#him being alone is a little bit heartwrenching

[juminies]

we're back to the childhood theme and he is so cute 🥹

[vickyvicarious]

By this time I had searched all the tombs in the chapel, so far as I could tell; and as there had been only three of these Un-Dead phantoms around us in the night, I took it that there were no more of active Un-Dead existent.

I think this could be a great hook to a sequel/spinoff of Dracula, which doesn't negate the success of our heroes by contradicting the rules we're told/what we are shown.

So, Dracula is still dead. But Van Helsing missed a fourth vampire. Perhaps a new one, turned by the vampire ladies while Dracula was away, and who thus doesn't have a space in amongst the tombs in the chapel like the rest. Perhaps he missed a tomb along the way.

It could be mostly focused on the locals, who thought they were finally freed of the terror that has been ruling over them for so long. They begin to enjoy themselves once again, to relax their guards a little, to feel happy and safer than ever before, as the Count is gone and the wolves act like normal wild animals, and no one is dying anymore. And when some of the children are too pale/tired and start to tell stories of playing a game with a new friend in the woods, perhaps the adults refuse to hear them, fail to recognize the signs, because they aren't used anymore to victims surviving an attack. And they don't want it to be true, anyway, they desperately don't want to believe that it truly isn't over yet.

Until something happens to convince at least one of them that a vampire truly is still out there. A personal encounter, from which they're only saved by their loyal dog, maybe.

I kind of like the idea of the main character being the adult daughter of the mother who in canon was killed by wolves - perhaps she barely survived and was later turned by the vampire women to become one of their 'sisters'. The daughter will have to hunt her own mother. (This admittedly is still a 'didn't die after all' twist, but far less egregious since her death wasn't shown outright, we just heard her becoming silent and wolves leaving while licking their lips.)

Or, keeping the mother as a red herring by making her into a werewolf, who the daughter thinks is the vampire all along. Only to eventually find out that the vampire is actually her little brother who the mother 'died' for (in this verse probably a bit older, child rather than baby), and now they have to decide whether to kill him or protect him, and in so doing begin again the supernatural oppression that has suffocated their people for so long. Maybe at different points the daughter can be opposed to the mother before they end up coming to an understanding and working together (depending on your version of werewolf). Maybe the howl that saved her from the attack wasn't her dog after all but her mother in wolf form.

It could be a totally unrelated vampire as well, but I think that loses some of the emotional connection that these options have. Still, the decision to approach and even enter into the Castle alone would be huge, for these people who have lived in its shadow their whole lives. And I would hope for an explanation why the vampires let the child turn when normally they just kill their meals permanently, or why the fourth vampire didn't try to eat Jonathan/welcome Mina and menace Van Helsing. But still, if you want to build off the book it's a good starting point.

I think you could get a really heartwrenching and scary story out of this premise. Definitely better stuff than the 'actually, Dracula just pretended to die (and was the good guy all along)' stuff.

[floofz]

i just finished watching ep five... can i know your thoughts on it

OUGH... so many thoughts my dude... where do i even start...

well first of all this episode completely wrecked me emotionally. domestic violence is always hard to watch, but damn did they do their best to make it as horrible as possible (in a good way! its amazing how studio lan sheds light on these kinds of things happening). the animation - the expressions, the hitting, the bruises - the audio design - god the sounds of the violence alone were so fucking heartwrenching. and then the involvement of the kids too. it was so so painful to watch but it was so incredibly well done.

we finally get to know more about the two siblings (and also confirmation that the two are actually involved! plus that lu guang turns out not to be the good brother in the childrens drawing). the scene with cheng xiaoshi being amused about the brother's behaviour and childish thinking seems funny at first, but when you later see the family situation theyre in, it all just makes so much painful sense. he has all this rage and strong sense of justice in him bc they are growing up in this unstable household full of violence. its heartbreaking.

the boy the brother met at the fountain, i first thought it was a young cheng xiaoshi bc of the haircut, but his voice was very different so now im perplexed. they could just be trying to throw us off here but i cant imagine them picking such a drastically different voice from cheng xiaoshi for him, especially bc we already heard his voice as a kid in s1. now my guess is maybe a young qian jin? it would check out with what we know about younger him. and i mean were 5 episodes in we kinda need to get to all the connections eventually.

now, lu guang and cheng xiaoshi. i've already seen people on reddit talk about how lu guang seems off again this episode. what particularly makes me think though is that one scene where their connection supposedly went "bad". i mean, everything, especially in animation, is very intentional so there must be much more to it. im wondering if someone interfered with their connection. one theory i also saw and thought about it a bit more on my own: what if red eyes - either one of the siblings - somehow possessed lu guang during their dive for a short time, making him unable to talk to cheng xiaoshi on his own, hence the silence. and after that he also doesnt realize he was silent for a while. and bc one of the siblings took hold over him for a sec, they saw what lu guang saw and that would explain why the sister supposedly knows cheng xiaoshi (and wants to talk to him at the police station) and that he was involved with her past through the dive. though i guess she could also know about him from qian jin. idk, I JUST HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

all in all a fucking fantastic episode but i did have to take a break after watching it. its very emotionally draining. but you can definitely tell the care and thought they put into this.

OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT. the little soft expressions and smiles from lu guang when cheng xiaoshi acted cute as xixi in the episode made me explode<3 gdi once again cheng xiaoshi never sees his soft expressions, LU GUANG LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT WHEN HE CAN SEE.

anyway yeah lots of thoughts 😭 PLS also let me know what you think!!!

[rainswhenyourehere]

⋆ there's a lake i know ⋆

characters ☆ alexander hamilton, aaron burr pairings ☆ alexander hamilton/aaron burr

tws ☆ almost drowning

whumpcember day 5. impaled alt 3. drowning + alt 4. ice coming up w/the title of this chapter was way too hard lmao also apologies - this one is a bit late bcs i fell asleep

fic under cut

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Burr rolled his eyes, a chuckle escaping him as he watched Hamilton stumble on the ice. He had proposed ice skating for their date, and Alexander had shyly admitted that he had never skated before. Aaron had been more than willing to teach.

With swift strides, he made his way onto the frozen lake, stopping next to Alexander, who looked at him, mouth open with astonishment.

“What— how do you do that? I can barely stand!” Alex asked, a smile on his face. Then, as if to prove his words, he lost his balance, falling into Aaron’s arms, who catched him easily.

“A lot of practice. I’ve also been doing this since I was like four, so…,” Aaron trailed off as he helped Alexander back up. The other hit him playfully.

“How do you even move on these?” Alexander’s focus drifted back to the task at hand as he looked down at his skates. “It’s like— I don’t know, it’s like I was just born? Do babies feel like this all the time?”

Aaron laughed, causing Alex to shoot him an exasperated look. Gently, Aaron grabbed his hands, starting to skate backwards, his pace slow. “Just follow me.”

Alexander staggered a little at first, but he soon got the hang of it, smiling as his boyfriend guided him. Aaron felt his heart melt. He would give anything for that smile, anyday, anywhere, anytime.

“You think you can try to do it alone?” Aaron asked, and Alexander nodded. Aaron let go and watched from the side as Alexander took a few small steps before picking up the speed. Soon he was nearly flying across the ice, as if he was the one who had had years of skating experience.

Aaron tilted his head as his gaze followed Alexander, endearment evident in his eyes. The sun shone down, illuminating Alexander in a warm light.

Perhaps it was the admiring that distracted him, but next thing Aaron knew, there was a hole in the ice, a heartwrenching shout of fear echoed in his ears and Alexander was nowhere to be seen.

✮

Alexander hadn’t been this happy in days. There had always been something in his subconscious, whether it be a project, an essay or an upcoming exam. Yet somehow Aaron could always find time and peace for them, a bubble in his usually hectic life for calming down.

Alexander looked at the trails he made in the ice, amazed at how natural ice skating felt after he had gotten the hang of it. He chuckled, let out a breath of relief, but then he heard an ominous crack, a hollow sound coming from under his feet.

Dread forming a pit in his stomach, Alexander looked down at the ice again, taking a hesitant step.

And then the cold swallowed him. He was drowning, he was drowning, he was drowning . He heard himself shout before water covered him, and he was back on that island, water everywhere, screaming, crying, thunder, water, so much water.

His lungs were burning, his eyes were stinging, images of those dead bodies flashing in his mind. He needed to get out, he needed to get out .

Alexander struggled to push his body upwards, expecting the sweet rush of air, but instead, he was met with ice. Even more panic surged through him, his heartbeat ringing in his ears.

But then he emerged, gasps turning into coughs as he scrambled to get a grasp on the slippery ice. Everything was blurred, he couldn't get a hold of the ice, he was going to drown—

“Alexander!” a sharp, familiar voice rang out and Alexander saw something being thrown next to him. “Grab the rope!”

So he did. Alexander channeled all of his remaining energy into clasping his hands around the thick item, only relaxing when he felt arms wrapped around him.

✮

Aaron held Alexander close to his chest, gently patting the other’s back as coughs racked his body. Eventually they stopped, and Alexander took deep breaths. Aaron’s brows were furrowed, tears brimming in his eyes as what had just happened sunk in.

God, he had almost lost Alex.

“Shh, you're safe now. You're safe, you're safe, you're safe…,” he repeated it like a mantra, unsure which one of them he was trying to convince.

Alexander sighed and leaned into Aaron, his breathing slightly unsteady. Then he closed his eyes and shivered slightly. “Cold,” he whispered softly.

Sure enough, his lips did seem a little bluish as his teeth chattered. Aaron sighed, gathered himself before picking Alex up.

“Whuh- Where are you-,” Alex started, but Aaron shushed him.

“We're going to get you warm,” he said, the comfort of their dorm already in his mind. Maybe he could also get a cup of hot chocolate for Alex.

Upon hearing this, the boy in his arms relaxed, nodding slightly. “‘kay.”

[donnies-bo-staff]

//Minor idw spoilers

I feel like the fact that Raph was kinda forced into that guardian role is tragic

He's said multiple times that his real passion is raising things, gardening but he could never indulge in that passion becouse of the circumstances he was born into

So instead of being allowed to remedy his internalised anger, he had to, his while life, let it fester and grow untill there was nothing left but that primal rage

It is said he was "chosen" by his mother becouse of being the strongest, but what does that really mean when being like that was never his choice

He is a strong soul, stronger than the rest, but it's just another cage life put him in.

Another cage he's in alone, even when his brothers are nearby someone is always lurking to snatch the little bits of happiness he has

All becouse of a decision made decades ago by someone he have never really known

Life isn't fair in idw but that constant struggle to be someone you want to be but never achieving it becouse the world won't let you is heartwrenching

[dwellordream]

Initial Impressions of HotD, Episode 7

be warned there are spoilers below.

i have read fire & blood, but i am not judging the show as to its accuracy towards the book, as i had major issues with fire & blood, particularly in regard to how grrm wrote the female characters and handled the Dance.

this is not an evaluation of it as an adaptation but on its own merits.

It’s cool to see the Velaryons honoring the Merling King, god of the Narrow Sea, in their funeral ceremonies. it’s very unique to them, not a Valyrian thing.

Daemon letting out a little hysterical giggle during the funeral is.... not a good look.

Jace now fully understands that Harwin is his father and is angered over his death, which makes sense as to why he has little interest in comforting Laena’s girls, since he can’t publicly mourn Harwin.

Aemond defending Helaena from Aegon’s mockery is sweet. His very blatant crush on his elder sister is.... jarring, though obviously not that shocking, given the way they were raised as Targaryen princelings. The show continues to fully lean into the notion that Helaena may have some powers of prophecy, though it leaves her friendless and lonely. 

Luke breaking down in tears about the future and losing more family members is heartwrenching, knowing what comes later on in the story.

I wish the show was not going this route with Corlys’ relationship to his children. We barely saw him interact with Laena or Laenor, and his angry denial about Laenor’s sexuality wasn’t really necessary. Fire & Blood always seemed to imply he was proud of his son and didn’t give a damn about who he was attracted to.

Viserys calling Alicent ‘Aemma’ in a moment of exhaustion and the look of shock/anger on her face....

Rhaenys wanting to essentially disinherit Lucerys in favor of Baela makes sense when her and Corlys both know damn well the Strong boys are not Laenor’s biological sons, but Corlys is willing to overlook this for the sake of appearances (and does seem to genuinely love the boys as his grandsons).

Rhaenyra admitting to Daemon that she and Laenor did consummate their marriage and attempt to conceive on their own, but without success... the show has done Laenor so dirty that I’m not sure how I feel about the writers making him out to be sterile as well.

Daemon trying to play the ‘you were just a child’ card when he both groomed Rhaenyra and went on to marry Laena (who is even younger than her, here!) is a joke. 

The entire Daemon/Rhaenyra ‘romantic’ reunion is framed so clumsily. Is it grooming or not? Are we supposed to be rooting for them? They didn’t even mention Laena’s name once in their entire discussion after the funeral. Rhaenyra was a child who Daemon had the good sense to leave alone, but Laena was free for the taking? Do the writers understand how bad this looks?

The scene of Aemond approaching the sleeping Vhagar is genuinely cool and has a great sense of scale and how massive and dinosaur like the dragons are. It would have been cool to have a parallel scene between Laena and Aemond both claiming Vhagar years apart, but Laena’s was cut... like so many others.

Baela and Rhaena waking up Jace and Luke in a panic because ‘someone stole Vhagar!’ is a genuinely sweet cousins-adventure moment... which almost immediately goes horrifyingly bad. Aemond jumps from generic bullying to legitimately threatening to kill his nephews very quickly.

Alicent refusing to believe that Aemond could have started it and claiming Jace and Luke meant to kill him is one thing, but Rhaenyra jumps at the chance to ‘sharply question’ Aemond. Then just a few minutes later, Alicent wants to mutilate Lucerys in revenge for Aemond. So really, no one’s coming out looking great here.

Alicent completely losing her shit and trying to attack Lucerys herself felt a bit over the top, but the clash between her and Rhaenyra and her explosion of rage, finally confessing all the jealousy and bitterness she feels for Rhaenyra being able to ‘do as she pleases’ was almost worth it for the character moment.... but the entire thing felt very rushed and clumsily written.

Otto all of sudden approving Alicent’s fit of rebelliousness simply because it’s directed against Rhaenyra, and not him and his plans, is pretty typical.

The show continues to do Laenor dirty, portraying him as a self-pitying, neglectful father who is more interested in his own grief than his children and wife’s safety. Having him express how he ‘hates the gods for making him as he did’ was completely unnecessary and pretty homophobic coming from writers who espouse to be progressive and wanting to improve on so many things.

Daemon arranging to fake Laenor’s death so he can run away and abandon his family.... horrible writing. Rhaenyra pretending that this will logically make her renowned and feared as a leader because many will suspect she had Laenor killed.... horrible writing. Laenor being okay with an innocent man being killed so they can have a body.... horrible writing.

This episode has been the worst of Season 1 so far. I at least enjoyed the first half of Episode 6. Here... maybe 2 scenes I liked.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 44

What Is and What Should Never Be/The Impossible Planet

"What Is and What Should Never Be"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Considering we START with Sam and Dean? I'm gonna go with no, I just wouldn't survive doing their job

Not to get too into my own shit, but, honestly, that's the first thing I'd do, too...

These family photos are so poorly photo shopped but it's great

Is Carmen gonna get Jessica'd?? Was that Carmen he saw??

It's funny that Dean seems like the kind of guy who definitely mowed many a lawn (not a euphemism), but goddamn...no he hasn't (did a banger job though)

Oh...oh god, it's gonna suck to see this all fucking go away, for him to realize that he can't live here, to have to go back to reality.

Mmmmmmmmm...this. This...is EXCRUCIATING to have to watch. Just heartwrenching.

OH GODDDD. IT'S ALL THE PEOPLE HE AND SAM SAVED. THEY'RE ALL DEAD NOW. And he's being haunted by it.

This is like the first episode all over again. uggggghhhhhhh

OOOMMMGGG Sam got in the car with him...I'm sorry. This episode is nothing but feelings

Now you're getting it, Dean!!

So, to catch everyone up as I only screamed my feelings for forty minutes: Sam and Dean were hunting a djinn, Dean gets caught by it and entered a dream world where Mary never died. Dean's in a stable relationship, Sam and Jess are engaged, everything seems perfect til the cracks start showing (because of course they do). Sam and Dean aren't close, Dean's had some...problems (unspecified), and everyone (quite rightly) keeps looking at Dean like he's gone off the deep end because he has so little memory of this reality. And in the end, Dean has to choose to go back to REAL reality but he can only do that by trying to die within the dream......

"Been On My Mind...": I mean, it's at least implied that alternate universe Dean has slept with alternate universe Dean's girlfriend

"The Impossible Planet"

Omg, right off the bat, they're so cute. Ten and Rose LOVE getting into ALL the trouble together (which...good, they're gonna get all the trouble in this episode and the next)

I can't imagine how terrifying (but exciting) it must be for the Doctor to encounter something that predates the TIME lords

I forgot all the genuinely funny miscommunications between the Ood and our protagonists "We must feed. We must feed. We must feed." But they mean "we must feed our guests something yummy!!" The scariest rendition of Be Our Guest.

The thing about this one (two, really) is that usually it's the Doctor going "okay, but it's real" when people tell him whatever they're doing is impossible. Now, the Doctor is just repeating how impossible this is and the science officer's just "This lump of rock is suspended in perpetual geostationary orbit around that black hole without falling in. Discuss." It's....it's kinda hot.

Not saying that astronauts can't be hot (they are just by job title alone)...but just about everyone on this ship? station? is like...REALLY PRETTY. I'm just saying because there have been so many episodes with people who just look like people, not models.

UUUGGGGHHHHH the way Ten looks at Rose when she jokes that Toby is the station's Chief Dramatist. He knows it's not the right time to actually laugh because lore is being dropped but he wants to, he's really really proud of her.

Also the way the Doctor is so in love with humans because of our natural curiosity just like he has is heartwarming.

Why'd the guy the devil is trying to tempt have to be named Toby? There's little funnier than a disembodied, sinister voice whispering "Toby." You know what it's like? There's a bit that the McElroys did REALLY early on with the name Jeffrey...it's like that bit. Because this voice just keeps saying "Toby" before and/or after most sentences. Toby. Don't turn around, Toby. Toby, I'm right behind you. I'm reaching out, Toby.

Uh oh, you're fucked, now, TOBY

I love these moments when the crew is slowly realizing they're in a sort of horror movie. Sure they've been dealing with The Horrors, but not on THIS level.

I know I joked about this not being a particularly romantic set of episodes, but between the flirting at the beginning, the look the Doctor gave Rose, and talking about a future (which would apparently include a mortgage) together...it's not NOT romantic.

This poor acting captain.

For a being who's been all around time and space and who probably at one point met JRR Tolkien, the Doctor sure doesn't recognize what happens when you dig too deep. Do you want Balrogs? This is how you get Balrogs.

[ria-the-camel]

I cant fiture out how to do a read more on mobile apologies

Fucking stomach upside down, keep having to pause the ep like a little bitch lmao

Im kinda glad I can't watch the show live i would just conbist if i couldn't pause it every time my emotions get too intense lmao

Imogen making it about laudna struggles and being there for her... And then the first thing she says being about her mom.... Oh god oh fuck

(the damn dice failing, cos the darkness is still there. Old on a minute. IM FINE)

Im so glad she got to chill on bottom table and be all touchy feely with imogen for a bit tho. Got me cryin

Aw man delilah bitch ill miss ya so much

Ang god she's so awkward and unsteady i love her (oh fuck i just noticed marisha's make up running down her face aaaaaaa)

FEARNE NOOOO

goddamnit fearne i love u (amazing shout out to critrole stats they rule)

HELL YEAH PATÈ FAMILIAR MY BELOVED we got the boon i repeat we got the boon

I'll miss marisha playing him but i love him (matt playing him is so weird)

Sooo she still a warlock, im hapi! She's still creepy beloved laudna yeahh

God Travis' reactions are killers

Gunkey gunkey gunkey gunkey!!

Fearne my beloved you are killing me. Im glad mister got his gun.

Marisha is driving me insane, her acting this whole first half of the episode is heartwrenching

Chetney to fearne "have you ever opened a tree before?" I mean, imogen has now, but not in a way you'd find useful rn haha

Bye residuum you'll be missed

That better not be esteross matt you big fat meanie

Iiiiiis she no longer a sorcerer?? Why she giving imogen the necklace? Is it self sacrificing? That necklace is dope as fuck as a sorcerer (trust me i played one for a while lol) or she got too many mgical items attuned to her?

Ohh sun tree, how I've missed youuuu! this episode keeps on giving

No. Matt. No. Please cmon let us have at least... At least one good day. You can't just. No cmon. It almost feels like a price. In exchange for laudna they lose their rock. Their cookies baking rock. I can only hope he hid himself and protected angainst magic or something cos urgggg

So curious about what was up with Imogen's dream, cold, the storm dying down, the stars dying down, fcg being there. She finally managed to control it a lil bit

Aw laudna, the regression is coming through... She'd started to work on it but it makes sense she'd just... Go a little back after all that. Marisha's playing her so delicately

Aw fcg finding god is cute. I hope nothing traumatic happens there

:( the cane

🥺 this sucks esteross nuu safety blanket man.

Pfff the makingmyway being just mmmmm was hilarious okay.

Gosh this is making quite sad, having a solid point of reference in jursar was so reassuring, now they're alone again :c

Oh estereross you sweet old man. The letters :c The cookie recepie 😭

OH MY GOD the flying ship. Neat.

But also ouch

[spainkitty]

DAO has really helped me be more inspired to do creative stuff. I'm actually really disappointed by the idea that later games don't have the Origin stories! But since I'm here, I just really wanna brag about my girls.

Aleandria Cousland is my main storyline. I finished her story all the way through Witch Hunt (though I haven't done the GoA yet). She's a baby, just 19 when her world falls apart, and full of optimism and faith and love. She grew up with a silver spoon and she knows it, so she tries, with every choice and judgement she has to make, to pay that privilege forward. She is the epitome of Lawful Good, with just a little bit of veering off the path of annoying righteousness thanks to her grey-moralled biffies. She and Alistair fall in stupid goofy love, obviously, and he trains her to use Templar abilities (she becomes better at it than him🤣). In the end, she becomes Queen of Ferelden alongside her devoted King. She chooses to ally with the Architect, and, while she doesn't quite regret it, she is uneasy with her choice for the next decade. (Then, Witch Hunt made me sob because she spent all that time and effort just to find her friend, to tell her she trusts her and loves her, and Morrigan doesn't have to do this alone! But Morrigan leaves anyway and I fell down sobbing at Morrigan's last look over her shoulder. Spending the time to get up Morrigan's approval as high as possible in DAO was so so worth it for the scenes with Morrigan calling Aleandria her friend and sounding like she was about to cry)

Lanil Surana is my elf mage and she is also Babey. She's aroace spec and her story is unfinished. Thus far: She's been in the Circle so long she doesn't remember anything else, and honestly doesn't care. Why do people keep asking about her elf heritage?? It means nothing to her. She's a mage. She's not exactly smart, but she's bright and strong-willed and confident to the point of arrogance. She is talented at magic, very rarely struggles, and all she cares about is more magic. And (what leads her into trouble) wanting her friends to be happy. Jowan wants to be a farmer and get married and give up his magic? Gross, but okay. She'll help if it'll make him happy. Ofc he's not a blood mage, he wouldn't lie to HER. She knows her friend, there's no way he could hide something like that--oh. oh no. She's still unsure of how she feels about being a Warden; a part of her remains in the Circle, where she feels like she will always belong, even if it meant being made Tranquil for what she truly believes is her own mistake. Going out into the world, seeing something bigger than herself, will hopefully help her learn empathy and perspective. There is more to the world than the Circle, and not all apostates are evil or deserve punishment. Morrigan especially is a good influence on her. Going back to the Circle to save it was the most heartwrenching and terrifying experience of her life and she struggles between her trauma and her growth when it comes to blood magic and freedom. (Extra: everything with Cullen still lingers in the back of her mind. WtFUCK was that?? What was he... talking about? Did he love her or something? No way. Maybe?) In the future, maybe she'll even find a connection to a heritage she's never bothered to care about.

Danae Tabris is a city elf. And she's ANGRY. Her whole life has been about being made smaller, quieter, and scraping by for survival. She is pragmatic and cold to strangers (esp humans), but not unnecessarily cruel. When the Arl's son ruins her wedding day, a day she only half-begrudgingly accepted for her single father's sake, despite having zero interest in her would-be-husband (or any man), Danae's anger is unstoppable. Saving the young elf women around her, protecting them from the monsters masked in human skin, gives her, for a moment, power. True Power over her fate that leads to beheading the Arl's son while still dressed in her wedding finery. Being killed for it feels more like a reward than a punishment, there is true pride in her when she steps forward, it was worth it to save the other elves and end the life of even one oppressor. But then Duncan offers her a life in the Grey Wardens. While she can't truly trust him, she latches onto the idea of more power, the ability to be stronger, faster, and FREE. That freedom and power is all that matters to her, at first. Could Leliana be the one that shows her that she can forgive the world for letting her down? And that humans can, in the end, be good and true and... worth loving? She can not only save a few young elves, she can save the entire country and love wholeheartedly, unreservedly. She will be capable of wielding power, yes, but also capable of Greatness. (Though, she'll never be comfortable with the idea of being a "Hero" and definitely disappears so people will please forget her face.)

[mysteriousangels]

Solo Para (Ada/Felix/Della): Lovelace

Ada sat there shell-shocked. She felt as if her heart had stopped beating and there was nothing in her head. She stared at her pet lynx, body crushed by the trailer that they used to live in and suddenly a heartwrenching scream came from her lips. There was a stabbing pain in her head as the connection she had to Lovelace was gone. She wasn’t open about it but Ada had experimented on Lovelace in her spare time back when she was working in England. Of course, what she did to Lovelace she did to herself, and in the end, she created a telepathic link to the cat and it had also become far more intelligent than normal. 

She started to panic as she felt like a part of her was fading away and dying. This was the first time she had ever cared about a death. Ada had looked at the victims of genocide in the eye and felt nothing, even though they died because of her work and her ego. But here she was finally paying the price for her past by losing the thing she cared about the most outside of her work.

The air around her was foggy and slightly tinted blue from the toxins created by her. She didn’t mind if this was the way she would go out. She was okay with dying by her own poison because she no longer had the will to live right now. Ada closed her eyes and took in a breath when suddenly a hand grabbed her shoulder. She looked up and saw Felix Fitzherbert looking back at her with pity in his eyes.

“I know this is hard, I don’t know how you and your pet were but you can’t end your life here just because she’s gone. Plus if you die here, we’re gonna die because you’re the only one who can make the antidote and I have a little sister and my crush kinda hoping I won’t die. I don’t know about my twin 'cause I haven’t spoken to her in almost a year but that’s a can of worms we can open somewhere safe.” Felix told her and sat down beside her. He rubbed her back softly and looked around a bit worried about the air around them since they were breathing it in more and more.

“I’m not going. I can give you the instructions to make the antidote but this is where my story ends, it ends with Lovelace. Tell my parents I’m sorry, I was so focused on being better than The Jimmy Neutron and The Cindy Vortex I started playing God. I don’t regret the work I did or the millions I killed because why guilt trip myself? But I’m apologizing because of karma biting me in the ass.” She said as she started to reach out to her pet. Felix quickly grabbed her hand and turned her to face him.

“Fuck your shitty ass apology. You’re one of the worst people I have met after hearing you say that shit and I know quite a few in fact they’re my sister's friends because for some reason she decided to become besties with her bully. To each their own though, anyways I’m not letting you get out of this. Atone my living.” Felix pulled Ada to him and threw her over his shoulder. He stood up as Ada thrashed around. He was glad that both of them were weakened due to the poison because it wasn’t that hard to carry Ada while she was thrashing. But at the same time, he was weaker and that was a nuisance in this situation.

Ada thrashed around. He was glad that both of them were weakened due to the poison because it wasn’t that hard to carry Ada while she was thrashing. But at the same time, he was weaker and that was a nuisance in this situation.

Della had slipped in behind him and knocked Ada out by injecting her with a muscle relaxer and made sure that he was okay to carry her. “I’m sorry I was late and you had to deal with her alone for a bit. I had to make sure there was no one else around and that the toxins didn’t go that far. It seems like Morgiana was already here and dealt with that problem. She left a note, it had blood on it but she left it.” Della explained as she walked next to him. “You should go find your family as someone who has that power and freedom to do so.”

“And leave you to deal with your emotionally broken friend alone, what kind of guy would I be if I did that to you?” He asked joking around with her. She was right though, it was just that he was pretty stubborn and he had some idea of where Ruby was due to the tracker. He naturally assumed that she was with the Navy and was right since the tracker was moving, but he could be wrong. Along with that, he was also with her when things first went crazy so he wasn’t too worried. Then there was Diana, of course, he liked her, but he also assumed she wasn’t really worried about him and needed to fully sort out her feelings. Yes, they kissed but he wasn’t sure if she was okay with herself and her feelings on the inside. “They all need space right now and you two don’t have a lot of people to help you right now. From this past month, I learned that both of you decided to just run into death if no one watched you carefully. So here I am.”

“Here you are, Inessa was a better three musketeer than you though. She would just run into the fire with us.” Della smiled sadly.

“Been there done that.” He replied with a sigh. “We aren’t gonna die in like an hour right?”

“Nah I give it 48 to 72 hours with how much we breathed in.” She shrugged

[filmnoirsbian]

'her brother def killed her' PLEASE go on if you have the time bc i would LOVE to see you talk about this film

It's a wonderful little horror movie! If you haven't seen it but plan to, don't read this response!! This is a movie best watched blind and uninfluenced by outside opinion.

(🤚 Spoilers 🚩 Below ⬇️)

Regarding the brother specifically, I didn't initially find him suspicious until the series of video clips where we see him repeatedly filming Alice without her knowledge, which she clearly was uncomfortable with and upset about. I get that siblings squabble but it just struck me as odd that every interaction we see between the siblings shows one of them antagonizing the other--usually Matthew antagonizing Alice.

Matthew is the last one to see Alice. They're swimming together out in the lake, and then he decides to head back alone. He claims she wanted to stay out there. But then when he reaches the beach, he asks his parents "Where's Alice?" alerting them to the fact that she is missing. The dad mentions that the lake looked still, with no sign of her. If Alice could swim, isn't it unlikely that she would have just drowned in still water, without any external cause?

Then there's the dad's vision of Alice, in which she acts out the scene between her and Matthew, where she discovers him filming her and yells at him to get out of her room. Why would he see that moment specifically? What if Alice was trying to make him understand that Matthew was involved somehow?

Matthew's bruises were another oddity. At first I assumed it was just another symptom of the haunting, but Alice's ghost didn't otherwise seem capable of physicality. And the bruises developed very shortly after her death, before eventually healing. So I posit that Alice gave him those bruises during their struggle at the lake, when he drowned her.

Alice's corpse looks excessively damaged by the time it's found, though it's only been in the water a few hours (she was reported missing around 6pm, discovered sometime after 9pm). Obviously other things could have caused that, maybe she was fed on by fish, etc, but I think Matthew beating her/forcefully drowning her could have also caused the damage to her face especially.

Matthew manipulating footage to make it seem like Alice's ghost is haunting them is another thing which, divorced from all other context, wouldn't make me immediately suspicious of him. People grieve in different ways, and his reasoning that he wanted to give his mom some sort of comfort or closure would be good enough for me under other circumstances. But next to everything else, it's more disturbing, his manipulation of Alice's presence/image even after her death. And there's no understandable reason behind him donning her clothes and wandering around the site where she died. Again, people grieve in strange ways sometimes, but this behavior goes basically unaddressed.

Finally, the sex tape of Alice--a 16 year old--and her married adult neighbors the Tooheys. This one's a bit of a stretch I admit, but we already know Matthew has been video taping his sister without her knowledge or permission, and it's never really explained how Alice got the tape from the Tooheys if it was in fact taped by them. I don't remember any of them ever actually looking at the camera as though they knew it was there. What if it was actually Matthew's tape, and Alice found it? I think it'd be easier for her to get it from him, since they live together, and then tell the Tooheys about it.

If Matthew really did kill Alice, a lot of questions are answered, and Alice's story becomes even more tragic. In her dream, she feels drugged and scared and goes to her parents' bed, wanting to tell them. But she can't. She realizes they can't help her, so she just stands there crying. This could just be the heartwrenching experience of a girl who knows she is going to die and is struggling with that knowledge. But it could also be the experience of a child who is being abused by a family member and desperately wants to tell their parents, but can't.

In the end, we know that while the family moves on, assuming they've learned what Alice was trying to tell them, Alice's ghost is not at rest. She is stuck in that house, in the story of her pain, unseen when she was alive and unseen now in death. The images that capture Alice's ghost (excluding the lake mungo footage) are either taken by Matthew or feature him. The film is horrifying and depressing no matter what, but if this theory is correct, it means we, alongside Alice, have just watched her murderer get away with it.

[absurdthirst]

Request time, 'cause I've been sick and been such a good girl - IF you'll take it.

Reader, awfully in love with Marcus Pike so much it hurts but she never tells him because she knows he wants a family of his own and she is not able to have any for biological reasons. A bit of angsty-fluff-cute-heartwrenching get together?

***I loved the idea of this. I didn’t get into specific reasons to make it more inclusive. 

Second Date and Forever

Soft brown eyes seemingly look into your soul, his brows furrows slightly in confusion and the lips that you had dreamed about kissing so often pull down in a frown.

“I know you feel…..this between us.” Marcus said quietly, leaning his hip against the table and crossing his arms across his chest. “I’ve felt like we’ve danced around this for awhile. Is there a reason you are saying no?”

Your eyes drift down to the way that the fabric of his suit pulls tight around his shoulders, distracting you for the moment. God, he was so handsome.

The fact that what you wanted most of all had just happened upset you. Marcus Pike had just asked you out, wanting to know if you would go to dinner with him. You liked him, a lot. You respected him and thought the head of the Art Crimes for the FBI was extremely charming and handsome. He was everything you had always wanted.

“Marcus, I-”

“Just one date.” He offers, lifting his eyebrows and uncrossing his arms to hold out his hands and waves them slightly as if meaning no offense. “If you don’t want more than that, I won’t argue. No hard feelings. But we’ve been….I’m not crazy, right?”

You flush slightly and shake your head. For the past few months the two of you had been subtly getting closer. Bringing him a cup of coffee when you got yourself one, or having him drop one of those giant chocolate chip cookies by your desk since he had “happened” to swing by on his way in, even though you knew it was out of the way. No he wasn’t crazy, you had been flirting with him and you definitely wanted to date him. Hell, you wanted more and that was the problem. 

“Okay, dinner.” You can’t help but smile at the way that his face lights up with that boyish grin. Slow and easy as it rides across his face. He leans down and rapts his knuckles on the table. 

“Dinner!” He agrees excitedly, turning and rushing away from the conference room with a small spring in his step. Obviously running to make reservations somewhere for after work.

You just needed to figure out how to tell Marcus Pike that you were not the woman for him.

****

You hated that you were enjoying yourself so much. After running home and changing into something other than your normal work suits, you had met at the restaurant that Marcus had texted you. You had thought it sweet that he had offered to come pick you up, knowing it was that kind of gentleman. Even with the very next text assuring you that he understood if you felt more comfortable meeting him there.

Marcus was the last man on earth you would feel unease about being alone with. Not just because of your feelings for him, but because of how genuinely sweet he is. Marcus is the type of man to help a little old lady with her groceries or buying a kid an ice cream to replace the one that had split. He was just the type of man that made you think of forever and white picket fences.

You loved him, so much that it made your chest hurt. You had been drawn to him when he came to D.C. heartbroken, befriending him instead. Slowly realizing what an amazing man he was and giving him your heart. Making it speed up with joy and terror when he had started flirting with you, making you think that he was moving on.

Even though you love him, you couldn’t get into a relationship with him. Because he wants things like a white picket fence and kids and you couldn’t give it to him.

Your wine glass had been refilled at some point during your musings and cautiously Marcus reaches across the table to very gently take your hand.

“You are lost in your head over there.” He murmurs quietly, his attention focused on you in a way that makes your heart speed up. “Tell me what you are thinking.”

“Marcus.” You see his brow furrow for just a split second, the invisible walls go up in his warm eyes. Anticipating you telling him that you didn’t feel what he obviously did. He was a man who planned and wore his heart on his sleeve, even after it being batter a few times. “I really like you.”

His fingers tighten around yours quickly before loosening again. His shoulders straighten just a bit, subtly. “Yeah?” His half smirk makes you want to kiss him, even though you can’t.

A cry of a baby a few tables over catches his attention and you pull your hand away when you see the way that his eyes soften at the mother fussing over the child. Cooing and rocking them in her arms.

“I- I need to go.” You slide your chair back, ignoring the confused look on his face and quickly make your way through the tables and out the doors.

The bad thing about the restaurant that he had chosen was that it was close enough for you to walk. Initially something wonderful because you didn’t have to worry about parking or the dreadful D.C. traffic, it was now a curse because you were only a few blocks away when you heard a voice calling out after you.

“Wait!” You turn and see Marcus running down the sidewalk towards you. He had his coat in his arms and was slightly breathless when he caught up with me. “Just wait please, why did you just run out?”

“I can’t do this, Marcus.” You shake your head, looking around and trying to find the words you needed. “I’m not the girl for you. I can’t give you what you want.”

“What I want?” Marcus repeats your words, stepping closer and putting his hands on your shoulders lightly. Not enough that you felt boxed in but almost as if to ground himself in the moment. “What do I want?”

“2.5 kids, a house with a white picket fence and a dog in the back yard. Cat lazing in the window and a wife that can give you all of that.” You are halfway shouting in exasperation. “I can’t give you that. I can’t have kids.”

He was silent for a long moment, making you drag your eyes back to his. Knowing that you were going to see something you didn’t want to in them. Instead, you found him watching you. That quiet, intense stair that he had when he was working through a problem.

“See? I like you Marcus, I really do. But you want things I can’t give you.” You repeat more quietly this time, blinking back tears. You had accepted your reality a long time ago, but it hurt that it could cost you someone that you cared about.

“And?” Your lips part at his question but he just keeps talking. “I want kids, sure.” He drops his hands from your shoulders and shrugs. “But I’d also be happy without them.” At your doubtful look he nods. “I would be. I honestly didn’t know if Teresa wanted kids or not. It was her decision.”

“I saw how you were in there Marcus -” You protest.

“Yes, I want kids, but it doesn’t have to be naturally.” He clarifies, making you sigh and he shakes his head. “I’m serious, this doesn’t have to be the breaking point for whatever is between us. I can’t afford a white picket fence in D.C., not with what we make.” You snort in amustment at that and he gives you a grin. “I’m allergic to cats, but I wouldn’t mind the dog.”

He inches closer and cups your cheek. “I know that I’ve thought about what the future could look like between us, I plan.” He rolls his eyes when you nod at the understatement of the year, but his thumb caresses your cheek. “If we ever got to that point, and if having children was something you wanted, we could always look at other methods.”

“Marcus-”

“I’m adopted.”

Your mouth hangs open for a moment before it snaps shut, your cheeks growing hot at how embarrassed you were at your shock. He gives you a rueful smile and nods. “Yeah, I uh, I never talk about it because it doesn’t matter. My parents are the people who raised me.”

“Marcus, I didn’t know, I am so sorry.” He waves away your apology but you still feel bad. “I just, you seem like the type of man who wants to be in the delivery room and reading the books and talking to baby belly.”

He chuckles and nods. “And I would love that, if it were possible.” He admits. “But I also know that life doesn’t go the way we expect, and that’s okay.” He leans a little closer and gives you a lopsided smile. “I just want a chance to see where this goes. To see if we could make it to the future that would be best for us.”

You let out a ragged breath, stunned by how perfect this man was. You had partners walk away because of what you couldn’t give them before, but he hadn’t even hesitated.

“What do you say, sweetheart?” He asks quietly. “Will you let me take you on a second date and plan forever?”

You laugh at his question, even as you nod. “That sounds perfect.” You tell him, watching as his lips come closer to press against yours, his eyes asking permission. You meet him for the kiss and you were right, it was perfect.

MasterList

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[beevean]

The ARK, and consolidating Shadow’s corruption

What’s this? I still have Things to Say about ShTH levels nobody cares about? Yes, it’s not my fault this game has gallons of untapped potential :)

I planned to write only one last post, but since it turned out a little too long, I thought it was better to split in two parts. This one is a little shorter than the others, and it’s about Shadow’s trip to his old home with his dad. Fun, right?

The ARK is the darkest 5th stage in the map, and you can reach it in two ways: either Shadow detonated Black Doom’s giant bombs in Central City, destroying at least part of it, or Black Doom succesfully corrupted Shadow enough to let him experience a false memory in which he killed every G.U.N. soldier during the famous raid on the ARK.

Obviously, both of these events are nothing short of a Moral Event Horizon. Either Shadow is a full-fledged terrorist, or he succumbed to Black Doom’s violent brainwashing to the point that he can no longer trust his own thoughts. In any case, if you reach this point, it’s too late for him to redeem himself.

Look at him, he’s out for blood. Even Black Doom is happy that Shadow has “finally come to realize just how abominable these humans are”. And personally, I find the music that starts playing when the cutscene focuses on Shadow’s hatred-filled eyes a little unsettling, as if it’s saying “This is not Shadow anymore. Who is this monster?”.

Much like its mirror counterpart Lost Impact, The ARK has an unbalanced set of missions, only Neutral and Dark. It again emphasizes how Shadow can’t turn “good” anymore; but it also conveys how alone Shadow is now. He has rejected the help of many of his friends and, depending on the route, committed unspeakable crimes: his only ally in the world is the manipulative Black Doom, from which he cannot escape anymore.

There’s actually not much to talk about the level itself: for being the second-to-last stage in a path, it’s incredibly easy, as you literally fly your way through shooting at your targets with the Black Volt. Either you destroy 4 defense systems to allow the Black Arms to get to the Eclipse Cannon, or you… don’t. It’s a needed breather between what came before and what comes next, but it’s a shame that it’s so easygoing considering the heartwrenching context of Shadow violating his old home under Black Doom’s orders.

On that note, the music is worth talking about:

It’s a very catchy remix, the only contribution to the soundtrack from Tomoya Ohtani no less, of Sonic Adventure 2′s Final Rush.

What’s the significance? I think it’s pure irony. Final Rush is the last stage of the Hero Story in SA2, where Sonic has to make a mad dash to prevent the Eclipse Cannon from firing. In ShTH, you return to the same location (with a very similar level design if you bother getting off the Black Volt), but as a villain with plans to fire it again. If you played SA2 before, revisiting a beloved level in this situation just rubs salt into the wounds.

Anyway, much like Lost Impact, what’s really interesting is the endings both missions send you to.

You can suddenly tell Black Doom “nah i can’t be bothered with opening the way for you, cya” and fly to the Goal Ring in 2 minutes or so. Shadow’s musing at the end of the mission implies he’s simply filled with nostalgia for “where it all began”. The big man is strangely okay with this, even though he doesn’t get to use the Eclipse Cannon: he can still threaten humanity, and with reason. He also still trusts Shadow enough to ask him for help with G.U.N. raiding the Black Comet. (It makes me think he didn’t really need the Cannon, he was just being petty.)

Believe it or not, this is the path you have to take if you want to see Shadow becoming Black Doom’s servant: dispatch 50 of the G.U.N. mechs on the Comet, and Shadow will find his place to the right side of the alien lord.

It’s actually creepy how easily Shadow vows loyalty to Black Doom and forgets everything about finding his own identity, and I can’t help but wonder what kind of existence he’ll live with him.

(small comparison: in the Japanese version, he says “My name is Shadow the Hedgehog… The strongest soldier, chosen by the ruler of darkness, Black Doom! Together with him, using this wondrous power, I shall dye the ugly world in black!”. Not only Shadow sounds less servile, but there are several paths that lead to this ending named after the concept of “dyeing in black” and especially being a “soldier”. A clear case of lost in translation, but the English version isn’t bad, so I’ll let it pass)

(and before you ask, I hate the Semi Dark-Hero ending so I refuse to spend more time thinking about it than the writers did, which is “they didn’t”)

But let’s back up a bit. What if Shadow is a good obedient tool and destroys the 4 defense systems instead? In that case, after murdering the poor pilot of the Blue Falcon, he gets a front row seat to watching Central City crumble under the Eclipse cannon.

And then he goes to the last stronghold humanity has left, where he loses what little sanity he had left.

The second part of this post will be about my favorite stage in ShTH. See you then as I try to convey how horribly well-written the evil endings are :)

[bellshazes]

grian and/or martyn for the ask game -_o

Grian - Which game rules/mechanics would you like to keep, and which ones would you like to change/take away?

It really feels like they were testing out no chat notifications during 100hr since it's the same server and all and I think that would absolutely rule in some way. More lying, more misinformation, more stupid decisions based on incomplete info please and thank you <3 You could still see if someone'd died by tabbing but I love the potential to lie about cause of death and more.

I do think the no red friendships rule needs tweaking. If that's kept in some way, it needs to be balanced because the potential dynamics of red-green alliances and backdoor dealings are too good to ban entirely. Even if it's like... no public red-green alliances. But you can have secret ones! Or you get a government assigned partner and you're stuck with them. Randomly assigned teams isn't likely but I think that could be really fun too, since a lot of what I (& likely y'all) find compelling is the tension between self-preservation and the need to rely on someone else to survive, someone who now or later may use your alliance to ruin you. Putting random teams out into the universe as my s4 prediction, just for fun.

Martyn InTheLittleWood - Share a headcanon you have about the world of Last Life that somehow includes Season 3 (eg. something that’s relevant throughout all the seasons, something that ties previous seasons into season three, etc.)

I'm not sure I have any headcanons that would qualify, esp better than you yourself put it LOL. I love the recurring themes as well, but something I'm think about often is how Bdubs has played to two wildly different poles of playstyle, because at the center is the fact that he is unwavering loyal to exactly one person, his chosen partner, and fuck all else. He does this in 3L on both ends of the recklessness spectrum with Cleo, which is part of what's so good about the Crastle - they each take turns being reckless and a bit bloodthirsty, and then trying to keep the other one safe and sane. But she's the generally more bloodthirsty, so he builds a perfect tower with impenetrable defenses to keep them both as safe as he knows how, and it alone stands tall at the end, outliving them both.

With Etho, he knows Etho likes to take risks but calculated ones; he can't offer better skills and he had designed them a base that could never be burned down, not like Etho's woollen disaster in 3L, but bad luck meant they couldn't even get that. He doesn't have the relative skill to be a sword for Etho - or perhaps, not the patience, as he dies for the last time trying - so he leans into the recklessness because the one thing between them they have in spades is trust.

This, I think, is what makes "I trusted you because Bdubs trusted you" so sweet and heartwrenching. Cleo, whose arrival in the snow fort made Bdubs say finally, now it feels like home, quietly breaks a rule in solidarity with Etho to say, I remember last time. I know what it's like to have Bdubs' trust, and there's an air of weight to that. Tango calls Etho a survivalist when Bdubs insists Etho loves him, and when Etho's talking to Cleo after Bdubs dies, that's what they are. Lonely, but not quite alone.

So if there's a head canon in here, it's maybe that... Bdubs remembers. And his partners do, too, a little - I don't know how much detail or consciously, but people want to break the rules a little bit for him, the way he tugs at whatever threads need tugged. The slate might get cleaned, but Bdubs' partnerships are indelible, and by some strange grace or skill, he gets away with that. I can't wait to see what new fucked-up things he does out of loyalty in season 3.

[mrkis]

a twlg ask from 🦄 anon below the cut!! yet again, i had to put it into a separate post to not clog up the dash bc of how long it is!! my response is beneath!!

Im keeping track with the discussion in Discord and all I can say is I am still team Jaemin, and I am still giving him the benefit of the doubt. We have seen fractures of what he went through up to part 3 and during part 4 & 5 a lot of stuff happened between him and mc and to me their relationship took a different route then. Also mc didnt truly fall for him up until that moment before the party in pt 3 when he said "you got me" so they are basically in the same boat up until this point, things change for her after that and I think for him too. And i'd like to think that there is so much more beneath the surface when it comes to him and how he views his relationship with mc, and her as a person.

Like I said in my previous ask yeah at first he sees her as only a fuck buddy, but its normal considering they never really knew each other and had any sort of a bond. I cant blame him for wanting and asking for what they agreed upon in the first place, its also not his fault how mc reads his actions, she doesnt know whats inside his head neither does he know whats inside of hers. Communication is still a big issue for them, they tend to ignore what they want to really say to avoid "complications" or simply because they are more scared of being vulnarable with another person again and its easier to brush it off and pretend its nothing.

Im still salting about how in pt 5 he was waiting for her to talk about that important thing yet she did everything in her power to distract him and they ended up having sex, a soft one which was nice ofc and seeing how much of an effect her calling him "baby" during it had on him, I so desperately want to see his side of that. Or how easily she let him go without even considering if he wants to give Eunbin a second chance, which he clearly stated he didnt, he forgave her more for himself to have his own closure, not to give her the joy of being forgiven.

Idk, both of them have huge faults in how things got so complicate, one honest long talk is all they need to resolve atleast 99 of their issues, but both of them are cowards. I just hope that when pt6.2 comes out we will see more of how things are for him in regards to mc and how he understands it, cause sometimes its hard to understand what you feel or even accept it because of the anxiety that comes with your own reality after you embrace all those feelings and thoughts. Its scary, terrifying even. This is more personal but a few years ago I had fallen for my ex-bffs little brother and believe me when I say those were the toughest, most heartwrenching couple of months in my life. I was in such huge denial, I tried to see him as a little brother but one look from him, one simple touch on the arm had my head spinning, and during those month of internal struggle I was even hating myself (he had a gf btw). I didnt want to admit to anything infront of myself let alone anyone else, and the moment those bursted down I was a wreck. It took me months to get over him. So yeah, I can kinda get why Jaemin, and mc for that matter, struggle with their own reality of what they feel and why, cause sometimes it can feel like its wrong, like some unwritten rule was broken and the world is ending. It may not be at all wrong, we all feel what we feel and its not sth we can control. This got a bit misdirected but you get what I mean 😅

I am still team Jaemin, and until I see him genuinely being a complete and total arse toward mc, like making her feel small and unreasonable and just wrong for having feelings for him, then I will root for him. I try to put myself in his shoes and despite all his wrong doings, I can see why he would build such walls around himself and how scared he must be to let them fall.

Also, for the yy x mc endgame trope, I know he is nice and has feelings for her and all but i cant see them together. Just because they may work good because of the foundation they have for their friendship doesnt necessarily mean they would be a good couple. There are many layers to a relationship and sure they can be cute, but the amount of drama it would create within the group would be too much. Also, i feel like a part of mc will always be for Jaemin, considering the complicity of their relationship. It would also not be fair to Yang Yang to sorta be her second choice after Jaemin. If mc ends up with anyone who is not Jaemin then it should be an outside person, so she can truly move on.

[ mrkis response ] : i'm gonna section my responses in a bulleted list for you!! thank you for sending me this btw!!

its fun to hear you're giving jaemin the benefit of the doubt and that you're still team jaemin!! in six(pt1), we saw jaemins thought process from part one to part three which, i think, is different from his upcoming thought process from part four to five (and so on as i'll be continuing present day in jaemins pov after the flashback scenes are over. but they will go back to mc's pov in part seven!!) — and you're right abt mc!! she didn't fully realise she liked him into the party scene. there was always something lingering, which was the comfort between them both that she craved, but diving further into their fwb relationship and becoming exclusive, that definitely persuaded her. — there is definitely more beneath the surface when it comes to him and his relationship with mc. he does really care abt her a lot and, admittedly, she has become his best friend over this short period of time. bare in mind, in jaemins mind, it has always been jeno and jaemin. jeno has always been his number one (he still loves the other boys, haru and miwoo tho) and jeno still is his number one.. he just shares that spot with mc now. so mc does mean a lot to him!! :D

i like how you said its normal and you can't blame jaemin to see mc as a fuck buddy as that was their relationship, bc its true!! that's all it was!! and its for sure not either of their faults for not understanding whats going on inside each others heads (this is where the communication is needed for sure. its one of their biggest issues in this relationship even though they made it a rule)

with that scene in part five, that was definitely mc's fault for sure. things could've been avoided if she was open abt her growing feelings towards him but she's vulnerable!! and she's very scared!! them being vulnerable and scared also plays a huge part for sure.. it's a problem they need to work on :( —you will for sure see jaemins reaction to the first soft sex scene they've had. it was so.. intimate. something that jaemin hasn't really had in a long time. so i can't wait for you to see that!

they're definitely cowards and both at faults. like i've said before, all this trouble and pain could easily be avoided if they just talked :/ six(pt2), for me personally, is going to be an eye opener. hopefully ahhh. its where eunbin comes into play, its where jaemins head gets fucked and it shows where the people in his life truly stand.

for me, i love the yangyang and mc endgame conversations that have been going on!!! i think they would be good together, mainly bc of how much yangyang truly cares and thinks abt mc... but then again, i fully believe yangyang deserves someone better. he doesn't deserve to be a second choice :(

[your-angle-of-music]

So the MazM Phantom of the Opera mobile game sure takes some liberties

Here be spoilers. In summary: they are deeply iconic.

The Good

The de Chagny brothers have pink hair.

Little Jammes the ballerina is actually a canonical catgirl who unionizes the dancers and leads the first ever opera house strike.

She eventually grows up to be a women’s rights activist and early suffragette.

The Persian is the one who gave Erik his name. In general, their relationship is approached in a heartwarming, heartwrenching, interesting way.

The game (and Raoul) criticize Philippe more actively, calling out his obsession with maintaining a family image compatible with class and gender norms, his infantilizing treatment of Raoul which is bad as well as tender, and his relationship with Sorelli compared with Raoul’s relationship with Christine.

The Persian tells off Raoul for judging the Persian government, pointing out his role as a colonizer.

Interestingly enough, Christine’s relationship with her father wasn’t perfect either — he used to get drunk and depressed and borderline abusive, and it helps to explain why she might be particularly vulnerable to Erik’s manipulation.

There’s a mini-arc where Christine rescues Meg Giry from being trapped in Box 5 by the managers and drugged by Erik.

Meg leads a troop of opera workers to look for Christine after the final kidnapping by Erik, separately from Raoul and the Persian. They’re the ones who end up finding Raoul after he almost drowns and taking him back to the opera house.

There’s basically high-key Megstine vibes overall.

Holy SHIT the ending...it’s no longer about Christine (who has been trying to save everyone but herself all along) showing yet more compassion to the Phantom or thinking she can change him. Instead, Christine tells him that he can’t control her anymore and that he’s nothing without bullying other people and that she doesn’t think he’s a monster for his face, but for his actions. He begs her to love him, if he changes, and she says that even if he does change, she still won’t owe him her love. She leaves with Melek without kissing him or taking his ring (although she still does promise to bury him after he dies).

When Erik says his final goodbye to the Persian, he calls him his name (Hatim in this game) instead of Daroga for the first and last time and they forgive each other but only when the other is out of earshot and I never thought a mobile game could make me cry but here I am.

There are two possible endings for Christine: either she goes off with Raoul to the beach where they spent their childhood summer together and get to know each other again and Raoul has learned not to pressure her to marry him and they take their time to reconnect, or she goes off alone and travels the world and sings for herself and never marries and ends up visiting her mother’s grave in Sweden.

The Bad

Instead of Christine losing Erik’s ring when she kisses Raoul like in the book, Raoul makes her give it to him and he chucks it off the roof of the opera house even though she told him quite clearly that taking it off would put her in danger.

Erik as the Angel of Music is so obviously creepy, controlling, and just kinda...mean from the beginning that I don’t really buy Christine’s initial loyalty towards him, or that she would believe he was the Angel.

Like, he really does genuinely seem to hate Christine and isn’t weirdly nice to her during the two weeks after the first kidnapping like he is in the book. He doesn’t like it when she expresses any emotions, talks about herself, or reads books.

As awesome as MazM Meg is, she is aged up and much more serious and caring, so we do lose Leroux’s sassy feral preteen Meg whom I love so dearly.

Everyone is so, SO mean to the Persian, and both Raoul and Erik and even you in the future (it’s a bit hard to explain) assign him way too much of the blame for how Erik turned out because when he was spending time with him in Persia he focused on making his life slightly less miserable instead of taking it upon himself to teach him right and wrong??

And then yeah the Persian is directly responsible for the Shah trying to have him murdered because he made up a rumor about him intending to get him exiled so he could leave the toxic environment of the Persian court but then the Shah decided to have the Persian execute him instead. But he still did end up saving his life at immense personal risk. And even fragile Erik recognized that. Plus he protected Raoul and Christine just because he thought it was the right thing to do. Why does the narrative keep trying to uncritically frame the Persian as selfish when he’s very much not??

The Baffling

The managers are legitimately evil now and try to frame Christine for the murder of Joseph Buquet for...reasons.

So Christine wasn’t Erik’s first “love.” Oh no. You see, he has a blind Turkish woman named Melek locked up in his basement after she refused to marry him. She used to be his interpreter and servant, and she was nice enough to him, and he thought she might love him because she was blind, but because she knew about the torture devices he built for the sultan, she spurned his advances. So he has imprisoned her for ten years now. Throughout the game, Christine tries to help her escape.

I don’t think the game designers realized that Jammes and Sorelli are last names (Jammes’ first name is actually Cécile in the book), and so they renamed them Jammes Petit and Sorelli Dupont.

Yeah Erik really didn’t convincingly change and while what Christine said to him was really important to her arc, I’m not sure if it made him act too differently. For example, he never chose to save Raoul for her sake — he never found out that he survived the torture chamber flooding and told Christine that he died.

The game even makes a point of having Erik call Christine “the cruel devil” several times after she makes him set her free (quite the opposite of book Erik calling her an “angel” later). On one hand it’s really good for Christine but on the other hand his reasons for giving up the Phantom and the money seem less clear.

This is the character design for the detective/narrator: