#historians would call them really close friends

[joghurt-und-glas]

Betten-Freund, der [bɛtn-fʁɔɪ̯nt] (Substantiv, m.)

Das Florida-TV-Sprache-Äquivalent zu dem, was Historiker*innen "really close friends" nennen.

[twilightspinkyfinger]

A Talk of Scars

Part of the Hyrule Historian AU, for more information, check out my masterlist.

Warnings: angst, scars, mentions of death, blood, canon typical violence

There were many things that went unspoken amongst the chain, and for the most part, scars were one of them. The specific details of your and Wild's past were also one of these unspoken topics.

You assisted Wild in his journey to defeat the calamity and that journey left you both with more scars than you could count, both emotionally and physically.

Wild had chosen to share some moments of vulnerability with the chain, as he felt like he knew these men already, the soul of the hero binding the Links together. You on the other hand were not so quick to divulge your secrets to the chain.

You did not become close friends with the chain until after the whole debacle of them misunderstanding your relationship with Wild. They had been too afraid to get close to you, lest they make Wild jealous. However, after the air had been cleared, and you had clarified that you and Wild you in fact not in a romantic relationship, many members of the chain started to open up to you.

That being said, some things are better left unspoken.

There was one particular scar that littered your body that you tried your best to cover and never mentioned it or the events that gifted your skin the twisted ruby mark. This behavior was not for your own sake, but rather the sake of the hero who mourned letting his best friend sustain such an injury, for the hero who continued to mourn his failures.

However, sometimes secrets become uncovered and there is nothing you can do to stop the flow of emotions that follow such a poignant reveal.

You had been injured, a Moblin had slashed a fairly deep wound into your side. The boys circled around you after the battle, as they managed to not sustain any injuries themselves, they moved to help their fallen companion.

Wild knelt down beside you, ordering that you remove your tunic so that Hyrule could treat the wound. You hesitated, knowing what would be revealed if you followed your best friend's command.

After a moment of pause, you finally decided to lift up your shirt revealing both the Moblin slash and the massive burn mark that covered your entire stomach. You could feel Wild's eyes linger on the scar, deep in thought, clearly remembering what had caused the wound.

Both you and Wild were on the last leg of your journey. The only thing that needed to be done now was to enter Hyrule Castle and defeat the calamity once and for all. That sentiment was clearly easier said than done. Hyrule Castle was utterly infested with monsters and guardians alike, that was no secret, but your duo was definitely not as prepared as you should have been.

You tried your best to keep your guard up, you really did, but the exhaustion from fighting had more than cemented itself into both of your muscles. Wild seemed even more distracted than you. He was hellbent on moving forward no matter what, and had little regard for his own safety, or yours for that matter. This behavior worried you, and so you had taken it upon yourself to monitor the blond man's movements. After all, the kingdom of Hyrule really couldn't afford the hero failing for a second time.

It happened so quick. You were quick to notice the red beam of light that centered itself on the hero's back, you knew there was no time to call out and warn him. Instead, you did what you thought was best for both Wild and the people of the kingdom, putting your own body in between the hero and the cruel blast of the guardian. White pain seared through your body as you pushed Wild to the side with all the force you could muster.

Your body collapsed, ears ringing, and vision splotchy. Your brain was foggy but you were still conscious enough to register the fact that Wild was parrying the oncoming beams of the guardian. When the beeping had finally ceased and the mechanical beast lay unmoving, Wild ran to your side.

His hands lifted you up, trying his best to reposition your body so that he could administer first aid as soon as possible as a growing puddle of blood formed beneath you. As Wild moved to hand you a healing elixir, you raised your hand up to push it away. Confused and panicked Wild attempted the same thing and once again you refused his assistance.

"Stop being so stubborn or you are going to end up dying! Let me heal you please," he voiced quickly and full of fright.

"No, you need the all elixirs you can get for when you face the calamity, I don't want to be the reason the hero of Hyrule was one potion too short and couldn't vanquish the scourge of Hyrule," you stated simply despite the pain that engulfed your body.

"Absolutely not, I am not leaving you here to die," Wild commanded as his hand moved to open the cork of the elixir.

You looked up at your best friend before sternly voicing, "I will happily die here by myself if it means that the entire kingdom is safe. You know how bad the monster attacks have been recently, Zelda needs you now."

The argument continued to go on for several minutes before Wild finally conceded to leaving you to bleed out. The only thing that convinced him to move forward on his quest was you stating that he was only prolonging your pain, and if he left now and not a second later, then there was a chance that once he defeated the calamity, there wouldn't be a dead body, your dead body, laying on the side of the castle.

You lay there by yourself bleeding out, praying to all that is holy that Wild would be able to save Hyrule and that your sacrifice wouldn't be in vain. You tried your best to hold on to consciousness but you were fighting a losing battle.

Wild flung himself at the Calamity with such force and anger that he even worried himself. But he had a mission to complete, he had to get back to you, and he couldn't let another one of his friends die because of his failure.

As soon as Zelda returned to the surface of Hyrule and put an end to Ganon, Link took off running towards the Castle. Zelda worriedly followed him trying to figure out what was going on. It was when they arrived before you that a great sense of dread could be felt in the air.

Wild collapsed next to you sobbing and checking for a pulse that was no longer there. It was then that Zelda walked up behind the hero and dropped to your side as well. In a last-ditch effort, Zelda reached out and engulfed your body in glowing warm light. It was then that your heart restarted.

"Stop staring at it, I am fine now aren't I?" You said dismissively as Wild eyed the mark the guardian left on your skin. The wound on your side had just been healed by Hyrule and you were about to put your tunic back on.

"You died, that should have never happened," his harsh words rang out. Each member of the chain snaps their head in your direction. Sure they had heard that the champion had died and got back up to fight once more, but you? They had never heard that story, at least not until now.

They would ask questions later, but for now, they would respectfully ignore the new piece of information they learned about their dear historian.

Clearly you and Wild had a lot you needed to talk about if the tension in the air was anything to go by. Time ordered that the others leave the two of you alone for now, and you were once again left with your best friend by your side, begging you to see the fault in your sacrifice. He didn't care that Hyrule might have fallen, he only cared that you fell, that your heart had stopped beating, that you had left him to fend for himself without you, he only cared about you.

[halfratsalready]

The Unhinged Jack x Wanderlust Conspiracy Board Explained

A few days ago I posted this silly conspiracy board I made for a slideshow night with my friends where I talked about how Ubisoft loves to deny Jack x Wanderlust and everyone seemed to like it so here’s an in-depth (and I mean in-depth) explanation of everything on it.

We start, of course, with Si’ha Nova and the Traveler, and Wanderlust wearing his dad’s cape at the beginning of Canned Heat because it’s super cute.

And you can’t talk about this ship without the moment from Majesty that perfectly mirrors the moment from Save Your Tears because genuinely why would they do this if they didn’t want people to ship these two? (Rainbow flag added for ✨flavor✨)

I also thought it was worth mentioning that the only time we ever actually hear any of these characters speak across all 14 lore playlist maps is literally Wanderlust calling out Jack’s name.

And now it’s time for the part that I like to call Ubisoft’s crusade against a monster of their own creation (because look at those last two points and tell me they didn’t do this to themselves. You can’t.)

Now in making this I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Ubisoft isn’t being as harsh on the ship as we’ve been thinking, because “they’re such good friends” and “best friends” with a thumbs up automatically reads as very sarcastic and joking to me, like all the memes about “historians will say they were close friends.”

Then there’s the infamous in’s and out’s New Years post, but what I hadn’t picked up on until I saw this screenshot from Twitter is that the inclusion of “normalize being evil” on the in’s list is rather suspicious and that, according to Just Dance, “this was posted by Night Swan’s army.” So I feel like that’s worth mentioning, because it casts a different light on all the other things on the lists. As in including Jack Rose in the in’s list since he’s the only one she didn’t corrupt yet and she wants to do that this year? And putting stanning Jacklust on the out’s because she’s evil and doesn’t want us to have nice things? Not too sure but hey, if someone better at analyzing things wants to look into that, I’d be down to read it.

(I also think it’s worth mentioning that “worrying about getting a Megastar” is included in the out’s list when the tweet just before that one is encouraging players to get Megastar on Zero to Hero, so some more contradictions there, but that might not mean anything, given that Night Swan’s whole thing is perfection and I feel like she would definitely be in favor of worrying over getting Megastar.)

Plus there’s the pretty popular belief that they’re just pointing out how stupid of a ship name Jacklust is, but I’m personally not at all sold on this being the reason, even if Jacklust is a stupid ship name. (I told my friends the ship name during this presentation and one of them said “Really? Wanderrose was right there.”)

Lastly, I threw Night Swan in there because of the theory that Ubisoft is denying Jack x Wanderlust because the Traveler is Jack’s father. Now, I have opinions about this theory and I hope it’s not true for obvious reasons, but I feel like if it is, it’s a serious oversight on Ubisoft’s part.

Firstly, if they’re half siblings why did they recreate the move from Save Your Tears in Majesty? Seems odd to have half siblings recreate a pretty iconic romantic duet moment.

There’s also the fact that we can clearly see that Wanderlust takes physical traits from each of his parents - his mother’s blue skin and his father’s dark hair. If the Traveler is Jack’s dad, why don’t they share any physical characteristics? At the very end of the beta for Sweet Dreams (spoiler?) we see Night Swan with green eyes, unlike the yellow eyes she has in the rest of the dances we see her in. (While this could just be an older design choice, I personally interpreted this as meaning that her eyes were green before she went evil and then they turned yellow.) In all of his character artwork, Jack’s eyes are green, which I take as meaning that this is a trait he got from his mother. So I personally feel like it only makes sense for his father to have red hair (and we’ve got plenty of options to pick from with that criteria).

But hey, that’s just a theory… I don’t need to finish that part, you’re already thinking it. Thanks for reading my insane ramblings!

[22ayla19]

Summary: You took an oath that even if you die, you will definitely meet in your next life, under the same pomegranate tree where you first met.

Warning: AU, mentions of death (reader died in a past life), reincarnation, angst, tarot reader, clairvoyant.

From the Author: I was able to complete the world quest with Deshret only recently and gods, how mesmerizing it is. I'm very interested in the desert, it's a pity that there is little lore on it.

To say that I’m not like everyone else, everyone will think that I’m an upstart, posing as a simpleton, but I’m really different from ordinary people. You see, I am a person with an unusual gift, I can see spirits since birth. They say that newborn children and animals are very sensitive to the paranormal, my parents believed in this up to a certain point, until I grew up and began to scare them with the words “Mom, dad, look! There’s Aunt Bella!” Yeah, Aunt Bella, who died in an accident due to the fault of one drunk driving... Mom then almost fainted.

That's pretty much how all the paranormal stuff started with me. I am already 25 and roughly speaking, I have become a local fortune teller, as some call it, which sounds very rude, since I am a clairvoyant and a tarot reader to boot. Of course, I charge for my services, but it happens that sometimes deceased clients come to me, that is, spirits who ask me for help, to finish things or say important words that they did not have time to say during their lifetime. Honestly, I would not pay attention to them, but there was one case when I ignored the spirit and as a result, the daughter of a deceased woman died at the hands of her husband. I still feel guilty for not warning that girl...

Fortunately, today is my day off and I can take a little break from the daily hustle and bustle. I decided to lie in bed and watch Egyxos at the same time. So what? I live alone, no one bosses me around, I can at least be a child alone with myself. Since childhood, I have loved everything connected with Egypt, and I am studying to be a historian and the topic of my diploma is Ancient Egypt, the secrets of the pyramids and pharaohs.

My joyful and exciting mood was ruined by a call from a friend. Still, it would be better to set the “do not disturb” mode...

- Hello, friend!

- What do you want (F/N)? Get to the point, you wouldn’t have called me if it wasn’t very, very “important,- I answered my friend displeasedly. Well, it's true! I told her not to call on my day off, but she again probably asks for a triangle layout for the first men she meets.

- Well, you’re so mean,- she pouted, for sure. - In short, I met two guys here, they’re so nice. One is so tall that...

- I don't care what they look like. Their names and two bottles of cognac at your expense, and I’ll make you a triangle layout - I’m really not interested in her personal life right now. I value (F/N), but she is very amorous and after a couple of betrayals, some scoundrels (which is putting it mildly), she is desperately looking for that very man who will only love her and not get under the skirt of others.

- I guess I’m tired of you with my men, aha-hah... Sorry, Y/N...

- To hell with you. I’ll make a schedule and bring some booze to me next weekend. Agreed?

- Agreed! I'll be waiting for a message from you! Bye bye!

- Where are you going?! Tell me the names of your men! How can I make a schedule for you? - how I love her instant forgetfulness with all my backside.

- Oh, oh! Andrew and John are their names.

I made this triangle layout and purely theoretically, something might work out between her and Andrew, but it depends on both of them, I can only suggest a possible scenario. But John has something dark behind him, so it’s better for a friend not to get too close to him. I wrote the message, and then it’s up to (F/N).

I would like to eat some fruit now, I really want pomegranate or pomegranate juice, but the only option is to leave the house and go buy it, but I’m too lazy. Eh, there’s nowhere to go, maybe I’ll buy myself something else, I’ll go and get ready quickly.

It didn’t take long to get ready, only about 10 minutes, I left my apartment and went towards the supermarket. Already on the spot, I began to look for the fruit I needed. I quickly found it, took the bag and, touching the pomegranate, I had a vision.

Love... such a strong feeling, but at the same time weak. One day my love destroyed the one I loved very much. I don't want... I can't lose you too...

My habib albi, you yourself said that love is a very strong feeling, so let me become your strength, your support in such troubled times.

My Merit...

I want to share my love with you, like I once shared a pomegranate with you. Even though I am destined to die as an ordinary mortal, I will definitely return to you under that pomegranate tree where we met.

The vision disappeared, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. This is the first time something like this has happened to me. I have experience as a clairvoyant, but for some reason I felt empty and lost after this vision. I didn’t even want to buy pomegranates, but since I came to buy them, I’ll buy them. Although it is interesting that similar visions will continue to appear.

. . .

A month later I went on a little trip. I needed material for my thesis, and I would draw it from the history of Egypt itself. Of course, now it is possible to find the missing information on the Internet, but it is still much better to see all the secrets of Egypt for yourself.

The strangest thing is that when I arrived in Egypt, visions began to torment me. From them I only understood that the king fell in love with a girl who became both strength and weakness for him, but because of the unrest in the country, both she and he died. It’s a sad story, but there’s something left unsaid in it, but I can’t figure out what it is.

Today I have a meeting with an expert who will talk about Heliopolis, one of the oldest and most important cities in Ancient Egypt. The meeting with this expert will be the last, since after this I will have to return home and complete the material for the diploma. It’s sad, because I want to know even more about Egypt, it fascinates with its secrets.

I was supposed to meet with the expert in the park near the museum, but since I arrived earlier than the appointed time, I decided to take a walk to pass the waiting time.

Walking through the park, I noticed a pomegranate tree. It’s strange that it is in such a place, but looking at it, for some reason I remembered a fragment of my visions, where the king met a girl under a pomegranate tree.

I walked up to the tree and began to look at it. An ordinary fruit tree, there is nothing so distinctive, but for some reason it attracts you. It’s as if some unknown force wants to say something, but cannot.

For about 5 minutes I stood and looked straight at the tree that I didn’t even notice how a fruit fell from the tree, but it fell not on the ground, but on my head. I managed to catch the pomegranate in my palm, but my head now hurt from the blow.

- Miss, are you okay?

- Yes, I'm... fine..

Looking at the man who was looking at me worriedly, I felt a surge of joy, happiness, but also bitterness. I felt the same as in my first vision about the Tsar and my favorite, but for some reason it was joy that I felt.

It was at this moment that, out of luck, another vision came to me.

My dear, Merit... I could not protect you, I could not protect my people... My ambitions became the grave of both Nabu Malicath and you. If my sacrifice can cure the plague on my lands, then I will give my life without regret. My only wish is to meet you in the next life under the same grana tree where we met.

- Maybe you should still go to the doctor, miss? - the man became more worried at the sight of my numbness. I couldn’t tell him to his face that I was imagining a moment from the past. They'll take her for a crazy person.

- Everything is fine with me. There’s no need to worry, I’m just tired after several weeks of work - it wasn’t a lie, since I’m really tired, but I won’t tell just anyone about my paranormal powers. Although the words “just anyone” do not quite apply to this situation. It’s difficult to describe in words, because looking at the man in front of me, I felt that I could trust that he was someone I once knew, the feeling of deja vu did not leave me.

- Excuse me, have we never met before? You just seem very familiar to me...

- Oh, it’s unlikely that we’ve ever met, this is the first time I’ve seen you, miss. Perhaps my words will seem absurd, but maybe we met in a past life?

The question itself sounded like a slight flirtation or even a joke, but for some reason, behind the man’s back, I saw a shadow, or rather the image of the king who appeared in my visions. Time seemed to stop, I didn’t hear anyone, as if I had fallen into a trance, but the man’s voice made me realize one important thing.

- I have been waiting for our meeting for a long time, my dear Merit, - an important detail that I have been missing all this time. I was the same Merit from the visions. More precisely, my past life. And the man in front of me is the same man who swore to wait for me in my next life. He is the same king who sacrificed his soul to stop the plague because he could not save the life of his beloved.

[aniniskyrim]

oc: Winlyn, Imperial, TESV Skyrim

An Imperial scholar from Cyrodiil dedicated to Dwarven history. She traveled to Skyrim to advance her research on Dwemer technology and society.

She would eventually fashion a Dwemer prosthetic arm and hire Sulana as a bodyguard, but the two would later be separated for reasons unknown to Winlyn. She believes Sulana simply abandoned her, breaking her heart.

off-topic, but my friends always tell me that all my Skyrim ocs look the same in-game and now I try really hard to make them distinct from one another 😅

Anyway, this is my Imperial oc Winlyn! She is also basically my way to explore my Dwemer lore obsession (srsly where did the fuckers go!!!) She is also just a historian in general tho, so she'll dig up anything.

illustration from my art blog here

In my canon, she traveled with my other oc, Sulana, for some time.

Lore:

A historian from Cyrodiil focusing on Dwemer culture and technology for her graduate research. She's merely the daughter of humble bakers, but her passionate drive for scholarly pursuits granted her many opportunities for scholarly sponsorships. Despite her upbringing, the environment of scholars in the Imperial Capital caused her to mask her personality, making her come off as rather anti-social. That is, unless she starts rambling about her research.

She left Cyrodiil for Skyrim in order to advance her Dwarven research. While exploring one such ruin, her and her bodyguard companions were overwhelmed by the animonculi inside. They made a break for it, but only she survived to leave the ruins. She would run into the bounty hunter Sulana during her escape, who insisted she could clear the ruins for her.

After a vicious adventure in the ruins, Sulana lost an arm, but the ruins were cleared for investigation. Winlyn fashioned her a dwemer mechanical arm to thank her, and asked that they remain together while she completes her research. They became close during their time together.

As they explored a ruin together, a cave-in caused them to get separated. Winlyn was trapped under the rubble for some time, trying to call out for Sulana to help her. Unbeknownst to Win, Sulana was ambushed and taken from the ruins while she was left for dead in the rubble. She managed to crawl her way to freedom after who-knows how long, but she couldn't find Sulana at the other side of the ruins.

Resigning herself to having been abandoned, Winlyn continues her adventures with temporary mercenaries she keeps at arms length. Yet she can't help but wonder where Sulana went.

Screenshots:

[mxlfoydraco]

hey! pretty new to the fandom and I’m looking for some specific fic that I cannot find through the tags on ao3. so I’m hoping you would be the place to ask, if not no worries <3 so I’m looking for drarry fic where they are at least 30 years old. like that's it, I just really love when they're older and find each other. if you happen to to know any good ones id love to hear. hope you have a good day!

I think they are 30 and/or over 30 in these but also the cut off can be iffy so be nice to me and nod along if there's a late 20s or sth in the mix

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Historians by @oknowkiss (29k)

It’s the Dumbledore’s Army Reunion Holiday, and Harry’s found himself in hot water with his friends once again, after telling them he has a boyfriend he definitely does not have. In an attempt to fix things, he’s made it his colleague on Level Nine, Draco Malfoy’s problem too. Featuring a ski chalet in Switzerland, a pair of bunk beds, and an agreement that should’ve been simple, were it not for all the bloody feelings getting in the way.

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Set in New York twelve years after the war.

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A trilogy of fics set in an Epilogue-Compliant Harry Potter 'Verse, with various accompanying time-stamps and one-shots. Fics are in chronological order.

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This is a story about two 52 year old men who refuse to age gracefully.

Harry Potter and the elusive day off by @fuckyoupbk (71k)

Auror Potter needs a fucking break. He is wiped. He is exhausted. He probably didn't intend to put himself into a magical coma but these things happen. And who cares, really? He is comfortable in a house where he has hidden away all the shit he can't deal with. Guaritore Christopher Black is an exceptional psychiatrist with a specialisation in sleep disorders. He is also Draco Malfoy in a Glamour. Minister Hermione Granger knows the dangers and the complications, but she needs her best friend back.

And, On The Other Side, A Welcoming Voice by @blamebrampton (38k)

For twenty years, the official history has told readers that Harry Potter died at the Battle of Hogwarts. The next edition is going to require some significant revisions.

Shine, Even in the Darkness by @raitala (41k)

Harry hasn’t seen Draco for over fifteen years, but now he’s showing up everywhere and Harry is sort of weirdly attracted to him, but that can’t be right?

Across the Multiverse by @hsvh-hp (108k)

Thirteen years after the war, Draco Malfoy is quite happily tucked away in the Department of Mysteries as an Unspeakable. When an Auror disappears through a broken Vanishing Cabinet, it presents the perfect opportunity for Draco's research to finally graduate beyond theory. Unfortunately, Harry Potter will also be along for the ride.

I Do Not Love You by Writ_and_romance (228k)

In 2013, a carefully-designed Obliviation leaves Harry reconfiguring his life and identity without any memories of true love; an act that’s essentially erased Draco Malfoy from his mind despite a wedding band and shared home. In 2000, Draco had expected Pansy’s relationship with Luna to bring the Gryffindors a bit closer to his orbit of quiet, carefully pacifistic existence, but he never expected to navigate such a transparent embrace into a unit of family, friendship, and love. A mystery, two love stories, and a reminder that learning to love never has an end date.

The Strongest Affinity by @eidheann (17k)

Trouble finding a wand for Scorpius leads Harry and Draco to something they never imagined. Career Choices: Harry: Wandmaker; Draco: Single Father/Hermit

The Beauty of Thestrals and Other Unseen Things by @writcraft (63k)

Harry has terrific friends, an amazing girlfriend and his job as Head Auror enables him to work on challenging cases and Ministry reform. He just wishes he could work out why he’s been so out of sorts. When Draco Malfoy is arrested for gross indecency, Harry’s comfortable life begins to unravel. He’s forced to decide if it’s worth risking everything for love in a world where following his heart is a criminal offence.

The Kisses Don’t Count, If No One Else Knows by oldenuf2nb (41k)

Minister for Magic Harry Potter does not love his job. The one bright point in his life is his secret relationship with Quidditch Super Star Draco Malfoy. When they're 'outed' by a peeping tom with a camera, Harry has to decide what's really important.

The Stars Have Courage by @fantalfart (85k)

Draco waited five long years to watch his husband wake up from a coma. He's not ready to meet a Harry with no memory of anything that happened after he died at The Battle of Hogwarts, twelve years ago.

Dwelling on Dreams by @the-sinking-ship (135k)

Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back home in Paris, where he belonged, in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals. Except Head Auror Potter is everywhere — in Draco’s chair, at his door, in his dreams. All six feet of motorbike-riding, combat-boot-wearing, sex-hair-sporting Saviour of the World packed into one unfairly fetching uniform. Potter won’t leave Draco the bloody hell alone, won’t let him breathe, let him forget, let him sleep. Because no matter how fast Draco Malfoy runs, Harry Potter is always hot on his heels.

[jeannereames]

If you could change or insert one aspect of the common pop culture picture most people have in their heads when they think about ATG what would it be?

I'm going to jump this in the queue because I can answer it swiftly, but also because I have TWO things that are personal pet peeves.

FIRST: That "historians" keep insisting Alexander and Hephaistion were "just good friends" in the face of obvious evidence to the contrary.

SECOND: Alexander called Hephaistion his Patroklos (to his own Achilles), and they used this comparison frequently throughout their lives.

So, let’s take on the “Fake News,” shall we?

The notion that "historians" keep insisting Alexander and Hephaistion were "just good friends" in the face of what would seem clear evidence to the contrary is over 50 fucking years out of date.

Are there “historians” out there who say that? Sure. But they tend to come in two flavors: 1) people who aren’t specialists, Hellenists, or even historians,⸸ or 2) Greeks.* Since Badian, Green, Hamilton, and Schachermeyer (et al.) took over Macedonian/Alexander studies mid-century, few specialists claimed Alexander and Hephaistion couldn’t have been lovers, or Alexander couldn’t have been attracted to men. Even Hammond cagily acknowledged it.

Yet—TBH—I don't think those who repost that meme really care. They just want a convenient strawman/whipping horse to make them sound "smarter than the experts."

You don't. You sound as if you haven't read much about Alexander since about 1975. Historians who have died of old age by now said Alexander and Hephaistion were probably lovers.

But that raises another problem: the implication that anybody who might argue they aren't lovers must be an old, white homophobic dude. Again, this is wrong.

The current discussion centers more on source problems, and separates Alexander having male lovers from Alexander and Hephaistion being lovers themselves (not the same thing, actually). Those making the best argument for caution are young, very much not homophobic (but absolutely brilliant) women (e.g., Sabine Müller). Follow the link to see a picture of Sabine, if you don’t believe me. I don't agree with her, but you can't shoot down her argument by screaming "Homophobe!" at the top of your lungs. The points she raises are all good ones and any responsible (and smart) historian will take them seriously.

As for the Alexander-Achilles/Hephaistion-Patroklos pastiche… yeah, sorry, no.

I realize this torques off folks, as it’s become a mainstay of queer culture surrounding Alexander as a gay icon and owes more than a little to Miller’s The Song of Achilles.

Busting it probably makes me sound like a Grinch.

BUT…the facts just don't support it. Yes, Alexander compared himself to Achilles--but not as much as to Herakles and Dionysos. Not even close.

How do I know? I COUNTED THEM. Facts ... not impressions.

After all, looking closely at what the sources (not impressions) actually say about Hephaistion is how I came to the conclusion the man was a lot more important than heretofore recognized. 😉

Again, as I’ve said elsewhere, Alexander did compare himself to Achilles. That’s not in dispute … it just wasn’t as frequent or common as modern fans like to pretend. And Hephaistion was compared to Patroklos only twice. There’s also a problem with WHO made those comparisons: chiefly Arrian. Again, I’ve talked about this elsewhere, so won’t go over it again.

Yes, I made the comparison myself in Dancing with the Lion: Becoming. But it concerned one circumstance near that book’s end (not giving spoilers), and isn’t something they harped on otherwise. That mirrors how it appears in our sources: it’s limited, and situational.

“Patroklos” was not Hephaistion’s nickname. Wish folks would stop claiming it was.

—————

⸸ Just because somebody is tagged “historian” on a History Channel special—or his own private blog—doesn’t mean they actually have a PhD, or even a Master’s, much less one in ancient history, Classics, Classical archaeology, or ancient art history. The number of idiots on Tik-tok yapping about how Alexander thought this or did that—and clearly know jack shit—routinely stuns me…even while it doesn’t. Dunning-Kruger Effect all over the damn place.

* Greeks must often work within the confines of official narratives in order to secure jobs and funding, which can limit what they say on certain topics, from who’s buried in “Philip’s Tomb,” to the Greekness of the ancient Macedonians, to any possible homosexual “taint” staining Alexander’s greatness. This may swim against the current of academic discourse outside Greece, even by other Greeks. The Greek Ministry of Culture and Sport has softened on some of these topics in recent years, especially as LGBTQIA rights have gained better traction in Greece.

[mimikoolover]

So I watched the Minimoni video just now, and 2 things:

1. I am sad that Namjoon prefers MUSE over Face. Mostly because imo Face is more interesting in concept, execution and lyrics. Oh well. Personal preference.

2. The concept for MUSE is, if I understood correctly, that all the emotions of happiness and excitement JM feels are somewhat temporary. Like a crush that just goes nowhere, it's built more on how your brain romanticises a person and less on who that person actually is. We get crushes on people based on a few minutes of interactions, but at some point that feeling fades. And to Jimin, that's kinda what his entire life feels like. As a GenZ (98), I relate soooooo hard to that. There's these moments of elation, when you do something fun, but soon enough real life kinda drags you down again. The future isn't that exciting to look at and hope kinda flies out the window. To be fair, for most of my generation that's based a lot in feelings of economic fear - sth Jimin doesn't experience- but I think he experiences a lot of other emotions that equate to sth similar. Especially since SK, like many other countries tbh, kind of seems to not take enough steps forward socially to combat all the issues created by the ruling classes of the last decades (aka Baepsae). Anyway.

These feelings of good moments and happiness being fleeting doesn't mean the moments or emotions in that moment were faked. But since it comes and goes, and the lows tend to get very low (also mental illness is a big part that doesn't get mentioned directly in MMM though Jimin has touched on it before), you tend to catastrophise a lot. It's like imposter syndrome for feelings of happiness.

As a separate closing thought: a lot has been made about Who as a song and how you'd fit it into Jikook. Or how it disproves Jimin being in a happy potentially queer relationship, but imo the MMM really highlights how the whole love and crush narrative of MUSE is just a big metaphor. It's not even about JK specifically, but I think it would do Jimin a huge disservice to assume that this album he has worked on for over a year just contains very surface level songs. Yeah, they are about love and yearning, but just like "Fake Love" or any song on the Love Yourself trilogy are about loving someone else on the surface, it essentially is an album about self-reflection. It can be both. Similarly, I find it insulting of people that they assume the "she" was forced on Jimin because he isn't in the credits of the song. As if they wouldn't have re-written the whole thing if it didn't fit Jimin's vision. Don't infantilize him just because it doesn't fit with our (yes, I'm a shipper) view of who Jimin loves.

"She" is a concept, a dream and not real. In that sense, "she" reminds me of Marlena - a female stand-in for inspiration and music as used by the Italian band Maneskin. But that's a reach. And I don't want to discount the literal layer of the song either. I personally don't believe Who is this big red stamp of "hey, I'm here, I'm not queer and looking for a woman to love, please call hit me up" others see it as. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't actually reflect how much Jimin is yearning for someone to love him how he wants to be loved.

I think Jikook is real because of how they behave around each other, and from how they talk about each other. Even the latest mention in MMM, how they (and Yoongi, poor 3rd wheel) spend hours talking about music and singing screams "and they spend the rest of their lives living together, historians call them very good friends" to me. But I won't be upset if it turns out, they did have relationships for years with other people. I won't make up theories and stories to invalidate whoever they end up spending the rest of their life with - we're not larries. Even if I find GCF Tokyo and Saipan, Rosebowl, the regular carrying and the 7000 other instances very hard to contextualise in a hetero way.

Sorry for the essay but I was kind of getting sick of all the sides currently out and about, both the antis and shippers need to chill out.

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts so thank you for sharing!

see I think for jimin muse as an album perhaps was more about his journey going through creating it, it was a labour of love and something he made from scratch with a team of people. it was probably a real challenge too and it seems like he went through a lot of growth creating this album. I think it's quite hard to judge the 'real' meaning of songs to jimin and everyone having their opinions is valid but as you said we would all do well chilling out😂for me this time it almost seems like the 'concepts' behind the songs are not as deep as maybe face was but the entire process of creating muse was more meaningful to jimin.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I know it is only anybodys guessing really, and I truly do not want to sound like 'the historian' but you would go as far as calling these relationships of napoleon 'homoerotic'? Why? Couldn't it be the case of him having just very warm attitude and be close to his friends like that?

Again nothing against it, but I needed to ask since I as well am the person to get alike towards my close friends and I don't feel it having any attraction undertones.

Thank you for the ask! As usual for me, my response got really long.

I mean correct! It’s literally anyone’s guess. Who knows? Certainly not me! Certainly no one who is alive right now!

I’m just a queer on the internet having fun who sees Napoleon and goes "ah yes, a chaotic bisexual even though the concept of modern sexual identity wasn't a thing in his time etc. etc. [insert all the other usual disclaimers required on this webbedsite]" so that's why.

[How do I know he’s a chaotic bi? Well, it’s very simple, he couldn’t sit properly in a chair, liked to sit on his secretaries’ laps, pull their ears, and tell them Fun Facts he learned that day, and wanted to make the tsar of Russia his mistress. He also dearly loved Josephine and wrote about how he liked going down on her. This is clear proof that he was a chaotic bi king and we should be so lucky to know this about him. ;)]

I'm also a writer who likes to slap a queer lens onto most things because that's how I role and I'm very unapologetic about it. Which most people who follow me know.

I’m also someone who has incredibly deep, intimate friendships with a close selection of people in my life that are not romantic/sexual or whatever in their nature—but they are incredibly intimate. They are friendships where partners of my friends have been jealous and insecure because of how close we are—which is a them problem, not an us problem.

I would go so far as to argue that friends are more likely to slot into that problematic category of “soulmate” than anyone romantic (ymmv). And from the outside, I’m sure people might read my friendships with a few people (have read them, in fact) as romantic/homoerotic and frankly I don’t care. Whatever. I know what my friendships are, why does it matter what other people read them as? More to the point, why does it matter that someone reads a dead person’s friendships as homo-something? How does that impact my friendships which may, or may not, mirror that dead person’s friendships? Who cares? One should love one’s friends however one wishes to. Fuck everything else.

--

In an effort to avoid the Great Queer Napoleon Discourse War of 2013-14 I shall include a disclaimer because hot damn do people get REALLY uppity about this: I’m a writer, first and foremost in all things. I’m not a historian. As noted above, I’m a queer fag on the internet having fun. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

(Honestly, doing anything with Napoleon’s sexuality aside from He Was the Straightest Straight Who Ever Straighted, gets everyone’s hackles raised. I think that says more about those with hackles up than it does the person going: maybe he might have had a bit of a queerness about him, it’s not implausible.)

--

Some general stuff on Napoleon & That Doesn’t Seem Entirely Straight, Even For the 18th and 19th Century:

From Cronin’s biography on Napoleon:

“Napoleon found that his friendships with men often began with physical attraction, and this took a curious form. ‘He told me,’ says Caulcaincourt, ‘…that for him the heart was not the organ of sentiment; that he felt emotions only where most men experience feelings of a different kind; nothing in the heart, everything in the loins and in another place, which I leave nameless.’ 

The feeling Napoleon described as ‘a sort of painful tingling, a nervous irritability…the squeaking of a saw sometimes gives me the same sensation’.”

In addition, Talleyrand speculated Napoleon and Bourienne were, uh, intimate in all senses of the word. Talleyrand, of course, well—one should treat his hot takes with some caution.

There is also the (in)famous letter Napoleon wrote to Josephine about Alexander where he said that he and Alexander were inordinately pleased with one another and if the tsar were a woman, he’d take Alexander as his mistress (Napoleon, honey, don’t write that to your wife).

I mean, do what you want with that. Take it for what it’s worth /shrug

---

Of the three friendships under discussion: Lannes, Duroc, Junot—I always read Lannes and Napoleon’s friendship as just friendship. Duroc and Junot though. That’s where we start getting into arguments for a homoerotic friendship—or romantic friendship, if one prefers that term.

I’ll do a little ramble for each, because they all deserve it.

Lannes

Napoleon’s friendship with Lannes was intimate, close, and they loved each other dearly—but as said, I always read them as friends. Even if they lived today and were free/able to be whatever they wanted to be to one another, it’d still just be friendship.

People did make Achilles/Patroclus references to them—particularly around Lannes’ death—but that was the mode of how people spoke back then. It’s the 19th century version of comparing everything to LOTR or Harry Potter (read another classical epic people, jeez).

Their friendship was volatile for sure—these are two hot headed, strong minded, opinionated men who were not afraid to snap and snarl at one another—but at the end of the day I do not doubt their love for each other. But it’s what we would term a platonic love.  

Brian Martin writes this in Napoleonic Friendship: Military Fraternity, Intimacy, and Sexuality in Nineteenth-century France:

Napoleon’s grief for Marshal Lannes took on the very public character of open lamentation. Rather than grieve behind closed doors and conceal his personal vulnerabilities in order to show public strength, Napoleon’s mourning for his beloved friend became a matter of great public spectacle. Like Achilles mourning his beloved Patroclus, Napoleon wept publicly and openly expressed his affection in a way that was widely reported, discussed, and admired by the officers and soldiers in his armies.

[…]

Napoleon’s public grief at the death of Jean Lannes represented a new model for social relations between soldiers in the early nineteenth-century France. weeping over his friend’s broken body, Napoleon demonstrated how the revolution and empire had made it possible not only for an emperor to grieve openly for a fallen marshal, but for a soldier to love his comrade. This uncharacteristic expression of affection between Napoleon and Lannes was echoes in similar relationships between officers and foot soldiers in Napoleon’s armies. Military memories of the first empire bear witness to a wide range of intimate relationships among generals, colonels, and captains as well as sergeants, corporals, and grunts (grognards), the infantry soldiers who made up the majority of the imperial armies. Napoleon’s love for Lannes might thus be said to represent a broad spectrum of masculine affection and intimacy in the ranks of the Grande Armée, or what could be called Napoleonic friendship.

So yeah, I’ve not much more to say on them. Their friendship was loving, affectionate, intimate, and complex. Lannes could be frustrated with Napoleon (often was, the longer Napoleon remained in power—because Lannes loved Bonaparte not the emperor), but Lannes loved his friend and Napoleon loved Lannes. But my read on them has always been that it was what we would term platonic.

------

Junot

This one is messy. Because Junot and Napoleon are messy people. I also think this one is the strongest case for “something more than friendship”. I personally believe Junot loved Napoleon in a deep, phenomenal, possibly obsessive fashion that absolutely was romantic—maybe sexual/erotic—and Napoleon for a time may have returned at least some of those feelings. Then it all went south.

I’m ripping a lot of this from a previous ask I received about Junot—since it covered a lot of the more romantic aspects of his and Napoleon’s relationship.

Junot and Napoleon were close friends when they were in their 20s. Incredibly close. Laure Junot, whose memoires one should treat cautiously, intimated that there was more than just friendship between them at this point. But if that is the case, we’ll never know for certain.

Brian Martin sums it up well (and saves me from having to dig out my copy of Laure’s memoir):

Soon after his imprisonment, Napoleon was released and exonerated, but with little money and no desire to take on a new military post in Brittany, he returned to Paris where, as Laure Junot explains, he lived with his comrade Junot and depended on his friend’s emotional and financial support … The 1794 letter from Toulon initiates a half-year period in the lives of the twenty-five-year-old Bonaparte and twenty-three-year-old Junot when … these ambitious young men relied on each other during their impecunious days in Paris. Describing how Junot “loved Bonaparte as one loves at the age” (1: 188), Laure Junot implies that the young Jean-Andoche developed an adolescent crush on Napoleon, as the two young men grew in intimacy.

[…]

Laure Junot tactfully observes many years later that it was difficult to assess the nature of these friendships [with Duroc and Junot] without offending their masculinity: “These are the very profound and abstract mysteries of the human heart. It is difficult to explain them without first wounding a man’s dignity” (11: 131).

In relegating Napoleon’s military relationships to the realm of the mysteries, Laure Junot defines Napoleonic friendship — long before “the love that dare not speak its name” was articulated by Lord Alfred Douglas in 1894 and invoked at Oscar Wilde’s trial in 1895 —as an enigmatic and unspeakable love incapable of being articulated without shaming a soldier’s manhood. Amid such ambiguity, it is unclear if such “mysteries” encompass both the emotional and the erotic. What is clearer is that Napoleon and Junot shared a degree of affection during their youth in Paris that was undeniably intimate.

As Napoleon climbed up the greasy pole, the power dynamic changed and expectations of interpersonal relationships became more formal putting a strain on his and Junot’s friendship. Junot, like many who knew Napoleon from the early days, loved Bonaparte, not the emperor. As Laure put it in her memoire: “Now let me explain the sadness and pain which afflicted Junot on learning that Napoleon was no longer his General Bonaparte of Toulon. Perhaps the affair simply followed a natural decline. But Junot … did not see it this way. He wanted reciprocity, which he craved even more as his own affectionate fantasies increased … He loved the man, not the emperor.”

In 1800, Napoleon named Junot Commandant of Paris on the condition that he marry because, it seems, there were too many rumours flying around about the two of them. (As noted above, Talleyrand was already making some “huh. Interesting closeness, there” comments about Napoleon.) Dutifully, Junot married Laure.

Junot always exhibited some signs of mental illness throughout his life and at one point he received a head wound (I forget which battle) that massively exacerbated whatever existing mental health troubles he had. (And note that this was one of many wounds - nor was it his first head wound. It’s just the one people in his own life pointed to as a moment of change.)

Junot had jealous and possessive tendencies, something that drove Napoleon a little batty, and they got worse. While Junot was in Portugal, and later Spain, he wrote Napoleon a series of desperate letters begging him to reappoint Junot as his aid-de-camp. We unfortunately don’t have these letters anymore, Napoleon was notoriously secretive and private when it came to personal correspondence and had a habit of burning lots of it. However, we do have Laure’s account of Napoleon’s reception of Junot’s pleading. Laure writes:

"Look here, Madame, what your husband writes to me!’ said the Emperor, ‘Read this and tell me if he sends you such letters."

I read these letters, and this caused me some pain: my husband sent me affectionate missives, but never in the tone of a lover; here were letters that resembled those between Julie and Saint-Preux, or those of the Portuguese nun.*

Napoleon then goes on and says:

“In admitting that Junot loves me more than anything in the world … [he demonstrates] that he does not love me more than his own ambition”

To which Laure replies:

“He loves you, Sire, more than all the honours that you can give, more than your crown, more than me perhaps, for it was pride that made me say the contrary just now, perhaps even more than his children!”

-

*Note: She’s referencing Guilleragues’s Portuguese Letters (1669) and Rousseau’s Julie or the New Héloïse (1761)

Also, as I said above, treat Laure’s accounts cautiously. As with all memoirs, she is positioning certain scenes with a purpose and some things are downplayed, or exaggerated, accordingly.

-

In 1813, Napoleon dismissed Junot from military duty and sent him off to be governor of Illyria which Junot, rightly or wrongly, saw as a form of exile. During his ambassadorship he famously entered a ballroom wearing nothing but his epaulettes and his medals. [above para' edited per conversation in the notes]

Brian Martin:

While one could blame Junot’s naked diplomacy on his progressive dementia, his shocking entrance can also be seen as a kind of buff rebuff to Napoleon. After a lifetime fighting for Bonaparte, watching shrapnel rip into young men’s bodies, leading thousands of soldiers to their deaths, and suffering twenty-seven wounds* of his own, Junot offered his own ravaged body as a hideous and spectacular product of Napoleon’s violence.

-

*Note: Junot says he had 17 wounds, not sure where Martin got 27 - unless there were wounds Junot wasn’t counting.

-

After this incident, Junot was swiftly recalled back to France where he soon after died by suicide.

In his final letter to Napoleon he wrote:

“I who love you with the affection of a savage for the sun, I who am entirely yours. Well then: this eternal war that we must fight for you, I want no more of! I want peace! I want finally to repose my tired head, my sore limbs … to enjoy that which I earned … with my blood! The blood of an honest man, of a good Frenchman, of a true patriot. I therefore ask, at last, for that tranquillity that I earned through twenty-two years of effective service and seventeen wounds from which my blood has flowed for my country, and for your glory.” (emphasis in original)

After Junot’s death, Napoleon ordered that Junot’s personal papers be seized and destroyed as he was afraid their personal correspondence might make its way to a public forum.

So yeah, Junot’s love for Napoleon was definitely on the romantic side, I would say. Because Napoleon burned all their correspondence we don’t know what he sent in reply to Junot—especially in the early days of their relationship. I suspect it was intimate and possibly in line with what Junot continued to send him throughout their life and like hell did Napoleon want that escaping to the public.

Anyway—Junot and Napoleon, I would argue definitely had some homoerotic/romantic undertones and such to their friendship. I think it was mutual in their 20s then Napoleon’s feelings retreated to more platonic but Junot’s never changed.

It just man, gives me strong flashbacks to when I was a teenager and one of my best friends at the time  declared herself my soulmate and carved my initials into her arm and left me a million and a half messages on the home answering machine and said that I was cold like Napoleon and she loved me for it etc. etc.

When I look at Junot and Napoleon I see myself and my old friend in all that glory of the strange complexities of young, intensely emotional and intimate friendships that absolutely blur the line into romantic/erotic.

------

Duroc

Ah sweet Duroc! Duroc who regularly compared himself to Junot in terms of his relationship to Napoleon.

Duroc to Laure Junot in May of 1813:  “Poor Junot! It’s that he’s like me! The Emperor’s friendship is our whole life.”

And again, this is from Laure’s memoirs:

‘Junot and some others,’ Duroc said to me, ‘misjudge me and misjudge my position as well. The Emperor would disgrace me if he made me a marshal of France. What would I do away from him? No doubt it’s a great honor; but my attachment to him, how could it not be affected by that distance? I love the Emperor as Junot loves him. And isn’t he going to choose the post of first aide-de-camp instead of that of governor of Paris? So why judge me otherwise!’

-

Duroc’s a hard one to pin down because he was such an exemplary marshal of the palace, in addition he left us no diaries or memoirs so we have the word of others and what survived of his letters, little else to go on.

However, I think it telling that Duroc compared himself to regularly to Junot—who everyone was aware of how he felt about Napoleon—and that Junot was so jealous of Duroc. That Junot saw Duroc as a rival for Napoleon’s affection and love but not Lannes tells me that clearly Junot could see the similarity of what Duroc and Napoleon had to what he and Napoleon may have once had but didn’t anymore. And, that Lannes was different. It was a different relationship and one that Junot didn’t find threatening.

It's also worth nothing that Duroc was the only one of Napoleon’s officers, aside from Lannes, who was allowed to use tu with Napoleon. Las Cases writes: “I’ve heard the Emperor say that in all of his military career, Duroc alone possessed his blind confidence and received all his affection … Duroc loved the Emperor for himself; he was devoted most of all to the private man, even more than to the monarch”

Duroc’s role as marshal of the palace also put him in an interesting position as a sort of quasi-wife to Napoleon. The role he played was very much a “wife” role—Cronin summarizes Duroc’s duties thus:

"Napoleon was struck by Duroc’s sweet nature, his beautiful manners and the patience which he himself lacked. So he employed his friend as a diplomat and when he became Emperor chose him to run the household and court. […] He had his hands full ensuring that the grocer did not overcharge for the Chambertin, since Napoleon would be sure to notice, and, as Napoleon put on weight, tactfully persuading the Imperial Tailor not to make new clothes but to let out the old ones a couple of inches. He also had to make peace when Napoleon lost his temper: pushing over the table, for example, when he saw crépinettes of partridge. He did this admirably, because he was devoted to Napoleon. Many a time, when the Emperor had hurt a visitor with a sharp word, Duroc would murmur on the way out: ‘Forget it. He says what he feels, not what he thinks, and not what he’ll do tomorrow.’"

No one else of Napoleon’s intimate friends really takes on that wifely role—even after Duroc’s death. Bertrand has the same role, Marshal of the Palace, and he was damn good at his job, just as Duroc was, but there was a difference in their relationship and Bertrand doesn’t read as so close and devoted on a marital level to Napoleon. Not that Bertrand didn’t love Napoleon, he did, gods know he did, but it was more in line with Lannes than Duroc or Junot.

Napoleon describes Duroc to Las Cases:

‘Duroc,’ concluded he, ‘had lively, tender, and concealed passions, little corresponding with the coldness of his manner. It was long before I knew this, so exact and regular was his service. It was not until my day was entirely closed and finished, and I was enjoying repose, that Duroc’s work begun. Chance, or by some accident, could alone have made me acquainted with his character. He was a pure and virtuous man, utterly disinterested, and extremely generous.’

[…]

When he [Napoleon] went to see Duroc, after he had received his mortal wound, he attempted to hold out some hopes to him; but Duroc, who did not deceive himself, only replied by begging [Napoleon] to make them give him opium. …

After this recollection, the emperor, with an apparent effort, began abruptly to talk of something else.

I believe that Napoleon and Duroc were able to see each other’s interiority in a way that few others were able to and that formed the basis for their affection, love and friendship.

Duroc’s letters to Napoleon, anytime they were apart, are also more intense than usual. Plenty of Napoleon’s friends wrote about wanting to be by his side when they were sent off on diplomatic missions or what have you. But Duroc’s express a particularly intense form of devotion:

Duroc to Napoleon, May 29, 1801:

I am waiting to leave, Citizen Consul, until I receive a response to the letters that I had the honor to write you, unless the circumstances or the letters I receive from Paris let me judge that I can leave earlier. I beg you to remember that I am eight hundred leagues from you and, although I’ve been well-received here, I am never better than when I am near you. (Emphasis in the original)

Duroc to Napoleon, July 7, 1801:

I have sought to conduct myself here, Citizen Consul, in a manner that would satisfy you. I am well-regarded and thought highly of everywhere because I belong to you particularly, but I will not be happy until I’m sure that I deserve your approval. I am waiting to set my departure until I know that you’ve received the letter that I had the honor to write you and that I sent with Captain Leclerc. I very much want to find myself near you as soon as possible. (Emphasis in the original)

When Napoleon offered to have Hortense marry Duroc, Napoleon’s proposition was that Duroc would receive five hundred thousand francs and be named commandant of the 8th military division and would be stationed in Toulon (Napoleon was against having a son-in-law in the house).

When the proposition was passed on to Duroc he turned it down because he didn’t want to be sent away from Napoleon’s side and if marriage meant being apart, he didn’t want it, even though from all accounts he was quite fond of Hortense (and she was fond of him).

Later, when Napoleon was having to negotiate his name in exile he said to Barry O’Meara:

“The name of General Bonaparte was the one which I bore at Campo Formio and at Lunneville, when I dictated terms of peace with the Emperor of Austria. I bore it at Amiens when I signed the peace with England. I should be proud to bear it still, but the honour of France forbids me to acknowledge the right of the King of England to annul the acts of the French people. My intention was to take the name of Duroc.”

But he felt he had to keep Emperor Napoleon in order to Make A statement.

In another account, I forget to who, he repeated his intent to have taken on Duroc’s name in exile in order to be a little more incognito/not draw attention to himself, but because England refused to acknowledge that he had been emperor he was like “fuck that, I’m going to insist on being called emperor”. So, had England not been like “you were never emperor” it’s possible Napoleon would have taken Duroc’s surname as his own.

How very married of them.

------

Apologies for the long reply. Not sure this will really answer anything, but it's an amalgamation of my thoughts.

Junot is the clearest of the homo-something friendship between Napoleon and another man. Like, I think that's a tough one to read as anything other than a messy break up. Which is why, when we were all nattering on about queering Napoleon in film yesterday, I focused so much on Junot over the others.

But same sex intimacy, even in Just Friends, can have homo-something undertones to it. Friendships can be complex, multilayered and include some romantic and erotic aspects to them. This doesn't mean those friendships are Romantic Relationships as we think of them, but if there's a romantic tinge to it, or a strong homoerotic tinge to it, then why not explore it? See where it takes the story or the interpretation and undestanding of the person and their actions. Maybe it'll go no where useful, maybe it will. Only one way to find out.

Thank you for the ask!

[bizlybebo]

May I hear Flick lore

/nf

HEHEHE MY LITTLE GUY,,,, a lot of it is. very handwavey but i do have a general story beat sort of thing figured out for him !!

basically he’s just. Some Random Kid. there’s no significance to that. he really is just some guy /gen. in the world i’ve built (name is a wip) poverty is common, and it’s also not rare for kids on the outskirts of the country to be orphans.

flick literally wandered the streets of a specific district like a rat (and had a lot of run-ins with an underground society of sorts that lives beneath the country) for most of his early life. he knew the stray cats individually and named them all and he knew his way around every alley and rooftop, which was what made him so hard to catch.

until one day, rosemary <33333 my beloved sees this little like. 7? year old just wandering the streets and is like hey. what the hell, goes to check it out, see if he’s doing alright, and after trying to confront him gently he manages to steal her watch.

it leads to this wild goose chase of sorts with flick remaining two steps ahead for soo long. like months on end. rosemary just wants to talk to this odd lil guy she sees on the streets by her shop and make sure he’s got a home and parents or something. flick just finds her entertaining + intentionally keeps her at arms length because of his inherent distrust in adults.

but anyways rose eventually coaxes him in and eventually basically adopts him !!! she calls him her protoge/mentee though.

rosemary’s an old shopkeeper lady, with her not-quite-wife jane (name subject to change cause i’m indecisive). they never really could afford to get married and their entire relationship is a kind of commentary on gay marriage/queer couples in general and having to hide. they’re “very good friends” in the eyes of historians, yknow.

ALSO JANE LITERALLY NAMED FLICK. HE HAD A PERSONALITY THAT RESEMBLED FIRE/SPARKS AND SO SHE NAMED HIM AFTER THE SOUND A LIGHTER MAKES.

ANYWAYS jane has magic. very few people have it in this world since it’s a bloodline thing and most of the people with magic have, unfortunately, been hunted for sport or forced into hiding. the abilities are kind of “watered down” over generations because of it. those with more earthly magic that pertains to the oceans, forests, etc. have been hunted for sport, whilst those with more “otherworldly” magic from a realm that was closed off long ago are often sought after for their different abilities: mainly healing and stuff to do with making deals/“lie detecting”.

all that to say that jane has the otherworldly magic, and spends her life in a sort of hiding because of that. when the government starts picking up on signs that she may have magic, she and rose go to the underground society mentioned earlier since it’s kind of a lawless land, and they’re hoping to find somebody they can bribe into changing her legal files to remove all suspicion from her.

in short, they can’t afford such a thing living in such a poor district. jane thinks the shop and flick are put in jeopardy by her situation, so she hands herself over to the authorities. having magic in this world can immediately grant a person a luxurious life in the upper districts, but it is one without freedom and you’re usually put in the servitude of certain influential figures. basically the government is VERY corrupt and exploits people with magic terribly, which is why it’s so common for people w magic to go into hiding.

ANYWAYS. that’s just flicks backstory really cause rose and jane are very important parts of who he is today. HE HAS A LOSER NERD BEST FRIEND NAMED APHID !!! aphid is not aphid’s. birth-given name nor his legal name, it’s a whole Thing since aphid is in hiding, but not for magic reasons. but they have their odd lil names together and they’re so codependent <33 if i kept taking this answer would be obscenely long

[linonyang]

FLUTTERING CONFESSIONS.

pairings: crystal fairy prince!jeongin and butterfly fairy librarian!gn reader

genre: fluff, fantasy, fairy au, barbie: mariposa and the fairy princess au

warnings: short lowkey suggestive content (they had a kissing moment please)

word count: 5.2k words

synopsis: it took you both too long to confess, and maybe things moved quicker when you two realized you should be expressing what your heart desires already.

tag list: @awooghan @cosmic-railwayxo ​​ @xiaoderrrr​ @hwangsify

note: hey! another wip that i got to finish already!!! just a little warning, things do get a little faster at the latter portion of the fic. the first part really was my unfinished part (that i wrote... last year) and it’s kinda long, so i just tried to continue it! i hope it’s still good tho :D enjoy!​​

© linonyang - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.

Supposedly taking you around Shimmervale again, Jeongin got distracted and ended up hanging out with you in your little getaway in the little library newly changed in your room.

“Mother will lecture me at dinner if I don’t walk you around the kingdom again,” he grumbles, free-falling onto your bed with his eyes closed.

Jeongin hears you answer his complaint with the sound of flipping pages, wonderfully engaging to a book you haven’t read yet back in Flutterfield. “You mean fly, your highness? I am very familiar with Shimmervale already, Jeongin. It’s not a requirement that you have to tour me around if I went here tons of times already.”

And that is his problem.

The queen always tells Jeongin to tour a guest around Shimmervale as a respectful form of welcoming them. It’s simpler compared to coping around at tea parties, but it’s something that he has to do out of respect. It would be rude to leave guests unaware of where they’re going.

“I told you, Mother’s going to lecture me if we tell her we didn’t go around Shimmervale.” Jeongin stares at the ceiling, admiring the decorations and lighting hanging around.

I didn’t know the lights here were that big for a small room!

Humming, he sits back up on your bed, poking your shoulder. “I can let you stay near the Heartstone again and call it a day if you don’t want to go around for the nth time.” 

The royal family adored you right when you became a great friend of Jeongin. When you two were young, the royal family of Shimmervale visited Flutterfield for a gathering with your kingdom’s queen.

A ball began, and both citizens of Flutterfield and Shimmervale attended. When you flew there with no knowledge of the people you’d encounter—especially your parents, who did not even say who were the special guests of the ball—you didn’t know you’d befriend the prince of Shimmervale. 

Every other kid who knew the privilege Jeongin held made them avoid him. The fact that he was a prince while they were commoners of their kingdom intimidated them. He felt left out, knowing that being in such a high position would always be a barrier to being a fairy like the rest of you. Meanwhile, you, who’s still learning about life and the world of fairies, shamelessly communicated with him and made him comfortable as a guest.

His parents discovered you are part of a family of marvelous professionals fairies could ever get, such as researchers, scientists, and historians. Hence, they found fascination with how you’ll perform once you grow a little older. 

And they did not look down at you even once — you became an intelligent young fairy who worked at the royal library of Flutterfield during your free time. They knew you’d be as great as your family.

Thus, they thought they should bring you to Shimmervale and join Jeongin in learning. After all, you two joined at the hip — it would be best to have two great fairies in the making to study and extend your education together.

Now that the two of you graduated. You visit Shimmervale occasionally, during your short breaks, as a holiday from working in the royal library once again.

Dropping your book to your side and glancing at Jeongin, an idea came into your mind. “How about we go around Shimmervale to look at the Heartstone and the crystallites above homes?”

The source of heat and energy for the people of Shimmervale doesn’t exist in Flutterfield. Those crystals have been a long interest of yours since your first visit to the kingdom when you were young. Jeongin once picked up some tiny bits of it and willingly gave it to you as remembrance, especially since he assumed you’d never come back‌. You tried to study these glowing gems and showed them to your relatives, who took the same interest in those as you.

Until this day, with hundreds of papers and books about these crystallites for everybody to read, you still think these crystals are so special. Imagine Shimmervale without the crystallites — they’d be nothing without those. Gemstones that might be useless to others are an essential piece in this kingdom.

To Jeongin, the crystals are nothing. He learned about the importance of crystallites and assumed they wouldn’t run out of them soon for a long time already. They had an abundance of it hiding behind the GlowWater Falls.

For the past years of visiting Shimmervale, you only crossed the waterfalls, obviously oblivious to the beauty there.

Jeongin hums and nods, still considering your suggestion for the tour. 

You sense hesitation behind your best friend’s eyes, noticing the subtle knit of his eyebrows and the pout of his lips. There’s something he wants to include.

Before you speak up about your small concern, Jeongin finally blurts out the question that has been running through his head. “Have you gone inside GlowWater Falls? How about we go there instead of going around the crystallites above the houses like last time?”

Pressing your lips together, you answer, “No. I know the crystals are in there, though. But are you really bringing me there?” You push Jeongin back down to your bed delicately, lying beside him. You lift his soft hands into the air, mindlessly playing with his fingers. You softly continue, “I didn’t bother getting in there because I might invade a space I shouldn’t be stepping in. So, no, Jeongin. I haven’t gone inside there.”

Well, isn’t it an excellent day for Jeongin? He finally gets to show you something new to you. He knows you’re tired of flying around Shimmervale like him. You two just do the regular touring to catch up on each other's businesses.

“How about I finally show you what’s in there?” He moves his head to the side, finding your face beside him. This intimacy has been natural, so being close like this has been a regular sight for some. 

Although, Jeongin tends to hold in the erupting butterflies in his stomach. He knows you’re an absolute sweetheart on a typical day, but he can’t help but feel something for you.

Funny to say, his parents aren’t even unaware of the blushes and uncontrolled smiles on his face every visit of yours. They had long known for his admiration for you whenever he couldn’t shut up about you when you were gone.

Should he confess later, then? The king and queen believe there is a long delay in his confession, and he should do something about it. The simple thought of his parents supporting him in pursuing a relationship with a special commoner of another kingdom already reassures him that things will be fine. 

Then, he will do it any time during the tour.

Or within your stay in the next few days? He’s so not sure about this.

He’ll just wing it later.

Jeongin calls out your name and ties his hand with yours, lightly shaking your hands together. He opposes your sentiment. “Going into the GlowWater Falls isn’t an invasion of privacy, by the way. Anybody can visit there!”

Your friend is trying to convince you so hard. Jeongin knows you have stepped into every place in Shimmervale except GlowWater Falls, which was weird for him.

It’s technically an attraction. Why haven’t you tried to visit there?

Your laughter fills the air, pulling his hand to your chest. You forgot for a second that Jeongin here is persuading you for an addition to the tour. His voice has given you so much comfort until the point you’d love to hear it all day without comprehending what he says. 

“As I said earlier, I know it’s a personal place for you. I don’t want to invade GlowWater Falls because I know it’s like an escape of yours.”

Oh, right, he mentioned that before.

A small surge of panic moves through Jeongin. What excuse would he say about that? The only reason the GlowWater Falls was very personal is that it also reminded him of you whenever you were away.

He’ll just mention that later on.

“Don’t worry about it! It’s a comfort place of mine. I think you deserve to see what’s inside an important space like that,” Jeongin sighs out of relief. “You are my best friend, after all. You should know why it is significant to Shimmervale and me. You did your best in learning everything about the kingdom already; it’s time that you get to see a special place with your own eyes.”

Your mouth fell open. Your best friend returning the favor with that big surprise stunned you. For your past visits, Jeongin always mentioned that he stays in GlowWater Falls in exchange for the loneliness he felt growing up. He usually feels that, so you thought it was a big deal. Stepping into a place of absolute comfort could feel like stepping into private property. It’s like diving deep into his secrets.

“If that’s what you want without feeling intruded on, okay then,” you nod, giving Jeongin a half smile. 

Jeongin moves even closer to you, your body touching his. He removes one of his hands from yours and lifts it to move some hair away from your face. Winking, he tells you, “You’ll have a great time. I’m very excited.”

You take in the sight of his face as he pats your head. “You were so serious every time you talked about GlowWater Falls, and then you’re joyous about it now. What has gone into your head?” you softly asked. Studying his face, you notice that he’s beaming with the corners of his mouth turned up and his eyes sparkling. He must be that excited.

Jeongin hums, returning his back to your bed. “I don’t know. Maybe I just have a good feeling of being more honest with you.”

Speaking of being honest, you forgot to give something to your friend.

A flutter flower.

You promised to give him another flutter flower. It would remind him of you while you’re gone. It all started when you gave him one on your first visit, and Jeongin impulsively gave you those tiny crystals because he loved the flutter flower and wanted to give something in return. After that, you gave him a flutter flower just to see him happy and amused. 

Hell, you even brought him references about flutter flowers so he could study them if he wanted. Give him another flower so he can feel your friendship's magic. You liked it to sign that your company is as powerful as that plant. You’ll always be there for him.

Pushing yourself up from your bed with your elbows, you search for your bag with the flutter flower, rapidly eyeing every corner of the room with anxious eyes. You sigh under your breath when you see the bag untouched and closed on your table.

Jeongin immediately senses the tension around your body, sitting up to check up on you. “You okay?”

You look at him wide-eyed, answering his question, “Yes, I’m fine. I thought I left one of my bags in Flutterfield.” Thank the heavens for being able to cover up your actual worry immediately. 

Before Jeongin asks more about that bag, you reach for his hand. When you pull him up from your bed, he squeaks, surprised by the sudden movement. “Be gentle! You don’t want to get exiled for accidentally stretching a muscle!”

“I will not get exiled, Jeongin. Your parents have exiled nobody for a few years now!” You laugh, pulling him along as you fly around your room to grab your needs for your tour around Shimmervale. 

Never forget your bag with that flutter flower!

“Oh, they’re going to do it for the first time in a while if something goes wrong,” Jeongin grumbles, feeling that slight sting on his arm from your hand. “But they love you very much, so you might be an exception if ever they’re going to — hey, _____!”

Jeongin groans as you drag him downwards to grab your shoes, your wings slightly hitting him. You chuckle, letting him go. “Alright, Jeongin. Let’s just get this over with.” You glance at him with a smile, tying the ribbons of your shoe around your calves.

“We’re leaving already?” Jeongin exclaims, moving lower to put his head around your head level. He flips around, seeing your head down as you tie the ribbon with pure focus.

You see him while you’re lying in the air, and you answer him. “Well, yeah. We have a long way to go on the tour, right? The whole kingdom and the GlowWater Falls?”

“You said a few minutes ago that you’re too lazy to leave?” Jeongin flaps his arms in the air out of exaggeration. “You said you wanted to stay here and read some books from the small library?”

On your last visit, you didn’t have a library in your room. The room reserved for you only looked utterly different until the royal staff applied the redesign to your liking. To your surprise, Jeongin was embarrassed to ask you about your preferences. He felt he was doing too much for you, mainly because he wanted you to feel at home in Shimmervale. But when he raised the suggestion to the king and queen, they were nice enough to follow Jeongin. They understood his intentions, which added to their never-ending proof that he’s absolutely in love with you.

Oh, he emphasized the library to the royal staff. He knows you’d feel suffocated with no book with you at all.

Thankfully, you arrived here last night with much satisfaction, giving Jeongin a tight hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, which the royal guards and his parents caught right at your door. 

You shrug your shoulders right after you finish tying your shoe. “Eh, I’ll do that tonight and for the next few days. I think it’d be better to finish the tour as early as now. It’s still noon, anyway.”

Well, you have a point. 

As payback, Jeongin playfully grabs your arm and pulls you out of your room to the palace's doors.

The hallways of the royal palace echoed with your shouts of protest, unable to catch up with the speed of the crystal fairy. You completely forgot that Jeongin is skillful with flying, perfect enough to fly quickly into obstacles and traps. Even with ups and downs, twists and turns around the palace, Jeongin has been flying around accurately. You wonder if he’s that skilled in flying or familiar with the enormous palace.

Unfortunately, rapidly flying around the palace means less time to admire the decor. The royal palace of Shimmervale is one of the most beautiful architectures you’ve seen. Walls painted with pleasing shades of pink and purple, windows of large sizes and abstract exteriors with natural light shining down on you — you might’ve thought you’re in an upgraded version of heaven.

“Can’t we slow down, your highness?” You grunted, almost avoiding one vase sitting on a table. Your butterfly wings cannot follow along, as it nearly hits one of the family paintings in the same hallway. “You know you can’t trust me with flight!”

“Coming from somebody who normally flies? And tortured me the same way earlier? I don’t think so,” Jeongin laughs, holding your hand tighter than before. “We’re almost there! We’re going for the quicker option, taking sharp turns around shortcuts and flying fast!” 

Jeongin screams out of joy, loving the feeling of the wind moving past him and his wings. He is amused at how you’re still keeping up with him. You’ve been at the edge of surviving this trip. He glanced at your face: eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched.

He concerningly sighs and slows down his pace, now holding you softly. “Sorry about that,” he says, pulling you down with him on the ground and hearing you stop him repeatedly from apologizing. “We’re out of the palace now, anyway. We can fly up there and hang out for a bit?”

Your head follows the direction of his hand — pointing to the Heartstone sitting on top of a tower nearby. The narrow building is taller than the royal palace, showing the Heartstone to Shimmervale. Even far from the tower, you see the greatest crystal of the land shining against the sun.

Delighted, you nodded and flew first to the tower, gripping your bag’s strap tight. The prince follows behind, his hands around his squinted eyes to see a more clear view against the sun. The sun is shining at this hour, making Jeongin hiss at the contact with the damaging sun rays before him.

Begrudgingly stepping into the highest and only floor of the tower, Jeongin holds on to the pole beside him. Pressing his lips together, he says, “That took me a little while, and I forgot how hot it is when the sun’s up.”

“You obviously don’t go out as a child, Jeongin.” You sit down on the steps towards the Heartstone. In awe, you look behind and scowl once the brightness of the crystal hits your eyes. “And you’re probably more used to seeing crystals than the sun.”

Jeongin puffs and stomps on his way to the space beside you to move your head away from the blinding stone. “Hey, I have gone outside lots of times already. Excuse me!”

The pout on his face made you chuckle. That is one of the most common signs that he got affected by your teasing. “I’m just joking, your highness. Sit down here with me, will you?” you asked, softly patting the cold tile on your side.

“Yeah, sure,” Jeongin grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Seems like you’re the royal here. I cannot believe I’ve been doing the grandest stuff for you for years.”

He’s too late to deny it. What else has he done aside from the room renovation and the touring that made him think he’s so in love with you? So much, so much that it is so hard to count with his own hands.

Yes, his parents were right. He’s that crazy.

Jeongin laughs at himself. It’s too late to turn back, and he has to release the feeling today. He could’ve sworn that he’ll keep it in for the rest of his life.

“Why are you laughing out of the blue? You finally realized how much you’ve done for me?”

Hold on, do you know about his feelings?

You probably do.

Cursing multiple times in his head, he immediately makes up an excuse for your question, “I guess so, but isn’t that part of my role as a host?”

You tilt your head and furrow your brows. “Do all hosts hang around the guest’s room every night?”

Ever since, Jeongin consistently sneaked into your room, seeing you in any area with a book in your hands. Frankly, he grew more comfortable in your room than in his own. He had the time of his life every night in your place. Pillow fights, movie marathons, book readings and discussions, and helping each other in academics — he felt like he did so much as a friend in a few months than years of existing as a royal. Spending time with you was always a precious time of his. He’d never trade it for anything else in this world.

Even rejection. The prince is too sensitive to that.

It is comical to see Jeongin as either this ray of sunshine or a cold winter — something that will depend on his mood. Whenever he’s around you, he’s a mess. He could get as soft and sweet as a marshmallow on his favorite ice cream or flustered and red as apples freshly picked from a tree. 

“Uh…” he dragged his voice, thinking of an answer. “Not all, but there are some.”

“Like you then?” you ask. “You know, it’s not a lie that you did so much for me.”

Should he insert his confession now while there’s a touching moment between them?

No, he can’t do it yet.

“That’s because you’re also my best friend, _____.” Well, that’s a great excuse, Jeongin. He huffs before continuing. “And I’d do everything for my one and only best friend.” He gets back up and sends you a warm smile.

You feel your cheeks heating from the sweet words of Jeongin. You always thought your friend was rather timid and rational, but he gets quite romantic and idealistic — especially when it’s about you.

A confession as platonic as this makes your mind wonder because of the possibility of it having romantic undertones. It makes you question whether that commitment will stay forever with the state of being friends — or significant others if things will change — which makes you slightly more determined to confess this overflowing love you feel for him.

“I’d do the same for you, Jeongin.” You reach for his hand and move your finger in circles on his palm. “I’m willing to do that again and again.”

The two of you didn’t take that long staying near the Heartstone. Jeongin was slightly overheating today — considerably, the weather was warmer than usual. Maybe Jeongin’s complaint over the scorching heat was more valid than you thought.

You two went straight to GlowWater Falls. It took you both a while because many commoners were greeting the prince on your way. Some even did the same to you. Those commoners have seen you with Jeongin throughout the years — “Are you two together?” as the usual conversation starter, making your heart beat faster.

The prince heard this question behind your back. It made him snicker several times. There was this rush of confidence when fairies finally noticed his affection for you through your frequent visits and tours around Shimmervale City. Not that he implied he does like you to that one kid who asked him the same question, but it satisfied him enough that citizens have noticed his growing care for you. He’d love to let the people know he’s in love with a butterfly fairy who’s inarguably esteemed and adored in their home.

When he finally brought you past the vines and leaves to the waterfalls, he can’t help but look at you. Your eyes are as shiny as the surrounding crystals, your light feet bringing you around, your hands playing with the small body of water nearby, and your head spinning to look at the stones above — a beautiful sight. He might admit that you can beat the crystals’ magnificence.

“I cannot believe this.” You pick up a rainbow rock near the pond, “I’m here.” 

You widen your eyes at the sight of the rocks in your hand. “These are iridescent! So beautiful, I haven’t gotten myself one of these.” All you’ve kept were the crystals the prince gave you. 

“I always thought of giving you one, but I thought it’d be nice if you discover it once you visit here and play along with it.” Jeongin picks up a few pieces from the grass and throws one on the pond, making it skip in the water in different colors.

Unconsciously, you cover your mouth out of shock. You steal one from Jeongin’s hand to do the same. “That is so cool. You should’ve told me it does something on the water. I think I never noted that.”

His fondness never fading away, he tells you, “It’s a surprise, _____. There are things I don’t want to spoil.” He giggles when your smile drops. “I just want to see how you’d react when you find out about something new, that’s all.”

“Just to tease me until my death, I’m guessing,” you grumbled. The crystal prince grins and pokes your shoulder, “Nah, I genuinely wanted to surprise you. Do you really have to make everything seem like a foolish act from me?”

“Yes, because you have been such a tease for all of my life,” you replied. In return, you also poke his torso, making Jeongin shriek and almost trip. You laugh and mumble, “You deserved that.”

“Though, do I deserve your love?” Jeongin mumbled. He can almost hear his parents’ words in his head. If you’re going to confess, make sure that you show how dedicated you are to declare your love.

He’ll never forget how the king shared how bold the queen was when she tried to steal his heart from other royalties. He thought it was a coincidence that his parents also met at a ball. She pulled him into the air to dance for the whole night. Jeongin wishes he was as courageous as his mother. The love of his life is already with nobody, yet he can’t seem to be straight to the point.

You could not notice your friend’s words by playing with the rainbow rocks. You look at him and ask, “What did you say?” 

Jeongin lifts his head from the ground to ask, “If you like someone, would you rather keep it or say it?”

You cannot help but tilt your head. “Say it. Why would you keep an intense feeling for someone? You don’t have to give a show just to confess. As long as your words are straight from your heart, it’d best to say it.” If only you could laugh at your answer, you would’ve done that right after you said it. You can’t seem to follow your advice.

“What’s the matter? Do you like someone?” you asked. You suddenly toy with your bag strap to wonder what it feels like to be liked by the prince of Shimmervale. 

Love makes your body mess up. Your heart beats faster over the idea of confessing to the Shimmervale prince. Your stomach aches out of nervousness whenever you finally have that chance to declare your love. Your hands sweat when he lays his hand on your shoulder. Your mind gets blank whenever you remind yourself how frequently you return to Shimmervale for Jeongin. Anything that has to do with your desire to be with Jeongin, you mess up and hold yourself back.

I’m going to do it, I have to do it. Jeongin scratches his head, “Yes, I like someone.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “It’s leaning towards love, but yes. I love someone, that someone being you.”

Well, so much for being dedicated. At least he was straight to the point. 

“I planned to confess to you so many times already, but none of them seem to work, and I chicken out every time,” Jeongin pushes your dropped jaw up and holds your hands. “Even if I thought I was going to mess up again when I finally get to bring you here, I guess I have succeeded, ‌right?”

Your short-circuiting brain makes you freeze on the spot. You thought of bringing out your gift that you’ve been keeping away from the boy with hopeful eyes. You drop your hands from his grasp and open the flap.

“Here’s something to tell you that,” you pull out the flutter flower from the bag and hear Jeongin gasp, “I feel the same way. Also, I’ve been trying to let you know, but I never found the right timing.” 

It’s Jeongin’s turn to freeze. His eyes move up and down — from the flutter flower and your face and vice versa. His heart might burst, and so does his eyes with tears. There was pining all this time, and he realizes he is as dumb as you for not realizing your love.

Everything you did for him means a lot to him. You gave him that true peace and silence whenever he visited your room. Your room was the perfect place for him to keep away from royal duties, reliving things children would do. Playing games together; studying for exams together; staying up late at night as secret sleepovers; reading books from Flutterfield’s library, and so much more. They might be simpler compared to his extravagant actions, but they’re still important to him. If not, maybe some of the most valuable moments in building your friendship.

He grins. “I noticed your eyes are shining brighter than the flutter flower and crystals.” As much as he missed the flutter flower (and still keeping the first one you gave him), nothing compares to the sight of your eyes shining. It reminded him of those eureka moments whenever you two are in class. He can’t believe he gets to see that kind of eyes again. That kind he observes on certain days.

You chuckle, “What if I say you look the happiest when you’re smiling?”

Jeongin returns the flutter flower to your bag. He gently grabs your hands, places them on his neck, and caresses your face. “I’d be the happiest fairy ever if it’s alright for me to kiss you.”

“Then, I’ll let you be the happiest fairy ever,” you close the gap in between. Jeongin closes his eyes and hums in delight. He ties his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You can feel him smiling. You stroke your finger on his soft cheek as you reciprocate, making him smile even bigger.

Jeongin opens his eyes. His sight is very endearing — you kissing and touching him gently. He feels all the love, and he can always return it. Jeongin closes his eyes once again and parts his lips from yours. 

You wonder why he parted. He surprises you with fervent pecks on your face, making you giggle and pinch his arm. 

“Hey, let me kiss your cute face again for a bit,” Jeongin mumbles again. He reaches for your hands. You let him, moving your face closer to his. “Go on, just let me do the same afterward.”

For a while, you two just pecked each other’s faces and giggle in the place where Jeongin feels most comfortable. Jeongin has added another justification to his list of reasons he loves GlowWater Falls — you.

Even after your cheeks feel sore from smiling, you’re unable to process the fact that Jeongin likes you back, and you two kiss. You thought it was a saving grace from all the horrendous times when you had to back out because you were unprepared or the moment simply feels off to confess. 

You two flew back to the castle when the moon was up. Jeongin’s parents greeted the two of you at the door, who also felt surprised when they saw you both in each other’s arms. 

“Are you two—” 

“We’re together now, mom. Is that okay?” Jeongin playfully asks, showing his hand that’s woven with yours. The queen and king sigh in relief. 

The king clasps his hands together, “Glad to know that you both had the guts to admit what your heart has been screaming for years. I think the queen and I have been waiting for this moment for so long!”

You smile, “I’m also glad, your highness.” You glance at the love of your life, “Should I extend my stay here, Jeongin?”

“Please. My son might go insane without you,” the king pleads. The queen joins in the ride and jokingly asks, “Can both of you get married already? Both of you are joined at the hip!”

“Mom!?”

“I think I know why you’re so lovesick, your highness,” you peck on his cheek.

The queen cries, “He’s blushing! He got it from us!”

[nerdygaymormon]

This conference was really hard for me and I'm relieved to know I'm not alone. Pres Nelson and Oaks' talks really made me reevaluate my place in the church and whether or not I want to be here anymore as a queer person. It just feels like everyone just wants us to leave so they can go on pretending the plan of salvation isn't presented in a way that writes out lgbtq people and does so cheerfully.

I also suffer from an eating disorder and when I tried to explain to my older sister in her late twenties that what president nelson said was hurtful, she told me that "well if food is your god, then you are offending the lord because it should just be Jesus. addiction is when something replaces god for you" which made me feel really discouraged and ashamed. Even though I know having an addiction isn't like that logically it still stung. I don't know. Basically I just want to say thanks for being honest about conference because I can't be at home. You're words have brought me a lot of comfort.

Back in the day I used to read blogs of queer Mormons, and they usually followed a similar arc. They were newly home from their mission and then had to grapple with the fact their queerness didn't go away. Things would start very faithful with a commitment to always be an active member, and would progress to them being more critical of the church and then no more entries.

Those blogs meant a lot to me because there was someone like me, but their story wasn't the same as mine.

When I started this blog, one of my goals was to write honestly about what it's like to exist in this space. I thought that one day historians would be interested in what it was like to be a queer person living through this period of LDS history. What did queer people at that time think, feel, and experience? What surprised me is that some currently-living people were interested in what I share.

It's always tempting to put a positive spin on things, to present myself in the best light, like I have everything figured out, but that's not reality. Sharing about being suicidal, crying about how hard therapy was for my social anxiety, my experience with reparative therapy, and how I was hurt by something said in General Conference are very much a part of this experience of being a queer Latter-day Saint, that's why I write about them in my blog.

Sometimes I worry I'm being too raw, too open, too negative, that I share too much. Your message is a good reminder that it's important to be honest so that we can see we aren't alone. Our stories have power! The power to help each other and the power to change the hearts of others.

———————————————————

I'm sorry you don't have family who you can talk to about these things. I don't either. Having a few close friends I can message about hard things is important to me and I hope you have some in your life.

———————————————————

What was said about eternal marriage isn't new, and I've built up some callouses to it, but to have it emphasized like it was in General Conference still hurts, especially how President Nelson linked queerphobic statements with "think Celestial."

Calling people sinners because they deal with mental health issues, like eating disorders, was unexpected and pierced me as I hadn't built up my guard against such rhetoric. Since I shared my reaction on social media, I've received many comments like your sister's.

President Nelson was a heart surgeon. Would he believe that people with heart issues were offending God, that they were worshiping their heart problem instead of God? What the heck?!! It doesn't make sense. Many people dealing with hard things turn to God for help.

I'm pretty sure God wants to help heal us. I don't think our personal trials offend Him. If anything, He hurts with us and for us. Jesus invites healing, not shame.

These "addictions" that President Nelson attacked are ways a person's mind and body try to cope with hard things. My mental health challenges come from being a queer Latter-day Saint and are ways my body & mind have coped with the emotional trauma and dissonance. So many queer folks have eating disorders and anxiety disorders. I'm glad our bodies protect us from worse consequences, but it sucks that this is a common result for queer people who try to be religious. Most non-queer members don't recognize there is a high cost to be paid by us, and I want them to know these are the fruits of the anti-queer teachings and policies

Please know you are loved. There is an online community of queer Mormons who know what you're feeling and who are pulling for you. If you need help, there are resources

please visit these if you are queer and need help:

Only to age 24: @trevorproject@utahtrevorproject (Utah) @encircletogether (Utah)

In Utah: @flourishtherapyinc @celebratetherapy

Active LDS: @liftandloveorg (national&online)

National: @glaad @988lifeline (involves law enforcement)

[sl-vega]

✧the slay anon saga✧

synopsis: all the posts recounting my investigation of the true identity of the SLAY anon. is it a romance? a friendship? a future rivalry? who knows

SEASON 1

01-the start of it all

02-i will find you

03-attention all suspects

04-it would be so sexy tho

05-must be good with your hands

06-slaying and slutting

07-trust issues for the win

08-they got me

09-a lead

10-denial will do you no good

11-you ain't innocent

12-a break-...for now

13-trust issues for the win: part 2

14-fanart coming in hot

15-trust issues for the win: part 3

16-trust issues for the win: part 4

17-gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

18-trust issues for the win: part 5

19-mlb or radio rebel?

20-fanart contest

21-og slay anon returns

22-fr fr slay anon returns

23-do you love me?

24-KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE

25-w rizz

26-slay was meant to be

27-the mask falls

28-KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE: part 2

29-first place goes to....

30-the true identity of fr fr slay

31-an ode to the og slay anon

32-THE GRAND REVEAL

SEASON 2

01-the legacy continues

02-to slay or not to slay

03-challenge accepted

04-bob-y count

05-surpassing the elders

06-training montage in the works

07-redemption arc lets gooooooo

08-betrayal but not really

09-audience appreciation

10-pleasing the og

11-let me show you how to slay

12-an ode to slay anon the third

13-evidence

14-GOTTEM

15-appreciation for the poet

16-(○~○')/

17-the slowburn ain't slowburning

18-you can be the sherlock to my watson

19-an ode the the slay anons

20-the most iconic detective duo

21-the game is afoot

22-BUSTED

23-oddly wholesome

24-reunion between the poet and king

25-i hereby announce

26-it's complicated

27-a proposal

28-the palace of evil

29-fucking great vocabulary

30-accidental reveal

31-case closed

32-the sin of stupidity

SEASON 3

01-oh god there's another

02-NEW FRIEND

03-potential leads?

04-the game is afoot! (season 3 edition)

05-they're after watson

06-preparing for greatness

07-washroom anyone?

08-oh god there's another: part 2

09-swearing to the g-man

10-putting in a good word

11-the fourth of the legacy

12-shoutout to watson

13-friend or foe?

14-the honest poet

15-technical warrant

16-loopholes be loopholing

17-remembering fr fr slay

18-equal footing

19-ultimate loyalty

20-RIVALRY ARC

21-rivals to lovers anyone?

22-historians called them rivals

23-flirting?

24-sex ed era

25-potential leads?:part 2

26-flirting

27-time for an interrogation

28-historian called them rivals:part 2

29-potential side ship?

30-inevitable disappointment

[livesinyesterday]

Manhunt (2024) ep 6 reactions [spoilers]

Show: Mentions the trial where Stanton and Lincoln first met Me: HELL YEAH! Omg they at least mentioned it :D Show: Has Stanton mention Abe wearing women's clothes Me: ....excuse me?? If this is a reference to the Baltimore plot, Lincoln did NOT wear women's clothing. He wore a general disguise that involved something like a felt cap and a scarf. People mocked him for sneaking into the capital not for dressing like a woman. I guess technically a handful of anti-Lincoln myths spread that he had dressed as a woman to sneak into DC but even the illustrations you see mocking him in newspapers tended to depict him in a ridiculous men's outfit looking cowardly rather than dressed in women's clothing. Meanwhile you can see a number of illustrations of Davis being arrested dressed in his wife's clothes.

Like I get the intention behind the line, they are trying to draw that comparison between the treatment of Lincoln and the actions of Davis but I think it just falls oddly to me. I feel like maybe a call back to the scene from earlier episodes where Lincoln was arguing with Stanton about letting people like Davis go free after the war would have been more powerful here. A "I told him these men were dangerous" type moment. Show: Includes Stanton wanting the body thrown in the water so there can be no shrine to Booth Me: yesssss. I am so glad they have this in here

Other Thoughts: I don't love the choices they made with having the Garrett daughter be a fan and supporter of Booth and having this pseudo flirtation between them. Accounts show that the whole Garrett family was home, not just the daughter, and the Garretts did not know who Booth was. He was introduced to them by a different name and were told he was a wounded soldier returning home. Some accounts say that the Garrett's became suspicious that Booth and Herold were horse thieves and that is why they made them sleep in the barn and locked them in.

However the scenes IN the barn with Booth and Herold were great. Loved David's "and what did your hands accomplish" and loved Booth's story about his mother, they were just well done well acted scenes. I appreciate that they also included that Booth sent David out saying "this man is innocent of the assassination", which he really did and their take on why is an interesting one (because we'll never really know why Booth did that). And depicting Booth suffocating on his own blood and saying "useless, useless' is pretty close to what accounts say happened and I think they did a great job with that. WHERE. WAS. LINCOLN.??? I so thought we were going to get another flashback during the conversation between Stanton and David Herold about friends but nothing??? Like I appreciated Stanton's line "If you had warned us, my friend would still be here" but this was your chance for a SCENE, show. Also, I don't know how I feel about the idea of Stanton being the one who removed the pages from Booth's journal. It is true that many pages are missing, most historians I have read believe Booth removed them himself but we don't know. It is interesting, I guess, to think of the possibility that someone like Stanton could have tampered with it. OVERALL I enjoyed the episode, but the show continues to make some choices where I am just like "oh...huh?"

[stiricidewrites]

All the Things We’ll Leave Behind: ch 34, pt 7

Hope everyone has had good weekends!

Previously

~

And then, there was wwx.

lqy might not know the man well, but she had heard enough about him to guess that he wasn’t married for a very specific reason. The man might not be obvious in telling the world about his sexual preferences, but they lived in a small town. People talked, although those rumours, from what she could tell, didn’t generally reach past the town’s borders.

Well, maybe they did, if the person were of a similar persuasion.

Outside Yiling, most people probably saw a man being kind to his pseudo-niece’s friend. To her, however, she saw more. She saw more than friendship or kindness to a younger alpha, because the older man had practically been vibrating towards lwj before he left for Yiling—not to mention when he had mysteriously returned. Her father had even called her, trying to convince her of all people to tell the man he needed to go back to work because “Shit was getting hot.” lqy wasn’t sure when her father had started to pick up his boss’s slang habits, but as amusing as it was, she hadn’t been about to let him talk her into approaching the chaotic alpha to ask if he was done messing with his younger alpha and was ready to return to work.

His younger alpha. lqy had been almost positive that was what was going on between wwx and lwj. She had seen the glances and fleeting touches between the two, each public interaction between them just polite enough that those who hadn’t heard the rumours would assume nothing was different about their relationship. “An older alpha taking a younger one under their wing,” that was all they would think of it. It wasn’t exactly uncommon. Historical evidence and ancient stories proved that similar relationships had existed for thousands of years. If historians often ignored the sexual undertone those relationships had had, well…

Now, however… watching lwj and jzxuan talk and smile and be so physically intimate, constantly just a moment away from breaking through to the side of “yeah, those two are obviously fucking each other,” she had no idea what to think. She supposed it was possible that lwj had that sort of touchy-feely relationship with everyone, although during the brief moments she had seen him with his brother, the two had barely touched. To not be physically close with an omega sibling, but be almost physically intimate with your alpha friends? And two brand-new ones at that?

It was strange. lqy liked strange, and she liked mysteries and she really, really wanted to figure out what the men were hiding, even if she knew it really wasn’t any of her business.

[sanctum-stinker]

What made you like wongrange? They're an interesting couple and I'm interested

Strap in folks this will be a long one.

I have a brief and summed up version of how I got into it, and I also have screenshots of the panels, pages and comic issues that feed my dedication to this ship. Read whichever you please!

Doctor Strange: Way of the weird is the comic run that made me ship WongStrange for the first time. It was my first comic, and my perception of Wong was simply what the MCU served us with Benedict Wong, so I was immediately drawn to his character. His dedication and loyalty to Stephen and his job, as well as Stephen’s attachment and care for Wong in this run made me raise a brow, as I had never expected them to be this close. Furthermore the marvel gods decided to gift us with a confession.  I later branched out to more comics and picked and chose moments that I liked and forgot the ones I didn’t. Way of the weird set the bar very high in terms of how people write Wong, so I was shocked at how vile and disgusting some of the things that happen to him are. The servant and Master dynamic is still yet to be fully addressed in the way I think it deserves, so the issues I have with their dynamic are still being written in at times. So yeah! I basically just weave my own narrative with the comic bits I like. The way in which I ship them (like most ships) is very non-canon, so I understand that it may be confusing as to why I even stand by this weird niche pairing. I just think they’re neat, and I think Wong deserves proper love.

Thank you for coming this far. Here are my beloveds!

Way of the weird offers us a look into their first meeting! This has been done many times before, but this run put a spin on it and introduces them before Stephen was a proper sorcerer. To see where they started out from and to see Wong’s ever present patience gives us such a neat little comparison to how they were to how they are now.

They also sprinkle little domestic moments in which I really love. Everything Wong does in this comic doesn’t feel too Servanty and more just… interior decorating? Also his sass and his witty remarks as he keeps up with Stephen, they are so good.

Wong’s deepest darkest fear is revealed to be Stephen’s death! Teehee giggle  this will not be heartbreaking in later years. Death of Doctor Strange I’m looking at you.

So many things to say of about the Mr Misery chapters. First of all Mr Misery, a being made of Stephen’s pain which lives off Stephen’s pain chooses to possess Wong knowing it would hurt Stephen. It also uses Wong’s memories and emotions against Stephen. There is literally a confession in here if you ignore the ‘like a father’ bit. I choose to perceive that statement as Wong being protective of him because he does act that way consistently throughout the comic run (sacrificial monk cult I will never forget you).

Stephen decides that to draw Misery back into his body he has to feel more pain than Wong is. He tries jabbing a hot rod into his neck, but the physical pain is not enough so he instead tells Wong he cannot love him or anyone else. The pain of this action is more than any physical pain he has ever felt, and is painful enough to draw Misery into his body. I mean, what do I even have to say. 

This scene pushed the ship for me. Until this point I was just raising an eyebrow and saying ‘it his is certainly fruity’ but this… historians would call them best friends I guess.

Moving onto Doctor Strange: Damnation.

Now this is a cool case because there’s a Stephen and Wong POV going on which is dope.

Marvel tell us what Wong was going to say IMPOSSIBLE EDITION.

This whole sequence is just very sweet. Wong had since left the sanctum because of a dubious decision Stephen made. The forgiveness, and yet again the patience Wong has with Stephen is so soft. Regardless of his opinions of Stephen Wong still dragged his ass out of Hell, and that’s something and a half. Also the way they look and smile at each other. Very platonic homie activity.

The hug, the promise to return, the hand on his shoulder. Yeah. Just very lovely.

Now onto Death of Doctor Strange. The title says it for itself! This shit hurts!

Wong has obviously since returned to the sanctum. This domestic banter is so good, the reminiscences on older times and the care Wong has for Stephen just shows and I adore it. Unfortunately this never happens again after Clea turns up, and Wong is sort of pushed into a background character which was a little saddening considering how important of a character he is and how much the next events effected him.

Wong was the first to notice and the first to arrive when Stephen was killed. He was already grieving when Zelma and Jericho turned up, and considering the fact he was in an art class means that he was there in a snap. 

The trauma of the memory of Stephen’s death haunts Wong and continues to do so until he is revived. It’s a little odd, as Wong is more openly reactive and weighed down by Stephen’s death than Clea is. Wong is a very calm, closed off and controlled person and I honestly expected Clea to be the one to be so emotional due to her warlord origins, but it was an unexpected surprise to see how he deals with it.

The fact that these two sentences come out of his mouth and not Stephen’s wife’s is peculiar. Honestly very fruity behaviour from Wong.

‘my’ sorcerer supreme.

The culmination of his guilt, anger and grief over the loss of Stephen bursting out in this violent rage was so emotional to see. Wong has very rarely if not never reacted this way, as i mentioned before he was always the calm and collected one out of the bunch. The effect Stephen’s death had on him will always be very important to me.

These are the only two images we get of their reunion which I thought was a bit stingy considering how much Wong went through, but it’s still sweet! Look at how happy he is!

Now for one shots which are unrelated to the main story.

What If Magik? Is a narrative in which Illyana Rasputin becomes sorcerer supreme. I consider this the prequel to Doctor Strange: The end, though I don’t know if that’s canon. It just fits very well and the art style is the same.

Wong explaining his relationship to Stephen while he eats his tentacle soup in the back is very funny and I love the art style and dialogue.

Stephen being Stephen and Wong being fed up is my favorite dynamic. Never gets old.

Illyana and her family. Just this whole sequence is very adorable and sweet. To be honest the whole comic is. This is a truly hidden gem, I’d recommend anyone to read it. Stephen Dilf era is canon in this timeline.

Doctor Strange: The end switches between being my favorite with WoTW because it’s so good but so short. There’s actually a lot of Wong content in this even though he is not physically there.

He’s a little memorial cabinet and just everything about this makes me go insane. Stephen is openly very protective of it, and also talks to it regularly.

In an attempt to keep magic alive he grave robs a bunch of old mystics and outs their bones in Wong’s cabinet which he Carrie’s around in his back and travels with. He also keeps talking to him almost constantly while he’s on this journey and it’s really bittersweet to see how lonely he is.

Just this dialogue and Stephen sleeping in his cabinet.

Another confession. This time just true and raw. I like that the ‘….’ Implies that Wong said it to him first. Stephen is willing to sacrifice the rotten remains of his friends to keep magic alive, but is very reluctant to throw a very willing Wong into the fire. Anywho, spoilers but after he puts the cabinet into the flames he climbs in himself and they burn together. Homie activity.

That concludes the selection of images I kept to prove my ship worthy to you all. I hope it was worth while! I am very passionate about them, so this was fun to write out. I’ve missed out a lot of good moments and even whole comics which have a good dynamic between them like Doctor Strange:Origin or Doctor Strange: Sorcerer supreme #80-90(?). Regardless, I hope this is enough to make you consider joining this niche community! We don’t bite!

If you have any questions or comments please message me! Never bored of talking about them.