#hope everyone has a fabulous wednesday!

[allsassnoclass]

every time someone who i know from 5sos land follows my main blog i have a very strong ???????? reaction

[prettygoododds]

Thank you @shrekgogurt for the tag!

With the hockey fic finally finished and not looking over my shoulder anymore, I’ve been putting my efforts into my COBB fic and my “for fun” fic. Thank you @aristocratic-otter for betaing my for fun fic. I’ve looked forward to your feedback and it’s motivated me to write.

Having said all that, who’s ready for a little angsty Snobaz knight action?

“Lady Wellbelove, could I be so bold to ask for a token to give me luck today?” Baz asks Lady Wellbelove with a flirty smile.

To my surprise, she not only responds, but looks mildly interested in Baz’s request. A spark of jealousy ignites in my chest and my mind is screaming “why him?!”.

“Do you rely on luck, my Lord? Or skill?” She asks with a coy smile of her own.

“Both. As most men do,” he says.

“You don’t need luck if you have the skill,” I interrupt.

And we’ll stop there as it gets a bit spoilery after that.

Hope everyone has a fabulous Wednesday

Tags: @ic3-que3n @dohrnaira @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @artsyunderstudy

@imagineacoolusername @shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ionlydrinkhotwater @wellbelesbian

@rimeswithpurple @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla @blackberrysummerblog @nausikaaa

@supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife

@martsonmars @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @hushed-chorus @roomwithanopenfire @youarenevertooold

@noblecorgi

[blackberrysummerblog]

Happy Wednesday! I hope the holidays were restful and good to everyone, and that a merry Christmas was had by all who celebrate. It’s been such a busy few weeks, and especially with CORB and COC I wouldn’t be surprised if folks are burned out, but I’ll make a bunch of tags regardless—feel free to take a breather & ignore :)

I’m sharing a bit of the second chapter to @ghostpepperworld and my CORB collab, The Stars Light Our Path, under a cut for some fairly tame nudity.

“I forgot you legged types keep your reproductive organs out in the open,” he marvels, reaching down to further inspect himself.

It’s a credit to my upbringing that rather than swooning on the spot, I manage to keep my voice steady when I reply, “We do no such thing. We wear clothes, Simon.”

He eyes me mischievously, and takes an unsteady step forward. I brace my hands at his waist to keep him upright. “I’m not as long as you,” he says, sounding disappointed.

“I…you what?” Simon gestures with his hand, raising it up in the air toward the top of my head and then waving it over his own. “Oh! You’re not as tall as I am,” I correct. “You’re shorter. By about three inches.”

Here’s a link to the first chapter ICYMI; I really recommend at least scrolling to the end for the truly gorgeous artwork!

I hope everyone has a fabulous rest of the week! No-pressure tagging: @tender-ministrations , @larkral , @cutestkilla , @forabeatofadrum , @stardustasincocaine , @iamamythologicalcreature , @thewholelemon , @nightimedreamersworld , @valeffelees , @ic3-que3n , @nausikaaa , @aceumbrellaheroes , @artsyunderstudy , @youarenevertooold , @alleycat0306 , @c0nsumemy5oul , @orange-peony , @prettygoododds , @wellbelesbian , @asocialpessimist , @bookish-bogwitch , @supercutedinosaurs , @you-remind-me-of-the-babe , @hushed-chorus , @theotherhufflepuff , @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists , @aroace-genderfluid-sheep , @raenestee , @confused-bi-queer , @j-nipper-95 , @martsonmars , @ileadacharmedlife , @ionlydrinkhotwater , @ivelovedhimthroughworse , @aristocratic-otter , @letraspal , @imagineacoolusername , @facewithoutheart , @fatalfangirl , @rimeswithpurple and anybody I missed who would like to share! ❤️

[j-nipper-95]

WIP Wednesday (because it's still Wednesday somewhere!)

Thank you so much for the tags recently. Even if I've not been responding to them I've been reading what everyone has been working on and it continues to astound me just how wonderfully talented this fandom is. Keep being fabulous, each and every one of you!

Would it really be a WIPsday of mine if I ever posted on time in my timezone?

That's right folks, Trails is back! Edits are happening with the next chapter, which I'm hoping I'll be able to share soon. My team and I are working through edits for chapters about one a week at the moment. I may have to go to bi weekly posting though, as writing has slowed down on the newer chapters. But we shall see. The muses are fickle, and may return to me, one day.

A huge thank you has to go out to my beta team, my friend Zoë (who isn't on tumblr), @artsyunderstudy, @cutestkilla and @iamamythologicalcreature! I couldn't have got this fic back on track without you all!!

But for now, a snippet from the next chapter. Baz POV.

The knife is kicked from my grip and sent flying into the river by a heavy work boot and another crewman drops into the lifeboat. I lurch away, almost back to back with Simon, the crowbar digging into my shoulder. I grope behind me, drawing it from his braces. “Told you it’d come in handy,” Snow smirks. “We’ll have time for ‘told you so’s later.” “Promises,” he purrs. You have no idea, Snow. Crowbar raised over my head, I swing at the newest attacker over the central bench but he deftly steps back out of reach, ducking under my return swing. I cross the bench to keep him on the retreat. He whips his handgun up to shoot but I get a hand around the muzzle and shift his aim. The bullet clangs against the side of the ship and I copy Bunce’s earlier move with the crowbar. I slam it into the man’s wrist and he releases his grip on the gun. My own hand flies open at the impact but I don’t try to fumble for the gun. The splash it makes into the Thames is too faint to make out.  Both hands back on the crowbar I swing for the man’s jaw. The crewman ducks and lunges for my waist grabbing me and knocking me off my feet between the benches. I’m forced to drop the crowbar and shove his face back, thumbs searching for his eye sockets, anything to get him off of me. One of his meaty hands pins my wrist to the bottom of the boat, the other finding my throat.  “Baz!”  Shadows shift as Simon spins, now doubt raising the mattock to attack, but there’s a spray of something warm over me from the other direction. The crewman goes limp in my grip as warm blood trickles down my wrists and beneath my shirt sleeves. Something metal clatters to the floor of the boat as I throw the man’s limp body off of me, and see the wound to the side of his head. Penny’s face is ashen and flecked with the man’s blood. “Penelope Bunce,” I breathe. “Penny, the rope!” Simon’s hand is on my chest gripping my shirt a split second before Penny’s end of the boat drops as the rope snaps. Penny screams and grabs hold of the central bench as Simon helps me sit up. The crewman’s body flops forward and tumbles out of the boat.  “Simon,” Penny calls, pointing over our shoulders. I follow her stare and see the rope Simon had been cutting is almost sawn through as well. More crewmen are shouting above us, seemingly deciding not to bother climbing down the ropes anymore and instead just shoot us from the deck. Hammers cock. A call to take aim. Please, not like this. He doesn’t know how much I love him.

(No pressure) tags for Sunday: @artsyunderstudy @aristocratic-otter @bazzybelle @blackberrysummerblog @bookish-bogwitch @cattocavo @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cosmicalart @cutestkilla @dragoneggos @erzbethluna @ebbpettier @fatalfangirl @frjsti @henreyettah @hushed-chorus @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @krisrix @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @nightimedreamersworld @orange-peony @prettylightsbigcity @palimpsessed @phoxphyre @raenestee @shrekgogurt @skeedelvee @stardustasincocaine @subparselkie @that-disabled-princess @theearlgreymage @wellbelesbian @you-remind-me-of-the-babe 

[echelonhq]

she's baaaack ... for the day, at least !! i'll be away for the weekend so i figured i would hop on for a quick overhaul before i leave. hope everyone has had a fabulous time with our first event, though it has now come to a close. please feel free to continue all current threads, our next plot drop will be posted next wednesday. until then, i figured we would go for an interest check since august is the busiest month of the summer for quite a lot of us !! in saying such, please like this post if you are still interested in writing with us, otherwise you will be unfollowed.

[nooneworthasking]

Am I the only one that would love for Gwendoline Christie to play Lady Dimitrescu in a live-action resident evil village adaptation focused on her life and how she became one of the four lords of the village? I mean, Christie has the height, elegance, and beauty to bring such a fabulous character to life. I hope she comes back on Wednesday, season 2. 

It is possible since we do not know what power she had. Everyone at Nevermore had an ability of some sort besides Thornhill. There were fangs, furs, stoners, and scales. I have a feeling that Weems was either a fang or a scale. I cannot imagine her not having an ability when she is the head mistress to a school of young hormonal adults with abilities. 

*EDIT I just realized that Weems did have a power she was a shapeshifter. Which completely dismantles the last part of my second paragraph. However, that is even more reason she should be alive... 

[theearlgreymage]

Things I am fabulous at : working on a million WIPS

Things I am terrible at : actually uploading progress on my WIPS 

My poor Infinity In Your Chest Pocket was forced to the back burner these last two months, but I’m hoping to finish up this current chapter soon and get back into a regular posting schedule for it. 

Thank you to everyone that keeps tagging me in Six Sentence Sundays and WIPs Wednesdays - I do appreciate it. And it does encourage me to keep writing when I’ve had a rough day. (Writing makes me genuinely happy, and I need to do things that make me happy more.) 

So, have 7 (whoops, I can’t count - it’s why I don’t teach math) sentences of a pining Baz watching Simon eat pancakes in his bedroom. 

He has absolutely no table manners – just shoveling the food in his mouth. I want to shove my tongue in his mouth. To lick the syrup from the back of his teeth and get lost in him. 

The thought isn’t unusual for me. I spend a concerning amount of both my waking and sleeping hours thinking of Simon Snow. Fantasizing about all of the ways he’ll never touch me. It’s probably unhealthy - letting my thoughts run rampant all the time, but if it’s all I’m ever going to get I have to take it. 

Tags under the cut

Show us your lovely works! @ileadacharmedlife @hushed-chorus @nausikaaa @whogaveyoupermission @aristocratic-otter @palimpsessed @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @shrekgogurt @ic3-que3n @ivelovedhimthroughworse @onepintobean @martsonmars @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @johnwgrey @artsyunderstudy @stardustasincocaine @confused-bi-queer @bazzybelle @ionlydrinkhotwater @bookish-bogwitch @yellobb

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day (green tea!) Welcome to the weekend!

Wow! Here we are again: Friday! Where did that week go? No, seriously, where did that week go?

First of all, many thanks to everyone that got involved with Throwback Thursday on my page. Yesterday’s word was INCOMPETENT and I know incompetence is something that drives us all mad. The Trouble will tell you, I shout it out loud, “Where do they find these people?” The other thing I forgot to mention yesterday is nepotism. In answer to my question, “Where do they find these people?” They’re probably – in some way – related to the boss or a current employee. And you know what happens when Junior gets the job? He’s on cruise control 24/7 because Daddy will always bail him out! God knows how some people get their jobs! We won’t even go there but – whisper it quietly – it is possible to sleep your way into a good job!

Had an enjoyable Thursday night at John Saunderson’s autumn networking event. Always lovely to see the glamourous ladies and the old skool geezers of the music industry. I go to these events to hear some stories and hear some gossip, and this function never disappoints. Took a whole pile of selfies, of course! When they see me arrive with mobile phone in hand, they get ready for the inevitable.

REMEMBER: Winter is coming! The clocks go back one hour at 2.00 a.m. on Sunday, October 29th. Your Saturday night will run: midnight - 1.00 a.m. – 1.00 a.m. – 2.00 a.m.

The Q3 RAJAR (Radio Joint Audience Research) figures are out and Mi-Soul has attained a nice little increase upwards! Many thanks to all our faithful and loyal listeners! The consistency of our presenters and the quality of our live events must be applauded. Whether it’s a radio show or a function, you always know what you’re going to get; the guys and girls always deliver. But, of course, our listeners make the station what it is. Full stop. You guys are amazing and you already know this because I tell you every day.

Really hope you can join me tomorrow at 1.00 p.m. for ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’: The Letter R (Part Eight). What a cracking letter it is! One more week of The Letter R, then a two-hour special on November 11, then the start of the biggest letter in the musical alphabet. Hellen Andrea Stavrou has built The Letter S (Pt. 1) and it will knock your socks off! Kerry McMilne is waiting in the wings to do Part Two.

Finally, the story of The Trouble’s keys. Couldn’t find them on Sunday, lots of bitching and moaning, couldn’t find them on Monday, more bitching and moaning, couldn’t find them on Tuesday, couldn’t find them on Wednesday. I was having to let myself out and post my front door keys through the letter box, so she could leave the house. “This is starting to get on my nerves!” she said on Thursday evening. “What have you done with my keys?” I knew I didn’t have her bloody keys! “Right,” I said, “let’s go through the series of events on Saturday.” Finally, she looked in the handbag she’d been using on Saturday and – lo and behold – what did she find? The words that came out of my mouth are not words I choose to repeat this morning but I’ll give you a clue. “FFS!”

Have a fabulous and funky Friday! I love you all. You’re probably thinking, “You don’t even know me!” but, if people can hate for no reason, why can’t I love?

[iloveheartlandx]

Top Ten Tuesday #441

Hi everyone! I hope you’ve all had a good week since my last TTT, mine has been once again, reasonably busy and as per usual, filled with theatre and books! As I mentioned in my last post, I went to Tina with my parents on Wednesday, and it was great. I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite thing I’ve seen this year, it lagged a little in places especially in the first act, but the cast was fabulous,…

[ventureswithbooks]

“To the people who look at the stars and wish, Rhys." Rhys clinked his glass against mine. “To the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered.” - A Court of Mist and Fury . . 🌟QOTD: have you hit any milestones or big achievements lately? . . Hello friends and happy Wednesday!! This is going to be my last post until next Monday because I’m on my way to Nashville for my brother’s wedding!! I am so so excited!! I also cannot believe that this is my 1,000 post!!! I’m still in shock over this and cannot believe how far I’ve come in the last couple of years. I definitely couldn’t have done it without all of you and some of the absolutely amazing friends I’ve made in the community!! I hope everyone has a fabulous day!! . . #ReadGushApr22 - Water lily: book with an ocean setting #AuroraCycleApril22 - Starslayer: powerful villains #SpringReadingPhotoChallenge - A book you relate to the most #AlltheBooksApr22 - rainy day reads . . #acourtofmistandfury #acourtofthornsandroses #sarahjmaas #atouchofmagicdesigns #sjm #bloomsbury #creativebookstagram #booksandflowers #booktography #booknerdigan #readingcommunity #bookhoarder #booknook #yabookstagram #readersgonnaread #toberead #allthebooks #readinggoals #booksaremagic #bookblogging #bookstagramfeatures #yafantasy #shelfie #bookporn #booksarelife #rainbowbookshelf https://www.instagram.com/p/CcBo8IBLTli/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[swaps55]

Thought on the Crucible and the Catalyst

Now, forget the fact that it’s a MacGuffin Win Device, which is disappointing in and of itself, but this is a video game, and we’re fighting giant Cthulhu monsters, so, okay fine, we have a giant win button. 

Let’s consider the absolute lunacy behind the Crucible.

No dying cycle ever would have built this.

Look at the size of that fucking thing. And the Alliance spearheaded it with the help of all the alien races, early in the war when we had access to the Citadel, the relays were open, and supply chains were not completely fucked. Under the best of conditions, this probably takes a decade to build, and obviously this is not the best of conditions. Hell, I work in the design industry, and designing and building a parking structure takes more than a year, and that’s a facility usually less than 500,000 square feet.

Oh, and let’s throw in that the plans are alien. Not just alien, but re-transcribed from alien to alien in cycle after cycle. May I submit this fabulous Headcanon Wednesday gem as evidence that it’s complicated enough working with another alien species who is currently alive and accessible. Now imagine trying to decipher plans that have to be the equivalent of back-of-napkin scribbles in a few dozen alien languages that no one has a Rosetta stone for. I’m betting that if previous cycles even had the next cycle in mind, in their death throes they weren’t exactly polishing a final construction document package for the archives.

So, given that every other cycle lost the Citadel and their seat of government on day one of the invasion, and the relays were shut down, crippling interstellar travel and trade and making interstellar cooperation nigh impossible, how, in the name of all that is holy, did anyone even have the ability to try and build it??

And that’s not even the most insane part.

The most insane part, you ask? The catalyst.

Let’s refresh.

What is the reaper’s winning formula that guaranteed victory in every single cycle until this one?

Taking the Citadel.

They enter the galaxy through the Citadel, take control of it, kill everyone on board, and lock down the relays, crippling travel and communication across the galaxy.

What is the catalyst, aka, the key component of the Crucible?

The Citadel.

By the time every. Single. Cycle. Started to build the Crucible, what did they not have access to? The Citadel.

Why. In fucks’ name. Would you build a device. That is dependent on a battery you have no hope of accessing?

Answer? You wouldn’t. Because that’s utter lunacy, even to a race literally facing extinction.

The entire premise behind the Crucible and the Catalyst is complete bullshit, and yes, I’m still mad about it. 

[gucciwins]

Into You

Breakup’s bring heartache but they also bring a new beginning.

Word Count: 8658

A/N: Angst, it was fun to write. Honestly, I really loved this ending. I struggle with endings but this felt like the perfect one. Relationships take work and no communication can ruin that. Remember to love and to trust. I love you 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Julia: Dinner at 7 Cafe Habana

Julia: He won't be there

You sigh at the sight of the second message. It's pathetic that your friends have to let you know, but you don't want to run right into him. It is the last thing you need but the thing you want most. 

Pathetic. 

Y/N: I'll be there x 

You look at the text you sent and sign grateful for her reaching out. You haven't seen your friends in a few weeks, and it's been months since you've been to your favorite restaurant. Everyone knows how hard it's been since the breakup. They aren't choosing sides, but sharing a lot of the same friends is hard. You live in the city, and he's always on the road, it's only fair he gets to go out with them because you know you'll have other opportunities. 

You wore a comfortable sundress and black flats, not wanting to drive in heels. A gold bracelet on your wrist, fingers bear no rings like you usually did. A ring tan sitting on your right index finger makes your eyes foggy, but you shake the thought away and enjoy the ride down PCH window down the ocean breeze coursing through your hair. Joni Mitchell on blast to overpower your thoughts of memories connected to this exact drive you're making. 

Walking in, you take a deep breath and smile as soon as you open the door. The smile drops instantly when you see who's sitting two seats away from Julia right next to Jeff. Brown curls and a broad back. Tattoo's on display. You see her mouth an apology and lifts her phone. You walk out without a second thought, hoping they didn't see you. 

Your phone rings once you're back in your car. It's Julia, so you answer.

"Hey babe, I didn't know I swear. He walked in with Jeff talking about how he was here for the weekend then going back home to London." 

"It's fine, toots." You sigh. 

"Are you doing okay?" She asks voice a bit low.

You're trying to choke back your tears, but it's hard. It's hard because he's so close yet so far. He seems fine, perfect even, and here you are crying in your car like a loser. 

"It hurts, and it hurts to know he's fine. He's not hurting like I am. I miss-" You cut yourself off as you feel your tears falling down like a waterfall. "I want the pain to pass." 

"Sweetie, do you want me to meet you at your apartment?" 

"No, just let them know my sister called me and that it was a family emergency, but everything is fine. I'm going to head to her house for the weekend. Hug, my nephews. Stuff my face in cupcakes." 

"As long as you promise to bring me one." 

You laugh for the first time in what feels like forever. "That I can do." 

"Next Saturday, Alex's birthday. Say you'll show up for him." 

"I'm there. Got his gift all wrapped up." 

"You're not alone." She reminds you. "Despite all you think, you're still our friend." 

"Thank you. I love you, toots." 

You know breakups are never easy, but this one flipped your entire world upside down. You're not sure what's up or down, left or right. All you know is you gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The music is loud. It hurts your head, and you can't hear yourself think.

It's perfect. 

It's been so long since you allowed yourself to go out and drink. A party with friends is a guaranteed good time.

You decided to dress up. The way you dress is an excellent way to hide your emotions or so you've been told. A black dress, your favorite black dress. The little back dress that every woman is supposed to own. You paired it with red heels your sister gifted you two Christmas ago. Makeup was simple, but you did go with a bold red lip. It always made you feel more confident. 

You're three shots in when you hear a voice behind you. You ignore it at first but turn around when they say your name. 

"Jake?" 

"In the flesh." He jokes.

"Oh my gosh!" You bring him in a hug before pulling back to get a good look at him. "I didn't know you were in town. Do you know Alex?"

"No, his sister is my girlfriend." 

Your eyes widen. "No, we talk once a week, and you've never mentioned the girlfriend. Since when?" You punch his shoulder. 

"We've been together close to eight months now." A big grin on his face.

"My best friend is all grown up. Committed relationship, met the family, next is moving in or baby if you're following your dad's footsteps." You tease.

"No, baby, but we are moving in together. My lease in Seattle is up, and she has hers for another year."

"I'm happy for you." You place a hand on his forearm, letting it rest there. "She's amazing, and we get along so well. It's perfect." 

He nods, and you keep chatting as if no time has passed. It's comfortable with Jake, he's been your best friend since childhood, and although your sister thought you'd end up together, it just didn't work. You kissed once, and it was like kissing a wall. It's a sibling love, one that will never fade. 

He clears his throat, causing you to look at him. "I heard about," You cut him off before he can continue.

"Think everyone has, but I'm good. I won't lie and say I've been fine because I haven't been, but I'm getting better." You tell him truthfully. 

"Was it bad?" 

You run a hand through your hair. "Awful. No yelling, we never liked to yell just lots of crying. I did the crying, and he did the heartbreaking." 

He nods and hands you another shot that you accept happily. 

"I was so lost the first week that I thought about moving from the state, the country." You laugh at the thought now. "But here is home, at least for now." 

"Have you seen him? I know he always disliked me."

"That is true, could never get him to see you were just Jess to my Cece." 

"Obviously, I was Cece." He fakes a hair flip.

"Well, of course, all I do is go home and break out singing to any song."

"Never change, buttercup." He kisses your head and then tenses up. 

"Think I'd be six feet under if laser eyes existed." 

"What makes you say that." You go to turn around, but he doesn't let you. 

"He's at a table with Alex. Drink in hand, looking our way, and he doesn't look happy. Do you think he's going to march this way?" His hold tight on you.

You groan and lay your head on his chest. "If he made eye contact with you, then yes, he'll be over soon, so that means you got to go find your girlfriend, and I need the bartender's attention." 

"Always a phone call away. We leave on Friday, dinner Wednesday." Jake walks away and quickly finds Annie. He whispers in her ear, and she looks your way. A big smile on her face and you blow her a kiss. She grabs it and stuffs it in her boobs. Annie's a weird one, but she's the best. 

Knowing he's watching you makes you uncomfortable. He wasn't supposed to be here, this was your night, and now you just want to cry, don't even care about drinking anymore. 

You walk out to the balcony and smile at the sight of the moon. LA doesn't allow much stargazing, but the moon always shines bright. Now would be a perfect time for a smoke, except you don't do that. Always were miss goody-two-shoes.

"Nice night." His voice interrupts your thoughts. "A bit chilly for Los Angeles." The deep, smooth voice sends chills down your body, not the weather.

"Weather is always unpredictable here." You mutter.

"How you've been," Harry asks, stepping closer. 

"Fabulous." 

Sarcastic answer. How typical of you. 

"I haven't been that good either." 

You're close to tears. "What do you want, Harry?"

"I wanted to check on you. Haven't seen you at any gathering of our friends." He twists his H ring, keeping his hands busy. "Bit worried." 

"They're your friends, don't get no right going anymore." 

Harry's three steps away. "Not true, everyone in there cares for you. Just because we-" He stops.

He can't even say it. He broke up with you, and he can't even say it. 

"They all love you."

"Yeah, well, I wish I loved myself." 

Harry flinches as if you've slapped him. The words hurt him, but not as much as they hurt you. 

"Don't say that, love." 

You turn to him. "I'm sure you want to be friends, and that's great, but I can't now." You let your tears run down your face, not caring that he can see. "I love you, and I was sure you were it for me, but I can't stand being around you without wanting your arms around me. I can't see you talk to everyone yet, not talk to me, but most importantly, I hate that I don't get to be the one going home with you anymore." 

Harry remains quiet. Green eyes are filled with tears. 

"You have to understand." 

"No" You step close to him, heart close to beating out of your chest. "You have to understand that you destroyed us for your career. To benefit yourself, not caring what you broke along the way. It's been one month, and all I can think is that I'm not good enough for Harry Styles, the rockstar. No, he needs another famous person on his arm, not an elementary school teacher who doesn't own a pair of Gucci shoes."

"Please let me," Harry's voice cracks.

"A year. Twelve months. 365 days. All for what, all for nothing. "I love you," and "we'll have a small wedding." It was all a lie. I was just kept around for fun while you took a break from touring. Maybe I'll be good enough to write a song about."

"You don't get to do that." He cries.

"Why not!" You tell. "You broke up with me with no warning out of the blue. We had sex on the kitchen counter, and fourteen hours later, you broke my heart." You have so much sadness and anger, and you know you're close to drowning. "I had no choice but to let you go, but for all I know, you've let go of me weeks before." 

"I don't know what to say." 

"You're not the man I thought you were." You walk away from the hand on the door. Your back to him, his shoulders are shaking in sobs. "That's the most disappointing thing, you lost yourself in the industry now you're just one of them." 

You walk out and catch Julia's eyes. She goes to step forward but stops herself when she sees you shake your head no. You can name everyone in that room, but you know that at the end of the day they'll pick Harry. 

It hurts, but all one can do is pick themselves up and move on.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The days go by slow, but Summer has finally arrived. The California heat is only rising, but it’s a cooler day, and you're at the beach when you look over at your sister laughing as her husband splashes her with water. 

Your stomach twists in the worst ways possible, you're jealous and green isn't a good color. You've spent most of the time caring for your two nephews seeing as your sister and husband worked not that you minded you did have the summer off. 

It's been four months since the breakup, and some days it feels like it was yesterday. The pain comes crashing back when you wake up and stretch your hand out to touch him but tense up because you know when you open your eyes, he won't be there. 

Malibu beach is not a place you've frequented, but little Ty asked for this specifically, and none of you never learned how to tell him no. 

You close your book and grab your phone from the bottom of the bag. Slip your hoodie over your head, the breeze picking it up, and adjust your black shorts. You signal to Tess that you're going for a walk and that you have her phone. She sends a thumbs up. There you go on a walk with your back towards the sun. 

It's funny, before dating Harry you walked the beach every Sunday on your own. Enjoying the laugh of families and the seagulls flying high. Then he joined you and together hand in hand, you'd walk down talking and sometimes just taking in the silence allowing the waves to do all the talking for you. Towards the end, he'd convince you to stay in and cuddle him, and beach Sunday became cuddle Sundays. You can’t remember a time you did go on a walk alone again when you were with him. 

In the end, you lost both. Lost Harry and lost the love of the ocean because of the painful memories tied to it. With time you must remember the things lost and changed, but this is something you're reclaiming. Routine is constant and good. It gives stability and strength. 

"Sweetie," you hear someone yell but keep on walking. It's probably a child going in too deep. 

You stop when you hear your name being yelled and turn expecting to see Tess but instead are met with kind blue eyes. A sincere smile on her face. It's Anne. 

"Oh dear, thought it was you." She says. 

"Hi, Anne." You say a bright look of surprise on your face. 

Anne steps in close and puts her arms around you in a big hug. A mother's embrace is one you've longed for and will continue to long for the rest of your life. Anne treated you as a daughter from the moment you met, and that's something you're sad to have lost. 

"You look so tan, how long have you been in town?" You ask, admiring her as you pull away. 

"A week. Came down to visit Harry." She offers a small smile at the name of her son.

"That's great. Summer's a good time to enjoy the ocean here." Anne nods, agreeing. "How were you able to spot me?" You ask genuinely surprised she was able to do so. 

"I'd recognize you anywhere. The yellow jumper helped."

You look down and chuckle. "It does shout "look at me."" 

You stand there a few more seconds looking around nervous to ask her to join you, but you really liked her company, and as much as you like being alone now was not the time.

"I was just walking down, would you like to join me?" You look down at your toes afraid she'd say no. 

"Oh, yes, my dear. Sounds fantastic." 

She takes a step forward, and off you go. It's quiet, not the uncomfortable kind, but allows you to get lost in your own thoughts with no pressure of not starting a conversation. Your thoughts are calm, it might be the ocean or Anne, but you're grateful. Losing Harry wasn't just losing him, it was losing everyone that he introduced you to. You were friends for over a year before you started to date. You met Anne a month into the friendship, and it was easy. She doted on you for your kind and quiet nature. She had said something about your aura being pure. 

You didn't have a mom, she died when you were three in a car accident. Your dad being in and out of rehab but enough to keep the roof over your head. Once Tess turned eighteen, she got an apartment and moved you both in. At eleven years old, you got the call your dad died. Tess adopted you, and ever since then, it was the two of you. That is until she met Andrew in a biology class. He helped Tess pass with an A. Turns out that he was studying to be a doctor. They started dating once the semester was over and didn't look back. Tess was always a good student, maintaining A's and B's while caring for you. Andrew learned of the situation and didn't leave like most people would do no, he stayed right there. He became a constant and even began to help with school work and projects. You always told Tess that you were preparing her to be a great mom. Andrew's family was very accepting of Tess; they treated her as their own, but you never felt like you belonged. It was the perfect family, but you didn't see where you fit in. Tess knew that, but she reminded you that she wasn't going to walk away from you that you would always be her number one. To this day, it stands true, obviously falling a little under her children, but love still strong. 

But with Anne, she didn't see you as someone broken or lost but someone who needed a bit more love. Love is what she has given you, she became your friend, someone you could trust in along with Gemma. It felt like your world was falling apart when Harry broke up with you because you couldn't turn to them, and your sister had her family to worry about. You always were good at becoming unseen when needed. Never wanting to be a bother. Except, here with her by your side, you don't know how you're supposed to let her go. 

Anne stops walking and takes a seat in the sand, placing her sandals by her side, and you join her without questioning her. 

"I waited for your phone call. Every day for the past week when Harry gave me the news even though I knew you wouldn't call." Anne cleared her throat softly. "I hoped you would."

You sigh. Those words were enough to bring tears to your eyes. You thought you were dried out of tears, but you were wrong. "I was close on many nights but- I-I it felt wrong too. He's your son, how could I do that to him?"

"He may be my son, but you're important too. My heart has enough space in there for you in a relationship with him or not."

You nod. Trying to wrap that around your head that she loves you even though Harry does not.

"The breakup came out of nowhere. The day before we're fine talking about adopting a cat and the next, he sits me down to tell me we're breaking up." You block the memories trying to resurface and trace small circles on the sand. 

You did out a seashell and cleaned it off before asking your question.

"Did he tell you why he was doing it?" It hurts to ask, but you need to know if he was honest with her.

Anne sighs but nods. "He said that it wasn't going to work out. You couldn't handle the public eye anymore and that it would only continue to affect you and your job. Said something about not fitting the image." 

A tear falls down, but you're quick to wipe it away. "He sat me down and told me we were breaking up. Didn't let me ask why or anything. A year together is nothing in this industry, we barely made it a month to the public eye. You'll be forgotten quickly, also tell me that because he was working on the new album, he needed an image more than the one he had." 

"That's not who I raised him to be," Anne says, disappointment evident in her voice.

"Although he broke my heart, I still love him. I still love him as much as I did when we first got together. I just don't trust him." 

Anne grabs your hand and links it together. She anchors you together because although she knows that she said you can count on her, this would most likely be the end of your relationship. Neither of you wants to admit it. 

"It's funny, the first month I avoided every place we ever went together, and it was hard because we did a lot around here. There are roads I avoid completely. This is my second time back at this beach, and I loved it here." You run a hand through your tangled hair due to the ocean breeze. "But now I'm going back to these places, and I pray every time I get out of the car not to run into him even though that's exactly what I want to happen. It's cliche, I know, but I really did lose my best friend." The tears are falling silently, and you are grateful Anne doesn't comment on it, but you swear you can see her eyes glisten. You rest your head on her shoulder and look out at the waves, no clouds in sight, just a clear blue sky. How you wish your brain would look this blank. 

There's so much you want to tell Harry now months after the breakup, but there's the fear of breaking down in front of him.

"Anne" 

"Yes, darling." She responds softly. 

"I-I uh-" You clear your throat. "If I were to give you a letter to Harry, would you give it to him. There are some things I need to get off my chest, and he needs to know." 

"That I can do." 

You sit up and grab both her hands and bring them to your chest. She looks at your love and sadness in her eyes. "You can only give it to him when you know he's better. He will need to hear this later when our hearts don't ache as much. When you as a mom realize he needs it. It'll be the closure we both need."

"I promise."

You make plans to meet for breakfast the next morning as she has no plans and knows he's busy. You'll deliver the letter and be on your way, closing that door behind you. You spend half an hour together more before you walk her down to the pier and make your way back to your sister. Heart heavy but not as broken.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You roll over and smile when you see Harry still asleep. He's lying on his stomach, and his head turned in your direction. You lay on your side, happy to admire him. There's a hint of a smile on his face, must be from the dream he is having. His long eyelashes resting on his cheeks, looking delicate and fragile. Not an inch of stress on his face. You can't help yourself and bring your index finger up to trace over his plump pink lips. Soft. You stop when you see him twitch a little but continue when he lets out a small snore. The room is quiet; your apartment is not located on a busy street, something your sister said was a must for when your nephews came to stay. You let Harry rest and get up going to the living room. You sit on the floor looking out at the window at the birds flying around, chirping away basking in the morning sun. You hear the creek of your door and know Harry is on his hunt for you. He's clumsy, so you won't be surprised if he crashes into the couch. He still must be tired. You hear a quiet "shit" and let out a chuckle. He stumbled around the corner with his misplaced shoes. You don't comment on it knowing he'd just turn the blame on you because he got out of bed for you. 

"Poppet, after last night, I thought you'd like to wake up in my arms." Harry sits behind you, the blanket wrapped around him now being placed over you as he drags you into his lap. 

"I'm an early riser, you know that." 

He sighs into your ear. "Means I didn't tire you out enough last night."

"Oh no, you did just that. The bruises are proof."

He laughs and kisses your neck lightly three times. 

"Coffee in the kitchen if you want some. Also, some muffins Gabby bought me for taking her dog on the hike with me."

"I want something else for breakfast." He whispers into your ear. His hand sliding up your thigh. He's met with your black shorts, he knows there is nothing underneath seeing as he put these on for you. "Will you let me?"

"Only cause you asked nicely." 

Harry is quick to lay you on your back. Your shorts come off just as quickly, he pushes your shirt up to expose your breasts. He sits back on his knees and allows you to see how hard he is in his shorts.  

"You're beautiful" He breathes out. "A true dream." 

"You told me that last night repeatedly." You remind him how he whispered in your ear at dinner with your friends around how the red dress had him hard as soon as he saw you walk in. You knew that if he picked you up, you would not have left your apartment. The night ended precisely how you wanted with Harry in your bed. Three months dating, it felt right. 

It was perfect. 

He leans in, placing small kisses on your calves, slowly moving up to your thighs. He kissed last night's bruises gently, a reminder of how rough he got once he got a taste of you. It drove him crazy. 

"Smell so sweet." He dragged his lips up to your core. His tongue between your folds, you moan softly under him. He pressed little kisses to your clit, you felt him smiling against you when he felt your thighs begin to tremble.

You let out a louder moan when he slipped a finger inside, your hands reached down to grasp at his hair. He pulled back to look up at you with dark eyes, smiling at you with wet lips. 

"You're a tease, baby." You breathe out as he slips in a second finger. He moves slowly, building up the pressure. 

He brings his mouth back down to your clit, gently grazing his teeth over it. 

"Oh, fuck!" You gasp. 

"C'mon poppet, come for me." A moan leaves your lips when his tongue picks up speed, making up for the loss of his fingers. "Please, let go for me."

You grip his hair harder, letting your orgasm take over your whole body. His tongue slowing down as you throw your head back and lay your hands on your side. He slowly works you through it until he sees your breathing come down, gentle kisses to your hips. He works up until he gets to your breasts. He leans in kissing each one gently. "Sorry, I neglected these beauties. I got so lost in you." 

Harry continues to move slowly, but you have had enough of slow. You pull him up into your arms, until he settles on top and kiss him until it leaves you breathless. 

You taste yourself on him, Harry kissing you harder as your hand begins to trail down to his shorts. He breaks the kiss and leans your head left, giving him more access to your neck, which he accepts quickly. He's slow and gentle compared to last night. 

"Going to let me make love to you, poppet." You nod wishing he'd move quicker as he kicks his shorts away. 

“Yes” You whisper, he’s building up the anticipation. 

He lines himself up, slowly pushing in. You let out a whispered fuck at his size. He goes in gently, not wanting to hurt you, always wanting you to feel good. 

Harry leans forward, kissing you as he begins to move against you. 

"Baby," You breathe out. "B-baby-y-y faster." 

Harry keeps your lips close, his breathing picking up. Whispered words against your lips. “I'm going to make love to you for the rest of my life. It's you and me, poppet." 

Your eyes shoot open, and you're quick to look around. You're in bed, left side empty. 

He's not here. 

He hasn't been here for months. Why does he keep coming back? Your brain needs to let him go, but you know that isn't the one holding on to him. 

You get out of bed and walk to the kitchen for a glass of water. There has never been an easy way to move on. This letter might be the best start.

 Harry,

I love you. I'll always love you. 

That's hard to stay, but it's the truth. You are my best friend. Remember the first time we talked on the phone and how we didn't want to hang up, so we talked about everything. From my first broken bone to your job at a bakery. You told me all about your childhood and all your dreams. At that time, I thought I would be at your side cheering you on as you were accomplishing them but that’s not the case. Just know that I'll be rooting for you.

I'm sorry I didn't fight for you. Guess it seemed like I didn't love you, but I did. I do. I think only ever having my sister on my side, I never realized I never learned to fight for those I love. Never doubt my love, it's real.

Don't be afraid to move on and love again, you deserve it. You deserve the greatest love out there. 

Remember, just because you love summer doesn't mean it can stay because who knows what October can bring. 

Maybe one day we'll find a way back into each other's lives, but until then, take care, H. 

Y/N

You put it in the envelope and seal it. You write his name on the front. 

It's time to close the chapter, time to move onto the next. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

October has finally rolled in, and you couldn't be more excited. Autumn brings in the cold and the changing of the leaves, but if you were to ask the students, it just means candy. For the month each Friday, a new activity is done in honor of Halloween. Your classroom is decorated in pictures drawn of your student's favorite movies. As well as small pumpkin string lights your sister gifted you last year. Your classroom door has black paper covering it and white ghosts—22 one for each student with their name on them stuck to it. You added caution tape to give it more detail. Then added small pumpkins around. It reads "Spooky Students" the class had a good laugh at the name, proper pleased. 

The first week was simple, doing a math game. 

Candy corn math. 

The children enjoyed it, all having fun adding and subtracting. Tina ate one and almost cried because she thought she'd get in trouble. You assured her it was all for fun. Then let them all eat their treats as you played them Halloween music. Fridays are meant to relax and have fun. That's exactly what you show your students. 

The second week they make spider headbands. Grace, your teacher assistant, helps with the cutting and stapling. The students enjoy gluing the spider's eyes most. It's an easy project when the students are focused on it. You have an hour of the day left and decide to play, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. It's starting, and as you're organizing the glues and packing away the scissors in their pencil boxes, Nicole, the front desk assistant, tells you there's a package you have to sign for. You nod to Grace to look over the class, and she gives you a thumbs up in return. As you reach the main office, you see a baker with two boxes chatting with Matthew Collins, the Vice-Principal. 

"Good afternoon gentlemen, I assume this is for me." You say, pointing to the pink boxes. 

"Good afternoon, got your kids treats, I see." He acknowledges. 

You shake your head, stepping to look at the note sitting on top of the box. You flip it open. 

Figured you and the children deserved a sweet treat. Take care, honey. xx Anne 

PS: A dozen snickerdoodle cookies are waiting for you at home. 

Anne, always so sweet and thoughtful. You had kept in contact with her after that time you handed her the letter. You came to realize you couldn't lose her, and she wasn't about to let you go without a fight. 

"A good friend actually sent them, knows how excited we get for October." You tuck the note in your cardigan pocket. 

"Well, that's a great friend to have. I hope your class and you enjoy it. Have a great weekend." Mr. Collins leaves, and you bid goodbye to the baker. 

As you make your way back to your class with two dozen cupcakes, you can't wipe the grin on your face. They are going to be so excited. The cupcakes are half chocolate and half vanilla. The orange frosting swirled beautifully on each one, each topped with a spider ring. 

You return, and all the kids are focused on the scene when Sally begins to yell at Linus as he's waking up for making her miss the Halloween festivities. Grace is quick to help you tell the kids you have a surprise for them all. The movie still plays as Grace places napkins on their desks. 

"A friend sent me a treat for you all because she heard how wonderful you've been doing." You tell them slowly approaching closer for them to see the box in your hand. "Say, do any of you like cupcakes." Cheers filled the room with your words. 

You both worked fast to give them each a cupcake of choice, no arguing whatsoever. Kind students you have. Grace grabs chocolate, and you grab the last vanilla for yourself. Grace lets you know she's going to get waters from the cafeteria to give to them. 

You sit at the back counter legs cup, leaning against a llama poster that says, "We love learning." A small gift for Julia. You grab the cupcake and fix your spider headband before taking a picture to send to Anne. 

Y/N: Cupcakes were a real success. I can't thank you enough. Love you, xx.

Anne: Don't you look precious. 

Anne: Glad, you all enjoyed it. Love you xx

It's an excellent way to end the week with a sweet treat from Anne and good old classic Charlie Brown. 

It is now the third week. The four first grade classes made a trip to the pumpkin patch. The school budget did get slightly raised this year, allowing you to buy small easy to carry pumpkins for each student. Parent chaperones are enabling you to make smaller groups to take each student to different activities. Your small group of six decided on the slide mountain that was atop of bales. It was fun, even going down yourself. Then that led you to picking pumpkins. Joey has trouble deciding before leaving the slightly bigger one when his arms got tired. You decided to get two big ones and two small pumpkins to take to your sister's house and you could carve together this weekend. It was now your turn for the hayride, and Chloe was really excited. She was the first one on, and as the trip went on, her head kept turning, wanting to see it all. This place really outdoes themselves each year, decorations only getting better. As it was closing time to go back to school, all students sat at the tables awaiting their apple cider and cinnamon-sugar donuts. 

You were about to take a seat next to Henry, the shyest student in your class when your name is called. You turn around and see Jeff, Harry's manager, and friend. 

"Hi Jeff," You step close and accept the hug he offers. 

"How have you been?" He asks.

You nod. "Good, welcoming the cold weather."

"It is nice."

Your grin begins to fade slightly as the small talk gets awkward. It's been a long time since you've seen Jeff. Not at all, forgetting how important a friend he was to you as well as Glenne. 

"What brings you here?" 

"On a class field trip." You gesture to the table behind you, seeing the kids sneak glances at you. 

"That is wonderful, good class this year?" 

You grin thinking about each of your students. "The best."

"Her cider is getting cold." Susan whispers, the small wide-eyed blonde says to Joey, worrying for you. 

"I've got to go back, probably going to bomb me in questions as soon as I sit."

"Of course." Jeff smiles in understanding.

"Tell Glenne I say hello. Take care, Jeff." 

You turn around, heading to the table. You laugh as your students quiet down as you take a seat. 

"Alright, what do you want to know now?"

The students always take your mind off everything. No conversation is ever dull, still trying their best to find out more about their teacher. 

Although seeing Jeff was nice, he's not the person you wished to run into every day. 

No, that someone has beautiful brown curls and emerald green eyes. 

The end of day breezes by, back in the classroom, the students grabbed their backpacks and walked out front to meet their parents. As you tidy up the classroom, Grace walks in a tight smile on her face. You know she has something to ask, but don't pressure her to do so. 

"Was that man a friend, we saw you with," Grace asks, wiping down the desks, "mom's were gossiping, thinking you were being asked out or was an old flame. Don't have to tell me, but he did look like a friend, at least an old one." 

You close your planner, happy with the coming week's plan. "My ex's friend.." You explain. "We were close. He was always kind and welcoming. Lost a lot of people during the breakup." 

She shoots you a small smile. "Never easy, but you don't get through it alone. Some people are meant to come into your life as lessons." 

Grace's optimism never fails to make you grin. "That is really nice to hear." 

"I keep waiting for the grand gesture for my ex to sweep me off my feet." Talking about this, tears at your heart, but it has weighed you down. "I just want to run into him. Go to our favorite places in hopes of seeing him even just for a moment." 

"That means you're not ready to put yourself out there?" Her voice was full of curiosity.

"Correct. I love Harry, I always will, but my heart seems to be holding on for some reason." 

"I'm a phone call away if you ever want to get drunk and watch movies and eat our weight in food." She offers sincerely.

"I'll keep that in mind." 

Grace bids you goodbye and walks out. It's nice to be reminded you have people around you supporting you, but all you want today is to see the sunset and you know just the spot.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Malibu is known for having the best spots for the ocean view and standing here, a blanket wrapped around you, hearing the waves continue to crash with the rocks below you believe it is. You came here because you know not many people know about this location and if the other two cars there say anything about it continues to be unknown. 

Growing up in Southern California, you have always been grateful to have the ocean nearby. You and your sister would always make your way here to celebrate good days or to clear your head. You spent your day here when you got accepted into UCLA and when Andrew proposed to Tess. This place is full of good memories; it's like being there all the bad in your life disappears. Bringing Harry here for the first time was a big step in your relationship, it was you letting him get to know you, no barriers in the way. 

You hear a car pull up, but don't bother looking over thinking the person might be heading down the trail. It's a couple, and you can hear the girl whisper something then heads off to the dirt trail. You're not sure how long you stand there when you take one final look before unwrapping the blanket and placing it in your trunk. Just as you are about to close it, you hear your name called. 

You turn around quickly and are surprised to see him. You weren't even aware he was here, last you heard he was on the last leg of his world tour. 

He's dressed in a black Columbia hoodie, grey Nike shorts, and black running shoes. His hair has beautiful long curls, and he's got a clean-shaven face, always made him look younger but does give a good view of his strong jawline.

"Harry," You breathe out. 

Your heart is beating so fast you think it might jump out of your chest. You've been waiting for the day you run into him, but it was not today.

It might be the worst day. After a field trip with first graders, no one is making out as clean as they arrived that morning. Your lavender knitted sweater has sugar stains, and your old blue jeans have dirt on your knees from kneeling to help with the pumpkins. You wore old black converse never bothered with the dust, but this time you wish you had your back up pair. You don't even want to imagine how your hair looks. You snap out of your thoughts when Harry stops giving you a once over and breaks the silence.

"I always seem to find my way here." He tells you, looking down at his shoes. 

You sit in your open trunk of your CR-V and scoot over to let him know to sit. He does so without saying more. It's a heavy silence, but you don't give it much thought looking out at the ocean. 

"I got your letter." 

The letter you wrote four months ago. If you're honest, you didn't think back to that since you handed it over to Anne. 

"When?" You questioned.

"Two weeks ago," He looks over at you, staring at you, waiting for you to look over at him. "How long did mum have it?"

You lock eyes with him, his eyes filled with curiosity and kindness. "Since June." You look away, not able to take in all the emotions coming up. "Guess you were finally ready for it."

Harry nods and stands up, and he walks a few steps before making his way back to stand in front of you. He looks nervous about sharing, and all you can do is offer him a smile. He lets out a deep breath. 

"I went on this date that Jeff set up for me, and it was awful. Nice girl, but everything felt wrong. It was wrong." He runs a hand through his loose curls as if to get rid of the nerves. "I looked at her, closed my eyes, and opened them, and the person I wanted it to be was not in front of me." 

Harry's looking at you as you try to wrap your head around his words. You don't know how to respond. He was waiting for you, but he was the one who left you. 

"You didn't realize it until then?" You're confused. It took him eight months to realize he made a mistake. 

He stares right at you, not wanting you to miss his next words. "I realized it the second you walked out the door." 

Your face drops at his words. 

Harry runs a hand down his face before taking a step forward. "I tried to find you. I would go all over Los Angeles hoping to run into you, but I stopped after the party when you told me the truth." 

"I was harsh, felt awful at how I handled it afterward." 

"Don't apologize," he gives you a half-smile, "I deserved that. Honestly, I needed it." 

You both go silent. You're staring at one another, memorizing each other's faces that you had begun to forget. You could stare at Harry forever, and you always told him that he had a face one could get lost in forever, finding new details to memorize. 

"Do you even remember that night?" You ask because you know you do. It used to haunt your dreams until it didn't. That day no longer lingers at the back of your head, but if you think back to it, all the emotions come again, hitting you harder than ever.

Harry sighs, "Every time I close my eyes." 

You walk into your apartment, surprised at the quietness. Harry always liked to have music playing. He's sitting on the couch staring at the black screen of his phone. 

"H, ready to cook dinner, got home early because you said you wanted lasagna tonight. Always faster when we cook together." Stepping closer to see why he's sitting so still on the couch. 

"Sit with me." He whispers, patting the seat next to him. 

You sit down, reaching to grab his hand, and he lets you. He squeezes it tightly before letting go. 

"I love you." His eyes meet yours. He looks in pain. "But I'm breaking up with you."

A million thoughts run through your head. Harry's breaking up with you. He's leaving you.

He looks at you, waiting for you to say something. "It's not easy for me, but it's what's best for my career. I will be going back on tour soon, releasing a single. You wouldn't handle all the attention with paparazzi well, so I'm saving you. It's easier for others in the business, but you wouldn't survive this" 

His words cut daggers into your heart.

It's best for my career.

It keeps repeating in your head, his job, he doesn't think you're enough for his lifestyle. You weren't enough to keep him happy.

"Harry, it doesn't-" The tears are rolling down your face, you can tell he wants to reach over to wipe them, but he holds himself back. "So this is it?" 

He nods. "The end for us, but we can-" You cut him off before he can say, friends. 

You already had him in your life as a friend. You can't go back to that not after knowing how he loves being the little spoon, how much he loves his hair being played with, but most importantly, how kind and gentle of a lover he is. He has so much love to give and do not receive that any more will break your heart: no kisses, no hugs, and no love. 

You grab your keys, bag, and slip your shoes on. "Goodbye, Harry." 

He stands eyes red, he looks sad, but he has no right. He wanted this, not you. His house had become a second home, but now you feel like an unwelcome guest. You walk out without looking back each step towards your car, making you cry harder. 

This is the end. An end, you never saw coming.

It seems like you were both lost in the memory when you hear Harry begin to weep quietly. Your heart pulls you in two ways, wanting to comfort him or sitting there, letting him cry, but before you can decide, he's wiping his tears.

He lifts his head to meet your eyes, his eyes keep filling with tears, but he doesn't bother to wipe them anymore. "Are you happy?" he whispered.

You nod a small smile on your face to assure him. "I am. I'm not sad and miserable anymore, but I'm also not filled with sunshine. I lost a lot when we broke up; you have to know that," He nods letting you know he's listening. "I also found myself, found love I lost over the years. Found love in me." 

He smiles when he hears that his dimples were coming out. "That day at the party, I was in the worst place possible, but I reached out to my sister and told her I needed therapy. I wouldn't have gone if it weren't for my sister's support. Honestly, you were in the back of my mind because you shared to me how important and impactful it was for you, and I know I had so much to share not just from the breakup but from my childhood." 

"I'm glad." He chokes out his voice, rough from crying. 

"I am too." You smile because this is nice. All the running you did didn't allow you to talk with Harry, but the time has come, and you're grateful for that. 

"I wasn't planning on coming up here today, obviously," You gesture to your dirty clothes. "I had that pull to come here as soon as I was pulling out of the school parking." You confess to him.

"I finished a yoga class and was on my way home when I took the wrong exit," Harry corrects himself, "Or well the right turn looking at it now." 

You're not sure where you stand with Harry, but you both know the feelings are still there. As if they never left. 

"We can't pick up where we left off." 

Harry nods, agreeing. "In that case, may I take you out on a date Sunday?" 

"I'd love that, Harry." 

You stand up and pull him in for a hug. You know you surprise him because he tenses up before wrapping his arms around you. You sigh as you feel Harry squeeze you tight. He breathes you in, and you can't help but let out a small laugh. 

"Did you just sniff me?" You're laughing against his chest feeling his heartbeat pick up.

"Oi, don't laugh at me. You smell like strawberries." He defends. 

"Pretty sure I smell like dirt and sweat. A field trip running around kids will do that to you."

"I disagree." He pulls back to look down at you, but you keep your head on his chest, liking being in his arms. "Always smell great." 

You move to pull back, thinking it must be too much too soon for both of you, but Harry doesn't let you. He holds on tighter. "Couple more minutes, please love," He whispers against your hair. You nod and let him begin to sway you both gently as if you were both ones with the wind. 

"Is it too forward to ask to kiss you?" Harry asks timidly.

You lean back and laugh before looking up at him, his eyes hopeful but also knowing. "It is." 

"It was worth a shot." 

Harry leans in to gently press a kiss to your forehead, his lips soft. He steps back after a few seconds. "I'll call you."

You nod. "Please do."

Harry holds his car door open but makes no move to step in as if waiting for something. You don't want him to leave. 

"Harry," You call out. He turns around and shoots you a cheesy smile causing you to smile back. "I really want you to kiss me, trust me but," 

Harry nods in understanding. "Slow and steady, love." 

You stare at him, and his eyes are bright and hopeful. Hopeful in their future together. "Slow and steady, we can do that."

Just like that, you and Harry both drive away from each other, but your future together has never looked brighter.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Thank you for reading! I love you 

Come talk to me and tell me what you thought of Into You 

[hotarutranslations]

Fully Prepared!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi

 Up To Boy released today,

 Sato Masaki-chan, And Ishida Ayumi are in the magazine

 Its Da—Maa—time from the 9th and 10th generation series

  Maa--,

 Is supppeerrrr pretty right!

 Yeah yeah yeah

 With a shoot that expressed Maa’s favorite song “Fantasy ga Hajimaru”, the 2 shots I had her do with the bubbles looked good!

 → I posted the offshots

 Maa’s face is really symmetrical, since she has pretty eyes and nose,

  I thought a mirror would suit her well

  Also the bubbles were supper cute, It felt like, Maa-chan!! I think all of the fans will enjoy it

 For me Maa,

 Really,

 It felt like a film shoot! its like it was art!

 She took Ayumi photos till she was satisfied!

 The Cameraman gave the ok, If Ayumi’s no good, its no good!

 While saying that, I was able to have a really amazing shoot, Since photography is about capturing a moment, As the appearance will change even with a small movement,

 It was fun to take the photos while fine tuning it

 The photoshoot theme from Maa was, “One Should Learn From Other’s Mistakes” (Tazan no Ishi) it seems, how deep

 By all means, please read about Maa’s ideas, In the interview

 If you haven’t seen either yet, Please definitely check out the magazine!

 Thank you!

  Also, the shoot I had with Sasaki Rikako-chan “CanCam”

 This was also released

  The interview was exciting!

 From now on we’ll be starting Kacho Fuugetsu, Since we talked about it, I think you’ll look forward to it even more—

  That’s right!!!

 From tomorrow, finally, Zoku Kacho Fuugetsu starts

 Look forward!

 During the rehearsals, Suddenly,

 …….I’m looking forward to it

 Some girls were like,

 I’m happy about that, it was relieving!

 Next to me today, Maopin and Rin-chan said it fufu

 Tomorrow is finally the first day,

 I hope it will be a wonderful time

  Thank you very much for your support

 Hello Pro Dance Academy In Season 5 we learning tap dance, And had a collab with s**t kingz-san

 For this next season 6, we are delivering a really energetic performance with everyone from Fabulous sisters

The first episode will air on October 21st, for streaming, please check it out

9.14 Goods

Fall Goods

Today Tokyo Sports note Series updated↓ #32 Lets Do Our Best In Our 25th Year!

Morning Musume '21's Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~"

Radio Nihon Every Saturday 12:00AM~12:30AM STV Radio Every Sunday 12:30AM~1:00AM KBS Kyoto Every Wednesday 9:30PM~10:00PM

I'll be in attendance the last week of August and the first week of September

Click here for classes that can only be heard here morning@jorf.co.jp

  See you ayumin ❤

 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12699547797.html

[stanfordsweater]

maple & maize

maple answered here!

maize: share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

i'm ignoring the street part to tell the funniest thing that's ever happened to me

when i was 18, i worked at a self-serve frozen yogurt shop. it was a franchise, but it wasn't doing too well-- not many customers, not many employees, flaunting labour laws all over the place... i was the best employee there, and i had the highest tips, but i only ever got a 10 cent raise the entire two years i worked there. they also tried to convince me to help them with tax fraud, but i'm not gonna tell that story. an important piece of information about me is that i am very short, very young-looking, and (supposedly) very sweet.

anyway, i was working the closing shift one night. it was maybe a wednesday. not a lot of people had been in, i was just doing my thing, prepping fruit for the next day, when these three 20-somethings walked in. one dude had just gotten off his shift at the bank he worked at, and the other two were university students. they were talking about their jobs and their lives while they were getting their yogurt, and they seemed fun, but the dude who had just gotten off work would not shut up about his job. he spent the entire ten minutes they were in my shop talking about interest rates, and bank loans, and charitable donations. by the time they got to my till, he was still going on about it.

it turned out bank guy was the one paying. he said to me, hey, have you ever gone to [nondescript bank name]? i said no, but i've heard about it, and it seems cool!

i wanted tips.

dude starts going on about the benefits of switching to his bank-- and one of his friends cuts him off, turns to me, and says hey, if you tell him to shut the fuck up, i'll give you a hundred dollars.

the other friend slaps him on the shoulder, but before she can say anything, i turn to bank guy and tell him to shut the fuck up.

complete silence.

i'm like wait, what's going on, why is everyone staring at me. do they think i'm 13??? they were GAPING in shock. i'm sitting here with a fixed smile on my face like FUCK I WAS JUST PLAYING ALONG DON'T HATE ME???

after a loaded three seconds they all start laughing, and i stop praying not to get fired. they pay, take their yogurts, get out. fun times. i start taking the caps off the machines and polishing them.

about 45 minutes later, ten minutes before closing, i'm in the back. i hear the door chime. fucking customers. whatever, i put my smile on and go back out there-- and it's the guy who asked me to swear at his friend.

and he has $100 in cash in his hand.

and he SHOVES IT INTO MY HAND AND RUNS.

and so basically he's my favourite person ever and he paid for my birthday that year <3 thanks random dude, hope your life is fabulous and you experience many good things! i also hope you know i wasn't 13!

[desire-tenderness]

𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires.  TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow.  [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ]     We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.

[neeterloveschenford]

Thoughts on RNM 3x10

Well here we are a day late and a dollar short (they’re killing me having to go in early on Wednesdays). But my lord were we blessed this week! I mean blessed and highly favored!! I can’t believe we are basically watching fanfic come to life. It’s amazing how much goodness we are getting. This is our reward for surviving last season. But I digress. Let’s talk about the best episode of this season! Let’s dive in.

Why you gotta step on Hufflepuff, Heath? Don’t you have any idea how amazing Hufflepuff is? SImmer down son.

I agree with Liz. I dislike the Longhorn tattoo too. (I am from Oklahoma afterall.) But I will not be upset seeing Max naked. He may annoy me most days, but he is a pretty pretty man. And I like how sweet he is with Liz here lately. Apparently this brush with death is making him appreciate the magnificent woman in his life. Growth. It’s a good thing. He’ll probably never completely win me over, but the more naked he is the better. (I’m a simple woman.)

Michael feeding his man! I loved this scene. I love how he just wants to take care of Alex. And I love how Alex wanted more kisses, but Michael had to show off his intelligence. Can’t have the bae thinking we’re not brilliant can we. Alex looked so put out! It was great.

So Anaste and Isobel are cute. Not gonna lie. But it’s too late for me to become invested in them this season. I think she’s just this year’s Forrest to be honest. And there is no way that they are not setting up Kybel. Just the utter joy they have in spending time together. I love them.The way Kyle looked at Isobel when she talked about helping people reminds me of the way that Alex and Max look at Michael and Liz. So I cannot see how they cannot be cosmic. And the way they support each other is fabulous. I think they will have the sweetest love story because it’s not going to be falling super hard super fast. I think Kyle is already starting to realize that he has feelings for Iz. And I think Iz will have a moment like Kyle did last season when Iz propositioned him. She’s going to pursue this relationship with Anaste, then realize she has feelings for Kyle. I can’t wait.

Dallas inadvertently teaching Isobel not to violate people’s minds makes him ok in my book. I like him. I still think Heath’s pretty boring, but we can keep Dallas. I mean, Malex’ll need someone to marry them, why not an alien preacher? And I love the fact that we are seeing him interact with Michael first. Poor Michael is probably the worst choice to stall for time. I just love seeing him try to come up with reasons why he shouldn’t leave.

Sassy Max is funny. Of course he would call it a lightsaber. Makes me wonder if he is an actual Star Wars fan, or if he’s just calling it that because that’s what Michael called the sword.

I’m thinking that we’ve had another instance of things that happen off screen. Kyle was obviously not happy to see Heath. Someone has to have told him that they think Heath was the one who attacked him. Heath had the alien mask on when we saw him, so he wouldn’t have seen his face, and the only other time we’ve seen them iAnd nteract was at Liz’s when Kyle was rubbing the vapor rub on Liz’s chest. Not the type of interaction that would make Kyle freak and lunge for his phone.

I love you Jones, but you need to keep your hands off my Kyle. He’s been through enough! Let my son go!! Also, can’t Liz find a better place to keep her bag of notes? And I’m about done with the sheriff lady. How dare! Arresting sweet Kyle. But look at him trying to protect Isobel! They’re not setting up Kybel at all! Nope.

Seriously Isobel, floating a giant smiley face is not the best way to calm someone down. She’s trying though. I love her no matter what. And Michael baby when will you listen to Alex. He’s the only one who knows how to keep his cool under pressure. Poor Dallas running away.

I love how this confrontation between Malex went compared to the last one they had in Michael’s bunker. They could so easily go down the same path they’ve always taken when they disagree. But they are committed to working things out. They are going to be such a strong couple. I am so excited to see them grow! And Michael listened!!! I’m just so proud of them. They have made so much progress!!

Another Kybel moment! They are going to make me scream if they don’t follow through with this! And you have ice powers was hilarious!!

This was a nice little Echo moment. They are not my favorite. But it was nice to see the hope blossom in Max. I don’t think he’s thought that they would find their way back to each other. So it was nice to see Liz admit that she still loves him. He has something to live for again. Good for you Max.

I still think Heath’s pretty boring. I liked the conversation with Michael and Dallas. They really bonded over their crappy childhoods. I want to see them have a great friendship. I like that they are so similar but have chosen such different paths.

Dear Liz, please learn Jones’ mannerisms. It’s really obvious to anyone that pays attention. That way you won’t have to kiss a megalomaniacal dictator next time.

I like how Kyle says he doesn’t like Max but he still wants to save him. I also really like Theo. I wouldn’t be opposed to a flashback with him in it. I’d really like to learn more about the Triad. Where does that leave Max? Did they look for Dallas back in 1947? So many questions. So many that won’t be answered. So if this equation can make Jones’ reign everlasting, does this mean that Max’s body is immortal?

Never thought I’d feel bad for that sheriff. Maybe she’s going to be like OG Valenti and end up being an ally. Or Isobel will mind scape her. I guess we’ll find out.

Kyle looks so forlorn. And Dallas picked the wrong person to tell that he might have to kill Max. I don't’ care how much smack Kyle talks, he will never let someone kill any of the pod squad. He’s just that good. I also think that the equation in the alien symbols will be something that Alex will figure out. In the OG series, Alex figured out how to translate their language. So I definitely think one of the world’s best hackers could figure it out.

And now we’re getting to the good stuff. This scene was everything I have ever wanted for these two. It was soft, sweet, loving, sexy, and hopeful. They are both so all in with this relationship. I always knew that the moment they were both on the same page, then that would be it. There is no turning back for either one of them. And the fact that they brought back cosmic and the song was chef's kiss! Alex’s face when Michael told him he was home was so emotional. They just love each other so very very much. I have cried every single time I have watched that scene. People at work the next day wanted to know why I was smiling so much. I just can’t believe that we are living in the age of Malex. And the chest kiss. But seriously, can we not let these boys have sex in a real bed? Trust me, things start to hurt after you hit 30. Their backs are not going to like them much longer if they keep this up!

So nitpicky time. There were only two small things that annoyed me in this episode. First was Dallas saying that the Lockhart machine had haunted him for 25 years. If he was 7 when he came out of the pod like the pod squad were, then they would all be 32 now. That adds on at least a year from where we are supposed to be in the timeline. Also, did Michael live with two religious nutcase families? Cause he said he was 9 when he was burned at his exorcism. But he showed Max fresh burns when they were around 13 in the season 1 flashback. I know time means nothing on this show, but if I can remember these things, surely someone on the show should be able to.

Anyhoo, that’s all I’ve got this week. I am now going to go have a small breakdown again about Malex. Hope everyone has a wonderful week! Till next time my lovelies!