#his suffering is like a drug to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ratherhavehopewithyou · 6 months

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Hak in despair. Hak in anguish. Hak in torment.

You agree.

#his suffering is like a drug to me #it hurts me and fuels me #kusa break him more but also don't you dare #i yearn #hak #son hak #akatsuki no yona #akayona #yona of the dawn #akayona spoilers #akatsuki no yona spoilers #yona of the dawn spoilers #akatsuki no yona 252 #akayona 252 #yona of the dawn 252 #send to syd

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blackmagictrait · 11 months

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this isn't gonna win me any friends but I won't pay a dime to see movies made by/starring people who signed the petition to free convicted child rapist roman polanski, and that includes guillermo del toro and wes anderson. you can love their movies all you want but paying to see them puts money in the pocket of people who publicly support rapists going free. 🤷🏾‍♀️

#idk it's cut and dry to me #and if you're PUBLIC in supporting rapists then like....what kinda shit you doing in private? 🤔#most of the arguments i see are ppl going “but it was so LONG ago he's done his time” no he literally hasn't #that's uh the problem #he was convicted n then FLED the country to avoid prison #mf literally never did his time. he never faced justice.#“hasn't he suffered enough” literally no he hasn't #that man drugged and raped a child and plead GUILTY to it and then never saw a day of prison #he should be dead but go off #and before you come at me with “yknow x and y actor signed it too what about them?” bitch what about em? none of them getting my money!#not a goddamn one!#natalie portman was one of the only ones to sign and then admit she fucked up and take her name off #if she can do it then so can anyone else. they just actively choose not to.#“they were probably misled” ok well its 2023 the knowledge is public and google is free #maybe its time to walk that support back huh

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flight-freedom · 19 days

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saintsarefake · 2 months

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tiktok and tumblr stop stalking the ex victim of a stalker to send him photos of his stalker and re-traumatize him challenge

#also stop saying he's the one in the wrong and stalking his ex-girlfriend to harass her/traumatize her challenge #also also stop glorifying the show challenge #(99.9% of people fail this challenge :00)#bruh it was the most liked comment on a tik tok video saying that he purposely made her uglier than she was (she was an ugly fuck to start)#i don't fat shame normally but i will 100% fat shame that bitch to the point of body dysmorphia and hope she suffers horribly in the future #never the actress tho she was great #if i see ANYONE coming for the actress i'm throwing hands #also darrien i hope he steps on a lego and overdoses on his drugs #actually i wish both experience what it was like for donny all the fear all the pain all the trauma everything i hope they know the sufferi #anyway i just finished baby reindeer and holy SHIT i have never related to a character more since i first saw angel dust #fuck martha and darrien #there's a special place in hell for them #and when i die and go down to hell i'm going to make them wish they were with them six limbed devils #psa; THIS IS ABOUT REAL PEOPLE THEY'RE NOT CHARACTERS #end of my rant now this pissed me off with how people are so hyper focused on martha and everything about her that it makes it seem like sh #+e is the only good person here and the only victim because OF SOME SOPPY FUCKING DUMB STORY AT THE END WHERE HER PARENTS FOUGHT FUCK HER N #+O ONE LOVES YOU AND I HOPE NO ONE EVER LOVES YOU TIK TOK SHE IS NOT THE VICTIM DONNY IS AND YOU ARE ALL TOO DUMB TO REALISE PAST YOUR HYPE #+R FEMENIST ALL MEN ARE EVIL BULLSHIT #*sigh*#i'm fine i swear #i'll delete this later maybe #if i remember it

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faultsofyouth · 6 months

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It's fucked up that the sober population straight up ignores how a huge portion of addicts have chronic illnesses

#was thinking about my stepdad and his plethora of health issues and how they shape his life #and then i thought about sewercentipede and Then i thought about the huge population of bipolar people who are alcoholics #and then after all that i thought about a convo i had with a straight edge friend who was like 'using illegal drugs Should result in jail #time because they could just Not do those drugs. they do it just for fun'#like i understand where he is coming from but i literally think he is wrong af.#i think the people who do drugs (esp hard drugs) recreationally are outnumbered 2 to 1 by people who #are self medicating with illegal drugs. i think most people totally ignore how chronic illnesses #and severe mental illnesses can hurt you on a profound level and because they dont know about that suffering #they do not understand the urge to numb that pain. and people have no sympathy for what they dont understand #lately im so bothered by people who share their opinions with me about complicated issues but clearly havent ever done any research on them #everyone thinks their opinion is so smart and special and no one is studying #especially not studying human behavior. most people think that socialization and political topics are a fucking joke #with 0 relevance to their personal lives. like no one is ever going to be truly informed about All the things #and i know i certainly am not but it is so annoying to speak with people who make no effort at all to learn about a subject #before they try and tell people the business about it. like that guy. his only understanding of drug use #comes from his own relationship to alcohol. but he was not an alcoholic he was just a perv who decided to go christian #like its so egotistical to assume that your experience and emotions can apply to everyone and yet he is not the only guy i know #who has no interest in any perspective other than his own but thinks his perspective is well informed #im sure women piss me off with this behavior too its just that atm i can only think of examples of men acting like this

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luxrayz64 · 7 months

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i think jigsaw would be pro life he's so petty and puts people in traps for literally anything he would absolutely put someone in a trap for getting an abortion

#espeon cries #the thought is haunting me #bro doesn't understand like. mental illness. how being poor correlates to crimes. what drug addiction is/means #paul jeff adam and amanda r all proof of that #and he also immediately ditches jill for being assaulted and suffering a miscarriage #??#like she says that she feels like he blamed HER for that #me when I don't view women as people what the fuck #anyway peepaw is pro life for sure #the politics of the jigsaw killer: exactly as fucked as you expect #he's also just so insanely petty and spiteful. my son was killed in the womb and you dont DARE appreciate the fetus you dont want?#to the dick smasher with ye #i mean his entire thing is 'I got cancer so im going to torture people into living life in what I deem to be a fulfilling way'#because obviously giving people ptsd + physical disabilities will help them appreciate their lives but what #fucking ever #why did the tag cut like that huh #anyway

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fgooooooo · 2 years

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A lil bit of both

I'm typing up a storm in the tags

#greedy #nort is hmm 2 me bc his interpretations exist so wildly #hes marketed as a goofball who likes donuts #hes marketed as a sauve charismatic person (which i guess he used to be long ago)#OKAY IF THIS DOESNT MAKE IT TO TAGS ILL WRITE IT OUT!! but for now...#hes a serious hardworking individual who wants to savour his own hard work. but in years of doing so and getting nowhere has caused him to #be a little desperate and bitter. the rich can wave their bank notes around while the poor suffer #he only becomes more due to the foreign influence of the meteorite and cave and all #hes a traumatized individual who is certainly complex. he had something others dont. its mentioned in his letter...but why? is he so in tun #tune with despair that he understands that he will never get what he wants? is he affected by the drugs?#hes quiet and keeps to himself. hes gloomy and is tempermental. he tells himself to never forget what happened. he is a man haunted #in da capo when orpheus goes to fight him. he protects himself first but gets overwhelmed. he had an axe but others #speculated it to be him trying to save little girl(?) much of it is unknown but he cares #he cares because im his deductions you have to work with your teamates. you go to save them. it specifically makes you do that #in order to get his worn clothes #he tries to keep to himself bc hes only ever had himself growing up. he can only trust himself bc thats how he survived #you ever think how he was deeply broken before that?you ever think how he has probably seen people fall to their deaths in his line of work #he keeps himself closed off so he will be hurt less #and hes silly too :(#i always think about how in game his graffiti or pictures have him smiling. when in canon he never does.#and you know what hurts more.... his soulcatcher skin. the day of the dead. it hurts because he has no one to remember him.#no one would ever mourn him :(( he cannot find peace in life and in death. a constant reminder #the tags are so long i dont think itll even show up on tags aha i might make a post about it then #i just think he is so lovely #my art #digital art #identity v #idv #idv art #norton campbell

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duskholland · 2 years

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tumblr has come up in both of my seminars since starting back at uni … vexing …

#in the context of ppl have found out history facts from here…#still i jolt every time the name is spoken. like tumblr doesn’t belong in academic settings. why is she here #anyways hi ^_^#im gonna answer some thingys in my askbox tomorrow sorry i’ve been mia ^_^#i got put on antidepressants and i’ve been rlly nauseous #also last night i got high and michael jackson started playing and i literally felt my soul leave me #that’s not why i haven’t been around tho JFHDNDJD just a tidbit. but i’ve been busy suffering w uni etc #hope you’re all doing well #/gen i rlly appreciate anyone that is still around #+ i love scrolling the dash and seeing all the people i know like :’) we r bonded i’ve known so many people for so long #omg im gonna cry. IM UNBALANCED TODAY. omg. ok. it’s fine. thanks tho #h.txt #drugs tw #?#sorry i think i’m still a bit high thise edibles were so strong holy shit

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wikagirl · 1 year

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I did some self analyzing and I feel like where other people have daddy issues I have big brother issues because growing up all that fucker ever did way bully me, he still does a lot of times, and when I was bullied in school by my classmates he just kind of stood by and never stepped up for me when I couldn't defend myself or the teachers chose to ignor me. Not even when when Jonas that fucking asshole took a lighter to my hair at the bus stop.

And I dunno I guess I just kind of get over attached to characters in videogames that give me "cool older sibling" vibes. Like I'm not thirsting over them but I like them more than just as a neat character and I feel like they would have knocked Jonas' stupid ass teeth out one by one for what he fucking did if they had been there instead of my actual brother and not just stood there cosplaying as a lamppost and even laughed about it.

#this is about wrench. and zer0. and kerry eurodyne. and cayde-6. and dorian. and ezio. and ratonhnhaké:ton/connor. and farkas and vilkas.#jonas got in trouble a year or two ago for drugs and cracking open a very expensive car and trashing it btw :D #fucker was notorious for bullying girls he didn't find attactive #which says a lot about him because the only girls in class he didn't bully were also the only ones that had bullemia #they'd hide in the bathrooms for the entire rest of the lunchbreak to purge together #and called other girls obese when they couldn't touch their fingertips in front of their belly button if they put their hands on their hips #I find it kinda funny how the dudes that tend to fatshame the most are the ones that have fat mothers #I'm saying this as a dig at the hypocracy of the dudes by the way #like if they talk like that to strangers then I don't want to know what kind of verbal abuse their mothers have to suffer at home #honestly if 13 year old me was fat in his eyes then what the hell was his own mother to him #His mother is really lovely by the way she works as a doctors assistand at a kids clinic and part times as a waitress in a café #and feel seriously sorry for her because you can tell that she tries so so hard and her son just completely disregards all the work she doe #in favour of trying to be “cool with the boys” and a “alpha male” and all that kind of shit.#tw ed

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inkykeiji · 2 years

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。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

#tw clari overshares #about family and stuff #whew what a morning #i’ve never had to call 911 so many times in my life but it’s over now and everyone’s safe #i feel so tired and like i don’t want to do anything but sleep now #basically:#as i think quite a few of you know my dad is very very sick #and he’s slowly dying #he has a lot of trouble moving around and as a result he falls sometimes #i’m able to take care of most of his needs while i’m at home with him but he is a very big man and i am a very tiny girl and when he falls #i cannot lift him (i threw out my back trying to this morning)#thankfully i was able to get help quickly and efficiently but i still feel all shaken up #as complex as my relationship with my extremely abusive father is i am not a heartless bitch and i do not enjoy seeing him (or anyone else)#in such pain and suffering #but anyway. i’m glad i was able to help and remedy the situation quickly #wesley is cuddling me now and he is such a source of comfort and sunshine <333 #i had plans to work on a fic today but the last thing i want to do at this current moment is write about drug addicts lmao #maybe later tho #or maybe just something more comforting; i have quite a few genshin oneshots in the works hehe #i hope everyone is having a good day <3 #and i hope your morning wasn’t as turbulent as mine hahaha #in case it wasn’t clear: my father is a drug addict

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oglegoggle · 1 year

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My body aches so fucking bad, my dudes.

#this is goggles #it’s times like this my heart is extra achey for one of the things that made me stay with my ex as long as I did #I could bother him to massage me and it felt amazing #he commented once that my muscles feel exactly like those of an ex whom had fibromyalgia #honestly I haven’t stopped thinking about that and I don’t exactly know what to do about it #like fuck I am like always in pain #I’ve never really actively acknowledged that before #I was just like under the impression that some level of constant pain is just the human condition #and my parents like would actively shame me for drug seeking whenever I would ask for a painkiller #I kinda really feel like a great deal of my life has been defined by the expectation to just endure suffering with quiet grace #and it was a new experience that someone would suggest that my value isn’t determined by my capacity to just endure and stay quiet #that like I can and should actively seek and improved quality of life and that I can achieve it #it was a weird emotion paired against the expectation to just silently endure the ways he actively decayed my quality of life #the filth and squalor that filled my home was miserable and I was sick all the time and so stressed out by his awful pets #but I had to just accept that about him and if I don’t I’m not accomodating him #he taught me that I can seek better life and I’m out here seeking a better life #without him #not for lack of care about him but for his lack of care about me #I’m going to find a lover whom will actively care for me as much as I care for them #honestly I would legitimately love to be with someone who makes me feel like I don’t have to be in charge and responsible all of the time #I would love to relax and not make choices and not have to be peacemaker and not have to be the voice of reason #I would love to be affectionately bossed around honestly #I don’t want to be the dd I don’t want to be the sitter I don’t want to be the bookkeeper or household manager or maid or dad or anything #I want to be useless and beautiful #I want to lay on my chest and have my legs rubbed until the pain recedes #and then my bussy destroyed lmfao

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jesuisgourde · 2 years

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just got prescribed adderall maybe my brain will start working right now

#i do definitely need it #but also i feel like that part in junky where william burroughs goes to his doctor and is like im sick give me morphine #and his doctor is just like okay man whatever you say #like i just listed out my symptoms and the lady was like oh yeah im giving you drugs for sure #it was so easy #the hard part is going to be the suffering of my wallet

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twpsyn-who · 2 years

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Don't you hate when you have a ff idea and start writting it, but the chapter writes itself and goes in a totally different direction than you would want and you get mad cuz that's not how you wanted things to go but you have to roll with it now. *looking angrily at my document*

Like fuck you Eddie it wasn't supposed to be about you man. Not yet anyway

#I have been building up the scene so Chrissy could get possessed and the boys could put a song up before she would die #and for what??? for Eddie to take ages to find some drug cuz he's the one possessed in his bedroom while these two talk #unbelievable #now explain to me how am I going to keep all tree of them alive when my original plan was for Eddie to get possessed much later #is like that fucker really wants to make everything about himself #don't mind me so angry cuz I couldn't stop writing until now despite having a lot of things to do #and for what??? for my whole plot to go away because Eddie takes ages to find some drugs. fuck you man #stranger things eddie #stranger things gareth #stranger things chrissy #Eddie wake up I don't like this get your ass in here so Vecna can go after Chrissy dude #'Why you don't edit the chapter?' I can not do that. Once I write something is like that for eternity and will not change #I can not rewrite a scene to save my life. Tried that a lot of times and is impossible #i will suffer in silence #sorry for rambling

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sleeperagentclone · 4 months

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I am too socially inept to deal with all the weird people my dad has collected over the years

#Like no my dad is not here right now because come back when he is #The old people who seem like they did too many drugs in the 70s/80s are more annoying #But like he'll set up a precedent of buying shit from homeless guys because “maybe they'll have something good someday”#And he'll just give them money which is all well and good (if I ever donate money to anything or give change to anyone I've been scammed)#But then he expects me (5'1 teenage girl looking ass) to refuse to give them money when he cuts them off #Like he is 65+ and over 6 feet tall I AM NOT #And like telling people who are seemingly unstable that you can't give them money and that no only the owner buys things and no you can't #Leave a pile of junk for him to look at later and no I can't give you any money over and over is fucking scary!#I am for sure speaking from a place of privilege because I would probably just be dead if not for my support network #I could very easily be on the other side of this I'm not fucking stable I can't hold down a real job #But I am just not equipped to be having these interactions and honestly I shouldn't be having them anyway #He keeps pretty regular hours and answers his phone so I don't understand why people are always looking for him when I'm here #I will say the homeless guys he buys from have gotten a lot better about coming in when he's actually here #And one of them Chris is perfectly nice he's a great artist but he also smells bad and is visiblely dirty sometimes and that sets off my ocd #and also makes me feel like a really shitty person for 'judging' him when I know that he doesn't have stable access to a shower #When I'm actually just suffering from my mental illness and that can also trigger the intrusive thought side of the ocd #Where I get stuck in a loop of thinking I'm a terrible person #And also I just feel bad not giving him money #And like we sell his art in the store but people rarely buy it which is annoying because it's pretty fucking sick

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futuristicallyshadowyface · 8 months

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Can't even fucking SLEEP IN PEACE I like when it's silent complete silence but he's mumbling shit about me and I mute that shit and he comes and spit in my fucking room jesus christ

He acts like he's better than me while he's literally the worst person I know if I had to switch lives with him I'd literally kms there's nothing about him that's as grand as he thinks. I am quite literally so in love with myself it offends me when he thinks I want to be him like be serious all he does is drink and smoke all day and says he wants to father as much children as he can (and be a deadbeat too while he's at it) and days that's all that natters??? Not only that but my name is constantly coming out their fucking mouths like it I want to be you so bad why are you always talking about me

He's so pathetic I can't even feel sorry for him, just anger at the fact that's who I have as a brother

#yeah I get we all deal with shit and I know it's going to sound back but just cut yourself and get on with ut #instead of roping everyone into ur dumb bullshit keep it to yourself and suffer in silence #I'm so beyond the point of empathy with him like I can't even fucking sleep in peace #and he threatened the altar I have with the only thing that gives me security like that's it man #and don't get me wrong it's not like I decided nah fuck him one night either #at first I was willing to try and help to get his ass to stop and his reactions were to offer me drugs or to fuck myself practically so #hope my mom helps him I guess once she decides to stop supplying his liquor 🤥🤥#she says she'll stop but I think for sure she will this time! (she won't!!)

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shadow4-1 · 3 months

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I'm just imagining having spent the night with a lover who isn't in the 141, only to wake up the next morning and there's in intervention waiting for you in the rec room.

Like, at first you're just confused. But when Price opens his mouth to ask you about how you slept...you have a bit of a meltdown. Why does it matter? Why is everyone staring at you? What's going on?

Soap grabs the collar of your t-shirt and pulls it down so everyone can get a look at the dark hickies dotting your neck. You slap his hand away, tears in your eyes.

"So all of you can do whatever you want? Sneak bitches on base and fuck around at all the bars we pass through! But I'm not allowed to do anything with someone I actually like?!"

It hurts. It feels like you're being stripped bare in front of them.

Price sighs, his gaze softens. It's obvious he doesn't want to have this conversation but something you've done has given him no choice. Soap just stands a few feet away, chest puffed out, eyeing you with a strange annoyance. You know if you try to leave he'll stop you.

"You are...not in the same position as us." Price tries and winces. He's obviously not putting his thoughts into soft enough words, but he continues. "You are...it is our responsibility to keep you safe."

"Safe? You're trying to keep me safe?" Your voice is raised higher than you've ever raised it at Price. "Safe by what? Fighting off all the guys at the bars? Safe by spreading lies about me to all of the PMCs and the other Task Forces?"

Price just closed his eyes and set his jaw. He had to know about the subterfuge you'd been experiencing for well over a couple years now. Everyone in the room was guilty as charged.

"You're and asset. And you're also a liability." Ghost speaks up, eyes narrowed, stance way too relaxed against the metal folding chair he sits in. "Do you remember what happened to the 7th Division?"

Saliva pools in your mouth, a sudden queasiness filling your stomach. Yeah, of course you remembered. Their beloved medic had been kidnapped by a group of angry drug lords using a mercenary group as their muscle. The 7th Division had gone in guns blazing to get their member back and well...they'd been wiped out. And their star medic they'd sacrificed everything for? She'd been brainwashed and inducted into the very agency that stole her away.

KORTAC

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" You mutter. "Please tell me you're not."

"We can't have you fraternizing with anyone." Price states smoothly. "As our medic, you have a responsibility to us, your team. We can't have you getting caught up in something bigger."

"I understand what you're saying, but can't you see how ridiculous this is?" You try to reason. "I'm human, I have- god this is embarrassing. I h-have wants and...needs, just like you guys."

The silence is loud. You can't meet anyone's gaze. Price steps closer to you, swallowing hard. His next few words are spoken softly, conspiratorially.

"All of your needs will be taken care of. We will never let you suffer by yourself."

Price cocks his head to the men before you both. All of them straighten beneath his gaze. Price places a hand on the small of your back.

"Whatever it takes." He commands them. "I better not hear or see anything. Do I make myself clear?"

A trio of "yessirs" bounce off the white walls. Price just smiles and nods. He pats your back.

"There we go. You'll be fine." He sighs. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to your guest."

Your eyes widen, your throat drops into your stomach.

"Wait!"

"We've got ye, Bonnie. You n' all yer needs."

Six hands are on you from several different angles. Their massive frames block out the fluorescent lights.

"Ah, where are you goin'?" Gaz chuckles, his arm wraps around your belly.

You try to run after Price but the rec room door is slammed shut and locked. You try to push the closest man away, but he just grins down at you.

#cod imagines #mw2 #call of duty #mw2 headcanons #simon ghost riley #cod mwii #john soap mactavish #captain price #simon riley x reader #kyle gaz garrick

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