#his pining wasn't really the focus lol

[phyrestartr]

Icarus Drabbles (Pt.2) | Sukuna x M!Reader

W/C: 3.7k [#Modern AU, ABO dynamics, bottom!reader, top!sukuna, Mob Boss!Sukuna, Alpha!Sukuna, Street Doctor!Reader, Omega!Reader, toxic relationships, age gap, sukuna is mid 30s, yuuji gang and reader are mid 20s, sukuna and yuuji are brothers, sukuna has FEELINGS, but he is BAD AT FEELINGS, nsfw, fluff, hurt/comfort, cheating, zenin family mentioned, lightly edited lmfao]

Note: There will prolly be a third drabble thingie lol I just wanted to post SOMETHING

tag: @better-imagination-9

1. Restless

Sukuna finally bagged you, the omega he pined over and hunted down for over a decade, and knocked you up, made you move in with him to ensure he could keep an eye on you and that growing baby bump. His alpha had rejoiced, running its victory lap around Sukuna’s chest, but then it slowed, yawned, and curled up, satiated. 

Now, his human side was left to its own devices, and it was bored. 

Probably because you were boring. Or, well, you’d become boring–you and your omega seemed more in-tune with one another, both settling down as soon as you both agreed on staying with Sukuna, with your mate. To Sukuna’s human instincts, that meant you were about as exciting and fun as doing his taxes. Yet, at the same time, he couldn’t fathom letting you go. Whenever the hypothetical crossed his mind, that second set of eyes would open and stare, tear bared, anger rippling. And Sukuna would agree with it. He didn’t want to lose you, yet he didn’t always want you either. 

And he was bored. 

“Hey,” you cooed, leaning over his shoulder as he stared into space on the couch. “You okay?”

Sukuna blinked a few times and rubbed his face tiredly, finding himself growing pissed off at the dull delight your presence brought him. “Yeah, ‘m fine. Need something?”

“Well, Christmas’s coming up,” you reminded. “Wanted to make sure we were still–”

“Can’t.” Bitterness rose in the back of Sukuna’s throat. God, he didn’t even want to look at you right now. “Gotta work.” He finally spared you a glance, but only after a long stretch of silence. You didn’t look perturbed or mad, not really sad or disappointed, just…placid. 

You looked at your phone, staring at something just for a moment before returning back to him with a slight nod of acceptance. “Alright.” 

Sukuna's other bristled. “Alright.” 

“I knew you couldn't really be taken ‘n tied down, Sukuna-sama,” Yorozu cooed as she cozied up into the spot between the man's legs, her hands smoothing up and down his thighs before deftly unlatching his belt and ripping it off. “You're too good for that sort of life.” 

“Don’t you have somethin’ better to do with that mouth?” The nice part of Sukuna asked. The less nice part of him wanted to rip her head off and punt it at the stupid fucking moon. Luckily for her, he was trying not to throw as many things at the horizon these days. 

Yorozu's eyes shone with pure delight. “Oh, of course, of course.” She unzipped his slacks expertly quick and pulled free his half-chub, excitedly stroking it to get him to full-mast. 

Sukuna sighed and sank back in his chair, trying to focus and enjoy the attention and spice he so sorely missed, but it was hard. Well, not hard, which was the problem–his mind wasn't finding this (cheating, getting a blow job at his desk, having a woman with tits on his knees for him) exciting. Thankfully, though, his body reacted in his mind's stead, and decided to not embarrass him. 

He closed his eyes and focused on the small hands grasping his base and holding his thigh–but your bigger, stronger hands held him better, digging in without the lethality of acrylics threatening harm. At least her mouth was warm, her lips soft--but your lips were soft, too, and you knew where he liked to feel your tongue press down. Her hair was silky and thick enough to fist his hand in–but yours was just…better. He couldn't describe it, but–

Knock it off, he growled. He needed a break from you, from how mundane you made everything, that was the whole fucking reason he ditched you in the first place. You were boring. You were making life boring. You–

What were you up to, actually? 

Sukuna sighed, this time in defeat, and snatched up his phone while Yorozu gave him head. He scrolled through whatever socials he knew you had, but saw nothing new, nothing Christmas-y. 

Who the hell is he visiting again? He looked to the side, gazing through the huge windows looming behind his desk as he thought, and then remembered. 

Sukuna tapped open your text thread and grimaced–it was so blatantly one-sided. The sight of his flippant convo-killing responses hit him with a wave of psychic damage that probably couldn't be fully healed for as long as he lived. He wasn't a fan of texting, but he was a fan of you. But-wait, didn't he loathe you?

5:05am went to see my mom for christmas

5:05am getting picked up dw

5:06am hope work doesn't suck too much

Right. You went to see family. Right. Sukuna was supposed to meet your mother. 

Damn.

“Fuck's sake,” Sukuna muttered moments before fisting his hand in Yorozu's hair and pulling him off his softening cock. “We're done.” He stood and tucked himself away, ignoring the indignant scoff the woman sent his way. 

“Sukuna–” 

“Leave.” He sent a text your way instead of tuning in to whatever Yorozu said as she picked herself up off her knees:

10:49pm When should I pick you up?

Of course he was gonna pick you up. He wasn’t about to let someone else take care of you for a second longer. 

“Clearly you're unhappy,” Yorozu finally cut in. 

Sukuna saw a read notification pop up in the chat. 

“Clearly that other one isn't satisfying you fully.” 

He watched the three dots pop up as you replied back. 

“After he has your pup–”

10:52pm you can come now

10:52pm if you're free 

“--you should reconsider your choice in mate–” 

Bang.

10:53pm Send me the address.

He stepped over her and the pooling crimson on his way to the door, texting Uraume to call the cleaners to take care of a mess in his office while he went to pick up his baby mama. 

Picking you up had been eventful.

Firstly, Maki and Mai had refused to open the gate for Sukuna in favour of mocking him and exclaiming, “are you kidding me? You're the baby daddy?” while incessantly prodding him for information. You'd managed to bat them aside to let him up to the house, though it took some effort on your part. 

Next, Toji Zenin himself was waiting at the front door, arms crossed, totally unbothered, dressed in his hideous Christmas jumper that his woman had apparently made him wear as punishment for something. Sukuna ribbed him, hiding just how confused he was about the entire thing–he didn't fucking get why there were so many Zenin assholes here. The outcasts, sure, but what the fuck was that about? 

“Oh. Toji's my stepdad,” you said when you had finally squeezed your dragon's hoard of gifts into the car and got in the damn thing to go home. Sukuna left it at that for the time being–he didn't want to think about what the fuck that meant now that the two of you were together. He had time to ask a thousand questions another day.

His mind still whirred in the elevator, though, and when he helped carry your only-child gifts into the penthouse like a servant put under a spell. You said something to him that he only realized a solid fifteen minutes later was, “I'm taking a bath. There's room for two,” and a fire suddenly lit under his ass. 

“Huh, so you can bear to look at me,” you hummed from the bath. It was large and oaken, filled with yuzu thanks to Uraume's thoughtfulness, and it overlooked snowy Tokyo and all its bustling, light-filled glory and–wait, what.

Sukuna scoffed as he pulled off his clothes methodically. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

You watched him undress shamelessly. “It means you still have lipstick on your dick.” You poked away one of the yuzu that bumped into you. “It's not really my colour.” 

Sukuna clenched his teeth and kicked aside his clothes before grabbing the showerhead to wash off before joining you because he was going to join you. No matter the case. No matter the objection. 

But you never objected. You leaned back in the tub and watched him while you rolled another yuzu between your palms. “Did you have fun fucking her?” Fuck, you could be so scary sometimes. And you didn't even have to try.

Sukuna found it hard to answer. He found it hard to even speak. Christ, was this shame? “Look–I didn't fuck her. Didn't even get close.” 

“So she just sucked your dick.”

“Tried. Didn't finish. Couldn't.” 

“So sad. Why not?”

“‘Cause she's not you.” Sukuna finished with the shower and slipped into the bath, sitting across from you with a content sigh. “You give better head.” 

“That went from being somewhat meaningful to annoying,” you grumbled. Still, you scooched over to him and pressed up against his side, clearly in the mood to forgive his stupid little attempted fling. “So. Then you're sure about this.” 

“Sure about what?” Sukuna wondered, suddenly feeling more at ease with the rich scent of you pooling through his senses. He leaned into you when you carefully smoothed his hair out of his face with that usual, simple gentility he'd come to desire so desperately every day. “Sure about you?” 

“Yeah. Us. Everything.” You nuzzled at his neck, dutifully scenting him up with kisses, nips and licks. “You started pulling away like a pussy, so I figured you regretted it.” 

Sukuna had to laugh. “You're callin’ me a pussy?” He half-growled before yoinking you into his lap and squeezing you up against him. His grin widened when he saw you hold back a smile. “I think you should apologize.” 

“You cheated on me with your stalker. Why do I need to apologize?” 

“You hurt my fuckin’ feelings.” 

“Oh. Hm. I see.” Your fingers, bigger than a woman's yet still elegant as a piano player's, danced across his firm shoulders in thought. “I think you need to have feelings for me to hurt them.” 

His hands found their rightful place (on your ass) and kneaded your skin thoroughly, squeezing and pinching wherever he felt most enticed. “You know I have feelings, sweetheart. Why do ya think you're here in the first place, huh?” 

Your scent flared with bashful approval. “Guess that's good to know. These days, you've left me wondering.” 

Sukuna grew placid gazing upon your features, listening to your words. If he really tried, behind that diamond mask of nonchalance most Zenin brats wore, there existed soft, vulnerable skin--tired and ragged, worried and creased. He'd done that to you. Why had he done that to you? 

He lifted a hand from your curves to cup your face gently, his touch breaking through the shields you so bravely put up to tell the world to fuck off. And you leaned into that touch so eagerly, so hungrily, with a sigh that sounded like you just remembered how to breathe. 

“‘M sorry,” Sukuna mumbled. The word felt foreign on his tongue. He didn’t know if he even said it right.

Your eyes squeezed shut just a little tighter, holding onto whatever you could of your crumbling shell as your hand rose to rest on his. “You know I love you,” you said while diamond dust turned to quicksilver.

Sukuna wiped the glimmer from your lashes. “Love you too, runt. Mean it.” Those words still felt strange, too, but he loved those words. He loved the way they made you glow from within, how they solidified you and stopped you from collapsing into a melted mess in the face of his betrayal and swift try at redemption. 

You nodded a little, the hard line of your mouth softening. Sukuna relaxed and hugged you close to him, purring deep in his chest in rhythm with you as you wholly accepted him in return and buried your face into his neck. He did the same, scenting you the way you had him, enjoying your company and weight against him. Because he loved you. He really did. 

So, he said once again, “Sorry.”

2. Family Matters

“Sukuna,” Wasuke warned. The attention of the younger alpha, leaning against the counter, was on you as you yapped on about this and that with his little brother.

Sukuna grunted and looked over his shoulder at the old man, though, silently and curtly asking, what? even though he already knew what was coming.

“Leave that boy alone.” 

Sukuna stared at his grandfather. It'd become more and more common, the way the young man challenged his elder, maintaining hostile eye contact that threatened the beginning of the end if the older broke first–but he never did. The old fuck was too tough. Molded by whatever his own colourful irezumi put him through. 

Once, when he was younger, Sukuna wanted to know how to break his elder. He wanted to crack him open and rip those secrets from him, find out how he could use that knowledge to his advantage to never feel so small in the eyes of another ever again. He hated it. He hated the dominance held over him, the humility that came with it. 

But, like always, Sukuna broke first, looking away with a grumble, reinforcing his place in the food chain.

Sukuna sighed. The old house was the same–far too traditional, too plain, too normal. It irked him to his core. Here, amidst all the boring normal shit of his past, his status in society no longer mattered; here, he forfeited first place, and took up second.

“Hey,” came your voice, muffled by the car window separating you from your lover. When Sukuna looked over at you, he saw his little nugget tucked safely in your arms, only half-awake as she nuzzled into the warmth of your chest. 

But then there was you. A face full of confusion, annoyance, and exasperation greeted Sukuna. You went for the door handle to wrench your man out of the car, but he locked it, watching you yank on the handle a handful of times before you knocked on the window incessantly. 

“Get out of the goddamn car, you little shit,” you hissed, looking between Sukuna and the front door of the house frantically. You stared at him hard, then, your frustration building every second your alpha refused to budge and end the embarrassment crashing down on you. 

A terrifyingly calm expression took over your face, before you adjusted the little pup in your arms and fished something out of your pocket. Sukuna didn't realize what it was until you leaned over and slammed your fist into the hood of the car, tearing into it easily with the fucking key in your hand. 

“You gotta be shitting me–” Sukuna scrambled to unlock the door and swing it open. He hopped out and slammed the car door closed. “You little–” 

“Oh, good, you found your balls.” 

Sukuna groaned as he looked at the damage you left. “Baby, you know how expensive this is gonna be to fix? Fucking hell, why're you such a crazy bitch?” 

“Well, look who I'm stuck with,” you said lightly. “Obviously you've corrupted me. It's not my fault.”

Sukuna grumbled and turned to you, grabbing you and pulling you close; but instead doling out a punishment as his past self was so accustomed to doing, he aggressively nuzzled the top of your head, viciously scenting you up and squeezing you against his solid frame while he grumbled and growled. 

“I'm splitting you in half when we get home.” 

You sighed, dramatic. “Oh no. I'm so afraid. But I guess I deserve such a brutal punishment. Sigh.” You nuzzled him back before tiptoeing up to kiss his chin, then his lips when he leaned down to meet you the rest of the way. “Ready?” 

Sukuna took a deep breath and looked over your face, running the back of his fingers against the rise of your cheekbone. He loved touching your face these days (more than usual). You still held onto a bit of pregnancy plushness that filled in the hollow angles of your handsomely beautiful face and other once-bony parts of your body. You'd never panicked about it, but you bitched and moaned, loudly lamenting about the way your clothes fit a little differently or how you just had to keep stealing Sukuna's shirts to replace your own. 

Touka, your little one, mewled from her spot smooshed between her parents. Sukuna sighed as he pulled back to look down at her, hoping she'd take most the heat off of him when he faced his grandfather again. 

“Let's just get this over with.” 

Yuuji was the one who answered the door. He lived with Wasuke, claiming it was just easier and cheaper than getting his own place, but most knew the younger was a worry wart; he couldn't stand by and let his grandfather get put in a home or quietly tough out everyday life on his own in his elderly years. Yuuji stayed for the sake of family, and Wasuke quietly welcomed it. His brother's goodness nearly struck Sukuna with guilt. 

But any chance at guilt died the moment he met the old bastard's stony gaze. 

“Itadori-san,” you cooed pleasantly, a far cry from the demon that'd keyed Sukuna's car. “It's good to see you again.” 

Wasuke quirked a brow and walked up to you, nudging Yuuji aside so he could get a good look at you and the pup nestled to your chest. Sukuna took a breath and looked away. He didn't need to see the critical stare of the old man while he processed the fact that Sukuna had indeed not stayed away from you. Ugh, the idea of being scolded made the alpha itch. 

“We're far beyond honorifics, boy. You know that,” Wasuke lightly scolded, and you beamed. Sukuna could imagine a little shiba inu tail on you, wagging fast enough to take flight. “I'm glad to see you in one piece after taming my grandson. It must've been a damn ordeal.”

Yuuji cackled impishly, pointing at Sukuna. “Oooh, burn.” 

“Sorry, who got the omega in the end?” Sukuna quipped back, making Yuuji sprout a grumpy look and cross his arms with a mumbled you suck. 

“Quit the fighting and come in,” Wasuke ushered. “And you,” he snapped, looking at Sukuna with chronic disapproval, “Take off those sunglasses. You're trying too hard. Look like an idiot.”

You stifled your laughter as Sukuna grumbled and plucked his shades off. His very cool, very neat, very fancy, very expensive shades.

Wasuke ushered you all inside, gesturing to the kotatsu prepared with food and drinks and starting off on a grumbling rant about the shitty cold mornings and warm afternoons that came with Spring. Obviously, he'd complained to break the ice, and it worked. 

Small talk turned into easier conversation. Whenever Sukuna seemed to struggle with being cordial, you would lean into him more, squeezing his hand tightly whilst purring under the radar. That worked, too. As much as Sukuna was an asshole, he didn't want the afternoon to fall apart. Better he stay quieter than say something to regret. 

“They've calmed you down,” Wasuke said, snapping Sukuna's mind to attention. It was then that he finally noticed Yuuji had effectively kidnapped little Touka and was giving her a tour of the house like she actually gave a shit. 

“Hm?” He grunted, so eloquent. 

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, leaning into your partner more with a sigh. “Words, not grunts, Sukuna.”

He huffed. “You grunt at me all the damn time.” 

“Not at our elders.” 

“Tch.” Sukuna rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Whaddaya mean they've calmed me down, huh?” 

Wasuke, for once, looked somewhat amused. “Your pup. Your mate. They've made you human.” 

“Ha? You're actin’ like I was some four-armed, two-faced freak or some shit.” 

“Some days you acted like it,” Wasuke scoffed. “Doesn't matter if you agree or not, I can see the change in you, kid–that wild thing inside of you is finally settling down.”

You hummed and looked up at him. “I've noticed, too. You're less pissy. More tolerant. Still annoying, but that's just a personality flaw.” Sukuna growled and nipped at you, but you faced him so very bravely and suffered no such nip. 

“I'm glad for you, kid,” Wasuke interjected, breaking up the petty fight that was about to go down. The two of you looked back to the eldest. “You were a real pain in the ass, and you fucked up a lot along the way, but you made things work out. You should be proud.” 

Sukuna would never be able to put his feelings, the utter rush he felt getting his grandfather's approval, into words. 

“So where does this end, kid?” Wasuke asked. 

“What?” He asked before he could properly think it through. 

“This life. Your ‘profession.’ How long're you gonna keep that up, huh?” 

Sukuna could feel you lean into him more, letting more body weight ease your shared worries about the life you shared and the professions you'd taken up. Both unpredictable. Both in the crosshairs of dangerous beasts.

“You think we'll end up six feet under like mom ‘n dad, that it?” Sukuna rasped. He looped an arm around your waist and squeezed you against his side in reassurance as Wasuke's expression grew gloomier.

“You're more like your mother than you know, kid. You don't–”

“‘Course I don't know,” Sukuna interrupted, firm but not vicious. “Mom was a fucking moron ‘n knocked up whoever the fuck she could to get an in into one of those big-name clans. No shit they'd get pissed off and kill the bitch.” 

Wasuke scowled, but didn't argue. It was hard to when his daughter in-law was in the wrong, when she dug her own grave with every child sired before slipping and falling in on her own. A sad story. An incredibly stupid one, too. 

“That won't happen,” you offered mildly. Sukuna looked down at you, suddenly feeling the urge to shoot another baby into you as you spoke up on your own. “I trust Sukuna as much as I trust myself; he's worked hard to create an untouchable empire, and I have the connections to supplement it.” You glanced up at him. “If it's not Sukuna, then it'll be someone else running Tokyo. I couldn't think of a better king.”

A beat of silence passed before Wasuke asked, “And you, kid?” You afraid? 

Sukuna willed his mind out of R-rated territory to look at his grandfather. “You know me,” he started with a troublesome grin, “I can't stay away from what I want.” 

[peachhcs]

Could we get kinda what we go from “Sammy how she was really that Will was work it” but in this case how Will was also in a dilema because it’s his best friend and it take him time to understand but he is also willing to sacrifice everything because it’s Sammy his best friend the girl he loves.

the 3 times will's confused about his feelings and the 1 time he isn't

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

will's pining after his best friend, but is he really willing to risk their entire friendship for a relationship?

5.9k words

woo second longest fic of the series and i'm finally doing a request! guys if this is bad, i'm so sorry. i got a bit carried away and i don't like the ending but that's fine lol i'm still working through my requests but feel free to send more and i'll get to it at some point :) this also isn't proofread so if you see mistakes my bad i will try and proofread this soon lol

au masterlist

ONE

the first time will's heart skipped a beat against his chest when he wasn't drunk enough to play off any of the feelings trying to make their way to the surface was watching samy's senior send off for her last homecoming. there were probably over 30 families in the small drive trying to take photos together along with couples everywhere navigating their way through the crowds. knowing the last homecoming was a big deal for samy, will convinced gabe and ryan to drive down to see her off knowing she'd really appreciate having them there.

the three stood with ellen, jim, and luke in a small corner of the lot watching the youngest hughes pack herself together with all of her friends for pictures. there was something nostalgic about all of it considering the boys didn't get things like this when all of their focus was on hockey most of the time. even if they denied it, they secretly loved getting to be a part of samy's senior year.

gabe and ryan talked mindlessly with luke and while will stood in their small circle, he definitely was not paying attention to what was being said. instead, his eyes lingered on his best friend. she stood some feet away from them immersed in her own conversation filled with laughter and large smiles with no idea that a pair of eyes couldn't leave her no matter how hard they tried.

for the entire day since they got to samy's house, will's eyes kept finding samy even if she wasn't looking at him. he'd be standing with ryan and gabe and his gaze would just drift away from them to samy whenever she was in the same room as them. even when she was just walking by, will's eyes followed every single move.

he didn't get it. it couldn't be because of her curled hair, sparkly dress, and makeup.

he's seen her dressed up so many times over the summers because their parents would drag them out to eat at a fancy restaurant no matter how many times they said they didn't want to. it happed at least twice in the three months they spent together, so will didn't get why he just couldn't peel his eyes off the girl.

there was another reason and one that the blonde hadn't fully come to terms with yet.

her date was this guy she'd been talking to on and off over the summer. will met him once when he stopped by in august to take samy out for their first date. he seemed fine—soccer player, good grades, a swimmer on occasion. nothing special, but not some jerk at least. samy liked him and that was all that mattered.

what no one knew was that will didn't fall asleep that night until he heard the front door closing and soft footsteps padding up the stairs where samy's bedroom door shut seconds later meaning she made it back safely.

the guy clung to samy's side the entire time taking pictures. his arm was wrapped around her waist at nearly every second like he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go. that gesture, seeing him grip samy's waist like that, had will's chest tightening into knots and his heart skipping a beat. something in him popped open—a feeling. an urge.

a jealousy.

as soon as those thoughts mixed into the blonde's consciousness, his face whitened even more than it was. his jealousy quickly faded into confusion then back to jealousy then back to confusion the back to—

"you okay?" gabe's voice broke will's thoughts. he snapped his gaze towards his friend who already looked at him expectantly. ryan and luke raised their eyebrows, but tried not to act like they were staring at him.

will's jaw immediately loosened and the color in his face quickly returned to normal as if the feelings in his chest moments ago were never there in the first place.

"yeah, why?"

gabe paused. he looked at his friend a bit longer before slowly shaking his head. "no reason. you looked lost there," the dark-haired boy shrugged.

"think i'm just tired," will forced a yawn to make it more believable.

he knew gabe was studying him like he didn't quite believe what he was saying. next to samy, gabe probably knew will the best which meant he knew when the entire truth wasn't being told. feeling a bit flustered, will drew his gaze away from gabe, but unfortunately, it led itself right back to samy and her date hanging off her side.

something inside of will was screaming as the warmth in his skin returned and his jaw unknowingly clenched seeing them so close together. the feelings returned along with the battle in his mind between jealousy and confusion.

was that why he couldn't peel his eyes away from her all day? because of her date being at her side at every single second and staring at her in a way that made will's stomach drop not because he didn't like the way her date was looking at her, but because he wanted to be the one looking at her like that—

"will! get over here!" this time samy's voice broke the boy from his racing thoughts.

she found his gaze, a soft smile on her lips motioning him over. his nerves eased and a smile replaced the confusion on his features as he shuffled towards her. ellen already had her camera out as samy's date (finally) dropped from her side and will took his place.

samy, who was as oblivious as ever, tucked her head into the blonde's shoulder while his arm found the same exact place on her waist. her touch shot a fiery sensation through will as he mustered up his best smile for ellen 's phone.

"you guys look adorable. i'll send these to your mom," ellen beamed before ushering gabe and ryan into the photo as well.

ryan grabbed samy's other side while gabe hooked himself onto will's side. the four of them scrunched together with wide smiles, but all will could think about was samy's hip pressing into his own marking just how close they were and the explosion it sent throughout the boy's body.

"so, so cute, i'm so glad you guys drove down," ellen said and finished taking pictures for now.

the three broke apart, but lingered close by as samy grabbed her phone to check her makeup. "i think you've looked at yourself twenty times in the span of fifteen minutes," ryan laughed.

"shut up, leonard," the brunette eyed him.

"i'm just saying. you look fine. stop worrying," the taller boy said in a more softer tone. samy rolled her eyes before her gaze fell on will, seeking confirmation because she knew he'd be honest with her.

will's poor blush got worse under her stare, "don't listen to leno. you look good."

his words made samy grin, "thanks, i trust you. thanks for coming down. it means a lot." she ruffled up some of his curls that surprisingly weren't hidden by a baseball cap for once.

"yeah, of course. wouldn't miss it for the world, hughesy."

her smile had will's heart skipping a beat for a second time and something in him wanted to make her smile like that all the time.

the reality of everything set back in when samy's date returned to her side and started whisking her away as everyone began leaving. the girl rushed out her goodbyes and thank you's before disappearing into a car.

"you guys are more than welcome to hang around the house for the night if you don't wanna drive back. dinner, too," ellen extended her offer to the three boys hanging around still.

"anything made by mama hughes is an automatic yes," ryan grinned making the others laugh.

"i'm flattered. you can follow us back up to the house," the older woman beamed.

later that night after the boys ate as much as they physically could, gabe found will sitting on the back deck looking blankly ahead. the dark-haired boy shuffled his way towards the edge of the deck using his foot to poke will's back, announcing his presence.

"what are you doing out here by yourself?" gabe wondered. the sun hadn't set yet, but the air was growing cooler as october drifted into november and there wasn't much to look at besides a playground and the family pool.

"just..thinking," will answered.

for a moment, gabe wondered if he should keep prodding because he definitely knew what will was thinking about. he saw it when they stood in the lot watching samy take pictures with everyone. he saw it in will's face when him and samy took pictures together.

"about?" the boy sat on the step above the one will was on.

"just stuff," the vagueness had gabe rolling his eyes.

"about samy?"

sure, the guys teased the two all the time about having feelings for one another, but it was never serious. they were always joking and will knew that which was why he could brush their comments off. this time gabe was being serious and they both knew that. will couldn't push his questions or comments off.

the silence from the blonde told gabe everything he needed to know. he saw right through will.

"seeing her with her date..i don't know. i didn't like it. it felt wrong. i-i think i felt jealous? like..like maybe it should've been me instead?" will hardly ever opened up about his feelings, especially regarding samy, but he knew gabe wouldn't stop asking.

"do you know why you felt jealous?" gabe wondered.

the words were on the tip of will's tongue, yet he couldn't bring himself to say it. those words have bounced around in his head since that stupid truth or dare game where samy kissed him in the bathroom. they were there when they were drunk and made out with one another, yet neither of them talked about it after. they were there when samy was the first person he went to after a game.

it was all there, but will couldn't say it.

"no, i don't."

if he said it, it made the feelings real and in will's mind, they couldn't be real. she was his best friend. that was all she'd ever be.

TWO

no one spoke a word in the locker room after coach's harsh lecture. the loss sunk into everyone's skin, especially since it was their first loss of the season and they were supposed to win this game. no one did anything right which was why they gave up three points to the other team. the buzz of adrenaline that usually danced across every guy was replaced with solemn and disappointment. will felt it extra hard after his coach pulled him aside to give him an extra lecture.

he was one of the team's best, the coach's favorite, the team's favorite, yet he let everyone down giving up those three points.

no one dared speaking to one another as everyone slowly drifted out of the locker room once they were showered and redressed. will hardly moved from his stall, though. his head fell into his hands along with a bitter line of frustration towards himself.

he couldn't step out of the locker room with the knowledge his parents were waiting probably disappointed in him and another harsh lecture to follow. the boy couldn't handle that right now. he needed to focus on breathing before he punched something and got into even more trouble.

a small knock caught his attention. will lifted his head fully expecting his dad, but when he saw samy lingering in the doorway, everything about his demeanor shifted.

"oh will," the brunette frowned seeing his state.

she went to him, hands pulling his own away from his hair and wiping the tears will didn't even know was falling down his cheeks. "ryan and gabe said you were in here still," the girl explained her presence.

"we fucking lost," the boy choked out.

"i know. i know. it sucks," she pulled him into her so she could run her fingers through his hair and massage the spots he pulled at in frustration.

something about her soft touch and soothing voice had more tears spilling out of the boy as he buried his face into her chest.

will was by no means a vulnerable person. he had a hard time being emotional with people, but everything with samy was different. he could cry in her arms for however long he wanted knowing she wouldn't ever judge him and let him cry for as long as he needed.

her gentle fingers wound around his curls which was a stark contrast to the way he roughly pulled at them minutes ago. they just sat there on the bench while will attempted to regather himself so he'd stop crying, but samy hardly minded. she hummed some mindless tune and everything about it had will's head spinning.

those feelings he had a few weeks ago were back and a lot stronger than before. jealousy, want, and need mixed themselves together creating a pretty lethal combination building in the boy's chest, but again, he couldn't understand it.

why, why, why, why, why.

"wanna talk about it at all?" samy wondered after some more silence.

will slowly lifted his head up so he could meet her gaze. he probably looked like hell, but if he did, samy didn't any anything.

"i let everyone down. coach is mad at me and i'm sure my parents are gonna give it to me once i go out there," the blonde frowned a bit making samy frown as well.

"you didn't let people down. you played your heart out. tonight just wasn't your night," samy said softly.

"but we lost a game we should've won. everyone was counting on me to prove that i'm good at his and deserve a spot on a d1 college team," will continued.

"this one loss doesn't mean you're not good enough. you are good enough. a bad game isn't a bad career. i think you're good enough."

i think you're good enough. her words tightened will's chest along with the way she stared at him—so loving and so sure of his abilities.

"you're just saying that because you have to," the boy almost scoffed.

"i'm not, i promise. i've always thought you're good enough, will. you lost a game and that sucks, but it's not a bad career. no one hates you because you did your best," her words warmed the hockey player's heart.

she wrapped her arms around his neck for a tight hug. will's own 'arms tightened around her waist and buried his face into the crook of her neck. if someone walked in who didn't know them, they'd definitely think they were dating just based on the way they were wrapped around each other.

will never wanted to let go, but he knew he had to eventually, so he drew back. samy smiled, placing a gentle kiss to the boy's forehead. she's done it before, but right now it meant a lot more to will than before. the gentleness of her lips had the boy wondering what they'd feel like against his own lips when neither of them were drunk to even really remember what happened the next morning.

"you wanna go out there together?" samy wondered.

the blonde nodded. he collected his things and wrapped his arm tightly around samy's shoulders as they finally faced his parents waiting for him. they spotted them a few feet outside of the locker room and will braced himself for the worst.

will's mom saw her son's state—dreary eyes, teary cheeks, messed up hair—and placed a hand on her husband's arm before he said anything he was planning on saying. colleen knew another lecture wasn't what her son needed nor wanted. she saw samy hanging off his arm knowing she probably calmed him down in the locker room and she hated disrupting the peace samy brought to him in whatever way.

instead, colleen stepped forward to collect will into a hug. "you did your best, yeah?" she whispered into his ear. all will did was nod.

"you wanna join us for dinner, samy?" colleen looked over at the girl.

she was about to decline the offer until she met will's gaze that said something like please stay and she couldn't ever say no to him when he looked at her like that.

"yeah, i'd love to. thank you."

with that, the four piled into the car back to the house. as soon as will got situated in the back seat, he reached for samy. the girl laid herself in her arms and for a second, everything felt okay. the feelings racing through his chest eased while those three words crept up further and further up.

after dinner, will dragged samy to his room to watch a movie while trying to avoid his dad's lecture for as long as he possibly could. they didn't even get 20 minutes in until samy was falling asleep against the boy's chest. it was a pretty regular occurrence, especially over the summer, but right now will was terrified to even move because he didn't wanna wake her up.

he found his phone, clicking into gabe's contact and staring at the chat for a moment before typing something. he stared a his message for a moment, debating on sending it.

if he sent it, his feelings became real. could he actually do that? could he actually admit something that's been plaguing his mind for months now?

what if everything went wrong?

before will could even think about sending it, his phone started buzzing in his hands as grace's contact flashed across the screen. he grabbed his airpods just as his sister's face appeared.

"hi will. i heard about your game," the older smith smiled gently.

"it was a shit show," will whispered.

"it looked like you were playing well though?" grace offered, but the boy only shrugged.

"i don't know. i guess?"

"why are you whispering?" grace wondered quickly making her brother's face flush.

he carefully directed his camera down to where samy could be seen sleeping at his side. the look on grace's face was a mix between surprise and a small smirk because she also knew all too well about her brother's feelings even if he didn't say anything.

"so when are you finally gonna ask her out?" grace teased.

"stop," will rolled his eyes.

"what? i'm not sure cuddling in your bed is something just friends do," the older girl stated.

"or drunk makeouts?" will muttered that part, but grace heard him nonetheless.

"drunk what?" she sounded nearly flabbergasted.

"never mind," the boy shook his head.

"seriously, will. you obviously like her. what other reason is there for feeling jealous of her homecoming date?"

grace stumped him with that one. will's gaze drifted down to the girl still sleeping peacefully beside him. his fingers found a place in her hair and gently wrapped it around his fingers like she had done for him. the blood roared in his ears along with a feeling of warmth spreading all across his chest watching samy sleep so soundly at his side like nothing else mattered.

"what if i'm scared?" will finally said.

"scared? of what?" grace grew confused.

"if i admit how i feel, it makes it real and i'm scared of making it real. she's my best friend, grace. i'm not supposed to feel this way," the blonde's admission had grace's expression softening.

"i think that's all the more reason to feel this way. the most unexpected feelings come from the most unexpected people, will. i doubt she doesn't feel the same way too."

when the siblings ended their call, will went back to him and gabe's chat feeling a bit more sure than he did before grace called. his message still sat in the box waiting to be sent. with one final look at samy, will hit send and he knew everything after this was gonna be as real as it could get.

from will i think i like samy

THREE

a loud buzzing pulled will from his sleep. the boy jolted, bleary eyes trying to adjust to the dark and find the source of the incredibly obnoxious buzzing. his eyes flicked around his room until his phone screen lit up and he finally realized someone was trying to call him.

he grabbed his phone, not even hesitating as he lifted it to his ear and sounds of a party came through on the other end.

"hello?" will rasped out, sleep laced deep in his voice.

"w-will? hey!" marcie's voice came through. the boy raised his eyebrow trying to remember if he ever gave marcie his phone number.

he pulled the phone away to read the screen, but nothing answered his confusion seeing samy's name on the screen. "marcie?" the boy mumbled.

"hi, hey. yes. sorry. i'm sorry for calling so late..i..jesus.." she stumbled over her words and for some reason, that woke will up more when he heard the slight slur in her tone and her fast talking.

"are you okay?" the boy sat up in his bed.

"yes. maybe. so..we're at this party..we're like..30? maybe? minutes from you? samy drank a little too much..and i-i didn't know who else to call? her brothers would've definitely killed her and..and you were like the first person on her emergency contact list. i know it's late..but like..could you come down? please?"

marcie didn't even have to ask twice as will jumped out of bed and got himself dressed as quickly as possible.

"i'm on my way. can you send me your location?" he was out the front door a second later with keys in hand to his car.

"yes, i did. don't freak out, she'll be fine i just..i have no idea where to take her," marcie explained.

"i'll be there as quickly as possible, okay? just keep her awake and make her drink water," will rushed and the two said goodbye after that.

about 100 thoughts ran through will's head all at once as he definitely went over the speed limit. something in him paled at the idea of samy at a party getting too drunk that she couldn't make decisions for herself. he wondered why she didn't invite him? or why she was drinking that much in the first place?

"just breathe, will," the boy muttered to himself before he gave himself a panic attack.

he made it the house in record time probably going the fastest he's ever gone in a car to cut the trip down. marcie and samy were on the front lawn where will rushed to them as soon as the car slid into park.

"hey, you okay?" he hugged marcie first.

"yeah, i'm fine. i'm sorry again. it's so late and i..i don't know why i didn't..i'm sorry," the girl became flustered and embarrassed she even let her friend get so drunk.

"don't apologize. it's not your fault. has she been drinking water?" will gazed down at the brunette on the ground.

"yeah, i've been giving her a little bit."

samy's eyes gazed up at will while a hint of recognition flashed through them before she literally jumped into his arms.

"willie! hey! what are you doing here?" the girl exclaimed as she practically clung onto him.

"came to get you. you doing okay?" will pulled his gaze down to hers.

"mhm, yeah. perfecttt," she dragged out the t.

"i'm glad you're perfect. wanna get in the car?" samy gave him a half nod as him and marcie helped the girl into the back seat. she practically collapsed onto the entire back row with small fits of giggles leaving her lips. 

marcie and will got back into the front. the first five or so minutes of the drive became filled with silence besides the soft hum of the radio and samy's quiet mumbling to herself. will glanced at her through the rearview mirror every five seconds probably—worry etched into his features and the hundred thoughts racing through his mind again. 

"i'm sorry again. i don't know why she got so drunk," marcie broke the silence, her voice small. 

"don't apologize. it's not your fault," will said. his words didn't convince the girl because she just shook her head. 

"i don't really know the details but i think her and kevin stopped talking. she was briefly talking about it with me the other day and then she proposed going to that party i think to get over him.." marcie's voice faded off into the deafening silence in the car. 

kevin was samy's newest guy—the same one she went to homecoming with. they had been talking for quite a long time with an implication of a relationship soon, so will wondered where it went wrong. 

"i don't know if i should be telling you this either, but samy started rambling on about you. it was broken sentences, but she kept saying how it's been you all along, even kevin knew. something like that," the girl's words tightened the blonde's chest into the familiar knots he's become acquainted with over the past few months. 

"oh." 

"i mean come on, will. you guys are so obvious yet so oblivious at the same time. why else do you think she kisses you in the bathroom?" there was something about driving down backroads at almost three in the morning that brought out the most vulnerable in people. 

"i-i don't think that really counts. she's drunk. i'm drunk," will swallowed nervously, his eyes glancing up at samy again. 

"well, yeah, but aren't drunk words, drunk actions sober thoughts? you're always the one she goes to by the end of the night," the two met each other's gazes. marcie had a pointed look on her expression that will tried not to read into too much. 

"i don't know. it still doesn't feel genuine though?" 

"what about the time you guys kissed sober during that truth or dare?" that was the only time him and samy were sober and kissing. will thought about that moment a lot. 

another silence filled between them. the boy's glance landed on samy who was close to sleep and everything marcie just said replayed over and over in his mind. there was a tug at his heart thinking about samy having him as her first emergency contact and another tug at the smallest idea that she might actually like him back. 

"you like her, right?" marcie spoke again. will's gazed flick over to hers momentarily. 

"yeah," the boy whispered knowing samy was too out of it to understand what they were talking about. 

"i know your scared about ruining everything with her if you did date, but i know you guys care a lot about each other to ever think about hurting one another. when i first met you last year i immediately saw your relationship. i saw the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you. i don't think i've ever seen a guy care that much about her before and that's coming from someone who's been her friend since middle school. you mean a lot to her, will. like a lot," marcie rambled on, but her words had a deep blush spreading across the boy's cheeks. 

will led marcie to the guest room while he sat samy down on the couch. he wanted to sober her up before he let her go to bed knowing she'd have a killer hangover in the morning and he feared she'd throw up in her sleep. 

"thanks for calling me, mar. i'll make sure she'll be okay," will said before the girl went to bed. 

a soft smile appeared on her lips, "i know you will. thanks for coming and getting us. i hope your parents won't hate you." 

"they won't. i'll explain everything and make sure you guys won't get in trouble," the two exchanged warm smiles. 

will returned his attention to the girl on the couch. he grabbed water, a snack, and tylenol in hopes that it will sober her up some more. samy gazed up at him as he came back into the living room, a smile on her lips. 

"aww, you're so sweet willie. i love cheez-its," the brunette hummed. 

"i know you do," the boy chuckled. he poured a few into a bowl, not wanting samy to overeat and make herself sick. 

"you should've been at the party. it was sooo much fun," the girl gushed. 

"it looks like you had fun." 

"i dumped kevin," her bluntness caught will of guard. he's never been around her when she was this drunk and was quickly learning that samy said anything on her mind. 

"i heard," the boy hummed. 

"i didn't really like him that much anyway. he kept arguing with me about stupid stuff. he thinks you like me! isn't that hilarious?" soft laughter tumbled from the girl's lips, but will wasn't laughing. the only thing he could hear was his pounding heart beating a bruise against his chest. 

"i started thinking about it a lot, actually. maybe it's part of the reason why i broke up with him. i don't really know. dating your best friend? that seems scary to me," she kept rambling and will had no idea what to say. 

he wanted to confess everything to her, but he knew she definitely wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, so how true was it really? it brought will back to all of the times they woke up the morning after drunkenly making out, but samy never said anything about it. they just acted like nothing happened. 

"yeah, it does seem scary," the blonde managed.

"i mean would you date me? i'm saying all of this and i don't even know if you like me," the girl laughed again. 

will's heart clenched, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything, "how are you feeling? it's getting late. maybe you should try and sleep?" 

"you're right. i'm exhausted and i'm gonna feel like shit in the morning," samy mumbled. 

"is sleeping in grace's room okay?" will collected her things, extending his hand out to help her up the stairs. 

"mhmm, sounds perfect." 

the two tiptoed up the stairs to the older smith's bedroom. will helped take samy's shoes off and he attempted to wipe some of her makeup off before laying her down. the girl smiled lazily at him. 

"thanks for taking care of me, willie. you mean a lot to me." 

"of course. i'll see you in the morning," the blonde returned her smile, but as soon as he faced away from her, it faded. 

once the bedroom door was shut, will leaned himself against it to just recollect himself with the ache in his heart that samy wouldn't remember anything about tonight. hell, marcie's words were probably just drunk rambling. 

THE 1 TIME

goosebumps ran up will's skin when a delicate hand ran across his arm, pulling the blonde from the book he was reading. he lifted his head, a soft smile appearing on his lips seeing samy peering down at him. "hi," will said. 

"hi, pretty boy," samy returned his soft smile with one her own. hearing that pet name roll off her tongue directed at him was something will would never get used to. even though they've only been together for a month, he'd nevr get tired of hearing it. 

"what's up?" the blonde wondered as he reached his hand up to run across samy's skin. 

"just wanted to come say hi. you looked so cozy up here," the girl giggled. 

"wanna sit?" will offered the tiny space next to him. samy swung her legs over, basically landing in his lap because the seat was definitely not made for two people—or a 6'0 hockey player and his girlfriend. 

"how was golfing with jack, quinn, and luke?" the guys went out early to get a game in and samy did not like golf that much to get up as early as they did. 

"it was fun. i think luke killed all of us, but i think gabe and ryan had fun," the blonde laughed. he caught sight of his teammates down in the yard trying to play volleyball. 

"i swear, my brothers' profession would be golfing if it weren't for hockey," the girl giggled which was like music to will's ears. 

"you should come next time. i think you could definitely beat luke," will lovingly squeezed part of her leg that rested atop his lap. 

"are you just saying that because you want to see me in a skirt?" samy teased a bit which caused will to blush a deep crimson all the way to the tips of his ears. 

"shut up. that's not what i was implying," he playfully rolled his eyes. 

"i know, i'm just kidding. my brothers are way better at golf than i am, so i definitely could not beat any of them." 

a comfortable silence settled between the couple. will's gaze lingered on samy who glanced at her phone, so she missed her boyfriend's loving stare until she looked back up and flushed when he was already looking at her. 

"when do you leave for boston?" she changed the subject for now. 

"august 12th," will answered with a hint of sadness laced in his voice. the idea of leaving hurt will a lot more than he thought it would. especially after finally getting the girl. 

sure, he'd have all of his teammates following him, but the one person he wanted to always be around wasn't coming. 

"three weeks away?" samy wondered and the boy nodded. 

"i can't believe it's already here," will mumbled earning a tiny frown from the brunette. 

"you're gonna do so awesome at boston, will. i'm really proud of you." 

samy shifted so she could wrap her arms around his neck. he buried his face into the crook her neck, placing soft kisses against her skin. "i wish you were coming with me," he mumbled. 

"me too. i wish we got our act together and got together a lot sooner. maybe if i wasn't so afraid of my feelings and kept pushing them away," samy rolled her eyes, but will pulled back. he raised his eyebrow in confusion. 

"wait, how long have you known about your feelings?" 

samy's face flushed, "well..i kept pushing them away every time we drunkenly made out at parties. i don't know. prom i knew i had feelings, but i was scared and stupid." 

"so you did remember the next morning after the party," will chuckled in mostly amusement. 

"uh, yeah. i did. i never said anything because i just..i don't know. i didn't know how you felt. i didn't wanna make it weird and we had a thing going," she shrugged a bit.

"it wasn't obvious to you how i felt after?" will smiled a bit with a small tilt of his head. 

"looking back, yeah it was obvious. i was stupid," the girl flushed again. 

all will could do was laugh and pull samy closer to his chest where he never wanted to let go. everything they went through was worth it in the end to finally have the girl will's always had feelings for. for once in life, he was finally sure about something besides hockey. 

hockey's been a constant and he was too dumb to realize he had another one right in front of his face all along. 

as the hot summer sun danced between the clouds, will had everything he could ever need. samy laid against his chest and what was better than having his favorite girl beside him all the time now? he truly couldn't ask for anything more. 

[rux363]

"He was, unfortunately, very handsome."

This one's a real interesting prompt because I overthink this a lil too much - but here’s what I have for this year's KaiShin One Prompt Challenge!

Please do check out how everyone has gone about with the prompt at @dcmkkaishinevents! And once again, thank you mac for organising it!

Thoughts on it under the cut!

Right. Okay. I really struggled with this one. Not only in terms of time constrains (it's been a really busy time) but also because the prompt is reaallllly interesting. Like super interesting that I just jumped onto to join the event because I wanted to challenge myself (been in a slump lately and this prompt was screaming at me) and I was latching on real hard to something here:

Shinichi and Kaito look alike. So alike that Kaito has gotten mistaken as Shinichi before, and he has used it to his advantage too.

How do I use the prompt, while also remembering that they would look the same? I thought about going the crack route, as seen below:

Kaito: He is, unfortunately, very handsome ??: ... don't you guys look exactly the same? [Narcissist much?] K: oh. Right

But I wasn't up for it. I tried thinking about the idea of one of them looking like an absolute dork (affectionately), and then the line - but it kept feeling wrong to me, because I feel like that would be attractiveness. Handsome is too much of a physical word for me.

As Faith (@indelibleme) says, "this prompt is more for the "damn he's hot" type of vibe lol" - which is absolutely true.

So it's something about the physical appearance. Or at least that's what I want to focus on. But they look the same. (Kinda. You get the idea)

And then, it hit me. What if we make it so that Kaito likes Shinichi - everything from his intelligence to his appearance, and it's not because he looks like Kaito - he doesn't feel attracted to himself duh - but it's because it's how Shinichi looks. Kaito just happens to look like him. And is pining after him in the mirror.

Like. Does that even make sense? Probably. I don't know And right after that thought, I had that image of Kaito looking at the mirror and seeing Shinichi.

AND THEN THAT ONE FIC THAT POPPED UP IN MY HEAD KEPT REVOLVING IN MY HEAD WHENEVER I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE IT IS ABSOLUTELY NAILING IT I JUST HAD TO HUNT IT DOWN AGAIN yea. Here's the link to it: the only victim of these innocent crimes (is me) by dytabytes - it's an explicit fic so 18+ only and please read the tags and summary. I guess this drawing is an ode to that fic because when I went back to reread it, the premise really hit all the right spots.

Anyways, again, Kaito and Shinichi has their similarities, and they also have differences. This is just one route I went and m quite happy with what I have.

There was going to be an exposition and conclusion that used the prompt more explicitly, featuring the crack portion, before what I have - but time and energy. I am lacking of them.

If you have read uptil here - seriously thank you and have a good day/night/whatever time is a social construct haha

[shaunashipman]

Eddie was definitely more queercoded than Buck. He is written as a repressed gay man in comphet relationships. Buck's queercoding mostly consisted of one-off jokes while Eddie's has been baked into all of his romantic storylines. Also no one is saying he's gay because he treats women poorly. The reason he inadvertently hurts his partners is because he is trying to force himself into relationships that will never work. Calling that homophobic is laughable because so many gay men have dated women as beards which obviously ends up hurting the women. It's just a fact. It's honestly homophobic the way so many bucktommy shippers are obsessed with eddie being straight even when a multitude of gay people see themselves in him. Or does the gay male perspective only matter when in concerns tommy lol

ok, I wasn't even going to get into this. idc if you see eddie is queer, that's your prerogative. but you brought this into my inbox.

to start with, there are plenty of bucktommy shippers who also think eddie is gay. and the ones who don't are not obsessed with eddie being straight, we're just tired of it being touted as the only possible reading and if you don't get that then you're stupid. kind of like how they are with buddie

also buck's queercoding has not been one-off jokes, y'all just seem to think that queercoding that isn't angsty is being played for jokes.

but let's get into the queercoding of eddie

"baked into all his romantic storylines" all 3 of them? that gigantic number? let's go through them.

shannon. yes, only married because they got pregnant. but they got pregnant through having sex, which eddie was shown, multiple times, to enjoy having with shannon, a woman. she left him (not going deeply into her reasons, I've talked about what I think of shannn and her leaving) and eddie's response was to devote himself to being a father, then moved across country to the same place she was, implicitly because he wanted to make up with her, but couldn't work up the courage until forced. when he did contact her, his initial refusal to let her see chris was both because he didn't yet trust her again with chris and because he didn't trust her with himself. while deciding whether or not to let her see chris, they were fucking like bunnies. again, that eddie was shown very much to enjoy, to the point that it is explicitly something he fantasized about in s7. after he let her see chris again, we didn't see as much of them, but what we did see was the actions of a normal couple. then she said she thought she was pregnant and he re-proposed. could it be that eddie simply felt trapped again? sure. but if that were the case he could have simply not began a relationship with her again to start with. he had the excuse ready baked in of "we need to focus on chris". then she turned out not to be pregnant, asked for a divorce and died, and he's spent the last 5-15 years mourning and pining for her.

ana. initially met as a teacher at chris' school who eddie had an immediate crush on. didn't go anywhere that season because she was chris' teacher. when they met again eddie's only hesitance to date her was framed as trauma from shannon divorcing him and dying. then we get to s5 and his panic attack. which most took as being about the "ready-made family". I took as, the shop worker called ana chris' mom, chris' mom died, ana could die, cue panic attack. the only part of this relationship that I can remotely see as being indicative of sexual repression is how the break up went, which could also just be a result of his slow breakdown which had already been cooking for several months.

marisol. who eddie perused after he got out of the date his tía set up, talked to some people and decided he was ready to date again. then we didn't really see them again until the nun episode. also the point where so many ignored the majority of the ep just because eddie was talking about religion. also basically the only time religion has come up for eddie in more than passing, despite religious repression supposedly playing a large role in his queercoding. again, a relationship where eddie is shown to enthusiastically enjoy sex with women. his sudden hesitance to have sex with marisol was completely about her having been a nun, which if anything is about the madonna/whore complex, not about eddie's sexuality. and then eddie fucks up the relationship due to the shannon!doppler, because he's still in love with shannon NOT because he's closeted.

so where is the plethora of queercoding in all his relationships? and if all his relationships are comphet, but he's never shown an attraction to men (and he hasn't, not objectively, because him "looking" at buck is not attraction) why is him being gay the only option? what about asexual? or aromantic? or even bisexual, since as I've pointed out, he clearly enjoys sex with women.

also his poor treatment of the women he dates can very easily be traced to him growing up in a very patriarchal household, where dad works to the detriment of not knowing his kids, mom's job is to take care of the kids, and he as the only boy was delegated to the "man of the house" at a very young age. an extremely common family dynamic, and one that despite working on in other aspects, eddie clearly still ascribes to in some way, by how he's continuously looking for a wife and a mother, not a partner. could be that he's gay, could be that he was raised in a misogynistic world.

If you see him as gay, great, good for you. but to insist that that's the only correct view is wrong. and since you ended with an "lol" showing how seriously you take this, I'm gonna end with this

ryan, the one who plays eddie, has said multiple times now that eddie is heterosexual. and before you start, oliver at no point ever referred to buck as straight before the bisexual arc so 🤷‍♀️

[uchihaharlot]

Hey there! Love your work and if you're still doing requests, I've got one for ya: a hot, sexy threesome between a female reader, Itachi (loooove him) and Shisui. I'm imagining a competition angle where they've both been pining after the same girl for a while and she likes them both too, but can't choose (and I mean, who could, right? Lol). Eventually, someone (probably Shisui based on my own interpretations of his personality) decides that choosing sucks and sharing is caring, leading to super hot sex 🔥

Ooooo deary,

You speak right to my soul. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fantasized being the center of an Uchiha pissing contest. I’ve always felt that love is kind; love is free and love is patient.I’m hikjackjng your request a bit, I’ve had a draft for several months. There is no real competition here, but extremely hot solicited sex and yes. You are correct, Shisui is one hundred percent the purveyor of pleasure.

It will be soo worth it though; there is a second part to this — written by @shisuis-left-nipple, my draft is also beta’d by her as well — thank you my little Shisui harlot. I dream nothing more of being an Uchiha sandwich on a daily basis.

I’ll forefront this by saying there is mentioning of Shiita. Nothing overtly intimate between the two, but it’s undeniably there and at the back burner. Though you are the main focus of this event, I do apologize to the people who haven’t eaten the forbidden fruit.

NSFW; all out Uchiha fuckfest; overstimulation; multiple climaxes; fucked stupid; mild Shiita.

Yea I thought about this for a while. How did you even get in this situation? Probably met at the spring festival and all.

Since, in my au head canon, they foiled the coup. Shisui lives, Itachi rules the coop. Feel free to ask me about exactly what happened — there is so, so much in my one brain cell.

Itachi is now clan leader these days. Shisui is his right-hand man. They've grown out of that phase of just the two of them. I know it's not everyone's cup, but they definitely fucked and now that they're adults and have clan responsibilities, growing out of that phase.… though sometimes they share a girl here or there.

So, here you are at the festival. Looking so gorgeous it's damn near criminal. The spring festival is held in the Uchiha district this year — Shisui called it reclamation day. As part of the planning committee sent by the Godaime, you get to enjoy all the hard work you put into decorating their little corner of the world and Shisui is grateful.

I mean really grateful, his cock thanks you too. Your guys’ budding romance starts out slow.… lol, ya whatever that means in Shisui’s head.

Shisui is the extrovert while Itachi is still a bit shy and reserved. (This might get confusing because Izumi obviously hadn't died, but let's just say well.... I think most of the Uchiha believe in free love. At least the younger progressive ones. It keeps the curse of hatred at bay and sex is free. Love is kind).

Who in their right mind wasn't fucking one another in that gorgeous clan of men?

Everyone was.

This event really turned out, ‘the Uchiha are eternally indebted to you for your hard work' says Shisui. He's the charmer — the concierge of bedroom antics. The proprietor for drawing the women into the sheets.

It doesn't take Shisui long to make fucking shit out of you a habit, upheaving your feels and all. Just casually, no big deal. Starts asking questions after a hot session, of course he came to you during lunch. When he has a craving, the man is insatiable. You mention a few taboo things, maybe binding, nothing too extravagant or out of the ordinary. But he is calculating — ever the entrepreneur, ‘how can I give this girl the most beautiful experience of her life?’ He thinks.

Shisui drops the threesome paper bomb in your lap and you’re like — ‘uhhh….yea, sure. Why not but, with…who?’

‘Well Itachi, of course.’ Just so damn casual like it was a regular Tuesday and he hadn’t spent the last half hour rearranging your guts.

Cue blank screen syndrome, ‘what?’ As if waiting for the room to read itself, ‘is this….something you guys do….regularly?’

‘Yea, sometimes. Just so happened to tell him about this woman who has me in a chokehold. Stealing my soul and that her beauty makes the sun ashamed to shine.’ That sort of Casanova type shit, sick as cancer. Shisui was undoubtedly winning this match.

It serves your desire on a silver kunai. The wet mixture the two of you had created rehydrates and Shisui takes the opportunity to fuck you again, slower — deeper. Asking if you’re interested mid stroke, whispering filth in your ear as you start to come undone. Sexual coercion at its finest. You’re so aroused at the thought of this situation you come hard when he mentions some quip about being a double stuffed bento box.

The good, good Itachi is so prim and proper. He hosts a mini dinner, and you’re sort of sweating, uncertainty beckons you. What the hell is going on here…..it’s mildly unsettling at first, but Itachi refuses to fuck a woman he doesn’t know a little bit about. You all three enjoy Itachi’s over the top meal and the conversation flows. The awkwardness melts away and it isn’t long before Shisui takes off leaving you two alone.

Itachi takes you out to sit on the enagwa for tea. He is such a gentleman to consider you this way. While Shisui preps their sanctum, Itachi’s lips make his first impression, and boy it's hot. Not that Shisui wasn’t the connoisseur of making out himself, but Itachi’s kiss is gentle — light. Soft as petals that feather and cradle yours, making you embarrassingly breathless almost immediately. He wants to make sure you're comfortable with this whole situation and Shisui always finds his chivalry adorable, but you can't talk Itachi out of it. He has to do this. It sets the mood and also lowers any preemptive warnings that you might have, since this is already a new thing for you, there won't be any silly toys. Just pure unadulterated pleasure and free love. Once you spend about a half hour lip locked with Itachi, he's going to lead you around the house. Takes you to a room on the back side that’s dimly lit. Starts kissing you in the room behind closed doors when a small gust of wind comes at your back — Shisui. Always one to make an appearance.

Another set of strong hands are at your back. While one wraps around you from the front, the other from the back. Your senses are already in overdrive, Shisui is the impatient one while Itachi likes to draw things out. Shisui hungrily kisses down your neck and Itachi is just swallowing every soft sigh from your lips. Shisui's hands lift at your shirt, and you thought this through. Some cute lacy see through bra that catches Itachi off guard. Has his sights zeroing in, seemingly devouring you through the material.

Shisui wants the bra off, but Itachi has to remind him who the boss is — using that big ‘fuck you’ energy out of nowhere. Shisui just rolls his eyes, a small glint of the sharingan in an exaggerated attempt to look annoyed but not really — fine, so be it. Itachi can have his portion of you but, either way, a candle can burn from both ends if it's double wicked and there is so much of you to explore, top to bottom.

Shisui kisses down your back as it arches, his hands resting on either hip when he crouches. Itachi is nipping and rolling your nipples through the lacy bra. He absolutely loves the temptation of it and maybe even stole a glance through red spun pearls for later review — yep just know that they are going to be recording this for their own personal collection. (Let's touch on the sharingan for a second, I truly believe that it's emotionally charged. If something feels good, it's out in the open. Big bad and red, like an eye erection or some shit lol. Spinning wildly absorbing collective imagery to database — consider it similar to how pupils dilate when it sees something it likes).

Shisui's already got your pants down. He's so hard, Itachi's exceedingly hard too but he takes forever, so Shisui just starts undressing him too because what are friends for? Everyone needs a little help from their friends. You couldn't be really sure, but you’re positive that Shisui may or may not have kissed the tip of Itachi's cock and licked the excitement off, but all you really could hear was his laugh.

Your pants are shucked and tossed aside, Shisui's got you lifting each leg over his shoulder, he's buzzing and wants to start making you moan. Itachi is just following along for now as long as Shisui doesn’t touch his portion of you. Suddenly, you’re slightly lifted up. Looking down you see Shisui sitting on the ground, his arms holding you up. That shit eating grin filling his face as he peers up at you. Then Shisui’s face at your sex inhaling and exhaling hot and breathy, you sit on his shoulders while he holds you at your lower back. Itachi laughs at the audacity of that man, but he knows how insatiable Shisui is. He wants you dripping down his face, chest and eventually his cock.

Itachi finally removes your bra. The sensations are tantalizing — you got one that's slow and sweet and the other that's too fast for his own good. Shunshin no Shisui never could live life in the slow lane. So just like his namesake you're already one and now a second orgasm deep on his mouth. Your hands, well you didn't know what to do with them. ltachi guided one to his shoulder and the other to rake in Shisui's hair, which instantaneously made Shisui groan on your sopping mound, his nose rubbing in the cleft of your heat and his tongue rolling over that deliriously sensitive patch of nerve within your sweet seam. Prodding you, drinking you in and leaving you full-mouthed whimpering.

Once you've been properly worked in, Shisui stands, leaving you at his mercy high in the air. You yelp and cling to him, so this was the actual strength of a renowned shinobi. He lays you so gentle and sweet like on the bed. And yes this time, you saw what you saw, Itachi languidly strokes Shisui's cock before your eyes and you're like what in tarnation — but it was hot because Shisui bit his lip and looked at you like James Dean with big puppy dog reds. They would tease one another here and there and it would absolutely fan the flame between your legs.

Shisui goes over the many ways this could go down and you're like...

‘I'm just here for the ride. Two against one, does it really matter what I want?’ And they both laugh; how adorable because yea, you're right. They're doing it the way they want and Shisui grabs a few things. Lube, leg spacers etc. but you're like ‘uuhhh leg spacers??’ That's when you end up on top of him turned around, your back to his chest and your legs hung over his knees.

All for your consideration and comfort, he's not one to take liberties, not yet. You’re spread open like the world's finest charcuterie board. Itachi's eyes populate and spin red. 'Gorgeous.’ Cause you are, not a damn thing wrong with you, especially from this perspective.

Shisui's hot breath is at your neck, kissing you all over. Not an inch of skin that his lips could reach is untouched. Neck, ears, shoulders — nipping the space between your shoulder blades. Really a pleasure king for you.

Itachi, this man, may not look like much to the naked eye, but he's that and more. So much more, kneels between your legs and just devours you. Like a fucking goddamn goddess, his lips make praise to your sopping cunt. That damned nose, rubbing it all up in your clit while his tongue is gently teasing your slick. You've never had someone be so attentive to you, and while you're distracted in pre orgasm build up, Shisui is administering a severe amount of lube to Itachi's hand. A grand distraction to addle your mind a bit more.

You've already left your consciousness in the sixth dimension and your soul in the 9th circle to hell. What's something a little deeper? As you climax for maybe the sixth time now this evening, Itachi's slim fingers prod at your uncharted asshole. Oh dear. You've not ever experienced ass play. This is unfortunate but also exciting. You moan treasonously and can *feel* Shisui smirking as he kisses and nips at your back. One of his hands splayed across your stomach. Pressing as you climax hard. Itachi wasn't rough, but he wasn't sincere about knocking on the back door.

‘My apologies' Itachi says when you chirp a little bit over it. Gentlemanly as he is, he's ravenous now. And you can't really be sure, but there is more squelches and a brief motion outside your visual perception.

Shisui says some shit like, ‘breathe for me baby’ through bated breath and next thing you know. Itachi's lubed up Shisui's lovely fat cock and is attempting to breach your second entrance. Oh, mama Kaguya! You were a bit selfish when it came to relinquishing control and Shisui offers you some advice, 'look at me gorgeous.'

It’s in this moment you fully understood what Shisui meant about being a double stuffed bento box, he's only sunk about four inches of his cock in your ass and it's not entirely unpleasant, but new. Your neck is craned in a searing kiss with Shisui, him rocking his hips gently until you're comfortable. Itachi toying with your clit to acquiesce the intrusion. Only when Itachi’s mouth sucks on your bud does it then feel really good.

The intake of air to your lungs as an entirely different type of roaring climax, in a whole new group of muscles, doesn't seem to fill you with enough air to accommodate the salacious inconsolable loud moan that escapes your lips. Shisui gently pioneering slow purposed full-length thrusts into a hole that was once too tight for two fingers.

After that, all he has to do is sit pretty. Itachi takes over after you have a few more orgasms, like what, 9 or 10 now total? If you tried to count, just give up. You're done physically, mentally and emotionally at this point. You've left your soul in their vision for it to never be returned. Completely dominated and owned.

But they're Uchiha. They know the effect they have on people. Itachi puts his hair up a little tighter in a bun. Such a cutie, he slowly strokes himself watching as Shisui has his round. Then the room goes still, all you can hear is Shisui's heavy breathing in your ear, as he’s had to hold back quite a bit. You're so taut around him, he almost busted a nut and unfortunately for him, the second Itachi stretches your weeping and already swelling cunt, Shisui does cum — poor bastard. But his best friend makes sure to angle his slow strokes downwards so that way he gets a little bit of friction and as a double whammy the mere feeling of Shisui pulsating and coming inside of you is like an intermittent vibrator, so you climax, full force. Resting your head on Shisui’s shoulder, he kisses your cheek as your eyes roll shut, and you babble like a cute idiot.

So here you are, hot sweaty and now gagged on Shisui’s fingers as he shoves them in your mouth. Shisui didn't necessarily go soft, the overstimulation of you pulsing and continually on edge keeps a lovely semi at his disposal. Itachi's got your arms wrapped up and set behind Shisui's head, his lips tease at your nipples. He is the slow and steady sensual man. You moan, Shisui moans. Everyone is moaning, it's a cacophony of gasps and sighs. Itachi's is just enjoying being the one in charge of you both, then Shisui starts hitting you with some katon heated dirty talk.

'Such a good girl.’

‘You're choking my cock so well.’

'Another one already?'

Just hot talk and even a bit of teasing. Since he's like buckled down for the ride now, he just gets to experience all the pleasure without much work, but he does make sure to suck at your neck, leaving a few marks on your back too. He's considering that maybe you're the girl for him. With his best friend's approval of course, this is just like a clan initiation at this point. Itachi would let you marry Shisui if he really hard pressed him enough, but Shisui feels deeply, this type of connection only comes once in a life and out of the myriad of females they've shared (which isn't many to be honest) you're this Pandora's box that has so many different things about you he already loves.

Someone is falling hard.

Itachi is of course enthralled with your breasts, they're perky, beautiful and each nipple is gently switched between his lips, pert and sensitive. Though he would turn up the heat and use a little bit of that Uchiha fire to warm them up, only to change the sensation and make you writhe. Slowly pumping himself into you, calls you ‘princess,’ of all things. So old school, Itachi started out quiet but when Shisui is kissing one side of your neck, Itachi is sucking and nipping at the other. All timed of course; right as you orgasm again. Always some sort of over stimulation going on and — hey wait a minute! When did Shisui start playing with your clit? You don't know and don't care because this next orgasm was the most intense yet.

And you squirted all over Itachi's cock, raining down on Shisui's, he couldn't help but start to move his hips a little. The contrasting thrusts sending you even further spiraling.

'Are you ok y/n?' A playful jab at your wavering consciousness by Shisui in a deep raspy whisper. You're catatonic.

An Uchiha flesh-light now. Thank the gods you're on the pill. Just the smell of their musk, power of the gods and that smokey katon heat would one hundred percent have you ending up pregnant and Itachi has big people issues right now, he can't have a kid just yet. You might even just become the wife to both of them. Though Shisui is greedy, possessive with what's his. Itachi has Izumi, but that doesn't mean you couldn’t take part in their secret swingers group.

Here you lie between them, filled up tight to the brim. Shisui has definitely cum at minimum three times, his seed seeping out your little bottom hole. Itachi isn't really that much into multiple, he enjoys perpetually edging the hell out of himself and right when he is about to cum, he slips out. Let's Shisui pound you a few good times and thank gods you have a clean booty hole. Itachi slips him out of his new claimed territory and by gods, there is that lovely Shisui cock filling your warm worn-out cunt. So thick and creamy with his seed, just slips into your tight seam. Slowly thrusting into you, he peppers kisses down your left cheek as Itachi takes a breather. Whispering how much you mean to him, so precious and his. Somewhere down the blurred vision to keep your eyes focused, Shisui is comfortably situated back as your butt plug. Time has escaped you, it all just cascades quickly.

Itachi lifts both your legs under Shisui’s *arms*, oof. Spreading you further, nearly to your ears. Folded like a lawn chair, a personal favorite to both. Shisui locks his hands over your sternum and holy hell this man is strong. You moan when Itachi slips back into your tired cunt. You're still so snug and wet though, the two of them each swing their hips in tandem; you weren't expecting this. All that heavy breathing, encouragement from Shisui and maybe a few a 'good girl’ from Itachi here or there. You're stretched to the limit. Can feel their cocks rubbing against one another through that thin layer of skin that separates your two channels.

Shisui's the first one to bust… again, lucky guy. He's had about five maybe? And Itachi reams his slender hand around your neck. You're so far spent; incapable of an orgasm, beyond belief overstimulated to the point that you're not sure if it's pleasant or not anymore. But it's hot, Shisui biting your shoulder, Itachi's grip tightens a little. He's a bit perturbed you've reached your limit before he could cum, so yea.

Tsukuyomi induced orgasm for you, honey.

Red spun pearls lull and bend your subconscious, all he says in the echo chamber is 'cum.’ Much to your surprise, you do, several times more. All over him as he deposits the hottest load of baby gravy into your cunt, making sure to fuck it in you. Tapping it against your cervix like it was some sort of keg tap. Just knock knock knock genetic coding at your womb. But he apologizes for getting so aggressive once he drops that mild soporific genjutsu and Shisui is trying to not snicker at your disheveled face.

Now honey, you've had a rough night. Let's talk some after care. Lots more kissing, worshipping your amazing body for all the shit it's just been through. Wrapped up like a cocoon and carried off into the main portion of the house.

What do you want? Tea? A movie? A bath?

You can bathe with both of them. Or alone. Whoever you choose. They are definitely going to make sure you are treated with the utmost care and adoration the Uchiha have to offer.

Do you need your leg muscles rubbed? They did go numb at some point. So, you have your bath, Shisui is there while Itachi makes tea. Shisui is such a gentleman though, washing your back. Asking if you want to wash your special areas yourself, he feels like maybe they just violated you, but you laugh out loud at and kiss him softly. 'I got exactly what I asked for.’

And he smiles the full length of his mouth. Such a handsome guy, the bath is rather quick. Itachi's readied the tea, and you can have your own room for the night, but like... ‘what if we all just cuddled and slept in the same bed.' You speak.

‘Hot damn, yes that too,’ Shisui quips. You're like a loaded canon and he is absolutely pulling the trigger finger on that.

Itachi nods and smiles, ‘ok.’

So, you have your tea, maybe even watch a movie but girl you are dead on your ass. You pass out within the first twenty minutes, Shisui finishes your tea and carries you to bed. Gently stationed between them, you just sleep so peacefully and serene.

Yep, and then when the morning comes, it's breakfast time.

[bonefall]

What are your thoughts on Crowfeather's Trial? I already know how you feel about my other least favorite super editions so I'm curious about your opinions on this one lol

I think at best it's just okay. Like...it feels like they're going "see!! We're holding him accountable!!" But then they just kinda...dont?? Like I didn't feel any differently about Crowfeather by the end than I did when I started. There's parts I like about it but overall it just fell flat for me

Like how am I supposed to like this guy when he's just constantly a dick?? he can't stand Harespring for some reason, there's a moment where he's like "I wish my son was dead" and when Nightcloud goes missing he barely gives a damn and doesn't bother to even try and look for her

Anyways I'll forever be mad that they gave this guy a whole super edition and he'll probably have the most dramatic death ever while Leafpool suffered her entire life (and afterlife) and got killed off screen. Hoping he gets jumped by rats and dies from infection

I'm not a big fan of it. It's one of the better written SEs and has a clear goal in mind, but every time I have to encounter it, it feels like it's sidelining the characters who actually deserve to be explored in favor of Crowfeather Sadboy Whinging.

Breezepelt has 12 books detailing how being mistreated by Crowfeather is making him worse, and showing that social alienation is pushing him towards the Dark Forest. Nightcloud was demonized by the old team even though they wrote Crowfeather deflecting all the blame of Breeze's behavior onto her, giving the new team a great opportunity to correct the mistakes of the old writers... and they decided to focus on Crowfeather instead.

And, mind you, they conveniently leave out massive details about how BADLY Crowfeather was abusing his child.

There's this one part of the book where he learns that Breezepelt broke his leg as a kid and he feels like shit for not remembering it, and it's supposed to be a big moment where Crowfeather realizes he was apathetic and careless. But he WASN'T just apathetic and careless. We see him TEACHING his child xenophobia in order to mock and offend Leafpool, smacking Breezepaw around for being 'rude' (the way Crowf always is), and screeching at him for having basic needs like hunger or rest.

Crowfeather WASN'T just a sad, sad boy who didn't pay attention to his kid because he was too busy pining over Dead Wife. What he did to Breezepelt wasn't just neglect; it was physical and emotional abuse.

The book DOES ultimately hold him responsible for how Breezepelt turned out, yes. But it doesn't properly focus on WHAT made Breeze come out the way he did. It wasn't genes, it wasn't Daddy Not Smile At Me. I can only assume the reason why they didn't address how ghoulish Crowfeather actually was is because they knew that being honest and direct about him abusing his child would make him unsympathetic.

Which is a problem, because, y'know, you can just make it Breezepelt's Trial and NOT have to thread that needle??

And furthermore... the book is trying to show Crowfeather addressing that he's kind of an asshole and moving on from it, earning deputyship as a reward for his growth, but what the book really demonstrates to me is that Crowfeather is a dickhead who actually shouldn't have ANY power at all. I don't understand why people would trust him or want him as their leader. I don't see any reason to think that he would be responsible with the lives of an entire Clan of people.

Before I hear clown shoes; if you think that means I "just don't like" that he would be an ""interesting leader,"" pile yourself back into the car with your 30 other jesters and drive away. I mean that it feels completely wrong that any character in-universe would look at the person who exists in Crowfeather's Trial, and say, "this is a person who would help me effectively rule."

What he does, all-book-long, is show that he's an emotionally unstable loose canon borderline incapable of self-reflection. Other characters have to directly tell him "you should try being less of an asshole" and "maybe be nice to your family sometimes?" while he comes up with bullshit reasons to seethe at every character who wanders into his line of sight.

I massively resent the fact that even Leafpool has to mommy his baby ass towards the end of the book. After he spends a good part of Po3 and OotS finding roundabout ways to snipe at her for not giving him exactly what he wanted. It falls on HER to be the one he can ask for advice on how to fix the family he treated like shit his whole life.

no that's not hyperbole she literally. textually. is compared to his mother.

and he can't even be gracious about it, he's instantly all huffy and offended, completely proving her point. Why the hell would anyone make this guy a deputy? The man needs TWO motherly figures giving him the exact same basic advice and a dedicated super edition before he adjusts his behavior even slightly.

(watch him get Boring Leader Syndrome the minute he inevitably becomes Crowstar, too)

Sooo, in a nutshell;

It's one of the better SEs. unfortunately.

Crowfeather is held accountable for being the problem in his own relationships, thank god

but it doesn't fully hold the actions we SAW in the main series books accountable, seemingly purposefully leaving out the worst things he did.

Another WC book where a male character gets an insane amount of sympathy and rewarding that female characters are NEVER deigned deserving of.

Should have been Breezepelt's story. I strongly dislike how Breeze's "redemption" was based on his shitty dad saying sorry. He deserved an actual character arc struggling with ever trusting WindClan again after they took his dad's judgement about him at face value.

Absolutely awful that Leafpool is killed between books and given a trial where they consider sending her to hell when they finally DO get around to showing how she died, while Crowfeather gets an SE about the whole world holding his hand so he can fix the family he broke in 5 easy steps.

Its biggest problem is that it is about a character whose actions you can go and read about. It doesn't deliver on the setup of 12 books of Crowfeather being an absolute git; it's a good story for the version of Crowfeather the new team seems to have created in their heads.

Doesn't stop me from manifesting him getting an infection and having a Sandstorm-tier disrespectful death in the upcoming series, lmao.

[eleni-cherie]

a thief's origin✨ || bts • kth - chapter 0.2

"you're afraid I won't wait." "I'm afraid you will."

a criminal and a doctor should be as different as the sun and the moon - but unexpected things happened every day. like him finding his safe haven in her.

© 2024 | eleni_cherie

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masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers s2f2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

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4th December

Barcelona, Spain

"Are you sure we won't get caught?"

Cassandra's hushed concern laced with irrational excitement got Taehyung snicker under his breath. He briefly glanced over his shoulder, seeing her wonderous gaze as she was leaning in to try catching a glance of what he was doing.

"Not if you keep watching for any prying eyes," he countered with a smirk, causing her to mumble a muffled 'okay' into her scarf and returning to stand guard as she trusted him for some naive reason. And he continued shortwiring the alarm system.

Her eyes briefly wandered down to the colourful beige-brown-yellow pattern of wet tiles beyond the canopy, which covered the backyard of Casa Batlló. Quickly heaving them again to look around into the rainy afternoon, ensuring no one was seeing them indeed.

Usually the building and the integrated museum were open till late, 10pm, every day. However, that day and the next it was supposed to be closed for some minor renovations. Cassandra had mindlessly mentioned that as the two had passed by in search for a place to await the rain. Neither one having an umbrella. She hadn't expected him suggesting to break in, knowing it was one of her favourite buildings in the city, clearly joking and not actually meaning it. And she surely hadn't expected herself to agree despite knowing it was all tongue-in-cheek.

Feeling an unknown thrill and rush while standing there behind the fence now, shielding his thievery skills while he worked on the rather simple security system - as he claimed.

"Thought your friend was the master thief," she giggled then over her shoulder before redirecting her focus to their surroundings.

Taehyung only huffed at this. "Doesn't mean I don't have some aces up my sleeve, too." A cocky smirk audible in his voice.

A shiver crept up under her pink woollen coat then and she wondered if he wasn't cold at all with his rather thin coat, which was even left unbottoned. Simply unable to comprehend how someone wouldn't feel the need for a scarf in the with humidity spiked coldness of the city.

It was the middle of winter after all, also meaning it got dark earlier and the rainy clouds surely quickened the process. They still got some time left though. Which unfortunately also meant someone could still see them, despite the possibility being low considering the downpour.

Besides, Cassandra was also uncertain if all the other neighbouring buildings weren't inhabited like this one. She knew the one on the right was something like a parfum museum. The ones on the left looked a lot like office buildings. But the rest around the backyard? No clue.

Before she could voice any of her concerns, however, she heard Taehyung's triumphant cheer. And he got up from the electrical panel, cracking open the backdoor with ease. Holding it wide open for her to hurry inside and observed all nervousness wash away from Cassandra's face the further inside they stepped. Her brown irises big while they looked around the colourful tiles and curves. Their footsteps echoing against them in the empty silence.

"Come, this way!" she beamed with excitement while gripping her backpack tighter and he followed her through the posh dining room to a corridor, until they reached the entrance hall.

The place evoked an underwater environment with its white and light blue. They began climbing up the staircase then, past the lightwell which distributed the air and light that entered through the main skylight on top. Also completely covered in tiles of shades of blue, with more intense colour in the upper part and lighter tiles at the bottom.

There was a strangeness to seeing all those high-built exhalted rooms and spaces deprived of any presence and noise but theirs.

Eventually they reached the top and the entrance to the roof terrace.

It sounded like the rain had stopped by now, the clouds having wandered further away to another city part. But since they were already there, might as well take advantage of it. So she let him take over again, allowing him to pick the roof door's lock.

The roof terrace was dominated on each end by what was popularly known as the dragon's back, which characterised the facade and had been represented with different coloured tiles. However, the main focal point of the terrace were the four crooked and polychrome chimney stacks.

The rooftops of all the other buildings around the blocks visible beyond them. Bathed in a warm hue by the low winter sun that peeked through the now clearing clouds.

Everything glistening wet, reflecting its rays.

"I've never been here with no other people around," she said, taking in the view in awe. Not paying attention to the slippery ground, she'd have landed on the cold tiles if it wasn't for Taehyung's quick reaction. Grabbing her arm and holding onto her tightly.

"Careful, clumsy fellow."

She blushed at his teasing grin. "Y-yeah, thanks."

There were a few chairs scattered around for visitors and they settled for a couple under a porch, spared from the rain. And Taehyung's eyes widened when watching Cassandra unpack a small drawing pad and a pencil. Seeing her beginning sketching on her lap.

It didn't happen often, but there were periods she really got into this often overlooked interest of hers. Overlooked since studying and working had taken up most energy in the past. Not leaving much for anything else. So she tried picking it up again whenever she could, carrying her pad and pencil wherever she went.

He peeked on her paper, seeing the rough outline of the skyline and the roof taking shape on it. And he pursed his lips. "You draw?"

"Mh, a bit. Sometimes."

"Do you have a spare piece of paper?"

Arching a brow at him briefly, she nodded and heaved hers to tear off another one for him. Offering him a pencil as well, which he accepted with a smile.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of calluses on his palm and index finger. From a gun, she concluded.

"You draw, too?" she asked then, adjusting the thick beanie on her head before glancing back down to her drawing pad.

"Hardly. But figured I could pick it up again instead of sitting here idle," he explained with a small shrug and started doodling. "Don't expect anything grand though."

she laughed under her breath. "Neither should you."

They grew quiet with only their scribbling pencils and the passing cars down on the street audible. Until Taehyung took out his phone and a mellow jazz song began accompanying them instead. And Cassandra stole a glance at him.

Over the course of the past three months, he'd tended to stop by in between of breaks from heists. He said it was because he loved the city and perhaps that was true. But she couldn't help and secretly hope it was partially for her, too.

He was still somewhat a stranger in some aspects. And a friend in others. One of these friends you only met once in awhile and yet, it didn't feel weird or awkward. Making her wonder if she would also still get along like this with her actual old friends from highschool and medical school.

And in an odd way, Taehyung felt the same strange familiarity with the young doctor. Cassandra was like a childhood friend.

When he was with her, he didn't feel like an internationally wanted thief, but rather like a normal and perhaps even good person.

She made him forget about what he was when being away from her. And in some naive way he wanted to cling onto that, for as long as possible at least.

After all, they had barely known each other and yet, while spending afternoons together just strolling around, it felt always easy. Effortlessly. At some point they'd even reached the beach, only then realising how they'd had walked up all the way there without noticing. They could always talk about anything and have fun.

Cassandra didn't know she wasn't the only one finding comfort in that.

Much to her dismay, however, they couldn't talk about everything as Taehyung would never tell her any stories from his heists with Jimin and Yoongi.

He lied that it'd be a thief's codex not to speak with an outsider about it, when in reality he simply didn't want her to judge or be scared of him.

He had this justified paranoia that a woman like her wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone like him if she knew any details. After all, he still couldn't fathom the fact she hadn't already run away from the very beginning when knowing what he was.

And besides, him not letting her in on his criminal life would be better in any case. For both of them.

"May I ask something?" she spoke up then, after tucking a coppery curl behind her ear that had gone astry by the breeze high up there. Hearing him hum, she gathered her courage and proceeded. "How did you become a thief? I mean.. did you wake up one day and thought 'yep, that's what I wanna do'?"

It was something she'd always wondered but never dared to mention. However, the sight of his hand reminded her of it again. So she decided to attempt coaxing some info out of him at least. Anything.

Cassandra's unapologetic curiosity made Taehyung burst out laughing, genuinely entertained by her. However, she mistook it for mockery and only pouted.

"Don't tell me if you don't want to. But stop making fun of me," she mumbled awkwardly.

He quickly shook his head, though, stifling another bubbling chuckle. "No, no. It's alright. I don't mind. Just didn't expect that sudden question."

She only hmpf-ed, focusing on her sketch. "So?"

"Well.." he began then scratching his head while contemplating how to explain it, "It's definitely not that I woke up one day and decided to be one. It just.. happened."

Cassandra only shot him a funny look. "Like.. you just tripped and fell into it?"

Wrinkles formed at the corners of his eyes again and he bit back another chuckle. Getting the reference.

The cold wind picked up anew, tousling his hair and making Cassandra's body grow stiff for a moment.

"Kinda.. remember Jimin?"

"Of course," she nodded, "How could I forget that cute face."

"Cute face, huh?" he huffed out a laugh, "Don't let him hear that, his ego is already out of proportion."

She giggled, nodding. "Noted. So, what's with him?"

Taehyung sighed into the wind. His pencil pausing for a brief second. "It is a long story.."

"We got time," she shrugged, erasing a part and sketching it again, "But if you don't wanna.."

"I mean.. it's not easy to explain." He lowered the volume of his phone then. "I mean, why did you decide to be a physician?"

"Oh."

She glanced up at him, seeing his mischievious grin which caused her to huff out amused.

So that was how he wanted to play.

"In my case it wasn't anything special, though," she shrugged and went back to her drawing, "I like helping people and I love biology. And I'm interested in how things work. How these different organs and cells interact together." A small smile formed on her lips as the pencil glided over the thick piece of paper. "Between all the subjects and things that interested me, this was the one holding more meaning to me, you know? So yeah.. That was my reason. Nothing too special, really."

Taehyung observed her with a fond smile, finding her reason rather noble than as simple as she made it sound. Returning to his doodles then.

"Not the money or prestige?" he teased then, making her scoff in fake-offence.

"Please, if I wanted just money and prestige I could've studied economics or finances or something like that. Would've been way easier than all the nights studying anatomy and metabolic deseases. Believe me."

He hummed amused.

Of course he knew there was a big portion of doctors doing it for the wrong reasons, but he'd never believed her belonging to them. She just didn't strike him as such a superficial person, even if his analysing skills weren't as advanced as Jimin's, he believed that he reckoned up her character pretty well at least. And he was glad he was proven right.

The setting sun bathed everything in a sepia light. The atmosphere warm and bright despite the crisp temperature.

Although the anew dark clouds nearing from the south did concern her.

"Now it's your turn," she smirked and looked up to the afternoon view to catch more details. Planning to engrave the golden colours of the atmosphere into her memory to add them at home.

Taehyung hummed, scratching his neck with the back of the pencil while contemplating. "Well, for you to understand I have to explain my upbringing I guess," he exhaled almost in defeat then and sat back. Allowing his eyes to wander over the grey rooftops. "My earliest memories consist of a skyscraper in Mumbai, where my father brought me along to a meeting with a 'client'. I was only five back then." He paused, chewing the inside of his cheek as he chose his next words. "My dad.. he did business with shady people, so you could say the apple never falls far from the tree." A hollow laugh left his lips at the irony and he drew an abstract cartoon face. "Hence why he also taught me how to shoot a gun from an early age. I still remember when he did for the first time."

Cassandra only nodded, listening intently. She wanted to allow him opening up fully. "So it's save to assume you must be pretty good with a gun," she said instead.

Her assumptions proven correctly when she saw him nod, sighing.

"Don't wanna brag, but I'm a pretty good marksman. Yeah." His gaze fell.

It wasn't like he ever felt exceptionally proud of his remarkable skills, in fact, he was always quite indifferent about them. However, telling her about them now made an unusual nervousness rise inside him. Fearing her judgement.

"Anyway," he composed himself then, "So you can say my dad wasn't necessarily father of the year, but besides teaching me how to shoot and taking me along to business trips, he was alright and took care of me. But since we travelled and moved a lot and I never got to stay at a place for too long. Which kinda sucked."

A scowl crossed her featured. "Oh, what about school or friends?"

"I had to constantly change schools and always had to leave the friends I found behind."

"That sounds.. hard," she sighed, giving him a look of empathy.

And he nodded as an old Sinatra classic began playing, distracting him for a moment. He ran his hand through his messy waves then. "Yeah.. but it didn't last for too long, so it's okay. Really. When I turned thirteen my dad left me at my grandparents and disappeared, so.. I was able attending school frequently after all."

At this, Cassandra perked up again. Brows furrowed in confusion how he brushed over that grave information so easily. "W-what? He disappeared?"

Taehyung only shrugged nonchalantly. Masking the still lingering hurt and confusion. "Y-yeah.. The only thing I have left of him is his Magnum. He gave it to me before leaving. And I still have it, carrying it around wherever I go."

He knew that he didn't have to tell her all this, but he felt like doing it anyway. Although it wasn't something he talked about often. Or ever.

The only people who knew were his two closest and only friends, and perhaps Seokjin and his interpol agents if they had done their work correctly. However, he hoped that knowing his backstory would at least help her understand it better. And perhaps prevent her from judging him too much.

But Cassandra wasn't judging him. Rather the opposite.

She folded her lips at this, quietly processing his words. And all of a sudden a deep sadness spread inside her instead. The quiet background music coming from his phone emphasising the lingering heaviness.

Obviously she'd already assumed that his life and upbringing most likely hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows - whose really were anyway - but she hadn't expected it to be so sombre. Despite him trying brushing it off and not dissembling it. She could still tell it was a baggage he carried with him by the dullness clouding his usually bright eyes.

"Mh, it's a memento of your father," she concluded then with a nod, more to herself than him. "And that's why you became a thief?"

"No, not really. But it's what pathed the way for me, I guess," he snickered. The laugh not reaching his eyes. And her lips parted but before she could say anything more, he continued. "What eventually made me a thief was when I met Jimin, the most annoying, insufferable and sly skirt chaser at school," he sighed, chuckling under his breath. It was genuine amusement this time. "But he was also the most loyal and reliable friend I ever had."

At this, Cassandra couldn't help but coo, averting her focus from her sketch to look at him with crescent-shaped eyes. "You two are childhood friends, that's so lovely."

Taehyung smiled at her reaction. Finding it unexpected but also endearing. "Yeah, we were school friends. But not right from the start. To me he was just a rebellious and entitled lil' rich brat, a real trouble-maker. I preferred hanging out with the other kids or staying by myself."

She could tell he was holding back a nostalgic laugh and she smiled. "Sounds like a handful," she agreed, "But you still ended up becoming friends."

He scoffed, folding his arms. "I was kinda forced, to be honest. He saw me having a gun one day and then dragged us into a shootout all because he was into that woman - who was at least ten years older than us, mind you." Now getting genuinely upset when recalling the incident at the bar two 13-year-olds didn't have any business to be at. Adding with a frustrated breath, "This idiot never thinks when he sees a pretty girl and the rest of us have to carry the can for it." He shook his head then. "Anyway, I ended up becoming friends with him. We hung up and since thievery ran in Jimin's blood - it was literally his family-business - he began being on the fiddle. And I ended up helping him. And as we grew older it went from robbing liquor to banks to museums and art galleries to.. well, to actual treasures around the world. And on the way, we met Yoongi who joined us. That's the story, I guess."

Cassandra breathed out an astonished "wow", eyes gaping at him in a short silence. "That's.. an intense story," a mischievous smirk tugging at the corners of her lips, "Are you sure you didn't steal that from a film plot?"

He laughed as well, looking down at his three caricatures. "I wished."

The dark blanket of clouds she had noticed earlier had come threateningly closer by now. Covering the right side of the sky completely, while the rest also had a fair amount of smaller, lighter clouds. Still not enough to completely cover it there, though, leaving enough space for the colorful sky to peak through when a more upbeat song began playing.

"You know, it's kinda funny," Cassandra said then, making him perk up. He noticed her lips curled into a small ambiguous smile. Eyes resting on the skyline before going back to her drawing. "We're so different, you and me. But our upbringings still ended up having some similarities."

He was intrigued by this. "Like what?"

She picked another pencil, a thicker one compared to the one she had sketched the buildings in. "My parents are nature photographers, you know, always been travelling around the world. Still do. I barely see them, only when they visit me once every one or two months. And back in the days, they'd take me with them to all the far places," she explained," My earliest memories are of myself chasing pigeons on the Plaza de la Catedral in Havana when I was merely four years old. I remember it vividly. It was a lively, colourful place. I'd like to revisit one day." The ambiguousness in her expression now replaced with nostalgia. "And then when I was old enough to attend school, they left me with my grandparents. Just like you, I grew up with them and suddenly I had something like a stable life. But my parents would still take me with them during holidays, so I still got to travel."

Perhaps that was why to this day, something inside her remained unsettled so she took any chance she got to travel somewhere. Whether it was during her medical internships or for vacations.

The two exchanged a look, holding each other's gaze with a smile of mutual understanding.

The similarity of their childhoods consisting of constant travelling with no real sense of 'home' up until a certain age, was comforting in a way. Although their circumstances being clearly unlike, to know there was someone else with similar experience and upbringings was maybe what really bonded them in the end, despite living so vastly different lives.

They continued sketching in a comfortable silence then. 

The sun neared the mountains in the distance and the golden hue of the atmosphere soon became darker. The clouds which had now covered most of the sky above them, reflecting the disappearing sun's orangy gleam. Bright, fluffy clouds on their right contrasting dark heavy ones on their left. The sky looking like straight out of the renaissance paintings in a museum. And both stared at it in awe.

Cassandra took another paper out and began a new sketch. Hatching harsher shadows on the buildings and clouds. Trying her best to capture the dramatic picturesque view in front of her. And Taehyung observed her silently, admiring the pure concentration in her face.

Soon the darker ones absorbed more of the yellow sky in their purple shades. The sun hidden by now. Only the smaller becoming gleam behind the buildings letting them assume where it was- With pink cotton candy clouds in the far north contrasting the shades of blue around them. Only half an hour later, the sun had set completely. Leaving the buildings standing dark against the still dimly coloured sky. 

Another brisk breeze passed by then and she shivered, causing her tho almost smudge the sketch.

"Are you cold?" Taehyung wondered out loud, making her frown.

"Of course. Aren't you?"

He shrugged, shoving his hands into his coat's pockets. Not because he was cold but out of habit. "Not really, no."

"You may not feel it, but your body might become hypothermic if you're not careful."

He hummed.

"You should definitely dress warmer. Put on a scarf of something."

"Is that a doctor's advice?" he smirked and she puffed out a laugh.

"It's actually a doctor's order."

"Oh, is that so?" His brows rose. Finding her lecturing tone quite amusing as it was contrasting her otherwise gentle and bubbly demeanor. "I should follow it then."

She knew he wasn't taking her serious, but she had done her duty and warned him. It was up to him if he listened or not.

"I like this song," she said then, motioning with her chin to his phone. His brows rose as his gaze fell on it. 'Unforgettable' by Nat Kind Cole was playing. And he couldn't help but beam at her. "So do I."

A tiny waterdrop landed on the back of her hand then. And another one. She looked up, seeing the purple clouds now hanging low above them. Stretching all the way to the pastel pink coloured north side. Another waterdrop landed on her cheek and she realised those weren't normal waterdrops but actual raindrops.

Taehyung had also noticed them, holding the palm of his hand against them. "I think it's raining again."

As soon as he said that, more and more drops fell abruptly from the sky and Cassandra cursed under her breath. Quickly packing up and shoving everything into her backpack. And they hurried inside, following the stairs back downstairs.

They could hear the rain picking up on volume, pattering loudly against the glass of the skylight and the windows.

The stairs led them to the house's main living room, which despite the large picture window that formed a gallery onto the rain-covered main street, was left in an eery atmosphere due to the lack of light. The huge oak doors and the wavy ceiling only adding to this.

Cassandra sat down on the floor in front of the gallery window taking off her beanie. A sigh escaping her lips when seeing the rain pouring down harsher, becoming more violent. Turning into a downright cloudburst. "And I was thinking about taking my umbrella with me, but of course I didn't.."

"I bet it's just another short downpour, it'll be over soon," Taehyung said, taking a seat next to her and resting his arms on his angled legs. He motioned to her backback then. "Are your drawings okay?"

Her eyes grew wide, only now remembering them. She zipped open her backpack, taking out her drawing pad and flipping threw the pages. They seemed alright, no wavy edges, no blurred or dissorted lines. And she sighed in relief. "Yeah, they seem fine."

Suddenly the pad was tucked out of her grip and she watched Taehyung's eyes intently browsing over them as well. His brows knitting lightly, making her wonder what he was thinking about.

"You said not to expect much, but these are incredible," he said then with a straight face, handing her the pad back. Cassandra blinked, hesitatedly accepting it and stuffing it back into her bag.

"I mean.. they were rather casually drawn.. but thanks," she mumbled, not really taking the compliment serious. Knowing they weren't her best works considering their rushed nature and it'd been awhile since she'd last drawn.

Taehyung only eyed her for a moment and shrugged, resting his gaze on the streams of water flowing down the gallery window in front of them. "Sure, but you still captured the atmosphere and contrasts well. I like them."

At this she bit back a genuine smile.

"Oh, well thank you then." She playfully nudged his arm with a wiggle in her brows. "Didn't know you were such an 'art connoisseur'."

He laughed under his breath, sensing she only wanted to distract from the blush on her cheeks. And he let her.

"You know, we've not only stolen jeweles and artefacts. Sometimes we steal paintings, too. Some knowledge must've brushed off on me."

Nodding, she hummed. Eyes joining his in watching the heavy growing rain outside. "What paintings did you steal?"

"Some Manet's, some Rembrandt's, an El Greco.." he mused, "You know, all these portraits they've painted made me realise one thing.."

Intrigued, she peeked at him. "And what?"

He faced her with a lopsided grin. "That I'd like having one myself. Like one of these sleazy rich guys. To put it over my fireplace or something."

Cassandra couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Do you even have a fireplace?"

His grin widened. "I don't even have my own house," he said, laughing along with her now over his own absurdity, "But one day, one day I will."

And they sat there shoulder to shoulder, watching the storm pass by. For a brief second he thought about taking his phone out again before deciding against it. Somehow preferring listening to the pit-a-pat of the rain instead.

»»»

next chapter: 0.3 here

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback!♡ It motivates me to keep writing :)

taglist: @lilanyxta @naoolammao345 @memna234 @tetehion @myblacklilame

[theerurishipper]

Am I selfish for wishing Marinette wasn't the protagonist? She doesn't really connect to the plot besides her love arc and I don't find it that interesting. Like a lot of female protagonists like the cast of Totally Spies the girls force to work for Jerry, or Bloom finding she's a fairy and has the dragon flame or Iris from lolirock who finds out she's Princess of Ephedia. Like you have all these ladies who's arc isn't just connected to just love like it's part of it but romance isn't central to their character they have more to them.

Like it's so weird honestly because I never really knew of a protagonist who just didn't connect with the story instead the secondary character has. His father the villain, he has fans and many who crush on him, he's a model but he's secretly also the famed ChatNoir, he's an abused child who want their parent attention, rich, and a little behind when it comes to social cues. Like? Are we sure he's not the protagonist is that why the show gives him such little contributions and makes others take what he's deserves. Like the book from early on s2, felix finding out his mother in the basement, Kagami learning early on the whole agreste situation and doing a whole play in front of Ladybug with Felix to convey the situation.

She's in every episode most MC's aren't always there sometimes they leave for an episode or two or have someone take the spotlight but she is there 24/7. Like I kinda want to know another character for a chance because I already gauged enough of her character to know romance is all there is to her lol. I don't know can't we have an Adrien central episode, Alya, Kagami, hell even Luka?

No wonder I think the cast are so bland to me because they just appear we don't really know them personally besides if they get akumatized.

Marinette to me is like if we're seeing the blushing female girl and the entire show from a Hinata perspective in Naruto just there to pine for a boy who aren't even that close.

You're not selfish for that, anon. We all have our different tastes. Personally, I like Marinette as the protagonist, but we all have different likes and dislikes.

I will say that the writing for Marinette as a protagonist is pretty lacking though. She doesn't have any connection to the main plot on her own and can only have any relevance in the final battle of her show by taking the place of some other character. The show is literally allergic to taking the focus off her for more than five seconds. Plenty of shows that have a single character as their main lead also devote few episodes to the developing the side characters.

For example, a superhero show like Miraculous would usually have an episode where Ladybug is incapacitated, and Chat Noir has to do the saving. But Miraculous can't handle not having Marinette be the one to save the day at all times, so Chat Noir is just always reduced to being the sidekick or the one who gets caught and has to have Ladybug save him. Like, even in episodes where it seems like Chat Noir will have a larger role to play, the writers can't help but have it be Ladybug who saves the day in the end. Even in episodes that seem like they are going to focus on Adrien, Marinette will have some B plot shoehorned in that will take over the entire episode until it seems like Adrien's conflict is the actual B plot.

Like you said, it's not wrong for the protagonist to take a step back in a few episodes and let the supporting characters shine. Miraculous' habit of shoving Marinette into the resolution for every other conflict but her own is detrimental to both her own character and every other character. It's just bad writing, honestly.

Thank you for your ask!

[azrielwingspan]

DISTRACTIONS (AZRIEL X OC)- PART 1

Distractions is a collection of short stories whose main characters are Azriel and Nyra (OC).

It's established that there is some heavy tension between them (everyone suspects lol) and I decided to put into words a few visualizations I've had of the both of them just pining for each other, playing hard to get, flirting, a bit of angst, some fluff and overall just being HELLA CUTE OKAY.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is PART 1 !!!

Summary :

The IC , Nyra and a couple of mutual friends decide to stay in for a night and celebrate the success of one of their more important missions. A bit of alcohol and a cozy setting can do wonders.

Warnings: Nothing major. Lots of drinking, fluff if you squint your eyes.

"Okay, bring out the expensive wine. I'm sick of whatever crap this is." Cassian said making a disgusted face at the glass of wine in his hand. Nesta, curled up by his side on the love seat in front of the fireplace , smirked at him over the rim of her peppermint teacup.

"That would've been possible.." drawled Rhys from the wingback chair adjacent to the fireplace "if you hadn't made it your life goal to rid my wine cellar of it's most expensive occupants."

A few chuckles rose around the room and Cassian scowled , halfheartedly taking a sip from the crap wine in his hand.

Despite the lack of good wine, everyone was in good spirits that day. The parlor in Rhysand's and Feyre's Riverhouse was occupied by their closest group of friends who were finally able to let loose after weeks of intense work. The fireplace cast a cozy glow over the dark wood furniture with emerald green accents and provided a warm embrace against the frigid rain lashing against the windows.

The smell of alcohol , rain and smoky cedar mixed in with the quiet chattering of the occupants , sometimes interrupted by a boisterous laugh set everyone's senses at ease and lulled them into comfort.

"I heard the party started without me."

Heads whipped towards the doorway of the parlor where Nyra stood grinning with her hands behind her back. Dressed in a gold satin dress with dark hair in a braid, her green eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Well..." said Nicolai, her best friend since childhood, "you are two hours late." He glanced at the clock placed on the mantel above the fireplace.

"I am aware. Which is whyyyy..." Nyra brought her hands forward showing everyone the two bottles of tequila she'd managed to buy before showing up.

Cheers erupted through the room, Cassian nearly jumping out his seat. Mor tackled her in a hug saying "Thank the Cauldron. I was ready to fall asleep."

She was pulled into the room , bottles taken out of her hand and replaced with shot glasses. A grin was etched onto her face as everyone assembled near the fire place to take their first shots together.

Nyra was trying very hard. She really was. She was putting every ounce of her willpower towards not looking at the male at the periphery of her vision. Being in the same room as him was enough to make her heart stutter and set off a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. Her body was attuned to his every movement and he was the first thing her mind directed her to in any room.

She would've gone straight to him and spent the entire evening by his side but this thing between them was becoming too evident. She would be asked questions that she didn't have an answer to. She wasn't ready to face that. Not yet. Perhaps she was a coward but she didn't want to face that either. That's how she had survived for so long and she wasn't keen on facing those parts of her anytime soon. There were more important things to focus on.

"To us. The dreamers and conquerors." Rhys raised his shot glass in the air and everyone followed him. Once the shots were downed, a few coughs erupting as the burn of the alcohol kicked in, Nyra made her way through the crowd talking to everyone she knew.

She would speak to him last. She could spend the most time with him. She almost rolled her eyes at her own thoughts and tried to focus on her companions words. She'd sneaked a peek at him because she couldn't help herself and her stomach lurched at how devastatingly handsome he looked. Wearing a simple black shirt unbuttoned at the top , the firelight falling across half his face making the deep tan of his skin glow against the stark contrast of his shadows, hazel eyes that were glazed from the alcohol he had consumed, he looked ravishing good. He stood near the chest of drawers, an elbow placed on the surface of the chest lazily while the other hand held his glass of...whisky. She would know for sure if she kissed him.

She had immediately turned away , not trusting herself to stop staring if she started and tried to give her undivided attention to her companion. She might have zoned out on his face multiple times because he seemed to take the hint and end the conversation before she made a bigger fool of herself.

"NYRA!" Feyre called from the other side of the room, where she was perched on the chair that Rhys occupied. She made her way to Feyre all the while being aware of the set of hazel eyes that trailed her.

Don't look. Don't look. Don't you dare.

Successfully making it without tripping on her dress or making lovesick eyes at a certain male, she listened to Feyre update her on what had happened in her absence. A couple more shots and drinks were consumed during their gossip session with Mor. Nyra had reached a point where she let out a laugh at every single thing that came out of Feyre's mouth. That tequila had done its job too well. She'd forgotten how many shots she had until that point but judging by the lightness in her head and the slight spin around her , she had enough.

Realizing it was time to sit down before she split her head on the floor, she turned around looking for an empty seat. She found one at the other end of the parlor but it didn't look as enticing as the chaise lounge chair where Azriel was seated speaking to another male. There's just enough space for her to squeeze in. She'd reached a point where her intrusive thoughts couldn't be ignored anymore.

Letting her alcohol addled mind take over, she excused herself from the fizzing out gossip session and made her way over to Azriel. His eyes shot to her the moment she moved, making her think that he'd been keeping note of where she was the entire night. Her heart pounded harder with that thought and she forced herself to breathe normally. Hazel eyes finally clashed with hers and she couldn't help that child like joy that lit up her face. She wasn't this bad during her teenage years either ugh. What had this male done to her?

A small smirk curled his lips while his eyes shone with amusement. The bastard had known. He'd known that she was trying to avoid speaking with him till now. He had known and he had waited for her to come to him because Azriel knew that she couldn't fucking stay away.

She tried not to fidget under the intense gaze that he had fixated on her as she walked towards him. The male he was speaking to rattled on and Azriel interrupted him muttering in a low tone all the while not taking his eyes off of her. Nyra didn't know if it was the alcohol causing the heat to flush her face or if it was something else. Someone else. The male he was talking to found elsewhere to be.

"Hi." she whispered looking down at him and trying to control the whirlwind in her mind. "Hi." he whispered back looking up at her , his eyes holding promises of things she didn't let herself wonder about. He shifted on the seat hinting at her to sit down.

Maneuvering herself around a table, she fit herself into the space next to him trying not to sigh in content at the immediate cocoon of warmth that enveloped her. His scent invaded her senses and seemed to be more potent than the alcohol she had. The entire room seemed to vanish when it was just the both of them and she grateful that they were seated in a dark corner of the room.

"I think you're going a little cross eyed there." Azriel said throwing an arm behind her on the couch. She wanted to lean into him until there was no space left in between. "I think I see two of you." Double the fun.

He let out a raspy laugh that set shivers running down her back. They were so close but not close enough. His shadows faded into the darkness behind leaving the both of them blanketed in glimmers of firelight running across their skin.

"And here I thought avoiding one of me was a hard task for you." he said , eyes shimmering gold in the firelight.

"Not that hard truly. I just have to keep away from dark corners."

"Corners like this?"

"Exactly like this."

"And yet here you are."

"You seemed desperate to talk to me. So I decided to put you out of your misery."

"Did I now?"

"Oh yes you did."

"Well thankyou for putting me out of my misery, Nyra." He had a wonderful way of saying her name. The R came out with a trill, a habit he had picked up from her as a way of mocking her.

"You're welcome Shadowsinger. I do need a favor in return though." she said bringing up the glass of whatever was in there upto her lips while keeping her eyes glued to him.

"Favour?" he asked ,eyes trailing the movement of the glass to her lips. She might have taken an unnaturally long sip to keep his eyes trained on her mouth.

"Yes." she said breathily watching his eyes flick back to her.

Too far. This was going too far and too fast.

Clearing her throat she said "I demand to be taken to the pastry shop that everyone here seems to rave about. If there's anything to put me out of my misery, it's deliciously sweet pastries."

"Pastries? You know I've heard people say I can be deli--"

"Don't finish that sentence." she said fighting the laughter ready to erupt.

He raised his free hand in mock surrender and tipped back his glass of whisky. She could smell it now. A kiss could could confirm though.

She stole a glance at the tattoos peeking out of his shirt as he turned away from her to place the now empty glass on the floor beside them. He turned back towards her stunning her with the intensity of his gaze.

"Do you want to go now?" he asked shifting himself into a more comfortable position. His arm continued to rest behind her.

"Now? It's the middle of the night."

"I know."

Nyra blinked once, the only indication of her confusion.

"I'm sure the baker would go beyond working hours to put a beautiful woman out of her misery. I've heard he's quite charming."

Nyra was sure that the heat rushing to her face was not the alcohol this time. It was such a cheesy line and yet she almost fanned herself to get rid of the red staining her cheeks.

Azriel who never missed anything especially when it came to her, laughed quietly earning a smack on the arm.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink for tonight.” Nyra said trying to collect herself.

“I think I need more now that you’re here.”

“Funny. I was thinking the exact same thing.”

“I think every male requires a bit of liquid courage to be around you.”

“Am I that torturous?”

“You’re resplendent.”

“Is that your new word of the week?”

“One of the many for you.”

“Why Az, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were trying to charm me.”

“You don’t know better then.”

Nyra shut her mouth not knowing what to say. Azriel was much more talkative today. The alcohol had loosened him up and they were crossing into dangerous territory. Nyra would be lying if she told herself she wasn’t getting a rush from it.

“Charmed?” He asked breaking into her thoughts. They’d leaned a little closer to each other in the past few minutes. She was able to smell the heady mix of alcohol and cedar on him that muddled up her brain.

Maybe it was the sudden surge of confidence due to the alcohol or maybe it was the way Azriel was looking at her that made her want to play along.

She leaned even closer , stopping an inch from his face and let her breath wash over his lips as she said “You have to try much harder than that, Shadowsinger.”

His eyes flashed with surprise and desire. They’d never gotten this close to each other before. They really were cartwheeling across the invisible lines they had drawn for themselves today.

A grin broke out on his face sparking something in her chest that made her feel content. He was beautiful. She wanted him.

“I like a bit of a challenge. Things were starting to get boring around here.” He said as his eyes roved over her face as if he were trying to memorise every inch of her.

“Is that what I am? A challenge?” she questioned letting her free hand trace the markings on the ring he wore. She felt him stiffen beneath her touch and felt an absurd amount of satisfaction.

“An enigma.”

“Another word for me?”

“Only for you.”

Her mouth went dry at the stampede of emotions running through her causing her to wet her lips. Azriel attention honed in on that movement and her breath hitched at the predatory focus directed towards her.

After a beat of heavy silence, he gave her another lazy smile and moved away dropping his head back against the couch.

The firelight highlighted his onyx hair and she fisted her palms to stop herself from moving away a stray piece of hair from his face. She needed to leave. If this went any farther, she was reckless enough right now to cross a line they would never come back from.

As if hearing and agreeing with her thoughts, Azriel lifted his head and said to her “Get some sleep. I’ll take you to the pastry shop tomorrow morning. We’ll see how much of your misery can be taken care of.”

She tried to ignore the twinge of disappointment as he removed the hand from behind her. He was leaving. He paused his movements, suddenly studying her face intensely as if he were trying to decide on something.

The next thing she knew, a warm caress of lips touched her bare shoulder igniting a fire within her. Her head went silent, unable to process what just occurred.

“Good night.” His lips brushed the shell of her ear, his breath setting off goosebumps. Her entire body flushed with heat and before she could mutter her response, he left.

She saw him leave the parlor and realised that everyone had already left for the night. She hadn’t even noticed.

Pouring herself another glass of wine with her only companion being the soft pattering of rain against the windows , Nyra realised she was fucked .

Truly, utterly, completely fucked.

[8turning]

HII can u do a 8turn headcannon abt how they r like crushing on the reader and what they do to show the reader their love for them ?

thank you for this request!! apologies that it took me so long 💔

☆⠀⠀8TURN — when they're pining for you !

hyung line + jangshinz (separately) x gn ! reader ★ fluff. mutual pining. ★ headcannon

warnings: swearing. physical affection. let me know if i missed anything!

n. i have a similar headcannon here about how they'd show their love; this fic will focus more on how they pine for reader since a lot of my thoughts are already shared on that post!! ♡ also this derailed a bit,,, there's implied confessions HELP sorry 🤒

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀〈 REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED ! 〉

⁰⁰¹ : JAEYUN.

wouldn't realize he liked you until someone pointed it out to him 1/2 🤕

^ he would regret thinking deeper about what yoonsung had told him: "are you sure you don't feel anything for them?" . . . queue a montage of every single memory he has with you where his stomach did a "weird flip" that he never chose to acknowledge.

basically. jaeyun was fucked LOL

BUT despite his revelation, he managed to keep himself composed pretty well. he was never overly affectionate with the members so him suddenly getting lost in his thoughts a lot wasn't exactly foreign.

what was foreign, though, was his very apparent distance.

to be fair, he wasn't fully aware he was doing it. it was more so "when i'm around them i get this Feeling. i cant handle that Feeling right now," then he kinda just. goes somewhere else for the time being.

you'd realize it, overthink it all, and text him on a whim that you needed to talk to him.

he'd get so nervous and only then would he really think about his behavior and . . . yeah you deserved an explanation, even if it resulted in rejection for him :(

he wouldn't speak first. he'd want you to feel welcomed to let out any emotion you were feeling; you were the one who wanted to talk, it wouldn't be right of him to take over.

he'd know that no matter his reason, him suddenly avoiding you and saying "i didn't realize" wasn't going to cut it, so swallowing whatever anxiety he had, he confessed then and there. it wasn't too in depth, of course, but it didn't feel right for him to hide it any longer - especially after everything.

but, the silence that followed his confession made all the anxiety bubble up again, only for you to speak about your reciprocated feelings.

in an unknown way, him pulling back from you is what brought you two together in the end; strange how that works.

⁰⁰² : MYUNGHO.

he's not shy in the slightest LMFAOO 💀 it'd be more shocking if you didn't know he liked you.

it doesn't even matter if you two were hanging out with other people either, he'd make a point to sit by you during a movie. even if it wasn't a horror movie, he'd still tell you that if you're scared, you can cling to him (as if he is any better with scary movies . . . his arm ends up around your shoulder anyways).

he's not usually one for talking during a movie, but he cant help but crack jokes here and there, using that as an excuse to lean in closer to you and watch as you try to hold your laughter in, his eyes watching you adoringly.

myungho would pull you into your own little world when you're with one another,,, he'd literally be so obvious about his feelings for you i'm crying.

openly flirting and complimenting you non-stop,,, holding eye contact if you ever caught him looking at you,,,

myungho would literally tell you how much he liked you straight up 🤭 "i like you a lot, y'know that?" "i'm so glad i met you." "you'll let me stay with you, right?"

the only time EVER he'd get shy if it was you who initiated something. he'd actually lose his mind.

it'd be such a stark contrast to the myungho you knew previously that you couldn't help but laugh a bit whenever you caught him like that.

holding his hand out of nowhere or leaning your head on his shoulder is a surefire way to make heat rise along his neck and make him go speechless.

he's so open about it and talks about you so much. his members are SICK OF HIM!!!! /j

minho probably threatened that if he doesn't make a move soon that he'll ask you out himself . . . you'd get a message from myungho the next morning ♡

⁰⁰³ : MINHO.

bye he's so so playful and he'd be able to cover up how he truly felt pretty well, which was both a positive and a negative for him.

positive: he'd be able to hug you nonchalantly or tap his cheek asking for a kiss and you'd think nothing of it.

negative: you'd think nothing of it.

since minho often acts this way with his friends as well, he slowly becomes self-conscious of his actions, worrying that that's all you saw him as - a friend.

he'd probably slowly try to either a: be more forward with you, or b: reserve certain actions for you only.

minho would stop blowing kisses to myungho and asking seungheon to kiss his cheek. he might even go as far as to not be as physically affectionate with his members anymore.

slowly letting you come to the conclusion yourself that the way he treats you is different from his members.

if you weren't the type to fight against him when he acted this way, if you suddenly started reciprocating the same actions towards him, his head would start spinning.

if it was a normal occurrence for you to return his energy, he'd start to wonder if you treated your friends like this as well.

but . . . he never saw you cling onto jaeyun's arms like you do with him . . . and you don't look at haemin the same way you look at him . . . hm . . .

minho crushing on you would be hard to detect until he made more of an effort to let his guard down about it.

you'd pick up on his behavior change pretty quickly which only opened the conversation of "why are you suddenly treating me like i'm special?"

(hint: its because you are special to him).

⁰⁰⁴ : YOONSUNG.

he is taking this to his GRAVE!!! he'd try to be so so so secretive and discreet.

yoonsung falls hard and doesn't want to overwhelm you with how he feels and everything :( wants to try and soak in the feeling of crushing on you but every time he sees you he just gets so overjoyed and just wants to confess right then and there.

which is why he feels he needs to take this to his grave 😭 he's not sure if he will ever be able to fully "calm down" around you enough to properly confess to you the way you deserve to be confessed (he thinks you deserve the world).

tries to act as Normal as he can around you, but most of the time i think he'd fall kind of silent.

whether you're with a group of friends or just talking one-on-one, he'd get so wrapped up in his thoughts and become uncharacteristically quiet.

it was a constant internal battle for yoonsung. he wanted to be near you but also knew he likely couldn't hide how he felt for much longer.

unlike minho, yoonsung wasn't going to hug you or hold your hand out of no where. he did this with his friends, sure, but he didn't see you as just a friend, which made physical affection towards you that much harder.

the lines would get blurred in his brain and he feared if you reciprocated, even if it was platonic, he'd make an assumption that could end up hurting him.

of course, yoonsung was unaware of your feelings towards him as well, and seeing him seemingly pulling away from you, you subconsciously do the same :(

he doesn't realize just how different he was acting towards you until that moment, and as if his heart took control over his brain, he'd spill all of his feelings for you, doing his best to explain away his behavior.

and it worked - who could stay mad at him for too long?

⁰⁰⁵ : HAEMIN.

wouldn't realize he liked you until someone pointed it out to him 2/2 💔

everything would be going perfectly fine for haemin,,, until minho jokingly commented about how much he liked you. then that became all he thought about.

begin haemin's internal debate of if he liked you romantically or not! and if it was true (it was), how long? upon actually giving it a lot of thought . . . he's liked you for a while without really processing his feelings effectively.

and now,,, he cannot properly face you!! at least, not in the beginning.

everything hits him so fast and he's forced to process his emotions at a rapid pace now. he does a decent job at hiding his inner turmoil about the topic, but he eventually confides in kyungmin about it (though it wasn't on purpose),, kyungmin just caught him while he was dazed!! totally not like he went to kyungmin stressing about possibly ruining your friendship hahaha . . .

once he was able to fully "recover" and process everything, he's a goner. heart eyes are permanent.

just so absolutely infatuated with everything you do and say. comes around more often and always manages to take the spot next to you if you're with a group of people.

always always always joking around with you because he loves the sound of your laugher and how happy you seem when you smile, especially when you smile because of him.

in a twisted ending, haemin is grateful that minho made him fall into a crisis. if he hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to have these moments with you.

once you end up together, minho rightfully takes full credits for the relationship starting, kyungmin taking credit for helping haemin get over his fear of ruining everything between you two.

so - albeit his disagreement - haemin accepts that they should get some credit for their help.

but how it all came to be doesn't matter much, as long as in the end, he ended up with you.

⁰⁰⁶ : KYUNGMIN.

i'm not usually fond of the trope of someone who brings up the person they like every time they can but,,,, kyungmin does exactly that. his members get so tired of him for it too HELP (he's gotten into the practice of just,, thinking of you instead of verbally bringing you up so often).

his members' anger (/j) doesn't stop him though!! every chance he gets he talks about you,, the only time that stops is when you're around 🧍‍♂️

you BET the members are gonna poke fun at him for that too LMFAO

when you're around, he'd be much more into listening rather than speaking himself.

"platonic" kisses on the backs of your hands. "platonic" hand holding. (nothing about it is platonic).

kyungmin would love love love to rest his head on your shoulder!! whether he's standing behind you while talking with a group of friends or sitting next to each other watching a movie, he just likes the feeling (bonus points if his arm is looped under yours to play with your fingers).

he'd be in his own head a lot,,, daydreaming and such,,, even though you're right next to him 🧍‍♂️

if you were to nudge him while he was like this, he'd look at you with the most love-filled gaze.

he didn't have to say anything to you, just from the way he looked at you and the light blush forming on his cheeks, you knew. the way your stomach filled with butterflies as you held his gaze was also a great indicator that his look meant something more.

it was then when he saw how your gaze changed too - it changed to one that matched his own. with a deep breath, he'd squeeze your hand before a smile spread across his face.

© 8turning 2023.

[hanamgi]

Autoshop

┈➤ Summary:  He was the sun in your universe, you just wished you were a fraction of that for his.

◦ Strangers/friends to….

◦ 17k+ words 

◦ Rating: 18+

◦ Pairing: mehcanicJKxFemReader

➤ Warnings: ┃ Swearing, DomJK, face sitting/riding, lustful makeout, they have sex in the shop, seggs on the car lol, teasing, dirty talk, grinding, he spits on it, sloppy eating out, ┃Mutual pining, Jungkook is an assho*le lowkey, reader is very much naive, frustration between the two, emotionally constipated Koo, implied traumatic past relationships, Jimin is the best friend JK needs, Hoseok also a good friend, idk I wrote this during a time I was frustrated with someone, and in essence this kinda bout how she did me dirty but obviously this is 100 more dramticized for the audience hehe

HELLO: I really wanted to release it's his first time MONTHS back but literally uni has hit me like a truck I can't seem to escape exam szn at all (pls help) but the hype is dying down im in my final semster of first year (more exams yay) but ill get to have a long break after. That being said I hope you enjoy this, it was in my draft for almost 11 months now, so lmk what you think don't be shy and please like, share, reblog <3

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Finally it was time.

You were beyond ecstatic to go and visit the shop again, the oil in your car finally signalling that it needed a refill, so why not bring it to your favourite mechanic? It was last summer that your car had broken down on the highway, needing a whole new engine and it ended up getting towed into a mechanic shop just off the 406. You were tired, exhausted, just trying to get back to your apartment from spending the weekend at your parent's house.

Your parents missed you but you missed the little growly cat you had at home, -Mr. Snuggles fur- (the most fluffiest, cutest, grumpy, old, ginger cat you had waiting to welcome you home) if it wasn’t for him you probably would have ended up jumping off the bridge near the highway from embarrassment. The tow trucker guy had managed to crack in a few not subtle jabs on the old thing, but seriously it isn’t your fault that you can’t afford a 2020 mercedes benz Sue you! besides you knew jack shit about cars, it wasn't your problem. But that wasn’t even the good part, the mechanic fixing it was a very attractive, very handsome man. Pretty privilege really does exist because you let the shit he said slide, to focus on his handsome figure.

Frankly, you had bigger problems to deal with, like; your job: when the sketches for the new Facebook advertisement were due, what colours would be more appealing to people, how the advertisement should be perceived as funny rather then serious, the difference between maroon and burgundy-god you really had bigger problems. You really hadn’t thought about your engine at all, you just filled your car with gas and drove it to where you needed to throughout the years. When you look back to when you bought it, you grimace,  the whole process was really sketchy. DAMMIT!! You should have taken your dad or hired someone to help you find a suitable low-maintenance car. Yet here you were again, it’s been six months since the first night you got your car towed here and kept coming back whenever there was a slight squeak to it. Some may think you're very passionate and caring for your car, maybe well off since you keep coming in to get unnecessary shit fixed. But that's not the case at all, the secret was…..you were totally, (and delusionally) utterly, in love with the mechanic you’ve seemed to befriend over the months coming here. 

Currently sitting on the stool he pulled out for you, you watch him tweak the engine's air pump while you sigh dreamily. 

He wore denim overalls and a wife-beater underneath, the top of it tied around his tiny waist. You could see the beautiful glaze of his honey muscles, –sinewy lean, and big—skin that glimmered from his sweat. Your imagination grows fast when he squats and the muscles of his thighs bulge slightly, god you were drooling. He was so handsome, tall, muscular, and- “..... Hello?” he called for your attention, the fourth time now..apparently and you blink embarrassed. Slightly jumping at his soft voice, sitting upright, you rise from the stool. “Oh- s- sorry I didn’t hear you” you blushed lightly, feeling your face heat up. 

“Seemed like you were out there” he refers to you dozing off, you chuckle lightly. 

“Something like that” you mumbled, pushing some strands of hair behind your back. He turns to you with a charming smile, a wrench in his veiny grip and you gulp. Your gaze slowly lingers from his tight grip to his face, soft lips pulled upwards into a cute pout, such sweet eyes forming crescents from the effects of his smile, your favourite type of smile. You’ve always wondered how it would feel to poke the little moles underneath his chin, or on top of his lip, maybe stick a finger into his cute dimple. Your fantasies run faster and faster and you almost miss what he says again. 

“I changed the oil and fixed the squeaking, it’s probably gonna happen again and I don't want you to keep coming down here to pay ridiculous money to get it fixed so let me show you,” he waved you over. You frowned,- did he not want to see you anymore?

“Aren’t you supposed to advertise your business and not push away the customers?” You lightheartedly joke while he snorts.

Walking over you stop right in front of him, he was a mere 5 inches taller than you and the smell of oil and cologne wafted up your nose. It was a weird combination but it smelled so good, a little rusty but it was divinely masculine, the type of scent you would want to bury your face into, and sleep and bask in all night. The kind of scent that gives enough comfort and warmth. The scent is laced with maybe Dior perfume, metal rust, and the leftover remnants of cigarettes buds– that he smokes on his breaks.

“Okay see right here this little tube wrapped in the tin?” he asked, gesturing to the engine, you nodded. “You're going to take a wrench and twist it clockwise,” he demonstrates.

“I don't own a wrench,” you deadpan and Jungkook chuckles, he’s very amused to say the least, light airy laughter leaving his lips.

“You can have this one, I have plenty” he smiles cheekily and you almost groan. It was like he was trying to get rid of you, you swear. 

“And then you're done, if it doesn't budge, grease it with the oil you bought last week,” he says and you nod, wanting to stay near his body warmth. He looks down at your pouty lips and places a hand underneath your chin.

“ ‘.....’ this is going to save you money trust me” he reassures–it wasn’t a way of shooing you out he assures. Jungkook was just concerned with your superfluous way of spending your money. He lifts your head up and your heart races a million times faster, breath hitching inside your throat. 

“I know but you would do it for free if I came in, right?” you ask and he giggles, you swore your heart stopped at the airy- supple sound, it was adorable. 

“Yeah, but what if you come in and I'm not here? Then what….. plus coming all this way is a lot,” he reasons and you sigh nodding your head. He was right, it was a lot of time, a lot of money to spend too. Your ulterior motives were not really a subtle secret anymore either, you're sure he is aware of your crush on him. You did spend so much gas money coming here and then money for getting random shit that didn't need fixing to be repaired.

“C’mon don't sulk,” he taps your nose and you finally crack a smile. You loved it when he played with you, cradled your face for any injuries he suspects whenever you come in with a busted mirror or a dented corner of the car. His light touches on your elbow guiding you, or the hovering arm over your lower back that does not creep down in a way to respect you. You want to see him more though, see him watch you, or how your gaze shows twinkles and stars when looking at him, and you know you are not subtle, he even teases you about it from time to time. You want to feel his skin under your palms, on you, under him over him–you're getting carried away.

“Okay but you should come get some lunch with me, if you aren't busy of course, maybe during your break or when your shift is done, or another day if you really busy I don't mind honestly-” you stop rambling to check his reaction, he has a stupid bunny grin on his face, eyes on yours while you heat up from embarrassment. 

You weren't asking him out, you were only asking him to lunch. The last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable, you knew he was not interested in you with the way he approaches you’re mild confessions, or how he ignores the obvious yearning and longing in your gaze. You know he ignored the little twinkles and fairy dust shooting out of your orbs to him because you are so sure that the energy from the power of falling for this man has created this fiery light in your eyes– you can see it yourself. You can feel the weird tension, or maybe it’s just you or he just ignores it really well. Hopefully.

“I finish my shift in an hour, I have a few cars to wrap up and send off…..” He trails off, eyes shifting down to yours. 

He watches the way your face falls, and your body sulk into a frown–he doesn’t want to disappoint you after all, you were so fragile he was afraid of hurting you. “Do you wanna help me and we can go out after?” he asks with a smirk and you feel your heart tug at some strings, the light coming back into your face. You nod eagerly and he mumbles a ‘great’ under his breath.

—

An hour later after helping Jungkook with the cars, (mainly passing him tools and getting him water, when he needed it) you both sit in a little diner near your apartment. It was an 80’s themed diner that had chequered floors and race car seats, funky colours and lighting. Jeon fit right in with his mechanic outfit, but you on the other hand had basic light-washed flare jeans and a basic tube top. You both ordered and talked randomly with one another, it wasn’t your first time going out for a friendly lunch with him, at least that’s what he thought. You both were on a friendly lunch date until one of the waitresses mistakes you both for a couple and Jeon was quick to correct her. You sigh mentally, wishing you could just tell him how you feel, yet another part of you thinks that he knows and that he’s just been ignoring your shameless flirtation. You would never be able to recover from the humiliation of him rejecting you, nor would your heart be able to take the defeat so you settle with being friends, for now—

You behave yourself and eat the food you both ordered in peace, you’d never allow yourself to cross that line; because real life isn’t like the books you read, the images and dreams you have, and people aren't what you make them out to be. You knew this. 

You always looked at the people in your life as the potential they can be, and not for who they truly are. You’ve learned the hard way when you’ve been met with disappointment and a broken heart one too many times. But you couldn't help it, you couldn't help but see people for what they could be, and that in itself shows just how vulnerable you are. You were susceptible when it came to someone else’s feelings and always tried to be as thoughtful and empathic to how someone feels and why they are the way they are, thus making excuses as to their actions.

But then again, you did set up that unrealistic expectation of him long before you had even had a conversation with him. The inner hopeless romantic in you who thinks of life as the galaxy, people as balls of sunshine, and earth as a huge ball of fluff with people who have the potential to be the sun, and the stars. 

The man right in front of you….

Man

Slopingly eating away at his burger, he was the sun in your solar system. You’d like to think he has his own planet, beautiful and soft like him. Maybe on his planet lived cats like Mr. Snuggle Fur and had tulip fields every couple miles you’d walk down it. Water as clear as glass, blueish-green colour, and maybe people as cute and kind-hearted as Jungkook, that resided on that planet. Even though the way he usually dressed was the entire opposite of how he was, you hoped that at least the way you imagined him was just as beautiful as his plant

“Are you gonna finish that?” Jeon asks, pointing to the half-eaten burger you were gonna end up taking home, but with one look at his big doe-eyes you end up pushing the plate towards him. His face instantly brightens, taking a bite out of the burger with a grin on his face.

 He was your favourite planet you’ve decided.

“Thanks,” he smiles, mouth stuffed full of food, you giggle dismissing him with a hand wave. You get the waiter to bring back the check and you see Jungkook’s eyes widen when you pass the card over.

“What are you doing?” his voice is surprised, loud. You grin at him.

“You’ll get the next one,” you simply reply, paying and packing the leftovers. Jeon scoffs, giving you a pout. “I don’t mind paying when it comes to you, as you’ve noticed” you tease and he gives you a playful glare.

A stare that tells you not to go there, and your heart squeezing tightly in your ribcage.

“Let’s get you home, it’s getting late” He walks out, and you trail behind him with a soft smile. Your hearts hurting already.

—

Now back home you decide on a quick shower and to sleep in a t-shirt 4 sizes too big, courtesy of the cheap Walmart men's section. You sigh on your bed, scrolling through the contacts on your phone until you decide to stalk Jeon on Instagram. It was something that you did often, something that was a part of your nightly routine actually- before you would go to bed you would stalk his Instagram account. It was aesthetically pleasing, pictures of him on his motorcycle, or in his garage fixing cars. It was mainly black or white themed–that bad boy dark aesthetic. Occasional pictures of his Doberman running through the grass, and him kissing his mom on the cheek in what looks like a Christmas dinner, with the table set, and a tree in the background.

You smile, the warmth of bubbles brew up in the pit of your stomach, and butterflies erupt inside you tugging on the veins that pump the blood into your heart and down your body. You had such hopeless feelings, ever since he fixed your car at the mechanic shop that night back from your parent's house- you’ve always come back to him. That night he had given you food and his large grey denim jacket to keep you warm while he fixed the boot crack of an engine that you had. You felt oddly warm and safe, even though he was a complete stranger at the time. He joked and talked to you, even drove you home that night in his car because he needed to order some parts for your engine. 

Not to mention he was also completely and utterly hot, so handsome to the point that you think you would die from staring at him for too long, and oh god- oh god his smile was the most divine, heartwarming, pussy clenching, adorable thing in the world. Little bunny teeth, plump bottom lip, faint red-tinted lips stretched into an up-pull direction. God, you were down bad.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

You were back at the auto shop, much to Jungkook’s and your bank account's dismay. Only because he didn’t like you spending money on unnecessary fixes, he knows how anxious you get when your car so much as makes a squeak— scared of getting into an accident with the old junk. Jeon was always expecting you to come by the shop at least once a week, this time complaining about how the wrench he let you borrow wasn’t turning the tinned-covered canister in the engine. Helping you replace it again, he sends you off—curtly nodding his head while you wave, your wide eyes, starry.

They were two brown orbs that he has grown accustomed to, grown used to watching his every move and sometimes let it slip down his body on a hot summer day when he has his frame out of his tank top, or his legs free from the confinements of his overalls. He likes teasing you most times when he invites you to sit on a stool and talk to him while he fixes parts–manoeuvres around the car to assemble, and dismantle. Sometimes he curls his biceps slightly in front of you, tightly wrapping his hand around a wrench that did not need that much force whatsoever. You got flustered easily and he loved to see you pat down the warmth of your hue-tinted cheeks, or hum along to the song all of a sudden—all an act to calm down your beating heart he thinks.

He knows your act of coming here to the shop is to secretly ogle at him, you shamelessly letting out the crush you have on him in other forms—which is pretty obvious anyways—but Jungkook doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t want to embarrass you. Plus he loves your company, and your rambling about your co-workers, the food you bring in, and Mr snuggle Paws or whatever the name of your cat was—he appreciated it all. He valued the friendship you both have seemed to build throughout the months. You were a very wise, smart, beautiful woman—and he’d be damned to think he’s never seen you in that light. You were sexy, yes. But he’s never let his imagination broaden outside the area of this auto shop, the barricades on his heart work extra hard to block out the cute sounds of your giggles, or the way your hand comes up to part your soft curls behind your ear— and the way you ramble about random things in hopes to entertain Jungkook while he works— he found all of these things about you endearing and adorable. This is part of the reason why Jungkook had not tried to initiate a move, a hangout, or anything more than the friendly and respectful hug he parts you with whenever you leave the shop, or whatever restaurant you both choose to eat at once in a while. 

You were dangerous for his heart, he can feel the barbed wires he put on them years ago-loosen from time to time and it only happens in your presence, and the only time he felt the flutters in his stomach and the pulse in his heart quicken was with his ex. The one who has humiliated him broke him and made him barb up his heart to be a clueless fucker who has no hope, no expectation, no interest in love anymore. He didn’t believe that loving someone was enough for anyone, just love is never enough. No one in his eyes had the potential to be worthy of him, but there’s you. You who he thinks may have the potential, maybe. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t want to discover it. He doesn’t want to expect anything from you because he thinks you’ll disappoint him, he thinks that there’s no point if it’s all going to end in the grand scheme of all things. 

Jungkook only fucks, that’s what allows him to satisfy himself and protect his heart, it works for him. Clearly, you are not looking for that, you’re not looking for a quick fuck and he’d rather keep you as a friend than lose you, it is comfortable the way things are now. He knew eventually that you would crack and tell him your feelings, but he only hoped it wasn’t going to be anytime soon. Plus, you deserve better, you deserve better than Jungkook who is 1) a pessimist; he sees the negatives of life, and his thinking is cynical, very opposite from yours. You’re a better person than Jungkook, you see the good in people and think that anyone “bad” can change, and can be “fixed”. But Jungkook didn't want to change, nor did he want to be fixed. Jungkook wanted to be Jungkook…unguarded and free. He didn’t like all that vulnerability shit, he didn't want any of that soft stuff, and he did not want that level of emotional intimacy with anyone ever again. No, he didn’t want that, no one nor you or anyone else can change his mind. 

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

“Oh,” you're dejected, nodding your head at Jimin, Jungkook’s coworker. He told you that Jungkook wasn’t working for the rest of the week, and you now regret not texting him first rather than showing up unannounced and as much as you claim that any amount of money that you spend on Jungkook is worth coming to see him for, you should’ve thought rationally—the gas money it took you to get here from the office was at least worth a brand new pair of work pants from Zara. Smiling softly at Jimin, you bid him a farewell, walking out feeling your embarrassment from your heated skin, almost tripping on your feet on the way out with your head hung low from disappointment. 

“…” You hear your name, the gentle voice had a slight rasp to it this time and slowly your heartbeat quickens as your eyes look up from his combat boots to his face. He was fitted in black cargo pants and a black tee, the black ink also standing out with a new print behind his elbow. You don’t comment on it yet though, your eyes swell up from smiling real hard and at him. The bag you had in your hand came into view and you saw his eyes flick down to the greasy takeout boxes from his favourite restaurant. 

“Jeon, Hi!” you chirp a little loudly, after a beat of silence he breaks into a smile. But his eyes widened again, a little look of guilt, or was it confusion you didn’t know but you broke the awkward silence by holding up the bag again. 

“I thought you were working today and brought some food, I-i’m sorry I probably should have texted you first, but I didn’t want to-” you stop, huffing at your own ramble and Jungkook’s eyes seem to puff up, his grin widening from ear to ear and that seems to calm you down, it brought some sort of comfort to your erratic heartbeat. Oh god, it was beating so hard you just wished he didn’t see it beating out from your chest. Because for one he looks extremely beautiful outside of his work outfit, and two his smile just seems to always brighten up your days. After all, he was a whole beautiful galaxy in your eyes.

“Ahh I wish you texted me I-” he stuttered, walking past you to reach the little cupboards in front of the office you just bided Jimin goodbye from. His voice was a little rushed as he grabbed his forgotten wallet from his desk and stood back in front of you. 

“I- I’m going out right now and” 

“Jungkookie” a voice interrupts him and you can see the look of horror in his eyes flashing with shame and terror. You give him a confused look, you didn’t know why you read that frenzy expression on his face, and why it was there.  Until a girl appears through the doors of the garage and you see him shut his eyes when she grabs onto his bicep, looking over at you. 

“Did you find your wallet?” she asks and you blink up, your heart clenching at the tight grip she has on his arm. You don’t let it show though, you knew that deep down Jungkook had girls lining up for him, he was just that kind of guy. You twist the bag back behind your frame and Jungkook’s eyes flick from your hands to your eyes, he’s watching you carefully as if he was concerned about you.

“Yeah, yeah I did,” he says, clearing his throat awkwardly. The woman was beautiful, she had long blonde hair, clad in a cute red sundress that showed off her well-built long legs, and her bright smile that could probably light up anyone's world, maybe it already lit up Jungkook’s world, just like his own smile did to yours.

“Oh hi, Celeste” she introduces herself, and outstretches her hand, you shake it, giving her a wide smile. You didn’t want Jungkook to know that slowly your heart was tugging apart inside, and that bile was probably rising up and had the sudden urge to vomit out your stomach's contents of breakfast and coffee. 

“…” you introduce yourself and Jungkook gives you a tight lip smile his nystagmic eyes missed nothing, but you also avoid them, avoid his being while Celeste beams about the garage and the random Corvette that’s being fixed up. Easing into some easy-going conversations, and more small talk about the party they're going to attend after, meanwhile, your heart clenched and twisted with a wicked feeling of jealousy, eyes zeroing in on her hand on Jungkook’s bicep. It looked natural like it was the millionth time she was doing this and you didn’t how much longer you could take it, seeing him with someone else. 

“I- ’m going to go now, I hope you guys have a good time at the party,” you uttered after you all chatted for a while, and Jungkook’s eyes softened at the tight expression on your face–a lacklustre smile on your lips, he can see right through you, he knows you're disappointed, upset- but not angry. 

“Wait, you should totally come, it’ll be a good time,” she suggests and you flinch slightly, looking over at Jungkook who gives you a tight smile, almost as if he was uncomfortable with the idea because his lips primed, and his brows knitted into a frown. You chuckle uneasily, waving your hand in a dismissive way before turning your head away from them a moment.

“Oh c’mon, it’ll be fun and if you know Jungkookie here im sure you’ll get along with the others at the party” You almost vomit from the nickname, the very cute and intimate nickname that falls from her mouth naturally, her hand rubbing his bicep in a soothing manner. Your face heats up from frustration and embarrassment because Jungkook clearly did not want you to accept yet you open your mouth to accept, giving Jungkook one last glance that has you nervously nipping at the bottom of your lip. 

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

You're on the sidewalk, nervous and jittery from entering the three-story home overflowing with people inside and out, bobbleheads scattered all over the top terrace to the front yard. Red cups are held in everybody’s hand, either filled with alcohol or any pop of their choice, but the way drunken bodies move and shout has you thinking of the latter option. Your bottom lip is tucked underneath your teeth, bare legs stuck to the ground as you contemplate the house, you didn't know what you were doing here, to be honest. 

Jungkook definitely did not want you there, you were absolutely terrified of entering this stranger's party, and Celeste was probably just trying to be nice by inviting you yet you had bitter feelings towards her. What were you trying to prove? Show Jungkook that you were better than her, dressed into a tight crochet dress you’ve decided to borrow from your friend, about to step into a sea of people you didn't know and the only person that did– clearly showed his disinterest in wanting you there. 

The look on his face showed his frustration and apprehension in not wanting you at the party as if he had something to hide, but that gave you all the push to come, maybe prove to him that you are as cool and as beautiful as Celeste. You wanted to mingle with his friends and converse with others to show Jungkook that you could fall in with his crowd.

Underneath all the nervousness and stress you are feeling, you feel a little brave and confident in the quite revealing, short dress, hair locks cascading down your back with glittery makeup on to emphasize your features. You hoped that if you were to approach Jungkook tonight that he would drop his mouth open, maybe discreetly look you up while you talk and enjoy yourself. You just want to show Jungkook how cool you could be, you could show him what he could have instead and in a perfect world, he would finally realize his feelings for you and come running to hug your waist and bury his boyish face into your neck, telling you how much he loves you.

 But this isn’t a perfect world, clearly when the first thing you see is a girl sitting on Jungkook’s lap on the couch when you walk in, and that girl was not Celeste but rather a brunette wearing a backless top. 

Your blink back pathetic tears, as you shift from one foot to the other. You were at a safe enough distance for them not to notice you but you also felt like throwing up, felt your heart shatter even harder than before because of one thing you never thought Of course Jungkook would turn out to be a fuck boy. A boy who flies through girls easily, bedding and dipping fast. What did you expect?

You figured that out by deciding to stay unnoticed at the party for a couple of hours, waiting for a time that he wasn’t occupied with shoving his tongue down someone’s throat. You counted at least 3, 4, maybe 5 women who had successfully approached him to share spit, your breaking point was when he decided to take the last girl upstairs, where the rooms were and you swore you could have met his eyes for a second as well, but you were quick to rush out that door and back into your car, steadying your breathing.

Pathetic of you to think that Jungkook was the soft and sweet boy you thought, you saw him smirk your way when he had the last girl on his lap, probably sensing your gaze on him finally he decided to hook her legs up to his waist and carry her up the stairs, putting a show on for you, it's as if he was mocking you. You could feel your heart detach itself from your chest, tears streaming down the face that you spent beating up the last two hours. 

A tiny scoff leaves your lips, mind replaying that stupid devilish smirk on his stupidly handsome face.

He knew what he was doing, clearly.

How naive and in your head, you were to think that maybe just maybe Jungkook would have feelings for you and surely you thought that his actions and kind-heartedness towards you were special but seeing the way he held and softly caressed other girls, playing with their hair–showed that you would never be one of those girls. You want to be more than that though. 

He was a good man, he would never intentionally hurt you and you blame yourself for your tears–if only you told him if only you sat him down and talked to him about your undying love. But then again, it’s been months of dropping hints and months of flirting with him surely he would know you had feelings for him? Would he really deliberately hurt you like this?

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Jungkook couldn’t believe that when he woke up the next morning he was still at the party, sweat running down his back and neck making his skin sticky and gross. As he looked around he was all alone in the bed groaning when he saw the pair of panties on the nightstand with a little handwritten note beside him (Call me sometime ;)!) a phone number attached. Grudgingly he got up and threw out the note, grumbling in disgust, he managed to make it out the front door fully dressed, with his car perfectly intact and parked in the driveway. Looking back at the house small memories started coming back to him and your face flashed right through his mind, in that pretty little skimpy dress. Short that it almost flashed your ass with every step you took, catching the attention of all the boys at the party. 

He scoffed at the memory, especially when he remembered the way your face broke out into horror every time you saw him with a different girl each time that night. Honestly, he was hoping you hadn’t come to the party just so you didn’t see that side of him. That side of him that he hasn’t matured and grown out of.  You were probably hurt you weren't one of them, probably jealous of the girls he had kissed and fucked but he’s glad you weren’t one of them.

He would never disrespect you like that, if he was going to do things with you he would do it right. He would do it right as in take you out on several dates, confessing his love, and hopefully make you his girlfriend by the end of it. That’s the right way, the morally good and safe way to do things. He thinks that’s what you would have wanted, that's what you would have expected from him. But Jungkook doesn’t want that, he doesn’t like pre-planned things, he doesn’t like expectations, nor does he like the idea of being tied down. 

But above all Jungkook doesn’t want to hurt you, hurt the fragile soul of yours that preplans and expects and sees the world in all shades of rainbows and unicorns. Call him a little cynical, a pessimist, (he is) but Jungkook likes the unexpected spontaneous nature of life that randomly brang what belonged to him when he needed it. He liked for things to fall in place and although to a certain extent, he should put in some work for what he wanted he knew that he didn’t want anything romantic to do with anyone right now. Maybe he should let you know then to keep letting your hopes up, but something so gut-wrenching and heart-shattering about seeing you hurt that Jungkook didn’t like. He lived to see the colour in your face, your enthusiasm and the way you’d go hours and hours talking about everything and anything.

And since Jungkook is so convinced that you both would be better off as friends than romantic lovers, why does he have this terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach when he doesn’t see you for the next month? He doesn’t get the bubbly feeling and breath knocked out of him when he sees you walk in with one of your sundresses, only disappointment and beer bellies walking into his shop. He sighs, frustration clear on his face while he tightens the bolts on the bottom of the engine.

Jimin takes cautious notice of his mood throughout the weeks, he watched his eyes always flicker to the door whenever the bell chimes and the disappointment that settled into his eyes after, tells Jimin that maybe he’s looking out for a special chatty bird.

“What’s with you?” Jimin asks, nudging him on the shoulder.

“What’s with what?” faux disinterest laced in his tone.

“You have this sadness oozing out of you and I think it may have something to do with our favourite little customer huh?” he says with a grin and Jungkook chuckles.

“Is it that obvious?” he scoffs and Jimin shrugs.

“Yeah I mean, she hasn’t come in a while and your eyes practically jump to the door every time it chimes,” he treads, and Jungkook groans.

“She won’t answer my texts either, nothing” Jungkook sighs, wiping his oiled hands on his overalls.

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing”

“What’d you do Jungkook.”

“Seriously I don’t know, I’m confused myself,” Jungkook sighs.

“Managed to already hurt her feelings?” Jimin treads around the topic, not wanting to anger Jungkook but also get it out of him. 

He knows your little innocent crush on his friend here, he knows you come in to fix every little thing (although unnecessary really) just to see Jungkook. He knows how Jungkook rolls, he wouldn’t be into the stuff where you date and do all the sappy shit— he didn’t like expected romance, he was more into hookups and spontaneous fucks something you obviously weren’t made for.

“What you think I did something?” He scoffs and Jimin sighs. “She’s just sensitive, she probably saw me with someone at the party, and I didn’t want her to come in the first place but she did and she ended up seeing shit she didn’t like” Jungkook blurts and Jimin hums.

The truth summarised. 

“So really I did nothing, she showed up and she didn’t like what she saw” he shrugs, and Jimin scoffs.

“Why didn’t you want her there?” Jimin asks and Jungkook really wishes he didn’t ask that because he knew the answer. He knew he didn’t want you there because he had a fear of disappointing you and showing you the side of him that he secretly hates, the side where he made out with multiple women and fucked carelessly and to make matters worse he made sure it was in front of you.

Why did he care what you think of him? He doesn’t know and quite frankly he didn’t want to get into that variegated emotions and thoughts because now was not the time. He really thought that the best way of getting you away from him was to hurt you and he knows he did because he saw all the tears slip out of your eyes when you hastily wiped them away at the sight of Jungkook taking another woman upstairs to fuck, he knew by the way you hurriedly scurried out the door in the skimpy little adorable dress that you probably wore just for him. 

Jungkook knew what you felt in your heart, you were very easy to read and he wasn’t dumb. You're pretty predictable and now he regrets not walking up to you normally instead of forcing his tongue down a random woman's throat to purposely hurt you.

Why? He couldn't tell you.

You deserved more, he wanted you to know you deserved more and maybe you finally realized that Jungkook was horrible and that it wasn't worthwhile having a crush on him but why does the lack of you in his life sting his heart. Why does it leave a bitter taste on the back of his tongue, and he can’t shake you out of his mind? 

Jesus

He knew he grew accustomed to your company, he knew that much was true yet when you didn’t show up to the shop as your bubbly old self and did not answer his texts…. has him feeling like shit.

“I didn’t want her there because that wasn’t her type of thing” he answers after a long pause and Jimin gets busy with his task in hand, screwing up the tire in place.

“Uh-huh,” he said off-puttingly and Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Oh nothing…it’s just that—-You’re a shitty fucking person Jungkook” Jimin chuckles.

“How?” he asks

“Because you’re not honest with yourself, so you end up hurting people for no reason” he shrugs and his shoulder slump.

“You know she likes you, she’s harboured harmless feelings for you over a course of months and she cares for you, yet you end up treating her like shit when she dresses up for you and shows up to a party only to see you deliberately shove your tongue down throats in front of her because you wanted her to ‘back off,” Jimin huffs, air quoting “back-off” with his fingers and Jungkook suddenly feels exposed. A chilling and unsettling feeling rumbled from his chest.

“You don’t even want her to back off, I know you like her back just as much but you just self-sabotage because of your past but guess what Jungkook,” Jimin pauses, hands up to show his frustration.

“ ‘...’ isn’t Sora. You don’t always have to have this facade of smugness and nonchalance. It isn't attractive anymore,” Jimin spat when he finished his job, rubbing his hands with the towel as he walked back into the break room, leaving Jungkook to simmer inside his thoughts.

Damn

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

There is a foundation; eating, sleeping, and the occasional exercise that science proves helps our quality of life. Physically, these are all fundamental elements that help us live a long and fulfilling life (mostly), yet as you grow older and older you no longer depend on your parents to tie your shoes for you and start to form your own perspective on life, and what is most important to you. You realise there is more to life than just being, you no longer want to live for the purpose of living so you go out and find it. 

You go out and seek the purpose for what you’ve been placed in this cruel world for, and somewhere along the journey, you start longing and yearning for something that is out of your reach. You create an unrealistic romanticized version of life in your subconscious mind. Outlets such as books, poetry, and movies may portray these very impractical ways of life in such beautiful and, again, (unrealistic) perspectives, which in the end can conflict with your conscious mind when you come face to face with these scenarios in reality and you’re left unsatisfied.

You expect and set life on this high pedestal to only then realize…. that life is much more complicated and disappointing. Depressing even to comprehend just how hard it is to live, just how hard it is to show vulnerability, to talk about feelings–to show them, to love, to accept, to forgive, to grieve.

It’s hard, truly.

That’s what Jungkook thinks you do, he thinks you’re so bubbly and energetic– so hopeful because you think of life as this big cloud of unicorn dust and stars that shine brighter than the sun.

He sees the hopefulness in the roundness of your eyes, and the adoration that they carry; so much adoration. Especially for him, and it scares the absolute shit out of him. He wishes he didn’t see life from a more cynical view, call him pessimistic but Jungkook would rather already have disappointment set into him like a wired robot and expect the worst of every situation than have that hopeful naive stare you have in your shimmery eyes, expecting everything to go the way you make things out to be only to be left pained in the end.

Yeah…hurt and pained.

Jungkook was always hyper-fixated on being disappointed in the grand scheme of all things, and he only believed that he could feel this way. He could only be the one disappointed but when he sees your lone self sitting in the diner you brought him over for lunch a couple of months ago, chewing on a lame piece of fry, eyes tired and looking down into your milkshake he stiffens.

Visibly, Jimin notices and follows his line of vision, eyes landing on your form that carelessly runs through fries and the book you have on your lap. You seem tranquil, a vibe that neither Jimin nor Jungkook can wrap their heads around but when your head lifts up and your eyes scan the room you finally find his eyes. And Jungkook winces at the loss of joy and passion in them for him. It’s like the fire that kept burning in them full of love and hope was lit out. He half expects you to look back down at your book and avoid him, forgetting that you ever saw him but when you shyly wave and shoot him a smile Jungkook doesn’t think but walks towards your booth–which he now realises is the very same one you both sat in the last time.

“Hey,” you greet, voice hoarse and still soft. Jungkook was lost just staring at you, his eyes dancing across your dainty figure and locking in on the new tattoo on your forearm. It wasn’t big but it was big enough to notice right away, a cute star with a soft circle ringing around it.

“Hey babe, how’s it going?” Jimin asks concern laced in his voice as your eyes softly crinkle from smiling too hard at the pet name. Jungkook stares, heart beating faster as he hears the tired strain in your voice, you seem sunken and look smaller than before. Your eyes don't shine as bright and the glee in your voice was gone.

“Oh I got my car broken into, and my phone was stolen so sorry I didn’t see any of your messages” You blush lightly, your voice growing softer at the end. That explains why you haven’t answered any of his texts and why you didn’t return any of his calls. But he was still trying to figure out what had happened to your energy.

“You taking care of yourself?” Jungkook finally speaks up and your eyes look back and forth,` unable to hold the contact as you clear your voice and look away.

“Yeah, im doing well” You muster a smile and gesture for both of them to join you in the booth.

….

You exchanged your new number with Jimin and Jungkook, walking out of the booth after catching up. You decided to sell your car and invest in another you told them.

The cold breeze of the air kicks in as the moon farewells the sun— and darkness completely takes over the swirl of orange and pink that has painted the sky. Jimin wishes you both a good night and Jungkook lingers a bit longer by your car, looking at you.

“Let me drive you back home” he suggests with a small smile, “You’ve had some drinks” he explains and you chuckle lightly.

“Uhh it’s pretty far Jungkook, how would you get back?” you ask and Jungkook takes the keys from your hand.

“I'll bus back” He smiles and you nod, heart fluttering a million times harder inside the tight confinement of your chest.

Missing Jungkook was an understatement, you’ve done nothing but flaunter your interest in him and shower him with all your attention and love in the past. All you wanted was for him to either reject you or accept you. He was confusing, and although deep down your love for him rapidly grew like wildfire in your heart, the same love that he had shrugged off. The same love that he takes advantage of and deliberately strung along just for his own vile entertainment and pleasure, just for his ego to be nourished from time to time again is the same love…… that realized that you deserved better.

In the grand scheme of all things you had realized that Jungkook could never give you want and need, he won't ease your heart by reassuring you nor would he give you the love you deserve, the stability you deserve. 

And instead of wasting your time chasing after him, who clearly has different motives and different goals for his future, you decided to finally set him free, take a step back, and explore other options in your life.

The least you could do to guard your heart against his cruel ways.

When you’re cute coworker started taking interest in you, you decided to go on a few dates with him over the past month. You weren’t official yet but he made you happy, he truly did. He was the softest most kind-hearted boy, that’s what you used to think Jungkook was or wished he was like.

You idealized Jungkook, you’ve built such unrealistic standards of him and put him on the highest pedestal that you could possibly find. The tattoos, his body, and luscious raven hair were all a blinding vision, all romanticization.

And you feel guilty for doing that, which is why you had stopped coming to see him for a while. You had to clear your mind and stop being a delusional little 13-year-old. You’re a grown 25-year-old woman who has a career, and a promising future. You wanted to get married have children and do the unimaginable most basic cliche things in between. You realized that waiting around for Jungkook would set you back. 

This doesn’t mean you regret the past year of pinning and being whipped after him, you genuinely had a fun time but the sooner you realized the harsh reality, the softer the blow would be, and you wouldn't have to go through a traumatic heartbreak. Or you hoped.

The ride to your house is ghost quiet, only the bustling horns of cars and skyline and street lights illuminate the car, casting a beautiful shimmer onto his face. The soft tune of Sabrina Claudio playing on the radio, humming along quietly as you look out the window.

“Time will be frozen….for us” you sing lowly, and Jungkook takes a second to look at your side profile, a smile growing on his lips.

“You have a nice voice,” he compliments and you giggle shyly, staying quiet and humming along some more. 

You soon arrive at your condo, he parked your car in the garage. You invite him over for some food and made some pasta for the both of you silently eating on your kitchen island, conversation flowing slightly awkwardly with little pauses in between to rack your brain for topics. You could tell he was treading carefully, tentatively and hyperaware. You can see it in the way he speaks between pauses, and actions so timid it’s so unlike him.

“This dress is really pretty,” his hands tug lightly at the laces on the end, skimming your upper thigh lightly. You smile, patting the short piece of fabric down your thighs and Jungkook licks his lips. Eyes land on the white lace garter around your left thigh, catching a sight of it by accident when you hike it up your thigh.

He raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat as you lightly smirk. Suddenly the tensions in the air change, and you lean in closer.

“Thanks, I got it as a gift last week,” you smile, absentmindedly sighing at the way Yoongi bought you the dress to wear for their date, he was supposed to come over later tonight, so you desperately wished to get rid of Jungkook as soon as possible. 

“Are you going to bus back soon, it’s getting late,” you move your body away from his, taking the opportunity to clean the dishes while putting space between the two of you. He lingered confused, staring at you intently as if in deep thought, you can see from your peripheral vision. All of a sudden the air around the both of you got thick, and your heartbeat picked up as soon as he came around beside you, helping you dry the dishes.

“Why am I not welcome anymore?” He jokes, setting the plates down on the drying rack. He slowly trails behind you, trapping both of his arms on either side of your body, leaning his head in slowly and you anticipate the feeling of his body flushed against you but it never comes. Jungkook paused, too busy staring at the bruising mark on your neck, his heart twisting uncomfortably.

Were you seeing someone? Is that why you stopped coming to see him for the past couple of months? He feels anger rising but subdued when you turn around, face inches away from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask and Jungkook scoffs, a bitter chuckle escaping his mouth as he takes a step back.

“If you want me to leave because your little boyfriend’s coming soon, you could’ve just said so” he tuts, and your eyes widen.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you say defensively, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

Jungkook crosses his arms, mockingly mirroring your pouty lips, “You don’t have to be so coy, just tell me to leave,” he says, and your eyes widen, your patience running thin as your blood boils in anger.

Who did he think he is?

Jungkook wanted you to tell him to leave, he wanted to prove a point. Show yourself that you still like him still. But what surprised him was the little smirk on your face, your arms suddenly crossing over to mirror his own and the way you gesture to the door with a tilt of your head.

This was it? Had you truly moved on…? Isn’t this what Jungkook wanted all along though? Why was his heart shattering inside his chest and the air suddenly felt warmer and thin around him? 

Why was the new glint of realization and unhinged gleam in your eyes bothering the fuck out of him. God damn it your eyes shined so much brighter and glowed a thousand times shinier than the moon could have whenever you saw him.

That used to always put his heart at ease, feeling wanted, he loved being desired. Especially when you would stare at him for hours and trace the tattoos along his arms, buy him food and talk his ear off. 

Why was that all gone from the look in your eyes, he felt the coldness in your stare probably caught on to the arrogance his words held, and the smugness he carried himself with.

So he’s surprised when he hears what he hears next.

“Please leave Jungkook, I have someone coming over,” you smile.

You didn’t let him get what he came for, you didn’t let him shatter your self-confidence, nor did you let him fill you with self-doubt. You're a changed woman….

——

Min Yoongi was a special man, a special man that held a special part in your heart. You’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months, and ever since he asked you to be his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago you’ve been head over heels. 

Driving him crazy by drowning him in kisses, and hugs, making him food at unprecedented times of the day and taking it over to him at the university he teaches at.

He was a physics professor, at the age of 30 living in a downtown complex just half an hour away from you(depending on traffic) and although the way you met was kind of unconventional you both had hit it off quite well.

He was the kindest, sweetest man ever, always so thoughtful of you, always treating you with the utmost respect and kindness you deserve. Ever since the last night you’ve seen Jungkook a month ago, the memory of him started fading away slowly, your heart healing and filling your mind with new and fonder memories. 

Like right now, sitting on Yoongi’s lap while he inspects your broken laptop, trying to fix the crashed document for you.

Smiling at him you hear him groan and you coo, kissing his cheek multiple times while he shuts down your computer again to refresh it.

“Baby, I think you need a new computer,” he sighs, taking off his glasses and finally giving you the attention you’ve asked for all night.

You kiss his lips, holding the sides of his face gently while he giggles. “It’s okay, as long as I have you,” you smile stupidly and Yoongi feels his chest tightening with love, butterflies pooling at the bottom of his stomach.

“Plus you can just use my computer for the time being,” he suggests and you nod, burying your head in the solace that was his neck, relaxing the rest of the afternoon in his embrace.

——

“Jimin, your customer is here to pick up his Audi,” Jungkook calls in from the reception area, sharing a brief smile with the young man dressed in a sharply tailored suit, raven hair and mullet cut. He was shorter than him and scrawnier but nonetheless, you could see his biceps buff and curl into the stretched material of his dress shirt. 

Jimin wipes the grease off his hands and onto his jumper, breaking out into a big grin as he shakes his hand. “Ahh Yoongi, good to see you,” he beams and Yoongi bows politely.

“Enough is my car fixed? No more leakage diarrhea?” He jokes with a quizzed eyebrow, earning a chuckle from him. 

“Nah no more liquid shit, let me show you,” he takes him to his car and Jungkook shakes his head with a smile on his lips. He had helped fix the diarrhea problem in the Audi, almost in the shop for a month as they had to wait for a piece they ordered to come. Apparently, his girlfriend has been giving him rides to work and back for the past couple of weeks.

Jungkook washed his hands, running a hand through his now short hair, and eyes trained on his phone, checking out the new sneaker shop downtown to try and visit and get Jimin a gift for his upcoming birthday.

He’s throwing a pool party at his parent's mansion, them being gone for the next couple of weeks. He booked a dj, and bartender and Invited a shit ton of people because according to his own words:

“You only turn 25 once, that’s halfway to the 50 and wrinkly old man that I’ll be” He justified his expensive irrational blow of money.

“Yoongi!” Jungkook hears, he knows this voice way too well. Familiar with the soft rasp to it, and the kindness of every syllable, he regrets it but he looks up. Finding you clad in a beautiful yellow sundress, the one that you wore that one time you came to visit and bring  him lunch, ready to spill about the contents of your day to him.

Your eyes hold a little surprise to them when you spot him and Jungkook wished the whole world swallowed him whole while he stared at you his heart started wildly beating, a specific clench on the left side as he regards your beautiful self. 

You have a life back in your eyes, a certain light and beam in the shines of your irises and his mind switches into a hopeful thought before he sees you look behind him and wave at the young gentlemen through the glass, talking to Jimin.

You look back at him, a certain softness to your eyes as you regard him and walk up closer. “It’s been so long Jeon, Hi,” you say, and Jungkook gulps when he waits for a beat longer to respond; stunned that you are really here, standing here talking to him, especially after the last time you both spoke.

“I’m good,” he responds, eyes glancing between your eyes and lips, then at the tattoo on your forearm. The little star with the winged circle, he assesses it, never had a chance to ask you about it. You slipped through his fingers faster than he would’ve liked. 

You nod, a frown replacing your face when he looks back at his phone, trying to ignore your presence. But really his heart was beating way too fast for his liking, heart clenching in pain and longing….regret.

You disappointedly turn away, a smile right back on your face when Yoongi comes back out with his car keys, he pulls you into his embrace, lingering a kiss on the top of your head.

Jungkook notices this and blinks owlishly.

What did he fucking miss?

“‘….’” Jimin says your name, a surprised gasp leaving his lips when he sees the interaction and in a split second he sends a knowing look to Jungkook, a smirk attached to his gaze.

Jungkook rolls his eyes and continues to watch you catch up with Jimin, blabbering about life and decisions and thinking of moving into the city. He didn’t really hear much because his gaze was on the way your handheld Yoongi’s thumb, squeezing it lightly in nervousness he thinks because you used to do that with him a lot. He grows more irritated when he sees the way you subtly lean your head onto his bicep and seek warmth and comfort in his embrace. Your eyes look everywhere and when they meet him again Jungkook decides to not look away holding your gaze with a pained look on his face you decide to send him a small smile and look away, leaning into Yoongi even further which makes Jungkook furious.

“I’ll send you the address, and don’t bring gifts, it's a no-gift birthday party,” he raised a finger in a warning and you giggled with a roll of your eyes.

“Whatever you say,” you sing, and leave hand in hand with Yoongi once you all exchange goodbyes.

Silence overtakes the garage, Jungkook’s eyes stay on the door that you just left from and finally looks away when Jimin chuckles—throwing an arm over Jungkook’s shoulder.

He sighs dreamily, rather dramatically Jungkook thinks, “If only you weren’t a fucking asshole that could’ve been you, lover boy,” he slaps his shoulder and Jungkook raises his arm, pushing Jimin off but he runs away with a squeal before Jungkook could slap him.

He comes back after a fit of giggles, “But man I hope you're okay,” he says more seriously giving Jungkook a sad smile.

“I’m fine,” he shrugs, showing indifference but the beating of his heart and the croak in his voice betray his words.

——

A beer in hand and other on his phone as he mindlessly scrolls through his feed, he enjoys the bustle outside of the party and the serene calm sound of waves crashing against each other at the terrace of Jimin’s parent's room. 

The party had started a couple of hours ago, not even halfway there as people mingle and talk. He even spotted you, a cute little two-piece clad on your curves. They had little sunflowers on them, small pathetic excuses of triangles covering your nipples but he could imagine the perky pebbles in his face as they erected through the material. The bottom half had a cute see-through mini skirt as a cover-up that covered the bikini yet exposed everything at the same time. 

You looked really good, and when you found his gaze you had sent him a small smile waving a little. But he had looked away escaping out to the terrace to stop himself from thinking about you. To bask in his own misery.

He couldn’t take the sight of you lovingly sitting on Yoongi’s lap, playing with his hair while he conversed around, a beer in his hand while he sat sprawled out on one of the lawn chairs. You had those love-sick eyes that he loved seeing yet he only realized he loved them when they were on him.

You whispered and kissed him lovingly, giggling into his neck as his hands held your hips.

Was he really that fucking funny?

He watched the way he teasingly released the strings on the side of your bathing suit and you gasped and slapped his arm away, quick to tie it back up.

He wished it were him.

Fuck,

He wished he didn’t fuck up, yet here he is fucking up even the friendship you possibly could have had but he cold-shouldered you every time you try and show any kindness, or start a conversation.

He sighs laying on his back while his bicep covers his eyes from the blaring sun, trying to clear his thoughts away from you. He needed to stop thinking of you before he tried to jump off the terrace…

It was indeed an enticing idea at this moment.

Limbs barely contained himself at the mere thought of you having him wanting to torture himself in all kinds of ways. And when he feels the weight of the door to the terrace close shut, a heavy sigh escapes him ready to tell the person occupying his peace to fuck off.

But the words die inside his throat and shove back down into his esophagus when he sees you standing there with a credulous look on your face. Your dainty bikini and mesh skirt that barely covers anything flows with the wind, and your hair also blows in the direction the gust is coming from. 

You look ethereal Jungkook thinks, standing there all meek with a guilty look on your face, looking prettier than ever and that’s when he catches himself slipping, a smile almost etched himself onto his lips and he’s quick to turn away and clear his throat. 

A practiced scowl takes over and he looks back at you again. 

“What?” He asks, he even grimaces when it comes out a bit more aggressively than he intended to, and he feels his heart tug at the pained expression on your face. 

He was angered all of a sudden, it was because of your presence that he was escaping the pool and when he finds you here again it just did something to him.

All the feelings and constant regret, the doubts and fears, what if’s all clouding his mind in an array of emotions either through sadness and agony, or jealousy and anger.

He decided that he feels both when it comes to you, he feels everything when it comes to you and he hates himself for the wrong timing of his realization because Jungkook is beyond repair, and damaged the foundations of your friends so easily, what makes him think he had a chance to get to any level of a relationship with you now that he’s acted like such an asshole towards you?

Jeon Jungkook, ladies and gentlemen.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt I just wanted to get the donut floaty…” you trail off and your face suddenly starts getting warm from the embarrassment you feel from the exaggerated bored expression on his face. If a look could make you cry, it would be the one on his face right now.

“Or never mind I’ll come back for it-” You turn around and roll your eyes.

“You can grab it, I don’t care,” he says, laying back down on his back, glancing up at the clear sky.

You mutter out a weak ‘okay’ and quickly dig through the pile of junk in the corner near Jungkook’s chair. 

Fuck, Jungkook thinks taking a glance at you only to see you bent down, ass puckered out, bikini barely covering your nether region and he uses all the strength in him to look away.

“Can you find it any faster?” He grumbles, getting up to help you search for the damn floaty just so you can get out of here and he doesn’t have your presence interrupting his sulking thoughts…. of well…..you.

“I got it Jungkook you can sit back down,” you sigh, and he mutters curse words underneath his breath cursing whichever wicked person decided to let the fucking universe let this moment happen. 

Once you find the floaty Jungkook also realized he’s also grabbed a part of it, bringing it up at the same time as you, and it’s when you face him that he notices the close proximity between the both of you. You have a sharp stare aimed right at him and Jungkook moves in closer, eyes challenging yours while he slowly bends down to your level.

You breathe out a scoff when he’s near and Jungkook licks his lips, and it’s as if time freezes when he sees the same action of your tongue darting out that he has a small spark of hope lit off inside of him. The hurtful want in his heart tugging him towards you until he’s breathing you in, eyes casting down your face until the worst thing he deemed to be in the ENTIRE WORLD happens.

“Baby did you find the float!” 

Your boyfriend calls out, voice closer to the terrace and you scramble away from Jungkook, pushing at his chest gently while you manage to grasp the floaty in your hands.

“Yes Yoongi I’m coming,” you yell back, pausing at the door for a moment and Jungkook hopes with his whole heart that you turn around. Because if you do then the spark of hope in him…will ignite, it will give him the courage to try again.

But when you linger around longer than usual he sees you walk off without turning back for a single glance his way.

Damn.

———

Jungkook doesn’t see you for the next couple of months, randomly only getting updates from you on your Instagram that he stalks way too often than he should be. It was a guilty pleasure of his reality, it was his way of checking in on you without having to text you and he thought it was safer that way.

It was safer for his heart, and to save himself from embarrassment. But when Jungkook got off the clock today, showered and ready in bed to continue with his daily stalking, he noticed something different on your page. Something was missing and after staring at it for so long he realized the annoying lovesick hand-holding and disgustingly cute couple picture you had up of you and Yoongi—we’re all gone. Not even that you had taken down all your selfie picture he would stare at for hours, but that didn’t kill his mood. 

He was so beyond happy to see that maybe- just maybe you and Yoongi had broken up. Why else would you take down those photos? And every other selfie you had posted between the time period of you two dating. He wonders what’s changed, eager to know what had happened but Jungkook takes this as a sign from god and decides to send you a simple text, something not out of the ordinary. Maybe he shouldn’t consider how things went the last couple of encounters he’s had with you but what can he do?

The only girl he’s ever truly loved and cared for had finally learned her worth and moved on from him.

Ironic of him, truly

Wow he really was a shitty person.

To put things in that perspective Jungkook winces at the way he treated you, he strung you along, embarrassed you, and you took a strike to your dignity because of him.

He claimed that was because he wasn’t ready, or that his past relationship had haunted him, but really…Jungkook loved the attention. He loved it so he sometimes indulged in it, not really thinking about how it would have affected you in the long run.

You: ‘Sorry who is this?’

Had you really deleted his number?

JayKay: ‘It’s Jungkook’

You: ‘Oh uhh… sure we can meet up

His heart races in his chest, cheeks blazing as he finally gets to see you again. Maybe he’d apologize.

Hopefully.

JayKay: ‘Tomorrow I get off at noon, come by and we’ll grab some lunch :)?’

You: ‘Sure’

Jungkook can only hope that you accept the apology that he provides and hopefully his heart.

——

How Jungkook finds himself buried between your legs, your hands wrapped into his black locks while he madly eats at your cunt, he has no idea. But he sure does love the way you whine and sing soft moans out for him, head thrown back while you try and stay seated on the passenger seat of the car he was currently fixing, kneeling on the floor, legs half out the door and on his shoulders.

Shit, he didn’t know his form of apology would come in this way. 

But it just happened.

He holds your thighs open, tongue dipping out to softly lick and tease your folds, come back up to see your cunt spread open, flushed and glistening with his saliva spread so good, he groans.

“God I’ve been wanting to know what you tasted like for so long,” he groans, eyes still admiring his coat of spit on your warm cunt.

“Oh please Jungkook,” you moan, and he smiles coming up to quickly peck you as he gathers the saliva around his teeth, mouth pouting out a spike of spit and it lands straight onto your clit.

“Oh yes!” you pant, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel the spit run down your cunt and onto your ass. Jungkook dives right back in, taking both his hands to spread open your folds and nudge his tongue in, shaking his head to also nose at your clit. Your legs shake at the intense pleasure and all of a sudden you feel the sudden knot in your lower stomach form. 

“Oh fuck yes!” You moan out loud, and Jungkook takes this opportunity to come up for air and latch onto your clit, deeming you wet enough to plunge two fingers in. He moved in vampire speed, the soft moans and loud strings of his name only spurring him on, feeling your cunt gush and flutter every few seconds has him riled up in his overalls.

“Needed you for so long, now you're falling apart all over my tongue,” he moans into your cunt, indulging in your taste a little longer until he pulls his fingers out and detaches his mouth from your cunt with one last kiss to it.

“Fuck, stand up”  he says with a grin and disheaveled hair, you got up wobbling on your feet and Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist.

He tugs you closer and cups his other hand around your jaw, kissing your lips with a fierce passion that has your stomach turning and aching with want, butterflies fly throughout your bodies and onto each other clashing with the lacklustre of unsaid emotions between you two: ultimately making this moment even more passionate.

Fuck Jungkook thinks, hands now gripping your waist in an attempt to pull you flush against his pelvis and when you whimper into the kiss he detached himself with one final suck on your tongue and a slow bite on your bottom lip, eyes fiercely gazing down into your own. 

“Fuckkk you're so pretty,” he whispers, eyes skimming down your face, swollen lips, puffy cheeks and you smile coyly, shyly shoving at his chest for the compliment. 

“Come here,” he grins sitting inside the passenger seat of the car, reclining the chair all the way down before he gestures for you to come sit on him.

You throw your legs around his body, straddling him as his hands travel down and grab the flesh of your ass to scoot you closer.

“I didn’t mean my lap babe,” he smirks, and you quirk an eyebrow in confusement, when he manhandles you and drives your legs up higher his body, that’s when you understand and gasp softly.

“A-are you sure?” you ask, concern laced your voice and Jungkook grins, licking his lip as he aligns you over his face, your knees digging into the headrest space that’s available, arms grabbing the ceilings of the 4x4. When he nods in encouragement and you hesitate he delivers a slight smack to your clit making you jolt forwards but he knew you like it when a gush of arousal seeps out of you.

“Mmm okay ok, please tell me if I hurt you, I don’t wanna kill you,” you murmur the last part and Jungkook chuckles. 

“I’d die a happy man,” he smirk before spreading open your lips with his fingers, tongue darting out to lick and suck at your clit with a surprising pressure and Jungkook chuckles when you jolt forwards.

He buries his hand around the flesh of your thighs and holds you down so you don’t run away. “Ride my fucking face,” he grunts, and you don’t hesitate this time, sitting done properly on his face so that his nose aligns with your clit and your folds aim for his tongue. You breathlessly moan when you start moving up and down, and letting Jungkook bring you closer to your high.

“Feels so good,” you whine and Jungkook continues slurping up your cunt juices making sure to help you grind down on his face to get off. 

“Taste”, kiss, “So”, kiss, “Good” he says in between dipping his tongue into your cunt, feeling you pulse and flutter around him and he knows you're close.

“Gonna cum?” he asks and you whine, nodding your head eagerly. You place your fingers in between strands of his hair and slightly angle his face deeper into your clit so he can get you to your end.

Jungkook absolutely loves that you're using him, mouth open wide as he stares into your eyes, stains of tears running down your cheek at the intense pleasure, fuck.

He bucks his hip up to search for any type of release, and then suddenly he feels your legs shake in his grasp, and your head lolling back.

“Oh my god! Yes!” you moan out, riding his face faster and Jungkook braces himself for a couple of seconds to get you off, feeling himself suffocating underneath you, but he lets it happen. His arms loosen around your thighs as you bury yourself deeper into his face.

“Ahh, yes, ohhhh,” you drag out your moans and Jungkook groans against you, hand coming up to smooth over the skin of your thigh in an attempt to lift you off him.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” you flush from embarrassment, feeling the heat on your cheeks sore throughout your whole body. You raise yourself up for a moment, cheekily grinning down at his glistened face. You gasp, flying to gather your shirt that had flown off in the process of this, grabbing it to wipe his face meekly, softly dabbing it onto his skin.

“What are you doing?” he chuckles and you wiggle back down to straddle his thighs, softly placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

You’ve missed him so much.

You let your eyes linger on his features, the same ones that you had imprinted into your own head for months, the same bubbly nose, thick eyebrows, and doe eyes that hadn’t been able to leave your mind for the past year. Even when you were in a committed relationship you couldn’t shake them away, even if you were happy with Yoongi you couldn’t shake him away. 

He was one of the reasons why your relationship with Yoongi didn’t work out, amongst others. The guilt was too much, committing to Yoongi when you knew that your heart yearned for another, your mind had that bunny smile plastered in every corner of your mind. 

The same pearly whites that he flashes at your curious eyes gazing down his face, and into his eyes.

“What?” he asks and you shake away from your daze, shyly grinning as you hop off his lap to adjust your skirt.

No.

You don’t want to put your heart through the torture of not knowing where you stand with Jungkook, again. You don’t want the uncertainty and all the doubt it comes with being involved with him.

So you take this time to collect yourself and ask him why he had texted you to come over, surely getting sidetracked this way wasn’t on the agenda that much you can tell by the surprised expression on his face and the initial shock on his tongue meeting your own in a fiery kiss when you first came in.

You cross your arms and smooth down your shirt and skirt, “Why did you text me last night?” you asked.

Jungkook properly wipes his mouth and sits up at the edge of the car to face you, eyes blinking cowardly while he racks his brains for a reason, you think. A reason to mask the truth of course because you know him. This is what he does, leading you into the mud until he doesn't need you.

But you want your answer now and you want it fast. You're tired of playing games with him.

After a prolonged silence, you start to sigh heavily and turn away from him making sure to hide away your broken heart and tear welding eyes from his own.

“I missed you alright, I really did” Jungkook blurts, stopping you in your tracks.

You turn around to face him, an expecting look on your face for him to continue, he blinks doe eyes absolutely lost and your brain moving 200km/hour, you can tell.

Chuckling you throw your head back and scoff, “Is it really that hard for you to tell me you like me?” you ask.

Jungkook’s face goes red, not denying or adding to your statement simply standing up to dust his overalls. You cross your arms over each other raising a brow at his silence.

He doesn’t say anything. After a beat of silence, you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief as you walk out of the garage, without a look back and Jungkook gulps back the lump in his throat. Distracting himself with the car he was working on, the car he had just eaten you out on top of, and his heart clenches repeatedly at your expression of disappointment from him. 

Forever printed into his mind.

—

“I thought you said this was a frat party, not a crack house” you complain, pulling the bottom of your short dress down with every step you take into the house. Hoseok snorts, hand reaching out for yours and you slip your fingers together.

“Do me a favour and shut up for a minute.” he rolls his eyes, eyes teasingly glaring at you. Reaching the living room, Hoseok finally lets go of your hand, calling over his shoulder that he’s getting drinks for the both of you. 

You huff, sitting down on one of the love seats, pulling your phone out. A bunch of hollers and whistles are heard throughout the house but one side of the room drives your attention, glancing at the other side of the huge living space you notice the ping pong games going on. Your eyes curiously dance over to the corner and see a familiar build, he’s shoving his tongue down a girl's throat, a circle of people surrounding them. 

You scoff, of course. When said man winks at her and tries to crane his neck, his eyes meet your own briefly, and you look away quickly. You are not surprised that Jungkook’s getting turnt at a random party with yet another woman. Unaffected anymore you look away, Hoseok finally coming back with drinks and you mumble thanks as he sits beside you, and starts conversations with the people around him. 

Your eyes lift once more and an even more shocking pair of eyes meet yours and at this, your heart leaps a little, it’s Yoongi looking even more handsome with long jet-black hair, his arms and chest looking buffer than normal. He sports a black button-up opened up with a white tank top, baggy cargo and a chain so shiny you can see your reflection.

“Oh ‘....’, Hello” he smiles, a shaky breath escaping him, you smile so wide, immediately jumping up on your feet to greet him, arms wrapping around his neck and his arms around your frame, pulling you so close to him your feet lift off the floor.

“How’s it going,” You sigh, pulling away.

“Good, calm and peaceful,” he lets you go and you smile.

“Just how you like it huh,” and he chuckles.

 “So what, you’re done your placement in New York?” you ask about his job that had stationed him there for a few months, right after your breakup.

“Yeah I finally got a permanent placement here,” he trails off, his arms itching towards you but he wraps them around his biceps instead, crossing them. The obvious instinct to reach out to each other is still fresh, muscles twitching into comfort soothing touches on each other's warm skin. You felt it too, felt your arms reach for his dark locks but had half a mind to control yourself, instead you smile so fondly that your heart squeezes so tightly. 

Two lovers who star gazed, spent hours upon hours in each other’s bed, body intertwined, souls intertwined. It’s a bittersweet moment, and you think Yoongi can feel it too, with the way his smile matches your own. 

You’ve always appreciated Yoongi, and always will. He was the first person that taught you what love meant, the first person to show you how you should be loved. Perhaps in another lifetime, you two would have been end-game, you think you’d be in love with him so hard. You don’t believe in the right person wrong time, but you sure do believe that Yoongi and you were meant to be in another universe, another era of your life…..if your heart wasn’t already struggling with the feelings of another man, you’d think that Yoongi would've been for you. 

—

Jungkook’s eyes stay glued to the way you smile and the way your hands naturally intertwine with Yoongi’s, animatedly talking. Yoongi matched the smile you sport, a gummy smile he reserved for you, otherwise, his eyes were stern, a look so means that people could think he was killing em with it. 

The dynamic between you two was weird, you guys seemed as if you have nothing in common, you are so bubbly and outgoing and Yoongi just seems so- unbothered and low energy. Jungkook guesses that you both mesh perfectly despite the differences like you both were end-game even broken up and it has him discouraged. 

You looked so happy, and Jungkook cursed under his breath, insecurity and jealousy bubbling inside of him. 

“We shouldn’t,” you say, and Jungkook’s ear perks up nicely looking at the way your gaze softly cracks its calm facade, distress clearly on your face as you turn and find his gaze. Yoongi’s head turns his way as well and he has half a brain to look away. You must have said something about him because what is the coincidence of the both of you looking his way at the same time? 

He notices Yoongi is not by your side by the end of the night. You get out at the same time as him.

“You good?” he asks, eyes watching the way your frame sways side to side, eyes slightly puffy and glossy, but you still have a smile on your face. Maybe you’re a bit tipsy.

“Yes Jungkook, im good” you sigh, and he doesn’t miss the slight irritation in your voice.

“Good….. that's, good” it falls silent between you both and Jungkook lingers around, staring at your side profile as you type away on your phone. He doesn’t know why he stays around for longer but he talks again, to get the conversation going.

“I was thinking about what you said last time…” he trails off, he wasn’t lying he was thinking about the last conversation you both had, but he didn’t mean to tell because he has no idea where he is going with this.

“Okay,” you respond, eyes trained on your phone as if you didn’t believe him.

“So…yeah” he concludes, sighing deeply when he fails you yet again.

“What did I say last time?” you ask, putting your phone back into your purse.

“I don’t remember saying much for you to think about,” you chuckle, crossing your arms, mirroring him.

“Im sorry,” he swallows and he watches your face break out into an amusing one, scoffing lightly.

“Ok” you blink, and Jungkook’s eyes almost tear up from frustration. He’s good at reading people, and he’s taking your disinterest in this conversation badly. He really knows he’s fucked up, beyond repair.

“Well if you don’t know what you want still,” you pull out your phone, “I’ll be on my way”.

“How are you getting home?” he asks in panic, he needs to have this conversation with you.

“Uber.”

“Let me take you, we can stop by and grab some burgers from-”

“Jungkook,” you sigh defeatedly. Raising an accusatory finger up at his chest you step closer.

“I don't have time for you anymore, you’ve wasted my time over and over again and Im tired of this back and forth between us. You made it very clear you don't want me like that, and I’ve learned to accept it. But you keep hanging on to me, you keep….keep– hurting me.” You whisper the last part and that has Jungkook grabbing your wrist.

“That’s not it, I do want you ‘....’” he sighs and his eyes are teary now, watching you trying to wiggle away from his grip on you.

“You never let me finish talking, there's so much I want to tell you” he sighs, you wipe your tears with your sleeve, pliant in his hold now.

“My intentions were never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you suffer. I struggled at first, and then you got into a relationship, and now you’re single, I had and still have to respect that.” He takes in a deep breath.

“You wanna know why I broke up with Yoongi Jungkook, you want to know why I’ve left possibly one of the most loving people I’ve met in my life……hmm?” you press, jabbing your finger into his chest and Jungkook stumbles back.

“Because I was in love with a coward! a stupid fucking coward, who couldn't confess back to me all because he wanted to keep fucking around” you yell, voice breaking out at the end, and his fucking heart aches.

Aches cause it’s now that it really hits him how much he has hurt you. 

He never intended that, ever.

Fuck.

“‘…’ I-” he says your name but you scoff sharply, chuckling but no humour is found in your tone.

“I thought loving you was supposed to be the best thing ever, but all it’s done is hurt me and I guess it’s my fault for springing my feelings onto a man that doesn’t want them,” you sniff, a weakened smile on your exhausted face and Jungkook breaks.

He grabs your arms to wrap around him, hard tears falling off his own eyes when you bury your head into his chest. It’s like letting a dam go, all this time he’s been keeping you at arm's length for what? Because he’s scared? Scared of committing, scared of disappointing you.

Scared, Scared, Scared.

What a coward.

What a coward Jungkook is.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby I never wanted to hurt you, it was never supposed to be like this….” he says. And all of a sudden he’s angered, frustrated at you. Why did you have to love him of all people, 

And why did he have to love you back?

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

3 Years Later

Spring is such a love-hate season. You either enjoy the wildlife and plants, or resent them very, very, much. You're in between the two right now, trying to enjoy the beautiful flowers that grow in your garden, and keeping up with your plant shop that has different lilies and sunflowers sprouting, beautifully— you may add. But as you fail to control your sneezing and red eyes, you decide to pop another allergy pill that may do the trick, you think.

You're just glad that the weather isn't so wet and dull, and well on its way into the warmer season and bikini tops. Sighing lightly you manage to finish your watering and inventory for today, deciding to take your lunch around noon, you lock the shop and put up the lunch sign. There’s a cafe that has just opened down the road and you’ve been wanting to check it out for a while, it keeps coming up on your feed and Hoseok has been bugging you to try it out. 

Walking in you take a look around the beautiful shop, it was wooden and green themed, with lots of plants and high ceilings that showcase the sun beaming on the customer's faces. It smelled even more divine as you took in all of the blueberry and raspberry scones on display, chocolate croissants, and the smell of all types of coffee roasts. You are probably the biggest coffee fiend, being able to tell the difference between dark, blonde, and regular roast coffee. It was a gift, but it was also the skills that come along with being an addict.

The man in front smiles at you, “What can I get for you?” he asks and you can't help but beam, ordering every flavour of scones and a matcha latte, your heart already full of happiness from the beautiful array of desserts, making sure to snap a picture at one of the tables and sending it to Hoseok and your mom.

You enjoy your little scones and latte, getting up to grab some napkins at the register-

“Hyung it’s been a while,” you hear the barista address the man at the counter, with a mouth full of the blueberry scone and napkins midway to wiping your lips you take a glance at who he is addressing.

No-

You chuckle lightly to yourself, blinking a couple of times to confirm the face you see and it's more than enough evidence when he speaks, ordering two drinks.

Fuck

You quickly swallow the scone, moving back to your seat and accidentally make eye contact with him on the way of you rush out. You see a flash of recognition twinkle in his eyes yet you fleet fast, and far away back into your shop, basically running down the block like a mad woman.

You don't know why you reacted that way. Maybe it was because you haven't seen him in so long or maybe it was the woman that he had tucked in between him and his arms, a fond smile on his face as he regards her, ordering drinks for the two.

Your heart starts to clench uncomfortably, the night you last saw him replying in your mind.

“I think it’ll be best for the both of us to go our separate ways, Jungkook” You smiled sadly, unravelling from his embrace. You saw the stain on Jungkook’s shirt, salty tears from you seeping onto his skin.

“You should learn to love someone the right way, and when you find that person I hope you’ll treat them the way I would've liked to be treated,” You say, watching the Uber arrive. You reached up on your tiptoes to leave a kiss on his cheek, one that prolonged longer than it needed to and Jungkook can feel the depth of it in his soul, in his heart….slicing through it.

“I will, ‘...’ I will baby,” he swallowed.

That was how you both had ended things over three years ago, you finally grew the balls to  block him on all social media, his number, and his face from your mind years ago…. until today. You know you’ve moved on. You have, you have moved into the city finally, opened up your little floral shop with whatever savings you’d have left and fled your boring office job. You loved life, you loved being alone and cropping all day long. 

You had developed a new routine, new habits, new crushes, new experiences, new feelings, new friends, and most importantly a new mechanic in all those three years alone. Technically Jimin wasn’t new but you both had gotten closer, common interests and the building you both had lived in had brought you both together. He has become one of the most important people in your life today, and rather than bombarding you with everything that went down with his buddy, he has managed to successfully divert you from the pain. And it was like you didn’t know a Jeon Jungkook. 

He had disappeared from the face of the earth because you had forced yourself to forget his existence, and it worked. Until today, until you had to see him today so happy with his girlfriend. Although that makes you happy that he has found someone, that he has matured enough to develop a relationship like that, the feeling had a bittersweet taste on your tongue.

—

“Don’t bring any more pies because I currently have like five of them sitting on my kitchen counter, I beg,” Namjoon complains through the phone. 

You chuckle, carefully placing the blueberry pie onto your lap on the passenger seat, “Well that’s what happens when you host a dinner party, Jimin and I are gonna be there in 20 minutes,” you make a kissy sound into the phone before putting it down.

“I bet he doesn’t have a blueberry pie yet,” Jimin chuckles, reversing out of the parking spot and you shrug.

“He said there’s already five pies, three out of those five are probably apple, and the other two are pumpkin” You shrug and Jimin chuckles at your blurt.

“Perhaps,” he says. A frown settles deep onto his face while he drives and you notice it but don't say anything, humming along to the radio.

“I would much rather ditch this for a movie and a greasy burger,” Jimin winks and you roll your eyes.

“Hey, we can’t be rude he prepared dinner and plus I thought it would be nice for us to interact and make new friends.” You pout and Jimin chuckles, a little nervously but you brush it off.

“Okayyyy…. But if you change your mind just let me know we still got a block left” and you giggle slapping his arms playfully.

—

Well fuck….

Grabbing Jimin’s arms before he can zoom past you and into the living room, you hiss into his ear, “Why is he here?” you say interrogatively, and Jimin blushes lightly, wincing from the hold you have on his ear.

“Fuck, im sorry ‘..’ I tried to get you to bail,” he shrugs and you huff, taking your heels off as you scramble past him to greet Namjoon.

Jungkook and his partner are here and you do your absolute best to not get their attention in the huge living room Namjoon has, constantly keeping yourself ten feet away you think you're successful until Namjoon asks, “Oh have you met Jungkook and his fiance?” he pulls you towards them.

The air is knocked out of you as you hear the word fiance, but you collect yourself, your heart weirdly clenching as you make eye contact with them. Namjoon introduces you both and you shake her hand, watching as the beautiful petite woman shyly greets you and makes conversation. You have half a mind to nod and answer vaguely, eyes roaming her small face, plump lips, red hair, dress tightly fitted around her hips and waist perfectly. 

“Nice to meet you kyomo” you tightly smile, you can feel the obvious gaze of Jungkook eyes on your face so you turn and greet him as well.

“Jeon,” you nod, and he pronounces your name back.

Namjoon looks between you both, your hand sliding into his smooth one softly as he shakes it slowly. He seems to never look away and you find yourself not being able to do the same.

His hair is short now, and his lips sport a silver ring. He’s wearing a plain black shirt and slacks that make him look mature and put together. You think you can smell his signature cologne on him still, strong and musky, yet soft and gentle just like his face. He’s bigger, broader than you remember and he still has brown doe eyes that expand and sparkle, you always loved to say he wore his emotions in his eyes. You could always just tell from them.

“It’s been a while, how are you?” He asks and you slide your hand from him, taking a step back, glancing away.

“Good, I'm gonna go find Jimin Joon, enjoy your night guys,” You're quick to retreat out of the situation, heading right for the bathroom upstairs and turning on the water. Your lips tremble slightly and your eyes are welled up with tears, why? You don’t know because you have been over him for years now.

You can’t breathe, and you can’t seem to shake away the painful ache in your heart that seems to beat faster and harder just thinking about him now, him getting married, him getting mature, him moving on from you so fast.

He’s getting married, Jungkook is getting married.

“You in here,” you hear your name being called from the other side of the bathroom door, you open it immediately getting pulled into an embrace. Jimin’s arms wrap around your frame as you quietly sob into his shoulder, he knows. He doesn’t ask because he knows.

They always said distance made the heart grow fonder, but you just think that your heart likes to set you up for the worst.

—

The party goes on, roasted dinner praised by everyone and you watch as Joon blushes, telling everyone to keep their voice down. Once finished, everyone heads over to the patio for some drinks and desserts. You offer to clean up, and after much protest Namjoon lets you, and you pat his back in appreciation.

 “You already did so much tonight it’s the least I could do.”

Gathering the dishes and throwing out plastic utensils and cups you manage to clear the dining table, you look through the cabinets for a pair of gloves to get started on the dishes, rummaging through cupboards and cupboards.

“I think he keeps them above the stove,” You recognize that voice, and you muster a tight-lipped smile, reaching up to grab it but failing to do so with how high it is.

“Here,” he offers, coming up behind you to open the cupboard and grab them. You shut your eyes tightly and manage a calm facade when he hands it to you, thanking him with a mumble before you put them on.

“You gonna need help?” he asks after a moment of you gathering dishes. Help would be nice, but you wouldn't prefer it from him.

“Nah im good, thanks” you smile, getting to work.

Jungkook chuckles, grabbing a pair of gloves for himself, “Scoot over, I'm helping” he says and you momentarily meet his gaze and look away without a word as he helps you soak and put dishes into the dishwasher.

It’s quiet for a while, successfully cleaning the dishes and loading the bigger pots in the dishwasher.  

Jungkook’s staring again, a little awkward so you speak up.

“How long have you been together?” you ask, and you can see Jungkook visibly stiffen.

“Over 2 years now,” he says, and you nod. You make a move to wipe the tables and Jungkook’s coming to help you again.

“I think I’ve got this, you can go and join everyone outside” You turn around abruptly, stopping him in his tracks. 

“I thought we could catch up,” he smiles. And you almost scoff out loud, whether you're bitter because of Jungkook’s marriage announcement or the fact that he has the audacity to try and keep things natural between the two of you as if he didn’t break your heart in two….

Maybe the latter but it still hurts. And all of a sudden everything feels fresh like he just left you a day ago, broke you a day ago. 

There’s a reason why you both didn’t work out? Was it because of Jungkook incapabilities to communicate or his lack of feelings for you? You don’t know but one thing you do know is that Jungkook never really loved you like he said he did if he wasn’t able to work on his problems for you. 

Jungkook never loved you enough 

Enough enough enough 

You weren’t enough for him and the thought has bile rising up your stomach. It has your heart skipping beats and incredible hurt seizing through you. 

You were never enough.

“There’s nothing much to catch up on really, I-”

“I’m sorry for the way things ended,” he sighs, your name slipping past his tongue so tiredly.

“Look, can we just look past this and- and be friends again?” he’s hopeful, he looks hopeful. His eyes are tender and his body language screams frustration.

Perhaps

“Of course” You reach a hand out to him, he’s smiling, putting his bigger hand with yours for a handshake. You feel….okay. This feels okay now, your heart doesn’t feel like it’s ripping in two and for once you're not reminiscing about the past. 

Your content, you’ve moved on.

“Let’s work on our friendship this new year, let’s not look back anymore Jungkook,” you say and Jungkook nods eagerly. 

“I agree.” 

There was no hatred, no passive tone, no hidden anger or jealousy in your words. You truly meant it, and you hope he understands.

“Baby, are you coming?” Kyomo calls and Jungkook’s eyes leave your face to his fiancés on the patio. His beautiful wife stands, reaching a hand out for him to grab. He looks back at you, but you encourage him with one last nod and divert your attention back to the counter.

“Yeah, yeah I am….” he trails off, you think you see him send a small smile your way before he goes out but you don’t care anymore. 

You're just happy you're free now.

[camaro-and-smokes]

The Family Values Program | CH2

Second chapter of a dystopian au we've been writing together with @aggressiveviking is up! (or been for a week or so, I forgot to share, oops lol)

Warnings: None. Tags: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Arranged Marriage, Developing Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Developing Friendships, Denial of Feelings, Internalized Homophobia, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Domestic Fluff, Forced Cohabitation, Mutual Pining Misunderstanding, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Crush, or so they both think, Closeted Gay Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington Has a Bisexual Awakening, Other tags to be added

Summary: Their first full day together gets an interesting start and then things start going downhill. Desperate situations require desperate solutions.

Read in full on AO3 >>

Snippet under the cut.

Billy was dreaming— he was dreaming something... nice — he couldn't really focus to remember. Warm and soft and for the first time in a long time, happy and relaxed.

He was still half asleep when he realized there was heat pressed into him keeping him warm. A sleepy small grunt left his lips as his eyes slowly opened. The blanket was almost up over his mouth, making him feel even more cozy. The light coming from the windows showered the whole room in dim cold light, seeping through the thin curtains… he didn’t remember those last night, but he was too tired to wonder how or why. He didn’t feel like getting up, he was way too comfortable— 

Billy suddenly felt something that had his heart almost jump out of his mouth – a squeeze on his pec. He moved his hand, reaching up, fingers over… fingers ? He pulled the blanket away enough to see it was a hand– Steve’s hand.  

Billy’s sleep-addled mind needed only a moment to piece together that the other man was pressed into his back, hand around his side, holding on… Billy’s face was red, heart thumping with shock… because it felt nice . 

Fuck— that was so wrong. Billy could barely stand the guy, and they had almost gotten into a fight last night. How did that lead to this ? This wasn’t… it couldn’t…

He craned his neck as much as he could to look over his shoulder. For a moment he had thought that maybe Steve was actually interested in him like that . But he dismissed that instead for the thought that the guy was trying to provoke him again, continuing to push their petty fight from before. It was a relief to see that Steve was sleeping, face relaxed, breathing steady and deep. 

Billy’s head was a mess, still too asleep to be able to think through things. The only thing he knew was that he was butt-naked, in the arms of an attractive man— Billy couldn’t deny that Steve was fucking gorgeous, the bastard — and he was starting to feel… things.

With his heart racing, Billy pushed the hand off himself and slipped out of the warmth under the blanket. His blush had spread to his ears and down his neck as he quickly scooped his clothes off the floor and quietly went to the bathroom.

+

An insistent sound penetrated Steve's sleep. He was annoyed because it just wouldn't stop and dragged him out of his slumber against his will. Suddenly, he snapped wide awake, realizing that it was his alarm. Fuck .

He'd fallen asleep.

He was sleeping on his stomach and hugging, based on the scent not his own but… Billy's pillow. He sat up quickly, letting the pillow fall on the mattress. Billy was nowhere to be seen, but a coldness filled his insides, nonetheless.

Oh, this was bad.

He didn't know for sure if he'd done it if he'd cuddled with Billy. He wanted to believe he hadn't. But the evidence told a different story—the pillow, and that he usually slept on his right side or his back, never on his stomach. He wasn't hurting anywhere, though, so he hadn't been hit, which he thought would've likely happened if he'd done it.

So, nothing told him anything else, but that it was barely plausible, if even that. But he couldn't push the possibility away from his mind. He knew it was always there.

He finally turned off the alarm and rubbed his face with his hands. What a fucking start for a day. Tonight he'd sleep in the other room without a fight, for sure.

There was a faint scent of coffee wafting in the air, and Steve's stomach gurgled loudly. The light dinner last night hadn't been near enough. At least he might get some coffee before he left early enough so that he could grab something to eat in some diner before going to work. He sure as hell wouldn't push Billy to make anything for him.

He took a shower, shaved, made sure his hair was on point, and put on his best gray Gucci suit pants, his best shirt, and tie, cufflinks, and Gucci dress shoes.

He took the suit jacket to be put on when he’d leave and walked to the top of the stairs, where he stood there for a moment, taking a few deep breaths before walking downstairs. He promised himself that today would start better than yesterday. Even if they didn't have to like each other, they would have to get along as long as they were stuck together.

[fallloverfic]

TGCF donghua Season 2, Episode 12 thoughts

The end episode for the season had some lovely stuff :3 Spoilers for the book and donghua below. CW: blood.

I do love the cute little back and forth between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng a lot. ...I kind of wish it wasn't repeated here so we could focus on new stuff, but okay.

Xie Lian chuckling with Shi Qingxuan about what happened to Feng Xin lol He loves Feng Xin but also it's funny. No snow-white lotus here. They're so cute T-T Their friendshippppp T-T

But also he apologizes for it. Feng Xin's little smile/soft sad look(?) as he looks at Dianxia T-T I CRYYYY And then they awkwardly look away from each other (after Feng Xin talks about superior skill) and I cry more T-T

Mu Qing still approves of Feng Xin covered in blood. His little chuckle. As someone pointed out, this is how this part is phrased in the English translation:

“Only Mu Qing held [Feng Xin's] gaze. He not only didn’t care to avoid him, but he purposely stared, his intent more than obvious.” (Volume 2, Chapter 24).

Smirky boi.

Jun Wu's character model is pretty but also growing on me. He has some nice shots this episode.

Terrible man. Horrible. Pretty.

Xie Lian sadly running while having all his terrible memories T-T Pretty shots, tho.

The tomb is so pretty! I love how it looks like a sky!

Xie Lian thinking about what Qi Rong might have gone through... I know part of it is just worry about all the terrible things Qi Rong has done, only some of which Xie Lian knows of, but he has some sadness about what horrible things happened to him, too. Like I'll never get over that seemingly neither Xie Lian nor his parents know how Qi Rong died. Even Xie Lian didn't actually die (because he was a god when he got mortally injured T-T). But Qi Rong did. They just sort of lose track of him around when Xianle falls. And that's really sad.

So it looks like they mostly kept Qi Rong's new body the same, and just added his green make-up to indicate possession, which makes sense. He looks similar enough like this it's fine. Poor Guzi T-T He's having a bad lotta days.

I'm gonna be honest, I'm not a fan of the massive use of reused footage this episode. I get that they're going into another arc for season 3, so there has to be a cut-off somewhere, and this is a good place to cut off. But it... well. At least there's lots of gay pining on Xie Lian's part. A nice note to end the season on, I suppose, particularly because it parallels season 1 and they are the central relationship.

I can't recall any sub issues this episode, other than the continued use of "Green Immor", and I did a double-take when they directly translated the name for Mount Tonglu. Hoping they go back and fix all the issues in previous episodes.

All in all, this was a really wonderful season, with only a few minor issues overall, mostly in terms of the subs and that one very weird art decision in one episode. The art was beautiful, the voice actors did a great job, the music was lovely as always, the new intro and endings were wonderful, the additions were wonderful (yee Xiao Mengyou/Xiao Shiwei :3), and it's so fun to see all this in animation at last! Lots of wonderful Hualian, YIN YU FOR FIVE SECONDS MY BELOVED!!!!, lots of wonderful Shi Qingxuan & Xie Lian, lots of wonderful Xianle trio drama, some lovely Beefleaf tidbits, lots of wonderful Qi Rong being The Worst (I love him so), and lots of wonderful Lang Qianqiu. Lots of wonderful everyone!

Here's to season 3! May we see it soon!

Other episode thoughts for season 2 (didn't start till episode 3):

S02E03

S02E04

S02E05

S02E06

S02E07

S02E08

S02E09

S02E10

S02E11

S02E12 (you are here)

[mysticbeaver]

After a post I made the other day I had some sudden brainrot at work about Kevin and Nazz's dynamic in the Big Picture Show 👀 Analysis time! This sounded like a great idea until I wrote it down 🥴 Disclaimer: not necessarily my headcanons set in stone, this is all food for thought and discussion is welcome.

So basically, Kevin and Nazz's established dynamic throughout the show is this: Kevin acting cool and trying to impress Nazz, while she goes back and forth between happily hanging out with him as a friend, and being bored/annoyed by his showing-off or even disapproving of his meaner antics. Alot of people often point out the strange reversal of roles in the movie - Nazz blatantly flirts with an unexplicably oblivious Kevin, who is suddenly more interested in his bike than the rad chick he's been pining for for a good while (especially assuming the flashback scene implied he already had a crush on her). I have a headcanon that perhaps Kevin starts losing some interest in Nazz after May I Have This Ed - Edd dancing with her made Kevin realize she's not as into him as he would have wished, and he loses the motivation to grab her attention. Nazz's sudden change in the movie could be explained as her being distressed and upset by the Big Scam damage and destruction, and needing someone to comfort her, not to mention she strikes me as the only character (apart from Jimmy and Sarah) not willing to take the journey alone. Rolf and Jonny's sideplots seem to focus on their lone wolf/loner attitudes, so Nazz's choice of companion is inevitable. Unfortunately, Kevin himself is not in a clear frame of mind (like anyone else really lol) - he's absolutely pissed off and hell-bent on chasing the Eds more than ever. His bike, which he loves riding and mantaining, comes very handy in reaching the Eds before they get to Eddy's Bro, so making sure it keeps running is the only other preoccupation in his head apart from catching up with the dorks.

So, you have these two 12-year olds going out in the wild overnight - a boy with anger issues whose only wish at the moment is to beat the living daylights out of the neighbor he's despised for at least a year, and a girl who maybe likes aforementioned boy, maybe not, but is currently really stressed from the day's mis-Ed-ventures, and just wants someone to hold her close as they sit in front of the fire... a match made in heaven.

And since we're at it, the fireplace scene... it looks like Kevin almost exchanges the flirting, they're clearly about to kiss... and then he just walks off cause he left his bike in the cold. Great job 👌💥 I think when you consider Kevin is type to keep others at arm's length, maybe he wasn't prepared for the moment Nazz actually gets more intimate. Maybe it caught him off-guard and he froze up? They're only kids, after all.

I already hate writing all of this, but if it gets anyone's ideas going, you're welcome 😅 I'm gonna go eat some lasagna for dinner now...

[kiawren]

kiawren things that may add some plot to our relationship: (becuz to me we both like each other too much and are so perfect for each other we already know we're in love and get together so early like I Know it's not realistic but really I don't see how it'd drag out becuz I'm not stupid and I'd realise he likes me becuz he's not exactly good at hiding it so it wouldn't even be mutual pining for long lol)

– wren confessed his crush first (very in character of me becuz I get infatuated too easily), and kia/we says sorry he doesn't like them and has responsibilities to focus on, but they stay good friends. And then he falls for wren

– if we continue with the above, kia/we later asks wren if they view him still as a crush or a friend, and wren replies friend but he actually still adores kia/we, but kia/wes like ok he doesnt like me. And doesn't confess (he would've if wren said he still likes him)

– but then again im not that oblivious I feel like I can easily tell if kia/we likes me 😭 so thats fun to think about but it's not how the relationship 'canonly' mainly goes

– trans guy kia/we who wasn't sure that he was gay (didn't even like anyone legitimately till wren), when he transitioned he just took on an assumed transhet identity. and was conflicted when he starts to like wren whos nonbinary transmasc but doesn't really pass so he was worried he doesnt see wren as the boy they identify as!

– if kia/we already knows he likes guys/masculine aligned people, then wren was worried he wasn't enough of a boy for kia/we to reciprocate (actual thing that I thought of alot when I had an infatuation for a cis gay irl)

– over a vacation wren went back to whatever region they came from (idk poke/mon well enough outside of gen 7 my bad💀💀) and both of them were thinking whether it's a crush that'll pass over the month or two. (spoiler it didn't)

– well on the gender and sexuality thing maybe kia/we thought wren as someone who understands him in that aspect very well (since they're both transmasc, just to different extents) so he confused himself over whether it was like a special bond of solidarity and understanding or like. An actual crush (reminder he has not liked anyone so bad before. Or anyone for that matter. I still haven't really decided on that. I feel like he knows what love is cuz his parents are in love but never really had time to think abt it)

– wren isnt from alo/la right. He's there to study on conservation (my irl dream) and kia/we doesnt trust foreigners as seen in the first few eps. So he treats wren in a stern and a bit mean. kinda way. This is kinda important becuz if he didn't, wren would immediately be infatuated with him within like max 5 days. So to drag out the time they take to like each other kia/we has to warm up to wren and wren has to see him as actually not intimidating.

– it'll also be interesting if there were foreign students before and they did not care for alo/la's natural world as their academic intentions made them seem to. So kia/we had bad impressions of ppl coming to alo/la to help the region becuz he doesn't trust that they truly care for it. But wren really does and kia/we needs a bit of time to realise that. So he was initially really mean to wren lol, and unlike the shift in the canon show where kia/we quickly became a silly guy and wasn't mean anymore, here it was more gradual and so wren didnt like him that early on

– they were on the topic of dating before and wren said they didn't really like the idea of dating a schoolmate (once again, me irl, schoolmates suck) but that mostly applied for his school back home, not the smaller and more bonded class he was part of here in alola. And kia/we was like yeah I have lots of commitments too like my family, my training,... So they were both like yeah I don't think I'd date. So they were apprehensive on confessing to each other becuz they thought the other's answer was pretty much definitive. (but it completely changed later on solely becuz they really liked each other..!!)

Some other points of personality conflicts so they're not actually as perfect as I say they are lol

– I posted this before but wren (me irl) is kind of a germaphobe when it comes to their bedroom and some other routines in their life and kia/we is much less hygienic like basic hygiene ofc but he stays on a farm and sweats a lot and he sometimes lays down on his bed in between, or like before he sleeps he trains but he doesnt shower idfk in the games his bed literally smells like sweat. But anyway the point is wren got thrown off by kia/we like idk not washing his hands that much etc etc it's hard to say becuz I freak over 'germs' in specific places and circumstances only... but ajsksjkd I'm literally getting nowhere with this. I'm just saying they have to get used to each other here

– kiawe has 100 discipline responsibility commitment. wren has like 2. If we were to keep it realistic kia/we wouldn't be like head over heels for wren cuz he's really not perfect lol, all this comes to kia/we so naturally and. I kinda want to say he'd be annoyed that wren isn't like that but he also doesn't get annoyed at people's flaws. He understands them and helps them achieve their goals regardless.. but I still think it'd be tiring for him.. so I guess he'd want to help wren as more of a friend and it'd take a while to see them for their other strengths aside from yknow their work ethic that takes up a lot of what you see in someone and infer about them. What I mean is that I'm so non-committal but if someone were to like me. I guess it'd be more of the artistic and intellectual aspect? I hope........

[jerzwriter]

Hii 🥰

Okay I’ve been wanting to ask you how was it when your MC / OC met your Li parents for the first time and how did your Li react while meeting your MC / OC parents for the first time?

Was it awkward? Funny? Embarrassing? I’d love to know 🥰

Hey Hon! Thanks so much for this ask! Hmm. Let's check them all out.

Tobias & Casey: Tobias met Casey's parents not long after the chemical attack. They were not dating at the time, there was a lot of pining and denial going on. lol Her parents liked him, but they were not looking at him with "those" eyes since she insisted they weren't together. Tobias can charm the paint of the wall, and her Mom was not immune. Her Dad liked him, until he heard they were dating. lol He is protecitve of Casey to begin with, especially during that time. But, he had really proven how much Casey means to him, so he gave him a chance, and before long, he was almost as charmed as Casey's Mom.

Tobias's mom, Vivian, was ELATED with Casey. She had been waiting for her playboy son to settle down for years, and she had all but given up. She would have been happy with just about anyone - but she genuinely loved Casey. She was asking when they were going to be married from like day one. lol Tobias's dad passed away when he was in med school, but I'm pretty condiment he would have loved Casey.

Ethan x Kaycee: I imagine they met at the time of the chemical attack, and their focus was on Kaycee at the time. Kaycee had confided in her Mom a lot, so she wasn't all that fond of Ethan (she felt he waffled too much, and the fact that he was her boss still left her leery). But, when she saw how out of his mind he was and how hard he worked to save Kaycee, she decided to keep an open mind. She ended up really liking him not long after that. Kaycee's dad was unaware of the relationship, so he was just so grateful to all he was doing for Kaycee. And, since he already had that impression, he really didn't have an issue when he found out they were dating.

As to Kaycee and Alan (and Naveen, since he's a quasi-parent) it's kind of canon that they were crazy about her, so we know that went well lol

With Trystan and Carolina, we saw this play out in canon. His family is toxic AF, so that was... pleasant (sarcasm). Trystan's Uncle Tommy liked Trystan, and really didn't buy their "nothing going on between us" from day 1. lol

Eli x Zoe - sadly, none of their family was alive when they got together, but Eli did meet Zoe's sister, Anna, just before her death in canon. They did leave us with the feeling that there was a sort of bond between Eli and Anna, and I think she would have been very happy, though she was very protective of Zoe, so she would have pulled Eli aside and told him exactly what she would have tone to him if he fucked her sister over. lol

Thanks so much for this fun ask! :)