#his teenage daughter; and his male best friend who he’d decided to marry so he could 1) change his name for anonymity

[fingertipsmp3]

Had an absolutely wild dream last night

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

Us and Andie Ch. 13

Summary: Bucky works as an Avenger because it’s what’s right. He feels he has sins he’ll never be able to make up for, but he’ll spend the rest of his life trying. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he comes across Andie, the daughter of recently divorced Y/N. The life he had once “maintained” in hopes of surviving changes as his heart warms for a tough-as-nails nurse and her wonderful daughter.

Pairing: Bucky x Singleparent!Reader

Word Count: 3276 words

Series Masterlist - Masterlist

A/N: Victims come from all experiences. Sometimes we can’t tell who they are at first glance and it takes time to understand where they’re coming from. If you ever need someone to talk to, know my inbox is always open.

“None of this makes sense.” Y/N flopped onto Angie’s bed, covering her face with her arms.

Ciara snorted, taking a sip of her tea as she took a seat straddling Angie’s desk chair. She propped her arms against the back, reminding Y/N, “Girl, we live in a time where we see iron-men flying through the sky. Some of our best protectors are Gods, centurions, and a Hulk, remember?”

“Mutants like your little girl are getting more common every day and you got it in your head that a little male attention is weird.” Angie shook her head, handing Y/N the cup of hot chocolate she had requested. 

“Okay, but!” Y/N sat up, warming her hands with the mug. “The male attention is coming from one of the previously mentioned centurions. That is weird.”

Angie immediately leaned forward, unable to hide her highly entertained smile. “That’s still a thing?” She saw the way Y/N avoided her gaze, suddenly fascinated with her hot chocolate. “Y/N? What are you hiding?”

“Can we stop acting like teenagers?” Y/N stood, immediately leaving the room with her two friends hot on her heels. “I swear, I thought we left high school behind a while ago.”

Ciara and Angie shared a look before turning back to Y/N. “We’re nurses. Gossiping is in our blood.”

“Well, leave me out of it.”

“Y/N, I say this as your friend,” Ciara told her. “You are allowed to feel something. You are allowed to like a guy and pursue something. Especially when it’s someone who adores Andie and you as much as Bucky does.”

Y/N sighed. “I know. I know I do and I know you’re right. Both of you are and that’s why…Bucky and I…” She felt heat rise in her cheeks, knowing very well that she was probably as red as the mug in her hands. “We’re trying.”

If there was a way to describe the look Ciara and Angie had given her, Y/N wished she knew what it was. The two girls looked like they had dislocated their jaws. Their eyes seemed about ready to pop out of their skulls. And it made Y/N laugh harder than she had in a long time.

Angie was the first to recover, smiling when she saw Y/N look so happy. “There’s our girl’s smile. I thought you lost it for a while there.”

Y/N faltered, still smiling but no longer laughing. She set the mug down and Ciara saw the tears in her eyes. “Oh, honey…What is it?”

Y/N wanted to tell them everything instead of the bullshit lies that Everett and Tony told her to use instead. They were trying to keep things on the down low. And while Y/N understood that, she hated lying. She hated that she had to use a week’s worth of PTO so that her body healed enough where the biggest question was: What happened to your head? Shaking her head, she provided a weak, half-hearted lie, “I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

Ciara and Angie shared a look. They knew they could call her out, question her until she decided to tell them the truth. But they weren’t those kinds of friends. They understood that there were somethings Y/N just wasn’t ready to talk about. So, instead of prying, they squeezed Y/N into an obnoxious hug, earning a groan.

“Owwww.”

“Shut up, you love it.”

“Just like we love you.”

However, the sweet moment was caught short when Ciara caught sight of the time on the stove. “Oh shit, who’s getting Andie?”

Y/N’s ears turned a bright pink. “Uh...about that...”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The hustle and bustle of New York’s complex streets filled Bucky’s ears, but it was nothing compared to the excited squeals coming from Andie’s school. The kids had been let out, running to family members and ready to take on the rest of their day. He didn’t remember a time when he was that young. Perhaps it was because so much time had gone by, but he was okay with it.

Especially when he saw the look on Andie’s face when she spotted him.

She ran ahead, waving goodbye to her friends and joining his side. “Bucky! I didn’t know you were picking me up!”

Bucky laughed as she adjusted the cap on her head, her free hand taking his. “Would you rather Birdbrain?”

Andie’s nose scrunched up. “Nah, but where’s mom?”

“She is taking a day for herself. Something I think we can both agree she needs, right?”

Andie couldn’t nod fast enough, earning a smile. Bucky chuckled, flicking the cap and earning a pout from her. His gaze shifted, looking at the other kids for the briefest moment.

And that’s when he saw some familiar faces.

“Andie, aren’t those your brothers?”

Andie looked over her shoulder and nodded. There they were with their mom – Lori. She hadn’t seen her since the aquarium. “Yeah. Lori looks a lot happier than the last time we saw her.”

That piqued Bucky’s interest. He studied her, recalling that day at the aquarium. Even though it was colder now, she wasn’t covering everything like she had that day. Her hair was natural now instead of the almost too-straight style she had worn before. If Andie hadn’t pointed out who it was, he doubted he would have recognized her.

She looked happy for someone whose husband was arrested. Knowing that…it gave him an idea.

“Andie…” He crouched in front of her. “I need to talk to Lori for a second.”

Andie raised an eyebrow until she saw that look in his eyes. She didn’t need to be told that this was about her dad. She just knew. Nodding, she took a seat on the nearby bench as Bucky approached the three.

“Um…Lori? Right? Lori Creed?”

She looked up, surprise clear in her features when she recognized who was talking to him. “Uh…”

“Mom, that’s the Winter Soldier!”

Lori’s smile didn’t reach her eyes as she looked down at the older of her sons. “I know, Elijah. Why don’t you two go over there and play for a bit, okay?”

Elijah glanced at Bucky, a part of him clearly wanting to introduce himself. However, he simply took his brother’s hand and tugged him towards their group of friends. Lori watched them, unable to bring herself to look at Bucky as she asked, “This is about Ethan, isn’t it?”

-

“Please, tell Y/N how sorry I am.”

“I will,” Bucky promised. The two had been talking for a bit, sitting on a bench and watching Elijah and Theo. Andie was working on her homework and listening to music, a level of patience that Bucky really appreciated in this moment. “Can I just ask why you helped him?”

Lori looked down at her folded arms. “Honestly? When you know you have no control over your life, you cling to the idea that maybe you have a say. It’s just survival.” Bucky was silent. Though he’d never been married, never been abused like Y/N or Lori, he could find a way to understand that. “I hadn’t even realized how much he influenced everything until he was gone. The clothes I wore, my hair, what I ate and how much…” She shook her head. “He used to tell me how angry Y/N would make him, and I was just relieved that I was never her. He made her sound so horrible. I didn’t realize it was really him until it was too late. By then, we had the boys and the type of abuse wasn’t the same. It was…I felt like I didn’t have a right to think I was being controlled or abused. I didn’t want to believe I was a victim.”

“Until he was gone?”

She nodded, a single tear slipping down her cheek and quickly getting wiped away. “So please, let her know I am so sorry.”

Nothing was said for a moment.

“I hate to ask this, but…could you do Y/N and Andie a favor?”

Lori looked at him. “I guess it would depend on what it was.”

Bucky glanced at Andie. A friend had joined her and the two were talking. She looked so happy to the rest of the world, but he saw the signs. She’d lost weight during the last week and her eyes had lost that shine. She smiled, but very rarely did it ever reach her eyes anymore. He had to try so hard to make her laugh more than a little giggle. And her sleep…Y/N had told him about how Andie spent almost every night in her bed now. He wanted to do anything he could to ease that burden and help her in some way. “Ethan is currently locked up, but you know the connections he has.”

Lori was silent. She knew all too well.

“A member of the CIA wants them to testify against Ethan and the others who…” He swallowed, clenching his jaw. He didn’t want to remember that night’s events. “Y/N refuses to have Andie testify.”

“Of course. She’s already been through so much.”

“Exactly. But they feel Y/N won’t be enough because of her personal history with Ethan.”

Lori looked at him, understanding what he was getting at. “You want me to tell them what I knew?”

“Then we can get all three of them sent to a facility where they’ll be locked away forever. You’ll never have to worry about Ethan coming back. It’ll be you and your kids. You’ll be safe.”

Lori turned back to her sons. They were laughing. There was so much hope there. Ethan had yet to do much damage to either of them. And she wanted to keep it that way. “But won’t they arrest me? For helping?”

“I’ll make sure they won’t. They’ll understand you were a victim just like Y/N.”

Lori drew her lip between her teeth, as if nervous to give an answer. He could understand being nervous. She was finally feeling freedom and he was asking her to face Ethan again.

“I wouldn’t be asking this if it wasn’t one of our best options.”

Lori nodded, squeezing her hands tightly. “Let me think about it?”

Bucky’s heart sunk. But he refused to give up, clinging to a bit of hope. “Okay. Let me give you my number in case you want to help.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“So what were you two talking about?” Andie asked, trying to talk around the massive bite of pizza she had taken.

“I wanted to check in and see how she was doing after everything.” Bucky knew better than to voice everything to her. No matter how much older she acted, Andie was still a child. Changing the subject, he asked, “How was school?”

Andie shrugged. “Boring, but Mom thinks it’s good for me to get back to a routine.”

“Is that what she told you?”

“She didn’t have to.”

Bucky chuckled. “Sometimes I forget how smart you are, Rainbow.”

She didn’t bother to hide her smirk. It was cocky and, in that moment, she looked almost as arrogant as Tony. “I know.”

“Okay, no more hanging out with Tony unsupervised.”

Andie rolled her eyes, but chose not to argue. Instead, they went back to Y/N’s new apartment. It was in the same building as Bucky, but a couple floors below. Tony had pulled a few strings and was paying the difference, refusing to let Y/N argue because he felt it was the least that they could do. Truthfully, Bucky liked having them closer. He knew they were safe here. It was a better neighborhood, the layout was safer, and the overall space was bigger, allowing them to have some privacy.

The lock slipped open and Andie ran inside, making a beeline for the kitchen. The almost open concept of this apartment wasn’t like the other. The kitchen was massive, separated by the living room only by a bar. Y/N’s old couch was replaced by a larger one deemed big enough to fit the Avengers that seemed to constantly be checking up on them. “Didn’t I buy you pizza a few minutes ago?”

“Maybe,” she told him, reaching for the cabinet to pull out some M&Ms. He shook his head as she filled a small bowl, knowing this was a normal routine for her. She went to the living room and pulled out the rest of her homework, getting to work. “Are you staying for dinner tonight?”

He paused, his mind immediately jumping back to that morning when Andie had snuck into Y/N’s room and caught the two innocently cuddling. While they were able to downplay it and assure Andie that nothing had happened, it seemed she was just waiting for them to tell her when they were “officially” dating. “That is a question for your mom, Rainbow.”

Andie nodded before looking over her shoulder. “Why do you keep calling me that?”

Bucky smirked, pulling out stuff to make food as a surprise for Y/N when she got back. “Are you really asking me that?”

“Really really.”

Bucky snorted, remembering when they had watched Shrek the other day. “I’ll let you figure that out.” He turned to preheat the oven, surprised when he was met with silence. Normally Andie always had some little quip to say in retaliation. Turning around, panic stirred in his chest when he didn’t see her in the living room. “Andie? Where are you?” He left the kitchen, food forgotten, as he looked around the living room. She was no where visible around the couch, loveseat, or coffee table. His stomach twisted. “Fuck, Andie, come on! Where are you?”

His mind started racing, imagining the worst. “Andie!” He checked the halls, their rooms, and still found nothing. The only place left was the balcony. “Andie?” He stepped out, looking around at the hanging chair, plants, and hoping that maybe she would just magically appear.

Click.

Bucky froze, closing his eyes. Did he just… Turning on his heel, he saw nothing at first. But then that familiar rainbow hue glowed from her skin and she reappeared. Andie was smirking, arms crossed and head tilted up as he walked right up to the door. There was absolutely no fear in her eyes. Only a glimmer of far too much amusement at her trick being successful.

He tried the door, finding it locked. Of course it was. “Andie, open the door.”

She cupped her ear, silently asking: What was that?

Bucky bit the corner of his mouth, trying to hide his smile. It had been a while since he’d seen her so at ease. Pointing at the handle, he waited.

But she made no move.

“I’m not breaking the door.”

“Then tell me why you call me ‘Rainbow’.”

Bucky pursued his lips, crossing his arms. He was at a standoff with a kid.

Because this was normal now.

“Andie, come on.”

She shook her head, mouthing an obnoxious, “Noooooope.”

Bucky sighed, running a hand over his face. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of the front door that he breathed a sigh of relief. He immediately recognized Y/N’s form, but was surprised when he saw two others. It took him a moment to remember Ciara, but the other was still a stranger. “Um…help?” he called, earning the attention of all three women.

There was silence as they seemed to piece together what had happened. “Did she really?” Ciara looked at Y/N who was already shaking her head, hiding her smile with her hand.

“I absolutely did!”

Angie laughed, unable to wrap her head around the fact that a kid was able to trick the Winter Soldier. “Oh, that is amazing.”

Y/N hurried to the door, unlocking it and letting him in. Bucky smiled at her, barely suppressing the urge to kiss her. “Give me one second,” he told her before settling his gaze on Andie.

The shrillest squeal slipped from Andie’s lips as she took off running. Y/N yelped, ducking out of the way as her daughter leapt over the back of the couch with Bucky right on her heels. “Please, don’t break anything,” Y/N shouted as they ran into the hall. She heard the obnoxiously loud sound of Bucky’s shoulder colliding with a wall. It earned a wince from all three women, but that reaction was short lived.

Angie gave Y/N a look, grinning like the cat that ate the canary as she crossed her arms. “So this is the new normal, huh?”

“Shut up.” She pointed to Ciara before she even got a chance to say anything. “You too. Not a word.”

BAM!

Y/N flinched, immediately pressing a hand to her stomach. She held up the other, silencing the two women before they even had a chance to speak. Instead, they parroted, “Not a word.”

-

Bucky closed the door to Andie’s bedroom, coming to join Y/N back on the couch after having carried the girl to bed. He smiled as she immediately curled into his side, her head finding comfort right over his heart. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to say anything, shocked that she found herself so at ease with his arm. “I was thinking,” she whispered, fingers lightly tracing along his chest. “We should set Sam and Ciara up on a date.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, always entertained by this side of Y/N. She was much more vocal in opinions she normally kept to herself. Like setting up another nurse with an Avenger. “What happened to the different lifestyles thing?”

“It’s different,” she mumbled, giggling softly. “She works in the ER. Her skills work for you guys.”

Chuckling more to himself, Bucky said, “Alright. I’m sure I can get Sam onboard.”

Silence fell and Bucky started mindlessly watching the tv, as he listened to her breathing. It was nice to know that he brought her enough comfort to relax. Maybe even keep the nightmares at bay. His metal arm lightly traced along her back and arm as his cheek found comfort on top of her head. It wasn’t until he heard her breathing start to even out, that he thought she needed to go to bed. He smiled, kissing the top of her head. “You’re going to fall asleep here, Doll.”

She mumbled something incoherent, cuddling more into his side as she wrapped her arm around his waist. “Y/N,” he whispered, nose brushing against her hairline. “Sweetheart.”

“You’re too cozy. I blame you for this,” she murmured, earning a deep laugh.

“I think you’re the first person to tell me that.”

Half asleep and without a filter to stop herself, she said, “Hopefully the last.”

Bucky froze when he heard that, hiding his smile in her hair. He wouldn’t comment or question that, finding it too sweet to take away from the moment. No, for now he would keep that to himself. “Y/N, what about Andie?”

“Andie’s too smart,” she murmured, most of her voice muffled by his shirt.

“Doll…” If it were any other situation, he would simply fall asleep and not think about what happens in the morning. But he knew holding Y/N to her sleepy comments was not a good idea. So instead, he picked her up and carried her to her room.

The balancing act that required opening the door and tucking her in had become far too normal for him during his time with her. In fact, it had become part of their normal routine. As he pulled the covers up to her chin, he watched her immediately cuddle into the thick covers like a small child. He smiled, crouched in front of her and wordlessly brushing her hair out of her face. “You are going to be the death of me, Doll. There’s no stopping it.”

-.-.-.-.-.- A/N Pt. 2: More fluff this chapter than there has been in a while. Sorry that this chapter is on the shorter side, but we got a lot of fluff and story progress coming up.

@buckyssoul

@littleredstarfish

@lets--be-honest

@booktease21

@maggyme13

@amnahs9695

@niahmariec

@purplekitten30

@mishaandthebrits

@mr-robot-x​

[astraphobe]

[ LAWRENCE “LARS” MALKIN. 40. CISMALE. HE/HIM ] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 20 YEARS ] and are originally from [ OREGON ]. They are a [ MECHANIC ] and in their downtime love [ PLAYING HIS ELECTRIC GUITAR ] and [ WRITING MUSIC ]. They look a lot like [ CHRIS PRATT ] and live [ IN OASIS APTS ]. (ooc: otto, 19, he/him, cst)

hello !! i’m otto and this is my first muse here. he’s garbage but, like, good garbage ?? compost ?? idk. anyway. i hope you guys like your man-children middle aged and with two kids because if you expected anything else you’re gonna be dissapointed.

BASICS.

Name:  Lawrence Malkin. Nickname: Everyone calls him Lars, but his mom and dad used to call him Larry. He hated it. Gender: Cis-male. Sexuality: Gay (homosexual, homoromantic). Race: Caucasian. Age: 40 ( 01/10/1980 ). Zodiac: Capricorn. Hometown: Grants Pass, Oregon. Current residence: Oasis Apartments. Career: Mechanic.

Astra inclinant, sed non obligant !

this is the background bit. i didn’t want it to be long but it ended up being long, so if you don’t wanna read it you don’t have to. i did spend a lot of time on it, though. hopefully it isn’t shit. enjoy ( but only if you want ) !

world, meet lars. lars, meet world. he’s ... going through it right now. not a lot of things have gone right for him.

he’s the youngest of five in a strictly evangelical household. everything was about rules and if he didn’t abide by them, he’d be punished. he remembers getting hit with switches and belts and wires. he’d be locked in prayer closets and forced to confess his sinful thoughts. he recited every word of scripture, was slain in the spirit, proselytized to all of his friends, and he got nothing but fear and anger out of it --- it was all very ... carrie, but without the promises of superpowers.

when he started going to a secular public high school his entire viewpoint shifted. he made friends who snuck him into rated r movies to watch him squirm at things he’d never heard of before. he started smoking cigarettes, smoking grass, failing classes, and playing sinner’s music on his guitar. strict parents make sneaky kids, he used to be able to all of this in his church clothes.

after high school lars stopped talking to the rest of his family. he rented an apartment with his friends for a two year stint at community college ( he was an automotive specialist major ) and started a band with them in silver lake once he graduated. he never really wanted to talk about girls or stare at nudie magazines like the rest of them, no. he just wanted to make music. until he met margo and his life fell apart.

he only started to date her because it felt right and she promised to take care of him. no one else has ever made the effort to take care of him --- he’d been locked in closets and hit with willow tree branches for the duration of his adolescence. he just wanted comfort.

after he met her, she was the only thing on his mind outside of his band. it wasn’t love, though, even if that was what he thought it was. everything seemed perfect. it all seemed like a normal he could get used to. until she got pregnant and they weren’t ready. she was 24, he was 25, they were both fucked. this was the beginning of the end of them.

click ... click ... click ... boom ! shotgun wedding. as soon as he signed that paper he felt that straight man ball and chain around his ankle. he felt regret, he felt guilty, and, at first, an eighteen year weight stacked atop his shoulders. what more could he do other than ... grin and bear it.

he stopped talking to his friends, who were all busy having fun and playing music and doing everything he wanted to do and more. separating himself from the men he loved most, even if he didn’t want to say it, made him bitter. he stopped doing gigs to make more mechanic money. after the birth of his first daughter, yael, his life was boring and monotonous. five years down the line, margo threw out her birth control pills without letting him know. this was how his second kid, ruth, was brought into the world. it was also the straw that broke the camel's back.

the divorce was long and messy --- he’s glad his kids don’t really remember it too much. margo and lars ended up splitting custody with yael but because of the bullshit that came with ruth, she’s all his. he started meeting up with his friends for gigs again, rediscovering his passion for music. and also drugs. he’s reclaiming the youth he lost when he started dating margo, even though it’s a little weird. he’s happy but he’s not fulfilled, and his kids could see that, too.

the process ruined him financially, enough for the bank to foreclose his home only a few months after the split. he filed for bankruptcy, destroyed his credit score, and moved into a seedy two bedroom apartment ( which isn’t cheap in the city of angels ) that managed to be just a few blocks down from where one of his old friend lived. he came out while lars was married and he didn’t know until he saw the flag hanging in the window. he was curious about it, but we all know what that did to the cat.

lars doesn’t want to be gay, but everything he does makes him feel like he is. the way he talks, the way he sits, the way he cries while watching the notebook --- he knows these are all stereotypes now, but what would his younger self think ?? two kids, no money, AND he’s queer ?? he wants to push this all down, and he does, but he knows that it won’t do him any good either. he knows that everything will all implode, but that day isn’t today, and with any luck, it won’t be tomorrow. he’ll sit in his idea of normalcy until he can’t anymore.

Per angusta ad augusta !

bulletpoints and headcanons, baby !

lars loves his kids. like, a lot. when he was with margo he regretted them entirely but he doesn’t feel that way anymore. he wants what’s best for him, and he wants to give them everything his parents couldn’t give him. namely: love. he doesn’t want more kids, though. he’s saving up for a vasectomy.

he’s not a perfect parent, though. i wouldn’t even call him a great one because of how often he has to be away from them and how much he drinks his feelings. at least once a year he’ll go on a bender and he’ll have to pay a babysitter more than he can afford because of how long he’d be out for. now that his kids are old enough to pick up on these things, they’re becoming more and more concerned with his behavior. he can tell, it’s just another thing he’s trying to avoid bringing up. it’s just another thing that pushes him back to drink.

speaking of his kids. i love them. i love them just as much as i love lars. yael is fifteen and she’s a mini version of her father. when lars has the time, he teaches her to play the guitar on his old acoustic. she manages to make a’s and b’s and he could never be prouder, especially because he barely graduated high school himself. ruth, on the other hand, is an enigma and he doesn’t really understand her but he tries her best. she says a lot of things that ten year olds probably shouldn’t say, but he lets it slide because it’s funny. he’s had to raise her mostly by himself which has been a gigantic struggle for him, but it’s proving to be successful thus far. she really wants to be a teenager and she emulates teenagers to the best of her ability, but it’s what a ten year old thinks a teenager should act like, so it’s far from accurate. loves cleaning her room, though. it’s the most pristine part of their house and he has no clue why.

margo was jewish, so both of his kids are being raised jewish. he doesn’t really believe any of it himself, but his kids seem pretty happy. yael had a bat mitzvah and ruth is coming up on hers, but he has no idea how that’s going to work out because margo did 99% of the planning for yael and he doesn’t know how any of that shit works. ruth also decided that she wants to eat kosher now. she’s been like this for, like, a year and lars thought it would be a phase but at this point she’s in it for the long haul and there’s a pretty good chance she’s not going back on it.

when it comes to his sexuality ,,,, he has a lot of feelings. he acknowledges that being gay is a possibility but he’s definitely never thought enough about it to make a decision. at the same time, he’s hyper aware of anything that might make him seem gay so he dresses like a slightly grunge dad redneck and makes sure to never cross his legs when he sits down. despite all of this. he has had sex with men before. especially after margo. he fucked his gay friend, too. he doesn’t think they count because he was desperate. they count. don’t tell him.

he has five different guitars. the bulk of them sit in his closet, but he has names for all of them. they were his babies before his real babies. his first two were dr. jekyll and mr. hyde, an acoustic and an electric that took about six paychecks for him to finally buy. yael plays on dr. jekyll and he’s spent a lot of time thinking about how he wants to make it a family heirloom if she doesn’t smash it first. he got a white strat in college that he named angel because of how gorgeous she sounds. i'm gonna stop here because this bullet would be so fuckin long if i didn’t. i like guitars. he likes guitars. maybe i’m projecting. who knows ! not me.

it’s easy to assume that his band never really went anywhere. cause it didn’t. they play heavy, heavy, heavy rock and that’s incredibly out of the mainstream right now. their band, shit and sugar, did get a little bit of recognition in the local underground scene during the early 2000s. now they’re just older dudes that play in diy venues and bars sometimes. lars is pretty sure he’s been called a geezer a few times by teens yael’s age.

despite never really getting off of the ground in the music industry, he’s very good at what he does. there’s not a lot left for him to learn in terms of technique and his style of playing is very uniquely his. big inspirations for him include the likes of rivers cuomo, jimi hendrix, kirk hammett, and dimebag darrell.

all in all, he’s an extroverted ball of energy most of the time. he’s got a lot of ideas and he’s very goal oriented, even if he doesn’t end up achieving them. not the smartest tool in the shed, either. he’s childlike and playful in the best way possible. again, most of the time. this ends up biting him in the ass a lot. especially because of how impulsive he is.

Ars longa, vita brevis !

wanted connections ! i’m definitely going to put one or two up on the main but here are a few that i think would work nicely.

people he met through music ---- even though people don’t know about shit and sugar you’d definitely recognize him if your character frequents local bars and DIY venues in sketchy basements. from friends to enemies, i think this one has a lot of breathing room for ~ creativity ~ and all that.

neighbors ---- he’s a guitarist. it’s a loud hobby. he’s nice to everyone in the complex, but god, that’s gotta get annoying.

men he fucked that “don’t count” ---- some of these could’ve ended seamlessly. maybe they get beers now. maybe your character hates him. maybe your character pities him for being in so much denial about his own sexuality. maybe your character is trying to help him. this connection has, like, no limit and all of the plots can be different and unique i’m so excited for it. he’s a bottom, if anyone was curious.

unlikely pals ---- this character is probably the exact opposite of a fuckup. god knows why they even associate with lars. but they do, and they want the best for him. hey !! maybe lars can break them out of their shell a bit.

potential romance ??? owo ??? ---- i really want this to happen because i want lars to eventually come to terms with his sexuality. all he wants is mutual love and good sex. safety, stability, all that good stuff. shouldn’t come without hardship, though. if you have a good idea make sure to make it angsty because i live off of that shit.

someone he doesn’t like ---- i thought of this one because it’s incredibly hard for lars to not like someone. he finds amazing qualities in most people, but he’s prone to holding grudges. i want a character who he just can’t see any good in filling this connection. how fun would that be, right ??

a jewish friend that helps him out with his jewish kids ---- i’m the knowledgeable jewish friend in 99.9% of my friend groups. most people don’t have a knowledgeable jewish friend out of necessity, but he definitely needs one because he doesn’t know shit about some of the things his kids talk about. i swear, ruth mentioned how eggs are pareve and he short circuited please help this poor dude out.

ok that’s. that’s it. i’m done running my mouth on main, but if you wanna plot or just hear me run my mouth about dumb and unimportant shit hit me up here or on discord ( deus ex machina #2294 ) !!! i’m more active on discord because i don’t have this acc always up on my phone. i’m so excited to write with you all !!!!

[bbclesmis]

‘Valjean is like Spider-Man’

DOMINIC WEST FIGURES he's played his share of awful people. The serial killer Fred West in Appropriate Adult? Jimmy McNulty, the Baltimore cop in The Wire? A lovable rogue, but a rogue nonetheless. Noah Solloway, the lead in The Affair? "He's deeply silly," West contends. "Just a silly man!" In the film Colette (out this Friday), he plays a sadistic husband who locks his gifted wife (Keira Knightley) away and makes her write books for which he claims credit.

"As an actor, you do live with these people and experience what they're feeling," sighs the actor, 49. "If they're a******s, it's exhausting and ultimately degrading. So it was such a relief to play someone who's great." And he smiles that irascible smile, the one that makes you root for West even when he's playing murderers and pretentious, adulterous novelists.

Jean Valjean, West's character in the BBC's adaptation of Les Miserables, is not only "great" in the actor's eyes. He is nothing less than the "greatest hero in all literature": a superhero ex-convict who has spent 19 years in prison being tortured by Inspector Javert (David Oyelowo) for stealing a loaf of bread, but who determines on his release to be the best possible man he can be... with heartbreaking results.

West considers Victor Hugo's French revolutionary epic to be the "greatest novel ever written", too - "much better than War and Peace!" - and certainly much better than the famous musical (he's not a fan).

"Valjean is not just a good guy, he's an amazing guy. Like Spider-Man!" he beams. "He climbs up the sides of buildings to rescue kids. And he has the legitimacy of intense suffering; he's done 19 years of hard labour. That knocks Iron Man into a cocked hat! Then you get into the humanity of Valjean, his demons, his desperate need to redeem himself... He's trying not to be the brute that the prison has turned him into. You become a better person by spending time with someone like that."

He has asked me to his home, a converted brewery in Wiltshire that he shares with his wife, Catherine FitzGerald, and four children - Dora, 11, Senan, ten, Francis, nine, and Christabel, five - "I'm trying to cut down," he jokes. (He has another daughter, Martha, from his first marriage, who is studying English at Oxford and wants to act.) "I think all households should have a five-year-old girl running round," he says. "I just think it's better for children. Stops them from becoming little princesses. It's much harder to be a spoilt brat as one of four."

HE OPENS THE door unshaven and unkempt with a general air of bohemian bonhomie. He puts on a succession of silly voices as he leads me through to his kitchen. "Teas? Light refreshments? Do we want hot milk in our coffees? Yes?" He's such a chameleon as an actor that even his own accent sounds as if it's put on. He was educated at Eton, but his family isn't proper posh. His Irish father owned a plastics factory in Sheffield, his mother was an actor and he's the sixth of seven children.

The Wests have been doing up the house for about three years, but only moved in last summer - there are paintings waiting to be hung, pieces of Lego, mugs, antiques scattered around... The house used to be a "very manageable cottage next to a derelict brewery, but having decided to connect them all together they're only now getting used to the layout. "There are about five different doors to choose from. I didn't realise how spread out it would be. It's enormous!" They moved from west London to give the kids more space to range around when they're teenagers: "I want my kids to be around trees and animals more."

We take refuge in his office, up in the rafters of the old brewery, where he sinks into an armchair and resumes recounting his love affair with Les Miserables.

THE BBC VERSION is written by Andrew Davies and picks up more or less where his adaptation of War and Peace left off. It opens on the field of Waterloo in 1815 in the aftermath of Napoleon's defeat. Back in Paris, the royalists are resurgent - but can't quell the forces unleashed by the Revolution.

In the first episode, we follow Valjean's ill-starred attempts at redemption after his nemesis, Javert, releases him; meanwhile, the grisette Fantine (Lily Collins) falls for a cad (Johnny Flynn) and becomes pregnant with little Cosette - whose path will cross with Valjean's in the future. Six episodes, much heartache and many improbable coincidences will take us all the way up to the 1832 June Rebellion in Paris.

West hadn't read the epic novel, but now that he has, he's a convert. He even loves Hugo's digressions into the design of the Paris sewers. "Actually, I'd have loved it if we could have made six seasons out of it," he says. 'There's more than enough material and it's all important and relevant. As with any great classic, it's big enough to handle any amount of interpretations."

Javert's antipathy to Valjean is one of the engines of the plot - but it's also something of a mystery. Why does Javert hate him so much? "I always like to trace motivations to sex," West says. "I said to David, 'Javert obviously fancies him!' But he thought that was crass."

Did the rivalry extend off-set? "You're never quite sure where the character ends and the actor starts," he laughs. "But the key to David is that he's actually royal. He's a prince in Nigeria. And he doesn't drink. He's very religious. He's been married to his wife since he was 19 and they have four beautiful children. I hadn't realised people like that existed in the acting world! He's a very inspiring guy."

The co-stars decided it was the shared trauma of being institutionalised that set their characters against one another. "Valjean doesn't think he deserves anything other than brutality. Javert is constantly reminding him he's just a common criminal who breaks rocks and murders people."

Oyelowo is one of a number of non-white actors in the cast, marking a departure from traditional costume-drama casting. West jokes that he really wanted to do it all with 'A1lo'Allo accents, but: "Like any classic, it's not a museum piece. It has relevance to modern life. Eponine and the girls all talk like modern London girls. And therefore it looks like modern Britain, too."

THE PRODUCTION LOOKS likely to make Collins, as Fantine, a star. "She's incredible," says West. "It's an exhausting part. So harrowing. Any actress who goes for it deserves all the accolades she gets..." The first scene they shot together was Fantine's death, filmed in a freezing manor house outside Brussels at 5am. "She really went for it. I was like, 'Oh my God! How did you do those spasm things?' She said, 'I just made it up'." I imagine it's reassuring to have West on set: he is very experienced, but doesn't take himself too seriously. Do the younger actors come to him for advice? "Pfah! No. I'm jaded and lazy."

The Wire was the show that brought him fame, as well as a credibility not usually open to Old Etonians. But originally he didn't want to be in it. "And it turns out to have been the one thing that everyone knows me for and it was one of the best shows ever made! I think [creator] David Simon is almost the Victor Hugo of our time... certainly the Charles Dickens."

The Affair offers more escapist pleasure, its marital rows interspersed with good-looking people having sex (even if he doesn't think much of Noah). The Wests are about to decamp to LA for the filming of the final season, but it will be without Ruth Wilson this time. Last February, she disclosed in a Radio Times interview that she was "sure" she earned less than West. "I don't want more money, I just want equal money," she added. Not long after that her character Alison Bailey was killed off. What was all that about? "Oh, not related!" West yelps.

He remains good friends with Wilson. The main point of contention on set was whose behind would be visible in the sex scenes. "We used to fight about it. 'You're on top this time', 'No! I was on top the last three times!'"

He'd never given much thought to who was paid what, he says. "I never asked what the money is on a show. It was more a question of if I wanted to do it. So it woke me up to the issue. I never realised the disparity and the injustice."

It's one of a number of changes he has noticed since the #MeToo movement gained ground. "One thing that's happened is a positive discrimination in favour of female directors. But the main thing is that unacceptable behaviour from male directors or actors is now either not possible, or you can call them out on it. There was one guy in particular whose behaviour was disgusting. Particularly to young females in minor roles. I tried to counter it on several occasions. But now it wouldn't be so hard to get rid of them."

'Treatment of women has taken a big step back in television'

He twists his face in derision at those who feel the feminists have gone "too far". "Treatment of women has taken a big step back in the past 20 years," he says, his voice rising. "Particularly in television, which has become more pornographic and the burden of that falls squarely on young women. Things like Game of Thrones, where you get a pair of bare breasts every five minutes... I mustn't say this, but..." Say it!

"I'm fairly sure that 20 years ago young actresses would not have had pressure put on them to take their clothes off. The parts young actresses get, particularly pretty ones, involve violent rape. When I think about my daughter going into the profession... I'm just really glad that #MeToo has started to counteract what has happened in the past 20 years."

He puts it down to internet porn - "It's made boys feel that women are sex objects who are easily available" - as well as social media. "If you can swipe someone's face because you don't think they're pretty and it costs you that little... I haven't done it myself, but it cheapens it."

HE's CONCERNED AT the turn the world is taking: he mentions Trump, climate change, teenage boys becoming addicted to the online game Fortnite. A wariness of modernity seems to have inspired the move to the countryside; he and his wife are "luddites", he confesses. "I'm not one of those people who say, 'How can you bring children into this world?' But I do want to spend a lot more time hanging out with my kids and running around in forests."

Once he has finished filming the last season of The Affair, he plans to hire an enormous camper van, bundle the entire family into it and spend a few months driving around the States.

"It's the last chance we have," he explains. "They're nearly teenagers, so they're not going to want to spend that much time with their old man for much longer. I've spent a long time away from them. So we're taking six months, four months of it travelling. I've taken them out of school - there are no big exams. We'll home school them. They'll read. No screens. You're not going to get a better education than that. If you travel with as little as possible, you get much more interesting experiences."

Radio Times 5-11 January 2019

[siriuslyxpadfoot]

Well I just heard the news today It seems my life is going to change I close my eyes, begin to pray Then tears of joy stream down my face

The baby AU no one asked for with a lovely little Azkaban twist

OOC: This fic involved the canon character Fay Dunbar, but she has been aged down two years to be in the year below Ginny rather than in Harry’s year. Super brief appearances by Remus and Andromeda. @juniperthelionheart 

Sirius prowled through the halls, unsettled as he always was by how familiar it was but different at the same time. Most of the portraits were the same, but the people and even smells were not. In his human form, he may not have noticed it, but Sirius didn’t spend much time as a human anymore.

He paused, crouching down behind a tapestry near the Gryffindor common room portrait. If anyone looked too closely they would see him, but the only flag that would raise would be an illicit pet roaming the halls.

The portrait opened, and someone stepped through the portrait. Although his head was hidden, based on what he could hear, he was pretty sure there were two girls who had walked out, and they were moving rather quickly.

“Wait, Fay! Fay!” A male voice that matched with a pair of heavy footsteps came rushing through the portrait. “Dunbar!”

Sirius froze.

“No, Seamus. I don’t care. Whatever the excuse is, I don’t care.”

Seamus. That one was in Harry’s year; he’d figured that much out, and Sirius tried to focus on him, but it was hard when he’d heard her name. Had Jasper had children?

“But Fay—”

“Seamus, stop talking!”

The authority in her voice sent shivers down Sirius’ spine, and he popped his head out without even thinking. He froze at what he saw.

Of the two girls, it was clear which had been speaking, and Sirius might have gasped as a human at how much she looked like Juniper. Her face was softer, less angular, and her hair much darker, but the resemblance was still striking. Even as he tried to convince himself, Sirius doubted more and more that Jasper could be her father.

He watched frozen as she continued to argue with the Finnigan boy before turning on her heel and marching off with her friend. The walk wasn’t quite the same, but there was no doubt the girl carried herself like her mother.

Seamus watched her walk away, shoulders sagging with a defeat that reminded him of a young Peter. The very idea filled him with rage, and Sirius growled without meaning to. Seamus whirled around, a smile breaking across his face as he saw Sirius.

“Hey buddy,” he said, crouching down with his hand out. “Who do you belong to?” He make a clicking sound of beckoning that Sirius couldn’t stand, and since his cover was blown away, Padfoot took off down the hall. After rounding a few corners, he ducked into a passageway, mouth lolling out in a pant as he thought.

Juniper had a daughter. Juniper had a daughter with her own surname. Obviously she had to younger than Harry because Juniper certainly didn’t have a kid running around when they’d been together.

He squeezed his eyes shut with a whine, not wanting to think about that time. He’d been happy and naïve and lied to by Peter. The happy moments with people like James, Remus, Lily, and Harry hurt for everything that could have been if Peter hadn’t betrayed them. Thinking about Juniper hurt in different ways. He knew Remus now hated his guts. He didn’t know how she felt. He only knew she hadn’t been at the trial.

Maybe she’d been running into someone else’s arms in comfort. Maybe it had been a one night stand or maybe it had been common law, but clearly she’d found her way to someone else.

Because he hated himself and had for the past twelve years, Sirius began to do the math.

Harry had been born at the last possible minute to be in his year, and if she was the same, that would make her October-made. October of… He paused, going cold despite the fur covering him. October of 1981. November at the latest if she’d come early.

Sirius swallowed hard. It was possible. If it was an immediate rebound gone wrong, it was possible. He hated to think about what that would have put Juniper through, dealing with knowledge of what he’d supposedly done and a new baby from someone else.

But what if.

No, Sirius physically shook his head, fur flopping about.

Fay could not be his child. There was no possible way. Juniper would have told him if she was pregnant. The very idea that he could have a child filled him with a kind of dread Sirius had never experienced in Azkaban, and he thought he’d felt it all.

Sirius raised his head and let out a howl to get out his feelings.

As soon as he’d done it, Sirius knew he shouldn’t have, and he quickly dashed down the passageway to get as far from his own noise as possible. He could not get caught over something that might not be true.

Throughout the year, Sirius stayed focused on his mission. Peter needed to die, and Harry needed to be protected. But he couldn’t help shadowing Fay Dunbar whenever the occasion arose. He learned she was a first year who was boggled by her best friend’s muggle devices and preferred caramel to chocolate. She didn’t have Juniper’s nose, and he spent an hour one evening in Myrtle’s bathroom trying to decide if she had his. It could be.

Peter remained his primary concern. Then Peter got away.

But Harry. Harry was everything Sirius could have hoped for and more. He had friends who were smart and brave, and Sirius couldn’t help thinking Harry was everything James and Lily could have wanted. He was amazing.

Sirius couldn’t be with him for now, but he knew Sirius would be there for him.

Even better, Remus had seen it all and finally forgiven him. Remus didn’t hate him anymore. Sirius went from having nothing in the world to his best friend and a godson.

And now he had nothing to distract himself from the issue of Fay Dunbar. He might have a daughter to add to his growing list of people left in his world.

While staying with Remus, Sirius worked up the nerve to ask about Juniper. She’d never gotten married, but after it all, Remus hadn’t been able to stay in contact with her. (Sirius tried not to begrudge him for it.) He confirmed that Fay was Juniper’s but couldn’t tell Sirius when she’d been born. “Spring, maybe summer,” was the best estimate he could give.

Driven to desperation, he reached out to Andy. After many tears—and a few conversations with his niece—Sirius finally asked what he’d been afraid to. She pursed her lips and said she’d do it. According to hospital records, Fay Dunbar had been born May 16, 1982.

Juniper was almost three months pregnant when he went to Azkaban.

In late June, Sirius finally found himself on her doorstep. It wasn’t until after he knocked that his heart seized at the thought of Fay answering the door.

Because of that panic, he wasn’t properly prepared to see Juniper for the first time in almost thirteen years.

For a moment, they stood staring at each other, neither breathing.

Finally Juniper spoke. “You came.”

“I came,” he said and had to take a shaky breath. “I’m here.”

They stared for a moment longer before Juniper moved so suddenly that Sirius had little time to react. He barely had his arms up in time to catch her. Once she was there, though, he couldn’t let go.

The two of them stood locked in an embrace on her front step for longer than Sirius could care to guess. When they finally moved apart, Juniper let out a nervous giggle. Sirius realized he still had his arms loosely wrapped around her waist. He thought about pulling back, but he was feeling selfish.

His voice was soft as he asked, “Does she know?”

He felt the shiver run through Juniper’s body. “You know about her?” she whispered.

Sirius nodded, not trusting himself to speak but trying anyway. “I-um, I saw her… At Hogwarts.”

Juniper’s eyes widened, and Sirius realized belatedly how threatening that could have sounded, especially when Juniper didn’t know the truth. Her child’s father was an infamous murder… who had found her at Hogwarts.

She nodded toward the open door. “Maybe you’d better come in.”

When Sirius hesitated, Juniper added, “She isn’t home. She’s at a friend’s. She won’t be back for a couple days.”

He followed her into the house, pausing in the doorway to look around. It clearly belonged to a teenager, but Sirius could see signs of Juniper anywhere. He saw a small box up on the fireplace, and Sirius moved toward it without thinking. “You still have it,” he said quietly as he picked up the music box. It had been his present to her on their first anniversary.

“How could I have gotten rid of it?”

“I figured you wouldn’t want to keep any evidence of your relationship with a murderer.”

They both stood still, not looking at each other as they both debated how to continue forward.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Juniper look up, a familiar stubborn set to her jaw. “You’re not a murderer.”

“You’re not even going to ask?” Sirius said and immediately wondered why he seemed determine to pick a fight.

“I don’t have to,” she said. “I’ve always known you aren’t.”

He turned, arms opening as he moved toward her again. They stood in a hug again, and when Juniper let go, she kept one arm around him as she walked them over to the couch, both touching the other as they went.

On the side table was a picture of Juniper and Fay. Sirius picked up the photo, fingers tracing over the frame as he studied in. Next to each other, the resemblance was even more striking than he’d suspected. They even had the same smile. When he looked up at Juniper, he found her watching him with a strained smile, sadness heavy in her eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“I was going to.” Juniper looked down, and Sirius wrapped an arm around her again automatically, unable to stop touching her now that she was in front of him. “I actually knew… that night. I was waiting until your birthday because I’d only known for a couple days.” She swallowed hard. “It was going to be a surprise, part of your present that we were having a baby.”

“We were having a baby.”

Sirius could practically hear how the conversation would have gone, and despite wanting to stay strong, he felt tears coming to his eyes. He’d been fighting them off from the moment he’d laid eyes on Juniper, but knowing her plan was too much.

Juniper held him, letting Sirius bury his head against her neck as he wept, and she continued to speak quietly above him. “I almost told you anyway. I had enough Ministry friends that someone could have pulled some strings and let me see you or at least tell you. Riya talked me out of it, but I can’t blame her for it. You were headed to Azkaban for life. I was never going to see you again. It… I was afraid it would hurt you more.”

“It would have,” he choked out. Sirius stayed there another minute, and despite the silence, Juniper let him.

When he finally sat up, they locked eyes, saying more in that moment than the entire time they’d been talking.

“Tell me about her,” Sirius requested. “Tell me about Fay.”

Juniper smiled, her face lighting up with a kind of love Sirius wasn’t used to seeing. “Her full name is Faydra Siriana Dunbar.”

“Siriana,” he repeated, tears returning to his eyes. He was able to hold it together enough for her to continue, although he continued to cry through her explanation of Fay’d stubborn spirit—“inherited from both of us, I’m sure”—her creativity, the natural ability she had a broom, and her natural ability in charms. Sirius’ smile grew the more she said about their daughter.

“She sounds perfect,” Sirius said, reaching out to brush a strand of hair out of her face. He hesitated, but Juniper never had given him an answer for the question she’d asked outside. “Did you tell her about me?”

Juniper looked down, and that look told him everything he needed to know. Sirius drew back, although he knew he was being unfair. Juniper was completely within her right to have not told Fay, and he should have assumed as much when she hadn’t told him either.

“When you broke out last summer,” Juniper began, speaking slowly and carefully, “I almost told her. I… Part of me hoped you were coming here.”

Sirius ducked his head, flooding with shame all over again. He’d considered it. He’d strongly considered finding her, but he’d needed to deal with Peter and see Harry. As much as he had wanted to, Sirius hadn’t been able to consider the rejection that might come with seeing her.

“She knows now.”

Sirius jerked his head up, staring at her with wide eyes. “When did you tell her?”

Juniper shook her head. “I didn’t. She’s a smart girl. I didn’t have to tell her anything because she figured it out. When she was freaked out before school started and again at Christmas break, I told her she didn’t need to worry about you and that everything would be all right. I… I’ve been crying a lot. No, don’t feel guilty!”

Sirius’ eyes widened as she grabbed the sides of his head. “Don’t you dare hate yourself for that, Sirius Black! With everything you went through, me crying a bit isn’t something to dwell on.” She continued as though the interruption hadn’t happened. “She’s good at arithmancy and math too. Plus, I wasn’t exactly subtle on her name. We were on our way back from the train when the school year ended when she asked me pointblank. I couldn’t lie to her.”

Sirius took a deep breath through his nose, searching her face for any hint of how the conversation had gone. “How did she take it?”

“She surprised me,” Juniper admitted. “She didn’t make any accusations or bring up the rumors about your arrest and escape. She asked how we met, if I loved you.”

He rubbed the back of his fingers against her cheek. “I loved you. I never stopped.”

Her eyes shined, and Juniper tilted her head up to blink back tears. “I know,” she said, voice breaking. “I never stopped loving you either. And—”

She broke off, letting out a few shaky breaths against his shoulder as they embraced again. “I told her everything,” she said. “All the things I’ve kept bottled up for years I told her. I told her about your smile, about the way we were when we were together. I didn’t tell her we started off as…” She laughed, not sure how to put it. “I did explain that I was drawn to you and that we ended up together without meaning to. I explained that I loved you and that you loved me and that you weren’t the person that The Prophet made you out to be. I—”

Juniper stopped, pulling back to look him in the eye. “I told her that if she wanted and if you came to find us… that I wanted you in our lives.”

Sirius didn’t think, he didn’t analyze. He reacted on instinct, pulling her in for a tight hug. “You want me? You still want me?”

“I do,” Juniper said, and Sirius could feel against his shirt that she was crying again. He realized he was too.

Without pulling away, he asked, “What did Fay say?”

“She’s a little apprehensive,” Juniper admitted as she finally pulled back, her hands still firmly on Sirius’ arms. “She wants to know you, though. You’re her father, and if you’ll accept her, she wants to love you.”

“I do,” he said, voice breaking. “I want to. I- I already do. I already love her. I love her as much as I love you.”

“I love you too,” Juniper whispered.

The two looked at each other for a moment before Sirius leaned in, and Juniper met him halfway for their first kiss in twelve years.

As they broke apart, Juniper rested her forehead against his. “I could send an owl,” she said quietly. “I could ask Fay to come home early.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready,” Sirius admitted. “You said she’ll be gone a couple days?”

Juniper nodded without speaking.

“I could… stay?” Sirius suggested. “We could let her stay with her friend, and we get to know each other over again—get on the same page before she gets back.”

He shivered, afraid of what Juniper would say, even after all this, but she smiled and reached up to run a hand through his hair. It wasn’t as bad as it had been. Thanks to people like Remus, he’d been able to clean himself up, but he knew it wasn’t as nice as it had been once upon a time. Juniper didn’t seem to notice.

“I’d like that,” she said. “I want to know you again, Sirius. I love you. I want to be the family we should have been.”

Sirius pressed another kiss against the corner of her mouth. “I love you, Juniper. I want to be a family too.”

[kaitycole]

A Royal Mess (Part 10)

Summary: Once again, a lot happens but it is focused around Liam and Riley. I apologize in advance for this piece. 

**This piece picks up directly after Part 7**

Word Count: 2141

Pairings:  Liam x Riley, Leo x Madeleine 

Rating: Fluff, Angst, and some downright bad news.

Tag List: @chiarace  @grimalkjn  @jyreusser85  @hopefulmoonobject @enmchoices  @indiacater @captain-kingliamsqueen  @katurrade  @darley1101  @zilch3  @sleeplessescapades  @bobasheebaby  @mrsdrakewalkerblog @lynn1214  @umccall71  @drakelover78   @thequeenchoices   @stopforamoment

Riley looks at Liam who looks like he’s about to burst.

           “A girl. A daughter? I’m…” He pauses looking for the right words, “You’re carrying a future queen?”

           Riley smiles at him, “Yeah. Is that…are you okay it’s not a boy?”

           “I am thrilled. It’s a girl. She’s going to be as beautiful as you.” Liam kisses her hand.

           Dr. Gallardo smiles, “I have a feeling some little girl will be very spoiled.”

           “You have no idea.” Riley says as she looks at Liam who can’t take his eyes off the screen or the smile off his face.

           “So, around this time, you should be noticing her kicking more if you haven’t already. Let’s just look around once more and gets some measurements. Around this size, you can think of your baby as the size of a large banana.” Dr. Gallardo notices Riley chuckles.

           Liam squeezes Riley’s hand, “She’s beautiful.”

           “Liam, it’s practically black and white static in a way.” Riley says.

           “But I already know she looks just like you which is beautiful.” He pulls her hand up to his lips and kisses it.

           “Well let’s get you cleaned up and on your way, shall we?” She hands Riley some paper towels. She’s cleaning her stomach, Dr. Gallardo prints and hands Liam ultrasound pictures. They say their good-byes and Bastien walks them back to the SUV with a serious look on his face.

           “Is everything okay, Bastien?” Liam asks.

           “Sir, well, there’s been a disturbance at the palace but it has been handled.”

           “What kind of disturbance?” Riley questions, looking to Liam with confusion of her face.

           “It seems Leo and his friend Damien got into a fist fight.”

           Liam and Riley look at each other, not entirely sure they heard him right. Liam knew Leo had a temper on him, but he’d never know him to hit anyone. At the same time, they turn to Bastien for more answers.

           “It seemed to resolve itself rather quickly however Lady Katie did go into labor and they are currently at the hospital.”

           “Seems the palace gets exciting when the King isn’t present, huh?” Riley says, softly giggling.

           “It would appear so.” Liam finds himself chuckling.

           Back at the palace, Liam and Riley are talking to Hana and Maxwell about the baby.

           “I can’t wait to dress her up!” Hana exclaims as she’s holding Riley’s hands.

           “I know! Little bows galore!” Riley giggles as she looks over to Liam.

           Maxwell looks towards Liam, “I’m not looking forward to her social season. Imagine if it’s anything like yours.”

           Liam stiffens as he absorbs Maxwell’s words and thinks back to his and Riley’s behavior. His stiffened expression makes Maxwell chuckle.

           “We’ll have to go out and get some fabrics and I’ll start sewing some blankets and such for this little princess.” Hana pauses, “Have you talked about names?”

           Riley looks at Liam who is still reeling from Maxwell’s comment before smiling, “We have a few in mind but we haven’t narrowed it down.”

           “Well whatever it is, I know it will be as beautiful as you Little Blossom,” Maxwell smiles.

           The group continues to have a bit of small talk when they are taken out of their bubble when they hear Madeline and Leo arguing unaware of their listening ears.

           “What happened back there? You say one thing and then you left!” Leo exclaims.

           “Everything is just a game to you, isn’t it?” Madeleine shouts.

           The four take turns looking at each other, trying to decide if they should leave, make their presence known or just listen.

           “What are you talking about? We were looking at the nursery and then you just left.”

           Madeleine finally breaks down the wall she has had up for years, “It was supposed to be me! Me, Leo! Not her!”

           Leo’s face twists up in confusion. While in the other room, Riley gives Hana a knowing look. Riley had spent so much time hating Madeleine when it never occurred to her that maybe Madeleine wasn’t okay with how Leo had just left her for Katie. Riley didn’t know much, but she knew enough from members of the court that Madeline had been with Leo since they were teenagers. Riley couldn’t imagine being in love with someone for years just to have then leave like it wasn’t anything.

           “You should have married me. We should have children together. All those years ago, it should have been me.” She feels a tear falling, “So I’m sorry if I can’t just look at everything you have with someone else and not get upset.”

           “Mads, I...I didn’t realize...”

           “That someone could actually mean it when they said they loved you? Or that they actually thought they meant more to you than casual sex?”

           He takes a deep breath, “You know I don’t know how to tell people how I feel.”

           “That excuse that doesn’t work with me and you know it. You have no problem telling me anything else but God forbid you have to step out of your comfort zone to admit that you actually care about someone.”

           Leo goes to speak but is interrupted by the sound of Riley’s cell phone going off.

           “Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse.” Madeleine storms upstairs and Leo follows her after letting out an exhausted sign.

           “Ye—Hello?” Riley answers.

           “Hey Riley, this is Dr. Gallardo.”

           “Oh, Dr. Gallardo,” Liam’s attention shifts to Riley’s call, “is everything okay?”

           “I’m sure it’s nothing, but I was wondering if you could come back in tomorrow. I just want to double check something I’ve noticed after you left. It won’t take long.”

           “Of course. What time?” Riley can feel her heart rate start to quicken.

           “Is 8:30 okay? It’s my first appointment and I’d like to get you in as soon as possible.”

           “Yes ma’am. We will be there.”

           After exchanging a few pleasantries, the pair gets off the phone.

           “Is everything okay? What did Dr. Gallardo want?” Liam questions.

           “She said that she wants to double check something that she saw but she’s sure it’s nothing.”

           “Then let’s not worry. If it was something serious, I’m sure she would’ve told us at the appointment, eh?” He walks over to her and kisses the top of her head.

           Riley gives Liam a soft smile and turns her focus back to Hana, “Think you could make her some dresses?” She rubs her hands on her stomach.

           Hana’s eyes widen, “I would be honored!”

           “Love, everything will be fine. I promise.” Liam kisses her hand as they are being driven to the obstetrician office.

           “I know, I just didn’t sleep well without you there.”

           Liam’s heart breaks a little, “Only a few more months, my dear.”

           The couple shares a soft smile before Bastien stops the SUV and they got into the office.

           “Good Morning, Dr. Gallardo said to go straight back.” The receptionist says and they go back into the examination room.

           “I’m sorry to have called you back in but I just needed to check something.” She says as Riley gets up on the table and Liam takes his place beside her.

           “It’s no trouble at all.” Liam says, still maintaining his composure.

           Riley pulls up her shirt and Dr. Gallardo applies the gel and starts moving it around. Her and Liam can’t help but smile when their little girl comes into view.

           “I just want to recalculate some of the measurements I took yesterday.” She stops talking and starts looking at the monitor with a puzzled face.

           “What…What is it?” Riley can barely get out.            

           The room is silent for a few moments as Dr. Gallardo moves the wand around and looks at their baby girl in several different angles.

           Finally, she stops and faces the two of them. She wipes the gel off Riley’s stomach and Riley covers herself up best she can.

           “I know this is going to be difficult to hear, but it appears that she has Talipes Equinovarus also known as club foot. What this means is that her foot is rotated inwards and downwards.” She pauses and shows them with her hand the normal position and the position her foot is in, “The tissues connecting muscles to the bones are shorter than what we usually would expect. This is seen more commonly in males but there are cases where females have it and it looks like her right foot is the only one affected.”

           Riley can see Dr. Gallardo’s lips moving but she can’t hear anything. All of her attention is on Liam who is listening to the doctor intensely. He’s nodding as she seems to be explaining things to him and while she loves that he’s being strong, her whole world is falling apart.

           “Riley. Are you okay?” Liam tugs gently on her hand.

           She looks at him, almost completely unable to form words. The three of them sit in silence, Dr. Gallardo giving them minutes to digest the news before giving them anymore information.

           “Will she…what…caused it?” Riley finally gets out.

           “The cause is still unknown to us. There are a few risk factors involved such as family history, not enough amniotic fluid during the pregnancy, some doctors even think that is caused just by the baby’s position in the womb. There’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it, in my medical opinion.”

           “Will she need surgery? Is she in pain?” Liam asks and Riley noticeably gasps when he says the word pain.

           “In most cases, those with Talipes Equinovarus do not need surgery. Usually stretching and taping help to correct the position of the foot and a brace will help keep it in place so it doesn’t revert while the bone is still soft. As for pain, it’s painless for her. Most pain comes from leaving this condition untreated.”

           “Are there any comorbid conditions that are accompanied with this one?” Liam asks coolly as Riley rubs her hand over her belly.

           “Hip Dysplasia has been seen but it’s not likely.”

           “What can we do now?”

           “There’s not much to do before she’s born however it is still a good thing to know early on so that we can discuss post-birth treatment plans and get you both in contact with a pediatric orthopedist.” Dr. Gallardo says with a hopeful smile.

           The room remains quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time before Dr. Gallardo speaks again, “Can you both tell me what you remember from what I told you?”

           Riley looks at her dumbfounded, “I’m sorry?”

           “It’s a way for me to know what you’ve understood from this and so I know if I need to explain something better. I just want to make sure you leave here with as many answers as you can now.”

           Riley listens as Liam gives her back the information as she rubs her hand over her bump. After a few more minutes of discussion, they are cleared to leave and Liam takes some paperwork and pamphlets as they exit.

           Liam watches as Riley’s attention is focused out the window as Bastien drives.

           “Riley?”

           She doesn’t answer. He isn’t sure if she’s just too focused to have heard him or if she was ignoring him.

           “Riley?” He reaches for her hand but she jerks it away.

           “How are you so okay?”

           “Pardon?” He looks at her in disbelief.

           “She just told us something’s wrong with our baby and you just sat there! Do you ever just cut the ‘stoic king act’? I sat there looking like a moron who couldn’t talk while you just chatted away!” She lashes out at him.

           “I am aware what she told us and believe me I am just as upset as you. But in order for me to help her, I need to know everything about it that I can even if that means putting on my ‘stoic king’ act and just listen.” He reaches for her hand and she allows him to take it, “I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, it was never my intention. I can’t be much help to her in the future if I don’t know everything about the issue.”

           “What if we can’t help her? I couldn’t even protect her and that’s my one job as her mom!” Riley starts to cry and Liam pulls her into his side.

           “It’s not your fault. You did everything right. This is something we have to work through and we will be stronger for it and she’ll be fine.”

           They arrive at the Beaumont Estate about half an hour later and Liam helps Riley out of the car and to the door, “Will you stay tonight?” She looks at him with heartbreak in her eyes, “Please.”

           He looks at her, knowing that he can’t say no but knowing that it doesn’t look good for his current situation.

           “Of course, my love.”

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Forty-Six

Sorry for the late update! I'm the worst but here you go. Happy Holidays everybody! 

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW **dirty dirty**

Find Too Hot To Handle Master Chapter List Here

"Holy fuck."

"I know."

"I mean, Ho-lee fuck."

"I know, man."

"Holy fuh-ck." "Jesus Fucking Christ, Reedus. If you say those two words again, I will throttle you stupid through this phone." Jeffrey growled into the screen while facetiming his best friend. Scoffing loudly, Norman lit a cigarette and took a long drag before point the stick at him. "Are you fuckin’ with me?" "No man. Why would I be fucking with you about Aria having my kid?" "You're a weird fucker, who knows why you do half the fucking shit you do?" "Fuck off." Huffing out a amused laugh, Jeffrey countered, "You're the one who owns a closet full of mascot costumes." "Those are for scientific research." Norman drawled lazily, his smile crooked. "Yeah into how beast meets man." Jeffrey joked, his gruff words making the other man barking out a laugh. Chuckling for awhile, Norman finally drawled, "So, I'm gonna be an uncle huh?" "Fuck yeah, you are. Excited?" "Hell yeah." Norman’s grin was genuine, his eyes bright as he added, "Fucking crazy, brother. It's awesome." "Goddamn right it's awesome." Jeffrey exclaimed, his eyebrows raised animatedly, "l’m old as fuck and my big dick still works."

Without missing a beat, Norman offered, "Could be the milkman’s kid." "Shut your mouth." Jeffrey growled, his territorial side flaring. “You’re just a jealous fuck. I doubt your beaver basher gets hard enough to knock someone up.” “Fuck you, man. Only reason my loins aren’t pumping out spawn all over Georgia is the titanium rubbers I buy from Japan.” “Sure it ain’t the fact your pea shooter is out of ammo?” “Hell no, the tanks are full in my mayo shooting hotdog gun, brother.” Snorting, Jeffrey drawled, “fuckin’ idiot.” "Yeah, yeah. Hey, we should do a party. Like one of those baby showers but for everybody. The cast and shit." "Alright, yeah. Let me talk to Aria, she might wanna wait on telling everybody just yet." "No worries, we got time." "Fuck no man, this time next year and I'll have a kid in my lap." "That's so fucking insane, dude. Like... holy fuck!" "That's it asshole!" "Okay, okay, okay." Norman laughed as Jeffrey scowled into the camera. "How's she doin'?" "Good... well puking all the time and exhausted but that's pretty average with our schedules. Now that she can't have coffee, she's losing her shit." Jeffrey grinned, thinking of that morning as Aria cursed herself blue in the face, while he sipped his morning cup of joe. "We have a few doctor appointments to go to soon, we're tryin' to get them in before filming on the show starts again." Norman smirked, "well fuck, man. Seriously, I'm happy for you. You'll be an awesome fucking dad." "Hell, I'm just hoping to survive the pregnancy. I can't even begin to think about when the sucker comes out." "You should probably start. It'll be here before you know it." "Gee, thanks for freaking me the fuck out, asshole." "You're welcome." Norman retorted with a sly grin. "So, what do you want, a boy or girl?" Jeffrey swallowed thickly at the question, the idea still so fresh that the prospect of either seemed overwhelming. If he had a son, he'd be responsible for what kind of man he'd become. Aria would of course play role in that but he would be the male role model. The idea was daunting. However, having a daughter didn't seem any less stressful when thinking about protecting a little girl. Jeffrey couldn't imagine what it would be like to keep a daughter safe in a world full of men. "Both sound stressful as fuck." Jeffrey replied after contemplating it. "Either way I'm responsible for how another person turns out in the world." "Son would be pretty cool though. Can you imagine the shit he would get into havin' you as a dad? Shit, he'll be a little hellion." Norman chuckled as Jeffrey cringed. "Shut up, dude." "Then if you got a girl, Jesus can you imagine having to keep the boys away? Fuck, think about how it was as teenagers, fucking little pricks looking for any girl to say yes." "You're not fucking helping me, Reedus." Seeing Jeffrey begin to lose it, Norman couldn't seem to help himself. "Then, what if she looks like Aria. Holy fuck, you'll actually need to keep Lucille on hand, brother." "Stop speaking." "I mean, if your daughter looks like Aria, you'll be beating the fuck out of guys constantly." "I swear to fuck, I called you to give you the good news and get some kind of fucking support and all you're doing is freaking me the fuck out and pissing me the fuck off." Jeffrey growled, while pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "Alright, alright. Look, whatever it is, you'll love it and they'll love you. Besides, you'll have Aria helping you. That woman can do anything, you've said so yourself." "Yeah." "She'll figure this shit out and be bossing you around in no time." Norman joked. Chuckling at the statement he replied, "probably right." "Fuck yeah, I'm right. I'm always right." "Don't press your fucking luck, dumbass."

Aria tapped her fingernails along the tabletop, waiting for Megan to sit down after grabbing their drinks. "Since when do you drink tea?" Megan huffed, setting down the paper to go cup in front of her containing chamomile with honey. "I like tea." "You love coffee." "Yeah well..." Aria shrugged before a smirk curled her lips. "I can't drink coffee right now." "What? Why-" Megan started before her eyes became huge. "Holy shit!" "Don't scream it." Aria muttered, leaning forward to speak quieter. "Holy shit." Megan mocked whispered. "Stop freaking out. This is why I didn't want to tell you in a public place, we can't let it get out just yet." "Why?" "Well, for one. It's private. I like my privacy. Second, what if something happens?" Aria confessed, her eyes dropping away. "Nothing's gonna happen." "You don't know that and stuff happens all the time, I'm not immune to it." "Okay, okay." Megan huffed before smiling so widely. "I can't fucking believe it. You're gonna be a mom." Aria smiled as Megan whispered the last word but bounced in her seat excitedly. "Yeah." "This is so awesome. Oh my god, what if it's a little girl? That will be so cute, she'll be a daddy's girl for sure. If it's a boy, he'll be so damn handsome, just like his father." "You're obsession with my husband's good looks in disconcerting." "Honey, you're just going to have to get used to it." "Um yeah, I'm noticing." Aria muttered but smiled as her friend laughed. "This is amazing. I can't wait to help you shop for maternity clothes and then baby stuff. Holy shit, I need to start planning a shower. Oh my god, I can get those cupcakes you love and have them do a sex announcement. You know, like pink or blue centers. That'll be so cute." "Megan." "And then we can figure out nursery themes, like what animal you wanna use. You could always go the yellow and green route if you want it to be a surprise." "Megan." "I think that's weird though, I'd like to know what to plan for you know. A niece or a nephew, it's important information so I can plan ahead." "Megan!" "What?" "Calm down. You're stressing me out. I'm trying to reconcile the fact that there's a person growing inside me. I can't focus on paint color's and cupcakes." "Okay, okay." Her friend sighed with a dreamy look. "I'm just so excited." "Yeah, I can tell." Aria replied dryly, her eyes rolling at her friend’s wide smile. "Are you happy?" "Very." Aria answered immediately, her lip bitten and eyes prickling slightly. "I'm terrified but... so damn happy." Megan reached over the table to pull her into a hug and murmured, "I'm so happy for you. You're going to be an amazing mom." "I don't know, I didn't really have the best role model." "Just do the opposite of what they did. You'll be fine, you have an amazing husband who will take care of you and actually help with the kid. Is he excited?" "He's so damn happy and excited he can barely stand to keep from screaming it from the rooftops." "I bet, the big dumb lug." Megan laughed, her eyes playful as she whispered, "I can't believe you're having Jeffrey Dean Motherfucking Morgan's kid." "Me neither." Aria murmured, her eyes brightening as she pondered the strange turns her life had taken in the last year. She married a man who had become the center of her world and now she carried his child, soon to be the center of both their worlds. Never in a million years would she have seen herself where she was right then, nor would she trade it for anything in the world. "It's just... surreal."

Find Chapter Forty-Seven Here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/168360013281/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-forty-seven

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

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[artificialqueens]

Like the Forest (Sashea) - Scarlet

Just a pointless little third part to Like the Stars and Like the River (which can be found here and here. Honestly this is just a silly fluffy drabble but I needed a third part just to complete their little saying, so I hope you like it!

Like the Forest

The sun was shining brightly, birds were singing in the trees and there was the smell of spring in the air. Flowers had just started to come into bloom and the bursts of colour made the scene that little bit more picturesque. The wicker awning at the front was simple and white to offset the green of the countryside. Three men stood at the front, one looking significantly more nervous than the others. People were taking their seats lined up on the grass facing the men. The sun beamed down on them, they really couldn’t have chosen a more perfect day for the event. 

In the front row a loud sneeze rang out followed by the call of, ’sweet Jesus!‘ And then the even louder blowing of a nose. Shea rolled her eyes at her wife.

‘You are so loud.’ Shea hissed at her.

‘I can’t help it if I have allergies!’ Sasha blew her nose. 

'You can help how loud you sneeze though.' 

'Can not.’ Sasha grumbled, putting the snotty tissue in her handbag.

'You never sneeze that loudly.’ Shea raised her eyebrow at her.

'I have allergies!’ Sasha spoke much louder than she needed to. Shea rolled her eyes again.

'This is not your day.’ Shea took hold of her hand and squeezed it. 

'Spoil sport.’ Sasha giggled, using her free hand to smooth down the front of her floral dress. It was much more demure than she would have liked, pale blues and yellows rather than the neon colours she preferred but Darcy had insisted. She’d told Sasha, and Sasha only, ’please don’t show me up today mom.' When Sasha had asked why she hadn’t said the same to Shea the two had exchanged a guilty look before Shea had spoken for their daughter, ’because I’m not the embarrassing one.' 

Sasha resented being the embarrassing one but she knew her daughter had a point. So she’d not argued with the dress Darcy had asked her to wear even if she hated it. She’d balanced it out with a large pink head dress on her bald head which Darcy was going to freak about when she saw it. Shea begged her not to but Sasha liked to rebel every once in a while. She liked to think it kept her young. Shea wore a dark red summer dress which looked beautiful against her dark skin and her dark hair was poker straight and down to her shoulders. 

'She’s going to hate the head dress.’ Shea whispered. 

'She’ll get over it.’ Sasha’s smirked, her pink glittery lipstick shimmering in the sun. Shea gave her a glance.

'How do you feel?’ She raised an eyebrow at her wife.

'I’m fine! I keep telling you that. Apart from these damn allergies anyway.' 

'You swear Sasha?’ Shea looked at her seriously. Sasha sighed. Cancer was always going to be a part of her family’s life, they’d resided themselves to that now. The cancer came back three years after Sasha got the all clear and she had to go back through chemo and thinking she was going to die all over again. She beat it once again but since then she’d had almost a dozen scares. She was in and out of hospital all the time having constant checks but thankfully it hadn’t come back. When she got so much as a cold Shea panicked thinking it was the C word. Cancer would always loom over them like a dark cloud but you got used to living with it. As long she was cancer free Sasha was happy. If she had to spend the rest of her life in and out of hospital check-ups then so be it, just as long as the cancer didn’t ever come back again. 

'I swear baby. I’m absolutely fine.’ Sasha smiled softly at her and leant forward and kissed Shea gently. 

'Is the PDA really appropriate?’ A voice came from behind them. Sasha turned in her chair and frowned at him.

'Oh shut it.’ Sasha scoffed. 'If I had a dime for every time you and Jason made out or touched each other inappropriately in public I’d had enough money to find a cure for cancer.’ She told Matt off.

'Yeah this is slightly different circumstances.’ Jason smirked at her. Little Freddie clapped his hands together and giggled as Matt bounced him up and down on his knee. 

'Freddie likes the PDA.’ Shea laughed. Matt covered his son’s eyes.

'Take that back! I don’t want his first memory being you two locking lips.’ Matt pulled a face.

'Don’t raise the boy to hate lesbians Matt.’ Sasha teased poking her tongue out at him. Matt rolled his eyes with a small smile. Sasha reached behind her and tickled Freddie under his chin. After everything they went through, in a weird way cancer had bonded Sasha and Shea and Jason and Matt. They had become fantastic friends over the years, Sasha and Shea were even god mothers to Freddie. Sometimes it just helped to have people around you that knew exactly what you’d been through. Matt had never had another cancer scare thank god, but the two of them had been by Sasha’s side every step of her remission. When they’d married four years ago Sasha was Jason’s maid of honour, apparently he didn’t have any male friends he liked enough for the role of best man. Jason had given Darcy a taste for over the top make-up when she’d gotten older and started going to his drag shows, in fact he’d every helped do her make-up today. Shea tried to insist that even if it wasn’t for Jason she would have learnt the art of crazy make-up from Sasha. Shea probably had a good point.

'This will be you someday precious. You see that scared man up there?’ She pointed to the front. 'That will be you. And your daddies will feel just as sick and as full of butterflies as Auntie Shea and I do today.’ Sasha had tears in her large eyes. Jason saw them and gave her a soft smile.

'He’s a good guy Sasha. A great guy.’ He whispered nodding to the nervous guy again.

'Yeah I know.’ Sasha nodded. 'I didn’t think I’d be this nervous for her.' 

Shea squeezed her hand again. 

'It’s a big day for us too. Our little girl is all grown up.’ Shea sniffed back her own tears and Sasha squeezed her hand now. 

'Saps.’ Jason teased.

'You just wait until its Freddie.’ Sasha bit back. 'I can’t wait to see you cry like a baby on his wedding day.’ Before Jason could respond the soft music started to play and Sasha’s breath caught in her throat. They all stood up and Shea gripped Sasha’s hand tightly. Their daughter appeared at the end of the aisle and Sasha actually gasped at how beautiful she looked. She had a floor length white dress that went straight down with a small train. The top part was lacy and had small delicate handmade white flowers dotted across it. Her dark hair was tied back in a bun with two small curled tendrils that fell around her face. Her veil was long and lacy and framed her face perfectly and she had a bouquet of roses in her hands. Sasha still thought she looked so much like Shea, even more so as she got older even though it wasn’t possible. Darcy started her solo descent down the aisle. Being that Darcy didn’t have a dad she didn’t want either of her mom’s feeling left out if she asked one of them to walk her and not the other. She’d decided to do it solo as an act of empowerment she’d told Sasha and Shea. She walked so gracefully up the aisle, almost as though she was floating. Sasha felt her eyes flooding with a stupid amount of tears, to the point her eyes blurred. Shea must have noticed because she started stroking Sasha’s hand with her thumb. Darcy gave her mom’s a glance and rolled her eyes a little as she clocked Sasha’s head dress. A small tear fell from Sasha’s eye. Seeing Darcy happy was all she’d ever wanted. After being dragged through her mom’s cancer as a teenager, not only once but twice, she so deserved it. Jason was right, the man she was marrying, Rick, was just about perfect for her in every way. If Sasha could have chosen a man for Darcy herself it would have been Rick. Darcy stepped up to the altar and everyone took their seats. Shea wrapped her arm around Sasha’s shoulder and held her tight as Rick kissed Darcy’s cheek. Shea glanced at Sasha, a few more small tears rolling down her cheeks. Sasha had always been the strong one, ever since they were teenagers. Sasha had remained strong through her mother’s cancer and her death and stayed strong through her own battles with the disease. Sasha was without a doubt the strongest woman Shea had ever met in her life. But Shea loved that right now was Sasha’s breaking point. She loved how emotional her daughter’s wedding was making her. She loved that no matter how much of a strong facade Sasha tried to put on, her daughter would always be her soft spot. Shea kissed the side of Sasha’s shaved head as the ceremony began.

Rick had read the vows he’d written and it only made more tears fall from Sasha’s eyes. Shea had managed to keep it together so far, trying to stay strong for her wife. Now it was time for Darcy’s vows and Shea had a feeling this was what was going to set her off. 

'You’ve heard me say this a lot over the years we’ve been together but I couldn’t think of anything more fitting for my vows. My whole life my moms have always said this to me, it was something my late grandmother used to say, who I sadly never got the chance to meet.’ She smiled a little and took a deep breath.

'Oh god.’ Sasha muttered under her breath knowing exactly what was coming and knowing it was going to make her sob.

'My love for you is like a river, it flows and flows. My love for you is like the stars in the sky, it glows and glows. My love for you is like the trees in a forest, it grows and grows. And whatever happens in life, I need you to know, I’ll carry a piece of you with me wherever I go.’ Darcy choked a little over the last few words. Tears silently rolled down Sasha’s cheeks as she listened to her only child recite those words. Your grandmother would be so proud, Sasha thought. God she wished her mother was here to see this, the same way she’d wished her mother had been there on her own wedding day. Are you looking down on us mom? Are we doing you proud? Sasha turned to look at the empty chair on her left where her mother should be sat. If she squinted she could almost picture her mother sat there beaming with pride as a few tears rolled down her face. She could picture the younger Darcy Snr, the woman she had been before the cancer ravaged her. If she was here now she’d hold Sasha’s hand and smile softly at her. 

’You’ve made a beautiful life for yourself darling. I’m so happy for you. For all of you.' 

She was sure she could hear her mother’s voice in her head. If her mother was here Sasha would say to her, ’mom, my love for you is like a river, it flows and flows. My love for you is like the stars in the sky, it glows and glows. My love for you is like the trees in a forest, it grows and grows. And whatever happens in life, I need you to know, I’ll carry a piece of you with me wherever I go.' And Darcy Velour would squeeze her hand tightly and whisper, ’I love you like the river. I love you like all the stars in the sky. And I love you like all the trees in the all the forests.' 

Sasha blinked back her tears and looked back up at the altar.

'I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss.' 

Shea looked at Sasha and smiled at her. Tears were still rolling down Sasha’s cheeks and Shea knew exactly what she was thinking.

'I can feel it too.’ Shea whispered.

'What’s that?’ Sasha sniffed.

'Your mom’s presence. She’s here, and she’s so proud of you both.’

Sasha smiled through her tears, it was just what she needed to hear. As Darcy and Rick descended the altar they stood and covered them with confetti. 

'God I can’t believe she’s married.’ Sasha gushed. 'How did this happen?’

'Because we raised her to be a strong, smart, capable woman. Just like you Sasha.’ Shea kissed her softly.

'Thank god she doesn’t have to have that nightmare surname anymore.’ Jason chucked behind them. 

'Bitch do not try and come for me on my daughter’s wedding day.’ Shea shot him a look making both Jason and Sasha laugh. Shea smirked at him and came behind Sasha and wrapped her arms around her, resting her chin on her wife’s shoulder. As Darcy and Rick reached the end of the aisle they turned around and Darcy’s eyes caught both of her mothers. She smiled at them both and ignoring all the other guests staring at her mouthed for her mom’s only, 'I love you both like the river.’

Shea smiled at her daughter as did Sasha as more tears fell from Sasha’s eyes.

'We love you like all the stars in the sky.’ Shea mouthed back at her daughter. Sasha threaded her fingers in Shea’s and gave her hand a squeeze. She would have given anything to have her mother here. She would have given anything for cancer not to have almost ruined their lives. But despite everything that had happened, this was the happiest moment of Sasha’s life. If all the bad stuff that had happened had led them here then she wouldn’t change a second of it for the world. She had the most perfect daughter anyone could ever ask for and she had Shea. Shea, who had been by her side through everything, who had kept Sasha strong when she didn’t think she could go on anymore. The only woman Sasha had ever loved or ever would love. How could she not be grateful for that? She could feel her mother’s presence next to her as she looked at her beautiful daughter on the most magical day of her life and mouthed at her, 'we love you like all the trees in all the forests. For now and ever.' 

[arkhamarchitecture]

bc @tanoraqui asked me for my de Rolo family headcanons. Fair warning that the version of Frederick that primarily exists in my head was formulated based on random joking comments Taliesin has made, Grifting’s version of him from Stuck On You, and a fic or two from @infanttreenotebook. Though not an outright bad parent, he probably wouldn’t have deserved any #1 dad mugs.

Also this is stupid long. I blame Frederick and Johanna for having seven goddamn kids.

Frederick and Johanna:

Frederick was an only child, which is incredibly rare among nobility and risky as hell (attempts were made at other kids but they fell through and Frederick’s parents weren’t in love at all so they didn’t spend a ton of time uhhh, trying). His parents strongly impressed upon him that his duty to his city was the most important thing in his life. 

Frederick met Johanna when she saved his life while he was traveling for an important business meeting in Westruun. Johanna was not a noble in any way but she was singlehandedly responsible for saving him and returning him to Whitestone. They fell in love in the two-three weeks it took to get him back home and Frederick’s parents were so grateful for her saving him that they didn’t kick up too much fuss about him marrying a “peasant.”

Frederick and Johanna were much more enthusiastically in love than Frederick’s parents were - hence having seven children. That said, Frederick was not accustomed to having a large family and struggled to evenly divide his attention between his rulership of the city, his wife, and his children.

Due to Frederick’s own childhood, he strongly believed in usefulness being more important than interest. Which is to say, if something wasn’t apparently useful to him or Whitestone at large, he discarded it as unimportant. Unfortunately, many of his children held interests that were not “useful.”

Johanna was much better than her husband about being equally attentive of all of her children but she also didn’t participate a whole lot in terms of leadership. Johanna ran the treasury and also organized the guards (in terms of hiring and rotations).

Unbeknownst to Johanna, Captain of the Guard Kerrion Stonefell did not appreciate what he saw as her interfering with his job.

Julius:

Oldest son Julius de Rolo received the bulk of his father’s attention. If Julius had been an only child, he probably would have developed serious anxiety from the weight of Frederick’s expectations. Fortunately, Julius had so many younger siblings (all of whom were deeply frustrated at the lack of attention they received from Frederick) that instead Julius became the Dad Friend for all of his siblings.

In the last few years before the Briarwoods, Frederick and Julius had started to butt heads more often than not as Julius became increasingly frustrated with Frederick trying to control his children’s lives without consulting them on what they actually wanted.

Julius wanted to be a paladin of the Temple of Pelor but swearing himself to a temple or church as either a paladin or a cleric would mean placing his loyalties to them ahead of his family. It would mean abdicating his position as heir and as such, he was never formally inducted as a paladin, though he did receive training as such.

Frederick probably would have allowed Julius to abdicate if Julius had fought about it (it wasn’t like he didn’t have plenty of options for heirs), but Julius conceded without much argument when he realized he’d be passing the burden of responsibility onto his unprepared siblings.

Vesper:

Vesper was very much her mother’s daughter and once got in trouble for headbutting a boy twice her size because he said something mean about Ludwig. She broke her own nose doing it, so Johanna set about teaching her better methods of fighting back. 

Vesper was whip smart and extremely talented in the art of insulting someone in such a way that they didn’t realize they’d been insulted until 5 minutes later. She could run rings around any diplomat sent to Whitestone by the time she was 12.

Vesper was bisexual but with a strong preference for women. The first time Vesper ever truly fought with her father was when she found out he had organized a betrothal for her to a nobleman in Emon. Frederick, to his credit, had not been aware that Vesper preferred women and rescinded the betrothal when he found out, but Vesper pointed out that she had never hid that from him, he just hadn’t been paying attention.

Percy:

I strongly subscribe to @infanttreenotebook‘s idea that Percy’s manic-depressive mood swings first began manifesting as a teenager and his father did not cope well with them. When Percy was on and in full manic swing, Percy got along wonderfully with his father, happy to show him ideas and projects and things he had taught himself - but also perfectly happy to be left alone to work on those things when his father’s attention was elsewhere.

But every time Percy crashed, Frederick became concerned, not understanding why Percy’s work would abruptly grind to a halt. Unfortunately Frederick’s concern mostly manifested as him wanting Percy to go into a more stable (useful) field of work than tinkering. Shockingly, being told that his pursuits and interests were pointless and he should give them up did not improve Percy’s depressive moods.

Percy, at the time, had seen Anders as more of a father figure than his actual father. I don’t think I have to say much more about that.

Ludwig:

Ludwig, compared to his older siblings, was a bit on the dim side. He was far from stupid, but he lacked the brilliance that all three of his older siblings possessed.

Nicknamed “Lutz” when he was young, Percy gave him a lute one year for his birthday as a joke, but Ludwig was immediately fascinated with it. Ludwig couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket but with Anders’ direction, he became an accomplished musician.

To several other siblings frustration, Frederick was actually quite impressed with Ludwig’s musical talents despite all expectations that he would consider it a useless pursuit. He and Johanna acquired a piano for Ludwig on his birthday the next year. His siblings quickly got over their frustration when they realized that Ludwig was only too happy to play whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, or provide accompaniment as they sang.

Ludwig lacked much in the way of ambition and would have been perfectly happy to marry whoever his father wanted him to marry, have a handful of kids, and spend the rest of his life idly composing music.

Oliver and Whitney:

If you had asked anyone outside the family, Oliver and Whitney got along like cats in a bag. They were a pair of rough and tumble boys (Whitney had not been assumed to be male at birth, but he made himself very clear as he grew up) who fought constantly, whether that was with snide commentary or actual fist fights in the garden. Any suggestions that they not hang out with one another if they disliked their twin so much were met with blank looks.

Gods forbid if you insulted one of them or one of their siblings because Oliver and Whitney would both ruin your entire life at the drop of a hat if they thought you deserved it. Both of them held grudges like no ones business and took offense at the smallest of slights. The two of them were the initiators of the great de Rolo prank war that lasted years and only ended when Johanna put her foot down after a prank pulled on Percy in his workshop ended with him being inadvertently set on fire.

The burns weren’t too bad and Julius healed him up, it was fine.

Both twins were ladies men and competed for the attention of any and every girl they met, though they had a habit of getting so competitive about it that they forgot the girl entirely to focus on besting the other.

To the chagrin of the rest of the family, Oliver and Whitney were the only two de Rolos with any serious magical talent. Julius could heal a bit and Ludwig’s music was enchanting, but the twins were almost aggressively magical and they rebuffed any and all attempts by their father to learn to control it.

If they had survived, they might have grown up to be intensely powerful wild magic sorcerers but Anders made sure the pair of them were killed quickly to prevent surprises. Despite being a mere 15 during the coup and high priority targets, the twins were responsible the deaths of quite a few attacking guards before they went down, spitting and hissing curses to the end.

Cassandra:

Cassandra, oh Cassandra. Johanna’s favorite child (no matter what Percy said), Cassandra had her mother’s wild heart and the desperate urge to explore everything. Cassandra knew every secret passageway in the entire castle, including a few that weren’t marked on any map or blueprint to ever exist.

Cassandra was a sneak from a very young age and would often appear abruptly in someone’s field of vision from seemingly out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly. Her parents and oldest siblings at first suspected that she was using magic like the twins, but Cassandra eventually confessed to Julius that she was simply very good at not drawing attention to herself.

Cassandra was an easily excited child who wanted to travel around the world one day and it seemed likely that she’d get the chance. She was, after all, the youngest of seven and was unlikely to ever have any serious responsibilities to her family or her city.

I should emphasize that Cassandra wanted to travel and see the world but had no plans to be an adventurer. She had no desire to get into fights and only took up swordplay at her mother’s insistence that she be capable of defending herself. Cassandra took little interest in it Sylas decided it would be amusing to train her.

holy shit ya’ll this post about a bunch of dead motherfuckers that we will literally never meet in canon broke 1500 words, what the heckles

[ahkmenrahdaley]

Now you gotta do BenPoe and 27

27. “I’m Pregnant.”

They’d been married for less than a year whenPoe decided that he wanted to start trying for a family. Ben had been quite enthusiasticabout it from the start but Poe insisted that he didn’t want their child to bea ‘honeymoon baby’ like himself andBen were. It never bothered Ben that he was born barely nine months after hisparent’s wedding but to Poe it was an insult, he treated like he would ifsomeone insulted his looks or worse, his flying skills.

But they did try. As often as they could, whichwas every time Ben wasn’t working with the General and Poe wasn’t out doing missions.They even made excuses for five minutes alone with each other and it wasn’tlong before everyone on the base starting coping on to their intentions. Hanpulled Ben aside one day and told him to be careful. “Pregnancies for male omegascan be risky,” he said and Ben cringed, not needing to hear that from his alphafather.

while Kes and Leia were more excited about the possibilityof a grandchild, that didn’t stop them from voicing their concerns. Ben feltlike he was twelve years old again and sitting in his bedroom getting that awkwardtalk about sex from C-3PO.  Poe just feltlike he was too old for this. He was twenty-four years old, for maker’s sake, notsome horny teenage alpha overdosed on rut hormones.

There was one particular time that Poe wascalled away on a long mission. Ben had started his heat just before he left sothey managed to copulate once or twice (or three times) before he left for Shili.Ben was in agony waiting for him to come back, the first few days were fine butthen as the weeks went by and there was no sign of the fleet’s return hestarted to get anxious.

He sat between his mother and uncle as theychatted nonchalantly to Jessika Pava. She was there in place of Poe who apparentlywas called off Shili in an emergency and placed elsewhere in the Galaxy. Jesscouldn’t even tell them where Poe was and that only made Ben’s anxiety worsen.There was a slight shift in the force, he knew Poe was alive, but that didn’tstop him from suddenly feeling violently sick.

Luke ran after him, reaching the bathroom justin time to hold Ben’s hair out of his face as he retched into the toilet. Itwasn’t a pretty scene by any means, but Luke still remained quite comfortablyby Ben’s side until he felt alright to stand.

“How long?” Luke asked and Ben looked at him, knowingthat he already knew.

“Too early for anyone else to suspect,” Benreplied weakly.

Luke handed him a glass of water and he tookit, drinking it back in grateful amounts until there was nothing left.  “It’s a force sensitive thing. Your mother wasable to bond with you even when Han wasn’t aware of her pregnancy … it wasthe same with me and Rey - and now you. You’re able to feel your child’spresence before anyone else. That’s quite a special relationship to have.”

Ben looked uncertain because even though hebelieved what Luke said he couldn’t feel his child as strongly as he would’veliked. It was only a faint blur, an annoying one too, and he could feel all ofhis energy and force ability being put toward the neutering and caring of this thing in his womb. OK, maybe referringto his child as a thing wasn’t really a great start but he’d get there.

“I don’t think she’s force sensitive,” Bensaid, putting a hand against his flat stomach.

“She?” Luke asked, “You’re so sure?”

Ben paused and took a moment to truly focus. Itwas hard when he still felt like throwing up most of his insides but he foundsome shared peace in the presence of family. “Yes, a daughter, I’ll have adaughter,” he said, envisioning a little girl with tanned skin, short brownhair and a pilot’s helmet propped against her side. Her father’s daughter, definitely.Ben saw nothing of himself in her. “She’ll be … a pilot, but she can wielda lightsaber without needing the force to guide her.”

Luke looked impressed but there was never apraise without warning. “Be careful when looking into the future, Ben,” hesaid. “Don’t let what’s uncertain guide you, instead let it play out as itwill. Some surprises can be good, others can be - “

“Dad!”

Luke and Ben turned around and there was Reywith a datapad in her hand and a worrying frown on her face.

“Rey,” Luke said softly. Ben simply gave her anod in greeting and she returned the same. “What’s wrong?”

“Leia told me to find you. She said something’safter happening in the Anoat system and thought that Ben should know.”

“Is it bad?” Luke asked. Rey couldn’t answer him.

They ran back to the briefing room where Leiastood in front of the holo projector. In front of them was the Anoat system,but more specifically Anantapar, where they could see the remains of a shipthat had been shot right out of flight.

“No,” Ben muttered, feeling a sudden tightness pressuringdown on his chest. “Tell me that’s not …”

“Poe? No, Black Leader is okay but his ship wasbadly damaged. They’re taking him back to D’Quar, this is just the aftermath ofthe explosion,” Leia told her son as Luke urged him to sit down.

“And the droid?”

“BB-8 survived, too,” Rey said.

Leia looked at the datapad Rey handed her andstudied it for a minute before she looked around the room. “He should be backsoon. There shouldn’t be any major injuries but he did obtain some broken bonesand a few bad burns to the skin. Still, he’s quite lucky to be alive.”

“That must’ve been the pain I felt earlier,”Ben said, nervously biting at the tips of his fingers. “The reason I felt ashift in the force.”

Leia hummed gently. “The Force works in weird ways.You probably felt his pain.”

Or maybe mychild did, Ben thought butkept to himself.

Poe arrived back at the base on a stretcher. Hewas awake but in a lot of pain and Ben followed the healers until they came tothe medcentre and asked him to wait a few moments until they had evaluatedtheir patient. It turned out to be nothing serious but Ben was still crying ashe sat down beside his husband.

“Hey, I’m okay,” Poe smiled as tried his bestto hug into Ben despite the restrictions of his bandages. “I’m still alive,see? I’m right here to stay, baby.”

Ben cried into his chest, holding onto whateverhe could just to feel him, to know he was real.

“I thought the worst,” he babbled, “I - … Ithought I’d never see you again. T-that I’d never get to say goodbye.”

“No, no,” Poe said and kissed the top of hishead, “Do you really think I’d do that to you? I’ll never leave you, Ben, Ipromise. Hey, look at me, baby,” he tapped Ben’s head and he looked up at himthrough glassy eyes. “I love you.”

Ben’s face went bright red and he couldn’t stophimself for reaching in and kissing the other man’s lips. Poe hummed into thekiss, using the only hand he was able to use to gently touch Ben’s face.

“I love you too,” Ben said softly then lookedaway, a slight discomfort in his eyes.

Poe noticed it almost immediately. “Hey, what’swrong?” he asked.

Ben’s hand touched his stomach and he asked hischild to give him strength, though he knew it should’ve been the other wayaround.

“Poe,” he started, “Its finally happened. I-  … I’m pregnant.”

Poe’s chest dropped with a breath of relief andhis face lit up with the most beautiful smile Ben had ever seen. “What? What? You’re not kidding me, right? You’reactually - I can’t believe this! H-How long have you known?”

“About two weeks. And I know it’s not long andit’s still very early but this is happening.”

“It is,” Poe nodded. “It really is … I justcan’t believe it. Have you told anyone else?”

Ben bit his lip. “Luke found out … and Isuppose my mother knows, just a Jedi thing, but no one else, no. We still getto tell my dad and Kes and our friends.”

“And the whole base!” Poe grabbed his hand. “Thankyou, Ben, thank you so much.”

Ben leaned into kiss him again only this timeit lasted for so much longer. Poe kept smiling into the touch, genuinelyinfatuated by his husband. Ben just could be happier, maybe it was the firsttime in a long time he smiled until it hurt, until he could hold it for muchlonger. He put a hand on his stomach again and thanked the maker for her, forShaeha.

| Send me a pairing and a number and I’ll write you a drabble |

(Send me an ask if you’d like me to write about Ben finding out he’s pregnant with Corran)

[newshorerpg-blog]

JASLENE ISABEL VALENTINE

Age & Birthdate: April 15th, 1988 (28)

Birthplace: San Francisco, California

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Location: Rockdale

Occupation: Owner of (You)Phoria Dance Studio

Length of Time in Newshore: One year

↪ BIOGRAPHY

This story begins with Michael Valentine and Nadine Santos, two college students who met through an accidental encounter involving spilled coffee and ruined sketches. Nadine, then an aspiring interior designer, had been on her way out of a cafe and was inadvertently knocked into a table, which in turn caused the contents in the cup of the occupant at said table to tumble down onto drawings he’d been working on for his architectural class. The woman was mortified and apologized profusely, and though unhappy with what happened to his work, Michael was understanding. It was this encounter that led to the promise of repayment for coffee, and eventually a friendship to form over various ‘dates’, and bonding over the shared interest in design they held. From there it was inevitable a relationship blossomed with marriage following suite. Upon reaching the end of their college careers, the couple had already tied the knot, more like eloped, but that was more than enough for them. Though what they hadn’t expected was welcoming a beautiful baby girl into their lives. Both had talked about the future of a family, but wanted to wait till they were both established enough in work to do so. It seemed like the universe had other plans however, and truthfully both were elated when Jaslene was born. She was the first of an eventual four, and the light of her parents lives. As were her siblings too of course when a year later entered Elijah, then when she was five, the twins, Lorenzo and Ava. Luckily by this time the two had already begun the foundations of opening their own respective firms, and could support their grown family. Even regardless of that factor though, the Valentine’s were an incredibly happy and close knit bunch. Jaslene only being able to recount amazing memories, and though her parents weren’t always around as much as she would’ve liked, due to a demanding jobs, she still cherished every moment and was grateful for the time they got to spend together.

Growing up the eldest Valentine daughter could be described as having a free spirit, and kind heart. She had a genuine curiosity for the world around her, adventurous and had no problem wandering off at time or befriending essentially anyone, which worried her parents quite often when she was younger, stranger danger and all that. Her warm soul only grew as she did, a benefit that helped her flourish socially in school as she did academically too. When high school came around Jaslene was at the top of her class and held a number of electives under her belt, all the while living as a typical teenager. Going to parties, though she wasn’t much a fan to be honest, hanging out with friends, spending days at the beach and just enjoying life. And as senior year came to a close, her future looked immensely bright, with a list of colleges ready and willing to accept. However there a minor problem of her not exactly knowing what it was she wanted to study specifically. There were so many things that interested her, it was hard to narrow it down to just one or even two, but eventually after much deliberation with herself, she decided on Dance. It was the one interest she had come to love more than any other, always dancing around the house or outside, not even caring if people stared. She had her parents sign her up for classes growing up. It seemed like such an obivous choice, and upon getting accepted to UCLA, Jaslene was packing her bags on moving down south.

College was going just about as she expected, which was amazingly, she loved her classes, of course that’d be obvious. Being in LA was pretty nice as well, her parents helped her get an apartment close to the beach, which she was eternally thankful to them for, and no surprise at how easily she made friends. What she hadn’t expected though, was for her love life to take the turn that it did, when a certain guy all but forced his way into her heart, and won her over somehow. It began at a club in Downtown, reluctant to go because that wasn’t exactly her scene, but her friends wouldn’t take no for an answer and since she’d been studying more than anything, it wouldn’t hurt to have a little fun. While Jas hadn’t been a stranger to the night life per se, being there still felt slightly out of place to her. She danced some with the group she came with, and a few other, but mostly stuck by the bar, nursing a couple drinks while the sea of people around her got wild. One male in particular couldn’t keep his eyes of her, kept sending drinks over which Jaslene declined continuously. And when that didn’t work he decided to go over and make conversation himself, or in this case, try out his pathetic pick up lines and drunkenly hit on her. For him it usually worked, yet she was thoroughly unimpressed, making it a point to tell him that before leaving. But it wouldn’t be the last they saw of each other.

A few days later, while at the pier, they had what she would describe then as an unfortunate run in. Despite how intoxicated he seemed that night, apparently her remembered her, and thought since now that he was sober and could lay on the charm better, he could sway her into falling for it. That was not the case, and truthfully she felt even more disinterested. What seemed weird though, was the fact that as they spoke, people around them couldn’t seem to stop staring. For the life of her Jaslene couldn’t figure out why, and it was making her uncomfortable the more it happened, quickly removing herself from his presence, which turned out more difficult then she would’ve liked. It bothered her the rest of the day, wondering if it had to do with her or him, and if possibly they were in on some joke she was unaware about. Though her answer came to her that night, after skimming through a few news articles, and landing on a tabloid of all things, only to see his picture plastered, in a pretty unflattering way. What was most shocking though, was reading the headline and article, only to find out he was Eric Carmichael, son of one of the state senators, or more known to the media as a huge playboy with a plethora of bad habits and left home with a different girl every night. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at how typical it was, and thankful she knew better then to end up another conquest.  

Eric however wasn’t quite finished yet trying to get her attention; uncoincidently he’d pop up in her life, making visits to her campus, sending flowers, trying to earn his way in through friends. There was a point Jaslene contemplated on getting a restraining order since he wouldn’t relent when asked, but what really scratched at part of her brain was why. It seemed unlike him given his track record, that he’d make this much of an effort for one girl, especially when she wasn’t anything special compared to those he usually went after. Finally one day when her curiosity got the best of her, she accepted one of his date invitations, letting him know he shouldn’t expect much especially if he thought it’d get him lucky after. Conditions he could live with, just happy she said yes. Not one to beat around the bush she outright asked him about all of this, why he was so interested in getting a date with her and what the angle was. His answer; both unsurprising and yet completely surprising at the same time. Apparently he liked the chase aspect at first, believing she was just playing hard to get and it excited him. But the more time he got to see her, and learn about her, as weird as that sounds, the more he genuinely began to like her. It still didn’t make sense and if she were being honest, though it was bullshit. Though as the days went on, and because he wouldn’t go anywhere, they two started to grow closer, and Jaslene began to learn about a side of him that was different than portrayed by the playboy side of him basted everywhere. What really confirmed his seriousness was getting introduced to his family, something no girl ever got according to those who knew him. And whether she cared to admit it or not, actually did find herself falling for him.

After a slew of dates, and growing closer, there was no denying the chemistry and love they both developed for one another, and soon enough it was official. From then on out it was like a whirlwind romance, moving from simply being together, to living together, to engaged and at 25 they were married. It may have seemed way too fast to some, and maybe it was, but honestly they were both happy and she was in love, so it didn’t matter.  By this time too Jaslene was well into dance career, after finishing her degree she went on to work at Millennium Dance Studio for a little while as an instructor, before getting picked up by World of Dance to go on tour, being very impressed by the routines she came up with and her moves of course. There were also a few musicians that came into the studio from time ot time she helped create routines for them, and possibly appearing in a music video or two. The young woman was taking the dance world by storm and loving every minute of it. If asked, she’d tell you this was probably the greatest time of her life, and it certainly seemed like everything was going perfectly for her. Unfortunately though, not all fairy-tales get to have happy endings, and in the next couple of years to come she would learn that the universe isn’t always so kind.

A scandal had rocked Eric’s family, apparently someone leaked information they weren’t supposed to, and it was learned that not only was his father involved in legal trouble with his businesses, but as it turns out, the former senator wasn’t his real father. Instead of cleaning up his mess the man fled to leave his family with the aftermath, and Eric took it incredibly hard. He felt like his whole life was a lie, and his mother only gave half hearted truths. This lead the male to begin falling back into old habits once more, partying, drinking, not coming home till early in the morning. It was worrying and stressful to see him do this, and Jaslene tried her hardest to get him to talk, to let him know she was here and always would be, but the talks would only lead to them fighting because he was too caught up in his own mess to listen. One night she felt something from him that she honestly never thought possible, fear. She tried to urge him, in the calmest way possible to please talk to a professional if not her, because he was on a dark path, but it only caused his anger to bubble up so much that he yelled and slammed his fist on the table in the process, shattering the glass. It was an action that shook her to the core. Taking him to the hospital she made sure he understood this couldn’t keep happening, especially not now, having just found out she was pregnant. It may not have been the best time to break the news to him, but then again she wasn’t sure when that would happen. He apologized to her over and over, and promised he’d get better for both her and the baby, and because she loved him she accepted that, but couldn’t help this feeling in the pit of her stomach about it.  

Suspicions confirmed of course when he never followed through, and one night she got a phone call from the LAPD that they had him in custody. When she arrived at the stations, she was told he got charged with assault and damage to property. Apparently a hotel party gone too far, and he ended up fighting someone. This was the final straw for her, she was done trying, regardless of how much she still loved him she couldn’t keep doing this anymore. She wasn’t going to being their son into the world around this. She refused to pay his bail, and told him she was leaving. No amount of his words could change her mind now. Packing up all she could, Jaslene considered where to go, contemplating back to San Francisco, but after looking around for homes some more, ended up deciding on Newshore. A town not too far from her childhood home, and family, and far enough away from LA, which was just fine. All that she left behind for Eric was her ring and a note explaining why she was making this decision. Living in her new home for nearly a year now has been fairly good to her, and her now 10 month old little boy named Aiden who became her whole world. She also took time off work after he was born, mostly to focus on herself and her son, but missed dancing too much. So after thinking it over, Jaslene has decided to open a studio of her own in town, calling it (You)Phoria, a play on words from euphoria, replacing the beginning to emphasize that the place was meant for people to come in and be themselves, and express their love for dance just as she does. Always an advocate for helping others to follow their dreams, especially if they didn’t have the same means as her. Unfortunately though it wouldn’t be all peace, that’d just be too easy, Eric had continuously refused to sign the divorce papers, believing that they would work it out, which truthfully she didn’t want too, even changing her last name back from Carmichael to Valentine. He’s even filed to have joint custody of their son. She wasn’t vindictive, she never refused to let him see Aiden, but she wanted proof that he was doing better before so, not wanting him to be around the little boy still a self destructive mess.  All in all though she finally felt like she was getting back on the track of being happy once more, if only one certain part of her past would stop haunting her.

↪ PERSONALITY

You could say that from birth Jaslene had a very bubbly, inviting, and infectious personality about her that could make anyone smile. A lively girl with a heart made of gold, that thought to befriended anyone no matter what walk of life they came from. Because she happened to be fortunate enough to be offered things in life that most other don’t, never did she feel like it made her better than anyone. Probably the least materialistic person you’d meet honestly. She was also a Philocalist in every sense of the word. She saw so much beauty in the world and people around her, despite all the bad that went on. She chose to focus on the better parts, and wanted to share that outlook with others, but also never made herself oblivious to the negative. Her kindness often mistaken for weakness, as though she could be so easily stepped on, but she had no problem proving otherwise to the fact. Humble and selfless almost to a fault. Being a mom has also been one of the greatest joys in her life, despite still being heartbroken and completely stressed out at times, one look at her son and everything in the world is perfect. Even though she’s become a little more reserved and vulnerable, she’s still doing her best to hold on to what makes her, her.

[lonestorm]

The Inugami - Chapter 7

Summary: When Kagome Higurashi moved to the bad side of Chicago to help with her grandfather’s restaurant, she expected chaos. Being thrown into a fake gang, caught in the middle of a drug war and grudge that stretches centuries back in time, befriending a grumpy half demon along with a ragtag bunch of three other misfits… wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. High school AU. Inukag. Rating: T (some language)

Pairings: Inukag, Mirsan

Chapters: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Shorts: 1. Sesshomaru

**Also on ff.net here.

Within the next two months, Inuyasha had grown to an almost delusional level of paranoia from Naraku’s threats.

For one, he walked each of the Inugami home now (scandalizing Shippo’s foster parents with his barging in and starting a rather heated argument with Sango’s father), checking all of their houses for Spiders, and personally installing locks on windows that had none. (Including Miroku’s fortress of a Buddhist monastery. Honestly, an army couldn't break through that thing.)

What was more, Inuyasha would not let her out of his sight. In the hallway of school, he was no more than an inch away at all times, often putting his arm around her and snarling at any Spider that came close. He walked her home or to work as always, but at her restaurant shifts, he would stay at the counter, order some food, and finish his homework while she worked. He’d then take her to his house to train, or straight to her house, where he’d bid goodbye to her family, pretend to leave, and then crawl up to sleep on the small balcony outside her window. Kagome had insisted that this was extremely unnecessary, but he’d not listened to a word.

An entirely new problem had arisen as well, and it left Kagome especially bewildered and disoriented. For a while, she figured she was going crazy, and finally broke down to Sango during study hall.

“Something is wrong with me,” Kagome had groaned, dropping her head into her homework. “I keep seeing pink, glowing light and feeling this sixth sort of sense when some Spiders walk by. Am I finally losing it?”

Sango, much to her relief, didn’t freak out and took her seriously, only bearing a light frown. “Well, I remember Naraku saying you had some sort of spiritual powers, and you did breathe in some Jewel. While it didn’t have the addictive and usual effects… maybe you can sense it now? Because if it’s only some Spiders you get the feeling from, perhaps it’s because they carry Shikon Jewel-a drug with demon energies. If you had spiritual Shinto powers, you could likely sense youkai energy after being exposed to it.”

“This is sounding extremely Blue Exorcist slash Noragami-ish.”

“Anime has nothing to do with it. Maybe you should make Inuyasha dig through the pockets of the next person you see with the pink light?”

Though the idea sounded barbaric, she’d asked him to do so later, and found a small package of drugs in the gang member’s inside pocket. According to Inuyasha, this ability apparently made her “a little Jewel detector,” and he’d added asking her which Spiders to raid to their daily paranoia routine.

This had been his routine ever since they woke up the day after the first fight against Naraku. She remembered, with great warmth in her chest every time, how she’d woken up to his hands squeezing her shoulders, voice deep and husky with sleep. “Wake up, Kagome. I hear your mom making breakfast.”

At this she’d only snuggled into him more and made an incoherent response; during the night, somehow he’d shifted to hold her to his chest rather than the other way around, as they’d began.

“I have to leave,” he went on, whispering.

“Why?” she’d grumbled, unwilling to lose her heated pillow.

“Do you want your mom to find me here? Just because we’re not… like that...” she could almost hear his blush. “Doesn’t mean even a mom as chill as yours won’t jump to the worst conclusion, or be cool with a guy in their daughter’s bed.”

She’d winced. “Kay.”

“Just wanted to let you know… you know. Didn’t wanna be that jerk who leaves and doesn’t say anything. Em. I mean. If that matters to you or…”

Finally, she’d cracked her eyes open, and found a smile at his nervous expression. His white hair and ears had returned. She’d found satisfaction in how the haircut looked equally as good with his black hair and human ears as it did now. “It does. Thank you for waking me. That was thoughtful of you.”

His ‘keh’ had sounded more like watery ‘kuh’. “See you later, Kagome. I’ll stop by the restaurant later… if you’ll be there.”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

“Keep watching your back, and remember the maneuvers for escaping grip-”

“Yes, Inuyasha.”

“And one hit to the throat can really just bring one crashing down.”

“I know.”

“They just took some more Jewel, so they’ll be stronger and you need to be super careful--just run if you can-”

“Inuyasha,” she’d sighed in exasperation. “I know, okay? It’s about time you went home and tried to make nice with your brother.”

“More like join in the ritual of pretending each other doesn’t exist,” Inuyasha had muttered. “Yeah, okay. And… thanks. For… you know.”

“Yeah, I do.”

From then on, she could tell he’d afterwards felt very embarrassed about all the emotion he’d revealed on that night. She never brought it up to him again, knowing about his fragile human state, and honestly… she didn’t think of him as weaker because of it or something. It had been strange; while knowing how he feels was a bit easier, it had also been… not him. As a half demon, perhaps he was more closed off, and she had to be patient with what he was willing to tell. But that was just how Inuyasha was, and she loved him for it.

They’d also not spoken of that one ‘yeah I almost kissed you’ time. Kagome didn’t know how she felt about that. It would be awkward to talk about, but part of her… really needed to know why the hell he’d been about to kiss her. Or these confusing notions swirling in her hormonal, dumb teenage mind could get far too imaginative. And she really couldn’t afford to get hormonally imaginative about Inuyasha, her best guy friend that she spent most of every day with.

Yes, she told herself she couldn’t afford to. Especially at times like this, when the restaurant was practically empty for the night, Inuyasha was gently frowning and looking down at his English homework, and Kagome couldn’t help but find herself watching the twitch of his ears, the thoughts swirling behind golden eyes, large, scarred hands twirling a pencil. She’d finally admitted to herself that he was attractive… hella attractive… Okay, that she was attracted to him… hella attracted-but that meant nothing! She was a teenage girl that was allowed to have hormones that were separate from her romantic desires.

Without completely thinking about it, Kagome picked up a few homemade, chocolate chip cookies, poured some milk, and put them in front of Inuyasha. He blinked a few times, and then shot a timid smile. “Thanks, Kagome.”

“No problem.” Stifling a yawn, she moved to grab a broom when Inuyasha caught her wrist.

“Hey,” he said, and his voice was softer than usual, like it was every time she got him alone. “You’re looking pretty tired. You don’t wanna be all worn out before our training tonight. Gimme the apron and broom and siddown for a while.”

“N-nah, I’m okay…”

“It wasn’t a question.” Before she could protest, he snatched away her broom and made his way around the counter while putting in his demon-hearing specialized earbuds for music while he worked. Knowing he couldn't be swayed, she gave him her apron with a sigh and headed to the kitchen to pick up her backpack; she’d been avoiding her English and math homework, and she wanted it done to have a free weekend.

Her mother was in the back, loading the dishwasher. “Hi, Mama. Need help?” she asked when she’d gathered her things.

“No, I’m fine here, sweetie.” Her mother closed the washer and began the next load. Kagome leaned up against the sink beside her. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to make Inuyasha all salty by making you work more.” Her mother gave a wink.

Kagome looked away. “Oh, don’t worry about him. He can’t go getting whatever he wants by throwing little tantrums.”

“I suppose. And I doubt I could get him angry like that other boy, Koga.”

Reminded, Kagome gave a grimace. “Ugh, I don’t get why those two can’t just get along. They could be friends if they tried!”

At this, her mother let out a laugh. “Oh sweetheart, really? You don’t know why they don’t get along?”

Letting out a huff, she offered a weak shrug. “Well, I guess they’re both kinda like alpha males. That’s probably it.”

“Perhaps a little,” her mother admitted. “But the main reason is so simple. Inuyasha is jealous, of course. He’s that type of boy.”

“Jealous?” Kagome frowned. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Inuyasha is easily as powerful as Koga, even if he’s only half. Inuyasha’s father was a king among demons, so the half doesn’t really matter… I guess he could be angry about Koga calling him a ‘mutt’ or ‘halfbreed’ all the time.”

“Not jealous about power,” her mother scoffed. “About you.”

Kagome blinked, and then shakily pointed to herself. “M-me? What does it have to do with…me?”

“Considering how Koga asked to marry you,” her mother giggled, “I assume he rather fancies you.”

Kagome flushed. “W-well that may be, but he’s not really my type.”

“I can see that. But Inuyasha still doesn’t like competition for you. He reacts most violently when it seems as if Koga is threatening to take you away for his own. It’s a simple concept.”

Comprehension dawned on her: Mother thinks Inuyasha is into me.

“Whoa, whoa!” Kagome squeaked, waving her hands frantically. “No, it’s not like… no! Trust me, there’s no chance he actually… he’s in love with his ex-girlfriend! It’s nothing like that!”

As she said it, the ugly little monster that had been growing around her heart decided to speak up. It’s true. He could never care about you as he cares for her. He’s going to ditch you as soon as he gets Kikyo back. He won’t need you as a friend anymore, or anything else you truly desire to be with him. Why waste his time with you when he could have her? She’s more beautiful, desirable-

Her mother’s teasing voice brought her back to reality. “Well, I certainly don’t see him devotedly protecting her, taking care of her, spending all his time with her-”

“That’s because she’s trapped in a bad situation and he can only help from the sidelines! I’m trying to help him… get her back…” she trailed off, the nausea swirling in the pit of her stomach. Right. She’d help him get Kikyo back… and then Inuyasha would have no more use for her.

That’s right, the monster encouraged. Wouldn’t it just be easier if Kikyo wasn’t in the picture? She doesn’t deserve his love anyway-

Kagome put a halt to her mind right there. I can’t believe I thought something like that! I’m the terrible, undeserving one, for thinking such horrible things!

“-gome? Kagome, are you alright, dear?”

Slowly, she nodded.

The world seemed to right itself as her mother wrapped her in a hug. “I’m sorry, dear. I didn’t mean to upset you. I remember how hard it is to be in love.”

“M-me? In… huh?”

“Well, do you deny that you’re in love with him? Inuyasha?”

Her face felt especially hot at the mere idea that she was discussing this with her mother. She opened her mouth to outright deny such a silly notion, but found that words would not come out. Why wouldn’t they? It was a simple thing to say. I’m not in love with him.

Yet, thinking such a thing only sounded like someone hiding on a cloudless, summer day, covering their eyes and screaming that the sun didn’t exist.

So instead, her heart clenched, she looked down, and remained silent.

Mother may have said something, but Kagome was too consumed in her mind that was overwhelmed with a tsunami of acceptance. She had always been open to love, but perhaps her subconscious had been protecting her in denial, because…

Loving him would be internal suicide.

Yet, now it was flooding her, all the pent up longing and joy that splintered her bones. Flashes of his smile, laugh, the safety of his arms, the admittance that she never wanted to wake up and see another on the other side of the bed-

“I’m screwed,” she sighed to her mother.

“I don’t think so,” her mother said, kissing the top of her head and giving a last smile. With a dizzy head and a groan, she swung her backpack over her shoulder and gloomily slumping back. She was hit with it all again when she saw him, white bangs held back by his red bandana that had been made into a sweatband. Inuyasha was leaning down, focused on getting every last crumb into the dustpan. Trying to push her rising emotions downward, Kagome took a determined seat in his vacated spot, where she took out her worksheet.

Indeed, frustration took place of her uncertainty and internal shrieks; everyone else in class had gotten the assignment done within the class, but Kagome had needed to look several words up in her dictionary app. She was perfectly fluent in modern English, but this old English stuff was absolute gibberish, especially when put into a poem and asked to be interpreted.

Muttering words under her breath that too much time around Inuyasha had taught her, she pulled up google translate… “What the world is Eeahmbeek pentahmeeter?”

Inuyasha looked up at her and set his broom aside. “What?”

“Exactly! What! What? What is this?!”

“Chill out, spaz,” he told her, walking around the counter to stand behind her. “What’s the problem?”

“Shakespeare is the problem, Inuyasha. I speak English, but not… this!”

Squinting at the paper, instead of laughing at her, he frowned in something that looked almost close to sympathy. “Oh, yeah. I remember being totally confused when I was learning English. It took a cram crash death threat course from Sesshomarpoo for me to get this stuff… want help?”

She blinked up at him. “Oh. Sure, I guess…”

“Here, this is pronounced ‘iambic pentameter,’” he told her patiently, pointing at the two words in the instructions she’d scribbled down in her notebook above her assigned poem. “It’s the type of rhythm of a sonnet, which is the name of this kind of poem. A line goes like ‘ba-BOOM, ba-BOOM, ba-BOOM, ba-BOOM.’ Like a heartbeat. The structure, like the teacher was asking about here, is fourteen lines, four stanzas. This one has two quatrains, or groupings of four, and two triplets, which are groups of three lines. Sometimes they have different amounts in the stanzas. Like, in his eighteenth, it has three quatrains and one double at the bottom. The So long as men can breathe and eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, impressed with his memory over such things that she didn’t think he’d care about. “Thank you… so I guess I’m also confused on some of these words and references… what is a…” She squinted at the page. “Plaeets? Leerey? And Orpheus? Encompass? Ecstasy?”

“Firstly, it’s called a lyre.” She shot him a glare at his exasperated tone, but he ignored her. Why did I have to fall in love with such an asshole? “It’s an instrument, like those little harps you see cherubs carry in paintings. Plaits are braids. Orpheus is a character in Greek mythology that played such beautiful music that it opened the gates of the underworld itself to try to bring his wife back to life. Encompass basically means to contain, or encircle. Ecstasy is a really intense, good feeling, and also a name of a drug, so if someone asks if you want some, you should say no despite the first definition.”

The weight of all the homework confusion lifted from her shoulders. “I see. Thank you very much, Inuyasha. It’s sweet of you to explain. You sure know a lot about literature, for a half-demon hoodlum.”

“W-well don’t go gettin’ used to it.” Oh, it was so easy to make him blush. “An’ I’m not a hoodlum! For your info, spaz, I’m very cultured.”

“Well, if you’re so cultured, maybe you could show me what this iambic pentameter means?”

Eyes alit with the challenge, he swept up the paper. “Listen close to the rhythm, padawan. I’m gonna show you how a badass reads Shakespeare.” He cleared his throat and read out in a flowing, mesmerizing voice,

“If I should think of love, I’d think of you

If I should think of love

I’d think of you, your arms uplifted,

Tying your hair in plaits above,

The lyre shape of your arms and shoulders,

The soft curve of your winding head.

No melody is sweeter, nor could Orpheus

So have bewitched. I think of this,

And all my universe becomes perfection.

But were you in my arms, dear love,

The happiness would take my breath away,

No thought could match that ecstasy,

No song encompass it, no other worlds.

If I should think of love, I’d think of you.”

He ended in a ringing silence where she stared at him without any air entering or exiting for much longer than was healthy. Yes, she understood iambic pentameter now. How the words moved like waves, and when read by someone you were in love with, they washed into you, cleaning out any thought that could be bad and wrapping around you-

“Kagome? You with me, dorkface?”

Shaking her head so that her short hair fell into her eyes annoyingly, she coughed. “Y-yes! Yes, thank you. I understand now.”

“Good. ‘Cause if you tell anyone else in the universe that I read that cheesy-ass poem, I will piss on your shoujo manga collection that you didn’t think I knew about.”

“Creative as ever, Inuyasha. I won’t tell.”

After giving (or an attempt of) a stern nod, he returned to sweeping with intense concentration.

Some silver hair fell into his face, and she thought dreamily of tucking it back and kissing those golden eyes closed.

Damn, she thought with a sigh. So, so screwed.

Once she’d finished her homework, her mother released her to her defense lesson with Inuyasha for the night. The ride was peaceful and warm as ever, easier now that neither of them had to tie hair up. It still brushed across her cheeks like feathers.

Once they were in the little gym in his house, he told her as she began her stretches, “I’d like a shower from when that soup got dumped on me earlier. Would you mind waiting for a bit?”

“Go ahead,” she told him gently. At least he was asking, this time. “I’ll do some warm ups.”

“Good idea. I’ll be out soon.”

The door closed behind him, and she ventured to the punching bag where she began to wrap her wrists and hands with fabric. Inuyasha insisted it was essential: “If you don’t have that on, you’ll bust your knuckles and hurt your wrists with the impact. Wraps or nothing at all.”

She’d only run through one sequence of hits that he’d taught her before the door eased open and she turned to see Sesshomaru enter. Kagome raised her eyebrows in surprise, but merely offered him a wave and a “Good evening, Sesshomaru-sama.” He’d always subtly seemed to appreciate the ‘sama’, and it was essential to stay on that guy’s good side.

He offered a nod. “Higurashi-san.” Then, he eyed her fists and bag, the area around her. “I admit, I’ve become… curious, as to Inuyasha’s teaching methods. I haven’t heard any gun firing in our small range.”

Eyes narrowing in confusion, she stammered, “W-well of course not! That would be illegal, and… firing range? Wouldn’t that scare the rest of the building, on top of being illegal?”

“Certainly it’s illegal,” the chief of police said, waving an airy hand. “I’ve lived far too long to agree to not be able to practice with weapons in my own home. This room is extremely soundproof. Only a demon could truly hear anything happening, and everyone in this building is a human.”

“O-oh. Okay. Um, well I don’t want to do anything illegal-”

“If you’re joining the fight to end Naraku’s reign, then by simple logic, you will need to learn how to shoot a gun if you’re even going to be slightly useful,” Sesshomaru cut her off. “My brother not teaching you is unacceptable.”

“Uh.” Kagome scratched the back of her head. “Won’t you… arrest me?”

“Certainly not, foolish human,” he snapped, striding forward. “I’m the one suggesting it, am I not? And no one would believe you if you told them anyway, so I am unconcerned as to my own reputation. Now get to that midpoint so that you don’t shoot my stupid brother when he returns and prepare a firm stance.”

She gave the argument a last try, though she hurried to the center line like he asked. Usually, she’d put up more of a fight, but this was Sesshomaru, and she’d be a liar if she didn’t say he was terrifying. “Sesshomaru-sama, I r-really don’t think… Inuyasha told me he didn’t want me learning. He’s taught me a lot with hand to hand and other weapons, and he protects me well when I can’t do it myself.”

“Clearly he does not think you are capable of taking care of yourself. I simply think you must be forced to learn even if that is the case-”

“H-he knows I can! That’s not his point; he’s not being disrespectful-”

“Stand firm and take this.”

Knowing now that it was unavoidable, Kagome sighed and took the foam ear plugs and police handgun that he was holding out. It was heavy, dark, smelled like it had been freshly oiled.

“Hold it up towards those targets, straight. Are you right handed?” His voice was muffled from her plugs, but still easily understandable.

“Yes.”

“Then bend your left arm slightly so that you can take the recoil.” He stood to her right, not close and hands clasped behind him. “Put your left hand on the bottom to hold it up and straight. Yes, like that. Now keep that hand away from the top back; it’ll spring backwards and hit you.”

“Okay… like this?”

“Yes. Now widen your feet and prepare for the gun to recoil up and backward. Line up the center of the target with the notch in the back of the gun and the sight in the end of the barrel. It should be centered and flush with the top of the notch in your perspective, and that pointing at where you want to shoot. Do you understand?”

She gulped, and lined up the sights as he’d instructed. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now pull the trigger.”

She breathed in, and as she breathed out, she squeezed.

Kagome squeaked as the shot sounded and the gun jumped up and back. The bullet tore through the outside of the second circle. She didn’t know how she felt about it… part of her was afraid that she could create such an effect. Another part felt empowered. She peered up at Sesshomaru, who gave a nod. “That wasn’t terrible.”

Well, that was about as close to a compliment that he would ever give. “Um, thanks.”

“Try again.”

She did. And he’d told her to try until she could get that black bullseye three times in a row. Eventually, she lowered her shaking arms for a break, at which point she asked hesitantly, “Sesshomaru-sama? May I ask you something?”

His eyes were dull. “Can I stop you?”

Sighing, she continued anyway. “Why do you act like you hate Inuyasha so much?”

Kagome didn’t really expect an answer, but as she raised the gun again to try another shot, he told her, “Because I hate him.”

Bang. She scoffed. “No, you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have offered him a home. You wouldn’t have shown interest in his life and friends. You wouldn’t have come to save him on the New Moon. You wouldn’t have gotten mad at him for not contacting you when he was going after Naraku, because you would’ve been satisfied with getting a shot in at the end. You wouldn’t be teaching me this, because you and I both know you only want me to learn so that I can protect him if I need to and you’re not there.”

His golden eyes flashed, outlined by the shocking magenta, and she wondered in fright for a moment if she’d gone too far. But after a weighted silence, he muttered, “I never would have thought my brother could be interested in such a nosy and perceptive woman.”

“Hey!” she protested, but he seemed most indifferent to her indignancy.

“What is my relationship with my brother to you, human girl?” Oh dear, back to species instead of last name.

“I think it upsets him,” Kagome said. “He seemed more depressed and angry about your argument than Naraku getting away, that night of the New Moon. I think… deep down, he’s always wanted your approval. For you to be proud of him and be his family.”

Sesshomaru’s nose wrinkled slightly. “I share no concern for familial bonds and other human emotions. I am a demon-”

“I think that the idea that humans and demons have different emotional capacities is, excuse me, complete bullshit,” Kagome told him simply. “It’s a stereotype that humans and demons have been taught since childhood, so that they feel they must live up to the standard of being more or less emotional. At first, I thought there must be a difference because Inuyasha seemed more vulnerable on his human nights. Then I realized I knew other demons that had emotions just as strong as any human…”

Kagome gave a shrug, and shot the gun again before she went on, “I think all evidence points to Inuyasha being under a sort of placebo effect on New Moons. He thinks humans are more emotional, so that’s how he acts. He thinks demons are less, so when he’s back to half, he acts less emotional. If you think you’re supposed to be feeling a certain way, eventually you convince yourself that you are, right? I think you, Sesshomaru-sama, are under a lifelong placebo effect, a delusion that because you’re a demon, you can’t feel like we can and are therefore above our petty emotions.”

His eyebrows had grown rather high on his forehead. “You are philosophical, for a whelp. I’m afraid I disagree.”

“The truth doesn’t require you to agree,” Kagome said lightly. “Doesn’t stop it from being true. In any case, my point is, after living so long, it must get tiring to just go through life without companionship, just focusing on vengeance and different jobs. You have the chance to have family, but you’re throwing it all away for some meaningless pride. Towards the end of your life, you’re going to regret all the lost time you could have shown your brother you cared about him, and had a relationship with him. That kind of pride is only for people too afraid to open up and show vulnerability to the ones they care for. I don’t take you for a coward, Sesshomaru-sama. Even if you don’t give a damn about a simple human’s opinion, this dumb human has it all figured out, and she’s gonna tell it to you anyway; show you love him before it’s too late.”

Too bold! she scolded herself in fear as she swallowed. Did you entirely forget who you were talking to?!

Indeed, his eyes were burning holes right through her, and Kagome realized that the last time she’d felt this terrified, she’d been under Naraku’s sword.

“I could break your neck,” Sesshomaru told her quietly in a way that made her shiver and take several steps away, “with the flick of a finger. You dare presume to tell me how to live?”

“Y-you won’t,” Kagome managed, trying to hold her chin high. “And I presume to merely advise, because Inuyasha deserves better, the family he always wanted.”

“If he wants a family,” Sesshomaru said stiffly, “human, and if you care for him enough to speak down to a pure-blooded demon from the line of the most powerful demon king, then why not bear him one yourself rather than lecturing me?”

She choked on air, and stood up straight with cheeks blazing. “Excuse me?”

The doors flew open, and relief flooded through her at the sight of Inuyasha’s enraged face. His blazing eyes landed on the gun in her hand, and he stormed towards them. “Sesshomaru! What the hell are you doing with my- with Kagome?”

“Teaching her what you should have a long time ago,” Sesshomaru said stiffly. He snatched the gun back from her hands. “I’d advise you in the future to also better teach your bitch to keep her mouth shut and nose out of others’ business.”

“What the fuck did you call her, you bastard?!”

“You’re the bastard.” And with a last look of malice, Sesshomaru swept through the doors and slammed them behind him.

“What an asshat,” Inuyasha snarled as Kagome regretfully removed her earplugs and tossed them over by her bag. She was surprised by Inuyasha grabbing her upper arms. Firm, but gentle at the same time. He was examining every inch of her anxiously. “Did he hurt you? What did he say to you? I heard shots… was he really making you…?”

“He didn’t hurt me,” sighed Kagome, hugging herself. “I mean, he did tell me he could snap my neck with a finger-”

“He WHAT-?!”

“I tried to talk to him about some stuff that he doesn’t want to talk about. He got mad. I’m fine. And yes, he taught me how to shoot.”

“That gives him no right to try to intimidate you! And I said I didn’t want you to have to a gun!”

“I’m fine, Inuyasha. A few harsh words isn’t about to scare me, and neither is learning to use a gun.” Going for her trump card, she reached out and took his hand. “Let’s drop it, okay?”

He was just staring down at their hands. The perfect distraction… and a definite bonus for me. So warm…

Demonstrating impressive self restraint (for him), Inuyasha let out a shaky breath. “Fine. I’ll tear him up about it later. And I won’t leave you alone anymore, where he can mess with you. Let’s do a quick run.”

Kagome had improved exponentially in running since he’d paced her more reasonably, and luckily, today they didn’t go too long; just because she was better at it didn’t mean she liked it.

After more repetitive maneuvers, strength training, and practicing on the bags, Inuyasha finally wiped the sweat from his brow and told her, “Alright. Wanna try some sparring?”

The concept both excited her and was feared by her; she nodded anyway. They stood, face to face, on the mat, before he said, “Okay, you come at me first. Get some hits in.”

“You’re gonna annihilate me.”

“No shit! Now come at me, pipsqueak.”

Despite how Kagome knew he was hundreds of years (literally) out of her combat league, hearing him say that was sweet music; an actual invitation to attack him!

Kagome breathed out, and then ran, feinting a punch at his face before dropping low to trip. He ducked her fist and jumped with ease, sliding behind her, where she shoved her elbow. The damn boy always seemed to be able to slip away, and when he got bored of that, he’d simply block her attacks with a hand, keeping up with her like he could do it in his sleep.

It wasn’t long before she was completely wiped, at which she lowered her fists, groaned, and slumped to the floor. Kagome lay, spread eagle, on the mat, eyes closed and breaths heavy.

Following her lead, Inuyasha flopped down opposite her, head right beside hers so that when she looked over, she could see his smirking face upside-down.

Putting the back of her hand over her eyes, she panted, “Why do you have to be so good at this stuff?”

“Because I’ve had to fight people off from killing me since I was about eight,” Inuyasha said snidely.

“So maybe it’s not because I’m a total failure?” Kagome tried hopefully, turning her face to him.

He copied her position, upside down amber eyes piercing through her. “Maybe.” When she pouted, he rolled his eyes. “Kagome, you’ve been training almost every day for over five months now. You’re good.”

“Thanks,” she said, and surely the heat in her cheeks was from the exercise rather than the praise. “Only because I have a good teacher.”

Instead of using that comment to boost his ego further, Inuyasha was instead quiet for a moment before saying, “You really think so?”

“Think so what?”

“That I’m a good teacher.”

“Of course.” She folded her hands on her stomach. “You’ve gotten me this far without wanting to completely murder you, haven’t you? Why do you ask?”

“Well.” He hesitated, and then let words fall out, “I-I was thinking… I’ve never totally wanted to be anything… career wise. But… You know the college you’re going to?”

Kagome frowned. “Um, yeah. I kinda chose it because I know it.” She’d gotten accepted to a college not too far. Though she’d originally figured she wanted to be a nurse, lately, she’d come to enjoy-well, enjoy wasn’t quite the word, but feel fulfilled in-solving their mystery of Naraku’s crimes, and the defense training was thrilling… Kagome had written down that she would go for a criminal justice major. (She hadn’t told Inuyasha, wanting to avoid the accusations of how wanting to be a cop would make her in league with his brother. As if he didn’t know that Kagome didn’t really like Sesshomaru in the first place.)

For once, Inuyasha ignored her sarcasm. “Well, I didn’t say anything, but… I got accepted to the same school. And I was thinking about starting a business in teaching people defense.”

She sat up and gaped at him. “Inuyasha, that’s amazing! Congratulations! That’s a great idea! I think that’s perfect for you.”

His cheeks were pink. “Th-thanks. W-well… you’d be good at it too…” With a small huff, he sat up as well and looked away from her. Then he glanced back, and away again. Like a puppy that was not-so-subtly asking for food.

Narrowing her eyes, she tilted her head. “Are you… possibly asking me to be a business partner?”

“I didn’t say that,” he scoffed.

“Didn’t deny it, either.”

“And you didn’t answer, either.”

Kagome felt her eyes grow hazy as she set her face in her hands. “You know… wouldn’t it be cool if all of us opened a dojo sort of place? Miroku and Sango are good at fighting too, and Shippo is learning… we could call the company The Inugami.”

For a moment, his eyes brightened. “That’s… a good idea, actually.”

“We could even have it in Chicago--I’m sure many people here want to learn how to protect themselves.”

“Yeah! And we can have classes for different martial arts…”

“And basic self defense, maybe run some weapons-handling classes…”

The night spiralled away into wakeful dreaming.

[beardedwinnerobject-blog]

What’s the best way to shop for insurance? Through a broker or online?

"What's the best way to shop for insurance? Through a broker or online?

A broker has many insurance and knows where to shop if I go online am I going to be get the best rate?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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My employer is offering group insurance. My individual insurance seems like a better deal but everyone keeps saying group is better? Why is this?

Fire insurance in south florida?

I know I will never be able to afford full house insurance in south Florida. But I would like just fire insurance. any ideas? thanks

How long on workers comp can you keep you health insurance from your work?

i mean like for things not related to my work injury? how long do they have to keep my job for me?

Why the heck does car insurance make you pay more...?

when you call to file a claim? Like, why do they raise your rates when you call them to use their services that you're already paying for? Someone pryed the emblem off my friends car and he said if he claimed it on insurance his rates would raise just because he claims it. What's up with that?""

Used 2006 mustang v6 insurance for teens?

how much do you think insurance will be for a teen ages 16-17. (estimate) will it be cheap or expensive because it is used. and what if it is under the parent's plan? thank you

I need cheap car insurance in ny?

I need cheap car insurance in ny?

Learner driver insurance.?

Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone knows of any companies that offer cheap learner driver insurance. One of my friends are going to be giving me lessons but I cant find any companies that offer insurance for me in their car that is like less that 60 a month! any ideas anyone?""

Is they liberal comparison of medical insurance to car insurance flawed?

under obamacare,i cannot be refused because of a pre-existing condition...great right?...i dont have to get health insurance...the fine from the IRS will be cheaper...i can just wait till i get sick to enroll...would some one explain to me how car insurance would work if i waited until the day of the wreck to get insurance..???...""

What is the cheapest car insurance ?

Right what it is , i lost my license for a CD10, Which is driving without due care and attention , Yes i know what you are all thinking and i have learned my lesson, I appreciate that i do have to pay loads more on insurance but my question is does anyone know a company who does cheap insurance for a convicted driver, Many Thanks in advance""

Is A Ford Mustang a good car for a 16 year old?

Im 16 and Im getting my license in a couple of months. Im looking for a car and I really like mustangs. Im thinking about buying a 2003 or 2004 mustang in sonic blue. But will getting a mustang raise my insurance a lot and how much more than a normal car? Also, what mileage is bad on a mustang?""

Mobile home insurance?

i am thinking about buying a 2008 single wide mobile home that is in a lot in a trailer park. anyone have a guess on what insurance might a month?? or do i need it?? Thank you

What does 0% Coinsurance after deductible mean in health insurance?

Trying to purchase health Insurance and trying to understand what I'm dealing with.

How do I get affordable health insurance for my son?

I was in between jobs last year so I had to put my son on medicaid. As soon as I found a job I let them know but they kicked him off of it anyways. The problem I am having is that my insurance at work don't kick in until November and he has to have insurance by then for doctors appointments, etc. I tried to get MC+ for kids but they make it almost impossible to get. I just was wondering if anyone knew of a place where I can get affordable health insurance for my son?""

What is the average car insurance cost for new drivers in NJ?

17 yr old driver male extra cost cost per year on parents insurance?

Can a 17 year old get their own medical coverage in California?

I'm 17 and live in California. I was wondering if I am legally allowed to sign up for my own medical insurance, like through MediCal or something, and not through my parents. It's a long story, but neither of my parents are able to provide medical coverage for me. And I'm not emancipated or anything. 10 points best answer. thank you ( :""

How much do you think my car insurance would cost?

I'm turning 18 in March and will be getting a car on my 18th birthday. I don't know what type of cr I'll be getting but I'll make sure it has good MPG. I'll be using my car for storm chasing. Do you think I'll get a discount since I'm helping the National Weather Service issue watches and warnings by storm chasing? What's the average cost of car insurance for my age group in Manatee county, FL? Sources?""

What is the best life insurance to get and where?

I'm young but not in the best health, I'm looking for life insurance, something affordable and legitimate""

""Auto insurance just cancel, will they renew it?""

Just had auto cancelled at midnight, they arent open til monday morning. Can I pay the premium first thing that am and have it reinstated. I tried paying by phone and web but wont allow me to! Tomorrow is sunday and no one available.""

Cheap Cars for an 18yr old to Insure?

Cheapest I've found so far is a Classic Mini City 1.0 @ 2,500, Corsa 1.0, KA 1.3, Skoda Fabia all came out at 4,500... Any Ideas on anything else? Thanks""

How will my finance company know if i change my car insurance coverage?

im leaving to basic training next week and i was going to drop my car insurance coverage down to just storage insurance because my car is going to be stored and under a car cover at my fathers house while i am away. my car insurance company suggested before i make the change that i contact my finance company and make sure that there would be no issue if i did this, how ever the finance company said i could only do this if i literally go and rent a storage unit and keep my car there, AND i have to be deployed, simply being away at training is not enough. If i go ahead and reduce my coverage to storage insurance, how would my finance company know, im sure there has to be some way they would find out.""

Car insurance -- should they cover these expenses?

I had an accident a month or two ago. It was in a rental car. I found out today that the insurance company had disallowed some of the charges that the rental company tried to pass to them. Now the rental company is trying to pass those charges to me. They ammount to about $500, plus my deductible, of course. The charges are $100 for an administrative fee $200.89 loss of use fee $139.38 diminished value fee. Who should pay these charges? Should I fork this money over to the car rental company? Should the insurance company pay them? What strategy should I use in my conversations with them? My feeling is that I have insurance, it should pay everything which is an actual cost above and beyond the deductible. ie if I have to pay it, the insurance company should have to pay it. On the other hand, if they are somehow bogus charges, then the rental company can eat it, and that's fine. Thought?""

What's the best way to shop for insurance? Through a broker or online?

A broker has many insurance and knows where to shop if I go online am I going to be get the best rate?

""Got into an accident , I have no car insurance but my dad has car insurance , will my dads insurance cover me?""

I failed to yield , I'm supposed to appear in court, what will happen? I'm under 18 and live with my parents and the damage wasn't a lot , just a scratch on the car I hit, will my dads insurance cover me? I don't use it a lot? What will happen? I also live in Illinois""

Farmers Insurance problem when changed from CA to OR?

Hi, I've had insurance in CA for 2 years and moved to Oregon recently. I had my insurance tranferred with an useless Farmers Agent in OR. The thing is I already paid my 6 months premium in CA which is covered me until 06/2009. I paid nearly $450 for until 06/29. I've had quite a few discounts in CA but the jug-head agent in Oregon, not shifted any discounts to Oregon automatically. I got a bill for next 6 months from that agent saying that I have to pay $1000, since I haven't lived in Oregon for long enough. Jeez!!!. It's almost a $600 rise in my insurance that too I haven't had any claims or ticket in my last 5 years. I went to meet him in person but he told that's all he can do it. He didn't look my CA policy/discounts too. Then I told him, I can get $500 insurance anywhere else. But he challenges me if I could get something like that. I haven't approached any other insurers yet. Is it anything like insurance history or something like that maintained nationwide or in Oregon? Does he threaten me based on somre record? Can I get some decent insurance from someother insurers/agents? In CA I've never paid my 6 months permium more than $450. I'm the only driver for my car and the car is 8 years old. I've never claimed from any insurance till date. I neither had any speeding tickets elsewhere. Can I get some insurance for some decent rate If I shop around? My farmers insurance expects to pay the additional premium in a week else my policy with farmers expires. I dont want to meet someother farmers agents. I wanna get out of farmers and go with someone else. Can I get some decent insurance in a week?""

""I bought a car off the lot, and two days later on my way to get insurance I got in an accident (my fault)?

In california isn't there a law that states you have to have insurance before u leave the lot?

Can daughter get Health Insurance if she has pre-existing such as asthma?

My 18 year old daughter who graduated in May, has moved to a nearby town and is working at Applebees. She wants to get certified as personal fitness trainer, and so she will be dropped off of my insurance, since this is not a full time student program. She was 18 in June, and lives in Texas. She is going to soon have to be dropped of of my health insurance. I do not think that Applebees provides any insurance for hourly employees. She also has asthma, although not real bad, but this is a pre-existing conditions. Will she be able to get any kind of affordable health insurance, or is she just going to have to be one of the millions who can't have health insurance?""

Renters insurance?????

My landlord is asking me to get insurance for my dog but its not for like health and stuff its for something else. She told me about renters insurance. And i don't know what to do. Plz help

Affordable Health Insurance?

I was in a pedestrian accident earlier this year. The case has since been settled and I was awarded $25,000. That was the maximum insurance the driver had, after lawyer fees, etc., etc., I didn't end up with much. I am unable to work and have no health insurance. My back is still scarred. Everyday, all the time it aches. I stopped treating with the chiropractor because he was making me feel worst the entire 2 months I treated. I need prescriptions and medical attention period! I have about $4,000 left, but I am unemployed and do not want to continuously dip into my savings. Since my lawyer has been paid, I seem to be of least concern.""

If my parents have insurance under all three of cars and I want to drive...?

Do I have to purchase a separate insurance or do I just add my name under theirs? I just wanted to know how much would it cost for me to drive per month or year. I'm 20 years old and I've had my license for about half a year now.

Best non-owner liability coverage insurance?

What is the best non-owner liability coverage insurance in New York ?

What is the cheapest best kind of individual health insurance?

What is the best kind of individual health insurance...that is the cheapest?

How to find a dead relative's life insurance company without papers? Read details please?

Here is my situation My mother just died and I don't have the money to pay for a funeral right now. My mother has life insurance but I don't know where the papers with the information is. I don't know what the company's name is and I don't know how to contact them to report the death. Is there a way for me, her child, to get that information without the documents?""

Do I gotta be on my mom insurance?

Do I gotta be on my mom insurance to get my licence... I'm 17

""Help with cancelling my car insurance, and selling my car.?""

I have recently bought my first car and have decided that it is simply too expensive. Can someone give me advice on how to go about cancelling my insurance, taking it off the road and getting it sold. I realise that it's an offence to cancel the insurance and have the car on the road. I haven't yet received my new Registration Certificate as the registered keeper as I have had the car less than 4 weeks.""

Does a Dodge Dart have sports car insurance?

If i buy a dodge dart Rallye and it has the 1.4L turbo engine, will i have to pay for sports car insurance?I have statefarm..""

What if I am pregnant and I don't have insurance?

I live in California if that helps any. I am 18 years old and was supposed to start my period a few days ago. I already live on my own in an apartment with my boyfriend and we are nervous about if I were to et pregnant how would we pay the bills? Is there anything we can do do get health insurance quickly if we find out that I am pregnant? Would we get approved fast enough and would people even approve me? How does that all work? Thanks

Car insurance confusion?

I have full comp. insurance for my car and I can drive any other vehicle as 3rd party (As per policy). I also own another car which is not insured to anyone...Can I drive my this car (un insured) under my existing policy as 3rd party ?

Your opinion of my car insurance?

I pay $58 a month for liability on a 93 Explorer. I live in the middle of nowhere and don't drive exceedingly. Just wondering if you think this is an acceptable rate or not. I don't think it's too bad but a friend of mine insists I'm getting ripped off.

Are auto insurance deductibles tax deductible?

I have a smashed windshield with a $500 deductible. If I get someone to fix it (for a lot), can I write off my payment of the deductible on my taxes next year, or is it just called the deductible because it is deducted from the total cost of the repair?""

What is a reasonable price for a teen's first car?

I'm hoping to get my license soon, but figure, there isn't a whole lot I can do with it without a car of my own. I'm really not sure how low the prices of cars get without being a piece of junk. Are there decent cars that start in the thousands, or is everything pretty much over ten thousand? What difference does it make if it's used? I'm not looking for a dream vehicle, just something for the next few years to get myself from a to b. The only knowledge I have so far is that my mom's toyota was around $30,000 brand new (and I'm definitely not looking to spend that much), so that's basically what I'm comparing everything else to. Any advice on the basics is greatly appreciated. Thanks!""

How long after someone dies to get life insurance benefits?

my grandmother died about 2 weeks ago and i was wondering when her life insurance policy would go through so we can receive the money from it to manage her estate, we heard that probate takes about 16 months, but we cant wait that long for the insurance so how long does it usually take?""

Does anyone know where to get classic car insurance for under 25's?

I'm 21 years old I own an rs turbo that is 23 years old. I know you used to be able to get classic car insurance through Adrian flux but they've just changed there terms so you have to be over 25, but there must be a another insurance company that will take under 25's.""

Is the Honda civic si considered a sports car with insurance companies for a new young driver?

I was wondering if a 1995 1996 1997 Honda civic si would be CONSIDERED A sports car with the insurance company? I'm 16. Thanks

About how much does full coverage auto insurance cost?

I'm just curious of how much a good estimate is. If you need a vehicle, try 2000 Honda civic.""

How much would my car insurance cost?

If i was to buy a 1.4 three door corsa SRI 05 plate.

Anyone know where to get affordable international health insurance?

I am wondering where I can get some decent health coverage to cover me during my international adventures . Does anyone know where to look for this stuff? Please give websites and phone #'s if you have them. Thank you.

Car insurance?

how much would it cost to insure a car. if the driver was sixteen. it wouldnt be a fast car. so how much for third party insurance. and how much to get my car insured

What's the best way to shop for insurance? Through a broker or online?

A broker has many insurance and knows where to shop if I go online am I going to be get the best rate?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/would-cheaper-insure-88-93-mustang-rather-than-99-04-self-maus"

[notyourq-blog]

Backstory

This is the fuller version of Q’s backstory, I took it off their main page because it’s dark and it can be rather off putting whilst largely irrelevant.

Marcus History

Marcus Thompson was born to Maria and Joseph Thompson on an unknown date in March. As his father was somewhat of a crimelord with a large number of fingers in a huge variety of pies including human trafficking, drugs, weapons, etc the birth was never recorded so that, once Marcus got older, his father would have a completely obedient assistant who would never exist on the grid.

Marcus grew up surrounded by his parents and a small handful of his father’s men to raise him. It was noticed by his mother at a very young age that he was intelligent, she encouraged this by teaching him to play piano and chess but did her best to keep this from Joseph.

The young boy’s intelligence became obvious when he started to beat several of his guardians at chess by the age of six, upon discovering this his father hired an ex-Oxford Profession by the name of George to teach his son.

Marcus flourished under George’s instruction and, having no real idea the damage his father’s work did, he began to work to help plan and organise accounts for his father’s ‘business’. The 10 year old was thrilled to be so such use to his father and couldn’t understand his mother’s constant worry.

As he grew he got more and more responsibility, learning how to use a variety of weapons as well as different languages. This was also when he first began to use a computer (under careful supervision to keep him from learning too much about the ‘real world’) which he excelled at, soon able to hack into almost every system his father asked of him.

The morning of his 16th birthday found Marcus meeting all of his father’s business partners for the first time, at least he was pleased to be so well received by the men but, after their lunch, he was requested to truly become a man.

As the only softness in his life was his mother a gun was placed into his hand, she was forced to kneel before him, and his father ordered the boy to kill her. Marcus refused, leading him to be beaten until he was sobbing and bleeding, until his mother begged for him just to do it.

After his mother’s death Marcus continued on doing the work for his father, only for the man he had worshipped all his life to turn out to be more of a monster than any of the organisations he hacked.

George noticed this and slowly began to teach Marcus small things about the outside world. Just before the boy turned 17, George sent him away with train tickets to a small town in Scotland with enough money to see him through a few months. As Marcus left he knew the man would be killed for this but all he could do was thank him for everything before stealing away into the night.

After 2 days Marcus found himself in a small town, surrounded by more people than he’d never send in his life he decided to get food and hide away for a bit. Upon leaving the cafe later in the evening he quickly found that, as smart as he was, he needed male than intelligence to survive in the real world.

Thankfully a man called Jack, on the way to meet his friends at a bar, helped him and took him to his parent’s B&B where Marcus was able to shower and sleep properly. The next day Jack showed him around the town and the two began to bond.

Jack introduced Marcus to music and art that the boy had never even been aware of, teaching him about Scotland and trying to figure out how the teenager had ended up out here with nothing but a few bits of clothes and money.

Soon enough Marcus was working at a bar run by Jack’s friend, getting on well in the big wide world and slowly beginning to fall for the man who had been so kind to him.

Jack asked Marcus on a date during his second month in the town, not needing to do much more than just spend time together for both of them to be having fun and for Marcus to feel safe.

Months carried on like this, Marcus falling deeply in love with Jack and vice versa, even to the point where Jack’s mother would often tease them that they should be getting married in the spring.

Marcus was too relaxed and happy to notice the day one of his father’s men appeared in the town, feigning holiday with his wife and young daughter as he scouted out Marcus’ new life. Marcus was too relaxed until he came home from work and found his father sat next to Jack with a steel rod through his neck.

His father gave him the choice to come home by choice and he would put Jack out of his misery, or to argue and try to stay (with the full understanding he would be forced home anyway) while Jack slowly drowned in his own blood. Marcus broke down, sobbing for his father to stop and that he would go home. But Jack couldn’t be saved and the bullet was in his skull before Marcus could even ask why.

When they returned home, Marcus was kept constantly drugged to keel him reasonably docile. He lost a large amount of weight but was still able to complete the work required of him. His 18th birthday came and went without any kind words exchanged between father and son.

Marcus’ dosage was changed, feeding him drugs that led to anxiety and fear which were only able to be expressed violently. When the teen got particularly bad his father brought him people to kill - men, women, and children. In the full awareness that Marcus had barely any control over himself and didn’t really know what was going on directly after his shots.

After over a year of chemical torture Marcus successfully left a message with their location in MI6’s system, this allowed his father and many of his men to be captured or killed and left Marcus’ future down to a council of several spy agencies.

It was quickly decided that Marcus could not be left to roam the world due to his inability to cope with human interactions and expansive knowledge of hacking and other ‘detrimental’ activities. Officially Marcus Thompson was sentenced to death but Dr Jonas Port had a better idea.

Q History

Subject 16’s early memories were only full of pain and the confusion caused by drugs that were working hard to keep their brain completely empty. Dr Port would tell them how he was going to fix them, how he was going to keep them from being a monster and let their amazing brain be used for good.

As the pain faded S16 began to learn, not taking very long at all to relearn how to walk and talk and begin to question how the body they had been gifted works, touching their barely-there muscles to understood how they worked. Soon they learned onto harder material - mathematics, basic science, language and general information processing.

For the first few months of their existence they were told they couldn’t go outside. ‘It will make you sick. Undo all of my good work. Do not ask me again!’ Dr Port would yell in frustration as S16 queried where their human guards would go at night. So they kept quiet in the white room with white bed and white clothes and white mush that didn’t take of anything but that kept them alive.

One of their teachers, ‘you can just call me Nicole, sweetie’, was the first to take them outside. She was fired soon after, lost everything, but (if anyone had ever bothered to ask her) the smile on S16’s face as they touched the grass and watched the birds in the sky and realised there was more to life than learning for the first time had made it worth it.

Soon after that S16 met a man from MI6 who called himself Q. He was older than most of the humans S16 knew but he was kind and smart and reminded S16 of things they wasn’t supposed to remember. The man taught them what it meant to be the Quartermaster, how precious all innocent humans were and how S16 would work together with their agents to protect them.

Slowly, S16 (nicknamed Ben) came to learn the outside world in a way that felt uncomfortably familiar but they continued to push down any fragments of a life that wasn’t possible since they’d been no one before this. The old Quartermaster taught them everything they needed and then helped them to get a home in London.

There was a bracelet at first, attached around their wrist that told higher-ups everywhere they went. The galleries and theaters weren’t alarming though, they were still learning - trying to blend in with the humans they were going to be entrusted to protect.

After a few more months of no concerns Ben got another new name… Q. They replaced the man who had been so kind to them and set to work with MI6. Now the bracelet was gone they had no reason to take the medication that made their head spin… or so they thought.

Within a week there were nightmares. Stray, violent thoughts that could not be their own. A voice in their head that was almost their own, but not quite, asking what was going in and ‘why aren’t I dead?’ and other unsettling things.

Q did their best to suppress Marcus but, after the first horrible withdrawal, was unwilling to begin to take the drugs again. For weeks the two argued and fought for control for this body that had never truly belonged to either of them. First it had belonged to Joseph… then Marcus had given it to Jack willingly. And now Q refused to see them as anything but the property of Dr Port and MI6.

When a nighttime stroll would have gotten them killed, if not for Marcus’ own violent nature, Q decided that the man was perhaps so bad. And Marcus decided that nine of this was Q’s fault - they were little more than a child who had been forced to grow up and be exactly what they had been told. But maybe the future could change that.

[psotu17]

Water Mill, NY

USDAC People’s State of the Union Story Circle

Parrish Art Museum, Water Mill, NY

January 27, 2017

Circle #5

Facilitator: John

Storytellers: Katherine, Dan, Jennifer, Nelly, Fanny, Chris, Corinne (2nd round only)

Poets: Megan Chaskey, Sandra (translator)

Notetaker: Cara

FIRST ROUND

John began by asking circle participants to introduce themselves and by reviewing the themes and guidelines. John shared the first story.

John: I was thinking of a friend of mine today and I’ll start with a story about him. I’m retired from my day job and now I do a lot of fun things that I didn’t have time for when I was working. One of the things is Jujutsu. I train three mornings a week. The morning I take Jujutsu there are a lot of people coming in and out, but for the past 4 years one gentleman comes to class every morning that I come. He lives in Springs and he’s Ecuadorian. He speaks pretty good English and I speak pretty bad Spanish. We can communicate verbally but we don’t talk much. Over the years, since we are there at the same time, we’ve become training partners. We come in, we seek one another out. We are about the same size. I’m considerably older than he is, but we have equal temperaments. We started working together. We don’t talk about personal matters and yet our relationship is intimate. I don’t know if he has legal residency status and he doesn’t know my status. We have met each other’s families just by happenstance meeting in the streets.  We don’t go for coffee, yet I feel closer to him than I do to any of my other male friends. It’s all based in the work that we do together. I think that my real feeling is that it’s much easier to overcome boundaries or to break through the boundaries inside of our mind through collaborative experiences and partnerships such as work and training. So my friend and I, who might not have met any other way, have become very close through this democratic process of working together.

Katherine: So I’m divorced. I’ve been divorced for 10 years. I have three sons ages 23, 22 and 18. Ten years ago, when I got divorced they were young teenagers. Six years ago, my ex-husband decided to adopt a 16-year old young girl from Ecuador. It was really surprising and a big adjustment for everyone, since it was introducing a child into a divorced family. This caused a great deal of confusion and strain on our family. It was challenging for everyone and we had a hard time for a while. Then, when one of our sons had his tonsils out, my ex-husband and I waited for 6 hours together in the hospital during his surgery and recovery. During that time, we discussed the girl and her story and how his process of coming to this adoption happened. That day completely changed everything. I learned this girl’s story, which was quite tragic, of the mother abandoning her family and her father dying suddenly and leaving her with no place to go. This softened my heart—learning that she did not have a mother. In the 1 ½ years since then I have become a kind-of step-mother to her and we’ve become a blended and extended family. We’re a 21st century blended family and she’s my “kinda/sorta” step daughter.  It’s turned into—well, she got married and I took her to get her wedding dress. Most recently, I took her to the Women’s March in DC and it was really meaningful for her in a lot of ways to be with the group of women that we went with and to be with me. She’s planning to become an immigration lawyer so it was significant for her to have her consciousness raised as an activist. It’s been this real process of not just acceptance, but of embracing something that has been particularly wonderful for me.  

Dan: Earlier today I was watching CNN as I’ve been doing a lot more recently and hearing about the new American UN ambassador. It made me think of my uncle John. Last spring, he died in the VA hospital in Brooklyn. He had lived most of his life in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, and served in World War II in the Navy. Nobody in the family knew until that funeral that he had also served in Korea. He had been in trouble with the law and I learned that he’d enlisted in the Navy to avoid the police. After the mass he got buried in Calvary Cemetery which looks across the water to Manhattan. He was buried with his mom (my great grandmother) and with military honors. So they folded the flag and played taps. During the funeral, another uncle kind of tapped me and pointed toward the UN building, which we could see in the distance from the cemetery and said, “This is a good place for an immigrant to be buried.” That stuck with me and today when I was watching TV that memory came up and I was thinking about…what this country can mean.

Jen: I never wanted to be pregnant and growing up I had a friend who was adopted. So after my best friend became my husband we started to consider adoption. It was very important to us that the adoption program we chose was an ethical one. We ended up adopting our son from Korea. There is a woman across the world that I can’t do enough for who gave us this child. Recently, I went to open a bank account for our son and I needed to bring his passport, birth certificate, etc. We were given an additional questionnaire and a paper I had to sign because he was born outside the United States. When I asked about this I was told it had to do with preventing terrorism. This really brought home to me how people not born here are treated very differently. Just because he was born outside the US, I had to prove that my 10-year old son is not a terrorist.

Nelly (translated by Sandra): I thought being arrested by ICE [U.S. Department of Homeland Security Immigration and Customs Enforcement] was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.  But after my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and over 8 years I saw her succumb to that disease—I think I will die the same way. Everyone says I am just like her and I have the same name. My friends and family know me as Nelly. Most people have not seen me vulnerable; they see me as an activist. It’s not as if I am living a double life, but there is a lot of pain to release. I always worry that it won’t be good for those who see me as strong to see my fears. It seems I was always in the wrong place for the right cause; many other things have happened that have awakened me. 

Fanny (translated by Sandra D): I’m Ecuadorian. I was a very good student in high school and university and I made the decision to come to the U.S. I left my family and have not seen them in 15 years. When I came to this country my life was not as easy as it was in my country. My parents gave me an education and I had everything a child could want, but my dream was to come to the U.S. to have an operation.  When I was 3 years old there was an accident and my hands were burned in a fire. I had many operations and my parents blamed each other for the accident. I came to the U.S. believing that I could have an operation to have my hands transformed—to have good hands like everyone else. When I got here I couldn’t do anything. I left my parents behind and they couldn’t help me. I tried to get money together, but it was not possible because the operation was very expensive. I got together with my significant other and tried with his support to fulfill my dream for the operation but it was not possible.  Now I have two kids. I started my own cleaning company and now I have 5 women working for me.  I try to believe that no matter what happens I will be happy. All my workers have problems and struggle from day to day.  I try to help them and to believe that I will be happy. That is the most important thing. 

Chris: I think we all struggle with the context of trying to think of stories in relationship to the themes. I find myself darting between two stories—but both of them are around art. So to put this in context, I came from a big family. My father died when I was seven so in my family by age 18 you had to be out on your own and we had to figure out where to go. I was fortunate enough to get scholarships to a university and pursued a career in arts and design, which wasn’t what my family wanted. I had to pay for all this myself, and in my second opportunity I met a guy who helped me understand the experience of a masterpiece—which I hadn’t had much exposure to through my family. He told me, “A masterpiece can grab you physically and emotionally.  It can make you cry.” At the time, I thought it was honestly bullshit. It just didn’t register. But, when I was on a trip to Amsterdam I went to the Rijksmuseum and when I walked into the room with Rembrandt’s The Night Watch it practically took me to my knees and I knew what that guy was talking about. I physically had a reaction and couldn’t believe that the light in the painting was physically piercing and penetrating. I had a moment reflecting on my mom and my family. Two weeks ago, my daughter traveled to Amsterdam and I told her she had to go see the painting. She of course didn’t, but it gave me an opportunity to tell my wife about my experience with the painting. That was a Saturday morning two weeks ago, and that night I went to some new friends for dinner and our host Frank (he’s an artist) started talking about a painting that physically took him to the ground—and it was The Night Watch. So now I have an affinity, a connection, and friendship that will last for as long as I know Frank. With all that’s going on it’s nice to know that things like that can happen. 

SECOND ROUND

John: I want to share a story about a time I was proud to be American. In my neighborhood when I was growing up everyone was a patriot. They were quiet and dignified patriots. It did not mean that they carried guns or that they were right-wing. It just meant that they loved their country and had fought for their country. Most of our fathers had severed in World War II. After my high school graduation in 1965 I didn’t have many options. There was no money for college and I didn’t have ideas of what I wanted to do. I decided to enlist in the military. I enlisted for three years. For part of that time I was stationed in California, which in the mid- and late 1960s was a hotbed for anti-war activism and the Cultural Revolution. When I would be off-base and in uniform, people would abuse me terribly. People would say terrible things to us. They would even curse and spit at us and try to start fights with us because our military was so unbelievably unpopular at that time. It was confusing to me and made me as angry as hell, frankly, and turned me off. Since then I’ve been a quiet patriot.

But then last year I (and I think as a culture we) had a remarkable experience. The terrible tragedy in South Carolina when Dylann Roof shot all those people at a church in Charleston, which led to President Obama speaking at the funeral for the pastor. His talk was so incredibly high in consciousness and full of dignity. When he broke into Amazing Grace I thought to myself: This is everything I want as an American. This level of dignity and consciousness—it was the most beautiful and idealistic thing and it made me very proud to be an American. 

Katherine: I’m a social worker with a counseling practice in Sag Harbor. I work with a lot of Spanish-speaking clients and a lot of different kinds of people—people who are often very different from me in various ways. About three years ago, the manager of my office building, who is a veteran from the Vietnam era, came in and asked if I could talk with a veteran who had served in Iraq. He said this young guy was having a really hard time. I said, sure, no problem. I agreed but soon realized I had never sat down and talked with a veteran before. He was 27 years old and his experiences were humbling for me to hear. I was so startled and moved by the stories he was telling me that I realized that in order to work with him I needed to educate myself real fast in order to be helpful to him. So I started learning a little bit more about military culture and veterans’ issues and talking to people. I found the Joseph Dwyer Veterans Support Project that provides services in New York State and operates in Suffolk County. They had a group based in Yaphank and I asked them to come out East to see what the needs were. They drove out from Hauppauge and realized they needed to setup an East End support group. They said, “OK–We get it!” To make a long story short we ended setting up a support group in my office. Over the past few years, I’ve had the opportunity to meet a lot of different veterans and get involved in veterans’ issues in a lot of different ways including the veterans’ court in Southampton. This has completely redirected and changed my life. I’m now doing my Ph.D. dissertation research on veterans’ transition to civilian life and it all started with my building manager asking me to talk with this young man. I’ll end by saying that my son is in the Navy and he was deployed all of last year and now he’s back in San Diego. So all the things that I’ve learned has added new meaning as well, since these experiences are going to be my son’s experiences.

Dan: One of the performers/headliners at the presidential inauguration was the guy who sang that song, “Proud to be an American.”  I’ve always hated that song. It drove me nuts and I’ve heard it a lot. I was in the Marines and in Iraq and that song is sort of a canned version of the shallowest, surface-level expression of patriotism. It’s the opposite of what quiet, dignified patriotism is all about. Recently, through my work I started to get to know a couple of Vietnam Vets. There’s one guy in particular. He gives me a big hug every time I see him. He’s a 6’6” black man who loves his country and he’s like a mentor to me. We were talking recently and both expressing our exasperation with the current political situation and he said, “I am definitely NOT proud to be American right now.” It really struck me because he’s a decorated Vet and a successful businessman. He’s committed to community service and spends most his time giving back without any fanfare or ego. For a guy like that to say he’s not proud to be American, that really struck me.

Corinne: I wasn’t going to tell a story, but I decided to tell one after I listened to your stories because I’m also not from this country. I grew up in Switzerland and similarly I could have had everything there. I had a good education and my family was there, but I was young and adventurous and I wanted to come to New York because I had a relative here. My father’s cousin had come here after World War II; she had met a GI and followed him. She lived in Flushing, Queens, and I could stay with her for the first few months. She was my anchor. She was like my surrogate mother here and I was always very close to her. When she turned 85 her daughter—who had married a Swiss man and moved there—felt that she should go back to Switzerland, since she was getting old and frail. My aunt did not want to go. She said, “They have changed, I have changed. It is not my place anymore. New York is my place.” But her daughter wanted her to go and she went. I saw her only once after she’d gone back to Switzerland and I did not recognize her. She looked disheveled, almost like a homeless lady. It was very hard for me to see that. She was always a very upbeat person. After I had come back to NY she wrote a letter that said: “I have thyroid problems. I am supposed to take medication but I am not taking it.” I knew something was wrong, so I planned to visit her first thing during my summer vacation in July. I flew to Switzerland on July 5. When I arrived, I called immediately the hospital and they said she was no longer here. I was glad, thinking she went home. But they said, “No, she passed away yesterday.” I felt she gave me a sign to say, “Come, tell me the news from New York.” I was totally devastated to arrive the day after she died because she was so crucial to me being in New York. I have very mixed feelings. I do feel I belong here but also, every time I see my mom and I come back here it breaks my heart and I cannot imagine how hard it is for you (Nelly and Fanny) not having seen your family for 15 years. There is something to be said about where you come from and at the same time there is something to be said about where you build your new family. There is always that duality that resides in all of us who have left home to go far.

Jen: I do something in my job that is very difficult for me and I pretend that it’s not. I teach a Gender Studies class and one of the topics that I do is rape. The first semester I did it as a pet topic of mine because I’m a rape survivor. It was a very difficult topic to teach but I thought I was doing it out of my own strength. The students particularly responded to a film called “The Hunting Ground,” which is about campus rape. Some of the students became very interested in taking on this topic and others fell apart and asked me if they could skip this part of the class. I allowed that. I was having a hard time and I told the students that I’m a rape survivor. I thought I was doing this out of strength, saying “I’m one of you.”  Statistically, if it’s 1 out of 5 women who are rape survivors, a number of us in the room have been raped. I want them to know that I am one of them, whoever they are. Then I got very fragile about it and I wanted to convince myself that I was strong. Last semester a conversation ensued in the class where a number of the boys (2-3 of the boys) decided that rape was a “gray area.” This is the sort of thing we hear from the opposite side legally, that a woman wasn’t really raped and that it was actually consensual. They convinced many students in the class that there is a “gray area” with respect to rape. I’m prone to migraines and I got a migraine during this class, I was so shaken that I became a very poor moderator. I was unable to moderate this discussion. I let the class devolve into a situation where they believed in the gray area. I felt I couldn’t continue to teach this topic, so I went to the NOW website for other potential current topics to bring up in class—things like equal pay, family leave, etc. I learned that violence against women is the number one issue is this country. So I have to continue to teach it. I started out teaching it as my own pet topic, in an even conceited way. I realized I’m not the strong survivor I thought I was. We teach women how not to get raped; we don’t teach men not to rape.  Because of that, because rape continues underreported—I have to teach it. It’s something I’ve got to do—even though I am braced for a migraine  

Nelly: I’m going to speak English. I’m coming from a millionaire-like family in my country. I’m a teacher and very Catholic. In my family, we wake at 5 am and we pray for 2 hours until 7 am every day.  So, I had everything, everything that people dream of here, but I was not free. My mother got sick; my grandfather had the money to take care of me and my brother and sister. All the while I was thinking the same thing: “I want to go to New York.” For some reason, New York is like a dream, like in the movies. I thought I would love it and be free. That did not happen. I came to East Hampton and I was married and he was here. Everything totally changed. My first job was cleaning houses in Montauk. I was divorced after one year. After a couple of months, I had no house, no food, no clothes. I experienced life with nothing. I was trying to just get back to my country and forget this, but I was too proud to go back to my grandfather. Too proud to tell him that everything was bad and that I was sorry. Three years ago, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So I called him right away and he said, “Can you please come.  I want to see you.” I planned to take the next flight. I packed my suitcase and made plans for my little ones. When I got back home, I got another call and they told me he was dead. That moment was really horrible, to not get back in time. He was waiting too many years for me. I was the only one who was not there, so he was just asking for me. After he died the family was fighting over his money. Now it is finally settled and I can travel. I have some of the money that was meant for my mother and I have everything so I can go back but I don’t want to. If I go back now, I think I will betray my values and my principles. Now is really the moment that I need to stay here and continue to fight. I’m ready to go back, but it can’t happen right now. Now I am in the correct place for the correct cause. 

Fanny: I’m going to try English too. I’m not really sure if I’m from here or if I’m from my country (Ecuador). When I left my country, I left all my family. I’m still sad and I miss them a lot. I wish I had someone else to help me, to give me advice. I don’t have anyone here, just a few friends. Some people I work for are really nice people. They are like family now. My parents say, “Fanny, come back to your country and you will have everything here.” I have two children, age 13 and 10, and they say, “It’s not our country. If you want to go, go and leave us here.” They don’t want to go there. For me, it is hard because the president, I respect him a lot, but he has very bad choices for us. What can I do? I could be deported tomorrow, or today. What choices do I have now? I stay here with fear, because my kids do not want to go and after 15 years apart I’m not sure I know my family at home. People ask, “Where are you from?” Not here, and not there—what can I say? I would do anything to stay here—even marry a woman!

Chris: I think one of the words in those prompts is “opposite.” So, the nice kid from Connecticut (me) gets his art degree and ends up in Louisiana to teach sculpture at LSU. It’s like a foreign country to me, but it’s not, it’s America. There are two of us in the sculpture department so there isn’t much faculty.  While I was there, the city of Baton Rouge and the university had a competition for a public monument downtown to honor Martin Luther King. The winner of the competition was an artist from New Orleans. I don’t remember his name, but he was a white man in his 60s or 70s. Early in his life he had been a doctor. He was really nice man and we hit it off. He’d created a simple sculpture that was very big. On the day of the installation, representing the university, I went down at 7 am to help get the sculpture erected because at 2 pm that day would be the ribbon cutting and dedication. I meet the guy who was going to oversee the installation. The artist introduced him, saying “This is my friend and his idea of a good time is helping people out.” That phrase stayed with me. So, we get the crane, ropes, etc. and install the sculpture and we’re having lunch. Then the crowds started coming in for the ceremony, hundreds and hundreds of people, many of whom were African-American. And this guy—for whom a good time was helping people out—utters the most vile, racist, and most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life. I can’t repeat it. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. It was like out of nowhere. To this day, I can’t get those two phrases out of my head or reconcile how the guy who has a “good time helping people out” said what he said. I know that monument to Martin Luther King is still standing, but it was erected by one of the most racist people I have ever met. This comes back to me every now and then and for now I’ll try to think of Obama singing and that will help.   

In closing, JT asked each member of the circle to share one word to sum up their feelings about this experience.

Brimming

Torn

Hopeful

Buoyant

Connected

Impotent

Lighter

Free

Honored