#honestly peridot's feelings are very complicated on a lot of stuff

[peri-2f5l-5xg]

(Lobototalkie) 🤞👀

it’s time for Ranadot to pass judgment on your soul

@lobototalkie

     On one hand, Loboto weirds her the heck out. Peridot doesn’t know what to make of this strange guy who compares everything to teeth and, in her honest opinion, adjusted to the concept of a multiverse way too fast. She’s fully aware he’s got at least a few screws loose. Also, since when do humans come in blue? Her list of restrained inquiries is at least ten miles long, but she resists due to the obvious fact that the answers would just leave her with even more questions. Trying to talk to him makes her head hurt.

     But on the other hand, she can’t really find it in her nature to judge. Peri knows she’s weird too, and has a bad habit of accidentally stumbling across people’s boundaries and making them uncomfortable or upset. She Gets it. Heck, rewind far enough and she was even doing so on purpose! For all her condescending remarks and surface-level arrogance, she’s actually incredibly self-conscious, frequently overcompensating in order to protect her fragile sense of self-worth. To her, Loboto just seems to be a bit earlier on, before she became aware of just how much harm her social stumbling can cause.

     So in a way, Peridot finds herself curious, relating to him in certain senses that have caught even her off-guard. It’s resulted in an odd sort of push-and-pull in which she watches from a distance, but is cautious of trying to get too close.

     She definitely appreciates the frog photos though, and wishes she knew some of his less toothy interests to find for him in return.

[arodabi]

okay, i’m finally getting around to writing this, and uhh ill say its for aro week too. this is written as an aro person directed at alloromantic people. when i refer to writing, i’m kind of using it as a general term for creative works. Here’s me throwing my hat in on the question:

Can you ship aromantic characters?

and my answer is,,,,, actually a question. Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? 

I want alloros to realize that for a lot of aros, we do not get to see ourselves represented often. I can actually count on like one hand how many popular canon aro characters there are, and on the whole, none of their identities are respected. people constantly try to weasel their way out of actually writing aro characters, or they just ignore or deny their identity outright. fandom spaces (hell creative spaces in general) are at best not welcoming to aros, and at worst actively hostile towards us. So when the first question brought up when a character gets canonically confirmed as aro is “okay cool but can i ship them???” or “that’s nice but how can i still write about my fave ship that involves them??” i want to fucking scream. its a slap to the face and it shows that people really do not give a shit about aros. you say stuff like that and all i hear is “my fictional ship is so much more important than representing your marginalized minority identity” so instead of me just sitting here and saying “yes you can totally ship aro characters, as long as you’re respectful!!!” i’m saying “can you stop and think why you want to shove an aro character into a romantic relationship at the first chance you get?? maybe you have some arophobia you haven’t worked on?? maybe since we live in an amatonormative world, you’re letting that influence your views??” because that question being the first thing out of your mouth when you see a character you like confirmed as aro? that’s already disrespectful towards aros in my book.

So back to my question, Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? is it because you can’t write characters without them being in romantic relationships? or because you think a character without a romantic relationship is boring? Because if so, that’s a bad reason and it sounds like amatonormativity is rotting your brain. 

Is it because you just really like a ship with the aro character? Because you can write two characters with a strong relationship without writing them as a couple. A strong friendship can hold just as much power as a romantic relationship.

Is it because fuck aros, i will write what I wanna write and I don't wanna write this character with their canon identity? because then you’re just an arophobic asshole that needs to work on your shitty opinions. aro representation is just as important as any other lgbtqia+ representation.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking “well i heard aros can be in queerplatonic relationships!” I want you to think for a second. Are you writing a qpr or are you writing a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off? Have you talked to aro people or read stuff actually written by us? because, yes, some qprs can look a lot like a romantic relationship from the outside, but that’s just it, you’re looking at it from the outside. qprs are more than just “romantic relationship with extra steps”, and i think it’s really telling how many times i see alloromantic people saying they’re depicting an aro character in a qpr, not a romantic relationship, but then they never ever make any effort to distinguish the qpr from any other romantic relationship they write or draw. It just feels like qprs are getting used by alloros as a gatcha any time an aro person objects to how they depict (or don’t depict) aromanticism. if you want to write a character in a qpr then go for it! but you need to actually do research, talk to aros, get multiple opinions and not just take the first opinion that agrees with you and run with it.

“But what about headcanoning a character as arospec?” now i will say before i go into this, i am aro, not arospec, so if an arospec person wants to come in and correct me at any part here im happy to listen. but my problem when alloros bring up arospec identities is a very similar problem to how qprs are often depicted. I remember when Peridot Stevenuniverse got confirmed aro (she did, do not argue this with me) people were jumping over themselves to assure everyone that “a character getting confirmed as aro just means they are any arospec identity” which,, uhh,, not true? i mean if an arospec person wants to see a canon aro character as, say, aroflux, i’ve got no problem, aro and arospec people can do what they want really. but, i do have a problem with all the alloro fans who were spreading this. because, do you really see the character as demiromantic? or are you using that identity to deflect criticism from erasing aro identities? are you actually trying to write a good depiction of a demiro person? or are you just writing normal ship stuff and slapping a “uwu ive never felt romantic attraction until i met you! and now i will act exactly like any alloromantic person!” at the beginning? being in fandom spaces, i do see the occasional fic actually depicting an aspec identity (i say aspec her because aro is so rare that most of these examples i’ve seen have been acespec identities rather than arospec) but like 99% of the time, that’s written by someone who actually shares the identity. before you use our terms and identities to cover your ass when you erase us, consider not fucking doing that. consider listening to all aros and getting our thoughts and input. 

And last here is “but what about romance positive aros?” now i think most of what i’ve said previously can be applied here. the only thing i wanna add is, i think its very interesting that almost every time i see non aros depict aros, they always write them as very into romance, very open to be in romantic relationships, and very quiet about their aro identity. despite the character in canon not showing any of these traits. romance positive aros are good and important, but not every aro is romance positive. there’s quite a few of us that are romance repulsed, and alloros only depicting aros as super romance positive no matter what is suspicious to say the least. if an aro character is shown to be open to participating in romantic activities in canon then of course write them that way. but if an aro character is shown to be uninterested in, or even actively against romantic activities then respect that too.

so, to wrap up my thoughts in this ramble: please ask yourself why you want to ship aro characters so bad, because if the only reason is that amatonormativity has brainwashed you into not being able to write, or draw, or do anything with a character without them being in a romantic relationship, then you uhhh need to work on that, that’s honestly a writing/creative flaw imo. if you like the relationship dynamic between an aro character and another character, consider making them friends. friendship is not less powerful than romantic relationships. nobody is ever too old for the power of friendship trope. If you’re erasing an aro character’s identity because fuck aros, then fuck off somewhere far away from me and work on your bullshit. qprs, arospec identities, and romance positive aros are all very real, very important parts of the aro community, but please talk to other aros about them and actually make an effort to understand how these things work, dont just assume. And also don’t use these things as a way to erase aro identities and cover your ass if get called out. its disrespectful towards all aros.

The most important thing to do before writing or creating work with aro characters is to talk to aros, and not just the aros that agree with you. look up what a qpr actually is, learn how aros experience their arospec identities, talk to aros with multiple outlooks on romance. and if you can’t bring yourself to reach out, at least read through our own writings, whether that’s fiction, or informational posts, fuck, look through our memes if u wanna. Just please actually make an effort.

So, Can you ship aro characters? its complicated. look at trends in your fandom, question why you want to, and do research. Be an aro ally, listen to us. That’s really the most important thing.

[ur-favorite-queer-queen]

Internet Friends

For Maribat March day 4 theme internet friends

Master List

It was peaceful for once in the manor. Dick, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, and Babs were all in the living room doing their own thing. However peace cannot last forever and the silent atmosphere was interrupted by one Timothy Drake-Wayne. 

“Guys come check this out!” He exclaimed, his phone facing the others in the room. They all gathered around the phone, some more annoyed than others. On screen was a video and Tim hit play. 

It showed a girl with dark hair, blue eyes, and pale skin motioning for someone off screen to come over. There was music going on in the background and the girl was obviously getting impatient. The figure came on screen and they were all shocked to see it was Jason. Then at the top of the screen the words ‘Doing this trend with my overprotective best friend’ appeared and now they were very confused. Jason had never mentioned this girl before.

The music stopped and the girl repeated the lyrics “Look at my ass, look at my thighs” as she turned around. But before she could turn around Jason picked her up and carried her off screen before the video ended. 

“What was that?” Dick asked after a few seconds of silence. 

“It’s a trend on tik tok that girls usually do with their boyfriends, but in this case Jason and this girl are just best friends.” Steph answered. 

“How does Jason even know this girl?” Dick pointed out, asking the question that was on all of their minds. Unfortunately, no one, not even Tim, knew the answer. 

Cass then spoke up, “Watch more.” She grabbed Tim’s phone and played another video, however this time it was Jason holding the camera. He came over to the strange girl who looked to be baking something. She looked up at him weirdly, asking something that couldn’t be heard because of the audio playing, luckily they could read lips. 

‘What are you doing?�� She asked

Jason responded with ‘Just listen.’ 

She turned her attention to the camera as the lyrics “That’s my best friend, that’s my best friend” played. Jason was moving to the beat and that seemed to convince the girl to also move to the beat. The song continued with more lyrics playing “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my best friend”. Then suddenly the lyrics “I just fuck her her from time to time” played and the girl whipped out her spoon and started whacking him on the head with it. She was screaming ‘LIES’ just before the video cut out. 

This led to them going on a spree of watching their tik toks. Apparently this was their shared account and both of them had separate accounts they planned to look at later. An hour had passed of them just watching their tik toks before they stumbled upon an intriguing one. The caption was ‘You guys asked for it, so I’ll explain. This is going to be my side of the story.’

It showed Margot, as they had found out her name was, sitting on her bed recording herself painting her nails a blood red as she talked. 

“Ok so you guys have been asking for this for a while so here it is. How I met Jason part one. And Jason will also be doing his side of the story, just so you’re aware, watch that after this. But this also takes place after the whole ‘Hawkmoth and Lila Incident’ so if you haven’t watched that storytime on my personal account, you should probably go do that.” 

One look at each other and they knew they were gonna look at the story afterwards. It was getting too good to leave now.

“So a long time ago I had a venting account on Instagram. Now I had many venting accounts, all with different usernames, including Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, all that good stuff but Instagram is where I met Jason. I posted something about how death could never stop me because I had died by the hands of an akuma before but ladybug’s cure brought me back to life. But then later on in the post I said something about how if this one boy, you all know who he is, couldn’t take a hint then I would rather let death take me than bother living in this mortal realm. Jason ended up seeing the post since we were following each other at the time and DMed me. Now he said and I quote ‘Yo, my username at the time, if you need me to come and beat this guys ass I would be more than happy too. I would gladly let death claim me as well without your shit posts to relate to.’” 

She had tried to make her voice sound deeper and had stopped painting her nails so she could do air quotes. “Looking back on it now, that is such a Jason thing to say, but at the time I was pretty confused and mildly concerned. And time’s up, part two will be posted right now.” 

“Wait, what the heck is an akuma and ladybug’s cure and why did she die from it!?!?!” Dick shouted once the video ended. 

“Dick you don’t know what she’s talking about?” Babs asked in disbelief. 

“Tt, Grayson, and I thought you were one of the smart ones in this family.” Damian scoffed. 

“Does everyone here, but me, know what she's talking about?” Dick questioned, getting yes and nods from everyone in the room.

“Okay Dick,” Tim began, “This is gonna be pretty unbelievable and complicated so I’ll try to explain it as best I can in a short amount of time so we can finish her side of the story before dinner. So while I’m explaining don’t interrupt me.” 

He waited for Dick to nod his head before continuing. “There are jewelry called miraculous that house mini gods that grant powers to whoever has the jewelry. Each miraculous houses a different god thus a different power. Miraculous themselves, including the gods bound to them, are neutral so they can be used for good or evil depending on who wields them. 

Hawkmoth and Mayura used the butterfly and peacock miraculouses for evil purposes and were basically emotional terrorists to the people of Paris. Hawkmoth was able to send out a butterfly with magic to a person feeling negative emotions and manipulate them to do his bidding. These butterflies and villains created by the butterflies were called akumas. If you were or became an akuma you were akumatized. Mayura was able to send out a feather with magic that also used negative emotions to create a monster that aided the akuma. The feathers were called amuks and the monsters were called sentimonsters. 

That was when the heroes Ladybug and Chat Noir also came along and fought Hawkmoth. Ladybug had the ladybug miraculous which granted her the power of lucky charm and miraculous ladybug. Lucky charm gave her an item needed to defeat the akuma and miraculous ladybug reversed all the damage a fight caused. She also had the task of purifying the akuma, turning it back into a butterfly. Chat Noir had the black cat miraculous which granted the power of cataclysm, which made it so he could destroy anything he touched. The 2 worked as a team for around a year before they brought in other temporary heroes who are not that important. Eventually all their temp heroes’ identities were outed and they could no longer use them so they were back to square one. 

However many people noticed that Chat Noir was not taking his job as seriously, he began sitting out battles, flirting with ladybug while there was an akuma, and even getting civilians killed, relying too heavily on ladybug’s cure. We’re not exactly sure what happened, we assumed she snapped because one akuma attack Chat Noir was not there. Instead, there was a whole new team of miraculous wielders including Murder Hornet wielder of the bee miraculous who had the power venom which let her temporarily paralize her opponent, Red Illusion wielder of the fox miraculous who had the power mirage which let him create illusions, Peridot Protector wielder of the turtle miraculous who had the power shelter which allowed him to create indestructible shields, Medusa wielder of the snake miraculous who had the power second chance which allowed her to reset the time line as many times as needed to win the battle, Mustang wielder of the horse miraculous who had the power voyage which let him create portals, and a new black cat holder, Midnight. 

The team took 6 months to defeat Hawkmoth and Mayura, who turned out to be Gabriel Agreste and Natalie Sancour. The Justice League tried to recruit them but they all wanted to live normal lives. Ladybug still checks in every 3-6 months to reassure everyone she still has all the miraculous. I don’t blame them, especially Ladybug, for wanting a normal life. This whole thing started when they were around 13 and ended when they were around 17.”

Tim then clicked on part two of her story, not even waiting for Dick to recover from the huge information dump. 

It was the exact same place she was at in part one, and she was still painting her nails the same shade of blood red. “Okay guys part two of how Jason and I met. If you didn’t watch part one go watch then return to this one. So picking up where we left off I Dmed him back and we ended up having a very long conversation about murder, people not understanding the word no, and spineless cowards. This went on for quite a while of us just messaging each other and eventually we gave each other our emails and then phone numbers. I gave him my phone number just before I moved out of Paris. After like 6 months of texting we planned to meet up at some park in New York that was near the apartment I lived at at the time. Now in hindsight that was a very dumb move on my part so to all the kids watching don’t go meeting up with strangers you meet on the internet. Do as I say not as I did. I almost regretted my decision to meet up with him because he is intimidating as hell! He’s like over 6 foot tall, with muscles the size of my head! I honestly thought that I had put myself in a very bad situation but thankfully he was just as nice in real life like he was over text. We ended up hanging out a lot more and long story short we’re best friends!” 

It was at this point that she looked directly into the camera with a glare that could rival Batman’s, stating, “Literally just best friends to all the people who think shipping us is okay!” And just like that, it was gone, “Anyways see you guys next video, bye!” 

And with that the video ended and the Wayne children, minus Jason obviously, were left wondering how they missed the fact Jason had a female best friend. One where they declared their friendship on the internet nonetheless!

“Well that was certainly something.” Steph commented. 

“Yeah, who knew Jason could have a non hero friend that we didn’t know about.” Tim joked. 

“So are we gonna watch Jason’s part?” Dick asked. 

“I don’t think we have time for that, but we can watch it after dinner.” Tim suggested, “Alfred is probably on his way to get us right now.”

“Tt, what do we do now?” Damian questioned. 

It was then that Cass stole Tim’s phone and started to play a new tik tok. And it showed Margot trying to teach Jason how to do the WAP dance. They were never letting him hear the end of this.

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I am literally so sorry for that huge information dump with the miraculous. I did not expect to get that carried away while writing and by the time I realized it, it was too late and I had to post. Honestly because of how much I wrote I will probably use the miraculous holders names in a future fic, cause I’m lazy. :P Also if you wanna guess their identities feel free to! Anyways tomorrows prompt fic thing will be like a prequel for this one, it’s basically why Marinette now goes by Margot and why she lived/lives in New York. The prompt “Betrayal" will be connected to this as well. :)  Also sorry this was posted so late, I had things to do, that I still need to do...I hate procrastination

@maribatmarch-2k21

[jean-and-ali-liveblogs]

Jean:

The Return

Wonderful episode. From the very beginning you can feel it’s the finale, the atmosphere is getting thicker and more powerful. The special thing about this episode is how it starts off really calm, but at the same time there is an invisible layer of detectable fear over it.

Steven was spending time with Greg in really cool way, it was really cool, and it was fun to see Greg interact with Peedee. In fact, it’s shocking for me, Greg talking with Peedee doesn’t happen every day, usually it’s Steven talking with all those other people.

I am also happy about the fact that Greg is interested about how Steven is handling gem’s stuff. Asking if he is okay with it, if it’s not too much, it was very positive thing coming from Greg. I am glad that Greg can empathize with Steven, and try to feel what he feels and worry if Steven can handle it all. Gem stuff must be a bit overwhelming every now and then, it’s not easy stuff.

If you could only see my face when I saw Peridot ship. I don’t even know how exactly I looked, but I think I looked weird. I didn’t expect this kind of ship, shaped as a hand with pointed finger.

Don’t you think that the best slogans are the easiest ones? If we are going to evacuate people, then let’s not over complicate it and use easy slogan like “evacuate”.

The evacuation made a big impression on me. Steven taking the role of his mother in it. I am not mad at gems that they packed him up, even though you could think they don’t trust him and want to protect him. The worst moment of evacuation for me was when Peedee was holding onto the counter, not wanting to leave the place where he lives and works. That was terrible. And when Garnet said “We did everything we could”, that said everything, there was fear in that, everything, they were already missing Steven too. And then when Greg was driving with Steven. When Greg was talking about how Rose went against her own specie and how at the end she saved only handful of her closest friends. And the whole arguement between Greg as father and Steven who is his son, but also a half-gem, that was all amazing. In that scene I really felt how important Steven is to Greg and how lonely Greg is in this world of gems, where he only has Steven.

Jasper made a great impression on me. Very strong and powerful gem. I was surprised that she was looking for Rose Quartz, being not aware that she is dead! Jasper was really terrible. Having so much despise for gems, total despise. And I wonder who is Yellow Diamond, who is the one that Jasper answers to? And then that moment when Steven protects the gems…. God, that was beautiful. And I will never forget the way Jasper looked at Steven when she thought he is Rose.

And then, why did the second attack from the ship avoided Pearl? It was almost like if somebody did that on purpose? Like if somebody changed the trajectory. All I can’t think of is that was some invisible acting of Rose, a power of love or something, it was Rose somehow.

Jasper also surprised me by saying that even she was fighting against Rose, she still respected her tactics and strategies, and then she was extremely disappointed with how Rose looks like – thinking Steven is Rose – and treated “her” totally through the prism of how she looked like. On one hand respected her tactics but on the other seeing Rose as a kid made her so mad. It’s kinda shitty from her.

The first part of finale gets 8.5/10

Jailbreak

The second part of the finale was definitely better. It was just insane. I met two new gems, Ruby and Sapphire and that was amazing. They are so different from one another. Sapphire has amazing voice, it’s like a voice of love. I definitely liked Sapphire more than Ruby. Ruby has totally different character, but it’s amazing and beautiful how truly in love she is with Sapphire, even though she is so different than her. She would let herself be totally destroyed as long as Sapphire is okay. So much love!

Seeing Lapis at the beginning of the episode, with everything taken away from her, her freedom, any happiness, any hope… how she was kneeling there, talking with Steven, so reconciled with her fate. That all was awful. But it was sweet to see how much Ruby was worried about Sapphire.

But Garnet being a fusion is still not easy for me. I mean, I still need to get used to it! It’s still a lot to take in!

The song she sings will never leave my ears. Such lightness in the face of risk of death. I think I already wrote everything I wanted about it in the episode, but I am sure I will keep coming back to that song.

When it comes to the Cluster then I think maybe it’s some other Peridot’s ship that she left on Earth. And it’s just the name of it. That’s how I took it.

Did Lapis do a good thing? I don’t know, I can’t say if what she did was good or bad. She definitely did a bad thing for herself. Trapped herself. Protected gems by distorting the idea of fusion being based on trust and acceptance and used it against Jasper. Both Jasper and Lapis made a mockery out of fusion. And Jasper said that she thinks fusion is for weak gems, was she thinking that she was weak? Too weak to face Crystal Gems? Jasper wanted to cheat her fate and it backfired on her. What happened there was a true paranoia. Lapis just went and all by herself trapped herself, at the bottom of the ocean, and took Jasper with her. Did she really do it for gems or did she do it for herself? Did she sacrifice herself? Or did she do it out of wanting revenge? In my opinion Lapis wanted to take revenge on Jasper and just additionally give some temporary peace to gems, even if you can call what’s going to be now “a peace”. Honestly, Lapis surprised me, I didn’t expect that to happen.

The episode was phenomenal, and it’s getting 10/10, there is no other score to give. Do I have any theories as to what will happen next? Listen, I feel like from now a real rollercoaster is going to start, totally crazy stuff, I feel like next episodes are going to have so much emotions and new experiences that I will drop dead. I can’t wait to meet Yellow Diamond, and I really want to understand finally what’s all of this is really about. Who is that Diamond, what kind of person she is, how strong she must be that Jasper – who already seems really strong – is below her. I feel like in near future Steven will be forced to go to Homeworld, there won’t be any other way. Gems will need to return to their home. I wonder how Pearl would feel about that, how would her emotions be, what kind of memories she has. Because Pearl seemed to be really attached to Homeworld.

All of you lovely people, I would like to thank you for being here with me through the whole season. We are moving forward, more episodes and more adventures are waiting for me, I hope you are here to stay and follow my emotional growth.

Thank you, I love you all.

[noddytheornithopod]

5 for the ask meme?

(From here)

5 - Favorite Episode(s)? Hmm, this is interesting. I have a few that come to mind as favourites for various reasons. I love so many of them, but here’s what I consider major standouts.

Alone Together: This is just such a sweet episode, not really much else to say on it. I’m major Connverse trash. :V

Open Book: I really admire this episode because it has a message that is only growing MORE relevant with time. People are defining their relationships too much by what they do and don’t like in regards to specific media (a major feeling I have right now because of Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy’s Law and the increasingly mixed reaction of their crossover lol). If your friendship really matters, you will know it’s okay to have different opinions on a book, movie, show, etc. I mean, it even feels like the Steven Universe fandom forgets this so much, I can tell you I’ve made my share of mistakes with this.

Sworn to the Sword: This is the episode that made me realise what the show could truly be capable of. It’s just so dark and sinister, and I really appreciate how the show isn’t afraid to use its own core characters like Pearl as episode antagonists. Of course, as you’ll see in a bit, this episode is now even darker. :V But I mean, in the end it’s about Steven and Connie’s relationship and how close they’ve become, and also really brought to my attention the idea of how self sacrifice can be detrimental. It’s just so good. I see some people take issue with the end and while I can see why, I’m still fine with it personally. It’s also just so well done from a technical standpoint too, like seriously Do it for Her has to be one of my favourite examples of lyrical dissonance I’ve ever seen, and the visual storytelling is brilliant.

Log Date 7 15 2: Look, I NEEDED a Peridot episode on this list, okay? XD I adore her, and this episode is so funny and great. It also helps add to Peridot’s character to the point it made me wish I got to see this before It Could’ve Been Great. XD It’s also cool because it really shows how much Steven can sometimes miss and as a result us because we’re limited to his perspective.

Mr Greg: Nuff said. Okay but seriously, Steven Universe musical episode? Yes please. Steven Universe musical episode that has major development for Greg and Pearl? Even bigger yes please. Honestly, you can really tell they went all out here, and the level of effort and passion really shows. It’s Over, Isn’t It is of course the big standout song, but they’re all enjoyable, and I really like Both of You both as a song and as the episode’s climax.

Mindful Education: Yeah, another really adored one. When I was first watching it, I have to admit I wasn’t quite sure where it was going. Steven Universe’s slower pace than most cartoons does that sometimes. XD But then the final act came, and it all clicked for me. Steven is really starting to struggle now and question who Rose Quartz really is, and it’s getting to him a lot. It’s also another great episode showing just how supportive Steven and Connie are of each other, seriously I adore them. Also, Here Comes a Thought is one of the best songs if not THE best song in the show hands down, it’s such a powerful piece of music and listening to it really is able to help with things like anxiety and stuff (and I mean as someone with OCD and also being an Autistic person prone to intense emotions, it really is something that helps).

Onion Gang: What?????? Some random townie episode??? Boring filler, get out!!!!!! Okay to be serious, this is actually my favourite of the Beach City citizen based episodes. I always was hoping for an episode that really helped to make Onion sympathetic because to me he’s VERY Autistic coded (in a different way to characters like Pearl and Peridot that is) and as a result a lot of the stuff people say about him rubs me the wrong way. This episode was just really touching, we got to see more of Onion than we ever had seen before and it helps make him more sympathetic to those who aren’t a fan of him. Also seriously, the part where he cries at the end because he’s now alone again always hits me hard.

I Am My Mom: Oh gosh, this episode. It might even be THE favourite depending on my mood. The previous episodes built up the threat of Aquamarine and Topaz really well and they really did have quite a scary presence. But this episode, damn. It just really hits so hard. It’s already beginning at a low point, but it just gets even harder. Just as when Steven seemed to think he might begin to heal over his issues, Aquamarine shows up with Topaz and they completely botch everything. Topaz is great as someone intimidating and will ultimately remain loyal to her duty even if we discover she’s secretly really struggling and sympathetic, but I love Aquamarine BECAUSE she’s such a little shit. I mean, I even get the impression she’s not even fully into her job and just wants what comes out of it for her. Steven’s guilt gets to the better of him to the point where he basically just gives up and sacrifices himself, quite possibly the lowest point for him so far. It’s a DEVASTATING scene, especially seeing how everyone is reacting. Connie’s scream at the end completely breaks my heart because now she risks being alone again, it’s so sad. The next two arcs are really great because this episode is such a wham. Speaking of which…

The Wanted arc: It’s probably just because it’s fresher in my memory, but I love it all so much. Not only do we get major character growth for Lars (and he fucking dies… ouch), but we also have it made clear to us the known story about Pink Diamond doesn’t make sense. I am a little let down by Lars’ Head, which while still a good episode I did feel maybe wrapped things up a little too neatly since Steven had such a means to get home. I guess maybe I just feel they needed another revived being to help establish it more so that it felt less of a surprise and less convenient? Still though, the next arc makes it clear it’s not all so easy.

The Season 5 Connie/Steven arc: Another instance where every episode hits so brilliantly. For me the second half of the episodes are definitely the overall stronger ones, but seeing this fallout made sense even if it was still devastating. I guess it’s why I like Aquamarine so much: she was able to fuck so much up compared to previous antagonists. But yeah, not only is the Steven and Connie stuff really emotional and touching in the end, but I also love the Peridot stuff too. I was happy to see that they addressed the issues in her relationship with Lapis (something I think was discussed further on the SU podcast), but you still so bad for her. It also relit my interest in Amedot, Amethyst was just so caring even if she was rough at times. Also I really liked Sadie Killer, purely because it satisfied the anti-capitalist side of me (Working Dead is a pretty cool song too). Also… they even added depth to Kevin. FUCKING KEVIN. It was also amazing to see that Steven actually resorted to working with him to try and patch things up with Connie, but even that didn’t go as planned.

A Single Pale Rose: So not only did we get a creative way to learn more about, Pearl, we also get the biggest twist of the show so far. Like seriously, Rose being Pink Diamond is the best kind of twist. Not only was it heavily foreshadowed in the series and could be picked up by anyone willing to put the pieces together (I was a big fan of the theory myself because I felt it would fit into Rose’s character really well), but it’s also something that completely changes everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Everything is now so much more darker and complicated, and Rose is now only even more interesting as a character. And the best part is: apparently there’s even more we have to learn about Pink Diamond that will inform why Rose is such a complicated and tragic being.

Made of Honor: It’s fresh in my memory, but even so I still think this episode is worth mentioning. This Garnet arc is great, and Ruby and Sapphire marrrying is so sweet and satisfying and of course I mention this here because the wedding planning is a lot of fun, but I also loved how Bismuth was handled in this episode. Even if she only had one episode before this, she was still such a fully realised character, and I don’t blame people for feeling so passionate about her. Seeing her come to terms with everything was just really interesting to see.

[mercuriallycooperative]

One of my long belated Steven Universe rewatch/reaction posts! Wow, I really did have lotsa thoughts about “Alone at Sea”, I can see why this stalled other posts. Also, it’s really long. Again, below is reproduced the unedited text of that reaction two years ago, typos and all. Blast from the past, isn’t it? I’m in no way caught up, so for all I know all these Jasper and Lapis issues have all been tidily dealt with in the meanwhile. I keep seeing other spoilers floating around whenever I browse my dashboard, ehehe... Something about one of the old theories being proven super super legit and ‘it was the truth all a long’ and revalidating some of the early speculative fic? Well, anyway. I’ll get to know the truth in time, I suppose. For now:

“Rewatching Steven Universe: Summer of Steven Edition”

Featuring: More Things I wrote before I did the first week’s worth of episodes!

(I wrote this second, immediately after the one for Monster Reunion. These are being posted in order now, though, finally.)

Week 2/Episode 9 of Summer of Steven (Thurs, July 28)

Alone at Sea

After watching for the first time:

Well then. That happened.

As much as I absolutely adore Lapis Lazuli, I do honestly like the fact that she is upset about what she did in the past, is guilty about the drawing away the ocean and the breaking Greg’s leg and the keeping Jasper trapped in a toxic fusion. Because yeah, those are things that are serious and need attention.

Like, I generally get the impression that during Ocean Gem and the taking of the sea that whole bit was a lot of panic and she probably severely mis-estimated the durability and strength of Steven, Connie, and Greg, because none of the things she was firing at then would have likely killed a gem, maybe poofed them or detained them, and Lapis strikes me as the oh-shit-that-was-overkill-wasn’t-it type. And while an actual “Sorry” to those involved would probably be good, and at the moment I think Lapis is kinda eaten up inside about a load of stuff, I think it’s generally good that she- I think what I’m trying to say is it’s good to see that Lapis is aware about how her actions have affected people.

Okay but Jasper though. I really, really appreciate the show did go into the fact that Lapis was wrong about the Malachite thing, that she acknowledges that she was doing it just to take out her anger on someone she was in control of, who she could feel like she had a reason to kick. I think they probably could have made that a little- not clearer, but maybe impressed the gravity of that a little more, because it did seem a little brushed off and a little like blame was deflected from Lapis there. I think maybe this will be addressed more in the future, though, next time we see Jasper maybe. Because on one hand, Lapis, that was super not okay. But on the other hand-

I get the impression that Lapis was terrorized at least a little on the way to Earth with Jasper and Peridot. Peridot mentions it was her that did the interrogating of Lapis, and “interrogating” puts me on alert right there, but like. There was something about Lapis’ body language, as it relates to Jasper and Peridot and her time on the Homeworld ship that, both now and at the time, made me really uncomfortable. Like. I dunno, my thoughts on Jasper are super nondescript, but she definitely makes me nervous, and coupled with Lapis’ experience trapped in a mirror for 5000-odd years, It’s not unreasonable to think that that is a reason Lapis acted so destructively, self destructively, and seemingly disproportionately.

Not a reason that excuses trapping someone in a shared mindspace so that you both basically kill eachother every day for months and give you both even more trauma. But it all does hint at the sort of rushing-headlong-into-this-is-TOTALLY-A-GOOD-IDEA-RIGHT-oh-god hysteria of decisionmaking that is not born of maliciousness, exactly, not the calculated kind. Just. A lot of bad stuff that ends up hurting everyone around you.

So like, we definitely need to see Lapis deal more with what happened with Jasper, and I think the show could do with impressing the idea that what happened was Not Okay a little more strongly. Like, in a Lapis and Jasper episode of Too Far+Back to the Barn+Friend Ship in terms of real talk, when (I hope) Lapis and Jasper are eventually both on the Side of Steven and Co., maybe.

Now, re: Jasper herself. Holy crap, that was moderately disturbing. Like, I’m worried about her now. (Also, she’s definitely not on Neptune- but definitely well within finding-the-gems-again range. I predict seeing her again before the Summer is out...) Like, she definitely doesn’t have her shit together. And I think- I get the impression that it’s a really unhealthy combination of power-drunk from any of the times she wrested control of Malachite from Lapis for moments, plus the trauma of Lapis using her considerable mental discipline (re: being able to control her hydromancy so well and at such volume) to take out her pain and anger on Jasper.

At the same time- I don’t want to be excusing Jasper any more than I want to be excusing Lapis. Jasper, most recently, immediately turned to threaten Steven after Lapis refused to re-fuse. During Jailbreak, the whole let’s-dangle-Lapis-in-the-air-and-tell-her-”Fuse with me”-and-”Just say yes” set off a number of alarms, and in a meta-sense, given that the Crewniverse has been good about what vibe comes across as a precursor to what information, I’m really getting the feeling something was up there.

It’s just, we haven’t really seen much from Jasper. She’s a threat (an old general) because she was sent by Homeworld (the oldest enemy) and of course some of that (must be) is a product of Homeworld and what they are but the question (one of them) is how much we can say Homeworld has super brainwashed her- because like. With Peridot, we’re getting the impression she’s young. She’s said it- that she’s one of the new Peridots. Presumably fairly recent, after the Rebellion, during the reign of this New Homeworld. And a lot of her, her lack of scope, her loud, bouncing-around superiority and her everything-in-its-place, it may come from the Diamond she served under, but it’s as likely it comes from the Homeworld that she was created in. But Jasper? She’s of the Old Homeworld. The likes of which created Centipeetle and Lapis and so much has changed, we’re told, between the new and the old.

Lapis was trapped in the mirror. Time likely passed so strangely, for a trapped, cracked gem whose purpose was to be a seeing-glass. And Centipeetle was corrupted, her mind trapped in mazes and probably either some amount of pain or some amount of- of insensibility, of hazy dissociation, but living ages and ages on Earth. And the Crystal Gems of course had their post-war cleanup mission of the world, and all the little history contained therein.

They were all, bar Steven and Amethyst, born of old Homeworld and the fires of the Rebellion.

So was Jasper. And of course Jasper had the added something (I won’t say benefit nor will I say misfortune) of seeing Homeworld change before her eyes. The changes that so shocked Lapis were ones that Jasper likely experienced firsthand. Jasper is old enough to have been an adversary on (what seems to be fairly) even keel with Rose Quartz.

Honestly, while I think Jasper is certainly more complicated than The Big Bad Evil Gem and that she’s certainly not to blame for all the badness that’s been going down, not least of which I mean Lapis and the choices she’s made...

I think that it doesn’t give Jasper enough credit, to say “Oh well she’s a product of The System and as soon as we get a chance to say things to her she’ll be toast legit Cheetomom”. Like maybe there’s a whole lot Jasper just doesn’t have the context for because Homeworld sucks and has toxic messages fucking everywhere but like. Jasper still has her own agency. And as far as I can tell, she’s old enough (experienced enough) to know that, the same way Pearl (when she’s not flipping her shit) knows that, the same way Garnet and Lapis know that.

If we respect her at all, Jasper needs to get the same responsibility for her actions/behaviour/personality that all the other characters get shit for when they act mean, or coercive, or otherwise threatening.

We dissect every second of, say, Pearl’s behaviour, or Amethyst’s, or Lapis’, or (a little less) even Garnet’s and Steven’s. And we pick out their traumas and neuroses and pasts and biases and some of the internet screams YOU ARE SHIT FOREVER BECAUSE OF THIS and some of the internet screams YOU ARE A PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL WHO CAN DO NO WRONG but the other parts of the internet (of the SU side of Tumblr) are pretty careful about saying, “Okay you have a reason for this thing, and I get that, but it doesn’t excuse you for the thing, and so accept responsibility, and we’ll move on and love you still”.

Jasper should be treated likewise.

... okay so that descended into a rant about ~70% of my Jasper related thoughts. I’ll probably have more after I end up reading the contents of my dashboard since last night. I’ve totally lost track of the rest of the episode.

Time to rewatch it and pick out more interesting bits!

1) Lapis looks happier, at the beginning of the episode. I like the little bit about Steven reminding her to close her eyes, on account of the last time Lapis could totally see through her wings.

2) It’s interesting how Greg is still keeping himself so friendly, even as his introduction is an awkward you-broke-my-leg-that-one-time. It’s very much the same way he greeted Marty, actually- very cordial even though he was uncomfortable. Very much just being the bigger person, not to be superior, but just. Keeping everything friendly-like.

3) For that matter, regarding introductions, Lapis looks very awkward receiving that introduction- it looks to me like both the okay-I-was-not-expecting-that-introduction-that-was-weird-how-do-I-respond-to-this and the sheepish-kinda-guilty sort of awkward. This is how I interpret it, of course, but...

4) “It was more than one [bad experience” says Lapis, regarding her time at the bottom of the ocean with Jasper. I’m curious what she means by this. More than one bad experience, yes, but- more than one bad experience with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean? More than one with Jasper, including time on the hand ship? I might be forgetting something in the rush of new episodes, but, this seems interesting to me. Or was she referring, there was more than one bad aspect to her experiences as Malachite, both the damage Jasper did fighting her, and the damage Lapis did fighting Jasper, and, in that last one, the damage Lapis hints later at having done to herself in terms of becoming someone she doesn’t want to be?

5) “I don’t deserve this.” Lapis definitely knows she’s done some stuff that’s not on. And she’s had time enough to work through some of the things that’ve happened, and to her credit she’s being fairly open with Steven despite what I see as some very reticent tendencies.

6) Actually, those kind of make sense. Lapis spent over 5000 years in a mirror, as an object, meant for the express purpose of revealing personal information without her consent. Even used as a general information device- or perhaps it was only that Pearl assumed that was her purpose- that’s a long time with very little agency about how she could communicate with others. So long spent having to communicate what she doesn’t want to, unable to communicate what she does, and then shortly after her release being interrogated (in one way or another) by Homeworld, is it any wonder that Lapis wants to work things out for herself and not spill all her thoughts with others? Is it any wonder that she has a hard time doing so?

7) It’s interesting, Steven just brushes aside the “I don’t deserve this” with an “Of course you do!” I think that for a lot of Steven’s life, he was able to solve a lot of problems this way. And a lot of the time, that’s because the problems he was fixing, the personal ones, were because of personally directed aggression without anything to back it up- intrusive thoughts, the perpetual self-esteem gremlins that are made of unsureness and the ghosts of a thousand poisoned thoughts. It’s less common that he’s really had to deal with people who have seriously done a thing wrong some time where he hasn’t been around to see it- he saw Amethyst shapeshift into his mother, he say Pearl’s deception about Sardonyx, he saw Peridot working for Yellow Diamond, and so he can understand that sometimes things need working out. But Steven- he also sticks so staunchly with people, believes so firmly that people default to good- as with Lars, I think in some ways Steven is still naive. And recently, he’s been going through stuff that pushes him to work on that.

8) Who the hell names a boat the S.S. Misery?

9) I do appreciate that Lapis finds the name of the boat and their poor attempts to cover it with a moniker based on her own amusing. I appreciate a sense of humor like that.

10) “Don’t put me in charge!” “You shouldn’t trust me with the boat.” Again, picking through this episode I do see evidence that Lapis is working through a lot of guilt regarding her fusion with Jasper. I think she needs a talk with someone who’s not Steven- but I’m at a loss as to who would even remotely be a good person for that. Amethyst has a 50-50 chance of brushing it off like Steven or being legit serious about it, Pearl would commiserate and have a 50-50 chance of having a guilty-spiral party or giving some good advice, Peridot doesn’t have any of the fusion-related context for this and would likely brush off the whole thing, and Garnet would be great except there’s a 90 percent chance of something in the conversation being horribly upsetting to her, and a non-zero percent chance that Lapis would end up seriously on the shit list. Like. All together with an open dialogue, they’d likely get a good problem-solving issue-addressing dialogue going, but that’s always the case. And how often does that sort of conversation happen.

11) I just noticed Lapis hydromancing the orange juice in her champagne flute idly, and it’s great.

12) Also, actually, when Lapis answers “I’m not putting that on my body” all bluntly about the hat and Greg just takes it in stride, it occurs to me that he’s probably used to that exact reaction from Pearl about all sorts of human things.

13) While I think that Steven is really good at just- being a good balm for grief in the soul, making people a little happier, just for a bit, I think maybe the fact that he keeps interrupting Lapis whenever she starts reflecting is kind of a double ended spear. Like. I think she does need time to reflect and come to conclusions and start figuring out where she stands- as in Barn Mates where it’s pretty clear that she needs some space. On the other hand, it’s likely she’s been spending a lot of time since then brooding, so one day of lightness would probably do some good. Just. It has to be a day when Jasper shows up and the starts of the breach of all the issues floating around. Well, it had to be sooner or later I guess.

14) I honestly can’t tell if Lapis and Steven’s enjoyment of the boat’s foghorn is because it’s a loud, moderately obnoxious noise, or if it’s because it’s a loud, moderately obnoxious noise that’s kinda reminiscent of the humorously timed fart noises they bonded over.

15) Lapis just really wants to help and to impress Steven. Even if it’s in ways *cough* floating water sphere of fish *cough* that are moderately alarming. I think even as we delve deeper into the less pure-cinnamon-roll aspects of Lapis’ character, it’s important to remember that, regardless of the rest of things, the be-helpful/impress-Steven thing is a really big part of her personality now.

16) And, despite the control Lapis must have to do so much of what she hydromances, I think she kinda needs to work on the smoothly-putting-things-back part. Although given, I suspect that may sacrifice speed to some extent.

17) It’s interesting that Lapis quiets Steven when he’s about to start gushing over her powers again.

18) The description of how-to-fish seems very much like some sort of meta-commentary or subtextual information about the current state of affairs.

19) Also, the entire fishing part was just me waiting for something to trigger somebody’s wave of discomfort/trauma about something related for the catching/eating of the fish. Although actually, description of the fish-catching as a metaphorical construct aside, it occurs to me that gems who aren’t heavily human socialized (so, anyone not Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, or Steven) would probably not see have any immediate unsettled response to any flesh-ilfe-form’s blood and internal workings beyond “this is messy”. Like, they’d have no reason to have the awkward sympathetic discomfort that I think a lot of humans get about such things, because of course gems aren’t flesh-life-forms.

20) When the boat starts shaking, I love the fact that Lapis immediately asks Steven what’s going on, like, Yes Lapis the Boat Shaking is a Very Important Human Boating Ritual, Perfectly Normal. It’s great.

21) Okay so wait. There was trouble with something (presumably Jasper) fouling up the rudder somehow (I’m imagining her accidentally getting her hair caught in there to be honest) and that��s legit okay plot is happening. But like. The engine also gave out. Is that a that thing fouling up the rudder can even do, or did Greg just happen to rent a boat that would have a) possibly gotten someone with no gem powers at hand stranded in the middle of the ocean to maybe starve to death and b) stuttered to a stop possibly forcing awkward conversation and weirdness even if plot wasn’t happening around it?

22) “It’s my fault. I’m the one to blame.” For the boat breaking, Lapis? “I can’t stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.” Okay, that’s guilt, I’m getting, that’s guilt, and probably some pain of injury, and what were those two throwing at each other down their in their minds? For that matter- did Malachite the fusion have even any chance to form a mind for herself? (Maybe it would be better if she didn’t have.)

23) “But it’s not like that anymore,” says Steven. Oh god, I didn’t notice this the first time. That’s the same thing Peridot says when trying to make up with Lapis before she’s ready. And the same point applies here- maybe it isn’t like that anymore, but the past still matters, what’s happened to us and what we’ve done still matters. And I think that Steven, who forgives (people who aren’t Marty or Kevin or Jasper) so very easily, who loves and (almost always) lets go of bitterness (particularly recently as his powers have started working and he doesn’t have to be afraid of not having them) and who’s succeeded (often enough that he’s trusted to do his thing) so much that he assumes his way is the correct one, Steven doesn’t necessarily get so much that even when a thing is done, it takes more than a skip, a hop, and a song to make the past better.

24) “You don’t have to be with Jasper.” Steven, oh Steven. I don’t think that she ever really did. And Lapis knows that.

25) “That’s not it. I miss her.” It occurs to me that her time as Malachite is probably the longest time, the first time, she’s spent in a stable (by which I mean ‘not likely to randomly change without her input’) situation over which she had any control at all for the last 5000 years. Trapped in the mirror, she had no agency. As Homeworld’s/Jasper’s/Peridot’s prisoner, she had no agency. But as Malachite, Lapis was a driving force bolting them together; as long as she didn’t let go, she had a lot of the power. It isn’t an excuse and it certainly isn’t right, but, is it any wonder really that Lapis misses the certainty of a fight against someone she had a reason (and an excuse) to fight, the certainty of a fight that she, for a long time, was winning? “We were fused for so long...“ Longer than any fusion bar Garnet that we have any precedent about.

26) “But- she’s terrible!” Steven only knows Jasper as an enemy, who, you know, knocked him out and also poofed (killed part of his mind probably insists in nightmares) one of his mothers in front of him. And that was his first experience with her- even Peridot, with her robonoids and suchforth, left a more neutral impression (even if this was partially because it happened before Steven had much context at all for Homeworld and what an invasion might mean). Jasper’s alarmingness (see a few points down) and sudden let’s-attack-Steven from this episode probably did not help that impression at all. I think Jasper might be Steven’s next big hurdle of understanding-folks. I hope we get a Jasper redemption, but I also hope we see Steven’s processing the way he distrusts Jasper, and see him (hopefully) decide to give her the chance he’s given others.

26) “I’m terrible! I did horrible things- I broke your dad’s leg, I stole Earth’s ocean- Go on! Tell me I’m wrong!” Honestly, even without Jasper’s sudden appearance, I feel like this episode could have got a whole lot done. Like. This conversation with Steven and Lapis definitely needs to happen. As much as Lapis needs Steven’s optimism and love and brightness, she needs him to stop brushing what she did under the table, she wants him to stop brushing it under the table. It probably makes her feel like she’s deceiving him, like she’s hiding things from him in order to have his support. And Steven needs to stop brushing it under the table so he can better help Lapis, and for his own safety- not from Lapis but in general. This black-and-white view of good-bad, even heavily skewed toward white, could well have him walking into a situation that just needs him to leave it alone for a little, to address very real issues and dangers.

27) Jasper appears, and her expression is moderately alarming. Like, all that fan art of how Jasper smiling friendly-like is still alarming? That alarming, but moreso because in this context it makes her look... like she’s been upset somehow. Like, in the literal stirred around until her behaviour is all in odd order way.

28) Also, given the rest of the day, I’m wondering how much Lapis may be thinking am I hallucinating did my thinking about her so much summon her wait are we still trapped somewhere am I still trapped somewhere is this reality Steven do you see her too? or stuff like that.

29) Okay the Lapis flinching as Jasper approaches does lead me to think that Jasper did something at some unspecified time that made a large mark on Lapis’ Afraid-Of-This meter.

30) “She’s the one you should be afraid of.” Jasper, are you implying you are afraid of Lapis? And hiding it (working through it) because as an old general (an old soldier) you’re used to that much? Also, Jasper, even sharing space with Lapis for months hasn’t taught you that Steven is not his mother? (Then again, it could be deliberate stubbornness as a reaction to any point of view Lapis has...)

31) “That’s not true.” I think, what Lapis means it that Steven specifically has nothing to fear from her.

32) “I thought I was a brute. But you, you’re a monster.” What the hell happened down there guys. What the hell. (Also. Is Jasper meaning particularly things Lapis did to her, while keeping them trapped together? Or is Jasper meaning that she’s seen bits of memories of things Lapis has done in the long-past, before or during the war? During Lapis’ much obscured history.)

33) Okay, the hitting Steven so hard he goes flying (or, for that matter, at all) is just not on. Jasper, we know Lapis wronged you, but that’s not how you continue this dialogue. (On a meta level, with that move that is clearly not okay, is the Crewniverse trying to make two wrongs don’t make a right very, very clear? And also, for that matter, keep Jasper established as Not Yet Good At All but More Complicated Than You Think? There was that magic the gathering color identity tweet or post or whatever by someone of the Crewniverse who also said we’ll be seeing some of that Complicated later, so...)

34) Where is Greg during all this, how much does he see, how much does he hear?

35) “Let’s be Malachite again!” “Why... would you want that?” It’s really, really alarming actually to see Jasper in that position of supplication. Like. Holy shit. None of these kids are okay. And Lapis’ expression seems to put across the same what the fuck oh shit you’re not okay are you.

36) Jasper’s whole Fusion Is Great Now We Can Be Super Strong! Stronger Even That Either Of Us! is really rather disturbing when put into both the context of Homeworld and it’s gem experiments thing and its cross-gem-fusions-are-an-abomination-that-must-all-die thing and in the context of Garnet’s major issues with fusing just to be stronger.

37) But. “We could fly!” I can understand that. We only saw the short shot of them flying in battle against Alexandrite, but, is it possible that between trying to mentally kill the fuck out of each other, that Malachite (how much of her independently there ever was) or Jasper and Lapis just. Flew somewhere as fast as they could go, trying to escape themselves?

38) For that matter- obviously Malachite is a very literally toxic fusion (google malachite gemstone toxicity for more information on that fun symbolism). But in other cases, what’s the difference between fusing solely for power, and fusing because you become someone you enjoy being because you can do such wonderful things which include, yes, flying and being extremely strong? Isn’t that what Sugilite has been, when we’ve seen her? As long as all parties are cool with each other to begin with, seriously, where are we drawing the line?

39) The whole dialogue between Lapis and Jasper is just really, really twisted up. “It’ll be better this time! I’ve changed! You’ve changed me!” promises Jasper, who by Lapis’ own account was the one so much was being taken out on. It’s like. Two abuse narratives being twisted back around upon one another, compounding each other. Yeah... none of these people are okay.

40) “I’m the only one that can handle your kind of power!” It’s tugging at my memory, but I’ve heard this line before. Read it somewhere, in a situation like this... An old Xena fanfic, a Buffy fanfic? Whatever it was, it was not of the good, and both people involved were hurting eachother in exactly this way.

41) Okay so people keep giving Lapis shit about punching Jasper off the boat without apologizing or actually fixing any of their issues beyond airing them a bit, but might I just point out that Lapis punched Jasper off the boat and far away immediately after Jasper began charging Steven and shouting “I’ll shatter you!” ? Steven is still squishy and not at all up to any sort of combat with Jasper, and it is certainly not wrong for anybody’s first reaction to be Keep the threat away from Steven!

42) Is this a new ending song? Like, a new part of the ever-progressing ending song? Huh. Cool.

Well that got long. Lots of thoughts and conclusions. See you next time, folks.

[kerapace]

1600 words of me talking about Lapis and Peridot’s relationship

putting this under a readmore even though I’m really proud of most of the stuff in here, it’s kind of an omnibus of a lot of thoughts I’ve had about the series over the past few months. everything before the line break was a summary written before I watched the episode, everything past that was written during/after.

Before I begin, I think it's time to write something of a retrospective summary pf the Lapis and Peridot relationship. (I'm sure the two of them will reconcile in some capacity eventually, but what just happened also seems pretty definite.) For better or for worse, and despite the intentions of the people who wrote for it, it's doomed to be one of the more controversial bits of the show. It was a strange combination of great writing on a micro level between characters whose relationship, from a thematic perspective, was maddeningly underwritten.

That sounds a little mean, and I know not everyone would agree with me on that, so let me explain things a little. Here are some questions I think you could easily answer for almost any major character pairing in Steven Universe: "Why do these characters get along?", "Why might they come into conflict?", and "How do they resolve conflict?". For me, "Too Far" asked and answered all that for me about Amethyst and Peridot's relationship. But as for Lapis and Peridot, even after 5-6 episodes of prominent focus from "Beta" onwards, I never really felt like I got solid and mutually consistent answers. There was a gap, there, between "Barn Mates" and "Beta", that never entirely was bridged. The real issues at hand were being dodged, even or especially when Zuke was writing them as the OTP. I don't have a problem with cute shipping fluff, but Steven Universe has always made me expect a little more than just that.

Maybe this wouldn't have bugged me so much if Lapis and Peridot's relationship hadn't felt like it had to an extent taken over both characters. Some of this is just the fact that I prefer Amethyst and Peridot, but I think the argument scans even without an emphasis on those two. During the Peridot redemption arc, there was a bunch of serialized character development that showed her coming to appreciate all the main cast, and Log Date left us thinking that this was really just the beginning of many strong new relationships that would help define the show going forward. But... at some point during the long string of Lapis/Peridot episodes in Season 4, I realized that Log Date didn't really feel like the beginning of that anymore. It felt like the end.

Although I will admit I'm not the biggest fan of it, I want to say that there is definitely something to like about the two. Even if you grant Zuke nothing else, it's hard to deny that they don't have a talent for making romantic dialogue sparkle, and there are a lot of scenes of the two of them together that probably wouldn't have worked at all if they weren't written by someone clearly so invested in the pairing. The focus on their relationship was a little excessive from my view, but the couple episodes with a coherent message about the characters ("The New Crystal Gems", "Room for Ruby") stood out as highlights in a season whose quality had started to ebb and whose thematic progression had begun to stagnate.

But the thing about those episodes is that they were the ones that felt like they had an interest in who these characters were before they got to the barn, and where they might be going in the future. Where Zuke had a little more influence, it felt like the complexities of the two were being avoided for the sake of portraying a perfect relationship that was a little unbelievable. Judging from the fandom, quite a lot of people liked this decision! But during a lot of Season 4, I got the feeling that these characters were just not *allowed* to have any differences with each other, and that always left me with a sinking feeling when I thought too much about their relationship.

I say all this as leadup to something that would sound cruel if I said it with no prelude: in the conflict over these characters, I'm actually pretty glad Zuke lost. I wish them all the best luck-- in their psychological health and even their creative career if and when they feel stable enough to get back to it. But I think this development is necessary to make the relationship actually mean something in the broader context of the show, to tie it into the deeper issues that were always the real draw for me and I imagine many others. And when talking about this I'm referring to the cute meep-morp jokes and the goofy-as-hell scenes of the two of them yukking it up just as much as I am Lapis saying she's still not used to Earth. That kind of sickly-sweet cuteness means a lot more to me if it's tempered with something else, something more complicated, and I think even a lot of the diehard shippers would agree with me on that.

I'll leave off with something I wrote on my tumblr a while ago, about why I don't like the idea of Lapis and Peridot as this April-and-Andy style odd couple:

"I feel like it’s important to note that Lapis isn’t really like April Ludgate: she’s not a moody teen who accidentally falls into goofy domestic bliss just because she’s never entertained the idea of being sincere about life before. She’s moody because she’s been on the receiving end of a lot of crappy things, and she lashes out partially because she’s been hurt but also because that’s who she is. Sure, Lapis has always had a lighthearted side from as far back as her first episode, but her antisocial tendencies aren’t some shallow pubescent affectation and it doesn’t make sense for them to disappear just because she acquiesced to be Peridot’s roommate."

I'm glad to see this episode. There are so many little things in here that I've wanted to see from the show for over a year, and more impressively it puts them in a context that's really fair to everyone involved.

First, this makes it clear that Peridot still has important lessons to learn, and that her arc is definitely not over. While Peridot's redemption arc gave her a new lease on life and a handful of new friends, it also, in retrospect, wasn't 100% healthy for her. Remember Peridot during her redemption arc? She told Steven and the Crystal Gems that, hey, we might have to work together, but it's on my terms. I'm not going to put up with anything I feel that I don't deserve. The redemption arc trained her to treat others with the same respect, but it's also made her feel, well, that all that time she spent tied to a fencepost with a leash might've been good for her. It's introduced her to guilt, and that's been both good and bad. She's much more considerate now, but it's not hard to say that the Peridot of early season 3 might have been better off had she been a little pissier. How would the Peridot of "Catch and Release" have reacted to Lapis destroying her tape recorder? How would she have reacted to Amethyst trying to throw her tablet in the ocean? Don't you think she would've been a little better off that way?

I think Peridot's arc would ring false if she doesn't come full circle, at least a little bit. It's all gone on in the background, but since she was introduced, Peridot's probably struggled with guilt more than any main character other than Steven. It seems a little weird to associate her with this, given her huge, ironclad ego, but the truth is Peridot wasn't so much immune to guilt as alien to it, and so it took her over because she had no real natural resistance to it. It's honestly hit her pretty hard. She needs help to get over it and get her groove back.

(A little side note here: I think it's generally uncommented-upon that the Crystal Gems aren't all that healthy of a community. It's not that any of them are unremittingly toxic or anything, but they're tiny, and very insular. None of the gems would be even remotely prepared to go out and live their lives in the broader world, and nobody but Steven has many people that they could use as a sounding board. (Maybe Amethyst could crash at Vidalia's, but look at how long it took her to even consider reconnecting during the Week of Sardonyx. None of the gems really have a social safety-net, and this is going to become much more of a problem if more gems decide to settle on Earth.) Peridot doesn't have a community so much as she has a family-- regardless of what they do to her, she doesn't really feel like she has the option of letting them go, and that applies as much to Lapis as to anyone else.)

It also brings to the fore a lot of the weird things about the Lapis and Peridot relationship that made a significant minority of people uncomfortable, while still being fairly respectful towards everyone who loved it so much. Everyone who disliked the sudden characterization of Peridot as this lovestruck submissive in "Barn Mates", everyone who thought it weird that Lapis never really apologized to Peridot in that episode, everyone who wondered why Lapis felt like she was stagnating, all of them are suddenly vindicated as the show reveals that these feelings were part of the plan all along. It also makes it clear that, hey, these people still get along pretty dang well, and it meant something to both of them.

And, most impressive of all, it manages to make it clear that the Lapis of "Beta" and the Lapis that trapped Jasper under the sea are the same person in a way that isn't gratituously mean or out-of-character. Lapis's anger and abuse towards Jasper and her plan to live alone in space with Peridot are very different manifestations of the exact same tendency to isolate herself alone with someone else dependent upon her.

[regina-del-cielo]

Saint FFic Fest Slice of Life - A Girls’ Date

@saint-ffic-fest-blog

HERE I AM, BEING A GHASTLY AND OUTRAGEOUSLY LATE WRITER, BEGGING FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS.

I know, it’s been two abundant weeks since Show Day, but I basically wrote it during dead times between bouts of lab work, so yeah. It took me longer than expected to complete it. But I finally got a wrap around it, so here you have it!

UNIVERSE: ‘normal lives’ AU CHARACTER(S): Maeve O’ Fearghail (OC), Violate, Agatha (from The Lost Canvas)(Minos, Aiacos, Shaka, Rhadamanthys and Kanon are mentioned as conversation topics) MOMENT OF THE DAY AND/OR WEATHER: Afternoon, rainy TOPIC: girls talking. Just that. LENGTH: 2238 words  *CATEGORY: slice of life, friendship *PLOT SUMMARY: Maeve, Agatha and Violate bonded over being the girlfriends of very peculiar people. They love their boys, but sometimes they need ‘girl times’ just for themselves. This is one of those cases. Tea and small talk ensues. *OPTIONAL: Since this AU is set in Paris, the girls speak to each other in French - although for obvious reasons the story is in English. I put translations for non-English words at the end of the story, but since I don’t speak neither French nor Gaeilge, feel free to point out any grammar mistake I may have done by relying on online sources. Also, any information I got about tea flavours comes from Wikipedia.

Enjoy!

The roofs of Paris glistened from the spring rain, falling with a barely audible clicking and ticking over lamp posts, roads, bridges and trees. People walking on the pavements were half-hidden under their umbrellas, giving the impression of a complicated dance of palettes running in both directions, if seen from above.  People who’d been so unfortunate as to be caught by surprise by the light but insistent drizzle moved as fast as they could, taking refuge under the occasional archway or the passerby’s umbrella.

Maeve looked down with amusement at the antics of people on the roads from the wet windows of Violate’s flat, her arms folded over her chest, her hands gently resting over the soft wool of her cardigan. Her hair fell like a sunset coloured cape over her back, some locks twisted in a simple braid around the crown of her head to keep them out of the way. Noises from the outside arrived muffled at her ears, unlike the sound of water running in the shower and the slight clink of mugs touching each other from the kitchen. Despite the dreary colour of the sky, a massive blanket of whitish grey, she felt relaxed and at ease, as if no worry could ever touch her perfect good humour.

Her peridot green eyes moved towards the living room library, whose contents easily revealed the greatest interests of her host. Most of them were travelling guides or novels dedicated to exotic, far-away places – the guides, especially, were laden with notes and colourful post-its, signalling the particular relevance of a passage – a place or monument Violate had been particularly eager to visit, most probably. Maeve passed a finger on the sides of the volumes, reading the names written on them with mild curiosity: Thailand, Brazil, China...

The sound of a door opening made the redhead turn around, just in time to catch the eye of Violate, dressed in a comfy sweatshirt and yoga pants. Her hair, still a bit damp from the after-training shower she’d just taken, fell silkily over her back, as black as crow wings. The girl smiled, reaching up with a hand to pick up the straight locks in a high ponytail.

“I’m afraid my library is a bit lacking in material in comparison to the ones you’re used to...” She said, seeing what had attracted Maeve’s attention. Her guest was, after all, a self-proclaimed bookworm.

Maeve smiled back, shaking her head a bit. “Libraries speak for their owners, you know. And I’d rather see sparsely filled shelves where each book was clearly cherished than one full to the ceiling whose volumes have been left untouched for years. You obviously have some memories attached to these ones, otherwise they wouldn’t be so near at hand.”

Violate let a sighing laugh escape from her lips. Maeve’s capability of finding the right words to appease everyone was still surprising even after knowing her for two full years.

The shrill whistle of the water boiler reached them from the kitchen, alerting both girls that tea would soon be ready. They turned towards the door just in time to see Agatha’s heart-shaped face appear from behind it.

“I saw you’ve got Assam, Violate. I thought it would be fine for all of us.” The youngest girl said, showing Violate a tea box in her hand.

Maeve’s eyes widened with surprise. “You have Assam tea? Where did you buy it?! I’ve been looking for it for ages when I first moved here in Paris!” She marvelled, turning towards Violate.

“I have no idea, Shaka brought it the other day; I’ll ask him where he got it, if you want! I still have to try it myself; he told me, and I’m quoting, ‘that its strong flavour would certainly suit me quite well’, in his usual ‘Guru tone’, you know the one...” Violate said, shrugging her shoulders and putting imaginary inverted commas around Shaka’s words.

“When it feels like he’s professing a revealed truth?” Agatha chuckled, her emerald green eyes sparkling with amusement. All of them knew that the Indian young man had a tendency of making his sentences spoken with such finality that it seemed almost melodramatic, especially if he was talking about mundane things... like a tea flavour.

“I still don’t know how Aiacos can bear with him sometimes. When he starts prattling about chakras and the universe’s energy and all that stuff... he actually listens!” The Frenchwoman grumbled, shaking her head and moving to help Agatha with brewing tea.

“It’s probably due to their common background... they’re both Hinduists, aren’t they?” Maeve added, looking with interest at the tea bag box.

“Aiacos is. Shaka grew up as one, but from what I’ve gathered he went into Buddhism at some point.” Violate replied.

“In any case, he probably just meant that you’re going to like it since you’re more of a coffee person... Assam tea is pretty strong and rich.” Maeve said, watching as the hot water rapidly darkened to a luxurious brown. “I’m pretty used to it myself, since it’s the variety used for Irish Breakfast tea.”

“Well, in that case I’ll trust you.” Violate chuckled, reaching for the sugar jar on the counter. “Sugar for all?”

“One for me, please.” Agatha said, sending her mug towards Violate in a slow gesture.

“I’ll just take milk, thank you” Maeve replied, reaching for the fridge.

“Vraiment très Anglais!”, Violate smirked, her lips perking up even more when Maeve froze and turned to her with her eyes reduced to slits.

“I beg your pardon?” She asked, suddenly switching from French to a strongly Irish-lilted English.

Violate burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, I just love the face you make when someone calls you ‘English’! It’s hilarious!”

Maeve harrumphed, while Agatha started laughing too, mixing the sugar in her mug.

“Viole Gwenaëlle Ailedeigle, you have no shame!” The Irish girl said, eyes rolling before tending to her tea and making an exaggerated pout.

The drizzle had become a downpour in a matter of a few minutes. The raindrops pelting on the windows brought a thrumming background rhythm to the chatting trio inside the flat.

“I may not be English, but I truly understand why they say there’s nothing better than a hot cup of tea on a rainy day!” Agatha said, bending her slender legs over the couch, her bare feet crossed at the ankle. The long, flowy, aquamarine coloured skirt she was wearing perfectly complemented her olive skin.

“If it’s this flavour, maybe. Otherwise, long live scalding hot coffee!” Violate replied, finishing the last drops of her own.

“I honestly don’t get how you can drink it when it’s still boiling hot. Is your tongue made of iron?” Agatha said, looking with mild disbelief at her friend, who had drunk her tea without even blowing on it, while it was still smoking.

“Mais non, chérie. I’m just used to it. I’ve always liked my hot drinks really hot! Mon pére still can hardly believe it either!” She laughed, the contagious sound filling the living room.

“My sister is your opposite. When we make hot chocolate at home, she lets it cool down for ten minutes before drinking it! My mother and I joke a lot about it, since once it happened that she started sipping at it when we had already finished our own!” Maeve commented, chuckling. Her hands were clasped around the still-warm cup, her long fingers crossed at the tips.

“Now, that is too much, even for letting a beverage cool down enough!” Agatha said, her pretty nose wrinkling slightly at the thought. Even at the verge of twenty-one, she could still be mistaken for a teen, or even a child, thanks to her youthful traits. “She’d go along with Minos... you have no idea how many times it irked me like mad to see him basically let the tea leaves sediment into the cup’s bottom because he gets lost in thought or is too busy teasing me!”

“It’s a good thing he’s your boyfriend, and not mine.” Violate commented, rolling her eyes at the thought of how exasperating Minos could be. And she had both Shaka and Aiacos as lovers. “I, for one, would have glued those glasses to his ears years ago... does he still insist in not wearing them?”

Agatha sighed dramatically, nodding. “Yes. Even after having to physically stop him from banging his nose against a lamp post when we go out, he still won’t get it! The funny thing is, I tell him it’ll get worse if he doesn’t wear them now, and he just grumbles it off!”

Maeve chuckled. “At least since he met you he started actually wearing them sometimes, or so I’m told... Stubborn as hell, the both of them!”

“Both?” Agatha asked, her eyes rounding slightly in confusion.

“Yes, both of them. You see, Rhadamanthys is just as iron-set as Minos is, although for different things. When Kanon sparks his competitive side, he knows no reason!” Maeve replied, a smirk passing through her lips as she told them of that one time when she’d had to basically drag Rhadamanthys home from the swimming pool because he’d spent so much energy in competing against Kanon to see who could do most laps in less time he could hardly put one foot in front of the other...

Violate had fallen into raucous laughter around the middle of the tale, slipping further into the couch as if the cushions were swallowing her. Agatha could hardly keep her own giggles in check, her imagination bringing forward the image of the courteous, shy and yet imposing Rhadamanthys reduced to a tired puppy desperately leaning on his girlfriend for physical support... and Kanon, that rascal, who’d tried to keep his smirk on and even tease his friend, while he could barely walk straight himself!

“Those two are overgrown children, that’s what they are!” Violate finally wheezed, her chest heaving from the exertion. “And you have the patience to actually act maman around them?”

Maeve brought the mug to her lips with dainty grace, taking a sip before replying. “It is worth the effort, when the prize is having my boyfriend’s undivided attention...” She said, a mischievous golden glint flashing in her irises, laughter hidden in the curve of her eyebrows.

Agatha and Violate’s eyes met, emerald green astonishment meeting obsidian black bafflement, before they both protested quite loudly – “spare us the details, please!” “You minx!”

Maeve laughed at their antics, moving her hair to make it rest on the couch’s arm and not be crushed by her back. “It was my turn for  teasing, wasn’t it?”

“Fair enough” Agatha conceded, shrugging her shoulders and moving her chestnut brown ponytail aside.

“Still, beware of who hears you – that sentence could have brought Aiacos into a fit of curiosity, you know that?” Violate replied instead, her head tilted towards the redhead, an eyebrow raised in almost warning.

Both her guests groaned quite unladylikely, remembering how Aiacos was a bit too eager to share his amorous experiences with his friends – and far too eager in wanting to know about theirs down to the smallest detail, too. If looks could kill, Violate would have buried him multiple times during the course of their relationship.

“As if my flatmates weren’t enough already!  I still have to get payback from that time when they basically threw him on my bed when we weren’t together yet... worse than a síogaí, they are!” Maeve complained, rolling her eyes quite dramatically.

“Excuse me, what was that?” Agatha asked, face blank at the mysterious word that had appeared in the middle of Maeve’s sentence, its foreign sound almost clashing with the familiar lilt of French.

“Oh, sorry; I meant a pixie.” The older girl replied, sheepishly.

“Now that’s a story I’ve never heard a word about... do share!” Violate interjected, sitting straighter, a bright smirk on her rosy-cheeked face.

“What is it with you and other couples’ embarrassing stories as of late?” Maeve asked, an eyebrow raising with suspicion.

“I regale you daily with embarrassing stories from my personal répertoire, there would be nothing wrong in an equal exchange, don’t you think?” The Frenchwoman protested, sporting a fake pout that made her guests laugh heartily.

“If the boys could hear us now... I’m pretty sure Minos would throw a hissy fit at being exposed to public mockery like this!” Agatha giggled, her head bending to rest upon the cushion as she imagined her boyfriend doing just that – a rare sight, considering he usually opted for relentless and nerve-wracking teasing when somebody bothered him... or a complete silent treatment. Despite her words, the fondness in her voice was evident whenever she talked about him.

“Ah yes, because they think we don’t know about them doing the exact same thing about us in that dirty mouchoir they call a flat that they share?” Violate snarkily replied. “Minos and Aiacos are two gossipers of the worst species, I’m telling you!”

“Much to Rhadamanthys’ dismay, I may add!” Maeve joined the laughter, her mind rushing to the image of her own partner face palming with a suffering moan at his cousin’s and best friend’s antics.

As they fell into another round of light-hearted gossip and amusement, sunrays broke the mantle of clouds above them, making Paris sparkle like a dew-covered lily at sunrise. Somewhere in between the lazy Seine and the busy boulevards, an accordion played La Vie En Rose.

Translations:

Vraiment très Anglais: how very English (this one is loose and pretty much built up by me?)

Mais non, chérie: oh no, dear

Mon pére: my father

maman: mommy

síogaí: (Gaeilge) pixie, sprite.

répertoire: list

mouchoir: handkerchief (yes, the boys’ flat is REALLY small)

I suppose you all know La Vie En Rose, right? Anyway, there’s the link, ‘cause it’s always the right time to listen to it.