#i was in this piece of media.. i’m being vague because i don’t really know what it was. podcast with video elements? tv show? movie?

[fingertipsmp3]

Had an absolutely wild dream last night

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

Maybe I’m just getting older, but I really don't get this notion that people have when it comes to media criticism. 

Nobody is sitting here saying that all criticism is good and that you should listen to every piece of criticism you get. Because guess what? Not all criticism is argued in good faith, nor does anybody like getting criticized. 

But it’s important to learn how to deal with criticism, otherwise how are we supposed to improve? 

I also hate how some folks assume that just because I’m critical of Viv and her shows, then that must mean I have some sort of personal vendetta against her. When I really don’t. 

Truth be told, I legit hate that people think that I’m a Viv anti or that I only made this blog to criticize her shows. As anybody who actually bothered to browse through my archive would know that I’ve talked about (and criticized) other things that aren’t related to Viv. 

My life doesn’t revolve around Viv you guys, I don’t wake up every morning and think “I wonder what Viv is up to?” I just go about my day like every other human being. 

The reason I criticize Viv so much is that I’m genuinely curious as to why so many people within the animation industry hold her in such high regard. Is it because she came from an indie background? Do people love the “Indie creator gets her own show” narrative so much that they’re willing to overlook all her creative shortcomings? 

It’s weird watching the same folks who were dunking on Velma praise Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, because you damn well know that if Velma did the “Characters are in a room that’s decorated in dildos and vibrators” gag, Twitter would have a collective meltdown. 

And yet for some odd reason, Viv’s shows are held to such higher standards that I honestly start to wonder if all these industry professionals watched the same shows that I did. Because I’m struggling to think of a single Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss joke that genuinely got a laugh out of me. 

“But humor is subjective” okay, then why does Viv get so defensive whenever someone criticizes the humor that’s found in her shows? 

Really don’t understand why she goes out of her way to complain about her critics when she could easily ignore them. She’s under no obligation to respond to her critics, but she keeps vague posting about all the criticism she gets because she literally cannot handle getting criticized. 

Here’s the thing, Viv’s fans tend to assume that just because I'm critical of something that’s popular, then that means I don’t get criticized. When that certainly isn’t the case. 

I’ve been criticized for being critical of the current state of indie animation, I got a bunch of hate from racist nerds for liking the My Adventures With Superman version of Livewire, and recently someone responded with a full length essay to a post of mine that was critical of Primos. 

But the difference between me and Viv is that I don’t constantly post vague backhanded insults regarding my critics on social media. If I feel a piece of criticism is worth addressing, then I’ll address it and if not? Then I’m not going to bother. 

Trust me, I haven’t lost any sleep over the fact that a bunch of random internet folks don’t like me.

[tiktaalic]

Just watched Social Network for the first time. I get it now. I understand why I've seen 2000+ Tumblr posts trying to capture the Experience of that film. I understand why I've alternately seen it hailed as a watershed cinema masterpiece that exposes silicon valley for the asshole boys club it is and also as a film that fundamentally misunderstands what it takes to succeed in silicon valley and also as the funniest fucking gay tragedy ever put to screen. And they're ALL correct. In the midst of this film about people who feel a vague twinge of human emotion once a year, Andrew Garfield bravely experiences Shakespearian earthquakes of the soul over *checks notes* Mark Zuckerberg. I laughed harder than I've laughed at a film in years. I was earnestly told by the images on my screen to feel sad for the silicon valley brain-geniuses because the poor dears lose all true human connection on account of their being the worst people you've ever heard of in response to the hardship of suffering nothing ever at all. Edwardo pulled that 'you love Gatsby because Nick loves him' shit so fucking hard that two or three times I was tricked into a glimpse of emotion about the curly-haired fucktwat on my screen before recalling that said fucktwat is *checks notes again* MARK. ZUCKERBERG. At which I'd feel like the butt of a cosmic joke but couldn't even be mad about it because it was in fact the funniest shit I'd ever experienced. After two hours of watching the most obnoxious piece of shit you've ever seen in your life the film pulls an honest-to-goodness 'he's not an asshole' about *checks notes again because surely that can't be right* WAR CRIMINAL MARK ZUCKERBERG. It is, and please know I say this without irony: a good film.

INTERESTING. I don’t think it tries to make you sympathize with mark at all. I thought it had a very…. Not as far as an anti zuck stance. But a mark zuckerberg sowing haha this rules mark zuckerberg reaping well this sucks. What the fuck. Stance. Very Pyrrhic victory rich asshole on rich asshole crime you won at what cost. Stance. Edwardo was in love with him though. I cannot dispute this. The only people who dredge any sympathy out of me are Rooney mara (mark zuckerberg’s ex) and Eduardo saverin (mark zuckerberg’s ex) because Rooney mara voice I was nice to you mark don’t torture me for it. And then he did. I really am well and truly shocked that nobody got sued over that movie. Becuase mark Zuckerberg sucjs so bad in there. BEAUTIFUL flick though. I’ve seen it several times. Incredible soundtrack. I never get tired of watching the drift apart build into an explosion which culminates in mark sitting in an empty room alone with a computer comma hated. Like I watch the social network and I’m like oh it’s about the social media company they made up for their movie. With character types that are meant to round out a cast and plot rather than reflect any real world people. I love it I’ve watched it 3 times this year. My cocomelon

[yamchaisawesome]

PENNY IS TRANS AS FUCK: An Essay.

WARNING, SPOILERS FOR POKÉMON SCARLET ABD VIOLET

So I saw some TERFs getting mad at someone headcanoning Penny from the new Pokémon games as trans saying they’re intolerant because they, and I paraphrase “headcanon every vaguely gnc person as trans.”

Anyway I, a cis man, am out here like: Did we play the same fucking game? So I’m going to compile every bit of evidence that I can find in support of this gal being trans.

Let’s start with what I like to call Trans Evidence Lightning Round. These are things I can’t write ridiculous amounts about but still feel important to include. These include but are not limited to: 1.Her wearing a large hoodie (possibly a dysphoria hoodie)

2. Her terrifying proficiency with coding and hacking. (Note, this is in no way dismissing cis women in coding or stem as a whole. The trans girl coder stereotype is just really common and Pokémon loves its shorthand)

3. She has a FUCKING SYLVEON (literally has the trans flag colours as the colour scheme) as her ace when you battle her.

4. She says “Shine bright like the starry sky and become who you really want to be!” When terrastalising said Sylveon, which can be taken in a number of ways.

5. The fact that none of the team star bosses knew her name before she left, only referring to her as “The Big Boss”

I’ll probably add more later. Now, onto the juicy stuff. Some of this doesn’t fit together but they all seem to imply the same thing and they’re all there.

It is revealed later on that, like the rest of the team star members, Penny was bullied relentlessly. It got so bad that she eventually just shut herself inside and never left the house. This isolation was so intense that up until the end of the Starfall Street story, none of her closest friends (the team star bosses) ever saw her real face. This isn’t the strongest bit of evidence but we’re never given a particular reason like we did with Eri or Atticus, so it’s in no way out of the question that the bullying could’ve been transphobic in nature.

Ortega’s Tutor (the director of the academy before Clavell took over) refers to the “Big Boss” (AKA Penny) as a he before sending her back to Galar as “punishment” for 1.5 years. Now this could just be a mistake on the devs’ part, but that seems like it gives us a rough timeline of eggcrackery, intentional misgendering (which seems out of character for the guy), or it could simply be that he had never met Penny due to the aforementioned social isolation and based it off of the student database which in my experience rarely updates this kind of stuff.

Nemona doesn’t recognise her. I repeat, NEMONA doesn’t recognise her. The most extroverted of extroverts, the super popular girl who’s on the student council and could probably look at the student database if she wanted to, the girl who has been at the school for AT LEAST two years for the simple reason that the events of the main story is not her first treasure hunt does not know this girl despite her being there before. There are many ways someone could write this off, including the aforementioned social isolation and her not knowing too much about team star in general but that is still really weird considering that this is NEMONA that we’re talking about. This could easily be supporting evidence for her transition over the 1.5 years in Galar.

And let’s say you’re still not convinced and you think she’s cis. That’s fucking fine. Nobody is going to judge you for that. But don’t be a piece of garbage and get mad at someone for headcanoning her as trans. To me and many others, she’s a genuinely cool trans character that doesn’t shove that fact in your face. Seriously, anyone who does this (btw if any of you TERFs stayed up to here, thank you but why?). Y’all get mad that “The media shoves trans shit in my face” then when there’s a character who either isn’t trans but resonates with trans audiences or is more subtle about their identity you get angry when anyone calls them trans. It’s very contradictory and I dare say hypocritical.

[harrietvane]

Hello,

I’ve just finished “Blue at the Mizzen” and I was wondering what your opinion is on the unfinished book is….

Have you read it? Would you recommend reading it or not?

I am so sad to be at the end of the books but ending on Jack so happy and relieved might be the best place to stop?

Would really value your opinion as I know you know the books well.

Warmly,

Rosanna

Ooh this is a tough one - because my own approach (thus far) is not one I’d necessarily recommend? The thing is: I have not read it.

However! Complicated reasons for that. One is a personal weirdness of mine where I am oddly resistant to watching or reading the ‘final’ instalment of a thing. I have noticed myself doing this a lot: I’ll just leave the very last episode unwatched, the last book in a long running serialised saga unread. This is not a recommended practice, it’s what I’d call ‘a super dumb thing to do’, and I’d categorise that as a symptom (of what? Who knows! I’m an undiagnosed delight). Is it because if they fumble the last instalment it leaves a bad taste for the whole series? Maybe. Is it because if there’s still one left, then there’s still Something Out There and the experience of discovering new writing isn’t over yet? Could be! Anyway, it’s a silly thing to do and I don’t recommend it as an approach to media. Go forth and read!

Having said that, I do have an aversion, generally, to publishing bits and pieces of an author’s notes as though it were finished work. I think it feels like being asked to have the mindset where a creative endeavour is ‘content’ to consume, rather than a constructed, deliberate work - “it’s their words and you want more words! So here’s more!”. O’Brian seems, from the work, and from interviews, to be a bit of an exacting, deliberate sort of creator - taking 3 chapters of some unedited typescript and adding some handwritten elements that didn’t even get to editing stage feels uhhhhh vaguely intrusive? Ahhhh why am I like this, that’s not even a reasoned response, and should not be taken as direction lol. I should back away slowly from this sort of parasocial contortion!

Like, I’m all for publishing someone’s essays, collected letters, all kinds of ephemera - that’s it’s own thing. But taking something which is a specifically a work In Progress, and publishing it as though it were a presentable book (a voyage of Jack Aubrey), didn’t really appeal to me. Which is contradictory of me as I do enjoy artists proofs, sketchbooks, and unfinished paintings! I contain multitudes.

At the end of the day it felt a bit like the publisher going “I’m going to tell you a new Aubreyad story, but we don’t know if O’Brian was going to tell it in this way, really, and also I’m going to stop partway through” which I didn’t fancy experiencing. So, at this point I tend to finish up at 20 and go back to 1. Never say never though - maybe the various editor’s notes, forewords, and afterwords would help me enjoy it as a fragment, rather than a presented work. It’s at least 3 chapters of (more or less) O’Brian prose, which is better prose than one often finds.

Please don’t let me stop you for any reason. Read on! If you go ahead and read it, post your thoughts?

[shiningshenanigans]

When Sacrifice No Longer Feels Loving: Raw, Messy, Emotional Thoughts on Loki Season 2

It’s been a little over two weeks since the season 2 finale of Loki came out, and although it’s been pretty much all I’ve been able to think about lately, I haven’t really been able to put my thoughts into words. And I have a lot of thoughts. I need to get them out of my system, and I’ve tried to write them down on multiple occasions, but every time I do, they keep getting stuck on the way out.   

So, I’ve decided to do something different. Rather than trying to analyze the series critically, I’m going to just start writing about how it made me feel, and see where it takes me. I’m not really sure what’s going on in my heart and mind as I reflect on this story, but I have a vague idea of the truth that it’s tapping into. Fair warning: these thoughts are going to get very Christian-y and preachy, so if the gospel is not your thing, I don’t know how much sense this post will make. But, if you’ve been having a similar experience with the season and care to read, I hope that you find some encouragement and truth in these messy, emotionally honest thoughts!

When I try to sum up how I feel about season 2 as a whole, the only word that really comes to mind is “upset.” I’m just upset about it. The morning after the finale aired, I woke up with a deep, hollow pit of sadness in my stomach. I broke down crying a couple of times over the next few days just thinking about certain scenes in episodes 5 and 6, and I couldn’t rewatch the finale for almost a week. 

Is it weird to feel this kind of grief over something as simple as a TV show? Yeah, probably. But I think that’s kind of the point. I’d been looking forward to the release of this season for two years. Without getting too personal, I’ve recently been through one of the hardest years of my life. Just this year, I’ve gone to two funerals for people that I grew up with, been in a car crash, faced rejection in a relationship that I had grown emotionally attached to, and mourned with my community as we experienced one of the most tragic shootings in our country's history. The release of Loki season 2 had become a little bright spot in my 2023; something to look forward to in all the madness. 

When the first season came out, I remember being overcome by how good it was. It was wacky, and sweet, and funny, and sad, and redemptive all at once. Even in its darkest moments, there seemed to be a thread of hope that ran through the series from beginning to end. Over the years it had become a comfort show, a beautiful piece of art that offered me encouragement when I needed a pick-me-up. Because if a comic book super villain with a long history of screwing his life up can change his ways, make new friends, fall in love, find meaningful work, stand up to his oppressors, and ultimately write his own destiny, then gosh darnit, so can I. 

My roommate and I invited our friends over, every Thursday night for six weeks, to watch the new episodes as they premiered. Our watch parties started off full of excitement and anticipation. I even made key lime pie for us the first couple of times, which was a big hit. But as the weeks wore on, and the episodes started to spiral deeper into tragedy, our post-watch conversations became more full of questions and complaints than anything. When the credits rolled on the finale, we sat in an almost mournful silence, watching the screen, waiting with baited breath to see if there would be a post-credits scene. There wasn’t one. You could almost feel a sense of dread fall over the room. That’s it. That’s all they’re going to give us. That’s how they’ve decided to end the story. 

I think the first words that were uttered when the Disney Plus screen finally popped up were, “I hate Marvel,” before we all began to voice how we felt.  

I can honestly say this has been one of the weirdest, strongest emotional reactions to a piece of media that I’ve ever had. It’s genuinely felt like I’ve been going through the five stages of grief over this show, but the grief isn’t just stemming from the inherent sadness of the story. I’m also grieving the show itself; what it’s become, how it was handled by the people it was entrusted to, and the knowledge that there will likely not be another season to redeem it. I feel angry, unseen and unloved by the writers who set up everything over the course of six episodes to ensure that the finale was as heartbreaking as possible. 

At the same time, however, I can’t say that I hated it. A part of me knows that the reason it’s affecting me so deeply is because it’s so well-made. Art doesn’t grip you this much unless it’s objectively good. There are legitimate critiques of the story/filmmaking that I could make and a lot of people already have. The temptation to scoff and say “Michael Waldron wouldn’t have done it this way” and turn all my excitement towards Secret Wars is very strong, but that just seems like misplacing my hope. Underneath all the sadness and the frustration, there’s also a layer of confusion. Am I supposed to be feeling this way? Is this what the writers of this show wanted me to feel all along? And if so, why? What are they trying to say through this story?  

I don’t normally mind stories with tragic endings, so long as I can understand the purpose behind them. I remember feeling similarly unsettled when I finished the first season of Arcane, wondering what the point of it all was. But after a little bit of analysis and reflection, I could see how the tragedy was fitting; how the characters choices had led to the ending and the cautionary tale it was trying to tell me. Even in the tragedy, it was still good. I’ve also learned to love the grief that comes with watching a character make a heroic sacrifice for those he loves. I think of Tony Stark in Avengers: Endgame, Janner in The Wingfeather Saga, or Stoick in How To Train Your Dragon 2. All these deaths are heartbreaking and painful to watch, but there’s a certain beauty to them too, and you can feel the goodness and love in their sacrifices.

This one is different, though. Something about this one feels wrong. Something about this one feels deeply, inherently, not good. And analysis is only making it worse. 

I’m having a really hard time seeing the beauty in the sacrifice that Loki makes at the end of season 2. This story wasn’t supposed to end in tragedy. It was supposed to be a reversal of tragedy. A second chance for a beloved character (one who has already sacrificed himself for love on multiple occasions) to finally receive some kind of reward instead of punishment.

To end the series the way the writers did feels almost like a stab in the back, a betrayal if you will, of all the hope and joy and restoration that the first season promised. I guess adopted children who are abandoned at birth really are destined to be alone forever, no matter how much love they have to give. I guess villains can’t find redemption, and even if they do, they will not escape eternal punishment for their sins. I guess quarrels between brothers (or lovers) can’t be resolved, and every relationship we cherish is doomed to fall apart eventually. I guess young women like me, who are strong and independent because we’ve had to be, are not worth pursuing, and we should be content with our middle-management jobs and casual friendships as if that is the peak of human existence. I guess we should embrace isolation and selfishness after all. I guess true love doesn’t really exist, and we should walk away from any semblance of it before it makes us bleed.

Bummer. 

The night after we watched the finale, I drove a couple of my friends home. On the drive back, I could feel the sadness of the story aching in my gut. I thought specifically about Sylvie, and how unsatisfied I felt with where the story left her. I’ve always connected with her as a character, and I hated the way she had been sidelined throughout the season. Every week, I had tuned in hoping I would see some kind of reconciliation between her and Loki. I just wanted some kind assurance that she loved him back, that they would somehow end up together in the end. One kiss, one hug, just… one conversation, for heaven’s sake. One apology from either side. One confession of love. But six episodes and it never came. Their relationship wasn’t even addressed. It was reduced to subtext, as if it wasn’t the back bone that Michael Waldron built his original pitch off of back before 2021.  

I thought about the way she shrugged and smiled when Mobius asked her what she was going to do next, and it just irked me. Why didn’t they tell us what her plans were? Why didn’t they give us some kind of clue? It seemed so obvious to me what she should do. She should make good use of her Tempad and go be with Loki. How could she just walk away, knowing everything he just sacrificed for her? Do people really think she could just… go back to her life after that, with so many things left unsaid between them? If she really does love him, how could she? How could she go through life, knowing that the truest love she’s ever experienced is lightyears away, always watching, always with her, but unable to be physically present with her in a mortal, tangible way? It sounded like such a sad, lonely fate and my heart broke for both Sylvie and Loki as I thought about it.  

But then it dawned on me: wait a second… isn’t that what it’s like to be a Christian? Isn’t that the reality I’m living every day, as Christ’s bride? The weight of that realization was so heavy I almost had to pull over on the side of the road because I couldn’t breath. My savior loves me more than anything. He gave up everything for me, just like Loki did for Sylvie. I don’t even know how many rounds he went with the enemy on that cross, just to bargain for my soul. And what do I do about it? I shrug it off with a smile. I forget about it until it’s convenient. I go back to my job, my house, my car, my record store, as if every second of my life hasn’t been paid for by the blood, sweat, and tears of a God who just wants me to be ok. As if I could ever fool myself into believing a life without Him is enough for me. 

As if I shouldn’t be fighting like hell to get back to Him. As if love so amazing, so divine, doesn’t demand my life, my soul, my all. Just so you know, I teared up again writing that last paragraph.

A lot of people have pointed out the parallels that can be made between Loki and Sylvie and Adam and Eve. The comparison really does work in a lot of ways. A perfect likeness, a counterpart created for a lonely man because “it is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). One flesh, two halves of a whole. Equals, balancing and complementing each other perfectly. A couple chosen by a higher power to rule the universe with authority. There’s something edenic about that scene where they snuggle in the grass under that blanket together: a man and a woman, wrapped up in a garden of green, completely unguarded and vulnerable with each other. The man promises the woman his protection, and the woman shyly offers him her trust and thanks in return. 

When they make it to the Citadel at the End of Time, their parting echoes deeply of the fall. The serpent (He Who Remains) sows seeds of distrust between them, knowing full-well that they are stronger together and could easily overpower him if they remain united. The two halves are torn apart and turn on one another. The woman, in her thirst for freedom, takes control of the situation, and the man fails in his duty to stop her. Free will is unleashed into the world, and with it comes consequence and chaos and danger.         

If season 1 can be read as the journey from the garden to the fall, season 2 reads more like the journey from the fall to the cross. Chaos and confusion, spiraling slowly towards death and destruction. Constant distrust between the man and the woman, between God and his bride. An inability to reconcile, to fix what’s been broken. The citadel goes from being Eden to being Gethsemane. When every other option has been tried and all hope is lost, Loki returns to the moment of the fall and pleads with his love, over and over again, to make a different choice. But she will not stop rebelling, even though it leads to her death every time. 

Unable to reason with her, Loki confronts He Who Remains to bargain for her life. But there’s no option that doesn’t end in bloodshed. Loki must either kill Sylvie, the woman he loves, and go on committing genocide in HWR’s place. Or, he must break the temporal loom and let the chaos that ensues destroy all of reality. These, according to He Who Remains, are the only two choices. So Loki makes a third choice. Instead of sacrificing others for the multiverse, he makes a total sacrifice of himself. I think you can see where I’m going with this. 

It’s not lost on me how weird it is to compare Loki, a marvel super villain based off of a pagan norse god, to Jesus. But the crucifixion/ascension parallels here aren’t exactly subtle. Loki puts on a heavy crown, carries a great burden up a hill, and “dies” on a tree of all things, to save both the woman he loves and the group of friends he’s grown close with during his time at the TVA. His last words to his loved ones before he ascends are, “I know what kind of God I need to be, for you, for all of us.” When I think about the story in these parabolic terms, I’m almost overwhelmed by how much truth is woven into this mythology.  And yet, something about it still feels deeply unsettling to me. There’s still a piece missing that makes it feel more like a Greek tragedy than a Jewish parable. 

As they are, Loki Seasons 1 and 2 show me a reflection of the fall, the cross, and in some ways, the ascension of Jesus Christ. What they don’t show me is a picture of the resurrection. And any christian will tell you that the resurrection is the most vital part of the story (1 Corinthians 15:16-20). The series shows me sin and what it costs. They show me what is lost in sacrifice, but they don’t show me what is gained. The hero meets a fate worse then death, and is forced to remain there, alone, for all eternity. There are no tearful reunions at the tomb, no assurance that death has been defeated, no eucatastrophe. No curse reversed. God and man are forever separated, and for some reason that’s supposed to be beautiful, according to Marvel. It’s not. It’s a question mark, a gaping wound at the end of the story that offers no comfort. To live in that tension, that separation, in those three days between Christ’s death and his resurrection, is literally the most painful, most hopeless place for the human heart to dwell. But, maybe it’s a tension that we should sit in more often, so that we can appreciate the weight of what Christ did for us. 

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t really hate season 2 of Loki. It’s a beautifully crafted piece of art, well-written (sort of) and well-acted, with gorgeous production design and a deep, meaningful story at its core. What I hate, with every fiber of my being, is the thought that that is where the story ends. That it’s supposed to end there. That this ending is good. As a Christian, I almost can’t accept it. Everything in me screams that there has to be more resolution beyond the credits of the finale. 

That, I think, is where all the pain swirling in my heart around this story is really coming from. And whether they know it or not, I think that’s where a lot of the Loki fandom’s pain is coming from right now. The gospel is so written into our DNA that it pours itself out into every mythology we try to create. We are so desperate for the reassurance that the resurrection is true, that when we get even the slightest hint that it might not be, it triggers our deepest, darkest anxieties. Nothing scares me more than the thought of being alone, separated from God, for all eternity. Not even death is scarier, or more tragic, than that. It is, by definition, hell. 

So yeah. Curse you, Marvel. Curse you for telling me a story that hurts like hell, and expecting me to just be ok with it. For giving me an ending that could never, in any reality, be satisfying or conclusive, and then trying to gaslight me into believing that it is. For ensuring that I will probably end up buying a ticket for both Secret Wars and Kang Dynasty (even though I’m really tired of superhero movies) just so that I can see if I’m right, that love really does win in the end. I don’t really have any kind of expectation that the next two Avengers movies are going to give me the closure I’m looking for. But I think I know where I can find it.  

As grieved as I am by the way Marvel handled this story, I’m also kind of amazed by the way its incompleteness is revealing to me the total, satisfying completeness of the gospel. Marvel can’t promise me that, at the end of time, the God of Stories will be reunited with his warring bride and live happily ever after in the presence of his inner circle. But the gospel does. And the hope that I find there is immeasurable.

[kendrixtermina]

WTF happened? A compilation of the Evidence so Far and an attempt at a Nuanced Take.

So, the allegations regarding Rammstein.

I’m going to have to talk about them, both because the band has been a part of my life for so long it’s a family running gag, and for my own damn peace of mind.

I first saw it in an internet news article a few days ago.

My first response was to try as best as I could to suspend judgement.

The last thing I want to do is have any irrational loyalty when its ‘my turn’ to listen to reality over any personal attachment I would have.

However, two things can be true at the same time:

a) A lot of abuse goes on in showbiz & victims are often not believed

b) Crazy stories get made up about people whom the media or politcal movements have listed as “enemy” – and that’s been the case for them a long time.

The media responses have been very black & white, with on the one hand the classic cancellation treatment of ending all contracts and basically un-personing them, and on the other hand you got reports of some unsavory fans running the classic ‘they’re just lying for attention’ script.

(Let’s get this one out of the way real fast: That has never once happened ever. No one just “makes shit up for attention”. At the same time, there’s no fandom that doesn’t have a loony fringe.

I’m also not going to insult your intellect with any variant of ‘why didn’t they come forward earlier’ or ‘if it really happened she would have done x’)

The band itself has put out a statement to ‘not harass or prejudge any of the plaintiffs’ and that they ‘have a right to state their view of things’

I would agree with that, at least.

This is not the trump/tate/kavenaugh esque cannet ‘I don’t know that woman’ or instant ‘DARVO defamation’ that you usually see & sounds more like the people I thought I knew, but on the other hand, what was repeated over all the tabloid articles looked like an open shut case. Supposedly there was roofies involved (which proves intent all in itself) and multiple accusers.

One person might make things up, but multiple people usually means it’s real, as it would be unrealistic for them to have coordinated.

So I decided that I was going to go digging through all the articles & posts etc. I could find to form my own opinion of WTF happened, if nothing else for closure. The articles said a lot of the same things, but they were vague. At least, I wanted the gory details.

I’m just going to record my findings so far mostly for my own peace of mind & emotional processing, and for anyone who might be wondering what to think.

I’m just going to go through various different data points in ascending order of severity & perceived credibility.

Keep in mind, this is not a finished opinion, I am really processing out loud, still letting things settle, and waiting for further revelations that could easily change everything.

I want as much as I can to remain open to any new evidence thatmight still pour in.

0. The Music

First let’s get the (albeit mostly irrelevant) elephant out of the way:

Yes, the songs/lyrics depict copious violence that is often sexual in nature, but it’s very much in an ‘fascination with the disturbing’ kind of way that grounds inself in a clear understanding that what’s depicted is, in fact, disturbing. It’s often told from the PoV of the perpetrator but if you analyze the lyrics with basic reading comprehension you’ll see that it’s self-aware about being carnography (that is the overlap between horror, gore and porn) – the perp’s twisted rationalizations will be lampshaded and hints at the victim’s pain strewn in.

It’s like ‘Lolita’ – it’s told from the crazy person’s PoV in their romantic fetishistic detail, but the author wants you to piece together what ‘actually’ happened and strews in hints.

That was supposedly the joy of it, that there was depht to find, interpret & analyze get this ‘delayed-action scare’ from.

It’s self-aware, which actual glorification isn’t – that sounds more like ‘bitch actually wanted it’ or ‘she was asking for it’ rather than ‘no one hears her cry’ or having the perp turn around a picture of Jesus so it doesn’t see his wicked deeds.

So it seems… incongruent, to me, that the person who wrote this doesn’t get that roofie-ing someone is bad.

As an artist myself I of course want to believe that a person’s true soul is reflected and immortalized in their art, but there’s nothing more dangerous than thinking oneself immune to deception, wouldn’t be the first hypocrite.

So I really did have a huge moment of thinking,… “Was it all a lie?” Did this art that I loved and was probably the biggest influence on my writing style just never really exist?

I’d certainly feel disapointed, humbled and betrayed, as if all the jeers of those who gave me the side eye for liking dark content had been confirmed.

Well, the truth doesn’t care what I think, it’s not about me, but the potential victims. So I am going to put all these feelings in a box.

But it’s worth noting that, despite the bombastic stage persona and having starred in hardcore sadomaso porn, Till was always described by everyone who knew him as a shy, polite and intelligent person in his personal life.

Wouldn’t be the first asshole whom everyone thought was “so nice”, but you can’t use the music as an argument for that.

1. The Parties.

That there were parties for potential groupies, I believe at once. It’s corroberated by many reports going years back and the part that everyone agrees on. You’d be stupid not to believe it. It does fit his impulsive, disinhibited character.

However, and I know some here are gonna have different values about this: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that so long as everyone involved was a consenting adult.

A lot of the so-called “dozens” of reports including kayla the youtuber were basically just people realizing it’s a sex thing & getting uncomfortable or offended about the very fact that it was a sex thing & that there were women willingly throwing themselves at Till.

I don#t doubt that they freaked out, got a fright and felt unsafe, but when you filter about the influence of their racing thoughts, uncomfy brain & ‘bad vibes’, most of these situations are pretty much nothingburgers. Full rooms with numerous witnesses were people were just drinking & having fun. Obviously you can’t bring phones to orgies, tat would jeopardize ppl’s privacy.

I’m not saying they were lying about feeling unsafe, but I think we can all think of examples for how feeling safe and being safe are two pairs of shoes.

There were many people who actually were at those parties posting on reddit or getting interviewed on youtube describing great consensual sex and/or just fun atmosphere so IDK how much of their perception of ‘weird atmosphere’ is just projection of their own discomfort.

I’m not saying this because I don’t want to see the truth, this has always been my opinion. I never got people investing great significance in age gaps once everyone is past the ‘adult’ threshold or generally flattening the whole spectrum of human interaction into simple flat power dynamics with an unassailablemaster & mind-controlled slave.

I’ve gone to sex parties; Heck, when I was 20 I got shitfaced & screwed a much older dude and I found both those experiences not only positive but healing.

It bothers me how the entire interiority choice & angency of willing participants is just erased and its just blanket declared that they can’t know what they want. So far, everyone I’ve heard of as being involved was an adult even if they were young, we’re not talking about children and it’s demeaning to act as if they were.

I’m not defending a rich old dude; I’ve little hope of ever being one. I’m defending myself, as someone who has been a young woman, and wound like to have the right to determine what my experiences mean & not have others tell me. I think if someone wants to take advantage of a chance to screw someone they view as extremly desirable and get a piece of some powerful guy using the limited resource of their attractiveness, they should get to. It’s practically animal instinct.

I don’t think inviting someone somewhere to possibly hit on them in harassment; It only becomes harassment if you don’t go away if they say no, or use threat/coersion.

He ‘picked’ the ones he’d actually be interested in but that would only have the sort of character the news are depicting it as if there was then coersion, not just an offer.

In the bulk of the reports he would hit on ppl but immediately accept it & back away if they said no, and the people who reported feeling uncomfortable all left with no problem without being pushed or forced to anything; Everyone was free to leave the ‘suckbox’ at any time.

That, of course,  is the next big question. Did any of that take place. Just because some had a great experience doesn’t mean others can’t have had awful ones.

2. The Shelby & Kayla Stories

So, here I am mostly dissapointed at the media.

There were multiple people on reddit, tumblr, youtube or newspaper (some showing their real life face, or having video of the event) who were on the same party in Vilnius. It’s not just one person claiming something but testimonies acting up

The vodka was opened before the eyes of all the guests and all of them drank from the same bottles

According to her friends, Shelby is on a SSRI medication that can interfere with alcohol & apparently the combination explains all the symptoms she had

She started drinking early & acted quite inebriated (probably due to the meds interference), at one point she bumped into the stage & ran into things – this probably explains the bruise

While there was some smashing of glasses, it was more of a ritual that was often done at  parties, like Till would start smashing his Vodka glass fter finishing it & everyone else would join in.

Shelby left early & wasn’t even there for the last of the party

Even she clearly stated that a) no one touched her b) Till respected it & moved on when she refused his advances c) she saw nothing being done to anyone else while she was there

Most likely conclusion: There was never any roofies, her meds are to blame.

I would presume she woke up the next day, only remembering fragments at first, and panicked. I can’t even blame her. It’s super common for ppl to mistakenly think they might have been spiked after having too much to drink.  

She isn’t ‘lying’, she merely jumped to conclusions, though she could have checked with her friends first before putting it on the internet, I can’t blame her for panicking under the circumstances.

Honestly it’s logical to assume it was the last guy who hit on her.

The is important insofar as it puts a different light on everything that follows when others saw her post & were asked about if anyone had similar experiences.

Ovsly ppl took this seriously & began re-evaluating experiences in the light of that possibility in a low-key mass panic.

This is especially relevant for the casus Kayla – Facebook posts show she had a “good time” at the concert despite noping out of the sex thing (before Till even arrived) but after that I suppose she began to worry if any of the other girls she saw might have been drugged.

3. The Italian Man Story

You know, the super gross one with the big bowl of ‘mysterious cocktails’ and the band members fighting over some girl.

It’s fiction on par with the ‘hilary clinton trafficking ring’.

It’s deliberately engineered to be schocking & trigger your emotions but when you think about it, it doesn’t add up logically. Even if everything else were done & they’re all guilty this probably still didn’t happen because, for starters, if multiple ambulances had been called, the fucking certainly wouldn’t have continued as the paramedics showed up. There would at least have been something about drunken people passing out at a concert.

Also the ‘bowl with mysterious cocktails personally prepared by Till’ looks like a plot hint in a book.

You can’t get accurate dosages by putting into into a bowl and a whole room was drugged at once they couldn’t have walked home.

Plus the ‘italian man’ is too busy presenting himself as a hero rather than describe himself being realistically shocked.

I’m surprised Spiegel printed this, though I suppose any claims are in the public interest.

4. The Anonymous Reports from the Reportage

Now comes the serious part however, because these I believe are 100% true, were compiled by serious journalists,  and probably happened exactly as described – they’re anonymous, so the women have nothing to gain. Plus, the reports sound like authentic memories in exciting or traumatic situations: The order may be jumbled but there are exact details down to what people were thinking or exact words that were said.

There is just no honest reason to assume otherwise.

That said, the snippets of them that were taken out into other articles/tablids were WAY out of context – with an important exception (which I will discuss as its own bullet point), most of the people questioned considered what took place a good experience at the time, told their friends of a ‘good time’, though some had their doubts or regrets later on when the discussions began or friends had different opinions on it.

The person that supposedly had vaginal bleeding actually had some condition that made vaginal intercourse harder but then they ended up doing it anyway apparently at her suggestion – Till is said to have asked several times if it’s ok.

In general there is talk/communication going on in these

While two people did speak of memory gaps or fragmented memories, it seems from the circumstances and the detailled way  things were described that it was just booze.

And it was not, as you might get from the out-of-context quote, some unconscious person being molested on a floor somewhere but rather there was back & forth talking like he was always asking “Is that ok”, “may I do this?” “Should we stop?” etc.

That’s not something you do if you don’t care about the other person, their consent or their enjoyment.

Even so, if the two ended up concluding later that they were probably too drunk & partially weren’t sure what was happening, the sex probably shouldn’t have happened.

He fucked up, no question.

Chances are he was intoxicated, too, but while I have said before that all this supposed ‘power imbalance’ alk doesn’t negate free will, I do think it creates a greater responsibility on his part to ensure their well-being and greater accountability.

Still this rather looks like he misjudged how drunk they were rather than deliberately taking advantage of an unconscious person, the latter is a misrepresentation by the media.

5. THAT one report

Then there is the unambiguous ‘nightmare story’ where there can be no doubt that the girl found it traumatic.

Apparently she clenched up (ostensibly vaginismus) and the whole sex was painful, which she was embarassed to say however, so she just waited for it to be over out of a mix of being stunned and not wanting to lose her one special chance with him.

I think we can all agree that this kind of thing should never happen.

She explicitly says she choose not to say anything, however. – which is NOT to say that its “her own fault” or that she “should have spoken up” but rather, though the damage is the same, there is a different between accident, negligence, manslaughter & murder, degrees of culpability.

In a legal sense it probably wouldn’t count as rape (that requires ‘visible refusal’) but it certainly wasn’t enthusiastic consent either. But this is kind of exactly why education is so important because besides fight & flight there ARE those fawn & freeze responses & if you’re not attentive enough you could  trigger your partner into ‘just putting up with it’ without meaning to /realizing. People don’t notice their gf’s saying nothing about painful sex all the time there were tons of articles about it not too long ago.

Whatever you want to label it she had a shitty, possibly damaging experience that could have been prevented, and that would have been his responsibility to avoid.

So no, he did not ‘do nothing wrong’ The onus was on him, especially as someone active in the BDSM scene he should know the important of safewords, commination & aftercare.

He fucked up, the whole enterprise should have been sanity checked because even if some vibed with it & had a good time, you just shouldn’t ever be triggering people’s fight-or-flight responses in a bedroom situation.  There shouldn’t even be a risk of that because if there is there might be people like this girl or the two too-drunk ones.

Ultimately, though, this is still night and day compared to the story going through the media right now with the roofies.

There’s a big difference from someone who thinks others wellbeing doesn’t matter than one who think it does but fucked up.

But ultimately this goes further than Till as a person. This isnt even really about him. 

It’s more like – no one wants this. I don’t think he wanted this. But how do we as a society deal with it?

Because I think it’s very important that those girls should be able to talk about their experiences. Feedback should be given and socuety should be percolated by an understanding that this is not ok.

At the same time, at present we only seem to have the options of exhonoration or ostracism – which creates an incentive to DARVO and victim-blame to avoid the total destruction of ostracism in a population that is usually low on scruples.

With cases like trump or tate, the issue is clear: Those don’t think they’re doing anything wrong eyond lipservice & will just keep doing it again & again; Complete ostracism, unpersoning & refusal to ever platform them again really is the only answer, there is no reflection, talking sense or expecting behavior changes from those.

But what about situations where you have someone who nominally believes in consent but fails to apply it & walks away thinking the situation was mutually enjoyable? IT’s kind of like the Melanie Martizez case. More ambiguous, really, because she was reported even by consenting partners to be rather pushy whereas here we have someone who ostensibly has a habit of asking ‘is this ok’ ‘may I do that’, ‘are you ok’ etc but did it a few times too few.

Someone who fucked up but didn’t want to. What do we do with these? Whenever anyone brings up the possibility of ‘misreading signals’ or something it’s told off as an excuse but it’s a genuine worry people have.

The closest conceot we have for that is maybe what you do if someone had a stronger reaction to or felt triggered by some BSDM thing & that needs to be talked out & corrected but in that case theres a more direct feedback loop…

One thing is clear: We can’t have situations where ppl feel triggered or unsafe or have bad experiences like this.

Apparently consequences have already been drawn and the parties things in cancelled forever anyways & everyone involved got a wakeup call. (as per Christoph’s recent post which more or less reflects similar conclusions to my analysis here – and I am still holding out on forming conclusions, really, but what I heard there at least sounds like the intelligent, differentiated people I thought I knew, though I’m not ready to remove that ‘thought’ yet )

I mean, the band themselves is lying in the bed they made but I’m feeling sorry for, well, the victims of course, but also loyal fans who may forgive what actually happened but everyone around them thinks the tabloid version took place. (which if it were true would have been burn-in-hell territory)

Sigh. The world is complicated and exhausting and human beings hurt each other so much all the time for stupid reasons and we can never ever have nice things.

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Week 7 Set A(25/12/23 -31/12/23)

Model Used is Tsonghan Wu

1.

Christmas week so don’t expect tooo much progress in these various area’s gang. I’ve not broken new PRs so there’s been a bit of a plateau and even some backsliding. I do have a plan to fix this however and it largely involves re-arranging my Daily schedule to put pushups earlier in the day before i’ve had my big evening training sesh.

2.

I’m opening up my competitive horizons once again to Smite. This feels like an appropriate JBS game because i can play as super muscular gods. So for the time being i’m gonna be sweaty as hell on Smite. Will i be good at this? Well i’ve been playing the game for almost 8 years and have never played in Ranked so your guess is as good as mine.

3.

The first pants down the chute. This is actually a more recent purchase and one that i actually liked. It was a part of my very first YoungLA drop. A pair of tapered track pants with a really nice dark green color and comfy material that actually fit in a decent way and didn’t hang off my  shrinking waist. BUT the lesson to be learned from this article and honestly most of them is about the level of care I show my clothing. When I got these I was washing my own clothes on a regular basis for the first time. And I didn't know about the washing instructions and didn’t care to do the basics. I was washing these in Hot water along with basically every other piece of clothing interchangeably, and then popping them in a super hot, super small tumble dryer for sometimes hours. The long and short of it is that these things are BUSTED and need to go. I’ve long since changed that mode of clothing maintenance and have seen a lot more success in the longevity of my drip because of it.

4.

No real opportunity to indulge in this properly but if you go to my sneakily linked and underappreciated twitter then you’ll get a taste.

5.

In episode 12 of the netflix baki one villainous character, Dorian, asks another vaguely less villainous character, Retsu what Strength is. Retsu responds that strength is “Enforcing my will on circumstances; getting what I want from any situation” And this is an atypical response from a piece of media, but it is actually very close to what the sociological definition of Power is. Most pieces of media will throw some spiel about overcoming obstacles or not compromising or perseverance. But I honestly agree with the Sociological-Retsu definition. There are many ways to be strong and to enforce your will and get what you want. But at the end of the day Strength must be an actively shown and enacted quality. It cannot simply be passive resistance. That is resilience which is also valuable. But resilience without strength is impotent.

6.

No new gymbros to report, but that’s okay. It’s weird tho, I went for Push day on Christmas in the hopes of finding a totally empty gym that I could just vibe and relax in while going heavy. But there were people there and like 2 or 3 different guys would not stop talking to me. Normally this would be fine but come on! On the one day i wanna just vibe and not interact that’s when they all bug me.

[montyterrible]

Born to Hench, Forced to “Boss!!”

I’m not a Minion hater exactly—no more so than I am, ambiently-like, of anything “mainstream” or “popular.” At the same time, I also don’t tend to engage with any media in a “lol so wacky I’m going INSANE from exposing myself to this!” sort of way either. When I really think about it, you could see the Minions as particularly cynical, like the Disney animal sidekick thing on steroids. They have a simple, pleasant design (emphasizing the body/head, deemphasizing the limbs and fine detail) with room for a smidgeon of individuality/visual flexibility using a satisfyingly limited number of features or elements like eyes, and which makes them more or less Engineered for Marketability as a toy or just plastered on one thing or another. There’s an enormous Minion (I think) sticker around here somewhere that a friend of mine gave me once when I was visiting him that he (I think) got from a cereal box as a “prize.” It’s my understanding that Minion memes were somewhat ubiquitous on Facebook at one point, though I can also easily imagine adults (namely parents) harboring a deep-seated hatred of these things.

Upon initially firing up Minions (2015) and hearing those eminently recognizable chattering voices “singing” the Universal Pictures theme, I thought my fears were going to be confirmed—that this was going to be a very annoying movie for me. I imagined being a parent in one room hearing that tell-tale sound for the umpteenth time coming from a TV in another, and what that might feel like. I didn’t end up following this “lol so wacky I’m going etc.” thread any further, though, because I actually found the Minions (and their movie) pretty easy to like!

On the one hand, yes, they are adorable: visually, but also in terms of personality and thanks to the ambiguity of their emotional and intellectual maturity. The Bob character, in particular, is very child-esque, but all of the Minions are vaguely characterized in this same way, and so it’s easy to feel drawn to them in their extremes of feeling, to want to nurture or at least pet them. “Part child, part dog” may be another intentional element of their design, meant to reach children and parents and childless adults all in some primal way. Ironically, the chattering wasn’t an annoyance, and I think it may actually have made the predictably goofy and usually physical humor I expected from the movie more palatable. Rather than an endless slog of “That was SO awesome!” or other “That just happened!”-adjacent running commentary on every precious goof, you instead get these intervals (sometimes surprisingly long for such a movie) where no coherent sentence is uttered. The Minions speak a winning mix of total gibberish and real language (English, Spanish, etc.), and I’ll be damned if there isn’t a certain… confidence to having that be the medium of communication, visuals aside, of bits and pieces of this movie.

On another hand, I find the very concept of a “Minion” kind of fascinating. The movie starts with an initially wordless sequence showing off Minion evolution—how from their most primitive, water-bound state they’ve always latched onto the largest and most dangerous other creatures without conflict, which is a compulsion that takes them onto the land and forward through history until they gravitate toward humans and then “supervillains” specifically. The Minions are apparently immortal(?) and so, critically, out-live their beloved masters, sometimes apparently killing them by accident. I know I’m late to the Minions party in this regard, but that’s just such a weird and compelling baseline concept. Minions being so “Assigned Henchman at Birth” while also potentially, actually being the superior animal just makes for an interesting hook.

While Minions has a recognizable-enough dramatic plot, I found it kind of oddly… “empowering” to watch. You don’t so much feel tension or stress about the scraps and scrapes the Minions get into, so much as you eagerly wait to see how they’ll easily overcome the inconvenience and defeat their enemies. I’m not joking when I say that the Minions have more in common with Alucard from the manga/anime Hellsing than they do with other protagonists in similar movies. They’re essentially “over-powered.” There are some great, fun bits of action or imagery here, though a favorite might be when the Minions’ boss-turned-enemy, Scarlet Overkill, tries to have them tortured, and this includes a bit where the Minions are gleefully slipping through and playing around with a noose. It’s fleetingly dark, perhaps surprisingly daring.

(Of course, the “3 edgy 5 you” take that I’ve even heard out in the real world about the Minions is “lol Did they work for Hitler? lol” And this movie makes clear that, no, they did not. After serving Napoleon, the Minions were in exile in an icy cave until 1968, thus avoiding the Harry Potter problem of mixing magical beings and the Holocaust.)

I was also just surprised at how twisty the plot of Minions is. I did not expect Bob to pull the mythical Sword from the Stone, or for the spurned, exploded Scarlet to return for one last attempt at the Queen of England’s crown when it felt like the movie was already over. I had a harder time thinking of really distinct swerves than I expected writing this up, but it’s all just kind of inherently Interesting. The way that this world pivots around professional villainy (even if only in secret circles) reminded me a little bit of The Venture Bros. This still isn’t evil evil—It’s easy enough to see the Minions as conventionally likeable if not exactly heroic and Scarlet Overkill as conventionally threatening and villainous, but it’s a fun enough, kid-friendly flirtation that at least sort of eschews predictable plotting.

There are some character designs that rely a bit on fatphobic imagery for their visual identity/comedy potential, but I think the most offensive thing about the movie is its treatment of The Queen, who cutesily throws down with the Minions when they attempt to steal her crown for Scarlet and who is hanging out at a pub arm wrestling after she’s dethroned. Her toothiness might qualify as gentle caricature, but I would have (cruel Leftist that I am) preferred a much meaner treatment. I mean, really, the Minions should be latching onto her, right? What with the whole legacy of colonialism and so forth? Her being a sort of apex thief and whatnot?

I jest—Obviously, that’s far too subversive and cerebral for such a Childish property! The Minions are instead drawn to the biggest cartoon of villainy, which means Scarlet at first but then ultimately a young Gru. Minions almost tells a standalone story using the critters but then has to wrap back around to Despicable Me, which means there’s a heavy Gru emphasis at the very end and during the little credits sequences. I would have preferred that it not do this (and also that Scarlet be an anthropomorphized wolf-woman for the entire movie and not just the “bedtime porry” scene), but I know this isn’t really For me, in the end, and have just accepted that with as good as a shrug. Which is how I’ve felt about the Minions as a property and/or marketing gimmick for years now.

[tamelee]

What are your thought about modern art? I know a lot of artists on the Internet absolutely hate modern art, and talk about it like it was the thing that was killing art in general.

Personally I don’t agree at all, I think contemporain art can bring very interesting concepts and experiments.

And usually the people I’ve seen criticizing contemporain art were the one who make an obsession about realism. Tbh I think realism is kinda overrated…

But I’m curious to hear about your opinion :D

Well, I don't think contemporary art equals a certain style anyway as it is made by people today. You see realism and abstract now as well as in our history (not photo-realism ofc.). The father of my mother (so my grandfather, but it feels weird to call him that as I never knew him) was a well-known painter here in the Netherlands and his art was very abstract with lots of colors and shapes. So what some refer to when they say 'modern' often in such discussions is mostly the more 'simple' styles where they criticize it and say "a child can make this" where the comeback is "but you didn't".. At times they refuse to call it art as it requires little to no skill. Where the actual skill doesn't really get the recognition anymore. That's when these concepts becomes experimental and it makes people talk. I guess AI in a way is part of that as well though still in a much lesser form, but a bigger issue.

If I put up a simple photo of a child depicted in a wooden box and said: "Look, isn't that great?!" You'd probably think I was out of my mind but if I told you that it was Chris Hadfield as a 9 y/o pretending the box was a space rocket because he had an ambition to become an astronaut and actually realized his dreams later- only then it becomes interesting. A picture itself doesn't always tell a story (it can) and in 'modern' art a lot of the time the same thing applies. Yes, like the taped up banana which earned the title; a piece of art.

Authenticity (as vague as that is) as told by Pine & Gilmore can actually be measured by something (a story or art etc-) being faithful to itself and/or whether it says what it is. (At least that's what we in general do when it comes to communication in business.) The banana obviously is just a banana and the creator of this absurdity said they were making fun of the person (multiple) spending 120k on a rotting banana and said they deserved to be scammed. Which fair, I don't necessarily agree with it, but in that sense, they're being true to the message. This is how you can measure most media and businesses because it almost always works. (It is a bit more complicated than this, but you get the idea.)

But here's the kicker, people, in this case 'artists' or people who call themselves one, idk, can give their creation whatever message they want despite the visuals. Though spending 120k on a rotting banana is most likely money laundering and the artist must know that as well.. so, to then say it's just 'funny critique' regarding art and capitalism and "believing" the buyer got scammed, changes the message a bit. Yes? How valuable is it then really?

Not all art has to have some deep value-driven meaning at all, but most 'modern' "art" pieces that require no skill need other ways to gain attention and do so by provoking the audience. Marcel Duchamp was called an artistic genius because he turned a urinal upside down.. a damn toilet.

How does that compare to an actual drawing where someone put their heart and soul into the making of it through perhaps even years of experience, where you can see the person has skill? Or the making of a sculpture? Even things like graphic/interior design? Have we realized what happened to photographers? If you want to talk about the toilet as 'a piece of art' or even a simplistic circle because to you ~somehow~ the meaning behind it changes the world, then bring it along to your TED-talk and actually talk about it. Become that storyteller. It is proven that through the PSE (picture superiority effect) visual elements leave a lot more impact on your audience compared to just text or speech and that you remember it better by 65%. But to replace masterpieces in art galleries and auction them off for thousands/millions worth that we know goes also into money laundering regardless and call it art? And there must be some sort of meaning.... I guess? Nah. I have no clue what 'killed art' specifically because I'm not too knowledgable on that topic, but if this is art, then why aren't we calling your average Tiktokker professional movie directors/actors etc? Why isn't your YT-short or Tiktok clip an actual short film instead? How about calling this "thought-provoking art" just a concept as you say? Or the jpg that I forgot to include in my powerpoint? Comedic relief? An idea? And yes ideas can be art, but not every idea is art. AI images are generated prompts, but certainly not art and their makers are prompters and definitely not artists. So I agree with you that it can be experimental or perhaps provoke interesting concepts, but depending on the... 'art' and its intention... we should call it as it is. That's what I think. Perhaps 'modern art' in that sense as a term is too broad to judge.

So when you say realism, do you mean hyper/photo-realism specifically? Or just realism in general? Because as an artist my own opinion is that I wouldn't want to draw photorealistically as it takes too much time and if people can't tell whether I actually used up all my time to draw it or took the photo, even used photo-bash.. then for me, I don't really see the point in putting in all the effort. But, it is an amazing way to learn how to draw though, that's how I started. Looking at photo's and replicating it. In my earlier art I tried to render it to the best of my abilities as I had no idea how to draw so I had to look at pictures and see how light falls, how colors blend, what skin does and how it reflects.. On Instagram I often got comments that it looked so real, like a photo. I didn't know what to think of that, because even though it is a compliment, it wasn't a photo, I actually drew it and so it almost feels like an insult somehow. Does that make sense? I now want to almost erase parts of what I've learned when it comes to things feeling 'real' and stylize my art better. That's not something you learn in photo's but by finding out a tiny thing you like and then doing that over and over again until the next tiny thing. And lemme tell you... that is hard. So, I don't think realism is overrated, I think stylized art, often recognizable from an artist is severely underrated.

[kittyprincessofcats]

Okay, I think I’m finally able to at least write a post about it: I’m seriously not okay after the latest RWBY episode.

[trigger warning for mentions of suicide, death, child death, animal death]

And I don’t mean this in a hyperbolic “oh no, the angst!” way, I mean I’m genuinely disturbed and upset and really angry at CRWBY for not putting a better trigger warning on that.

Like seriously, what kind of a lame warning is “might have distressing content” supposed to be? WHAT content, CRWBY? How is this supposed to help anyone decide whether to watch or not? It’s like one of those tumblr posts that put “[trigger warning]” at the top without specifying for what and it’s like... thanks, this is useless.

And it’s especially useless after the episode before had the exact same content warning and there the “upsetting content” ended up being some silly paper people. How the hell was anyone supposed to guess that the next episode with the exact same warning would have such an intense tone shift and so much genuinely disturbing stuff?

And I’m seeing Miles Luna warning people more explicitly on twitter, but like dude... y’all told us to stay off social media before these episodes, no one’s going to read that if you tweet it an hour before the release. Put it on the actual episode.

(And I don’t get it. For V8E14 they did so well with the Content Warning and putting the suicide hotline in the description! What changed to make their warnings so much more vague and useless now?)

I was visiting my sisters - who I hadn’t seen in months - over Easter and if I’d known what this episode was, how much it would upset me, heck if I’d had even a vague “Hey, this episode is genuinely really dark, that content warning is no joke this time” warning, I would have waited with watching until I was back home alone and could watch it alone, at my own pace, in small digestable pieces and where me breaking down about it wouldn’t be ruining any plans.

Instead I let my youngest sister talk me into watching it together (and because we’d spent the day doing other stuff I of course hadn’t checked any social media or seen any warnings), and voilà - the entire second day of my stay was completely ruined because of how down I was feeling. I won’t see my sisters again for another two months (maybe longer) and one of the TWO days I was supposed to have with them was spent lying in bed alone and feeling sad.

PUT TRIGGER WARNINGS ON STUFF FFS.

And to be clear here - what I’m upset about is Little. Everything else in this episode I can live with and enjoy even if it’s heavy, but that one is such a hard no for me that I can’t enjoy the rest. I have a whole thing about how I can’t handle children (or really young, vulnerable and sweet animal sidekicks, it seems) dying or getting hurt in media. That’s my one hard line when it comes to media. If a child dies in it, keep it away from me. (It’s why I was never able to get into The Hunger Games, for example.)

And yes, I know Little’s not dead for good, they’ll ascend - but that doesn’t change that it was extremely disturbing. And yes, I know it was thematically foreshadowed - Ruby had to lose the last bit of hope she still had - but I was still really hoping the writers wouldn’t go there (and definitely not in such a disturbing way, so suddenly and without warning).

And it’s a shame because the rest of the episode is so good! I could write a whole meta on that delicious Nuts and Dolts angst (and semi-confirmation?), which was exactly what I've been asking for for weeks. Not to mention how now that we’ve seen that people from Remnant can in fact ascend (contrary to what the cat previously said), it makes Penny being alive somewhere (and/or Penny being Little) way more likely again - normally I'd be eating all of this stuff up. But yeah, unfortunately I couldn’t really enjoy or appreciate the entire rest because what they did with Little took me out of it too much.

And I’m just really upset that it ruined my visit to my sisters.

[welcome-to-green-hills]

I forgot you like the science stuff ooooooooh okay and you mentioned mind uploading and I have a THOUGHT.

A HEADCANNON (kinda) because I like ti take pieces of canon and try to fit them all together.

And I'd love your thoughts.

In Sonic Brawl, Rouge says Shadow has Maria's soul. That is super vague, but we do know that Gerald was willing to go to any lengths to save Maria.

... Do you think a backup of her brain was created and 'downloaded' into Shadow?

(I have other thoughts in tandem with this but they're all mildly sad so I just want to ask the fun one💜)

Hello, my dear!❤️✨

I’m terribly sorry for taking so long on your ask. I wanted to make sure that my answer was reasonable, as well as supplied some knowledge to the character’s purpose of creation. Essentially, I wanted to make sure that I was thorough enough to share my thoughts. I’ve even shared this question with a couple of my colleagues at the lab to hear their thoughts too. This will be a pretty lengthy, but well-educated answer.

I absolutely agree, the journal entries from Sonic Battle are vague. I feel that they are purposefully meant to be vague so that the audience could make their own conclusions on what it means. Short answer: possibly, but I lean more towards “no.” Long and complicated answer can be found under the “read more” tab (because why not😅).

We just don’t know the extent of how extreme Gerald’s plans were with discovering immortality. We’ve seen in SA2, Sonic Battles, Sonic Rivals 2 and ShTH 2005 that Gerald has been known to tamper with very questionable forces in order to achieve immortality at the cost of risking everyone and everything around him. It’s desperation, yes. He care more about Maria than anything else. I think it’s just… really up for debate.

We have a couple of ideas that need to be addressed first in order for me to share my thoughts:

1). Brain uploading requirements, zettabytes

2). Psychology/Ethics and Moral Teachings

BRAIN UPLOADING REQUIREMENTS (ZETTABYTES):

The assumption that Gerald was crafty with uploading a consciousness into a computer is a process called “Whole Brain Emulation (WBE).” This is also referred to as a “mind transfer.” This is a process in which, presumably, has the ability to scan the state of our minds and transfer into a database whether it’s postmortem (deceased) or antemortem (living).

As of now, the process of uploading one’s consciousness into an artificial body or database is a pseudoscience. This means that it’s more of a fantasy sci-fi scenario other than supplying factual results. Whole Brain Emulation would have to take into consideration of scanning layers upon layers of one’s mind and convert them into various strands of code. The human brain is made up of neurons; the human mind has about 86 billion neurons (PNAS, 2012).

In order to even begin scanning the mind, we’d need an exorbitant amount of storage space that could store not even a handful of neurons. We’d need to take into consideration of zettabytes. The human mind itself can store about 1.1950 petabytes of data in a lifetime if it was used at its fullest capacity (Houzel, 2009). That’s roughly two zettabytes. That’s like finding the Pacific Ocean with water twice! Thankfully, we live in a world where we have access to zettabytes. Zettabytes are used to store large sums of data in servers for social media sites, like Tumblr and Twitter. Being able to store all of the data into a database seem plausible, but we still run into a couple of problems.

We would not be able to get a 100% accurate reflection of Maria. If anything, we’d only be able to replicate it via artificial intelligence. We would have to take into consideration of Maria’s mannerisms and wide variety of responses to the world around her.

PSYCHOLOGY/ETHICS AND MORAL TEACHINGS:

With all of the technological advancements made in human history, the capability of transferring organic consciousness into a mechanical device is nonexistent. We might be able to replicate states of consciousness, but we would have to teach AI and code human ethics and morals. In this case, we could make an attempt in replicating Maria’s consciousness to a certain extent. We don’t know a whole lot of Maria’s characteristics other than the fact that she mattered tremendously to both Shadow and Gerald.

The problem here would be that we’d lack a ration and irrational response of decision making of the individual. What we think that we might know of a person might be different from them being right then and there as they respond to the phenomenon. If anything, we wouldn’t have Maria’s internal thinking and logic. Everything that would be coded would not be Maria’s true thoughts, it would be an assumed thought of the AI and/or programmer.

There is no guarantee that the AI will possess every thought and feeling that Maria might have had when transferring her consciousness. In order to get that, we’d have to do extensive psychological research of Maria’s response to every situation in a controlled environment. This would have to be monitored 24/7. The Maria program would have to relearn everything about herself on top of learning culturally acceptable ethics and morals depending on the environment she was raised in.

If this is the case, then Shadow would have to be habilitated into having the same—or nearly the same—mannerisms that Maria would have had if having her consciousness uploaded into his mind. And if she were still a child, then that would take longer. A child is still in the process of knowing themselves and their identity. Because we would only have a secondary source of Maria’s characteristics, we would lack internal feelings of her growing up.

CLOSING STATEMENT:

It’s safer to assume that everything that Shadow has done in his life are his own thoughts and feelings. Shadow is meant to be perceived as his own person. I’m positive that his actions are influenced by Maria and his interactions with the world around him. Most, if not all, of his actions after learning the truth from SA2 are his own. I do not believe that Maria had her consciousness uploaded into Shadow’s mind, but it is a possibility that Gerald thought about it. The problem here is that we might never know. All that we know is that Gerald would have done nearly anything, even using government funding, to save Maria (Windii, 2018).

Most of my thoughts and feelings are told through the perspective of human interactions. We don’t know enough of Shadow’s physiology in order to make a true comparison. Until we learn more about Gerald and Maria’s characteristics, I think that it’s safe to say that this is more of a hypothetical scenario that needs more information.

I hope this answers your question, my dear!❤️✨

SOURCES:

PNAS, 2012: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1201895109

Houzel, 2009: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2776484/

Ted-ED, 2023: https://youtu.be/2DWnvx1NYUA

Windii, 2018: http://info.sonicretro.org/Sonic_Adventure_2_-_The_Truth_of_50_Years_Ago...

Here’s a great text from the National Institute of Health made that talks about neurogenics: https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/public-education/brain-basics/brain-basics-life-and-death-neuron

[pyroexcape]

I already commented on the post but

"#bc they are my own and not canon. and i don’t want people to think i’m wildly misunderstanding the character#bc i more than understand and am also invested in the boundaries of canon. but i also like doing what i want#and deconstructing and reconstructing narrative and characterization#and i feel like people won’t know that but i also feel so silly putting a disclaimer over everything i draw of being like#‘oh this is my own thing actually’ LOL"

I relate to that so hard with soooo many of my stories. Like I brought up my own version of The Boys™ but genuinely I feel this with so many of my interests. Like, Undertale most of them because it genuinely has a super deep complex story a lot of people tend to misunderstand or not care about or not get the themes, and I love talking about The Themes and How Cool The Game Is and Common Misconceptions

Then I make a fanfiction that's like. Nothing like canon even a little bit. Genuine it is sometimes the fucking opposite of the Point Of The Game and like if someone ever pointed that out to me I would shake them and go I KNOW I KNOW I CARE ABOUT IT WAY MORE THAN YOU DO LET ME EXPLAIN IN DETAIL JUST DON'T INSULT ME OVER IT I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

YEAA U GET IT HAHA! i don’t feel that way about every series bc i like to think im pretty decent with Media Literacy and like to respect authors wishes whatnot but like.. in particular stuff that’s both extremely oversaturated to the public and/or purposefully vague enough in either character or plot so it has room for exploration (like pokemon and undertale) by its Very Nature people are gonna take it and run with it! that’s why so many of those undertale aus got crazy popular, people just like pondering the “what ifs” and i think that’s wonderful. on the other side i know how frustrating as it is to see people obviously misunderstand smth in a piece of work you hold dear but in the end i don’t think it’s very productive to be mad about esp if you don’t have Ownership over that work. for better or for worse putting things out there for an audience people will always engage with it differently and it’s fine tbh. in the end if u aren’t hurting anyone then who cares!

ON A SIDE NOTE thank u for the extremely nice tags and comments 😭😭 it’s smth that i get so easily self conscious about even if i know it doesn’t really matter but its always so kind to hear that you enjoy my stuff and can relate to my plights haha

[shizuostrans]

Hey there~

Do you have a HC about Shizuos favourite pieces of media, be it a movie a series or a book (or all three) ?

YESYESYES!! I have a bunch of hcs about his favorite kinds of media, but my awareness of Japanese media is limited so I’m just gonna be a little... vague on exact titles outside anime.

I hc Shizuo being aggravatingly picky about movies and shows. Words have meaning and movies and shows are frequently filled with redundant dialogue to him mixed with too much other bullshit to keep track of. Except for Kasuka’s movies which it then becomes a feature. <3

He likes movies and series where the settings are more fantastical, more romantic, with characters he can relate to. I agree with @kasururigoth about him liking Ghibli films, particularly Princess Mononoke and Howl’s Moving Castle. He sees a lot of himself in San, and while he initially is annoyed by Howl, he comes to understand him the more he watches and was absolutely suckered in by Sophie kissing him at his most monstrous (rip shizuo i know you would’ve loved the shape of water). He's drawn to Miyazaki films in general because peace is a core message in nearly every Ghibli film and he appreciates that.

For similar reasons, I think Rurouni Kenshin is his favorite anime and he looked up to Kenshin as a role model as a kid. Before Traugott I guess. I doubt Shizuo had many role models that weren’t scared of him growing up lol

I actually think he’s less picky about books. They’re much cheaper to replace if he gets carried away, and he can avoid getting carried away by picking up and pausing where he’s reading more easily than with movies or shows. They’re also easier to process all at once, he doesn’t have to analyze the score or cinematography or the actor’s performance because the information is all laid-out for him. He usually doesn’t seek them out, but if his friends or Kasuka recommend something he’s much more willing to check them out.

His favorite genre of fiction is honkaku mystery and he has SO MANY opinions on it. He’s usually more of a I-like-what-I-like kind of guy, but since I hc detective novels being the only books he actively sought out from childhood, he’s developed a sense for the common themes within the genre. Avid hater of Sherlock Holmes and with good reason, his deductions don’t make any logical sense (they really don’t) and it pisses him off when he always magically pulls them out of his ass at the end. His favorite writer is Ranpo Edogawa and his titular character Kogoro Akechi was his inspiration to want to become a detective. He also has a complex that Izaya is his Endo Heikichi, but he doesn’t verbalize it.

His fave mystery anime/manga is Monster, and he has a weird admiration/crush on Tenma. Another one he loves and continues to catch up on Ghost Hunt, but he’s incredibly secretive about it and asks Celty to transport the volumes for him because it’s a shoujo series he used to read back when his mom was still buying him shoujo magazines.

Bonus Shizaya (kinda) hc:

I hc that Shinra, Shizuo, and Izaya are all attracted to the mystery genre because they like unraveling them. Shinra is very outspoken about the books he likes and will bring them up to Shizuo and Izaya both with an impromptu infodump. If he’s talking to Izaya (listening, asking questions about the content of the book) and it sounds interesting enough, Izaya will give it a shot. If he’s talking to Shizuo (half-listening, asking if it’s available at the bookstore on his way home from work/school) and it’s under 600 yen, Shizuo will give it a shot. Occasionally they’ll both be reading the same book and when Shinra asks about their thoughts afterwards, one of them will talk about about how they figured it out from a certain part of the book and Shinra lets them know that “hey, Shizuo/Izaya came up with the same deduction!” and kills the conversation in its tracks.

[seeyouafter]

SYA Extended Notes Ch. 5

Excerpt from "See You After" Chapter 5: June 2: Todoroki to Bakugou

There was a little girl there. I think she’s about Eri’s age. Her parents were at work so a nurse was looking after her. They were feeding the koi and asked if I wanted to join them[...] She seems really smart. Kind of reminded me of you, but I think that’s mostly because she said my hair was funny and called me a peppermint.

References in this chapter:

Koi

Image from Unsplash | source for koi facts in this chapter

I don't remember what inspired this bit originally. I think I just wanted to give Shouto a quiet moment that he could write to Katsuki about and while I was writing the draft the little girl and the koi fish just showed up on the page. (I think Shouto awkwardly but lovingly interacting with kids is super cute and we need more of it.)

藤谷病院 (Fujitani Hospital)

Obviously, I'm inventing my own facts about the hospital for the sake of this story but I didn't want to invent a whole new hospital and I like the idea of Shouto being able to spend time with his mom while he's recovering. There are other things that went into the thought process but those are the main reasons.

Legend of Korra reference

I'm not sure how this scene from Legend of Korra popped into my head while I was writing this fic because it's been years since I last watched it but the sentiment of this particular scene really fit what I was going for in Shouto's letters in the beginning of this arc.

Shouto's current struggle with his quirk is somewhat similar to Korra's inability to enter the Avatar State and in both cases they isolate themselves from their friends but eventually reach out to one person who will end up becoming their romantic partner.

This is what it turned into in "See You After"

Please don’t tell the others. I’m pretty sure Aizawa Sensei told them I’m okay but I’m not really in the mood for visitors and I don’t want to hurt their feelings if they find out I’ve only been writing to you and not them.  -Shouto to Katsuki

The reality is, when you're hurting so badly, it's hard to reach out to people even if you know that they care. But sometimes, if you're lucky, there will be one person you feel like you can talk to.

(That doesn't mean the responsibility is all on that one person, of course.)

BNHA Canon references

Writing fanfic for a piece of media while said media is ongoing and is in the middle of an exciting time is a Journey™.

(For context, I'm posting this right after Ch. 404 was released. Further thoughts with spoilers below the cut)

I think I said this before but nothing in the plot of "See You After" has actually changed based on the recent manga chapters.

The only edit to this letter that I made after chapter 404 came out was that one sentence about Katsuki saving All Might. The previous draft had a vague thing about him saving Izuku and continuing to fight because I was trying to hedge my bets since I'm still trying to keep things as close to canon as possible.

I was originally on the fence about giving explicit spoilers but then THAT happened and I couldn't not include it because they definitely would have talked about it.

I also wanted to reference, Shouto's scene in Ch. 390 where he finally makes it to Touya and realizes that the whole family is there.

His words were fitting for his character and yet so heartbreaking because even after everything he did, after the burden that was placed on his shoulders, he still makes a point of saying that he couldn't have done it alone.

Also, it sounds an awful lot like Touya's words back in Ch. 351 when he accused Shouto of depending on everyone else (as if that's a weakness rather than a strength)

[silvery-bluish]

Unusual Muse Associations, BG3 Version

Tagged by @rosaindomitus!! I've been kinda in a Haze of work + BG3 + life stuff recently so I'm *really* not sure who's done this and who hasn't so-- if you see this and you haven't done this recently and want to, consider yourself tagged!

Polaris - Ris

SEASONING: Orange zest

WEATHER: Clear skies, cool breeze.

COLOUR: Purple purple so much purple you wouldn't believe how purple they are. Dark grey. Silver accents. Light blue and red.

SKY: Red sky at night sailor’s delight!!

MAGICAL POWER: Special effects for Emphasis (they use thaumaturgy constantly with no prompting)

PLANT: Wisteria

WEAPON: A rapier. Their magic.

SUBJECT: Knotwork. Music and art.

SOCIAL MEDIA: Vaguely based on vibes alone. Probably instagram.

MAKEUP PRODUCT: Silver metallic eyeliner

CANDY: Candied orange peel. Dried fruit, specifically dried pineapple.

FEAR: Being deceived by someone they trust. Being lost.

ICE CUBE SHAPE: those novelty dice-shaped ones

METHOD OF LONG-DISTANCE TRAVEL: Sailing ship!! Please put them back on a boat. Please. Failing that, they'd been doing a lot of wagon-based travel prior to the whole Abduction Thing and that was alright. Not as nice as boat travel.

ART STYLE: Impressionism. Or, alternately, this style of Edward Moran paintings because I’m kind of obsessed with how the light looks in it. I don’t know the name of the painting because I foolishly took this phone picture at an art museum several years ago and didn’t write down the artist or the painting name. I’m only sort of sure it’s even by Edward Moran.

MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: Swan maiden. Except, perhaps, an albatross instead.

PIECE OF STATIONERY: Silver sharpie. One of those black dry erase boards. Possibly in combination.

THREE EMOJIS: 🌟💜📢

CELESTIAL BODY: Well. Even if it's a bit of an anachronism. I think we know the answer to this one. (Polaris, the (our) north star)