#honestly i would really appreciate any nice communication like that. even if its just an ask sending well wishes. just to remind me tht

[wooahaes]

regarding december fics [& life update]

hi. i really don't want to get into anything long n drawn out right now, so i'll just... keep it short.

december fics are unofficially on pause due to having a family member enter hospice tomorrow. i've been trying to avoid doing anything because i've managed to push and schedule at least one fic per day, but since getting this news hours ago, i've been... not that great?

if nothing else, i WILL write and schedule fics for christmas and new years for sure. those are holiday specific and writing is therapeutic to me when i'm able to sit down and put thought into it--i won't be pushing myself to write two quick fics when they're time specific like that. i'll go ahead and spoil and say they're for wonwoo and hosh respectively because why not.

for everything else... i'm still gonna call them december fics even though they're most likely going to end up being posted in january. tomorrow (12/14) won't have a fic posted for sure, everything else i'll play by ear and figure out. the "unofficial" part of the pause is just a way of me saying "if i post, then i post, but if i don't, then i'm dealing with offline things"

sorry to make a post like this. its kind of a huge downer and i genuinely kept holding off on the hope that things would get better. i'll still be here and writing in my spare time when i have something i can focus on, but i need to be with my grandmother as much as i can before i lose her.

happy holidays. sending all my love to those who want and need it during this time of year <3 and on the off chance i don't post between now and then, i hope 2024 treats us all kinder <3

[nian-7]

Hallo :>>> can I request for pjsk boys x gn!reader headcannons when character x reader met in college. If you dont mind, please add whether their respective group/s disbanded or not :') that's all for me and ty in advance <333

hello! sure, please enjoy!!

Tsukasa, Rui, Akito, Toya x gn!reader

✧meeting in college

✧fluff

-Wonderlands x Showtime has become more of a side thing for them. Emu does it the most often though, followed by Tsukasa.

-Tsukasa probably went to college for something in the drama or theatrical department. An actor of sorts, whether it be a stage actor, movie actor, or a voice actor.

-He likely met you through a group project where he needed a partner and you just happened to be sitting next to him that day so why not ask to be partners? No harm in it!

-He'd get along with you fairly easily. As long as you don't push him away, he'll be your friend even without ever verbally asking to be friends.

-Probably asks if you need help and vise versa. You're his friend now and he'd like for you to be able to get through college and pursue your dream as well!

-Again, Wonderlands x Showtime has become more of a side thing for its members. Rui is the least active in it because of college work but, he does occasionally show up for shows.

-He probably had gone to college for some sort of engineering degree. It probably wasn't unlikely that he met you in a class that you struggled in and asked him for help.

-Rui helped you but it wasn't much after that. You both would chat occasionally when you found yourselves sitting next to each other in class or in the halls.

-Probably would accept your offers to come by your dorm or house to work on an assignment together. As long as he has nothing going on, he really doesn't mind.

-Honestly, he likely has invited you to come to Phoenix Wonderland and help work backstage on the automations like Robo-Nene. It was honestly quite a shock to the other Wonderlands x Showtime members when they see Rui there along with a new friend.

-Vivid Bad Squad has probably gone on some sort of hiatus. Both Vivids and Bad Dogs operate still just at a lesser rate. They can't find the time to all get together with their busier schedules.

-Akito likely went to community college. Whether it be because he wasn't sure what he wanted to go to college for or if he just wanted to continue Rad Weekend.

-He honestly probably met you through Rad Weekend. Having you randomly come up to him after Toya and him got off stage and telling him he did a good job! Somehow the conversation spiraled from there into him getting your number by the end of it.

-After that, he'd always text you when he'd be performing at Rad Weekend and you'd always show up. He appreciated it even though it wasn't often that he got to see you.

-With the two of you being in college, study sessions aren't uncommon. He'd randomly bring it up one day and it'd start becoming a near weekly thing for the two of you.

-Again, Vivid Bad Squad would be on a hiatus while Bad Dogs and Vivids operated independently. Toya is a bit bummed about it but, he still is able to go up occasionally.

-Toya likely went to a college on his fathers accord. He likely came to a sort of compromise (if it was even possible) with him about where he'd like to study.

-Most likely, he met you on a walk one day when he was going out for lunch. Whether you were an employee or just another customer, it was a simple and nice chat.

-You both would see each other at the same place every week, whether it be on purpose or not, he's still baffled by how he had gotten your number in such a short amount of time.

-He likes to text you about random things and will always respond to anything you send him. Sometimes you feel like he's waiting for you to text him with how fast he'll respond, even when he's in class sometimes...

please do not repost any of my work without my permission, thank you for reading.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Now that we've listened to the cadence of rappers through the interplay between the flow and beats it is time to listen to what rappers are saying. Rap has its own language made up of metaphors and references that can intimidate new listeners, but there is one skill that should be easy for anyone to appreciate. Storytelling. These songs are some of the best storytelling that hip-hop has to offer. And Storytelling is one of rap's strong suits so really this is some of the best storytelling that music has to offer!

The Art Of Peer Pressure Kendrick is why were here right? Well he is probably the best lyricist in rap history. The Art Of Peer Pressure may not be his biggest hit but it is unparalleled in terms of storytelling. Kendrick describes a night as a teen in Compton. Him and his friends emulating the violence heard on their favorite rap albums. The story seems simple, but the message is complex. He disavows every action he engages in saying that he's normally sober, normally peaceful, but he's with the homies right now. As the title suggests its a story about how peer pressure helps reproduce systems of violence.

Children's Story Slick Rick is the storyteller of all time. It honestly baffles me how naturally he communicates this simple fable without missing a beat. It flows so casually that you actually forget that he's maintaining rhyme throughout.

Gold Simple fables about street violence are extremely common in hip-hop. This one builds bravado and avarice until the tragic ending where the singer buries his mother before he can use all the money he's attained on her.

I Left My Wallet In El Segundo And now for the lowest stakes in any rap story. This is the gripping story of Q-Tip trying to remember where he left his wallet. The energy of a couple of friends trying to retrace their steps is actually really relatable though.

It Was A Good Day I've seen people on here try to use the details of this song's lyrics to pinpoint the exact date Cube was talking about. It's a simple song, but the simplicity belies some depth. It's pretty telling that to Ice Cube playing basketball and dominoes with his friends is on the same level as not getting harassed by the police or shot.

Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa De La Soul decided to ditch the fun and games on Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa. seriously content warning for frank discussion of csa. The tense story of a girl who is brought to the point of desperation because no one will believe that she is being abused. Its dark stuff and extremely well told.

Neighbors J. Cole dodged a bullet when he decided not to actually beef with Kendrick. Which is good cause I actually like Cole's music. Neighbors is about J. Cole tried to move into a nice house in a white neighborhood and got harassed until he was forced to leave. He meditates on the fact that fame can't actually stop the baked in racism at the heart of America.

Hey Mama If you want to know why fans are mourning Kanye or even hoping for him to get better instead of just dropping him like a rock look no further than Hey Mama. This ode to his mother is the sweetest song ever made. I'm kinda glad Donda West didn't have to see what her son turned into.

Just A Friend Biz Markie is the clown prince of hip-hop. his flow is goofy, the beat is kinda wonky, and the story is simple. And then he just kinda yells the hook like he's half drunk. It is either gonna charm you right away or annoy you. Just A Friend is the kind of stupid that I always fall in love with and it's enduring popularity is proof that others feel the same.

Fat Cats, Bigga Fish The Coup are the group that would eventually make the film Sorry To Bother You. Fat Cats, Bigga Fish is a deftly told story whose moral is "stealing is only illegal if you aren't rich"

To Be Continued ===> Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[helpallthenamesaretakensblog]

EPISODE 5……..🥺

Right off the bat, i love the idea of percy’s forehead peeking out of the water, like the mysterious mermaid he is

Annabeth was the best part of the episode as always

Thought they were gonna talk more about thalia percy parallels grover just looked a lil tad distressed and that was it but whatever

Percy and his lil ‘hi’s will never stop being funny

the usual “i thought annabeth was gonna punch me but she was actually nice to me guys who would’ve thought someone would be happy to see me” narrative still shining through WITH THE HUG PLS CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SWEET THE HUG WAS

grover’s so confused like “literally an hour ago you guys hated each other….am i missing out on some plot point”

dude was ‘looking for new tickets in the st. Louis arch as if they were going to be on the floor lying somewhere💀

Percy’s face when he addresses grover after the hug, he’s so proud someone actually hugged him 🥹his face is just like “hey grover look SHE’S HUGGING ME🥺”

Can I just say the writing for percy is perfect

like he’s so 50% there like he’s so good at communicating and asking what’s wrong and trying to understand the other person’s feelings (sally jackson’s son for you) but at the same time he has NEVER had a friend before so he ends up embarrassing himself 😂😭

”im pretty sure that’s what friends do” “….at least i think that’s what they do” pls 😭

grover’s face too help you’re already tired of being third wheel???oh honey this is THE FIRST HALF OF THE FIRST BOOK get comfortable

not their lil heads popping out and going back in. Peak comedy right there

Seriously adam did reallyyyyyy good as ares. Theres no one else i can imagine anymore as ares. The delicateness of his ‘good mood’ as if it is gonna break any second, the rage and fury but at the same time being extremely funny???

the diner looks so cosy it’s so cute

was kinda missing some percy rage in this but it comes out at the last so its fine

The real reason for grover to be so okay staying back is not the strategy of getting answers out of ares but because of how tired he was of taking care of annabeth and percy.

I feel like they should be showing luke more (later on they will, i have faith) im already forgetting about him it wont hit as hard if i dont remember him

Percy “ive not seen many movies since im broke” jackson x annabeth “ive never seen a movie since i live in a magical camp” chase

but the fact that annabeth’s never seen a movie kinda erases the fact that later on in hoo, annabeth talks about watching cheesy old romance movies with her father which kinda contributes to their dynamic but

the fact that percy would probably be the first one to take her to the movies makes me not care

honestly tho IM REALLY REALLY HOPING THAT THEIR FIRST MOVIE WONT BE THE ONE AT THE START OF BOTL I’d rage as much as annabeth when i see percy with rachel (not that im a rachel hater, im a circumstances hater)

grover is such a good therapist, like he is THE EMPATH. He tripped the god of war into talking about his life this is a grover appreciation post

annabeth zoning out with fascination at the mechanics and also i love the “percy being done with annabeth” representation

i cant see anything so nothing to say here

SEAWEED BRAIN THIS IS A HISTORICAL MOMENT IN PJOTV HISTORY THE FIRST SEAWEED-

grover manipulating ares through his emotions>>>>>

also ares roasting athena

Percy sacrificing himself AGAIN like the depressed kid he is

annabeth immediately reassuring percy that she would save his mom the character developmentttttttt from being inconsiderate about percy losing his mom to promising that she would save the lady EVEN THOUGH SHE BARELY KNEW HER

This is giving me too many feelings guys the lady she’s promising to save is the lady who will be the best mother figure who will singlehandedly heal her mommy issues AND BECOME HER MOTHER IN LAW

“Its warm” i thought this was gonna be the last thing he says before whatever was gonna happen to him so i was like lol famous last words

but fr tho the intenseness of annabeth crying for percy to GET UP and percy’s just fading out of the world trying not to cry trying to reassure annabeth that he’s okay IN WHAT WOULD BE HIS LAST FEW WORDS, literally everything he does is for someone else even in his dying moments its just magelhi”gdsjihoawerhoudfjls

especially with the “im not…..” [okay] lol we have always known that percy, it aint a big surprise

i got to applaud leah for how she portrayed annabeth’s brain chemistry altering every minute with percy and how that influenced her speech with hephaestus

i cant believe thats leo’s dad hes giving santa claus i do like him tho

Now that i think about it the percabeth hug should have been after percy comes back to life not after the louis arch scene since they were just starting to have two minutes of chemistry there and have the “you dont have to feel bad about the hug” in the zebra truck scene

percy trying to intimidate ares lolllll walker scobell did his best to make it look real tho so good for him for not representing it as it was; a lil 12 year old child threatening a wrestler looking god of war

”Thanks for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers” will forever be in the cinema hall of fame

i feel like grover either is going to say the wrong person or he’s going to figure out it’s luke but something’s going to stop him from saying it out loud

or he’ll say it which causes some angst amongst the team who dont trust him cuz both annabeth and percy worship luke like there’s no tomorrow

RAINBOW?? OHH THEYRE GONNA IRIS MESSAGE LUKE??

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

[jujusjunk]

hey i’m a diaspora jew with a bunch of family in israel. i’m a zionist in the sense that israel is the jewish homeland, but that doesn’t mean it’s only our homeland. i hate likud and i don’t agree with the scale and duration of israel’s response to oct 7th. i’ve been really freaked out by a lot of the stuff i’ve seen on social media about i/p and people’s response to it all. i just want to say that i really appreciate your willingness to talk to people with differing views and how you value peace building and a better future over continued suffering. i went through your blog, and while i don’t think we agree on some details, a lot of our larger beliefs are the same. it’s proof that we don’t all have to think the same to want the same thing in the end! i’m glad people care and are trying to get more attention on a really long conflict that probably wouldn’t get much global attention otherwise, but it’s been so frustrating seeing how people who don’t have a personal connection have been treating everything like a game, not bothering to learn much, and wanting not to end violence but to make other people suffer more in return. i’ve had the same problem with some of the more conservative folks i interact with in jewish spaces, and it’s been annoying being told by people who basically don’t know shit that i’m supposed to cut them out rather than try and talk and understand why they feel the way they do/get them to see that there are better alternatives. why do these random westerners think they know better than those of us actually affected about what our people think? anyway sorry for rambling, i just want you to know that what you’re doing is awesome and that it makes me so hopeful that the future will suck less knowing that people like you are having conversations not just with their own communities but with the world about where we go from here. i think that bc of people like you, we might actually make peace someday.

Hi my loveee, it’s so nice to meet you. I know that we won’t agree on everything and that’s pretty normal. We’re not expected to agree on everything considering the way we were raised, the religions and ideologies we were taught and honestly the propaganda we were shown. The both of us have lived diffrent lives and we can’t be expected to agree on everything. But what I think important is that even with our disagreements, respect still stands. I might not agree with you but that doesn’t invalidate your points nor does it mean I view myself as more of a human that I view you.

Everyone is equal that’s what I’m trying to get at, it doesn’t matter your ethnicity, religion, race, ideology, anything. If you respect me I will extend that respect to you, if you don’t I won’t that’s how I work.

Inshallah we will reach a point where we can all live happily and peacefully in this land because honestly it’s beautiful, one of the most beautiful in the world. I would love to share it and create memories with all kinds of people, Jews, Muslims, Christians, atheists everyone.

We don’t have to think the same to live peacefully.

In Islam we have this quote (I know we’re not talking about it but I love it and I’d like to share it)

"لكم ‏دينكم وليا دين"

It means “you have your religion and I have mine”. I extend respect towards everyone no matter your religion and I think a peaceful solution can be found between the 2 groups without the interference of the outsider, whether that be America’s government or its people.

Conservatives on both sides need to calm down let’s be honest here, extremists on both sides need to calm down. We’re gonna get nowhere if all we do is bomb each other. We’re gonna ruin the land, we’re gonna ruin our health, we’re gonna live in hate and fear for the rest of our lives if this goes on.

Now ideally what I would hope to happen, to please both sides, we call it the holy land. Palestinians and Israelis hold the same rights. Aggression is stopped from both sides, both sides are held accountable for any and all actions.

I know this is simply a dream but maybe, just maybe, one day it can be a reality🤷🏻‍♀️.

Anyways have a great day anon, I’m always available to text and to rant to, sending lots of love🫶🏼

[risu5waffles]

Sombre and sTENtorious Came the Call

Welp, maybe our last go around for one of these, so let's do it right.

Cute enough early effort from brett169. It's got all those early LBP hallmarks, but you can see the creator is stretching to do something big wiv it. There are a lot of little secrets and scorebubble caches, and i do always love to see those. Unfortunately, it's ultimately broken in LBP3. i don't know quite what it is, but Collected Object enemies from LBP1 are never treated well in 3, and even before we get to the one blocking our path, we pass by enemies that look like they've shaken themselves apart before we got there. It's not even something wonky about being in a community level, like the creators have mucked wiv the objects or something; the Redcoat enemies in the PotC DLC get up to some really weird shenanigans. Come to think of it, if i'm remembering right there's a set of chattery teeth in the DC DLC that's bugged in a way that'll keep you from getting 100% prizes there.

This one was sure a little bit of a lot and no lie. Edgy little murder/mayhem platformer, but at least is its own thing, and not another Friday the 13th knockoff. i'd be lying if i said the level was all that good, but it has its moments. The paintball rain was a fun, old-school effect; and it was kind of... cute's not the word, but the way you can choose to put that guy out of his misery (and get a prize!) or torture him more was definitely something. The whole level is definitely something for sure.

Oh my gosh, this level. This level here? This was so freaking cool it's actually kind of silly. chronos had mentioned on stream that the rotating level thing was a bit of a trend in LBP1 for a hot minute, but i don't remember playing any that committed to the bit as hard as this one. You've got mazes. You've got traps. There are all sorts of mechanisms to help you navigate. There's that neat little contraption you ride, when you grab it, it puts out bumpers to stay in place so you can control when you fall? And all that's before you get to the surface of the planet, all the buildings up there, and you parkour(ish) to get up to the Moon, and ride a shooting star to the scoreboard? Like, what the actual fuck, tho'? How do you make something that goes this damn hard and is this damn cool?

We talked about this one a lot last time, and i don't know that i have more in the tank for it now, but i still think it's really good, even for its flaws.

We talked about this one a few weeks back, when we covered Librarian's Mansion 2, and it's still as charming as it was then. i really, really wish i'd had the chance to play through some of the levels introduced here, i imagine they were pretty fun. i got the chance to talk a bit wiv Goof-master, and they seem a pretty nice kid. Very excited to create. i hope whatever their future looks like, they don't lose that spark. To be honest, most everybody i've met through doing reviews has been pretty cool. i've been inordinately lucky in that.

This is just a little giveaway level i found, tho' i don't remember why i found it. i already had a mostly complete logic bit set. Ended up working out for the best, tho'; i didn't have the old Global lighting and water logic bits, because i never used them in a level, but damn if they don't look fine. It's one thing i always appreciated about LBP1 logic, since there was a stronger possibility the pieces would be visible in level, Mm went through the design effort to make sure they would look nice as objects, the logic pieces from LBP2 on are all very readable when you have them in a chip, and that is really important, but they almost always stand out like a sore thumb when you see them in a level.

It's cute and everything, and i bet it was fun wiv a friend; but if you lose your bike, you're just fucked, and that's no fun. Honestly tho', i'm way more interested in the creator. lust-for-1985? What does that mean? What does that even mean?!

i can't rag on this level too hard, and honestly it's a good example of why we shouldn't just go and tee off on someone 'cause we don't click wiv what they've made. POBFISH's bio tells us they've got MS, and (at time of writing) were having a time of it. Also, interesting and appreciated, they updated the bio wivout erasing the previous bits, so we see them start at 44yo, to 45, a jump to 50 and expecting 51. That kind of sits wiv you a bit. When did they write that. Did they make it to 51? Did they stop updating because they stopped playing because they were done wiv the game, or because they were done? The level is... i hope they had a good time making it and playing it wiv their friends. i didn't have a bad time wiv it; the fish-vehicle-thing was a hoot. But there really wasn't much in there besides that. Well, it's not in me to throw shade here.

The gameplay here isn't too much to write home about; i feel like it struggles to maintain momentum, and there are bits that just don't parse super well visually. But dang if i didn't love the environment. Excellent use of extra layers and depth of field in the cameras to give the feeling that it's really expansive. Lots of movement, and decorations. Very solid choices in materials. Just all around nice to spend time in, and that's worth admission alone.

i appreciate this one, but i just can't bring myself to like it. The pace is just all over the map, and the timing on the hazards feels just tight enough to rack up a lot of needless deaths. It's got a lot going on, and it feels like it stays pretty true its theme, but at the end of the day, it really wasn't much fun.

-------------------------------------------

And that's that. Still thinking of how i want to handle the DLC review bits, but unless Sumo gets the servers back up, that'll be our last TENspot. i'll be honest wiv you, but it's melancholy as heck.

Thanks everyone for all the support for this Archive project. And just for everything up til now. You've made a major impact on my life, and i could never repay you for it. Keep yourselves safe, and remember that you're loved.

[decamarks]

Hey there! First off I want to say I *adore* your art, you absolutely 1000% perfectly tap into the vibe and style of late 90's/early 00's 3D models in a way literally no one else does. I think about your art of your fake games' glitches (especially the forum post!!! it's. *perfect.*) all the time :)

And I've noticed how you're always very insightful and kind whenever you answer asks, so thank you for that!

If it's not too intrusive to ask, I was wondering how you went about finding a doctor to get your autism diagnosis? I've been pretty sure for a few years now that I'm on the spectrum, but I've never had a clue how to actually get tested/diagnosed. Especially since I'm an adult female too, and I've heard a ton about how autism is really overlooked/underdiagnosed for people like us.

But seeing that you were able to find someone who avoided all the common pitfalls and was able to actually help you made me want to reach out. I had been wanting to ask you this for a while (as you can probably tell based on what the question was haha) but I was too anxious to actually do it (still am, a bit ><). Again, feel free to ignore this part if it's too personal or you don't want to answer it for any reason!

It feels awkward to end an ask with that, so I'll bookend it with something I think you'll like: have you ever heard of trsrockin.com? It's an old fansite I used to visit religiously as a kid that talked about early Pokemon and Super Mario games and collectibles from them, as well as oddities like glitches from the aforementioned games, forgotten weird one-off SNES games, documenting fake/trick fanmade "cheats" for games, and bootleg merchandise.

It's one of if not the first public place (afaik) that MissingNo. and pals were discovered/talked about, and a little community came together to try and figure out why the glitch happened and what all the effects and variants of it were. Even you've been to trsrockin before and none of this is new info, I thought it would at least be a nice trip down memory lane :)

It's an old site that has since been taken down, and for some reason archive.org can't properly archive the full site/all its links. But luckily someone created a complete mirror of it! You can find it here: http://catfish.it.cx/trsrockin/trsrockin.com/index.html

AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! ;__; you're too kind... i know i haven't posted too much of my 3d work recently, but trust me, i have a LOT more of those faux-retro aesthetics in store with the game i've been working on... >=) i'm always so so happy to see other people appreciate janky ol' 3d graphics, LMFAO

also!! i've definitely heard of trsrockin eheehee... i was a bit too young to use it when it was in its prime (and also more of a bulbapedia enthusiast), but i've perused some archived pages before! old internet forums & fansites are just the best thing in the world...

ANYWAY: regarding your question! Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to give advice about this, because I feel like I kind of got my diagnosis by chance... Essentially: I started seeing a new therapist; she suggested I might be on the spectrum, I said, "Yeah maybe IDK"; I got a referral to an evaluator—and then an incredibly expensive diagnosis after a few months of waiting and testing.

My case differs in that I didn't really suspect being on the spectrum myself. Which seems a bit silly, considering I now realize I am... observably autistic. In abundance. But it was genuinely hard to puzzle out, what with all my other problems (particularly, severe misophonia, which can be REALLY hard to differentiate from general sensory sensitivity.) So about specifically seeking out a diagnosis, I unfortunately can't give a good answer. But I'm willing to talk about the rest, on the off-chance it ends up helpful! (Under the cut at least.)

I don't like to be too open about my Issues™ online—but I got a whole lot of them, and they used to be a lot worse than they are now, so I was stuck in that perpetual "adolescent with treatment-resistant depression" purgatory for, like... my entire adolescence! Because no one knew what the hell was wrong with me. I'm barely in adulthood now, but I'm extremely thankful to be broken out of that. Both the 'treatment-resistant depression' diagnoses AND the adolescence. Being told with authority that I, indeed, have an untreated case of mega-autism—and not an irreparably broken brain whose electrical activities zap SSRIs straight out of existence—is definitely relieving. And now I can confidently say shit like 'mega-autism', so like, wins all around.

About getting a diagnosis in general: in my case, I kind of needed one, because it would be not be feasible for me to go to school/work/exist without accommodations of some kind. (The evaluation I had was, in part, just to get a psychological report of any kind, since I desperately needed supporting documentation to request accommodations anywhere.) Otherwise, I'm honestly not sure if I'd bother?

On one hand, an official diagnosis is an incredibly affirming thing to have—especially if you didn't even suspect it before; things start making a lot of sense afterwards, LOL—but on the other hand, it is a tedious and kind of humiliating process. And possibly expensive.

And then, like you mentioned, there's the problem of some doctors being biased or plainly godawful at their job/poorly designed systems ruining everything for everyone. It's probably for incompetency on those ends that a diagnosis managed to elude me for nineteen years straight. (Vividly recalling the time my school had a counselor give me an impromptu autism evaluation, in which she concluded that I "didn't seem to have autism, but would probably get along really well with autistic people." WHATEVER THAT MEANT.) But! It's not impossible to get someone who knows what they're doing! I'd love to say otherwise, but I really did just stumble into a decent doctor... There's a lot of luck involved, and man. I did not get good RNG at first. (← I'M SORRY FOR BEING A GAMER.)

I went into the evaluation doubting I had it, and heavily doubting that I'd be diagnosed, but like... Hold on let me reach across your desk and slide you the answers to the autism test. The trick is to not even try to be normal, I think. Intermittently talk about CRT monitors, and how you like learning ciphers, and Pokemon glitches—or whatever else you're into. But those specifically worked for me! "Don't mask", is what I'm saying. (Really though, I think if you're answering everything to the best of your ability, properly administered tests done by a doctor who doesn't suck should be able to diagnosis you. If they don't, then the problem is something systemic, and far beyond anything I could reasonably give advice about...)

ANYWAY! (x2) I'm honestly not sure if any of this is particularly helpful, but if you decide to pursue it, I wish you luck with getting your diagnosis!! It's definitely a bit of a hellish thing to do—but dammit, if it's worth it to you, then it's definitely worth doing.

YOUR REWARD FOR READING THIS WHOLE POST IS: "Kinesin_walking.gif"

YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH

[witchhatproductions]

Witch Hat News #3 - Less Is More

by Luke Sophia Watson

This is an archived version of our microfiction newsletter! You can read along on our tumblr, or subscribe here.

Myself and Tata, as you might except, do a lot of worldbuilding and setting creation here at Witch Hat HQ, and I like to think we’ve come to know a thing or two about it. I personally lurk in a lot of worldbuilding communities, so I’m often witness to discussions about worldbuilding advice, what pitfalls to avoid and so on and so forth. Some of it’s useful, some of it’s…less so. With that in mind, dear readers, I’d like to go on a little rant today about what I think makes good worldbuilding and how you too might make a good world in your very own home. 

There’s a lot I’d like to say, but to save this becoming a thesis, I’ll try to keep it brief. In my opinion, the best, catch-all, all-purpose advice I can give any aspiring worldbuilder is to world build less. 

That may seem counter-intuitive, but I mean it! 

There are plenty of people out there who, when they’re making a setting, they detail every little thing down to the amount of food a given town provides to the flags of every municipality everywhere. And that’s fine - great, even! - especially if it’s something you enjoy, but I think what some people forget is that you don’t need to do that. You don’t need to have encyclopaedias about every minute detail of your setting. You can do a lot more with a lot less.

I confess, I’m awful for minute detail (which is a lovely paradoxical Irishism which means I love it). I can’t get enough of micro-worldbuilding: I love making flags, and cities, and weird little social norms. But over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of macro-worldbuilding. Creating the themes, the overarching narratives - the very foundational ideas of a setting.

Tata’s especially good at this latter style of worldbuilding, but I’m getting there myself. It helps to ask yourself what your world is about - what’s its purpose, at a meta level. If the idea is just to have a fun, generic fantasy setting, and leave it at that, that’s fine - but for all the minute detail you give it, it will feel like a generic fantasy setting. If you’ve ever read a book or otherwise encountered a world that felt kind of…flat, I think it’s because it suffers in this department. 

I often encounter people who have reems and reems of details for the worlds in which they want to set their stories, but they don’t actually know much about the world itself, not at the meta level. If you hammer in early what purpose your world serves, and if you isolate a few themes, then no matter what you do or don’t create, it will still have a particular flavour to it. Beyond that, it will even help you pin down what you should and shouldn’t be spending your time creating.

Recently, I’ve been working on my own little setting called Cyberscape. It’s a homage to the JRPGs and the translated anime/cartoons I grew up with. It focuses on one city - the rest of the world exists, in theory, but I’m never really going to talk about it in the story, so I don’t worry myself about what it looks like; those parts of the world just aren’t relevant to the major themes and plotlines I want to explore. Despite the fact that I’m actually doing less creation, I think the setting is still better for that tighter scope.

A world has to be believable, sure, but it doesn’t have to be completely explained. After all, ours isn’t - and even if it was, I doubt any of us would know absolutely everything about it. 

And honestly? It’s quite freeing. It’s nice, sometimes, to remember that you don’t have to detail everything. 

And I think your worlds may just be better for it.

Reviews

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Rangers by @do9bessa. Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, if you’re familiar with it, is a great example of ‘Less is More’ worldbuilding, and I think its success in this regard is typified in the sheer volume of comics and fan works set in this universe. There’s something about Pokémon being adventurers and heroes that is so charming, even if the world itself is often left unexplained. There’s a lot of PMD fan material out there, but Rescue Rangers is our favourite - and it’s been updated relatively recently! If you’re familiar with the games, this will seem familiar - but not too familiar, as Bessa is very much taking it in its own direction.

Faustian Nonsense’s Audio Dramas by Various. Audio Dramas naturally lend themselves to ‘less is more’ style storytelling, and Faustian Nonsense’s vast catalogue of shows really demonstrates this with creative worlds and interesting approaches to storytelling. Not all of them are fiction shows, but those that are serve as a good lesson in this style of creation. Chain of Being, which we’ve recommended before, is one of the shows in their network!

This Gun That I Have In My Right Hand is Loaded by Timothy West. And on the other side of the coin, for a masterclass in what not to do, this radio play satirises everything that makes bad, dense dialogue and narration so horrible to listen to - all while being genuinely enjoyable for its absurdity. Sources are vague on this, but it seems to date from the 60s and to have been produced for the BBC, but regardless I think it’s quite timeless.

Golden Shadows by…me, Luke Sophia! Golden Shadows does not necessarily fit this theme, but it’s my webcomic and I’ll do what I want with it. It’s a science-fantasy story about vigilantism and justice, and though there’s not very much of it yet, I did finally put out a new page after about 6 months. I’m very much hoping it won’t take that long for the next one!

Your project here. Do you make art of any kind - visual, written, performed? Are you starting a project or recruiting co-creators? We want to hear from you! Email us at contact@witchhatproductions.com. A proper submission procedure will be created if needed, but for now, it's open season - show us anything. Fire away.

Until next time!

[ravencincaide]

hi, i don’t normally comment on things like this— kind of nervous it’ll make you uncomfy but i hope you know how genuinely phenomenal your writing is. i read the anon ask that was like “where are the fics” and like i recognize it’s cause they’re excited to read what you want but some part of me is sad when people treat writers like that. idk… i don’t want to step on any boundaries, i don’t know you as a person, i have no right to decide what’s hurtful for you. i just hope you don’t feel pressured into writing anything, i would hate to witness someone’s hobby become more of a job. once again, i don't know you personally so i could be blowing things out of proportion 😭😭

Hey Anon! Goodness you're so sweet and I would just love to give you a hug and say thank you so much and just show you how appreciated your words are. Honestly you remind me of the old fanfic community and its a breath of fresh air! You did not make me uncomfortable or cross any boundaries what-so-ever (if anything I think you've read me and my self-estreem issues very well haha XD)! That being said I think, unfortunately, that's kinda the way fanfic community is at the moment; not only on tumblr but on other bigger sites (FF.net, AO3..). Fics are taken, translated, read aloud, unique writers styles, prompts and expressions shamelessly copied. There's also a demand from writers to share, produce, provide, be efficient, have a schedule, take requests etc etc while they get threatened with AI, hate, insults, trolls, demands, being reported, get buried/not have any engagement at all and I could go on. Fact of the matter is, there's very little wiggle room as a writer for what you can do 'back' so to speak. Sure you can create a DNI. Or more precisely a " All fics are unique works by ©ravencincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reposted/copied anywhere else without my consent, please inform me! " text to every fic- but does anyone listen? Not really. Sometimes it's still nice to see it though so I'm definitely starting with that even if it is essentiella pointless. You can spend valuable time on playing 'monitor police' on all those who take your work for granted and manually block spam-like, monitoring age/minors & bot-like blogs etc etc while repeatedly reminding about reblogs, comments and such. But ultimately it's not a fun activity; it would entail me blocking basically 90% of my followers. It would also take what little time i have to spare away from writing. And finally, I could just put this blog on hiatus and keep my writing to myself or find a site where I can hide it behind paywalls. Seeing as I write for anime/small fandoms/BSD rather than big fandoms such as Supernatural, Harry Potter etc the chances of doing that and making a name are rather.. well limited to say the least.

So fact of the matter is, independently whether I get hurt or writing becomes a job, if I want my fics out there. And if I want 'Raven Cincaide' to become a penname- a trademark that I could one day use for when I publish an original buyable book, then all the shit that comes with writing- it's just something I have to take with a smile on my face.

Thank you so much for reaching out to me and giving me a small space to vent. <3 Much love Raven

[hypergamiss]

Hi I’m really going through it so would appreciate your advise/input💕 was basically in a talking stage/situationship for long time long distance. It was so draining for me because he kept continually hurting me but always flipping things on me trying to make it my fault when In reality it was always his fault and doing...he would be very attentive to me, consistent with communication and very nice to me with his words but his behavior told me otherwise...it was like a mind fuck. So now that it’s over, I am depressed and been like this for months. I keep up with self care, eat clean and workout but still feel SO. SAD. I have tried to go on dating apps again and gone on a few dates which went well except for the fact on one of them I was drinking and started crying so hard and talking about the guy to the guy I was on a date with and honestly just feel numb and have cried a lot over it over all these months . I know some girls just go on a hookup spree or just find a rebound but that’s not me and I’ve tired after months and not happy even still with the guy I was going on dates with that treats me well....Do you have any input?

Oof, girl, I feel your pain! That talking stage/situationship vortex sounds like emotional quicksand. And mind-games? No wonder you're still feeling the fallout! Here's my take, with a side of tough love and a sprinkle of humor:

This dude had the emotional range of a teaspoon. Hot and cold, sweet words but shady actions – classic gaslighting 101. Good riddance, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

Self-care is essential, but sometimes the heart needs its own workout as well. Crying with your date? Honey, that wasn't the wine, your heart needed a good sob session.

Ditch the "Shoulds": Everyone heals in their own way, we're not robots. Hookups, rebounds, they're not for everyone. Trying to force yourself into that mold is only going to make you feel worse. Not to mention hook-up culture never benefits women at all, it's extremely unsafe physically and emotionally.

Numbness is...well, normal(unfortunately): After a mind-screw like that, your feelings are in self-defense mode. Be patient. Focus on small moments of joy, even if it's binge-watching trashy reality TV or going to a concert that will feed your soul(there are endless options).

Therapy, trusted friends, and books my dear: A professional can help you untangle those emotional knots and shut down the "it's my fault" soundtrack in your head. Friends can help with validating your emotions. Books can guide you similar to how a professional would, sometimes even better I would argue.

It's gonna take time. Your heart didn't break overnight, and it won't magically mend that quickly either. But with self-compassion, maybe some help, and ditching that manipulative jerk, you'll get your spark back.

[jackalopescruff]

stuff just really sucks and is really hard and honestly behind the scenes of all my funny haha posting is the fact that i manage a lot of shit and part of having life experience is people tend to just pour in from everywhere to ask you advice, or to walk them through things and while i am more than happy to help folks because communal outreach to friends and others alike is so important and we all have varying levels of knowledge and to hide what I know is both unfair but just downright against who I am. but at the same time, it would be nice to feel like people care abt me beyond my ability to teach them things or being available to just walk them through stuff I had to teach myself. it feels like my mental health, my exhaustion, what could be going on in my life is kinda forgotten when people need something from me. often times i dont feel like most of the people who I do impart any help on actually return to check on me after the fact, nor does it feel like many people realize how much i lend a hand, reach out, be there to listen all that. I dont do these things expecting anything in return because that would be again, just unfair of me. kindness given only because you expect something in return just doesnt feel good to me but at the same time, itd be nice to feel appreciated now and then for my efforts or at the very least not feel so alone and uncared about unless its beneficial to folks. idk it just is rough, i feel bad, this is probably all stupid and greedy of me, and im just very small zero strength no spoons for a while and id like to be kinda spoiled for once even if only a little. pbbtbtbtbbtt idk words hard im sad and feel unappreciated a bit and its probably my own doing sorry.

[hansolz-moved]

or just take the support in whatever form you receive it and don’t be ungrateful.

hi anon ! I took some time before replying to this to collect my thoughts but here we are :D

so for me this is very deliberate wording. immediately jumping to ungrateful because I think posts should be reblogged is pretty ridiculous imho! so id like to break it down for you

i used to make moodboards and icon / header packs! some of my most popular posts from that time have 523 and 401 notes respectively. out of these 532 notes, 28 were reblogs, 494 were likes and one was a reply. and out of the 401 notes 36 were reblogs and 365 were likes. some of those posts have as few as 4 reblogs. this is extremely frustrating because it means my content was enjoyed but not deemed worthy of spreading. i would see it used on twitter and on discord or even reposted without credit because the time I took to compile it was never taken into account. it was always brushed off as 'easy to do' and as such simply not worthy of proper engagement.

when a post is reblogged, it is boosted to other blogs and as such to the dash of people who follow that blog. that's new, fresh engagement and new exposure, every time. that engagement is also going to push your post up in the search results, but unfortunately, most of the time people are not going to go searching for posts to like/rb and instead they will reblog what is already on their dash. this is why that engagement is so important for content creators of all kinds.

it is nice to receive likes, yes. and I will happily admit that since getting into a new type of content creation, my reblogs are not that bad but I am typically receiving double what I receive in reblogs in likes alone. having nearly 600 notes for not even a third of them to be reblogs can be frustrating because i know that my content is not receiving as much new exposure as it could. I do this to have fun, not to be famous on Tumblr of all sites but I have to admit that it feels wonderful for people to engage with my content and appreciate it.

likes are awesome !! they really are !!! but ultimately they do not really help content creators gain or maintain any type of footing in the community. especially not because a lot of people have their likes hidden. if I receive 200 likes on a post, 100 of those people will have their likes hidden and that's being stingy with the numbers tbh!. out of those 100 people with visible likes, maybe 5 or so people will go through their likes at any given time and if they're an avid user of Tumblr, that has to be done pretty quickly for them to see my post. chances are they don't engage with it, meaning that even though it adds to my numbers and its a nice gesture... it's essentially pointless.

on the flip side, if I get 100 reblogs and each of those blogs has, on average, 5 active followers; that's a shit ton of blogs I am suddenly visible to. not all of them will choose to interact with me or my content and that's okay because it still gives me visibility and that is extremely important.

personally, I like and reblog. if I haven't reblogged something, I queue it. but honestly , if I had to choose the way people engage with my posts I would rather them just rb if they're going to choose one! it helps me massively and I am ever grateful for the people who rb my posts because I immediately see the engagement from their following whereas I gain little to no fresh engagement from reblogs alone.

ccs; writers, gif makers, gfx artists, etc etc etc all spend a ridiculous amount of time doing what we love to do, and no, we are not entitled to anything from anyone but to say that if you enjoy our content and benefit off of it (if you're using it as an icon somewhere else, or saving it onto your phone to be your wallpaper, or showing your friends, or getting the feels from it because that fanfic was just so <333333 then you're benefitting from it!) ... then you can give us a boost. especially if you are consistently enjoying our content.

the bottom line is that the reblog system keeps this site going. if we keep going down this path then all of these content creators you know and love are going to get frustrated and leave when the only form of engagement truly benefitting them dwindles even further. and I can't say I blame them because ill be right there with them

[joeys-piano]

Trope Game

Tagged by my good man, @voxofthevoid. Who, in my egregious opinion, is the king for tropes I likely will never write for. I shall tag, if they humble accept, the following individuals: @somuchanemoia, @feu-eau, @bowties-are-cool3000, @fandomgirl394, @astralalmighty, @rebrandedbard, @flowercrown-bard, and any others!

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

10 ->  very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Spoiler alert: I'm neutral with a lot of the tropes presented in this game because I strongly believe that the strength of the writer is often more important than the tropes they're using to tell the story. If I can feel the writer's confidence and I vibe with what they're giving to me in the summary, hell yeah I'll click and read on it. Tropes are nice to haves; they are not the be-all and end-all of a story and they don't compensate for what I identify as weak writing.

Age gap   0/10

If it's there, it's there. That's all there is to it. It's not a selling point nor is it anything I actively look for. I think it's a funny coincidence that some of my favorite pairings have had vocal hatred from certain pockets of the internet because "age gaps" -- the phrase -- is thrown so vehemently that the words themselves sound like a dog whistle for a specific type of person who is not only immature, but who seemingly doesn't understand that the internet and is what you make of it through what you show yourself. And if something honestly bothers you and it doesn't hurt anybody IRL, you can just fuck off and enjoy the things you like instead of pulling shit out for something other people enjoy and think that an "age gap" is some sort of valid argument.

Codependency   0/10

Depends on the strength of the writer. Like with age gaps, if it's there it's there. I don't actively seek it out and nor is it a selling point for me.

Enemies to lovers   0/10

If it's there, it's there. This would also depend on the strength of the writer, too and what type of introspection is going into the work. Because I'm more interested in the realization and what the characters are going to do about it. And if I can vibe with what the writer is doing, cool. But again, it's not a selling point for me and I don't actively seek this one out.

Enemies with benefits   0/10

I'm starting to get the trend that I'm a really nonchalant reader who sticks around if I vibe with the writer's direction and strengths. I would have to see the accompanying tags to determine if this is something I want to read, and well -- the summary, too. But the tag, on its own, doesn't sway me either way.

Fake dating/relationship   0/10

Depends on the strength of the writer. I don't often read these kind of stories, mostly because the summaries I've seen for these kind of stories doesn't draw me in. Not the tag, itself. So if I see a strong writer doing something in this space, I'll check it out.

Found family   -5/10

It doesn't interest me. I'll still check it out if I look at the summary and am intrigued with the writer's direction/writing style/writing strength. But other than that, I have no real interest for this trope. I prefer it being in the background than as the main focus of the work. I think if personally, I identified with found family in my own life, my answer would be vastly different. But in this current reality, I don't. I can appreciate and respect that it provides a welcoming space for areas in the queer community who often can't be heard in the crowd. And that it gives a space for those writers to come in with their own flavor and build into the fandom jungle.

Friends to lovers   7/10

More often than not, when I'm writing a shippy fic or am itching to read one, this is on my mind. I don't actively seek out this tag because this concept can show up in pretty much any kind of story in some way that just clicks as to why the characters involved have such good chemistry with each other. I have a soft spot for this one, explicitly defined or not.

Friends with benefits   0/10

If it's there, it's there. I'm not actively seeking it out and nor is it a selling point. But if I think the story has a stronger writer who knows what they're doing, I'll give it a chance.

Hurt/comfort   8/10

You must be mistaken. I don't seek it out. Rather, it seeks for me. I'm particularly picky about how this trope is handled, so your summary and opening have got to be strong in my mind or I'll be backspacing sooner than later to preserve time for a story I'll like.

Love triangle   nope/10

Hell no.

Mistaken/hidden identity   9/10

Oof. It's not a tag I seek out, but when I see these pop up on AO3 and there is a strong writer handling the reins, how could I pass it up? The shit slaps, peep.

Monster fu… relationship   9/10

Yes, I'm a monsterfucker. Next question. But if you sprinkle cannibalism on top of that, I'll shove my schedule into the dirt to make time to read this thoroughly.

Obsession, possessiveness, etc   -3/10

This is the interesting case of it's fun to write, but not so fun to read. Because it heavily depends on the writer. And frankly, I've read things I don't vibe with that I've resorted to writing my own stuff because I know what my taste is.

Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc)    0/10

Depends on the characters, honestly. If I don't care for the characters, I ain't here for it.

Poly   3/10

I like ships. I like ships with Character A with Character B, and C, and D, etc... And if they can all be in a big loving thing, that's great. It grabs my attention because it's not that hard to find on AO3 when you see all the relationship tags. It greatly depends on the writer if it'll be enjoyable to read.

pregnancy   0/10

If it's there, it's there. I'll backspace when I stop vibing with things.

Second chance   0/10

Depends very heavily on the writer and what the plot is. Because it can get nasty (backspace nasty) real quick.

Sex to feelings   10/10

Gets my seal of approval. There's introspection, vulnerability, the emotional intimacy, and it's just - it's such a nice package. Doesn't matter if it's angst-ridden or so fluffy it makes you have cavities. Oh, such a delight.

Slowburn   -7/10

Bruh, unless the plot is really that good and the writer is baller, I ain't got time to just sit there and wait 50,000 words before something happens. Nah, I've got limited energy as is. I'll just skip on along to established relationship or something to get my fix going.

Soulmates   fuck no/10

You have to be a very strong writer with a very strong plot to get me to sit down and actually read this kind of thing. And I can only name one writer who's broken through this strong wall I have against this trope.

[shdwtouch]

i like that you are always such a loving presence on the dash <3 i don't have much love to give, myself (i rarely feel love), and i feel awkward receiving it as well, so i prefer to send compliments on anon because i don't. i don't want the attention. i don't want people to see me as someone who is loving, because i'm not, and i get worried people will then expect it of me. anyway ignore this if you want no worries at all, but i do want to say it's nice to see someone with so much genuine love to give. <3

( as a note / for context, I received this the other night when I responded to the first unpopular opinion ask ! and as a note to anon, if you see this, I have included a response to your second ask under the cut <3 )

daw, thank you !! ; w ; I do try. like, I really do. I just. live by the resolve that I would never want people to feel like I have. I've felt... really low. been in really dark places, especially while in the roleplay community. and I honestly wouldn't wish that on anyone. everyone deserves love, support, and kindness. everyone deserves to feel seen and valid and wanted. it's... kind of awkward sometimes, honestly, but knowing that people see what I say and feel its intent makes it all worthwhile ! I try to be as accommodating and open-minded and, well, empathetic as I can. to say things I think people need to hear / see, and with the hope that my saying anything at all has helped another person say it, or not need to say it all. <3

as for you, I think that is valid ! and part of why I feel embarrassed sometimes, because I know that my flavor of love and support isn't one that everyone will enjoy. but I think that what you do is fair. and... to be completely honest. I think you situation is incredibly special. to rarely feel love but having the inkling to voice it anyway for the benefit of others... that is the sweetest thing I can think of. true, selfless love. because you aren't giving it because you expect anything in return, or because you want people to see you as a loving person... but because it is needed, or wanted. that is. incredibly wholesome, and you have my respect. just know that your kindness and love, even if anonymous, is valued and appreciated.

on the flipside, to know someone doesn't love or show kindness easily... but receive it from them ? that is truly special. intimate, even. and I hope the people around you know how incredibly special your care is, for that reason. (also, I don't meant to burst your bubble, and granted this is based on your anons alone, but... I would say you are a fairly loving and kind individual. I think the people around you would understand your position / situation and be immensely touched by the love you show them in spite of it. but I also understand your fears of it becoming expected, so I'm not judging you. it can be... exhausting when your love is expected by someone, even if offered freely. and I can definitely empathize with that anxiety on days I don't feel very supportive or don't have the spoons to offer the level of support I usually do.)

at any rate, I do appreciate your message. thank you, anon. ; w ; you have made me feel very valid and worthwhile in my efforts. <3

no no no ! that post had nothing to do with your message, I promise. I actually had a conversation with someone (that wasn't even really related to the post, tbh) that made me realize the post might have inspired insecurity in those who had read it, and I wanted to address that because I definitely didn't want anyone to feel bad for not sending positivity. I also realized after rereading the post that I had taken a very personal stance, and that might have implied a failure or fault in the part of my writing partners, which wasn't true. I think it can often be said we complain about what we lack before we first consider what we already possess.

and I don't want you to feel bad either ! that was not my intention. see what I have written above heheh I have a lot of respect for you and the love you show despite a lack of social energy, and I greatly appreciate you sending these messages, truly. <3

[risu5waffles]

Holy shite, i missed a (ten) spot!

When i tell you i actually panicked a bit when i realized i'd not put up a recap post. It took me a hot minute to figure out that i was only a day late, but still.

This level is so loud. Like, thankfully it's also pretty short, but it's still awful damned loud. i try not to get on creators' cases about sound balancing; my ears are so bad, whenever i use music or sfx they're either too loud or too soft, because i honestly can't tell? But even still, i wish more creators would fiddle wiv the volume a bit, especially when they're using community-made tracks; they're always way too loud. Otherwise, this level is, it's fine really. Nothing that really stands out about the gameplay or presentation, but it's fun enough for a couple of minutes. i do have to say it was interesting they used this section of The Cosmos backdrop, 'cause i hardly ever see it. Usually folx (myself included, mind you) pull it down to the arcade cabinets, or mid-way up to the more space-y section. This part is kind of neat too.

This one's such a neat idea, and really well presented too, right down to the music (tho', if i remember right, Baile-Flamenco was kind of known for that). Kind of half-in-half-out on puzzles and platforming, where you can transfer movability to objects by grabbing them (the in-universe explanation is you're painting them wiv a puddle of blood). i love the little diorama bit toward the end, wiv all the world's monsters, including... YOU! The Sadako climbing out the telly is a top notch bit. i also really appreciate that the creator went to such lengths to put the level in English. It's not perfect, maybe, but their writing/speaking style has a lot of charm, and doing that kind of thing is hard work.

Just a simple little bounce around the screen grabbing point bubbles and avoiding bombs kind of gig. It's well presented, tho', and the home-brew bounce pads are still functioning mostly right, which isn't always the case wiv LBP1 levels in LBP3.

i may have gotten on a bit of a taka061 kick that week of recording, but his levels are so good. It does raise a bit of an issue for me, 'cause sometimes i'd really like to just record a bunch of levels by one creator, but wiv only one episode a day, i feel a bit like i'm taking space from other folx? Honestly, i'd love to just take two weeks and play all of chronos' stuff for the archives. The only thing of note here, aside from the level just being really, really good, is i wound up having to record it again a few days after the episode went live, because i needed some b-roll for my LittleBite-sizedPlanet look at Tic Tac Sunset, and that playthrough was way better than the one we have here. Just a little salty about that.

Kind of weird we had two levels based around colouring the environment in the same chunk of ten. That wasn't planned at all. Neither was my having a pseudo-y Roman-y motif-y kind of level to be published on the Ides of March. Just happy accidents all over, i guess. This one is nice enough, but it is just a bit too much, and i felt like it'd worn its welcome out by the end (tho', in fairness, that was on me since i wanted everything i could get for the archive). Now i really appreciate that the creator apparently had the same idea, and gives the player two chances to bounce early. That's not me giving a backhanded compliment, i really do think that's a cool thing to do. There've been plenty of levels i've played, even quite good ones, where i've found myself thinking "please, just give me a scoreboard already." One interesting thing wiv this one, or at least how it dovetails wiv the LittleBite-sizedPlanet for this upcoming Friday, is how if you make too many things interactable, your brain (or mine, at least), just starts to actively not care? Because there are just too many things going on to track, or for any one of them to have real importance in comparison to any of the others.

It's a little weird that this level leads off wiv that wee robot-y(?) character being very clear that you have to turn every valve, and then half the valves in the level not actually doing anything. i wonder if that was on purpose, or if something went a bit sideways in the translation from LBP2 to LBP3. i liked this one fairly well; it's got a really solid material and decoration set that get put to good use, tho' i'd say they're presented best when the camera is pulled in a bit more. That happens a lot, i find. It's rare for a creator to get a big environment looking real good, even when it's necessary for gameplay to have a pulled out view. That's not meant to be a knock on any creators, just that it seems a tough trick to pull off.

We talked about this on Friday, and i stand by everything i said there.

i wound up really enjoying this one, and i'd like to give the LBP1 level it's adapted from a play on stream. The swimming bits were a little hard to navigate, on account of them being dark, and my always forgetting you can't just change layers underwater, but i really don't have any big complaints about this one.

Gameplay-wise there's nothing too flash in this one, but i really found myself charmed by the environment. kome managed to nail a scale that felt just right. The incidental details really put in a lot of work too. Like, those terrariums? <chef's kiss> i did discouver thanks to this one (we'd actually played it on stream before i recorded it for the archive) that Twitch mutes the audio in the VoD download file, not just the VoDs that are up on Twitch, and i hate that like the devil hates sin. i'd suspected it to be the case, but i never listen to my streams once they're up. Even searching for a thumbnail i tend to have it on mute. It just popped in my brain to make a point of checking this time, and sure enough. i tell you that really frazzles my frizzles.

Dry tree yo. Just.. Dry tree. i don't even really know what to say aside from it is so very, very good. The fact that it has still, somehow, managed to not be Team Picked (despite having picked up a Level of the Day nod) is, quite possibly, honestly a sin. If it weren't for the fact that some of the Team Picks are actually very much quality, i'd assume Sumo were throwing darts at a list of creators they already liked. i played through this one so many times trying to get a run wiv all the secrets, which is a difficult feat on account of i never put any points into Spot Hidden, but i did finally manage to pull it off. Gotta say it felt pretty good.

So that's another 10 down, yeah. After the kerfluffle wiv my level last week, i've got the feeling it's going to be a little late to justify an every 50 schedule for a hub publish. i kinda had that feeling tho'. i do think this build is going to go more quickly, since there are a lot of parts to it that i'm keeping from the previous one. Trying it out in dThermo is a bit of a worry; i've never had particular luck wiv that system. Based on what i've heard, tho', at least some of it was just me honestly using it wrong. Thankfully i've got chat helping out, and @mellangard , especially, has a lot of experience wiv dThermo, and his advice has been invaluable.

i don't know that anyone watches the episodes all the way to the end to notice, but i think i changed up the end card somewhere in this stack. Nothing really too drastic, just tossed a progress flag up instead of the black background i'd been using. i don't change the tagline every episode like i do wiv LittleBite-sizedPlanet, and i think we'll probably be sticking wiv "For Fierce Trans Joy" for at least a little while longer. Times have been rough for us, and look to be getting rougher depending on where you live (my trans sibs in Missouri, just... fucking hell); but i want us to have our joy, even if we have to claw it out raw and bloody.

[malamelodies]

Hello Precious

oh sweetheart,

what a weird whirlwind this life has been. I am presently in San Diego, finding myself constantly looking around thinking, how the fuck did I get here? what lead me to this moment, and I have moments where I;m fucking scared I won't be able to leave. that I will somehow be stuck here for a time too long. that in my 'prime' I'm actually wasting away my life.

I had this thought today: the two times I had the most money I've ever had: I was with Jedidiah, and I immediately spent it all. I spent it all. and the moments it was spent on was beautiful, but it was fleeting. I didn't invest. I understand that I was leaning into it. over 100% and the way I thought I was never going to get over greg... and I haven't in ways... I'm terrified that Jedidiah has cost me my ability to love whole heartedly.

Yes ross should have been a rebound... but I really really loved the way we spoke to each other. and when it was good, it was really really sweet. I loved laying in bed with him and just laughing. and enjoying each other.

I just know that I want monetary abundance. a family and to be in a place that is close to the ocean and its a place that I love absolutely love. in all aspects and beyond.

right now I'm waking up looking around asking how I got here in a bewildered and sad state. I'm excited to wake up and look around and think 'holy fuck how did I get here?!' with such excitement and love and appreciation.

now in the mean time, how do I gain that perspective where I'm at?

I think the first thing is routine. physical routine.

I need to not think about what has happened in the past or the future for the matter and just be here. in this moment. if font of public square. finding my flow. what can my flow be.

Monday: therapy, bike, yoga (work trade)

Tuesday: run with Moki. Gym.

Wednesday: Bike ride with Moki. Gym. Work at coffee house.

Thursday: Mom/swim. Open Gym Aerial. Yoga. (dance?)

Friday: Morning run with Moki. work (dance?)

Saturday: Work (maybe bring bike?)

Sunday: If I'm working in the evening, I think it would be really nice to go to the farmers market.

and then there is community outreach as well as finding another job that is easy is cash flow. I would like to find a restaurant and honestly, any that are in this area could be pretty sweet. Maybe look around in La Mesa or Lemon Grove or Normal Heights. Something a little more funky. I fell into Coasterra thinking that the view would ensure things. and it did. but being in kitchen. meh. and this is where I need to stop and listen. Universe. How do you want me to show up in this world at this time? Give me guidance to how I can best serve you.

Its funny... on the way over to wherever I was going to write this, I was thinking that I was going to write about what has happened the last 2... no 3 years of my life.

Starting April 19, 2020. I'm pretty sure I left for Maui sometime in May. and up until that moment. I remember being with Cary and thinking 'fuck this is the end of a chapter and its fucking beautiful'. but I was also craving to be on island. it was calling to me SO LOUDLY. then the money that was given to me through the government. and how active we were. there was literally nothing else we could do but work out. and garden. and be naked and spend more time with the environment around us.

and now. here. let it be a challenge. I know there are awesome people out here. I see it. I see moments of it. and I also see how my eyes get wider looking at different non profits.

I fucking hate jamul. my god. its so dry and hot and rattle snakes are real. I don't want them around. I don't like them.

so things for future online therapy of Tumblr.... 1. saga of 2020 to present.

2. find that job. maybe Carter, just maybe, you were brought here for a reason. and rather than trying to rush out or itch at the discomfort. remember that this is a beautiful place and there is hope to find that thriving community and purpose that I look for anywhere and everywhere I go.

I don't know if it's because things are more spaced out here, but I just want to ground into one neighborhood and really lean into it.

not to mention today is eclipse day. how to womynifest the things I desire and adore. and the kind ways of genuine connection with all types of people is something that I love. people do seem a little more normal and interesting. maybe la mesa is the starting point of normalcy. I fucking hate jamul. its so silly. more so I dont hate jamul, because actually going inland with all the feed places; I'm actually wondering how I missed out. there is a whole journey of farm life, and I was just far enough away.

I literally get disgusted when I think about how my parents live. EVERY TIME I eat with my parents, or more so, my parents food; I get sick. I genuinely get sick. I feel weird in my tummy and it just isn't fun.

so, baby girl. lets take it one step at a time. literally now and into the evening.

play by play.. because I find that my mind gets a little too whirly so lets write it down. even when I had a moment last night right before bed and I thought 'oh yeah I didn't do those things I thought about' and I didn't do those things because I'm not writing it down. they need to be written down in order for the tiniest chance they will be remembered and executed.

so now, as we wrap up this journal reflection, I would like to take out the envelopes and see what I need to schedule.

lets actually take a moment and do it right meow.

breast exam: presently on hold for

Dermatology: on the 24th I think it's at 1?

I need blood test, which I'm not seeing so I will need to drive down there (maybe tomorrow) (or Friday) to sign papers. so fucking stupid.

I think the best thing is to call them tomorrow.

then I'm going to go pee and put away my things and kindly walk up and down this street. maybe change, actually. and do I want to go down to kava? I think it could be fun. then come home. love up and have some bone broth and hangs out with parents for a moment.

THEN. upstairs music. candle. intention. <3

okay I like this.