??" [Yell]

Roman– "Emile, what’s the number to my hairstylist?“

Patton – "What about me Lolo?"

Logan– "Patton."

Patton– "Yes sir!"

Logan– "You... go make some cookies."

Patton – "Ok! Virgil, what’s your favorite type of cookie?? You know what, I’ll just make them all!"

Remy – "Here! Change into this uniform."

Virgil– "What? Why?"

Remy– "Don't ask questions!"

Virgil– "No way! Screw you! You know what, I'll change, but you have to GET OUT!"

Remy – [Yell] [Stutter] "Huh?"

Logan– [Sigh]

(Scene change)

Virgil– "Um, guys?"

Janus– "Aren't you done changing yet?"

Logan– "Hmmm?"

Virgil– "You sure it's really okay for me to keep this uniform?"

Patton– "Cute! You're super pretty! Adorable!"

Emile– "Verge, you look so cute!"

Roman– "If we had known that's how you really look..."

Remy– "We would've helped you out sooner. You’re actually pretty hot..."

Logan– "Who knows? Maybe he'll draw in some customers. And I agree, he is extremely aesthetically appeasing."

Janus – "You know, that's just what I was thinking. Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. Starting today, you are an official member of the Host Club. I will personally train you to be a first-rate host. If you can get 100 customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your $75,000 debt."

Virgil – "A host? You people are fucking crazy. And I don’t want you to train me. You are an asshole."

Logan- “Janus? Do you mind if I train him? It could be educational.”

Janus- *slightly offended snake sounds* “If you can get the ungrateful, sassy, mean emo to agree, you can train him.”

Logan- “Virgil, can~”

Virgil- “I’ll let the hot nerd train me. I like him.”

Everyone looks between an extremely pleased Logan and a smug Virgil. ‘Interesting’

(Insert fluffy, flirty Analogical scene of Virgil learning how to be a ‘proper host’ and the others spying)

(Scene change)

Alfredo– "So, tell me Virgil. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?"

Herbert– "I'm curious, what kind of products do you use on your skin?"

Boy(I’m running out of Thomas’s male character names)– "Yes, it's so pretty."

Virgil– ~I can't do this anymore. I’m sorry Logan, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. And these people are staring to get annoying. And invasive...~

Boys – "So why did you join the Host Club Virgil?" [Giggle]

Virgil– "Uh." ~All I have to do is get 100 customers to request me, and they'll forget about my $75,000 debt. I just have to seem interesting. Oh! I know just the story.~

(Words)

Alfredo – "I see, your brother was sick and passed away two years ago. Who do you bond with now?"

Virgil– "Oh, I‘m just kind of by myself now. My brother was my best friend and confidante, so I found it hard to make friends since he passed. Now all I have is my Uncle, but he is pretty great, and I have managed to make it through okay."

Herbert – "So uh..."

Boy – "Is it okay if tomorrow..."

Alfredo – "We request to sit with you again?"

Virgil– "Yeah, I'd really appreciate that guys. Y’all are great listeners, and I am interested to hear about y’all next time." *smirk*

Boys- [stifled shrieking]

Roman – "Why is he so popular?"

Logan– "He's a natural."

Janus– "Apparently he didn’t even need training."

Chad– "Have you forgotten about me?"

Janus – "Oh, no. Sorry prince. I'm just a little concerned about our newest host."

Chad – "Well that's obvious Jan. You and Logan sure have been keeping an eye on him."

Janus – "Of course. I have to. I need to make sure he a good host, and Logan is training him to be a gentleman."

Boys – [Giggling]

Janus – "Virgil! Come here for a minute."

Virgil– "What's up?"

Janus– "I'd like you to meet someone. This is my regular guest, Prince Chad."

Virgil– [Gasp] ~It's that asshole from earlier~ "Sir, it's a ‘absolute’ pleasure to meet you."

Janus – "That was so cute! That air of bashfulness was very good! Super good! Amazingly good!"

Chad – "Uh, Logan, what is happening?"

Logan– "Virgil is adorable, so Janus is trying to show affection and make Virgil like him better than me."

Virgil– "Roman! Save me!"

Janus – "Nope, mine now!"

Roman– *Whacks Janus with his sword and grabs Virgil bridal style* [Realization Gasp]

Janus– "Damn it Roman, you didn’t have to go that far. Come on little emo, let your best friend give you a big hug."

Virgil– "Ok. Patton! Janus says I need a hug."

Laughing and offended noises, then Patton jumping in Virgil arms for a giant hug. Guests are very amused, and Chad is very pissed

(Scene change)

Virgil-"Hey, what happened to my bag? [looks out window and sees bag in fountain] Uh, are you kidding me? How did that happen? I didn't think there were bullies at this school. I guess those asshats are everywhere. They’re like McDonalds."

Virgil runs towards the fountain

Chad – "Oh! It's you again. I bet you love having Janus and Logan making you over and fawning over you. It's useless though. You're always going to be a second-class citizen.”

Virgil – ~I bet my Tim Burton posters that he is the bastard that threw my bag in the fountain. I can't be bothered with him right now though. I've gotta find my wallet or I won't have any money for food this week.~

Remy– "Hey, tiny emo! You've got some nerve skipping out on the club like that. Why is your bag all wet?"

Virgil– "It's no big deal. I got it. I just can't find my food money."

Remy– "Hm?"

[jumps into the fountain after taking off his sunglasses]

Virgil– "Hey, you don't have to do that. You'll get wet. And why the hell did you only take off your sunglasses? That does nothing!"

Remy – "A little water never hurt anyone. Besides, people are always telling me that I'm dripping with good looks. Oh, hang on a second. This what you're looking for? What's the matter, you're staring off into space. Ooo! Please tell me your falling for me. Because Logan is gonna be pissed! "

Virgil– "No way!"

Remy– "How did your bag end up in the fountain anyway?"

Virgil– "Well uh, I guess I accidentally dropped it out the window at some point."

(Scene change)

Chad – "Oh really? That must've been terrible. I can't imagine what I'd do if my bag fell into the fountain."

Virgil – ~Why did he request me when it's obvious he doesn't like me? He has a plan. Ima end up decking this guy...~

Chad– "And you actually made Remy search that dirty old thing with you. How astonishing! You do realize he's a blueblood and not a commoner, right? The only reason any of them are paying attention to you is because they’re trying to turn you into a gentleman."

Virgil– [Gasp] ~Dis bitch wanna get punched ~

Chad– "Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

Virgil– "Now I understand. You're jealous of me."

[grabs Virgil’s arm and yanks to where Virgil knocks the table over and lands on top of Chad]

Chad – [Scream] "No, Virgil! Leave me alone! Somebody help, he just attacked me!"

Virgil– "Bitch please."

Chad– "Somebody do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!"

[Emile and Patton dump water on the two]

Virgil– "Honestly, what the fuck is with you guys?"

Chad – "Why did you do that? Do something, Janus. Virgil just assaulted me."

Janus – "I'm disappointed in you. You threw his bag into the fountain, didn't you?"

Chad – "You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?"

Remy- “Yeah, babes, we got proof. It’s called we’re not fucking stupid. Or blind.”

Logan– "You know, you're a handsome guy, but you aren't classy enough to be our guest. If there's one thing I know, Virgil is not that kind of a man."

Chad– "But, why? You are all idiots!" [Cry]

Janus– "Hmmm... Now how am I going to punish you? Because it is your fault after all. Your quota is now 1000!"

Virgil– "Huh? 1000? My fault? Why yo-"

Patton– "Come on. I got high expectations for you, kiddo!"

Virgil– "Really?"

Emile– "Yep! This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, right?"

Virgil– "Thanks a lot you guys. I'm gonna go change."

(Scene change)

Janus – "Virgil, here you go. I brought you some towels."

Virgil– [Gasp] “Please get the hell out!”

Janus blanches and leaves

Virgil walks out in the uniform that shows ones supernatural identity tattoo. It shows off storm clouds and lightning, a rare tattoo but one that’s signifies humanity.

Janus– "Virgil."

Virgil– "Yeah?"

Janus– "So, you're a human?"

Virgil– "No shit Sherlock, yeah. Is there anything wrong with that?"

Janus– “No! I think you are awesome even if you’re human. Who else knows?”

Logan, Patton, Emile, Remy, and Roman all raise their hands

Janus-[Scream]

Virgil– "Listen guys, I don't really care whether you recognize me as a human or not. In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what supernatural identity you have."

Everyone nods

Virgil– ([Stammering]) "Uh, you know, I have to say Logan, I thought you were pretty cool earlier."

Logan– [Stammering]

Virgil *blushing*- “Logan, I know that you figured it out as soon as you saw me. Thank you for not saying anything, that was very cool of you.”

Logan *also blushing* -“Ah, umm, ehh, it is no problem. You’re welcome.”

Emile, nudging Patton and both giggling– "Well isn't this an interesting development?"

Roman and Remy – "Oh, yeah."

Janus – "Now, I could be wrong but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here. Can’t believe that nerd stole the hot emo right out from under me with words. Ssssssssuck up!"

Patton- “Janus, kiddo, your name isn’t Jealous.”

Remy- “Yeah! Calm thy snaktitties.”

Roman- “Snake tits. Snake titties. Snitties.”

Roman and Remy- “OH MY GOSH SNITTIES!”

Emile- “Common guys. We are not a love to hate tumblr post.”

Roman and Remy- *chanting* “SNITTIES, SNITTIES, SNITTIES, SNITT-“

Janus- *chasing Roman and Remy around with a broom* “SAY IT ONE MORE DAMN TIME!”

Virgil- “You know, this might be fun, I actually enjoy being a Host...”

Taglist-

@dragonwithproblems

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@thefingergunsgirl

@kawaiikat54

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@007ardra

@yikesdodson

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@teacupfulofstarshine

@impatentpending

@star-crossed-shipper

@ravenivy2079

@rainbowemonightmare

@ladyartemisia28

@mushroom-dance-mushroom-dance

@resident-trash-goblin

@parx-boiiz

@ninathepancake

@kuroyurishion

@spideythenewkid

@funkyfreshfatherfigure

@pattoncake-and-eyeshadow 

@drewwwbydoobydoo

@sure-i-exist

@sophiexteresa

@glitched-cookie

@wellhellothere09

@seraphlies

[sleepless-stories]

Dangerous

Summary: Logan works for a company as a security agent for the city, as a hero in a way. He has a huge crush on Patton, but he can’t be with him, he can’t endanger him. Pastel Punk Logicality, implied mutual pining, with some slight angst  Fic for @unicornoftherainbowshadow as a part of @sanderssidesgiftxchange as a pinch hit Hope you have a nice year!

Logan sat on the edge of a roof, his face covered by his mask. Logan had been out for a few hours now, just sitting on the rooftop watching over the city in silence. The distant sound of sirens around. He took a deep breath of the cool air letting it out seeing the vapors. Looking down Logan saw a flash of bright light, now was his chance it seemed. 

Logan stood up pushing back his dark blue tinted blue hair. Logan’s outfit was pretty simple, a jacket that was padded with bullet proof material that would also hold up against knives and a small explosion and some pants similar to his jacket, on the sides of the jacket it was a dark blue which lined the seams of the suit, he wore black combat boots too. The mask was black with some raised geometric patterns covering his eyes and cheekbones with a second part of it covering over his mouth that part was fully black with no designs, it just had some small slits on the sides for venting. On Logan’s back he had a quarterstaff and a dagger strapped to his thigh. His wrist had a computer like thing. Overall in a way he seemed intimidating. 

Logan sighed and lowered himself down the building to the ground before running to where he had seen the light. 

____

Logan had never been sure how he had gotten into this, being a vigilante that is. Maybe it started with his huge crush which he would deny at all costs. 

It had started small though, Logan had walked into Patton’s bakery. His hair a bit of a  mess, a leather jacket with spiked shoulders, a tie making his punk look somehow semi-professional, his shirt was a blacktshirt, he wore some ripped jeans that had black patches under the rips then his combat boots. He just walked in his full punk apparel, when he saw smoke coming out of the kitchen and a guy run out wearing a light grey sweater that had a little cat toe bean design on the ends of the sleeves and a blue cat on the front of the sweater, light wash jeans, and random sneakers. Logan… he found him adorable. 

Quickly Logan had ran into the back finding the fire extinguisher putting out the flames before going out and greeting the other. 

Logan was gay, that’s a fact. He was defanitly gay for this guy too, Patton. 

They became close friends quickly, a few weeks later the two were in the kitchen, all the lights off… that’s when it all kinda started. 

Logan was chatting with Patton. Logan leaning against the counter, Patton rolling out some cookie dough. 

The front door opened suddenly. They heard the bell, the sound of someone entering the bakery. 

Logan carefully walked over to the kitchen door, having Patton hide in a corner, staying quiet, he had turned off the one light they had on in the kitchen while Patton had been baking. Logan carefully opened the swinging doors going out to the main room, he saw someone hunched over the cash register 

Logan lunged at them tackling them to the ground and punching them in the face. As soon as the person was down he called 911 reporting the break in.

… that was probably the beginning, the beginning of his growing problem and the beginning of his descent into… heroism.

The problem being patton, and his crush on him. 

After that night, Logan felt as if they were a magnet for danger, whenever they were alone together. They got nearly mugged 3 times in one month. Logan ended up dealing with heists at two different stores when he was hanging out with patton. 

Then it all started, Logan was doing well at work, a local business company as their IT, and one day he got a call. He was offered a job, a night job. It started as a security esque job and Logan needed money so he agreed. He got trained in physical combat before being placed behind a desk as cyber security. He was confused why the physical combat till he learned the company was a private firm dealing with security in a way. They dealt with security of the city working with another security firm getting their money from ‘donations’ of the criminals they apprehended. 

That was how it began, him learning what the company was, then being offered a field job. He was given his suit and sent off. Being a somewhat vigilante, hero, working a secret job. 

______

 Logan woke up in the morning laying on his bed wearing some space pajamas, his phone alarm going off distantly on his end table. Logan sat up slowly wincing at some pain in his side from getting struck last night, but he'd be fine. He had plans with Patton for lunch, he’ll be fine by then. 

Logan got out of bed stopping in front of his mirror Logan was glad he had no bruises on his face, nothing for Patton to worry over. He got ready for the day.

___

Logan walked into the bakery and saw Patton standing behind the counter. Logan stared at him before walking over, “So, almost ready for lunch?”

Patton looked up from a clipboard, “hmm? Yeah. Let me take off my apron then I’ll be ready for our date.”

Logan paused, “y-yeah… our date...” Logan nodded slowly, a date? He didn’t think it was going to be a date.

Patton grinned and walked away to the back. 

Logan leaned against a wall then shook his head, he was already close enough… he couldn’t do this. Logan quickly left the bakery, he had to distance himself from Patton. He couldn’t get close to him. Logan ran to his car and quickly drove down the street before pulling over and breaking down sobbing. His phone went off but he ignored it. 

Patton had finished and decided to change into a light blue skirt to go with his pastel blue floral shirt, before coming out of the back. He looked around not seeing Logan, “Um Lo?” he asked, looking around… Logan wasn’t there though. Patton sighed sitting down on a chair, “maybe… maybe he will be right back…” he mumbled putting his head down on the table. 

Patton waited a few hours before wiping his tears away and going to his apartment above the bakery. 

Logan got home and sat on his couch, he just had to… he just had to stay away from Patton. Not too hard. Who was he kidding, Logan had a huge crush on Patton, how would he stay away from him. 

Logan shook his head looking at the time, he had nothing to do. Logan got up deciding to head off to work early,

_____

Logan walked into the building and into his office quickly getting changed before he got a phone call, Patton. Logan held the phone close to his chest before answering and raising it to his ear. “Good Evening Patton, I’m sorry about earlier, something came up.” Logan lied. 

There was a laugh on the other end, “Hello Logan, sorry but, I’m not Patton.”

“Where is he?”

“Oh, with me, someone you’ve messed with far too much now.”

“Who are you.” Logan asked, remaining calm. 

“You don’t need to know that.”

“Well if I don’t know then how am I to know how I’ve messed with you?”

The other person just laughed, “You’ve destroyed my organization far too many times, now I have your precious boyfriend. Hope you’re happy, and find me and him in time.”

After that the person hung up. 

Logan stood there.

Patton had been kidnapped, because of him. 

_________________________ General Tag List @crazy-multifandomfangirl @aceawkwardunicorn @mistythegenderqueermess

[atlas-tries]

Shatter Me

A Patton angst fic by yours truly

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Summary: All the sides have secrets, but none have one as lethal as the one Patton is keeping. Can he keep it under wraps long enough to resolve it or will the trauma of it all spell his undoing? 

Hey guys, so this has been a long time in the making (aka since January). But I finally got this finished and I’m very proud of how it turned out. This was all based on a simple headcanon I had about how Patton experiences emotional pain. I hope you enjoy it, and the next chapter will be out next Monday! Check the notes for definitive links to the next chapter.

Chapter 1: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Hurt Far More Deeply

At some point or another, all the sides had kept secrets from each other.

Mostly, it had to do with where they had been in the past or something silly, like the time Roman “accidentally” ate all of Logan’s Crofters. The others still kept some, likely to make a well-placed or dramatic reveal of it, and Patton was no different. He himself occasionally had physical manifestations of emotional pain. However, there was one thing he knew that wasn’t a secret.

Patton knew how they all really felt about him.

Sentimental.

Overbearing.

Naive.

Worthless.

Even if they rarely said any of those descriptors out loud or in his presence, the unspoken words came through loud and clear every time they thought he would mess something up. Which was in almost every video he appeared in. They thought he didn’t notice the dismissive remarks or the eye rolls whenever he had any ideas to share when Thomas had an issue that needed working through. It’s just ol’ Patton spouting off whatever random thoughts and/or dad jokes pop up in his head like always.

For the most part, Patton could handle whatever emotional turmoil they threw at him. He knew that despite what they thought, they still cared about him and valued his opinions. The occasional pain was worth it if they were happy. And they were, especially after Thomas had introduced them to his online community of Fanders (the part that made him the happiest). Even Patton himself had been ecstatic to reach out to so many other kiddos out there. At least, he was until they had gotten in front of the camera.

Yeah, his jokes didn’t land with the others, it wasn’t a big deal. That was no different than telling them in the Mindscape on most days. However, he really wanted to do that four-part harmony when Roman suggested it, even after they immediately shot it down when he came in. But Patton could shake that off, too. He was strong. So, imagine his surprise when he discovered short, thin cracks radiating from over his heart when he was changing into his cat onesie that evening. “Oh,” he said, running his hand delicately over them, “That must’ve gotten to me a little more than I thought.” No matter, though, they always went away within a few days.

Everything went back to relative normal in short order and Patton was back to being a happy pappy. The next few videos came and went without much fanfare. He was even featured by himself to help Thomas with his adultery! There was nothing better than that. The cracks didn’t return until just before they started planning out The Mind vs. The Heart.

That morning, Patton had been making breakfast for everyone as he almost always did. This morning was especially pleasant for him because Thomas had actually listened to Patton yesterday when he suggested he go and pet all the puppies in the pet store on the way home. Having that thought at the forefront made it easy to softly sing to himself as the bacon sizzled. Roman was already eating his as fast as he could fancifully manage.

“Roman, I know my food is good, but please don’t choke up on your swallow through,” Patton said with a smile, taking the last batch of bacon out of the pan and putting it on a plate. Roman just nodded and kept doing exactly what he was doing. “Say, you didn’t happen to see Logan when you came down, did you?” Patton was getting a little worried about Logan. It was early, yes, but the logical side always made his appearance long before now.

“Haben’t sheen ‘im thish morning,” Roman said with a mouthful of pancake.

Patton hummed, set his and Logan’s plates on the table, and grabbed some forks. He sat down at the table, picking at the eggs a little. He would feel better about eating when Logan came. As if on cue, soft squeaks came from the staircase. “Huh, speak of the devil,” Roman mumbled. Patton immediately perked up.

“Good morning, Logan!” Patton shouted. Logan stopped at the bottom of the stairs and covered his ears.

“Too loud, Pat,” Logan grumbled, making his way slowly to the table.

Patton softly replied, “Sorry. I made breakfast.” He couldn’t help but notice the dark circles beneath Logan’s eyes as he approached; they were almost dark enough to rival Anxiety’s. Patton was very much hoping that Roman wouldn’t notice, if only to preserve the peace (and the rest of his good mood, but Patton didn’t want that to be the focus).

“Thank you.” Logan sat and went straight for the coffee, downing half of it in only a few seconds. So far, so good. “Ugh, aren’t I a little old for cat-shaped pancakes, Patton?”

Patton shook his head with a smile. “You’re never too old to have a Patton paw-ncake!” he said cheerily, batting a pawed hand in the air for emphasis.

“Wow, looks like someone’s been to the dark sides this morning. Can we get a bag check on Logan’s eyes?” said Roman, going for another mouthful of bacon.

Logan wasn’t amused. “I’m sorry some of us have to work overtime to make Thomas make the right decisions,” he spat. “Sometimes it’s like I’m the only adult here.” Patton felt that familiar pain ghost across his chest.

“Ex-cuse me, how dare you say such a thing, and when Padre was nice enough to make you breakfast! And anyways, you are NOT the only one who has to pull late nights, Snide and Prejudiced,” Roman countered.

Patton said, “It’s fine, Roman, ple—”

“Really?” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Because it seems to me like you only keep Thomas up at ungodly hours fantasizing about the things you want.”

“Oh, and you don’t?”

“As the most important side, no, I don’t.”

“Oh well ex-cuuuuuuse me, Mr. President—”

From there it devolved into them shouting over each other. Roman slung eggs and syrup everywhere while wildly gesticulating. Logan kept smacking the table trying to make his points. Chocolate milk was going everywhere. They had never been so tense with each other.

“Um, kiddos?” Patton said. Neither of them heard him in the midst of their shouting match. “Kiddos?” he said a little louder, reaching out toward them. “Maybe if we just—”

“THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU, PATTON!” both of them yelled. Patton recoiled. Another crack split painfully across his chest. Both of them went back to screaming at each other. He couldn’t stand to see them like this, even if they were hurting him in the process. What else could he do but meet them at their level?

Patton stood abruptly and slammed his hands down on the table. “That’s ENOUGH, both of you!” he scolded. They instantly hushed, flustered and in awe that Patton could even raise his voice. He took a breath and calmly continued, “Roman, I appreciate you defending me like the noble Prince you are, but it’s okay. We know that Logan isn’t the only one that works the graveyard shift, but we shouldn’t make fun of the sides that do when they’re not in their best shape. And Logan, I know you’re tired, but—”

“Yes, from trying to mitigate the effects you had on Thomas yesterday,” Logan interrupted. “We almost adopted one of those puppies when we have neither the resources nor the time to look after one. And who was the one who had to convince him that it was a bad idea? Me!”

Even though Patton wasn’t sorry about that in the slightest, he still apologized. “You did the right thing, Logan. Why don’t you go back to bed for a little while? You’ve earned it,” Patton said. “I’ll even keep your breakfast warm for you.”

Logan nodded and left wordlessly, taking the coffee mug with him back up the stairs. With him gone, Patton looked to Roman. “You owe him an apology, mister,” said Patton.

“What? Me? He was the one being snippier than an Edward Scissorhands wannabe!” Roman cried.

“Well, you didn’t help that, now did you? But he also owes you an apology, too.” That garnered a little “oh” from the Prince. Patton sighed and took Logan’s plate to the oven, turning it on to the lowest setting.

“You know we would’ve worked it out on our own eventually, right?” Roman said. “This is just what we do.”

“I know,” Patton responded. “I think … I should start cleaning up. There’s chocolate milk everywhere.”

Roman nodded. “Okay, Padre. Is there … something I can help with, at least?” He got up and handed his mostly empty plate to Patton.

“Thanks, but I can handle it,” Patton said softly, voice barely above a whisper. He felt Roman’s hand on his shoulder and looked up at the Prince.

“You shouldn’t worry about us so much. We’ll be fine. And, uh, I promise I’ll make it up to the Grinch up there,” said Roman with a small smile.

We don’t need you smothering us.

Great! Now Patton’s thoughts were going to take it upon themselves to put translations after the other’s words! Patton tried to return a smile despite the pain in his chest growing. It must’ve convinced him because Roman, with a final pat on his shoulder, turned and left. As soon as Roman was completely out of sight, Patton rubbed at the cracks to try and soothe their aching. It never worked, but it made him feel a little less like a sad dad. Oh well. At least they’d disappear soon enough.

Or not.

A few days after Losing Motivation came out, Patton had once again busied himself in the kitchen, this time baking chocolate chip cookies while humming along to the Disney showtunes that Roman had playing in the living room. No doubt Thomas would have them stuck in his head by the end of the day. Not that it was a problem in Patton’s mind; the music really helped him ignore the constant throbbing pain that those ugly fractures left on his chest. Better to have Disney showtunes on the brain than a recent ex-boyfriend, right?

The oven timer let out a short ding! at the start of the chorus to Prince Ali. “Oh cookie, where would I be if you weren’t hooooot,” Patton sang over the lyrics. He danced over to the oven while putting on heart-patterned oven mitts. “So full of sweets from eating way more than I ouuuuggghhht. To.” He took the finished cookies out of the oven and twirled around to the music, kicking the door closed and sliding the baking sheet onto the stove in one smooth motion.

Patton made quick work of getting them off the baking sheet and onto a plate. “Cookies are ready!” he shouted. Quick, thundering steps met his cry and in seconds, Roman was in the kitchen juggling three.

“Don’t mind if I do, Pat,” said Roman. Fear never deterred Roman, not even when in the face of third degree mouth burns from oven-fresh cookies. Patton would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of his son for being so brave (even if another part of him was terrified of Roman getting hurt). “Hanksh,” he said with a mouthful of molten cookie, pretending that it wasn’t actually too hot but still doing the hashafashafa thing to cool it down while he ate.

“You’re welcome, son,” Patton replied. He looked at the cookies and remembered why he was making them in the first place. Ever since Anxiety had made himself known, Patton had been trying to reach out to him. Sure, he was dark and broody and sometimes the others had a little trouble seeing how important his contributions were, but he wasn’t the villain that they made him out to be. Anxiety deserved to feel welcome, and that was something Patton would always advocate for.

He set a few of the cookies on another plate for the rest of the sides (and himself) and poured a glass of milk. “Anxiety’s gonna love this!” He picked the cookies and milk up and danced them out of the kitchen, making sure to pass by Logan on the way. Not that it was hard, he was almost always studying at the dining room table. “Hey Logan, do you wanna eat a cookie?” Patton sung to the tune of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

Logan glanced up from his book. “I would prefer not to as I am attempting to set a good example for Thomas by abstaining from sugar,” Logan responded.

“Ah. Well, more for me and Anxiety, then!” said Patton. “If you change your mind, there are some more in the kitchen.”

Logan put the book down and said, “Hold on, are you telling me you’re still intent on making friends with him?”

“Well, yeah, what’s so bad about that?” Patton asked.

“I can’t believe I have to explain this to you again. Anxiety has no place with us, Patton, and it’s time that you stop pandering to him. There’s a very good reason why he lives with … them, and not us.”

The little fissures began slowly spreading. Patton was getting good at keeping it under wraps. And under shirts. “Now Logan, just because he’s a little different from us doesn’t mean that he has bad intentions. Sure, he started out in a bad place, but who’s to say that he can’t grow out of that? Sometimes, people just need a push in the right direction to shine. Bright like a diamond~,” Patton sang the last part, which earned him a groan. “I promise, if I felt fishy about any of this, I wouldn’t be doing it.”

“Why would you feel like a fish? Do fish even feel?” Logan said, genuinely perplexed.

Patton sighed. “Gosh, words can be tough. What I mean is that I don’t feel bad about reaching out to Anxiety, not when he’s been reaching out to us in his own way. I don’t get the feeling that he means us harm.”

“But you have to admit that when it comes to character judgement, you can be too forgiving,” Logan said.

“… Is that a bad thing?” Patton quietly replied, wincing a little as the cracks splintered further.

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Patton, are you feeling alright?” he asked.

Oh, no.

“Of … course I am!” Patton said. “I’m Morality, why wouldn’t I be feeling?”

Logan grunted and adjusted his glasses. “Let me rephrase that. Patton, moments ago, you clearly indicated you were in pain. Am I interpreting this cue correctly?”

“Um …” Patton stalled. Maybe it was time to tell someone about this; it wasn’t like he could keep hiding it forever. With a sigh, he replied, “Yeah.” Oh no no no no, he couldn’t do this.

Logan stood there silently for a few moments before realizing that no explanation was going to come out of him without prompting. “Would you care to explain what’s causing it? I can perform first aid if necessary,” he said, stepping toward Patton.

Patton backed away and put his hands up. “I’m alright, really. It’s just … a little heartburn is all. You know me, not waiting until the cookies are cool to start munchin’! It should go away soon,” he replied. He couldn’t describe how badly he wanted to get out from under Logan’s scrutiny.

“If that’s all, then, here,” Logan conjured some Tums, “please take two of these.” He offered the bottle to Patton, who took it with a smile.

“Thank you, Logan, where would we be without you?” said Patton. He took some out of the bottle and made a show of chewing them up. Even if he didn’t really need them, he wanted to be sure that Logan felt listened to.

“What is that on your neck?” Logan asked, gesturing on himself where he thought he saw something.

“Hmm?” Patton felt around in that general area, squeaking softly when he felt a small but deep fracture across his skin. How did he not notice that before? Quick, Patton, think of something! “It’s uh … it’s chocolate!”

Logan’s eyes narrowed again. “Chocolate?”

Patton smiled. “Yeeeaahhhh, I must’ve gotten chocolate on myself when I was making these cookies. Silly me,” he lied, waving a dismissive hand. Well, it wasn’t totally a lie; he did still have some chocolate on his hands.

That seemed to sate the logical side. “Very well then, be sure to wash that off. And I know that no matter what I say, you’re still going to take your cookies to Anxiety. Just, please be careful around him, no matter how he makes you feel. We do still need you to help keep Thomas functioning normally,” said Logan.

“Thank you, Logan, I appreciate that. I promise I’ll be careful,” Patton said with a smile. Logan gave him a curt nod and went back to his studies. Some of the pain subsided with that last comment, which Patton was very grateful for. If it had been anywhere near what it was before, he couldn’t have done what he had set out to do without cuing Anxiety on to his problems. With as much of a smile as he could muster, Patton picked up the cookies and milk and headed down to Anxiety’s room. Thankfully, Logan didn’t notice him adjusting his cardigan along the way.

Patton always thought it was odd that the doorway to the darker side of Thomas’s mind would be inside the broom closet at the end of the hall. In another way, it made a lot of sense when he thought about it a little harder. Anything he wanted hidden would be stowed in here for safe keeping until he was ready to confront it. Plus, it made an excellent visual pun that made Patton giggle every once in a while. He opened the door, carefully balancing the plate on his arm.

“Let’s see, last time I made two rights, a left at the weird eyeball painting that stares at you, another right, then a left, and it’s the last door on the left,” Patton mumbled to himself as he walked through the dark side’s labyrinthine corridors. “Please let there be no spiders this time.”

In between the first two rights, a yellow-gloved hand slithered its way around the edge of the corner in front of Patton, making him stop dead in his tracks. No no no, not now! “Well well well, if it isn’t Morality,” Deceit stepped out in front of Patton, “have you finally decided to join us AND bring us cookies? I know we would all be devastated if you did.” His ever-present smirk seemed even more delighted than normal.

“Um, no. I’m just bringing Anxiety some cookies like I’ve been doing for a while now. You know that,” Patton replied. This definitely wasn’t making him uneasy.

“Indeed I do, and I also know something else.” Deceit strode forward until he was uncomfortably close. “You’ve been hiding something I find to be … most exquisite. If you keep that up, you’re liable to put me out of a job. Tell me, how long do you think you can play my game but keep me away from the field? Or even better,” he slowly circled Patton, eyes ever trained on him, “how long do you think you can keep their prying eyes away from your little secret?” He gently touched the center of Patton’s chest, which made him hiss and nearly drop the cookies and milk.

Patton had to take a moment to catch his breath. “I refuse to … make this their problem,” he gasped. He could’ve sworn he saw a few glowing drops of his essence through his shirt where Deceit’s finger had been.

“Oh, of course you don’t. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that one. They’re obviously trying to hurt you by saying and doing all of these little things and telling them this would only make them want to do it more,” Deceit said, coming to stop in front of Patton.

“Look, I know you’re just trying to look out for me in your … own way and I appreciate it, but please, Dee … I can’t tell them this. It would break them even more than it’s breaking me— and I won’t have it.”

Deceit’s smile faded. “You don’t want to listen to reason? Fine. But I leave you with this,” he shook a finger and slowly began sinking out, “what would hurt them more: the others finding out about this now or the others finding out about this when you’re in itty. Bitty. Pieces?” His last words echoed through the empty halls, chilling Patton to his core.

He knew Deceit was right, in his own roundabout way. That was one of his greatest assets: he was a brilliant analyst despite his airs, one that could keenly rival Logan’s perceptive inclinations. It was also what Patton dreaded about him. He couldn’t hide anything from Deceit, not that there was much he could do to hide all the cracks given how many there were.

“No!” Patton said to himself. This wasn’t the time for getting absorbed in thoughts! This was supposed to be bonding-with-his-precious-anxious-baby time, gosh darn it, and he was not going to waste any more time thinking about all the things that were hurting him! Putting on his best determined dad face, Patton quickly marched toward Anxiety’s room.

Before he could get too far, though, he saw Anxiety’s familiar, brooding figure lurking through the halls. He perked up almost imperceptibly when he saw Patton coming. “Oh, there you are. Not like I was worried about you being late or anything,” he said, fiddling with his hoodie strings.

Patton just smiled, relieved that Anxiety hadn’t noticed the little, slightly glowing stains on the front of his shirt. “Of course not. Shall we?” he replied. Anxiety nodded.

The two shared a nice, albeit short, time in Anxiety’s room talking through everything they could. Anxiety’s particular favorite seemed to be picking through Disney movies (or really any movie) to find all of the dark origins or morbid underlying themes they held. While Patton liked being able to spend time with Anxiety, the combination of being in his room for longer than around half an hour and the negative talk were lying heavily on his chest. Still, he never let it show that those cracks were slowly spider-webbing across his skin.

By the end of the day, every step was a Herculean task for Patton. He barely made it back to his room without stumbling. Still, there was one last thing to be done: survey the damage he had accrued. He trudged into the bathroom and grasped the sink with shaking arms, head hanging heavily. “Alright, head up on three, Patton. One, two, three,” he said, letting go of the sink and looking up in the mirror. Despite his weathered appearance, not much could be seen with his shirt still on aside from two small fractures that forked up either side of his neck. The few that had made it past his sleeves were so thin that he didn’t even notice them at first. Patton sighed. He really didn’t want to look at the epicenter of the damage. “Right after this, you can go to bed,” he bartered with his reflection. He gently lifted the hem of his shirt up and nearly fainted from what he saw.

The cracks at the center of Patton’s chest had turned more into chasms where his skin had chipped away like broken porcelain. His essence shone through, now a raging blue storm that threatened to break through the invisible barrier where his skin should be. From there, the light bled through into the smaller fissures that spanned his entire torso, front and back. He knew it was bad, but it had never been to this extent. He gently touched the edge of the center break and accidentally dipped his finger into the blue fluid. The tears he had repressed welled up in his eyes, spurred on by a jolt of raw emotion. Patton quickly wiped the fluid off onto his pants. The tears no longer had any driving force behind them.

“Oh Patton, you’ve got to remember not to do that,” he once again told his reflection. He had forgotten how much emotional sway his essence had when he touched it. Patton knew he couldn’t keep the happy act up like this. So, what else could he do but make himself as scarce as possible until it healed at least a little bit?

And that’s exactly what he did.

[starcats1219]

So this is a fic based of @ens-vector 's dtiys. I'm not an artist, so instead I wrote a little ficlet. This isn't an entry, I just saw the art and got a bit of inspiration. Hope yall enjoy!

Janus was getting ready for the light sides movie night. Every couple weeks, the 'light sides' had a movie marathon, while he and Remus stayed back in the 'dark' side of the mindscape and had their own. After the events of Putting Others First though, Patton had insisted Janus join them for the following movie night. Nothing Janus said could deter him, so Janus was forced to come. He sat on his bed, willing himself to get ready. Patton had informed him the theme was onesies, and they were all required to wear them. Janus hesitated, before snapping his fingers to find himself wearing a yellow snake onesie. He looked in the mirror, fixing his hair under his hat a bit, before taking a deep breath and moving out of his room into the light side of the mindscape.

He appeared on the couch, a few feet away from Patton on the floor, in his cat onesie. The dad figure smiled and waved at him, but it didn't escape Janus that it seemed slightly faked and forced. He gave a tiny smile back, before glancing around the room. Logan was sitting on the other end of the couch, in his unicorn onesie while sipping from a mug of coffee. Virgil was in between the two of them, in his Jack Skellington pajamas. He flipped Janus off, while Janus pretended to not notice. Also on the floor, there was Roman in his Beast onesie. Janus felt himself redden with embarrassment and look away. They hadn't spoken since the last episode, and so things were still awkward between the two. 

Patton, luckily, seemed to notice their discomfort, and clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Okay guys!" The moral side said, smiling brightly, "let's start with our first movie: Frozen!" Roman cheered, while Janus groaned internally. Didn't they just watch this? Logan seemed to have the same idea, for he protested like Janus wanted to.

Logan, and internally Janus, lost the battle, mostly because Roman put up such a fuss at the reluctance. Ever the peacemaker, Patton calmed the two sides down, and put the movie on. All the sides, save for Janus, settled on their spots on the couch to watch the show, even Logan. Janus found he couldn't relax, not in the presence of people he still had a very tentative relationship with. He focused on the screen, hoping his nerves would leave as the movie went on.

They didn't.

As the night continued, Janus found his anxiety only rose at the thought of some conflict happening between him and another side. Namely, Roman or Virgil, maybe even both. Logan always seemed rather neutral to him, and Patton and him seemed to come to an understanding, but his relationship with the other two was...thorny, to say the least. Janus could feel his breath quicken, and his hands start to shake. That is, until he felt a hand on his thigh, making him look away from the screen in surprise. It was Virgil.

At his questioning gaze, Virgil whispered so the others couldn't hear, "I could feel you panicking from across the room, are you alright? Wait-no, of course you're not alright. Um, okay, can you name five things you can see?" Bewildered at the strange request, Janus complied, and continued to do so as Virgil asked him to list other things, such as what he could feel or smell. Afted finishing the last one, something he could taste, Janus found himself feeling a lot better. He tentatively smiled at the old dark side, and Virgil smiled back. 

Janus expected the anxious side to leave after helping him, but was surprised when he stayed. Not that he minded, of course. He never hated Virgil, just missed him, the other side just hated him for no reason he really understood. Virgil settled back onto the couch, leaning into Janus, while the deceitful side tensed up at the unexpectedness. He soon relaxed though, when he realized that Virgil was planning to stay. 

Janus tried to keep it in, he really did. But the pure joy in having Virgil not be hissing and cursing his very existence, the joy of Virgil staying, it was too much. His tongue stuck out, just the tiniest bit, as his cheeks flushed just slightly. A little blep. And for the rest of the night, that's where the two stayed. Even after the movie was over. Virgil, leaning into Janus, and Janus resting his arm around Virgil. The two fell asleep, and the rest of the sides had dozed off as well. (Although, Patton did get a couple photos of the two beforehand)

And sure, things weren't perfect, not even close. But they were getting better, and that was okay.

Words: 792

Anygay, that's all for now. Thank you all so much for reading, have a great day!

-Star

[jwillowwolf]

Magic and Miracles - Chapter 8

Sanders Sides Big Bang fic, Chapter 8!

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter > | Masterlist

Summary: “Not a morning person?”

“Does staying up until five am count?”

“Wh- no! That’s actually a bit concerning. Please don’t tell me you were up until five then only slept two hours before we started walking.”

“I won’t tell you that then.”

Warning/s: food mention.

Characters: Logan, Virgil, OCs, Roman, Remy, Remus, Patton, Janus, Emile.

Tag List: @theimprobabledreamersworld @remy-please-come-back

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8 | Fondness

Logan stared at the ceiling above him. It seemed like just yesterday he had been doing this out of boredom, waiting for when everyone was supposed to tour the manor. He’d been so anxious about what studying here would mean and how he would socialise with his classmates. Now though, they were all his friends, and he found himself mildly amused that he’d ever been nervous about getting to know them.

This room that had seemed so strange before had become home. Everything from the view outside his window to the softness of the bed was as familiar as his room at the bakery. Soon though, this would no longer be his home.

With the upcoming license test, he would officially become a wizard, and therefore no longer need to remain a student. He’d miss being here and having his friends so close. Come to think of it, he would miss his friends greatly too. After the test, they would be returning to their far off homes. Virgil didn’t live very far off, but Logan felt that it wouldn’t be proper for someone like him to be visiting the prince.

In a couple of days, all of Logan’s dreams about being a wizard would come true, yet he would lose the dreams he never knew he had…

“Rise and shine, witches! You’ve got a big day ahead!”

Logan shook his head, as if that would clear it of any unwanted thoughts, and got out of bed. Today he couldn’t be distracted by silly emotions. Remy was sending them on a huge quest to refine their skills before the big test.

At breakfast, everyone seemed excited for the quest. It was going to be an overnight kind of thing and they were doing it on their own. They had all been taught to teleport and a special spell that would summon Remy if the need arose, but they were still going to be doing this entirely independent of any other adults.

“Hey, you okay L?” Virgil asked as they were walking down the hall.

“Hmm?”

“You look like you’re trying to solve the meaning of life.”

“...What?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You look broody, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is… wrong, per se.”

“Per se?”

“I’m probably just feeling tired from staying up last night studying the notes Remy gave us.”

“Well, hopefully, breakfast lifts your energy, because we have a long walk ahead of us.”

Logan didn't have time to even respond to that as he was tackled to the ground by a hug. "Everleigh? What are you doing here?"

"I came to wish my friends good luck of course! Your dad is here too."

Sure enough, Emile was there in the dining room waiting on everyone else with a special spread of pastries for breakfast.

"Hey kids, I figured you'd want something good to start your big day."

"It's not even test-day yet Mr Picani, but thank you! Your pastries are incredible." Willow declared.

"Well, thanks kiddo. Today isn't your test but it's still a pretty big day. I will be sure to make pastries for test day too though."

"It's not that big a quest really," Remy said. "It's just a longer trip than I usually send them on for ingredient collecting."

"Considering it's a two-day journey to retrieve a rare fruit from a cave, I doubt calling today big would be an exaggeration." Virgil pointed out.

"Back when I was learning magic, we didn't even get teleportation spells for coming back. We'd have to walk there and back, and as quickly as we could too." Remy stated.

"Whatever you say, old man."

"Old? Did you just call me old?" Remy said in a greatly offended tone.

Virgil smirked. "Yup."

Remy turned to Emile. "See what disrespect I have to deal with? You know what, I'm not even going to miss you, sassy little ankle-biters."

The teens all snickered at Remy's dramatics and then dug into their breakfast.

“So, are you guys excited?” Emile asked.

“For the quest itself, not so much. But for the afterparty,” Roman said.

“Yeah, Remy promised us that we’d even get the next day off school, so we could stay up as late as we want!” Remus added.

“I have a feeling I’m going to regret that deal,” Remy whispered to Emile, who nodded with a giggle.

“Can I come to the party?” Everleigh asked.

“Of course,” Remy replied. “They seem to get into less trouble with you around. I’m half tempted to ask you to join them on this quest of theirs.”

“We’re not that accident prone, thank you very much. We’ve kept ourselves out of trouble all month,” Janus pointed out.

“Yeah, and I��m worried you’re due for a disaster,” Remy sighed.

Logan nodded. “Statistically speaking, it’s odd that we’ve gone this long without something happening.”

“That’s comforting…” Virgil muttered.

Janus shrugged. “We’re just getting better at self-preservation. We’ll be fine.”

---

“I retract my earlier statement,” Janus declared as they were walking. “We’re all going to die of exhaustion.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Jan, that’s my job,” Roman stated.

“And we’ve barely been walking for half a day now,” Willow pointed out.

“Half a day, mainly uphill,” Janus reiterated.

“Perhaps if we all talk about something, our minds won’t be so concentrated on the tiredness,” Patton suggested.

Logan nodded. “Yes, doing something else should distract our brains from any pain or exhaustion. Either with a stimulating conversation or some kind of sing-along.”

“I know a good song!” Remus declared. “She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes-!”

“No! You are not starting that nightmare up again,” Roman interrupted with a stern glare at his grinning twin.

“Oh, come on, Roro. You love this song!”

“I passionately despise that song.”

“All I heard was ‘passionately’, do you want to marry this song, Ro?” Remus asked. “Or do you just want to--”

“Shut up!” Roman shouted, his face turning as red as Remus’s eyes.

“What do you have against that song?” Willow inquired.

“It’s the way she sings it,” Roman explained. “It’s not appropriate.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “All I said was-”

“No! You have lost speaking privileges.” Roman declared.

“Well then, is there anything else we can talk about?” Janus asked,

“We could play a game,” Patton suggested.

“But not eye spy or word chain,” Virgil immediately added.

Roman huffed. “Alright then, how about you suggest a game, stormcloud?”

“A race.”

Janus stared at him dumbfounded. You’re kidding, right?

Virgil shook his head. “Nope. Let’s all race to… that archway, the winner gets first pick of the treats Mr Picani gave us for lunch.”

Everyone, despite their tiredness from walking, exchanged looks of determination.

“Let’s go!”

---

Once it was close to sunset, the seven finally halted their walking and made camp with the supplies they’d been given. They had two tents, a good amount of firewood, plenty of food to go around, and sleeping bags for each of them. Janus started the fire and began heating up a pot of stew for dinner.

Remus laid himself flat on the ground. “Gods, everything hurts.”

Patton sighed. “I told you not to jump through that bush.”

“I didn’t know it was hiding a steep incline.”

“I told you it was hiding a steep incline,” Roman huffed.

“Well, when have I ever listened to you?”

Roman just sighed in exasperation, too tired to continue arguing.

“The healing spell should only take a little longer to complete,” Virgil said. “So the pain will eventually fade.”

“Eventually?!”

“Remus, you basically jumped off a cliff, please stop complaining about the consequences of your actions,” Willow said.

Remus looked at her with a raised brow. “Someone’s in a bad mood.”

“They’re hangry,” Janus stated. “And so am I, when is this thing going to finish heating up?!”

“I still have some pastries from lunch to snack on,” Patton offered.

“Oh, Patty, you’re a saint!” Willow declared joyfully.

Logan watched his teammates with a faint smile. These interactions were starkly different from how they used to treat each other in the beginning. Well, Remus and Roman still bickered, but they were siblings. Janus and Roman no longer acted like they wanted to kill one another. Willow spoke with confidence to everyone instead of their meek tones. Virgil became more social and even laughed and smiled along with the group now. Patton was still his kind-hearted self, although now he was a lot more appreciated for it.

It was a far cry from the dysfunctional class of misfits that they had been. And in Logan’s opinion, it was a real improvement. He couldn’t believe that he’d once been so set on looking out only for himself when now he was so determined to help his team. His friends…

“-gan? Logan?”

“Hmm?”

Virgil gave him a small smile. “You spaced out, I was asking if you wanted your stew now.”

“Oh, um, yes, thank you.”

Virgil handed him one of the bowls in his hands and then sat beside him. “Mind if I ask what’s got you so deep in thought?”

“I was just thinking... about how much I’ll miss all of you,” Logan admitted. “Once we’ve all passed the test and can move on with our lives, the twins will sail off to their island, Janus and Willow will go back to Evergreen Valley, Patton will return to his parents and brother, and you’ll- well, you know…”

“Do you really think after all we’ve been through together, we’d abandon each other that easily?”

“It’s possible.”

“So is the end of the world, but tomorrow is just as possible as that.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Well, look at it this way. If you throw a coin up in the air, there’s an equal chance of it landing on either heads or tails, right?”

“Yes.”

“So there is a chance that we’ll all grow apart, but there’s a bigger chance that we’ll stay friends despite the distance. We’ve got magic to take us back and forth anyway. Staying in touch will be easier than you think.”

“Well, what about your whole secret identity thing?”

“After the test, I’m going to finally show the kingdom who I am.”

Logan paused. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I feel like I’m finally ready to take on the responsibility of having a public image. That means I’ll need to surround myself with the right kinds of people, and you all are exactly the kinds of people I want by my side.”

“Even me? The non-noble?”

“Especially you, Logan. I mean, titles, they’re nothing more than titles. Just words that give a person a position. You, despite the position in life you were given, worked hard to become the first-ever non-noble mage. Title or no title, you are an incredible person Logan, and I’m grateful to have even met you.”

Logan searched Virgil’s face for any hint of insincerity but found none. Those stormy grey eyes held no dishonesty. Only… Fondness? Logan wasn’t good enough at understanding emotions to know exactly what Virgil was feeling, but he felt that it wasn’t anything malicious.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

“No problem. So, do you have any specific plans for what you want to do after the test?”

“Well, I wanted to open up a medical practice.”

“I thought you specialised in air magic? If you’re going into doctoring, why not take up healing magic?”

“I planned on specializing in helping people transition for an affordable price.”

“Oh? That sounds interesting.”

“It was the whole reason I got interested in studying magic. I remember that one day some people came into the bakery, talking about transitional magic. I knew then already that I wanted to do something about my body. The dysphoria was… difficult. So I looked into having someone do the spell for me, but even the cheapest of mages charged far too much for my dad or me to afford. So I took matters into my own hands and decided I would learn magic myself and help others like me to be comfortable in their own skin.”

“That’s a noble cause. It’s almost like what I wanted to do with having a magic school.”

“Oh?”

“I always felt like it was unfair that so many people missed out on the chance to use magic. Being half-fae, I was surrounded by it for my entire life. The council keeps track of who can use magic and is worthy of using it, but the only people able to use it are the rich nobles with all the access to tutors and stuff. It’s like having only certain men be knights, instead of allowing anyone who wants to fight to take up arms. There are so many people out there with the potential to be great, but because of how they were born, they will never have a chance to reach that potential.”

“You care a lot about people.”

“So do you.”

“I suppose that’s a good thing.”

The two sat silently as they ate, but the silence between them felt comfortable. However, Logan found himself once again questioning what he felt towards Virgil, whenever he glanced over at him. His heart seemed to both beat faster and sometimes skip beats altogether. Especially since they were sitting so close together at the moment. They were so close that their knees kept on brushing against each other.

"Uh, Logan?"

"Yes?"

Virgil tugged at his cape's hood. "Can I… ask you an important question?"

Logan tilted his head to the side curiously. "Sure."

"W-"

“Hey, do you two want seconds?” Remus yelled, interrupting the boy’s conversation. “Or can I have the rest?”

“Remus, if you eat all that you’ll get a stomach ache,” Patton warned.

Ignoring his boyfriend’s worry, Remus asked, “Who bets I can finish this in five minutes?”

“You’re an idiot,” Janus stated blankly.

“And a coward. Aim for three!” Roman encouraged.

Logan shook his head. “Well, hopefully, Remus’s antics are the worst things we’ll have to worry about.”

Virgil shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

---

The next morning, after an unpleasant wake-up call from Roman screaming, because Remus had drenched him in water, everyone got up and continued their trek to the cave where the special fruit Remy wanted, grew. Janus and Roman were taking the lead, bickering about something between themselves, with Willow, Remus and Patton walking close behind them, and Virgil and Logan tailing everyone. Willow and Remus would dash away from the group every now and again to grab flowers for Patton so that he could make them all flower crowns. Which was hard to do while walking but he seemed to be managing.

Logan noted that Virgil still seemed very tired. “Not a morning person?”

“Does staying up until five am count?”

“Wh- no! That’s actually a bit concerning. Please don’t tell me you were up until five then only slept two hours before we started walking.”

“I won’t tell you that then.”

“You need sleep, Virgil.”

“I’ll be fine. I have a bit of midnight elixir from Remy that should wake me up.”

Logan shook his head. “What on earth kept you up so late?”

Virgil shrugged. “Thoughts. My mind was feeling really busy last night. Thinking about… everything.”

“Are you worried about what’s going to happen when…” Logan trailed off.

“Kind of, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. After all, I’ve got both my parents to support me through it. Plus all of you… if the others are as accepting as you.”

“Your race won’t change how they see you, Virgil.”

“You can’t know for sure.”

“Perhaps it’s not a guarantee but the chance of them being loyal is infinitesimal.”

“So small.”

“What, no. That would be the chance of them rejecting you.”

“Then why would you say infinitesimal? It means extremely small.”

“Wait, what?”

“Y-yeah… Logan, did you not know what infinitesimal meant?”

“…”

“Oh my gods, you didn’t.”

“Don’t laugh at me! I don’t know everything and that’s perfectly normal.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re like a super genius.”

“You think I’m a genius.”

“Of course. You’ve proved it time and time again. You’re incredibly smart. In fact, the chances of you not knowing something are… infinitesimal.”

Logan glared. “How dare you use a compliment to tease me, you… sparkly-eyed jerk.”

“My eyes sparkle?”

“When you’re happy, yeah. They look kind of like stars.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

Logan froze. “I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries-”

“You can say I have nice eyes, L. I only meant the poetic kind of romantic. I’m sure you weren’t trying to flirt. Unless you were?”

“I- uh, no. I mean you are quite attractive and I-” Logan stopped himself before he could accidentally confess anything more.

“So you do think I’m attractive at least.”

“...Yes.”

“Well, thanks. I feel the same way about you.”

Logan blushed. “O-oh… thank you...”

The rest of the walk was silent as Logan tried to calm his heart rate down. He was concerned with how fast it was going considering the casual pace they were travelling at. Subconsciously though, he knew that it was what Virgil had said that made him feel like this. He could pretend all he wanted, that there was something else wrong, but he knew that the cause of all this was his feelings towards a certain grey-eyed boy.

The fact that they had almost just flirted with each other was really not helping him. Especially since he wanted so badly to actually flirt with him. He wasn’t exactly sure of his full attraction to Virgil but he liked the idea of flirting with him. Exchanging compliments and maybe holding hands or even… kissing him? That idea made his heart skip a beat.

So basically he was having a gay panic all the way up to the cave. The one thing that distracted him from completely freezing was looking at his surroundings and categorizing all the plants he saw. Beside the cave entrance, he noted there were some berry bushes growing. Then, he saw a pebble fall from above the entrance and glanced up to see what had pushed it.

Time seemed to slow down when Logan saw the boulder perched there. It looked like it was about to fall and crush Virgil, Patton and him before they got into the cave. He grabbed Virgil’s wrist and pushed Patton ahead of them as quickly as possible to get inside of the cave before the boulder came tumbling down with a bunch of other large rocks that now sealed the entrance.

“Holy- are you guys okay?!” Willow asked.

“Pat!” Remus ran to Patton’s side immediately and helped him up.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Logan saved us.”

Virgil stared wide-eyed at the rocks. "By Ysla’s bow, that was close. Are you alright, Logan?”

“I’m fine. Just glad I saw what was going to happen before we got squished.”

“How the hel did that even happen? There’s no way that was a coincidence,” Janus commented.

“Well, I don’t know what else it could have been. Maybe that was the big trouble that Remy was worried we’d get into,” Roman said.

“Good thing we have the porthole spell to get home then. I don’t think that there’s any way we could get back through here without it taking half an eternity,” Willow declared.

After that scare, the group continued on deeper into the cave. They knew the tree grew in a central chamber surrounded by glowing moss. There was some of this glowing moss on the walls, illuminating their path so they didn’t have to use a light spell or anything.

Soon enough, they reached the chamber. From there they just had to get the fruit from the tree, make a porthole, and go home for their after party. Except there was one problem.

A giant mole.

“I think we’re cursed.”

---

A/N: thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. I'll be posting two chapters a day until the full fic is up, so if you want to be tagged, you can just ask.

I'd love to hear what you thought about the chapter if you wouldn't mind commenting. Thanks again for reading! Here's hoping you have a magical day 💜

[ironwoman359]

Love Song for a Siren

Summary: Life aboard the pirate ship The Sea Serpent is as perfect as Roman, Patton, and Logan could hope for, but a startling discovery turns their lives...and their hearts...upside down. 

Ships: Established Moralogince, eventual LAMP, side Dukeceit

Content Warnings: Mentions of whaling, piracy (the swashbuckling kind), sympathetic deceit, sympathetic remus, general fear/anxiety, being trapped/captured.

Word Count: 5,407

Read on AO3 here

My Fic Masterlist Commission Info Ko-fi

A/N: @vintage-squid, surprise! I’m your secret santa! I’m so glad you enjoyed the story, I had a blast writing it! Thank you to @theinvisiblespoon for beta reading this fic, you’re the absolute best! I have at least two more fics for this AU planned, a prequel that tells the story of Roman and Remus coming to be crew members aboard the Sea Serpent (cuz boy howdy is that a tale), and a sequel that pits our now established LAMP boys against an external threat. Both elements were ideas that I had for this story/universe that just didn’t make it into the final version due to time/length, so let me know if you’d like to be tagged in those future stories, or if you’d like to be on my general writing taglist. As always, comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated. Love you guys! -Taylor <3

--- --- ---

“All hands on deck!”

Roman grinned and scampered down from his perch in the crow’s nest, his boots hitting the deck with a satisfying *thud.* The sky above him was clear and bright, and a cool ocean breeze rustled through his hair, granting him a reprieve from the heat of the sun. The gentle sway of the ship, once so strange and foreign to him, was now a familiar, soothing motion, and Roman’s chest swelled with confidence. He pulled his rapier from his belt and swiped it through the air with a flourish, winking at the ship’s navigator who was standing nearby.

“Just once, I’d like to see you answer Patton’s call without all your typical fanfare,” the man said, raising an eyebrow at Roman.

“What? My brother, pass up a chance to be dramatic?” a cheerful squawk called out, and then Remus was beside them, throwing one arm around Roman and jostling him playfully. “That’ll be the day.”

“Indeed, the one that we all long for,” the navigator agreed, and Roman pouted before letting his features slide into a smirk.

“Oh, come on Logan, you know you love me,” Roman crooned, and his smile widened as Logan’s cheeks became dusted with pink.

“Unfortunately, yes,” he said as Roman wriggled out from Remus’s grip to peck him on the lips. “However did I let that happen?”

“Okay you two, cut it out!” Patton chided as he walked over. “You’re both too adorable and it’s not fair, ‘cause I very much want to kiss you both, but we don’t have time right now!”

“Later, my love,” Roman promised, blowing the ship’s quartermaster a kiss of his own. Patton pretended to catch it out of the air and held it close to his heart, winking before he turned and addressed the larger crowd of sailors that had gathered on deck. 

“We’ve adjusted course to intercept a ship, prepare for boarding!” Patton called. “And standby for the captain’s orders!”

As if on cue, the captain stepped out onto the deck, surveying his crew at work for a moment before turning to Patton.

“What’s the target?”

“It looks like a whaling ship,” Patton said with a grimace, and the captain snarled.

“Right. The captain should be worth a half decent ransom then, plus there should be plenty of valuable cargo on board. We’ll disable the ship when we’re finished then leave the rest of the crew to their own devices, if they aren’t idiots they should be able to survive long enough to make whaling seem like a very unattractive occupation to their buddies back home.”

Patton nodded, then turned back to the crew.

“Ready about!” he called to them, then nodded to Roman. “Ro, take point on the first raiding crew.”

“Oooh, Dee, your mask!” Remus suddenly cried, before dashing into the captain’s quarters without another word. He emerged a moment later, handing over the mask before planting a kiss on the captain’s cheek.

“Oh, so you have time for kisses, but I don’t,” Roman teased, and Remus stuck his tongue out at him.

“Captain’s privileges,” Dee said with a smirk before sliding the mask down over the left side of his face, carved features and painted green scales covering the burn that marred his skin.

“Ro, come on!” Patton called again, and Roman turned his attention to the whaler that was still approaching them, not yet realizing that the innocuous looking Sea Serpent was actually a pirate vessel.

“Heave to!” Patton shouted, and Logan pulled on the ship’s wheel until the Sea Serpent was directly in the path of the approaching whaler.

“Ready canons!” Dee called, and Patton relayed the order to the gunmen below deck. “On my command! Ready?”

Roman gripped his sword hilt, a smile growing on his face despite himself. Right here, standing on the deck of his ship with a sword in his hand and his two loves by his side, was exactly where Roman wanted to be.

“Fire!”

--- --- ---

It didn’t take long for the crew of the whaler, called The Carlotta, to surrender, and before long, Patton was leading a small party through the ship to look for anything worth looting. As soon as he stepped below decks, however, he had to stop. He waved the other crew members on ahead of him and leaned against a nearby support beam, taking in several deep gulps of air through his mouth. Unfortunately, that didn’t do much to alleviate the stench.

The cargo hold was full of dozens upon dozens of barrels, and a foul, fishy scent clung to the air around them like mold. The smell was bad enough, but that combined with the thought of what was actually in the barrels was enough to make Patton gag on the spot. He, like Dee, was not fond of the practice of whaling, but while Dee would still bring the whale blubber onboard the Sea Serpent so they could sell it themselves and turn a profit, Patton would just as soon dump the whole batch back into the ocean so he didn’t have to think about it for too long. He was just grateful that they hadn’t come upon The Carlotta when she’d taken a fresh kill; money or no, message or no, Patton was not about to deal with looting a ship floating beside a dead whale carcass.

“Quartermaster!”

Patton looked up to see one of the younger crew members coming towards him, their eyes as round as saucers.

“What is it, kiddo? And I’ve told you, just Patton is fine.”

“Right, yessir–I mean, Patton. But, um, you need you see this!”

“What is it?” Patton asked again, following the young sailor deeper into the hold.

“I...I don’t know, sir, you’re just...going to have to see for yourself.”

Thoroughly intrigued now, Patton let himself be led into the back corner of the cargo hold where he was met with a peculiar sight. What appeared to be a large iron kettle, which Patton recognized as part of the tryworks that whalers would use to boil the whale blubber down into oil, was sitting in the middle of the open space. The kettle itself wasn’t what struck Patton as odd though, it was its placement below decks. The ship had clearly recently brought in a new whale, and Patton remembered seeing the other kettle in its proper place on top of the furnace up on deck. What on earth was this doing down here?

The other thing that was confusing was the large slat of crisscrossed iron bars that had been laid haphazardly over the top of the kettle. If Patton had to guess, he’d say that the whalers had taken the door off the ship brig and used it as a sort of cap, and for extra measure, a few canon balls had been placed on top to provide additional weight. Three other crew members were standing around the kettle, looking inside with something akin to awe on their faces.

“What’s going on?” Patton asked as he approached, and the crewmen just pointed, stepping back so Patton could peer into the kettle himself.

He didn’t know whether to be amazed or horrified.

“Get the captain,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “He needs to see this.”

The sailors nodded and hurried off to find Dee, leaving Patton alone to stare at what they’d found in growing disbelief.

Lying tangled in a net at the bottom of the kettle in about a half-foot of water was...some sort of creature. At first glance, Patton had thought the long, slippery tail belonged to a strange fish or eel, but as his eyes traveled upward, that thought was quickly dismissed from his mind. Halfway up the creature’s body, the scales gave way to smooth purple skin and a surprisingly human shaped torso, despite the fins on the creature’s sides and elbows. A set of gills was visible on the side of its neck, and a shock of dark hair fell around the creature’s ears, or at least, the wide, fan-shaped fins that protruded from where the ears would be on a human. It’s chest was rising in short, quick bursts, and Patton didn’t need to be a medical expert to tell that it was having trouble breathing.

Despite growing up in a port town and being around seamen for most of his life, Patton had never really put much stock into superstition, or the wild tales of sea monsters and magic that sailors brought back from their ventures out onto the open ocean. Sailors in his hometown tended to drink as much as they talked, and while their stories made for good entertainment, he’d never really believed any of them. And yet, staring down at the creature in the kettle, he knew now that some of the tales had to be true.

“What is it?”

Patton turned at the sound of Dee’s voice, and he found that there was only one thing he could say.

“Dee...they have a mermaid.”

As if on cue, the mermaid stirred, twisting in the kettle and letting out a muffled hiss as it strained against the net that had its arms pinned against its sides. Dee and Patton looked down, and Patton bit his tongue to keep himself from whimpering.

The eyes that met their gaze were wide with fear, but they narrowed in an instant as the mermaid hissed again, flaring out its fins in warning. Patton was sure that if it were able, the creature would be baring its teeth at them, but somehow the net had gotten tangled in such a way that it was wrapped around its face and digging into its mouth. If Patton had to guess, the mermaid had tried to bite its way out of the net and only succeeded in trapping itself further.

Patton looked up at Dee, who still hadn’t said anything and was staring into the kettle with a blank expression, which Patton knew meant he didn’t want to give away what he was thinking.

“Dee, we can’t just leave him here,” Patton said quietly.

“What other choices do we have?” Dee asked, raising an eyebrow. “Cut it loose and throw it back into the ocean?”

Patton glanced down at the creature again, his eyes traveling over the places where the net was digging into its skin. One of the sections was wrapped so tightly around its tail that it was cutting into the flesh, and Patton shook his head.

“He’s hurt...if we just threw him back into the ocean as is who knows what could happen to him? He needs time to recover.”

“So what do you propose? We can’t haul the tryworks onto the Sea Serpent while on the open ocean. And even if we could, if healing is the main goal, I don’t think curled up tight in a pot would be the best place to keep it.”

Patton chewed on his bottom lip, thinking.

“They haven’t finished fixing that damaged dinghy belowdecks yet,” he offered. “But she should hold water.”

Dee blinked.

“Are you suggesting that we fill the dinghy up with water like it’s some rich landlubber’s bathtub and...what, just keep a pet mermaid in it?”

“Not pet,” Patton insisted. “More like...patient.”

“You’re deflecting the rest of the question, Quartermaster,” Dee said, raising an eyebrow, and Patton raised one right back.

“And you’re avoiding giving me an order, Captain.”

Dee chuckled, then his eyes flicked back and forth between the kettle and Patton before he sighed.

“Alright, have it your way then. But Patton...if this creature turns out to be dangerous...if he ends up hurting one of the crew? That’ll be your responsibility, you understand?”

Patton nodded firmly.

“I do.” Then he grinned, and threw his arms around Dee in a quick but tight hug. “Thanks Dee!”

He let go and hurried above deck, hearing Dee mutter something about “reputation” as he went, and stopped when he ran into Remus sticking his head to look inside the (thankfully) unlit furnace the whalers kept on deck.

“Remus! I need you to do something for me,” he called, and Remus grinned.

“Anything you say, Mr. Quartermaster sir!”

“Can you get a couple of the crew to fill the dinghy belowdecks with buckets of seawater?”

“How many buckets?” Remus asked cheerfully, and Patton shrugged.

“As many as will fit. Oh, and Remus. I want the water dumped out into the dinghy. I’m not asking for a boat filled with buckets, I want a boat filled with water, okay?”

“Aww, now you’ve spoiled my fun,” Remus said in a mock pout, but then he winked and practically pranced back towards the Sea Serpent, nearly knocking over Roman as he skipped past.

“What’s he so happy about?” Roman asked, frowning as he watched Remus leave the deck of the The Carlotta.

“I gave him a weird order,” Patton said, sliding up next to Roman and sighing happily when Roman snaked an arm around his waist and planted a kiss on top of his head.

“Anything interesting in the cargo hold?” Roman asked, and Patton froze. “What?” Roman asked, pulling back and frowning down at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Patton said quickly, pressing a kiss to Roman’s cheek. “It’s just…” he glanced back towards the cargo hold, chewing on his bottom lip. “You’re going to want to see this.”

--- --- ---

“You found a what?” Logan asked, staring at his boyfriends in growing disbelief.

“A mermaid, Specs,” Roman said, and Logan resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“We’re serious, Lo!” Patton insisted. “Why would we make something like that up?”

Logan raised an eyebrow.

“I saw Remus looking entirely to happy to be carrying buckets of water back and forth from the cargo hold, and you expect me not to be at least a little bit suspicious.”

“Okay, maybe I should have had someone else supervise setting up the dinghy, but to be fair, I knew that Remus wouldn’t waste a lot of time asking me why I wanted him to do that,” Patton said with a shrug.

“Listen, while ordinarily your suspicion might be slightly warranted–”

“Slightly?” Logan asked, and smirked when Roman spluttered indignantly.

“Really, Logan,” Patton said, his voice quiet and earnest. “We found a mermaid, and he needs our help. Come and see, okay?”

Logan frowned at Patton’s sudden shift in tone before he nodded slowly. Patton flashed him a grateful smile, then turned and led the way into the cargo hold. Logan had to admit, he wasn’t sure quite what he was expecting to see as he followed Patton down the stairs, but the Sea Serpent’s beat up dinghy filled with water hadn’t been high on the list. He opened his mouth, but as they approached the side of the boat, the question died in his throat. His eyes traveled over the purple skin, gills and fins, and wide eyes with slit pupils.

“Oh.”

“You can say that again,” Roman said, raising an eyebrow.

Logan elected not to speak again, noting the way the creature shrunk back at Roman’s loud voice, choosing instead to take a step closer and get down on one knee beside the dinghy so he was eye level with the creature. It thrashed and hissed as he approached, though whether the hiss was a sign of aggression or an expression of pain as the net dug deeper into its flesh, Logan couldn’t be sure. Either way, the first move clearly had to be removing the net.

Logan pulled his knife from his belt and the creature thrashed again at the sight of the blade, and it bumped the side of the dinghy, sloshing some of the water over the side.

“Be still,” Logan said in as soothing a voice as he could manage. “We need to get that net off you, and if you struggle you could become injured.”

Logan had been speaking more with tone in mind than with words, but to his surprise, the creature cocked its head at the words before hissing again, more deliberately this time. Logan froze, staring into the creature’s eyes.

“Can...can you understand me?” he asked, and the creature moved its head up and down.

“Did he just nod?” Patton breathed, and the creature tried to nod again, hissing in pain as the net around its face dug deeper into its jaw.

“Don’t try to move,” Logan said, holding up his empty hand in what he hoped was a placating gesture. “You’ll only hurt yourself further. Could you blink your eyes once for yes, twice for no? If you can really understand us?”

There was a beat of silence as they all held their breaths, and then the creature slowly blinked once.

“Was that a yes?” Logan asked to confirm, and the creature blinked once again. “Wonderful. I’m going to cut this net off of you, is that alright?”

The creature didn’t respond at first, eyeing Logan warily, and Logan frowned.

“Do you wish to remain tangled in the net?”

Two blinks.

“Are you currently in pain?”

One blink.

“If you let me remove the net, we can see about tending to your wounds. But if you continue to thrash about, I may accidentally hurt you...and I do not want that to happen.”

The creature eyed his knife again, and Logan tried to imagine things from its perspective. It had been captured by humans and transported from ship to ship like so much cargo, and now a human was crouching next to it brandishing a knife...all things considered, Logan supposed he would react similarly if he were in such a situation.

“Are you worried that I will hurt you?” he asked.

One blink, and Patton made a quiet, distressed noise behind them. Logan ignored the urge to soothe his boyfriend, knowing that Roman was there to provide comfort if needed. Right now, getting this creature to trust him was the top priority.

“We have had ample opportunity to do so already,” Logan pointed out bluntly.

“Lo…” Roman’s voice was uneasy, hesitant, but Logan pressed onward. He could only hope that this creature was capable of logical reasoning.

“Whether it was on the ship you initially were held captive on, or in transporting you here, my comrades and I have had the opportunity to cause you pain intentionally. Have we taken it?”

Two blinks.

“Would it not make more sense, if hurting you was my intention, to simply move forward in an attack rather than wait for your permission.”

One blink. Logan smiled.

“So logically, we must not want harm to come to you. Quite the opposite. But if you don’t hold yourself still, more harm may occur. Now, may I approach?”

Time stretched out between them, and Logan waited patiently as the creature’s eyes flicked back and forth between Logan, the knife, and Roman and Patton standing behind him. Eventually, he blinked once, and Logan smiled again.

“Alright. Keep very still now…”

The mermaid (or merman, if the top half of his anatomy was comparable to that of a human) squeezed its eyes shut, long webbed fingers curling into fists as Logan began to cut away at the net. He’d scarcely been working a minute before a soft, pleasant sound filled the cargo hold, and the merman’s eyes snapped open.

Roman was humming, a quiet, soothing tune that Logan recognized as one of the lullabies that Roman would sometimes sing to either of his boyfriends if they were having trouble sleeping. The merman’s face changed from one of shock, to curiosity, to something bordering on contentment, and by the time Logan had managed to cut away the last bit of rope, the tension had drained from the merman’s shoulders almost completely.

“There, finished,” Logan said with a small smile, standing up slowly and taking a step back.

The merman took a moment to stretch his limbs out, opening and shutting his jaw (which, Logan noted, had rows of sharp, needle-like teeth) and swishing his tail.

Patton made a cooing sound, and Logan knew that the shorter of his partners was completely enamored by the creature.

“Better?” Logan asked, and the merman looked up at him. For a moment, Logan was expecting another blink, but then the creature opened his mouth.

“Yes. Thank you.”

His voice was low, slightly raspy rumble from the back of his throat, and Logan told himself that the flash of excitement that ran through him was because of the discovery that such a creature could talk and nothing more.

“Are you hurt very badly?”

A quick glance at Patton revealed that Logan was not the only one who had suddenly been struck with a reminder of just how gay he was, but to Patton’s credit, he seemed to recover quickly.

“I…don’t know.” The merman ran his hands over the gash in his tail, wincing, and Logan hummed in sympathy.

“I think it would be best for you to remain here for the time being, at least until you have healed sufficiently.”

“What?” the merman’s head snapped up, his eyes growing wide. “No, you can’t just keep me here, I–”

“It would not be permanent,” Logan assured quickly. “Only until we are sure that you’re well enough to return to the ocean. If you were to return now, in your weakened state, your chances of fully recovering would be slim.”

“Yes, we wouldn’t dream of imprisoning you here like some sort of animal,” Roman chimed in. “Not like those dreadful whalers did.”

“If you really don’t want to stay, kiddo, we won’t force you,” Patton added. “You can make your own choices, after all...we just want to make sure you’re okay.”

The merman looked between the three of them warily, before glancing down at the cuts on his body and nodding slowly.

“Alright then.”

“Oh, yay!” Patton squealed happily, causing the merman to jump slightly. “My name’s Patton, and these are my partners Roman and Logan, do you have a name?”

For a moment, Logan thought the merman wasn’t going to speak, but after a long moment of silence, he opened his mouth again.

“Virgil.”  

Logan gave him a small smile.

“Well Virgil, welcome aboard the Sea Serpent.”  

--- --- ---

Virgil was very confused. When he’d initially been caught by the human whalers, he’d been sure he was going to die. He saw what they were doing to that whale corpse, and when the humans had hauled him onto their ship and thrown him into a cramped metal pot, he was certain that he would be the next to be chopped into pieces. For three days, he’d tried to untangle himself to no avail, and by the time that Patton had found him, he’d all but given up hope on making it out alive.

But instead of hurting, these three, strange humans were helping him. He’d been on this ship for what was close to a month now, and not once had any one of the crew been hostile towards him. The boat, while not the most spacious of homes, gave him enough room to get himself in virtually any position he wanted to, and he found himself now floating on his back and absently sucked on a fish bone, (the last remnant of the food that Patton had brought him that day) reflecting on the three humans he tended to see the most.

Patton had been the first to visit him frequently. Virgil had honestly been so hungry directly after Logan had gotten the net off of him that he would have accepted anything offered to him, but Patton had asked him what he ate, and when he simply said “fish” brought him three different kinds to choose from, even apologizing for not having more choices. Patton was like a sunbeam incarnate, warm and bright and full of the promise of life, and despite how terrified Virgil had been when they’d first locked eyes, he found himself looking forward to all the times Patton would drop by to see him, not just the ones where he was bringing food.

More confusing was Logan, who should be far more intimidating, with his blunt way of speaking and his detached approach to the world. And yet, Virgil found his words calming, an anchoring grip in the middle of a current, and Virgil began to miss Logan’s soothing, steady voice when he wasn’t around. Even the numerous questions about everything from what Virgil ate to how he learned to talk to whether there were other mermaids besides himself and what their societies were like, were somehow endearing instead of unsettling when they came from Logan. Virgil knew Logan didn’t want to hunt his kind down or dissect them, he was just...curious. Brightly, passionately curious, and that curiosity was infectious.

Virgil found himself asking Logan questions about humans, which Logan was all too happy to answer.

And then there was Roman, loud, boisterous, impossible Roman. If Virgil were honest, the first few times he’d dropped by, Virgil had been annoyed. Roman talked too loud, too fast, and Virgil shouldn’t enjoy his company, he really shouldn’t...except Roman sang nearly everywhere he went, and Virgil couldn’t help but be drawn to the sound. His own song was bottled up inside of him, itching to be released into the world, but Virgil didn’t want to know what might happen to the crew of the Sea Serpent if they suddenly heard siren song coming from inside their own ship. But one day, Roman was packing something up at the other end of the cargo hold, singing a soft and familiar tune as he worked, and Virgil couldn’t help himself.

He sang softly so that none of the crew would hear him, closing his eyes and losing himself in the harmony, ducking and weaving around Roman’s voice as it steadily grew louder–

Virgil’s eyes flew open and Roman was only a few feet away, his work forgotten in the corner.

“Roman, snap out of it!” Virgil cried, and Roman blinked at him in confusion.

“Snap out of what, Vee?”

“I...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Virgil said hurriedly. “I didn’t think you would hear me, I didn’t mean to lure you, I promise–”

“Lure me?”

“My song,” Virgil explained. “You heard me singing.”

“Yes I did,” Roman said with a smile. “It was lovely.”

“Yeah, well, if a human hears my song they get sort of...bewitched? You’ll see your heart’s desire, and have no choice but to follow it. So I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” Roman asked with a laugh. “Newsflash Virgil, I was only coming over because I wanted to hear you sing more. I didn’t see my heart’s desire or anything, I just saw you in your boat, like always.”

Virgil’s heart just about stopped beating right then and there, but he forced his face to remain blank.

“Oh...alright then, I’m uh. I’m glad you’re okay.”

Roman smiled his big, boisterous smile at him, but it suddenly turned shy, and Virgil frowned.

“Do you think you could...do it again?” Roman asked, and Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Sing with you?”

Roman nodded, and slowly a smile spread across Virgil’s face.

“I’d love to.”

--- --- ---

It had been just over a month, and Virgil’s wounds finally seemed to be completely healed. Logan had looked them over and declared them sufficiently healed, and Virgil swore up and down that the cuts no longer pained him, though there were thin lines of scar tissue up and down his pale purple skin that would forever serve as a reminder to the terrifying ordeal he’d been through. Roman had half a mind to find the crew of The Carlotta again and exact vengeance on behalf of his beloved siren.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Roman’s face turned bright red, and he tried to push it back down into whatever crevice in his heart it had crawled out of, but it was too late. The thought was released into his mind, and now that it was free it was determined to be as loud and noticeable as possible.

Beloved, beloved, beloved.  

It was the day Virgil was going to back to the ocean, and Roman didn’t want him to go.

One look at the expressions on his love’s faces as they all gathered on the deck to say goodbye was all he needed to know that they felt the same as him. They had been together long enough to easily tell what the others were feeling, and they all three were painfully aware of how much they would miss Virgil when he was gone. A tiny selfish part of Roman said that he should stay here on the Sea Serpent forever, but unlike his first unbidden thought of the day, this one passed like a wave across the sea before he even had time to process it. For as much as he might want Virgil to stay, he wanted him to be happy much more. And Virgil could never be happy living confined on a ship like this. He deserved his freedom, and Roman’s heart would count itself privileged to have known Virgil while it could.

“Are you ready?”

Logan’s tone was careful and even, but Roman knew his boyfriend well. His voice was too clipped, too measured. He may not be as obvious as Patton trying to hold back tears, but he was just as upset that Virgil was leaving as Roman himself was.

“I think so,” Virgil said. He spoke with so much more confidence now than he had the day they had met, and Roman let himself feel proud that they’d been able to break through Virgil’s rough exterior in the time they’d had to know him.

“Thank you. For everything,” Virgil added, and Roman nodded.

“We’ll miss you, Virgil,” Patton said tearfully, and Virgil smiled softly at him.

“I’ll miss you too, Pat.”

Patton knelt down to hug him, then stepped back so Logan could grasp his hand.

“Thank you for teaching me so much, Virgil. I must admit, I will miss our talks.”

“Me too, Lo,” Virgil said, and then he looked at Roman.

Roman stooped and pressed a kiss to Virgil’s cheek before he could stop himself.

“So long, Dark and Gloomy.”

Virgil looked stunned, but he managed a smile back.

“So long, Princey.”

Virgil looked at the three of them one last time before he turned and pulled himself up over the railing of the ship and disappeared with a splash into the ocean below.

“Oh gee, I’m gonna miss him so much,” Patton sighed, leaning onto Logan’s chest.

“As am I, Patton,” Logan agreed quietly.

Roman did not speak, but he knew he didn’t need to. He turned instead to go help his brother haul the water out of the cargo hold, hoping that the distraction would keep his mind off his feelings.

But before he made it very far, there was a great *splash* behind him, and he turned just in time to see Virgil land back on the deck with a rather comical flopping sound.

“Virgil!” Patton cried, and Virgil took a deep breath.

“Ifitsallthesametoyouguysidliketostayhere,” he rushed out, and Roman’s heart leaped with hope.

“I...I’m sorry, did you say…?” Logan looked confused, but a teensy bit hopeful as well, and Patton was outright beaming.

“Did you say you wanna stay here, kiddo?” he asked, and Virgil nodded, his cheeks flushing a dark purple.

“It...it doesn’t have to be in the dinghy all the time,” he said. “I can swim in the ocean sometimes, catch my own food, that kinda thing. But um...yeah. I’d like to stay with the Sea Serpent. With...with you guys, if that’s okay with–”

“Nothing would make us happier,” Roman said firmly, and Virgil looked up, a shy smile spreading across his face.

“Really?”

“Really,” Roman said, just as Patton squealed and dropped to the deck to wrap Virgil in another hug.

“Get down here, you two,” he ordered, and Roman smiled as he and Logan knelt beside them and allowed themselves to be pulled into the hug.

It was a little bit crowded, and Roman’s shirt was getting wet from where he was pressed against Virgil’s back, but he didn’t care. Right here, sitting on the deck of his ship with the sun overhead and his three loves in his arms, was exactly where Roman wanted to be.

--- --- --- 

Sanders Sides Taglist (pt.1): @lizethemotherlycat,  @coffeestudylive, @logically-asexual,  @migraine-marathon, @princeyssash,  @idontevenfreakingknow22, @tree4life25, @spacevirgil, @virgiltheanxious, @thebaagelboy,  @msu82, @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2, , @thesleepyraziel, @bobolovesoze,  @littlemiracle05, @pattson,  @nerd-in-space, @thesides,  @stay-in--place​, @ravenclawunicorn1​, @at-least-seven-pretty-potatoes​, @michealawithana​, @anotherfandomtrasher​ , @fandomsofrandom​,  @a-deliciouslyfadingcollection​, @nightmarejasmine​, @xxfoxit​, @quoth-the-sparrow​, @katatles-the-fish​, @misty-the-mysterious​, @alyssadashrub​, @punkassplonker​, @noctisvalex​, @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom​, @funsizedgremlin​, @vigilantvirgil​, @nonamefightergirl​, @thomasbemyfriend​, @starsinger​ , @milomeepit​, @justabookworm39​, @shortandfantastic​, @thesilentbluesparrow​, @royallyanxious​, @mirror2thespirit​, @coffee-stains-paper-and-ink​, @silverrhayn​, @mooksie01​, @backatthebein​, @nye275​, @anastasialestina​, @callboxkat​, @a-lexicon-of-words​, @emeraldfoxface​, @peachie-keeen​, @llamaly​, @witch19​,  @heythereprincey​, @bring-it-on-perra​, @nienna14​, @bubblycricket​, @thomasfandersunite​, @slightlyobssesive​,  @logicallyanxious​, @apologetically-anxious​, @keys117​, @digitally-analog​, @ocotopushugs​, @warping-reality​,  @grey-lysander​, @your-username-is-unavailable​, @hikariyukino​, @theresneverenoughfandoms​, @virgil-sanderssss​, @violetmcl​, @thatfandomfollower​, @nothingelsemattersme​, @cdragontogacotar​, @narniasfinestavengingsociopath, @absentmindedproff​, @fantasyandfairfolk​, @virgilsblogofanxietys​, @your-average-outcast​, @sanderstalker​, @galaxy-warping​, @queen-of-all-things-snuggly​ @a-little-bit-of-ace​, @faithfreedom-art​ @therealhmmlingle​ @xxladystarlightxx​, @morgan-the-art-girl​, @stormcrawler75​ @wowitsmyblog​, @romanssippycup​, @lunalikesgamesandstuff, @lamp-calm-sanders​, @musikasworld​ @cyberpunkjinx​, @mauvelavender​ @samathekittycat​ @black-out-wonder​ @i-read-by-lamp​ @ravenclawicecream​ @nashiraneko​ @lucifer-in-my-head​ @ladyartemisia28​ @awesome-and-unique-username​ @zoalis @entpscarleharrrr @raygelkitty @zeldahadasword @gubbalupagus @musicphanpie-b @virgilssweaterpaws, @faacethefacts @a-simple-fryingpan @pinkeasteregg @punknerdmusings @imantisocialgetoverit @anuninspiredpoet  @awkward-avocado-of-death, @poison-lyra @modcarbz, @thisrandomperson102,  @skydiamcnds @just-another-starfish, @thepoolofthedead,  

[soft-stormcloud]

Dear Happy

On ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26028052

Summary: There’s a side only Patton knows about. 

Trigger warnings: Hurt/Comfort, food mentions, insecurity, depression, lack of motivation, self-deprecating thoughts

A/n: @justmeandmygayships beta'd this for me and if it wasn't for xem there would be a lot of sentences in here that straight up wouldn't make sense so go thank xem by reading xeir fics 

I created a character to put Patton through some Angst(tm) and instead Gray and I ended up shipping him with Patton so cheers to that

Patton wasn’t sure why he was the only one who could see him, as he visited Patton the least of all. He wasn’t so much a side, not a function like Morality, or Logic. But he was a very real part of the Mindscape, despite the others not knowing about him. 

Sometime after the puppet video, Roman took Logan and Virgil into the Imagination for an adventure. It was Roman’s way of an apology, and a very effective one, at that. A day of being spoiled by a prince in a place where you can do and have anything had a way of winning people over. 

Patton stayed behind. They invited him, and seemed sad that he wouldn’t go, but he had to work on his own apology, no matter how many times they insisted it wasn’t necessary. He wanted to. 

He spent the afternoon preparing a surprise of all their favourite treats—Lemon poppy seed bread for Logan (with a brand new jar of Crofters), red velvet cupcakes for Roman, and sugar cookies cut into bats, ghosts, and witch hats for Virgil (with a promise to help decorate). 

Patton found himself getting lost in the music he put on; he danced around the kitchen, apron twirling around like a swing dress, as he sang loud and off-key. He went on autopilot, sliding the cupcakes in the oven, and kneading the bread dough. 

He hadn’t felt so light, so giddy, in a very long time. His stomach fluttered each time he imagined their faces, and he couldn’t help but giggle. He was going to make them so happy. 

“Such a lovely sight.” 

Patton screamed and whipped around, holding the dough like a shield. The boy in the kitchen leapt back like he was startled. He pressed his back against the wall, and they held each other’s gaze. 

“Are you a new side?” Patton shakily lowered the dough, just a bit. I hope not. He’s creepy. 

He shook his head. 

“Then who are you?” Patton flicked his gaze around, half expecting to see more Thomas look-a-likes pouring into the room. 

“I’m…” The boy cleared his throat. “My name is Eden. My function is, well, for simplicity's sake… Happiness.”

Patton blinked. “Happiness?” 

“Yes.”

He set the dough down with trembling hands and smoothed down his apron. “Well, I’m… Sorry for the fright. You surprised me. I’m-”

“I know who you are.” Eden smiled a crooked smile, eyes crinkling. “Patton. I’ve been here since the start.”

Patton frowned in confusion. He’d been there the whole time, and he just now decided to show himself? He wanted to be diplomatic, but it was hard to trust him. How did he know Eden was being honest about his function? How did he know he wasn’t just Deceit in disguise?

Eden tisked and raised a pale hand to examine it. His honey-coloured eyes sparkled through his skin, the photo of Roman he was standing in front of showing through his fluffy, dark hair. 

“What’s happening?” Patton asked in panic. 

“Well…” He laughed weakly. “I don’t stay forever. I guess the scare changed your mood a bit. I really am sorry about that, I wasn’t trying to intrude. It’s just my job.” 

“Wait- Wait- Don’t leave!” Patton swiped out to grab Eden’s hand, but he went straight through. “We still don’t know why I’m seeing you!” 

Eden faded faster the more Patton panicked. He waved and smiled. “Until next time.” 

Then he was gone. 

It was a long time before Patton saw Eden again. He kept an eye out, but part of him was convinced he imagined the entire thing. How can someone be in the Mindscape without anyone else knowing about it? Were there other figments? Why could Patton suddenly see him? 

And why did Patton miss him?

He spent every day on edge, checking every inch of every room for a glimpse of lavender fabric. It was a month later with no Happiness in sight when Patton settled himself shakily at his desk and pulled out his favourite notepad. It had little cartoon cats all over the pages, the lines pastel blue. 

The clock read 2:03. The full moon shone through Patton’s open window, brittle breeze chasing a shiver down Patton’s spine. 

Dear Happiness, 

His hand hovered over the notepad. What the heck was he supposed to say? ‘I miss you, please come back even though we don’t know each other?’ ‘I want to abuse your function and not care about you as a person?’

Patton shuddered. This was a bad idea. 

I haven’t seen you around. Is everything okay? 

You should come over. I want to get to know you more. Maybe we can figure out why I can see you. 

<3 patton 

He waited several weeks before he accepted that he won’t get a response. 

One morning, Patton drifted around the kitchen to make breakfast, eyelids heavy and steps slow. He was halfway through when footsteps shuffled behind him. 

Patton smiled. “Morning, kiddo!” 

Virgil flinched. Patton’s smile faded as Virgil sat at the table, bringing his legs up and propping his head on the table. 

“Hey,” Patton said softly. He rested his hands on the sides of Virgil’s face, guiding Virgil to look at him. “Nightmare?” 

“Yeah,” he mumbled, eyes downcast. “It was… Worse than usual.” 

Patton stroked his soft, warm skin. “You want some coffee?”

Virgil nodded shyly. Patton kissed his forehead and bounced over to the coffee pot, starting a brew. “Breakfast is almost finished, too! Just go ahead and decompress, sweetheart, I got this.” 

Patton turned with Virgil’s coffee, and gasped. Eden had his chest pressed to Virgil’s back, arms wrapped around his torso and chin rested on Virgil’s shoulder. He brought a finger to his lips and smiled. 

“What is it?” Virgil asked nervously, and Eden started to fade. 

“No- Nothing!” Patton hurried over and set down his coffee. “I thought I saw something, but nothing’s wrong, love. There—Made just how you like it.”

Virgil blushed as Eden’s form came back. “Thanks, Dad,” he muttered. 

In the middle of breakfast, Eden reached out and rested a hand over Patton’s. A smile crawled over Patton’s face. 

After Virgil left, Eden stuck around. Patton stood awkwardly, hands clasped and pressed to his chest. 

“So, um…” Patton looked away, face red. “What have you, uh… Been up to? Seen any other figments lately?”

“I got your letter.” Eden smiled sadly. “I can’t just come when you ask, Patton. I come when I’m called.” 

Patton’s face crumpled in distress. “You don’t choose where you go?”

“I go where I’m needed.”

Patton bit his tongue. I need you. 

“You’ll be okay,” Eden promised. “We’ll talk again soon. Just… Keep on, okay?” 

Patton nodded, sniffling. “Yeah.” He forced a smile and straightened up. “Yeah! Of course.”

Eden smiled, then he faded away. 

The next few months were difficult. Patton’s mind grew groggy with constant exhaustion, and he found it hard to focus on anything for too long. One time Virgil had to stop him from pulling a tray of cookies out of the oven without a mitt. 

He found himself lying awake at night, and sleeping all day. He suppressed the urge to ignore Thomas and the other sides’ summonings, and reminded himself to put on a happy face. No one paid him too much attention or looked too closely. It was stupid, but it brought a deep dread to his stomach. 

He was still in bed when they came to check on him. He was half asleep, and didn’t remember answering the timid knocks on his door. 

“Pat?” Virgil’s cool hand brushed Patton’s bangs back as the bed dipped beside his hips. “Is everything okay?”

“Hm?” He rolled over, leaning into Virgil’s touch. Virgil chuckled and ran his fingers through Patton’s hair. 

“We’re worried about you.” Logan stood awkwardly at the side of the bed, clutching his flashcards. “You’ve shown an increase in symptoms of depression, more so than usual, and… Virgil?”

“We know you’ve been repressing again.” 

Patton sat up, face burning. “It’s not that big of a deal,” he mumbled. 

Virgil laced their fingers and shook his head. “We all talked about this. It’s not good for you, and it’s not good for Thomas. You don’t have to hide it.”

Logan nodded. “Virgil put it perfectly. I have nothing to add.”

A hand touched his back, and Patton jumped. Logan and Virgil looked at him in confusion. Eden’s soft eyes met Patton’s, his hand crawling up Patton’s back and rubbing at the top of his spine. 

“Sorry,” Patton mumbled, unable to hide his smile. He squeezed Virgil’s hand. “I just thought I heard something. I’m sorry I didn’t go to you guys.”

Logan hesitantly sat. “If I were you… I’d partake in some leisure activities. Virgil and I can join, if that’ll make it more enjoyable.” 

Patton wiped his wet eyes and nodded. “That’d be great.”

Eden followed them into the kitchen. Virgil and Logan helped him bake bread, Eden weaving between the three of them like a satin lace pulling them together. 

I can get through. Patton smiled as he pulled Virgil into a dance, one of his favourite songs playing on the radio. I can get through. 

xxx 

The day after the Phases episode, Patton visited Roman, who’d been holed up in his room all day. He didn’t even come out for food. 

Patton knocked on the door with his foot, the plates on his tray rattling together. He yipped as he almost spilled the glass of juice. 

“Come in!”

“You mind helping me out here, Ro?” 

He shuffled around, and a moment later, he pulled the door open. His eyes lit up. “Cream of broccoli?!” He took the tray happily and settled back at his desk. 

Patton startled. Eden sat criss-cross at Roman’s feet, leaning back against the leg of the chair. He waved at Patton cutely. 

“Good day, Ro?” He sat at the edge of Roman’s bed, trying not to stare at Eden. 

“Mhm!” Roman spoke with his mouth full. “The Phases video gave me lots of inspiration! I’ve been working on a new project all day!” 

“Well, you gotta remember to eat, too.” 

Roman blushed. “I know, I just didn’t want to lose momentum.” He set his spoon down and wrapped his fingers around the glass. He stared into it with a blush. “Thank you, padre.” 

After eating, Roman got back to work. Eden stood behind him with his hands on Roman’s shoulders, gently kneading. Patton should’ve probably left- Even though Roman couldn’t see Eden, he felt like he was intruding on something intimate -but he couldn’t draw his attention away. 

Had Eden been with him all day? Was he able to be with multiple sides at once? How did Roman snag him for so long, did Eden like him better? 

“You’re overthinking,” Eden murmured, and Patton looked at him in surprise and confusion. He frowned, eyebrows drawn in sadness. “This is why you’re not supposed to know about me.” 

Patton got up to kiss Roman on the forehead, take his tray, and leave. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t look back. 

Over the next few weeks, he struggled with his feelings. It was difficult to take the others’ advice—His habit of shoving down any bad feelings was more ingrained than he realized. Every time he was upset, he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t and it was fine, until he caught himself. Then he sat there in a kind of stumped limbo. He wasn’t sure what the next step was. 

He tried talking to Virgil and Logan about it, but everything they suggested didn’t help much, and he regretted the waste in energy. 

He desperately thought back to all the times Eden had visited before. The only thing he could see in common was that he was in a good mood. It was a long shot, but if he could replicate that, maybe Happiness would show. 

He settled himself early into bed with hot chocolate in his favourite mug, topped high with whipped cream and sprinkles. He was dressed in soft pyjamas, his weighted blanket pulled over his lap and his favourite show on. 

His drink tasted just as good as it always did, and the show pulled giggles out of him throughout the night, but in the back of his mind, all he could focus on was if Eden would show up or not. 

He tried all night, but his frustration rose with the sun. 

He slumped at his desk before bed, letters messy and words running together. 

Dear Happiness, 

I miss you. 

I’m not sure what happened last night. I guess you must have been busy, helping another side or something. That’s okay. They deserve your help. But I miss you. 

What did I do wrong? 

-patton 

Unsurprisingly, Patton didn’t get a response. He waited a few days before giving up.

Maybe Eden just didn’t like hanging out with him. Maybe he was repulsed by Patton, didn’t think Patton deserved his company. 

That was fine. 

He didn’t need Eden. 

Patton’s eyes fluttered open in the darkness of his room one night. His throat burned, and he groaned when he reached for his empty glass on the bedside table. 

He stumbled past the other’s rooms as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He returned with his newly filled glass, and stopped at the top of the stairs. The soft light from Logan’s desk lamp spilled into the hallway through his open door. He wasn’t inside. 

Patton’s heartbeat quickened. The bathroom was empty, and Patton hadn’t noticed him when he was downstairs. Is he okay? Did the dark sides do something with him? 

His hands trembled as he hurried down the stairs. Deceit’s snake eye, his shimmering scales, flashed in Patton’s mind. His gaze flicked to the spot by the blinds. 

His glass teetered on its edge as he dropped it on the table he passed. He threw the front door open, fully intending to cross the street and interrogate the dark sides- 

Logan laid in the grass. 

Patton pressed his hand to his heart. Idiot. He’s fine. 

His mouth creased into a frown. Eden laid next to Logan, hands clasped. 

Patton tiptoed back onto the porch steps. One of the old wood panels creaked, and Logan glanced back. 

“Oh. Patton.” He propped himself up on his elbow and adjusted his glasses. “Is everything okay?”

He nodded, cheeks burning. “Just wanted to check on you.” 

“I’m unharmed.” Logan laid back. “You should join me.” 

Patton’s heart fluttered. He shook his head. “Oh, no, I couldn’t-” 

Logan looked back, and Patton softened. His eyes were owlishly big behind his glasses, his mouth pulled into a concerned frown. 

“I can stay a bit.” Patton sat criss-cross on the soft grass, trying not to stare at Eden. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through the untrimmed blades, the thin slices tickling his palms. 

“You don’t need to worry if I’m not in my room at night.” Logan’s eyes flicked between star to star. “I like stargazing. I like the solitude of it. It’s… In honesty, it’s the only calm I get unless I’m working.” 

Patton stiffened. “I can leave you alone-”

“I enjoy your company.” 

He jumped as soft skin touched his. Eden laced their fingers and whispered, “I miss you, too. Stay.”

Patton blushed and looked away. “I can stay for a bit.” 

xxx 

As lovely as his night with Logan and Eden was, Patton found his mental health rapidly decreasing. Thomas’s life was spiralling out of control, and Patton desperately tried to keep a handle on things, but every choice he made was a mistake. 

His family grew impatient with him. Roman’s creativity was stunted, and Virgil tensed when Patton touched him. Logan was more frustrated than usual—He shut down nearly everything Patton said. 

And after the Intrusive Thoughts video, things seemed hopeless. 

How had he been so… Wrong? How could he treat them all that way, without even noticing? Was he that bad of a person? Was he corrupting Thomas?

If he rarely got out of bed before, he lived there now. He didn’t get up to eat, only to make dinner when someone requested it of him. Anxiety seeped under Patton’s door from Virgil’s room, and the frustration in the house concentrated in Patton’s room. 

Indecision hindered him. He couldn’t get out of bed, because he couldn’t be faced with another day with the potential to fail Thomas, and everyone else in the Mindscape. 

And Eden hadn’t visited him in months. 

I miss you, too, he had said. He didn’t mean it. He would have shown up by then. 

The only time he was able to force himself out of bed was to make a decision he knew he couldn’t mess up. He pulled his hood up and wrapped his sleeves around his palms, trudging across the lawn to the dark sides’ house looming across the street. He crossed the black stone pathway and stopped at the porch, hand raised. 

Inside was chaos—Glass breaking, yelling, laughing, fighting. Deceit wasn’t home, then. 

He climbed down the steps and circled around to the back. He stretched up on his tiptoes to reach over the black panels of wood and feel around for the gate lock. He sighed in relief when he hit it and it came undone, the gate slipping open. 

He took a step into the garden, and voices stopped him. 

“It worked!” Remus’s voice was practically a squeal. Patton crept forward and peeked through the leaves of a yellow rosebush. Remus’s hands clasped Deceit’s, bouncing up and down. 

“And you’re sure?” Deceit asked. His mouth twitched upwards. “Everything went according to plan?”

Patton held his hand to his mouth as Remus pressed a sloppy kiss to Deceit’s mouth. “Yes! We’re gonna be light sides, JJ!” 

Patton inched closer, the new angle revealing Eden hugging Remus’s arm, one hand rested over Deceit and Remus’s. 

Anger bubbled in Patton’s stomach. He whipped around, intention of apologizing lost, and stormed back to his room. 

He scrabbled for the first piece of paper and pen he could find. He nearly ripped the fragile pages as he scratched ink. 

Happiness, 

I’m glad you’re enjoying your time with everyone else. I’m so happy for you all. If you ever need me, I’ll be right here waiting, alone. But we both know that won’t happen. We both know you don’t need me, don’t want me, just as the others don’t. 

I don’t need you anyway. I don’t need you to help Thomas and I don’t need you to feel okay and I don’t need you to do my job. 

I wish we’d never met. 

Morality

PS: did you plan this? 

xxx 

“Pat?”

Patton forced on a friendly face and pulled the door open. It was a few weeks after Janus told them his name, and everyone was tentatively mending relationships. He couldn’t ruin that with his own anger. 

“Everything okay, Roman?”

He nodded. “We, uh… Well, we were thinking a movie night. Uh, now.” 

Patton blinked. They hadn’t had a movie night since they watched Frozen. “That sounds fun, kiddo.” 

“So you’ll come?” Roman smiled sheepishly. 

Patton twisted his fingers in his shirt. “If you want me there, I’m there!”

He grinned. “Perfect! Come on, we still have time to vote!” 

Roman grabbed his hand and dragged him downstairs. Patton’s eyes widened when they stepped into the living room. All of the usual suspects were there- Virgil curled at one side of the couch, Logan in the armchair, plenty of space for Roman and Patton to sit -but three new faces joined them. 

Janus and Remus sat on the loveseat, Remus clothed this time. Remus had his legs thrown over Janus’s lap, and Janus looked annoyed but ran his hand up and down his shin subconsciously. 

And Eden sat on the floor, back pressed to the couch, in the middle of them all. 

Patton settled in the empty seat behind Eden. He didn’t react as Eden said, “I have a good feeling.” 

Patton pursed his lips and glanced down. 

Eden leaned back and rested his head against Patton’s knee. “Hang out with me tonight,” he whispered. 

Patton relaxed into the couch. Remus cackled as he poked at the scales on Janus’s face, who continuously pushed him away. Virgil and Roman argued about Roman tampering with the votes, and Logan took it all in with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 

“Okay,” Patton whispered back, unable to stop from smiling. “That sounds good.” 

Tag list: @mirror2thespirit thx babe lmao 

[logical-little-lies]

{Chapter Three- Not A Baby}//Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You (Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE)

A/N: Before we begin with this chapter, I want to show some art that @english-chips made for this fic! The first one is inspired by the last chapter, logan the science kid!

And this next one is based off of Teenspace!Logan (which is officially introduced in this chapter). Don't ask about the braces, that gets tied into the story later.

Anyways, enjoy the chapter!! feel free to leave comments/send asks (Wattpad/Tumblr) with any questions you have or your reactions+thoughts on the chapter/story in general! I also wanted to credit the people from my discord server for a lot of the ideas used throughout this fic, so I will probably be repeating this a lot bc they’re creative and help me a lot when it comes to this story!

--

"I mean, I personally only really go to baby and toddler ages. From less than one to five. But you're still figuring your range out, right?" Virgil was talking to Logan as they washed the dishes. Virgil and Logan were getting into the habit of mentioning age regression related things in normal conversations, so they could normalize it even when they weren't in the headspace.

"I guess so. There's sometimes where I don't feel little, but I'm not exactly an adult either? I don't know how to explain it." Logan was honest with him, taking the plate he handed to him and putting it into the dishwasher.

"Maybe you're a middle?" Virgil suggested.

"Middle?" Logan repeated him, a confused tone laced in his voice.

"A middle is someone who regresses to pre-teen and teenage ages. It's still regression by definition as long as it's younger then your bio age," Virgil explained, rinsing out a bowl before handing it to him.

"I didn't know that was a thing. I sorta thought age regression was just baby, toddler, and young kid. I never really considered the fact that people might regress to an older age then that..." he trailed off.

"I don't know a ton about middles, or middlespace, but I know that some just find comfort in acting younger. That doesn't always mean a cute baby voice and stuffed animals, that can mean video games and they're old favorite books. Whatever makes you most comfortable." Virgil shrugged, using a sponge to scrub at a plate.

"That's kinda cool, actually. Um...anyways, what did you do today?" Logan changed the subject, keeping the term in mind. The idea that he could regress, but just to teenage years, made sense to him. He felt as if he might've been in that headspace before.

He'd want someone to look after him, but only to a certain extent. He'd be moody and get frustrated easier, he would want to indulge in old dorky hobbies, like video games or reading comic books. When he got like that, he told himself he was just being immature, and that he wasn't little, because it wasn't the same feeling. But now, knowing that regressing to teenage ages was a thing, he'd have to rethink things and maybe let himself indulge in this new feeling.

Not bad, just different.

--

"Good morning, Logan!" Patton knocked on Logan's door, waiting to hear a reply before opening it.

"Morning, come in." he remarked simply, seemingly distracted by something.

"Virgil isn't little right now, but as always, I just wanted to check up on you to check if you were." Patton closed the door behind him, coming over to Logan's bed and sitting down.

"I'm not little," he replied quickly, flipping a page in whatever he was reading. Upon closer inspection, it was a comic book. When Logan saw Patton looking at it, he shut it and pulled it closer to him. "Can you get out of my room? I'm busy." he said, speaking in a very annoyed tone.

Patton looked shocked, and a bit hurt. "Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll leave. Um, breakfast will be ready soon, let me know if you need anything..." he got up, going to leave when Logan spoke.

"Sorry for being rude, or whatever. I didn't mean to make you sad." he promised, speaking softer and in an apologetic way.

"It's alright, Logan. Are you feeling okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be, I'm fine?" he questioned.

"You're acting a bit..different? It's not bad!" Patton defended quickly before explaining himself, seeing Logan's skeptical look, "You're just...acting younger? But not quite little, y'know?" he tried to explain what he was thinking, but it was difficult.

"Patton! Come help me do this!" Roman called Patton from the kitchen before Logan go the chance to respond. Maybe Logan should've told his carer that he had a teenspace before going into it. Right after he heard about it from Virgil, connecting the dots was easy. So letting himself do what he wanted, and act slightly 'immature' was easier, because he knew it wasn't some weird thing. It was just a part of his personal regression.

But just because he accepted it himself, didn't quite mean that he wanted to explain it to his caregiver. Once Patton was gone, he made a motion with his hand and the door slammed shut.

You'd think he wouldn't break his own rule, but a lot of things you wouldn't expect were happening recently. Logan made a rule for the core sides, avoid using powers (both summoning and physical) because apparently it made them more "realistic". He had claimed that if they lived a life that was closer to an actual persons, in a mind palace designed to mimic the real world, they'd understand Thomas's problems and emotions more.

Roman hated those rules, and the fact that creating the realistic town and staying there sort of made it so that he couldn't escape to the mindscape for fantasy adventures. Logan even went so far as to make it so they got a limited allowance each week, as pay for doing your job for Thomas. Big Logan managed this whole system, but he said that if they just continued to be able to buy things without limited money, there was no point in trying to live more like people.

He groaned, shutting the comic book and abandoning it on his bed. He went over to his closet, looking inside of it for something to wear. Some things were to adult, and some things were to childish. He didn't have anything for in between, and that was frustrating. He almost considered summoning something for himself, when he was actually fourteen, they still lived in their separate rooms and just summoned things they wanted or needed.

He knew that he shouldn't, if he starts breaking his own rules regularly, then everyone else will and it'll be chaos. He looked through the part of his closet that had pajama shirts. Most of these were random t-shirts with graphic designs that adult Logan would never wear in front of the others (without the excuse of "it's an old shirt that I kept for sleeping."). He found a dark gray shirt that said "Game On", with a white game controller on it. He deemed it acceptable and he tossed it over to his bed, looking for jeans to go with it.

"Aha!" he cheered when he finally found simple dark blue jeans, taking the outfit and disappearing into his bathroom.

--

"You said that he's acting weird? Is he small and trying to hide it?" Roman suggested, passing Patton a plate to set on the table. Virgil was serving the food, dividing it between their plates.

"No, I don't think so? He said he wasn't little, but he just seemed really annoyed and...I don't know." Patton seemed confused, taking the cluttery Roman handed him and going around the table, setting it down. Patton was the one who suggested that they start eating breakfast, along with other meals together when possible. It was common that someone would skip out on famILY meals, but that didn't meal he wouldn't put the effort in  to made the meals for everyone.

"You think he's just stressed and he needs to regress?" Virgil spoke up, setting a bottle of syrup on the table.

"I don't think he was stressed, just annoyed."

No one got the chance to reply because Logan came down the stairs, clad in a dorky t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a beanie. Virgil seemed to have a realization upon seeing him.

"Hello?" he broke the silence after a few seconds, "Why is everyone staring at me?"

"Oh, um..." Patton spoke first, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Did I walk in on you guys talking about me?" he immediately questioned with suspicion.

"pshh! No, surely not!" Roman lied, Logan giving him a look.

"Hey, Logan? How old are you, like mentally, right now?" Virgil asked hesitantly, Patton seeming confused.

"He already said that he wasn't little?" he restated, looking over at Logan, who blushed a bit.

"I never said that I wasn't regressed at all..." he trailed off, stratching the back of his head awkwardly before looking at Virgil. "And um, fourteen." he replied quickly, shuffling over to the table and taking a seat.

"Oh! Why didn't you tell me that when I asked you if you were little?" Patton asked, taking his seat next to Logan.

"Because I'm not little. Little is like, baby and toddler, y'know? I'm just...not an adult for now." he explained, not looking at his caregiver much.

"Oh...I didn't even know your range went that far, sweetheart." Patton seemed to be processing this, lightly grabbing his fork as Roman and Virgil took their seats.

"Sorry I didn't tell you, Dad." he apologized quickly, starting to eat his food.

Patton smiled, both from the fact that Logan called him "dad" while he wasn't six years old, and as a source of comfort. "It's alright, Lo." he assured. Logan gave him a little awkward smile, going back to eating.

"So...what is everyone planning on doing today? I'll probably work on brainstorming for Thomas's next project." Roman tried to start a conversation.

"I'll probably just chill, I finished the work I had to do yesterday." Virgil replied, looking to Patton and Logan to talk next.

"I might play video games, or watch something. I don't know," Logan shrugged a bit.

"Have you ever really been in teenspace before? Do you know what you want to do?" Patton asked in curiosity.

"I..um," he paused, thinking. "I kinda have been before, but I thought it was weird so I pushed it down..."

"Regressing to teenage ages is not weird, at all! I actually think it's fitting for you, because you can regress without having to be babyish, which is what you're most shy about when you do go little!" Patton immediately defended, Logan holding back a small smile.

"I knowwww, but I thought this was just me being immature. Not like, a part of my regression. It feels different then when I'm a toddler or a kid." he explained, seeming like he didn't want to be talking about this. He'd felt like a teenager, and addressing the fact that he was simply just thinking like one made him second guess him choice to allow himself to go into that headspace.

"Okay, okay. Would you like me to spend the day with you, sweetheart?" Patton offered. Logan quickly shook his head in rejection.

"Nope, I'm good. Actually, I'm gonna head back to my room now." he scooted his chair back, standing up before pushing it in.

"Bye, Logan!" Roman called after him. Logan didn't respond, but you could hear his door shut from upstairs. Patton simply pushed his plate forwards, putting his head down on the table in his arms.

"You good there, padre?" Roman questioned.

"I'm fine, kiddo." he replied weakly.

--

"Hey, kiddo! I just wanted to check on you," Patton knocked on Logan's door, opening it after a few moments. Logan wasn't on his bed, so he shut the door and found the boy at his desk. There was sort of a dip in the wall where his desk inserted, perfectly fitting. There was white shelving above the desk, with mostly books on it. Under the desk, there was a portable dresser with black and gray drawers.

He was watching youtube on his laptop, leaning back in his office chair with headphones on. Patton realized Logan didn't hear him, tapping on his shoulder. Logan flinched, quickly pulling his headphones off. "Helloooo? What's up?" he questioned, reaching forward and pausing his video.

"I just wanted to check on you, that's all." Patton replied, coming closer to him and standing behind his chair.

"Well, I'm fine. Just watching youtube," he shrugged, motioning to his screen.

Patton read over the channel name, along with the video title. "Markiplier, who's that?" he asked.

"Just a youtuber, dad. Do you need something?" Logan reached forward, shutting his laptop and looking up at Patton.

"Not really. I just wanted to know what you've been up too,baby."

"I'm not a baby." Logan replied simply, sounding a little annoyed.

"But you're my baby," Patton teasingly. Logan's face went pink, and he gave a mostly-playful glare. Patton was glad he was getting him to be playful to some extent, because so far it felt like Logan just wanted to isolate himself while in this headspace.

If he was going to be Logan's caregiver, he wanted to know at least a little bit about how Logan acts in each part of his headspace, so he knows how best to care for him. But it currently seemed like Logan didn't want any care.

"No, I'm a teenager. Not a babyyy," he whined, not in a baby voice, but in a 'dad you're embarrassing me please stop' type of voice.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll stop teasing you." Patton smiled at him. Logan crossed his arms, but both of them knew he wasn't actually upset.

"Are you sure you don't want to go watch a movie in the living room or something? You said you might play video games, I know you can't do much on your laptop." Patton was silently pleading to spend some time with him, but Logan shook his head.

"I think I'll stick with Markiplier vids. But I'll see you at dinner!" he reminded, which did cheer Patton up a bit. Patton nodded.

"Alright, Littl-" Logan gave him a look, "Not little. Uh, bye Logan!" he corrected somewhat awkwardly, leaning down to kiss Logan's forehead quickly before leaving. Logan rolled his eyes, slowly opening his computer back up. He pressed the space bar button, and readjusted his headphones on his ears before leaning back in his seat.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

--

"Dinner's ready, baby." Patton peeked his head into Logan's room, to see him watching something on Netflix at his desk.

"Kay, Dad. I'll be down in a sec," he replied, without missing a beat. "Also, not a baby."

"Alright, sorry Lo. Just head down soon, okay?"

Logan nodded,already starting to pause his show and log out of everything. Patton gave a slight smile, leaving his door open and heading back down stairs.

"So...how's teenage Logan?" Roman asked quickly as he came downstairs, already sitting down for dinner. Virgil looked at Patton.

"He keeps getting embarrassed when I call him baby. But I think he's good, he seemed pretty content with just hanging out in his room and doing whatever." Patton replied, pulling out his chair to take a seat.

"Oh, Logan! Hey!" Roman called when he saw Logan entering the kitchen. He held his phone in his hand.

"Hey. What are we having?" he asked, pulling his chair out and sitting next to Patton, as usual. He glanced down at his phone screen and tapping it a few times. Virgil came and sat some containers on the table. "Oh, spaghetti. Question answered."

"Can you put your phone down at the dinner table, sweetheart? Dinner is time for us to spend time as a family," Patton tapped his shoulder softly, instructing him to turn it off. Logan rolled his eyes, shutting off his phone and hovering it an inch above the table before dramatically dropping it. The attitude wasn't appreciated, but at least he listened.

"So..Logan, what did you do today?" Roman asked after a few moments of silence, reaching forward to server himself some food. He grabbed a piece or garlic bread at Logan started to respond.

"I watched Youtube and Netflix." he replied, quickly loading his plate with food. He seemed somewhat tense, like he wanted to leave.

"That's cool! What did you watch on Youtube and Netflix?" Virgil asked. Virgil was picking up on Roman's tactic of asking simple questions to hopefully start a conversation.

"Markiplier and The Floor is Lava." Logan kept going like this to every curious question they had, responding in short sentences before going back to eating. Soon enough, his plate was clear and he attempted to leave.

"You didn't even ask to be excused, young man. Sit back down." Patton instructed, Logan immediately listening and sinking back into his chair.

"C-can I go?" he asked, looking at Patton with a nervous look now. He didn't mean to upset him, he just wanted to go back to his room and be by himself again. This was a new headspace for him, and being around other people for long periods of time made him anxious. What if he did something stupid? What if they thought he was weird?

Patton didn't mean to scare him, so he softened up his face before talking again. "How about you tell us about your day, sweetie?"

Logan shifted from nervous to annoyed in maybe two seconds. "I've already told you everything! I watched Netflix and Youtube. There's nothing to talk about, dad!" he snapped, grabbing his phone from the table. Patton's eyes went wide, he definitely did not expect Logan to snap at him.

"Hey, kiddo..." he spoke softly to the annoyed regressor, who just want an escape. Logan took a few breaths while Virgil and Roman watched in silence. Patton hesitantly put his hand on Logan's arm in a simple attempt to comfort him. "Why don't you just walk me through what you did after breakfast, whatever you remember?" Logan looked at him now, nodding. He seemed a bit nervous, he did not mean to snap or shout or anything. But it seemed as if Patton wasn't upset with him.

He thought back to that morning, beginning the story. "So I went up to my room after breakfast. I read comic books for a little bit, and then-"

"What did you read about?" Roman interrupted. This didn't seem to annoy Logan, just shock him. He wanted to hear about whatever dorky comic book he had read? The last of dinner went on like that, Logan walking through his day up until the meal, and the other three inturrupting to ask curious questions.

Logan would go on side rambles about whatever it was. A question as to what The Floor Is Lava was about lead him into a ramble about how the game works. But no one else minded, because learning about this part of Logan, neither a baby, nor completely big, was really nice. Every few minutes, he'd stop his rambling, and ask if someone else wanted to talk.

But every single time, they'd share a few thoughts and assure that they didn't mind his excited rambling. He revealed that he also watched documentaries and information youtube videos, so he started sharing a bunch of random facts.

The anxiousness, the awkwardness, and even the extreme want to go away, faded as they encouraged him to keep dorkily discussing his favorite teen-ish things to do.

They hoped teenage Logan would come back again sometime soon.

[eevee-eclair]

For Science

Written by EeveeEclair

TW: kissing, someone almost has a panic attack, tell me if I missed one!

Random side note: This fic was made for @panicatthehottopical! I hope it came out okay! (I’m so sorry it took so long!)

<~~~~~>

Logan had no emotions. This was a fact. Another fact was that his three best friends were in a romantic relationship. So you can imagine how confused and scared he felt when he realized he wanted to kiss them.

But, seeing as he was ’emotionless’, he told himself it was purely scientific. Nothing more, nothing less. So here he was, walking down the stairs to the commons to begin his experiment. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. But, he would do anything for science.

“Oh! Hey Logan!” Patton called when he was down the stairs.

“Hello, Patton,” he greeted. He could feel his face heating up as he took in the moral side. He was wearing his cat onesie with the hood down, showing off his messy brown hair. He shook it from his head. There were more pressing matters at hand. “I have a question to ask if all of you.”

“Fire away,” Virgil said.

His voice seemed to die in his throat. “I… uhm…” oh God, he couldn’t do this!

“Specks? You doing okay?” Roman asked. Logan didn’t look at him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to speak.

Gathering his last bits of courage and throwing his pride out the window, he went for it. “I would like to conduct an experiment,” he said.

“What kind?” Patton asked. “Oh! Are we gonna bake?”

“No,” he told him. “But I was wondering… uhm…” he could do this! They were his friends, they won’t judge him. “Iwantyoualltokissmeforscience!” He rushed.

It took a moment for them to figure out what he said, but when they did Roman was the first to make a move.

Standing up and walking over to him, Roman cupped Logan’s cheek. “Why didn’t you just say so?” He asked, closing the distance.

Logan took note that Roman tasted like dark chocolate and strawberries, but he smelled like he had just come back from an adventure in the Imagination. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t sad when it ended.

Roman smirked at Logan’s blushing face. “Well?” He asked. “What are my results, nerd?”

Logan blinked and backed away. “I—“ before he could finish, Patton came up and pulled his tie, bringing him to his level.

“Me next! Me next!” He cried, mashing their lips together.

Logan desperately tried to remember that Patton tasted like milk and honey and smelled like freshly baked cookies. He tried to make it last longer but didn’t want to pull off as desperate, so he let Patton end the kiss just like Roman had. Again, he ignored the sad feeling when he pulled away.

“Okay! Virge, your turn!” Patton said, grabbing Virgil from off the couch and shoving him in Logan’s direction. He had shoved him so hard Logan lost his balance and began to fall backwards, but Virgil was quicker and caught him.

Virgil smiled at him and kissed him right there. Logan noticed that Virgil tasted like coffee and one of Patton’s cookies and it mixed beautifully with the softness of the kiss. But again, he felt empty inside when Virgil pulled away.

“Anything else we can help with?” Roman asked as Virgil walked back to the couch.

“Uhm… n-no. That’s all. Thank you!” He said before sinking out back into his room as fast as possible, unknowingly leaving the others confused and sad.

>~~~<

After he sank out, Logan collapsed onto his bed desperately trying to hold back tears. He wasn’t supposed to enjoy it! Just enough for some data! Now he made a complete fool of himself and they probably won’t want to be friends with him anymore!

Suddenly, his dam broke and tears were falling freely and his breathing became quick and shallow. Now he’s having a panic attack! Just perfect!

As he cried he tried so hard to fix his breathing with Virgil’s 4-7-8 pattern. Or was it 4-8-7? Or 7-4-8?! No-no it was 4-7-8! If not, that’s what he was gonna go with.

After a few minutes, he was breathing just fine. So now the only noise he made were his quiet sobs.

>~~~<

An hour or so later, the others were still in the commons, discussing what had just happened.

“I mean, why would he just come and kiss us? There had to be more to it!” Roman exclaimed, flopping down on Virgil’s lap.

“I’m sure he has a perfectly good explanation!” Patton said, taking a bite out of a cookie. “I’m sure if we just asked him—“

“Are you insane?!” Virgil cried, standing up and knocking Roman over in the process. “We can’t just ask him! Didn’t you see how uncomfortable he was?!” He said, pulling at his hair.

“Don’t try and tell us you don’t want him to kiss you again, Emo,” Roman said, standing up. “We both know you loved it just as much as me.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable!” He said sitting back down. “I just want to know why he did it,” he mumbled, crossing his arms.

“I can just go ask,” Patton offered. “I’ll be back,” he said, getting up and walking to Logan’s room before Virgil could stop him.

When he got to the top of the stairs, he swore he heard crying. “Logan?” He said, running to his door. “Logan, hon, are you okay?” He asked, knocking on his door.

Suddenly the crying stopped and Logan’s voice answered his own. “Yes, Patton. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Okay then. Can I come in?” If Logan really was okay, then he should get this conversation over with. He heard shuffling then the door swung open and Logan looked miserable. “Logan, are you sure you’re okay?” He pushed.

“Yes, I’m just a little over worked, I was about to take care of it. What do you need?” He asked, sounding irritated. By now the others have come up just to see what was wrong.

“Is there any other reason- besides science of course- that you wanted to kiss us for?” He asked hopefully.

Something flashed in Logan’s eyes that Patton couldn’t quite place before he answered. “No, it was just science,” he said. “Now, are we done here?” He asked, beginning to close the door.

“Um, no,” Roman said, putting his foot in the way and forcing the door open and walking in. “Why do you look like Virgil after a panic attack? Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He threw it off and stepped back. “I’m fine!” He cried. “Now please leave my room.”

Roman looked at the others then back to Logan. Suddenly, he got an idea. “No.”

“I’m sorry?” Logan asked, looking slightly afraid.

“I said no, Logan,” Roman said, taking the logical side’s hand. “I want to do an experiment,” he said smiling.

“Pardon?”

“I want to kiss you,” he said. “For science,” he added with a sly smile, before closing the distance on them again.

Logan so desperately wanted to pull away, but couldn’t find a good enough reason to, so he kissed back. And he loved every second of it, only breaking it to breathe. When he looked up at Roman he saw the softness in his eyes and began to cry again.

“I-I’m so sorry!” He wailed, clinging to Roman’s shirt like a lifeline.

“Why are you sorry?” Roman asked, tilting his head to make him look at him. “What’s there to be sorry for?”

“I-I- I intruded on your relationship! I-I invaded your guys’ happiness!” He cried. “I-I tried to tell myself I wasn’t worthy! B-but—!” He was cut off when Roman kissed him again.

“Starlight, do you really think you intruded on our relationship?” He asked. When he nodded, he felt his heart shatter.

“Logan, you could never intrude!” Patton cried, running over to hug him. “What made you think that?”

“Y-you guys just s-seemed so happy!”

“We are,” Virgil said, walking up putting a hand on his shoulder. “But do you know when we’re happiest?” He asked. When Logan shook his head, Virgil smiled. “We’re happiest when you’re around,” he said smiling.

Logan shook his head in disbelief. “B-but—!”

Virgil grabbed his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. “Logan, stop. We love you, okay?”

That got him to stop crying. “Y-you love me?” He asked.

“Now what kind of silly question is that? Of course we do!” Patton said squeezing him harder. “In fact!” He began, looking at the others for permission. With two identical nods, he went for it. “Would you like to join our relationship?” He asked.

“Wh-what?” He asked, wiping tears from his face.

“Do you want to be our boyfriend?” Roman repeated. “It’s okay if you don’t!” He reassured quickly.

“N-no, I do,” Logan said, beginning to smile. “I… love you all too.”

Virgil let out a breath he forgot he was holding. “Okay, good! I was so worried you would think us weird or something,” he said.

They stayed in that small cuddle pile for a minute more before the silence was shattered. “What now?” Logan asked.

“Well… we could go watch a movie!” Roman suggested, pulling away.

Logan nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good,” he mumbled.

“Movie night it is!” Patton cheered, running out of the room to collect snacks. “I’ll get the popcorn made!” He cried from downstairs. That got everyone laughing as they followed him to make sure he didn’t burn the kitchen down.

It was halfway through Lion King, Logan realized, maybe he did have emotions. And if he did, he didn’t mind.

[hydra-collector]

Whole: Chapter One

AO3

Fic Page (all chapters listed here)

Second Fic in the Series

Chapters Finished: 6/6

Ship: Intrulogical

Characters: Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders (minor)

TW: self-harm, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, food, sex mention

Words: 3,630

Summary: 

Logan can't feel.

Because every time he does, someone gets hurt. His emotions have no place in the world. He vows to squash them down until finally, maybe they'll be gone. But it's not a good idea to suppress such an important part of yourself, to tear your sadness, happiness, anger, until you're left dry and empty.

And Logan doesn't understand that until he meets someone. Someone very, very special.

Note: I actually have this finished, it will be updating daily. I’m likely going to write some extra works, later in Remus and Logan’s lives.

Why are you yelling? Stop yelling, stop.

Logan didn’t know what else to do. He had to tell them why this was happening, they were wrong, he couldn’t control this. It was awful, this awful feeling that made him completely unable to focus while incredibly worried about how he wasn’t focusing. He was just trying to tell them why.

 But he didn’t have to yell.

He had no reason to be angry at them. They did nothing wrong. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to scream and cry and hug his mom. He wanted her to understand what this was like. The fuzzy mold that dug into his brain and gave him fears that he didn’t want. The bricks that crawled into his chest and weighed him down and he couldn’t get up. But she didn’t understand them and he couldn’t explain, so he yelled.

 He hated yelling. It hurt, it scratched, he knew it was bad and he should stop, but he couldn’t. He needed to cry and he did cry, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to destroy something, he was angry, he wanted to punch someone.

 He couldn’t.

 He was nine, he shouldn’t be doing this to his mother. She was good and kind, and all he did was hurt her. He was awful to her, and she tried to help, but he couldn’t stop from getting annoyed, or angry, or sad. He couldn’t help but wail when the bricks got too heavy, he wanted them to be lighter. He had to move, had to hit something when the fears wouldn’t go away. He was scared his mother hated him, that she would abandon him with his brother. It didn’t make any sense, but he knew what he was doing to her and he didn’t stop. He was too much work for her.

 Two years later, he was the same. Still loud, still full of emotions. His throat hurt all the time, his mother kept getting fed up (she’d tried to take him to a therapist and that didn’t work), his brother Patton was scared for his health, and his dog wouldn’t let him anywhere near her. He’d developed ways to stop bothering them, though. Hold his hand to his mouth and bury his head in the pillow until the frustration went away. Bite his arm so he couldn’t keep screaming. Hit his head again and again and again until he couldn’t be angry anymore. It hurt. It was calming.

 He’d managed to become a bit less of a nuisance, at least. He’d tried to stop explaining the bricks and the mold and just let them be. They always fade after a while to something manageable. His tears were his own now. His emotions were his, and no one else needed them.

 He tried to be happier for his mom. He spent more time with Patton, trying to make him happy. Patton was concerned for him, and he appreciated that, but he knew asking for help would only make them suffer, and they weren’t allowed to suffer. Only he could suffer.

 He vowed to become a robot someday. Where he didn’t want to scream or hurt people. Someday it would be gone, everything would be okay. Maybe he’d have a wife and kids that he didn’t hurt like the people he loved now. They would love him and he would deserve it.

 Another two years and it had a name.

 Depression. Anxiety. Mental illness. They told him what he was and he hated himself even more. He was a thirteen year old being told that he’d been sick since he was a child. He was given ways to cope. He’d never tried to bleed.

 He did the day he learned he could.

 It was freeing. Hitting and biting was hard, but slicing his skin was so easy and so pretty. The blood that rose from within told him that he was a person, and an awful one. If anyone ever saw, it would be the end of this.

 He didn’t yell anymore. Most of the time he was absolutely silent. Yes, he participated in class so he didn’t get a bad grade, but only the bare minimum. He never raised his voice, never allowed himself to laugh too loud. His brother was scared for him, but he didn’t know the half of it. He had few friends, only one other anxious teen named Virgil. He felt more comfortable talking about fear and self-hate, but only in a joking way. He had to close himself off from everyone. He couldn’t hurt anyone.

 His mother had, again, tried to get him to go to therapy. She said it would help his anxiety. God, she didn’t even know. He stopped cutting his arms pretty early on, since his mother got concerned that he always wore long sleeves. His legs got all the more blood on them.

 How could he have this with people who care? How could he hate himself this much when nothing had ever happened to him? Why had this ever happened?

 He didn’t know.

 Fifteen was his worst year yet.

 He’d made so many friends this year, yet it all got worse. He felt like he couldn’t breathe most days, like every day he was dying. He wanted that, he wanted this feeling gone. How could he heal after eight god damn years?

 It was a warm October morning today. The sun shone on his back, glittering across the autumn leaves. The normally boring school looked orange and majestic. Students laughed and chatted as he passed by.

 It had been a bad month. He was sure that he’d only been happy for a couple hours in the past thirty days. He didn’t understand why he hadn’t killed himself yet.

 Patton was talking to him about something, probably about another cute kid. Ever since he’d come out as pan, he’d endlessly talked about the people he found attractive. It was exhausting for Logan to hear his brother point out girls he might like. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to come out.

 He wanted to date. It might be nice to have someone to kiss and cuddle, to offer comfort when the days got bad. To have more comfort than cold, sharp blades. He couldn’t do that, though. He’d hurt enough people already.

 Still, he couldn’t help but fantasize about some guy that would share his interest in science, talk to him about space and chemistry and biology. He wasn’t good enough for someone like that. Someone that would never date him.

 He waved to Roman and Virgil as they passed. They were probably scheming some new way to get out of doing classwork. Logan sped up, realizing it was nearly time for him to organize Ms. Kachinsky’s books. He had to finish before she left her room in the morning to teach. There was supposed to be another kid, too, so he couldn’t be late.

 “Hey, Lo, where’re you going?”

 “Kachinsky, remember?”

 “Ohhh, yeah.”

 The building was cold inside. He headed into his teacher’s room, decorated blandly with supposedly motivational posters. He’d volunteered to do this job, no one else was going to organize encyclopedias for a 70-year-old woman. He didn’t know why she even had so many.

 As he walked into the half-renovated closet, he was presented with many emotions.

 One, this man was munching on a sheet of paper.

 Two, he was not adhering to the dress code.

 Three, Logan was glad he wasn’t because a crop top and booty shorts looked damn good on him.

 “Um. Hello.”

 The teenager looked up, paper in hand. He stood up and tossed it in the trash, swallowing. Logan pointed slightly to the trash can.

 “You were eating a piece of paper.”

 “Yeah?”

 “That doesn’t seem like it should be healthy.”

 “I looked it up, it’s pretty much fine. Are you here to start on the books?”

 Logan nodded and the two of them got to work in silence. The boy was pretty, he had a slight mustache that doesn’t work for many people, but it did for him. He looked a little like Roman, but with a broader build and stronger jaw. He was exactly the type of person that Logan would have designed as the most attractive, in his opinion, if he would have ever designed an attractive man.

 “How’d you get roped into this?”

 The boy turned his brown eyes to look at Logan expectantly, who wasn’t expecting any kind of interaction with him.

 “I volunteered.”

 “Oh, teacher’s pet?”

 “She’s 70. No one else was going to help.”

 “Fair. This is my substitute for detention ‘cause I have to work after school. I’m Remus.”

 He stuck out his hand, which Logan took.

 “Logan.”

 “Oh, really? I was kinda looking into that name. One of my friends stole it, though.”

 A look of confusion crossed over Logan’s face, but it disappeared as Remus held out the trans pin on his jacket. He noticed now how many pins there really were. There was the trans one, he/him, a weed symbol (however he got away with that), a skull one, an atom one, a chemistry tube, a gay flag, and various other little ones. They offered quite a bit of insight onto his personality, which seemed more and more attractive as their interaction went on.

 Remus kept talking to him, which he didn’t quite understand. He didn’t have much of a personality, and what he did have, he didn’t really show. Most of his personality was just extreme emotions. He didn’t show those, either.

 They did get to talking, though. Remus somehow pried out Logan’s interest in science and his plans for the future. They talked about how they’d do anything in STEM if they could. They talked about how annoying humanities majors were, and how annoying they were to humanities majors.

 They finished the books, and Remus’s conversational skills got Logan to stay a tiny bit longer. Too much longer.

 Before they even knew, there was a click at the door. The closet was big, so it wasn’t like they were right next to the door.

 “What was that?”

 Logan headed cautiously to the door and turned the knob. It wouldn’t budge.

 “We’re locked in.”

 Remus whispered “shit” under his breath before running to the door and banging loudly. The sound was fast and loud. They were locked in, they wouldn’t make it to class, they’d get in trouble, he’d be awful all over again-

 He couldn’t breathe. He was a failure all over again. He needed to get to class, his nails dug into his skin, his razor could help now, but he was shaking now and everything was wrong and this was supposed to be a simple morning thing and he shouldn’t have stayed and he shouldn’t have liked Remus and he shouldn’t feel anything, not anger, not fear, not sadness, not love-

 “Hey, hey, are you okay? Is there anything I can do?”

 This is the first time you meet him and he’ll already know you’re fucked up.

 Logan dodged away from him, tripping over a chair and falling on the floor. He could barely control his movements, his arms and hands wouldn’t listen to him, and he was already seeing this, he was never going to get a boyfriend or make another friend and he was dumb for thinking that. He grasped his upper arms with his hands, digging his nails into them, hoping it would help enough to stay fucking still.

 “Logan, can you take my hands? If you don’t want to, that’s fine, I know we don’t know each other, I just wanna help.”

 Logan tentatively reached out his hand, well aware of the indents on his arm. Remus’s hand was warm and strong, so he reached out his other hand as well. He rocked slightly, trying to steady his breathing.

 “If you’re worried about getting in trouble, they can’t exactly blame us for getting trapped in a closet. It’s only one day, I’m sure it won’t hurt to miss a class or two. You can make up work and you can talk to your teachers if you’re concerned about missing important stuff.”

 “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. I’m sorry for wasting your time with that.”

 “Don’t be. It’s okay.”

 Logan leaned against the wall now, holding his knees. Remus slid down beside him.

 Why do you feel comfortable with him?

 Even from their distance, Logan could feel his presence there.

 You just met him.

 “Whaddya wanna do?”

 “...I think I have travel checkers.”

 “...Sure.”

 Logan searched through his bag, pulling out a tiny box and opened it. The little magnetic pieces had to be pried off of the board and rearranged. They played probably over ten times before the game couldn’t sustain their attention any longer. Logan started trying to stack them, knowing it wouldn’t work, but hey, he was bored. Remus took the ones Logan wasn’t using to form the shape of male genitals.

 “Hey, could I borrow some of yours?”

 Logan wasn’t getting anywhere anyway. He pushed his pieces over to Remus and leaned back on the wall. He checked his watch. It was already an hour past the time they were supposed to be in class, and no one had come by yet. They probably weren’t going to until Ms. Kachinsky came back to get her lunch. Since her room was being renovated, she was teaching health either in other classrooms or outside if they got desperate.

 Remus looked rather proud of himself when he finished his creation. 

 “So we’re stuck in here for another few hours, with nothing to occupy us but encyclopedias, whatever we have in our bags, and each other.”

 “The things you could do to someone in here… With someone. That’s not better.”

 “Who cares what anything implies at this point?”

 Remus joined Logan against the wall, staring blankly with him. 

 “You got your phone?”

 “Didn’t think I’d need it. How about you?”

 “Broken. Like it usually is. At least I have a job. And a brother.”

 Remus paused for a moment before speaking again.

 “I suppose we’re kinda obligated to become friends. After spending so much time alone in a closet.”

 “We could play a game. You do that with friends, right?”

 “Never have I ever been stuck in a closet before.”

 Logan held up his fingers and put one down.

 “If we’re talking metaphorical closets, yeah.”

 He took a moment to realize what he’d just said. He’d half-outed himself to a practical stranger. He hadn’t come out to anyone yet.

 “Oh, I guess I told a lie then.”

 Remus put one of his own fingers down.

 “...I’ve literally never come out before. You’re the first person and I barely know you. Heh, maybe I should actually tell my brother so he starts pointing out cute guys instead of girls.”

 “I’m honored. Your turn.”

 “Oh, yeah. I guess I’ll go for the boring one. Never have I ever been in a relationship. Not surprised, though.”

 “Can I be excused ‘cause it was a girl?”

 “Fair. You go.”

 “Mm… Never have I ever had a dog.”

 “Really? You seem like a dog person.”

 Logan put his second finger down, shifting slightly.

 “Nah. My dad’s allergic. I keep trying to sneak one in anyway, but my brother always catches me. Didn’t think it’d be that hard to get him on board. He loves dogs. Side effect of being the perfect child, I guess. You don’t let yourself do what you want. My parents are good parents, they just… trust him a bit more.”

 “It’s not so bad to be independent. No trans kid with transphobic parents ever chopped off their hair, or binded for the first time, or wore a wig or a dress with their parents’ permission.”

 “No one ever found their passion from someone who tried to choose their path.”

 “Very insightful.”

 “Thank you. Anyway, it’s your turn.”

 “Never have I ever worn a crop top.”

 “Hey, that’s cheating. You should, though, you’d look good.”

 “Would I?” Logan’s cheeks dusted slightly pink.

 “Would it be weird to offer you to try mine on?”

 “Probably, but I don’t think either of us are very normal. Plus, you develop a certain kind of relationship with someone you’re locked in the closet with.”

 Logan’s small blush only darkened as they turned away from each other and he heard fabric moving about. Remus tossed the shirt over his shoulder, and probably blushed as Logan took his own shirt off.

 Remus had buttoned his jacket to cover his chest. It didn’t completely cover it, but it didn’t matter to him all that much (Logan, however, turned red when he saw it). The shirt fit reasonably well, a little loose but it looked good nonetheless. Logan was hesitant, but Remus might have thought it looked very good according to the color of his cheeks.

 “Didn’t think you could get much hotter. I was very wrong.”

 Well that confirmed it.

 Logan didn’t usually get flustered so much that other people could tell, but this had triggered the darkest shade of pink to cross his cheeks. Remus giggled at that, which only made them darker.

 “Hah, made you blush.”

 “Was that your only intention?”

 “Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I meant it.”

 “We barely even know each other.”

 “Are you saying I’m not allowed to flirt?”

 “Do what you want, I guess. Sure. Flirt. All laws are broken, we’re locked in a closet.”

 “Whatever I want?”

 “Now it’s enough.”

 “Fine. Got any more ideas?”

 “Search for a morsel of food in my bag, maybe.”

 “I might have chips in my bag. If not, I may have to resort to cannibalism.”

 “Then you wouldn’t have anyone to talk to. And didn’t you say I was hot? Pretty sure a half-eaten body won’t be as nice to look at.”

 “You never know.”

 Remus found a small bag of chips in his bag, opening it and handing Logan some chips. They both munched quietly until it was done, then returned to their placement on the wall.

 “Oh, do you want your shirt back?”

 “Not really, but I should take it. Someday when we’re not trapped in a closet I��m gonna buy you a crop top.”

 They changed back into their original clothes, Remus nearly stealing a glance at Logan’s shirtless body.

 “How much time do you think we’ve got left?” Remus turned his head lazily towards the other boy.

 “Probably another hour or so.”

 “We never finished the game, did we?”

 “No. Your turn, I believe.”

 “Except now we both have to put a finger down ‘cause you wore the crop top.”

 “That’s not how it works!”

 “Hey, I put a finger down for metaphorical closets. Plus I let you wear my crop top, it’s only fair.”

 “Well… I guess I have two left now.”

 “Hah, three. I’m winning. Never have I ever,” Remus began, “eaten pie. It’s the one sweet thing I’ve never had. My mom tries to make it sometimes, but it always gets burnt. I’ve tried to convince them to let me eat it anyway.”

 “Hm. Me neither.”

 “Seriously? Hasn’t basically everyone eaten pie?”

“Too much sugar.”

 “At least it’s fruit, though. I mean, you accepted the chips, those aren’t exactly healthy.”

 “That’s an exception. We don’t have any other food.”

 “Well, fair. Your turn.”

 “Never have I ever… heh, never have I ever been happy. Shit, no, didn’t mean to say that.”

 It’s not that inaccurate, though.

 “Guess we’d both have to put a finger down. You’re smiling.”

 “Hey, doesn’t mean I’m happy.”

 “I know how smiling works. If it’s real, your eyes squint at least a little bit. Your eyes are squinting a lot. It’s cute.”

 Logan accepted this and put another finger down. He hated feeling because he knew what it did to people when he did. When he was happy, he wasn’t on guard. He had to be careful about what he was doing, else he could end up being insensitive.

 “Okay. If I can get one more, I win. Never have I ever been on a plane.”

 “God, I wish.”

 “Oh, come on. If you end up beating me, I’ll eat your homework.”

 “Never have I ever had to copy someone’s homework.”

 “Well I guess you managed to get both of us to one. My threat still stands. Never have I ever played piano.”

 “Nope.”

 “I’m gonna change that at somepoint. You’d be hot playing piano.”

 Logan leaned in closer.

 “Never have I ever been as pretty as you.”

 “We both lose.”

 “That- doesn’t even work.”

 “Sure it does.”

 “God, I barely know you and I’m flirting with you.”

 “Like we’ve both said, locked in a closet. Who cares what we do? Honestly I’d be down to fuck if we weren’t in school.”

 “We’re teenagers.”

 “So? Heh, we’ve already taken our clothes off in front of each other.”

 “We weren’t looking at each other.”

 They heard footsteps from outside. Remus got up immediately and started knocking on the door as loudly as he could. They thankfully got closer, and they were both relieved when the doorknob turned and the classroom’s light poured in and it wasn’t just a dim lamp lighting the room. Logan felt as if he’d lost something, despite the return to class supposedly being a good thing. He felt just a little bit emptier.

 “Ms. Kachinsky! I apologize, it seems as if we were accidentally locked in.”

 “Oh no, I’m sorry, boys. I mean, I’m the one who locked you in here, I’m guessing. Well, you’d better get to class. I’ll send you both with a note.”

 She wrote them both a note and they went on their way, no way of knowing what she’d just created.

[sweetpea-willybee]

Four way lovelies (part 1/2)

Fandom: sanders sides

Pairings: LAMP 

description: Virgil doesn’t have the best relationship with his family. He never has. But when he meet Roman, Patton, and Logan, thing look like they might turn around. (P.S. everyone is cute, fluff happens)

Warnings: !THIS IS A TICKLE FIC (in part 2)!, bad family relationships (for those who are triggered by that), slight angst but it gets better, FLUFF✨❤️☺️🥺💅🏽😭🏳️‍🌈🤫😚😛☠️

—————

Virgil never really had the best relationship with his family. He loved them, he really did! But...he was always in his room and his family never knew how to help/deal with him when he needed it. They just didn’t understand each other. And that’s fine. He’s fine. He doesn’t need people to live his life.

At least, that's what he thought two years ago.

~ flashback ~

“I can’t deal with you right now Virgil” , that was his mother speaking. Virgil currently sat at a small coffee table at the corner of the college roof. He had been trying to enjoy the pleasant weather and soft breeze when she called. “Look- I love you, really, but ever since your dad left and your sister moved away with her partner I just haven’t had the patience to try to put up with you. You’re never out of your room when you are at home, you always hide when I invite guests over, you never wear anything but hoodies even when it’s in the middle of a heatwave, you just never do anything like a functional human being except keep your room clean! I can’t deal with that right now, ok?!” His mother sighed heavily as if his introverted tendencies actually hurt her. Her ego maybe. “Just- just stay at the dorms this weekend, please. Or, you know what? Stay at the dorms until summer break. During the break I’ll be visiting your sister so you can have the house to yourself, I doubt she’d want you to influence her daughter to be like you.” And with that, his mother, his own mother, hung up on him after acting like he had killed someone.

Powering his phone off, he numbly bent over the table. Tears silently dripped down his cheeks and left streaks in his makeup. He didn’t know if he was sad or if he even cared, but his tears seemed to decide for him. He didn’t even care about what she thought about his behavior, it had always been that way and it always will be. But the part that really gave him a sting, was the part about his sister not wanting him to be around his niece. Angela was only 2 but was being sucked away from him like the rest of his family. Huh, figures. No one wanted to be around the guy who barely spoke and wore spooky makeup, not even his family could see past that.

A bitter sadness washed over him but before he could drown, a strong hand landed on his shoulder. Startled out of his thoughts, Virgil jumped out of his seat and whipped around to face the newcomer who’s hand didn’t let go but migrated to gently cradling his shoulder. When he faced the owner of said hand, he was almost blinded. The person -a medium height man- was decked head to toe in white and gold and bright red. His dress shirt was tight fitting but loose at the elbows and down, with small gold tassels hanging from one wrist. The man’s pants were made similarly but one difference was that a strip of bright red fabric with gold designs was tied at the top and the excess hung to his left hip. He looked like a real life Disney prince. But what made Virgil shrink into himself was not the man's attire and confident build, but his soft sympathetic expression.

“Oh- uh- I’ll leave if you need this table. Sorry about the noise.” Virgil managed to stutter out, looking towards the ground. At that, Virgil heard two more footsteps approached and looked up to find a short man with a light blue t-shirt littered with puppies and kittens and brown slacks, and a tall tense man in a dark blue polo shirt with a silver tie and black work pants that rolled up to reveal light blue and red ankle bracelets. Suddenly Virgil was very aware of his messy appearance in front of these very attractive men.

Violently, Virgil reached up to scrub his smudged eyeshadow away as he turned his back to the beautiful strangers. He scrubbed with one hand and the other fumbled for the discarded phone on the table. Eventually his hand found it but just as he was about to break for it, a hand softly snaked around his bicep and caught his attention.

It was the man in light blue, he realized, who was currently holding onto his arm and tucking Virgil’s head into the crook of his neck. Virgil’s breath caught in his throat but just as he thought to pull away, the man’s other hand found a home in his chocolate hair. Dangit, Virgil thought defeatedly as his body sagged unwillingly into the strangers warm embrace.

“Why- why are you hugging me?” Virgil hushedly questioned, worried he’d scare the other away if he spoke too loudly.

“Because we heard your conversation accidentally, and you looked like you needed a hug.” The man said simply. They stayed there for a few more seconds before the stranger in blue abruptly tore away and gasped loudly. Virgil was about to apologize for whatever he did wrong when he noticed the excited stars in the others' eyes. “We never introduced ourselves! Silly me! Anyways, my name is Patton Costly, that’s Logan Croft-” the man in dark blue nodded “and that’s Roman Pascal!” The first stranger in blinding colors beamed and waved. “What’s yours?”

Blinking at the question, Virgil dumbly let out, “huh?”

The other man - Patton- just giggled and exclaimed “your name, silly! What’s your name!”

Virgil felt his face heat up and choked out “Virgil Rayne, sorry for the distraction. You probably didn’t plan to be cheering a random stranger up for your Sunday afternoon.” He finished with a mumble.

“Nonsense! I’m always up to meet new people, plus, Roman had heard you did the scenery art for his theatre club and wanted to thank you!” Patton dismissed cheerily, his warm persona never dropping like Virgil kept expecting it to.

“Of course! I always wondered what fine artist allowed us all to be blessed with their masterpieces!” The golden man -Roman- gushed. The man in the tie still hasn’t said anything, but this was the moment he decided to interject.

“Indeed. If I may ask, what was your inspiration? The second to last piece you did seemed very similar to Claude Monet’s pieces. I’ve never met anyone who outwardly expressed an interest in him, most only mentioning their favorites and leaving it at that. I find your version of his style quite interesting, I'd like to ask about it some other time if you’d let me?”

Blinking at the tense man, Virgil barely registered what he said. It seemed he was just as nervous as Virgil felt.

“U-um, sure” Virgil hesitantly agreed.

“And, kiddo, you don’t have to talk about that phone call at all, but would you like some company? It’s never fun to be completely alone once someone close hurts you like that. We all know that by now.” Patton added softly. Virgil’s eyes widened and he turned to look at the other two, though they didn’t seem to have any objections. One nodding more enthusiastically than the other. Turning back to Patton, he searched the man's face for a lie. A trick. But al, Virgil found was honesty and soft hope. Which was different.

The only times Virgil had seen someone hope he would be around, they were more demanding than asking. But here he was, being asked whether or not he wanted to spend time with someone. Not demanded, and not ordered. Asked. He could say no if he really wanted to and they wouldn’t stop him. But…

Virgil found himself being drawn to these people. They were all so different from each other but seemed really close. Like, a family. Virgil wanted to be like that too. So he shyly ducked his head and quietly agreed.

~ end of flashback ~

That day had led to many more days of just hanging out and supporting each other. A couple days in Virgil had found out that they were all dating each other and that had stung a little. He didn’t know why, but it did. It wasn’t until he was pulled into one of their impromptu cuddle sessions did he realize, the realization coming in a life crisis and gay panic. Though, as long as they were happy, he was happy.

Years passed like that, and they became closer every passing day. At some point they all agreed to move in together, the being all the family they needed. The apartment was small but was more than enough for each of them, and they soon fell into a rhythm. Eventually, the best day in Virgil’s life came along. That day is today.

“Virgil~!!” A voice rang through the apartment. Roman’s, judging by the dramatic flourish ending his name. Virgil, who was laying on his bed, groaned knowing they would get complaints about it from their neighbors later. He resigned himself to his fate though, and pushed out of his room.

“Virgil, come here kiddo!” Ah, there was Patton. Ok, Virgil decided it was safe since Patton was there, Roman couldn’t get away with his shenanigans with patton.

“Virgil, we require your company please!” Logan? Ok, now Virgil was curious. It had to be something important if they got Logan in on it. He sped up his walk a little, getting worried. However, right as he was about to step through the doorway to the living room, there was a pop and suddenly pastel purple confetti rained down on him. A hand shot out from behind him and wrapped a cloth around his eyes, effectively cutting him off.

“Wha-” he began to exclaim before he felt strong arms sweep him off his feet and start carrying him in another direction.

“Relax stormcloud, it’s just us!” Roman’s voice said, obviously amused.

“Yeah. Okay. But why is this happening? I seem to have forgotten the “get kidnapped by the others” bit in my schedule” Virgil deadpanned, the curious tilt in his voice ruining all attempts to sound disinterested.

“It’s a surprise, blackberry!” Sounded Patton’s voice somewhere off to the side. Virgil blushed from the fond nickname but didn’t question them anymore. They walked for a little longer before he got settled onto what seemed to be the couch.

“Okay, on the count of three you can take off the blind fold!” Patton squealed excitedly.

“One” Logan counted from somewhere in front of him.

“Two~!” Roman sang from around Logan’s left.

“Three!!” Patton rushed out a few seconds early, seemingly too impatient to wait any longer. He was coming from Logan’s right.

Virgil pulled at the knot behind his head and immediately gasped at what he saw.

In front of him, Roman was on one knee with Logan and Patton mimicking him on either side. They all held a rose (Logan’s was black, Patton’s was light purple, and romans was white) up to him in an offering. Each of them wore beautiful suits (Logan’s was navy with a black tie and silver hemming, Patton’s was white with a light blue tie, and Roman’s was red with a golden tie) that fit their shapes perfectly and complemented their features. They all looked a little goofy though, considering they never wore suits (except for Logan) so Virgil couldn’t help but bite his lip so as to not laugh. Even before they spoke, Virgil started blushing and tearing up.

“Virgil, we’ve been dating for four years now. Throughout that entire time it felt like something or someone was missing. When we met you it felt like we were finally whole. At first we decided not to tell you because we didn’t know how you would feel.” Roman began, pouring his heart and soul into every word.

“We thought you might push us away, and we would go back to being half of a whole. We didn’t want to risk losing you, our lovely Virgil. Though, we recently decided that if anything was going to push you away from us, keeping this secret was going to be it.” Patton continued, a soft smile playing at his lips.

“So here we are. We know we probably haven’t done much to earn your romantic feelings, but we wanted to try. It’s perfectly ok if you say no though, we wouldn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want. But, just know that we...we love you Virgil. We are so lucky we met, so lucky we get to call you our friend. So, will you do us the honor of letting us call you our boyfrie-“ Logan never got to finish his sentence, because a moment later Virgil launched himself off of the couch and hooked his arms around all three of them, pulling them into a hug. The hug was a bit awkward and not very cushiony, but none of them would have it any differently.

Both Virgil and Roman burst into loud sobbing while Patton laughed hard and Logan wore a dazed, relieved and proud grin. They stayed there for what felt like hours, just hugging each other and never letting go. Though at some point they decided to take themselves to the couch, instead of staying laid out on the floor.

“You never answered though.” Roman murmured once they all settled into a pile on the couch. Virgil was laying on his chest with Logan seated behind him, petting Roman’s hair where it got messed up during Virgil’s attack. Patton was sitting in between Logan’s legs, letting Roman lay his head on his lap.

“Seriously? I’d think pouncing on you guys and staining your shirts with happy tears would be enough of an answer for you.” Virgil mumbled back, a teasing lilt to his voice. “Sorry about that by the way.” he added sheepishly.

“Not to worry, Virgil. The stains won’t last. Though, Roman has a point.” Logan reassured him.

Virgil didn’t know how to deny the others so aphe blushed furiously, pouted, and said “Logan, Patton, and Roman, I love you with all of my heart and would love to be your boyfriend.”

When he opened his eyes again, all of the others were staring at him wide eyed and slack jawed. Blushing darker, Virgil glanced to the side and asked “what?”

“Just never thought I could love you even more than I already do. Turns out I was very wrong.” Roman replied without missing a beat, still staring Starry-eyed. The smooth show off.

“I take it back, I love you a little less now.”

“You wound me, panic at the everywhere!”

[deadanddeactivated]

Jocks and Goths

Fandom: Sanders Sides, Highschool au Pairing: Intruality Characters: Thomas, Logan, Remus, Deceit, Roman, Virgil, Patton Notes: Day 17 for @tsshipmonth2020 - intruality.  No this was not written before Dukceit day, I’ve literally written this since posting that.  Sometimes fics take three weeks and sometimes they take two hours.  This took two hours. Summary:   One's a Goth, one's a Jock. They never really meant to become friends.

AO3

--

Even since moving to Sides High, Patton has successfully managed to avoid Remus Duke.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like the guy, although he did find a lot of what Remus said to be… unnerving.  And the other did have really large, very toned, mildly terrifying muscles.  Plus everything he did was loud enough Patton sometimes flinched.

But!  It wasn’t that Patton thought he was bad or anything!!  It’s not bad that Remus is healthy, and it’s not Remus’ fault that Patton overhears things, and maybe Remus’ doesn’t mean to be so loud.  Patton has nothing against the man himself.

Virgil, however, does. 

Patton’s not sure what happened between Virgil and Remus, because it happened before Patton transferred to the school.  He’s pretty sure it had something to do with a romantic relationship?  Whatever it was, it left the two with a horrible, terrible relationship.  They don’t get on, at all.  And since Patton is Virgil’s friend (since Virgil is Patton’s first and only friend) doesn’t that mean Patton has to share that grudge?  Virgil’s never said Patton can’t be friends with Remus, they’ve never even talked about Remus, but Patton’s pretty sure that’s like… a Friend Rule, or something.  

The point is, Patton has managed never to say a word to Remus one way or the other.  A carefully held record that’s ruined when they’re paired up for a history assignment.

Okay, Patton tells himself, this’ll be fine.  It’s just an assignment, surely Virgil won’t mind.  Right?

“Patton Heart, right?”  Remus says his name and it takes everything in Patton not to flinch.

“That’s um, that’s me.”  He mumbles, letting his pastel blue hair fall in his eyes as he avoids looking at Remus.

“Great.”  Remus grins, dragging a seat to Patton’s desk and sitting in it the wrong way round.  “You got your heart set on anything for this because I think we should do Bloody Mary, or maybe Genghis Khan, oh!  Or Vlad the Impaler!” 

“That sounds a bit… graphic.”  Patton says.  For their project they have to represent a historical figure and the impact they had on the world from a ‘unique’ angle (Virgil would probably complain about how vague the word ‘unique’ was, or maybe he’d complain that Patton has to work with Remus for the project.  Should Patton even tell him?)

“Yeah!”  Remus grins, like that’s a positive thing. 

“Can we do someone that didn’t cause so much bloodshed?”  Patton asks. 

“I mean, I guess.  If you can think of anyone more interesting.”  Remus says, sighing like it’s some big request.  

“I, um, I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head.”  Patton admits, wincing.  Remus lets out an exaggerated hum.

“Okay, meet me in the library after school.  We can try and find someone.”  He suggests.

“Okay.”  Patton agrees meekly.  Satisfied, Remus gets up from the chair and moves to a different group.  A group that has popular people with tone muscles and busy lives.

God, Patton thinks with a sigh, this is going to be a long project.  Any project with a jock was doomed to be long.

--

“You want to get ice-cream or something?”  Virgil asks Patton after school that day.  Rare is the day Virgil doesn’t have some show rehearsal to get to - lights to set up, props to organize, actors to chase down.  The life of a theatre geek is never boring, he often tells Patton, especially a theatre techie.

Which just makes Patton feel all the worse for having to say no.

“I’m sorry.”  He says.  “I have to work on a group project for history.”

“Who’d you get stuck with?”  Virgil asks.  Patton hesitates but he can’t exactly lie to Virgil, can he?  Just hope that Virgil doesn’t get annoyed.

“...Remus.”  He admits.

“Ouch.”  Virgil says with a wince.  “Good luck keeping him on track for long enough to finish a project.”

“We have to pick a historical figure and everyone he’s suggesting is really gory and brutal.”  Patton says, feeling physical relief that Virgil doesn't seem to care.

“Sounds like Remus.”  Virgil huffs, rolling with his eyes.  “Maybe pick a doctor, that should have enough blood and gore to keep him interested.”

“Oh!”  Patton lights up as an idea comes to him.  “Mary Seacole!  Virgil, you’re the best.”

“I try.”  Virgil grins.

--

Remus likes the idea of doing the unrated nurse from the crimean war and so they quickly get to work.

And they quickly get distracted from work, too, because it seems impossible for Remus to keep his mind on any one thing.  At first it’s… well, Patton doesn’t like it.  He just wants to get this project done and over with.

But then Remus wears him down.

“I’m just saying, names influence who we are in like.  I mean, just look at Ms Maricolt!  She looks like a horse!”  Remus says at some point near the end of the second day and Patton really, really doesn’t mean to laugh because it’s Remus and the joke is a little mean.  But it’s also a pun, and Patton has a soft spot for puns.

“That’s mean.”  He says once he’s collected himself, if only out of principle.

“But it got you to laugh!”  Remus grins.  “And to look at me.”  He adds.  

Oh, Patton realizes as he quickly looks away again.  He hadn’t noticed he hadn’t looked at Remus.

“Aw, no, don’t look away again I like your eyes!  They’re really eye-inspiring.”  The pun is bad, really bad, but Patton still chuckles.

“That was terrible.”  He complains.

“Are you remus-manding.”  Remus continues, grinning.

“Oh my gosh.”  Patton laughs.  “They’re getting worse!”

“Aw, don’t be like that.  I think I’m Patt-on the right direction.”  Remus says.

“I Seacole what you’re doing here, it’s bad.”  Patton returns, laughing at Remus’ gasp.

“Oh it is on goth-boy.”  He decides.  They don’t do any more studying that day, distracted by their pun-off.

--

“So are we meeting up again tomorrow?”  Patton asks the next day as they back up.

“Can’t do tomorrow, I’ve got training.”  Remus shakes his head.  

“Oh, right.”  Patton says.  

“You could come if you want.”  Remus suggests. 

“I don’t think that’s really my crowd.”  Patton mumbles.  He can just picture it now, Patton sitting in his black attire, the only colour his blue hair, while the popular kids are right there.  Definitely within name calling distance.  

Nevermind what Virgil would think.  God, Patton doesn’t even want to imagine how bad his best friend would be.

“You’ll fit in just fine!”  Remus claims.  “Or, maybe not.  But I’ll make sure everyone leaves you alone.”  

“I think Virgil and I were heading out anyway.”  Patton says and then immediately regrets it as a frown takes over Remus’ face.  Like he’s tasted a lemon or something else unpleasant.  Oh no, now Remus was going to hate him.  Maybe he’ll tell Virgil he and Patton were almost-friends and then Virgil will hate him too and Patton will go back to being the friendless loser all over again. 

“Sorry.”  Remus’ voice cuts through his panic, making Patton look up.

“Huh?”  Patton frowns, confused.

“You looked like you were freaking out a bit.”  Remus says.  “I didn’t mean to stress you out.  Virgil and I just don’t get on.  Bad breakup and all that, but that’s on us not you.”

“Oh.”  Patton says, though he can’t say anything Remus just said commuted just now.

“Hey!  Pass me your phone, I’ll put my number in so we can study on the weekend.”  Remus decides, changing the subject before Patton can catch up.  Patton does what he’s told and soon he has a new number in his phone labeled ‘Hot Jock’.  “Alright, I’ll see you then.”

“Okay.”  Patton says.  “Um, bye.”

--

The project lasts two weeks and in those two weeks Patton and Remus chat.  A lot.  They talk during their study sessions, they text each other all the time, Remus even gives him a wave when they pass each other in the hall.

It’s official, they aren’t ‘almost friends’ they’re friends.  In fact Patton… Patton will admit that he might want to be more than that.

Which means Virgil’s definitely going to hate him.

The thought bubbles in his stomach the day after they hand in the assignment.  When Patton has no more excuse for messaging Remus, and yet he doesn’t stop.  How is he meant to explain that to Virgil?

Worse yet are the messages he gets that night, when they should both be asleep.

Want to go out this weekend?

On a date

A romantic date

Patton’s half way through answering ‘yes’ when he stops.

He can’t say yes.  Isn’t there some kind of code against dating exes?  Patton can’t say yes.

Except he super wants to.  Very, very wants to.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe he should ask Virgil first.  Then there’ll be no bad blood, right?  

Patton hopes so.

As for the message to Remus, he doesn’t answer.

--

Virgil and Patton always walk to school together.  They’ve just hit their school’s street when Virgil sighs and stops.

“Okay.”  He says.  “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?”  Patton squeaks.  “Nothings wrong!”

“Patton, I know you better than that.”  Virgil rolls his eyes, crossing his arms.  “Just tell me what’s up.”

“Well…” Patton starts slowly then, with a deep breath, he tries to say it all at once.  “You know how Remus and I were doing that project?  Well we sort of maybe got along and we’re kind of maybe friends, and he asked me out last night.  Like out, out.  And I want to say yes but I know you don’t like him and I don’t want to lose you as a friend, so can I say yes?”

For a moment Virgil just blinks at him, brain trying to commute the word vomit Patton just unleashed.

“Okay,” he finally starts, “let me get this right.  You and Remus are friends, and he asked you out on a date, and you want to say yes but only if I’m okay with it because you don’t want me to be mad you’re dating him?”  He rephrases.  Patton nods.  “Patton, of course you can say yes.”

“You don’t mind?”  Patton checks.

“Not at all.  If you like him, go for it.  We’ll still be friends, I promise.”  Virgil says and Patton feels his shoulders slump a little.

“But didn’t you two date?  Won’t it be weird?”  He asks.

“What?!”  Virgil frowns.  “Remus and I never dated!”

“What?”  Patton frowns right back.  Hadn’t Remus said something about a ‘bad breakup’ the other day?

“We used to be friends, us and Dante.  I dated Dante, and when we broke up the friend joke kind of fell apart.”  Virgil explains.

“Dante?”  Patton repeats.  “The school captain?  I didn’t think he was your type.”  

“He’s not.”  Virgil confirms.  “I just found that out the hard way.”

“Oh, so you haven’t dated Remus and you really don’t mind if I do?”  Patton repeats, just to clarify.

“Patton, even if you dated Dante I’d still be your friend.”  Virgil assures.  “The important thing is that you're happy.”  Patton doesn’t mean to start crying but well, it’s just so nice to hear that.  Especially after the stress of the past couple weeks.  “There, there.  You’ll wreck your make-up.”  Virgil says, even as he pulls Patton in for a hug.

As soon as Patton’s reapplied, he tells Remus he’d love to go on a date.

--

They go ice-skating.  Patton’s a little nervous, because he’s never gone before, but Remus goes all the time so he’s happy to teach.

“Patton, I’m wearing knife shoes.  This is literally my favourite thing.  Except you.”  Remus says, grinning when Patton’s face goes bright red.  They exhaust themselves over the next few hours, skating together and just… enjoying their time.  It’s the most fun Patton’s had in a while.

And when it’s over, and Remus has walked him home, he gets a soft kiss (that quickly turns heavy) to remember it by.