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#his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
scoobydoodean · 2 days
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why is dean so funny and perfect? 🤔 I think we should start disk horse about how impressive his comedic timing is and how his face is made for smooching and how his milkshake brings all the girls and boys to the yard <3
So true 😌
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messeduphood · 2 years
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introvertpluviophile · 11 months
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Ryan Gosling’s improved lines vs what made the final cut 🤣
credits to owner: @mr.mcmuffinm4n (instagram)
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munadrawson · 6 months
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Click and Open image for HQ! [Ko-fi] | [Twitter] | [Instagram]
Hmmm 🤔?
BONUS:
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vampiressmoney · 1 year
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Do you like slutty waists on people named James Hetfield?
Then this is for you.
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showmey0urfangs · 2 years
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Louis' Neck Appreciation Post
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derangedthots · 10 months
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recently got into a ship from another fandom bc of a very specific and absolutely phenomenal longfic (no srsly...it was life-changing) where one of the main romantic driving conflicts was "ass so good it drove him insane" and like, god i respect it so much
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it-me-sannore · 1 year
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Just read Hyacinth and Gareth's story for the first time and loved it! Such a playful story, with a cute romance and many fun Bridgerton sibling moments.
But looking back on my highlighted notes, it turns out my favourite part was Lady Danbury! Hyacinth's relationship with her was hilarious so I'm not surprised.
Hyacinth opened her mouth, but thankfully, Lady Danbury didn’t seem to desire an answer. “He’s a rogue, it’s true,” the countess sailed on, “but it’s nothing you can’t overcome if you put your mind to it.” “I’m not going to—” “Just yank your dress down a little when next you see him,” Lady D cut in, waving her hand impatiently in front of her face. “Men lose all sense at the sight of a healthy bosom. You’ll have him—” “Lady Danbury!” Hyacinth crossed her arms. - Julia Quinn, from "It's in His Kiss"
Love her!
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It’s just a constant stream of men throwing themselves at Chon, and Ton not knowing how to handle it even a little bit
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blondephil · 10 months
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sooooo true of phil to get the milkshake card
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sophsun1 · 4 months
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#his milkshake brings all the boys and girls to the yard
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marrymepickering · 2 years
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It’s essential after those sexy goals 
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byuntrash101 · 4 months
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milkshake. — 정.우영
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f!reader x sub!wooyoung ft. seonghwa & san smut | mdni 3k wooyoung needs to impress the ceo and chairman to get the newly open cfo position and for that he's planning to go all out, show off everything he's got. including his precious, stunning and bewitching wife: you. nsfw tags under the cut
#20: riding + nipple play (twt p☆rnlink) office!au, ceo!seonghwa, chairman!san, husband!woo, billionnaire boys club vibes (very wealthy), trophy wife!reader, babysitter!yeosang (mentionned), the three of them worship reader, woo is a fierce business man by day but your good boy by night, mommy kink, cowgirl, unprotected sex (they are married so i'll allow it for once), brief voyeurism from hwa and san, nipple play, wooyoung lowkey has an oral fixation, also he's obsessed with your boobs, actually the others are also obsessed with your boobs (your milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard), lactation, lots of praises, creampie, cockwarming, lowkey wholesome (idk im in my feels)
a/n: yeah for my first woo fic! cant believe it took me this long but i actually absolutely love this piece. it really feels like woo idk like kinda very determined and ambitious but also simping for the one he loves in private... i love him ok? 😣
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divider: @lavendergalactic
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“I was just with Yeosang on the phone.” You settled the burgundy lips stick and grabbed your favorite blush. “He said she was exhausted after playing with uncle Sangie all day” you giggled picturing your little girl running around making his uncle crazy.
“Are you really going to wear that?” Wooyoung said as he lifted the dress you had chosen for tonight off the hanger with an almost disappointed expression.
You put down the blush powder and the brush you were holding to lower the volume of your “getting ready” playlist. You sighed, scanning your husband’s distressed face then the scrunched up material in his large balled fist. 
“What’s wrong with this dress? You’ve always liked it and isn’t black your favorite color?” 
“Yes it is but we need to make a strong impression tonight!” Wooyoung said, discarding the dress on the shared bed and disappearing in the adjacent walk-in closet. You shrugged and went back to your blush, time was running out and you still had to do something with your hair that was in the time being wet and wrapped in a towel.
“I have to show just how successful we are to show them how much more I can do for the company. I just have to get the job, '' Wooyoung said while rummaging through your wardrobe.
The CFO position had opened and Wooyoung was not about to miss his chance for a stupid simple black dress. Tonight was about showing off everything he got from the luxurious penthouse apartment in the heart of Seoul to the expensive sports cars tucked away in the garage and of course that included you. Without a doubt his most treasured accomplishment. His beautifully stunning wife. 
His fingers brushed over the sequins he was looking for and he pulled from the hanger a beautiful bodycon long dress. It was corseted at the waist and of a beautiful fiery red. It gave the exact message wooyoung wanted to convey: “alluring, daring, bold”.
He remembered when he saw you for the first time when he was just an intern finishing off university and entering the cruel cold world of business. Wooyoung fell for you on the spot. And the thing with this man is that he always gets what he wants. He was absolutely charming, witty, funny and of course obsessed with you. How could you not fall for him too? A year later he was buying you the ring. And you saw him year after year climbing the corporate ladder, making the right decisions, the right connections until he led the both of you here. 
You made the right choice when you picked him and his company will make the right choice when they’ll promote him. He’ll show them tonight.
He came back from the dressing room as you were taking the towel off your head. 
“Here, wear this!” he said, laying the dress on the bed. You approached him and pointed at the rather revealing dress. 
“Are you sure about this one?” you asked, lifting an eyebrow. 
“Absolutely certain” 
You shrugged once again and unwrapped your satin lounging gown to slip on the dress. As soon as you turned around, Wooyoung's heart jumped in his throat. The dress looked practically sewed onto your skin. It was kissing your frame beautifully and highlighting your womanly features perfectly. 
His eyes dropped to your decolletage and he swallowed hard trying to push back the thought of shoving his face right in your chest, pulling on the red fabric to make your breasts jump out, wrapping his lips around your nipples, sucking them, nibbling at them until they hardened under his hot tongue. Beg you to wrap your hand around his leaking coc-
“If your goal was to show off then it’s mission accomplished” you said, pulling Wooyoung out of his inner turmoil. You shook your shoulder slightly and your husband’s eyes diligently followed the swaying of your breasts which made you smirk. You knew he was holding back with everything he got. He never was able to resist you but you enjoyed watching him try.
“You’re so fucking hot” he breathed out, jaw hanging loose.
“Woo! You don’t think you should be a little more refined than that? That kind of behavior won't impress CEO Park and Chairman Choi” you chuckled as your husband reluctantly peeled his eyes off your chest to settle on your smoked out eyes.
You were a vixen goddess, created solely to have men kneeling at your feet. It was the only explanation that made sense.
Wooyong pulled on the Fendi blazer and checked his Rolex. Time was definitely running out but…
“Fuck them” Wooyoung huffed, taking a step towards you and pulling on the dress to reveal the object of his every fantasies. 
“Woo!! We’re going to be late” you slapped his shoulder, chuckling. He didn’t even last a handful of seconds.
“Please” he puffed quietly, wrapping his large hand around the lump of flesh lightly squeezing it, watching it ooze out of his grasp. He already sounded desperate. And you knew he was by the way his rock hard cock was pressing on your hip. But just in case you didn't catch on yet, Wooyoung made it very clear.
“Please, mommy. Let me have just a little taste” he looked up at you with such pleading eyes. Nothing of the fierce and determined business man he was a second ago and will be in a minute from now.
“Fine baby.” you admitted defeat and instantly wooyoung wetted his pretty lips and wrapped them around your nipples sucking on the bud and pressing them with his palm until they started leaking his favorite treat. So warm, velvety and sweet. Perfect.
He didn’t waste a single drop hungrily sucking and swallowing in big gulps. You moaned at your husband’s fervor before pushing him out lightly.
“Enough”.
Wooyoung extended his neck just to prolong the pleasure for a brief second before he popped off your chest with a lewd wet sound. 
He wiped the milk with his thumb. “Go and get ready” He said before licking a drop o white milk on his thumb. So he turned on his heels and left.
In the next minutes you did your hair in an elegant updo that complimented the rest of the ensemble. And you finished off the look with a pair of opened toed high heeled sandals.
Meanwhile Wooyoung tended to the rest of the preparations and just as he went over the menu one last time with the private chef the doorbell rang. 
“CEO Park, Chairman Choi, please enter” Wooyoung said politely inviting the guests in. 
“Aaaah Wooyoung-ah!” Mr Park tapped Wooyoung’s shoulder in a friendly manner. “Thank you for having us” Mr Choi said, lightly bowing his head, as always his manners were irreproachable.
“Very nice place” Mr Park noted as he admired the high ceiling of the hall and the huge stairway leading to the upstairs.
“Thank you, CEO Park” Wooyoung smiled politely.
“Come on, call me Seonghwa!” he said, tapping his shoulder once again. “We might have to work a little closely, so we better get used to being familiar, huh?” Mr Park gave a light squeeze on his shoulder. Wooyoung’s eyes turned round with surprise. He turned to Mr Choi to make sure he heard correctly and the latter gave him a small knowing smile that creased his cat-like eyes. Wooyoung’s face brightened up, things were going even better than he expected.
“Right, Sannie?”
“Of course! You played your cards well up until now. There’s no reason we should change our minds tonight, right?” The Chairman smiled again.
“Yes! Of course, sir” Wooyoung bowed respectfully and returned the bright smile, radiating. “Please follow me to the living space. My wife will join us short-”
“I’m here, honey” You said from the top of the stairs. Gently picking up your red dress before descending.
As soon as you appeared all three heads whipped to you. You were absolutely stunning, captivating their gaze with just the way your legs were supporting you and letting you down the stairs so elegantly. Wooyoung’s smile grew twice as large when he saw from the corner of his eyes Mr Park’s talkative mouth close in surprise and Mr Choi mechanically pull on the collar of his italian tailored shirt that suddenly felt a little tight. He knew they wanted to throw themselves on their knees and kiss your feet. It was in their mortal nature to worship a goddess like you. 
“Please excuse me. I was held back for a while” you simply excused yourself while the two other men thickly swallowed and tried to regain composure to start articulating something that sounded intelligible. 
“There’s no need to apologize,” Mr Park said, round eyes turning sharp all of a sudden. “You look sublime, Madam” You giggled as he took your hand and laid a soft kiss on the back. 
“Oh thank you, what a charmer” you laughed exchanging a winning look with your husband. 
You knew how much he liked to see other men eyeing you like candy knowing he was the one holding your hand every day and tasting you every night. He loved to show you off. Seeing other men drooling over you, imagining in a split second how a night with you would feel just reminds him you are his. His only. They can look all they want that only fuels your husband.
And the spell was definitely casted as Mr Choi’s gaze was inevitably pulled by the magnetic power of your cleavage, he eyed your chest with little to no restrain. The legendary Choi Clan’s princely manners didn’t last long, Wooyoung thought, grinning to himself.
“Mr Choi, you bowed respectfully making the man blush slightly as he also bowed.
“Mrs. Jung.”
“Please follow me. Let's sit and enjoy tonight” Wooyoung said, saving Mr Choi from more embarrassment. 
As the evening  progressed you all had drinks before moving on to the meal. You captured the attention more than once of the two other men trying so hard not to look below your neckline. Of course they couldn't. But Wooyoung really shined through. He was talking strategy and finance for the company but also knew how to entertain the guests. He was funny but also incredibly competent. That much was obvious. Of course he was! He was your husband. Nothing resisted him. Not even you. 
At some point the night was well advanced, the house staff all went home and after so long you just couldn’t handle anymore of all this attention on you, you needed a little break from it all. You excused yourself to the bathroom. 
Since you had deserted the battlefield you figured you would send a small encouragement to your husband. You took your phone and hit ‘record’. You pulled down the dress once again, making your breast jump out of the fabric, they were so full, already pearling. You lightly palmed them with one hand and pinched your nipple, making yourself moan in release before pulling on it making your tit spurt out a big squirt of white warm milk, you sighed and moaned, your milk spilling on the marble floors. You barely managed to keep your voice down and you figured you should probably stop there before you make an even bigger mess. So you hit ‘send’.
“Where did you find her, Wooyoung-ah? She’s incredible. Right, San?” Mr Park asked, blatant admiration in his voice made airy with the alcohol. Wooyoung laughed, happy to add yet another name to the long list of your suitors. 
“She is quite the lady isn’t she?” Mr Choi agreed, tilting his head back and downing the rest of his whisky, already crimson red in the cheeks.
Wooyoung’s phone chimed when he pulled it out he noticed it was a video file he muted his phone and played the video, without realizing the other two were peeping at the screen. He immediately felt his pants grow tighter as you pulled on the dress revealing your breasts. And when you squirted the milk out he was about to lose it.
“Fuckkk” Mr Choi let out in a quiet whisper.
“Wow” Mr Park breathed simultaneously.
Both their voices were drenched in need and transpired arousal beyond comprehension. Even though they were sitting, there was no need to see below their waistline to know they both were hard and leaking.
All three men looked at each other in shock. For a second silence fell between them. Wooyoung knew he could have been a little more careful and the other two knew they shouldn’t have peeped but it was too tempting. You were too tempting. 
“Looks like she needs you right there, Wooyoung-ah” Mr Choi said before sitting up. “I think we overstayed our welcome. Are you ready to go, CEO Park?”
Wooyoung accompanied them to the front door despite the discomforting tightness of his pants but it was an issue the other two were sharing. 
“I believe we’ll see you in your new office on Monday, CFO Jung?” Mr Choi winked at Wooyoung and went on his way while Mr Park stayed back.
“You’re one lucky bastard, you know that?” he added before joining Mr Choi.
As soon as Wooyoung closed the front door he ran upstairs with big strides to your bedroom where he found you waiting for him standing in the middle of the room. 
“You did such a good job today, Youngie” you said, spreading your arms where he immediately engulfed himself, nuzzling your neck with his nose that you loved so much. You sat him on the edge of the bed while you stood and his face slipped from your neck to your breasts. 
Finally his happy place.
“You were such a good boy for mommy today”
“I was?” he looked up at you with loving, sparkly eyes.
“Yes of course you were, CFO Jung”
“Fuck it sounds so good when you say it” He huffed and you chuckled. 
“You deserve your reward” you zipped down the red gown and let it pool at your feet. Wooyoung almost exploded just looking at you. He wanted to be all over you, to worship you but he knew better than to say anything. He knew he just had to wait and so he did when you stripped him off his clothes until you were both in your simplest forms. 
You pushed on his chest until he was leaning back on his elbows, feet still flat on the floor.
“You’re going to be a good boy and let mommy ride your pretty cock?”
“Y-Yesss mommy. I’ll be g-... fuck- I’ll be so good for you” he panted as you pumped his cock a couple of times between your fingers before straddling him and aligning hm with your entrance. “Look at me baby” you whispered as you were lowering your hips, Wooyoung eyes snapped to yours, they looked so distressed, they were begging for help. And you were about to grant his wish.
“Nhhgggg Fffff- Mommy~” Wooyoung’s last two brain cell were officially bing fried beyond recognition as he felt your warm and wet pussy taking him. You felt like heaven, so tight but so welcoming. So fucking perfect that he had to focus on anything that wasn’t you not to bust immediately. He looked at the moldings on the ceiling or the subtle diamond pattern of the satin sheets just so he could last for you. Be good for you. It was what he desired most. He wanted to make you feel good.
“Mmmhh so good my baby” you cooed, your voice a tad strained. You too were pretty worked up and you knew you wouldn’t last long. All this teasing made you quite impatient and you started to rock your hips back and forth immediately taking a rhythm that you knew was aiming the both of you straight to the finish line. 
“Fuck mommy please I want t-… nghhh- to have mommy’s milk” Wooyoung cried as his cock throbbed inside you. You wrapped your hand around his nape and brought his mouth to your tit. 
“Drink up, baby”
“Fank youph” Wooyoung said his mouth full eagerly sucking on your nipples while your hips rolled and bucked against his, making him see stars and forget about anything that wasn’t you and him. The precious nectar flooded his mouth and he swallowed in thick gulps, white and sweet milk spilling down his chin and dripping onto his abs. 
“Good boy, good baby” you huffed as you picked up the pace earning another perfectly muffled moan from your devastatingly cute husband. You were very close, your cunt clenching down on Wooyoung’s length like it was the last time ever.
“Now you’re gonna cum for ma baby Okay?” you panted. “Make mommy nice and full with your cum, okay?”
“Yeshyeshyesh” Woyoung mumbled, sucking even harder on your hard and leaking nipple. Urging you to rutt your hips even faster making him whine and whimper as his cock was ready to implode inside you.
“Fuckk baby you’re so good. So so good for me~~” 
“Mommyyy” Woyoung said, finally losing it as he took your nipple between his teeth harshly pulling at the skin, squirting a stream of milk onto his wet tongue while he pumped you full of piping hot cum.
You moaned and arched your back as you came undone, the stimulation on your tit paired with the delicious filling sensation in your lower stomach swept you off in a wave of mind numbing pleasure, your cunt throbbing around Wooyoung’s cock until it was certain he had given you everything he had to offer. 
You stayed exactly like this. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him tight to your chest as you both tried to catch your breath, mind pleasantly fuzzy after an intense orgasm.
After a while you pulled back slightly, careful to not let his softening cock slip out, keeping him nice and snug inside your heat. You kissed his pretty and reddened face, his cheeks, moles,  nose and lips. Everywhere you could, pushing his dampened hair out of his pretty eyes.
“Excellent work, CFO Jung. The company is lucky to have you. But I’m even luckier.”
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a/n: thanks for reading <3333
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starkdevotee · 2 months
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I still find it funny, like
Lestat sees Louis about to make a pincushion out of his brother and goes: he is the one, the one I'm going to marry. But first I must make him doubt everything he's ever known.
And Armand is like: this uncouth, miserable, American man is the answer to all of my issues, sexual and otherwise. I'm going to be his. But first I must destroy all he has left.
And Louis just goes with it. This might as well happen, I guess. I'm down with it. Until he isn't.
What is it about his milkshake that brings all the boys to his yard? Cause I'm starting to think the flavour is catnip to fucked up vampires.
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happygirl2oo2 · 4 months
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Damm, first Cat King and now Monty the crow, Edwin's milkshake sure seems to bring all the animal shapeshifter boys to his yard lmao
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fatkish · 5 days
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Y/n x Kimetsu no Gauken
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Y/n: *in the teacher’s lounge at their desk, sprays fart spray*
Sanemi: and then this kid was like- *sniffs* what the f-ck? The hell is that?!
Tengen: what are you talking about? *smells the air* *gags* what the hell did you eat? That’s rank!
Kyojuro: *takes a whiff* That is quite the offensive smell! However I’m impressed with how bad it is!
Obanai: *smells it* Sanemi what the hell
Sanemi: it wasn’t me!
Tengen: the f-ck have you been eating to make such a smell?
Obanai: did you sh-t your pants?
Sanemi: NO! It wasn’t me!
Gyomei: *cries* we should open a window
Y/n: I’ll do it *opens window and sprays fart spray when they walk past Sanemi*
Obanai: Again! What is wrong with you
Sanemi: the f-ck! It ain’t me! My sh-t don’t smell like that
Kanae: *covering her nose* Sanemi, you might want to see a doctor
Tengen: *gaging* it smells like death’s ass in here
Y/n: *falls over laughing*
Sanemi: the hell are you laughing at?!
Y/n: *holds up fart spray for everyone to see* it was a prank
Sanemi: I’m gonna kill you!
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Kyojuro: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Tengen: That's deep.
Y/n: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.
Tengen: That's deeper.
Sanemi: ….You guys are idiots.
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Y/n: *Gasp*
Sanemi: wHAT??
Y/n: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?
Sanemi: *inhales*
Tengen, in another room with Kyojuro: Why can I hear screeching?
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Y/n: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?
Tengen: Schrödinger's boys.
Kyojuro: FUCK!
Gyomei: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?
Sanemi: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.
Sanemi: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.
Y/n: ...
Tengen: ...
Kyojuro: ...
Gyomei: ...
Sanemi: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.
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Gyomei: Anyone d-
Y/n: Depressed?
Obanai: Drained?
Goto: Dumb?
Giyuu: Disliked?
Gyomei: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...
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Kyojuro: You know what I learned from my friendship with Sanemi?
Gyomei: There’s no such thing as too mean?
Tengen: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?
Y/n: Always hold a grudge?
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Y/n: *arguing with Sanemi*
Sanemi: you don’t even have the balls to do that
Y/n: yes I do and they’re bigger than yours! They’re on my chest!
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Y/n: Tell me, what you are mad at?
Tengen: I paid twenty dollars for bottomless drinks.
Kyojuro, in the background: They got to the bottom.
Tengen: What is that? The bottom of the damn glass!
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Y/n, holding a rock: Kyojuro just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".
Tengen: If you don't marry them, I will.
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Tengen: Hi could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?
Y/n: Microwave for 40 minutes.
Sanemi: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?!
Y/n: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn’t own any pots…
Kyojuro: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?!
Y/n: Microwave for 40 minutes.
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Tengen: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
Y/n: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
Kyojuro: A realist sees a freight train.
Sanemi: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
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Y/n: Hey, how did my phone break?
Kyojuro: You were drunk yesterday.
Y/n: And?
Gyomei: You threw it.
Y/n: Why?
Tengen: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!”
Y/n: And why didn’t you stop me?!
Sanemi: We were busy laughing our asses off.
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