EDITED TO ADD: Sources from the OP in the comments
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Historical house tours are so confusing. They’ll be like, “When we head upstairs, pay special attention to the Blue Room, where Colonel Thomas J. Shmoshington carved a suggestive message on the bedpost.”
And you’ll walk into a room with bright blue walls and be like, “Oh, I guess this is the Blue Room?”
And they’ll be like, “NO! This is the Red Room! It’s called the Red Room because of the red velvet curtains and canopy bed!” Then they take you into a white room with yellow floral wallpaper trim and go, “THIS is the Blue Room!”
And when you humbly ask why it’s called the Blue Room, they’ll scoff at you like you were born yesterday (rather than in 1789) and be like, “It’s called the Blue Room because it USED TO BE blue! The entire mansion is painstakingly restored to its appearance in the year 1812, which happens to fall during the two-year span in in which Abigail Shmaddison redid the room in white and yellow in a flight of fancy. After spending some time away in a sanitarium, she regained her senses and changed it back to blue. An archaeologist found an original scrap of the yellow wallpaper beneath 13 layers of paint and we were able to match it perfectly with this pattern, which was of course developed by Q.B. Zippitydoo & Sons in London and available for purchase only in 1812. Any more questions?”
So you hold your tongue until you enter a big green room that is so incredibly green that it can’t possibly be anything but the Green Room. It has acid green walls. It has bright green curtains. It has forest green tablecloths. There are ivy motifs carved in the ceiling. Cautiously, you venture, “So this is the Green Room?”
And they say, “NO! This is the parlor!”
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As someone who’s lived in the Deep South their whole life, this drawing of Engie as a lil kid personally offends me.
I don’t know who that boy is, cause I know for a fact Engie was a chubby lil redneck child shooting at beercans and small animals with a BB gun he built himself.
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The Saddest Girl In The World
Edwardian-ish ribbon corset with beading, 2023
Silk ribbon, cotton taffeta ribbon, Czech glass beads
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why is he holding a tamato berry
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What's K.O. CRISIS?
Hey all. Over the past couple months, I've gotten a lot of followers who probably don't know about my OCs and portfolio projects that I'm also working on, so I'm making a quick master-post for it!
K.O. CRISIS is a series of artwork––character designs, illustrations, sketches, and animations––inspired by late-90s/early-2000s anime and Y2K culture.
Set in an alternate-history Los Angeles in the year 2001, the story follows disabled Taiwanese-American Ashley Tang as she fights her way to the top of the bracket in the national augmented boxing championship.
As the youngest female fighter in the championship, she'll have to fight tooth-and-nail to defend her place amongst the heavy-weights. While her rare dual arm prosthetics help even the playing fields, it'll take more than brute strength to prove her worth.
But this isn't a story about an underdog triumphing against all odds. Throughout the story, Ashley will push herself to the limit for the sake of validating her existence under the grinding heel of the sports media machine, in a world that values disabled bodies more than their lives. As the championship rages on, one question seems to linger through the roar: Is Ash strong enough to win, or is she brave enough to quit?
Through the project, I'm hoping to explore representations of prosthetic-users in pop culture as "enhanced superheroes," as well as discussions of trans-humanism under medical capitalism, the fetishization of new technology, and the commodification of disabled people as entertainment.
Accompanying her journey include characters like Noora Balakrishnan, a local transfem prosthetics engineer who doubles as Ashley's ringside mechanical cutwoman.
The project is still in its early stages, especially since I sorta rebooted it earlier this year (meaning I'm no longer using past, outdated art for the project). If you enjoy it, you can find more artwork for the project under the #ko crisis tag!
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day 18: once upon a time ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
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Do you know about Tarrare? He sounds like an actual Magnus archives flesh avatar or something.
Yeah, I had a passing familiarity with him and seriously considered doing something in the flesh vein with him, but then I did a bunch of research on him and his whole situation, and the more I read the sadder it made me. Like, the dude was ill in some really intense ways and his life was mega tragic, so it felt like it would have been kind of a cheap shot to make him a fictional monster.
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Your Ancient History, Written In Wax
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Danny knew he should have put better security around the Sarcophagus of Eternal Sleep. It wasn’t even Vlad who opened it this time! The fruitloop was too busy doing his actual mayor duties because for some godforsaken reason, the man got re-elected.
No, it wasn’t Vlad. And it wasn’t Fright Knight, either. Nor the Observants. Who opened the Sarcophagus, then? Danny didn’t have time to find out as Pariah Dark promptly tore open a hole in reality and hunting Danny down.
The battle was longer this time. He didn’t have the Ecto-Skeleton, as that was the first thing Pariah had destroyed. The halfa had grown a lot over the past few years, and learned some new tricks, but apparently sleeping in a magic ghost box meant that Pariah had absorbed a lot of power. The bigger ghost acted like a one-man army!
Amity Park was caught in the middle of the battle, but the residents made sure it went no further than that. Vlad and the Fentons made a barrier around the town to keep the destruction from leaking. Sam, Tucker, and Dani did crowd control while Danny faced the king head-on.
Their battle shook the Zone and pulled them wildly between the mortal plane and the afterlife. Sometimes, residents noticed a blow from Pariah transported them to the age of the dinosaurs, and Phantom’s Wail brought them to an unknown future. Then they were in a desert. Then a blazing forest. Then underwater. It went on like that, but no one dared step foot outside of Amity. They couldn’t risk being left behind.
It took ages to beat him, but eventually, Danny stood above the old ghost king, encasing his symbols of power in ice so they couldn’t be used again. He refused to claim the title for himself. Tired as he was, Danny handed the objects off to Clockwork for safe keeping and started repairing the damage Pariah had done to the town. The tear he’d made was too big to fix, for now, so no one bothered. They just welcomed their new ghostly neighbors with open arms and worked together to restore Amity Park.
Finally, the day came to bring down the barrier. People were gathered around the giant device the Fentons had built to sustain it. Danny had brought Clockwork to Amity, to double check that they had returned to the right time and dimension.
Clockwork assured everyone that they were in the right spot, and only a small amount of time had passed, so the Fentons gave the signal to drop the shield.
Very quickly did they discover that something was wrong. The air smelled different. The noise of the nearby city, Elmerton, was louder and more chaotic. Something was there that wasn’t before, and it put everyone on edge.
Clockwork smiled, made a remark about the town fitting in better than before, and disappearing before Danny could catch him.
Frantic, Danny had a few of his ghost buds stay behind to protect the town while he investigated.
He flew far and wide, steadily growing horrified at the changes the world had undergone. Heroes, villains, rampant crime and alien invasions. The Earth was unrecognizable. There were people moving around the stars like it was second nature and others raising dead gods like the apocalypse was coming. Magic and ectoplasm was everywhere, rather than following the ley lines like they were supposed to.
Danny returned to Amity.
The fight with Pariah had taken them through space and time. Somewhere along the way, they had changed the course of history so badly that this now felt like an alien world.
How was he supposed to fix this?
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In the Watchtower, The Flash was wrapping up monitor duty while Impulse buzzed around him, a little more jittery than usual. The boy was talking a mile a minute, when alarms started blaring an alarming green. Flash had never seen this alarm before, and its crackling whine was grating on his ears.
Flash returned to the monitor, frantically clicking around to find the issue, but nothing was popping up. No major disasters, no invasions, no declarations of war. Nothing! What was causing the alarm?
Impulse swore and zipped to a window, pressing his face against it and staring down at Earth. “Fuck! It’s today isn’t it? I forgot!”
“What’s today?” Flash asked. He shot off a text to Batman, asking if it was an error. The big Bat said it wasn’t, and that he would be there soon.
“The arrival of Amity Park. I learned about this in school; the alarm always gives me headaches.”
Flash turned to his grandson, getting his attention. “Bart,” he stressed. “What are you talking about?”
Impulse barely glanced over his shoulder. Now that Flash was facing him, he could see a strong glow coming from Earth. “The first villain, first anti-villain, and the first hero,” he said anxiously. “They all protect the town of the original metas. They’re all here.”
“Here? Now??”
“Yeah? They weren’t before, but they are now. The first hero said there was time stuff involved, which was what inspired me to start practicing time travel in the first place.”
“I’m not following.”
“It’s okay. We should probably go welcome them before they tear apart Illinois, though. The history I remember says that some of them freaked and destroyed a chunk of the Midwest during a fight with each other.”
“WHAT?”
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Gonna make a controversial statement—people on this webbed site had more compassion for the poor white rural Trump supporters than they do for Jews
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my dealer: got some straight gas😜🔥this strain is called “a feast for crows by george rr martin (2005)”😳you’ll be zoinked out of your gourd
me: yeah whatever. i don’t feel shit
5 minutes later: dude i swear i just saw the putrefying corpse of my father’s legacy of systemic violence and societal rot in the woods
my buddy aeron pacing: the crow’s eye is lying to us
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Shang Qinghua is such a romance webtoon ass protagonist watch him get married to the Duke of the North for protection and tax reasons make his fief run so much better make everyone's life better make his expertise indispensable make his husband fall madly in love with him then worry about how he's getting divorced in 2 years cause their contract marriage end there and his gorgeous gorgeous husband having now filled the conditions and inherited his title as Lord of the northern lands will find a much higher status and prettier spouse the second the contract is over
Like Mobei Jun could even fonction as a person without Shang Qinghua like the organization of the North wouldn't completely fizzle out in a week if he took his eyes off it
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
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Breaking News: Olympics consider whether or not to invite stoat athletes next year.
After the shocking win of Jaysohn Lastname last week, conversations about letting them compete in next years competition have commenced.
“The fact that he broke the record on his first try is astounding,” Peter Ueberroth, chair of the Los Angeles Olympic Organizing Committee, said.
Lastname’s long jump measured at 14.7 meters, almost doubling the previous record of 8.9 meters.
Bob Beamon, previous record holder, argued that it wasn’t a fair competition.
“It’s like letting a cheetah participate in the 100 meter dash. There’s just no way for a human to win,” Beamon said.
It did come to a surprise that the stoat was able to jump so far. While the other competitors only had two legs to run on, each step was longer than a stoat.
Nevertheless, when Lastname went up to jump, he suddenly grew large, blue arms, and used them to hurtle himself the impressive distance.
When asked how he did that, Lastname simply said “Jaysohn rules!”
According to Dr. Tara Steel, stoats are able to absorb and use radiation for their incredible feats.
This has led to some questions about how safe it is for these stoats to compete. Dr. Steel has previously said that the radiation is only a minor danger, releasing radiation comparable to that released by the sun.
“Yeah, it should be fine,” Dr. Lila Lastname, Jaysohn’s sister and first stoat physicist, said.
The UN has currently stalled in recognizing the land within Ukrainian borders as it’s own country.
Jeane Kirkpatrick, US ambassador to the united nation, explained that there is very little political gain for such a move.
“These stoats are just little guys,” Kirkpatrick said.
There’s also the problem that these stoats have very little economic or social ties with the rest of the world.
“It also feels a little weird to have a country named Stoat Place.” Kirkpatrick explained. “I think it would help their efforts to change the name.”
“We are not changing the name,” Thorn Vale, Stoat Ambassador, has repeatedly said.
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