#so then i was speculating that they were closeted but like…… closeted with a husband?? you literally didn’t have to marry him

[fingertipsmp3]

Had an absolutely wild dream last night

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

My Two Cents On The “ Is David Tennant Queer” Drama

As some of you know, I spent a solid third of the past year working on a movie-length video essay about David Tennant. This video essay features an eight minute section titled “Gender, Vulnerability, and Why David Tennant Is A Queer Icon”, which does not speculate on David’s own sexuality, but discusses the queer coding and subversion of gender norms in plenty of his roles and his importance as an ally to the LGBT community. At the same time, I was also coming to terms with my own identity as nonbinary and bisexual, and it ended up playing a crucial role in me finally working up the courage to come out to my parents. Characters like Crowley and the Doctor, both in terms of how they present themselves and how and who they love, have been absolutely instrumental in me developing my queer identity, and my comments section was full of people who had had similar experiences, who’d realized they were trans, nonbinary, gay, etc thanks to David and his characters. And as a result, I won’t deny that if David himself were to be queer, it would mean a lot to me.

Do I think David is queer? It’s certainly possible. I see a lot of how I express my queerness in how david chooses to express himself, most prominently through his frequent queer coding of characters who don’t necessarily have to be played as such. This can especially be seen through his Shakespeare characters, such as Richard, Hamlet, and some would argue Benedick as well. When I was 15 I played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, who I chose to play as a closeted young gay man harboring an unrequited crush on Romeo. I think I saw this role subconsciously as an outlet for my own repressed queerness, both of gender and sexuality, as I had experienced an unrequited crush on my female best friend the previous year which I was still in denial about. I’ve described my gender identity as “a girl with a chaotic tortured gay man inside of her that needs to be let out every once in a while”, which has never been more true than with Mercutio- a character who I might add, I took a great deal of inspiration from David when playing! In terms of using roles as an outlet for one’s queerness, I could absolutelt see this being true with David, especially when it comes to Crowley, who seems to have had an impact on David’s style, behavior, etc in a rather similar way to how he’s impacted me. I don’t want to act like David wearing pink docs means he must be gay, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever they want regardless of sexuality, but taken in conjunction with so many other things about him, it does make one wonder, and the fact that a seemingly straight man has been so many people’s queer awakening is a bit puzzling to say the least. I won’t pretend that these “signs” (if you interpret them that way), haven’t been increasing somewhat in the past year, and if I got to share my own coming out journey with the man who inspired it, I would be absolutely thrilled. I also can’t specifically think of an instance where David has SAID he is straight, as opposed to Taylor swift, who has.

With all of that said, where I personally draw the line is when mere speculation crosses into interfering with the subject’s personal relationships and the sense that one is OWED something. I believe that what matters to David more than anything is being a husband and a father. I believe he adores Georgia and his children and would not do anything in the world that he believes would jeopardize his family. As happy as I would be for David if he were to come out (probably as bi) I realize that that would put so much unwanted attention on his marriage and family and I think that’s the last thing he wants. I don’t think it’s IMPOSSIBLE that he and Michael Sheen are having a passionate love affair behind everyone’s backs, but I absolutely don’t consider it my place to insist that they are, because as much as I may feel like I do, I don’t know these people! And besides, if David were cheating on Georgia, he really would not be the person I thought he was.

So many queer people see themselves in David and his characters, and that is beautiful. And I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having theories that David might be queer himself. However, it must be acknowledged that these theories are THEORIES, and they should not be used to invalidate people’s real life relationships- after all, it’s totally possible to be bi/pan and also be in a loving and healthy heterosexual relationship like David and Georgia at least seem to be in! If David were in fact “one of us”, I would welcome him with the openest of open arms, but unless and until he himself decides to proclaim himself that way, I will not expect anything of him other than to be the incredible artist and person we know and love.

[elatedandexasperated]

So RWRB was a movie with some discourse...

In all honesty, the discourse has bugged me more than any issues with the film itself. I get a film adaptation not living up to personal expectations set by a book is... a response that people have, but the fact some people have been trying to convince people it's not worth watching bothers me.

Don't get me wrong, I've seen all of the love for it too and I know the antis for the film are definitely in the minority. No one can control how anyone relates or who is allowed to enjoy a piece of media, but the sheer hatred I've seen from some of the people on here for the film hurts a bit to see. The arguments seem to be no deeper than "x character was removed" , "there's these plot holes" and "it's too formulaic" that last one of which I feel was kind of the point: it's a formulaic romcom so that queer people can have a fairy tale romance story like the straight ones that get shoved down our throats from a young age by companies like Disney. McQuiston, an NB writer, has gone on record stating that a huge reason why they write is to feature queer identities and make stories that people like them would have liked to read and feel represented by when they were younger.

If this was a straight Hallmark romcom (which tbf, it basically is in terms of story structure, and I low-key love it because of that) it wouldn't have made so much as a blip on most people's radars. But because it features queer characters the threshold for scrutiny seems to have been dropped to the floor (insert "Get Low" joke here). I can get having criticisms of the film, I have a few myself, but the attempt to convince people the film is bad and to disregard it as a whole because of them ignores the positive qualities, what the film means to people in the queer community, what its success can lead to in terms of representation for underrepresented people in the community (Ace, bi, NB, trans, etc.), and an understanding of intricacies that go into adaptation.

At the end of the day, this film was competently made (and in my opinion, well made) by a gay director with an inclusive team and a deep care for both the source material and an understanding of what the film would mean for millions of viewers. It featured experiences and themes that are common to many people in the community with several very poignant messages that actually have huge metatextual implications with the film (The "forced conformity of the closet" quote sticks out in particular to me: the number of op-eds speculating Nick and Taylor's sexualities and how they've been mum about them makes me think a lot of people missed that one; also looking at you, people that forced Kit Connor out of the closet 😒)

The film is a celebration of love featuring characters that people like me and others in the community can relate to. Is it formulaic? Yes. Did they remove some characters to try and create a tighter narrative focused on the main romantic pair? Yes. Is it overly cheesy and so unrealistically sweet that it will give me diabetes? Delightfully so.

So ending on a positive note, I just want to run down some things I've loved about it:

- An mlm story with an actual happy ending that features adult main leads! (Credit to youth stories, they're important, but as an adult it's hard to relate to teenage characters sometimes)

- The charisma both TZP and NG just radiate throughout the movie

- Sarah Shahi eating the absolute SHIT out of every scene she's in (Touch her and die)

- Same for Rachel Hilson

- Uma Thurman and Stephen Fry (enough said)

- The acting overall was fantastic

- The care and work put into intimate scenes and inclusion of an intimacy coordinator

- On a personal level, I loved seeing parallels between Alex and Henry's relationship and the relationship I have with my husband. For the first time in my 30 years I actually see a little of myself in an uplifting and happy piece of media and not portrayed as a dramatic tragedy, villain, or inconsequential background character.

Tl;Dr if you didn't like the movie, that's your opinion. I'm not here to try and convince you otherwise. But please stop trying to convince people it shouldn't be watched. Regardless of your opinion, this film means a lot to a lot of people, including the author of the original book! Just let us enjoy this imperfect, but tasty cheese with our w(h)ine ❤️

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The thing with that NYT article that astounds me is that if Taylor (or whoever the subject was) were closeted, what did the author think they would accomplish by outing her or any other public figure in the same position? It reeks of sensationalism and tabloid journalism, and the author of all people would have to know that anything published in the US’s newspaper of record would carry weight that gossip blogs wouldn’t. They can’t hide behind a “it’s just hypothetical!”, even in an Op-Ed, the way tumblruser1389 could around here.

And that’s the real danger here. I’m sure on a personal level it’s deeply hurtful to Taylor because it’s yet another instance in which she is being treated like an avatar and not a human being. (And it’s so unfortunate that it involved a community that does face hardship and discrimination and would benefit from more representation and acceptance at that level.) But on a larger scale, the real issue imo is that the piece gives permission to the chronically online and mainstream readers alike to speculate and publicly out people. Except many of those speculated on probably don’t have the security of someone on Taylor’s level and not only is it reprehensible to force people to do so, it could have real life consequences that could pose actual danger to their personal and professional lives. If the New York Times can do it, why shouldn’t I? It’s dehumanizing.

Yes, it’s sad that it’s 2024 and coming out is still a big deal; in an ideal world, people could love who they love and identify how they want and no one would bat an eye, but that still isn’t the case and I understand why some look for representation from public figures to make them feel seen. But, until that person says so, you can’t assume they are something they’re not. It’s deeply hurtful to them and the community you want them to represent, and it perpetuates the same kind of trauma. Because it sends a signal that there is a gotcha and someone will force you to do something before you’re ready or willing.

As many have discussed here recently, it’s one thing to interpret Taylor’s work through a queer lens. That’s literary analysis! That’s what art is for! And it’s a beautiful thing to be able to interpret a piece of work and relate to something in your own life! But interpreting is not assigning. It’s one thing to say, “‘Ivy’ sounds like it’s a wlw affair,” and write an essay about it — and for all we know, maybe that’s what Taylor imagined when she wrote it. That’s a totally valid interpretation and offers an interesting perspective. But that doesn’t mean that was Taylor’s lived experience. (Just like she may have imagined murdering her best friend’s husband but that doesn’t mean she’s actually done it.) Just because Taylor often writes diaristic music doesn’t mean all of it is, and doesn’t mean she can’t take diaristic elements (eg feelings of hurt, loss, envy, infidelity, etc.) and apply it to other stories. That’s what artists do. For someone in one of the world’s most influential newspapers to claim interpretation as fact and create their own narrative about an actual human being living in the real world is hurtful, along with being just plain lazy journalism. (I know as an opinion piece it’s not strictly journalism, but the NYT is and should have known better.)

I don’t really have a coherent way of tying this all up, but it’s just so annoying that it’s 2024 and we’re still having this discourse.

[alarrytale]

Whoever is advising tzp to stay in the closet and hide his same sex relationship for fame is a fucking idiot. It’s really off putting to see him doing this when everyone knows the truth. Especially after being in a lgbt film. It’s just bad bad advice. I love him but him going along with that is gross. I’m a thousand percent sure he’d actually gain even more fans if he just came out. And I don’t even mean he should make a statement or anything, I just mean being more honest and authentic and his true self instead of acting like his husband doesn’t exist. These photo dumps like “survived september w help from my friends” knowing that they were together at joeys wedding in Mexico but not including that man in the post made me so damn sad. It’s just stupid.

Adding to my other ask, the fact that his partner didn’t even show up to his first red carpet event to accept an award is pretty fucked up. I would venture to guess that was to avoid public speculation. So he’s basically selling out. He’s doing big things in his career yet the person who supported him to get to this place in life is not even allowed to be there to see his success. I highly doubt he had somewhere more important to be. Sorry it makes me mad lol I can’t help it

Hi, anon!

Closeting can be maddening so it's okay to be mad about it! It's his choice though, but i bet he's adviced to do it by his agency. I don't know if he'd be out if he wasn't married? To me it looks like he's being his gay ass self, dragging his husband to most events and hiding him in plain sight, while just not talking about his sexuality or husband. You can call it closeting and he can say he's being private. Maybe he'd be out if he wasn't married. If they are going for a rwrb sequel being married would maybe dampen excitement for the fans. Being out and being single wouldn't. So maybe it's the married part and not the being gay part that's the issue here.

We also don't know that Garrett weren't there. If he weren't there maybe he couldn’t go so he brought his family instead? We don’t know. He's been to literally every event with him. I don't think anyone is expecting Garrett to follow tzp everywhere he goes. To me it doesn’t seem like they are hiding much? Maybe tzp is actually just waiting for someone to ask him about it? Maybe Garrett don't want the attention on him? Who knows.

[meanwhileinstasiville]

Some years ago, my friend's dad grew a healthy beard that he was *really* proud of

And you know what, his sister got him a *very expensive* shaving kit with stropped straight razor as from a barber shop; because he was so very *proud of his beard*

To be taken a couple different ways.

(As I was shaving, I was thinking about how people that were supposed to look like me would show up along the way back here)

Whatever I’m supposed to “D&D” encounter at the section markers of my walk route, so near as my old boss’s family can tell. And this a real thing because my workplace used to be used as a skinner’s box of conway game of life cells.(Is the burly beardy guy who sauntered through planning to beat someone to death?) So, what I was about to say...where are these people (including the FBI) getting their information from? For real. A beautiful looking at-a-distance woman was marched around the pickleball courts I was watching at maximum distance; maybe *that’s* the thing. You have no control. You have a hypothesis, if you could even call it that, from a place where people *can’t* disagree with you.

My dad spoke like a black person. My cousin is reminiscent of my dad when drunk. My cousin *is* a black person. Else, my cousin’s hair is curly and that makes him hassidic. (this is a *real* line of argument a cartel used)

And there has to be some kind of a verification for Chernobyl disaster avoidance; where more of the problem is the solution to the problem. QED, whatever suits your fancy (as an organization) leads to whatever you couldn’t care less about, because you don’t care about what you aren’t invested in.

DPRK soldiers wear olive green uniforms. Lee is the more common Korean name known outside of Korea. Civilians wearing olive green are a Lee army. What a disaster. Whatever is supposed to connote authority, will soon require the presence of olive green, muddling the message about where the DPRK belongs in Ashland. Or what KCNA is when it *isn’t* a radio station.

Edit: And my uncle who fought in the cold war in Jason Borne style, couldn’t say that enough, that “You have to have a control”. Hypothesis from speculation based on conjecture. Almost global thermonuclear war because of it.

And the beardy guys getting between me and things more and more often can *equally* be taken a number of different ways. Are they Sikhs? Muslims? Are they the husbands of lesbian women? Armored closet homosexuals holding things for ransom without making demands?  

[blkchxrryblyss]

You Don’t See What I See

izuku x blk fem!reader

w.c - 2.7k

warnings - strong language

based off of this request I received.

•••••

“What is your problem?” you questioned your husband standing in front of him.

“Get out of my way, Y/N,” you stood your ground and blocked the doorway. The freckled-faced man rolled his eyes and roughly shoulder-bumped you to get in the room, “Izuku what the fuck is going on? What did I do?”

“You always let your friends push up on you like that?” He snapped, roughly taking off his button-down leaving him shirtless and wearing only his slacks.

You were utterly confused about what he was referring to. You both were around all your friends tonight at the gala. It was a lot of hugging and catching up, but you didn't see where anything went wrong. Then you remembered Shindo, your friend that used to have a crush on you but ended up getting married and losing those feelings.

“ Are you talking about Shindo? The very married Yo Shindo? He was not pushing up on me." you scoffed.

“Yes, he was. Married or not, he was flirting with you." He said matter of factly.

“Oooh, I see-” you smiled while wrapping your arms around his strong torso, “-you're jealous, love."

The reaction you received was not what you expected. Shaking his head in a disappointed manner, he removed your arms from around him making his way inside the closet while you sat on the bed.

“Y/N, I'm not joking around. This is not one of those jealousy games. I'm really pissed off. What makes me even more pissed off is that you’re acting like you don't notice."

You can tell by his cold voice and how he's roughly handling his nightclothes that he's really mad at you. Izuku doesn't get mad at you often, dare you to say, never. Always very patient and willing to communicate whereas you were more hard-headed and stubborn. How you guys barely had arguments, you'll never know. But tonight was different. Your husband was dead set on this topic and his patience was running thin.

He watched the way Shindo was flirting with you, sneaking small touches, and throwing slick innuendos. And you took them like it was just a regular day. It pissed him off but it also hurt him deeply and had him thinking that you were doing more things with him. Because let’s face it, being married has never stopped anyone from stepping out on their partner before. Izuku trusted you with his life, but after seeing what happened tonight, he was starting to have his inkling of doubts when it came to your actions. At first, he was scared to even ask you, but your reaction to his feelings infuriated him.

“Look Izuku, I just think you’re looking too hard into this. Shindo does not see me like that. He’s fucking married for christ’s sake.” You tried to reassure him so he can get off this dreadful, tiresome topic but low and behold he proceeded to keep going.

“Have you always been this fucking dense?” He cursed, turning around to face you.

He let the words fly out of his mouth. If it was any other time, he would immediately regret his words, but being blinded by pure anger he didn’t care how he came off as long as he got his point across. You looked at him in disbelief because he always avoided cursing at you or raising his voice. He’s doing both tonight.

“Wh-wha-“ He leaned against the doorway, putting a hand up interrupting you.

“No, I’m genuinely asking because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he’s clearly fucking flirting with you. Why are you ignoring it?” He speculated in a very accusatory tone looking you right in your eyes.

“Why are you talking to me like that?” You questioned utterly appalled. You didn’t understand what he was getting towards with his statements, but it was starting to scare you.

He shook his head, running his hands up his face towards his hair to push it back. He began to pace back and forth, contemplating if he should ask you the question that’s been lingering on his mind. Finally stopping in front of the vanity, he dropped his head in his forearms and sighed shakily.

“Izu-“

“Are you cheating on me?” He croaked out. You abruptly stood up, stomping over to the vanity.

“ How dare you accuse me of that?! You know I would never hurt you like that-” you cried out, but all he did was shake his head. He lifted his head up and you take notice of his red tearful eyes, “-Izu, I wouldn't do that shit to you."

He glared at you, scoffing as if you were telling a lie, “Yeah? Well, my wife is doing a pretty shit job reassuring me of that."

“Izuku, god! He doesn't see me that way! And I’m doing a shit job? I have been a great wife, so why are you asking-“

“ I'm asking this because you don't see what I see! You see a friend and I see a cheating son of a bitch trying to steal my wife and she's letting him-“ your husband's voice was cracking and all you could was gawk at him, “In my eyes when I see someone, very noticeably, flirting with someone else and they're letting it happen, practically enabling it, that's entertaining. And if they’re entertaining it in my face, then they’re doing it behind my back.”

With that, he began to pack some things up in a gym bag in a rushed manner. Your heart was beating out of your chest at his actions. He was leaving. He was leaving because you hurt him unintentionally. You didn't listen to him, so now he's going to show you. He was walking towards the door but you quickly blocked making him look down at you. Your expression was hard but your eyes were sad.

“ Y-you are not leaving. We need to talk about this.” you declared. You didn't want him to leave, especially being this angry.

“Get out of my way my way, please.” his grip on the gym bag was tight, giving signs that his patience was gone. Of course, though, you were stubborn.

“No, Izu-“

“Y/N, get the fuck out of my way. Now,” The harsh coldness of his voice made you whimper and slowly move out of his way, “Thank you.”

He didn't want to talk to you like that but if he stayed in this house any longer he knows everything is going to go to shit.

“I-Izuku, where are you going?” Your voice was shaky and your emotions were all over the place. Watching him leave spiked your anxiety to an all-time high.

“To go think. Don't call me.” With that, he slammed the door behind him, hard enough that the house rattled.

You sank to the floor, tears running down your face, thinking about how everything went so wrong. Your stubbornness went too for this time. You hurt the one man that truly loved you from the moon and back. A man that would give the world. All of this over your lack of awareness of the crush your friend had on you. So you sulked thinking about how you’re gonna make this right.

Izuku walked the dark streets for about 20 minutes before he walked up to the house that he set his mind to. He knew they would be a bit irritated that he was here so late but he needed to talk to someone that wouldn’t sugarcoat anything. He knocked and waited for a total of 2 minutes before the door was snatched open being met with red tired eyes.

“What the hell are you doing here this fucking late, shit nerd?” he growled out in frustration.

Izuku honestly did not feel like hearing the insults so he just pushed past the broad man making his way into the living room. Bakugo gawked at his ex-boyfriend, surprised that he didn’t say anything sassy back. His actions made him come to the conclusion that you and he weren’t getting along at this moment.

“Bakugo, please, I just need someplace to sleep tonight.” The shorter man exhaled, throwing himself on the couch. He felt like he was suffocating dealing with everything.

“Well, what the fuck happened? You guys looked fine….well besides that shitface flirting with her-“

Izuku groaned loudly interrupting his friend, “SEE! Even you see it and you’re not even in the relationship. I confronted her about it and all she did was deny it and told me I was looking too deep in it, he closed his eyes before croaking out, “ I-I even asked if she was ch-cheating because of the way she just let him do and say all those things to her and practically entertains him right in front me made my skin crawl.”

“How did she react to that?” Both men were sitting on the couch, at respectable distances. Bakugo was facing him while Izuku side-eyed him.

“Said the same thing you said,” The statement made the blonde man shudder, remembering the downfall of their relationship.

Bakugo deeply regretted what he did to Izuku. He didn't deserve that pain. He knew that and he knew that you knew that. So the thought of you cheating on Izuku had never and would never cross his mind.

“She's not cheating-"

“How the hell am I supposed to know that-“

“BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR FUCKING WIFE!”, he yelled gritting through his teeth, he then took a deep breath before continuing, “Look when I did my shit you saw right through my bullshit. You saw the distance, the lack of attention, and everything else. I am an emotionally stunted bastard, but she’s not. To be honest, she's an open book and a terrible fucking liar so her getting away with cheating is out of this fucking world.”

Tears were spilling out of Izuku’s eyes as he leaned down, playing with his fingers. His breathing was shaky and so were his hands.

“ I'm scared,” he whispered, “ I don't want to get hurt again.”

“You trust her?” Bakugo asked with his eyebrow raised.

“Yes.” there is no hesitation in Izuku’s voice but you can hear the hurt. Bakugo nodded, lifting himself off the couch.

“Stay here, don't call her, and she'll knock on this door righting her wrongs. Go the fuck to bed, crybaby."

•••••

The next day you felt like shit. The whole night you stayed up late overthinking everything. You thought about your actions, Izuku, the status of your marriage, Izuku, your platonic(?) relationship with Shindo, and most importantly Izuku. You loved your husband more than anything in the world and his actions last night broke you.

After your crying fest, you began to think about all your interactions with the infamous Yo Shindo. You did a pros and cons list of your relationship with him and finally took notice of all of his more than friendly actions towards you. You began to understand why Izuku was so uncomfortable with Shindo. You don't know why it took your husband walking out on you to notice that Shindo was overstepping boundaries and you were letting him. Now since you took awareness of your wrongs like the big girl you are, you decide to make things right with your husband…. As soon as you figure out where he was.

At first, you thought Todoroki but he was out of town. Then you thought Bakugo, but you knew he wouldn't possibly be up at the time Izuku walked out. But then again, they are friends and use to date so it wasn't a dumb idea. Plus Izuku would definitely do something like go to his ex-boyfriend's house to get you thinking the worst.

Grabbing your things, you make your way to the blonde's house, taking the opportunity to walk so you could mentally prepare yourself. Izuku had every right to not forgive you for your actions. You were wrong and you'll admit that. Your husband's last relationship really broke him so his reaction to you and Shindo's friendship was valid, but he also needed to trust you. Izuku is your beloved husband but you guys are too deep in this marriage for him not to trust you. So you were going to apologize but also tell him about trust. Finally making your way to his door, you took a deep breath and knocked a couple times.

On the other side of the door, Izuku, who was seated at the kitchen island, looked at the door then moved his eyes to Bakugo. The blonde stared back and shrugged, going to the front door to reveal you. Bakugo looked you up and down, just to lean down and whisper,

“You look like shit.” you gave off an awkward laugh, agreeing with the taller man.

“Y-yeah I know. I feel like it too. But anyway, is Izuku here? I really need to talk to him. It's important.” you fretted playing with your dangling curls. As much as Bakugo wanted to mess with you, he knew his friend wouldn't like it. He stepped aside and let you in, thumbing towards the kitchen.

“Don’t get tears all over my shit or you'll clean the whole damn place." Bakugo threatened before taking his leave upstairs and leaving the married couple alone.

You slowly began to walk to the kitchen, suddenly feeling nervous being around your husband. Izuku was nervous too, anticipating what you were going to say because he obviously doesn't want to speak first - he does, he really wants to apologize for cursing and insulting you - yeah totally doesn't want to speak first. Sitting across from him, you take a deep breath and snatched his hands to hold them with yours.

“I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Izzy. I'm sorry for how I reacted towards you when all you were doing was expressing your lack of comfort. I'm sorry for practically invalidating your feelings, even though I know about your past relationships. I'm SO sorry for entertaining Shindo. I should have been way more aware of his actions instead of just playing it off as friendly whatever the fuck. I told Shindo off before I came here so you don't have to worry about him anymore, I swear to you.“ you professed. You were out of breath by the time you were done speaking. Your anxiety peaked at an all-time high because you hated confrontations between the two of you.

Izuku’s eyes widened slightly at your abrupt apology but he understood your nervousness. You hated any separation between you two, so being away from each other - no matter if it's several hours or several days - really fucked with your head. He switched the positions of your hands so that he would be the one clutching yours.

“ I forgive you-“, he declared, “-and I'm sorry too.”

“You don't-“ he squeezed your hands to stop you and looked into your eyes.

“Yes, I do. I could have gotten my point across without cursing at you and calling you “dense”. You're very smart, you just catch on slow-” You both laughed lightly, “-and I shouldn't have doubted your trust. I was just being scared, but you’re my wife, Y/N. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't trust you. I love you, bun.”

He finished, kissing the brown side of your hand. He then gripped your arm and started to pull you slightly, signaling you to get up and come to him, so you did. You got pulled into his lap, straddling his strong thighs. He pulled you for a tight hug, wrapping his strong arms around your waist, while you wrapped your arms around his neck burying your face in his curly hair. Both of you were so close not even a sheet of paper could get in between you. Together, you sat like that for several minutes, basking in each other's presence.

“Izzy, baby?” you whispered, scratching the nape of his neck softly.

“ Hmm?” he muffled out giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“Can I show you how sorry I am, sir?” you purred placing a gentle kiss on his neck.

Izuku hated fighting with you, but he adored the make-up sex that always came after.

"I am going to fuck you up," he avowed making you shriek as he stood up to throw you over his shoulder, “WE’RE LEAVING, KACCHAN!”

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[winterlinksandotherlinks]

I can't tell you why, but my first impression of LiWiAU Legend was that, if he lived in our world, he would be at least partly Scottish or brought up partly Scottish, and that just kind of stuck when I started writing his character

I think he's one of my most fleshed-out characters, purely because he's been through a lot and it's easy to see how he might react to his circumstances to try to deal with everything

In terms of the order of his adventures, I’ve placed them as follows (his age in brackets): ALttP (8 yrs); OoS and OoA (16–17 yrs)*; Link’s Awakening (18 yrs); ALBW (19 yrs)

*I've seen people attribute Tri Force Heroes to both the Hero of Legend and the Hero of the Four Sword, so I'm holding off on a definite placement until I'm more familiar with it — however, if I attribute it to Legend, it'll fall within this time period

WARNING: The list below mentions implied alcoholism (point 27) and attempted suicide (point 29). I've numbered the list specifically so that you can skip these points if you want to

he gets better, I promise, he just has a rough couple of years after Koholint

This got really long, so buckle up:

this man has a kilt for every occasion — single-coloured and patterned — and hasn't been seen wearing trousers in years (Ravio made him a ring for temperature regulation one winter, and Legend's delighted);

likes tea with milk and extra sugar, and generally sweeter food (toast with butter and honey? an absolute treat in his opinion);

holds nonsensical one-sided conversations with Sheerow whenever nobody's around (Sheerow absolutely tells Ravio about it later, and Ravio thinks it's hilarious and adores it);

speaks too many languages for his own good (and is really good at picking up new ones);

very good at sowing and embroidering (guess who made Mitchi's pink-and-purple bunny!);

plays so many instruments, and sings really well — can also dance fairly well if he has to, but is slightly cagey about it;

is working on turning his adventures into memoirs, fully fleshed out with maps, travel advice, speculations, linguistics, and entire sections on cultural differences — this man is a closeted scholar and an absolute nerd;

familiar with magical items, and will leap on an opportunity to examine them, but hasn't really developed any magic of his own (though he has a serious well of divine magic at his disposal that he prefers to ignore);

has a sharp tongue and an observant eye;

y'know the vibe some men give off when they're comfortably settled in their own lives, with a job they like, a family they love, and a general sense of satisfaction with their circumstances? that sense of "this person is grounded"? Legend has developed a healthy dose of that, and you can see it in everything from the way he stands to the way he talks;

very protective of his family and friends, and a very loving husband and parent;

grew up on a farm in the outskirts of Hyrule, together with Grandma and Grandpa — Grandma used to sing to him, and for thr general mood of it, I'd like you to think of 'A Mhaighdean Bhan Uasal', popularised through Brave;

Grandma and Grandpa died when he was four, and he spent a month at the Royal House of Orphans before Uncle Tearlach gained the legal rights to adopt him (it was a Whole Thing, and Legend still hates bureaucracy and the Orphanage because of it);

this is also where his dislike of Hylia started, because he blamed her for taking Grandma and Grandpa away;

he befriended Zelda, because Uncle Tearlach often left him in the care of Zelda's nurse while doing his knightly duties — they got along like a house on fire, and were as sibling-like as two strangers could be;

loved helping Uncle Tearlach pick apples, bake, and cook, and they would sing together in the kitchen — learned to make apple pies from Uncle Tearlach;

Uncle Tearlach called him "m'eudail", which, as far as I've understood, is the Scottish Gaelic equivalent of "darling"/"dear", and is used by parents/grandparents towards their children/grandchildren;

turns out Legend grows up to look quite a bit like the Queen (and Zelda), which causes some rumours when he becomes a known figure, but he refuses all formal ties to the royal family, aside from a close friendship with Zelda (which causes another type of rumours);

Uncle Tearlach died when Legend was eight, and then Legend's first adventure started;

Zelda's half-brother (one year older, and the result of an assault on the Queen — the Royal family couldn't risk the scandal of having a child that didn't look like it belonged to the family, so for their own and the child's reputation they sent him off to grow up with the parents of the Queen's knight, Tearlach — the cover-up-story is that the child was kidnapped, and it becomes known as 'The Story of the Forgotten Prince');

in the years after his first adventure and Uncle Tearlach's death, he gets a room in the Castle and is looked after by Zelda's nurse;

he attempts to pick up a blacksmithing apprenticeship, but while he could do it, it doesn't capture his interest for very long (though he enjoys looking after Gulley when Gulley's born);

in general, his interests leap a lot during the next few years, and it's very much a case of getting decently good at one thing, then moving on to another, like he needs to keep himself busy with something At All Times (he just needs to cope somehow);

if he sits still for too long, his leg starts bouncing, or he taps his fingers or fiddles with his sleeves (later, he'll fiddle with his rings too);

when he's sixteen, he's had enough of rumours and sitting on his butt doing nothing, so he gets up and travels (OoS and OoA take place here, and possibly Tri Force Heroes);

he's a few months shy of eighteen when he lands on Koholint, and by the time he turns eighteen, he's head over heels for Marin and would like nothing more than to marry her;

he returns to Hyrule and busies himself with repairing Uncle Tearlach's cottage and tending to the orchard — he isn't coping well after Koholint, hides from social interactions, and drinks a little too much a little too often;

then Ravio shows up and ALBW happens;

by the end of it, Legend's nineteen and still not doing well — in the year that follows, he spirals deeper into depression and, at one point, attempts to end it, but Sheerow alerts Ravio and Ravio finds him and brings him to the Royal Infirmary;

the experience makes Legend realise that he does want to live, but isn't sure how to go about it — eventually he opens up to Ravio about Koholint and Marin, and then everything else, and makes the effort to improve his physical and mental health;

when he's twenty, Mitchi's dropped into Ravio's life, and Legend's terrified that Ravio might leave permanently to help Mamie bring Mitchie up — the experience makes Legend realise just how deeply he's fallen for Ravio;

at some point Ravio returns to the cottage, and Legend (almost single-handedly) builds a shop expansion that they name 'Link's Orchard and Ravio's Magic Items' — it's a successful business (a lot of people definitely come by just to gawk at the Hero), and although they never struggled financially, they now have a solid income;

at twenty-two, the whole Event that is Mitchi's adoption takes place, Legend and Ravio start dating, and they get married (this all happens more or less within the same 48 hours);

Legend sings Grandma and Uncle Tearlach's songs with Mitchi, and calls Mitchi "m'eudail";

he produces and sells apple sauce and cider, as well as honey and an occasional box of apples;

before they adopted Mitchi, he was convinced he couldn't be a good parent, because of the mess he had been post-Koholint, but a part of him was lonely and wanted a family and a home to return to (Ravio helped him see reason);

when he's twenty-four, Mitchi asks if he can have siblings one day, and Legend and Ravio take it into serious consideration;

at twenty-five, he's thrown into the adventure of the Links Winter AU

Final note on his design: I'd be lying if I said it wasn't inspired by LU Legend. Regardless of what's been going down in that camp (if you don't know, count yourself happy and please don't ask), LU Legend's design is a good one, from featheredPegasus Boots to red-and-green tunics and blue hat

In my design, I've kept the hat and the red tunic (with minor alterarions). I turned the white feathers into leather feathers (pinned to the sides of his boots), and split the green tunic into a green shirt and a green kilt. Does he wear shorts under the kilt? I don't know, that's for you to ponder and me to never mention again

[scandinavianfairytale]

Blurred lines - Bodyguard Steve

Part 9

Warnings: Suspicious & scary Brock, mentions of potential divorce, speculations of cheating, implied steaminess, Steve & Holly are in love 💙

Tagging: @schlean

Find the Masterlist here 😊

In five years, since Brock took over the family business, Alexandria's life changed so much, she often had a hard time recognizing it. When they got married, she pictured a small flat, filled to the brim with books, vinyls and plants. They'd drink morning coffee on the little balcony, she'd study for her PhD and he'd write. They'd do what they wanted for so many years, what they have planned for so many years.

But when Brock's father got sick and they cut their honeymoon short the shift in her new husband was vivid. John and him were with their father for hours each day and Petra and Alex were worried about their husbands - especially with the possibility of Rumlow's head death. Brock would return home each night completely exhausted but would still go to the office to do some work his father couldn't at that moment.

Alex often thought about that pivotal moment when John turned down the title and all eyes turned to Brock, but she couldn't remember anything else as time stopped and all she could remember was the beating of her heart. She could remember how all their plans were disintegrating and when she found the eyes of her husband again...to this day she can't describe the emotion that crossed his face. But she could see him stand up and accept the burden that wasn't his to carry.

She should've seen it coming honestly, John was seen less and less at the family house as their father's disease progressed and Brock had more to do because of it. Alex should've known John was going to pass on the heavy load of being the new head to his younger brother, but she was too worried about her husband to notice. Maybe if she had, she could've done something about it.

Joe opened the door for her as she exited the house, wearing her baggy jeans and black sweatshirt that she liked to wear whenever she was on her way to the other side of the island.

"Thank you Joe, but I'm taking the subway today." She smiled at him through her sunglasses and rested a hand on his clasped ones.

"If I may ask: when do you expect to be home?" He asked cautiously. He had to answer to Brock, even though his heart went out to Alex - he has seen her cry too many times in the past 5 years.

"Late." She didn't say anything for a moment, but then she pulled off her sunglasses and sighed. "If my husband asks, you can tell him I'm in Brooklyn on the look-out for new art."

After Joe nodded, Alex walked out the gates of her house and towards the metro station. The first time she made it to the Brooklyn heights promenade she cried, stopping a few runners that passed her. She spent the next 5 minutes trying to explain that she was okay and that this was her first time seeing this place. After that when she felt suffocated by her life, she'd disappear for the day and just soak in the sun on the rocks and watch the sunset at the Manhattan bridge with other people. She felt like she was normal then.

She put her headphones on when she sat down on the metro. Her parents loved classical music, but she was more of an old school rock fan. Like Brock. When he proposed to her, he bought her a Creedence Clearwater Revival vinyl she was searching for months. They wanted to fill the small closet in their flat with vinyls.

There's no gramophone in the house now.

Alex thought about leaving and divorcing Brock so many times. Too many times that she was comfortable admitting to herself. But even though she thinks about leaving, she knows she never will - he is the love of her life. He did the only right thing he could've done at that moment and she can't blame him for that, especially not when he tries so hard to make her happy.

She got off the subway and walked downhill, among the little brick row houses and she wondered about the people living inside them. She often wondered about other people's lives. What they dreamt of, what were they scared of, what made them want to get up in the morning. She tried answering the same questions, but it sometimes made her sad. As she saw the first sun rays breaking on the water she sped up, wanting to see the water as soon as possible and grabbed an ice-cream from the vendor - Paul - on the way to her spot on the rocks.

~Brock~

It had been happening more and more recently - Alex disappearing for the whole day and returning only in the evening. She never told anyone where she was going and she always took the subway. Joe always told him the same - she was in Brooklyn searching for art. The first couple of times he brushed it off as she was a fan of art, but when she never added anything to the collection, he became suspicious.

After the conversation they had a week ago, Brock was feeling antsy. He knew what he was about to do was wrong and if Alex found out, she'd have his head, but he needed to do something or his head was going to explode. Picking up the phone, he dialed the newest number in his phone.

"Steve. It's Brock." He paused for the other man to catch up. "Listen, I know it's early, but if you want I have a job for you. Can you come over tomorrow to discuss details?"

~Steve~

"Sure. I have to pick something up from the post, but I can come over straight after that. Would 9am be okay for you?" Steve asked as he walked around the apartment. Holly watched varily from the sofa, twirling the remote in her hands.

"Perfect, see you then." He hung up and exhaled.

"Was that Brock?" Holly asked as he plopped down next to her, putting his arm around her, scooching closer to her. He hummed in response and reached for the remote to unpause the movie.

"I thought we talked about it, Steve. I don't want you close to the business." She moved the remote out of his way. "You're too pure to be in this business."

"Holly, I can handle myself. It's not like he'll ask me to move a body or something."

"Maybe not now." She joked. "But seriously Stevie...I know you don't have a job but this is serious. He won't make you do anything illegal but he might put a target on your back. And I love you too much to watch you get killed."

"Oh, you love me?" Steve quickly changed the subject.

"I do." Holly blushed and turned her body to him, slowly kissing his jaw. "You are the most honest and nicest man I have ever met and I love you because of it."

"I love you too." Steve grabbed her chin, looking into her eyes. She stared at him before kissing him hard and stradling his lap, tugging at his belt.

~Brock~

He couldn't focus, he stared at the man in front of him but he couldn't hear a single word the man said. The only thing that played in his head on repeat was that Alex might be cheating on him.

"Mr. Rumlow, I would need your answer by the end of today. I'm meeting with new potential client tomorrow and unless you'd agree to a higher price, I will have to stop supplying the coca plant." That made him snap out of his throughts. Brock let his hand fall from his beard to the table and he met the eyes of the man sitting in front of him. The man visibly flinched.

"Mr. Gilson, I thought we had a contract that was valid for the next 3 more years."

"W-We do, however as you hopefully recall, there is a clause that mentions the other competitors." Gilson gulped. Brock stood up, motioning to his bodyguards to leave, before he cornered Gilson in his chair.

"I don't like to be fooled, Gilson. We both know there was no such clause and you're only greedy." Brock sneered. "You know damn well what kind of reputation I have and I don't like to prove anyone right. So unless you'd like to be on the receiving end of it, I suggest you call off tomorrow's meeting as I am the only one that has the legally binding right to your coca plant."

"M-Mr. Rumlow, p-please, he is offering a lot more money and I'm not asking you to match his price, just a symbolic value, so I can justify saying no."

"Are you in money trouble? Have any debt?" Brock straightened up, looking down at the man in front of him.

"No."

"Is the competitor threatening you?"

"No."

"Have you had a good harvest and have additional coca plants that will go bad if you don't sell them?"

"No."

"Are you afraid of the competitor?"

"Not really."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"Not always."

"What about right now?"

"...yes." Gilson gulped and when he saw Brock's hand move, he flinched, closing his eyes. Brock slapped his shoulder.

"I will tell you what's going to happen now." Brock inhaled. "You are going to leave my office and never, or for the next three years, raise this topic to me again. Unless there will be some real problems, I don't want to hear about your greed. And there will be no other buyers. Do you understand me?"

"Y-Yes." The man scurried out of the office and his bodyguards entered the room again, sitting at the table, observing their boss rubbing his forehead.

"Find out who this competitor is. Someone has been snooping around and I don't like it." His bodyguards nodded and left again, leaving Brock alone with his thoughts.

~Steve~

After Holly showered she left for some event she needed to attend and Steve decided to take a walk and think about tomorrow. It was going to be a pivotal day for his mission and he wondered what the job will be, what will be asked of him. He knew that undercover cops don't undergo trial or face consequences but he still wondered if he will be able to do what will be asked of him.

He made his way to the water, walking around the lively restaurants and bars, observing the happy chatter and music that filled the Pebble beach. He thought of Peggy and he remembered how she left him - in the middle of Per Se with a ring in his palm. He had a plan then, for them. He was going to buy the small brick row house in Brooklyn and they'd have a family, like they dreamed of, he'd request a transfer to a desk job or even maybe potentially change jobs, so he wouldn't worry her. They'd dance in the living room to jazz and they'd cook together while they recounted their days.

Steve made it to the lawn next to the Manhattan bridge and took in the setting sun. He pictured having picnics here with Peggy, they'd sit in silence and just be with each other, appreciating something so spectacular and beautiful.

He saw a lone figure far from anyone else, resting on her hands, head lulled to the side and he recognized her.

"Alex. What brings you to the other side of town?" Steve made his way to her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Steve...what? Did Brock send you?" Alex quickly stood up, wiping her hands in her jeans.

"What? No, of course not, I live near by and walk along the promenade oftenly." Steve looked utterly lost and her stern look fell and she tried laughing it off.

"Sorry about that. Of course you live near by. You mentioned last week at dinner."

"Mind if I join you?" Steve asked and pointed to the patch of grass she was sitting on a few moments ago.

"Not at all." They sat down and watched the sun set on Manhattan.

"The first time I saw it, I cried." Alex said after the last rays disappeared. "The sunset I mean." She turned to him. Steve didn't know what to say.

"I can understand that - it is truly breathtaking."

"I don't think I'd ever get tired of seeing it."

"You would." Steve sheepishly laughed as Alex looked at him, eyebrows arched high. "I grew up here so I have seen it thousands of times. It's nice, but you get used to it."

"I don't think I ever would."

"That's because you live far away and can't be here everyday. Let me put it like this - at the dinner I commented on the Kandinsky that hangs in your living room and you said that it was okay. If you only saw it once in a museum, you'd think it is one of the most beautiful works of art. But now you look at it everyday and you don't think it's that interesting anymore."

"That's true, but I also think that each day you'd come here, the people are different and so is the vibe. I think that makes each experience different from the one another." Alex smiled.

Steve insisted on walking her to her subway station across the Brooklyn bridge. Alex felt weird not talking to him, while she suspected Steve didn't mind the silence.

"How's the job search going?" She finally aske, breaking Steve's train of thoughts.

"Actually Brock called me today with a job offer." He was surprised by her surprised expression. "You don't know anything about it?"

"No...but to be fair I am the least involved in the family business."

"How so?"

"I don't want anything to do with it. The less I know the better."

"For your protection?"

"And my sanity - I don't want to know the business my husband is involved in, especially when I know that I won't agree with it."

"Why marry into the family then?" Steve inquired and paused as Alex turned to him. "Forgive me, that was completely out of line."

Neither of them spoke for the next few minutes. Steve took off his jacket and put it around her shoulder as she shuddered due to the wind. She stayed way over what she calculated and was severly unprepared for the NYC wind in the middle of Brooklyn bridge. She was surprised by the act of kindness. He really was different than Holly's other boyfriends.

"Brock wasn't supposed to take over the business. When we got married, we were supposed to move to Europe. I was supposed to continue studying and he wanted to write." She decided to answer his previous question. Steve nodded but decided to keep his mouth shut - after all this wasn't his business and was irrelevant to his mission, so he thought it was better to not snoop too much and make her uncomfortable.

She returned his jacket when they arrived at the Fulton street and they said goodbye, before she disappeared into the station and he continued to walk to the Chamber street.

When Alex returned home, Brock was still up, reading his book in bed.

"How was your art hunt?" He smiled at her, putting down his book.

"Joe really can't lie, can he?" She joked. "Not as productive as I would've liked. There were good pieces but none of them really moved me." She said from the bathroom. His smile fell and he had to restrain himself from accusing his wife of anything without proof.

"I sure one of these days you'll find what you're searching for."

"I'm not really searching for anything - I'm just looking around. I know it when I'll see it."

"Right...listen I want to talk to you about the business."

"Brock, no, I don't wa-"

"I know. But this is pressing and it concerns you. I don't want you to be blindsided tomorrow."

Alex could sense something was off, but now she was becoming uneasy. She walked out of the bathroom in her PJs and sat on the edge of the bed, next to Brock.

"There's something going on and until I get to the bottom of it, I want you to be safe at all times. I have a meeting with Steve tomorrow and if he accepts he's going to be your bodyguard for the time being." Alex stood up abruptly.

"No, Brock. We had this discussion already, I don't need a bodyguard."

"This was before. Things changed. You're getting a bodyguard and that's the end of this conversation."

"You can't make decisions for me whenever you feel like it."

"For fuck's sakes Alex, someone has been snooping around and I can't have you sneaking off for the whole day, making me worry what has happened to you!" Brock was now standing in front of her, yelling in her face. She piped down, looking into his blazing eyes. In the 20+ years she has known him, she has seen him angry only a handful of times.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but please just grant me this until I figure things out, okay?" He sighed as he stared into her big eyes.

"I don't like this, Brock." Alex sighed as well.

"I know, but just until I get to the bottom of this, okay? I swear." He kissed the top of her head.

Thank you for reading! 🙏😊

The GIF and the clothes picture aren't mine - they belong to the amazing creators.

Phew this was a long chapter! And it was a long time coming 😁 I hope it's still okay that @schlean you are still tagged?

[backtothestart02]

We Met on a Train - 2/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: The response I got for this fic was insane! I had to continue it. Enjoy!

For @candistinasworld

...

Synopsis: AU - Barry and Iris meet on a train and get more than they bargained for.

...

Chapter 2 -

Barry sat by the window, two days after his encounter with Iris on the train, his finger tracing the rim of his coffee mug, and thinking of nothing other than how the hell he was going to live with himself if he didn’t see that woman again.

He’d been able to distract himself well enough with spending time with his parents and catching up with them for the first day or so. His dad had even done him a favor and managed to change the subject every time his wife was about to pester Barry about his love life or lack thereof. But the fact of the matter was that no amount of competitive Scrabble or speculating if it would be a white Christmas or not kept Iris from seeping into his mind.

And it wasn’t just about the sex. The sex had been fantastic, sure, best of his life in fact. But it was more than just excellent sex with a goddess of a woman. There was something about her that drew him to her more than her dazzling smile, doe eyes, and generous curves. Maybe it was the way she’d wanted him despite him being ‘not her type’. Or the way she laughed and his jokes that just weren’t funny in any matter of speaking. Maybe it had been the wine talking, but then maybe it hadn’t. Maybe she genuinely liked him and was going as out of her mind thinking about him as he was for her.

Or maybe she just saw him as a fun one-night stand and nothing more.

He frowned at the thought and unfortunately was caught red-handed by his father approaching with his own cup of coffee and sitting in the opposite chair.

“Hey there, Slugger.”

Barry hurried to put a half-hearted smile on his face.

“Nah-ah, too late. I caught ya.” He chuckled, and Barry managed to, as well. “Now what can I do to turn that frown upside down?”

Barry shrugged.

“Come on,” he urged, then paused for a few beats before trying again. “Is this about a girl?”

Barry groaned. “Dad.”

Henry chuckled.

“Sorry, sorry, I had to. Usually it’s about a girl when a man is looking the way you are.”

“And how am I looking?” Barry looked his dad dead in the eyes.

“Hopeless. Like a hopeless romantic.”

Barry looked away.

“It’s not about you losing to your mother at Scrabble last night.” Barry shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Though that was a surprise, I’ll admit. Your focus and competitive nature usually blow her out of the water every time.” He eyed his son down suspiciously. “And I know you’re not all that upset about whether we’re going to have a white Christmas or not.”

“Just a few more days…” Barry took a sip out of his mug and set it down on a coaster, licking his lips.

“Is everything okay at work?” he asked, though Barry suspected he knew he was correct with his first guess, and he didn’t want to be here when he figured that out again.

“Yep. Everything’s great. I think I’m going to take a walk, see the city.”

“I’ll come with you. I could use the exerci-”

“I’d rather just walk alone, if you don’t mind,” he said, quickly, grabbing his jacket out of the closet and slipping his arms into the sleeves. “I’ll be back in maybe an hour.”

“Oh. Sure. Okay. Have fun.” Henry forced a smile.

Barry felt a little bit bad about turning him down, but he was on a mission. He could not sit in this house a moment longer without at least trying to find her. He didn’t have a last name. He didn’t have anything except the knowledge that she’d come to see her dad and she was somewhere in the city, but if she was on the same page as he was, then she had to have left her house at some point and gone out to do something.

Right?

“Is he…jogging?” Nora Allen asked, coming up beside her husband watching their son disappear down the block.

“Yeah,” Henry said, reluctantly.

“He never jogs. Anything close to running, he’s opposed to.”

“I know.”

“What were you two talking about?” she asked, tilting her head to analyze his features.

Henry was careful with his words.

“Whatever’s bothering him.”

“Something’s bothering him?” she asked, motherly concern welling up in him. “I’m usually on top of his feelings, so in tune with when something’s wrong…” Her face scrunched up in despair, and Henry wrapped an arm around her.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, love. You’re still riding that high from your win last night.”

Her eyes widened.

“Do you think that’s what he’s upset about? He is very competitive…” She gnawed on her bottom lip.

“But he wasn’t last night, was he?”

Her eyes narrowed.

“Are you saying I only won because our son was not on top of his usually game?” She raised an eyebrow.

He pressed his lips to her cheek and untangled himself from her.

“I’m saying nothing of the sort.”

“Mr. Allen…where are you going?”

“I am just going to eat breakfast with my lovely wife in the other room.” He paused and looked back at her. “She will be in the other room, won’t she?” he waited expectantly.

She fought a smile for all of two seconds before it burst across her face.

“Yes, she will,” she said, and took his hand as the two of them went to sit at the kitchen table.

For all intents and purposes, Nora forgot about Henry’s concerns regarding their son and focused entirely on the romantic sap her husband was being.

Point 1 for Henry – and for Barry.

…

Iris took in a deep breath, drumming her nails on the table at Jitters and impatiently waited for her ‘date’ to arrive.

He always did this. Whenever she was in town, he would demand to see her for dinner or coffee – she always insisted on coffee – and then when she showed up right on time, it would be another 15 or so minutes until he showed up.

So far, it had been 20.

She didn’t know why she bothered. No, that wasn’t true. She did know. Eddie Thawne was her dad’s partner at the precinct. Most of the time Joe West couldn’t stand his partner, labeling him ‘Detective Pretty Boy’ for how full of himself the guy tended to be when it came to successful arrests. But the one thing her dad hated more than having to deal with him boasting about his meager accomplishments was hearing him moan and groan about how he never had anywhere to go for the holidays because his parents always traveled abroad, since a handful of their personal anniversaries tended to hit right around each holiday.

Joe didn’t know how to break it to him that maybe they didn’t like their son very much. Iris thought it was possible said parents weren’t even alive anymore, and that was why she agreed to one pity date prior to their holiday get-togethers every time she was in town.

She didn’t know how Eddie had managed to stay single for at least the five years this had been going on – boastful or not, he was easy on the eyes. He couldn’t have had too much trouble landing the ladies. Her lack of interest though was proof he wasn’t for everyone, though this time around she knew it had more to do with her own preoccupation of thoughts about a certain train-riding brunette than it did her uninteresting, obligatory history with Eddie.

Yes, it was true. She was still thinking about Barry.

She wasn’t ready yet to admit that Mr. Not-Her-Type had been the best sex of her life, but what she was well aware of was that he was occupying her every thought, and it wasn’t just because of the sex.

She didn’t understand it. Lanky? Super tall? Thin? Not blonde? Super bold? But also quick to blush? That wasn’t what she typically was attracted to. In fact, her latest crush was a certain mayor not too far away from her in Star City. Oliver Queen. Now he was the stuff of dreams. Buff. Blonde. Billionaire.

Unfortunately for her, his on-again, off-again romance with Laurel Lance was the stuff of legends, so she likely didn’t have a chance. Then again, she didn’t know him personally, so maybe all he’d be good for was a one-night stand. Much like Barry.

Her nose scrunched up. No. Nothing like Barry. So different.

“Hey!” Eddie slid into the booth across from her. “Sorry, I’m late. I had an arrest I had to deal with on the other side of town.”

He was grinning, smug as hell, but Iris didn’t notice because she was still frowning.

“Everything…okay?”

“Hmm?” She looked up, wide-eyed and not so innocent. No way was she going to admit she was just comparing her dream date and her one-night stand while waiting for him to show up on their pity date.

“You look distressed.”

“Not distressed.” She smiled smoothly. “Just…lost in thought.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why don’t you get yourself a drink? I would’ve gotten you one, but I didn’t know how long you might be.”

“Guilty.” He chuckled. “I’ll be right back.”

Iris continued to smile until he left, and then turned to look out the window to show her true emotions, when her eyes landed on none other than the object of her desires. Wait, did she think that right? He was still the object of…?

Her mind went blank, because Barry’s eyes were fastened to hers from where he stood across the street, just as hers were on his. Her heart raced, her breathing came in quicker spurts, and every moment from their night on the train flashed before her eyes.

He looked about to cross the street, maybe to approach her, and for some reason she panicked. Eddie was sliding back into his side of the booth at exactly that moment, and so she reached across the table and held his hand, smiling sweetly at him.

Eddie was taken off-guard, but he didn’t mind her advances. In fact, he’d been waiting for them for years now. Which is why it was such a blow when Iris’ smile vanished, and her hand retracted moments later.

“Uh…”

“Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” he accepted, and slouched into his seat.

Iris grabbed her jacket, quickly slid her arms into the sleeves and darted out of CC Jitters, regretting her decision to pretend to be madly in love with Eddie for Barry’s eyes only the second Barry had spun around and started retreating down the block.

In her high-heels, she half-ran, half-powerwalked across the street, grateful even in his long legs, he’d decided not to run back to where he’d come from.

“Barry! Barry!”

He didn’t respond to her, but the next light was red, and cars were coming – lucky her – so he had to turn around when she yanked at his arm tucked hard against his side, his hands tight in his pockets.

“Did you cheat on him with me?” he demanded, and Iris’ mouth fell open.

“What? No!”

“So, he’s not your boyfriend then.”

She scoffed. “Absolutely not.”

“So, you just immediately got over me and dated someone new two days later. How nice it must be to be able to move on so quickly from the best night of your life.”

The light turned, but her grip on his arm was too strong, and she dragged him over to the side so other people could pass by them.

“There are a lot of assumptions in that accusation you just made, mister.”

“All of them true,” he said.

“None of them true,” she argued.

“Really? So, I didn’t just see you on a date two nights after we fucked?”

She bristled. “You’re not my boyfriend. You’re a one-night stand. We both agreed to that. So, chill the fuck out.”

He seemed to gather himself in after that remark and took a breath.

“I don’t want to be,” he finally said.

“You don’t want to be my boyfriend?” she asked, dubiously.

His eyes met hers, and the intensity reflected every moment she’d looked into them on the train.

“I don’t want to be a one-night stand. I came looking for you because I can’t get you out of my head.” He took her hands in his.

Iris swallowed.

“Sex can have that effect on people, I’ve heard.”

“I’ve had sex before,” he countered. “It never had this effect on me.”

“Never? Not even the first time?” she found herself asking, a teasing lilt to her voice.

“Especially not the first time,” he said, smiling a little but mostly blushing and avoiding eye contact.

Butterflies fluttered wildly inside her. She cleared her throat to squash them.

“Well, if you must know, the guy inside that I’d been having coffee with, he-”

“The guy who’s staring at us right now?” Barry asked, having lifted his head towards the coffee shop.

“He what?!” Iris turned around and saw sure enough, Eddie quickly looking away from having been staring right at them. “Oh, god. That’s going to cause problems.”

“Why?” Barry frowned. “Who is he?”

Iris groaned.

“He’s my dad’s partner at the precinct.”

“Your dad’s a cop.”

“Yeah. Why?” She gave him a suspicious stare.

“No reason.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Go on,” he encouraged, and she sighed.

“I’ve been going on pity dates with him every time I’m in town. He apparently has a little crush, and-”

“You’re not interested.” He smiled slowly.

“I didn’t say that.”

He gave her a knowing look.

“It’s not a pity date if you’re interested.”

She blew a few locks of hair out of her face.

“Okay, fine, I’m not interested.”

“So, why do it? Isn’t that going to do more harm than good? In the long run?”

“Well, thanks to you, it looks like I won’t be doing that anymore now, will I?”

He smiled serenely.

“You’re welcome.”

She stared head-on, determined to be annoyed at him, but his quirky grin and sexy look in his eyes were her undoing, and she burst out laughing. He laughed with her, and she felt more rejuvenated than she had ever since she got off that train.

“You like me,” he said, nudging her.

“I…do not…”

He waited, smiling wide, a smile she could not avoid if she wanted to, since it spread quickly to her own face.

“I do not not like you.”

He nestled closer to her and lowered his voice.

“Let me take you to dinner. Just the two of us, a real date.”

“Barry, no,” she groaned.

“Why not? What have you got to lose?”

“Everything!”

He frowned, stunned speechless.

“Look, I was with a guy once, a guy I was head over heels for, and then he broke my heart. It took me forever to get back on my feet again. And right now, things are good for me – my friends, my family, my job. All I can afford is a one-night stand. I can’t risk more than that right now.”

He swallowed, disappointment stabbing him in the back, when an idea occurred to him, one that might keep her tied to him for just a little bit longer while he figured something else out.

“What would you say…” he whispered into her ear, “to a two-night stand?”

She caught her breath, her heart racing, and her eyes fluttering shut.

“What did you have in mind?”

[maliro-t]

A bunch of halfling thoughts and speculation for this afternoon:

I think Orym in ExU was kind of looked at like an open book, but that’s...a bit of a red herring imo, and it’s part of the reason I’m so pumped to see him in a full campaign. Like, most of the group was looking to him (or Dorian, who then looked to him) as kind of the responsible one- he was level headed, and nobler than most of them knew how to be, and had ties to respectable people, which he was open about. The ExU gang tried to poke into everybody’s histories at least a little, to get what information they could, but nobody really asked about Orym, because they thought they knew enough. He was pretty upfront about where he came from and who he might have worked for and the kind of position he held in the past. And all of that openness made it really easy to not notice how little information he offers about himself. Like, okay, you used to be a guard in a place (and for a person) you still have clear reverence for, and some obligation too, but it was a long time ago- why did you leave? You were sent on some sort of mission to meet with the Pyrah in Emon, but never did- why was that? It leaves me extra interested in this new c3 Zephrah thread, too, and how he wound his way back to the Ashari more fully, when he seemed to have kind of distanced himself from them prior to ExU. 

There’s also the dead husband factor, which has been talked abt to death on here I’m sure, and is pretty much a given at this point with Liam saying he’s been thinking abt this character since 2017 (in combination with the other tiny little hints we’ve gotten). Obviously none of the specifics are confirmed, but there’s enough material to comfortably speculate that he previously had a (likely male) significant other of some kind who is no longer around.

So if we assume that Orym was assigned to Keyleth in early stages of a post campaign world, it’s possible he was there to fulfill that original role of being basically someone who understands her grief. But given that Orym in this campaign is being introduced separately from that loss, rather in direct response to it’s also possible that he didn’t lose his SO until much later, which could offer a possible explanation for the kind of Wanderer status he seems to have in ExU. Obviously this is complete speculation- I’m just having fun here putting pieces together! It’s clear that “widower halfling Ashari guard who was assigned to Keyleth in her mourning period” has developed and evolved quite a bit since it’s conception 4 years ago!

The kind of left turn part of this is that when Dalen’s Closet aired, I was SURE that Derrig was a rework of that original 2017 concept. Ashari guard with a martial class, protecting Keyleth in a post campaign world, but reworked to have a long term partner and children so he wouldn’t be mistaken for her new boyfriend or anything along those lines. So, the part that has me losing it a little bit is that. Orym and Derrig basically have matching tattoos. Sleeves, on the same arm, one with the moons on the shoulder, the other with the sun. At this stage I really can’t tell how much of that was Liam just testing ideas out, and then refining them for Orym down the line- they also share a class, and the same basic weapon setup (sword and shield)- and how much is an intentional connection between the two. Like, maybe it’s just a Zephrah guard thing lol, like a uniform; Derrig was the master of defense at the time of Dalen’s Closet, and Orym probably answered directly to him, especially if he was assigned to Keyleth at that time. But the tattoo is so specifically The Same (and not the same! we love a sun/moon duo) and it has me so, so curious.

(to be clear I do Not think Derrig was his long lost love interest, esp since Derrig was happily married to someone else lol, I mostly am just ????????? about it all. Lmao that would definitely b a power move by Mr. O’Brien though. This campaign he has romanced Himself)

Anyways, Liam has talked abt wanting Orym to be more ride along, with less of the specific moving pieces that Caleb had, but that doesn’t mean he has no personal history at all, and I’m really curious to learn abt it! Thrilled to see him back this campaign bluescreening his way through life as team dad. 

[alistonjdrake]

Part Two: Ambitions, Politicians, Cuckolds, & Maidens.

Angela ana’José Cadaval arrived in Graza shortly before the death of Queen Isolde. Her husband the Duke of Corudiz had just been appointed to the great (and new) council and after fifteen years of marriage she made the journey to the sparkling court in support. 

She would write many years later in her memoir that she found King Frederick, then just twenty-six years of age, to be “decently charming and smart enough to be impressive,” but also “woefully foolish”. In describing how her affair would start with the monarch ten years her junior and, as someone in her own words who “lacked many natural attributes of beauty”, Angela writes “the king, for any perceived faults was at least always aware of his own immaturity and foolishness. He sought after maturity and approval from any source and I think he, seeing the wealth of experience in my life, was glad to have my attention because it proved he could hold conversation with someone who was not his direct peer.” 

Councillor Cadaval, according to Angela, was not aware of his wife’s affair with King Frederick. Angela recounts an incident in which King Frederick joined her in bed after a night of celebration honoring the second birthday of Prince Leonides. Hearing approaching footsteps, Angela urged the drunken and usually shameless king to hide lest they embarrass and upset her husband. After much back and forth, King Frederick finally agreed and stashed himself in the dressing closet. 

The Duke of Corudiz, fearing a draft, went to fetch himself a shawl and found the naked, trembling king who wasted no time spitting up on his councilman as he, “had drank more than he could handle that night or the thrill of being caught upset his youthful stomach.” 

Angela writes that after this, her husband flew into a rage. He did not attack the king, but he did take to the court with the tale in the hopes of shaming them both. He spoke loudly about his wife’s lascivious behavior and King Frederick’s audacity to chase another man’s wife when there “so many willing and unattached women in Graza Palace”.

And that much was true. Certainly in the brief period between Queen Isolde and Queen Trella, young women flocked to Graza Palace either in hopes of taking that place or taking up position as official paramour. In his early reign, the rank of King Frederick’s lover was only championed by three courtiers. Still, rumors quickly spread of their lavish lives and King Frederick’s willingness to spoil those who caught his attention. If they caught it for long. As many stories left Graza Palace of the pleasing lifestyles of ones such as Lady Gloria who lived in her own home in the city, had a revolving door of servants, and anything she desired, there were just as many stories of quick flings that ended in disaster and shame. 

King Frederick was not picky. People quickly learned that their king seemed mostly attracted to attention itself. People others perceived as ugly, palace servants, councilmen, the ladies in service of his wives, and the Duke of Corudiz’ wife.

Councillor Cadaval’s plan to shame the pair did not work and in fact he got direct word from Archpriest Davalos to stop, citing that “a king is not an ordinary man but one chosen and blessed by the Saints. If he should choose to have your wife, you should be glad for the honor. Nay, you should offer her to him”.

There was some speculation at the time, at least among devout Santivians, that Prince Sebastian might have paid him to say that in order to shut the door on the scandal. For there was some truth in it. Santivian leaders never condemned a king for not adhering to the terms of marriage but the Justice had a vastly different opinion of what could be said about paramours who were also married. 

Some did do exactly what Archpriest Davalos suggested, however, likely seeing the benefits of having King Frederick’s good opinion no matter the sacrifice. A few councilmen did practically shove their wives under the king’s nose, hoping for either gifts or another mouth to voice their opinions to their monarch. Angela notes that “so many men were willing to throw aside their marriages for prestige that it made a mockery out of (Cadaval)’s rage. People took to calling him the ‘Poor Husband’ and he departed from court soon after”.

One councilman, the seemingly forever elderly Jaime an’Carlos Andino invited King Frederick to have dinner with his much younger wife and is reported to have said that he’d “be doing the both of them a much needed favor”.

If any spouses were jealous when King Frederick turned his attention on their partners, few wanted to follow the example of the Poor Husband. If any complained at all, they would keep such whispers to only those among the small devout population of Escan. 

Such strong Santivian sentiment would not reach Graza Palace until the crowning of Queen Crisanna who took no time in loudly condemning the married paramours of her husband. 

“She calls me a great, stinking whore,” writes Angela. “The Queen says that no good can come from my loins. That I betray my husband and country and in short order my skin will burst with great pox and oozing pustules when the Saints punish me for my indiscretions. However viciously she cursed me, my skin remained unscarred and still her king comes running to me whenever she opens her mouth.” 

However, King Frederick did eventually listen to Queen Crisanna’s complaints and would let go of Angela’s company. She was subsequently replaced by Lilia ana’Victorio Hidalgo, the daughter of a councilman instead of a wife. Their public relationship was kept chaste. This can either be out of respect for her father or in caution. As, in the case of Lady Gloria, King Frederick did sometimes arrange marriages for “discarded paramours”. Unfortunately for Lady Gloria, her husband was known to have said how he hated having the king’s seconds and threw out many of the gifts she had been given. He was arrested for disorderly conduct and spent four years in Alda. 

Lilia may not have engaged in public salacious behavior with King Frederick, but she did do something many regarded as much worse.

She took Queen Crisanna’s place. During the queen’s absence from court, King Frederick wasted no time giving Lilia a lofty position. But more than that, she was given the platform to voice her opinions. She and her father furthered their political agenda through her grip on the king, swaying opinion towards approving a new tax. She stuck herself to his side, was seen on his arm during ceremonies, attended meetings, and had no trouble inserting herself in conversations with councilmen and important diplomats. 

Some would go so far as to say that he’d taken a second wife and, in living up with Queen Crisanna’s great dislike of salacious behavior had chosen a virginal affair that she could not publicly condemn. 

“Oh, I’m sure the bitch hated it,” writes Angela who did not yet leave court despite her lowered status. In fact, she would stay in Graza until her husband’s death as their marriage had never repaired. “She never wanted to be queen but what she cannot take is disrespect and Lilia disrespects her everyday by proving she isn’t at all necessary, by fueling the talk of their divorce and laughing as she waits to take her place. Frankly, I would do the same.” 

In truth when King Frederick was not sending past paramours off to advantageous marriages, he was giving them high positions in his court. Either to keep them close or to soften the blow of his sudden disinterest in their relationship. Such names include Lord Beldad, who served as Lord of the Bedchamber from the end of Queen Crisanna’s reign to the beginning of King Cidro’s. 

“There is something to be said,” writes Prince Sebastian, “about my brother’s obsession of being surrounded by people he finds beautiful.” for some people in the king’s inner circle were known to be unqualified. Such as Lady Natalie, a lady-in-waiting to Queen Lilia who was the lowest in status out of her peers, could not play a single instrument, and knew little of court etiquette. However, King Frederick was obsessed with her face, much to the point that he stopped his queen’s stroll in the garden to recite poetry to the girl. 

Queen Lilia was cursed with bouts of poor health and when she was indisposed, King Frederick relied heavily on Lord Beldad and Lady Natalie. Curiously, it is largely believed that his relationship with Lady Natalie never crossed into sexual territory. Even the queen writes that “My Frederick did visit me while I was ill to flirt with the Romero girl. She smiles and giggles behind her fan and even goes so far as to place a small hand on his knee while they talk but I have heard them whisper that she refuses his summons to the bedchamber. I wonder if she fears me.”

Or perhaps she just enjoyed the king’s prolonged interest as few flings he had with ladies-in-waiting lasted more than a few weeks. However, his attraction to the Lady Natalie spanned until she left in 1755 after Queen Lilia’s tragic demise, citing her now strong fear of the child bed as a reason to finally deny her king. 

[spade-riddles]

Submission: Adjusting expectations

Okay, guys. Wading in here where it’s possible no-one wants me, but … here goes. 

We - Kaylors - are in a hard place right now. People feel hurt, they feel hopeless. They feel like they were led on by the likes of Spade. I’m not here to invalidate any of the feelings that come from seeing Karlie and Taylor play out this charade.  

But I think we (collectively, as a fandom) need to take a breath and ask if any of this is really as bad or unfixable as we think it is. Because, for me, the recent stunting is hard to stomach but not truly surprising. On some level this is how I expected Karlie and Taylor to handle both the birth of the baby and the launch of the rerecorded albums. As much I wanted to believe in the idea of spring breaking loose and bringing with it a fervent revolution … I could see the pieces still in play on the board and I doubted it was coming. 

I think the problem is that there was a split between the optimist and pragmatist sides of the fandom, over the last year or so. To be clear - I’m not judging the optimist side of the fandom. Not at all. Taylor has pulled wildcard moves before, and emotions run so high in all this, especially with a baby involved now, that I don’t blame people for wanting to believe the best. But it reached a stage where some of the things people were trying to talk themselves into were just wildly unrealistic. And when that happens, of course you’re going to get hurt. It’s inevitable. 

But let’s really look at this for a second. We should have known that neither Karlie nor Taylor was going to be shaving her beard in March. Ditching Jerk right after or just before the birth would have been too soon for Karlie. It’s not unusual for a celeb marriage to fizzle out within a year of the birth, but before the baby even arrives? That would be weird, and would draw attention just when it seems Kaylor don’t want it. They just had a baby. That’s an adjustment in itself, and Karlie is suffering enough social media hate on top of that. I wouldn’t blame her for just wanting to take a break and lie low during this difficult time. And unfortunately, for Karlie, that means maintaining the status quo of the situation she put herself in with Jerk. She may be doing the bare minimum to maintain it, but if she wants to avoid attention, she has to make it seem like everything between her and her “husband” is normal. And that she’s trying to make it work, which I believe will be important later. Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships. 

Toe wasn’t going anywhere either. Taylor had relied on him so heavily during the promotion of Folklore, with the William Bowery narrative, that she was almost backed into a corner. She had to give some allusion to his air quotes “creative input” and their so-called happy relationship, or her failure to do so would have become the story and overshadowed her night. The headlines would have either been break-up speculation or complaints that she didn’t give him his due. We think the cutesy coverage after she named him in her acceptance speech was bad, but negative headlines have a far longer shelf life and can take on a life of their own. They would have been worse. Whatever we might think of Taylor’s actions, Folklore is one of her best albums and she deserved to have her night. 

So, on to the announcement of the birth. This is a tricky one, and again, I completely understand why people reacted so badly against it. It was everything we as a fandom said we didn’t want. It was Jerk using the baby for personal good PR. But I have to be honest here. I always thought we were kidding ourselves believing he would NEVER be seen with the baby or implied to be the father. I do believe Karlie is doing her damnedest to minimize the digital footprint of his involvement and keep her actual baby out of it. But he was always going to get to bask in the glow of playing daddy for a while. It’s the trade off Kaylor made when they used him to shore up their closet. 

This is also why I increasingly suspect the timing of the announcement got the green light from Kaylor too. If Jerk was always going to be assumed to be the father of Karlie’s baby, then there was always going to have to be a birth announcement that incorporated him somehow - unless the girls were ready to answer awkward questions, and it doesn’t seem like we’re there yet. So the best way to minimize the damage is to have his moment of glory overshadowed by a bigger win for Taylor. It worked pretty well actually. Even on Kaylor blogs the stunt was mostly buried by Taylor content.

I know a lot of fans feel gaslit by all the hints, but I do think there’s a possibility Taylor really didn’t grasp how hurt Kaylors would be. From her perspective, she “fed” fans three times over that night. She gave us a beautiful performance, a gorgeous red carpet moment, and a win to celebrate. I think it’s possible she really didn’t realize the double whammy of stunting that night would make it all feel worthless for many.

Taylor is in an awkward position. As a consequence of Kaylor retreating into the closet, the support base for them has shrunk. (When I use the words “Kaylor fandom”, I refer to this support base.) I would say Kaylor fandom consists of two parts. There is a silent portion, who observe events and comment anonymously, but don’t say anything “on main”. And then there are the small corps of true believers, who think Karlie and Taylor are still together and the baby is theirs. This latter group do most of the actual talking about Kaylor, but they tend to be pretty battle-hardened. They’ve been around for years, they never believe any of the stunts and their capacity to be hurt by them is, as a result, pretty limited. These Kaylors criticize sometimes, but they tend to fall back in line eventually and mostly adopt a “let’s wait and see how this all shakes out” approach. The problem is that I would say these “chilled” Kaylors are the minority. For their own sanity they curate their blog experience and often don’t post the more negative anons they get. Which is fine, but if you were looking at it from the outside, I could see how it might create an impression that the fandom as a whole can roll with the punches. And for a lot of the silent majority, that’s not the case. 

But again, I can see how Taylor might not necessarily know that. She went quiet after the Grammys, when I might have expected more celebratory posts from her. If I had to guess, I’d say she didn’t expect the backlash. I’m especially noticing a backlash against her for allowing Karlie to take so many hits while her own reputation has never been better. And I can’t defend her on that one, except to say I hope she has a plan. But I understand where people are coming from when they say the songs aren’t enough and actions speak louder than words. It’s tough to watch. 

Still, we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming. We should have known Jerk wasn’t going to be out of the picture immediately after the birth. This is one of those things nobody likes, but maybe we all just have to be patient on. I don’t see Karlie busting out of the closet to admit her marriage was a fake, or testifying to the FBI. I think she’ll just let her marriage quietly fall apart, as many real marriages did during the pandemic. And for that to work, she needs to make it look like didn’t throw away a family unit lightly. Hence the “I tried” post, the social media break, and the suggestions of spending time with Jerk’s family. All of this can be spun later into a narrative of Karlie having tried to make it work, only to never really be accepted. The hate online affected her mental health and she gradually realized how unhappy she’d become and decided she needed to break free and find her old self again for her baby’s sake. This is the most likely narrative for Karlie’s freedom and it’s one that could work - but it’s going to take time to unfold. Personally, I’m giving it a year. If we don’t see a separation by then, and definitive moves to a reunited Kaylor, I’ll be bowing out. I’ll still know what I believe the truth to be, but I won’t see the need to devote my energy to defending it. ,

Meanwhile, the masters rerecords are about to be released, and Taylor has invested a lot in their success. Because of this, I can’t envision her coming out until at least the big three (Fearless, 1989, and Red) have dropped. She might drop hints, but I don’t expect anything earth-shattering. Even the order of the album releases seems to confirm this. She’s breaking out the big guns first. 

I’ve seen people speculate that because Rep can’t be rerecorded until 2022, Taylor will hold off on any coming out until then. And I’m not so sure of that. Yes, people listening to the album for clues would give Scott and Scooter money, but if we’re being honest, a fair amount of people are probably listening to those albums already, regardless of the drama. Those sleazeballs are profiting from Rep, full stop. But if Taylor profits more, from her bigger albums, she still wins. And she can still put out a Taylor’s version of Rep with vault tracks and collabs, to seduce people away from the Big Machine version in early 2022. Honestly, I think there’s a good chance Taylor would consider this is a worthwhile trade-off anyway, if it meant she got to live a more open life with Karlie - and most crucially, begin to repair Karlie’s reputation. As children get older and the world begins to leave the pandemic behind, it becomes harder to live behind closed doors. I guess we’ll find out how Taylor finds the reality of such a life, and what she considers worth sacrificing to step away from it. 

All this to say: I can’t predict the future more than anyone else, but I don’t think the situation we’re in now is irreparable, and if we’re being really objective, I don’t think it’s even surprising. I do think Taylor should give us something, if she wants to keep us around. No-one can live on a complete absence of hope, and as I’ve stated, letting the fandom dwindle to this extent has its own dangers. But I think we also need to keep our time frames realistic, even if it means rejecting lifelines like the Spade riddles. We shouldn’t expect Karlie to be free of Jerk for around a year, and we shouldn’t expect Taylor to do anything much beyond general music promo until at least the big three have dropped. Sucks to say it, I know. But at least this way we won’t be disappointed, and if Kaylor do pull a wild card and move towards freedom, we can be pleasantly surprised. 

Just my two cents. 

___________________

Well written and fair arguments on our reactions and expectations. I had typed up more, but I will let others post their comments before I chime in.

[a-froger-epic]

You said Freddie "was in love with an idea of Mary". I don't understand this and some other people's opinion on this. They were in a relationship. They broke up, because Freddie was gay and couldn't have romantic relationship with her. They stayed friends, which isn't unsual (see Joe). He couldn't love her as a friend? Only "the idea of her"? She didn't deserve to be loved? Why is it wrong to ask Phoebe about her? Why the fandom tries to forget she ever existed? She's known Freddie for 22 years.

Alright, I will elaborate then since I think you've misunderstood what I said there, and that is fair enough because I didn't explain.

I'm really not keen on getting into any discussions about Mary, to be honest, which is why I said none of this is a hill I'd like to die on. I'm not interested in defending how Mary acted after his death, there's a lot of valid criticism and it's true that their relationship is and was often misrepresented in a way that is disrespectful to Jim and the very fact that Freddie was a self-identified gay man. So I understand the frustration with that. But anyway, here are my thoughts on Mary and Freddie and their actual relationship with each other.

Let's start at the beginning. Although none of us can really know what their relationship was like, I personally think it's clear that they clicked very well in the beginning, on some level.

Let me just pre-empt this again by saying that pretty much all of this is speculation and my personal opinion, I'm not trying to tell anyone they're wrong. This is just my take. Don't come for me. Let me have my opinion, please and thank you.

I think they fit well in the way that, knowing Mary's background (deaf parents, started working full-time at 15), she was very used to being in a caretaker role and Freddie liked, in many ways, to be taken care of. I think she was also somebody who was not very outspoken with her emotions, not very emotional overall, and I think that actually perhaps suited Freddie quite well. Because I think that her keeping her feelings close to her chest gave him the excuse to do the exact same. Why do I think so?

Having read Rosemary's book, it's apparent that she is a very emotional person and what ended up happening, is that Freddie opened up to her in ways he never did with Mary. He never, until their break up, let on to Mary that he wanted to be with men. Freddie and Rosemary, by contrast, were only together for a year or so and he could not stop talking about it. Rosemary was open, so Freddie was open. I think Freddie was a bit of a chameleon when it came to relationships, which stemmed from his deep desire to be loved and accepted. He wanted to please, he wanted to be a good fit for his partners. I think that was sometimes detrimental for him because he would push himself to be somebody he wasn't. I think incidentally with Mary it sort of worked out quite well for quite a long time. I think that while they did have feelings for each other, there was also a lot of unspoken things, an emotional distance, and I think that made it easier for Freddie to be in the closet as long as he was. Again, having to grow up so fast, I think Mary was someone who learned to swallow things down and not address them and just function. In a way, Freddie had a very similar approach.

Now, let's talk about love and what I meant by him being in love with the idea of her. I believe that Freddie definitely believed and felt that he was in love with her for much of the time they were together, in part because I think he really, really wanted to be. Here was this girl who was in many ways perfect for him, the kind of girl his parents were thrilled about. Also, quite importantly, somebody who believed in him and did support him. I remember seeing one interview with her where she says her first impression was that he was this charismatic, long-haired musician and seemed so confident. Not at all like the person underneath, I think she goes on to say. But it did give me the impression that being as young as she was at the time, there was definitely a sort of wide-eyed admiration of his huge personality there from her side. And I think that stroked his ego a lot. I'm sure that later on in their relationship, she did become somewhat disenchanted with him and most likely even frustrated with him much of the time, but again, being someone who keeps themselves to themselves, I think she put on a brave face and funnily enough he did the exact same thing.

It think that towards the end of their relationship, they functioned as partners, rather than a romantic couple. I think Freddie clung on for a very long time - if not forever - to some ideal of what his life should/could/might have been if only he hadn't been gay (internalised homophobia galore), and that is also what I mean by being in love with the idea of Mary. The idea of the beautiful fantasy relationship with a woman he was never able to live up to, and I think a lot of guilt stemmed from that, for him. That he should have been able to give her that, but he couldn't. That he had failed her. That, therefore, he had to provide for her as long as he lived. Because if he hadn't been gay, he could have married her and everything would have been brilliant - which, you can't tell me, that his parents did not likely think exactly that. I will eat a hat if his mother did not once bemoan that he hadn't or wouldn't marry her. Again, I repeat, this is some deeply ingrained internalised homophobia I'm talking about, I'd be hesitant to say that Freddie was even aware of it.

Now, here's the thing. Freddie was someone who could not be alone, we know this, and he was someone who could not let go of people easily. He stayed friends, if he could, with many of his exes. And I think he was terrified of the thought of losing Mary - who he was used to, who he relied on, who he felt deeply guilty towards because he wasn't the man she deserved - when their relationship ended. Basically, he wanted the to have the cake and eat it, too. And he got that, in a way. He did get to keep her in his life, she agreed to that, and I don't think that was at all times particularly healthy for either of them.

I think Mary resented that Freddie was gay. Again, I don't even think it was a very conscious thing, but I think she absolutely believed that if only he hadn't been gay, they would have been perfect for each other. I don't think she ever stopped feeling like he was the one that got away. I think this led to her deeply resenting a lot of his circle and his lifestyle, resenting having to be involved in it, which I think is a large part of why she burned all bridges when he died. I think she felt free from an obligation that she herself had put on herself. I think the woman could have done with some therapy, tbh, I think they all could have. Anyway.

When I read what Phoebe said in that interview, what jumped out at me was that this was an important dinner with Freddie's parents. I think Freddie took solace in the idea that he could bring Mary out to dinner with them and it was almost as if it was real. That they had the son they wanted, in the way that he knew they didn't. I'm tearing up writing this right now because it's really heartbreaking to me.

But that is what I meant by the idea of her. I think, also, Freddie was generally very romantic. I think he was a bit in love with love, overall. And I think he held that fantasy somewhere in his mind forever, of what could have been, if only. And I think Mary did the same.

Of course it isn't romantic. It's terrible, it's sad, there's so many things wrong with it. But that's what I think their relationship with each other was. I think it always carried an echo of his perceived failure to have been the man she thought he could have been, he thought he could have been, if only he hadn't been gay.

Tl; dr - I'm not interested in erasing Mary from Freddie's life, any more than I'm interested in erasing anyone else who was important to him from his life. I do think he had a lot of love for her, and she for him. I don't think acknowledging that takes away from his love for his husband or makes him any less gay.

[alarrytale]

I just don't get why people who think celebrities are closeted are continued to be labelled conspiracy theorists and mentally ill even after celebrities come out. When celebrities come out the majority of them have said they were straight at some point, and they also mention that they queercoded. Billie recently talked about her queercoding. She also lied about being straight. Yet people are still throwing tantrums and screaming at people to believe celebrities are straight when they say they are, and they tell people who pick up on queercoding that they're reading too much into things. They're yelling about one thing while being proven wrong and still continuing to yell. Isn't this gaslighting? Trying to make us feel like we're losing our minds? I also hate that they never apologize for bullying queer fans who were just responding to what they were seeing. They will come up with another reason to attack queer fans like calling them invasive or obsessed. I will never understand these toxic straight people and they're so hypocritical. They yell about queer fans being invasive and making everything gay while they're continuously speculating about celebrities love life and sex life, always with someone of the opposite sex ofc. I think they hate queer fans because they are ruining their fantasies and so they're trying to silence them. The bending over backwards to explain why their fave is engaging in gay culture... don't they ever get tired. I don't think they care about their 'faves', they just care about the fantasy.

Hi, anon!

No, they're not gaslighting the one's who were called conspiracy theorist by still yelling about said celebrity being straight. They're reacting to them being gaslighted into thinking said celebrity was straight. It must be really hard for them to wrap their heads around the fact that the one who they were convinced was straight and living up to their dreams and fantasies, are not straight after all. After everything pointing towards them being straight. It must be a mind fuck for them to realise they were fooled. It's probably a defence mechanism, and they're going through the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They're probably in the denial and/or anger phase if they're still lashing out at fellow fans after the celebrity has come out. Give it some time.

There is a lot of hypocricy going on. People speculate about other people's sexualities, relationships and private life all the time. Is x interested in y, will the Smith's marriage last, will the Johnson's get a divorce, will the Brock's have a second kid, will the ex-husband of the neighbour attend the neighbours funeral. Things like that.

There shouldn't be a difference between speculating if a het pairing are a couple or if a same sex couple are a couple. No matter their stated sexuality. Yet one of them threatens the fantasies of het women or goes against the celebrity's stated sexuality. We all know though, that almost everyone who is queer in the industry are closeted. We also know heteronormativity is a strong force making most people not notice people who aren’t straight. Still, speculating about someone possibly being queer isn't wrong. Celebrities lashing out at fans speculating or shipping them with the same sex are either closeted and often scared or homophobic. They don't mind being shipped with the opposite sex of course. It's hypocritical. If they're secure in their own sexuality they should be flattered or simply don't care.

A celebrity's sexuality shouldn't really matter when it comes to fans speculating, shipping, projecting and fantasising. A queer person should be allowed to ship a straight man with another a straight man, or dream about marrying that straight man or drool over that straight man. A het woman should be allowed to ship a gay man with a woman, or dream about marrying the gay man, and drool over that gay man. Let fans do their thing. Celebrities knows all this comes with the territory.

[daisyachain]

hi!! i've been reading through your ao no flag liveblogs lately and they're really interesting! i enjoy seeing someone so passionate about this manga and it makes me want to reread it .... i'm really interested in hearing what you have to say about masumi's ending though!! part of me thinks it makes sense but i'm mostly conflicted on it and would love to see it from your perspective ^^

haha well thank you! ah yes, the arc that created as much controversy as you can get in an active readership of like 10 people...

Blue Flag is an imperfect story, but it also gets a lot of flack for things that a) didn't...actually...happen, b) didn't happen in the way people think they did.

Part 1: Is it actually straightwashing?

The most common criticism I see of Masumi's ending is that she was written as a lesbian character and straightwashed at the end. Marrying off a female character as a way to 'fix' her issues is a common and harmful trope, and saying that lesbian women just need to get a man is a widespread homophobic trope and talking point. So, it's not a good look. To have a character angst over interest in a woman and end up happily married to a guy reads like a '50s pulp novel that just uses f/f attraction for marketing.

But, if the intention of the ending was to show that Masumi should give up on women and force herself to date men, then it doesn't. Mitsuyuki's description of her is 'look at my bisexual wife who has dated both women and men and could also have married a woman', which is an odd choice if the intention was straightwashing. It feels more like a clumsy way to make sure that, in a series full of ambiguity, there could be no argument that Masumi was queer. That isn't to say that cisstraight people don't view bisexuality as less/better than/straighter than her being lesbian and that making a previously gay character bisexual isn't still straightwashing (increasing the appearance of straightness).

Part 2: Was it actually a retcon?

So: Masumi's ending reaffirms that she's a WLW. One question is, was she always meant to be bisexual, or was she originally written as lesbian?

Blue Flag doesn't have a lot of straight (no pun intended) answers. Taichi never expresses any explicit attraction to guys, but there is enough subtext to suggest he's attracted to Touma well before the finale. Futaba believes she is attracted to Touma at first and is shown to be attracted to him using the visual shorthand of manga (blushing, etc.), but she later says that it was just misinterpreted admiration. Mami doesn't want to date Touma or any man, but she implies that she is attracted to Touma when she says around him she was 'glad to be a woman.' Within the main romance, Futaba says that it was specifically because Taichi was a friend to her that she grew to like-like him. The lines between friendship and romance are blurred in Blue Flag, and sometimes romance can only grow out of friendship.

Masumi has a tense conversation with Taichi in the first half after she breaks up with her boyfriend that most people (me included) read as her saying that she tried guys and she just isn't and can't be attracted to them. However, it's Blue Flag, so the conversation is unfocused and doesn't paint a complete picture.

"Even if I get a boyfriend, I can never make it work"/"I don't know why [I don't like him anymore]" seem to imply that Masumi realized that she was feeling compulsory heterosexuality and that she will never like men. "[I don't know] why he like someone like me"/"You can be friends with potential sexual partners? With both guys and girls?"/"I just wanted to hear how you men feel about [a girl liking other girls]" seem to imply that Masumi is bisexual and is afraid to date because someone might find out. Maybe she's written as questioning--she knows she likes Futaba, but she's feeling out other possibilities. It's Blue Flag, so it's unclear.

Part 3: How does it work with Masumi's arc?

Diving further into Masumi's story, she acts as a foil to Touma (and Futaba, see later). Touma feels free to show his affection for Taichi as a friend as well as a love interest and almost confesses to him of his own free will, well before he's forced to. Touma tells her that he intends to try and set Taichi up with Futaba (because they would be good for each other), and also that he intends to pursue Taichi in some way. He tells her he's "not like [her]."

For Masumi's part, she tells Touma that she wants to express more affection for Futaba--not necessarily in a romantic way, just to participate more fully in that relationship--but she's afraid to, she doesn't feel confident enough to try, and that she's "the worst" because of it. We see this theme repeated, that Masumi is pessimistic, is afraid to trust people and hates herself for being afraid. Her conversations with Aki and Mami explore this; Aki tells her that it's not bad to be insecure or unready and that it's fine to keep a secret/stay closeted until she's ready, Mami tells her that she does have people she can trust, who care about her and who will do their best to understand her and help out. Why am I typing all this out? Because Masumi is a bitter, insecure wlw and that is an Established Trope, but her twist on it is that her negativity or bitterness isn't over her attraction to women/to Futaba or even over the reaction she might get from others (as Touma's is), it's over her own insecurity. Like Futaba, she's hesitant to act on her feelings, and like Futaba, she gets frustrated and hates herself for her own inaction.

All that is to say--Masumi is never shown to have a problem with her attraction to women. Her angst isn't gayngst, she's not ashamed of her feelings for Futaba bur rather her inability to express them. Her problems are with social attitudes and more with her own personal feelings--she and Touma face similar problems, but Touma is simply aware of the consequences (being roughed up and ostracised by a certain group of people) while Masumi feels a more generalized and ambiguous fear.

If Masumi were shown to have mixed feelings about her queerness/were shown to be in denial/were shown to be trying to move on from Futaba, then her ending would read more as straightwashing. As it is, there's nothing in her character and arc to say that she'd ever want to erase that part of herself or get rid of it, rather, she wishes she could embrace it but she just doesn't feel confident in doing it. Her ending shows her as an openly bisexual woman who is out to her friends and husband at the very least, which is a completion of her arc in the manga (of learning to trust other people and express her feelings honestly).

Part 4: What context clues does the rest of the series give us?

This is branching off a little from the strict text of Parts 1-3. As I've said, as we know, Blue Flag is 50% subtext and interpretation. Characters speak, but they don't say what they mean, characters think, but they're not always honest with themselves or in tune with reality. Mami is an ominous and antagonistic figure in the first half, but then it just turns out that Taichi was jumping to conclusions. Taichi is the main character and narrator, but we get radio silence from him for like 7 chapters after the climax. Taichi is bisexual, but the reader has to guess that from the way the art style shifts between PoVs, the similar panelling between Futaba and Touma's confessions, the things he does and does not think about Touma and how he feels about them. It's safe to say that there is room for speculation.

First, there is no explicit evidence that Taichi could be bisexual before ch 54. It's easy to tell that he is, but again, there's nothing specific. Some people reading Blue Flag have said that him marrying Touma was out of character, unforeshadowed, bizarre, inexplicable, etc. because their experienced is coloured by their own heterosexuality. Masumi is shown to have dated a guy and in saying she didn't like him "anymore," implied that she did like him. Her conflicted feelings over her bf could well have been foreshadowing her liking men as well, and my reading that as comphet could have just been my own experience colouring the text. Who knows! Taichi's bisexuality was intentional from the start but could be read as a last-minute twist, so why not Masumi's?

Second, Mitsuyuki is Futaba 2.0. Same colouring, same personality. This could feel like a way of saying "Masumi just needs to like guys instead," but to me it reads deeper with some of the trans subtext around Futaba. One of my issues with Blue Flag is that it doesn't go further into Futaba's admiration/envy for masculinity and her uncomfortable relationship with femininity. As a cis woman who wants to be buff and mildly masculine, I can understand why she's a cis girl throughout and I don't necessarily think that she was supposed to be a trans guy. However, her relationship with masculinity draws a parallel to Mitsuyuki. Reading Mitsuyuki as a cis man, he is the combination of Futaba's personality and looks with her 'ideal form.' So, Masumi marrying Mitsuyuki can read as Masumi marring Ascended FutabaTM.

Third, Futaba having a faceless prop husband is interesting in the context of Mitsuyuki getting a name and personality. Mitsuyuki = Futaba and Mr. Kuze is a blank space, so the reader is prompted to reduce the scenario and slot Masumi into that blank space. Given Masumi and Touma's history as foils, I'm inclined to think that Mitsuyuki exists to show the road not taken. Back at the fireworks, Touma tells Masumi that he hasn't given up on Taichi, and Masumi says she doesn't intend to pursue Futaba even though the pining is making her miserable. Given that Futaba reacts a lot better to the idea of Masumi liking her than Taichi reacts to the idea of Touma liking him, given that we see Masumi has successfully wooed male!Futaba, I think that Masumi's ending shows that she could have ended up with Futaba if she chose to pursue her. She didn't and she still got a happy ending where she is confident in her sexuality and unafraid to trust, but she could have also had a happy ending where she married Futaba. Mitsuyuki is a man because desire-for-masculinity is a key aspect of Futaba's character, and Mitsuyuki is a named character with a personality because KAITO wanted the reader to know that Masumi could have ended up with Futaba (as Touma ended up with Taichi).

Fourth, KAITO's notes on volume give us a few hints. He comments that there was remarkably little interference with his story and that he was able to tell it as he wanted, and that the ending was meant to be a "question" to the reader. The way I see it, Masumi's ending wasn't meant to say "maybe you'll be fixed if you get a man" but rather was meant to complement Taichi's ending and say "things happen in ways you might not expect, but that doesn't mean they're bad."

Fifth, Touma/Taichi ending up together shows us that the series is willing and able to show queerness as a good thing and a happy ending, so it's unlikely that Masumi was meant to come off as "actually she just needed a man" and more as "life can be unpredictable but you can always find happiness"

Summary

It's unclear whether Masumi was written as a bisexual woman or a lesbian woman or a questioning wlw

I personally read her as a lesbian and I wish that part of her character had gotten more exploration

Masumi's ending wraps up her arc (struggling to trust other people with her feelings in general and her queerness in particular) in a satisfying and logical way

Masumi being bisexual does not in any way negate or lessen her identity and experienes as a wlw, bisexual people still face external and internalized homophobia and all the associated issues

Masumi's bisexuality may well have been foreshadowed, but the execution makes it easier to read her as a lesbian, which makes her ending seem like a homophobic cop-out in the style of the Hays Code

Masumi's ending doesn't straightwash her and goes to unusual lengths to affirm her attraction to women

Masumi's ending seems to be written to contrast Touma's ending, showing that getting or not getting the love interest depends entirely on whether you choose to pursue them

It's unlikely that authorial intent was to straightwash Masumi