#holy fuck i can't believe first how long this is and i actually managed to finish writing this

[sinofwriting]

ours - Daniel Ricciardo (listen, please verse)

Words: 5,479 Summary: Daniel and Sweets first time together. Warnings/Notes: Smut, oral sex (female receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk, Daniel’s really filthy mouth and thoughts, Daniel being a freak, barebacking, creampie(?), slight angst towards the end but ends in fluff, and once again Daniel's filthy mouth and thoughts. (Also the first time I’ve written full on smut in so long and it’s been this lengthy (no pun intended). Really proud of it though and hope you all enjoy.) (part of the listen, please verse but can be read separately)

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He sucks in a harsh breath, trying to breath again at the sight in front of him. It was fucking beautiful, gorgeous and before he can stop himself he opens his big mouth.

“You’ve got the prettiest cunt I’ve ever seen.” Her thighs clench together, “Daniel.” She whines and he drags his eyes away and up her body. Taking in her heaving chest, bottom lip caught between her teeth and wide eyes. His own eyes however immediately fall back to in between her thighs and he can feel his dick throb.

She really did have the prettiest cunt he’d ever seen.

It was all pretty colors, a little slick clinging to her. She wasn’t completely hairless either, something that made him swallow hard. The space where her thighs and pelvis met was free of hair, along with a good majority of her pubic bone. But where she did have hair, it was trimmed. Clearly very carefully groomed and it was all in the places that he knew from a previous ex girlfriend needed a little hair to help protect everything. Though the sight of her like this had never gotten him so excited.

Daniel presses closer, face in between her thighs and he flicks his eyes up, looking at hers. “Can I?” She quickly nods, lip still caught between her teeth.

With her permission, he presses closer. Face just barely an inch away from where he wants to bury himself when he takes a deep breath through his nose and immediately fucking groans. His dick throbs again at the mouth watering scent of her.

“You’re fucking perfect, sweets. Haven’t even gotten my mouth on you yet and fuck,” he cuts himself off with another groan as the image of his mouth on her enters his mind. He was fucking thirty-two yet he felt like a teenager. About to bust just from the thought of touching a girl.

Her thighs try to press together and he grips them tighter. He’d happily let her suffocate him some other time, but not right now. Not for the first time.

“Can I taste you? Get you off with my mouth before I stretch you with my fingers?” “Yes,” she gasps, hips bucking a little. “Please, Daniel. Please.”

He wants to grin at the sound of her begging, at how eager she is. But he can’t not when he’s the same way.

He wants to dive straight in, bury himself in between her thighs and make her cum on his tongue until she’s yanking his curls so hard they're nearly torn out as she tries to get him to stop. Wants to feel her push him away and then closer, pain and pleasure mixing together so much that her body doesn’t know what it needs. He just wants.

Ducking his head, he presses a kiss to her left inner thigh before turning to do the same to the right. He then presses a kiss to her clit, shuddering at the whine that leaves her at the contact. Moving his head down a little, he pokes his tongue out tasting the small amount of slick clinging to her folds and immediately groans at the taste.

He can’t narrow down everything she tastes like, but he can taste a bit of sweat and blood, which makes him take another deep inhale, it also reminds him of some of the plain yogurt he gets every time he’s in monaco. It’s intoxicating and he moves so his left arm is pining her hips to the bed while his right hand moves so it’s fingers are exposing more of her. Spreading her open so he can taste everything she has to give.

Daniel isn’t sure how long he spends between her legs. Going between licking her open, spit and slick making her deliciously wet, to pressing his tongue to her clit, making shapes, spelling out letters and numbers till he finds what makes her legs shake and his name come out as a gasp. He tries not to let it get to him that it’s the number three that makes her gasp and try to buck her hips upwards, wanting more.

He tries, but when he does it again and she whines, he can’t help but groan, rocking his own hips into the bed before really burying his face in her. Nose bumping her clit as his tongue presses inside her.

“Daniel!” She clenches and he flicks his tongue upwards again, rocking his hips when he’s rewarded with his name as a near shout spilling from her lips again.

Pulling back, he rubs her clit with his thumb. “You gonna cum for me, sweets?” She nods, “yes, please.” He runs his pinky gently over her thigh, soothing her. “Gonna cum all over my tongue, let me taste you?” He asks as if he hasn’t spent however long doing exactly that. “Yes.” “Good girl.” And before she can react to the name, he’s back between her thighs, keeping his thumb rubbing circles on her clit even though it’s awkward and overkill with how his nose bumps into the small bud. But it earns him more slick flowing out of her and onto his tongue, which he laps up. Pressing his tongue back inside of her, he thrusts it once, then twice before feeling her body tense up.

He quickly rubs harsher circles on her clit, being rewarded with her hips trying to push up, thighs attempting to come together and her moans and groans before she finally spills over his tongue with a near scream of his name as she tugs at his curls.

He groans at the wave of cum that floods over his tongue as he pulls it out of her. He laps over her entrance trying to get every drop until she’s pushing his head away.

Lifting his head, Daniel smiles at the sight of her. Her eyes are closed, mouth open a little as she pants. Chest moving up and down rapidly. One of her arms still extended downwards from when she had her fingers twisted in his hair, the other laying flat against the bed.

The sight makes him throb a little in his joggers and he can’t resist rocking down one more time against the bed, before he pushes himself up. He quickly moves so he’s laying right beside her, wanting to reach out and gently touch her arm but doesn’t know how sensitive she is.

“That was…” she trails off, finally opening her eyes and turning her head to look at him. “So good.” “Yeah?’ He grins, hand twitching, wanting to touch her, but he redirects it to his shirt which he draws up to wipe at his face. Getting rid of any slick on his face that hasn’t yet dried. She nods, letting out a breathless sort of laugh, eyes falling to his exposed chest before they move back up when his shirt drops. “Yeah.”

Reaching up, her hands rests on the back of his neck as she presses for him to lean down, pressing their lips together as soon as he’s in reach.

She’s never tasted herself before, never done anything sexual with someone else except give a few previous boyfriends handjobs, but she doesn’t mind the taste of herself. It’s not like anything she’s ever really tasted before and she can feel blood rush to her cheeks at the thought of kissing Daniel after he’s cummed in her mouth. Wonders if he’d even want to kiss after she’s given him a blowjob. Her mind then conjures the image of him in between her legs, but this time inside of her and she can feel herself clench around nothing.

“I want more.” She murmurs, when they both pull back, foreheads pressed together, breathing in each other's air. His eyes widened slightly, “you sure? Your thighs have barely stopped shaking.” “I’m sure.” She takes a breath, “I want you in me.”

She doesn’t expect the way his eyes slam shut and the groan of her name, but it makes her confident. And she pulls him until he’s on top of her, hovering, with his arms on either side of her head, bracing his weight.

“Are you sure?” He asks again, eyes open and looking into hers. “We haven’t done anything like this before. And I don’t mind waiting for us to have sex for the first time. It’d be worth the wait.” Something in her stomach flutters at his words, at how sweet he is. “I know, but I want this.” She takes a breath. “I want you, Daniel.” He leans down, sharing a sweet kiss with her. “Okay. But I want to apologize in advance for how short this might be. I’ve been hard as a rock since we we’re on the couch.” She can’t help but laugh and he grins at the sound.

He liked being playful in bed. Liked being able to laugh during and before sex. Because sometimes sex was stupid and things happened that if you didn’t laugh about it then, it would just be awkward later.

It had taken him a while to know that pausing to laugh during sex or just laughing mid thrust was okay, didn’t mean that it wasn’t good or that the night was over. He was glad that despite how much younger and maybe inexperienced she was, that she was okay with laughing in bed.

“I know we’re both clean.” They had exchanged results just a month ago, when tension had started to really build between them. “But I still need to grab a condom.” She frowns at the idea of him getting off the bed to go over to where his bag is. Where she knows a strip of condoms is. It was barely a few feet away, but it seemed too far. “What if we went without?” His heart skips a beat, before coming back twice as fast. “You want to go bare?” “I just,” she pauses. “We’re both clean, I’m on birth control, and I can always doordash some plan b.” “I’ve, uh. I’ve never gone bare.” Hadn’t really thought about it either, other than when he was younger and it seemed like a fucking hardship to walk three feet to get a condom. But even then the thought had been fleeting, just in the moment. But the thought of it now? Of nothing separating them? Of getting to sink into her sweet, hot cunt with no condom on? It made him throb and swallow hard around the sudden lump in his throat. “It could be a first for both of us.” Her gentle voice saying those words, made him squeeze his eyes shut, hand suddenly disappearing between them to grab at the base of his cock. “Shit, sweetheart.” He hisses.

“You like that idea?” Her voice is slightly lower. “Being the first person to cum inside me?” He squeezes a little harder, “Keep talking and I’m going to bust as soon as I get inside you.” The sound of her giggling makes him open his eyes and he can’t help but smile at her. Smile at how she’s smiling at him. “That’s okay.” She mumbles, looping both her arms around his neck, dragging him a bit closer. “You can always make it up to me later.” He stares at her in disbelief, because she wasn’t lying, her eyes shining with honesty. He dips his head down, kissing her deeply. Relishing in the way she moans into it and her nails lightly drag at the skin on the nape of his neck.

“No, this is our first time. I want it to be good for you too.” “It would be Daniel. It’s you. You could do anything and it would be a good first time.” Her belief in him and her ever shining honesty makes him kiss her again. “No, sweets.” He tells her when he pulls away. “I want you cumming around my cock before I finish. For me, to make it good for me.” “Whatever you want.” “Exactly.” He says a serious expression on his face before he breaks into a laugh, happy to hear her giggle along with him.

Her giggle turns to a gasp when his fingers that had been previously wrapped around the base of his cock swipe through her folds.

“Do you have any lube? You’re wet, sweets, but I want to make sure.” She nods, stretching out to reach her left nightstand and opening the drawer and taking out a small bottle of lube. “You’ll have to get undressed first.” She tells him when he tries to reach for the bottle, but she keeps it away from him. “Oh, I see. You just want me naked.” She can’t help but laugh, nodding. “Daniel, you didn’t think that I was with you for anything other than your body, did you?” His mouth falls open a bit at her cheek as he sits back on his haunches, a hand coming up over his heart. “Wow, sweets. That is just cruel. I mean, really. I give you an earth shattering orgasm.” She laughs a little harder at that and he can’t help but grin for a second. “And this is how you treat me.” “Well, I don’t know about earth shattering.” She teases, but before he can say anything she’s quick to say. “But it was without a doubt the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

“You’re a fucking menace, sweets.” He breathes after a moment, releasing the base of his cock once again. “And you’re still not naked.” The words and filled with want they are, make him flush.

Taking off his shirt, he can’t help but preen at how her eyes settle on his exposed abdomen. It’s awkward taking off his joggers and boxers while still being on the bed, all too aware of her eyes on him, but he manages without falling off or hitting himself or her. Pushing the clothes off the bed, he notices where her eyes are glued and can’t help but smirk, chest puffing out a little at her wide eyed expression and slight open mouth.

He knows he’s big, but not so much that it's ever hurt anyone. He’s just over eight inches hard and is thick enough that he fits comfortably in his hand, thumb only going over his fingers a bit when he holds himself.

Before he can say anything, tease her for staring, she’s reaching out for him with her hand not holding the lube and he goes. Settling between her legs in a different way than earlier. He kisses her next, soft and gentle, reassuring and all consuming.

“You still want to do this?” He murmurs when they break apart, eyes heavy and filled with lust. “Yes.” The answer comes out a little breathless and so do the words that follow. “I want you, Danny.”

The next sound that fills the room is the snick of the lube opening, as Daniel puts some on his right pointer and middle finger, carefully rubbing them together to warm it before slipping his hand between their bodies and then her thighs.

Her thighs twitch a little at the first touch to her folds, before she spreads her thighs a little further apart. Moving his fingers a little further down, he feels her clench around nothing when he presses his finger against her hole. Not pushing in, just resting.

Leaning down he presses their lips together and when she opens her mouth a little to let his tongue slide against hers, he presses his finger inside. She’s warm and wet and tight. So fucking tight despite him eating her out not even ten minutes ago and the thought of her wrapped around his cock makes him groan into the kiss, pulling back so he can look down where he’s fingering her.

It’s beautiful watching his finger move in and out, curling it upwards slightly before pressing in another. Her thighs twitch at the second finger and his eyes flicker back up to her face. There’s no pain or discomfort, not even a hint that the stretch is too much, but the way her hands are curled up in the sheets like she doesn’t know if she can touch makes him frown. Wondering what exactly the guy or guys before him have done to her in bed that now that he’s fingering her, she thinks she can’t touch him.

“Baby,” the word falls out before he can think, making him blink because that’s never been a pet name he’s used.

He likes sweetheart, darling, sometimes honey, and with her he likes calling her sweets, my girl. But baby is a new one to roll off his tongue. He shakes the thought from his head, if he wanted to, he could think about it later, not now.

He spreads his fingers, scissoring them as he gets her ready for a third finger. “Touch me.” “I,” she starts, but he curls his fingers upwards and she loses herself to the pleasure with a moan. “Touch me, sweets. I want you to touch me.”

Daniel watches as her hands clench around the sheets before they release the fabric. One of her hands goes to his back and he has a fleeting thought of both of her hands on his back, clutching at him, nails digging in so deep that they leave scratches that bleed, but it disappears when her other hand rests on his cheek. Fingertips dancing over his cheekbone.

He smiles at her, kissing her hand at the same time he pushes in a third finger. She gasps, clenching around them, eyes tightening in the corners for a few seconds, before she relaxes again.

Now with three fingers, he moves so his thumb is gently rubbing at her clit, wanting to keep slick flowing and not knowing if just his fingers inside of her will do that. The stimulation earns him a sigh and a buck of her hips.

Moving his fingers inside of her, he spreads them a bit before pulling them out and back in. He continues to do that, repeating the same motions and watching as fingers disappear inside of her only to reappear with wetness spread all over them.

“Daniel,” she moans when he goes to push his fingers back in. “Please, I want you in me.” “You don’t want to cum like this?” He rubs a circle on her clit, making her clench, but she shakes her head. “Want you in me. Want to cum around you.” He curses, mind scrambling as he pulls out his fingers, hand grappling in the sheets by her hip where there should be a condom, before his mind catches up, remembering that they decided not to use one.

He shuffles a little, before finally wrapping a hand around himself, guiding himself to her entrance before stopping. The tip just pressing against her as he leans down for a kiss. “I love you.” He murmurs. She smiles, lashes fanning out beautifully as her eyes close for a second. “I love you too.”

Pressing against her, he sucks in a harsh breath as his head pops inside of her. Her walls clinging to it.

“Shit.” He breathes, hips stuttering as he pulls back and then forward, sinking himself a little further into her. “Daniel.” His eyes that he hadn’t even realized closed, open at the sound of his name. “You alright?” He asks, seeing her face twisted a little. “Yeah.” She nods, hands clutching at his back, trying to draw him closer. “Bigger than your fingers.” He huffs out a laugh, pushing in a bit more before finally removing his hand and framing her head with his forearms. “I’d say sorry.” She shakes her head. “It’s okay. Good.” She murmurs. He makes a humming noise, trying not to think about how he already feels good to her and he’s barely inside of her.

Daniel watches her face carefully as he slowly sinks more and more into her. Nearly grabbing the lube to pour some on himself at how tight she is, but her own hips are tilting upwards, trying to get him further in. And it’s a fucking fight to not just sink all the way. Feel her completely wrapped around him.

Another twist of her features has him pausing. “You alright?” She nods, “yeah, just big.” Her hips twist a little to the right and the left as if trying to find a more comfortable position. And his eyes dart upwards to the pillows on his side of the bed.

Planting his left hand on the bed, he moves his right arm until his fingers curl around a pillow. “Lift your hips sweetheart.” She does and he quickly stuffs it underneath her. Cursing himself that he hadn’t thought to do this earlier. “Better?” He asks, seeing her face no longer twisted up and her hips bucking a little. “Much.” And she lifts her head, pressing their lips together. “Thank you.” He shakes his head, “this is supposed to be good for the both of us. I’m just doing my job, sweets.”

He starts to pull out, not expecting the way her nails dig into his back and the whine that comes from the back of her throat. It makes him throb, the arousal he had managed to push away coming to the forefront of his mind with vengeance.

“Dan,” “I know.” He mutters, not sure if he actually does. But continues to pull out until just the head of his cock is inside of her. Walls clinging to it, almost like they’re trying to coax the rest of him back inside of her.

Pushing in again, he groans, head falling at the sound of her moaning.

He continues that. Pulling nearly all the way out before pushing back in, going a little further each time. Until finally he sinks all the way inside of her.

They’re both panting, chests and stomachs sticking together a little with sweat and as he kisses her forehead he can taste the sweat starting to gather there.

“You all good?” He asks after a moment, voice tight as he tries to not start thrusting. “I think I hate your dick.” His laugh immediately fills the room, though he stops quickly at the way it moves the two. “Already? Barely been in you?” He grins at her. She pokes her bottom lip out more, enjoying how his eyes lock onto it. “Just not how I thought this would go.” “You thought about this?” His voice lower, rougher and she can feel blood rush to her face. “Yeah, I mean. Of course.” “Hmm.” He rocks his hips a little enjoying the way her mouth falls open with a gasp. “How’d you think it would go?” “Faster,” she gasps as he rolls his hips. “You wouldn’t have ate me out.” He scoffs at the idea. “You’re lucky I didn’t spend more time there. Especially with how good you taste. Might end up living there, in between your thighs, mouth pressed against your cunt.” She moans and clenches around him at the last word and his eyes shine with delight, grin turning dangerous.

“You like that, sweetheart?” He asks, starting to thrust. “Me talking about your cunt? How sweet it is? How wet and tight?” “Yes.” The sound is a mix of a gasp and a moan. “Love hearing you.” “Hearing me what?” He slows his thrusts to a filthy grind. “Love hearing you,” she pauses to moan as he presses his lips to her neck, head tilting back to give him more space. “Love you talking about my cunt.” He curses at the word coming from her lips, dick twitching, and he nips at her neck. “Filthy little thing. Wanting me to talk about your cunt.” He snaps his hips, earning a cry of pleasure from her.

“You like how my cock fills you up, stretching out your tight, hot, little cunt?” “Yes!” Her hips try to press more into him and he curses, pressing all of his weight into his left forearm as his right goes to grasp at her hip, hand gripping it tight. “Fuck, Daniel.” “Can feel you clench every time I say it. Practically strangling me.” “Daniel!” He can feel the coil in his stomach tightening and he stretches his hand out, thumb barely able to reach her clit where he starts to rub. Her eyes rolling back in her head at the sensation.

“Feel so fucking good around me.” He curses. “Best cunt I’ve ever been in.” And his hips stutter at the way she clenched around him. “Please, Daniel.” “What do you need?” “I,” she’s cut off by a whine. “I don’t know.” And there’s tears in her eyes as she feels her orgasm so close but out of reach. “Shh.” He soothes her, pressing down to kiss her. Loving how she sighs into him, mouth opening up for him. “Want me to pull out?��� Her fingers dig in deep and he hisses at the sting of them. “Okay, okay. You want me to go faster?” “Yeah,” and her grip on his back loosens a bit. “Still want you to cum in me.” He groans, hips picking up speed. “Alright. I can do that, baby.”

As his thrusts pick up pace, he presses his thumb a little harder against her clit, rubbing tight circles on the little bud, resulting in whimpers and moans of his name that make him groan.

It’s a never ending loop of pleasure that makes him feel dizzy.

“Daniel,” this whine is a little more high pitched and his eyes are immediately darting to her face. “I’m gonna cum.” “Yeah?” She nods, one of her hands moving from his sweat slicked back to his neck. “Go ahead, baby. Cum for me. Cum around my cock.” He tells her. And she does. Head going back as a beautiful sound leaves her mouth. Her whole body shaking around and under him. Her nails dig into the back of his neck and his back, legs tightening so much around his waist that he can’t thrust but merely grind in her.

It doesn’t matter though because the sound of her cumming, the feeling of it triggers his own orgasm, nearly taking him by surprise and the only thing that leaves his mouth is her name.

He barely manages to pull his hand out from between them, before just about collapsing on top of her, hips still pumping into her a bit as he milks the last of both their orgasms. She makes a slight noise at his weight resting on top of her, but then hums, fingers no longer digging into his skin but running over it with gentle barely there touches.

After a moment, he manages to brace his weight on his forearms again. “Was that alright?” She nods, eyes closed and a blissful smile on her face. “Perfect.” She sighs. “It was perfect.” He ducks his head down, unable to resist kissing her. “It’ll be better next time. I’ll try to prove I can last longer than this.” Her eyes pop open, “longer?” He hums a yes, an arm moving so his hand can gently pull her thigh away from where it’s hugging it’s waist and he presses a kiss to her leg when she lets it drop from him and then the other one. “Maybe not as long as I normally do or can last, but next time will definitely be longer than this.” He tells her as he carefully pulls out of her, rubbing at her thighs when she winces, before sitting on his haunches, her hands slipping away from his body at the movement. “You’re going to kill me.” She whines, a hand going up to cover her face but he can’t reply not with what he’s looking at.

Her thighs are all spread apart, slick on the inside of them, and he can even feel it on his groin. Just knows that if he doesn’t take a shower tonight, he’ll regret it in the morning. But the real thing that’s got his attention is what’s in between her thighs. His soft dick giving a twitch and he knows if he was about ten years younger he’d already be hard again, but now it will take him at least another five minutes.

She’s all slick and shiny. Lips puffy and swollen and her clit is as well. But her hole is gaping slightly as cum, his cum, drips out of it. It makes him want to bury his head back inbetween her thighs, scoop up his cum with his tongue and fuck it back into her. The thought makes him swallow hard and shake his head. Fuck, he really was a dirty bastard.

It’s only as his dick gives another stirring interest that he forces his eyes away. “What did you say?” Daniel asks, only remembering him telling her that he’d last longer next time. “You’re going to kill me.” She repeats, though it’s muffled by her hand. He laughs, “what you’ve never had sex that lasted more than fifteen minutes before? Because trust me sweetheart, it gets good the longer you go.” He nearly winks but her widened eyes and suddenly tense body stops him. “Oh my god.” She murmurs, hand falling away from her face. And suddenly she’s scrambling to sit up, hissing at the way muscles she’s never used before burn. “What? What’s wrong?” He asks, reaching out to hold her, but she shakes her head, and his arms fall back to his sides and hurt filling him. She had never not let him touch her. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I thought I’d mentioned it or brought it up. Whatever you want to call it.” She apologizes, tears starting to gather in her eyes. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” And he wants to reach out again, but doesn’t want to get rejected again, doesn’t know if he can handle it. “It’s not.” She shakes her head and she regrets not letting him hold her. This would be much easier if he was holding her. “I’ve never, or I had never done this before.” She tells him, but he just looks at her confused and it makes her lips pressed together. “This was my first time.” The words come out a little quiet. “I hadn’t had sex before until now.” His face goes blank at her words and she can feel herself panic a little. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I thought I’d brought it up before. I was so sure I had, because we talk about everything. I don’t know why,” she stops herself with a groan running a hand over her face. “I’m sorry.” She says again, not knowing what to do or say.

Silence fills the room and her eyes fall onto her lap where her hands rest, fingers interlacing before separating and then repeating. Her heart sits a little heavy in her chest. She doesn’t think this will ruin her and Daniel or mark the end of them. But she does think that maybe it will fracture some of his trust in her.

So in her head, she doesn’t notice his arms moving until they’re wrapped around her and pulling her into his lap and she can’t help but make a face realizing that his cum is still trickling out of her and probably trickling onto him.

“Get out of your head, sweetheart.” “Dan,” she starts, but he covers her mouth. “No. Out of your head.” His voice is a little more stern, accent a little thicker and it makes her wriggle a little in his lap. “This doesn’t change anything. We do talk about everything, there’s no blame to be had for thinking we had talked about this when we hadn’t. Besides,” he swallows. “I think earlier you did mention it, but I thought you were talking about our first time, not both yours and our first time. But it’s okay. You know why?” She shakes her head and he removes his hand from her mouth, looking into her eyes. “Because I wouldn’t change a single thing about this night, other than the pillow. I should’ve had your hips propped up from the start.” She lets out a little laugh and he smiles. “But really. I made you cum around my tongue first, got you all relaxed for me. Didn’t half ass the fingering or just stuck it in you. So, I’ve got no problems with this being your first time and ours.” “Really?” “Really.” He then grins, a little smug. “Besides, I kind of like being the only person you’ll ever have sex with.” She laughs, shaking her head. “You’re ridiculous.” But her smile turns soft and she brushes their lips together. “I like the thought of only having sex with you as well.” “Good. Because it’s just you and me for the rest of our lives.” She nods. “Just you and me.”

---

Tagging: @lpab @gemofthenight

[matrixbearer2024]

Vox x Reader Headcanons: Fiancé Edition

Fiancé!Vox x gn!Reader

A/N: MY BRAINROT IS BRAINROTTING OKAY I JUST NEEDED TO DUMP THIS STUFF SOMEWHERE AFTER SEEING ALL THE WIFEY ALASTOR AND LUCIFER STUFF- LIKE I LOVE THOSE TWO BUT LEMME YEET IN MY BELOVED SAMSUNG TV NOW YALL- THIS COULD MOST LIKELY BE OOC COMPARED TO CANON BUT LIKE- LET ME DREAM I WANT THIS FLATSCREEN SO BAD P L E A A A S E-

A/N: This little thingy would have both an SFW and NSFW portion, mostly because I'm a depraved little shit and I am downbad for a 7ft bipedal television with issues-

SFW HEADCANONS:

Now first off, y'all probably would've been dating a long long while before this mans would pop the question.

I feel like he'd know that he wants to marry you, but he's so unsure of it plus he's concerned about how that would affect you in all of it.

Like, oh great if this gets out suddenly you've got one of the biggest targets on your back because you're the technology overlord's fiance and soon to be wife/husband.

As if you hadn't already when you both started dating-

Vox is a perfectionist so I'd imagine he would try so so hard to get everything completely flawless for his proposal.

But nothing goes his way that day, none, nada, zilch-

That's just his luck, totally not because it got screwed over by a certain radio demon for shits and giggles.

But he ends up asking you anyway, though a bit indirectly because it slips during his irritated rant.

"I can't believe they managed to spill wine all over me back there! All over one of my best suits as well!"

"Hun, we could always send your suit to the professional cleaners. It's okay! We can always just go someplace else next time too-"

"No! That- ugh! I had all these plans today and they were just ruined! I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect for when I was going to propose to you-"

"You were gonna what-"

Vox immediately shut up once he realized his screwup then.

So much for keeping it a surprise!

That's kind of how you ended up with a diamond ring on your finger that night.

And that's how Vox ended that really stressful day with an extremely satisfying night.

He ditched work the next day and just spent it being all over you.

Yes he admires the ring on your hand from time to time, this man just stares.

You can betcho ass that ring is expensive as fuck too.

Like as if this man didn't kiss your hands enough, that new accessory marking a new chapter of your afterlives just makes him do it more.

He's actually kinda housewife material if you squint-

This man can cook and clean, and as a bonus he's filthy stinkin RICH.

Bro I need me one of these holy shit-

If he wasn't clingy enough before, oh boy get ready for this.

He will always have an appendage on you at all times, a hand on your lower back, your hip, in your hand-

Or he'd just have you in his lap while he worked on stuff in his office.

Also, Vox being possessive as all hell if someone so much as just stared at you too long-

Please that goes straight up to 1000% when you agreed to wear that ring.

You guys planning to get hitched doesn't stay secret for too long though.

With Valentino and Velvette sticking their noses in Vox's business as a daily pastime anyhow-

Hence why a lot of sinners started shipping you two.

And oh goodness the ship wars.

Sometimes Vox wishes the internet wasn't really connected to his brain-

The magazines went wild with that one too-

Cuz imagine, the richest and the pride ring's probably most esteemed bachelor-

Aside from Lucifer probably, Vox's marketing and PR team are insanely good at their jobs-

Was now off the market and due to get hitched with you.

I'd imagine even if Vox doesn't post anything on social media, you or Vel would-

Literally like those married couples on TikTok or something with a whole bunch of cute shit.

You can best believe the most cracked out shit happens while you're both engaged though.

"Oh this is Vox, he's my ex-boyfriend."

"... You have got to stop saying that. I'm their fiancé."

You did not stop saying that.

Actually you wouldn't stop saying that even when his title upgraded to husband.

Not that Vox cares, your shenanigans were what caused him to gravitate towards you in the first place.

And until now they're what keep your relationship fun and interesting.

"Hey hubby, ooooh~ you're looking like the hottest thing in all of the pride ring despite having just rolled out of bed."

"Hahaha, good morning to you too doll."

It doesn't register what you called him at first until he's had his coffee and then it clicks.

You play it off attempting to be coy until he replays the video of you greeting and calling him that on his face.

His. Face.

Sneaky little shit that's what-

He doesn't really respond to any other petname now, you've dug your grave.

"Vox."

"Vox."

"Vooooooxxxx-"

"What? What?? What do you want???"

"Can you peel this orange for me?"

"Really? That's it? Why don't you peel it yourself?"

"Because it tastes better when you do it?"

He does it eventually, hell if he's in a particularly good mood he'll even feed you.

That's always kind of how it goes when you ask him for things.

If it's something you want/can buy though?

You're already in possession of his credit card, just get whatever tf you want HAHAHAHA-

He's still a busy bastard though so it's not really much different from how it's like when you guys were dating-

But he genuinely tries to balance his work a little better to spend more time with you.

This man is such a workaholic though you end up having to drag his ass out of his office to rest anyway.

Again, nothing new from when you were just dating.

You guys jokingly throw around your soon to be marital titles in private.

Vox kind of feels like a kid in a candy store when you do, just giddy and excited for what's to come.

Not to mention he now has a partner in crime when he riffs on Alastor!

He'd be over the MOON if you just joined his chaos.

The radio demon probably wouldn't give a shit, he's just built different like that-

You both get so comfortable that you almost forget that you have a wedding to plan and set a date for.

Until Velvette asks about it and you're both just: "Oh. Right."

Your fiancé's schedule is so fucking packed though it was nearly impossible to.

This guy was going to work himself to death before you could tie the knot lmao-

But eventually you both got a date and venue settled, so that was one step closer.

NSFW HEADCANONS:

Okay so like, I know sinners can't actually copulate unless you're Lucifer but that's besides the point-

And Vox isn't really a family man at all-

But boy oh boy if he didn't have it before-

This man would have an insane breeding kink after you both got engaged.

This man wants to see you stuffed.

Literally doesn't matter if you're riding him or he's just impaling you on his cock-

This guy just wants to fill you up so bad.

I'd also think that you guys would be screwing around a lot more often after he popped the question-

Something about emotions constantly running high and dopamine being one hell of a drug.

I think Vox is a switch, so I'd also imagine he'd be more inclined to let you dom him every now and then.

Or when he just wants to be a bratty little shit please go ahead and tame him, he likes it.

You can kind of get away with more stuff when you're both engaged.

Like tease him a whole ton and he just bites hook, line and sinker.

It's already gotten to the point where the power in the tower would die often enough that Velvette herself has gone through some crazy lengths to cockblock her colleague.

Speaking of, Vox would probably use you as a stress reliever after work if you let him-

Like he will just fuck you stupid until all you say is his name because this guy is addicted to hearing it.

Or he'd let you fuck him stupid until he's so far into sub space he forgets about his shitty day.

Cuz if it's rough, it's rough with you two.

But on the gentler side-

It's just as addicting and if not probably a little worse.

Though you would probably be the one taking initiative/domming whenever you both have gentle rounds.

I'm all for Vox being able to switch some of his parts cuz he wanted to/can.

So y'all have fucking choices when it comes to wrecking this idiot.

Like a multiple choice exam, literally shotgun the fuck outta those answers like you deteriorate his mental.

And consequently the entire city's power grid.

"GODDAMNIT! VOX! (Y/N)! NOT AGAIN!!"

[madrone33]

Listened to the Circe Saga last night! (I'm in the superior timezone, 15 hours before the americans lol /j) Absolutely incredible, did not disappoint!

Here's the notes I hastily typed out during and afterwards lol:

Puppeteer:

The plucked guitar in that melody, thinking of Polites fr fr

Eurylochus sounds less autotune than in the snippet. Musta been compression.

Fuck i can't believe i'm actually listnening to it!!!

The time skip is wind I think?

"Inside we heaard a voiiice!" SO GOOD! SO SMOOTH! I LOVE IT!

Those deep strings tho- oof so good!

"What." HAHA add it to the count XD

CIRCE! It's fucking Circe!!!! Her little riff on "Go ahead and rest where-ver you liiiike!"

The party music is really cool

Her voice at "This is the price" is angelic!

Huh. The party music comes back in the Eury and Ody second verse, but it's weirdly off beat.

Second vese is a bit different from the old snippet. Ody is less... soft sounding?

Ok time to write down the overlapping lyrics.

Yeah I still don't really understand Circe's lines rip

Also, Ody's final line is strangely not emphasised a lot? It's easy to miss behind Circe.

Wouldn't You Like:

Hermes giggles are so mischievous lmao

Ody is shocked and awed at seeing his Great-Grandfather while Hermes is just there for the lols

OOOF YES! The fucking amazing bass in the first chorus!!

The rising and descending harp!

"She can TURN you into an a-ni-mal!" I'm smiling so hard rn, it's HERMES

Here in the root of this flower! So smooooth

That high note on "bEING of your cre-A-tion!" Hell yes!

Not how I imagined that Holy Moly part ngl. Thought it'd pause for a beat to let the joke sink in with Ody's "Ah." being very dry, but whatever, it works, I'm sure I'll get used to it!

Also the beat transition to the end chorus reminds me of Micheal Jackson? Or- wait. Did I just get rick rolled??

The end chorus with all the harmonising vocals and the chorus and Ody' high riffs!! It's so damn GROOVEY

Ody sounds so happy and grateful awww

Pffft Hermes that's cold bro. So blase and teasing. Also yeah, lowkey King George vibes lol.

Done For:

The ELECTIC GUITAR!!

Ody is so sassy passive agressive lmao

The LFOs!!

The chimera roar snarl is very cool!

Ody is one cocky snarky mf

Circe is bitching and sassing and sounds so done with Hermes and Ody both lmao

The HARMONIES ON THE LAST CHORUS!!!

The LFOs and electric guitar mixing!

The sound effects of the BOSS BATTLE! The heavy thuds of footsteps and the snarls. Also that's one sharp sounding sword

There Are Other Ways:

The waltzy sounding strings are so pretty!

Que the key change! And more fantastic overlapping hamonising vocals!

The... hand- drum thing? Took me off guard, still not sure if I like it.

The abrupt "I CANT." YOU TELL HER ODY!! Bro I was so tense without know how he was gonna get out of that.

Not the Penelope stringssss!! *adoring sigh* The Penelope strings... It's so fucking cool how you can just immediately tell exactly who he's thinking about.

"She's my everything... My Penelope..." AHHHHH

Just now realising that Ody tells Circe "Back at home my wife awaits for me" and Circe respects that and helps him, while him telling Calypso that Penelope's his wife doesn't deter her in the slightest. Yeah.

"12 long years" Timeline lore? Write that down write that down!

God of Tides is such a cool epithet

The "Circe" and "mercy" rhyme took me off guard in the best of ways.

And then he hits me with the breathy high "let us puppets leeeave" like bro COME ON

Nylon strings my beloved!

CIRCE IS HELPING!!!

The deep piano drop at "Problem is, this prophet is DEAD" lmao

The return of the LFOs lesss goooo!!!!

Ody sounds so baffled and hopeful and excited like SAME BRO

"There are many ways of persuasion" as in, he managed to pursuade her in a way she didn't expect!!

"Maybe showing one act of kindness, leads to kinder souls down the road..." HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! Circe's on the mercy end of the ruthlessness scale?? Also took it to mean if she shows him mercy, maybe he won't turn and become like those strangers that dealt a heavy loss to her nymphs.

"I have been in love once before" 👀 Circe lore??

"Maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more..." When I realised where this was going! The END FUCKING RIFF IT'S FROM THAT CLIP! THE HIGH NOTES I LOVE IT!!!!

Odysseus and Circe friendship is real!!

OMFG THE CIRCE SAGA'S OVER WHAT????

I love it! The Circe Saga is out, and it's amazing! Thank you Jorge and Talya and Troy and Armando, and everyone else who worked on this amazing project to show us this incredible music, thank you so so much! You should all be proud!

[chewysgummies]

Omg, not me thinking about "The bounty" again. The more I think about the episode, the more I realize how much of a MESS it is. For both Killbot 86 and Commander peeper. Especially for commander peepers since everyone always thinks "the bounty" is good for him cause it foreshadowed/reveal peeper to be badass, when in reality, it is not. Yeah, it did- but only temporarily before they made peeper cry over lord hater and exaggerated how much of a whiny crybaby he is.

Like honestly, remember how in "The prisoner" or something, Peeper managed to easily trick Wander into the ship? Yeah, he didn't capture him, but it wasn't hard to manipulate him inside the skullship, right? And I believe that episode came BEFORE the bounty so It wasn't hard to do that job of simply luring in wander into the ship. So like- Why was that so difficult of him to do?? And remember that line lord hater said?

"You can't seem to do the one thing I continually asked of you"

Noticed how lord hater mentioned he "continually" asked peeper to capture him? So he failed multiple times to get wander in despite how easy it was to manipulate him the first time. So HOW DID HE NOT SIMPLY DO THAT AGAIN??? You can argue that stuff happened off screen and there's a time skip for sure, but like- this is Commander peeper we're talking about. Isn't he supposed to be the "smartest" person? Y'know, to think of a plan instead of playing cat and mouse chase? Anyway, Peeper had his chances multiple times in a row until Hater had enough and straight up called in the bounty hunter cause he was so incompetent at doing his job.

And this is where I start to have issues. literally the first thing we see is Peeper whining to lord hater about what he's doing wrong instead accepting the facts he knew he screwed up and tried to apologize to lord hater for his failure before trying to convince him to give him another chance. Anyway, he proceeds to abuse his soldier, basically lashing out on other, and just- my god he fuckin suck holy shit. I get that the point but like- it made me question why I was into him to begin with.

So like yadda yadda, stuff happened. Sabotaging the bounty hunters. And my poor sweet, dearly beloved badass of robot man I love- I cannot go into details about how much I wanted to cry over him. Like genuinely speaking. I love him so much and realizing how horribly they mistreated him- holy fuck I'll never forgive this show. Fuck this show man- I already mentioned about what they done to him, but they literally robbed him. If given the chance, he would've been important. Especially since it was shown that he was actually crucial to Sylvia and peeper's parallel and the flashback as well. If Sylvia lost that fight, wander would've possibly ended up with killbot 85. I'm so pissed off that they shafted him like this. HE LITERALLY HAS THE MOST ERROR IN HIS DESIGN OUT OF EVERYONE AND THIS IS HIS FIRST INTRODUCTION- HOW DO YOU SCREW HIM UP LIKE THIS⁉️‼️⁉️

So yeah, anyway, my sweet robot got his shit kicked in by Peeper and near the end. Lord hater called him out on his shit and peeper admitted he screwed up. But then you see that fuckin peeper- HE LITERALLY DROPPED ONTO THE FLOOR AND START CRYING LIKE A BABY- i know that peeper is just a "pathetic little meow meow" but like- you gonna at least side eye at this part cause like wtf? Jesus Christ, they exaggerated the worst part of peeper's character here and genuinely I start to think that I kinda regret being into him in the first place?? Literally The Axe does a better job of displaying peeper competently and didn't make him into a full on crybaby.

So sorry for rumbling on about this, all of this come from the fact that I genuinely love killbot 86 so much that if anything bad were to happen to him, I'll cry. Or at least I wanna cry for him. And knowing how everyone seems to think this is a good peeper episode with the knowledge how messy it is, it just- idk. It really is not?? So sorry for the long rant. If you got this far, thank you for reading. Maybe you can argue with me but I'll be honest when I say that I have the tendency to overwhelm myself with bad thoughts and act out on emotion. This episode just made me so upset that maybe, just maybe killbot 86 would've been liked by the whole community instead of being so unpopular. I tried my best to get him noticed and put all my effort & love into him after YEARS of having nothing. It's not fair for him. It's not fuckin fair.

[natimiles]

SO LIKE... I'm a hoe for Theo and I will forever love his route even though I wish the story wasn't squeezed to death by a month. 😞

I wanna take a moment to to adore the fact that this grumpy ass guard dog has so much little brother energy I can't help, but scream (IRL I will be too scared too, but he's really funny when he's being bullied I'm sorry). I mean irl I'll probably bite his hand and tell him to leave me tf alone, but God he's adorable and scary with his older brother. I still feel heartbroken though because of... Well backstory reasons (if you know you know).

Alsoo.... I adore his frenemy... Probably bc he's my frenemy. My God I have such a love-hate feeling with this flirty mfer it's not even funny. I did legit hate him at first though and I still kinda do especially because he does creep me out a little with his flirting like... I get it's an act for the most part, but much like he hates how unreadable Dazai is, I honestly have a hard time reading him too. Still though, I feel really heartbroken for this dork. Yet I also wanna smack him in the face with a broom bc holy shit he needs a reality check. Like SIR this is not okay... Also I love the way this guy just had this pouty face, kinda makes me wanna bully him a little (even though I'll probably be to scared to bully him just like with Theo). Irl I'll probably absolutely hide from him though like the flag and absolutely wouldn't tolerate his attitude (I know he'll actually be understanding, but that'll take a long time to believe...) I feel bad, but like that's the honest truth.

I wanna befriend Issac, but I'll probably be scared to approach him. I mean we probably won't have much in common bc I'm anime/ manga/art-ish hoe, but something about him makes me wanna befriend him (possibly marry him)? He just looks so friend SHAPED even though he hates it...

Also I hc Levi with gifted kid burnout (totally not bc I'm sorta projecting myself onto him). Bro undervalues himself way too much... I was also gonna add that IRL every brother in the game will probably hate me solely bc I absolutely have no confidence and I rather hide especially to due the fact that I'll be far from home. 💀 I also probably be too scared to talk to Levi and Mammon even though I love them very much. Idk as much as I like tsun-tsun, I genuinely be to dense to understand and absolutely to sensitive to the shit they'll say.

Sill though, Levi is an mood and if I manage to not be... A weirdo, I'll probably get along with him the most ( even though he'll be yelling at me to finish the fucking manga properly). Mammon though... I love this dumbass, I truly do, but I swear we'll drive each other insane.

Also adore Levi when he's cocky (even if it'll start sting), I just swoon over a character who lost his confidence finally getting it. It's just.... Amazing. Mammon being the big bro... 😭 Oh how my heart burst.

YES! Let’s all agree that ONE MONTH IS TOO SHORT! At least Ikesen MC had 3 months before deciding to stay in the past. It bugs me that we have such a short time with them. I understand they didn’t want really long routes or whatever, but... damn Cybird, ONE MONTH? But it’s still better than ELEVEN DAYS, right? Yes, I’m talking TO YOU, Mystic Messenger.

HASIUEHASIUEHAS, he calls us hondje but he is such a puppy! Like Vincent just goes “Be nice, Theo. Shut it, Theo” and he just “Fine, Broer…” HIUSAHEAUISHESAIUH. But yeah, I know! It’s been a while, but I played his routes... Interlude helped a little to remember some things. And damn… it’s a lot to take in and develop IN ONE MONTH, CYBIRD! For both of them, really. I hate Vincent’s ending Irl I’d probably not get too close to Theo but not because he scares me, but because he’s rude HASIEHASIUE.

I. LOVE. ARTHUR. This bitch has so many issues. He’s another puppy that just wants (and needs) to be loved 🥹 And I love their relationship! Frenemies? Yes! Besties? Yes! Best wingmans for each other? Yes! LOVERS? FUCKING YES! I wanna smack his face with my face. Or with Theo’s face, whoever is closer, HASIUEHASUIEHSA. But even if it's a platonic relationship, Arthur is such a good friend. He really cares for others… He’s the one who helps Theo in Interlude and it’s precious 🥹

Me and Isaac don’t have anything in common. Would that stop me? Absolutely not. Just come here and let me love you, you awkward hedgehog! I LIVE TO LOVE SHY MEN! He would be a good friend too! If he considers you a friend, it means so much to him! But I’d rather marry him, HAISUEHASUIHESA. And we would bond over the things we like, even if they’re so different. I like the stars, but I don’t know much about them, so he could teach me. And I could tell him about all my favorite animes, mangas and games. 

Ooooh! I searched for it and… I can totally see Levi! People tend to think Satan is the only one that’s actually smart, but they all are smart in their own ways. I feel Levi is not appreciated enough, even in-game. Sometimes he’s there just to be funny and to be the awkward, shy guy. My baby doesn’t deserve that, he deserves so much love. Also, I think Mammon totally has ADHD. He’s good with math, as long as you explain it to him as if you were talking about money (his hyperfocus). Belphie is smart too, he sleeps in every class and he still has good grades. 

Irl I’d get closer to Levi and Beel first. I love cooking, so Beel would love me quickly. I wouldn’t help Belphie because I’d obey Lucifer and stay away from the attic, HAISEHASIUEHSA. Mammon is the type of friend I could have and that I would want to kill every 2 seconds, but I couldn’t leave him alone or he’d get in trouble and get himself killed. But out of everyone, I think Solomon is more the type of friend I usually have? I don’t know why though, I just have this feeling about him, AHSIEUHASUIEHSA.

I LIVE FOR A COCKY AND CONFIDENT LEVI! Gimme moooooore! I was looking at some random screenshots I have here and I found one of him, I think it’s from that beach Devilgram. The one we have an animation from him… I don’t know the name, HAIUEHASUIEHSA. But the point is: Levi can be assertive and confident when he really wants (or needs) to!

Ignore the awful quality. I had to play at the lowest quality because my phone wasn't the best at the time, AHSIUEHSA.

[leqclerc]

About the Charles contract lenght it's la gazzetta i wouldn't believe a word from that paper even if confirmed by charles himself (also a decade charles you're sick in the head idk if affectionate or derogatory)

Okay so valid actually 😭😭😭 They flip flop on him so hard as well, like now the headline is The Investiture of the Little Prince but I'm pretty sure they were running a narrative just a few months back about how he can't get it together and actually Sainz is the superior driver. So yeah, I agree, caution is advised when it comes to La Gazzetta.

But 2029 isn't that far off 2028, which I think is the duration we've most recently settled on as being credible enough as per paddock rumours. And it does seem just insane enough to be on brand for Charles (marks 10 years since he first joined the team in 2019. Also, holy fuck at the cruel and relentless passing of time in general.)

So far I don't think anyone's confirmed to stay on in their current seat for longer than 2028, and the only one that's 100% confirmed until then is Max. So if Charles's extension were to also run until the end of 2028, that would possibly leave him some room to initiate talks with Red Bull (should Max leave, should Ferrari not live up to his expectations, should Red Bull still be interested in him by then—a lot can change in 5 years after all.)

Whether it's 2028 or 2029 or whatever I still hope there's an option in there somewhere, and that it's not just one non-negotiable chunk of a long-term deal. Again, I'm sure he knows a lot more than we do out here where we can only really speculate, and that he has more insider information that maybe allows him to have a broader view of the team's future, which is possibly what's enticing him into signing on for the longer term. But yeah I hope he still leaves himself some kind of leverage or negotiating power or clause to give him that security so he's not completely hung out to dry if things don't go the way he envisioned. Cause unfortunately we've seen that play out time and time again, and even champions aren't 'safe' from that worst scenario fate. Then again there's only so much we can do as fans and enthusiasts—he's a big boy and can and will make his own decisions (with help and support and advice from his management and those closest to him no doubt) and ultimately he's the one who will have to see them through, whether that's to his benefit or his detriment.

[drymushroomfics]

First Words

Harry Hart x ofc

Harry looks down at his palm, the words 'Fuck Me' in all capital letters are designed there.

He shakes his head, still unsure how the first words his soulmate will say to him can be that.

He can't believe he even has a soulmate. He's always been alone. No attachments. That is what his job requires.

Things have changed in Kingsman; Eggsy's married.

Maybe he can find someone...

He never longed for someone before being shot by Valentine. It scared him the way he didn't have anyone to miss. He had nothing in his mind when he was shot.

He finishes getting dressed before heading into the mission.

"Location.", he says, asking Merlin where his target is located.

"left room. Be careful. Their captive is feisty.", Merlin replies, chuckling.

Harry sneaks inside, looking around the corner cautiously. He sees three men trying to keep their captive down. Merlin wasn't kidding. He checks his target who is standing in the corner, smirking at the scene.

"Bastard.", he mumbles to himself.

He prepares himself before going in,  guns a blazing. He manages to shoot all three in the blink of an eye.

When he looks at the captive, his mind seems to flat line.

He forgets about the target until he hears the cocking of a gun. He turns around, mentally cursing himself.

"Kingsman. Always fucking up my plans.", he says, aiming it at Harry.

Harry is trying to think of every possible way out of this situation.

He jumps in surprise when a bullet goes through the target's head. He turns to see the captive holding a gun.

"Fuck me.", she says, as he walks over to her.

He stops when she says it. He looks down at his palm as it turns red..

"I killed him... I've never even shot a gun before.", she continues.

He holds out his hand to her, "My name is Harry Hart."

She stops rambling and looks at him.

"Holy shit... You're Harry..."

She rolls up her sleeve, revealing 'My name is Harry Hart' on her wrist.

"It's you", she says.

"It appears so but right now, we need to leave."

She nods, wondering if anyone else is going to show up.

She follows him out the door when they both hear gun shots.

"Shit. How many more, Merlin?", he asks.

"At least a dozen. Get out of there Harry!"

He quickly grabs her hand as they make a break for it. They run down the hall and make a left. They notice the all clear and run toward the car. They get in as quickly as possible before driving off.

As Harry catches his breath, he looks over at her.

She laughs. He looks at her oddly.

"I can't believe this... I was kidnapped, found my soulmate, and ran from 12 men with loaded guns..."

He doesn't know what to reply. But he's equally as shocked. He didn't expect her to be the one. Yet here she is, sitting next to him with his name on her arm.

  Once they make it back to Kingsman, he takes her straight to the infirmary.

"I'm fine. Really.", she says, sitting on the bed.

"You are covered in abrasions and welts.", he says.

"It's not as if I've been shot or stabbed."

He turns his head, feeling oddly enamored by her.

"That is besides the point."

He waits outside while she is being treated.

He turns around quickly when the door opens. She's standing there, bandaged and clearly annoyed.

"So... Where are we?", she asks as they walk down the hall.

"Kingsman Headquarters."

"Okay... So you're a secret agent? Like James bond?"

He nods, "I've been doing this for quite a while."

"Um... Since this is your profession, I'm assuming you know everything about me already."

He nods again.

They walk into Harry's office. He offers her a seat before shutting the door.

"Um... So what does this mean...?... We're soulmates... And...", she says, trying to bring up the obvious elephant in the room.

"I'm almost fifteen years older than you... Does that bother you?", he asks, sitting down.

"No... I've always liked older men... Does it bother you that I'm younger than you?"

"I don't particularly seek younger women... Well, I don't seek anyone actually."

"Have you ever been in love?"

"No... I've haven't dated anyone since I joined the army."

"...Sounds lonely."

"It is I suppose..."

"Do you want to be in love?"

He looks at her and for the first time, he decides to be open and honest.

"Yes... I would like to share my life with someone..."

"What changed you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've spent all this time ignoring a whole part of life... Does it have something to do with your eye?"

He turns his head away.

"One of my missions went wrong... I was shot..."

"How did you survive?"

"In the U.S., there is a secret agency. They found me and with their technology, preserved me from death but... right before I died, I realized that I was alone. I didn't have anyone to miss me and I had no lost loves.."

She brings her hand up to touch his.

"I've never been in love; not really... I've dated only a few times but I'm open to exploring this... Your name is permanently on my wrist so it's not as if I can forget about you anyway."

"Do you want to forget?"

She shakes her head, "No... I think you're worth exploring. After all, you did save me."

"Actually I owe you. You saved me,"

"Well you could take me to dinner. That'd be a start I think."

"I'll cook something special, then."

"I'd really like that, Harry."

[bright-haired-teacher]

going to vent this here, it's long and it's personal and it has nothing to do with teaching so don't even click it if you're not interested in me ranting about my partner

i can't fucking stand him anymore. we've lived together 5 years and i feel nothing but anger and frustration when i think about him. and he's completely fucking oblivious to how unhappy i am, just sits there and tells me "i love you" and i never say it back and this is Fine, to him i guess???

i'm so fucking miserable. like now that my work situation is sorted, i can acknowledge that my home life is a piece of shit. i'm happier when he's at work (he works 24hr shifts, sometimes even 48 which are AMAZING). i'm happier when he's not home. i sit there with the dog and i breathe a sigh of relief because i don't have to be on edge all the goddamn time.

he is not abusive. i can't stand him, but he's not an abuser. he's just. annoying. we are not compatible.

and of course i'm fucking poor as shit! i'm a teacher! and rents around here have fucking skyrocketed just like everywhere else. so i feel stuck! though i did spend a significant portion of my planning this morning doing math and making calculations to see if i can make it work and i can - barely - if i can find a rent payment under 1k (which do exist, tho they're rare) and if i don't consider things like security deposits, but i know i have friends who would spot me.

nowadays when i'm home i'm just so angry at him all the time. and i can't bring anything up to him because he gets so bitchass butthurt about it. like idk maybe it would be easier for you to clean your table if you would put stuff away as you use it instead of waiting until it's fucking disgusting!!!! and no i am not going to clean up behind you, i am not your fucking mother!

and like holy shit i cannot sleep when he's home, i'm just on edge. he makes so much noise. if i go to bed first or a take a nap, he is out there with the TV on fucking blast and using the ice maker and slamming the fucking door and like. HEY ASSHOLE. I AM TRYING TO FUCKIGN SLEEP. but again, let me bring it up, and he'll bring up the one time i woke him up like 2 years ago when i found judy on a nook island after like 600 tickets and i was freaking the fuck out!

he doesn't manage his health, he has diabetes and he shits. all. the. time. and it's fucking disgusting and the bathroom is right by my computer room so i get to listen to and smell his rancid ass constantly and sorry not sorry but if you're shitting that much there is SOMETHING WRONG, go see your doctor and/or fix your fucking diet. and he got mad at me last night for opening the bedroom door when HE FARTED AND IT SMELLED SO BAD I HAD TO HIDE UNDER MY BLANKET and he gets all sobby sobby "i can't help it" okay but we don't have to fucking soak in it, you could open the fucking door or something or spray the room or literally do anything to make it so i don't have to breathe your disgusting ass toxic fumes.

like goddamn i'm so fucking sick of him. i'm sick of the mess he makes and then he complains to me about it like it's my fault he made a mess???? fuck you. "if we buy a house together i need to know you can keep it clean" UH EXCUSE ME THOUGH WHOSE MESS IS IN THE KITCHEN. WHOSE MESS IS IN THE LIVING ROOM. HOW MANY CLOTHES ARE ON THE FLOOR ON YOUR SIDE OF THE BED. i was stressed tf when my part of the house was messy because of transferring schools and all the shit i had to bring home, and when i moved into my new school almost all of that was handled so we are not the fucking same.

can't even use the goddamn couch because he comes in the door and just dumps all his shit there after work like omfg seriously just put. it. away. it just piles up and makes it worse and you want to be all pissy about the mess that YOU. MADE.

and he's over there telling me how much he loves me and calling me "love of my life" and i'm like shut the fuck up i actually hate your fucking guts so bad and i can't believe you don't notice how i stiffen up when you wanna touch me and how much i get aggravated when you interrupt me when i'm doing something (like who THE FUCK interrupts someone who is sitting with a book in their hands? I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT INANE TIKTOKS I AM READING) then you're all oblivious like "are you mad at me?" YES! idiot! yes i am fucking mad when i'm doing something and you're making a fuckton of noise with your obnoxious tiktoks that you watch over your obnoxious reality TV. please leave me the fuck alone.

i cannot wait until i have enough money to move out of there. i wish i had never moved in. the whole point was to move in, split costs and save up so i could buy a house and then the fucking pandemic happened and shit skyrocketed and now i feel stuck af and i'm just fucking miserable and home is supposed to be my space to relax and i fucking can't and aspdgas;ldksjags;aoiseua;gliu ugh i hate.

i miss living alone. people think that you need to have a "connection" with someone, you have to surround yourself with people. no. i don't. i need animals and the internet and i'm FINE. people are assholes and make me miserable and that hasn't changed in 42 fucking years so leave me alone. please. goddamn.

ok i'm done because i do have to actually do some work today. motherfucker.

[bonesandthebees]

ok sd anon with the Official Long Message Reply

ohio conceptually is so fucking weird but turns out my fifth grade best friend who moved away after a year is also here so we have been hanging out so much it’s so great she came w me to a few poetry open mics

also oh god how was covid experience i still haven’t gotten it knock on wood

fully do not understand how i have gotten bitches. how. what’s happening. i made rock candy w two other interns a few days ago and we threw a couple packs of pedialyte in there

also also ! bigger vodka person than tequila

also thank you!!!! i’m out here for an engineering internship i actually gave my final presentation to senior leadership yesterday! plant manager + every department head were there to hear the interns present abt their projects and oh my fucking god i thought questions and comments were just a formality THEY WERE NOT. my thing was a software data organizational structure to optimize pulling up relevant equipment data (eg boiler pressure) bc previously you needed a very specific code to find Anything now you can look up vague phrases and find what you want. this system is my baby. i have categorized over 1600 pieces of data and associated them to the correct equipment and system.

ANYWAYS at one point a guy was like okay so a) how is this not already implemented everywhere and b) how do we turn this into a [company] global engineering standard. i am in Shock. also i think they hired me part time over the school year to do the same kind of work i’m doing right now! did not think i would end up basically a software consultant. also i am 20 why the fuck am i getting responsibility.

how has your summer been??? i feel like i have talked in Detail about mine lmao how have the summer classes been? i’m taking a physics one online rn it’s annoying af. did you take that sf trip??? do you know what you want to do for work? also you’re in a good city for it! sd is one of the two big biochem biotech hubs aside from boston! tbh i’m probably going to end up coming back there in the end bc i’m biochem engineering

also cause the company i’m interning with takes 150 interns Total bc they said they put effort into us So they can hire us, not so they can train us to work for other people so. basically i almost certainly have a guaranteed next year internship and hopefully basically guaranteed full time job when i grad!! number one engineering internship in the country <3

yoooo open poetry mics that's so fun!!! also wild as fuck to run into your old friend like that, we love fate playing funny little games with us. so glad you guys got to reconnect!!

covid sucked but thankfully wasn't super serious. i was so feverish and out of it for the first day, then it gradually got better day by day. i'd say the only concerning thing was when i had an episode of super severe chest pain like my second night i was sick?? i mean i had the same kind of chest pain the day after i got the second dose of the vaccine, and I was fine after that so I didn't do anything about it? but yeah that was definitely a scary moment of oh god should I go to a hospital... nah i'm probably fine

pedialyte?? in rock candy???? was that good??? also i'm very happy for you for getting bitches but also i'm jealous wtf when will it be my turn i just want a girlfriend

so fair!! tbh I like vodka better than tequila too. while I like the taste of tequila in cocktails more, I like the kind of drunk I get from vodka better. it's uhh cleaner I guess? a cleaner kind of drunk if that makes sense

also holy shit that's so cool?? you sound SO smart sd anon goddamn good for you. that honestly sounds like a super useful system, and i can't believe you got a job!! that's fucking amazing!! you're doing such big things, that's so cool honestly. I'm so happy your engineering stuff seems to be working out for you <33

my summer has been good!! my uni has two rounds of summer classes, so for my first round I finished the classes and got an A in one and a B in the other so we win these :) now i'm on my second round and I had to read a super dense research paper today about synthesizing malaria drugs and one of the questions was like "use what you learned in biochemistry and molecular biology to explain the nomenclature of these mutation names" and I took both of those classes a full year ago so I just fucking blue screened

the non school parts of my summer have been alright! mostly I just hung out with my best friend whenever I was down in SD for classes, and she also drove up to LA a few times. we were trying to spend as much time as possible together because she got a job with the NIH in DC so she's moving there for 2 years. she left about a week ago and i miss her sm already, but I'm really glad we got to spend a lot of time together before she moved. she's shown me so many great bars in SD (including the one I recommended to you!), definitely gonna use that knowledge for the future

also no we did not take the sf trip it just didn't work out :(

no I don't know what I want to do for work aaaa I wanna do something writing related but idk I might just get a gig as a lab tech for a bit since I have all the qualifications for it thanks to my ~bio degree~ and my lab experience. just so i have something to do while i figure out how to break into the writing industry. (I need to figure something out though my mom desperately wants me to work for her and while the fashion industry is cool I really do not wanna work for my mother again. I did it for one summer already and that was enough) (the work itself is fine my mom is just more of a hardass on me compared to a normal employee bc I'm her kid lol)

omg biochem engineering!! another friend of mine who was also biochem engineering is moving to boston bc she got accepted to a PhD program over there right out of undergrad. I was so impressed

god im just. adulthood. please. i'm not ready fuck.

[junipaca]

jotting my thoughts on pokemon rejuv so far since im just finished battling hazuki.

likes:

hell yeah more utilization of double battle scenarios. those are my jam and butter i have so much fun calculating who's gonna target who and what the fuck should i go for. I'd like to thank my cinccino and weavile. fakeout helping hand combos so well with my tanky or fast sweeper pokemon.

the field options and crest system are cool as hell. its gen rlly creative and i had to get used to it and use my brain, it throws a wrench in usual pokemon play and style. it also lifts some underutilized pokemon! its manageable though. and the boss battles were gen rlly cool! rift pokemon my beloved. rlly hard in the beginning but i learned to cheese it eventually (curse + leech seed + whirlpool + toxic with corrosion)

the difficulty i think is spiked p well, its good enough that you aren't out of options, almost never, but you got to use your head around certain teams and foes. EV training is a MUST, luckily there are EV training centers. i hate IV hunting so i used the password for full 31 IVs all the way . you also need some basis of pokemon competitive i'd say.

speaking of passwords those are gen rlly nice to use, saves some time. i got a remote pc with me and that saves like 50% of the handling when preparing for a boss battle.

the aevian forms are so cool. my fav has been probably chandelure and leavanny so far but i just caught a feebas so who knows. i also have a gastrodon who's so silly i love that design

god the characters are so nice. i love the individuality of each character presented to the player, and you kind of got to twist one part to get to the other and know why the first part was twisted. that being said, if you asked who my favs are its adam ren and talon. silly dudes. but i also know i would EAT this up in my younger years a lot more. but even now i still adore them. found family is dear and nice, especially well done for a large cast jesus fuck

also worldbuilding. i don't want to say more but woah. good job.

i adore [REDACTED] very dearly and i have to apologize every time i see them. i wish i got to know them more. hopefully more appearances later??????

iffy stuff:

i want to like venam and melia's relationship a lot more than i do now. i think its just uncertainty with their previous known age gap before the time skip? eh.

I'm. very confused about Risa's whole schtick. i don't want to say more than now because spoilers and all. but i think too much information got laid on with that arc that my brain exploded there. wish it was just a bit clarified or so . (also is she 18 or 21??????? the internet and the game confuse me. this matters because i have to know whether to sock dylan or not)

some of the sidequest lines are misleading. they say "go to [here]" and when i go there nothing happens. its only when i search up the issue online is when i find out that i have to do Something Else first. just wish it was more clarified or such? if that makes sense? its like someone told you to go to the field or smth but didn't say you had to talk to the lady at the building first.

honestly i think the story confusions i have now are going to wait until The End of this game because rn it isn't fully complete. i will wait as long as needed until everything releases before i can make a full assessment. like. this has so much work put into this game. for FREE. NOTHING OF COST. like holy shit i can wait forever and ever. i have 130+ hours into this game. i can't believe this is nothing of cost. so a positive note here in this category.

comments:

honestly ive seen a ton of critique towards this game, so i was sort of jumping around trying to assess how hard it was going to be and whether or not i would be actually interested. i'm delighted to say i am. key note: don't listen to reddit when they say "too edgy". i know my edgyness. i i also quite enjoy some of it. i think its a matter of taste.

if you try out this game do have. a lil handful of pokemon experience in terms of speed, sweeping, and tanks. i think some basic knowledge there would go a long way. then again i played normal mode, there is an easier mode if i remember. either way, get ready to strategize.

also rec me more games im almost caught up w everything pretty please i need something to occupy my brain.

[imissthefire]

well gods damn it all, I'm in part 4 finally and haven't said a word since I started, but hrjskajdks I have so many thots and feelings. under the cut because it's meaningless rambling but if u feel like reading then that's chill

First one being WHERE IS MY BABYGIRL (I know I get him soon but I'm still annoyed that I've had to wait so long and I miss him) second, why the FUCK is pelleas. Like. Just why. Why he? For the first 2/3rds of his presence, I wanted to drop kick his ass to hatari but eventually he went from being a fucking loser (derogatory) to a fucking loser (affectionate) and now... yeah. it's my first playthroygh, I could not save him and was unfortunately very upset by his dumbass sacrificing himself without reading the fine print. And then mommy almedha finding out her dumbass precious son died for naught but also it's fine, he was clinically stupid so it wasn't an unforeseen scenærio. Can't believe iz*ka found The Most Pathetic Little Guy and said "yeah, yeah, he's gonna be the next king" like I know he wanted someone easy to gaslight and manipulate and all that jazz but holy mother of FUCK could he not have found somebody with like even an ounce of confidence or self-preservation 😭 it did work out tho for almedha tho seeing as her aggressive need to mother hen the hell out of a child paired very well with how helpless and less-than-with-it pelly was. If only her son was a genius mage with a hunk of a bf and not a pathetic limp noodle mage with a lowkey cute crush on miccy, but alas, this is my first playthrough therefore those dots will remain unconnected ✊🏼😔 but got damg. Also, insanely silly of kurthy to be all :( I love my sister and dead brother who sacrificed everything for our nephew who is now also dead :((( when he's actually very much alive and well, like, two tents over. Crazy stuff, man, truly.

And damg don't even get me started on how fucking stressful drafting the armies was because I spent over an hour on it and I just got to the 2nd chapper with the elincibarn army and I realise now that I made a Big Mistake because they're so underpowered 😭 I made so many mistakes drafting that but at least I was locked with tibs AND ranran, both of whom have been pretty great so I have hope that between them, elincia and the LBGs (I assume b*stian will join us at some point (I need to complete the LGB(E) gang, it's imperative to our success)) things will be manageable.

Meanwhile, I put too much thought into the silver army or whatever miccy's is called and it was Still Absolute Ass! Slaysala carried along with skrimscram and mordy (and a shit tonne of olivi grass) the majority of the battle. that feathery slut only got hit, like, maybe 5 times? Powerful birdy, fucked up morally but also fucks severely on the battlefield so I'll forgive him and trust him bc he can't really betray us given how almost everyone else has been dwayned (rock) so they can't really buy his treachery. I also think he'd have perchance just enough self-preservation and sense to NOT side with the same ppl trying to kill everyone, thus nullifying the possibility of saving everybody, which includes Kilvans, which is actually quite understandable. It gives a bit of a sov rudolf vibe in that rudy knew that with his little green-haired secret prince with a brand that complicates his life without him realising it for like 17 years who was whisked away at birth/a very young age to live like a peasant voiced (in english) by kyle mccarley (gatekeeper must have one hell of a backstory) that along with his antithesis (anthieseses if you will) would unite zofia and rigel but in order to trigger that unity, he had to lean hard into being a bit fucked up and evil etc etc this isn't what that's about tho, I just am trying to justify why I think naenaesala isn't a completely iredeemable piece of garbage idk idk bottom line, rudolf had to suck but it was for the best of his people and naesala is a dick but does it with his people in mind and I think that's understandable. Doesn't justify or excuse his actions, but it sure gives important perspective to them. But anyway, everyone else in the silver army is lowkey dogshit ahaha I'm Fighting For My Life with these units, man. Snaki has been decent, (her lesbian mums do be pulling through as well) but she's also for some reason got the absolute worst luck with getting hit when enemy hit rate is <20% and either dying or coming damn near close. I know mages are squishy and aren't supposed to get hit but bro, she got hit by a 3% and fucking died when I was nearly through the map 😭

On the flipside, fortunately the gmercs and friends slay absolute penis, ike and soren alone can take like a dozen men at once (in a fight) and come out pretty much unscathed. sor's real good at dodging and having flare AND adept activate almost every second hit, so homeboy's keeping himself going easy peasy. And ike's just out here throwing his giant sword at bitches, also healing, but hella dealing (damage) ugh, power couple and neither get range locked so they can kill every last one of them which is quite nice. I'll send them into the fray and they have their cute little support *klboomph* bonus so they got that avo and other stuff idk I didn't look at it that hard.

I will say tho that the combining of the inventories was an absolute blessing holy shit man, I was fighting for my life between having next to no funds in any of the armies and running out of shit but having extra of what I need for one team on another and vice versa. truly a blessing that I can just hand stuff back and forth, only issue is i can't snag anything if it's with someone in another of the armies but I just keep units I'm not using on a map unarmed and empty-handed otherwise. Works out pretty well if I'm being perfectly candid, friend. Anyway, I'm gonna leave my absurdly long update at that otherwise this would be even longer and worse. Since I know babygirl shows up in ch3 with miccy and the gang, I apologise in advance for the impending thristposting. I'm holding myself back from being horny on main over several ppl but stefan, man, he just *chef's kiss* makes my brain go buckwild.

[jcbbby]

um hi I just realized ITS BEEN FOUR MONTHS SINCE I MET JAMIE???

F O U R. 121 DAYS. since I met THE Jamie bower.

omfg dani I first saw him when my sister forced me to watch Sweeney Todd as a kid. THEN TWILIGHT. then he randomly pops in on Harry Potter?? UGH I love him so much bro. THEN THERES COUNTERFEIT.

I've always wanted to meet him and the first thing I do is ask him what kinda gum he was chewing. I mean not really- the first thing I did was ramble about how nervous I was OMG THEN HE LITERALLY STOPPED ME MID RANT AND WENT "baby what's your name?" GIRL WHAT THE FUCK THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. and then he INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO ME?? "hi winnie, I'm Jamie." GIRL I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

okay I'm sorry I'm freaking out cause angel meeting Joe made me think about me meeting Jamie.

sorry dani I won't mention this again

by the way I met Jamie bower.

I don't think I mentioned.

by the way he remembered me on both days he was there.

okay I'm done.

holy shit I can't believe it's been that many days since you took the cherry photos of Jamie!!!!!! it does not seem that long ago wtf

if he calls me baby instead of darling or love (which I am mentally preparing myself for him to call me hopefully) I swear to god I will drop dead right there in front of him. like my brain will combust. I'll pass out. BABY? nope, that'll do me in for sure. idk how you're still breathing after Jamie Campbell Bower addressed you as baby.

I've mentioned before that I somehow managed to accidentally avoid him at every turn in life until ST4 (I guess I just never was into the incredibly mainstream things he was in while I was growing up lmao) BUT IN THE SHORT YEAR SINCE ST4 WAS RELEASED BELIEVE ME I HAVE MADE UP FOR IT AND THIS MAN NOW FULLY OWNS MY ASS.

AND YES OMG COUNTERFEIT. like I wish I could relive the day I listened to Together We Are Stronger for the first time. the chokehold that album had me in for MONTHS DUDE.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M GONNA MEET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN JUST 34 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna cry.

[crispy-chan]

omg dude, i remember literally crying over your work “a story rewritten” when i first read it about a year ago because isekai stories are top tier mygod 👌👌👌 and your story is literally the first and only fic i found that goes under that genre. so i definitely made up my mind to take the time to find that webtoon you were talking about in your note.

anyways, i legit just finished chapter one of this newly encountered manhwa i am reading and holy god, all the emotions are coming back all of the sudden. when the male lead here turned into a zombie, i just knew i found what ive been looking for for over a year (even if i forgot about it after giving up after a week of searching lol). o m g, i need to read “a story rewritten” again just to emote about it.

idk why in the world i rambled so much but if you still haven’t remembered yet interested in its title, it s called “surviving romance” in webtoon.

since this is already such a long ask, ill just say whatever is remaining in my mind. i often recall “a story rewritten” in the most random times, usually in class because i get sleepy so much. so every once in a while, id come back to read it again. nothing beats the first reading though. i remember being overwhelmed and so emotional LMAO.

it kinda became a comfort fic and legit the sole reason why i would come back to tumblr every now and then. took a break from reading fics in general since december to continue my manga/manhwa spree. but your work makes me feel nostalgic so much, UHM IDK WHY THOUGH,,,,

i just love it so much omg lol. you probably dont remember but i believe ive also told you this in the past (i made an ask, dont recall what i wrote though LOL) you dont have to look for it, i just want to let you know how much of an impact your writing gives to me.

as a closing ehem, you might not know me but it s a fact that your stories never fail to make me happy. another fun fact, you were actually the one who introduced me to fic reading in tumblr!! LOL your “astronaut, ksm” and its sequel “serendipitous” was what got me reading here in this platform. you were the first fic writer i came across here and thought that “oh, are there more writers like jas that makes stories this good?” thats why for a good year, i came to appreciate and enjoy a lot of writes and of course, a lot more stories here in tumblr.

once i fully come back to tumblr, i would definitely catch up with your stories that ive missed for the half year. good luck and keep safe! you re doing a great job :>>

Hello, Anon. yes, i capitalized anon bcs i am truly at a loss of words rn. what hurts the most is the fact that you won't my see my reply to this ask bcs I took so fucking long to open my inbox.

i am an a-grade asshole. now that this is out of the way...

firstly, the fact that you cried over my stories :((( this always simultaneously makes me sad and warms my heart bcs I want to make people feel something while reading my stories and my fave fics are the ones I cried over...

i'm always surprised af to see how much love "a story untold" gets. it's pretty short and rather old but it seems to be some sort of hidden favorite amongst my fics lol. I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much <3 I teased a sequel but never got around to it lmao.

haha i can't believe you actually found the webtoon!! my acc reset so I never actually returned to it lmao. also had to refresh my memory and google isekai bcs it's been a few years since my weeb phase lol. now that you mention it, there really aren't that many isekai-esque skz fics, are there 🧐

also, this is so sweet :((( i'm honored. it's really nice to hear that someone remembers the fic and even thinks about it, I'm genuinely flattered. I'm so happy that it managed to make such an impact on you <333

akjsksjasj truly honored to know that you like to come back to my fics. i also awwed when you said that my stuff makes you nostalgic :(( like that's literally such a massive compliment and it makes me really happy!!

i'm also touched to know that my fics managed to impact you so much <3 truly, reading this ask was such a pleasure :(

i also can't believe that i was the person who introduced you to tumblr. that's really cool akjsksjsk and I'm surprised to hear that it was astronaut. ngl, that was one of my first ever fic ideas and I was really proud of it back then. the only thing i'd change now is that i'd make it a lot longer, which is why I've wanted to write a prequel (but probably never will lol)...

i'm so glad that you enjoyed my stories and were able to discover many more amazing people on this platform!! thank you so much <33

i truly hope you come back some day since I selfishly wish you could see my response <3 on the off chance that you do, please accept my warmest hugs.

feel free to reach out any time <3 much love :)))

[arnold-layne]

i said it must not be fun to be an elf but yeah holy shit must be extra not fun to be a human in this world. you walk near a tree and the tree might or might not attack, depending on if there's elves around and how they feel that day. if you get too close to a forest they'll send birds to peck your fucking eyes out. i suppose they haven't invented guns yet but at this point it'd just be evening out the playing field. but now i'm wondering, are there people (on either side) who are pacifists or otherwise don't believe in the war? are there people who tried to establish peaceful contact at some point? in one of these truce situations maybe, since they won't get attacked there? is there a political climate or is it just like, folktales stuff where adults tell kids "ooh the evil humans/elves are super evil bad meanies don't go near them" and it breeds over generations without them examining it?

Well, it's not that bad! If you don't venture too far off the roads and into the wilderness you probably won't ever get attacked by an elf. Forests nearby big enough villages also tend to be safe, because if humans managed to last long enough to build the aforementioned village and populate it, either there weren't any elves in the first place or they were killed off. While elves resist getting driven away from their own lands they don't usually try to reconquer and repopulate it once they were driven out. It's desecrated for them, it's like building a new village on the corpses of the population of a previous one.

It's little and remote settlements where the fun starts :) people there would rather starve than venture beyond the safe strip of land, even if the last blade of grass has been picked there already. Actually, that grass can become knife-sharp if you anger an elf nearby. Animals that would usually run away will attack you. Insects will crawl up your ears and nostrils. Roots will pull out of the ground to wrap around your ankles. Branches will get in your face and poke your eyes out. Bushes will grow out finger-long thorns in minutes and readily pierce you with them. Even the ground will shift creating holes where there weren't any and making you break your leg. And then you're gonna die a slow, excruciating death, and not once get a glimpse of your murderer. Then your corpse will be magically spit out by the earth somewhere near the village so that someone will definitely find it. There will be a couple warnings like these before people will start disappearing from their homes, and if they don't get moving even then, well, then these homes will be overgrown with poisonous ivy, rats will eat all the winter supplies, mushrooms will sprout in basements and wells and spread spores... Well, you get the picture. So either villagers decide to get the fuck out if there, or they gather forces and burn the fucking forest to the ground. I think you understand why humans don't like elves.

But I don't really want one side to be the victim and the other the monster. So don't you think that humans treat elves any better than elves treat humans, oh no. But the methods here are more familiar to us. They usually burn them alive because they believe fire is the best method to purge the evil from them, but other methods of killing are also popular. Imprisoning elves doesn't really work because once they're put in magic-stopping metal they die on their own within a couple of days, even if they're not injured and get water and food.

The forces are usually even, because humans not only come in big numbers but also with loads of weapons, and elves don't really use weapons, they don't even know how to work with metals. So once they are revealed and trapped in one place they can't really do anything anymore.

There are, of course, people (and elves) who think all this violence is unnecessary. There are always dissidents in every society, this one is not an exception. But finding a like-minded soul in an enemy camp and communicating correctly to them is extremely difficult. It happens, though. Elves can control nature, but to a reasonable amount. They can't, for example, make a tree grow fruit in winter, or make an animal disease disappear, or make it rain during a drought. And they also need to eat. Usually these truces grow out of sheer despair, because it's better that you live along with your enemy than you both die. They might even have something resembling trade: elves manipulate nature to provide bigger harvests, for example, or draw more animals to settlements for people to hunt, and get crafted items in return. Another example may be that villagers direct travelers to elvish areas, elves then kill them, and they divide the loot. But again, this is more of an exception than a rule.

There is no political climate, not really. As you said, more folk tale stuff. As humans tend to live in big communities due to the smaller ones prone to elvish attacks, they almost never get to see an elf or witness the effects of their magic. Same with elves, although they are a bit more well-acquainted with humans, but it's still like seeing a bear break into your house. You know who they are you've seen pictures you got warned by your family multiple times about them. But when you see them the first time it's still a shock. You're gonna shoot it and talk about it for the rest of your life. Remember that both sides know little to nothing about each other as they don't communicate and leave no records behind that the other side can study. And lack of knowledge always leads to demonisation.

[chocolatecakecas]

To Infinity and Beyond: baby!Jack truthing Birthday Ficlet

Today already looked like the perfect day. Warm weather, the sun shining, the birds singing, all the usual qualifications for "perfection". And if Dean had anything to say about it, it is also going to be, the perfect day.

Because Dean had planned out everything. Tents and tables spread out in the backyard of their new house, enough hamburgers and hotdogs to feed an army, a giant sheet cake in the freezer, and it looked like a Party City catalogue threw up all over their house, both inside and out. Hell, he and Cas even got a bounce house.

Yup, today was going to be perfect, Dean thought as he surveyed the backyard. He was going to make sure of it, nothing was going to go wro-

"To infinity and beyond!"

And the next thing he knew, he had a recently turned four year old, barreling into his legs almost knocking him off the porch.

(read the rest under the cut)

He looked down to see Jack already dressed in his outfit for the day. A shirt with Buzz Lightyear's costume printed on it, complete with little cardboard Buzz wings (Cas made them), purple shorts with a purple tutu, and of course, his favorite Buzz light-up sneakers.

"I'd say that was a bit of a crash landing there, Mr.Lightyear" Dean laughed, as he bent down to right Jack's scribbled cardboard wings. Jack just ignored his reference, instead letting out an excited shriek as he took in the backyard.

Every tablecloth, plate, napkin, cup, balloon, and cardboard decoration was covered in Toy Story characters.

Toy Story, was the end all be all in their house, because they were Jack's favorite movies. So everything, was 100% Toy Story, 100% of the time, hence the party theme. And his favorite character was Buzz Lightyear, hence the costume.

"Dee where's your costume?" Jack questioned, after he finally recovered from the shock of seeing the, probably, overdecorated backyard.

"Yeah Sheriff Woody, where's your costume? It's almost one thirty" Cas called as he stepped out the backdoor. Cas was already dressed in t-shirt with Jessie's outfit printed on the front, her matching red hat, jeans and of course, cowboy boots which Dea-wait shit they only had a half an hour left.

And he hadn't even double checked th-

"The backyard and inside of the house already look incredible. Go on and get ready before everyone starts arriving" Cas smiled sweetly, knowing how worried Dean was about today.

"I will, after I chec-"

"Dean, I promise, I'll double check all the decorations, and the food. Me and the little space ranger have got it covered, right baby?" Cas supplied, looking fondly over at Jack.

"Yeah me and Da got it! Get dressed Dee" Jack cheered, as hopped down the steps and raced "flew" across the grass cardboard wings flapping behind him.

"Go get changed, cowboy. Everything already looks perfect" Cas teased, pressing a quick peck to Dean's lips. And then he was bounding down the steps towards Jack, warning him not to go near the bounce house.

So Dean reluctantly walked inside, forcing himself to ignore all of the things he wanted to check on, and instead making a beeline for their bedroom. He quickly pulled on his costume, but unlike Jack and Cas it was the real deal, not just a graphic t-shirt, Dean had the actual shirt, the vest, whole nine yards. Jack had asked if Dean would wear a real Woody costume and, hey who was he to deny his kid on his birthday?

So with a sigh, Dean made his way back to the living room so he could reorganize the snack table.

He wanted everything to be perfect today. Perfect for Jack because, this was his first real birthday party after all. And because Dean's oldest memory was of his fourth birthday, his last birthday party actually since it wasn't like they were throwing big family bashes on the road. No, birthdays were a box of cigarettes from his Dad (if he even remembered), or Dean sometimes scraping together enough money to get a cake for Sam's birthday.

Which is why today had to go smoothly. Because Jack deserved the world, he deserved to have a good life filled with memories of big family parties with fun decorations and food and laughter. And Dean could give it to him now, give him what he and Sam never had. So today had to be special, it had-needed to be perfect.

"Dean, I don't think Jack is going to care if the clouds are a little crooked" Cas pointed out, amusement dancing in his voice as he walked into the living room.

Dean huffed a laugh, but didn't stop his mission to straighten out the paper "Andy's Room" clouds taped to the wall above the table. Cas just sighed as he gently pulled his hand away from the wall, turning Dean towards him.

"Dean I know how much you want to make this day absolutely perfect for Jack, believe me I do too. But he's going to love every single second of it. He's practically bouncing off the walls already, and the party hasn't even started yet" Cas assured as he squeezed Dean's hands.

"I know, I know. But he deserves to have the best damn birthday. Especially after everything and he's just- Jack shoul-" Dean started, only to be cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

"It's Uncle Sammy and Aunt Eileen! Can I open the door, please?" Jack called from down the hall, asking for permission.

"Yeah buddy, you're allowed to open the door. Let them in" Dean shouted back, unable to help the smile pulling at his lips when he heard Jack enthusiastically telling them about "all the cool decorations".

"See? Jack is already loving it! Now relax, and enjoy the party, cowboy. Everything is going to be perfect" Cas smiled as he made his way down the hall to greet Sam and Eileen. But not before giving Dean's ass a little smack.

A few hours into the party everything was smooth sailing, and Dean had only been scolded for readjusting some decorations four times. The kids Jack invited from his class were having a great time, as where their parents, which was especially great because not a single one of them managed to see a member of Dean and Cas’ family discreetly place their weapons in the spare bedroom (Dean wasn’t a fool, it was a party full of hunters, he wasn’t just gonna make a no weapons rule because what if something happened?). So then Dean and Eileen manned the grill like champs, Cas and Garth kept an eye on the kiddos in the bounce house, Sam had handled the Buzz Lightyear shaped piñata perfectly, while Dean organized the kids, making sure Jack was the one to break it. The sun stayed shining, the birds kept singing. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn't.

And it was all Dean’s fault.

Dean's stomach dropped as he stared down at the now smudged faces of Woody, Buzz and half of the green aliens. Because Dean just smooshed the entire left side of the cake while trying to take lid off.

He just destroyed the most important part of the party, the part Jack was most excited about. Now Dean just ruined everythi-

"-come in star command, do you read me?" Cas joked, completely startling Dean, because how long had Cas been standing there?

"Dean, what's wro-oh" Cas sighed as soon as he caught sight of the cake. 

"I friggin smooshed the whole thing with the lid. It's destroyed we can't-the party and Jack and-" Dean rambled, heart pounding against his chest, while Cas took the life from his hands and gently set it on the other side of the counter.

"Dean, stop it's okay breathe for me. It's just the cake. It's not your fault. It's still edible, we can fix this" Cas soothed as softly cupped Dean's cheeks in an attempt to ground him.

"Hey are you guys alri-oh shit" Eileen gasped as she and Sam walked through the kitchen door, which caused Dean’s heart rate to pick up again.

"It's okay, it'll be fine. We can try to scrape some of it back together with a knife" Sam offered, quickly moving Dean and Cas to the side so he could get at the cake.

But it only made the faces look completely unrecognizable.

"Damnit, what are we gonna-"

"Dee! Can we have cake now?" Jack asked as he came racing into the kitchen, and Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen quickly huddled in front of the counter to hide the cake from sight.

"In a few minutes squish, we're still uh-getting it ready" Dean managed plastering a wide, hopefully convincing smile on his face.

"Why don't you go jump around the bounce house again, buddy?" Sam suggested, which had Jack nearly bolting out of the kitchen again with a nod

"Make sure one of your aunts or uncles, or your friends' parents are watching you!" Cas called after him, which only got a tiny "okay Da" in response.

They all let out a breath when they heard the backdoor slam, and quickly turned to look at the offending cake again.

"It's not that late, what if one of us runs to store and see if they have ano-"

"They won't, we ordered this specia-"

"And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere" Claire joked as she entered the kitchen and quickly surveyed the mess before her, eyes widening when she spotted the cake. And Dean normally would have teased her the reference but he was too busy, freaking the fuck out, so he chose to ignore it.

"What do we do? We can't fix this, there's no time it's completely rui-"

"Wait, dude calm down. I have an idea, hold on a minute" Claire proclaimed, and swiftly exited the kitchen, which did pretty much nothing to calm Dean's panic. In fact he was getting desperate.

"Do you think Rowena might have a spell-"

"That's not how magic works. But honestly Dean, I'm sure Jack won't even notice-"

"The kid can recite the entirety of Toy Story 2 from memory and you don't think he's gonna notice Woody is missing his entire head?"

"Alright, start grabbing the Toy Story figures and wash them off. Then we can put them all over the cake instead, and cover up the horrifyingly smeared faces" Claire ordered as she came back into the kitchen with Kaia in tow, and box of Jack's toys in hand.

And Dean could have cried from relief (he did).

"Holy shit Claire you're a genius" Dean praised, as he quickly began sifting through the box.

"I know, I know. Now c'mon, I want cake"

And a few minutes later everyone was gathered around the dining room table, singing a completely off key rendition of Happy Birthday. Jack was seated in the center of it all, with a half smooshed, slightly lopsided, plastic figure covered cake, with Dean and Cas crouching on either side of him. Jack hadn't even commented on the completely smeared face of Woody or Ham, he was just clapping along, bouncing in his seat. In fact, he the biggest smile Dean had ever seen on his face, and he teared up at the sight.

"Blow out the candles and make a wish, baby" Cas encouraged, and Jack attempted to do just that. Only succeeding when Dean secretly helped blow out the candles for him.

"Yay! To infinity and beyond!" Jack shouted again, as he stood up and jumped on his chair. The room easily erupted into laughter, while Charlie and Jody each snapped pictures from across the table.

"Alright Lightyear, let's not fall with style into the already smooshed cake" Dean joked, as he quickly stabilized Jack, which only caused everyone to burst into more laughter.

So, Dean scooped up Jack, sitting in his chair and placing him on his lap, while Sam offered to cut up the cake. And Cas took plopped down in the chair next to them, sliding him and Jack a plate.

"Are you having fun at your birthday party, baby?" Cas questioned as he handed Jack a plastic fork.

"Yeah! Claire jumped in the house with me! And Danny and Sarah and me played in the sandbox! An-and we played tag, and Aunt Donna played too! And the cake has all my friends on it, see!" Jack rushed out all in one breath, stopping to point at the now sliced cake. By "friends" he of course meant his actual Toy Story figures of course. But before Dean could even react to any of that, Cas was whispering in Jack's ear, and pulling away.

"Thank you for all the party things, Dee!" Jack beamed as he turned and threw his arms around Dean's neck.

And Dean's heart clenched as he tightly wrapped his arms around his kid, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. He looked back up to see Cas smiling widely at them, so Dean whispered something in Jack's ear too. And then Jack was off flinging himself around Cas' neck.

"Why doesn't all the family get together, I can take the photos" Marissa, the mom of one of Jack's friends offered.

And soon the three of them were surrounded by their family on all sides. Everyone laughing when Marissa suggested they all say "yeehaw" instead of cheese. Jack giggling when Claire zoomed over, and bent down so she could smoosh their faces together for the obligatory "silly face" picture. Dean quickly swiping icing on both Cas and Jack's noses, causing Cas to tip Dean's cowboy hat and Jack to shove a handful of frosting on Dean's cheek.

So maybe it wasn't the flawless, smooth sailing birthday party Dean had planned. But the weather stayed warm, the sun still shone, the birds still sang. His family laughed, and ate and had a blast.

And Jack looked about as happy as they had ever seen him, as he ran around the yard with his friends and played games with his family. Dean would even go as far to count it as a complete success. Especially since Jack asked Cas, "when can we have a big party again?", as they tucked him into bed later that night.

So as far as Dean is concerned, it was the perfect day.

Tag list:

(please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!!💛)

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149

@shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26 @multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x @wellofwoes @becky-srs @multi-fandom-dark-lord @perfectkoaladream @castiel-for-lunch @it--hurts--to--become @bowtiesandneckerchiefs

@dakiaty @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @hrh-princess-bea @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @ethicalbitch @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @milfcodeddean @seraphcastiel @seraphlm

[confusions-shed-of-ideas]

Therion’s Chapter 1, Badly Summarised

(In which Therion unsuccessfully tries to rob a house and gets a cool friendship bracelet out of it)

Therion: Hi my name is Therion and I have no friends

Therion: I mean I did have a friend once

Therion: His name was Darius

Therion: And he turned out to be an asshole so he's not my friend anymore

Therion: It's all fine though. I don't need friends, they disappoint me

Therion: But yeah I'm a thief and I steal things, as thieves do

Therion: I'm so good at stealing stuff that all the rich fear me

Therion: Anyways where's the nearest tavern

*At a tavern*

Therion: Hello I'll have the usual

Barkeep: Okay here you go

Thief 1: Hey did you hear about that thief who stole a bunch of stuff the other day

Thief 2: Yeah I did

Thief 1: I still can't believe he managed to get past those guards at that big fancy manor

Therion: Wow I wonder who they're talking about. It totally wasn't me who did that

Therion: Those guards were bad at their jobs anyways lmao

Thief 2: Lmao forget about 'im one day we're gonna be super cool awesome famous thieves like that guy

Thief 1: Hell yeah partner

Therion: Oh wow imagine having friends couldn't be me

*Flashback*

Ten years ago

Guard: Get in the prison cell

Young Therion: Okay but are you going to ask politely

Guard: Shut up

Young Therion: No u

Guard: *Knocks him over* Okay now get in

Young Therion: Fine damn what a temper

Young Darius: Yeah lol what a warm welcome

Young Therion: Warm welcome my ass

Young Therion: Anyways who are you

Young Darius: Doesn't matter, anyways I'm gonna try get us out with this pin I found

Young Therion: Lmao okay but do you want to try this instead

Young Darius: Wh- Holy shit that's the key. How the hell did you get the key

Young Therion: Thievery ofc how else do you think I got it

Young Darius: Aight let's get the hell outta here

Young Darius: My name's Darius btw let's be friends

Young Therion: Okay

*Present day*

Therion: Wow what a nice day to remember the past memories of actually having friends back in the day

Therion: Hey barkeep can I have another cup of this good shit

Barkeep: Sure thing

Barkeep: Btw are you after House Ravus' treasure because if you are I'd think again if I were you

Barkeep: That treasure's literally impossible to steal

Therion: Okay bet

Barkeep: No like they aren't nice to those who try to steal their stuff so I actually suggest you stay away

Therion: Fiiiiiiiiiine

---

Therion: I'm gonna go try break into the Ravus manor

Therion: Let's get to the higher mountains where the manor is first

*A session of walking stairs later*

Therion: Fuck you House Ravus why are y'all at the top of so many goddamn stairs

Therion: Anyways where was I

Therion: Lmao look at these guards I'm def gonna make it past all of them

Therion: Oh damn they have guard dogs too and wires on the walls

Guards: Hey you the Ravuses said visitors weren't allowed

Merchant: But I'm just a merchant looking to sell some stuff surely you'll let me in right

Guards: Okay then prove it

Merchant: Wait what what do I have to prove

Guards: No proof, get out

Merchant: Aw fine

Therion: Ooh so all I need to do is get some proof

Therion: That's doable

---

Merchant: Man I got turned away

Other Merchant: Same

Other Merchant: It's because of their treasure probably

Merchant: I'm not even after the goddman treasure I just wanted to sell stuf :((

Other Merchant: They say you need a letter of introduction as proof

Merchant: Aw man I don't have one

Merchant: Are you sure there's no other way?

Therion: Oh I know another way

Therion: I'll just go steal from someone with the letter

Therion: Hell yeah efficiency

---

Therion: Hm

Therion: Hey so how long to you plan to keep following me

Thieves: Damn he found us

Thieves: Hey so we heard you were after the Ravuses' treasure so we were wondering if you wanted to-

Therion: No

Thieves: But

Therion: I said that I don't need friends, they disappoint me. Now goodbye

Thieves: So you think you're better than us huh

Thief 1: Fight me

Therion: Okay bet *Punches him*

Thief 1: Ow

Thief 2: You okay mate??

Therion: Ah what a nice other moment to remind me that I have no friends

Therion: Anyways goodbye I have shit to steal

---

Wealthy Merchant: Look y'all I got a letter from House Ravus

Other Merchants: Omg a letter from House Ravus

Therion: Omg a letter from House Ravus

*One "steal" path action later*

Therion: Thanks for that buddy

Therion: Aight time to do some stealing

---

Therion: Hello guards I'm totally a merchant and I'm here to sell cool sh- I mean stuff now can you please let me in

Guards: A wealthy merchant? In these clothes?

Therion: Hey who are you to judge my attire I like these clothes thank you very much

Therion: Anyways I have a letter can you let me in now

Guards: Oh damn a letter

Therion: I can leave but I'll be sure to tell Lady Ravus about this insult to my honour-

Guards: Wait no sure you can come in

Therion: Omg tysm

---

Therion: Damn this place be full of fancy shit

Therion: Oh so this is the treasure

Therion: It just looks like a normal gemstone, not as amazing as everyone makes it seem

Heathcote: That's what you think, this gemstone is worth quite a lot

Therion: Wha- Who the hell are you?

Heathcote: I should be asking you

Heathcote: Anyways congrats on being the first thief to make it here

Therion: It's as if you wanted this to happen

Heathcote: Yeah exactly

Therion: WHAT

Heathcote: We tightened security and asked even the barkeep to spread rumours, hoping to get thieves to come here. But sadly y'all thieves were very disappointing

Heathcote: Except for you

Therion: Damn, call me a board game since y'all wanna play me 😔

Therion: Okay so what

Heathcote: My name is Heathcote, and I am a butler here

Therion: That's cool and all but I have to go now okay bye

Heathcote: No

Heathcote: Fight me

Therion: Okay fiiiine

*It's boss battle o' clock y'all*

Therion: Ha I won

Heathcote: Are you sure about that

Therion: What

Therion: What is this ugly ass friendship bracelet you snapped on me

Therion: Oh

Therion: It's the fool's bangle

Heathcote: Indeed

Heathcote: I put this on you when you weren't looking

Therion: Okay take it off

Heathcote: No

Therion: Now

Heathcote: No

Therion: Come on

Heathcote: No

Therion: Do it

Heathcote: No

Therion: Take it off

Heathcote: No

Therion: I will snap you like a twig

Heathcote: No

Therion: Just take it off

Heathcote: No

Therion: ... Please?

Heathcote: No

Therion: Fight me again

Therion: I'm ready, are you?

Heathcote: There will be no more fighting each other

Heathcote: Anyways, now we negotiate

Therion: What

Cordelia: Hello I am Cordelia Ravus and I am the lady if the house

Therion: Fuck

Cordelia: You are to help me steal these dragonstones, which are like the other one over there

Cordelia: They are a family treasure, but they were all stolen

Cordelia: This one is here only because Heathcote helped out

Heathcote: Mhm

Therion: Okay nice of you to think that I care

Cordelia: So are you helping or not

Therion: No

Heathcote: Remember, the fool's bangle...

Therion: ...

Heathcote: We'll take it off if you do it

Therion: Fuck you and your stupid ugly friendship bracelet

Therion: Alright I'll do it

Cordelia and Heathcote: Yay!

---

Therion: I can't believe you were a part of this

Barkeep: Lol I told you not to go

Therion: I'm gonna need two drinks to wash this down

*Later*

Cordelia: Okay now be safe

Heathcote: You have to go to Noblecourt to find this dragonstone

Therion: Alright

Therion: Leave the thieving to me I got this

Therion: Just remove the band afterwards and it'll all be fine

Heathcote: Alright then

Cordelia: Safe journeys!

Therion: I'll try my best to come back in one piece

Therion: Man I'm going to need a long trip to the tavern once this is all done

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

---

Ayy finished this one just in time for bedtime

Ah the thief, my favourite job class after the apothecary

Honestly Therion is such a mood sometimes

Referring to the fool's bangle as the reluctant friendship bracelet is pretty entertaining

Anyways, H'aanit is next!

... Oh gods I have to attempt her Elizabethan English shtick for it