#hold on wheres the cake meme

[spinspoon]

AUGHH it makes me psychically hurt anytime any of my friends are like "well... i wanna make x but someone's probably already done it and probably better than me..." or alternatively "well.. i wanna make this but people have already done x better" like STOP!!!! MAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!! MAKE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!!!!! "better" IS COMPLETELY SUBJECTIVE AND IMO AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY WHAT YOU'RE DOING THAN IT'S AMAZING!!! CAUSE IT SHOWS!!!! MAKE THINGS FOR YOURSELF AND THERE'S ALWAYS BOUND TO BE PEOPLE THAT WILL LIKE IT TOO!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY IN A TIME WHERE HUMAN TOUCH AND CREATIVITY IS AT STAKE!!!!!! EXPLODES EXPLODES EXPLODES

[6okuto]

AFTER BECOMING YOUR BOYFRIEND

gn!reader | bokuto, akaashi, atsumu, osamu, iwaizumi, matsukawa, kageyama, yamaguchi, sakusa

BOKUTO can't stop grinning and kissing you. his hands are stuck either cupping your face or holding your hips. he plants quick pecks to your lips and feels his heart rate pick up at your laugh. "i'm really your boyfriend," he repeats, convincing himself he isn't dreaming.

AKAASHI's entire body relaxes as he says "thank god." he leans forward to rest his head against your shoulder and huffs a laugh at himself. you bring your hand up to run your fingers through his hair. “did you think i’d say no?” “i was scared you would,” he murmurs. “and i don’t think i could bring myself to try returning the gifts.”

ATSUMU excitedly changes your contact where he already put a heart next to your name to be your new title: "MY PARNTNR/BOYFIRND/GIRLFJEND" (awful spelling included and vital). he adds emojis like 😁🫂💯🔥 before taking a screenshot to send to his group chat. he won't talk about how he almost sent it to you and nearly had a heart attack.

OSAMU texts to ask “when did you know you liked me?” later that night. he bites his lip and his eyes shoot lasers into the dots that show you’re typing. an embarrassed smile appears on his face when you say “when u apologized over and over after almost hitting me with a ball the first time we met :) u were cute” because it really was a cringe-worthy introduction, but at least you both liked each other since the beginning.

IWAIZUMI can’t stop thinking of getting you a gift. thinking of giving you a gift every once in a while wasn’t unusual, but he tries really hard to get a hold of himself when he realizes he's scanning every store he walks past for something you might like. he fails, obviously, when you end up getting a gift every time you meet up for the next few weeks.

MATSUKAWA blurts out "seriously?" after you say yes. he tries to ignore how his face heats up when you tilt your head and laugh. you’re still laughing when he pulls you into him as if to hug you, only to start tickling you. he jokingly threatens, “don’t laugh at me, i’m your boyfriend,” when you yelp and hit his side.

KAGEYAMA can’t stop replaying the moment you guys officially start dating in his head, even and especially while practicing. he’s setting the ball when he thinks about how you smiled and suddenly forgets what he's doing. his face is red from being flustered and the volleyball smacking him on the forehead.

YAMAGUCHI, when he has the time, marks down the date in his calendar. butterflies flutter in his stomach as he types out "WE’RE DATING !!!!!! :)) " in the notes. it's been less than a day and he's already (over)thinking of what to do to celebrate the closest, reasonable anniversary, whenever that is. in a month, probably, he thinks.

SAKUSA’s glad he has a privacy screen protector because if anyone noticed how often he opened your chat to reread your texts he’d never live it down. there’s a small smile under his mask at your silly flirting memes, and just the thought of how your “take care of yourself!” messages are with him as your boyfriend in mind.

@devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @semifilms @sakusasdirtyragdoll @dai-tsukki-desu @Thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa @semispilledcoffee @ksyhmm @idontlikeyourjob @sparrowb3nscloset @awkwardaardvarkforever @rory-cakes @prblmtic @dimslover @kuroaka @vampyrkookie @sunaslay @h0n3ysgh0st @lackey-laufeyson @bontensbabygirl @dira333 @spooky1magazine1bread @Kamukayakmonyet @danyisapingu @isentsworld @lilithlunas @anime-ships-gay @todorokiskitten @kellesvt @scill-a @tooruchiiscribs @curiouslilbeast @fiona782 @cvhenia

[hqbaby]

two — still winning

fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader

you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.7k content. fwb, swearing

He doesn’t care. Why would he? He’s not your boyfriend or anything. You’re just two close friends who happen to fuck sometimes. You’re a grown woman. You’re allowed to go on dates with guys… who aren’t him.

“What is wrong with yer face,” Aran says. He reaches out to touch the corners of Suna’s lips. “Smile!”

The boy just scowls at him. “What are you doing?” he says, yanking his friend’s hands away from his face. “Don’t touch me.”

Aran bursts into laughter. “Yer so serious!”

“What’s goin’ on with ya?” Osamu prods, launching himself onto the couch between the other two boys. He pokes a finger to Suna’s cheek. “Ya break up with yer girlfriend or somethin’?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“If she’s not yer girlfriend, then why don’t ya tell us her name? Doesn’t matter if we know now, does it?”

Suna sinks deeper into the cushions and groans. “Will you guys just be quiet for once?”

“Such a grump.” Osamu sighs, slumping against the couch’s arm. “Anyway, what’re we doin’ over the break?”

“Kita and I are headin’ home before trainin’ starts,” Aran says. “I miss my bed.”

The gray-haired twin hums. “I’d go home too but I got that internship comin’ up.”

A pillow lands on his face.

“Quit braggin’ ‘bout yer internship.”

“I’m not!”

As the two of them bicker, Suna takes his phone out of his pocket. He pulls up your chat and reads your last message to him.

y/n the love of my life: nah i have a date

His eyes linger on your contact name. You set it up, obviously. The two of you (read: just you) were baking a cake in his kitchen (and failing miserably because his only contribution to the effort was distracting you with memes). You had asked him to send you a video he found of a bird freaking out when its owner “disappeared” behind a blanket because you wanted to show it to Oikawa and tell him that’s what he sounded like when Iwaizumi left him alone.

“Y/N L/N?” you gasped, reading the name he had you saved as. “Is that all I am to you?”

He burst out laughing when he saw how offended you looked. “Are you seriously upset?”

“Duh!” you said. “You’ve literally been inside me. And I’m just ‘Y/N L/N’ to you?”

“That’s your name isn’t it?”

You glared at him. “I’m not letting you have any of the cake.”

“Good. I’m pretty sure I’d get food poisoning anyway.”

“Rin!”

He laughed again, holding his phone out for you to take. “Fine,” he said. “Change it to whatever you want.”

A devilish smile appeared on your face as you took the phone away and started typing. He tried to see what you were doing, but you just pulled the screen closer to you so he couldn’t look. “It’s a surprise,” you told him. “Can’t ruin it.”

“You type really slow.”

“Your dick is microscopic.”

“Hey!”

With one last look at your handiwork, you gave him back the phone. “There,” you said. “Now, it’s accurate.”

He glanced at his screen and smirked. “Gee, you got a big ego.”

“Yeah. Bigger than your dick.”

“Stop talking about my dick!”

He tries rationalizing your “date” in his head. It’s not like you’ve mentioned liking anyone, he doubts it’s anything serious. He figures that you just decided to make plans because he was supposed to have plans. That’s probably all there is to it. You’ve done this before. It’s not any different from the other times. It’s not like he cares anyway, he has no reason to.

“Where’s Atsumu?” Aran asks, pushing Osamu’s feet away as the boy tries to stick them in his face. “Thought he’d be here after his test.”

“He came home earlier to get dressed, said he was goin’ out tonight,” Osamu says, trying to get his feet in Suna’s face this time. “Dunno where he thinks he’s goin’ without us.”

“Probably has a girl.”

“Doubt it.”

“Ya never know. Some girls like an airhead.” Aran pretends to swoon, forcing himself on top of Osamu. “‘Oh, ‘Tsumu! Yer so dreamy! Have my babies!’”

The twin’s hand lands in his face, pushing him away. “Gross,” he says. “Well, if Suna can get a girlfriend, I guess ‘Tsumu can too.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Boyfriend then.”

Osamu is rewarded with a firm kick to the groin.

“I’m tellin’ ya! It tastes great!” Atsumu insists. “Ya just haven’t tried it yet.”

Your face is a mix of both disbelief and amusement. “Uh-uh,” you say slowly, laughter threatening to spill from your lips. “I guess I’ll have to find out the next time I crave cereal with orange juice.”

“I’m serious! Don’t knock it ‘til ya try it!”

You laugh. “But why would I want to try it?”

He shakes his head and makes a faux serious face. “It’s in the pulp,” he explains, gesturing wildly as he tries to convince you that no, this is not a crazy person thing he’s saying right now. “Ya mix it in with the fiber and it just makes the flavor pop, y’know?”

The two of you burst into laughter.

The date’s been going well so far. You’d be lying if you said Atsumu’s the perfect gentleman because he isn’t. He talks while he eats and bulldozes through his meal without an effort to look proper in any way. He didn’t bring you to any of the nicer places on campus where the guys usually take girls that they want to impress, but the restaurant has its own charm. It’s cozy and warm and Atsumu talks to the owner of the place like she’s his own grandmother. He’s clearly a regular. And the food’s great too.

He’s fun to be around, you think. He’s, well, a regular boy with the usual quirks, but there’s a sweetness to him. Like you know he means well. What you see is what you get, and you don’t mind what you see at all.

“You’re on the volleyball team, right?” you ask when the conversation lulls as the two of you eat.

“Yup,” he tells you eagerly. “I plan on going to the Olympics.”

“Wow. That’s big.”

“It is. But it’s also what I’ve always wanted to do.”

You nod in understanding. “I have friends on the team. Your schedules get crazy sometimes, don’t they?”

“Yeah, they do, but we love it,” he says with a smile. “Who’re yer friends? I probably know ‘em.”

“Oikawa and Suna—I mean, I’m not really friends with Suna,” you correct yourself. “We’ve spoken a few times.”

“No kiddin’!” he exclaims. “They’re both great—just don’t tell ‘em I said that. Suna’s actually one of my best friends, went to highschool together and everythin’.”

Your eyes widen. “Seriously? What a coincidence.”

He chuckles. “Can’t believe we haven’t met before.”

You nod and smile, but you can believe it. You and Suna live in separate worlds most of the time. The only way you’re technically supposed to “know” each other is through Oikawa and you barely get involved with that part of your friend’s life anyway. It makes you wonder, though. What kind of person is Suna with his friends? Is he any different from the Suna that you know? Maybe you wouldn’t even recognize him.

The rest of the dinner goes on without a hitch and Atsumu drives you back to the dorms after.

“I had fun,” you tell him, digging into your purse for your key. “You shouldn’t have paid though. I’m the one who owes you.”

He waves it off. “Ya can always pay next time.”

The corners of your lips curl upward at the bold remark. “Next time?”

“Well, if that’s… y’know, somethin' ya wanna do,” he says sheepishly. “Would ya? Wanna do this again, I mean. Soon maybe.”

He looks at you like a little boy with hopeful eyes, an image that doesn't entirely match his rather large physique. It’s endearing. It’s sweet. And you decide that you might actually grow to like this boyish side of him a little.

“I have practice tomorrow,” you tell him. “And we have a team dinner after.”

His face falls slightly, trying to hide his disappointment. “Oh, sure. No, I get it.”

“How does coffee sound to you then?”

He lights up at that, face bursting with joy. “Sounds great,” he says. “Meet ya at the quad?”

You nod. “I’ll text you when I’m free.”

“Cool,” he says, still beaming. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” you say, reaching up to plant a kiss on his jaw. “Night, ‘Tsumu.”

“Night, Y/N.”

You unlock your door and step inside, waving at him one last time before closing the door behind you. You lean against the wall, a kaleidoscope of tiny butterflies already gathering in your stomach as you sink to the floor. It’s a new feeling. Interesting, but nice.

Buzz. Buzz.

You reach into your pocket and pull out your phone to find a text from Suna.

rin: how was the date?

you: pretty good actually

you: i’m seeing him again tmrw

rin: nice

Suna feels the urge to chuck his phone across the room. “Nice.” That was his great response. He groans, feeling like a bumbling fourteen-year-old again. He didn’t like being fourteen at all. -3/10, not an experience he’d ever recommend.

He looks down and reads your message again. You’re seeing the guy tomorrow. That’s soon. You just had your first date and you’re seeing him again. It must’ve been something special, Suna thinks, and it makes him feel sick.

His phone pings. Another text from you.

y/n the love of my life: can i come over?

He stares at your words for a while. For a moment, he’s convinced that his mind is playing tricks on him, that he’s just seeing what he wants to see. Then, he smirks, knowing that of course it’s real.

Somehow, he’s decided that, though the guy might be special, it means something that you’re going to end up in Suna’s bed anyway. He doesn’t know exactly what it means, but it means something. It means: Mystery Guy 0, Suna 1. He still comes first, he wins this time. And that’s all that matters.

It makes him feel better than it probably should, but he tries not to think about that. Not now at least.

notes. i'm gonna let u know rn that all the characters in this series are dumb college kids w big feelings and no idea what to do w any them. today is suna's day to be oblivious to his emotions but everyone's gonna get their turn eventually 😩 (also the spice starts next chapter hihihi)

[ghostlykeyes]

i rlly like your work, heartsteel needs more content tbh,, so ty!! ANYWAY,

i liked the general relationship/kiss hcs w kayn, would u be able to do that for the other two as well?? if that makes sense

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HEARTSTEEL YONE: RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW, with light touching/sensuality ♡ TW: Some alcohol usage/food mentions ♡ I've done Sett's kisses here (X) and relationship HCs here (X), and Yone's kisses here (X) ! (will I remember to come back and edit those links in??? only time will tell)

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YONE

No matter where you go, Yone brings you on fantastic dates. It's never popular tourist-trap type outings, either. If you ask how the hell he even found out about your date locations, he smiles coyly and says he can't reveal his sources. Regardless, expect lots of breathtaking, original dates—hidden trails that spill into breathtaking clumps of wildflowers, a hole-in-the-wall burger joint with the best fries you've had in tour entire life, tiny sculpture parks with some truly absurd statues (he absolutely refuses to delete the unflattering pic of you squatting next to a caked-up stone Sasquatch).

He isn't on his phone often, so don't be surprised if Yone doesn't text you back quickly or is overly-formal with his messages. Wild horses couldn't drag a silly emoji or a meme out of him. If you're lucky, you'll get a red heart, but that's about it. He tries not to make you feel neglected just because he's a dry texter, though. Especially when he's on tour, he calls you to check in whenever he's got a spare moment.

Yone's a chronic meal-skipper so he really appreciates if you share your food with him. Be warned, though, if you force him to step away from work and sit down for dinner you're either getting five minutes and a cup of instant ramen, or he's cooking you a three course meal complete with different appetizer, entree, and dessert wines. There's no in-between.

While Yone's not a fan of PDA, he holds your hand through every big event you're forced to attend. He doesn't appreciate the attention and flashing lights, but your warm, reassuring grip keeps him calm and relatively content.

Matching outfits are a little bit too much, but Yone is all for wearing clothing that compliments yours. Think similar textures, colors, and cuts. If you're wearing athleisure, he'll throw on a pair of stylish sweatpants. You're rocking the all black fit, so is he (with a pop of color in his earrings, probably—if he's completely monochrome, Kayn accuses him of "stealing his look"). Though he thinks it's a little cringy to be exact matches, he's definitely down to coordinate.

Whenever Yone makes himself a coffee, he whips up a glass of your favorite beverage as well. Nothing is too complicated—if you want a latte, he can make any flavor, and he'll pour the foam into a heart shape on top. Boba? No problem, he's got tapioca pearls in your favorite flavor and large straws on hand, to boot. A mimosa? Okay, he might raise his eyebrow at that one and point out that it's like eleven A.M.—nevertheless, if it's a mimosa you want, then it's a mimosa you'll get. Part of this is because he loves you, of course, but also? He hates sharing his coffee and figures that you won't ask for a sip if you've got your own drink.

Yone absolutely melts when you take care of him. He's used to looking after everyone else's wants and needs, so it's a pleasant surprise when someone extends that same care and attention to him. Cook him his favorite meal or take care of his laundry when he's been extra busy, and he looks at you like you're the eight wonder of the world. "You didn't have to do that for me," he cups your face gently, sweeping an appreciative kiss over your forehead. "But I'm glad that you did."

Chivalry is not dead and Yone's the man giving it CPR. Count on him to be the perfect gentleman. He opens every door for you, takes your coat whenever you drop by his studio, and no, under no circumstances will he let you pull out your own chair.

Yone's pet-names are sweet and classic. Most often, he calls you 'my darling', but he'll occasionally pepper in a 'dearest' or 'lover' for variety.

One of Yone's favorite ways to spend a free evening with you is sneaking into underground music shows. The two of you will turn up to somebody's house where the living room has been cleared to throw together a makeshift stage, or an abandoned warehouse with people clustering together and swaying to synthetic beats blasting through mid-grade speakers. More often than not, the musicians aren't that good (but that's par for the course with these kind of shows). The atmosphere can't be beat, though. And, when you do stumble upon somebody's garage band that actually goes hard, it's always an exciting surprise. Yone always keeps cash on him in case somebody's selling merch. He snags two stickers, one for you to keep and one to paste on his guitar case. What better way to commemorate shitty bands and crowded house shows than with matching stickers?

If you tag along with him on tour or business trips, Yone's first mission is to scout out a good coffee shop. Of course he takes you along, and buys you whatever little treats catch your eye. Sweets, sandwiches, snacks—anything he notices you ogling behind the glass, he orders for you.

Even with his massively packed schedule Yone NEVER, EVER forgets an important date. Expect gifts on birthdays and anniversaries, and extra love and support on dates that might be difficult for you.

Since Sett's a master crocheter, Yone pays him a frankly absurd amount to make you a plushie that looks like his fox mask. Yone knows that it can't be easy for you, with him away touring or on business so much of the time. The stuffed snuggle-buddy, he hopes, can ease your loneliness when he's away. Before he sets off on a long trip he makes sure to spritz your stuffie with his cologne, so that you can squish it in your sleep and dream that he's right there with you.

Yone's not a huge cuddler. Too much physical attention can make him feel smothered. The exception is when you sit on his lap. He loves when you settle onto him while he's working. As long as you're quiet and still (he doesn't want you to disturb his flow, after all), he basks in your comfortable warmth and the adorable way you tuck yourself into his chest.

[berylcups]

La Squadra x Reader: What makes them laugh

CW: suggestive behavior (Melone being Melone), getting scared, food, spicy food, annoyed pets( no pets real or imaginary were harmed in this post), gamer rage, language barriers, minor DNI

Notes: some of the videos suggest may or may not be offensive to you or your morals (mostly referring to cart narcs and some Gi Joe PSAs) so please view at your own discretion and mental health in mind! This is a post made for funsies and not meant to harm in anyway. Humor is subjective and as someone with privilege but also is AuDHD there maybe somethings I overlooked. Just know that Beryl loves you all and cares about you all 💜 Also regarding Prosciutto…he might be a little OOC. The only real humor I could see him having is like boomer humor or political humor but that is such a gross yucky subject and I want to keep this post as positive as possible. I hope I did him justice! I hope you enjoy either way! 💜 Beryl

Risotto

What type of humor do they have?: dark humor/ jump scare reactions

How do they laugh?: he has a low deep rumble of a chuckle when he does laugh it almost sounds like an evil villain’s laughter. It’s a little intimidating! But don’t tell him that we want him to laugh more! 🖤

Anything you do make them laugh?: anytime something makes you jump he can’t help but let out a chuckle. Whether someone shows up in your line of sight suddenly and it startles you, or a loud noise makes you scream like a crack of lightning.

You were in the kitchen of the base sneaking a piece of a cake, you knew nobody else was home so you could easily steal the last piece of strawberry cake. You felt so evil, you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself!

As soon as you took a forkful and put it near your mouth, a flash of lightning struck and you felt a massive hand on your shoulder with hot breath on your neck.

“…that’s the last piece…I hope you plan on sharing it Y/N…” you heard a deep voice rumble.

The pure rush of adrenaline jolted through you like the lightning outside and you jumped up, dropping the plate and letting out the most high pitched pathetic screech. The plate shattered all over the kitchen floor completely ruining the cake.

“Damn it Risotto! Don’t scare me like that!” You whined. “Stop being invisible and show yourself!”

He chuckled as he revealed himself, he had a rare shit eating grin on his face.

“Sorry… I really couldn’t help myself. It was the perfect opportunity to get you like that.” He snickered as rubbed your head.

“Sigh…I’m happy that you are enjoying yourself. But I almost peed myself and I dropped a perfectly good piece of cake.” You whined.

“Well I hate to say it but karma is a bitch. That’s what happens when you try to sneak off with the last piece.” He smirked as he got out the broom and dust pan.

“And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you being a creeper.” You huffed.

What types of videos make them laugh?: jumpscare reactions- especially if it’s older people playing the scary maze. He thinks it’s hilarious! But he feels bad when he sees little kids get scared, that’s not funny to him 😞 any kid age 12+ though is fine with him- it’s time for them to grow up 😈

Any examples?: nothing specific- look for videos of people getting tricked into getting jump scared 😅 like scary maze, the video of the car driving down through the hills, FNAF, etc.

Formaggio

What type of humor do they have?: funny memes/ voice over parodies

How do they laugh?: he starts off with a goofy low deep chuckle then as it progresses it turns into a roaring laughter where he’s gasping and holding his stomach. Very infectious 🤭

Anything you do make them laugh?: This guy is all giggles! It’s never hard to make him laugh. But his favorite thing is when you reference his favorite videos.

“Hey hey hey~! Get off the counter Asiago!” You scolded the cat. The grey furball turned its butt at you and continued to prance across the counter. “Oh? We’re playing this game huh? Don’t make me give you a body massage~…”

“Who wants a body massage?”you asked in a deep voice, picking up the cat off the counter before she could escape.

“Mister body massage machine GO” you aggressively rubbed the cats belly.

“Pfft hey~! Where’s my body massage?” He laughed watching you playfully manhandle the cat.

“Make me some pork chop sandwiches and maybe zaddy will give ya a body massage!” You struggled to say through your giggling.

The cat was fed up with both of your guys bullshit and jumped out of your arms and ran off hissing.

What types of videos make them laugh?: GI Joe PSAs, Jaboody Dubs- he loves silly voice overs of his favorite American cartoons. Taking them out of context and rewriting the dialogue makes him want to piss himself from laughter.

Any examples?: Pork Chop Sandwiches! I’m a computer, stop all the downloading!

Illuso

What type of humor do they have?: “nailed it “ humor

How do they laugh?: He laughs just as obnoxiously as he does in the dub. Its very unflattering and he sounds like a hyena. Despite that, it’s very contagious!

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you tried to make cute rainbow cupcakes and all the colors bled together making it look like an absolute disaster. The icing melted and the rainbow candy wouldn’t retain its rainbow shape...Its just a sugary sticky mess.

“Ha-Nice job. Very well done.” Illuso snickered. “It looks like a leprechaun vomited all over your cake pan!” he howled.

“It looks so fucking miserable! Did you even try???” he cackled. “Next time, leave the baking to me!”

“Oh fuck off Lulu.”you groaned, rubbing your temples in frustration. “Anytime I pintrest anything, it always-ALWAYS goes wrong.”

He wiped the tears from his face as he tried to calm himself down from his high.

“Hey, hey… Calm down Y/N. Baking is very fickle. I’ll help you out next time. You did the best you could. Trial and error is unfortunately part of the baking process” he said rubbing your back.

“I just really wanted some cute tasty cupcakes…”you pouted.

“I could tell. You didn’t let the cupcakes cool long enough before you put the icing on them. That's why it melted right off.” he stuck a finger in one of the cakes and tasted the frosting. “Mmm…still tastes good though. Lets just eat them anyway. Ugly cake is still good cake.”

.

What types of videos make them laugh?: “Nailed it” show, parkour/stunt fails, live tv bloopers/ fails, makeup fails

Any examples?: grape lady falls

Pesci

What type of humor do they have?: cute animal humor

How do they laugh?: he tries to hold back his laughs but fails with an adorable snort. He has a giggle that sounds like pure joy from an angel. 😇 It’s a big belly laugh and it’s hard not to laugh along with him. Hearing his laugh is always going to put you in a good mood! 😁

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you panic and freak out holding an upset octopus that you accidentally caught while fishing.

“lil guppy~! Put down the camera and help me~! Ow ow ow!” You squealed trying to pry to the angry octopuses suction cups off of you.

“My poor precious pearl! Don’t worry! I’ll help you!” He quickly took a few more pictures of your scuffle with the cephalopod and walked over to gently but firmly pull the tentacles off your face and chest.

He wrangled the fuming octopus and gently but swiftly removed the hook from it. He then he quickly dropped it back into its home in the sea.

“Oh thank god… Thank you Pesci. You’re my hero!” You sighed in relief and rubbed the sore spots the suction cups left.

. “You’re very welcome Y/N. I’m just thankful you’re okay. You weren’t in any real danger. Octopus encounters are just really uncomfortable.” Pesci looks at you and your red splotches, making a gentle giggle.

“What’s so funny??” You whined, putting hands on your hips. You were annoyed he was laughing after a moment like this but knowing how kind he was you’d give him a moment to explain himself.

“The octopus gave you a bunch of welts making it look like you have polka dots!” He laughed light-heartedly. “ you poor thing, I’ll have to give you some cream to help your irritated skin.”

“Sigh… I’m so accident prone. Maybe it was a bad idea to join you on your fishing trips.” You pouted.

“No! Not at all!” He said, giving you a big reassuring hug . “ I love having you with me! I want you to come with me all the time!…only if you want to of course.”

“I’d love too.” You smiled. “As long as I don’t catch anymore angry octopi.” You softly giggled.

What types of videos make them laugh?: he loves watching cat and dog videos of them being silly and doing goofy things! He has a wholesome sense of humor.

Any examples?: Today I groomed a new species | the weirdest cat ever. Cat barking like dog. Dog of wisdom

Prosciutto

What type of humor do they have?: instant karma

How do they laugh?: he has a deep, rich laughter. It sounds very indulgent. It starts out with a mild wheeze then a chuckle that rumbles out of his chest. He has a habit to put a hand to his forehead and shake his head before he really starts laughing. If you have a voice kink his laughter might make you start acting unwise 😳

Anything you do make them laugh?: it has nothing to do with his type of humor but you underestimate something. You were weak to heat but you thought you could handle some of Prosciuttos pasta arrabiata. You… couldn’t handle it at all.

You were having lunch with your beloved partner. You were eating Gnocchi Sorrentina and he had Pasta Arrabiata. It looked so good and smelled good too. You wanted a taste.

“Hey Prosci, let me have a bite of your pasta pretty please? It looks sooo good!” You said trying not to drool.

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m more than happy to share amore, but it’s very spicy. I know you don’t do well with spicy foods… are you sure you want to try it?” He asked.

“I know I’m weak to spice but it can’t be THAT spicy. Your nose isn’t even running and you're not sweating! I can handle it!” You reassured him. “May I have just a bite please?”

He seemed a little wary but he took a forkful and guided it towards your mouth.

“Okay amore. Here you go. Open up.” He said bring the fork closer to your lips.

You opened your mouth happily inviting the food into your mouth. You chewed as you felt your senses overcome you. Perfectly al dente pasta and a delicious tomato sauce tantalizing your taste buds.

“Oh my~! Prosci it’s so goo-“an unsettling sensation overcame your mouth. You felt your nose get runny and the sweat begin to form on your skin. The heat in your mouth has made itself known. You could feel it in all your soft tissues, your throat, and even your teeth!

“So..so hot!” You panicked. You jump up from your chair and scramble to the sink to drink water directly from the tap.

Prosciutto wheezed and let a hearty laugh out of his chest.

“I told you it was going to be spicy Y/N!” He wheezed.

“I didn’t think it was going to be THAT spicy!” You gargled. “Ahh~ the pain won’t stop!”

“Drink milk amore. Fats neutralize the capsaicin.” He chucked as watched.

You slammed open the fridge and grabbed the milk and drank straight from it, not caring it was for Pesci. You’d buy him a new one. You drank the rest of the leftover milk panting hard.

“Feel better?” He asked.

“ Yeah… the pain is gone. But now I’m going to have to worry about my lactose intolerance later…” you panted. “I owe Pesci a new milk jug.”

“We’ll worry about that when we come to it.” He said kissing your forehead.

What types of videos make them laugh?: anything to do with instant karma or people getting what they deserve… he looks like he’d enjoy public freakouts/karens getting what they deserve 😂

Any examples?: nothing specific, maybe CartNarcs? He’d like watching people messing with others and then they end up failing at their pranks or they end up getting served 😅

Melone

What type of humor do they have?: “That’s what she said “/ dirty minded humor & video game humor

How do they laugh?: he starts with a giggle and has a somewhat feminine light laugh. It’s very attractive

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you get frustrated playing video games and falling at them. 😅

You were sitting in front of the tv frustrated. You KNOW if you did enough backwards long jumps in rapid succession you could get through the endless stairs and to the final fight with bowser.

“Ugh… come on! It’s soooo hard!” You moaned in frustration.

“That’s what she said.” Melone snickered as he watched you helplessly try to glitch your way up the stairs.

“Ugh shut it Mel.” You hissed.

You kept trying and trying… no success. Your hands were beginning to cramp up.

“Aaah~! My hands! They’re cramping! Finish already!” You bitched.

“That’s what she said~.” He giggled louder.

“Melone! Not right now!” You barked.

“Now now Y/N… it’s just a game ~” he waved his finger at you.

You got so close, but your hands cramped up and spasmed. You had enough and threw your controller to the side.

“WELL FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!” You screeched. “ I give up!”

“That can be arranged ~” he purred while rubbing your shoulders. “ Calm down Y/N, it’s just a game… if you want you can take frustration out on me if you know what I mean ~.” He said kissing the shell of your ear.

“Sigh. ok, fine.” You giggled. “ You always know how to put me in a better mood.”

What types of videos make them laugh?: video game glitches, bad video game hacks

Any examples?: streamers or lets-players: ex: Vargskelethor, Vinesauce, Jerma, (my top 3 personally!) or overly popular YTubers like Pewdiepie, Markiplier, etc…

Ghiaccio

What type of humor do they have?: typos/ illiteracy/ misheard words

How do they laugh?: he always tries to hold his laughs in a “Pffft” if it’s really funny he wheezes before he laughs hard holding his ribs. It’s rare but he does laugh!

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you struggle to roll your R’s and say an Italian word but in the wrong way.

“Ghia~ can you bring me the pene for the pasta salad?” You asked, chopping the vegetables.

“Pffft what did you say?” He asked holding back a chuckle.

“You know! The pene pasta! The tube shaped pasta with the tip at the ends!” You said trying to be more specific.

“I have a pene but not pene PASTA.” He wheezed. “We have PENNE pasta.”

“Uh duh! That’s what I just said! What’s gotten into you today?” You huffed grabbing the bowl of pasta out of his hands.

“Y/N… Pene and Penne are two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT things.” He chuckled while wiping a tear from his eye.

“They sound the same! You just say the N a microsecond longer. It can’t be THAT funny! So tell me what I’ve been saying!” You whined

“Cock pasta. You said you were making cock pasta. Not very appetizing if you ask me. Penne is what you want to say- that means pen. Hence the pen shape of the pasta.” He snickered.

“So that’s why all the guys were laughing at me when I was raving about pasta arrabiata with penne?! And you didn’t fucking tell me???” You screeched.

The blue haired man crumpled into a laughing mess gripping his sides. “You can’t blame me for that fuck up! It was a perfect Language barrier!”

What types of videos make them laugh?: misheard lyrics and song parodies, Bone-app-the-teeth type compilations

Any examples?: how is prangent formed? Curse of the weggy board

[sakuralovespossums]

okok so im not the person that asked if u take requests BUT may i pretty pls request hcs for master shake x someone who's like.. the opposite of him??? could be gn but preferably fem 😭 my idea is like.. reader is soft spoken, actually cares about meatwad, pretty darn feminine..... yk u get the gist. ty vro currently under hurricane watch 😛

Human Master Shake x Fem Reader who’s his total opposite!

General HCs

When Shake went around bragging about his new girlfriend, everyone just thought he was lying like usual and ignored him. That is until they actually met you and HOLLY HELL how tf did Shake of all people manage to pull a sweetie like you?!

You’re kind, soft spoken, bubbly and always dressed in pastel colored feminine clothing and glittery makeup. You always know just what to say and easily make friends with anybody you meet

Then there’s Shake…who’s…….Shake

He acts all surprised and offended to see people act shocked when finding out you two are together

“Of course we’re together!! You think I wouldn’t be able to hit this sweet piece of cake?”

*Smacks your ass, causing you to jump and glare at him*

Deep down tho, he’s REALLY kinda insecure about your relationship and is worried your only dating him cuz you want something from him and will ditch him at any moment

It doesn’t help that he has a shitty track record with women Svetlana and Freda

But you get that and are pretty patient. So you take your time with him and try to get him to slowly open up and be more vulnerable around you when you guys are alone. Wether that’d be cooking together, running errands, cuddling on the bed, and other mundane stuff

Shake acts annoyed and bored by all this at first, but over time begins to secretly enjoy it and feels more comfortable being with you

Like he’s shocked he doesn’t just like you for your sweet tits and ass!! He now actively seeks you out all the time cuz you’re the only person who makes him feel……..relaxed? Content? He doesn’t get it but he also can’t get enough of it!

Because of this, Shake grows more possessive/jealous. He will glare at anybody who looks at you and will snatch you away when your talking too long to other people

Doesn’t care who they are, he will let them known that you. are. HIS!!!!!

He feels justified in his possessiveness tho with how naive and too trusting you can be towards other people, making you easy prey for creeps who wanna take advantage of your kindness and good looks I kinda modeled your personality after Girlfriend from Friday Night Funkin

Despite being a bit of an airhead, there are random moments where you just say the most out of nowhere intelligent stuff ever that leaves everyone (especially Frylock) stumped

Despite liking you, Shake is still an asshole and can say/do some pretty dick-ish things to you sometimes. You quickly beat his ass reprimand him for it. You’re patient but not a pushover!!!

Shake groans as you drag him along on your usual shopping sprees, carrying home bags of new clothes and makeup from Forever 21, Victoria’s Secret, and Sephora. Meanwhile he’s blushing so hard cuz HOLY SHIT YOUR HOLDING HIS HAND!!!!!!

Peeks under your short skirt whenever he can

You know that 13-in-one shampoo bottle meme? That’s you and Shake

Your aesthetic is like NewJeans, Marina,pink core y2k (you) clashed with ICP, rap rock, horror core (Shake) I don’t know any other bands besides ICP I’m so sorry!

He smells (slightly) less after you forced him to start using hygiene products

He ALWAYS has you on his lap. Wether it’s the bed, couch, Carl’s pool, doesn’t matter

You love cuddling on his lap when he’s watching TV on the sofa, kissing all over his neck and face as he grows redder and redder

Other times he’ll get you back by suddenly ducking down and straight up tongue wrestle you with a sick smirk. His large frame not letting you go anywhere

Sure, you’ll often tease and fluster him. But he’ll also show you your place and leave you a mess too ;)

One time, he took you to an ICP concert and you were both decked out in the whole goth rocker outfit like in the Juggalo episode. God, he couldn’t believe how sexy you looked going from pretty pink to hardcore goth!

Shake cooks for you often after you compliment his meals. It fills him with a type of pride he doesn’t feel from telling others his usual made up stories

You like to hug him from behind as he stirs a pot on the stove, wearing the cute pink apron you insisted he wear he’s such a housewife

Shake still acts bored and annoyed when you try to be soft with him, but you get that that’s just how he is and go along with it while teasing him

He just grumbles into your chest. When Meatwad mentions how soft he gets around you, Shake just chases him with a bat

Shake is noticeably more mellow when you’re around. But that’s only when you around. Once you leave, he goes right back to being an ass to his roommates and neighbor. Please have him move out and live with you already!!!

Relationship with other characters

You and Meatwad instantly get along!

You guys always play together in his room with his dolls. You even gave him some of your old ones, which he loved so much!! Meanwhile Shake glares from the corner

He always goes to you for questions when Frylock is too busy only to be scared off by Shake, much to your frustration

You even exchanged phone numbers so that he can call/text you whenever he needs someone to talk to Shake has deleted his number off your phone numerous times and stopped when you confronted him about it. Now he just breaks Meatwad’s phone

Whenever Shake bullies Meatwad, he threatens him that he’ll tell him on you which instantly makes him panic

Frylock was skeptical when first meeting you. Did Shake pay you to act like his girlfriend? No, not even money could make someone pretend to like Shake. Did he brainwash you with one of his devices?

Regardless, he soon came to appreciate your company and is just glad there’s finally another sensible adult around here besides him!

He’s also appreciative of you for making his life less stressful by keeping Shake in check and being a friend/guardian figure to Meatwad

You like checking out whatever new invention he’s working on and even test some out (as super dangerous as that is)

Sometimes you both stand by the front porch and make chit chat while watching Shake and Meatwad annoy Carl

Oh yeah, Carl……

This greasy ass man is always hitting on you, no matter how many times you tell him you have 0 interest and are already taken

After a while, you become…….not friends but…..acquaintances is the right word. He still hits on you bcuz it’s Carl

“So I just got my pool decked out and it’s uhh….pretty hot out. Was wonderin if…maybe you know….you wanna stop by for a swim in your uhh….favorite bikini. Maybe like the smallest pair ya got………really shows off your boobs and—

*Gets blown up. You turn around to see Shake holding a bazooka*

NSFW stuff

Listen, listen!! I know we all like to imagine Shake as a pathetic attention whore sub!! BUT I also like to imagine him as a selfish dom with a size kink and fat dick that he doesn’t know how to use lmao

You’re just so smol and soft, he can’t help it!!!

He can’t get over how your strawberry scent always lingers on his skin, your soft voice, the way your back arches……..aw shit, did he bust already?

Gets a boner just from smelling your perfume scent

You’re both whiny brats crying for attention. You for his cuddles and dick. Him for your praises

Like I said in my last Shake x Reader fic, he burned all your toys!!! You didn’t talk to him for a week after that, which left him SO upset!!

Frylock: notices your bite marks “Oh my god, y/n!! Did a wolf attack you?!”

You: “Hmm? Oh, that’s just Shake!”

Fun Fact: Shake’s jizz tastes like pistachio milkshake

[aclowntiny]

🎉Your Birthday With Seventeen🎉

A little special post I wanted to make for my special day! Where my fellow 10/20 babies at 😎 (Warnings: a few make suggestive implications because I think some members would be more inclined towards certain birthday ‘celebrations’ 👀😅 Also 노래방 = karaoke btw!)

S.Coups

He isn’t the type to surprise you- instead he tells you to get ready for a great day! He takes you shopping first, letting you fill your bag to your heart’s content and practically stopping you from putting anything down unless you insist you don’t actually want it. Books, clothes, collectibles, you name your favorite, Seungcheol buys you plenty more for your collection. You basically live out the Anakin and Padme meme when you ask that this is your gift, right? Nope, that’s the matching jewelry sets he got you because you said you’d wanted couple items! Since you guys spent the afternoon out anyway, it’s easy for the day to melt into a dinner together, the two of you holding hands across the table and reminiscing on memories that led to your latest year of life. Seungcheol wants to ring in your next year right, even if it means staying up all night!

Jeonghan

The party can be later- this day is all about keeping you to himself! Jeonghan can hardly keep his hands off you as he brings you to the living room where lights and blankets are all set up, all of your favorite movies laid out for your choice. You grin, but before you can sit down and get wrapped up he presents you with the beautiful bouquet he bought you, some of the most gorgeous flowers you’ve ever seen. Some extra decor, he explains to you with a satisfied grin that only grows wider as you pull him in for a kiss. Then it’s finally movie time, all your favorites and if they’re movies that make you cry, tissues at the ready on the coffee table. You better believe Jeonghan got you the cutest cake he could find for later in the day, one perfectly sized for the two of you since the next day you’ll have the big party cake! The cake is practically the one thing that distracts him from holding and doting on you to your heart’s content, hehe~

Joshua

Decides to throw you a surprise party just to see the look on your face when you walk in! He tells you where to come meet him to celebrate together, completely omitting the fact that all his bandmates and every friend or family of yours he could get over will also be there. In typical fashion, everyone exclaims ‘surprise!’ the moment you set foot in the room, and even if it gives you a heart attack at first you can’t help but beam at the effort Joshua put in to decorate the room, coordinate with everybody, and get your favorite snacks and meal to lay out for the party- all for you! You immediately pull him into your arms and thank him for going to the trouble, trouble he reminds you again and again was worth it. Just to hit home how thoughtful your gentleman is, he gifts you a matching bracelet alongside that one thing you’ve been hinting about wanting for a couple weeks!

Jun

Did somebody say themed party? Because Mr. Wen Junhui did! All of Seventeen’s antics over the years have taught him a thing or two about sticking with a concept and he can’t help but laugh at the mental image of you walking in on him and your friends dressed to match your favorite show or movie. Ok, not full cosplay, but something you’ll be sure to recognize from his clothes. He gets a cake with your favorite characters frosted on it and a plushie of something cute from it to have hold your flowers! The way the rest of Seventeen play along at his behest is heartwarming too, most of the members trying their best to be in character and do bits you’d recognize, all of performance line especially hamming it up for you! You get the most memorable pictures from it, especially when someone gets a piece of cake smashed in their face! All in all, you and Jun are laughing all night, your head falling to his shoulder and his hand taking yours and occasionally bringing it to his lips.

Hoshi

The moment he sees you you’re getting wrapped up in his arms, tumbled around or falling backwards if you’re on or over your bed or couch or spun in the air if you’re standing. His hand closes around yours and then you’re off, getting led on an adventure. Not a second is going to go by without love and fun, whether you guys are checking out the art popup that coincided with your special day or when you hit the slick track where he might just let you win because you’re cute! Soonyoung keeps talking about how your next anniversary or birthday you guys should go skydiving, only coming back down to earth from his reverie if you’re really scared by the idea! After a wonderful dinner, you two rent out a 노래방 and belt to your hearts’ content, swaying with arms around each other and singing a ballad as goody as you can together then getting completely sidetracked in the middle of the next song because you’ve started making out. Soonyoung is so the type to make sure you know that it’s your special day and you get him all to yourself allll day if you’d like 😘

Wonwoo

During the day, you guys can do whatever, but at night? It’s Wonwoo’s plan and he’s spoiling you! He got reservations to one of the nicest restaurants in the area and a new outfit for you to dress up with him- one that perfectly matches his suit, in fact. No expense is spared, candles faintly illuminate the table and you get everything you want to try even if you protest that it’s too much. Not today, Wonwoo reminds you. Normally your boyfriend isn’t one for PDA, but since it’s a special occasion he’s feeling the merriment, eyes extra loving as he gazes into your eyes, leans forward to press the occasional kiss to your cheeks. Beneath the table, his hand finds its way to your knee, idly tracing patterns as you enjoy the fine dinner and dessert. Wonwoo also has a gift waiting for you because, in his words, you’re a gift to him! But that you’ll have to wait until you get home for because it’s a two-part gift- one a bit more for him and one for you since he bought you a game you said you’d like to play together, but also got something you’d had your eye on for some time to make up for any bias in the first one!

Woozi

On your birthday, he wants to wake up next to you, so you stay together the night before- however that looks to you 😉 He doesn’t want to wake you, you look so beautiful even resting, but finally your eyelashes flutter as you wake, smiling at the sight of him and the way he tells you happy birthday in a low voice. He does all the things you normally do for him, gestures like getting breakfast ready and making the bed. There’s something symbolic, poetic even, about being in nature on a day of birth, so he’s keen on taking a walk or even a hike if you’re down to just admire any leaves or blossoms that are out or what endures strongly if it’s winter, comparing those things to you. Jihoon just can’t help himself, singing softly to you as you walk hand-in-hand, his eyes never leaving you. He tells you again and again what you mean to him as someone who lights him up after a long day, takes care of him and encourages him, and earnestly wishes his gifts to you will reflect that. It takes him by surprise when you pull him in for a kiss beneath one of the largest trees, but you can feel his little gape melt into a smile against your lips.

DK

It’s going to be a party all day! Seokmin plans the cutest day, taking you to the amusement park and taking literally every photo op he can. Backgrounds, photo booths, props, even paying for overpriced ride photos. Why, though? Because part of your gift is an adorable, sticker-laden scrapbook of your days together that fills your heart with joy just to look at! Next step is going out with friends for dinner, drinks, cake, the works. It’s a whirlwind of thrill rides, merry-go-rounds, and songs sung with all your favorite people, and all spent in your boyfriend’s loving arms, his smile wide and proud of one of the most wonderful additions to his life so far. Even at the end of it all, you can see how glad he is to have you back one on one because he’d been feeling a bit too shy to give you your big birthday kiss in front of everyone ❤️

Mingyu

Mingyu CANNOT STOP taking pictures of you all throughout the day, just giving you heart eyes at everything you do during your little day on the town. He tells you he can see why that outfit is your favorite, it looks so amazing on you. This guy is also soooo the type to take you all around and make sure to get a few smooches in when people are looking, too- that’s right, you’re his person! Cannot go .01 seconds without telling someone it’s your birthday so they congratulate you, whether it’s a waiter or the person ringing you up for the jewelry he buys you or who he gave the phone to to get a picture of you together. He just chuckles and pulls you in close if the attention embarrasses you, telling you with excitement that it’s your special day, so everyone should be celebrating you! But, he’s quick to remind you, none of them are going to celebrate you quite like he is later 😁

The8

He wants to start the day with you at sunrise, unless you really protest that you are not a morning person! On your birthday morning, you won’t have to lift a finger: Minghao is making you breakfast and tea, draping you in a cozy robe to come sit outside and enjoy it together beneath the rising sun. As you’re sitting there, he tells you all the things he appreciates most about you and wishes upon you for your new year. After that, he draws a bath for you guys before you get ready to tackle the day- whatever you would like that to look like. At the end of it all, he presents you with your birthday cake and gifts, your favorite of which is a gorgeous painting he made and framed just for you! He knows your favorite colors, subjects, what would match your home, and so he nails it. Speaking of nails, he practically has to physically restrain you from breaking out a hammer to hang it up right then and there, telling you in that soothing, seductive voice not now, love, tomorrow. We have plenty else we can do to enjoy your birthday tonight, right? You pout a little at that and all he can do is giggle and kiss you.

Seungkwan

He’s been hyping up your special day now for a while, hinting at a trip, so when you wake up the first thing out of his mouth beside ‘happy birthday’ is encouraging you to pack with wide eyes glittering full of excitement. Your destination, you learn, is Jeju, both of you having been missing the sea and yearning for a break from the city scene. Seungkwan knows all the best places to eat, the most beautiful spots to take pictures and see the water, so every moment takes your breath away, not to mention how sweetly he holds and caresses your hands and how passionate every kiss he gives you is. You stay the night right on the water, no expense spared even toward your night on the island together, however you’d like to spend it 😘

Vernon

Texts you or wakes you up at midnight if you’re together to give you wishes for the day the moment it starts and not a minute sooner. Since it’s your day, he really wants to take care of you, so you find Vernon being a lot more doting than usual, putting music on and taking the initiative to care for you in the bath or shower and do your hair. If you like painting your nails, he does yours and even lets you do his because hey, it’s your birthday what the heck? What a good excuse to have you be holding hands longer. You lay against his chest as he reads to you to while the afternoon away before your evening dinner and movie night, a classic date ending in a late-night drive where he pulls a cake out, lighting a candle for it and sharing it with you beneath the stars. His gift to you is a new pair of headphones, the best he could find, one of those necklaces with the position of the stars on the day you met, and roses cast in resin so they’ll never die, just like his love for you.

Dino

This man is going to whisk you away on a whole birthday trip, like you’ll practically have to stop him from buying plane tickets to fly you guys to Paris. In order to maintain some semblance of practicality, you talk him down to a getaway somewhere more accessible like a road trip or island feery. Wherever that lands, Chan walks you around with an arm around you, showing you off with a proud grin. Every ounce of his demeanor and high head says ‘look at my beautiful significant other’. He’s going to take you out for nice meals and dance with you on a bridge in the dim of night and put just a few too many candles on your blazing cake, making you laugh and capturing that photo before the one of you blowing them out with a wish in your heart and love at your side.

[sunrise-imagines]

Hiii, I love your fionna and cake hcs summer! Could you possibly write some dating headcanons for Fionna? She's so girlfailure and I love that for her 😍

FINALLYYYYY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FIONNA ASKS! Enjoy!

TW: Mention of vomit I guess, it’s only like one little line towards the end

Fionna Campbell x Reader Relationship Headcanons

• My god please help her clean her apartment. The first time you came to her place it was literally the “Damn bitch, you live like this?” meme

• Her favorite date nights are just sitting at home, watching TV and playing video games with you.

• Like many others have said, she is an adrenaline junkie and loves going to theme parks (though she rarely has the money to afford it)

• You can always tell when she gets fired from a job, because she comes in groaning dramatically, throwing her stuff on the floor and slumping against you in the world’s saddest attempt at a hug.

• You then help her get in her pajamas and bring her ice cream to help her feel better. She always says, “Thanks babe” as she shovels spoonfuls of strawberry cheesecake into her mouth.

• It takes a little while for Cake to warm up to you, as at first she just sees you as some rando coming into her home and putting your face against her human’s.

• With enough pets and treats though she becomes more friendly and will rub against your legs when you come in.

• Lazy mornings cuddling in bed are also a given, as she is definitely not a morning person and she will take any excuse she can to not have to get up and go to work.

• You had your first date at the bakery, where Gary tried his best to be a good wingman and snuck you guys in after hours when there were no other people around. Additionally he made you a chocolate lava cake to share, so really Gary is like 85% the reason you guys got together in the first place.

• Likes going for walks in the park with you, petting random people’s dogs and wishing she could get one (Cake would never let that happen).

• Occasionally will invite you to go to house parties with her, but understands if you aren’t comfortable with it/don’t like being around a bunch of people.

• Just like Finn she is a sloppy drunk, expect to hold her hair back while she throws up in the bathroom of the bar you guys went to with Marshall.

• Will fight anyone, and I mean anyone, who is mean or rude towards you. Like you will have to hold her back if you don’t want someone calling the cops on her again.

• Despite her overall immaturity, she’s always there for you if you need her. She’s a really good listener and will offer up advice if you aren’t sure about something, although it might not be the greatest.

• No matter what she always tries her best to be a good girlfriend, and that’s what you love about her most.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

…something been in draft for while:

idk how say this exactly but often like. use what look like binary clear cut dichotomy that have set definition this is this that is that. because oftentimes call “cake” “cake” instead of “flour milk egg baking powder salt etc etc” that kind language faster simplier and nuance can easily put word count 10k+. and. with language communication disabilities not always able translate all nuance into tangible word on paper/screen/type sometimes have to call something with imperfect blanket word. and then you find out other people not really hold as much nuance as you & still simplify your nuance into something binary this this that that

but reality rarely that binary— say on here that nonverbal mean not mouth speak at all all time & semiverbal is struggle all time but can mouth speak some & verbal but actually more nuanced than that like some severely apraxic people who mouth do say thing but not in their control not what they want say & they still call self nonspeaking because it not intentional meaningful speech; or someone labeled nonverbal who actually do commmunicate with mouth words just not full sentence & not full clear pronounce but still labeled nonverbal anyway as almost like microaggression of not recognize their single or two word mouth word phrase as valid enough communication worth listen to; or someone with echolalia that not mean anything with it (vs someone with echolalia that is use echolalia as communication (think gestalts, etc)); or some research showing even able say 1-2 words more ability than those with 0 word; or research debate about where minimally verbal end is it 20 words 30 words 50 words

when combat “go nonverbal” crowd often say there is clear cut about what nonverbal and what isn’t and yeah there is clear cut but also is there

many not ready for this level muddiness & nuance because some take bring nuance as invite to say like “i nonverbal but can still (intentionally) mouth speak” or gateway to claim nonverbality as if fun new identity collect instead of some complicated complex experience with mixed emotion but often some level of grief at some point that get lot targeted awful ableism & discrimination like denied education refuse accommodation like IEP or put in segregated classroom without even consider accommodation in general ed to isolate away from peers n not actual to help nonverbal person where they best thrive, or secluded or restrained, or denied healthcare, denied communication, which all still happen now btw it still common now it not rare obsolete it majority still

which make me feel like this image

[id: meme. left side is philosophers (school of athens painting) with caption “talking about nonverbal nonspeaking with other nonverbal people”. middle say “vs”. right side image is parent guiding infant to look play at toy and captioned “talking about nonverbal nonspeaking with not nonverbal people. end id]

because sometimes really is that but also even this is binary. thinking about how some motor nonspeaking people without intellectual disability who language okay say their mind intact that they not stupid thus deserve education and not deserve abuse and throw people with ID & language impairment. or how nonverbal nonspeaking from autism so different from (but so similar to) from motor apraxia from cerebral palsy from intellectual disability from genetic or chromosomal disorders from stroke from TBI from aphasia from vocal cord dysfunction from dementia from from from… how talking to someone nonspeaking from primarily motor reasons without cognitive intellectual language disabilities as someone nonverbal because high level autism cognitive language disabilities, we not guarantee understand eachother experience, same with talk someone from acquired things vs mine neurodevelopmental, how what i say about nonverbal here may not apply to someone who not speak not because autism etc

but “if words so meaningless if experiences so boundless let abolish all” not helpful because for all kind way be nonverbal there experiences that 100% not nonverbal there experiences so different from nonverbal “not able meaningfully intentionally speak all the time” for every meaningless there meaningful reason nonverbal people use nonverbal and deserve word “nonverbal” for ourselves and how this difference in experience is intracommunity issue issue within nonverbal nonspeaking community something we have to grapple with and not invitation for people outside to talk about how “if nonverbal so wide, drawing line at going nonverbal & say that isn’t nonverbal is ridiculous and gatekeep” because as much vast different experience there is reason why there community why there this word we all call ourselves and. not one. of the reason is we can slide in and out of not speak and speak daily or weekly or monthly or regularly. there still common theme to what we call nonverbal despite different

wide word isn’t “functionally useless” it just you not know how n when use it

& this conversation not just apply to nonverbal but many other words n other things as well

[kozukatt]

Ninjago x Reader headcanons (Bad Day)

✫Zane✫

✫ Whenever you feel down he would make your favorite food 

✫ If you don’t want to eat then he would save said food until you do

✫ His love language is acts of service so he would clean your room for you, make your favorite food, etc. just to see you smile

✫ Zane believes that the way to the heart is through words so he would constantly give you affirmations

✫ If it’s just one of those days where you can’t get out of bed, that’s fine! He would sit with you and bring you anything you need

✫ Zane is a very respectful guy. If you don’t want to be touched? He won’t. If you want quiet? He’ll be quiet. If you need to be alone? He’ll leave you alone, but will check up on you every hour or so

✫ A lot of times, when he’s on missions, he’ll bring you back a small trinket. Maybe it’s a pretty rock or a picture he found that reminded him of you

✫ As soon as he gets back from being out with the ninja, he goes to check on you. It doesn’t matter how long he’s been gone, you will always be his first priority 

Cole

 Tries to make you laugh all the time but if you don’t, he will gladly sit in silence with you

 An absolute teddy bear when it comes to cuddling. He loves physical affection and will always offer to hold you

 If you don’t like physical touch that’s alright! He will give you space and words of encouragement 

 Whenever you’re feeling down he would try to make you a cake, and inevitably come to ask you for help

 If you have body issues (dysmorphia, eating disorder, etc.) he’s in the same boat as you so he will do anything in his power to make you feel better

 Even if he is a people person, Cole appreciates the quiet things that come with a bad day. Of course he doesn’t want you to have one but is okay and will help you

 If Jay tries to ruin a moment in between you, Cole will glare at him until he leaves before going back and making sure you’re okay 

☯︎︎Jay☯︎︎

☯︎︎ Like Cole,he tries to make you laugh no matter what

☯︎︎ But if you tell him to stop he will always do so

☯︎︎ Won’t ever try to push your limits. If you say that you can’t, he won’t push you

☯︎︎ Even if he is a loud person he’s capable of being quiet when you need it

☯︎︎ Freaks out whenever you have a bad day but quickly gets over it to help you

☯︎︎ A sensitive guy. If you start crying then he’ll start crying

☯︎︎ He’ll offer to play him games with you if you feel up to it and will go easy on you to let you win

☯︎︎ If you want quiet then he’ll be quiet, maybe tinker with some invention he’s working on as quiet as he can

☯︎︎ Boy can’t sit still so he’s constantly moving, which leads him to drag you out of bed and dance when a good song comes on

☯︎︎ If you ever want to play with his hair he will gladly let you

☯︎︎ A very physical person but will respect your boundaries

☼Kai☼

☼ If you don’t want him to bother you he will leave you alone no questions asked

☼ If you just lay on him he won’t object he’ll just let you and rest his arm on your body

☼ He’ll do stupid tricks to try and make you laugh

☼ Will baby you automatically from being big bro Kai for most of his life

☼ Gives death glares to anyone who interrupts your conversation or cuddles

☼ Values quality time over anything else

☼ So. Many. Head. Kisses. 

☼ If you let him he would spike your hair up like his

☼ He’s a hair stylist so he will fix your hair if you impulse cut it but before he’d make sure you’re safe

☼ Sends you memes when he’s out on missions 

𖦹Lloyd𖦹

𖦹 Hes not good at understanding emotions so whenever you’re having a bad day he’ll be confused but understand once you explain

𖦹 Let’s you read his comics when he’s on missions (bro values those things above everything so it’s an honor)

𖦹 Just a kid in an older body so he doesn’t know how to deal with a lot of things but will try his hardest

𖦹 Music is his coping skill so he tries to let you have that too

𖦹 Tries to make you stuff but ends up with glue and paint everywhere

𖦹 The most wholesome guy he will do anything to help you even if it’s just getting you water and food

𖦹 If you want to try on his gi he’ll let you and even let you do a little fashion show for him

𖦹 Buys you thing. Whatever it is you want he gets. No questions asked

༆Nya༆

༆ The aggressive girlfriend we all need but will be soft when it’s needed

༆ Doesn’t take bullshit so you are drinking water and eating food

༆ Brushes your hair for you in bed if you can’t get up 

༆ So many cuddles and affirmations on how good you’re doing and how proud she is of you

༆ If you need to cry? She’s there. You need to scream? She’s there. Whatever you need to do she’ll be there

༆ A massage goddess (if you’re okay with it)

༆ If you start going down that rabbit hole she stops you and aggressively tells you how much you mean to her and may tear up doing so

༆ Can’t stand seeing you like this so she tries to do whatever she can to cheer you up

༆ Won’t let you rot away in your room she will make you come outside if you’ve stayed in bed for more than a day

[visualtaehyun]

Had some more notes while watching the rest of ep. 5 so this is an attempt to put them into one halfway coherent post before ep. 6 airs tomorrow and my brain will inevitably have moved on djshdsjh

This is gonna be highlighting word choice as well as a bit of meta. I'll be color-coding words referring to Day and Mork like this again for ease of understanding.

Disclaimer: not a native speaker, still learning 🙏

Day and August

The word choice in Thai is just as intentionally ambiguous as the subs make it out to be. Both Day and August use the word คู่ /khuu/ a lot which can be used for anything that comes in pairs, is matched against each other, is equal/even etc. After observing the two of them the entire episode, Mork very fittingly remarks that if Day wasn't talking about Badminton, he'd think Day was talking about his ex.

- คู่ของผมเอง /khuu kaawng pom eng/ -> Day doesn't even feel the need to specify what kind of partner, the subs added the word 'badminton' - เขาขายเป็นคู่ /khao khaai bpen khuu/ - นี่กูเป็นพาร์ทเนอมึงนะเว้ย /nee guu bpen partner mueng na woei/

- มึงไปหาคู่ใหม่เหอะ /mueng bpai haa khuu mai huh/ -> หาคู่ /haa khuu/ = find a partner - กูก็ไม่ได้อยากจะคู่ใครหรอก ถ้าไม่ใช่มึงน่ะ /guu gaaw mai dai yaak ja khuu khrai raawk, taa mai chai mueng na/ = I don't wanna pair with anyone if it's not you.

ทุกวันเนี้ย เวลาเล่นยังคิดถึงมึงอยู่เลย /thook wan niia, weh laa len yang khit thueng mueng yuu loei/ -> คิดถึง /khit thueng/ literally means 'to think about/of' in a yearning kind of way so it's often translated as 'to miss sb./sth.'

August holds Day's hand and asks Mork (??!) for permission and then Mork's face after letting go of Day's hand and walking behind them hoo boy

An observation: With August it's monochromes, just as the headbands he got for the both of them are black and white. With Mork it's blue and orange and pink and just- vivid colors! I love that Day is caught between them in terms of feelings but also in terms of colors and clothing and framing while Mork is caught in the middle in this shot here, observing, relegated to the background, an outsider. P'Aof is so 😩👌

Cars & Care

Mork is thinking about his sister's car and how he feels responsible for taking care of it now because it's all he has left of her after he couldn't take care of her. Meanwhile, Day is remembering the fight he had with his brother in this same car and how it doesn't matter if he's taking care of the car if he doesn't really care for his own brother. I'm certain both their perspectives here are gonna come to a head once Night and the mom show up again or once Mork fully opens up about Rung.

Mork with Day

เราก็ว่างอยู่อะ /rao gaaw waang yuu a/ -> another instance of 2nd person pronoun เรา

He calls Day คุณหนู /khun noo/ (=young master) and uses polite male ending particle ครับ /khrap/ in both these instances. The first use of ครับ /khrap/ here is more teasing and sarcastic, the latter is just one of many instances during their practice date where it makes him sound sweet, the way you might use it with a partner.

subbed as baby is the word ที่รัก /thee rak/ = literally beloved, a term of endearment like darling, honey, sweetheart - layin' it on thick to tease and flirt lol

When Mork holds Day's hand under the menu, he calls him เธอ /ter/ - an informal 2nd person pronoun that's used a lot in songs, poetry, literature etc. and so it has a bit of a romance trope connotation. Outside of that, it's also used between female friends and by teachers to refer to students, for example.

พี่ว่าถ้าเดย์ผ่านด่านบอสเป็นสเต็กแล้วเนี่ย พี่ว่าเนี้ย หวานเจี๊ยบ /phi waa taa Day phaan daan boss bpen steak laao niia, phi waa niia waan jiiap/ = I think if you made it past the boss level that is steak then this is a piece of cake.

That's not a literal translation but I had to because I can't believe they didn't seize the chance to substitute a slang expression/meme with a pun at least lol - หวานเจี๊ยบ /waan jiiap/ basically means very sweet but หวาน /waan/ can also mean easy.

Mork the sunflower

Mork asks why Day likes sunflowers (him) when there are so many pretty flowers out there (better men) - Day says it's the flower's (Mork's) refusal of darkness, instead always turning its face (Mork's!) to look at the sun. 🥺 Mork is that positivity for Day!!

When Mork offers to buy the sunflower for him, Day declines - he can't see it so he thinks he can't appreciate it (MORK) the way it (M O R K) deserves (Day: น่าจะมีความสุขกว่า /naa ja mee khwaam sook gwaa/ = It'd be happier). About liking August he also said- I should've told him sooner so I'd still get the chance to see his face.

I can't wait for how ep. 6 is gonna unfold, this show has me insane 🫠

[cyberscratch]

'evil'/anti artstyle meme! inspired by excessive-moisture's post doing this same thing!!! i showed it to my friends and asked them to give out my own art traits and basically a list of things i should not do.

the result is this art style! soft colors, less purples, very round and soft, thin lines + no line weight, no trademark things like how i draw fur and mouths PLUS slightly different desighs to fit the style more! (for example spamton being drawn more like his shop sprite)

i drew several characters i'm known to draw a lot / mean a lot to me just to see them how different they are from when i draw them normally! HURTS to not have an oversaturated drawing, uegugh.... but coloring was the most fun part! i love working with colors! the worst part was the lineart because i got SO BORED. fun challenge anyway!

little explanations on each character under the cut since this is a multifandom + ocs post and i wanna short talk about my silly guys ever (my, what the kids call these days, blorbos,)

since this has multiple characters not everyone may be familiar with, here's a tiny bit of info on everyone

frostbite = my fursona! they're a bat / dragon mix. they're holding a mango! nothing much to say since they're just my sona. me, y'know?

spamton = you know him! it's spamton from deltarune chapter 2 !! he's a shopkeeper and a secret boss in the game where he appears in his 'NEO' form. he's based on scam e-mails and ads!

my freak of a son = toontown corporate clash oc - he's a goopy low baller that i call my son. or rather, toontown version of frostbite and i call him their son. regular frostbite as shown in this image and frostbite are separate. he was made using one of high roller's attacks.

scratch = my deltarune sona and self insert! they're the fourth member of sweet cap'n cakes. they're a dj! they're inspired by cat headphones, soundboards and karaoke machines! they're who this blog is named after :P

high roller = from toontown corporate clash! he is a cog 'manager' who only appears during a yearly event 'april toons'. she is a show host and a fusion of two characters ('dave brubot' and 'buck ruffler'). it's show is also the boss fight you fight when they're around!

cathal = full name cathal ray toby bravecog aka the multislacker, also from toontown corporate clash. he is a manager you can fight in-game after completing a set of 'kudos' tasks. they are the VP's son and are based on crt tvs! they're known for being 'lazy'.

blank = (full name blank b. addison) a deltarune oc for my big deltarune au named datapack au. he is an addison who got corrupted by a swatchling mask - which is a new concept introduced in my au. he used to sell movie related trinkets and was a stand-up comedian.

[hows-my-handwriting]

Hobie Brown Headcanons

long post ahead. will put as much as i can under the cut but i will have a.... loose table of contents.

and im not feeding you everything. i need more content to drip feed you later.

the inspo is driving me crazy but the hands are refusing to write.

the table: backstory food british animals

lmk if ppl want this to be split up into individual posts per category. cuz its l o n g

BACKSTORY:

Not based on the comics. purely my own attempt at writing his backstory and his particular villains.

Hobie's Doc Oc was a university professor pressured by Osborn's regime to produce weapons. Hobie had met the guy while crashing a university class, but nothing more than that. Octavius snapped and took the revolution to the extreme. he built a WMD and planned to use it on the city. Hobie talked octavius down and disarmed the weapon.

Hobie's lizard was his close friend and bandmate who got jealous over their lead singer's affections towards hobie. they were close friends until hobie started drifting away. curtis was bitter and never really forgave him. the final straw was when hobie returned in full, having just abandoned his spider suit. the band is back together but curtis still has hard feelings. he knew vaguely about hobie's connection with spiderman but thought that it was some kind of special deal or friendship which was just another nail in the coffin. he turns himself into the lizard and attacks hobie, demanding answers and refusing to listen.

the above is just an excuse to hurt hobie really bad >:3 i love my angst and my beating my muses up. i wanted to break his ribs.

electro was a civilian who just happened to get struck by lightning. he is the sole reason hobie has insulated all of his gear and one of the reasons all of his spikes can shoot excess electricity like one of those funky little electrode balls. hobie took one look at this guy and immediately got to work.

Kraven was a bounty hunter hired and possibly engineered by osborn and fisk to hunt down hobie. classic kraven activities. he tried to drown hobie in the thames. hobie managed to escape but couldn't breathe or eat properly for a week after the attack

hobie's ship was hauled from the local junkyard. It was originally just used as a figure head to lead the charge from the government locked dam blocking off water. it somehow survived so he uses it as his hq.

hobie is immune to his scorpion's venom after being stung so many times and stealing samples of it to build up an immunity. yes it hurt. yes it sucked. but it worked. (loosely inspired by a fanfic)

the above are not in chronological order. mostly.

FOOD:

Hobie's world doesn't have a lot of spices. it's a closed state unless importing 'important' materials like lumber, steel and other sciency stuff, food is a lower priority or just a restricted luxury. the spice trade has regressed to something like the 1600s where foreign spices are held by those in power purely as a status symbol. the common man might have access to salt, sugar and cream, but anything else- especially anything spicy- is a luxury item.

hobie would love spicy food. i just dont think he's gotten much exposure to it. day one out of e-138 he opened a bag of spicy chips in the cafeteria, touched one and exploded.

exotic/foreign fruits fall under this same category but for more legit reasons of travel and lack of safe storage. so for example: mangoes, oranges/citrus, kiwi, pomegranates.

boba would freak him the fuck out. he has no idea what those little jiggly things are and its only made worse when one of the kids inevitably shows him the hamster 'is it worth it' meme. he becomes scarred for life.

if you take too long to take a bite out of whatever you're holding and hobie is hungry, he will just lean over and take a bite out of it. sandwich? bitten. spaghetti? stolen off the fork. chocolate bar? wrapper and bar, gone.

his favorite flavor of cake is chocolate or caramel. sue me im projecting onto him

BRITISH

he holds out his pinky when holding cups. it's just an unconscious thing that turns conscious once someone calls it out. in which case he sticks it out even further

flips the police and the royal family off regularly with the one fingered or the two fingered version. will only respect the french for inventing the creative two fingered fuck you, but nothing else.

has a winter fit that is just like a pile of whatever sweaters he has and two scarves. and long socks that make the space in his tight boots even more tight. sometimes cuts off circulation to his feet.

loves going to pubs and just chatting with people. also loves picking fights with the drunk people. Particularly the irish. he thinks their accents are funny and has long arguments with them while they're both speaking absolute gibberish.

knows french but only the insults. has an arsenal of french insults he will just whip out of his back pocket and drop on someone's head.

not really a british thing but i bet he doesn't know how to ride a bike. he was a) too tall and b) not willing to get his entire skeleton rattled by riding over the cobbled streets of london.

wimpy's fan. (its like the british version of mcdonalds but less popular and less famous. according to my research).

ANIMALS

Hobie keeps pigeons. he built a little house when he was bored and was surprised to find three pigeons hiding from the rain underneath it the next day. he didn't really intend to keep them but they nested and he kept bringing them food and water. he did name the brown one hobie jr.

hobie has a cat. again, not really 'has' but rather 'it broke into his boat and wont leave'. he didn't name her because he can't think of a good one. for the longest time he had no idea she was living in his floorboards but later discovered a hole in the side of his boat and found a crawlspace just large enough for a kitten.

he is freaked out by snakes. not as in a fear of snakes. but rather in utter disbelief that they can be the size of a human person. he's read about and probably seen the average snake, about the size of an arm. but anything larger than that will make his jaw drop right off of his face

he did have a symbiote dog for a short time. the dog was badly hurt and the passive symbiote had merged with its body to try and help it. he offered it a place to stay and rest and it happily agreed. it followed him around for the short while they had together and one day went off on its own.

he still sees that dog around (affectionately named 'spider-mutt') and offers it head scratches or belly rubs but they always part ways sooner than later.

loves opossums. thinks they look funny.

part two? maybe....

might add more to this as my brain keeps turning.

[yuelaos-codex]

Wedding Ship Meme

link to template by @heyneon

tagging @bbrocklesnar @alexxmason @captmactavish @onehornedbeast @finding-comfort-in-rain @carlosoliveiraa @tao-tgsh @ghastlyrider @captastra and anyone who wants to ✨ no pressure ofc!

Decided to do both ending 2 (my canon) and ending 3 to show how different yet similar the routes are!

++ some rambles/explanations under the cut:

ASCENDANT ENDING

THE PRENUP

this is sending me bc i have this long ass timeline that leads to them signing a prenup:

- astarion ascends, then breaks up with selene bc she didn’t want to become his spawn

- selene comes with karlach and wyll to avernus, but she doesn’t last long (she’s a lover not a fighter 💀) karlach convinces her to go back to faerun. she tells her that she has been on autopilot ever since, and she has not had the time to process the breakup. the constant fighting in the hells was not helping

- hesitantly she goes back to waterdeep, where she learns that she is being summoned back to evereska. she journeys there and gets celebrated as the savior of baldur’s gate. she starts creating songs abt her adventures. somehow, she still felt as an outsider in her family despite getting acknowledgment. she goes back to waterdeep where she feels more at home

- she slowly builds her reputation. the reunion party also happens during this time.

- 3 years pass by. she goes back to baldur’s gate ever since the brain. not as a hero, but as a performer this time 🥳

- they see each other again ever since the party

- zariel arc begins(!) selene recruits astarion (and the gang!) to help defeat zariel. this is where they rebuild their relationship, whatever it was. they make house of hope their homebase

- before the final fight, astarion, desperate and pissed off that selene was not jumping on his advances, propositions (again 😩) to turn her. they get into this massive fight. selene tells him that the only way that they can make this work is to enter a (magical, hell-powered) contract, where he can’t compel her and in return she can’t leave or betray him. astarion, who was planning all along to turn selene into a vampire bride (where he actually can’t compel her) instead of a spawn, agrees to it since the contract was heavily in his favor. BOOM PRENUP. they both sign it. astarion turns her the very same night 💀 they’re basically married at this point

- they defeat zariel yay, slowly take over baldur’s gate while also getting a vacation home in waterdeep while also traveling the world yadda yadda. then they have a wedding despite already being married for years bc why not ✨

THE WEDDING

at this point selene is a very famous singer, and astarion close to becoming the shadow ruler of baldur’s gate. their wedding gets called the wedding of the century— think the royal wedding, imagine the masses crowding on the gates trying to see what’s going on inside 💀 they hold it during the daytime to squash all the rumors of them being vampires. their motif is white and gold, and is heavily influenced by elven culture. selene’s gown’s train is around 20 ft long. their cake is 3 minscs and 8 boos tall. the festivities lasted for DAYS. lots of hedonistic debauchery occurred ehehe

THE SONGS

so i chose songs that had wedding vibes but also toxic when you listen to the lyrics. chemtrails over the county club is about choosing to live in your own safe and comfortable bubble despite the ongoing horrors outside (cue in my snow globe symbolism for them). there’s also this line where it says “it’s never too late, baby, so don’t give up” which makes me feel that there’s still hope in the relationship becoming healthy… eventually 🤡 (i mean, they actually have forever between them). you belong to me is very fitting bc astarion can let her roam the world freely, but ultimately she can’t leave him. (this also aligns with one of the voicelines a!astarion has if tav leaves with karlach to avernus as a spawn— he tells them that he allowed them to go with karlach bc he’s not some “controlling monster”. he could summon tav back beside him if he wanted to.)

SPAWN ENDING

THE WEDDING

as for the spawn ending, at first they want to hold it with just the two of them but then word gets around, and now everyone was excited for the wedding! they didn’t expect so many people would want to congratulate and celebrate with them. imagine 7k+ people wanting to attend 💀💀💀

they hold the wedding reception in the underdark, but made their vows privately under the night sky 🥹😭 MOON AND STAR MOTIF LFG 😭😭😭

THE SONGS

just a quick one: there’s this line in your universe that says “you can thank your stars all you want but, i’ll always be the lucky one” which i think perfectly sums up how he views tav/selene. bc who in their right mind would help a vampire— a monster, let alone give them their blood? only tav/selene. (which also aligns with his voiceline saying “other people don’t have a heart like that. you’re… you. no one is like that.”) ANYWAY ENOUGH RAMBLING THANKS FOR READING 😘

[emelinstriker]

I love how all the asks just blew up with Azure's release, this is funny to me. Meanwhile, I'm still planning my wedding to Wukong and Macaque-

Now, because you're focusing so much on Azure, I don't expect a response to this right away, but here's more brain dump about the wedding details.

So I looked more into polyamorous weddings and found out that they are not legal. It's not legal in many places! Of course, not legal in many places does not mean all places, and therefore I discovered that a man can marry multiple women but a woman can't marry multiple men. However, with further research, I discovered that Africa and Asia are both places where it is legal to marry any type of polyamory and given Wukong and Macaque are technically Chinese, it works! Therefore, if we aren't already in China, We need to jump on the Mink Express and yes, I will have Mink turn into a train for this. Why Mink and why a train, you ask? ... ... Anyways, if we go to China then everything's legal and right and such. But what if we want to marry somewhere specific? That would mean we can only legally marry one with works anyways and I would marry Macaque first so he would legally be our husband. The marriage with Wukong would not be legal and would just be a ceremony announcing the next step of our relationship.

But after all that research, I remembered that the Champions and by extent the Readers care not for the legalities so ignore literally everything I just said. Let's get to the fun stuff, little situations I imagined!:

The cake wouldn't be a normal wedding cake, but fruit cake to better appease to the monkeys taste buds! I imagine it would look like a normal cake but have, like chunks of peach in it or even slices of peach on each layer. I feel like Nezha would convince Red Son to add certain designs and just overall help with the design of the cake. Still don't know how to epxplain my thought process there though......

With the release of Azure, I decided that he would try to take most of the planning off of our shoulders, orchestrating the whole thing according to whatever we wanted. If there was something we wanted and couldn't have for some reason, never fear! He'll fix that up with a stern talking to which might result in him bringing home lunch for the other Champions, if you know what I mean. He would also definitely walk the Reader down the aisle with his little bottom fanged smile!

For you, #1 Oracle Fan Anon, we'll invite the Oracle to the wedding and they'll chill in the back with his colleagues/friends. (sorry if I got any of the wrong, I haven't looked to deep into the Oracle's lore) The Oracle would probably leave as soon as possible unless convinced otherwise by this colleagues/friends.

We would also invite the Wukong, Macaque, and MK (and Red Son?) from the neighboring AU, "The King and his Cub" by theweepingegg. TKC Macaque would be bitter about the whole thing, but I think TKC Wukong would also be another man of honor with ESAU MK. And TKC MK would pull some wacky hijinks with TKC Red Son.

And Mink, how could I have almost forgotten him?! (I think it's because I secretly hold a grudge against him for being too Jax-core. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I don't really like Jax for being Sans-core so this is all giving me major deja-vu) Mink would do the minimal amount of effort into helping but he would get us a gift. A colander in particular. Nothing else. When we open it, he would hold up a finger, signalling to give him a moment, sit in the colander for a brief period of time, then melt out of it and disappear of the rest of the night. Again, I can't explain my thought process here.

The fact that this meme works in not just in a literal, but also a metaphorical sense tho-

But yasss I love those ideas fhgnfhgffghfngh I find it funny though how you did research on poly marriages and just threw it right out the window cuz we ain't goin' with standard weddings up in here fhgnfhgnhfg

[thegodthief]

If you could relive any of your memories, which would it be?

Memories that have come unbidden today:

The time my 6yo daughter went to the sushi bar with me on a Friday night and we sat at the sushi bar and the businessman she sat next to audibly groaned as she climbed into her chair. Only for him to apologize to her when she politely asked him to pass the soy sauce because he assumed she would not have any manners because she was a child. We were sat at the border of two different chefs so the entire night they competed with each other to make the best sushi art for her. I had asked for small portions so she could pace herself and they took full advantage of the steady flow of plates.

The first time that I made a drum sing. It wasn't a true talking drum where the player is able to adjust the pitch on the fly by squeezing the drumhead ties with their body as the play. This was a bog-standard kettle (style) drum that was supposed to just go boom-boom-boom, but once my hands knew the drumhead's surface, I got into the rhythm of it and it made sounds that others were surprised to hear.

I will assume that by "reliving" a memory, you mean to "experience the scenario again as if for the first time". First-time joys that I wouldn't mind forgetting if it meant I got to live them over again:

When I tried the internet ice-cream cake recipe with a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream and the resulting bread was so good that I devoured half of the loaf on the day I made it. (I lost the link but it was to mix 1 pint of melted ice cream with flour in a small bread pan and bake as a normal loaf. But I don't remember if it was 1 cup of flour or 2, but it was a big meme on Tumblr for a hot minute.)

Making biscuits for my daughter for the first time and taking the most ugliest, pitiful, visually decrepit, eldritch horror-adjacent lumps of steaming something ever to be ejected from an oven and placing the tray on the trivet in front of her. To call the drop biscuits piss-ugly would be an insult to a regular body function. When I left the kitchen to mope about it, she waited for the biscuits to cool off enough to handle, got the butter, and promptly erased the evidence of two of them before I realized that it was too damn quiet in the kitchen. She later told me that she thought that I had made them ugly on purpose to make her laugh (which it did), but regardless of what they looked like, they were very yummy and she took a third to share with a friend at school. "The lumps hold the love."

Marching band competition in my youth. I managed to score a critical spot for a combined-school band that was to make an entrance into a particular stadium. Front row. The lead player for my instrument section. That moment when the rear gates were opened and the drums were marking the time and our feet were marking the distance. "Ready to play!" Instrument at the ready. The drum major's whistle giving the signal to begin play. A deep breath as the drums counted the cadence and then.

No. That's all nice and nostalgic, but you know what... if we're gonna replay a day, let's replay the day that my band nemesis and I ditched class to go behind the gym to settle once and for all, who was the better player. Except we weren't exactly subtle nor quiet about it, and almost all the band members joined us to bear witness. And our instruments weren't exactly quiet ones either, so it didn't take long for the principal to find us. He wanted to bust us, but the band teacher, who was supposed to have gone home for the day, had found us first and held him back because some things can't wait.

We had chosen a competitive marching band piece for our personal challenge. The better player could play it from memory, on proper timing, without slowing down for the difficult parts, and nail the superior solo. At first we were going to flip a coin to see who went first, but ultimately we decided that since we had an audience, that we would play tandem, and let our peers judge us.

We played. I knew every missed note and timing fumble on my part. Each time I did, I could only hear his perfect rendition smothering me. The short piece was over. We looked at each other. And to both our surprise, we both stuck out our hand to surrender to each other at the same time. He nailed the solo perfectly. He said that I had kept to the cadence far better than he could, even if it meant missing a difficult note to do so. We actually started to argue about how the other was a better player.

And then the band teacher and principal came around the corner. Welp. Busted.

We were told to face the wall and the band teacher took a show of hands from the audience about who was the better player without getting (or receiving) stink eye.

Our peers said I was the better player, this time. So I got first chair for our section, this week.

We all got detention, but if we spent the rest of the ditched class hour helping food services clean up the multi-purpose room, the detention would be scrubbed and our parents wouldn't be called.

My nemesis, my friend. We were ruthless to each other for competition, but we also supported each other and our section. We both learned very quickly that the way to be a better player was not to tear the other down, but to literally play to each other's strengths. I would never find such steel against which to sharpen my ambition again.