#his level of confidence........... unreal

[rotpunks]

botanists may technically be biologists, but the gulf of difference between "guy who stays inside 24/7 under fluorescent lights testing whether rats react to the newest antidepressant with a sufficiently side effect laden response" and "guy who goes in the woods and counts the number of ericads and appreciates the beauty of nature" is so vast they may as well be two different species of creature

[transform4u]

My phone seems to be acting strange all day, and now, I found this weird file euroalphamuscle.mp3 while looking around. Got any idea what's going on here?

You pick up your phone and your eyes immediately gravitate towards the file labeled "euroalphamuscle.mp3." A thrill of excitement shoots through you as you press play. The moment you do, your screen comes alive with an array of images featuring impossibly attractive European men. They are all striking: sculpted physiques, effortlessly stylish clothes, and magnetic smiles that seem to radiate confidence. You see them lounging on sunlit Italian terraces, driving sleek sports cars through narrow, winding streets, and exuding a kind of charisma that seems almost unreal.

As you watch, your apps undergo a stunning transformation. Instagram adopts a chic Italian flair, with posts now featuring high-fashion outfits, picturesque views of Tuscan landscapes, and, of course, even more striking men in sophisticated settings. Twitter’s layout changes too, embracing an elegant, minimalist design with a touch of Italian flair—soft, refined fonts and beautiful images of Italian landmarks and style.

Almost instantly, your phone starts buzzing with a flurry of messages. They’re in Italian, and while you don’t understand every word, it’s clear they’re about some incredibly attractive guy who’s apparently way more appealing than you. The messages come from various women, all eagerly discussing this person with a level of admiration that is both flattering and bewildering. You’re usually into guys, but the attention—and the energy of these messages—stirs something unexpected within you.

As for your thoughts, they've shifted dramatically. Your gay identity seems distant now, replaced by an overwhelming desire for hot chicks with big boobs. The thought of having multiple women fighting over you is intoxicating, and it only fuels your newfound lust for power and control. It feels like you're on top of the world - unstoppable and irresistible to everyone around you.

As the messages continue to flood your phone, you find yourself lost in a haze of arousal and entitlement. The idea of having multiple women at your disposal is making you feel drunk with power, and it's impossible not to bask in the attention. Your mind begins to muddle as you think less clearly about everything but sex and power.

You feel a sense of ownership over these women who are fighting for your affection - they exist solely for your pleasure, after all. You begin to see yourself as invincible, unstoppable - someone who can have anything he wants simply by exerting his masculine charm. Your dick throbs harder than ever before as you imagine what it would be like to dominate each woman individually or all at once.

As you process this new persona, the beat of your music sets the tone perfectly. “Ciao Adios” by Anne-Marie pulses through your headphones. The upbeat tempo and catchy rhythm make you feel like you’re dancing through a vibrant Italian street party, perfectly syncing with your newfound European allure and making every moment feel exhilarating and alive. As the melody washes over you, it fuels your growing sense of entitlement even further; now nothing can stop you from having whatever (or whomever) you want.

As you look down at your body, it’s a stark contrast to the Euro ideal that now seems to be taking over your mind. What you see is a plain, unremarkable frame—soft and untoned, dressed in mundane, everyday clothes that barely hint at any form of personal style. You’re just a typical American nerd, the kind who blends into the background of a coffee shop or a library. The plainness of your reflection feels almost self-deprecating, a reminder of a life lived in the shadows of more glamorous fantasies.

But as the vibrant beats of "La Vie en Rose" remix pulse through your earbuds, a tingling sensation begins to ripple across your skin. You watch, almost in disbelief, as your body undergoes a dramatic transformation. The changes are slow at first, then accelerate as if spurred by the infectious rhythm of the music.

Your features begin to sharpen. Your face morphs into a chiseled masterpiece—angular, pronounced, with a jawline so defined it seems almost sculptural. Your chin juts out with a newfound assertiveness, and your cheekbones become stark, catching light in a way that makes you look like a glossy magazine cover star. The skin that once felt ordinary now takes on a refined, almost luminescent quality, accentuating the newly etched lines of your visage.

Your hair undergoes a transformation that’s just as striking. It morphs into a glossy, meticulously styled mane, either slicked back with a precision that suggests endless grooming or styled in dramatic spikes that would fit right in at a music video shoot. The color shifts through to a deep, sultry blacks.

The physical changes continue as your body becomes lean and impossibly toned. Abs and biceps emerge with a definition that speaks of countless hours spent in the gym. Your shoulders broaden, and your chest becomes sculpted into a perfect V-shape, emphasizing the dramatic flair of your new physique. Veins trace the contours of your arms, which are now a testament to muscular dedication. Your legs, while strong, are overshadowed by the upper body’s grandeur.

You’re now clad in tight, flashy outfits that scream confidence and extravagance. The snug-fitting shirt hugs your sculpted torso, adorned with eye-catching patterns or bold colors. Fabrics are slick and synthetic—polyester or Lycra—that make you shine both literally and figuratively. Your jeans or trousers are slim-fit, perhaps distressed or featuring edgy details like zippers or studs that highlight every movement.

The footwear is just as attention-grabbing: designer sneakers or flashy dress shoes with prominent logos or unique designs. Accessories complete the look—a parade of gold chains that jingle with every swagger, oversized watches that gleam in the light, and a collection of rings that sparkle with each gesture. Even your sunglasses have transformed into statement pieces, worn indoors with an air of effortless cool.

Your Instagram and Twitter feeds explode with activity. Text messages from various women begin to flood in, each one filled with passionate enthusiasm for a man who now resembles your transformed self. They’re written in Italian, but the tone is unmistakable: admiration, desire, and a hint of obsession. Comments on your Instagram photos add fuel to the fire, with phrases like “Absolutely stunning!” “Mon dieu, you’re perfection!” and “Is this a dream?” filling the threads.

As these messages and comments accumulate, the sense of validation is intoxicating. You’re no longer the plain, everyday person you were. Instead, you’ve become the epitome of Eurotrash Italian allure, a dazzling figure who commands attention and adoration.

As your phone continues to buzz and vibrate, the messages pouring in are relentless. Each notification that pops up on your screen feels like a shot of pure adrenaline, fueling your transformation into the quintessential Eurotrash alpha male. You start scrolling through these messages, and each one is an electrifying affirmation of the persona you’re becoming.

On Instagram and Twitter, your posts and tweets reflect your newfound confidence and extravagant lifestyle. You craft tweets with an air of nonchalant superiority, boasting about your latest designer acquisitions and the exclusive events you’re attending. Your messages are a masterclass in self-indulgent charm: “Just picked up the latest limited edition from Prada—limited edition, of course. Only the best for me. 😉” or “Another night, another exclusive club. Where else but Paris can you find such opulence? #LivingTheDream.”

The text messages you’re receiving are equally flattering. They come from sleazy women who are dazzled by your new look and lifestyle. They’re filled with phrases like “I saw your photos—unbelievable! Are you really as stunning as you seem?” and “Papi, I need to have the muscles showing me what to do” The attention is overwhelming and addictive. With each message, your confidence swells, and your responses become more brash and flamboyant. You start sending texts like, “Just got back from a VIP section at the trendiest club in Milan. The night was electric. Ever been to a place like that?” and “I’m at the top of the world, darling. Life’s a party and I’m the guest of honor.”

As the messages and responses continue to flow, your personality starts to shift. You find yourself embodying the very essence of Eurotrash alpha male charm. You exude a glossy veneer of supreme confidence and unrepentant arrogance. Your smirk is almost permanent, suggesting that you’re not just the center of your universe, but everyone else’s as well. Conversations with friends and followers become a display of name-dropping and boasting. You recount tales of jet-setting escapades and wild nights with a charisma that feels almost second nature.

The soundtrack to this transformation is a pulsating loop of Eurodance hits and club anthems. Tracks by David Guetta, Calvin Harris, and Avicii fill your ears, their beats driving your high-energy, flamboyant lifestyle. The bass drops become metaphors for your life—each beat a reminder that every moment is an opportunity for grand gestures and even grander statements. “Titanium” by David Guetta blares in your headphones, its thumping rhythm perfectly mirroring your new, frenetic pace of life.

Your party scene becomes a playground of excess. The clubs you frequent are the epitome of opulence—neon-lit sanctuaries where the velvet ropes and designer-clad patrons are all part of the spectacle. You revel in the fanfare that accompanies your entrances, commanding attention with your extravagant style and magnetic presence. Every night out is meticulously curated to maintain your image as the undisputed king of the Eurotrash scene.

When it comes to workouts, your routines are high-octane and showy, designed to showcase your physique rather than actually push your limits. In the gym, under the glow of neon lights, you lift heavy weights with exaggerated grunts, flaunting your muscles with every rep. Your personal trainer is as high-profile as your personal stylist, ensuring that your body remains Instagram-ready at all times.

In your downtime, you indulge in high-stakes hobbies like luxury car racing or poker games. Each pursuit is designed to elevate your social status while feeding your need for constant adrenaline. Your life is a curated display of effortless opulence and unshakable self-assuredness. Every aspect is tailored to reinforce the illusion of a high-flying, high-rolling lifestyle. You’ve become the epitome of Eurotrash allure, a figure whose presence is as polished and provocatively over-the-top as the persona you now fully embody.

You receive a text from one of the women, telling you that she wants to fuck your brains out. She sends a picture of herself, and as you look at it, your dick immediately hardens. This is exactly what you've been looking for - someone who's eager to please and submissive enough to fall at your feet.

You realize that this woman lives in America, which gives you an idea. You decide to take her on vacation with you in Italy, where she can experience firsthand the power and allure of being with a hot Italian stallion like yourself. You plan on treating her like shit - making her work out every day so she stays in shape for when it's time for sex (which will be often), ordering food without asking what she wants because "a real man knows what his woman needs," and making sure everyone knows that she belongs solely to Luca: the ultimate Eurotrash playboy who can have anyone he wants simply by flexing his muscles or smirking cockily.

[general-cyno]

I really like that zoro and luffy's relationship is weirdly simple while still being somewhat complex. equal yet not quite but actually yeah. it's just interesting bc they've got all these ways in which they match or complement each other right? the importance of their dreams and the will/determination they chase them with, the straw hat vs wado ichimonji, their scars, their views on certain things like death or heroism and literally echoing what the other does or says even when they're not together, the whole sun/moon, god/demon bit and other parallels to outstanding or legendary characters in OP, etc. their goddamn haki too.

then there's the fact that although luffy's not one to enforce strict roles within the crew, zoro very much views the straw hats with a certain level of hierarchy he includes himself in and deliberately places himself below luffy, who won't hesitate to give him orders in certain circumstances that he trusts zoro to follow as well. but the story (via some side/background characters) does make it a point to remark how strange it all is bc zoro is crazy strong and a leader of his own right to the point he's got the haki to match, who in the past refused to join an organization like baroque works unless he got to be the boss. he's even admitted he sees no point in staying a pirate if not part of luffy's crew, and he wouldn't remain in it to begin with if luffy didn't square up to be the kind of captain zoro's willing to devote himself to. just like how luffy wouldn't have invited zoro to join his crew if it turned out he wasn't a good guy.

and luffy. the way he relies on zoro turns my brain into confetti. the almost unreal sort of trust he places in zoro all the way since shells town, the sheer confidence in zoro's strength, steadfastness and protectiveness - the kind of confidence that allows luffy not to worry when the people he cares about or their allies are with zoro, and if someone from their crew is forced to leave bc of dangerous circumstances, zoro's one of the first he can count on to bring them back or watch over the rest in the meanwhile. all of which becomes extra meaningful when you find out about luffy's backstory, how much he hates being alone or when people leave. luffy's not the type to reject help from whoever's willing to offer it and he's been saved by plenty other characters along the way, but zoro's been consistently and explicitly worrying over his safety since the early days and protecting him for about as long, as much as he's able to, and luffy just... lets him. that willing, conscious kind of vulnerability coming from the guy who's the captain and usually the strongest around is so good. so compelling. the pirate king expects and needs no less than the world's greatest swordsman and he can have him, as long as the pirate king remains worthy of it. truly one of the most fascinating relationships in this manga for me.

[yoonvvs]

✧ ⠀.·:*¨¨*:·. BUT I PROMISE YOU THIS, ILL ALWAYS LOOK AFTER YOU

BLAISE & SKZ

BLAISE & BANG CHAN !

now playing > saturday nights ( khalid )

blaise & chan have such a sweet friendship. chan is so so so tolerant and patient with blaise, regardless of if she’s joking around with him, full of energy or full of anxiety. chan would 100% go to the moon and back for blaise - blaise knows whenever she gets in a sticky situation, she can run to chan and he will find a way to make the situation all better, after he scolds her for her poor decisions. she knows she can tell him anything - and he knows everything, more than anyone, even her parents - and even though it took awhile, chan knows he can tell blaise anything too, and he does. they care for each other so much.

she’s chan’s passenger princess, he’s the only member that refuses to let her be the driver when they go places together - not that chan thinks blaise is a bad driver, but he much rather not fear for his and hers life in the passenger seat when he can do it in the drivers seat. but blaise mastered being a passenger, she always has the ac on the right temp, great at giving directions and keeps the vibes good with the music! best and most chill duo!

BLAISE & MINHO !

now playing > hits different ( taylor swift )

blaise & minho are constantly on the same brain length - the amount of times they texted each other basically the same thing is unreal - causing stays to call them the “twins”. despite this, they are pretty much polar opposites, for example, to tease one another minho likes to “threaten”, while blaise likes to get overly affectionate and harass him, like “oh, you’re just mad because you think im pretty!” but they get along so well!!! always hanging out! fans also often call them tom & jerry because they are always teasing each other and have chaotic antics. there’s a literal compilation of blaise & minho chasing each other around for stupid reasons.

despite their chaos, minho is the one who gives blaise the most princess treatment. he’s always making sure she’s warm (although he might pretend to be annoyed, “blaise, stop shivering you’re making me dizzy! i’m going to make you run laps to keep you warm!” while taking his hoodie off and giving it to her), he lets her use him as a pillow if she gets sleepy, and always makes sure she has a blanket to cover up with on award shows. the glares he gives staff if she doesn’t have a blanket or is wearing uncomfortable clothes is so scary…he also loves to secretly buy her gifts and just leave it by her door, leaving no note. but blaise knows it’s from him and subtly shows her appreciation in small ways <3

BLAISE & CHANGBIN !

now playing > OMG ( new jeans )

vibes

blaise is a #1 changbin supporter, she looks up to him SO MUCH. she loves his confidence, his humor, and the amount of skill he has. she’s always trying to do his raps, and whenever she does it well SHES SO PROUD OF HERSELF! and so is changbin, he’s like “ i taught her well ☺️ ”. changbin loves that she looks up to him so much, it makes his heart so full knowing that he can be a good example for someone, esp his members! he is lovey dovey towards blaise, always giving her hugs and complimenting her, he’s always poking her cheeks and cheering her on!

changbin also likes to try to take her to the gym, and while blaise likes working out - she does not like to do changbin’s routine. she wants to match his energy…but she is not on his level ( yet ), so they pretty much just go to the gym together…then go their own ways. but besides that, they are such an adorable pairing to watch! their vlives are always so precious, and they are always laughing or giggling. stays love their vibes so much!

BLAISE & HYUNJIN !

now playing > i hope ur miserable until ur dead ( nessa barrett ) | yes, i’m changing ( tame impala )

blaise & hyunjin have a…complicated relationship. pre-debut, before anything happened, they were inseparable. they were always seen together, and they could always find excuses to spend together, pretending like they were “practicing”, while they were just hanging out. when they debuted, they quickly caught feelings for each other. they couldn’t help but fall in love through all of the chaos. fast forward a couple months later, they were dating in secert, eventually coming clean when seungmin caught them kissing…everything was going good - they were happy and in love, until hyunjin did the unforgivable and cheated on her.

for awhile, they could not stand each other, they couldn’t even breathe the same air without getting upset. they were angry, heartbroken, and petty for months. but eventually, hyunjin & blaise cooled down. hyunjin apologized, and promise he’d be better. it was genuine, he stopped being inconsiderate, and put himself in blaise’s shoes. after multiple, long, conversations, they started to heal their friendship. they aren’t back to being best friends, but they’re happy to call each other friends. now, they go on coffee trips, watch movies together, and can now have a peaceful and kind time together! they won’t ever get back to where they were again, but things are better now!

BLAISE & JISUNG !

now playing > the spins ( mac miller & empire of the sun )

the vibes only ok

BESTIES FROM DAY 1! jisung was blaise’s first friend from skz, they both joined the company around the same time, and were paired up together for their first evaluation (as well as other trainees), they showcased fly by got7! out of all the trainees they were paired with in the group, blaise & jisung got the closest. the other two trainees in the group were very rude to blaise, and jisung immediately stuck up for her, without even knowing her! after seeing his kindness, she knew immediately that they had to be friends :)

now, blaise & jisung are SO iconic, the comedic duo we all need! they always match each others craziness, and will never let one be alone in being weird. will constantly bicker like siblings, and are not scared to insult each other with no shame. minho posted a video of them wrestling each other on the beach on his insta, and later shared part two of jisung throwing blaise into the ocean like a menace 😁. blaise couldn’t let stays admire jisung’s strength for long, because she posted the video of her dragging jisung’s ass into the ocean on her own story later! utter chaos.

BLAISE & FELIX !

now playing > birds of a feather ( billie ellish )

blaise is protecting felix WITH HER LIFE! if felix is every getting a penalty and has to do something gross or just something felix is not excited to do, blaise is immediately getting up and doing it with him. she’s his literal “if you go down, we go down together” best friend. blaise also brings out felix’s impulsive side - whenever blaise & felix are together you know you’re going to have a good time.

felix also adores blaise SO MUCH. whenever blaise is off, felix immediately notices and silently tries to make her feel better, like getting her water or food, he’s the first to notice when she’s about to get hangry. that boy always makes sure she’s well fed, or else he knows they are all going to pay for it later 😀. he learned to braid hair for blaise! when they first became friends, he started practicing on her hair, and now he is so good at it! blaise always lets him do her hair whenever he wants to, she loves it so much!

BLAISE & SEUNGMIN !

now playing > best friend ( laufey )

blaise & seungmin are almost always giving each other a hard time, but it’s out of love everytime! somehow, they manage to compliment each other and insult each other all in one sentence, but they know it’s all jokes. stays love their pairing, because they are literally the yapper ( blaise ), and the listener ( seungmin ). blaise will be talking and telling stories, while seungmin is like “why is there a bug buzzing in here”, but he loves to listen to blaise even if he acts like he doesn’t.

they are literal siblings, felix & blaise are the expectation of siblings while seungmin & blaise are the reality. sometimes he just stands in her room and looks at her, giggling and running away when she finally gets annoyed. blaise always gets him back by pranking him in some way, her favorite thing to do is to knock on his door and then run away, finally revealing herself when seungmin gets frustrated. he falls for it everytime. despite their fun & games, they will always make sure they never go too far, and will check in on each other in their own ways, for example, blaise loves to bribe seungmin in running errands with her, when in reality she just wants to take him to lunch!! and she always wins in paying, but seungmin won’t give up until he gets to pay.

BLAISE & JEONGIN !

now playing > sit next to me ( foster the people )

jeongin is the human version of blaise’s impulsive thoughts. this man will encourage her to do anything, just so he can watch and laugh (and later make fun of her). she wants to spend all her money at the mall even though she’s trying to save? jeongin is giving her a long list of reasons to do it. that being said, jeongin and blaise have had countless of chaotic memories together. blaise wants to do something, and jeongin is like “let’s do it!” esp after he became legal and could drink ( blaise’s parents didn’t see this )

jeongin can always make her smile - whenever she’s having a hard time, she’s knocking on jeongin’s door, and sits on his floor - all jeongin needs is a look from her, and he’s turning on their playlist, grabbing a blanket, and sitting on the floor with her. and they will just talk, for hours, and whenever jeongin needs her, she will do the same exact thing. when things got really bad with blaise ( mental health ) jeongin was there to drag her out of the bed and pretty much forced her to live. jeongin & blaise are each other’s soul friends!

[katsu28]

Hi! For the flower ask could I request lily of the valley with Jamie x f!reader? I was thinking something like reader revealing to Jamie that they are pregnant? If you’re not feeling that I always love a seemingly sad prompt turned happy! I also loved this prompt list and could request 100 more if you want 😂😂♥️♥️

i had such a great time with this pls request as much as you want, i would be honored to write them <3

lily of the valley: a tear, followed by a sob, jamie tartt x reader, mentions of pregnancy ofc, 1.6k

You were trying so hard not to freak out right now. 

You’d been feeling like absolute shit the past week or so, but just chalked it up to having some bad takeout, or that you’d finally caught that pesky flu that’d been going around this time of year. It wasn’t until your period hadn’t come when it was supposed to that the idea you could possibly be pregnant dawned upon you, but when it finally did, you rushed to the nearest pharmacy to buy a boatload of pregnancy tests. 

Now you were here, sat on the closed toilet lid in your bathroom, waiting until the agonizingly long five minutes were up. 

It was hard not to jump to conclusions, but god, you really were doing your best. Having a baby would change every aspect of your lives. You didn't know if you were ready for that. But you also didn't know if you weren’t ready for it. You wouldn't know unless it actually happened but if you really were pregnant, there was no taking that back. Having a baby was a forever thing. With Jamie. 

Yeah, the whole not jumping to conclusions thing really wasn’t working out very well for you this far. 

Your phone timer went off before you could dig yourself into a deeper hole and you squeezed your eyes shut when you’d made your way to the counter where the blue and white test sat, looking seemingly innocent. It seemed strange how such a tiny stick would tell you whether or not your life and Jamie’s would change forever. 

Exhaling a long, calming breath, you peeked at it with one eye, then both. 

Three lines, clear as day. Positive.

You took two more in quick succession right after just to be sure—different brands too, just to make double sure. Two more positives. You were definitely pregnant. 

How were you going to tell Jamie? He was at the height of his football career, and even though you’d been together a long while, you hadn’t even really had that huge next step conversation about starting a family. Hell, you weren’t even sure if he wanted kids—not with what he’d been through with his own father. Of course, Jamie would never turn out like his dickhead dad, but you knew he’d be worried about it. 

On the other hand, starting a family with Jamie sounded amazing. You’d get to have a kid that was a perfect blend of him and yourself, someone to love and nurture and watch grow into their own person. They’d have the best parts of Jamie, the best parts of you, and every time you’d look at them you’d get to cherish this human being you’d created together. 

The sound of the front door closing in the distance pulled you from your spiraling thoughts and you quickly hid the tests in the cupboard, splashing some water on your face. You didn’t feel normal by a long shot, but planned to act like so until you could truly process the new information. It still felt unreal. 

Jamie was rummaging around in the fridge when you finally gathered the confidence to leave the bathroom, humming to himself until he heard you enter the kitchen. “Hey, d’you know if we have any more eggs, or are we out? I could run to the shops really quick if we need stuff.” 

“Um, we should still have a few, I think,” You mumbled, trying your best to keep your voice as level as you could. You must not have done as good of a job as you wanted, because he straightened up immediately, swinging the door shut to look at you. When he saw you standing there looking less than happy, he was across the room in an instant, holding you at arms’ length to scan you for any injuries or differences in your appearance, anything that could tell him why you looked like you’d seen a ghost. 

“Whoa. What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, inhaling a deep breath before trying to force a smile. “Nothing, I’m fine, I promise I’m fine.” 

“Don’t look fine to me.” He frowned, rubbing his hands down your arms. “Looks like you’ve got something on your mind. C’mon, lemme have it. Talk to me, love.” 

You weren’t sure if it was the way he knew you so well he could tell something was off with just one look, or if it was the pregnancy hormones already kicking in (did they even kick in this early??? You couldn’t have been more than a couple weeks pregnant at this point), but you couldn’t help it. 

A tear rolled down your cheek, and before you knew it you were sobbing, burying yourself against Jamie’s chest. He mumbled a soft ‘oh fuck’ but wrapped his arms around you despite his total confusion, pressing his nose into your hair and shuffling over to the sofa so he could hold you as tight as he could. He didn’t know what the fuck was going on, but he knew whatever it was, you’d deal with it together. 

“Sorry, I just—god, I’m sorry, you’re probably tired and I’m—I’m…I don’t know.” You sniffled, wiping under your eyes with the sleeve of your jumper. You pulled away from him with a shaky sigh, putting your head in your hands. 

Jamie shook his head profusely, scrambling to kneel down in front of you. “Fuck that, why’re you cryin’?” He asked, concerned etched into his features. He took hold of your elbows, gently prying your arms away from your face so he could see you properly. “Did that cranky old sod from a few houses over come over to yell at you about the garden again? I swear to fuckin’ god—” 

“I’m pregnant.” You blurted, deciding to just rip the bandaid off and get it over with. 

Jamie’s mouth snapped shut instantly. He blinked owlishly at you. “You—wait, wait. You’re…” 

“Pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant.” He repeated, wide eyes darting down to your midriff, then back up to your gaze. “Right now? How—how long?” 

“I don’t know. Four, five weeks, maybe? I just—I know it’s not something we planned for, and—and Richmond’s doing super well and you’ve got your whole career ahead of you and I get it if you don’t wanna be saddled with a kid—” Jamie took hold of your fidgeting hands, although his were quite shaky as well. He didn’t say anything for a while, but you suspected it was more for utter shock and a lack of words rather than disappointment like the fear you’d had in the back of your head this whole time. 

“Don’t even think like that. M’not going anywhere—wouldn’t even dream about it.” He said finally, looking you right in the eye. He looked determined. Steadfast. “Whatever I have to do, whatever we have to do, I’ll do it. We’ll do it. Everything’s gonna go just fine.” 

“How are you so calm right now?” You asked quietly, running a hand through his hair. 

Jamie leaned into your touch on instinct, turning his head to kiss your palm gently. “M’not calm. Feels like my heart’s about to burst out me chest, I’m so happy. But it don't really seem like I should be yellin’ and shit right now—not til you’ve wiped those tears from your eyes.” He replied, reaching out to swipe away the tear tracks from your cheeks on his own. “Can I—can I talk to them? The baby.” 

“Sure, love.” You smiled at him warmly and he nodded, suddenly looking a little nervous as he settled himself right next to your stomach. You were pretty sure the baby was only the size of a seed right now, but the thought of Jamie wanting to talk to them made your own heart swell. You suspected it would be something he’d do throughout your entire pregnancy. 

“Erm…hi, I guess. I’m your dad. I don’t—I don’t really know what to say to you because I don’t think you’ve quite got any ears yet, but…I want you to know that I promise to always be here for you and to love you no matter what,” He murmured, rubbing his fingers against your skin. He hesitated for a few beats, and you knew he was thinking about his own father. How he never wanted to become like James. How he would never want to put your child through what he went through.

How he wanted to break the cycle and create a better one—a life filled with love and joy, never fear and resentment. 

You felt another tear roll down your cheek, and another, and then you were sniffling back another round of sobs, making Jamie’s eyes fly to your face. “Oh shit, I made your mum cry again—fuck, I ain’t supposed to say shit, ain’t I? I’ll get better at this once you get here, yeah? But until then, have fun inside your mum. I know I did.” 

That earned him a shove to the side of the head, but he still grinned, dropping a kiss to your stomach before pushing himself back to sit cross-legged next to you. “Was that good? I think I smashed it.” 

You let out a watery chuckle, dabbing at your waterline with your sleeve again. “It was perfect.” 

“Can I yell ‘bout it now?” 

“Have a go.” 

“We’re havin’ a baby! We’re havin’ a fuckin’ baby!!!” He cheered, jumping onto the couch next to you. You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped your lips at his antics. He was happy and you’d never been so relieved to see him that way. 

Jamie pumped his fist into the air a few times before dropping to his knees and leaning in to kiss you, nearly missing your mouth in his now unleashed excitement. “I love you, darlin’. I love you with everythin’ I’ve got, and I love our kid just as much. Even if they are just a clump of cells right now. And everything that comes next, we’ll figure it out. The season, the training, all that shit, we’ll figure it out together.” 

“Together.” You echoed, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :) and if you've gotten this far, feel free to take a look at the prompt lists in my nav to request something!

[mazeofyeni]

✶ৎ RELATIONSHIPS ──── with straykids .ᐟ

⋆ ˚ ۪ ⋆ ˚ ۪ ⋆ 🥛 i lose my breath

MAZEOFYENI NAVIGATION a look into mayas' relationship with straykids — ❪ mayas' masterlist ❫ !

✶ৎ BANG CHAN ──── ( bangseo ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Bang Chan ( channie oppa 🩶 ) Maya ( Maya 🎶 ) . . . 

pretty much the reason why she's still an idol today , maya was almost let go by the company as they were unable to come to a decision about her; whether to debut her make her wait and debut as a soloist.

chan having worked with maya on a 3racha track saw potential in her and didn't want to let her talent either waste away or have her benched for how ever more year

so when jyp came to him about forming a group; she was the first person to come to mind, he went to her one day and the rest was history.

he's helped her a lot throughout the years, and he's always there for her when she needs it and is struggling. 

✶ৎ LEE KNOW ──── ( minya ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Lee Know ( angry cat ) Maya ( sooya !! ) . . .   

wasn't too keen on a girl joining the group, but the second he met maya all the discomfort went away.

something about the girl made him draw closer to her. the heartbreak she felt when he was eliminated was unreal.

thinks of her as one of his cats , calls her their sister and says he needs to take care of her like he takes care of his cats.

a popular ship because of how much he takes care of her on and off camera, people who've met them says that minho always has maya close by to make sure she doesn't get hurt.

✶ৎ CHANGBIN ──── ( 2seo ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Changbin ( binnie 💪🏻 ) Maya ( jisoo ) . . .   

sunshine and sunshine protector duo fr.

changbin has and will call out someone's weird behavior if he even senses that she is uncomfortable in any situation.

knows that she has a lot of stress of being the only girl and he tries to understand her when she's going through something and gives her the best advice that he could give.

an older brother figure, she probably has a better relationship with him than what she does with her own step-brother because she doesn't have any blood siblings.

✶ৎ HYUNJIN ──── ( hyunya ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Hyunjin ( hyune 🎨 ) Maya ( maya 🎀 ) . . .   

the most visually appealing ship you'd ever meet in your life.

lowkey didn't like each other during predebut days, he didn't understand why chan was so keen on her joining, he felt like adding a girl was unnecessary, and she didn't like the shade he was throwing so she kept away from him.

when they debuted, they were close, but not to the point where they rest were. they really connected during his hiatus.

they actually talked out their problems and they began to spend a lot of time together working through their issues, now they're bond has never been stronger.

✶ৎ JISUNG ──── ( jiya ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Jisung ( sung 🐿️ ) Maya ( soo 🐈 ) . . .   

the only one jisung didn't have beef with when they were trainees.

because she'd come right back with the comments she wouldn't let win a single argument.

now they argue, but it's mostly for fun, he makes a smart comment and she gives him a kiss on the cheek just to annoy her, it's her way of letting him know that she isn't upset with him.

besides that, they understand each other on a level that maybe none of the other members do.

✶ৎ FELIX ──── ( malix ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Felix ( bok 👾 ) Maya ( ma ✨ ) . . .   

people refer to them as the fae and the fairy duo.

as much as he wanted to get to know her, the poor baby didn't know how to communicate with her when they first met, due to his lack of confidence.

but it didn't stop her, she'd always come up to him and offer him food or to practice together during the survival show days.

she always spoke in english to make him more comfortable when he was still having trouble with it. her personal moodmaker, she claims when he hugs her, it makes her mood go up 1000x more.

✶ৎ SEUNGMIN ──── ( mamin ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Seungmin ( kim seungmin 🐾 ) Maya ( maya seo ... ) . . .   

a pain in her ass part 1, oh he knows how to get under skin, more than han does.

at first she thought he was making fun her her for real, so it made her upset, but then she realized the only way to beat him was to beat him at his own game.

so then it became this never ending thing, he annoys her and she annoys him.

but it's completely out of love, because then they also like to make fun of chan together .

✶ৎ JEONGIN ──── ( jeongya ) .ᐟ

🦢  ⁞ ً    CONTACT NAME = Jeongin ( Fox 🦊 ) Maya ( cat 🐈 ) . . .   

a pain in her ass part 2, except she'll put him in a head lock if needed.

these two show love by physical touch, and i mean throwing hands with each other.

regardless what they show on the camera, people who went to the same school they did said that they spent most of their time together and were extremely friendly around each other.

except the three times she put him in a headlock and he dragged her by the ear down the hall.

©️MAZEOFYENI

[othernaut]

"Why Are They Like That?" Scavengers Reign edition:

Chris, Barry, and Terrence show distinct reactions to having all lived through trauma. I recognize my own reactions so keenly through every one of them.

Barry distracts himself. The world is surface-level and wonderful because it's all so incredibly temporary. I read him as being in a practically permanent level of dissociation; I wouldn't be surprised if he's older than he reads. He refuses to think about loss because one little prick in the balloon sends all the rage and pain screeching out. I also read him as autistic, but his childishness seems to me more as an urge to live in a world where the loss isn't, same way you'd hide from a violent home by putting on headphones and playing a video game.

Chris rationalizes the loss, tries to pick it apart, find an explanation. She holds a deep, abiding belief in rituals, mantras, and philosophy, as keeping loss at an intellectual level means the pain is far less acute. Her confidence is an incredibly thick shell, but it's still a shell, and it's grown to the level where she's able to maintain unity in her group but probably won't be able to stand up to a challenge of leadership. That's when she falls apart - when she's proven wrong not by circumstances, but by an argument she can't refute. And she needs that proof to grow - otherwise, well, she gives off very strong cult leader vibes.

Terrence is people- and community-focused. His drive is to acknowledge pain and make sure no one feels the same things he did. This leads to personal recklessness as, well, we've seen. He wants to find a way for everybody to be happy and he will give all of himself that there is in order to make that happen. His weak sense of self won't stand up to a bad call or challenge the status quo, but it will slip in through back doors and cracked windows and offer comfort wherever he can, regardless of deservedness.

It's questionable how much of the Healer Woman was still in there. Likely the same muteness/deafness happened to her husband and his death, given her eventual state, was unnecessary. She likely had the same drives and opinions she did before infection, as the parasite doesn't seem to want to interfere too much in who its hosts are, just what they do to serve it.

Which is why Sam's mania and renewed vigor read as weird. We haven't seen very much of his past, but there's something curiously military in how he interacts with others - specifically, I think his focus on his friends and comrades as well as his decision to work his very dangerous Space Captain job comes from not being able to adjust to civilian life. He's thought about dying; he expects it. What's intolerable to him is the long, slow, banal details of getting groceries and making small talk. It's everyone else's normal life that he finds offputting and unreal.

Which is why it's so precarious, how much Ursula needs him. We know even less of her past than we do of Sam's; she seems more a part of the planet than she is her own life. She, and the Healer Woman (y'now, before) were the only ones who interacted with Vesta like scientists, and I read Ursula's gratitude as much as a need to connect as what it is on the surface. She's also the only cast member I get straight-up depression vibes from. It's an ironic thing, that she'd be best suited to survive Vesta on her own but, also, least likely to be able to stand the solitude.

Azi is the toughest member of the cast, no question, but we see her exceptional adaptation to solitude even on the Demeter. She cares for people - very deeply, in fact - and seems to need to be loved, but is comfortable keeping that love at a far remove, as a fact to be considered in solitude rather than something that needs to be constantly reinforced. This speaks to me as a curiously sci-fi thing - the notion that knowing people are out there, knowing they love you, but being unable to touch them, unable to confirm it. Which is why she was so comfortable seeing Levi as an object; if Levi was a person, then that came with all the complications a person usually does. And why it was so comforting to see her do the right thing once she realized Levi's sentience.

Levi...

I still hold out hope for mold-Levi.

Finally, Kamen. He's a dick, absolutely - but I read his dickishness as stemming more out of pretty much constant panic rather than anything else. You can read it in his movements, in how he speaks, in how even in his few moments of happiness he seems ready to back away and redirect at even the slightest hint of doing the wrong thing. He is in constant, complete terror of losing everything, so much so that his fumbling, destructive actions bring about the loss he's so desperate to avoid. His non-action over the last... Four episodes? Complete shutdown.

I know he doesn't "deserve" it, but I'm honestly hoping for a redemption for Kamen. These kinds of panic disorders rarely get any kind of media play, and when they do, they're either fixed by a pat on the shoulder and a "there there, don't be cry", or just continue on, unsolvable. I want to see what the other side of this looks like. I don't think he should die for his sins - I want him to live with them, to spend many long days in the same room with them. I want him to try to make things right and, when he can't because it's not like pushing a "fix things" button, to keep at it for the rest of his life. This, to me, is punishment.

[dewisnation]

Post uso thoughts since all my players are out

Welcome back big foe! His level was just unreal the whole tournament and I’m happy to see him back at his best top 10 level and playing with that confidence we’ve grown used to seeing. This was really just the beginning for him.

Coco Gauff has yet to reach her peak and she deserves the grace to evolve her game. She knows what she needs to work on and will come back stronger sooner rather than later.

Despite being knocked out in round 3, Ben Shelton played the best tennis he’s played all year. He’s really peaked since Cincy, and everything seems to be clicking for him. Even after the loss, he immediately knew where he had gone wrong, which shows growth—excited to see what the Asian swing brings for him.

Naomi Osaka is in a really good place mentally. Once her game clicks she’ll be a force on tour again cause she's playing with more mental clarity than she ever has. I’m hoping that she enters more smaller tournaments and stays open to playing qualis. She needs the match play and then everything else will follow.

Special shoutout to Chris Eubanks. His run in the tournament was short-lived but he showed that he's the future of US tennis commentary. He's so captivating and always brings out the best in players during interviews. Plus, his in-match analysis is second to no one right now. Whenever he's done playing tennis, I know broadcasters will be beating his door down cause dude is gifted.

[palmviolet]

Hello! I don’t know if this is strange, but do you have any tips for characterizing Rust? Your writing of him literally feels ripped out of the show in a way I’ve seen very few able to do, and I have trouble balancing his “time is a flat circle, we’re all trapped in Samsara” beliefs with his “normal” (for lack of a better word) pessimism and worldview and always feel like I end up leaning too hard one way or the other. You strike a perfect balance between these (and just generally on his characterization, like, not necessarily just with these issues but on his little quirks and references he’d have as touchstones and small details) in a way that really impresses me. Absolutely no problem if you’ve got nothing (and also you aren’t obliged to divulge your secrets at all!), but either way keep up the great work!!!!

oooh okay great question — thank you so much, i'm so thrilled you enjoy the way i write him <3

i mean let's preface this by saying that i've watched TD s1 maybe... 7 times now? currently on my umpteenth watch in the space of six months. and aside from that i've been marathoning mcconaughey movies so really i've got his voice pretty near to hand if i need it lol and a lot of writing accurate dialogue, i find, is just being able to hear the character saying it in your head.

that being said it's not just dialect inflections; as you say, it's philosophy. i read the conspiracy against the human race by ligotti, which is reportedly the book that rust's whole nihilist philosophy is based on. would absolutely recommend, if you can stomach it — it's basically just immersion in rust's fucked-up head for 300 pages. but the central point to remember here is that rust as a character is as human as anybody else, meaning there doesn't have to be internal consistency w/r/t how his beliefs and actions tesselate with each other. he's made of contradictions and he's deluding himself half the time, alongside everybody else. case in point: that he seems to believe what the doctors told him (that sophia died peacefully without pain) despite his general confidence in the world as a thresher of suffering and the people in it as self-serving, delusional puppets. he clings to what was likely a comforting fiction to support his assertion that to die is better than to live but also to protect himself, because the likely reality (that sophia died in pain and fear) is simply too traumatic for him to handle. and in that he's human — and the constant conflict within his character is between the human instincts towards self-preservation, hope, loneliness, fear, justice, and his belief that those instincts are just the trappings of biology and a fragile constructed system that holds no meaning beyond the circle of an unreal world — a belief that arises from an event so traumatic as to have rewritten those instincts.

so half of it is collecting references to go along with his nihilist philosophy — philosophers, poets, postmodern theorists — and half of it is remembering he's just a guy who has a bottle of hot sauce and a coffee maker and nothing else in his kitchen. in that he has to experience the world just like anybody else does, though he does it a little to the left — i do have fun experimenting with his synaesthesia when writing from his perspective — and he has specific touchstones from his experiences in alaska, in texas, just generally being a cop in the south in the 90s. he'll know a gun make better than he'll know a car; he'll compare a good thing to a drug, not a candy. he'll answer a question honestly but he'll do it with varying levels of sardonicism, depending who's asking. he'll ascribe pain to everyone's existence except his daughter's, though she lived in a cruel world like everyone else, because the only way he can protect her is through the optimism of revisionist memory. just. what a character man

sorry if i've rambled. it's just about getting into his headspace by reading the right things (eg all the AA stuff in infinite jest when i reread it this year very much helped) and remembering it's okay that he doesn't make much sense to you in your narrative, because he's not a character that makes sense — which is what makes him such a good character, because it makes him more real.

thanks for the ask!

[romiantic]

KISS ME BABY!

KISS ME BABY, first kiss with the atsv characters !

→ INCLUDING miles, gwen, hobie

→ READING: black!reader

→ GENRE + WARNINGS: fluff + partial ooc for like everyone

→ A/N: listen…I tried on miguel’s part, I really did. but I’ll just make it a separate post :( miguel content is coming, I PROMISE

Such a mess, confident as he is as spiderman, Miles was the embodiment of mess. the multiple nervous laugh, his clammy hands that he is constantly playing with, and the tugging at his shirt. You were curious as to what was the cause of his nervousness, was it you? Was it the small distance between you two? What is it? What’s with Miles? You would ask but instead you took a longing look at his facial features; his curly hair that bounces just as much as he does, his amber eyes that tend to shy away when eye contact is involved (or when he’s badly lying), his lean-ish body that comforts you with hugs, and his lips. The lips that were running a mile a minute, speaking absolute nonsense, but were quickly cut off with a kiss. A kiss that was swift but the both of you fell into, the feeling of bliss and your heart feeling fuzzy had grown, your arms trying to hold onto each other while the both of you were gaining balance. Even as you both pulled apart from the kiss, the fuzzy feeling still stayed and your smile grew so bright, and Miles still shy but stuck on cloud nine.

“Wow, that was umm wow! Can we umm…try that again? I wasn’t really ready the first time.”

Gwen, your typical high school spidergirl that stays in her own shell and doesn’t really talk much. If she does talk, a couple words here and there or a quick “yes” “no” or “hm?”. So usage of her lips was definitely not something used often, until she asked that question. What question was asked? “How do you kiss someone?” The question shocked you since you wouldn’t picture Gwen as the affectionate but you were up for the question. You asked where the question came from and she explained that she always wondered how a kiss felt, you looked at her puzzled, head tilted to the side and that look made her immediately shut down the idea. Her head pulled away and her eyes showed immediate regret, though it was awkward, you decided not to let that question go. You gently laid your hand on hers and slowly grabbed her fingers, intertwining them and softly kissed each finger. You could see a small stain of pink on her cheeks but she hid it away, she wouldn’t dare to show her nervousness in front of her partner. But it didn’t stop you from moving closer to her, inch by inch until your shoulders are brushing one another. Your girlfriend’s shyness made you more antsy to grab her face and kiss her right then and there, but rather taking it slow; holding her chin with your index finger and thumb, and subtly inching yourself closer to her lips, and lying your down your lips on hers, guiding her to “kiss”.

Such a high Hobie is experiencing, his eyes lit and his breath shaking after performing in one of the biggest arenas in London. To think your boyfriend would reach this level in your music career felt unreal but it was real, all too real. His band going from local concerts at fairgrounds to opening up for a rock legend has had the both of you in a frenzy the entire night. Of course, Hobie kept his “cool, calm, and collected” look on after the performance, he couldn’t show his excitement on stage, he’d rather share it with his favorite person. You’re all that man could think about, your positive energy, your feedback on his music, the times of comfort when he felt like his music career wasn’t going anywhere, the quiet times of you playing with his wics and humming one of his songs, you were always there. Nobody else stayed longer and fought harder for his career other than you. He couldn’t be any more anxious than sharing this dream turned reality with his partner, which could explain the tight hug he gave you after entering his dressing room. The hug lasted quite a while until he pulled you off and immediately smashed his lips on yours, you were quite shocked at the action but immediately kissed back. You hoped this feeling was endless and that kisses with Hobie would always feel like this; a euphoric sense and some lighthearted sort of chord playing on your heartstrings as his lips guided yours and his hands held yours. That kiss saying everything he was feeling and everything he’s going to tell you after.

⭑ I’m not doing this format again, this was so hardddd 😭 but I love how this piece came out, so imma stop complaining 🫶🏽

⭑ if it seem like I was being suggestive with gwen’s part, I really wasn’t 😭 or at least trying not to

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐃 💗: Proverbs 16:7 !

SPIDERMAN: ATSV MASTERLIST + MAIN MASTERLIST

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗂𝖺. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[mahi-wayy]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 | 𝑽𝑰𝑲𝑹𝑨𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑰𝑻𝒀𝑨

• General • Romantic [both. sfw and nsfw]

A/n : the fact that he looks so tired in the movie yet manages to look so gorgeous is unreal-

I - GENERAL

he is such a little shit sometimes.

loves instigating chaos.

a VERY dramatic bitch.

he is so chaotic it's hilarious.

messy room until it pokes his OCD and he cleans it up like a mad man before messing it again eventually. it's a cycle.

loves the cold weather because he can curl up in his blankets and be dead to world whenever he wants.

cried when he first discovered he won't have love in his life. he was 15.

for a month didn't talk to anyone.

comes across as confident and extrovertish but is actually a introvert.

likes reading.

read his own palm once and never looked at it for many reasons.

his father never liked him being a astrologer.

his mother was pretty neutral on the matter.

his childhood was lonely.

his teacher was more of a parent to him than his actual parents.

sleeps in most of the time.

coffee with milk and extra sugar.

has a sugar tooth.

loves chocolate.

has nightmares about his predictions sometimes.

carries the burden of knowing the future.

had a breakdown when he read about someone's death first time and failed in his attempt to stop it.

doesn't read much into that part of destiny until pressured.

has a habit of hmming a song under his breath.

can fall asleep easily. especially if he is warm.

doesn't tell anyone when he gets sick.

sleepy head.

has anxiety and some level of adhd.

II - ROMANTIC

SFW

will flirt first. won't make the serious move first.

buys expensive stuff.

trips as dates.

falling asleep together on the couch>>>>

sleeps with his face in his partner's neck and his leg and arm thrown over them.

whines to his partner about anything and everything.

would hesitate in reading their palm.

tries to cook for them but messes it up.

follows his partner around.

NSFW

a bratty sub.

he likes to fight for pissing off his partner or for the sake of it.

loves a slow torturous pace but a fast rough pace makes his eyes roll back.

screams and moans without a shame.

loves getting tied up. gag too.

breaks rules to get punished.

cries and begs during sex.

goes dumb and babbles so easily.

-----

tags : @mayakimayahai @warnermeadowsgirl @vijayasena @voidsteffy @jkdaddy01 @rambheem-is-real @allari-ammayi @mellaga-karagani @ulaganayagi

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil are MEAN GIRLS

- I am so proud of them for this somehow?? Like their game was so good that someone else wanted to adapt their game and soooo glad to know they get money for it.

- Dan saying Phils best feature is "his annoying personality" was said with SO much fondness.

- The first question about their 2009 meet literally scared me I won't lie, I was afraid of what level of honesty we were about to get.

- Phil admitting he was nervous meeting Dan, I WILL SOB DONT MIND ME

- "I'd go to poundland with Anthony Padilla" WE KNOW DAN STOP TELLING US

- Phil making gay jokes about Dan is so funny, considering Phil knew all the gay thoughts...

- "It's hard being this pretty" OKAY YES PHIL OWN IT YOU ARE HOT AND STUNNING AND I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE FEELING CONFIDENT

- Phil immediately looking at Dan after saying Cunt, he wanted that approval SO badly omfg

- The fact they argue over who should win on behalf of the OTHER ONE, whipped as fuck mate

- I want to argue that Phil didn't say his year with Dan was exhausting because of Dan, but because of all the stuff they went through together.

- My first thought for Phil's dumbest thing he said was: 26 + 5 = 29

- Phil talking about Dan having Daddy Issues WHAT YEAR ARE WE LIVING IN THIS FEELS UNREAL

- Dan wearing shorts >>>>>>>>

- Where are Dan's curly curls, his hair looks less curly in this video :((

- Phil owning his fat ass, GOOD FOR HIM

- I get so genuinely offended when Dan makes fun of Phil, like I want to protect them and anyone being mean to them makes me feel bad stop it.

- Dan reading the card and instead of looking at the card as well, Phil just fixates on Dan's face, okay.

THIS VIDEO WAS SO FUN. Phil is coming into himself so much with this latest revival I feel like, he is so much more sassy and confident. I truly adore this new era and I am endlessly sad tomorrow is the last video sob.

[elfqueen006]

Jellybelly Panic

Sunny Day Jack x Reader

Saya no Uta AU. The same elements anyway. First person POV. Graphic violence. Unreality. Emotional Manipulation. Lore here.

---

I stood petrified in the alleyway with Jack not far behind. He took a cautious stance, peeking around the corner, watching monster in case it reacted. Primarily, it was pink from the neck (?) up. But its body gradually faded into a dark ombre effect. The clumps spread throughout its body, giving it the appearance of a deformed overhaul of gum.

My heart thumped rapidly against my chest.

"Jack," I breathed, "What the hell is that thing?"

"It's a jellybelly." He replied. Without thinking, I laughed. His face was dead serious, though, and whatever trace of humor I had vanished. The name was ridiculous, sure. It didn't excuse the situation from being downright terrifying.

"Are they... are they dangerous?" I asked.

"Very." Jack said, "If you don't have enough love in your heart or are overcome by negativity, then you turn into one. They go around sucking up all the sad people they can find!"

That sounded like the description of a damn My Little Pony monster! But then again, since meeting Jack, your life has been all sunshine and rainbows, so it might as well be. But that still doesn't beg the question...

"What does it want?" I asked. Jack eyed me warily.

"It wants you."

My eyes nearly pop out of my skull, my heart begins to race again and I clutch my shirt. "What-whatever does it want with me?! I'm not sad I... I have you!"

Jack smiles sadly.

"That's sweet. But do you remember what happened in the yogurt shop?"

I blanch. A cold sweat starts to come on as I wring my hands. I can feel my mouth going dry, and I try desperately to wet my lips. I'm looking down at my shoes; they're neatly wiped and have been intricately washed - courtesy of Jack. I hadn't wanted them cleaned in the first place. They were really only for errands and work. It wasn't like I was going to the Oscar's or anything like that. But for my introduction into this new reality of mine, Jack had wanted me to look my best and carry myself like the most important person he was so confident I was.

God, he was really too good for me. And to think I so carelessly rejected him in the yogurt shop. What kind of a friend am I?

A firm hand clasped my shoulder then, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked at Jack, who was kneeling down to eye level with me.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"  I nodded slowly. "What's important right now is that we take action."

"'Take action?' What do you mean?"

"You can't let it get you, sunshine."

Instinctively, I backed away. "You mean to say I- no. No, Jack! I can't fight that thing, it's huge!"

"Yes, you can. You just have to-"

"Don't. Do not say I should believe in myself, because I don't! I'm not equipped nor qualified to take on that monster! I'm a coward! " I declared, unaware my rising tone was attracting the monster to the alley.

A brief glimpse of panic flashed in Jacks' eyes. He reached for me, then hesitated. He then sighed and his look turned grave.

"That's perfectly fine." He said.

"... really?"

"Of course. So long as you promise one thing: believe in me."

He continued when I didn't respond, "I would never put you in a situation you couldn't handle, nor would I allow you in harm's way..." he told me, "Sunshine, please. You can do this, I know you can."

"...Jack-"

A low growl and squelching sound approached the alleyway. I stepped out, finding myself face to face with the monster sooner than I would've liked. I yelped, causing the thing to roar at me.

"Jack, what-" I looked behind me by Jack was gone. And in a split second I dodged the monster as it lunged for me. I consistently side stepped the creature, never giving it an opening to capture me.

Eventually, I started to tire myself out. I knew this couldn't go on for long. The monster - this "jellybelly" - would soon catch on to my patterns and just go for it when I'm at my weakest.

I put my hand against the alley wall to catch my breath. The monster roared frustratedly. I scanned the area for anything to defend myself. A stick... a piece of trash...

In the moment I grabbed the candy cane. It was heavier than it looked, and sticky. The texture of its material was slightly weathered, the sugar particles scraping off at the edges. Something left out this long couldn't be sanitary. I'd have to wash my hands after handling it.

I spot the jellybelly moving toward me and give the cane a half hearted swing.

"Stay back you freak!"

The monster bellowed, rushing towards me. I gulp, feeling the weapon get heavier in my hands. It's like my arms are turning hollow. Still, whether it be natural instinct or dumb luck, when the jellybelly was within arms reach, I swung.

Pieces of the the monster's maw went flying off the moment my weapon made contact. It screeched in pain, the catharsis of what I'd done giving me a boost of adrenaline as I found myself stepping to it while it reeled back.

"Not so tough now, huh?" I bit out.

I raised my weapon upwards and came down on its back while it hunched. It cried out, but I didn't let that deter me. I repeatedly whacked at its squishy form until it crumbled to the ground. It twitched slightly but was no more than a mound of opaque jello.

Coming down from my high, I'd dropped the cane. I began to tremble, feeling the aftershock of what I'd just done. Sure it was a monster but was it really coming after me specifically?

It seemed to react like an animal sensing a threat. And if it were only acting on the offensive because I was... was I in the wrong?

"You did the right thing, sunshine." Jack said, coming up from behind the corner of the alley.

Immediately I ran up to him feeling hot tears well up and a tightness in my throat like I couldn't breathe. I heaved and sobbed into his chest. He cooed and rubbed the small of my back.

I sniffed, "Don-don't you ... e-ever just take off on me like that again!"

"I'm sorry. I know that was a lot to go through. But I had to step out so you could take initiative on your own." He told me.

"I don't care! Don't do that to me again!"

"I won't, sunshine. But I can't do that without you."

"...What do you mean?"

Jack takes me chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting my head up to where my gaze meets his.

"You have to be honest with yourself." Jack said. "I can't be here to protect you unless you want me near."

I grip his jacket, "I do. I swear I do, Jack." I bury my wet face into his shirt. "I need you... please don't leave me."

For a moment, nothing. And then I feel his gloved hands run up my back and hold me close. His breathing sounds rough, like he's trying to hold it steady.

"I'm so, so happy to hear you say that, sunshine."

He then pulls back and looks around. "We can't stay for long... let's go home."

---

"In other news, influencer Nicholas Herreras had been found in brutal condition, barely clinging to life in an alley on the corner of 5th street. The assault weapon - a rusty pipe - was left discarded, not too far behind. Police are investigating Herreras assaulter and their motivations."

Shaun grimaces at the disturbing report and turns off the television. To think he was just attacked like that with no prompting...

There's some real freaks out there.

He doesn't turn to see his roommate come in. Instead he opts to feed his cat to take his mind off the news.

Shaun calls their name, "Hey, be careful when coming home. A guy was just attacked not too long ago."

There's only a muttered reply as their door shuts. Though the air smells distinctly of metal.

[burningvelvet]

More thoughts about The Tenant of Wildfell Hall after finishing it…

1 good movie adaptation WHEN?

2 the themes of universalism and the idea that everyone can change if they want it bad enough and nothing is permanent and we have the ability to make choices and self-destruction has social repercussions bc it affects the ppl around you… yeah, my heart is full!

3 helen successfully microdosing her own child with poison to give him a pavlovian response to alcohol so he wouldn’t end up as an alcoholic like his father and grandfather because she intuitively knew he had a genetic predisposition to addiction despite having no modern knowledge of science or psychology. excellent.

4 the shit helen goes through in this novel is unreal. our girl is basically trapped in a frat-house — complete with the booze, drugs, laughter, fraternizing, sportsmanship, anti-intellectualism, infidelity, and rape culture.

5 as a sad aficionado of the romantic era & byronic studies i can 100% without a doubt say that not only is arthur based on some popular victorian conceptions of lord and lady byron and their marriage, but the brontës must have been familiar with biographical writing on byron’s life! i’ve found several academic texts to support this and it’s 100% true.

6 also, as a person who grew up with relatives who suffered from severe substance abuse and mental illness, i’m pretty confident in saying that the brontë sisters must have had some inside knowledge to spark their sustained interest in writing about these subjects. there are specific details and feelings pertaining to these topics which are documented with so much acuity it must have been personal to them. it seems a lot of academics theorize this as well — however, i still don’t know enough about the brontë family biography to form my own opinions on this topic yet!

7 helen is such a progressive mother (considering her circumstances and level of education, and the non-harmful drugging aside which is questionable today but within the narrative understandable) and her theories on education and parenthood are so advanced.

8 i think arthur’s friends (especially mr. hargrave and annabella) are as bad as he is, considering the fact that they enable him and they could easily use their influence to try and sway him considering but they choose not to — only partly because he’s the “leader of the pack,” but partly because they also have zero respect for helen and enjoy openly bullying and abusing her in her own household

9 big shoutout to the servants in this novel who are the real heroes. all throughout the novel (especially starting from Gilbert’s POV considering he and his family are a little poorer off than those of the Huntingdon circle) we see the lower-classes and smaller owners gradually triumphing against the upper-classes, gentry, and larger land owners. i love the line about rachel having to sell helen’s fine gowns for cheaper ones, and how helen notices that rachel still looks decent while dressed like a more common woman.

10 the very ending with everyone’s resolutions was a bit choppy and rushed but i don’t mind because everything went how i wanted it to go lol. but the ending for arthur/helen — the fact that he never repented, but helen still believes in universal salvation nonetheless, and still took care of him even though she didn’t have to, after everyone else abandoned him — the person he treated the worst still cared for him when no one else did — she fulfilled all her marital vows and he fulfilled none of his — his fear of death — her letter of december 5th, her holding his hand until the very end — his last words, “pray for me!” don’t leave me!” — all the unspoken words on her part, her feelings of helplessness, her telling him that she cannot save him, his crying and cursing the world — her fainting from exhaustion — him continuing to act like a brat on his death bed — her taking control, her cleverness with the contract — her lack of closure — aahhhh! just so heart wrenching and frustrating and angsty yet also cathartic and realistic.

[stellar-constellations]

"An angel!"

        

        Fem! Writer! (Y/N) x Lovesick! Kazuichi

        (Y/N) is the ultimate writer!

        Modern AU? No killing game!

        (Y/N) is from a different country!

        I am not a car expert so do not trust everything written in this story!

        The eerie silence that filled the room didn’t help ease my nerves at all. The classroom was loud and buzzing before the cinnamon-haired teacher stepped into the room and announced that there was going to be a new student. Then it all fell way too silent for my liking.

        The teacher popped her head out into the hallway and spoke, “come on in.”

        I swallowed up my nerves and slowly walked into the classroom. I couldn’t help but think back to the latest years that's lead me here: Sixth grade was a blur, seventh grade was about moving and worrying about the future, and eighth grade was worrying about change and how successful I’d be in life. Then the previous grades from 9-11th felt like a fever dream, like they weren’t real. I felt unseen, unheard, invisible. Despite always being surrounded by people always talking to me in those years, it still felt unreal  

        But that’s the past. Grade twelve can’t be all that bad after all, I’m an Ultimate. I should fit in with these people; I belong here. I thought. I had to transfer high schools to come here to the top school in Japan—Hope's Peak Academy. I already said bye to my friends, and I'm in close touch with them all since I have their numbers and I don't plan on easily disappearing.

        I stepped in and gave a quick scan of the room, seeing vibrant hues of white, yellow, brown, even pink and green.         

        Is that normal for a high school class? Oh, it could be hair dye? Hope's Peak must be laid-back on the dress code, I guess individual creativity is important here...

        “Everyone, meet (Y/N) (L/N). She’s the Ultimate Writer. Really interesting if I do say so myself, I mean, a foreign author living here in Japan and being able to interpret individual lifestyles so perfectly crafted all together and—ah, I'm fangirling huh?” the teacher gushed, placing her hands to her cheeks and swaying side to side.

        I felt heat set into my face as I averted my gaze to the ground. In a way, I was ashamed and embarrassed of my writing. I never thought I deserved the medals or certificates for my books—I wasn’t that good. But I must be good in others eyes if I was awarded the title "Super High School Level Ultimate Writer.”

        I heard a gasp and I felt panic set into me.

        Are they judging me? Am I not good enough? Am I gonna have to hide away this year? Oh god. All the possibilities that swarmed my head starting making me feel nauseous. Despite all the creative scenarios filling my head I didn’t except the response I was dreading of.

        “An angel!"

        ...What?

        Confusion and shock set into me before I processed the words. When I did process the words, I felt my face exploded into fire. Everyone shared a moment of silence, thinking of what to say before the silence was interrupted by…a child?

        “Huh? I was expecting something awesome like an Ultimate Fortune Teller or an Ultimate Superhero! Not this…this…” the girl stringed out words before trying to think of what to say. “STUPID DUMMY!” she shouted.

        “T-that’s all you had?” I stuttered, slightly impressed by the level of immaturity and confidence destroyed in just three words.

        Talk about anticlimactic… Out of all the insults in the book, she chose that?

        “W-what? Have a problem with it, dummy?” She blurted out.

        I couldn’t help but think who this girl was. I don’t remember seeing this girl on the Ultimates website.

        “...Who even are you?” I spoke in a monochrome voice.

        Another silence fell in the room before snickering could be heard.

        “Well, this is something.” A boy with a baby-face spoke.

        I looked at his face and remembered who it was, the Ultimate Yakuza! Kuzuryu Fuhiyko. He’s a dangerous man that’s the boss of his family’s mafia group. The Kuzuryu yakuza is not a group of people you should mess with, especially with the boss whose right in front of me! 

        “Shut up, baby face! I was just so shocked at how lame this girl was!” the child shouted.

        “I-If I may speak, I don’t think she’s bad...” A girl with long purple hair and chopped bangs budded in. "I mean, she's not... what's the word... rowdy? O-or troublesome, I suppose...? B-but what do I know? I-I'm just a big, stupid, idiot and I'm sorry!" 

        That’s Mikan, the Ultimate Nurse.

        "At least you know your place." The child huffed.

        With how she's talking about herself, I think she needs to see the Ultimate Therapist. Do we have one here? I thought to myself, mentally deadpanning as I kept a straight face.

        “An angel! You’re even more beautiful than Sonia!” the boy from earlier spoke up again.

        He has pink hair and a black beanie, pink eyes and sharp teeth. He walked closer to me with literal hearts in his eyes as he clasped his hands together. I couldn’t help but feel flustered and bashful at how much of an effect I have on him.

        “He didn’t say Ms. Sonia! Holy crap, he’s got it bad!” Fuhiyoko exclaimed.

        “…I don’t see much.” A sleepy girl said.

        That’s Chiaki, the Ultimate Gamer. She looks so tired and out of it, I couldn’t help but think of how that would look like me if I wasn’t so worried about school. Last night I didn’t get any sleep at all because I was worrying about school.

        “Guhguhguhguh-” The pink haired boy broke down, fizzing at the mouth before looking at Chiaki and pointing a finger at me. “This is (Y/N) (L/N)! She’s the Ultimate Writer! An amazing imagination! Decided to her work! Despite having many books being written, each work of hers is so mind-blowing and uniquely paced with meaning and foreshadowing in every word, no, space!" he shouted. "She published her first novel at just 12 years old, with it being a huge hit with movie adaptions and even more movies!” Pinkie shouted at Hiyoko.

        Kazuichi Souda, that was his name. He’s the Ultimate Mechanic, something I find fascinating. I’m a fan of cars, though I don't know too much, it's interesting to learn about. I learned a little, but being in front of a pro such as him, I could learn so much more! I felt honored and giddy to have him defending me like this.

        “I’m a huge fan of your books! Especially the one with the robots and cars!” he commented, gushing with red dusted on his face.

        H-he read that book?! That wasn't even a book! It was a tiny snippet in one of my short story books! That thing was 400 words maximum! How could he like that one out of all my works? I guess they weren't lying about how he's a huge car-geek! I thought to myself, but smiled politely.

        “You’re amazing, and you’re even prettier in person than on the TV! You’re so creative and intelligent and grounded and—“ he would've said more but he was cut off by a brunette male.

        “Okay, Kazuichi, I think we all understand. (Y/N) truly is remarkable, but class was supposed to start ten minutes ago.” A plain brunette said, Hajime Hinata.

        His Ultimate is unknown on the website but it’s fascinating to see such a plain and boring person in such an amazing school such as this. I even heard a rumor online that he's a Reserve Course Student, buying his way into the class.

        ”Thank you, Hajime. Now, let’s start today's lesson.” The teacher smiled.

        .

        .

        Time skip a few months later.

        “Damn it!” I exclaimed as my car started to slow down on the highway.

        I turned the wheel towards the right side of the highway and got off the road so I can get out of the traffic. I turned off my keys and stepped out of the vehicle, walking around the car to see if I had a flat tire; I doubted it but I wanted to double-checked. After finding nothing, I walked to the front of the car and popped open it’s hood. I was hit with a wave of grey smoke and I groaned in annoyance.

        Did my engine fail on me? Did a overdue spark-plug bust? Did pack-rats bite the wires? Did the battery die? Was I due for an oil change?

        I walked over and opened my door, hopping into the driver’s seat as I tried to start the engine.

        It won’t budge. So the engine did fail on me... the question is why? 

        I sighed as I pulled out my phone and dialed a car-pro. The phone picked up immediately. I didn’t even have to hear it ring twice.

        “Ms. (Y/N)! What a surprise to have you calling me!” 

        I playfully rolled my eyes, not like he could see before I spoke, “I told you to just call me (Y/N). But hey, Soda. I’m sorry to call you for this, but you’re the only one I can rely on.”  

        I could just see the shiny eyes and smile being blessed upon me as he heard those words.

        “ME?! ONLY ME?! YES, YES WHAT IS IT?!” he shouted excitedly, so excited I started feeling bad for asking him to do this for me.

        “I broke down on the side of the highway, the one near Kanji? Few miles down from that one gas station? I need your help. I think it’s something with the engine? If you can just bring me your car and jump-start I can jump-start the car at least until I get to an auto-shop or something. My car won't stop after it started to slow down on the highway.” I nervously chuckled, “Sorry. Not exactly the date you were expecting?” I then sighed. “Sorry for being such a pain in the ass.”

        ”Oh no! You’re not a pain at all. I’ll gladly do anything for you.” He chirped.        

        I know, that’s half of the reason why I called you. It'd also be nice to see him outside of school too.

        “Thank you, Soda. I’ll send you my location.” I hung up and sent him my location by text.

        I didn't even have to wait ten minutes in the car as he already sped down here.

        “Try-hard much?” I teased as I leaned on my car. 

        He flashed me a nervous smile, broadcasting his sharp, sharp teeth that I’ve grown to love. Just how fascinating is his genetics? Pink hair, pink eyes, and shark teeth? Those are such strong genetics. I was surprised that a human could naturally be birthed with those types of traits (the reader is unaware of why he actually looks like that, but we'll keep it a secret).

        “I didn’t want you waiting long.” He commented bashfully.

        “Well. I sure didn’t wait long at all. Thanks.” His eyes lit up as his face went red. “Pssh! You don’t gotta thank me… please thank me again.” He whispered the last part to himself. I smiled and decided I’d entertain him, after all, he did come out here for me.

        ”Thank you, Kazuichi.” I chirped.

        “AH HA HA! YOU SAID MY NAME! MY FIRST NAME!” he squealed out like a school girl.

        It was like the first time I gave him the nickname “Soda” since his last name was “Souda” and pronounced just like the word “soda”. I giggled as he took deep breaths and calmed, he stopped yelling but the blush on his face was still evident. 

        “Okay! Okay!” he said talking to himself, as if he was giving himself a pep-talk. “Can you show me your engine?” he requested.

        It wasn't like he couldn't just walk over and look at the engine since I popped the hood, but I decided to show him the way just in case.

        Kazuichi leaned over and stared at the engine, fumbling around with it. I felt nervous that he would get hurt before realizing he’s the car-expert and he knows more than me.

        ”Yep, definitely something wrong with the engine. I would tow it but I didn't bring my tow truck. You know how to jump-start a car?” Kazuichi questioned.

        I shot him a playfully glare before responding. “Of course I do! What do you take me for?” I asked.

        It's something every car owner should at least know for their own safety.

        “W-wait no! I didn’t mean to offend you! I was just curious and—“ I cut him off by placing my finger on his mouth, effectively hushing him up as his face exploded red.

        “I was kidding, Kazy. Now hand me those spark-plugs you got.” I smiled.

        He nodded quickly and ran to his car, almost throwing the sparks at me in a hurry to run off and scream. I smiled as I walked over to his car and popped open his hood. 

        I took the red spark plugs and hooked one red clamp to the positive terminal before walking over to my car's engine and doing the same thing. I walked back over to Kazuichi’s car and clamped the black clamp on the negative terminal. I then walked to my car (overhearing Kazuichi mumbling to himself about me being smart and how good I’m doing, which gave me a massive ego boost) and I clamped the black clamp to the frame of my car, not the other negative terminal, since it could potentially cause a spark.

        “Kazuichi, can you give me your keys?” I asked to which he quickly responded and ran over to me.

        “Here, angel!” he gushed.

        I smiled and grabbed his keys, opening his car door and plugging in the car keys into the engine. I started his car and waited for my car to charge up. Kazuichi leaned on the cars door, staring down at me. It was like where the love interest places there hand over the protagonist in the high school movies, caging them in. I felt my heart race as my face started to flush red and I adverted my gaze.

        “Now look whose getting flustered.” He teased

        Not my fault when you show up in your mechanic pants and white tank top, then start flexing your muscles at me. I thought.

        “I’ll admit, the views nice.” I teased back.

        Kazuichi smiled like a love-sick idiot and I felt my face heat up again.

        “Thank you Ms—“

        “Don’t finish that. Just call me, (Y/N), remember? You make me sound old.” I chuckled.

        “Would you prefer Mrs. Souda?” he exclaimed, a sparkling shine in his eyes.

        I rolled my eyes and smiled. It makes me sound even older, but I'll play along.

        “Doesn’t sound bad. Has a nice ring to it.” I smiled.

        His smile grew and before he could try and get down on one knee and propose, I gently pushed him away from the door so I could get out of the car.

        He looked at me confused as I shrugged it off and walked to my own vehicle. I started the engine and smiled once I heard the motor power on.

        “Great! It works! Thanks, Kazu!” I commented turning around at his dazed and bashful face.

        “I thought we were having a moment!” he whined.

        I rolled my eyes and smiled. His little tantrum quickly drying up as he inflated up again and spoke.

        “I can fix up your engine at my shop. It’s not far from here, that’s how I got here so fast.” He pointed out.

        I nodded and walked towards him.

        “A-and after, we can get food or something? But only if you wanna! Consent is important! My mother taught me that and—“

         I shut him up with a peck on the lips, quickly pulling back before he could even have the chance to kiss back.

        ”Sounds great. I’ll tail behind you. Lead the way, Kazu.” I teased with a wink as he erupted in a scream before quickly running to his car yelling out an “(Y/N) KISSED ME!” 

        I chuckled and hopped into my car.

        Soda’s such a cutie, but he's my cutie.

        Have any requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist

[darsynia]

Just Right | Ch 3

(Steve Rogers x F!Reader, post-Ultron Multichapter)

Summary:

You’ve been in love with Steve Rogers for at least a year, but he treats you the same way he treats every other member of the team– with respect, but nothing more. It takes an inter-dimensional mistake and a whole second, more assertive, actually interested Steve for you to realize that you don’t want just any version of Steve Rogers– you want the one you’ve been pining for all this time.

Length: 3,119

FIC MASTERLIST | LAST CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

Dedicated to @ronearoundblindly who is the bestest! This story will be I THINK about 5 chapters, but don't pelt me with chickens if I'm wrong please!

Excerpt:

“What if it were you, Tony? Would you accept staying home and ‘out of the way’ if you could help? Or would you be threatening to fly there yourself?”

It’s Steve’s voice, but the context tells you it’s Gold Steve.

“You want to waste all the time I’ve been spending inventing a dimensional portal? Your me already has one! I’m not interested in being invaded by a pissier other self who’s raring to kick my ass for losing you.”

“If it’s not safe for me, it’s not safe for him,” Gold Steve points out.

An almost identical voice responds directly afterward. “It’s plenty safe.” There’s more talk, but you need to pay attention to your own intense little meeting, so you refocus on that.

“Hey, Brigandine, you wanna c’mere for a sec?” Stark calls out, right as you’re following the others out the door.

“Go on, plan for an extra person,” you whisper to Aeronautics, and turn around. Multiple Avengers are looking at you expectantly. “No, no, and no,” you groan, taking in Stark’s stubborn expression. “You’re making me the tiebreaker, aren’t you? No.”

“It’s in your contract,” he says with the supreme confidence of a person who knows there’s no time to check his facts.

Chapter Three

You’re trying to figure out how to dodge Gold Steve’s question and reconcile your mix-up of the two Steves when an alarm goes off.

The alarm.

It’s a call to assemble, telling everyone in earshot something’s happened that some or all of the Avengers can help with. That it’s happening at all is a compromise with Secretary Ross, the culmination of a month-long excruciating negotiation that allowed Steve and Natasha to stay out of jail, that lets Clint be a part-time Avenger and not have to choose between his family and heroism (though if he knew you were even thinking of it that way, he’d punch you in the shoulder. Hard), and loosely soothed the gaping wounds between the team, for the greater good.

Basically, the Avengers have an uneasy truce with the governments of the world, and you’re grateful for it-- but this is the first time that alarm has gone off since that agreement, the Modified, Extended Sokovian Settlement, as Tony calls it. The MESS.

You whip the towel off of your head and see that Gold Steve’s alert and concerned. Everyone else at the compound will know what to do, you’ve all trained for it. Everyone but Gold Steve.

Swearing under your breath, you grab his arm and head to the door, scanning your badge to open it.

“There’s not a silence protocol that goes along with that, is there?” he whispers as he follows you through multiple corridors to a second door.

“Nope.” You reach the building with the gathering point, and the two of you wait in the line to go inside.

“Technically, we could get in faster if I picked you up and speedran to the back door,” Gold Steve muses. Out loud. Where other people around you hear it and turn to look at the two of you.

“Funny,” you say tersely, hoping the turbulent terror in your stomach isn’t outwardly visible.

The MESS protocol designates each employee a level, and your meeting point depends on that level. Your level happens to be the highest there is, with the actual team, so you’re prepared for the feeling of unreality when you walk in there and see all the Avengers who are currently on-campus arrayed around the table. What you didn’t expect is for you and Gold Steve to be the last through the door, meaning all eyes are on the two of you as he pulls out a chair for you and finds a seat of his own. 

As one of the high-level support team, you and a few others need to be present for the decision making, which made sense to you when reading the documents but now that you’re in the room, is both cool and intimidating. You’ve gotten to know most of the Avengers on a personal, friendly level, but individually, as they’ve met with you about their gear, but this? This is different. This is serious. You feel incredibly out of place.

You fix your gaze to the table as you hear some of the others in the room greeting Gold Steve before Maria Hill starts the breakdown of what’s happened.

It’s bad. In a combination of a radioactive event and possible HYDRA activity, local authorities in Romania have detected high levels of Cesium-137 in an abandoned factory that’s been doubling as a junkyard for years. They’ve contacted the Nuclear Regulatory Commission for assistance, who are already on site. The underground complex they found on the site wired for electricity has set off alarm bells, and, well. Why overspend your containment budget when there’s a group of people who can take those risks for you? A group that desperately needs a win?

You’ve been sneaking glances at Gold Steve, feeling conflicted and guilty. There’s no way he would have wanted to be left out, but if this exists in your universe, does that mean your meeting reveals its existence to him prematurely? Assuming, of course, that he gets to go back.

“First, let me address the elephant in the room,” Stark is saying, gesturing towards Gold Steve. “I can see you making manfully conflicted expressions over there, but I don’t think anyone here doubts you would have made your way into this meeting as soon as you found out about it.” There’s some murmuring and many nods. “Frankly, I can’t bring myself to feel guilty if the first thing you do when I send you back home is show up at this place and mete out some justice.”

You look around the room, trying to get a sense of the general consensus. In the process, you catch the eye of your Steve, who was already looking at you. You offer him a smile, and he returns it, shifting his gaze away quickly.

After twenty minutes of debate, the group decides to send a team. Though Clint’s recon skills would be an asset on this one, he’s back in Missouri and this is time-sensitive, so they settle on Tony, Natasha, Sam, and Steve. Support staff is to immediately report to workstations to prep all equipment needed, so as soon as Hill calls an end to the meeting, you get up and head over to your colleagues. 

As the group of you confer for a few seconds about your own timeline (everything needs to be ready before the firm head-out), you can hear an intense conversation happening back at the table.

“What if it were you, Tony? Would you accept staying home and ‘out of the way’ if you could help? Or would you be threatening to fly there yourself?”

It’s Steve’s voice, but the context tells you it’s Gold Steve.

“You want to waste all the time I’ve been spending inventing a dimensional portal? Your me already has one! I’m not interested in being invaded by a pissier other self who’s raring to kick my ass for losing you.”

“If it’s not safe for me, it’s not safe for him,” Gold Steve points out.

An almost identical voice responds directly afterward. “It’s plenty safe.” There’s more talk, but you need to pay attention to your own intense little meeting, so you refocus on that.

“Hey, Brigandine, you wanna c’mere for a sec?” Stark calls out, right as you’re following the others out the door.

“Go on, plan for an extra person,” you whisper to Aeronautics, and turn around. Multiple Avengers are looking at you expectantly. “No, no, and no,” you groan, taking in Stark’s stubborn expression. “You’re making me the tiebreaker, aren’t you? No.”

“It’s in your contract,” he says with the supreme confidence of a person who knows there’s no time to check his facts.

You glare at him. “Okay, but don’t tell me who’s on what side. Steve?”

Gold Steve smiles and looks away, obviously knowing you aren’t referring to him. Your Steve looks at him, then at you, before he says, “Yes?”

“Do you think he should go?” It would just waste precious time to make them tell you the stuff you already overheard.

“Why are you asking him? I’m your boss!”

You’re so determined to explain yourself you forget everything else. “Because Steve’s the one with the most at stake, here, Stark. It’s Steve who’s focused on the team as a whole, Steve who always has everyone’s locations in mind, Steve who’s constantly running calculations in his head about whether what you’re about to do might put someone in danger!” You point somewhere behind you, picturing the other universe out there that’s missing their version of Steve Rogers. “And it’ll be Steve who feels the worst about it if he doesn’t bring himself back home, because every single person back there who is missing him feels guilty that they can’t just set off an assemble alarm to go get him back!”

Stark says a sullen, “Yeah, okay,” but the rest of the room is dead silent. Your throat hurts, which means you were yelling, and there’s zero fucking chance you’re going to look up at anyone to see if they’re showing expressions of dawning comprehension, because that? That was pretty damned revealing, right there.

“I need to go set up an extra set of gear,” you say in an admirably calm voice as you turn on your heel and walk swiftly toward the door. Once through, you rush.

Because you’ve done your job right, no one has to come pick up anything they’re missing for the mission, because it’s all at their ‘muster station’ in the armory. No one but Gold Steve, that is. When he shows up, you’ve already delivered some backup items for the Quinjet, and are running back through Steve’s checklist to ensure there’s a copy of everything for his copy.

“Thanks for that,” he says when he walks up, a clear look of admiration in his eyes.

You’re all business. “All right, this is the alternate to Steve’s usual uniform. It used to be the primary, but he ripped it a little while back doing an event with some first responders, and I had it in for repairs. Truth is, I haven’t done the whole round of testing to make sure it’s got the right integrity to go back in--”

“I’m sure it’s fine, I don’t need a run-down. I trust you.”

“That’s good, because the upshot to Stark making me a symbolic tiebreaker is I’m gonna feel responsible if anything does happen,” you sigh, avoiding Gold Steve’s eyes by packing up his things so he can get going.

The door opens behind him, but you don’t see who it is before he replies with, “I wish the guy in charge of our gear back home was half as diligent as you are. You should give yourself a break.”

Beside him, your Steve walks up, shooting a look between the two of you. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” he asks. Given Gold Steve’s Serious Eyebrows and the way you’re wringing your hands, you suppose it’s a reasonable question, but it sends your stomach through a trapeze routine that tangles up your tongue, as well.

“She’s stressing out about the suit you’re graciously lending me,” Gold Steve answers smoothly. “Said something about not sending it through all the testing protocols, but--”

Steve reaches over for it, holding it up with a critical eye. “I don’t even remember where it ripped, ‘Dine, I’m sure it’s fine. Thanks for being careful, though.” You get the feeling that he was only looking it over to reassure you, and the thoughtfulness of the gesture warms your heart. “You’d better get moving, wheels up in fifteen,” he tells Gold Steve.

The two men nod respectfully at each other, and once Gold Steve has left, you take stock of your workspace, just in case you forgot anything. Satisfied you haven’t, you start toward the lockers to check over there.

“Wait, ‘Dine--”

Steve catches your hand. He catches your wrist first, actually, but your momentum carries the gesture through to your hand. It’s as close to a caress as you’ve ever felt from him, and you suck in a shocked, delighted breath, freezing in place for a few seconds.

“Yes?” Your voice is breathy, and you feel hot embarrassment thick in your throat.

He doesn’t let go. “Can I talk to you later? When I get back?”

You can’t not look at him now, so you do, nodding as you turn your head, totally normal, your besotted heart isn’t doing cartwheels in your chest or anything. As you thought he might, once you make eye contact, Steve lets go, but it’s gentle, a pulling away, again like a wanted touch.

“Okay, then,” he says awkwardly, flashing you a brilliant smile before turning and jogging away.

Minutes later, you’re still bemused, repeating tasks, distracted. “Okay, maybe this was why there were fainting couches. Not because our predecessors were weak and flighty, but because they needed a minute to collect themselves. Things were too expensive back then to screw them up with your head in the clouds!” you mutter to yourself.

It’s late evening. The team’s expected to stay overnight tonight, and you’re in the ‘rec room’ area waiting for news. The tv is on, and Wanda’s showing Vision one of her favorite episodes of a vintage show. You’d seen the weapons master Carl pass through at one point, but you don’t know where he is now. You’re at one of the computer desks poring over a scan of some old SSR documents, trying to calm your mind so you can sleep tonight.

“Is that Howard Stark’s handwriting?” Vision asks from behind you.

“Yeah, good catch!” you say, sharing a wry look with him. He’d probably recognize a lot of more obscure people’s handwriting, but it’s the thought that counts. “I like to go over his notes sometimes. No need to reinvent the wheel.”

“Yes, I imagine certain observations would be already documented,” Vision agrees. You feel his hand light on the back of your computer chair as he steps closer. “‘Rates of Metabolic Healing After Exposure to Low-Level Ionizing Radiation in Subject Rogers, Stephen Grant,’” he reads aloud. “Ah.”

There’s an uncomfortable level of understanding in that single word, and it makes you want to note that Wanda Maximoff probably didn’t need to drift quite so close to him as she walked past on her way to the restroom. That would be unkind, however, and there’s a non-zero chance that Vision might genuinely not understand you if you did try to rib him about it.

You go with, “Yes. ‘Ah.’”

“I hope you find the peace of mind you’re seeking,” Vision says quietly before walking away.

In your head, you answer, Me too, Viz. Me too.

They come back three days later, arriving in early morning New York time after having left Romania in the afternoon. You’re already at work when one of the Steves comes in wearing the full kit, clearly having come directly from the Quinjet. Your heart does a dull, frightened flip-flop when you realize you literally cannot tell the two of them apart anymore. Not since they’ve both favored you with a look of warm appreciation that sent your whole body into shivers.

“I owe you an apology,” this Steve says, turning around with a blush-cheeked wince. Three inches under his ass is a gap in the fabric wide enough to show a swathe of muscular thigh. “Good news is it gave way when I got antsy to get out of there, mid-leap onto the Quinjet. I came here because I don’t want to make it worse, trying to take it off without speaking to you first.”

You’re not picturing that.

You’re not.

Not.

“Thoughtful of you,” you say, rushing to add, because your tone could be described as caustic, “Not mad at you, I promise. I took a risk with this fabric. It doesn’t really repair, which is why I’d hesitated putting it back into rotation. Might be back to the drawing board for materials.”

He’s still basically presenting his ass, looking over his shoulder to say, “So no problem if it gets worse taking it off, then?”

“None at all."

“Got it. Thanks!” Gold Steve says, leaving without pressing you for further conversation. You try not to take it personally-- he’s got a hole in his pants, after all. Still, every time you talk to him, you feel like you get a little glimpse of what it might be like if you and your universe’s version of Steve ever felt more comfortable with each other. It’s like a hopeful little time machine. Future Steve, almost.

That would, of course, require Now Steve to do something more than just look at you like you’re someone special that one time.

And grab your hand.

Say he’d like to talk to you when--

“Brigandine!”

You startle out of your lovesick reverie to see Steve standing in front of you in regular clothes. He looks full-on exasperated, and you stammer out an apology.

“I’m sorry, I-- honestly, the other Steve was in here and the uniform ripped again, meaning I’m going to need new fabric, if it won’t repair, and--”

“He was in here already?”

Crystalline regret precipitates from every blood vessel as you see actual disappointment in Steve’s eyes, and maybe something else. You don’t dare speculate on what it is, not when your careless words may have implied there was more to Gold Steve’s chair-pulling than mere politeness. Your frantic thoughts are racing faster than the horse second in line at Preakness. Is this Steve’s typical gallant leadership, defensive of ‘his’ team at the imposition of a stranger? Would he react that way when the stranger is himself?

Your innate truthfulness proceeds to make everything worse.

“He didn’t know how to take it off without making it worse, and since it’s yours-- ”

Steve actually starts pacing around away from you, and you have a split second of confusion as you go back over your words before you realize.

“Steve, I promise you, your other universe counterpart didn’t come in here to have me help him take your clothes off, okay?”

“Well, when you put it like that--”

“Oh my God, Tony’s got a recording of me saying that!” You slump into your seat, throw your arms down on it, and bury your head onto them, entirely embarrassed. You’re both terrified and elated at the idea that Steve might be in any way jealous of Gold Steve’s influence on you, mostly because of what that might mean about his own feelings. There’s nowhere to run to, no way to go back to the way things were before, and the yawning chasm of what ifs ahead scares the hell out of you.

“Somehow this whole visit got turned around,” Steve says. You let out a little noise of distress, and he chuckles. “How about a redo? Lunchtime?”

“You’re on, but my face is puffy and I’m hiding from Tony’s all-seeing eye,” you say with your head still buried, popping him a thumbs up.

“I can have a talk with FRIDAY if you want me to?”

His tone is so gentle that you sit up, desperate to know what his expression could be. Steve’s eyebrows are lifted, his head tipped to the side with a slight smile that grows broader on seeing you lift your head. If these subdued reactions are enough to intoxicate you, how on Earth would you survive anything stronger?

Before you can say anything, though, Steve heads for the door, pausing once he’s got it open to say, “Flustered looks good on you.”

He leaves without looking back.

Next chapter...